Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2012
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

It’s the night after Night of Champions and we have a dispute in the world title scene. Cena and Punk went to a draw last night and now we have six weeks to set up Hell in a Cell and the final showdown (for this feud). Also we have some great news in that Lawler has gone home after the heart attack last week and we have JBL filling in for him. JBL was awesome last night so I have no issues with him here tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Heyman to Punk’s music to open the show. He talks about Cena not winning the title last night and mentions the controversy from last night’s main event. Heyman asks referee Chad Patton to come out and we get a still photo from last night which shows all four shoulders down. Patton says he made the right decision which Heyman agrees with. Heyman talks about some fan cam footage showing the ending of the match. Apparently it’s been taken off Youtube but we see it anyway.

Heyman rants a bit more and here’s Cena. Even his Titantron stuff is now pink. Nothing wrong with charity stuff. Cena tells Heyman to shut up and says it was the right call. Cena says it wasn’t him that took the video down and says that last night he said to Chad that you can’t end the match in a tie because it’s like ending the Super Bowl in a tie. John wants to know if that gives Punk the respect that he craves and Heyman says it does.

Cena says that they have different definitions of respect because a draw isn’t something that gets respect. He wants to know who the winner is and he wants to know tonight. Punk isn’t here tonight apparently but Heyman is the voice of the voice of the voiceless. Cue Alberto of all people to complain about the Brogue Kick being legalized at the last minute. Del Rio wants another title shot so here’s AJ who has no jurisdiction over that I don’t think. Tonight it’s Punk/Del Rio vs. Sheamus/Cena. Heyman goes after AJ but she skips away.

Cole is wearing a Long Live The King shirt. That’s a nice touch. He’s alone at the commentary table right now. We see a Tout from Lawler from last week and we’re told he’s gone home to Memphis. That’s awesome news. Lawler will be here via satellite next week.

JBL comes out for commentary. AND SO DOES JIM ROSS! WITH THE BEARD!

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio vs. Epico/Primo

Cara and Primo start us off and some double teaming gets two on Primo. Off to Rey as we take a break. Back with Epico holding Cara in a front facelock before it’s back to Primo. A tornado DDT puts Primo down and it’s off to Epico and Rey. Rey speeds things up and it’s back to Cara. Both cousins get caught in a 619 and Cara hits a Swanton for the pin on Epico at 6:52. Most of that was in the break so no rating but it was a squash.

Post match the Prime Time Players jump Mysterio and Cara. My goodness it’s almost like THERE ARE TAG TEAMS THAT ARE FEUDING FOR A SHOT AT THE BELTS! LIKE A DIVISION! Titus says they’re tired of having things taken from them and Young says that ends now. The Players seem to be a lot more serious now.

The new champs defend against the old champs tonight. See that? FIVE actual teams!

We talk about breast cancer a bit.

Miz has his own talk show called MizTV now.

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Non-title here and Layla is on commentary. JBL is back on the conspiracy theory thing from last night. Beth shoves the new champion down as Layla thinks Eve is behind Kaitlyn’s injury. Beth pounds away on Eve and is being all aggressive here for some reason. She loads up the Glam Slam but Eve kicks Beth in the shin to break it up. That gets her nowhere as Beth pounds on Eve in the corner. Eve escapes snake eyes and rolls Beth up for the 1:47. What was up with this? Eve looked like she was a jobber until the end.

Layla and Eve have a staredown post match.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

They’ve cut out Brodus’ speech before the intros. The good news here: Cesaro is on commentary and is being asked about Brodus a lot. Slater gets in some offense to start but Brodus makes his comeback. A Cesaro distraction lets Slater hit what I think is his finisher (falling cutter) for two. Slater goes up and jumps into the headbutt. The splash gets the pin at 2:05.

Here’s Miz for his talk show. He brags about keeps the title last night and talks about what you get an Intercontinental Champion. You get him a talk show of course. He talks about how great his show is compared to everyone else because he’ll be controversial and awesome. He proved that last night when he beat the three best guys his guest could throw at him. Here’s Booker and Miz talks about how his career is better than Booker’s. Miz points out that he beat three guys BLINDFOLDED last night. That’s awesome indeed.

Miz won’t let Booker talk but the fans chant for Booker. Miz asks about the Brogue Kick being reinstated and thinks it’s because Booker misses the spotlight. Booker finally gets in a word and says that Miz needs a new guest. It’s someone used to beating more than one person at once. Cue RYBACK! YES! Miz runs and Ryback destroys the set. A couch misses Miz and the idiot fans chant Goldberg as usual. HE GORILLA PRESSES A SOFA! GOOD FREAKING NIGHT! Did I mention I’m a big Ryback fan?

We see Lawler’s Tout again and hear the announcements from earlier.

Josh interrupts Punk and Heyman in the back. Punk isn’t looking forward to teaming with Del Rio tonight and is annoyed at still not getting respect.

Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler

JBL isn’t a Cobra fan to say the least. Santino tosses Ziggler down to start and gets dropkicked in the face. Dolph whips him in and Santino power walks. A jackknife cover gets two and Santino hooks an armbar. Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker and elbow drop for two. He stuffs the Cobra in Santino’s mouth (keep it PG please) and it’s a slow motion slugout. Santino does his comeback stuff but there’s no Cobra. Vickie steals the sock and the distraction lets Ziggler hit the Zig Zag for no cover. Another Zig Zag gets the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. It’s a freaking sock. Why is this supposed to be entertaining? I get that it’s for the kids and at least it didn’t have magical powers tonight, but the fact that I just had to type that should sum up all of the problems that I have with this character right now. At least this was a squash, but it says a lot that this is Ziggler’s biggest win in weeks.

Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel

Gabriel speeds things up to start but Wade kicks him in the ribs and we head to the floor. Back in the ring and Barrett works over the ribs and back some more. A right hand to the head gets two and it’s back to the ribs. The fans who still won’t shut up now want Nexus. Barrett’s pumphandle slam is countered and Gabriel hits a top rope Lionsault for two. Barrett pulls on his nose and hits a big forearm/punch for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’m not wild on Barrett using a forearm as a finisher. It does fit with his character at least which is the right idea. I’m certainly not a fan of the match focusing on Gabriel’s ribs before a big right hand ending the match. Still though it’s good to see Barrett back and I like his grizzled look better than the clean cut one.

Truth and Kofi are having a birthday party but they can’t figure out who it’s for. It’s for SUBWAY and the Jerrid guy is here with sandwiches for them. The guys leave and here’s Sandow with an idea for a sandwich. Ryder shows up and offers the WOO WOO WOO You Know It sub. Ryback comes up and takes a sandwich. FEED ME MORE. He takes another sandwich and leaves. This goes less than nowhere. It takes us backwards.

Sheamus and Cena are in the back and Cena looks distracted. He didn’t win last night and he isn’t sure what’s going to happen in the future. Sheamus says don’t worry about it and we’ll toast the end of Punk’s reign tonight.

Kane and Bryan are telling anyone that will listen that they’re the tag champions. That would be they’re alone and shouting that they’re “the tag team champions.”

We get a clip of Lawler landing in Memphis.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Kane/Daniel Bryan

The place EXPLODES for Bryan. Kane and Bryan get in an argument before the match about who starts and the fans chant YES. Bryan and Kofi start things off and dang can Kofi jump. Off to Truth as the former champions work over the arm. Bryan charges into Truth’s boot and a cross body gets two for Kofi. Off to Kane and Kofi fires off some shots to the body which get him punched in the face. Kofi low bridges Kane and backdrops Bryan onto the big man. They get in a fight over THAT too and we take a break.

Back with Truth breaking free of a bearhug from Kane and getting some feet up in the corner. A middle rope dropkick puts Kane down and it’s off to Kofi who comes in off the top with a shot to Kane’s head. The top rope crossbody gets two for Kofi and there’s the Boom Drop. The kick is caught in a chokeslam but Kofi escapes and goes up, only to jump into the uppercut. Kane holds his arm up for the chokeslam and Bryan tags himself in, leading to argument #3.

Truth gets the tag and hits the spinning forearm to Bryan followed by the release sitout suplex for two. Back to Kofi who cranks on the arm a bit and the former champions hit a double Russian legsweep for two. Bryan sends Truth into the buckle with a drop toehold and it’s off to Kane with the top rope clothesline.

The low dropkick gets two on Truth and the sidewalk slam looks to set up the chokeslam, but Kane has to stop to look at Bryan who tries another blind tag. Kane tries to chokeslam him but Bryan guillotines him on the ropes. Little Jimmy gets two on Kane as Bryan saves his mistake. There’s the chokeslam to Truth but Bryan tags himself in for the NO Lock and the submission at 12:46.

Rating: C. This is another example of a match that isn’t so much good as it was entertaining. The arguing champions are still great and the division actually means something at this point which is more than they’ve been in years. I have no idea where this is going but it’s very entertaining.

Post match they fight AGAIN over who is the tag team champions. I can feel my old English teachers cringing at that line. Bryan wants to hug it out as Kane has both titles. They hug and Bryan steals a belt, leading to fight #5.

BE A STAR! FROM LAST MARCH!

Randy Orton vs. Tensai

Tensai powers him into the corner to start and elbows Orton down before working over the back in the corner. A powerslam gets two and it’s time for more face crushing. Time for a bearhug and then a nerve hold. Sweet goodness this is dull stuff. Orton finally hits a powerslam and the Elevated DDT and after the first attempt is countered, the RKO gets the pin at 6:00.

Rating: D. SWEET GOODNESS FIRE TENSAI ALREADY! The guy is not interesting at all and he’s dragging down every match he’s in. Orton had a great match last night but here we get this dull thing because we need to sit around and let Tensai use his slow and incredibly boring offense. The Japanese thing does nothing for him at all either. Just dreadful and Orton is better than this.

Otunga and Del Rio meet with Punk and Heyman with Harvard Boy saying he thinks Punk sleeps in a box on the street. Punk whispers to Heyman and Heyman says Del Rio should go back to Survivor Series last year where Punk beat him for the title.

Here’s Sandow to make fun of the commentary tonight. He has a list of vocabulary words that may help us for the upcoming school year. Sandow explains a few words before Ryder finally interrupts him. He has two words for Sandow: shut and up.

Zack Ryder vs. Damien Sandow

This is joined in progress with Sandow (in light purple tonight) controlling Ryder with a headlock on the mat. Ryder sends him to the floor and hits a plancha which gets two back in the ring. Sandow comes back with a knee to the ribs followed by a chinlock. A Russian legsweep sets up the wind up elbow for two. A rollup and small package get two each for Ryder and a facejam takes Sandow down.

Ryder hits a running forearm in the corner but Sandow heads to the floor before the Broski Boot can hit. Back in and Sandow runs into the knees in the corner. There’s the Boot but it only gets two. Not that it matters though as the double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 5:34.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here but at least Sandow had to go a bit longer in the ring. He and Ryder do seem like a natural pairing but I don’t know if I can see a full on feud between the two of them. At least it’s better than Sandow getting beaten up by Brodus all the time though. Not much here though.

John Cena/Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio/CM Punk

Punk holds up the title for a LONG time before the match starts. We come back from a break and the match STILL hasn’t started. Del Rio and Cena start although I didn’t hear a bell. Del Rio fires off some kicks to the legs but Cena comes back with a monkey flip and backdrop for two. Off to Sheamus who beats up Del Rio a bit more before it’s off to Punk. Cena comes in and immediately tries the AA but Punk bails to the floor where he wants time out.

Cena got thumbed in the eye somewhere in there and Punk stomps away on him. Off to Del Rio who works on the arm a bit. Cena finally gets in a shot and brings in Sheamus who hits the ten forearms in the ropes. White Noise hits and Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick. He has to stop to take out Punk though and Del Rio takes Sheamus down. Punk comes in and hooks a bow and arrow to take over.

Del Rio comes back in for a chinlock followed by the Blackout (it’s the running foot to the back to drive Sheamus into the mat. NXT Champion Seth Rollins uses it as a finisher) for two. Del Rio charges into the Irish Curse and both guys are down. Double tag brings in Punk vs. Cena with John starting his finishing sequence. The Shuffle is blocked but Cena counters into the STF. Alberto makes the save but Sheamus kicks Del Rio’s head off. The AA hits and gets the pin at 9:48 but Punk’s foot was on the ropes. The referee missed it and we have another messy call.

Rating: C. Standard main event tag match here with the ending being messed up to set up another match in the future, which we only kind of needed after last night. As long as Del Rio and Sheamus don’t have their fourth match on PPV I’m ok there, but I’m guessing we’ll get a challenger for him on Smackdown. The match was fine but it wasn’t the super match the announcers hyped it up as.

Punk yells at the referee post match and won’t let him leave. He follows the referee up the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot and if they didn’t have about an hour in the middle of it, the show would have been a great one. I’m REALLY excited about the idea of Ryback and Brodus having title feuds and the pushing of Sin Cara is a good sign too. We’re getting a significant amount of new people being pushed and that’s something that has been needed for a long time. Good show tonight and a good followup to the great PPV last night.

Results

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Epico/Primo – Swanton Bomb to Epico

Eve Torres b. Beth Phoenix – Rollup

Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater – Splash

Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag

Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel – Right Hand

Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – NO Lock to R-Truth

Randy Orton b. Tensai – RKO

Damien Sandow b. Zach Ryder – Double Arm Neckbreaker

John Cena/Sheamus b. CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio – AA to Punk

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: July 20, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s just after MITB and the only major change is that Ziggler is the MITB case holder for this show. Other than that we’re just in a holding pattern tonight as everything is likely to be shoved forward on Monday at the 1000th Raw. I’d be surprised if we found out anything about Summerslam tonight but it’s possible. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is currently Pandora charm bracelets.

Here’s the freshly returned Rey Mysterio to open things up. We’re in his hometown tonight so you know the pop is big. We get a quick recap of Alberto injuring him in this arena a year ago but now he’s back here with his family. He couldn’t wait for tonight to get back which is why he was there on Raw, and Alberto being there just made the whole thing sweeter.

Cue Alberto who calls Rey a chihuahua and says that Rey is back, only to get hurt again. Alberto says that he could hurt Rey all over again but instead he’ll just let Rey leave. Rey says no way so Alberto says whatever and starts talking about Sheamus. Rey says that at MITB, Sheamus beat up Del Rio. Del Rio says that he’ll be the next world champion, and here’s Ziggler.

Dolph talks about winning the case and about how he was going to cash in on Sunday which would make him the World Heavyweight Champion right now. Del Rio says that he’s loco and challenges Dolph for a fight right now, along with his burra (female donkey) Vickie. Rey says get it on right now but Dolph suggests he and Del Rio team up against Rey. Cue Sheamus and I think I know where this is going. Sheamus says that if Ziggler takes another step towards Rey, the briefcase is going up his trunk and he’ll drive Dolph into the Pacific Ocean. Del Rio runs so Ziggler gets an ax handle to the face and almost a 619.

After a break the tag match is announced. If you don’t know what I mean, go read something else.

Prime Time Players/Hunico/Camacho vs. Primo/Epico/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Hunico and Epico get things going with things moving very quickly. Hunico slams him face first into the mat but is quickly pulled down into an armbar. Off to Primo for a dropkick and more armbaring, this time on Camacho. A blind tag brings in Truth for some gyrations and a spinning legdrop. Everything breaks down and we take a break. Back with Kofi getting tagged in to beat on Camacho. The Boom Drop hits but Hunico breaks up Trouble in Paradise, allowing Camacho to hit a spinebuster on the flippy Jamaican.

Off to Hunico with a slingshot hilo for two. Titus comes in and slams Kofi down for two before hooking an abdominal stretch. Young comes in but Kofi takes him down with a shot to the face. Hot tag brings in Primo who cleans house. A spinning flip dive off the top takes down Darren and everything breaks down. Titus knocks Primo off the top into the gutbuster from Young for the pin at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. This was fine when you consider how many people were in it. The tag division is actually growing a bit here with four teams to fight each other which is a nice change of pace. Also it’s nice to see at least some of them on TV almost every week. This wasn’t a great match or anything but at least it’s better than nothing.

Big Show comes out post match and cleans house on everyone but the Players. He leaves them all laying with punches and chokeslams before asking for a mic. He says “and what” and leaves.

Jeremy Piven was on Raw once.

We get a LONG recap of Cena’s path to MITB and his promo on Monday, announcing that he’s cashing in at Raw 1000.

Don’t be a bully.

Damien Sandow vs. Zach Ryder

Sandow yells during Ryder’s entrance about how stupid it is so Ryder charges into the ring and it’s on. Ryder pounds him down but Sandow gets in a shot to the head and takes over. Sandow puts Ryder on the apron to drop an elbow as the fans cheer for Zach. Back in and Sandow fires in knees to the ribs, followed by the double arm neckbreaker for the pin at 1:25. Basically a squash.

Time for the Peep Show with Bryan and AJ as the guests. Christian talks about the situation and we get a clip of the proposal from Monday. Here are AJ and Bryan with AJ now in a Bryan top. There’s a ring now on her finger now too. Christian asks about the wedding planning and we get a video of the pair going to various places set to classical music. I miss little videos like this one. Christian asks if Bryan is serious and if AJ has forgiven Bryan for what he did, both of which receive a yes answer.

Christian asks the fans if they think this is true love or if AJ knows what she’s doing. The fans say no, so Christian asks AJ if she knows what she’s doing. That earns Christian a slap and the marriage participants go to leave, but Christian says hang on a sec. Apparently Bryan has a match tonight and it’s with AJ’s psycho ex-boyfriend.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

We start the match after a break so that the set can be cleared out. Bryan fires off some YES kicks but Kane knees him in the ribs to break that up. Kane kicks him down for two and puts on a bodyscissors. A backbreaker hits Bryan and Kane bends Bryan’s spine over the knee. Bryan finally gets up and does the backflip out of the corner before taking out Kane’s knee. Here are more kicks but Kane grabs him by the throat.

Chokeslam is broken up and there’s a BIG kick to the head for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into an uppercut for two. Side slam gets two for Kane and the big man goes up, only to jump into a YES Lock attempt. Kane escapes and they head to the floor with Kane accidentally knocking AJ over. Kane goes off on Bryan and sends him into the announce table. Back inside and Kane loads up the chokeslam but AJ jumps on him, drawing the DQ at 5:13.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this one by the end. The ending is annoying but there’s no need to have Bryan get a win before the wedding as that is likely going to end in chaos. These two have some chemistry together and it was here again, which is always a nice thing to see. AJ still being psycho is a good thing too as it’ll play into the wedding on Monday.

AJ stays on Kane’s back and rips at his face. Bryan charges at Kane but gets chokeslammed with AJ still on Kane’s back. AJ gets down in Kane’s face like she’s about to kiss him and gives him the freaky look. Kane looks confused and Bryan pulls AJ out to the floor. Bryan and AJ kiss on the stage.

Here’s Slater again and he has a new legend to face, which is the first time he’s done that on Smackdown. We get a quick video about Heath’s experiences against legends.

Heath Slater vs. Animal

Yes of the Road Warriors. Animal looks OLD. He isn’t fat but he has no muscle definition at all. The match runs 45 seconds and Animal wins with a powerslam and elbow drop.

Ricardo and Vickie are arguing in the back and Vickie screams a lot.

We run down the stuff for Raw 1000.

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio/Sheamus

During Dolph’s entrance we get a clip from Monday with the Codebreaker to Ziggler. Ziggler and Sheamus start things off and the champ runs him over with a shoulder block. Ziggler goes after Sheamus’ arm which I guess is still injured. Sheamus picks him up and hits a quick Regal Roll for two. The fans want Rey and here he is, hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. Rey is in a t-shirt here which is a different look for him.

Ziggler takes Rey’s head off with a clothesline for two and it’s off to Del Rio. Rey rolls away from Alberto and tags in Sheamus, sending Del Rio to the floor in fear. Ziggler gets caught in the ropes with the ten forearms and is sent to the floor. Sheamus goes out after him but gets dropkicked coming back in as we take a break. Back with Ziggler getting thrown off Sheamus and there’s the tag to Mysterio.

Rey kicks Dolph in the face for two and it’s 619 time. Del Rio kicks Mysterio in the back to break that up though and comes in with a chinlock. Back to Ziggler for some rope choking and an armbar. Alberto comes back in and works on the arm again but allows Rey to get close to a tag. That doesn’t connect though and Rey gets sent into the corner. Rey backdrops Del Rio to the floor but Ziggler comes in and breaks up the tag to Sheamus.

Ziggler picks up Rey but gets caught in a spinning DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and Del Rio comes in again. Sheamus cleans house on everyone, including sending Del Rio into Ziggler, knocking Ziggler into the announce table. White Noise takes down Del Rio but Ricardo breaks up the Brogue Kick for the DQ at 9:46 shown of 13:46.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, especially with an ending like that. That’s not much of a return to the ring for Rey as he never even got a hot tag. The ending was stupid too as it’s the second DQ ending in a big match we’ve had tonight. The match wasn’t even that good either as it was a slow paced version of the main event tag. Not horrible though.

Del Rio puts the Armbreaker on Sheamus again before leaving. Ziggler looks like he’s going to cash in but Rey breaks it up. Sheamus kicks Ziggler’s head off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being VERY generous. There was nothing tonight that means anything as Rey’s return was pretty much wasted and it looks like we’re getting more Del Rio vs. Sheamus. That would be fine if it was set up by something different. Instead, Del Rio is going after Sheamus’ arm AGAIN, because that’s how this feud is set up I guess. This show was worthless, but Monday should have a few things on it. Bad show this week and one of the worst in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Tonight we have a Raw World Title match on Smackdown for the first time in a few years as Punk defends against Kane. I’d assume that Bryan has gotten the title match for No Way Out but it’s hard to tell with this company anymore. Other than that we’ll probably have some more stuff with Big Show as he continues to take over the stories everywhere. It’ll also be interesting to see how they work around the Orton suspension. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the title match tonight. It looks more like a TV commercial than a normal opening video.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the weather tomorrow for my neighborhood yard sale.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show and we get a clip of him kicking Del Rio’s head off to end the show last week. Sheamus talks about how Del Rio has been waited on hand and foot for years, but it’s not going to matter at No Way Out because he can’t buy the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Otunga who again demands that Sheamus apologize for running over Ace. Sheamus says this isn’t Starbucks where you order someone around. If Ace wants an apology, he can come out here and get it himself. Otunga: “You may be the whitest bulb, but you’re not the brightest.”

Cue Del Rio who calls Sheamus a peasant and a street hooligan. People like Sheamus wind up working for people like Del Rio and Otunga. Otunga thinks Sheamus should be in a match tonight, with the opponent being chosen by Del Rio. The champ kicks Otunga’s head off and Del Rio runs. Sheamus says never trust a hooligan.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

No trampoline and he’s in red and white not instead of blue and gold. The lighting is back too. Slater grabs the arm to start but Cara grabs the arm and hits his spinning wrist drag. Out to the floor for a BIG dive but Slater jumps him coming back in. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights out and hits some kicks to the leg. A jumping back elbow puts Slater down as does an enziguri from the apron. The La Mistica mat slam gets the pin at 2:24. I didn’t see any botches here and Cara looked pretty good.

Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Sandow’s Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won’t be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I’m liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.

Del Rio and Ricardo are in the back when Ziggler comes in and asks to be put in the match tonight. Del Rio says okey dokey.

Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Alabama so the Louisiana fans HATE them, due to them saying Roll Tide. It’s the exact same match as last week with the double MuscleBuster getting the pin at 2:02.

Raw ReBound chronicles Show’s destruction. Apparently Brodus has a concussion and bruised ribs.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Ziggler cuts off Vickie’s intro and says tonight he beats the champion. He’s serious tonight. If the reaction is to be believed, Sheamus is getting verypopular. Ziggler tries a headlock to start but gets run over very quickly. He dropkicks the champ down and hooks an armbar which gets him nowhere at all. Ziggler punches Sheamus in the corner but gets sent to the apron. Top rope cross body is caught in a Regal Roll for two.

Sheamus launches him over the top and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus breaking a top wristlock. Dolph runs to the apron and has to grab the ring skirt to keep from getting a worse beating. He suckers Sheamus in and guillotines him on the top rope. Sheamus gets dropkicked off the apron and onto the floor for awhile. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring.

Off to the chinlock and Ziggler does the handstand. Booker: “That’s just showing off.” Now he’s getting it. Sheamus starts to fight up but gets caught in a DDT for two. Ziggler hooks an ugly sleeper but Sheamus dumps him onto the apron for the ten forearms. Irish Curse is countered twice so Sheamus uses a regular backbreaker (which Cole calls the Irish Curse anyway). He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets crotche. A top rope X Factor gets a close two and a good reaction from the crowd on the kickout. Zig Zag is countered and it’s White Noise, failed Swagger interference and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06 shown of 13:36.

Rating: C+. These two always have good chemistry together and they did again here. The ending is good too as it furthers the Ziggler split from Vickie and company, but it also keeps Sheamus looking just as strong because he had Ziggler beaten without the interference going wrong. Little things like that can make a match so much better.

Punk says he’ll beat up anyone that Ace throws at him, including Kane. Kane is going to sleep tonight.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

An inset promo says that O’Neil and Young want to be known as the Prime Time Players. Young and Santino get us going but it’s quickly off to Titus. Ryder comesin to break up a double team which gets him run over by Young. Then Santino gets a rollup out of nowhere on Young for the pin at 1:13. What in the world was the point of that? They spent the pre-match stuff and the match talking about how awesome Young and O’Neil were and then the ending comes from out of nowhere. Marella and Ryder had no offense at all other than the rollup. Literally, none.

Post match here’s Big Show to destroy everything. Make that just Ryder and Santino as Young and Titus escaped. Ryder tries to fight back but it gets him nowhere. The beating goes on for awhile. Show is in the same kind of stuff he was wearing before his turn. Santino gets put in a camel clutch on the steps on the stage before getting punched in the back of the head and knocked out. So in four days he’s been punched out and made to tap out in 45 seconds. Another champion is made to look like a joke.

We see Punk in the back but it’s actually AJ in a Punk shirt. Bryan pops up and asks why AJ thinks Punk cares about her. He pretends to care about her again and you can see her knees get weak. Bryan is only joking though.

Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd

Christian is on commentary and Kidd has full tights now. Kidd gets in a quick legsweep but Cody is too fired up for Kidd to be able to do much. Tyson keeps fighting and tries the Dungeon Lock but Cody shrugs it off and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:20.

Cody and Christian stare at each other a lot post match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Kane

They have a lot of time here. The announcers talk about how Kane hasn’t been champion in 14 years. Cole thankfully points out the mistake and reminds Booker of the Smackdown World Title that Kane won like a year and a half ago. Out to the floor and Punk drops a double ax off the top onto Kane to take over. Back in and the uppercut drops Punk, but he dropkicks Kane’s knee out to send him into the middle buckle.

Punk wraps Kane’s arm around the post and drops some elbows onto it as well. He works on it some more and hooks on a top wristlock. Kane throws him off and sends him tot he floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control but quickly getting knocked to the floor. Here’s AJ to check on the champion. Back in and Kane slams Punk and drops an elbow for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT but Punk can’t follow up.

Punk hits two knees in the corner but still can’t hit the bulldog. High Kick misses but the spinning neckbreaker gets two. Kane tries to slam him but Punk slips out and hits the High Kick for two. Punk tries the GTS but Kane falls on top of him. Low dropkick gets two. Top rope clothesline is countered by a dropkick and now it’s Punk going up.

AJ gets on the apron to try to get his attention. She’s pointing at Bryan who is coming to jump Punk. The champ dives on Bryan on the floor but that’s not a DQ. Punk kicks Kane from the apron and drops the Macho Elbow for two. Cole: “The championship almost left Punk there.” Punk goes up and jumps into the uppercut. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Bryan comes in and dropkicks both guys for the DQ at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: C+. For a TV main event this was fine. It’s pretty clear where they’re going for No Way Out so the ending here was fine. It sets up the likely triple threat title match at the PPV which needed to be done one way or another. They were going back and forth pretty well here and the arm work made sense from Punk. Pretty good little match here.

Bryan DESTROYS Punk with kicks but both guys get chokeslammed. Ace and Eve come out to make the triple threat match.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show for the most part. Nothing was really bad on it and they had something big in the main event, which is what Smackdown needs. It’s basically a supplement to Raw anymore so throwing a big match into the main event is the right idea. The show wasn’t great but with nothing bad and a main event that had something on the line, this was about as good as Smackdown is going to get at this point.

Results
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered

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Smackdown
Date: April 27, 2012
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T

It’s the last show before Extreme Rules and we’re minus a Josh Matthews here due to Lesnar killing him on Monday. We have a main event tonight of Sheamus vs. Mark Henry in a non-title match which is a rematch from Raw where Daniel Bryan cheated Sheamus with a fast count. Other than that I don’t think anything else has been announced. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is time, as I want it to be next Friday so I can see Avengers.

We see a clip of Josh’s attack from Monday.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He talks about cutting the cord and finally getting rid of AJ. He’s out here to set the record straight: the Wrestlemania loss to Sheamus doesn’t count and should go against AJ’s record, not his. Then on Monday he was asked to be guest referee in Sheamus vs. Henry. He said he’d call it right down the middle and he did. Some people are saying he fast counted Sheamus but here’s footage showing he didn’t. The count is shown in slow motion. We also get the post match attack and YES Lock.

Bryan says it’s time for a question and answer session. Did Henry beat Sheamus? YES. Did he make Sheamus tap out? YES (not that I remember). Will he get the title back on Sunday? YES. Cue Del Rio who asks a bunch of questions with Ricardo shouting SI after every one in a funny bit. Big Show comes out and wants to know if it’s YES or SI, which starts a chant. Show knocks Bryan to the floor and chokeslams Ricardo. Good chokeslam too.

Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is joined in progress after a break and I’m pretty sure is non-title. Show chops Del Rio in the corner and clubs him down with forearms. Del Rio is knocked to the floor but he drapes the arm over the ropes to take over. Show vs. Cody’s stipulation will be determined by a spin of the wheel. Show shrugs him off and spears him down. He loads up the chokeslam but Cody comes in for the DQ at 1:54.

Cody tries some weapons but Show knocks them away. He steals Cody’s belt and whips Cody with it a few times. Cody hasn’t gotten in a single successful attack or victory over Show at all since Wrestlemania.

Ace and Eve are in the back and he says that Eve can make whatever changes she thinks are good on Smackdown. Just run them by him first. Eve says she doesn’t know any of the crew people so maybe they should make them wear nametags. They run into Teddy who wants to know what his job is. Ace says Teddy reports directly to Eve, who tells him to go get a nametag.

We get a clip from the Divas Title match Monday where Nikki won it from Beth.

Damien Sandow talks about enlightenment. The fans aren’t enlightened as they worship people with nonsensical catchphrases and loud music. He debuts in a week.

Alicia Fox vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title again. The place just goes silent for this as you can hear the girls shouting at each other. Nikki throws Alicia and those hips around with a snapmare and it’s off to a modified chinlock. Alicia comes back with a one footed dropkick and basically falls off the middle rope for a back elbow. Twin Magic lets Brie hit a facejam for the pin at 1:48.

O’Neil and Young come up to Yoshi who I think they’re facing tonight. They make fun of Japanese people that put their hands together and bow while saying hai. They ask about Yoshi’s partner and imply he can’t speak English. Big Zeke comes up and says he’s the partner tonight. They sing a song about how Zeke is big and strong but doesn’t have any cuts. Where were these guys on NXT?

Teddy is now in a maid’s outfit over his suit and has a big nametag on his chest. Aksana comes in and he thanks her for sticking by him. She’s surprised he has grandchildren and here’s Ace who says Aksana’s favor has been granted: Antonio Cesar gets a tryout match tonight. If he wins, he gets a job. Eve had an idea that Aksana should be guest ring announcer. Oh and Teddy will have his own ringside commentary table to make sure we have three commentators and he starts next. Ace will tell him every word he says through a headset.

Ezekiel Jackson/Yoshi Tatsu vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Teddy is on commentary at a separate table but can’t talk unless Ace gives him the ok and the exact words in his ears. Young and Tatsu start in the corner and Young takes him down with a Hot Shot. Off to Titus as Cole berates Teddy. The heels beat on Tatsu with double teaming and on their own. Young dropkicks the knee out on Jackson while he’s on the apron and a REALLY bad modified Hart Attack out of the corner gets the pin on Yoshi at 1:50. Young missed Tatsu for the most part so it was more like a shove than a chop while Titus powerbombed him.

Here’s Cole in the ring and he brings out Orton for an interview. Cole asks about Orton’s match on Sunday and Orton says he likes to shoot first and ask questions later. He’ll be ready to do whatever it takes to beat Kane on Sunday. We get a video on their feud (long one too, like two minutes) and Orton says he can almost respect what Kane did because it’s something he’d do, but he won’t accept it. On Sunday, there are no rules so he can do whatever he wants. Kane is the devil’s favorite demon, but even the devil couldn’t so what Orton is going to do on Sunda.

Cue….Jinder Mahal? He thinks Orton and Kane will destroy each other and a new breed will emerge. Mahal says he’s better than Orton all around and that he’ll be waiting after Extreme Rules. Orton cuts him off and lays him out with an RKO. Are they really going with Mahal vs. Orton after this? Why? What has Mahal done to make them think he deserves that spot?

Kofi Kingston says don’t try this at home or school.

Tyson Kidd vs. Antonio Cesaro

Kidd doesn’t get an entrance. Cesaro’s music reminds me of Johnny B. Badd’s. Cesaro is of course Claudio Castagnoli. He has what looks like socks wrapped around his thighs. Booker: “Are those kneepads?” Cole: “No Booker. If they were kneepads they would be around his knees.” Cesaro uses a lot of power strikes and a gutwrench suplex to take Kidd over. He throws Kidd in the air and hits a European Uppercut on the way down. Cesaro sets for a cradle piledriver but falls forward ala DDP’s pancake move for the pin at 1:10.

Teddy has to go in and do something he doesn’t want to do post match. He raises Cesaro’s hand and then Cesaro kisses Aksana.

Long video on Lesnar vs. Cena, including clips from the sitdown interview and from Edge’s promo on Monday. Cena hasn’t said much in this.

Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes

This is as a result of the attack before the six man from last week. Cody is still sore from the whipping Show gave him earlier. Cody goes for the knee which doesn’t work at all. He manages to take Khali down and DDTs the knee before going up top. A missile dropkick puts Khali down for two. Back to the knee but Khali gets up and uses some clotheslines to take Cody down. Disaster Kick is caught in the Plunge….for the clean pin at 1:59. Oh good grief I’m not going to bother explaining how stupid this is.

Washington pitches to the tag champions some more and thinks Rosa should talk some more. He needs a decision by Monday though. Ryback comes up and glares at them and walks away. Washington tries to set up a meeting with him.

The Usos are watching in the back.

Jacob Kaye vs. Ryback

Kaye says that he’s not going to be another no name schnook. I like this guy already. He’s from Grand Rapids and has been trying to escape it for years now. Kaye charges at him and gets thrown down immediately. Ryback kicks his head off and chokes him with the boot. Gorilla press into a powerslam sets up the clothesline and the Muscle Buster gets the pin at 1:08. This guy is so much fun.

Video on AJ going crazy last week. She has no comment on anything but looks very evil. Kaitlyn comes up and tells Striker to leave her alone. Striker leaves and Kaitlyn tries to talk some sense into her so AJ slaps the taste out of her mouth. She immediately seems to regret it but Kaitlyn leaves. This is getting interested.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry overpowers him to start so Shemaus slows down a little bit. A headlock doesn’t work and Henry puts him down again. Sheamus goes to the knee and takes Henry down for two. He goes for the arm but Henry shoves him to the floor with ease. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder for two and we take a break. Back with Henry slamming the champ to take over.

Henry gets knocked to the apron and Sheamus hits the ten forearms which are getting cheered a lot better lately. Henry easily throws Sheamus down though and hits a HARD whip into the barricade. Back in for a quick nerve hold but Sheamus gets out. Henry hits something that looked like a crescent kick to put Sheamus down for two. Sheamus comes back with his double ax handles to the chest and down goes Henry.

A DDT gets two for the champion. He’s getting fired up now and starts to pound his chest and shouting Brogue. Probably due to shouting very loudly, Henry is able to run him over for two. A charge misses and Sheamus goes up but jumps over Henry. Brogue Kick takes Henry’s head off for the pin at 7:26 shown of 10:56.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from these two. Henry is the perfect foil for a guy like Sheamus as it looks impressive when Sheamus beats him but Henry’s power is good enough to give Sheamus a threat. Also it helps that Sheamus has a finisher that he can hit on anyone instead of a power move.

Bryan comes to the apron and Sheamus invites him down. Sheamus says this Sunday won’t be a fluke and there won’t be an AJ to blame. Will Sheamus kick Bryan’s head off and keep the title? YES! YES! YES! The chant ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show for the most part other than the Khali win. For the life of me is it a crime to make him look strong before a rematch? Anyway I liked a lot about this, including the push for the world title match and Ryback’s match, as he’s the more interesting version of someone like Tensai, minus the big win. Good show here and they pushed the PPV strong, which is the right idea.

Results
Big Show b. Albert Del Rio via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Nikki Bella b. Alicia Fox – Brie Bella pinned Fox after a facejam
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Yoshi Tatsu/Ezekiel Jackson – Double Team Powerbomb
Antonio Cesaro b. Tyson Kidd – Cradle Pancake
Great Khali b. Cody Rhodes – Punjabi Plunge
Ryback b. Jacob Kaye – Muscle Buster
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

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