Monday Night Raw – March 24, 2008: Get To It Already

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 24, 2008
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for Wrestlemania and that means we aren’t likely to see much of anything this week. The midcard will likely get some focus and the triple threat will probably do some staring, but other than that, I’m not sure how much of a risk WWE wants to put the starts into this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how everything is coming to this Sunday when everything that we have gone through leads to one match. After everything else, Cena is looking pretty good to take the WWE Title….and here is Big Show to interrupt. Show promises to beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. at Wrestlemania, which will replace Hogan slamming Andre as the most iconic moment in WWE history.

Cue JBL to say his match will be memorable because there are no rules, meaning he can do anything he wants to Finlay. Cena: “I wasn’t listening to anything you said. I was thinking about how I beat your a** at Wrestlemania XXI.” Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, saying that some people have predictions about Wrestlemania, but no one thinks he is retaining the title. He feeds off of that doubt, and that is what people will be talking about after Wrestlemania.

Now it’s Umaga interrupting and actually taking the mic from Orton. Umaga says Batista and rants a lot until Cena says he is fluent in Samoan. Cena says Umaga talked about Orton being obsessed with boy bands but here is HHH to interrupt. HHH won’t say they’re wrong with everything they’re talking about, but Wrestlemania is about the WWE Title. It’s a good thing Wrestlemania is in an open air stadium because they would blow the roof off otherwise. Arguing ensues and here is William Regal to make the eight man No DQ main event, with Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair joining the good guys.

MVP/Carlito vs. CM Punk/Chris Jericho

MVP and Punk get things going with Punk quickly taking over and handing it off to Jericho. Carlito comes in as well and gets draped ribs first over the top as we take a break. Back with Jericho hitting the running crotch attack to Carlito but it’s too early for the Lionsault. Instead Jericho tries the Walls on an invading MVP but gets sent to the floor.

Back in and the double arm crank sets up a neckbreaker to give Carlito two. MVP grabs a neck crank but misses the running boot in the corner. It’s back to Punk to clean house as everything breaks down. Jericho comes in to try an enziguri but hits Punk by mistake, allowing MVP to grab the pin.

Rating: C. Take some people in the Money in the Bank ladder match, put them in a tag match and let them fight each other before the big match on Sunday. I’m not sure how much of an impact this is going to have, but how many other ways are there to build towards a ladder match? It also helps when you have this kind of talent in there, so the match was at least decent.

Mr. Kennedy promises to win Money In The Bank.

Video on Ric Flair, set to Leave The Memories Alone by Fuel.

Video on Big Show’s training regimen for his match with Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Great Khali vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly goes after him to start but gets caught with the usual. The chokebomb finishes for Khali without much difficulty.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat. He isn’t sure if he had Vince McMahon beat last week or not because Shawn Michaels had to interfere, despite Flair asking him not to. As of last week, Flair is losing respect for Shawn because he doesn’t think Shawn respects him. Flair invites Shawn out here right now, so here he is. Shawn is sorry to hear what Flair thinks, but Shawn could never lose respect for him.

The Flair that Shawn knows would always have backup and no matter what happens, Flair will always be the greatest of all time. Flair: “SHUT UP!” Flair goes on a rant about how he wants to prove he still has it….and whips out the NWA World Title. He first won the title in 1981 and if Shawn was 20 years younger, Shawn would have challenged him for it. Now it is 2008 and Flair has picked Shawn to show that he still has it one more time. Shawn promises to give him everything he has and on Sunday, Flair is getting in the ring with Mr. Wrestlemania.

That’s what Flair wants, but Shawn stops before leaving. Shawn talks about Old Yeller, and on Sunday, he is taking Flair out back and putting him out of his misery. That is WAY too far for Flair, who throws down the title and slaps Shawn in the face. Flair wants him to Old Yeller him right now, but Shawn promises to put Flair out of his misery and leaves. That is a direction for this story to go a long time before the match, but it is a different aspect to explore.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. training to face Big Show.

We look at Big Show on Late Night With Conan O’Brien.

Maria vs. Melina

Beth Phoenix is here with Melina and trips Maria early on. That brings out Ashley to even things up, followed by Santino Marella. Jerry Lawler is so sick of Santino that he gets inside too and it’s six person tag time, as per William Regal.

Maria/Ashley/Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella/Melina/Beth Phoenix

We ring the bell and take a break (erg) before coming back with Lawler punching Santino out of the air. A backdrop and dropkick have Santino in more trouble so it’s off to Melina vs. Ashley. That doesn’t last long as Maria comes in for a headscissors but she walks into a spinebuster. Maria slaps Santino as the guys fight to the floor. Phoenix chop blocks Maria down and Lawler sends Santino back in, where he pins Maria in a hurry. This was kind of a weird mess.

HHH comes up to John Cena and promises to win the title. Cena doesn’t think so, because he never lost the title and wants it back.

John Legend is playing America the Beautiful at Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Video on the Raw World Title match at Wrestlemania.

Randy Orton/JBL/Umaga/Big Show vs. John Cena/Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair/HHH

Michaels and Orton get things going with Orton taking him into the corner for some right hands. The armbar goes on but here is Finlay to beat up JBL and brawl with him up the aisle. Back with Umaga beating up Shawn as this is now 4-3. The running hip attack hits Shawn in the corner but here is Batista to take Umaga out in the aisle.

They fight to the back as well, leaving Show to beat up the good guys. House is cleaned but Show doesn’t think much of Orton tagging himself in. That means a chokeslam to Orton but HHH and Cena get in a fight on the floor. Flair goes for the Figure Four on Orton so Shawn punches him out. That earns Shawn a low blow and Flair Figure Fours Orton for the tap.

Rating: C. Much like the other tag match, there was nothing else to be done here other than throw people into a big match where no one is in there too long but it still feels big. In other words, it’s the last match on this show before Wrestlemania and this was about as good as it could have gone. If you ignore Flair beating the World Champion of course.

Overall Rating: C. There isn’t much that you can do here as the Wrestlemania card is all set up and WWE didn’t want to mess with anything. What matters is having me want to see Wrestlemania more than I did coming in and that’s only kind of the case. It’s a very skippable week, but none of that is going to matter in six days.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 26, 2023: The Most Consistent Wrestling Show Of The Week

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

The fallout from Hard To Kill continues and we are also on the way to No Surrender. The latter means that we need a new #1 contender and we will have one by the end of the night due to a six way elimination match. Other than that, Bully Ray now seems to have to deal with Mickie James and possibly Frankie Kazarian so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Mike Jackson vs. Trey Miguel

Jackson, 73 years old, is challenging and gets wristlocked down to start. Some running shoulders and a hiptoss have Miguel down for a change but Miguel punches him in the face. A hammerlock slam puts Jackson down but he avoids the springboard moonsault. An atomic drop sends Jackson outside, where he is fine enough to post Miguel. Back in and Jackson stays on the arm but takes too long with Oldest School, allowing Miguel to pull him down. The Lightning Spiral finishes for Miguel at 5:58.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t terrible by any means and factoring in Jackson’s age, it was downright impressive. Having someone who was nearly a wrestler’s normal retirement age over thirty years ago in there and looking acceptable is remarkable. There was no way he was winning the title here, but for a cool novelty, this was fun.

Post match Miguel goes to get the spray paint but finds Crazzy Steve instead. Steve has TREY written all over himself and pulls out his own spray paint to spray Trey’s logo on his chest. Miguel runs, partially because Black Taurus comes out as well.

Josh Alexander is ready to face anyone who wins tonight. Steve Maclin comes in to say that he’s coming for whoever comes out with the title.

Good Hands vs. Kushida/Kevin Knight

Skyler and Knight trade wrist control to start before it’s off to Kushida to stay on Skyler’s arm. A blind tag brings in Hotch though and a German suplex into a rollup gets two on Kushida. That just means Kushida gets to hit them in the face, allowing the tag off to Knight. Everything breaks down and Knight dropkicks Hotch off of Kushida’s shoulders, setting up the Hoverboard Lock to give Kushida the win at 4:00.

Rating: C. I’ve heard a good bit about Knight before but haven’t seen much of him in the ring. Putting him with Kushida is always a good idea though and having them beat up on Bully Ray’s goons worked. It was just a quick match to have Kushida and Knight get a win on TV and that was enough of a success.

Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal meet Shaw’s mystery partner, leaving Vidal VERY happy.

Mickie James wants to know what was up with Jordynne Grace saving her last week. Grace says she was protecting her investment, meaning her rematch. Seems cool with James.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Death Dollz vs. Gisele Shaw/Tara

The Dollz are defending and have Rosemary in their corner to counter Jai Vidal. If nothing else, we get Tara’s BROKEN BROKEN entrance again. Tara and Taya start things off with a handshake but Shaw tags herself in before anything can happen. The fans are NOT pleased but Taya sending Shaw into the corner for some hip attacks work a bit better for them. Jessicka comes in and gets hammered down by Shaw.

The running uppercut puts Jessicka down again but she runs Shaw over, allowing the hot tag to Taya. Rosemary takes Vidal out, leaving Shaw to STILL not bring Tara in. Instead Tara comes in and gets yelled at by Shaw, who gets taken out by the Widow’s Peak. Jessicka comes in with the Sick Driver to retain at 6:12.

Rating: C+. This was all about the storytelling as Shaw is now fully embracing being the worst partner in the world. That is a story to tell as eventually she will find the right partner and could make for a good pairing. For now though, Tara was just there to get annoyed and then hit the Widow’s Peak. Another fine step forward in a bigger story.

Taylor Wilde consults tarot cards to find out she will be seeing Killer Kelly again.

Dave LaGreca is thankful for being part of Impact when Bully Ray comes in. He wants to know why he is the only former World Champion not in the #1 contenders match. Santino Marella says Ray lost at Hard To Kill and Ray, who does like Marella, threatens him if he doesn’t get it. LaGreca knows that only Tommy Dreamer can help this.

Tasha Steelz says she didn’t get pinned by Mickie James in a singles match. This isn’t working though, any of it. Steelz walks out on the interview, plus Savannah Evans.

Major Players vs. Bullet Club

Cardona and Bey trade shoulders to start before Bey armdrags him into an armbar. The Club cleans house with the rapid fire strikes but a Cardona distraction lets Myers deck Bey. Cardona drops a knee for two and Myers grabs a front facelock. Bey gets in a whip into the corner though and the double tag brings in Austin and Cardona. Everything breaks down and the Reboot hits Bey, setting up Myers’ top rope elbow for two. The assisted Art of Finesse is broken up so Austin kicks Cardona in the face, setting up a quick rollup for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: C+. There was some miscommunication in there between the Major Players and that could be a bad sign for the team’s future. I could see the team splitting down the line as the specter of WWE always looms over someone like Cardona. The Bullet Club has absolutely found its niche as the fast moving pair of smaller guys and they looked rather good in a win here.

Post match here is Joe Hendry to accept Matt Cardona’s challenge for a Digital Media Title match. Cardona is the original Internet Champion but lately, Cardona must feel a bit left out. That’s why Hendry has written him a son, with a focus on Cardona wanting to play with action figures instead of spending, ahem, quality time with his wife. Throw in the line “You’re the king of the indies and now you’re rich, but to me you’ll always be Edge’s b****” and Cardona is really not pleased. Hendry’s stuff continues to be awesome.

Post break Myers and Cardona come up to Moose and promise to get rid of Hendry. End of scene.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Sheldon Jean

Gresham headlocks him down to start before tripping Jean down and cranking on the leg. Back up and Jean kicks him in the face, earning a dropkick to the knee. Gresham cranks the knee again and hits a sliding forearm for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C. Give Gresham a warm body to work with and let him hack it to pieces one limb at a time. That is a formula that is going to work as Gresham knows how to do that style as well as anyone going right now. He made it look easy here and putting something like that on TV for a few weeks is a good way to remind fans that this is a wrestling show.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose vs. Rhino vs. Rich Swann vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan vs. Chris Sabin

Elimination rules and the winner gets a World Title shot at No Surrender. The brawl starts fast and Rhino and Moore are left alone in the ring for an exchange of shoulders. Sabin comes in to shoulder Rhino down but he walks into a suplex from Callihan. It’s Sabin back up with a dive to the floor onto Moose and Swann snaps off a running hurricanrana to Edwards. Swann’s running flip dive off the apron takes down Moose and Edwards on the floor.

Back in and Edwards hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on Swann, leaving Rhino to hit some running shoulders to Callihan in the corner. Moose spears Rhino though, allowing Callihan to get the elimination at 4:32. We take a break and come back with Moose cleaning house, including dropkicking Swann and Sabin on the top at the same time. Sabin takes Moose down with a tornado DDT and does the same to Edwards.

Callihan is back in to kick away at Swann and Sabin but Swann bulldogs Callihan/kicks Edwards for a double knockdown. Swann’s middle rope splash gets two on Callihan but Edwards powerbombs Swann onto Sabin for two more. The Boston Knee Party is loaded up but here is PCO to go after Edwards. The distraction lets Sabin roll Edwards up for the pin at 13:25. Moose comes back in to Rock Bottom Sabin for two and shrugs off the tornado DDT. The spear finishes Sabin at 15:31 and we’re down to three.

We take another break and come back with a three way slugout with Swann getting the better of things until Moose takes out his leg. Moose pounds on the leg but Swann grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 23:18. Cue the Design to tell Callihan to take out Swann so Callihan goes after the bad knee. Swann rolls him up to escape so Callihan powerbombs him into another leglock. With that broken up, Swann kicks him in the head a few times, setting up the middle rope 450 for the pin and the title shot at 26:27.

Rating: B-. Swann going forward to the title shot is a good way to go, as he is credible enough to give Alexander a threat but not likely to take the title. They have to find someone to keep the challenger spot warm for Steve Maclin, who seems likely to be the next champion. They kept the action moving here and making it elimination rules was the best thing they could have gone.

Post match Swann tries to talk sense into Callihan but gets beaten down for his efforts. Yuyu Uemura comes in for a failed save attempt so Josh Alexander and Frankie Kazarian run in for the real save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As has been the case for a good while now, Impact continues to shine and look like one of the best weekly wrestling shows around. It shows you just how far the company has come and it is great to see them turning into such a fun show. Normally I would say to keep it going, but they have been doing it for such a long time now that it’s not even about maintaining momentum anymore. Good show here and I want to see where this is going, as is usual these days.

Results
Trey Miguel b. Mike Jackson – Lightning Spiral
Kushida/Kevin Knight b. Good Hands – Hoverboard Lock to Hotch
Death Dollz b. Gisele Shaw/Tara – Sick Driver to Shaw
Bullet Club b. Major Players – Rollup to Cardona
Jonathan Gresham b. Sheldon Jean – Sliding forearm
Rich Swann won a six way elimination match last eliminating Sami Callihan

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 17, 2008: All Of Them

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2008
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still under special guest control as HHH is running things this week. This time around, that means John Cena and Randy Orton are going to be facing the entire roster, which probably isn’t going to go as described. At least it sounds different though and I’ll take that over more of the same. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel, with special guest…..the Intercontinental Title! Last week he won the title for the record setting eighth time, breaking the record of seven, which he held too of course. As for a human guest, here is Big Show, who also set a record for most times seeing a clip of someone punching him in the face. We look at Show tossing Floyd Mayweather Jr. over the top and onto his entourage last week, which Show calls a real highlight.

Show talks about how everyone knows Jericho is better in the ring than Mayweather and outweighs him by 50lbs, but Jericho couldn’t last two minutes with Show either. Jericho doesn’t think much of that but Show calls him WWE’s version of Mayweather: small, loud and in over his head. The challenge is thrown out for a title match tonight and, after an insult to his singing, Jericho is in. They kept this quick and that’s a good thing for a simple announcement.

Earlier today, Vince McMahon listed off a bunch of his accomplishments, but thinks ending Ric Flair’s career tonight would be even better. That’s why tonight, it’s Vince vs. Flair.

CM Punk vs. Carlito

Carlito starts fast and sends him outside before hitting a basement dropkick in the corner. A kick to the head gives Carlito two and we hit the double arm crank. Punk fights up and tries the springboard clothesline, which is dropkicked out of the air instead. The GTS attempt is countered as well and Carlito gets two off a neckbreaker. Back up and Punk manages a kick to the face before catching a springboarding Carlito in the GTS for the pin.

Rating: C. This was, again, short and to the point, with Carlito taking over to start so Punk could make the comeback and win. That’s all you need to do at times as they gave the fans a popular star getting a victory. Perfectly watchable match that got two of the Money In The Bank stars in the ring before Wrestlemania.

Snoop Dogg is ready for Bunnymania and can’t bring himself to follow Santino Marella’s cue cards about how Maria shouldn’t have posed for Playboy.

Paul London and Brian Kendrick are in the ring when William Regal introduces their opponent, who will represent Raw at Wrestlemania.

Umaga vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Umaga doesn’t waste time to start and hits a double Samoan drop. London gets hit with the running hip attack in the corner but Kendrick rolls away before another can hit. The Samoan Spike finishes London fast as Kendrick seemed to walk off. I’d like to believe London and Kendrick have more, but they’ve been treated as nothing for months now.

William Regal and HHH are in the back, with HHH saying Randy Orton and John Cena can’t walk out on each other tonight. If Cena walks out, he’s out of the Wrestlemania match and if Orton walks out, he’s stripped of the title and Cena and HHH can fight over it instead. Regal asks why HHH doesn’t just make himself champion, but HHH say she wants to earn it.

We look at HHH getting hurt last year and missing Wrestlemania as a result. Now he’s back and wants the title again.

We look at Vince McMahon receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. And yes, he thanked himself.

Shawn Michaels is in the back and Ric Flair wants to know why he’s here. Flair thinks Shawn is here because he doesn’t want Vince McMahon to end Flair’s career tonight. He doesn’t want Shawn getting involved tonight because Vince has NO CHANCE of winning.

We see Finlay’s promo from Smackdown, where he says there are no words for what he is going to do to JBL at Wrestlemania.

Here is JBL for a match, but first he says that Finlay isn’t here due to Hornswoggle dealing with complications. Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, he is going to do something for the Irish (who made him rich) so he has found the second toughest Irishman in WWE: Colin Delaney!

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Colin Delaney

Some clotheslines from JBL set up the Clothesline From JBL for the fast pin.

Post match JBL says at Wrestlemania, Irish need not apply.

We recap Vince McMahon ordering that Ric Flair has to retire the next time he loses a match.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight so they go straight to the floor with Flair hammering away. They take it into the crowd but Vince manages to get it back to ringside for a posting. There’s a monitor to Flair’s head and yes, he is bleeding believe it or not. Vince hammers away and takes him back inside for two as JR is getting more than a bit over the top.

A trashcan, kendo stick and chair shot get two each, with Shawn Michaels coming in to pull the referee out at two. Shawn is immediately ejected (Why?) so Vince grabs a table. That takes too long though and Flair gets in some low blows. Vince is put on the table instead and a top rope splash through it gives Flair the win to stay alive.

Rating: C-. This felt like the same kind of street fight you usually see in WWE and of course Flair wasn’t going to lose less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania. A lot of this whole story has been about Flair getting to do something one more time and that includes beating up Vince. The match wasn’t any good, but Vince getting beaten up is always worth a glance.

Video on John Cena returning from injury early for the chance to go to Wrestlemania.

Jared from Subway is here and he gives Jerry Lawler a sandwich and drink.

Maria/Candice Michelle vs. Jillian Hall/Victoria

Before the match, Maria’s Playboy cover is unveiled over the Titantron. Cue Santino Marella to join commentary as Jillian jumps Maria to start. An enziguri gets Maria out of trouble and Candice comes in to kick Victoria down for two. Jillian makes a save but misses a 450, allowing Candice to hit an Unprettier for the fast pin.

Post match Santino goes on a rant, throws the drink in Lawler’s face and steals the sandwich. Ok then.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. is ready for Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho is defending and gets kicked in the face to start. Jericho manages a few shots of his own and knocks Show over the top, only to get swung into the barricade. Back in and Show misses a Vader Bomb, allowing Jericho to dropkick him down. The Lionsault gets two so Jericho uses the belt for the fast DQ.

Rating: D+. What was that? They barely did anything before the lame ending, which was about the only way they had out of something like this. That being said, was there no one else they could put out there against Show besides the new Intercontinental Champion? That’s kind of an out there way of thinking and I really don’t get why Jericho was necessary here.

Post match Big Show knocks Jericho silly with one right hand. Ah, that’s what that was.

Kim Kardashian reads a script about Wrestlemania and ignores Big Dick Johnson.

Video on Randy Orton.

John Cena comes in to see Randy Orton, with the latter saying they should take a dive against the roster. Cena says no chance so Orton tries threatening him. That just makes Cena bring up their history and we get the big RAH RAH speech. HHH pops in to say it’s elimination rules, but he’s pulling for them.

John Cena/Randy Orton vs. Raw Roster

This is billed as 17-2, though outside of Umaga and JBL, it’s a bunch of lower level guys. Cena hammers on Snitsky to start but gets clotheslined down as the Roster takes up two full sides of the apron. Santino Marella comes in and misses a headbutt, allowing Cena to roll him up for a quick elimination. Trevor Murdoch is in next for a neckbreaker but Cena grabs a very fast STFU for the tap.

Cena brings Orton in for the RKO to get rid of Lance Cade even faster but Umaga runs both of them over as we take a break. Back with JBL taking Orton down for two as Super Crazy was eliminated at some point during the commercial. Cody Rhodes comes in to stomp away and it’s off to Paul Burchill for more of the same. The Roster takes turns beating on Orton, with one coming in for a few stomps and then leaving.

Orton grabs the backbreaker on Robbie McCallister, allowing Cena to come in with the top rope Fameasser for the pin. The FU to DH Smith and the RKO to Burchill and Val Venis get rid of three in a row, followed by Cena tossing Rhodes into another RKO for another elimination. That’s enough for the rest of the Roster to come in and jump Cena and Orton for the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a match as much as it was an extended segment, with Cena and Orton either getting stomped or hitting a finisher. Other than Umaga and JBL, the Roster was comprised of a bunch of jobbers and Cena/Orton mowed down a good chunk of them without much trouble. It’s really nice to see something different than the same stuff we always see around and this was certainly unique compared to the usual stuff we see.

Post match Orton gets beaten down until Cena makes the save with a chair. Umaga takes Cena down but JBL grabs his own chair and hits Umaga by mistake, meaning the chase is on. With everyone else gone, HHH comes out to Pedigree both of them and hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much like Smackdown, Raw has reached the point where Wrestlemania is set and there isn’t much left to do before we get there. That makes for some rather different shows, including this one, which didn’t add much to the card other than firming up what is already there. Wrestlemania is looking good though and we should be in for a pretty solid show if they deliver on what has been set up.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 19, 2023: They Broke The Trend

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are done with Hard To Kill and that means it is time to go through the fallout period. The big story coming out of the show was Mickie James ending her Last Rodeo by defeating Jordynne Grace to become the new Knockouts Champion. Other than that, Josh Alexander is still the World Champion, having defeated Bully Ray in Full Metal Mayhem. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hard To Kill if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Jay Briscoe, with Tom Hannifan giving a brief voiceover about thoughts and prayers being with the Briscoe family.

Long Hard To Kill recap.

Here is Mickie James to get things going. The Last Rodeo may be over but Hardcore Country lives forever…and Bully Ray interrupts. Ray tells her to get out but James tells HIM to get out. Ray: “You were not in the main event of Hard To Kill.” Fans: “YES SHE WAS!” Ray insists that HE was the main event, not he and Josh Alexander. The reality is that no one cared about this place until he got here four months ago. James says the only headline she saw was BULLY RAY TAPPED OUT!

That doesn’t sit well with Ray, but Mickie keeps going about how Bully is just a bully who politics his way to the top. She knows how he feels about women in wrestling, so if he wants to, get rid of her. Cue Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans, the former of which wants to see Ray go upside James’ head. Steelz says Mickie started the Last Rodeo because she can’t beat Tasha Steelz, which earns her a shove from James.

The challenge is thrown out (with Ray egging Steelz on) but Evans decks James. Ray grabs the table, which draws out Jordynne grace and Frankie Kazarian for the save. Cue Santino Marella to make a match, but he has to do math to figure out the right one. Cue…..ERNEST THE CAT MILLER of all people to say that since he used to be WCW’s Commissioner, he can offer some advice. The six person tag is made, following one of the most bizarre but oddly entertaining cameos I can remember in a long time.

Mickie James/Jordynne Grace/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bully Ray/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans

Steelz slugs away at grace to start before it’s off to Evans, who gets sent into the corner. Grace wants Ray, but the distraction lets Evans jump her from behind. That doesn’t last long either so it’s off to James for a nice reaction. Evans drops James as well but a hurricanrana out of the corner is good for a breather. Ray pulls James down from the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Ray slamming James and laying on the mat to add the trash talk. Steelz comes back in and we hit the chinlock but Mickie is back up again. Another kick sends James back into the corner though and the beating continues. A quick roll out of the corner gets James over to Grace, meaning house can be cleaned. Ray goes after Grace, who fireman’s carries him without much trouble. Kazarian comes in and hammers on Ray but James gets the tag, setting up the top rope Thesz press to finish Steelz at 13:57.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of fun match you want to start a show with and they even wrapped up James vs. Steelz so James can get on to another feud. Kazarian going after Ray is different and now I’m curious to see where that might go. Then again, Grace fighting Ray worked in a short bit and didn’t feel weird either, which is quite difficult to pull off.

Post match here is Masha Slamovich to give James the death warrant.

Santino Marella talks to Ernest Miller in the back and talks about a six way match with all former World Champions (Moose, Eddie Edwards, Sami Callihan, Rich Swann, Rhino, Chris Sabin) to crown a new #1 contender to Josh Alexander for No Surrender. Marella goes over to Dirty Dango but Steve Maclin interrupts. He wants to know why Rich Swann, who Maclin beat at Hard To Kill, is in the #1 contenders match. The result: Dango vs. Maclin tonight.

Ashley D’Amboise vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Purrazzo hammers her down to start and works on the arm, setting up the surfboard. A suplex gives Purrazzo two and a backbreaker gives Purrazzo two, as she pulls D’Amboise up. That’s enough to let D’Amboise get in a knee and a running flip neckbreaker. Purrazzo isn’t having this and hits a powerbomb into the Queen’s Gambit for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: C. I thought they might do the whole “squash until a fluke rollup” finish so nicely done on having Purrazzo look like a killer instead. She could use a reheating after a few down months so it was nice to see her wrecking people again. Not a classic or anything, but a completely fine squash.

A nervous Gia Miller goes to see PCO in the bowels of the building. When asked what is next, PCO screams a lot and shakes the cage wall.

Trey Miguel comes in to see Ashley D’Amboise and praises her skill, but she needs to hit the gym a bit more. D’Amboise: “Thank you.” Miguel: “Was that disrespect?” They argue until 73 year old Mike Jackson comes in to issue a challenge for title match next week.

Taylor Wilde vs. Killer Kelly

They do the creepy looks at each other until Wilde armdrags her into an armdrag. Back up and they trade shots up against the ropes with Wilde getting the better of things. A suplex sets up a guillotine choke to Kelly but she’s back up with forearms to the face. Wilde shrugs that off and hits a Codebreaker but gets sent to the apron. Kelly charges and lands in kind of a jumping Pedigree (that was cool) for a heck of a crash. That just makes Kelly smile at her and fire off some headbutts to take over. A quick Wilde Ride gives Wilde two so they trade rollups, with Kelly pulling her into the Killer Klutch for the tap at 7:15.

Rating: C+. This was a rather nice surprise as I wouldn’t have bet on seeing these two have an actually compelling match. I wasn’t sure who was going to win but Wilde looked sharper than she has since her return. The good thing is pushing Kelly though, as she feels different enough to be a threat while still being fresh. Nice job with this one.

On Before The Impact, Deaner made Sami Callihan take out an injured Delirious.

Deaner says that Callihan has to go through a seven step process and he has gone through two in a row. Next week, he is in the Golden Six Shooter #1 contenders match. Step three: win the title and bring it to the Design. What exactly is step #4?

Josh Alexander tells Santino Marella that he is fine with the #1 contenders match. Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal come in, with Shaw saying she is owed a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot but needs a partner. Various women walk by and turn her down without as much as a second thought but Vidal seems interested. I don’t think that is going to pass.

Dirty Dango vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin starts fast and knocks Dango around the ring, only to have Dango fight up and chop away. That doesn’t last long either as Maclin sends him into the ropes for a running crotch attack to the back of the head. A backbreaker gets two on Dango and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Dango fights up and fires off more chops, setting up the Dirtbag Shuffle (dancing legdrop). The top rope legdrop is loaded up but Maclin bails to the ramp. That’s fine with Dango, who hits a dive to take him out. Maclin is fine enough to backdrop him into the ring though and after the spear in the corner, the KIA finishes Dango at 5:41.

Rating: C. Maclin continues his rise to the top of the title picture as it is hard to imagine anyone else getting the title shot at Rebellion. Putting Maclin over a name like Dango is going to do him some good and it seems like he is going to be around for a bit. Dango is to the point where a loss isn’t going to hut him so this went fine all around.

The Major Players are ready for the Bullet Club next week. Moose comes up and says the Majors’ issues started when they lost to Joe Hendry. After they beat the Club, they’re coming for Hendry soon.

Busted Open Radio host Dave LaGreca sits down with co-host Tommy Dreamer to talk about their issues with other co-host Bully Ray. Both are upset with him but Dreamer won’t bring up their history together, including hooking Ray up with D-Von. Dreamer says he loses matches but not a war, and he’s going to war with Ray. Does he have to?

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Kenny King vs. Mike Bailey

Pit Fight, meaning no ropes and you only win by knockout or submission. They both miss some kicks to start until King takes him down and they go with the grappling on the mat. Back up and Bailey grabs a throw, sending King down to the floor for a breather. King gets back in and kicks Bailey to the floor for a whip into the steps. Bailey is sent head first into a light on the ramp to knock him silly as we take a break.

We come back with King firing off some knees to the chest and then dragon screw leg whipping Bailey down. Bailey, bleeding a bit, kicks King to the floor for a break before striking away back inside. The cross armbreaker has King in more trouble but he powerbombs his way to freedom. Bailey is fine enough to grab another armbreaker, only to be dragon screwed to the floor again. King nails a dive and grabs a chair before dodging a kick, sending Bailey’s foot into the post.

The Figure Four goes on but Bailey is out, setting up a run down the ramp into a running dropkick to send King outside. Then, after kicking a post with his bare foot, Bailey climbs to the top of the post and flip dives onto King. Tom: “Total nonstop action here in this Pit Fight!” The Ultimate Weapon is blocked though and King spinebusters him onto the apron. A kneebar goes on as the fans find this awesome. Bailey uses the chair from earlier for the save the moonsault knees knock King silly. A stomp onto the chair onto King’s head is good for the knockout at 16:41.

Rating: B. First of all, big points for trying something different. I’m not sure how much it was needed but they did try to go outside the box and it seemed to work. They beat each other up and it felt like the big close to the feud. Ignoring Bailey’s usual horrible selling (kick pose, King works the leg, Bailey does a bunch of flips and dives) and this was fun, with the fans certainly digging the heck out of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the show where everyone kind of stepped back and took a breath after the huge show last week and that’s cool. Sometimes you need to just chill for a bit and let the midcard take over while setting some things up for later. The six way match should be good and we can start getting ready for No Surrender, with Rebellion off in the distance. Nice show, and it’s great to see Impact shaking the tread of bad fallout from major pay per views.

Results
Mickie James/Jordynne Grace/Frankie Kazarian b. Bully Ray/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans – Top rope Thesz press to Steelz
Deonna Purrazzo b. Ashley D’Amboise – Queen’s Gambit
Killer Kelly b. Deonna Purrazzo – Killer Klutch
Steve Maclin b. Dirty Dango – KIA
Mike Bailey b. Kenny King via knockout

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Monday Night Raw – March 10, 2008 (Wrestlemania Rewind): Needs More Rewind

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2008
Location: Bradley Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a special three hour show as we have Wrestlemania Rewind. In this case that means every match will be a Wrestlemania rematch, which could make for some interesting combinations a few years after the original matches. Other than that, either Randy Orton or HHH will be in charge tonight, which isn’t fair to the other two when they get two hours each. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Ric Flair to get things going. Last week, Shawn Michaels came out here and said that he was going to stop Flair’s show at Wrestlemania. That means Flair needs Michaels out here right now in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Cue Shaw, with Flair saying that is the best entrance in wrestling today. When Flair got started, the idea of sympathy did not exist and if he can’t compete in the ring with people like Shawn today, he doesn’t to do this anymore. Flair wants to be a franchise player and someone who can beat someone like Shawn on his best day.

Shawn brings up the “to be the man” line, because at Wrestlemania, he IS the man, and Flair’s career is ending. No matter what happens, the show is going to get stolen. Before Wrestlemania though, Flair has a 3-1 steel cage match against Edge and…uh, his Edge guys. Now Shawn’s Friday nights are usually reserved for Dora The Explorer, but he’ll make an exception this time. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, calling this a touching, touching moment. Orton is in charge tonight, so we’ll have HHH vs. Kane and Shawn vs. the man he couldn’t beat last year at Wrestlemania: John Cena.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline to continue the fast opening. Old School is loaded up but Henry pulls him into a bearhug. With that not working, Henry clotheslines him to the floor, where Undertaker lands on his feet and pulls Henry outside. A whip into the corner slows Undertaker down again so he rams Henry into the casket. Back in and something close to a World’s Strongest Slam gets Henry out of trouble, only to have Undertaker pull him into the choke. That’s enough to knock Henry out and put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D+. That might be the shortest casket match I can remember and it felt like a way to have Undertaker on the show in some fashion. There was nothing to this one as Undertaker more or less squashed him in a hurry. Granted that’s how it should have been, but this wasn’t the most interesting option.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. and company are here.

Boxing people talk about Big Show vs. Mayweather Jr.

Earlier today, HHH talked about being ready to get the title back because it is two years in the making. Cena, Orton, game on.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay

They were in a Money in the Bank ladder match before so this counts as a rematch. Hold on though as JBL pops up on screen to say he’ll beat up Finlay so bad that he’ll be in a bed next to Hornswoggle. The bell rings and Finlay beats on him with the shillelagh for a DQ in about fifteen seconds.

Post match the beating continues and Finlay knocks him silly.

WWE is doing something with Make A Wish. Apparently John Cena does a lot with the charity. Like him or not, that is another level of work.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. JR: “One has to wonder what Chris Jericho’s motive is in this match.” Lawler: “To win the Intercontinental Title and be the champion.” They get on with the brawl (based off of some issues on the Highlight Reel a few weeks back) early until Jericho clotheslines him over the top.

We take an early break and come back with Hardy hitting the dropkick through the ropes. Hardy’s barricade running clothesline only hits announcers’ table though and things slow down a good bit. Back in and Jericho bends the back over his knee before kicking Hardy in the head. Hardy finally fights up and hits something like a Sling Blade, plus a Whisper in the Wind for two.

They go to a pinfall reversal sequence until Hardy misses some kind of flip. Jericho’s high crossbody is rolled through to give Hardy two but the Twist of Fate is countered. The Lionsault gives Jericho two but he misses the running enziguri, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate. Hardy misses the Swanton though and it’s a Codebreaker to give Jericho the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but the last few minutes were what you would expect from these two. Hardy has been on a bit of a downward slide at the moment, as at some point he has to actually win the bigger matches. Winning the Intercontinental Title doesn’t mean much for him, but it does give Jericho a needed boost. Good match too, at least once things really got rolling.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Hold on though as Jillian Hall is here for her own version of Born In The USA. That earns her the airplane spin from Mike Rotunda, as we have no match (thank goodness).

Next up for the Hall of Fame: the Briscos. Yeah that works, and as usual the old footage is great.

Video on Big Show.

Kane watches a clip of HHH beating him at Wrestlemania XV. We’re still allowed to talk about that one? Anyway, Randy Orton comes in and wants Kane to hurt HHH tonight but Kane doesn’t want a history lesson.

HHH vs. Kane

Kane slugs him into the corner to start but HHH punches his way to freedom. Back up and Kane takes it outside, where HHH reverses a whip into the post. Kane slugs away back inside and kicks HHH in the face, only to charge into a spinebuster. The facebuster staggers Kane again but the Pedigree is countered. As Randy Orton comes out to watch, HHH slips out of the chokeslam and hits the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this VERY simple and to the point, as HHH gets to beat up the monster clean. Then again it isn’t like Kane is worth much at the moment and has just been kind of going through the motions. What matters here is HHH though, as he gets the big win and builds momentum towards Wrestlemania, meaning they accomplished the goal.

John Cena talks about how important Wrestlemania is. It’s the reason why he worked so hard to come back from his injury so soon, because Wrestlemania is what matters more than anything else. He respects Randy Orton, but it is going to be a fight to be the best. Cena’s time will come again.

Melina vs. Ashley

Beth Phoenix is here with Melina but there’s no Ashley, as she is hurt. We have a replacement though.

Melina vs. Maria

Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle are here too. Maria charges into a boot in the corner to start as the shrieking is on to start. Now it’s Santino Marella coming out to watch, complete with a copy of Maria’s Playboy. Santino rips it up for a distraction, allowing Melina to hit a reverse DDT for the pin.

Post match Beth helps Melina beat the other two down.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. He has a lot of money.

Here is Shane McMahon for the official Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. weigh-in. Mayweather weighs 159lbs and Show weighs 441. Show isn’t interested in the photo, but he does bring up Mayweather’s posse. Instead he brings out his own posse in the form of the locker room. Show points out that no one here likes Mayweather and promises pain at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pulls out cash, smells it, and talks about how he respects Big Show.

As the WHAT treatment goes on, Mayweather says Show has to catch him to hurt him. Show takes the case and hands it to some of the wrestlers so Mayweather promises to break Show’s jaw at Wrestlemania. Everyone goes to leave, but Show grabs Mayweather and throws him over the top, onto a bunch of the wrestlers. Mayweather comes up favoring his shoulder and runs to the back with everyone else going behind him.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Randy Orton says he’s HHH and John Cena plus more rolled into one. Wouldn’t that get a little cramped?

Edge vs. CM Punk

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Punk kicks him in the face to start but walks into a hot shot for his efforts. Some strikes don’t work very well for Punk but he is fine enough to fight out of a suplex. A knee to the face and some kicks set up the springboard clothesline for two on Edge. That earns Punk a quick DDT from Edge but Punk is back up with the GTS attempt. Cue the Edgeheads for a distraction though and the spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: C. Punk has taken a few hits as of late and doesn’t seem to have much going in the way of momentum. Granted some of that might just be due to feuding with Chavo Guerrero for weeks on end, but losing to Edge isn’t quite as bad. Punk certainly has the talent, and now all he has to do is put the pieces together to make it work

Here is William Regal to talk about the Raw vs. Smackdown match between Umaga vs. Batista. Regal isn’t worried about Batista, which sends us to a video on Umaga. As Regal talks about how he pities Batista at Wrestlemania, here is Batista to interrupt. The fight is on with Batista hitting the spinebuster to send Umaga running.

Vince McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

They trade hammerlocks to start as we talk about their history against each other. Neither can get very far until it’s Cena trying to get the STF, sending Shawn to the floor and us to a break. Back with Cena cranking on the arm until Shawn swinging neckbreakers his way to freedom. Cena gets tossed over the top and it’s time to start in on the knee back inside.

A quick AA attempt doesn’t work as the knee gives out, with Shawn chop blocking Cena to damage the knee even worse. Cena is fine enough to kick Michaels into the corner though and the clothesline comeback is on. The Shuffle connects but the FU is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence.

They collide for a double knockdown and a breather, allowing Shawn to hit the flying forearm. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Cena grabs the foot. That’s fine with Shawn, who pulls him into that reverse Figure Four. With that broken up, Cena is sent outside and Shawn hits a dive, only to have Randy Orton run in to deck Cena for the DQ.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to work well together so the quality was hardly a surprise. It also helps that they got some time, but Orton running in was the best way to go given how strong both of them need to be going into Wrestlemania. It’s no classic, but Shawn vs. Cena in any form is at least worth a look.

Post match the RKO onto a chair is countered into a shove onto the chair, setting up the FU to drop Orton.

We cut to HHH in the back, who is in charge next week. Therefore, next week it’s John Cena and Randy Orton teaming up to face….the entire Raw roster. Oh boy.

Overall Rating: C. The nostalgia was fun, but it was also pretty limited, with some random rematches and cameos, plus some rematches that only kind of took place originally. I can go for an old school show, but this wasn’t exactly their best effort. They’re making me want to see Wrestlemania though so they are getting the big picture right.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 3, 2008: Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky?

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally Wrestlemania month and we are less than four weeks away from the show. The big story around here is the triple threat match between Raw World Champion Randy Orton and challengers HHH and John Cena. Other than that, we’re going to be seeing Big Show vs. a professional fighter, because wrestlers are…tap dancers or something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton, John Cena and HHH are in William Regal’s office and has a great idea: for the next three weeks, one of them will be in charge every week. Tonight it’s Cena, but Orton thinks they should have a pact that says the other two should get the night off every week. Cena has a better idea.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Brandon Hill

This is billed as MMA (win by pin/submission/knockout), as Hill is a boxer and Floyd Mayweather Jr. is watching live from Las Vegas (I’m sure). We get the showdown, with Show towering over the rather small Hill, and in a rare production gaffe, you see the cameramen in the ring (I don’t know if that’s a choice for the match, but it feels WAY out of place in WWE). Hill runs away to start and then panics when Show grabs him by the trunks. Then the chokeslam finishes for Show fast.

Post match Show calls out Mayweather and promises to ruin him at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pops up on screen to yell about how he’ll break Show’s jaw. Oh and he’s coming to the show. Then Show tosses Hill over the top for a nasty landing.

Video on HHH.

Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Flair and Murdoch start things off, with Flair sending him into the corner for some right hands. Shawn comes in for an awkward collision with Murdoch, allowing Cade to grab a belly to back suplex. An atomic drop/big boot combination gets two on Shawn but he gets a boot up to stop a diving Murdoch. It’s back to Flair to strike away, setting up the stereo Figure Fours for the stereo submissions.

Rating: C. Just a quick, nothing match here with Flair and Shawn getting to spend some time together with Wrestlemania on the way. We still have some more weeks for them to be nice to each other before they get personal, which still feels like a bit of a stretch. Cade and Murdoch’s fall continues, as they are now about as worthless as they could be. Because tag teams.

Post match Shawn says he doesn’t want to be the one who ends Flair’s career. He knows Flair is thinking “what makes Shawn think he’s that guy”, but it’s Wrestlemania and he’s Shawn Michaels. At Wrestlemania, Flair’s show is going to be stopped.

John Cena comes in to see William Regal and gets right to the point: tonight it’s Randy Orton vs. HHH, while Cena will face Mr. Kennedy. Oh and since Cena is in charge, Regal can leave the office.

Umaga vs. Super Crazy

William Regal is on commentary as Umaga wins with the Samoan Spike in less than 45 seconds.

Here is Chris Jericho for the return of the Highlight Reel. Jericho talks about how this is the talk show that inspired the others, such as Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky and Cooking With Goldberg. For now though, let’s get our guest out there: Jeff Hardy. Jericho shows us a clip of him beating Hardy last week to qualify for Money In The Bank, even though Hardy is already in there. Of course fans are expecting Hardy to steal the show, but this time Hardy talks about how important it is for him to win here. Then Hardy lays him out with the Twist of Fate.

Mr. Kennedy vs. John Cena

Kennedy’s headlock doesn’t do much to start as Cena is right back with a backdrop. We take a break about thirty seconds in (erg) and come back with Kennedy bailing to the floor, meaning the chase is on. Kennedy snaps him throat first across the top rope to take over, setting up a hard ram into the apron. Back in and Kennedy hits a neckbreaker onto the knee for two, followed by the cravate to stay on the neck. Cena powers out and hits the running clotheslines into the top rope Fameasser. The STFU finishes Kennedy off.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have much time here and that commercial was quite the waste of time. Cena gets some revenge to make up for the night where he was hurt in October so a thread is tied up. I’m not sure how many people were wanting it to be tied up, but getting Cena in the ring on Raw is often a good idea and having him win here without much drama over the winner worked fine.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to emcee the unveiling of Maria’s Playboy cover. Maria and Candice Michelle come out, the cover is unveiled…and Santino Marella has censored it. Cue Santino to complain about Maria being in the magazine, Maria yells at him and Lawler clears him out. The real cover is revealed, Lawler is excited and that’s it. So why did they have the other version ready (a giant banner above the ring) when they were surprised that Santino had messed with the poster size one?

John Cena was at a NASCAR race.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody’s headlock doesn’t go very far to start but he does get two off a backslide. Back up and Carlito sends him into the corner for some shots to the face but the Backstabber misses. A middle rope spinning crossbody gives Cody two and a sunset flip is good for the same. Cody tries a victory roll but Carlito reverses into a backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was quick and to the point, with Carlito qualifying for a match he has no chance of winning. Cody isn’t going to win it either and is way too early in his career to be there either, so maybe just not having these two in a match for a spot would have been better. It’s good to get Cody in the ring, but Carlito means nothing at this point and that isn’t easy to hide.

We get a satellite interview with Floyd Mayweather Jr., who brags about how awesome he is and how he is ready to dominate WWE. He’s ready to break Big Show’s jaw and declares himself the real king, much to Lawler’s….well I’d assume annoyance, but Mayweather promises to turn the company into Money Mayweather Entertainment so we don’t get much of a reaction.

Mae Young is going into the Hall of Fame, meaning we get quite the entertaining video package.

Here is Finlay to confront JBL after Hornswoggle was attacked last week. For now though, here is Vince McMahon to interrupt, with Vince confirming that he is NOT Hornswoggle’s father, but Finlay certainly is. JBL isn’t here, but we do have him via satellite….from Hornswoggle’s hospital room. JBL says it’s fun to prey on the innocent and the challenge to face Finlay is thrown out for Wrestlemania. Then JBL turns out the lights and we hear Hornswoggle screaming. That was an intense scene and JBL is kind of perfect for it, but they rushed through it so fast that it didn’t have quite the impact.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. Orton takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean….stare at each other. HHH does the same thing but punches Orton in the face, which fits him rather well. Some headlock takeovers from HHH are broken up by Orton’s headscissors as Cena talks about everything Orton did to his father.

Orton grabs the backbreaker as the fans are rather behind HHH. The circle stomping ensues until HHH is back up with the facebuster. They fight to the floor with HHH hammering away, setting up the spinebuster back inside. Orton bails to the floor and grabs the title so Cena breaks it up, only to have HHH knock both of them over. Cena comes in and jumps HHH for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here and the match was more about sitting around waiting on Cena to do something to end things. That’s likely what we are going to be seeing for a few weeks to come and that is not the worst idea. The idea is to make fans want to see Wrestlemania and little teases like this could make that be the case.

Post match Cena gives HHH the FU but walks into the RKO so Orton can stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can definitely feel a similar style of build to Wrestlemania on Raw and Smackdown. The main event is the huge focal point with one other big match per show announced. This week saw JBL vs. Finlay all but set up and when you throw in Umaga vs. Batista and Money in the Bank, the core of the show is ready. This week’s show was just ok, but the build to Wrestlemania is what matters most and that is going rather well.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi – February 26, 2008: Blech Is Never A Good Description

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 26, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re on the way to Wrestlemania and this week isn’t likely to have Ric Flair for a main event. Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk should be done for good but you never can tell with that feud. It feels like it could somehow keep going despite being long past its expiration date. If not Punk though, who else is supposed to go after the title? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kelly Kelly/Kofi Kingston vs. Santino Marella/Layla

The women start things off as Tazz talks about some 80s song. Actually we’ll switch to the men as Kelly has to bring in “Koko Kingston”. That’s fine with Kofi, who knocks Marella into the corner and hammers away. Back up and Santino gets in a cheap shot to take over and a clothesline allows for some posing.

Layla even gets in some hair pulling from the apron, allowing Santino to work on an armbar. For some reason Santino tags Layla in, which is as good as Kofi tagging Kelly. Some clotheslines drop Layla and Kelly hits a high crossbody for one as everything breaks down. Trouble In Paradise drops Santino and a Fameasser gives Kelly the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as good as Santino doing his lame offense to Kofi for a few minutes before the women came in for the finish was going to be. Santino is a fun character but he doesn’t exactly have the in-ring work to back it up in any way. Kofi continues to feel like someone WWE is protecting and that is a good sign for his future.

Bunnymania is coming at Wrestlemania.

Video on Maria’s Playboy shoot.

Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox

Knox, ever the villain, goes for the throat to start and a hot shot cuts off a comeback attempt. The slow beating is on and Knox grabs a chinlock to stay on the throat. That’s switched into a choke so the fans start begging for the comeback. Richards comes up with a superkick but the StevieT is blocked. Instead Richards avoids a charge into the corner and now the StevieT is enough to finish Knox off.

Rating: D+. Do you know how fast someone with the limited offense of Knox is going to run out of throat based moves? Richards has a good story, but there is only so much that you can do with it week after week. Yeah he has a bad throat, but if that’s all you’re getting, how far is this supposed to go?

Tommy Dreamer tells Colin Delaney that he as a future as his injuries are starting to heal. Delaney asks if he can have his own theme music when he becomes a star. Dreamer glares at him.

Raw Rebound.

Commentary gets serious about the Vince McMahon/JBL/Hornswoggle/Finlay ordeal.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer/Colin Delaney

Non-title. Dreamer armdrags Morrison down to start but Delaney tags himself in (Dreamer: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”) and hits a dropkick. Morrison takes him down without much trouble though and it’s off to Miz to hammer away in the corner. The backbreaker/slingshot elbow combination gives Morrison two and it’s back to Miz for a chinlock. Delaney fights up and Dreamer gets the tag to start the house cleaning. A reverse DDT plants Miz and Morrison is sent outside. Dreamer sends Miz into Delaney and the DDT is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. It might make sense in the story but Dreamer and Delaney just beat the Tag Team Champions completely clean. That’s not the best thing to see and while Miz and Morrison aren’t likely to drop the titles, it feels like a repeat of the Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore feud. Just stop having the champs get pinned.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference, with the focus on Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Miz and John Morrison are yelling at each other when they’re told Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney are getting a Tag Team Title shot next week. They aren’t scared.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets an ECW Title shot against Chavo Guerrero, on commentary, next week. The fans are behind Punk as Benjamin kicks Burke to the floor. Chavo: “I would have ducked.” Benjamin knocks Punk down but Burke low bridges him outside to even things up a bit. Back in and Punk grabs a slightly scary flapjack on Burke but Benjamin comes in for the jumping Downward Spiral to drop Punk.

We take a break and come back with Benjamin sunset bombing Punk to the floor but getting dropkicked off the apron by Burke. The Outer Limits elbow gets two on Punk and the running crotch attack to the back of the next hits Benjamin as Burke is the only one left standing. Punk pulls Burke off the top, only to get caught with Benjamin’s dragon whip to cut him down as well. Burke knocks Benjamin out to the floor but Punk is back up with the GTS for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. They didn’t hide what they were going to do with the winner here and that isn’t the worst thing. That being said, I’m completely burned out on Punk vs. Chavo, but who else is there to go after the title? ECW is really weak on top faces right now and I don’t think I can see Stevie Richards getting a title shot. That leaves Punk, and that isn’t much to write home about at the moment.

Post match Guerrero gets in the ring for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Blech, what a weak show this was, with Kofi vs. Santino being one of the more interesting things going on. You can only get so much with this limited of a roster and no one else to challenge Chavo, so this was more a matter of time than anything else. The main event was fine, but I need more than Punk vs. Chavo 47 or whatever it is to pique my interest.

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 25, 2008: Friendly Photo Op

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2008
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the Road to Wrestlemania and now we have a new participant in the Raw World Title match. Last week, John Cena defeated Randy Orton in a non-title match to make the title match a triple threat match. Other than that, we’re setting up some Money in the Bank participants so now we get to see who else gets to join. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena beating Randy Orton last week to get into the Wrestlemania title match, only to have HHH lay them both out.

Orton, Cena and HHH are in the ring for what seems to be a photo opportunity, as moderated by William Regal. With the photo taken, each one gets to say something so we can know their thoughts heading into the match. Cena goes first and says he was raised that if you have a problem with someone, you say it to their face.

With that, he gets in HHH’s face and thanks him for not throwing out last week’s match, allowing Cena to go to Wrestlemania. He does have a problem with the Pedigree, but HHH says he wants Cena in the ring at Wrestlemania. HHH thinks a lot of the fans liked the Pedigree and Cena better get used to it, because at Wrestlemania, he’s getting another one. Cena remembers HHH tapping out at Wrestlemania, which is enough for HHH to take off his jacket.

The staredown is on but Orton says one thing is going to remain the same: he is still WWE Champion. The two of them have come after him but he still has the title. You might even say THE CHAMP IS HERE! Orton says the two of them can’t do anything about it, which is enough for the fight to be on. With Orton sent outside, HHH punches Cena down but Orton is back in with the RKO to both of them. Orton poses, leaves, then poses again. Good segment to get everyone in the ring and doing something in less than ten minutes.

Post break Orton is in the back when he runs into Mr. Kennedy. Since Wrestlemania is right around the corner, Kennedy has been thinking about winning Money In The Bank and cashing in that night, so Orton loses no matter what. Orton promises violence if Kennedy tries.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Non-title and Maria is here with Carlito and Santino. Marella and Rhodes start things off with Rhodes slamming him down and dropping a knee. Rhodes gets sent into Carlito on the apron and Santino gets in a takedown. That’s enough for Carlito to come in and stomp away as Lawler is trying to get Maria to come sit next to him. A swinging neckbreaker drops Rhodes for two but he Russian legsweeps his way to freedom. Holly comes in to clean house as Lawler throws his crown at Maria to get her attention. The distraction lets Holly slam Marella off the top and hit the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well at least Lawler’s jabbering turned into a little something with the ending. I’m not sure why they didn’t just make this a title match for the sake of giving the champs a successful defense, especially when it’s Carlito/Marella. The match was short and to the point, which was mainly about Maria, who is higher profile than the four people in the match at the moment.

We recap Big Show agreeing to fight Floyd Mayweather Jr. last week.

We go to the Wrestlemania press conference, with Mayweather vs. Big Show confirmed for the show. Mayweather, standing on something, had a staredown with Show, who promised to explain pain.

William Regal is happy with the controversy and promises more of it when Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton team up to face John Cena and HHH tonight. Chris Jericho comes in to mock Regal’s hair and offer him some tea (in a seven year old call back) before getting to the point: he wants in Money In The Bank. Regal is cool with that, but Jericho has to qualify against Jeff Hardy. Oh and it’s next. Cool with Jericho, but Regal’s shirt and tie aren’t.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and Hardy is already qualified but doesn’t seem to lose anything if Jericho wins. Feeling out process to start with Jericho going after the arm so Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom. A high crossbody gives Jericho two and a suplex is good for the same. The enziguri is countered into a catapult over the top but they both dive back in for a standoff as we take a break.

Back with Jericho cranking on both arms and then punching Hardy down for two. They both try crossbodies and crash to give us a double knockdown. It’s Hardy up first to knock Jericho into the corner, where he avoids a bulldog to really take over. The fans are behind Jericho as he breaks up a Whisper In The Wind, which is broken up as well so Hardy’s second attempt works just fine.

Hardy loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls, sending Hardy over to the rope. Jericho gets dropped again but is fine enough to avoid the Swanton. The Lionsault connects for two so Jericho tries the Walls again. With that broken up, Jericho grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. These two having a good match is no surprise whatsoever and they had the time to make it work. I still don’t know why Hardy needed to take a fall here when he was already in the ladder match, but at least Jericho has something to do at Wrestlemania. You know, because he was stuck in the cold otherwise.

Here is Vince McMahon to discuss Hornswoggle’s beating last week. Vince says last week was a mistake, as Hornswoggle was beaten into oblivion by JBL. Therefore, he apologizes to Hornswoggle and wants JBL out here right now. A rather nervous looking JBL comes out and Vince demands an apology for taking it too far last week.

JBL apologizes….for not doing it sooner. See, he has it on good advice that Hornswoggle is NOT Vince’s son, but rather Finlay’s. Hornswoggle didn’t know, but Finlay knew the entire time and JBL has the documentation to prove it. Now JBL is going to make Finlay pay. Well that moved things forward fast, and it’s only a few months too late.

John Cena comes in to see HHH, who says to save the “we don’t like each other but we have to work together”. HHH wants to go out there and win because that is what he does best. Cena feels the same and tells HHH to watch his own back.

Umaga vs. DH Smith

Smith pounds away to start for a grand total of no avail. A splash, the running hip attack and the Samoan Spike finish Smith off in a hurry. Total squash.

We go to William Regal’s office where the Burchills are impressed with Umaga. Regal says he’s perfect, as he has received a challenge from Vickie Guerrero for a Raw vs. Smackdown showdown at Wrestlemania. Katie Lea thinks Paul would be better, but Regal needs to see more first. The Burchills go to leave, but Paul comes back to say Katie might like Regal.

Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels

Trevor Murdoch is here with Cade. They start fast with Cade hitting something like a Side Effect but Michaels gets up before Cade can hit anything else. Shawn misses the top rope elbow but manages to pull Cade into the Crossface. That’s enough for Murdoch to run in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This felt like an excuse to get Shawn in the ring and that is probably leading somewhere with Ric Flair. Other than that, it is kind of sad to see Cade and Murdoch reduced to almost nothing. WWE doesn’t have many tag teams so why have one of them turn into such an unimportant pair?

Post match Shawn cleans house and has a bloody nose. Cue Ric Flair to interrupt (well kind of, as Shawn was just standing there) and Shawn immediately pays respect. Flair can’t believe what an honor it is to be the first active wrestler in the Hall of Fame. The one thing he wants to do to make it even better is to wrestle Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania.

Shawn brings up the “you lose, you’re done” stipulation and he doesn’t want to be the one to end Flair’s career. Flair doesn’t like Shawn’s tone because who says Flair would be losing? All of the respect that Shawn gave him last week means nothing if Shawn doesn’t give him this match. That’s enough for Shawn and he’s in. Well that didn’t take much of a push. They leave together and everything is cool.

Mike Adamle announces the next inductees into the Hall of Fame: High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson. This would be in no way a gift to get the Rock to be happy with the company.

Lawler announces Bunnymania: Maria/Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina.

We get a behind the scenes look at Maria’s Playboy shoot.

John Cena/HHH vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Cena and HHH clear the ring to start and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with HHH sending Kennedy into the corner and Cena coming in to do the same. HHH tags himself back in and throws a crotch chop at Cena, allowing Kennedy to get in a cheap shot. Orton comes in and stomps away before dropping a knee for two.

We hit the chinlock to keep HHH in trouble before Orton sends him out to the apron. HHH finally kicks Kennedy down but Orton is right there to block the hot tag to Cena. The RKO is blocked though and HHH calls into the tag off to Cena to clean house. Orton has to break up the FU on Kennedy so HHH takes Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to tap to the STFU.

Rating: C. Totally run of the mill main event style tag match but so much of it was during the break that there wasn’t much to be seen. You can only get so much out of a match that only had about eight minutes of TV time and there was no reason for anyone but Kennedy to take the fall. The triple threat match is looking good, but this wasn’t the best way to set it up.

Post match Cena and HHH have a staredown, allowing Kennedy to Mic Check Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well, the wrestling wasn’t great, but they have Wrestlemania in sight and a good portion of the card is either set or all but set. That being said, you can only get so much out of a show with almost nothing in the way of very good action. WWE needs to find a way to do both or the next month could get pretty rough in a hurry. For now though, this was just ok and that’s not the best way to get to Wrestlemania.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 11, 2008: On The Roll Again

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and the second show in a double taping as the roster is are on an Asian tour. The pay per view card is all but set and I’m not sure what else we are going to see on this show that is going to make it that much better. HHH still won’t be here again this week though and that should drag things down a bit, though it could be interesting to see who picks up the slack. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Of note: a graphic says that the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show will be airing on CNBC. As someone who was devastated when that took Raw’s place near my birthday every year, I can’t help but smile.

Vince McMahon vs. Hornswoggle

No DQ and Finlay is banned from ringside. Vince, who does look a bit intimidating in his fighting gear, shoves him down without much trouble to start. Even Vince is willing to have a heart though and he lets Hornswoggle get in a free slap. After a delay, Hornswoggle manages to do it, which is enough for Vince to pull out his belt. Cue Finlay to get in Vince’s way so Vince threatens to fire him. That’s a major threat to Finlay, who has a wife and kids of his own. Finlay goes to leave but then knocks Vince cold with the shillelagh. Hornswoggle goes to leave but drops a Tadpole Splash for the pin in a nice moment.

Rating: C. This was more or less an angle instead of a match as the only moves were a slap and a splash. The story has long since lost its luster and could use an endgame of some kind, but I’m not sure what that could be. I can’t picture Vince vs. Finlay being interesting so unless they want to pull a surprise trigger, this could be in search of a finish for a good while.

Post break Vince gets his head looked at until William Regal comes in to check on him. Tonight, Vince is going to fire Finlay.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Royal Rumble rematch. They fight over a lockup to start until JBL misses a big boot, allowing Jericho to slug away with forearms. Jericho kicks him in the ribs and rips at the face but it’s too early for the Walls. There’s a baseball slide to send JBL outside but he goes evil with a thumb to the eye. For some reason that doesn’t work on Jericho, who is back with a spinwheel kick for a breather.

We take a break and come back with JBL hitting a rather hard clothesline, setting up the sleeper. Jericho fights up and knocks him down, including a top rope clothesline for two. The middle dropkick gets the same and Jericho counters the fall away slam into a DDT for another near fall. Back up and Jericho charges into a boot in the corner, only to duck a clothesline and grab the Codebreaker for the pin.

Rating: C+. They kept this short enough that it didn’t overexpose JBL as being fairly boring in the ring. Jericho got the pin to probably wrap up the feud that was only so good in the first place. Other than that, it gives Jericho a boost going into the Elimination Chamber, where he is probably the third favorite for the match.

Post match, Umaga comes in and Samoan Spikes both of them.

Mike Adamle throws us to a video on John Cena vs. Randy Orton.

William Regal has a group of men ready to beat Finlay up and drag him to Vince for his firing. Vince has a better idea: a cage match with Hornswoggle next week!

Paul Burchill vs. Brian Kendrick

This is Burchill’s return after about two years away and his sister Katie Lea is with him. Before the match, the Burchill’s seem rather….fond of one another. Paul works on the arm to start as JR again plugs the dog show. Kendrick armdrags him into an armbar but a Katie distraction lets Paul take over. One heck of a stomp sets up a rolling cutter to finish Kendrick. Just a step above a squash, but Katie was more impressive than Paul.

John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Randy Orton is on commentary. Cena charges into the World’s Strongest Slam fifteen seconds in and Henry knocks him into the corner. Some rights and lefts don’t do much for Cena as Henry is right back with a full nelson. That’s broken up and Henry misses a charge into the corner, setting up a middle rope shoulder into the STFU to give Cena the fast tap.

Post match Cena tells Orton that he is 100% heading into No Way Out so Orton better be ready. Cena would never lie about an injury status.

Wrestlemania is coming, complete with Red Hot Chili Peppers theme.

Here is Mr. Kennedy to see if Ric Flair wants to forfeit their No Way Out match. Cue Flair, to tell Kennedy a story. Flair: “Before you were born….” Kennedy: “Oh here we go.” Flair talks about how he and his generation paved the road for people like Kennedy so he isn’t forfeiting. Sure Kennedy has a great future, but he wants to do once what Flair has done sixteen times. Flair is coming to No Way Out and goes to leave, but Kennedy kicks him in the bad leg and mocks the strut. This match is getting a far better build than I would have expected.

Melina vs. Maria

Jillian Hall and Santino Marella are here too, with the latte joining commentary. Maria starts fast with a scorpion kick but Melina knocks her right back down. Back up and Maria screams a lot before hitting a clothesline. Melina gets dropped throat first on the top and a bulldog makes it worse, but Jillian kisses Santino. That’s enough for Melina to grab a rollup for the cheap pin.

Post match, Santino begs forgiveness and talks about what happens to WWE women who do Playboy. Therefore, she has one week to decide between Playboy and him. Santino kisses her and leaves.

No Way Out rundown.

Video on HHH.

Candice Michelle is coming back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shawn Michaels

Non-title and this should be good. Hardy starts fast with a backslide for two before sending him outside. The dive misses so Shawn slaps him in the face before they go back inside. A headlock takeover puts Shawn down and a belly to back suplex gives Hardy two as the fast start continues. Shawn fights up and elbows him into the corner for the chops, only to get headlock takeovered again.

Back up and Hardy gets sent over the top for some cat skinning, so Shawn hits a slightly harder than expected clothesline. Hardy is fine enough to mule kick Shawn to the floor for the baseball slide but Shawn powerslams him out of the air. We take a break and come back with Hardy favoring his back, as you might have expected. There’s a hard whip into the corner and Michaels drives some knees into the back to make it worse. The bow and arrow goes on Hardy until he elbows his way to freedom.

Back up and they slug it out until Shawn grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two. The half crab goes on to stay on Hardy’s back, sending Hardy to the rope. Hardy avoids a charge to send Shawn shoulder first into the post but Shawn is fine enough to knock him off the top. The elbow misses though and the Whisper in the Wind gives Hardy two as JR is getting WAY into this.

Shawn is back up with the forearm into the nipup and now the top rope elbow can connect. The superkick misses so Shawn goes for his weird reverse figure four, sending Hardy to the rope again. Another superkick misses and it’s the Twist of Fate into the Swanton to give Hardy the big win.

Rating: B+. That was a pay per view quality match that got the time and gave Hardy one of the biggest wins of his career. On top of that it was a completely clean finish, which you don’t see very often in a spot like this. Hardy is on a roll going into the Chamber, though he was on a roll going into the Royal Rumble match with Orton and that didn’t turn out so well for him. For now though, great match.

Overall Rating: B. This was another weird show, but the double taping thing probably explains a lot of the setup. We had a heck of a main event and another pretty good one in JBL vs. Jericho, plus the Vince stuff was short. No Way Out needs to get out of the way already so we can move on to Wrestlemania, but the go home show was an improvement over recent weeks.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 4, 2008: Needs More Filler

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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