Wrestler of the Day – December 19: Luna Vachon

Today we’re looking at a non-traditional Diva: Luna Vachon.

Vachon, daughter of the legendary Butcher Vachon and niece of Mad Dog Vachon, got started in 1985, meaning we’ll pick things up in 1986 at AWA Wrestlerock.

Women’s Battle Royal

There are ten girls in this and only three mean anything: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon (didn’t mean anything yet) and Candi Divine, who was awful but was popular in the AWA. She’s also Women’s Champion here. I have no idea who most of these women are. They’re blondes in spandex. Someone is thrown out and I can’t hear Capetta, nor do I particularly care to know.

Trongard and Capetta keep calling Luna Leona by mistake. Or by lack of intelligence, I’m not sure which. Two more go out but they’re not important enough to announce. Somehow we got down to six. Luna (NOT LEONA) is gone. I think a Greek chick powerbombs Divine but it’s not important enough to talk about. The Greek chick is out and we’re down to Martel, Debbie Combs, Candi Divine and some chick that Trongard doesn’t bother naming. Divine misses a charge and we’re down to three. Her name is Joyce Grable. Ok then. Martel is knocked under the ropes, Combs throws out Grable and Martel sneaks in to steal the win.

Rating: F. I didn’t know half of the names in this. That should tell you everything you need to know.

And another one at SuperClash III.

Lingerie Battle Royal

Pali the Syrian Terrorist, Luna Vachon, Nina, Pocahontas, Malibu, Brandi Mae, Laurie Lynn, Peggy Lee Leather, Bambi

This is a Beverly Hills Street Fight Battle Royal. You can win by over the top rope or ripping clothes off so it’s more like a bra and panties battle royal. Other than Nina (Ivory) and Luna, none of these girls ever meant anything. This is a POWW match and David McLane is on commentary here and sounds so horny he makes Lawler sound like a nun. The winner gets ten grand as well. The girls start in regular clothes and are as gimmicked as you could imagine. In short, the girl named Leather wears leather etc.

What exactly do you want me to say here? It’s a lingerie battle royal with a total of 2/9 girls being known names. Nina vs. the Terrorist is the main rivalry here. Lynn is out. Various amounts of clothes are torn off and this is really boring. Apparently this started with a pair of jeans being torn up. Pocahontas is gone.

Nina is also and we’re down to five. This is awful by the way. A loud TAKE IT OFF chant starts up. Peggy and Bambi are out, leaving us with Brandi, Luna and the Terrorist. Luna takes a bump from the top (called the third rope by McLane) and we’re down to the two that started this. After far too long, the Terrorist wins.

Rating: F. Just horrible here on all levels and an embarrassment to say the least. McLane is considered scum in wrestling and I can’t say I really disagree based on what I’ve seen from them. This was totally horrible and makes the Divas today look like Thesz vs. Gagne or something like that. Think about that for a minute.

After several years in the indies, various women’s promotions and as a manager, Luna would appear in the WWF as Bam Bam Bigelow’s girlfriend and sometimes tag partner, including here at Wrestlemania X.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Bigelow runs over Doink to start with a clothesline and a dropkick to silence the crowd. A headbutt misses though and the Clown pounds away a bit. Bigelow misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in as well. This is your usual “comedy” but Luna does hit a running hip attack in 619 position but Dink starts running around in circles. The small clown goes up top but misses a dive.

Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.

Rating: D. This was bad but not completely terrible. Doink wasn’t doing his stupid comedy and thankfully Bigelow didn’t have to look all that stupid, which is the worst thing they could have done. The match wasn’t much but to be fair they needed something to give the crowd a breather after the awesome opener. This wasn’t horrible.

Luna wound up in WCW in 1997, setting up this match at Slamboree 1997.

Madusa vs. Luna Vachon

This is the fallout from last month. Luna is billed from the Other Side of Darkness. Lee Marshall is brought in as a women’s wrestling expert here. Luna takes her down to start and chokes a lot. Madusa tries to throw punches but gets beaten down again. Marshall talks about Martina Navartilova as Madusa kicks Luna’s head off with a SWEET spin kick. Luna comes back with a stomach claw which that schnook Marshall calls scandalous. Madusa hits something like a Stinger Splash and screams a lot. Clothesline gets two. Luna manages a thumb in the eye, misses a top rope splash, and gets German suplexed for the pin.

Rating: D-. Nothing at all to see here as neither girl cared and none of the fans cared either. Bad match and there was nothing going on. The division didn’t exist but we got this stuff every now and then so that WCW could claim they had women’s wrestlers. Bad match but Madusa is kind of cute at times.

It was back to the WWF for Luna’s longest in ring run, starting at Wrestlemania XIV.

The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon vs. Marc Mero/Sable

The guys start things off with Mero hitting a fast headscissors and a clothesline. Off to the women folk but Luna wants to fight Mero. She gets Sable instead and Luna runs away instead of fighting. We get a lap around the ring and the men come back in before we get any contact. Goldie gets backdropped by Mero and kicked in the ribs by Sable for good measure. Luna won’t tag in so it’s back to Mero so that the genitals match.

Mero pounds away on Goldust in the corner but gets clotheslined down to change control. A quick cross body gets two for Marc but Goldust hits an uppercut to put him right back down. The fans chant for Sable as the men collide. A double tag brings in the girls and Sable spears Luna down. She pounds away and kicks Luna in the corner before bealing her across the ring.

Sable pounds on Goldust as well but it’s back to Mero who doesn’t fare as well. With Sable trying to get back in, Mero hits Goldust low but can’t hit the TKO. Instead Goldust counters into a DDT for two but he can’t hook the Curtain Call. Mero hits a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Goldust goes up but gets crotched, setting up a top rope rana by Mero for two.

Marc threatens to hit Luna and ducks just in time to make the heels collide. The TKO on Goldust gets two more as Luna makes the save. Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust but has to avoid a splash from Luna. A Sable Bomb gets two on Luna and she’s back up in seconds. Not that it matters as the TKO (it’s a cutter out of a fireman’s carry) from Sable ends Luna a few seconds later.

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting it to be. The saddest part of this match though was what happened after: in the back Sable had praise heaped onto her while Luna was basically ignored. Sable could barely do anything in the ring while Luna was a seasoned veteran who received no credit for her work with Sable. Only Owen Hart congratulated her on her success. That’s rather sad when you think about it.

From eight days later on Raw, April 6, 1998.

Luna vs. Matt Knowles

Knowles is semi-famous for his time as HC Loc from the very old days of ROH. Goldust beats the tiny man up and Luna gets a top rope headbutt for the pin in like 30 seconds.

This set up the showdown with Sable at In Your House XXI.

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

This is the first evening gown match, meaning they start in gowns and the first to be stripped to their underwear loses. They walk around very slowly with both girls losing a sleeve each. Luna, an actual wrestler, drives in some shoulders in the corner before ripping off Sable’s skirt. Lawler is thrilled and Sable charges at Luna to take over. Mero comes out to yell at Sable, allowing Luna to strip the rest of Sable’s dress off for the win. There wasn’t enough to rate here but this wasn’t wrestling anyway.

Luna stuck around for once, including this match on Raw, August 10, 1998.

Luna vs. Jacqueline

Luna slams Jackie into the mat to start and Sable takes Mero down on the floor. Kurrgan glares Mero down when he comes after Sable and the match grinds to a halt. Jackie goes up top but gets crotched. A neckbreaker puts Jackie down and Luna goes up for a splash. Her hip kind of almost hits Jackie‘s face but it gets the pin anyway. What a mess.

Another Raw on January 11, 1999.

Gillberg vs. Luna Vachon

Gillberg misses a spear, gets his eyes raked across the top rope, has his Jackhammer countered into a cross body, and is pinned by Luna in about thirty seconds.

Here’s another showdown with Sable at Royal Rumble 1999.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Scratch that ring announcer line as apparently he’s here to accept Sable’s forfeiture of the title. This was supposed to be a strap match which had a total of 18 seconds of build on Raw. That’s not an exaggeration either. They came out during another match and that was the only mention. Luna attacked Sable on Heat before the show tonight and injured the champ’s back, but Sable wants to fight anyway.

This is the four corners variety so Sable can look TOUGH here. Sable shoves her into the corner and whips Luna to the floor. She keeps whipping Luna and gets three corners but Luna makes the stop. We get more choking and whipping before Luna drags Sable around with both of them getting the buckles at the same time. You know, like in every other strap match EVER. Shane gets up on the apron before Sable gets the buckle, but Sable’s psycho fan Tori uses the distraction to deck Luna, giving sable the win.

Rating: D. Sable was insanely over back in 98, but at this point it was starting to wear thin. I always felt sorry for Luna who never got to win the Women’s Title. She really would have been a good choice for an evil chick for some blonde heroine to beat, but instead we got worthless lumps like Jackie. Nothing to see here but it could have been worse.

We’ll jump ahead to Unforgiven 1999.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Luna Vachon

Ok then. They’re in an office and fighting with a copier and phone. Ivory is champion here in case you were wondering. It’s your standard match in this genre and is just various weapons shots and throwing people into things. Odd to see women doing it though. A splash onto some cardboard boxes as Luna channels her inner Foley. This is about as pointless as you could ask for. And here’s Tori to save Luna for no apparent reason. Ivory hits Luna with a wooden pole for the pin. That was as pointless as I could have imagined.

Rating: N/A. Way too short here. This was like 3 minutes long and random as all goodness. That’s a shame too as Luna could have had a decent match with someone like Ivory, who actually had some decent training and could work a match. That’s one of Luna’s biggest issues: she keeps getting stuck with these opponents that can’t actually do anything but brawl, when Luna needed a regular worker.

Luna’s next title shot was at Rebellion 1999.

Women’s Title: Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Luna Vachon vs. Ivory

Tori is the former lesbian stalker that is now just sexy as all goodness. Jackie is just annoying and no one cares about her. Ross is freaking over the Bulldog thing to further emphasize that he is a HEEL. Luna is a face. That’s just odd. Wow this division is dying to have Trish and Lita show up, if nothing else for their looks. No tagging here. Please make it quick. Various people do various teams and no one cares.

The division was a bigger joke than it is today if you can believe that. Crowd is more or less dead here but not quite. The ECW Triple Sleeper is added to as it’s a quadruple sleeper. This is just a series of really stupid looking spots in a row. And Ivory hits Jackie with a belt and wins it. Wow I really could not have cared less there. Ross says he didn’t care because of Stephanie. Nice cover up there Jimbo.

Rating: F. These matches had a tendency to be awful. Awful sounds like a nice thing here as this was just annoying to have to sit through. Terrible match to say the least.

Time to continue the stupid at Survivor Series 1999.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline

Thank goodness this isn’t an elimination match. For some reason Moolah and Mae were wrestling in 99 with Moolah even winning the Women’s Title at one point. Jerry’s face when Debra comes out is hilarious. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point. Moolah jumps the champion in the aisle to start but gets shoved down for her efforts. We officially start with Tori vs. Jackie but Luna comes in for some double teaming.

Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. This is what Raw is for people.

We’ll wrap it up with an indy appearance at WWA Inception in 2001.

Luna Vachon vs. Vampire Warrior

This is a Black Wedding Match, which I think means hardcore but I have no idea for sure. Luna slaps him and Gangrel won’t fight back because it’s his wife. Gangrel finally kind of slams her down and we head outside. There’s wedding themed stuff on the floor and Gangrel takes a cake to the face. Luna gets tongs and grabs Gangrel’s balls with them. We get a pumpkin shot in and you can connect the dots on this one yourself I think. Luna throws down her wedding ring and spits at him, earning her an inverted DDT for the pin. Nothing here at all but ANOTHER comedy match.

As is often the case, looking back at Luna’s career makes me feel sorry for her. She was a very talented worker but she kept getting stuck putting over the latest blonde of the month. Luna would have thrived in a modern promotion like TNA where they would let her brawl no matter how she looked. Imagine her against the Beautiful People and just destroying them one by one. Think that might work? Vachon was very talented but unfortunately no one took advantage of it.

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Wrestler of the Day – November 6: Ivory

Today is a woman who doesn’t fit the traditional Diva mold: Ivory.

Ivory got started in the totally campy GLOW promotion in the mid 80s and was one of the few women to stay in the business after it closed. Here she is at AWA SuperClash III.

Lingerie Battle Royal

Pali the Syrian Terrorist, Luna Vachon, Nina, Pocahontas, Malibu, Brandi Mae, Laurie Lynn, Peggy Lee Leather, Bambi

This is a Beverly Hills Street Fight Battle Royal. You can win by over the top rope or ripping clothes off so it’s more like a bra and panties battle royal. Other than Nina (Ivory) and Luna, none of these girls ever meant anything. This is a POWW match and David McLane is on commentary here and sounds so horny he makes Lawler sound like a nun. The winner gets ten grand also. The girls start in regular clothes and are as gimmicked as you could imagine. In short, the girl named Leather wears leather etc.

We’ll jump WAY ahead now as there isn’t much to see until 1994 when Ivory took a few years off from wrestling. Here’s one of her first matches back, from Raw on March 22, 1999.

Sable vs. Ivory

Non-title. Ivory’s friend D’Lo Brown jumps in on commentary. Sable wants to stretch before we get going and we hear about Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow vs. Billy Gunn at Mania. Cue PMS as Sable hits a horrible kick to Ivory’s ribs. Terri and Jackie yell at D’Lo and Ivory gets a pair of near falls. Jackie trips Ivory and Sable wins with the powerbomb. This was nothing, again.

Ivory would become the focus of the division by winning the title later in the year. Here she is defending it at Summerslam 1999.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Tori

Ivory is defending and Tori is just horrible for the most part. Ivory painted the word sl** on Tori a few weeks ago to set this up. Tori charges in and hits a powerslam for two and it’s time for a breather. The crowd is already dead for this and a back elbow gets two for the champion. Tori hits a pair of suplexes and some lame kicks for two. Ivory is loudly calling spots to keep Tori from screwing everything up. The fans chant TAKE IT OFF as Ivory hooks a big swing. Tori comes back with a horrible spear and a middle rope cross body for two. They horribly botch a sunset flip so they do it again with Ivory sitting on Tori for the pin.

Rating: F+. Tori looked good in a bra and tight pants and that’s about it. Seriously, she was TERRIBLE and makes the modern Divas look like ring generals. Ivory was trying out there but she was hardly a miracle worker. Trish would debut soon but wouldn’t get good for about four more years.

Ok so maybe the good is still coming. Here’s another defense at Unforgiven 1999.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Luna Vachon

Rating: N/A. Way too short here. This was like 3 minutes long and random as all goodness. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.

Another defense at Rebellion 1999.

Women’s Title: Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Luna Vachon vs. Ivory

Tori is the former lesbian stalker that is now just sexy. Jackie is very annoying and no one cares about her. Ross is freaking over the Bulldog thing to further emphasize that he is a HEEL. Luna is a face. That’s just odd. Wow this division is dying to have Trish and Lita show up, if nothing else for their looks. No tagging here. Please make it quick. Various people do various teams and no one cares.

Rating: F. These matches had a tendency to be awful. Awful sounds like a nice thing here as this was just annoying to have to sit through. Terrible match to say the least as the division just doesn’t have enough talent to work well yet. Trish and Lita will show up to save things eventually but until then we’re stuck with this.

Then this happened at No Mercy 1999.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Ivory

Mae is with her of course. This was when the women’s division was about as boring as you could possibly imaging so this very well may have been the best they could think of. Ivory has a nice figure if nothing else. Dang that’s something I didn’t notice before. Ok I have a reason to pay attention now. Seriously though, this is ok? No one sees anything wrong with this at all?

Having a woman who was in her 20s in World War II being in a wrestling match in 1999 is fine now? Mae breaks up a pin and Moolah gets thrown to the floor. Ok this is officially stupid. Mae gets knocked to the floor. I don’t care if they say they can do this. It’s not something you should allow them to do. If you’re Vince you say no to them.

That’s all there is to it. I mean Moolah is taking bumps out there. This is ridiculous. And now Mae takes a belt shot to the head and falls from the apron to the floor. Moolah wins the title on a horrible looking rollup. This is idiotic and thankfully it’s over. She would lose the title 8 days later to Ivory, making this totally pointless.

Rating: F. No. This is not acceptable. This is nothing but irresponsible. I don’t care if they’re ok with it or anything like that. Vince, you should never have let them in the ring no matter what. This is ridiculous and not right on any level. I hate stuff like this as it’s dangerous and not needed. Don’t have a title match or whatever, but do not do this ever.

From Raw on December 27, 1999.

Ivory/Prince Albert vs. The Kat/Val Venis vs. Gangrel/Luna vs. Jacqueline/Viscera

Kat is Women’s Champion. Why this match exists is beyond me. Val and Albert start this off. Val gets caught in a chokebomb and a slam. He tags in….Luna? Albert runs over her so she hits him low and brings in Val to face Viscera. Gangrel comes in illegally and takes a spinebuster. There’s the Money Shot but Teddy Long (referee) says that’s not the right referee. Bicycle kick from Albert pins Val quickly. What a mess.

We’ll jump ahead to Survivor Series 2000 as the division is actually getting better. Ivory is now part of the Right to Censor, a censorship group, meaning she actually has a character.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Lita

Ivory is in the RTC and is defending here. Lita goes straight at her and the fight is on fast. A quick hiptoss puts Ivory down as does an enziguri. Ivory comes back with a clothesline as Jerry panics over seeing Lita’s thong. Ivory hits a right hand and HOLY SWEET GOODNESS is Lita bleeding from it! I mean she is GUSHING. During the replay of it, Lita botches a rana and drives Ivory’s head into the mat. I’m not sure which of those hurt worse.

Steven Richards comes out so Lita throws Ivory to the floor and hits a big dive to take both of them out. A cross body gets two for Lita but the moonsault misses thanks to Steven. Ivory misses a belt shot and gets suplexed down. Lita takes her own top off but the moonsault hits knees. Apparently Ivory pulled the belt up and knocked Lita out with it to retain.

Rating: D. This was like any Raw match you would have ever seen. That’s the theme for this show so far: most of the matches are nothing special and could have been on most TV shows. Lita looked out of it in there, which says a lot for her as she got WAY better in a few years, as did Trish. Nothing to see here. Ivory would start feuding with Chyna very soon.

Here’s the first major match with Chyna at Royal Rumble 2001.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending here. Chyna immediately runs her over with a pair of clotheslines and a toss around by the hair. Stomping ensues and Chyna knocks her out to the floor. They head into the crowd so Chyna gorilla presses her right back to ringside. Back in and Steven Richards gets beaten up as well. In an ending to set up Wrestlemania, Chyna tries the Muta Handspring Elbow but hurts her neck (on the softest bump in the corner you’ll see in years) and Ivory gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Ivory was squashed until the end when she won off an injury. What are you expecting from a match like this? This was designed to get more attention on Chyna because no female could conceivably beat her, so making her Women’s Champion for her Playboy hype wouldn’t do much good. Nothing to see here at all unless you’re a fan of Chyna in leather.

And the blowoff at Wrestlemania X7.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

For one of the only times ever, Chyna looks great here. Ivory holds the belt to her face before the bell, but the referee is shoved away to let Ivory hit Chyna in the back with said title. Ivory gets in a few more shots but Chyna catches a boot in the corner. The destruction begins and Ivory is beaten down in the corner. A powerbomb kills Ivory dead but Chyna pulls her up at two. Instead it’s a gorilla press slam for the pin and the title. Chyna would bail on the company about a month later without ever losing the title.

We’ll jump ahead to Raw on September 3, 2001 for a mixed tag.

Matt Hardy/Lita vs. Ivory/Hurricane

The guys start things off and Matt is so fired up that he gets put in position for a superplex. The fans chant for Hurricane as Ivory raises the roof. Men vs. women is cool here. Off to Lita who hits her headscissors but walks into a facejam for two. Off to the men and Matt can’t fire the crowd up at all. Ivory gets speared down but Saturn comes down to break up the middle rope legdrop. Eye of the Hurricane gets the quick pin. This was worthless.

To Survivor Series 2001 to deal with Chyna bailing on the company.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ivory vs. Lita vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jacqueline vs. Jazz

Chyna relinquished the title earlier in the year without being pinned and then disappeared so this is the best we’ve got to pick from for the new champion. This is Jazz’s debut and NO ONE CARES. Why does no one care? Because Jazz meant nothing in ECW and was a face there but is a heel here. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz pounding away. Off to Jackie vs. Molly off some blind tags and somehow even fewer people care about Jackie.

Jackie dropkicks Molly down and it’s off to Ivory who gets caught in a sunset flip for two. This is one fall to a finish. Ivory slingshots Jackie into the ropes and it’s off to Trish who is looking very good in those little pink shorts of hers. Lita gets knocked to the floor and the three Alliance chicks (Ivory, Jazz, Molly) triple team Trish for a bit. Jackie double crosses Lita on Poetry in Motion and everyone hits their finishers on everyone else. The Litasault gets two on Ivory as Jazz saves. Lita gets backdropped to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish left. Stratusfaction gives Trish I believe her first title.

Rating: D. It was short, the match wasn’t any good, Trish looked great in the skin tight barely there pink shorts, Lita looked good as usual, and that’s all I’ve got here. As usual with situations like this, when the previous champion doesn’t lose the title, the new champion comes in at a big disadvantage.

Ivory’s appearances would become far less frequent so we’ll jump ahead to one of her last matches at Armageddon 2003.

Raw Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Ivory

This is a bonus match. Molly is champion and there’s no story to this whatsoever. The thing with Molly at this point is she’s a virgin and she’s frustrated all the time. From what I remember she was a virgin until she was married in real life. That’s rather cool. Molly is sent to the floor as no one cares about this at all. Ivory hits a flip off the apron to take Molly down again.

Back inside as there’s nothing going on here at all. You can tell this is the food break match before the main event and that’s fine. You have to have one of those I guess. Armbar goes on by Molly as we talk about anything but this match. JR apologizes for having nothing to say because he doesn’t have any notes for it. Molly hits a Muta elbow for two. Ivory gets a rollup which is reversed into one by Molly for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match really here. Was there going to be anything of note here at all expected? It’s just a bonus match so it’s not like you can really complain here. Neither of these chicks would wind up doing anything else in the division for more or less the rest of time, so there you are.

Ivory was talented but spent most of her run in a dead period for women’s wrestling. At the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do with the girls that she had to work with but Ivory gave it a solid effort. She would have fit in just fine in the upcoming glory days of the division a few years later but she just came along at the wrong time.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 19: Sable

Today is one of the first Divas: Sable.

Sable debuted as HHH’s valet of the week at Wrestlemania XII but she wound up having a personality after HHH yelled at her. Marc Mero (her real life husband) saved her, setting up a feud between HHH and Mero. Sable became a big deal soon after but didn’t get in the ring until 1998. Her first feud was with Luna Vachon, resulting in a mixed tag at Wrestlemania XIV. This was kind of strange as Mero had become a jerk obsessed with the spotlight but turned face again to stand up for Sable’s honor.

The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon vs. Marc Mero/Sable

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting it to be. The saddest part of this match though was what happened after: in the back Sable had praise heaped onto her while Luna was basically ignored. Sable could barely do anything in the ring while Luna was a seasoned veteran who received no credit for her work with Sable. Only Owen Hart congratulated her on her success. That’s rather sad when you think about it.

The feud would continue the next month at Unforgiven 1998.

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Mero would become a jerk again due to Sable becoming such a huge deal. This resulted in a match between them on Raw, May 11, 1998.

Sable vs. Marc Mero

They talk a bit before the match and Mero puts her in the TKO position and then puts her down, saying that’s what he could have done. She kicks Mero in the balls and gets a decent powerbomb (all things considered) powerbomb to leave Mero laying. Sable leaves after that so I guess that’s a win?

They would have another match soon after this with Mero easily pinning Sable with a small package, ending her employment in the WWF. This lasted all of a few weeks as she would come back in a story that was never explained. Anyway, she had a mixed tag against Mero and his new chick Jacqueline at Summerslam 1998, teaming with a mystery partner.

Jacqueline/Marc Mero vs. Sable/???

This is the final blowoff of the long Mero vs. Sable feud. The mystery partner is Edge who has only been around for a month or so at this time. The guys start things off with Edge hitting some quick Japanese armdrags. Off to Jackie who demands Sable come in but runs off to Mero as soon as the blonde comes in. Edge hits a quick flapjack but Jackie trips him up to give Mero a free shot.

The million dollar kneelift puts Edge down and Jackie chokes even more. Mero’s TKO is countered into a DDT and it’s off to the girls again. Sable hits her kicks in the corner and a forearm to knock Marc to the floor but she can’t powerbomb Mero. Jackie gets in a cheap shot but gets caught in a passable TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter) for two as Mero makes a save.

Jackie accidentally drills Mero (he’s having a bad night) and it’s back to the guys for a dive from Edge. Jackie tries to choke Edge but gets spanked for her efforts. Back in and a high cross gets two for Edge and drops Mero with a neckbreaker out of the corner. Marc comes back with a Samoan drop but gets crotched going up. Sable gets the tag and hits a top rope rana for one. Jackie’s save messes up and everything breaks down. The Downward Spiral lays out Mero and Edge drops Sable on top of him for the pin and a big pop.

Rating: C-. The match kind of sucked but Sable was WAY over. You have to remember how big of a deal she was back then to keep this in context. Sable was the final thing you would see on Raw a lot of the time, much like Cena is today. The biggest problem I still have with this match is what JR says at the end: “SHE DID IT!” This was all about Sable and Edge, the guy they were trying to rub, could have been any other guy.

Sable and Jackie would continue fighting, setting up a match for the revived Women’s Title on September 21, 1998’s Raw.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacqueline

Mero stays on the apron and distracts Sable so that Jackie can get in a shot to her back to take over. Jackie fires off some kicks into the ribs and a DDT gets two. She misses a crotch attack on the ropes though and Sable goes into catfight mode with a take down. Sable throws Jackie to the floor and knocks Mero off the apron as well. She suplexes Jackie back in but Mero holds the foot for the pin and the title for Jackie. I don’t think there’s a belt. Too short to rate but as usual Sable was bad in the ring.

Here’s the rematch from Survivor Series 1998.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacqueline

Jackie is defending. Shane McMahon is referee after being demoted by Vince. Jackie kicks Sable down and, wait for it, runs her mouth. Sable comes back with a TKO but Mero pulls her out at two. Sable kicks Mero low and powerbombs him on the floor. Jackie decks Sable and runs her mouth some more. Did I mention I REALLY don’t like Jackie? Sable counters a tornado DDT and powerbombs Jackie for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. It came, it went, it wasn’t any good at all. People actually cared Sable, but the title became a prop very quickly. There’s just nothing else to say here.

Sable would be a big draw for the company around this time, even making it over to England for the Capital Carnage PPV.

Marc Mero/Jacqueline vs. Christian/Sable

So we see a clip of Mero firing Jackie and leaving the company after losing a match to Duane Gill on Raw. This is apparently only happening due to contractual obligations, even though Vince changed two matches earlier in the night. Christian is a complete newcomer at this time and looks awesome in the white shirt with the long hair.

Sable is naturally cheered to no end as she recently “earned” the Women’s Title. Who cares that she was one of the most annoying workers ever and I can’t stand her? We start with Mero vs. Christian as in this it has to be men vs. men and women vs. women. Surprisingly enough, Mero really did leave shortly after this.

Hey, let’s randomly say that Sable is hot. And now let’s completely ignore the gender rules. With Sable ready to fight Mero, Christian pulls his shorts down. Well ok then. It amuses me greatly that Mero is more embarrassed over being seen in traditional wrestling tights than he is over being Johnny B. Badd on national television but what do I know?

HEY! Sable hit a basic kick! Let’s praise her and give her another month with the women’s title since she’s advance SO much! Christian hits a sweet cross body from the top and the girl chase is on.

After Christian beats up Mero for a bit Sable hits a powerbomb on him and he walks out. This allows Sable to hit some bad offense and a TKO that was sloppy as all goodness for the pin. Jackie beats up the referee and Sable rips her top off, actually showing full chest, which I guess is allowed in England.

Rating: D+. Again, this was nothing of note. It was about five minutes long (that’s the fifth match and none have gone six minutes yet) and just not a lot happened there. The problem is that it’s not enough time to get anything of note going. Christian was good here but he’s miles away from what he is today.

With Jackie now out of the way, Sable would pick up her feud with Luna again, including this match at Royal Rumble 1999.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Rating: D. Sable was insanely over back in 98, but at this point it was starting to wear thin. I always felt sorry for Luna who never got to win the Women’s Title. She really would have been a good choice for an evil chick for some blonde heroine to beat, but instead we got worthless lumps like Jackie. Nothing to see here but it could have been worse.

Sable would turn heel soon after this in an actually big moment. Around the same time she had a psychotic fan that followed her everywhere. Naturally the fan was a wrestler and got a title shot at Wrestlemania XV.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori

This is just after Sable turned heel. She’s defending against a psycho fan named Tori here who would wind up sleeping with X-Pac and Kane. Sable won’t let her get in so she dances a bit. Tori, wearing a Catwoman/Giant Gonzalez body suit, pulls the champion to the floor and sends her into the apron a few times, only to get kicked in the ribs by Sable. You can actually see people coming in and going out with food in hand during this match.

Sable dives off the apron to take Tori out before we head back inside. Tori comes back with some shots to the face and a bad looking sunset flip. They BADLY screw up a backslide which gets two on Sable before a bad looking cross body takes out the referee. Cue Nicole Bass who makes Chyna look like a 12 year old girl to slam Tori down. She tells Sable to pin her and the title is retained off a Sable Bomb.

Rating: F. Do I need to explain this one? I didn’t think so. Tori makes Aksana look like Trish and Lita combined if that tells you anything. They sloppiness in this match was cringe worthy and Sable continues to not be able to do anything of note in the ring other than shake her hips and take her clothes off. Nothing to see here at all.

That would more or less be it for Sable around this time as she would leave the WWF in 1999 and not show up again until 2003. She was immediately sleeping with Vince, thereby ticking off Stephanie. For some reason that I’ll never fathom, it was decided that they should wrestle at Vengeance 2003.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Sable

Vince was having an affair with Sable and all of Smackdown had become about them. Yeah I’m shocked too. For some reason this is no count out. That’s just an odd stipulation. This is a catfight, whatever that means. Sable is freaking gorgeous. Stephanie was at a weird stage here and it didn’t work that well for her. We’re in the crowd already. Stephanie actually gets a half decent rollup. I’m surprised.

She goes off on Sable as well as she can and Sable tries to run. That obviously doesn’t work either. Stephanie actually busts out the Mr. Perfect neck snap. WOW. She goes off on Sable in the corner and winds up ripping part of her top off. The referee rips his shirt off for her to put on. And here’s A-Train of all people to flatten Stephanie so Sable can win. Ok then.

Rating: D. This was WAY better than it had any right to be. That being said, it still sucked. They just weren’t going to have a good match no matter what they did, although Stephanie was certainly trying so I can’t fault her for that at all. Not any good at all but they tried so I can give them points there.

Up next was Torrie Wilson in a bizarre semi-lesbian story. Both were in Playboy and they were even in a dual pictorial at one point. This led to a feud, but first it was a tag team evening gown match at Wrestlemania XX.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is an evening gown match and the annual Playboy promotional match. Sable and Torrie posed together and had a teased lesbian angle around this time. Sable wants to just wrestle without clothes but Jackie (Gayda, as in the attractive one) says no. Everyone else winds up in lingerie and Jackie is soon stripped too. This is exactly what you would expect: horny announcers, sexual spots, very little wrestling and very little complaining from most fans. Stacy kicks Torrie’s head off for two and it’s back to Jackie. We get the rolling over the referee spot and Torrie rolls up Jackie for the pin. This was what it was.

And now the feud between them, from Great American Bash 2004.

Sable vs. Torrie Wilson

So they’re fighting over who should be the spokesperson for this PPV. Torrie said she should be, so Sable said she looked fat. You know it’s on after that. To the shock of no one, neither of them can do anything other than look good in shorts. Sable kicks a lot and they mess up a sunset flip. The fans are already booing. All Sable so far here. Time for a chinlock by Sable as this is dying quickly. The fans are mostly silent at this point.

Torrie hits one of the worst suplexes I’ve ever seen. Cole says there are Torrie chants but I don’t hear them. Then again Cole thinks some odd things at times. They collide and both girls are down, drawing even more booing. Sable plays possum and rolls Torrie up for the pin. They couldn’t even do THAT right, as Sable rolled over her and Torrie’s right side was completely off the mat.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this one, you’re not paying enough attention.

Sable wasn’t exactly Lou Thesz in the ring but of course she wasn’t there for what she could do on a mat. Well maybe she was but I’ll leave out the jokes. Sable drew INSANE money for the company in 1998, to the point where she would be the last thing you would see on Raw at times. That’s remarkable and something not even Trish and Lita got to do that often. No she wasn’t great in a ring, but she used what she had very well.

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XWF Episode 2 – They Have To Take The Up Escalator To Get To Terrible

XWF Episode 2
Date: November 13, 2001
Location: Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Tony Schiavone

The debut episode of this show was, shall we say, horrible. Unfortunately there’s no time between the tapings to fix those things as these episodes were all taped in a two day span. The only good thing that could come out of this would be those wrestlers aren’t likely to work again on this show…unless those guys were their best. In that case I might be in the need of a well crafted noose. Let’s get to it.

Hart and Knobbs hype up the second episode and recap the first. We need a recap for a show that was on the same DVD set as this one?

This week’s episode opens with another recap of last week’s episode.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis vs. Ray Gonzalez/Konnan

Gonzalez is a big deal in Puerto Rico and I’m sure you know everyone else. Konnan and Psychosis get us going with Konnan taking him down four times in a row including twice by armdrags before bringing in Gonzalez. Ray tries to drop down but Guerrera drops an elbow on the back, only to have Gonzalez pop back up and choke Juvy to the mat. Guerrera comes back with a LOUD spinwheel kick before Psychosis comes back in for a double dropkick.

Psychosis gets two off a legdrop and Juvy gets the same off a springboard version of the same move. Ray comes back with an enziguri to Juvy and it’s hot tag to Konnan who speeds things up. A DDT puts Psychosis down and a double hiptoss gets two on Juvy. Guerrera comes right back with the Juvy driver to Ray but Konnan breaks up the 450, allowing Gonzalez to hit a swinging neckbreaker on Guerrera for the pin.

Rating: D+. I think the match had the potential to be good but it went by so fast that I could barely tell. This match needed to be about twice as long for the story they were trying to tell which has been the problem for a lot of the matches that this promotion has had so far. It’s ok to give a match more than four minutes and letting it develop.

That’s enough wrestling so here’s Rena Mero (Sable) flanked by security with something to say. She talks about how great this company can be but Gene interrupts her to ask about Roddy Piper overstepping his boundaries in the Hennig vs. Vampiro match last week. Cue Roddy to defend himself (I think, as his music drowns out the start of his speech) and say he’s taken many things into his own hands but Sable hasn’t been one of them…..yet.

She says Piper promised to avoid getting physical but thinks there might be a fire burning under his kilt. Piper rants about something the audio doesn’t pick up until Vampiro comes in. He thanks Sable for her confidence in the locker room’s abilities and Sable says make the most of it. One more thing: Sable wants Piper to hire Josh Matthews from Tough Enough, which gets a pop for some reason. Piper is cool with the idea and makes Matthews vs. Vampiro.

Big Vito wants to fight the best in the XWF.

The South Philly Posse (Public Enemy) walks past a bus stop and hits on a woman who is clearly a hooker.

The announcers talk for a bit until Simon Diamond comes out to yell at Jerry Lawler for his comments about Simon last week. Those comments were so quick that I don’t even remember them but apparently they were about Dawn Marie not having any class. Simon insults Lawler’s chick named Kitten and we’ve got a match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Simon Diamond

Lawler takes him into the corner for right hand but Johnny Swinger runs in for a double team. Jerry gets double teamed but Simon hits Swinger by mistake. Lawler cleans house and piledrives Simon for the pin in about 90 seconds. Again, less than nothing.

Sonny Onoo has a guy named Vapor. These vignettes are maybe ten seconds each.

Hail vs. Knuckles

Knuckles is a jobber who hasn’t seemed to fight anywhere of note other than in the XWF. Corner splash, modified belly to belly superplex, shoulder breaker, legdrop, Hail wins.

AJ Styles promises to prove he’s the best cruiserweight in the XWF. If you think he’s a country hick now, you would be blown away here. He sounds like a guy imitating a country wrestler.

Knobs and Hart recap the other half of last week’s show.

Horace and Greg Valentine are ticked off that they’re not on the card tonight. They complain to Piper who makes Horace vs. Josh Matthews next week.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Norman Smiley

Badd is way slimmer than he was in his WWF days. Smiley shoulder blocks him down and follows up with a hiptoss before stopping for a dance. Badd comes back with a headlock takeover of his own but stops to pose, allowing Norman to score with some uppercuts in the corner. A slam and clothesline drop Johnny for two and we hit the chinlock.

Jerry talks about Norman having a match last week, even though this is the first match we’ve seen him have. Badd fights up but Norman clotheslines him right back down. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two for Norman and it’s off to an abdominal stretch on the mat. Back up and Badd easily picks Norman up for the TKO and the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m having a hard time coming up with stuff to say about these matches. Norman was doing his best amateur and technical stuff out there but Badd literally did nothing but basic moves before hitting the TKO for the win. Nothing to see here, which should be the motto of this company rather than In Your Face.

Drezden is still coming.

Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins

Since it was SO interesting last week. Actually there are no Nastys but here are some replacements.

Shane Twins vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors jump the Twins to start and again the audio issues flare up as we can’t hear the commentary over the ring noise. Mike and Animal get things going with Animal breaking out of a wristlock and clotheslining Mike down. Off to Hawk for some loud chops which send Mike out to the floor. The fans are entirely behind the LOD here but Mike gets Hawk to chase him back inside and suplexes him down for two.

Hawk is sent shoulder first into the post and out to the floor on his head. Back in and Todd forearms Hawk down for two and pounds away in the corner. Hawk staggers out and collides with Todd to put both guys down, setting up a double tag to Animal and Mike. Animal easily beats up both Shane Twins by himself and there’s the Doomsday Device to Mike but the Nasty Boys hit the ring and pull out the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity more than anything else. The match wasn’t anything to see but it’s the longest match of the tapings thus far, running less than four and a half minutes. However, it advances a story and gives us somewhere to go from here so there’s at least something there. It’s going towards Nasty Boys vs. Road Warriors but it’s better than nothing.

The Nasty Boys bail and the Road Warriors raise the Twins’ hands.

Jimmy Snuka and Jimmy Snuka Jr. are here.

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

Buff is a face again after doing that mid match heel turn last week. Hennig is sent to the corner so Buff can do his strut while Hennig bails to the floor. Back in and Curt takes Buff into the corner for some loud chops, only to be dropkicked out to the floor. Buff tries to pull him back inside but Curt snaps his throat across the top rope to take over. We hit the nerve hold for a few seconds before it’s off to standard choking.

Buff gets caught in an abdominal stretch but it lasts about ten seconds, just like everything else. A bad looking Boston Crab from Hennig lasts about as long but Bagwell comes back with a jawbreaker and clotheslines. In a bad looking ending, Buff goes to the middle rope for the Blockbuster but Heenan shoves him off the ropes (referee doesn’t care) and into the PerfectPlex (Bagwell’s shoulder was up, referee doesn’t care) for the pin.

Rating: D. WE BROKE FIVE MINUTES!!! Indeed we did but the match sucked. The holds lasting a few seconds at a time got really annoying because there was no reason for Hennig to let them go. He just dropped them like he was playing No Mercy which is stupid in video games and horrible looking in the real world. Horrible looking match.

Post match Vampiro comes out to yell about Heenan but gets beaten down by Curt. Buff makes the save but Ian Harrison comes out to beat up both guys. This brings out Roddy Piper with a chair to make the real save but Sable and her security come out to yell at him to end the show.

Hart and Knobbs wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D-. This show isn’t making me mad, but rather making me wonder how much longer there is to go with it. The show is starting to get some ideas together but none of the ideas are any good. At the end of the day, this is a nostalgia show and not a very good one. These guys weren’t incredibly old at the time, but there was no way they thought this was going to last more than a few months tops. It was somewhat better this time but they had nowhere to go but up.

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XWF Episode 1: Ahead Of Its Time…..Kind Of?

XWF Episode #1
Date: November 13, 2001
Location: Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jerry Lawler
Hosts: Jimmy Hart, Brian Knobbs

This is another one I doubt you’ve heard of. Basically about seven months after WCW and ECW folded, Jimmy Hart, Greg Valentine and Brian Knobbs signed up the talent to start a family friendly wrestling promotion to give the guys another place to work. They taped ten TV shows over a two day period but the shows never aired on TV due to Vince signing up a lot of the roster.

The World Wrestling All-Stars would take some of these guys before TNA became a real home for them. These matches are from a three disc DVD set called the Lost Episodes of the XWF. I believe these were supposed to be TV episodes but there’s a chance they’re just random matches thrown together with other clips edited in to add a story. It could be interesting though so let’s get to it.

Before anyone asks, the X stands for either the X-Factor of wrestling, Xcitement or Xtreme depending on who you ask. Also yes, this is the same arena that TNA uses as the Impact Zone.

Since this is a DVD release, Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart tell us the company’s backstory. They emphasize that the company was never meant to compete with the WWE but rather to offer an alternative. Their motto was No More Prima Donnas, so they immediately went after Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan is excited to be here and rips his shirt off to prove it.

After a generic rock song intro, Gene Okerlund talks to us about how exciting this is.

Tony introduces us to Jerry Lawler as his surprise commentary partner. The Jerry Lawler Fan Club sign over Tony’s shoulder kind of spoiled things.

The production values are somewhere between mediocre and good with a well built stage but bad lighting.

An old looking Okerlund is in the ring to introduce CEO Rena Mero (Sable) who is nearly falling out of her low cut dress. She gives us the usual WE ARE THE FUTURE AND ALL ABOUT THE WRESTLERS speech that every wrestling promotion gives on its first show. Sable is glad to be here but the board has decided we need a commissioner: Roddy Piper.

We get Piper’s traditional over the top speech about how many of his friends have been ruined by this business and how glad he is that this place is about the wrestlers. We hear about some of the stars of this place: Jimmy Snuka and Greg Valentine. This is going to be a LONG night isn’t it? Piper is glad to have a beautiful lady working with him. She can deal with the money while he deals with the wrestlers. It’s an independence day for wrestling.

Gene Simmons of KISS is with the Demon of WCW 2000 fame. Ok then.

Big Vito vs. Buff Bagwell

The first bell rings nearly fifteen minutes into this show. Before the match we get comments from the Nasty Boys: “We’re back!” End of comments. Vito jumps Bagwell to start as Tony confirms this is the debut TV episode (which never aired). Bagwell escapes some choking to come back with armdrags and dropkicks. At least we have a somewhat clear face.

The fans think Bagwell sucks though so who knows what’s going on here. Vito comes back with a boot to the face and a side slam for two but Buff scores with right hands and a backdrop. Bagwell responds to the chants and basically does a mid-match heel turn which isn’t something you see that often. The Blockbuster is broken up with an old fashioned crotching to set up a Vito superplex for two. Not that it matters as the Blockbuster connects for the pin for Buff a few seconds later.

Rating: D. This immediately shows the problem with shows like this (aside from the match being Buff Bagwell vs. Big Vito of course): there’s no story, meaning the match is just two guys doing moves to each other for four minutes. The crowd reactions were interesting as the fans decided they liked Vito instead of Bagwell, but they weren’t enough to make me care about a boring match.

A bunch of cruiserweights go to Roddy Piper’s office and want a chance. Their chance is in a battle royal (with pins and submissions) tonight to become the first Cruiserweight Champion. Great to see those little guys getting their shot.

Marty Jannetty vs. Hail

Hale is a big muscular guy that hung around WCW for years but never did anything. Hail shoves him around to start, hits a weak backbreaker and drops a leg for the pin in less than two minutes.

Maximum Force (Simon and Swinger with Dawn Marie from ECW) will be in our face.

Drezden is coming.

Horace Hogan vs. Ian Harrison

Harrison is a huge muscle guy (notice a theme tonight?) from England. Horace pounds away in the corner but can’t whip him across the ring. Harrison comes back with a powerslam (by a strong guy from Leeds, England who comes out to Rule Britannia? They’re not even hiding the stolen ideas now) and some shots to the head. A bad looking overhead suplex sets up a triangle choke to make Horace tap out.

Johnny B. Badd is back. Egads they thought this was going to be a big deal?

Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs hype up the battle royal.

Cruiserweight Title: Battle Royal

Psychosis, Billy Fives, AJ Styles, Juventud Guerrera, Tongan Prince, Quick Kick, Kid Kash, Christopher Daniels

No one gets an entrance and you can be eliminated by pinfall, submission or over the top. Tongan Prince is Prince Iaukea and Quick Kick is Low Ki (they might as well have just called him that all the time. It makes more sense). Daniels has short blonde hair here. It’s a big brawl to start with everyone going after everyone and Tony having no idea who half of these guys are. Styles dumps Billy Fives as Josh Matthews (yes THAT Josh Matthews) is sitting in the crowd. Psychosis is dumped and AJ is LAUNCHED over the top onto Psychosis and Fives.

Low Ki hits some loud kicks to Kash’s head as Daniels kicks Iaukea down in the corner. They trade off with Kash and Low Ki going up top, only to miss stereo dives and collide (kind of) in midair. Daniels and Iaukea try to get in cheap shots but clothesline each other down. Low Ki misses a charge and eliminates himself before Kash (Krash according to Tony) hurricanranas Iaukea out. Kash’s tornado DDT mostly doesn’t connect but it staggers Daniels enough that Kash can hit a springboard kick to eliminate him for the title.

Rating: D. If you ever want an example of a spot fest, this is where you would look. Nothing more to say than that.

Kash invites Josh Matthews to hang out with him in the back. This was right after Matthews had lost the inaugural Tough Enough.

Alice Cooper likes the XWF.

There are XWF Girls. Ok then.

Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins

You might remember the Shane Twins as the Gymini from 2006 Smackdown. If not, picture twin Rybacks named Todd and Mike. What appears to be a 350lb or so Sags elbows Todd into the Pit Stop from Knobbs. Todd comes back with some suplexes before tagging in Mike. A double flapjack gets two on Knobbs and everything breaks down. Sags is sent to the floor as Knobbs beats on Mike in the corner, only to charge into a clothesline to give the Shanes what is supposed to be an upset win.

The Road Warriors come out to chase the Nastys off and issue them a challenge.

Jim Duggan is on Willie Nelson’s tour bus….and that’s all for that scene.

Vampiro talks about getting shortchanged over the years.

Vampiro vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig has an agent by the name of Bobby Heenan, who does Curt’s entrance as only he could. Vampiro hits a quick kick to the chest to start and follows Hennig into the corner with a clothesline. Heenan talks to his client on the floor and it’s Curt coming back with knee lifts and chops in the ring. The neck snap keeps Vampiro in trouble but he comes back with a belly to back suplex and a top rope spinwheel kick for two. Heenan loads up a foreign object but Piper is out maybe half a second later to take it away and blast Hennig. The Nail in the Coffin ends Hennig in less than three minutes.

Sable, Piper and Vampiro pose to end the show.

Knobbs and Hart dedicate the show to the late Hennig and Hawk. Egads what a horrid tribute.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh this is bad. I understand what they were going for here but it bombed badly. This is something that might possibly have a chance of surviving in modern times with video on demand or a DVD release, but having all these guys who were way past their primes at this point with not great production values wasn’t going to work. The longest match was maybe five minutes long and there were no stories anywhere in sight until the very end. I’d give this promotion a month if this had been the pilot episode, but maybe the next two will get better.

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