No Mercy 2001
Date: October 21, 2001
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 15,647
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I’m down to just No Mercy and Backlash now which makes me shake my head very hard. Anyway, this is during the Alliance Era but it’s the very tail end of it. The main events tonight are Jericho vs. Rock for the WCW Title and Austin defending against RVD and Angle. We also get Edge vs. Christian for the IC Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the triple threat and what everyone wants in it.

WCW Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Lance Storm/Hurricane

Matt and Jeff are champions coming in. The triple threat later is now No DQ. Ivory and Molly are with the Alliance team and Helms is European Champion. Hurricane vs. Jeff gets us going. Naturally they move around very fast and the Hardys hit a move they used called the Spin Cycle. Off to Matt and Storm makes a blind tag so the Alliance can double team. Matt comes back with a double clothesline and here’s Jeff.

Ivory trips him up and Storm takes over. Hurricane sets for a dive but Matt makes the save. Molly gets in for no apparent reason as Hurricane dives onto both Hardys and part of Storm. The challengers take over on Jeff for awhile but he comes back with a Whisper in the Wind on Storm. Hurricane stops the tag….and then Jeff makes it a few seconds later. Matt speeds things up and Poetry in Motion takes Storm down. Middle rope legdrop gets two on Hurricane. A Twist attempt is countered into a double superkick to Matt. Everything breaks down and the girls get into it. Litarana, Twist, Swanton to Hurricane and the Hardys retain.

Rating: C+. Fine opener here to get the crowd fired up. Opening with a tag match, especially one with four smaller and faster guys out there, is a great idea and it always will be. The Hardys would pretty much stop meaning anything as a team soon after this and they would be split in less than a year.

RVD arrives and is greeted by Regal. Regal thinks RVD should apologize to Austin for Frog Splashing him last week but RVD doesn’t think so. He isn’t on Vince’s side either.

Vince arrives and Cole annoys him. This is a return apparently. Vince promises answers before the night is over and he’s here to make an impact.

Test vs. Kane

Brothers vs. Test/Booker so there’s another match later. Kane starts fast with the high impact stuff and a powerslam gets two. Test gets thrown to the floor where he manages to hit a bell shot to Kane. JR wants to know why that isn’t a DQ which is a fair question. Nick Patrick is referee which should explain that. Back in with Test in control. A middle rope back elbow gets two.

Sidewalk slam puts Kane down for no cover. The Canadian misses the top rope elbow and here comes the Big Fried Freak. More power and we go to the floor again. Test sends him into the post and the big boot puts Kane down. Back in the ring Kane hits a quick chokeslam but the cover is delayed to make it two. The top rope clothesline misses but Test hits the pumphandle slam for a close two, as does the top rope elbow. All Test has left is the big boot but he gets a chair instead. Kane busts out a dropkick (decent one too) to kick it back into his face. Patrick steals the chair and the big boot (clearly missing) gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but the ending really hurt things. Test was on a huge roll at this point and would win the Immunity Battle Royal at Survivor Series before fading into nothing over the next few years. Kane would be on Team WWF at the Survivor Series so that shows what a win on PPV gets you.

Kane chokeslams and powerbombs Patrick post match.

Coach wants to talk to Austin but gets Debra instead. Austin yells a promo through the door which Debra repeats. Not exactly funny but whatever.

Stacy is here. She shows him her lingerie for the lingerie match with Torrie. She leaves and Lita comes up. He seems a bit preoccupied.

They actually recap the lingerie match. Do you think I’m really going to bother here? Stacy caused Torrie to be put through a table. That’s about it.

Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler

This is a lingerie match which means they wrestle in it. Let’s get this over with. I can’t stand these kind of matches. I mean, the girls look great but when I can see them in even less for free on the internet, what’s the point? Stacy has a riding crop or something and spanks Torrie and the referee. They “wrestle” for a bit and exchange a bunch of rollups. Torrie wins with a handspring elbow. This was worthless.

Angle talks about Vince wanting RVD to join the WWF. He however has his eyes on both Austin and RVD. Vince comes in and wishes Angle luck.

Christian says he’s better than Edge and incorporates the St. Louis Cardinals into it.

We recap Edge vs. Christian. Christian said he was superior after winning the IC Title with some cheating. Their mom allegedly had a car wreck on Monday (I forgot I had reviewed that Raw) but Christian faked the whole thing and joined the Alliance.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Christian

Oh and did I mention this was a ladder match? The brawl starts in the aisle with Edge taking over. Backdrop puts Christian down so he hits the floor. Here comes the first ladder but Edge hits a baseball slide into it, sending the ladder into Christian’s ribs. They head into the crowd over by what appear to be hockey boards. There’s nothing to do out there so they head back to the ring.

Christian is laid on the floor and catapulted into the ladder which is up against the ring. The ladder is bridged between the steps and barricade with Edge being dropped onto it. They fight onto the ladder and Christian gets crotched. Edge looks to put the ladder inside the ring but Christian manages a see-saw shot to the face to take over. Christian goes up but Edge makes an easy save.

Christian pins Edge in the corner with a ladder and gets a chair. For some reason he goes to the top with that chair and is promptly slammed onto the ladder. Both of them are sent into the ladder with Edge going in second. Here comes another ladder which Christian climbs. Edge sets up the original and goes up as well, resulting in an Edge-O-Matic from the ladder. That looked awesome. Edge goes up, but Christian hits a reverse DDT off the ladder to get us back to even.

The champ rolls to the floor and gets a pair of chairs. This isn’t going to go well is it? Edge avoids the Conchairto and brings in a third ladder for some reason. A ladder is propped up between two chairs and Edge splashes Christian onto it with the ladder not moving at all. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Edge climbs but Christian jabs him down with a ladder.

Christian goes up but Edge dives off the ladder with a spear to take him down. There are three ladders set up in the ring now: two next to each other and one perpendicular to it. As in the third one’s legs are facing the two ladders which are facing the cameras. Both of them go up and they crash down to the floor.

The fans are way into this and I can’t say I blame them. Christian gets back in first and climbs but Edge hits him low which is what Christian did to win the title in the first place. Edge puts him on the top of the ladders, puts a chair under his head and delivers a One Man Conchairto to KILL Christian. Edge pulls down the title which is academic.

Rating: B+. What else were you expecting here? The ending looked great and is a great way to end this feud. At the end of the day, these two are masters at this kind of match so giving them 22 minutes to have one is about the best thing you can possibly do. Great match and it did exactly what they were hoping it would do.

Spike is at WWF New York and drinking. The Dudleys half killed him on Smackdown a few weeks ago so he’s injured. Spike says he’s here to watch the Dudleys lose and Paul makes fun of him for getting dumped. A decent looking chick comes up and Spike gets preoccupied.

WWF Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Tajiri

I think Show came out to help Tajiri for some reason and this is the results. Tajiri starts with Bubba and the Dudleys take over. D-Von comes in but walks into a superkick for two. Here’s Big Show and D-Von gets gyrated on. The Dudleys get sent to the floor and Tajiri hits a nice flip dive to take them out. Sidewalk slam gets two on D-Von. Back to Tajiri who walks into a Bubba Bomb to give the champs control again.

Flapjack gets two and a Midnight Express reference. Off to the chinlock by D-Von as the idea is the obvious one: keep Big Show out of there. Tajiri gets in a shot but Bubba distracts the referee so the tag doesn’t count. What’s Up Tajiri. Tajiri counters a powerbomb into a DDT and both guys are down.

There’s the tag to Big Show to almost no reaction. He cleans house but a chop block breaks up a chokeslam. Show is knocked to the floor as Tajiri gets a Tarantula on D-Von. Double handspring elbow takes down the Dudleys. The Mist hits the referee though before Show chokeslams Bubba. Rhyno runs in and Gores Show to take him out. Buzzsaw Kick gets two on D-Von but Tajiri walks into a 3D keeps the titles on the Dudleys.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but they were doing what they could here. The tag titles were rapidly becoming worthless, partially due to there being two sets of titles which just weren’t needed. They would be unified at Survivor Series but it’s not like that helped anything. The division was dying because you only had three teams that ever won anything.

Regal praises Rhyno.

Test and Booker fire each other up. Shane is here too.

Booker T vs. Undertaker

No real reason for this other than WCW big name vs. WWF big name. Booker jumps him to start in the aisle and takes over. Now they get in the ring and the bell rings. Big boot gets two and Booker takes over quickly. Booker’s shoulder hits the post so Taker works it over. An armbar goes into a Fujiwara version and then Old School. Booker heads outside and sends Taker into the steps.

He grabs the ring bell ala Test earlier but this is a WWF referee so it isn’t allowed. Taker gets in a right hand and they go into that ever present empty space in the front row of the crowd. Back in and Booker hits a missile dropkick for two. Hook kick puts the big man down for a delayed two. The Spinarooni is postponed and Taker comes back with right hands. Snake Eyes is countered into a neckbreaker by Booker for two.

Booker jumps into a boot and Taker punches more. For a guy based in MMA, he really like to box. And Booker like to kick, as he hits a spinwheel kick for two. DDT takes Booker down and man I’m doing a lot of play by play in this. The lack of story really can hurt matches. Leg drop gets two for the Dead Man. There’s the Harlem Side Kick by Booker and SPINAROONI!!!

Scissors Kick gets two. Man Booker likes throwing kicks. I said that already didn’t I? Chokeslam is countered by a low blow and then were get to the end. Booker makes the eternal mistake of punching Taker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride. Man if I never see that finish again it’ll be too soon.

Rating: D. That ending didn’t help anything. The striking gets old but it wasn’t that terrible. I really wasn’t into this at all and I think it’s due to the lack of the story here. The match isn’t exactly bad but it was pretty boring. Booker was treated like a goon in WWF as the heel turn really never worked for him at all.

Jericho says he has to go win the big one, which is the big knock on him up until this point in his career.

We recap Rock vs. Jericho. Jericho accidentally hit Rock with a chair and cost him a match. Rock asked what was that and Jericho said he was just trying to win. Rock wanted Jericho to say it was a mistake and it turned into a fight. Jericho beat RVD for a WCW Title shot here tonight. Rock said that Jericho didn’t always choke. He just isn’t good enough to win the big one. This was a very well built up feud.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and Rock grabs a headlock. Jericho grabs an armbar but shifts over to chopping instead. Rock Bottom and Walls are both countered so Jericho dropkicks him to the floor. Back in Jericho hits a top rope back elbow for two. They’re starting kind of slow which says to me that they have a ton of time to work with. They chop away in the corner but Rock walks into a spinwheel kick to take him down for two.

Senton backsplash puts Rock down even more. Rock fires off a jumping clothesline but walks into a Stun Gun. Belly to belly by Rock puts both of them down. It’s been mostly Jericho so far but Rock is hitting enough stuff to stay in there. There’s another suplex and a Samoan Drop for two. Jericho knocks him down so Rock nips up. Rock knocks him to the floor for a bit. Back in a vertical suplex gets two for Rocky.

Rock throws him to the floor and once we’re back in, Rock throws on a chinlock for awhile. Jericho gets catapulted into the corner so Rock can load up a superplex. Chris knocks him off and a missile dropkick puts both guys down. Jericho wins a slugout and a rana gets two. Rock comes back but Jericho catches him in a Rock Bottom. Lionsault gets two as this has gotten awesome.

Jericho loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock moves. Because, you know, it’s an elbow. Rock hooks a Sharpshooter and the Canadian is in trouble. Jericho finally gets to the rope and the fans aren’t sure what to do. Out to the floor and it’s Spanish Announce Table time. Rock Bottom puts Jericho through the table and the place pops big. Back in the ring and Rock stalks Chris.

Another Rock Bottom is countered but Rock manages a spinebuster and loads up a People’s Elbow of his own. Jericho picks the ankle into the Walls and Rock is in trouble. Rock reaches for the rope but Jericho pulls him back to the middle. And here’s Stephanie because what’s a great title match without a McMahon? She throws in a chair and Rock DDTs Jericho. She cheers for Rock so Rock brings her in for a Rock Bottom. Jericho catches Rock in a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) onto the chair for the pin, the title and a BIG pop from the crowd.

Rating: A-. I’m bringing this down a bit because of Stephanie. I mean there just was no need for her to be in there. It was minor but what in the world does she need to be there for? Jericho winning is still huge, but it should have been without her out there. The chair is fine, but why did we need her? The match was GREAT otherwise though with them mirroring each other perfectly.

Rock gets the chair post match but hands it to Jericho instead of hitting him with it.

We recap the triple threat. Austin is champion and paranoid, RVD is the most popular guy in the Alliance and might as well be a face, Angle is the WWF guy that wants the title that Regal screwed him out of. Austin told RVD to reach for the stars so Foley became commissioner and made this match because the fans wanted to see RVD in the title scene. Rob was seen getting out of a limo with Vince so Austin doesn’t trust him. You know, along with the fact that he’s Austin. Van Dam hit a Frog Splash (intentionally) on Austin and Vince came out to do the RVD finger point.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Steve Austin

No DQ here. Kurt suplexes both of them just before the bell. The Alliance guys team up to kick Kurt to the floor and it’s time for their showdown. Angle gets back in before too much happens and RVD goes down. Austin takes over and beats them both down but Kurt grabs the ankle. Rob breaks it up and fires off kicks on Austin. Angle tries to suplex him but gets kicked as well. Rolling Thunder gets two on Kurt. Angle is knocked to the floor so Austin hits a spinebuster for two on RVD.

Half crab is broken up by Kurt. Angle’s bad luck continues as Austin knocks him to the floor and then channels his inner Cena for an STF on RVD. Kurt breaks it and they go to the floor where Angle is launched into the post. Van Dam’s legs get some post too. They’re moving very quickly in this. Everyone not named RVD fights into the crowd for about 8 seconds. Rob Dives onto the floor to take everyone out.

Austin is left on the floor so Angle suplexes Van Dam. Moonsault hits and I don’t ever remember seeing that happen in WWF. Austin tries to steal the pin but only gets two. Angle and Austin both try Stunners but wind up clotheslining each other down. Five Star misses both guys so Angle Germans him with a bridge for two. Kurt gets caught in a Stunner but Rob saves it.

Angle Slam gets two on Rob but Steve breaks it up and throws Kurt to the floor. For some reason he goes after him instead of going after the down RVD. Now the English announce table gets loaded up but Austin gets backdropped onto it, although it doesn’t break. Van Dam dives onto Kurt as he turns around and everyone is down. And here comes the Boss.

Austin is the only one on the floor now and Kurt goes off on Van Dam. A spinwheel kick takes Kurt down as JR writes Austin off in this one. Geez man it was just a backdrop. Five Star is loaded up but Kurt runs the corner and slams him off. Austin gets back in and Stuns Angle to the floor. Vince runs in with a chair and pops Austin in the back. The great feuds never die. Five Star to Austin but Vince gets Angle back in to break it up. Time for rolling Germans to Van Dam, four in this case. Angle Slam hits and Shane runs in to break it up. Vince and Shane fight as Austin Stuns Van Dam to keep the title.

Rating: B+. That might be a bit high but I really enjoyed this one. They never stopped moving in it and that means a lot when you consider that it’s over fifteen minutes long. The ending hurt it but the rest of it worked quite well. I don’t think anyone believed Austin was going to lose here but an obvious ending can be perfectly fine at times. This was quite good.

Overall Rating: A-. I went back and forth on this but at the end of the day, it’s a great show and that’s all you can ask for. The main events were great and I really liked the tag match. When you have three matches that are very good to excellent and the rest of the matches are at least decent, you really can’t get much better. Very good show and worth checking out if you’re in the mood for a show that doesn’t mean much (the IC, WCW tag, WWF Tag and WCW World Title were all changed within 15 days), this is a good one.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 1, 2002
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators; Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to something other than TNA for a nice change of pace. This is a request and it’s probably due to just the main event. This is the show where somehow midcarder Jeff Hardy is getting a world title shot in a ladder match against the Undertaker. Other than that, this is a very generic looking card. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Vince talked about Ruthless Aggression. Vince wanted to know who had it, and that man would be the new King of the Ring: Brock Lesnar. Van Dam, the guy that Brock beat in the finals, disrupted the coronation and beat Lesnar up. Kind of. They had a rematch later that night for the IC Title which RVD had won with the Five Star but Heyman caused a DQ. Brock powerbombed him through a table to end the show.

I forgot how much I liked Across The Nation as a theme song.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to open the show. Paul says this will be the summer of Lesnar, not the summer of RVD. Heyman talks about how Lesnar has intelligence and is inspired by Kurt Angle. Angle issued a challenge to any rookie to debut against Angle (some guy named Cena debuted). Heyman says Brock is issuing a challenge to anyone.

Brock Lesnar vs. Ric Flair

Not bad for an opener. They do also cover themselves here by saying that this open contract was issued at 1pm this afternoon so it’s not completely illogical to have Flair ready to go. Flair yells at I think Heyman about interfering in a match that cost Flair control of Raw. Lesnar says Flair is in the wrong place with the wrong guy in the wrong year. Flair gets run over to start but manages a chop to slow him down.

More chops and Flair tries to get Brock to chase him. Knee drop gets two for Ric but he gets launched over the referee with ease. Brock takes over and there’s the Flair Flop in the corner. Lesnar works on the back and they go to the floor for a little bit. He goes shoulder first into the post back in the ring and Flair has an opening. Flair chops away but runs into a bearhug. A pretty weak spinebuster (no snap or pop at all. Maybe some crackle though) takes Flair down but he hits a low blow. Figure Four goes on but here’s Heyman for the distraction. Flair goes for him and walks into an F5 for the pin.

Rating: D. Apparently the bad booking of monsters isn’t a new thing. Lesnar is supposed to be an animal, yet it took Heyman to save him from Ric Flair? Yes, Flair is a veteran but that doesn’t mean Lesnar shouldn’t kill him. Would you see a 53 year old boxer destroying a 25 year old phenom? I didn’t think so. Not a fan of this at all. The veteran will possibly have better technique and be more polished, but at the end of the day he isn’t going to be able to take a right cross to the chin.

Coach hits on Jackie Gayda in a creepy way, talking about the Divas Undressed competition. Jackie gets annoyed with him, blaming her last tag team loss on Molly. Molly comes up and says Jackie should follow a role model. They brawl into the arena and Molly tries to kill her with a pipe. Time for a match no one is interested in!

Molly Holly vs. Jackie Gayda

Molly hits a missile dropkick and beats Jackie into the ground. I don’t think this is an actual match. There was no bell or referee or pin. Trish comes out to save Jackie and takes Molly’s pants off. I clearly get the point in this. Don’t you?

Christopher Nowitski has challenged Bradshaw to a match that isn’t for JBL’s Hardcore Title.

Christopher Nowitski vs. Bradshaw

King has Chris’ Harvard ring. JBL kicks his head off to start and it’s a beating. Jibbles goes for weapons but it’s not hardcore. In the confusion, Chris hits Bradshaw with a cowbell and pins him. This didn’t even last a minute.

Regal is watching on a monitor in what is apparently Heyman and Lesnar’s dressing room. RVD arrives limping and wants to know where Brock and Paul are. Regal says be on time next time and they’ll have a match later apparently.

Jeff is in the back and is offended to hear he’s the underdog tonight. He has to climb a ladder and he runs around in the back climbing various things. We really should have seen the signs back then.

Booker and Goldust are in the back and Goldust is dressed as Darth Vader for no apparent reason. Booker doesn’t like Star Wars but apparently he likes handling a Lightsaber. “Obi-Book-Kenobi.” WHAT AM I WATCHING???

Vince gives the fairly newly back Eddie a pep talk before he teams up with Benoit later. Vince asks what the translation is for Ruthless Aggression in Spanish. “Eddie Guerrero holmes!” Benoit is in his first match back in like a year after his neck injury.

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Van Dam is IC Champion and Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal takes him to the match very quickly and counters the stepover kick. Out to the floor after a suplex and a Knee Trembler gets two back in the ring. Regal keeps it on the mat and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap. Rob manages to grab a monkey flip and hammers away in various corners. Spinning cross body gets two as does Rolling Thunder. Butterfly suplex is countered and the Five Star ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh not bad and definitely the best of the night. They were starting to push Van Dam at this point and he got some world title shots later in the year, but then the company decided to go with Shawn as champion and then HHH forever instead of Van Dam. RVD got the title in like 4 years, but then proved that he couldn’t handle it so that’s all well and good.

Van Dam calls out Lesnar but gets Heyman instead. Heyman says we’ll do it at Vengeance. Ok then.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit

This was set up last year with Benoit returning and putting a wicked Crossface on Bubba. Eddie vs. Spike gets us going and Eddie controls as he should. Bubba comes in and hammers on Guerrero, only to walk into a dropkick. Eddie does a fairly unnecessary roll but it brings in Benoit. Benoit goes all psycho with the chops in the corner and Bubba is in trouble.

Bubba hits a sidewalk slam for two but the Canadian hits a German on the American to take over again. I love watching people throw German suplexes. Bubba gets a neckbreaker and it’s off to Spike. Spike grabs a rolling cradle for two. He tries another but Benoit grabs a Crossface to draw in Bubba. The heels make an illegal switch and Eddie pounds on Spike for a bit. Spike goes into the post but there’s heel miscommunication and the Dudley Dog.

Both guys are down and there’s the hot tag to Bubba. They were pushing him as kind of an upper midcard guy around this time, possibly as a world title challenger when HHH got the Raw title. Believe that playa. Sorry I had to do it. What’s Up to Eddie and Bubba orders a table. There’s one set up on the floor but Benoit pops Spike. Eddie hits a nice springboard rana to take Bubba out but the Frog Splash misses. Bubba Bomb ends Eddie.

Rating: C+. Not exactly the ending I was expecting but it was a good tag match which is what this show needed. The Dudleys were still an odd pairing as while Spike is indeed a Dudley, he’s not the Dudley that you think of as part of the Dudley Boys. Also, kind of an odd return for Benoit wouldn’t you think?

Spike goes through the table and Benoit hooks a Crossface on Bubba for a good while.

Rey Mysterio is coming. The music almost sounds like it’s from Halloween.

DarthDust comes up to Big Show and it’s just weird. Goldust says he’s Show’s father and breaks a plastic sword over his head. Goldie goes to leave but walks into Nash who kills him. It was NWO time if I didn’t mention this.

Video on Hardy’s history in ladder matches.

Taker says he’s going after Angle and then Rock. He’s not worried about Hardy at all.

Show finds X-Pac unconscious in the back. Make your own jokes.

Booker T vs. Big Show

This was supposed to be a tag match but take what you can get. Booker had been kicked out of the NWO and was on a revenge tour…kind of. The NWO would be gone in two weeks anyway so it doesn’t really matter. The mashup of Show’s music with the NWO theme doesn’t work at all. Show and his one piece women’s swimsuit of doom takes over quickly on Booker with the size and power game.

There’s a suplex for two. This was a period for Big Show where he was getting way too big and way too slow and it hurt his game really badly. Bearhug now and Booker is in trouble. Sidewalk slam gets two. They go to the floor and Show keeps up the dominance. Show gets the steps but they get kicked into his face. We’ll ignore the laws of physics that would suggest that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for the steps to hit him in the face from that angle but whatever. Booker wins by countout.

Rating: F+. This was nothing and the ending sucked. Booker got in one move other than the kick to knock the steps into Show’s face. Other than the tag match, all of these matches have just sucked, mainly due to them being short. The NWO never worked in the WWF but they kept shoving them down our throats until WWE woke up and stopped it in a few weeks.

Nash and Michaels, also in the NWO, punch Big Show. Make that just Nash actually. Michaels says they’re after Booker, not each other. Shawn says the NWO is a family and they’ll be a more complete family when the injured member returns. That would be HHH and he never would join. After a LONG speech, he kicks Show in the face and they leave.

Vince tells Taker how awesome he is. Taker vs. Rock is announced for Vengeance.

Matt wishes Jeff good luck and Lita pops in in a neckbrace to wish him good luck too. Jeff nearly destroys the door and screams a lot as he leaves. We really should have seen the signs coming.

Undisputed WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

So the idea here is that Jeff has been destroyed by Taker every time they’ve fought but Taker has never been in a ladder match so Jeff should have a chance. Taker goes for the ladder but gets it kicked into his face. Jeff gets a chair shot in but Taker catches the ladder shot from Jeff. They haven’t been in the ring together yet. Taker hammers on Jeff for awhile but gets sent into a ladder to slow things down.

Jeff launches himself at the ladder with Taker under it, probably hurting himself even worse. They get into the ring and Jeff is down again. Taker gets a big shot with the ladder to knock Jeff into the table. He has the match won but instead Taker climbs down and pounds on Jeff even more. This is SO slow. Jeff tries to fire in some shots and goes off on Taker but a single punch slows him down.

Taker hits a running clothesline in the corner. This is the least interesting ladder match I’ve ever seen. Taker misses a charge in the corner and slams into the ladder….but is back on offense about 4 seconds later. Whisper in the Wind takes Taker down but the champ is back up and hitting a big boot before Jeff gets in another shot. A low blow puts Taker down as does a flip dive to the floor.

Jeff gets the big ladder but Taker stops him with a Last Ride attempt. The WORST RANA EVER sends Taker to the floor as a counter and Jeff climbs. He touches the gold but Taker makes the save. Taker goes for the Last Ride again but Jeff cracks him with a chair twice and climbs very slowly. And never mind as Undertaker cracks him with the chair and “chokeslams” (more like choke-shoves) him off to retain.

Rating: D. I remember this a lot more fondly than it was here. The ending is good and is some decent drama, but the rest of it is just SO slow and uninteresting. Jeff never had a chance but Taker did nothing but punch the rest of the time and that doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Very weak match but a good ending.

Jeff gets back up so Taker goes back in and hits a Last Ride. Taker rides off but Jeff gets the mic and says he’s still standing. Taker comes back to hit him but stops and raises Jeff’s hand, supposedly turning face in the process. I don’t remember that coming for a few more weeks but allegedly it was here.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the second hour was much better but the first one was just horrible. The problem here is that it felt like a throwaway show but they didn’t want it to be if that made sense. It set up some stuff for Vengeance but not a lot happened here. Oh and Thursday is the show where Angle made the Undisputed Title disputed, which I’ve already reviewed actually.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 15, 2001
Location: Corel Center, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

This was a special request from someone so here it is. To set the stage a bit, this is during the latter part of the Invasion/Alliance angle and Austin is the top dog in the whole thing because when you think Austin, you think of his time in WCW and ECW right? The Alliance was doomed from the start, if nothing else due to their name. It sounds like something you have as an indy company instead of the company that’s going to fight Vince. I wonder if it was a backhanded jab at the NWA. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Shane talking to Austin about the triple threat main event on Sunday (No Mercy) and Austin is told that there are two Alliance guys in it so they have a 2/3 chance. Austin isn’t happy with the idea of RVD winning the title. RVD was as popular as beer in a frat house at this point, so they went with Angle instead. You know, because that was the smart idea right?

The main event is Austin/??? vs. Angle/???.

Here’s Foley who has a new book and is commissioner again. Mick asks why he’d come back to a place where he keeps getting yelled at and fired. His response: he doesn’t care. He didn’t come back for Vince, he didn’t come back to plug a new book (“Like this one: Mick Foley’s Halloween Hijinx, which just happens to be available at bookstores now.”), but rather for the fans. He made the triple threat for the fans and we have a cheap pop.

Cue Trish who is returning apparently. She talks about how Foley needs some Stratusfaction and hypes a lingerie match at No Mercy. Trish: “You know who looks great in lingerie Mick?” Foley: “Pat Patterson?” She takes her robe off and is in a one piece. I’m not one to complain, but is there a point to this? Foley offers to put her in a cage at his house where his kids can poke her with sticks. And that’s it. That’s the whole segment. Trish isn’t even in the match Sunday. Why did this happen?

In the back Austin is having a meeting with the Alliance. He says he’s cool with RVD reaching for the star because that’s what he said to do. As for the mystery partner tonight, he’s going to put it up to a vote. Austin has Debra hand out paper and pencils. Well at least he’s organized. He hints that he doesn’t want it to be RVD. Booker basically says he knows he’ll (as in Booker) will win.

The APA are with Jackie and Nidia in the back. Nidia recently won Tough Enough and they want her to come with them to the ring tonight as a reward. They get to their office and Hurricane/Mighty Molly have attached their Hurricycle to the door. They drive away and destroy it, ticking off the APA.

Big Show vs. Dudley Boys

I know this is saying a lot, but Stacy was never hotter than when she was with the Dudleys. The Dudleys beat up Spike and Show is here for revenge for some reason. The double teaming doesn’t work so the Dudleys run, but Big Show chases them down (which sums up the Dudleys’ conditioning) and we go back to the ring. They beat him down and hit What’s Up but can’t suplex him. Show destroys them and chokeslams D-Von but he wants a table. He sets up a powerbomb but Stacy gets on the apron and starts shaking it so Bubba can hit Show with a title for the weak pin.

Rating: D-. The only reason this doesn’t fail is Stacy is go freaking stunning in this era. The match was junk and I have no idea what the point was to have this match. There’s some post match stuff and it’s kind of a reason, but was this really the best they could come up with? Bad match, hot woman.

Tajiri runs out for the save and Bubba goes through the table.

Austin gets the final vote and is ready to come count them, but he throws one away (presumably a vote for RVD) and leaves.

Quick video showing Regal, now in the Alliance, being fired as Commissioner of the WWF.

Here’s the Alliance for the vote reveal. Stephanie and her awesome implants makes fun of her mom and hands the mic to Shane, who announces Regal as the Alliance Commissioner. Regal says he’s proud to be here and that’s it. Oh never mind. He says this is the rising force in sports entertainment and praises Austin.

Austin says it’s time for the vote and everyone chants RVD. RVD gets there late for no apparent reason. Austin reads through the votes (which have names on them) and Booker seems to be running away with it. RVD only gets one vote so Austin just ends this and says it’s Booker as his partner. Booker says he’ll prove his worth.

RVD isn’t happy so Austin yells at him, saying he only got one vote. Taz isn’t happy for some reason but he’s only kind of glaring and doesn’t say anything. Austin asks RVD if he thinks he deserves to be in the ring with Austin. RVD deserves to be a champion, so he gets a WCW Title shot against Rock later tonight. The idea is he’d be out of the triple threat if he wins. Regal officially makes the match.

Hurricane/Lance Storm/Mighty Molly vs. APA/Jacqueline

Hurricane is getting more and more popular at this point. The APA charges in to start and the beating begins. Faarooq and Storm start but Molly tags herself in. She hits Faarooq in the back and it’s off to Jackie. Jackie beats her up a bit and hits a bulldog for two. Hurricane comes in but so does Bradshaw who cleans house. Hurricane puts on the cape but jumps into a fallaway slam. The Clothesline ends it. This was a squash.

The booking for that makes no sense either as Hurricane and Storm had a WCW Tag Title shot on Sunday while the APA was in a dark match. There’s a good example of stupid and not thinking in booking. It’s booking for the TV show, not the PPV.

Kidman thinks something is up with the votes, because everyone listed voted for RVD. Tazz comes in and says shut up or he’ll tell Austin. Tazz vs. Kidman later.

Angle isn’t sure who his partner is going to be. Taker walks up and says he’s going to be the partner. Angle is cool with that.

Jericho says he wants to fight Rock at No Mercy. He and Rock are feuding so he makes fun of Rock’s signature stuff a bit. Cue Rock, who towers over Jericho. Rock says stay out of the match with RVD.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is on commentary. Rock hits the release belly to belly to start and we head to the floor. Rock avoids the spinning leg drop from the apron and both guys get rammed into the table. Van Dam gets a spin kick and a leg drop for two. Jericho isn’t all that impressed with Rocky. Van Dam works on the ribs which Jericho calls smart. You know, because his finisher hits the ribs. That’s a little thing called analysis, but we don’t have time for that. WE HAVE TWITTER LINES TO RECITE!!!

Split legged moonsault misses and both guys are down. Rock gets up first and hits a DDT for two. I like RVD standing on his head for all intents and purposes when he gets dropped on his head. Rock Bottom is blocked but Rock hits a spinebuster to put both guys down. Van Dam sweeps the leg but Rolling Thunder is countered. They go to the floor and Rock hits him against the announce table. Rob goes for a chair and uses the distraction to let Rhyno run in for a Gore. Rock is dead so RVD goes up for the Splash and Jericho shoves him off for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic match until the ending. This could have been a good match but with just eight minutes there’s only so much they can do. You can argue whether or not the ending makes sense but it’s close enough I guess. Still though, this was fine considering it was thrown onto the show (because we can’t market it right?) and RVD doesn’t get the title yet.

Jericho doesn’t save Rock from the beatdown because that’s what Rock wanted right?

Stephanie yells at Rhyno about how Jericho just messed everything up. Stephanie, just look hot. Don’t talk. You can’t do it.

Tazz vs. Billy Kidman

Tazz throws him around and they seem to mess something up where Kidman’s face hits the back of Tazz’s head in the corner. They slug it out and Kidman hits a spinning X Factor to end this. It wasn’t even two minutes long and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone was a bit messed up out there.

Rhyno vs. Chris Jericho

Rhyno is US Champion but this is non-title. Rhyno clotheslines him down and pounds Jericho in the corner to start things off. Jericho fights back and hits what we would call the Skull Crushing Finale for two. Spinebuster puts Jericho down for two. That’s a very popular move tonight. Off to a chinlock. I’m sorry about all the play by play but with practically zero backstory here there isn’t much to talk about.

We go WAY old school with Rhyno busting out an airplane spin for two. Rhyno continues to surprise me, missing a middle rope splash. Jericho speeds things up but misses the Lionsault. Belly to belly gets two for the horned one. Jericho hooks the Walls off a rollup but here’s the Alliance for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was nothing worth seeing. The whole point was for the run-in and the post match stuff, which is nothing all that interesting. The interesting thing to see though is that Raven and Mike Awesome ran in for the DQ. If those two, especially Awesome, had been used properly, my goodness what they could have done.

Rock comes out for the save and lays Jericho out with a Rock Bottom, which isn’t really that popular in Canada.

Diamond Dallas Page is at WWF New York and doesn’t like Canada. He’s really positive. It’s pretty clear he’s fishing for ANYTHING he can talk about here.

Edge vs. X-Pac

DIG THAT ROB ZOMBIE INTRO!!! This was right around the time where Edge would hit a groove and was without a doubt the hottest thing on the planet. If he hadn’t gotten hurt, John Cena might have been out of a job. Pac is Light Heavyweight Champions, meaning that every match tonight other than the six man has had a champion in it. That’s RIDICULOUS.

Edge grabs a headlock as Heyman defends Pac from an attack by Ross that doesn’t really exist. On Sunday, Edge has an IC Title match against Christian. It’s also a ladder match. Think that might steal the show a bit? Pac sends Edge over the top and hits a sweet baseball slide to take Edge out. Back in with a chinlock by Waltman. Big spinwheel kick gets two. He loads up the Bronco Buster but it gets countered with a spear, which isn’t quite a finisher yet. Edge-O-Matic gets two. After hitting the post, a flapjack and the Impaler finish Pac.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match here and I can’t emphasize this enough: you can have a coherent match that has a small story in it in less than five minutes. That’s what they did here and it was pretty entertaining. Then again, you had two talented guys in there so it worked out pretty well. Edge would get the title on Sunday.

Post match JR whispers something to Edge. It seems to shake him up and he runs off.

In the back Edge is frantically trying to leave. He runs into Christian and says their mom has been in an accident and they need to get to Toronto. Some Alliance guys try to stop him and Christian turns on Edge, revealing himself to be the newest member of the Alliance. Heyman officially announces Christian as the newest member.

Angle has on a bandana and sunglasses like Taker.

Booker T/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kurt Angle

It’s a brawl to start on the floor until Booker and Angle officially get us going. Off to Taker vs. Austin with Austin hitting the Thesz Press. He hits three ropes for the flipping off elbow and gets caught by the throat. Austin manages to get Booker in and one Texan takes down the taller one with an axe kick. Spinarooni is broken up by a clothesline from Taker and here’s Angle.

To the floor and Kurt tastes some steel. Austin and Booker take turns beating him up and Austin hooks a chinlock. Angle is bleeding a bit under his eye. There’s an ankle lock out of nowhere but Booker breaks it up. There’s a tag to Taker who JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE. My mind is blown. There’s goes the referee but Taker can’t chokeslam Booker. Austin is knocked to the floor but Test runs in to break up the Last Ride.

He kicks Kurt down too and Kane comes down to even the odds. Taker and Booker fight into the crowd and Austin hits Angle with a belt for two. Austin hits the second referee but both guys get low blows to put everyone down. RVD runs in and hits a HUGE Five Star to Angle for Austin to get the pin. You know, because we can’t have RVD as the top face the audience wants him to be right?

Rating: C+. It was fine for a main event tag match but it had all of the wonderful overbooking that you grow to expect from the WWF in this period. Not much to see but it advanced three matches for Sunday, which they really needed because this has been a pretty lousy go home show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one at all. It doesn’t make me want to watch No Mercy and I barely got into the flow of things at all. Everything was focused on the main event but without context it’s really all over the place. Today’s product is really good at throwing you into the mix very quickly but making sure things don’t get too heavy. This didn’t do that and the build for the show suffers as a result. Not a bad show, but it doesn’t help to build for No Mercy that well at all.

Here’s No Mercy if you’re interested:

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Living Dangerously 1999
Date: March 21, 1999
Location: Asbury Park Convention Center, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Attendance: 3,900
Commentator: Joey Styles

So Taz is world champion. Yep that’s about all there is to it at this point. Other than that there isn’t a ton going on here. Shane is on his way out and the company is in trouble. They wouldn’t be on national TV for another few months and this is really a dry spell for them.

The problem was no one bought Taz as champion after the “big” win for reasons I’ve already given. Other than that, the main thing here is RVD vs. Lynn starts up. Now I have only seen one of their matches in their seemingly never ending series, so let’s get to this. Yep the card looks like crap. I’m stunned.

Some guy asks Taz what it’s going to be like when there’s the unification match tonight. It’s the FTW Title vs. the ECW Title. Good to know. He calls out Austin and Flair, the other world champions and a bunch of other guys. Give me a break Taz. Fits the character though.

Joey welcomes us to the show. Having the logo on the mat helps a lot. We hype up the main event because we haven’t had Sabu vs. Taz in awhile. Ok then.

Play the theme song monkeys!

Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

It’s a rematch from the last PPV, which is a good idea as it came from out of nowhere and was awesome. Tajiri’s hair looks more like it would later on so that’s a bit more like it. Apparently there have been other matches and this is the blowoff to it. Now this is a match where I wonder something: how do they call spots? Not trying to sound rude or anything but do they speak the same languages?

We start with a lot of nice looking spots which don’t accomplish anything but they got the crowd impressed so that’s a perk. Big old standing ovation for that and I can’t blame them. Love that handspring elbow. Naturally this is more of a spotfest than a match but that’s all fine and good. If these are on the show, this is where they belong without question. Crazy hits the triple moonsaults which are kind of cool I think.

Wow Crazy is better than I remember him being. This has been all him at this point in case you were wondering and there goes his head from a kick so there we are. I could watch Tajiri kick people all day. Crazy misses a springboard and the crowd seems to think he screwed up. Crazy goes completely away from the match idea and hits a low blow. They set up a second Batista Bomb but they botch the heck out of it so I think Tajiri countered it. After another counter, Crazy gets the pin on a rollup.

Rating: B. Not bad, but way behind their other match. This was certainly entertaining, but at the same time it was miles behind what they did last month. Far more of a spotfest than anything else but at the same time that’s what an opener should do: it got the crowd into it so this was a success.

Van Dam, Sabu and Van Dam say they’ll beat Taz. Van Dam should be world champion, period. You can see the masking tape over the Taz name plate on the FTW belt. That’s awesome.

We see some highlights of the previous match but it’s interrupted by some guy that looks like Sean Waltman from the mid 90s yelling. HOLY CRAP THAT’S STEVE CORINO????? He looks NOTHING like he does now. I mean NOTHING. I honestly didn’t recognize him and that hardly ever happens. He yells out an open challenge and the fans want Sid. We get Balls and Axl instead.

Balls Mahoney vs. Steve Corino

I really can’t get over how different he looks. I’m in awe. Hearing Corino called young is rather amusing. This is all Balls to start. Steve is the heel here. How many times did Rotten actually wrestle? All I remember him doing is screaming and yelling a lot. Mahoney hits a decent frog splash if nothing else.

The fans want to see a chair shot. I’m amazed at how Corino is more or less a jobber here. He always had a sweet superkick. He refuses to use the chair and gets booed. Amazing isn’t it? My mouth is hanging open from that chair shot. He might get up by 2001. Balls wins with ease. Fans were way into it at least.

Rating: D. Seriously, Mahoney just beat Corino. Even as a jobber, that’s not right ever. This was like 4 minutes long so how good can they make it? Steve was a total jobber if nothing else anyway. Total filler of 7 minutes counting intros here.

We recap the Dudleys vs. the Gangstas which wound up with Mustapha turning on New Jack to set up their match tonight.

Little Guido vs. Antifaz del Norte

No one knows who the other guy is. Big Sal is the only one with Guido tonight. There’s a really long stall to start. I’m sure there’s an epic story behind this and it’s not just a randomly thrown together match at all. His name means Mask of the North or North Mask in case you were curious for no apparent reason. The fans are shall we say restless although the Mask guy isn’t bad. The fans want Tracy Smothers.

We get a big chop battle that leads nowhere. Russian legsweep from the middle rope and you can make your own ethnical jokes. The fans chant boring and I mean they chant it LOUDLY. Sal likes to curse a lot. He ENDS the masked guy with a powerslam through the table at ringside. A Sicilian (Walls of Jericho) Crab ends it and we get the bad FBI music. Smothers and Rich come out and beat up Guido until Sal chases them off.

Rating: D-. And that’s all on the masked guy. I have no idea who he was and I have no idea where he went after this. He was pretty good though which makes up a bit for Guido being completely uninteresting. Why was this on PPV again?

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

Ok let’s see if this lives up to the hype still. Van Dam gets an epic pop. Still gets nowhere near the main event or the world title. I’m stunned. Oh and he and Sabu are the tag champions again. Paul, take a good look at RVD. He’s the reason you’re out of business. The fact that you simply never made him the main guy killed your company.

Well among other things but that could have gotten you a lot of cash at the end. Lynn is a guy that the more I see the more I like. Apparently Van Dam is supposed to win in a walk. ECW needs to stop the close-ups. They do a swank sequence of can you top this which is working for me. Lynn took his freaking head off with a clothesline there. Van Dam likes to stall. A lot.

In a funny spot Lynn drops a leg on the back of his neck when he does that split move. Perfect timing on it too so it looked great. Lynn shows off his leaping too and hits a spinning crossbody to the floor. The psychology here is that Lynn is doing basic stuff to counter Van Dam’s high stuff. Apparently one of the fans loves a girl named Melissa.

We’re in the crowd now with a bunch of jumps and flips from Van Dam. Entertaining if nothing else. Van Dam tells D-Von Alfonso to get the table. Oh wait it’s a chair. That’s better. I will never be able to avoid cringing at the surfboard. That’s just insane. Not big on the chair stuff here but with Van Dam they never booked him right anyway so it works.

SWEET counter as Lynn hits a counter to something into a springboard into a powerbomb onto a chair. Better than it sounds. Van Dam takes a reverse DDT onto the chair for two. The chair is laying on the mat for the most part which is annoying but bearable I guess. Apparently Lynn is the new F’ING show. Fonzie makes the save for Van Dam as Lynn was up top with the chair.

And Lynn goes off the top and through a table against his own wishes. Lynn has been down a LONG time. Jerry stops the attack with a chair to stop the split legged moonsault. I love pinfall reversal sequences and apparently the crowd does too. The speed here is great. Van Dam takes a tornado DDT from the apron onto the table. Note that it wasn’t through it. That was scary looking.

Hey we’re back in the ring again. Lynn hits a nice jumping DDT for two…and we get a bell? The referee tries to hand him the belt as he’s making a decision. Uh, WHAT? Lynn wants five more minutes. And for once that’s what we’re going to get. That decision has boggled my mind. See my mind? It’s boggled now.

Who in the world would do that? RVD hits the Van Daminator and the Five Star to take over from nowhere and get the pin. There might have been two more minutes after Overtime started, making me wonder WHAT THE FREAKING POINT TO IT WAS. They shake hands after the match which is always cool.

Rating: B. I said to X in the Board Room that I didn’t know if this was good or not but it was certainly entertaining and I think that holds up actually. It’s certainly entertaining, but the referee making the decision thing was just WEIRD. I mean have you ever heard of that before? Still though, this was full of sweet spots and while there was little flow to it, the oh crap factor makes up for that so I’ll take it.

Ah apparently the main event WILL NOT have a pre determined winner. Got it.

We kind of recap Taz vs. Sabu. Why is that so hard for them to get right?

Jasmine St. Claire, an adult actress, says she’s the new queen of wrestling. Cue Francine. This was earlier in the night. And the point of this was…?

Mustapha Saed vs. New Jack

Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. Mustapha paid off the Dudleys to beat some guys up, including new Jack. Can someone shoot that stupid song? I beg of you. Oh dear. It’s a bunch of weapons shots. The main ones are a keyboard and a plastic lawnmower a 2 year old would like. New Jack swings a guitar that breaks before it hits Mustapha.

Oh dear. We hit the crowd and you can feel the balcony dive coming. Mustapha is taped to the table and there goes New Jack. Yep there he goes. Nope it doesn’t mean much as he does it every time. And after being walked back to the ring that’s enough for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Dude, New Jack, you can’t wrestle. Let it go. This wasn’t wrestling so I can’t grade it.

And here are the Dudleys. They beat up New Jack until a bunch of guys come out to save him. Joel does his intro and it’s pretty weak. Bubba starts talking, still as a country hick. They don’t have a match or anything as they’re just here talking. It’s open challenge time.

Spike Dudley/Nova vs. Dudley Boys

And of course within a minute we have Spike thrown into the crowd and he’s surfed around. His leg hit the rail on the fall though so the sound was really bad. Nova looks like Hurricane in blue and black here. He gets a Bubba Bomb from the middle rope and 3D. Ok let’s move on. Ring announcer gets 3D. DANG Spike has been surfed around for a long time.

Bubba talks again and says there’s no one left. Something tells me that a certain monster named Sid will be here soon as he was featured in the opening video and he happens to be an unstoppable monster. Bubba offers to fight the crowd. Judge Jeff Jones comes down with a stretcher and yep there’s Sid. Sid blowing bubbles while Bubba yells at him is funny. SID SELLS SOMETHING! I’m in SHOCK.

Fans are WAY into Sid who hits a double chokeslam. Sid destroys them and…here’s Spike again. Sid beats up D-Von on the ramp and Spike hits the Acid Drop…for the pin. Sure. Why not? Spike gets powerbombed too. Sid would be gone in a few months for WCW. And there’s another powerbomb through a table conveniently placed on the floor.

Rating: D-. The fans popped HUGE for Sid but other than that this was just a total mess. The idea that the match was still going on all that time is nothing short of idiotic and it shows very well why Heyman’s booking was so crazy at times. This should have been Sid comes out and beats people up. Spike and Nova simply weren’t needed.

We recap Shane leaving ECW which hasn’t actually happened yet but should have happened about 6 months before this. The fans of course don’t want the biggest heel in company history to go. The Impact Players argue over who gets to be the next Franchise. Shane says Dreamer gets to carry on the legacy of Shane. There are too many jokes there than I have time to type. The Impact Players beat up Shane and Francine to a ballad for some reason and Dreamer is beaten up too.

Tommy Dreamer/Shane Douglas vs. Impact Players

This is more or less Shane’s final big deal in ECW. Dawn Marie is pretending to be Beaulah at this point for no apparent reason. Oh Storm is Dreamer and Justin is Douglas. I get it now. Francine’s looks were WAY underrated. Shane of course went from being the top heel for like ever to being loved because he wanted to retire which is a wrestling tradition. Of course he was in WCW in like 2 months.

Shane in long tights is just weird looking. This new ring announcer kind of sucks. Dawn Marie dressed like Beulah: WIN. Great heat on Storm here. And we’ve already got double teaming. Something tells me this is going to get insane soon. Justin won’t come in to fight Shane. Ok never mind yes he will. Shane hits a nice rolling suplex set. Always loved that kind of thing. Dreamer hooks the absolute worst abdominal stretch I have ever seen. I mean it looks AWFUL.

The heels are dominating as Dawn apparently has herpes. Justin isn’t that good, period. Storm does one of the worst spot calls this side of Shawn Michaels. We get a TOTALLY random Ric Flair sucks chant. Credible screams for mercy which is rather amusing. This isn’t quite a fully fledged disaster but it’s reaching the outer limits of Disasteria.

This is more or less heel dominance for the most part, which tells me that the faces will get the win in the end. It’s weird but whenever the faces take over the crowd dies a bit, even though they’re all over the heels. Most odd indeed. They’re setting up for the big hot tag to Shane by having Dreamer get the heck beaten out of him.

Shane comes in and offers to reform the Triple Threat and then screws over the Players by hitting a double clothesline. Ok that was pointless but whatever. Dawn hits a low blow on Shane while Jazz distracts the referee. You know, because the referee wouldn’t hear the screaming she was doing. Cat fight ensues of course. This is still pure heel domination.

And here’s Francine with a ladder. Sure why not? Dreamer hits the DDT on Justin into Lance’s balls. Justin kicks out of the belly to belly. Oh I’m so shocked. Maybe he managed to do that because IT’S JUST A FREAKING SUPLEX! Francine stops a cane shot and kicks Justin in the head to set up the Pittsburgh Plunge for the pin.

Replay shows Justin looking over his shoulder to make sure she was there for the spot. Post match Cyrus comes out and causes the Impact Players to beat up the faces. He saves Francine though.

Rating: C-. Not bad but whatever I guess. This was all about Shane getting one last thing and he did so good for them. Yeah the match sucked but it had great heat and it got the job done so I’ll give it credit.

We look at the TV Title match again as we’re rapidly running out of time. The referee says this isn’t Holyfield-Lewis fight and there will be a clean winner. He’s referring to Evander Holyfield vs. Lennox Lewis. They had a long fight and Lewis more or less dominated but the fight was declared a draw. Apparently the referee was ready to give Lynn the belt because he was the clear winner.

Even the interviewer more or less says that’s freaking stupid. Van Dam walks in and says there will be a rematch at the next PPV. Sure why not. So Lynn had the title won and was told he had the title but wanted five more minutes and got pinned clean. Sure why not?

ECW World Title/FTW Title: Sabu vs. Taz

This is title for title for no apparent reason. We see a clip of how Taz broke Sabu’s jaw. Apparently that same clothesline tore tendons in Taz’s arm. That’s quite an arm strike. Taz gets a nice pop. Why do they keep saying that this was the main event of Barely Legal? It wasn’t as far as I remember. Also, from ECW, I still have never heard WHY THEY HATE EACH OTHER.

Would that be so hard to freaking tell me? Yes I know why from other research, but you would think they could TELL ME THAT OR SOMETHING. It’s so strange thinking that Taz is such an imbecile on commentary now. Taz talks before the match again and says we should make it falls count anywhere and then says his catchphrase because we have to have that right.

We hear Sabu talk which is something you rarely hear if ever. I think other than on DVDs I’ve heard it once? They actually start with a wrestling sequence if you can believe that. We hit about our 20th F Bomb tonight. Sure why not. Sick boot to the head of Sabu. Here’s your required brawling for the main event as we hit the crowd. The beauty of crowd brawling for them at least is they get to go out and do very little at all but still make it look like they’re doing a lot.

Ok not really but you would think otherwise. We’re on the ramp now and that gets us nowhere. This is just spot after spot with little flow or thought to them at all. Hey we’re in the ring! What do you know about that? It’s table time of course and Sabu goes through it. Taz calls out Hogan and Flair. That’s just amusing. This is ALL Taz.

Fonzie tries to throw in the towel but Sabu says no. This is just Sabu getting beaten up, so therefore it’s becoming totally awesome! He makes a short comeback and Taz gets his foot on the ropes. So what if it’s FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE? Even the fans yell at that. And there’s the Tazmission and Sabu is out. Handshake ends the show.

Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty weak. It was just one guy beating the heck out of the other with one guy refusing to quit the entire time, then a short comeback and the ending is a guy that put on a stunt show not actually giving up because he’s out cold. Even after all that, I hope that Sabu and Taz Have A Nice Day If You Smell What I’m Cooking.

Overall Rating: D. This is more or less a one match show as Lynn and Van Dam had a good match but other than that, this felt thrown together and like it was about 1/3 filler. Not a lot made sense and they even screwed up the one good match they had with a stupid ending. I think the problem here is that you have no one legit to challenge Taz other than Van Dam and Heyman simply would not give him the push.

Awesome and Tanaka were both gone and Sid was too big of a deal to put against Taz I guess, so we get matches that aren’t that interesting like this which is ok but we’ve seen it SO many times that it’s just boring. The show is watchable I suppose, but I wanted it to end about an hour and a half before it did. If this was cut to about 2 hours instead of three, it’s FAR better. Check out the TV Title match if you want but it’s not required viewing.

First ECW on TNN
Date: August 27, 1999
Commentator: Joey Styles

From the title I think you get the idea here. This show is weird as it’s a lot like the old WWF TV shows as it’s a collection of previously aired matches thrown together here. The first show they taped was awful so they turned it into this. The main thing is Lynn vs. Van Dam from Hardcore Heaven 99 which I’ll re-review and see how it matches up with the original rating I gave it, which is something I don’t think I’ve done before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the Dudleys (who would leave for WWF in like a week) powerbombing someone through a flaming table as Joey says this isn’t WCW or WWF but ECW.

Cue theme song. The main focus is Tazz who would leave in like 2-3 months and everyone knew that was going to happen.

Joey lists off a bunch of people to have held the TV Title but says RVD might be better than all of them.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

I think this is new commentary here but I’m not sure. This is really just a way to introduce Van Dam and give us what they know is an exciting match. You can’t hear a word the ring announcer is saying. They start with a nice sequence where neither can get any real advantage but the fans love it. We actually get highlights of both guys in the middle of the match. I get that you want to showcase two of your top guys but dude, do it when there’s not a match on.

Van Dam gets knocked to the floor and Lynn takes over. Lynn gets a top rope bulldog for two. RVD is bleeding from…..something. I think at this point we go to a commercial as we get an ad for Anarchy Rulz. Joey suggests the Warrior could be coming to ECW. Oh dear. Yeah the commentary here is new. Lynn is bleeding too now after botching a fall to the floor and hitting his foot on the ropes. The replay has a rap song with it. Really?

Lynn gets a sunset powerbomb for two. What would an ECW match be without tables? Van Dam’s eye is messed up and black as coal. Van Daminator in the stands as this match is kind of hard to follow. Another commercial doesn’t help as they don’t stop the match for it, which is either a good idea or a bad idea and I’m not sure which. Lynn gets another sunset powerbomb through the table on the floor.

CUE THE RAP SONG REPLAY! After a clip or a commercial, Fonzie takes a chair pelted at his head. Lynn goes for a top rope belly to belly but he just falls off. You know the chant we get from that. Cradle Piledriver is blocked and both guys are down. Split Legged Moonsault hits Lynn. PAY ATTENTION MORRISON. THAT IS HOW YOU DO THE FREAKING MOVE. And there’s the Five Star out of more or less nowhere but Lynn rolls through for two. Van Daminator and a HUGE Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. The clipping hurts this a lot. It makes this look like far less of an ultra competitive match and more like RVD just breaking a sweat. It’s still good but at the same time it really makes Lynn look weak. At the same time though this was about RVD and that worked very well. This was still good but a different kind of good. I gave the PPV version a B as I still find these matches to be overrated by most ECW fans.

We plug Rollerjam (which as a kid I thought was a cool show. The women were hot if nothing else) and then talk about the ECW World Title, listing off guys that didn’t win it but tried to, such as Konnan, Benoit, Austin and Foley. I’m not entirely sold on talking about guys that USED to be here, but you could look at it like this: We had these guys before they were superstars. Imagine what kind of buried treasures we have here now. That makes sense.

Shane threw down the NWA Title, which meant nothing to most fans watching this show but whatever. That was 5 years before the debut of the TV show. Didn’t know that.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Rhyno

This is from Hardcore TV or a house show. Rhyno hits a powerbomb 3 seconds in and Taz just pops up. Rhyno means nothing at this point which you can probably guess. Well we’re in Chicago if nothing else. Taz is massacring him here with Rhyno looking like a  jobber. He’s hit two punches to the ribs and a no sold powerbomb. Tazz sets up a table and Rhyno hits new levels of offense with THREE punches to the ribs. Suplex through the table sets up the Tazmission. Total squash if there ever has been one.

Rating: N/A. This was DOMINANCE which is the idea I guess, but Rhyno looks like a freaking joke here. The problem is that these matches are just random defenses with no meaning to them. We keep hearing about Steve Corino and how he’s Taz’s archenemy, but we never even see him.

Video on Sabu who is apparently awesome. No match or anything but just highlights.

Ad for Anarchy Rulz again.

Spike Dudley vs. Big Sal

Low blow and Acid Drop end it. Literally that’s the whole thing. Who is Spike? Who is Sal? “Spike has done it again!” What does he do? Apparently that’s not important. Ah ok they call him the Giant Killer.

The Impact Players introduce themselves and we have no idea if they mean anything or not. Cyrus pops up for no apparent reason as Jason makes gay jokes about Joey. We see clips of the Impact Players beating people up which helps a bit as we know they’re dominant.

House show ads.

We get a BUNCH of clips of guys and a brief description (as in their nickname) of them. It’s set to a Kid Rock song so what do you expect here?

Taz talks about how TNN and ECW are together now and how cool that is I guess. We get clips of famous people he’s made tap out. He talks for like three minutes and that ends this mess.

Overall Rating: D. This was a total mess. Considering this is the first show, this was just awful as you learn nothing about the guys other than Taz being a tough guy and RVD is awesome. Other than that though you get nothing at all here though and other than a single good match to start, this gave us nothing. We have no idea about any feuds or angles or anything like that as it was just a few squashes and one big match from months earlier. This just didn’t work as Heyman clearly didn’t know what he was doing, which became a theme here. Bad show and just a car wreck of an hour.

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the last show before Destination X and we have a final push towards the PPV with another triple threat to determine who goes to the four way at the PPV.  There are only 5 matches by my math (Kaz vs. Joe, AJ vs. Daniels, RVD vs. Lynn, the four way and Abyss vs. Kendrick) and we’ve heard of an Ultimate X match but no one has been named.  Maybe that’ll be the contract match?  We should find out tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show and Angle making the save for Sting, perhaps joining him in the war with Immortal.

Ray, Gunner and Steiner are in the ring to open the show and Ray calls out Anderson.  Here’s Anderson and he does his usual intro.  Ray makes fun of it and threatens Anderson with a Steiner beating if he doesn’t shut his mouth.  Ray says tonight Anderson is going to join Immortal for his own good because Sting has been nuts lately.  The Bully says they need each other and joining Immortal will make everyone happy.
Steiner says it’s time for him to screw some people and tells Anderson he’s either with them or against them.  He has to decide tonight or he’ll deal with Steiner.  Gunner says tonight it’s all of Immortal vs. Sting and Angle.  Anderson has until the end of the match to decide.  Gunner says hit their music but Sting’s comes on instead.  The lights go out but a spotlight shows Sting in the rafters.  They come back up and Angle is in the ring.  He clears out Immortal and tells Anderson not to make a decision that makes things hard on himself.

Storm asks Roode if his arm is ok.  Roode says not really but he needs to get the points in the Series.  He gets Crimson so things don’t look great for him.

Bound For Glory Standings:

Crimson 24

Gunner 21

Matt Morgan 14

AJ Styles 14

James Storm 14

Rob Van Dam 14

Bully Ray 14

D-Von 14

Scott Steiner 7

D’Angelo Dinero 0

Bobby Roode 0

Samoa Joe 0

Bound For Glory Series: Bobby Roode vs. Crimson

Roode hammers away to start with some shoulders in the corner and a Hennig neck snap for two.  Crimson takes over with his power stuff and grabs the cravate which he turns into a swinging neckbreaker for two.  Crimson starts snapping off some suplexes but Roode goes up and hits his Blockbuster.  The shoulder gives out though and he can’t capitalize.  Crimson shows some intelligence by kicking him in the arm.  He hits the ropes and walks into the Roode spinebuster for two.  Roode grabs a Fujiwara armbar but Crimson makes the rope.  Slingshot shoulder block takes Roode down and the Red Sky ends this at 4:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here as I’m kind of surprised Roode keeps falling like he does.  The shoulder injury is fine for a reason for him not being his usual self though.  Crimson stays undefeated which really makes me wonder where they’re going with this series, especially since the top four advance to No Surrender for the #1 contender match.  Should be interesting.  This was fine.

Tony Nees says he wants to compete against the best and will do so in the three way tonight.

Abyss is still looking for his mask.  We cut to Kendrick who is wearing it.

Jack Evans wants the contract.  He can do flips really well.

Here’s Kendrick in the ring with the mask in hand.  He says he’ll give it back and doesn’t want violence.  What he wants is a word and he’ll share his thoughts on those if Abyss will come out here.  Kendrick talks about various religions and philosophies and their takes on things.  He asks what that has to do with wrestling.  Apparently he’s trying to restore the X-Division and says Abyss can help him do that.

His ego is holding him back though and Abyss can give up his pain this Sunday.  Kendrick’s mission is to defeat him though and he gives Abyss his mask back.  Abyss drills him and beats the tar out of him on the floor.  Back in the ring Kendrick gets in some shots but Abyss shrugs them off.  Shock Treatment hits as does the Black Hole Slam.

Jesse Sorensen says it’s time for the new guys to rise up in the X-Division.  Guys like him of course.

Tony Nees vs. Jesse Sorensen vs. Jack Evans

Evans does a standing moonsault on the stage and break dances in the ring.  Big chant for Evans and we get a three way test of strength to start.  It follows the same formula as the other matches have so far, with two guys staying in the ring while a third is down on the floor.  Sorensen hits a big flip dive to the floor to take out Nees but Evans hits a bigger one off the top rope, hitting a 450 to take out both guys.

Nees gets a running knee to Evans for two as Jesse saves.  Sorensen gets a modified Overdrive to Evans for two so it’s Sorensen vs. Nees for a bit.  German gets two for Nees as Evans hits a standing moonsault to break it up.  Sorensen gets sent to the floor by Evans and Nees gets dropped off the top.  Evans hits a 630 to pin Nees at 5:37.

Rating: C. Just your usual match here with three guys flying everywhere.  It’s fun but we’re seen the same match most of the last four weeks.  That 630 was nice but Evans has a tendency to do a lot of flips when they’re really not necessary.  Take the standing moonsault to break up the pin for example.  From a psychology standpoint, why set for a big flip when the extra time could cost you the match?  Anyway, fun match but we’ve seen it a lot lately.

The Brits say Mexican America is doing what the Brits did a few years ago.  Douglas Williams issues an open challenge for Sunday.

Shannon Moore, Robbie E, Amazing Red and Alex Shelley are in Ultimate X.

Velvet says she’s going to get rid of Jackie and ODB.  We can only hope.

Angle is walking into a locker room and Sting is laying on top of the lockers, singing modified versions of Rocky songs.  Angle says we have to get through tonight and Sting goes a bit nuttier.  He says this is all to get to Hogan.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB/Jackie

If Velvet wins, the two annoying girls leave TNA, despite technically not being in it right now.  Velvet comes in through the crowd with a chair and takes out Jackie with a shot to the back.  She and ODB start us off and Velvet is dominating.  Jackie gets back in and the numbers start catching up with Velvet.  We finally get down to regular tagging and never mind that as we’re back to the two on one at once.  ODB tries to bring the chair back in but hits Jackie by mistake.  A DDT by Velvet pins Jackie at 5:00.

Rating: D. The only good thing here was that ODB and Jackie are allegedly out of TNA now.  The match wasn’t anything more than an ending to this story (I hope) and other than that it was just bad.  Velvet isn’t that great in the ring and on her own she’s not capable of much physically other than looking good.  Bad match.

ODB shouts that Velvet hasn’t gotten rid of her yet.

D-Von tells Pope not to screw him over tonight.

Daniels talks about how AJ has had a better career in TNA than he’s had and that he’s been lost in the shuffle since coming back.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

They have to tag in and out here and it’s Lynn vs. Daniels to start us off.  Lynn speeds up a headscissors and AJ tags himself in.  They exchange arm drags and then both try it at the same time, resulting in a stalemate.  The fans can’t decide if they like RVD or Lynn.  Jerry wants RVD and here they are.  They exchange a lot of counters with very little contact being made.

Off to RVD vs. Daniels and RVD kind of messes up Rolling Thunder, landing on his neck instead of his back.  Daniels gets sent to the floor and it’s AJ vs. RVD for a bit.  A very short bit as AJ knocks RVD into the corner which is classified as a tag to Lynn.  Jerry hits an enziguri to put AJ in the corner, followed by a hurricanrana.  Daniels comes in off an iffy tag.

Boot to the chest of Lynn gets two and everything starts breaking down.  Springboard forearm by AJ sends Van Dam to the floor.  Lynn sends AJ to the floor and a releases Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME.  Rob tags himself in as Lynn hits something like an Celtic Cross (Finlay’s old move) on Daniels.  Rob fires off the Five Star on Daniels for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: B-. Good match but not the classic they were hyping it up to be.  Granted this Sunday is the main thing they were building to so this wasn’t supposed to be the big match.  Van Dam needed a win as he’s kind of fallen off the charts the last few months.  Nothing great here but fine for a mostly big TV match to hype a PPV.

Eric Young says to the victor go the spoils because he’s apparently gotten a trailer somehow.  He’s a TV star now and is going to Hollywood to defend the title.

Bound For Glory Series: Matt Morgan/James Storm vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Only one person gets points, kind of defeating the point of the team aspect.  Pope gives his glasses to D-Von’s kid which D-Von isn’t thrilled with.  D-Von and Storm start us off.  That doesn’t go much of anywhere so it’s off to Morgan who runs over D-Von.  Pope plays cheerleader and shouts encouragement.  Morgan sets for the elbows but Storm tags himself in.

Pope finally gets in so he can hammer on Storm a bit.  Storm fires back and Pope falls out of the ring, tagging D-Von as he goes.  Back to Morgan who gets to hit his elbows now.  There’s a side slam for two.  Back to Storm as D-Von is in trouble.  Pope gets back in and has a bit better luck this time, taking Storm down and Morgan as well.

Storm gets a Backstabber for two as Morgan (Storm’s partner mind you) makes the save.  D-Von and Morgan go to the floor with Morgan possibly hurting his knee.  Storm and Pope ram heads and Pope is outside too.  He gets Storm’s title belt and clocks him with it…then tags D-Von in so he can get the points at 6:00.  The plot thickens I guess.

Rating: C-. The aspects of tagging and teaming more or less meant nothing here as the partners were fighting each other and only one person got points in the match.  As a match in the series, this was ok but as a tag match it was pretty weak.  The Pope/D-Von stuff is kind of interesting though.

Anderson is mad.

The Jarretts say Jeff is now King of Mexico and they’ll be back next week with a big fiesta.

We run down the card for the PPV.  The Ultimate X match is #1 contender for the X-Division Title.

Hogan is punching Sting out in the back and Sting says that’s the Eye of the Tiger.  Hogan picks up the bat and Sting says aw crap.  He hits Sting in the face with it and Sting is out.  Hogan says he told Sting he’d never embarrass Hogan again.

Kurt Angle/Sting vs. Immortal

It’s Abyss, Steiner, Ray and Gunner.  And there’s no Sting so this is a handicap match.

Kurt Angle vs. Immortal

Steiner starts with Kurt and doesn’t do that well, taking a belly to belly for two.  Off to Ray who talks trash about Mexico, hitting a neckbreaker for two.  Bubba Bomb doesn’t work so Kurt snaps off a German.  Here’s Gunner who Angle runs through as well.  Let’s try Abyss and Angle is 4-0 as he gets an ankle lock.  Ray breaks it up and here comes Abyss.  Scott comes in to beat Angle down as Immortal takes over.

Gunner in now for some basic stuff before bringing Abyss back in.  Back to Ray quickly and he has the chain.  Here comes Anderson though and the distraction lets Angle get an Angle Slam to Ray.  Anderson gets in the corner as Kurt’s partner and takes a tag.  Anderson beats on Immortal and basically cleans house.  Mic Cehck is loaded up on Ray but he hits Angle with it instead.  Anderson “tags” Kurt back in and Ray pins him at 6:00.

Rating: C. Hard to call this anything but in the middle.  Angle dominated for awhile and then the numbers caught up with him as you would expect them to.  Anderson at the end doesn’t make much sense but I think that was supposed to be the point, at least until the end.  It was more about the ending than anything else though, which is fine.

Anderson joins Immortal post match and Hogan comes out to cheer.

Overall Rating: C. Still good but a step behind what they did for the last two weeks.  Destination X is going to be their best built PPV in a very long time and will probably be quite good, but I’m very interested in what comes after that.  Something tells me it’ll be more Immortal vs. everyone and that hasn’t been incredibly interesting stuff.  The non X-Division stuff was pretty boring overall and the matches were ok but not blow away great.  Anyway, not bad at all but a step behind what they’ve been doing lately.

Results

Crimson b. Bobby Roode – Red Sky

Jack Evans b. Jesse Sorensen and Tony Nees – 630 Splash to Nees

Velvet Sky b. Jackie and ODB – DDT to Jackie

Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels, AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn – Five Star Frog Splash to Daniels

D’Angelo Dinero/D-Von b. Matt Morgan/James Storm – D-Von pinned Storm after a shot with a title belt

Immortal b. Kurt Angle – Ray pinned Angle after a Mic Check from Mr. Anderson

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

So this is the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi which I found online out of boredom. Since I’m getting dangerously close to the end of the ECW PPVs, I figured I’d do the first and last shows of ECW on Sci-Fi and TNN just for the heck of it. This show is considered a miserable failure so let’s find out why. The main event is a battle royal to determine who fights Cena at Vengeance. ECW came back officially two days before this so it’s brand new and this is the big debut. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the second One Night Stand which was where the If Cena Wins We Riot sign debuted. Cena says he’ll be on ECW tonight, thereby killing ECW on its opening night. This was supposed to be the real ECW but you could tell that was never going to happen a few seconds after it debuted.

Heyman opens us up here and brings out RVD. They even have the hole in the brick wall entryway. RVD is WWE Champion here, having won it two nights ago. His voice reminds me of a less depressed Vin Diesel for some reason. They keep saying he’s the champion without saying WWE. Heyman declares him the ECW World Champion. Taz says no one knows what RVD is feeling. I think that should say no one knows why RVD never won the title in the original ECW. He says he’s just going to defend both titles. Van Dam wants the other one because it spins.

And here’s the #1 contender: Edge. Edge is ok because he could have made it in the original ECW I think. He cost Cena the title at Vengeance so he’s WAY over. Edge spears him after complimenting him. He goes through the crowd and Cena is behind him. RVD and Cena fight over who gets to beat up Edge. This of course allows Edge to escape. And remember, this is ECW. Pay no attention to the argument going on over the WWE Title with WWE guys.

After a house show ad, Heyman gives a speech to the locker room and says they’re invading Raw on Monday. You know it might work better if you didn’t say it on national TV.

The Zombie vs. The Sandman

And this right here is where ECW died completely. Since they could only get on Sci-Fi, they tried to get more sci-fi stuff on the show, hence this. And cue Sandman to not Metallica. Styles and Taz don’t even try to take this seriously. This is like a bad indy show joke or something. Sandman canes the tar out of him to a great pop and the White Russian Leg Sweep ends this in like 10 seconds. Dust flew off of Zombie. No rating obviously.

Kelly is an exhibitionist and wants to take off all of her clothes.

DX is coming back. On ECW. Shoot me. Better yet shoot Heyman as he doesn’t deserve this.

We see the whole Taz destroying King match from the PPV two days ago. It’s a 30 second squash but we see the whole thing, including intros.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch. Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out everything he had planned and we’re having an extreme battle royal for the shot against Cena at Vengeance.

Read the Rise and Fall of ECW.

An unnamed character (Kevin Thorn) looks up at the ECW sign as Joey and Tazz say he couldn’t be what they think he is (vampire).

Kelly comes out to strip for us. She only has one name so far. She gets down to her underwear and unhooks her bra and puts her hands over her chest and leaves. Was there a point to that at all?

Extreme Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Big Guido, Little Guido, Stevie Richards, Big Show, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Al Snow, Tony Mamaluke, Balls Mahoney

So despite Heyman saying 10 there are 11. Sure why not. The weapons are all on the floor which completely goes against the logic of a battle royal. Balls has a bad cover of AC/DC. Show has hair here. That’s not something I’m used to. Wait didn’t he get his head shaved before this? Everyone runs from Show and it’s almost impossible to keep track of who is eliminated and who is just running. Roadkill takes a fallaway slam and we go to a break. No one has been eliminated since they all went through the ropes. We get some token weapons shots and I want this to end.

Taz tries to play this off as being more extreme than anything else and I feel sorry for him. Sabu sets up a table. Everyone jumps Show and it does nothing at all. Show puts out Snow. And Doring. Uh Richards too. Might as well say Roadkill too. Balls Mahoney is number five. This is all in a row so I’m not skipping anything. Dreamer goes after Show with something made of metal and of course it does jack. He goes through a table on the floor. It’s Show, the FBI and Sabu. Show puts all three of the non-fake Arabians out in about 45 seconds and then Sabu hits him while he’s on the ropes to win it.

Rating: F. Oh sweet mama this was bad. Show literally eliminated everyone other than Sabu in less than 4 minutes. There’s domination and then there’s this. One of the worst battle royals ever to fittingly close out one of the worst hours ever.

Overall Rating: G. This is one of those weird shows that actually goes beyond failing and blazes new territory. Other than the main event if you want to call it that, the longest match was less than 100 seconds long. One match had a zombie and one was from a PPV so it wasn’t even new. They had no freaking clue what they were doing with this and it showed badly. They more or less redid the whole thing the next week when this bombed so terribly. Not even worth it for the historical value. Terrible show.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s likely another show building towards Destination X here which means we’ll probably get another triple threat with guys brought in.  That’s a cool idea as it lets you see guys you usually wouldn’t see having some pretty fun matches.  Other than that, probably some more stuff about the Bound For Glory Series, which is still a long way off from the final goal.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s two big moments in the form of the Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and Sting going all psycho on Hogan.

And here’s Jarrett again who wants to be part of the Bound For Glory Series (which he says hasn’t started yet for some reason).  Eric says no because of the Network and says Jarrett needs to go to Mexico.  Actually this past Saturday he won the AAA World Title so this fits rather well.  Eric says Jeff needs to lead the Immortal takeover of Mexico.  Wonder how long Jeff will be gone.

Here’s Eric in the arena and he wants to talk to Sting.  Here’s the Scorpion enthusiast himself.  Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Eric yells at Sting a lot and then Sting goes into an almost Doink voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings and cursed at him.  Sting is playing up the psycho side here, saying he’s going to snap Eric’s neck.  He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen because it’ll always be Hogan and Bischoff.  Sting is going to have to change because of Bischoff though.  He may have a rematch on the 14^th but Eric can change that.  Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and on the line is….nothing apparently.  Sting goes back into his Jim Carrey voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has a price to pay.  Sting hits him in the corner and more or less struts around the ring.  Death Drop leaves Bischoff laying.  He gets the makeup treatment and the Scorpion as we go to a break with the hold still on.

Apparently there have been some BFG Series matches on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ clean.  Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray

This has the potential to be pretty cool or a trainwreck.  This is your big slugout that you would expect here.  Ray controls to start but misses a splash in the corner.  Steiner takes over with some solid shots and hits the pushups after the elbow.  Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again and three covers off a right hand.  Ray rams in the forearm smashes in a crossface style and loads up the Bubba Bomb.  Steiner escapes the full nelson though to a big face chant.

Steiner comes back with the suplexes and there goes the referee.  Overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and it’s time for the Recliner.  No referee though, even though it’s that horrid submission of his.  At least pull back on the thing Scott.  Ray taps but there’s no referee.  Scott goes to check on him instead of keeping the hold on until he gets back, allowing Ray to find a chain to hit Steiner in the throat with a chain for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Not bad at all for a big man brawl here for the most part.  These two would be infinitely more entertaining in a promo than a match but this wasn’t that bad.  Scott was more or less the face by default here and the match wasn’t that bad at all.  Granted I had low expectations coming in for it but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to take care of Sting when Anderson comes in.  Anderson gets yelled at for not helping Bischoff and Eric says he won the title for Sting for him.  Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack.  Eric yells at Anderson and says come over to Immortal and Anderson stands there.  Eric says think about it and isn’t happy at all.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back.

Zema Ion, more commonly known as Shiima Xion of various indy companies, is in an X Division Showcase match tonight.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB

Velvet says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract or something.  Ok apparently it is no holds barred.  They start in the aisle and it’s a big brawl.  Apparently this is before the bell.  Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break before a bell rings.

Back and I guess the bell rang during the break.  Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but Miss manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there.  ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag.  Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down.  The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs for the pin at 3:50 shown.

Rating: D. The Knockouts division is so horrible anymore and the talent just isn’t working most of the time.  Jackie is completely worthless and I’ve yet to see anyone that actually cares about her in the slightest.  ODB isn’t much better and while Velvet and Tessmacher look great, they’re better suited as being there looking hot rather than being in the ring.  Not much here at all in another sloppy mess of a match.

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight.  He’s more known as Azrieal.

Tara has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to yell at her.  Madison gets rammed into the wall and Tara tells her to never touch her again.

Roode still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series.

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around.  He’s freaking again.  Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing.  Ray offers Steiner a spot in Immortal.  Steiner throws the chain again and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money

Roode vs. Crimson start us off and I guess Roode’s arm is fine now.  He hits the Hennig neck snap but Crimson runs him down with ease.  Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in.  Off to Morgan who can’t hit the elbows in the corner.  Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combine for two for Storm.  Discus lariat gets two for Morgan, setting up the elbows in the corner and the tag off to Crimson.

Next week it’s AJ vs. Gunner.  Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to bring in Roode.  Morgan is in also and the shoulder looks better.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after the leg.  Forearm puts Morgan down but he jumps into a chokeslam attempt.  Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex puts the red guy down and there’s the shout.  For once though they get caught, in this instance by a double clothesline from Morgan.  Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again.  Storm gets tossed to the floor by Roode onto Crimson but walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 6:15.  I think only Morgan gets the points but it’s not really clear.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here with the champs being messed up because of Roode’s arm injury.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with the arm injury and if they’re going to drop the titles because of it.  I liked this though and I wish they’d get Beer Money out there more, but only once Roode is healthy.

Yeah only Morgan gets points.

Abyss says he follows Sun-Tzu and Bischoff.  Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’ll do.

Eric Young is looking for another TV Star, apparently Popeye.

Here’s AJ to talk about Destination X.  He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV.  AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots.  He lists off some of the great X guys over the years….and here’s Joe.  He says that AJ was the pioneer but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got here.  AJ is the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls.  Since there needs to be the third guy to make this complete, here’s Daniels to the Fourtune music.  Daniels suggests AJ vs. himself and it’s accepted.  No Joe?  Apparently not.

Kaz isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did.  Daniels leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune.  Kaz says stay out of it and gets beaten up.  Joe drilling him and walking away is great.

Dakota Darsow, the last guy in the X match, is the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man.

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion

Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what color.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a wrestling match.  Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two.  More fast paced stuff here but less high flying than last week.  Just as I say that Ion hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the floor.  Palacios is very fast.  Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios hits a huge suicide dive onto Darsow and Zema mosly misses a corkscrew plancha, mostly landing on the head of Palacios with his feet.  That looked sick.  Back in the ring Darsow hits a moonsault but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up.  Superplex is broken up and Darsow kicks Ion on the top.  Zema knocks him off the top and a 450 ends this at 4:42.

Rating: C+. Not as good as last week as some of the botches hurt it, but still a pretty good match.  The 450 was pretty awesome to end it, but I’d like to know some more about these guys rather than just saying they’re awesome and X-Division guys.  Not bad and more or less what the X-Division is supposed to be: insane stuff with flips and dives to fire up the crowd.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV and Jerry Lynn comes in.  Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves.

Winter vs. Mickie James

This is a street fight and it already was going on in the back when we came back from a break.  Winter is dominating and whips Mickie with a leather belt.  They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from her.  Thesz Press off part of the set takes over for Micke and they roll down the ramp.  Mickie hits a rana on the floor and Winter is in trouble.  Into the ring and Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her backbreaker.  It’s behind the referee’s back but it’s a street fight so it’s not like it would have mattered anyway.  That gets the pin at 4:40 shown.  Angelina is smiling post match.

Rating: C-. Just another brawl with the Knockouts that is probably going to set up a title match later.  That’s fine and good, but what was the point in this being a street fight?  Shouldn’t the regular match set up the gimmick match?  Anyway, nothing of note here and two street fights with Knockouts in a night is too much for my taste.  Better than the first one by about a mile though.

Abyss vs. Sting

Non-title of course here.  This actually gets big match intros but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro.  Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight.  They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.  He throws on an armbar which is kind of a weird choice but it doesn’t last long enough to think about it.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two.  Abyss picks up the Art of War book and hits Sting with it for a not DQ.  And there’s a barbed wire glove.  Sting avoids it for a bit and hits the Splash in the corner.  Death Drop hits for two.  Sting gets the glove and pops Abyss in the head with it to draw blood for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Fine for a quick main event here that tied into the opening of the show and played into Sting’s crazy stuff.  Not a horrible match or anything but just kind of there.  The ending is fine as Sting going insane is better than an actual ending in a match that Sting doesn’t really need to win.  This was fine.

Post match Sting hits Abyss like 5 times as Anderson comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Wow I must be running a fever.  First and foremost here: the pacing was the best it’s been here in forever.  There were no 20-30 minute stretches with nothing but talking.  It helps a lot to have a match to break the boredom, even if it’s just something quick and relatively pointless.  That’s one of Impact’s biggest issues and it’s very refreshing to see it not happen for once.  Destination X was built up pretty well and the show wasn’t boring for the most part.  I liked this quite well and dare I say it, best wrestling show so far this week.

Results

Bully Ray b. Scott Steiner – Ray pinned Steiner after a chain shot to the throat

Jackie/ODB b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Jackie pinned Sky after a low blow

Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Beer Money – Carbon Footprint to Roode

Zema Ion b. Dakota Darsow and Federico Palacios – 450 Splash to Darsow

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after a backbreaker from Angelina Love

Abyss b. Sting via DQ when Sting hit Abyss with a barbed wire glove

Hardcore Justice
Date: August 8, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

This is the second return to PPV for ECW as they try to squeeze the final drop of blood out of the stone that was ECW. I really am not looking forward to this as it was built around two matches and one of those was canceled. It’s RVD vs. Sabu tonight which needs to stay under 8 minutes or so. Other than that we know a lot of names and that’s about it. Let’s get to it.

Tazz is here and says this is going to be EXTREME and that this is going to be awesome no matter what people say. Yeah I’m sure.

FBI vs. Kid Kash/Simon Diamond/Swinger

It’s Tony, Tracy and Guido. Yeah because Kash was SO important to ECW. Sal is somehow even fatter if that’s possible. Smothers looks AWFUL. It’s Tony Luke now instead of Mamaluke. Guido looks about the same. The lights are all dark and there’s this weird blue tint to it. Guido and Kash start us off. They point out that they can’t say certain names or letters. WOW.

Simon is HUGE and even Tazz suggests different attire. He stops halfway through the match and cuts a promo to which he gets a LOUD Shut the F Up chant. He challenges them to a dance off. It’s somehow worse than it sounds. The non-FBI team breaks it up but Sal crushes them. Kash does a big dive to do something. Keep in mind we’re 20 minutes into this.

We get to a normal match now and it’s not bad. Seriously, we would have had to pay 45 dollars for this. Mamaluke is getting destroyed here and Diamond does something close to Three Amigos. Guido hits the Kiss of Death (Killswitch) to end it.

Rating: D. Once this got going it wasn’t bad but ten minutes of crap to get to the good stuff isn’t how this is supposed to go. This didn’t work at all for me though as three of these guys meant next to nothing at all in the original ECW. This was watchable I guess but the lighting and the other stuff just isn’t doing it so far.

The announcers talk about Sabu being in the main event.

We have a Where Are They Now series tonight. That’s not a good sign.

Tod Gordon says goodbye. He’s fat.

Pitbull #1 says hi.

Blue Meanie is on a TNA PPV. Literally that’s all they’re saying.

They do their intros and then they come back. Pitbull says show them hardcore. Meanie says thank you. None of them are here or anything.

AJ liked ECW.

Love liked ECW but only saw the end.

Snow yells at Head for possibly causing legal issues with the show. Richards comes in and this is his night apparently. Nova (Simon Dean) shows up in his BWO apparel. He talks about getting the band back together and this is painful to watch. A fake Blue Meanie comes in and we’re told that it doesn’t matter if it’s not really him. Good night.

Hey look it’s a match.

CW Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

You know, because these two have SUCH a history together. They keep calling it the original era because they can’t say ECW, even though they do anyway. Oh this is wrestling. Just to be clear I guess. Amazingly enough, there’s next to nothing to talk about here. Scorpio was great in his time, but he was old in 99 and he’s very old now. This is kind of back and forth and really isn’t bad for the most part. Spinebuster gets two and the Tumbleweed ends it.

Rating: C-. This was actually ok. They had a nice back and forth thing going here with a solid clash of styles going. I liked Anderson to an extent and I always liked Scorpio so this worked well for me. Somehow I have a feeling this is going to be the best match of the night. This wasn’t bad at all though and has me in a better mood.

Madison liked ECW too.

Matt Morgan got to go to a bar where ECW guys came to. They have to call it the Philadelphia promotion. This is sad.

Anderson says ECW was doing other stuff.

RVD and Fonzie say they wish they had a chance to fight Lynn again. RVD wants a replacement and picks Sabu. Fonzie says he’ll call it right down the middle.

PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.

The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.

And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.

Francine and her daughter are at home. She looks bad. Like really bad. She was hot back in the day and now this.

They pay tribute to the people that have died with a graphic and nothing more. No names, no faces, no anything.

Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Runt is Spike Dudley of course and is nearly bald. This is elimination rules and better not break 8 minutes. Spike hits a dive that is ok after some basic stuff. He plays the role of the pinball of course and I still wonder what Snow has to do with this. Snow hits the trapping headbutts on Rhyno. TNA guys are watching in the back. Why they’re here is beyond me because they’re not wrestling.

Acid Drop to Rhyno is blocked and this needs to end fast. We’re on the floor again and you actually can’t see due to the lighting. The referee goes down and Head drills Rhyno. Spike does the Eddie chair thing by slamming the mat with it and throwing it to Rhyno. He and Snow do the same thing so they’re all down. Oh my head hurts. Acid Drop ends Snow and then the Gore ends the whole thing.

Rating: D. I like Snow but this was just bad. There’s a reason these guys retired: THEY AREN’T THAT GOOD ANYMORE. Rhyno is ok at best and he’s the biggest star by far in this. At least he won I suppose, but this was just random with no point at all. Well at least it’s over and wasn’t that long.

Foley is reading Hogan’s book and likes being the ref.

More guys talk about the company, including Sabin and Magnus.

Cajones/Axl Rotter vs. ???/???

Cajones is of course Balls Mahoney. He issues an open challenge and it’s JOEL GERTNER. Ok this is at least an improvement. I think I smell Team 3D. Yep I’m right and they’re in tye-dye. Thankfully Joel does a poem which is funny. He looks…bad. Like even worse than before. It’s a South Philadelphia Street Fight in Orlando according to Ray.

They go split screen here for the sake of torturing us even better. Ray shouts at him and calls him Balls because that’s ok I guess. We go into the crowd for fun. This is “hardcore” I guess with mainly just punching and random shots with weak weapons. We bring in some more traditional weapons back in the ring. The announcers are of course cracking up over everything here instead of selling it like a hardcore match.

Frying pan to the head of Balls. And Mahoney breaks out a toy lightsaber. And so does Bubba. I hate this show. I truly do. Axl botches a reverse DDT on Bubba and Nutcracker Suite to D-Von gets two. The fans want flaming tables. They get a chair duel instead. The referee tries a double clothesline on the team that isn’t the Dudleys. It fails, much like this match.

The Dudleys bring in a table and Gertner has lighter fluid. Balls goes through it, ending this mess.

Rating: D-. Flaming table is all that keeps this from failing. This whole show is a freaking joke and that’s being kind.

Team 3D says they’re the best in the world and cue The Gangstas. They beat the tar out of each other and then hug.

Raven talks about his past with Dreamer where they were kids together and Dreamer was a jock. Raven slept with a girl Tommy liked and then the girl left Raven for Dreamer. That was Beaulah in case you don’t know that somehow.

Jesse Neal liked the little that he saw of ECW.

Kaz wanted to be in ECW.

Joey Styles should be here but isn’t. Everyone talks about him. This is so stupid. They make it sound like he’s dead.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

For no apparent reason, Foley is the referee. Beaulah is here and is still hot. The fans chant Uncle Scotty to complete this joke. They do the drop toehold spot and Dreamer gets beaten up in front of his kids. Dreamer might be the first guy to bleed tonight. It’s your usual stuff here with the beatdown that isn’t that great but the history makes it watchable. Raven is busted.

The signs are brought in as is the ladder. They do some decent stuff with that for two for Raven. Dreamer Driver gets no cover. We finally get to the barbed wire which is wrapped around Raven’s face. He taps but the BWO runs in to make sure it doesn’t count. This needs a Sandman run-in. Down goes Foley for no apparent reason. Raven Effect gets two. Or is it the Even Flow? Whatever.

Foley and Socko, which they can’t say, takes down Raven and that guy from earlier that we couldn’t recognize in the Blue Meanie skit runs down with a top rope leg drop for Dreamer. Allegedly his name is Lupus? Mandible Claw with wire to Raven of course doesn’t put him down and he cuffs Dreamer.

Beaulah comes in to stop the Rock/Foley ending in the Last Man Standing match which doesn’t work. Dreamer manages to DDT Raven while cuffed behind his back for two. Raven hits Dreamer in the knee with the chair and a DDT on it ends this. Yes, Dreamer jobbed to Raven in the final encounter. I am about to give up.

Rating: D. This started out as an ok brawl but just got insane. To be fair it was a pretty brutal match but the ending is just stupid. The problem is that this feud was perfectly finished in ECW and there was no need for this. Dreamer winning was the right way to go here so of course they didn’t do that. Not a horrible match, but it’s just showing how bad this idea was overall as this feud is one that didn’t need to continue.

The Gangstas hit on So Cal Val and make racial jokes. Borash is New Jack’s now.

We talk about Heyman and say stuff we’ve all heard before.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

It’s 10:15 so hopefully we’re out before half past the hour. Other than that this is going to go WAY too long. Fonzie is in a yellow jacket and RVD comes out first. The fans say this is classic. Sabu is bald. They start out with a feeling out process because they know each other so well. Sabu does his point to the sky and RVD does his pointing. It would be nice if they actually did something.

In an interesting thing Fonzie sends a chair in but does it right down the middle. We hit the crowd for a bit as the chanting is just idiotic. Sabu botches….something and then the camel clutch is on. The bald guy doesn’t look half bad all things considered. With both guys down, Fonzie throws both of them a bottle of water. Both get tables as a result. Oh this isn’t going to end well.

Van Dam hits some slingshot legdrops and Fonzie tries to revive Sabu. Sabu hits a rana to send RVD into a chair in the middle of the ring. It looked totally fake but not bad at the same time. Clutch is on again for like 2 seconds. Triple Jump Moonsault is blocked by Van Dam and Sabu is bleeding from somewhere. Van Assassin hits (the one footed dropkick into the chair while the guy is crotched) and Sabu to the floor.

Ok so that lasts like a second and we’re back now. Morrison, watch an RVD match to see how you do the split legged moonsault, I beg of you. Rolling Thunder to the chair hits for two. Five Star ends it.

Rating: D+. While a mess, this is what it was supposed to be: a war. They beat each other up and it really isn’t as bad as anyone is saying it is. It’s bad, but this is what the match was supposed to be. There was no way it was going to be a classic, but this really wasn’t horrible. It held my attention for the most part and had some decent spots. For the ending to this show, this was bearable.

The locker room empties and we have a beer bash, which isn’t like that other show at all. The crowd chants F YOU VINCE and Dixie gets in the ring. Bubba takes her on a victory lap to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: this was bad. The wrestling was awful and there were really only two matches worth much at all. Luckily those were the two main matches and not the stuff no one remembers. This show is being called one of the worst of all time and from the view that this is the TNA offering this month, they’re right. From the perspective of using your intelligence, that’s not the case. Something that needs to be remembered here is the audience. This wasn’t for the casual wrestling fan. This was for the ECW fan and those people likely loved this. While the wrestling was bad, the booking was smart for the TNA fans as they get their PPV for FREE on Thursday. This was a way to get money out of the people that likely wouldn’t pay for a TNA show 90% of the time while still appeasing those that do. It’s a brilliant strategy from that perspective, but for casual TNA fans this was dreadful.

Another thing to keep in mind is that this was supposed to be like an ECW show. As great and fun as it was, in retrospect One Night Stand was more like a WWE show than an ECW show. This show had the realism of ECW far more than ONS did. This had the bad comedy and the random interference and the bad wrestling and the random matches. This was FAR more like ECW than the show five years ago was. Now that being said I’d still watch ONS over this a million times, but like I said earlier I’m not the target audience in the slightest. This wasn’t a good show, but it will likely be a successful one. It worked from that perspective and will be seen by ECW fans as a success, which is the whole idea. Don’t watch it or anything, but it’s not as bad as it’s made out to be, period.

Heat Wave 1998
Date: August 2, 1998
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,376
Commentator: Joey Styles

So apparently it’s ok to have no pay per views over the entire summer as it’s been three months since Wrestlepalooza. There are a few changes here. For one thing, guys like Mike Awesome and Masato Tanaka are here now, bringing a completely new style to ECW which was needed. Shane is of course still world champion and not wrestling tonight for no adequately explained reason.

The main event is a street fight, which is an oxymoron in ECW, between the Dudleys and Dreamer, Sandman and Spike. There is also a rather famous tag match with Van Dam and Sabu who have FINALLY ended the Storm and Candido tag title reign against Hayabusa and Jinsei Shinzaki (Hakushi). This is considered a classic but I’m not so sure that Sabu and classic can go together so we’ll just see. Let’s get to it.

Oh hey the world champion is on commentary tonight. Also all seven matches are main event matches apparently. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose or something?

Joey introduces Francine (holy goodness) and Shane to be his co-hosts. After talking about Taz because they have to keep building up the freaking thing for another 5 months, Francine shoves Joey’s face into her chest.

Cue theme song and opening video.

We have a more traditional ECW entrance ramp now with the hole in the brick wall that they would use forever.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

These two had a best of 21 series over a summer. Justin has a mob with him more or less. Naturally we get a shot at Chyna as they say Bass is bigger. Joey says they should name her Russia. Considering there was a chick in WCW named Asya, that’s kind of funny. This is the final match of said best of 21 series. Lynn of course comes out alone.

Apparently they’re feeling each other out. What the heck? THIS IS THEIR TWENTY FIRST MATCH IN THREE MONTHS. That’s a match every FOUR DAYS. How much feeling out do you need? Lynn is freaking MOVING out there. The tombstone is reversed into a rollup. Shane of course runs down Flair and Shawn even though that has nothing to do with anything.

I love how one of his first jobs in mainstream wrestling was being half of the New Rockers when Shawn was hurt. We’ll ignore that though. The first chair is in 15 minutes into the show. Well at least they waited a bit. We’re on the floor now and in full brawl mode. At least we got some wrestling stuff first so it balances out. Justin takes a DDT on the chair which should knock him out but of course it doesn’t.

That’s followed up by a hurricanrana through a table. I get that this is the last of the series, but dang man could you be a bit less contrived? To be fair though, this is a big match and not just a random pairing. Lynn keeps using the Tiger Bomb for some reason. Did he not have the Cradle Piledriver yet? Chastity gets a tombstone and Joey is glad. After an odd sequence, a tombstone from the second rope ends this with Justin winning.

Rating: C-. The weapons were a turn off for me as was all of the interference, but anyone that can have a best of 21 series is pretty decent. That’s a good way to describe Justin actually. Lynn impressed me here far more as he was carrying this. That’s Justin’s problem I think: he doesn’t do much and his offense is REALLY limited. It’s punch, taunt, chair move, taunt, tombstone. That doesn’t make you a good wrestler or character, but Heyman thought he was I guess.

We recap Storm vs. Candido and how they lost the belts to Van Dam and Sabu. Tonight is the one on one match.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Candido

Sunny looks freaking HOT. Joey thinks that maybe they’re getting along again and this will be a nice wrestling match. Naturally that doesn’t happen and Joey says he knew it wouldn’t. It’s funnier than it sounds. They chop the heck out of each other. BLAST IT IT JOEY QUIT SAYING THE SAME THINGS I SAY!!! Candido gets a nice dive from the top rope to the floor. Freaking sweet looking.

Storm rolls Sunny in and then just lets her roll out again in a completely pointless sequence. This is a rather basic but intense match. Storm hits a SWEET springboard over the railing to crash into Candido. It’s a solid brawl but it’s really not that great. Storm gets another SWEET move with a spin kick off the middle rope.

We have our fifth Batista/Tiger Bomb (yes I know they’re different moves but Joey keeps saying it’s a Tiger Bomb so whatever) of the night. You don’t have to do the same move over and over again. Candido gets powder thrown in his own eyes but there goes the referee. Sunny crotches Storm on the top and the super powerbomb ends this. Oh and along the way Sunny got her top ripped off. Sunny needs to wear red more often. My freaking goodness!

Rating: C+. Not bad, but it felt like it ended all of a sudden. I mean there were some ok high spots here, but for the most part there just wasn’t a lot going on. It was about 11 minutes but it felt like five.

New Jack says he’s ready for whoever he’s fighting in a pretaped thing in the parking lot. A huge brawl breaks out and he curses way too much. They Dudleys and the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks were in there. Jack is hurt apparently. Aww there’s no weapons match tonight. FOR SHAME!

Sabu, Van Dam and Alfonso are ready. Van Dam is on the verge of a face turn.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

These two feuded for the better part of ever and Tanaka usually would win if you can believe that. Awesome was just a freak of nature to say the least. In a little known bit of trivia, Awesome is the step nephew of one Hulk Hogan. Awesome could do just about everything and jumped all over the ring like Rey Mysterio, but he was the size of Test or so. And there he goes with a huge dive over the top rope.

Tanaka gets a running start with a chair to nail Awesome in the head. That looked painful. Basically all Tanaka can do is blast him with a chair. I’m not saying that’s all he’s capable of, but that that’s all he can get to work. A huge splash hits as this is rather physical. It’s not great but it’s far from bad as well. Tanaka takes a bunch of chair shots to the head but he Rises Up as the chair looks diseased.

The Awesome Bomb connects but Awesome wants to use a table instead. I hate those stupid things. A chair shot from the top which should have killed Tanaka connects and still no cover. Tanaka escapes twice despite likely being legally dead and power bombs Awesome through the table.

I’ve officially lost this match now, as there comes a point where disbelief can’t be suspended anymore. The Roaring Elbow connects for the second time but only the first time that it was either noticed or that Awesome sold it. A tornado DDT on a chair ends it.

Rating: C+. Well it was a good brawl but not much more. The amount of kickouts was just dumb near the end, as half of those bumps should have killed them. It certainly was exciting if nothing else though. The good thing is that the matches didn’t really get bad but they never really got better either. This was fun.

During the post match part, Shane mentions he can’t get back in the ring until November 1. So just to be clear, the world champion is out at bare minimum three months, not counting however long he’s been out already. And everybody is ok with this?

Taz says he’s better and means more than Austin and Goldberg. Oh that’s FUNNY.

Ad for November to Remember which is when Shane returns to the ring.

The Dudleys, all like nine of them say that they’re ready for tonight and their street fight. All of them say that and it takes forever.

Tag Titles: Hayabusa/Shinzaki vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

This is considered one of the gold standards of ECW so let’s see if it’s as good as I’ve been told that it is. The fans are into the Walk theme music for RVD and that’s an understatement. Van Dam is also the TV Champion. It’s amazing that he held it more or less until the company ended minus six months. The announcer butchers Shinzaki’s name to an extent that even I roll my eyes at it.

They say Sabu is from Bombay, Michigan and that never gets old. There’s no storyline here as they’ve just brought the guys in for a one off match. Ok then. Hayabusa and Van Dam start us off. We get a stall for a good while before we actually start. It’s an old Memphis tactic that I’ve always hated. They do a sloppy rollup/leg lock spot. Not a great starting point.

We get a you F’D chant off blown spot number two. We’re MAYBE two minutes into this by the way. Off a kick to the face (think Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise) Hayabusa misses Rob’s head by about 6 inches yet Van Dam sells it anyway. There’s been WAY too much walking around and doing nothing here. In what’s likely Shinzaki’s biggest move, he does a praying rope walk around the top rope like Taker but he goes around a corner.

Let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Van Dam is just holding onto him walking for about 8 seconds and has a free arm and two free feet, and we’re supposed to believe he’s just going to go quietly? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? When Taker does it it’s about 2 seconds on the ropes and nothing more. Not only is this sloppy, but it’s not making much sense.

And Sabu hasn’t even been in until now. He comes in for a cover. That makes sense. Nothing says high impact and cool looking offense like a chinlock! I think Hayabusa stole his attire from Hannibal from WCW/NWO Revenge. SUE HIM IMMEDIATELY!

Sabu shows some intelligence as he dropkicks the knee and then WORKS ON THE LEG! I’m stunned actually. After a LONG time of mat work etc we get to the high flying stuff that this is supposed to be about. Hayabusa is moving out there. We’re in the crowd now in case you were wondering. We’re out of the crowd now in case you were wondering.

Shinzaki and Sabu are in the ring while the other two are down on the floor. Van Dam puts Shinzaki in a bow and arrow so Sabu can hit him in the ribs with a chair. Again, WHY DO YOU NEED THE CHAIR??? The match was just starting to get good and we bring in a pointless chair because Sabu can’t work more than 5 minutes without a weapon. If you want to know what drives me the craziest about ECW, it’s THAT.

Sabu goes out, the chairs are taken out, and the match is instantly going up in value. Hayabusa going insane off the ropes is fun to watch. Why do we need chairs and weapons? Sabu hits a decent jumping hurricanrana. That wasn’t bad at all. See, if he tries, he could do some decent NON WEAPON RELATED stuff. Shinzaki hits what we would call a Pele kick on Van Dam. Hayabusa hits a 450 splash and this isn’t terrible.

Sabu hooks a Boston Crab so Van Dam can go up for a leg drop. This has lost anything resembling flow or actual tag wrestling and is just a mess anymore. If that’s the case, what was the point of the tagging thing earlier? We have a table and I more or less give up now. Shinzaki hits a WEIRD looking leg twist on Van Dam. It was cool looking if nothing else.

More chair use as Van Dam jumped from one side of the ring to another for kind of a Van Daminator. Sabu hurts his hand doing something. They break the table. Not break through it but just break it. So we get two more! Oh and a chair which is slammed over Hayabusa’s head. A Van Daminator takes down Shinzaki.

In the big spot of the match, both Japanese guys are on one table and the champions go up top and crash through both guys. That ends it. Seriously? It should be noted that in every replay, the champions use weapons and the challengers never do. That should tell you a few things.

Rating: D+. The first half of this was pretty good. It wasn’t great at all but I didn’t expect it to be. After about ten minutes though it’s your standard ECW tag match: weapons, ridiculous spots with zero transitions, and a complete lack of anything resembling tagging.

Also, the first half is made to look pointless as they tagged then but they don’t in the second half. BE CONSISTENT BLAST IT! It’s watchable I guess, but it’s nothing I’m going to remember in about a day or so. This is the best tag match ECW ever had? That explains a lot.

We recap Bigelow vs. Taz. More or less, Taz got put through the ring and he went after Shane and the Triple Threat, including Bigelow. This was the introduction of the FTW Title. This was really about setting up Shane vs. Taz but because the champion was injured for at least three months, we didn’t get the match for about another 6 months.

Yeah, because we couldn’t do that in November since we had to have a 6 man tag instead. I mean, it’s not like this hasn’t been going on for the last 4 months already or anything. Heyman makes my head hurt.

FTW Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Taz

You know, for an unrecognized title, it certainly was recognized by the announcer. Oh this is a death match, meaning falls count anywhere. Bigelow is noticeably less fat. Shane says he won’t cheer lead. That’s rather amusing. First move of the match: Bigelow powerbombs Taz and it’s completely no sold. Give me a break. This isn’t your standard big man vs. little man match as Taz isn’t your typical little man.

Taz goes air (Evan) borne by jumping off the stage at Bigelow who catches him. That’s always been a move I get impressed by. They’re in the crowd here which at least makes sense in this case as it’s falls count anywhere. We get an armbar on the floor. Ok then. Shane of course takes credit for everything that Bigelow does. At least he’s being a heel. The lack of weight really does help him out I think. Taz is bleeding.

Back in the ring now and IT’S TABLE TIME! SO NEW! SO INNOVATIVE! OH YES!!! Taz goes through it and Bigelow is dominating. They exercise recycling as they have Bigelow go through the same table that Taz did. ECW is environmentally conscious if nothing else.

And then we go on the ramp and Taz reverses a DDT through the ramp to do the same big mindless spot that they did in the first match. Both guys of course come out of the hole and the Tazmission is on for the tap out. Shane’s reaction is great. I’d sell my G-Mod spot for a curses foiled again from him.

Rating: D+. Again just an overblown brawl. Thankfully this ended their feud but again it’s just another chapter in the Shane/Taz saga. It was all about one spot which is the smoke and mirrors booking that Heyman was notorious for. It’s ok to just wrestle. He needs to get that.

We recap the Dudleys vs. the faces which started when Beaulah had her neck broken by them. Joey goes on a rant against the Dudleys because of what they did. The heat on them was unreal.

Dudleys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Spike Dudley/Sandman

The Dudleys are Bubba, D-Von and Big Dick in case you were wondering. This is the show where everyone went off on the Dudleys that Bubba talked about on Rise and Fall of ECW if you remember. There’s a piece of plywood more or less over the hole in the ramp. We get a bunch of promos from every one of the heels. The Dudleys would be gone in about a year or so.

Joel gets his usual great promo in that makes me laugh. Oh and Sign Guy is hurt pretty badly due to a ton of beatings. Oh and there’s a Beaulah doll with them. Sandman’s entrance takes about ten minutes and we have a ladder for no apparent reason. It’s a Dudleyille Street Fight so of course we’re tagging in and out. Dreamer and D-Von start us off.

Something tells me this is going to be violent quickly. Spike comes in and of course gets the tar beaten out of him by Bubba. Quite a bit of the next three or four minutes is just Spike getting beaten up. Oh joy it’s Dick vs. Sandman. This isn’t going to be pretty at all. Screw it we’re on the floor now. If this turns into a regular tag team match again I’ll be AMAZED.

Tommy and D-Von are in the crowd now with the non African-American winning it. It’s ladder time and they just beat the heck out of each other with it with big spots followed by resting and then more brawling. D-Von’s overselling never gets old to me if nothing else. Bubba finally hits that back splash thing onto a ladder onto Tommy. That’s not dumb at all.

We have more weapons in the ring than people. The managers get beaten up. All three Dudleys and Gertner are tied to the Tree of Woe and the referee hit dropkicks onto chairs to them all. I give up man. Sandman whispers into Bubba’s ear before they set up a spot. Sandman takes a SICK chair shot to the head. Dreamer hits a DDT on Bubba onto a ladder for the pin. And here’s New Jack and Jack Victory who were supposed to have a match earlier to beat people up and we’re done.

Rating: F+ More brawling. That’s all this was. WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE BRAWLING??? Look, I get that this is a hardcore company. I get that this was a big grudge match. I get that this was about revenge. I get all that, but WRESTLE FOR MORE THAN TWO MINUTES A MATCH!

This was the most violent match of the night, true. However, it COMPLETELY loses its appeal when there have been what, three other wild brawls already tonight? This is why I hate reviewing ECW: I get more wrestling on the hour long show that airs on Tuesdays than I do in the original three hour long PPVs. That’s unacceptable any way you look at it.

Overall Rating: D. This brawling stuff has got to freaking stop, but something tells me that simply isn’t going to happen at all. This was the sixth ECW PPV and while this was better than Wrestlepalooza, that’s not saying much. This just didn’t work for me as it was all about violence. ECW was supposed to have a balance but it just wasn’t there on this show at all and the show sucked as a result to me.

It’s not completely terrible, but it’s repetitive. By the end of the show I hated the thought of another chair or weapon shot and was just burnt out. That’s really bad and something tells me it’s not going to change. Also for the love of pizza stop comparing yourselves to WWF. They were 4 weeks away from tearing MSG down with Rock vs. HHH in the ladder match at Summerslam 98. You guys don’t deserve to be able to even talk about that company at this point. Stay clear of this one.