A Tribute To The Extreme 2: It Fits

A Tribute To The Extreme 2
Date: April 5, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentator; Joe Dombrowski

It’s Wrestlemania Weekend in Philadelphia so you knew something like this was coming. The show is exactly what it sounds like as Battleground Championship Wrestling (local indy) is presenting a special night for ECW. There are various ECW wrestlers on the show and the Dudleys are going into the arena’s Hall Of Fame, which should be special. Let’s get to it.

Here is Team 3D to a hero’s welcome to get things going. The fans thank them but Ray says thank you instead. Ray talks about being in a much worse version of this building in 1997 and hit the first 3D right in here. They went on to become the most successful team in history and it was because of the fans. Thank you for showing up for either Team 3D or the Dudley Boyz. D-Von does the catchphrases and you can tell that they’re both loving this.

Team 3D vs. Atshushi Onita/Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer is a mystery partner but…..it’s the ECW Arena. What was the mystery supposed to be? Believe it or not, Dreamer has something to say before the match. He agrees that this is awesome and this is the point of a place like this. Dreamer is here with Onita because of a talk that Onita, Dreamer and Ray had at WrestleCon in Dallas a few years ago. They talked to Terry Funk on the phone and Onita was given the phone, which left him in tears. Without Funk, there would be no Onita or Dreamer so for that they are bonded forever. With that, Dreamer hits Ray in the head with a microphone and let’s get started.

Believe it or not, it’s a brawl to start with the Dudleyz being knocked down and the referee getting misted by Onita. They fight to the floor to keep up the brawl, with commentary saying Ray and Dreamer are probably fighting about Busted Open Radio. Dreamer’s sends Ray face first into a woman’s chest and then rings the bell on D-Von’s crotch.

A plastic table is brought in and Onita is busted open off something in there. D-Von hits Onita with popcorn as Dreamer hits the Flip, Flop and Fly on Ray for a double knockdown. Back in and the Dudleyz switch places on What’s Up to Onita before it’s time to get the tables. A 3D puts Dreamer through the table for the pin at 7:52.

Rating: C. I don’t think there is any secret to the fact that this wasn’t about having a top level match or really anything close to it. Instead, this was about the Dudleyz getting back in the ring for one more match in the arena where they started. There is nothing wrong with that and while the match was little more than a garbage brawl, that was pretty much entirely the point.

Respect is shown post match. Dreamer grabs the mic (again) and talks about how D-Von and Onita have had health issues but they had to do this one more time. Oh and thank you Paul Heyman for everything. And the fans too. We’re still not done as Onita says….something about ECW.

We pause to clean up the ring, with the ring announcer grabbing a broom as well.

Here is our host for the evening, the Blue Meanie! The fans chant for the BWO, with Meanie talking about how that was supposed to be a one off appearance but the fans made it go on for years. Meanie thanks the fans and Battleground Championship Wrestling and the building which changed wrestling forever.

Shane Douglas vs. CW Anderson

Francine is here with Douglas and seems very happy to be here. Douglas asks the fans to treat them like they did in 1994 and the rather insulting chants almost have Francine crying. Francine hasn’t forgotten everything they’ve sang and chanted at her over the years and she DESERVES RESPECT! They can walk out right now but instead just get Douglas’ opponent out here.

Douglas grabs a headlock to start as commentary talks about how great he was, despite other promotions telling him no over and over. They’re quickly on the floor with Douglas whipping him into the barricade but getting rammed face first into the apron a few times. Francine offers a distraction though, allowing Douglas to get in a low blow on the way back in. Another Francine distraction doesn’t work as Anderson blocks the low blow and hits a basement clothesline. Francine comes in and gets spanked, leaving Anderson to hit a superkick for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: C. As you can probably guess, the wrestling itself isn’t the point of this show. This is about getting people out there in front of the fans one more time and having a quick match to make it a wrestling show rather than a reunion. I’m a bit surprised that a star as big as Douglas lost, but let the fans be happy I guess?

Post match Anderson bows down to Douglas and we get some hugs. Anderson goes to leave but Douglas says hang on. We look at the Hall Of Fame banners as Douglas talks about how this place used to be infested with rats and a terrible place to be, but there was nowhere in the world better for wrestling. Douglas brings up people like Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido, but Anderson showed up closer to the end. Anderson worked hard and got over and, after getting in a quick shot at Vince McMahon, Douglas tells the fans to applaud themselves and give us one heck of an ECW chant.

Crowbar vs. Danny Doring

Crowbar has his lackeys Vanessa and Percival with him. They fight over a lockup to start with Doring hitting a chop, allowing him to strut. A suplex puts Crowbar down and Doring knocks him out to the floor, where Percival cuts off a dive. Vanessa offers a distraction so Doring can get in a cheap shot to take over.

A neckbreaker over the ropes into a slingshot splash gives Crowbar two but Doring drop toeholds him down. The Rings of Saturn is broken up and Crowbar grabs a Sky High into something like a surfboard. We’ll make that a camel clutch, with Doring making the ropes. They head outside with Crowbar hitting a Vader Bomb off the barricade for a big crash.

Back in and they slug it out with Doring no selling some shots to the face. Doring sends Crowbar outside for a flip dive, which takes out Percival as well. Since it’s ECW, we get a chair brought in for some shots to the back, with Vanessa pulling the referee at two. Crowbar clotheslines Vanessa by mistake so Doring plants him, only to have Percival break it up. A northern lights suplex onto the chair gives Crowbar the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C-. Of all the matches on this show to get this much time, they picked a guy who was best known for a comedy tag tam and a guy who is barely remembered in ECW? This was a really weird choice and the match was boring on top of it, making this quite the mess. The other matches at least had some nostalgic charm to them but this one was just mostly dull.

Respect is shown post match. Crowbar says they didn’t spend much time together in ECW but they got to know each other and now they are brothers.

Alvin vs. Jason Knight

Alvin is a rather large Battleground Championship Wrestling guy with no connection to ECW and Missy Hyatt in his corner. Knight on the other hand has been mostly inactive for about nine and a half years and is in rather good shape. Knight grabs a hammerlock into a headlock takeover before firing off forearms to the chest.

Back up and Knight knocks him down a few more times, only for Hyatt to grab the rope. A corner splash gives Alvin two and he sends Knight outside. With that adding nothing, it’s back inside where Alvin hits another splash. The fans don’t like Alvin so he hammers away and goes up, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Hyatt offers a distraction so that Alvin can get in a brass knuckles shot for the pin at 7:23.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this one was lacking the fun or special feeling that made the show fun for the first part. Alvin getting the win over an ECW guy isn’t exactly interesting and it was a slow match to make it worse. I’m not sure what the thinking was here, as it’s fine to push one of your regulars, but doing it at a tribute show is a bit weird.

Post match Alvin gets the mic and is told to shut the f*** up. Alvin: “I HAVEN’T TALKED YET!” Alvin mocks Knight and calls ECW, Knight, the Dudleyz, Shane Douglas and various other ECW legends “myths”. Cue Sandman through the crowd and we get the big Metallica entrance, which is still awesome. Alvin keeps calling him a myth and an f’ing drunk, with Sandman giving a funny “is this guy serious?” look. Sandman whips out a beer and canes Alvin down, then does it again as per the fans’ request. This is the definition of harmless nostalgic fun.

We seem to get an intermission (cut from the recorded version).

Joel Gertner vs. Bill Alfonso

Battleground Championship Wrestling owner Tim Embler (who can’t stand Gertner) is at ringside. Gertner mocks the idea of Alfonso calling it down the middle but says Embler has no idea of how to call it down the middle. Embler wasn’t here for the first half of the show but he’s here now because he’s taking sides. Gertner does his usual limerick about Embler, suggesting that he’s here for Alfonso, with his whistle, due to his fondness of blowing. As a bonus, we have Tod Gordon as guest referee.

We get a weapons check and Gertner has a bottle of ether. And a manicuring set, which is totally not to stab Alfonso. And a pen, which is there to clean his shirt. Alfonso throws the ether at Gertner, who wants a DQ, but the match hasn’t started yet. We’re still not ready to go yet, because Gertner has a note note.

He is unable to wrestle due to a variety of wrestling injuries, such as a broken meniscus in his nasal cavity. The note is from his mother, who apparently knows about Gertner’s swollen groin. Gordon says ring the bell, so Gertner offers money ($1 bills) so Gordon drops down for a trip, with Alfonso getting the win at 32 seconds. Funny stuff here and nothing wrong with that.

Post match Gordon has Embler get in the ring and praises him for what he has done. Embler says he will never allow the flame of the extreme to be extinguished. He hopes Paul Heyman dedicates his Hall Of Fame induction speech to the fans because this doesn’t work without them. Embler and Gordon leave so here is Krisitan Ross (one of Gertner’s goons) to jump Alfonso and bust him open. The fans want Rob Van Dam and Ross mocks the RVD pose but security takes Ross out instead. Well that’s disappointing. Even if you don’t have Van Dam, you don’t have one legend there to make a save?

Rhino vs. Masato Tanaka

This should hurt. Tanaka backs him into the corner to start and we get a clean break. A wristlock sends Rhino into the ropes before he grabs a wristlock of his own. That doesn’t work for them so they head outside, where Rhino’s chop hits the post. Back in and Tanaka slugs away, with Rhino telling him to bring it. Tanaka gets the better of things and grabs a chinlock…but Rhino fights up and hits the Gore for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another disappointing match as I was expecting more from two guys who might be a bit older but are still active. I’m not sure I get why they cut this so short, as while I didn’t need some big violent bloody brawl, I could have gone for more of….anything. This could have been worse and Rhino winning is fine, but where was the rest of this one?

Pitbull Revolution vs. Da Baldies/HC Loc

That would be Alec Odin/Gary Wolfe/Traxx vs. Angel/Tony DeVito with Loc. Street fight and it’s a brawl to start, with Wolfe hammering on DeVito as we get the New Jack tradition of having the music playing throughout. They head outside as the fight is all over the place and Traxx FU’s Loc through a chair. It’s time for the box of Legos but Angel saves Loc. Instead it’s Traxx being shoved onto them, with Loc hitting a middle rope elbow for two. Wolfe cleans house with an Anthony Durante (Pitbull #1) flag and it’s time for the ladder around the neck, with a shot to the face finishing DeVito at 6:22.

Rating: C. So that happened. This was supposed to be the big wild, hardcore brawl and it only worked so well with the people involved. I didn’t care for Da Baldies back in the original ECW and watching them almost twenty five years later didn’t make it much better. It was barely a match and rather a bunch of wild spots, which is about all it was ever going to be. You had to have something like this on the show so they might as well get it out of the way.

Samoan Gangsta Party vs. FBI

That would be Samu/Lance Anoa’i (father and son) vs. Little Guido/Tommy Rich. Samu and Rich start things off with the latter working on the wrist as commentary gives us a brief Anoa’i Family Tree history. It’s quickly off to Guido….but Rich would rather have a dance off. Lance busts out a Worm and the FBI does their own version, only to have Lance deck them from behind.

Guido gets knocked to the floor, where he hits Lance in the face with a drink to…well not do much really as Lance takes over back inside. The Samoan drop gives Lance two but the Superfly Splash misses. It’s back to Rich to clean a few of the rooms before going to the floor with Samu. Lance superkicks Guido for the pin at 6:34.

Rating: C. Is it bad that I was wanting more from the dance off? Lance looks like someone who could be something somewhere with some better coaching as he certainly has the look and the lineage. Guido is an older guy who can still do well enough in the ring, while Rich and Samu are the really old guys who are there to make this feel special.

Post match the FBI teases brawling again before hugging, as is their custom.

Juventud Guerrera vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Before the match, Juventud says this is his last match in the United States. He loves the fans but he is sick of the backstabbing and the politics in this country. On May 18, he’ll have a big show in Mexico and that’s his last show there too, so come check it out. Scorpio grabs the mic and doesn’t buy Juventud saying that he’s going to retire. Eh ok he is lying and drops a bunch of F bombs on the fans.

Scorpio slugs away to start and knocks the mask off before dropping a leg. The slingshot flipping legdrop connects before Scorpio takes him down for a hair pull. Juventud flips out of a sunset flip and hits a basement dropkick. A middle rope crossbody gives Juventud two and a dropkick just annoys Scorpio. Juventud gets knocked down but avoids a moonsault. A running knee finishes Scorpio at 6:02.

Rating: C+. This one at least had a slightly faster pace, but it was still only so good. I’m not sure what the point was in having Juventud lie to the fans, insult them, and then get the win but the people didn’t seem to mind. This was still one of the better matches of the show, mainly due to the talent involved.

Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

The fans rather approve of this as they lock up to start. They fight over wrist control as commentary explains the history between the two, which really was quite nice. Nothing happens on the mat and the fans are rather split. Crazy manages an armdrag out to the floor and Tajiri is happy to take a breather. Hold on though as cue Mikey Whipwreck to ask what the f*** is going on. Forget the chain wrestling because it’s midnight in Philadelphia this needs to be a Mexican Japanese Death Match!

Tajiri takes the hint and they brawl out into the crowd, with Crazy already busted open as they come back to ringside. Some chairs are thrown inside and a piece of a door to the head rocks Crazy again. The ladder is put between Crazy’s legs in the corner for the big chair shot and Tajiri kicks him down for two.

We hit the chinlock for a needed breather (and some near falls) before another kick gets another two on Crazy. They had outside (with Whipwreck very interested) with the beating continuing for a rather delayed near fall. Crazy manages a quick backbreaker and some right hands in the corner but Tajiri is back with the Tarantula. Tajiri misses the Buzzsaw Kick though and Crazy mists him into the rollup for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: B-. This feels like a pairing where they might not have worked together in years (and they hadn’t) and still have a good match because they know each other that well. Of course they weren’t as good as they were twenty plus years ago but this was still the best match of the night and likely would have been with or without the rule change halfway through. Good stuff here, and it did feel like the renewing of a classic rivalry.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that this show was about the atmosphere and nostalgia rather than the wrestling. In a way that makes sense, as ECW was rarely about the wrestling (with some exceptions) and was mainly about the fans having a good time. That’s what they did here, and while they didn’t have all of the ECW legends (which would have made the show run WAY too long), they had enough to make the whole thing work well enough.

With that being said, this show needed some tweaks, as there is a stretch near the middle that REALLY drags. They might have been better off by closing with the Sandman stuff or the Dudleyz’s match, just for the sake of going out on their biggest notes. In short, the show was good when it focused on ECW and bad when it focused on the non-ECW, which is kind of the point of a show like this one. What we got was good but with another daft of the rundown, this could have been a fair bit better.

However, the important thing here though was to pay tribute to ECW and that is exactly what this felt like. As was said many times on here, it’s hard to believe that a lot of these people are going to be able to get back in the ring again so letting them do this at a pretty well put together show is a nice way to go. The tributes and nice moments were what mattered most, as a lot of the people felt like they were saying goodbye to one of the most important venues in modern wrestling history.

 

 

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WrestleCon Supershow 2024: Vague Memories

WrestleCon Supershow 2024
Date: April 4, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Veda Scott

It’s one of the biggest independent events of Wrestlemania Weekend and as usual, the card is rather stacked. You will regularly get some rather nice surprises to boost up what is already advertised and that makes it a lot more fun. This time around most of the card has been advertised in advance to change it up a bit. Let’s get to it.

I was in the crowd for this, sitting near the stage (all of three feet in front of commentary, which I could hear throughout for a really weird feeling). However, I had a bad case of vertigo kick in just before the show started and it didn’t wrap up until around the start of the main event so I spent a good chunk of this show trying not to fall over. I don’t remember much of it as a result so this should be fun.

ECW announcer Stephen DeAngelis welcomes us to the show and shows us a video on Mark Hitchcock, a graphic designer who passed away on his honeymoon. The show has been named in his honor ever since.

Joey Janela vs. Nic Nemeth

Feeling out process to start with neither getting anywhere off an exchange of lockups. Nemeth wrestles him down without much trouble and Janela seems to realize he’s in trouble on the mat. Janela gets over to the ropes before running Nemeth down in a bit more successful strategy. Back up and Nemeth misses a Stinger Splash, allowing Janela to hit a rather snazzy chop.

Nemeth gets sent into the ropes for a quick German suplex and Janela sends him outside as commentary talks about the paths these two took to get here. Back in and we hit the neck crank as Gill has quite the trouble remembering if it’s Nemeth or Ziggler (fair enough). Janela hits some more hard chops as commentary talks about how you can hear the chops throughout the arena (true).

An Angle Slam gets Nemeth out of trouble for a much needed breather as they’re both down. Back up and Nemeth starts the comeback, with a ram into four different corners. The superkick is blocked though and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. They slug it out and trade superkicks until Nemeth hits a dropkick for another double knockdown.

Janela manages to grab the Death Valley Driver onto the apron but Nemeth is right back with the running DDT for two. Nemeth’s Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb, followed by the package piledriver for another near fall. Janela takes too long going up and gets superplexed back down for the big crash. Back up and Janela hits a running elbow to put both of them down again. Nemeth shrugs that off and hits a Fameasser into the Danger Zone for the pin at 18:17.

Rating: B. Janela likes to go long in his matches but he did well here. This isn’t about some big long term story or anything serious, but rather having an entertaining match. Nemeth getting to do things outside of WWE is rather interesting for a change and facing Janela in a long match is almost a rite of passage. Good stuff here and it felt like a match that could have hung on a more traditional show.

Los Boricuas vs. FBI/???

This would be Savio Vega/Miguel Perez Jr./Nathalya Perez (with the rest of the team) vs. Little Guido/Tommy Rich/a mystery partner in the form of….Deonna Purrazzo (and Tony Mamaluke to even things up a bit). For those of you who don’t know who Nathalya is Miguel’s daughter, making her the first ever third generation Puerto Rican wrestler. Miguel and Guido start things off but it’s quickly off to Savio vs. Rich.

Nathalya comes in and wants Purrazzo, which does not seem to be a good idea. Nathalya actually takes her into the corner and chops away, only for Purrazzo to demonstrate it a bit better. Purrazzo drops her rather quickly so it’s off to Miguel, who drives Rich into the corner. An elbow to the head gets Rich out of trouble and Guido comes in for a Paisan elbow in a nice flashback.

Hold on though as Guido is sent outside for some Boricuas cheating, meaning we have a big ejection. Miguel grabs a chinlock on Guido before Savio comes back in and is promptly crossbodied. Miguel is right there to cut him off with a clothesline but Guido gets in a middle rope…we’ll call it a clothesline. The tag brings Rich back in for the right hands as everything breaks down. Nathalya slugs it out with Purrazzo and they trade kicks to the head, only for Purrazzo to grab the Fujiwara armbar for the tap at 9:33.

Rating: C. This was there for the sake of some goofy old school fun and there is nothing wrong with that. The fans are going to be into the FBI and their goofy dancing while Los Boricuas certainly have a reputation. Purrazzo was a nice surprise and fit in well with the team, while Nathalya’s biggest flaw is she looks incredibly young. That will change with time, but for now, she looks like a teenager out there. Anyway, fun match to pop the live crowd.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mike Bailey

Veda Scott is a bit biased here, which might be due to her being married to Bailey. Bill Alfonso is here with Van Dam for the old school feeling and yes it’s Walk for the entrance music. As a bonus, Jerry Lynn is guest referee. They fight over a lockup to start until Van Dam fakes a clean break by grabbing a headlock. Said headlock takes Bailey over a few times but he headscissors his way to freedom.

Back up and they both miss kicks for a standoff, with the fans dubbing this awesome. For some reason Van Dam thinks it’s time to pose, allowing Bailey to kick him down. You don’t break up Van Dam’s posing so he chokes on the ropes, poses, and hits a slingshot legdrop. Bailey is draped over the barricade for the spinning kick to the back for the nasty landing on the floor. Van Dam takes too long getting some water from a fan and gets taken down by an Asai moonsault. Gill worries about Fonzie being taken out as well but Scott said “don’t worry, he’s a resilient chap”.

Back in and Bailey hits a hard Helluva Kick into a Tajiri handspring elbow into a running shooting star press for two. The moonsault knees miss though and Van Dam gets two off a rollup. That’s enough to draw Fonzie in for an argument, which only allows Bailey to nail the bouncing kicks. Bailey misses a big kick but Van Dam misses the Rolling Thunder. The shooting star misses for Bailey so Fonzie throws in the chair for a Van Daminator. The Five Star finishes Bailey at 10:57.

Rating: C+. Oh like Van Dam was losing in the ECW Arena on a special show like this. The good thing about Van Dam is that unlike most of the former ECW stars, he can still more than hang in there and have a perfectly watchable match. That was the case here as he and Bailey had an entertaining match with the right ending. Nice stuff here and seeing Van Dam in this building was special.

Rev Pro British Heavyweight Title: Michael Oku vs. Titan

Oku, with Amira, is defending. They go with the grappling to start with Titan twisting out of a wristlock. Stereo dropkick attempts miss and they chop it out, with Oku sticking his chest out but getting kicked in the stomach instead. Back up and Oku sends him outside, only for Titan to jump back inside for the suicide dive.

They get back inside where Titan kicks him in various areas but Oku is back with a middle rope dropkick. With Titan on the floor, Oku hits a running shooting star over the ropes to take him out again. A high crossbody gives Oku two back inside but Titan drops him on the apron. That means a top rope double stomp, only to have Titan come up favoring his knee. Back in and Titan misses another double stomp, allowing Oku to knee him in the face.

The Lionsault sets up the half crab (Oku’s finisher) but the rope is reached rather quickly. Titan’s knee is fine enough to hit a springboard tornado DDT and we get a double breather. They forearm it out until Titan gets the better of an exchange of kicks to the face. Titan’s top rope double stomp gets two but bangs up the knee again. Oku pulls him into the half crab and bridges back for the tap to retain at 15:32.

Rating: B. It was a good, back and forth match with the title helping a lot. I’m not sue I get Oku’s appeal a lot of the time, but he was feeling it here and the submission/high flying combination worked well here. Titan did well with his own stuff as well and it was a rather entertaining match that felt like it could have been on any regular show, which is a nice fit in on a show like this one.

Rascalz vs. Matt Riddle/Mustafa Ali

That was unadvertised so all three entrances get quite the reaction. Riddle takes Wentz down without much trouble to start and they wrestle to a standoff. Wentz gets a headscissors but Riddle slips out, only to miss the big kick to the chest. Back up and Wentz slips out of a German suplex and they slap each other in the face, followed by an exchange of respectful nods.

Ali comes in and takes over on Miguel’s arm but Miguel is right back up with an armbar of his own. They trade some quick near falls and that’s good for a standoff. Everything breaks down and Riddle sends the Rascalz to the floor for the big dive from Ali in a nice bit of teamwork. Back in and Wentz kicks Riddle down to grab the chinlock, followed by the wishbone into stereo basement dropkicks (ouch) for two.

Miguel kicks him in the head again but Ali gets over to bring Ali in and pick up the pace. Riddle gets pulled off the apron though and Ali misses a charge into the corner, allowing the double teaming strikes to drop Ali for two more. Wentz’s hard DDT gets two but Ali fights right back up (as tends to be the case) and brings Riddle back in to clean house. A snazzy German suplex gets two on Miguel but the Floating Bro is broken up. Ali is back in with the tornado DDT, only to miss the 450 and roll into a cutter from Wentz. A springboard cutter drops Riddle, who bounces back up with a double cutter. The Bro Derek finishes Miguel at 14:20.

Rating: B. Ali and Riddle are something of an indy dream team at the moment and it was cool to see them getting together and having a heck of a match here. At the same time, there is something odd about seeing a makeshift team beating a regular team, which was a major focal point from commentary. That being said, it’s hard to imagine most people beating Riddle when he gets into that mode and the match was rather good.

Respect is shown post match.

Josh Alexander vs. Masato Tanaka

Alexander easily takes it to the mat for an early standoff and they fight over hammerlock control. A running shoulder puts Tanaka down but he’s back up with the right hands in the corner. They chop it out until Alexander dragon screw legwhips him down. Tanaka’s leg is fine enough for him to grab a suplex, only to have Alexander roll some German suplexes for two.

The C4 Spike is countered into the sliding elbow to give Tanaka two of his own. Tanaka’s top rope superplex…doesn’t really hurt Alexander, who pops back up for the clothesline comeback (?). The Roaring Elbow gives Tanaka two but his top rope splash hits raised knees. That means the ankle lock (the first of many I’m sure) goes on for Alexander but Tanaka rolls out, earning himself the running crossbody to the back.

Back in and Tanaka wins a slugout, even knocking Alexander’s headgear off. Alexander elbows him down for two and they forearm it out again. Tanaka knocks him into the corner for Diamond Dust and another near fall but Alexander is back with a powerbomb onto the knee. The C4 Spike finishes Tanaka at 12:16.

Rating: B. Take two hard hitters and let them beat the fire out of each other for about twelve minutes until the bigger name hits his finisher for the pin. It was a good, hard hitting match and one of those “hmm, that’s interesting” deals that you can see on a show like this one. Alexander continues to feel like a big fish in a small pond with TNA so it’s nice to see him getting a moment to shine here.

The ring announcer thanks the fans.

Team CMLL vs. Team Dragon Gate

CMLL: Averno/Barbaro Cavernario/Mistico/Star Jr./Villano III Jr.
Dragon Gate: Dragon Kid/Kota Minoura/Kzy/Shun Skywalker/Yamato

The annual ten man tag is a WrestleCon Supershow signature. Skywalker (quite the villain) bails to the floor to start as commentary is flat out saying they can’t keep track of all these people. Cavernario and Kid start things off with some grappling on the mat until Cavernario pulls him into a quickly broken surfboard. Cavernario hits him in the face but Kid snaps off a headscissors.

Averno and Yamato come in with Averno taking Yamato down but getting caught with an arm crank. With that not working, we get the big staredown between Skywalker and Mistico, with the handshake not happening. Mistico snaps off a running headscissors to send him outside and there’s the dive to take Skywalker out again. Everything breaks down for a brawl on the floor until we settle down to Star chopping it out with Kzy.

Star hits a jumping uppercut to put Kzy down until Star ties him in the ropes for a springboard fadeaway legdrop (ala Carmelo Hayes). A kind of flipping slam plants Kzy for two and Star hits a springboard clothesline. Villano comes in to hammer away on Minoura as everything breaks down again.

We settle down (kind of) to Skywalker throwing Cavernario into the corner, allowing Kid to come in and drop some knees. Averno comes in and gets stomped down before Yamato grabs a quickly broken chinlock. It’s back to Villano, who is taken down as well with Dragon Gate holding his partners back in a smart move. That doesn’t last long either as Star comes in and gets taken down in a hurry.

Kzy’s elbow to the back gets two with Mistico making the save but getting caught in the wrong corner as well. Mistico and Minoura strike it out until a swinging Boss Man Slam gives Minoura two. Skywalker comes in but Mistico is back with a handspring double elbow and it’s back to Star. The big dive to the floor takes out most of Dragon Gate and Mistico hits a bigger dive to send them into the crowd.

Back in and Kid gets triple teamed but manages to hand it back to Averno. Skywalker gets caught in the ropes for a bunch of strikes to the chest/head and back to back triplebombs get two with Kid making the save. Averno gets super hurricanranaed down and a frog splash gets two and Cavernario gets kicked in the head….sending him into the Worm.

Something like a Vader Bomb hits Kid or two as everything breaks down. Mistico gets kicked down by Kzy but Skywalker shoves his own partner down, wanting the win for himself. That lets Star hit a top rope double stomp on Skywalker, setting up an arm/leg crank. Mistico adds La Mistica to Kzy for the double submission at 24:47.

Rating: B. This was quite the display of talent with everyone in there going nuts to get int heir own bit of offense. That being said, the match ran long as the stretch where Dragon Gate triple teamed people and cut the ring off just kept going. It was a fun spectacle but never really did anything all that huge to take it up to the next level.

Post match Skywalker goes after CMLL again and gets stomped down.

Of note: following the show, I went to dinner and wound up sitting next to most of Team CMLL (minus Mistico). They were all unmasked but I recognized Cavernario, who confirmed it was the rest of the team and apparently some others. None of them could say who they were, but it was a rather cool treat.

Gill hypes up the main event and intros the ring announcer, who isn’t quite ready, resulting in a 47 second run on sentence introduction with Gill all but begging him to start talking. You could hear the relief in Gill’s voice when the introductions began and he got some applause for his efforts.

Paul Walter Hauser vs. Sami Callihan

Street fight and Hauser is mainly an (Emmy Award winning) actor who occasionally wrestles. Callihan jumps him from behind to start and says F*** Philly/WrestleCon because he’s about to cut up an Emmy winner. The stomping is on, followed by a kendo stick shot to the back. Callihan grabs a bag of toys, starting with a piece of paper to cut the creases between Hauser’s fingers.

Naturally he follows with a lemon to squeeze the juice into the cuts for the real pain. The pizza cutter slices Hauser’s head up as commentary brings up Hauser invading Callihan’s Wrestling Revolver promotion. Back in and Callihan carves him up with the cutter again but Hauser busts out some powder for a needed breather. Callihan hits him with a table but chops the post by mistake.

It’s time for a door, though we pause for Hauser to trade his torn shirt to a fan for a fresh one. Back in and Hauser misses a charge to get sent through the door and Callihan whips out some staple guns. Callihan even throws one to Hauser and they trade staples to various body parts. Hauser staples him low and drops a headbutt for two. It’s time for thumbtacks but Hauser’s middle rope elbow only hits said tacks.

A table is brought in and a powerbomb sends Hauser through it for two. Callihan knocks the referee down and grabs the kendo stick. Said stick is thrown down so Callihan kicks him low and gets two from Bill Alfonso of all people. The near fall doesn’t work for Callihan, who decks Alfonso and grabs the kendo stick….for the Sandman’s pose.

The lights go out and we get the full Enter Sandman treatment as the Sandman is here. I remember watching Sandman as a kid and thinking this was the coolest entrance ever so getting to see it in person, in the ECW Arena, even when Sandman is 60 and has been retired forever, was an all time wrestling moment. For a bonus, we also cut back to the ring where Alfonso is just sitting in the corner watching the entrance in a funny moment. Sandman finally gets in and canes Callihan, allowing Hauser to hit the White Russian Legsweep into the tacks for the pin at 23:38.

Rating: C. The match itself was WAY too long, but the only thing that mattered here was getting in the big Sandman moment at the end. Hauser gets to beat the evil Callihan in a fun and special ending and it did that well enough. The problem is the match could have been ten minutes shorter, as you can only see so much of Callihan beating him up in between short comebacks. This had to headline for the sake of Sandman though and that was worth the wait.

Hauser thanks the fans for letting him into their world to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show is always tricky to do as it has so many things going on with all kinds of interesting matches. While some of them didn’t quite work, the stuff that was good was very good, especially with just the right amount of ECW nostalgia. I look forward to this show every year and it worked again here, albeit with a few less than great spots.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 10, 2007: The Reveal

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2007
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the big reveal as this week will see the reveal of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. This is the kind of story that feels like it should be a huge moment, with Mr. Kennedy feeling like the likely surprise, but that pesky steroids suspension seems to be throwing a wrench into the plans. That should open up a new door too, so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting fast because here is Vince McMahon, with Coach, to get things going. Vince recaps the story, saying that he has an illegitimate son and that he is a “WWO” (Vince: “Let me try that again.”) superstar. Vince blames the mother for causing all of these problems before informing the fans that Coach DOES NOT suck. The only thing that makes Vince feel better is that his son isn’t from Green Bay, like Mr. Kennedy, who is on the current WWE Magazine. Vince happens to have a copy, which he has Coach rip up.

Enough of that though, as Vince wants to know who his son is, which brings out Great Khali. Runjin Singh translates for Great Khali, who said that “things are looking up” must mean him and he would be proud to be called The Great McMahon. Cue JBL to interrupt to talk about how he and Vince both love money. JBL: “Put Big Gulp on a leash.” Even in this market, he can guarantee and things are looking up. Vince owns wrestling and JBL is a wrestling god. They even go to the same barber!

He would love to be John Bradshaw McMahon but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt this time. Coach: “What are you doing out here?” Jeff: “I’m not really sure.” Jeff thinks “things are looking up” might mean him diving off the ladder, but he certainly hopes he isn’t the son. JBL yells about Hardy and Khali’s hair, but here is Mr. Johnson, the son’s mother’s lawyer.

Vince goes into a rant about how much he hates attorneys before being told his son will be revealed at some point tonight. For now, the only thing Johnson will reveal is that Vince’s son is NOT Jeff Hardy. Jeff: “PRAISE THE LORD YEAH!” That celebration earns Jeff a singles match with Great Khali later tonight.

We see some photos of the South African tour, including Paul London and Brian Kendrick winning the Tag Team Titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, only to lose them back three days later.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade

Brian Kendrick and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Cade headlocks him down to start so London pops up with a hurricanrana. A belly to back suplex drops London right back down and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either as London is up with a springboard missile dropkick. Murdoch tries to offer a distraction….but it lets Kendrick come in for Sliced Bread. London adds the running shooting star press for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and it was a way to bridge the feud to Sunday. I like the title switches on the tour as it gave this feud a bit of life, as otherwise it was just London and Kendrick getting another title shot. You can only get so far when there is no chance of a title switch and now they gave the thing a bit more interest.

We recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s dad two weeks ago, sending Cena over the edge with an attack on William Regal last week. As a result, Cena is barred from the building this week.

Coach tells Vince McMahon that William Regal is doing better but has a lot of recovering to do. As a result, Coach has banned John Cena from the building tonight, which Vince doesn’t like. Coach has another idea though, as he brings in the man who the fans have voted as the second most likely star to be Vince’s son: Stevie Richards! Vince cracks up laughing and sends Stevie away before asking Coach who was #1 in the audience vote. That would be HHH, which doesn’t sit well with Vince.

We look back at HHH beating up Carlito and REALLY beating up Umaga.

Carlito is ready to destroy HHH on Sunday at Unforgiven. As for tonight, Carlito is full of surprises.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito is at ringside. HHH wins an early slugout and sends him shoulder first into the post. It works so well that HHH does it again before throwing Shelton into Carlito. We take a break and come back with HHH fighting out of a chinlock but getting DDTed for two. The chinlock goes on again so HHH fights up again, only to get caught with the spinning clothesline from the top. HHH’s standing clothesline connects to put both of them down for a breather. Back up and HHH hits a spinebuster, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more like the old school Benjamin and that is a very good thing to see. It’s great to have him showing off his offense and he looked like his old self here. That being said, he was little more than cannon fodder for HHH, which isn’t a big surprise. Nice match here, as HHH continues to get back to normal.

Post match Carlito goes after HHH but gets cut off. Cue Coach to say Vince McMahon is sick of HHH being disrespectful. Therefore, Carlito vs. HHH at Unforgiven is now No DQ….for Carlito only.

A car arrives and since it isn’t John Cena’s, he can roll right in.

Here is Randy Orton, with security, for a chat. Orton knows John Cena is watching at home, maybe with his dad. If that is the case, he needs to turn the volume down because his dad’s head must be throbbing. This Sunday at Unforgiven, it is one year since Cena won the WWE Title. Orton is in Cena’s head though and he is going to use that opening to take Cena down. Cue Cena through the crowd to get his hands on Orton but security holds him back so Orton can escape.

In the back, Vince McMahon yells at Coach for not keeping Cena out. Cue security, who still can’t hold Cena back. Cena gets in Vince’s face and says, as a man, that he knows what is happening to Orton at Unforgiven. Orton is going to feel pain and vengeance in his bones for Cena’s father. That is something even Vince can understand, and with that, Cena leaves.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Mickie flips out of an early snapmare attempt but gets whipped into the corner. That means a handspring elbow connects to give Jillian two as Candice talks about facing Beth Phoenix. Jillian pulls her down hard out of the corner and seems to rub Mickie’s face into her chest. Apparently it wakes Mickie up enough to kick Jillian in the head for the pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take both of them out so Candice runs in for the failed save attempt.

Sandman vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Santino mourns the loss of Luciano Pavarotti, but at least he passed away before he had to see Steve Austin in the Condemned. Santino doesn’t understand this lack of culture but Sandman’s entrance cuts him off. Once Sandman gets rid of the kendo stick, Santino starts pounding him down and goes after the leg. A splash hits raised knees though and Sandman knocks him outside. That means a big dive (there’s a surprise) from Sandman but Marella uses the kendo stick for the DQ.

Post match Santino tries to break the stick over his own knee but hurts himself. Sandman gets the cage to chase him off.

Post break Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about Santino being so different lately. She thinks they might need to split up but here is Santino to jump Simmons. Santino even does Simmons’ catchphrase, which should signal his doom.

The Diva Search is coming back. Great. We get the first look at the finalists, including Eve Torres, Taryn Terrell and Lena Yada.

Unforgiven rundown.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Khali throws him into the corner to start for the elbow to the face. The Whisper in the Wind is knocked away and Khali hits a big boot. The Vice Grip finishes Hardy in a hurry. Your Intercontinental Champion everyone.

Post match here is Batista to spear Khali down without much effort.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for the big reveal, with the male roster surrounding the ring as well. HHH comes out last and Vince isn’t exactly pleased. Vince knows that one of these men is his son and wants to know who gets to be a McMahon. He wants to know who it is right now but here is Mr. Johnson on the Titantron. In accordance with his client’s wishes, he is going to eliminate some of the possible names.

First up, the son is not extreme, meaning ECW is out. Vince: “Thank God it’s not Balls Mahoney.” The son also has a fondness for gold, meaning he is a current or former champion. Next up is that the son’s skin is fair, which Vince (rather rapidly) points out means he is Caucasian. Vince has everyone left get in the ring, as he is told that the son’s hair is fair as well.

That leaves us with Sandman, JBL, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch and HHH, though the fans want Kennedy (not here). Vince shoots that down before giving us the next clue: “Individual.” That takes Vince some time to figure out but it means he isn’t a tag wrestler. The final clue: the son loves to play the game.

That seems to leave HHH, who isn’t happy either. Vince says this isn’t right, with Johnson agreeing. The son loves to play games, such as hide and seek or marbles….because it’s HORNSWOGGLE! HHH nearly falls over in laughter as Hornswoggle pops out, grabs Vince’s leg, and puts his hat on Vince’s head to end the show.

So there’s your big reveal. After several weeks, we get Hornswoggle as the big gag blowoff, which was disappointing back in the day and it’s disappointing now. This time it isn’t WWE’s fault as the Kennedy suspension blew up what could have been a career making story, but ultimately there is only so much that can be done when the key player is gone. Hornswoggle was a bit funny and there is some good comedy potential, but it feels like it could have been so much more.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ALL about the big angle at the end, with the wrestling being a complete afterthought. That made for a weird show, as Unforgiven took a backseat as well, leaving the pay per view without much of a final push and the big story with a pretty lame resolution. Again, it isn’t WWE’s fault this time, but it is still pretty disappointing.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 13, 2007: Vince McMahon Has A List

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to go back to the company’s home and it always feels special to be in Madison Square Garden. We are less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the John Cena vs. Randy Orton showdown, but we need something to get us through a few more shows. We’ll start with a bizarre pairing of Cena/Umaga vs. Orton/Carlito, which should make for an interesting main event. Oh and Vince McMahon might have another kid. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon returning last week on a pretty bad night before being told that he has a paternity suit being filed against him over another McMahon child. I still remember that airing live and being intrigued.

Opening sequence.

Wrestlers from all three rosters are around the ring as Vince McMahon comes out. Vince says he has had a few dalliances over the years but he doesn’t even remember this woman. To make it worse, the woman is withholding the name of the illegitimate child, which makes this pure extortion from a woman who should have been on the pill.

We see a WHO’S YOUR BABY sign in the crowd and you know the fans are chanting that. Vince knows his family supports him and he hopes the fans will support him, because this could happen to any red blooded American male. He has been in the public spotlight for thirty years and nothing bothers him…but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

She wanted to do this in private but that can’t happen now. Stephanie claims that Vince abandoned his family, but Vince thinks she just wants her piece of the pie. She didn’t want to do this in public but she will anyway. Earlier today, she talked to the mother and has found something out: the child is a WWE star, and they’re here at ringside. Vince looks around the ring and suddenly looks rather nauseous. As Vince leaves, he has a staredown with Mr. Kennedy, which the fans seem to like. He also looks at Mark Henry, who kind of shakes his head. There’s your big angle and yeah, this is intriguing.

Bobby Lashley had shoulder surgery this week and blames Mr. Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Sandman

I’m not sure why they went to the back instead of just staying in the ring but WWE can do some weird things at times. Kennedy works on the arm to start but Sandman swings away with left hands. It’s time to go up top but Kennedy crotches him, setting up a super snapmare. The Regal Roll gives Kennedy the fast pin.

Vince McMahon is ranting about having a wrestler for a kid to Coach, who has a plan: they can go through the entire roster and figure this out. First up, Coach needs to know when Vince became sexually active. Vince: “Well I was ALMOST a teenager.” Coach says this could be anyone on the roster, so here is Ric Flair to say WOO as Vince appears to have a headache.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Shawn Michaels.

William Regal is dressed as Simon Cowell for WWE Idol. First up, JBL and Michael Cole are here, in costume, to sing a Hall and Oates song. JBL isn’t impressed and yells, but Maria and Ron Simmons pop up for a distraction. Their date is next week, so here is Santino Marella to complain. He has a plan though: sing a song so romantic that Maria will come back to him. They leave, so Simmons gets to hear JBL and Cole sing Rich Girl. Cole asks Simmons about his favorite 80s band. Simmons: “WHAM!”

Here is Cryme Tyme and they have a special deal for us tonight: Lilian Garcia’s chair! Cryme Tyme even autographs it and get….$1000! That’s not too bad, and they get a match too.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title and joined in progress with Shad in the wrong corner and getting chopped rather loudly. Some knees to the ribs set up a chinlock until Shad powers up to drive Murdoch into the corner. The hot tag brings in JTG to clean house, with a legdrop getting two. Everything breaks down and there’s a high/low to JTG…but Shad BLASTS Murdoch in the back with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They barely had enough time to make this go very far but at least they did something to make Cryme Tyme look good. The stealing/selling stuff is an idea and it fits their characters rather well. Odds are we are going to get a title match out of this sooner than later and that should make for a good pay per view showdown.

More Randy Orton, this time taking out Rob Van Dam.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Snitsky vs. Robbie

Pumphandle slam finishes Robbie in about 20 seconds.

Post match Snitsky beats up Rory as well.

Vince McMahon talks to Coach about how he challenged himself to do it in every state, including in a corn field in Nebraska and on an iceberg in Alaska. Coach says they could do a DNA test of all the wrestlers but that would take a few weeks. Instead, they could go over his dalliances and cross reference them to know more by this weekend’s Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cody Rhodes pops up to say he knows who his father is and gives Vince a condom, just in case. Vince tells Coach to remind him to sue Trojan’s magnum division…and here’s Boogeyman to sing Cat’s In The Cradle, which is about spending time with your father. Coach: “He does appear to have your eyes.”

And now, WWE Idol. We have a panel of judges, including William Regal, Maria (who judges host Todd Grisham because she thinks he’s a contestant) and Mick Foley (“I will do almost anything for money”). The first contestant is Jillian Hall (who has Mick’s attention), who sings her own version of Memories from Cats. Mick is glad he lost part of his ear, Maria says her singing was……well she looks really pretty! Regal: “Perhaps I should change tonight’s main event to Roe vs. Wade because that was an abortion.”

Next up is Nikolai Volkoff/the Iron Sheik (with Howard Finkel), singing the Russian National Anthem. Granted Sheik doesn’t actually sing but Maria stands up. Regal: “It’s a shame that Sheik didn’t lose his voice in this building like he lost the WWE Title!” Sheik yells about Regal joining Vince McMahon’s special club and Regal is AGHAST. He ejects Regal so here is Lilian Garcia to sing New York, New York.

Santino Marella interrupts, saying New York is missing a prostitute. He sings That’s Amore, which Foley says was almost as painful as watching Marella wrestle. Santino tells Maria that they’ve leaving but she isn’t done judging. Cue Ron Simmons to beat Santino up, which is enough music to Regal’s ears to name him the winner. This was WAY funnier than the Dating Game and Regal’s lines were amazing.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Charlie Haas

Shelton Benjamin is at ringside. Cody grabs a rollup for an early two but Haas snapmares him over for a kick to the back. The neck crank goes on before Haas starts going after the arm. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Haas goes with an overhead belly to belly for two instead. Another chinlock is broken up and Rhodes grabs a hot shot. Rhodes hammers away and hits a dropkick (JR: “Cody learned that from his mother!”), setting up a high crossbody for two. With that not working, Cody grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is the way to build Rhodes up as he needs to prove that he can get a few wins. Haas isn’t hurt by a loss, especially in a singles match, and Rhodes gets a boost. It’s such an easy and logical way to go but for some reason it seems lost on so many promotions. In other words, follow the Cody model.

It is time for King Booker’s official coronation, with Jerry Lawler having to crown him after losing to Booker last week. Booker orders Lawler to put the crown on, dropping the accent as Lawler takes too long. Lawler doesn’t like being told that Booker is the only true king, so there will be no crowning. As a bonus, he has been talking to the bosses, and Booker will be having a match at Summerslam, against this man. We see a HHH video and Booker is not happy. The fight is on and Booker CLOCKS Lawler with a TV monitor.

Post break, Lawler is being tended to by medics and Todd Grisham takes his place.

Summerslam rundown.

Randy Orton took out Sgt. Slaughter too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat before the main event. John Cena is having the longest WWE Title reign in nearly twenty years, but Orton ends careers. He is taking the title, but he is also going to end Cena’s career for good.

Randy Orton/Carlito vs. John Cena/Umaga

It feels like they hit the Random button to set this up. Orton and Umaga start, which is kind of a weird pairing. Umaga hammers him down in the corner but misses a charge so Carlito can come in. Everything breaks down for a bit and the villains are cleared out so we can take an early break. We come back with Cena pounding on Carlito until he charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Carlito sends him outside to keep up the beating and it’s back to Orton for the dropkick. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two and we’re off to the chinlock. Cena finally powers out of trouble but Orton isn’t about to leg Umaga back in. The knee drop misses though and it’s right back to Carlito, who actually wins a slugout. Orton grabs a chinlock of his own but Cena is right back up again. A backdrop sends Carlito flying and it’s Umaga coming in to clean house. The running hip attack hits Orton and Carlito’s Backstabber completely fails. Instead, Cena comes in for the FU to finish Carlito off.

Rating: C. This was a way to sit around waiting until we got to the big tag to Umaga. There was something to be said about watching Umaga clean house, as he is the kind of screaming wrecking ball monster that you don’t get to see too often. I don’t know if it is going to last long, but at least it worked well for one night.

Vince McMahon kind of liked going over all of his indiscretions with Coach, including one time with two flight attendants on a flight to Detroit. Then Linda McMahon comes in and tells Vince he no longer has a home to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The push towards Summerslam continues and you can see a lot of the card, but there are still some holes that need to be filled. I’m sure we’ll get some of those things covered next week, though it would have been nice to do some of them a little bit earlier. That being said, the McMahon stuff is enough to make up for some of the problems, as a big Vince story can be one of the best things WWE does. Another not great show, but Summerslam delivering could make up for a lot of these problems.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – August 6, 2007: Earl Grey, The Dating Game And A Summons

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 6, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have less than a month to go before Summerslam and that means we need to keep going towards John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Other than that, we might be seeing more of King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler, which actually didn’t wrap up after one week. Maybe we get something else set up this week, which might be a good idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon returned earlier today and wants the roster out in the arena. As a citizen of the United States, he will be exercising his freedom of expression tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here is the entire locker room, so Vince McMahon joins them. Vince says the last time he was on Raw, he was blown to smithereens. We see a clip of said blowing and said smithereens, which is how Vince wanted to go out. Why though? Well that’s because Vince wanted to stage his own demise so he could see how people felt about him. Vince is going to talk about some things he doesn’t like, such as the United States Congress and some members of his family. We’ll get to that later, because right now, we’re going to have a battle royal, with the winner becoming the new General Manager (Coach does NOT approve).

Battle Royal

Trevor Murdoch, Umaga, Beth Phoenix, Maria, Candice Michelle, Melina, Mickie James, Rory, Robbie, Jim Duggan, Sandman, William Regal, Mr. Kennedy, Super Crazy, Lance Cade, Val Venis, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, Shad Gaspard, JTG, King Booker, Daivari

That’s either everyone or almost everyone. Umaga scares off Phoenix, Maria, Michelle, Melina and James before throwing Murdoch out as well. Crazy, London, Robbie and JTG are all put out by Umaga in a hurry and Booker joins then due to excessive yelling at Jerry Lawler. Umaga tosses Gaspard as the ring is a lot more clear. We take a break and come back with Haas having been eliminated during the break and Rory joining him after the commercial.

Venis dumps Cade but gets knocked out by Umaga, who goes after Kendrick…and they eliminate each other in a weirdly sudden ending for the guy who had dominated so far. Kennedy is tossed as well as Umaga Samoa Spikes Haas on the ramp. We’re down to Sandman, Rhodes, Duggan, Benjamin, Carlito and Regal, the latter of whom is on the floor without being eliminated (uh oh).

Carlito and Benjamin get rid of Duggan and it’s time for the final four (or so) to pair off. Rhodes skins the cat to save himself but Carlito tosses him anyway. Sandman goes up for no logical reason, allowing Benjamin to run the corner and superplex him back down. Benjamin and Carlito go to the apron for a fight so Sandman knocks them out, only to have Regal come in from behind and toss Sandman for the win and the job.

Rating: C-. The best thing I can say about this is that it went by fast, but at the same time it had the most annoying battle royal ending imaginable. That being said, I can go with more Regal on TV every single week because he really is someone who could be used in a bigger way. Not much of a match, but a good result.

Post match Regal, who has one boot off, does some Hindu squats, because the ankle injury he claimed earlier in the match was A RUSE!

In the back, Coach is unhappy with Regal winning the match but Vince McMahon goes on a rant about the letters he has received from two different Congressional committees. He talks about President Benjamin Franklin before telling Coach that he is Regal’s assistant. Now get the Earl Grey ready.

Video on HHH, who is returning at Summerslam.

King Booker doesn’t like HHH calling himself a king because he is just a pretender. Jerry Lawler is a pretender as well, which Booker will prove when he beats Lawler tonight. That is why Booker has set up a ceremony next week at Madison Square Garden, where the loser has to crown the winner.

Snitsky vs. Rory

Pumphandle slam finishes Rory in less than thirty seconds.

Coach brings Vince McMahon a phone call from his counselor. Apparently the IRS is investigating Vince too, so the media will have a field day. Vince says the media and wrestling are both in the entertainment business. He storms off….and IRS is reading a newspaper.

Jillian Hall comes to the ring for her match and offers Lilian Garcia a chance to hear with her…but no one wants to hear Lilian sing. Jillian starts singing Hit Me Baby One More Time but gets cut off.

Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James

Mickie gets taken down for a double arm crank to start but flips her way to freedom in a hurry. A neckbreaker gives Mickie two but Jillian catches her on top. What would become the Skull Crushing Finale finishes James in a hurry.

Coach meets with William Regal….who wants him to set up the WWE version of the Dating Game. Oh and get him some tea.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. Things went so well on the debut episode that he thought he would have the same guest this week. Cue John Cena, who looks rather serious as he gets in Carlito’s face. Carlito gets shoved into the chair and Cena is going to be hosting this himself. Cena interviews himself, saying that he isn’t happy with an apple being spat in his face last week.

We see a clip, with Cena asking himself about the other guy at ringside last week. That would be Randy Orton, so Cena says the Champ Is Here and still will be at Summerslam. Other than that, Cena has three reasons why he shouldn’t trash the show and beat up Carlito. After two jokes about Carlito’s sexual practices, the fight is on but here is Orton for a distraction. That doesn’t work so here is William Regal to say that Randy Orton and Carlito are going to get to pick Cena’s opponent tonight.

Post break, Carlito and Orton pick Umaga to face Cena tonight. The two of them leave and Vince McMahon thinks his wife and kids wanted him gone. That means he needs to get them back together and nothing can stop him.

Jerry Lawler vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker and the loser has to crown the winner next week. Booker powers him into the corner to start but Lawler punches him out to the floor in a hurry. Back in and more right hands put Booker in more trouble but he knocks Lawler down for two. A kick to Lawler’s face sets up some stomping and we hit the overhand wristlock. Booker kicks him down again and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up again and Lawler punches him out to the floor, where he punches even more. Lawler stops to glare at Sharmell though, allowing Booker to hit the ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was closer to what I was expecting last week, but Lawler had almost no fire throughout the entire thing. Booker winning was the only way to go with the big HHH match seemingly on the horizon. The ending just kind of came and went too, making this quite the weak match.

We look at Mr. Kennedy injuring Bobby Lashley last week.

JR tells us that Lashley needs shoulder surgery and will be out of action.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. Kennedy asks what Bobby Lashley is hearing right now. It is something everyone will be hearing from now on: KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY1 KENNEDY! And we go to a break.

And now (oh boy) it’s the Dating Game. We have three eligible bachelors, Jim Duggan (who hides his wedding ring and has a massive piece of wood), Ron Simmons and Santino Marella, and a contestant, Maria. She gets to ask a bunch of questions, including why how Duggan does with managers. Duggan: “I won’t call you a HOOOOO!” Ron Simmons would make her SPAM in bed. Santino says it’s him, but Maria thinks it’s a bad impression.

Simmons is asked which war he would go back and end. Simmons: “NAM!” Santino accuses the other two of not liking babies and puppies, so Duggan tells him to go back to Italy and leave the good old USA, USA, USA! A fight nearly breaks out so Regal tells Maria to make her pick already. She picks Simmons, sending Santino into a panic. Simmons tells him to SCRAM but Santino wants Maria to leave with him. Cue Umaga to chase everyone off. This had a few funny lines (read as, anytime Simmons talked) and I could go for more Regal shenanigans, but it ran longer than it needed to.

Coach accepts a summons for Vince McMahon and upon seeing what it is, knows that he has to go find Vince.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Non-title. Cena hammers away to start but gets sent into the corner for a hard chop. A headbutt drops Cena again and Umaga hits an even harder shoulder. Cena pops back up with the Throwback but you don’t do that to a Samoan’s head, as Umaga nails a quick spinwheel kick. We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a nerve hold. Cena can’t get the FU, but he can manage to knock Umaga down and grab the STFU. Cue Carlito and Randy Orton for the DQ.

Rating: C. These two could have a good match in their sleep and this was probably the main part of many a house show main events. That being said, this was all about jumping Cena in the end so they didn’t quite get out of second gear. Nothing to see here, but Cena moving Umaga around is always pretty cool.

Post match, Carlito and Orton tell Umaga to go after Cena….but he lays both of them out instead. Cue Regal, to make Cena/Oomanga vs. Carlito/Orton for next week.

Vince McMahon is in the back and talks to some of the roster. He goes outside like he did on the night of the exploding limo (wrestling is weird) and walks to his white limousine, goes to close the door….and gets cut off by Coach. The papers from earlier say that Vince is being served in a paternity suit. There is another McMahon out there somewhere. Vince shakes his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was mainly focused on two stories. The battle royal gave us a good result but the Cena vs. the world stuff was only so good. Summerslam didn’t get much attention this week but it seems that they are going to be focusing on Cena vs. Orton and not much else. They still have time to get somewhere with it though and it should all work out when some more stuff is added.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 23, 2007 (2021 Redo): Obvious Challenger Is Obvious

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2007
Location: Arco Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Great American Bash and it wasn’t exactly the most impactful show. John Cena is still the WWE Champion, having retained over Bobby Lashley in a very good match that didn’t quite make it all the way to the next level. Now it is time to get ready for Summerslam and I think you can figure out the main event from here. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

Jonathan Coachman is in his office and announces that we will be seeing a new #1 contender crowned by the end of the night. Speaking of champions, the main event will be an All Champions match, as John Cena and Candice Michelle face Umaga/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch. That doesn’t sound fair.

Opening sequence.

We open with a throne and table set up in the ring so here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell. Booker asks Jerome Lawler to get in the ring, where he sits down to a doughnut with a bite taken out of it. Lawler’s mic doesn’t work so Booker mocks the Sacramento Kings for being royalty without winning anything. He has spoken to NBA Commissioner David Stern to rename the team the Sacramento Peasants! Should the players be kings? But more importantly, should HHH be king?

Lawler tries to talk but gets cut off by ALL HAIL KING BOOKER! Lawler says a king is only as good as a kingdom and these people don’t seem to think much of him. Booker: “SILENCE!” Booker is ready to fight so Lawler punches him down and throws the bowl of fruit at him for a bonus. Points for not doing this match in one night as they’re actually setting it up to become something important.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Santino Marella is on commentary as Beth and Mickie get things going. Beth powers her into the corner to start and it’s off to Melina, who gets hit in the face a few times. Maria comes in and gets taken down into a fast hammerlock. That doesn’t last long either as she forearms her way to freedom and brings Mickie back in to clean house. Mickie’s monkey flip sets up Maria’s high crossbody for two with Phoenix making a save. Santino gets up and trips the villains down, leaving Maria to bulldog Melina for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was more about Maria and Santino getting closer than anything else, which is not the most thrilling story but it’s better than nothing. I can go for a women’s match that has nothing to do with the title for a change and it is nice to see a group of women who can wrestle a nice enough match. Not great, but it did its job well enough.

Post match Santino celebrates with the winners.

Video on John Cena retaining over Bobby Lashley last night.

Gerald Brisco tells Cody Rhodes to be aggressive with Randy Orton tonight. Cue Orton, who says Dusty Rhodes didn’t teach Cody very well. Cody doesn’t like that and says Dusty wasn’t afraid of Orton, who says Cody should be afraid. He’ll let Cody back out tonight but Cody will see him out there.

Snitsky likes to hurt people and doesn’t feel any remorse.

John Cena talks to Todd Grisham about tonight’s main event by telling him to picture Candice Michelle. Cena lists off some impressive things about him and how Michelle would suggest they can, ahem, wrestle together. Then they’re interrupted by a 400lb Samoan and the cast of Brokeback Mountain. Cena: “That’s where I’m living right now.” Grisham: “Why would you do that to me?” On top of that, Cena isn’t worried about who he is defending the title against because he is ready for anyone.

Sandman/Jim Duggan vs. Carlito/William Regal

This feels like a tag match pulled out of a fish bowl and I kind of love it. Regal takes Sandman into the corner to start the beating and hands it off to Carlito for more of the same. That doesn’t last long as Sandman gets over to Duggan to pound on Carlito’s head. Regal offers a distraction though and it’s a quick Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Post break Carlito and William Regal brag about their win. Carlito can’t find a trashcan to spit the apple in so he spits it out….and right onto Bobby Lashley. Who I guess he just couldn’t see. Anyway, Carlito runs into the arena and says that wasn’t his fault. Cue Lashley for some violence and destruction.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Orton headlocks him down but Cody is back up with a dropkick and a slap. A crossbody gives Cody two so Orton kicks him into the corner, only to get sunset flipped for two. That’s a bit too much for Orton, who grabs the backbreaker to take over. Cody fights back again but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. A rollup gives Cody two so Orton clotheslines him hard for daring to try something. Back up and Cody misses something off the top, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad for the story they were telling, as Orton knew he wasn’t in danger and toyed with Cody before finishing him off. That’s how this should have gone, as it would have been ridiculous for a rookie to give Orton a serious threat. This should wrap up Orton vs. the Rhodes Family and now he can move on to something bigger.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt so Dusty Rhodes comes out for the save. Orton teases leaving and then Punts Dusty instead, drawing out the annoyed referees.

Post break, Dusty goes out on a stretcher.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, Kennedy promises to become #1 contender. They lock up to start with Hardy driving him into the corner without much trouble. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Kennedy in early trouble and he misses a dropkick to make it worse. The legdrop between the legs connects and it’s time to trade hammerlocks. Kennedy is sent outside with Hardy hitting a big dive as we take a break. Back with Kennedy hitting an Alabama Slam for two as Hardy seems rocked.

The neckbreaker gives Kennedy two and we hit a cravate to stay on the neck. Jeff fights up and tries the Whisper in the Wind but slips and falls backwards onto his head in a scary landing. Not that it matters as Hardy fights back up and slugs away, setting up the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Swanton is loaded up so Kennedy rolls outside, allowing Hardy to hit the running clothesline off the barricade. Hardy sends him up to the stage and then sprints back to the ring for the win. It works in Wrestlemania 2000 and No Mercy so it works here too.

Rating: C. This was a good way to get Hardy back on track after his pretty awesome fight against Umaga last night. That’s exactly what he needs to bring him back up a bit, as he could be in for a pretty solid push in the near future. Kennedy doesn’t take a fall either, making this a rather nice way to present both of them.

Commentary gets serious when talking about Randy Orton attacking Dusty Rhodes.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam, complete with the Six Million Dollar Man theme.

Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Haas takes London into the corner to start and it’s off to Benjamin for a chinlock. That’s broken up so it’s off to Kendrick, who gets kicked in the head. Now it’s Haas grabbing a chinlock of his own, which is broken up just as fast. London comes back in as everything breaks down but Kendrick misses a dive to the floor. That leaves Benjamin to jump onto London’s back, setting up a German suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. Believe it or not, two very talented tag teams were able to deliver a good tag match. I could have gone for a good bit more of this as the technical abilities vs. the high flying should have made for a heck of a match. Instead, we got a fun but rushed match as Haas and Benjamin get reheated.

We look at Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes again.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell again. Sharmell talks about how Jerry Lawler took things too far earlier and wouldn’t take Booker’s offer. The challenge is on for next week and Booker promises to end the reign of blasphemy.

Candice Michelle cries to Coach about the main event but Coach doesn’t care.

John Cena/Candice Michelle vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Umaga

Non-title and No DQ. Cena goes after the three of them to start until Umaga takes him down and hammers away. Murdoch takes Cena down from behind and hammers away with crossfaces. Umaga powers Cena into the corner but Candice gets chased into the ring. Cade and Murdoch hold her for the running hip attack but here is Jeff Hardy with a chair (including some scary shots to Umaga’s head) so Candice can escape. Cade is sent outside and Murdoch walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much more than a way to have Cena out there so we could find out the #1 contender. That being said, it’s also pretty lame to have him go over the three champions, even with Hardy helping. Nothing to the match of course, though Candice did at least look terrified.

Post match Cena celebrates and walks into the RKO as Randy Orton is the next challenger.

Overall Rating: C-. Kind of a weird show as they were so focused on the World Title challenger that nothing else felt important. The Booker vs. Lawler stuff should be good, though that is only going to get you so far. It didn’t help that Orton was the only logical choice for a challenger, leaving really only Lashley as a (distant) secondary option. Not the worst show, but it was a long time to get to a fairly obvious ending.

 

 

 

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Great American Bash 2007 (2021 Redo): The Vibe Man, The Vibe

Great American Bash 2007
Date: July 22, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,034
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a bit of a weird show as we have the big fight between John Cena and Bobby Lashley for the Raw World Title, but the Smackdown World Title is a little screwy. Edge was forced to vacate the title due to an injury, with Great Khali becoming the new champion via a battle royal. Therefore, it’s Khali defending against Kane and Batista in the big hoss fight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the fireworks will begin before running down the big matches.

US Title: MVP vs. Matt Hardy

MVP is defending and gets driven into the corner for a clean break to start. Hardy already has him bailing out to the floor before it’s time to fight over wrist control back inside. MVP’s wristlock is countered with a roll to the floor, meaning Hardy can score with an over the top dive. Back in and MVP knocks him down again though, setting up a crossarm choke. Hardy fights up again and hits a suplex for two, with MVP bailing to the floor again.

They head back inside, where Matt gets pulled off the ropes for a nasty crash. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy again but he hits a desperation knockdown. Hardy gets caught on top though and a superplex gives MVP a delayed near fall. A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody (or bulldog according to Cole) and Hardy starts slugging away.

Now a middle rope elbow to the back of a standing MVP (again, a bulldog according to Cole, which is close enough this time) gets two and the Side Effect gets the same, with the fans WAY into this. Another Side Effect is countered into a cradle to give MVP two of his own but he misses the running boot in the corner. The Twist of Fate is countered as well though and now the running boot drops Hardy. The Playmaker retains MVP’s title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but then they were rolling by the end. I’m a bit surprised by the ending as Hardy had been on a roll and they were hyping up his first major singles title win, but maybe they’re saving it for later. Still though, good choice for an opener here and the fans were way into Hardy’s near falls.

Dusty Rhodes is ready for Randy Orton and doesn’t know why everyone is so somber around here. He isn’t laying down for Orton because he isn’t done around here, so it’s time for Orton’s back to crack and liver to quiver. Respect is promised, which sends Dusty into a story about a bull looking down the hill at some cows. Then the bull said moo. As much as I want to mock this for being insane….it’s Dusty.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Funaki, Jamie Noble,

Chavo Guerrero is defending in a bonus match and it’s one fall to a finish. Hold on though as here is Hornswoggle to dive across the ring and then hide underneath. Chavo gets jumped to start and sent outside, leaving everyone else to go after each other. Yang and Noble are left alone in the ring until Chavo is back in to rock Yang with a belly to back suplex. Noble powerslams Yang for two but gets sent outside, heaving Chavo to half crab Yang.

Funaki breaks that up with an enziguri as everyone is back in to keep up the brawling. Noble counters Funaki’s tornado DDT into an armbar but Chavo breaks it up again. The Gory Bomb hits Funaki and there are Two Amigos to Yang, with Noble making a save. A big dive takes out Funaki so Moore hits Yang in the head. Yang goes up but gets taken down with the Tower of Doom. With Noble down, Hornswoggle comes back in with a Tadpole Splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Normally I would get annoyed at a comedy act winning the title, but the thing has been so worthless for such a long time now that this is almost an upgrade. WWE does not care about the title so just let them move along to something else. The action was rather fast paced as it should be in this case, but the ending is all that matters here. Somehow it might be an upgrade, which should tell you everything you need to know about the cruiserweight division at the moment.

Hornswoggle goes back underneath the ring and then runs up the ramp to escape the angry mob.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s rise to the top of the company.

Sandman vs. Carlito

Singapore cane on a pole. Carlito spits at Sandman to get the chase going before the match, because ticking off Sandman is a good idea. After a lockup, they both go after the cane because that’s kind of the point. A hammerlock of all things has Carlito down so Sandman goes for the cane but has to backdrop Carlito outside.

Back in and Carlito hammers away a bit, setting up a dropkick to put Sandman down for a change. It’s too early for Carlito to get the cane so he tries again, with Sandman pulling him down this time. Carlito’s springboard back elbow is blocked so Sandman gets the cane, only to get caught in the Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: D. So not only did they have a bad match, but then the whole point of the thing wound up being a big waste of time. This was one of the weaker things on a WWE pay per view in a long time now and it isn’t even like it was there to let fans come down from something else. Bad stuff here, and not the best sign for Sandman’s future.

Randy Orton isn’t happy that he has to face Dusty Rhodes, who is going to get hurt like Shawn Michaels.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and gets taken down by an armbar to start. That’s broken up so Michelle goes with a headlock takeover, setting up a bridge into a backslide to give Melina two. A running Blockbuster drops Melina as they’re going with more wrestling this time. Melina catches her in the corner with the middle rope knees to the ribs, setting up the screaming. JR: “Melina with the guttural passion!” Lawler: “WHAT???”

The double arm crank doesn’t last long for Melina as Candice fights up to start the comeback. A high crossbody gets two but Melina grabs a neckbreaker (into the splits) for the same. Candice is right back with a jawbreaker into a standing bulldog (the Candy Wrapper) to retain.

Rating: C. It wasn’t the best match, but Candice is getting better and better in the ring every week. You can see the change in quality over the last few months and that is a great thing to see. The matches still aren’t great, but I can always go for people trying to get better and actually making it happen.

Wrestlemania is in Orlando.

Matt Hardy gives Jeff Hardy a pep talk before his Intercontinental Title match. Then Candice Michelle shows up and pours water over herself as special music plays. The Hardys are impressed, setting up the Ron Simmons cameo.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and wastes no time in knocking Hardy outside. Hardy gets sent into the apron but comes back with the jawbreaker inside. Not that it matters as Umaga plants him with a Samoan drop, setting up a rather large legdrop. Some hard whips into the corner bang up Hardy’s back so we hit the logical nerve hold. Hardy fights up but gets pulled down by the head, meaning the hold can go on again.

Another escape goes a bit faster so Umaga takes him down again, setting up some springboard seated sentons to the chest. The swinging Rock Bottom gets two and dang the crowd reacts to the kickout. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt though and Hardy knocks him outside. There’s the first dive, setting up the basement dropkick for two back inside. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton gets a delayed two but Umaga superkicks him into the corner. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was right in Hardy’s wheelhouse: fighting a match where he gets beaten into oblivion for a long time and then comes back to nearly win in the end. There are very few people who can make the fans believe in him like Hardy can and it was on full display here. Heck of a performance and I could see this one getting a rematch.

Video on John Cena’s rise to the top of WWE to become WWE Champion.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending after switching from Johnny Nitro to Morrison earlier this week. They go to the mat to start with Punk working on a hammerlock. That’s switched into a headlock to keep Morrison in trouble before Punk hits a slingshot suplex for two. A monkey flip sends Morrison onto his face and then out to the floor for a breather. Punk follows, only to be dropped face first onto the steps.

Back in and Punk is fine enough to try the GTS but Morrison slips out and kicks him in the face. A belly to back faceplant gives Morrison two and it’s time to stomp away. Punk is back with his own strikes though, including a discus lariat into a flapjack for two. An exchange of rollups get two each before Punk opts to kick him in the head instead. The corner knee looks to set up the bulldog but Morrison bails to the floor. Punk throws him back in and loads up the springboard clothesline but gets kneed/kicked out of the air to retain Morrison’s title.

Rating: C. This was a quick one and the ending was rather sudden. It wouldn’t surprise me if this was clipped a bit as they seemed to be getting started when they wrapped up. Punk losing another match to Morrison is a little weird, but they’re making Morrison seem like a bigger deal as champion. The problem is he doesn’t have many serious challengers so odds are we’ll be seeing a rematch between these two soon.

We recap Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Orton in a Texas Bullrope match. Orton doesn’t like Dusty’s son Cody and slapped both of them. Throw in Dusty being a legend and the violence is out of Orton’s hands. The classic clips and promos here are good enough to make this worth a look.

Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes

Texas Bullrope match, but with pin/submission rules. Orton stalls before being tied to the rope (as expected) and then does it again for a bonus. The third attempt finally works and it’s Orton missing an early swing. Instead, Dusty crotches Orton with the rope and then uses it to pull him hard into the post. Orton’s attempt to get out is cut off with another hard pull on the rope but he comes back with some bell shots to the knee.

We hit the chinlock, with the rope being wrapped around Dusty’s face to make it worse. Dusty starts reaching out to the fans to power him up though and Orton gets driven into the corner. That doesn’t seem to matter as Orton pounds away, only to get elbowed in the head. The big elbow misses though and Orton hits him in the head with the bell for the win.

Rating: C-. This was as good as it was going to get, as Dusty was retired from wrestling at this level and there was no way he was going to beat the biggest heel on Raw. It was nice to see Dusty get that one last entrance for his signature match and he even got to do some of his stuff, making this more of a tribute than anything else. This would be Dusty’s last match, at least on any kind of a big stage.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Cody Rhodes runs in for the save.

We recap the triple threat for the Smackdown World Title. Great Khali won the vacant title on Smackdown (as Edge was injured, again) and then interrupted a #1 contenders match between Kane and Batista setting up the triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali is defending and holds the title upside down again. Batista and Khali get knocked down at the same time to start and some individual clotheslines do it again. Something like a spinwheel kick drops Batista again and we’re already in the nerve hold. Kane makes the save so Khali nerve holds him instead. Batista’s save earns him a chokeslam, followed by a second to Kane.

They head outside with some double teaming working a bit better, including a posting to rock Khali. A double chokeslam/spinebuster puts Khali through the announcers’ table and it’s down to the two normal sized monsters. Back in and Batista hits a powerslam for two but Kane drops him again. Khali comes back in and gets chokeslammed (work with me here) but Batista clotheslines Kane to the floor. With Khali on the floor, the Batista Bomb plants Kane, with Khali making a fast(ish) save. Batista is sent into the steps and it’s the chokebomb to Kane to retain the title.

Rating: C. Another match where they were smart to keep it short, but what mattered here was managing to have Khali outside or at least limited for most of the time. Kane and Batista did their power match stuff and Khali came in when he needed to, making this about as good as it could have been. Khali isn’t very good, but there are ways to hide that to a certain extent.

Khali manages to hold the title the right way up!

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell for a chat. Booker isn’t pleased with this HHH nonsense because he is the one king around here. That brings him to Jerome Lawler, who Booker wants in the ring to surrender his crown. Lawler tells him to come take it, which Booker calls an act of treason. I guess we’ll deal with that later though.

We recap John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley for the Raw World Title. Various stars and legends give their picks because this is presented as a dream match. Cena has been champion for a long time but Lashley is the young up and comer who seems ready to win the title. Showdown abounds.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

Cena is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. They go with the big power lockup to start and Cena is driven into the corner for a rare visual. The test of strength has Cena down but he fights back up as they’re channeling a bit of Warrior vs. Hogan here. Lashley wrestles him down a few times so Cena tries a headlock. With that not working, the threat of the STF sends Lashley bailing to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena scores with the bulldog, setting up an elbow drop for two. The fisherman’s suplex gives Cena the same but Lashley is back with a t-bone suplex. Back up and Lashley hits a side slam for two and we hit the somewhat delayed suplex for the same. A quick Throwback gets Cena out of trouble and the top rope Fameasser rocks Lashley again. Back up and Lashley lifts him up for something like a gutbuster onto the shoulder, setting up a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs.

Commentary can’t remember Cena ever wrestling a challenger with this kind of amateur abilities as Cena fights up and hits the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle connects but Lashley grabs a powerslam for another near fall. The torture rack dropped into a backbreaker looks to set up the running powerslam but Cena slips out and hits an FU. That’s good for a very delayed two and Cena charges into an elbow in the corner.

The spear is countered into the STFU in the middle of the ring (JR is having a blast calling this) but Lashley powers over to the ropes. Lashley pops up with a spear for two so he loads Cena up top, only to get reversed into a super FU (with Cena staying on top instead of going down with him) to retain the title.

Rating: B. It was a big match and a heck of a showdown, though it didn’t quite make it to the next level. What mattered here is they felt like it was a dream match, though Cena just winning again in the end was kind of a letdown. They didn’t need to change the title here, but it never became epic. Instead, we just have a rather good match and a B level pay per view main event.

Replays and respect are shown to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B-. The show delivered and possibly even over delivered, but this did feel like a middle of the road level pay per view. There were some good (but not great) matches and that’s enough for a show like the Great American Bash. That being said, this is more about a stepping stone on the way to Summerslam for the huge show, but we got something solid enough here too.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – July 16, 2007 (2021 Redo): It Defies The Very Nature Of The Monarchy

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and that means we need to finalize some of the card. The show’s main event is set as Bobby Lashley will challenge John Cena for the Raw World Title, but there are still a few things that can be added. Maybe we can even get an interesting card together. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with HHH’s King of Kings theme, but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell coming out instead. Booker thinks you might have been expecting someone else, but suggesting that HHH is the King of Kings is blasphemy. There is one King on Raw and it is NOT HHH. Therefore, as of right now, HHH is stripped of the name king, leaving Booker alone as the King. Well save for one person, which sends Booker over to Jerry Lawler.

Booker has respected him for many, many (of) years but now he wants Lawler to drop the King name. Lawler says he’s been a fan of Booker for many years, but he has been the King for thirty years and thinks they can co-exist. That’s not cool with Booker because it DEFIES THE VERY NATURE OF MONARCHY! Booker wants Lawler to kiss his ring, but that is a flat out no. You don’t tell Booker no so he ORDERS Lawler to do it instead. Still a no, so Booker is ready to fight, only to get punched down. Referees break it up and I think we have a match for later. Lawler looked fired up here and the fans seemed into it.

Ric Flair picks John Cena over Bobby Lashley. This goes on a bit longer than it needs to.

Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella

Elimination rules and the winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot against Umaga at Great American Bash. Hardy and Benjamin go to the floor to start, leaving Santino to cross armbreaker Regal to the ropes. The other two get back in with Shelton suplexing Santino for two, allowing Regal to knee Santino in the head for the fast pin. Benjamin goes after Regal but has to catch Hardy in an electric chair.

We take a break and come back with Hardy taking a double suplex for a double two. Benjamin and Regal get into a fight because they’re kind of schnooks, including Regal suplexing him down. The villains ram heads, leaving Jeff to unload on Regal in the corner. The slingshot dropkick misses though and Regal gets to hammer away again.

A missed charge goes badly though as Hardy grabs the Twist of Fate to get us down to two. Benjamin is right back up with the Blockbuster for two of his own but Hardy sends him outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and the Swanton misses but Hardy kicks out anyway. Benjamin grabs a piledriver, which is reversed into a quick rollup to give Hardy the pin (that was kind of sudden so I wonder if something was changed on the fly there).

Rating: C. The ending was a bit odd but moving Hardy into this spot is a good idea. He and Marella were the only realistic options and I don’t think anyone is overly interested in another Marella vs. Umaga match. Hardy is the kind of guy you can get behind in a hurry and that should work out fine for Sunday.

Edge picks John Cena.

Randy Orton is ready to destroy Cody Rhodes. Look at what he did to Shawn Michaels and imagine what he can do to Cody. Then imagine what he’s going to do to Dusty Rhodes on Sunday. Orton wants Dusty there ringside so he can get a preview.

Maria tries to console Santino Marella, who talks about watching Transformers yesterday. He feels like he doesn’t belong here….but spending the night with her could help him. Maria seems game, mainly due to the offer of pancakes the next morning.

Batista picks Bobby Lashley.

Snitsky likes to hurt people.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Snitsky powers him down to start with the shoulders and clotheslines. The pumphandle slam is good for the fast pin on Venis.

Post match, Snitsky hits another pumphandle slam for good measure.

Cody Rhodes talks about how proud he is of his dad and knows he could never be a bigger star than Dusty. There is no RKO that can slow down and he’s ready for Orton.

Here is Jerry Lawler in the ring to explain the Texas Bullrope match. Lawler goes over the rules, including the things he has seen Dusty Rhodes do to people in this match before. Cue Randy Orton to cut him off though….and doesn’t actually do anything. This is something Lawler should do more often, as he can explain things well and is someone fans will listen to.

Video on Randy Orton ending some careers.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

This is Cody’s in-ring debut and Dusty Rhodes is in his corner. Cody jumps over him in the corner to start but gets blasted by a clothesline for his efforts. Orton takes too much time yelling at Dusty so Cody can start the comeback, only to miss a crossbody. There’s the powerslam into a knee drop as Orton is getting into a more serious mode. A snap suplex sets up the chinlock before Orton can hammer away again. Cody manages a shot to the face though and a missile dropkick gets two (with a big reaction from the crowd). The backbreaker cuts Cody off though and it’s the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much more than a squash, but that’s all it should have been. Cody is in his first match on Raw so what would you expect him to be able to do to someone like Orton here? Orton wasn’t even all that evil here but he never felt like he was in any serious danger. This went as it should have and it could have been a lot worse, as Cody does seem to have been well trained.

Post match, Dusty comes in to check on Cody but glares at Orton for teasing the Punt.

Steve Austin picks John Cena.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle are here too. Melina glares at Candice so Mickie rolls her up for a fast two. Back up and Mickie sends her face first into the corner but a Beth distraction lets Melina score with a kick to the ribs. A neck crank keeps Mickie in trouble but she fights up and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner has Melina rocked but Beth grabs Mickie’s leg. That’s enough for Melina to hit the standing legdrops for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was a fine way to build Melina back up to the next title match as now Candice might have to worry about Beth as well. Mickie is bulletproof in this division so having Melina beat her while cheating is hardly a horrible situation. Not exactly a must see match, but it got things ready for the Great American Bash.

Smackdown Rebound.

William Regal comes up to Jim Duggan (what a pair), who gives us some fast catchphrases. Coach has sent Regal to get the 2×4 because he wants it bronzed. Duggan says no one puts his hands on his hardware, sending them into a series of innuendos (being down on knees and wood in hand are mentioned). Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase and Regal does his disgusted face.

Mick Foley picks Bobby Lashley.

Carlito vs. Sandman

Sandman goes technical to start with a wristlock and manages to take Carlito down. Back up and Carlito slugs away, even busting Sandman open a bit. The neck crank goes on but Sandman fights up without much trouble. Cue William Regal (who Sandman took out last week) to jump Sandman for the DQ.

Post match Jim Duggan makes the save to actually pay off the earlier segment. I wouldn’t have bet on that one.

JBL picks John Cena.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Fallout from Crazy stealing a pin on Kennedy a few weeks ago in the Beat The Clock Challenge. Kennedy shoves him into the corner to start but Crazy comes out with a spinwheel kick. Crazy hammers away in the corner until a forearm cuts that off in a hurry. They slug it out again until Kennedy goes to the eyes for a breather. The abdominal stretch goes on but Crazy escapes and slugs away again, including a running clothesline. Back to back moonsaults look to set up a third, only to have Kennedy crotch him on top. A reverse superplex finishes Crazy off.

Rating: C. Another short and to the point match here to blow off the mini feud. Crazy got a nice rub out of the whole thing but ultimately there is only so far for him to go. Kennedy is likely on his way back to the main event scene so there was no reason to not give him this win. I’m not sure what is next for him, but a win over Crazy at least gives him some momentum.

Great American Bash rundown.

Here is Coach to emcee the Bobby Lashley vs. John Cena face off. Coach lists off the people Cena has beaten and asks why Cena believes he can survive. Yes, Cena, with some fake tears, feels that his title reign could end because Lashley speared him a few weeks ago. And even worse: he never learned to read! We get the Billy Madison “I award you no points” line before Cena gets serious with Lashley.

Cena has fought the best and won and lost, but Lashley will get his best. Lashley isn’t into talking and turns over his podium but Coach cuts them off. That’s too much for Lashley, who goes after Coach, only to have Cena tell him to focus on what matters. They do the big showdown but referees get Lashley to the back. Cena promises to test Lashley on Sunday so here is Lashley again, meaning the brawl is on to end the show. This was a pretty by the book segment but it worked, partially due to Cena’s energy.

Overall Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of wrestling here but they made me want to see more than one match at the pay per view. Cena vs. Lashley went from big to epic in a hurry so points for doing what they do well. I’m looking forward to the pay per view and that’s a lot more important than having a good match on Raw.

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 9, 2007: Replacement Needed

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from the Great American Bash and the big main event is set. WWE Champion John Cena will be defending the title against Bobby Lashley in a match that has to have Vince McMahon drooling. There are two shows left to build up to the show and that can be the important times on the way there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker in a rematch of last year’s King of the Ring finals (which JR mentions during the entrances). Lashley powers him around to start but charges into an elbow in the corner. Booker’s charge is countered into a powerslam though and Lashley plants him again for two. There’s another slam to put Booker down again but he’s back up with a spinning kick. Lashley isn’t having that and hits the Dominator, only to have Mr. Kennedy come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but Lashley was beating up a former World Champion and making it look pretty easy. They’re doing a great job of making Lashley feel like an unstoppable monster and that is where Cena shines most of the time. This didn’t need to go on much longer and they made their point while still protecting Booker a bit.

Post match the double teaming is on until Coach comes out to say not so fast. Tonight it was supposed to be Cena/Lashley vs. Kennedy/Booker, but since Cena is in Los Angeles (for a panel on Larry King Live), Lashley can pick another partner. Either that or have a handicap match. Lashley clears the ring to show off a bit.

Coach goes into his office to find William Regal, who he thanks for helping last week. Regal says he got some compliments for bringing something fresh to Raw, but Coach has him in a match with Sandman tonight. Regal doesn’t seem pleased but he’s in.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Umaga is defending after taking the title from Santino last week. The strikes to Umaga are as effective as you would expect and he plants Santino with the spinning Rock Bottom. Cue Maria to cheer for Santino (Lawler approves) as Santino is sent chest first into the corner. Umaga does it again as this is total dominance so far. The middle rope headbutt misses though and Santino hammers away, only to get knocked right back down in a hurry. The running hip attack crushes Santino in the corner and the Samoan Spike retains the title.

Rating: D+. Total and complete destruction here and that should wrap it up for Santino’s title shots. There is no reason to believe that Santino can hang with Umaga in a one on one match without assistance so this is the right way to wrap it up. Umaga can find some more people to fight for the title and odds are almost anyone would give him a better challenge at the moment.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Highlanders

Non-title and I had forgotten that the Highlanders were a thing around here. Cage runs Rory over with a shoulder to start and grabs a headlock to take him over again. Murdoch comes in for a headlock takeover of his own as this is another one sided match to start. A running elbow in the corner staggers Rory again and we hit the chinlock with a knee in his back. Rory gets up and his a jawbreaker to get a breather though and the hot tag brings in Robbie to clean house. Everything breaks down and a high/low finishes for Murdoch out of nowhere.

Maria apologizes to Santino Marella for the loss and suggests they go out tonight. Marella suggests he help her at his hotel, with Maria agreeing, as they could watch a movie. Or something.

Charlie Haas makes fun of Shelton Benjamin for kissing King Booker’s hand last night. Shelton, the birthday boy, is so confident that he’ll win tonight that if he doesn’t, he’ll kiss….Haas….on the lips. Haas is down and then realizes what he said. Oddly enough, no Ron Simmons cameo.

Video on John Cena.

Snitsky vs. Super Crazy

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start but charges into a boot. That’s about it for Crazy’s offense as Snitsky hits him in the back and whips him hard into the corner again. The pumphandle slam finishes for Snitsky in just over a minute.

Post match, Snitsky hits another pumphandle slam for a bonus.

We recap Randy Orton disrespecting Dusty and (the debuting) Cody Rhodes last week by slapping Dusty in the face. This week, Dusty wants some revenge.

HHH is coming back.

Here is Dusty Rhodes for a chat and he wastes no time in calling out Randy Orton. Cue Orton, with Dusty saying there was no way that it was going to be over last week when Orton slapped him in the face. Now is Orton just going to stand there and look stupid? Orton doesn’t want to hear the “respect your legends” speech again but Dusty goes on a mini rant about Orton spitting in Harley Race’s face. Dusty wants to hear about what Orton has done in the ring, so Orton talks about injuring Shawn Michaels and Rob Van Dam. That’s not how you gain respect, and LOOK AT DUSTY WHEN HE IS TALKING TO YOU!

Orton challenges him to a match at the Great American Bash, but Dusty says not so fast because he’s old and retired. That’s not cool with Orton, so he suggests that he’ll just end Cody Rhodes’ career instead. Dusty is willing to fight, but we’ll make it a Texas Bullrope match. Deal, with Orton saying Cody needs to be there to pick up the pieces. Cue Cody (Runnels according to JR), with Orton telling him to get out of the ring before he gets hurt. Cody slaps Orton in the face and Orton bails without going after the two of them.

Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin

This could be good. Shelton powers out of a top wristlock attempt to start and then takes London down into a front facelock without much trouble. Back up and London kicks away at the ribs for little effect so he grabs a front facelock of his own. That’s broken up as well so Benjamin snaps off a backbreaker, setting up an armbar of all things. London fights up with a hurricanrana into a small package for two, only to have Benjamin go right back to the arm. That doesn’t seem to bother London, who grabs a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was good while it lasted but it didn’t have a ton of time to go anywhere. That being said, this is about as good as you’re going to get from these two as far as time goes, as WWE has never exactly shown much interest in a serious push for London. Then there is Benjamin, and there is no reason to believe in any push he receives ever again.

Mr. Kennedy jumps the banged up Super Crazy for last week.

Shelton Benjamin seems hesitant to kiss Charlie Haas but Haas will settle for a kiss on the hand. They hug, and NOW Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Hold on though as Melina has a sprained ankle, but she has a replacement: the returning Beth Phoenix. Melina sits in on commentary as Beth hits Mickie with what would become known as the Glam Slam. Candice gets the tag just a few seconds later as everything breaks down in a hurry. Jillian side slams Candice for two but gets caught in a backslide to give Candice the fast pin. This was nothing.

Post match Beth and Jillian beat down Candice, with Melina literally jumping in to help as a villain should.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH is still coming back.

King Booker isn’t happy that HHH is coming back but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Kennedy says Bobby Lashley made them look like fools last week but Booker says that was just Kennedy. Revenge will be theirs!

Sandman vs. William Regal

Carlito is on commentary. Regal hammers away in a pair of corners to start as Carlito accuses Sandman of being drunk. Sandman comes back with a knee to the face but has to go after Carlito with the kendo stick. Another shot drops Regal to DQ Sandman.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

John Cena joins us via satellite and talks about how nice it was for Larry King to have people willing to have an intelligent discussion on wrestling on his show. As for Lashley, it’s true that he is an uncrowned champion. At the Great American Bash, we’ll find out who the real champion is.

Great American Bash rundown. That’s not a bad looking show.

Bobby Lashley/??? vs. Mr. Kennedy/King Booker

The mystery partner is….Jeff Hardy. I’ve heard worse ideas. In something I wouldn’t have guessed, Hardy is a bit taller than Lashley. Anyway, Booker and Hardy get things going with Booker missing an early ax kick attempt. Hardy starts in on the arm but gets taken into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Kennedy comes in and gets to stomp away in the corner until Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom.

The tag brings in Lashley to clean house, including a suplex to Kennedy. Booker gets knocked to the floor and Lashley plays Matt Hardy for some Poetry in Motion. A cheap shot from the apron lets Kennedy take Jeff down but he’s right back with the Whisper in the Wind. Now the hot tag can bring in Lashley to clean house as everything breaks down. The spear hits Kennedy with Booker making the save, so Hardy takes Booker outside. A leapfrog over Kennedy sets up another spear to give Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. This was a house show main style match and that’s all it was supposed to be. Cena had WWE business to tend to so putting Hardy in at the last minute was as good of an option as they probably had. The match wasn’t anything memorable, but it gave Lashley the chance to wreck some people and look great on the way to the pay per view title match.

Overall Rating: C-. There were some good pieces on the show but it felt like they were going through stuff as fast as they could have. Cena not being around changed a few things but I don’t think him being here would have brought the show up that much. It’s much more skippable than bad, though in a way that’s a worse situation to have.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 2, 2007: A Purpose And Get That Kid Out Of Here

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2007
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back to normal this week and that means it is time to get ready for the Great American Bash. Since we have nothing to go on after last week, I’m curious to see where this is going to go, but Vengeance would seem to suggest Bobby Lashley as the next challenger to John Cena. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of John Cena retaining the WWE Title in the five way match at Vengeance.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. His name is Mr. Kennedy (no repeat) and he should be WWE Champion. He never got the chance to do that though and it was because of these people. These people convinced him to defend his Money in the Bank briefcase before he was ready so from now on he is caring for himself only.

Cue John Cena to interrupt to welcome the new guy to Raw but Cena can’t remember his name. Cena knows that Kennedy likes to talk (Cena: “A lot.”) but now we are on Monday Night Raw, where anything can happen. After calling him Mr. Kenny G., Cena says he doesn’t trust Kennedy, as someone who threw away the biggest moment in WWE history. They go nose to nose but here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell to interrupt.

Booker says he should be the next challenger for the WWE Title (that’s so strange to hear these days) but Cena doesn’t take kindly to him. The challenge is officially laid out but here is Randy Orton to interrupt. Orton talks about all the things he has done on Raw but he has never had a one on one title match against Cena (that’s hard to fathom).

Cue Bobby Lashley to say he is the uncrowned champion because he never lost the ECW World Title. Lashley challenges as well, but William Regal, who is in charge tonight, because Jonathan Coachman is on vacation this week, interrupts. Tonight it’s a Beat The Clock Challenge and the winner will receive a title shot against Cena at the Great American Bash. We’ll even have a CONTRACT SIGNING tonight!

Beat The Clock Challenge: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Hardy rolls him up for an early two to start but Orton is out of the corner with a hard clothesline for two of his own. The stomping and legdrop give Orton two and we hit the chinlock, which doesn’t seem too bright in a match like this. A waistlock and slam give Orton two and it’s off to a bodyscissors with an armbar.

Hardy is back up with something like a Sling Blade to set up the slingshot dropkick in the corner. It’s too early for the Swanton though and Orton snaps his throat across the top. Hardy comes back with the Whisper in the Wind but Orton shrugs it off and grabs the RKO for the pin to set the time at 7:06.

Rating: D+. There’s something so annoying about having wrestlers suddenly wrestle a completely nonsensical style in a match like this. Since when would Orton be stupid enough to throw on a bodyscissors to kill time in a match where he is supposed to be going as fast as he can? It feels like a way to extend the match and therefore the clock, which could be done by just having a regular match.

Melina vs. Maria

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Maria takes her down and does the hair grab/head smash stuff to start, as it’s probably her best choice. Back up and Melina throws her down and rips at the face for a bit but Maria kicks her down. A bulldog puts Melina down but she hits a faceplant for a breather. The standing legdrop finishes Maria in a hurry.

Post match Melina and Candice get in a brawl with Candice knocking her down.

Video on HHH’s knee injury, surgery, and recovery.

Dusty Rhodes introduces Jim Duggan to his son Cody Rhodes. Randy Orton comes in to say Cody will be better than Dusty one day, though Orton threatens to kill his legend early. Dusty says that was disrespectful so Orton slaps him in the face. Cody has to be held back.

We recap Santino Marella winning the Intercontinental Title in Italy. It feels like we’ve seen that clip a few hundred times now. In a less seen clip, Umaga smashed Marella at Vengeance but lost via DQ.

Santino checks on Maria, who wants him to be careful against Umaga tonight. He has to do this and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Marella is defending and his kicks to the leg don’t do much. A dropkick doesn’t either as Umaga takes it outside to drop Marella hard on the floor. Back in and Marella avoids a charge into the post but Umaga sends him out again. The Samoan drop plants Marella back inside, setting up the running hip attack in the corner. The Samoan Spike gives Umaga the title back in a complete squash.

Rating: D+. That’s what it should have been as there is no reason for Marella to have a chance against Umaga in a straight match. Umaga is still a beast and someone who can run through just about anyone, with Marella being no exception. This is how the match should have gone and Marella’s title reign can go away so he can find a way to become interesting.

Beat The Clock Challenge: King Booker vs. Val Venis

The time is set at 7:06. Booker goes with a fast rollup to start, giving us an early standoff. Some strikes put Venis in the corner but he comes out with a suplex for two of his own. A cross armbreaker of all things sends Venis to the rope so Booker grabs a backbreaker for two. Booker misses a kick to the face and Venis strikes away, setting up a neckbreaker for two of his own. Not that it matters as Booker is right back with the ax kick for the pin, setting the time at 4:30.

Rating: C-. Slightly better than the first match but the levels of talent in the opponents are a bit off. Booker isn’t the most likely contender but he’s just right as someone who could pose enough of a threat that he’s worth keeping an eye on. Not much of a match here, though that’s not exactly the point in this thing.

Mr. Kennedy wants Super Crazy to lay down for him. The offer of some pesos has Crazy’s attention.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

The time is set at 4:30. Kennedy tells him to lay down but grabs the mic to yell at the fans, allowing Crazy to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Shelton Benjamin comes up to King Booker, who goes on a rant about Mr. Kennedy. Booker wants Benjamin to outlast Bobby Lashley tonight, with promises of a future title shot if he pulls it off.

Dusty Rhodes wants Randy Orton next week.

Carlito annoys Jillian Hall when Sandman comes in to spit beer at him. Ron Simmons, catchphrase.

Carlito vs. Sandman

Sandman drives him into the corner to start but Carlito switches places and stomps away. Sandman’s throat is snapped across the top and a snapmare of all things gives Carlito two. We hit the neck crank as Carlito certainly has a target to start. With that broken up, Carlito grabs the kendo stick but Sandman takes it away and smashes Carlito for the DQ.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Bobby Lashley vs. Shelton Benjamin

The time is set at 4:30. Lashley takes him to the mat to start so Benjamin bails to the floor to burn some time. Back in and an overhead belly to belly suplex rocks Benjamin but the threat of the spear sends him outside again. Back in again and Benjamin counters a backdrop into a DDT (cool) for a fast two. Lashley suplexes him down and hits some running clotheslines, followed by something like a powerslam for two of his own. Benjamin slips out of the running powerslam and hits a superkick. The springboard spinning clothesline….is speared out of the air to give Lashley the pin to beat the time at 4:05.

Rating: C. The athleticism alone was worth seeing as these two can do some amazing things in the ring. Benjamin getting to jump around all over the place is always worth seeing but Lashley was all but destined to get the title shot at Cena. They had a good finish on top of everything else so this worked.

HHH is coming back, date unknown.

Here is William Regal to run the John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley contract signing. Cena comes out and says they know each other so let’s get this over with. Cena knows Lashley is a great star and this will be a heck of a match. Lashley agrees and signs but here are Mr. Kennedy and King Booker to interrupt. The brawl is on and the villains are cleared out and Cena signs, but Lashley spears him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I can go for a show that is built around one idea like we had here, as this was almost all about setting up the title match. There are better ways to set it up than a Beat The Clock Challenge but at least they got everything done in a hurry. This wasn’t a show set up for the wrestling but we had some decent enough matches. Now just get us to the pay per view and the huge showdown and they should be rolling on the way to Summerslam.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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