Smackdown
Date: September 10, 2015
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

We finally got to the point and had Sting destroy the statue on Raw to end the teasing for the last few weeks. Other than that we also have John Cena vs. Seth Rollins II coming up, which should be a better match and might even get us the US Open Challenges back on Raw. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Wyatt Family to get things going. Harper says Bray’s words will show you the way. Bray talks about how smart Roman Reigns really is but he doesn’t care about any single fan or about what any of the fans think about him. If Reigns is ever to fulfill his destiny and become WWE World Heavyweight Champion, the people must get on their hands and knees to bow down to Reigns. Anyone but you Roman.

Dean Ambrose on the other hand is cursed with loyalty to someone he believes to be his brother. Ambrose is missing a few pieces upstairs and deserves a warning. The two groups have become a modern day Hatfields and McCoys and will fight each other forever. It doesn’t matter who is joining Reigns and Ambrose at Night of Champions and everyone will fall to the Wyatts. Run.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

Rematch from Monday when Big Show interfered. Miz takes a few moments to take the glasses off so Cesaro, with his ribs taped again, hiptosses him down. The big dropkick knocks Miz off the top and out to the floor, leading to a chase scene. Back in and Miz starts kicking at the ribs before dropping Cesaro across the top rope. Off to a waistlock with Miz’s legs but Cesaro turns around and muscles Miz up into a suplex. As usual, that’s scary strength. Some more shots to the ribs have Cesaro in trouble but he grabs the leg and rolls over into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Basic match here but that’s all it needed to be. The rib work was fine and I’m glad they didn’t have Cesaro win with a power move while barely selling the ribs. I can live with lifting Miz up into the suplex as it’s a single spot instead of doing the same thing over and over again. Also, how nice is it to see Cesaro get a clean fall for a change?

Jimmy Uso is very excited to be Reigns and Ambrose’s partner tonight.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Again. Both teams get in a brawl before the match and the other four are ejected. Paige grabs a quick rollup and backslide for two each and a sunset flip gets another near fall. With the quick wins not working, Paige knees Sasha in the face to send her outside. Sasha gets in a shot to the ribs to leave Paige laying as we take a break. Back with Sasha choking on the ropes and getting two off the double knees in the corner.

We hit a quickly broken chinlock before a shot to the ribs sets up chinlock’s sequel. Paige fights up with a running knee in the corner and some kicks to the face but Sasha pokes her in the eye. Paige bails into the corner before spearing Sasha down, triggering a brawl for the double DQ at around 9:00.

Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one and it came off like a bit way to fill in time instead of having a good match. You would think Charlotte would have played a bigger role here as she has a title shot in four days, though you can almost guarantee that she doesn’t, likely due to a Paige heel turn.

Both groups come out to brawl until referees break it up.

We see most of the end of Monday’s six man tag and Sting destroying his statue. This eats up ten minutes.

Rollins calls Monday the low point of his career because Sting destroyed the proof of his talent. He’s requested a lumberjack match with Ryback tonight so all of the lumberjacks can see that he’s still the best in the world. Sheamus comes up and says Rollins might have three matches at Night of Champions. Or maybe two matches tonight.

New Day vs. Jimmy Uso/Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns

No trombone this week. Woods goes behind Reigns to start but eventually gets his jaw jacked by an uppercut. Off to Ambrose who stalks Woods around the ring until Big E. comes in and takes Dean’s head off with a clothesline. That goes nowhere until Jimmy comes in to clean house as Ambrose takes Woods out with a suicide dive. Uso dives on Woods and Kingston but Big E. pulls Jimmy over the top and out to the floor as we take a break. There’s really no reason for this match to continue, other than this match needs to fill in time on this meaningless show.

Back with Jimmy in trouble and Woods busting out the trombone. Kofi slams Jimmy head first onto the mat but Woods charges into a superkick. Roman gets the hot tag and cleans house with a nice tilt-a-whirl slam to Xavier, followed by a string of clotheslines in the corner. The apron kick knocks Woods even sillier and the Samoan drop puts Big E. down. Dirty Deeds does the same to Woods and there’s a Superman Punch for good measure. Jimmy goes up top for the splash but the lights go out. When they come back, Jimmy is out cold on the stage. Wyatt’s voice says “they all fall down” and the match is a no contest at 13:08.

Rating: C-. So in other words, this was Jimmy Uso substituting for Randy Orton after a long match that didn’t change anything. Not a good match for the most part but it got a lot better once Reigns came in and cleaned house. It’s a good story but I’m scared of who they might bring in as a partner, especially if it winds up being Erick Rowan or Kane.

Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension

Stardust is with the Ascension and we’re just supposed to forget that they got squashed on Monday. Or maybe we’re supposed to forget everything they do here because only Raw counts. I lose track sometimes. Cara hits his springboard cross body to Viktor before it’s off to Kalisto for some kicks to the face. Everything breaks down for a few moments until Viktor takes Kalisto down with the STO. The Fall of Man puts Kalisto away at 1:40.

The Dragons get beaten down until Neville makes the save.

Nikki Bella accuses Charlotte of being jealous of her. Charlotte comes in and says Nikki’s record attempt ends Monday. Nikki can call her whatever she likes tonight because on Monday, she’ll be calling Charlotte champion.

Seth Rollins vs. Ryback

Lumberjack match and non-title in a rematch of Ryback pinning Rollins on Monday. A shoulder puts Rollins down to start but the champ flips out of a suplex. That’s fine with Ryback as he throws Seth to the floor, only to have Rollins run back inside and send Ryback into the post. All of the lumberjacks are about to fight and we take a break. Back with Rollins getting two off a Sling Blade but charging into a fall away slam. Ryback starts cranking it up with clotheslines and a sitout powerslam for two.

Big Show starts beating people up at ringside and knocks Mark Henry out. All the other lumberjacks tell him to get out, leaving about half of them left at ringside. A spinebuster puts Rollins down again and Ryback backdrops him onto the remaining people. The heel lumberjacks come in and beat Ryback down until the good lumberjacks make the save. Neville dropkicks Stardust to the floor and moonsaults onto everyone……this match is continuing. Apparently lumberjack matches are No DQ, meaning Kevin Owens is allowed to trip Ryback, allowing Rollins to hit the Pedigree for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: D+. I’m so glad they threw in the fact that this was No DQ with a minute and a half to go so they could have all of the insanity. It felt like the gimmick was there because it helped them get to the finish, which was their beloved 50/50 booking. I’m so glad that Ryback got to beat Rollins on Monday, only to have Rollins come out on top here to make sure it’s all even. You wouldn’t want Ryback to get away with a meaningless win. People might start caring about him and that would just be a disaster.

Overall Rating: D-. What a waste of my time. You had four matches and three of them were rematches from Raw. The one original match was a way to hammer in the exact same point that we covered on Raw with Orton. In case that’s not enough Raw for you, how about showing the last ten minutes of the show to fill in even more time? This was a huge waste of two hours and basically a commercial for Raw, which is going to be a commercial for Night of Champions. In other words, this was the least important episode of Smackdown in a long time and that covers a lot of ground.

Results

Cesaro b. The Miz – Sharpshooter

Paige vs. Sasha Banks went to a double DQ when both women brawled

Jimmy Uso/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day went to a no contest when the Wyatt Family interfered

Ascension b. Lucha Dragons – Fall of Man to Kalisto

Seth Rollins b. Ryback – Pedigree

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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So…..yeah I’ve missed these for a few weeks. I know I missed the week before this but it’s a stretch to do one of these for this show and going back another week would be even worse. Anyway, it’s eight days after Summerslam and Sting is back to go after Seth Rollins, despite having losing his only match in the company. Let’s get to it.

We opened with Sting and that still doesn’t feel right in WWE. Sting was out there to talk about Rollins, but this somehow turned into a love fest for HHH. His speech was about how losing to HHH (who hit him in the head with a sledgehammer) earned his respect and Rollins will never be half the man that HHH is. Sting is going to prove that Rollins hasn’t earned the respect that he’s claiming, which is Sting’s entire character in a nutshell.

In other words, this feud is now going to be about HHH, because it sets up the feud with HHH vs. Rollins, which has been coming for months now it seems. I like the idea, but it would be a bit nicer if these were shades of gray instead of just making it clear that this is where the feud is going. I’m still not sure if Sting wins the title or not, though they seem to be making it a bit too clear that Sheamus is cashing in. I know WWE likes to beat things over our heads because they think we’re idiots, but this is almost too obvious. Therefore, I’m thinking Rollins retains over Sting, which almost guarantees that Sting gets the belt.

Rollins wanted his statue so Stephanie made sure to praise HHH a bit (made sense here for a change) before telling him to go ask Sting. This would be another segment that really didn’t change anything but why bother with something like that?

Rusev and Ziggler had a long match that ended in a DQ because this is destined to end in a mixed tag. Well at least it was. Now the interesting part here was where this went for the rest of the night, as Summer would be seen sneaking into Ziggler locker room before then running off screaming as Ziggler came out mostly sans clothing.

This got us into a soap opera which has been going ever since and I hate to admit the fact that I’m kind of loving it. Above all else: they’ve given me a reason to care. There’s a story here that is so over the top and ridiculous that it’s hard not to get sucked in, even though I know it’s bad. It helps that Rusev is left playing the role of muscle while everyone else does the drama, which is a much better fit for him. Well done all around Well that and Lana’s new outfit. That’s kind of a big plus too.

The best thing about this story though is I’m not sure if Ziggler cheated on Lana or not. Granted it’s about as low stake as you can get, but there’s always something good about not knowing where a story is going. It could be either ending here, though hopefully it ends with Ziggler going full on heel again because Dolph being noble and loyal to Lana doesn’t fit him in the slightest.

One of the other big stories of the night was Team PCB having a Beat the Clock Challenge for the right to face Nikki Bella for the title at Night of Champions. Charlotte wound up winning in something not really surprising, but I lost almost all interest in the Divas division (yeah it’s not a revolution, no matter how many times they’ve hammered it into our head that it’s a revolution) after the last month wasting our time. The matches were nothing special because of how short the time was, but at least we’re FINALLY getting to the title hunt, even if it means we have to listen to Nikki talk about being some empowered woman or whatever.

Ryback beat Big Show in a short match thanks to Miz, which seems to be the blowoff for this feud. I can’t say I’m complaining as I really didn’t need to see these three fight any longer. Big Show still seems to want to go after Miz, but at least they can’t be fighting over a title anytime soon. The match was short and a way for Ryback to show off his power, which he’s done about a dozen times on Big Show, which is why the company thinks it’s so impressive.

Kevin Owens beat Cesaro in a really good Summerslam rematch where Owens knocked him ribs first into the announcers’ table to injure Cesaro’s ribs. This was a good win for Owens and wraps up their feud, unfortunately with Cesaro getting swept but fortunately with no rubber match that WWE loves to put on. Owens seems primed for a shot at the Intercontinental Title and that’s a great spot for him right now, whether he wins the title or not.

Braun Strowman squashed Dean Ambrose, which is the best thing that he could have done for his first official match. The guy is a monster and he can tear a path of destruction for a few months until someone finally knocks him off. Just don’t make it obvious that he’s going to eventually be knocked off and everything will be fine.

The Dudleyz beat New Day in a non-title match because they have to have a champion lose once every few weeks, just to keep them interesting you see. Also because they don’t have any other teams to beat down besides the ones with the titles. More on that next week.

The big segment to end the show had Rollins demanding his statue back but being told by the Authority that he has to defend both titles at Night of Champions. Stephanie talked a lot but I usually get lost when she talks because all I can hear are buzzwords and charities that I’ll never hear of again because Stephanie has moved on to something else for her cause of the month. She does quite a few charity bits no?

Overall, Raw was a really solid show this week with almost everything serving a purpose or at least being good. Night of Champions is looking like an awesome show instead of the filler show that it so often is. We’re still waiting on that statue to be destroyed but I’m sure it’s going down soon enough. Good week this time though as they’re actually hot right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 7, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s a holiday show, which means we might not be in for the most action packed episode this week. Coming out of this weekend, the question is what does John Cena’s potential injury mean for Seth Rollins and his double title defenses? WWE has said Cena isn’t injured, but there’s always a chance it’s going to be addressed. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Seth Rollins gets things going this week and tells us about how special he is. Until he cashed in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, everyone believed Brock Lesnar was invincible. Then he knocked John Cena off the pedestal and became the first man to hold both the US and World Titles at the same time. Yes Seth we know. Much like everyone else in WWE, you feel the need to repeat the same lines over and over because it gets them talking on Facebook or something.

Anyway, he had a statue, Sting stole it, and now Rollins wants to crush Sting’s legacy as a result. Seth can do that by beating Sting at Night of Champions, but then he has to deal with Cena, who has politicked his way into the title scene again. That presented a problem but then Rollins remembered who he was. This has been his year so he’ll solve this problem just like any other.

Rollins wants his statue back so here’s Sting on screen, standing next to the statue. Come and get it he says, so Rollins says he’s not afraid. Cue Sheamus instead who asks if Seth is worried about Sunday. Seth is worried about his statue instead but he makes sure to call Sheamus Ronald McDonald with a bad haircut. Sheamus: “Leave my family out of this.” Sheamus teases cashing in at Night of Champions.

Post break Seth goes to see Stephanie to ask if HHH has a plan. After Stephanie gets annoyed at Seth for not thinking she can handle this (you have to get that Stephanie praise in there you see), HHH comes in and Rollins is relieved. HHH makes things even worse though as he makes Rollins vs. Ryback and Rollins/New Day vs. Prime Time Players/John Cena. Stephanie says she thought Rollins should go after Sting but Rollins wanted to hear HHH’s idea.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from last week where Paige only had about a minute and a half to beat Sasha, meaning she came up short. Paige throws Sasha around to start and elbows her in the corner, only to have her kick caught, setting up Sasha’s double knees in the corner for two. Back from a break with Sasha getting another near fall and throwing on a chinlock.

Paige quickly fights out but gets pulled off the middle rope to give Sasha another near fall. Sasha’s cross body is nearly countered into the Rampaige but Banks gets to the floor. Back in and a quick wheelbarrow suplex gives Paige two but Naomi comes in for a distraction, allowing Paige to grab a small package for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. It’s a nice match but the commentary suggests that the Divas Title match will indeed be at Night of Champions rather than next week as was hinted at on Smackdown. Therefore, this was another match that is meant to fill in time until we can get the big Nikki Bella moment that we’ve all been waiting for, meaning this has been another ten minutes of your time wasted.

Ascension vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Now, on Smackdown, Ascension was made to look tough again when they beat up Neville. I’m sure WWE wouldn’t totally waste that by having them get squashed here and act like Smackdown meant nothing. Dean beats Viktor up to start before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. That’s fine with Reigns who punches out both Ascension members with ease before Dean comes in with a suicide dive. The apron boot to Viktor sets up the Superman Punch and a Doomsday Device of all things, which sets up the spear. Dirty Deeds puts Viktor away at 2:53.

Post match the Wyatts come on screen to say the apocalypse is at Night of Champions.

That being said, SCREW YOU WWE! You set something up on Smackdown and you can’t send out Los freaking Matadores do job here? No of course not, because why do that when Ascension is there? Geez they make Smackdown worthless by their own actions.

Ryback says Rollins whines a lot and is an architect but tonight, Ryback’s plans are a Meathook and Shell Shock. Kevin Owens comes up to wish Ryback good luck and warns him not to bite off more than he can chew.

We recap Lana/Dolph Ziggler/Rusev/Summer Rae. There’s even a narrator for this.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and in a VERY cool thing, Ryback lets a kid hold the Intercontinental Title. The announcers are too busy getting in their talking points to notice of course. Rollins bails outside and hits the stall button to start. A shoulder sends Rollins right back to the floor but Ryback is patient enough to stay inside. Rollins gets rammed into the corner as the announcers argue over whether or not Sting stole the statue. As in the thing he doesn’t own that he took.

Ryback stays on the arm before chopping Seth down with ease. The delayed vertical suplex, with Ryback walking around the ring, gets two on Seth. Rollins gets Ryback out to the floor and tries a suicide dive, only to have Ryback catch him in midair. Ryback is whipped into various metal objects and it’s time for another break. Back with Seth getting two off a neckbreaker and putting on a chinlock.

Ryback punches him in the face and sends Seth flying with a backdrop. A powerbomb and the low superkick are both countered but the second attempt at the powerbomb connects for two. For some reason Ryback goes to the top but has to break up Seth’s superplex attempt. The top rope splash misses and Rollins baseball slides Ryback outside.

There’s the suicide dive but Ryback is still able to beat the count. Back in and Seth charges into a spinebuster but he escapes Shell Shock and nails an enziguri. This brings up Sting to say the statue is waiting for Rollins, allowing Ryback to grab a small package for the pin at 18:45, good for the second distraction into a small package finish of the night.

Rating: B-. This a better finish, this is a much higher grade. It’s a bad sign when they’re already reusing a finish less than an hour and twenty minutes into the show but you can’t expect them to think of that much on their own. Ryback getting the pin is a nice surprise though as he’s one of the best Intercontinental Champions in years.

Sting pops up again and puts a Sting mask on the statue.

Rollins (yes again with Rollins) is looking for his statue but here’s New Day to interrupt with a trombone recital. Seth yells at them but runs into Edge and Christian who are here for the Steve Austin Show. Edge brings up Rollins threatening to kill him to get the Authority back and wants a fight right now. Rollins bails so Woods wants a musical battle. This means the return of the KAZOO!

Edge thinks New Day sucks but Big E. eats the kazoo. Well he stuck it in his mouth and threw it out but we’ll say he ate it. The Dudleyz come up and tell New Day that the Prime Time Players get a title shot next week. The winners of that face the Dudleyz at Night of Champions. New Day freaks out but Bubba says now they can leave. Oh and the Dudleyz have a new song: GET! THE TABLES! GET! THE TABLES! With rhythmic clapping of course. Well that was awesome.

Here’s Summer Rae, who is sad over everything that happened last week. We get the recap again, with Cole saying it “gripped the world.” No Cole, it didn’t. Also, Ziggler and Lana are WWE’s power couple. Yes, he said power couple. Summer wants to apologize to the person who has been hurt so much in all this: Rusev.

This brings Rusev out so Summer can thank him for all of his inspiration. Last week when Ziggler invited her into his locker room, everything was just too much for her and she temporarily betrayed him. Rusev forgives her so Lana says “thank you Ru Ru.” Rusev rips on Ziggler a bit, so here’s Dolph with a message from Lana (who is out with a broken wrist) in the form of a superkick. I hate myself for starting to love this story.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Yes, AGAIN. Orton quickly takes him down in an armbar, likely because he’s so bored by this pairing that he needs a rest. Back up and they’re still in the feeling out process until a shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor. Sheamus gets back in and heads outside almost immediately (same idea as Rollins earlier). He yells at the fans on the mic but catches Orton coming out with the Irish Curse as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. He demands that everyone respect the hawk and snaps Orton’s throat across the top. The battering ram from the top gets two and the fans are really not interested here. The Cloverleaf doesn’t work so Sheamus resurrects the Edgeucator (a Sharpshooter but with Sheamus pushing on the legs instead of pulling). Orton makes the ropes and comes back with the hanging DDT, only to charge into White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and the RKO ends Sheamus at 15:49.

Rating: C-. Not only was it boring but it wasn’t even that good. These two just do not have chemistry and they’ve bored the crowd so many times now that I’m sick of both of them. I’m a fan of both guys but it’s not an interesting match. Never let these two fight again and the show will be a lot more entertaining.

Post match the Wyatts surround Orton, who was seen talking to Reigns and Orton earlier. Orton gets destroyed by all three monsters and Reigns/Ambrose aren’t even nice enough to come out for a save.

Cole calls next week the season premiere, which of course is taking place on the show before a pay per view because THEY CAN’T EVEN GET A SCHEDULE RIGHT WHEN THEY MAKE UP THESE ARBITRARY DATES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Los Matadores vs. Dudley Boyz

Diego takes Bubba down to start and the masked men get in some quick fast paced offense. That’s the extent of the good for them though as D-Von comes in to clean house and 3D ends Fernando at 1:38.

Post match Los Matadores blame El Torito so the Dudleyz make the save. Fernando goes through a table.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is fallout from earlier tonight when Cesaro turned down Miz’s offer to help publicize the Cesaro Section. Cesaro takes him down to start and easily throws Miz to the floor for some more of the beating. The fans are behind Cesaro as you might expect but Miz kicks Cesaro in the still banged up ribs to take over. Cesaro flips over the top rope because he’s athletic like that, only to get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Miz kicks him to the floor and sends Cesaro into the barricade a few times but here’s Big Show to chase Miz around, causing a double countout at 4:17.

Rating: D-. So now we’re doing Miz vs. Big Show vs. Cesaro? As in they’re doing the same story they just did but with Cesaro instead of Ryback? This show has been a mess so far and it’s not getting any better as it goes on. Can we please get something interesting instead of this lame stuff all over again?

Back from a break and it’s Bella time. Nikki shows off the Bellatron and invites us all to the Bellabration next week when she breaks the record. This brings out PCB, with Charlotte making the announcement that she’ll be challenging Nikki for the title next week instead of at Night of Champions. A brawl ensues and Nikki taps to the Figure Eight.

John Cena/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Seth Rollins

A fan tries to follow Rollins to the ring but he’s quickly stopped by security. Cena and Rollins get things going but it’s off to Big E. before anything can happen. The NEW DAY SUCKS headlock goes on as Woods plays the trombone. Woods: “Cena’s gonna learn today what some tricep meat feels like!” E. shoves Cena around as JBL does his best JR impression by making some football analogy that doesn’t go anywhere. The belly to belly gets two on Cena and it’s off to Rollins for some stompings. Big E. tags himself back in for the rotating stomps and Seth doesn’t get the idea.

Back from a break with Kofi getting two on Cena off a high cross body. The SOS gets two more and Rollins breaks up a hot tag attempt. It’s back to Big E. as Woods sits on the steps for some tromboning. E. misses the Warrior Splash and Titus finally gets the tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Darren gives Woods the Gut Check, only to have Big E. suplexes Titus down. Cena and Rollins get tags and the Pedigree is countered into the STF, only to have Rollins get to the corner for the tag to Kofi. The second high cross body is rolled through into the AA to put Kofi down at 13:08.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. It’s one of the better things on the show and that’s a nice improvement after everything else we’ve had to go through tonight. Cena pinning Kofi is fine as New Day is firmly in a spot where they can get their heat back with one set of antics and a loss means little.

Cena does the Millions of Dollars dance before leaving Rollins alone in the ring. Sting appears on screen in front of the statue. The lights come up and the statue is in front of a garbage truck. I think you can guess what happens. Rollins grabs his titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of those shows where you were punished for being a fan. They didn’t put in any effort on this one because no one The worst part about this show is that it could have been good but they were clearly not trying. It was one of those shows where they were just here to fill in time before the real stuff starts up again next week on the season premiere, which can’t be after Night of Champions because of reasons.

This show felt like it went on for about eight hours, but that’s what you have to expect on a holiday. Of course they can’t do something special here because they don’t want to waste it, even though they never actually use these special ideas that they’re allegedly saving. Not the worst show ever this week, but it was a LONG sit that would have been far better at two hours. I didn’t say good, but at least better.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Paige – Small package

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Ascension – Dirty Deeds to Viktor

Ryback b. Seth Rollins – Small package

Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO

Dudley Boyz b. Los Matadores – 3D to Fernando

Cesaro vs. The Miz went to a double countout

John Cena/Prime Time Players b. New Day/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 27, 2015
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso, Rich Brennan

It’s hard to say what’s going to happen tonight as the big story coming out of Raw is the return of Sting, who I can’t imagine is going to be here tonight. There’s always a chance of some fresh Wyatt Family stuff, as this show has become the main ground for the Shield vs. Wyatts feud, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a clip of the Dudley Boyz returning on Monday.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Shocking I know. Harper talks about our eyes and ears being shut by the lies we’ve been told. We’re all dead and we don’t even know it but Bray Wyatt’s truth will give us new life. Bray says he doesn’t just throw out words like brother because family means everything to him. Sister Abigail has given him so much in this life and just when he thought he had nothing left, she provided him a savior. That’s what being a family is all about. Abigail’s eyes light up when she talks about Braun Strowman and now it is time.

Cue Reigns and Ambrose with the former saying it is what it is. That wasn’t the first time they’ve been whipped so if he and Dean are going down, they’re going down swinging. Ambrose: “I’ll take the ugly one.” There are always points in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line, intentional or not. Strowman is ready to go but Bray calls his men off and leaves.

Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz

Bubba takes Konor into the corner to start and asks if he knows who they are. D-Von comes in and runs Konor over but gets kicked down into the corner. It’s quickly back to Bubba for the Flip Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but Konor breaks it up. The attempt, not the table. Back in and Ascension gets in a little offense, including a jumping knee to Bubba’s face. Not that it matters as a quick clothesline allows the hot tag to D-Von for some house cleaning. Bubba comes back in off a blind tag and 3D ends Konor at 5:10.

Rating: C-. This was fine and just a way for the Dudleys to show that they’re back. There’s nothing wrong with running through your old standards before they come back with the bigger stuff later on, especially considering they’re probably going to get a title shot at Night of Champions.

Post match it’s table time but New Day comes out with signs, including “Save a table, break a Dudley” and “hashtag give tables a chance.” Viktor gets powerbombed through the table and New Day panics.

Neville vs. Kevin Owens

This could be good. The threat of a kick to the head sends Owens into the corner and a headscissors puts him on the floor. Neville misses a baseball slide though and Owens blasts him with a clothesline. Back in and a torture rack neckbreaker (cool move) gets two for Kevin and we take a break.

We come back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and striking away, followed by a missile dropkick for two. The German suplex sends Owens to the floor but this time Neville is smart enough to duck the clothesline. Instead it’s a superkick to set up the Red Arrow but Owens rolls away before it can launch. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Neville at 8:19.

Rating: C+. The match was fun while it lasted but there’s only so much they can do with less than five minutes of the match actually airing. It’s nice to see Owens getting back to back wins, but I’m worried about where Neville is going. There’s only so much he can do, but the hero character could take them somewhere.

The Bellas get catty with Team PCB over Paige being the leader but never showing up because of Tough Enough. A tag match is set up for later. High school style drama: empowering women around the world.

Bella Twins vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Team BAD is on commentary because Heaven forbid all of these teams aren’t in the same place at the same time. Jimmy has recused himself from commentary to avoid a personal conflict. Nikki and Charlotte get things going as BAD rips on the Bellas for their singing on Total Divas. As usual, I love that something that happened two and a half months ago on Total Divas (some of it happened backstage at Battleground) is never mentioned until after the show aired.

A double dropkick puts Nikki down so it’s off to Brie, who gets her head slammed onto the mat. Back to Charlotte who misses a knee to give Brie a target and one of her kicks actually connects for a change. A leg lock doesn’t get Brie anywhere so Charlotte kicks her out to the floor. Everything breaks down as Nikki pulls Becky off the apron, leaving Charlotte to roll Brie up in the Charlotte’s Web for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: D+. I’m sure this means the Bellas are mortal and PCB has the momentum now or something, even though there still seems to be no advancement in this story. The Divas Revolution continues to be nothing more than a way to drag new Divas in so the Bellas can have fresh names to go over in the end. I had some hope that things would turn around with Summerslam ending but the first week is the same as all the previous ones: meaningless matches taking place while Nikki gets closer to the record.

Here’s Seth Rollins to address what happened on Raw. This Monday was supposed to take him from legendary to immortal. He mentions cashing in at Wrestlemania and being the first man to hold both titles at once (save for Goldberg, whose titles don’t count I guess because all those titles being unified only counts when they want it to. I like it better this way though as the idea of the World Heavyweight Championship being the NWA/WCW Title was one of the most ridiculous things even WWE had ever tried to pass off). Actors should be fighting to play him in his biopic.

Here’s a clip of Sting’s unveiling and subsequent beating. Rollins brags about being on top of the mountain while Sting has spent years down in the minor leagues. So why does Sting think he can ruin Seth’s moment without provocation? Rollins is going to finish what HHH started at Wrestlemania when the Architect faces the Artifact.

This got better as Rollins kept going but that’s the problem: it felt like he was still going for the sake of going, not because he had anything else to say. That’s a major problem with so many WWE promos: they’re designed as one size fits all, but not everyone speaks the same. Look at this one for example. Rollins could have cut this in half and said the same thing. Orton is the same way. He has to talk forever when it’s clear that he’s covered everything in a fraction of the time, but WWE has decided that this is how you do promos and everyone has to be the same.

Sheamus says he’ll kick Ambrose’s head off tonight.

Ryback/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Big Show

Big Show throws Ryback around to start but Ryback kicks away in the corner. Something like a spear puts Ryback down up against the ropes. The chokeslam doesn’t work so Ryback shoulders Show down. That wasn’t a bad power sequence. Show runs him over in turn but Rusev tags himself in, much to Show’s annoyance, and we take a break. Back with Rusev dropping elbows on Ryback and ignoring Show’s requests for a tag. Rusev: “I don’t trust you giant!”

Ziggler gets knocked off the apron but the distraction lets Ryback score with a spinebuster. Off to Ziggler vs. Big Show and the giant gets put down with the swinging DDT. A superkick gets two but the Fameasser is countered into the Alley-Oop and the KO Punch knocks Dolph out. Rusev tags himself in though and slaps on the Accolade, only to have Show KO his partner. Show walks past the black hole that Ryback has fallen into as Ziggler covers Rusev for the pin at 10:16.

Rating: C-. So I guess Big Show is a face again. That guy turns more often than I have to change the oil in my car so he must have been overdue. Big Show vs. Rusev does nothing for me, but I think I’d rather see that instead of forcing myself through another Lana/Ziggler love fest.

Clips of the end of Undertaker vs. Lesnar and Brock leaving Bo in a heap on Monday.

Video on Jon Stewart screwing John Cena at Summerslam and Monday’s fallout.

Ambrose and Reigns try to figure out what Sheamus means by respect the hawk. Sheamus better learn to respect Dean’s fist and his boot. Reigns will take care of the Wyatts.

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

Now I know the Wyatts are either going to run in to end the match or just after it’s over, but how refreshing is it to not have Dean fighting one of them for a change? Ambrose vs. Sheamus isn’t the most thrilling match in the world, but I’ll take it over Dean vs. Wyatt or Harper again.

Sheamus takes over to start and dumps Dean to the floor to turn it into a brawl. Dean comes right back by throwing him inside for a clothesline to take it back to the floor, only to be sent into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus kneeing him down onto the apron and slamming him out of a suplex. The Brock Lock doesn’t make Dean tap out so he pulls himself up, only to get planted with a sitout powerbomb.

Six forearms to the chest have Dean in even more trouble but he gets in some forearms to Sheamus’ chest to even things out a bit. A big clothesline drops Sheamus and Dean is all fired up. The bulldog out of the corner sets up la majistral of all things to give Ambrose two. Dean’s suicide dive connects and another big clothesline knocks Sheamus silly. Of course we’ve got Wyatts and the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to because they didn’t try to make this a wrestling match. Just let these two beat each other up for about ten minutes and then let the rest take care of itself. The Wyatts were the obvious ending but at least Sheamus isn’t being treated like a loser for a change.

Post match Reigns comes out for the save and is smart enough to Superman Punch Harper as fast as he can. Strowman is waiting for him though and Roman’s right hands have almost no effect. Braun slams him face first into the mat and chokes Reigns out, leaving the Wyatts posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Standard Smackdown fare here with almost nothing interesting or worth seeing. The ending to the show was the same as when Strowman debuted on Monday and Show is still having issues with Rusev. It’s back to normal with two hours of talking, average matches and nothing that won’t be done on a bigger stage in four days.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Konor

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Charlotte’s Web to Brie

Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Rusev/Big Show – Ziggler pinned Rusev after a KO Punch

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 20, 2015
Location: Resch Center Hall, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso

It’s the final show before Summerslam, meaning it’s time to find out how many times they can talk about Brock vs. Undertaker in about an hour and a half. It’s going to be a mixture of matches getting the hype this week as the main event is an eight man tag with three feuds being combined into one match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Ryback vs. Big Show

Non-title and yes they’re actually starting with a match for a change. Ryback punches away to start but Show drops him with a clothesline. They seem to be going with the “hit each other really hard” formula tonight. Phillips starts listing off the odds for Sunday’s title match, because the fans aren’t smart enough to divide by three. A side slam puts Ryback down and Show hits the chinlock. Miz told Lawler the following sage wisdom: “Size means nothing. The whale is an endangered species but the ant is doing just fine.” That’s one of those bizarre statements that works, which makes it even more disturbing.

Ryback fights up and just runs Big Show over, much to the announcers’ delight. Something like a spinebuster puts Show down again (to be fair, he’s not the easiest guy to spinebust) but the Meat Hook is countered by a spear for a close two. Show actually dropkicks him to the floor but Ryback comes back with the Meat Hook to put them through that part of the barricade they always go through when they go through part of the barricade (Jimmy: “OH SNAP! OH SNAP!”). It’s a double countout at 4:14.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot into this and it’s fun to see someone like Ryback muscle Big Show around. I know it’s been done a million times, but it’s still an impressive display of strength. Also, well done on having them go to a draw instead of having one of them lose. I’ve never been a fan of having someone going into a title match losing, but that’s what they did with Miz on Raw. Hopefully that doesn’t mean he gets the title back though as Ryback is starting to put something together as champion.

It takes a bit to get everything cleaned up.

New Day vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

This is billed as a six being match because WWE is stupid that way. I could watch New Day’s entrance for hours, especially the look on Kofi’s face. Woods and Fernando get things going and Lawler is already making his lame old man short person jokes. A quick splash sends Woods into the corner for a tag to Kofi but Los Matadores double team him down with Diego’s neckbreaker getting two.

Lawler says he went to see the Lucha Dragons’ new movie: Dragon Ball Z. I would pay to see Lawler watch a Dragon Ball Z movie. The threat of Torito sends New Day to the floor and we take a break. Back with Woods charging into Diego’s elbow but making the tag off to Big E. Diego gets dropped face first on the top turnbuckle for two and it’s rotating stomp time.

Woods hits his running basement dropkick in the corner before it’s off to Kofi, who is sent face first into the post, allowing for the tag to Torito. This is the big showdown with Woods (Lawler: “It’s deja moo!”) and a rolling cradle gets two for the bull. Everything breaks down and Big E. runs the full sized masked guys over, leaving us with E. vs. Torito. A big backbreaker sets up the Warrior splash and Woods gets the pin at 9:09.

Rating: D+. This is WWE in a nutshell: lame puns, a six being match, and a full match built around a thirty second spot on Monday that no one really cared about because it might make someone backstage laugh. At least New Day won and we got the celebration after a watchable match, but the story just killed this for me.

Someone gives Woods flowers and the celebration is on in full.

Here are Ziggler and Lana for a chat. Ziggler talks about how good it feels to be back here…..with Lana. He’s been tired of spending six weeks on the shelf, eating his dinners through a straw. Ziggler wanted to be here to help Lana against Summer and Rusev, before he needed to find his Lana (his words) and see if she was ok. The first thing she said to him was they needed to crush those two. Ziggler: “THAT IS HOT!”

Lana thinks they make a great team because Ziggler always stands up for what he believes in and she shoved Summer into a fish. Dolph says Lana just wanted to prove how tough she was, which makes Lana giggle. Rusev can have his pathetic wannabe but only Dolph gets the real thing.

Cue the Rusev flag, quickly followed by Rusev and Summer. Rusev promises to crush Ziggler’s throat again and put him in the Accolade. Well that’s certainly efficient. He’ll let go before Ziggler passes out though so Dolph can see Summer crush Lana as well. That will be the end of his comeback, but Dolph says the comeback doesn’t even start until Summerslam when he kicks Rusev’s teeth down his throat and steals the real girlfriend. Didn’t he do that already?

This is one of those feuds where the rationale seems to have been “well, there’s nothing else for them to do”, which rarely makes for a good story. Ziggler’s thinking makes sense (“What am I supposed to do? Turn down the hot blonde trying to kiss me?”) but Lana feels so forced into this story.

It really doesn’t help that she had to just sit around and wait for Ziggler to come back from his movie as she’s lost all of her heat in this story. Yeah remember like three months ago when you heard all those WE WANT LANA chants? How long have those been gone? About as long as she’s been with Ziggler I believe? At least it’s not a mixed tag though.

Here’s a good chunk of Cena and Rollins’ exchange from Raw.

Neville vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas takes him into the corner for an elbow to the jaw and driving some knees into the back of the head. “BOLIEVE!” We hit the cravate on Neville but he pops up, kicks Bo in the head and ends this with the Red Arrow at 1:54. Neville is getting into that 1995 Randy Savage mode of only hitting one move, which isn’t a good sign for him going forward.

Stardust and Barrett pop up on screen and promise to win. Barrett: “On Sunday, red and green turn black and blue!” Stardust: “Yeah. He’s going to punch you!” Neville will be grounded by a royal Bullhammer so hail the Cosmic King and Stardust.

Team Bella comes out for a triple threat but it’s time for a chat first. Alicia introduces Nikki, who will hold the record in 26 days and represents fearlessness. Has that slogan ever been explained? I mean, what makes Nikki fearless? Nikki says she may be fearless but she has doubts too. This past Monday was her toughest challenge to date and Sasha didn’t disappoint. Maybe one day, Sasha will be an amazing Divas Champion, but that day isn’t today. Well of course not because she hasn’t gotten the record yet.

Nikki says that her title reign makes her the most powerful woman in sports entertainment. Oh yeah Stephanie is getting involved in this after Sunday. They’re proud of being part of what social media has dubbed the Divas Revolution. Oh come on. I know WWE has decided that social media is the greatest thing in the world but Cole has been calling it that name for a month now.

Cue Team BAD with Naomi saying that the Bellas don’t speak for the entire division and no one believes them. She advises them to not prepare a victory speech for Summerslam, “because it’s not going to happen boo.” Sasha talks some trash so Brie gives one of the worst deliveries I’ve ever heard as she says Sasha calls herself the Boss, but there’s a much better word for her that starts with a B. That line was clearly off a script and Brie just butchered it. Like, Ed Leslie levels of bad butchering.

Sasha brings up making Nikki tap on Raw (Nikki: “Still the champ!”) but switches to Brie, who has ridden her injured husband’s coattails for months now. Brie tells her to shove it instead of bank on it and violence is teased but here’s Team PCB to intercede. Well Team CB at least as Paige is at Tough Enough. Becky promises a lass kicking and we’re ready to go.

Before we get to the match, let’s talk about why this was such a bad segment at its core. Ignoring how bad some of the delivery was, you had pretty much the entire Divas’ division out there (has Natalya been on TV in the last month?) and none of them talked about wanting to be champion.

Nikki said Sasha might be champion one day, but I can’t remember the last time anyone said they wanted a shot. It’s just about establishing which team is dominant or whatever, because that’s all they’re allowed to fight over right now. I can’t wait for next week when they can get back to normal with some better stories, because this whole AJ record thing is killing anything they had with the introduction of the new roster.

Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella vs. Sasha Banks

Everyone goes after each other to start and it’s Becky left standing and telling the others to come get her. We take a break thirty seconds into the match of course because having a break after the promo wouldn’t have made a bit of sense. Back with Brie doing a YES chant and kicking Sasha in the head for two. The BRIE MODE running knees don’t appear to make much contact but get two more on Lynch.

It’s Sasha’s turn now as she stacks the other two up in the corner for the double knees. That always looks cool. Brie and Sasha clothesline each other down and it’s Becky in to clean house with suplexes all around. Sasha gets up on the apron but Brie rams Becky into her and grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C+. Brie is an interesting case as she can range anywhere from dreadful to passable on any given night. This was a good little match after a promo that didn’t make a ton of sense when you started to think of it. Thankfully we get to the serious stuff next week though so this is one of the last messes we have to sit through.

Orton, Ambrose, Reigns and Cesaro all promise to win their matches on Sunday.

Long video of Undertaker and Lesnar from Monday.

Randy Orton/Cesaro/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the main event roster. Orton and Sheamus get things going after about ten minutes of entrances. The threat of an RKO has Sheamus on the floor after about twenty seconds and we’re already in a commercial. Cut that out already! Back with Owens saying he wants Cesaro and getting what he wants when Orton drags Kevin over to face him. A quick suplex puts Kevin down and it’s off to Ambrose vs. Harper with the former getting a very nice canned reaction. Dean drives him into the corner for the same canned pop for Reigns.

Roman kicks Harper in the face but eats a forearm and it’s quickly off to Bray. Back to Cesaro for the European uppercuts in the corner and it’s off to Harper, who whips Cesaro into the ropes. Unfortunately Harper thinks he’s wrestling a human as Cesaro flips over the ropes and lands on the apron for a sunset flip. Everything almost breaks down but in what might be a first, the referee actually holds things together.

The distraction lets Harper kick Cesaro in the face and the villains take over. Bray gets in some shots and NOW Owens is willing to come in for the Cannonball. Back from a second break with Cesaro getting caught in the Regal Roll and a tag to Harper for a slingshot hilo of all things. Owens and Wyatt alternate backsplashes for two and it’s off to a chinlock to kill time. Cesaro does his best to fight out of the corner but walks into the Irish Curse to stop him cold again. A dropkick finally gives Cesaro a break and that invisible crowd pops up one more time.

The hot tag brings in Reigns who starts his variety of clotheslines. The apron kick mixes things up a bit and it’s time for some Samoan drops. See, why can’t he do things like that more often? A suplex or two won’t kill him. Some double teaming from Wyatt and Sheamus puts Reigns down but Sheamus takes too much time going after Ambrose, allowing the Superman Punch to knock him silly.

Dean gets the next hot tag to run over Harper, as has been his custom over the years. Wyatt gets knocked to the floor and Dean dives out onto him, followed by throwing Harper outside for a suicide dive. The standing elbow gets two on Harper with Owens diving on top for the save (Harper was crushed) and it’s time for the parade of finishers, capped off with Dirty Deeds for the pin on Harper at 19:22.

Rating: B. Take eight guys and let them get in there together for a solid formula tag match and watch the good results come in. There isn’t much else you can do to hype up this many matches on one show so this was about all they could put together. Harper losing was probably the best option as he’s just a minion whose job is to lose so Bray doesn’t have to. I’m always a sucker for all the finishers in a row to end a match too so good stuff.

The winners celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good, solid go home show for everything but the two main events. Smackdown has really improved in recent weeks since they started being the show where the midcard feuds get some spotlight. Raw alternates between Cena vs. Rollins and Lesnar vs. Undertaker, so it’s nice to see the other stuff get some attention too. Good show this week and Summerslam looks solid.

Results

Big Show vs. Ryback went to a double countout

New Day b. Los Matadores/El Torito – Woods pinned Torito after a splash from Big E.

Neville b. Bo Dallas – Red Arrow

Brie Bella b. Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks – Rollup to Lynch with a handful of trunks

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Randy Orton b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt/Kevin Owens/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/

So here’s the thing: I really don’t think this show warrants a full on Reviewing the Review. It’s a stand alone show that is built around the drama of “Will Cena be at Summerslam or not.” Well now we know the answer to that question, I really don’t see the need to go through the entire show when nothing major happened and it was built around building to Summerslam, most of which is already set in stone. There were a few interesting things on the show which I’ll cover here, but this won’t be a step by step version of the show, as it would really be a big waste of your time.

Obviously the major story was Orton vs. Cesaro vs. Owens in a triple threat for a shot at the title later in the night, but I don’t think the ending was ever in any serious doubt. Orton winning makes the most sense as he only has a minor story going on right now and you can easily put him in a title match, have him lose, and suffer no harm. Both matches were good, but the Sheamus interference was obvious from the second Orton pinned Cesaro.

There was a long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker. It went well enough, but there were better ways to set up the match than the 123^rd version of “yeah the Streak was amazing and I didn’t think anyone would ever break it but Brock did and it was amazing” from a bunch of midcarders.

Miz, Ryback and Daniel Bryan did some stuff. It’s as riveting as it sounds but I like Ryback more and more every week.

Neville beat King Barrett in a minute and twenty seconds before setting up the tag match with Stepen Amell at Summerslam. I like the idea of Amell in there as he’s in great shape and looks like an athlete, but the Barrett squash just killed me. Bring up someone from NXT for that spot if it’s going to be so short, but find SOMEONE else to take a quick beating like that. It doesn’t accomplish anything and I really don’t want to see Barrett at Summerslam now.

So yeah, Raw was good this week and most of the stuff didn’t need any further discussion. Summerslam is looking great and the final go home show should offer a bit more to talk about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 10, 2015
Location: Xfinity Arena, Everett, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We have less than two weeks before Summerslam and the question at the moment is whether or not John Cena is going to be able to defend his US Title in the main event against World Champion Seth Rollins due to his recently broken nose. The majority of the card is set already so the next few shows are just going to be about firming up the existing programs. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Rollins to open the show, complete with another video of the knee to the nose. Rollins is still wondering where Cena is, as he issued his challenge for Summerslam last week but there hasn’t been a reply yet. Where has Cena been? Jamming on the new Dr. Dre album and contemplating reigniting his rap “career?” Cena is straight out of action, not straight out of Compton.

Rollins doesn’t understand why he hasn’t heard from Cena as John is scheduled for Tough Enough tomorrow. If he can be on that show, it makes Seth think that Cena is cowering from the champ. Rollins gets word that Cena is here but it’s via satellite. We get a picture of Cena with only his mouth moving out of a late night talk show sketch.

“Cena”, in Rollins’ voice, says Yabba Dabba Doo and says he’s going to Tough Enough to apply for a new job. It’s gone from Hustle, Loyalty and Respect to surgery, recovery and rehab. Cena is giving up because his nose was so destroyed and there’s no way he can beat Rollins and because he looks like he got a nose job from Picasso.

Seth talks about last week’s WWE World Title Open Challenge but here’s Cesaro to interrupt. Cesaro doesn’t like hearing Rollins going on and on and on and on, but he does like hearing about another Open Challenge. Rollins says not so fast because Cesaro hasn’t earned it, but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt as well.

Kevin says Cesaro believes in himself because of a bunch of CESARO SECTION signs, but why should either of these two have any say when neither of them can beat John Cena? Cena beat Rollins a few weeks back but Owens pinned Cena, so he should get the shot. Now it’s Rollins coming out to make fun of Owens’ gut and Cesaro’s glasses but Rollins says Tom Brady has a better chance of getting a free meal in Seattle than any of them do of getting a title shot tonight, so they can all get out of here.

This brings out HHH, who didn’t like Rollins saying he doesn’t care what the Authority thinks. The doctors have told him that Cena is 50/50 for Summerslam, so Rollins might need a backup opponent. Therefore, tonight there’s going to be a triple threat match with Cesaro vs. Orton vs. Owens, and the winner gets a title shot against Rollins TONIGHT. There were some funny lines in here, which makes me think the WWE writers had nothing to do with it. This also ran too long, which isn’t surprising as they could have cut this WAY down.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella

PCB (their new name after an adult site had already taken Submission Sorority. You can’t make that stuff up) is on commentary. In an inset interview, Team BAD debuts the term Belladashians and I want to reach for a gun. Naomi elbows Fox in the face to start but it’s off to Nikki for two off a back elbow. BAD takes over on the champ though with Naomi doing her corner wiggle, earning her a spinebuster from Nikki for two. Nikki’s spinning kick out of the corner drops Naomi again and we take a break.

Back with Sasha getting two on Nikki as PCB laughs at the idea of the Bellas starting the Divas Revolution. Nikki finally gets free and makes the hot tag to Brie, who is as over as she’s ever been since it’s her husband’s home territory. Brie cleans house as everything breaks down but Tamina gets in a few good shots. The superkick is loaded up but Brie gets a HORRIBLE looking rollup for the pin on Tamina at 9:00. Come on, it’s a ROLLUP. How can you not do that properly?

Rating: C. This was fine for the most part but the ending sequence was a letdown. I like the idea of putting Brie in there where she’s going to be popular, but I’m getting really tired of the Bellas not knowing if they’re faces or heels from one week to another. You can’t have their personalities on Total Divas and then expect people to cheer for them on Raw. Well at least you can’t if you have the slightest bit of intelligence about you.

Everyone brawls post match and the Bellas and Fox are knocked to the floor, leaving everyone else to have a staredown. So much for winning meaning anything.

Stephen Amell is here.

New Day vs. Los Matadores

Kofi’s grin as he skips to the ring is greatness. New Day takes over early on and we hit the rotating stomps on Diego in the corner as Woods plays cheerleader on the floor. Big E. slams Diego down for two but he misses a charge into the post. The tag brings in Fernando to speed things up with some weird shouting and a springboard flip dive to take Kofi down. Woods gets Kofi out of the way of a charge but Torito takes him over with a hurricanrana. The Midnight Hour is enough to put Fernando away at 4:01.

Rating: D+. It’s just a squash but it’s nice to get the Matadores out of the running for the title shot. I don’t think anyone would have bought them in there and it never would have worked. I’m really hoping we aren’t stuck with New Day vs. Prime Time Players again but adding another team or two would spruce things right up.

Post break New Day is dancing and singing in the back when Renee Young comes in and says it’s New Day vs. the Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons. New Day thinks we should just add Doom, Men on a Mission and Harlem Heat but then decide that a four way is fine. Renee even joins in on the clapping. I’m very glad WWE has basically said Los Matadores losing there meant nothing as they’re instantly in the title match anyway. Why do we watch these TV matches again?

HHH gives Rollins a pep talk. It’s a wonder that Rollins isn’t sitting on his daddy’s knee for this one.

We recap Reigns issuing a challenge on Smackdown for himself/Ambrose vs. Wyatt/Harper at Summerslam, which was accepted at the end of the show. Take note, as this is one of the only times all year that something actually happens on Summerslam.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens

No one gets an entrance as they’re all in the ring when we come back from a break. Owens gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor, leaving Orton to roll Cesaro up for a fast two. Cesaro can’t swing Owens so he gets two off a double stomp instead. Orton pops back up for a pair of t-bone suplexes but Owens is able to post Cesaro and snap Orton’s throat across the top rope.

A backsplash gets two on Randy as this is very fast paced so far. The fans are behind Kevin as he hammers Orton down in the corner. Cesaro comes back in and Orton is sent to the floor. That’s fine with Owens who knocks Cesaro outside with him, only to have Orton drop Cesaro back first onto the barricade. Owens drops Cesaro onto the barricade as well but Orton sends Kevin into it so he won’t feel left out.

All three get back in with Owens busting out a string of European uppercuts, only to walk into Orton’s backbreaker. Cesaro high cross bodies Orton for two more but he has to counter the RKO into a Crossface. Randy grabs a rope but it doesn’t count in a triple threat because it’s No DQ, so Orton crawls to the floor for the break. Owens knocks Cesaro to the floor and hits a flip dive to take both guys out as we take a break, with Cesaro holding his knee.

Back with Cesaro on his feet in the corner but getting sent into the buckle for the Cannonball to give Owens another near fall. Owens goes up top but has to fight off a superplex. That’s fine for one person, but Orton and Cesaro are easily able to double superplex him down in a cool looking visual. It’s Cesaro covering for two but Orton will have none of that.

They slug it out instead and Randy gets swung, setting up the Sharpshooter. Cesaro lets go because of Owens, but the Swing is kicked away, sending Cesaro into Orton. Randy is fine enough to powerslam Owens though, sending both guys to the apron for a double Orton DDT.

Cesaro breaks up the RKO and hits a nice dive to take Owens out, followed by a springboard twisting European uppercut for two. That was one heck of a sequence. Cesaro takes Owens up to but gets shoved down, only to put his knees up to block the Swanton. A superkick takes Cesaro’s head off but it’s an RKO to block the Pop Up Powerbomb. Cesaro eats an RKO as well, giving Orton the pin and the title shot at 18:15.

Rating: B+. Yeah Orton won, but if Cesaro won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Cesaro getting pinned. On the other hand, if Owens won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Owens getting pinned. Now on the third hand (find a friend who will lend you a hand), Orton can win and then lose to Rollins and people will only complain about it being Orton in the main event slot again, as it was pretty clear he would be when he came out for the opening segment. Really good match of course, as you would expect with those three in there.

Ambrose said he didn’t have a friend growing up, but it’s nice to have one now so he can get bailed out of jail in Laredo. Reigns thinks Wyatt wouldn’t do anything for Harper because they’re not family. Ambrose knows how Reigns likes his coffee, water and beer, which is proof that they’re brothers. Believe that.

We get quick thoughts from various legends and wrestlers about the history of Undertaker and how amazing the Streak really was. Heyman wants to hear about the myth of Brock Lesnar, which leads to a variety of people talking about how unique Brock’s skills really are and how you can only hope to survive instead of defeating him.

We see some clips of the Streak ending and people talk about what a shock it was. Heyman’s look of astonishment when the pin actually happened was perfect. Then fifteen months later Undertaker interrupted Brock squashing Rollins at Battleground and a huge brawl ensued the next night on Raw. The talking heads are split on their pick for Summerslam. This was every “they’re both so awesome” segment you’ve ever seen.

Undertaker and Lesnar will both be here next week, in Brock’s hometown of Minneapolis.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

Reigns and Wyatt are at ringside. Ambrose slugs away at Harper to start as I think we get a SEA-HAWKS chant early on. A big side slam plants Dean for two but he low bridges Harper to the floor for a running standing elbow from the apron as we take an early break. Back with Harper Gator Rollins Harper and putting on a chinlock. Wyatt has taken Byron’s chair so Byron is left standing. Fans: “SIT DOWN BYRON!”

Ambrose fights out of a chinlock and scores with a tornado DDT but Dirty Deeds is countered. The fight spills outside with Dean blasting Wyatt over the table and heading back inside for the rebound clothesline on Harper. Reigns intercepts Bray before he can interfere but eats a superkick from Harper. That earns Harper a suicide dive from Ambrose but Dean gets crotched back inside. The discus clothesline puts Dean away at 9:35.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I would have expected to given how many times we’ve seen them fight. The tag match at Summerslam should be fun, but it doesn’t quite feel like a huge match. It’s still not really clear why Wyatt hates Reigns, but at least there’s enough of a backstory there to warrant another match.

It’s time for MizTV, but first of all Miz has to rip on Amell, saying that once Stardust runs through him, call Miz up for some rebranding and acting lessons. Tonight’s guest is Daniel Bryan and it take a bit for the chants to wear down. Miz asks for quiet so the chants get even louder. Bryan, in a funny timid voice: “Miz wants you to shut up so you better be quiet!”

Bryan finally gets a chance to speak and says he isn’t just here to be on MizTV. Of course he wasn’t going to miss Raw in Washington and it’s time for that SEA-HAWKS chant again. Miz reminds the people that he’s a Cleveland Browns fan (that explains so much) before bringing up mentoring Bryan on the first season of NXT. Bryan mocks Miz’s Hollywood career and wardrobe, but thinks that his own accomplishments are due to hard work and all the fans around the world. Miz asks about Bryan’s medical status, which is still not great. That brings Bryan to his new book, which is a New York Times bestseller, and Tough Enough.

Miz goes on to Ryback and the Intercontinental Title, which should be awarded to Miz after all this waiting. Cue Big Show to call Miz a cross dressing Jedi manure spreader. The fans tell Big Show to retire but he says find someone to retire him. This brings out the returning Ryback so Miz bails, but Bryan throws him back inside to meet the monsters. Ryback cleans house and poses with Bryan to end things.

Video on Charlotte.

It’s a three team Divas elimination tag at Summerslam.

Mark Henry vs. Rusev

Lana is on commentary and confirms that Dolph will be back after Summerslam. Summer quickly gets on the apron for a distraction but Lana pulls her down. That’s fine with Rusev who superkicks Henry down, only to have both girls come in for the no contest at 1:07.

Summer puts Lana in the Accolade and a Rusev flag falls.

We recap Neville vs. Stardust over the last week.

Neville vs. King Barrett

Neville starts fast, kicks Barrett in the head and scores with the Red Arrow for the pin at 1:20. Total and complete squash because that’s what Barrett does.

Stardust comes in to lay Neville out but stops for a staredown with Amell. He knocks Amell’s hat off and Stephen jumps the railing, jumps to the apron and jumps over the top rope to tackle Stardust in a pretty impressive athletic display. Security quickly breaks it up.

After a break HHH yells at Amell, but Stephen wants a tag match at Summerslam. HHH laughs the idea off, but Amell shouts him down and offers to sign any waivers he has to sign. Ever the genius, HHH agrees to a tag match between Wade Barrett (yes Wade)/Stardust vs. Amell/Neville at Summerslam. HHH: “Don’t bring a stunt man.”

Sheamus doesn’t care if Rollins or Orton wins tonight because he might just cash in on either of them.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending and stalls on the floor early on. The champ comes in and the threat of an RKO sends him bailing to the floor as we go to the final commercial. Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before Orton makes a comeback with clotheslines and the powerslam for two. That’s enough for Seth as he goes outside to get the belt, only to eat another clothesline from Orton. He drops Rollins on the announcers’ table before they head back inside where Seth nails the low superkick.

The champ gets crotched on top and superplexed down for two. Orton can’t follow up but is able to counter the Pedigree, only to have his DDT countered. Rollins his one of his own and teases the RKO but settles for another failed Pedigree attempt. Orton backdrops him to the apron for the springboard knee but Seth dives into the RKO (in one of those spots where he was clearly just diving that way so he could dive into the move), drawing in Sheamus for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Yeah fine. I think we all knew this was the ending and there was nothing wrong with that as they weren’t going to change the title just two weeks before Summerslam. Good enough match though as these two have chemistry, but they need to get off this Sheamus vs. Orton stuff already because it’s really not interesting.

Post match Sheamus Brogue Kicks Rollins and goes to cash in but eats the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show this week but they moved things forward going into Summerslam and that’s all that mattered. I’m digging the idea of the title being defended on TV as even though it’s highly unlikely that we’d see a title change, the mere chance that it could happen makes the match feel better. I liked this show a lot better than the recent weeks and while it’s sill not excellent, at least it’s a step in the right direction and the kind of show they needed to have tonight.

Results

Team Bella b. Team BAD – Rollup to Tamina

New Day b. Los Matadores – Midnight Hour to Fernando

Randy Orton b. Cesaro and Kevin Owens – RKO to Cesaro

Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose – Discus lariat

Rusev vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Lana and Summer Rae interfered

Neville b. King Barrett – Red Arrow

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Sheamus interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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http://www.wwe.com/shows/wwebattleground/ryback-injured-27658773

Sounds legit.  I’d assume we get Miz vs. Big Show or a talking segment, but I’d love it if their time was given to Cesaro and/or Rusev.  Those guys deserve it after their performances Monday, and I’m sure a lot of fans will be annoyed if they don’t make it on but Barrett vs. Truth for the crown makes it instead.

Same as last week as I won’t be able to post the full thing tonight so here it is in advance.

Smackdown
Date: July 9, 2015
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Jimmy Uso, Jerry Lawler

We’re back after this Monday’s classic of Cena vs. Cesaro and Lesnar squashing a Cadillac with….maybe Cesaro and Rollins if we’re lucky. My guess is we’ll get more of a focus on Reigns vs. Wyatt, which is a far more interesting story than the World Title situation. Hopefully the wrestling will be good. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap is a long video on Lesnar vs. Rollins, with Cena vs. Cesaro not warranting air time.

Here’s Rollins to open things up by calling Lesnar a coward. Luckily we’re treated to a JUSTIN BIEBER chant because that’s a full time thing now. Rollins rants about the destroyed Cadillac but here’s Paul Heyman with a tow truck hauling out the remnants. Heyman says you can’t treat Lesnar like Rollins did and not expect to be taken to Suplex City.

Both say that the car is a metaphor for their opponent (or client’s opponent) in a good exchange. Rollins brings up the whole destroying the Shield thing but Heyman promises Lesnar putting his foot on Seth’s chest as he holds up his new title. Seth cuts him off again and promises to keep the title. This was basic stuff but it’s why they have Heyman with Lesnar though. If Brock can’t be around, just throw Heyman out there to do the talking.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bo Dallas

In case Monday’s squash didn’t do it for you I guess. Before the match, Bo takes credit for the success of Rock’s new HBO series Ballers. Ambrose works on a hammerlock to start but Dallas sends him into the post three times in a row. Some choking with the ring skirt (that’s something you don’t see to often) sets up Bo’s belly to belly (his old finisher) for two and we take a break. Back with Dean fighting out of a chinlock and firing away against the ropes. We get a big surprise as Bo runs the ropes for a belly to belly superplex, followed by a Downward Spiral for two. That goes nowhere so Dirty Deeds finishes Bo at 9:07.

Rating: C-. Bo surprised me here a bit and it’s been cool to see him working extra hard lately, dating back to the match against Neville on pay per view. Ambrose is still looking for his next feud and you almost have to assume it’s going to be against Reigns because, simply put, who else is there?

Big Show tells Rollins to take care of Lesnar and promises to take out Reigns tonight. Man I thought we were past that mess.

Recap of Rusev putting Ziggler out on Raw.

Fandango vs. Rusev

Rusev has shoes now, which is a very smart mandate for him. Fandango scores with a headscissors to start as Jimmy brings up Rusev wearing boots after Tom and Jerry spent thirty seconds talking about it during Rusev’s entrance. This is every Rusev match before he feuded with Cena: a nerve hold, no selling Fandango’s comeback, the superkick and the Accolade for the submission at 3:15.

Rating: D. Hey, Rusev is back. I think that sums up the whole thing here as it was just a quick squash with a bunch of shots of Summer Rae to make things a bit easier to sit through. Summer works fine as a gold digger, even if Rusev doesn’t have a ton of gold at the moment. Make Rusev a monster again and he’ll be fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Big Show

Remember what I said about being fine? Forget all of that here. Show is now in a sleeveless black shirt instead of the singlet top. Reigns gets thrown around to start and Show shoves him out to the floor. The giant gets posted for an eight count and it’s time for Reigns’ clotheslines, because where would we be without a series of clotheslines? The Superman Punch is loaded up but we’ve got a fake Wyatt on the stage. The real one gets punched off the apron but pulls Reigns down for the DQ at 4:00.

Rating: D+. This was barely a match as a good chunk of it was spent on the fake Wyatt and waiting on Big Show to beat the count back in. Thankfully we didn’t have to sit through a long Reigns vs. Big Show match which would have killed the crowd and been a big bore all match long. Wyatt vs. Reigns should be a really fun power brawl when we get there though.

Bray hits a pair of Sister Abigails.

Titus O’Neil vs. Big E.

E. takes over to start and hammers Titus into the corner to start. That’s a very common way to open matches these days. We hit the early abdominal stretch complete with slaps but Titus tosses E. out to the floor. A belly to belly stops Titus’ comeback and the partners all try to interfere, earning them a mass ejection. Clash of the Titus ends E. at 2:49.

Austin WWE2K16 video.

Video on the Cadillac being crushed earlier this week. So what wrecked car was brought out earlier???

After a recap of what happened between them on Monday, here’s Orton to talk about what happened with Sheamus earlier this week. He keeps it simple by saying he’s going to attempt to make Sheamus entertaining by ripping off his mohawk, but here’s the Ascension of all people for some reason. There was a time when this might have been interesting but instead it’s RKO’s all around.

Video on Cesaro vs. Cena from Raw. This deserved any attention it could get.

Naomi/Tamina vs. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox

Brie shoves Naomi into the corner to start before it’s off to Tamina, who takes some kicks to the ribs as well. All hail the Bellas right? Tamina makes a comeback so it’s off to Alicia and Naomi with the latter still having no luck. Everything breaks down and a Nikki distraction lets Alicia hit the ax kick for the pin on Tamina at 2:55.

Ryback doesn’t like how Seth Rollins has been acting as champion, including how he ran away on Monday. Tonight, Ryback will show Rollins how a champion acts because there is no running and hiding.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and both guys come out alone. Ryback shoves him out to the floor with ease to start and Rollins is already frustrated. Back in and some knees to the chest only earn Rollins a thirty second delayed vertical suplex. Seth kicks him off the apron though and nails a nice suicide dive, only to come back in using Brock’s jump to the apron. Man this guy has some guts.

Seth’s chinlock is quickly countered into a Backpack Stunner and the low superkick is countered into a powerbomb. It’s Rollins’ turn to counter though as he escapes Shell Shock and kicks Ryback in the head. Instead of covering though he walks out, but Ryback throws him onto the floor a few times. The threat of a Shell Shock on the floor is enough to make Seth run into the crowd for the countout at 8:11.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen worse. Ryback is really starting to find his groove as the upper midcard guy who can dabble in the main event when he needs to. He’s already a solid Intercontinental Champion and a good power guy so why not see how far out he can swim? This was more about the story and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match here’s Big Show to double team Ryback but Reigns makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m getting really tired of these not terrible yet still totally skippable shows. This is another example of a show that you do not need to watch but won’t hate yourself if you sat through it. In other words, meh. That’s Smackdown in a nutshell: it exists and mostly doesn’t suck. That’s hardly a ringing endorsement but what else is there to say about it?

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Bo Dallas – Dirty Deeds

Rusev b. Fandango – Accolade

Roman Reigns b. Big Show via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered

Titus O’Neil b. Big E. – Clash of the Titus

Alicia Fox/Brie Bella b. Naomi/Tamina – Ax kick to Tamina

Ryback b. Seth Rollins via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The big story coming out of last week: product placement and lame action. The shows really aren’t lighting the world on fire right now, but a lot of that has to do with a lack of the Authority and Brock, because without the two of them, them show comes off as a glorified Smackdown. Get to the point already or get rid of the Authority as the main focus of the show because otherwise, a show without them on it isn’t going to go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap covers last week’s product placement and Rollins reuniting the team.

We open with Heyman and Lesnar coming out to the exact reaction you would expect for them in a smark paradise like Chicago. Heyman talks about how the Authority thinks Brock is still in Tokyo, because they allowed him to show up tonight. Lesnar is a god and hallowed be his name, but he isn’t a god of love or charity or kindness. No, Lesnar is a god of violent retribution and the sword that will pierce Seth Rollins’ shield.

Heyman brings up the Streak but points out that it wasn’t because of any malice towards Undertaker. Heyman: “This one you’ll cheer.” When Brock took John Cena to Suplex City, it was just because Lesnar wanted the title and not out of disrespect. The same was true for Reigns at Wrestlemania, but it’s not the case for Seth Rollins.

No, Rollins has broken the 11^th commandment by cashing in Money in the Bank, running away from a rematch and having his Authority buddies attack him two weeks ago. Heyman’s job is to sell us on Battleground in St. Louis, but the beatings and the suplexes begin tonight in Chicago. The Beast of Battleground is waiting for the champ tonight, so Rollins better be ready.

Kane is in Hawaii and we have badly photoshopped and unfunny photos to prove it.

The Stooges have taken a road trip and we’re going to get pictures later. That…..could work?

Big Show vs. Ryback

Non-title and Miz is at ringside in director’s chair with a microphone. In an inset interview, Ryback says he is one of the few who can manhandle Big Show and Big Show doesn’t like that. Well not many people would but Ryback never was very insightful. Miz starts shouting into the mic but only tells the big guys to hit each other.

The fans really don’t seem pleased with this one and Show chops Ryback in the corner. Miz: “ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!” Ryback kicks him in the face a few times but Show knees Ryback into the corner. This is a very slow and lumbering match so far which isn’t a great choice for the opening match. Miz distracts Ryback so Show can slam him down as we take a break.

Back with Show holding a leg lock and Miz telling Show that he should never retire (WOO!). Ryback powers out and takes out the knee as well before dropping Show with three straight shoulders. The Meat Hook and a splash get two but the top rope version misses. Show hits a chokeslam and middle rope elbow, drawing in Miz for the double DQ (he was smart enough to hit them both at once) at 9:24.

Rating: D-. I have tried and tried to defend this three way feud but my goodness Big Show is dragging it down. Ryback is trying to become a more interesting character but there’s only so much you can do with Big Show as the power moves against him look cool, but once you’ve seen them a few times (over the last fifteen years or so) they lose a lot of their impact. Let him do comedy again or something, because Show as the big, strong monster is WAY past its expiration date.

Miz attacks both guys and then begs both guys to wait for Battleground. Ignore the large gap behind him where he could run at any time of course. Miz takes a Shell Shock and chokeslam and another Meat Hook drops Show again. At least the champ stood tall.

More Kane hysterics.

The Stooges went to Wrigley Field and weren’t impressed. They could at least take the price sticker off the window. That car better bite the dust before the end of the night.

Brie Bella vs. Paige

Paige gets backdropped to the apron to start and the announcers are already on the amount of days Nikki has held the title. So we’re just stuck with nothing interesting until we get to AJ because Nikki is interesting or something.  Nikki: “BRIE MODE!” You can hear the crowd dying for this one, which could be because this story hasn’t changed in weeks now. Fox gets in a cheap shot but Brie knees down her sister/friend at the same time by mistake. Paige sidesteps the middle rope dropkick ala Samoa Joe but the other girls get involved, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D. This story needs to go somewhere already, and by somewhere I don’t mean having Naomi and Tamina come in to help Paige. This story has been set up for something major and the same Divas being rotated in one more time certainly isn’t it. The Bellas are long past interesting at this point and while Nikki is better than she was, this story needs a rest but we’re pretty much confirmed for the next few months because AJ MUST DIE or something.

Paige gets beaten up post match.

Recap of Wyatt vs. Reigns from last week.

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Get your countouts ready now. Reigns shoves the briefcase out of Sheamus’ hands before we start and the brawl is on with a devastating headlock. Sheamus knees him in the ribs to take over but Reigns pulls him off the middle rope and knocks Sheamus outside. They’re still firmly in first power gear at this point.

Sheamus actually wins a slugout on the apron and sends Reigns face first into the post as we go to a break. That looked (and sounded) good at least. Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock and a nice loud CM PUNK chant keeping the crowd from being bored. Reigns’ best way around this is a bunch of clotheslines, followed by a BIG clothesline in the corner. Feel the intensity!

The Irish Curse is countered and a Samoan drop connects. The Superman Punch is countered into another Irish Curse for two but Reigns Superman Punches him out of the air….and here’s Bray. Roman charges up the ramp and Superman Punches….somebody, as Bray pops up on the screen and says anyone but you. Sheamus wins by countout at 11:20.

Rating: C. Decent enough power brawl here but like I said, it was no secret that we were going to get a countout or some kind of wonky finish. It wasn’t anything of note, but there’s only so much you can do with power brawls, especially when we just had one about forty minutes ago. WWE REALLY needs to work on alternating their styles because you keep getting the same styles of matches over and over and they get old fast.

Post match Randy Orton comes out for an RKO. I had been wondering where he was.

The WWE Network is in Italy. Uh….yay.

Rollins comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what Seth is going to do about Brock Lesnar. The champ thinks he has Battleground in the bag, but HHH is worried about tonight. Rollins needs to do the unthinkable tonight: have him laid out by the Authority like they did two weeks ago. To be fair, that is pretty unthinkable. Imagine the Stooges and Rollins being a real threat to Brock.

Here are Rusev and Summer Rae to keep this mess going. Rusev loves having a submissive Summer around but gets annoyed at the fans wanting Lana. He rambles on about being better than Dolph Ziggler until Summer tells the fans to give Rusev the respect he deserves. Rusev: “Thank you hot Summer.” Is she a radio chick now?

Cue Ziggler and Lana with the former saying Rusev achieved everything he has in WWE because of Lana. Dolph says Lana is his now and it’s time for kisses. The girls tease a fight but Rusev blasts Ziggler with the crutch before taking off the boot. This goes on for nearly five minutes with the only highlight being Summer attacking Lana. Ziggler’s comeback didn’t work and the beating just kept going.

This was WAY too long and my goodness Ziggler sucks in this role. After all the years of being with whatever girl can get him somewhere he’s all gaga over yet another good looking blonde because…..she likes him? Is there any other reason for these two to be together? Rusev needs to murder Ziggler and then do something bad to Lana and then never speak of this whole mess again.

Post break they actually do the big serious talk about Ziggler being attacked. Ziggler even did a stretcher job. This story SUCKS and there is no need to ever talk about it again. Figure out how your characters work and then don’t screw with them because going against established characters is one of the worst things you can do in wrestling or any other form of entertainment.

Bo Dallas vs. Dean Ambrose

Before the match, Dallas talks about how that was a bad thing happening to a bad person. Good things happen to people like him though, as long as you BOLIEVE! The dueling WE BOLIEVE/LET’S GO AMBROSE chants start up as Bo gets two off a clothesline before hitting the chinlock. Bo misses a knee drop and gets bulldogged down, setting up Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:59. This was WWE saying “yeah Ambrose is still a thing after losing Thursday. Oh you didn’t know he lost Thursday? Well then never mind.”

The Stooges got stuck in traffic. Seriously.

R-Truth vs. King Barrett

No entrance for either guy as this feud just keeps going. Barrett stomps him down in the corner to start and a clothesline takes them out to the floor. Truth is sent into the post a few times and we hit the chinlock. A big boot gets two for Barrett and we take a break. Oh freaking joy we get to see more of this match. Barrett hammers away but runs into a series of clotheslines (WAY too popular tonight and in general). Winds of Change is countered into a crucifix for two but a low blow drops Truth. Truth goes up and dives into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. So? Barrett has knocked Truth out a few times already, so what difference does it make if he does it again? Why should this horribly uninteresting feud that has made Barrett look even less important than he was when he was Intercontinental Champion? Barrett could be doing ANYTHING else and it would be better but we’re stuck with this. The match was boring too, just like everything else they’ve done.

Back from a break with another look at Ziggler being beaten down. This is treated as way too big of a deal after the mess they’ve made of this feud.

Here’s Rollins with an ax handle and the Stooges with their car and their own ax handles. Oh come on man. No one could possibly be that stupid. Rollins is going to burn Suplex City to the ground before going on about how awesome he is a bit longer. He finally asks if Lesnar is just Heyman’s….uh….I think you can figure this out, so here’s Brock. All three are ready for him so Brock thinks better of it and tells Heyman to bring him something. Heyman brings over an anvil case containing a pair of axes. Oh this is going to be good.

Brock smashes the ax into the car door and can’t even get it out, so he breaks a few windows and tears off a door. The door goes flying into the crowd (apparently hitting a fan, who was ok) and now it’s time for the Stooges to come save their car. Noble winds up with a broken arm and Mercury gets suplexed onto the hood, much to the delight of the crowd. Brock chases Rollins out of the ring and holds up the title to wrap things up.

THIS is what Brock should have been doing for the last six months. Just have him break stuff and be a freak of nature. Don’t have him get beaten down by Kane and the Stooges like EVERY OTHER FACE EVER. That was the problem with the HHH feud: anyone could have played Lesnar’s role. Here, there isn’t anyone else that Rollins hasn’t already beaten or has any real reason to be afraid of anymore so only Brock really fits.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

Woods is the odd man out here and the Players are on commentary, with a shirt for Cole. The Dragons speed things up to start but Kofi comes back with a kick to the ribs (devastating!) before it’s off to Big E. Titus goes on about some kind of fungus that Big E. has (maybe he could use a washcloth to clean it up. It didn’t make sense when they said it for weeks on end (and yes I know what it is) so why not say it again here?) before the Dragons clean house and dive on all three New Day guys as we take a break.

Back with Kofi getting two on Kalisto before it’s off to Big E. for more clubbing forearms. The abdominal stretch with the slaps set up a chinlock from Kofi as we hear about where everyone went to college. The hot tag brings in Cara and Titus takes over on commentary, doing a pretty awesome old school play by play, including a quick rant about how he should have JBL’s salary. Everything breaks down and the Midnight Hour ends Cara at 10:16.

Rating: C. This was fine and a nice way to set up the title match at Battleground. Neither of these teams are exactly lighting the world on fire at the moment but it’s nice to see something other than the team fighting over and over again. Titus continues to be WAY more charismatic than half the roster and deserves the success he’s having.

Steve Austin is on the cover of WWE2K16.

It’s Open Challenge time but first we get a package on Owens losing the NXT Title in Tokyo over the weekend. Cena says have no fear because the champ is here, meaning there will be a title match right here on Raw. Again Owens interrupts and says this is the worst part of the show every week because the people have to listen to Cena saying the same garbage over and over again. The bell is about to ring but here’s Cesaro one more time. Cesaro says he deserves another shot because he had Cena ready to tap out but Owens cost him the title shot. Owens walks away from the threat of violence and it’s time for a rematch.

US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. A quick uppercut puts Cena down on the floor and we take a very early break. Stop doing that nonsense and just have the bell after the break. We got maybe 40 seconds of “action” and then miss three and a half minutes. I hate that way of thinking. Back with Cesaro stomping away as he almost has to play the heel here, even though he’s turned face for all intents and purposes.

A one arm delayed vertical suplex with a squat gets two but Cena shrugs it off (because it’s a suplex) and drops Cesaro with a front face electric chair drop. The AA is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to the chinlock. That’s good for a second commercial in about five minutes of actual match time because they’re really trying to fill in time. Back with Cesaro catching Cena’s shoulder in a backbreaker and countering the Shuffle with a crossface.

That’s countered into an AA attempt but Cena has to settle for the STF instead. A rope is grabbed so Cesaro rolls some gutwrench suplexes for two of his own. That was a cool looking spot, as always. Cena blocks the Swing by doing a big situp into a DDT for two of his own and the fans are starting to buy into this. Cena rolls through a cross body into the AA but Cesaro lands on his feet.

Swiss Death is countered into a hurricanrana for two and both guys are down. The fans officially think this is awesome so they’ve won over one of the tougher crowd. Cesaro makes it even more awesome with a spinning springboard uppercut for an even closer two. They fall to the floor with Cena backdropping him into the timekeeper’s area but the referee takes his time counting. Well to be fair that’s not really a main event level finish so you can’t go there again.

Cena shoves Cesaro off the top for two off the Fameasser and then tells him to hold the ropes, which Cesaro does to counter another AA. A HUGE Swiss Death connects for two more but a quick AA gets the same. Both guys are spent so Cesaro is able to grab the Swing, setting up the Sharpshooter which he transitions into another crossface, but Cena slips out and puts on the STF.

Cesaro powers out of THAT and lifts Cena up into the air for a snap suplex. That is just scary, scary power. The Springboard Stunner misses so badly that Cesaro just Neutralizes Cena for two instead of going down. Cena’s tornado DDT is stopped in midair and Cesaro slaps him down into another crossface, sending Cena into the ropes for a chorus of boos.

The apron superplex (with EASE) gets two but Cena pops back up and floats over into a Batista Bomb (the sign of Cena being desperate) for a sloppy two, as called out by the announcers. Cena takes him to the corner but almost gets caught in a super Neutralizer, only to be countered into a super AA to retain the title at a mind blowing 30:10.

Rating: A-. Yo Vince, I think the guy can connect to the fans. Cesaro is basically where Dolph Ziggler was a few years ago: having really entertaining matches but never being able to show what else he can do because he’s never given the chance. Cesaro is one of the rare cases where he nails every single thing he’s asked to do and almost everyone is begging for him to move up to the next level, but something about a superhuman freak with a good look who can speak five languages fluently and has nearly fifteen years experience doesn’t click with Vince and for some reason the guy never gets the push he deserves.

At least there was this though, which is somehow better than last week’s near classic. Cena and Cesaro are guys with incredible chemistry and yet another example of someone going out there and having maybe the match of their lives against Cena. I’m hoping that when Cena retires, people look back at him in awe because this is a once in a generation kind of talent and we take him for granted.

Owens runs in and eats an AA to close the show.

Overall Rating: C. It took a lot to bail this show out but thankfully the main event is awesome and eats up well over half an hour to close things out. Other than that and the awesome BROCK SMASH segment, there really wasn’t much to see here. The wrestling in the first hour was horribly lame and the Rusev vs. Ziggler stuff has to end with Ziggler getting eaten like a Russian stew or the whole thing is an even bigger disaster than I was expecting. The main event leaves this on a very positive note, but there’s a lot for it to overcome here.

Results

Big Show vs. Ryback went to a double DQ when Miz interfered

Brie Bella b. Paige – Bella Buster

Sheamus b. Roman Reigns via countout

Dean Ambrose b. Bo Dallas – Dirty Deeds

John Cena b. Cesaro – Middle rope Attitude Adjustment

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