I know I’m not the biggest fan of the current product, but this show actually gives me hope. I didn’t expect anything the first two years they ran this show and they were both excellent surprises. It’s way too soon after Extreme Rules and way too close to Elimination Chamber, but maybe they can pull off something good for a good show. Let’s get to it.
We’ll start with the preshow and the match that makes me want to go on a hatchet rampage: the Meta Powers (yes seriously) vs. Ascension. Now let’s pause for a second here. I like to consider myself a patient man. I’ve sat through some of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever seen and managed to survive. I got through every original episode of Monday Nitro and Thunder (and now I’m doing it AGAIN). I even made it through the Ruthless Aggression Era on Monday Night Raw.
But now I think I’ve reached my breaking point (which may or may not include Randy Orton torture material). After a year of the Ascension being one of the coolest tag teams of the year in NXT and seeing them debut as a pretty cool throwback idea, I’m going to have to watch Curtis Axel and Damien Sandow imitate great wrestlers beat them in an unfunny comedy match because Vince and Dunn will laugh at it.
Ascension may be the greatest travesty in wrestling in years and now it’s time to put this thrown together team over them for the sake of a lame comedy act. Remember when Charlie Haas did this and it got old in like two months? This isn’t even getting two months, at least not from me. It’s two guys with nothing better to do than imitate legends because WWE decided to have Miz win the blowoff and then run off to go make a movie, leaving Sandow around to flounder because they don’t think more than an hour ahead at any given time. I can’t stand this idea and it’s going to make me want to hurt someone. Maybe Repo Man.
Oh yeah there’s a full pay per view to go.
Cena over Rusev, even though Rusev somehow getting the title back would be more interesting. However, I’ll take Cena retaining as we can get more of the Open Challenges, which are pretty easily what I look forward to the most on Raw every single week. Even the fans in the arena are catching on. Notice how strong a reaction Cena has been getting lately. Let a good wrestler have good matches and people will cheer. Yes, it really is that simple. What isn’t simple is HOW HAVE THESE TWO NEVER HAD A FLAG MATCH? If there has ever been an easier layup for a gimmick I don’t know what it is, but we’ve never seen one.
Rollins to reta…..I’m sure about this aren’t I? WWE has actually made me think about this one more than once and I can’t believe I’m saying that. The key here is Elimination Chamber, because there’s the slightest chance they’ll pull the trigger on a two week title reign for someone and then get it back on Rollins. Unfortunately I think they’ll keep the title on Rollins here and set up his defense against Kane at the nothing pay per view. At least that keeps it quick I guess. Yeah Rollins to retain and no one turns.
I think they’ll go with Barrett over Neville. Despite winning King of the Ring earlier this month, somehow he needs the win more. It’s very sad to say but that’s actually the truth. Neville is going to be over because of his awesome flips and the fact that he busts out a different move every now and then to keep things going. The fact that this guy debuted like six weeks ago and is basically a coin toss against the King of the Ring is astounding.
Sheamus beats Ziggler to even the series, setting up a blowoff at Money in the Bank because they’ll both be inside the Chamber for the Intercontinental Title because WWE keeps the same people in the same spots on the card for like ever.
And now……wait…..I think I……..I THINK I CAN FEEL THE POWAH! Yeah I still love that intro. If this isn’t the match of the night by about 18,000 miles, I’m going to be shocked. I think New Day holds the titles in the 2/3 falls match over Kidd/Cesaro and then drops them inside the chamber, which might be best as you don’t want them to lose their heat. This is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see how they handle the Elimination Chamber match. I can’t believe it but dang this is the best thing going today.
Ryback vs. Wyatt is happening too. That’s about the extent of my thoughts about it at this point even though I think about it more than any feud going on right now. It’s such a weird feud as they really don’t have a reason to be fighting. Bray just picked Ryback and is feuding with him, but the match has the potential to be very entertaining with two guys beating the tar out of each other for about fifteen minutes. I’m actually not sure if this needs more development or not. Bray isn’t the kind of guy that needs a reason to do anything and if the matches are good, who cares?
Tamina and Naomi to beat the Bella Twins so Naomi can get into the title hunt, whatever that means. You have like eight activeish Divas (Bellas, Naomi, Tamina, Fox, Cameron, Natalya and Summer. Yes I left off Rosa and if you can’t figure out why, I’ve failed at educating you) including the champion and her partner. Who isn’t in the title hunt?
Overall, I’m actually looking forward to this show. This has the potential to be a really, really strong card (when is the last time I didn’t say that actually?) with only the Divas doing nothing for me. Yeah there’s another show in two weeks, but this could be a really fun outing, especially with such low expectations.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: May 14, 2015
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
It’s the final show before Payback and we’re pretty much all set up. Raw ended with Ambrose standing tall over his three opponents, meaning tonight is likely going to end with one of the other three doing the same, albeit not over the other three people in the match. Raw has been good lately so Smackdown has a lot to live up to. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Bray Wyatt talking about Ryback coming face to face with him on Monday. Ryback is a very strong man, but he has an Achilles heel. Bray is going to prove that the Garden of Eden does exist and tonight he’ll scratch an itch. Ryback’s dreams will be turned into nightmares. Resist the itch and run. Why are these two even fighting?
Here’s Dean Ambrose to get things going. Dean says he works best alone, fights alone and drinks alone. It felt good on Monday to stand alone because this Sunday it’s every man for himself. You have Seth Rollins and his Lollipop Guild Goon Squad. Randy Orton was last seen eating a spear. That leaves Roman Reigns, who is Dean’s only friend in the world. Dean has one thing to say to Roman, but he’ll get to say it to his face as here comes Reigns.
Dean isn’t going to apologize but Reigns wasn’t expecting one. This past Monday, Dean hit him with Dirty Deeds and that’s all he’s going to get. There’s no grudge between them because they’re brothers but this Sunday, Reigns is bringing the big guns. They’re about to shake hands when Kane comes out.
Dean should be less concerned with winning the Slammy Award for Bromance of the Year and be worried about what he has to do. Ambrose brings up HHH’s decree that Kane is out of a job if Rollins doesn’t win on Monday. This might be the last night we see Corporate Kane. That’s not cool with Kane, who makes Ambrose vs. Sheamus RIGHT NOW. Ambrose: “Is that the only time you know?”
Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
This match starts after a break. They fight up against the ropes with neither getting an advantage so it’s time to go basic. Ambrose grabs a top wristlock but gets taken down with a headlock. Dean ties his legs up though and grabs the mohawk for a kick to the back. Sheamus gets a boot up in the corner but Dean bulldogs him down to take over again. The running dropkick against the ropes is countered and Sheamus knees him out to the floor.
We take a break and come back with Dean slugging away but getting caught in the Cloverleaf. Dean makes the ropes like any good rebellious hero should do, only to charge into White Noise. To be fair he deserves that after not selling the hold. The threat of the Brogue Kick sends Dean to the floor and he nails a hard clothesline to take over again.
Back in and it’s a missed Brogue Kick, a clothesline to the floor and a suicide dive to take Sheamus out again. Back in again and Sheamus’ tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. He takes too long to follow up though and eats a clothesline, sending Dean to the top. Sheamus tries what looks to be a top rope powerslam (facing the floor instead of the ring though) but Dean slips out to avoid the whole broken back thing and sends Sheamus face first onto the post, followed by a rollup to give Dean the pin at 12:42.
Rating: B. This was the fun power brawl that you would expect between these two. Ambrose is one of those guys that can work well against anyone regardless of their size or style. Unfortunately it came at the expense of Sheamus, who has lost almost all of his momentum since returning with the really good bully character. Therefore, he’s likely getting the title in the Chamber.
Rollins channels his inner Stephanie by repeating the stipulations of Sunday’s match to Kane in a way that no normal person would ever actually speak. Kane says he’s set for life and doesn’t need the Authority’s money. Oh and Rollins gets Ryback tonight.
Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. The fans chant USA but Rusev says the woman wants to talk. Lana reads a prepared statement, apologizing for Fandangoing on Raw last week. It should all be about Rusev, who shows us a clip from Raw where Rusev interrupted Neville vs. Cena and beat John up post match. I can’t wait for this feud to be over already so the writers have to wake their lazy brains up for a change.
Rusev knows Cena was quitting in his head when he passed out, but this Sunday everyone will hear him quit. We get a loop of Cena saying he quits (out of context) from Raw and no big followup line to end this. Lawler however does think that video was doctored because Cena never gives up.
Ryback says he’s no meat head. He saw fear in Wyatt’s eyes on Monday but tonight, he’s hungry.
Tough Enough videos, including one from Gabriel Iglesias.
Here’s Rollins with something to say before his match with Ryback. He continues the trend of showing clips from Raw by giving us his big beatdown, but promises that’s the last time anything like that will happen.
Ryback vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title but that might not matter as Wyatt jumps Ryback on his way to the ring. Back from a break and Ryback says he can go because he’s tough that way and the idea of calling a DQ for someone attacking before the match is unheard of in this company. Ryback tries a suplex to start but Seth knees him in the head to escape and knocks Ryback out to the floor. He dives back in at nine and eats a DDT for two. We see a clip of Bray’s attack, which was just a shoulder block. Ryback is that banged up off a single shoulder?
A neckbreaker gets two for Seth and he slaps on a front facelock. Ryback counters exactly how you would expect him to and plants Seth with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to put both guys down. The big guy gets all fired up and nails a not great spinebuster for two. The Meat Hook connects but Rollins rakes the eyes (a rare sight these days) to break up the Shell Shock. Seth hits the top rope knee to the head and the a pair of low superkicks for the pin at 8:23.
Rating: C. So to recap, a shoulder block is enough to knock Ryback silly and give him a huge disadvantage? I love the idea of not having Ryback lose clean, but couldn’t they have had Bray send him into the steps or give him a big beatdown or something more than a simple shoulder? The match was fine and actually had a story to it of Rollins focusing on the head with the low superkicks getting the pin. It’s not as good as the curb stomp but I’ll take a high impact move over that lame falling DDT.
Here’s what you missed on the WWE Network this week. So the news broke this week that the classic content wasn’t getting a lot of views. Now I’m just thinking out loud but maybe people might watch it if it was advertised, say, once. That’s just nutty though as WWE thinks eight minute interviews with the stars of a movie that is bombing or Wiz Khalifa is what really draws in the viewers.
It’s the Bellas vs. Naomi/Tamina on Sunday. That makes sense but can we please stop finding ways to keep the title on Nikki? It’s just not going to be seen as epic no matter how WWE tries to spin it.
Naomi brags about how strong Tamina is and says they’re tired of walking around empty handed. The Bellas get all the opportunities around here, even though Nikki is overrated and Brie is more worthless than her quitting husband.
Tyson Kidd vs. Kofi Kingston
Before the match, Woods informs us that Cesaro/Kidd are cheaters but the New Day is giving them one more title shot on Payback. Big E. tells us just how bad Cesaro/Kidd are: they don’t recycle, the double dip and they buy one ticket at the movies and go see two! The New Day is the change you need to see in this world and the fans should sing with them. Instead it’s a siren and we’re ready to go.
Kofi kicks him in the ribs to start as Woods is cheering even harder than usual this week. Tyson fights back and knocks Kofi to the floor for a big flip dive (Woods: “KOFI MOVE!”). The New Day distraction prevents the Sharpshooter but Tyson gets it on a few seconds later for the submission at 2:06.
Elimination Chamber preview.
We see Bryan’s speech from Raw as he vacates the title. This seems to be the promised health update.
Here’s Bo Dallas with something to say. He saw Daniel Bryan vacate the title on Monday but he sees it as an opportunity. There are five stages of grief and Dallas can help you through them all. First up is denial, but there is no denying that Bryan let all the fans down. Next is anger, which the fans should feel towards Bryan for letting you down.
Third is bargaining. You’ll get one heck of a bargain on those Daniel Bryan t-shirts now that he’s gone. Depression is going to completely engulf Bryan when he realizes everyone has forgotten him. Finally there’s acceptance and Dallas can help us all accept that Daniel is gone. All you have to do to accept it is Bo-lieve! Dallas will have a job for years with promos like this.
Neville vs. Bo Dallas
This is joined in progress after a break with King Barrett on commentary and Neville flipping forward out of the corner. Neville sends him to the floor but gets pulled down onto the apron to give Bo an opening. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit but Neville fights back with those running kicks to the head. A longer Red Arrow than usual is good for the pin at 2:17. I believe this is Neville’s first match against anyone who has never held a WWE Title.
Post match Barrett mocks Neville for wearing a stupid costume every week. This Sunday Neville is in for some corporal punishment in the form of a royal Bull Hammer.
The Rosebuds ask Adam Rose when they’re going to be paid. Rose doesn’t take kindly to this and says they’re just like the Bunny. The hot dog gets pushed down and the party is officially over. Rosa kisses him and Kane walks by them on his way to the ring. So the Rosebuds are officially gone. That’s probably for the best, but Rose really needs to get away from Rosa as she’s possibly the most worthless Diva in years.
More Tough Enough hype.
Kane vs. Roman Reigns
Pin or submission only, making this a glorified street fight. Kane goes after Reigns during the entrance again and they slug it out on the floor before the bell. Neither guy can get the better of it until Kane sends him into the steps. We finally get a bell and Kane punches Reigns back to the floor, only to miss a stairs shot against the post.
It’s kendo stick time (because there must be kendo sticks under the ring at all times for reasons that aren’t entirely clear) but Kane takes it away from Roman and pounds him down. A kendo stick to the face gets two and we take a break. Back with Reigns taking a big boot to the face for two more before Kane throws him outside.
Kane loads up the table but Reigns punches him down and nails a clothesline off the table. It’s time to bring the steps back in as Reigns drives them into Kane’s head to put him down again. Roman throws in a pair of tables but Kane takes his head off with a big boot for two. The chokeslam through the table is blocked but Kane catches the Superman Punch in a chokeslam through the table for two. Thanks for coming Kane and if you would kindly stand in front of that table in the corner for the spear please. A Superman Punch puts Kane in perfect position and the spear through the wood is good for the pin at 11:16.
Rating: C. Decent enough brawl but it felt like they were filling in time until the obvious ending. Kane is still capable of having a power brawl but my limited interest in him is killed by the long promos with HHH and Rollins, plus a story that almost no one cares about. Good enough here though and Reigns kicking out of a big finisher keeps up the idea that he never quits.
Seth isn’t worried about Reigns but it’s going to take more than that to get this belt off him on Sunday. That’s true for anyone that wants to take the title off of him, including Ambrose…..who is behind the Stooges. For some reason he has a plate of cookies to throw at them but the numbers catch up with him. This brings in Roman Reigns for the save and they stare each other down. The camera pans down to show the belt on the ground. Roman extends his hand but Dean reaches down and picks up the belt. He puts it on Reigns’ shoulder, saying he’ll take it back on Sunday.
Overall Rating: C-. How was this possibly a two hour show? It feels like we should just be at the halfway mark and somehow the whole thing is already done. This show did as well as it could have with what it had though, as Payback just isn’t that interesting. I don’t have much of a reason to care about seeing the same stuff that’s been boring me for five hours a week for another three hours this Sunday. Passable episode this week but nothing past that.
Results
Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus – Rollup
Seth Rollins b. Ryback – Low superkick
Tyson Kidd b. Kofi Kingston – Sharpshooter
Roman Reigns b. Kane – Spear through a table
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw Date: May 11, 2015
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.
It’s the go home show for Payback and the big story tonight is the return of the Authority, who are back after a few weeks off on vacation. Coming out of last week, the most interesting change is Cincinnati’s own Dean Ambrose being added to the main event on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
HHH arrives without Stephanie. There may be hope yet.
Opening sequence.
Here’s HHH to get things going. He talks about how his kids are so much better behaved when he says Daddy’s home, which is how things need to be around here with Kane and Seth Rollins. Seth is out first and agrees with what HHH (his daddy you see) said: they need to be on the same page. The fans want Ambrose but they get Rollins calling Kane a 7′ cancer trying to kill the Authority from the inside.
Rollins rants about Kane making the App vote to set up the triple threat, which was then turned into a fourway with Dean Ambrose. Seth: “THERE! Are you happy? I said his stupid name!” Maybe it’s time for Kane to be put aside as Director of Operations, because he’s not the same Kane that HHH used to run with. When were they EVER friends? Was that in the glorious Attitude Era when everyone was just so close in the destruction of WCW, which of course was never any sort of threat to the WWF, especially with DX around to win the Monday Night Wars totally on their own?
The argument starts again but HHH cuts them off to say he understands that Rollins can be annoying at times. However, he and Kane need to work together. Therefore, if Seth doesn’t leave Payback with the title, Kane must set himself on fire. Sorry, bit of a flashback there. If Rollins doesn’t keep the title, Kane is out as boss. HHH needs to makes sure Kane is invested in the plan though, so he makes Kane vs. Reigns and Rollins vs. Orton tonight. Noble interrupts but HHH laughs the Stooges off and makes short jokes before putting them in a handicap match with Ambrose.
Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Dean Ambrose
Ambrose beats on Mercury to start and clotheslines him out to the floor before going after Noble for a change of pace. Jamie begs off and runs to the floor to escape Dirty Deeds, allowing Mercury to sneak in from behind and pull Dean off the top and onto the ropes. Joey’s chinlock doesn’t do him much good as Dean sends the Stooges into each other. Jamie gets chopped down but Mercury breaks up the bulldog out of the corner. That earns them a double suicide dive, followed by the top rope standing elbow for two on Jamie. Dirty Deeds ends Noble at 5:23.
Rating: D+. What do you really want me to say here? It’s a total massacre with Dean never breaking a sweat to win. I’ll give them this though: the Stooges are a better option in the ring than the originals, as you could only but Patterson and Brisco as a physical threat against a handful of people. Noble and Mercury aren’t great, but they’re hardly ancient.
Cole says there’s an interesting poll on WWE.com where fans give Ambrose a 25% chance to win on Sunday. Just….yeah.
Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett
Sheamus on commentary and Barrett’s pre-match promo tell us that it’s Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Barrett vs. Neville on Sunday. Ziggler superkicks Barrett at the bell for two and we take an early break. Back with Barrett putting on a royal chinlock before Dolph fights up for two off a Fameasser. A dropkick gets the same for Dolph and draws Sheamus out of his chair. The distraction lets Barrett nail the Bull Hammer for the pin at 6:00. Too much in the break to rate but this was nothing to see.
Post match Sheamus yells that Dolph isn’t fit to clean his shoes and winds up eating a Brogue Kick.
Erick Rowan vs. Fandango
Harper is in Rowan’s corner and this is revenge from Smackdown where Rowan laid Fandango out. The announcers take bets on how long it takes Rowan to crush Fandango. A spinwheel kick and full nelson slam give Erick the pin at 37 seconds.
It’s Open Challenge time and Cena is surprised that there are some people here who sound like John Cena fans. Whether you like him or hate him, it’s pretty clear that everyone respects the US Title. Cena believes that this is the greatest country on earth and this title is its trophy.
There are wrestlers who will work their entire lives and never get a chance at the WWE Title, but that’s what makes the US Title special: everyone has an opportunity to take this from him. Everyone except Rusev that is, because he wants his match at Payback. People have advised Cena to cancel the Open Challenge tonight, but Cena thinks we should ask the people. The fans want a match so the challenge is on.
US Title: John Cena vs. Neville
Neville tries an armbar to start but the champ drops him with an elbow to the jaw for two. We hit the chinlock but Neville fights up and dropkicks Cena outside as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the shoulders until he walks into a German suplex for two. Cena rolls outside and takes a huge corkscrew Asai moonsault with a big crash landing. Back in and a middle rope Phoenix Splash gets two on Cena. Neville fires off his kicks but charges into a sitout powerslam for two.
Cena can’t follow up but he can roll through Cena’s middle rope cross body into an AA, only to have Neville flip out and blast Cena with a superkick for two. The Red Arrow takes too long to set up though and Cena pulls him into the STF, only to have Neville roll over for two. Cena gets annoyed with Neville and takes his head off with a clothesline. Back up and Cena misses a charge and gets kicked in the head, only to snap off an AA for two. Cena loads up the super AA but Neville counters into a sitout powerbomb. The Red Arrow connects but Rusev comes in for the DQ at 14:47.
Rating: B+. Well of course Rusev comes in because THIS FEUD MUST FREAKING CONTINUE EVEN THOUGH NO ONE BUT THE LAZY WRITERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO DO ANYTHING NEW AND JUST HAVE THE SAME STUPID MATCH OVER AND OVER UNTIL NO ONE CARES ABOUT RUSEV BECAUSE CENA BEATS HIM THREE PAY PER VIEWS IN A ROW. Great match of course but gah I’m sick of this Cena vs. Rusev feud because no one on the planet buys Rusev as having a chance save for a fluke ending.
Rusev Accolades Cena post match and we get the eternally stupid question of CAN RUSEV MAKE CENA QUIT ON SUNDAY? Allow me to put this politely: STOP BOOKING CENA IN I QUIT MATCHES BECAUSE THE IDEA STOPPED BEING INTERESTING TEN YEARS AGO!
Kane vs. Roman Reigns
Kane jumps Reigns during his entrance and destroys him before the bell. Reigns fights back and knocks Kane into the barricade, only to be sent hard into the steps. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Reigns dives over the steps and Superman Punches Kane onto the table. A spear onto but not through the table puts both guys down. No match.
Brie Bella vs. Tamina
This is basically a proxy match for Naomi vs. Nikki. Tamina takes Brie down with some hard shots, including a stiff clothesline for two. Brie flips out of a belly to back and fights back, only to screw up a ram into the buckle. How can you possibly screw up pushing someone into a buckle? The running knee in the ropes has Tamina in trouble but she comes back with a superkick for the pin at 3:22.
Rating: D. How do you screw up ramming someone face first into the buckle? It’s hard for me to say this but Nikki is so far ahead of Brie in the ring that it’s not even funny. Brie didn’t look lost out there but she didn’t look polished on offense. Granted it might be because she’s been relegated to a glorified cheerleader in recent weeks.
Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow
Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Mandow loads up the elbow about thirty seconds in but cue the Ascension to say this isn’t entertaining. This is now the age of total devastation so welcome to the wasteland. Ascension hits the ring at about 2:00 for the no contest…..and they’re promptly beaten down as the new Mega Powers hit the leg and load up the elbow but Ascension bails. We even get the big handshake as the Ascension is further buried. And yes, this is being buried.
Tough Enough videos.
Here’s a sad looking Daniel Bryan with something to say. He’s been in and out of doctors’ offices lately and it’s given him a lot of down time. Bryan needed to be back here with his music playing and the fans cheering for him. He can’t remember how long the fans have been cheering for him like he’s something special but it was about a year ago when he had to vacate the World Title. Stephanie McMahon told him that he couldn’t do it last year and as much as he hates to admit it, she was right.
Last year he couldn’t wrestle and give the title the respect that it deserved. That brings him to tonight, as he doesn’t know if he can defend this title regularly. He recently had an MRI and the doctors aren’t sure when he’s going to be able to get back in the ring. The fans deserve wrestlers fighting for this title in this ring, and this ring is where Bryan is going to leave it. Tonight the title is officially vacated. Daniel and the fans thank each other and he walks away.
Here’s New Day for a match but first, Woods says don’t be sad over Bryan because it’s a NEW DAY. Everyone deserves a second chance (Big E.: “Except Pete Rose.”), so they’re giving Cesaro and Tyson Kidd a second chance on Sunday in a 2/3 falls match.
Big E. vs. Cesaro
Cesaro grabs a quick slam for two before knocking E. to the floor for a break. Back with Cesaro reversing an abdominal stretch into a gutwrench suplex. Cesaro has to roll away from a Warrior Splash but gets caught by a Rock Bottom out of the corner for two. Back up and Cesaro hits a ridiculous springboard spinning European uppercut before rolling some Germans. Kidd and Woods get into it on the floor but the distraction lets Cesaro small package Big E. for the pin at 9:50.
Rating: C. This was decent enough but they needed less time in the break and more time in the match itself. Cesaro continues to thrive in this face role as we’re seeing what fans wanted to get last year instead of the Paul Heyman guy disaster. Nice little TV match here, but there’s nothing these teams can’t pull off.
Axelmania/Macho Mandow vs. Ascension on the pre-show. Well of course it is.
There’s going to be a second pay per view in May, featuring the return of the Elimination Chamber on May 30, or two weeks after Payback.
The Prime Time Players imitate the New Age Outlaws this week. If you’re not down with that, they have three words for you: millions of dollars.
Here’s Bray Wyatt to talk about the fear that is sold to us every day. Fear of a crumbling economy that will never stop. Fear of a global conflict. Fear of a dying earth. Ryback must be such an inspiration to all of you. His ankle was destroyed and he was told he might never get in this ring again. Ryback got back in though and destroys everything in his path, but he’s never seen anything like Bray Wyatt before. Sometimes the bad guy just wins. Only on C level pay per views, so Bray has a good shot on Sunday. Cue Ryback to clean house.
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title and Rollins is on his own. Orton runs him over to start and stomps away but Rollins sends him into the middle buckle. A knee to the back sends Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Orton in a chinlock before fighting up and nailing a superplex. They slowly slug it out with Orton taking over off some clotheslines but charging into an elbow to the jaw.
Rollins dives into the powerslam for two but nails the springboard knee to the jaw for two. He really likes hitting Orton in the jaw. A t-bone suplex puts Seth down but Orton rolls outside, setting up the suicide dive from the champ. They’re just trading big moves here. Back in and the RKO is countered into the low superkick (of course to the jaw) for two more. Rollins charges into the elevated DDT and the RKO is loaded up but we’ve got Stooges for the DQ at 14:15.
Rating: C. This was decent enough but they weren’t hiding the impending DQ. I’m not a fan of matches like these but the majority of the match was spent trading big moves, which at least keeps things interesting. It’s nothing great, but I don’t think this is going to be as well received as it should.
Post match Orton gets beaten down but Kane comes out to get a chair. Ambrose and Reigns come out to clean house, leaving Rollins surrounded. Kane watches as Seth takes all three finishers but Reigns spears Orton down, only to walk into Dirty Deeds to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near as good as last week, but that’s not a fair standard to live up to. The key improvement in the last two weeks has been the pacing. They’ve cut WAY down on the amount of backstage segments and it’s made the show so much easier to sit through.
Those times in the back where Kane and Rollins bicker and the Authority cuts their stupid promos that say nothing but eat up five minute each would bring the shows to a grinding halt. However, we really, really need to get past Payback so we can get in a fresh story….which will last two weeks until the Elimination Chamber because WE MUST SELL THE NETWORK! EVEN IF THE PLAN DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE!
Results
Dean Ambrose b. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Dirty Deeds to Noble
Erick Rowan b. Fandango – Full nelson slam
Neville b. John Cena via DQ when Rusev interfered
Tamina b. Brie Bella – Superkick
Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow went to a no contest when Ascension interfered
Cesaro b. Big E. – Small package
Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: May 7, 2015
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
We had a twist on Monday as Dean Ambrose was added to the fatal fourway at the pay per view for the World Title. While it’s likely that Ambrose was added to the match for the sake of taking the fall, he does add a fresh energy to the match that we haven’t seen so far. This show has a lot to live up to after Monday’s Raw. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Ambrose being added to the title match on Monday. Tonight we have a fourway contract signing.
Opening sequence.
Jerry Lawler is in the ring to open the show with an interview with the freshly crowned King Barrett. The new king doesn’t think much of Lawler because he just likes to call himself a king. Barrett on the other hand defeated three men in twenty four hours to prove his royal worth. If Lawler wants to be in the same ring with him, he must say ALL HAIL KING BARRETT.
Lawler can’t get any responds in before Barrett says Jerry is from the trailer parks of Memphis with that other fake king Elvis Pressley. Jerry won’t say the words so Barrett threatens a Bull Hammer. Cue Dolph Ziggler to call Barrett a Renaissance fair reject. A match is set up right now.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett
The King gets two off an early snap suplex and knee drop but Dolph dropkicks him out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Dolph fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked in the face for two more. Off to a double arm crank before Winds of Change gets yet another near fall. There’s the Fameasser for two but Sheamus runs in for the DQ at 6:29. Not enough show to rate but it was just there to set up the next match.
Neville runs out for the save and it’s time for a tag match.
Dolph Ziggler/Neville vs. Bad News Barrett/Sheamus
This is joined in progress with Sheamus driving Neville’s back into the apron and kicking him hard in the face. The Irish Curse gets two and it’s off to the King for another backbreaker. Neville tries to fight up but gets kicked in the face. There’s something so awesome about just kicking a guy in the face to put him down. We hit the chinlock from Sheamus before Neville breaks out of the ten forearms to the chest.
Sheamus is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s hot tag to Ziggler. Dolph fights off the UK contingent and hits the running DDT for two on Barrett. A superkick gets the same but Ziggler has to duck a Brogue Kick. Neville’s flip dive takes Sheamus down and Neville is right back up to break Barrett’s rollup with feet on the ropes (like any evil monarch should do). The Zig Zag gives Ziggler the pin over Barrett at 5:45 shown.
Rating: C. We were just kidding ourselves when we thought this was leading somewhere new for Barrett. He hasn’t even been king two weeks yet and he’s already getting pinned in a tag match. This is a match that really should have gone to a countout or DQ instead of having any of the four getting pinned. Let them fight another day so the pin can mean something more, or maybe have Ziggler, the most expendable of the four, take the fall.
Ambrose calls himself the chaos theory in the Authority’s equation. He’s the last guy you want in the match because he’s the last guy walking out with the title.
Luke Harper vs. Fandango
This should be painful. Harper teases some Fandangoing before the match and then boots Fandango in the face. Fandango scores with some dropkicks but Harper shrugs off a DDT. The big man nails a superkick of his own and the discus lariat is good for the pin on the dancer at 1:33.
Post match Erick Rowan comes out and beats up Fandango as well. It’s not like either has done anything in a few months so why not let them be a team again?
Here’s a smiling Lana with something to say. Before she can get there though, she takes the time to soak in a Lana chant. She asks them to stop though as the chants anger Rusev. This brings out the man himself to send Lana to the back while he gets the real work done. In this case that’s the same promo he’s done about Cena for months now, as he promises to make Cena quit at Payback. This somehow takes two minutes and various Russian to accomplish.
Roman Reigns says he’s been Orton’s rival forever and he hates Rollins, so the only person he can like in the ring is Ambrose. The quicker he signs tonight, the faster he can punch his way to the title. This is the kind of short, to the point promo that Reigns needs to stick with. There isn’t time for him to say something stupid and it stayed on point.
New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/???
It’s mystery partner time. Kidd/Cesaro have recruited…..Ryback. There are worse options out there. Ryback and Kingston get things going but Kofi has to stop to call off the NEW DAY SUCKS chants. They actually trade hammerlocks to start until Ryback hits an atomic drop so Kidd can nail a dropkick for two. Off to Woods but Cesaro tags himself in to nail a clothesline for two of his own.
In a cool spot, Ryback and Cesaro hit delayed verticals on Big E. and Woods. At the same time, Kidd comes in for a suplex of his own but does a snap instead. All three guys get in on the NEW DAY SUCKS stomps on Woods but he’s still able to escape the Sharpshooter. New Day winds up on the floor and all three get flattened by dives and clotheslines as the fans are WAY into Ryback and Cesaro/Kidd. Big E. finally drives Kidd into the apron and barricade a few times to take over. Back from a break with Woods jumping in with a tornado DDT for two on Kidd.
Big E. sends Tyson flying with a suplex but Xavier misses a charge in the corner. Kofi tries to break up the hot tag but Kidd gets to Ryback, who immediately cleans house. Everything breaks down and Cesaro does his running uppercuts spot and loads up the Swing, drawing in Big E. for the save. Instead Cesaro dropkicks Kofi down and the Andre/Snuka splash position sets up Kidd’s elbow drop on Kingston. Everything breaks down and Ryback stalks Woods up the ramp…..as the lights go out. No one appears but Big E. runs Ryback over. In the distraction, Kofi rolls Kidd up and grabs trunks for the pin at 12:49.
Rating: B. New Day does indeed rock and they’re really gelling in the ring. You couple that with a team like Cesaro/Kidd and someone who is figuring out how to be the wrecking ball in Ryback and you have a really solid match. The Wyatt stuff was fine as it gives you an out to end the match without anyone looking bad. Good stuff here as these guys just get better and better every week.
Orton says his strategy for the pay per view hasn’t changed because he’s going to take out anyone he has to in order to become champion. One of the members of Shield goes down tonight.
Naomi vs. Emma
Naomi and Tamina’s inset interview talks about how they’re going to remind everyone what they can do. Emma gets sent into the corner to start but does the same to Naomi for an early near fall. A neckbreaker into a nipup puts Emma back down though and a dropkick gets two. Some rollups get more near falls for Emma but the Rear View is enough for the pin at 3:26.
Rating: D+. Just a squash as Emma has somehow fallen even further down the ladder since Santino left. She’s a perfect example of someone who got over in NXT and was completely wasted on the main roster. I know there were outside circumstances, but there was no future for her when she was turned into just another smiling Diva with no distinct personality.
Tamina superkicks Emma for good measure.
Tough Enough videos.
Rollins says this is his title and thinks Kane sounds desperate when he tries to take credit for any of Rollins’ success. Seth has the mind that Kane will never have and it drives him crazy.
Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons
New gear for the Dragons. Kalisto and Fernando start and we’re in a chinlock 22 seconds after the bell. Thankfully Kalisto gets up after half a second and headlocks Fernando down before it’s off to Cara for a slingshot hilo. Diego comes in with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two but Cara finally comes back with a springboard double cross body. He tries a headstand in the corner but gets kicked down to the floor, allowing Torito to get in a cheap shot as we take a break. In this match?
Back with Cara slamming Fernando down and making the hot tag to Kalisto for a cross body of his own. The twisting cross body puts Diego down and the short hurricanrana does the same. Kalisto’s handspring into a spinning kick to the head stuns Fernando again, allowing Cara to small package him for the pin at 8:25. There was no need for a break in this match.
Rating: C. I would say this is a passing of the torch but Los Matadores have been in the dark since they debuted. The Lucha Dragons are far better in the role anyway and can get the crowd going with the LUCHA LUCHA LUCHA chants. Not a great or even good match but the fans were into the Dragons.
Los Matadores blame Torito for the loss.
Kane is here to emcee the contract signing. After a brief intro, he calls out all four participants as this is already taking a long time. Seth chills on the stage, prompting Ambrose to call him Justin Bieber. I really, really hope that isn’t foreshadowing the appearance of that horrible person. Seth mocks Reigns’ lack of speaking ability so Reigns has a sentence for him: He’s going to sign this contract and then take Seth’s head off. The fans chant for Randy and all three challengers sign.
Seth wants Kane to sign for him but Kane says do it yourself. Mercury is told to bring the contract to Rollins, but Seth would rather insult everyone instead of signing. Apparently Roman used to call Ambrose a Roddy Piper knockoff and Reigns can sign autographs better than he can wrestle. Orton is spoiled and only here because of his old man. Seth finally gets inside and signs and hands them to Kane, who he refers to as Mr. Obsolete.
We get the same argument for the 193rd time but Ambrose moves the table out of the way. “We all know how this is going to end anyway so I call dibs on the table.” The brawl is on with Ambrose throwing the chairs over the top, and hitting Noble in the head. Rollins dropkicks Reigns into Ambrose but has to bail from an RKO. Dean and Roman get into it but it’s the RKO to Ambrose, Superman Punch to Orton and springboard knee to Reigns to leave Rollins standing tall to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The long ending segment didn’t do much for me, but even worse is that I can barely remember what happened on this show two hours after it started. Looking back it wasn’t bad, but there’s no staying power to this episode. When your big moments are Erick Rowan turning heel again and the Lucha Dragons splitting up with their mascot, it’s clearly just a filler show. You really shouldn’t need one of those with three weeks between pay per views.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Dolph Ziggler/Neville b. Sheamus/Bad News Barrett – Zig Zag to Barrett
Luke Harper b. Fandango – Discus lariat
New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Ryback – Rollup to Kidd with a handful of trunks
Naomi b. Emma – Rear View
Lucha Dragons b. Los Matadores – Small package to Fernando
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 27, 2015
This was kind of a special episode as the King of the Ring was announced and set up in the span of a single day. Apparently the idea was to have it spread into May on the Network where people would have to pay for it, but since May is ANOTHER free month, they’re just turning it into a two night event instead. That makes me so much happier to have paid for the Network since day one. Let’s get to it.
We open with the story that just won’t die as Kane, Rollins and the Stooges are in the ring. Uh let’s see: Rollins brags, Kane blames Rollins for whatever (that’s a good point: why are these two even fighting? I think it’s something to do with Kane thinking Rollins is ungrateful or something, but they keep shouting all the time and it’s really gotten lost in the shuffle), Rollins tells him to shut up, they bicker like two idiots, Orton and Reigns come out and want title shots, Kane says it’s POLL TIME!
Barrett beat Ziggler in a pretty lame tournament match. That’s going to become a recurring theme: tournament matches mostly suck because they need to fly through the first round and there’s not much time to do things like build up a match.
Xavier Woods cheated to help Big E. beat Tyson Kidd. How nice is it to see someone cheating like a good old fashioned villain?
Ryback squashed Bo Dallas and then got beaten up by Bray Wyatt. This was pretty clear after the weights line from Bray last week, but I’m really not sure where this one is going. Ryback vs. Wyatt could be an interesting feud, but it could also be one of those where you watch the match, tilt your head a bit and then say “well that…….sucked? I think?” It’s an odd pairing but I like both guys so it could go somewhere. Oh and one more thing: why are people SO obsessed with seeing Bo Dallas as Bray’s disciple? Yeah they’re brothers. Does that mean they have to be together on screen? I’ve never gotten the mass appeal of the pairing.
There was no open challenge this week as Rusev came out beat up Heath Slater before he could answer and then did the same promo they’ve done about 15 times now. I’m really starting to get worried about Rusev as more than once now I’ve forgotten what he’s been doing since he lost the US Title. One day someone in WWE is going to have to sit down with me and explain the psychology behind taking someone who was really getting over and then having them lose on pay per view three times in a row to the same guy. I’m guessing this leads to Lana’s big face turn, but do we really need to kill Rusev to get there?
Kane and Rollins did their same schtick of threatening to call the Authority because the 7′ monster and the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION are the little kids to HHH and Stephanie’s mom and dad. This bickering angle is really getting old and again, I have no idea what I’m supposed to find interesting about it.
R-Truth beat Stardust to advance. You think I have anything else to say about this?
Adam Rose beat Fandango. To quote myself from the original review: “This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.”
Brie Bella couldn’t remember what emotion she was supposed to have when talking about her husband’s career possibly being over. Naomi shoved her down to continue trying to make the Bellas into faces because……well someone has to be in this division.
Naomi then beat Brie with one of the worst small packages I’ve ever seen. I’ll give them this though: there was a clear heel and face in the match and I had a reason to care about seeing Brie beat Naomi up. That right there is all the story I need. You have a villain and an opponent (I still can’t bring myself to call her a hero) who can give her what she has coming and maybe the match won’t suck. On a good day. Maybe.
Sheamus beat Dean Ambrose via DQ to advance when Dolph Ziggler interfered. Ambrose looked good out there and it was one of the better matches of the night, so there isn’t much to say here. One good thing though was Dean freaking out that Ziggler interefering was a DQ. His I GET DQ’d FOR THAT was right up there with Hogan thinking that Jimmy Hart wearing a striped jacket and counting the pin at Wrestlemania IX was enough to win the Tag Team Titles.
Damien Sandow’s new gimmick is mimicking people. You know, like four year olds do. I give this a month, max. There was something in there about beating up Curtis Axel too.
Neville beat Luke Harper because Neville is pretty awesome. This was a god way to have a young hero stand up to a monster like Harper and come out looking great. Neville is getting one of the best pushes I’ve seen in a long time and I’m getting more and more into his matches every single time.
The main event was a long Reigns/Orton vs. Rollins/Kane tag with Reigns pinning the champ. This was your standard main event tag match, meaning it was entertaining enough but longer than it needed to be.
The triple threat option won the poll because…..it’s too late in the night for sarcasm. It won because it’s a triple threat and that’s the only thing that was ever going to win.
This show was about setting up Payback and the tournament as fast as they could because somehow, despite OWNING ITS OWN NETWORK, WWE still can’t figure out something as simple as a schedule to let pay per views be properly built. Not a very good show but it did its job well enough. These episodes of building up future shows are never all that great so this was about as good as you can get, especially with the tournament stuff shoehorned in.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – April 30, 2015: The Rivalry Of This Era
Smackdown Date: April 28, 2015
Location: iWireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler
We’re four days removed from Extreme Rules, meaning we’re two and a half weeks from Payback. Coming out of Raw, the big story is Rollins having to defend his title against Randy Orton and Roman Reigns in a three way at the next pay per view, which WWE had spoiled about a week in advance. Let’s get to it.
This episode is dedicated to Verne Gagne.
We open in the back with Kane coming into Rollins’ office. Seth yells about Kane screwing up on Monday and making decisions not best for business because they’re not best for him. Kane tells him to cool it but Seth accuses him of being jealous. Kane promises to make a man out of him, so tonight it’s Rollins vs. Ambrose because it’s best for business. Seth thinks the Kane from 20 years ago would be best for business because this one has nothing to offer.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. First up we have a shout out to his boy Dean Ambrose for his match tonight against their little brother Seth Rollins. That would be the guy that ripped down everything they had built and then cost him the World Title at Wrestlemania. Thanks to Seth, every fight he’s had has been the biggest fight of his life, so wait until he gets his hands on him at Payback. This brings out Kane and it’s time for a match.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane
Slug out to start with Kane kicking him down into the corner before planting him with a belly to back suplex. Roman low bridges him to the floor and sends Kane into the post but a side slam puts Reigns on the announcers’ table. Back from a break with Kane holding Reigns in a bearhug before just stepping on his head. Roman gets back up and wins another slugout before suplexing Kane down. A middle rope clothesline puts him down again and Roman follows it up with more in the corner.
The Samoan drop looks to set up the Superman Punch but Kane catches him by the throat for a chokeslam for two. Reigns escapes the tombstone and hits a DDT (because it’s just a transitional move), followed by the Superman Punch but the threat of a spear sends Kane running away for the countout at 9:59.
Rating: D+. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about this potential Kane face turn but it’s not working. Kane is decent enough as a power enforcer but he’s the focus of the main event scene instead of the champion or either of the challengers. That’s really the best idea they have?
Renee asks Seth about what just happened. Rollins says the difference between himself and Kane is he finds a way to win the fight instead of running away all the time. He doesn’t need the help of the WWE, the Authority, or even the Stooges.
Cesaro/Kidd vs. New Day for the titles tonight. So much for building a match up.
Damien Sandow vs. Curtis Axel
Sandow has new generic rock music and mimics the ring announcer’s introduction. This has all of a few weeks before it gets old in a hurry. Sandow introduces Axel as the village idiot of Minneapolis and the Pigeon Toed Disappointment. Axel does the shirt rip and gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. This time it’s Damien ripping his own shirt off and throwing Curtis to the floor before sitting down next to him. Back in and Curtis stomps Damien down and chokes him in the corner. A corner splash misses though and Sandow Hulks Up with three punches and a big boot into You’re Welcome (full nelson slam) for the pin at 2:30.
Ryback thinks the eater of worlds has bitten off more than he can chew. Tonight, he’s dedicating his match to Bray Wyatt when he devours Bray’s former disciple Luke Harper.
Ryback vs. Luke Harper
They grapple around to start with both guys grabbing headlocks. That’s not Harper’s style though so he slugs Ryback down, only to get caught by the Thesz press and having his head rammed into the mat. Luke comes back with a snap suplex but Ryback one ups him with a delayed vertical suplex, complete with a few marching steps. Davey Boy pounds on Dynamite in the corner but gets powerbombed down as we take a break.
Back with Ryback getting Gator Rolled until he powers Harper off, dropping him face first onto the mat. A powerslam sets up the Warrior splash for two. Ryback plants him with the spinebuster but the Meat Hook is countered by a superkick. The discus lariat is blocked with a Meat Hook though and it’s the Shell Shock for the pin at 9:39.
Rating: C. I liked this about as much as I thought I would as you have two big power guys beating on each other for ten minutes. Ryback has been treated very well since his return to form and it’s nice to see him getting a strong push. There’s always going to be room for a guy like him with the smashmouth style and putting him in there against Harper or Wyatt could make for some good power brawls.
Speaking of Bray, he appears and beats Ryback down post match.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd
New Day took the title with some cheating on Sunday. Fans: “NEW DAY SUCKS!” Woods: “NO WE DON’T!” Kofi and Kidd get things going with Kidd grabbing a quick rollup for one, putting a big smile on his face. Off to a chinlock from Tyson before Cesaro snaps off an uppercut for two. The gutwrench suplex gets the same so Kofi tries a small package. That makes Cesaro chuckle as he powers Kingston up into a suplex, walks him over to the corner and tags in Kidd for a high cross body. That’s just scary strength.
Big E. comes in off a blind tag but walks into a German suplex to keep the challengers in control. We get the NEW DAY SUCKS rhythmic stomping in the corner but a Kofi distraction lets Big E. knock Kidd off the apron to finally take over. Kidd gets caught in the wrong corner for some stomping from Kofi, followed by stomping from Big E. and a dropkick from Kofi. Kingston goes to the middle rope but dives into a dropkick. Big E. runs in to break up the hot tag attempt and we take a break. Back with Big E. holding Kidd in a bearhug before planting him with a belly to belly.
The New Day Boom Drop connects but Tyson ducks Trouble in Paradise, finally allowing for the hot tag to Cesaro. European uppercuts a go-go in the corner get two for Cesaro before a gorilla press drop gets the same with Big E. making the save. Big E. speeds things up and cleans house as everything breaks down. Kidd dives through the ropes to take out Kofi before Cesaro’s middle rope back elbow drops Big E., setting up the Swing into the dropkick but Woods runs in for the DQ at 13:35.
Rating: B. These four have awesome chemistry and this was no exception. Now if only they could have a match built up instead of just throwing it out there on a Smackdown five days after the title change. Earlier this week on Austin’s podcast, Wade Keller suggested building it up as a big time Smackdown main event like a month out. Why not? The match would rock and WWE clearly doesn’t care about Smackdown anyway.
Summer Rae and Cameron are catty about Brie and Naomi. Nikki comes out to run Summer off and stands up to Cameron for her sister’s honor. A match is made for later.
Tough Enough videos.
Cameron vs. Nikki Bella
Non-title. This is Nikki’s chance to carry a match. Naomi gets an inset interview talking about all the good the Bellas think they can do in the world. What good have those two ever done other than paying for a plastic surgeon to have a new boat? Nikki throws her down and does some jumping jacks before cranking on an armbar.
Cameron fights out of an armbar and ducks the spinning kick out of the corner. A running kick to Nikki’s back gets two and the silence as Cameron shouts at the referee is disturbing. We hit the chinlock on Nikki for a bit before she fights up and hits the second attempt at the kick out of the corner for two. The big forearm sets up the Rack Attack for the pin on Cameron at 3:56.
Rating: D+. So here’s the thing: Nikki isn’t horrible in the ring. She can even have a totally passable match more often than not. However, whether it’s “I WISH YOU DIED IN THE WOMB!” to “of course my sister forgave me for being horrible to her” to having to carry Cameron, she gets stuck with some of the worst booking I’ve ever seen. I don’t think she’s ever going to be anything special in the ring, but she’s doing what she can with what she has.
The Prime Time Players ask about the New Day and hear crickets. They introduce the New Day Clap Away box, which disappears whenever you clap enough times. You should call to put the Prime Time Players on TV and get their shirts on WWEshop.com so they can make millions of dollars.
Rollins and the Stooges come in to see Ambrose and ask him to step down instead. HHH is going to be back soon and he’ll take out his rage on anyone who was involved with this mess, including Ambrose. Dean says that sounds good but he means seeing Rollins get humiliated.
Long recap of Tuesday’s King of the Ring special with Barrett coming out with the crown.
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title. Dean starts on the armbar early on, sending Rollins outside for a breather. Back in and Seth takes him down with a hammerlock but Dean reverses and kicks him in the back of the head for two. A clothesline puts Seth on the floor but Dean follows him out for a right hand to the head. The Stooges get in some cheap shots so here’s Kane to even things out, at least in theory.
Back from a break with Dean kicking him in the face but getting stomped right back down. Dean finally scores with a big clothesline followed by a barrage of chops and punches. A bulldog out of the corner sets up the standing elbow but Rollins kicks him out of the air, only to get dropkicked to the floor. Dean nails a suicide dive and takes Seth back inside for two off a faceplant. They head to the corner with Rollins pulling Dean down into the buckle bomb for two more.
Rollins and Kane are ready to get inside and celebrate but Kane stares at Seth on the kicking. A surprise rollup gets two for Dean and he backdrops Seth onto Kane. Back up and Dean dives on everyone not named Rollins, who sends Ambrose into the barricade. Kane grabs Dean and Seth by the throat, earning him a tongue lashing from the referee. Dean has to save the referee but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. That falling front DDT is enough to give Rollins the pin at 13:46.
Rating: B-. They went a different way than I was expecting here but it still worked. Kane vs. Rollins isn’t an interesting feud but they seen dead set on running with it no matter how many people fall asleep watching them. Above all else though: Rollins’ new finisher is horrible. It looks like a transitional move but it’s the finisher of the WWE World Champion. There must be something better than that.
Kane stares Seth down post match but joins the Stooges for the big beatdown. Cue Roman Reigns (coming down the ramp for a change) for the save. A double spear drops the Stooges to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Solid show this week with good wrestling almost all around and two really solid matches. They set up more of the Reigns vs. Rollins part of the title match while leaving Orton’s part for Monday. Kane is still annoying but at least they kept it short. Anytime I get to see Ryback trading shots with another brute and New Day vs. Cesaro/Kidd, it’s a good night. Solid show this week.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Kane via countout
Damien Sandow b. Curtis Axel – You’re Welcome
Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered
Nikki Bella b. Cameron – Rack Attack
Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Falling front DDT
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 20, 2015
With just six days to go until Extreme Rules, WWE has a long way to go to get me interested in the show. It isn’t likely helping that they’re just back from the big European tour and are likely to be jetlagged half to death. The big story is likely to be more build between Rollins and Orton, who are loading up for a pretty lackluster title match. Oh and Kane because of reasons I don’t understand.
Orton opened the show in a cage, promising to hurt Seth this Sunday and take the title. Rollins and the Stooges came out and told him to get this out of his system now because it won’t work on Sunday. This sounds appealing to Randy, who promises RKO’s all night.
I really, really didn’t care for this segment as it’s more of the old standard walking you through everything they’re doing that night instead of doing anything that feels organic or natural. Why do they have to tell us everything they’re going to do instead of SHOWING US everything they want to do? Just have Orton start RKOing everyone backstage and let the fans go “oh that was cool” instead of sitting around waiting for it. Not a fan here but this story isn’t exactly one that inspires intellectual stimulation.
Ambrose and Harper had a quick non-match to set up their street fight on Sunday. These two could have an entertaining brawl if they’re allowed to just go nuts.
The Prime Time Players continued their recent awesome run by scaring the daylights out of Rollins and the Stooges, who are terrified of Orton attacking them. HHH popped up and laughed off their worries, as well as mentioned Kane because that’s the big story around here.
New Day, now fully heel, cheated to earn a title shot on Sunday over the Lucha Dragons via countout. Notice that they didn’t just have the Dragons get pinned here to kill their momentum. Instead, the faces (or faceless ones actually) lose because the heels cheated, keeping them strong and making the heels look like cheaters. That’s common sense booking and hopefully something that we see more often.
Orton came out and RKO’ed Kingston (with a botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, which looked really bad. He’s done) and Woods. This would be more of the theme that they made VERY CLEAR earlier in the night in case you were too stupid to figure out that Orton is RKOing everyone he can on a path to Rollins. That’s a bit too complicated for wrestling fans I suppose.
Fandango beat Curtis Axel in the weekly filler.
HHH announced the return of Tough Enough and most people didn’t seem to care. Could it be because outside of John Morrison, the most successful winner had a career highlight of eliminating Undertaker from the Royal Rumble and having the most amazing eyebrows in the history of wrestling?
Anyway the REAL story here was Kane coming out and tried to quit his job as Director of Operations because he’s tired of Rollins disrespecting him. Rollins came out and argued a lot as this story just won’t die already. HHH made them shake hands after Kane said the Rollins was just in the right place at the right time and anyone could have been made champion in his place. They kept arguing after a break and Rollins vs. Ziggler was made for later tonight.
Then the Bellas decided they were good now and Nikki shouted COME ON BRIE about 100 times to show off her new found goodness as Brie lost to Naomi. This would be the polar opposite of the “here’s what we’re going to do” booking as instead of showing you every step, they’re just at the end already without any real reason.
Think about it. The Bellas went from being full on villains to halfway down the spectrum in a week and for what? Mainly because WWE screwed up and turned almost the entire Divas division heel. I know I get on the Bellas quite a bit (which I still say they deserve a huge amount of) but the direction of their characters and sudden drastic changes to their characters have been some of the most jarring and worst ideas I have ever seen in wrestling. That being said, they don’t do themselves any favors with their average at best matches and BRIE MODE/COME ON BRIE!
Randy Orton RKOed Heath Slater into his salad. See, THIS is the kind of surprise moment they should have been going with all night instead of telling us the idea.
Roman Reigns wanted Big Show but got Bo Dallas. Superman Punches, spears and Reigns saying Bo-lieve that abounded in a fun little segment.
Sheamus massacred Zack Ryder until Dolph Ziggler came in for the save. This was fine to get the point across.
Cena issued the open challenge and had a horrible match with Kane to retain the title. Here’s a sign of Cena’s greatness: he has bad matches with Kane and Big Show, but name someone else he doesn’t bring up to a higher level. If there are only two people in his career where it doesn’t work, he’s roughly 100 steps above most other talent. Rusev would attack Cena later in the night to set up the title match Sunday.
Bray Wyatt talked about how his new target can’t lift his way out of this one. That makes me think Ryback, which could be a nice surprise or a disaster, though they’ve been treating Ryback like a monster again, which is certainly a good thing.
Miz beat Mizdow in less than three minutes when Summer Rae turned on Mizdow in one of the most obvious heel turns this side of Big Show turn #1894. So to recap, Mizdow takes forever to turn on Miz, loses the battle royal to Big Show after getting really close, then loses two out of the three matches to Miz. Why do I even bother getting behind someone when their big goal is to build someone up to sacrifice them on the altar of WWE Studios? Miz got an RKO to emphasize that the entire Miz vs. Mizdow story meant nothing.
Ryback mauled Adam Rose and then beat up a hot dog and banana.
Kane and Rollins bickered some more with Rollins offering an apology.
Rollins vs. Ziggler was every Rollins vs. Ziggler match you’ve ever seen. The cage lowered post match so Rollins could hide from Kane. If you don’t know what was waiting for him when he turned around to end the show, you haven’t been paying close enough attention.
Raw really wasn’t very good this week and so much of it revolves around how lame the main stories have been. Kane was the focal point of the show this week with this never ending argument with Rollins, which seems destined to result in Kane screwing Orton over on Sunday and the Authority revealing it was all a huge swerve that we never saw coming. The wrestling was nothing to see this week either and it made for a really weak three hours. Extreme Rules and these rematches need to be gone soon, as does Kane’s never ending main event run. He just isn’t interesting and it’s killing the rest of the card.
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw – April 6, 2015
So yeah this one is kind of late but it’s been a very hectic week and reviewing a show that didn’t do too much for me in the first place wasn’t really high on my priority list. We’re past the Wrestlemania season now and things are about to settle way back down. It’s now the Wrestlemania rematch season though and that can be a rough go. Let’s get to it.
The opening was, of course, the Authority but thankfully without HHH and Stephanie, who are on vacation for the next few weeks. After a few unintentional shots at Kane for not doing much at Wrestlemania, Rollins bragged about how great he was. Well he’s certainly getting into the heel champion schtick already. Orton came out, said his usual stuff, and was put into a triple threat for the #1 contendership against Ryback and Reigns. All three will have singles matches first though.
Before we get to the first match, there’s something that needs to be noted here: Rollins is VERY lucky that the Authority hasn’t been on Raw for the last two weeks (if you count the week after this show). If they’re on the show with him and associated with him, they’re going to dominate whatever scene they’re in because Raw is completely centered around the two of them (and by the two of them I mean Stephanie because we all know this is her company). Let Rollins have some spotlight as the new champion, at least until the bosses get back.
I’ll sum up the three matches here: Orton beat Kane in a short match via DQ, Ryback beat Luke Harper in an even shorter match with only one big move, and Reigns pinned Big Show because what else would he be doing? None of these were anything worth seeing, but they certainly did help fill in time on the show. What else were they going to do? Give the Divas a chance out there?
Neville’s second match on Raw was against Seth Rollins. Of course Rollins won, but I’ve actually seen people saying Neville is being buried. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Curtis Axel, Seth Rollins, Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus this Thursday. In his five TV matches on the main roster, the lowest level guy he’s fought is a former Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion. That’s one of the best groups of opponents I’ve ever seen someone start against.
This week’s open challenge for the US Title was answered by Stardust. That’s exactly what this thing should be used for: giving someone like Stardust, who isn’t going anywhere at this point, a good match and something interesting to do for one night. When else is he getting a title shot or a match with Cena? Stardust loses to a guy he’s supposed to lose to, Cena beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and we get a title defense in a good match. Everyone wins, except the fans that don’t get how common sense and logic work.
Naomi pinned Nikki again in a tag match with Paige joining her against the Bellas. This was a horrible match with Naomi botching a ton of stuff and the Bellas proving every criticism of them right: they have no flow in the ring, they have limited charisma, their work is ok at best and there’s nothing interesting to them. But that’s what we’re getting in the Divas division because what else could we ever get?
The Prime Time Players kept making fun of other tag teams. This is more interesting than anything else they’ve ever done so run with that thing.
The New Day doesn’t like the fans booing them because their clapping gives them strength. This was another chance for Big E. to show off his comedic chops as he imitated a young kid. Why they use him like they do when they clearly know about his other talents is beyond me. Then the Lucha Dragons beat them in a short match because New Day sucks.
A bunch of Divas came up to Kane and asked for a #1 contenders battle royal next week. Of all the things they can set up in advance, it’s a DIVAS BATTLE ROYAL???
Sheamus came out and explained that he’s acting this way because he’s tired of the little guys getting pushed. He’d fight anyone his size, and then he beat Mark Henry in about two and a half minutes. Another hometown boy bites the dust.
Bray Wyatt has a new target. Let me know when he actually beats one of these targets.
Miz cheated to beat Mizdow. You can pencil in Mizdow beating Miz with the same move next week.
Orton won the triple threat to go to Extreme Rules in a quick but decent match with the Authority interfering as much as you would expect them to.
This was resetting things for Raw and there wasn’t a lot to see on it. There’s enough good on it to make the show work, but this was about setting up things for later on instead of getting things done tonight. It wasn’t anything to see though and that makes for a dull show instead of a bad one, which often times makes for a worse show. Not much to say here, which you can probably tell.
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Monday Night Raw – April 6, 2015: The Three Headed Killing Machines
Monday Night Raw Date: April 6, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s back to the regular style shows this week with Wrestlemania season wrapped up. The big story coming out of last week was Brock Lesnar’s suspension, meaning we’re not likely to see him again for a few months. In the meantime, we have Randy Orton challenging for the World Title at Extreme Rules, which is likely the focus of tonight’s show. We also find out who is answering this week’s open challenge for the US Title. Let’s get to it.
Saxton is in for Cole on commentary.
We look at some stills of HHH vs. Sting.
The Authority is in the ring minus HHH and Stephanie. Rollins is booed out of the building but Big Show says the champion is trying to talk. Seth says the Authority is on vacation tonight before bragging about the attendance record, the number of people watching and the number of times they trended worldwide. That last part sounded so stupid. HHH put the final nail in WCW’s coffin because the Authority always win. Big Show is officially the best giant of all time and Kane…..well Kane was there too!
Show says everyone on this roster is under his shadow but the important thing is Wrestlemania ended with a new, honorable champion. Rollins again fails at coming up with something Kane did at Wrestlemania but before Kane can give his answer, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt. Randy congratulates him on having his Wrestlemania moment. Of course it happened after a huge RKO took him out earlier in the night.
Rollins calls that complaining but Orton says he wants another shot, this time for the title. I’m pretty sure that match was already confirmed on Smackdown, or at least heavily implied. Orton asks Kane for the shot, and even asks if Kane needs to call mommy and daddy for permission. Kane demands respect and makes a three way match for the #1 contendership tonight between Orton, Reigns and Ryback. As usual, I had that typed before Kane even started because WWE is that predictable these days. However, Kane mixes things up a bit by saying all three of them have to compete in singles matches first.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
Randy gets to the middle rope to start and drives in some forearms to the chest, only to get caught by an uppercut to knock him to the floor. Back from a break with Kane stomping away but getting caught in the elevated DDT. They head outside with Orton nailing a clothesline, only to take a chair to the ribs for the DQ at 6:58. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a way to get to the storyline ending.
Post match Kane tries a chokeslam on the chair but Orton counters into an RKO attempt, sending Kane running.
The announcers bring up AJ retiring and show a tweet of her boots.
Brad Maddox is in Kane’s office when Rollins comes in to yell at Kane. The priority is to protect Rollins, but for some reason Kane doesn’t get that. Kane takes credit for Rollins winning Money in the Bank, so Rollins says Kane is going to have to answer to the Authority. That’s fine with Kane, as he puts Rollins in a match tonight. For those of you counting, that would be five matches made during the show.
Cole is considering legal actions against Lesnar. JBL had to have emergency surgery for a torn abdomen wall and Booker wants Lesnar fired. Yay! Legal ramifications!
We look back at Lesnar’s path of rage last week.
The WWE Network is free for April. That’s the third free month out of six.
Seth Rollins vs. Neville
Non-title and Rollins is suddenly far less nervous. He grabs a mic and talks some trash to Neville, saying Neville must be terrified to be out here. Rollins has been there before too and offers the pipsqueak a chance to sit this one out. Neville kicks him in the ribs and we’re ready to go. A quick armdrag puts the champ down but he stomps Neville in the corner to take over. Neville does his front flip out of the corner and hurricanranas Seth to the floor, setting up a big flip dive. He slides back in to avoid the Stooges and we take a break. Back with Neville being sent face first into the middle buckle and Seth dropping knees to the face.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins picks him up for some knees to the ribs. Seth is toying with him as he drives some elbows into the head before putting on another chinlock. A running clothesline flips Neville inside out but he counters the buckle bomb with a hurricanrana. It’s Red Arrow time but Mercury offers a distraction so Noble can break it up. Instead it’s a quick rollup for two on Seth, who counters another hurricanrana into the buckle bomb. Curb Stomp ends Neville at 11:39.
Rating: C+. Let’s get this out of the way right now: Neville is not buried, isn’t being buried, and doesn’t even have any dirt on him. If you need an explanation for why, I’ve failed at teaching you anything. This was a good showcase for Neville but there was no other logical way this could end without interference. The fact that Neville is in this spot two weeks in is a great sign for the future.
Rollins gives him another Curb Stomp after the match.
Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. The city of Austin has declared this WWE Day so Cena is extra fired up. A lot of fans want him to come out and lose the title already, but this title is a symbol of opportunity. Someone can come out here and have a chance to put their name in the history books. Take Rusev for example. He wants his rematch for the title, but for some reason he wants to wait until Extreme Rules. Why not have the match tonight in Austin? Anyway, someone can come out here right now and step up to get stepped on.
US Title: John Cena vs. Stardust
Cena grabs a headlock to start and throws Stardust to the ropes, only to have him skin the cat. Back in and Cena drops some elbows as the announcers talk about Back to the Future for no logical reason. A delayed suplex gets two for the champ as Cena is mixing things up this week. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Stardust bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cena diving into a dropkick and Stardust hitting something like Diamond Dust for two.
What looks to be a springboard hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb to give Cena a near fall of his own. The AA doesn’t work so Stardust hooks an Alabama Slam for another two count. Cross Rhodes is countered as well and Cena plants him with a kind of sitout powerslam. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Stardust kicks him in the head and gets another close cover off a DDT.
A moonsault press gets the same and Cena is in some trouble. It’s not enough trouble though as he trips Stardust into the STF. Stardust is close to the ropes though and hits a quick Cross Rhodes for two. That’s enough for Cena as he hits the springboard Stunner and the AA retains the title at 13:10.
Rating: C+. This is exactly what the open challenge should be doing: giving someone you don’t usually see in a spot like this getting a chance to showcase themselves. Good match here with Stardust getting to show off a bit but ultimately coming up short. What I liked best about this match though: it was fresh. I’ll take a match with an obvious ending over a match we’ve seen 19 times before almost every time.
Naomi/Paige vs. Bella Twins
The Bella Twins’ name graphic now lists them both as Divas Champion. I know it’s not intentional but it’s probably more accurate than they intended. Brie takes Paige into the ropes to start and sends her to the floor for a hard shot from Nikki. The BRIE MODE knee gets two and we hit the chinlock.
Off to Nikki for a bodyscissors for a bit before Nikki misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Naomi. She botches a spinning headscissors before kicking Nikki in the face before slipping on a landing out of the corner. The Rear View gets two with Brie making the save, only to have Paige kick Nikki down. The headscissors driver gets zero reaction but it’s enough to pin Nikki at 5:00.
Rating: D-. Sweet Christmas the Bellas are dull in the ring. They’re just not interesting no matter how you look at them and there’s nothing in the ring that makes me want to watch them. It didn’t help that Naomi was botching almost everything she was doing here and looked more like Cameron than anyone else. Horrible match that gave me flashbacks to the dark days of the division.
The announcers talk about Miz vs. Mizdow but we go to the Prime Time Players ripping on New Day with the same insults from Smackdown. They switch over to making fun of Ascension with some home made spiked shoulder pads that keep breaking. Ascension can’t read either and they hit the Millions of Dollars dance. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks.
Luke Harper vs. Ryback
Harper nails a quick dropkick to start and a big boot sends Ryback to the floor. After teasing loading up the announcers’ table, Harper takes him back inside for a Boss Man Slam and something like a crossface. Ryback gets the rope, avoids a charge to send Harper into the post and hits Shell Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 2:48. That was his only significant move of the match.
The New Day is hurt and disappointed by the crowd thinking they suck, but they won’t find disappointment in their dancing. They clap or they snap. Big E. says he was eating at the airport yesterday when a kid came up and asked him (with Big E. doing a kid’s voice) to sign a breakfast menu for his brother. Of course he could, because he claps. It really doesn’t make more sense in context.
New Day vs. Lucha Dragons
Kofi is on the floor this time but his slapping of the apron makes the fans chant NEW DAYS SUCKS in time. Big E. runs Cara over to start and both he and Woods take turns stomping away in the corner. Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya are watching in the back as Woods gives up the hot tag to Kalisto. Things speed way up with Kalisto snapping off the hurricanrana but Big E. makes the save. Cara low bridges Big E. to the floor but Kofi gets in a cheap shot from the floor to give Woods two on Kalisto. Woods like the cheating but the Dragons make a blind tag, allowing the Salida Del Sol to set up the Swanton from Cara to pin Woods at 2:59.
Big Show vs. Roman Reigns
Because, uh, reasons! They slug it out to start with Show taking him into the corner for some chops. Show throws him across the ring by the vest and stands on his back on the ropes. They head outside with Show slowly plodding around and throwing Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes back with a running apron kick but Show spears him down as we take a break. Back with Big Show still dominating because, uh, reasons!
Show charges into a boot in the corner and gets staggered by some clotheslines, only to catch Reigns in a side slam. The bouncing Vader Bomb gets two more and Show baseball slides him into the barricade. Reigns comes up to the apron and hammers away before Stunning Show over the apron. The Superman Punch from the floor sets up another in the ring. The third sets up the spear for the pin at 10:39.
Rating: D. I did not like this match. I am ceasing this rating description for reasons as an exercise in anger management due to a desire to not die at the age of 43, which is also Big Show’s current age, which is usually when wrestlers retire but he’s still out there getting to dominate people and for some reason WWE doesn’t get that we don’t care.
Kane is on the phone when a bunch of Divas come in to hit on him. They bring up the “Give Divas A Chance movement” (Alicia’s finger quotes, not mine) and ask for a #1 contenders battle royal. Kane makes the match for next week to get rid of them.
Reigns says watch what he does next.
Here’s Sheamus to say he looks like a real man. The fans tell him that he looks stupid but he says the grown up is talking now. He’s a warrior who belongs here, unlike the go getters who just won’t go away. People like Dolph Ziggler are insects who need to be crushed. Sheamus is told to pick on people his size, but there aren’t too many his size. Cue his opponent.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
Henry is the hometown boy. Sheamus goes to leave but gets pulled back into the ring to start the fight. The bell rings and Henry blocks a kick with a right hand to the face. A top wristlock goes badly for Sheamus as he’s shoved to the floor. Back up and Sheamus can’t finish the ten forearms as Henry elbows him in the face, only to have Sheamus nail some knee lifts on the apron. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick for the pin at 2:33. Booker calls Sheamus a viking for no apparent reason.
We look at the big talking segment from Wrestlemania.
Bray Wyatt shows up on screen and says someone’s entire life revolves around dedication. However dedicated you are, you can’t compete with the forces of nature. You can’t compete against fear either, for it is not your drive for success that motivates you. What motivates you is fear and it holds the key to your undoing. Does he have your attention now? Behold the new face of fear.
Ryback is hungry for the WWE World Title.
Damien Mizdow vs. Miz
We get a battle of sunglasses removal to start but Mizdow knocks him to the floor before taking his off. Back in and Mizdow chokes him in the corner but eats a big boot to the face. Mizdow shoves him to the corner but doesn’t seem that comfortable on offense. A snap suplex and knee drop keep Miz in trouble. Mizdow scores with an electric chair and headbutt, followed by the Reality Check for no cover. Miz tries a low blow but gets taken down and punched in the face. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks is enough to pin Mizdow at 5:03.
Rating: D+. This show is going WAY too long and it’s starting to drag horribly. It’s pretty clear that this match was designed to set up a gimmick rematch, maybe for the rights to the name and the music, at Extreme Rules. Nothing much to see here though, other than Mizdow looking awkward on offense at times.
Orton has nothing against his opponents but he’s winning tonight.
Ryback vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton
Winner gets the title shot at Extreme Rules. Ryback tries to Shell Shock Reigns seconds in but gets taken down by Orton’s backbreaker for two. A clothesline gets the same on Reigns but Ryback throws Orton to the floor. Cue the Authority on the stage, where they can see Ryback powerslam Reigns. Roman breaks up the elevated DDT on Ryback before clotheslining him in the corner. There’s a Superman Punch to Orton but Ryback plants Reigns with a spinebuster.
The Meat Hook puts Reigns down again but Ryback has to stop Orton with a spinebuster as well. Reigns breaks up Shell Shock on Orton with a spear and all three are down. Now the Authority starts coming to the ring but Reigns dives on all of them. Show KO Punches him though, only to have Rollins go after Orton. Cue the Stooges to go after Orton but Ryback beats them up. The RKO on Ryback sends Orton to Extreme Rules at 5:18.
Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it wasn’t bad while it lasted. I’m getting back into Ryback but there was almost no way Orton didn’t win here. Unfortunately it really seems that they’re setting up Reigns vs. Big Show again, despite the interest just not being there. That never stopped them before though.
Rollins hits a Curb Stomp before we can hear what the voices do in Orton’s head.
Overall Rating: C-. This show was more good than bad but it really started dragging at about 10:30. At the end of the day, three hours is just too long for a single wrestling show every week. It doesn’t help that a lot of the talent was working twice tonight and we had more than one Divas segments. The stuff with the new guys or the new characters was good, but they really need to get away from Big Show and the Bellas. Those three are just crippling whatever scenes they’re in and the fans aren’t going to lighten up on them anytime soon. Watchable show this week but it needed to be half an hour shorter.
Results
Randy Orton b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Seth Rollins b. Neville – Curb Stomp
John Cena b. Stardust – Attitude Adjustment
Naomi/Paige b. Bella Twins – Headscissors driver to Nikki
Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock
Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Swanton Bomb to Woods
Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Spear
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick
Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Randy Orton b. Ryback and Roman Reigns – RKO to Ryback
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: