Survivor Series 2006 (2021 Redo): Teach Them How To Survivor Series

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 20, 2006 (2021 Redo): I Love This Kind Of Thing

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2006
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and the show is mostly set. That is a rather good situation to have here as WWE is fresh off a European tour so they might not be going as hard as usual. You can always use a nice push towards the pay per view though and that very well may be the case here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Team Cena to get things going. John Cena talks about how they are ready to go but the Big Show had to jump him last week. If that’s the case, then come out here and let’s have this fight right now. Instead it’s Rated-RKO coming through the crowd with their pretty awful remix and the rest of their team. They are ready for Johnny Nitro to win the Intercontinental Title tonight and that is going to give them four champions on their team (plus MIKE KNOX!).

Hold on though as here are Ric Flair and some other legends, with Flair calling out Rated-RKO for winning the titles in a glorified handicap match. Rated-RKO and company are pathetic….and speaking of pathetic, here is the Spirit Squad through another part of the crowd with Kenny saying he has a special cheer for being the youngest Survivor Series captain of all time. Cue Team DX through the crowd, with Shawn Michaels saying we should start the Royal Rumble RIGHT NOW!

HHH offers a quick correction and make jokes about how easy the Spirit Squad really is. Now yeah Cena wants Big Show out here, but HHH saw an open case of Twinkies in the back so he isn’t coming out. HHH introduces his team but Edge cuts off the catchphrase, saying everyone is sick of them. Even Cena must be sick of them! Cena says not exactly, but he’s ready to fight Team Rated-RKO right now.

Instead here is Team Big Show on the stage, so Cena says let’s just have everyone get in the ring and see who is left standing. People start getting in but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt. We aren’t going to have a bunch of individual matches tonight, but we will have an eight man tag captain’s main event. That seems to work with everyone, though I don’t know how much choice they had.

Umaga vs. Sabu

Umaga knocks him down to start and the pace slows in a hurry. Sabu gets knocked outside and then thrown back inside so Umaga can knock him down again. Back up and Sabu hits a few hip attacks, setting up a springboard tornado DDT to rock the monster. That’s about it though as the Spike finishes Sabu in a hurry.

Rating: D. Just a quick squash to make it clear that Umaga is a mask. He does that kind of thing quite well and having him beat up Sabu worked well. Sabu is one of those people who can take a loss without being damaged in any serious way and I can’t imagine he is going to be that big of a factor in the Survivor Series match anyway.

Torrie Wilson is in the ring with the t-shirt gun and Jerry Lawler gets on the table so she can shoot one at him. Cue Chris Masters to say that’s a big gun, but has Torrie ever seen guns like his? Masters knows Torrie can’t break the Masterlock, but he knows some better positions for her anyway. Cue Carlito to interrupt and say that Masters may have big guns but it’s just a little pistol where it counts. Carlito drops Masters and hugs Torrie, which allows Masters to get up with the Masterlock. Lawler makes the save.

Johnny Nitro and Melina dedicate Nitro’s ladder match for the Intercontinental Title against Jeff Hardy to Kevin Federline. They’re winning tonight and then at Survivor Series, and then they are going to party with Kevin Federline after he beats John Cena on New Year’s Day.

Kenny picks Nicky to face Dusty Rhodes tonight. Hold on though as Kenny goes to yell at Ric Flair, who seems to be enjoying the company of Candice Michelle. Candice whispers in Flair’s ear and Flair smiles, but Kenny promises to end him on Sunday. Flair has two words for Kenny: WOO, and Ron Simmons, who is replacing Roddy Piper on Sunday, says the other. Kenny realizes he’s in trouble.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is challenging in a ladder match. They go with some grappling to start until Hardy is sent into the corner. Nitro charges into a raised boot though and Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy sends him outside for the suicide dive and we take a break. Back with Nitro cutting off the climb so Hardy moves the ladder into the corner. For some reason Nitro climbs as well so he gets shoved down in a big crash.

Hardy dropkicks the ladder into Nitro for a nasty crash and goes up, only to have Nitro come up again and kick him down for the crash sequel. Back up and Hardy slams him onto the ladder but the Swanton only hits ladder. Nitro throws the ladder at him and it winds up hanging around Hardy’s head for a pretty awesome visual.

A dropkick drops Hardy and Nitro throws him into the ladder in the corner for another knockdown. Nitro hits him in the back with a ladder but Hardy brings in another one, meaning it’s a double climb. Hardy is fine enough to hit a heck of a sunset bomb down and then hits the signature jump over the ladder into the big legdrop. With Nitro down, Hardy puts the ladder on top of Nitro and climbs up to retain the title.

Rating: B. Rather good TV ladder match here with some pretty cool spots. Hardy winning should end the feud, at least for now, and they have traded the title enough over the last few weeks. You don’t get to see a match that feels this big on regular TV so it was pretty cool for a blowoff to a pretty how feud.

This Week In Wrestling History: Undertaker debuted at Survivor Series 1990.

Dusty Rhodes is ready to do various things to Nicky, including cooking and smoking. There are very few people who can make such nonsense work.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Nicky

They starts slowly with Nicky being smart enough to bail from the threat of the Bionic Elbow. Back in and Nicky gets in a few shots to the ribs to knock Dusty into the corner. A kick to the knee takes Dusty down but he’s back up with a few right hands. The gyrating sets up the Bionic Elbow and the strut into the big elbow drop finishes Nicky.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? Dusty is mostly retired and it isn’t like the Spirit Squad is going to lose much by taking another loss. Nicky is just another name on a list of losers at this point so getting beaten by one of the biggest stars of all time is hardly some career death sentence.

Edge and Lita are enjoying each others’ company but Randy Orton brings Maria in for a question. She asks if the two of them are going to be able to win twice in a row….but there is some kind of hullabaloo in the next room. It’s Cryme Tyme yelling about something so Rated-RKO goes in, with Orton saying they are going to be champions for a long time if this is their competition.

Cryme Tyme calls him a metrosexual and….something else. Orton has no idea what they just said but Edge says he is down with this. He spent a lot of time, ahem, bonding with Whitney Houston videos when he was younger. Maria: “I LOVE WHITNEY HOUSTON!” After a pause over that, Edge promises to make DX just like Cryme Tyme, by beating them black. And blue. Rated-RKO leave but Cryme Tyme stop Maria so they can watch See No Evil together. Maria doesn’t seem interested by they put her on the couch and get rather close to her. Well that got rather creepy in a hurry.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Non-title and Lita has another stipulation: this time Maria has to be blindfolded. Coach puts the hood on her but Mickie gets in a few shots anyway. That doesn’t last long though as Lita knocks her down and hits the DDT. The moonsault (with the leg hitting Mickie in the face) finishes Mickie in a hurry.

Post match Lita grabs the mic and goes on a rant about how awesome she is. She single handedly revolutionized women’s wrestling in WWE. Before her, women were all eye candy but then she brought in moonsaults and Litacanranas. She has sacrificed her knee and her neck while the people yell at her every week. Without her, there is no Mickie James or Trish Stratus because she inspired a generation of women (true, at least on the inspiration part). That’s why it is going to be so easy to walk away on Sunday, because she is retiring after Survivor Series.

Rated-RKO run into Kenny and Big Show, which makes Orton think they are ready.

Here’s a look at the violence on the See No Evil DVD, because now we need the home video pounded into our head too.

Smackdown Rebound.

Survivor Series rundown.

Rated-RKO/Kenny/Big Show vs. D-Generation X/John Cena/Ric Flair

It’s a brawl to start before DX is here to even things up. House is cleaned in a hurry with Edge getting beaten up by all four of the good guys. Big Show saves him from Sweet Chin Music so they beat Show down instead. We take a break and are joined in progress with Kenny slamming Shawn to set up a very quickly broken chinlock.

Orton comes in for some stomping and Show drops the big leg. Edge pulls on both arms at the same time before Orton comes back in….to miss the RKO. That’s enough for the hot tag to Cena and the house is cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Cena hits the FU to finish Kenny in a hurry.

Rating: C-. This felt like they just threw a bunch of people out there at once and hoped for the best, which is not the worst idea in the world. They didn’t want to do anything too big before the pay per view and what we got here was good enough. Cena pinning Kenny isn’t going to hurt him as, again, the Spirit Squad have been portrayed as losers for months. The rest of the people just happened to be there too.

Post match the rest of the teams come in for the big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty good go home show here as it made me want to see the pay per view a lot more than I did before. Having all of those teams out there made for a really cool feeling and having them all in action on Sunday should make for a good show. I liked this more than I was expecting to and you could feel how important the whole thing is going to be when we get to Survivor Series.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – October 31, 2006 (2021 Redo): Mediocre Halloween Everyone

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 31, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a holiday show and I’m not sure what that means. We are just over a month away from December To Dismember and the big story at the moment is Rob Van Dam beating Big Show for the second time in a row to guarantee an ECW Title shot. It is not clear when that match is taking place but we might find that out this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rob Van Dam beating Big Show in a ladder match last week to become #1 contender for good.

Paul Heyman, in a rather bright suit, announces that Van Dam has chosen to have his title shot at December To Dismember. That’s fine with Heyman, but he has one more ruling to make: Van Dam and Big Show will be two of six entrants in the first ever EXTREME Elimination Chamber.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Thorn vs. Sabu

Ariel is here with Thorn, who is knocked outside in a hurry for the slingshot flip dive. Back in and Sabu’s springboard is countered into a sitout spinebuster (that looked good) for two. Thorn takes him down into an armbar for a bit, or at least until Sabu fights up for a springboard elbow. A springboard clothesline has Thorn in trouble but he clotheslines Sabu out of the air. Back up and Sabu nails a springboard tornado DDT, setting up the slingshot flipping Fameasser. The camel clutch makes Thorn tap.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world and that is ok in this case. Sabu is still one of the biggest stars in ECW so it makes sense to have him beat up a low level guy like Thorn. It isn’t like Thorn was going to go very far as a vampire in the first place so let him use whatever he has left to put others over instead.

Sandman wants your vote to face Umaga at Cyber Sunday and beats up a well placed clown.

Video on the animals near the set in the Marine.

Tazz gives Joey…..a noose. Ignore the guy in the gorilla suit behind them.

Here are the debuting Daivari and Great Khali and after a lot of ranting in whatever language Daivari speaks, it’s time for a debut.

Shannon Moore vs. Daivari

Moore is distracted by Khali (who was staring him down) and Daivari starts in on the arm. That’s broken up and Moore hits a few shots to the face, only to get caught in a hammerlock DDT for the fast pin.

Khali lays Moore out post match. This is a good move as ECW has been dying for both fresh blood and new main event stars. It’s like they’re trying to improve!

Rob Van Dam isn’t surprised that Paul Heyman is trying a trick, but he is probably going to be pretty good inside an Extreme Elimination Chamber. Hardcore Holly interrupts and blames Van Dam’s extreme style for his injury. They’re partners tonight and this time around, Holly has his back.

And now, a Diva Halloween costume contest. There are three women, all of whom get to disrobe. Trinity has the bottom half of a swimsuit and caution tape around the top. Ariel is in pretty much her usual attire and even Justin Roberts calls her out on it. Kelly Kelly is dressed as Punk, complete with the taped up fists, tattoos (including the Pepsi logo) and STRAIGHT EDGE written on her stomach. Believe it or not, Trinity wins with ease. Cue Mike Knox to yell at Kelly but the real CM Punk makes the save.

Post break, Knox challenges Punk for next week.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Test

Holly and Test start, though the fans cheer for and receive Van Dam. Some elbows to the face have Rob in trouble but he’s right back out of the corner with a spinning high crossbody. Granted that doesn’t mean much when Test pulls him out of the air, but he does manage to escape and hand it off to Holly. This time it’s Test getting beaten down, allowing Van Dam to come back in for a legdrop in the corner.

Test is back up to send Van Dam into Show’s boot but Rob kicks him out to the floor. A running crossbody over the top knocks Holly to the floor and we take a break. Back with Test elbowing away in the corner and choking Rob with his boot. Rob comes back with a spinning kick to the face but it’s off to Show to blast Holly with a clothesline. Holly’s chops are cut off with a superkick and Test sends him shoulder first into the post.

Show comes back in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing Rob to come back in. A shot to the knee lets Rob hit a top rope flip attack, followed by Rolling Thunder. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped as Holly hits the spinning Alabama Slam on Test. Show runs Holly over but Rob is up with the top rope kick to the face. Rob follows him to the floor….but the gorilla from earlier hits Van Dam with a pipe. The chokeslam finishes Van Dam.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here as Test continues to be the surprise of ECW. He isn’t lighting the world on fire but he is perfectly fine in the monster role and that’s all he needs to be. It’s also not the best sign for Holly’s future that he still hasn’t won anything since his injury, but I can see why pushing Holly might not be the most popular idea in the world.

It’s Heyman in the gorilla suit.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty fast show here but the best thing is bringing in another big star. I know Khali might not be everyone’s favorite, but this show has been dying for another main event name. Hopefully the move breathes some life into the place, though Khali does have a pretty firm ceiling above him. Just having a target like December To Dismember should help a lot, though I have no idea what they are going to be able to put on the card with six names in one match.

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ECW On Sci Fi – October 17, 2006: The Bad What If

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 17, 2006
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Things are getting a little interesting around here and I’m not sure where that is going to go. Above all else, Big Show needs something to do other than prepare for John Cena and Booker T. at Cyber Sunday. I’m not sure what there is for him to do here, but we could be in for a fresh direction. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Sandman vs. Matt Striker

Singapore Cane on a Pole match. Sandman is already busted open before the bell and cuts off Striker’s early climbing attempt. Striker goes after the knee and hits a Robinsdale Crunch but Sandman cuts him off again. Another shot to the knee has Sandman down but he’s up again to meet Striker on top. Striker throws him down hard and he finally gets the cane (Tazz: “Like a little monkey!”). Some shots to the head rock Sandman but he takes the cane away and cracks Striker in the head, setting up a pretty obvious blade job. Striker realizes he’s bleeding and bails for the countout.

Rating: D+. This was an angle instead of a match with Striker not exactly being the strongest in the ring. Then again Sandman isn’t either so having them get in and out in less than four minutes was the right idea. Imagine how bad this could have been had they tried something more complicated. The fact that it was such a potential problem is rather telling about ECW.

Fans like the Marine.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

Rematch from Punk beating him in a hurry. Dupree slaps him to start and bails into the ropes but manages a jumping back elbow to the face. A clothesline sets up the neck crank but Punk is back up with some strikes to the face. The kick to the head sets up the Anaconda Vice to make Dupree tap in a hurry.

Post match here’s Mike Knox to tease a brawl but he runs away before anything happens.

Rob Van Dam is happy to have his shot against Big Show tonight and knows he’ll do enough to earn a title shot.

Here’s Test for a chat. Test calls himself the Impact Player of ECW and brings up Hardcore Holly’s injury from a few weeks ago. After seeing Test attack Holly the following week, Test promises to make an example out of Holly when he comes back next week. Test says his ruthlessness knows no bounds but here’s Balls Mahoney to interrupt. Mahoney challenges him for tonight but Test says maybe later. That’s not how wrestling works though.

Test vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney starts fast but gets knocked down in a hurry, allowing Test to start in on the arm. A Stunner to the arm sets up an armbar but Mahoney is back with the snap jabs. The Nutcracker Suite gets two but Test kicks him in the face and grabs a TKO to finish. Short and to the point here.

Sabu vs. Shannon Moore

As we hear about the upcoming December To Dismember show, Sabu knocks Moore down in a hurry but can’t get the camel clutch this early. Instead Sabu hits a springboard clothesline to put Moore outside, setting up a slingshot dive. Back in and a running clothesline sets up a moonsault for two on Moore. Sabu misses a charge but Moore misses a Whisper in the wind, allowing Sabu to hit a slingshot Arabian facebuster for the fast pin.

Big Show talks about how lucky Rob Van Dam is for getting to step in the ring with the Champion Of Champions. Van Dam should thank Paul Heyman for giving him the show, because Van Dam has been ducking the champ. If Van Dam can pull off the miracle tonight, he can have a title shot. Show hits on the interviewer (Rebecca from the Diva Search) and leaves.

The Marine has action!

Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. They stare at each other for a bit until Show shoves him down. Rob strikes away and kicks at the knee, only to get knocked down with a hard shot to the face. A neck snap staggers Show though and there’s the top rope flip dive to take him down. Show crotches him on top though and we take a break.

Back with Show dropping an elbow and choking away, followed by a chop to make Van Dam’s eyes bug out. More choking on the ropes lets Show keep the pace down and a clothesline drops Van Dam for two. Rob is back with some right hands and a jumping kick to the face, followed by the top rope kick to the face.

Rolling Thunder gets two, with Show’s kickout sending Van Dam flying. A spear drops Rob again though (as it should) but he avoids a Vader Bomb. Show bumps the referee though and Van Dam counters the DDT into a chokeslam. Cue Test to stomp on Van Dam but here’s Hardcore Holly to chair both of them down. Van Dam hits the Five Star for the pin and the future title shot.

Rating: C+. Van Dam did his thing here and it worked out as well as it could have. Show is someone who is at his best when he stands there and does basic power stuff while the other person bounces around. That’s what we had here and Van Dam’s striking works well in the David vs. Goliath formula. Nothing great, but it did well enough, even with the interference.

Overall Rating: C. They kept the show moving as getting five matches in over the course of an hour is fairly impressive. Van Dam is about as good of a challenger as they have at the moment and while I can’t imagine him getting the title back, it is all that makes sense. The rest of the show was the usual set of short matches, which makes sense on a short show, but I can’t help wondering if it is out of fear for what these people could do in a longer match.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – October 10, 2006: Just One Reason

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 10, 2006
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Attendance: 5,585
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re coming off a good show last week as Test beat Rob Van Dam in a pretty good Extreme Rules match. That being said, I’m not entirely sure where things are supposed to go. This show is dying for some top faces and I’m not sure how many of them are available. As for tonight though, it’s an Attitude Era flashback with Extreme Strip Poker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This one is rated TV-MA and we get a special disclaimer.

We go straight to the poker room, with Balls Mahoney as our dealer. The women introduce themselves and talk about how nice their underwear is. Mahoney gets to the rules: everyone is dealt a card, lowest card loses clothing. Dang it I was looking forward to seeing the poker. Ashley loses first and hands Mahoney her shirt.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

Punk takes him down for an early two as we go split screen to see Kelly Kelly taking off her shoes. Dupree gets in a right hand to knock Punk off the apron and into the announcers’ table as we see Trinity lose part of her top. Back in the arena, Punk fights out of a chinlock and hits a running leg lariat. A powerslam sets up the Anaconda Vice to make Dupree tap.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing more than an excuse to have the poker deal going on at the same time, which is likely going to be a theme tonight. Punk winning is the right move of course and while Dupree losing so soon is a bit strange, how far was he going to go around here in the first place? Dupree isn’t someone with much of a future and I think that’s been known since the day he showed up around here.

Maria takes off her stockings and Candice loses her skirt.

Post break and it’s Dealer’s Choice, meaning Mahoney gets to pick what the loser loses. Krystal loses her skirt. Ashley spanks her and a brawl is teased.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Ariel is here with Thorn. Dreamer is sent shoulder first into the post as we see Ashley losing her shoes. The arm is bent around the ropes and the armbar goes on as Ashley helps Candice remove her top. Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A middle rope elbow misses though and a sitout Rock Bottom into a spinebuster gives Thorn two of his own. Dreamer gets knocked to the apron but manages a neck snap across the top, setting up the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match and that’s not surprising given the main theme of the show. In the opposite of the opener, I’m not sure I get the idea of having Thorn lose here as even though the vampire gimmick is hardly something with the best long term hope, Thorn has enough of a presence to him that you could see him becoming something. This is hardly a death sentence, but it’s kind of a weird choice.

Kristal loses her shoes and Mahoney is rather happy.

Video on Hardcore Holly’s injury against Rob Van Dam two weeks ago, plus Test attacking him last week.

The women talk about men they find attractive. This turns into a Marine discussion, plus talking about Batista. Kelly is asked about CM Punk but Mahoney cuts it off to deal another hand. Kelly loses her skirt but throws in the top and bra for bonuses.

Video on the Marine premiere at Camp Pendleton.

Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Sandman vs. Test/Big Show/Matt Striker

During the entrances, Ashley loses her skirt and Kristal loses her top as the camera avoids the now topless Kelly. Test and Van Dam start things off with Van Dam being stomped down in the corner. The middle rope spinning crossbody and a kick to the face drop Test and it’s a Rolling Thunder/slingshot legdrop combination to give Sabu two. Sandman comes in and gets dropped in a hurry, meaning it’s off to Striker to hammer away.

Maria loses her skirt and we come back with Show coming in for the showdown with Sandman. Trinity loses her skirt as well and Test gets in a cheap shot from the apron to slow Sabu down. We take a break and come back with Test hitting a series of backbreakers for two on Sabu. It’s off to Striker for two off a neckbreaker and a running knee sends Sabu outside.

Van Dam has to save Sabu from Test and it’s back inside for Striker’s clothesline. Show runs Sabu over and Maria loses her top (Tazz: “I guess she lost a hand or something there.”). Test stomps on Sabu and we hit the bearhug. Striker dives into a kick to the face and the hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Five Star hits Striker, setting up Sandman’s Rolling Rock for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was strange seeing Sabu and Sandman wrestle a normal match and I think I can see why it didn’t happen very often. The match was hardly terrible but it was slow and boring without varying from the standard formula in the slightest. It was nice to see someone other than Van Dam get the win and Test continues to be fine as the monster, but it felt like a house show main event on TV.

We go back to the poker with Kelly covering herself and Candice losing and accusing Maria of cheating. The catfight is on and they lose the rest of their clothes so censored nudity (Mahoney: “ECW! I LOVE THIS JOB! ECW!”) ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was about one thing and one thing only and that worked about as well as you could have expected it to. What else was going to happen here? The women wore their outfits, then wore smaller outfits, then there was a segment at the end to appeal to 12-13 year olds. It was a ratings ploy that felt straight out of the Attitude Era and while not exactly interesting, it served its purpose well enough. In other words, stupid, not exactly thrilling, and as expected.

Then there was everything else and that wasn’t much. This show didn’t exactly offer anything of note in the realm of groundbreaking material, but the women were the focus anyway. It isn’t a good sign that we’re four months into the show and they already need ratings ploys, but Renee Dupree, Tommy Dreamer and Matt Striker aren’t going to draw in the biggest audiences. I got what they were going for here and fair enough, but a totally skippable show this week.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – October 3, 2006: His Best Match Ever

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 3, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Things have gotten a bit more interesting around here in recent weeks after Hardcore Holly ripped his back apart in a match with Rob Van Dam last week. That is the kind of moment that made this place actually feel extreme and if they can do something like that (without horribly injuring someone) they might be onto something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman and Hardcore Holly look at the injury last week with Heyman saying Holly can’t wrestle Rob Van Dam tonight, no matter how much he wants to. Heyman is worried about a lawsuit but Holly grabs him by the coat (Heyman: “BOB!”) and shoves him into a locker. Cue Test with a chair to the back to put Holly down in agony. Test will get to face Rob Van Dam tonight instead.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Matt Striker/Big Show

That is one of the oddest tag matches I have ever seen. Sabu and Show start things off with the right hands not having any effect on the giant. A headbutt drops Sabu and it’s off to Striker to slowly stomp away. The springboard leg lariat puts Striker down but Show low bridges Sabu out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Show suplexing Sabu so Striker can get two. Striker sends Sabu face first into Show’s raised boot and then takes him down by the hair. Sabu gets in a shot of his own though and the hot tag brings in Sandman (to a heck of a pop). Everything breaks down and Show breaks up the White Russian legsweep. A splash from Show lets Striker steal the pin.

Rating: D+. As weird as that was, including the loud pop for Sandman’s hot tag, this wasn’t much of a match. I’m not sure what you would have expected from something like this though, as you have Show and almost no one else, which doesn’t make for the strongest setup. I do like them trying something fresh though as they have to bring in someone new at some point.

We look at Holly being attacked again. Turning Holly face off of that injury would be….I’m not sure how that would work actually.

Kelly Kelly and Trinity promote next week’s Extreme Strip Poker with Kelly opening her top to reveal a pair of strategically placed aces.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Thorn

Ariel is here with Thorn, who shoves Dreamer off the middle rope to start and hammers away. A missed charge in the corner lets Dreamer grab a neckbreaker for two and there’s a swinging neckbreaker for the same. The Dreamer DDT gets two as Ariel puts the foot on the rope. The referee yells at her, allowing Thorn to get in the walking stick shot for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another lame match here, mainly due to the time. Thorn still feels like a token supernatural character and that isn’t the most appealing idea. Dreamer is still fine enough for a midcard spot around here and it would be weird to not have him as part of ECW. Not very good here, but what else were they supposed to do?

The Marine still exists.

Maria and Candice Michelle want to play poker.

CM Punk vs. Danny Doring

Butterfly backbreaker into the kick to the head and Anaconda Vice for the tap in just over a minute.

Post match Kelly Kelly comes out and dances for Punk but Mike Knox cuts her off. Knox tells him to stay away from Kelly, but Punk says she won’t stay away from him. The brawl is teased but doesn’t happen.

Ashley and Kristal have more poker trash talk, because that’s a thing.

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Extreme Rules. Van Dam kicks away to start but gets sent outside in a heap. The choking on the barricade doesn’t work but neither does Rob’s spinning kick to the back. That’s enough for a banged up knee so Test grabs the steps, which bounce off the post and fall back onto his face instead. Despite the bad knee, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

The table is set up at ringside but Test blasts him with a clothesline back inside. A chair is kicked into Rob’s face and Test puts another one in the corner. Rob is able to grab a chair and throw it at Test’s face, setting up a heck of a sunset powerbomb to send Test through the table (in a nice call back to Holly’s injury). We take a break and come back with Paul Heyman coming out to the ring. Test kicks Van Dam low and then sends him outside, where the security guards beat up Van Dam even more.

Back in and Van Dam is sent head first into the chair in the corner for two. The bearhug goes on so Rob escapes in a hurry, only to get chaired in the face again. The turnbuckle pad was taken off somewhere in there but Van Dam kicks him down for a save. Rob skateboards the chair into Test’s face in the corner but Rolling Thunder only hits chair.

Test goes up top with a chair and drives it onto the chair onto Van Dam’s face (that looked good) for two. Another table is set up inside, where Van Dam counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two of his own. Test goes into the exposed buckle and is then sat on the table, but Van Dam has to go after the security guards. Cue Show to send Van Dam through the table and Test’s TKO is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. That has to be Test’s best match ever and while it was hidden behind a bunch of smoke and mirrors, it worked out rather well in the end. Test gets the big win and Van Dam’s punishment continues, but they need to give him something sooner or later. Heck of a main event though and I had a lot of fun with the whole thing.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped a lot but next week’s show does not sound like their best offering. It’s good that they are setting up stories for later, but there are still a bunch of things that are not exactly interesting. The strip poker deal might be the biggest ratings ploy ever and feels like it belongs on Raw in 1999, though it should do its job well enough. I liked enough stuff on here and given where some of the previous shows had been, this worked fine.

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ECW on Sci Fi – September 19, 2006: King Me

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: September 19, 2006
Location: DCU Arena, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re continuing with the guest stars this week as King Booker is here. There are worse ideas than having him around, though I can’t imagine it being some big game changer. Other than that, we’ll likely get more of the ECW Originals vs. new guys, which should have some legs just for how many people are involved. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell arrive, with Paul Heyman literally rolling out the red carpet. Heyman is going to introduce them to his locker room.

Opening sequence.

Sabu/Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Mike Knox/Test/Matt Striker

This is Striker’s first match on the show. Dreamer and Knox circle each other for a bit to start before it’s off to Striker, who runs away from Sandman in a hurry. Knox comes in and gets neckbreakered by Dreamer, followed by a Cactus Clothesline. Test drives Dreamer into the post and Striker knocks Sandman into the barricade….so hard that Sandman is taken out as we go to a break.

Back with the match in handicap form and Test elbowing Dreamer in the face in the corner. The running corner clothesline lets Test stand on his back and it’s off to Striker for a quickly broken chinlock. Instead, Striker hammers away with right hands before handing it back to Test for another whip into the corner.

The bearhug lets Knox take his turn at hurting Dreamer but he misses a middle rope legdrop. A reverse DDT plants Knox and the hot tag brings in Sabu to a big reaction. House is cleaned, including the springboard spinning legdrop to Knox, plus Air Sabu. Test saves Striker from the camel clutch and then shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch Sabu on top….which is the ultra rare ECW DQ, which does not have the fans in the best mood.

Rating: D+. As usual, one of the biggest problems continues to be the lack of anything outside of basic power moves from Test and Knox. They aren’t interesting and having them as some of the higher profile heels on the show isn’t doing ECW any favors. The ECW Originals are fine as a unit with nothing else to do, but it’s not like Sandman being out of the match caused any major changes.

Post match the big beatdown is on until Sandman staggers out for the save with the Singapore cane.

Heyman introduces King Booker and Queen Sharmell to CW Anderson and Stevie Richards, but they are both disturbed by Balls Mahoney.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Ariel is here with Thorn so Mahoney brings out Francine in her debut. The women almost get in a fight before the match so Thorn knocks Mahoney outside. Back in and the beating continues until Mahoney grabs a quick kind of powerbomb for two. Ariel trips him down though, meaning the catfight is on (ok go ahead Joey). Mahoney gets distracted and a Razor’s Edge out of the corner gives Thorn the pin.

Booker and Sharmell meet the FBI and Trinity, who does not please Sharmell. Next up is CM Punk, who explains straightedge. Punk likes the idea of a World Title shot against Booker so Heyman hurries the royals out.

Shannon Moore vs. CM Punk

Yes again, though this time Kelly Kelly comes out to watch. Punk hammers away to start and hits a leg lariat, followed by the surfboard to put Moore in more trouble. That’s broken up and Moore gets in some shots of his own as Mike Knox comes out to take Kelly to the back. Punk fights out of a chinlock and kicks away but Moore counters the bulldog out of the corner. A spinwheel kick sets up a Whisper in the Wind but Punk sidesteps the flying man with the neon mohawk without much effort. The high kick sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Rating: C-. Punk is always fun to watch and moving him up to face Knox over Kelly is certain better than having him beat up ECW Originals and Shannon Moore over and over. The match was nothing of course, but the whole point was to have Kelly out there and set up something with Knox. It’s not overly interesting, but it’s a good step for Punk, which is a good idea.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell run into Rob Van Dam. The non-title Extreme Rules match is set up for tonight.

Rene Dupree brags about beating Balls Mahoney last week.

Video on John Cena in the Marine. Again.

Rob Van Dam vs. King Booker

Non-title and Extreme Rules. Rob strikes away in the corner to start but gets shoved off the top and into the barricade to put him down early. Booker whips him hard into the steps, meaning it’s time to bring in a chair. A kick to the face misses but Booker grabs the Book End, setting up the Spinarooni (Extreme Royal version). That takes too long though so Rob knocks him into the corner, setting up the skatedboarded chair to the face. Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Booker connects but it’s a rather delayed two.

The fans want tables but settle for Rob wedging a chair into the corner instead. Since Rob set it up though, he gets catapulted head first into the chair for a nasty crash. The spinebuster onto the chair makes it worse but the Houston Hangover only hits chair. The Five Star connects but here’s Hardcore Holly to chair Van Dam in the back. Holly hits the Alabama Slam and Booker adds the ax kick for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was about as paint by numbers as you can get but they are talented people having a paint by numbers match so it worked out just fine. Holly interfering is a good way to get out of things while keeping Van Dam strong and that’s about as important of a thing as they can do at the moment. The match felt like it belonged on a house show but around here, that’s all it needed to be.

Overall Rating: C-. The lack of star power continues to shine through rather hard around here with Booker being the latest name they have to bring in to help things out. There are only two main event level stars around here in Big Show and Van Dam, but how many times can they use those two? That’s why CM Punk could be the next best hope, because you can see the star power in him. Odds are that is a long way off though so for now, this was another not so great show.

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ECW On Sci Fi – September 12, 2006: You’re In The Garden

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: September 12, 2006
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,298
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Oh yeah I’d say this is a special one. I know that this isn’t the original ECW and it is pretty much the same in name only, but it has to be an especially cool moment for these guys to make it to the World’s Most Famous Arena. We’re still setting up Hardcore Holly as Paul Heyman’s newest enforcer against the combined powers of Rob Van Dam and Sabu. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Paul Heyman, now billed as the Father Of Extreme Championship Wrestling, and with his bodyguards, to open the show. He talks about how everyone is here to witness something special because this is the center of the universe. Heyman talks about how important this building is to a kid who grew up in New York and he thanks….himself for making this happen.

Who else is he supposed to thank? Five years ago, he listened to the people and ECW went out of business. Now he is listening to Vince McMahon on how to grow ECW and it has gone from the Bingo Hall to the Garden. Cue Sabu to take out the bodyguards and get in a few shots on Heyman until the guards get up to pull him off. The guards get Heyman out so Heyman makes Sabu vs. Big Show in an Extreme Rules match for the title. Sabu dives onto the guards. You could hear how special this was to Heyman and that’s pretty cool.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

It’s a brawl to start with Holly backdropping him to the floor and hitting a dive of his own. Rob kicks away but misses the spinning kick from the apron for the big crash. Back in and Holly chokes away on the ropes but a middle rope elbow….well it wasn’t supposed to connect as Van Dam raised his boot but it did connect with Van Dam’s face anyway so it was kind of a weird landing. Rob kicks him down and hits the monkey flip out of the corner, only to get crotched on top. The top rope superplex is broken up though and Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here are Test, Stevie Richards and Mike Knox for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Holly may not be much of a threat to Van Dam but he’s fine as a hard hitting villain who could make him break a sweat. That’s all he needs to be, but ECW could use an imposing or at least threatening heel wrestler outside of Big Show. Test and Knox aren’t exactly people who are going to be top level villains and that can only go so far.

Post match the big beatdown is on until Sandman and Tommy Dreamer make the save. Richards takes the beating. The Old vs. New feud may not be the most original idea but what else are they supposed to do with these guys?

Video on the Marine.

CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore

Fallout from Punk calling him a poser last week. Moore slaps him in the face to start but Punk grabs the Vice in the corner. Some knees set up the strikes to the face into the Rock Bottom. The Anaconda Vice makes Moore tap in a hurry. Thank goodness, as I don’t think I could handle Moore as someone supposed to be taken seriously.

Post break, Kelly Kelly comes up to rub CM Punk’s chest and say what a big fan she is. She would love to go to one of those wild and crazy nightclubs with Punk but she’s only 19. Mike Knox comes in to get rid of her.

Rene Dupree vs. Balls Mahoney

Kevin Thorn and Ariel are at ringside. Dupree gets sent into the corner for the snap jabs to start but Dupree hits him in the face. A middle rope elbow gets two and the French Tickler makes its return (with Tazz not wanting to sing). Back up and they slug it out with Mahoney’s sitout spinebuster getting two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor so it’s chair time, with the referee taking it away from Mahoney. Ariel offers a distraction and Thorn sends Mahoney off the apron and head first into the steps to give Dupree the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like Moore, am I supposed to take Dupree seriously? It wouldn’t seem to be the case, but it also doesn’t make ECW look all that important. These guys weren’t being featured on WWE TV for a reasons and they feel like people who are there because WWE has nowhere else to put them. The repackaging can only do so much, but at least they’re trying. Kind of.

Matt Striker doesn’t like the fans drinking giggle water and watching Sandman. That isn’t good, so the choice is yours: cheer Sandman or come to class and learn.

We look back at HHH vs. Vince McMahon from last night, including Big Show coming in to help the McMahons beat down DX.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Show, with Paul Heyman and security, is defending and it’s Extreme Rules. Sabu whips out a table and chair and after a break, Show swats the chair out of the air. Show knocks him down and sends Sabu to the floor for the beatdown from security. Back in and some headbutts put Sabu down and a running clothesline does it again. Sabu gets smart by kicking him low and now the thrown chair works a bit better.

Show is crotched on the ropes and a jumping kick to the face puts him on the floor. The fans want tables but have to settle for Show running Sabu over again. The chokeslam through the table is countered into a DDT through the table for two instead and some more chair shots put Show through a table at ringside. Show gets posted and Sabu sets up another table but Sabu’s dive is countered into a chokeslam through said table. Back in and the cobra clutch backbreaker retains the title.

Rating: C-. The matches are fine enough for what they are but how many times can we see these two do the same thing? Sabu isn’t going to win the title and we established that a pretty long time ago. Show needs a new challenger, but other than Rob Van Dam, who is there to do that right now? I get why they needed to do a title match in MSG but they need something different to do going forward. I’m just not sure what that is.

Overall Rating: D+. While the Garden is the big point here, and it’s really cool that ECW got to do something there, it’s also not a good show or a good sign for their future. ECW really, really needs to upgrade their roster and I’m not sure how important it is for WWE to send more talent over here. The old vs. new stuff is fine enough and Show works as a champion, but he needs challengers and a lot of the card is pretty weak. I’m not expecting WWE to make that better though and that’s why ECW keeps feeling like it’s in big trouble long term.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi – September 5, 2006: I Love It When A Show…Ok They’re Not There Yet

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 5, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for more guest stars as a ticked off DX is here to face Big Show in a handicap match. For once this is actually part of a story as DX will be facing Show and the McMahons in the Cell at Unforgiven. Hopefully this serves as a good setup for the match, but you never can tell what you are going to get around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of DX surviving against the McMahons and company at Summerslam.

DX arrives and confirms that this is the right place (HHH: “Bingo.”). Good thing their travel arrangements were properly made.

Opening sequence.

Sabu/Rob Van Dam vs. Test/Mike Knox

Extreme Rules and Kelly Kelly is here with the monsters. Since it’s Extreme Rules, we start with Sabu vs. Knox because WWE doesn’t understand their own rules. Sabu gets in a shot to Knox and quickly brings in Van Dam, which is probably the best idea in the “extreme” portion. The first table is loaded up at ringside and Sabu grabs a chair for a bonus. Rob manages a spinwheel kick in the corner and Rolling Thunder gets two on Test. Sabu comes in for his half of a double springboard leg lariat for two on Knox.

Everything breaks down (at least they didn’t waste time) and Van Dam has to kick Test in the face to save Sabu from a gorilla press. Everyone but Sabu fight on the apron in front of the table so Sabu uses the chair as a launchpad to drive through all through said table. We take a break and come back with Test breaking up the Triple Jump Moonsault but getting chaired into the corner.

Van Dam skateboards the chair into Test’s face but Knox chairs him down to break up the Five Star. There’s a superplex to Van Dam, only to have Sabu hit Knox with a chair for two. Another chair shot gets one with Test making the save but Air Sabu hits him in the corner. The Triple Jump Moonsault connects for a rather delayed two and it’s time for a fresh table. Rob starts throwing the chairs and it’s the guillotine legdrop/Five Star to drive Knox through the table for the pin.

Rating: C+. The dumb tagging part aside, this actually felt like something involving ECW, which is one of the only times that has been the case so far. If nothing else, it would be a lot to take to see Sabu and Van Dam lose to these two goons. At least they seem to be starting to move in a slightly better direction, but it might already be too late.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel do their tarot card thing and decide it means something sexual.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom with Striker telling everyone that they’re stupid. These people need to stop learning about Michael Vick and read more books by Rush Limbaugh. He’s too smart to be stupid though and as a result, he won’t swim in the ocean with stingrays (it was earlier in the week). Cue Sandman through the crowd (Striker: “You’re a little bit inebriated! Come on!”) to chase Striker off and write SUX under Striker’s name on the chalkboard. Striker says that just proved his point before leaving.

Video on the Marine.

Stevie Richards vs. Balls Mahoney

Before the match, Kevin Thorn and Ariel come to the commentary booth, where Ariel climbs onto Joey for a lap dance. Richards takes Mahoney down inside as Joey is sounding a little more nervous than usual. Mahoney fights out of a chinlock in a hurry but is right back down in it a few seconds later. This time the comeback actually works with Mahoney getting a rollup for two. Thorn and Ariel get on the apron for a distraction though and Richards hits a low blow for the fast pin.

Shannon Moore says he’s bringing sexy back. CM Punk comes up to call him a poser and slaps him in the face. Punk leaves and Moore starts crying.

Big Show vs. D-Generation X

Non-title and Paul Heyman and his security are here. Before the match, Heyman says he has made a mistake and this will NOT be under Extreme Rules. There are no tags here so HHH slugs away and helps Shawn get in a DDT. Show isn’t having any of this double suplex stuff though and sends DX into various corners.

The Vader Bomb misses but it’s time for the security guards to go after HHH. That leaves Shawn alone with Show in the ring, where a gorilla press cuts off the LET’S GO DX chant. We hit the bearhug on Shawn so he gets smart by going to the eye in a hurry. HHH comes back in for the facebuster and the spinebuster but Hardcore Holly comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was as glorified of a cameo as you could have had from DX but you have three main event stars in a match so it’s not like they were going to be too bad. Holly coming in for the DQ at the end was a lame way to go but it made the most sense given the circumstances. It was as good as it was going to be here and everyone carried their part well enough.

Post match the brawl is on with the security guards helping put Shawn down. HHH comes in with the sledgehammer (including swinging it down onto one of the heads of one of the helmeted guards) and the villains run to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the better ECWs so far and a lot of that is because it wasn’t the villains running roughshod over everyone. At some point you have to have the good guys give you some hope spots and that is what they did here. The show still isn’t great, but after everything they have been doing so far, the last few weeks have been a nice breath of air. Who knew Hardcore Holly might have been the secret all along?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi – August 29, 2006: It’s Starting To Come Together

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 29, 2006
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Believe it or not, this week’s show is about Paul Heyman, who is the big evil around here and therefore has to deal with Sabu. I’m not the biggest Sabu fan, but if they want this show to have anything to do with the original ECW, Sabu is one of their best options. Granted I have no reason to believe WWE is going to have him do anything but challenge for the title so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Big Show beating Sabu again last week but getting put through a table after the match.

Paul Heyman talks about how this is his ECW and now, for the first time ever, he is wrestling in an ECW ring. Like Dr. Frankenstein, he has to destroy his old creation by pinning Sabu 1-2-3.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Van Dam starts fast with a monkey flip to send Holly to the floor so Rob gets the chance to finger point. A slugout goes to Van Dam and he hits the spinning kick to the back with Holly over the barricade. Back in and some right hands in the corner have Holly staggered but he manages to toss Van Dam to the floor for the big crash. The chinlock goes on back inside but Rob fights up because it’s a chinlock, meaning we get the clothesline comeback. The standing moonsault into Rolling Thunder gets two but the Five Star misses. Holly goes to get a chair but Rob takes it away and draws the DQ.

Rating: C-. Holly does fit the smash mouth style of ECW, but he’s also not the kind of name who would have ever been allowed in the original ECW, which is where things start to go downhill. He’s been known as a low level guy for so long that suddenly presenting him as someone who might matter doesn’t work. Just having him beat up Van Dam for a few minutes doesn’t make him a star, and neither does being around for thirteen years and being best known as part of a mostly comedy division.

Post match Rob chairs him away again.

Rene Dupree likes to be in shape because he’s extreme.

Here’s Big Show to talk about how awesome and dominant he is, both here, at Summerslam, on Raw and at Unforgiven. He’s so confident that he challenges DX to face him in a handicap match next week.

Shannon Moore says fight the power.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Joey says Richards should be Punk’s toughest challenge in ECW to date. So is it not official ECW history that Justin Credible was a lame ECW Champion? Richards misses a charge to start and winds up on the floor, allowing Punk to take him down with a suicide dive. Back in and Richards strikes away with some knees to the ribs, followed by a kneeling bearhug of all things. Punk comes back with a leg lariat into a butterfly backbreaker for two. The Anaconda Vice finishes Richards in a hurry.

Rating: D+. The fans weren’t impressed with Punk here but it makes sense to give him win after win. It has worked as a way to establish new wrestlers for the better part of ever and it will work with him. You can see the star power in him as he looks and carries himself like a far bigger deal than almost anyone else around here. That’s one of the best things someone can do and Punk does it as well as almost anyone in ECW.

Video on Sabu.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. Striker thinks people should cheer for him but instead they cheer for the Sandman, who is ossified from his giggle water. See, Striker is an intellectual giant drowning in a cesspool of derelicts. Here’s Sandman for the brawl, with Striker hitting him in the head with a stapler. That’s enough to leave Sandman bloody so Striker can run off.

Kelly Kelly interrupts Balls Mahoney and lets him see what is underneath her robe. Mahoney heartily approves.

Commentary talks about Kurt Angle being released. That’s still a weird way to send him off.

Speaking far too calmly, Sabu promises to massacre Paul Heyman.

Sabu vs. Paul Heyman

Extreme Rules and Heyman’s security is here with him. The guards jump Sabu to start but he manages to get a chair and clean house. Heyman knows he is in trouble but Sabu dives onto the invading Big Show instead, though Show pulls him out of the air. A DDT on the floor drops Show but he’s right back up to beat Sabu down, albeit with the guards’ help. Sabu is beaten down and Heyman screams at Sabu about how he made him. The beatdown continues, with Heyman getting a right hand in on Sabu’s bloody head.

That’s enough to send Heyman running around in celebration because he has blood on his hand. Heyman talks trash but Sabu gets a hand on him so Heyman screams for Show. Sabu is almost thrown through the table but here’s Rob Van Dam to make the save. A Van Daminator puts Show down in the corner and Rob dives onto the guards.

Sabu uses the breather to get in a few shots on Heyman but Show cuts off the springboard dive to put Heyman through the table. Cue Hardcore Holly to Alabama Slam Van Dam through the table, leaving Show to hit the cobra clutch backbreaker on Sabu. A legdrop from Show lets Heyman steal the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was a huge mess of course but I don’t think anyone was buying this as being anything else from the start. It’s smart to have Van Dam get back into the main event scene because he’s easily the biggest name ECW has outside of (maybe) Big Show. If nothing else, he is a bigger name than Sabu and that Show needs a fresh challenger after being Sabu multiple times.

Post match Sabu is chokeslammed through a table so evil posing can end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t very good this week but overall, the show was a leap and a bound better than what it has been doing lately. Above all else, it felt like something was happening for a change and that they had some goals in mind. That’s a lot better than having Show beat up some guest star, which he’ll likely get to do next week. It might not be a good show, but it’s at least a show that makes a bit more sense and that’s a big upgrade after the last few weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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