FINALLY we’re done with the build to Superbrawl. Now it’s time to start building to….oh no…..oh no……NO PLEASE NOT THIS!!! NOT UNCENSORED 1996!!!!! This would wind up being one of the worst shows that I have ever seen and easily one of the biggest jokes of all time. I guess we start talking about it tonight. Flair is champion and Hogan triumphed again last night so that’s what we’re building up with. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

The announcers run down the card and talk about the two main events for the most part. Oh and Liz is evil now, meaning she’ll look much hotter now.

We look at the Strap Match where Pillman acted/quit/got released and Anderson had to take his place. Now it’s the title match. Oh and Hogan in a grudge match went on after the world title match of course.

Randy Savage vs. Hugh Morrus

Savage vs. Flair again next week. Macho is all reserved and ticked off as he comes to the ring. Morrus jumps him as he comes in but Savage fights him off. Uh make that Morrus beats on Savage. Hey let’s talk about Hogan! There’s a new member of the Dungeon called the Loch Ness who weighed like 700 pounds. He would be gone in like 2 months and never faced Hogan.

Randy gets a boot up in the corner to break up the momentum. There are going to be WCW guys on an episode of Baywatch. We hit the floor and Morrus eats post. Back in the laughing dude gets a suplex so he can choke. There’s the spinning finger from Savage after an elbow gets him out of trouble. Morrus’ moonsault misses, slam, elbow, another elbow, pin.

Rating: C. Just your basic hero vs. monster match here that was nothing special at all. Savage gets a bit of momentum for the rematch next week which is certainly a good thing. The match itself was nothing special. They wanted to push Morrus I think but they never had the chance to really do so.

Another elbow follows and Savage says he wants Flair.

Gene talks to some racecar driver and no one cares at all.

Scotty Riggs vs. Loch Ness

So it’s a new monster against a near jobbing tag team face. What do you think is going to happen here? Anderson vs. Hogan is the main event apparently. Riggs gets some dropkicks and goes up for a cross body. Loch Ness drops him and falls on Riggs’ knees. A pair of big elbows end Riggs. Yep this was what I expected here.

Liz and Woman wheel out a stretcher and yep Liz looks sexy in those black boots. Flair pops up off the stretcher for no apparent reason. You may not believe this, but Flair talks about styling and profiling and riding in jets and limos and Space Mountain. Liz says she has half of Randy’s money and implies she screwed Flair last night.

Konnan vs. Devon Storm

Storm is more famous (kind of) as Crowbar. Konnan is US Champion here but this is non-title I think. The bell rings after the commercial. Storm takes him down quickly with a dropkick and we hit the floor. Storm sets up a chair and hits a springboard tope con hilo. A dropkick from the apron is enough to put Konnan in the chair. Storm sets up the steps but when he tries a rana off them he gets powerbombed on the floor. Back in the ring now with Konnan hammering away. Konnan gets a sloppy rana for no cover as we speed things up a bit.

Things slow down a bit as Konnan gets a leg lock. George Steinbrenner is here. You know this math stuff and the leg locks are kind of boring. Storm tries a sunset bomb to the floor but is countered into a rana. Eric clarifies that last week when he implied WWF had something to do with a power outage that he wasn’t being serious at all. He sounds sincere when he says that too so I’ll take him at his word there. Back in the ring we get an ECW chant. Storm tries a top rope rana but Konnan counters into a powerbomb with a jackknife pin for the victory.

Rating: C+. This was like a tale of two matches. The first half was incredibly exciting with Storm showing off a lot. The second half was rather boring and sloppy. It’s a great example of a match that would be much better if you cut off maybe 90 seconds, even though it’s a 5 minute match. Fun stuff but too much boring in the end for it to be really fun.

Hulk Hogan vs. Arn Anderson

According to Bischoff, Anderson is tough but Hogan is REALLY tough. Let the Hogan worship begin! He still has a bad eye too. Anderson gets a shot to the head but can’t do much other than that as here comes Hogan. Hogan no sells a clothesline and gets a pair of his own. Out to the floor and Arn backpedals. He tries a Piledriver out ther ebut Hogan counters into a slingshot into the post. Hogan takes the eyepatch off and rams Anderson’s arm into the post.

Almost all Hulk so far here. Steinbrenner seems to like this. Arn gets a back elbow which puts Hogan down. And so much for that as Arn gets crotched on the top rope. Apparently he has balls of steel as he fights back and here are Liz and Flair. Spinebuster gets two as Hogan does the super kickout. Here’s the usual but Hogan struts and puts the Figure Four on. Flair comes in and while Anderson is in the Figure Four Hogan rolls up Flair at the same time. Woman throws powder in Hogan’s face and Flair slips Arn Liz’s high heel which goes into the eye of baldie for the pin.

Rating: C. This was just to give Anderson the fluke win because what happens next is another eye rolling moment regarding Hogan vs. Flair and company. The match itself was just ok as Hogan dominated and then Arn got in like two moves. If Hogan hadn’t been an idiot (I know just go with it) then he would have won in a squash, which says a lot.

Hogan’s eye is apparently fine as he pops up and beats both guys down. Savage comes in to help and they get a chair shot to Flair. Flair storms the broadcast booth and says nothing of note. Hogan and Savage chase them out of said booth. Hogan vs. Anderson II next week.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was pretty good considering it’s just a TV show. On the other hand, I’m about five and a half months into this show now and the problem is clear: we’re almost exactly where we were in September when this show started. Hogan is the ultimate force, Savage is his lackey, Flair is top heel, Giant is an X factor and it’s Hogan vs. two stables. While the details have changed, it’s the same thing we had almost six months ago. The NWO really was a huge deal as it changed everything. Now get us to that point! Weaker show here than usual and not good given what’s coming.

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So this is an infamous show online for one match which I’ll get to later. It more or less changed a good portion of wrestling due to a joke for smarks and smarks alone, but it didn’t go well. Also it shows the issue of worked shoots. Other than that, Hogan vs. Giant in a cage and Savage vs. Flair for the title. Riveting I know. Savage won it back on Nitro and this is the like 9th world title match between them. Not sure if that’s an exaggeration or not.  Let’s get to it.

I have no idea who that person is that they got to do the voiceover here, but he needs to stop. Totally unfair to let a guy that hasn’t gone through his voice change yet do work like this. Tony talks about how you settle a feud in a cage. True I guess. We have to have a cage match after one guy fell off a roof right

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Now take notes here you fans that want to learn how to be technical master. This is going to be what NOT to do. It’s a street fight which means hardcore in WCW terms. The Nastys are wearing tennis shoes. Why? Apparently it’s so they can move easily. Sure why not. We’re already on the floor. The Public Enemy bailed on Heyman for a little while but they would be back. Sags wears Rocco out with a chair. Nice shots.

We bust out a table and Rock goes through it. But remember, WCW NEVER stole anything from ECW. Pay no attention to WCW using ECW guys and doing their signature ECW stuff. Pay no attention to it at all, because WCW NEVER used any ECW stuff. Simply misunderstood. Bobby tries to figure out what plundah is. Bobby, as a promoter said to you many moon ago, USE YOUR BRAIN and stay out of there.

Dusty isn’t someone you want to try to understand or want to understand for that matter. There’s only one referee here of course, which is just idiotic. Grunge throws soda in Knobbs’ eyes. Dusty says it was acid. Ok then. We go split screen. This can’t be a good thing.

They’re all spent now so this slows WAY down. Fans kind of care but not really. Rock misses a dive from the stands and crashes through a table. Knobbs pins him. This was just idiotic. On a replay we see Rock getting suplexed through a table. The problem is the table doesn’t break where he lands on it. Nice job of protecting stuff there guys.

Rating: D-. Just a brawl here but nothing of note here at all. It just wasn’t very good at all, even for a big sloppy brawl. I have no idea what the point of this was but it didn’t work well at all. Just boring and I think I’ve padded this well enough.

Konnan reads a promo in Spanish, thanking the fans. He reads it off of a teleprompter but whatever. Gene mentions that on the hotline there’s a rumor of two WWF guys jumping here in a few months. Any guesses who those two would become?

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hey they’re a spot lower on the card! DDP has nothing left but his money so he’s putting that up here vs. the girl and the title. Kimberly is more or less a cheerleader here. They have a massive check that just says CASH on it. It’s so beyond stupid I can’t even fathom it. You can see someone that looks a lot like Linda Hogan in the crowd. These two usually have good chemistry so I can live with that.

Badd throws him over the top but they of course alter the rules AGAIN saying that Badd was on the apron and it might not have been deliberate. This is one of my favorite aspects of these matches as I get to hear the excuses for that idiotic rule. Most amusing. Badd counters more or less everything Dallas does which is pretty decent I guess you would say. The crowd is into this so I can’t complain much.

Bobby makes a great point: Badd is trying to win the money so he can hand it to Kimberly? Why? What can Badd gain here? He’s beaten DDP like 4 times now and can lose his title here. What can he gain here? Kimberly’s acting makes Stephanie look like Meryl Streep. Page is in control but he does NOTHING but showboat after he hits a big move. Even Heenan is yelling at him about it. He hit a tornado DDT and literally walks around yelling at the fans and Kimberly for FORTY seconds.

Badd doesn’t move at all the whole time. DDP isn’t very good. Like at all. He just isn’t very good at all and it’s kind of pitiful. Not sure why but it just comes off like that. Pedro Morales is shown. Pay no attention to the two count and the crowd popping during that shot of Pedro either. I’m sure it meant nothing at all. We’re about 10 minutes into this and Heenan says Badd has been worn down these past 20 minutes.

Did he get beaten up by a bus full of nuns before the match? Did a wild moose stomp him for not paying him for that six dollars he borrowed? Top rope sunset flip gets two. A pretty bad Batista Bomb gets two. They trade sleepers. I’m a bit bored here. And then Badd hits a Tombstone of all things for the pin.

Points for them using something other than their finishers to end the match. There was supposed to be one more match at Uncensored but Badd left to become Mark Mero like a little coward. At least that’s what they called him after it. Badd would drop the belt to Luger before leaving.

Rating: C+. Not bad I guess, but DANG I’m tired of seeing these two fight. This is what, four straight PPVs for them? We get it: DDP can’t beat Johnny B. Badd. Do you need to tell us that a thousand times? It was competitive, but there was no way Page was winning and everyone knew it.

Harlem Heat talks about their title match against Sting and Luger who beat them for the titles recently. Booker was clearly better than Stevie back then. Apparently the winner of this next match gets to fight the Road Warriors later in the night. Not for the titles mind you, but for the chance for a future title shot. Makes sense right?

Ok apparently later is for the tag titles. At least that makes more sense.

WCW Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat

Apparently the Road Warriors are guaranteeing the champions retain. I wonder who is winning here. Luger pulls an Eric Young and gets scared by the pyro. That’s rather amusing. Was Sting EVER not a champion? He was one of the only guys that wasn’t crushed by Hogan, which was nice as I was and still am a Sting fan. Tony and Bobby get into a debate about wrestlers on rollercoasters. Just go with it.

Sting and Booker start us off. That’s a plus. Also it’s nice to see a career tag team like Luger and Sting. They feuded at times, but they at least teamed together on and off for years. The main thing here is Sting is pure face and Luger is about half heel at least. They don’t get along, but they’re really good partners. Actually the not getting along part is a stretch. They get along, but Sting really doesn’t like Luger’s tactics.

And now we talk about the double main event for no apparent reason. If WCW announcers stayed on topic for more than 8 seconds at a time I’d be STUNNED. Did Luger ever hit that big elbow he would use? I don’t think so. Apparently no one comes to WCW shows and there is no TV, as Tony says the only way to watch WCW, not WCW PPVs but just WCW, is on Pay Per View. Got it.

Thanks for admitting no one watched Nitro Tony. Luger gets a clothesline to the chest. That looked weird. Stevie messes up a powerbomb. That was AWFUL looking. Stevie proceeds to hold Luger’s neck with no visable pressure on it. Wow that’s idiotic looking. And let’s look at the crowd. Sure why not?

Booker is in now and continues to bore the heck out of the crowd in his control of Luger. Sting gets a tag and the referee doesn’t see it. Sting comes in anyway. Love face tactics like that one. And here are the Road Warriors to hit Stevie in the ribs with something metal. Luger falls on top for the pin. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. It’s not bad at all I guess, but dang this just wasn’t interesting at all. Should be noted that Sting didn’t see Animal hitting him in the ribs. This was just boring though and while the wrestling is ok, I just wanted it to end in the second half.

Gene asks Luger about the ending but Luger cuts him off. Sting still doesn’t know about it I don’t think.

US Title: Konnan vs. One Man Gang

So like I mentioned in the Starrcade review, Gang won the title and Konnan took it from him. Here’s your rematch. Konnan actually cared at this point and it was very apparent. He’s moving all over the place at this point and doing all kinds of weird and big spots that are working really well. To be fair though, I could give Gang a run for his money I think.

Konnan runs around and beats up Gang for about two minutes, as in the first two minutes of the match, but Gang gets one shot in and Dusty proclaims that Konnan has barely been on offense. That’s just amusing. A side slam is called a side salto. Apparently Gang has been called one of the best men in the business for years. What kind of undiscovered years are those Tony? Konnan is selling well too here which is helping a lot also.

Let’s show the WCW NASCAR driver for like 30 seconds. Not like we can have anything of note going on in the ring at the moment. There was a WCW Motorsports? Since when? Gang hits his splash and pulls him up. That should more or less seal this one. Gang goes to the middle rope (called the very top by Tony) and misses to ZERO, I mean ZERO reaction. Konnan goes up and hits a front flip onto Gang for the pin. Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. Again, One Man Gang as a title contender? What in the heck were they thinking??? This was again just bad and the crowd was deader than Konnan’s career. Terrible match.

The Road Warriors will get the tag belts tonight apparently.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Pillman

This is the match I was referring to earlier when I said there was a massive smark joke. This is a strap match where you have to get your opponent to say I RESPECT YOU into a microphone to end it. Fair enough. Pillman sprints to the ring and they have a very unconventional looking fight. It looks very, dare I say, real?

Pillman gets a few shots in, Sullivan gets a few shots in, and then Pillman runs over to the referee, grabs the mic and famously says “I respect you….booker man.” He then leaves. The never even got the strap unraveled to put it on their wrists. After standing around for a bit, here’s Arn Anderson for an impromptu match.

Rating: N/A. This might have broken 45 seconds. Explanation coming in a minute.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson

Anderson is in street clothes here. Seeing him in shorts is weird. Anderson takes his shirt off and we’re getting a match apparently. The Horsemen had been feuding with the Dungeon of Doom in case you were looking for what Anderson had to do with this. If nothing else there’s a point to having Anderson there so it makes sense.

Anderson grabs the mic and has to stop himself from cursing. He beats the living tar out of Sullivan and neither guy will say it. Flair finally runs out and says that this doesn’t need to happen, saying they don’t need to fight, more or less starting the Alliance To End Hulkamania. Flair saved this segment. Flair rants about Hogan and leaves.

Rating: D. Not even a match but for something totally unplanned to fill about 5 minutes this was fine. I’m going to cut this grade short to get to the explanation. Can’t really blame them in an impromptu situation though.

Ok, so what the heck just happened? In short, everyone, including Anderson and Flair, just got worked. Sullivan and Pillman cooked up this idea to have a “shoot” match and a “shoot” angle. This was back in the day where smarks were gaining accessibility to information via the internet. The biggest bit of news was that Sullivan was the booker for WCW, as in he picked most of the matches that aired.

The fans found this out, so Sullivan and Pillman did this kind of as a nod to them. There was one problem: They didn’t tell ANYBODY else. To everyone but them, Pillman had just totally broken kayfabe on national TV and walked out on a match. Sullivan knew what was going on, but the announcers didn’t, the fans didn’t, the executives didn’t, and the wrestlers didn’t.

They threw Anderson out there to try to put on something to make it look “real” in a kayfabe sense and I guess Flair came out there because they didn’t know what else to do or he was the planned ending of the other match. Anyway, later that night Pillman and Sullivan explained what was going on to the roster and a few executives and smoothed a lot of this over. Obviously Sullivan let them keep going with it because it was about half his idea.

So I think the next night on Nitro, Pillman did another “shoot” (remember that it’s all planned but it comes off like it’s real, as in real life real but it’s still all planned) where he says he wants out of his contract and to be released. Here’s where it goes insane: WCW RELEASED HIM. The very higher ups, as in the guys that handled contracts, didn’t know that this was all planned and the roster was in on it, so they let him go.

The thing was, Pillman had no problem with leaving and was in ECW like a day later. He hung out there for a couple of months and then was in WWF free and clear. Now, Bischoff in his book claimed to know about this and that it was all planned for Pillman to go to ECW, but no one other than Bischoff has ever made anything close to such a claim. In short, I don’t buy Bischoff knowing about this for a second.

For one thing, Sullivan had control over the on screen product to an extent so it’s not like he would have needed Bischoff’s permission for this. Also, with Bischoff stealing talent from ECW at the time, such as Konnan, Benoit, Malenko and Psicosis to name a few, something tells me there was NO WAY Heyman would have been in the mood to let Bischoff have a favor like that. As a worked shoot though, this was one of the best ever as even Flair and Anderson bought it apparently.

Giant and Jimmy Hart say they’ll beat Hogan tonight. He’s still not any good on the mic, but he’s trying.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Sting/Lex Luger

There’s a very nice little face/heel thing as Sting slaps hands but Luger, who is behind him, doesn’t. Nicely done. Luger tries to leave but Sting talks to him and gets him to come back. Thanks for wasting our time like that. And now we do that again. Is this in Memphis or something? Seriously we’re just waiting around here. Heenan gets a good line in by saying that the Road Warriors were at a restaurant today and 4 people hung their coats on their spikes.

Dusty calls them the Legion of Doom. I think that’s been said in WCW before but I’m not sure. Hey Sting is in! Luger….not so much. Luger runs AGAIN. This is rather annoying. He hasn’t been in the ring yet and was introduced 3 minutes ago. Ladies and Gentlemen, LEX ORTON! Sting could dance a softshoe and it would be more entertaining here. Four minutes plus and he’s FINALLY on the apron.

Dang I was looking forward to Sting dancing. Wow that’s an odd thought. Sting takes a dropkick and sells it like he got shot. This is a bizarre match. The Road Warriors are wrestling them. This is weird stuff man. Luger comes in and not a lot changes at first. The challengers are mad at him over some undisclosed thing done on Nitro. Apparently Luger screwed them over somehow and they’re mad about it.

Yeah they’re mad and they’re using arm bars. Why does this seem idiotic to me? Sting gets a top rope splash that misses. That looked awesome though. Sting might be the most complete wrestler ever. Is there a point to this anywhere in the near future? I highly doubt it.

We get the big brawl and naturally there’s a double DQ. This is the closest we would get to a showdown here as Sting and Booker would team up at Uncensored to fight them in a dumb and complex angle. Just terrible.

Rating: F+. What the heck was the point of this? Seriously, the Road Warriors were trying to wrestle. Yeah it failed completely. Just a terrible match overall and it came off really badly. I was bored out of my mind for about 15 minutes and that’s rare for me.

Flair says his usual stuff. His facials are of course great though.

Savage’s bad arm which was good at World War 3 is now bad again. Savage got the title back after losing it at Starrcade which isn’t mentioned yet. The cage is lowered.

Liz, looking GORGEOUS in a tight blue dress, is interrupted by Savage who looks especially awesome for no apparent reason. He naturally talks about Hogan before doing his regular promo. My cousin looks like Liz actually. Minus the whole now dead part.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Yes, Hogan goes on last, ahead of the world title. For those of you that read my TNA rants, this is where I got the idea that he would do stuff like that. Woman was hot back in the day too. To say Liz was gorgeous would be an understatement. Flair cuts a short promo and more or less laughs at Savage. And say it with me: he stalls. Savage goes at him like a crazy man. Always good to see a character being able to act like himself in there.

Remember the top on the cage? It must be invisible. Naturally there’s no top on it. That doesn’t make this a cage match. It makes it a fence match. And two minutes in, Flair punches the referee. Ok then. Well at least he’s Flair so it makes sense. Flair gets a backslide but there’s no referee. He’s back up like 20 seconds later. Was there a point to that that I’m just missing? They mention there’s no Benoit so far tonight.

Yeah we can have the Nasty Boys vs. Public Enemy, One Man Gang getting a TITLE MATCH and two Sting/Luger matches, but we can’t fit Benoit, a Horsemen, on the card. See what I’m getting at when I criticize Hogan’s questionable booking practices? Guys like Benoit, one of the most talented workers of all time, can’t make a PPV card? Seriously? Give me a break. Is there a referee shortage tonight?

This guy has refereed like three matches so far. Savage hooks a figure four on Flair which is always a nice touch. Unless Dusty does it. Then it just freaking sucks. For no apparent reason, Savage lets go of it. Ok then. Savage goes to the top of the cage. Being the rocket scientist that he is, he climbs down and keeps the title. Naturally he doesn’t jump down while he has a ten second advantage that a feeble old man could have managed to escape the cage inside of.

Nah he couldn’t do something like that. Only an idiot would do something like that. Not Savage. Nope not him. He’s too level headed to do that. The match is already over and he’s in the shower. OH OF COURSE HE JUMPS ON FLAIR.

Flair controlling now as I wonder what kind of crack most faces are on to be so stupid. Has there ever been an intelligent main event level face? I mean dude, CLIMB THE HECK DOWN! Figure Four is let go of again, this time by Flair. ARE THERE ANY INTELLIGENT HEELS??? Woman can scream louder than Melina. Think about that for a minute. Flair is bleeding. And there go his trunks. Can we fast forward on that part?

Savage gets a cover and they ring the bell early. Did the ring announcer just release early after seeing Flair’s trunks go down? Seriously? That can’t be a good sign. Dare I say Flair is sauntering? It certainly looks like he is. And now we see them come down againAGAIN. DANG IT USE TAPE OR SOMETHING! And now Savage and he are on the top rope where he pounds Flair from behind while he’s exposed. I love double entendres.

Flair apparently is energized by ramming his head into the cage. The door is opened for no apparent reason. Due to Flair’s heavy bleeding, we go to a wide shot. When I say wide I mean you can see the second or third row on all sides. Woman throws powder that misses. Liz turns heel by giving her shoe to Flair as we get a nod to the Mania 8 ending as Savage rolls Flair up for two.

A shoe shot to the face gives the title to Flair. Seeing Liz smile is worth it. Great to see the new champion’s face in that wide shot where you can see half the crowd. Hogan comes out to chase the girls (write your own jokes) and goes after Flair and Anderson, who just ran down here, with a chair but it doesn’t work. Tony says nothing can be done about the cheating because it’s basically a cage match. I thought it was a cage match literally but then again I’m no professional.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a legit surprising ending. It’s no classic, but it’s good indeed. Flair vs. Savage had a tendency to prove that main event matches could be classics without Hogan being involved. Hmm and oddly enough Hogan consistently beat them both for the title. I wonder if there’s a coincidence there. Anyway, very good match.

Hogan rants about Liz and has one eye bandaged thanks to a shoe to the eye last week. He says he now has no guard on his blind side. Boo hoo.

The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s another cage match. Yeah we couldn’t end on the great cage match. We need HOGAN BLAST IT! Giant is introduced as the man that literally returned from the dead at Halloween Havoc. Why can no one learn the meaning of that word? Hart is called a dapper gentleman. What the heck ? LOUD Hogan sucks chant just after the bell rings. That’s just amusing. But remember, the fans don’t know what they want and they really love Hogan.

Seriously, what do you expect here? It’s Hogan vs. a monster in a cage match. You know the drill I’m sure. Dusty says Hogan doesn’t fight for money or anything like that. WOW. Giant stomps on his fingers. That must have made rubbing lotion on his 19 year old daughter difficult. Poor choice of words. Actually it isn’t. Giant pulls Hogan to his knees and Tony credits it to the fans and Hulkamania.

I would say taking a shot every time the announcers suck up to Hogan is a great drinking game but in reality it’s a recipe for suicide. The announcers point out the idiocy of not going for Hogan’s eye when there’s a huge bandage on it. Actually you could argue that going for the other eye would be smarter but you get the idea. Ah now he’s going for the eye. There we are. Might not be a good idea to suggest having Hogan fight blind.

It might give him an idea to throw a fireball at someone so they’ll make a big comeback while blind. Sadly, that happened against Warrior in 98. Naturally it didn’t work and Hogan nearly lost his eyebrows when throwing the fireball. That might be the worst match ever. Sweet goodness this is boring. No use of the cage yet either. Say it with me: perfect timing on that. And now let’s hit a bearhug. Brain thinks you wouldn’t want to lose your sight.

The fans are seemingly bored here. They still love Hogan though. Oh I know: they’re holding their breath in fear for their hero right? The chokeslam is called a chokehold. And remember, Schiavone knew all kinds of dives and planchas at Starrcade, but with Hogan he doesn’t know that when you choke a man and slam him at the same time it’s a chokeslam. Sure why not. Oh NOW it’s a chokeslam.

Tony makes me cringe by saying Hogan came back from the chokeslam like Giant came back from FALLING OFF THE ROOF OF COBO HALL. Yes, a chokeslam is equal to falling off a roof. Only in WCW. Three legs hit and Giant sits up like Undertaker. Tony cracks up laughing. Great selling there buddy. They fight on the top rope, Giant falls with a THUD, Hogan climbs over and we’re done.

Rating: F+. On a house show, this is a fine main event. For one of the biggest PPVs of the year, this was boring. Just boring on so many levels and nothing but a massive blowjob for Hogan from the announcers. Just 15 minutes of Hogan praise, but we’re not done yet.

Hogan gets in the ring with a chair and here comes the Dungeon of Doom. I count 8 people in there, including Giant. THEY DON’T LAND A SINGLE SHOT. Hogan literally is beating up 8 guys on his own. And here’s the Lock Ness Monster, a guy that weighed 700lbs that was there like four months.

He can’t get in because the Dungeon holds him back. Read that as he’s too fat to get through the door. Yes, Hogan just beat up EIGHT GUYS ON HIS OWN AFTER A FIFTEEN MINUTE CAGE MATCH AGAINST A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION. I can’t believe what I just saw. Oh wait. It’s Hogan. Sure I can. Abyss’ theme music takes us out.

Overall Rating: D-. Just WOW. There is one good match on this card. One. That’s it. That match was the world title match and of course, Hogan BEATING UP EIGHT GUYS AT ONCE goes on last. When I say he beat them up, I mean no one touched him. It was like seeing an arcade master play the first level of an easy game. That’s pitiful. How deep did he bury those guys with that nonsense?

Do you have any idea how bad they look now? Seven of them are FRESH and they can’t get a single shot in on a guy that’s had a 15 minute match. I mean seriously, how inept did they just look? To top it off, Hogan would get a cage match against most of them plus 2 more monsters and would beat them officially with the help of Savage next month.

It was those two matches that more or less killed any realistic credibility he had as a face for years, resulting in the heel turn. This was an abomination and is only what it’s rated as because of the good world title match and the passable TV Title match. This was horrible and it can more or less be solely placed on Hogan and his pushing of his buddies. Just awful. GET US TO THE NWO!

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First and foremost, this was on my first birthday, meaning the day I was born, a year prior to this, as in the day of my birth, isn’t my birthday. I’ve never understood that. Anyway, this is more or less the big moment for the Mega Powers Exploding as we have the Mega Powers vs. the Twin Towers and one other televised match.

This is live by the way. It’s one of those cards where you have the full card and then two matches or so on TV. Let’s get to it.

We open with a graphic about the tag match complete with a fake newspaper talking about how big and awesome this match is. That’s so corny that it’s awesome. A recap video follows it as basically the Twin Towers are always going after Hogan, Savage and Liz. This is complete with the newspaper thing every time. This is so over the top that it’s great.

I miss the SNME theme song and since this is a spin off it’s the same song. Rock on.

The Twin Towers and Slick cut pure 80s heel promos which are still awesome. I love this era so I’m probably overblowing it but you get the idea. Dang Boss Man is huge. The thing they keep pushing this as is three against two which two can’t win.

Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers

This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.

Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.

Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.

Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.

Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.

And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! NOT MY PROBLEM!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.

We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.

FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the tar out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.

Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald moron right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.

Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.

Hogan goes to the back where Savage is losing his mind, talking about how the champion is supposed to be #1 to Liz who is laying on the table with apparently NO ONE checking on her at all. We now get the greatest promo of Savage’s career as he just goes off on Hogan, ranting and raving about how Hogan has stolen the spotlight from him since day one and how if Hogan wanted a title shot all Hogan had to do was ask and he would have beaten him 1-2-3.

He talks about how Hogan is jealous and lusting after Liz before DRILLING with the belt and beating the living heck out of Hogan in probably the biggest heel turn in company history at the time. I’d put it ahead of Andre as it was on a bigger stage and Savage’s promo was better.

Beefcake comes in for the save and Savage just ends him with like two shots, showing how worthless he was at the time. Savage leaves Hogan laying. Totally AWESOME segment and one of the best promos that I can ever remember anywhere with Savage letting out a year of frustration and paranoia all on Hogan with everything he said making perfect sense for once. Great segment and well worth checking out.

Hercules vs. Ted DiBiase

In short, DiBiase bought Hercules and referred to him as a slave, causing Hercules to rebel and turn face in the process. Obviously no one cares at this point after their minds have been blown to Mars at this point by what they just saw. The announcers rightfully talk about almost nothing but the Mega Powers which for once I’m fine with.

We cut to an interview with Hogan which isn’t going to happen. Instead we’re told he’s in no condition to talk. No music for DiBiase yet. Hercules jumps him before he can take the fake suit off and beats up Virgil for fun. All Herc so far as DiBiase’s movement in the ring is still impressive over twenty years later. Ted finally sends Herc to the floor.

The crowd is staying in this one which is kind of surprising. Herc keeps having those power kick outs which are always kind of cool. Very basic match here but fairly well done. Then again I like both guys out there so that might have something to do with it. Powerslam by the power dude means it’s time for…Hercules to charge and have no apparent move in mind.

Virgil wraps Herc’s chain around the buckle but DiBiase goes into it for two. Hercules gets his backbreaker (torture rack) but Virgil grabs the leg, allowing Ted to get a quick rollup with the tights to end it. DiBiase gets beaten up a bit post match but it’s nothing special at all.

Rating: C-. Just a match to fill in some time after the huge angle earlier on. It’s not bad or anything but there was nothing that would separate this from a house show match or something like that. It’s ok enough though and more or less blew off this mini feud which is a plus I guess.

Hogan literally grunts and grumbles about Savage. There are no sentences or anything like that but just random words. He sounds like the Incredible Hulk or George Steele before running off and screaming RANDY in a funny moment.

Slam of the Night is about Jake Roberts who has nothing to do with this show at all.

Vince and Jesse talk a bit.

More of Hogan who can now say Macho as well. He randomly beats up Jim Neidhart, grabbing him by the beard and slamming him into a wall. Dang man ticked off Hogan is awesome! He shoves various other people including Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. He keeps looking as we go off the air. This was kind of awesome actually in a weird way.

Overall Rating: B+. This was all about setting up Mania and the huge heel turn and to say it worked was an understatement. All of a sudden Savage is this mega heel after being unbeatable for the past year and you have Hogan who never lost the title clean to challenge him. Naturally this happened on PPV and drew MILLIONS.

The wrestling here is just ok but this did exactly what it was supposed to and more so it’s definitely a win. I doubt you can find a complete show without looking for a long time but DEFINITELY check out Savage’s promo and the match if you can as it sets it up. Both are available on the Best of Saturday Night’s Main Event DVD which I highly recommend as well. Good show.

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Do you like these feuds and stories that spread over multiple Wrestlemanias?  The matches are almost guaranteed to be good as only major stars are used in these things, but would you prefer to see them be one off matches rather than spreading out over years?

The more I think about it, the more I think I like these stretched out stories.  The Undertaker matches have stolen the show the last four years and it’s pretty clear that Rock vs. Cena II will be awesome as well.  Also it’s not like they do this for multiple stories a year every year so it’s hardly something dominating the shows.

Back to 1995 WCW because all of the time I had suffered through it wasn’t enough I guess. This is another attempt by me to end this far too long stretch of stuff I’ve done with WCW. Tonight, the main event is Hogan/Savage vs. Butcher/Sullivan and we also get Sting vs. Avalanche because…well because someone has to fight him I suppose. I’m not looking forward to this but let’s get to it.

We run down the card which includes a video of Savage shaking Hogan’s hand instead of slapping him in the face at Starrcade. You know, because that would have made things interesting and such.

Flair may be here, despite being retired.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd

This was voted on by fans. Anderson has Colonel Parker with him as manager at this point and is champion. This is a rematch after Anderson stole the title earlier in the month. Fans are walking around in droves in the crowd. Badd takes over and Anderson chills in the corner to break the momentum. Anderson takes over for a few seconds but for some reason tries to go up top. His career record up there is worse than Flair’s so Badd dropkicks him down to the floor.

Badd adds a big dive to the floor and works on the arm in the ring. The idea here is that Anderson can’t keep up with Badd’s speed. The announcers talk about how WCW had the only wrestling show in the top 100 cable shows. This is pre-Nitro so that’s on the weekends only, which is pretty impressive. Johnny tries to jump over Arn in the corner but gets caught and clotheslined on the top like a Stun Gun.

Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long and Arn keeps control. He sets for the traditional jump off the rope into the boot but Arn, ever the genius (no sarcasm) landso n his feet and drops an elbow for two. Badd starts his comeback and knocks Anderson out cold to the floor. Colonel Parker pours water on Anderson and Chase the Manager begins. Badd comes in but gets caught in a DDT to end this.

Rating: D+. This started off pretty well but after that it fell apart quickly. This feud would go on at least until Uncensored where they had a boxing match for not much of a reason. This went nowhere after it became a kick and punch and chinlock match. It could have been worse, but this was a clearly screwy ending coming a mile away.

Kevin Sullivan says that Flair and Vader both may be here plus a guest for Vader. Sullivan says that even though Hogan is surrounded by friends, he’s going to get stabbed in the back. Butcher (Beefcake) says nothing significant in his heel promo.

Video on Alex Wright, who was a hot commodity at this point.

Alex Wright vs. Bobby Eaton

This was far more common back in the day: take a guy like Eaton and put him in the ring with a guy like Wright and let Eaton make Wright look great. It was very common back in the day and very effective. Wright grabs an armbar which doesn’t last long. A headscissors takes Alex down but we’re right back to the arm again. Alex misses a dive and lands on the top rope as Eaton takes over.

Eaton hooks a chinlock and this isn’t going anywhere for the most part. Wright grabs a suplex but hurts his own neck on it to shift momentum again. Spinwheel kick puts him down and a missile dropkick gets two. This really isn’t as good as they were expecting I don’t think. Cross body for two. Eaton pops up out of nowhere and hits the Alabama Jam (top rope legdrop) for two but Wright hits another cross body for two.

Rating: D. This didn’t do much at all for me here. The first few minutes were really boring and then after that, the whole thing was nothing but Wright hitting something for two and then hitting another one of something he hit earlier for the pin. I know Eaton was good but this didn’t work at all for me.

Gene talks about Hogan vs. Vader and how they can’t fight until SuperBrawl. Here’s Vader (US Champion at this point) who says Race might be here tonight and he has a ticket for him. He asks who is the man and gets a mixed response. Vader has looked for Hogan everywhere but there’s been no Hulk. He says Hogan is hiding but Vader will have a ticket tonight.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Stars N Stripes

Bagwell/Patriot are the challengers. And they’re late. Instead….here’s Ric Flair. He was retired at this point due to the events of Halloween Havoc. Heenan goes over to shake Flair’s hand, being the suckup that he is. Flair takes a seat in the front row. Here are Stars N Stripes. Booker vs. Bagwell to start with Bagwell hammering away. This is a return match after the Heat basically stole the titles.

Bagwell dropkicks him to the floor and the challengers clear the ring. The fans chant USA. Why can’t Harlem Heat be patriotic? They’re from New York which is certainly part of the United States. Patriot hammers away on Stevie and works on the arm a bit. Really basic tag match here and not much to say for the first three to five minutes.

Bagwell is getting beaten down at the moment, taking that spinning forearm smash for two. The fans show their anti-New York sentiment again. The announcers talk about why Vader has two seats at ringside since Harley Race isn’t here. Heenan: “Maybe he’s going to use the other chair to crack Hogan over the head.” A few seconds of silence pass. Tony: “Maybe he’s going to use the other chair as a weapon.” Heenan never got a break.

The champions keep beating down Bagwell but Sherri gets on the apron to keep the tag from being noticed. The American comes in anyway and everything breaks down. Sherri’s shoe comes in somehow and Bagwell gets an O’Connor Roll on Stevie. Booker kicks his head off to reverse the control though and the Heat keeps the titles.

Rating: D. Total meh match here. This felt like they were told there had to be a tag title match so here’s a quick one so that we can say we had one. It’s not that the match is bad but rather that it’s painfully boring. The Heat would hold the titles for like 5 months until the Nasty Boys won them after they lost them. Long story, don’t ask.

The Monster Maniacs (Hogan/Savage) say exactly what you would expect them to say.

Off to the Control Center which discusses SuperBrawl. One of the things we learn here: Vader has a ticket to tonight’s show. Top notch reporting there Gene!

Sting vs. Avalanche

Guardian Angel (Big Boss Man) is guest referee. Big brawl to start and I think it’s going to be a safe bet that if you’ve seen one of these Sting vs. monster matches you’ve seen them all. Flair has left his seat. Avalanche drops an Earthquake on Sting but poses instead of covering. You know, because THAT has a great track record. There’s a powerslam for two. Sting takes him down and does the falling headbutt to the balls spot. There’s the Splash in the corner and make it two of them. Ok three and the fourth sets up a slam for the Scorpion to end this.

Rating: C-. Dull match but Sting’s incredible charisma helped it a lot. The splashes in the corner worked well enough and the slam is always impressive. The inherent problem with WCW at this time though was that none of these monsters ever got a pin, which really hurt things after awhile because this feud would go on for almost a year.

Nick Patrick came out to call the submission. Angel got in Sting’s face and they brawled, with Angel helping for a double beatdown on Sting. Alex Wright and Stars and Stripes make the save.

Angel says he was disrespected. He says he’s Big Bubba Rogers again.

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Sullivan/The Butcher

Vader is up and all annoyed for Hogan’s entrance. Flair is back in his seat now also. Hogan and Butcher are set to start us off but Butcher stalls like a true southern man. Savage comes in and this is totally one sided to start us off, which is about what you would expect. Back to Hogan who beats on Beefcake even more. Hogan hits a jumping knee (called a boot by that moron Schiavone) but Butcher hooks the sleeper, which put Hogan out at the last Clash.

Now we get one of the weirdest moments ever in wrestling history. Butcher puts Hogan out with the sleeper but lets go early ala Adrian Adonis at Mania 3. The heels celebrate so Savage comes in to wake Hogan up. It doesn’t work, so Savage goes up top and drops the big elbow on Hogan. For absolutely no logical reason at all, this wakes Hogan up and he’s fine again. WHAT SENSE IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE??? I mean who came up with that idea??? Cocaine is a powerful drugs kid.

The heels start cheating and take over with evil tactics, including throwing Savage to the floor. It turns into a standard tag match with Butcher and Sullivan hammering away on Savage. Savage is on the floor and is all shaky as Hogan checks on him. I think they’re playing up that he might have a concussion without saying he’s got a concussion. Back inside he gets rammed by the Tree of Woe because Hogan got drawn into the ring.

The sleeper doesn’t work and Savage kicks Brutus away for the hot tag to Hogan. Notice the pretty weak pop for him coming in for the save WCW. Everything breaks down and Savage drops the elbow on Brutus but Hogan gets to drop the leg for the pin, because goodness knows we can’t have the new guy get the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s just a main event tag match and not a very good one. The problems that WCW had are really showing themselves here: Hogan never loses. I mean he never even got close to losing. He never broke a sweat here and Savage doesn’t even get the pinfall. Also, having Kevin Sullivan and Brutus Beefcake as the top heels didn’t help anything. Vader got beaten up by Hogan so much that he gave up and went to the WWF.

Vader comes in post match for the big staredown. Vader beats him down easily and powerbombs him….and Hogan pops right back up, showing that Vader has zero chance at all of beating him clean. Hogan and Savage clear the ring and stand tall. As Vader leaves, he manages to plug the show: “The champ goes down February 19 in Baltimore. Be there and witness history!” He shouts that at the camera as he leaves. See how simply you can add something to the show’s build? Why is that so hard? Oh because we need things trending on Twitter right?

Hogan and Savage pose for two minutes to end this. Running short on time I guess.

Overall Rating: D. This was boring. That sums up WCW in this year: everything was predictable and only Hogan and his friends got significant time. Not an interesting show at all and not even a big commercial for SuperBrawl (which sucked) really. It wouldn’t be helped at all until Giant came in around October to FINALLY give Hogan a challenge. Bad show, and this whole year isn’t worth watching.

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