Sacrifice 2011
Date: May 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another TNA PPV tonight with the main event being Sting vs. RVD for the title.  Earlier today Karen Angle, who is in one of the big matches, posted a message on her Facebook saying that she wouldn’t be able to be in the ring tonight due to a bad ankle.  What a shock indeed.  Anyway the card looks ok I guess so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Sting vs. RVD and is set to a song called, appropriately enough, Sacrifice which is rap/hip hop.  Both guys are shown training, almost like a Rocky montage.

There’s a big Sacrifice banner which is a bit different.  There was a rumor that the whole place would look different but I don’t see any major differences.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc

Neal comes out with the big American flag to fight off the evil (not) foreigners.  The fans chant USA as I guess Shannon’s teased heel turn means nothing.  This is now the Impact Wrestling Zone.  Yeah I’m not changing the name.  Anarquia and Shannon start us off.  Arm work by Shannon to start which goes on for awhile.  Anarquia wasn’t bad as Lowrider in OVW but he’s rather generic here which isn’t his fault.

Anarquia tries some power which gets him a leg lariat from Moore.  Rosita gets up to distract and this incredibly by the book match brings in Hernandez.  Neal comes in also and gets a belly to belly to take him down.  Sarita does the same thing Rosita did as even the announcers point out that it’s the same thing.  Back off to Anarquia and Moore who gets a cross body off the top for two.

Moore goes to the floor and Anarquia slides into the ring skirt, getting caught behind it in a somewhat creative spot.  Asai moonsault takes Hernandez down but Sarita comes in again to turn the tide.  Shouldn’t a big powerful heel tag team not need girls to take over on some punks?  Backbreaker submission goes on Moore by Hernandez and a slam move gets two.

Moore plays Ricky Morton as every female wrestling fan that was a teenager in the 80s screams in terror.  Moonsault press mostly misses Anarquia and it’s hot tag Neal minus the pop.  Cross body out of the corner gets two.  Moore gets a Cactus Clothesline to take Anarquia to the floor but it’s Border Toss time.  That doesn’t connect but neither does the Mooregasm due to Rosita.  Hernandez uses a sitout Dominator for the pin on Neal.  He almost landed on his head but the hair shielded him.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match at all and even decent at times, but this was the walking definition of generic.  It’s as paint by numbers as you can possibly get but at the same time that’s just fine.  Decent enough opener and nothing to really complain about.  Nothing to get excited about either but this was completely fine.

The announcers talk about what happened on Impact and get interrupted by the Jarretts’ music.  Karen is on crutches and is in a cast/walking boot.  Jeff says that Karen was giving orders to the hired help and stepped on an action figure.  The fans LOUDLY chant BS as apparently she has a bad sprain and it’s broken in two places.  The tag match is off and cue Foley.  He says he looked at the x-ray and that apparently it was of a 6’6 African American male.  The match is on because wrestling matters.  Karen throws the walking boot at Foley as he leaves.

Brian Kendrick is apparently facing Robbie E tonight in an added match.  He talks about language and talks about how the X-Division is awesome and how it’s not just about small people.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick does his meditation thing pre-match with the hood over his head.  Hmm, Robbie has his opponent on the mat with his head covered and with him not looking.  What in the world should he do?  He pulls the hood back and gets beaten up for his efforts.  Kendrick, robe/whatever still on meditates more and keeps fighting him off.  I can’t decide if he’s more like Mr. Miyagi or Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

Cookie goes after Kendrick and is told God has a plan for her.  Robbie knocks him to the floor in his first offense.  Kendrick’s mouth is busted.  Middle rope elbow gets two on Kendrick who is still in that robe.  Suplex on the floor but the second is reversed by Kendrick.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gives Kendrick control and there goes the robe.  Robbie can’t get the neckbreaker and a leg lariat ends this.  Time for meditation.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was just an extended Impact match.  Not bad but at the same time there’s no real point to this for the most part.  Granted it’s an added match so you can’t really complain about much.  I’m curious as to where this leads to a very small extent as the whole X-Division thing has been done over and over again and it never goes anywhere long term.

Kendrick tries to “bond” with both of them post match and it doesn’t go that well.

Tara is asked about the match tonight and is asked who she wants to win.  Before she can answer Madison pops up and says it’s all about her.  Tara is told to stay in the back tonight.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison.  Tara was forced to leave so Madison brought her back on the condition that she had to work for Madison.  Mickie won the title from Madison in about 8 seconds at Lockdown so tonight it’s title vs. Tara’s contract.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Madison looks hot but her tiara looks like the hat the Pope wears.  The religious leader, not Dinero.  Tara pops up just after the bell.  Well at least we’re longer than the previous month’s match.  We hit the floor quickly and Mickie is sent into the steps.  Madison drops her by the hair for two.  All Rayne so far.  Tara won’t hit Mickie when Madison tells her to.  Mickie grabs a neckbreaker to get us back to even.

Tara still won’t hit her and we get some pinfall attempts.  Down goes the referee and Mickie gets kicked in the thigh I think.  Madison revives the old loaded glove trick but Tara steals it away.  Mickie can’t get the DDT and Madison gets a rollup with a handful of Dukes for two.  Mickie gets a flapjack and a nip(ple) up but the Thesz Press takes down the referee again.  Rayne Drop can’t hit and it’s DDT time.  Tara comes in with the loaded glove and hits Madison to zero shock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Really awkward match here as the ending was exactly what they hinted at the entire time.  Tara vs. Madison is up next I guess so I guess Mickie now faces…Winter maybe?  I really have no idea but it should be ok I guess.  Should be interesting either way I suppose.  Yeah I have nothing else to say here.

Fourtune says they’ll win tonight.  Tonight Max Buck can’t be a star if he was thrown by a ninja.  Cool line.  AJ vs. Dreamer is no DQ.  Beer Money makes fun of Harris and says AMW is done.

X-Division Title: Max Buck vs. Kazarian

If there are five members of Fourtune, why does the song say Fourtune Four?  Technical stuff to start us off with neither guy getting an extended advantage.  Kaz is in long tights tonight in a new look for him if my memory is right.  Max sends him into the corner but Kaz jumps over him and gets a reverse X-Factor for two.  That was a rather smooth looking counter indeed.

The fans aren’t that pleased here it seems.  Out to the floor with Max in control as he shouts Come On Frankie.  Jawbreaker gives Max more control and a dropkick gets two.  We hit the mat and Kaz gets beaten on even more.  Kaz gets a gutwrench suplex off the middle rope to put both guys down.  Spinwheel kick gets no cover for the champ.

Springboard legdrop gets two.  Fade to Black is countered so Kaz settles for a jumping neckbreaker for two.  Fade to Black is countered again into a Buckle Bomb as Max takes over again.  Elevated DDT sets up a 450 for two.  Surprised by that kickout.  Kaz punts him kind of and a sunset bomb sends Max head first onto the concrete.  That sounded sick.  THAT gets two as this is a better match than I was expecting.  Fade to Black STILL can’t hit but a Shining Wizard ends Buck finally.

Rating: B. Match of the night so far and a rather unexpectedly long and decent match.  There was zero drama which hurt things a lot here but the match was really quite good.  The ending was a bit abrupt but it was still a good outing by both guys which came out of nowhere, which is always a nice perk.

Abyss says it’s going to take more than Janice to get rid of him.  He keeps going despite everything that’s happened to him.  The teeth he got knocked out of his mouth were delicious apparently.  He has Crimson tonight.

Quick recap of Crimson vs. Abyss says that Crimson injured Abyss and is undefeated.  This is revenge time.  Simple and sweet I guess.

Crimson vs. Abyss

They charge at each other after a brief staredown and it’s a battle of the big men.  Shoulder block takes Abyss down and a clothesline sends him to the floor.  Out to the floor as this is mostly just a brawl.  All Abyss here.  This is one of those slow matches where a lot of the match is one guy (Crimson in this case) laying around while Abyss moves very slowly.

Crimson tries a comeback and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  More power man stuff leads to a chokeslam by Abyss for a very close two.  And hey it’s time for Janice.  The referee wisely runs off to the floor instead of DQing Abyss.  Since it would be near murder for that to hit Crimson he gets a spear for two.

Shock Treatment doesn’t work as Crimson gets a double arm DDT for two.  Abyss comes back again and a Vader Bomb gets two.  Corner splash misses and Crimson gets a Sky High Powerbomb (Red Sky) to end this.  That’s a good finisher for him as that Red Alert is almost impossible to hit on big guys.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that got better with the finish.  Abyss not having enough to put Crimson down is a nice addition to his whole undefeated streak.  Better than I expected and not bad at all for a battle of the big men.  Crimson could be something interesting if pushed right but they need to get him onto something significant quickly.

We recap Beer Money vs. Matt/Harris which is a weird team to say the least.  Basic idea is Harris knows Storm so that’s their advantage.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris

The former partners start us off as Harris’ tights say America’s Most Wanted.  The fans chant Braden Walker and it’s off to Matt before any contact.  The champs take over on Matt as Walker is indeed bigger than he was the last time we saw him.  Now it’s Harris in against Storm’s new “partner”.  Off to Storm now and Harris runs off as Storm glares at him.

The challengers keep using AMW moves on Storm in an attempt at psychology but the gut of Harris keeps covering it up.  Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Matt down but Storm needs a tag.  Double tag to ZERO reaction and Roode plays face in peril again.  Roode gets his back worked on via a middle rope elbow by Hardy and it’s off to a gutwrench.

Finally off to Storm who gets to beat on Harris.  Skin the cat sets up an elevated DDT to Harris.  Reverse tornado DDT gets two for Storm.  He likes those DDTs I guess.  Matt breaks up DWI but it’s a Backstabber for him.  Catatonic doesn’t work and Roode hits a spinebuster to Harris.  The Beer Money shout sets up a superkick to Harris but Storm doesn’t want to do DWI.  Instead it’s the Death Sentence (Trash Compactor for you REALLY old school fans) and Harris is done.  Matt apparently just walked off and left Harris somewhere near the end.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as Harris dragged this WAY down.  He’s terribly out of shape and his selling and timing were way off.  It seems like the Harris thing is probably going to lead to an AMW reunion because that’s the best way to use a guy like Storm right?  Either way, weak match and not much to write home about at all.

Ray yells at Borash a bit “because he can.”  JB asks about Dreamer and Ray says it’s none of his business.  Ray and Dreamer know why Dreamer is doing what he’s doing and JB doesn’t need to know.  Apparently AJ needs to drink, listen to rock and roll and chase women.  Ray threatens AJ’s family, including implying sex with AJ’s wife.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We recap the Jarretts vs. Angle/Chyna.  Basically Chyna is there to take care of Karen and that’s about it.  Velvet Sky was the prime suspect and that went nowhere.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

This should be….interesting.  Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl.  Those exact words.  TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason.  Chyna looks like Captain America.  We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course.  The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry.  Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd.  Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor.  Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in.  Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna.  Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move.  Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to.  Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two.  Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time.  Jeff takes over again and says it’s over.  Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes.  Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff.  Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no.  Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring.  Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner.  Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT.  That has to be better than the powerbomb.  Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap.  Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle.  While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do.  Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it.  The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory.  Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

We get the same recap video from Impact (I think).  Nothing of note here: RVD never lost the title, Sting handpicked him for the rematch.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

Anderson, in a Packers Favre jersey and with a laptop at the table apparently, is going to sit in on commentary.  I think he’s doing a live chat during the PPV.  No big match intros here.  Very basic and technical stuff to start us off which is a theme tonight.  Both guys miss moves and Van Dam hits the floor for a breather.  That’s a borderline heel move.

RVD takes over as Anderson mentions the heelish aspects to him tonight.  A spinwheel kick in the corner misses as does a Stinger Splash as we head to the floor.  Van Dam tries a leg drop off the railing and hits railing, possibly hurting his knee.  Into the crowd again as Van Dam reverses a whip into a wall or something.  Anderson makes PG jokes because those haven’t been done in SO long right?

Van Dam gets kicked into a guard rail up in the crowd and both guys are down.  Sting gets kicked down the stairs and dove on in a cool spot.  Back in the ring and it’s the kick off the top by Van Dam as this has been the main event brawl so far.  Knees to the back counter Rolling Thunder and Sting is fired up.  Another Stinger Splash misses in the corner as does the Five Star.

Rollup gets two for Sting and the Death Drop actually hits for….the completely clean pin out of absolutely nowhere.  That’s one of the most anticlimactic endings I have ever seen in my entire life.  Anderson kept running his mouth the entire time and again, absolutely nothing happened here.  He has something special for Sting on Impact apparently.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness man TNA can’t get a main event to work well for the life of them it seems.  Sting winning isn’t a shock but there was NOTHING as far as an ending sequence there.  Literally Sting grabbed the move, hit it and we were done.  No kickouts, not big segment, just a totally clean win.  Not a bad match, but dude, that’s it?

Anderson goes to the ring and stares him down and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was such a played close to the vest show that it was unreal.  It was a decent show and there isn’t a bad match on the card, but nothing is great at all and the best match is only good at best, being the X Title match.  It’s a decent enough show but it’s a show that didn’t need to exist for the most part.  Nothing really happened here and other than Chyna’s first match in like ten years, nothing is going to be memorable about this as far as I can tell.  Decent enough show though and it held my interest for about 90% of it, but definitely not worth $40 or whatever it costs.

Results

Mexican America b. Ink Inc – Sitout Dominator to Neal

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Leg lariat

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Pin after Tara hit Rayne with a loaded glove

Kazarian b. Max Buck – Shining Wizard

Crimson b. Abyss – Red Sky

Beer Money b. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris – Death Sentence to Harris

Tommy Dreamer b. AJ Styles – Piledriver through a table

Kurt Angle/Chyna b. Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett – Ankle lock to Karen Angle

Sting b. Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop

Impact
Date: May 5, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: The Network is Coming

We’ve got two weeks before Sacrifice and things are starting to take shape before the PPV.  The main thing from last week to carry over here is the possibility of Angle’s mistress being revealed.  Aside from that though there really isn’t much to talk about for tonight’s show.  I’d assume some more matches will be officially announced for the PPV but that’s about it.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Network issues as Hogan is ticked off about the whole thing.  The episode is called The Network is Coming.  Gee that doesn’t sound familiar at all.

We open with Sting and RVD coming to the ring and see that Immortal is in the ring waiting on them.  Snow, Diamond and Brown come out to prevent the fight which the fans want to see.  Hogan says that if Sting knows something about the representative, tell him right now.  There’s going to be a representative here next week and he, no SHE will be here to talk to Hogan face to face.

Hogan tries to charge Sting and Van Dam but D’lo Brown holds Hulkster back.  That doesn’t last though as Immortal jumps the agents and the fight is on.  Fourtune comes out to even the sides and clear the ring.  Roode takes the mic and says the usual stuff about Fourtune building the company and Hogan/Bischoff cashing in on their work.  He thought he knew Hogan but this Hogan has no pride.  Roode earns his pay and puts food in his kids’ mouth.  He’s a blue collar worker and has earned what he has.  What has Hogan earned?

Roode references Jay Lethal’s recent release (called a firing here) and says that Lethal was a guy that did what he asked every single week.  I guess that means when he actually got on TV.  Roode says his name is Bobby Roode and things are going to start to change next week.  Nice to see someone get some mic time in Fourtune other than Daniels or Styles.

The Jarretts get Velvet out of the shower and say Hogan has let them issue an ultimatum and she needs to get to the ring now.

Matt Hardy says he was/is one half of the best tag teams of all time.  He’s going to give someone a call and that person is going to come and the two of them will challenge Beer Money for the tag titles.

Suicide vs. Sangriento

Suicide controls to start until Sangriento (means bloody or bloodthirsty) gets a DDT onto the apron.  And of course a random masked luchador is nothing at all like Sin Cara in the slightest.  Sin Cara is an actual superstar in Mexico as opposed to a made up character here.

Suicide hits his usual unique offense which can’t keep Sangriento down though.  Middle rope dropkick to the back of the head and a rana from the middle rope both get two for Sangriento.  Suicide fights back and tries his half breed cousin of the Angle Slam.  Sangriento counters and gets a cool looking move as he springboards off the middle rope (think a Lionsault) but goes backwards into a cutter to end this at 3:50.  Cool ending.

Rating: C. Not much of a debut here but the ending was a fairly unique move which is hard to pull off in today’s product.  Sangriento is probably going to wind up meaning nothing like the majority of the X-Division guys.  Either way though, cool move by taking a guy already on the roster (Amazing Red) and giving him something new to do.

Hogan and Bischoff try to figure out who the representative is and think it could be Flair.  Sting said the one coming next week was female but also said that it was a representative and not necessarily the representative so that’s not a plot hole.

Back with Mexican America in the ring and it’s time for their Cinco de Mayo celebration.  They talk about the history of the holiday which is in memory of the Mexican army winning a major battle.  Sarita calls in the Spanish announce team and say bring their own tequila, which they happen to have.  The team is Hector Guerrero (Eddie’s big brother) and Willie Urbina (not sure on the spelling of that).

Anarquia doesn’t like Urbina because he’s Puerto Rican and not Mexican.  They take him down and Hector isn’t happy.  Anarquia looks a lot like Chavo.  The heels threaten Hector and Ink Inc of all people come out for the save.  They say get out and hold up the flag.  I guess we’re just supposed to forget the issues they were having when Shannon was being a jerk?

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Gunner is being pushed as the stopper for Immortal.  Ray and Daniels start but Daniels tags out almost immediately to let AJ fight Ray but the Bully runs off to bring in Gunner.  The good guys work over Gunner until Ray interferes and we enter the tag team formula.  Mickie is defending the title against Tessmacher later tonight.  She gets a title match why exactly?

After Daniels gets beaten down for a bit it’s hot tag to AJ who cleans house, hitting the springboard forearm to Gunner.  Pele looks to set up the springboard 450 but Ray breaks it up and everything breaks down.  The fans want D-Von as Ray gets his chain.  Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save…..and piledrivers AJ for the DQ.  Tommy Dreamer has turned heel and this is a no contest instead of a DQ for no apparent reason.  Ray says good choice and Dreamer doesn’t look happy.  Match ran about 4:10.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but dude…..Tommy Dreamer?  So AJ is now feuding with the ECW guys?  At least they let Gunner do most of the work as he isn’t that bad in the ring.  AJ vs. Ray could be a pretty good blowoff match if they let them fight.  Other than that though, nothing of note to see here.

Back and Dreamer is MAD.  He’s wrecking everything in sight and won’t talk to anyone.  I’m guessing he wasn’t doing that because he wants to.

AJ can’t feel his fingers and they’re looking for a doctor and ice.  Fourtune thinks this is about EV 2 or something but they’re not sure.  AJ says either they get answers or Dreamer is taking a beating.

Matt is on the phone and Ray comes up.  Ray wants to know how “he” is doing and Matt says good.  Ray says Dreamer did what he has to do to keep himself in this company.  That makes things seem a bit better.  It’s gotten so bad for Immortal they have to get TOMMY DREAMER to help them?

The Jarretts and Velvet are up next.

Winter gives pills to Angelina and says soon she won’t need them anymore.  Winter talks about their souls connecting when they first met which Angelina doesn’t remember.  She’s crossed eons of time to find her again and Angelina will remember soon.  She kisses Angelina on the cheek and says come with her.  This might not end well.

Here are the Jarretts for their weekly continuance of this feud that will not die.  They call out Velvet and say that every Knockout has been a champion other than her.  I guess the tag titles don’t mean anything.  More accusations are made by the Karen who says that Velvet is sleeping with Kurt to get herself noticed.  Velvet denies it and makes fun of Karen like last week.  She’s never been champion but that’s her goal now.  Velvet says she has business to take care of so Karen makes more fun of her for it and somehow makes Winter/Angelina vs. Velvet.

Winter and Angelina come out but before we get going here’s Kurt for more talking.  Apparently the Network has made the main event a mixed handicap match with Angle/Velvet vs. Jarrett/Angelina/Winter.  Is there anyone in TNA that can’t make matches?

Bischoff is ticked off in the back when Terry and Murphy come up and say they can help.  Eric is all ticked off and makes them fight with the loser leaving TNA.

Back and Crimson is looking for Joe with a metal object in hand.

Rob Terry vs. Murphy

They slug it out to start and a clothesline doesn’t really hurt either guy.  Loser leaves TNA/Immortal remember.  Murphy takes over until Terry fires back with raw power to a moderate face pop.  Other than that the crowd doesn’t seem to care.  Half belly to back suplex/half chokeslam by Murphy and he goes up top and a top rope clothesline gets two.  The announcers say loser leaves Immortal so I’m not sure which it is here.  Terry more or less Hulks Up and hits a modified Jackhammer to end this at 3:20.

Rating: D. So?  Really, so what?  I guess at the same time this gets rid of Murphy so that helps a bit.  Nothing of note here as it was just a quick battle of power.  There’s nothing to say here but I guess it lets Terry, who has more potential than Murphy, stick around and have something to do.

Hogan says both of them are out of Immortal.  Ok then.  He and Bischoff keep brainstorming on who the network person could be as they’re running out of time.

Joe is just getting here an hour and 22 minutes into the show.  Crimson pops up with a sledgehammer and says the next time someone is beating Joe down he’ll turn his head just like Joe did last week.  Joe says he never asked for help.  Crimson says stay out of his way or else.  Joe wants to know if that’s a threat and Crimson says take it however you want to.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

Tessmacher takes the glasses off and bends over to pick them up.  Well it’s not like she’s here for her in ring abilities.  Basic stuff here as Tessmacher does gymnast stuff while Mickie walks her through the match.  Victory Roll gets two for Tessmacher and she fires the worst enziguri I’ve ever seen for two.  Off to the arm by Tessmacher for a bit before Mickie makes her comeback with a bunch of clotheslines.  Neckbreaker sets up a terrible looking jumping DDT to end it at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, girls were hot.  That sums up the entire match as that’s the entire reason Tessmacher was out there.  Mickie can’t really do much with this kind of opponent, especially with her shoulder not being 100% still.  I can’t imagine what Tessmacher is going to do but she looks good so I can’t complain that much.

Madison and Tara come out and Madison wants a rematch for the title.  Mickie says cool but Tara’s freedom is on the line too.

Brian Kendrick, Generation Me and Amazing Red are ticked off about Lethal being fired and are going to see Bischoff about it.

The aforementioned X guys come up to Eric who is getting coffee.  They want to know what they have to do to get a shot.  Eric says he cares about them and says their solution is to grow about a foot and a half and throws coffee on Kendrick.  So we’re using the Eddie Guerrero situation in WCW as a storyline now?

We hear from Sting and RVD about the match at Sacrifice.  RVD says he deserves a title shot and Sting says he respects Van Dam.  Anything can happen there.  Somehow that took three minutes to say.

Winter/Angelina Love/Jeff Jarrett vs. Velvet Sky/Kurt Angle

This actually gets big match introductions including a slow bell ring.  Winter vs. Velvet to start us off and it’s off to Angelina quickly.  Nothing Velvet does hurts her until a spear puts Angelina down.  Velvet gets in Karen’s face which lets Angelina get up and get a boot in as we take a break.  Back with Angelina working on Velvet some more and a double team suplex takes Sky down again.

Off to the guys and Jarrett blocks the Angle Slam with an armdrag to take over.  Sunset flip is rolled through into the ankle lock and Jarrett kind of taps but it doesn’t count.  Karen tries to cheat and Kurt pulls her in as he pulls Jeff out from the ropes.  Velvet tags herself in to get at Karen but the other chicks beat her down before Karen gets hurt.  Double DDT takes the two chicks down and actually gets the pin on Winter at 8:15 including commercial.

Rating: D. Another weak match here as nothing of note happens as we’re still waiting to get to the point with the reveal of the chick that Angle has so that we can set up a mixed tag or whatever to continue this already far too long feud.  Nothing special here at all and a really weak main event.

Kurt says the chosen one is here next week and isn’t Velvet.

Hogan and Bischoff are still talking about the network guy and their car has “You’re Next” spraypainted on it.  The X guys are behind it and apparently did it with even Eric saying it’s not Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. Not the worst show TNA has ever done but at the same time there was a lot of stuff here that bored me to death.  The Jarretts/Velvet stuff is going nowhere really and seems like it’s just padding before we get to something.  Again they’re setting up for an Impact rather than the PPV which usually makes for a really lackluster PPV, which is never a good thing.  Everything is kind of in neutral at this point as we wait for the reveal of a network executive, who I’m assuming is the big one next week, even though they left a door open to continue it.  Weak show here after a string of good ones.

Results

Sangriento b. Suicide – Springboard Cutter

AJ Styles/Daniels vs. Bully Ray/Gunner went to a no contest when Tommy Dreamer interfered

Rob Terry b. Murphy – Spinebuster

Mickie James b. Miss Tessmacher – Jumping DDT

Kurt Angle/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter/Jeff Jarrett – Sky pinned Winter after a DDT

Wrestlepalooza 1998
Date: May 3, 1998
Location: Cobb County Civic Center, Marietta, Georgia
Attendance: 3,401
Commentator: Joey Styles

It’s been two months since Living Dangerously and not a lot has changed. It’s still Snow vs. Douglas as Snow’s insane rise in popularity continues. Candido and Storm are still champions that hate each other and are defending the belts tonight in a storyline that NO ONE has ever seen before. Van Dam has begun his two year long reign with the title and has his first big defense tonight: he’s fighting Sabu. Oh this could hurt a lot. Let’s get to this as the card looks somewhere between bad and ok.

We do the intro video before the show introduction this time which I like a lot better. The other way just takes me out of the show for some reason. It usually feels like they forgot to do the show opening or something and then went back to it.

F.B.I. vs. BWO

Suddenly I want some alphabet soup. It’s Tracy Smothers and Guido vs. Super Nova and Blue Meanie. The BWO itself is actually over and dead but they both wear blue and team together still so there we are. I want to hit Tommy Rich. The guy is just freaking annoying. He gets a huge F YOU chant directed at him so at least Georgia fans are intelligent. Nova and Guido, the two talented guys, start us out.

Nova is a superhero by the way. Meanie is just a fat guy that has nothing else going for him. Nova is well known for having a very unorthodox offense and it’s on display here. Meanie comes in and Rich says we need to have a dance contest. And the referee dances too. THANKFULLY Smothers jumps Meanie to end this mindlessness. And the referee slams both heels to get two on Smothers. What the heck am I watching???

Finally we get something sensible as Smothers hits a nice bicycle kick to Nova’s head. Meanie can’t even get into the ring correctly. This is what critics mean when they say this company was a joke. When you’re that sloppy, you have no business being in a ring on a major show at all. Meanie misses the moonsault, which is just about the only move Meanie could do without injuring someone else. Nova hits a downward spiral for the pin. And the faces do the YMCA afterwards. My head hurts again.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t bad, but for the most part it was an unfunny comedy match. Nova was cool, but other than that there was just noting at all that stood out here for me. Meanie was just a fat tub of goo that never did anything of note outside of ECW (Bluedust was nothing of note and yes I know he was in WWF for awhile) and the FBI were always annoying to me. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about, or better yet it’s nothing to review. Wait what?

We recap Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck. This feud is STILL going? This was just a way to get Justin over which completely failed as there was one simple problem: Justin wasn’t any good. Paul kept trying to tell us he was but it simply wasn’t there. Justin got pushed until the company folded and was getting said push over guys like RVD. That should explain a lot to you.

Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck

So Mikey’s destroyed knee is all of a sudden fine. Good to know. He gets some good punches in and we’re on the floor already. They throw Justin into the crowd and he more or less crushes a fan. I get that this is a different kind of company, but dude, don’t half crush your fans. Justin shoves Mikey off the apron so that he crashes into the guard rail. We have our first chair of the evening and Mikey takes a SICK bump into it.

That looked like it would have nearly killed him but of course he’s fine. The fans chant Aldo at Justin. He was Aldo Montoya in WWF in case you didn’t know that. If nothing else he gets a nice counter to the Whippersnapper (Stunner, which Mikey used way before Austin) by just hooking him in a reverse DDT. It was very nice indeed. These fans are really annoying.

I get that they’re a major aspect of ECW, but to fans like me who aren’t huge fans and are the audience that ECW needed to grab in order to stay in business, they’re very annoying indeed. Justin gets suplexed through a table which of course is impressive even though we see it about five times a show.

And now it’s just about the chair and nothing else. It’s just big spot, two count, chair spot, two count, big spot, two count over and over again. Chastity, the valet of Credible, takes a BAD Whippersnapper off the top. And Justin gets the tombstone out of nowhere onto the chair for the pin. I hated that ending.

Rating: D+. So in other words, Justin lost twice in a row but he gets a more or less fluke win here and he wins the feud. ECW and most other wrestling companies have a major problem with this and it drives me insane. Just because you win the last match in a feud doesn’t mean you win the feud. Take Dreamer vs. Raven for example: Dreamer “won” the feud, but he lost probably 100 times and got one victory. How does that make him the winner?

As for this match, the ending was just big spot after big spot and then Justin got the tombstone for the random pin. That’s supposed to make sense I guess. Justin, who is supposed to be the best wrestler in the world according to Heyman, did nothing other than a throw into the guard rail all match but hits one big move to win the thing. That’s GREAT wrestling indeed Paul.

Rotten and Mahoney want their shot at the titles. They demand a shot and just get one. Ok then.

ECW Tag Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Chris Candido/Lance Storm

They still hate each other and even though they don’t get along and fight each other, they manage to beat every team in the company as they do it. Don’t you just love Heyman’s brilliance? Mind you the challengers were in the arena to make their challenge yet the champions are here first. In a funny spot, they argue over who gets top billing. Oh I get it now: the champions came to the ring and were introduced before they actually accepted the challenge. Is Heyman even thinking?

The Freaks are Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in case you were wondering. To my surprise we start with a wrestling sequence. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Good night Balls Mahoney is worthless. Rotten is trying to wrestle which works ok but it’s hard to take a guy who wrestles for a team called the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks seriously. They do a standard tag match here and it’s really not that bad. I’m very surprised. Rotten throws chops and the fans WOO.

They start a BRING IN FLAIR chant and my head begins to hurt. First off, just no. Second off, isn’t that exactly what ECW is supposed to be against? Third of all, I love how they just assume Heyman can afford that. The fans were stupid at times and were dragged around by Heyman by their noses. It’s really pathetic at times. Sunny shows up and the champions fight over Storm saving her. “Hey! You keep your hands off my fiancé! If she dies who cares??? YOU JUST STAY AWAY!”

And now we get to the flat out stupid part of the match. Balls hits his finisher. There’s no one around. They should win the titles. He goes to get a chair. That’s almost understandable I guess. Now let’s have the stupid part. He turns around with the chair in his hand and Storm jumps up with a springboard to come at Mahoney.

What does he do you ask? Does he throw the chair at Storm? Does he, oh I don’t know, MOVE? Nope. He puts the chair in front of his face so Storm can kick it into Balls’ head. That was just pathetic looking. On and Candido hits Storm with the chair so he can get the pin and they fight back to the locker room. This has NEVER been done before!

Rating: C+. Other than the freaking idiotic stuff at the end, this was ok. The key thing: for the most part they kept things toned down and had a wrestling match. Since Barely Legal they’ve toned the violence down a good bit and it’s been helping a lot. This was ok and would have been a lot better had the ending not sucked as much.

Ad for the merchandise catalogue and Heat Wave 98. That one’s coming soon.

We have a “Legends” ceremony from earlier. It’s Junkyard Dog, Dick Slater, Masked Superstar (Ax from Demolition) and Bullet Bob Armstrong. You know, a bunch of old NWA guys, because ECW and the NWA got along SO well. This was a nice idea, but when you look at it this was just stupid.

Shane Douglas, who is apparently held together with tape at this point, is brought out to be told about how tough he is. So despite all these injuries, it’s fairly obvious he’ll win tonight. We’ll get to the pure idiocy of this later. He runs down the WWF and Shawn, who had just left with the broken back that kept him out for four and a half years. Oh and he runs Flair down too. If Shane drew in the entire run of ECW what Flair or Shawn drew in a single year, I’d be stunned.

This is just Shane saying how great he is and how tough he is and how tonight might be his last match. Taz comes out to tease their showdown. Nope, we’ve still got another 8 months before that because the top face vs. the top heel isn’t a match we can have when the fans are begging for it of course. We get what might be the first F Bomb on an ECW PPV. Taz demands the Title be handed to him instead of you know, winning it.

Taz does a weird looking choke out that wasn’t the Tazmission and security breaks it up. Like I said, this match wouldn’t happen for EIGHT MONTHS. What they were waiting on is beyond me. Bigelow comes out to fight Taz and that’s broken up too. They handcuff Taz and arrest him for no logical reason as Shane is spitting up blood. I love how Shane runs down Shawn but he’s going to do the same thing: make this big come from behind win over Snow which makes NO sense but they did it anyway so Shane can look awesome all over again.

Oh dang it we have a New Jack match now.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. New Jack

GAH IT’S THIS STUPID SONG!!! Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? New Jack is going to get destroyed other than some weapons shots because the guy can’t wrestle a freaking match to save his life but hey, let’s play his song while he’s getting killed. Yep, 30 seconds in and we have weapons. Why is this appealing at all? It’s just mindless violence that has no business being called wrestling.

Bigelow is better than this on so many levels and it’s not even funny. We’re in the crowd now as that song is still playing. Bigelow just throws chairs at him as this is supposed to be entertaining. I get that some fans want this, but it makes the whole company look amateurish as a result. If this was still a regional promotion, this would be just fine. But it’s not a regional company anymore.

They wanted to go national but they can’t let go of the hardcore nonsense and it’s really hurting the product quite a bit. This is going to get at least ten minutes of about three hours. And New Jack jumps off a balcony with a guitar shot to Bigelow’s head. So even though that should likely kill both of them, the fans cheer.

And now let’s just lay around for awhile because that’s a great use of PPV time. Ok to be fair almost all wrestling companies do the laying around thing. Bigelow hits the Greetings From Asbury Park which doesn’t connect at all but whatever. At least it’s over.

Rating: F. I get why it’s here, but it still sucked and was completely worthless. At least we get Welcome to the Jungle. I hate these matches or whatever they are.

We see Dreamer and Sandman getting beaten up by the Dudleys set to a ballad of all things. That was odd.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Sandman cuts off the always funny Gertner entrance but the song makes up for it a bit. Beaulah is about as close to perfect as you can get. This is another “grudge” match where the grudge was developed between PPVs with no explanation as to what started it or any useless information like that. I get that Sandman’s entrance is cool, but they need to cut a minute or two out of it as it just goes on forever. Yep this is going to be a massive brawl because it’s been a full 4 minutes since we saw one of those.

And there’s the first table and my eyes roll immediately. This of course devolves into a massive brawl that has no semblance of anything noteworthy at all. We get some great shots of Beaulah and that’s about it. Sandman leaves because of his neck and after about five minutes of Tommy being murdered, Spike more or less replaces Sandman.

He gets a 3D for trying to save Beaulah but Sandman comes back in a neck brace. Yeah because he was able to see the doctor and the doctor released him inside of five minutes I guess. A pair of DDTs end this and the Dudleys lose.

Rating: D-. Only reason this isn’t failing is I’ve always thought Beaulah was beyond sexy. This was just ridiculous as Dreamer survived what should have killed him to come back and be fine. It was just a total mess and it wasn’t entertaining for the most part. They had no idea what to do with the Dudleys at this point.

So Sabu had a TV Title shot here tonight against Bigelow and he sent RVD, his partner, in to beat Bigelow up a bit but Van Dam wound up winning the title, leading to this. That’s actually decent.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Something tells me we’re going to have a ton of weapons here and I base that on the fact that it’s a Sabu match. Van Dam gets on the mic after they feel each other out a bit and says this isn’t going to happen and it was a plan. Sabu of course goes after him anyway and makes the speech completely pointless. They actually go four minutes with no weapons. That has to be a record of some kind for Sabu.

We go back to the ring at about 8 minutes in for a change of pace. Oh never mind the chair is there with him. And hey we go back to the floor AGAIN. Joey talks about how brutal it is. I couldn’t agree more. In an impressive spot, Van Dam manages to crotch himself on the guard rail when there’s no guard rail underneath him. Joey: Sabu is deadly at throwing chairs. That can’t be a good sign.

Sabu of course kicks out of the Van Daminator and the Five Star because that’s perfectly reasonable. We’ve been going about half an hour now and I think I know what’s coming. I know this isn’t a lot of text for that long of a match but it’s been about 15 minutes of them just wasting time or laying around or setting up tables and chairs.

There’s been more or less nothing of note here and I’m sure some ECW fan will explain to me that I just don’t get this match and why it’s so great. I’d love one day to watch one of these shows with an ECW fan and hear them try to defend it. Sabu kicks out of the Five Star through a table. Yep that’s perfectly realistic. The move known as Starship Pain gets two and then Sabu gets two and the bell rings for the STUPID time limit draw. They yell at each other for a long time.

Rating: D. There were some interesting drama spots near the end but for the most part this match sucked. There was so much time spent laying around and ridiculous kicking out of moves that it just stopped being interesting. Most of it was on the floor and Sabu of course botched half of what he did. This was ridiculous and the third match in a row that was stupid, and considering the obvious ending coming up, this isn’t going to be a highly received show.

We hear from Shane who reminds us that he’s VERY hurt. We get WAY too long of a recap of Shane’s career and a quick thing from Snow saying he’ll win.

ECW World Title: Al Snow vs. Shane Douglas

So Snow is more or less the hottest thing in the company’s history as everyone likes him and he’s having the best matches of his career. Shane is hurt beyond belief here so to have him win would tick off the audience and completely bury Snow more or less guarantees that Shane will keep the belt here. This starts off like a good showdown match: with both guys being in control for a good while.

This is actually decent stuff with both guys only using a chair. Snow actually kicks out of the belly to belly suplex which anywhere else would be nothing but here it’s a big deal apparently. There’s also no interference for the most part until the locker room empties to watch the match. After a Francine run in, Snow goes up top for a sunset flip which completely misses and Shane drops down for the pin.

The fans go DEAD. I mean they are as quiet as any fans ever have been in ECW history. This was just stupid booking and you can tell Joey thinks so too. This would have been like Austin losing to Michaels at Mania 14.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. The problem was that Heyman had booked himself into a corner as he had Taz vs. Shane which he had to build to but Snow was WAY more over than both guys and should have won the title here. However, it had to be about Shane again who no one cared about other than like 8 people. Again, he held the title EIGHT more months after this, FINALLY losing it to Taz in January before leaving a little while later.

The problem was that Snow or Taz should have had the title but by the time they pulled the trigger with Taz the company was in major trouble. Snow was literally on Raw the next night and not seen in ECW again, and why should he have been? He just lost the biggest push of his career and was more or less crippled so that Shane Douglas could get another big push. And people wonder why ECW isn’t around today.

Overall Rating: F. This show was just bad as NOTHING happened here. Seriously, the TV Title match goes to a draw, Heyman’s idiocy eats Al Snow for a solid meal, the Storm/Candido feud is STILL going on and burying a team at a time, Sandman and Dreamer beat the best team in the company despite one being in a neck brace and Credible is apparently cool for beating up a comedy champion.

What was the point here? The Snow thing is just inexcusable, period. It’s stupid stuff like this that caused Heyman to be out of business and he should be considering this crap. Oh and someone PLEASE defend RVD vs. Sabu. I want you to.

Lockdown 2011
Date: April 17, 2011
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’ve finally arrived here at the second biggest show of the year for TNA.  The main event is the world title triple threat with Sting vs. Anderson vs. RVD in something eerily similar to what happened on 10-10-10.  As you probably know, the catch here is that every match is in a cage.  I had a chance to go to this but after the mess that was Victory Road I passed.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main three matches: the title match, Lethal Lockdown and Kurt vs. Jeff.  I really hope the last of those three ends tonight.  There’s a theme of blood in the video which I think we’ll see a lot of tonight.

Chris Sabin vs. Robbie E vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Jay Lethal vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Suicide

Winner is #1 contender.  Pin/submission until we get down to two and then it’s escape.  This is the Xscape match.  Get it?  The guys have to tag in and out here which is actually a big upgrade in this.  I’m not going to try to keep track of who is in there and what is going on, at least not at the beginning.  Jeremy vs. Lethal at the moment with Lethal in control.  Lethal Combination puts Jeremy down but it’s off to Max and Suicide.

GOOD NIGHT Cookie is loud.  Robbie comes in and goes after the arm of Suicide….getting the pin with it.  Well that was unexpected.  The fans boo loudly at that and it’s Jersey vs. Jersey.  Robbie tags out to Sabin and both guys get beaten down.  Shelley is back soon apparently.  Sabin and Lethal have a nice crisp sequence and Red makes a blind tag.  Missile dropkick to Sabin but Red can’t kick Lethal.  Handspring elbow is blocked and Red grabs a sunset bomb out of nowhere to get us down to six.

If you’re confused, Lethal and Suicide are out and the Bucks, Sabin, Red, Robbie and Kendrick are left.  Red is tossed into the air and lands on the top.  The flippies can’t save him though as Cradle Shock (love that move) and a big running clothesline get us down to five.  Max comes in and if it sounds like this is in fast forward it’s more or less because it is.  Kendrick is sitting down bobbing his head back and forth as usual.

Max rolls up Sabin to put him out and it’s off to Kendrick.  He has a robe on and Robbie runs him over.  Both guys go out after Kendrick hits a big old cross body and it’s time for Buck vs. Buck.  Jeremy GOES OFF on Max, ramming him into the cage multiple times and getting a Trouble in Paradise kick.  Multiple right hands follow and Max grabs a CHEAP rollup to put Jeremy out.  I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet for a pin in my life.

Final three are Max Buck, Kendrick and Robbie.  The two heels lawn dart Kendrick into the cage which wakes him up somehow.  He massacres both guys with a ton of kicks and various other offense.  A big kick puts Robbie out and we’re down to Max vs. Kendrick, escape to win.  Kendrick tries to climb out but gets caught, allowing Max to take over for a bit.  Max rams Kendrick in a bunch of times which doesn’t seem to hurt him.  They fight on the top rope with Kendrick shoving him off and going up.  Max shoves the referee into Kendrick to knock him down and climbs out in record time to end it.  Totally wrong winner.

Rating: C. Match went too long here and the crowd is thoroughly killed because of it.  Not a bad match but the problem again is that this takes too long to get through seven different eliminations.  It could have been worse but at the same time they didn’t have a huge spotfest which is what a match like this is supposed to be.  Not bad, but not what it should have been.

The announcers run down the card but gets cut off by Bischoff who is in a t-shirt and jeans which is a rare look for him.  His arms are bulging out of the shirt.  Tenay and Taz bicker like an old married couple over the first bit of Eric’s talking.  He says he’s going to tell us why he’s here in a few minutes.  People come up to him and ask him what matters most about this business and he’s going to tell us.  Great heat on Bischoff here.

Tonight is special because Immortal is going to take care of Fourtune.  The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and I agree.  Bischoff sucks up to Hogan (big pop for his name) who is going to get the world title back in his grasp.  Bischoff gets to play a small role in that and that is all that matters to him.  Total waste of about 7 minutes which I’m sure if foreshadowing to something.

Steiner and Crimson are getting ready and Crimson says he’s glad Scott is watching his back.  Steiner rambles incoherently of course.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal.  I think this is one fall to a finish.  Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning.  Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff.  Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly.  Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up.  Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again.  The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two.  Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough.  Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either.  After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar.  Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around.  He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys.  Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in.  He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner.  Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights.  And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t-bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again.  Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win.  I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR!  Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute.  The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd.  Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best.  Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

Madison tells Tara to stay in the back for the match tonight.

We recap Madison vs. Mickie.  Basically Madison has been champion forever and beat Mickie earlier in the year.  This is title vs. hair.  Madison and Tara ran Mickie down with a motorcycle so Mickie’s shoulder is hurt.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off.  At least the girls both look great.  Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds.  Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

Matt Morgan says he’s going to get back on track tonight and Carbon Footprint Hernandez back to Mexico.  Please let this be the ending to this stupid feud.

We recap Joe vs. Pope with the whole Okato stuff which was idiotic beyond belief.  In short, Pope was caught doing naughty things with his donations as Joe had a Japanese friend of his named Okada (later Okato) film him.  Pope beat up Okato and this is their 3^rd or 4^th match.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is in red and blue which is an odd look on him.  The Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant is always cool to hear.  Pope hits a powerslam which is no sold as Joe drills Pope with ease.  Tenay says that it’s all about the strikes with the Samoan SUBMISSION Machine.  Pope gets what looked like a low blow to finally slow down the rampaging Joe.  Joe gets a chop in and Pope tries to run.  The key word there is try as they wind up on top of the cage and a headbutt sends Pope’s balls into the top rope.

That hole in the cage they use for the camera is always awesome.  As Joe hits some face washes the camera goes wide again for no apparent reason.  Joe comes with a running kick but Pope pulls the referee in the way to avoid it.  Pope fights up and lands some crossface shots to take over.  We hit the chinlock with Joe in some trouble.  Joe fights up and tries a sleeper, only to get caught in an STO for two.

ENOUGH WITH THE WIDE SHOT ALREADY!  Snap powerslam by Joe and both guys are down so we go wide again.  This is getting annoying.  They slug it out with Joe winning by slapping harder.  Big Boot by the big fat tub of goo sets up a backsplash for two.  Leg lariat off the top gets two.  Muscle Buster hits but Pope gets his foot on the ropes.

Pope goes up and gets his tights pulled down in the process.  He finally pulls them up and knocks Joe to the mat.  Top rope elbow gets one and a Codebreaker gets two.  DDE is caught because it’s an awful finisher and Joe sends him into the cage.  Muscle Buster sets up the Clutch and it’s over.  Well that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far and it was just ok at best.  Now please, LET THIS BE OVER.  The feud has been a waste of the last four months for both guys and the matches haven’t been anything special.  This wasn’t anything great overall but it wasn’t too bad.  The right guy won at least so it has that going for it.

Christy tries to talk to Mexican America and they do the usual thing of talking half in English and half in Spanish.  Just get this over with.

We recap the Morgan vs. Hernandez feud.  In short, Morgan is awesome and Hernandez is being a jerk and they used to be partners.  That’s about all there is to it.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Battle of the giants here even though one of the giants is 6’2.  I’m not sure how well that plays but they both look big so it works out fine.  Anarquia reaches through the cage to pull Morgan’s leg and give Hernandez the advantage.  Hernandez hammers away and we hit the nerve hold.  Dude get your racial stereotypes straight.  That’s a Samoan move.

Basically they’re having a regular match in a cage which is part of the problem with this show every year.  Running shoulder in the corner by Hernandez and he poses a lot again.  Either Morgan is legit hurt or Hernandez is really stupid as he’s walked around for about 30 seconds now.  Morgan pops up with a discus lariat to put both guys down for a bit.

Here’s Morgan’s comeback which is just ok.  Backdrop suplex gets two.  Hernandez ends that with something like a headbutt to the ribs for two.  Morgan avoids a charge to send Hernandez into the cage.  The girls climb up on the cage as does Anarquia.  Down goes the dude and Hernandez tries to come off the top.  Morgan catches him with a really bad looking Carbon Footpring to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match here again as nothing worked in it again.  Morgan never got anything going for the most part and the ending was weak looking.  Again though the right guy won and hopefully that ends the feud.  Boring match again as one more time I’m glad I didn’t go to this show.

The girls complain about TNA and America cheating them again.  They say they should be Knockout Champion and that they’re better than everyone.  After they complain a lot here’s Velvet to beat them both up.  She throws them out and that’s about it.

Karen says Jeff Jarrett is awesome and she has nothing to be worried about.

We recap Kurt vs. Jarrett.  Basically it’s because of Karen who blames Kurt for all kinds of problems and legitimately married Kurt’s boss.  This feud has gone on FOREVER (some of you may be noticing a pattern here) and hopefully it ends here.  This is one of those instances where they’re trying to make real life into an angle and while it’s interesting, that doesn’t mean it should be done.  There was a wedding ceremony that Kurt busted up with an ax which was awesome.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his singlet.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

We recap the world title match.  Basically Sting came back to win the title and screw over Hogan in the process.  RVD was stripped of the title last year due to being injured by Abyss.  Anderson is ticked off by not getting a one on one title rematch.  There’s a possibility that someone is joining Immortal also but it’s really not clear.  Hogan has declared war apparently.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson gets in both guys’ faces and is drilled for his efforts.  Stinger Splash in the corner sets up the Scorpion a minute in but RVD breaks it up.  Van Dam fights Sting for a bit until Anderson pulls the rope down to send Rob into the cage.  Sting fights both of them and puts the Scorpion on both guys at the same time.  It’s as out there as it seems.  They both get the ropes as I’m not entirely sure how effective that move would have had but it was a nice idea at least.

Van Dam and Sting collide and everyone is down.  Neckbreaker to Van Dam gets two.  Double Mic Check has everyone down.  It gets two on both guys twice each.  Only in wrestling is 2+2+2+2 not good enough to get to 3.  Van Dam kicks Anderson down and the Five Star gets two.  So we’ve now established that 8 and 5 aren’t worth three.

Double clothesline puts everyone down……and here’s Hogan.  Hogan hands RVD the pipe and RVD takes it.  He isn’t sure what to do with it so he throws it at Hogan.  Anderson picks it up and pops RVD with it, shouting at Hogan that it was for him and not for Hogan.  Sting sneaks up on him and gets the Death Drop on Anderson to retain.  Yep that’s really it.

Rating: C. This was SHORT.  It wasn’t any good either but that’s beside the point.  There were more references to Brooke Hogan than anything else for the most part here.  Not a terrible match but dude, I was expecting something epic here and again it was rather short.  Not much of a match at all as it was mainly finishers and laying down.  Granted I’m not a fan of three ways for the most part but this felt like something that belonged on Impact and not a major PPV.

Hogan says he and Sting will go at it on his time.  Why do I have a feeling that’s Bound For Glory?

Immortal vs. Foutune

Lethal Lockdown here.  It’s Wargames for you old school fans.  Fourtune is Roode, Storm, Kaz and Daniels.  Immortal is Bully Ray, Matt Hardy, Abyss and Ric Flair.  Yes, Flair is main eventing this show.  Both teams send in a man for five minutes.  After five minutes Immortal sends in their second man for a two minute advantage (they won a best of three series on Impact to earn that).

After two minutes we add in another member of Fourtune to even the odds.  Two minutes after that we add in another member of Immortal to give them a 3-2 advantage.  You alternate every two minutes until it’s 4-4 and then a roof covered in weapons comes down.  Then it’s first fall wins.

We start off with Kaz and Abyss with the monster taking over early via a chokeslam.  Ray keeps shouting mess up his pretty face.  Matt says mangle him.  All Abyss so far until Kaz reverses a shot into the cage and fires off a right hand.  Top rope rana hits as we somehow have done four minutes so far.  Kaz (that has to be close enough for a copyright suit from Taz) hammers down Abyss and it’s Matt in next.

Side Effect misses and Kaz hammers on Matt for as long as he can.  He’s not paying attention to Abyss though as he hits a springboard rotating legdrop to Matt.  Fade to Black is countered as Abyss is back up with 1:20 to go.  Matt gets the Ice Pick (double underhook choke) to Kaz and Abyss pounds away a bit more on top of it.  Matt, ever the genius, lets go of the hold.  Side Effect puts Kaz down as we wait for the next person to come in.

The fourth man in is Daniels who hammers on Abyss.  BME crushes the masked dude and Matt is taken down by a knee from the top.  Fourtune takes over as the fans chant for Flair.  Ask and ye shall receive as Flair is actually going to be in there for awhile.  That man is absolutely insane.  He has to be.  He and Abyss work over Kaz as Matt beats up Daniels.

Storm has some beer before heading in third for his team.  Beer to the face and it’s Codebreakers and Backstabbers all around.  Flair gets on his knees in front of Storm and begs for mercy before having a beer bottle cracked over his head.  Oh yep Flair is busted.  Flair is in a suit without the shirt by the way.  There go his pants and he gets spanked a bit.  Why is it always HIM that this happens to?

Bully Ray is the freaking clean up hitter for Fourtune and Flair is getting more and more undressed as this goes on.  Roode is waiting in the aisle with 45 seconds to go.  Immortal beats them down until Roode comes in to SILENCE.  This crowd has been dead all night.  Roode shouts FOURTUNE and hits a Blockbuster on Abyss.  The roof hasn’t come down yet but as Fourtune takes over here it comes.

Double suplex to Abyss by Beer Money sets up their shout.  The roof coming down takes long enough to let Jeff Hardy get pinned three times.  Don’t bother showing us what’s going on in the ring right now.  We need to see a roof coming down.  Fourtune has weapons and the beating is on.  We go split screen with one screen having a regular shot of the cage where you can see everything.  Brilliant guys.  Brilliant.

Abyss is knocked out through the door and Matt goes up top.  I really hope he doesn’t break the roof.  Daniels goes up with him as Flair screams a lot.  Daniels loads up Angel’s Wings but Matt blocks hit.  He backdrops Daniels who literally has to grab the roof to hang on with his legs off the cage.  Storm throws the door open to give his feet something to grip on.  Matt hits the Twist of Hate as Flair is literally covered in blood.  MATT FALLS OFF THE CAGE.  I mean he flew off and they didn’t show him afterwards.  That’s scary stuff man.

A bunch of near falls follow and Roode gets a spinebuster on Flair for two.  Daniels dives off the cage onto Abyss and Matt who thankfully were there to catch him.  How is Matt still live?  Roode puts the Figure Four on Flair but Roode makes the save at the last second.  Flair and Ray take their turns with kendo sticks on everyone as Daniels is somehow back in the ring.

Ray says this is for your good friend AJ which brings AJ himself out to the ring for the big beatdown on Ray.  Well there’s your match next month at whatever the next PPV is.  Everyone beats on Flair and Roode throws on an armbar for the surprisingly quick tap out.  Well at least there wasn’t a major turn.

Rating: B. Good match here with some flat out scary shots.  The problem here was that they got caught in the same trap that they always did in this match: the opening WarGames stuff means nothing once we get down to the weapons part.  The spots were enough to make your jaw drop but it wasn’t the best match in the series.  Granted these aren’t usually great.  The ending made sense with AJ making his return, but it was kind of expected.

Overall Rating: D+. Well this was disappointing.  It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and is light years ahead of Victory Road (this had an actual main event) but it was nothing compared to what they had built it up to be.  The world title is more or less a throwaway match which is never a god thing.  The main event is ok because it was a major gimmick match but it was nothing great.  The dead crowd didn’t help things either.

The whole thing felt weak to me and that’s certainly not a good thing given what they’ve been doing the past few months.  Disappointing show and a sign of things to come I’m afraid.  Also, this points to more Hogan and Bischoff being the focus of the show, which doesn’t do a thing for newcomers, which is what they need right now.

Results

Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck, Amazing Red, Chris Sabin, Brian Kendrick, Robbie E, Jay Lethal and Suicide – Buck escaped the cage

Ink Inc b. Scott Steiner/Crimson, Orlando Jordan/Eric Young and British Invasion – Mooregasm to Williams

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Samoa Joe b. D’Angelo Dinero – Koquina Clutch

Matt Morgan b. Hernandez – Carbon Footprint

Jeff Jarrett b. Kurt Angle – Jarrett escaped the cage

Sting b. Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop to Anderson

Fourtune b. Immortal – Roode made Flair submit to a Fujiwara Armbar

Impact
Date: April 14, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Hogan’s Law

It’s the final show before Lockdown and most of the card is set.  Tonight is likely going to be just the final push to the show which is standard operating procedure.  We’ll also likely see Hogan and Immortal trying to go after Anderson for him double crossing them last week and also more development in the three way feud for the world title.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the three way feud stuff from last week, including Anderson being the referee for the non-title main event.  The most important thing though is Anderson screwing over Hogan and Immortal and Hogan being furious.

Here’s Immortal in full force to open the show.  Gunner has the TV Title in his teeth.  Hogan says there’s nothing but top level talent here but he wants to get rid of the strength of rotten garbage.  He calls out Anderson and here he comes.  Wow Anderson looks really skinny here for some reason.  Hogan says that he’s tired of Anderson doing things the hard way and he’s going to make an example out of him.

Anderson goes off on Immortal, talking about how they’re all just riding their coattails and no one respects Hogan.  Especially Bischoff who made his entire career off of Hogan.  Wow that’s cutting a bit close.  Anderson sets to say his line and Hogan I think slaps him down and the beating is on.  With Immortal holding him in place, Hogan gets in Anderson’s face and says he’s going to take Anderson out tonight, because he’s “the baddest mamma jamma in this place.”  Anderson spits in Ray’s face and gets drilled by the Bully.

Velvet yells at Winter and wants to know what Winter has done to her.  Winter says that Angelina can make her own decisions.  Velvet says she’s going to call Angelina out herself and if it’s not accepted she’ll come drag Angelina out there herself.

Back with Immortal celebrating but Bischoff is a bit upset.  He just got a call from the Network and they want a best of 3 series between Immortal and Fourtune with the winner getting an advantage in the Lethal Lockdown match on Sunday.  Hogan says Bischoff was supposed to take care of the Network and gets on him about it.

Jesse Neal vs. Douglas Williams vs. Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan

Winner gets….a win I guess.  All of the partners are at ringside and Moore gets after Steiner.  Orlando looks to be in a purple dress for lack of a better term.  Neal vs. Williams to start but the British dude tags in Jordan quickly.  Side slam gets two and it’s off to Crimson vs. Neal.  T-Bone suplex gets two but Neal hits his spear on Crimson.  Moore keeps making fun of Steiner and distracting Neal.  Moore finally pushes him and the fight is on.  Steiner goes out to help him so we’re down to a three way.

Crimson goes off to help but here’s Abyss to jump Crimson.  Magnus and Young fight on the floor as Abyss rips up the railing.  Chokeslam onto the guardrail leaves Crimson laying as the match is down to Jordan vs. Williams for all intents and purposes.  Jordan grinds on Williams and gets a clothesline for two.  Young and Magnus come in which goes nowhere as Jordan hits something like Cross Rhodes (called the Gender Bender) to end it at 3:35.

Rating: D. Considering the fact that about seventy five percent of this match was spent on the stuff outside and what you saw in the ring was nothing special at all, what are you supposed to say here?  Weak match to build to a match that really shouldn’t be in a cage.  It’s always a problem with Lockdown but rarely a big one.  Weak match though.

Bully Ray comes in to tell RVD that Hogan is going to make him an offer where the grass is greener and there are fewer seeds.  I don’t get weed jokes but I guess that makes sense.

Matt Hardy vs. Kazarian

This is match #1 in the aforementioned best of three series.  Team Immortal is here with Matt.  The series is for the initial advantage in Lethal Lockdown.  Fourtune comes out with Kaz but Hebner sends them away and does the same to Immortal.  Flair freaks out and wants to fight Hebner.  Kaz grabs some rollups to start but only gets two on both.  Kaz charges but is sent to the apron where Matt kicks the rope for a low blow on the way back in.

Neckbreaker gets two as they’re moving rather quickly out there.  I guess Matt is moving due to the lack of dreads out there.  Matt focuses on the neck of Kaz, hitting the slingshot into the middle rope for two.  Later we get Storm vs. Abyss and Roode vs. Flair.  Cravate works on the neck even more but the Twist of Hate is reversed into a backslide for two.  Side Effect doesn’t work and Kaz grabs a pinning combination for another two.

Side Effect gets two and there’s another one.  Matt goes up but misses a moonsault to give Kaz a breather.  Forearm by Kazarian and here’s the comeback.  Hogan is going to force Anderson to run the Immortal gauntlet.  Springboard legdrop gets two for Kaz and Fade to Black (called Kryptonite Crunch by Taz) is reversed.  Missile dropkick gets two as Matt gets his foot on the rope.  They go to the corner and Matt shoves Hebner into the ropes, allowing him to grab Kaz in a double underhook bodyscissors hold for the pass out/submission.  Hard to tell but the hold is called the Ice Pick and it ends this at 5:16.

Rating: B-. I liked this actually.  They were moving out there and we got a lot of near falls and close finishes.  I’m really not sure what the point is in having the X Champion lose clean like that and get in next to no offense other than a quick flurry but he’s a Hardy so I guess he has to be made to look strong.  Pretty decent match here.

Madison is upset about something and Tara says just get it over with.

Back with Madison and Tara in the ring.  Madison says she hasn’t been able to sleep for a week over what happened last week.  She would have done something different: she would have backed up and run her over again.  Tara doesn’t like this that much.  Then Madison would have slapped Tara for questioning here.  Tara is getting too comfortable in her role so Madison reminds her that she works for Madison.  If Tara doesn’t chill, she’s going to be back selling lip gloss.

Tara has something to say but Mickie comes out instead.  She’s in a sling and has a separated shoulder.  TNA needs to really stop having Titantron videos playing during promos as they’re really distracting.  Mickie goes nuts and says she’s going to put Madison through more pain on Sunday than Mickie went through.  Sunday she’s going to take Madison out and get back at her for the last six months.  Very solid and intense promos here.

Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle

Always a good sign to throw feuds into one match.  It’s the best possible way to get a bunch of them built at once and works almost every time.  That wasn’t sarcasm if it sounded like it.  Jarrett and Angle start us off here which is rather surprising.  Jarrett runs and tags in Hernandez maybe 10 seconds in.  We take a break after about 15 seconds.

Back with Morgan throwing the rapid fire elbows to Pope’s head in the corner.  Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint but Pope takes the leg out and Morgan is in trouble.  Off to Hernandez who hammers away but a discus clothesline sends Morgan down and brings in Kurt.  Kurt is taken down by a simple boot to the ribs and Hernandez goes up top.  You don’t go up top against Kurt and Angle gets the running belly to belly to send Hernandez down.

Off to Joe and Jarrett as Joe cleans house.  Quick powerslam gets two for Joe but Pope breaks up a cross armbreaker.  Muscle Buster to Pope is blocked twice as Jarrett breaks it up.  Jeff throw Joe to the floor but runs into Kurt.  They run off to the back as Hernandez gets a slingshot shoulder block to take Joe down.  Border Toss is reversed into the Clutch but Pope comes off the top with an elbow to break it up.  Morgan back in as the tagging is completely abandoned.  Anarquia throws Hernandez some brass knuckles but Morgan takes him down.  Pope gets them and knocks Joe out cold for the pin at 9:20 total.

Rating: C-. Kind of a mess here but it got to the ending which is the right idea.  Also keeping Angle and Jeff from having any actual contact is always a good thing.  Not a terrible match but nothing all that great.  At least they built up the three matches the right way and it worked well enough.

The heels leave Morgan and Joe laying.

The Jarretts try to leave but Karen says she forgot her purse.  Jeff says screw it but she runs after it anyway, only to run into Kurt.  Jeff leaves without her and Kurt says what a great pick for a husband and leaves her there.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff.  Hulk calls RVD to the ring and lays it on thick, talking about how this is the new RVD who is all aggressive.  Hogan saw what happened last week where RVD pinned the TNA Champion, which was awesome.  Here’s Sting to say that what Hogan said was a lie.  Sting talks about how RVD needs to earn it and he won’t do that in Immortal.  If he beats Sting cleanly cool, but if it’s not clean it’s over Sting’s dead body.  RVD leaves.

Bischoff talks to Sting now and says that Hogan has been working Sting for his entire career and that Checkmate is in Sting’s future.  Sting disagrees, saying Checkmate is his.  He drills Bischoff in the ribs and hits the Death Drop on him.  Hogan is scared to death as he’s in a back braces still.  Sting says it’ll be on his time, not Hogan’s.

Abyss vs. James Storm

Abyss has new music.  Storm goes right at him, spitting beer in the face and we hit the floor early.  Apparently on Sunday the Angle/Jarrett match is now 2/3 falls.  First is pin, second is submission and third is escape only.  That match just got even more awesome.  Back in the ring and Abyss gets a big boot to take him down.

Storm pops up and hammers away, finally taking him down with a forearm.  Top rope cross body gets two and Storm counters a chokeslam into a Codebreaker and a Backstabber for two.  Chokeslam gets two and Abyss is surprised.  Shock Treatment and the Last Call both miss and the Black Hole Slam gets the pin clean at 3:50.  Immortal wins the man advantage.

Rating: C+. Nice little big man vs. little man here and it was a pretty surprising ending as you don’t have the predicted ending of having it go to the third fall.  Power vs. speed is always fun to see and it worked pretty well here.  The ending was a bit odd though as Storm seemed like he kicked out just in time.  Either way, fun little match.

Back with Bischoff talking to the Network and him being all upset about it.  He demands to know who is working with the Network and the Network apparently says in time.  Bischoff demands to know now and gets hung up on.

Here’s Velvet to call out Angelina.  She gets Winter’s music instead and Angelina is here in that trance still.  Velvet shoves/hits her to get her attention but gets speared down.  Angelina gets a chair and DDTs Velvet on it.  No emotion at all from Love here.  Winter beckons Angelina back and they leave together.

We run down the Lockdown card.

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal

This is a gauntlet match.  First up is Murphy who gets a quick clothesline and a slam.  The slam puts Anderson’s leg into the rope and it might be injured.  DDT to the leg and Anderson is in trouble.  And never mind as the Mic Check sends Murphy out quickly.  Rob Terry is in second and Anderson grabs a small package and rollup for two each.  Terry goes after the knee some more and uses basic power.  Mic Check as a reversal ends him also.

In third is the TV Champion in I believe his first match since winning the title.  There’s not a lot to say here as you know Anderson is about to take this one with a quick win also.  Gunner works on the knee in the corner and Anderson is stuck.  Fourth is going to be Bully Ray and he’ll be last.  Anderson gets a boot in the corner and some strikes to set up a spinning neckbreaker for two.  Yep there it is as he sends Gunner into the corner and the Mic Check makes Anderson 3-0.

Finally it’s Bully Ray who hammers away and drops some elbows before hammering on the knee even more.  The fans chant you can’t wrestle at Ray.  There’s a WWE joke in there somewhere.  Anderson gets yelled at a lot and knocked down again.  The back splash from the middle rope of course doesn’t work as Anderson fires in some shots.  He manages to get Ray up in a fireman’s carry despite having a bad knee.  Well of course he can.

They slug it out and Anderson takes over.  Big boot puts him right back down though and Ray throws him to the floor.  Then he drills the referee and takes the fight to the floor.  Ray takes him up the ramp and sets for a powerbomb like he did to AJ a few weeks back.  As he sets for it Hogan comes out dancing a bit and walks to do it instead.  There goes the back brace and he sets for a powerbomb.  Here’s Sting with the bat though for the save.  Abyss pops up and Sting drills him with the bat.  Ray gets the same treatment and Hogan backs off.  We’ll say the match ended when Ray hit the referee so the match ran 9:30.

Rating: D+. Just a standard gauntlet match here with Anderson destroying everyone not named Ray, including the TV Champion, in short order with no real effort at all.  The ending was I guess to further Sting and Hogan which it did for the most part, but the ending made the match worse, which is bad since it wasn’t a terrible match to begin with.

Fourtune talks about how this ends Sunday.  Storm yells about Abyss.

RVD doesn’t say anything.

Anderson says nothing has changed with him and Sting.  He wants more mountains to climb and rants about the title.

Sting says he’ll keep the title on Sunday.

Hogan says Immortal is going to break Sting in half and if he wants a war, he’s got one.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very good go home show as everything was talked about I think.  We got some decent matches in there also and all in all the show worked.  There were some bad parts but at the same time everything worked.  However, this all comes down to Sunday as the PPV has to work right.  It depends on how that show goes to see if this works overall.

Results

Orlando Jordan b. Douglas Williams, Jesse Neal and Crimson – Gender Bender to Williams

Matt Hardy b. Kazarian – Ice Pick

Hernandez/Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero b. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Matt Morgan – Dinero pinned Joe after a punch with brass knuckles

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal went to a no contest

Impact
Date: April 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: The Rise of the Fallen Angel

After two back to back solid shows we now have two shows before Impact and now have the returning Christopher Daniels to replace AJ Styles in Lethal Lockdown.  Also we now have the main event set for the world title match as it’s Sting vs. RVD vs. Anderson which is probably the best option.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Daniels’ return last week and presumably him being named to the Fourtune team at Lockdown.

Here’s Fourtune to open the show.  Daniels talks about how he’s been in and out of TNA a bunch of times now.  He’s had good times and bad times here but that’s not what matters because that’s the wrestling business.  What matters are the friendships you make in the business, like the one he made eight years ago with a guy named AJ Styles.  After seeing what Bully Ray did a few weeks ago, e Hehe knew it was time to come back.  He asks Fourtune if he can be on the team at Lockdown, but before they can answer here’s Immortal.

In this case it’s Flair, Ray, Matt and Abyss.  Flair says this is beyond fixing and rants about how this is wrestling and Daniels is nothing in this business.  There’s an offer to Daniels to leave now because someone is going to get hurt at Lockdown.  Daniels also has no contract so he needs to get out of here because he’s not going to be able to wrestle at the PPV.  Daniels says that Hogan, Flair and Bischoff aren’t going to matter because the Network says they want him here.

Cue Hogan and Bischoff who say that what the Network wants they get, so tonight it’s Daniels vs. Ray.  Ray gets in Daniels’ face and talks about how Daniels should go back to California and put on more makeup.  Daniels drills him and Hogan wants security who comes out and breaks it up.

Anderson is in the back on a laptop but sees a note for him.  It says “Last week was just a trailer.  Tonight it’s SHOWTIME!  Your friend, Stinger”.  He starts singing a version of the theme to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and goes back to his laptop.

Back with Hogan complaining about the Network and he thinks the Network has a wrestler in it because they think like a wrestler.  He slams the door in the face of the cameraman as he rants about them.

Hernandez/Anarquia vs. Tommy Dreamer/D-Von

Well this is kind of an odd team.  Tenay asks who better than Dreamer for D-Von to recruit.  …a lot of people Tenay!  D-Von and Anarquia start but this stops being anything resembling a tag match very quickly.  What’s Up to Anarquia and then everything breaks down even further.  Rosita gets in the ring and D-Von kisses her, which allows Anarquia to pop D-Von with a chair and Hernandez falls on top for the pin at 2:00.  Barely even a match.

Post match the girls roll back the mats on the floor and Hernandez teases a Border Toss to Dreamer to the concrete but Matt Morgan makes the save and we take a break.

Back and Winter is brainwashing Angelina some more.  Winter says she loves her.  Angelina is drinking that drink again.

Samoa Joe vs. Murphy

Pope is on commentary of course.  Murphy jumps him to start as Tenay talks to Pope about the beginning of this angle for some reason.  And the Koquina Clutch ends this in 46 seconds.  Joe chases Pope off.

Anderson is looking for someone but stops to get coffee.  And there’s a note for him there too.  This one says “Tonight let’s finish what we started Kenny Boy.  Stinger.”  Anderson destroys the coffee stuff.

Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Rosita/Sarita

Angelina Love is in a trance here and can’t even do the entrance.  Sarita jumps Velvet as she gets in which doesn’t last long.  Angelina keeps staring forward.  Off to Rosita now who Velvet beats up also.  Angelina doesn’t react to an offer of a tag at all.  Winter comes to the stage and makes a sign of snap her in half so Angelina stuns Velvet over the ropes and hammers away at her.  Rosita gets the easy pin at 2:00.

Anderson is looking for Sting and has a pipe.  He runs into Jordan and Young and Young says Sting is probably in the rafters.  Jordan says he’s into Anderson’s catchphrase thing.

Jeff Jarrett has a Lockdown promise for Angle later.

Back with Anderson searching the rafters for Sting and finds….nothing.  Someone is following him though and the person seems to be kind of tall.  It doesn’t appear to be Sting as the hair is too short.  Oh it’s RVD.  He says it’s 4:20 so Anderson is about to get smoked.  Good looking knees to the face of Anderson as this is a total beating.  RVD falls down carrying him off but locks a modified triangle choke on Anderson who has no room to move around at all in the confined space.  Van Dam says that wouldn’t be enough to beat Sting and chokes Anderson out with the pipe as we go to another break.

After a quick video on RVD and Anderson and a recap of what we just saw, here’s Sting, calling out RVD.  Sting apologizes to RVD for what he did to him last year and says that he’s here to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff.  Hogan and Bischoff make RVD vs. Sting for tonight, presumably non-title.

Tara says Madison is insane and she won’t do what Madison wants her to do.  Madison says Tara has a job because of Madison.  They get on the motorcycle and leave.  No idea where to.

Generation Me/Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick/Chris Sabin/Suicide

Where did they did some of these guys up from?  Sabin vs. Robbie to start and the face team destroys Robbie one by one.  Suicide hammers on Max as there isn’t much to say here.  This is to hype up the X-Division Xscape match at Lockdown.  Off to Kendrick who destroys everything in sight and it all breaks down quickly.  Jeremy sets for something off the top but Max crotches him and DDTs him off the top.  Kendrick steals the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. Just a standard Cruiserweight match with a screwy ending.  I guess we lose another team from the tag team division but hey, I’m sure it’s still awesome because it was at one point right?  Not much of a match but they did what they could in the time given out there.

Hogan yells at Immortal and has Gunner slap Rob Terry and someone else that I couldn’t recognize.  Anderson comes in with the pipe and is tired of getting beaten up every week so he asks Hogan for a favor.  Anderson offers his “support” in exchange for protection and shakes hands with Hogan.  He’s now the referee in the main event and Hogan says take the pipe with you.

We see Madison and Tara leaving Mickie laying and speeding off on the bike.

Back with medics looking at Mickie.

Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels

This is a lumberjack match so we can have our big pull apart brawl.  Ray controls early but Daniels manages to send him to the floor for a bit.  He lands in front of Immortal though so no harm befalls him.  Back in and Ray drills him with some loud chops to take over again.  Ray tries to get the chain in but that gets him nowhere.  Daniels gets an enziguri and a rana to take over.  Running STO sets up the BME which gets the long two as Flair pulls the referee out.  Somehow that isn’t a DQ and the brawl allows Hogan to pop Daniels with the chain for the pin at 6:25.

Rating: D+. The lumberjacks were only there for the very ending.  Other than that they played no role whatsoever which tends to be a problem with TNA gimmick matches: the gimmicks don’t really need to be there but they’re around anyway.  Not much of a match here but it advances Lethal Lockdown well enough I guess.  Nice way to push your big returning star too.

After a break, here’s Jarrett in the cage.  He talks about Kurt being arrested last week like a common street thug.  He says that if the cage match had happened a few months ago, the cops would have arrested him (Jarrett) for hurting Angle.  The kids won’t be visiting Angle in prison because they need more of Daddy Jeff at the moment.

There’s some kind of special entrance set up for Karen but it’s Kurt’s theme instead.  He flies in like Spider-Man and locks the door.  Kurt runs into the cameraman and Jarrett (and Karen who came out) run.  This is all they put the cage up for?

Back and Kurt says he’s going to hurt Jeff at Lockdown.  Oh and the Network says there will be a stipulation for the match.  No word on what that is.

Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

Anderson is referee and this is non-title.  Sting grabs a headlock to start but Van Dam breaks that and gets some kicks from the middle and top rope.  Rolling Thunder gets two.  RVD argues about the count but it was fine.  Stinger Splash gets two and Sting argues a bit also.  There’s the Scorpion Death Drop out of nowhere but Anderson drops Sting with the Mic Check.  He counts them both out and jumps from 1 to 6 and then to 9 in about 3 seconds.  Five Star to Sting ends this at 3:16.

Rating: D. Well this was pointless but it was long enough to warrant a grading.  Was there a point to having RVD get the pin here?  I’d say the same thing about Sting pinning RVD, but I guess this is better than another no contest.  Also we get that Anderson is against both of them, which he was in the first place.

Anderson lays RVD out with the belt and asks Van Dam about the rematch.  Terry and Murphy come out and put Anderson on their shoulders to end the show.  Hogan comes out to clap.  Apparently we’re not done yet as it’s a Mic Check for Terry and Murphy.  Well at least they didn’t go with the obvious ending.  He points the pipe at Hogan and says he’s next.  Hogan rants about Anderson to really end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was almost a chore to sit through.  Now even though most people probably aren’t going to read past the previous sentence, I’m not saying this was a horrible show because they’ve had far worse ones before.  However, you had to matches end in partners turning on each other, two matches ending in weapon shots and other than Immortal and the world title match, almost nothing new happened.  It was a very boring show that dragged really badly which isn’t a good sign in the slightest going into the second biggest show of the year.  Bad show and a disappointment after their last two shows.

Results

Anarquia/Hernandez b. D-Von/Tommy Dreamer – Hernandez pinned D-Von after a chair shot from Anarquia

Samoa Joe b. Murphy – Koquina Clutch

Rosita/Sarita b. Beautiful People – Rosita pinned Sky after Love attacked Sky

Chris Sabin/Brian Kendrick/Suicide b. Generation Me/Robbie E – Kendrick pinned Jeremy Buck after a DDT from Max Buck

Impact
Date: March 31, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: R-V-Damed!!!

So we’ve got three more shows before Lockdown which seems like a lot for some reason.  It’s nice to have them focusing on a PPV instead of a TV show though as this gives us something to look forward to at the PPV.  Last week’s show gives me some hope for this week although I really hope we won’t get another #1 contender’s match tonight.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the #1 contender’s match last week with Anderson getting disqualified.  Sting claims he didn’t call for the bell so Anderson accuses Sting of being afraid to face him.

In the arena and Anderson more or less runs Earl Hebner to the ring.  Anderson gets in Hebner’s face, yelling at him about ringing the bell and handing the match to RVD.  Hebner says that Anderson needs to show respect to the striped shirt and that Anderson was disqualified for disrespecting Sting, the referee last week.  Hebner says the decision stands and  if Anderson tries anything or disrespects him then Anderson will be suspended for 90 days period.

Hebner tries to leave but Anderson grabs him and sets for the Mic Check.  Hebner’s son, fellow referee Brian Hebner, comes out for the save so Anderson says go for it.  Anderson wants to know if Earl is going to screw him over now too since that’s what he does.  Earl pulls his fist back until Sting comes down for the save.  Sting says pick on him instead and Anderson says this is his country.  Sting drills him and the security comes out to pull them apart.

Cue RVD, now complete with his memory, comes out and says he doesn’t want the win like that and tells Hebner to make it a threeway at Lockdown.  He can’t do that though, but apparently he can make it stand?  Makes sense actually.  Cue Hogan to say ok let’s do that.  What a shock: the #1 contender’s match again meant nothing.  Bischoff has a ratings idea so tonight it’s the three in the ring vs. Flair’s team of Abyss, Matt and Bubba in a cage.  Sting and Anderson brawl as we go to a break.

Back and Anderson has no comment.

RVD says he likes having everyone in the ring at once because he can take care of all of them at once.

Sting says he’ll get an apology for the disrespect from Anderson.

Shannon Moore vs. Scott Steiner up next.  As Gorilla would say “A main event anywhere in the world.”

Shannon says he’s the new generation and he disrespected Steiner because he has no respect for Steiner.

Steiner says that’s not disrespect.  If he wanted to disrespect Shannon he’d spend the night with his girlfriend.  This is going to be a beatdown, not a match.

Bubba says that he’s not wanting to talk about AJ and he lets his attitude do the talking.  There’s a chip on his shoulder and Hogan wants to borrow it.  Ok then.

Jordan and Young are on their way to the ring.  I guess they’re up next now.

The Jarretts are talking to Hogan and Bischoff, more or less begging to call off the Angle match.  Didn’t Angle say he’d get the Jarretts if he tried to do this?  There’s a Rob Terry thing apparently to take care of Angle.  Hogan calls Karen the key to this.

Scott Steiner vs. Shannon Moore

Orlando Jordan and Eric Young are on commentary here…just because I guess.  Crimson and Neal are here as seconds.  Young has an announcement and they’re going to be in a four way tag match at Lockdown.  Steiner/Crimson vs. Ink Inc vs. Jordan/Young vs. a mystery team.  Jordan is dressed like a peacock.  I’ve got nothing.  Young says the mystery team might be Demolition.  That would be awesome.

Moore tries to run and gets thrown back in by Crimson to let the beating begin.  Steiner is destroying him here wit his power stuff.  The referee gets in the way a bit as Steiner drops Moore with a back elbow.  Belly to belly gets two.  Young speculates on the Beverly Brothers.  It’s always fun to hear obscure names like those dropped.  Moore gets in a shot to the leg and does some pushups to tick Scott off.

Shannon puts on Steiner’s headgear but misses a moonsault.  There are all kinds of sexual jokes from Jordan and Young here, none of which are really all that funny.  Steiner wakes up and starts the proper squashing here.  Frankensteiner from the top ends this at 4:25.  Was there ever any real doubt as to the ending?

Rating: D. Boring match here as Steiner was never in any real danger and it was just a step past an extended squash.  Nothing of note here at all but at least we got some wrestling here.  At least this stupid feud is mostly over now though.  I still don’t get the appeal of Moore and I never have.

Jordan and Young with Jordan in rainbow wings and what can best be described as feather briefs, go to the ring to congratulate the winners but are jumped by Doug Williams and Brutus Magnus who apparently are the fourth team.  Good job with Williams guys: from a face that is stealing the show with AJ to a heel in the same generic tag team he was in years ago.

Back with Anderson talking to a poster of himself.  The poster says that he won’t apologize to Sting.

The Jarretts are complaining about Anderson being on the poster.  HEY!  Did you know that ANDERSON is supposed to be the star of this show?  Didn’t know if they made that clear enough with his three of four appearances in 40 minutes.  Karen is mad at Jeff in case the plan doesn’t work and he has to face Kurt at Lockdown.  Jeff says it’s ok.

We recap Generation Me being awesome but apparently Jeremy has turned on Max and Max isn’t happy about it.  This is about one trying to get the title at the last PPV.

Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck

Jeremy is mad about Max stealing the glory.  They go incredibly fast paced of course with Max being sent to the floor.  Jeremy invites Max back into the ring which is accepted.  Jeremy tries a handshake but is pulled into a headlock.  We’re getting a lot of quick covers and counters here but now Max is getting all ticked off.  Rana by Jeremy gets two.

Max sends him to the floor and Jeremy might have hurt his elbow.  Now Max holds the ropes open for Jeremy just like Jermy did for him earlier.  Max kicks him in the head though and adds a jumping flipping cutter from the top rope to end this at 4:00.  Cool finisher to say the least.

Rating: C. Pretty fun match here but the feud just came and went.  We haven’t heard from them since the PPV, they have a random match on Impact and now they’re done.  I guess that’s all there is to this though so at least it’s done.  Fun match with lots of fast spots so a nice alternative to the previous match.

Fourtune is here and are happy about someone arriving at an airport.

Back with Winter giving Angelina a drink and talking to her about Velvet.  Methinks hijinks are afoot with that cup.

We recap the Angelina and Winter stuff with Velvet not being able to see her at first and then Winter being all psycho protective over Angelina.  We get what is probably the 6^th use of the word witch in 50 minutes during this.

Winter vs. Velvet Sky

The match starts after the break.  Back with the bell and Velvet charging straight at Winter.  Lots of shoulders into the corner follow and Velvet is in control.  Never mind as it’s off to Winter as Taz babbles about how hot they look and something about Lelani Kai.  Winter keeps up the beating and gets a backbreaker for two.  Velvet comes back and gets some clothesline to take Winter down.  Bulldog puts her down again but Angelina comes down the aisle.  She’s all trance like as Winter drills Velvet.  A spinning backbreaker sets up a kind of choke to end Velvet at 3:57.  Angelina continues to just stand there and not move.

Rating: D. Pretty weak match here as the drink thing gave away the ending.  At least they’re finally going somewhere with the Winter being weird thing so at least we get some advancement other than Velvet and her whining every 8 seconds.  Weak match but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Here’s Anderson….again.  He calls out Sting and sucker punches him.  They brawl some more and go into the crowd.  After about two minutes, Immortal comes out for he beat down to get the advantage for the cage match later tonight.  Van Dam FINALLY comes out for the save and beats on Ray a bit.  He lets Immortal hammer on Anderson after saving Sting.  RVD leaves Anderson to the wolves.  Immortal throws Anderson to Sting who pops him and chases off Immortal.

The Jarretts pretend that Angle is attacking them on the phone, I’m assuming to the police.

Angle is up next against some mystery guy.  Gee I wonder if it could be the guy that Hogan mentioned by name as a potential solution for Kurt.

Back with Flair talking about how awesome Immortal is and how there’s no point to the match tonight as it’s a team against three individuals.  All three people talk about how awesome Immortal is.

Velvet complains about Winter and says you don’t come to TNA to mess with the Beautiful People.  She’s going to break the hold that Winter has on her no matter what it takes.

Here’s Kurt and he has no idea who he’s fighting tonight.  Kurt calls out Jeff Jarrett and here he comes, along with Rob Terry.  Yes, surprisingly enough it’s the guy that Hogan said was the solution to the Angle problem.  Is this supposed to be a surprise?

Rob Terry vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is in street clothes here.  Jarrett distracts Kurt to let Terry take over to start us off here.  Kurt gets a boot up but jumps into a front slam as he tries a cross body.  Terry gets him in a tombstone position but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock for the submission at 1:36.

Angle gets his hands on Jeff for a split second post match but only gets his shoe.  Kurt chases after Jarrett and chokes him with I think a shirt.  Angle Slam on the stage is reversed and Jeff runs backstage.  Kurt might catch him if he was actually running.  Jeff hides behind a wall or something and Kurt walks into some cops as Karen shouts.  Kurt is arrested and taken away.  I can’t wait to get to Lockdown so this can end already.  It was good to start but this has gone on far too long.

Fourtune isn’t sure what RVD is doing and they want to back up Sting tonight.  Roode talks about having a fourth person and that they need to go talk to someone.

Hogan and Bischoff say they can pick and choose whoever they want to join Immortal with how mad those three are at each other.

Matt Hardy/Abyss/Bully Ray vs. Sting/Rob Van Dam/Mr. Anderson

This is in a cage remember.  They have almost 25 minutes left in the show so this could get a lot of time.  Sting jumps Anderson as he’s doing the intro and suplexes him on the stage.  Flair hits RVD with a low blow and puts him in the cage.  Sting comes in and it’s 3-2 to start us off.  Stinger Splashes all around and the atomic drop by Hardy is no sold.  This is one of those annoying cage matches where you have to tag.

Immortal doesn’t seem to care about those rules though which is something I really like.  It’s a cage match where it’s supposed to be about survival, but make sure to tag in and out.  Anderson sits in a chair on the floor and watches as we take a break.  Back with Sting getting destroyed by all three Immortals.

As the beatdown continues here’s Hogan complete with back brace.  He tells Anderson to get in the cage but Anderson doesn’t want to.  Hogan calls him a jerk and Anderson wants to fight.  Hogan says he has glasses and a back brace and jumps Anderson.  Anderson is thrown in and I guess now the match REALLY begins.  Sting nails Anderson who gets rammed into the cage.

All Immortal here and Flair goes after a cameraman.  Ray wants to get the paint off Sting’s face.  Hardy gets two on Sting.  Ok, so now we’re going into tagging mode.  Uh…so why didn’t we do that in the first ten minutes?  Matt vs. Sting officially starts us I guess.  Sting hammers away but his knee is gone.  Off to Abyss with Ray shouting KILL HIM!  Off to Ray now as he and Abyss are in at the same time.

Sting avoids them and has them clothesline each other then clotheslines both of them to bring in Van Dam.  Anderson is down in a neutral corner.  Top rope kick looks to set up the Frog Splash but Anderson shoves him off and the Bubba Bomb ends Van Dam at 13:00.  Anderson bails as the beating continues on Sting and Van Dam.

Rating: C-. This was about what you expected.  The cage is there to preview Lockdown I guess but this wasn’t much of a match but rather an extended beatdown.  Not terrible, but kind of paint by numbers and nothing out of the ordinary.  That’s what the post match stuff is for, which we’ll get to now.

The beating continues but Fourtune hits the ring for the save.  Flair locks everyone in and Immortal takes over.  Kaz is busted open as there are a lot of chains in there for some reason.  Did Orlando visit the cage earlier?  With the beating continuing even longer, a bald man climbs the side of the cage.  It’s the returning CHRISTOPHER DANIELS who dives on Immortal and clears the cage as we take a break.

We get a quick recap of the match and post match stuff we just saw including Daniels with a big dive that looks pretty cool.

Flair rants about who Daniels is and Abyss says it’s AJ’s best friend.  Flair looks like the grandfather in a Shirley Temple movie.  Ray rants about how awesome the blood was.

Daniels, looking like he’s wearing eyeliner, says that it’s time to be back.  He says he’ll have Ray’s blood on his hands at Lockdown.  Kaz says he’s willing to bleed.  Apparently Daniels is the fourth man at Lockdown.  If AJ is out that’s as good a replacement as they can get I think so I can’t complain here.  Storm rants about how awesome Fourtune is and Daniels says TNA was built on blood.

Sting says that was just a warmup.  At Lockdown it’s SHOWTIME!

Anderson leaves with no comment.  Oh ok he just makes them in another room.  He’s mad about getting screwed over and Ran Dam jumps him.  Van Dam says thanks for tonight and leaves Anderson laying.  Anderson curses a lot as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but nothing that stood out here.  This was kind of a filler show to get to Lockdown but it was passable.  The cage match seemed a bit unnecessary but it served its purpose.  It’s got me wondering who is going to turn at Lockdown but I have a feeling it’s going to be the one that is least expected.  Also I’ve never been a fan of Daniels but if they need someone to fill in for Styles at the PPV he’s a nice surprise for a replacement.  Anyway not a bad show tonight but nothing worth going out of your way to see.

Results

Scott Steiner b. Shannon Moore – Frankensteiner

Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck – Flipping Cutter off the top

Winter b. Velvet Sky – Choke

Kurt Angle b. Rob Terry – Ankle Lock

Bully Ray/Matt Hardy/Abyss b. Sting/Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam – Bubba Bomb to Van Dam

Impact
Date: March 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Do the Math

It’s another week in the Impact Zone after last week’s pretty awful show.  For some reason I have a better feeling about this show tonight.  I hope we don’t have another #1 contenders match tonight as there seems to be one on every show.  Other than that we continue on the Road to Lockdown.  Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of Anderson wanting a title shot last week and the segments with Hogan.  Oh and they swear a lot.  This has various editing in it so they have the same thing said multiple times and with different voice effects.

In the arena it’s Anderson and some guy in a suit.  There’s what appears to be a dry erase board in the ring.  Into the ring and there’s a bunch of math and formulas on the board.  This guy is apparently a professor from the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay and is a mathematician.  He talks about how Hogan and Bischoff are trying to mess this up for him.  Last week there was a double pin last week which he draws on the board.

Anderson never got a rematch and when you add up everything, WHERE IS HIS FREAKING REMATCH???  The professor says he does deserve a rematch and that’s it from him.  Oh wait Anderson wants to talk about some chick he wants to sleep with back in college.  Anderson implies the professor wanted to sleep with her too which the professor admits to.

The girl told Anderson that the professor told her that Anderson was gay.  The professor admits to it and Anderson says that’s cool.  Say it with me: Mic Check to the professor.  Nothing for Mary Ann?  Cue Hogan and Bischoff.  The professor is out cold under the board.  Bischoff doesn’t see what Hogan sees in Anderson and that the Network won’t like this.  Eric says that this is all Hogan’s deal.

Hogan likes what Anderson did to the professor, saying that he thought it was entertaining.  Anderson has been running amuck recently and Hogan doesn’t like it.  Hogan doesn’t like the idea of Anderson not doing things his way, the Immortal way.  There won’t be a rematch unless Anderson earns it.  The rematch contract doesn’t count because it’s signed by Dixie.  That does cover why his win in the triple threat back in February is worthless so points for that.  It’s RVD vs. Anderson tonight for the shot at Sting.  Anderson says RVD isn’t in his league.

Cue RVD as we take a break.  Back with RVD saying say what you were saying right now to Anderson.  Anderson says he’ll say it in the ring and calls Hogan a douchebag.  Hogan likes that and talks about playing in a sandbox with a perverted professor.  RVD isn’t sure why he signed with TNA in the first place.  He’s tired of being held back by Hogan and Bischoff and this needs to be RVDTV.

Sweet goodness it’s Sting now as I guess 20 minutes of talking isn’t enough to open a show.  I wasn’t huge on Sting’s new look at first but it’s growing on me.  He got a call from the Network also and they want Sting to be the enforcer in the main event tonight.  Dang the Network called him fast.  Granted they might have known about the match in advance I guess.

We get an update on AJ who has a bruiser spinal cord and he’ll be out indefinitely.

Tara vs. Mickie next.

Mickie James vs. Tara

What in the world happened to the Knockouts division?  This should be a great match but it’s been done into the ground.  Madison tells Tara to take Mickie down tonight no matter what it takes.  Naturally there’s a Charlie Sheen reference because everyone loves him still right?  We do get the Broken song though so I’m happy there.  Mickie dominates to start us off with a Thesz Press and a flapjack.
Tara is more or less in a bikini with a slightly longer top.  Can’t say I’m complaining.  Tara counters a rana attempt by Mickie into a powerbomb.  Tara goes up and gets crotched but fights Mickie off.  In a rather awesome looking move Tara does something that is kind of similar to a Styles Clash but instead of the ending to the Clash she landed in a Boston Crab position.  That was pretty cool looking.  Didn’t get the submission but the setup was cool.  Widow’s Peak attempt doesn’t work and a HUGE jumping DDT ends Tara at 3:20.

Rating: C+. These two fight a lot and I think I can see why.  First of all they’re both gorgeous and second of all they have good matches.  That DDT was awesome looking and is far better than whatever she uses usually.  I know she’s used it before but that was the first time I’ve seen it in awhile.  Good match here despite it being pretty short.

Anderson and Sting argue a bit in the back and Anderson wants to know a name at the Network.  There’s no name apparently and it’s just The Network.  That makes no sense so it’s probably a very important plot point for a major storyline.

We recap the borderline sexual assault on Okato last week by Pope.

Joe talks to Okato who has a match tonight.  Okato says something in Japanese.

Okato vs. D’Angelo Dinero

The announcer calls him Okada while the screen says Okato.  Okato jumps him immediately and is wrestling in that Jimmy Jack Funk mask.  After a quick attack to start he misses a dropkick off the top and here comes Pope.  The ropes are making loud noises whenever they’re hit tonight.  Pope vs. Joe at Lockdown.

Pope rams a bunch of knees into Okato’s head as he’s hanging over the apron.  He takes the boot off and drills Okato in the head with it, then takes the glove off to reveal a bunch of rings.  An uppercut with that is enough for a DQ at 2:28.  Barely even a match here as other than about 8 seconds at the beginning it was all Pope.  Pope pops the referee also and beats up Okato a bit more until Joe makes the save.  BIG reaction for Joe.

Video on Sting that we’ve seen like three times now which is about how he got into wrestling and loves TNA now.  TNA needed a hero so he came back.  Lots of Hardy mentions in this video which I’m not sure what to think of.

Now we get a video on Angle vs. Jarrett.  Is there a reason why we’re seeing a promo video for Lockdown in the middle of a show?  They’re good videos but I’m a bit confused as to why they’re airing here.

All show we’ve heard about Flair issuing a challenge to Fourtune.  That’s up next.

Back with RVD talking to Hogan.  Hogan thinks RVD is the guy and that he doesn’t get what Bischoff sees in Anderson.  He wants RVD to give it his all tonight and Van Dam leaves.  Hogan laughs and says what an idiot.

Here are Flair, Ray and Matt Hardy.  Flair talks about being God and how he’s going to hand the mic off to two great tag team wrestlers who are the best thing going today.  Wow indeed.  Matt looks so high it’s unreal.  He talks about being told they were the future 10 years ago but being stabbed in the back.  They’re going to stab Fourtune in the back but doing it straight ahead.

Bubba takes the mic and the fans chant for D-Von.  He talks about AJ not being here and how it’s because of Ray.  Apparently his Uncle Vito taught him to make people an offer they can’t refuse.  Ray asks for a 4-3 match at Lockdown.  Aren’t there only three of each?  Cue Fourtune minus AJ of course.

Kaz leads the charge and the fight is on.  Why are Flair’s clothes always ripped off in fights?  DWI attempt on Flair but the lights go red.  And Abyss is back and is the 4^th man.  There’s a chain brought in from somewhere and the big beating is on.  We take a break with Immortal standing tall.

Back with Abyss saying he’s stronger now and all that jazz.  He’s a monster don’t you know.

Here are Hernandez and his Mexican team, in this case the guy that ran in last week and Sarita/Rosita.  The guy is named El Anarchia.  The stable is called Mexican America apparently.  They’re taking our jobs, our women and our money because they’re the superior race.  Hernandez puts a Mexican flag over the American flag.  That flag is huge.  They call out Morgan who comes out with….he comes out with D-Von.

D-Von/Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez/Anarchia

This is a street fight.  There’s the massive Mexican flag above the ring and a British flag in the stands.  Holy international show!  Moregan and Hernandez in the ring with a fallaway slam taking Hernandez down.  The elbows in the corner set up a clothesline to send Supermex to the floor.  Velvet Sky runs down because this isn’t making enough sense already and she fights with the girls.

Angelina Love (blast that Jersey Shore chick so I now have to explain things) walks out very slowly but doesn’t do anything.  Winter comes out and screams ANGELINA.  Isn’t there like a MATCH going on right now?  Angelina leaves and we go back to the mach.  Anarchia hits D-Von with some object to end this at 3:40.  I know that’s long enough to grade but considering we saw maybe 90 seconds of the actual match and the rest was on the girls, no rating.

Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Ink Inc

Glad to see Crimson actually getting some camera time.  Neal looks like he’s in boxers.  Total squash to start with Neal getting destroyed by both guys.  Moore comes in and gets beaten down also.  He gets the first offense of the match for his team in the form of a moonsault press.  Shannon goes to tag Jesse but Jesse is still hurt.  Instead he jumps into the Red Alert to end it 3:05.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here as I guess they’re splitting up Ink Inc now too.  Other than Beer Money who in the world is left for this division?  Unless we’re going to go back to the Guns vs. Beer Money again, I have no idea where else they’re going with it.  Total squash here with Ink Inc getting in a combined 2 moves.

Neal shows respect post match but Moore takes the head gear of Steiner and wipes himself with it and throws it at Steiner.  Neal yells at him for it.

Video of the Anderson vs. RVD match at Victory Road.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

This match is happening because Earl Hebner never got to declare a winner.  So, in the last week, no one like, asked him who won?  Basic stuff to start us off as Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two.  Sting is the outside referee so they might as well stamp “Screwy finish” on this right now.  Backbreaker gets two.  Totally going through the motions here until we get to the ref bump.

And there it is as Anderson clotheslines the referee.  Chinlock by Anderson as Sting comes in as referee now.  Split legged moonsault gets two for RVD.  Rolling Thunder is avoided so RVD dives to the floor to take out Anderson.  Anderson fires a chair into the ring and Sting throws it out.  Mic Check into the post and RVD is done.  Anderson drills Sting and it’s a DQ at 6:43.  Ok, so RVD is #1 contender!  There is no way that there could be any other logical conclusion.

Rating: C-. The whole going through the motions thing got really annoying as they made it very clear that something was coming.  The ending just had to be screwy because that’s what they’re doing here to set up Lockdown, but now they’ve picked RVD.  Ok, that’s what I was hoping.  Just a winner.  I feel all at peace now.  I’m sure TNA will never find a way to change this.  Not them.  Not even a little bit.

Big pull apart brawl post match and we take a break.

Back with interviews with everyone involved in the match.  RVD doesn’t remember the match and thinks he has a title match tonight with Sting out of all this.  The interviewer corrects him and RVD is gone after the Mic Check into the post.  So another head injury angle?  Original guys, original.

Anderson wants to know why Sting is afraid of him.

Sting says he didn’t ring the bell.  Oh dear.  Oh dear indeed.  Anderson goes after Sting and they brawl again.  After they’re pulled apart Anderson wants to know who rang the bell.

Overall Rating: C. Far better than last week but I’m not sure what that’s really saying.  The ending likely is going to get changed because they’re dead set on that triple threat ending.  The pacing this week was WAY better with the wrestling being more spaced out.  Still not a great show really but it’s far better than last week.  I didn’t get annoyed during this one as I usually do, which is a good sign.  Much better show here.

Results

Mickie James b. Tara – Jumping DDT

Okato b. D’Angelo Dinero via DQ when Dinero hit Okato with rings on his hand

Hernandez/Anarchia b. D-Von/Matt Morgan – Anarchia pinned D-Von after hitting him with brass knuckles

Scott Steiner/Crimson b. Ink Inc – Red Alert to Moore

Rob Van Dam b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Anderson hit the referee

Impact
Date: March 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Well it’s the first show after the disaster that was the ending of Victory Road.  Hardy is not here tonight apparently which is about as little as you could ask for.  Jeff Jarrett said that he would call out Angle for a truce on tonight’s show, meaning their feud is likely going to continue until Lockdown.  We’re on the road to said PPV now, so let’s get to it.

Immediately Sting is here and he has a new TNA World Title belt which looks a bit like a UFC belt.  He has the Hardy belt in his hand.  Sting says that before Hogan’s show starts he wants Hogan and Bischoff down here now, or the show won’t start.  With the men in power in the ring, Sting hands Hulk the belt and says that’s all that’s left of Jeff Hardy.  Hogan throws it to the floor.

Sting wants to know how it feels to ruin a superstar like Jeff Hardy.  Sting says that Jeff is a grown man but Hogan and Bischoff turned him into something twisted and dark.  If they try to turn Jeff face out of this, I’m not sure what to think of that.  Sting says he can’t help Jeff Hardy but he can help the 50 guys in the back that are ready to go.

Hogan says he’s a Johnny Come Lately and that Hardy cost Immortal, not the other way around.  Hulk says that Jeff’s demise was his own fault and he couldn’t live up to the Immortal standards.  Hogan asks Sting why Immortal is all at the top of its game, even Matt Hardy.  Did he really just say that?  Hogan threatens Sting, saying don’t worry about saving the boys in the back, but rather saving himself.

Since he came back two weeks ago there have been main event guys calling him all the time wanting to come here and wanting to take Sting’s place.  Sting wants to know who’s been calling.  Cue, I kid you not, Bully Ray.  Ray says that he’s been ringing the phone off the hook because he’s been waiting for this chance all his life.  Ray kisses up to Hogan a bit, saying without him there would be no wrestling business.  True, but why is Bully Ray saying this?

He talks about how no matter what Sting does, he’ll never be able to beat Hogan.  The Bully asks to be part of Immortal and wants to become world champion.  The interesting thing is that Ray can actually talk well enough to be on this level, but at the end of the day he’s Bubba Ray Dudley.  Hogan says don’t worry about Sting and here’s Fourtune as we take a break.

Back with AJ saying Fourtune has Sting’s back.  He says Ray has always wanted to be a singles wrestler but he had a partner for the last 15 years that carried the load.  Bully wants to smack the silver spoon out of AJ’s mouth because Dixie has been carrying AJ the whole time.  Ray says without D-Von he would have been a 23 time world champion.  AJ slaps Bubba and here’s Anderson because there aren’t enough people out here already.

Anderson wants his rematch and says he’s a jerk about 10 times.  The fans laugh, proving why this is stupid.  It’s not a moment where people are supposed to laugh.  Hogan says Anderson couldn’t beat RVD.  Anderson says RVD couldn’t beat him either, so “it’s your call, TERRANCE.”  Oh yeah, he went there.  Bischoff does the ratings thing, four way is made: AJ vs. Ray vs. Anderson vs. RVD.  Great.

Angle is here with a big present for the newlyweds.

Back with AJ talking to RVD and wanting a partnership tonight in the main event.  RVD isn’t sure but more or less says no.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Alissa Flash

It’s another open challenge here.  Flash is more commonly known as Cheerleader Melissa or Raisha Saed.  And the Rayne Drop ends this in 19 seconds.  Why did this happen again?  Oh so Mickie James can come down.  Let me guess: that’s Lockdown because we didn’t have it enough in previous months?  Mickie makes the obvious challenge but Madison says Mickie has to put her hair up.  Mickie says cool.

Pope, looking like Orlando Jordan, is with a bunch of people that are pretending to have various ailments such as being fat, blind and in a wheelchair that he’s going to pretend to heal.  Oh dear.

Back with Anderson yelling at Hogan more.  He wants to know why he has to fight for a title shot he already owns.  That’s a great question since he won a #1 contenders match about three weeks ago.  Hogan says Anderson couldn’t beat RVD like always.  Hogan says do things the hard way or our way and he throws the cameraman out.

Time for Pope who is in a white suit.  He says that miracles need to be performed and tonight there will be miracles happening.  Pope says that Jesus can do this and so can he.  He takes the “blind” man’s glasses off and spits on his own hands, calling it holy oil.  The man can see now.  Next up is the lame man who he kicks in the legs and smacks him in the head.  The man pops up and kind of dances a bit.  Up last is the chick in the fat suit.  Pope grabs her…stomach I think and says that no one including Jesus could help her lose weight.

FINALLY Joe comes out to end this along with Okato.  This feud couldn’t be stupider if they tried to make it worse.  Pope yells at Joe for ruining Pope’s stuff.  Joe is getting fatter by the second I think.  Pope throws the people into it and pulls Okato out.  He puts a knife to Okato’s throat and in a funny bit keeps hitting Okato in the head for stepping on Pope’s shoes.  Pope kicks him in the cuts and throws him into the entrance area before jabbing his knife into his throat, showing that it’s fake.

Back and Pope is beating on Okato who is tied up.  Wait….where is Joe?  He takes the mask off and says he doesn’t like how Okato looks so put the mask back on.  He beats on Okato forever with a stick or a pole or something until Joe FINALLY shows up.  I guess they ran out of catering.  Also he calls him Okada when he comes up.  Joe is all mad or something.

RVD comes up to Anderson in the back and accuses him of joining Immortal.  Nothing of note is said but Anderson denies it.

Velvet and Winter argue about who gets to team up with Angelina as we hit one hour into the show.  Angelina leaves with Winter.

Here’s are the Jarretts for MORE TALKING.  Seriously, 60 minutes in, 19 seconds of wrestling.  Jeff calls himself the Ultra Male now.  I give up.  He says he has nothing left to prove but gets stopped by a Jarrett sucks chant.  There is nothing left for him to do to Angle so for the good of the kids, he’s offering a truce.  He says that they need to get along for the sake of their kids (are they breaking up or something?) and he’ll let Kurt beg for forgiveness.

Angle comes out with the big gift from earlier.  It’s pretty good sized, probably about four feet long and two feet wide.  I’d die of laughter if it’s an axe.  Angle says that Jeff is the better man and the father/husband that Kurt never could be.  He has a peace offering but Jeff is skeptical.  Jeff opens the paper like it’s Christmas morning and it’s…another box.  It’s a guitar with an American flag on it.  Naturally it winds up around Jeff’s head.  Karen tries to hit Angle in the balls butt there’s no effect.  I knew those steroids would catch up with him.  Ah it’s a cup.

He takes it out and smiles but then turns to yell at Jeff more.  Hey Karen, HIT HIM NOW!  Jeff is bleeding as Kurt says he’ll go medieval on him.  Kurt wants a match at Lockdown or he’ll come and hurt both of them.  Jeff, bleeding from the eye, says yes.  Kurt says don’t bother going to Hogan or Bischoff because he’ll find Jeff and hurt him.  Tell me that’s the end of the feud.

Bischoff is talking to Gunner/Murphy/Terry in the back and we hear the WE MUST HAVE ALL THE TITLES speech again.  Abyss has been stripped of the title (finally) and one of those three will win the title.

There’s a six person street fight coming later.

Back with Karen wanting the police here and shouting into the phone about it.  Jeff is mad at Kurt.

We get a video package about the TV Title match.  Why in the world do we need a hype video for that?

TV Title: Rob Terry vs. Gunner vs. Murphy

Gunner has the tattoos.  Got it.  The tag team jumps Terry but then splits up soon.  Hogan’s wife and Brooke (looks JUST like Linda) are here.  We split the screen for a bit to show that the cops are here for Angle.  People keep trying to steal wins which gets them nowhere.  Murphy and Terry slug it out with Terry winning.  Gunner pops up to spear him and then hits a modified F5 to win the title at 1:47.  The match didn’t even make it to two minutes.  Wow indeed.  Bischoff comes out to applaud.

AJ says he was trying to help RVD, not himself.

Back with the cops telling the Jarretts to chill.  Karen mentions a restraining order.

Hernandez/Sarita/Rosita vs. Matt Morgan/Winter/Angelina Love

Well I’ve always been a fan of mixing feuds like this.  Also, oddly enough Sarita might look better in long pants which is surprising.  Hernandez says welcome to Mexican America.  He says they’re taking over and whistles into the microphone.  Winter’s music is like a messed up lullaby which is pretty freaking awesome.  She has the blindfold on again.  This is a street fight.

Morgan hits the ring in jeans and the fight is on.  Oh and it’s one of those street fights where you have to tag.  The guys start as the girls fight on the floor.  The corner thing didn’t last long.  Morgan hammers away but the girls jump on him (lucky bastard).  He throws them off and Winter/Angelina destroy them.  A spinning backbreaker ends Rosita in 1:24.

Post match some Mexican guy (who appears to be Matt “Lowrider” Barela who was OVW Champion for the majority of last year) comes in but Morgan fights them off.

We come back with a recap video of the Anderson/RVD match at the PPV.

AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

It’s 10:36 when these entrances start so there’s a ton of time here.  Surprisingly there’s no bell before we start.  Anderson vs. RVD and AJ vs. Ray to start.  No tagging here and it’s one fall to a finish which helps a bit.  Ray runs over AJ who nips up and takes him down with a rana.  Jumping forearm in the corner and AJ is in control.

Monkey flip is blocked and Anderson fights Ray.  RVD vs. Ray as AJ and Anderson have been knocked to the floor.  Van Dam gets Rolling Thunder but Anderson pulls Rob to the floor.  AJ gets a sunset flip on Anderson for two.  We’re firmly into the formula here of having each guy dominate for a bit but no one is really moving towards a finish.  At the moment it’s Ray taking over.

RVD takes down Ray but the Five Star misses.  Spinning Rock Bottom takes Anderson down but AJ gets a top rope cross body on Ray for two.  Middle rope kick to AJ gets two.  Neckbreaker to RVD gets two.  AJ dives out at Ray to the floor but lands on the ground.  Ray grabs a chair but Hebner pulls it away to save Styles.  The chair goes into the ring and Anderson suplexes RVD onto it and it’s a double pin at 5:55.  Ray drills the referee before the finish can be announced.  Are you serious?  RVD wasn’t on Anderson in any way at all.

Rating: C-. Decent match but dang it all GIVE US A CLEAN FINISH ALREADY!!!  Why is that so complicated?  I get that the triple threat at Lockdown is more or less a given, but dang it just announce that already.  This is beyond annoying at this point and the main event not even going six minutes is just pitiful at this point.

AJ and Ray fight up to the stage and Flair comes out to save Ray.  It’s a HUGE sitout powerbomb off the stage to put AJ through something that resembled a table next to the stage.  Everyone is out and we throw up an X.  They have to turn straightedge now?  We take a break with everyone down.

Back with Anderson and Ray having to be separated.  AJ is put in a neck brace and taken out on a stretcher.  So now their either first or second top face is doing an injury angle?  This is how the show ends.  We see replays and AJ is taken out.  That’s Impact for you this week folks.  Enjoy it TNA fans.  This is what you guys wanted right?  Give me a break.

Overall Rating: F. We get three and a half minutes out of the first 95 for actual wrestling and then we get that finish to the show?  Why does TNA always have to give us the “Thank you fans, but your #1 contender is on another show” finish every time?  We had 9:25 of total wrestling tonight.  I’m sorry but that’s ridiculous.  TNA had people paying attention after the Hardy fiasco and this is what we get?  Are you kidding me?  Terrible show where NOTHING happened.  This is one of the worst TV shows I’ve seen in months if not years.  Just awful.

Results

Madison Rayne b. Alissa Flash – Rayne Drop

Gunner b. Rob Terry and Murphy – F5 to Murphy

Matt Morgan/Winter/Angelina Love b. Rosita/Sarita/Hernandez – Winter pinned Rosita after a spinning backbreaker

Rob Van Dam vs. AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson went to a no contest

Sorry for the delay.  I actually wasn’t sure what to think of the end of the show.

Victory Road 2011
Date: March 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well this is TNA’s offering for the month.  It’s another show with the majority of it added on at the very end with no real build to it.  Yes there are stories for the matches, but that doesn’t mean there’s justification for asking something like 40 dollars for a show.  The main event is the rematch of Sting vs. Jeff Hardy and the third #1 contender situation for Anderson.  Let’s get to this as it’s one of the least interesting shows I can remember in forever.

The opening video is the Sting mask being crawled on by a scorpion.  Wow they’re banking a lot on this push.

Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

Pre match Ray runs his mouth about how awesome Hogan and Bischoff are for letting him have a run.  Dreamer comes out and Ray talks about how he’s run Dreamer into the ground over the years and mentions breaking his wife’s neck.  This is now hardcore.  They brawl to start us off and Dreamer sends him to the floor as we imply Ray going to Immortal.  Well if they want to drive it off a cliff why not?

A fan holds a up a chair and Dreamer rams Bubba into it.  There’s some water spit into Bubba’s head.  This is opening a PPV in 2011.  Dreamer grabs some big yellow stuffed animal (apparently from Despicable Me) to drill Ray with.  Into the crowd now as my head is already hurting from this.  Granted that might be due to Florida getting a 2 seed in the NCAA tournament but who knows.

They go into the balcony with the traditional carry the guy around style. Dreamer hits him in the head with something that looked like it was made of metal to continue his dominance so far.  Back to ringside with Bubba getting in a big shot with some other unidentifiable weapon.  Crowd is hating on Ray pretty well.  He’s played the character well, but why in the world is it Bubba Ray Dudley getting this push?

Ray goes after Dreamer’s hand which only works to an extent.  Dreamer throws some garbage cans with weapons into the ring.  Good thing he had those just in case this was made hardcore I guess.  They have a road block thing that has a name that I can’t think of in there.  It’s the orange/white fence thing that is moved up when you drive through it.  And there’s an inflatable doll in there which Bubba lands in a 69 position with.

Splash on the doll onto Bubba gets two.  Ray gets a trashcan lid shot to the head of Dreamer as Dreamer goes up top.  Superplex gets no cover.  Bubba Bomb is blocked into a DDT for two.  Dreamer brings in a table (moving it off the love doll) which is set up in the ring like a small ramp.  The fans want D-Von as Ray gets a spinning Rock Bottom for two.  He sets the table for Dreamer and calls out at D-Von.  The kids of D-Von come out as does D-Von and Ray takes a 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: D+. There was a blowup doll in this as well as a Despicable Me doll.  I get that it’s a comedy match, but dude it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Bubba Ray Dudley opening a PPV in a semi-comedy match in the year 2011.  Just get to the table match that is coming for Bubba vs. D-Von so they can move into midcard purgatory.

Winter and the Beautiful People insist they’re cool.  Winter says the issues have been Velvet’s fault.  This gets a WTF look from Velvet.

Knockout Tag Titles: Rosita/Sarita vs. Winter/Angelina Love

The Mexican chicks say basic Spanish stuff.  Winter is blindfolded or something and there’s no Velvet, making me think the titles are changing here.  Rosita and Angelina start us off but it’s off to Winter quickly as the champions are dominating.  Bridging Northern Lights gets two.  Angelina back in now as the fans chant USA for two Mexican chicks, Angelina (Canadian) and the British chick Winter.

Sarita is in now and has about as much luck as Rosita had.  There’s some heel cheating and Rosita misses a front flip legdrop that was aimed at Angelina’s ankles.  More fast tags by the champions as they regain control quickly.  Everything breaks down slightly and Sarita grabs a belt.  She drops it and Rosita gets ahold of it but Velvet runs in to steal it.  Winter rolls her up but no referee.  Rosita reverses it and wins the titles with a pin.

Rating: D. Well this was predictable.  I don’t think this lasted very long but I don’t time PPV matches so it’s not like it matters.  Granted these titles have been worthless since they debuted.  Velvet has to explain herself.  Wouldn’t Winter know that she was never hit by a belt and that would be enough validation?  Whatever.

We’re going to have the Jarretts on vacation tonight.  They’re at Universal Studios and Karen is bored out of her mind with the rollercoasters.  The kids are with them and Karen hates the kid stuff.

Morgan talks about (Shawn) Hernandez and how the Mexican company dropped him.  Morgan says that after this he’s going after the world title.  The recap for the match is just that Hernandez came back and played the race card, setting this up.  He’s in Immortal also.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

This is first blood.  Hernandez came out to the LAX theme which is a rarity.  They head to the floor almost immediately as Morgan rushes the ring.  Hernandez gets a sharp wooden stick and tries to jab it into Morgan’s face ala Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard.  I apologize for comparing this to a classic like that.  Hernandez ribs as the face as the fans want blood.  Morgan fights back by a side slam.

Hernandez hits a Pounce as we hear about how awesome he was in AAA.  He was so awesome he wasn’t at their biggest show of the year last year.  Hernandez hammers away until Morgan gets a discus lariat.  This is rather boring if you didn’t get that.  Fall away slam continues Morgan’s lack of head shots.  He grabs the stick from earlier but gets kicked in the gut to drop it.

A fan runs in and Hernandez pulls out a chain.  Morgan kicks it out of his hand and drills Hernandez with it.  The referee is down and Hernandez is busted open.  Hernandez comes out of the corner and sprays Morgan with something that looks like fake blood or something like that.  The other referee comes out of the back (I guess not watching on a monitor or something) and gives it to Hernandez.

Rating: F+. Well the ending was original as I don’t think I’ve ever seen that done.  However, this is more or less every other first blood match with the heel bleeding and getting the win anyway in a screwy finish.  This was nothing at all of note, but granted you can say that about the first 45 minutes entirely here of Impact on Sunday.

It’s Max Buck’s birthday and he works as a team with his brother.  Shenanigans are implied.

Kazarian interviews JB in a weird moment.  He busts out a Charlie Sheen reference, making me want to end Kazarian.

Robbie E yells at someone that we can’t see.  Cookie is panicking about Ultimate X and Robbie says he’s fine.  This was idiotic if you didn’t get that.

Video on Ultimate X.  It’s so awesome that it got thrown on at the last minute.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E

The idea here is the title is hung over the ring on cables that cross to form an X.  You have to climb across to grab the title and can’t use a ladder.  It’s supposed to be all about Maz remember.  This is the 24^th Ultimate X match in history apparently and Kaz’s fifth.  This is kind of a weird triple that with Gen Me vs. Robbie vs. Kaz.  The team beats up both guys to start us off.

Kaz fights them off for a bit and manages a springboard up to the X in a cool spot.  That gets him nowhere as Robbie comes in and stomps away.  Max goes up but it’s Robbie stopping him.  Cookie is hot but the voice is annoying.  Gen Me gets everyone down and goes for the belt until Robbie stops them again.  Kaz is back in now and faces off with Jersey Boy.

Robbie escapes the Fade to Black (that reverse Piledriver) and gets backdropped to the floor, hitting his ankle on the steps.  Gen Me wakes up again and takes down both guys one more time.  Jeremy gets a sweet assisted moonsault to take Robbie and Kaz down.  Max is all alone but wants Jeremy to help him up instead.  Jeremy holds off Kaz and Max makes a run at it.  Kaz of course saves as Robbie has a bad ankle still.

Double dropkick puts down Kaz and a baseball slide does the same to Robbie.  Jeremy does this weird reverse jump to get up and holds off Kaz.  This again fails and Maz, who also was trying to get the belt, is swung backwards and gets knocked off and caught in a cutter to put him down.  Robbie gets up and goes for the title, only to get pulled down by Max.  And never mind as Max is sent into the structure by Kaz and gets stuck.  That’s different if nothing else.

Everyone is down now and Max is unhooked for a change.  Kaz hits Fade to Black on Robbie but gets kicked by Jeremy.  Jeremy tries to go up only to take an enziguri from the champion to put him down.  Flux Capacitor (suplex/rock bottom) off the top by Kaz puts Jeremy down again.  Robbie and Kaz both go across at the same time.  Gen Me kicks Robbie down and swing the champion down too in a nice bump.

Jeremy goes up and Max isn’t happy.  Max pulls him down which is the point of the match.  They both go from opposite corners and both are hung by their legs upside down in the middle.  They slug it out up there until Robbie grabs a ladder to take them down.  Kaz goes above the X and grabs the title at the same time as Robbie.  Kaz pulls it up but there’s no bell.  Oh there it is.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but this is a match that has been done so many times that there wasn’t much here.  It’s definitely one of the weaker matches they’ve had with this gimmick but it’s still good.  Fun match but they kept trying to play up the Bucks only for them to break up and not play a factor in the end.  Fun, but definitely not great.

More honeymoon stuff and Karen wants champagne.  Instead it’s a pizza.  Next up: a water park.

Beer Money hits on Christy and try to get her to do the BEER MONEY thing.  Basically it’s to hit on her and stare at her figure.  Can’t say I blame them.  They get serious and say they’re awesome but Ink Inc is overstepping their bounds.  Something about respect is mentioned.

We recap the feud, which was Ink Inc saying they want a title shot and Beer Money saying ok.

Tag Titles: Ink Inc vs. Beer Money

I could see this being good.  Neal vs. Storm starts us off With no one taking over we get a double tag and some technical stuff follows.  The fans are split which makes sense for once as they’re both face teams.  Moore gets a leg lariat for two.  Neal comes in now and takes a powerslam for two.  This is taking a bit to get off the ground here.

Moore back in now and we hit the chinlock.  They do some basic stuff and it’s one of those moments where stuff happens but nothing is going on.  It’s ok but there is no interest in this at all.  It could be because there’s no history here and it’s there for the sake of having a title match.  Roode gets a spinebuster on Neal for two.  Ink Inc takes over again as Taz isn’t even sure who is legal.

Roode gets the formerly Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) to Neal and goes up top with Moore.  Down goes Roode and a Whisper in the Wind to Storm gets no cover.  Roode with a Rock Bottom for two.  BEER MONEY thing kind of gets the crowd hot but Neal hits the spear on Storm.  Neckbreaker gets two on Roode.  Moore wants to use the chain but Neal disagrees.  Beer Money comes back and the DWI ends Moore.  I guess they’re splitting one of the two active teams worth anything.

Rating: C+. This was just there for the most part.  It wasn’t great at all but it wasn’t bad.  Like I said: just kind of there.  The total lack of story hurt it a lot which is due to the booking and not the guys.  This wasn’t bad but it was really not interesting at all.  Granted that might be Shannon Moore.

Neal shakes their hands post match but Moore spits beer in their faces, I guess turning heel.  He talks about having to be tough to win.  Whatever.

Matt Hardy talks about how he’s cold blood/cold blooded and will hurt AJ.

AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy

This is just Immortal vs. Fourtune.  AJ uses speed to take over and grabs a front facelock.  Sweet dropkick takes Matt down.  Flair interferes and here comes Matt.  Here come the dueling chants also.  Matt has the braided hair back too.  He’s in jeans and no armbands either, making him look like a bum.

Out to the floor again where AJ is sent into the post.  He counters by hitting his always awesome slide under the railing and springboard forearm.  Back in the ring now with AJ taking over for awhile.  Matt sends him to the floor and Flair hammers away.  That’s Lockdown for these two next month people.  Back in Matt grabs a submission hold which is like a body vice.  Picture him setting for a double arm DDT and jumping up to wrap his legs around AJ.  It looked good if nothing else.

The rope is reached so it’s not like it means anything.  Taz says there’s no escape to it, which is stupid as AJ just escaped.  Flair grabs AJ’s balls for a bit and Matt grabs a cravate.  This is boring if that wasn’t clear.  AJ comes back and hammers away as the crowd seems a bit restless.  Enziguri puts Matt down and AJ does the same.  More punching follows and a big kick to the head sets up a backbreaker for two.

AJ misses a discus lariat and the Side Effect gets two.  This needs to end rather soon here.  Matt gets an elbow to the back of AJ’s head and it’s Twist of whatever time.  It’s blocked into a backslide for two and down goes AJ again.  AJ gets back up and tries the Clash but Matt escapes that and gets two.  Styles kind of botches his backflip into the reverse DDT but Flair distracts the referee.

Flair pokes AJ in the eye and takes a Pele for his efforts.  Matt gets a DDT and a moonsault for two.  END THIS ALREADY.  Hey they listen to me as AJ takes Matt down and Spiral Tap of all things which AJ hasn’t used in years (it’s a top rope twisting moonsault/splash) gets him the pin.

Rating: D+. AJ was good, Matt was sluggish.  What else were you expecting here?  For the life of me I don’t get why people see money in Matt Hardy as he’s just big and slow at this point with the fans cheering him for some reason.  AJ needs to just beat Flair and get it over with already.  At least Matt didn’t win so there is that at least.

Back to the honeymoon with Karen snapping on Jeff.  She wants sex apparently.  Jeff thinks she means Kurt.  This storyline has died so many times it’s insane.  Thursday on Impact Jeff is going to call for a truce.  They’re not sure where their kids are but they all get soaked.  Jeff has been a total face the entire night now.

Anderson talks about getting screwed over and more or less says he’s a tweener.

We recap RVD vs. Anderson.  In short, they both want the title and both say they got screwed.  Somehow we’re talking about football.  They’re grasping at whatever straws grasp at to come up with a backstory for this match.  They talk about Lockdown in the voiceover but I stopped caring a long time ago.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

This is ANOTHER #1 contenders match for Anderson after he won one already.  They stare it down to start and it’s dueling chant time with Anderson’s being louder.  Technical stuff goes on and it’s a standoff.  More technical stuff follows as I think this is supposed to be an epic match.  They botch a leapfrog spot with Van Dam taking a head to the balls.  This show is almost a comedy of errors at this point.

Rolling Thunder to Anderson as I just want this match to end at this point.  Spinning legdrop to the railing misses Anderson and the leg hits the railing to give Anderson control.  Anderson works the leg and it’s all basic stuff here.  Mic Check is blocked and Rolling Thunder doesn’t work either.  Van Dam gets a suplex to put both guys down.

Both guys go down again and this is just dragging like every other match so far.  Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and they ram heads to go down AGAIN.  Now they head to the floor off a cross body and they lay around AGAIN.  Anderson gets the Mic Check on the stage and Van Dam is more of less dead.

And it’s a double count out.  The fans boo the HECK out of that and I’d be with them.  This somehow was 15 minutes long.  Where in the world was the 15 minutes?  Oh and look: MORE multi-man title matches.  The fans chant to restart it and half chant no.  Now it’s a 5 more minutes chant.  Get on with it already.

Rating: F. This was just boring as all goodness and the ending hurt it even more.  They have zero chemistry together and this show has sucked so hard so far that this made it even worse.  It’s obvious they’re doing a multi-man match at Lockdown but that isn’t helping anything as far as tonight goes.  This is one of the worst PPVs I’ve seen in a very long time which is saying a lot when it comes to TNA.

We recap Sting winning the title on 3/3.  He was a surprise, read the other reviews for the details.

Hardy says that he was treated unfairly and he’ll win tonight to bring everyone back to reality.

Sting talks about getting into the business and it’s music video time.  I’ve heard this interview before.  Probably was on Impact or something.  Yeah I think it was.  He was at home and felt a burn.  Call a doctor dude.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Sting

It’s 10:30 and Jeff is wasting time getting to the ring.  Before the match Bischoff comes out to waste MORE time.  He makes it No DQ which somehow takes like two minutes.  Sting drops him and the Scorpion Death Drop ends this in less than a minute.  That was their first contact of the “match.”  I kid you not.  Are they serious?

We get a highlight video to fill in 6 minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. The show has been over for 15 minutes now (final bell rang at 10:38) and I don’t know what to say.  Early word is that Hardy was in no condition to perform.  If that’s the case, TNA’s creative and management team all should refund the fan’s money and resign.  You had 150 minutes to come up with ANYTHING else to put out there and this is what they gave us.  Put Bully Freaking Ray out there and it’s a better than this.

I’m still not sure what to think about what just happened but this is awful even by TNA standards.  It’s a big slap in the face to the people that bought this show and they’ve cost themselves dearly.  I was going to go to Lockdown and now I have no interest in going at all.  Absolutely awful ending and a disgrace all around.  Jeff being high or not, you do not let this happen.  Period.

As for the rest of the show, it was bad.  There was nothing at all of note worth seeing and that makes the ending even worse.  This show didn’t need to happen at the end of the day.  It’s a speed bump on the road to Lockdown and nothing was advanced here.  Now, because of this, TNA has another fire to put out.  I have no idea where they go from here but it’s nowhere good.

Results

Tommy Dreamer b. Bully Ray – 3D with help from D-Von

Rosita/Sarita b. Winter/Angelina Love – Rollup to Winter

Hernandez b. Matt Morgan – Hernandez squirted blood on Morgan

Kazarian b. Max Buck, Jeremy Buck and Robbie E – Kazarian pulled down the Title

Beer Money b. Ink Inc – DWI to Moore

AJ Styles b. Matt Hardy – Spiral Tap

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout

Sting b. Jeff Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop