One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for another ECW show, but this one is a good bit different than what we had last year. While last year’s show was a seemingly stand alone reunion, this is more of a launchpad for the ECW relaunch. The big main event is Rob Van Dam cashing in his Money in the Bank contract for the WWE Title shot but there is also a heck of a grudge tag match between Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very emotional Paul Heyman to get things going. He thanks the wrestlers who wanted to be hardcore instead of a superstar and declares that the tribe of extreme has risen again. This time the Kool-Aid is being poured down the throats of a new generation because they’re back on TV (Heyman: “With a much better deal than we had last time.”) this week on Sci-Fi. This is all because of the fans and Heyman thanks every single one of them. We wrap it up with this show being better than Raw and Smackdown because it’s the only way to finish something like this. You could see how much this means for him and it’s great.

Opening sequence with that still awesome ECW On TNN song.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler comes out with that great evil grin of his and you know he’s loving this kind of a reaction. He does make sure to go over and slap Joey Styles (I’d cheer for that), who jumps into the ring to choke Lawler. That’s broken up so Lawler tries the piledriver, earning himself the Tazmission for the choke out in about thirty seconds. Exactly what it should have been and probably had to be given Tazz’s health issues.

We look at WWE vs. ECW Head To Head with Big Show joining ECW in a nice surprise.

Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Orton’s entrance gets pyro and Joey is aghast at the great heel touch. Angle gets a heck of a reception of his own. Orton bails to the floor after Orton tries to go low on him, causing the fans to call him a certain nickname for a cat. Back in and the early stages of an ankle lock sends Orton right back to the floor as he can’t figure out how to start here. This time around Orton gets headlocked takeover as the fans chant F*** YOU ORTON.

Back up and Orton bails to the floor again as the fans are all over him for the fourteenth time. Orton heads back in and gets smacked in the face, which the fans describe as being B**** SLAPPED. Angle takes him down on the mat again and then offers Orton his head for a headlock. That just earns Orton a belly to back suplex as Angle is toying with him. Angle misses a charge into the post though and Orton finally gets a chance.

The fans implore Angle to F*** HIM UP so he slams Orton down without much effort. A hard whip into the corner cuts Angle down again and a knee drop gets two. Orton fights out of a choke attempt as the fans say he swallows. The chinlock keeps Angle down and the fans immediately dub it boring. Angle fights up and sends him into the corner, setting up the German suplex to a big pop. They trade uppercuts until Angle rolls the German suplexes to put Orton down again.

Orton’s dropkick gets two but the Angle Slam gets the same. Fans: “BREAK HIS ANKLE!” The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry and Orton’s backbreaker is good for two more. Orton goes up top for the high crossbody but Angle rolls through for another near fall. A clothesline blasts Angle but he counters a cradle into the grapevine ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. I know Orton might not be the most popular guy but he’s capable of having some very good matches when he’s in there with the right person. Angle is on a roll at this point though and this was the Wrestling Machine version. I know he’s an outsider and such, but Angle has so much intensity that you can believe he’s all in on ECW. I bought it and they had a pretty great match to really start the show off.

The fans are ALL OVER Orton as he is carried out.

FBI vs. Super Crazy/Tajiri

It’s Little Guido/Tony Mamaluke with Big Guido for the FBI. Well at least it’s not losing to Vito in a dress on Smackdown. Mamaluke goes for Crazy’s arm to start and then flips over with a hammerlock as Joey goes into his “I get to call moves now” deal. Crazy hiptosses Mamaluke down as we hit the NACHO LIBRE chants. Mamaluke grabs a short armscissors but Crazy powers him up and hits a big faceplant. Guido and Tajiri come in and it’s time to start the rapid fire (and hard) kicks.

The Fujiwara armbar has Tajiri in the ropes but he’s right back up to crank on the leg for a bit. Guido gets put in the Tree of Woe so Mamaluke comes in for the save, only to get tied up as well. Crazy and Tajiri hit the stereo dropkicks to send the FBI to the floor and Crazy hits the Asai moonsault. Big Guido jumps Crazy though and the little one sends him into the barricade. Back in and Crazy tries a backdrop but holds the leg a bit, making it a backdrop/flapjack combination.

After that near disaster, Mamaluke holds Crazy in face for a hard dropkick from Guido. Crazy is fine enough to hit a regular flapjack for the hot tag to Tajiri. Guido has to save Mamaluke from a Black Widow so Tajiri starts kicking everyone down. The FBI are whipped into each other and it’s a pair of Tarantulas. Big Guido comes in and gets kicked down just as fast, only to have Crazy get kicked out to the floor. A double fisherman’s buster finishes Tajiri.

Rating: C+. These guys worked well back in ECW and they still have it here. They had a fast paced match with Big Guido offering just enough interference to keep Tajiri and Crazy looking strong in defeat. There’s a reason that these matches were so popular back in the day and they still work well here.

Post match here’s Big Show to clean out all three Italians in a hurry.

Here’s JBL in the balcony to run down ECW as only he can. JBL talks about how Rob Van Dam is only becoming a star because of Vince McMahon and ECW is going to the Sci-Fi channel. Tazz is going with them, but he’s lucky to be leaving because JBL is going to be taking Tazz’s place on the Smackdown commentary team. JBL is perfect for this and much like Heyman, you can feel that he believes a lot of what he is saying.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Mysterio is defending and it’s under Extreme Rules. They both have chairs during the Big Match Intros but the referee makes them put them down for some reason. Instead Sabu goes for the leg to start but then they come to their senses and grab the chairs. After a quick duel, Mysterio gets sent into the corner for Air Sabu. Mysterio does the same thing into a hurricanrana but it’s too early for the 619.

Instead Sabu chairs him to the floor and it’s already time for a table. Sabu bridges it between the apron and the ring but Rey is back up with a top rope moonsault press back inside. Rey gets caught in the ropes though and Sabu hits a quick top rope legdrop for two more. The Arabian Facebuster gets two so Sabu sets up another table at ringside, only to get caught with a springboard seated senton through the wood.

Rey seems a little banged up as well but he’s fine enough for a springboard Fameasser for two. Back up and Sabu hits a springboard leg lariat into the Triple Jump Moonsault (mainly landing on Rey’s face) for two more. Rey tries another 619 but gets a chair pelted at his head instead. Sabu puts him on the table and Rey stands up, meaning it’s a running springboard DDT through the table….and here are the officials to say the match is thrown out.

Rating: B-. A no contest stoppage. In ECW. Meaning Mysterio can’t even win in another promotion. It’s kind of a shame as they were having a heck of a match until the end but at the same time, do you really want to risk Sabu being out there that much longer? The Mysterio stuff is what it is and while you knew Sabu wasn’t going to win the title, maybe it shouldn’t be booked in the first place to avoid Mysterio not winning either.

We recap Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Foley and Edge had a hardcore classic at Wrestlemania so they joined forces and declared themselves co-Hardcore Champions. Foley then ran down the history of ECW, saying that he and Edge had surpassed anything that they had ever done. Terry Funk came out and stood up for both hardcore and to Foley, who saw him as a father figure. Since ECW was mentioned, Dreamer came as the story’s pack-in wrestler so it’s time for a tag match.

Before the match, Foley comes out to soak in the YOU SOLD OUT chants. Foley says he did indeed sell out…Madison Square Garden. He did used to love ECW when it was led by a visionary: Stephanie McMahon. Foley: “LONG LIVE THE ALLIANCE!” Edge and Lita come out with Edge saying this is ECW’s Christmas, and just like Santa Claus, all of their fans are old, fat and bald. Lita says Funk and Dreamer are the innovator of silence. Lita says when she sat on Dreamer’s face for the pin, it was the most action Dreamer has ever gotten, even from that woman of his.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk vs. Mick Foley/Edge

Extreme Rules. Lita is here so Beulah McGillicutty is out with Dreamer and Funk. Before the match, Beulah says that she’s shocked to see what comes out of Lita’s mouth being worse than what goes into it. Since Lita likes threesomes, let’s make this a six person tag.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beulah McGillicutty vs. Edge/Mick Foley/Lita

Extreme Rules. Dreamer and Edge grapple to no avail so it’s off to Funk to slap Foley around a bit. Everything breaks down and Dreamer gets to spit some beer into the air while Funk hammers Foley against the barricade. It’s time to bring in the weapons with Dreamer and Funk cleaning house in a hurry. Foley unloads with right hands against the barricade and Edge ladders Dreamer in the face. The spear into the ladder is countered with a hiptoss though and Funk comes back in with the helicopter ladder.

Funk goes up but gets shoved down for the huge crash. Lita kicks Dreamer low to break up the Death Valley Driver so the fans dub her a crack w****. It’s time for the barbed wire board and Dreamer is slammed down onto it, with his arm being caught in it for a nasty visual. Edge and Foley pick it up but Funk trips them down, sending the wire face first into Foley’s face. Foley gets sent head first into the board but Edge is back up to crotch Dreamer onto the barricade.

Funk gets crushed with the barbed wire board and Foley wraps some wire around his arm. With Funk caught in the wire, Foley cuts the head open so Funk can crawl around and scream as only he can. Medics come out to get Funk to the back and it’s down to 3-2. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat so Lita can drop a leg onto the bat between Dreamer’s legs. The fans want Sandman as Beulah is actually standing on the apron and reaching for a tag.

That’s so dumb that it’s downright adorable. Wanting more in on the fun, Foley drags Beulah in, sending Dreamer into a fit of violence. That earns him a Mandible Claw into the spear but Edge goes over to Beulah instead. Edge grabs a rather suggestive pumphandle on Beulah but here’s Funk with a barbed wire 2×4. The distraction lets Dreamer get in a double low blow and Funk starts wrecking things. That’s not good enough though so, as Bubba Ray Dudley said, why don’t we just light it on fire?

Using the flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire (geez), Funk knocks Foley off the apron and through the barbed wire board, sending a bunch of people with fire extinguishers to put him out. Edge knocks Funk onto the barbed wire as well though, leaving Dreamer to DDT Edge down. Dreamer chokes Edge with the barbed wire as the women get in the catfight. The Death Valley Driver plants Lita but Edge barb wires Dreamer too. The spear with a rather suggestive cover finishes Beulah.

Rating: B+. I liked this way more than I was expecting to as they beat the heck out of each other and the women made things a little bit better. Foley was turning back the clock a bit here and Funk continues to be more and more amazing every time I watch him. There’s something so great and completely unique about him that you can’t take your eyes off of him no matter what he’s doing. Great stuff throughout.

Commentary is impressed as Funk has to be taken out of the wire and looks more annoyed than anything else.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Tanaka has a bad shoulder coming in but is fine enough to take Mahoney down with an early armbar. A running forearm in the corner rocks Mahoney, who comes right back out with a powerslam for two. The BALLS punches have the fans chanting along, with Joey comparing it to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Fair enough actually.

They head outside with Mahoney grabbing a beer and hitting Tanaka in the head. Tanaka sends him into the barricade (near a fan with a PORK sign) and hits a superplex back inside. Mahoney hits one of his own for two and it’s time for a chair duel. Tanaka’s shot misses though and Mahoney chairs him in the head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending made me cringe and this was nothing more than a filler match between the two main events but it worked out fine. Mahoney was popular with the fans and Tanaka almost had to be on the show after last year’s great match with Mike Awesome. Good enough match here and it did what it was supposed to do.

We recap Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Van Dam won Money in the Bank and is cashing in on some friendly grounds as he tries to jump up to the next level. Cena is ready to come into enemy territory and this might be a bit of a rough night for him.

The ring announcer sets up the main event…but here’s Eugene to interrupt and say he loves ECW. His uncle Eric Bischoff used to tell him that he was as smart of an ECW fan. The fans aren’t pleased, which he thinks is a U for EUGENE chant. Eugene even has a poem about how much he loves ECW (“I want to hug all of you and I want a picnic with Sabu!”)….and here’s a rather ticked off Sandman (minus Enter Sandman, which takes away a lot of the impact) to can him beyond all logical necessity.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Cena is defending under Extreme Rules and OH MY GOODNESS THE HATRED IS STRONG. The fans boo Cena so far out of the building, with the famous IF CENA WINS WE RIOT banner making it all the more perfect (mainly because these people would in fact riot). Cena tries to throw the shirt to the crowd but they throw it back four times, making him seem a little shaken, which you don’t see too often (then again, you don’t see a crowd like this very often either).

This is a level of hatred you don’t see very often but thankfully Van Dam does the finger pointing to get the focus off of Cena a bit. The fans throw toilet paper at Cena as the bell rings and there’s the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Cena gets a quick two off a fisherman’s suplex but the chants continue. Van Dam is back with a spinning kick to the face and the fans give him a WHOLE F***ING SHOW chant.

Back in the BOO/YAY punches are on with Cena knocking Van Dam outside. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!” Cena follows with a top rope ax handle to the floor and the fans still aren’t impressed. Since he knows how to be a bit of a heel when he wants to be, Cena holds up the title but Van Dam kicks him away. A moonsault off the apron brings up the RVD chants again but another one off the barricade is shoved into the crowd.

Cena does the bravest thing in his career by following him out but Van Dam is right back with the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. Van Dam hits the slingshot legdrop on the apron and there’s the skateboard dropkick to drive a chair into Cena’s face. Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Cena gets two but Cena gets the chair up to block the split legged moonsault. The YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up again as Cena wedges a chair in the corner.

Van Dam goes head first into said chair for two and Cena rubs the salt in with the Shuffle. The FU takes too long though and Rob scores with a spinwheel kick. Rob drops him onto the apron and hits a dropkick to the floor for another knockdown. It’s table time but Cena pulls him down into the STFU. The rope is grabbed, sending Cena into a shoving match because rope breaks shouldn’t matter here.

Cena decks the referee and throws in some steps to get more violent. A shot to the head gets two from a Smackdown referee but here’s a guy in a motorcycle helmet to spear Cena through a table in the corner. Of course it’s Edge and Rob is back up with the Five Star, with Paul Heyman running in to count the pin to give Van Dam the title.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match that is carried even higher by the crowd reaction. The fans hated Cena and everything he represented, which made things that much better. They had a really good match on their own but the crowd reaction took it to another level. On top of that, it was a heck of a match because the two of them are able to bring it on the big stage under the bright lights. They had a lot of things going on here, and that’s how it should be in an ECW moment. Good stuff, and the only ending they could have had.

Rob is announced as the new ECW Champion and the huge celebration is on. The locker room comes out to celebrate with the champ as Heyman looks very pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. All of the ECW stuff aside, this was a heck of a show and one of the better things that WWE has had in a long time. This felt more like a WWE show with a twist than an ECW show and in this case, that worked out well. Instead of having the ECW centered show, they focused on bringing WWE together with ECW and turned into something a lot more unique as a result. I really liked this one and it gives me hope for the ECW relaunch, though it’s going to be hard to top what they did here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE vs. ECW Head To Head
Date: June 7, 2006
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

This is a special show to help hype up One Night Stand while also giving us more of an introduction to the show. It was actually shown live for a bit of a change of pace and that might make things a little more interesting. I’m not sure what to expect here but hopefully it lives up to ECW’s positive hype so far. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Mick Foley gave Raw and Smackdown a pep talk.

Paul Heyman gave ECW one of their own and it’s a little bit better, believe it or not.

Opening sequence.

Commentary bickers at each other and Tazz and Lawler have to be held back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title and No DQ. They shake hands to start as commentary is going at it already, which is likely going to be the case all night. The feeling out process goes nowhere to start and the fans are rather behind Van Dam. A gorilla press drop into a standing moonsault gives Van Dam two as Joey rants about knowing move names and Tazz being there to analyze them. Rob drops him onto the barricade but misses the spinning kick, allowing Rey to hit a heck of a plancha to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Rey getting crotched on top so Rey can hit the top rope kick to the face. A slingshot legdrop hits Rey and Rob kicks him into the corner. Rob skateboards a chair into Rey’s face into the corner for two but tries to roll forward with the chair in hand, dropping it on the mat in the process. That lets Rey catch him on top for the super sitout bulldog onto the chair but Dropping The Dime hits chair instead. The Five Star finishes Mysterio.

Rating: C+. It was fun while it lasted, though the No DQ stuff added nothing and could have been completely dropped without changing much of anything. On top of that, you have Mysterio losing again, as they are now inventing new shows to have him get pinned elsewhere. That might not be the best idea when you are setting up the big title match with Sabu, but at least Rob got a nice win. There probably should be someone else for him to face, but at least he got the win.

The ECW locker room celebrates as Rey struggles to his feet and picks up the title.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a chat. He isn’t happy with what happened last night when Randy Orton attacked him. Angle has broken a lot of ankles over the years and none of them was any sweeter than Orton’s. This Sunday, Orton and Angle are facing off for the first time ever (Huh?) and it’s Orton vs. ECW Angle. Cue Orton, to say that going from Raw to ECW is like going from being in a blockbuster to being in adult films. Yeah Orton may be facing ECW’s Kurt Angle, but Angle will be facing Monday Night Raw’s Randy Orton. Angle is happy though because he isn’t going to have to answer to anyone, including Vince McMahon. Orton rants about Angle costing him the World Title and now it’s payback time. Angle: “What the h*** are you talking about Randy?” Orton says it’s his destiny to destroy ECW and it’s time to start on Sunday.

Mickie James vs. Jazz

Non-title. Jazz works on the arm to start and kicks at the ribs to slow him down. They head outside with Jazz hitting a Thesz press off the apron to take her down again. Back in Jazz hits the Jazz Stinger for two but the MickieDT is good for the pin in a hurry. That was Mickie’s only significant offense.

After looking at ECW beating him down last week, John Cena talks about what happens if Rob Van Dam beats him on Sunday. This title, which was held by Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin, will be the ECW World Title and he will look like a goat. If Cena wins though, he’s in the middle of the biggest riot in sports entertainment history. He’ll start fighting tonight against the homicidal, genocidal dance recital Sabu, who has messed with the wrong fire breathing son of a b****. Cena was fired up here and it showed.

Here’s Paul Heyman to hype up the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi next week and run down the One Night Stand card. That’s on Sunday though, and for those of you who aren’t exactly familiar, here’s what you can get from an ECW pay per view. We see a highlight package on the outstanding One Night Stand 2005 and now I’m a little more interested in Sunday.

Kurt Angle fires up the ECW locker room.

Big Show fires up the WWE locker room.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Finlay, Shelton Benjamin, Matt Hardy, Edge, Randy Orton, Carlito, Tatanka, Mark Henry, Bobby Lashley, Balls Mahoney, Kurt Angle, Little Guido, Terry Funk, Justin Credible, Sandman, Tony Mamaluke, Tommy Dreamer, Al Snow, Stevie Richards

This is a weird team battle royal as whichever team has someone left standing at the end wins. Dreamer chases Edge on the floor to start and the brawl is on in a hurry. Henry is dumped in seconds and Hardy follows him out. Show punches Guido out and Dreamer gets rid of Tatanka. Sandman dropkick (!) Carlito out and Edge, on the floor but not eliminated, helps pull Dreamer out.

We take a break and come back with Edge pulling Funk out and Finlay tossing Credible. Shelton kicks Snow out and Lashley LAUNCHES Mahoney out. Sandman and Shelton are tossed as well and we’re down to Finlay, Orton, Show, Edge (on the floor) and Angle. That means it’s time to snap off the suplexes and Angle Slam but Finlay is back up to put Angle on top. That’s broken up and Angle catapults Finlay outside. Edge comes in and gets suplexed out but Orton dumps Angle to win. Or not actually, as Show pulls off the shirt to show off the ECW colors and dump Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of something like this and it was only so interesting. At the end of the day this was all about the big surprise at the end and it worked out well enough. Big Show is someone who adds a little star power to ECW but at the end of the day, how far can you really get with him after everything else he has done? They did have some star power in here though and that’s the kind of thing that can help give ECW a bit of a boost.

Post match Angle hugs Show in the, uh, special moment.

ECW celebrates in the back.

Edge vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore and Terry Funk, Mick Foley and Lita are here as well. Dreamer uses a barbed wire baseball bat to knock Edge’s chair out of his hands and they fight outside. A few right hands have Edge in more trouble but he gets in a weapon shot to take over. Back in and Edge gets sent head first into the trashcan but a drop toehold sends Dreamer face first into the back of an open chair.

A running trashcan lid shot gets two on Dreamer and the implant DDT onto the can makes it even worse. Dreamer fights up and ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running dropkick to drive a chair into his face. Commentary bickers about what is real wrestling, with Lawler criticizing tables and Styles ranting about the leprechaun on Smackdown.

Everything breaks down and Foley uses barbed wire to choke Funk. Edge tries a superbomb through the table but Dreamer backdrops him…not through the table, as Edge just lands on his head instead (egads). The Death Valley Driver through the table gets two as Lita makes the save, setting up the spear to pin Dreamer.

Rating: C. It was brutal and violent as it needed to be and that’s the kind of preview that they needed for Sunday. I’m not sure what to expect at the pay per view but dang it could be a heck of a fight if they let these people be themselves. They have done a rather good job of building things up, with Funk looking like only he can. Edge and Dreamer should be perfect additions too, and I’m wanting to see the match.

Post match the brawling continues until they go their separate ways.

See No Evil video.

Post break, Foley, with his eye cut open, it sitting in a chair in the ring and asking who the fans are to think that he sold out. He loved ECW but left to make his fame and fortune in WWE. The difference between himself and Tommy Dreamer is that he isn’t a w****. Years ago, Foley pulled a sock out of his pants and made Vince McMahon laugh so he was famous. Dreamer never did that though because he still has the ECW letters. Foley watched the Wrestlemania match with Edge back but maybe it wasn’t as good as he thought it was. Now they’re going to the Hammerstein Ballroom where 2,500 people are going to want their blood.

Foley has known Funk for years and he is the greatest wrestler that Foley has ever seen. He lit Funk on fire in Philadelphia but Funk put his arm around him. Now Foley doesn’t want that anymore, because it’s time to fight again. You have seen Foley destroyed and thrown off a Cell but that is nothing compared to what he is going to see on Sunday because ECW is calling his name. Foley is going to show you something different at One Night Stand and it will never be the same. This was excellent, as Foley can talk like few others and was on his game here.

Tazz and Lawler get into it again and this time it actually gets physical until security breaks it up (Joey: “LET THEM GO!”).

Post break, everything has settled back down.

We look back at Cena getting beaten down on Raw.

Sabu vs. John Cena

Non-title and Extreme Rules. Cena slugs away to start and knocks Sabu into the corner, setting up the snap suplex for two. A hard whip into the corner has Sabu in trouble but he sends Cena outside for the big dive. Back in and the triple jump moonsault gets two on Cena. Air Sabu hits in the corner for two more and they fight to the floor with Cena crashing out again. That’s good for two back inside but another Air Sabu is countered into the FU. The STF goes on but Big Show runs in….for the DQ/no contest because WWE doesn’t have the EXTREME RULES down yet.

Rating: C-. The ending hurt this a lot and that’s not exactly encouraging before ECW is back. What we got was a good sampling of what Sabu can do, but you never know what you might be seeing when things are back full time. Cena wasn’t going to lose to Sabu, but at least he got some revenge after Raw.

The big brawl is on to end the show with Joey and Tazz talking a lot of trash.

Overall Rating: C. What matters here is the fact that they are treating ECW as a big deal. That worked very well tonight and I want to see where things go with the pay per view as well as the new show. However, I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to believe that things will work out fine when they are back full time, as WWE tends to lose interest in a hurry. What we got worked well enough, but it was hardly some blow away show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 24, 2020
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

It’s the final night in Las Vegas before we head over towards Atlanta for what is now the last set of TV tapings available. We’re on the way towards Rebellion and that likely means a lot more “show is canceled” graphics. It’s not like they have much of a better choice so it’s as good as they can do here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Sami Callihan being revealed as the Realityislost hacker and attacking Ken Shamrock, who had just been announced as the newest Hall of Fame inductee.

Opening sequence.

Willie Mack vs. Chris Bey vs. Acey Romero vs. Daga vs. Rohit Raju vs. Jake Crist vs. Cousin Jake vs. Trey

One fall to a finish and the winner is the #1 contender to the X-Division Title. It’s a brawl to start (of course) and soon it’s Romero running over Bey and Crist on his own. A backsplash crushes Bey but a double missile dropkick puts Romero on the floor. That leaves Trey and Bey to trade missed dropkicks and it’s a quick standoff. Bey knocks Trey to the floor but gets crushed by Raju’s running splash in the corner.

Jake takes Bey’s place and hits a running shoulder to Raju in the corner as the one on one sequence continues. Mack slams Crist and the standing moonsault connects. Mack’s running flip dive takes out Jake and Crist, meaning it’s Daga and Trey going back inside. Bey joins them and gets powerbombed by Daga with Raju making the save. Daga and Raju miss each other a lot so Romero replaces Raju. That means Daga tries to slam him for some reason of general stupidity, leaving Romero to go up top.

The Tower of Doom sends Romero crashing down and Daga’s top rope splash gets two. We go into the parade of strikes to the face until Trey ties up Crist’s legs and suplexes Bey at the same time. Raju makes the save but can’t tornado DDT Jake. Mack’s fireman’s carry spinebuster plants Jake instead but Daga grabs Mack in a northern lights suplex. The dives are on in a hurry but Crist breaks up Romero’s attempt. That just earns him a Pounce, setting up Romero’s big dive to take out everyone else. Back in and Jake spinebusters Crist, only to have Mack hit the Six Star Frog Splash for the pin at 10:44.

Rating: C+. There isn’t much else you can do in this kind of a match as it’s a bunch of insanity until one person finally gets the win. Mack going after Ace Austin could be interesting and it wasn’t like there was another realistic option, save for perhaps Daga. It was as good as it could have been and a nice way to start the show.

Dave Crist tries to fire up Mad Man Fulton. Jake runs in to say it’s time to get back on a winning streak. Sami Callihan is testing them you see, but Dave says no one has spoken to them in months. They won’t do the thumbs up, thumbs down because they’re waiting for Sami.

Announcers preview the show.

Moose vs. Chase Stevens

Fallout from last week’s backstage fight. Moose jumps him before the bell but No Jackhammer Needed hits the buckle. An ax kick gives Chase two and a powerslam is good for the same. Back up and No Jackhammer Needed finishes Stevens at 1:15.

Post match Moose beats him up a bit more, including some chair shots to the ribs. Moose loads up a Pillmanization of the face but Scott D’Amore comes in to say if Moose wants TNA he can turn around. Cue Suicide to take Moose out as I STILL can’t believe they want to relive the TNA days.

Rosemary is still at the bar and rants about spending two years extracting revenge from the dark side. Someone off camera says “Two years? That’s it?” and it’s….Raven. He doesn’t think much of two years of hatred. Take him for example: it’s been twenty years and sometimes he isn’t sure if he hates Tommy Dreamer or loves him. Raven describes it as “orgasmic” because it goes on forever. He can’t wait to be in the same nursing home as Dreamer so he can cut the bag on Dreamer’s IV.

Ace Austin and Reno Scum come up to Willie Mack in the back. Willie isn’t buying into the mind games because he’s taking the title. Johnny Swinger comes in to say that’s it for the Mack and Pack Connection, but the miz-arks really want to see the two of them fight for the X-Division Title. That’ll get him some rats.

Reno Scum vs. Rascalz

Dez and Wentz of course. A quick spinebuster plants Dez and it’s a catapult into a Death Valley Driver for a very early two. Dez gets sent into the corner before he can even take his hoodie off and there’s the Pit Stop to make it worse. A kick to the face allows the double tag to Wentz and Luster as the pace picks up. Everything breaks down and it’s Wentz being sent outside, leaving Dez to take a top rope Curb Stomp for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: D+. Just a nothing match here with Reno Scum continuing to offer almost nothing whatsoever, likely aside from working cheap. There have been very few moments where I’ve seen anything int hem and this was no exception. That being said, what the heck happened to the Rascalz? They were awesome when they came in and now they can barely ever win a match, even a clean loss like this to Reno Scum.

Another Tenille Dashwood video. Is there a point to these or are we just at the start of their version of Emmalina?

Flashback Moment of the Week: LAX beats Team 3D to win the vacant Tag Team Titles at Sacrifice 2008.

Joey Ryan gives something close to a PSA about keeping Katie Forbes safe from the Deaners.

The Deaners aren’t sure what it means to be canceled, or what toxic masculinity means.

Sami Callihan is in a small room and asks why he did what he did. Impact has made him wrestle Shamrock one on one on pay per view and that’s not cool. Shamrock was the World’s Most Dangerous Man but now that’s him, because he sees everything.

Dave Crist/Mad Man Fulton vs. Sabu/Rhino

Old School Rules and Super Genie is here with Sabu and Rhino. Dave and Sabu start things off with a clothesline sending Dave to the corner. It’s off to Fulton vs. Rhino as I try to figure out why we are having tags in a match under ECW rules. Everything breaks down in a hurry and they all wind up on the floor, with the fight heading to the ramp. A chair is dropped though and Fulton sends Rhino into the corner back inside.

Rhino fights back on Dave without too much trouble and hands it back to Sabu. That means a slam from Fulton and Crist yells at the referee over a near fall. Sabu is back up with a cutter and the hot tag brings in Rhino to clean house. Genie throws in a chair so Sabu can hit Fulton, setting up a dive to the floor. Dave hits Rhino low and grabs the chair, but stops to swing at the referee. That means a Gore from Rhino to pin Dave at 8:14.

Rating: D-. So they barely used the weapons, the match was sloppy, they stopped in the middle of the brawling segment, and then Rhino pinned Crist. I know Callis wants to keep his old buddies around and give them a payday but could they get something close to decent in the ring? Or beat up less important opponents?

Su Yung uses the coffin to go to the Undead Realm to face Havok. She finds some people tied up, James Mitchell, and Havok herself. Mitchell says Yung has to go so Havok grabs a crowbar. Yung has a sword and the fight is on with Yung choking with the noose. One of the chained up men breaks free and hits Yung with a pipe and various other things to keep her down….until she cuts his throat with the sword.

Havok saves Mitchell from the save fate but gets caught with the Mandible Claw. Mitchell stops them and says Yung has proven that she should have been with him the whole time. The minions come in to grab them both though and Mitchell sends them to the Wastelands, which look like a desert.

Tessa Blanchard/Eddie Edwards vs. Michael Elgin/Taya Valkyrie

John E. Bravo is here with Elgin and Valkyrie. Eddie and Elgin start but Tessa wants to come in instead. That means it’s off to Tessa instead, with a quick leg trip taking Taya down. A spear drops Tessa as well, but she’s right back up to face Elgin. Some shots to Elgin’s knee slow him down and it’s off to Eddie, who has to slip out of a suplex attempt.

A Bravo distraction lets Taya pull Tessa off the apron and Elgin’s pop up powerslam gets two on Eddie. Back from a break with Eddie still in trouble but turning it into a slugout with Elgin. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets Eddie a breather and the hot tag brings in Tessa to clean house. Both men save their partners from getting slammed down but Tessa hurricanranas her way out of a superbomb. Eddie comes back in for the rapid fire chops to Elgin, followed by the overhead belly to belly to put him on the floor.

Bravo gets knocked off the apron and there are the double dives to take out the villains. A Codebreaker out of the corner into a tiger driver gets two on Elgin with Taya making the save. Eddie kicks Taya to the floor but Magnum is countered into a powerbomb onto Eddie’s back. Tessa is back up with a reverse hurricanrana and tornado DDT to Elgin but Elgin blasts Tessa down. The Elgin Bomb doesn’t work on Eddie, who strikes Elgin down instead. Taya’s distraction sets up the buckle bomb into the Elgin Bomb for the pin at Taya cuts Tessa off at 18:04.

Rating: B. Good, hard hitting match here as Impact has figured out how to do man vs. woman without it being hard to accept (granted having Tessa and Taya can make that a lot easier). This sets Elgin up as a monster going after the title at Rebellion and I’m not sure how that whole thing would have wound up. Odds are we’ll see the match at some point and I’m curious to see how it goes, so well done on that front.

We go back to the Wastelands….and Rosemary just happens to be there. She doesn’t care what Mitchell did to them and the alliance is formed. They wind up back in Mitchell’s lair, with Rosemary putting on sunglasses and going off on her own. Mitchell tells Havok and Yung that it was just a test and they can be a unit. Mitchell stabs him in the stomach with a dagger and Mitchell dies, only to wake up in Heaven with….a cat and Abyss? Mitchell: “Who booked this s***?”

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked out rather well with most of the show working out well. They did some good stuff to get rid of Mitchell (you knew that was going to be something zany) and it was an entertaining enough show. I’m not sure what they’re going to do in four weeks when we get done with what should have been the go home show for Rebellion. This was good though, and that’s what matters most at the moment.

Results

Willie Mack b. Cousin Jake, Trey, Daga, Acey Romero, Chris Bey, Rohit Raju and Jake Crist – Six Star Frog Splash to Jake

Moose b. Chase Stevens – No Jackhammer Needed

Reno Scum b. Rascalz – Top rope curb stomp to Trey

Rhino/Sabu b. Dave Crist/Mad Man Fulton – Gore to Crist

Michael Elgin/Taya Valkyrie b. Tessa Blanchard/Eddie Edwards – Elgin Bomb to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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November To Remember 1994
Date: November 5, 1994
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,000
Commentator: Joey Styles

This is one of the promotions I can’t escape no matter how hard I try. It’s a requested show that was just dropped on the Network a few weeks back and since it’s ECW’s flagship event, it’s probably worth a shot. In theory that is as ECW is one of the most unpredictable promotions in the world. Let’s get to it.

This must be the full version as we even see the ring announcer coming to the ring. He lists off some of the names on the card but only one specific match. In something that feels rather un-ECW, he throws some hats to the fans, followed by presenting an “extreme version” of the National Anthem. A guy in an event staff shirt plays the song on an electric guitar and this is always weird to see/hear.

It goes so badly that Paul Heyman and his bodyguard 911 break it up with 911 chokeslamming the guy. Heyman grabs the mic, complains that it doesn’t work, and has 911 chokeslam the guy again. We’re not ready to go yet though as Heyman sends 911 after the ring announcer. That means another chokeslam, with Heyman saying that the guitar playing was terrible and he always hated the ring announcing.

We’re STILL not done though as Heyman hits the announcer with his phone and has 911 hit another chokeslam. We hear Joey Styles asking if the mic is hot and if he is on as Heyman and 911 leave. The announcer has to do a stretcher job as the fans want CPR. We’re clipped to the announcer being taken out and now, over ten minutes in, it’s time for the opening match. I’m sure the live fans liked this but it just kept going.

JT Smith vs. vs. Hack Myers

Myers is something close to a biker and kind of a cult favorite. Smith is from Philadelphia but the fans don’t seem to like him very much. An early hiptoss and fall away slam on the much bigger Myers give Smith two but he misses a dropkick. Myers hits his left hands so the fans can shout SHAH on each one for some reason. A running splash to Smith’s back connects in the corner and it’s a legdrop across the bottom rope.

The first chair shot of the night has Smith in more trouble as we’re waiting on the comeback. That’s some great timing as Smith hits a dropkick on the floor and drops an elbow with the chair. Smith’s running splash sends them over the barricade as Joey talks about how extreme this is. Back in and they trade some rollups for two each, followed by Smith’s bridging northern lights suplex for the pin at 4:03.

Rating: C-. Just a match as Smith clearly didn’t have a future in the company. He was just a guy in trunks who could wrestle well enough and that’s not what this company is all about. Myers was popular but there is only so much you can get out of someone as standard as he was. This probably should have been a dark match but it wasn’t that bad.

Post match Joey again asks if the mic is hot and wants a mic stand.

Bad Breed vs. Pit Bulls

That would be Ian/Axl Rotten and the fight is on before the bell. Pit Bull #2 kicks away at Axl inside but Axl is right back with a clothesline. Ian is sent into the barricade and beaten down with a chair and #2 gets two off a suplex. #1 comes in for a snap suplex on Ian and a flying shoulder puts Ian down again. We actually get a tag to #2 (Was #1 ever legal in the first place?) and it’s right back to #1 for a slingshot shoulder. The SuperBomb finishes Ian at 3:09. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D. This was nothing and felt more like an extended segment than a match. The Pit Bulls were a hard hitting team though I never cared for them all that much. They’re far better than the crazy violent Rottens though and I’ll certainly take a short match rather than the nonsense stuff that they would do most of the time.

Post match Axl makes the save with a chain and the Bad Breed beats the Pit Bulls up.

Mr. Hughes vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

A midcard match on any indy show over a period of about seventeen years! Hughes shoves him away without much effort to start and then does it again to prove his point. Styles talks about how Undertaker found out that he can’t go toe to toe with Hughes and it’s so strange to hear another company discussed like this. I know ECW did it all the time but it’s still weird. The fans call Hughes the Shoe Shine Boy as Scorpio can’t get anywhere off a wristlock.

Hughes busts out a leapfrog of all things and starts stomping away to keep Scorpio in trouble. A big clothesline drops Scorpio again and it’s off to a neck crank. Scorpio grabs the tie for a breather and is promptly thrown into the air for a crash to the mat. Back up and some dropkicks put Hughes on the floor but Scorpio leaves a baseball slide VERY short. The fans catch onto it so Scorpio hits a quick dive to get them back. Hughes hits a side slam back inside and drops an elbow to the face for two. Scorpio is back up with some boots to the face out of the corner. The 450 finishes Hughes at 7:38.

Rating: D+. They told a simple story here and while it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world, you could figure out exactly what they were trying to do. Scorpio is one of my all time favorites though and seeing a 450 in 1994 is insane. They did the comeback in a hurry and Hughes was a monster for Scorpio to slay, so it was a nice enough story. Not well done that is, but nice enough.

Post match Hughes destroys Scorpio and says that’s what happens when you mess with him. Hughes leaves and Scorpio calls him Mr. Shoe Shine Boy and says he just lost. The fight is on again for the second time in a row. Styles: “Can anyone stop Mr. Hughes???” Uh yeah, I think his name is Scorpio.

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Tommy Dreamer vs. Tommy Cairo

Winner gets the name Tommy. Ok not so much but would that stipulation surprise you around here? Cairo is one of the holdovers from the old days of ECW and mocks the recently blinded Sandman (blinded by Dreamer in an accident). Dreamer is fighting for the Sandman and the fight is on with Dreamer going right at him while the music is on. A spinwheel kick puts Dreamer on the floor and Cairo hits another out there.

Dreamer gets in some chair shots and takes him back inside for a rather delayed piledriver. They head outside again with Dreamer being handed a canoe paddle. I’ve seen far weirder things around here. Cairo seems to miss a dive off the barricade as they fight into the crowd. A running wooden pallet shot drops Dreamer, who is right back up with a pallet shot of his own.

They get back inside with Dreamer hitting a neckbreaker and taking off his shirt (egads) for some choking. Cairo is right back up with a standing flapjack (I kind of like that) but stops to mock Sandman again. It’s Singapore cane time but Dreamer takes it away and canes him in the head. The blood starts to flow and Dreamer hits him low (with Joey’s voice going higher). Dreamer licks the blood off of his hand as Cairo is mostly dead, meaning the referee stops it at 8:23.

Rating: C-. This was much more of a wild brawl and that’s where it makes more sense. There is a story behind this one as Dreamer is fighting for Sandman, who had issues with Cairo. It ties into the backstory and that makes the violence mean something. That’s one of the places where ECW missed the point a lot of the time and it caught up to them, but it made sense in a situation like this one.

Post match Dreamer gets in a few more shots and Cairo isn’t moving, meaning it’s another stretcher job. Cairo isn’t being carried out though and walks off.

ECW World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Ron Simmons

Simmons is challenging and says he’s never liked this city, but he’s taking the title. The fans chant something negative about Ric Flair, much to Shane’s delight. Simmons goes straight after him but gets dropkicked down for an early two. Douglas gets chased to the floor and it’s time to hit the stall for a bit. Back in and Simmons headbutts him down in the corner, sending Shane back outside for another breather.

Shane is back in again with a crossbody as we hear about those cowards Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan not answering Shane’s open challenge for an ECW Title shot. The staredown is on outside with Shane hiding behind a photographer. Simmons swings at him (and over her) anyway, followed by a clothesline on the floor. Back in (again) and the powerslam plants Shane, followed by a gutbuster as the slow beating continues. A top rope splash misses so Simmons hits a chokeslam of all things. The fans want 911 but Shane is right back up with a crucifix to retain at 6:46.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than a minor novelty as, just like in Scorpio vs. Hughes, it was mostly one sided until the finish. It’s not a good sign that we’ve had the same match structure twice in about an hour but Heyman wasn’t always the most versatile in-ring booker of all time.

Post match the beatdown is on again with Scorpio running in to help Simmons beat Douglas down (Simmons being known as someone who needs help in fights) and hitting the moonsault. Simmons and Scorpio leave but Cactus Jack, who doesn’t like Shane, of all people comes out to check on him. Shane takes a LONG time getting out of the ring.

Here’s the still blind Sandman, helped to the ring by owner Tod Gordon, for a chat. Styles is choking up at how sad it is for Sandman to be like this. Gordon is sad as well, as a cameraman gets in the ring for a closeup but we stay on the regular shot, meaning we can see the whole cameraman but about half each of the other two (it looks like some bad student film).

Thankfully he leaves and Sandman talks about having to retire at 31, but he’s beaten the daylights out of Tommy Cairo and he’s taken Tommy Dreamer to an inch of his career. He wouldn’t change a thing though, even if he’s lost everything. One of the things he’s lost is his wife, which is all thanks to Nancy Sullivan (Woman). We hear about some of the things he’s done to his wife and Cairo, who stole her, can’t accomplish those same things.

Cue Sandman’s wife Peaches, who doesn’t know if she should slap him or kiss him. She says she’s changed a little since he last saw her, which he thinks means she’s put on weight. A reconciliation seems possible but here’s Nancy to interrupt. She wants to introduce her newest client but canes Peaches in the head first. Sandman punches Gordon by mistake and here’s Dreamer to calls Nancy off.

As Dreamer yells, Sandman takes the bandages off of his eyes and canes Dreamer because he is Nancy’s new client. That should be a heel turn but the fans seem rather pleased. Nancy mocks Dreamer’s recent emotional speeches about Sandman and Joey is aghast. Sandman gets in some whips with his belt as Nancy is having a ball gloating over this. Oh and in case it wasn’t clear: Nancy is managing Sandman. What we got here was good, though I can imagine it having a much stronger impact if I had seen all of the build.

Joey brings out Shane Douglas for a chat. Shane, holding a phone, talks about never feeling anything like what he has felt tonight. His career was unparalleled in ECW but then he saw entertainers in Chicago destroying what he spent fourteen years building. That would be a person named Terry Bollea, who is already on Social Security. Part of his success in ECW is because of blood, sweat and tears, but it was also due to a beautiful woman.

Tonight he fought someone who was the first black heavyweight champion but that means nothing to Shane. Then 2 Cold Scorpio got involved after Shane beat Simmons. Now it’s time to rebuild the Franchise and that’s why he has Sherri on the phone. He wants her back here two weeks from tonight and Sherri says it’ll be great to be with a man again. On top of that, he’s bringing in a partner to deal with Simmons and Scorpio: Stunning Steve Austin. Shane isn’t losing to an ex-WCW Champion.

Dean Malenko vs. Tazmaniac

Dean’s TV Title isn’t on the line and of course that is the future Taz, though he is still kind of a caveman here. He does have TAZ on his singlet though. We get Big Match Intros, including one for Dean’s manager Jason. They fight around the ropes to start with Taz taking him down and hammering away, setting up the first northern lights suplex. Dean is right back up with a release tiger bomb and the Boston crab goes on, with the fans seemingly grunting for Taz.

That’s broken up with some power so Dean stomps away instead. They trade full nelsons until Taz hits a t-bone suplex. Dean comes back with a victory roll for two but an attempt at a second is countered into a German suplex to put them both down. It’s Dean going up (Huh?) and getting crotched, only to elbow his way out of a German superplex attempt. Jason tries to get in a few cheap shots and gets whipped into the barricade for his efforts. The distraction lets Dean grab a towel to cover Taz’s face, which is enough for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it was more of a collection of matches with a finish instead of anything that tied together. Malenko was a good choice for this role and offered a different style, though you could see that they wanted to do something with Taz. Maybe under a better gimmick and after a horrible neck injury.

Taz is out and needs help as there was something on that towel. Medics come out and Joey smells chloroform. Some smelling salts wake Taz up and he wrecks a bunch of stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Public Enemies vs. Cactus Jack/Mikey Whipwreck

Jack and Whipwreck are defending and it’s a weird set of rules where you have to put someone down for ten before you can go for the regular pin. Also after the ten count, you can use baseball bats. That’s quite the complicated rules, though Johnny Grunge grabbing his crotch takes away some of my focus for a few seconds. Mikey is of course scared to death, as tends to be his custom.

Hang on though as we need to have Rocco yell at the crowd a bit, followed by some standing around. There’s no contact for the first two minutes, though they are at least going through with the pretense of a tag match to start. The stalling continues as Public Enemy decides to walk so the referee starts the ten count. They come back so Mikey’s shoulder block can fail, giving us the first action at just shy of four minutes.

Mikey gets sent into a boot in the corner and a middle rope elbow crushes him. Grunge isn’t about to let the referee count so he drops a headbutt and kicks Mikey low. A gordbuster drops Mikey again so it’s Cactus coming in to save him from a bad case of destruction. Cactus whips Mikey into both of them as Mikey continues to be little more than a toy here. Mikey is so beaten up that he collapses for an eight count, leaving Cactus to clothesline both of them down at once.

Rock kicks Cactus low and Grunge crotches him on the barricade for a bonus. That leaves Mikey all alone and it’s a reverse DDT into a Swanton (the Drive By) for nine. As the count goes on, Cactus comes in and cleans house with a chair. A double arm DDT isn’t enough for the ten count so Public Enemy comes up with powder into Cactus’ face. Mikey fights back with forearms to both, including the bloody Grunge.

The blind Cactus DDTs Mikey by mistake though and that’s good for a ten, meaning it’s time for some baseball bats. Mikey gets laid out with the bat but all four walk up the aisle and fight over to some nicely placed tables. Two of them are stacked up on top of each other but Sabu breaks up a flip dive to put Mikey through them. 911 and Heyman come out, with Sabu sending Rock through the tables.

Mikey is back up and uses a chair to beat on the pieces of tables near Rock. Cactus and Grunge are back as well with Cactus suplexing Rock onto a table. The running elbow off the balcony puts Rock through the table and everyone is done. We hear about Mikey diving onto Grunge and let’s head back to the ring for some fun. Grunge sunset flips Mikey for two, followed by a top rope baseball bat shot to the face for the pin and the titles at 15:15.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I thought I would, even if there was nothing involving tagging or wrestling for the most part. The dives and carnage were good enough though and the fans cared about Public Enemy. Mikey and Cactus were a good oddball team and it made both guys look better than I was expecting. Nice enough here, assuming you’re not a traditionalist.

Gordon runs down the card for the next show, including Dreamer vs. Sandman with Cairo as guest referee. Hang on though as Cactus comes in to say how tough Mikey is. He’ll be back in two weeks also, with Kevin Sullivan as his partner to challenge for the titles. Also, Tazmaniac/Sabu vs. Dean Malenko/Joe Malenko. Plus the aforementioned Austin/Douglas vs. Scorpio/Simmons.

Sabu vs. Chris Benoit

This is an infamous one. They go right at each other with Benoit kneeing him in the ribs and dropping him ribs first onto the top rope. Then Benoit lifts him up and drops him down on top of his head, breaking Sabu’s neck (for the first of two times in ECW). Since HE BROKE HIS NECK, the match is stopped at around 1:40. Of note: that is how Benoit got the name the Crippler.

As medics tend to Sabu, here’s 911 to keep Benoit away from him. Benoit says he wants to fight Sabu and never signed to fight 911. We get some major stalling until Benoit jumps 911 from behind but can’t knock him down. A chokeslam plants Benoit for a pin but here’s Public Enemy with the baseball bats to take 911 down. Cactus comes in to go after the two of them as 911 gets back up. A double chokeslam (with all of four inches of lift) plants Public Enemy.

A bunch of people come out for a big brawl (including Taz looking downright bizarre in flannel) with Taz getting a bat to take out just about everyone. Eventually it’s Benoit and Taz in a standoff as 911 gets a beaten down Heyman out of dodge. Joey signs off but Benoit wants a mic. When that doesn’t work, Public Enemy holds up his arms as the mic is fixed. Benoit wants to know what happened to the great Sabu so here’s Scorpio again. If Benoit wants a fight, he’s right here.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Chris Benoit

Public Enemy jumps Scorpio from behind and Benoit gets two off a powerbomb despite the lack of a bell. There’s the snap suplex as Public Enemy is still messing around at ringside. Scorpio gets in a superkick to send Benoit outside, meaning it’s time to beat up Public Enemy again.

There are even more people at ringside now, making this a glorified lumberjack match. Benoit hits a top rope superplex but Scorpio counters a belly to back superplex with a crossbody. Scorpio gets two off a super victory roll and nails a superkick but they fall out to the floor. Benoit throws him into various things and it’s a double countout at about 5:45.

Rating: D+. I can’t get mad at this one as they were making it up on the fly and had nothing planned. It wasn’t terrible or anything as they’re talented enough to make something work, though it went about as well as it realistically could have. This kind of heel Benoit is just weird to see but he did it very well and I could go for more of it.

Post match Scorpio says we should do that again.

Joey signs off again but we’re STILL not done as Cactus says his thoughts are with Sabu. That FINALLY ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is the kind of company that I can see having a cult following, ESPECIALLY in 1994 when wrestling was entering the dark ages. ECW is best known by the masses for the late 90s when wrestling had recovered, but this was a completely different feeling where you could see how effective it could be. It’s certainly not for everyone (including me) but I get the idea here and some parts of the show were really interesting. The hardcore felt more well timed here and it didn’t dominate the night. Not a great show by any means, but you can see the magic that people got swept up in around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 14, 2019
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re out of Philadelphia and hopefully that means we’re on the way towards more of a focus on the good stuff rather than the bad. Part of the company’s issues have been going hot and cold with a mixture of stuff that works for the future and an emphasis on nostalgia. The good has been very strong though and if we get more of that, we’re in for a fun show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

The North vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

Sabu and Van Dam have Super Genie with them. The announcers go into Van Dam’s ECW stories, because he’s done NOTHING since then. Certainly not been Impact World Champion or anything. Thankfully those stories stop so they can mention that this is a #1 contenders match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot at Slammiversary.

Sabu takes Alexander down by the leg to start and it’s off to Van Dam for a suplex. Alexander takes him into the corner and brings in Page, who gets kicked in the face for his efforts. The armdrag into the armbar lets us take a look at Van Dam, who looks very old. There’s the Rolling Thunder/facebuster combination for two on Page and it’s more kicks to Page’s face. A kick to Sabu’s face lets the North start in with some backbreakers and it’s Van Dam in trouble for a change.

The Canadians get him down in the corner for some stomping until Page charges into a kick to the face. That’s enough for the tag to Sabu so Genie throws in a chair, which is pelted at the North a few times. The camel clutch/dropkick to the face combination keeps Alexander down and it’s time for a table. Sabu and Van Dam go up but here’s Moose to shove Van Dam off the top. The Arabian facebuster drives Alexander through the table for no count so Sabu hits a tornado DDT to send Page into the broken table. A Moose distraction lets the North hit a double Neutralizer to finish Sabu at 10:38.

Rating: D+. Well at least the right team won, and it only took interference and the disregard for various usage of weapons. The North isn’t an interesting team and at least they got in a win over a “legendary” team. Oh and Van Dam, the one of the ECW guys with any value, didn’t take the fall so he can put Moose over at Slammiversary as he should.

Post match here’s Tommy Dreamer to send Moose inside but Moose bails from the threat of a Van Terminator.

Post break Moose yells at the North, who call Moose out for bailing on them. Their partnership seems to be done so Moose promises to take out the ECW era. My head hurts again.

Announcers’ preview.

Havok vs. Masha Slamovich

Masha forearms away to start and gets knocked down with a single shot to the chest. Havok bends her over the knee but misses a charge in the corner. A dropkick and right hands don’t get Masha anywhere and it’s a sitout slam to plant Masha. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Marsha at 3:39.

Rating: D. Total and complete squash here, which is exactly what it should have been. Havok is a good monster and can make a suitable opponent for Rosemary at some point. It’s also nice of them to bring up Havok’s history around here without mentioning her getting beaten up by Awesome Kong and ruining her mystique. That’s how you bring a monster back and it’s working here.

Post match James Mitchell tells Rosemary to work on her anger management. He’s tried to be diplomatic with her over Su Yung but now he’s had to go a little more serious, which is why Havok is here. Havok is his Godzilla stomping on Tokyo and now she’s coming for the Knockouts Title. She’ll use Rosemary’s broken carcass as a launchpad. That’s quite the image.

Raj Singh vs. Cody Deaner

Yes this feud needs to continue. Raj knocks him into the corner to start so Cody comes back out with a running clothesline. Cody sends him outside for a suicide dive but gets caught with a hanging cutter on the way back in. Raj’s running dropkick to the back gets two and he slaps away a lot. That wakes Deaner up and the snap jabs put Raj down. A hard DDT plants Raj but Gama Singh gets on the apron for a distraction. Cousin Jake cuts off an interfering Rohit Raju….and Gama has a heart attack. That allows Raj to hit an arm trap faceplant for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: D. I really don’t see the need for three interferences and a fake heart attack for half of the Desi Hit Squad vs. half of the country cousins. This felt completely minor league and like something you would see on a company trying to put on its first show. They’re not exactly cranking out good tag teams at the moment and this didn’t help things.

Michael Elgin is ready to beat up Willie Mack tonight. Johnny Impact comes in and says he’s been talking to the hospital. They haven’t seen Mack, even though Elgin promised to send him there. Elgin says stay out of the main event.

Rosemary thinks Mitchell has a thing for monsters. The Hive has sent her on a mission to get the Knockouts Title back so Havok is just an obstacle in the way.

Partial Slammiversary rundown.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Slammiversary XII.

Sami Callihan comes into the women’s locker room (good thing there was a camera waiting in there) and gets in an argument with Tessa Blanchard. A match against Jake Crist is set for next week.

Jordynne Grace vs. Madison Rayne

Kiera Hogan is out for commentary. They fight over arm control to start and we cut over to Kiera, who is in fact talking. Rayne gets a quick rollup for two and Grace grinds away on a headlock. Grace ducks a charge in the corner and sends Madison to the apron, where she seems to slip off and fall out to the floor. Madison is fine enough and gets suplexed for two back inside. A standing Koji Clutch doesn’t get Rayne very far as Madison takes her down and pulls on the arm instead.

They trade pinfall attempts for two each until Madison hits a basement dropkick for a breather. Madison takes her to the floor for a cutter and they’re both down with Madison holding her back. Back in and Madison’s crucifix bomb gets two, followed by Grace’s spinning Muscle Buster for the same. Grace goes up but a Kiera distraction lets Madison pull her down for CrossRayne and the pin at 10:28.

Rating: C. Match of the night so far, though Kiera isn’t exactly interesting here. Grace feels like a monster and while losing to Rayne isn’t the biggest problem in the world, it’s not the way I would have gone. The good thing here is we currently have three stories going on in the Knockouts division, which is way, way better than just having the champion vs. her challenger of the week. I’m rather impressed by that and while it’s not working as well, they’re trying something similar with the tag division. I can appreciate the effort if nothing else.

Video on Killer Kross breaking Kenny and Eddie Edwards being given a new kendo stick by Sandman.

Killer Kross vs. Sandman

Sandman seems to be taking Eddie’s place and staggers around before hitting some left hands. A kendo stick to the ribs has little effect and the Krossjacket choke ends Sandman at 1:36. As annoying as I find it to have the ECW guys around, I can’t get annoyed at Sandman getting choked out in a minute and a half.

Post match Kross won’t let go so Eddie comes in for the save.

LAX doesn’t think much of the Rascalz but Konnan wants them to take things more seriously. The Rascalz come in and want a rematch but LAX doesn’t like them barging in. The fight is on with LAX getting the better of it (and stomping on a downed camera) and agreeing to the rematch. Someone who looks like Laredo Kid comes in and takes something from the Rascalz.

It’s time for the Smoke Show with Taya Valkyrie and John E. Bravo as guests. Fallah Bahh and Scarlett Bordeaux share a drink but Taya isn’t interested. She also doesn’t like Scarlett talking about Johnny Impact. Scarlett brings up Taya having to defend the title next week and says she knows who the opponent will be. Taya says spit it out, which Scarlett must know how to do. It’s Su Yung so Taya freaks out and leaves.

Here’s the rest of the Slammiversary rundown.

Willie Mack vs. Michael Elgin

Rich Swann is in Mack’s corner. They slug it out to start and trade shoulders with Mack actually getting the better of it off a jumping version. A jumping enziguri sets up an exploder suplex to send Elgin to the apron. Mack joins him for a slugout with Elgin getting the better of it and hitting a superkick to the floor.

Back from a break with Mack hitting a spinwheel kick and dropping a leg for two. A sitout spinebuster gets the same but the Stunner is broken up. Elgin’s superkick drops Mack and a top rope superplex gets two. Mack avoids a charge into the corner and gets caught with a slingshot Fameasser to send him outside. Instead of going back in, Elgin drops Swann onto the apron. Back in and a buckle bomb sets up the Elgin Bomb for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was another good match between any combination of these three and Impact, which makes for some nice main events. Elgin is a great monster and someone can slay him, though I’m not sure if it’s going to be Cage at Slammiversary. That makes for an interesting match and I’m curious to see how it goes.

Post match Elgin goes after him again but Swann makes the save. Johnny Impact runs in to take Swann down but Elgin suplexes Impact. He even puts on the sunglasses to really rub it in. Another powerbomb into the post leaves Impact laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen such an up and down show as this one. The tag division (outside of the title picture) is a mess, the Knockouts division is rather interesting, the main event is good stuff and the ECW guys are just there. If they can get this stuff together and do more of the right stuff instead of the wrong, they’ll have a hit on their hands. And if they can get Pursuit to not screw things up, it can be even better.

Results

The North b. Rob Van Dam/Sabu – Double Neutralizer to Sabu

Jessika Havok b. Masha Slamovich – Tombstone

Raj Singh b. Cody Deaner – Arm trap faceplant

Madison Rayne b. Jordynne Grace – Cross Rayne

Killer Kross b. Sandman – Krossjacket choke

Michael Elgin b. Willie Mack – Elgin Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2019
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

We’re going back in time again tonight with the further adventures of the ECW stars in modern times, plus what should be the destruction of Glenn Gilbertti at the hands of Tessa Blanchard. Last week’s show wasn’t the kindest thing in the world so hopefully this one is a lot better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Moose/The North vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu

Maybe we can just get it out of the way early on. Dreamer and Page start things off with Dreamer getting in an armbar before handing it off to Sabu. Alexander comes in as well and the fans declare this awesome less than a minute in. Sabu’s legbar doesn’t work so he sends Alexander into the corner for a YOU STILL GOT IT chant. So apparently the fans here have no idea what IT is.

Moose and Van Dam come in for the pose/chant off before Van Dam kicks him in the face. The combination of Rolling Thunder/slingshot legdrop get two on Moose and it’s back to Dreamer, who gets kicked low. Back from a break with Moose trying his own Rolling Thunder but getting a chair pelted at his face instead. That’s enough for the warm tag to Van Dam, who hits the split legged moonsault for two on Alexander.

Everything breaks down and Sabu hits Air Sabu on Alexander. Sabu’s manager Super Genie hits his own, followed by another dive to the floor to drop the North. Moose hits No Jackhammer Needed on Dreamer but walks into the Van Daminator, leaving Sabu to bring in the table. An Arabian facebuster through the table, with the referee casually watching, sets up the Five Star to finish Page at 10:09.

Rating: D+. It’s not the worst match in the world or even close to it, but there are so many problems with this. The biggest thing is that, again, they’re catering to the live audience instead of the masses. What if you weren’t around for ECW’s heyday? Unless you’re at least thirty years old, odds are you weren’t a fan of the original ECW. Or what if you just didn’t like it? Yeah the fans in the arena are going to cheer, but outsiders see a bunch of old guys (with Dreamer being the youngest at 48) having a not very good match while the fans chant for another company. They didn’t have anything else to put in these spots?

Brian Cage is still banged up but he’s been cleared to train. He’ll meet Michael Elgin at Slammiversary.

Moose is tired of these people messing up so he’ll do things himself.

Glenn Gilbertti vs. Tessa Blanchard

Gilbertti drops to the floor and says that Tessa is one of the best female wrestlers in the world, though that doesn’t count very much. The road to superstardom is paved with potholes and you know how women drivers are. It’s clear that Tessa has daddy issues so tonight, Gilbertti will be her daddy. Tessa hits a bunch of forearms and a big forearm finishes Gilbertti at 2:59. Exactly how it should have gone, but it still feels like the most random detour for Tessa, who just got done with a huge feud against Gail Kim.

The Rascalz invade LAX’s clubhouse with the smoke and set up a match for later. Trey drinks a lot.

Rich Swann and Willie Mack are ready to get revenge on Michael Elgin and Johnny Impact tonight.

Desi Hit Squad vs. Deaners

For the love of all things good and holy make it short. Cody works on Raju’s arm to start but Raj pulls Raju to the floor for a breather. The big dives take them down though and we seem to be in near squash territory. Raj trips Cody and the Squad takes over with a dropkick to the back getting two.

That doesn’t last long though as it’s back to Jake as everything breaks down. The Squad hits a faceplant/top rope double stomp combination for two on Cody with Jake making the save. Jake posts himself though and Cody gets shoved off the top. Cody is fine enough to send them into each other though and a rollup finishes Raj at 6:05.

Rating: D+. Again, not that bad of a match but it felt like filler. Are we really supposed to believe that the Desi Hit Squad or the Deaners are going to move up towards the Tag Team Title picture? LAX and the Lucha Bros just had a blood feud for the titles that headlined a pay per view. I’m not buying the redneck cousins as being a serious threat.

Killer Kross is ready to hurt Eddie Edwards tonight. Kenny has been broken and Eddie will be next.

Elgin is ready to take the World Title at Slammiversary. Johnny Impact comes in to say he’s taking the X-Division Title at Slammiversary, so he’s ready to hurt people tonight. That’s cool with Elgin. Johnny plugs the upcoming special including the Great Muta, which is also cool with Elgin.

Killer Kross vs. Eddie Edwards

Hardcore. Kross is wearing a flack jacket but Eddie dives onto him anyway to start fast. A belly to back suplex drops Kross on the apron and it’s time for the weapons. That takes too long though and Kross takes over by sending him into the barricade. A trashcan shot and a suplex on the floor make it even worse for Eddie and they get inside for the first time. Eddie gets in a Blue Thunder Bomb onto a trashcan but Kross won’t stay down.

Some trashcan lid shots to the head get one and it’s time to bring in a small ladder. The Krossjacket Choke has Eddie in trouble so he hits a few metal sign shots to the head to escape. Kross kicks him in the head though, allowing him to load up some chairs. A chokebomb through the ladder on the chairs breaks Eddie in half but there’s no cover.

Instead more chairs are brought in but Eddie manages a sunset bomb onto all of them for two. Two more chairs are set up and Eddie loads up a tiger driver. That’s countered with a backdrop, which was supposed to be a belly to back piledriver but didn’t really come close. Kross loads up some lead lined gloves but here’s Sandman with a kendo stick to Kross, allowing Eddie to hit the Boston Knee Party for the pin at 13:51.

Rating: C. Eddie is one of the better performers Impact has ever had, winning everything there is to win around here, including the World Title. But what he really needed was Sandman’s endorsement. Yeah that guy who only ever succeeded in ECW? That’s the ticket for Eddie. I thought Sandman was cool back in the day and he certainly had his place, but come on with the ECW stuff already.

Post match Sandman gives Eddie Kenny II and beers are consumed. And yes, the fans are chanting for ECW instead of Eddie or Impact. That seems to be the plan all along.

Rosemary has the still chained up Su Yung when James Mitchell comes in. He recaps their entire feud, including Allie’s involvement and death. Mitchell wants Su back and blames Rosemary for Allie’s death. Rosemary chokes Jim and says she’s keeping Yung.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Chris Sabin/Kazarian/Christopher Daniels vs. Sanada/Great Muta/Yasu from Lockdown 2014.

OVE isn’t happy with Scarlett Bordeaux and Fallah Bahh. Next week, the Crists will take care of them.

Michael Elgin/Johnny Impact vs. Willie Mack/Rich Swann

Johnny Bravo is in Elgin/Impact’s corner. Mack and Swann hit the stereo flip dives to start us off in a hurry, which is probably their best idea. We take a break thirty seconds in (erg) and come back with Impact in trouble in the corner thanks to the reverse Cannonball from Mack. Johnny slides between his legs though and scores with an enziguri before handing it off to Elgin. Mack elbows his way out of trouble and manages to drag Elgin over to the corner for the tag off to Swann.

A powerbomb attempt is countered with a hurricanrana and Elgin almost punches Impact. Swann sends them into each other and rolls Elgin up for two. Elgin drives Mack into Swann for a crotching though and it’s a Death Valley Driver for two on Mack. Back from another break with Swann still in control until he ducks the Flying Chuck to the face. The hot tag brings in Mack for some rolling Wastelands to Impact but Elgin tags himself back in.

That means a slingshot elbow to Swann’s face and a big running flip dive to take out Mack and Impact. Johnny isn’t happy so Swann adds his own running flip dive dive onto all three. Back in and Elgin hits a heck of a superkick on Swann with Impact adding a knee to the head for two. The Moonlight Drive gets two and Elgin breaks up the handspring elbow to make things even worse.

Mack comes in for the Samoan drop and standing moonsault for no count as he isn’t legal. A Rock Bottom/neckbreaker combination gets two on Impact, who is fine enough for a middle rope Spanish Fly on Mack. Swann kicks Impact in the head and everyone is down. Elgin and Impact hit stereo superkicks but Impact hits Elgin by mistake, sending Elgin up the ramp. Swann kicks Impact in the face and hits the 450 for the pin at 22:58.

Rating: B+. This was a blast and I was actually surprised by the finish here. I was thinking they would go with the monster heels winning in the end but they kept both teams in there until I wasn’t sure who was winning in the end. Swann and Mack have something and I could see both of them going a lot higher up the card. Very good main event here after a very good Elgin vs. Swann match from a few weeks ago.

Overall Rating: C. It’s kind of amazing how this show can go from feeling like a bad indy promotion to having an awesome main event in the span of two hours. If nothing else, the main event shows what this company is capable of doing while they go with whatever else for the sake of either the easy way out or popping the audience in the arena. This company is capable of better and they showed that in the main event. Do more of that and less of the 50 year old crowd.

Results

Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu b. Moose/The North – Five Star Frog Splash to Page

Tessa Blanchard b. Glenn Gilbertti – Forearm

Deaners b. Desi Hit Squad – Rollup to Singh

Eddie Edwards b. Killer Kross – Boston Knee Party

Rich Swann/Willie Mack b. Michael Elgin/Johnny Impact – 450 to Impact

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

United We Stand
Date: April 4, 2019
Location: Rahway Recreation Center, Rahway, New Jersey
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

It’s nice that Impact has finally realized that they should be running a show over Wrestlemania weekend. How that eluded them for so long isn’t clear but I think we can go with general reasons of “It’s Impact.” The main event here is Rob Van Dam(recently signed)/Sabu vs. the Lucha Bros in a match that isn’t likely to be as epic as the company expects. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Rob Van Dam showed up!

The opening video talks about how five companies (Impact, AAA, MLW, WrestlePro, MLW, Lucha Underground) are coming together for one show that shows what can happen when you unite.

Johnny Impact vs. Jake Crist vs. Dante Fox vs. Jack Evans vs. Pat Buck

Ultimate X (four structures with cables crossing over the ring and an X hanging in the middle) and the winner gets a future X-Division Title shot. Everyone goes to the floor to start with Johnny being smart enough to go straight for the X. Buck makes a save and handstands his way out of an RKO attempt, because Impact is known for his RKO’s. Austin comes back in and kicks Fox to the floor but gets pulled outside by Crist.

The camera misses a Crist dive and it’s Buck cutting Austin off and hiptossing him to the floor. Nearly everyone goes for a climb and the audio starts cutting in and out. Never change Impact. Fox pulls Impact off and Crist hits a superplex on Impact for a bonus. Buck gets pulled off and it’s a massive knockdown. Buck is up first but can’t get very far as the audio goes out again.

A Tower of Doom brings everyone down and Impact hits a spinning Razor’s Edge slam. Fox goes with a Coast to Coast instead of going up for the X and then hits an imploding moonsault. Austin one ups him with a dive OFF THE TOP OF THE STRUCTURE onto everyone for the huge knockdown. Back in and Buck spears Crist off the cables and Impact hits a Spanish Fly on Fox. Austin climbs up and hangs upside down, leaving Crist to hit a diving cutter. Impact uses the knockdown to pull down the X for the win at 13:01.

Rating: C+. It’s a bunch of people doing a bunch of dives and flips off a bunch of high structures. What else can you really expect here? Well perhaps not having the World Champion getting a title shot against the midcard champion? Impact vs. Swann should be a good match, though there might be better choices to pick from.

Moose yells at Eddie Edwards in the back and the audio is so bad that you can’t make out a word. Cage comes in and tells them to get on the same page. I’m sure you can figure out the story, but you should be able to hear the story as well.

Video on last year’s Impact vs. Lucha Underground show with varying levels of audio.

Team Impact vs. Team Lucha Underground

Impact: Brian Cage, Moose, Eddie Edwards

Lucha Underground: Drago, Daga, Marty the Moth Martinez, Aerostar

Impact is down 4-3 to start but there’s a replacement for….someone Impact isn’t exactly making clear. You know who the replacement is going to be. Who else could it be? OF COURSE IT’S TOMMY DREAMER BECAUSE IT’S ALWAYS TOMMY DREAMER!!! Eddie and Aerostar start things off with Aerostar snapping off a hurricanrana and Eddie rolling around into a standoff.

Marty and Tommy come in and it’s Martinez going to the ample gut. Drago comes in and snaps off most of a headscissors to Dreamer so it’s Cage coming in for a change of pace. Daga’s running headscissors just annoys Cage, who is right back with a backbreaker to take over. Moose and Cage get in an argument though and Daga takes over with some shots to Moose’s knees.

Cage comes back in to clear out most of the luchadors until Daga and Drago combine to kick him in the face. Everyone gets set outside for the dives and it’s Dreamer teasing a dive before going outside for more punching. He doesn’t dive because he’s old and fat you see. Dreamer spits water at them and we settle back down to Aerostar getting two off a cutter to Eddie.

Drago and Daga start taking turns on Eddie until he dropkicks Daga in the face. The tag brings Cage in and the power goes up in a hurry. Everything breaks down (you knew that was coming) and we go to the parade of secondary finishers. Cage loads up Daga for the F5 but Moose spears his partner, leaving Dreamer to cane Moose in the head. Marty’s double arm DDT finishes Dreamer at 10:22.

Rating: C-. Much like the opener, what are you expecting here? This was a bunch of people in one match, getting in as much stuff as they could at once. Dreamer taking the fall was a relief, but more than that I’m rather sad to see Lucha Underground being such an afterthought. The show is done and it’s sad that they’re trying to throw themselves out here like this with nothing to go on to next. At least they won though. That’s something right?

Taya Valkyrie is in a four way tonight but just like Johnny Impact, she’ll overcome the odds and win.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Katie Forbes vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Forbes dances and gyrates a lot with very big hair. Everyone goes after Rosemary, which is kind of a weird choice when Grace is right there. We go to the early exchange of rollups that have no chance of working and no one buys them as real near falls. Taya kicks at Katie in the corner and hits a running hip attack. Rosemary comes back in and shouts Taya down but Grace sends Rosemary shoulder first into the post.

A Vader Bomb gets two and a spinning Samoan drop plants Rosemary again. Forbes comes in with a bicycle kick for two on Grace but a collision puts all four down. Rosemary does her upside down triangle choke on Grace until Katie breaks it up. Grace’s missile dropkicks takes down Katie and Taya and it’s Grace slamming everyone in sight. Rosemary spears Taya but here’s Su Yung to draw Rosemary up the ramp. Forbes manages to fireman’s carry Grace for some squats but gets reversed into the Grace Driver. Not that it matters as Taya runs over and steals the pin to retain at 9:00.

Rating: D. They really missed here as there was no flow or structure to the match with a bunch of spots coming one after another. Taya stealing the win isn’t surprising as this isn’t going to be the kind of show where anything significant is going to happen. Not a good match and it really didn’t work, mainly due to trying to do too much.

Tessa Blanchard isn’t interested in what is between Joey Ryan’s legs.

Konnan is tired of disrespect from Low Ki and Ricky Martinez.

Low Ki/Ricky Martinez vs. LAX

It’s interesting how much less I care about Low Ki and Martinez without Salina de la Renta. Konnan is here with LAX though. Low Ki is back in the Hitman attire, which still doesn’t work. Ortiz and Martinez start things off and there’s no contact in the first minute. Make that two minutes and it’s off to Low Ki before anything happens. Santana and Low Ki finally lock up…and do it again…and a third time as they’re not exactly cranking up the work here. Ki puts on an armbreaker over the ropes to get in the first significant offense but everything breaks down for a standoff.

Martinez kicks Ortiz in the head at the five minute mark but a northern lights suplex gives Ortiz two. An assisted sitout flapjack plants Martinez for two but it’s Ki coming in off a blind tag to take over. Martinez comes back in for the Madison Rayne face thrusts into the mat and it’s Ki cranking on the neck. Santana finally avoids a charge and it’s off to Ortiz as the pace picks up.

A middle rope dropkick sends Ki down as the camera keeps cutting so much that it’s hard to get a clear shot of some of these moves. Martinez gets caught in the corner for a superkick into a Tower of London but Ki dives off the top for the save. Ortiz gets caught in an electric chair with Ki adding a Disaster Kick for a near fall of their own. Santana posts Ki though and a Death Valley Driver finishes Martinez at 12:38.

Rating: C-. Ki and Martinez weren’t exactly on fire here and as great as LAX are, they can only do so much. It’s not like the match is terrible or anything close to it, but it’s also not something I ever got into. The lack of Salina really does lower the interest levels in Martinez and Ki, but it could have been a lot worse.

Sami Callihan is ready to show Jimmy Havoc what Ohio violence is all about.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Joey Ryan

Before the match, Joey does his lollipop and baby oil deals. Joey offers to let Tessa touch it but she flips him off instead. A waistlock doesn’t get Tessa anywhere as Joey tries to make her touch it. Hang on though as Joey shouts something….and I can barely hear it. Whatever Joey asked, he gets tossed across the ring by the chest hair instead. Magnum gives Tessa two but Joey sends her outside for a posting. The arm is banged up and Joey makes it worse by bending it around the barricade. Back in and the arm work continues as Ryan can do a standard enough match if he’s willing to try.

Tessa comes back with a hurricanrana to send him outside, setting up a suicide dive. Back in and Tessa gets two off a Cannonball but he’s right back with an arm trap suplex. The Fujiwara armbar goes on but Tessa is back up with a springboard tornado DDT. A German suplex, meaning Joey grabs her by the chest for a suplex, followed by Tessa grabbing his crotch for the flip, gets two. The lollipop from the trunks goes into Tessa’s mouth for the near fall out of the superkick but Tessa breaks up a superplex. Magnum finishes Ryan at 10:48.

Rating: D-. Nope. I don’t find it funny and it’s so out of place three days before a women’s match is going to main event Wrestlemania. Tessa winning is the only call they could make but Joey’s act is old and played out. He’s been doing that same stuff for a long time now and I roll my eyes every time I hear about it because I don’t find it entertaining. It didn’t fit here but he got it in anyway because….well what else was he going to do?

X-Division Title: Rich Swann vs. Flamita

Swann is defending and we get a handshake. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t work so Swann knocks him outside for the big flip dive. Back in and Swann’s stepover kick to the back of the head gets two and it’s time for the slow form stomping. Swann chops away in the corner but misses a charge and takes the 619 in the corner.

A missile dropkick sends Swann outside and it’s a Backstabber for two on the champ back inside. More kicks to Flamita’s head set up a missed Phoenix splash and Flamita grabs the Spanish Fly. A 450 gets two and Flamita is frustrated. He hammers away at the champ until a Lethal Injection cuts him off. Now the Phoenix splash retains the title at 7:46.

Rating: C. Quick yet entertaining match here and that’s about all you could have asked them to do. Both guys can do so much more but what else can you do given less than eight minutes? Swann has become one of the better talents around and you don’t really ever see him have bad matches. That’s a pretty good role to play and he does it very well.

Rob Van Dam and Sabu say (yes Sabu talks) that they’re Rob Van Dam and Sabu.

Jimmy Havoc vs. Sami Callihan

Monster’s Ball, meaning a street fight. They both bring weapons to the ring but Sami goes back to get some extras. You wouldn’t want to be unprepared. Jimmy pokes him in the eyes to start and it’s already time for a staple gun to Sami’s chest. Another staple to the crotch has Sami in trouble until he gets in a bell shot to the face. More weapons are thrown in and Jimmy is already bleeding.

The spit chop only hits the post but Sami’s hand is fine enough to run into….I have no idea actually as the camera missed it. Havoc stops for some water so Sami chairs him in the face and it’s time for a fight on the apron. Sami gets out of a piledriver and hits one of his own on the apron to really take over. Well as much as you’re going to take over in a hardcore match. Sami staples his way out of a sunset flip and then staples pieces of newspaper to different parts of Havoc.

Some frying pan shots to the head let Sami take a bow and we bust out the lemon juice into the open wound. Havoc gets caught in a trashcan and beaten with a chair but fights back anyway and manages to get the better of it. A paper cut to the mouth has Sami in trouble and it’s time to take off Sami’s shoes. That means another paper cut to the toes with actual salt being poured into the wound. A Death Valley Driver into the trashcan gets two and it’s time for the Legos. The Cactus Piledriver onto the Legos gives Sami one but another one onto some open chairs finishes Havoc at 13:51.

Rating: C-. Picture any hardcore match you’ve seen in recent years, though minute the barbed wire. I can only get so much into these things because there just isn’t much to the things. Both guys are best known for their violent stuff and when you see it so often, it kind of loses whatever impact it can have. As has been the case all night: it could have been worse, but it’s nothing that got my attention.

The announcers recap the show so far.

Rob Van Dam/Sabu vs. Lucha Bros

Non title and it’s anything goes. We start with CERO MIEDO vs. ROB VAN DAM so the fans deem it awesome before any contact is made. Sabu finally starts punching and we’re at a standoff after two minutes. They head outside and it makes a lot more sense to go with the brawling instead of making the mistake of trying to have a match. Sabu stumbles through the Arabian press and Rob hits the spinning legdrop for two.

Pentagon kicks them both down and Sabu gets kicked a second time to make it even worse. The wheelbarrow splash gets two on Rob and it’s already time for a table. Sabu gets in a DDT on Pentagon and the Bros are put on the table for the Five Star/top rope legdrop as they try to turn back the clock again. Fenix chairs Rob to the floor and it’s a double superkick into the spike Fear Factor for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting here? Van Dam and Sabu are both up there in years (Sabu is the older of the two at 54) and you’re not going to get much else out of them. Their one big spot looked good enough but this was all about the Lucha Bros doing what they could to cover up the rest of the match. It was fine for a nice little nostalgia moment, and thankfully that’s really all it’s going to be.

The lights go out as they shake hands and pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. Between the production issues (audio cutting out earlier in the night, theme music being so loud you could barely hear commentary and the music cutting off instead of fading out), the lack of anything significant happening, most of the matches not being very good and the incredibly dim lighting that made it look like they were in the dark most of the night, it came off like a pretty amateurish show, which isn’t a good sign for a promotion as big (and old) as Impact. Not a disaster, but more pedestrian stuff that isn’t going to draw anyone back in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: Dhttp://kbwrestlingreviews.com/wp-admin/post-new.php

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s another of those surveys that WWE sends out to gauge interest in potential DVD projects. These can offer some compelling ideas so let’s take a look at what might be on WWE’s schedule.

ECW’s Top 50 Craziest Moments

Yeah sure. As you probably know, ECW isn’t my thing and they certainly had some insane moments, but I’m really over hearing about how great they were. There’s definitely a market for it, but as a full on DVD? I’m not sure, but like I said, I’m not the target demographic.

Dudley Boyz Bio

I’d watch it. The Dudleys are one of the most successful tag teams of all time and giving them a full on three hour documentary and a quality match selection would definitely be worth the time. Just limit the Hardys/Edge and Christian matches to like two each. There are other teams out there.

The Best of 1996: 20 Years Later

This could be interesting as it’s not quite the Attitude Era and there really is some great stuff in there. However, I’ll turn it off (ok now I won’t) if it turns into another “the NWO was awesome but we were going to have DX and we were never worried about it” show. Focus on something new instead.

Wrestlemania III

Sold. The behind the scenes stuff is always interesting and it’s the biggest show of all time, meaning there have to be a ton of stories. Hearing WWE talking about the attendance question could be interesting. In case you’re wondering, I say it’s 93,173 for a few reasons.

1. The 80,000 limit or whatever you hear IS FOR FOOTBALL. A football field is 360 feet by about 160 feet. A WWF ring was at most 20ft by 20ft. Why this is never brought up isn’t clear.

2. It’s the official number. Just like the official line is that Undertaker and Kane are brothers, that Hulk Hogan is 6’8 and that Andre was 525lbs. Wrestling lies. Why this is supposed to be different isn’t clear either.

3. What difference does it make? It’s a lot of people.

Rivalries: Taz vs. Sabu

Again, this would be fine and hasn’t been touched on enough, but it’s not for me.

New Generation

Haven’t there been enough Bret and Shawn DVDs already?

True Story of the Royal Rumble

Yep. I don’t think this really needs any more explanation.

Rivalries: Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon

We did a 20 part documentary on the Network about this already and I really, really do not need to hear about it ever again. The interviews could be entertaining but I’m totally over this entire subject. It was almost 20 years ago and it’s over. Let it die already.

Hardcore

This would be a look back at the Hardcore Title years. This could be incredibly entertaining if they kept it short and went completely over the top serious with it. Get Foley and Road Dogg to do commentary and break down the psychology behind hitting someone with a cookie sheet or just rip on Al Snow for a full match. That could be hysterical.

Countdown

As in a collection of the Network series. I think you can figure this one out for yourself. Bring this series back to as it’s a very easy way to kill an hour.

Unreleased Match Compilation

The names listed are Michaels, Austin, Undertaker and Rock. I’d be all over those four as there are some really fun matches in there, as long as it’s not just a bunch of PPV matches that I’ve seen a bunch of times before.

Rivalries

Again, it’s a Network series.

Podcasts

On DVD? Why?

Wrestlemania Rewind

You might be noticing a pattern here. However, why haven’t we gotten Summerslam/Royal Rumble/Survivor Series Rewind? There’s a ton of stuff in there for different series.

Shane McMahon

This would be short and entertaining, but at the same time it would get repetitive since most of the matches are street fight style.

Best of NXT

Oh yeah. There’s a ton of great stuff in the old days of NXT (the Full Sail years that is) that people have forgotten about. However, it might be better to put that kind of thing in a different for. Like an e-book. In July.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Today is the clueless putz himself Steven Richards.

Richards started in ECW in 1992, even having the first match at the ECW Arena. We’ll pick things up in the same promotion (well the same letters at least) on February 4, 1995 at Double Tables.

Stevie Richards vs. Tommy Dreamer

Richards is Raven’s main lackey and helping in the war with Dreamer. They shove each other up against the ropes to start with Richards cowering like you would expect him to. To the floor now with Richards nailing him in the face and taking Dreamer’s shirt. Back in and Dreamer hammers away before planting Richards with a swinging neckbreaker.

Richards is tossed back to the floor and whipped into the barricade as this is getting violent. Back inside with a low blow to Stevie with a frying pan but Stevie pops back up with a backdrop. The DDT catches Richards out of nowhere but Raven grabs Dreamer. Stevie gets back up for a superkick and Tommy is in trouble. Another superkick is blocked with a low blow and Dreamer grabs the rollup pin.

Rating: D. Richards wasn’t much to see in the ring and that was very apparent here. The match wasn’t any good and was just there for Raven to interfere. The perk of a feud like Dreamer and Raven is they could have a bunch of matches with other guys to keep their big showdowns fresh.

We’re going to look at what is considered ECW’s best match by a variety of reviewers. This is from Gangstas’ Paradise and it’s double dog collar, 2/3 falls.

Tag Team Titles: Pitbulls vs. Raven/Stevie Richards

The Pitbulls are challenging and they’re done if they lose. There’s no Richards in sight to start so Raven looks to be going it alone. Beaulah says Richards broke his arm last night so we should make this 2/3 falls. The Pitbulls agree and Raven ties himself up to #2. The brawl is on and #2 starts choking Raven over the ropes as #1 runs to the back. A chair to the head has Raven in even more trouble as #1 drags Richards (with both arms looking fine) out with the collar attaching them.

Richards gets beaten up with a chair as Raven piledrives #2 through the table for a fast pin. The second fall begins with #1 taking a double DDT for two as #2 makes the save. Another table is brought in as #1 beats on Richards even more. With Raven down, a Super Bomb through the table is enough to tie things up as we get down to the real stuff with the third fall.

We take a quick break to look at both falls and come back to see Richards a bloody mess. #1 takes Richards into the crowd where Richards nails him with a chair. Raven and #2 fight in the aisle until #2 sends in another table. The referee goes down (like it matters) and here are the Dudleys (Dances With Dudley and Dudley Dudley) to beat up the Pitbulls. The champions hit Super Bombs but the Pitbulls pop right back up. A double DDT takes down all four villains and both Dudleys take Super Bombs of their own.

We get another table brought in but #2 leaves a Super Bomb on Raven short, driving the back of his head into the edge of the table. The referee wakes up and counts a VERY slow two so Raven busts out some ether to knock out #2 (Joey: “TAKE THAT CRAP TO SMOKY MOUNTAIN!” Yes it was a jab at Cornette’s booking.).

Raven sends #2 through two tables but is too spent to follow up. #2 is taken to the back as Richards gets crotched on the top and suplexed through a table. An unhooked Raven comes in for the save as Francine comes in to go after Richards and gets in a catfight with Beaulah, only to have Raven DDT her down. This brings out Dreamer to chain himself to Raven and lay him out with a DDT….and the pin?

We’re still not done yet though as heel referee Bill Alfonso (heel because he follows the rules) comes out to reverse the decision. Since Dreamer wasn’t in the match, the pin doesn’t count so he still hasn’t officially beaten Raven and the match continues. This brings out Commissioner Tod Gordon to yell at Alfonso but Bill nails him in the face.

Big Dick Dudley is here to chokeslam Dreamer, which Alfonso has to unban as Alfonso had made it illegal to protect himself from the chokeslamming machine 911 who had been wanting to chokeslam Alfonso for months. This immediately brings out 911 to plant Alfonso with a chokeslam for a standing ovation. The Pitbulls get back in to Super Bomb Raven for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. It’s a good brawl, but the impressive part is all the intricate booking coming together to make the whole thing work. They were juggling about five stories at once here and everything was hitting to perfection. It’s not a masterpiece due to the match itself being nothing great, but the storytelling was really good.

Here’s a quick match at November to Remember 1995.

El Puerto Ricano vs. Stevie Richards

Richards is a goofy putz (Joey’s words) here and is Raven’s (top heel here) lackey. Richards gets a gift from the unnamed Blue Meanie who comes over the guardrail with a shirt that says Blue Meanie. The gift is a Flock of Seagulls half shirt. The non Clueless Putz (never did anything of note) jumps Richards and we’re off.

Ricano hits a missile dropkick and dives on Meanie to take care of him. He goes up too many times though and Richards slams him down to take over. Flock of Seagulls dude hits a powerbomb and the other guy (you type Ricano over and over again) is in trouble. He gets draped over the top and takes another Stevie Bomb. Blue Meanie comes in and misses a moonsault. Richards hits a superkick to end this. More or less just a squash.

We’ll jump ahead to House Party 1996 for a match with a hardcore legend.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Richards slips getting into the ring and falls on his face. He also has a bad arm coming into this. Richards runs to start and throws in a chair. Yeah, throw a chair to Sabu. Joey agrees with me, saying that it’s like handing a chainsaw to Leatherface. Sabu has enough of the standing around so he hits a suicide dive to take over. Back inside and Sabu hooks a chinlock but Stevie powerbombs him out of the corner to take over.

Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.

Sabu gets caught in an electric chair position but he rolls Richards over the top and out to the floor. This show needs to hurry up and end because it’s REALLY dragging badly now. Richards head fakes Sabu and the crazy one goes through the table. That would be the crazy one Sabu in case you were confused. Meanie gets in a kick on Sabu and they head inside again. Stevie drops a top rope punch for two as we see that he’s not the best on offense.

A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.

Paul E of all people comes out to beat up Meanie and Sabu hits a dive through Richards through the table. Back inside and that only gets two as this match just keeps going. Richards rolls him up for two and hits the Stevie Kick for another two. A Sabu DDT gets the same and it’s chair time again. Sabu goes up and hits the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flip leg drop with the chair) to get a pretty anti-climactic pin.

Rating: C-. This just kept going and going and it was only decent to begin with. Sabu would be pushed much harder over the next few months as he would feud with Taz while Richards would somehow get into the world title #1 contenders match at Barely Legal. This wasn’t awful but it dragged a lot which really hurt it.

Another match with another hardcore guy from Cyberslam 1997.

Balls Mahoney vs. Stevie Richards

Mahoney likes leather it seems. Uh…yeah. Use your imagination here people. It’s BWO Stevie here. A little trivia here is that Rob Feinstein, as in the RF in RF Video and a former owner of ROH is playing the Syxx (X-Pac) parody of 7-11 here. Balls has short hair here. He must trim them. The fans aren’t sure who they like here but it seems to be Stevie. I think the BWO is face here but it’s kind of hard to tell in the ECW Arena.

Stevie uses speed to take over, likely just offering Balls some to get him down. Off to an armbar now as the arena flashes his chest to the fans. Oh dear. Fujiwara Armbar now by Stevie (named after Mr. Fuji if you’ve been curious as to that for some odd reason). Balls pounds away for a bit and then it’s right back to Stevie’s armbar. Ten punches in the corner and then Stevie climbs the ropes backwards and rubs his tiguts in Balls’ face. So he wants Balls around his….never mind.

Another clothesline by Balls gets two. Balls has next to no offense outside of clotheslines and punches. He tries a spinwheel kick with Richards on the apron and yet he hits the floor before Richards. As in like 5 seconds before Richards. Stevie chills on the floor for a minute or so until Balls drags him back in. Middle rope elbow has Stevie in trouble.

This is boring if you couldn’t tell as we’re at about 8:30 so far. Yes, these two get eight and a half minutes. Balls gets a modified atomic drop (more like an elevated punch to the balls, thereby making Stevie’s voice elevated) and makes fun of the BWO. Top rope leg drop misses and it’s a Stunner by Stevie to give him control for all of half a second. Powerbomb and a superkick miss so Stevie kicks him in the balls and then the chin to end this.

Rating: D-. See, this is where the problems came from for ECW. In short, the matches aren’t that good. The characters are ok and the stories are more developed, but at the end of the day the wrestling just wasn’t there for the most part. They had some good talent, but a lot of the time it was a guy that punched a lot and had a finisher and that’s about it. They knew no basic stuff and it was glaringly obvious at times. Also, this getting nearly 13 minutes is a bit much.

Richards would start up the BWO and jump up the card, somehow getting into a #1 contenders match at Barely Legal.

Stevie Richards vs. Sandman vs. Terry Funk

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets Raven later in the night for the World Title. Richards is the leader of the BWO but he’s starting to be taken a bit more seriously as a main event guy. He used to be Raven’s lackey but has now struck out on his own. Sandman, known for drinking and smoking on the way to the ring, busts himself open with a beer can on the way to the ring. He and Raven have a long history as well so he would make sense as a challenger too. Funk is the grizzled veteran looking for one more hurrah and is taking Dreamer’s place tonight as Dreamer wanted his mentor to get the title.

Sandman downs another beer and spits it in Stevie’s face while still holding his Singapore cane. All three guys circle each other until Terry and Richards lock up. Sandman breaks it up and chops Stevie in the corner, only to get in a fight with Funk. An early spinning toehold is broken up by Richards and Terry takes a bunch of elbow drops from both guys. Sandman and Richards get into it so Terry hits four straight neckbreakers on Stevie for two.

With no real provocation, Sandman throws in a ladder which blasts Funk in the back of the head. He suplexes the ladder down onto Richards and hits Terry in the head again for two. Terry and Sandman climb the ladder in the corner but Funk moonsaults down onto a standing Stevie instead. Still on the ropes, Sandman picks up the ladder and drops it down onto Richards’ back for two.

Stevie superkicks the ladder into Sandman’s face for two before both of them climb the ladder for no apparent reason. Funk falls into them to knock everything over and all three guys are down. With Stevie down, Sandman and Terry take turns ramming each other face first into the ladder. Richards gets back up and catapults the ladder into the others’ faces and everyone is down again. The Stevie Kick nails Sandman for two and Terry takes one for the same.

Sandman throws both of them plus the ladder out to the floor and dives over the top, knocking the ladder into Richards’ face. Back in and Terry suplexes Stevie but Sandman throws in a trashcan, nailing Terry square in the head. Funk doesn’t seem to mind and even helps Sandman with a spike piledriver on Stevie. Sandman crushes him under the ladder but Terry can only get two.

Terry nails Sandman in the face with the ladder to send him to the floor as Dreamer rants about Raven getting to face the winner while fresh. A double powerbomb is enough to pin Richards and get us down to one on one, sucking some life out of the crowd. Sandman and Terry shake hands then punch each other in the face, only to have Terry backdrop him out to the floor and onto Stevie.

We get barbed wire brought in but Terry wraps Sandman’s shirt around his face and hammers away. The barbed wire is whipped over Sandman’s back to cut him open, but Sandman wraps it around himself and drops a top rope legdrop for two. Stevie is still here for some reason as the trashcan is put over Sandman’s head, setting up a superkick to knock Sandman silly. Terry adds a moonsault for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was the hardcore mess that you have to expect with ECW. Sandman wasn’t much of a wrestler in the technical sense but the fans were way into him and he could throw a solid punch. Funk winning was the best option with Dreamer not being an option, but the fans were WAY behind Stevie here and an upset wouldn’t have been a terrible idea.

Richards would jump to WCW for a few matches, including this one on Nitro, August 18, 1997.

Stevie Richards vs. Scotty Riggs

Richards charges to the ring like a maniac. Riggs grabs the wrist to start before nearly botching a monkey flip. A dropkick puts Richards on the floor but he rams Scotty’s shoulder into the post to take over. Back in and a sitout spinebuster gets two for Stevie but Scotty comes back with some clotheslines. Richards loses his half shirt and gets caught in a side slam for two. Raven jumps the railing as Stevie hits the Stevie Kick for the pin.

Rating: D. I guess this was to set up future stuff but that didn’t make this any easier to get through. Riggs is just not that good and Richards is a comedy character which doesn’t make for an interesting or good match at all. Not much to see here but that would be the case for a lot of Nitro matches.

After a year or so doing nothing of note, it was off to the WWF with one of Richards first matches taking place on Smackdown, October 14, 1999.

Stevie Richards vs. Val Venis

Richards comes out as Dude Love because he’s a bit out there. Val counters a monkey flip with a hot shot but walks into a superkick for two. Back up and Venis slams him down and hits the Money Shot for the pin in just over a minute.

Richards would become Steven Richards and lead the Right to Censor as a parody of the PTC. Here he is at Summerslam 2000.

Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

Too Cool and Rikishi are WAY over at this point and even won the tag titles over the summer. The RTC is Richards/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan at this point. Some of Goodfather’s former women come out with Rikishi, one of which would become known as Victoria. It’s a big brawl to start until we get Scotty pounding on Buchanan. Hotty backflips over Buchanan and pulls him down before getting two off a high cross body. Off to Sexay for a double suplex before Goodfather comes in and falls to the floor. He shoves Victoria down before punching Sexay in the face to take over.

Buchanan gets in some shots of his own and it’s off to Richards for his cheap shots. A powerbomb gets two and JR sounds stunned. Steven gets crotched on top and superplexed down allowing for the hot tag to Rikishi. The fat man cleans house and Victoria throws Richards back in the ring. The RTC is sent into the corner with Too Cool being launched into all of them at once, but Bull gets in a quick ax kick to take the Samoan down. Scotty loads up the Worm but Steven kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: C. Basic six man tag here to get the crowd going. A fast paced act like Too Cool and Rikishi is always a great choice to start up a show as the crowd gets fired up for the entrance and hopefully stays hot for the rest of the show. The RTC was a fine choice for a heel stable as they took away what the fans wanted to see and the people were glad to see them get beaten up.

Another match from No Mercy 2000.

Val Venis/Steven Richards vs. Billy Gunn/Chyna

Steven refers to Gunn as rectally obsessed. That somehow fits. Who came up with the stupid name? They need to be drug out into the street and shot. Val and Rikishi start us off which is as riveting as it sounds. Val punches Chyna on the floor and goes into the steps for his troubles. This is going nowhere fast. I hate that expression but it fits here.

Chyna spins Richards around by the tie. She goes off on him and the heels are in trouble. Val goes after the arm of Billy as this is setting new standards for boring. Chyna gets a very weak tag for the beatdown. Handspring elbow to Val as Billy helps to beat him up. Pedigree attempt but Eddie comes down to hit her with the loaded flowers and Val gets the pin.

Rating: F. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. I get the injury thing but at the same time this had nothing at all to it. Get on to the next match please.

The RTC would start going downhill but they had one more decent night at No Way Out 2001.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to lose her clothes. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

Richards would become his old self around this time and win 21 Hardcore Titles. We’ll skip past that as there’s almost nothing to talk about most of the time. Here he is on Raw, January 13, 2003.

Steven Richards vs. Hurricane

Set up earlier, meaning Trish and Victoria are with the guys here. Steven’s suplex is countered and Hurricane takes him down with a clothesline. Hurricane hits the Blockbuster (minus most of the flip) and the Eye of the Hurricane for the pin in less than 90 seconds.

From Raw, September 8, 2003.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Somehow Steiner has a job at this point. He also has Stacy who is his girlfriend/head freak at this point, which would change very soon. This is angle advancement for Steiner vs. Test, the latter of which is at ringside here. Richards tries to jump Steiner to start and gets pounded down in the corner as a result. There’s a clothesline for Richards and it’s push-up time. Richards gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a Downward Spiral for the pin. Nothing match here.

One more Raw match on May 3, 2004.

Kane vs. Steven Richards

Chokeslam, pin, 37 seconds.

So it’s pretty clear that a change is in order and thankfully that came in the form of JBL being a jerk and attacking Blue Meanie for real at One Night Stand 2005. The result was the BWO getting a PPV match at Great American Bash 2005.

Mexicools vs. BWO

Oh where do I begin. Ok so the Mexicools are Juvy, Psicosis and Super Crazy as really stereotypocal Mexicans (ride lawnmowers, carry rakes etc). The BWO is here because at One Night Stand, JBL legitimately beat up Blue Meanie. WWE gave Meanie a job for like two months so he didn’t sue them. This is their only match of note. The BWO comes out on big wheels for absolutely no apparent reason. American Chopper joke maybe?

Juvy vs. Nova starts us off. Things break down and the BWO takes over. Psicosis finally hits a corkscrew plancha to take over on Nova. Back to Juvy as Nova gets beaten down. He Hulks Up (NWO parody remember…..in 2005) and Cole messes up the BWO’s names. Hot tag brings in Richards who cleans house. Side slam gets two on Psicosis. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a moonsault onto Richards followed by a guillotine legdrop by Psicosis for the pin.

Rating: F. This was on PPV. Once you get that through your heads, you’ll get why this was a failure.

Richards would be part of the new ECW, including this match on SNME XXXIII.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

And here’s your token ECW match that no one will care about. This is an extreme rules match thank goodness. Richards is talented if nothing else. He doesn’t get an entrance though so there we are. Sabu kind of hits a triple jump moonsault but kind of doesn’t which is a good result for him. It’s table time and an Arabian Facebuster later we’re done.

Rating: N/A. Sabu would be gone in a few weeks as Van Dam and he had gotten caught in the car with the pot and the kettle and the dinette set.

Here’s a slightly more competitive match on ECW on Sci-Fi, May 15, 2007.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Richards is very fired up here and Punk has taped up ribs. Punk fires off some kicks and nails a t-bone suplex for two. Stevie comes back with a knee to the ribs and rips off the tape to kick at the ribs even more. Off to a bow and arrow but Punk floats over and gets two off a jackknife cover. A double stomp to the rips gets two on Punk and we hit the abdominal stretch. Richards misses a charge in the corner and Punk fires off his usual kicks and knees but to the back. A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two and the GTS is good for the pin.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I thought I would as Richards was thinking out there by going after the injured body part. You would be surprised how many wrestlers would ignore the big taped up ribs and go after an arm or a leg. It’s such a basic idea and that’s all you need to do a lot of the time.

Richards would jump to TNA as a doctor (don’t ask), starting at Victory Road 2009.

Abyss vs. Stevie Richards

I’m in awe of how stupid this angle and character is but whatever. Abyss has just started wearing his current entrance attire that makes him look like a homeless man. Stevie has some kind of pipe or something and beats on Abyss with it. They continue to confuse me by calling him Stevie Richards and acknowledge his background in wrestling.

I’m not even going to rant about how stupid that is but whatever. Again we’re told how great Abyss can be. And again we ignore that he’s a former world champion. Are they ashamed of that or something? They say AJ is a former world champion here even though he had only won NWA Titles at this point. I really hate that clapping Abyss does.

It’s stupid when Christian does it but it’s just freaking idiotic when Abyss does it. We head into the crowd so we can kill off some time to go along with the brain cells. Seriously, what is the appeal of the monster being all child-like? Is that supposed to be interesting or funny or something? I’d assume it’s based off of being ironic or something but in order for irony to work it needs to be interesting which this just flat out isn’t.

Since it’s TNA, of course Stevie starts bleeding. That’s a real problem with TNA today: they think blood makes a match better. Blood can help a match, but only when it’s done both in moderation as well as properly. TNA has a real issue with it as they do it so often that it loses all effectiveness. The fans are insane and rather annoying here, wanting Stevie to get hurt more and more.

Somewhere a man named Lee is crying. And now it’s chair time because we need to kill off more time in this match. Just like the previous match, this is a glorified squash. He pulls Stevie up after two from Shock Treatment. Daffney brings Stevie a stun gun that he’s used lately. Instead he runs into a Black Hole Slam. He uses the tazer on him and smoke comes out of it. There’s the pin and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was even worse than the previous match as this one was even more of a squash. It was about 95% Abyss dominance which isn’t interesting at all. Then again neither of these guys are interesting characters so that likely has a lot to do with it. Richards as a doctor never quite worked.

Time for an ECW reunion show at Hardcore Justice 2010.

PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.

The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.

And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.

One final match at Bound For Glory 2010 with Richards as part of EV 2.0.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the heck out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the tar out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living heck out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants. Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ FREAKING STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

I’m going to wrap it up there because I don’t think I can manage to sit through Stevie Richards as champion of an ECW tribute promotion. Richards is a guy whose athletic abilities are underrated but his comedy stuff more than makes up for it. He’s a talented guy and found his niche as a goofy lackey to someone like Raven. The guy is good and nailed the role he was given most of the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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