Sacrifice 2007 – Best TNA PPV I Can Remember

Sacrifice 2007
Date: May 13, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is a very interesting show and it’s a pretty important show in company history. The NWA has basically thrown TNA out because the NWA is really stupid and thinks those three letters are enough to carry them. Therefore, the titles aren’t officially the NWA world/tag titles anymore and I don’t think there are physical belts. The NWA bailed because they’re stupid, so the main event is for the world title with Christian vs. Sting vs. Angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how we praise wrestlers like gods even though they’re just humans. They have drive though which is why they’re better than us.

All of the title matches are in triple threat matches tonight. Just what I wanted.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin is champion. Sonjay is jealous because Lethal has been getting the attention when they’re both around Nash. The fans like Lethal. Sabin immediately gets psychological on them, dropping to the mat. Dutt goes for the cover and Lethal says not so fast my friend, channeling his inner Corso. They argue for a bit and then the double teaming begins. That doesn’t last long as they keep arguing. The story here is obvious: they both want the title so they can’t work together.

The times they do work together are pretty solid though, including one instance where they throw him over the top rope to the floor, where he bounces off the concrete and into the railing. The two good guys fly around a bit without making any violent contact. Translation: it’s more like a dance recital than a match. Dutt grabs a one armed camel clutch but Sabin runs back in for a seated dropkick to Lethal’s face.

Sabin and Dutt seem to form a bond so they do the same thing that just happened, but Dutt dropkicks Sabin this time. Cute spot. Sabin takes over and makes the faces miss before hitting a headscissors/tornado DDT combo with Lethal taking the storm-themed move. Dutt is sent to the floor and Sabin hammers on Lethal a bit. Dutt breaks that up with a sweet looking reverse 619 to the leg kind of move.

Lethal goes up and hits a top rope double axe to the floor on Sabin. Dutt tops that with a big old Asai Moonsault to the floor. Back in, Sabin can’t get a top rope rana and Dutt half kills Lethal with a middle rope missile dropkick. There’s a new TNA mascot named Stomper, who I think is a crab. I wonder if he’s Mongolian. Dutt tries to take over but Lethal takes him down, only to have Lethal get knocked down by Sabin. Why am I so chatty in this review? I haven’t written this much in less than 15 minutes of a show in I don’t know how long.

Everyone is down now, presumably due to needing a chance to breathe. Dutt speeds things way up and hits a springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Tenay) to Lethal for two. Sabin takes over again and puts them both in the corner with Dutt looking like he’s in a Styles Clash position from Lethal. Lethal’s hair has kind of exploded and you can see where going to the braided hair was the best thing he could have done.

The fans are split between Lethal and Sabin. What’s with the anti-Indian stance of the fans? Sue them for racism!!! Standing enziguri to Sabin, making him look like he’s having a seizure, or that he’s Elvis. Not sure which but either way a superkick puts him down. A release dragon suplex puts Dutt on the floor and the top rope elbow gets two as Dutt makes a late save (he hit Lethal in the ankle. How does that break up a pin?).

Lethal Combination gets two as Dutt dives off the top with the 450 for the save. He can’t pin either guy but he made up for the weak save a minute ago at least. This match is pretty freaking awesome if you couldn’t tell based on what I’m saying. The good guys get in another argument, allowing Sabin to roll up Dutt (I think with tights) for the pin to retain. Lethal would get the belt next month.

Rating: B. Very fun opener here. This wasn’t about being technically sound, but rather about being all over the place and incredibly entertaining, which is exactly what they did here. Dutt vs. Lethal went on for like a year and it never was all that good. Fun match here, although I have a feeling the rest of the show isn’t going to be able to top it, which isn’t good.

Lethal and Dutt brawl post match until Nash comes out for the save. Dutt kicks Nash in the leg and runs.

Roodes doesn’t want to talk about Eric Young. Instead he says Jeff Jarrett is nothing compared to him. Jarrett is going to make Roode tonight.

Nash comes up to the announce table and says he’ll take care of Sonjay on Thursday.

We run down the card to fill some time.

VKM was at a meet and greet earlier today with fans when Basham/Damaja attacked them. Roadie was injured due to getting his head slammed into the floor so tonight it’s a handicap match.

We recap Jarrett vs. Roode. Jarrett hadn’t been around since losing to Sting at Bound For Glory, which was mainly due to his wife being sick, resulting in her death ten days after this show. Jarrett had come back at Lockdown and then was revealed as Eric Young’s friend who was helping Young after he was signed by Roode.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode

Brooks is in a neck brace due to something not important enough to be explained to us. Big ovation for Jarrett. Roode runs up the aisle as the pyro is still going and jumps Jeff before the bell. A piledriver on the floor is of course countered because it would, you know, cripple Jarrett. We get the opening bell and Jeff hammers away and struts. Brooks trips Jarrett up and we head to the floor again.

Jeff is sent into the steps and we hear about how Jeff might be a bit off tonight because this is his first singles match in over six months. Backslide gets two for Jarrett but Roode stops his momentum with a lariat. Roode goes up and jumps into a boot which was an annoying trend he had during this heel run. We look at the mascot again (instead of Brooks who is, you know, not an animal) and Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long.

Roode hooks a bad figure four (doesn’t even deserve to be capitalized) and Jarrett doesn’t really sell it for awhile. Roode tries it again with a Jarrett mimic in there but Jeff rolls him up for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Traci jumps up and down and I lose my train of thought. Jarrett wins a brief slugout and takes over with a low blow which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Roode gets slammed off the top and now Jarrett hooks the Figure Four in what I guess you can call a Flair Double Shot.

Traci grabs the referee (lucky) while Roode taps. Jarrett is a good guy in this match so he lets go of the hold because he’s an idiot. Roode rips a buckle pad off but both guys block shots into the steel. Now Roode is going for the knee for some reason. Oh yeah that alleged figure four earlier. He wraps Jarrett’s leg around the post and brings in a chair. The referee tries to grab it which the referee releases to send it into Roode’s head in a HORRIBLE looking shot. Stroke gets two as Brooks saves, only to get her sent to the back.

The referee takes her to the back for some reason, allowing Roode to hit a handcuff shot to the head for a very delayed two. Roode brings in a guitar but the referee steals it. Stroke is attempted but Roode counters into a fisherman’s suplex attempt which is countered into a Figure Four attempt which is countered into a kick into the steel exposed earlier. That’s enough for the Payoff (fisherman’s) to end it.

Rating: B+. This show is DRILLING it tonight as we get our second awesome match of the night. The ending was full of some awesome back and forth counters and the ending actually played off something earlier in the match. That’s all you can ask for at times and we got a great match out of it. Good stuff again.

Roode sets for a guitar shot but gets caught in the Figure Four again. Traci bounces out to hit Jarrett with the guitar but Young comes in for the save, putting Traci in a Figure Four of his own.

Christian is having a victory party despite not wrestling for about two hours. He still has the NWA Title here. He says all of Team Cage is going to win tonight. Tomko isn’t here yet and Steiner, his partner later, isn’t happy. AJ says he’ll take care of Joe later.

Christopher Daniels vs. Rhyno

There’s no backstory here that I know of. Daniels was channeling Sting or something, complete with mask, and Rhyno is the next victim I believe. All Rhyno to start as he runs over Daniels with power move after power move. Daniels gets up top but jumps into a belly to belly but he avoids the Gore. The fans aren’t sure who they like best here. Daniels misses a baseball slide but Rhyno misses a pescado. Not often you see a horned man fly. Then again it’s not often that you see a horned man.

Daniels sends him into the post to take over even more as we enter the heel dominance portion of our selection this evening. It appears to be the shoulder that’s hurt, so Daniels sends it into the barricade. Daniels works on the arm a lot, which is so evil and satanic of him isn’t it? Rhyno grabs a backbreaker to finally get some relief for his shoulder. Powerslam gets two.

STO gets two for Daniels. Spinebuster gets the same for Rhyno. This isn’t quite as good as the rest of the matches on the show tonight if you couldn’t tell. Daniels grabs a Koji Clutch which is shifted into the smarter cross armbreaker. Rhyno manages to get to a rope before he started thinking of Del Rio and fell asleep. BME misses and Rhyno hits something like a TKO for two. Daniels hammers away on him but Rhyno snaps off a Gore, which the announcers call a shoulder for no apparent reason. It gets two due to a boot on the ropes. Daniels goes to the floor where he picks up a ball bat and whacks Rhyno with it for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah not as good as the other stuff but still, pretty decent stuff here that could have been a solid TV match which is ok on a PPV I think. The arm work made sense because that was his Gore arm, but I’d have liked the ball bat shot to have been to the arm instead of the head, which looked ridiculous and sounded even worse. Still though, this was fine.

Just to further the eye rolling aspect of the ending, Rhyno is up about 100 seconds after being hit over the head with a baseball bat by a professional athlete. He says he’s going to take Daniels out and goes after him. After a brief chat with the announcers we see Daniels coming back down the ramp with blood covering his face. Rhyno follows a few seconds later with a chair and my goodness he must have hit him hard. There couldn’t be any other possibility like a razor blade or makeup right?

Rhyno sets for a Rhyno Driver onto two chairs but security finally comes in to break it up. Shame too because it would have been awesome looking. West wanted to see the Driver.

We recap VKM vs. Basham/Danaja. VKM wanted Christy Hemme to sleep with them to get ahead and she said no, which set off a fairly long feud, resulting in her bringing in a bunch of teams to face them. It would wind up being the Rock N Rave Infection but until them we’re stuck with the Bashams.

Kip says he’s on his own tonight and that’s cool.

Kip James vs. Basham/Damaja

Damaja starts and Kip fires away quickly, as is common in handicap matches. Fameasser misses and it’s off to Basham. The heels (I think) take over and beat Kip down as Basham hooks a cravate. Kip fights back but walks into a chokebomb (Brain Damage) and a top rope headbutt from Basham ends this.

Rating: D. I guess every show has to have one bad match. This was pretty much nothing as Road Dogg couldn’t be there. To be fair though, it’s not like the match they had the next month was any better at all. This was just a bad match and the walking definition of a popcorn break match. The best match on the show (allegedly) is up next though so I’m cool with that.

Kip gets beaten down again post match until Lance Hoyt finally gets there to make the save.

We recap Storm vs. Harris, which is due to Storm turning heel on Harris and breaking a beer bottle over his eye. The result is a Texas Death Match between a guy from Tennessee and a guy from Kentucky being held in Florida.

Harris says Storm only had to say he wanted to end the team but instead he tried to end Harris’ career with a beer bottle. This has been about revenge and payback. It’s been about revenge before but now it’s about payback.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

This is a Texas Death Match, which is last man standing but you have to get a pin or submission before the ten count begins. Both guys are in street clothes. In a cool visual, Harris rips up an AMW shirt on his way to the ring. This feels like it’s going to be awesome which is a very good sign. They slug it out in the aisle and Harris has the trademark handcuffs.

They go into the crowd almost immediately and Storm is running away. They’re in the back row of the arena and Storm is almost thrown over the wall in the back. I wonder what’s back there. Maybe it’s where they keep Shark Boy? All Harris so far as they head to the ring. Storm throws a drink in Harris’ face to shift momentum but Storm gets thrown into a wall to changes things right back again.

Harris is in the ring alone and has a beer and a chair. Storm is still over the railing so Harris hits a HUGE dive over the railing to kill Storm dead and gets a pin. Storm is up at 8 though. Harris goes up again but Storm knocks him off and gets his leg tied up in the ropes so that he’s in a Tree of Woe but hanging outside the ropes. Storm cracks him with a chair to the head and Harris is busted.

It’s Table Time as Harris is placed on the top rope. He avoids a hurricanrana and counters a sunset flip (???) into a Sharpshooter of all things. Well it takes out the legs so that makes sense. He can’t get it on so he kicks Storm in the balls. He catapults Storm face first into the bottom of the table, cutting him open on the metal part. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Harris can’t suplex him through the table so Storm kicks him low to balance things out.

Storm hits the Eye of the Storm to put Harris through the table. That looked awesome and it gets an academic pin but only gets nine. Here’s another table brought in by the Cowboy. He falls down trying to get it in though, probably due to blood loss. The table is on the outside but Storm can’t hit another Eye over the top. Harris goes to the apron and gets caught in an Elevated DDT for no cover.

Storm brings in various basic hardcore weapons but as he’s getting in himself, Harris spears him through the ropes to put him through the table. Not exactly Foley vs. Edge but not bad. Back in, Harris picks up a chair and Storm superkicks it into his face for two. Storm is STUNNED. You can’t see Storm’s face. It’s literally a crimson mask. They trade HARD trashcan lid shots and Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) onto a trashcan for two.

Now the match gets taken down a peg because Jackie Freaking Moore has to get involved. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE A JOB??? She isn’t attractive, she’s nothing special in the ring, she’s always getting in the way, and NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HER. And if you say you do, you’re lying. Gail Kim comes out and cuffs her so she can drag her out of here. Both guys have beer bottles and Harris gets a shot to the head of Storm for the pin and the ten count. Perfect way to end it.

Rating: A. GREAT brawl and war here which is exactly what they needed to do. Tenay and West freak out and say how great it is and for once this year, they’re right. This was a blood war and Storm’s face is absolutely scary given how much blood there was on it. Great match and absolutely worth seeing based on the level of violence here.

Sting yells at Daniels about how he doesn’t have this right. Daniels says he has it absolutely right and leaves. Sting yells about Angle and says he’ll win the title tonight.

We get a highlight package of the Death Match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Alex Shelly vs. Senshi vs. Tiger Mask IV

He’s just called Tiger Mask here so we’ll go with that. Two in the ring at a time and we start with Senshi vs. Lynn. It’s one fall to a finish also. Lynn tries a crucifix but Senshi rolls down the back and misses a foot stomp. Lynn hooks an inverted spinning Gory Special and then they hit the mat. Jerry grabs an armbar but Senshi gets into a cross armbreaker on the ropes.

Shelly tags himself in and works on Lynn’s arm to a big reaction. Lynn speeds things up again and takes over on Shelley’s arm. Here’s Tiger Mask and Shelly bails almost immediately. Senshi gets him instead and Tiger Mask takes over. Everybody keeps tagging themselves in so there’s almost no way to keep track of who is legal and what is going on. A standing moonsault gets two for Mask on Shelley.

Everything breaks down and I’m really not even going to try to keep track of it. Lynn’s cradle piledriver is broken up as is the Tiger suplex to Senshi. Lynn hits a sunset flip to something like a Tower of Doom minus the Tower aspect and most of the Doom aspect. Still though, it looked cool and got two. A TKO gets two on Mask and Shelly puts Lynn on the top rope. Senshi dives onto the corner and tries….something that looks like a brainbuster off the top Shelly makes a save. Shelly tries a top rope rana but gets countered into a sunset flip by Lynn for the three count.

Rating: C. It’s fun and flashy but it’s nothing I’m going to want to see again. This is far from what the first one earlier in the night was but they were trying. Also this is a great match to throw out there to give the fans a breather after the big bloodbath we saw with the AMW explosion. It’s not bad but it’s really not my style.

The Guns beat down Lynn post match until Backlund makes the save.

We recap the tag title match. Team 3D beat LAX for the belts and giving them more or less every tag title ever and their 20th title overall.

Tomko says he can’t go over strategy with Steiner because Steiner is nuts and Steiner has right to call him out because he has stuff to do.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko vs. LAX

So Tomko and Steiner don’t get along and are here….because I guess, and LAX are the guys Team 3D beat to get the titles. After almost a minute of arguing we get Homicide vs. Steiner to start us off. Power vs. speed obviously and Homicide can only run so long before he gets caught. Ray tags himself in and sneaks up on Steiner for a pretty awesome German release.

Homicide comes back in and hits half a dropkick to both Immortal members. He and Steiner team up to beat on Ray which is about as odd of a pairing as you’ll find this side of Alex Shelly and Abyss. Ray kicks Homicide’s head off and it’s off to D-Von vs. Tomko. D-Von powerslams him down and SuperMex comes in via the slingshot shoulder. A Thesz Press by D-Von gets the fans behind the champions.

And never mind as LAX double teams him right back down to take over again. Steiner comes in and drops the elbow and the push-ups. Ray breaks up the cover and does push-ups of his own in a funny bit. He and Homicide get into it as D-Von keeps getting beaten down, in this case by Hernandez. Henandez does that always cool backflip to the top rope and seemingly botches a top rope splash to D-Von for two. His leg kind of landed on D-Von’s head which has to freaking hurt.

In a smart move, Tomko breaks up the pin and pulls Hernandez, not D-Von, back to his corner so that Tomko can tag himself in and get a piece of the weakened D-Von. Man, when did Tomko get so smart? It doesn’t really work though as D-Von hits a tornado DDT to break the momentum. I see why Tomko rarely used logic. LAX comes in to stop the tag but D-Von rolls under then and tags Bubba in a nice move.

Ray throws Hernandez out and brings Homicide in. Go after the smaller guys I guess. That’s very bullyish of him. Everything breaks down as is customary in these matches. Steiner suplexes D-Von so Hernandez destroys Steiner with a backbreaker. Ray cleans house and What’s Up Homicide? The fans want tables but Hernandez dives over the top to take out D-Von. Steiner and Tomko beat up Homicide but Homicide rolls through a Doomsday Device for two. Tomko and Steiner get into it but beat up Bubba a bit. Double teaming fails though and a 3D from 3D beats Tomko.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic triple threat here but it worked well enough. The Dudleys needed a win to establish themselves (for some reason) so this did that well enough. The Steiner/Tomko issue will be made clear in a bit. Tomko I think would go on to team with AJ and hold the tag titles for about six months after this so he did well enough. Also they would be the TNA Tag Titles here before to long.

Tomko attacks Steiner post match until Rick Steiner comes out for the save. They would team together for like three PPVs in a row against the Dudleys.

Angle is in Sting’s freaky area. He says Sting goes to Wal-Mart before all of his matches to buy facepaint so he can look like Ronald McDonald. What kind of creepy McDonald’s does Angle frequent? Angle says kill the effects, because once you do that, it’s just like Sting: nothing special. He’s a wrestler but Sting is nothing but a cartoon character. When Kurt Angle is calling you a cartoon character, you must be pretty messed up.

We recap AJ vs. Joe. This is another byproduct of Angle vs. Cage, as if they needed a reason to run this match.

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

They’re treating this like a brand new match for some reason. I mean they’re not saying they’ve never met before, but they’re acting like this is an unheard of pairing. They exchange early control and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner to rattle Styles. Both guys try to speed things up but AJ misses a charge and goes to the floor where Joe hits the suicide elbow to send AJ into the crowd.

AJ gets knocked into the barricade and complains of a bad arm/elbow. Since AJ is a heel here he’s playing possum and pokes Joe in the eye. Why did they think this guy needed Flair again? Out to the floor again and Joe tries the Ole Kick but AJ gets out of the way. Back inside and AJ hits his drop down into the dropkick spot. That always looks so smooth, probably due to his using it in every match.

Joe grabs an atomic drop but a boot misses and AJ spin kicks him down for two. A release German buys some time for the fat Samoan. They slug it out and speed it up but Joe hits an overhead belly to belly and senton backsplash for two. AJ pulls the front of Joe’s trunks down to ram him into the corner and OH MY GOODNESS MY EYES!!!! I….I think I saw thong. What did I do to AJ to deserve that? I rate his matches well enough!

Springboard forearm looks to give AJ the advantage but the backflip into the reverse DDT fails also. The second attempt works better but it’s only good for two. He can’t hit the Clash and walks into a Death Valley Driver for two. Joe gets sent to the floor and may have messed the knee up. Back inside Joe kicks him in the face but can’t charge at Styles in the corner. AJ loads up the Spiral Tap but Joe was playing some serious possum, which AJ had been doing lately. Styles looks terrified so Joe locks in the Clutch and suplexes him over with it for the pin.

Rating: B-. Definitely one of their weaker matches but still very decent stuff. AJ just doesn’t work as a heel. It’s like trying to fight the Easter Bunny: you can try all you want, but it’s not there at the end of the day. This was very back and forth but was more like Joe getting revenge than being in any danger, which isn’t really all that great. Still though, Joe vs. AJ is always worth taking a look at.

We recap the world title match. This really spun off from Team Cage vs. Team Angle at Lockdown where Christian is kind of ducking Angle but he’s finally getting a shot tonight. Sting is here because….well because he’s Sting and he’s always in the title picture. I think he had lost it to Abyss and Christian won it from him so this is officially Sting’s rematch. Oh ok Jarrett got the fall in Lethal Lockdown and gave the title shot he won to Sting. Christian is playing them against each other.

NWA World Title; Sting vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle

Christian comes in as champion as we’ve already covered. Angle has only been here for awhile so he hasn’t been champion yet, making this a potentially huge night. The fans aren’t sure who they like but Sting seems to be solidly in third place. Christian is sent to the floor for the big showdown. I think the Canadian is the only heel in this. Angle takes over on Sting but goes to the floor. Sting beats on Christian outside and the fans seem more behind Christian than anyone else.

Angle vs. Christian in the ring now. Kurt is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s back to Sting vs. the Canadian. Sting actually hits the big elbow drop after a gorilla press. I don’t think I ever remember seeing that. A Vader Bomb of all things gets two. Angle pops back up and pulls Sting to the floor for an Angle Slam (called a suplex by Tenay) on the ramp. So now it’s Christian vs. Angle as the revolving door style of this match continues.

Sting starts getting back up so Christian hammers him right back down. That’s not very nice and I think he should send him a polite handwritten note of apology. Christian slaps Angle resulting in the American hitting a bunch of Germans on the Canadian. He’s at eight so far. Somehow that only gets two for Angle. As if that wasn’t enough for the champion, Sting puts Christian on the top and Angle runs up for a German to make a Tower of Doom, sending Christian flying.

Angle Slam and Unprettier are both countered so Christian goes up. Sting throws Angle into the ropes to crotch the champ. Christian falls forward and Angle is put in front of him for a Stinger Splash. The Death Drop gets two on Angle as Christian pulls the referee out. Scorpion is countered into the ankle lock but Christian saves.

Scratch the saving part as they’re both put in an ankle lock at the same time. They counter out and Sting hits a Rock Bottom on Christian (that’s a new one) but there’s no referee. Another referee comes out and Sting rolls Christian up. Angle grabs Sting’s ankle though and it’s a pin/tap at the same time.

Rating: B-. Good main event but it ran less than eleven minutes which really hurts it. The ending of course got thrown out for a Dusty Finish because Angle winning the world title had to be done twice right? It set up the King of the Mountain match next month which was better than this but not by much. This desperately needed about five more minutes and it would have been far better.

Overall Rating: A-. I REALLY liked this show and it’s easily one of the best that TNA has ever done. There’s a great match in the Death Match and the only really bad match is the handicap which is understandable. Good stuff although a longer main event and the show not ending in a Dusty Finish would have raised it up even higher. I liked it a lot and it’s probably the top TNA show I can think of. Great show.

 

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Sacrifice 2011 – Played So Safe They Might As Well Have Their Tubes Tied

Sacrifice 2011
Date: May 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another TNA PPV tonight with the main event being Sting vs. RVD for the title.  Earlier today Karen Angle, who is in one of the big matches, posted a message on her Facebook saying that she wouldn’t be able to be in the ring tonight due to a bad ankle.  What a shock indeed.  Anyway the card looks ok I guess so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Sting vs. RVD and is set to a song called, appropriately enough, Sacrifice which is rap/hip hop.  Both guys are shown training, almost like a Rocky montage.

There’s a big Sacrifice banner which is a bit different.  There was a rumor that the whole place would look different but I don’t see any major differences.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc

 

Neal comes out with the big American flag to fight off the evil (not) foreigners.  The fans chant USA as I guess Shannon’s teased heel turn means nothing.  This is now the Impact Wrestling Zone.  Yeah I’m not changing the name.  Anarquia and Shannon start us off.  Arm work by Shannon to start which goes on for awhile.  Anarquia wasn’t bad as Lowrider in OVW but he’s rather generic here which isn’t his fault.

Anarquia tries some power which gets him a leg lariat from Moore.  Rosita gets up to distract and this incredibly by the book match brings in Hernandez.  Neal comes in also and gets a belly to belly to take him down.  Sarita does the same thing Rosita did as even the announcers point out that it’s the same thing.  Back off to Anarquia and Moore who gets a cross body off the top for two.

Moore goes to the floor and Anarquia slides into the ring skirt, getting caught behind it in a somewhat creative spot.  Asai moonsault takes Hernandez down but Sarita comes in again to turn the tide.  Shouldn’t a big powerful heel tag team not need girls to take over on some punks?  Backbreaker submission goes on Moore by Hernandez and a slam move gets two.

Moore plays Ricky Morton as every female wrestling fan that was a teenager in the 80s screams in terror.  Moonsault press mostly misses Anarquia and it’s hot tag Neal minus the pop.  Cross body out of the corner gets two.  Moore gets a Cactus Clothesline to take Anarquia to the floor but it’s Border Toss time.  That doesn’t connect but neither does the Mooregasm due to Rosita.  Hernandez uses a sitout Dominator for the pin on Neal.  He almost landed on his head but the hair shielded him.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match at all and even decent at times, but this was the walking definition of generic.  It’s as paint by numbers as you can possibly get but at the same time that’s just fine.  Decent enough opener and nothing to really complain about.  Nothing to get excited about either but this was completely fine.

The announcers talk about what happened on Impact and get interrupted by the Jarretts’ music.  Karen is on crutches and is in a cast/walking boot.  Jeff says that Karen was giving orders to the hired help and stepped on an action figure.  The fans LOUDLY chant BS as apparently she has a bad sprain and it’s broken in two places.  The tag match is off and cue Foley.  He says he looked at the x-ray and that apparently it was of a 6’6 African American male.  The match is on because wrestling matters.  Karen throws the walking boot at Foley as he leaves.

Brian Kendrick is apparently facing Robbie E tonight in an added match.  He talks about language and talks about how the X-Division is awesome and how it’s not just about small people.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

 

Kendrick does his meditation thing pre-match with the hood over his head.  Hmm, Robbie has his opponent on the mat with his head covered and with him not looking.  What in the world should he do?  He pulls the hood back and gets beaten up for his efforts.  Kendrick, robe/whatever still on meditates more and keeps fighting him off.  I can’t decide if he’s more like Mr. Miyagi or Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

Cookie goes after Kendrick and is told God has a plan for her.  Robbie knocks him to the floor in his first offense.  Kendrick’s mouth is busted.  Middle rope elbow gets two on Kendrick who is still in that robe.  Suplex on the floor but the second is reversed by Kendrick.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gives Kendrick control and there goes the robe.  Robbie can’t get the neckbreaker and a leg lariat ends this.  Time for meditation.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was just an extended Impact match.  Not bad but at the same time there’s no real point to this for the most part.  Granted it’s an added match so you can’t really complain about much.  I’m curious as to where this leads to a very small extent as the whole X-Division thing has been done over and over again and it never goes anywhere long term.

Kendrick tries to “bond” with both of them post match and it doesn’t go that well.

Tara is asked about the match tonight and is asked who she wants to win.  Before she can answer Madison pops up and says it’s all about her.  Tara is told to stay in the back tonight.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison.  Tara was forced to leave so Madison brought her back on the condition that she had to work for Madison.  Mickie won the title from Madison in about 8 seconds at Lockdown so tonight it’s title vs. Tara’s contract.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

Madison looks hot but her tiara looks like the hat the Pope wears.  The religious leader, not Dinero.  Tara pops up just after the bell.  Well at least we’re longer than the previous month’s match.  We hit the floor quickly and Mickie is sent into the steps.  Madison drops her by the hair for two.  All Rayne so far.  Tara won’t hit Mickie when Madison tells her to.  Mickie grabs a neckbreaker to get us back to even.

Tara still won’t hit her and we get some pinfall attempts.  Down goes the referee and Mickie gets kicked in the thigh I think.  Madison revives the old loaded glove trick but Tara steals it away.  Mickie can’t get the DDT and Madison gets a rollup with a handful of Dukes for two.  Mickie gets a flapjack and a nip(ple) up but the Thesz Press takes down the referee again.  Rayne Drop can’t hit and it’s DDT time.  Tara comes in with the loaded glove and hits Madison to zero shock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Really awkward match here as the ending was exactly what they hinted at the entire time.  Tara vs. Madison is up next I guess so I guess Mickie now faces…Winter maybe?  I really have no idea but it should be ok I guess.  Should be interesting either way I suppose.  Yeah I have nothing else to say here.

Fourtune says they’ll win tonight.  Tonight Max Buck can’t be a star if he was thrown by a ninja.  Cool line.  AJ vs. Dreamer is no DQ.  Beer Money makes fun of Harris and says AMW is done.

X-Division Title: Max Buck vs. Kazarian

If there are five members of Fourtune, why does the song say Fourtune Four?  Technical stuff to start us off with neither guy getting an extended advantage.  Kaz is in long tights tonight in a new look for him if my memory is right.  Max sends him into the corner but Kaz jumps over him and gets a reverse X-Factor for two.  That was a rather smooth looking counter indeed.

The fans aren’t that pleased here it seems.  Out to the floor with Max in control as he shouts Come On Frankie.  Jawbreaker gives Max more control and a dropkick gets two.  We hit the mat and Kaz gets beaten on even more.  Kaz gets a gutwrench suplex off the middle rope to put both guys down.  Spinwheel kick gets no cover for the champ.

Springboard legdrop gets two.  Fade to Black is countered so Kaz settles for a jumping neckbreaker for two.  Fade to Black is countered again into a Buckle Bomb as Max takes over again.  Elevated DDT sets up a 450 for two.  Surprised by that kickout.  Kaz punts him kind of and a sunset bomb sends Max head first onto the concrete.  That sounded sick.  THAT gets two as this is a better match than I was expecting.  Fade to Black STILL can’t hit but a Shining Wizard ends Buck finally.

Rating: B. Match of the night so far and a rather unexpectedly long and decent match.  There was zero drama which hurt things a lot here but the match was really quite good.  The ending was a bit abrupt but it was still a good outing by both guys which came out of nowhere, which is always a nice perk.

Abyss says it’s going to take more than Janice to get rid of him.  He keeps going despite everything that’s happened to him.  The teeth he got knocked out of his mouth were delicious apparently.  He has Crimson tonight.

Quick recap of Crimson vs. Abyss says that Crimson injured Abyss and is undefeated.  This is revenge time.  Simple and sweet I guess.

Crimson vs. Abyss

 

They charge at each other after a brief staredown and it’s a battle of the big men.  Shoulder block takes Abyss down and a clothesline sends him to the floor.  Out to the floor as this is mostly just a brawl.  All Abyss here.  This is one of those slow matches where a lot of the match is one guy (Crimson in this case) laying around while Abyss moves very slowly.

Crimson tries a comeback and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  More power man stuff leads to a chokeslam by Abyss for a very close two.  And hey it’s time for Janice.  The referee wisely runs off to the floor instead of DQing Abyss.  Since it would be near murder for that to hit Crimson he gets a spear for two.

Shock Treatment doesn’t work as Crimson gets a double arm DDT for two.  Abyss comes back again and a Vader Bomb gets two.  Corner splash misses and Crimson gets a Sky High Powerbomb (Red Sky) to end this.  That’s a good finisher for him as that Red Alert is almost impossible to hit on big guys.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that got better with the finish.  Abyss not having enough to put Crimson down is a nice addition to his whole undefeated streak.  Better than I expected and not bad at all for a battle of the big men.  Crimson could be something interesting if pushed right but they need to get him onto something significant quickly.

We recap Beer Money vs. Matt/Harris which is a weird team to say the least.  Basic idea is Harris knows Storm so that’s their advantage.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris

 

The former partners start us off as Harris’ tights say America’s Most Wanted.  The fans chant Braden Walker and it’s off to Matt before any contact.  The champs take over on Matt as Walker is indeed bigger than he was the last time we saw him.  Now it’s Harris in against Storm’s new “partner”.  Off to Storm now and Harris runs off as Storm glares at him.

The challengers keep using AMW moves on Storm in an attempt at psychology but the gut of Harris keeps covering it up.  Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Matt down but Storm needs a tag.  Double tag to ZERO reaction and Roode plays face in peril again.  Roode gets his back worked on via a middle rope elbow by Hardy and it’s off to a gutwrench.

Finally off to Storm who gets to beat on Harris.  Skin the cat sets up an elevated DDT to Harris.  Reverse tornado DDT gets two for Storm.  He likes those DDTs I guess.  Matt breaks up DWI but it’s a Backstabber for him.  Catatonic doesn’t work and Roode hits a spinebuster to Harris.  The Beer Money shout sets up a superkick to Harris but Storm doesn’t want to do DWI.  Instead it’s the Death Sentence (Trash Compactor for you REALLY old school fans) and Harris is done.  Matt apparently just walked off and left Harris somewhere near the end.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as Harris dragged this WAY down.  He’s terribly out of shape and his selling and timing were way off.  It seems like the Harris thing is probably going to lead to an AMW reunion because that’s the best way to use a guy like Storm right?  Either way, weak match and not much to write home about at all.

Ray yells at Borash a bit “because he can.”  JB asks about Dreamer and Ray says it’s none of his business.  Ray and Dreamer know why Dreamer is doing what he’s doing and JB doesn’t need to know.  Apparently AJ needs to drink, listen to rock and roll and chase women.  Ray threatens AJ’s family, including implying sex with AJ’s wife.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

 

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We recap the Jarretts vs. Angle/Chyna.  Basically Chyna is there to take care of Karen and that’s about it.  Velvet Sky was the prime suspect and that went nowhere.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

 

This should be….interesting.  Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl.  Those exact words.  TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason.  Chyna looks like Captain America.  We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course.  The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry.  Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd.  Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor.  Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in.  Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna.  Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move.  Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to.  Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two.  Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time.  Jeff takes over again and says it’s over.  Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes.  Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff.  Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no.  Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring.  Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner.  Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT.  That has to be better than the powerbomb.  Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap.  Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle.  While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do.  Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it.  The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory.  Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

We get the same recap video from Impact (I think).  Nothing of note here: RVD never lost the title, Sting handpicked him for the rematch.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

 

Anderson, in a Packers Favre jersey and with a laptop at the table apparently, is going to sit in on commentary.  I think he’s doing a live chat during the PPV.  No big match intros here.  Very basic and technical stuff to start us off which is a theme tonight.  Both guys miss moves and Van Dam hits the floor for a breather.  That’s a borderline heel move.

RVD takes over as Anderson mentions the heelish aspects to him tonight.  A spinwheel kick in the corner misses as does a Stinger Splash as we head to the floor.  Van Dam tries a leg drop off the railing and hits railing, possibly hurting his knee.  Into the crowd again as Van Dam reverses a whip into a wall or something.  Anderson makes PG jokes because those haven’t been done in SO long right?

Van Dam gets kicked into a guard rail up in the crowd and both guys are down.  Sting gets kicked down the stairs and dove on in a cool spot.  Back in the ring and it’s the kick off the top by Van Dam as this has been the main event brawl so far.  Knees to the back counter Rolling Thunder and Sting is fired up.  Another Stinger Splash misses in the corner as does the Five Star.

Rollup gets two for Sting and the Death Drop actually hits for….the completely clean pin out of absolutely nowhere.  That’s one of the most anticlimactic endings I have ever seen in my entire life.  Anderson kept running his mouth the entire time and again, absolutely nothing happened here.  He has something special for Sting on Impact apparently.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness man TNA can’t get a main event to work well for the life of them it seems.  Sting winning isn’t a shock but there was NOTHING as far as an ending sequence there.  Literally Sting grabbed the move, hit it and we were done.  No kickouts, not big segment, just a totally clean win.  Not a bad match, but dude, that’s it?

Anderson goes to the ring and stares him down and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was such a played close to the vest show that it was unreal.  It was a decent show and there isn’t a bad match on the card, but nothing is great at all and the best match is only good at best, being the X Title match.  It’s a decent enough show but it’s a show that didn’t need to exist for the most part.  Nothing really happened here and other than Chyna’s first match in like ten years, nothing is going to be memorable about this as far as I can tell.  Decent enough show though and it held my interest for about 90% of it, but definitely not worth $40 or whatever it costs.

Results

Mexican America b. Ink Inc – Sitout Dominator to Neal

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Leg lariat

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Pin after Tara hit Rayne with a loaded glove

Kazarian b. Max Buck – Shining Wizard

Crimson b. Abyss – Red Sky

Beer Money b. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris – Death Sentence to Harris

Tommy Dreamer b. AJ Styles – Piledriver through a table

Kurt Angle/Chyna b. Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett – Ankle lock to Karen Angle

Sting b. Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop