Global Warfare
Date: 1993
Host: Jimmy Hart
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

This is one of the Coliseum Videos released on the WWE Vault and I’m not sure what it’s going to be. It’s not the best time for the company as it’s in a transitional phase, with the New Generation coming in. That could go in a variety of ways and hopefully they don’t live down to this era’s reputation. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features bombs going off around the world as we seem to have a theme.

Jimmy Hart welcomes us to his home and says he’s excited about global warfare. That’s quite the odd statement to make. No one should know more about global warfare than him. That’s another quite the odd statement to make. Anyway, he talks about the theme songs (admitting he wrote them) of some of the wrestlers on the tape and brags about his music career. And now, to the first match.

From Sheffield, England, April 11, 1993.

Intercontinental Title: Crush vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and this is from the UK Rampage 1993 show, which was only so good overall. Crush powers him around to start as the fans are already doing their deal with the horns, which can get rather annoying in a hurry. Some more power sends Michaels into the corner and Crush grabs him with a bearhug to take over again. A backbreaker has Michaels in more trouble but he wins a chase around the ring and hammers away.

Crush grabs a gorilla press slam and holds him there for WAY longer than should be done before sending Michaels outside. Back in and a knee to the back knocks Crush outside, where Michaels gets in a posting to really take over for the first time. A DDT gives Michaels two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Crush blocks the superkick, setting up a legdrop…which sends Michaels bailing for the countout at 8:52.

Rating: C-. Yeah what else were they supposed to do here? Crush was on a roll and teasing getting the big Lex Luger push but you don’t want him to win the title. At the same time, it’s always a disappointing finish when someone just walks out, even if it makes sense for the options that they had available.

Post match Crush throws him back in for a beating, including the Head Vice. Crush holds up the belt like a moron, showing that he might have been perfect for the Luger push.

From Paris, France, April 8, 1993.

Yokozuna vs. Jim Duggan

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is less than a week after winning the WWF Title and losing it about a minute later. This is also singlet Duggan so you know it’s not going to be much to see. Duggan throws a chair inside and Yokozuna (in black for a weird but cool look) doesn’t really move. The right hands in the corner stagger Yokozuna a bit so Duggan grabs the 2×4, which is quickly taken away. Yokozuna chokes away on the ropes so Yokozuna comes back with more big right hands.

As usual, Yokozuna knows how to sell this stuff rather well and almost does the big fall before elbowing Duggan in the face. That sequence works so well that they just do it again, with Heenan suggesting that Duggan just hit Yokozuna in the face with the board. Instead he gets caught in a bearhug for a good while until Duggan bites his way out (Heenan: “THAT’LL WORK!”). Duggan avoids a charge into the corner and starts firing off the clotheslines to FINALLY knock him down. Fuji offers a distraction though and it’s a splash in the corner, setting up the Banzai Drop for the pin at 7:22.

Rating: C. It was basic and really simple with Duggan slugging away over and over, but dang he knows how to do that match rather well. There is something about Duggan that makes you want to see him knock a giant down. The match wasn’t good, but it was rather entertaining and that’s a good thing. At the same time, you could definitely see how much slimmer Yokozuna was here, with the tights clearly being padded to make him look bigger.

Hart is listening to music and professes his love of Coliseum Video. He also promises that Hulk Hogan will get the WWF Title back from Yokozuna. The other day, he and Hogan were in Boston and Hart wrote a new song using a Hulk pencil on a picture of Hogan. And yes, he’s wearing a Hogan shirt. Hart is nothing if not the biggest shill in wrestling history. Well one of them anyway.

From Barcelona, Spain, April 24, 1993.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc.

The Steiners are challenging and can’t get in the ring as IRS holds them off with the briefcase. The ring announcer says that if the Steiners aren’t allowed in and the briefcase isn’t taken to the back, the titles change hands. That’s enough for the Steiners to come in and clean house without much trouble.

We settle down to DiBiase headlocking Rick to start as the camera is staying rather wide for some reason. That’s reversed into a belly to belly for two on DiBiase and it’s already off to Scott to go after the arm. The camera goes to a LONG crowd shot, with Savage and Heenan both getting on him for not showing the match. We get back to the ring with DiBiase getting over for the tag to IRS, whose arm is cranked as well.

Scott uses the tie to take IRS down again as we shift to a normal camera shot as I’m rather confused by the whole direction so far. Anyway DiBiase sends Scott outside for a ram into some metal, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for two back inside. Commentary gets on the camera work again, even if things are at least somewhat settled down. DiBiase chokes Scott on the ropes and IRS gets in some cheap shots like a villain should be doing.

Scott fights out of a chinlock but goes the wrong way, with DiBiase almost feeding him into the right corner. Rick comes back in to clean house as everything breaks down. DiBiase’s piledriver is cut off and Scott adds a middle rope clothesline. IRS gets sent outside and the Frankensteiner hits DiBiase, only for IRS to come back in and….I guess the word would be tap Scott with the title for the DQ at 10:18.

Rating: C. The camera work was the focal point of this match and that’s a weird way to go. The venue was strange looking enough so maybe that’s why the camera stuff was so odd. Other than that, it was a rather just kind of there match with neither team exactly doing much. Then again, a Frankensteiner from Scott is always worth a look.

Post match the Steiners hold up the titles, marking the second time we’ve done the “they don’t know the rules” in three matches. It takes way too long to get on to the next match.

From Sheffield, England, April 11, 1993.

Mr. Perfect vs. Samu

Afa is here with Samu. They take their time to start and Samu shoves Perfect away, meaning they stare at each other again. Perfect’s headlock and a shoulder have Samu in a bit of trouble and he misses a crossbody. A crossbody works a bit better for Perfect (he is perfect after all) and some dropkicks have Samu on the floor, with the fans rather behind Perfect.

Back in and they tease a test of strength until Samu knocks him down to take over for the first time. A toss to the floor lets Afa get in a cheap shot, which has Perfect going after him. Heenan: “Come on Perfect, didn’t I teach you better than that?” Samu gets in a shot of his own, only for Perfect to go after the leg. That doesn’t work either as Samu and Afa both get in their own shots as the slow beating continues.

Samu hits a superkick, some headbutts to the head and a headbutt between the legs. As dull as this match has been, the fans are indeed staying with it so far. Perfect finally fights up and kicks away, only to get hit fairly low to cut off the comeback. A small package gives Perfect two but Samu knocks him outside. Perfect manages a quick crotching on the post to no avail but has to avoid a top rope splash. The PerfectPlex finishes for Perfect at 13:36.

Rating: C-. Thank goodness the fans were there to carry this as far as it got, as there was only so much for the whole thing. Perfect was beaten up here by half of a tag team. What else were you going to expect out of this kind of a setup? It was a match for the sake of letting the fans see Mr. Perfect, but it wasn’t much for anyone outside of the arena.

Hart is listening to Crank It Up (dig that Young Stallions song) and then brags about doing the song for Bret Hart’s next match.

From Barcelona, Spain, April 24, 1993.

Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow powers him around to start and then runs Hart over with a shoulder. Back in and Hart starts in on the arm and drops a leg onto it, allowing commentary to talk about wrestlers taping up fake injuries to trick their opponents. Something close to an elbow sends Bigelow to the floor and Hart gets to pose, which isn’t his style most of the time. This time Bigelow gets smart and rams him into the post, followed by a second shot to keep Hart down.

Back in and Bigelow stomps away as Hart is clearly near total destruction. The bearhug goes on back inside, with Heenan thinking a spinebuster could work well here. Instead it’s a big belly to back suplex for two and it’s off to an over the shoulder backbreaker. Hart slips out and manages his own suplex, which has Heenan losing his mind over Hart pulling that off.

Bigelow is right back up with a nasty butterfly backbreaker, only to miss the top rope headbutt. Hart fights up and hits the usual, setting up a middle rope clothesline. The sharpshooter attempt is broken up so Bigelow tries a bearhug, which is broken up with a bite to the face. Another belly to back attempt is cut off though and Bigelow crashes onto Hart. Back up and a splash misses in the corner, allowing Hart to grab a victory roll for the victory at 11:55.

Rating: B. It might not have been their King Of The Ring final but Hart knows exactly how to do a match like this. As usual, Hart felt like he was getting close to death before pulling off the miracle win in the end. Good stuff here, as Bigelow could do the monster role rather well, especially with this kind of an opponent.

From Paris, France, April 8, 1993.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Wrestlemania rematch. Doink hides underneath the ring to start but gets caught coming back in to to start the beating early. Crush knocks him outside and the chase is on, with Doink’s stomps not having much effect back inside. There’s an atomic drop to make Doink gyrate a bit and a figure four necklock has Doink down even longer.

Crush hits a backbreaker but misses a knee, giving Doink a needed target. The knee is wrapped around the post and Doink slowly stomp away in the corner. Crush finally fights up and knocks him to the floor, setting up the head vice. Doink slips out though and walks away for the countout at 8:15.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match in a series of them. The idea of Doink was that he would play mind games and mess with people but here he was just having a boring match. Also, if you want Crush to be seen as a big deal, maybe don’t have his two matches on the same tape end with the same finish.

Jimmy Hart is impressed by all of the new technology and then talks about Shawn Michaels, who isn’t in the next match.

From Milan, Italy, April 25, 1993.

Scott Steiner vs. IRS

Neither of their partners are here for a change. IRS hides in the ropes to start, which might not be the worst idea. A battle of wrist control sends IRS to the ropes again before he does manage to get in a shot to the head. Steiner is sent outside as JR complains about not being able to find a chicken fried steak last night. Back in and a powerslam into a headlock has IRS in trouble for a change and he bails again as they’re not exactly getting into a higher gear so far.

Back in again and Steiner takes him down by the arm, only for IRS to go outside AGAIN. This time IRS gets back in and they run the ropes a bit until Steiner is sent outside, because Heaven forbid they keep anything going. A ram into the steps keeps Steiner in trouble but he gets his knees up to block a splash. IRS bails into the corner as commentary talks about how we don’t have timeouts here. BECAUSE THIS MATCH HAS BEEN SO ACTION PACKED! Steiner charges into a boot in the corner and gets two with his feet on the ropes. The referee waves that off and Steiner gets a sunset flip for the pin at 10:06.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t so much that it was a bad match but geez this was boring. IRS wasn’t exactly known for keeping the pace up and the stalling did make sense as he was trying to keep Steiner from getting to a higher gear, but that doesn’t make it fun to watch. This tape hasn’t been much to see thus far and this didn’t help at all.

From Milan, Italy, April 25, 1993.

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Mr. Fuji and Paul Bearer are here too. To say they stall for a good while here is an understatement, as Bearer takes nearly two minutes to get out of the ring. They stare each other down and Yokozuna’s shots to the head not doing much. The running DDT plants Yokozuna but he hits a clothesline to put Undertaker on the floor. A ram into the steps staggers Undertaker again and the big leg…does pretty much nothing back inside. Yokozuna hits a clothesline but Undertaker gets back up so it’s a bucket shot to Undertaker’s head for the DQ at 5:42.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness this the perfect way to wrap up this pretty terrible tape. They barely did anything, with over a third of the match being spent on them standing around and staring at each other before any contact. Then they just do another DQ, which is fine for the sake of not wanting Yokozuna to look weak, but GEEZ that’s a lot of non-finishes in one sitting.

Post match Yokozuna misses the Banzai Drop and gets “chokeslammed” (eh fair enough given the size) to send him running.

Hart gives us something of an inspirational message about never giving up and going for your dreams…and then praises Hulk Hogan, even posing to Real American to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, leave it to Hart to have the only good match on a terrible collection of wrestling. I know it’s the European tour so things aren’t going to be up to their usual standards, but sweet goodness this was dull. It’s not a good sign when the second best part of a collection is how odd the arena in Paris looked. Just lame stuff all around and it’s easy to see why 1993 is not the best time the company ever had.

 

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With Summerslam finally out of the way, I had some extra time and started back in on the pile of DVDs I bought a few weeks back.  I took care of this one, which was the first of the set so far that had actual wrestling (shocking I know).  Let’s get to it.

Bigelow is an interesting case as he’s one of the first high flying big men to gain prominence in America.  He had a very unique look with a lot of size that could move around, but that head tattoo is one of the best trademarks you’ll ever see.  He was always someone to watch and would have been a main event player back in the late 1980s had his knees not given out (and had he not been as loyal to Japan).  If nothing else, he was the first wrestler whose name I could say as a baby, though given that my first word was cranium (I don’t get it either), I don’t know how much of a positive that is.

What we have here is a collection of very random matches and parts of a 1998 shoot interview.  The interview itself is about two hours and forty five minutes but we only get about forty five minutes here.  What we do get is rather entertaining though as Bigelow is a pretty good interview, talking about everywhere he’s been (which is a lot of places) and speaking highly of himself, but not going insane.  He has praise for some people and criticisms for others so it’s not like he’s going nuts or anything.  At the same time, his discussions of what happens when you have no competition and a billionaire comes along with a bunch of money to invest in wrestling hold up 21 years later in an almost eerie manner.  I could go for the whole interview as what we got was intriguing stuff.

The matches….I don’t get it.  I understand that they could only use certain stuff so we have an indy match, a pair of ECW fancam matches and a short clip from a Memphis match in 1986, but there’s one problem: Bigelow goes 1-3 in these matches, including losing a title in one of them.  If the set is supposed to be a nice look at Bigelow, who in the world thought showing him losing most of the time was a good idea?

The whole thing only runs about an hour and a half so it’s a very quick sit with one good match and some interesting stuff in the interview, so this was as easy of a DVD as you could sit through.  The other three matches combine to be about as long as the good one so even they don’t weigh it down too much.  It’s a nice entry, but it feels like it was put together without thinking things through.  Bigelow isn’t going to get the big WWE DVD release so this is about all you can ask for.

And now, the matches.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Samu
Date: November 6, 1998
Location: Patterson Catholic High School, Patterson, New Jersey
Commentators: Unknown

This is from an Independent Superstars of Professional Wrestling (ISPW) event. Samu (Roman Reigns’ father) is a pretty big guy as well, though nowhere near as big as Bigelow of course. Commentary talks about Bigelow being a champion everywhere in the world. And that’s very true, assuming you leave out the two biggest companies he had worked for so far. Samu jumps him at the bell and gets in a “beautiful eye rake”. Bigelow comes out of the corner with some clotheslines and it’s time to go out to the floor.

Samu goes into various metal objects as one of the commentators suggests going after the bare pinkie toe. Back in and Bigelow misses a splash in the corner, allowing Samu to hit a “beautiful” side kick. Choking ensues and what looked to be a low blow in the corner keeps Bigelow in trouble. Samu bites in the corner and pokes him in the eye, only to miss a splash of his own. The referee gets bumped off a clothesline, just as Bigelow hits his headbutt. The timing of these things is one of the great marvels of wrestling. Cue another Samoan to hit Bigelow with a chair though and Samu gets the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D+. Of all the matches you could pick for Bigelow, you start the match with a loss? I know it’s kind of hard to find an indy match for him, but you would think they could find a squash win for him. Either way, they treated Bigelow as a big deal here and it wasn’t a clean loss, but the match wasn’t even that good.

Post match, Bigelow promises to get a piece of Samu’s a** and make it his. That’s getting a tad personal, no?

ECW TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Date: April 4, 1998
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 2,600

Bigelow is defending and this is fan cam footage so the quality isn’t exactly quality. Bigelow (with a bandage on the side of his head) comes out to Welcome To The Jungle and the star power is strong with this one as Bigelow almost charges to the ring and you can feel the raw energy. The song is kind of perfect for a wrestling entrance (it was used in the WrestleCon Supershow Battle Royal and one of the commentators said “This could be any independent wrestler since the 80s!”) but my goodness it’s weird to see Bigelow with a belt. Van Dam (with Bill Alfonso) is just a cocky heel at this point and not the ECW legend he would become.

We get some LAWRENCE TAYLOR chants during the Big Match Intros for a little old school twist. They take their time to start with Bigelow being weary of the kicks. Bigelow gets smart and punches him in the face but Rob is right back with the kicks. For some reason Rob tries a charge in the corner and is thrown down like he’s not even there. I mean, as much as you can throw something that isn’t there….I think. We get a breather on the floor so Fonzie can give Van Dam some pointers, or maybe make a weed order.

Back in and Bigelow pounds away some more but the top rope kick to the face takes him down. Rolling Thunder: beta version gets one and Bigelow low bridges him to the floor. That means an exchange of postings before Van Dam’s headscissors is easily countered with a shove over the barricade. They’re playing up a nice story here with Rob using all of his flying and athleticism and Bigelow just using raw power.

The fight into the crowd is capped off with Bigelow being sent face first into the barricade and then getting kicked right back into the chairs. Fonzie declares Bigelow soft as a boiled egg as Van Dam pelts a chair at Bigelow’s head. That sets up the big dive over the barricade as Van Dam is breaking him down. A CRAZY top rope flip dive over the barricade takes Bigelow down again but Van Dam crashes even harder. The legdrop over the barricade (minus the spin) keeps Bigelow in trouble but Van Dam is spent from all the flips.

Bigelow is back up with a slam onto the timekeeper’s table and a big elbow off the apron puts Van Dam through it in a crash that isn’t as big as you would expect around here. It takes some time for them to get up so Van Dam kicks him in the head, with the bandage gone and the blood flowing. Back in and Bigelow runs him over again but misses the moonsault (I always liked how he did those), setting up the Five Star (or close to it) for two.

A Samoan drop (with Van Dam landing on his shoulder) gets two and Bigelow spikes him with a scary looking brainbuster for the same. Greetings From Asbury Park bumps the referee so here’s Sabu to throw a chair at Bigelow. Not to be outdone, Bigelow throws Sabu at Van Dam and then powerbombs him, with Sabu somehow landing on his face (only Sabu). The chair is back in though as it’s the Van Daminator for the pin and the title at 15:47.

Rating: B-. Remind me to not sign up for a compilation DVD anytime soon as it seems to be a bunch of losses. I liked this one and the interference at the end is fine as it makes sense to have Fonzie’s guys cheat to win the title. Van Dam was about to have a rocket attached to his back as he would hold the title for nearly two years without ever being defeated for it as a broken ankle forced him to vacate it.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. New Jack
Date: February 20, 1998
Location: Woodbridge Armory, Woodbridge, New Jersey
Attendance: 1,200

Fancam again and since it’s a New Jack match, the music is blaring so loudly that there may or may not have been a bell. Bigelow jumps him during the entrance and pounds away with a headbutt sending Jack into the pile of weapons. A low blow is loaded up as Bigelow somehow doesn’t notice Jack holding a big metal sheet, which goes right along the tattooed head. And now, here’s an umbrella, because Jack apparently inspired Jack Gallagher.

Rating: D+. Well at least he won something. This was all about the weapons vs. the wrestler though Bigelow can brawl very well in his own right. I’ve never cared for New Jack for the most part but it’s hard not to smile a little bit at him being so into what he does. As long as they don’t advertise him as a wrestler and just acknowledge that he’s a gimmick nutjob, he can be acceptable in small doses like this one.

Post match the beatdown is on until someone (looks like John Kronus) comes in for the save. This goes badly for him as well with Greetings From Asbury Park leaving him laying. Jack and Kronus get destroyed with the weapons.

AWA Southern Title/AWA International Title: Jerry Lawler vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Date: September 8, 1986
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Lance Russell

Lawler is International Champion, Bigelow is Southern Champion and this is a Texas Deathmatch, meaning Last Man Standing but you have to get a pin before the count starts. Therefore, we’re joined in progress in the seventh fall, with Russell saying we’re about thirty minutes in. Lawler knocks him down but gets whipped into the referee in the corner.

A splash gives Bigelow the pin from a groggy referee, who doesn’t notice Lawler’s feet on the ropes. Bigelow’s manager Larry Sharpe blasts Bigelow with a chair by mistake and they’re both down after a rest period. Lawler gets to his feet first and gets both titles at 4:14 shown. I’m not rating four minutes (with over a minute of the two of them laying after the bell) of a thirty minute match but this was classic Memphis.

Post match Sharpe beats Bigelow up, which for some reason needed a quick intro from Lawler.