ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 1, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Back to the land of Extreme for another episode, this one being from an old ECW stomping ground. It’s hard to say what the crowd is going to think here but you know that the fans are going to be behind the ECW originals which is so cute because they think those people still mean a thing in this new company. It’s hard to say what to really expect here other than that. Let’s get to it.

The outside challenger of the week is Batista.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Test/Mike Knox

This is EXTREME Rules and I guess the blowoff to their month long feud. Sandman of course gets busted open on the way to the ring with the beer can. The fans get on Kelly (lucky) and it’s Dreamer vs. Test to start. It occurs to them that they don’t have to tag so everything breaks down quickly. Sandman fires off a dropkick to the shock and awe of the announcers. Knox kills Sandman with a shoulder and the non-ECW guys take over.

Test gets the Singapore Cane but Dreamer saves Sandman from a caining. The Extremists bust out the weapons in the form of some trashcans but the fans want tables. Since it’s ECW, Dreamer and Sandman bust out some barbed wire boards to pop the crowd. Knox avoids going into it and Test saves him from a double suplex through it. Dreamer is busted and the fans think that Test takes steroids. Gee what gave you THAT idea?

Test goes shoulder first into the post as Dreamer is gushing blood. Oh wait that was just one side of his head. Sandman finds his cane but Kelly shields Knox. Sandy actually thinks for once and moves her out of the way so he can cane Knox up the aisle. Dreamer leans down to kiss Kelly but spanks her instead. Heyman and his security guards come out and beat down Dreamer, putting him through the board. Test throws him through it again and gets the easy pin with a TKO.

Rating: C. Not a bad brawl here and I’m certainly not complaining about the upskirt shots of Kelly that we got, but it’s the same thing I’ve said week after week so far: the ECW guys mean nothing at all in this modern incarnation. Test wasn’t going to be able to be pushed anywhere else so this is the best that they could do. The match was ok I guess but the Heyman security guards stuff was as weak as you could get.

Hogan is at Summerslam. Can you EVER imagine Hogan in ECW?

Heyman talks to his security and runs into Nunzio. Nothing is said so Heyman keeps walking until he finds Sabu. Still no title match.

Punk tells us about discipline until the battle begins when he’ll unleash his rage.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

The fans LOUDLY chant for Punk who is known as an indy legend at this point. Punk takes him to the mat with ease and makes Credible look stupid for fun. They go into the corner and Punk hooks an Anaconda Vice/Tarantula hybrid. Credible gets in some offense but Punk comes back with the kicks. Justin hits some rolling suplexes for two. Off to a half crab which doesn’t last long. Springboard clothesline gets two. Corner knee, bulldog, high kick, Vice and we’re done.

Rating: C. This was your usual debuting squash. Credible got in some more offense than your usual jobber would, but that’s because he’s not your usual jobber. He’s a jobber with a stupid name. Not much to see here from the Straightedge one, but obviously he would go on to have some far better days.

Video on Batista.

Shannon Moore is on a subway.

Brooklyn Brawler is in the ring and says he’s too hardcore for Raw or Smackdown.

Brooklyn Brawler vs. Kurt Angle

Ankle lock. Do you really need another detail?

Video on Big Show.

Ariel says that Kevin Thorn will take over. Thorn says nothing of note.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Batista

Batista’s reaction is pretty mixed. There are definitely cheers though. The fans want RVD but they get a muscle head from the WWE isntead. Then the music stops and Batista gets on the ropes where the people just rip into him. They do the big match intros and Batista is loudly booed. Then again they’re not that thrilled with Big Show either. We get a loud YOU BOTH SUCK and it’s off. They fight over a power advantage to start as Joey and Tazz have to ignore the fans.

Batista escapes an arm hold and pounds Show down to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show in control as the fans are ranting about the match again. Show flips them all off and the announcers have to ignore them again. Chokeslam is broken up but Show clotheslines him down. There’s what sounds like a boring chant. Now it’s CHANGE THE CHANNEL. Show slams him down but his Vader Bomb is broken up by Big Dave. A superplex puts both guys down.

Big Dave avoids a charge and hits his shoulders in the corner. Some clotheslines don’t do much so he spears Show down for two. Now the chant is BORING. Chokeslam out of nowhere gets two. Show grabs the belt but walks into the spinebuster. The Bomb is countered into the Final Cut for two. And never mind as the belt shot draws the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. The problem here is the crowd. The match itself wasn’t that bad. It was your standard main event power match and could have been a watchable match on TV or PPV with few complaints being made. Well ok everyone would complain about the bad ending but the rest of the match was fine. That being said, the fans flat out did not want to see this at all and they were very vocal about it. Not the wrestlers’ fault though.

Post match Sabu (who was thrown out earlier) comes out and beats up Show with a chair to pop the crowd. Show falls through a table and Sabu poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. You can clearly tell that things are changing here but the most important thing is they’re getting a formula down. The show isn’t that bad although it’s certainly not what I’d call good. It’s more or less just there at this point and considering how bad the earlier episodes were, that’s a major compliment. Not a great show or anything but for an hour of wrestling, this was fine.

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Sacrifice 2005
Date: August 14, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We’re in a weird place here in TNA’s history as they don’t have a TV deal due to Spike not being ready to take them on yet. They were off TV from June through September which made it hard to build up PPVs. They did however have Impact airing on their website which helped a little. The main event tonight is a tag match between Raven/Sabu and Jarrett/Rhyno, the latter of whom debuted at No Surrender. If Raven pins Jarrett, Jarrett doesn’t get a title shot for a year but if Jarrett pins Raven, he gets a shot at the next PPV. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how there’s a battle raging everywhere and the winner will be those willing to sacrifice….something.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. Chris Sabin/Shark Boy/Sonjay Dutt

The Diamonds were a low level heel stable of Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper and perennial loser David Young. Simon, the leader, says Skipper is going to shine. Young and Shark Boy start things off as we hear about how Young actually won a match recently. Neckbreaker gets two for Sharky. There’s the bite on the back of Young’s tights but Skipper comes in with a clothesline to shift momentum.

Off to Simon for some rolling suplexes. Hardy isn’t here yet and he’s already no showed a PPV. If he misses this one, he’s fired. Shark Boy hits a kind of facebuster and brings in Sonjay off a tag. Cross body gets two as things speed up. And never mind as Skipper hits a backbreaker to put Dutt right back down. Back to Young as Dutt is playing Ricky Morton for awhile. A freaky kind of facebuster gets no cover so Sonjay manages to counter into a slingshot rana.

Off to Sabin as I don’t think it was long enough of a beatdown for a Morton label. We hear about how Dutt and Sabin are both getting better after losing to Joe. Ok then. Things break down and Skipper kind of walks the top rope for a rana on Dutt. Young hits his spinebuster for two on Dutt as Sharky saves. Shark Boy hits a dive to the floor so it’s down to Skipper and Sabin in the ring. They trade rollups and Sabin cradles him over for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad little tag match here to get things going. It got a little sloppy in the middle though as the Diamons just weren’t that good. Skipper was good at walking things but he slipped a little at the end which made it look pretty bad. Nothing special to it but it did its job well enough I guess.

We recap the pre-show which contained the announcement that Impact is coming to Spike on October 1. We get a video of that announcement….and Jarrett interrupts the announcement. This is where the stipulation that I mentioned in the intro is announced.

The Naturals are teaming with AMW tonight and Jimmy Hart (Naturals’ manager) says it’ll be ok. Jarrett comes up and says be with him when he wins the title. They don’t appreciate it but Jarrett says they have to hang together because TNA management is coming for him. Jimmy calls him paranoid.

Alex Shelley vs. Shocker

Rematch from Slammiversary. Apparently this is the third match in a series which has been split so far. Feeling out process to start but Shelley wraps him up into a leglock. Shocker takes him down and puts on a Brock Lock which quickly ends because of a grabbed rope. Shelley charges at Shocker but gets sent to the floor. Shocker tries a flip dive but he lands on his feet, which allows Shelley to pop him in the face.

Shocker drops him back first onto the apron and we head back inside. Back in and it’s time for chops by Shocker. A big boot puts him down and Shocker puts on a SICK twisting figure four and Shelley is in trouble. He gets the rope and his leg is just fine, as he hits a tornado DDT for two. Gah that gets on my nerves. Shocker takes him right back down into a modified Koji Clutch.

Shelley pops out of that too and hooks something like a diving dragon screw leg whip but Shocker rolls through that too. Slingshot elbow drop gets two for Shocker. They exchange seated dropkicks, with Shocker no selling A KICK TO THE FACE. He tries a rollup but Shelley counters and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. I can’t stand it when people just won’t sell stuff. Two leg holds don’t get sold and on top of that Shocker popped up from TWO FEET IN HIS FACE. That’s one of the things in wrestling that drives me crazy. I can get over it when they get hit, hit something of their own and collapse, but Shocker was right back up. It drives me crazy in ROH and it’s annoying here.

Mitchell talks about big men and how none of them can compare to Abyss. They’re ready for Lance Hoyt tonight. Somehow that took two minutes.

Now we recap Hoyt vs. Abyss. Abyss was sent to take out Raven and happened to beat up Hoyt who was with Raven at the time. Cue a PPV filler match.

Abyss vs. Lance Hoyt

Hoyt starts fast and pounds away in the corner. They were in the process of pushing him as a midcard guy, which resulted in him losing almost every major match he was in. We get the ten punches in the corner and Abyss is knocked over the top to the floor. There’s a plancha on top of that and Hoyt is in control. Hoyt pounds on him on the outside but Abyss sends him into the steps and back inside.

They trade chops in the corner and Abyss misses a charge, sending him into the corner. It’s a good thing I’m paying attention, because the announcers are talking about BG and Kip James. Hoyt misses a bit boot and Abyss hits a middle rope splash for two. The fans can’t decide who they want to cheer for here. Now Hoyt’s shoulder goes into the post and Abyss….cowers I think.

He focuses on Hoyt’s arm and shoulder but Hoyt comes off the middle rope with a clothesline to take over again. A big shoulder block puts the Monster down as does a chokeslam. Hoyt’s big move, the moonsault, gets two and there goes any chance he had to win this match. Black Hole Slam gets two and Abyss FREAKS. A chair gets brought in and Hoyt kicks it into his face for two. Now we get REAL proof of how stupid TNA is, as Hoyt, who is 6’9, hits a Van Terminator (the coast to coast dropkick) which looked pretty good. It gets two. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU LET HIM USE THAT MOVE AND NOT HAVE IT GET THE PIN??? Another Black Hole Slam gets the pin.

Rating: C+. As awesome as Hoyt looked here (which was pretty good actually), TNA manages to screw this up again by not letting Hoyt GET THE PIN. Abyss is a monster so a loss here isn’t going to kill him, and they’ve pretty much made Hoyt’s huge offense looks weak as he can’t get a pin. For the life of me I don’t get the thought process of this company.

We recap the Kru vs. Outlaw feud which is Kip James wanting to reform the Outlaws but the Kru saying BG is loyal to them. BG is guest referee tonight due to some complaint that there’s an unsafe working environment for the referees or something.

Monty Brown/Kip James vs. Konnan/Ron Killings

Brawl on the floor to start and it heads into the ring. I’m assuming this is part of the match as I never heard a bell. The Kru clears the ring with a kick by the Truth. Kip takes a modified What’s Up (Dudleys’ move, not some obscure Killings’ move) and the brawl goes back to the outside. We finally get started with Truth vs. Brown after Kip puts Truth down with a tilt-a-whirl slam.

Monty does the BG James shake but doesn’t drop the knee. Off to Kip who gets two off a kick to the back. A big boot allows Kip to pose and then get two. Monty comes in again for a floatover suplex. It’s chinlock time which is quickly broken, but a knee to the ribs gets two for Brown. They hit the ropes and collide so it’s time for a double tag.

Konnan cleans a few rooms and messes up a facejam on Brown. There goes the shoe but he accidentally hits BG. Fameasser doesn’t work and Konnan gets a chair. BG won’t allow it but he won’t let Kip use it either. Kip shoves him and gets punched. Konnan uses the chair and BG counts the pin. The Kru reunites post match.

Rating: C-. This was ALL angle which is fine. Konnan was much better as a mouthpiece than he was in the ring so I wasn’t thrilled with him here. The rest of it was ok, but man did Brown fall far from where he was a few months ago. The Kru would add Kip in a few weeks and then disband at the end of the year.

Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries

Aries was brought in via a fan vote which is an interesting idea. Daniels is X Champion but this is non-title. Before the match Daniels talks about Jarrett (of course) and how Jarrett has said everyone is going to be replaced. At first he thought that was crazy but then he sees Austin Aries being brought in so Daniels has to defend his turf. Aries is just a guy in trunks here but his ROH heritage is talked about.

Daniels jumps Aries to start as we hear about the other options on the poll: Jay Lethal, Roderick Strong and Matt Sydal (Evan Bourne). Aries takes him to the mat as the fans are split. A jumping middle rope back elbow gets two for Aries. They trade front facelocks and go to the floor. Aries hits that suicide dive of his to take over and we go back inside. Slingshot corkscrew splash gets two.

Austin tries to jump over Daniels in the corner but Daniels catches him in a shoulderbreaker for two. Daniels is coming up on the record for the longest reign as X Champion, which would be broken by the guy he’s wrestling at the moment. There’s a hard whip into the corner as Daniels is in control. Daniels works over the back and a tilt-a-whirl slam gets two. The fans are getting behind Aries more and more.

Split legged moonsault to the back gets two. Daniels takes forever to load up the Angel’s Wings and Aries escapes it. Aries escapes a suplex and returns a slap from Daniels. They slug it out and here comes Aries. Pendulum Elbow gets two. A running dropkick in the corner gets two. Daniels hits a Downward Spiral out of nowhere to break the momentum. BME misses and Aries kicks Daniels HARD in the face. 450 hits for two, but at least it was just touching a rope for the break. STO gets two with the feet on the ropes for Daniels. Here comes the brainbuster but Daniels reverses into the Angel’s Wings for the pin.

Rating: B-. As is always the case, I like Daniels WAY more when he’s not against Styles. Aries looked good here and he’d be back at Unbreakable before heading back to ROH for the next few years. It’s kind of surprising that he was never into the main two companies until then. Good match here but why wasn’t this for the title?

AMW says it’ll be about them vs. the Naturals and if they have to team up to take out Team Canada, that’s fine with them. Jarrett comes in again and asks for help but Storm goes off on him. AMW would join Planet Jarrett in about a month and help him win the title at a non-TNA show.

We recap Waltman vs. Lynn. Waltman injured Lynn and Lynn came back to referee a Waltman match against Styles. Lynn wouldn’t let him use a chair and it cost Waltman the match. Waltman is like 4 inches taller than Lynn. These two had the hottest feud on the indies in the early 90s which is what got Waltman his job in the WWF.

Sean Waltman vs. Jerry Lynn

This should be awesome despite Waltman’s beer gut. This is their first match in over ten years and Lynn’s first TNA match in over a year. They shake hands and it’s time to go. Lynn takes him to the mat and slaps the back of his head a bit. Waltman goes for the shoulder which was injured to put Lynn on the shelf. They slap hands again and it’s time for a test of strength.

Waltman takes him down with a wristlock and they try it again. This time Lynn takes him down with a run up the corner into an armdrag. Waltman hits a spin kick to put Lynn back down and take over. Lynn avoids a charge and sends Waltman to the floor, followed by a big old dive. Lynn charges at him for what looked like a headscissors but Waltman catches him and rams the shoulder into the post.

Waltman works on the shoulder a bit and they trade chops. A slick rollup with the legs gets two. Shark Boy is watching on the stage as Waltman hits the chinlock instead of staying on the arm. Now Chris Sabin is out to watch too. Sean wakes up and hits a shoulderbreaker for two. Sonjay Dutt is watching now. The Bronco Buster misses and Lynn sends him to the floor with a headscissors. He sets for a dive but Waltman sends him out to the floor onto the shoulder.

A dive over the top takes Lynn down but Waltman can’t follow up immediately. They go to the apron and Sean tries to suplex him in. Lynn counters into a suplex to the floor but he hurts his shoulder again. Back in and Jerry hits a missile dropkick as things speed up. Lou Thesz Press hits and Lynn hammers away. A standing rana by Waltman is countered into a powerbomb for two.

Both guys are spent here and for once I can understand it. If nothing else Lynn’s cardio can’t be all that great. Cradle Piledriver is countered by a low blow and the X-Factor gets two. Waltman is frustrated and the fans are all behind Lynn here. Lynn rolls through a top rope cross body and gets two. Standing tornado DDT gets the same. Lynn loads up a tombstone but Waltman counters into one of his own but it only gets two. Waltman tries a slam of some kind but Lynn rolls through into a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: B. Good match indeed as these two have reached a point where they can have a good match with each other out of pure memory. As always, Waltman is way more interesting when he’s against a smaller guy like Lynn. I think it was the giant killer thing that got on my nerves with him.

Waltman hugs him post match and of course turns on him because that’s what Sean Waltman does. He hits a shoulder breaker as Tenay overreacts like only he can. Waltman drapes the shoulder over the railing and hits it with a chair. The other X guys come out for the save as I guess they were looking for a good Turkish restaurant or something.

Team Canada says that they’re at a disadvantage but Eric needs to calm down. D’Amore is healing from some injury so they have his hockey stick instead.

We recap the Naturals/AMW vs. Team Canada. In essence it’s two teams that want to fight but Team Canada won’t leave them alone. Kind of a weak feud but it’s better than nothing.

Team Canada vs. America’s Most Wanted/The Naturals

Team Canada is Roode/Young/A-1/Williams. The Naturals are tag champions and AMW’s big rivals. Douglas and Young start things off and we get Canadian miscommunication. Off to Stevens and we get American communication. Petey comes in off the top but jumps into a punch to the ribs. Storm comes in for the Eye of the Storm on Williams but Roode gets in a shot to the back to break the momentum.

Williams comes in as we’re in the leg work period. Storm hits a clothesline and tags in Harris who cleans house. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Eric and it’s off to Chase again. Stevens tries to jump over Eric in the corner but jumps into a low blow. Back to Canadian control with the chinlock by Roode. Young comes in again and Stevens punches him in the corner.

A Canadian poke to the eye lets Young go up but Stevens stops him. A big kick to the head sends Young down off the top and out to the floor. Hot tag brings in Douglas who cleans house. Back to Stevens and they hit the Natural Disaster on Young as everything breaks down. It’s time for the Parade of Finishers and Harris hits a HUGE dive to take out all four Canadians and Stevens at once.

Back in the ring Roode sets up a German superplex (there’s one you don’t see every day) but Harris powerbombs Roode down and brings Stevens with him. Hockey stick is brought in by Eric but it can’t connect. Storm throws Young to the floor with a nice hiptoss but Roode grabs a rollup for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. This was fine. With so many people in there it could only get so good but it keeps the Americans feuding and gives the Canadians a reason to get back into the tag title hunt. That dive by Harris was pretty cool too. When he didn’t have a huge gut on him he could go pretty well. Decent little match.

Samoa Joe says nothing so Shane Douglas gets in his face and demands respect. Are you kidding me? Joe says the respect Shane gets is not getting slapped in the face.

We recap the Super X Cup which is an X-Division tournament with the winner getting a shot at Daniels at the next PPV. In other words, it was a way for Joe to run through a bunch of guys in a row and face AJ in the finals.

Super X Cup Finals: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

The first of many meetings. Daniels is sitting in on commentary. Joe tries to take him to the mat but AJ gets out. The fans are split of course. They trade kicks to the thigh and AJ gets the worst of that. AJ slams him down and drops a knee for two. Joe hits a hard kick and a wicked running knee smash to send Styles to the floor. There’s the suicide dive and AJ is in trouble.

Back inside AJ hooks a headlock. This is being treated like a clash of the titans and it’s working really well so far. Joe tries a high kick but Styles does a standing backflip to avoid it. Into the corner goes Joe but AJ charges into a release Rock Bottom. A running knee to the head gets two. Joe hooks a chinlock as this has to slow down a bit. AJ tries to speed things up but Joe hits his powerbomb into the crab into the STF sequence.

AJ comes back with the dropdown into the dropkick and the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up and they slug it out on the top with Joe getting knocked down. He tries the Clash but can’t get him up. A slingshot Swanton gets two. Joe goes WAY old school with a Texas Tumbleweed (rolling rollup. It’s a Terry Funk move) and a HARD clothesline for two. The fans are way into this and I can’t blame them. This is getting awesome.

They trade forearms and AJ goes off on him, knocking him into the corner. Joe charges right back at him with strikes to knock AJ into the corner but AJ hits a big kick to the head to put both guys down. AJ sends him into the corner and manages a torture rack but the referee gets bumped. Daniels comes in and hits an STO on Styles. Dang it TNA QUIT OVERDOING IT! Joe stares him down and AJ clotheslines Daniels to the floor. The distraction lets Joe hit the MuscleBuster and the Clutch gives Joe the win.

Rating: A-. OH MAN Daniels brought this thing down. I was getting WAY into this match at the end with those near falls but then Daniels has to interfere and screw it up. Now to be fair that set up the threeway at Unbreakable, but dang man these two were tearing the house down. I was totally buying the idea of Styles giving this everything he had and Joe being the new hot deal that no one could stop. And then they screwed it up with Daniels. I’d love to have a clean ending for once in this company, but it’s a Russo company so that’s not going to happen.

Raven talks about how Jarrett needs the title but it’s Raven’s destiny to be champion.

We recap Raven/Sabu vs. Jarrett/Rhyno. Raven won the title at Slammiversary and Jarrett can’t take it. Rhyno came in and Raven needed help, so he brought in Sabu. This was also tied into the idea of Jarrett saying that there would be another Black Wednesday. He’s referring to a day where WWE cut 17 midcard guys and the Dudleys’ contracts expired. This would lead to the resurgence of Planet Jarrett which had EVERYONE in it.

Raven/Sabu vs. Rhyno/Jeff Jarrett

If Jarrett pins Raven, he gets a title shot. If Raven pins Jarrett, Jarrett doesn’t get a shot for a year. Raven and Jarrett start things off and it’s off to Rhyno in just a few seconds. They head to the floor and Raven hits a Russian legsweep into the barricade. West asks what happens if anyone else gets a fall and Tenay has no idea. Off to Rhyno vs. Sabu and Rhyno gets caught in the camel clutch very quickly.

Everything breaks down quickly and Jarrett is thrown over the announce desk. Raven busts out a pizza cutter to slice on Jarrett’s head. There are some trashcan shots to the head as Jarrett is busted open. In the ring Sabu hits a rana on Sabu followed by one off the middle rope. Jarrett gets in a chair shot to Sabu for two. Rhyno gets one of his own for the same result. Jeff is just covered in blood.

Sabu hits a flip dive to take Rhyno down and there’s the tag to the champion. Raven cleans house on both guys and hits the DDT on Rhyno but Jarrett makes the save. Jarrett tries the guitar but Cassidy Riley, a really interesting idea as he loved Raven and wanted to be just like him, even down to dressing like him, comes out to take it away. Stroke gets two on the champ.

It’s Rhyno vs. Raven now and Rhyno bites on his head to bust him open. Jarrett comes in for a figure four but Raven turns it over. The drop toehold onto the chair is broken up as Raven grabs the chair and pelts it at Jarrett. Tag to Sabu as things break down again. Sabu hits the triple jump legdrop on Rhyno for two. Out to the floor where Sabu dives on Rhyno again.

Back in the ring the drop toehold sends Raven into the chair for two. DDT takes down Jarrett but Rhyno makes the save. Sabu saves a pin after a Gore but the referee goes down too. A running chair shot takes down Rhyno but there’s no referee. There’s a table at ringside and Sabu sets to send Rhyno through it, but here’s Abyss to put Sabu through it instead. Jeff Hardy comes out (wasn’t he supposed to be here earlier?) and gives Jarrett the Twist and Swanton but it only gets two for Raven. There’s a table in the corner now and as Raven is setting for the DDT, Rhyno gores him through it for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was fun and I’m glad they went with the hardcore stuff, but there was no way they could follow Styles vs. Joe. Also the run-ins got annoying but that was obvious coming in. This would set up Rhyno vs. Raven at Unbreakable in what I remember being a decent match, which again didn’t stand a chance to be remember after what closes the show. Still though, pretty fun match here, but the stipulation didn’t mean much of anything.

Overall Rating: B+. This is one of the better shows I can remember TNA having. There’s your great match and it set up the next show pretty well, and on top of that there was almost nothing bad on the whole thing. They pushed Joe to the moon, back when the X-Division actually meant something. Very good show here and that’s a very nice surprise.

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ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: July 25, 2006
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re in Detroit tonight and the challenger of the week is Kane in an Extreme Rules match. That’s an interesting idea as there’s no better way to have someone built up as a monster than by having them run through people, especially when the regular roster has nothing they could throw at him for a reasonable challenge yet. Also tonight there’s more in the Knox vs. Sandman feud which I’m sure you’re all dying for. Let’s get to it.

After a quick intro about Show vs. Kane we hit the theme song.

Knox and Sandman are in the ring to start and Knox gives us a montage of Kelly’s dances. However, Kelly can never take her clothes off again after the cane shot last week, which we see. Knox claims that he didn’t abandon Kelly but rather was in the back getting the EMTs.

Mike Knox vs. Sandman

Sandman busts himself open with a beer can on the way to the ring. Knox goes off on Sandman with right hands but Sandman comes back with the legsweep. He gets the cane and goes to swing it at Knox but Kelly gets in the way. Sandman stops himself but Test comes in for the DQ win for Sandman.

Dreamer jumps Knox and Test in the back.

Heyman is talking to Sabu (kind of) and says that Sabu won’t get the title match he wants with Show. Heyman tells Sabu to leave. He keeps walking and runs into Guido, who he yells at for doing nothing. The security guards beat him up and Heyman says Guido’s match is next.

CM Punk says he hasn’t been handed anything. He’s from the streets and he debuts next week.

The Vampire vs. Little Guido

The Vampire would later be known as Kevin Thorn. Guido is dragged to the ring by the security guards. The Vampire destroys Guido and Ariel the tarot card girl gets on the apron and sucks his fingers. A modified powerbomb puts Guido down again and an elevated Stunner (think Orton’s DDT) kills him. Razor’s Edge ends this. Guido never got his vest off.

Video on Kane.

Shannon Moore still has nothing to say.

Justin Credible vs. Balls Mahoney

Balls starts fast and pounds Justin into the corner. Off to a neck crank as Tazz and Joey talk about how insane Mahoney is. Justin tries to run but gets caught by the ears. Back in Justin drops some legs and a running release tornado DDT for two. Northern lights suplex gets two.

Off to a kindof seated abdominal stretch and then to a regular knee to the back chinlock. Balls hooks a suplex to get out of it and the punches get two. Justin tries a slide into the corner but crotches himself on the post. He whips Mahoney into the corner and dropkicks him into the referee. A reverse DDT hits but there’s no referee for Justin so he goes and gets a chair. Balls steals the chair and clocks Credible with it for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much of anything and the ending didn’t help it. For some reason Credible was a total jobber in ECW despite being a long reigning world champion in the original incarnation. Mahoney was mainly a tag wrestler but was getting a pretty significant push in this version. He’s more interesting though so I can’t complain there.

Mahoney clocks the referee with the chair post match.

Show wants to know why he can’t fight Sabu. Heyman says don’t worry about it.

Vote in the Diva Search! If there was a mention of something like that in the original ECW, riots would break out.

Angle is back next week.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Big Show

Kane fires off some clotheslines but is thrown up and over to the floor on the third attempt. Oh and this is Extreme Rules. Kane sends him into the post and throws some weapons into the ring. Show knocks him back down and we take a break. Back with Kane down in the ring and Show stalking him. Kane gets up and hits a chair shot to take Show down. The chair is wedged between the ropes in the corner and Kane slugs away.

According to the laws of wrestling, Kane goes face first into the chair that he set up. Show goes up for a Vader Bomb but Kane hits him low and a belly to back superplex puts both guys down. They slap it out from their knees and then punch it out on their feet. Kane knocks him into the corner and hits a running clothesline. He lost his elbow pads in this somewhere.

Here comes a chokeslam but Show grabs one of his own which only gets two. Not much of a surprise on the kickout either, as in the crowd didn’t seem to care. Show gets a table and sets it up on the floor and then a second one. He sets for a suplex over the top but Kane guillotines him on the top rope. A trio of chair shots knocks Show off the apron and through the tables.

Heyman and the security come out to try to tell Show that he needs to shake it off. I think Show is busted open. Kane tries to get Show back in the ring and DANG that’s a good cut. Kane goes up but jumps into a chokeslam but Kane counters into a DDT for two. Heyman put the foot under the rope to break it up so Kane goes after the boss. That allows Show to hit Kane in the back with a chair and chokeslam him onto it to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY better than I was expecting here as it was about beating each other up which is the whole appeal of battles of monsters like this. Kane moved around in this and his power was enough to make you believe that a title change was possible. It was very unlikely but it was possible. Good match and a nice surprise.

Sabu comes in and lays out Big Show with a variety of chair shots.

Overall Rating: C. This was one of the first times where you could feel part of a running story throughout the show which is what this show has been lacking. Until now it’s come off as more like a collection of segments and then a long main event. Now we’re actually getting some stories together and the show is a lot more interesting as a result.

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ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: July 11, 2006
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Welcome to the rest of ECW. After last week, there was no way that this could be considered ECW anymore so we’re now in whatever you want to call this. Big Show is champion and he’s supported by the EVIL Heyman, which is WWE all the way. There isn’t much else to say but the show is going to be old vs. new now. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event from last week.

Flair vs. Big Show for the ECW Title later. This isn’t going to get any easier.

Here’s Heyman who says he made sure RVD lost the title last week. Don’t blame him though, because it’s the fans’ fault. It’s the people’s fault that RVD got suspended for thirty days. It’s their fault that he had such a rigorous schedule and it’s their cheers that made him jump off the top. Heyman talks about the sacrifices he made for ECW and how he’s the savior of the company. He’ll do things like this if it saves the fans and he’ll do it for the good of ECW. That isn’t really an explanation but that’s too much to ask for.

Heyman and his security leave and run into Dreamer. He wants an explanation but Dreamer has a match immediately so Heyman doesn’t have time to explain.

Raw ad, on an ECW show. It’s a different company remember.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Test

Dreamer is in street clothes. Test slaps him so Dreamer goes crazy on him. They go to the floor where Test rams his back into the post to take over. Test whips him into the corner and stomps him down as this is looking like a squash. A backbreaker sets up a bearhug which is broken pretty quickly. Tommy hits a pair of neckbreakers but the DDT is countered into a full nelson slam. The top rope elbow misses and Dremer tries the DVD. Test slips off the shoulders and rolls Dreamer up, putting his feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: D. If they really think this is how the new brand was going to get over, they were idiots. At the end of the day, this is Test, the same guy that wasn’t over from 2001-2005, so they keep pushing him anyway. Nothing to see here and Dreamer was treated like a jobber the whole time of course, which is one of the few things they’ve gotten right.

Candace says her expose will be hot.

Kelly and Candance do a dance together. At least the song is different. Knox does his usual stop but Sandman pops up to hit him with the cane. My goodness it’s an actual story.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn are creepy.

Punk talks about how his tattoos tell a story. Seriously, get to him already. He’s WAY better than this.

Sabu vs. Justin Credible

Sabu was hyped up for the first half of the show so this should be a squash. Sabu goes straight at him and knocks Justin to the floor where he looks for a weapon. That goes badly for him as Sabu hits a flip dive to the floor. Slingshot legdrop gets two back in the ring. Sabu heads to the floor and loads up a broken table, which he puts Justin through after a brief fight for the DQ. Yeah a DQ in ECW. Next.

Balls Mahoney is a little bit nuts. His words not, mine.

Flair says he’ll win his 17th title tonight. Foley needs to grow some balls as well.

Shannon Moore (not named) is freaky looking.

ECW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Big Show

Extreme Rules again. Show throws him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Flair pounding away in the corner. Joey calls this historic. Not exactly the word I’d use but whatever. Show press slams him and Flair is busted open from something. Knowing him it was a stiff breeze. Flair tries chopping him but gets knocked down by one from Show. They head to the floor for another slugout, won by Show.

To keep up the tradition, Flair chops and punches but Show chops him down with one or two shots. Show measures him but Flair hits him low. Keeping with the tradition theme, Flair hits him low a second and third time. Make it four and Show is in trouble. Flair finds a barbed wire ball bat from somewhere and hits Show in the head with it before digging it into Show’s face.

Trashcan shot to the head staggers Show as does a chair to the chest and back. Show goes down but it only gets two. Flair busts out some tacks and knocks Show into them with about five chair shots to the head. That just ticks him off though so he pulls Flair into the chokeslam and a cobra clutch backbreaker. He keeps the clutch on for the knockout win. Show throws Flair into the tacks post match.

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to. Flair is still a master of making you believe that it could happen, which is what he did here. Also, notice that he puts Show over by making it look like Show shrugged off all that offense and won with ease. That’s hot you make someone look good, which Flair made a career out of.

Flair is helped out to end the show. That and replays ate up the last three minutes.

Overall Rating: C. I think this was the best show of the first batch of them, and that’s not saying much. The show was ok with the main event being a highlight, but it’s much better because the idea that this is the rebirth of ECW is forgotten now. Instead the ECW Title is the third WWE Title, making it a much easier show to book. The opening was weak as was the rest of the show other than the main event, but I really dug that match. Watchable show, but nothing great.

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ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: June 27, 2006
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re back with the third episode here and the main event here is Angle vs. RVD in what’s probably going to get a majority of this show. Vengeance has passed and RVD is still world champion. Something major would happen between the end of tonight’s show and the beginning of next week’s though, but we’ll get to that later. Let’s get to it.

We immediately begin with a match.

Roadkill vs. Sabu

Roadkill is a big Amish guy known as the Angry Amish Chicken Plucker. This is Extreme Rules. Sabu tries a very quick camel clutch but Roadkill gets to the rope before it’s on. Jumping DDT takes Roadkill down and it’s chair time. He loads up the Triple Jump Moonsault but Roadkill slams Sabu’s head into the chair. Neckbreaker gets two. Roadkill goes for a table but Sabu uses the chair as a springboard to dive over the top to take Roadkill down, landing on his head in the process.

Bossman Slam and a Vader Bomb Elbow get two for Roadie. Sabu is put on the table but Roadie goes up, allowing Sabu to pelt the chair at Roadkill’s balls. Top rope rana gets two. Now he pelts the chair at Roadkill’s head and the Arabian Facebuster puts Roadie through the table. Camel Clutch looks to finish but Sabu hits him with a chair a few more times first, then finishes with the Clutch.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this is what ECW is all about so having at least some of this on each show was a requirement at the beginning. Also having ECW guys on the show was a good idea as they were at least looking like ECW before they changed everything up and made it into WWE 3.

Kevin Thorn is still outside.

Here’s Dreamer who calls out Big Show to give him another beating. Seriously, he thanks Show for the beating and asks for another, ala the cane shots from Sandman WAY back in the day. Just like last week, it’s not a match but rather just a beating by Big Show. I’m not sure what else to say about this.

Mike Knox (not yet named) looks at Kelly’s chest and says it’s only for him. She’ll be in his corner tonight.

Angle says that he hates himself for not being champion. If he wins tonight, he gets a title shot at SNME. Failure is not an option when your name is Kurt Angle.

Danny Doring vs. Mike Knox

Doring fires off some right hands but Knox hits a Sky High for two. Some fan calls Kelly over to strip for him so Knox kills him. He sends Kelly to the back, kicks Doring’s head off and gets the pin with a spinning Downward Spiral. Total squash.

Test is still coming.

We recap what we saw 90 seconds ago with Knox and the fan.

Kelly dances to the same song from last week and Knox stops her from revealing too much. Ok then. This takes like three minutes. When you have an hour long show, that’s WAY too long.

Here’s Big Dick Johnson as Fat Ugly Male Stripper to get beaten up by Sandman. It’s nonsense like this that made people hate this show.

Heyman explains triple threats to RVD. If Angle wins tonight, it’s a fatal fourway at SNME. RVD says it’s ok because he’s been smoking lately. He meant that literally I think.

Edge and Lita show up and throw out some fans.

After a break, Tazz talks to Edge who says he’ll win the title because he’s the Whole F’N Show. That triple threat would be moved to Raw I believe.

Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

This is non-title. Angle takes him to the mat almost immediately and the fans sound like they want Cena. They slug it out in the corner and Rob hits his rolling monkey flip. Rob grabs a front facelock and off to the windmill kick. He goes up top but Kurt shoves him off the top and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Kurt holding a chinlock. Off to a body scissors as this has been all Kurt since the break.

Rob fights up but Kurt snaps off a German and it’s back to the chinlock. Van Dam fights out again and hits a spinwheel kick off the ropes to put both guys down. A springboard kick takes Kurt down but Kurt immediately grabs his legs and drives Rob into the corner. A big suplex counters a kick and gets two. Angle Slam is countered but Kurt rolls through into a failed ankle lock attempt.

Another German hits but is the release version this time. Now it’s the ankle lock but Rob rolls through very quickly and superkicks Kurt down for a delayed two. The top rope kick is caught in the ankle lock but he makes the rope and throws Kurt to the floor. Back in a slingshot legdrop gets two. Small package gets two for Kurt. Rob kicks him down but misses Rolling Thunder and the ankle lock is attempted again. Van Dam kicks him off and hits the Split Legged Moonsault for two. Rob kicks him down and goes up but gets suplexed down for two. Slam is countered by a tornado DDT and the Five Star gets the clean pin.

Rating: B. My goodness it was a clean pin. That’s something you never see in a big match anymore so it was a nice thing to see here. Putting Rob over the big deal that came to ECW is a good thing, as it says that while Angle is the new monster, RVD is still the champion. Good match with Van Dam using the one weapon he had that worked until he could splash him for the pin.

Edge spears Rob to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. So let’s see: Sabu squash, Kelly dances and gets covered up, Sandman beats up a comedy character, WWE guys end the show. This sounds very familiar and that’s not a good sign. However next week everything would change as Rob and Sabu would get arrested for drug possession and Van Dam would drop both titles. Also a new guy would debut that I think you might have heard of.

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ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: June 20, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

This is going to be the new series that I do and since I already posted the first episode of it, here’s the second. This is when the show was still live and in theory, they actually had a clue as to what they were doing. Like I said that’s in theory so I wouldn’t put a lot of stock into it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a fortune teller who would become known as Ariel talking about Raw last night. ECW invaded and basically took over the show with Sabu destroying Cena. There’s a main event tag tonight.

Drowning Pool gets us going.

Oh and Vengeance is the Sunday after this so there were only two weeks between PPVs.

Sabu vs. Tony Mamaluke

Makaluke is in the FBI and has the scantily clad Trinity from TNA with him. Sabu dives for the knee and drops an elbow for two. Mamaluke comes back with a belly to back suplex for two. Springboard Air Sabu gets two. Out to the floor and Sabu grabs a chair and hits a triple jump plancha. A table gets set up but Tony makes a comeback and hits Sabu with the chair. He tries to come off the top but Sabu throws the chair at Mamaluke to knock him out of the air. Sabu puts him through the table and a Camel Clutch ends this.

Rating: D+. Energetic match here as Sabu was much better in WWE than he was in ECW. If nothing else, he didn’t botch half of the moves that he was trying. Also, it’s nice to see an actual match for the opener instead of Sandman vs. a zombie like we saw last week, whatever that was.

Kelly is an exhibitionist but last week she couldn’t get her bra off. This week she’ll be able to.

RVD says that he’s in a tag match tonight and he’s excited for it. It’s him/Angle vs. Edge/Orton.

Big Show vs. Tommy Dreamer

Apparently this isn’t a match. Dreamer praises Show for being dominant last week but says that if Show wants to mean something in ECW, he has to go through Dreamer. Dreamer slaps him and the pain begins. This isn’t a match but rather just a long beating. Why it’s not a match is probably because it’s ECW and things are different here I guess.

Vengeance preview focuses on DX.

Kevin Thorn, a vampire, is outside.

Sandman vs. Macho Libre

Remember the movie Nacho Libre? This is a guy in the same costume imitating Randy Savage. He even does a promo in Spanish in a Savage voice. Well that’s….different. Sandman comes in (with an inset promo talking about nothing in particular) and wins with the legsweep in about 35 seconds.

Cena has arrived and Heyman says it’s time for action.

Heyman tells the ECW guys to be ready for Cena. Cena pops in (getting the loudest face reaction of the show) and wants Sabu in an Extreme Lumberjack match, with the ECW guys being the lumberjacks this coming Sunday. Sabu says deal, breaking one of the major rules of ECW: SABU DOESN’T TALK!

Kelly (not Kelly Kelly yet, just Kelly) dances to a Snoop Dogg song. Oh and she’s a Vixen, which is what ECW calls its girls. She dances for awhile and finally takes her top off but as she goes to take her bra off, Mike Knox debuts and covers her up.

Test is coming to ECW.

Edge/Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle/Rob Van Dam

This is inter-promotional apparently. It’s also the first time Orton and Edge have teamed up. Edge starts with Angle and Kurt takes him to the mat with a double leg almost immediately. Off to Van Dam who crotches Orton and hits the flying kick to send Orton to the floor. This is ECW Rules. Ok then. A moonsault to the floor takes Orton down again. Orton gets in a shot as they come back in and it’s off to Edge.

Edge takes a kick in the face as well but Lita pulls the top rope down to prevent Rolling Thunder. Back with RVD and Edge slugging it out. Edge takes him down and it’s back to Orton. RVD gets thrown to the floor as the fans call Lita a sl**. Back to Orton who hits a dropkick and then brings the Canadian back in. Van Dam gets in a kick and brings in Angle for Rolling Germans.

There’s a German for the Canadian from the American and Kurt hooks the ankle lock on Randy. Edge makes the save but jumps into a belly to belly. Kurt loads up the Angle Slam on Edge but Orton clips him and focuses on the knee. Back to Edge who gets two but Angle hooks a rear naked choke that he was using at this time. Lita saves and the fans think she’s a crack w****.

Orton comes in and Kurt grabs a quick ankle lock but Edge saves and comes back in. Angle snaps off a German and both guys are down. There’s the tag to Van Dam who cleans house. He kicks Edge down and dives outside onto Orton. Rob grabs a chair and blasts Orton with it from the apron, only to be knocked into the table by Edge. Angle grabs the ankle lock on Edge then “Angle Slams” Lita. He walks into an RKO but Van Dam kicks Orton’s head off. Rolling Thunder is broken up again by Edge but as Edge tries the spear, Rob rams him in the head with a belt. Five Star gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good main event style tag match here which is a good way to close the show. At the end of the day though, you have one ECW original and three WWE guys out there. It’s not like that bombed in the Invasion or anything but hey, that was five years before this so we can’t expect WWE to remember something like that right?

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad show overall and WAY better than the first one. The problem here though is WAY too much emphasis on WWE guys while Rob and Sabu are the only ECW guys being given anything significant to do. That’s the problem you get when you treat all the outsiders like jobbers, but then again the Alliance was five years ago so who can remember that?

Here’s Vengeance if you’re interested:

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Vengeance 2006
Date: June 25, 2006
Location: Charlotte Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

ECW is back. That’s the main thing here. They’ve been back for two weeks now and RVD is the WWE Champion, defending tonight against Edge. However, the main event is of course DX vs. the Spirit Squad since the title match can’t go on last right? There’s also Flair vs. Foley in a 2/3 falls match in a feud that is somewhat forgotten for some reason. Also tonight is the “blowoff” to the Imposter Kane angle that was just stupid as. That’s a pretty decent card already so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cena vs. Sabu which is an Extreme Lumberjack Match which something tells me isn’t going to be that good. Now we talk about Edge vs. RVD which was where just about everyone was saying the title would change.

Also as a random thing, this is right around the time when the latest incarnation of Wrestlezone came into being. Now we talk about DX. They’re hitting on the main angles here which at least makes sense. This was the beginning of DX vs. Vince which was such a painful angle to watch.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

In 2006, this opens a show. In 2010 it would be a dream match. Angle was on ECW at this point and Angle called out anyone in any kind of ring (four sides, six sides or eight sides) for a fight at One Night Stand. Orton took him up on it after Angle broke his ankle like two months earlier. He’s kind of a face here but not entirely. Angle is an “enemy” here so he’s supposed to be the heel I guess.

He has a remix of his normal music here and it sucks to put it nicely. He would be in TNA in the fall. Angle goes to the mat early as you would expect him to. King is very pro-Orton here as you would expect I guess. Angle tries to German Orton off the apron through the table and the angle that Angle is standing up and holding on at is amazing with his whole body hanging over the floor and just his feet touching the apron.

He’s holding onto Orton and the image is great. Orton throws a weak dropkick but of course according to Lawler it’s textbook. Ross says Orton likes to use a chinlock. That’s what we call an understatement as around this time he used it more than he ever does today. Lawler doesn’t get why the fans are cheering for Angle as he’s ECW now.

They’re doing the same thing that they messed up WCW with as they assume no one could like anything but the home product and it makes the fans sound stupid and the announcers incredibly stupid. I don’t know why but I love that jumping knee drop Orton does. Angle has an ECW mouth guard which ticks Lawler off to no end. He’s doing his job well here and I don’t know how to take that.

It’s pretty much all Orton at this point. Angle does the pop up second rope belly to belly which is more or less a slam but whatever. Angle Slam of course doesn’t work and this is a pretty good opener. We get an old classic as the turnbuckle is loosened. Angle hits EIGHT GERMANS IN A ROW. Orton is of course, dead. Angle may be a headcase but he can do some amazing stuff when he needs to. Ankle lock is hooked and Randy is in trouble. Orton does the flip forward and it sends Angle into the buckle. RKO ends it.

Rating: B-. This was a match you wouldn’t expect for an opener but I liked it. They were kind of just going through the motions out there but at the same time that’s all you need to do sometimes to have a good match. This isn’t a pairing you see that often and given that I was pleased. I’d like to see more from them and a clean finish so that’s a good sign. Also, Burn in My Light is a sweet song.

Vince is on the phone and says vengeance will be his. A kid in a DX shirt in a wheelchair comes in. I don’t remember this angle or anything so maybe this is a one off thing. Vince FREAKS and yells about all the things DX put him through on Monday night and I think I know where this is going.

Yep Vince shoves him out of the office and a crashing sound is heard. Coach comes in and says a family member is here that was wanting to just meet Vince and maybe get an autograph. Vince is fine with it and, say it with me, it was the kid. The skit writing back in this day was pretty shall we say BAD.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Umaga is brand new at this point having debuted in April at Backlash. For no apparent reason, Eugene has Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown and Kamala with him. What. You don’t get the connection? Estrada does the intro for Umaga as usual. I remember him as Osama in OVW and I never saw that much from him really. His voice was solid though.

Apparently Eugene can bring all the help he wants and it won’t matter. Umaga went from fighting Flair on PPV to fighting Eugene. Wow that’s kind of a letdown. When Duggan and the other guys come out, the look on Umaga’s face clearly says “the heck have I done to deserve this?” It’s the Steve Lombardi version of Doink here. The fans chant USA when Umaga is from AMERICAN Samoa and was born in California.

Duggan gets the fans to cheer for Eugene and it does nothing. The magic thumb ends it. Umaga wouldn’t lose until early January. The legends were completely worthless here. Duggan gets a thumb afterwards. So does Doink. Kamala, who I don’t think has ever won a match, doesn’t get a chance to fight because Estrada says he’s too nuts for Umaga to fight. They would have a match on Raw soon and guess what happened.

Rating: N/A. Nothing wrong with a PPV squash, but Eugene and a later match with Kamala? Really?

Grisham is with a heel Mick Foley. This was a different kind of feud based on real life drama between the two. Foley says we’re going to have a real life book reading here. Foley says Flair’s book is a novel and not an autobiography.

He reads stuff about how Foley isn’t a real legend because he’s stayed around too long as a freak show attraction. That’s absolutely hysterical at this point in time as Foley has stayed out of the ring other than to put people over…and win the TNA Title for no apparent reason…while Flair is a caricature of himself at this point.

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

This is 2/3…DANGLillian is gorgeous. She’s got her stomach showing and it’s all skinny and flat. Dang she looks great. Anyway it’s 2/3 falls. Foley is of course hated since we’re in Flair’s hometown. Flair gets a solid pop but something tells me this isn’t going to be as good as their Summerslam match. Foley does a technical sequence to start just to prove a point. Well there’s some thought in there at least. Foley does a strut and makes me smile.

Foley goes for the sock and it looks like Flair. Those are always funny. Flair, the ultimate ladies man, grabs Foley’s balls to counter. Sure why not. FLAIR HITS THE TOP ROPE AXE HANDLE! HOLY CRAP! He hurts his knee though so Foley goes after it. Flair drops an F Bomb but it gets censored. Foley goes for a figure four but Flair hooks a small package for the first fall.

Flair starts going off and we’re going into the crowd which doesn’t work that well as Flair doesn’t follow him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before but it worked. Fans are all over Foley as he pulls out a trash can. He tries to blast Foley in the head with it but Flair hooks a figure four.

He gets the trash can and blasts Flair with it, ending this match in like seven minutes in two straight falls. Uh, ok? Foley pulls out a barbed wire ball bat and Flair is of course busted open. Foley beats him up even more which sets up the I Quit match at Summerslam.

Rating: D-. Uh…yeah. I have no idea what the point of this was, but it failed miserably. Foley looks like a failure and Flair bleeds more. What was the point to this again? Like I said, the rematch is much better. This was just a strange choice all around and it didn’t work at all for me.

Maria is with Carlito and discusses a coolness paradox makes Carlito stop in mid bite. Funnier than it sounds. Torrie Wilson walks up in a swimsuit and asks Carlito to rub oil on her. Yeah the comedy was just off around this time. Maria rubs oil on her and vice versa. And it’s time for his match. Was there a point to this at all?

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro

Shelton is champion here and is a heel at the moment. This match was on the history of the IC Title DVD for seemingly no reason but the more I thought about it the more it makes sense. We have three midcard guys here that have no chance of being world champion at this point and need the credibility. A match like this is a great way to let them get over and gives them something to go after. It’s perfect and sums up what the title is supposed to be about.

The winner of this would feud with Jeff Hardy for awhile then Umaga, and then Santino would win it and cripple the belt for years until Jericho and Rey recently helped save it. Nitro is Morrison as you likely know. Melina is with him and is just freaking yummy looking. They’re going with the old school one on one formula here which is fine I guess. Carlito hits a nice dive to the floor to take everyone out and get the crowd awake. Good night Melina can freaking scream.

It’s so sad to see Carlito doing all kinds of flips and impressive looking stuff considering the levels of laziness he would reach in the future. Shelton catches Nitro’s flip into a powerbomb position and just falls backwards into a snake eyes for a great move. Even Ross is bragging about Carlito. There are some nice triple and double person spots in this thing. Lawler says that Melina is a bit upset by Nitro getting crotched.

In an AMAZING spot that gets a well deserved HOLY CRAP chant, Nitro is in the Tree of Woe, Carlito is standing on the top, Shelton jumps from the mat to the top, Shelton hooks Carlito in a suplex as Nitro does a massive sit-up to hook Shelton in a powerbomb. That looked awesome. Shelton takes a Backstabber, called the Backcracker here but Nitro pulls him out and gets the pin and the title in a steal. Nice way to end a good match.

Rating: B. I really liked this one as it was very fast paced and a great example of three guys being given a chance and showing off with it. This one worked very well and is probably the best match of the night so far, although not by much. This was a very fun match though and worked.

Spirit Squad is getting fired up and Vince comes in to be uninteresting, comparing DX to bird flu. And after they leave he takes a special pump into a bathroom….and it blows up like a bomb in a freaking Wile E. Coyote cartoon. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

We recap Edge vs. RVD, which was set up by RVD winning the title at ONS with the help of Edge. Edge then challenged RVD and speared him which is all we need here. Yeah the buildup was kind of weak.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge

And yes this goes on 5th with the Kane match, Cena vs. Sabu and the Spirit Squad going on after the world title match. Let that sink in a bit. I love that One of a Kind song. Lillian says he is the champion with no WWE or ECW thing in there. That’s a bit odd. We get a long feeling out process and then a Phil Mickelson reference. Ok then. This is a very physical match here and they’re doing a bunch of big spots and a lot of stuff on the floor, including a sunset flip into a powerbomb on the floor.

Ross calls out Lawler for making everything about sex. He’s absolutely right too. We finally slow things down with a bow and arrow hold on RVD. They’re beating each other up here so I’ll give them points for that. Edge powerbombs RVD onto the railing in a very painful looking spot. Edge is working over the back for the most part here so we have a story in the thing resembling insanity. When did Edge start using a big boot?

A lot of the time you forget how big he is but he’s a big man. The fans are split here as it feels like we’re coming towards the end here. I love that one footed kick Van Dam uses. Rolling Thunder and Van Dam still won’t cover. I’m not sure if this match is good or not.

Van Dam hits the Van Daminator with the belt but Van Dam gets crotched by Lita. The referee is down in case you didn’t get it. Edge hits the Orton DDT and Van Dam is out. Lita holds up a chair for Edge to spear him into and you can figure out the result there. The Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. It was physical, I’ll give it that. Other than that though, there isn’t much here I don’t think. It was ok and even better than ok, but having it in the middle of the show makes it seem like nothing at all. This was a nearly 20 minute match and as you can see I didn’t have a ton to say about it. It’s not that it was bad, but it just wasn’t that interesting and there wasn’t much that felt like it should be written about.

Also, it’s not like there was any secret that the title picture would involve Cena and it did very soon. Van Dam would get caught with pot (shocking isn’t it) soon after this and lose to Edge in a triple threat on Raw. He held the belt three weeks, which is still saying a lot for him.

The ECW locker room celebrates. Yeah there’s an ECW locker room for two ECW guys wrestling. Ah there’s lumberjacks. Got it.

Ad for the ECW TV show set to clips of the original ECW. That’s just amusing.

Kane vs. Kane

This is one of the most infamously stupid angles ever. Kane is facing a guy that looks like he used to. Basically Kane was in a bad movie called See No Evil and somehow it brought a guy from his past to WWE who dressed like he used to or something. Kane knew who he was but they never told us that or anything so whatever. He was played by the guy now known as Luke Gallows. I’ll refer to them as real and fake here.

Real dominates early which doesn’t last very long. Real goes for the mask and doesn’t get it of course. Only HHH could manage to do that. And there are the boring chants. Ah look a chinlock. Ross says Kane is at a disadvantage because he doesn’t know who he’s wrestling despite saying Kane knew the imposter earlier.

Ross says it’s been an ugly match. Yeah I’d agree. Is this supposed to be good or to make sense? Real hits something like a throw off the top but it was more or less closer to an over the shoulder slam than anything else. Just end this please. Fake hits a chokeslam and does Kane’s old pin to end it.

Rating: F+. Oh do I even need to explain this? The match was worse than the angle. Kane would beat the imposter up on Raw soon and take the mask, ending anything of this angle. Yeah it’s bad.

Ad for the Flair DVD which is just amazing.

We recap Cena vs. Sabu which is Cena complaining about a lack of rules then saying he liked it. So he showed up on the debut of ECW, thereby completely screwing up the idea of the show.

John Cena vs. Sabu

This is an EXTREME LUMBERJACK MATCH which sounds like something off a bad video game. The lumberjacks are Viscera, Trevor Murdoch, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Snitsky, Matt Striker, Charlie Haas, Val Venis, Tommy Dreamer, Balls Mahoney, Stevie Richards, Little Guido Maritato, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Justin Credible, Al Snow, and The Sandman. Let’s get this over with. Matt Striker pretending to be a wrestler is so cute.

This whole show needs to end like NOW. Cena gets a very mixed reaction to put it mildly. Of course the lumberjacks get in a big showdown and Cena has a black eye from Sabu from Monday. The lumberjacks do their usual thing as I wonder what the point of a lumberjack match is. Were there ever lumberjacks used for one? This turns into a contest of who can throw the other person to the floor the most.

Cena takes a cane shot from Sandman and Sabu hits the Triple Jump as he becomes an Olympian apparently. He hooks that horrible looking one armed camel clutch of his as Cena makes his comeback. And a low blow stops that. Lawler HATES ECW. That’s an understatement if there ever was one. The big fight finally breaks out so Cena goes to the floor and hits an FU on Richards to put him in the crowd. Sabu throws a chair at Cena and it wraps around his head in a cool visual.

Cena pelts it at Sabu and hits an FU over the top through a table. When I say through I mean Sabu hits the edge of the table and looks like he broke his back. He taps to the STFU to just further bury ECW as this wasn’t even 7 minutes.

Rating: D. What a mess this was. I have no idea what the point of this was other than to just get Cena on the card somehow. This wasn’t any good at all and I can’t really blame Sabu for it as this was going to be bad no matter who was in it. I’m still trying to get the point of this and I think it’s in vain.

Cena and Van Dam have a staredown. Van Dam respects him and offers him a title shot tomorrow on Raw. They shake hands and it’s kind of a cool moment. Pretty sure Edge interfered to set up the triple threat the next week where Edge took the belt.

We recap DX vs. Vince, which is over Shawn telling Vince to grow up. So Vince got male cheerleaders to beat him up. This was terrible so it went on for months. This of course gets the longest buildup of anything on the show. DX slimed the SS on Monday. I kid you not, they dropped slime on them.

Spirit Squad vs. DX

Oh and for their big return, DX comes out first of course. This whole show is making my skull ache. So there is NO DRAMA here at all, even though the SS are the tag champions. This show needs to end, and they saved the worst for last. No one buys this as a legit challenge and they shouldn’t. It’s one fall, and the current OVW Champion is on the heel team.

Also Ross points out that the Squad has never beaten DX. That’s just brilliant: point out that this has been one sided. The Squad has air horns and matching outfits and all that jazz. Shawn and Mitch start us off. If my memory is right, he’s the least talented one. Let that sink in for a bit. Shawn gets ganged up on in the corner and beats all five of them up. Give me a break. HHH finally comes in since Shawn hasn’t broken a sweat yet.

This is pointless and I know this match has just gotten started. Johnny gets his nose busted up and comes in. He, I kid you not, pulls out a bandana with a Japanese sun and Japanese characters on it and pretends he’s the Karate Kid. A comedy match is ending the PPV. Shoot me. Please. HHH hits the Flair knee drop to further mess up his nose. Johnny is talented too but he was just too small to be worth much. And now he gets pantsed.

A quadruple team gets HHH so close to trouble that he can see it with a telescope. And he’s fine in like 8 seconds and tags Shawn to no pop at all. Shawn does his usual stuff and hits the elbow. Mikey hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise and actually gets a cover! Kenny gets a chair shot that comes maybe a foot away from Shawn’s head but whatever. Mitch gets a running start and jumps on a trampoline to get from the floor over the top rope for a bulldog.

I hate this match. I truly do. Shawn’s beating gets about as much heat as Antarctica so HHH comes in and beats them up. Mikey messes up on the trampoline so four of them are down. Kenny, for lack of the better term the leader, takes the Pedigree to end it. Mitch gets his face shoved into HHH’s back to end it with a Vince staredown.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV had a guy being pantsed, air horns and trampolines. Do I need to make fun of this? There was NO drama at all here and it was more or less one sided the whole way. Horrible match so of course it got 18 minutes.

Overall Rating: D-. I wanted this show to end after the Edge/RVD match. For the life of me I cannot see any reason for the matches going in the order they did. At least Van Dam vs. Edge was fairly good, but to have three matches go after it? I get that for a major show like Mania or Summerslam, but this is Vengeance for crying out loud. Did we need to see the 5-2 beatdown for nearly 20 minutes? I certainly didn’t.

I mean look at this card. It looks like a decent house show. Either way, this didn’t work at all for me and was just a flat out bad show with no matches worth going out of your way to see at all. Awful show but we reunite the brands next year so that’s a good thing.

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WWE vs. ECW: Head to Head
Date: June 7, 2006
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Since I’m in ECW mode at the time, I thought I’d take this one out as well. This is the one off special from just before One Night Stand as well as before the relaunch of ECW as a weekly show. I don’t really know if there was a point to this but it aired on a Wednesday night which is pretty much the only night of the week without wrestling of some kind. Let’s get to it.

This is less than a week before One Night Stand.

Foley gives the WWE guys a pep talk. They’re all in Raw or Smackdown shirts looking like matching softball teams.

Heyman does the same for the ECW boys.

There’s a 20 man battle royal tonight, plus Cena faces Sabu.

Jerry and Tazz almost get into it before the show.

Resy Mysterio vs. Rob Van Dam

Rey is Smackdown world champion. The ECW guys come from the hole in the brick wall set off to the side of the main set. They’re both good guys here so they shake hands after speeding to a standoff. Van Dam hits a gorilla press slam and standing moonsault as Joey bashes WWE announcers for not calling the names of moves. Rey comes back and tries the 619 but RVD gets to the floor. Rey dropkicks him to the floor but his baseball slide is countered.

Van Dam rams him into the barricade but misses a standing legdrop to send him disappearing behind the barricade in a great looking spot. Rey hits a HUGE springboard plancha into the crowd to take out Van Dam as we take a break. Back with Rey pounding away but Rob crotches him on top and dropkicks him to the floor.

Back in the slingshot guillotine legdrop gets two. Rob gets a chair because this is No DQ all of a sudden. He hits the chair skateboard in the corner for two. That chair isn’t good enough I guess so here’s a second chair but Rey blocks it and hits a middle rope bulldog onto the chair for two. Rey tries to Drop the Dime but RVD moves and Rey crashes. Five Star ends this kind of clean.

Rating: B-. This would be the running issue for Rey’s title run: he kept losing almost every match he was in, most of the time without cheating. Rob was a big star and would win the world title on Sunday but that doesn’t mean that this was a good choice. Why did it need to be Rey and not another big name that wasn’t world champion?

We recap Orton hitting an RKO on Angle on Raw.

Here’s Angle who is now part of ECW. Heyman got two draft picks to bring over to his brand and picked Angle along with RVD. Angle snapped Orton’s ankle a few months back so there’s your story. Orton has accepted Angle’s open challenge and will be the first person to face ECW’s Kurt Angle. Here’s Orton for a rebuttal. He talks about Angle going from the main event of Wrestlemania down to ECW being like going from a summer blockbuster to hardcore adult films.

Orton is a big star on Raw and Kurt should be afraid. Kurt says this is the new ECW and Angle is part of it. Angle doesn’t have to worry about offending Vince anymore so on Sunday he’ll break Orton’s ankle, arms, legs and neck. Orton yells about how Angle broke his ankle already and that Angle got drafted for a reason: it’s destiny. Orton says he’ll win on Sunday and bring ECW to its knees and kill its legend.

Mickie James vs. Jazz

Mickie is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. Jazz works on the arm to start but gets kicked to the floor where Mickie hits the Thesz Press off the apron. Back in Jazz hits her X-Factor (Jazz Stinger) for two but Mickie hits an Impaler for the pin. This was nothing.

We get a clip from Raw and the RVD/Cena contract signing. ECW guys came out and left him laying. Cena talks about how this Sunday the WWE Championship could go to ECW. This title has been held by men like Sammartino, Hogan and Austin but if Cena loses, it becomes the ECW Championship. If Cena loses, he’ll be the biggest goat in wrestler. There won’t be a single WWE fan in the Hammerstein Ballroom and if Cena wins, he’ll be in the middle of the biggest riot in wrestling history. What he’s going to do though is put his head down and start swinging. Tonight he makes his statement against Sabu. GREAT promo here.

Here’s Heyman to talk about the PPV and the debut of the new ECW TV show. This is the ECW version of looking at the graphics of the matches that you always see for a PPV build. We get a quick video on One Night Stand last year which was awesome.

Angle gives the ECW guys a pep talk before the battle royal.

Big Show does the same.

Battle Royal

We’ve got ten from each here, with WWE being Edge, Big Show, Carlito, Shelton, Finlay, Lashley, Matt Hardy, Orton, and two other guys I can’t see. The ECW guys are more or less their whole roster minus RVD. You win by team, not individually. The other two WWE guys are Tatanka and Mark Henry. For the life of me I don’t get why Tatanka was rehired. Shelton and Lashley are the midcard champions. The WWE guys (at least six of which wound up on ECW and four of which won the ECW Title) get individual entrances to kill some time. The ECW guys come out as a unit.

Dreamer goes after Edge on the floor and we’re ready to go. Henry is out almost immediately. There goes Matt as well as Guido. It’s your usual battle royal: they fight a lot and there’s no way to tell what’s going on. Tatanka is out as is Carlito. Edge hasn’t been in yet but throws out Tony Mamaluke. Orton dumps Dreamer and we take a break. Back with I’m assuming the same amount of people.

Edge is still on the floor and pulls Finlay out. There goes Credible and Snow follows him out. Richards is out and ECW is in trouble. Balls Mahoney is out thanks to Lashley but Angle throws out Lashley. So for ECW it’s Angle and Sandman and about five guys left for WWE. Big Show, Rated RKO, Finlay and Benjamin. We take the second break of the match to come back to Sandman being tossed.

Edge is chilling on the announcers’ desk. Angle dumps Benjamin but it’s still him vs. Finlay, Show, Orton and Edge. Angle suplexes the smaller guys and Angle Slams Big Show. Finlay goes after Angle but gets tossed to get it down to 3-1. Edge comes in but his spear is countered into a belly to belly to get rid of him. Orton throws Angle out to win.

Rating: D. As usual with battle royals other than the Rumble, this was boring. The problem at the end of the day with ECW is that most of their guys didn’t mean anything so they had an army of jobbers and a mercenary in Angle to lead them. That’s what caught up to them in the Invasion and it’s not helping anything here.

Oh never mind as Big Show reveals an ECW shirt and throws out Angle to win. Remember what I was saying about mercenaries? That counts apparently because all you need to do is put on a shirt to change your contract.

The ECW guys celebrate in the back.

Edge vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is under extreme rules. Dreamer comes at him with a barbed wire 2×4 but Edge ducks and they head to the floor. Foley and Funk are at ringside. Back inside Edge takes over as the announcers bicker. Tazz defends ECW and Lawler says choking people out is ECW. The announcers ignore the match WCW style as Edge kills Dreamer with a trashcan lid. Dreamer takes the Raven drop toehold into the chair.

Edge hits the Impaler into a trashcan as JR tries to call the match. That only gets two as Lawler and Tazz are ripping into each other. At least it led to a match on Sunday. Dreamer kicks Edge low and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer and Funk get a table as Hornswoggle is brought into the argument. Dreamer loads up a superplex through the table but Lita makes the save.

Funk goes after Lita but Foley chokes him out with barbed wire. Edge loads up a powerbomb through the table but Dreamer counters with a backdrop. He totally misjudges where the table is and Edge lands mostly on his head. Death Valley Driver gets two but Lita comes in with the cane which doesn’t work. Dreamer loads up a powerbomb and gets speared for the pin.

Rating: C. The interesting thing here was the commentary rather than the match. The match was an above average hardcore match and I can’t complain much about it. Other than that though, the commentary was very different than usual as the entire match was spent arguing instead of talking about the match, which is what Styles ranted about weeks before.

Here’s Foley in the ring and he’s mad about the fans saying he sold out. He loved ECW but it didn’t love him. ECW asked too much of him and eventually he left to find fame and fortune in WWE. The difference between him and Dreamer: Foley will do anything for money but Dreamer wouldn’t sell out. Seven years ago he pulled a sock out of his pants and Vince laughed, making Foley a star. Dreamer only has his pride and ECW. Maybe the Foley vs. Edge match from Wrestlemania wasn’t as good as they thought. Maybe they’ll have to be even tougher in the Hammerstein Ballroom.

Terry Funk is still the toughest man in wrestling and can do things that no one else ever has. Funk is in pain every day that he wakes up but he wants to have one more moment. Foley blew him up in Japan and Terry hugged him. He set Funk on fire in Philadelphia and Funk put his arm around him. That’s not what Mick wants anymore. ECW is the w**** and there’s nothing that he won’t do to get back at ECW after what it did to him. Awesome stuff again here. Foley was full on heel here and he could bring it in that role.

Jerry and Tazz almost get into it again. Actually this time they do and it’s a decent brawl.

We recap Cena getting jumped two night ago to set up the main event.

John Cena vs. Sabu

This is also Extreme Rules. They start quickly and Cena drops an elbow for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Sabu sends him to the floor and dives on Cena before pelting the chair at Cena’s head. The Triple Jump Moonsault gets two. All Sabu here so far. Air Sabu gets the same. Arabian Facebuster sends Cena to the floor. Over to the table and Sabu drops a leg on Cena on the table. Sabu tries a dive in the corner but gets caught in the FU. STFU looks to finish but here’s Big Show for the DQ. In an ECW Extreme Rules match. This thing was dead on arrival.

Rating: C+. Fun match here as Cena was selling and Sabu wasn’t screwing up everything. Amazing what happens when you put someone competent in there with him and give him about six minutes. The FU to almost end it looked good too, making this a fun match ruined by a very bad ending.

The locker room empties out and a big brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good show but I have no idea what the point of it was. I mean, other than Big Show defecting, what was gained here? That could have been done on any show but they did it here. It’s not a bad thing but I don’t really get why it needed to exist. Still though, good show as fast paced as it was.

Here’s One Night Stand if you’re interested:

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Living Dangerously 1999
Date: March 21, 1999
Location: Asbury Park Convention Center, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Attendance: 3,900
Commentator: Joey Styles

So Taz is world champion. Yep that’s about all there is to it at this point. Other than that there isn’t a ton going on here. Shane is on his way out and the company is in trouble. They wouldn’t be on national TV for another few months and this is really a dry spell for them.

The problem was no one bought Taz as champion after the “big” win for reasons I’ve already given. Other than that, the main thing here is RVD vs. Lynn starts up. Now I have only seen one of their matches in their seemingly never ending series, so let’s get to this. Yep the card looks like crap. I’m stunned.

Some guy asks Taz what it’s going to be like when there’s the unification match tonight. It’s the FTW Title vs. the ECW Title. Good to know. He calls out Austin and Flair, the other world champions and a bunch of other guys. Give me a break Taz. Fits the character though.

Joey welcomes us to the show. Having the logo on the mat helps a lot. We hype up the main event because we haven’t had Sabu vs. Taz in awhile. Ok then.

Play the theme song monkeys!

Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

It’s a rematch from the last PPV, which is a good idea as it came from out of nowhere and was awesome. Tajiri’s hair looks more like it would later on so that’s a bit more like it. Apparently there have been other matches and this is the blowoff to it. Now this is a match where I wonder something: how do they call spots? Not trying to sound rude or anything but do they speak the same languages?

We start with a lot of nice looking spots which don’t accomplish anything but they got the crowd impressed so that’s a perk. Big old standing ovation for that and I can’t blame them. Love that handspring elbow. Naturally this is more of a spotfest than a match but that’s all fine and good. If these are on the show, this is where they belong without question. Crazy hits the triple moonsaults which are kind of cool I think.

Wow Crazy is better than I remember him being. This has been all him at this point in case you were wondering and there goes his head from a kick so there we are. I could watch Tajiri kick people all day. Crazy misses a springboard and the crowd seems to think he screwed up. Crazy goes completely away from the match idea and hits a low blow. They set up a second Batista Bomb but they botch the heck out of it so I think Tajiri countered it. After another counter, Crazy gets the pin on a rollup.

Rating: B. Not bad, but way behind their other match. This was certainly entertaining, but at the same time it was miles behind what they did last month. Far more of a spotfest than anything else but at the same time that’s what an opener should do: it got the crowd into it so this was a success.

Van Dam, Sabu and Van Dam say they’ll beat Taz. Van Dam should be world champion, period. You can see the masking tape over the Taz name plate on the FTW belt. That’s awesome.

We see some highlights of the previous match but it’s interrupted by some guy that looks like Sean Waltman from the mid 90s yelling. HOLY CRAP THAT’S STEVE CORINO????? He looks NOTHING like he does now. I mean NOTHING. I honestly didn’t recognize him and that hardly ever happens. He yells out an open challenge and the fans want Sid. We get Balls and Axl instead.

Balls Mahoney vs. Steve Corino

I really can’t get over how different he looks. I’m in awe. Hearing Corino called young is rather amusing. This is all Balls to start. Steve is the heel here. How many times did Rotten actually wrestle? All I remember him doing is screaming and yelling a lot. Mahoney hits a decent frog splash if nothing else.

The fans want to see a chair shot. I’m amazed at how Corino is more or less a jobber here. He always had a sweet superkick. He refuses to use the chair and gets booed. Amazing isn’t it? My mouth is hanging open from that chair shot. He might get up by 2001. Balls wins with ease. Fans were way into it at least.

Rating: D. Seriously, Mahoney just beat Corino. Even as a jobber, that’s not right ever. This was like 4 minutes long so how good can they make it? Steve was a total jobber if nothing else anyway. Total filler of 7 minutes counting intros here.

We recap the Dudleys vs. the Gangstas which wound up with Mustapha turning on New Jack to set up their match tonight.

Little Guido vs. Antifaz del Norte

No one knows who the other guy is. Big Sal is the only one with Guido tonight. There’s a really long stall to start. I’m sure there’s an epic story behind this and it’s not just a randomly thrown together match at all. His name means Mask of the North or North Mask in case you were curious for no apparent reason. The fans are shall we say restless although the Mask guy isn’t bad. The fans want Tracy Smothers.

We get a big chop battle that leads nowhere. Russian legsweep from the middle rope and you can make your own ethnical jokes. The fans chant boring and I mean they chant it LOUDLY. Sal likes to curse a lot. He ENDS the masked guy with a powerslam through the table at ringside. A Sicilian (Walls of Jericho) Crab ends it and we get the bad FBI music. Smothers and Rich come out and beat up Guido until Sal chases them off.

Rating: D-. And that’s all on the masked guy. I have no idea who he was and I have no idea where he went after this. He was pretty good though which makes up a bit for Guido being completely uninteresting. Why was this on PPV again?

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

Ok let’s see if this lives up to the hype still. Van Dam gets an epic pop. Still gets nowhere near the main event or the world title. I’m stunned. Oh and he and Sabu are the tag champions again. Paul, take a good look at RVD. He’s the reason you’re out of business. The fact that you simply never made him the main guy killed your company.

Well among other things but that could have gotten you a lot of cash at the end. Lynn is a guy that the more I see the more I like. Apparently Van Dam is supposed to win in a walk. ECW needs to stop the close-ups. They do a swank sequence of can you top this which is working for me. Lynn took his freaking head off with a clothesline there. Van Dam likes to stall. A lot.

In a funny spot Lynn drops a leg on the back of his neck when he does that split move. Perfect timing on it too so it looked great. Lynn shows off his leaping too and hits a spinning crossbody to the floor. The psychology here is that Lynn is doing basic stuff to counter Van Dam’s high stuff. Apparently one of the fans loves a girl named Melissa.

We’re in the crowd now with a bunch of jumps and flips from Van Dam. Entertaining if nothing else. Van Dam tells D-Von Alfonso to get the table. Oh wait it’s a chair. That’s better. I will never be able to avoid cringing at the surfboard. That’s just insane. Not big on the chair stuff here but with Van Dam they never booked him right anyway so it works.

SWEET counter as Lynn hits a counter to something into a springboard into a powerbomb onto a chair. Better than it sounds. Van Dam takes a reverse DDT onto the chair for two. The chair is laying on the mat for the most part which is annoying but bearable I guess. Apparently Lynn is the new F’ING show. Fonzie makes the save for Van Dam as Lynn was up top with the chair.

And Lynn goes off the top and through a table against his own wishes. Lynn has been down a LONG time. Jerry stops the attack with a chair to stop the split legged moonsault. I love pinfall reversal sequences and apparently the crowd does too. The speed here is great. Van Dam takes a tornado DDT from the apron onto the table. Note that it wasn’t through it. That was scary looking.

Hey we’re back in the ring again. Lynn hits a nice jumping DDT for two…and we get a bell? The referee tries to hand him the belt as he’s making a decision. Uh, WHAT? Lynn wants five more minutes. And for once that’s what we’re going to get. That decision has boggled my mind. See my mind? It’s boggled now.

Who in the world would do that? RVD hits the Van Daminator and the Five Star to take over from nowhere and get the pin. There might have been two more minutes after Overtime started, making me wonder WHAT THE FREAKING POINT TO IT WAS. They shake hands after the match which is always cool.

Rating: B. I said to X in the Board Room that I didn’t know if this was good or not but it was certainly entertaining and I think that holds up actually. It’s certainly entertaining, but the referee making the decision thing was just WEIRD. I mean have you ever heard of that before? Still though, this was full of sweet spots and while there was little flow to it, the oh crap factor makes up for that so I’ll take it.

Ah apparently the main event WILL NOT have a pre determined winner. Got it.

We kind of recap Taz vs. Sabu. Why is that so hard for them to get right?

Jasmine St. Claire, an adult actress, says she’s the new queen of wrestling. Cue Francine. This was earlier in the night. And the point of this was…?

Mustapha Saed vs. New Jack

Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. Mustapha paid off the Dudleys to beat some guys up, including new Jack. Can someone shoot that stupid song? I beg of you. Oh dear. It’s a bunch of weapons shots. The main ones are a keyboard and a plastic lawnmower a 2 year old would like. New Jack swings a guitar that breaks before it hits Mustapha.

Oh dear. We hit the crowd and you can feel the balcony dive coming. Mustapha is taped to the table and there goes New Jack. Yep there he goes. Nope it doesn’t mean much as he does it every time. And after being walked back to the ring that’s enough for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Dude, New Jack, you can’t wrestle. Let it go. This wasn’t wrestling so I can’t grade it.

And here are the Dudleys. They beat up New Jack until a bunch of guys come out to save him. Joel does his intro and it’s pretty weak. Bubba starts talking, still as a country hick. They don’t have a match or anything as they’re just here talking. It’s open challenge time.

Spike Dudley/Nova vs. Dudley Boys

And of course within a minute we have Spike thrown into the crowd and he’s surfed around. His leg hit the rail on the fall though so the sound was really bad. Nova looks like Hurricane in blue and black here. He gets a Bubba Bomb from the middle rope and 3D. Ok let’s move on. Ring announcer gets 3D. DANG Spike has been surfed around for a long time.

Bubba talks again and says there’s no one left. Something tells me that a certain monster named Sid will be here soon as he was featured in the opening video and he happens to be an unstoppable monster. Bubba offers to fight the crowd. Judge Jeff Jones comes down with a stretcher and yep there’s Sid. Sid blowing bubbles while Bubba yells at him is funny. SID SELLS SOMETHING! I’m in SHOCK.

Fans are WAY into Sid who hits a double chokeslam. Sid destroys them and…here’s Spike again. Sid beats up D-Von on the ramp and Spike hits the Acid Drop…for the pin. Sure. Why not? Spike gets powerbombed too. Sid would be gone in a few months for WCW. And there’s another powerbomb through a table conveniently placed on the floor.

Rating: D-. The fans popped HUGE for Sid but other than that this was just a total mess. The idea that the match was still going on all that time is nothing short of idiotic and it shows very well why Heyman’s booking was so crazy at times. This should have been Sid comes out and beats people up. Spike and Nova simply weren’t needed.

We recap Shane leaving ECW which hasn’t actually happened yet but should have happened about 6 months before this. The fans of course don’t want the biggest heel in company history to go. The Impact Players argue over who gets to be the next Franchise. Shane says Dreamer gets to carry on the legacy of Shane. There are too many jokes there than I have time to type. The Impact Players beat up Shane and Francine to a ballad for some reason and Dreamer is beaten up too.

Tommy Dreamer/Shane Douglas vs. Impact Players

This is more or less Shane’s final big deal in ECW. Dawn Marie is pretending to be Beaulah at this point for no apparent reason. Oh Storm is Dreamer and Justin is Douglas. I get it now. Francine’s looks were WAY underrated. Shane of course went from being the top heel for like ever to being loved because he wanted to retire which is a wrestling tradition. Of course he was in WCW in like 2 months.

Shane in long tights is just weird looking. This new ring announcer kind of sucks. Dawn Marie dressed like Beulah: WIN. Great heat on Storm here. And we’ve already got double teaming. Something tells me this is going to get insane soon. Justin won’t come in to fight Shane. Ok never mind yes he will. Shane hits a nice rolling suplex set. Always loved that kind of thing. Dreamer hooks the absolute worst abdominal stretch I have ever seen. I mean it looks AWFUL.

The heels are dominating as Dawn apparently has herpes. Justin isn’t that good, period. Storm does one of the worst spot calls this side of Shawn Michaels. We get a TOTALLY random Ric Flair sucks chant. Credible screams for mercy which is rather amusing. This isn’t quite a fully fledged disaster but it’s reaching the outer limits of Disasteria.

This is more or less heel dominance for the most part, which tells me that the faces will get the win in the end. It’s weird but whenever the faces take over the crowd dies a bit, even though they’re all over the heels. Most odd indeed. They’re setting up for the big hot tag to Shane by having Dreamer get the heck beaten out of him.

Shane comes in and offers to reform the Triple Threat and then screws over the Players by hitting a double clothesline. Ok that was pointless but whatever. Dawn hits a low blow on Shane while Jazz distracts the referee. You know, because the referee wouldn’t hear the screaming she was doing. Cat fight ensues of course. This is still pure heel domination.

And here’s Francine with a ladder. Sure why not? Dreamer hits the DDT on Justin into Lance’s balls. Justin kicks out of the belly to belly. Oh I’m so shocked. Maybe he managed to do that because IT’S JUST A FREAKING SUPLEX! Francine stops a cane shot and kicks Justin in the head to set up the Pittsburgh Plunge for the pin.

Replay shows Justin looking over his shoulder to make sure she was there for the spot. Post match Cyrus comes out and causes the Impact Players to beat up the faces. He saves Francine though.

Rating: C-. Not bad but whatever I guess. This was all about Shane getting one last thing and he did so good for them. Yeah the match sucked but it had great heat and it got the job done so I’ll give it credit.

We look at the TV Title match again as we’re rapidly running out of time. The referee says this isn’t Holyfield-Lewis fight and there will be a clean winner. He’s referring to Evander Holyfield vs. Lennox Lewis. They had a long fight and Lewis more or less dominated but the fight was declared a draw. Apparently the referee was ready to give Lynn the belt because he was the clear winner.

Even the interviewer more or less says that’s freaking stupid. Van Dam walks in and says there will be a rematch at the next PPV. Sure why not. So Lynn had the title won and was told he had the title but wanted five more minutes and got pinned clean. Sure why not?

ECW World Title/FTW Title: Sabu vs. Taz

This is title for title for no apparent reason. We see a clip of how Taz broke Sabu’s jaw. Apparently that same clothesline tore tendons in Taz’s arm. That’s quite an arm strike. Taz gets a nice pop. Why do they keep saying that this was the main event of Barely Legal? It wasn’t as far as I remember. Also, from ECW, I still have never heard WHY THEY HATE EACH OTHER.

Would that be so hard to freaking tell me? Yes I know why from other research, but you would think they could TELL ME THAT OR SOMETHING. It’s so strange thinking that Taz is such an imbecile on commentary now. Taz talks before the match again and says we should make it falls count anywhere and then says his catchphrase because we have to have that right.

We hear Sabu talk which is something you rarely hear if ever. I think other than on DVDs I’ve heard it once? They actually start with a wrestling sequence if you can believe that. We hit about our 20th F Bomb tonight. Sure why not. Sick boot to the head of Sabu. Here’s your required brawling for the main event as we hit the crowd. The beauty of crowd brawling for them at least is they get to go out and do very little at all but still make it look like they’re doing a lot.

Ok not really but you would think otherwise. We’re on the ramp now and that gets us nowhere. This is just spot after spot with little flow or thought to them at all. Hey we’re in the ring! What do you know about that? It’s table time of course and Sabu goes through it. Taz calls out Hogan and Flair. That’s just amusing. This is ALL Taz.

Fonzie tries to throw in the towel but Sabu says no. This is just Sabu getting beaten up, so therefore it’s becoming totally awesome! He makes a short comeback and Taz gets his foot on the ropes. So what if it’s FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE? Even the fans yell at that. And there’s the Tazmission and Sabu is out. Handshake ends the show.

Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty weak. It was just one guy beating the heck out of the other with one guy refusing to quit the entire time, then a short comeback and the ending is a guy that put on a stunt show not actually giving up because he’s out cold. Even after all that, I hope that Sabu and Taz Have A Nice Day If You Smell What I’m Cooking.

Overall Rating: D. This is more or less a one match show as Lynn and Van Dam had a good match but other than that, this felt thrown together and like it was about 1/3 filler. Not a lot made sense and they even screwed up the one good match they had with a stupid ending. I think the problem here is that you have no one legit to challenge Taz other than Van Dam and Heyman simply would not give him the push.

Awesome and Tanaka were both gone and Sid was too big of a deal to put against Taz I guess, so we get matches that aren’t that interesting like this which is ok but we’ve seen it SO many times that it’s just boring. The show is watchable I suppose, but I wanted it to end about an hour and a half before it did. If this was cut to about 2 hours instead of three, it’s FAR better. Check out the TV Title match if you want but it’s not required viewing.

The Night The Line Was Crossed
Date: February 5, 1994
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,000
Commentator: Joey Styles

So this is it. This is allegedly the show where everything came together for ECW and became AWESOME. I’ve heard great things about the triple threat main event and I’ve heard it’s incredibly overrated. I’ve never seen it before so we’ll see if it’s either of them. I tend to hate triple threats in general so I wouldn’t put much stock in me liking this one either. Other than that not a ton matters as it’s about two hours and ten minutes long and the main event is an hour even. Let’s get to it.

Tod (and yes that’s how it’s spelled onscreen) Gordon says ECW is insane and therefore may not be appropriate for everyone. That was their tagline back in the day and it’s either brilliant or stupid.

Mr. Hughes vs. Sal Bellomo

This is the home video version so Chad Austin vs. 911 is left out. The arena is more or less dark here and it comes off as rather weird looking. Hughes is famous as the bodyguard character while Bellomo is just weird. I smell a squash here. Hughes and Jason come out to bad rap music. Let’s get this over with please. Bellomo looks like Hagrid from Harry Potter if that gives you any idea of what he looks like.

Sal goes for the arm and it doesn’t work at all. Hughes is pure heel here but it getting killed. Hughes is one of the few guys to play exactly the same character for the vast majority of his career and to never change a thing. It’s nothing special at all, but to be a bodyguard character this long is saying something. Now if only I knew what that was. Joey says the punches he throws are from St. Louis, Missouri. That’s a decent line if he’s from there. Shame it’s Kansas City. A HORRIBLE Boss Man Slam ends it.

Rating: D. Total squash that went too long. I never got the appeal of Bellomo but he was pushed forever here. He was a glorified jobber in the 80s in the WWF and he’s a big deal in ECW. There are his career highlights. This was a bad opener to say the least.

Sandman/Tommy Cairo vs. Pitbull/Rockin Rebel

This is a dog collar chain match. Sandman is getting more ticked off at this point but is still a beach guy. Jason is managing Pitbull #1 (Gary Wolfe) for you ECW fans that care. Wolfe and Cairo are chained together as are the other combination. They might have been in the ring for 6 seconds and then they hit the floor. Rebel is busted open and I think Cairo is too. Well that didn’t take long.

It’s more general insanity but unlike the last show I did the cameras can actually zoom in a bit. You can barely see things but it’s better than not being able to see at all. You can tell who is who here and you can tell what they’re doing. Pitbull gets two in the ring on Cairo. A bunch of violence leads to Cairo pinning Pitbull with a belly to belly. More brawling follows.

Rating: D+. Not terrible I guess and there seemed to be a reason for this….whatever it was. Sandman would start his transformation soon enough and make himself an ECW legend, changing the company forever. At this point he was terrible though, as were the other three so there you are.

Bruise Brothers vs. Public Enemy

The Bruise Brothers are the Harris Twins in gimmick number 3948. They have long hair here and would be in WWF soon enough. This is more brawling and anything goes stuff which is in the crowd immediately. I think I sense a theme building here. About a minute in all four guys disappear as the camera work is making my head hurt. Joey talks about how you’re only going to see this stuff in Philly. Is that a good thing I guess?

ALL Bruise Brothers here which isn’t likely to last long. Joey points out that this isn’t wrestling but rather a street fight. The announcer says we’re five minutes in. Yeah that’s really what I care about right now. That’s the NWA for you: make sure we follow TRADITION of telling us how long we’re going and bring us out of the possible adrenaline rush that this match is supposed to bring.

Rock gets slammed on Joey’s table and he has a freaking heart attack over it which is always amusing. Joey is obsessed with what the Harris’ home is like. Grunge throws some powder in one of their eyes. A 2×4 shot ends it as the Public Enemy stay dominant in ECW and I’d bet undefeated.

Rating: D. This was just too insane and it hurt things a lot I think. Nothing of note happened here and after the first big brawl, this looked a lot weaker. It was fine for a brawl, but brawling can only get you so far, which is a lesson this company never wanted to learn.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is EVIL here and Dreamer is a pure rookie. I’ve seen this before somewhere. Dreamer is from Dreamland USA. Wow indeed. He’s the pretty boy in bright blue tights here and no one cares about him. Snuka is by far the biggest star in the company at this point. Joey promises a classic. That’s never a good sign. Dreamer is 22, my age, here. That’s hard to imagine as he’s always been old.

Lots of stalling to start as we just had to stretch this show out further didn’t we? Dreamer puts on the hat of a kid for no apparent reason. After about three minutes of stalling we lock up and go to a headlock. And now we stall some more. I thought WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA! The fans chant for Piper although I’m not sure why. Would it kill you guys to do something?

Snuka pops him with a pretty weak chair shot on the floor in by far the most interesting move of the match so far. Dreamer kicks out of the Superfly Splash and Joey apparently thinks he can walk on water too. Snuka hits two more of them and Dreamer is more or less dead. He’s bleeding from the mouth and Snuka finally pins him. He beats up some referees and other people afterwards and hits a fourth splash on Dreamer. Gordon comes out and gets beaten up too.

Rating: F+. This was about 80% stalling and then a bunch of splashes. It was like a weird kind of squash and by that I mean it wasn’t any good. The stalling is what hurts this as it’s nearly 8 minutes long and WAY too much of it was just them standing around and yelling at the crowd. Snuka wouldn’t mean anything in the long run anyway as he was only around for a few months after this while Dreamer became one of the biggest stars in the company.

Kevin Sullivan/Tazmaniac vs. Original Sheik/Pat Tanaka

Sullivan/Taz are tag champions but the belts are being held up for some reason. This could be brutally bad and likely will be. Woman in a suit is oddly sexy actually. Taz is insane here and looks like a caveman. Tanaka is in street clothes just because he can be. Sullivan is bleeding 9 seconds in which might be a record even for him. Tanaka has a bad ankle so while the guys with S’s in their name fight Taz goes for a half crab.

The wide shots during brawls are really annoying. Sheik is 66 years old here and this is the first recorded match I can find for him in 13 years. He throws a fireball at Taz and Tanaka pins him. Yeah that’s it.

Rating: N/A. This was really short and really bad. Yeah….the whole 66 year old in a match this is pretty stupid. Somehow Flair isn’t that far off from it. He’s light years ahead of this though. Sheik and Sullivan fight even more for a little while.

JT Smith vs. Mike Awesome

This would be a squash in the regular ECW. Here it’s going to be a squash but with a different ending. If you want to see an example of why Awesome is so beloved, watch this match as he’s INSANE but great. He never lets up at all and hits a great over the top rope dive to nearly kill Smith. And then the hometown boy rolls him up for a pin in his only offense all night. Referee gets beaten up anyway. He goes for the splash and breaks the freaking ring ropes.

Rating: N/A. Total squash for Awesome and he lost anyway. He would go to Japan soon after and other than one other time in 94, wouldn’t be seen in ECW until 97. He would wrestle five times there and then would go winless in 1998. FINALLY in 1999 Heyman realized he had something amazing and made him world champion.

Shane Douglas vs. Sabu

This is a #1 contenders match and the title match will take place immediately afterwards. Heyman runs out with a phone and blasts Shane’s manager, Sherri, to take her out. With over an hour to go, this is the main event, and yes it’s that long. Joey has audio trouble so while he’s shouting you can’t understand a word of it. You can hear the crowd so clearly my audio is working.

Ah there he is. If there’s no winner here then it’s a three way for the title. The time limit here is only 15 minutes so I’m not expecting much. 911 is on the floor with Heyman as it’s all Shane at this point. Sabu hits a spinning kick which is really just an elbow as the foot never gets close. That’s par for the course with him though so there we are. Five minutes in and this is one sided. The king of Bombay, Michigan works the right arm of all things and the fans want Funk.

Dang he really is cranking on that thing and it looks great. The arm work goes on for a very long time. Shane gets out with an FU of all things. Man Cena if you’re going to use the same moves at least don’t copy them. Dang dude. Ten minutes in and it’s not bad so far. Shane with a big boot? What the heck??? He’s not even tall enough for that but whatever.

We hit the floor with three minutes left. It’s pretty clear that Funk is going to be involved here. It’s not like that was a real secret or anything. Sabu gets a chair on the floor and it results in Shane being on a table. Good thing Sabu misses it completely and lands in the crowd. Sabu is more or less dead with 30 seconds left. For no apparent reason Shane doesn’t cover him and here’s Terry.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Ok so is this 60 minutes or are Shane and Sabu going 75? Sabu leaves, I guess with an injury and it’s Shane vs. Terry. Given that we have less than an hour in the tape and there are post match interviews, the whole thing is an hour but Funk only has to go 45. Ok then. Funk hits a piledriver on the floor but we can’t see all of it since it’s not on the camera side. To be fair the same thing happened at the end of the 94 Rumble so that’s a thing of the times and not ECW.

Funk hits a pair of DDTs in the ring (one like a football being spiked and one being like a basketball being bounced according to Joey). Terry wants a chair so about 6 people throw them in. They get piled up and Shane takes ANOTHER DDT on them. Seriously that’s all we’ve had from Funk so far: DDTs and a piledriver. Shane manages to beat Funk to his feet after that DDT which is odd.

Shane beats on Funk who now has a bad back it seems. This is moving REALLY slowly and nothing of note is happening. We had a long stretch of brawling in the audience and nothing of note happened. Douglas mixes things up with a DDT of his own. How innovative! All Shane here as Funk is busted open. The referee goes down at some point and this is literally putting me to sleep.

They slug it out for a bit and then head into the crowd. We’re 30 minutes in here and are in the crowd. This has been far from great like it’s built up to be. For some reason the arena looks like it’s full of smoke. So yeah the whole one hour three way dance thing is pretty much nonsense. Ah here’s Sabu FINALLY after being gone about fifteen minutes. Funk comes up towards the announce table and steals a mic, Joey’s in this case, thinking he’s yelling at the crowd and therefore the guys in the ring. The problem is that he’s yelling into Joey’s mic so only the people watching the tape can hear him. Brilliant.

We’re thirty five minutes in and Sabu is in a spinning toehold. 911 comes in and lets Heyman hit Funk with the phone (it’s Paul E. Dangerously but you get the idea). Terry gets a neckbreaker on the guy whose neck would be broken by Benoit later on but Heyman saves again. The triple sleeper spot hits which is either creative or idiotic. I’m not sure why it would be idiotic but it has that feeling to it. Again, no idea why.

Now it’s basically who can get the longest leg lock on Sabu. Shane puts on a Figure Four, but remember that Ric Flair is a horrible man. We hit 40 minutes and Heyman saves Sabu again. Sabu botches the heck out of a springboard moonsault. Sherri is in the ring for no apparent reason. Axl and Ian Rotten come out to help Funk as Shane gets two on Sabu. Sabu botches a rana and Terry leaves. Yeah…..this whole triple threat has been a triple threat for about 3 minutes out of almost 45.

A springboard legdrop hits Shane in a clip from Rise and Fall of ECW. And here are the Rottens to beat up both guys again. This is making my head hurt. We’re 45 minutes in so I only have 15 minutes left. Joey says 15 minutes left in what match? So somehow we’ve gone from Terry Funk vs. Shane vs. Sabu to Shane/Sabu vs. the Rotten Brothers. Sabu fights the Rottens to the back and Shane is alone in the ring. He just stands there and here comes Sabu….oh never mind he has to fight one of the Rottens again first.

Funk comes back, as do Paul, 911 and Ian Rotten. And now there’s no one in the ring. Hat Guy is back by the concession areas and Funk vs. Shane spills outside. This must have been RIVETING for the live crowd with no video screens. And Funk beats up the referee. Joey tries not to laugh while asking why. With ten minutes left Shane and Terry are beating each other up and we now get the clock going again on how long can all three guys be in the ring for. So far out of 50 minutes I’d guess it’s about 9 minutes.

Sabu hits a top rope moonsault and Funk’s knee is hurt. Joey says the match was over 15-20 minutes ago. To quote him, what match? Shane vs. Terry? Shane vs. Sabu? Sabu/Shane vs. the Rottens? Terry vs. one of them? Sherri vs. the laws of time and gravity? The referee stays dead for the better part of ever. He must have been watching the match.

Five more minutes and the fans suddenly get that this is going to a draw. Another new match breaks out with Terry beating up Sherri. Four minutes left and nothing at all is happening. The bald Heyman is knocked out by Shane. Let’s see: Rottens, Sherri, 911, Heyman….yeah I think that’s all. We’ve only had five run-ins so far. Three minutes and we’re out of here (the clock is ticking and we’re in the clear).

Sherri’s boot gets used a lot as Joey makes me angry by saying this is like Piper vs. Valentine from 1983. The camera goes black for a minute and we have two minutes left. Funk beats up Heyman for no good reason. Less than a minute to go and the referee has now been out over ten minutes from a single headbutt. Can we get this guy some medical attention? Two near falls within the last five seconds and that’s it. The fans give them a standing ovation for absolutely no deserved reason. This was bad…..like very bad.

Rating: D+. Cue X and jmt to come in here and explain why I just hate ECW and will never get what it’s about. While that may be true, I know a bad match. This wasn’t horrible and there have been far worse matches, but for this to be considered a classic or even a very good match is a freaking joke. This “hour long triple threat” is more like a 15 minute triple threat, two fifteen minute singles matches, a 4 minute tag match and a bunch of standing around. Sabu was SPENT about half an hour into this and he just laid on the mat for most of the time. I was bored to death watching this because the longest stretch where they’re all in the arena is about 8 minutes long. I have no idea what the standing ovation was for as this was just way too long and while it’s not horrible, it’s definitely not anywhere close to as good as it’s made out to be.

We get what are apparently famous interviews afterwards from all three guys. Terry is crying and says he loves wrestling but doesn’t like what it’s becoming. He hates what WCW is now….despite him going back there for a PPV in like 4 months. He also doesn’t like WWF….where he would be again in a few years. He puts over the company and says how great it is etc. He respects Shane and Sabu.

Heyman and Sabu come in (after Gordon thanks the guys for coming in from out of state for the press conference) and Sabu has to be held back by the security guards. Heyman claims a conspiracy and is just awesomely slick here. This goes nowhere but is kind of funny.

Shane comes in and says he should be champion because he’s the only guy that was out there for the whole hour. He has a point there, although he does claim to have smashed Funk’s knee into obliticry. Yeah it’s not a real word but whatever. Shane is FURIOUS here and here comes Terry for the big emotional showdown. Shane keeps saying he’s great and Funk doesn’t want to be called an old man. Terry hands him the belt and says it’ll be a great day when he takes it back from Shane since he’s not an old man. Shane throws it back at him and here we go again. This was good to set up the eventual one on one showdown where Shane would get the title.

Overall Rating: F+. This is it? This is the major show that got ECW noticed? Why? The best match is the overrated beyond belief triple threat and that’s decent at best. Other than that there is NOTHING here. Actually that’s not true. The post main event segments with Terry and then Terry/Shane were indeed very good.

If you cut about 30 minutes (including the opening 15 minute prematch thing) from the main event and cut out the Rottens and all the guys being carried out, this goes WAY up and I could see it being considered good. This show just wasn’t interesting at all though and the triple threat is just far too long and not very good. ECW would get a lot better in about a year though, so something worked. I don’t get the hype here at all. Now where’s X to complain about this?