GCW vs. DDT: That Wasn’t Wrestling

GCW vs. DDT
Date: March 31, 2023
Location: Ukranian Cultural Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

I think the title for this one says it all and that could go in a few different directions. I wasn’t thrilled with the DDT show from earlier in the week and GCW is hit or miss a lot of the time. Shows pitting two promotions against each other can be quite a mess but that’s part of the fun of seeing what they have. Let’s get to it.

Jack Cartwheel/Wasted Youth/Gringo Loco (GCW) vs. Daisuke Sasaki/Kanon/Sanshiro Takagi/Takeshi Masada (DDT)

Wasted Youth is Marcus Mathers/Dyln McKay and this is one fall to a finish. Takagi and Cartwheel start things off and Scott volunteers to be the official cartwheel counter. Cartwheel does a cartwheel and Takagi manages one of his own as I don’t think this is going to be overly serious. It’s already off to Sasaki vs. Mathers with Mathers sending him into the corner and snapmaring him back out.

With that going nowhere, McKay comes in to headlock Masada, who is right back out with a dropkick. McKay is fine enough to come back with a spinning brainbuster for two and everything breaks down. We settle back to Kanon fist dropping onto McKay and it’s back to Takagi to stay on McKay. Some rapid fire chops are enough to get over to Loco for the tag and everything breaks down fast.

Cartwheel hits a big flipping elbow over the top, setting up a big dive to the floor (with a Loco assist). Back in and Kanon chops away at Loco before Sasaki faceplants him down. Takagi is back in for a bunch of Stunners but McKay is there with an enziguri to Masada. Loco adds a moonsault, McKay hits a shooting star press, Mathers puts in a 450 and Cartwheel finishes with a Red Arrow for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: C+ This was a good way to start as you got a nice mixture of the two sides, with GCW getting to showcase themselves a bit. DDT didn’t stand out quite as much, but there is only so much you can do when most of you are in black and getting beaten up in the end. Fun match and they’re on the right path so far.

GCW – 1
DDT – 0

Saki Akai (DDT) vs. Dark Sheik (GCW)

Feeling out process to start as they circle each other until Sheik drops her with a shoulder. Back up and Akai hits a big boot but Sheik kicks her down even harder. A slingshot legdrop into a slingshot hilo keeps Akai down, followed by a splits splash for two. Akai manages to come back with a kick of her own and a high crossbody for two.

Sheik gets her leg swept out so a running knee can give Akai two. They slug it out, including boots to the head, with Akai getting the better of it and knocking her down. Akai grabs the abdominal stretch but Sheik reverses into a small package for the surprise pin to extend the lead at 7:19.

Rating: C. Nice match here as they felt even enough (maybe a slight advantage to Akai) as the good start to the show continues. I’ve seen Akai twice so far and she has done well in both matches, as there is a little something about her that makes you want to keep watching. On the other hand you have Sheik, who seems like she has something going for her and I could go for a few more matches.

GCW – 2
DDT – 0

East West Express (GCW) vs. Moonlight Express (DDT)

That would be Nick Wayne/Jordan Oliver vs. Mao/Mike Bailey. Wayne and Bailey start things off with a standoff so it’s off to Mao to shoulder Oliver (I had been waiting to see him this weekend). A dropkick puts Oliver down so Wayne comes in to help Oliver clear the ring. Naturally that means stereo dives but they try again and get punched out of the air by Bailey and Mao. Back in and Mao hits a springboard knee to keep Oliver in trouble, meaning it’s time to start in on the arm.

Mao rolls him into an abdominal stretch so Wayne makes the save, only to be knocked outside. Bailey moonsaults onto Wayne and Mao moonsaults onto Oliver for two, only to have Oliver blasts Bailey with a clothesline for two. The hot tag brings in Wayne to clean house until Mao drops him hard. Mao literally wiggles his way out of a waistlock but Wayne is back with a handspring Stunner.

It’s back to Oliver to take over on Bailey, including a running boot in the corner and sitout powerbomb for two. Wayne comes back in and gets caught with Bailey’s bouncing kicks. Oliver and Wayne are sent outside and stereo moonsaults from Mao and Bailey (from the same corner, with their arms around each other) drop them again. Wayne is busted open (it’s a bad one too) and it’s a double clothesline into a double hiptoss for two on Bailey.

Mao and Bailey are back with stereo backflip slams (Cameron Grimes does it in NXT) for two each. The Ultimate Weapon hits Oliver but Mao’s 450 hits knees. A tiger suplex gets two with Bailey shoving Wayne into the cover for the save. Wayne is kicked to the floor and the Tornado Driver (something like Aussie Open’s Coriolis) gets a rather close two. Oliver and Bailey trade rollups until a double team middle rope cutter plants Bailey for the pin at 16:20.

Rating: B+. This took its time to get going but I was way into it by the end and they had it rocking. I hadn’t seen these teams together before but you can tell they have the experience and skill to work well together. Heck of a match here and one of the better things I’ve seen so far this weekend.

GCW – 3
DDT – 0

Veda Scott swaps out with someone named Nick Knowledge.

Starboy Charlie (GCW) vs. Kazusada Higuchi (DDT)

The much bigger Higuchi takes him into the corner and gives Charlie a rub of the head before letting him go. Charlie tries to pick up the pace and goes for the leg, setting up a basement dropkick. Higuchi’s chop takes Charlie down and a running splash gets two. The neck crank goes on but doesn’t keep Charlie down long, leaving Higuchi to knock him down again.

A middle rope elbow hits Charlie for two, so he begs Higuchi not to chop him. That makes Higuchi chop him hard enough to put Charlie down but he’s back up with a Thesz press of all things. Charlie gets sat on top, where he manages to slip through Higuchi’s legs and hit a heck of a powerbomb. For some reason Charlie tries to chop it out, even nipping up when Higuchi knocks him down.

Charlie’s chest is blood red and Higuchi blasts him with a clothesline for two. A missed charge sends Higuchi into the post and out to the floor, allowing Charlie to get in a dropkick through the ropes. Back in and a middle rope corkscrew moonsault gets two, allowing Charlie to pull his straps up….and then right back down.

Higuchi has had it with this and grabs a doctor bomb for two, with the kickout just getting on Higuchi’s nerves. The claw slam is countered into a crossface and Charlie even rolls back into the middle. With the rope not working, Higuchi muscles him up for an Oklahoma Stampede. For some reason Charlie flips him off and gets flattened with a running shoulder. Now the claw slam can finish Charlie at 11:40.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t exactly a great match but it told a story and that made it work. You could see Higuchi go from toying with Charlie to having to put in the work to beat him, making this get more interesting as it went on. Charlie didn’t get in a ton of offense but what he did looked effective, which isn’t easy given the size difference. They pulled me in with this one and that isn’t easy to do so nice job.

GCW – 3
DDT – 1

Veda Scott comes back.

Joey Janela (GCW) vs. Yuki Ueno (DDT)

Ueno shoulders away to start but gets taken into the corner. Janela stomps on the fingers and starts in on the arm, including a hammerlock. Ueno fights out and sends him into the corner before tying him in the ropes. A running faceplant on the apron rock Janela, who is fine enough to come back with a Death Valley Driver for two. Janela sends him outside for the suicide dive, followed by the Fujiwara armbar on the bad arm back inside.

That’s broken up as well but Ueno misses a knee. A superkick just makes Ueno snap off a dropkick for two, only to have Janela hit the brainbuster. Janela goes up top but gets caught with a super hurricanrana. That and a flipping Fameasser (as in a Fameasser with the arm trapped and they flip forward until Janela lands on his face) for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C. Janela still isn’t the best in the ring but there is a weird charisma to him that makes him watchable. At the same time Ueno is someone who feels like he could be a star with some more experience and seasoning. It didn’t make for the best match, but Ueno’s offense was enough to keep it interesting.

GCW – 3
DDT – 2

Tony Deppen/Homicide (GCW) vs. Tetsuya Endo/Jun Akiyama (DDT)

Akiyama and Homicide look at each other a lot to start before it’s time to exchange wristlocks. It’s too early for Akiyama’s exploder so it’s off to Deppen vs. Endo. Deppen gets caught in a headlock and then gets shouldered to the mat. Deppen is back up for a nice looking dropkick and it’s back to Homicide for a running clothesline. Akiyama comes in and goes to the floor with Homicide instead.

The other two go to the floor as well and we have to go split screen for the double brawls. Homicide bends Akiyama’s fingers before heading back inside where Deppen can wrap the arm around the rope. Biting in the corner has Akiyama in more trouble but he comes back with a jumping knee. Endo comes back in to pick up the pace, including a springboard double clothesline.

Homicide manages a shot to take Endo down though and Deppen comes in off the top with a double stomp for two. Endo Boston crabs Deppen with Homicide grabbing a cutter for the save. That leaves Akiyama to come back in for the throws. With Deppen down, Endo adds the Burning (shooting) Star press for the pin at 12:20.

Rating: C+. Nice enough stuff here as you had a unique styles match here. Homicide can wrestle with just about anyone and Deppen has such a punchable face that it is easy to want to see him get beaten up. Akiyama and Endo both did well too, which shouldn’t be a surprise. I’m not with on a lot of Homicide’s stuff but it meshed well here.

GCW – 3
DDT – 3

Second Gear Crew (GCW) vs. Chris Brookes/Shunma Katsumata/Mizuki Watase (DDT)

The Crew is 1 Called Manders/Matthew Justice/Mance Warner and they get jumped from behind during their entrances. The fight starts on the floor and I’m not sure how much tagging you should expect here. Warner chairs Brookes but Brookes throws it at Warner’s already bleeding head. Back in and Manders takes off his boots to hammer away at some heads, only to run into some Legos (while wearing only socks).

Brookes breaks some kind of bin over Justice’s head and it’s Warner coming back in for a bunch of jabs to Brookes’ face. Warner grabs a ladder and does the helicopter spin until a low blow cuts him off. Katsumata puts the ladder around his own neck but gets picked up and speared down in a big crash. The DDT guys get back up and stack the bins together, setting up a top rope backsplash to drive Justice through the bins (they broke well) and into the Legos for two.

Everyone is back up for the strike offs with DDT taking over. Brookes grabs the staple gun and staples the Crew’s heads, only to have them all fight back. Katsumata gets stapled in a variety of places and now it’s time for the door. The PowerPlex through the door gets two so Manders manages to pick up both of his partners at once (geez). The charge misses though and Manders drives both of them through another door in the corner.

DDT all goes up for a triple Van Terminator and a triple near fall. The doors are set up again on the floor and Katsumata dives off a ladder to drive Justice through them. Back in and the Crew starts swinging doors to take over, followed by a chair to Watase’s head. Watase just screams a lot and sends Warner outside. Manders lariats Katsumata and Warner adds a DDT for the pin at 15:19.

Rating: C. This is the kind of hardcore match that you kind of expect from GCW but they didn’t get into the stupid/over the top stuff that gives the place its reputation. The Crew is a team that feels like they could be a constant in GCW as they work well together and have a good look. The DDT guys were fine, but I absolutely didn’t need to see one of them get chaired in the head like that. Cut that stuff out.

GCW – 4
DDT – 3

We run down some upcoming shows while the ring is cleaned up.

Pheromones (DDT) vs. Bussy (DDT)

That would be Danshoku Dino/Yuhi Ino vs. Effy/Allie Katch and I still have nightmares about that one Pheromones match. After a somewhat personal weapons check, we’re ready to go. Allie and Ino start things off but hang on as Ino needs to pose on the middle rope (Effy seems VERY interested). Allie finally kicks Ino in the gut after nearly two minutes of posing but he takes her down and exposes his nipples.

Effy comes in to face Dino and they lock it up, with Allie having to prevent a kiss. With that not working, Effy goes for a waistlock and Dino bends over. Everything breaks down and Effy is rather pleased with the idea of Ino unzipping his singlet. Dino slaps at Effy’s trunks, with Effy sitting on the buckle for easier access. That finally breaks up and a double atomic drop gets two on Ino.

Effy and Ino have a gyrate off until Ino starts to strip. That means only the jockstrap is left and Effy needs a minute. Dino takes his trunks off too and Effy is officially on their team. The Pheromones do their Merry Go Round deal (it involves rubbing various parts of their bodies over someone’s face) to Allie but Effy throws her aside to take her place. Then Effy takes his own trunks down and makes it a three person Merry Go Round.

Effy breaks up the cover so Allie gets caught in a Boston crab/headscissors, meaning her face goes between Ino’s legs. Effy finally throws some forearms and Allie kicks Ino low as this just keeps going. Allie takes down her own trunks and hits some cannonballs in the corner. A Stunner and Pedigree get stereo near falls because THIS JUST KEEPS GOING. Effy takes Ino into the corner for some hip thrusts to the face before putting him in another corner. A Human Centipede ensues, including various referees, which is finally a no contest at 13:38.

Rating: F. Nope.

GCW – 4
DDT – 3

A triple kiss ensues post match.

Ironman Heavymetalweight Title: Yoshihiko (DDT) vs. Cole Radrick (GCW)

Yoshihiko (still a blow up sex doll) is defending. Radrick shakes her hand to start and gets taken down with a headlock takeover. Another headlock takeover cuts Radrick down and an armdrag sends him to the floor. A big flip dive over the top is pulled out of the air though and Yoshihiko is launched into the wall. They go back to ringside where Yoshihiko hits a tornado DDT on the floor and gets two back inside.

Radrick’s powerbomb attempt is countered into a very spinning headscissors for two. A splash in the corner is broken up and Yoshihiko grabs a super hurricanrana to send Radrick outside. The big flip dive drops Radrick again but he’s fine enough to hit an Air Raid Crash into the corner. It’s time for a door because of course it is, plus a bunch of chairs (some of which land on Yoshihiko).

The door is sat on some tables but Radrick takes too much time to go up, allowing Yoshihiko to sit up. There’s the superplex through the table for two but Radrick is back with a running Death Valley Driver through a door in the corner. Yoshihiko’s piledriver gets two and she throws some chairs at his head. Back up and Radrick Death Valley Drivers her onto a chair for the pin at 14:36.

Rating: C. As was the case in the previous Yoshihiko match, this is a different kind of entertainment and the wrestling really isn’t there. This is all about the fans having a good time and I can give the human points for some creativity with some of this stuff. At the very least, it is something different that the fans like. I won’t argue with anyone who thinks it’s idiotic or a waste of time, but given the other stuff on this show, it was brilliant.

GCW – 5
DDT – 4

Post match they shake hands and Yoshihiko kicks him low. A small package gives her the title back.

Overall Rating: C. This is a tricky one because there is some good stuff on here, but the bad is just so awful that it’s hard to get my head around it. There is a special skill needed to do something that awful and stupid and they managed to pull both of them off here. Other than that and the main event (the ultimate your mileage may vary deal), the rest of the show was up and down, with the tag match being very good but some of the other stuff just being kind of there. I probably won’t be back to DDT anytime soon, but the GCW talent has some potential. Not a great show, but that’s mainly due to a few things rather than the whole.

 

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DDT Is Coming To America: That Wacky Puro

IMG Credit: DDT Pro

DDT Is Coming To America
Date: April 4, 2020
Location: La Boom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 650
Commentator: Trevin Adams, Pat Hill

This is from DDT (Dramatic Dream Team) Pro, a Japanese promotion which has some comedy elements. It’s part of last year’s Wrestlemania weekend series of shows and the only bits I’ve seen from this promotion are other shows from the same weekend. If nothing else, this show has the Ironman Heavymetalweight Title, which is one of the funniest long running jokes in modern wrestling. Let’s get to it.

I know very little about this promotion or anyone involved so please bare with me if I don’t know a storyline or character point.

Mr. Haku, the English commentator, is in the ring to welcome us to the show, mainly because he is the only English speaker in the promotion. He reads some announcement, mainly about the company’s streaming service and Right To Challenge Anytime Gauntlet, their version of the Money in the Bank briefcase, though there are multiple ones at the same time. However, the briefcase is defended at any given time so it might change hands before the night is over.

There is one more concept to cover though, and that is the Ironman Heavymetalweight Title. This is the ultimate comedy title, with over 1300 reigns and title changes coming in the forms of Rock, Paper Scissors games, dream sequences, in exchange for autographs and more. DDT wrestlers, wrestling legends, schoolchildren, a baseball bat, an invisible man and a ladder among MANY other things have held the title over the years.

Therefore, here is the 1350th champion, Saki Akai, a popular woman, comes out as Haku explains the Delayed Entry Battle Royal for the title, which is coming later on. Also later tonight, there will be a Weapon Rumble in the USA match (not for the title) involving wrestlers supplying weapons, which will be added to the match at timed intervals. We’re ready to start the show….but Makoto Oishi comes in, spits in Akai’s face, and small packages her for the title.

Company owner/founder/president Sanshiro Takagi comes out to do the traditional opening speech: LET’S PARTY!

Opening video, including a card rundown ala New Japan.

Damnation vs. Shuten-doji

That would be Soma Takao/Tetsuya Endo (the latter of whom holds one of the Right To Challenge Gauntlets) vs. Masahiro Takanashi/Yukio Sakaguchi. The former seem to be the heels, or at least the far more serious team. Endo and Sakaguchi start things off with Sakaguchi sitting down on the mat as Endo circles him. They both wind up on the mat for some grappling with neither being able to get anywhere. They get up and it’s a double tag to bring in Takao and Takanashi, the latter of whom gets quite the reception.

Takao grabs him by the hair so Takanashi does the same, even tossing Takao down by said hair. Endo pulls Takanashi down from the floor so Takao can hit a basement dropkick. More hair pulling lets Endo come in for a backbreaker for two. A reverse Rings of Saturn has Takanashi in trouble so Sakaguchi makes a quick save. Takanashi gets stomped down in the corner and Takao dropkicks him down, only to nip up before covering. That’s not the brightest move in the world and Takanashi uses the break to block a slam attempt.

A suplex is enough to make the hot tag to Sakaguchi as everything breaks down. Takao hits a quick top rope double stomp to the back but Sakaguchi pops back up for the slugout. Takao kicks him in the face and it’s back to Endo for a springboard forearm. Takanashi comes back in and strikes it out with Endo, including a grab of the nose to set up a kick to the face.

Endo is right back with a running shooting star for two and Sakaguchi’s running knee his turnbuckle. Another attempt at the running knee takes Endo down to give Takanashi two. Endo rolls him into the reverse Rings of Saturn and adds a guillotine to make Takanashi tap at 9:27.

Rating: C+. You can see some star power in some of these people, with Endo shining as brightly as anyone involved here. Endo and Takao looked like the more serious and dominant team here and it made sense for the two of them to win. Good opener here and you could tell the fans cared about the four people involved.

Ironman Heavymetalweight Title: Delayed Entry Battle Royal

This is an eight person Royal Rumble style match with one minute intervals, pin/submission/over the top eliminations and Makoto Oishi defending. Also note that anyone who eliminates the champion wins the title but the match continues until only one person is left. Kazuki Hirata is in at #1 (he dances a lot) and Saki Akai (who lost the title earlier tonight) is in at #2 as I’m expecting the comedy to be high here.

Hirata offers a handshake and then kicks her in the ribs, giving us a “WHO ME?” look. Akai kicks him in the chest and gets two off a high crossbody as Kikutaro is in at #3….or at least he would be if the ringside doctor didn’t say that he needed his blood pressure checked. Apparently Kikutaro’s blood pressure is too high and he can’t compete. That seems legit as there is no reason to do this otherwise.

Kikutaro is eliminated as Akai kicks Hirata in the back for two and Colt Cabana is in at #4 (you had to know he was coming in something like this). Cabana and Akai stare each other down with Cabana making some rather suggestive gyrations. An offer of a kiss earns him a slap to the face as Mizuki Watase, a guy in a suit, is in at #5. Cabana hits the Flying Apple to crush Hirata and Akai in the corner but Watase takes him down in the same corner for Coast to Coast. Hirata gets up and gives Cabana a….flick to the chest (Maybe?) for the elimination as champion Oishi is in at #6.

Oishi gets in and rolls outside, meaning Hirata and Akai follow him for the chase. That earns Hirata a belt shot to the head as Yuu, a popular woman, is in at #7. Some headlock takeovers work for a bit but she can’t take Watase over. Instead she picks him up and throws him over for the elimination. Oishi spits in Akai’s face again and small packages her for the second pin of the night.

And then it’s Yoshihiko, a sex doll who comes out to the Corporate Ministry theme carried by Kikutaro and a holder of the Right To Challenge Gauntlets, plus an eleven time champion (That old story again?) in at #8, giving us a final field of Yoshihiko, Hirata, Oishi and Yuu. It’s a chokeslam from Yuu to Yoshihiko and a dropkick sends Hirata into the corner. Yoshihiko…..headscissors Yuu and Oishi gets the elimination.

A super powerslam gives Oishi two on Yoshihiko as I try to figure out what I’m watching. It’s a reverse DDT into a Sharpshooter on Yoshihiko….who reverses into a half crab to make Oishi tap and win the title. Hirata pops back up and hammers on Yoshihiko, only to get choked and almost very tilt-a-whirl headscissored. Instead Hirata reverses into a chokeslam but it’s another tilt-a-whirl headscissors into a Code Red (just go with it) for two (again, just go with it). Hirata finally reverses into a sunset flip for the pin, the title and the Right To Challenge Gauntlet at 11:35.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what I just watched and I kind of want to see it again. This was the kind of wackiness that I wanted to see from the title and while it is going to get the usual criticisms for being ridiculous (and yes I’ve done it before), it was a fun spectacle. If nothing else, managing to make the doll look almost lifelike more than once, is impressive enough. Complete insanity at times of course, but that’s what you’re going for.

Post match, Hirata chokeslams Yoshihiko to the floor….and gets kicked in the face by Akai. A crucifix bomb makes her champion again, but it does not count for the Gauntlet because it wasn’t a sanctioned match. I think?

Akito/Ethan Page vs. Harashima/Kazusada Higuchi vs. Renegades

The Renegades are Jason Kincaid/Shigehiro Irie (who was a nice hidden gem over the weekend) and they have Watase is in their corner. Page and Akito do angels in the ring before the other teams come out. Page, Higuchi and Irie start things off with the three way test of strength to start until a double shoulder puts Higuchi down. Irie runs Page over but gets run over by Higuchi to give us a three way tag.

Kincaid yells a lot and it’s a circle of forearms. Then they change directions to really mix things up a bit. Akito and Harashima double team Kincaid to send him outside so it’s Page coming in to double team Harashima. He’s right back with a double stomp in the corner (ala Sasha Banks’ knees) but the Renegades break it up. Kincaid goes Coast to Coast on Harashima and Irie adds a slingshot splash.

Harashima is on the apron so Kincaid gets a running start and spins over the ropes for a rather unique double stomp. Page is back up and powerbombs Kincaid onto Harashima, followed by an Iconoclasm to send Kincaid into Irie. A middle rope elbow gets two on Irie and it’s Higuchi throwing Akito around with ease. Harashima adds a slingshot splash for two but Akito is right back with a Figure Four. The Renegades break that up and get two each with Higuchi making a save of his own.

Back up and Higuchi tries a sunset flip on Irie but can’t get him over. At the same time, Irie grabs a piledriver on Harashima and Kincaid spikes him down onto Higuchi in a pretty unique move. That’s broken up as well and it’s Akito slugging it out with Irie. Harashima gets Pounced hard by Irie and Kincaid adds the top rope X Factor on Page. A reverse hurricanrana plants Akito and it’s a Buzzsaw kick into double running knees to give Harashima the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C+. Fast paced and entertaining match here with the fans behind everyone involved. Page is an underrated talent and someone who is worth seeing almost anywhere he goes. I’ve seen Kincaid before and he has one of the most unique offenses I can remember in a long time. Higuchi is a pretty awesome big guy and Harashima was definitely over with the crowd. You can tell the fans like these guys and that’s a nice thing to have for a show like this.

Sanshiro Takagi vs. Mao

This is the Weapons Rumble In The USA match, meaning they have chosen three weapons each. One new weapon will be introduced every minute and either of them can use it. I think this might have been used on an episode of the Wrestlers (check that series out). Takagi (President of the company) is a Steve Austin inspired wrestler, meaning his music starts with the glass shattering and he does the double arm pose in each corner).

Mao on the other hand has a plastic sword and garbage can lid shield, plus two computer keyboards hanging from his back. They both miss some shots to start and it’s Mao scoring first with a dropkick. It’s time for the first weapon, which is….a wrestler dressed as Hulk Hogan (apparently named Antonio Honda).

This is booed out of the building as the shirt is ripped off. Takagi chops away but Honda Hulks Up and the fans are a little more into him. Honda’s big boot and legdrop give Mao two and it’s time for the second weapon: a bunch of plastic storage bins? Takagi slams Mao through a container for two and it’s time for the third weapon (the clock is all over the place here): garbage cans.

Mao puts it on Takagi’s head and botches a 619 attempt. He hits the second one (mostly) and it’s time for the fourth weapon: a bicycle (complete with Dusty Rhodes impression from commentary). They take turns riding on the bicycle with Takagi throwing it at Mao’s knee. The fifth weapon is a bunch of Legos, because that’s the big new thing in these matches. Starship Pain onto Takagi onto the Legos gets no cover and it’s already time for the sixth weapon: a toilet. Fans: “HOLY S***!”

Takagi DDTs Mao into it and then breaks off the lid, which is kicked into his face. Mao sends him face first into the toilet and the referee takes it away. Mao goes up and is superplexed right back through the containers as we hit the seventh weapon (though I thought there were only six): Chunsuke Nakamura, complete with fake US Title.

Nakamura shakes Takagi’s hand and then hits him low, setting up COME ON. A Michinoku Driver through a container gives Mao two so he puts another container full of Legos on Takagi’s ribs. The 450 only hits container though and Nakamura hits a running knee to the chest. An AA through the trashcan gives Takagi two and a spinning sitout powerbomb through a container finishes Mao at 12:24.

Rating: C+. You know, I actually liked this. They didn’t hide what they were going for and it was the wacky comedy that you kind of expect out of a match like this. I can go for comedy more when they go full steam ahead and that is what they did here. Fun match, and the kind of insanity I wanted to see from a DDT show.

Tokyo Princess of Princess Title: Miyu Yamashita vs. Maki Itoh

Itoh is challenging and grabs a headlock to start. A back elbow takes Miyu down and she gets sent into the buckle over and over. Miyu avoids a falling headbutt though and kicks the heck out of Itoh for two. A snapmare gets the same and we hit the reverse chinlock. That actually needs a rope break for the escape and Itoh hits her own falling headbutt for two.

The chinlock, with a middle finger, goes on but Miyu fights up for a hard clothesline. Itoh Hulks Up out of the corner and they slug it out with the champ getting the better of things. Itoh is back with a Boston crab, sending Miyu to the ropes this time. A quick DDT plants Miyu but she avoids a splash. Miyu kicks her in the head and hits a Shining Wizard to retain at 7:01.

Rating: C+. This was fun enough despite the lack of time. They got in and did their thing with some good action and intensity, though it was a lot of “I do a move and then you do a move.”. Still though, it was a nice joshi match and it makes sense to put it on here to add some flavor.

Post match, Itoh flips her off again just because.

Joey Ryan/Royce Isaacs vs. Antonio Honda/Danshoku Dino

Yeah it’s Joey Ryan, but I’ll give them points for having him come out to the Pina Colada song because it really couldn’t be a better fit. During the entrances, Dino (who apparently came up with Ryan’s special suplex and has a magic….well the opposite side of Ryan’s) goes around kissing random fans. Hold on though as Ryan has to do his lollipop distribution and the baby oil deal.

Joey and Dino start things off with Joey offering to have him touch it. They slug it out instead with Dino giving it a quick touch, setting up a standoff. Honda and Isaacs come in and Honda hurts his knee almost immediately. It’s so bad that he decides to retire….but first he wants to tell a fairy tale? He wants to make the world happy so he tells a story about a fox, which he makes with his hand. The fox went to the Empire State Building but then realized it was the Empire State Big D*** and pokes Isaacs in the eye.

Dino comes back in for some pelvic thrusting and grabs a claw inside Isaacs’ trunks. Mounted thrusting ensues and the fans declare this wrestling. As I think Jim Cornette would disagree, commentary says “Don’t tell Jim Cornette that.” Honda comes in for some near falls and it’s back to Dino, who lowers the trunks to reveal….well very little clothing actually. He does some squats over Isaacs’ face but Ryan comes in to knock him down onto Isaac.

That earns him a belly to belly suplex and it’s back to Ryan. Dino injures his knee on an atomic drop attempt and is then forced to touch it. Honda makes the save and is forced to touch it as well, with Dino making the save. Dino drops his trunks again and uses it to flip Joey for a change (just go with it). With Dino on top, Honda pulls down Dino’s remaining gear (Fans: “WE WANT A**!”) to reveal even less and Joey goes face first.

Isaacs comes back in for a Jackhammer but Dino gives him some rapid fire low blows. Honda pokes Isaacs in the eyes to send him into Dino’s….yeah you get the idea here. With Dino sitting on top, Honda makes the foxes with his hands and sticks them into Dino to charge them up, only to have Joey make him poke himself in the eye. Joey makes Honda touch it so Dino tries to flip Joey again, only to have Joey flip him from behind. The lollipop goes inside Dino and then into Honda’s mouth. Sweet Tooth Music is good for the pin at 13:22.

Rating: UN. For um, no. This is the kind of thing that you hear about from wacky wrestling and while I won’t say it’s absurd or stupid or not wrestling or whatever, it’s absolutely not for me and nothing I ever need to see again. You know what you’re getting when you get into this show but egads this was a rough one. Just not my thing and it never will be.

KOD Openweight Title: Konosuke Takeshita vs. Daisuke Sasaki

Sasaki is part of Damnation (at ringside with him), Takeshita is defending and this is the company’s top title. Sasaki takes him into the ropes and slaps him a few times for some mind games. They go to the mat with Sasaki grabbing a headlock and then leg lariats him down. A time out request earns Sasaki a right hand but his friends offer a distraction so Sasaki can get in a shot to the knee on the floor.

Back in and the knee is in trouble, with some stomps and an Indian Deathlock making it worse. A rope is grabbed and it’s an overhead belly to belly to send Sasaki flying. The knee won’t let Takeshita follow up so it’s a delayed DDT to plant Sasaki again. One heck of a Blue Thunder Bomb gives the champ two but Takeshita misses a running boot in the corner. Sasaki drapes him over the top for a running dropkick to put Takeshita in trouble again. Takeshita catches him with a big boot on top but can’t hit a German suplex to the floor.

They head outside with Sasaki sending him into the crowd and hitting a Russian legsweep into the chairs. A heck of a flying elbow onto the chairs crushes Takeshita again and it’s a crossface to make it worse back inside. That’s broken up as well and they forearm it out until Takeshita stomps on the fingers. Takeshita accidentally boots the referee in the corner so Sasaki gets in a low blow.

That’s good for a pretty quick two as that’s a resilient referee. Takeshita rolls outside, where he manages to catch a suicide dive and suplex Sasaki onto the apron. Now the running boot connects with Sasaki in the corner but he’s right back with a Pedigree to cut the champ off again. A scary release German suplex sends Sasaki flying (and nearly landing on his head), followed by a lariat to give Takeshita two.

They botch a Code Red attempt (making it look more like a reverse hurricanrana) to give Sasaki two and the crossface goes on again. That’s broken up as well and a kneeling tombstone gives Takeshita two more. The fans are split as Takeshita knees him hard and hits a springboard Swanton to a sitting Sasaki. Takeshita loads up a German suplex but Sasaki grabs the referee to hit a pair of low blows. A running hurricanrana gives Sasaki the pin and the title at 19:02.

Rating: B. Now this was more like it with a very good back and forth match. They were going back and forth here for a long time with Sasaki cheating over and over until Takeshita just couldn’t overcome the odds any longer. This was easily the best thing on the show so far and shows the athleticism and skill that the company can offer after some of the insanity earlier in the night.

The fans chant PLEASE COME BACK but Sasaki has something to say. He says this is his championship but here’s Tetsuya Endo with his Gauntlet….and it’s on.

KOD Openweight Title: Tetsuya Endo vs. Daisuke Sasaki

Sasaki is defending and is chopped down while the introductions are being made. Endo suplexes him into the corner and hits a Spanish Fly for two. The champ rolls to the floor and teases a countout but Endo isn’t having any of that. Back in and Endo misses a springboard 450, allowing Sasaki to grab a rollup for two. They slug it out on the apron with Endo trying a torture rack but getting reversed into a quickly broken crossface. Back in and Endo hits a spinning torture rack slam for two more. Endo’s shooting star is good for the pin and the title at 4:03.

Rating: C. There’s only so much you can get out of this but they did their thing well enough while it lasted. Endo stealing the title was a cool moment to end the show but it’s weird seeing what seems to be a heel (albeit a popular heel) cash in on another heel. Both guys looked good here though and you believed Sasaki could pull it off.

Post match the announcers sign off but Endo grabs the mic to apologize to Sasaki. Endo addresses the crowd but says he can only speak Japanese. I don’t understand what he says, but he seems to put over DDT and New York. Endo praises Sasaki and the rest of his teammates before saying remember us.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is not going to be for everyone (and a lot of it wasn’t for me) but it was never boring and was rather energized throughout. What mattered here was how different things felt, which is the point of Wrestlemania weekend. It offered a bunch of different styles of wrestling that you don’t often see and that’s what you got here. It’s not something I’m going to want to watch again, but if you’re into something a little less serious with some good action in there, give this one a shot.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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