Impact Wrestling Results – August 22, 2013: Get Ready To Fly Into A Dull Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 22, 2013
Location: Constant Center, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

We’re still in Virginia for the other main event from Hardcore Justice. Tonight’s main event is the Mafia vs. the Aces in a big ten man brawl with the person taking the fall being banished from Impact Wrestling forever. Other than that we’ve got another four way match for twenty points in the BFG Series. We’ve got about a month left in the entire Series so points are becoming more and more important. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Aces and 8’s in the back. Ray and Anderson get in an argument over whose corner Tito Ortiz will be in tonight. The world champion tells Anderson to worry about his own business.

Here are Roode, Daniels and Kaz to open us up in the arena. Roode congratulates Ray on becoming a two time world champion by screwing the system. Now it’s Ray with the target on his chest and it’s going to be one of them that will take the title from him. Roode talks about setting the tables for 20 points in the Series last week and Kaz says he did the same. Tonight Daniels will complete the sweep for the Extraordinary Gentlemen’s Organization because he’s the best street fighter in TNA.

Roode says they’re 25% of the BFG Series but they should be 1/3. They want to add Austin Aries to the group because it’s the best chance Aries has at becoming the world champion. Instead they get Storm and Gunner, who are tag champions in case you had forgotten. Storm doesn’t like hearing Roode talk about trust because it’s only a matter of time before Roode turns on Daniels and Kaz. James takes off his shirt and is ready to fight, with the tag champions clearing the ring. Apparently this is going to be a tag match.

James Storm/Gunner vs. Kazarian/Bobby Roode

Non-title. It’s a brawl to start with the champions in control as we go to an early break. Back with Roode sending Gunner into the corner and chopping away before Gunner comes back with forearms of his own. Kaz comes in with a spinwheel kick for two as Storm makes the save. Everyone is in jeans here to give it more of a street fight feel. Roode comes back in for some shots of his own before Kaz gets two off a legdrop.

Gunner no sells a kick to the chest and hits an Irish Curse to allow for the double tag. Off to Roode vs. Storm with James cleaning house. The corner enziguri drops Kaz and a top rope elbow gets two on Roode. Everything breaks down and Storm hits the Closing Time to put Roode down. Roode pulls the referee in the way of the Last Call, so Kaz takes the kick instead. A low blow from Bobby is enough for the pin on Storm at 9:45.

Rating: C. These four guys and Daniels have been stuck in midcard limbo for a good while now and it’s sad to see them not move up at all. Storm had so much going for him last year but it was all thrown away and has never come back. It’s a shame too as he could have been a huge deal for the company. The match was just ok and didn’t have time to go anywhere given the commercial.

Aries thinks he has a lot of offers on the table and has an idea.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Manik

Non-title. Sonjay tries to dive onto the champion during the entrance but Manik dives to safety. Manik hooks a quick Black Widow submission hold but Sonjay rolls out. They’ve moving very fast out there. Dutt misses a big kick to the head but hits a standing moonsault for two. Sonjay puts on a modified Octopus Hold before shifting to a double arm choke.

Back up and Manik does his land in the ropes spot and avoids a charging Dutt to send him to the floor. A slingshot dropkick gets two for Manik and he counters a Rocker Dropper into a sitout powerbomb for two. Manik charges into a boot in the corner and hits a running boot of his own, setting up a springboard splash for two. The moonsault double stomp doesn’t connect and Manik hits his wheelbarrow gutbuster for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C. Standard flippy match here and if you’re into that style, you would have liked this. There was nothing special to see here as I’m not huge on Manik for the most part. He’s just another guy in the division and happens to be the flavor of the month with the title. Nothing to see here, as usual once Destination X is over.

Mr. Anderson gives the bikers a pep talk.

Sting and the Mafia huddle.

Bound For Glory Series: Hernandez vs. Joseph Park vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Jay Bradley

This is a street fight for twenty points. It’s a big brawl to start with SuperMex clotheslining Bradley to the floor so Daniels can get two off a rollup. Eric Young is in Park’s corner because TNA loves their wacky pairings. Bradley breaks up a cover by Hernandez with a chair to the back before wrapping the chair around Hernandez’s neck to ram it into the corner. Park is back up and helps SuperMex double team the other guys while doing his “Who me?” schtick. Bradley and Daniels are both splashed in the corner and we take a break.

Back with Hernandez cracking Daniels in the back with a kendo stick but Daniels backdrops him on the stage. Back in the ring and park avoids a big boot from Bradley in the corner but Bradley gets in a shot to stop his momentum. Park takes Bradley down to avoid a chair shot but his Boston crab is broken up by a Roode/Kaz distraction. Eric Young tries to make the save but gets beaten down as well. Bradley is back up to beat on Daniels in the ring. A big boot sets up a chair shot to the back followed by a suplex onto the chair.

Kaz breaks up the Boom Stick as Hernandez hits the charge from the ramp over the ropes to take Daniels down. Daniels escapes the Border Toss and Austin Aries is here. His distraction allows Daniels to hit a running STO on Hernandez, but after high fiving Roode, Aries lays out Daniels with the brainbuster. Bradley knocks out Park with brass knuckles but they bust Park open, meaning it’s Abyss mode. The Black Hole Slam is good for the pin on Bradley at 12:20.

Rating: C. I know I’ve used that rating a lot tonight but that’s the case with almost everything tonight. It’s just ok with none of the matches standing out. That’s the case here again: Hernandez does his power stuff, EGO does their stuff, Bradley is in way over his head and Park is very cautious until he bleeds and then he snaps for the win. It’s not a bad or boring match but it’s like a ham sandwich: it’ll get you through the day but it’s nothing you’ll remember in about an hour.

We recap the far too long Brooke Hogan/Bully Ray saga.

Here’s the new world champion, flanked by Tito Ortiz, for his championship celebration. Ray asks how it feels to have the wool pulled over your eyes again. Do you know who he is? He’s Bully Ray, the world champion. Notice that he didn’t say the two time world champion, because he doesn’t count Sabin’s fluke win. This brings him to his new best friend: Tito Ortiz. Tito says he’ll knock Rampage out again on November 2nd.

Ray says if you thought that was a surprise, there’s an even bigger shock. This one is about Ray and his woman. It’s time for the world to know about them. He tells Brooke to come out here but it’s Brooke Tessmacher instead of Hogan. They kiss in the ring and Ray says now he has the hot Brooke. Ray brags about being unstoppable and says there’s only one thing left to do. Brooke bites his ring off and spits it out, which I guess is writing Brooke Hogan off TV. I think this was supposed to be some big surprise but no one seemed to care.

ODB vs. Gail Kim

ODB shoves her around to start and rams Gail face first into the buckle. Gail heads to the floor for a breather as ODB rubs her own body in the ring. Back in and Gail takes her down by the arm and sends it into the buckle. ODB is put on the top rope and taken down by a shoulder breaker for two before Gail hooks a hammerlock.

Gail goes to snap the arm over the ropes but gets hit low to give ODB a breather. Back to the corner for ODB’s crotch rams (don’t ask if you don’t know) followed by the middle rope Thesz Press for two. A superplex puts Gail down but it hurts ODB’s shoulder again, meaning it’s only good for two. Gail pops back up with a crucifix for the pin at 6:42.

Rating: D. There was no heat to this match at all and it didn’t seem like the wrestlers cared either. ODB’s one joke has been played out for years now and for the life of me I don’t get why the fans cheer for her so much. This was a very dull match as the show continues to just fill in time until the main event.

Jeff Hardy talks about what winning the Bound For Glory Series means.

Austin Aries says he’s going to win the world title with his own skills alone.

Hulk Hogan will be back next week after meeting with lawyers.

Chris Sabin says it sucks that Aces and 8’s keep interfering. Rampage had his back and Sabin will get his revenge.

Aces and 8’s vs. Main Event Mafia

Aces and 8’s: Wes Brisco, Garrett Bischoff, Knux, D-Von, Mr. Anderson

Main Event Mafia: Sting, Samoa Joe, Rampage Jackson, Magnus

The loser of the fall is gone from TNA forever and the Mafia comes in down a man due to Angle going to rehab. Before the bell Anderson calls out Ray to sit on the stage and watch. Anderson goes on to say that the Mafia can pick someone to lay down without a fight. Sting says no way because they want to fight. There go the lights for some reason and here’s AJ Styles. He throws the hood back and the music changes to Get Ready To Fly, meaning the Phenomenal One is back and part of the Mafia tonight.

It’s a huge brawl to start until we finally get down to Magnus vs. Wes to start. Magnus throws him into the corner and brings in Joe to pound Brisco down. Joe hits the enziguri in the corner for two before it’s off to Garrett. AJ comes in for the fireman’s carry flip into a backbreaker as we take a break. Back with Magnus in trouble in the Aces corner. The bikers take turns on the Brit with everyone getting in shots.

Garrett gets two off a clothesline as the fans chant YES. Anderson comes in for a suplex before it’s back to D-Von for a neck crank. The fans tell him he sucks and Taz rants about Hogan a bit. The back elbow puts Magnus down again and D-Von Spinaroonis up. Back to Knux for some choking but Magnus scores with a quick DDT for a breather. There’s the hot tag to Sting and everything breaks down. Jackson starts cleaning house but Knux gets in a cheap shot.

Sting takes Knux down with the Death Drop and puts on the Deathlock but D-Von makes the save. Knux can only get two though and things settle down again. AJ gets the hot tag and hits the springboard forearm to D-Von. A backfist and a standing enziguri get two for Styles but everything breaks down again. Styles loads up the Clash on D-Von but has to hit the Pele on Anderson. D-Von spears Styles down but AJ comes right back with the Clash to get rid of D-Von at 16:16.

Rating: C+. The match was ok because it actually got some time. The fans were pleased for AJ’s return to form which has been needed for a long time. Getting rid of D-Von is fine as he doesn’t really do anything other than say TESTIFY. Hopefully it leads to the end of the Aces as they’re so far past their expiration date it’s unreal.

Taz is furious to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was pretty good but it doesn’t safe a very dull show up to that point. I’m glad to see AJ back in his old form but I can’t stand it when a story is just dropped like that. The Aces stuff is beyond boring at this point but them losing a member is a good sign as hopefully they’re gone soon after Bound For Glory. Boring show but helped by a decent main event though.

Results

Kazarian/Bobby Roode b. James Storm/Gunner – Low Blow to Storm

Manik b. Sonjay Dutt – Wheelbarrow gutbuster

Joseph Park b. Jay Bradley, Christopher Daniels and Hernandez – Black Hole Slam to Bradley

Gail Kim b. ODB – Crucifix

Main Event Mafia b. Aces and 8’s – Styles Clash to D-Von

 

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On This Day: August 16, 2009 – Hard Justice 2009: Two Takes On Being A Legend

Hard Justice 2009
Date: August 16, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We continue our backwards trip through TNA as I keep trying to get closer and closer to being done with their PPVs. This is one of three remaining 2009 shows I have so it’s as good a place as any. Anyway the Mafia is still around and the main event (haha) is Angle vs. Sting vs. Morgan for the title. There really isn’t much else as the card is rather lackluster. Then again this isn’t one of TNA’s biggest PPVs. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Morgan for the most part, and how he’s perfect or something. His DNA was sent into space which is rather cool. They don’t talk about anything else here so you can tell it’s a weak card.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Daniels vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequence Creed vs. Suicide vs. DAngelo Dinero

The Guns don’t have their signature music yet. This is the steel asylum, as in the big red cage, and you win by escape. Naturally there are WAY too many people in it so you won’t be able to call a thing in it. Winner gets an X Title shot at No Surrender. This is Pope’s debut. There’s a big hole at the top and you have to climb up to escape, which is hard because the roof curves up.

The fans are behind Pope it seems. Suicide makes a run at it but Creed pulls him down. The Guns beat up Daniels because that’s what they do. The camera has to keep cutting away from the match and various spots because they have to go to other spots. Lethal Consequences takes Red down and the Guns get a dropkick Conchairto to the head of Pope. This is really a collection of spots and not a match.

Daniels takes Lethal off the top and tries a climb, only to be stopped by Dinero. And never mind as Daniels punches the cage and probably breaks his hand. We’re at the point now where most people lay around and wait on two people to do something before getting in there again. The Guns and Lethal Consequences have a mini match with the Guns getting the better of it.

Daniels and Pope keep slugging it out on the top and there’s your Tower of Doom spot. We get a complex four person submission hold with the tag teams again. Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 on Daniels and here comes Red. He takes down just about everyone that was still on their feet/knees and goes up, only for Shelley to make the stop in the corner.

Seven people are standing in one corner or are on the rope in that corner. The eighth comes up because he’s (Sabin) very stupid. Gee, with everyone in one corner, I’m sure there’s nothing he could do in the other five corners right? Everyone gets taken down as Daniels and Red go up. Daniels hooks in a leg and is kind of hanging around. Suicide almost makes it but Pope stops him, only to be stuck in the corner. Daniels finally wakes up and climbs out to win it.

Rating: C+. Really hard to call here as the whole thing was a mess. There’s no flow to it but to be fair it’s supposed to be a big mess I think. You cut this down to four people and you have a FAR better match. That being said at 16 minutes it’s still way too long, but at the same time they were trying and hit the limit with what this match can do under these circumstances I think.

Daniels says the X-Division is awesome. He’ll get the X Title back and AJ needs to come back also.

We run down the card for the ADHD fans out there.

Morgan says he’s in the main event to win, not help Kurt.

We recap the WAY too long Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss feud. Stevie put out a $50,000 bounty on Abyss and it’s about maiming him. The maimer in this case: Jethro Holiday, more commonly known as Trevor Murdoch. Yes, really.

Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday

THIS warranted PPV times. Yes, really. Oh and it’s no DQ/weapons are legal/whatever. Holiday, ever the generic southern/country boy, chops away and gets absolutely nowhere. Abyss claps away like an idiot as we head to the floor. For the second time tonight someone punches something made of metal and Holiday takes over again. Middle rope elbow misses back in as this is already boring.

Abyss finally brings in a chair as Stevie slides in a metal stick or something to Holiday. It’s a baton I think. Abyss fights back with his big man offense like a big boot and backdrop. Let’s clap some more because that’s HARDCORE BABY! Side slam gets two. Holiday gets a chair to Abyss’ balls and a baton shot to the head gets two. More brawling ensues and a chokeslam gets two for Abyss. Holiday gets the Texas standard move in the form of a bulldog for two. Black Hole Slam ends this a second later.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible, but it’s Trevor Murdoch vs. Abyss on PPV. Why in the world did they think this was deserving of about 11 minutes total? Boring match for the most part and just kind of there, which is fine if it’s ok but it’s not in this case. Holiday would do nothing for the most part and would be gone in a few months.

Holiday takes down Stevie post match, I guess turning face.

Angle says he’ll keep the title. He might weigh 180lbs here.

Rob Terry vs. Hernandez

Terry stole Hernandez’s briefcase and Supermex wants it back. Hernandez says the Impact Zone is his house and it’s like Terry stole the case from his family. This is going to be a fight, not a match. The other Brits try to interfere, Hernandez runs them off, bell, shoulderblock, pin. Literally, 9 seconds of the actual match.

Beer Money says they’ll win the Japanese tag titles, because we NEED Japanese tag titles right?

World Elite is awesome apparently and Beer Money is standing in the way of their dominance despite them not really dominating anyone.

IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion

It’s more Japanese tag titles because they’re Japanese so every non-WWE fan loves them right? The Brits have the belts here. Young jumps in on commentary here. The Brits are Magnus and Williams here. Storm and Magnus start us off as the fans chant wanker. Storm makes both Brits look like idiots to start and Roode launches Storm over the top to the floor onto both Brits.

Williams comes in and takes over on Roode, including the always awesome jumping back elbow. Everything breaks down again with Beer Money in control again. This is one of those rather boring matches where not a lot is going on here. We get one of the stupid face in crotch spots from the Brits. The champions take over with some basic leg work on Storm as this is rather boring.

The fans chant for the Cowboy so at least they have the right football team. See how far I have to go for jokes here? Do you see what I do for you people here? Williams drops a knee and Magnus gets two off of it. Weak tag to Roode who hits the Blockbuster for two. There’s the time waster by the challengers and a double team Rock Bottom gets two on Magnus. Young comes in for a distraction and Williams rolls up Roode for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match itself wasn’t really that awful but it was incredibly boring. Not an interesting match in the slightest and that’s saying a lot when it comes to a team as talented as Beer Money. This went nowhere for the most part and the whole thing was just a boring waste of time. Not bad, but the lack of anything interesting killed it deader than Immortal’s current credibility.

Deaner and ODB aren’t funny.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

We waste more time as Velvet and Angelina leave Madison in the ring.

Taz talks for Joe, saying that Hernandez didn’t beat Joe because Joe beat Joe. Joe is going to win the X Title tonight and take it to the Mafia.

XDivision Title: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Joe has his face tattoo still here. The fans chant 187. Joe takes him down with strikes quickly but Homicide uses his technical abilities to take him to the floor. Homicide is considered a ring master but I’ve never really seen it. He’s not bad but I don’t see the genius aspect to him. After a pep talk from Joe it’s time to go back to work for Joe. This is a rather fast paced match which doesn’t really surprise me.

Rana is blocked to send Homicide to the floor and a suicide dive sends him flying. Back in and Joe drops a knee so he can crank on the neck a bit. Powerslam gets two. Homicide tries to fight back but Joe is just too fat. Powerbomb is turned into an STF and into a crossface and into the Rings of Saturn, all by Joe. Homicide finally gets his foot on the ropes to break it up but that was kind of impressive. I think. Actually it wasn’t but it fits the submission aspect of Joe’s character.

Joe hammers away as the fans chant 187 again. I know Impact Zone fans are considered a little slow but they can’t even count to ten properly? Homicide comes back with some clotheslines and gets Joe down. Top rope dropkick sends Joe to the floor and there’s a tope con hilo to take Joe down even more.

Homicide and Taz nearly get into it but that goes nowhere. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring for the champion. Diamond Cutter gets two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) is blocked and Joe can’t quite get the Clutch. Ok so never mind yes he can and Homicide taps almost immediately. Some guy from the toughest place in the world.

Rating: B-. Pretty good here as both guys worked rather well out there. They probably fought a few dozen times in the indies so it’s pretty clear they know each other as well as possible. Better Homicide match than I remember him having more often than not so that’s a nice surprise. Not bad here at all.

Kurt goes to talk to Matt Morgan and doesn’t even knock. Angle tries to make a deal and Morgan agrees that it’s either him or Angle leaving with the title tonight.

We recap the Mafia vs. Team 3D. The Mafia more or less stole the titles from Beer Money. Team 3D complained about getting screwed out of everything (Bubba: “If I knew getting screwed felt this bad, I would have stayed a virgin.”) and therefore wanted a match. Don’t ask me how all of the tag titles worked at this time. With the Japanese belts out there it’s more confusing than an Egyptian restaurant menu.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Team 3D

Falls count anywhere here and they have two referees which is rather smart for once. Sharmell looks good here. Apparently it’s No DQ also, therefore making it a hardcore match. In a Russo company? I’M SHOCKED!!! Big staredown to start and the brawl begins. The fans want tables within ten seconds. Booker gets double teamed and the Mafia complains a lot.

Booker and Steiner yell at Hebner, the outside referee, and it’s time to head into the crowd. We go split screen and it’s one of those annoying ones that has about 30% of the screen devoted to the match and the rest is a big freaking TNA logo. I’ve never gotten why they do that. Is that for people that have bought all the PPV offerings for that night and flip through the channels to decide what to watch?

The races pair off and it’s a big brawl as you would expect from these guys. There’s the required ECW chant. To be fair though, three of these guys were in the original ECW so it’s hard to complain. Steiner gets two on Bubba off of I think a weapon shot. They’ve more or less dropped the split screen at this point, making it kind of hard to follow. I do however really like the falls count anywhere aspect as it means you don’t have to wait for them to get back to the ring for any drama.

Steiner dives off a balcony in the crowd onto Ray for two. Gee it was nice of Ray to stand there for a good ten seconds to wait on him to come crashing down on him like that. Ray and Steiner are at ringside now as are D-Von and Booker. I guess they can’t bare to be apart that long. Steiner gets two on Ray. The pairings haven’t switched for the entire match that I can remember.

The white guys get in the ring and a Steiner Line gets two. The fans still want tables. What’s Up to Steiner which probably doesn’t hurt that much due to the amount of steroids in him. It’s table time now and the fans are in a word really freaking happy with that decision. Steiner gets laid on one but here’s Booker for the save. The Mafia stands around FOREVER while D-Von is sitting on the ropes after being crotched.

The delay allows the Dudleys to set up the Doomsday Device through the table but Booker saves again, moving the table but the move hits like regular. Team 3D in control still here but it’s a Book End for Bubba through the table for two as he actually kicks out instead of having it saved. The Mafia in control now as things kind of grind to a halt. Scratch that as the Dudleys take over again. Back and forth match throughout so far.

Heel miscommunication lets D-Von get a belly to back on Steiner for two. Powerbomb out of the corner gets the same result with the same people. Axe kick misses D-Von and the 3D from 3D gets the pin on Booker, but at the same time Steiner rolls up Bubba and yep it’s a double pin. I was afraid of this. The threes went down at just about the same time which is rather helpful. We actually go to the video and the replay we see shows that those threes hit at the exact same time. The Mafia retain the belts and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. WEAK finish as the video shows it was identical or at least way too close to call.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the ending really hurts it a lot. The fans chant BS during the highlight package which is very true. I mean dude, when EVER do they go to a replay to decide something in wrestling? Not a great brawl or anything but they did a lot of stuff right here. The ending crippled it though and there were a lot of dead spots in there that really hurt it.

Foley isn’t sure if he is ready for Nash or not. He did however get an extra $623 posing for pictures. Not really apparently but that’s the point of the feud. Nash wants the title because it brings him more money. Foley wants the title because wrestlers want to hold titles. I remember really wanting to see this match as the pairing is pretty interesting. Foley puts JB in charge of finding a barbed wire bat.

Recap of Nash vs. Foley which is what I just went over.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Mick Foley

Foley is champion and the Legends Title would evolve into the TV Title. I can’t believe it but the video package actually made me want to watch this again. Oh and Foley won the title from Nash in a tag match. Never been a fan of those but at least Foley pinned Nash for it. Foley waves at Nash just after the bell which is funny for some reason. Nash’s right hand is taped heavier than usual.

Surprisingly technical stuff to start as they lock up a few times. Naturally it turns into more of a brawl but that’s what these two likely should do. Foley hits a running knee lift but a double arm DDT can’t hit. There’s your first hard bump of the match as Foley gets kicked into the guardrail. They brawl outside and Nash takes over. The fans chant “over here” which is kind of a cool chant to me for some odd reason.

Chair shot by Nash hits post but Foley’s hits Big Sexy’s back. Foley tries the elbow off the apron but Nash gets the chair in to block it. Foley’s eye is busted now. Oh man that’s a bad one too. Nash drops some F Bombs and wisely fires jabs in at the eye. There’s blood on the camera which is kind of a cool visual. That’s a sick blood flow and in a very dangerous area too.

Half of Foley’s face is bloody and half isn’t. That’s a creepy/awesome look indeed. Foley says bring it on and actually fires back. A forearm puts Nash down and we get the Mankind rocking back and forth. Foley pulls his hair out as he’s all fired up now. That blood is flowing everywhere. BANG BANG as you can’t even see his eye anymore.

Nash’s forehead is busted a bit now too. Make that a lot now. That’s a GREAT looking cut. Ref is bumped and it’s barbed wire bat time. Tracy Brooks of all people comes out and the distraction is enough for Nash to hit a big boot and something we can’t see that wasn’t the powerbomb for the title.

Rating: C+. I liked it. This was a surprisingly good match here as these two actually had some chemistry. Fun match as their characters and philosophies were perfect opposites and the story made the match for the most part. The ending is fine for the most part and while it was kind of boring from an in ring match, it was still good I though. At least I liked it. Good thing I’m writing this too.

Post match Foley takes the bat to the head and Abyss comes out for the save with a bat of his own.

Sting isn’t worried about Kurt and Matt working together. He’ll never lose hope in the war against the Mafia. Does Sting do anything but go to war with heel factions?

We recap the triple threat. Morgan wanted in the Mafia so they used him as a lackey and then screwed him over. Morgan won a trilogy of matches with AJ to get the spot here. Angle implied that Morgan should help him keep the title and Morgan said no way.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

To waste more time, everyone gets the camera shot of them coming to the ring and then a video about them. Big match intros waste another few minutes. I guess wrestling doesn’t matter yet. Angle is SKINNY here, maybe weighing 170. Morgan and Angle work together to start but Angle gets caught quickly by Sting, getting us down to one on one. Everyone on the floor now and the brawl is on.

Sting works over Morgan, sending him into the railing a few times. Morgan’s wife is here apparently. The Mafia takes over again and the beating continues. Morgan is all like I told you I’d help. Sting again fights them off and takes over for like the third time in this match. Both guys get splashes and Morgan is sent to the floor. Suplex gets two on Kurt who wakes up and drills Sting to take over again.

We talk about AJ not being here and how he has a major announcement on Impact which was to be his retirement until Sting stepped in to save the day. Back in the ring the Angle Slam is countered into a Scorpion attempt but Morgan makes the save. Slam gets two. Ankle lock is reversed and it’s Morgan vs. Sting again. There are the corner elbows and Morgan just drops him instead of hitting a side slam which gets two.

Fallaway slam hits as Kurt really shouldn’t be down this long due to a reversed ankle lock. Angle pulls the top rope down to send Morgan to the floor and the not-exactly-giant isn’t happy. Morgan says the deal is over and hits the Carbon Footprint to take down Kurt on the floor. Well at least he has a reason to be down now. Kurt claims a shoulder injury now. There’s no one to count the pin that Morgan has on Sting now and Matt isn’t pleased.

Scorpion Death Drop in the ring and now Hebner is right there. Does that make Morgan Bret Hart some how? Now Kurt is holding his neck. Make up your crazy mind already dude. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with the kick and Hebner is slow getting there again, only for Kurt to pull him out. “You screwed Matt!” Kurt brings in a chair and takes both guys down with chair shots, good for the pin on Morgan to retain.

Rating: C. Just a triple threat here as not a lot was really accomplished here. Morgan gets screwed over again and Kurt is still champion. Sting of course will keep fighting and that’s about it. The match was just ok and nothing special in the slightest. Not a horrible match or anything but nothing that you couldn’t see on any other show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some decent stuff here and there but overall this just fell flat. It was ALL about the Mafia here and that’s not exactly the most enthralling formula for a PPV. This was certainly a B level PPV and it came off as one: nothing significant seems to have happened, despite both midcard titles changing hands. Nothing to see here as nothing was a particularly great match or even very good. Pretty weak show but not horrid or anything.

 

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Impact Wrestling – August 15, 2013: I’d Pay Per Each View Of This

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 15, 2013
Location: Constant Center, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

This is another special episode with Hardcore Justice. The main event tonight is Bully Ray vs. Chris Sabin for Sabin’s world title inside a cage. We were also supposed to get the Main Event Mafia vs. Aces and 8’s in a loser (of the fall) leaves town match but it was postponed to next week due to “unforeseen circumstances”, whatever that may mean. The show should be fun tonight so let’s get to it.

Bound For Glory Series: Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

This is for 20 points and it’s a ladder match. The clipboard hanging above the ring has a piece of paper with the number 20 on it. Keeping it simple I guess. Kaz goes to the floor to get the first ladder but the other three block him from coming back in. Aries and Kaz fight for the ladder on the ramp with Austin letting go of the ladder to send Kaz to the floor. A top rope ax handle puts Kaz down but AJ knocks Hardy to the floor as well. AJ dives onto Hardy to take him down again and leave Styles as the only man standing.

Kaz gets in a ladder shot to put AJ down before climbing the ladder. Aries comes back in and crotches Kaz against the ladder, leaving Austin vs. Jeff in the ring. Jeff sends him to the floor but AJ pulls the ladder away for a showdown. Hardy tries a quick Twist of Fate but gets shoved off and sent to the announce table on the floor. Kaz comes back in with a slingshot DDT to AJ but has to have a forearm duel with Aries. Styles dropkicks the ladder into the back of Kaz’s head but Aries backdrops AJ to the floor. The company is living up to its name for a change as this has been nonstop action since the bell.

Aries runs interference to stop Jeff and AJ from going up the ladder before sending Kaz head first into the post. Austin tries a climb but gets pulled down by Hardy and Jeff knocks down the other two as well. Jeff and Austin both go up but Kaz and AJ make the save, sending all four guys down as we take a break. Back with Aries going up but being pulled down by Kaz before he gets too far. AJ stops both of them and hits the springboard forearm to send Austin to the ramp. The ladder appears to be bent or broken.

Kaz brings in another ladder to clean house but can’t climb up fast enough. All four guys go up at the same time and AJ gets his fingers on the contract but Aries shakes everything up with a sunset bomb to Hardy. Kaz and AJ are left alone on the ladder and they fight over a suplex off the ladder. Kaz rakes AJ’s eyes to put him down but Styles shoves the ladder over, putting everyone down again.

Aries hits his running dropkick in the corner on Styles and goes up but Hardy makes another save. Styles pulls Aries off the ladder and loads up the Styles Clash but Kaz pulls in a downward spiral on AJ at the same time. Kaz goes up but it’s Jeff making another save. Aries comes out of the corner with a missile dropkick to take them both down and goes up as well, but here are Roode and Daniels for a distraction.

Styles plays Shelton Benjamin by springboarding up to the ladder but Hardy shoves the ladder over, sending both guys to the floor. Roode pulls Hardy down as Daniels distracts the referee but Jeff kicks him off. Daniels slips the appletini to Kaz and Jeff gets blinded, allowing Kaz to get the win at 17:35.

Rating: A-. This was the simple formula of take four guys and let them dive off stuff for fifteen minutes or so. I’m not big on another faction in TNA because they’re already on overload with them, but at least they’re not involved with the other two. The action here was great though and they couldn’t have picked a better opener.

Chris Sabin talks about enjoying watching Team 3D put people through tables. Tonight though, he’s going to be 3-0 against Bully Ray.

Dixie Carter is in the ring with the Main Event Mafia. She talks about Angle being in rehab and how he’ll be there for an indefinite amount of time. Here are the Aces minus Bully before she can get too far into things though. Anderson talks about how the team only has a week to find a replacement. He talks about how Magnus could be leaving and says Magnus used to be the future.

Magnus says they only have a week to find someone new but they might just pull someone out of the audience. Anderson says tonight is the start of a new era for Aces and 8’s and the brawl is on. The Aces beat the Mafia down with ease and stand tall. That’s rather impressive when you have guys like Brisco and Bischoff on one side and a former MMA world champion on another.

Tito Ortiz is here.

Mickie James vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim

This is a hardcore match and not for Mickie’s title. ODB runs them over to start and hits her chest grabbing splashes on both girls in the corner. Mickie pulls her out of the corner but Gail isn’t interested in an alliance. Gail pounds on ODB as Mickie wedges a chair into the corner. ODB is whipped into said chair and the other girls get a stereo two count. Mickie rolls up Gail for two and they slug it out with until Gail is sent to the floor. Kim sends ODB back inside and goes to look for a weapon but gets a knee from Mickie instead.

James finds a kendo stick from somewhere and cracks ODB over the back before choking Gail with it. ODB comes back in and pounds on them with the stick before pulling one of her two bras out of the top to choke both girls with it. Mickie gets in a shot and puts on the figure four around the post as Gail chokes away but they can’t get along again. ODB gets a shot from the flask and sprays Mickie in the face but Gail breaks up the Bam. Another stick shot misses and ODB hits the Bam on Gail on the chair for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. Did you know ODB was uncouth and does stuff that isn’t proper or whatever you call it? Don’t worry if you don’t because TNA will beat it over your head until you get the idea. The match was nothing special and felt more like a WWE style street fight with the really basic weapons and little more.

Sting yells at the Mafia and suggests Aries as a replacement.

Sting pitches Aries a spot in the Mafia but doesn’t get an answer. Aries does seem intrigued though.

Roode says his plan is coming together.

Sting tells the Mafia that Aries said no. Rampage has an idea and will address it in the ring. Joe goes with him and Magnus has an idea for Sting.

We recap Ray vs. Sabin in a nice, comprehensive video. To be fair though there isn’t much to recap.

Ray is on the phone with someone he calls honey and says this hasn’t been a normal relationship. Tonight is about Ray but next week is about the two of them. “I love you too Brooke.”

Here are Jackson and Joe with something to say. Jackson talks about MMA fans calling him a sellout for coming to wrestling. However now that he’s in the Mafia, he feels like he’s in a family. He didn’t come here to get beaten up though, so now he needs to ask an old training partner for his help. Jackson calls out Tito Ortiz and plugs the Bellator PPV several times. Rampage offers Tito the spot on the Mafia team next week but Ray interrupts (to the wrong music) before we can get an answer. Ray says he’d come in there right now if he didn’t have a title match later tonight. Ray threatens them, Ortiz is held back, that’s about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

This is a tables match with the first person to drive someone else through a table getting 20 points. Magnus jumps Roode during his entrance and we start fast. They head inside as Joe and Anderson brawl on the floor with no tables brought in yet. Joe throws the first one in before taking Roode down with a powerslam. Anderson tries the rolling senton on Anderson but Magnus makes the save. The Mafia teams up to clean house but both of them try powerbombs through the table at the same time. Anderson and Roode fight out and turn the table over as we get a makeshift tag match.

Everyone heads to the floor and Joe rings the bell on top of Roode’s crotch. Anderson tries a Mic Check off the ramp through a table but Magnus counters into a failed powerbomb bid. A low blow puts the Brit down and Joe rings the bell again. The pairings switch off and Joe hits the Ole kick minus the Ole on Anderson. Back inside Magnus’ powerslam through the table is escaped and he walks into the Roode spinebuster. Everyone is back inside now and the Mafia is in trouble. Joe is whipped into Roode for a clothesline, sending Bobby to the outside.

Joe hits the suicide dive to take Roode out and Anderson gets caught in a bad looking Snow Plow. The table is set again but Anderson takes Magnus down with the Mic Check. Joe comes back in to chop Anderson and loads up the Muscle Buster but Roode moves the table. Roode sends Joe to the floor and puts Magnus on the table, only to get crotched on the top by the Samoan. Cue Kazarian to distract Joe, allowing Daniels to throw the appletini into Magnus’ face. Roode powerbombs Magnus through the table for the 20 points at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This was fun but ran a bit long. The ending being the same as the first one was fine but it didn’t really surprise anyone. I’m not a fan of the 20 points thing here because it sent Kaz and now Roode from the bottom to the top in one night, basically making whole months worthless.

Anderson and Ray get in an argument over Anderson costing Ray the title. Ray doesn’t know if he can win and Anderson says the club is here to help him. Anderson says he isn’t an enemy but Ray says he doesn’t seem like an ally.

Next week it’s Jay Bradley vs. Hernandez vs. Daniels vs. Joseph Park in a 20 point street fight.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Chris Sabin

In a cage with Sabin defending and if Ray loses, he never gets another shot at the gold. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. I think it’s pin/submission/escape here but the announcers don’t make it clear. Ray scores a quick slam but Sabin pops right back up. Another slam puts Sabin down even harder but he shoves Ray back. There’s a third hard slam but Sabin comes back with some armdrags and a dropkick to send Ray into the corner. Some forearms in the corner set up a delayed dropkick but Ray sends him onto the top rope. The champion comes off with a cross body for two and dropkicks Ray’s leg out.

Sabin goes up but gets crotched and LAUNCHED into the cage with authority. I’m guessing Bully’s authority but it isn’t really clear. Back from a break with Ray in full control and getting two off a big elbow drop. He shouts at Sabin to hit him in the face and the champion does just that, coming out of the corner with forearms to the face. Ray gets caught in a backslide for two but takes Sabin’s head off to regain control. Bully loads up a huge powerbomb but Sabin slips down into a sleeper, only to have Ray ram him into the cage for the break.

Sabin comes out of the corner with a nice tornado DDT but can’t immediately follow up. They slug it out and the champion gets all fired up by chopping Ray down. He actually hits a Death Valley Driver on the big man but doesn’t cover. Sabin takes Ray’s Aces cut off and whips Ray across the back with it, only to get kicked in the face for two. A Samoan drop gets two on Sabin but Ray gets caught while climbing. Sabin tries a rana out of the corner but drops Ray down on his shoulder, sending Ray across the mat, clutching his shoulder and screaming in pain.

Hail Sabin is countered into a suplex and Ray wants the door open. Sabin tries to slide past Ray but gets pulled back in. Ray misses a charge and sends the referee into the cage, knocking him out cold. Sabin hits a missile dropkick on Ray but there’s no referee to count the pin. Anderson slams the cage door against Sabin’s shoulder but Sabin pops right back up. Anderson: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” Cue the Mafia for the save but Ortiz hits Rampage with the hammer, allowing Ray to kill Sabin with the powerbomb for the pin and the title at 18:08.

Rating: C+. Good cage match here but you knew the swerve was coming. Ortiz turning (was that a turn? I don’t think he was ever a face to begin with) isn’t really a surprise and it was pretty obvious that Ray was walking out with the gold. It’s a good cage match but the lack of any drama really didn’t help much.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really solid show and with the extra matches that are scheduled for next week it would have been even better. If only there was a way to have all the stuff you get on TV plus a bit more, say on a different night of the week to make it feel special…..nah that would never work. Anyway this was the usual good stuff from TNA when they try and have no Hogans dragging them to a grinding halt. The problem I see for TNA though is they pretty much have three stories going: Ray’s ongoing story, the Series and the Mafia vs. the Aces and 8’s. If you don’t like those, you’re out of luck. Good show tonight.

Results

Kazarian b. AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries – Kazarian pulled down the clipboard

ODB b. Gail Kim and Mickie James – Bam on a chair to Kim

Bobby Roode b. Magnus, Samoa Joe and Mr. Anderson – Roode powerbombed Magnus through a table

Bully Ray b. Chris Sabin – Powerbomb

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TNA One Night Only – 10 Reunion: Stop Me If You’ve Seen This Before

10 Reunion
Date: August 2, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s a non-PPV month which means it’s time for another One Night Only. The theme this time is a celebration of the first ten years of the company, presumably because 10 Reunion sounds better than 11 Reunion. In other words, it’s more of the same idea but with regular matches instead of anything themed. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows a few clips from the early days then jumps ahead four years to Angle debuting. Now it’s 2010 with Hogan debuting and the Band walking out. We get Angle headbutting Joe and various things happening to Abyss, plus the XXX vs. AMW cage match (Elix Skipper continues to amaze me) and various other moments.

We get a music video, set to a song about taking it higher and higher, of highlights from the X-Division with a focus on the old weekly PPV days. Nice stuff here.

Kenny King vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams

It’s not enough that I have to watch these things on Impact but now I have to be bored by them on the PPVs too. Oh joy. It would seem more appropriate to have Dutt vs. Williams here as King wasn’t around for much of the first ten years, if any at all. Also spare telling me that he was around in 2006. Anyway Petey seems to be the crowd favorite here but both guys send him down in the corner. Sonjay sends King to the floor but Petey grabs him in a wristlock.

Off to some Rings of Saturn into a rollup for two on Dutt but now King is back in. Both Dutt and Kenny are put in 619 position but King gets up before taking a dropkick to the back. Sonjay hits a running forearm to Sonjay in the corner and bulldogs him down onto King for two. Kenny takes both guys down and sends Dutt to the floor. A legdrop crushes Williams for two and Dutt is dropkicked back to the floor. Off to a crossface chickenwing on Petey but King is no Bob Backlund so Petey fires off some elbows to escape.

Petey comes back with some chops but Sonjay has to come back in to break up the Royal Flush. Sonjay shoves Williams down to avoid a superplex but King crotches Dutt on the top. King is clotheslined to the floor and Williams snaps off a slingshot hurricanrana. Back in and Dutt hits a quick hurricanrana on Williams but King comes in to put Dutt down with snake eyes. We hit the chinlock on Sonjay followed by a running knee to the ribs for two. Williams comes back in to drop both guys but gets caught in a Sonjay small package for another near fall.

King and Williams are sent to the floor and Sonjay hits a big dive to take both of them out. Dutt seems to be the only one the fans like but King whips him into the barricade to take over again. Petey and Kenny get back in with Williams hitting the slingshot Codebreaker for two. Taz says Petey looks like Peter Boyle (“Not that Peter Boyle!” Thank goodness Taz is back….I guess.) as Dutt breaks up the Canadian Destroyer on King.

A slingshot legdrop to the back of Petey’s head gets two for Sonjay but Kenny kicks Dutt in the back of the head. Sonjay breaks up another Destroyer attempt and dropkicks both guys down but misses the moonsault double stomp. The Destroyer connects on Sonjay but King comes in with the Royal Flush on Petey for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t bad but MAN this went too long. It was obvious that King was winning as he’s the only guy currently on the active roster and Heaven forbid we don’t want the reunion show to be about the past right? This match wasn’t bad but it didn’t need to run over twelve minutes like it did here. That’s too long for a spot fest with no story.

We’re going to be counting down the Top Ten moments in TNA history from Slammiversary in 2012.

10 is Jarrett vs. Raven with Sabu debuting to prevent Jarrett from winning the title. That doesn’t sound like a top ten moment to me.

9. Hulk Hogan debuts and won’t rejoin the Band.

Video on Gail Kim, including her beating Awesome Kong for the first Knockouts title in a good match. We also get a video on Velvet Sky, talking about her being bullied as teenager. I still have a BIG problem believing that an athletic chick who looks like that was bullied a lot in high school. These two traded the title a few times and tonight it’s a grudge match.

Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Tenay can’t convince Taz to say let the pigeons loose again. They get into a hip shaking contest to start until Velvet dropkicks her out to the floor. Back in and another dropkick puts Gail down for two and a bulldog gets the same. Velvet pounds away in the corner but is dropped face first on the buckle to change momentum. A clothesline gets two for Kim as Taz accuses the referee of cheating.

Velvet comes back with forearms of her own and Gail waves at Taz for no apparent reason. Gail takes Velvet down as Taz compares Velvet to the Berzerker John Nord. Velvet’s knee is bent around Gail’s neck as Taz makes jokes about the referee selling illegal DVDs. Velvet makes her comeback with some clotheslines and a headscissors followed by a bad spear for two. Eat Defeat is countered into In Yo Face to give Velvet the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was ok and it’s nice to see two girls who were actually important to TNA over the years, but you expect more from a ten year reunion show match. The same is true of the opener. That’s the best we’re going to get to celebrate the signature divisions of the company? The match wasn’t bad but it’s nothing memorable at all.

8. Kurt Angle moonsaults Mr. Anderson at Lockdown, mostly missing.

7. Joe vs. Daniels vs. AJ in the Unbreakable three way. That should be higher up. Like WAY higher up.

We’re also getting the intro on each individual moment which is a waste of time. Gee I wonder why they’re doing that.

Joseph Park says his time here has been unbelievable. He’s reached the bar he set for himself and is proud to have beaten Joey Ryan. He’s only been here for a year but his brother Chris (You know, Abyss?) was here for over seven years. Tonight, Joseph will take his place in the gauntlet match and who knows what’s going to happen. Maybe at TNA 20 Park can be the star.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Man TNA LOVES them some gauntlet matches. Basically this is a catch all mini Royal Rumble. Johnny Devine is #1 and Shark Boy is #2. Devine takes him down and pounds away with stomps to the ribs. After that, Devine stomps away even more before trying a double jump moonsault and TOTALLY botching it, falling off the middle rope onto the back of his head a good two feet from Shark Boy. Sharky throws him out to end Devine’s embarrassment.

Chase Stevens of the Naturals is #3 and is still as generic as ever. He pounds on Sharky for awhile until Shark Boy comes back with a Thesz Press. He’s a Stone Cold ripoff remember. Cassidy Riley, a former Raven tribute character, is #4. Seriously, these are the best guys you could find? Riley mostly misses a Lionsault on Shark Boy and covers like the nitwit that he is. Stevens and Riley are both guys in trunks with nothing distinguishing about them, making this match feel even more dull. They double team Shark Boy down and yell at the crowd, who likely doesn’t know who they are.

Here’s Robbie E at #5 because we don’t have enough heels in there already. Stevens and Riley double team him as well before pairing off with the comedy guys. Sharky hits a Dead Sea Drop on Stevens but Robbie knocks them all down and stomps around in a circle. Jesse Godderz is #5 and I groan out loud.

At this point it’s very clear that these themes mean absolutely nothing and that these matches are taking place to fill in time on a PPV they know people aren’t going to buy. TNA may not be the biggest promotion of all time, but there’s an actual history to them that they could present a good show from. To throw out a few no names like Riley and Stevens along with some comedy jobbers isn’t a tribute. It’s a way to con TNA fans out of a few bucks and fill in time on a show so you can’t be accused of flat out lying.

Anyway, Jesse and Robbie yell at each other long enough to have Riley and Stevens jump them from behind. Taz talks about the Heavenly Bodies for no apparent reason as Bromance eliminates Riley. Here’s Matt Morgan at #7 in perhaps his last TNA appearance. He immediately puts out Stevens but Bromance tries to double team him. Shark Boy bites Jesse and Morgan eliminates both Jesse and Robbie to get us down to two. Shark Boy can’t hurt Matt and gets lifted in the air in a choke as Mr. Anderson is #8.

Morgan knocks Shark Boy into the corner as Anderson offers a truce with the big man. Shark Boy hangs on in an elimination attempt but Anderson stomps him down onto the apron. Morgan finally turns on Anderson and chokes him in the corner until Johnny Swinger is #9. He fires away at the stars until Anderson takes over on him and the match slows down AGAIN.

Joseph Park is #10 to give us a final group of Park, Morgan, Sharky, Swinger and Anderson. Joseph fires away on everyone not named Shark Boy until Anderson pokes him in the eye. Swinger and Anderson team up to try to eliminate Park but Anderson dumps Swinger. Morgan kicks Sharky out and we’re down to the three biggest names. Park is double teamed but Morgan doesn’t want Anderson helping him.

Anderson charges at Park but gets low bridged to the floor. As usual Park is shocked that it worked and walks into a discus lariat from Morgan. Matt tries to throw him out in the corner but Park punches his way out. The Carbon Footprint misses and Morgan crotches himself on the ropes. Park pounds away and runs Morgan over with a shoulder block. There’s the middle rope splash and apparently you win by pinfall in the final two. Morgan kicks out and hits the Carbon Footprint for the pin.

Rating: D-. This match felt like it was about three days long and the ending was nothing of note. Again, there were ten people in this match and most of them were either jobbers or comedy guys plus Anderson and Morgan. This is probably going to be the longest match of the night and it was ridiculously boring. This show has been terribly uninteresting so far and we’re just over an hour into it.

6. Hogan loses to Sting at Bound For Glory 2011 and turns face. It was so nice of him to put over that young Sting kid.

Bad Influence is ready for Team 3D and LAX. Kaz says Team 3D was a great team and LAX is an airport. Team 3D split up and clearly aren’t best friends like Bad Influence so they clearly won’t win. Daniels says they’re the present of tag team wrestling and west coast boogeymen. Good stuff here as always.

Video on the tag team division over the years.

Team 3D vs. LAX vs. Bad Influence

Now THIS is more like it. Team 3D and LAX at least are famous tag teams and Bad Influence has been around for a long time in the company. We start with Homicide vs. Bully, who won the world title about a week before this was filmed. Bully pounds him down with ease but Homicide comes back with right hands to the jaw. Kaz tags himself in to work on Homicide and it’s a feeling out process.

Homicide takes him down but Kaz nips up, only to be taken into the LAX corner. It’s off to Hernandez for a front suplex before it’s right back to Homicide who gets popped in the jaw by Daniels. Hernandez gets the tag and helps Homicide with some double teaming followed by an overhead choke throw from SuperMex. Kaz finally starts cheating by tripping up Hernandez to give Daniels a breather. It’s off to Kazarian who gets two via an elbow drop to Hernandez before bringing Daniels back for a countered double suplex on SuperMex.

Bully punches the now legal Homicide from the apron but we stick with LAX vs. Bad Influence. Daniels drives Homicide down with two feet to the chest for two before offering either Dudley a tag. Homicide gets in a shot to Chris’ ribs and D-Von tags himself in. A headbutt gets two on Homicide and it’s off to Bully for a big elbow. D-Von comes back in for a nerve hold and a clothesline followed by a Spinarooni of all things.

A release Rock Bottom gets two on Homicide and it’s off to Kaz. Homicide ducks a clothesline and it’s FINALLY off to Hernandez to clean house. In an impressive power display, Hernandez puts Kaz and Daniels on his shoulders at the same time for a kneeling backbreaker. That guy is scary strong. Everything breaks down and Hernandez dives over the top rope to take out Kaz and D-Von. Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter to Daniels from the top but a blind tag brings in D-Von for the 3D on Homicide and the pin.

Rating: C+. This was MUCH better than the rest of the show so far as it actually had some interesting teams in there. The earlier matches have been ok but the people in them haven’t sparked any interest. You had to have Team 3D win here given their current status so I have few issues here. The show needed a match like this to save it from the spiral it was caught in.

5. Christian comes to TNA.

4. Kurt Angle comes to TNA and gets in a fight with TNA’s top guy Samoa Joe. That should be MUCH higher.

Austin Aries can’t believe he has to face Jeff Hardy. He was hoping to fight someone more exciting as he’s already fought Jeff Hardy over and over. The problem is he’s never beaten Jeff Hardy. The stakes aren’t all that high here though as it’s just a regular match with no ladders. We’re in the dump of an Impact Zone with all of Hardy’s Creatures of the Night, so of course Hardy is the favorite.

We get a hype video for Bound For Glory 2012 with Hardy vs. Aries to set this up. This doesn’t really work as the video is about Aries saying Hardy isn’t great until he beats Aries, which he did at BFG. We also get clips of Aries winning the title, losing it to Hardy and losing the rematch at Turning Point.

Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy

They throw a t-shirt around to start and the fans are completely behind Hardy. Aries scores first with an armdrag and lays out on the turnbuckle. Hardy jumps over him in the corner and drop toeholds Aries into the corner. Austin wants a DQ for some reason but has to settle for jumping over Hardy in the corner, only to be caught in another drop toehold. Hardy drop toeholds him down for a third time and Aries takes a breather on the floor. Make that he’s walking out before charging back in, only to be sent right back to the floor.

Hardy follows up with a running clothesline off the apron but Aries grabs the referee to block a Swanton Bomb. Jeff is crotched on top for two and Aries finally gets to go on offense. We hit an armbar because that’s little more than a rest hold anymore. A jumping elbow gets two for Aries and another from the middle rope gets two more. Aries pounds away in the corner but Jeff fires off right hands of his own, only to miss a charge in the corner.

Aries goes to the middle rope and does Jeff’s dance but a splash only hits knees. Hardy wins another quite slugout and clotheslines Aries down. A basement dropkick puts Aries down for two but he backdrops out of a piledriver. Now Hardy’s middle rope splash hits for two of his own but Aries counters a headscissors to crotch him on the top rope. The brainbuster gets two and Aries is shocked. He heads up top but Hardy rolls away from the 450 and grabs a small package for the quick pin on Aries.

Rating: B. Now THIS is more like it. This was a very good match with both guys working hard to fire up the crowd. Hardy is a big deal in TNA’s history and Aries is…..kind of I guess. Then again I stopped caring about the whole ten year thing an hour ago. Good match here as this show is suddenly on the right track.

3. AJ Styles beats Jerry Lynn twice in a row to become the first X-Division Champion.

2. Hulk Hogan signs with TNA.

Video on James Storm vs. Bobby Roode over the years. I think this is borrowed from the build to Lockdown. This even gets a music video, complete with video from Bound For Glory with the King Mo nonsense.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

Feeling out process to start with Storm taking him into the corner for a clean break. They trade hammerlocks before Storm runs Roode over with a shoulder. Storm takes him down with a backdrop but Roode bails to the floor to avoid the Last Call. Back in and Roode sends him over the top but Storm skins the cat and throws Roode to the floor. James hits Roode in the head with a water bottle but gets his throat snapped across the top rope to change control.

Bobby stomps away back in the ring and drops a knee for two before hooking a chinlock. A middle rope blockbuster gets two for Roode and he’s getting frustrated. Roode suplexes Storm down and puts on another chinlock. Storm fights up but gets caught in a sleeper to put him right back down. The arm only falls twice and the comeback is on with Storm suplexing his way out of the hold.

Storm wins a slugout and hits some clotheslines to take over. The corner enziguri and a running neckbreaker gets two for Storm and a top rope hurricanrana gets the same. Back up and Roode hits the big spinebuster for two but the fisherman’s suplex is countered into Closing Time. Roode grabs the rope and blocks a Codebreaker, allowing for a rollup with feet on the ropes to pin Storm.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff for the most part but of course Storm loses again. That’s really all he knows how to do in a big match situation, especially against Roode. It’s a solid match with a solid backstory but it’s not the best match in the world. The problem here is the hatred is gone so it’s almost a nostalgia match at this point.

1. Sting returns in 2006. Just….no. It’s a moment but Angle jumping should have been #1, especially considering that this wasn’t even Sting’s first time in TNA.

Speaking of nostalgia, Samoa Joe is ready to beat Kurt Angle and he wants to do it by knockout.

We recap Angle vs. Joe. Angle debuted in 2006 and challenged the undefeated Samoa Joe to his first match. Joe lost at Genesis, setting up another two matches with Angle winning 2-1. Joe would beat Angle at Lockdown 2008 for the world title so tonight is kind of a rubber match. There was another match at Hard Justice 07 but no one remembers that so we won’t count it.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

We even get big match intros for this one. Joe grabs a wristlock to start but Angle counters into a hammerlock. We keep going with the basic feeling out stuff until a shoulder block sends Angle out to the floor. Back in and another shoulder puts Angle on the outside again. Kurt is sent face first into the steps but gets in an elbow to the back as Joe comes back in. This is pretty slow paced stuff so far.

Joe hits a running kick to the chest to put Angle down and there’s the enziguri in the corner for two. A hard kick to Angle’s chest and a knee drop get two more but Angle snaps off the belly to belly to take over. Off to the chinlock for a LONG time until Joe fights up, only to be taken right back down into the chinlock. Joe fights up again and hits a running boot to the chest to put Angle down.

The running backsplash gets two on Angle but he pops up and rolls the Germans. Joe escapes the third with another enziguri but a missed charge in the corner sets up the Angle Slam for two. There’s the ankle lock but Joe rolls through to send Angle face first into the buckle. Angle escapes the MuscleBuster into the ankle lock but Joe pulls him forward into the Koquina Clutch. Angle grabs the leg and puts the ankle lock on for the third time but Joe kicks away and tries the choke but Angle gets underneath the fat man for the Slam and the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the spark wasn’t here for this match. Much like the Roode vs. Storm match there’s no real reason for these two to be fighting other than they did before. The submission stuff at the end was good but the rest of the match really didn’t do much of note at all.

A LONG highlight video (as in like 5 minutes) ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show isn’t bad but the first hour SUCKED. It had me wanting to turn this off and forget about it for a few hours but then the three way tag team match started up and things got WAY better in a hurry. At the same time though, this whole show depends on how you look at it.

If you’re looking for a reunion and the return of a lot of former stars then this is a complete failure. How many people returned here? Homicide, Shark Boy, Swinger, Devine, Stevens, Riley, and arguably Dutt and Williams? So if you stretch, eight people? The biggest name being…..Homicide? Or is it Shark Boy? This felt more like a two year reunion as we repeated some matches from a few years ago and little more. The show (first hour aside) is entertaining but it misses the point it was shooting for by miles.

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On This Day: July 13, 2008 – Victory Road 2008: TNA Does The Olympics

Victory Road 2008
Date: July 13, 2008
Location: Reliant Arena, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So this is just another PPV despite what TNA would want you to think. The main event is Joe vs. Booker as we’re in Booker’s home town and Joe has had issues with Booker for awhile. I’m starting to remember these feuds more concretely now so I might actually have some insight. This is also the final round of the World X Cup which is kind of like an Olympics thing TNA did that I never really thought was all that special although there are a lot that do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about NASA and doing things never before done. Kind of weak but I can live with that. Just what is a Victory Road though?

The set looks like an old Nitro set. I think I like that. Ultimate X is back tonight and there’s a Fan’s Choice match tonight.

JB is outside and we’re asked what we want in the 6 man: falls count anywhere, tables, or full metal mayhem (TNA’s TLC). Polls are open until 11 tonight, which is after the show ends. Brilliance.

Lauren (GORGEOUS) is with BG James who says absolutely nothing of note.

Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International

Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshima/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin

This is a 12 man four corners elimination match. Coming into this the standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with three points and the other two with two points. This is for three points. I’ll do what I can to tell the people apart but don’t expect much. Apparently it’s EVERY MEMBER has to be eliminated. I miss Curry Man.

 

Daniels can shake his hips when he has to which is odd to type if nothing else. The Guns are starting to come into their own here and it’s working to an extent. Pretty soon they would be jobbing to big teams rather than just bad ones. Curry and Yoshino start us off.

 

And here are the Guns to beat the tar out of him. West points out how it’s smart to stay on the apron because it’s easier to stay in the match by being out of it, which actually makes sense. All of Team Mexico beats up Williams as this is a total mess at this point due to so many people being in it.

 

Dux goes for a victory roll but Bucanero drops into it kind of like a piledriver (think Owen vs. Bret at Mania X but more like a spike than a rollup if that makes sense) to get us down to eleven which is still too many. Team Japan beats the tar out of Bucanero in some painful looking stuff.

 

We crank the speed up a lot here and Puma is gone. There are two referees here thank goodness. What kind of a name is Milano Collection AT? It sounds like a cookie company or something. Cradle Shock takes him out anyway. That leaves just Yoshima for Team Japan.

 

West points that out and Tenay of course repeats it like 8 seconds later. Shelley hits a SWEET baseball slide on him while he’s in the Tree of Woe. He catches Shelley in an Octopus hold which is one of the most painful holds ever but of course just lets it go since it’s not that important I guess.

Shelley is just beating the heck out of Yoshino. Averno and Yoshino have a very nice high speed sequence as Yoshino is just trying to hang on. Averno gets pinned off a rollup though so we have one down for International and Mexico, two down for Japan, and TNA is intact. Chaos Theory on Sabin is broken up at two.

 

Team Mexico hit a pair of springboard cross bodies which looked great. Williams’ face is great when he gets nailed with a high spot. Guerrero hits a middle rope powerbomb on Curry Man to get us down to seven people left. That’s bearable at least. A crazy double team gets rid of Williams. I know I’m saying a lot really fast here but there’s no transition between a lot of these pins.

 

It’s the Motor City Machine Guns vs. Yoshino vs. Kozlov vs. Guerrero and Bucanero. Guerrero hits a gordbuster off the top for two on Kozlov. Kozlov gets a SWEET Russian Leg Sweep into a Cobra Stretch a la Delirious for the tap from Guerrero. This is FAST. Sabin hits a GREAT hurricanrana into a double super kick on Bucanero to get rid of Team Mexico. That clears things up a lot.

 

Since it’s a multiman match, it’s…actually not a Tower of Doom even though they were in position for one. All four are in the ring for a long time as they’re not even trying to have a coherent match at this point and I can’t really blame them. Sabin does the same run after the other guy thing that DiBiase does but hooks a Diamond Cutter instead of a clothesline. This is rather good stuff.

 

Kozlov goes heel and pulls the referee in front of him before rolling Sabin up and using the ropes to get rid of him. We’re down to Yoshino, Shelley and Kozlov here. Kozlov hits a great enziguri to counter a dive that missed for two on Yoshino. Sick looking move. Kozlov taps to Yoshino and we’re down to one on one.

 

Shelley kicks his head off and Sliced Bread gets two only. I would have bet on that being the end. A PAINFUL looking Tiger Suplex gets two. Shelley just goes OFF and hits something like a reverse Emerald Flowsion for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a hard one to grade as it’s very different from anything most people will be used to. It’s definitely a great match as far as athleticism and showing off, but at the same time nearly half an hour is a bit much. This was definitely good though and a GREAT way to get the crowd fired up.

 

The problem though is what Don West says immediately after the final pin: I’m exhausted from watching that. I think that could be a problem as that’s likely to be the most exciting thing all night long. Hopefully not though.

Updated Standings:

TNA – 6
Japan – 4
International – 3
Mexico – 3

We run down the rest of the card which we’ve already paid for at this point.

We see Booker’s “Homecoming” which is just a tour of his house and how much stuff he has. It’s a nice house if nothing else, but this is nothing but a waste of time.

We recap Angelina vs. Gail which is over Love interfering which allegedly is about her being jealous. I didn’t realize that Beautiful People were two and a half years old.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Just Love and Sky at this point and a bit more conservative. We hear about how proud Kim is to be a Knockout. Yep, proud enough that she bailed on the company for more money. Velvet interferes early to give Love the advantage. The BP weren’t that good in the ring yet at this point so they had to cheat.

 

Kim gets a Figure Four around the post but doesn’t lean back with it so it just looks weird. This is a pretty basic match but it’s working fairly well I think. Kim busts out a Codebreaker and a neckbreaker for the pin. Kind of anti-climactic ending but what do you expect? Post match Gail avoids a double beatdown.

Rating: D. Just not that good. I know Love is pretty bad in the ring but still this just wasn’t a very good match at all. Love was still getting used to wrestling and while Kim is good, she’s not good enough to carry something like this. Good to see her get the win though which is the right thing.

Lauren and BG James are with the 12 “fans” armed with leather straps for the Fan’s Revenge match tonight.

We recap Lethal vs. Dutt which was supposed to be an homage to the Mega Powers or something like that but it didn’t work at all. So Cal Val being around a lot was nice though.

Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

So Lethal is Randy Savage and Dutt is an Indian peace man or something. Dutt gives Val a rose and a card and the fight is on. It’s ALL Lethal to start us off here. Lethal misses a dropkick by about two feet but it’s sold anyway. That makes my head hurt. Tenay says Guru like Gru so it’s very annoying.

 

Dutt goes for a slingshot move. I assume he did at least as that’s what Tenay said. Not like we got to see it or anything. This is fast paced but no one really cares it seems. I mean really, an homage to a 20 year old angle with these two? Seriously? This is mostly Dutt in control but we’re at about look #38 at Val. We get it: she’s hot and concerned.

 

Lethal takes over but Val gets nervous and Dutt nails him. Dutt says he loves Val, and the camera work is KILLING this match. Val gets involved AGAIN and this time it lets Dutt roll Lethal up for the pin. Dutt kisses her hand before leaving. Of course Val would turn on Lethal later as EVERYONE expected.

Rating: D. Like I said, the cameras killed this as they were constantly looking at Val and missing spots because of it. A lot of the time it’s better to just keep the camera on the ring and don’t worry about the hot chick.

 

Either way, this wasn’t going to be that good anyway as they kept doing the same thing (fight a bit, look at Val, lose control because of it) and that was how the match ended. Just an overly long and not that good of a match.

Recap of Beer Money vs. LAX who are feuding because…well because LAX have the belts and Beer Money are challengers. No reasons for the Fans’ Revenge stuff but whatever.

Beer Money and Jackie talk about being mad. Seriously, can someone shoot Jackie?

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

Jackie stays in the back thank goodness. Ah ok Beer Money beat on LAX in an Impact match where afterwards they tied them up and hit them with belts. I found that on Wikipedia so there you go. That’s the crack TNA recapping staff for you. The fans with the straps are all wearing LAX shirts so you can figure out what’s going to happen here.

 

Hector Guerrero is with them and has a massive sombrero. He looks IDENTICAL to Eddie. So Beer Money are challengers, have no fans on the floor, and don’t have their manager. This is perfectly logical. Roode gets slapped by the straps a lot and runs to Storm. This is SO riveting. Homicide doesn’t get whipped and steals some of Storm’s beer. Why are girls so often called gals? Is one more letter so hard to say?

 

I’ve never seen the genius that Homicide allegedly is in the ring. Storm runs under the ring in kind of a funny bit. Homicide hits Three Amigos to get an Eddie chant going. Beer Money hit a Hart Attack in a nice move. Storm doesn’t let go of the legs and puts on a Boston Crab in a nice move. That was my issue with the Hart Attack: Anvil never really did much. We get a hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house.

 

This just isn’t interesting at all for some reason. It’s just happening and I’m not really caring about it at all. Hernandez’s power is insane at times. He hits a top rope splash on Roode where the referee counts three since Storm misses his cue. They just say it’s two anyway but whatever. A Doomsday Device ending with a Diamond Cutter ends it for LAX.

Rating: D+. So? That’s the only thing I can think of to say. The faces win a match they were supposed to win and there’s no point to this feud anymore. This just wasn’t worth much at all as the straps were all to beat up Beer Money and the whole match just made LAX look even stronger. What’s the point of that? And why didn’t Roode even try to buy some of them off?

More of Booker, this time at the PWA training center where we see some of his guys wrestling. That’s actually kind of cool, but it’s making him look like a face when he’s the heel. Oh right it’s TNA.

We recap Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong, which can be summed up as Wilde was a fan from the crowd that was given a title match and won it. Yeah that’s really all there is to it.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

No intro for Kong here either. Makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Yep Wilde is hot. Not sure why I was ever unsure on that one at all. Kong dominates early on as you would expect as the camera work stays bad. Kong hooks a camel clutch of all things which is a move that works for her actually.

 

Wilde is more or less just fighting for all she can but when she grabs Kong by the hair, Kong flicks her into the corner BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW! Kong takes her head off with a clothesline because she can. Wilde hits an armdrag off the top and is STUNNED yes STUNNED I say when she only gets two. I love idiotic wrestlers.

 

Wilde reverses the Implant Buster into a victory roll to get ANOTHER pin on Kong. Kong and Saed beat her up afterwards….and Abyss makes the save. Uh, reason? Black Hole Slam to Saed and we’re done here.

Rating: C-. At least they kept it short. Wilde was at least something new, but she more or less killed Kong’s character. She was hot though so she worked fine. She’s a good worker though so we need Rosie Lotta Love instead. Anyway, this wasn’t terrible but it’s far from good either.

Booker and Sharmell have dinner at Booker’s restaurant but Booker insists on making sure the portions are small and the drinks are watered down. Booker more or less says he’s the biggest businessman in Houston. Well they’re trying at least.

We get a 10 second look at NASA stuff. WOW.

Here’s a video package on Ultimate X. No commentary needed apparently.

Ultimate X: Kaz vs. Volador Jr. vs. Naruki Doi vs. Daivari

This is for four points apparently, so more or less the winner wins everything, making the entire previous three rounds totally pointless. Daivari is allegedly predictable in this. Ok then. West thinks Kaz is the favorite because of his experience letting him know that he’ll know how to win earlier. YOU CLIMB UP AND GRAB THE FREAKING X! How hard is this? Daivari wisely goes after Kaz’s arm.

 

That makes the most sense here if nothing else. Oh and only Kaz is a face here. We can’t have nice foreigners! West says Kaz is close to being a world champion. Oh the comedy! For about the 1000th time tonight we’re told about being allowed to vote for the stipulation tonight. WE GET IT!

 

Oh and also, great idea on telling us to stop watching your show so we can go get our computers to vote on something on the show later on. In other words, a stipulation for later on in the night is more important than the match you’re watching at the moment. Volador is pretty fun to watch. Kaz manages to get above the X and almost unhooks it but Daivari makes the save.

 

It worked as it’s not like Kaz had a long time up there like in a ladder match so it didn’t look completely ridiculous which is a very nice difference. Also he used his legs to get there so he kept selling the arm from earlier.

 

In a MIND BLOWING spot, Daivari is going across a cable with his back facing the ring so he’s looking up at the ceiling. Kaz climbs up to the metal thing that holds up the cables and JUMPS off of it, crashing down with a clothesline onto Daivari and killing himself in the process. That was INCREDIBLE. It also lets Volador go up and get the X for the win and the Cup.

Rating: B. This was another great high impact battle that worked perfectly for what it was supposed to do. I wasn’t sure who was going to win and I was thinking it would have been Team TNA but a surprise is always good. This was your usual crazy spotfest but it worked quite well.

Team Mexico accepts the trophy.

Booker T has a golf course and apparently is very good, even as good as Tiger Woods.

Frank Trigg is here and is doing commentary.

We recap Angle and the Dudleys vs. Christian, Rhyno and AJ. AJ accidentally married Karen. I know, I know. Just go with it. Kurt is ticked about it as Angle’s wife is sleeping with her husband AJ. See what I have to deal with here?

Kurt Angle/Team 3D vs. AJ Styles/Rhyno/Christian Cage

Team 3D beat up Christian and Rhyno to explain why they’re here. More or less it’s two feuds in one here to fill time. Eh I tend to hate that but I can live with it I guess. Dang AJ needs to be a face again. Angle hides at the broadcast table to jump AJ and it’s Full Metal Mayhem, which more or less is a TLC match where you win by pin.

 

Sweet goodness people is it THAT hard to keep a coherent camera shot? Trigg isn’t that great on commentary and I continue to wonder why he’s here. Angle goes off with a chair as this is just a total mess. AJ hits a sweet move as he jumps up to the top of a ladder with a springboard then off of it onto Bubba with a forearm. I LOVE that move. Christian goes up to the top of the Ultimate X structure and dives off.

 

You know that would have looked way better if we could have seen how far down he came if the camera hadn’t been above him. THAT is the stuff I have to deal with here. Rhyno gores everyone and of course can’t get a pin on anyone. So of course he takes a Doomsday Device through a table. What? You can’t see the clear transition there?

 

We’re just going from spot to spot here with no flow at all and it’s really very annoying. Christian blocks the running belly to belly and then gets 3D’d through a table. This match is making my head hurt. BUBBA HITS A SUPERKICK! AND NOT A  BAD ONE AT THAT! AJ has been 3-1 for like 4 minutes now.

 

He needs better partners. He puts both Dudleys through tables and hits the Styles Clash for two on Angle. And here’s Johnny Devine. WHERE ARE CHRISTIAN AND RHYNO??? Angle Slam gets two. Angle shoves Hebner and of course he hurts his ankle.

 

Can we get a strong referee? AJ sets up a table and a ladder but Trigg hits AJ with a kendo stick and Angle gets the Slam through a table for the pin. Literally, Christian and Rhyno were nowhere to be seen for at least 5 minutes straight at the end and the whole thing was 15 minutes.

Rating: D. This was the biggest mess I’ve seen in a long time. There was no flow anywhere near this as it was just spot after spot. Also, Christian and Rhyno being gone for that long is ridiculous. If they wanted to do AJ vs. Angle then they should have done AJ vs. Angle. Just a total mess but there were some good spots in there. Plus, Bubba doing a superkick is hilarious stuff.

Joe says he’s not afraid and tells Nash to stay in the back. He’s the mentor that of course is going to turn on him later on.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Booker T

They’re trying to make this an epic match but I’m not getting the Austin/Rock vibes here. And now let’s have another video package. Now let’s watch both of them walk from the back. Why can’t Joe be this much of a monster now? We hear the beginning of his music and go to ANOTHER video about Joe. Seriously, is this necessary? Also why did he put the belt on his other shoulder during the video?

 

We get the IF JOE WINS WE RIOT sign. No, you won’t. See, in ECW it’s effective because they would have actually rioted. These people won’t and they know it. To kill more time we do big match intros. They chop it out and we’re just in the feeling out stages of course.

 

The fans are about 80% behind Booker here which is exactly what you would expect of him. We hit the floor and Booker takes over and busts Joe open. We’re at shot of Sharmell #8 after less than ten minutes. This is far from epic but it’s not bad I guess. Joe goes aerial a bit which wasn’t bad. There’s a lot of striking in the middle of the ring here and there goes the referee.

 

That’s so clichéd it’s not even funny anymore. We head to the floor for more chops and strikes that aren’t anything special. Joe does get a nice Ole Kick on the floor (Youtube it). Ok, we know what Sharmell looks like. We don’t need to see her every 18 seconds. Joe gets slapped by her and beats up her body guards. Oh and the referee is still down and hasn’t moved and therefore could be dead but no one checks on him. Great guys in TNA.

 

Booker is busted too. Ah there’s a second referee. Joe beats both of the other referees up. They were kind of going for an Austin/Taker insanity thing here and it’s not working really. The idea is he can’t beat Booker and he’s snapping and just beating the tar out of him for it.

 

Security hits the ring and down they go. Sharmell is in the ring as I know where this is going. He puts Booker in a choke and Sharmell screams for help. And cue Sting. There’s Bound for Glory’s main event. Sting gets him to leave and then he goes back to the ring to beat on Booker more.

 

Joe flips him off and says F you which earns him some bat shots. West asking why Sting is doing this cracks me up. Sharmell counts a three and Booker takes the belt. That would set up a cage match between Booker and Joe next month. The announcers being in SHOCK, yes SHOCK I say, ends it.

Rating: C-. While I’ve seen far worse, this wasn’t much at all. The whole insane brawling was a bit much and Joe snapping like that sucked. It set up next month and Bound For Glory even better but at the same time it was just boring. Joe was still decent here and the crowd was white hot though so points for that. Like I said, I’ve seen worse.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much, although it was better than the previous year’s show by far. The key thing here is that something actually happened. We ended the World X Cup, we move forward in the Joe/Booker feud as well as the Sting feud.

Angle vs. AJ is more or less set for Hard Justice and we had some new angles open up. Now don’t get me wrong: the show mostly sucked, but there’s a point to it which is the most important thing here. Not terrible, but the X Cup stuff is worth seeing if you’re bored and want something a bit different. The rest, not so much.

 

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Impact Wrestling – July 4, 2013: HAIL SABIN! And Not Much Else

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 4, 2013
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re in Sin City tonight for a taped Independence Day show. The main story is Austin Aries stole the X Division Title last week and as of this moment gets to challenge Bully Ray two weeks from tonight at Destination X. Other than that we’ll have a lot more buildup towards Bound For Glory in the BFG Series as points continue to be accumulated. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap of last week’s show.

Here’s Austin Aries to open things up. A lot of people like him, a lot of people boo him, but now everyone has to respect him. He’s the man who initiated Option C last year and this year he’s the man who is going to cash in the X Title for another shot at the world title. Aries demands Hogan get out here right now to make the cash in official.

Cue Hogan who says that Aries is the man who initiated Option C and then won the world title (where have I heard this before?). He brought the division to new highs but last week he brought it to new lows. Aries committed the greatest sin of all: gimmick infringement. Therefore, tonight Austin has to defend the title against Chris Sabin and TJ Perkins, now known as Manic. Manic is in the same attire as Suicide, but without the word Suicide on his chest.

Kazarian says he’ll beat either version of AJ Styles he faces tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

Kaz and Daniels come out dressed as Sigfried and Roy, with Kaz promising to make the world title appear around his waist in October. Styles knocks Kaz to the floor at the bell and hits a baseball slide to take him down again. Back in and AJ misses a forearm in the corner so Kaz can pound away on the mat. AJ comes back with a hard clothesline as Daniels is holding a stuffed tiger and wearing a blonde wig while playing cheerleader. The springboard forearm gets two on Kaz but Kaz dropkicks AJ down to get himself a breather. Not that it matters though as the Calf Killer makes Kaz tap to give AJ ten points at 4:02.

Rating: C. This was a nice little match as AJ continues to hone in his new character. The Calf Killer looked great and AJ can still fly as well as anyone else in the company. This is a pairing that has worked for years but I’m not exactly looking forward to Daniels vs. Styles #845 when they’re paired together in the Series.

Chavo gives Hernandez another pep talk.

Mickie James is in the ring with a ladder. She talks about having to climb the ladder to success and brags about being a country singer and being pursued for commercials. So Taryn and Gail can go out and break a leg and everything else, because they’ll never be as great as she is. Mickie is going to be Knockouts Champion of the century and will destroy whomever she faces for the title.

The Gut Check judges debate Ryan Howe vs. Big O. Howe gets to face the judgment.

The Main Event Mafia says the fourth member is revealed tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: Jay Bradley vs. Hernandez

Bradley takes over with a headlock and sends Hernandez to the ramp. SuperMex shoulders him in the ribs and hits the big dive over the top to take over. The over the top backbreaker gets two but Bradley comes back with a backbreaker of his own. Chavo tries to get in and the distraction lets Hernandez hit the big shoulder for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. This was barely anything at all with Bradley just being a warm body out there. I don’t know why TNA thinks fans care about Hernandez and Chavo as the fans go nearly silent during their interactions. They’re not interesting and the eventual match between the two isn’t going to draw any interest. Not much to see here.

Aces and 8’s talk about the X Title match tonight and Ray suggests no one should win it.

Bro Mans vs. Gunner/James Storm

Non-title here. Robbie and Jesse jump Gunner to start and take over for a bit, only to have Gunner clothesline Robbie down. Hot tag brings in Storm to clean house and backdrop Jesse onto Robbie’s crotch. Gunner tries a sunset flip attempt on Jesse but Robbie breaks it up, only to eat the Last Call. A Rock Bottom backbreaker (Irish Curse) puts Jesse down again but it’s a powerslam/neckbreaker combo from the champs to get the pin for Storm at 2:59. Basically just a squash but it was something of a mess.

Jeff Hardy is ready for Joseph Park tonight and hopes he doesn’t have too much Abyss in him.

Here’s the Main Event Mafia with something to say. They’re here to destroy aces and 8’s and to ensure that Bully Ray loses the World Title. Sting brings out Samoa Joe to be the force of change in the new Mafia. Joe says that with Angle and Sting at his back, he’s going to run through the BFG Series and earn his shot at Bully Ray for the world title. Angle says he put Joe in the Mafia because of the grueling matches they’ve had over the years. As for the fourth member, he’s another man who is rising up the charts in TNA: Magnus.

Magnus, also rocking a suit, comes out to a solid reaction. He praises the other Mafia members and Joe in particular for putting him on the map last year. It’s not just about the Mafia, but about the Mafia’s mission: putting an end to Aces and 8’s. Sting challenges Aces and 8’s to a fight at Destination X and guarantees a winner in the X Title match tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: Jeff Hardy vs. Joseph Park

Jeff grabs a headlock to start but bounces off Park in a shoulder block attempt. A dropkick works a bit better and Hardy takes Park down with a headscissors out of the corner. The Twisting Stunner looks to set up the Swanton but Park rolls away at the last second. Park isn’t sure what to do so he slowly whips Jeff from corner to corner and crushes him with a splash.

Off to a chinlock for a few moments until Jeff fights up and hits his usual stuff. A low dropkick gets two but the Twist of Fate is countered into a Samoan drop. The middle rope splash connects for two but Jeff comes back with the Twist of Fate to put both guys down. Hardy’s leg hitting Park’s face busted his lip open though, meaning it’s a Black Hole Slam for the referee, earning a DQ at 8:07.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting but the Park character has pretty much hit its limit. It’s been the same idea for months now and there aren’t many other places you can go with it without incorporating more Abyss into it. Thankfully they’re not treating him as anything special in the Series.

It’s time for Gut Check with Ryan Howe. Al Snow says no so Howe gets to Kick Out in thirty seconds, but the fans won’t stop booing him. Danny Davis says the booing has changed his mind because Howe didn’t stop what he was saying, so it’s a yes. Bruce Pritchard says Howe got a reaction from the audience, but it’s a no.

Doc and Anderson argue over who is the next VP of the club. The vote is next week but Ray yells at them for wasting time.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell in a ladder match next week.

Next week there will be three Joker’s Wild tag team matches in the BFG Series.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Manik

Aces and 8’s are watching in the crowd. Aries is put in the Tree of Woe to start and Sabin nails a delayed dropkick to his face. A sunset flip gets two on Manik but Aries is back on his feet, only to be thrown out to the floor. Manik hooks an Octopus Hold on Sabin but Aries comes back in for the save. The masked man hangs onto the ropes and avoids a charging Sabin to send Chris out to the floor. Aries sends Manik to the floor as well and gets two off a middle rope dropkick to Sabin’s back.

A forearm to the back of Sabin’s neck puts him down on the ramp but Sabin blocks the brainbuster into a front suplex. Aces and 8’s come to ringside and try to pull Manik to the floor. The masked man dives on Doc and gets powerbombed down onto the floor for his efforts. Cue the Mafia to get rid of the bikers as we take a break.

Back with Manik being taken out on a stretcher as Aries hits a belly to back suplex on Sabin on the apron. Aries rolls Sabin up three or four times in a row for two each but Sabin comes back with rapid fire chops to the chest and a choke in the corner. A running boot to the chest gets two for Sabin but Aries drives him back into the corner. The running dropkick is countered by a boot to the chest, but Sabin misses another kick in the corner, banging up his knee in the process.

Aries goes after the knee and hits the running dropkick in the corner, but the brainbuster is countered into a small package for two. The brainbuster is only good for two so Aries hooks the Last Chancery, but Sabin grabs the rope to escape again. Aries can’t hit the 450 so Sabin connects with Hail Sabin but THAT just gets two. Another Hail Sabin is countered into a victory roll for two but Sabin pops back up with a discus forearm to put both guys down. Aries sends him into the corner for another running dropkick, but Sabin catches him going up and hits Hail Sabin from the middle rope for the pin and the title at 16:11.

Rating: B+. The stuff with Manik was just kind of there but things got WAY better after it got down to a one on one match. Imagine that: a showdown between two guys is better than a spot fest between three guys. Who would have guessed that? Anyway, this was a tremendous match and that finish looked excellent.

Sabin says he’s the next world champion to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event was awesome but it was the only thing on this show that was above average. Everything else on the show just wasn’t all that good, as it was a bunch of filler stuff before we can get to Louisville for Destination X. That being said, the main event was one of the best matches we’ve seen in a LONG time int his company, which makes the rest of the show worth it.

Results

AJ Styles b. Kazarian – Calf Killer

Hernandez b. Jay Bradley – Shoulder Block

Gunner/James Storm b. Bro Mans – Powerslam/neckbreaker combo to Godderz

Jeff Hardy b. Joseph Park via DQ when Park gave the referee a Black Hole Slam

Chris Sabin b. Austin Aries and Manik – Hail Sabin from the middle rope to Aries

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Impact Wrestling – June 27, 2013: There’s A Good Show Under The Mess

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 27, 2013
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Illinois here with a show that TNA spoiled on their website already. The main story here is we’re three weeks away from Destination X and the chance at a world title shot against Bully Ray. Other than that we have more from Sting’s Main Event Mafia which right now is just him and Kurt Angle plus more in the BFG Series. Let’s get to it.

After the usual voiceover gets things going, here’s Sting to open the show. He says that after Slammiversary he needed to go back to the roots of the Main Event Mafia so he picked Kurt Angle. Angle says that he and Sting are Mafia Originals from about four years ago. The concept of the Mafia was that everyone had to be a former world champion and they did anything they wanted.

Now, the only people who could stop them are Aces and 8’s. They’ve kept Sting from ever challenging for the world title again and kept Kurt out of the BFG Series. Angle says he and Sting are the new Main Event Mafia and are both Hall of Famers, but that means nothing until Aces and 8’s are destroyed and Bully loses the world title. Kurt says tonight there’s going to be a third member of the Family to go to war against the bikers.

Video on Sabin winning the X Title at Slammiversary.

Aces and 8’s jump Sabin in the back but don’t beat him down. Anderson and Doc hold him so Ray can lecture Chris about not overstepping his bounds and coming into the big boys’ league.

We meet the first Gut Check contestant: the Big O from Z: True Long Island Story.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Kenny King vs. Suicide

King dives into a double dropkick to start so it’s Sabin vs. Suicide early on. King comes back with a running dropkick of his own to take both guys down. Suicide is knocked to the floor as Sabin is slammed down, only to have the masked guy come in with a missile dropkick to put King down. Everyone heads to the floor with Sabin diving onto both guys as we take a break.

Back with Sabin putting King on the top rope with his back to the ring, only to have Suicide miss a charge and get caught sitting in the corner. Sabin dropkicks King’s body into Suicide for two and your new three way spot of the match. Suicide hits a kind of Diamond Cutter into the middle buckle for two on Chris but King crotches him as the masked dude goes up.

We get the Tower of Doom with Sabin getting the worst of it, allowing King to get some near falls. Sabin comes back with a baseball slide to send Suicide to the floor and the Hail Sabin for two on King. Suicide sends the champ to the floor and gets two off a rollup on King. The Royal Flush is countered into a rollup by Suicide (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C-. I’m over the three way rule and have been for months now. Having literally the same gimmick every single time makes the title nothing more than a worthless gimmick. Suicide winning is something interesting as Sabin wasn’t going to be bought as a threat to the world title no matter what.

Post match Hogan comes out with a limping guy named TJ Perkins. Hogan says this is the real Suicide and the guy in the ring jumped him and stole the suit. Suicide leaves through the crowd with the title.

Hogan says that Suicide has until the end of the show to unmask.

Ryan Howe is the other Gut Check guy. You might remember him from the last season of Tough Enough. His gimmick here seems to be a musician.

Gut Check: Ryan Howe vs. Adam O’Reiner

O’Reiner gets two off a powerslam to start before pounding Howe on the mat. Adam misses a charge in the corner and Howe puts him down with a jumping back elbow. Howe pounds away but charges into a powerslam for the pin at 2:50. This was junk.

Ray comes in to see TJ Perkins. He’s a fan of TJ’s work but wants to know if Angle and Sting put TJ up to this tonight. Perkins says no so Ray gets in his face and asks again. TJ says tonight was the opportunity of a lifetime and it was taken away from him but he doesn’t know who did it.

We recap Velvet’s knee injury and Mickie attacking her to delay the rematch over and over.

Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James

Mickie says Velvet is above this despite being a three dollar w****. Sky spears her down to start and fires off shoulders in the corner to take over. A slam to the mat gets two and Mickie heads to the outside for a breather. Mickie takes over back inside and takes it to the mat before firing off shoulders of her own in the corner. She goes after the bad knee but Velvet comes back with a bulldog for two and the champion heads outside again.

Velvet hooks a headscissors to put Mickie down before pounding away at Mickie’s face. Back in and Mickie kicks the bad knee before getting two off a bad DDT. Velvet comes back again but gets hit in the knee one more time, allowing Mickie to hook a freaky deathlock for the tap out at 6:37.

Rating: D+. The story was fine but the execution didn’t work at all. Velvet just isn’t that good in the ring but to be fair she’s there because of how she looked in her little outfits. Mickie is playing the heel very well and the idea of just going after an injury is a fine way to get heel heat.

Velvet cries about losing.

We recap the events of the night so far.

Bobby Roode walks past Sting and Angle in the back. The Mafia smiles.

Hogan asks a referee who he thinks Suicide is but can’t get any information. The referee is told to tell Suicide either unmask or get fired.

Bound For Glory Series: Magnus vs. Bobby Roode

They fight for arm control to start with neither guy being able to gain the advantage. Magnus gets two off a jumping knee to the face and Roode bails to the outside. Back in and Roode goes after the neck by sending Magnus throat first into the middle rope. A neckbreaker gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Magnus comes back with a backdrop and a clothesline followed by a release suplex. A top rope elbow gets two on Roode but he catches Magnus in the spinebuster. The fisherman’s suplex is countered into a falcon’s arrow for the pin on Roode at 6:42.

Rating: C+. This started slow but got a lot better by the end. Magnus has so much potential it’s unreal, but it’s taken way too long to actually push the guy. That was the biggest singles win of his career and Roode isn’t going to lose anything as a result. This is called a rub, and surprisingly enough this works better than Hogan calling Magnus his main man one time backstage.

Aces and 8’s go into a locker room and ask if anyone is Suicide or if they’ve spoken to the Mafia. They all deny it but Ray threatens them anyway. Oh and Godderz should lay off the carbs.

Here are James Storm and Gunner with something to say. Storm says tag team wrestling is a science and while they may not be scientists, he’s been known as a chemist with his alcohol. You may not get along with your partner, but if you win in the ring you’re good to go. That’s why he picked Gunner and it’s why they’re champions.

This brings out Robbie E and Jesse Godderz to say they’re the future of tag team wrestling and called the team the Bromance. James: “So are you guys like a thing now?” Robbie: “I DIDN’T SAY THAT!” The name is Bro Mans apparently and Jesse says he has a hot girlfriend so they’re clearly into chicks. James calls Tara a butterface so Gunner knocks a charging Jesse out.

Sting and Angle want to go find Suicide.

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Samoa Joe

Anderson takes him into the corner but Joe pounds him down with strikes. A running big boot in the corner gets two for Joe as Tenay and Taz bicker again. We head to the floor with Anderson ramming him back first into the apron for two back inside. Anderson gets two off a swinging neckbreaker but Joe fights back into the corner again. Here are Doc and Knux for a distraction, allowing Anderson to get two off a DDT. Joe comes back with a powerslam as the Mafia hits the ring to take out the bikers. Back in the ring Joe blocks the Mic Check and gets caught in the Koquina for the tap out at 5:28.

Rating: C-. The match was a backdrop for the angle going on but it wasn’t bad. Joe could be a factor in the BFG Series as you could have him get a bunch of submissions to run up his score. He’s eternally over in TNA so the crowd will buy into him no matter what he’s doing at the moment. Also Anderson is so much better in this role than as a top guy.

Joe is the third member of the Mafia.

Here’s Hogan to demand who Suicide is tonight. Suicide gets a mic but Hogan has to list off his accomplishments first. Cue Bully Ray who says that he wants to find out who is under the mask as well. Ray claims that Suicide won the title because Sabin had the fear of Bully Ray in him. Bully is a bad person who does bad things so Suicide doesn’t want a piece of him. Hogan says take the mask off right now but Suicide says he felt the pain and we share the torment. Suicide says the question is do you know who he is…..and it’s Austin Aries, who is going to cash in again this year to win the title. Ray is shocked to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a hit and miss night for TNA. The good news is that they have some interesting stuff going on in the forms of Magnus and the Mafia, but stuff like Gut Check and the Suicide angle being rushed through in one night bring the show right back down. Also it gets annoying seeing Ray and Hogan trying to find out who Suicide is and wasting time on those segments when the reveal is later in the night. The show wasn’t bad but it felt bogged down which made it feel long.

Results

Suicide b. Chris Sabin and Kenny King – Rollup to King

Adam O’Reiner b. Ryan Howe – Powerslam

Mickie James b. Velvet Sky – Deathlock

Magnus b. Bobby Roode – Falcon’s Arrow

Samoa Joe b. Mr. Anderson – Koquina Clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: June 8, 2008 – Slammiversary 2008: King of the Memphis Mountain

Slammiversary 2008
Date: June 8, 2008
Location: DeSoto Civic Center, Southaven, Mississippi
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

 

We’re actually in Mississippi but it’s called Memphis since it’s so close. Either way, this is the anniversary show and the main event is Joe defending the title in King of the Mountain, which no champion has ever retained in before. There’s also another 20 minute AJ vs. Angle match so I can’t complain much about that. These TNA shows are pretty easy to sit through actually. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about how awesome Memphis is and has a guy that is supposed to sound like he’s a blues rocker. Lots of Elvis lyrics are used and we have a wedding tonight.

 

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Kaz

 

Williams is champion and has Scott Steiner/Rhaka Khan with him. Petey also has a broken orbital bone so he’s in a mask. In a nice move, Kaz has on a wristlock and Petey tries to roll through it. Kaz grabs him into a rollup as he tries to for two. That looked good. They hit the mat into some pinfall reversals and Kan escapes the Destroyer attempt. Kaz gets a slingshot dropkick in the corner for no cover as Petey hits the floor.

 

Kaz fires off some kicks and the fans are split. They go to the floor and Khan distracts Kaz enough to let Petey get a tornado DDT off the apron to take over. Petey takes over but Kaz gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two. O’Connor Roll gets two and the kickout puts Kaz on the floor. Petey hits that SWEET slingshot rana to take over again. The fans are split again and it fires Kaz up a bit.

 

Petey works the arm as that comeback was pretty short lived. Kaz gets in a big kick and both guys are down. He fires off a bunch of strikes and hits a release spinebuster for two. Slingshot DDT gets the same. The fans say this is awesome and I’m not entirely sure I’d go that far. It’s good but not awesome. Williams speeds things up and the Canadian hits a Russian on the American.

 

He loads up the Destroyer but Kaz escapes. Petey hits a cool move that looks like a fisherman’s suplex but he slings backwards into a DDT instead. Kaz fights back and tries the Flux Capacitor (C4) off the top but Petey escapes that also. There’s very little selling in these matches at all. Another Destroyer attempt is countered into the Fade to Black for two.

 

Khan comes in so there’s an enziguri for you. The distraction lets Scott slide in the pipe (that’s what she said?) and Petey kills him with it. Kaz is busted but he kicks out. Destroyer attempt #8 is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Sharpshooter but Kaz counters into the Wave of the Future (spinning downward spiral) for two. The referee JUMPED over them to get there and got to three before Williams kicked out but who cares about that? Steiner distracts Kaz and it’s enough for Petey to hook the Destroyer and we’re done.

 

Rating: B-. Good opener here with both guys looking good. Kaz was getting a world title shot on Thursday so this was a bit worthless by comparison. Obviously he would lose there but that’s another story. This was fast paced but the lack of selling started to show in the middle as nothing could keep someone down for more than ten seconds.

 

Scott Steiner rants about not being on the show tonight or not getting (another) title shot. Steiner says he’s going to screw Kaz tonight. Uh………….oh there’s Abyss to keep this only rated PG-13. Steiner throws Petey at Abyss who takes the biggest Black Hole Slam EVER. There’s one for Steiner and one for Khan too.

 

We run down the card which is how we roll around here.

 

Eric Young pops up with a microphone and says Elvis is here. Oh geez.

 

Video on Nash who is guest enforcer tonight in the main event.

 

Nash is with JB and says this is all about money and Joe is more of an investment than a friend. If Joe wins tonight, Nash wins. If Joe loses tonight, Nash loses.

 

Video on how the Knockouts are better than the Divas. That’s true around this time.

 

Here are some shots of Memphis including Graceland.

 

ODB/Roxie/Gail Kim vs. Beautiful People/Moose

 

Moose is a chick that is almost as tough as Kong and is the mascot of the Beautiful People. She broke her leg in a hardcore match in an indy company and hasn’t been seen in TNA since. The Beautiful People leave Moose in the ring and she gets triple teamed. Roxie has the really short haircut here due to losing a match at Sacrifice. Gail and Moose officially start us off.

 

And make that Roxie as everything breaks down quickly. The Beautiful People try to leave but Gail and ODB don’t let them. Moose gets a flapjack for two. Off to Velvet who likes being on top of Roxie. The heels take over on Roxie and Moose hits a bad looking TKO for two. Velvet puts on an Octopus Hold and bites the hand at the same time. Hot tag to Gail who cleans house, putting all three chicks down and hitting a top rope cross body on Velvet for two.

 

Angelina takes out Kim’s bad knee and the heels take over again. They must have some time to work with here. Love works over the knee and my goodness we have psychology in a match involving breasts. Edit: breasts that don’t belong to Joe. They really are better than the Divas. Half crab goes on for a bit to work on the leg more. Moose comes in for a bridging Indian deathlock as Gail is in trouble.

 

There’s a Brock Lock (over the shoulder leg bar) but Gail gets the rope again. The referee is in a bowtie and shorts. That’s quite a look. Gail finally breaks free and there’s ODB off a tag. Thesz Press gets two on Moose and it breaks down again. ODB picks Moose up and hits a British Bulldog style powerslam for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. I liked this and the knee work was a nice touch. Gail has a bad knee coming in and the announcers pointed it out so it’s not like it was hard to miss. Little things like that one can add up a lot of points in a match and this is a good example of it. That made sense for the heels to go after and they did, showing some thinking which is a big part of psychology.

 

Video on Rhyno who says he’ll win King of the Mountain and the title.

 

Rhyno says he’s made peace with Christian (that wouldn’t last) and his second chance starts tonight.

 

We talk about LAX vs. Team 3D which is streets vs. hardcore. They’re only 20 time tag champions at this point. LAX won some way too complicated tournament final last month to get the titles and this is the rematch.

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

 

3D are the heels. Knowing them though they’ll turn twice on the way to the ring though. D-Von vs. Hernandez to get us started. Ray has a chain to start but it gets taken away. I hope the referee at least said please. The fans want tables almost immediately. Good sign in the crowd: “D-Von! Get the table dancers!” The champs dominate to start but it’s off to Ray pretty quickly.

 

Ray tries to get technical with Homicide for some reason. The fans still want tables. Homicide is like cool man and grabs some armdrags to get control. Ray puts him on the top and pats his head so Homicide dropkicks him down. Hernandez clears the ring (no tag. Cheaters) and both of them dive through the ropes to take out the Dudleys. Homicide tries to go up again but D-Von shoves him down, sending his head into the railing.

 

Ray punches Hector Guerrero and knocks Salinas down. Ray holds up a title belt for some reason while D-Von works on Homicide in the ring. A back elbow puts Homicide down and the Dudleys act all innocent and nice. I miss heel teams doing things like that. Big side slam by Bubba gets no cover. Back to D-Von and the fans say 3-D sucks. I agree. It just makes some of the background clearer and the glasses make the movie darker.

 

The referee misses the hot tag and the half brothers beat Homicide even more. By trying to stop homicide, does that make them vigilantes/crime fighters? They go up top and Homicide bites the ear and hits a jawbreaker to take D-Von down. There’s the double tag and the fans do not care at all. Hernandez gets a back drop to Ray, prompting him to shout DIOS MIO!!! The delayed vertical hits D-Von for two.

 

Homicide comes back in with a top rope cross body for two. What’s Up is set up for Hernandez but Homicide makes the save. Salinas and Hernandez do What’s Up on Ray with Ray saying come on. Johnny Devine comes in and is taken out by Hector. Ok then. D-Von takes Homicide up top but Hernandez makes the save, resulting in a Gringo (Diamond) Cutter off of Hernandez’s shoulders for two. Everything breaks down again and Ray hits SuperMex low. They set for 3D but Homicide rolls up Ray while D-Von is waiting on Hernandez to turn around for the pin. I like that.

 

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything but the ending was good. The problem here I think is that we saw the same match the previous month at Sacrifice so it’s not like this is some great new idea here. Salinas’ looks are the best thing about it with the ending coming a close second. Not great but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

 

Video on Roode who says he’ll win KOTM. He got in first so he’s been able to study all of his opponents the longest. That makes sense.

 

Roode says he’s wanted to prove he’s main event material for his entire run in TNA. He looks around the locker room and sees guys that have done it rather than just talking about it. The talking stops tonight. Pretty good promo here and it was kept simple.

 

Video on Kong being awesome. Hey that was funny. She has a $25,000 challenge thing going on at the moment which would eventually be claimed by Taylor Wilde (I think). Kong is Knockout Champion here too.

 

The idea is she fights “fans” who are of course plants. JB issues the challenge and hey look it’s Serena of the Straightedge Society and Sojourner Bolt. Serena is hot with hair. Bolt goes by Josie Robinson.

 

Awesome Kong vs. Serena Deeb

 

Deeb is in street clothes. She said she had been training in MMA and tries some not MMA stuff and Kong takes over quickly. We’re out to the floor quickly and Kong swings her into the railing like a giant swing. Kong goes after Bolt too and back in we go. Implant Buster and we’re done. This was a total squash.

 

Post match Kong shoves Bolt and we’re getting a second one.

 

Awesome Kong vs. Josie Robinson

 

Josie (Bolt) jumps Kong and gets in some shots which actually work. Kong punches the post by mistake and we’re in the ring now. Never mind as the spinning back fist kills Bolt dead. There’s a clothesline and the Awesome Bomb ends this. This was a squashier squash than the first one.

 

Post mauling….Eric Young comes out. Kong is still in the ring at this point. Young brings out “Elvis” who is booed off the stage. Everyone is just waiting on Kong to eat him. The fans just do not care and it’s obvious. Young has already left and Kong is like dude….what am I doing here? There’s an Awesome Bomb and the fans couldn’t be happier. They couldn’t get Honky Tonk Man for this? I ask because of the next segment which will make that make more sense.

 

Video on Christian who says he’s getting the title back.

 

Christian says he wants to get the title back because he still loves being the best. His win/loss record is better than anyone else over the last year and he wants to be considered among the best ever after tonight.

 

We recap the wedding with Jay Lethal and So Cal Val. Sonjay Dutt has a crush on Val and is trying to steal her away. Lethal had a bachelor party with Christy in a cake which was better than most bachelor parties if nothing else.

 

First though, a picture of Beale Street which is where the blues were born.

 

There’s a minister in the ring that looks like Ian McKellen. First of all here are the groomsmen: Ace Young of American Idol, Kamala (IN A TUX!!!), Jake Roberts (see what I was getting at with the Honky Tonk….oh man Jake is bombed), Koko B. Ware (with green hair and Frankie) and George the Animal Steele…who isn’t here. Oh ok he just didn’t come down the entrance. If there’s ever been a man that lives a gimmick like him, I want to see it.

 

The maid of honor is some chick I’ve never heard of and Dutt is the best man. Yeah because THIS couldn’t go badly right? Lethal comes out to Pomp and Circumstance which is almost appropriate here. Val is indeed stunning in her dress. We get to the speak now part and nothing is said. Jay (in sunglasses) says I do. Val is about to and heeeeeeeere’s Sonjay!

 

Jay says it’s cool and Sonjay says he’s talking to Val. He asks her to marry him instead. Lethal gets in his face and a brawl breaks out. The American Idol guy comes in and gets cracked in the head for the pop of the night so far. Koko lays Dutt out for a bit so here’s Kamala. He and Koko beat on Dutt and Steele wants in too. Jake pulls out the snake (the animal one, not his) and Kamala runs in a nice bit of continuity. Dutt gets some snake and Steele has a turnbuckle. This feud would go on for about 5 months before Val FINALLY turned on Lethal for Dutt who was released soon after and it was never mentioned again.

 

Video on Booker just like the rest of the people from earlier in the night.

 

Booker talks about signing with TNA and being given nothing after he arrived. He’s coming to take the title because it’s what this is all about. We get a WWE reference and he kind of morphs into King Booker as the promo goes along.

 

We recap Kurt vs. AJ. This is about Karen and AJ allegedly having an affair. I think this is around when they were legitimately separating so this is pretty weird stuff. Kurt thought there was cheating so Kurt had his friends destroy AJ and then beat him with a chair. AJ is out for revenge.

 

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

 

Think this will be good? Tomko is with Angle. The fans like AJ more than Kurt. They hit the mat and guess who wins that part. AJ speeds things up and sends Angle to the floor with an armdrag. Back in and Angle tries to speed it up so AJ hits that dropkick of his to take over. Tomko talks some trash to let Angle get the fingers to the eye. Jesse Ventura is smiling somewhere off that.

 

Angle tries to speed it up again and he hits the post shoulder first. Springboard forearm puts Kurt down but he knocks AJ to the floor. Hebner stops Tomko from interfering and the bald man is gone. Kurt protests so AJ fires off a huge flip dive that Angle was too far back for so only AJ’s legs hit Kurt. It looked scary for awhile. Back in now as it’s time to get to the meat of the match.

 

AJ gets some two counts off basic moves. It’s kind of weird seeing AJ in control like this. Angle takes over and works over the back a bit as some annoying fans have those sticks with 2 on them. He fires off some forearms and AJ might be bleeding from the nose/mouth. Kurt snaps off a belly to belly and a vertical one gets two. Another backbreaker gets two. Kurt pounds away in the corner and puts him in a superplex position but AJ counters in midair almost into a gordbuster.

 

They slug it out and AJ grabs a pumphandle gutbuster for two. AJ starts in on the neck. This is Kurt’s first match back from a month off due to a neck issue. Angle busts out the rolling Germans but AJ reverses the last one and hits a release German on the American hero. A discus punch is ducked and Angle gets a release German on the American non-hero of his own.

 

Angle stalks him for the Slam and AJ is gone. Somehow he counters into a DDT as Tenay isn’t sure what Angle was going for. How did he used to be called the Professor? He sounds like Mary Ann at times. Angle rolls through a Clash into the ankle lock but AJ rolls through that. There’s the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. AJ goes up and Angle climbs the corner and hits the belly to belly for two. Ankle lock is countered and Styles hits the Pele for two as Kurt grabs a rope.

 

Another Clash attempt is countered into the ankle lock again and it’s in the middle of the ring. These two tend to have matches based around the idea of who can hit their finisher first. The good thing: the finishers actually FINISH the matches. Well there goes the referee as AJ kicks the hold off. Angle is sent to the floor and here’s Karen with a chair. She gets Kurt’s attention but won’t let go of the chair. AJ gets up and uses the distraction to hook the Clash and gets the pin.

 

Rating: B+. Another good match here from these two but it wasn’t as good as their last man standing match from a few months later. AJ hadn’t hit his best period yet but it was coming. Their best ever was probably at Hogan’s debut show but that’s a different story. Either way this was another good match and was great for the second main event.

 

Angle pops him with the chair post match and Tomko runs interference to keep security out. The ankle lock goes on and Angle pounds away a bit.

 

Joe says he’ll keep the title. He talks about wanting it to be about wrestling and not the politics or the opportunists etc.

 

Video on the King of the Mountain match through the years. It’s kind of a mess but it’s TNA’s mess. The idea is there are five people and the referee holds the belt. You have to pin an opponent to qualify to win. The person pinned goes to the penalty box at ringside for two minutes. Once you get a pin, you’re allowed to attempt to hang the belt. As in there’s a hook above the ring like a belt would hang from in a ladder match. Now you have to take the belt and put it over the ring, hanging it up there. Make sense?

 

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

 

No one in history has come in as champion and left as champion. Nash is guest enforcer. Everyone gets a video on their way to the ring so this takes a LONG time. Now let’s have big match intros. The entrances for this match have been going over ten minutes already. Nash is the referee holding the belt and we’re FINALLY ready to go. It’s a big brawl all around to start with Rhyno and Christian working on Roode and Booker fighting Joe in the ring.

 

Scratch the in the ring part as they’ve switched places. Rhyno and Christian destroy Roode with a lot of double teaming but here’s Booker. Booker shoves Christian off the top to the floor and he’s holding his knee. The axe kick and Gore both miss and here’s Joe again to fight Rhyno. Joe gets a running boot and a backsplash for two as Roode makes the save. Roode tries a flying clothesline but Joe just steps to the side. I still love that.

 

Christian is back in now and the knee looks ok. He hits an inverted DDT on Roode but gets struck down by Joe. Scoop powerslam gets two for Joe. He ties the Canadian in the Tree of Woe and hammers away and is in total control here. Booker trips him up and pulls him to the floor, pounding away out there. Booker comes back in and meets Rhyno with a Book End for a pin. Booker is now eligible to hang the belt and Rhyno is in the box for two minutes.

 

He’s got the belt now and Nash isn’t happy. The ladder is brought in and Christian hits a baseball slide to send it into the faces of Booker and Joe. Christian sends Roode over the top and here’s Rhyno out of the box. He and Christian go at it even though they’re friends. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Joe trips him up and crotches him against the post. Joe is like screw it and hits a spinning dive to take out Rhyno, Booker and Roode all at once.

 

Christian is like I can top that and goes on top of the box and dives off to take out all four of those guys. Christian channels his inner Dudley and sets up a table on the floor. Back in the ring Captain Charisma has the ladder but Roode gets a chair from somewhere and pops it against the ladder into Christian’s head for the pin. Roode and Booker are now eligible. Less than thirty seconds later, Rhyno rolls up Roode to become eligible too.

 

Nash beats up Roode to make sure that he gets in the box along with Cage. Rhyno goes up with the belt but Booker makes the save. Joe hooks a cobra clutch on Booker and Cage is freed from his namesake. He goes on top of the penalty box and hits a frog splash onto Booker to become eligible and send Booker to the box. Roode is out as well. Quick recap: Everyone but Joe is eligible and Booker is in the box.

 

Roode goes up but Joe suplexes him off the ladder. Now Christian goes up and is taken right down with a big cutter off the ladder. Gore hits Joe and everyone is down. Booker is out of the box and can’t even stand up. Ok maybe he can as he grabs the belt and blasts Nash and Rhyno and Joe and Roode. Down goes Christian too, leaving Booker as the only person conscious. Since he’s mostly a heel though, he stops for a Spinarooni.

 

Nash comes into the ring and powerbombs Booker off the ladder. That makes sense given that he was provoked. Joe tries a MuscleBuster on Christian but he escapes. Joe knocks Christian through the table from earlier as Roode sets up the ladder. Roode goes up but Joe takes him down with a MuscleBuster. Joe immediately goes up and hangs the belt to retain. That was a fast ending but it was effective and smart.

 

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was a pretty solid King of the Mountain match. I don’t think many people were thinking Joe would lose here, namely due to a lack of an A-List challenger outside of maybe Booker or Christian. The idea here was how does Joe win it and he did a good job of that here. Pretty fun match despite the traditional insane rules this match has.

 

Overall Rating: B. Can’t complain much on this one as it’s a solid show all around. They didn’t try for something epic and in exchange the show worked. The big matches are good and the majority of the matches are good so there aren’t many complaints. The company was doing well in 08 and the mixture of young and old is a big reason why. Then they focused on just the old and things went downhill but that’s TNA for you. Good stuff here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: May 13, 2007 – Sacrifice 2007: Later NWA. No One Misses You.

Sacrifice 2007
Date: May 13, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is a very interesting show and it’s a pretty important show in company history. The NWA has basically thrown TNA out because the NWA is really stupid and thinks those three letters are enough to carry them. Therefore, the titles aren’t officially the NWA world/tag titles anymore and I don’t think there are physical belts. The NWA bailed because they’re stupid, so the main event is for the world title with Christian vs. Sting vs. Angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how we praise wrestlers like gods even though they’re just humans. They have drive though which is why they’re better than us.

All of the title matches are in triple threat matches tonight. Just what I wanted.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin is champion. Sonjay is jealous because Lethal has been getting the attention when they’re both around Nash. The fans like Lethal. Sabin immediately gets psychological on them, dropping to the mat. Dutt goes for the cover and Lethal says not so fast my friend, channeling his inner Corso. They argue for a bit and then the double teaming begins. That doesn’t last long as they keep arguing. The story here is obvious: they both want the title so they can’t work together.

The times they do work together are pretty solid though, including one instance where they throw him over the top rope to the floor, where he bounces off the concrete and into the railing. The two good guys fly around a bit without making any violent contact. Translation: it’s more like a dance recital than a match. Dutt grabs a one armed camel clutch but Sabin runs back in for a seated dropkick to Lethal’s face.

Sabin and Dutt seem to form a bond so they do the same thing that just happened, but Dutt dropkicks Sabin this time. Cute spot. Sabin takes over and makes the faces miss before hitting a headscissors/tornado DDT combo with Lethal taking the storm-themed move. Dutt is sent to the floor and Sabin hammers on Lethal a bit. Dutt breaks that up with a sweet looking reverse 619 to the leg kind of move.

Lethal goes up and hits a top rope double axe to the floor on Sabin. Dutt tops that with a big old Asai Moonsault to the floor. Back in, Sabin can’t get a top rope rana and Dutt half kills Lethal with a middle rope missile dropkick. There’s a new TNA mascot named Stomper, who I think is a crab. I wonder if he’s Mongolian. Dutt tries to take over but Lethal takes him down, only to have Lethal get knocked down by Sabin. Why am I so chatty in this review? I haven’t written this much in less than 15 minutes of a show in I don’t know how long.

Everyone is down now, presumably due to needing a chance to breathe. Dutt speeds things way up and hits a springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Tenay) to Lethal for two. Sabin takes over again and puts them both in the corner with Dutt looking like he’s in a Styles Clash position from Lethal. Lethal’s hair has kind of exploded and you can see where going to the braided hair was the best thing he could have done.

The fans are split between Lethal and Sabin. What’s with the anti-Indian stance of the fans? Sue them for racism!!! Standing enziguri to Sabin, making him look like he’s having a seizure, or that he’s Elvis. Not sure which but either way a superkick puts him down. A release dragon suplex puts Dutt on the floor and the top rope elbow gets two as Dutt makes a late save (he hit Lethal in the ankle. How does that break up a pin?).

Lethal Combination gets two as Dutt dives off the top with the 450 for the save. He can’t pin either guy but he made up for the weak save a minute ago at least. This match is pretty freaking awesome if you couldn’t tell based on what I’m saying. The good guys get in another argument, allowing Sabin to roll up Dutt (I think with tights) for the pin to retain. Lethal would get the belt next month.

Rating: B. Very fun opener here. This wasn’t about being technically sound, but rather about being all over the place and incredibly entertaining, which is exactly what they did here. Dutt vs. Lethal went on for like a year and it never was all that good. Fun match here, although I have a feeling the rest of the show isn’t going to be able to top it, which isn’t good.

Lethal and Dutt brawl post match until Nash comes out for the save. Dutt kicks Nash in the leg and runs.

Roodes doesn’t want to talk about Eric Young. Instead he says Jeff Jarrett is nothing compared to him. Jarrett is going to make Roode tonight.

Nash comes up to the announce table and says he’ll take care of Sonjay on Thursday.

We run down the card to fill some time.

VKM was at a meet and greet earlier today with fans when Basham/Damaja attacked them. Roadie was injured due to getting his head slammed into the floor so tonight it’s a handicap match.

We recap Jarrett vs. Roode. Jarrett hadn’t been around since losing to Sting at Bound For Glory, which was mainly due to his wife being sick, resulting in her death ten days after this show. Jarrett had come back at Lockdown and then was revealed as Eric Young’s friend who was helping Young after he was signed by Roode.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode

Brooks is in a neck brace due to something not important enough to be explained to us. Big ovation for Jarrett. Roode runs up the aisle as the pyro is still going and jumps Jeff before the bell. A piledriver on the floor is of course countered because it would, you know, cripple Jarrett. We get the opening bell and Jeff hammers away and struts. Brooks trips Jarrett up and we head to the floor again.

Jeff is sent into the steps and we hear about how Jeff might be a bit off tonight because this is his first singles match in over six months. Backslide gets two for Jarrett but Roode stops his momentum with a lariat. Roode goes up and jumps into a boot which was an annoying trend he had during this heel run. We look at the mascot again (instead of Brooks who is, you know, not an animal) and Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long.

Roode hooks a bad figure four (doesn’t even deserve to be capitalized) and Jarrett doesn’t really sell it for awhile. Roode tries it again with a Jarrett mimic in there but Jeff rolls him up for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Traci jumps up and down and I lose my train of thought. Jarrett wins a brief slugout and takes over with a low blow which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Roode gets slammed off the top and now Jarrett hooks the Figure Four in what I guess you can call a Flair Double Shot.

Traci grabs the referee (lucky) while Roode taps. Jarrett is a good guy in this match so he lets go of the hold because he’s an idiot. Roode rips a buckle pad off but both guys block shots into the steel. Now Roode is going for the knee for some reason. Oh yeah that alleged figure four earlier. He wraps Jarrett’s leg around the post and brings in a chair. The referee tries to grab it which the referee releases to send it into Roode’s head in a HORRIBLE looking shot. Stroke gets two as Brooks saves, only to get her sent to the back.

The referee takes her to the back for some reason, allowing Roode to hit a handcuff shot to the head for a very delayed two. Roode brings in a guitar but the referee steals it. Stroke is attempted but Roode counters into a fisherman’s suplex attempt which is countered into a Figure Four attempt which is countered into a kick into the steel exposed earlier. That’s enough for the Payoff (fisherman’s) to end it.

Rating: B+. This show is DRILLING it tonight as we get our second awesome match of the night. The ending was full of some awesome back and forth counters and the ending actually played off something earlier in the match. That’s all you can ask for at times and we got a great match out of it. Good stuff again.

Roode sets for a guitar shot but gets caught in the Figure Four again. Traci bounces out to hit Jarrett with the guitar but Young comes in for the save, putting Traci in a Figure Four of his own.

Christian is having a victory party despite not wrestling for about two hours. He still has the NWA Title here. He says all of Team Cage is going to win tonight. Tomko isn’t here yet and Steiner, his partner later, isn’t happy. AJ says he’ll take care of Joe later.

Christopher Daniels vs. Rhyno

There’s no backstory here that I know of. Daniels was channeling Sting or something, complete with mask, and Rhyno is the next victim I believe. All Rhyno to start as he runs over Daniels with power move after power move. Daniels gets up top but jumps into a belly to belly but he avoids the Gore. The fans aren’t sure who they like best here. Daniels misses a baseball slide but Rhyno misses a pescado. Not often you see a horned man fly. Then again it’s not often that you see a horned man.

Daniels sends him into the post to take over even more as we enter the heel dominance portion of our selection this evening. It appears to be the shoulder that’s hurt, so Daniels sends it into the barricade. Daniels works on the arm a lot, which is so evil and satanic of him isn’t it? Rhyno grabs a backbreaker to finally get some relief for his shoulder. Powerslam gets two.

STO gets two for Daniels. Spinebuster gets the same for Rhyno. This isn’t quite as good as the rest of the matches on the show tonight if you couldn’t tell. Daniels grabs a Koji Clutch which is shifted into the smarter cross armbreaker. Rhyno manages to get to a rope before he started thinking of Del Rio and fell asleep. BME misses and Rhyno hits something like a TKO for two. Daniels hammers away on him but Rhyno snaps off a Gore, which the announcers call a shoulder for no apparent reason. It gets two due to a boot on the ropes. Daniels goes to the floor where he picks up a ball bat and whacks Rhyno with it for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah not as good as the other stuff but still, pretty decent stuff here that could have been a solid TV match which is ok on a PPV I think. The arm work made sense because that was his Gore arm, but I’d have liked the ball bat shot to have been to the arm instead of the head, which looked ridiculous and sounded even worse. Still though, this was fine.

Just to further the eye rolling aspect of the ending, Rhyno is up about 100 seconds after being hit over the head with a baseball bat by a professional athlete. He says he’s going to take Daniels out and goes after him. After a brief chat with the announcers we see Daniels coming back down the ramp with blood covering his face. Rhyno follows a few seconds later with a chair and my goodness he must have hit him hard. There couldn’t be any other possibility like a razor blade or makeup right?

Rhyno sets for a Rhyno Driver onto two chairs but security finally comes in to break it up. Shame too because it would have been awesome looking. West wanted to see the Driver.

We recap VKM vs. Basham/Danaja. VKM wanted Christy Hemme to sleep with them to get ahead and she said no, which set off a fairly long feud, resulting in her bringing in a bunch of teams to face them. It would wind up being the Rock N Rave Infection but until them we’re stuck with the Bashams.

Kip says he’s on his own tonight and that’s cool.

Kip James vs. Basham/Damaja

Damaja starts and Kip fires away quickly, as is common in handicap matches. Fameasser misses and it’s off to Basham. The heels (I think) take over and beat Kip down as Basham hooks a cravate. Kip fights back but walks into a chokebomb (Brain Damage) and a top rope headbutt from Basham ends this.

Rating: D. I guess every show has to have one bad match. This was pretty much nothing as Road Dogg couldn’t be there. To be fair though, it’s not like the match they had the next month was any better at all. This was just a bad match and the walking definition of a popcorn break match. The best match on the show (allegedly) is up next though so I’m cool with that.

Kip gets beaten down again post match until Lance Hoyt finally gets there to make the save.

We recap Storm vs. Harris, which is due to Storm turning heel on Harris and breaking a beer bottle over his eye. The result is a Texas Death Match between a guy from Tennessee and a guy from Kentucky being held in Florida.

Harris says Storm only had to say he wanted to end the team but instead he tried to end Harris’ career with a beer bottle. This has been about revenge and payback. It’s been about revenge before but now it’s about payback.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

This is a Texas Death Match, which is last man standing but you have to get a pin or submission before the ten count begins. Both guys are in street clothes. In a cool visual, Harris rips up an AMW shirt on his way to the ring. This feels like it’s going to be awesome which is a very good sign. They slug it out in the aisle and Harris has the trademark handcuffs.

They go into the crowd almost immediately and Storm is running away. They’re in the back row of the arena and Storm is almost thrown over the wall in the back. I wonder what’s back there. Maybe it’s where they keep Shark Boy? All Harris so far as they head to the ring. Storm throws a drink in Harris’ face to shift momentum but Storm gets thrown into a wall to changes things right back again.

Harris is in the ring alone and has a beer and a chair. Storm is still over the railing so Harris hits a HUGE dive over the railing to kill Storm dead and gets a pin. Storm is up at 8 though. Harris goes up again but Storm knocks him off and gets his leg tied up in the ropes so that he’s in a Tree of Woe but hanging outside the ropes. Storm cracks him with a chair to the head and Harris is busted.

It’s Table Time as Harris is placed on the top rope. He avoids a hurricanrana and counters a sunset flip (???) into a Sharpshooter of all things. Well it takes out the legs so that makes sense. He can’t get it on so he kicks Storm in the balls. He catapults Storm face first into the bottom of the table, cutting him open on the metal part. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Harris can’t suplex him through the table so Storm kicks him low to balance things out.

Storm hits the Eye of the Storm to put Harris through the table. That looked awesome and it gets an academic pin but only gets nine. Here’s another table brought in by the Cowboy. He falls down trying to get it in though, probably due to blood loss. The table is on the outside but Storm can’t hit another Eye over the top. Harris goes to the apron and gets caught in an Elevated DDT for no cover.

Storm brings in various basic hardcore weapons but as he’s getting in himself, Harris spears him through the ropes to put him through the table. Not exactly Foley vs. Edge but not bad. Back in, Harris picks up a chair and Storm superkicks it into his face for two. Storm is STUNNED. You can’t see Storm’s face. It’s literally a crimson mask. They trade HARD trashcan lid shots and Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) onto a trashcan for two.

Now the match gets taken down a peg because Jackie Freaking Moore has to get involved. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE A JOB??? She isn’t attractive, she’s nothing special in the ring, she’s always getting in the way, and NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HER. And if you say you do, you’re lying. Gail Kim comes out and cuffs her so she can drag her out of here. Both guys have beer bottles and Harris gets a shot to the head of Storm for the pin and the ten count. Perfect way to end it.

Rating: A. GREAT brawl and war here which is exactly what they needed to do. Tenay and West freak out and say how great it is and for once this year, they’re right. This was a blood war and Storm’s face is absolutely scary given how much blood there was on it. Great match and absolutely worth seeing based on the level of violence here.

Sting yells at Daniels about how he doesn’t have this right. Daniels says he has it absolutely right and leaves. Sting yells about Angle and says he’ll win the title tonight.

We get a highlight package of the Death Match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Alex Shelly vs. Senshi vs. Tiger Mask IV

He’s just called Tiger Mask here so we’ll go with that. Two in the ring at a time and we start with Senshi vs. Lynn. It’s one fall to a finish also. Lynn tries a crucifix but Senshi rolls down the back and misses a foot stomp. Lynn hooks an inverted spinning Gory Special and then they hit the mat. Jerry grabs an armbar but Senshi gets into a cross armbreaker on the ropes.

Shelly tags himself in and works on Lynn’s arm to a big reaction. Lynn speeds things up again and takes over on Shelley’s arm. Here’s Tiger Mask and Shelly bails almost immediately. Senshi gets him instead and Tiger Mask takes over. Everybody keeps tagging themselves in so there’s almost no way to keep track of who is legal and what is going on. A standing moonsault gets two for Mask on Shelley.

Everything breaks down and I’m really not even going to try to keep track of it. Lynn’s cradle piledriver is broken up as is the Tiger suplex to Senshi. Lynn hits a sunset flip to something like a Tower of Doom minus the Tower aspect and most of the Doom aspect. Still though, it looked cool and got two. A TKO gets two on Mask and Shelly puts Lynn on the top rope. Senshi dives onto the corner and tries….something that looks like a brainbuster off the top Shelly makes a save. Shelly tries a top rope rana but gets countered into a sunset flip by Lynn for the three count.

Rating: C. It’s fun and flashy but it’s nothing I’m going to want to see again. This is far from what the first one earlier in the night was but they were trying. Also this is a great match to throw out there to give the fans a breather after the big bloodbath we saw with the AMW explosion. It’s not bad but it’s really not my style.

The Guns beat down Lynn post match until Backlund makes the save.

We recap the tag title match. Team 3D beat LAX for the belts and giving them more or less every tag title ever and their 20th title overall.

Tomko says he can’t go over strategy with Steiner because Steiner is nuts and Steiner has right to call him out because he has stuff to do.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko vs. LAX

So Tomko and Steiner don’t get along and are here….because I guess, and LAX are the guys Team 3D beat to get the titles. After almost a minute of arguing we get Homicide vs. Steiner to start us off. Power vs. speed obviously and Homicide can only run so long before he gets caught. Ray tags himself in and sneaks up on Steiner for a pretty awesome German release.

Homicide comes back in and hits half a dropkick to both Immortal members. He and Steiner team up to beat on Ray which is about as odd of a pairing as you’ll find this side of Alex Shelly and Abyss. Ray kicks Homicide’s head off and it’s off to D-Von vs. Tomko. D-Von powerslams him down and SuperMex comes in via the slingshot shoulder. A Thesz Press by D-Von gets the fans behind the champions.

And never mind as LAX double teams him right back down to take over again. Steiner comes in and drops the elbow and the push-ups. Ray breaks up the cover and does push-ups of his own in a funny bit. He and Homicide get into it as D-Von keeps getting beaten down, in this case by Hernandez. Henandez does that always cool backflip to the top rope and seemingly botches a top rope splash to D-Von for two. His leg kind of landed on D-Von’s head which has to freaking hurt.

In a smart move, Tomko breaks up the pin and pulls Hernandez, not D-Von, back to his corner so that Tomko can tag himself in and get a piece of the weakened D-Von. Man, when did Tomko get so smart? It doesn’t really work though as D-Von hits a tornado DDT to break the momentum. I see why Tomko rarely used logic. LAX comes in to stop the tag but D-Von rolls under then and tags Bubba in a nice move.

Ray throws Hernandez out and brings Homicide in. Go after the smaller guys I guess. That’s very bullyish of him. Everything breaks down as is customary in these matches. Steiner suplexes D-Von so Hernandez destroys Steiner with a backbreaker. Ray cleans house and What’s Up Homicide? The fans want tables but Hernandez dives over the top to take out D-Von. Steiner and Tomko beat up Homicide but Homicide rolls through a Doomsday Device for two. Tomko and Steiner get into it but beat up Bubba a bit. Double teaming fails though and a 3D from 3D beats Tomko.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic triple threat here but it worked well enough. The Dudleys needed a win to establish themselves (for some reason) so this did that well enough. The Steiner/Tomko issue will be made clear in a bit. Tomko I think would go on to team with AJ and hold the tag titles for about six months after this so he did well enough. Also they would be the TNA Tag Titles here before to long.

Tomko attacks Steiner post match until Rick Steiner comes out for the save. They would team together for like three PPVs in a row against the Dudleys.

Angle is in Sting’s freaky area. He says Sting goes to Wal-Mart before all of his matches to buy facepaint so he can look like Ronald McDonald. What kind of creepy McDonald’s does Angle frequent? Angle says kill the effects, because once you do that, it’s just like Sting: nothing special. He’s a wrestler but Sting is nothing but a cartoon character. When Kurt Angle is calling you a cartoon character, you must be pretty messed up.

We recap AJ vs. Joe. This is another byproduct of Angle vs. Cage, as if they needed a reason to run this match.

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

They’re treating this like a brand new match for some reason. I mean they’re not saying they’ve never met before, but they’re acting like this is an unheard of pairing. They exchange early control and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner to rattle Styles. Both guys try to speed things up but AJ misses a charge and goes to the floor where Joe hits the suicide elbow to send AJ into the crowd.

AJ gets knocked into the barricade and complains of a bad arm/elbow. Since AJ is a heel here he’s playing possum and pokes Joe in the eye. Why did they think this guy needed Flair again? Out to the floor again and Joe tries the Ole Kick but AJ gets out of the way. Back inside and AJ hits his drop down into the dropkick spot. That always looks so smooth, probably due to his using it in every match.

Joe grabs an atomic drop but a boot misses and AJ spin kicks him down for two. A release German buys some time for the fat Samoan. They slug it out and speed it up but Joe hits an overhead belly to belly and senton backsplash for two. AJ pulls the front of Joe’s trunks down to ram him into the corner and OH MY GOODNESS MY EYES!!!! I….I think I saw thong. What did I do to AJ to deserve that? I rate his matches well enough!

Springboard forearm looks to give AJ the advantage but the backflip into the reverse DDT fails also. The second attempt works better but it’s only good for two. He can’t hit the Clash and walks into a Death Valley Driver for two. Joe gets sent to the floor and may have messed the knee up. Back inside Joe kicks him in the face but can’t charge at Styles in the corner. AJ loads up the Spiral Tap but Joe was playing some serious possum, which AJ had been doing lately. Styles looks terrified so Joe locks in the Clutch and suplexes him over with it for the pin.

Rating: B-. Definitely one of their weaker matches but still very decent stuff. AJ just doesn’t work as a heel. It’s like trying to fight the Easter Bunny: you can try all you want, but it’s not there at the end of the day. This was very back and forth but was more like Joe getting revenge than being in any danger, which isn’t really all that great. Still though, Joe vs. AJ is always worth taking a look at.

We recap the world title match. This really spun off from Team Cage vs. Team Angle at Lockdown where Christian is kind of ducking Angle but he’s finally getting a shot tonight. Sting is here because….well because he’s Sting and he’s always in the title picture. I think he had lost it to Abyss and Christian won it from him so this is officially Sting’s rematch. Oh ok Jarrett got the fall in Lethal Lockdown and gave the title shot he won to Sting. Christian is playing them against each other.

NWA World Title; Sting vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle

Christian comes in as champion as we’ve already covered. Angle has only been here for awhile so he hasn’t been champion yet, making this a potentially huge night. The fans aren’t sure who they like but Sting seems to be solidly in third place. Christian is sent to the floor for the big showdown. I think the Canadian is the only heel in this. Angle takes over on Sting but goes to the floor. Sting beats on Christian outside and the fans seem more behind Christian than anyone else.

Angle vs. Christian in the ring now. Kurt is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s back to Sting vs. the Canadian. Sting actually hits the big elbow drop after a gorilla press. I don’t think I ever remember seeing that. A Vader Bomb of all things gets two. Angle pops back up and pulls Sting to the floor for an Angle Slam (called a suplex by Tenay) on the ramp. So now it’s Christian vs. Angle as the revolving door style of this match continues.

Sting starts getting back up so Christian hammers him right back down. That’s not very nice and I think he should send him a polite handwritten note of apology. Christian slaps Angle resulting in the American hitting a bunch of Germans on the Canadian. He’s at eight so far. Somehow that only gets two for Angle. As if that wasn’t enough for the champion, Sting puts Christian on the top and Angle runs up for a German to make a Tower of Doom, sending Christian flying.

Angle Slam and Unprettier are both countered so Christian goes up. Sting throws Angle into the ropes to crotch the champ. Christian falls forward and Angle is put in front of him for a Stinger Splash. The Death Drop gets two on Angle as Christian pulls the referee out. Scorpion is countered into the ankle lock but Christian saves.

Scratch the saving part as they’re both put in an ankle lock at the same time. They counter out and Sting hits a Rock Bottom on Christian (that’s a new one) but there’s no referee. Another referee comes out and Sting rolls Christian up. Angle grabs Sting’s ankle though and it’s a pin/tap at the same time.

Rating: B-. Good main event but it ran less than eleven minutes which really hurts it. The ending of course got thrown out for a Dusty Finish because Angle winning the world title had to be done twice right? It set up the King of the Mountain match next month which was better than this but not by much. This desperately needed about five more minutes and it would have been far better.

Overall Rating: A-. I REALLY liked this show and it’s easily one of the best that TNA has ever done. There’s a great match in the Death Match and the only really bad match is the handicap which is understandable. Good stuff although a longer main event and the show not ending in a Dusty Finish would have raised it up even higher. I liked it a lot and it’s probably the top TNA show I can think of. Great show.

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 4, 2013: Brooke Hogan’s Showdown

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 4, 2013
Location: ASU Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley

We’re still in Arkansas as we’re heading towards Corpus Christi and the PPV level TV show next week. The main issues tonight will be Hogan and Sting continuing their bickering along with Gut Check featuring luchador Magno and former NWA World Champion Adam Pearce in what should be an interesting match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap of Brooke being tormented by Bully, Sting and Hogan’s issues, and AJ walking away from Storm. Jeff Hardy won a #1 contender match as well and picked Full Metal Mayhem for next week.

Here are Aces and 8’s to open the show. Anderson gets the mic and says he has a special package here. He talks about AJ and how the company had his back when he needed them. Then once they stopped needing Styles, TNA turned its back on him. They have a vest for him anytime he’s ready. D-Von has an envelope which will give a new meaning to Bully and Brooke’s relationship. D’Lo has a gift as well: his termination from TNA’s front offices. That’s not enough for him as he thinks he should have gotten a phone call or a meeting. Brown wants someone to come out here and fire him to his face.

Instead he gets Kurt Angle who says he’ll say something to Brown’s face. Kurt gets in the ring with D’Lo, D’Von and Anderson and goes right for Brown. Aces and 8’s come in and the brawl is on. Cue the TNA cavalry for the save and the bikers bail to the floor. Apparently there’s a ten man tag later tonight.

Joey Ryan comes up to Brooke in the back but Brooke isn’t interested. Sex jokes are made and Joey wants to be the Knockouts referee. Brooke says ok to get rid of him. No touching the Knockouts though.

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky/Taryn Terrell

Joey Ryan is referee and spanks Velvet to get things going. It’s Sky vs. Tara to start things off and with Velvet holding a headlock, Joey massages her shoulders. Off to Taryn who sends Gail out for a tag. Taryn keeps rolling Tara up but Joey keeps getting good looks instead of counting. Velvet and Taryn hit a double elbow on Tara but Joey looks up Velvet’s skirt and rubs his chest. Since the joke has been done once, we’ll repeat it another twenty times in three minutes.

Tara’s boyfriend Jesse gets jealous but Tara calls him off. Joey gets shoved away when looking at the shaky moonsault, allowing Velvet to move. Hot tag brings in Taryn to beat up Gail with a nice top rope cross body. Everything breaks down and Gail clears the ring, allowing for some more of the EXACT SAME THING Joey has done all match. Gail plays with his mustache but gets rolled up….as Joey is stripping. Gail reverses the rollup into one of her own and Joey fast counts the pin on Taryn at 5:28.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of comedy I can’t stand: the kind where you’re beaten over the head with the joke over and over again because apparently the fans are too dense to get it the first time. I have no idea what the appeal of Ryan is because he’s nothing in the ring and the fact that he’s horny isn’t exactly an in depth character. Lots of good visuals here, but the wrestling was nothing of note.

Post match Velvet hits Joey low.

Aries/Roode and Chavo/Hernandez are in the ring for the contract signing for the title match next week. Aries calls himself and Roode a team of world champions instead of the world tag team champions. Roode asks both challengers if they’ve ever been a world champion and Aries answers for them. Chavo says he’s a Guerrero so he’s awesome. Oh and Hernandez is really strong.

Aries says that they should up the ante a bit: the winners should get more money, a fruit basket, and green M&Ms. Chavo says something we can’t hear and the champions huddle. Austin wants one more clause….which we also don’t see. Apparently the match is 2/3 falls and if Chavo/Hernandez lose, they can never team up again. Everyone signs and we have a match.

We get a video on Adam Pearce who has been a professional for 17 years. He’s been a four time world champion and this might be his last chance. Pearce has been in the ring with some of TNA’s top talent before and he can beat them, so he’s more ready than any other Gut Check contestant.

Magno talks about training for fifteen years for this chance. Watch him because he’s going to do something no one else ever has done.

Gut Check: Magno vs. Adam Pearce

Magno is pretty tall for a luchador. Feeling out process to start with Adam trying to take it to the mat, only to be flipped away with a wristlock and armdrag. Pearce takes it into the corner but charges into some boots, only to come back with a backdrop for two. Magno comes back with a springboard moonsault but lands square on his head. He seems to be fine but that looked BAD.

Pearce counters another springboard into a hard spinebuster for two Magno flips over to the apron and comes back with some clotheslines and an enziguri in the corner. Pearce goes to the floor and Magno (partially) hits a moonsault press to take Adam down. Back in and Pearce trips Magno up for a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D+. Neither guy was very impressive here as Pearce was pretty generic and Magno wasn’t much better. That botch was scary looking and neither guy was anything special out there. Pearce is probably the better prospect but I’d bet it goes to Magno because of the finish. Not much here overall though.

Aces and 8’s give AJ a vest but he doesn’t seem thrilled. He doesn’t give it back though.

We recap the Sting/Hogan fiasco over Bully Ray.

Hogan says Sting is in a gray area and not here tonight.

Angle and Park fire each other up for the ten man tag.

Here’s Hulk to talk about gut feelings and wanting to talk to people. He wants to talk to AJ Styles and here’s the Phenomenal One, still carrying the biker vest. Hogan talks to AJ about holding up under pressure but then last year he started to slip. AJ started to change, but TNA is still his family. Hogan says TNA needs AJ Styles but instead he gets James Storm with something to say. Storm says he was the guy who beat AJ last, but everyone loses big matches.

What bothers Storm was AJ walking away when Storm was beaten down by Aces and 8’s. James has been here since day one just like AJ and he’s been here for the people every night. AJ isn’t the same guy who was at the Fairgrounds in the old days of TNA. Storm says Styles needs to leave before he gets knocked out, so AJ walks away, looking down at the vest in his hands.

Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Mason Andrews

Winner gets a title shot, presumably next week. Everyone starts with fast near falls until Andrews has to back away from a potential double team. A quick dropkick gets two on Williams for Dutt but Petey comes back with a suicide dive to take out Andrews. Dutt joins them on the floor and it’s Andrews taking over. Back inside and a backbreaker gets two on Williams but Andrews has to knock Dutt off the apron. A middle rope elbow gets two on Williams but Dutt is back in as well with an octopus hold on Petey.

Andrews breaks that up but can’t hit something out of a fireman’s carry on Williams. Dutt comes back in with a springboard dropkick to both guys at once. A kick in the corner puts Andrews on the ropes and there’s a springboard legdrop to the back of his head, followed by a springboard splash for two.

Petey is back in and decks Andrews but hits a Russian legsweep and short range Downward Spiral on Dutt. The Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver) is broken up and Andrews hits a quick top rope rana on Williams. Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bred on Andrews but a top rope double stomp misses. The Destroyer hits Andrews to give Williams the shot at 5:19.

Rating: C+. Yeah it was fun, but this is the exact same thing we see from the X-Division every time: no story, the same stealing pin attempts, the same fast finishes. Yeah they’re flashy, but it gets really monotonous after awhile. But hey, EVERY MATCH IS A THREE WAY, so it has to be interesting right? I mean, why put effort into it when you can put a one size fits all sticker on there?

Ray fires up the bikers for the ten man tag later. He’s looking forward to talking to Brooke too.

We run down the card for next week’s big episode.

Aces and 8’s vs. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Joseph Park/Magnus/Eric Young

None of the bikers want to start with Angle so he pulls in Brisco for the beatdown. Angle punches Wes into the corner until he gets bored and brings in Garrett. Bischoff gets the same beating in the corner and now it’s off to Magnus for a slam into a suplex for no cover. Off to Joe vs. D-Von and the corner enziguri has the TV Champion (D-Von) stggered. A knee drop gets two for Joe but it’s off to Knux.

Joe hits a running knee to the face to put him down and here’s Eric to drop an ax handle on the arm. Knux pounds away on Eric but gets sent to the floor where Eric hits a big slingshot dive to take him out again as we take a break. Back with Knux in control of Young and throwing him over the top and out to the floor. It’s off to Doc for some power stuff before D-Von comes in for all of his usual stuff: punches, shoulder block, nerve hold, Spinarooni etc.

Doc comes back in and breaks up a hot tag bid, only to miss a charge in the corner. The hot tag brings in Park who cleans house and is very excited about doing so. A splash gets two on Brisco as everything breaks down. We finally get down to D-Von, Joe and Park in the ring but Joe dives through the ropes to take out Knux. D-Von hits a spinebuster on Park but misses the flying headbutt. Park has to deal with the other bikers and gets caught by a low blow from Doc for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: C. Just a big tag match here which didn’t do much for me. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s still aren’t intimidating and still aren’t interesting outside of Bully. This angle is rapidly becoming just another generic monster stable which has been done so many times before that it stops being interesting in a hurry. The match was ok but nothing to see here for the most part.

Brooke tells Hulk not to worry about her. She’ll have protection for her meeting with Bully tonight. No more drama.

Here’s Bully to talk about the Full Metal Mayhem match next week against Hardy. Why would Hardy pick a match like that against Ray? For right now though, Ray wants Brooke to come out here so here’s that stupid theme song of hers as she’s flanked by security. Ray wants to know where her ring is. He also wants to know what’s with the security guards. At Lockdown she was panicking when she should have been excited for her husband to win the world title.

As for the envelope, it’s a pair of front row tickets for next week so that Brooke can be there when Ray retains the title. Oh and she needs to look better because Ray thinks she’s been letting herself go. Brooke slaps him in the face but Ray says he’s in her head, just like he’s been in her since day one. Cue Hardy for the brawl to set up the main event next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad but again the live shows are just better. The ending segment was fine but would have been better had it not been for Brooke. I can’t bring myself to care about her problems when she’s here because of her rich daddy and nothing more. Ray continues to be awesome, but the rest of the bikers are just lame overall. As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t bad but it was nothing memorable. It appears that Brooke goes Aces and 8’s next week.

Results

Gail Kim/Tara b. Taryn Terrell/Velvet Sky – Rollup to Terrell

Adam Pearce b. Magno – Rollup

Petey Williams b. Mason Andrews and Sonjay Dutt – Canadian Destroyer to Andrews

Aces and 8’s b. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Eric Young/Magnus/Joseph Park – Low blow to Park

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at: