Smackdown
Date: November 15, 2013
Location: Phones4u Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re still over in England for the final TV show of the tour. Things are finally starting to shape up for Survivor Series and not a moment too soon. We’re nine days from the PPV and there are only three matches announced so far. Raw hinted at a traditional Survivor Series match between Shield and perhaps Bray Wyatt vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Usos which could be entertaining if not a bit lopsided. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw and the big twelve man brawl.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos

As the Family is on on the way to the ring, Cole announces the Family vs. Punk/Bryan for Survivor Series which should be a good rub for the monsters. Jey charges at Rowan to stat but takes a knee to the ribs. Off to Harper who charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Jimmy for a running forearm in the corner. Jey makes a blind tag and Jimmy superkicks Harper to stagger him back. Harper shrugs it off and punches Jimmy in the mouth to take over.

Rowan comes in for a neck crank as JBL and Cole talk about Rowan wearing the mask so “he can be anybody he wants to be.” Jimmy escapes a belly to back suplex and tags out, only to walk into something resembling a high collar suplex for two. Jey avoids a seated senton and hits a low dropkick, only to be launched upside down into the corner. We take a break and come back with Harper Gator Rolling Jey into a chinlock.

Back to Rowan for a backbreaker as the announcers debate if the Wyatts are related. Rowan tries a clothesline but walks into a quick enziguri to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Jimmy who scores with some clotheslines to Harper and a running forearm in the corner. A top rope clothesline sets up a Samoan drop and Harper is in trouble. He explodes out of the corner to clothesline Jey down but Jimmy makes the save. A double superkick gets two on Harper and Jimmy dives over the top to take out Rowan. Jey loads up a dive of his own but walks into the discus lariat from Harper for the pin at 7:53 shown of 11:23.

Rating: B-. I really liked this as it was your basic power vs. speed match but well done. The Usos are rapidly becoming the Kofi Kingstons of the tag division. You can have them lose as many times as you want but their matches and gimmick are solid enough that they never lose their heat. The Wyatts looked good as well with Rowan being fine in the generic monster roll.

Post match the Wyatts circle the Usos for the beatdown and the monsters are just too much. Bray comes in as well and destroys Jimmy, shouting that no one judges him. He says at Survivor Series, they’ll show the world how to leave a scar and teach their victims to never forget tragedy.

We go back to Raw where Heyman ranted about how stupid Ryback was and blamed him for the beating at HIAC.

Axel and Ryback are in the back with the monster saying he has no intention of being in a team with a Paul Heyman guy. If Axel is still sucking up to Heyman, not only is he teaming up with Axel but he also has a big problem with him. Axel says he isn’t a Heyman guy anymore but tonight he needs Ryback.

R-Truth practices his rapping when the Prime Time Players come in to rap with him and practice the Millions of Dollars dance. Ok then.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

Tamina cost Natalya her Divas Title match on Main Event to set this up. Natalya charges her into the corner to start but walks into a boot in the corner. A powerslam puts Tamina down but AJ gets on the apron for a distraction. Tamina runs into her boss though and the Sharpshooter gets the submission for Natalya at 1:20.

We look at Orton being chokeslammed through the table on Raw.

The GM’s are in the back with Brad playing Exposition Man to recap the events from Monday. Vickie tries to explain the power structure which is made even more confusing when their authority is all secondary to the Authority.

Prime Time Players/R-Truth vs. Union Jacks

The Jacks are 3MB and described by JBL as Austin Powers crossed with the Mean Street Posse. Titus and Mahal get things going as Cole calls Jinder a “Jack-ette”. Titus throws Mahal around but Drew makes a blind tag and kicks O’Neal down. Back to Mahal with a jumping knee to the face for two before it’s off to Slater for some forearms to the back. We hit the chinlock until Titus fights up and runs Slater over, allowing for the hot tag to Truth. Cole: “Truth getting jiggy with it!” Everything breaks down and Little Jimmy gets the pin on Slater at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Apparently this was a rematch from Main Event where the Band won. Not that it matters much but at least we had a reason for the match to exist. This was another match where the fans got to have some fun with the rapping and dancing and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Post match the winners dance in Union Jack flags.

Time for some arm wrestling! Alberto has challenged Cena to one of the all time stupid contests which has gone the same way every time in wrestling history. Cena agrees to the challenge and says let’s do it while turning his hat around backwards. A guy in a Superman outfit approves so we’re ready to go. Cena, with the good right arm, wins in about half a second. Del Rio wants a rematch and loses just as fast. Alberto punches Cena while the hands are still locked and puts Cena through the table. What a waste of time this was.

Funkadactyls vs. Bella Twins

Cameron elbows Nikki down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam (surprising pop for that) for two. Cameron gets up two feet in the corner and gets two off a middle rope cross body. Off to Naomi who pounds on Nikki until she tags out to Brie. Not that it matters much as the Rear View is enough pin pin Brie at 2:34. I’m almost positive that Chimmel called the winners the “Funky Jiggles.” I went back and listened to it twice and it was definitely two words. Might have been a rib of some kind.

Daniel Bryan and CM Punk are with Renee Young in the back and answer every question with YES. Bryan refers to the team as the Beard and the Best which Punk says Bray will hate. Punk says they’re going through the Family at Survivor Series then cutting off the snake’s head.

Great Khali vs. Hunico/Camacho

Hunico still has a job??? Camacho gets clotheslined down to start and there’s the loud chop in the corner. Hunico comes in as well and gets destroyed with ease before the Punjabi Plunge ends Hunico at 1:15. Complete squash.

The Raw ReBound recaps the opening segment with Orton going through the table.

Daniel Bryan/CM Punk vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Axel and Punk get us going and Cole sums up Axel’s title reign in a single statement: “Axel’s victory over Dolph Ziggler on Raw was a career changer.” The Intercontinental Champion’s career was defined by beating a jobber to the stars clean in a meaningless, non-title match on Raw. Let that sink in for a minute and it sums up the state of the midcard and a lot of WWE as a whole.

Axel grabs a headlock to get things going but gets sent into the ropes for a hard knee to the ribs. Off to Bryan who cranks on the arm but Ryback gets the tag and takes Bryan into the corner. Bryan catches him with a drop toehold into the middle buckle and the good guys double dropkick Ryback down for less than a one count. A slam puts Punk back down though and it’s off to Curtis for a two count.

We hit the chinlock until Punk suplexes his way out and hits the running knee in the corner. Ryback pulls Axel to the floor before Punk can launch a Macho Elbow. Instead the good guys hit stereo suicide dives/FLYING GOATS to take them both down. We take a break and come back with Axel charging into Punk’s boot in the corner. Ryback comes in again with a delayed vertical suplex and a legdrop for two. Back to Axel who gets caught in a small package for two but cranks on an armbar before the hot tag can go through.

Punk is dragged back to the heel corner and pounded down but he comes out with the swinging neckbreaker, allowing for the hot tag off to Bryan. Things speed up with Ryback being taken down by the running clothesline. Bryan goes after Ryback’s leg and fires off the kicks to the chest. The big kick to the head gets two as Axel saves, only to be taken down to the floor by Punk. There’s the YES Lock on Ryback and we lose the lights. We’ll say that ends the match at 9:40 shown of 13:10.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending was pretty obvious given that Smackdown is just a blue version of Raw anymore. Axel continues to be decent in the ring but there’s no way to buy him as a threat to anyone given how many times Punk beat him. Ryback would be fine if he was allowed to be himself and win some matches for a change. Punk/Bryan vs. the Wyatts should be good, but Punk and Bryan don’t have as much chemistry as you would expect.

The lights come back on but Bryan and Punk are nowhere to be seen. The Wyatts look around but it’s just an out cold Ryback and Axel left in the ring with the monsters. Ryback gets up and shoves Axel into Harper, earning the Intercontinental Champion a beatdown. Even when he doesn’t job he gets beaten down. Ryback gets back up and tries to save his partner but two power guys are better than one, leading to another beatdown. With Bray stomping on the former Heyman guys, Punk and Bryan sneak out from under the ring and gets in some cheap shots before running to the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t great but it was far less painful than some of the stuff we had to sit through on Monday. That being said, we still barely have anything new for the PPV as the tag match had been announced earlier in the week. As usual, the show wasn’t necessary viewing but it isn’t the worst use of two hours. At least we didn’t have to waste a bunch of time on recaps this time, which is a major step up from Raw.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jimmy

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Sharpshooter

Prime Time Players/R-Truth b. Union Jacks – Little Jimmy to Slater

Funkadactyls b. Bella Twins – Rear View to Brie

Great Khali b. Hunico/Camacho – Punjabi Plunge to Hunico

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel went to a no contest when the Wyatt Family interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2012
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’ve got a good bit going on tonight, with the main thing being that Jerry Lawler is back from his very real heart attack. On top of that we’ve got the Ryback vs. Brad Maddox challenge match where if Maddox wins he gets a million dollar contract. Finally it’s the go home Raw for Survivor Series which is always interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual VETERANS ARE AWESOME video, narrated by Cena of course. Can’t complain much about this.

They do the stupid voiceover stuff here, this time about Lawler coming back for the first time tonight. This immediately transitions into a video on Cena/AJ/Vickie. You know, because a fake affair between two people who are single in both real life and in storyline is the same as a man nearly dying.

Cena vs. Punk tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

For some annoying reason, we hear about the rivalry between Del Rio and Orton. There is NO reason for that feud to exist anymore. Period. None. Think about it: why should I as a fan care about any of the matches between them if there’s seemingly no blowoff anywhere in sight? This is part of Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley. Have Foley and Ziggler ever even spoken to each other on television? If so has it been in the last year?

Feeling out process to start with Orton taking over by throwing Dolph into the air. A slingshot suplex gets two for the Viper but he misses a charge and gets dropkicked down for two. JR talks about how Orton was the sole survivor in 2004 and 2005 and made his name in Survivor Series matches. He was the sole survivor in 2003 as well so he really started making his name there but who’s counting?

Off to a chinlock but Orton easily suplexes out of it and hits his clotheslines. There’s the Elevated DDT and here’s Del Rio for a distraction. Orton knocks Alberto to the floor and counters the Zig Zag into a rollup for the pin at 3:16. I know they want to make him the new Austin but isn’t that quite a stretch?

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that I can’t stand rating due to how short it is. I usually only rate matches that run three minutes or more, so this barely qualifies as a ratable match. It’s your standard preview for the Survivor Series match, which means it’s not that good. Ziggler has to lose again of course though.

Post match Orton gets triple teamed until Kofi makes the save. This brings out Teddy Long who makes a tag match. Since Vickie is busy with AJ, Teddy grants himself power because it’s a Super Show. Is it even called that anymore?

Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

Dolph and Kofi start things off of course, which is probably the right idea given how good they are together. Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down and we take a break. Back with Alberto hammering away on Kofi before it’s back to Ziggler. Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down again and it’s off to the handstand chinlock. That stays on for a minute or so before Kofi fights out of it and makes the hot tag to Randy who gets to fight Del Rio. Everything breaks down and things start getting good. SOS gets two on Del Rio and Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise, but a Ricardo distraction lets Del Rio kick Kofi in the head for the pin at 4:37 shown of 8:07.

Rating: C. Better match than the first one, but did they really have to do THE EXACT SAME FINISH in the span of ten minutes? Are they that creatively bankrupt that they can’t come up with anything else? This was nothing of note until the end where things sped up, but most of the match was in the commercial so what is there for me to grade anyway?

Orton stares at Del Rio because there’s no end to this feud in sight because that’s how WWE works anymore.

Post break here’s Vickie with Ziggler, who is now in his THIRD STRAIGHT SEGMENT. Sweet goodness people you have three hours of Raw a week and THIS is how you use it? I like Ziggler but this is like Jerry Lawler on Memphis TV. He talks about the AJ scandal and we recap the pictures and video from the last few weeks. Vickie says that AJ has said that if they’re every in the same ring, the beating will be awesome.

Vickie calls out AJ and cuts her off, demanding an admission of guilt. AJ says she didn’t do it and GET THE HECK ON WITH IT. This goes on forever with Vickie saying that AJ has to admit the affair or something bad will happen and I zone out. AJ says she admits….that they’re just friends. OH SCREW THIS STORY.

I mean seriously, WHAT is this leading to? Vickie vs. AJ? That’s the payoff of this? Cena and Ziggler aren’t even fighting anymore and who cares? AJ says this is about Vickie getting passed over for the GM job at Raw 1000 and how AJ has abused her twice in the ring. AJ says that Vickie is throwing her weight around and we get a fat joke. Vickie has voicemails that may or may not have been doctored and this story just keeps going. One voicemail is just AJ talking to John, whoever that is.

A second talks about AJ and someone needing to stop this but again no name is given. AJ looks concerned after the third one, saying Vickie hacked into Cena’s phone and edited those together. AJ is about to yell when Ziggler cuts her off. Cena finally comes out and beats up Ziggler. Again, if that was the match on Sunday, this would be more acceptable. Still bad, but acceptable. Unfortunately, this ISN’T the match on Sunday and therefore is a BIG FREAKING WASTE OF TIME. This segment was nearly FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUTES LONG.

Cole and JR talk about the veterans a bit and we get a video about them.

Post break it’s MORE CENA AND AJ! They’re in the back and AJ is freaking out. Cena says that there’s nothing going on and not to worry about it. AJ implies that something might happen and Cena blushes a bit. They leave awkwardly as the crowd says ooooo.

We recap the pub fight from last week on Smackdown.

William Regal vs. Big Show

See, this is something where they could mix it up. Make this a world title match. Does it mean much? Not really, but would it hurt anything? Show is supposed to be all dominant so why not give the fans a chance to buy something could happen? It’s not going to hurt a thing but it could make things a tiny bit more interesting. Show pounds away on Regal but Regal keeps that psycho look on his face. A left hand has no effect on Show but Show misses an elbow drop. Regal goes off on Show but it’s a chokeslam for the pin at 1:40. Again, why not make that a title match to give people a reason to watch?

Post match Show loads up the WMD but Sheamus makes the save. Sheamus stomps and pounds on Show so the champion runs.

Kaitlyn vs. Layla

The winner gets the shot at Eve on Sunday who is on commentary. It’s one of those worthless forty five second matches (literally) with Kaitlyn countering a cross body out of the corner into a reverse DDT for the pin and the shot at Eve. And people wonder why no one cares about the Divas.

We get a video from two months ago where Lawler had his heart attack, including audio from the paramedics and backstage footage. Classy people those WWE bosses. I know Lawler is cool with it, but seriously, showing footage of a man almost DYING? Doing an angle in the ring is one thing, but that’s a bit much no?

Cole and JR are in the ring and here’s the return of Jerry Lawler. This is a really cool moment with the fans and announcers legitimately having emotion for someone coming back. Even Cole hugs Jerry which is a pretty big moment. Lawler isn’t sure what to say but he can’t believe he’s really back here. Jerry talks about the movie It’s A Wonderful Life, which is about a man who didn’t know how good he had it until he almost lost it. He thanks the fans for their prayers….and here are Punk and Heyman.

Jerry immediately gets out of the ring and Punk says that he’s glad Jerry got out of the ring, because he would have beaten Lawler to death….again. It’s ok to boo Punk but you can’t get Lawler involved right? Punk talks about how Lawler wants to relive his glory days and fight him but that’s in bad taste too right? Apparently one of the side effects is having a heart attack, and shame on all the people for blaming Punk for the heart attack. It’s all Lawler’s fault apparently because apparently Jerry couldn’t let it go.

Punk is tired of hearing about the number of minutes Punk was dead, but the real number is 358, which is the amount of days he’s been champion. He’s now past Diesel on the all time list, but once he gets past Cena, he’s pretty much done unless he has the title another three years. Punk tells Lawler not to die before the PPV, so Lawler says that Punk’s reign as champion is on life support.

Now we get to the controversial part of the show: Heyman fakes a heart attack. Punk throws up the X and performs CPR and Heyman is fine. It’s time for a little lesson from KB: those of you that were offended by this need to go watch Care Bears because it’s more at your maturity level. This is EXACTLY what people have been wanting for years: more mature storylines. These kind of things would have been tame back in the old days and if you believe Lawler wasn’t giving this the ok the whole time, you’re an idiot.

Punk played on the crowd’s emotions and the people hate him even more now. That’s called working the fans which you NEVER get anymore, and that’s because everyone is afraid of being offended. Was this evil by Punk? Of course it was. Was this playing on peoples’ emotions? Of course it was. Was this a good idea? Of course it was. I mean, it’s almost like Punk is a villain and he’s offended the fans. If only there were people that could avenge Punk by taking away the thing he loves most, say in a triple threat match. At Survivor Series. Available on Pay Per View.

Then, the fans that are glad to see Punk lose could say to their mom: “THAT WAS SO COOL! John Cena beat Punk for the Championship! Can I have a John Cena shirt? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?” It’s almost like it’s SMART BUSINESS. But hey, people might be offended so we should just carry on talking while people ask for more actions which will wind up offending them, because if there’s one thing wrestling fans know, it’s what they want.

Anyway this brings out Mick Foley, as in the guy that Punk STILL isn’t fighting at Survivor Series, but we need to push this story anyway because the idea of changing things on the fly is WAY too freaking complicated for this batch of writers. Foley yells about Punk and Heyman disrespecting the business. Punk: “Take it easy. This man just had a heart attack!” Foley says we’ll get to vote on the final member of the team tonight so Punk makes fun of him.

Foley goes on a BIG rant about how Lawler was dead but he’s back today. Let’s summarize this quickly. Foley: “You have no respect.” Punk: “I don’t just off roofs.” That takes a few minutes before we’re told that Foley is the enforcer for the main event tonight, because that changes SO much. Oh and don’t bother saying Cena’s name here. Innocent people might have kept watching!

Post match Punk rants to Heyman about how everything is falling apart. Heyman says we’re out of options and Punk says to fix it.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. Prime Time Players/Primo/Epico

Lawler is back on commentary officially. It’s Titus vs. Justin to start with O’Neal taking over. There’s the suplex drop with Young landing on Gabriel for two. Off to Epico for a chinlock and here’s Ricardo Rodriguez to give Rosa Mendes a note. She seems excited about what it said as Rey comes in to beat up Primo. A powerbomb by Primo is countered into a rana into the 619 position but Primo rolls to the floor. Rey hits a gorgeous Asai Moonsault as we take a break.

Back with Titus beating on Mysterio on the floor. They head back in for Titus to hit the Nikolai Volkoff gorilla press backbreaker for two. We hit the bearhug for a bit before it’s off to Primo. Rey kicks Primo in the head to put him down but Young gets the tag before Rey can. Scratch that as Kidd gets the tag and things speed up. Kidd kicks Darren in the head and hits a Blockbuster as everything breaks down. Things speed up so fast that I can’t type it all. It’s down to Kidd vs. Young with Tyson countering the Gutbuster into a 619 from Rey followed by the 450 from Gabriel for the pin at 6:31 shown of 10:31.

Rating: C+. This started slow but once Kidd hit the Blockbuster it went INSANE fast. That’s the kind of things WWE should be doing: fast paced tag matches with the guys that are capable of having fast paced tag matches. Start the show with THIS instead of the long and dull matches you did and things get off on a much better foot.

The WWE still loves the troops!

Brad Maddox is in the back when Heyman comes in. He asks the camera to be shut off and the two of them go for a walk.

Miz is in the back on the phone when Ziggler comes in. Dolph says it’s only a matter of time before Miz comes crawling back to the team and they get in an argument. Foley comes up and a tag match between the Rhodes Scholars and Kane/whoever wins the poll is made. Foley says Amy Schmumer, Dolph’s real life ex-girlfriend who broke up with Dolph for being too athletic in bed, says hello. Ziggler leaves and Miz asks to be on the Foley ballot. We have a face turn ladies and gentlemen.

The full ballot: Santino, Ryder, Miz. And WWE has the nerve to complain when we say these polls are dumb.

R-Truth vs. Tensai

Cesaro comes out for commentary as he defends against Truth on Sunday. He makes fun of America for being a joke like Little Jimmy which hasn’t been funny in months. This is joined in progress after a break with Truth fighting out of a chinlock. Tensai fires off some chops to the neck for two and it’s off to an armbar. Truth makes a comeback, hits a dropkick and the ax kick to set up Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:14. This was nothing and I have zero desire to see Cesaro vs. Truth whatsoever.

Post match Cesaro yells at Truth so Truth says knock knock. Apparently Europe in my face is there and on Sunday, Truth is going to knock Cesaro’s teeth into his esophagus.

We get a clip of Ryback vs. Maddox in WWE 13.

Ad for the NWO DVD which doesn’t look that bad. Pay no attention to the clips that are used directly from Monday Night Wars.

We recap Maddox’s explanation and Vince’s announcement last week.

We recap the show so far. Why in the world would ANYONE want to see this again? I mean they just AIR THE SEGMENTS ALL OVER AGAIN. Dear goodness almighty what is wrong with this company anymore?

Brad Maddox vs. Ryback

If Maddox wins, he gets a million dollar contract. There’s an ambulance waiting for Maddox. Lawler: “Hey my ride’s here.” What are you expecting from this match? Maddox tries to run, Ryback rams Brad’s head into the mat about ten times, tells Maddox that he’s dead, powerslams him down, Meat Hooks Maddox to the floor, hits three HARD powerbombs and Shell Shocks him for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: N/A. I’m not going to bother rating this one as it was a LONG squash. At the end of the day, there was nothing interesting or surprising here and this is basically the ending of the storyline from HIAC. Why anyone wanted to see this is beyond me, but then again the entire show has been worthless so far.

We’re STILL not done with this as Ryback destroys Maddox a bit more and puts him on the stretcher and against the ambulance.

David Otunga vs. Sheamus

Total squash AGAIN with White Noise and the Brogue Kick ending this in 2:20. Again, there’s juts NOTHING to talk about in these matches tonight.

Post match Sheamus says he’ll win the title back. We see Show on the screen beating up Regal in the back.

Bryan doesn’t like that Kane is having another partner tonight.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Kane/???

Miz wins in a completely not shocking landslide. This is joined in progress with Kane getting two off a suplex on Sandow. Off to Miz for a knee lift for the same and the corner clothesline keeps Sandow in trouble. Off to Kane vs. Cody with the Scholars continuing to be in trouble. Bryan pouting is hilarious stuff. Miz backdrops Cody to the floor and hits an ax handle off the apron before glaring at Bryan.

The distraction lets Cody hit the Disaster Kick and it’s off to Damien again. Wind-Up Elbow gets two and it’s chinlock time. That goes nowhere so Miz fights up and hits the Reality Check. Hot tag brings in Kane and a side slam gets two for Kane. Bryan and Miz get in a near argument and Cody gets chokeslammed for the pin at 5:39 shown.

Rating: C. This was just a regular tag match which went nowhere. Miz turning face is fine but at the end of the day, he’ll win a few matches then lose a few and no one will be any better off, because that’s how WWE works anymore. I guess we’re passing on the idea of the Scholars being champions anymore as they’ve lost time and time again. Actually scratch that as it means they’ll win soon I’m sure. Oh and of course the guy who is the big surprise turn doesn’t get to be in on the fall or anything like that.

More stuff about the troops. Tribute to the Troops is coming to Norfolk.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Non-title of course. Feeling out process to start with Cena cranking on the arm. Foley is guest enforcer and glares at Punk on the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena on top but falling out to the floor with Punk. Back in and a neckbreaker from Punk is countered into a backslide by Cena for two. Off to a chinlock by CM which is shifted into a sleeper. Cena starts his comeback but gets rolled up when he tries the Shuffle. A neckbreaker puts Cena down but the Macho Elbow misses.

There’s the Shuffle again but Punk rolls away. The AA is countered and some kicks get two for the champ. GTS and AA are both countered so Punk puts on a Koji Clutch. Cena gets the rope and counters the springboard clothesline into the STF. Foley takes out Heyman as the High Kick gets two for CM. The GTS is countered again into the STF but Punk makes the ropes again. The champ heads up the ramp but Ryback is waiting on him. Back in and the AA gets the pin at 10:30 shown of 14:00.

Rating: B-. It’s Cena vs. Punk with more than five minutes. Were you expecting anything bad? They’re making it seem like Punk has no chance in the triple threat, which is a pretty clear indicator that he’s going to retain the belt so he can lose the title to Rock at the Rumble, because WWE actually thinks we’ll buy Punk as having a chance.

Ryback and Cena both grab the title post match while Punk looks like he’s about to cry in the background.

Overall Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness Raw sucks anymore. There’s some stuff on here that’s worth checking out, but at the end of the day the first forty minutes are just SO FREAKING DULL that it kills anything good that could come out of the show later on. This PPV is so completely backwards and the show proves it. We sat through Foley vs. Punk and Cena vs. Ziggler here, but neither of those matches are happening on Sunday. They might have an idea where they want to wind up, but it’s clear they have no idea how they plan to get there.

Results

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton – Enziguri to Kingston

Big Show b. William Regal – Chokeslam

Kaitlyn b. Layla – Reverse DDT

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd b. Prime Time Players/Primo/Epico – 450 to Young

R-Truth b. Tensai – Little Jimmy

Ryback b. Brad Maddox – Shell Shock

Kane/Miz b. Rhodes Scholars – Chokeslam to Rhodes

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: November 8, 2013
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Back to the blue show tonight which might mean another Cena appearance. Last week’s show was definitely an upgrade over what they had been doing lately but it’s hard to say where things go from here. If there’s one thing WWE is notoriously bad at doing it’s keeping momentum going, with the third hour of this week’s Raw being a prime example. This show has to be better than the Orton vs. Big Show segment, which we’ll likely see five or more times tonight. Let’s get to it.

A video on the Wyatts cuts off the opening sequence. It’s a recap of the Family being creepy and targeting Punk and Bryan over the last week and a half.

Here’s Punk with something to say. He talks about how Best in the World can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. Apparently to the Wyatt Family it means the target of a three on one beatdown. No one has been brave enough to go ask the Wyatt Family why they’re coming after him, but tonight Punk is here to fight instead of talk. He’s been outnumbered before but he squashed the biggest rat in the WWE named Paul Heyman. Punk is going to be here all night long so come get him.

Instead Punk gets gets Curtis Axel who says Punk needs to shut his mouth. Axel doesn’t care about the Wyatts because they can wait in line. The two of them have some unfinished business because Punk got rid of Paul Heyman, so Vickie Guerrero has granted him a match with Punk right now.

CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel

In case you haven’t seen Punk beat him up enough yet. Axel stomps him down into the corner to start but charges into an elbow to the jaw. A top rope ax handle puts Curtis down again and a neckbreaker does the same. Punk kicks Axel in the leg to flip him upside down and they head to the floor. CM drapes him ribs first over the barricade and we take a break. Back with Punk fighting out of an armbar but not being able to hit the GTS. Axel bails to the floor and whips Punk into the barricade to take over.

Back inside and a backbreaker sets up a middle rope elbow for two on Punk. Axel charges into a boot and gets caught by a middle rope cross body for two but Curtis comes back with a clothesline for a near fall of his own. CM grabs a belly to back suplex and there’s another neckbreaker for two. The running knee to the face looks to set up the Macho Elbow but the Wyatts look to interrupt. There’s no sigh of them but Axel gets in a cheap shot and the PerfectPlex is good for two. Punk gets bored though and hits the GTS to end Axel for the pin at 8:22 shown of 11:52.

Rating: C-. Man, when the distraction trick can’t even get you a win, just give up. This is one of those pairings where there’s no point in watching because the ending is never in doubt. Axel’s status has just been crushed by this point and unfortunately for him, a lot of that isn’t his fault. There’s no reason to care about someone when they never win a match, which Axel barely ever does anymore.

Post match Bray pops up on screen but blows out the lantern without saying anything.

3MB vs. Usos/R-Truth

The good guys do a cool mix of their entrances with the Usos doing their chant and jumping to start the pyro which sets off R-Truth’s song. JBL: “Truth and I are like Lil Wayne and Eminem.” Cole: “You lip sync?” Slater gets chopped by both Usos but Mahal makes a blind tag and hits a running knee to Jimmy’s face for two. A knee drop gets another two and it’s back to Slater.

There’s a double slingshot suplex to set up a triple team spot from 3MB with McIntyre and Mahal lifting Jimmy up so Slater can hit a running neckbreaker. We get a chinlock instead of a cover though, allowing Jimmy to fight up and hit a spinning kick to the face. Mahal comes in but walks into a Bubba Bomb, allowing the hot tag to the hometown Truth. The Lie Detector gets two on Jinder and everything breaks down. The Usos hit the stereo dives, leaving Truth in the ring to hit Little Jimmy on Mahal for the pin at 3:58.

Rating: C+. That’s probably high but this was as fun of a short match as I’ve seen in a very long time. This was a basic formula tag match and it worked like a charm. You had one Uso get beaten down by some nice double team moves until the hometown guy came in to clean house. Throw in a nice spot with the double dives and the match gave the crowd something to cheer for. Fun stuff.

Funkadactyls vs. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee

On the way to the ring AJ “plugs” Total Divas before saying let’s focus on the actual wrestling. Our top heel in this division for whatever reason ladies and gentlemen. Tamina shoves Cameron down to start but the funky one comes back with a sloppy looking headlock takeover out of the corner. The Funkadactyls drop Tamina with a double dropkick before low bridging her out to the floor. Tamina pulls Naomi out to the floor and clotheslines her down to take over for the first time.

Off to AJ for a guillotine choke but Naomi fights out and hits a LOUD enziguri to put AJ down. The hot tag brings in Cameron who isn’t the girl you want to clean house. A cross body gets two on AJ but Cameron misses a charge into the corner. Back to Tamina who gets caught in a sitout bulldog for two. Cameron’s hurricanrana out of the corner is caught in a powerbomb for two as everything breaks down. Naomi drills AJ with a solid forearm but Tamina clotheslines her down even harder. AJ is all ticked off so she comes in and puts Cameron in the Black Widow for the submission at 4:32.

Rating: C+. ……what the heck was that??? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I liked this match quite a bit. All four of the girls looked good out there and played their rolls perfectly, but on top of that everyone was crisp and hitting their spots perfectly. Nothing looked stupid or heavily choreographed and the match was as good of a Divas match as I’ve seen in MONTHS.

Here’s Alberto Del Rio with something to say. Alberto talks about being a great Mexican athlete which makes him better than anyone else in the world, including all of the gringos here. His title was stolen from him by John Cena, who is only cheered because the fans are stupid. Cena is a thief, walking around with something he doesn’t deserve. The fans don’t know this but Del Rio went in to the Cell PPV sick and with a bad knee, elbow and neck. JBL: “That’s true.” He fought anyway because he had Mexican pride, and after the rematch, he’ll be able to say el campeon esta aqui (Spanish for “the champion is here)!

This brings out Cena who says he isn’t here to fight because Del Rio is sick. Therefore, we need to give him a gift. Maybe some Edible Arrangements (a good one, not the best one), a card that plays Cena’s theme song, and a card saying sorry for taking the world title, hope you feel better, make sure to watch the JBL and Cole Show.

Alberto wants Cena to be serious (Gorilla Del Rio?) and get out but Cena says make him, because the world champion is two feet away from him. Cena wants the rematch right now and Alberto says he’ll break Cena’s arm tonight. Vickie says not so fast and makes the match for Survivor Series. However, both guys will be in action tonight. It’s Cena vs. Ryback and Del Rio gets Great Khali, with the latter being right now.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Great Khali

Khali hits a forearm to the head to start before firing off elbows in the corner. A hard chop to the chest knocks Del Rio out of the ring and Khali sends him into the barricade for good measure. Del Rio kicks the ropes as they come back in to put Khali down, allowing Alberto to stomp away. Alberto cranks on the arm but Khali fights up and kicks Del Rio out of the air. More loud chops in the corner have Alberto in trouble but he grabs an armbreaker over the ropes to stop Khali in his tracks. Khali shoves him out to the floor but gets caught by the enziguri in the corner. The cross armbreaker gets the submission at 5:10.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible, but it’s the same problem that so many people in WWE have: no one believes Khali is going to win, no matter how much he dominates Del Rio throughout the match. It gives me no reason to get interested in the match, as the action is nothing special and the ending is already a given. Why should I care under those circumstances?

Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Bryan has a taped up shoulder coming in but goes right after Harper before the bell. Harper pounds him down into the corner and goes after the bad shoulder to take Daniel down. There’s the Gator Roll to keep Bryan on the ground but he’s still able to send Harper to the floor. The FLYING GOAT connects but Bryan’s bad shoulder lands on the barricade. Harper gets up first and sends Bryan shoulder first into the barricade again as we take a break.

Back with Harper firing off elbows in the corner and throws him across the ring with ease. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Dr. Phil for no apparent reason. Bryan tries to fight up but a single shout to the shoulder puts him back into the corner. Some kicks to the leg have Harper staggered a bit and there’s a dragon screw leg whip to put him down.

Bryan ties up Harper’s legs in a hold before driving in hard shots to the face, firing up the crowd in the process. Harper gets up a right hand in the corner to knock Bryan backwards, but Bryan backflips over him in the corner and hits the running clothesline. The kick kick to the head is countered into a sitout powerbomb but Bryan gets up at two. Bryan counters the discus lariat into the YES Lock but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 6:30 shown of 10:00.

Rating: B-. They’re sticking to formulas tonight and they’re working incredibly well so far. This was a good example of power vs. speed/technical abilities and Harper looked AWESOME in there. Bryan bounced all over like a pinball and the ending keeps both guys looking good. Solid effort out there, which is the point of having Bryan and Punk feud with these guys.

The beatdown is on but as Bray gets into the ring, Punk comes out for the save.

We go back to Raw to recap that infernal closing segment. Good grief we get it already: Big Show vs. Orton is awesome and we’ll praise its name forever. Just don’t make me sit through this anymore.

The weekly sitdown interview with HHH says Kane is the new Director of Operations, because if there’s one more thing WWE needs, it’s ANOTHER person with authority. The powers are yet to be revealed, but Kane has been tweeting about vigilance, which HHH translates as Kane being more than one dimensional.

John Cena vs. Ryback

Non-title. Cena comes out, goes to the back, and comes out again because the first pop wasn’t loud enough. Ryback grabs a headlock to start before running Cena over with a shoulder block. Back to the headlock but Cena counters into one of his own. Not the most exciting opening two minutes to a match. Cena fires off right hands in the corner but Ryback easily throws him off to block a bulldog.

In a very impressive power display, Ryback gorilla presses Cena over his head for probably fifteen seconds before dropping the champion down onto his face. Cena avoids a charge to send Ryback into the post as we take a break. Back with Cena countering a Boston Crab into an STF attempt but Ryback kicks him away. Ryback chokes Cena with his boot before whipping him hard across the ring for two.

Off to a front facelock by Ryback which is quickly switched into a bearhug. Cena fights free and shoulders Ryback down but Ryback counters the Shuffle into a spinebuster. Shell Shock is countered into a DDT to put both guys down but it’s Cena up first. The AA is countered and Ryback’s Jackhammer (called a suplex by Cole) gets two. Ryback charges with the Meat Hook but gets taken down into the STF. He gets to the rope in a nice false finish and hits Cena with a weak spear for two.

The Shell Shock is countered again and Cena grabs a full nelson, only to lift him up and pull Cena down into a neckbreaker for a close two. A high cross body puts Ryback down but he comes right back with a powerslam (Cole: “Shades of the Bulldog!” He references the British Bulldog but can’t remember what the Jackhammer?) for two. They slug it out in the middle of the ring but Ryback scores with the Meat Hook. The Shell Shock is countered again and this time it’s the AA for the pin on Ryback at 11:55 shown of 15:25.

Rating: B. There’s something awesome about letting two power guys beat the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes. The counters in this were getting very good by the end and Cena was busting out some great stuff out there. Ryback looked like he had Cena if he could hit that one big move but Cena kept countering in a nice story. This was a good contrast to Khali vs. Del Rio: Ryback was clearly going to lose, but here the match was hard hitting an entertaining to make up for that. Really solid main event here.

Post match Del Rio comes in to pound away on the arm. After a few moments of that, he actually goes after the bad arm by wrapping it around the post. Cena comes back with some right hands and Del Rio runs to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. If we didn’t have that ridiculous ten minute long recap from Raw (which thankfully was cut to highlights on the American version), this was one of the best Smackdowns in months. The worst match was just five minutes long and the second worst was far from horrible, leaving us with good to very good matches to fill in the rest of the show. Really fun two hours of wrestling here with nothing new being stupid. Good stuff.

Results

CM Punk b. Curtis Axel – GTS

Usos/R-Truth b. 3MB – Little Jimmy to Mahal

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka b. Funkadactyls – Black Widow to Cameron

Alberto Del Rio b. Great Khali – Cross armbreaker

Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

John Cena b. Ryback – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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With someone you wouldn’t have guessed.The Wyatts laid out Bryan in the back tonight.  I like the potential of this a lot.

Hell in a Cell 2013
Date: October 27, 2013
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally to the end of this PPV cycle as tonight is basically Battlefield Part II which doesn’t exactly sound like the most interesting thing in the world. The biggest idea tonight is we get to have a WWE Champion after all these weeks of the title being held up. The two Cell matches will see Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton for the vacant title and Paul Heyman/Ryback vs. CM Punk in hopefully the final blowoff to the Punk vs. Heyman feud. Oh and Cena is back too. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

This is a replacement match after Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston for the Intercontinental Title was canceled earlier today due to Axel being injured. Sandow talks about being Mr. Money in the Bank and how Cena is coming to take Sandow’s future crown. The Spanish commentary is bleeding in over his promo. Sandow pounds him down into the corner to start as the Spanish commentary can still be heard. Kofi comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a jumping back elbow for two.

Damien is sent to the floor as we’re told about Langston getting a US Title shot against Dean Ambrose tonight to make up for losing the Intercontinental Title shot. Sandow rams him into the apron and takes Kofi back inside to pound away as we take a break. Back with Damien getting two off the Wind-Up elbow and putting on an abdominal stretch. Kofi counters into one of his own but Damien hiptosses his way to freedom.

Kingston avoids a charge in the corner and fires off some chops to take over. The Boom Drop connects but Trouble in Paradise misses. A top rope cross body gets two on Sandow as apparently Rey Mysterio is on Spanish commentary. Kofi gets two more off a slingshot dropkick and a slingshot splash but Damien grabs a full nelson slam, apparently called You’re Welcome, for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special but thank goodness Sandow actually has a decent finisher for a change. That neckbreaker wasn’t taking him anywhere and a full nelson slam is as good as anything else he could use. Also it’s nice to see him get a clean win for a change instead of losing for months on end.

As expected, the opening video is about how the Cell changes you and no one is ever the same after they step foot in it again. We also get some brief clips about the major feuds tonight.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Usos vs. Shield

This would be Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns for the Shield and Cody and Goldust coming in with the titles. They beat Shield a few weeks back on Raw but the Usos were #1 contenders, so a triple threat solves everything at once. Goldust vs. Rollins gets us going with Seth being clotheslined down. It’s quickly off to Jimmy to face Goldust with a deep breath confusing the Samoan. Off to Cody to work on Jimmy’s arm and take him down with a release gordbuster for two.

Jimmy makes a blind tag to Jey who comes in with a quick rollup for two of his own, earning him a golf clap from Cody. Rhodes grabs a single leg and takes Jey into the corner for a tag off to Goldust but a quick double team by the Usos has Goldie in trouble. Roman Reigns tags himself in and pulls the legal Goldust out to the floor before taking him down with a jumping clothesline for two back inside. Back to Rollins who pounds away from the floor and hooks a front facelock.

Roman comes back in for a chinlock as the fans wake up for the first time in the match. Goldust fights up and gets a quick two off a backslide but Reigns elbows him down for the same. Goldust dives for the ropes but another elbow stops him for another two count and it’s back to Rollins who knocks Rhodes off the apron. A backdrop puts Seth down but there’s no one for Goldust to tag. He tries the Usos but Seth decks them as well, allowing Reigns to hit a release belly to back suplex for two as Cody makes a last second save. Nice sequence there.

Roman spends a bit too much time talking trash and gets caught in a quick powerslam from Goldust, allowing for the hot tag off to Cody. A missile dropkick puts Reigns down and a sunset flip gets two on Rollins. The moonsault press gets the same and Cody is all fired up. A Disaster Kick puts Rollins on the floor but Jimmy Uso makes another blind tag to go after Seth. Everything breaks down and Jey hits a HUGE die to take out Goldust and Roman.

Jimmy gets a VERY close two off a Samoan drop to Seth but Rollins sends Jimmy to the floor. Cody is back in now and they head up top, with Cody superplexing Seth onto everyone not named Jimmy Uso. That was AWESOME. Jimmy and Rollins head back in but it’s Roman with a big spear to take Jimmy down. Rollins hits the top rope knee to take out Goldust but Cody’s Disaster Kick is caught in a powerbomb, only to have Goldust make the save before Seth can drop him. A quick (and sweet looking) Cross Rhodes to Seth retains the titles at 14:40.

Rating: B. THAT’S HOW YOU START A SHOW! I get tired of seeing opening matches not do anything to fire up the crowd but when you take six talented guys and let them tear the house down like this, they’ve earned the THIS IS AWESOME chants they were getting. Perfect choice for the opener here and I can’t say I disagree with the result.

HHH and Shawn have a chat in the back.

Here’s a very sore Miz with something to say. He talks about how he was chained up and had the word “liar” written on his chest on Smackdown so he isn’t cleared to wrestle tonight. However he’s cleared to fight, so Bray needs to get out of his Cracker Barrel rocking chair and come get him. Bray pops up on the screen and says what sounds like a lullaby.

He says it pains him to see Hollywood (meaning Miz) like this, with nothing to lose. Miz’s words mean less than salt to Bray because Miz can’t see the monster behind Wyatt’s eyes. The lights go out and come back with the Family in the ring to beat Miz down. The fans chant for Kane…..and here he is! Kane clears the ring and chokeslams a grateful Miz because that’s how Kane rolls.

Summer Rae/Fandango vs. Natalya/Great Khali

This is a bonus match which was actually set up on Smackdown when the girls got in a fight to end a match between the guys. Before the match Fandango says he’s the true master of salsa dancing and we get a quick demonstration. The guys get us going with Fandango’s kick to the ribs being caught and the dancer being tossed down. Off to the girls with Summer getting two off a quick rollup and scoring with a nice dropkick.

Natalya easily takes her down and grabs an armbar but it’s quickly back to Fandango. That’s cool with Nattie though as she sweeps the legs to load up the Sharpshooter but Fandango bails to the floor. Khali easily pulls him back in, only to have his knee dropkicked out. Fandango stops to flirt with Natalya even more, allowing Khali to get back up and chop the skin off his chest. Back to the girls with Summer bailing to the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter before grabbing a rollup to pin Natalya out of nowhere at 4:50.

Rating: D+. Summer wasn’t bad out there and certainly didn’t embarrass herself. Imagine that: having girls in NXT actually wrestle instead of have danceoffs and swimsuit contests makes them better in the ring. It’s a bonus match too so it’s hard to complain when the match isn’t too bad.

Tonight’s expert panel of Kaitlyn, R-Truth and Ziggler don’t have much to add.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Big E. Langston

As mentioned this is a replacement match for Langston after Axel was injured. Langston quickly runs Ambrose over for two before sending the champion into the corner for a running shoulder to the ribs. A backbreaker puts Dean down and we hit the bearhug by the power guy. Dean pokes the eyes to escape, sending Langston into the corner. Big E. easily backdrops Ambrose to the floor, possibly hurting the champion’s knee. Dean pokes him in the eye again to take over but his suplex attempt is easily blocked.

Instead he drapes Big E’s arm over the top and cranks away on it a bit before climbing the ropes and driving his knee into Langston’s face. The dropkick against the ropes gets two for Dean and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Langston fights up and hits a pair of clotheslines for two each, only to miss the Ultimate Warrior splash. Instead it’s a belly to belly for two on Ambrose and now the splash connects for the same.

Ambrose bails to the floor and tries to walk away, only to be caught with ease and dragged back to the ring. Back in and Dean hits a quick DDT for two and Big E. might be cut under the eye. Not that it matters though as he spears Dean through the ropes and back to the floor ala Edge to Foley at Wrestlemania 21. Dean doesn’t make it back in and loses via countout at 8:53.

Rating: C. I was liking the match until the ending, but there really wasn’t anything else they could do with this. Ambrose doesn’t seem ready to drop the title, so having Langston win without getting the title is the best way they could get out of this one. Langston definitely held his own out there and that’s a good sign. Rematch will be imminent I’m sure.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Ryback/Heyman vs. Punk. It was originally Punk vs. Ryback but Punk wanted Heyman and won a Beat the Clock challenge, earning him the right to pick the stipulation. His idea: a handicap match inside the Cell.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

And there’s no Heyman. Ryback gets in the Cell before pointing towards the entrance where Heyman rides out on a cart. It’s actually a lift which takes Paul up to the top of the Cell with Heyman talking about how he’s risen from the depths and ascended to the top of the world. The fans are all over Paul as Punk pounds away on Ryback and knocks him out to the floor. Now the fans chant for CM after he hits a suicide dive to send Ryback into the Cell wall. It’s kendo stick time but Ryback drives Punk’s spine into the steel to stop him.

Ryback blasts Punk with the stick and takes him back inside to beat Punk down even more. Punk’s back is targeted with a reverse waistlock before Punk fights free and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. A forearm off the top puts Ryback down again and it’s table time. Punk can’t get it set up though and Ryback suplexes him back first into the Cell wall. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two more as we hit the reverse waistlock again. Punk fights out again and hits a spinning cross body for two followed by the running knee in the corner.

Some kendo stick shots drop the big man and there’s the Macho Elbow for two. More stick shots keep Ryback down and now the table is set up in the ring. It falls onto its side though, allowing Ryback to crotch Punk on the side. The Meat Hook is good for two but Punk hits him low to block the Shell Shock. Ryback lays on the table for no apparent reason, allowing Punk to drop another Macho Elbow for no cover. Instead a cane to Ryback’s head sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. If this had been a regular match it would have been fine, but it was inside the Cell which means it has a higher standard. Putting Heyman out of the match was probably the best idea, but there really wasn’t much to this that made me care. Punk beating Ryback in a hardcore match is nothing special, but it certainly wasn’t a terrible match. The Cell was a prop here though, which is what I hate about this show.

Post match Punk climbs up after Heyman while carrying the kendo stick. The beating begins and Punk wears him out before hitting the GTS to end the feud. Not exactly a huge spot but it’s as good as we’re going to get I guess.

Breast cancer is bad.

Daniel Bryan says all he’s wanted was a chance and hopefully Shawn Michaels will give him that. It was the night after Wrestlemania 28 in this very arena where the YES chants began so Bryan starts one for old times’ sake.

The announcers talk while Heyman is taken down and the Cell is raised.

Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

The Matadores are in blue tonight and Torito is now black, sending JBL into a conspiracy filled frenzy. Cesaro sends Diego into the corner to start but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. Diego is sent outside and it’s off to Swagger who takes out his leg to gain control. The announcers debate masked men who are heroes as Cesaro puts on a front facelock. A backdrop puts an invading Swagger on the floor but Cesaro kicks Fernando off the apron to prevent a tag.

There’s the Cesaro Swing to Diego, complete with the fans counting the revolutions. Even Cesaro is dizzy after 31 spins but Fernando makes the save at two. The hot tag brings in Fernando and things speed up a bit, only to see Swagger suplex Fernando down and put on the Patriot Lock. Fernando escapes and tags in the spent Diego who hits a double backbreaker for the pin on Swagger at 5:54.

Rating: D-. I hate this team. I just do and that is all.

Torito gores Colter post match because it was SO funny the first time.

We get the Cena rehab video because there’s no feud between these two.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

After the big match intros we’re ready go to. They fight over a top wristlock to start and Cena immediately bails to the floor for safety. Back in and Cena hits a shoulder but it hurts the bad arm so he can’t follow up. Del Rio stomps him down in the corner but Cena comes back with a clothesline for two. Del Rio kicks away at the arm and gets two off a German suplex. Off to an armbar for a good while before a stomp to the chest keeps Cena in trouble.

A top rope forearm to the side of the head gets two for the champion and it’s back to the armbar. Cena finally rolls free to send Del Rio out to the floor and get himself a breather. Alberto comes back in and goes up, only to jump into a dropkick. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the AA is countered into a Backstabber. Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Cena to hit a tornado DDT of all things for two.

The top rope Fameasser is broken up by a running enziguri but Cena ducks an attempt at a second one. Another AA is escaped and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for the champion. Sandow is shown watching from the back. Del Rio puts Cena in the Tree of Woe but misses a charge into the post, allowing Cena to hit a high cross body for two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but Cena rolls through the cross armbreaker into the STF. Ropes are quickly grabbed though and a low superkick gets two for the champion.

Now the armbreaker goes on full but Cena rolls on top of Del Rio to block a lot of the pressure. Del Rio rolls down Cena’s elbow pad to increase the pressure but Cena lifts him up into the air for a powerbomb in a nice counter. Back up and the AA gives Cena his fourteenth world title at 15:13.

Rating: C+. This took awhile to get going but it wasn’t terrible or anything. Cena winning is the right choice as they can have the rematch next month at Survivor Series, which gives Cena something to do and keeps him out of the main storyline with the new regime and all that jazz. Del Rio losing is fine as it was just a matter of someone catching him eventually. This was fine and I have little problem with Cena winning. If nothing else it might pick up the world title’s credibility.

No Sandow.

More expert panel.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

AJ is defending. Brie gets shoved down to start and it’s off to a quick chinlock. The fans are noticeably not that interested in the match to put it mildly. A neckbreaker puts Brie down and AJ skips around the ring to the only reaction so far. AJ hooks a guillotine choke but Brie drives her into the corner and hits a middle rope dropkick to put the champion down.

A few more dropkicks have AJ in trouble but she sends Brie into the corner to stop her. The Black Widow is countered and Brie puts on a half crab as Nikki beats up Tamina. AJ makes the rope and Brie’s running knee hits her sister, allowing the Black Widow to retain the title for AJ at 5:20.

Rating: D+. THANK GOODNESS. It’s so nice to see the talented and popular wrestler get the chance for once instead of bowing to reality TV. This likely sets up the Bella feud which no one is interested in but will give us lots of moments to look at the camera for some very REAL heart to heart moments.

The Prime Time Players are playing WWE 14 when Bob Backlund of all people comes up, drenched in sweat for some reason. He thinks video games are a waste of time but Titus says the kids can play and become immortal. The result: Bob Backlund doing the Millions of Dollars dance. I’ve got nothing to add here, but more Bob Backlund cameos would be appreciated.

We get a long recap of Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan. They fought at Night of Champions with Bryan winning but being stripped of the title the next night on Raw. Battleground saw them fight to a no contest, so tonight it’s the showdown in the Cell with guest referee Shawn Michaels. Shawn trained Bryan but is best friends with COO HHH.

WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Inside the Cell with Shawn refereeing. Orton is introduced as the Viper for the first time in forever. HHH comes out as well to make the entrances stretch out even longer but leaves before the bell. The Cell is lowered. They slug it out to start but Orton takes over with a quick powerslam. Bryan comes right back with a quick necksnap and a missile dropkick followed by some kicks in the corner. There’s the moonsault out of the corner but Orton dropkicks a charging Bryan down for two.

Orton slowly stomps away before draping Bryan ribs first over the top rope. Bryan is knocked into the Cell wall and sent into the steps for good measure. Orton rams the head into the cage wall before Bryan reverses a whip to send Randy into the steps. Back inside now with Bryan getting two and firing off the kicks to the chest. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the chest followed by a running dropkick to the face. Orton goes to the floor but sidesteps the FLYING GOAT, sending Bryan head first into the steel.

Back in and Orton loads up a superplex but gets caught in a nice sunset bomb to put both guys down. Shawn hasn’t been a factor at all yet. Bryan fires off more kicks but Orton comes back with right hands, only to have Daniel score with the running clothesline. There’s the Swan Dive for two and Orton’s rollup is countered into a YES Lock attempt. Ropes mean nothing here (actually keeping continuity for a change) so Orton has to crawl to the floor for the break.

Now it’s Bryan whipping Orton into the Cell walls over and over again before dropkicking Orton into the steel. Bryan finds a chair under the ring and pops Orton in the back with it before pulling out several more chairs to toss in the ring. He throws in probably ten chairs before using one to blast Orton in the ribs and back again. Back in and Orton goes to the eyes and picks up a chair for some shots and a two count.

Another shot to the back gets the same and Orton piles up the chairs in the middle of the ring. Bryan is loaded up into a superplex and you can hear the crowd gasp. Daniel punches his way out to prevent immense pain but Orton crotches him down. The superplex connects but only Bryan’s legs hit the chairs, meaning it’s only good for two. This brings HHH back out to say that was a three, giving us our DX moment of extreme emotions. Orton hits the t-bone suplex but Shawn is too busy arguing to count the pin.

More arguing ensues as Orton escapes the YES Lock again. The Elevated DDT connects for two and Shawn argues with HHH even more. Orton loads up the RKO but Bryan shoves him away, taking out Shawn in the process. HHH of course opens the Cell as Bryan hits the running knee, and since he’s in a referee shirt, the former world champion is knocked out from a single shot to the back. Bryan hits the running knee to an invading HHH but Shawn superkicks Bryan down, giving Orton the pin and the title at 22:22;

Rating: B-. Good match but you knew the screwy finish was coming. I liked that they actually cranked up the violence here with some nice weapon spots, but the ending sets up more drama, likely culminating soon. I can’t imagine Shawn fights Bryan in an actual match, but HHH vs. Bryan is likely coming soon. Good main event here but Bryan’s push is in severe pain.

Shawn leaves and Orton and HHH pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was better than I was expecting which was a nice surprise. It certainly isn’t must see or even really all that good, but it feels like something happened here, meaning the show was actually important. That’s a major step up over the previous show this month so at least they’re moving in the right direction. We’ve got some new ideas set up going forward and the matches weren’t bad for the most part, so we’ll call this a nice effort with some decent results.

Results

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Usos and Shield – Cross Rhodes to Rollins

Summer Rae/Fandango b. Great Khali/Natalya – Rollup to Natalya

Big E. Langston b. Dean Ambrose via countout

CM Punk b. Paul Heyman/Ryback – GTS to Ryback

Los Matadores b. Real Americans – Double backbreaker to Swagger

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

AJ Lee b. Brie Bella – Black Widow

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – Orton pinned Bryan after Sweet Chin Music from Shawn Michaels

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More commonly known as Battleground II.Starting with the preshow match as usual, I’ll take and hope for Langston to take the title.  Axel has done nothing with it because WWE has decided to have him job to Punk and R-Truth every few weeks.  Langston needs to take it and not lose a match at all until say February.

Orton vs. Bryan should FINALLY end the feud and I think they go with Randy.  I don’t think Shawn turns heel, but I think somehow Big Show knocks Bryan out by mistake and Shawn has to live up to his word by counting the pin on Bryan to end the show.

Punk has to win the match and end the feud.  This is another one where the promos are still good, but there’s just nowhere else for the story to go.  Punk somehow incapacitates Ryback by locking him out of the Cell or handcuffing him to the wall and destroying Heyman once and for all.

I think Cena takes the title but there’s no cash in.  Cena winning the belt is the best course of action as it gives the title a breath of life and keeps Cena away from the main story.  Sandow being absent from TV this week makes me think they hope we forget about him though, because WWE thinks people forget a character in a week.

Brie beats AJ, the fans don’t react at all for her big moment, meaning it’s time to push her in the main event scene with Bryan and Cena.

I hope the Usos take the belts.  They’re WAY overdue for a title reign, but Goldust and Cody are on fire right now.  I’d be fine either way but I hope the twins take it.

Los Matadores over the Real Americans because it makes sense to job a former world champion and a guy who should be a world champion for the sake of pushing a mascot.

Overall the show doesn’t feel very interesting but it does feel like the end for this way too long cycle.  The extra PPV earlier in the month really dragged things down and made the stories even longer.  A lot of the stories just need to end before they drag on far too long.  Things can finally change up for a set of two month programs before we hit the Rumble and the push for Wrestlemania.  The show will be better than Battleground but won’t light the world on fire.

Thoughts/predictions?

Smackdown
Date: October 25, 2013
Location: Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re finally at the last show before the Cell PPV which technically has been built up for about two months now, depending on how you look at it. The main story coming out of Monday is that Big Show is indeed still around despite being in a bunch of lawsuits both for and against him which is riveting television if I’ve ever heard of it. This company is in desperate need of a new top story but I wouldn’t look for that to change anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the HHH/Big Show stuff from Raw including the Bryan vs. Orton contract signing.

We open with Cole in the ring for a sitdown interview with HHH. Hasn’t he had two or three of these already recently? Cole asks HHH about Big Show’s actions on Monday which HHH say caused six technical employees to be fired. There’s yet another lawsuit against Big Show on charges not important enough to specify so HHH can’t comment. Big Show is however fired, period. Cole asks about Big Show showing up either Sunday or tonight but HHH says he can’t comment.

Cole gives up on the point and asks about Cena vs. Del Rio with HHH saying he can’t wait for Cena’s return. He knows what it’s like to come back from a devastating injury and he can’t wait to see Cena come back. That’s enough Cena talk so Cole asks about the other world title, drawing a YES chant. When asked about the Shawn Michaels element, HHH says he’s thrilled because Shawn is indeed his friend and will make sure the job gets done. Shawn will do the right thing at the end of the day so HHH isn’t worried. Cole asks what the right thing is but here’s Bryan before he can answer.

Cole heads to the floor as Bryan asks HHH the same question: what is the right thing? Bryan thinks it’s to let himself and Orton settle everything once and for all. You lock both of them in the Cell and no one gets out until there’s a winner. Bryan says Shawn may be HHH’s best friend but he’s also his own man, so he’ll do what’s best for business. When everything is fair and even, Bryan is going to prove HHH wrong. A loud YES chant takes us out.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Miz is on commentary. We get the full Siva Tao from the Usos which as usual gets a huge response. Miz sums up Bray’s look quite well: “He looks like Charles Manson fell asleep at a Jimmy Buffet concert.” Jimmy avoids a shot from the back by Harper but gets run over by Rowan just after the bell. A big boot from Harper puts him down as well and a Michinoku Driver of all things gets two.

Jimmy crawls over to make the tag to Jey and Harper is immediately caught in a Samoan drop. Everything breaks down and the Family is sent to the floor so Jimmy can hit a suicide dive but Harper breaks up Jey’s with a forearm. Bray and Miz both stand up with Miz decking Wyatt in the face. Rowan chases Miz to the back, allowing the Usos to hit a double superkick to Harper for the pin at 2:35.

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

I believe this is Nikki’s first singles match back since her leg injury. AJ bails to the floor to start to hide behind Tamina. The not so bright Nikki goes after her and gets her neck snapped across the top rope. A neckbreaker puts Nikki down for two and we’re already in the chinlock. Nikki fights up with some clotheslines as Tamina throws Brie into the steps. The distraction lets AJ hook the Black Widow for the submission at 2:31.

We see Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio as per WWE ’14.

Here’s the Cena career retrospective from Raw. Based on these videos, you would think Cena had been gone for about two years instead of nine weeks.

We go to the back where Bray Wyatt wants us to follow him. He steps aside and shows us a chained up and unconscious Miz with the sheep mask on his face and the word “liar” written on his chest. This is the kind of creepy stuff they need to get back to with the Wyatts.

3MB vs. Los Matadores

In case the first four or five times didn’t fulfill your needs for this pairing. During the entrances we see the HILARIOUS goring of Zeb Colter again. I know it’s hilarious because Cole tells us that it is over and over. Before the match the Real Americans come out to watch. Mahal is the one on the floor this time.

McIntyre jumps Diego to start before it’s quickly off to Slater who gets two off a knee lift. A double slingshot suplex gets two more on Diego and we hit the armbar from Drew. Diego fights up and makes the tag off to Fernando who cleans house and tags in Diego for a downward spiral/bulldog combo for the pin on Drew at 2:06.

Post match Mahal gets gored and taken down by a top rope Asai moonsault. Colter says he didn’t lay face down in Cambodia so deviant men can kidnap a small person and force him into a bull costume. Apparently there’s a tag match on Sunday.

Ryback/Paul Heyman vs. CM Skunk

You read the name right. This is No DQ as a preview for Sunday. Heyman says this will be a demonstration of the teamwork you’ll see inside the Cell on Sunday. Skunk comes out to Punk’s music and in a black hoodie but the fans quickly catch on to the joke. He has a skunk stripe painted into his hair. Ryback destroys him with the ease you would expect and hits two powerbombs in a row. Heyman pulls a kendo stick out from under the ring and hits about twenty shots to Skunk’s back. Shell Shock ends Skunk with Heyman getting the pin at 2:42.

Heyman says that Skunk may have been a parody, but the same thing is going to happen on Sunday. Punk’s face will be raked across the Cell and he’ll be beaten badly enough that Heyman can get the pin again.

Vickie thinks CM Skunk is hilarious and spells out the joke for us by telling us that it sounds like CM Punk. Langston comes in and says he’s ready for the main event since Miz is out. Vickie doesn’t think so but Langston says he didn’t realize he was talking to Brad Maddox. That’s enough to get him Miz’s spot in the eight man tag tonight.

Here’s Alberto Del Rio for his final speech before facing Cena on Sunday. People have been telling him he’s crazy but people have been building monuments to him in Mexico. Babies are being named after him because he’s so amazing. On the other hand you have Americans who only have John Cena to cheer for. Alberto promises to put Cena in the cross armbreaker and never let it go no matter what the fans think of him.

R-Truth shills merchandise again but Santino comes in to try his luck. The (up to) 20% off sale is still on WWE.com if you enter the promo code COBRA.

Great Khali vs. Fandango

Fandango chops away to start and is immediately thrown down. Khali hits his big overhand chop in the corner but Fandango hits a jumping enziguri to put Khali down in the corner. The announcers are talking about Big Show and JBL references Copernicus just like he did on NXT, saying the world clearly revolves around Big Show instead of the sun. Summer Rae and Natalya get in a fight on the floor which stumbles into the ring for the DQ at 1:45. Can we get a match longer than three minutes tonight?

Randy Orton/Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Big E. Langston/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

That’s quite the main event. Cody and Dean get things going with Rhodes taking the US Champion into the good corner for a tag off to Goldust. Goldie sends Ambrose out to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Rollins chopping away at Langston, only to be taken down with a belly to belly suplex. Cody comes back in and gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner, only to have Seth send him face first into the middle turnbuckle.

The fast Shield tags begin with Reigns coming in to chop away, only to have Cody pull him over to the corner for a tag off to Bryan. Daniel takes Roman down by the leg and does the double knee stomp out of the surfboard. Off to Langston for some shoulders in the corner and a tag off to Goldust. Reigns misses a charge into the corner and Goldust gets two off a top rope spinning cross body. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with the match so far.

Back to Cody who gets taken into the Shield corner for a pounding from Ambrose and an eye rake across the top rope. Orton gets his first tag and pounds away on his former Legacy teammate, only to have Cody come back with a clothesline for two. A suplex gets the same and it’s back to Goldust for a few seconds before Cody comes in again and slugs on Randy some more. Randy comes back by dropping Cody ribs first over the top rope and makes the tag off to Ambrose.

Dean takes Cody to the outside and rams him into the barricade. It’s quickly back to Orton who misses a knee drop but catches Cody in the backbreaker out of the corner for two. We take another break and come back with Reigns slamming Cody down for two. Back to Rollins who grabs Cody’s leg to break up a hot tag attempt. Dean runs into a boot in the corner but he makes a blind tag to Seth, only to have Cody catch him diving off the top. The hot tag brings in Goldust to wake up the crowd and he backdrops Rollins down with ease.

Reigns makes another blind tag and takes Goldust down with a clothesline. Shield takes over on Goldust in the corner with the rapid tags continuing. Orton comes back in to stomp Goldie down into the corner before Reigns and Rollins come in within about 8 seconds of each other. Goldust comes back with a double bulldog and there’s the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel cleans house and sends Rollins to the outside. Reigns gets the same treatment, leaving Daniel alone with Dean.

Bryan backflips over Ambrose in the corner but instead of clotheslining Dean down it’s the FLYING GOAT to take out Orton. The missile dropkicks takes Dean down and here come the YES kicks. Reigns breaks up the YES Lock but Langston runs Roman over. Rollins escapes the Big Ending but a Disaster Kick takes Seth to the floor. Cody dives off the top to take out Rollins and Reigns but Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner. Back to Orton for the Elevated DDT but Langston distracts him, allowing Bryan to hit the running knee for the pin at 15:58 shown of 22:58.

Rating: B. Nice main event here which got the time it needed to build up. Bryan pinning Orton to end things probably isn’t a good sign leading into the PPV but at this point I’ll take anything to get us to a new main event program. Everyone looked good here and I like the idea of Langston in the main event scene.

Celebrating ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a tricky one to rate. The main event is solid and takes up about ¼ of the show, but the rest of it was pure filler the entire way through. I did like the Wyatts kidnapping and labeling Miz for lack of a better term. There’s potential in those guys and a win over a former world champion isn’t going to hurt Bray at all. The show went by quickly which is a good idea and the whole thing did a decent enough job of building up the PPV on Sunday. Not bad here but nothing really worth seeing, other than maybe the main event if you’re bored.

Results

Usos b. Wyatt Family – Double superkick to Harper

AJ Lee b. Nikki Bella – Black Widow

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Downward spiral/bulldog combination to McIntyre

Paul Heyman/Ryback b. CM Skunk – Heyman pinned Skunk after a Shell Shock from Ryback

Fandango vs. Great Khali went to a no contest when Natalya and Summer Rae interfered

Daniel Bryan/Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Big E. Langston b. Randy Orton/Shield – Running knee to Orton

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Smackdown
Date: October 18, 2013
Location: Spring Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re practically at a standstill here with the Cell PPV a little over a week away. Orton is still feuding with Bryan, Big Show is still a vigilante and no one cares about the Bellas as the new saviors of the Divas. However Goldust and Cody Rhodes are the new tag team champions after a great match on Monday night. We need to get to the PPV already to get us on to anything new. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event from Raw with Big Show costing Shield the titles.

Theme song.

After the theme song we open with Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero in the ring. Vickie screeches about running a tight ship here on Smackdown and guarantees that Big Show will not be causing havoc here tonight. There will be order and discipline and Brad is here to assist her in achieving those goals. Brad says he’ll be keeping Big Show out of here tonight and Vickie praises the regime for their guidance. Cue Daniel Bryan who says he’s glad these two are doing what’s best for business.

What’s best for business though is Bryan beating Randy Orton inside the Cell with guest referee Shawn Michaels. As for tonight however, there’s a rumor that a 7’0 monster has gotten through security and here he is. Actually it’s just Big Show’s music and there is no giant. Bryan says he’s just messing with the two of them, drawing a laugh from the crowd. Big Show isn’t here yet but Cody Rhodes and Goldust are. Vickie yells about wanting discipline and makes Bryan/Cody/Goldust vs. Shield for tonight before cackling a lot.

Wyatt Family vs. The Miz/Kofi Kingston

Miz jumps Rowan to start and hits a quick corner clothesline to knock him into the corner. Off to Kofi to attack the arm before Harper comes in and sends Kingston into the corner. A quick cross body gets two on Luke but he dives into a big boot for two. Back to Rowan for a slam before Harper comes in for a chinlock. Kofi avoids a charge in the corner and goes to tag Miz, only to have Erick pull him off the apron. Harper sneaks in and takes Kofi’s head off with the discus lariat for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D+. No time to go anywhere here but it furthers the Miz vs. Wyatt feud. With Bray on the shelf we’re going to have to build it up on promos but luckily that’s where Bray shines more than anything else. Kofi was his usual jobbing self here but he never loses any popularity. It’s also good to see the Wyatts get a win to make up for their loss last week.

Post match the Wyatts circle Kofi but Bray calls them off. It’s ok that Miz is afraid because Bray is the hammer that everyone fears. Miz should enjoy his world as long as he can because the Wyatts are going to take it all away.

Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee

Brie has a banged up shoulder. AJ immediately bails to the floor a few times but Tamina blocks Brie from going after her. Tamina finally moves and Brie gets in a right hand before sending it back inside. AJ absorbs everything Brie throws at her and snaps the bad arm over the top rope to take over. Off to an armbar as Brie screams a lot. Brie’s arm is wrapped around the middle rope and it’s already back to another armbar. The twin comes back with an elbow in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Nikki throws Tamina into the steps, allowing Brie to grab a TERRIBLE looking Bella Buster for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D. If this is supposed to make me sympathize with or care about the Bellas, it’s not quite working. I have a hard time caring about two beautiful women on a reality show who happen to be sleeping with two of the three top guys in the company. The whole feud started because AJ said she was a wrestler and Brie is a reality TV personality but we’re supposed to like the reality TV star on the wrestling show. Yet WWE is surprised it’s not working.

Lillian is introducing a match when Big Show comes through the crowd. He gets in the ring and holds up a ticket given to him by Daniel Bryan. Big Show thanks the fans for all the support he’s given to him through social media and it seems the fans want Big Show to get his job back. He holds up his fist but here are the GM’s (Hanzel and Gretel according to Show) to try to throw him out. Brad says Show has nothing to lose which Show says is the worst thing you can say. There’s the KO punch and Show leaves through the crowd.

CM Punk vs. Big E. Langston

Langston easily breaks Punk’s grip and pounds him down before running Punk over with a shoulder block. A big knee lift puts Punk down again but CM fights up and slugs away at Langston before low bridging him out to the floor. Punk’s slingshot plancha is caught in midair and Punk is rammed back first into the post as we go to a break. Back with Langston caught in a half crab but powering out, only to have his hurricanrana caught in another half crab.

Langston lets him go but a Warrior splash only hits knees. Punk comes back with the leg lariat to the face but the swinging neckbreaker is countered. Langston misses a charge into the post and falls out to the floor, setting up a nice suicide dive from Punk. Back in and a high cross body gets a close two. The fans are liking this. The top rope elbow gets another two count but Langston escapes the GTS and runs Punk over. Warrior Splash gets two but Punk slips out of the Big Ending and it’s high kick/GTS for the pin at 7:38 shown of 11:08.

Rating: B-. Fun match here with Punk playing a good David to Langston’s Goliath. I’m a fan of Big E. and it’s annoying to see him fall through the cracks like he has in the last few months. He’s more than capable of talking and his look is enough to keep him around for years. Good match here.

Post match here are Heyman and company to congratulate Punk on his win over a marginally talented rookie. However Punk has to face a professional inside the Cell and he wants no part of that man. Punk says that makes Heyman an idiot rather than the best in the world. There are two words that Heyman needs to focus on.

The first is Cell, as in what they’re going to be locked inside of. The second word is Hell, which is what Heyman and Ryback are going to go through. Heyman quotes AC/DC and threatens to come explain what he means personally. The Heyman guys head to the ring to beat down Punk but Langston makes the save. Looks like a face turn which could be intriguing.

After a break Del Rio is in the ring waving a Mexican flag. Josh introduces us to the Cena video from Raw. Alberto says that he was waving that flag because he’s the champion of Mexico. Unlike himself, the people here have no passion or soul at all. John Cena is the ultimate gringo representing these people and Del Rio can’t stand him.

Who does Cena think he is by coming back and being handed a world title shot? Cena has only been gone two months but his ego keeps growing day by day. After he loses to Del Rio, he’ll be just like all these people: a nobody. Josh gets put in the armbreaker as an example of what’s happening at the PPV.

We recap Big Show knocking out Maddox. Brad sold the heck out of that punch.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Colter is on commentary. Cesaro gets elbowed down by Jimmy to start as Colter rants about Los Matadores. Off to Swagger to run over Jimmy in the corner and Colter is blaming the government shutdown for the arrival of Los Matadores. Cesaro does a remarkable 27 rotation giant swing to Jimmy to one of the biggest reactions of the night.

Back to Swagger for some stomping and a double chickenwing. Colter wants to know what kind of people kidnap a little person and make them dress like a bull. Maybe they owe child support and have been passing bad checks. Cue Los Matadores so Torito can gore Colter a few times. Jey comes back with a NASTY looking superkick to set up the Superfly Splash on Swagger for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D. This was a squash with a screwy ending. It’s very annoying to see Cesaro get more and more over because of a great display of physical strength, only to be used to put over a worthless tag team like Los Matadores. The Usos need to get the tag titles eventually and there’s a chance they can take them from the Rhodes Brothers, perhaps in a three way match.

Swagger gets beaten up post match.

Raw ReBound shows Shawn and Orton’s showdown.

Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Orton comes out after Bryan and says that Bryan can’t beat him and that he’s in way over his head. Goldust and Reigns get things going with the power man taking Goldie into the corner and the fast Shield tags start. Rollins stomps Goldust down and it’s quickly back to Roman who gets caught in a Russian legsweep. A kick to the side of Roman’s head is good for two and it’s off to Cody for a springboard missile dropkick.

Rhodes gets caught in the wrong corner as well with Roman sending him into the post as we go to a break. Back with Ambrose raking Cody’s eyes on the top rope before it’s back to Rollins for a modified chinlock. Reigns comes back in for a splash and a chinlock of his own before elbowing Cody down for two. Back to Rollins for some kicks to the back before Roman comes in again for a standing chinlock. There’s a distinct lack of Ambrose int his match so far.

Cody sidesteps a charging Roman and sends him out to the floor. Back in and a dropkick puts Roman down again but Rollins dropkicks Goldust off the apron. Seth gets kneed in the face for his troubles and it’s a double tag off to Ambrose vs. Bryan. Daniel responds to the YES chants and hits all his favorites including the moonsault out of the corner, the corner dropkick and the kick to the head. Everything breaks down and a Disaster Kick drops Rollins.

Ambrose and Bryan hit double clotheslines but Reigns’ spear hits the steps instead of Goldust. A running knee to Dean’s ribs puts him down but Bryan can’t launch the headbutt. Dean gets two off a butterfly superplex as Cody makes a save. Cody loads up a sunset flip from the apron but Rollins counters into a powerbomb throw onto Goldust onto the announce table. Back in and Bryan almost gets the YES Lock but has to go after Rollins. The FLYING GOAT takes out Seth and Dean and the running knee is enough to pin Ambrose at 9:48 shown of 13:18.

Rating: B. This took time to get going but the last five minutes or so were such complete insanity that it’s hard not to love. They kind of booked themselves into a corner here though as you can’t have the tag champions lose four days after getting the belts and you can’t have Bryan lose this close to a world title match so Shield had to go down. Still though, fun stuff.

Overall Rating: B-. This is what Smackdown needs to be: focused more on action than the storytelling. The main event as well as Punk vs. Langston were good matches and the rest of the matches other than the Divas weren’t terrible. I liked this so much better than Raw as we didn’t waste time on recapping everything and actually did stuff. Nice show tonight.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Kofi Kingston/The Miz – Discus lariat to Kingston

Brie Bella b. AJ Lee – Bella Buster

CM Punk b. Big E. Langston – GTS

Usos b. Real Americans – Superfly Splash to Swagger

Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield – Running knee to Ambrose

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Seriously.

Battleground 2013
Date: October 6, 2013
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’ve arrived at one of the least interesting shows in recent memory. There’s just not much interest in this show and I can’t say I’m surprised. The world title matches are both rematches and the other two main matches aren’t anything huge. There just isn’t much to go on with this show and it’s going to be even worse next time with HIAC. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow quotes Benjamin Franklin and talks about progress. Tonight he’ll show you what progress is about by beating a former Money in the Bank winner, but if the hardcore match goes the way he thinks, you’ll see him again as World Heavyweight Champion. Sandow grabs a headlock to start before taking Ziggler down with some clotheslines. Ziggler comes right back with a dropkick and the ten elbow drops to wake the crowd up. Damien will have none of this being in trouble stuff though and whips Ziggler over the corner as we take a break.

Back with Dolph getting two off a small package, only to get clotheslined down for the same result. We hit an arm stretch by Sandow for a bit before Sandow goes up, only to jump into a dropkick to the shoulder. Ziggler comes back with ten right hands in the corner but misses the Fameasser and gets caught with an Edge-O-Matic for two.

Damien kicks out the knee and hits a flip neckbreaker for two more as this match just keeps going. The Terminus is countered and the Fameasser gets a near fall for Dolph. Damien blocks the Zig Zag and rolls Ziggler up for two but tweaks his knee coming out of the corner, allowing Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it wasn’t interesting. Both of these guys have been beaten down so much that it’s almost impossible to care about either one of them. The stakes in this match were so low and the match just kept going, making it even worse. Not much of interest here but it wasn’t the worst match ever with some decent near falls.

The opening video recaps the Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton feud.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is defending and this is a hardcore match. Alberto immediately heads to the floor but gets dropkicked through the ropes to give Van Dam control. A moonsault off the barricade puts the champion down and a slingshot DDT onto a chair gets two back inside. Alberto comes back with a wicked Backstabber for two before a few chair shots get the same. The chair is wedged between the top and middle ropes but Rob comes back with a kick to the face.

Rob pulls out a ladder and blasts Alberto in the face to knock him out to the floor. Back in and Rolling Thunder onto Del Rio onto the ladder only hits the ladder and the champion takes over. He snaps off the enziguri and stomps the ladder onto Rob for two before grabbing a trashcan. Rob dropkicks it back into his face and both guys are down.

A superkick puts the champion down and there’s the split legged moonsault onto Del Rio onto the ladder for two. Rolling Thunder hits the ladder again and there’s the armbreaker. Ricardo makes the save by hitting Del Rio with the bucket, earning himself a trip to the floor and a whip into the barricade.

Rob dropkicks the ladder into Del Rio and hits the Five Star onto the ladder onto Del Rio on the floor. Back in (I guess hardcore no longer means pinfalls count anywhere) Del Rio kicks out at two. A Van Terminator attempt misses and both guys are down. Del Rio gets the chair and drops Rob face first onto the steel before kicking Rob in the head to take over. He wraps it around the arm crushes it in the chair and puts on the armbreaker to retain at 16:03.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but again I don’t get the appeal of this feud at all. There isn’t much chemistry here and hopefully this is it between these two. The gimmick helped a bit but Del Rio’s title reign is just dragging at this point. He’s not bad in the ring at all but he’s crashed into the ceiling of his abilities and it’s hurting everyone now.

The Real Americans want to dip Khali and Santino in boiling hot oil. They also don’t like Buffalo that much.

Santino Marella/Great Khali vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Santino fight over a top wristlock to start with Jack taking him to the mat. Santino still can’t do the nipup so the fans chant for the Real Americans. Santino loads up the Cobra but Swagger bails to the floor, only to have to deal with Horny’s mini-Cobra. Thankfully Jack rips it up and goes back inside so Cesaro can stomp him Marella down a bit. Cesaro steals the stupid sock and it’s back to Swagger for a Vader Bomb and a running stomp by Antonio.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Swagger to pull on Santino’s arms. Santino suplexes out of it and finally brings in Khali. The giant pounds Cesaro down in the corner and hits the loud overhand chop. JBL: “That knocked one of the languages out of Cesaro.” Khali chops both Real Americans down and Santino dives over the top to take out Swagger. We FINALLY get to the point of the match as Cesaro swings Khali around for a remarkable 17 seconds and gets the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note other than the ending, but to be fair that’s what the entire match was designed to set up. Cesaro is going to have to be a face soon if he keeps swinging people around as it’s such an awesome looking move that people aren’t going to boo him. Now let’s see how WWE screws up with him and wastes his potential again.

Breast cancer is bad.

Intercontinental Title: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

This is the result of Truth beating Axel on a fluke earlier this week. Truth takes over to start by pounding away in the corner and sends Axel to the floor. Axel sends Truth into the barricade a few times for two back inside and the match slows down. The champion chokes Truth a bit and gets two off a dropkick before we hit the chinlock. Truth fights up and hits some forearms to set up a rollup for two. The spinning forearm gets the same and so does the sitout gordbuster. Axel sends him into the buckle and the fans chant boring. Thankfully Axel listens to them and hits his neckbreaker into a cutter to retain at 6:32.

Rating: D. I’m really getting tired of this idea of some random guy pins the champion and getting a title shot as a result. Instead, why not have Truth beat a bunch of guys (say everyone in 3MB, Swagger and one other guy) and earns a title shot as a result? It makes Axel look like he’s beating someone of note and gives Truth some credibility coming into the match. Nah that’s a stupid idea so let’s just have them trade wins like they do all the time.

We recap the pre-show.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

Brie is challenging and takes AJ down with ease, sending the champion out to the floor. AJ hides behind Tamina and heads back inside to take over. Brie is sent into the post and AJ goes after the arm, wrapping it around the middle rope. Brie’s DDT is countered into a DDT on the arm for two before sending her shoulder first “into” the post.

AJ keeps shouting about being better than Brie before going off on the bad arm with elbows. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar but AJ lets it go to skip around the ring. Brie dropkicks her down and hits some really basic stuff before knocking AJ down with a running knee. Tamina is choking Nikki Bella down though and the distraction lets AJ roll up Brie for the pin with a handful of tights at 6:32.

Rating: D+. To recap this story, AJ won the Divas Title clean, defeated every one of the Total Divas in the same match with a completely clean submission hold, and has held the title against all of them, but we’re supposed to boo her because the other girls are catty to each other on a reality show. The match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw, but the fans were more into it than they were the IC Title match.

We recap the Rhodes Family’s troubles, setting up the tag match tonight.

Dusty and his kids are ready for Shield. Cody gives a great speech about how his family may not be perfect but they fight for each other.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns

If the Rhodes Family wins, they get their jobs back. If Shield wins, Cody and Goldust are gone forever and Dusty loses his job too. This is also non-title. Dusty is at ringside to counter act Dean Ambrose and Goldust looks like Darth Maul. Cody pounds away on Seth to start and it’s quickly off to Roman who gets pounded down in the corner. Shield bails to the floor and stalks Dusty, setting up a cool looking six man standoff with the brothers protecting their dad.

Back in and Roman knees Cody down as the champions take over. Seth comes in but walks into an elbow to the jaw and a stomping in the corner. Rollins sends him into the buckle to escape and it’s off to Roman for some power. After an easy pounding it’s quickly back to Rollins to crank on the shoulder a bit. Cody gets caught in the Tree of Woe but frees up a leg to kick Seth down. The moonsault press hits Rollins perfectly and the hot tag brings in Goldust.

An atomic drop slows Reigns down and Goldust pounds him down in the corner. Goldust hits a spinning cross body off the top for two but misses a regular cross body, sending him out to the floor. Goldie dives back in at nine but gets caught in a body scissors from Rollins. Back to Reigns for a good looking clothesline for two before it’s back to Rollins who gets the same off a hilo. Goldust comes back by avoiding a dropkick and powerslamming Seth down. There’s the hot tag off to Cody for an Alabama Slam to Rollins for a very near fall. Something like a Muscle Buster gets two on Rollins and everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick staggers Reigns and Cody clotheslines him to the floor but an Ambrose distraction allows Seth to come back in for the save. Dusty elbows Ambrose down and Seth rolls up Cody for two. Rhodes comes pops back up and hits Cross Rhodes for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: B. This was ALL about emotion coming in but the match was good stuff on top of that. Again, this match worked because we were given a reason to care about the underdogs and wanted to see them win instead of being told we wanted to see them win. That’s how you make a good story and it worked perfectly well here.

The Rhodes family celebrates and some tag teams, Mike Rotundo and Arn Anderson come out to celebrate. The old school fan in me cringes at Dusty and Arn celebrating together.

Hell in a Cell ad with R-Truth preaching against its evils.

The expert panel of Tensai, Titus O’Neil and Miz talk about the show so far.

Brad and Vickie bicker about who is at fault for the Rhodes’ win.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray runs him over to start but Kofi comes back with a kick to the face. Kofi gets crotched while going up top so Bray can take over with some shots to the ribs and a neck lock. The fans start the Randy Savage chants as the match drags on. Kofi fights up but gets caught in another chinlock. Back up again and Kofi hits a dropkick followed by the Boom Drop, only to miss Trouble in Paradise.

Bray runs Kingston over with the cross body before going to the corner to bend back and look at Kofi upside down. Wyatt ups the ante a bit though by doing the Exorcist spider walk, sending Kofi running to the floor. Bray follows him out but Kofi runs back in and hits a BIG flip dive to take out the entire Family. Back in and Kofi gets two off a cross body, but the SOS is countered into Sister Abigail’s Kiss for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C-. Those rest holds were death but Bray was so freaky in this match with the spider walk and Kofi’s dive helped a lot too. This show is dying as it goes though and the match didn’t help a lot. The Wyatts need to move up the card, but at least their antics are still creepy enough to make you take notice.

We recap Punk vs. Ryback. There’s not much to this one: Punk was about to kill Heyman last month when Ryback interfered as the newest Paul Heyman Guy. Tonight is Punk’s first step back towards revenge and Heyman himself.

CM Punk vs. Ryback

They stare at each other to start until Punk fires off some kicks to the legs, sending Ryback out to the floor. Punk follows him out and sends Ryback face first into the barricade and then into the post for good measure. Ryback shrugs it off and takes Punk back inside for a slam off the top to gain control. Punk’s ribs are sent into the post and we hit the chinlock.

A legdrop gets two on Punk and Ryback pounds away with some hard kicks. Ryback stays on Punk and shoves him around with his boot as this is still in slow motion. Off to a chinlock with a bodyscissors as the fans are getting restless. Punk finally comes back with some kicks and a swinging neckbreaker but Heyman grabs a mic and brags about beating Punk, allowing Ryback to come back back with a huge powerbomb for two.

Another powerbomb attempt is countered with a kick to the head and the Macho Elbow for two. Ryback fights out of the GTS and powerslams Punk down for two of his own. Punk is choked on the ropes, allowing Heyman to load up a kendo stick shot as the referee pulls Ryback away. The referee does his job for once though and catches Heyman before the swing, allowing Punk to low blow Ryback for the pin at 14:51.

Rating: C+. This was fine but the ending left a lot to be desired. Ryback is a lot better just showing off with power moves but the ending was never really in doubt as the story has to get to Punk vs. Heyman. That’s not a bad thing but like the rest of this show, it feels like an exercise in pointlessness.

More from the expert panel.

We recap the main event. Orton cashed in on Bryan at Summerslam, Bryan pinned him at Night of Champions but there was a shady referee, meaning the title was held up, setting up tonight’s match.

There’s a slight delay as the PPV feed cuts out for some reason. We come back to see the announcer and referee standing around in the ring.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

No champion coming in and after the big match intros we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start as they trade headlocks with Orton taking over. Bryan scores with a dropkick but Orton takes him right back down and rakes his boot over Daniel’s eyes. Bryan throws Orton off and fires away with the kicks as the fans finally have something to cheer for tonight. Daniel goes after Orton’s knee with a freaky leg hold before hitting some more kicks to the chest.

Orton breaks up a superplex attempt by crotching Bryan on the ropes before clotheslining him down for two. Randy pounds away in the corner and gets two more off a snap powerslam. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a knee to the ribs to stop Bryan again. Daniel fights up again and headscissors Orton to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Back in and Bryan’s missile dropkick is countered into a powerbomb and a Boston crab of all things. Bryan slips out and kicks some more but can’t get the YES Lock.

They head outside and Orton goes into Predator mode, sending Bryan into the post, the barricade and then the post again. Back in and a superplex gets two on Daniel as the crowd isn’t really into this. A backslide gets two for Bryan and there’s a big kick to the head for the same. Daniel goes up top again but Orton shoves him off the top and out to the floor with a big thud. Orton loads up the announce table but Bryan comes back with even more kicks and sends Orton into the steps.

A BIG cross body to the floor takes Randy out and the swan dive is good for a very close two. Bryan is all fired up now and hits the corner dropkicks as the fans FINALLY go nuts. Bryan snaps off more kicks but gets caught in a t-bone suplex to put both guys down. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to have Bryan shove it away and grab the YES Lock.

Cue Big Show to pull the referee out and knock Bryan out cold, albeit against his will. Brad Maddox waves Scott Armstrong to the ring but Big Show pulls him out for a KO punch of his own. Orton looks furious as Big Show gets in the ring and knocks out Orton. Big Show’s music plays and the show goes off the air with no winner after about 25:00.

Rating: B. Another good match from these two but it didn’t feel like a classic at all. The ending was straight out of the Attitude Era which isn’t a good thing. It’s clear that they’re setting up the big showdown in the Cell, but that’s not what they needed to do here. If Bryan loses there he’s more or less done, but again the show ends with the focus on Big Show instead of Bryan or the champion. Horrible ending.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being generous. This show felt like an In Your House with a big time main event and that’s not a good thing. The problem here is we’ve covered the main event already and the tag match was only so good. This whole story is such a mess anymore and the bright spots can only help it so much. It’s not going to get any better either as we have another three weeks before the Cell, which will likely be more of the same.

The worst part of this show though is that I didn’t enjoy it. Other than the Rhodes match and the main event, what was there to be excited about? This show felt like a chore to sit through coming in and didn’t redeem itself at all. The good stuff was pretty good, but everything else was just dull and worthless, which isn’t what you need when you have two shows in a month.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Rob Van Dam – Cross Armbreaker

Real Americans b. Santino Marella/Great Khali – Cesaro Swing to Khali

Curtis Axel b. R-Truth – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

AJ Lee b. Brie Bella – Rollup

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns – Cross Rhodes to Rollins

Bray Wyatt b. Kofi Kingston – Sister Abigail’s Kiss

CM Punk b. Ryback – Low blow

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest

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