Monday Night Raw – January 21, 2008: Get To It Already

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2008
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we should be in for some final pushes. There is some drama to this one as HHH has to earn his way back into the match by beating someone tonight. That is a problem though as Vince McMahon hasn’t said who HHH is facing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. video, as per his holiday.

We look back at Jeff Hardy jumping off a really high tower onto Randy Orton last week.

Opening sequence.

And hey we’re officially in HD.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy

The fans are WAY behind Shawn, even as Kennedy armdrags him into an armbar to start. Back up and Shawn sweeps the leg and grabs a headlock on the mat. That’s reversed into a battle over a backslide but Kennedy neckbreakers him onto the knee and cranks away. Shawn fights up and hits a swinging neckbreaker for the needed breather, meaning the comeback is on. There’s the forearm into a nip up and Shawn drops the top rope elbow. The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Kennedy outside though, leaving Shawn to dive on him as we take a break.

Back with Shawn being sent hard into the corner and a running boot to the head gives Kennedy two. The Mic Check is blocked but Kennedy rams him into the corner and takes it up top. Shawn knocks him off but another elbow hits raised knees, which thankfully hurts his knee, as it should. Back up and the threat of Sweet Chin Music drops Kennedy, allowing Shawn to try his leglock. Kennedy blocks that too, but Shawn is right back up with Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C+. The idea of Kennedy hiding from Sweet Chin Music for the whole match and then managing to escape the other finisher, only to get superkicked was a good way to go. It’s a different way to go and they made it work well here. This needs to be the end of the story though as there isn’t much else left for them to do.

Randy Orton is annoyed at Vince McMahon for wanting him to shake Jeff Hardy’s handshake. Vince tells him to get over it before saying it could give Orton a competitive advantage at the Royal Rumble. That has Orton thinking.

Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

Non-title. Mickie loses a test of strength to start and has to counter a powerbomb. A Thesz press works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers out of the hurricanrana from the corner. A rollup gives Mickie two and she grabs something like a choke to slow Beth down. Back up and Beth knocks her to the floor for a crash, followed by a chinlock to keep Mickie in trouble. That’s broken up as well and Mickie hurricanranas her out of the corner. Beth powers up though and drops her on the top rope before pulling it into the fisherman’s buster for the pin.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to do much but the bigger problem is that Mickie is one of the few women who could give Beth a real run for her money. The division isn’t exactly deep with talent at this point and if Mickie isn’t going to take the title, they are going to have to build someone else up in a hurry. I’m just not sure who that is going to be.

HHH makes fun of Vince McMahon’s age before saying he doesn’t care who he is facing tonight because he is going to the Royal Rumble. That is a guaran-censored-tee.

Brian Kendrick and Cody Rhodes are fired up about being in the Royal Rumble when Hardcore Holly comes in. This turns into a discussion of MySpace and Holly is lost.

Video on Randy Orton, eventually focusing on his feud with Jeff Hardy.

Hornswoggle/Finlay vs. Highlanders

Rory takes Finlay into the corner to start but he knocks Robbie off the apron without much effort. For some reason Rory goes after Hornswoggle, meaning Finlay blasts him with a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash is good enough to give Hornswoggle the fast pin.

Video on JBL vs. Chris Jericho.

Here is a more serious Jericho for a chat. Jericho talks about how he could come out here and rant and rave about how he wants JBL tonight, but that won’t work. Last week, Jericho was watching Raw with his children when JBL called him a coward. His son asked if he was a coward and for the first time, Jericho saw doubt in his son’s eyes.

JBL didn’t make a mistake when he choked Jericho and hurt his throat, but only when he didn’t finish the job. Jericho is still here and he isn’t coming to the Royal Rumble for a shot, but to hurt JBL. This was serious Jericho and it worked really well. Do this kind of thing more often, at least when it’s needed.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vince McMahon yells at Jeff Hardy over last week’s mega Swanton and tells him to never risk himself like that. Now go shake Randy Orton’s hand. Hardy promises to give everyone something to talk about.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Brian Kendrick vs. Umaga

William Regal pops up on screen to introduce Umaga. Kendrick avoids a charge to start and strikes away but gets hit with an uppercut to cut that off fast. The running Tree of Woe headbutt misses though and Kendrick goes for some running shots to the face. This goes as well as you would expect as Umaga hits the pop up Samoan drop. The Samoan Spike sends Umaga to the Rumble fast.

Mickie James cries to Maria about losing to Beth Phoenix again. Ashley Massaro comes in and wants to talk to Maria about something she heard at the Playboy Mansion. Cue Santino Marella who doesn’t like Playboy and accidentally suggests Maria is a cow.

We look at Vince McMahon on the Celebrity Apprentice.

Video on Jeff Hardy on his way to the World Title match against Randy Orton.

Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly

Santino Marella and Maria are here with Carlito so Holly has Cody Rhodes with him. They fight over a hiptoss to start until a full nelson slam plants Carlito for an early two. Carlito takes him down as well and we hit the chinlock, only to have Holly fight up for a suplex. That earns him another takedown but Hardy is back up again and wins a slugout. Santino’s distraction breaks up the Alabama Slam though and Carlito hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another match with no time to get anywhere and that isn’t a big disappointment. You can only get so much out of these two fighting for any length of time and it isn’t like there was much of a point to this one. Nothing to see with the match, but at least Holly didn’t have a wig on.

HHH won the 2002 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: HHH vs. ???

William Regal comes out to say HHH has to beat three opponents in an over the top rope gauntlet match. First up is Snitsky, who forearms away to take over but HHH slips out of a powerslam. A running clothesline knocks Snitsky out so Regal sends out Mark Henry as the second opponent. Henry runs him over and goes for the elimination but it’s far too early for that. The splash misses for Henry in the corner so HHH tries and fails at a slam. Now the splash connects but he misses a charge, meaning Regal himself is the third opponent. Regal can’t get him out so HHH punches him in the face and hits the spinebuster. The easy elimination sends HHH on to the Rumble.

Rating: D. What else was this going to be? It was HHH winning three straight short over the top challenges against two monsters and a lackey in a suit. You can’t get much out of that and that is about as far as they got here. HHH was always going to be in the Rumble and they didn’t bother with anything overly flashy here, which was about as good as this was going to get.

Another video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy.

Here is Vince McMahon to oversee a handshake between Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy. Vince knows how big of a match this is going to be and has them stand face to face. Orton talks about how he was relieved when he found out he would be facing Hardy. Now though, he admits he underestimated Hardy, though Orton is leaving with the title.

Hardy doesn’t care about gaining Orton’s respect and says he has been doing these things for himself and his brother Matt. He’ll do anything to become WWE Champion and doesn’t respect Orton. Hardy goes outside and shakes hands with JR, the King, Lilian Garcia and a bunch of fans. Back in and Hardy shakes Orton’s hand, only to naturally pull him into the Twist of Fate to end the show. The handshake stuff was good and going to the fans was clever, but was this ever going to end with anything but a Twist of Fate?

Overall Rating: C-. There wasn’t much to be done here and I think they knew that coming in. With the World Title match having been set for weeks now and the Rumble not needing much more work, there wasn’t a lot that had to be done here. The Rumble should be a good show and I’m curious to see where things go after that.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 31, 2007: Right In The Missing Appendix

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 31, 2007
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re wrapping up the year with this one as Raw is back to a regular show after last week’s Tribute To The Troops. There is a big main event set up for this week as Ric Flair is defending his career against HHH in one of his most famous locations. That’s quite the way to finish off the year so let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Randy Orton, who is officially the Greatest Raw Superstar Of 2007.

Here is Orton in the ring to get things going. Orton says the letters RKO define this year and promises to be even more ruthless next year. Either way, he will be WWE champion, but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt. Hardy says Orton had a great year but right now, he doesn’t have momentum. We see a clip of Hardy pinning Orton last week, which Hardy says he can do it. Orton says ask Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels and John Cena about momentum and threatens Hardy. An RKO attempt is countered into a Twist of Fate and Hardy gets to pose as the build continues to grow.

Video on Ric Flair’s dilemma, as he has to retire the next time he wins a match, as per Vince McMahon’s orders. For a bonus, Vince is making Flair face his friend HHH tonight.

Matt Hardy is here to see Jeff Hardy and thinks the Royal Rumble could be Jeff’s night. In addition, Matt might be back at the Rumble and if Jeff wins that night, how about Matt gets the first title shot? Jeff could go for that, but Matt shouldn’t expect to win.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Shawn Michaels

They start fast with Kennedy taking him to the mat but Shawn is back up for a standoff. Some armdrags set up an armbar on Kennedy before Shawn drives him knee first into the mat. The half crab goes on for a bit until Kennedy gets up and spears him through the ropes. Shawn barely beats the count back in and we take a break.

Back with Kennedy working on the leg for a change and kicking him in the face for two. Shawn gets tied in the Tree of Woe for some boot choking, followed by a superplex for two more. The seated abdominal stretch doesn’t last long as Shawn fights up and hits the flying forearm. Shawn misses the top rope elbow though and Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. The pinfall reversal sequence gets a bunch of near falls but the superkick misses, allowing Kennedy to grab the Mic Check for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here with Kennedy working over the back for most of the back and avoiding the elbow to hurt it even further. Shawn was desperate and Kennedy capitalized on the missed superkick to get the win. I don’t buy Kennedy being anything important anytime in the near future, but he did well enough here.

HHH isn’t happy with having to fight Ric Flair tonight but he’ll give it his all. Vince McMahon, with William Regal, comes in to gloat. Regal throws in a bonus: if HHH loses, he’s not in the Royal Rumble. Well that makes things more interesting.

Big Dick Johnson and Jillian Hall dance/sing in the New Year, setting up a Ron Simmons cameo.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office when Vince gets a phone call from someone from USA. With that seemingly meaningless, Vince wants Regal to prove himself tonight in a match with Hornswoggle. Regal would be happy to show him some tough love. Oh and don’t worry about Finlay because he’s in Northern Ireland. Regal was looking a bit rough here.

We look at Jim Duggan winning the first Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Jim Duggan vs. Umaga

Duggan fires off right hands to start and gets knocked down with a single shot. The running hip attack connects in the corner, which draws blood from Duggan’s mouth. Umaga Samoan Spikes him for the easy win.

Ric Flair is talking to Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes when Vince McMahon comes in. Vince gets straight to the point: it’s over for Flair tonight, and there is no more limousine riding or kiss stealing.

Here is JBL for his Raw debut, so yes we do get balloons falling from the ceiling. We also get A LOT of pyro before JBL talks about how great it is that he is here, even if he doesn’t need to be here. He is here because he likes power and crushing people under his thumb. If he can’t buy it then he will take it, but here is Chris Jericho for the brawl. Referees and agents break it up (with commentary laying out for added effect).

In the back, JBL, with a bloody nose, yells at the agents and makes various threats.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending and gets kicked in the face by Mickie, setting up an early Thesz press. Melina comes in for a cheap shot and gets two on Mickie, which doesn’t set well with Beth. A double enziguri drops Beth but Mickie neckbreakers Melina for two. Back up and Melina breaks up a hurricanrana to Beth but gets dropkicked in the face for her efforts. A rollup gives the challengers a near fall each and a double dropkick sends Beth outside. The MickieDT plants Melina but Beth throws Mickie outside and fisherman’s busters Melina to retain.

Rating: C. They were getting in as much as they could here but you can only get so far in four minutes with three people involved. It was about trying to get a pin as fast as you can and that was only going to work for so long. These three could have a good match, but they were handcuffed by the time here in a big way.

William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Vince McMahon is here with Regal and gives Hornswoggle a pre-match hug. Regal is in street clothes and backs Hornswoggle into the corner with as much trouble as you would expect. The big left hand is loaded up….but Regal can’t do it. Vince gets on the apron for some glaring and orders Regal to do it, allowing Hornswoggle to get in a cheap shot. Regal again loads up the left hand but won’t do it. Vince even throws in the brass knuckles but Regal still doesn’t hit him. That’s enough for Vince who comes in to slap him in the face and say Regal failed the test. We’ll call it a no contest somewhere around here.

Post match Vince tells Regal to get out of here and asks what happened to him. Regal leaves and looks disgusted (as only he can).

We look back at Jeff Hardy taking out Randy Orton earlier tonight.

Jeff Hardy vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and Santino has Maria and Carlito with him. Santino starts fast and gets in a few shots in the corner but Jeff is right back with a sling shot dropkick. Cue Randy Orton on the screen though, where he kicks Matt Hardy where his missing appendix used to be. And in the head too (as Roddy Piper once said to Gorilla Monsoon).

HHH wishes Ric Flair luck, but implies that the match is a foregone conclusion. Flair doesn’t like that, but says they’ll always be friends because HHH is what Flair was 20 years ago. HHH isn’t the man until he finishes Flair, even if they’ll always be friends. For one night though, Flair is going to be the man again. HHH: “You be the man and I’ll beat the man.” Good line.

HHH vs. Ric Flair

HHH’s Royal Rumble spot vs. Flair’s career. Flair WOO’s to start and the fans seem to like him here. A early takedown lets Flair strut and HHH is starting to look a bit more serious. The right hands vs. chops battle goes to Flair so HHH knees him down. Flair fights out of the corner though so it’s a facebuster to take him down for two.

There’s a neckbreaker for two and a spinebuster makes it even worse for Flair. The Pedigree is countered into a backslide for two so HHH is right back up with the sleeper. A suplex gets Flair out of trouble and a butterfly suplex drops HHH again. Flair goes up and actually manages to hit a high crossbody (in a Starrcade callback) before starting in on HHH’s knees.

The Figure Four is broken up though as HHH kicks him into the corner but the knees are still banged up. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair even drags it back to the middle. The second attempt at the rope works a bit better and HHH hits the Pedigree, only to bang up his knees again. Cue William Regal to hit Flair with the brass knuckles for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This could only be so good as they didn’t hate each other and Flair can’t get to that level anymore. The match was more about giving Flair one last hurrah in Greensboro and that was just fine, as it is one of those important towns for him. It was even a pretty good match, but they had some heavy limitations.

Overall Rating: C+. You can feel the build to the Royal Rumble starting up and that is a great thing to see. It makes things feel that much more important as it means Wrestlemania is on the (very distant) horizon and everything gets cranked up. This includes Jeff Hardy, who has a rocket on his back right now and I’m looking forward to seeing him every week. Good show here, and the road to the Royal Rumble is on, meaning things should keep going up

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 17, 2007: He Could Win

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Armageddon now and the big Raw story was JBL getting physical for the first time in a long while as he cost Chris Jericho the World Title. That means Randy Orton needs a new challenger and that is exactly what he has in the form of Jeff Hardy. The Royal Rumble is coming up, but so is the end of the year so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon getting beaten up at the Raw 15th Anniversary in a pretty cool moment.

Opening sequence.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Santa’s Little Helper match. Jillian tries to sing but gets cut off by the other team’s entrance and we’re ready to go. Maria flips Jillian down to start and it’s Michelle coming in to clean house. A bunch of hiptosses put the villains down before Kelly comes in. That doesn’t go so well as Victoria and Melina double team her down in the corner. Kelly is out in a hurry and brings in Mickie, with the MickieDT finishing Victoria in a hurry.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? It’s a bunch of women in their festive outfits, which were the stars of the match. There was no story or structure to the match and they were probably told the winner and nothing more. It did its job well enough, but that had nothing to do with having a match.

Post match the winners clear the ring but here is a very shaken looking Vince McMahon to tell them to get out. Vince talks about how last week was supposed to be a celebration of his greatest creation but he was left laying and covered in beer while everyone else celebrated. What he doesn’t understand is how all of these people were so happy to see it.

Cue Jeff Hardy (there’s a pair you don’t see very often) to say that next week they’re going to Iraq. Jeff says that the people celebrated when Saddam Hussein was killed because he was crazed with power. Does that sound familiar? Vince gets the point…and sits down in the corner to cry as we take a break.

Back with William Regal and a referee trying to get Vince to leave but here is HHH instead. HHH calls Regal Liberace and says he’s the closest thing Vince has left to family. Vince cries even more so HHH sits next to him and apologizes for everything that happened last week (which he lists off). HHH: “Now get out of the ring before they cancel the show.”

Regal isn’t having this so he threatens….to have security throw HHH out. Vince forces himself to his feet and tells Regal to get Coach, but no security. Tonight it’s Regal/Coach vs. HHH and Vince hopes something bad happens to everyone. Then he cries some more. Weird Vince can be entertaining Vince and that was the case here.

HHH vs. William Regal/Jonathan Coachman

Everyone is in street clothes for a unique look. A single right hand drops Coach and HHH slugs away on Regal. The numbers game gets the better of things though and HHH gets sent into the post. Then a kick to the head drives it into the post again and Coach gets two. That’s enough for HHH as the comeback is on with right hands all around, plus a facebuster to Regal. The brass knuckles are cut off with a spinebuster to Regal and HHH picks up the knuckles. Coach gets poked in the head with said knuckles, setting up the Pedigree for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. What else is there to say about something like this? It was a quick workout for HHH, who isn’t going to lose often and especially not to these two. Vince losing his marbles is a good sign and if he sends these two do bumble through his bidding, it could be a lot of fun. For now though, HHH got to beat them up and he knows how to do that very well.

We recap JBL costing Chris Jericho the Raw World Title last night.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Holly and Rhodes are defending after winning the titles from Cade and Murdoch last week. Cade drives Rhodes into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Holly to chop Murdoch against the ropes. An atomic drop, with Cade adding a running big boot, cuts that off and an assisted legdrop gives Murdoch two. The dropkick gets Holly out of trouble though and it’s back to Rhodes as everything breaks down. Rhodes DDTs Cade to retain the titles. Well that was brisk.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat before his latest career threatening match. Flair reiterates that he will NEVER retire, even though Vince McMahon said the next time he loses, he will never wrestle again. Apparently Vince doesn’t want to see him get hurt but Flair has been doing this for thirty five years and he has loved doing all of this. Flair has sacrificed everything to be here and he isn’t about to throw it away.

He has traveled the roads for thirty years and we hear about a lot of them (Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, Ricky Steamboat etc), plus some of the new friends he has made (Batista, Undertaker, HHH, Shawn Michaels etc). Now he has to be the Nature Boy and he respects everyone in that locker room. Tonight it’s another journey because he has Umaga but he is giving it all he has. He wants the best from whoever beats him and isn’t losing without the fight of his life. If he loses tonight, thank you. Rather nice speech there, as Flair knows how to bring the emotion.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair strikes away to start to the same amount of avail that you would expect. Umaga shoves him down without much trouble and grabs an early nerve hold. Back up and a clothesline drops Flair again, setting up a belly to belly for two. Some cannonballs down onto the chest keep Flair down and we’re right back to the nerve hold.

Umaga misses the middle rope headbutt though and now Flair’s chops work a bit better. The chop block doesn’t do much though and Umaga knocks him outside. The big running charge misses though and Umaga crashes through the barricade, allowing Flair to beat the count back in and survive.

Rating: C-. That’s how this should have gone, as Umaga was squashing Flair until he managed to escape rather than win. Flair shouldn’t be able to beat someone like Umaga at this point and they didn’t bother trying to do anything else. That kind of emotional trip is something Flair can sell as he knows how to do as well as anyone. Not a great match, but a properly told story.

Flair: “One more thing: WOO!”

Here is Chris Jericho to call out JBL. He should be happy with what he did last night because he beat Randy Orton, but it was by DQ. We see a clip of JBL interfering to cost Jericho the title and he wants an explanation. JBL isn’t here tonight, so Jericho will be heading to Smackdown to get some answers in person.

Cue JBL on the Titantron to say he’s too busy to be in a place like Buffalo. Jericho is low on JBL’s list of priorities and he blames Jericho for causing his own problems. Apparently this means Jericho being sent into JBL last night, which sends Jericho into a rant about how everyone is knocked over out here. Timekeeper Mark Yeaton got superkicked last week but he didn’t storm the ring. JBL: “MARK YEATON NEEDS AN APPOINTMENT TO TALK TO MY DOORMAN!”

Jericho promises to be at Smackdown but JBL warns him that a deal will be made to prevent that. JBL knew this would happen and talked to Vince McMahon, saying that if Jericho goes after him again, there is no Royal Rumble and no future title shot. That makes Jericho think that JBL has lost his killer instinct and is now listed with the talk show hosts and broadcasters. That’s too far for JBL, who is coming to Raw next week because he is a wrestling god. Seems to work for Jericho.

Santino Marella/Carlito vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Santino and Carlito. Hold on though as Carlito and Santino aren’t sure who should start because they’re new at this teaming together thing. Kendrick takes over on Santino’s arm to start and hands it off to London to stay on that arm. London’s running dropkick puts Santino down again so it’s off to Carlito to try his luck. A high crossbody takes Carlito down but Santino offers a distraction. That’s enough for a Backstabber to finish London for quite the upset.

Post match Santino thinks Carlito is Colombian and makes a spitting joke as the new team doesn’t seem to be the greatest idea.

Randy Orton says he did exactly what he promised to do last night by beating up Chris Jericho. Now he is ready for Jeff Hardy at the Royal Rumble.

HHH congratulates Ric Flair on his win. They’re both rather happy but here is wacky Vince McMahon to say HHH can face Flair in a career threatening match in two weeks.

Jeff Hardy/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Orton runs Hardy over to start but Hardy kicks him away for a standoff. Kennedy comes in to knock him into the corner, only to get knocked down for the legdrop between the legs. A crossbody hits Kennedy and everything breaks down with the good guys hitting stereo dives to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Hardy missing Whisper in the Wind to put him in trouble for a change. Orton stomps away before handing it right back to Kennedy, who gets caught with a clothesline. It’s back to Shawn to clean a few rooms before Orton cheap shots him from the apron.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Shawn is whipped hard into the corner for a crash to the floor. Back in and Orton starts the circle stomp before Kennedy grabs a camel clutch of all things. With that broken up, Shawn enziguris his way to freedom and falls into the corner for the tag to Hardy. The pace picks up (as it tends to do with Hardy) and everything breaks down (as it tends to do with main event tag matches). Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and a very fast Swanton to finish Orton for a statement win.

Rating: C+. This match was designed to do one thing and one thing only: make it clear that Hardy could win. Hardy is on a roll at the moment and all roads lead to the Royal Rumble, where Hardy might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans are behind him and he is racking up win after win, so why can’t he make something like this work? That seems to be the idea they are focusing on at the moment and that could wind up being great. Shawn and Kennedy were there too, but this was all about Hardy beating Orton.

Overall Rating: C. You could definitely tell this was a show where they were taking things a bit less seriously as it was a more lighthearted and easy week. The main event served a purpose, but the only other story that was treated seriously was Flair. Vince was being his over the top self and that tends to be more humorous than anything else, though it’s not like HHH beating up Coach is ever going to get old. Not the most interesting show, but an easy watch.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2012 (2013 Redo): Lesnar’s Summer

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 29 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

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Monday Night Raw – December 10, 2007 (15th Anniversary Special, 2022 Redo): I Love It

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2007
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a special show this week as it is the fifteenth anniversary celebration of the show. That means not only do we have a bunch of guest stars, but it is an extra large three hour edition. Throw in that it is also the go home show for Armageddon and this is going to be a busy night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a mash up of Raw intros over the years, though oddly enough they aren’t in chronological order.

Here are the McMahons (minus Linda of course) for a chat. Vince is ready for the McMahon Family Portrait but first, he needs to brag about how great Raw has been over the years. Tonight it is time for a family reunion, though minus Linda McMahon who has some stomach issue. Instead, he has Shane and Stephanie out here and wants the photographer but gets Hornswoggle. That means Hornswoggle grabs the leg, so Shane has to pull him off. Vince says he loves Shane, Stephanie, and the fans.

It’s time for the picture, but here is HHH to interrupt. Vince: “What are you doing here?” HHH: “I’m waiting on that pop to die down.” HHH says he’s here for the family portrait because everyone knows what is going on here. It’s like he could be Vince’s son! HHH: “Sup Steph?” Anyway, HHH wants to bring out some of the Divas, past and present, that Vince has loved before. This includes Melina, Sunny and….Mae Young! Vince: “It was at Moolah’s funeral I had a lot to drink. Steph…..and I was thinking of your mom!”

HHH calls out any WWE employee who has been mistaken for a woman and that Vince has attempted to love, drawing out the Fink, Big Dick Johnson, Bastion Booger, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz. HHH: “I guess the Brooklyn Brawler was busy tonight.” Stephanie says she’s embarrassed by Vince so it’s time that she embarrassed him. She kisses HHH for the first time in a good many years and leaves. HHH: “I’ll see you at home. Uh, I mean your brother’s a gnome!”

Vince to HHH: “I HATE YOU!” HHH tells Vince to just go away but realizes that Hornswoggle is sad. All he wanted was to be happy, so HHH brings out the Godfather, complete with women. JR: “Even Patterson is happy!” Hornswoggle’s mind is blown and dancing ensues to wrap up a hilarious segment, with HHH getting to do the humor that suits him best.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Hardy is defending in a ladder match. Carlito kicks him down and sets up the ladder way too early, only to have to stop for a clothesline. Hardy gets in a shot of his own but a slingshot dive only hits ladder. A dropkick knocks Carlito off the apron and into a ladder bridged against the barricade so Hardy goes up. That means Carlito has to springboard in to land on the ladder (Shelton Benjamin style), setting up a sunset bomb to leave them both laying.

We take a break and come back with Jeff missing a legdrop over the ladder to send him crashing down. Carlito crushes the leg in the ladder and then drops a ladder onto it to make Hardy scream even more. Hardy can barely move so Carlito….puts the ladder in the corner instead of climbing, earning himself a backdrop onto said ladder. The Swanton connects but a Backstabber sends Hardy into the ladder. Carlito goes up but this time Hardy shoves him down and retains the title.

Rating: C+. They weren’t going for anything groundbreaking here but Jeff can do this match in his sleep (and probably came close to it at various points). Carlito was just a challenger of the week as Jeff is on his way up, as he isn’t going to be losing less than a week before his pay per view showdown with HHH. They had some big spots here, but it’s just a quick ladder match with as much drama as that can bring.

Shawn Michaels can’t believe it has been fifteen years of Monday Night Raw. He was on the first show and defended the Intercontinental Title against….someone (Max Moon). While Shawn can’t remember fifteen years ago, he can remember Mr. Kennedy bringing in an impostor Marty Jannetty. That’s why he brought in the real one this week to face Kennedy, because he faces MR. HBK……HBK…..this weekend.

We take a look at some classic OMG Raw moments. I know these things are done over and over but there really have been some great ones on this show over the years.

Here are Santino Marella and Maria, with the former being tired of all this….and here’s a surprise.

Santino Marella vs. Rob Van Dam

Kick to the head and the Five Star finish in less than forty five seconds. Very nice cameo as Van Dam is always going to pop the crowd.

Long video on Evolution, which really was a special stable in a lot of ways.

Here are all four members of Evolution (or “original” members according to the introduction, even though there were only ever four of them) for a reunion. Randy Orton comes out last but says he’s going to stay on the stage instead of having the rest of the teams ride his coattails. Orton remembers what happened when HHH turned on him the last time he was champion. HHH: “Yeah that was pretty cool.”

They beat him up because hes was annoying, but Orton would rather be remembered as part of Rated-RKO with Edge, who comes out as well. Edge says he’ll take the World Title from Batista on Sunday, but Ric Flair says find a partner and let’s fight. Orton has already done that so we’re ready to go.

Evolution vs. Umaga/Rated-RKO

Joined in progress with Batista handing it off to Flair to lock up with Edge. As Lawler clarifies that the “Flair retires if he loses” only applies to singles matches, Umaga takes Flair down and grabs a nerve hold. Orton comes in to stomp away and the knee drop gets two. A backdrop gets Flair out of trouble and it’s Batista coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Umaga cleans house….but also shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was all about the reunion and I get why they didn’t have one of the #1 contenders lose. That being said, Umaga has lost to HHH on his own how many times now but can’t take a fall to most of Evolution? As has been the case with everything on this show, this is about the moment instead of the match and that’s not a bad thing.

Post match Orton and Edge leave Umaga on his own, meaning it’s big beatdown. Couldn’t they have just done that for the finish to the match?

More classic Raw moments, this time involving vehicles.

Hornswoggle annoys Mickie James and Molly Holly until William Regal breaks that up. Regal talks about Vince McMahon’s tough love, which tonight will be shown in a match against the Great Khali. Oh and as luck would have it: Finlay’s plane ticket from Ireland was canceled so Hornswoggle is on his own.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

The bell rings….and it’s Hulk Hogan (in black) for the save. We get the big staredown and Hogan hammers away, eventually knocking Khali down. That’s enough for Khali to bail as we get a tease for one more Hogan match. Hogan thanks the fans, talks about American Gladiators, does a Randy Savage OH YEAH (ok then), and poses with Hornswoggle for the funny moment.

Here are some classic D-Generation X moments.

Another classic moment: the debut of Mr. Socko, which has to be up there on the “how did they get this stupid thing over”, with the answer being “because Mick Foley is really awesome”. Vince throwing him out and sealing his own fate because he has no protection from Steve Austin a few minutes later makes it all the better.

Legends Battle Royal

Al Snow, Bart Gunn, Doink The Clown, Repo Man, Steve Blackman, Pete Gas, Bob Backlund, Gangrel, The Goon, Skinner, Flash Funk, IRS, Scotty 2 Hotty, Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Neidhart, Gillberg

For some reason there are sixteen people in a fifteen man battle royal but oh well. Gillberg gets the big entrance, but the impressive one here is Blackman, who looks better than he did in his career. Everyone gets together and tosses Gillberg before Backlund is knocked out as well. Snow knocks Doink out with Head and then does the same thing to Gangrel. Head Cheese explodes for a bit but Funk kicks Snow out.

A bunch of people go out in a hurry and suddenly we’re down to IRS, Slaughter, Scotty and Skinner. IRS grabs his briefcase but Scotty knocks it into his face, setting up the Worm. Skinner dumps Scotty but gets caught in the Cobra Clutch. That’s broken up as Slaughter tosses Skinner, only to get dumped by IRS for the win.

Rating: C. This was more or less the poor man’s version of the Gimmick Battle Royal and that is not a bad thing. Again, this was all about the wrestlers having one more moment and the winner wasn’t important in the slightest. Just let the fans have some fun with the “oh I remember him” moments.

Hold on though because here is Ted DiBiase….who pays off IRS to eliminate himself and give DiBiase the win. That’s always great.

People have been slapped over the years.

Here is Eric Bischoff to talk about how things keep changing but always stay the same. At the end of the day, he is here to take your money and people like the McMahons need him to reinvent the business. So now give him a round of applause! Or have Chris Jericho interrupt, and Bischoff knows this isn’t good.

Bischoff: “Didn’t I fire you in this ring a couple of years ago?” Jericho remembers being fired but he thanks Bischoff for reigniting a fire in him. That’s why he’ll be the new WWE Champion on Sunday, which has Bischoff laughing. Jericho laughs at Bischoff for being fat and going bald but Bischoff suggests Jericho just forfeit the match to Orton right now. After some rhyming, Jericho knocks him down and takes out Randy Orton for trying to interfere. This felt like the “oh yeah we should do something about that match” segment.

Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Rhodes and Holly are challenging and Dusty Rhodes is on commentary in case you needed a hint about the result. Dusty is very excited (believe it or not) as Cody starts with Murdoch, who slams him down for an elbow drop. Cade misses an elbow of his own though and the hot tag brings in Holly to clean house. The dropkick hits Murdoch and Cade hits him by mistake to make it worse. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin and the titles. Nothing wrong with a title change to make a show like this feel special, especially with Dusty there too.

Celebrities have been on Raw over the years.

Video on the Divas over the years, which has been up and down to put it mildly.

Here is Jillian Hall, who has a Christmas album out. She starts singing the 12 Days Of Christmas but Trish Stratus interrupts. Trish doesn’t like Jillian’s singing but Jillian doesn’t like Trish’s ego. Cue Lita for the staredown with Trish but they team up in hatred of music. Those two deserve a quick moment on this kind of a show and this was good.

Also on Raw over the years: comedy hijinks! Oftentimes minus the comedy, but Edge and Christian on the kazoos continue to reek of awesomeness. Thankfully Mick Foley getting the Rock with an IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK and taking a lap around the ring is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

And now, weddings! They are quite the tradition and they still work, at least most of the time.

Lita watches the wedding video when Kane comes up to her. Awkwardness ensues, with Kane asking if she’s seen any good movies lately and Lita asking about the weather. Ron Simmons gets his cameo.

Armageddon rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Marty Jannetty

Marty goes after the arm to start but Kennedy kicks the knee out and grabs a half crab. Back up and an enziguri gets Marty out of trouble, allowing him to hammer away for two. The right hands in the corner are countered with Kennedy’s atomic drop but Marty is back with the Rocker Dropper. Kennedy breaks up the top rope fist drop though and the Mic Drop gives him the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here that ties into something that happened last week. Marty wasn’t bad, but what are you supposed to get out of a four minute match that didn’t have a ton of drama? Not an awful match or anything close to it, but Marty felt like a relic from the past instead of a threat.

Post match Kennedy stays on Marty but Shawn Michaels runs in Kennedy gets on him too, drawing out HHH for the save and (another) DX reunion.

Here is Vince McMahon to name the Greatest Superstar In Raw History. There are maybe three realistic options for that pick, but Vince announces……HIMSELF as the winner. Cue Mankind for the Mandible Claw to leave Vince laying for a nice reaction. Then the lights go out and a gong strikes, meaning it’s the Undertaker (coming to the ring…..slowly…..methodically…..at his own pace) for a chokeslam. As you might imagine, with Vince down and mostly done, the glass shatters and here’s Steve Austin, who still seems rather popular.

Austin thinks fifteen years of Raw is impressive and deserves a toast so he’ll drink to that. Vince needs to get up, but Austin lays down next to him for the toast, only to realize that this isn’t going to work. Austin gets him up and Vince tries to drink, only to get cut off by the Stunner.

With Vince done, Austin says the card Vince had didn’t matter, because the greatest star in the history of Raw is the fans. It doesn’t matter if you’re at home watching on TV or in this arena in the cheap seats or front row, you’re the reason this show has worked for so long. Austin calls out the locker room for a beer bash (William Regal and CM Punk seem to have something else in hand) and one more punch to Vince wraps us up, as only it could.

Overall Rating: A. This is a great example of a show that was not about the wrestling whatsoever and that is not a bad thing. This show was all about nostalgia, with Armageddon being something that was kind of in the background. I had a blast with the nostalgia between the clips and the appearances, and the big ending at the end was great. WWE knows how to do reunion shows well and this is one of the better ones they’ve ever done.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 26, 2007: I’m Worried For The Future

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2007
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the holiday week and the big story coming out of last week is the return of Chris Jericho. You can see the Raw main event of next month’s pay per view from here but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Jericho is an instant main eventer and someone to give Orton a challenge, though he might have some rust to shake off first. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Jericho’s return last week and his challenge to Orton for a Raw World Title shot.

Opening sequence.

HHH/Jeff Hardy vs. Snitsky/Umaga

Hardy and Snitsky start things off with Hardy being sent straight into the corner for the tag off to HHH. Some shoulders to the ribs slow HHH down but he avoids a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. That lets HHH start in on the arm before both villains are sent to the floor. Hardy dives onto the two of them but gets caught, meaning HHH has to knock the three of them down as we take a break.

Back with Umaga hitting Hardy with the swinging Rock Bottom and Snitsky coming in to crank on both of Hardy’s arms. An elbow to the face drops Hardy and Umaga adds a spinwheel kick for two. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Hardy flips out of Snitsky’s pumphandle slam. A dropkick into the back allows the hot tag to HHH so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and Snitsky is sent out to the floor. HHH clotheslines him out over the barricade and Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind on Umaga. The Pedigree into the Swanton finishes for Hardy.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much drama here and that isn’t the biggest surprise. Hardy is on a roll and HHH is HHH so they shouldn’t be having trouble with Snitsky and a rapidly decreasing Umaga. Hardy seems ready to move up to the next level and being around HHH, in one way or another, is a good way to do that.

Post match here is William Regal to say he wants to see both of them fighting at Armageddon, and they’ll just do that against each other (with the clarification that it will be non-title).

Ric Flair arrives and Lawler thinks he might have a special announcement.

Here is Flair for a chat. Flair seems serious and that he has an announcement to make. The fans here have always been so good to him, as has every city he has ever competed in, the world over. He has been gone for six months because everyone knows that his career can’t go on forever. That’s why he has gotten involved in a lot of other things, but there will be a time when he has to retire. Right now though, he is announcing…..THAT HE WILL NEVER RETIRE! He loves this business and is going nowhere but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

Vince said Flair had him going and hopes that Flair goes on forever….as long as he keeps winning. That’s exactly what he said: Flair can keep wrestling as long as he keeps winning, but once he loses, his career is over. Vince: “Good luck Ric, and I hope you don’t die anytime soon.” Vince goes to leave but here is Randy Orton to interrupt. Orton thanks Flair for everything over the years, both in and out of the ring. He also thanks Flair for the pleasure of ending his career tonight, so Vince makes the match for tonight.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Highlanders vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly/Super Crazy/Jim Duggan

Robbie works on Crazy’s wrist to start but Crazy pulls him over to Duggan to take over. The arm cranking ensues until Cody gets elbowed in the face. Cade comes in to knee him in the ribs and it’s off to Murdoch to work on the arm. That’s broken up and Cody sends Murdoch arm first into the post, allowing the hot tag to Holly. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam finishes Robbie as Duggan, again, never tagged in.

Rating: C-. As usual, there is only so much you can do with a match like this as they had a lot of people and not much time to use. Holly and Rhodes working well together is somewhat interesting and it isn’t like there are any other teams around to get in the way of their title shot. Duggan never actually tagging in is kind of a funny deal for him, as it isn’t like his team is going to go anywhere anyway.

Jeff Hardy has had fun teaming with HHH but he hesitates to call them friends. HHH comes in to say he doesn’t do the friends thing and at Armageddon, Jeff is in the ring with the Game.

We look back at Shawn Michaels superkicking a chair into Mr. Kennedy’s face last week.

Mr. Kennedy has a copy of the new Shawn Michaels Heartbreak and Triumph DVD but doesn’t sound overly impressed. He talks about Shawn losing matches but also his smile, which is a good lesson. Shawn also whines a lot as he keeps his main event spot in spite of a bunch of young, hungry wrestlers. There are some highs and lows, but Shawn’s lowest point will come when he faces Kennedy.

Ric Flair is in the back with Arn Anderson and Barry Windham for the surprise cameos.

Here is Chris Jericho, who is here to save us from Randy Orton and become WWE Champion. Everyone but Orton gets this and that is because Orton has the IQ of a kumquat. Jericho makes it simple by saying “me want title match.” He even has visual aides with a photo of himself (Me), Cookie Monster (Want), the WWE Title (Title), and a match (Match).

Jericho wants an answer but gets Santino Marella instead. Marella calls him KYJ but Jericho can’t get his name right either (Sandusky? Santana? Santa Maria?). Finally Santino snaps and shouts his name, with Jericho managing to get it. Santino says he’s ready to beat Jericho up so Jericho wants a referee out here right now. Hold on as Santino needs to warm up, meaning he decks Jerry Lawler and we take a break.

Santino Marella vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho kicks him into the corner and chokes a bit to start, setting up a suplex. The triangle dropkick puts Marella on the floor but he’s back in with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on but Jericho is right back up. An atomic drop and bulldog set up the debuting Codebreaker for the pin to finish Santino.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here other than “hey Jericho wrestles too”. Oh and that new finisher thing but I can’t imagine it goes anywhere. Jericho still looks weird with the hair but the charisma that he has is more than enough to make up for anything that is off with his look. Marella continues to become one of the most annoying things in WWE and that is a good thing to have around.

Post match Jericho has Lawler come in the ring to beat on Santino a bit. Jericho jumps on commentary as Lawler drops the middle rope fist for the feel good beating.

Shawn Michaels wishes Ric Flair good luck and gives him a pep talk. Flair promises to go out in a blaze of glory, which has Shawn thinking.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick

Kennedy shoves him around to start and shrugs off a dropkick. Some stomping in the corner sets up a Downward Spiral to put Kendrick away fast.

Post match Kennedy challenges Shawn Michaels for Armageddon.

Smackdown Rebound.

Hornswoggle is in Vince McMahon’s office, with Vince going over Hornswoggle’s recent luck. Finlay has been around a lot in those moments though, and that’s why Vince is giving Finlay a match with Great Khali at Armageddon. As for Hornswoggle, Vince sends him to get an ice cream sandwich. With Hornswoggle gone, Vince grabs a walkie talkie and says “Mr. Rogers Has Left The Neighborhood. Repeat: Mr. Rogers Has Left The Neighborhood.”

We cut to Hornswoggle with a box of ice cream sandwiches, but then he sees a sign for FREE ICE CREAM SANDWICHES. He goes into the room, where Carlito is waiting. Hornswoggle is scared, but pulls out some spray paint and paints a hole in the wall. He runs through said hole, and disappears. Then Carlito tries to do it and hits his face on the wall. Ron Simmons cameoing ensues. Eh Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner did it better. The breaking the laws of….I guess matter, not the cameoing.

Mickie James vs. Melina

The winner gets a Women’s Title shot at the pay per view so Beth Phoenix is at ringside. Feeling out process to start until Melina kicks her in the face for an early one. Mickie takes her into the corner and tosses her back out though, setting up the Thesz press for two. A hurricanrana out of the corner sets up the MickieDT to finish Melina fast.

The roster applauds Ric Flair on his way to the ring. HHH shakes his hand and hugs him, telling Flair to show them who he is.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and Flair’s career is on the line. Flair chops away to start and drops Orton with an elbow to the face. Back up and Orton punches his way out of the corner, setting up the backdrop to put Flair down again. That means the circle stomp is on but Orton misses the big knee. He settles for a dropkick to take Flair down again though and we hit the chinlock.

Flair fights up and gets clotheslined to the floor, where Orton suplexes him for a bonus. The headlock goes on back inside but Flair is out again, this time starting in on the leg. The Figure Four is locked in the middle of the ring (the fans are WAY into this) but Orton makes the rope. Orton hits the RKO for two, with Flair grabbing the rope as well. A bunch of right hands to the head have Flair in more trouble but here is Chris Jericho to distract the referee. Flair uses said distraction to get in a low blow and rollup (with trunks) for the upset pin.

Rating: C+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t anything of note on its own but was boosted up by the crowd’s reactions. The fans were into everything that Flair was doing and that is enough to move things up all the higher. The ending gives Orton some protection and should further set up the already set Jericho title match so at least they got somewhere with the result.

Overall Rating: C-. Forgive me for not being thrilled with a show that featured all kinds of Flair praise and Hornswoggle running through a hole in the wall. The rest of the show was pretty lame as well, as Raw continues to trail pretty far behind Smackdown week to week. Jericho vs. Orton should be good, but this show has me worried about how the top stories for this show are going to go in the next few weeks.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – November 19, 2007: He Saved Us

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 19, 2007
Location: Bank Atlantic Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Survivor Series and the big Raw story is that Randy Orton retained the Raw World Title over Shawn Michaels. That means Orton is going to need a new challenger and as luck would have it, the SAVE US deal is going to be revealed tonight. That could mean….ok even the fans are already chanting the name so this isn’t much of a surprise. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

A running man is carrying a torch through the streets.

Opening sequence.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. There is no reason to wait on it, so Shawn invites Randy Orton out here to shake his hand. Orton pops up on screen to say he isn’t coming out there and getting superkicked again. Shawn: “All right, all right, you got me. If you came out here, I was going to kick you again.” Shawn also wants a rematch, but Orton says no because he has already proven that he is the better man. That is why the torch bearer is on his way from Miami to Fort Lauderdale, as we are going to be seeing the torch passed.

Cue Mr. Kennedy to charge the ring and go after Shawn so the fight is on. Shawn wants a match but Kennedy says Shawn is best known for losing over and over in big matches. Or just losing his smile. Cue William Regal to say ring the bell and here’s a referee as we take a break. Back with the bell not ringing and the fight continuing on the floor. They fight into the crowd with Kennedy getting the better of things. Kennedy grabs the chair but it gets superkicked into his face to wrap things up. Just a brawl and not a match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella

Hold on, as Marella wants the referee to watch Lawler’s punches. Instead, Lawler hits a dropkick and Marella isn’t sure what to do. Santino is right back with a whip into the corner but Lawler reverses and hammers away at the ribs. A missed charge puts Lawler in trouble again though and Marella heads outside to put on Lawler’s crown. Marella promises to beat Lawler like a government dog and makes jokes about puppies. The jokes finally go on too long and Lawler hits him in the face, setting up a hiptoss. A backslide of all things gives Lawler the pin.

Rating: C-. Yeah what were you expecting here? Lawler is the definition of a feel good match that has almost no impact on anything, but he can still make his stuff look passable enough. Marella is someone who can get back to whatever he needs to be doing with a few words so Lawler pinning him is hardly some career death. Let the fans have a bit of a smile and no one gets hurt.

Post match Randy Orton runs in and takes Lawler out with an RKO. Orton has an update on his torch runner, who is now at the arena where he beat Shawn Michaels at last night. Orton: “It feels like yesterday. Wait a minute. It was yesterday.”

Mr. Kennedy says he was out there to show Shawn Michaels some respect but he got superkicked for his efforts. Kennedy looks rather disturbed by the whole thing but thinks it is because Shawn knows his career is evaporating. Shawn sees talent in Kennedy that he wished he himself had so now he is trying to hold Kennedy down. That won’t happen though because Father Time is going to catch up with him. Next time, Shawn doesn’t have to worry about Father Time, because he has to worry about Mr. Kennedy.

We recap Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle, with Finlay coming in for the save.

Vince McMahon asks William Regal and Coach about how great Survivor Series was. They talk about how scared Hornswoggle was but the mention of Finlay doesn’t sit well with Vince. Cue Carlito, who liked the tough love Vince showed Hornswoggle last night. Vince gives Carlito Hornswoggle tonight. That sounds cool.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Non-title. Hardy slugs away to start to limited success, as Umaga headbutts him out of the corner. A pair of dropkicks work a bit better for Hardy but Umaga shoulders him out of the air without much effort. The nerve hold goes on…and it stays on….and on, until Hardy gets taken into the corner. A missed charge lets Jeff have a breather but Umaga shoves him off the top and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with the nerve hold on again, followed by another nerve hold as this continues to be lame. Some chest kicks and a spinwheel kick give Umaga two and the spinning release Rock Bottom gets the same. The fourth nerve hold sets up the missed middle rope headbutt and the missed running hip attack in the corner gives Jeff a breather. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for two but the Swanton misses for a crash. The Samoan Spike is countered into a Twist of Fate to send Umaga outside, setting up the big dive. Cue Snitsky of all people to jump Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It was a long match, but come on already with that many nerve holds. Crank on the arm, pull on the leg or just hit Jeff for a bit but find out something other than the same hold four times in a match. Then after all that, we get something for the sake of Snitsky being in there again. How happy I am to see this schnook get reheated. Again. For the 14th or so time.

Post match the double beatdown is on until HHH makes the save and clears the ring.

SAVE US! Tonight.

Jeff Hardy thanks HHH, who calls himself the Good Samaritan of WWE. He’s always there to help someone in need and of course no one buys this. In reality, he doesn’t like Umaga and Snitsky trying to be the bada**** of WWE. He and Jeff Hardy have nothing in common, much like himself and Tod Grisham, who seems to like transvestites. JR: “That’ll be on WWE.com.”

Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly

Rhodes takes Holly into the corner to start and gets chopped for his efforts. Some slams have Rhodes in trouble and it’s time to kick away at him on the ropes. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Cody fights up with right hands and a Russian legsweep. The Alabama Slam is loaded up but Cody reverses into a DDT for the pin.

Post match Randy Orton comes out for an RKO to both of them. We get another update on the torch runner: now he’s in Fort Lauderdale!

JR reluctantly introduces us to a Randy Orton tribute video, at least on his last few months.

Finlay comes in to see Vince McMahon and seems a bit serious. Threats seem to be made about Hornswoggle’s safety but Vince doesn’t like surprises. Vince says he’s just as Irish as Finlay but won’t say where he was born. They’ll go have a drink after the show, with Finlay saying someone Vince’s age needs hot milk. Finlay is joking, but Vince doesn’t seem pleased.

Ric Flair is back next week. Yay.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Jillian Hall/Melina

Before the match, Jillian mocks a singer who did a duet with Lilian Garcia, even though no one likes that “Mexican talk.” Then Jillian sings what she seems to think is Spanish and it doesn’t go well. Maria flips out of a wristlock to start and hits Melina with a Bronco Buster. Melina knocks her down and hands it off to Jillian for a 450. That’s fine with Maria, who pulls Melina into the way instead. It’s off to Mickie for a neckbreaker and the Long Kiss Goodnight for the fast pin.

Carlito vs. Hornswoggle

No DQ. Carlito is nice enough to drop to his knees before the test of strength but does shove Hornswoggle down. The chase is on outside, with Hornswoggle stealing JR’s cowboy hat and handing it off to Lilian Garcia. Carlito chases him under the ring but Hornswoggle comes out the other side with a bucket of water. That earns Hornswoggle a shot to the face but here is Finlay to take Carlito out. Hornswoggle is dropped onto Carlito for the pin.

Rating: D+. Yeah you can only get so much out of something like this as they didn’t have time and it wasn’t supposed to be anything serious. Finlay getting a face turn out of Hornswoggle is already more interesting than most of what we saw with Vince and Hornswoggle so I’ll take what I can get. Now just get somewhere with it and it could be worthwhile.

Post match Hornswoggle spits apple on Carlito.

The torch runner arrives.

Here is Randy Orton for his big moment. Orton talks about how there is no one left to face him because he has beaten everyone there is to beat. Now it is time for the torch to be passed to him and here is the torch runner in the arena. Said runner is clotheslined down by someone who appears to be a short haired Chris Jericho doing a Chris Jericho pose.

The SAVE US video plays, and yes, it is in fact Chris Jericho. He confirms that he is back and is happy the people remembered him. Jericho invites us to tilt the seats back and go into overdrive because it is time for pure entertainment. Orton brings up taking Jericho out and wants to know what he is saving us from. Jericho: “Your boring personality for one.” Jericho gets to the point: he is coming for the title and nothing will ever be the same a-gain. Orton isn’t happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show is built around the Jericho/Orton stuff and Jericho is a good way to go for the next challenger. Other than that though, this wasn’t the best show, other than setting up HHH and Hardy doing whatever going forward. There are a few intriguing things coming up, but it might take a bit to make them work. Not a great show here, but they did plant some important seeds.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 12, 2007: The Fight Before The Fights

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2007
Location: Kansas Expo Center, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and the show is mostly set. Last week’s show was some weird offshoot that didn’t do much to make me want to see Survivor Series, but at least the pay per view looks good on paper. That could make for an interesting week here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a special Veterans Day video.

Here is Smackdown World Champion Batista to get things going. He is getting ready for the Undertaker inside the Cell on Sunday and he is here because of an invitation from Raw General Manager William Regal. Batista wants some competition and here is Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker seems ready to fight and we have a referee but cue Regal to interrupt, because we’re going to have a tag match.

Batista/Undertaker vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title. Undertaker starts fast with Old School on Cade but Batista tags himself in for some shoulders to the ribs. Murdoch comes in and shoulders Batista down but a spinebuster gets Batista out of trouble. Undertaker chokeslams Cade and Batista spears Murdoch. The Tombstone finishes Cade in a hurry, because the Tag Team Champions should be losing in less than three minutes to a team who doesn’t like each other.

Post match, Batista gives Murdoch a bonus Batista Bomb.

Here’s a look at Smackdown vs. Raw 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Non-title. Beth kicks her down without much trouble to start but Maria gets in some kicks of her own. That’s enough for Beth as she grabs the fisherman’s suplex for the pin.

Post match Santino Marella comes out to check on Maria. With that out of the way, Santino starts talking about how unfair it was to get beaten up by Steve Austin last week. What happened to the first amendment? Santino wants an apology from Austin, who isn’t here this week. With that not working, he’ll go over to Austin’s friend, Jim Ross. Santino mocks JR’s English abilities and wants a fight, but JR won’t get up. Jerry Lawler will though and gets in the ring to punch Santino down.

Post break, Santino challenges Lawler for later tonight. Lawler is game.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton.

We get a Mobile Exclusive (meaning something that aired on Smackdown) showing Randy Orton and William Regal meeting in the back. The Survivor Series match will now have Sweet Chin Music banned, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Hardys/Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/MVP

Matt wants MVP to start with him but gets Finlay instead. Finlay shoulders him down and hands it off to Kennedy to work on the knee as it’s weird hearing JR talk about these guys after so many months. Matt fights up with some armdrags but a distraction lets Kennedy knock him to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Matt and Kennedy not quite getting a Side Effect right. It’s still enough to bring Rey in but MVP takes him down anyway. MVP grabs a seated abdominal stretch and it’s back to Finlay for a running sitdown splash to stay on the ribs. Kennedy hits some backbreakers and MVP grabs a waistlock as the ribs are rather banged up. Rey fights up and grabs a DDT though, allowing the hot tag off to Jeff. Everything breaks down and Rey hits a 619 to MVP and Kennedy at the same time. Jeff Swantons MVP for the pin.

Rating: C+. I think you knew what you were getting here and they did it just fine. You have more than enough talent here that any combination could have pulled off a good match here and the Mysterio rib injury worked. There is a pretty solid mid to upper midcard in WWE at the moment and this was a nice showcase for some of them.

SAVE US, which now says six days, 23 hours, 33 minutes and BREAK THE WALLS in case you didn’t get the idea yet.

Here is Vince McMahon to moderate a face to face meeting between Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. They go over the stipulations for Sunday’s match, which brings up the idea of Shawn not being able to use the superkick. Shawn thinks Orton picked these rules because he is sick of the superkick. Maybe Shawn is a one trick pony, but maybe he could use a submission or something new.

All that matters to Shawn is that he remembers seeing his family after Orton put him down and that isn’t going to go away. Vince offers a distraction though and Orton gets in a cheap shot, only to have Vince block the Punt. Orton goes with the RKO instead and Shawn is left laying for a change. Nice use of a heel beatdown segment here.

Jillian Hall/Layla/Melina vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly

Michelle and Melina fight over wrist control to start, with Michelle wristdragging her into the corner. Kelly comes in and makes the mistake of dancing a bit too much, allowing Melina to drop her with a clothesline. Jillian comes in and quickly gives up a tag off to Mickie so house can be cleaned. Mickie gives Layla the Long Kiss Goodnight (kiss into a spinning kick to the head) for the pin.

Classic Survivor Series clip: The Rock wins the WWF Title at Survivor Series 1998 by going Corporate.

Snitsky likes to hurt people.

Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella

Lawler is in street clothes and JR keeps hyping up the right hand. A backdrop has Marella in early trouble and the right hands knock him up against the ropes. Marella gets in him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs but Lawler avoids a knee drop. Some right hands stagger Lawler but Marella stops to yell at JR and gets small packaged for the fast pin. Short and inoffensive.

SAVE US. AGAIN.

Before the fans came in earlier today, William Regal held a training session for Hornswoggle in the empty arena. For some reason, Hornswoggle and Great Khali (or at least Coach in a Khali wig) both get full entrances from Lilian Garcia. Coach takes the wig off but Real yells at him until he puts it back on. Someone else as Runjin Singh handles the ranting translations and we seem to be having a full match. Hornswoggle takes a distracted Coach down, knocks the wind out of him and hits the Tadpole Splash for the fast pin. This could have been funny but it was too short to go anywhere.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is looking forward to Survivor Series but tonight, he’s taking out Umaga in a lumberjack match. He’ll take out all of Umaga’s guys if he needs to and then his team will win again on Sunday.

Classic Survivor Series clip: The Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us. No.

HHH vs. Umaga

Lumberjack match with the other Survivor Series team members (and more) around the ring. Umaga starts fast and the brawl is on, with HHH being sent outside. A right hand drops Matt Striker so HHH heads back inside, only to take Umaga outside this time. HHH dives off the apron to take out Umaga and the pile. Umaga gets in a shot of his own though and we take a break.

Back with Umaga hitting the swinging release Rock Bottom to take over again. Umaga sits on HHH’s ribs and lets Finlay get in a cheap shot from the floor (as you do). HHH gets in a shot to the head and tries a slam, only to fall back in a crash. We hit the nerve hold for a bit before HHH gets pounded down into the corner. The running hip attack misses though, allowing HHH to grab a DDT. The facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree but Umaga is back with the Samoan drop. Not that HHH minds as he comes back with the spinebuster, drawing in Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was almost every HHH vs. Umaga match you’ve ever seen but with some guest stars on the floor. They couldn’t have a clean ending on the last show before Survivor Series and lumberjacks are a perfect way out. I don’t think there is a ton of drama for what is going to happen on Sunday though and there was only so much interest in seeing these two fight again here.

The big brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been obvious on Smackdown in recent weeks, Survivor Series is not going to be a deep show. There is the Undertaker vs. Batista match on top, then Shawn vs. Orton a good bit below that. Other than that, you have Team HHH vs. Team Umaga to make it feel like Survivor Series and that’s really about it for stuff that matters. This wasn’t exactly a great go home show, but they did a nice enough job of hitting the bigger stuff on Sunday’s card. Now just get through Survivor Series and let us get on to something more traditional, as that could do Raw and Smackdown some good.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 5, 2007: A Wacky Side Trip With Special Appearances

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,133
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and now that the Smackdown main event has been announced, you have to expect the Raw counterpart will be set up soon. The big story tonight is a one night reunion of D-Generation X, as HHH needs some help deal with Randy Orton and Umaga. Sounds Survivor Seriesish to me. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Fabulous Moolah.

Opening sequence.

Here is D-Generation X to get things going. After a fairly long entrance, HHH says this is for one night only and asks if we’re ready. The catchphrase is loaded up but a crotch chopping Hornswoggle interrupts. HHH: “Well that’s…different.” HHH tells him to get back under the ring but Hornswoggle doesn’t listen. Shawn is asked for a run sheet and, after going through all of his merchandise, finds said sheet in his boot (Shawn: “In case I forget what I’m supposed to do.”).

The sheet says DX PROMO in segment one at 9PM (HHH: “East coast time.”) and Hornswoggle isn’t on until the short segment. Hornswoggle then armdrags Shawn into an armscissors (with HHH pointing out that it is the SHORT armscissors). Shawn: “I’m going to make a judgment call here: for tonight, he’s in.”. Hornswoggle doesn’t want to go under the ring because there’s a monster under there.

Shawn goes to look….and is pulled under. He comes back up with worms in his mouth so here is the Boogeyman. HHH hands him a mic, with Boogeyman saying “I’M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I’M COMING TO…..see if I can join DX.” Shawn makes another executive decision and lets Boogeyman in again so here is Great Khali as a bonus. Shawn: “To keep me from turning into a human Slim Jim, let’s pretend he isn’t here and move on.” HHH goes into an Indian impression that would get him thrown off the air today but now it’s Coach interrupting.

HHH isn’t having this and tells Runjin Singh what Coach said about Khali earlier. Shawn, who CAN’T LIE, backs HHH up and Khali chases Coach to the floor. Everyone else leaves, with Shawn saying he doesn’t know who writes this anymore but this is the worst thing he’s seen since that Katie Vick thing. HHH: “I don’t think anyone writes this crap. They’re on strike.” Catchphrases are hit to wrap up the wackiness.

Actor Luke Perry is here. There are some kids around him, and if one of those is his son, we have seen the wrestling debut of the future Jungle Boy.

We look back at Kelly Kelly winning last week’s Halloween battle royal and getting destroyed by Beth Phoenix after.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title and Phoenix grabs a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin in less than a minute. Well so much for Kelly for the time being, which is how it should go in this situation.

Santino Marella knows that Steve Austin will be here tonight and mocks Austin’s acting abilities. He even throws in a paper bag, so Austin can act his way out of it.

Carlito vs. Joey Munoz

Hold on though as Carlito says he isn’t wrestling so here is a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Joey Munoz

Pumphandle slam finishes Munoz in about thirty seconds.

Post match Snitsky kicks Carlito in the face and gives him the pumphandle slam too. Time for another Snitsky push it seems.

We get a Jeff Hardy video set to Rooftops by Lostprophets. This is actually on Peacock despite it being a music video and the Lostprophets singer being a monster. That aside, this is a heck of a video, with the lyrics about screaming and dropping bombs being timed to shots of fans screaming for Hardy and Swantons. You can tell something big is coming for him and that is a very good idea. Ignore Jerry Lawler being heard asking “how long is it” after the video starts.

For Survivor Series: Team HHH (HHH/CM Punk/Kane/Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy) vs. Team Umaga (Umaga/MVP/Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/Big Daddy V).

Mr. Kennedy/Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio/Jeff Hardy

JR dubs Hardy and Mysterio as the WWE Air Force. Hardy and Finlay go to the mat to start until a Kennedy distraction lets Finlay hit a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Mysterio hitting a springboard crossbody on Kennedy, only to have him run Mysterio over.

It’s Finlay coming back in to go after the knee, including a half crab. The legdrop onto the knee makes it worse and Kennedy adds a right hand for two. Mysterio is back with something like a DDT, allowing the hot tag off to Hardy to clean house. The Whisper in the Wind hits Kennedy but Finlay makes the save. Rey 619s Finlay to the floor, leaving Hardy to hit the Swanton for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard midcard tag match here with the wrestlers involved being good enough to make almost anything work. Mysterio vs. Finlay is set up for a blowoff on Friday while Hardy vs. Kennedy seems to have run its course. That being said, throw in the video package before the match and it is hard to imagine they are waiting much longer on giving Hardy the main event push, which seems to have been set up for a few weeks now.

Maria tries to tell Santino Marella that Steve Austin is here but he doesn’t buy it.

Here are Maria and Santino Marella for a chat. Santino mocks the Condemned, then he mocks the Condemned’s director, then he mocks the Condemned again, then Steve Austin comes out. Austin corrects Santino’s errors in his catchphrases and then asks about the Condemned again. Santino really did hate the movie and turns down a beer, saying he would rather have a glass of red wine. Austin hands him a copy of the Condemned but Santino can’t watch it again.

There’s the Stunner, allowing Austin to put the DVD in Santino’s mouth. Austin thinks Santino is thirsty and goes to the back before coming out driving a beer truck. Santino gets sprayed down and, despite her begging, so does Maria. Beer is consumed to wrap up a segment that wasn’t funny and felt pretty out of character for Austin. I know he needs to promote a DVD, but that just doesn’t feel like an Austin thing.

SAVE US!

Vince McMahon is in the back with Hornswoggle and takes the blame for the trouble Hornswoggle has had with Jonathan Coachman. McMahon even has a way for Hornswoggle to prove himself at Survivor Series…..when he faces Great Khali.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is in the back and has been asked to talk because they need to fill in time while Steve Austin’s mess is cleaned up. Shawn Michaels comes in to say he has it set, so here are the DX Dancers….which is Big Dick Johnson. HHH isn’t impressed but Shawn says he’s a father of two so the only cool thing he knows is Dora the Explorer. Don’t worry though as HHH has The Girls Next Door (from a Playboy reality show, meaning Shawn leaves with his eyes covered). Dancing ensues and it’s very strange to see HHH…..I guess it’s dancing but I’m not sure.

Lance Cade sends Mickie James away for talking to Trevor Murdoch.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Cody Rhodes

Ignore Lilian Garcia saying Lance Cade (at ringside) is in the match by mistake. Hardcore Holly is here too and Rhodes is sent to the apron to start, where he gets in a shoulder to the ribs. Murdoch breaks that up and takes him down for a chinlock as Lawler and JR make as many redneck jokes as they can. Rhodes fights up and hits a bulldog into a knee drop for two but Cade’s distraction fails. Murdoch misses a charge into the corner though and Rhodes grabs a sunset flip for the pin. Not much to this one but Rhodes wins again.

Tribute video to Fabulous Moolah. This includes a rundown of her career highlights, such as becoming the first woman to wrestle in Madison Square Garden. I guess she wrestled herself that night.

Jim Duggan/Super Crazy vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Before the match, Duggan and Crazy chant SI/HO over and over. Haas knocks Crazy over to start and hits a slam before handing it off to Benjamin. More slamming abounds as Duggan continues to play cheerleader on the apron. Benjamin knocks Duggan off the apron but Crazy grabs a rollup (with trunks) for the pin. Duggan never tagged in but he does pat Crazy on the head after the win.

Umaga/Randy Orton vs. D-Generation X

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Orton being sent into the announcers’ table before being thrown inside. Umaga comes in to miss a sitdown splash on Michaels, allowing HHH to grab a surprisingly effective DDT. HHH gets knocked outside though and we take a break. Back with Umaga missing a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Orton. That’s fine with HHH, who drops Orton almost immediately.

Michaels comes back in for the usual comeback, including the forearm and top rope elbow. Umaga isn’t having that and runs Shawn over, allowing Orton to bring Umaga in for real. Some right hands keep Shawn down in the corner and it’s back to Orton for a dropkick. The circle stomp sets up the running Umaga splash and we’re off to the nerve hold.

The middle rope headbutt misses and an enziguri to the shoulder (not sure that’s how that works) allows the hot tag back to HHH. Everything breaks down and Umaga saves Orton from the Pedigree with the Spike, setting up the running hip attack in the corner. The RKO is countered with a shove into Umaga though and Shawn comes in for a quick superkick to pin Orton.

Rating: C+. Much like the other tag match, they played the formula here and it still works, as everyone involved can do this style rather well. Shawn vs. Orton II should be a good showdown at Survivor Series, while Umaga vs. HHH at least has the team format to keep things a little more fresh. The DX reunion was good for a night, but I don’t need to see it again going forward.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what this show was but it didn’t exactly work. Maybe it is due to Survivor Series coming up so soon, but this felt like a weird side trip rather than a show designed to help set up the pay per view. There were so many short matches that didn’t add much and it was a weird night all around. The DX reunion was fun but the Austin cameo fell pretty flat, leaving this as a not very appealing two hours. Much more strange than good this week and that isn’t a positive thing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 29, 2007: Reboot The Computre

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and on the way to Survivor Series, which means things can get a bit more back to normal around here. The big Raw story was that Randy Orton retained the WWE Title over Shawn Michaels after getting himself disqualified, which means we are probably heading for a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Divas Battle Royal

Victoria, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly, Brooke, Melina, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool

Most of the entrances are edited off of Peacock (music I’m assuming) and they’re all in Halloween costumes here. Layla (cop) is eliminated first as Victoria rolls wild in her sumo (read as fat) suit. The bottom rope Banzai drop crushes Brooke (jungle girl) to get rid of her and Michelle tosses Jillian (Brittney Spears), only to have Melina eliminate Michelle (Eve).

Melina (showgirl) and Mickie (Native American warrior princess) go to the apron with Melina eliminating both of them at once. Torrie Wilson uses her football helmet to run Victoria over as JR tries to find out if Victoria is in her suit alone. Kelly (gangsta) dumps out both Torrie (Philadelphia Eagle) and Victoria for the win.

Rating: D. What were you really expecting here? There was no reason for the match to take place other than to have the women out there in their outfits, which we had seen the night before at the pay per view. Kelly winning is a bit of a surprise, but she is the kind of woman that WWE would love to push to the moon if she can do anything in the ring at the moment.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to lay Kelly out.

We look at Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels from last night.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn is thankful to everyone who voted for him last night but he didn’t win the WWE Title. He has heard a lot of people talking about their grapefruits, but HBShizzle is going to be honest with you: you have to have pinpoint accuracy to hit his. What maters is that he won the match though, and now he his getting a rematch. He wants it tonight, but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

McMahon knows that people want to see him be the champion again and Vince seems to like the idea too. He knows what Shawn really wants is revenge though because, despite that Bible reading, Shawn is a rotten man. Shawn admits that he spent four years wanting revenge, which he swore he would never do when he went home in 2002.

Now he wants to hurt Randy Orton and take him out, so does he have his rematch or not? Vince says Survivor Series is an appropriate name, and says the match is on without saying what he means. Then Shawn teases a superkick to Vince, who falls down in fear. Kind of an odd segment but more to come I’m sure.

You can vote for the Diva Search winners!

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Holly and Shelton start things off with Benjamin taking him down for some shots to the head. It’s off to Haas, who gets chopped rather loudly before the villains take over again without much trouble. Holly gets in another shot though and the hot tag brings in Cody, who comes in off the top with a clothesline. Cody blocks Haas’ DDT and hits one of his own for the fast pin. Holly still doesn’t seem convinced.

Candice Michelle has broken her collar bone in a horrific injury. It is so bad that we look at it again just so you don’t forget about the whole thing.

Beth Phoenix cuts off Todd Grisham and says she has no regrets over what she did to Candice Michelle last week. Then this week, the Divas were out there in their costumes because no one takes this stuff seriously. Candice can go back in Wisconsin, knowing that she was destroyed by the Glamazon.

Trevor Murdoch is reading the 500th issue of WWE Magazine when Mickie James comes up. She thanks him for not letting Lance Cade clothesline her last week, but Murdoch doesn’t like seeing an innocent girl get hurt. Mickie: “I’m not that innocent.” Cade comes up and, after Mickie leaves, gets on Murdoch for not having his head in the game.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and recaps Vince’s issues with HHH and Shawn Michaels. Vince says his issues with HHH is personal, which brings him to Hornswoggle. Regal brings Hornswoggle in and leaves Vince to talk about how he hasn’t been around Hornswoggle enough. Tonight, Hornswoggle has to face Coach and Vince wants the family honor upheld. Hornswoggle needs to learn how to deal with victory, because it is his family’s birthright. If he is a McMahon, he needs to start to hate and he needs to start tonight. Hornswoggle starts grunting and shouts as he runs off.

SAVE US!

Hornswoggle vs. Jonathan Coachman

Hold on though as we need a guest referee, which brings out Mick Foley. Coach charges but Foley gets in his way, allowing Hornswoggle to run around a bit. Hornswoggle goes to the leg but Coach grabs him by the beard. That’s broken up as well and Hornswoggle knocks him down, only to miss the bottom rope elbow. Coach hits Foley out of frustration and grabs a chair, only to have Foley knock him down. Hornswoggle has his own Mr. Socko and grabs Coach between the leg, allowing Foley to add a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t good but at the end of the day, what are you expecting here? They played up the comedy and had Foley here to even things up a bit. You don’t need to do anything beyond the obvious here and it was perfectly fine, even if the match was barely there aside from the comedy stuff.

HHH, in a rather hideous shirt, is almost depressed by Todd Grisham’s pep talk before the handicap match against Umaga and Randy Orton tonight. The odds are against him but he has an ace up his sleeve, so if he goes down, they’re coming with him. They’re two of the worst in the game, but he is the Game.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

Trevor Murdoch and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hits a quick crossbody for two but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Cade sends him to the apron, with London coming back in with a springboard crossbody. A Murdoch distraction lets Cade hit his sitout spinebuster for the fast pin.

Post match the Highlanders come in and beat down London and Kendrick before glaring at Cade and Murdoch.

Jeff Hardy/DH Smith vs. Carlito/Mr. Kennedy

Smith is being thrown into the deep pretty quickly. Hardy and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy grabbing a headlock. That earns him a heck of a clothesline but Kennedy pulls Hardy into the corner so Carlito can come in. Some shoulders to the ribs don’t do much for Carlito as Hardy kicks him down and grabs his leg trap cradle for two. Smith comes in and gets chopped in the corner, only to come back with a clothesline to send Carlito outside. Kennedy joins him thanks to Hardy and the good guys pose as we take a break.

Back with Smith fighting out of an Indian Deathlock but getting pulled back into the corner so Kennedy can stay on the leg. Kennedy draws in Hardy to get in a few more leg shots because he knows how to villain. Smith manages an enziguri though and the hot tag brings Hardy in to start cleaning house. The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Carlito with Kennedy having to make the save. Smith drops Kennedy though and it’s the Twist of Fate into the Swanton to finish Carlito.

Rating: C. Pretty basic tag formula here but they have thrown Smith straight into the middle of the midcard and he hasn’t looked bad so far. Granted I don’t know how far you’re going to go with the name DH Smith but playing into the British Bulldog relation and then giving him some wins is a good way to start. Now do something with it, as you can always use some fresh blood.

Here is Santino Marella for a chat. He wants to make a formal complaint to the WWE travel department, who screwed up and prevented him from showing up and giving Steve Austin a piece of his mind. At least his in-flight movie wasn’t the Condemned! Cue Steve Austin…..’s music, as Marella pops up on screen doing an Austin impression and offering to beat up Marella with a can of the a** whip.

Cue Maria to say that Austin (originally described as “he”, prompting Santino to tell her to not use pronouns) is going to be here next week (which receives NO reaction in an odd moment). Marella accuses her of being on internet chat sites again, because the only place you’ll see Austin is on the cover of the Condemned in the discount bin at the gas station.

Here are the Diva Search finalists. Eve wins and is rather happy. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have this on a show about how the viewers had control?

SAVE US, now with “19_LAUNCH” and “BREAK THE CODE” visible.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title. HHH and Umaga start things off but an Orton distraction means HHH has to split his time. A jumping clothesline drops Umaga but he’s right back with some right hands in the corner. Umaga hits the Samoan drop on HHH and the double teaming is on….so here is Shawn Michaels for the DQ and the save.

HHH and Shawn clean house, likely setting up a tag match next week.

We cut to Vince McMahon and William Regal in the back, with Vince saying DX is back next week for one night only.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a lame way to come off a pretty good pay per view, though Survivor Series in just a few weeks should be an upgrade. There wasn’t much to see on the show, as they didn’t have anything noteworthy in the ring and McMahon going after HHH feels a bit tired. Next week looks stacked though so maybe this is just a bad one off week. At least I hope it is.

 

 

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