Impact Wrestling – February 13, 2015: Heaven Help Me

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 13, 2015
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re back in the UK this week for the first of several taped shows. This tour usually results in some very high energy shows with the crowd eating up whatever TNA gives them. For once that seems more deserved as these recent shows have been a lot more entertaining and well put together than some of the last ones on Spike. Tonight is about the fallout from Lockdown so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley saying he wouldn’t team with Angle until he changed his mind a week later and helped his team win Lethal Lockdown.

The BDC arrived earlier, now in matching gear. MVP tells them to forget what happened last week because it’s time to show everyone what they do. Eric Young is here and I’m just going to start calling him a member of the team. The only reason he isn’t at this point is TNA said he wasn’t, but it’s close enough so yeah he’s a member of the team.

Here’s Angle to open the show. He’s usually been on his own, but he has to thank Gunner and Aries for helping him last week. The BDC wants to say they control the World Title, but the best wrestler in the world controls that title. Angle invites Lashley out here right now and they shake hands. Lashley says he was there to get his hands on MVP, not to help Angle. That’s fine with Angle, because he wants to be World Champion again. It actually has been a very long time.

Before the champ can say anything, here’s the BDC to interrupt. MVP says last week’s pin in Lethal Lockdown is stripped from the record books for some reason so now and it’s time for one of those two to get a beat down. Lashley cuts MVP off and issues a challenge to either two of them for a tag match against himself and Angle. This was a totally acceptable opening segment, but more importantly it was done in about ten minutes. Take notes WWE.

Austin Aries stops Bobby Roode in the back and goes over their history together. Roode of course respects Aries and agrees to give the fans something special. Unlike the opening segment, I have no idea why this was necessary.

We look back at Jeremy Borash preventing EC3 from cutting Spud’s hair last week.

Carter says he’s wealthy so he gets whatever he wants, and that would be to shave Spud’s head. Tonight it’s Carter/Tyrus vs. Mandrews/Spud/Borash.

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

So they’re actually trying to make this Top 5 concept mean something. Next week there will be a 20 man gauntlet. The first fifteen entrants will be at random but the last five will be determined by the top five. Aries comes into this match at #3 and Roode is #1, basically making this match for the last spot in the gauntlet. The prize is of course a World Title shot the following week.

They trade arm holds to start with Aries going to a headstand but getting caught in an early Crossface. That goes nowhere but neither does Aries’ early Last Chancery. Both of their other finishers miss as well and Aries is sent to the apron but he shoulders Roode in the ribs and hits the slingshot hilo for two. Fast start here. Aries follows him to the floor with a huge top rope ax handle but gets dropped with a gordbuster back inside.

The spinebuster sets up the Blockbuster for two but Aries fights out of the Roode Bomb. Maybe Bobby should have stuck to busting. Austin knocks him off the top rope and hits the missile dropkick, followed by a discus forearm to send him outside. The suicide dive hits the barricade though and Roode takes over. Back in and Aries gets caught in the Crossface for the tap out at 8:21.

Rating: B-. The match was entertaining but the ending was kind of surprising. It does fit the idea of Aries hitting the barricade, but it’s rare to see someone with a top ranking cleanly defending it like this. By saying “this is for the #1 spot in something”, you’re almost guaranteeing that it’s going to change. The surprise isn’t a bad thing though and it worked quite well.

Roode says this is pro wrestling. I’d call that a pretty big stretch. Aries leaves and Roode says it’s time to get his title back. Roode vs. Lashley III never happened and he deserves a rematch. Cue Eric Young to jump Roode from behind and plant him with a piledriver. Of course he does, because where would we be without Eric freaking Young to take the focus off a good match and a logical story progression to keep up a feud where Roode won the big gimmick match? Oh that would be because we can have a TRILOGY, and that’s the magic word in wrestling for some reason, even when there was no desire to see a second match.

After a break, Roode is being helped out and Young piledrives him on the stage. In case you didn’t know, Eric Young is CRAZY.

Here’s Al Snow, looking ancient. He’s been having issues with one of the students on British Boot Camp, which I’d assume has been seen by about 18 American fans. The fans in the arena certainly seem to know it though as they start chanting for Grado, one of the contestants on the most recent season. In Grado, Snow found someone else who thought he could do what Snow does but Grado was just another failure.

Snow gives Grado one more chance to come out here and quit before he has to give the student a beating next week. Grado comes out and looks like a cleaned up Louis Spicolli. Snow rips into him for a lack of respect and heart. He’s the heel here if that wasn’t clear. Grado takes the mic away and says Snow doesn’t realize where he is. They’re in Glasgow and the people here won’t take this from Snow. Grado’s mom is in the front row so Snow yells at her, causing Grado to nail him in the face. The fight is made for next week.

After the segment is over, I still have the same two questions I had before it started: who is Grado and why am I supposed to care about this feud? We first heard about Grado maybe two minutes before he appeared and were given a very basic backstory about him. I get that the fans live are going to like him, but if you don’t or can’t watch British Boot Camp, there’s a good chance you don’t know who this guy is. Show us some stuff from the show and give us a reason to care, because otherwise it’s the same as bringing in the ECW guys for shows in the northeast. If you didn’t care for ECW, you don’t care about that.

I don’t care about British Boot Camp, but it’s more because I haven’t been exposed to it. I’m not a fan of just expecting the fans to know what you’re talking about, especially when you can clear it up with a quick package or by giving us some information more than two minutes before the whole thing starts. It’s going to get some loud pops in the arena, but there are a lot more fans on the other side of the camera. I will give them this though: Snow did a great job at riling up a crowd like an old school talker can.

Craazy Steve vs. Bram

Bram pulls him out of the corner to start, sending Steve’s head into the buckle. He grabs the mic and says he wants Magnus, stomping at Steve’s head more every time. Steve’s comeback lasts as long as you would expect and an impaler DDT gives Bram the pin at 2:20.

JB says he can’t wrestle but Spud says they’re men and they’re going to be fine.

Gunner asks Angle if he’s sure about teaming with Lashley. Kurt knows he and Lashley are fighting one day and he wants the champ at his best.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Rockstar Spud/Mandrews/Jeremy Borash

Carter, sporting a huge brace on his arm due to a recent surgery, is thinking this week and has cordless clippers to shave some hair. Spud gets right in Carter’s face but Tyrus comes in instead. That goes badly for Spud and Mandrews is thrown down as well so it’s time for JB vs. Carter. Ethan easily pounds Jeremy into the corner and it’s off to Mandrews to take the real beating. Tyrus plants him with the t-bone and now Carter comes in to pick the bones.

The announcers get off topic to talk about the main event tag as carter sends Mandrews face first into the mat. Mandrews fights out of a chinlock and hits an enziguri, allowing for the tag to Spud. Tyrus breaks up the Spud offense with a claw hold but accidentally splashes his boss. A Dudley Dog sends Tyrus to the floor and……Borash goes up top for a dive onto Tyrus! Borash looks dead after landing but still it looked good at the time. Back in and the 1%er is enough to pin Spud at 6:06.

Rating: C. Spud is rapidly growing on me as he keeps getting better and better in the ring and is nailing the Spike Dudley mold of fighting beyond his size. The dive from Borash was more cool than anything else and gave me a little smile. This story continues to live WAY beyond its means and is far more entertaining than it has any right to be. I know Spud is going to lose in the end, but man alive they’re making it fun along the way.

Carter and Tyrus go for the hair but the lights go out and Mr. Anderson appears to take out the heels.

Gunner says he’s ready for the gauntlet but gets beaten down by the BDC.

Here’s Madison to talk about something. Before she can really get going, she keeps getting interrupted by what sounds like a microphone being dropped and stepped on. She says she’s one title reign away from the all time record and no one can beat her. I think you know what’s coming.

Awesome Kong vs. Madison Rayne

Kong splashes her in the corner but misses one in the middle of the ring. That’s the extent of Madison’s luck as the Implant Buster ends her at 1:24.

Aries is in Angle’s locker room and says he tapped out because he has his eyes on the World Title. Angle doesn’t seem to care and again this seemed a bit worthless.

We look back at Jeff Hardy’s injury last week to keep him off the UK tour.

Cue Matt Hardy to give us an update on his brother’s condition. Jeff has taken a lot of risks over the years and given us memories that will last forever. Every time he’s been hurt before, Jeff has always been able to give Matt a little sign that he’s ok and will be back. Last week though, there was nothing from Jeff. This brings out the Revolution so Storm can say that Matt is right.

Storm did what Edge and Christian and Team 3D couldn’t do. Sting, Kurt Angle, Roode, Aries, Lashley or even the Undertaker couldn’t do what he did. He put Jeff Hardy down because heroes only exist because of villains. Matt has two options: join the Revolution or join his brother in the hospital. Matt says Jeff’s hospital bed is pretty nice and the beating is on. Manik puts him in a cross armbreaker and they go for the noose but the Wolves run out for the save.

Aries won’t say when he’s cashing in and gets attacked by the BDC. They even throw him out the door but are nice enough to throw him his briefcase. We actually get a replay of it not thirty seconds later. Apparently throwing him the briefcase is a way for the BDC to attack Lashley as much as they want without worrying about Aries. If they’re beating him down, wouldn’t they be able to see Aries coming? Or they could just, keep the briefcase if its presence is required.

Kurt Angle/Bobby Lashley vs. MVP/Samoa Joe

Ki and King are of course at ringside. Angle and Joe get things going after a break and they trade arm control to start. It’s quickly off to Lashley for a running shoulder to Joe’s ample gut and a hard clothesline. MVP bails from contact and Joe gets in some cheap shots to take over. It’s off to MVP for a running basement dropkick and that’s about it for the leader. Joe runs him over again and King gets in some choking from the floor. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Lashley throws Joe down, allowing for the tag off to Angle. It’s Germans time but the Angle Slam only gets two on Joe.

Everything breaks down and MVP sends Kurt shoulder first into the post for two. We settle down to MVP working over Angle before it’s back to Joe for a weak crossface chicken wing. Angle fights out and makes hot tag the sequel to Lashley. The big delayed vertical suplex drops MVP and a spinebuster gets two. Everything breaks down again and Lashley loads up the spear to Joe but Angle grabs the ankle lock. The distraction lets MVP roll up Lashley with a handful of trunks for the pin at 10:08.

Rating: B-. Nice main event style tag here and it’s clear that MVP is the next major challenger to the title before we get to Angle vs. Lashley in their big showdown. This feels a lot like Reigns vs. Bryan and it’s being done a bit better. It’s a nice three way feud, but MVP really doesn’t need a stable behind him to do this. Just have them all be guys instead of MVP running a group and let them have a feud. Still though, good enough.

Overall Rating: B. TNA is rolling right now and this was another good wrestling show. They’re setting up stories and seem to be paying them off. No it’s not perfect and there are some tweaks that need to be made, but I’m very pleased with what I’m getting at the moment. If nothing else, they’re not cramming 19 segments on one story into a show and are spreading things around a good bit. That being said, I’ve thought this before and TNA has managed to screw it up like no other. Hopefully it lasts a good while though as this has been very entertaining lately.

Results

Bobby Roode b. Austin Aries – Crossface

Bram b. Craazy Steve – Impaler DDT

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud/Mandrews/Jeremy Borash – 1%er to Spud

Awesome Kong b. Madison Rayne – Implant Buster

MVP/Samoa Joe b. Lashley/Kurt Angle – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – February 6, 2015: How To Book A Monster Face

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

As is going to be the case all year it seems, pay per view is no longer an option (save for One Night Only because who can forge that series) so for the first time ever, Lockdown is being offered as a free TV broadcast. The main event is Team Angle vs. the BDC with Angle’s team being down a man as Lashley turned down his offer to join. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts off by focusing on the cage itself before shifting to Roode vs. Young and the Lethal Lockdown main event.

All matches are inside a cage.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. James Storm/Abyss

Storm and Abyss are defending and it’s tornado rules. Matthews says he and Taz are ringside and then they’re shown in their studio in Nashville. So Matthews is a liar. Good to know. The Hardys start fast with Poetry in Motion to both guys but they have to stop to deal with the interfering Manik. They just happen to have a pair of handcuffs to tie him to the top rope but the distraction lets the champs take over. Matt and Jeff are sent into the cage over and over with Matt getting the worse of it as we take a break.

Back with Storm hitting a top rope elbow for two on Matt as frustration is starting to set in for the champions. The Hardys quickly fight back for a double two count but Matt misses a moonsault to Storm. Matt doesn’t seem to mind as he hits a top rope Twist of Fate to drop Storm. Khoya ignores the cage as well and pulls Matt through the camera hole to the floor, which doesn’t count as a win because it wasn’t over the top. Back inside, Jeff hits a Twist on Abyss but Sanada Mists him to break up the Swanton. Storm’s Last Call retains the titles at 13:36.

Rating: C. This was more of a spot fest than a coherent match but that’s what you have to expect for a tornado style match. It’s not that easy to get much of a story going without the need for tags and all those other people interfering in the match. Still though, it had enough big spots to open a show and it’s always good to see the Revolution get a win.

Post match the Revolution puts Matt through a table outside and sets up another in the ring. They unhook Mania, though where they got the key isn’t really clear. Manik misses a top rope splash through the table and Jeff fights off most of the Revolution and climbs up, only to get crotched on the cage door and knocked off onto the steps. This is Jeff’s annual “I can’t go to England” injury angle.

MVP has a special offer for Angle tonight. After a break, MVP, King and Young are in the ring with MVP talking about how dangerous this cage really is. They’re ready to face anyone who stands in their way tonight and Young promises to make Roode bleed tonight. Bobby is offered a chance to walk away but MVP switches to Angle. He wants Kurt to come out here and talk to him face to face for a proposal.

Cue Angle, Gunner and Aries as MVP talks about how all three can walk out of here (they just walked in here though) without getting beaten up again. MVP has talked to Angle’s doctor and that knee is being held together by tape and gum. Has this doctor never heard of privacy laws??? Angle and company say they’re not walking away and the brawl is on. Joe and Low Ki come out to give the BDC an advantage and they crush Gunner’s arm in the cage door. The Clan runs away instead of taking advantage of their numbers advantage.

Video on Havok and Kong dominating the company. I still don’t buy Havok as anywhere near Kong’s level after winning like five matches.

Gunner is checked on in the back but he insists he’s starting the match tonight.

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

They start fighting on the ramp with Kong getting the better of it but being sent into the steps. The bell rings before they’re even in the cage with Kong down on the floor. Kong fights out of the spinebuster slam and sends Havok into the steps for her efforts. The fans think this is better than the Divas, which really isn’t covering a lot of ground.

They finally get inside (the girls, not the fans, in case you’re really thick in the head) and ram heads before Havok kicks her down. It just seems to fire Kong up though and she no sells a chokeslam for good measure. A chokeslam puts Havok down and sets up the Awesome Splash for the pin at 5:48.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting, even though the ending was exactly what I expected. There was no reason to think Havok could go toe to toe with Kong, especially given how short Havok’s run in TNA has been. She debuted what, four months ago, which includes the month they were off TV? Kong looked dominant though and that’s the right idea.

Video on Roode vs. Young. They have to have someone bleed in this.

From two weeks ago, Velvet told Angelina that she was fired and starts crying. Love hugs her and smiles at the news.

Lashley is told Angle is looking for him and the champ says he isn’t hard to find.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Pin or submission only. Roode runs him over to start but eats an elbow to the jaw. The fans already want blood as Eric sends Roode back first into the cage a few times. A belly to belly sets up a chinlock on Roode before a powerslam gets two. Cue MVP with a chair but Roode ducks a big swing. The piledriver is countered into a catapult to send Young into the cage and you can see Eric blade. I really shouldn’t like seeing him in pain this much.

The spinebuster gets two for Bobby and he puts Young on top. A super Roode Bomb is countered with a cage shot and Young’s top rope elbow gets two. Young loads up another elbow onto the chair but Roode gets up and blasts him in the back. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is good for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: D. Well that happened and I still don’t care. At the end of the day, Eric Young isn’t interesting, intimidating, tough, worthy of being in a major story or anything positive that I can think of. This “12 years thrown away” story made my head hurt as these two barely associated for years and the whole “Roode owns Young and makes his life miserable” period is conveniently forgotten. Just get Young back to the comedy jobber guy he’s been for years so I don’t have to put up with this any longer.

Lashley turns Angle down again so Kurt throws him against the wall and tells him to wake up.

The announcers debate the upcoming Top 5.

Mandrews/Rockstar Spud vs. Tyrus

Tyrus easily shrugs off a double teaming to start and shoves both guys into corners. A double Tongan Death Grip has them in trouble but they come back with a double dropkick to the face and then more to the chest. An enziguri is good for one but Spud escapes a powerbomb and climbs all the way to the top of the cage. With a middle finger to Carter, Spud hits a HUGE flip dive to take Tyrus down and Ethan is stunned.

Carter gets up and spits at Mandrews, tricking him into coming out of the cage. Carter trips him up on the way out, sending Mandrews’ head into the steps to make this one on one. Spud is distracted from covering and gets the cage door slammed on his head, setting up a Tongan slam and Asiatic Spike to the neck for the pin on Spud at 5:44.

Rating: C. That big flip and Carter’s facials make this match work better, even though Mandrews really didn’t need to be in the match. I’m digging this feud way more than I was expecting to and I’m actually believing Spud could pull off the upset and beat Carter, even though that wouldn’t make a ton of sense.

Carter goes to shave Spud’s head but JB unplugs his clippers.

We look at Hardy being hurt “moments ago” and say there’s no update.

Roode talks about the fifteen years he’s known Eric and says he made Young bleed, just like he promised. They were best friends but now it’s all gone and it’s time to move on.

Earlier tonight, Robbie E. challenged Brooke to a competition to determine who lost the Amazing Race. They had a dizzy bat challenge before climbing the cage and getting back out with the winner crossing a finish line. Robbie almost won but spent too much time taking a picture, allowing Brooke to hit him low and win. This was heavily clipped instead of showing the full thing.

Team Angle vs. Beat Down Clan

Kurt Angle, Gunner, Austin Aries, ???

MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe, Low Ki

Lethal Lockdown, meaning two men start for two minutes and then a team (determined by a coin toss) gets to send in its second man. After two minutes the team that lost the coin toss gets to send in its second man to tie things up for two minutes. The teams continue to alternate until all participants are in when it’s first pinfall or submission wins. There are weapons provided inside the cage for the duration of the match this year, as opposed to them not coming down until the last man enters in previous editions.

King and Gunner get things going with Kenny going after the injured arm. Gunner whips him into the cage and blasts him in the back of the head with a trashcan lid to keep King in trouble. He chokes King with a nightstick but Low Ki comes in to make it 2-1. They’re already going quickly through this match.A big trashcan lid shot to Gunner’s head gives the BDC control and King holds him for kicks to the chest. The beating continues until Austin Aries comes in for the tie. Austin immediately starts speeding things up and blasts King in the ribs with the nightstick.

Gunner opts for a tennis racket (cue the Jim Cornette reference from Taz) but it’s Samoa Joe to give the BDC another advantage. More weapons shots have Team Angle in trouble as this is getting very repetitive, just like almost all Lethal Lockdown matches. Angle ties it up again and takes a hockey stick to his ribs upon entry. Kurt doesn’t seem to mind and German suplexes Joe before rolling Kenny up out of instinct. Team Angle gets beaten down with more weapons shots until MVP completes the BDC.

Pins and submissions are allowed now as all the announced wrestlers are in. Back from a break with the BDC destroying everyone in sight with quadruple teaming. Angle finally gets back up and blasts them with the trashcan lid. The comeback is short lived though as the BDC destroys them again….and here’s Lashley. This would be more exciting if TNA hadn’t shown him appearing four times now in their previews for next week.

He extends his hand to MVP but doesn’t let go, pulling the leader into a clothesline. Lashley cleans house but gets taken down into the corner and choked out by MVP. Angle counters Joe’s Muscle Buster into the ankle lock as Gunner Gun Racks King and Aries puts Ki in the Last Chancery. Lashley spears MVP down for the pin at 20:23.

Rating: C+. Bobby Lashley is exactly what Roman Reigns should be. He’s big, he’s strong, he runs through people, and he barely ever speaks because his actions do all his talking for him. I’ve had a lot of fun watching Lashley break people in half over the last few months and he’s far more entertaining than Reigns more often than not. Put Reigns on a roll like this and build it as a clash of the titans against Lesnar and I’d want to see it. Some guys just don’t need to have a really detailed character and both Lashley and Reigns fit that mold.

The rest of the match was just there and followed the format of almost every single Lethal Lockdown match in history, minus the big spot on top. You knew it wasn’t going to really crank up until the end of the match which makes the first seventeen minutes or so pretty dull stuff. I can only see a trashcan lid to the back of the head to change momentum so many times.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a decent enough show but as usual, most of these matches don’t need to be inside a cage. This is very similar to the Elimination Chamber or Hell in a Cell PPV: the calendar alone said these matches had to be in cages and there really wasn’t a reason for a lot of them to be under these rules. Look at Kong vs. Havok and see that the cage didn’t change a thing. The Hardy bump could have been done off the top rope for the same ending and Spud could have hit the same move off the top rope. Only the main event required a cage and it didn’t really change much. Decent show but not necessary.

Results

James Storm/Abyss b. Hardys – Last Call to Jeff

Awesome Kong b. Havok – Awesome Splash

Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb onto a chair

Tyrus b. Mandrews/Rockstar Spud – Asiatic Spike to Spud

Team Angle b. Beat Down Clan – Spear to MVP

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Impact Wrestling – January 16, 2015: Here We Go Again

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 16, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

This is the debut on Fridays which will be their regular night. The big story coming out of last week is Lashley taking the World Title back from Bobby Roode and what appeared to be the formation of another heel stable as Eric Young turned on Roode and seemed to join forces with MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe and Low Ki. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s four title matches with Aries and Lashley winning the X-Division and World Titles respectfully.

Josh is in the control room and says we’re going to see this show in a way we’ve never seen before. It’s going to be more interactive and behind the scenes than ever before. Taz thinks the idea sounds cool. The two of them will be in various locations throughout the night.

Roode says nothing is more important than the title and Eric Young cost him the belt last week. He doesn’t know why, but he wants Eric Young one on one tonight. They kept this simple and Roode sold the intensity very well.

Here are MVP, Joe, Low Ki, King and a woman I don’t recognize. Taz and Josh are in a booth and are shown on a split screen. MVP says you can’t keep a good man down and after a quick lane changes, he’s right back in the driver’s seat. He’s always known it was him against the world since the day he started wrestling. He knew he had to surround himself with people he knew, so he went to the family. These men traveled the roads with him 500 miles a day for a hot dog and a handshake. They are known as the Beat Down Clan and they’re “nobody to F….mess with.”

MVP introduces Young but emphasizes that he is not part of the BDC. The fans tell Eric that he sold out, but he’s all serious and says that doesn’t matter. Young, with a haircut, says MVP did something for his family that made Eric change his opinion. Eric had a brother once. He took care of Roode and even gave him one of the first title shots. Where was his title shot when Roode won the belt? Maybe Roode was afraid of losing again, because Young is a world class man and friend. When Young was laid up, he only got a text message from Roode, but MVP called him up and told him the truth.

MVP says he planted a seed in Young and it grew to a sequoia. Now it’s time for the World Champ, but Lashley doesn’t come out to his music. MVP introduces him again but gets Kurt Angle in wrestling gear, sporting a big knee brace. He says Young is going to pay for his sins tonight when Roode gets his hands on him. Angle promises to make every one of them tap. Joe gets out of the ring and gets right in Kurt’s face but gets a punch to the jaw. The entire BDC gets in his face but security breaks it up. Angle wants Joe right now and apparently that’s good enough.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

This is joined in progress after a break with Joe working on the knee and slapping on a leg bar. He switches it up to something like a figure four as we go split screen to see a producer trying to find Lashley but there’s no one in his dressing room. Angle escapes the hold and starts rolling the Germans. Joe shrugs it off and hits the corner enziguri, only to have the Clutch countered into the ankle lock. That’s quickly escaped as well but the Angle Slam (what knee injury?) gets two. There’s the ankle lock again but this time the roll through takes out the referee. A low blow sets up the Clutch and Angle taps at 6:15 shown.

Rating: C-. It really amazes me how fast TNA can go from establishing a new hero (well as new as Angle can be) to having him lose in the middle of the ring. No it wasn’t clean, but couldn’t they have made this wait a bit longer? TNA seems terrified of the idea of building up a hero and this felt like even more of the same for yet another heel stable.

The BDC comes in to beat down Angle but Roode makes the save with a chair.

Back from a break with Roode sitting in the ring in the chair. He says this has already gone too far, which the fans agree with due to their ROODE GOT SCREWED chant. He’s been here a long time and this ring is his home. Roode may live for wrestling, but tonight in New York City, this is about payback. Another short but intense promo from Roode.

Taz and Matthews are in the booth again to talk about Impact: Unlocked tomorrow morning about 10am. This is a behind the scenes look at TNA, including power rankings and special features like this. We see an interview with Magnus, talking about doing this to provide for his family. His son looks up at him and he wants to make him proud. Another clip says he’d be fine with being a free agent in a market like this.

We look at JB getting his hair shaved last week.

Spud apologizes to JB but Borash isn’t really upset. He knows Carter will get what’s coming to him one day.

The Revolution is in a balcony to watch the next match.

Hardys vs. Wolves

Winners get a title shot against the Revolution. Matt and Eddie get things going with the Hardys quickly taking over, allowing for a tag to Jeff (big reaction). A nice headscissors takes Davey down and a double belly to back suplex gets two. The Hardys hit clotheslines from either side but everything breaks down and the Wolves send both Hardys into opposite corners with Matt getting tied in the Tree of Woe.

A drop toehold from Eddie sets up an elbow to the back from Davey for two. Davey fires off the kicks in the corner but misses the top rope stomp, allowing Matt to hit the Side Effect. It’s off to Jeff vs. Eddie as everything breaks down again. The Wolves throw Matt to the floor but he DDTs both guys down. Jeff is next to a different corner so he walks across the top rope (think Old School or Elix Skipper’s cage walk) to get to the other corner and dive on everyone else.

Back in and the Swanton hits Eddie’s knees and ReDRagon’s Chasing the Dragon (with a Falcon’s Arrow instead of a brainbuster) gets two on Jeff. The Hardys make a blind tag and Eddie takes another Side Effect. Jeff gets crotched on top and Eddie hits a Twist of Fate for two but Jeff Swantons in for the save. Poetry in Motion hits Eddie and the Twisting Stunner sets up an elevated Twisting Stunner for the pin at 10:00.

Rating: B. This was really entertaining and good if you don’t mind your tag match having almost no tagging. It got a lot better near the end but I could go for other teams besides the Hardys getting title shots. I can live with it though as long as it doesn’t lead to Jeff vs. Matt again.

Next week is Feast or Fired and Bram says he’s going to feast.

Eric Young is worried about Roode coming for revenge.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus take over the production booth. Carter: “Ground control to major bald please.” They want the cameras on Jeremy Borash and we see his mostly bald head. Carter knows JB thinks he’s Heisenberg and tough now, so how about they have a match next week. JB has thirty minutes to decide.

Lashley has arrived.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

No DQ and it’s a brawl in the aisle to start. Taz sums up the feud in simple terms: “The guy in the green screwed over the guy in the black and the guy in the black is ticked.” Back from a break with the fight in the crowd and a split screen showing Lashley going into his dressing room with no comment. Young takes it back to ringside and stomps on Roode’s head before chopping him against the barricade. Eric Young just looking all stoic doesn’t make me care about him TNA.

More forearms stop Roode’s comeback attempt, because Heaven forbid a good guy gets the crowd going. Two chairs are brought in and Young puts one in the corner. Back in and Roode fires off some right hands before nailing a nice spinebuster. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is countered and Young sends him head first into the corner chair. A piledriver onto the chair is enough to pin Roode at 10:11.

Rating: C. I could barely see a good chunk of the match but more importantly, TNA WILL YOU FREAKING LET A HERO LAST MORE THAN A FEW WEEKS??? Stop turning everything over to the heels over and over and over and over and over. It’s been nearly thirteen years of this same stuff and it’s gotten them onto the same network as Bathroom Kings (yes that’s really a show). Is a hero that doesn’t have to job to Eric Young so much to ask for?

MVP comes out and says maybe someone will visit Roode in the hospital.

Aries says it’s a battle to keep his X-Division Title tonight. If you back him into a corner, he’s going to get really dangerous.

We recap last week’s battle royal with Awesome Kong returning for the showdown with Havok. Again, Havok winning like five matches doesn’t make her Kong’s equal.

Brooke is mad about what Robbie said after how he performed on the Amazing Race.

Brooke Adams/Taryn Terrell vs. Beautiful People

All three BroMans are at ringside. DJZ takes a quick picture and we instantly see it on screen. He’s no Tyler Breeze. Adams hammers away on Angelina to start before taking Velvet down by the arm. Terrell comes in for a suplex and the Beautiful People are “dropkicked” to the outside, setting up Taryn’s bit dive to take out everyone on the floor. Back in and a middle rope clothesline drops Velvet, but Robbie gets on the apron to distract Brooke, letting Velvet grab a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 2:30.

Post match Kong appears to destroys the Beautiful People and DJZ. Havok comes out for the showdown but security breaks it up.

JB turns down Carter’s challenge but Carter says JB is TNA. He should take the challenge because no one respect him. JB snaps and says he’ll fight Ethan next week.

Taz and Josh are going to preview something for next week. I’m not sure about this studio thing as it makes me feel like I’m watching a recap show. It’s not bad but it’s going to take some getting used to.

Manik tells a camera to follow him. They go to see James Storm, who tells Manik to leave them. Storm says it’s time for the world to be introduced to his newest disciple: Koya (formerly Mahabali Shera). Koya means lost in Hindi, but now Koya has been found. Next week, the world will see what he is capable of. The guy looks good if nothing else.

Video on Feast or Fired. It’s something like Money in the Bank with four briefcases, one for a shot at every title (other than the Knockouts) and one with a pink slip.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Austin Aries

The BDC is at ringside. Aries took the title from Low Ki last week. The champ starts fast by backdropping Low Ki over the top but Ki’s feet get caught in the ropes to make the crash even worse. Back in and Aries gets two off the Pendulum Elbow and the Last Chancery sends Ki running for the ropes. Low Ki bails to the floor for a breather and meeting with the BDC. Why not just have them interfere now to give Ki the title? You know it’s coming because they’re a heel stable and therefore they have to win titles.

The advice works as Aries’ suplex is countered with Low Ki dropping him over the ropes. A big chop gets two but also ticks Aries off, causing him to fire off even harder chops of his own. The discus forearm sets up the running corner dropkick, but Ki knees out of the brainbuster. Austin crushes the knee and hooks the Last Chancery, only to have the BDC get on the apron. The referee misses Ki tapping out and the BDC gets on the apron, with MVP crotching Aries. Ki gets up and Ki Crushes his way to the title at 6:48.

Rating: C+. Why would you want to be a face in this company? You might get to hold a title for a few weeks, but at the end of the day, this company is about heels ruling everything around and long stories with them on top instead of letting anyone stand up as a hero. Also, well done on throwing titles around again. That’s always a good idea.

The BDC is still in the ring (of course) and call out Lashley. The champ comes out this time and MVP takes credit for everything Lashley has done. He makes the mistake of saying the title belongs to the BDC but Lashley isn’t cool with that. MVP says Lashley owes the team some thanks but Lashley turns to walk away.

MVP goes to stop him but Lashley tells Hassan (MVP’s real first name) to let him go. That’s ok with MVP, who brings up their time together in WWE. He wants one hug for the road though, which Lashley reluctantly gives. MVP kisses him on the cheek and the beatdown is on. Lashley gets hit in the face with the belt and MVP leaves with the title.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting really, really sick of heel stables, especially when you can almost guarantee they’ll be in power by March. This is all TNA does and it’s almost all they’ve done since they debuted. I’m tired of being told to wait and see where it goes, because it ALWAYS GOES THE EXACT SAME WAY.

Look what we had here: one story dominating about 80% of this show, the heels completely dominating the entire show, and most of the heroes getting beaten down. This is after Dixie’s reign of terror, which came after the Aces and 8’s, which came after Immoral. It just never ends and TNA makes it harder and harder to want to stick with them every single week.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Kurt Angle – Koquina Clutch

Hardys b. Wolves – Elevated Twisting Stunner to Edwards

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver onto a chair

Beautiful People b. Brooke Adams/Taryn Terrell – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Low Ki b. Austin Aries – Ki Crusher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – December 24, 2014: Business As Usual

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Don West
Hosts: Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash

This is the final episode of Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV before they head over to Destination America early in the new year. It’s also the second half of the Top Twenty Moments countdown, which hopefully is capped off by someone who still works for this company. Let’s get to it.

#10. Impact – February 19, 2009

Kurt Angle vs. Sting

Empty arena match for control of the Main Event Mafia. With no one there, of course they come out to their music. Sting throws Angle outside to start and they hit that wall that they always hit in brawls. Angle goes nuts with right hands and you can hear the grunting. They go up into the empty seats as this is one of those “let’s walk around and not really do much” matches. Angle walks him back up into the seats and somehow the cameras can’t follow them, despite there being no one to get around.

Sting dumps Angle over a balcony but Kurt comes back with a metal trashcan. Kurt: “I HATE YOU!” We see some fans watching in the concourse as I realize there’s no reason given for this to be an empty arena match. A low blow puts Sting down and Angle swears a bit. Sting pops up with a chair to the back but Angle begs off a beating from a chair. He swears that he’s sorry and says he has kids, only to change his mind and tell Sting to hit him. Nash and Steiner finally come in to break it up with Nash shouting to MAKE IT RIGHT. They shake hands but start fighting again, shouting how much they hate each other.

Rating: D-. Again, why was this an empty arena match? It didn’t make a ton of sense when it was Rock vs. Mankind and it really doesn’t make a ton of sense here. As usual, it felt like Russo trying to do something to make a splash instead of making sense, which is eventually going to be exposed for the shock TV that it is.

#9. Impact – October 8, 2014.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves

The Wolves are defending and this is Full Metal Mayhem, meaning TLC. Richards has a somewhat bad leg coming into this but he seems to be fine. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Matt hitting what looked like the Side Effect to Eddie on the apron. Bully hammers on Jeff on the floor as weapons are being sets up on the floor. Matt goes for a climb but Ray comes in for a save with a Rock Bottom.

Davey breaks up Ray’s attempt and DDTs him, only to have D-Von nail Richards a second later. Matt gets enziguried into a German suplex onto a pair of open chairs. Eddie throws Jeff into the air and Ray catches him in a Cutter for a 3D. They chop it out but Matt is back up to take both guys down. We get the Tower of Doom with Ray electric chairing Matt who superplexes Edwards. D-Von bridges a piece of barricade between the apron and some overturned steps but Davey headbutts him onto the barricade.

Ray saves his partner from a dive and powerbombs Richards down, only to miss a middle rope backsplash. He comes right back with another powerbomb to send Richards onto the barricade, giving Richards one of the most shocked looks I’ve ever seen. Back with Jeff taking a ladder to the face and D-Von cleans house with a chair.

Richards comes back with a chair of his own but this time it’s Jeff popping up to take over. The Whisper in the Wind and Swanton have Ray in trouble but he pops right back up for a brawl with Jeff on the floor. The Twisting Stunner has Ray in trouble and Jeff brings out another table. He bridges it between the turned over steps and the apron with the legs up. Jeff misses the legdrop though and crashes through the table, leaving him in a huge heap on the floor.

Back in and Ray goes up, only to have Edwards set up a ladder of his own next to it. Bully kicks him down but Matt comes in with a ladder of his own. All three go up and slug it out with Edwards getting slammed off the top. Mat and Ray grab for the belts but send them swinging around before knocking each other off with Matt flying into a ladder.

Davey and Matt slug it out with Hardy getting the better of it and bringing in another table. Everyone heads outside again with Matt climbing about halfway up a huge ladder to legdrop Davey through a table. Richards has taken one heck of a beating here. D-Von cleans house with the ladder and brings in the big ladder to make thing even more fun. Team 3D loads up What’s Up but Edwards shoves D-Von to the floor.

Davey goes up the big ladder but gets shoved onto the floor and head first into the barricade. The Hardys make another save with chairs and put Ray on two tables. Jeff goes up top of the big ladder but Davey shoves it over, sending Hardy into a HUGE splash onto Ray for a horrible looking crash. Davey and Matt slug it out on top of the ladder but Edwards makes a save and powerbombs Matt through a table, allowing Davey to take down the belts for the win at 23:52.

Rating: A. I came into this show thinking this match wasn’t going to be able to live up to its hype and they got me. This was an AWESOME match with a ton of high spots and some insane looking bumps. The fact that they didn’t save this for Bound For Glory shows you just how much they don’t care about that show this year. Excellent match and one of the best things TNA has done in years.

#8. Slammiversary 2013.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Last Knockout standing. Gail attacks in the corner to start but Taryn comes back with clotheslines to take over. Gail puts on an octopus hold but lets it go early and only gets a six count. Kim goes to the floor for a chair but has it kicked out of her hands. Some hair drags keep Gail down for a few moments but she manages to get the chair up to block a high cross body. Gail is up first and goes after the knee for a bit before wedging the chair between the ropes. Taryn blocks a ram into the chair but gets caught in the Figure Four around the post.

Terrell is up at 8 and dodges Gail’s charge into the corner, sending her head first into the chair in a SICK looking crash. That only gets eight so Taryn puts her in the Figure Four around the post for eight more. Taryn misses a charge and lands on the ramp for nine, only to be caught in a legsweep onto the ramp for nine more. Gail tries a piledriver but gets reversed into a bulldog off the ramp to put both girls down. Taryn beats the count for the win at 9:18.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in YEARS. The bulldog off the stage was a bigger spot but the missed charge into the chair should have been the finish. It looked MUCH more painful and I thought Gail was out cold. Still though, very entertaining match and I was really impressed with Taryn here. I’d bet on her vs. Mickie at BFG for the title in a veteran vs. underdog title match.

#7. Impact – January 4, 2010.

It’s 9pm so here’s Hulk in black. Brooke is of course in the front row. Hogan immediately puts over the roster and the locker room for working as hard as they have. Now we get the infamous line from this promo: “I’ve been in the back all day.” Remember that this is after AN HOUR OF WATCHING HIM DRIVE TO THE BUILDING. That line was edited out of the rebroadcast of the show and it’s painful to hear all over again.

Hogan talks about how many new and familiar faces there are here. As he’s talking, Hall and Waltman try to get to the ring. Hogan says give them a mic and let them get in the ring. Hall and Hogan do the Wolfpack sign and Hall says the party is back. The boss tells him that’s not how it works anymore. Waltman thinks it’s the same people so it’s the same party, but Hogan shoots him down too. In a laughable line, Hogan says it’s time to grow up.

Hall says everything is changing, with or without Hogan. Wait so is everything changing or is everything the same? Nash comes out and wants to know what’s going on, but Hulk insists he’s not playing a role. Hogan says they need to do this FOR REAL because it’s a different time. Hall and Waltman are ready to fight but Eric Bischoff debuts and says they reinvented this business. Dixie Carter is shown watching from the crowd.

Bischoff says this is all about communication and that has broken down recently. Everyone has to earn their position in this company, which Nash hears loud and clear. Nash, Hall and Waltman leave and Bischoff again claims that they can change the business again. Hogan says they’ve shuffled the deck as Dixie cautiously applauds. Bischoff rips up the format sheet to show how different things are going to be. He hands the producer a new format because they’re turning this company upside down. So this basically boiled down to the same “this is new” promo that every indy company starts with.

In storyline development, Shera makes it to the top of a hill where Sotrm is waiting with a jug of water. Storm pours it on top of him and welcomes Shera to the Revolution.

#6. Impact – January 9, 2014.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Magnus

No DQ and both guys are champion coming in. Magnus immediately goes to the floor and does it again for a second time in less than ninety seconds. No contact yet. Magnus gets back in but here are Ethan Carter and Spud to jump AJ before any contact is made. AJ fights them off and superkicks Magnus in the ribs but Carter breaks up a Styles Clash attempt. Sting finally comes out for the save but doesn’t do anything as AJ saves himself. Magnus bails to the floor and we take a break.

Back with the two champions still not making contact as the Bro Mans and Zema Ion come out to jump Sting and AJ and giving us six run-ins in less than eight minutes. Zema DDTs AJ and the Bro Down gets a delayed two on Styles. Sting comes back in as Magnus just chills at ringside. The Brit finally comes back in and AJ quickly loads up the Clash, only to have Bad Influence make the save and lay him out with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo.

Earl Hebner refuses to count so Dixie and Brian Hebner get us to ELEVEN people coming out for this match. Bad Influence goes High/Low on AJ for two and Brian gets yelled at. Sting lays out the Bro Mans with a double Death Drop on the floor before putting Ion in the Deathlock. AJ fights back against Bad Influence as Sting comes in to help even more. We’re down to Magnus vs. AJ with Styles getting the Calf Killer, only to have Kazarian take out the referee.

Kazarian monkey flips AJ into Daniels but AJ clotheslines him down and Peles Kaz. Now the Styles Clash takes out Magnus but there’s no referee. Earl Hebner hobbles back out (we’ll call that #12) to count two before AJ dives over the top to take out Bad Influence yet again. AJ goes up top but Bobby Roode makes it #13 by shoving Styles into the ropes. Three AA/DVDs lay AJ out for about the fifth time, giving Magnus the pin (thanks to referee #3 and the fourteenth person added to the match) and the undisputed title at 15:47. Sting was being held back by most of the heels in case you were wondering.

Rating: D. So they spent all night hyping up the match before going full Russo on it. That’s what we spent months and months building to? The match was definitely energetic but we really had to spend all this time setting up Dixie with her corporate champion? Assuming AJ leaving isn’t a HUGE swerve, this was one of the biggest wastes of time I can remember in years.

#5. Impact Wrestling – January 17, 2013.

Are they kidding???

It’s wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here’s Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully’s hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other.

No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister. Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it’s too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8’s vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face to end the show.

So quick recap here. There are four moments left and we have the following to go off the top of my head:

Kurt Angle debuts

AJ Styles wins the World Title at No Surrender 2009

Unbreakable triple threat

Elix Skipper walks the cage

Angle vs. Joe from Genesis 2006

ANYTHING from before October 2007

Somehow they’re going to screw up something as simple as “hey, does anyone remember any great matches from the last twelve years?”

#4. Impact – November 3, 2011.

TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start as they’re playing up the idea that they know each other very well. Off to a test of strength which doesn’t last long. Neither guy has an advantage as we go to a break. Back with Storm ramming shoulders into Roode in the corner. They keep countering each other and Roode can’t get much of an advantage. Storm stays ahead with a superplex but both guys are down.

They slug it out and Storm takes over with some running shots. Blockbuster gets two for Roode. Backstabber gets two for the champ. Eye of the Storm is countered into a spinebuster for two. They head to the floor and both guys barely get back inside in time. Storm tries an Orton DDT but gets countered into a Crossface. Storm makes a rope and Roode is frustrated. Roode tries a superplex but Storm counters into a top rope elbow for two.

This is getting good. Last Call misses as Roode grabs the fisherman’s suplex. Storm counters that and is almost sent into the referee. The referee avoids the contact but twists his knee in the process as Roode is sent to the floor. Roode succumbs to the demons inside and grabs the beer bottle which he breaks over Storm’s head to BIG heat. It gives him the world title at 17:40.

Rating: B. This was a very solid match that could have easily main evented a PPV with about five minutes extra. Still though, good stuff here and that’s what they needed to do. I’m really not sure I like the ending but it’s TNA after all so how good can it get? The heel turn was needed, but Roode is going to have to step up his emotions as a heel to deserve this spot. Good match though.

#3. Unbreakable

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is the longest reigning champion ever at this point, AJ is a four time champion and Joe is undefeated. This is TNA’s greatest match ever so let’s see if it holds up. AJ and Joe team up to beat down Daniels to start which is kind of a surprising move. Joe kicks him HARD in the back and AJ does the same thing. It turns into a contest and I think Joe wins by a hair. Daniels gets up but Joe kicks him in the face. Cool sequence.

AJ grabs a fast rollup on Joe and we’re ready to get going. They trade pinfall attempts so fast that I can’t type them until Joe hooks a modified Rings of Saturn. Daniels breaks it up and kicks AJ down for no cover. Joe chops the champ and hits a standing enziguri to knock him to the floor. AJ takes Joe down but Daniels is back in to take over on Styles, getting two. Joe chops them both in the corner but Daniels fires back with chops of his own.

Styles headscissors both guys down into opposite corners and fires off kicks at Joe. Joe is like screw that and suplexes him down overhead style. There’s the Facewash to Styles but Daniels breaks up the running kick to the face. Daniels hits a springboard moonsault onto Joe on the floor but you know AJ has to top him, so he hits a springboard shooting star to take both guys down. He rolls Joe back in for two and things slow down a tiny bit.

Actually scratch that as Styles hits the drop down/dropkick combo for two. Daniels comes back in again and monkey flips AJ at Joe but AJ twists in mid air into a rana on the fat man. Daniels O’Connor rolls Styles for two and then launches him over the top and out to the floor. A flying knee sends Joe into the corner and Daniels slaps him in the face. Joe will have none of that and slaps Daniels back but Daniels rolls him up for two.

Joe counters the rollup into the Clutch so Styles busts out Spiral Tap to break up the hold. That gets two on both guys and Daniels sends Styles back to the floor. An STO puts Joe down but AJ breaks up the BME. I feel like I’m talking to a 3 year old after that last exchange with all the spelling. Daniels gets caught in the Tree of Woe and AJ kicks away, but Joe splashes AJ into Daniels. A running dropkick to the face breaks the Tree and Daniels is out.

The running big boot that Joe does knocks AJ’s head into Tallahassee somewhere and the backsplash gets two. Daniels comes back out of nowhere and hits the Death Valley Driver on Joe. Everyone is down until Daniels covers Joe for two. AJ gets sent to the floor and both he and Daniels miss moonsaults. They slug it out so Joe hits a corkscrew plancha to take both guys down. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Back in and Daniels breaks up the MuscleBuster but Styles goes up too. AJ and Daniels fight on the top so Joe backdrops both of them down at the same time.

Joe gets up first and he looks MAD. He and AJ slug it out with AJ taking over but Joe slugs him right back and hits a big old German release suplex to take over. There’s the MuscleBuster but Daniels comes in with the belt. He charges at Joe but the Samoan hits a snap powerslam to cut that off. Joe picks the belt up but Daniels kicks it into his face. Daniels and AJ slug it out and that just feels appropriate. A blue thunder bomb out of nowhere gets two on Styles.

Release Rock Bottom puts AJ down and the BME gets two as Joe makes the save. Daniels puts a Dragon Sleeper on Joe and hooks the Last Rites (rolling cutter which he didn’t use that often) to send Joe to the floor again. AJ bounces back up and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up but Daniels hits a palm strike to stop him. Daniels superplexes him down but he can’t cover. Joe comes in and covers both guys for two.

Joe focuses on Daniels and hits his powerbomb into the Boston Crab into the STF sequence so he can call a LONG spot to Daniels. Daniels (wearing a wedding ring) gets the rope so Joe beats up AJ a bit more. He fires off forearms but AJ snaps off the Pele to take over again. The Rack into a neckbreaker gets two for Styles but Daniels is back up. AJ hits a sunset flip into the Clash but Joe makes the save at two. Daniels ducks a charging Joe to send him tot he floor. AJ and Daniels slug it out and Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings. AJ counters into a bridging backdrop and stays on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. Yeah that’s the easy answer but there’s no real other option to go with here. This was about twenty three minutes long and the longest they go without action is maybe 20 seconds. These three have incredible chemistry together and it was a great example of what smaller guys can do. It’s not the best match in TNA history by a mile but it’s the best match by a few feet. Great match.

#2. Bound For Glory 2010.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson beat D’Angelo Dinero and Hardy and Angle went to a time limit draw, forcing the three way. Hardy debuts new music which should tell you a lot. Anderson gets double teamed to start but Kurt is sent out to the floor. Angle comes back in and throws Jeff to the floor so he can kick at Anderson’s knee in the corner. A release overhead belly to belly gets two on Mr. with Hardy making a save. Jeff gets back into it and picks up Anderson, so Angle Germans both guys at the same time.

Anderson goes outside for the first time but Jeff backdrops Angle up and over the top for a bad landing. Thankfully he’s ok enough to pull Anderson out to the floor for a brawl, but Hardy dives over the top to put everyone down. Back in and Kurt puts Anderson in a chinlock until Jeff makes a save. He goes up top very slowly though, allowing Angle to run the corner for the belly to belly. Jeff pops back up, only to miss the Swanton on Anderson and give Kurt a near fall. Dixie Carter is watching at ringside.

Angle loads up a superplex but Andeson turns it into a Tower of Doom for two on both guys. It’s Angle up first to roll some Germans on Anderson before doing the same on Hardy. He wants to keep things together so there’s an ankle lock to both guys at the same time. Angle goes up top but Anderson’s ankle is fine enough for the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Hardy breaks it up with a Swanton for two on both guys.

Back up and Anderson goes up, only to get caught in a belly to back superplex to give Kurt a near fall. Whisper in the Wind puts Angle down and there’s a Twist of Fate to Anderson. The Swanton crushes Mr. but Angle grabs Jeff’s ankle. Anderson breaks it up with the Mic Check for two on Kurt and everyone gets two off a rollup. Kurt actually hits the moonsault for two on Hardy, who falls out of the ring. Angle escapes the Mic Check but accidentally clotheslines the referee. Everyone knows the big THEY reveal is coming.

Anderson hits the Mic Check on Angle but can’t follow up. This brings out Eric Bischoff with a chair but Hogan comes out (I’m as shocked as you are) before he can swing it. Hulk is on crutches and moving pretty slowly as we have to wait even longer. Bischoff throws the chair down but takes away a crutch. Hardy gets back in to calm things down but Hogan hands him his crutch.

Jeff squares off with Bischoff….and breaks the crutch over Angle’s back. Hogan smiles and Bischoff says that was awesome. Hogan points at Hardy and hugs Eric as they watch Hardy break the other crutch over Anderson’s back. The Twist of Fate is enough to pin Anderson and give Hardy the title.

Rating: B-. The match is good but this was ALL about the booking and big swerve at the end. Hogan and Bischoff weren’t really surprises so it was all down to who was going to side with the new mega heel faction. Hardy winning the title is fine and the best option given who was in there.

Bischoff introduces Jeff as the new World Champion and a smiling Jeff Jarrett comes out. Abyss follows them out and hugs Hogan. Fans throw trash in the ring ala the NWO debut (there were rumors this was planted) as RVD comes out to ask Jeff what he’s doing. Hardy lays him out with a belt shot and poses with THEY to end the show.

Quick recap of the top ten.

And now, I kid you not, this is considered the #1 moment all time in TNA wrestling history.

#1. Impact – August 7, 2014

Here’s all of Dixie’s team but she fires Stephens and Snitsky like the maniac she is. Cue Team 3D and Dreamer with a table but Dixie hides behind everyone she’s paid off. Ray promises to put Dixie through a table and Dreamer says Dixie is everything that’s wrong with this business. Mo nails Dreamer and the brawl is on with the ECW guys taking over. Suddenly Dixie is alone in the ring with 3D but runs when she’s about to take 3D.

Spud swears it’s never going to happen but the entire locker room comes out to throw Dixie to the wolves (Team 3D, not Richards/Edwards). D-Von loads her up (and grabs her in a rather personal spot) and Bully powerbombs Dixie off the middle rope through the table, in what I believe was Dixie’s first bump ever. We even get Bully’s old euphoric look and the announcers are WAY too happy to see this.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I have no problem with a heel, male or female, taking a big bump to end a story. What I’m not wild on is how everything was announced in advance. This is going to cause some issues in the mainstream media given how violent it was, but that’s the nature of pro wrestling. It felt very scripted though and that’s not a good thing, but the ending was exactly what it should have been.

Here’s the entire top 20 in case you didn’t catch last week.

20. Angle vs. Joe – Lockdown 2008
19. Aries vs. Roode – Destination X 2012
18. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money – Victory Road 2010
17. WOO Off – Impact – July 7, 2010
16. Ultimate X – Bound For Glory 2009
15. Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy – Lockdown 2013
14. Knockouts Title Gauntlet Match – Bound For Glory 2007
13. Karen Angle marries Jeff Jarrett – Impact – March 3, 2011
12. Lashley vs. Roode II – October 29, 2014
11. Sting vs. Hogan – Bound For Glory 2011
10. Sting vs. Angle – Impact – February 19, 2009 (Empty Arena Match)
9. Impact – October 8, 2014 – Team 3D vs. Wolves vs. Hardys (Full Metal Mayhem)
8. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell – Slammiversary 2013 (Last Knockout Standing)
7. Hogan and Bischoff Debut – Impact – January 4, 2010
6. AJ Styles vs. Magnus – Impact – January 9, 2014
5. Bully Ray marries Brooke Hogan – Impact Wrestling – January 17, 2013
4. James Storm vs. Bobby Roode – Impact – November 3, 2011
3. Styles vs. Joe vs. Daniels – Unbreakable
2. Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson – Bound For Glory 2010
1. Dixie Carter Goes Through A Table – Impact – August 7, 2014

Overall Rating: C-. I’m just talking about the top ten this week. While last week’s had some funny moments that felt more like honorable mentions than anything else, this week had some incredibly bizarre picks. First off though, let’s knock out the ones that make sense and that I have no issue with. #9 is fine and was pretty easily one of TNA’s best matches of the year. #8 might be the best Knockouts match ever. #7 is indeed huge for TNA. #4, #3 and #2 are all fine either for importance, quality and hype respectfully.

Then on the other side, what in the world is the empty arena match doing on here? Yeah it’s Sting vs. Angle, but those two headlined Bound For Glory together and traded the World Title. Instead though we get probably their least memorable match ever which is only there because it had a lame gimmick attacked. What an odd choice that sounds like someone saw the names on a page and picked the match without looking. #6….eh yeah it was a big moment but it didn’t lead anywhere and is FAR too high up. #5 is a joke.

That leaves us with #1. Yeah it’s a big moment, but the top moment in the history of the company? Really? Not signing Kurt Angle five months after he was defending the World Title at Wrestlemania? Not Elix Skipper walking the cage in an outstanding match that was on every TNA highlight reel until Hogan and Bischoff rebooted the company? On top of that, nothing from Raven’s great run back in 2003? Abyss’ only mention is a cameo at the end of Bound For Glory 2010? He had a great match against Styles at Lockdown 2005, but apparently only Unbreakable happened in the first five years of TNA history.

Overall this list feels like it was thrown together by a slightly more than casual fan of TNA. Some of these are obvious, but for the most part this comes off like a list from the last six years instead of the best ever from TNA. Having stuff in there like the two weddings or the WOO Off (funny moment, but they showed it in the package before they aired the full thing) takes up another spot that could go to something more important. It did hit some spots though including most of the important ones, save for the top one that is.

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Impact Wrestling – December 17, 2014: It Ends With Old Guys

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 17, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Taz
Hosts: Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash

Since the show is leaving Spike, this episode is the first half of a Top 20 Moments in TNA History and is airing at 11pm instead of the usual 9pm timeslot. It gets even better next week with the show starting at midnight on Christmas Eve night. When they bury a show they really bury it. Let’s get to it.

As usual I’ll be posting the full versions of any matches that are clipped.

20. Lockdown 2008.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

In a cage with Angle defending and Joe’s career on the line. They haven’t had a PPV match in awhile so we get a recap of their whole history. This is treated more like an MMA fight with Angle in black shorts instead of his usual singlet and MMA fighter Frank Trigg on commentary. Before the match, Angle has Karen thrown out from her front row seat.

They even start by standing in MMA stances before trading leg kicks. Joe gets a leg bar but Angle is almost immediately in the ropes. Down to the mat with Angle hammering away at Joe’s guard as this is getting old fast. Joe gets the better of some mat grappling before it’s back to the stupid MMA stances. Angle finally snaps off a suplex and puts on a side choke until Joe makes the ropes.

Off to a front facelock from the champion before a quick German suplex gets two. A shot to the knee puts Joe down again and we hit the figure four. It’s about time we got to some wrestling. Joe finally turns it over but Angle is right next to the ropes. Angle cranks on the leg again but Joe chops his way out of it. That’s fine with Kurt as he slaps on a quickly broken headlock. Seriously a headlock in a cage match?

Back up and Joe nails a clothesline to put Kurt down but he has to shake his knee a bit. Kurt goes to the middle rope but gets caught by the enziguri. The MuscleBuster is countered and Angle hooks the ankle lock. Joe rolls out and gets two out of the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The powerbomb into the Walls of Jericho into the STF into the crossface has Angle screaming.

Kurt grabs the ankle to finally escape but Joe pulls Angle back down into the crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle finally rolls over to get the ropes but Joe puts it right back on. Another rope is grabbed and the Angle Slam gets two. The champion puts on the ankle lock but he spins one too many times and gets pulled into the Clutch, only to use the referee’s shirt to make it to the ropes. Another Angle Slam attempt is countered and Joe sends him face first into the cage (first time it’s been used) and the MuscleBuster FINALLY gives Joe the title.

Rating: B. This got much better once they stopped the stupid MMA stuff and had a wrestling match. There was no need to have a cage here as it was only used once towards the end, which could have been replaced by a kick or something like that. It’s a good match and a good moment, but at the end of the day this was too overdone for what it needed to be.

19. Destination X 2012.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start without a lot of offense either way. After about a minute and twenty seconds they lock up and Roode grabs the arm. Aries grabs the arm to counter but gets run over. They’re still in slow mode and that’s fine. A rolling cradle gets two for Aries and he hooks an STF. They hit the mat and Roode slaps him in the back of his head a few times. Now Aries takes him down to the mat and hits a slingshot tope for two.

Roode hooks a headscissors on the mat which is quickly broken up and they head outside. Aries hits a top rope ax handle to the floor but his missile dropkick misses back inside and Roode takes over. Roode hooks a chinlock but a knee drop misses. Aries fires off with kicks and tries the Last Chancery but it doesn’t go on right. Roode goes to the floor but avoids the suicide dive, sending Aries into the barricade.

Roode hooks a bodyscissors back in the ring followed by a hard whip into the corner. He talks a lot of trash to the downed Aries and hits a combination F5/Samoan Drop for two. Off to a body vice on the mat and Aries is cut on the nose. Aries makes a comeback and fires off forearms and chops in the corner. They slug it out and a discus forearm puts Roode down. A clothesline puts Roode on the floor and there’s the suicide dive which connects this time.

This time the missile dropkick hits as well but Aries charges into a powerslam out of the corner. Aries comes back again and tries the Last Chancery again, but Roode is pretty bad at selling it. Roode counters into a Crossface but Aries counters right back into the Chancery. Aries gets in another shot to the head and goes up for the 450, but Roode moves. Aries rolls through it anyway but walks into the spinebuster for two.

The champion sends him shoulder first into the post and goes back to the Crossface. That stays on for a long time but Aries makes the rope. Roode is frustrated now so he grabs the belt, only to have it taken away by the referee. That allows the champ to hit a low blow for two. Roode argues with the referee and gets shoved into the corner, allowing Aries to hit the corner dropkick.

Aries tries the brainbuster but Roode escapes and the ref is bumped. Roode hits a belt shot for a VERY close two. The fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for two and Aries punts Roode in the head. He grabs the brainbuster out of nowhere for the pin and the title in a huge shocker.

Rating: B+. Another good match to close the show here, but the point of this was in the surprise. This felt like a big moment and it was the right call to pull the trigger here. This show was designed around the X-Division and having the longest reigning champion win the world title here was the right way to make the X Title look like it can be something comparable to the world title. Good match too.

18. Victory Road 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

We get a collection of comedy moments from over the years, including Shark Boy waking up in a hospital bed, Curry Man rambling and meeting Shark Boy, Eric Young winning a bikini contest, Big Fat Oily Guy, the Aces and 8’s Funeral, Jay Lethal and Flair having a WOO Off, Robbie E. vs. Robbie T. in a Bro Off (E.’s face at the end of T.’s routine still cracks me up), Shark Boy getting fat, Eric Bischoff being dumped in a portable toilet and ODB marrying Eric Young.

17. Impact – July 7, 2010.

This is another moment where they put the wrong date on the show as it was actually July 8. The moment is Jay Lethal’s perfect imitation of Ric Flair which words don’t do justice. He had the voice down and every catchphrase, sending Flair into fits in the ring. Go find this one online because it’s hilarious and all in the way Lethal sounds and just typing it out would ruin the joke.

16. Bound For Glory 2009.

X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley

Ultimate X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.

It’s a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere. Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto everyone else in the match.

Back in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top rope double stomp from Shelley.

The Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver. Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason, only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.

Now it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).

Suicide throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows after them.

The fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone dies.

Rating: C+. That Daniels bump had me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here. Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved. It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it hard to sit through at the end.

15. Lockdown 2013.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

In the cage of course with Hardy defending. Tenay says Ray has a 50+ pound weigh advantage about a minute after Ray is announced at 275 to Hardy’s 227. Feeling out process to start with Ray running Hardy over with a hard shoulder. A quick slam gets two for Ray and the champion bails to the corner. Hardy fights back with the Whisper in the Wind for two but can’t escape as Ray rams Hardy’s leg into the cage.

Ray starts a slow and methodical offense by working over the champion’s ribs and back. A big backdrop gets two for Ray but Jeff gets in a shot to earn himself a breather. The Twist and the Bubba Bomb are both countered but the second attempt at the Twist of Fate connects. Cue Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff into the cage but Jeff and Bully run them over. Bully lets himself be a springboard for Poetry in Motion before throwing both bikers out.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring with Jeff actually taking over. A flying forearm takes Bully down and there’s a low dropkick for two. Hardy tries to climb out but Ray makes the save and they slug it out on the top rope. Hardy kicks Ray in the head but falls to the mat, allowing Ray to fall off the top onto Jeff for a VERY close two. The Twist staggers Bully but as Jeff goes up, Ray hits a HUGE sitout powerbomb out of the corner to put both guys down.

Ray covers for two and the fans are split. Cue the Hogans to watch the main event from ringside to cheer on Bully. Ray gets to his feet very slowly but here are Aces and 8’s. Ray stands up and has a chain as the bikers come in. To the shock of not many people, Ray is thrown a hammer by D-Von and clubs down Jeff to win the title, revealing himself as the leader at 17:20.

Rating: B-. That powerbomb alone was worth the whole match. The ending isn’t really all that surprising but at least Aces and 8’s have FINALLY done something of note. Bully Ray as world champion of a major company in 2013 is a huge gamble to say the least, but it appears that we’re heading to Hogan vs. Ray down the line. To call that a gamble is an even shorter stretch but it’s what we appear to be getting.

We hear a quick recap from Bully Ray about how the Aces and 8’s plan came together. This really helped tie things together after it didn’t make a lot of sense for months on end.

In some storyline development, we see Shera being tortured in the woods, likely as his way of joining the Revolution.

14. Bound For Glory 2007.

Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match

This is to crown the inaugural champion. As usual, it’s over the top with one minute intervals for the ten entrants until we get to the final two when it becomes one fall to a finish. Miss Brooks is in at #1 and Jackie Moore is in at #2. Jackie runs Brooks over and knocks her face first onto the mat until Shelley Martinez is in at #3. Brooks goes after Shelley and gets dropped with a reverse DDT for her efforts. Jackie goes after Shelley, allowing Brooks to hit a top rope seated senton on Martinez.

Awesome Kong is in at #4 but takes 55 seconds to get to the ring and can’t do anything. Jackie throws out Brooks and Kong dumps Martines. ODB is in at #5 and also takes her time getting in, allowing Kong to plant Jackie and dump her out. We’re down to ODB vs. Kong and of course ODB starts swinging. Angel Williams is in at #6 as Kong is hammering away on ODB. The girls wisely double team Kong but are quickly suplexed down.

Christy Hemme (looking GREAT) is in at #7 and immediately gets put in a torture rack. Kong slams her down until Gail Kim comes in at #8 with a missile dropkick. Hemme is taken out by medics as the other three gang up on Kong. They finally dump Kong out (and break her top at the same time) as Talia Madison is in at #9. ODB and Gail Kim double team Williams out Roxxi Leveaux is in at #10 so we have a final grouping of Gail, Roxxi, ODB and Talia. Gail throws out Talia and Roxxi dumps ODB to get us to the one on one match.

Roxxi nails her with a forearm to the chest and plants her with a fall away slam for two. The fans are almost entirely behind Gail, as they’ve been since the beginning. An Octopus Hold has Roxxi in trouble but she falls into the ropes. Gail misses a missile dropkick and they trade rollups for two each. Back up and Kim grabs White Noise for the pin and the first title.

Rating: C-. These matches are hard to get into and it would have helped quite a bit if we hadn’t had a battle royal about an hour ago. Kim is a good choice for the first champion and has a built in challenger in Kong, who had some great matches with Gail in the coming months. I do like that she won the title with a pin instead of dumping someone out though. It feels more proper.

13. Impact – March 3, 2011.

Time for the wedding. Eric Young is the ring bearer and Orlando Jordan is the flower girl. Jeff comes out thankfully not to his theme music. Tazz keeps calling Karen by the name Karen Angle. And of course here’s Kurt and the brawl is on. Jeff almost goes into the definitely not ten foot cake. Kurt hits a clothesline and here’s Karen. She slaps Kurt and goes into the cake. Angle’s music plays it out. This whole thing might have lasted two and a half minutes.

From later in the night.

Time for wedding #2. Young it still wedding bearer and Jordan is still flower girl. Jeff doesn’t have a coat on this time. Kurt walks Karen down the aisle. He’s smiling and Karen seems to still have cake on her face. Kurt is all happy here and it’s rather amusing. No Bart Scott in sight. The fans boo at the or forever hold your piece line. They both say I will and all that jazz. The minister asks the fans if they’ll support the Jarretts. Take a guess how that goes over.

Now we get to hear CUSTOM vows. We’ve had a combined 12 minutes of wrestling and we’re getting custom vows. Wow indeed. Jeff says he’s long winded and would be nervous so he wrote his out. He runs down Kurt the whole time and Kurt just keeps smiling away. He’s looking over Jeff’s shoulder and it’s rather creepy. Karen is the wind beneath his wings.

Karen says Jeff is a real man and the princess is taken care of. Oh and Kurt didn’t screw her enough apparently. Jeff completes her. The minister announces them as husband and wife through the power vested in him by the department of motor vehicles. The unintentional comedy is helping here. They actually get through the kissing of the bride, so Kurt busts out an ax and starts hacking the set to pieces, all with that creepy grin on his face. That was kind of awesome.

Bischoff sends out New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott. Yes send your celebrity out to the CRAZY MAN WITH AN AXE! Surprisingly enough they go at it and Kurt grabs the ankle lock and cranks on it. Didn’t expect that. Segment went WAY too long but the ending helped it a lot.

12. Impact – October 29, 2014.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

They have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the floor.

Bobby follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt but Hebner says no.

That earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.

Rating: B. The match got going near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line? The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode is that guy then so be it.

11. Bound For Glory 2011.

Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

Bischoff’s son is referee. Sting is insane here and wears a Hulkamania shirt to the ring. Hulk is in street clothes. The bell rings and here comes Flair as we keep looking at Dixie Carter in the front row. Sting grabs a headlock to start but Hogan shoves him away and Hulks Up. That gets Hogan a crotch chop so Hulk punches him down and puts on a chinlock. Sting gets sent outside but is quickly back inside to have his back and eyes raked.

Hogan throws him outside for low blows and chops from Flair before Hulk starts biting at Sting’s forehead. The beating goes on for awhile until they head back inside where Flair slips Hogan a foreign object. The shots bust Sting open but Sting comes back with right hands. He stops the beating and goes after Flair, stealing the foreign object to cut Hogan open as well. A pair of Stinger Splashes set up the Scorpion Deathlock and Hogan gives up, forcing referee Jackson James to call for the bell.

Rating: D+. This one would fall under the category of “what else were you expecting?” At the end of the day, TNA basically exists to make Sting look good so this really shouldn’t be a surprise. Someone young probably should have gotten the rub from Hogan, but Sting clearly needed this spot instead right?

Immortal comes out to destroy Sting with chairs as Abyss is shown watching from behind the curtain. Jackson James takes one of them away, turning face about an hour and fifteen minutes after he turned heel. Bischoff hits him with a chair, starting the most unwanted face push in the history of ever.

Sting crawls over to Hogan and begs for help, because if there’s one thing more important than making Sting look good, it’s making Hogan look good. Hogan makes the big face turn and helps Sting clean house, because two bloody guys in their 50s beating up about seven guys armed with chairs makes perfect sense. Posing ensues and of course the old WWF crowd eats it up. It’s a cool segment for the moment, but this was basically all about Hogan and Sting instead of doing anything for TNA long term.

Overall Rating: B. The show was entertaining due to having some excellent wrestling, but let’s recap that ending real fast: the big moment that you end the show on is two guys in their 50s who currently work for WWE. They couldn’t have swapped this with #12 so that the last thing we see is the reigning World Champion standing tall after vanquishing an unstoppable beast? It was really necessary that we had to show Sting and Hogan at the end of the show?

The show as a whole was good enough, but I would have liked to see some stuff from the old days. There had to be some great stuff in there, but maybe they’re saving those for next week. I really hope this doesn’t turn into the best since the Hogan Era began, because there are some gems from back in the day that have just been forgotten over the years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – November 28: D’Angelo Dinero

Today we’re looking at a guy whose popularity I’ll never understand: D’Angelo Dinero.

Burke got his start in 2003 and spent a few years in OVW. Given that his run there might be the least interesting stuff I’ve ever seen in wrestling (not an exaggeration), we’ll skip ahead to his debut in ECW on November 28, 2006.

Hardy Boys vs. Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay

Terkay is a big MMA style guy who never did much in America. Jeff and Burke get things going with Hardy taking Elijah down with a headscissors. Off to Matt for a top wristlock won by Matt before Jeff comes back in with a dropkick for two. Terkay comes in and drills Jeff with a slam but misses a hard charge into the post. Matt comes in with a Side Effect for Burke and some clotheslines for Terkay. The Hardys double team Terkay down and hit Poetry in Motion, followed by the Twist/Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it wasn’t terrible. At the end of the day the Hardys were slumming it in ECW until they were ready for their real reunion tour on Raw and Samckdown. The match wasn’t anything of note but then again neither were Burke or Terkay in WWE at all.

Burke became the leader of the New Breed and would face the ECW Originals at Wrestlemania XXIII.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

Burke wanted CM Punk to join the New Breed and fought him at Judgment Day 2007 as a result.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Burke is more known as the Pope now. Punk has heavily taped ribs and IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!!! Burke wanted Punk in the ECW New Breed but Punk said no, so here’s a match. Basically Elijah is just a loudmouth at this point and is overly cocky. He’s a rare example of TNA taking a guy and doing FAR better with him than WWE did. The fans are behind Punk here.

Nothing of note to start other than some striking and Punk throwing on a chinlock. That makes sense here as he’s trying to conserve wind due to the ribs being injured. Punk keeps firing off kicks and adds a suplex for two. British Bulldog suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock, both by Punk if that wasn’t clear. That doesn’t last long as Punk hits a springboard reverse cross body for two.

Burke finally gets to the ribs and Punk can’t get the knee in the corner. Punk is noving very gingerly because of the ribs. GTS can’t hit so he settles for a springboard dropkick to send Burke to the floor. This has been almost all Punk for the first 8 minutes and he adds a suicide dive to the floor to continue his advantage. Burke manages to pull him off the top in almost a powerbomb style move and it’s time to work on the bad ribs.

Off to the body scissors and the fans chant for JBL for absolutely no reason at all. See, in contrast to the opener with Carlito doing a bunch of different stuff to Flair’s arm, Burke is using the same body scissors the entire time. There are TONS of moves and holds to use on the ribs but he uses the same one. Big difference and it made me enjoy the Carlito stuff more.

Punk gets out of it and they head to the corner. Superplex by Punk has both guys in EXTREME (it’s an ECW match so you have to capitalize that word) agony. Punk is up first and starts firing off strikes. Enziguri gets two. Knee in the corner hits this time but he can’t get the bulldog. Elijah Express (double knee in the corner) misses as does the GTS and an STO gets two for Burke. Double knees his this time and Punk is caught in the Tree of Woe for a bit before the cover only gets two. Punk reverses another STO and the GTS hits for the pin. We even get a faster count as per ECW tradition.

Rating: B. Good match here as they had a lot of time and it paid off in the end. Burke isn’t a guy that I was ever a fan of in WWE but this was a very good outing from him. Then again being in there with him probably didn’t hurt things at all. Punk would of course become a far bigger deal than Burke in WWE but that was to be expected.

Here’s a rematch for Punk’s ECW Title at Unforgiven 2007.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Man did these two go on different career paths. Burke is more famous as the Pope D’Angelo Dinero. We get a video on Punk winning the title recently in his final title shot. He had like four of them so he had to win one eventually. Burke doesn’t even get a full entrance. On a PPV. That should tell you a lot about his chances here. Feeling out process to start as Punk gets a quick cross armbreaker that goes nowhere.

Burke takes over for a few seconds but Punk grabs a Russian legsweep for two. They mess up an Irish whip into the corner as their legs collide and Burke takes over by just slamming Punk’s head off the mat. Why make things too complicated? Bow and arrow rest hold goes on Punk for a few seconds but he fights out and hits the knee/bulldog combo followed by the springboard clothesline for two.

Out to the floor and Punk gets his back rammed into various objects that aren’t meant to have your back rammed into. Burke hooks a Boston Crab but Punk makes a rope. Here are some rolling Germans but Punk blocks the third one. In a cool looking hold, Burke hooks the legs in a Texas Cloverleaf position but is standing and facing Punk instead of sitting on Punk’s back.

Punk finally gets out of it and hits an enziguri, only to get popped in the head with an uppercut. Burke was an amateur boxer so that’s a good move for him to use. That’s one of the issues I have with Barrett: he’s this bareknuckle champion but he never throws punches. Why not? Not that it matters as Punk rolls Burke up out of nowhere for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Not much of a debut as the champion here as Burke of all people dominated for the majority of the match and Punk won on a total fluke. It wasn’t a particularly good match either as this could have easily been the main event on ECW. Punk would lose the title soon enough to Chavo Guerrero and go on to win Money in the Bank, so he did ok I think.

Burke would do a grand total of nothing else in WWE before heading to TNA in mid 2009. Here he is at No Surrender that year.

Suicide vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Falls count anywhere and they’re already in the back when this starts. Pope drops an elbow off some anvil cases but hurts himself in the process. This is being written the day after Randy Savage died so that hurt a bit to see. Suicide grabs a small package for two as we more or less have a hardcore match here. They fought on Impact apparently and this is the rematch.

Pope gets backdropped into a small dumpster for two. Let’s get a golf cart to run over Suicide with now. So it’s an attempted homicide on Suicide? Pope climbs a small fence and Suicide pulls his shorts down. Thankfully he has regular tights on under it. Naturally Suicide pulls those down too and yeah there it is. For some reason Pope can’t pull them up for awhile so there’s your visual for the match.

In the arena now and Pope rings the bell on Suicide’s head and talks about Jingle Bells for no apparent reason. Hey let’s go to the ring for a change of pace. More brawling follows and it’s table time. Suicide takes a belly to back suplex on the ramp for two. Neither guy can get thrown off the ramp through a table so Suicide covers on the stage for two. He takes over and hammers away on the stage for another few minutes with nothing of note happening. Pope gets put on a table but the double leg drop through it misses and we’re done.

Rating: C-. It’s just a hardcore match. I tend to say that a lot when I review these but a lot of the time there’s nothing to distinguish these from any others that occur. This probably ran too long as it’s about 12 minutes, especially given how long there was between a lot of the bigger moves. Not a very good match but hardcore matches are all about on the same level anyway so we’ll say this was fine, if not a bit generic. Also did anyone expect Pope to lose when he used the sponsor’s product?

Next up is Final Resolution 2009.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez/D’Angelo Dinero/Suicide vs. Rhyno/Team 3D/Jesse Neal

This is an elimination match so think Survivor Series. Actually for the first five minutes it’s 1 on 4 and that would be Hernandez vs. the other four. Why is that the case? Who freaking cares? Apparently not TNA as they barely mention it. Leave it to TNA to be able to screw this up. If Hernandez loses in this five minutes it’s over but it’s just an elimination for the other guys. Leave it to TNA to manage to screw up an elimination tag with overly complicated rules.

Neal is a total jobber at this point and just a student of Team 3D. Hernandez is coming off a super push where he was almost world champion but was then pushed down into a tag team with Morgan just because. Ray beats on Hernandez a bit and it’s off to Rhyno. Why are these teams feuding? Not necessary information. Gore hits for two so we know Rhyno won’t last long. Another Gore misses and a rollup makes it 1-3 which is soon to be 4-3.

Neal is sent out to get a chair but the heels just stand around while the rest of the time runs out and here are the other three. Morgan is also in the middle of a big push which would just die when Hogan got there. Hernandez dives out on everyone at once and we get down to regular stuff. Suicide (Kazarian) hammers on Neal to start. They have this whole thing backwards at this point as the faces are dominating, which is the total wrong idea in matches like these.

Not being very intelligent, Neal picks up the chair and pops Suicide with it. Hernandez, not being very intelligent either, picks up the same chair and pops Neal with it. So it’s a DQ if you hit someone no longer in the match? 3D takes out Suicide so it’s 2-2 now….wait why is Neal still out there? He cracked Suicide with the chair and the referee clearly saw it. Dang he reacted to it. Why does this surprise me? What the heck ever man.

It’s Dinero vs. Ray at the moment and now Neal leaves as it’s a DQ for him. How do you make a simple DQ complicated? Pope gets a top rope clothesline for two. 3D takes Pope out and it’s 2-1 finally. Team 3D hammers him together for awhile which the referee doesn’t seem to have much of an issue with. Morgan hits a double clothesline and splashes them both in the corner.

D-Von takes the corner elbows but can still save Ray from a chokeslam. Oh and the Dudleys are the IWGP Tag Champions here. Not that it means anything to the vast majority of wrestling fans but TNA insisted it mattered so there we are. There hasn’t been any time during the 2-1 part where a Dudley has been on the apron.

Big boot takes out D-Von, even though the hand didn’t hit the mat the third time and they wait 15 seconds to announce his elimination. So it’s Ray vs. Morgan now which would be a win for Ray at the moment somehow. Ray counters the Hellevator into a DDT and it’s chair time. Carbon Footprint into the chair ends it.

Rating: D. What the heck were they thinking here? Was there any need for the five minute thing or for this to take up sixteen minutes or air time? I mean dude, what the heck? It wasn’t even anything special with the two DQs and the total lack of drama as the biggest star on the other team was who, Ray? This was boring as all goodness and another example ot TNA managing to take something simple and overcomplicate it.

Dinero would enter the Eight Card Stud tournament at Against All Odds 2010 for a future World Title shot.

8 Card Stud Quarterfinals: Desmond Wolfe vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Sweet goodness Chelsea looks great. Good night though, shut up Tenay and West. Wolfe is a guy I like more and more every time I see him. Pope….I just don’t get it. He’s a wrestling Slick and somehow that’s a gimmick? Wait…Tenay just asked which young stud will break through. Angle, Abyss and Foley are all former world champions, Hernandez has been around forever and everyone knows Kennedy.

I get the idea of what he’s saying but it’s still kind of dumb. The people are behind Pope, but at the same time how serious can you take the Impact Zone fans? They’re starting out fast paced here which I like pretty well. Wolfe’s nipples are really close together. NICE DDT on Pope. Pope has a unique style of striking which is reminding me of Sting, which is a compliment.

A top rope cross body gets two. The big lariat misses and Pope gets a rollup for two. And then we get a very contrived ending on the levels of the 619 as Pope hits the dumbest finisher in the company at the moment with the double knee to the back of the conveniently placed opponent for the pin.

Rating: B. Not bad at all and a very solid opener. They went out there and had a fast paced match. I would have had Wolfe go further, but if they wanted Pope to go over strong, I can’t argue with how they did it as it was a completely clean win. It’s a shame that Wolfe didn’t get to do more in TNA.

8 Card Stud Semi-Finals: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Matt Morgan

Again I ask: what is a street pope? I don’t get it. Pope does the Bret Hart glasses thing which works. They’re going big man vs. little man here so that’s all well and good. We’re on the floor now and not a lot is going on. Oh I almost forgot: this is the feud that made me hate Burke. Back in OVW these two feuded FOREVER and it couldn’t have been more boring if their lives depended on it.

It was that feud that made me hate Burke and it’s why I have issues about him to this day. Expect a low grade here. Morgan is acting very heelish here and I’m not big on that at all. It’s bearhug time so they’re not doing themselves any favors at all. Morgan is dominating here and screw that as Pope is making his comeback.

Morgan BLUEPRINTS UP though and takes his head off with a clothesline. So one minute Pope is in survival mode and the next he’s hitting the knees to the back for the pin. Riiiight. Oh I especially love Morgan being on the corner and looking over his shoulder twice to see when he needs to be ready to sell.

Rating: D+. While I want to fail it because of the people in it, this didn’t do it for me. The story and psychology were pretty much non existent here and the ending was completely unbelievable as in yeah right that was stupid. Yes there’s likely some bias in there and it wasn’t jumping off the page bad or anything so don’t think that’s what I’m saying.

8 Card Stud Finals: Mr. Anderson vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Pope takes forever getting out there because he got beaten up. Ok then. The referee starts counting and you know he’ll be there in time so this is kind of pointless. Yep there he is. Anderson beats on him on the ramp. Even money says they’ll brawl on the floor too. Hey they’re fighting on the floor! They haven’t actually been in the ring yet. AJ and Flair are watching in the back.

This has been ALL Anderson, making the ending a tad obvious. Pope of course is ok after that much of a beating. Most of the match is Anderson beating on Pope and there’s your comeback. The DDE gets two and Anderson is in control again. Pope uses an STO which is Kennedy’s finisher in reverse. Kennedy cuts a promo mid match and stops to hit the Mic Check for two and a pop from the fans. That’s….a bit too much from Pope. Anderson misses a Swanton and Pope hits the double knees to the back. He REALLY needs a new finisher.

Rating: B. They kept it simple here and it worked. This was fun. That’s the best way to put it I think as it wasn’t particularly great or even very good but it was fun. That’s all you can ask for here I guess. Either way it worked fine though so all in all this was a good main event.

And now the title shot at Lockdown 2010.

TNA World Title: D’Angelo Dinero vs. AJ Styles

Hebner throws Flair out to start. If he stays gone, then sweet. We get the big match intros which it should get. Tenay thinks that Flair being gone helps Pope. You can’t buy commentary like that people! We start off rather well. One good thing about Styles is he can work just about any style you ask him to.

Pope can move out there so this is a solid looking match. Also, this is a good thing as you have two smaller guys with limited muscles in the title picture. That’s a legit alternative to WWE. AJ hits the forearm and the 450 but goes to the top of the cage and misses. Solid match so far. The double knee hits and gets two. AJ reaches through the cage and grabs a pen from the camera guy. Uh, ok. And he jabs Pope in the eye to set up the Styles Clash for the pin.

Rating: B. Just a total letdown there at the end. I do not get the point in jobbing Pope out. For the life of me I do not get that. He match was solid though but after the previous match, the crowd was a bit dead. Still very solid stuff though and I can work with it. Unfortunately this was basically it for Dinero meaning anything in TNA.

Here’s Dinero against someone you might have heard of at Victory Road 2010.

Kurt Angle vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Angle is listed as #10 (TNA used to have a rankings system), yet he’s beaten two guys and Pope is 8th. I love the TNA thinking. We start on the ground. I’m watching this out of order since I got home late so this is the first match I watched. They’re doing the red, white and blue ropes which is cool looking. They booked themselves into a corner here as Angle can’t really lose but Pope is returning and hasn’t won a big match in months. Angle hits a buckle bomb which is always great looking.

This is a solid match to start but they’re not going to have a ton of time unless this goes up until eleven. Kurt is winning but not dominating which is a good thing. Pope steals the Rolling Germans which doesn’t work. Only a handful of people can suplex Angle and he isn’t one of them. Angle’s all like boy I’ll show you Rolling Germans.

Pope hits a Codebreaker and the fans are all behind Angle. Angle Slam hits from nowhere for two. Why are announcers still surprised by that? I don’t get it. Ankle Lock goes on but Pope gets a rollup for two. Ankle Lock again on the mat and it’s over. This needed a bit more time but was entertaining.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. The match was never in doubt though which is what hurt it. Angle is in a groove at the moment and this was no exception. This doesn’t hurt Pope that much though as he’ll likely move on to Anderson now. Decent enough match though and certainly passable.

TNA went even more insane than usual in 2010 and Dinero thought there was a conspiracy, leading to this mess at Bound For Glory 2010.

Sting/D’Angelo Dinero/Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe

Joe grabs Dinero’s arm to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Dinero comes back with a flying tackle but Joe pops back up and stares at him. Some rights and lefts in the corner don’t have much effect on Joe so it’s off to Sting for a rematch BFG 2008’s main event. Sting hammers away and tries the Stinger Splash, only to charge into the release Rock Bottom. Joe takes Sting outside and nails some left hands to the jaw. Nash comes in from behind with a shot to Joe’s back to give Sting control.

They walk around just like in 2008 but thankfully stay at ringside instead of going through the crowd. It’s off to Nash back inside for some right hands of his own, followed by knees to the ribs in the corner. Back to Dinero for some stompings in the corner, followed by a slingshot elbow drop for two. Joe fights off Dinero, decks Sting and hits an enziguri in the corner to drop Nash. He crawls over to Jarrett but Jeff drops to the floor and leaves. Joe is all alone and tries to fight them off but three guys are too much for him. The Jackknife is enough to pin the Samoan.

Rating: D+. This was storyline advancement even though it didn’t make sense at this time. To be fair though, NOTHING made sense at this point which is what made this such a must see show, as we were finally promised answers. The match was just kind of there, much like Joe who had no connection to anything here. The annoying part here though was we were building to Sting vs. Jarret for months and now they’re either neutral with each other or on the same side.

Dinero would fall through the floor after this, settling for this match at Lockdown 2011.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is in red and blue which is an odd look on him. The Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant is always cool to hear. Pope hits a powerslam which is no sold as Joe drills Pope with ease. Tenay says that it’s all about the strikes with the Samoan SUBMISSION Machine. Pope gets what looked like a low blow to finally slow down the rampaging Joe. Joe gets a chop in and Pope tries to run. The key word there is try as they wind up on top of the cage and a headbutt sends Pope’s balls into the top rope.

That hole in the cage they use for the camera is always awesome. As Joe hits some face washes the camera goes wide again for no apparent reason. Joe comes with a running kick but Pope pulls the referee in the way to avoid it. Pope fights up and lands some crossface shots to take over. We hit the chinlock with Joe in some trouble. Joe fights up and tries a sleeper, only to get caught in an STO for two.

ENOUGH WITH THE WIDE SHOT ALREADY! Snap powerslam by Joe and both guys are down so we go wide again. This is getting annoying. They slug it out with Joe winning by slapping harder. Big Boot by the big fat tub of goo sets up a backsplash for two. Leg lariat off the top gets two. Muscle Buster hits but Pope gets his foot on the ropes.

Pope goes up and gets his tights pulled down in the process. He finally pulls them up and knocks Joe to the mat. Top rope elbow gets one and a Codebreaker gets two. DDE is caught because it’s an awful finisher and Joe sends him into the cage. Muscle Buster sets up the Clutch and it’s over. Well that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far and it was just ok at best. Now please, LET THIS BE OVER. The feud has been a waste of the last four months for both guys and the matches haven’t been anything special. This wasn’t anything great overall but it wasn’t too bad. The right guy won at least so it has that going for it.

Dinero would hook up with D-Von in a team no one cared about. Here’s their Tag Team Title shot at No Surrender 2011.

Tag Titles: D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mexican America

Remember when TNA had the best tag division by far? Man that seems like forever ago. Can we watch Sarita and Rosita dance instead of watching this match? D-Von vs. Anarquia starts us off. The fans chant for the USA. Off to Pope very quickly as they work on the arm. Ok back to D-Von as the challengers are tagging in very fast. SuperMex comes in and D-Von is all cool with that too.

A clothesline puts Hernandez down for a bit and it’s off to Pope, who according to the audience is pimping. If anyone knows what it means to be pimping, it’s a town famous for having a Mouse theme park in it. Anarquia comes in again and this is firmly in first or second gear. The challengers hit something resembling a Hart Attack but with a shoulder instead of a clothesline and D-Von playing the rope of Bret.

Pope kisses Rosita and then holds her by the air above the floor off the apron. FREAKING OW MAN!!! D-Von and Pope set for What’s Up but Sarita breaks it up. Despite looking nothing like him at all, D-Von lands the role of Ricky Morton. Anarquia hits a back elbow for two. Mexican America hits a pair of splashes and Rosita adds a dropkick. Hernandez takes forever to set up a charge and is taken down by a spear from D-Von.

A double tag brings in Anarquia and Pope with Pope cleaning most of the rooms in the house but not all of the house. Top rope cross body gets two on Anarquia and the champs take down Pope with Hernandez hitting a top rope headbutt but there’s no cover from either of them. Everything breaks down and a double shoulder block puts down Hernandez. The girls come in and get stereo spankings. D-Von takes down Hernandez and we go back to Wrestlemania V as Pope suplexes Anarquia back in but one of the chicks hooks his leg for the fall on top pin at 9:53.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but I could see how some people would. The girls got involved about five times and the ending was so cliched it’s almost unbearable. That’s what this show has been: one cliched ending after another. Also, D-Von and Pope are the best tag team they could get for this? At least the Brits are a regular team that gets along more than a week before the PPV. Not into this at all.

One more TNA match on Impact, June 21, 2012.

Bound For Glory Series: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Bully Ray

This is another call out, this time by Bully. Ray jumps Pope to start and gets some quick two counts. A boot to the face puts Dinero down but a splash misses for Ray. Dinero comes back with some elbows but Ray hits a corner splash. As he pounds away in the corner, here’s Abyss in the crowd. He tells Ray to bring it and the DDE sends Ray to the floor. Abyss comes over the rail and goes after Ray, who gets back in the ring but walks into an STO for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C-. Not much here as these short matches are getting a little annoying. Abyss vs. Ray is still probably the most interesting story on the show right now which is covering a lot of territory. Pope was pretty much there to fill in a spot and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m not sure if he’s going to be able to do that forever.

We’ll wrap things up with a trip back to OVW after Burke left TNA. Here he is trying to get his OVW TV Title back on OVW TV, October 19, 2013 inside a steel cage.

TV Title: Shiloh Jonze vs. Elijah Burke

They have a REALLY high cage. Jonze has his army the Marauders backing him up. The Marauders get on the side of the cage but the referee ejects them all before the bell. Burke is wearing the same shirt he wore when he started years ago in OVW. He sends Jonze into the cage over and over again to start before no selling a lot of shots in the corner. A big gorilla press drops Jonze and the champ hides in the corner. All Burke so far.

We take a break and come back with Jonze charging into a boot in the corner but coming back with a spinning kick to the face. Burke won’t let him go out the door so Jonze drops a knee to the face. They both climb in the corner and slug it out on the top rope with Burke crotching Jonze down on the ropes. The referee checks on Shiloh but the champ just collapses. Burke would rather hurt him than escape though and sends Jonze into the cage a few times.

Jonze catches himself on the cage and tries to climb out but Burke is right there with him, pulling Shiloh down with a belly to back superplex as we take another break. Back with Burke holding Shiloh’s foot to keep him in the cage. Both guys get sent into the cage and things slow down a bit. They slug it out from their knees before fighting to their feet and throwing faster punches.

It’s Elijah taking over with a flying forearm and a series of elbows to the head. A powerslam gets two on the champ but Burke takes his sweet time climbing the cage. Jonze follows him up but Burke shoves him right onto the referee. Burke has the title won, but instead he dives off the VERY high cage for something like a splash to crush Jonze in a huge crash. Cue the Marauders to keep Burke from getting out and to slip Shiloh some handcuffs. Elijah takes them away and knocks Jonze silly but the rest of the Marauders keeps Burke in, allowing Jonze to nail him with a chair for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. WAY better than I was expecting here with Jonze being good enough to hang with Burke and Elijah’s big dive being a major highlight. The idea of the cage keeping the Marauders out made perfect sense and Jonze survived long enough to win. For an indy match, this was rather awesome.

I started watching Elijah Burke back in his first OVW run and lost any interest in him. The guy got much better over the years, but his OVW Title feud with Matt Morgan back in 2004 kept me from ever caring about him. Once he lost the title match to AJ at Lockdown 2010, his time as a big deal in TNA was done. There just wasn’t a way to come back from that and he fell down the card as a result. The guy is talented and much better than I remember him but I’m not the biggest fan.

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Impact Wrestling – November 12, 2014: Fight Like There’s No Next Wednesday

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 12, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re down to just two episodes left but I’m sure the TV deal is coming any day now, right Dixie? The main story at the moment is the build to Roode vs. Lashley III, but as is the case with everything else, there isn’t anywhere to actually air the match. We also have the Wolves vs. the Hardys coming up at some point. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of MVP getting on Lashley’s nerves last week and then losing a title shot.

Lashley is waiting for MVP but finds Kenny King. He asks where MVP is but King doesn’t know. That’s not good enough though as Lashley wants to know where MVP is. King keeps walking and doesn’t like Lashley’s attitude.

Here’s the Revolution to open the show. Storm offered Richards a chance to join the team last week and now he wants his answer. He gets both of the Wolves though with Eddie saying that the answer is always going to be….cut off by Davey apparently. Davey says he can speak for himself and he’s been listening to what Storm has been saying. A lot of it makes sense, but after after all this time, he’s come to the conclusion that Storm is out of his mind.

The answer is no so Storm sends the Revolution after them. Storm uses his noose around Davey’s legs before crushing it with a chair. Security gets rid of Storm but he comes back with a briefcase. Edwards tries to fight back but takes a briefcase to the head. Eddie takes a case shot to the ankle before Storm yells at the referee. The case is his Feast or Fired Tag Team Title briefcase, meaning he has a shot with a partner of his choice at any time.

Tag Team Titles: James Storm/??? vs. Wolves

James covers Eddie for two before planting him with the Eye of the Storm. Storm grabs the mic and says he told Edwards to stay out of it. Cue Abyss as the newest member of the Revolution. A chokeslam to Edwards sets up the Black Hole Slam to give Storm the pin and the titles at 3:06. I’m not rating it due to the announcement and entrance taking up so much time but this was an angle instead of a match.

Storm lays out Richards post match for good measure.

Madison Rayne vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn gets jumped as she comes in but fires away on Madison. Rayne runs up the ramp but Terrell throws her back into the ring for another beating. Madison comes back with a kick to the ribs for some two counts as frustration is starting to set in. Taryn’s face is bounced off the mat for two but Madison runs into some knees in the corner. A running neckbreaker drops Madison and Taryn is all fired up….until she runs into a boot in the corner. Madison hammers away but the Rayne Check is countered into an RKO to give Terrell the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as Terrell is starting to look better out there every week. Madison getting beat is a good thing for her as she can only win the title so many times before it stops meaning anything (see also Gail Kim). Terrell vs. Havok could be interesting if they let it go the right way but it would be tricky.

Lashley comes up to Angle and demands his rematch tonight. That can’t happen because Roode isn’t here, so Lashley gets in Angle’s face. The tension continues to grow.

Sheera, the Indian wrestler, is in the back when Manik jumps on his back. In a friendly way of course. Manik says there’s a powerful man that Sheera is ready to meet. Sheera goes off with him.

Here’s Kenny King with something to say. He doesn’t like the fact that Lashley is so angry at everyone because it means bad things for Impact Wrestling. However, he’s here to address Chris Melendez, who had a little dust up with him a few weeks back. Cue Melendez and Anderson with King calling Melendez a fraud.

That’s not cool with Anderson who calls Melendez a hero and an inspiration. King says he’s talking to peggy over here because Melendez doesn’t belong in this ring. He wants to fight Chris one on one but Melendez says Anderson is his role model. King says role models don’t exist and sucker punches Anderson before running.

Gail Kim and Taryn are in Angle’s office to complain about Havok so Angle makes a triple threat for the title next week.

Menagerie vs. BroMans/Beautiful People

Handicap elimination tag. Angelina and Rebel get things going with Love avoiding a kick and scoring with a dropkick for two. Rebel comes right back with a quick rollup for the pin to get us down to 3-3. Off to Knux vs. Jesse with the big man cleaning house with a cartwheel into a dropkick for two. Knux lifts DJZ up for a slam but Jesse dropkicks his partner’s back and grabs the foot, giving DJZ a fast pin.

Steve rolls up DJZ for the pin a second later, leaving us with Sky/Jesse vs. Steve/Rebel. The girls go at it for a bit until Angelina sneaks back in with hairspray to Rebel, giving Sky the pin. DJZ flips Steve into a facebuster, setting up a gorilla press drop. Sky comes back in to kick Steve in the ribs, only to get rolled up (and kissed) for the pin. It’s down to Jesse vs. Steve with the Craazy one being powerbombed for an arrogant two. Jesse puts him on the top but gets caught in a tornado DDT for the pin at 7:04.

Rating: D. This was a waste of time as they could have just done Steve vs. Jesse and gotten the same result. I have no idea why they had to do an elimination tag other than maybe Survivor Series coming up. Nothing to see here as this match was a mess with the eliminations coming so fast that you couldn’t keep up with them.

Eric Young is in the back when Spud comes up and asks to be in his corner tonight. Young says okey dokey.

We look at the opening again.

The Revolution is in the back with Storm telling Abyss that this is just beginning. Sheera comes in but Storm spits on him and tells him to leave. Storm whispers something to Manik who bows and leaves.

Eric Young vs. Tyrus

Young goes after Tyrus to start but the big man throws him into the corner and heart punches him out to the floor. Back in and Young tries a slam for the exact result you would expect. We hit the nerve hold on Young before Big E.’s Big Ending plants Eric again. A Vader Bomb misses though and Young fires off whatever he can. Spud stops Carter’s interference as Young shoves Tyrus off the top, setting up a top rope elbow for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: D+. At least Young isn’t in the main event anymore. The guy just does not fit in that role so moving him down to hopefully put Carter over at some point is a good idea. Spud needs to do something to get his momentum back, even though that’s rarely something that can be done.

Post match Lashley runs in and cleans house, including Pillmanizing Young’s arm and putting him in a Crossface. Austin Aries comes out with a chair of his own for the save. A challenge is made for later.

Brittany is with Samuel Shaw in the back and says Gunner came onto her. Shaw isn’t pleased and storms off.

Here’s Samoa Joe who says he has to make a difficult but correct decision. He isn’t medically cleared to compete for quite awhile and therefore he can’t defend the title. When he won the X-Division Title again, it was to rebuild the division that the company started on. The wrestlers in the division as well as the fans deserve better, so he’s vacating the title tonight. There will be a new champion crowned but the belt is a beacon to bring Joe back for his title.

Bram wants to face Tommy Dreamer in a hardcore match next week. Dreamer’s time is over so he’s going to bleed next week.

Gunner vs. Samuel Shaw

No DQ. Shaw hides next to the entrance and jumps Gunner at the entrance. We pause so Shaw can kiss Brittany, allowing Gunner to take over again. Shaw sends him into the post but again looks at Brittany, setting up a fall away slam from Gunner. They head inside with a bunch of chairs, including one going into Shaw’s ribs. He comes back with a dropkick to send a chair into Gunner’s face but Gunner escapes the choke.

A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Brittany makes sure Shaw is ok. She distracts Gunner again, allowing Shaw to send him face first into the steps. Back in and Gunner punches Shaw out of the air before stacking up the chairs on the floor. A superplex puts both guys down on the chairs but Brittany gets up on the apron again.

That’s fine with Gunner who powerbombs Shaw off the apron and onto the steps. All three get in now and Brittany kicks Gunner low before trying to drag Shaw over. Gunner grabs her leg though, allowing Shaw to nail him in the back with a chair. He takes too long to go for his choke though and takes an F5 onto the chairs for the pin at 8:58.

Rating: D. Good grief this felt long. These guys have been feuding for almost six months now and for the life of me I have no idea what either guy has gained from it. I can barely remember why they’re even fighting anymore and I really don’t care. Shaw is just not an interesting character and it shows more and more every time he gets in the ring.

Austin Aries vs. Lashley

Aries throws his shirt in Lashley’s face to start and tries an early brainbuster but is easily powered down. The Last Chancery doesn’t work either as Lashley throws him out to the floor. Aries nails the running dropkick against the barricade to take over but Lashley shrugs off the missile dropkick back inside. Lashley shoves him out of the corner and we take a break.

Back with Lashley snapping off so many belly to belly suplexes that even Scott Steiner would say something incomprehensible about sugar or being from a highly educated university. Oh and freaks. Always freaks. The spear is blocked though and Aries scores with a missile dropkick. Some discus forearms put Lashley on the floor for the suicide dive but Lashley throws him into the steps. The spear connects on the floor but it’s a double countout at 15:23.

Rating: B-. These guys have always had good chemistry and I liked the ending they went with. Lashley doesn’t care about anything but the title and is willing to destroy someone like Aries to get there. Austin is going to bounce back up and be one of the most popular guys in the company again just by smiling so there’s no damage.

Lashley press slams Aries on the ramp and puts Aries in the Crossface to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the less annoying shows they’ve had in awhile but unfortunately the TV deal looms over everything. They cut out a lot of the drama tonight and just let people wrestle. Unfortunately a lot of that wrestling wasn’t great but the show flew by and didn’t get on my nerves, which is a huge step up for them in a lot of ways. They’re setting up some intriguing stuff, but we’re likely going to have to wait at least a month for any of the payoffs. Decent show tonight with some promise for the future, assuming there is one.

Results

James Storm/Abyss b. Wolves – Black Hole Slam to Edwards

Taryn Terrell b. Madison Rayne – RKO

Menagerie b. BroMans/Beautiful People – Tornado DDT to Godderz

Eric Young b. Tyrus – Top rope elbow

Gunner b. Samuel Shaw – F5 onto a chair

Lashley vs. Austin Aries went to a double countout

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – November 5, 2014: Well That Happened

Impact Wrestling
Date:
November 5, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We might be getting close to the end of Impact’s run as there are only a handful of episodes left before their TV show runs out. We keep hearing about various other networks that want to pick TNA up but there’s never anything definitive about them. As for the show tonight, we’re likely setting up Roode vs. Lashley III and finishing the tag team tournament. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley vs. Roode from last week with Roode winning the title.

Angle is in the ring to start the show and says there’s a new World Champion in the house. Roode comes out and talks about how this is all he ever wanted to do since he was a kid. Now he gets to be the best because he’s the World Champion. He’s proud to be here in the ring with the best ever in Kurt Angle and is proud to be our champion.

Cue Lashley with MVP and King for the big showdown. MVP calls Lashley the most dominant champion in TNA history but Roode is just a guy that needed help from Angle to win the title. He keeps talking though and says Lashley only became champion because MVP hurt his knee. MVP wants a shot and Kurt agrees, seeing where this could be going. Roode agrees and Lashley doesn’t look pleased.

Quick video on the tournament final.

Joe and Low Ki say they’ll prove everyone wrong when they work together to win the tournament.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Samoa Joe/Low Ki vs. Hardys

Winner get a title shot at some point in the future. Jeff and Ki get things going with Hardy taking a kick to the knee. They both start slowly until Ko grabs the arm, only to get nailed in the back. Off to Matt for an arm wringer of his own before Joe comes in for some right hands to pound Matt down in the corner. The non-brothers take over with their strikes until it’s back to Jeff for a front facelock.

Matt comes right back in with the middle rope elbow to the back for two. A double belly to back suplex gets two with Joe making a quick save. Jeff headscissors Ki out of the corner but charges into some boots in the corner. A Shining Wizard misses but Ki kicks Jeff in the back of the head to take over. Back to Joe for the knee drop for two as we take a break.

Back with Jeff nailing the Whisper in the Wind to drop Joe next to him. A double tag brings in Matt and Ki with the Side Effect connecting for two. Another Side Effect gets the same result and a bulldog/clothesline combination takes down both X-Division guys. Ki crotches Matt on the top to break up a moonsault, setting up the top rope Warrior’s Way for two.

Back up and a Twist gets two on Ki as everything breaks down. Joe breaks up Jeff’s Twist and kicks him in the head. The Twist from Matt is countered with the Clutch but Jeff Swantons Matt to break it up. Most people would have just kicked Joe but that’s not how Jeff rolls. Things settle back down and Ki can’t hit the Ki Crusher on Jeff. Back to Matt for Poetry in Motion followed by the Swanton and a moonsault from Matt for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: B-. Good match but it doesn’t hold up that well after the tag team series rocked the house for so many weeks. Also I’m not all that wild on seeing the Hardys again but they’re still good enough in the ring and over with the crowd so it’s not the worst idea in the world. At least we don’t have the potential of champions that hate each other again.

James Storm is with Davey Richards in the back and says he wants an answer in a week.

Roode says MVP suspended him months ago but now he can take care of MVP once and for all. He won’t hide as champion and he’ll prove why he’s TNA’s MVP.

We recap Gunner and Samuel Shaw’s long running story with Brittany catching Shaw’s eye and breaking the team up.

Here are Shaw and Brittany to rip on Gunner and Christy Hemme, who never appreciated Shaw’s artistic genius. Neither of them can ever do the things that she can do, which include licking Shaw’s face. Cue Gunner to say Shaw turned on him for a girl. Crazy attracts crazy though and that’s another problem for Shaw. His biggest problem though is that Shaw wanted to be Gunner instead of just being like him. Gunner calls them creepy again and the fight is on. Brittany saves her new man by jumping on Gunner’s back, allowing Shaw to hit him low. Shaw puts on gloves and chokes Gunner out.

An Indian wrestler named Mahabali Shera is coming to TNA. We get a nice package on his international accomplishments and how sure he is that he belongs on the roster.

We recap the opening segment.

MVP tells Angle that this is all about him (MVP) despite what Angle thinks.

D-Von/Tommy Dreamer vs. Bram/Magnus

Time for the ECW tribute match of the week. The old guys jump the Brits from behind to start and take over early on. They get back to ringside for a baseball slide from Dreamer and a beer shot to Magnus’ head. Back in and Magnus hits D-Von in the knee with his metal rod as the weapons are brought in. Dreamer gets a flashback with a drop toehold onto the chair. A trashcan shot puts Dreamer down again and Bram adds a chair to the back.

The Brits backdrop Dreamer down but D-Von comes back with some chair shots of his own. We get the Tower of Doom out of the corner with Dreamer taking the worst of it but D-Von taking almost nothing at all. Magnus comes back with some kendo stick shots to Dreamer’s back. Tommy fights up and sends Magnus into a trashcan in the corner, setting up a DDT for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: D. GO AWAY TOMMY DREAMER! If you want to go to your “it’s not ECW!” ECW tribute promotion then fine, but stop bringing him around and having him beat World Champions. Dreamer stopped mattering years ago and has been doing a legends tour for what feels like forever. I used to like the guy but man alive how many times can he do the same thing?

Gail Kim wants her title back.

Here’s Spud for a chat. He doesn’t want anyone to feel sorry for him, even though he’s had to do some things that he isn’t proud of. When he won British Boot Camp, he had no friends and nothing to do in TNA. Then he became Dixie Carter’s Chief of Staff and he loved every bit of it.

He would have done anything for the Carters but then his best friend Ethan turned into a complete and utter wanker. Ethan said Spud’s suits make him sick but he isn’t changing for anyone, especially Ethan Carter III. Carter calls himself a 1%er, so Spud is Mr. 99% and has these people behind him. JB talks about Spud growing up on British Boot Camp and says he’s with Spud.

This brings out Ethan and Tyrus with Carter calling everyone in the crowd a loser. The villains get in the ring and Ethan demands an apology from Spud but the Rockstar says no. Tyrus grabs him from behind and Spud apologizes….for Ethan being so worthless. Ethan goes after JB for some reason and slaps him, only to have Spud get in some shots from behind. Eric Young runs in to save Spud from the double teaming.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim

Gail is defending and has a bad shoulder. The brawl starts in the aisle with Gail getting in some shots, only to have Havok try to ram her shoulder first into the post. Gail comes back with some kicks but Havok just runs her over. The bell hasn’t rung yet as Gail is sent face first into the post. Havok drags her up the ramp and throws Gail off the stage. We get a maniacal laugh as medics check on Gail. No match.

Post break Gail says let’s fight.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim

Havok sends her shoulder first into the buckle to start and slams Gail down on the arm. Gail’s rollup is blocked but she dropkicks Havok into the corner. They head outside with Havok missing a dive off the apron and landing on the steps. Havok comes right back by sending Kim face first into the steps but the champ breaks up the count at nine.

Back in and Gail hooks on something like the Black Widow, only to be countered into a kind of Samoan drop. Gail gets slammed down but pops back up for a top rope cross body and two more. Eat Defeat is countered into a spinebuster on the arm for another two. The chokeslam is countered into Eat Defeat for two but Gail jumps into the chokeslam to retain the title at 6:35.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but I’m just not interested in Gail Kim anymore. There’s almost nothing left for her to do and it’s not interesting anymore. It didn’t help that the story was almost identical to what they did the first time. Havok is a good monster and whoever gets to slay her is going to be a big star.

Shera is at TNA when Manik comes up to him. Manik is very nice and asks to hear some more about Sheva. I’m not sure where this is going.

Lashley leaves as MVP asks if Lashley is really mad.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. MVP

Roode is defending of course. A quick suplex gets two on Roode and a clothesline sends him outside. Back in and the crowd is completely behind Roode, only to have MVP take him down with a facebuster. Ballin Elbow and a fisherman’s suplex get two and we hit a crossface chicken wing on the champion.

Bobby fights up and avoids the running boot in the corner, setting up a Roode Bomb attempt. MVP flips out though and avoids a Blockbuster before kicking Bobby in the face for two. The Drive By misses and Bobby gets two off a rollup. Now the running boot connects but the Playmaker is countered into the Roode Bomb for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. This felt like a post show dark match instead of the TV main event with Roode beating him in a hurry and barely being in any real trouble. It’s clear that we’re going to get Lashley vs. Roode III eventually so this was little more than a pit stop for the champ.

Post match Lashley comes in and spears Roode down. He walks past MVP to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. If TNA is about to wrap up, this is the perfect way to start going out: potential to be interesting but tripping up too many times on the way there. The wrestling wasn’t bad tonight, save for the stupid ECW match. That’s another thing TNA has done to death over the years: try to imitate some other company in hopes of generating nostalgia. It works for awhile, but then TNA just can’t let it go and be its own company. The show was good enough tonight but as usual lately, TNA seems to be content sticking with basics instead of trying to do anything special.

Results

Hardys b. Samoa Joe/Low Ki – Moonsault to Low Ki

D-Von/Tommy Dreamer b. Magnus/Bram – DDT to Magnus

Havok b. Gail Kim – Chokeslam

Bobby Roode b. MVP – Roode Bomb




Bound For Glory 2014: Some Thing Never Change

Bound For Glory 2014
Date: October 12, 2014
Location: Korakuen Hall, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Official subtitle: TNA sends its B team to Japan for a tape delayed Wrestle-1 show with matches first mentioned on TV four days ago that has nothing to do with current storylines that they have the nerve to ask you to pay $50 for while shouting about how this is all about giving the fans the best. FEEL THE ELECTRICITY! Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how this is a night unlike any other and how the biggest stars of both promotions are going at it. We also get a video on the Muta vs. Sanada feud.

The arena isn’t very big and only holds about 2,000 people.

JB welcomes us to the show and we’re ready to go.

Manik vs. Minoru Tanaka

It’s back in a four sided ring. Feeling out process to start until Tanaka scores with a nice dropkick. Manik comes right back by sending him out to the floor but misses a plancha. He goes under the ring though and sneaks up on Tanaka for a neckbreaker. A dropkick gets two for Manik and he cranks on the arm while holding a chinlock.

Tanaka gets suplexed down for two as Tenay talks about Manik being the youngest non-Japanese wrestler to ever perform in New Japan. There’s something close to a story here as Tanaka used to mentor Manik at the start of his career. Not that there’s any hostility or anything but they did know each other before this. A missile dropkick and knee drop get two for Tanaka but Manik dropkicks him back to the floor. Tanaka blocks another dive with a kick to the face and hits a middle rope moonsault to send Manik into the barricade.

Back in and Manik avoids a charge and hits another missile dropkick before throwing him into the air for a kick to the face. Tanaka gets his knees up to block a frog splash before yet another running dropkick sends Manik into the corner. A superplex into a hiptoss gets two on Manik as the fans are finally getting into this. They trade some nice rollups until Manik plants him with a brainbuster for another near fall. Manik gets the same off a gutbuster but walks into a kick to the head followed by a cross armbreaker for the submission at 9:57.

Rating: B-. This was actually a solid back and forth match but it sums up the problem with this entire show: I have no reason to care about these guys and the entire show is going to be based on the action. Something tells me the rest of the card isn’t going to be this solid, and this match wasn’t even all that great. Still though, good opener.

We’ll be looking at great moments in Team 3D’s history, starting with Slammiversary 2006 against Rick Steiner and Animal. They couldn’t even get one of the 3D vs. Steiners matches? We see the last three minutes or so.

Ethan Carter III talks about stabbing Spud in the heart with his words on Wednesday. Spud knew he was on borrowed time when he allowed Dixie to be sent through a table. Ethan has a replacement for Spud though and he’ll debut on Wednesday. He’s ready to start EC3 Year 2 with a win over a former sumo wrestler tonight.

We recap Ethan’s rookie year in TNA where he still hasn’t submitted or been pinned.

Ethan Carter III vs. Ryota Hama

Before the match Ethan is pleased with the respect the fans show him here. He speaks “Japanese”, meaning very slow English, talking about how he’s rich, undefeated and good. Carter talks about beating every TNA Hall of Famer at their own game so he’s going to slam Hama tonight. He says slam ham over and over again and declares himself huge in Japan.

Hama is disturbingly fat and dresses exactly like Rikishi. He powers Carter into the corner with ease of course so Carter bails to the floor. Tenay tries to give us a brief history of Japanese wrestling as Carter gets dropped with a shoulder block. Back in and Hama runs him over out of a sumo position but misses a big fat splash. Carter of course can’t slam him and a big elbow drop gets two. A running Umaga attack in the corner gets the same but Hama misses a seated senton. Carter still can’t slam him and Hama falls on top for two. We get the required Stink Face but Carter comes back with a 1%er for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: D. Remember when I said it wasn’t going to stay as good as the opener? I was correct earlier than I thought with this standard comedy match. Go back and watch any given Rikishi match and you’ve seen the same match you got here. Nothing to see here but at least Carter won.

Team 3D vs. Beer Money from Lockdown 2009.

MVP talks about how awesome the Japanese wrestlers are and how they put fear in the hearts of sports entertainers. He doesn’t know much about Sakamoto but the little bit he’s seen hasn’t impressed him. Tonight though, Sakamoto will be impressed.

MVP vs. Kazma Sakamoto

Remember Tensai’s worshipper? Well he returns here as a, ahem, star. MVP is the huge face here due to his time in New Japan. He takes Sakamoto down as Tenay recaps Sakamoto’s time in WWE. Sakamoto runs from MVP as we really haven’t had a ton of contact yet. MVP gets in a shot to knock Sakamoto out to the floor as Tenay’s history lessons continue.

Back in and MVP drops some knees on the face for two but Sakamoto comes back with uppercuts. A few kicks to the legs have MVP in trouble and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Sakamoto misses the Ballin Elbow and gets clotheslined in the corner. MVP nips up and hits the real Ballin Elbow followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Sakamoto misses a running knee and gets his leg kicked out, setting up a Shining Wizard for the pin at 8:02.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here as it was just a step above a squash for MVP. Sakamoto never posed a threat here and MVP was over like free beer in a frat house. This was another short match that didn’t mean anything and was there for the live crowd instead of the PPV crowd, but that’s the case for the entire card.

Samoa Joe talks about how awesome the X-Division is and how tough a night his opponents are in.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Low Ki

Joe is defending. Hayashi is probably best known in America as a low level cruiserweight guy about fourteen years ago. Ki takes over to start but Joe crushes both guys in the corner and kicks Kaz in the head. There’s the chop to Hayashi’s back but he fires off right hands to the champ’s face and knocks Joe to the floor. The fans are behind Low Ki as he kicks both guys down and gets two on Joe. Both challengers head to the floor and get taken out by a big dive as we see the crowd sitting still yet chanting at the same time.

Back in and Low Ki chops at Joe but the champ busts out his powerbomb into the crab into the STF until Hayashi remembers he’s in this match and puts Joe in a Crossface without breaking the hold on Ki. Hayashi hits a kind of Zig Zag for two on Joe with Ki making the save. A quick Warrior’s Way gets two on Kaz and they head outside so Joe can nail a double dive. Back in and Kaz charges into a Rock Bottom out of the corner but Low Ki breaks up the MuscleBuster. That earns him a Koquina Clutch and Ki passes out to retain Joe’s title at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Not bad for the most part here but it didn’t mean anything for the most part. This was the same three way style match TNA has done a dozen times with Hayashi just being a warm body to fill out the match. The fact that the winner was already spoiled with the TV tapings didn’t help either.

Joe thanks the fans in Japanese and says they’re here to bring the world together for the fans. He is Samoa Joe and he is professional wrestling.

Another great Team 3D moment: putting Dixie through a table.

Dreamer says he’s going to do the hardcore thing one more time with Team 3D. He looks like he’s about to cry because that’s all Tommy Dreamer does anymore.

Jiro Kuroshio/Yusuke Kodama vs. Andy Wu/El Hijo del Pantera

Wrestle-1 match and I have no idea who any of these guys are. Wu, a guy that moves a lot, starts with Kuroshio and Andy ducks a kick to the face. Kuroshio wrestles in a jacket for some reason. Off to Kodama and Pantera for a gymnastics demonstration capped off by a hurricanrana from Pantera. An armdrag puts Kodama on the floor for a big flip dive from Pantera. Back in and Kuroshio slams Pantera down and adjusts his hair during the cover.

Kuroshio gets two more off a standing corkscrew moonsault but stops to check his hair. Back to Kodama for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Pantera as this just keeps going. Pantera finally crawls over for the hot tag and Wu speeds things up a bit with flips. Kodama gets double teamed into a 619 for two from Pantera. Wu dives over the top onto Kuroshio and Kodama kicks Patnera in the face for two. Kuroshio hits a big flip dive to take out Wu and Kodama nails a corkscrew moonsault for the pin on Pantera at 9:20.

Rating: C+. Well that happened. I still have almost no idea who any of these people are and I have almost no reason to care about any of them but, Kuroshio does indeed wrestle in a jacket. It was your regular cruiserweight style tag match and odds are I won’t remember it in about fifteen minutes.

Video on Team 3D’s career and how much they deserve to be in the Hall of Fame.

We see Tommy Dreamer’s induction speech and, say it with me, he cries. Team 3D doesn’t have a ton to say here other than how hard they’ve worked to get here and how glad they are to be here. You would think they could at least throw on a suit though.

Team 3D vs. Tommy Dreamer/Abyss

No stipulations here for a change. I’m sure the rules will be enforced too. Dreamer has a headband on to pay homage to Terry Funk. Long intros fill even more time and the fans want tables. Ray speaks some Japanese and we get handshakes from everyone but Abyss. Dreamer and D-Von do some basic stuff to start before it’s off to Abyss and Ray. Tenay gets on my nerves even more by talking about the Full Metal Mayhem match from Impact. They slug it out very slowly until Ray nails a Rock Bottom.

Abyss pops up with a chokeslam but Ray pops up. Ray avoids a splash and D-Von comes in to clothesline Abyss out to the floor. The reverse 3D plants Dreamer as they’re still in about second gear. Dreamer takes What’s Up and it’s table time. The tables are much smaller here and we get the required ECW chant. The fight heads outside and Abyss rings the bell on Ray’s head. They fight around the arena and now it’s time for all of the weapons.

We get duels with chairs and kendo sticks but Dreamer DDTs Ray as Abyss chokeslams D-Von. Dreamer is thrown into a trashcan in the corner and the Black Hole Slam gets two on Ray. Abyss nails him in the ribs with a few chair shots but D-Von hits his spinebuster for two on Abyss. D-Von goes up to drive Abyss through a table, only to have Ray powerbomb Dreamer through it instead. Abyss busts out the tacks and walks into 3D onto said tacks for no cover. Dreamer brings in the cane and takes a 3D of his own for the pin at about 13:00.

Rating: D+. This show is getting old in a hurry. This was the same hardcore brawl we’ve seen a dozen times before with nothing new and no doubt as to who was going to win. Tenay mentioning the great Full Metal Mayhem match makes me want to just go find a copy of that match instead, which is a really bad sign for your biggest show of the year.

Post match Team 3D says they love Japan

Velvet says this is her first time in Japan (it isn’t even her first time this year) and says she isn’t afraid of Havok.

We recap Havok winning the Knockouts Title.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is challenging and is suddenly a face over here. Havok is from Defiance, Ohio. Velvet fires off kicks to start and hits a few middle rope ax handles. The champ comes back with shoulders in the corner and a backbreaker. Off to a bearhug followed by a slam but Velvet fights back with almost no effect. A headscissors puts Havok down and a middle rope cross body gets two. Not that it matters as Havok grabs another bearhug for the submission at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t half bad with Velvet fighting instead of getting squashed. It still wasn’t any good but Havok is a good choice for a monster champion. Whoever eventually beats her is going to look like a big deal and that’s the whole point of building up a monster as champion.

James Storm is sitting in what looks like a temple, talking about cutting down Great Muta for the sake of the Revolution.

We recap Muta/Tajiri vs. Sanada/Storm. Muta mentored Sanada but Storm turned Sanada to the dark side. Tonight it’s about revenge. This is the only match that has gotten any sort of a build.

Great Sanada/James Storm vs. Tajiri/Great Muta

Storm gives a great speech about turning one of Japan’s own against them. That little bit of storyline actually felt really refreshing. Muta sprays mist to start and gets things going with Sanada. They fight over a leglock on the mat until Muta comes up and works on the arm. It’s back down to the mat and Sanada sprays Mist at Muta but only hits air. Off to Tajiri vs. Storm with James taking a bunch of kicks. Tajiri grabs the beard but it’s quickly back to Sanada, only to have him get low bridged out to the floor.

Sanada kicks Tajiri to the floor and then under the ring as things slow WAY down. Tajiri has taken mist off camera and is blinded back inside. Storm and Sanada start slowly double teaming as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Muta. A dropkick gets two for Sanada and we hit the nerve hold.

Back up and Sanada pulls out a white stick of some kind of nail Tajiri again. Tajiri comes right back with a kick and tags in Muta to clean house. Muta hammers on Sanada and drops an elbow for two, only to get caught in Closing Time. Storm drops a top rope elbow and Sanada’s moonsault gets two. Everything breaks down and Storm is backdropped to the floor. Tajiri superkicks Sanada down and it’s a double mist and the Shining Wizard to give Muta the pin at 10:50.

Rating: D+. I just sat through this whole show for an eleven minute main event. Storm not taking the pin is a good thing, but it’s not like this match means anything at the end of the day. However, there’s one thing that stands out above all this: at the end of the day, the two oldest guys on the show stood tall to end the show. Some things never change.

Storm chokes Muta with the bullrope so Team 3D makes the save to end the show. That would be four guys at least 41 years old ending the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the thing: the show itself was just ok. Some of the matches weren’t bad but for the most part it was just the same kind of matches we’ve seen in other forms dozens of times. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but it’s totally forgettable with nothing standing out as a great or even very good match. The opener is the best match and the X-Division Title match is good depending on your taste but I’ve seen it done too many times.

That brings us to the big problem: this is Bound For Glory, not some One Night Only show. The Global Impact Japan show was better than this with more title matches, two title changes and cost $15 compared to $50 for this one. The stalling was just pathetic and made me feel like I was watching a low rent show from a low rent promotion.

TNA rolled the dice here and I can get the idea behind it, but not for Bound For Glory or when TNA is in the spot they’re in. They don’t have another live event for three months and the only thing you hear about TV is “it’s coming”. This show might have helped set up stuff in Asia, but if there’s no product in America, there’s nothing to ship out to Asia. The problem is this show was all for the Japanese fans, and the last thing TNA should be doing right now is flipping off their loyal fans, which are the only things keeping them going. This was a bad idea but the intentions were good at least.

Results

Minoru Tanaka b. Manik – Cross armbreaker

Ethan Carter III b. Ryoto Hama – 1%er

MVP b. Kazma Sakamoto – Shining Wizard

Samoa Joe b. Low Ki and Kaz Hayashi – Koquina Clutch to Ki

Jiro Kuroshio/Yusuke Kodama b. El Hijo del Pantera/Andy Wu – Corkscrew moonsault to Pantera

Team 3D b. Abyss/Tommy Dreamer – 3D to Dreamer

Havok b. Velvet Sky – Bearhug

Great Muta/Tajiri b. Great Sanada/James Storm

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Bound For Glory 2014 Preview

Joe, Carter, MVP, Team 3D, Tanaka, Norvus (because they’re the first team I saw), Havok, Muta/Tajiri.

Preview over.