Smackdown
Date: March 30, 2012
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

This is going to be a different kind of show. There were only a few matches taped on Monday and if this show is like last year’s, the majority of this show will be partially taped from Miami and Axxess. It’ll mostly be a big commercial for Wrestlemania with some wrestling thrown in on the side. That’s the same thing the shows all week have done and it’s really all they can do this week. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Louisville Cardinals. They’re evil and need to be destroyed.

As some of you probably know, usually I watch this show online on Friday afternoon so I can save time in the reviews. Well I did that today, and the show had no new matches and was a collection of old Mania matches. Apparently that’s totally different than what the US broadcast had so this is the second Smackdown I’ve done tonight.

Zack Ryder vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew starts off with a slam but Zack comes back with some speed and a dropkick. They go to the corner where Drew gets punched in the face. He manages to throw Zack up in the air and brings up a knee to take over. Off to an armbar now and Ryder is in trouble. A gutbuster puts Ryder down and Drew hooks a combination camel clutch/armbar. Ryder escapes but charges into a boot to put him right back down.

McIntyre does the go to the middle rope and jump off with the clear intention of jumping into the other guy’s raised boot spot. Ryder makes his comeback and hits the Broski Boot but walks into ANOTHER big boot for two. Zack escapes a powerbomb and Drew chases him into the corner but runs into a pair of knees. The Rough Ryder gets the pin at 5:38.

Rating: C. This was all you needed it to be. It covered both teams and hyped up the match a little bit. Not a great match or anything but it’s good to see Ryder getting clean wins, even over someone like McIntyre. I’m thinking Eve is going to play a role in the Mania match though, which isn’t a good thing.

We go to Miami where Lawler and Cole are on a set at Axxess. We see some of the stuff there, such as Undertaker’s Graveyard and the entrance you could walk down.

Video on Taker vs. HHH for the End of an Era.

Video on the Divas tag. I have no issue with looking at Maria Menunos. We’re never going to talk about Beth and Eve’s teased feud over Ryder again are we?

We see some of the art auction which goes to a children’s cancer center. Nothing wrong with that.

Recap of Punk vs. Jericho, I believe the same one from NXT.

Cole and King get in a flag waving contest.

We go back to Raw for the segment on Teddy vs. Johnny with the end of Otunga vs. Santino (they can’t show a full 90 second match?) which resulted in Miz joining Team Ace. We also get the Christian beatdown where he was put out of the match, and finally the Henry vs. Khali bit where Booker made the save for Teddy and joined the team.

Here’s Big Show in the ring to talk about his match on Sunday. He’s had some good success in this business. He won the world title in his first match and he’s won more since, but he doesn’t have a Wrestlemania moment. Wrestling in the main event for the world title isn’t a Wrestlemania moment? He says this is a bit different than most times he’s been at Mania. He can feel it in his mind, his gut and his heart. Cody is going to lose. Cody’s career isn’t going to get made. It’s going to get broken.

Video on Bryan vs. Sheamus.

Some legends weigh in on the Cell match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho grabs the arm to start and works a hammerlock. Kofi speeds things up and hits a jumping back elbow followed by a clothesline to send Jericho to the outside. Back inside Kofi tries a springboard but Jericho takes out the ropes to knock him down and we go to a break. Back with Jericho in control but Kofi grabs a rollup for two.

A knee to the head gets two for Jericho. Jericho misses the crotch to the back of Kofi’s head while Kofi is in 619 position (that really needs a name) and Kofi hits the SOS for two. Boom Drop hits but Chris avoids Trouble in Paradise. The top rope cross body gets two. Lionsault eats knees but Kofi’s kick is countered into the Liontamer for the tap at 11:12.

Rating: B. Pretty solid TV match here but the ending was never in doubt. There was no way Jericho was going to lose two days before a world title match at Wrestlemania. I wish Kofi didn’t have to do the job, especially when he’s in a big match on Sunday but when you have 12 people in one match, that’s hard to avoid. Good match though.

We get the Rock vs. Cena segment from Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very good final push for Wrestlemania. I get that a lot of people aren’t going to be fans of this and that’s ok. The wrestling we got was limited but fine, as there was no way they were going to run the risk of a bunch of injuries. I’m really surprised Jericho performed at all. Good final push for the show, as this was more about getting us fired up for Mania than a regular show.

Results
Zack Ryder b. Drew McIntyre – Rough Ryder
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Walls of Jericho

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You know, because there’s a lack of heel Divas in the company right? Well at least someone turns heel out of this.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Elimination Chamber which is the final major show before Wrestlemania. That being said, the Chamber is pretty much set and it appears that one way or another, Punk and Jericho will be feuding after the PPV. It should be interesting to see what the final push is here and if they add any other matches to the card beforehand. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of last week’s show where Kane got in Eve’s face. Kane says that tonight, Cena embraces the hate and someone takes a ride in the ambulance.

We open in the arena….with a debate. All six of the Raw guys in the Chamber are going to have a debate. Punk is asked how he thinks he’ll overcome the odds when he’s interrupted by Ace. Ace is back and that’s about it. As for the question, Punk says this debate will NOT end in violence. As for old snickleprints, aka Clown Shoes, congratulations for maintaining power. Punk thinks Ace must have something like beastiality pictures of the Board members to keep his job. He’ll win because he’s the best in the world.

Vickie asks for no booing and Dolph says he’s better than everyone. Truth says if he’s elected, he’ll trade Vickie and Dolph for Hornswoggle and a box of spiders. Ziggler: “HOW DO YOU WORK HERE???” Truth will also make it legally required to say WHAT after every line of the Pledge of Allegiance. Now back to the issue at hand, he’s going to stomp that box of spiders and make them into Spider Stew, which is high in protein and low in carbs. With Little Jimmy by his side, he’ll drink the stew which will make him strong enough to win the Chamber.

Miz gets to follow that. He says he was the main event of Wrestlemania last year. As for his opponents, Kofi is an afterthought, Truth is insane and should be replaced by Little Jimmy. Punk will melt faster than his ice cream bars. Ziggler has only scored with an old woman….and the buzzer rings before Miz can get to Jericho. He keeps talking and the buzzer keeps going.

Kofi says everything can change in one night and he’s tired of being an afterthought. We actually get a Kofi chant. Jericho says he’s surrounded by neophytes and that he’s the best in the world. He’s been in more Chambers and eliminated more people than anyone ever has. He won the last time he was in it too. Punk should just give him the title right now. Punk says he was thinking of the time when Jericho finished 7th on Dancing With The Stars.

Dolph goes off and says this is stupid. Truth says he won’t be talked down to by a man named after Flipper, and we get some dolphin sounds. Jerry says we’re getting all six of them in singles matches tonight, so let’s start with Jericho vs. Kofi. Jericho shoves his podium over and walks up to Punk. Punk holds up the title and Kofi kicks Jericho’s head off.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This starts after a break. Jericho is still shaken up so Kofi clotheslines him to the outside and hits a suicide dive. Jericho goes face first into the table and they head back in. Chris gets in some right hands and a senton backsplash for two. Off to a modified chinlock but Kofi comes back with a cross body. Jerry makes fun of Jericho’s statements that he came up with all those ideas. Kofi tries a springboard dropkick but lands in the Walls. He makes the ropes after a good while but pops up with Trouble in Paradise which gets a very delayed two. Jericho gets up and the Codebreaker ends this clean at 5:21.

Rating: B-. The match was good but I really don’t get the idea of having Kofi talk about becoming a bigger deal and then having him lose clean like this. Yeah he got in a lot of offense, but maybe they shouldn’t be having matches between six guys that you want to look strong going into a PPV match between them. Just a thought.

We get a clip from the Rumble with Ryder getting Tombstoned.

Cena is with Ryder in the back and Ryder is in a neckbrace and wheelchair. Ryder has flowers for Eve though because he can’t stay away from her. Cena offers to bring her here and keep watch.

Otunga says Ace isn’t the permanent GM but he has an idea to make him GM of both shows.

We recap Big show vs. Orton on Smackdown and get some post show bonus footage where Show chokeslammed Orton.

Here’s Bryan for commentary I believe.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

This also starts after a break. Show throws Orton around as the size is just too much for Randy. Orton is all shaken as we take a break. Back with Randy holding a sleeper. He jumps on Show’s back and Show goes down to one knee. Show breaks it up but walks into a great dropkick. Orton covers but is launched to the floor on the kickout. Show glares at Bryan who Cole has been complimenting all match.

Another dropkick drapes Show on the top rope and it’s a SUPER elevated DDT. Cole calls it extra vintage. How can it be vintage when it’s never happened before? Orton loads up the RKO and they horribly botch it with Orton never even leaving his feet. Show tries a chokeslam but Randy escapes and hits a good RKO as Bryan runs in for the DQ at 7:21.

Rating: C+. Better match here than Bryan and Show have been having lately. That’s not a knock on Bryan, but there’s only so much Show can sell for him without it getting ridiculous. The botched RKO was awful but the DDT was pretty cool. Bryan running in might as well have been plastered on a board, but this wasn’t terrible.

Bryan lays them both out with the belt post match.

Here’s Shawn for his big promo with HHH. Shawn talks about how people on Twitter ask him why he always shows up at this time of year. BECAUSE IT’S WRESTLEMANIA!!! He says he can’t be the Main Event anymore, but he can be Mr. Hall of Fame now.

Last week he was watching Raw (and yes he gets TV in the middle of nowhere place that he lives) and was waiting for HHH to say yes to Undertaker. Shawn heard him say no and then called Ace, saying he needed to talk to HHH. Then he thought HHH was just messing with the people and Undertaker. Shawn calls out HHH and even plays air guitar during the entrance.

Here’s the Game and they hug. They throw up an X as required by law. HHH says it’s great to see Shawn who has managed to stop hunting wabbits with Elmer Fudd. However, HHH isn’t going to face Taker at the PPV. Shawn saw Undertaker leave last year and HHH know he’d have to end Taker to beat him, and that’s not the guy he is anymore. Shawn says he’s stuck by HHH forever, even when he married that girl. Did that make HHH one of them, as in a corporate sellout?

The Game doesn’t like that. He says it’s called investing in the future. HHH says Shawn can’t understand it so they’re not having this argument here. Shawn says he’s a simple guy and it’s hard for him to understand this corporate stuff. However, he knows a coward when he sees one. No matter how much money you put around it, a coward is still a coward. The fans chant one more match and HHH leaves. Shawn says yeah walk away like a coward.

HHH freaks and comes back, saying Shawn can’t understand what’s going on. Shawn sits on his ranch with his wife and kids but HHH has real life responsibilities. All of this is going to be his and it means its his responsibility. You can’t look at Taker like an opponent because you can’t. Undertaker is a brand who is good for business. Their breed is gone and there’s a new one in town. Only Taker is left and HHH won’t be the one to end that era.

HHH goes nuclear on Shawn, saying that Shawn can’t push HHH to do what Shawn couldn’t get done. Shawn says that’s a great speech that would work on most people, but he’s at peace with where he’s at. HHH has no peace though. He needs to look Shawn in the eye and say he doesn’t want to end the Streak. HHH starts to walk away but Shawn pulls him back and says look him in the ey. There goes the jacket and Shawn puts the mic down. HHH looks him in the eye and says no. Shawn looks like he’s about to cry. He leaves and HHH stands alone in the ring.

He goes to leave…..and a gong sounds. We get another promo video from Taker saying this isn’t over. Taker’s hands are seen pulling out a nice and cutting his hair. He says keep your pity and give me what is mine: immortality. Back in the arena HHH pulls his tie off and we go to a break. WOW that was good.

R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph takes over to start and hits a dropkick. He struts around and does his handstand in the chinlock. There’s a slam and Ziggy does his situps. Truth however rolls him up for a pin at 2:35.

Santino comes to see Ryder and offers him a breath mint. This isn’t funny.

Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

The name change should help. Beth is on commentary for this and will defend the title on Sunday against Tamina. Brie takes over quickly but Tamina hits a jawbreaker to escape. Snuka hits Nikki and then a Samoan Drop to set up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 1:25. Just how I like my Divas matches: nice and short.

Video on The Rock. He’s a movie star you know.

We go to Cena for a reaction on that video but we hear a woman screaming. It’s Eve who is being thrown into the ambulance by Kane. Cena comes to her rescue but the door is locked. Kane gets back up and slams Cena into said door before getting into the driver’s seat. Cena manages to get up and open the door and Eve dives to him. Kane drives off and Eve kisses him. Cena asks what that was for. We pan over to Ryder who is STUNNED and wants to know what that was.

After a break Ryder is wheeling away and is sorry to see that happens. She just wants to be friends. Ryder is disgusted and wheels away.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Somehow it’s 10:48 already. This show has flown by and in a good way. Poor Zack is the #1 trending topic in the world. Miz takes over to start and works on the left arm. Reality Check is countered and Punk kicks Miz’s head off. Notice that Punk shakes the feeling back into his arm. That’s called selling and it’s a GOOD THING. Punk strikes away but the arm isn’t working right.

Miz pounds on the arm some more so Punk uses his right arm and legs. The knee and a right arm bulldog look to set up the GTS. Miz escapes into the short DDT for two and there’s the running clothesline in the corner. He comes off the top but Punk grabs a powerslam for two. The Macho Elbow (presumably) is broken up and Miz loads up a superplex. Punk comes back and hits the elbow for two. Miz pops up and tries the Finale but Punk reverses into the Anaconda Vice for the tap at 5:00.

Rating: C. This was a quick match but it wasn’t that bad at all. Miz kept moving and that’s the right idea. He’s not great in the ring but when he’s going fast enough and doesn’t have to be on offense all that much, he can be pretty entertaining. I’m not wild about him losing clean in five minutes, but whatever.

The ambulance is back.

Post break here’s Cena. He says there was an awkward moment back there and for what it’s worth Zack, he’s sorry. This was Kane’s plan all along: to turn everyone against him and make him embrace the hate. It’s a solid plan and it would have worked on anybody else. He’s not anybody else though. For some reason people think there’s an evil switch he can just turn on and off. The fans chant that they don’t hate him.

Cena says it’s been like six years and he’s comfortable in his own skin. Cena says he rises above hate and maybe they were chanting we all hate you. The people can think he’s a lady part having Fruity Pebbles guy, which draws a Fruity Pebbles chant. He says he’ll keep adapting and winning. This Sunday, Kane leaves in an ambulance. As for Dwayne (Rocky chant), Cena has a message for him for Wrestlemania.

Hold that though as here’s Ryder in the wheelchair. He gets up on his crutches and very slowly walks down to the ring. Cena tries to explain but Ryder knocks the mic out of his hands. Cena tries to explain again but Ryder slaps him. John takes the shirt off and the fans chant broken back. Ryder says Cena was never his friend and goes to hit Cena again.

Cena blocks it and pulls his own fist back but Ryder falls to the floor. Ryder says stay away from him and leaves. Cena didn’t hit him. Kane pops up on screen and says that Cena has embraced the hate. Sunday will be his last match until Mania because Cena will have his body leaving the WWE in an ambulance. Kane asks for a round of applause for Cena.

Kane then pops up behind Ryder and SHOVES HIM OFF THE STAGE IN HIS WHEELCHAIR! Cena panics and says get help which is there almost immediately. Eve comes out showing off some nice crack and is all worried. The fans chant for Cena for some reason. Ryder is taken out to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There isn’t much to fault in this show. This was almost all storyline but they were on fire with them tonight. The stories were interesting and we got some great moments like Ryder’s shock and awe over the kiss. I’m curious as to what they’re doing with him but they can’t have more bad stuff happen to him. Oh who am I kidding, of course they can. Great show tonight.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Codebreaker
Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler – Small Package
Tamina Snuka b. Brie Bella – Superfly Splash
CM Punk b. The Miz – Anaconda Vice

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Is there any reason for this? My take:

If you’ve read my review of the show, the answer seems to be that Ryder is the guy that got over on his own and that’s not what the company wants.  Unless this is a real injury, I don’t see any need for it.  He got put in the horrible storyline with Eve who does nothing but complain to Cena and look good in shorts.  Ryder has gone from the hottest thing in wrestling to a pawn in a Cena storyline to tide him over until Mania.  Think about that for a minute.

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2012
Location: US Airways Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s actual emotion from Ace, I’m kind of curious as to what happens tonight. The Rumble is in six days and they’ve seemingly only built up to the actual match on Smackdown. That being said, it’s the Royal Rumble so it’s not like it needs much build. It’s a 30 man battle royal with an obvious prize to the winner. That’s not hard to sell. Let’s get to it.

We open things up with the champ. He sits down in the ring and talks about how this Sunday is the Rumble and a big WWE Title match is on the card. Ziggler claims that he’s beaten Punk three times this month, and that’s because he has. Now granted, all of those had Ace helping him but he has indeed beaten him three times. Punk calls Ace a failure, which he knows is true after looking it up on Wikipedia.

We get a clip from the end of the show last week. Punk is a little worried about Ace promising to screw him. However, what exactly can Ace do with two broken arms? Punk calls him out but when there’s no GM, Punk says he’s going after him. Cue….Cena? Cena looks ticked off. He says he was sick of hearing Punk ramble. He’s out here for business, not to talk. Cena demands Ace is here in a few moments to atone for his sins with Ryder last week. Also he wants a match tonight with Kane before his match at the Rumble. Cena also says Ace will resign. Now that’s something new.

Cena looks at the ramp and Punk says Ace needs to be here because of the people. Cue Ace who talks about having days where we wish we could change things. Last week wasn’t one of those days though. Punk calls Ace down to the ring and it’s the whole “I don’t work for you” line from Ace. Ryder is cleared to compete tonight and gets Kane tonight in a falls count anywhere match. If Cena gets involved, Ryder will never get a US Title rematch. Ace makes the tag team match against Ziggler/Swagger and it starts RIGHT NOW.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. John Cena/CM Punk

The bad guys promise vengeance before the match. The bell is after a break. Ziggler vs. Cena gets us going. Punk is in long black shorts here which is a new look for him. Well technically as those are what he wore in ROH. Cena hits the running bulldog to start and here’s Punk. Ziggler bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with the starters and Ziggler speeding things up a bit and strutting.

Cena takes over and struts as well. Off to Swagger who takes it to the mat with a double chickenwing. Cena snaps off a suplex but Dolph makes the save with a dropkick. He drops a bunch of elbows and does the situps spot. Swagger Bomb gets two. Ace is texting or tweeting or whatever. Jack puts on a bearhug but Cena fires off an AA out of nowhere. Cena is so weakened though that he can only tag out.

Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline on Ziggy and he busts out his usual stuff. He sticks his tongue out like Jordan but the GTS is countered. High kick gets two as Swagger saves. Everything breaks down and Swagger gets the ankle lock on the floor but Cena reverses into the STF. Punk goes up but Ace distracts him. Punk threatens to him him and Ziggler rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 11:10.

Rating: C+. Decent main event style tag match here with them playing up the idea of Ziggler getting the title via a screwjob. Cena and Swagger were just kind of there really but they kind of had a story to them so it made sense. Not a great match or anything but it was better than most of the recent main event tags.

Punk says this changes nothing because on Sunday, Ace will screw him and Punk will beat him up. Punk says since Ace likes giving Ziggler presents, he’ll give Ace a chance. For one night only, Ace should be a superstar. Tonight: Punk vs. Ace. He accepts and the fans cheer.

Jericho will be in the Highlight Reel next.

We get a clip from Jericho walking out last week.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel. He’s officially in the Rumble according to Lawler. Jericho picks up the mic and asks for silence. Nothing said yet. He puts the mic up to his mouth twice but he has an idea. He gets out of the ring and runs up to the stage, asking for one second. Jericho goes into the back and comes back with a t-shirt cannon and ammo. He doesn’t shoot any shirts but steals the camera which we get shots from.

Back to the mic again and once more he asks for silence. He points at the Jeritron 5000 and we get the Millennium Countdown and a highlight package of his career, including winning the Undisputed title. The fans cheer once it’s over but there are some boos in there too. HE SPEAKS! I’ve never heard a bigger pop for the word “This Sunday at the Royal Rumble”. He says that this Sunday, it’s going to be the end of the world as you know it. And that’s it. The lights go out, the jacket goes on, and we go to a break.

We get a WWE Rewind from September with the Hugh Jackman show.

We now get one of my favorite things of the year: the It’s All About The Numbers promo for the Rumble. I love these things.

31 Hall of Famers in Rumbles
21 Wrestlemania main events for those Hall of Famers
695 participants in total
39 eliminations for Shawn Michaels, the most everything
35 eliminations for Kane, the second most all time
194,107 pounds total, or 430 Big Shows
421,883 fans have seen the Rumbles
62:12 is the record amount of time in the Rumble, set by Mysterio
3 wins for Austin, the record
2 seconds, as in the record held by Warlord for over 20 years
1 second, Santino’s record breaking mark
2 women in the Rumble
#1 is the entrant that has produced the same amount of entrants as #30
27 is the lucky number, with four winners
55% have gone on to win their Mania match, dating back to 1993

Ryder is with Eve when Foley comes up. He says Kane is an animal, but he’s just a human being. And Foley is serious bro. Eve is worried and tries to call it off. Cena pops up to a mixed reaction. He says he’s got Ryder’s back if needed but Ryder says stay out of it so Ryder can get his rematch. He’s not mean about it though.

Zack Ryder vs. Kane

Falls count anywhere so Ryder isn’t so thrilled. He still has bad ribs/back too. Ryder goes right for him which is better than he’s done lately. Kane kicks him off the apron where Ryder’s face slams into the table. His back goes into the post and there’s a slam outside. Ryder goes back first into the steps and this has been domination. Eve is at ringside now and this isn’t going to end well. Back into the table again and we take a break.

Back and the beating continues on the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two. Here’s the smother and the referee asks what Ryder says. Well they’re not paid for their intelligence. Out into the crowd now and they go up by the tech area. Ryder hasn’t has any offense in about 8 minutes. Oh wait there’s a shot with a metal case. This is no DQ apparently. Back to the ramp now and Kane kicks him in the ribs.

Ryder goes head first into the WWE logo and a piece of it breaks off. That only gets two and Kane isn’t sure what to do here. A headbutt puts Ryder down as the fans chant for Zack. A few punches by Ryder don’t get him anywhere. And Ryder is chokeslammed through the stage. Ok then. The match just ends. Kane goes after Eve but Cena comes out and Kane runs into the crowd. Match ran roughly ten minutes.

Rating: D. You know I’m really getting ticked off at how they’re treating Ryder. He might as well have been Barry Horowitz out here with how much offense he got in. The guy comes up with a brand new character, makes WWE a bunch of money they wouldn’t have gotten in merchandize sales, and has now been treated like a rag doll by Kane multiple times, making him look like any other guy. I can’t stand this company at times.

Back from a break and Ryder is put on a stretcher. He’s put in an ambulance and Eve, that whiny little pest, says this is all Cena’s fault. Josh Matthews picks NOW to put a mic in Cena’s face. Cena slaps it out of his hands and is very ticked off.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

This is their 5th match and Sheamus has never lost. There was a tag match in there too. Barrett, as in the guy Sheamus should be feuding with with no Mahal involved, comes out for commentary. There are the ten forearms. Mahal hits a running knee to the face to take over with a cobra clutch. Well kind of. It’s closer to a Tazmission. Screw it: it’s a chinlock. Sheamus gets up and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:10.

Rating: D. Sheamus is probably my current favorite wrestler but I have no interest in seeing him against Mahal ever again. I mean…we get it. Sheamus can destroy Mahal at will. It’s now just a challenge of how fast can he do it anymore. Why is Mahal even in this at all? Why isn’t it Sheamus vs. Barrett?

Anyway, Sheamus invites Barrett in but Barrett says no. Sheamus says he’ll win the Rumble.

Miz says that Truth will be repeating history because every partner he’s had has been destroyed. Truth comes up and says he’s a marketing analyst and declares Miz the #1 guy in being boring, uninteresting and making people ask What Else Is On. Truth also thinks his name is Fleischer. Ace comes up and breaks them up. The loser of the match is #1 in the Rumble.

Orton is back on Friday.

William Regal is on commentary for this next match due to his dancing on Friday.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Brodus is in a white suit now. I’m assuming Regal will be his first feud. Slater gets run over to start. Heath gets the first notable offense in against Clay: a dropkick. And never mind as Slater is run over, suplexed and What The Funk ends this in 55 seconds.

Rumble Moment: Taker wins from #30.

R-Truth vs. The Miz

The loser is #1 in the Rumble on Sunday. Cole says that two men have gone from #1 to win the Rumble. I’d LOVE to hear someone ask who those people are. This is much more of a brawl than a match. They go to the floor quickly and then back inside. Miz drops him on the floor and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting something for two.

Off to an abdominal stretch which Truth escapes. He starts his comeback with a nice rolling victory roll for two. Backslide gets two but Miz hits the Reality Check for two. He loads up the Finale but Truth rolls through it. Little Jimmy is countered and a short DDT gets two. And out of nowhere a Little Jimmy gets the pin at 8:13. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D+. These two just don’t have good chemistry together. I remember them having a match I believe the Fatal Fourway PPV a few years back and it was simply dreadful. These are guys that are far better on the mic than in the ring, which becomes a problem after awhile. Not horrible but pretty much just there.

We get a medical update on Ryder: he has a broken back. Oh geez they’re writing him off aren’t they. If this isn’t for a legit injury, I don’t think I’ll have ever been more annoyed.

Ace is warming up. It’s 10:54 and he’s in his office. Otunga pops up with a fax and says it can’t wait. Ace isn’t happy with it, whatever it says.

It’s 10:59, so let’s run down the card for Sunday!

CM Punk vs. John Laruinaitis

And there’s no Ace. Oh wait here he is and we hear about his resume from All Japan, said by name. Otunga is here too. Ace says he got a fax from the board of directors. Otunga reads it and it says the board is concerned about his activities as interim GM of Raw. His status as interim GM is officially under review. Next week he’ll get a formal job evaluation to determine if he keeps his job or is terminated. HHH is giving the job evaulation.

Punk is very happy and says that means he won’t get screwed. Ace calls it a wakeup call and says this is all a misunderstanding. Foley is in the Rumble and he was always going to call the title match down the middle. Punk calls Ace a little girl that gets everything all year long but at Christmas she’s afraid of getting coal. He wants Ace to be fired. Ace says that won’t happen. No match of course.

Otunga will be subbing so he jumps him. There was no bell. Punk takes him down and Vices him. Ace backs away and Punk has a mouse under his eye. There’s a high kick to Otunga and Ace backs off again. He offers a handshake but walks into a GTS. Ziggler runs in and gives him the Zig Zag to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t work at all and that’s because most of this was about taking out the new guy that got popular in a hurry on his own. I mean seriously, a broken back? If it’s as bad as it sounds, that’s probably what, back by April at the very best? Barring a legit injury, why in the world would you take away the second or third most popular guy on Raw? I hope there’s more to it than that, because if not then they’re idiots at a level even I didn’t expect. Bad show and I don’t think they realize the Rumble is Sunday.

Results
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. CM Punk/John Cena – Rollup to Punk with a handful of tights
Kane vs. Zack Ryder went to a no contest when Kane chokeslammed Ryder through the stage
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater – What The Funk
R-Truth b. The Miz – Little Jimmy

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2012
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s another Monday and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have no idea that the Rumble was less than two weeks away. Has any Raw guy mentioned being in the Rumble at all? We’ve had nothing but the Cena vs. Kane stuff with Ryder running scared. Ryder defends the US Title tonight and for some reason Perez Hilton is here. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is about Martin Luther King.

Let’s Burn It To The Ground.

Here’s Foley to open the show. He talks about enjoying being a non physical presence, including hosting This Is Your Life John Cena. However, his kids got to see him perform, (including being in the main event of Wrestlemania in this arena). He does have two other kids though, who haven’t seen him perform. Due to that, he’s entering the Rumble.

Cue Vickie and Ziggler. Ziggler yells at him about taking up a spot in the Rumble from someone else that could use it more. Foley says it might be a huge mistake but he’ll be there to win it. Ziggler talks about everything he’s done to get to this point in his career and how he can’t imagine facing someone fat like Foley at Mania for his world title. He tells Foley to go home, get a new shirt, eat a salad and go home.

Cue Punk who is glad to see Foley. Punk says that he and Foley are a lot alike in that they’re unconventional and don’t look like the rest of the WWE roster. He makes fun of Ziggler’s look and Ace in general. They get in an argument with Vickie and here’s Ace. He says he’ll be fair at the Rumble and says he’ll consider Foley in the Rumble. After about 2 seconds, he says no. Vickie laughs at him and that’s it.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom

Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There’s a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or WWE.com or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.

Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn’t very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it’s Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.

Ace is in the back when Otunga comes in. He hands Ace an envelope which isn’t spoken of again. Someone comes in and Ace puts him in the main event: a six man with Bryan/Punk vs. Otunga/Ziggler/Henry. It’s Jericho, who turns off the lights, turns on the jacket, and poses.

The envelope that Otunga handed Ace was a doctor’s update on Ryder. We go to the back where Ryder is with Eve. His ribs are all taped up. Josh comes up and they say that he’s in no condition to compete. He says he won’t forfeit the title and Eve says she’ll go with him.

We get a video from last week about Kane/Ryder/Cena and all that stuff.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

After a break Ace says that Ryder wasn’t medically cleared. And that’s it.

Great and no it’s Hilton time. He’s booed out of the freaking building. Thank you Anaheim.

Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox vs. Bella Twins

Perez breaks up Twin Magic and Kelly gets a rollup at 55 seconds. GET RID OF THIS DIVISION ALREADY.

Rumble moment: 92 with Flair’s marathon. Heenan’s reaction to Flair being #3 is left out here for no apparent reason.

Here’s Truth but before he can say anything cue Barrett. Barrett: “R-Truth…if that’s even your real name.” Ok that made me smile. Truth is officially in the Rumble and Foley isn’t. Truth says Barrett talks funny. The fans are allowed to WHAT him. Truth went to Disneyland this morning and it made him smile. He has a slideshow to show us. First of all he met Mickie and Minnie. And Donald Duck.

Then he met Pinocchio who said Barrett is winning the Rumble. The picture of Pinocchio’s nose grows. Truth: “I don’t even know if that’s PG.” Truth bashes Barrett when Miz jumps him. Sheamus makes the save. Cue Teddy who is here because….I have no idea. Let’s have an over the top rope challenge.

Sheamus vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

After the feuds pair off, everyone joins up to throw out Barrett. Truth and Sheamus get into it but Miz takes them both down. Sheamus “hits” three double axes (and by that I mean they missed by six inches each) and the forearms to the chest. Brogue Kick misses and Miz can’t knock him out. Sheamus tries to put him out but Truth throws them both out to win at 5:10.

Rating: D. The match was just there but the point was to remind people that the Rumble is actually happening. Not bad and nice to play up the anyone can win aspect. Barrett going out first like that was kind of surprising. Still though, it was nothing special, but it wasn’t really supposed to be.

Miz gets his head kicked off post match.

Cena comes in to yell at Ace who makes Cena vs. Kane for the PPV. Cena vs. Swagger is…next?

Jack Swagger vs. John Cena

Cena takes his head off before the bell even rings. Out to the floor and Cena keeps destroying him. The bell never rang and Cena beats the tar out of him. Let me guess: embrace the hate right? Cena sets to crush Swagger’s skull with the steps but cue Kane’s pyro and music. Kane pops up on the monitor and says Cena will have embraced the hate by the Rumble. You know, because Cena has NEVER been violent or aggressive before right? Give me a break. There was no match.

Here’s Brodus who has a new intro with I’m assuming his dancing chicks talking about how he’s the only Funkasaurus in captivity.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

JTG gets molested but he does manage to get in a punch. Brodus does his chatting during the match. Corner splash sets up the cross body and we’re done at 1:09. The finisher is called Funky. Ok then.

We recap Show running over AJ last week.

Here’s Bryan for an update on her. He runs down Big Show for what happened and says they were fake tears. Show should never show his face on Smackdown. Violence is threatened if he does appear. Bryan is dedicating his match Friday to AJ.

Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry/David Otunga

Punk vs. Ziggler gets us going. The champ takes over to start and a snap suplex gets two. Off to Bryan who might have tweeked his knee. Ziggler DDTs it and it’s off to Otunga. Bryan takes a beating but it’s off to Punk vs. Otunga. Notice that Jericho hasn’t been in there yet. Ziggy comes back in and stomps away on the champ. Punk gets in a shot and Jericho wants in but Ziggler stops it and it’s back to Otunga.

Naturally Punk beats him down, hits the Macho Elbow and it’s off to Jericho. Jericho plays to the crowd instead of going after Otunga though….and tags out to Bryan, walks up the ramp, and leaves. We take a break as no one is quite sure what’s going on. Back with Bryan in trouble and it’s off to Punk quickly. He hits the springboard clothesline but Henry comes in. Everything breaks down and Bryan pops Henry, but Mark screams at him. Bryan hobbles away and they fight up the aisle.

Ok so it’s 2-1 now more or less. Henry is beating Bryan up….and here’s Foley? The fans seemingly boo this out of the building but it’s hard to tell. Fameasser gets two on Punk. Punk gets in a kick and it’s off to Foley who gets a pop so I must have misunderstood the reaction earlier. He destroys Otunga and hits the running knee in the corner. Double arm DDT hits and it’s Socko! It gets the win at 14:43.

Rating: C. Well that was a mess. Foley and Punk are announced as the winners and I have no idea how you get to that conclusion. Either way, the match was a mess with a bunch of stuff with some wrestling thrown in. I really don’t get what they were going with here but it continues the working theme that nothing has much of a plan that I can see.

Ace comes out post match and reverses the decision. Punk gets in his face and says the reason Ace doesn’t like Punk is because Ace never was anything but a look. He was the brother of a Road Warrior but he was nothing more than roadkill. It kills Ace that he never made it to this level as a competitor. Punk swears he’s going to get cheated at the Rumble because Ace can’t stand that Punk is the champion. No matter what, Punk will still be better than Ace because the people will be talking about Ace for the first time, but it’ll be because Punk is going to destroy him. Punk fakes him out with a punch and calls Ace pathetic.

Punk leaves and Foley gets Ace a very funny double thumbs up. Ace is ticked off but we’re not done yet. He says he’ll be the future permanent GM of Raw and he won’t be intimidated by Punk. Foley says just admit that you’re going to screw Punk. He calls Ace a sycophant, which is New York Times bestsellerish for kiss-up. Ace wants to know who Foley thinks he is. He admits he’s going to screw Punk because he’s tired of being bullied because he’s not appreciated for putting on the best shows he can. He hits Foley with the mic

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show tonight. I’ve certainly seen worse, but the booking ticked me off. The whole US Title changing hands is stupid as they had Ryder get one of the most unique pushes ever and then he loses the title less than a month later? WHY? Anyway other than that (and the announcers being more excited about Perez Hilton than a title change), the show was just kind of there. They’ve barely built up to the Rumble at all which is pretty stupid, but hey it’s not like PPV means anything anymore right? It’s about TV ratings and that’s it it seems. The ending however helped the title scene A LOT.

Results
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered

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Yes WWE, let’s make sure that no one the fans decide gets a sustained push. Better put the title on a hand selected guy instead. Those fans don’t know what they’re talking about. He had one of the most unique rises up the card in years and they make him a coward who won’t throw a single punch at Kane after less than a month. This company REALLY makes me mad at times.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2012
Location: American Bank Center Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the week after HE IS HERE and Chris Jericho is back. That being said, I don’t know what to expect from him. Maybe he’ll actually say something this time? Either way, things almost have to be better than they were last week. We’re getting close to Rumble time too which is always interesting. Let’s get to it.

After a video of the ending of last week’s show, here’s Kane to open the show. He says people are wondering why he’s embracing hate, and it’s because the people are in denial. Everyone gets up next to a spouse they can’t stand and go to a job they hate and go home to children who are brats. Everyone has delusions of hope like Cena himself does.

Cena represents hope and success. The people should see Cena as unfulfilled hopes and dreams. The people are all liars when they cheer for Cena because they think cheering for an underdog makes them good. Look at Zack Ryder for example: The people made him a star because he’s an underdog. Last week Kane tried to drag Ryder to the depths but Cena stopped him. That just delayed the inevitable though, because Kane wants consequences.

Cue Cena and it’s a brawl immediately. A clothesline puts Kane outside and they brawl up the aisle. They fight into the back and they’re outside. They’re over a kind of pit which looks to be a few feet deep but you can see the bottom. There’s a production truck and Cena is knocked into some metal stuff next to it. He hits Kane in the leg with a pipe but is knocked into some boxes. He gets up and Kane is gone as we go to a break.

Sheamus/Santino Marella vs. Jinder Mahal/Wade Barrett

All four are officially in the Rumble. The non-main event guys start us off as Cole tries to explain to us what the turban is for because he’s a man of the world or something. Off to the Englishman who beats up the Canditalian who is waiting on the tag to the Irishman so he can hopefully beat up the Indian that he’s mad at. There’s the tag and Sheamus cleans house. Brogue Kick to Mahal and the Cobra gets the pin at 2:52. This was nothing, and Mahal continues to look like nothing compared to Sheamus.

Miz complains to Ace and Otunga about the Truth attacks lately. Brodus is debuting tonight apparently. Miz wants private security but Ace says he’s Big Johnny, not Little Jimmy.

We get a Hall of Fame inductee announced tonight.

The first inductee is…….Edge. We get a video about his career. There’s going to be a second inductee tonight as well. Cool.

Miz is trying to get a bodyguard in the form of Mason Ryan but he gets turned down.

Ryder is on the phone with his dad, talking about how afraid he is of Kane. Eve pops up and he says he’ll beat Kane up later. He’s off the phone and asks Eve for another date. She actually says yes but it’s after her match later. Both of them leave separately and a door opens behind Ryder. Kane pokes his head in and then goes back out as we go to a break.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Well this is a surprise. This was set up via a video on WWE.com where Kofi questioned Bryan’s methods of winning the world title. I hope they showed that to the live crowd. Bryan’s weight is up to 210lbs so maybe they’re back to faking weights. Kofi hits a springboard cross body for a fast two but Bryan rolls him up for the same. This is non-title if I didn’t mention that. Bryan does his corner moonsault so Kofi comes out of the corner with a cross body. In a SLICK counter, Bryan lands in the LeBell Lock and we’re done at 1:14.

Bryan does the big celebration again post match. And here’s Big Show. He gets in the ring and Bryan begs off, saying he hated the ending to the title match. The title is too important to end like that. He offers Show a title match anytime he wants. Show says Teddy agrees as well, so there’s going to be a title match on Friday, no DQ and no count-outs. Oh dear. They shake hands and Show leaves.

Royal Rumble Moment is the end of 1994 with the double winners.

Justin Roberts introduces Brodus Clay as being from the Planet Funk and being the Funk-o-Saurus. He has dancers and is coming out to ERNEST MILLER’S WWE music. WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING??? He’s DANCING! I swear I’m not making this up. He’s in a red track suit and has a red hat on.

Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins

Total squash and he dances a lot. A cross body ends this in 65 seconds. This is BIZARRE.

Zack Ryder is brushing his teeth and looking in a mirror. He keeps thinking someone is watching him and leavesl.

Miz tries to get Rosa and Epico/Primo to protect him. They say no and leave but Punk pops up to NO reaction.

They go to a break here and thank goodness. I need a minute after what I just saw with Brodus.

Jack Swagger vs. CM Punk

Ace comes out and says that if Punk wins, Swagger and Vickie are barred from ringside at the Rumble. Ziggler tonight has to fight Cena to keep things fair. Feeling out process to start with Punk working a headlock but Swagger taking it to the mat. Punk goes up for the elbow so Jack hits the floor. Swagger takes over with his size advantage and hooks a quickly countered ankle lock. Off to a double chicken wing kind of hold and then a waistlock. Swagger is knocked to the floor and a suicide dive takes him out as we go to a break.

Back with Punk starting his comeback. He fires off some strikes and hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is thrown off and the Vader Bomb gets two. Another attempt at a Bomb is countered but Swagger takes over again quickly. He loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off for a top rope elbow….for the pin? I thought he kicked out but apparently not as Punk gets the pin at 13:57.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here despite what the referee shows was a bad call at the end. Not sure if that’ll play into the Ace as referee thing or not but it could have been an honest mistake. I mean it’s not like Swagger was going to win either way. Decent match and while I think Swagger should go face, he’ll be ok as a jobber to the stars like this.

Replay shows that it was a bad call and Cole freaks.

We see the ending of the Cena vs. Kane fight earlier.

Cena and Ryder are in the back talking and Ryder thanks Cena for everything he’s done for him.

The Bellas are talking in the back when Ricardo pops up. They brought him all the way from Mexico to give Del Rio a message. Miz interrupts them and says Ricardo is going to draw out R-Truth by insulting him. Ricardo says no but Miz threatens him.

The second HOF inductee: It’s still not Savage, but it’s THE FOUR HORSEMEN!!!

Here’s Ricardo to insult Truth but he’s very nervous to do so. He says that Truth’s breath smells like a rotten burrito and that’s enough to draw Truth out. Truth doesn’t know why Ricardo would want to pick a fight with him. Even Little Jimmy thinks he’s a good R-Truth now. He asks Little Jimmy if he should let Ricardo go. Apparently Jimmy doesn’t like Ricardo so Truth should turn Ricardo into a human pinata.

Ricardo freaks out so Truth asks for a song. La Cucaracha in fact. Ricardo gets WAY into this and even says this is a remix halfway though. Truth asks him to do it again and Ricardo knocks the mic out of his hand. Ricardo takes a Little Jimmy and here’s Miz for the beatdown.

Jericho time. He gets an entrance from Roberts and does the same entrance that he did last week. He’s doing the same thing he did last week with the whole running around the ring. No mic that I can see. Oh now he has one and the music ends. He poses on the corner and hasn’t talked yet. The mic is to his chest….(this is high drama stuff people) and he looks like he’s about to cry. He takes a minute to compose himself…..and is now crying. The music comes on and he walks out, still not saying anything.

Another Rumble Moment: 98, Austin wins.

Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve has new music I think. It’s 10:51 before Beth comes out so they’re going to have to blaze through this. And never mind because here’s Kane. Since women in wrestling are idiots, Eve gets out of the ring and STANDS THERE. Ryder runs out to save her and they run off to the side of the tron. No match.

We cut to the back and Ryder throws her into a car. The tire is flat though, so Ryder CHANGES THE TIRE. We take a break as Pep Boy #4 keeps at it.

Ryder defends against Swagger next week.

Ryder is still changing the tire when we get back. Call AAA dude. I’m sure they have some luchadores that could help you.

John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for Dolph and the bell rings at 10:59. Ziggler starts fast and hits a quick Fameasser for two. Off to a chinlock and Ziggler does a headstand while holding it. Cole: “You couldn’t do that King.” Lawler: “Why would I want to?” Good question. Ziggler drops some elbows and does the situps. Cena starts his comeback and we cut to the back where Ryder is STILL changing the tire.

Kane finally comes to attack him and Ziggler throws on a sleeper. We cut to the back again and Kane chokeslams him into the pit I mentioned at the beginning of the show. Ziggler puts on another sleeper but Cena hits an AA to escape. He goes to the back and I guess the match is thrown out at about 5:00. I’m not going to rate it due to the match just being a placeholder for the angle. It was nothing of note anyway.

Cena gets out there and Kane jumps him. He smothers Cena down again and Ryder is just laying on the wooden pallet he was chokeslammed onto. Cena is left laying too. Kane stands very tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very different kind of show but I was liking it a lot. Things were a lot more comedy based than they were last week and it was certainly a more memorable show. The wrestling was just ok but they played things up as over the top and overly dramatic tonight and I thought it made for a much better show. Also the HOF stuff is a nice touch so few complaints here, other than the lack of in ring action.

Results
Sheamus/Santino Marella b. Wade Barrett/Jinder Mahal – Cobra to Mahal
Daniel Bryan b. Kofi Kingston – LeBell Lock
Brodus Clay b. Curt Hawkins – Cross Body
CM Punk b. Jack Swagger – Top Rope Elbow Drop
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest

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As in something you didn’t see coming.I have to go with Zack Ryder’s rise.  I mean….HE’S ZACK RYDER.  Who would have predicted that he would be US Champion as a huge face at the end of the year?  I’ll go with this as my main argument for him: the end of Survivor Series, as in after the PPV went off the air, saw Rock standing in the middle of the ring in Madison Square Garden.  The fans chanted We Want Ryder.  Let that sink in for awhile.

Thoughts/Picks?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re into that limbo period between TLC and the Rumble. There are six Raws before the PPV and based on that, there are usually multiple shows where not much happens. I’d expect the next two to be that way, especially with Christmas coming up. These are usually throwaway shows and that’s ok, especially given how much they had happen last night. Let’s get to it.

Let’s Burn it to the Ground.

We open with the lights off and almost everything dark. Punk starts talking and says that we’re live in the entertainment capital of….this state, and here are the results of TLC. Since Johnny Ace is the least creative middle man in the history of management, here’s the result of TLC. First of all, who won the TLC main event? The three options are shown and Punk says it was him, the best wrestler in the world.

Here’s Punk who looks very happy. He talks about being banged up and sore but he’s the champion. This is a title that a lot of people never thought he would win. That brings him to the next match from last night: the US Title match. He does the who won thing again and brings out Ryder, who is WAY over in Philadelphia. Think about that. He’s insanely over in Philadelphia, just like he was in MSG.

Now let’s talk about the big one. There was a chairs match, but the man that walked out with the title wasn’t one of the people originally in it. The World Heavyweight Champion, is Daniel Bryan. They all stand in the ring with their new titles and it’s quite a visual. Punk talks about how if any city would appreciate this, it’s Philadelphia. The fans chant ECW and Punk mentions how awesome it is that two guys like Bryan and Punk who met ten years ago down the street would be here in this ring as world champions.

Punk says this isn’t about him but rather about those two. They’ve broken their backs for wrestling and the people have brought them to this level. Let’s hear from the new champions. Ryder says he called his dad this morning and asked if he really was champion. His dad’s response: “WOO WOO WOO! You know it!” Bryan says there are people like Cole that says he didn’t belong here, but now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

Bryan gets cut off because Miz, Ziggler and Del Rio all come out and head to the ring. The champions hold them off until Ryder hits a flip dive onto Ziggler. He goes into the barricade so the world champs go after Miz and Del Rio. Ace cuts them off and the champs go check on Ryder who is holding his shoulder. Ace makes a six man tag for the main event. No stipulations are announced.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Orton won a tables match last night. They slug it out to start and head to the floor pretty quickly. Barrett takes over and rams Orton into the post and drapes him over the barricade as we take a break. Back with Barrett kicking Orton in the face to send him outside. Orton is looking less orange tonight. He starts his comeback and hits the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered as is the Wasteland. Backbreaker sets up the DDT but Barrett pokes him in the eye afterwards….for a DQ at 8:00? Seriously? A THUMB TO THE EYE GETS A DQ NOW???

Rating: D+. They were kind of going through the motions until the ending here which is ok because I like Barrett’s in ring style, but the rest of the match was pretty boring. The ending was rather stupid but it continues the feud and lets us have another match here, which Barrett could win and move on to a match with Bryan at the Rumble.

Post match Barrett beats Orton up with the Bossman Slam (now called Winds of Change) and a Wasteland through a table.

We recap HHH vs. Nash last night. Nash is going to be out for six weeks, which will put him right in line for the Rumble right?

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title here I think. Alicia is trending worldwide, reverse DDT, flipping legdrop, Alicia pins her 100% clean in 48 seconds.

Alicia wishes everyone a foxy holiday.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

Why is this match still happening? Mahal hasn’t had a chance against him yet and we’re seeing this again? He takes over to start and hits some strikes to the head, be they either a knee or a dropkick. Sheamus wakes up and hits the Irish Curse and Celtic Cross for the pin at 1:57. Did anyone expect anything else?

Here’s Cena to address what happened last week. Naturally he’s loathed here in Philly. He says that what he’s about to say is shocking. If you have a medical condition, you need to cover your ears. He thinks there are some people that don’t like him. Some of them aren’t here (like Rock, who he’ll be ready for in April) but one of them is a monster on the loose who has issues with Christmas and the dentist.

Cena hopes that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If that’s the case, things move on and he won’t be going after Kane. If that’s not the case, they have some business and let’s settle it right now. Instead cue Henry who is badly limping. He says that if it wasn’t for Kane, Cena would be the new member of the Hall of Pain. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate. He says he’s not in the mood for jokes after losing the title last night. Henry is here to address why he lost and he’d recommend that Cena leaves now.

Now cue Kane’s pyro but the lights go out. There’s organ music and here he comes, complete with the welder’s mask. Henry has bailed and Kane circles the ring to look at him. Then he turns to look at Cena. Kane takes the mask off and has the red one on as he gets in the ring. Cena immediately hammers him down and clotheslines him over the ropes.

Kane lands on his feet and pulls Cena to the floor. He puts Cena on the table and puts his hand over Cena’s face and smothers him. I think Cena bit his lip because it looks like he’s bleeding from the mouth. Kane rips the shirt off Cena (it was cut at the top earlier) and leaves with it. Cena looks terrified.

Primo/Epico vs. Usos

We get the Siva Tao and Rosa dancing. My night is complete. Primo starts with let’s say Jey. The heels take over and I’d really rather just look at Rosa in those tiny shorts. Air Boom is watching in the back as Epico beats up Jey. Hot tag to Jimmy who hits a Bubba Bomb and the running Umaga (NOT RIKISHI) shot in the corner. And then the Backstabber ends him at 2:56. Too short to rate but it was pretty much the same thing from Smackdown.

Cody says the Rumble ad wasn’t as ridiculous as Booker thinking he could win the title. Santino pops up with a gift for him but Cody doesn’t want it. The Cobra pops out of it, as in the one on Santino’s arm.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title again. Santino does some martial arts stuff and gets punched in the face. Santino gets in a few shots but shouting COBRA seems to be a bad idea as he walks into an Alabama Slam for the pin at 1:28.

Here’s Nickelback’s performance from Tribute to the Troops.

The Bellas hit on Ace and get in an argument over who is a floozy. They rant about Teddy and Ace says the board is watching him. He wishes them a Merry Christmas and they kiss him on the cheek then leave. Vickie barges in and demands a rematch for Ziggler. Horny pops in with mistletoe and kisses her, prompting lots of screaming.

We get an interview off WWE.com with Ryder and his dad after the show. That win really was a cool moment.

Big Show says he had it last night and it lasted 45 seconds. It took him 9 years to get there and he’s speechless. It’s his fault though because he encouraged Bryan to cash in a few weeks ago. Show looks like he wants to kill someone but is smiling most of the time. Josh eggs him on and says that Show is going to probably have the record for shortest world title reign in history and he’ll probably hold that forever. Show looks down at him and for some reason I’m cracking up at it. He shakes his head, says he’s ok, and walks away.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder/Daniel Bryan/CM Punk

During Alberto’s entrance, the Second Coming video happens again. The word this time is prophetless. Is that even a word? Ryder comes in through the crowd. You can tell the Philly fans like him as they don’t mug him. Bryan does the same, as does Punk. How much nicer it is just to change ANYTHING a little bit. It can really make a huge difference. Punk vs. Miz gets us going. Bryan got by far the weakest reaction of all three faces if you’re curious.

Ziggler comes in and takes the surfboard knee stomp. Off to Ziggler who gets a Woo chant. Del Rio misses a charge and all three heels are outside. Bryan teases a suicide dive so that Ryder can hit his flip dive. Bryan takes out Ziggler with a knee from the apron and Punk dives off the top. The champs rule the ring (Punk takes a bow) as we take a break. Back with Bryan kicking Miz but getting caught in a DDT for two.

The heels beat on Bryan for awhile as we hit the main event formula for a tag match. Del Rio works on the arm and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Bryan gets his knees up and it’s hot tag to Ryder. The Broski Boot puts Ziggler down for two but he gets caught in a Miz chinlock. He backdrops Del Rio to the floor and it’s double tag to Miz and Punk. Macho Elbow of course gets an eruption in an old WWF town like Philly. Anaconda Vice goes on but Dolph makes the save. Another double tag brings in Del Rio and Miz and it breaks down quickly. GTS to Miz and Cole is losing it. The LeBell Lock ends Del Rio at 13:12.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag and this was fine. The whole point of this was to have some fun and let the new champions get their win on their first night with their titles. That’s perfectly fine and this wasn’t supposed to be anything big and epic. There’s nothing wrong with that and the match worked fine for what it was.

Big celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here. This was one of those throwaway shows I was talking about in the intro. It wasn’t bad or anything, but this was just a placeholder until we get to the new year and start the Rumble build. They did this for the last few years and that’s fine. The triple champion focus was a nice touch and it’s very refreshing to see them just mix things up a little bit. Fun show, although not very good from a quality standpoint.

Results
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett poked Orton in the eye
Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix – Flipping legdrop
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Celtic Cross
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jey
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Alabama Slam
CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/Zack Ryder b. The Miz/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio – LeBell Lock to Del Rio

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