NXT
Date: May 31, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Michael Cole

Another elimination tonight and I have a feeling it’ll be Saxton because that’s the guy that doesn’t need to be gone.  O’Brian will continue to be around and waste all of our time because he has no character and nothing of interest in the slightest overall.  Cannon and O’Neil are definitely the strongest out there and I’d be ok with either winning….I think.  Anyway let’s get to it.

Todd calls this trimming the fat tonight.  At least they admit some of these guys are worthless.

Striker and Maryse are with the rookies in the ring.  They bring out Cole for one night only.  Oh dear.  For some reason he’s doing commentary tonight instead of Regal.  Blast it all.  Cole says this is where he got his start.

We go over the Redemption Points aspect which are there in the event of a tie.  O’Neil is miles ahead of everyone so there’s no point in even listing them off.  Tonight you can earn 3 points (Titus is up by 12) in Tag Team Turmoil.  It’s rookies and pros as teams here.  First though, let’s hear why you shouldn’t get eliminated tonight.  Conor sucks up to the crowd and says he’s not done sacrificing for the business yet.  Cannon says if you’re not a fan of his yet you’re deaf, dumb and blind.  He doesn’t need the fans and has an ace up his sleeve.  He looks at Maryse and says make that a queen.  Todd: “Is he looking at Striker?”

Young says he’s been at the top the entire time.  He shouldn’t be on NXT because he was in the main event of Summerslam.  It’s about time someone brought that up.  Young says he should be challenging Cena and that the entire NXT show is a joke.  Saxton says he doesn’t need to explain why he should be voted for.  He got rid of Tatsu last week and the real question is why wouldn’t you vote for him.  Titus says he is bigger, badder and better than anyone else in the competition.  Horny comes out and Young goes after him as Titus saves.  Tag team turmoil is next.

Tag Team Turmoil

 

If you’re unfamiliar, the idea is two tag teams start us off and they have a match.  The losers are eliminated and the winners advance to face another team.  Last team standing wins and there are five total teams.  We start with O’Neil/Horny vs. Cannon/Kidd and the rookies go first.  And yeah, this is rather boring indeed.  Horny can’t get in due to reasons of HE’S A FREAKING LEPRECHAUN and my signal cuts out.

Back and it’s Saxton and Tatsu in there now instead of O’Neil and Horny.  Apparently there was a commercial in there so at least I didn’t miss much.  Yoshi takes over on Kidd and it’s off to Saxton.  Cannon grabs a chinlock on him as Maryse is in Cannon and Kidd’s corner.  Yoshi wants in but Saxton wants to do this by himself.  Cannon and Kidd keep tagging in and out like an actual team while Saxton is being a big meanie.  I’d prefer a blue one but you take what you can get I guess.

Cannon channels his inner Flair to use the ropes for two.  This is another fine example of the really boring matches these guys have.  None of them are particularly good in the ring and none of them are interesting at all.  Saxton fights back against Kidd but takes FOREVER on the ropes and jumps into a big boot for the elimination.  Kozlov/O’Brian are in next.  Why do I have a bad feeling they’re going to win here?  There’s a break before this next part begins.

It would be nice if the commercials on this show were longer than 45 seconds.  You can’t do anything in that amount of time.  During the break Kozlov send Kidd flying to the floor with a fallaway slam.  And because he’s like a fungus, here’s JTG.  Seriously dude, go away.  No one likes you and your pets are being sacrificed to Satan.  Your friends hate you, your family hates you and you’re going to eternal torment.  Go away.  Did I mention I don’t like JTG.

The distraction shifts the momentum again as JTG is on commentary.  If it seems like I’m not watching the match, it’s because I’m trying to stay awake here.  JTG doesn’t care who wins this and it takes ten seconds to get through that joke.  Cannon stomps away on O’Brian as this has been going on nearly 15 minutes now.  JTG gets his rookie’s name wrong because he’s an annoying person.

Since we’re not bored enough, here’s a headlock by Cannon to O’Brian.  Hot tag to Kozlov and much destruction is seen.  Iron Curtain ends Cannon and we’re down to Chavo/Darren Young vs. Kozlov/O’Brian.  Here’s another break because we haven’t had to sit through enough yet.  Back with Kozlov beating on Young as the crowd is SILENT.  Off to O’Brian who hammers on Young a bit.

Off to an armbar as even the camera guys are bored with this match so they keep the camera on JTG.  Chavo comes in to take over and hammers away.  Young gets a shot off the top and a two count so let’s go BACK to the resthold.  They hit heads off a whip into the corner because they hadn’t reached a level of boring high enough yet.  Double tag brings in the pros and Chavo jumps into a headbutt to the chest.

A spinwheel kick puts Vlad on the floor where Young gets in a shot.  O’Brian apparently went off to get a hot pretzel because he’s not helping here.  Back in the ring now for even more slow paced stuff.  I can live with a long match like this if it’s interesting.  By that I mean if ANY part of it is interesting but this has been five straight boring NXT matches.

The heels tag in and out a lot as Vlad reverses a double suplex at the twenty five minute mark.  And remember, it’s for a total of three points.  O’Brian comes in but can’t get a pin.  Three Amigos take him down but the third is blocked.  Vlad is sent to the floor and O’Brian hits something like a Saito Suplex for the pin on Young at 26:00, which might be longer than Cody vs. MVP for longest match in NXT history.

Rating: D. Here’s a great example of where long doesn’t mean good.  This was painfully boring the entire time because in short, none of these ten guys are interesting for the most part.  They’re definitely not interesting enough for five straight tag team matches of about the same length.  Boring match the entire time and WAY too long.  But at least it’s the only match of the night.  Now someone kidnap JTG and feed him to something with sharp teeth.

Obama ad.  I can’t stand this anymore.

The Bellas, the chicks that made fat jokes at the expense of a pregnant woman last night, want you to stop bullying.  The irony of this campaign never ceases to amaze me.

Saxton is gone.  Well of course he is.  I mean, he can talk and has a decent look so he has no business being here over a guy as universally talented as Rat Boy right?  They make it way too easy to predict who’s going home on this show.

Overall Rating: D. Well I’ll give them this: they had wrestling.  The amusing thing is that on a 45 minute long show, there was more wrestling than on Impact, a two hour show.  I know I blast that a lot, but dude that’s embarrassing, especially when they preach that it’s about wrestling over on Thursdays.

Anyway, while it was boring, they at least did have something in the ring for over half of the show, so definite points for that.  This is something close to giving them credit for trying, as they had a show focused on wrestling and the rookie/pro relationship, but it was boring in execution.  I’ll take this over the stupid challenges any day though.

Results

Conor O’Brian/Vladimir Kozlov won tag team turmoil, last eliminating Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young

Byron Saxton was eliminated in 5^th place

NXT
Date: April 19, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

Week I think seven here as I’m starting to think no one is ever going home.  I don’t mean that as hyperbole either.  I’m thinking that it might be just one winner declared at the end rather than having eliminations.  We don’t have much going on here probably as it’s another show in England which rarely get anything other than a token title change.  Let’s get to it.

It’s interesting to me that all of the major shows in a major city like London are in the same city.  Not saying it’s a bad thing but when you have shows in multiple major arenas in multiple cities in the same state in the same week at times normally, it’s kind of interesting to see.

One other note: I’ve been having very bad connection issues all night so I’m not sure if my internet is going to hold up 100% through the show.  I’ll do the best I can though.

First up we have the joust challenge and there’s no Striker this week.  The joust this time is a tug of war on the pedestals.  There are three random matches and whoever Maryse says does best goes to the finals.  O’Brian beats Saxton, Novak beats Young (WITH CONTROVERSY!!!!!  They went off at the same time and had to go to the replay) and Cannon beats Titus by DQ because Titus tried to pick up too much rope or something.

This is flying by as they’ve done the first three in maybe 2 minutes.  Cannon goes to the finals for being the most obnoxious.  Ok then.  Novak beats O’Brian and then Cannon (who gave up) in the finals to win.  This took less than five minutes combined.  Novak gets two points.  Novak steals Cannon’s robe.

That’s What I Am ad.

JTG introduces Novak who is apparently a street guy now.  He’s privileged to be an American apparently.  It’s time to talk to Regal whose name gets a solid pop.  Saxton and Kozlov cut them off and it’s time for O’Brian vs. Novak.  Oh joy.  What is this, their 5^th match?

Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian

 

Novak takes over early and gets a clothesline to put O’Brian down.  We’re in the chinlock less than two minutes in.  The lack of charisma here is so high it’s unreal.  Novak puts him down with a big boot as the fans chant for Regal.  O’Brian gets a rollup for a quick three abut the referee says shoulder was up, despite him slapping the mat three times.  O’Brian grabs a rollup which Novak yells at Regal to end this at 3:03.  Man I have to grade it.

Rating: D-. Jacob Novak has managed to reach a level of boring that I didn’t think existed.  I mean good grief this guy is just not interesting at all.  They’ve tried to give him the character of being made a street guy by JTG and it doesn’t fit him but that character doesn’t fit him (I hope that made sense to you because it only kind of did to me).  O’Brian isn’t any better.  The problem is they have no characters and are just people with names that wrestle.  There were names for those kind of people back in the 80s: they were called jobbers.

Post match Novak shoves Regal who charges at him until JTG gets between them.

We recap (thankfully not re-air) the Morrison/Truth segment from last night which was a pretty good heel turn I thought.  The recap is actually rather good, making the whole beating seem epic and making Truth look like he’s completely evil.

Saxton and Yoshi talk about Maryse in the back.  Saxton says slow it down a bit.  Yoshi says it’s cool.  Maryse comes up and asks Yoshi to come shopping with her.  Yoshi gets a kiss on the cheek and pays no attention to what Saxton suggests about their tag match later on.

Hornswoggle vs. Darren Young

 

Young is blindfolded and has an arm tied behind his back.  Apparently Young shot his mouth off backstage and Chavo “just happens to have a rope right here.”  What kind of freaky stuff is Chavo up to when he’s waiting on his matches?  Also whose side is Chavo on here?  He just happens to have a blindfold in his pocket too.  I know you can make the argument that Chavo had time to get this stuff, but where do you find rope and a blindfold in a foreign city on such short notice?  Odd indeed.

Regal randomly talks about how he used to manage the five Spice Girls but now at his age he can only manage two.  It was as random as it sounds.  This is exactly what you would expect it to be.  Horny moves around and when the referee is distracted Young cheats by moving the blindfold with his right arm.  Young gets shoved off the ropes and Horny hits the Tadpole Splash to end it at 1:28.  This was one of those comedy matches where they left out the comedy.

Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon/Tyson Kidd

 

WOW I completely forgot Kidd was on this show.  There’s a lot of time for this match too.  Maryse is at ringside here.  The rookies start us off but Cannon wants Yoshi.  I know this because he shouts I WANT YOSHI.  Off to Tatsu whose music sounds like constantly saying the word chimichanga.  Listen to it over and over again and you’ll hear it too.  This isn’t just me being random.  Regal is talking about ground beef for some reason.

The pros are in there rather quickly and Kidd can’t get a backslide.  Tatsu gets an appropriately Japanese armdrag and works the arm a bit as it’s off to Saxton.  Bryon has the armbar on with his back to Yoshi yet Yoshi has his arm out for a tag anyway.  Jumping back elbow gets two for Byron.  Off to Yoshi again as Regal talks about how he would never be able to make it in this kind of environment.  I’m not sure what you can really draw out of that but there’s something there.

Kidd gets kicked in the face and clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Cannon holding Saxton in a modified triangle choke.  That lasts a few seconds as we have to see a replay of what happened during the break.  Kidd jumped Cannon apparently to give his team the advantage.  Off to Kidd again who gets the dreaded “aggression” tag put on him.

Sunset flip by Saxton gets two but he can’t keep the arms down.  Regal actually has a name for getting the legs over the arms, which is apparently called the double legged nelson.  That’s a new one on me.  Saxton tries to fight back but gets kicked in the head by Cannon to take him back down.  Cannon gets him down and hammers away while yelling at him.  “It’s all” *WHACK* “about” *WHACK* “ME!” *WHACK* Not quite Magnum and Tully but it’s something I guess.

Saxton fights back and it’s a double tag to bring in the pros.  Tatsu takes over and a big kick gets a long two.  The crowd is starting to get into this now.  That says something about the rookies I think.  Shining Wizard gets two.  Yoshi sets for something but Cannon hits on Maryse.  Yoshi gets distracted and a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza from Kidd ends him at 11:26.  And yes that’s the real name of the move.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but it might be the longest match of the entire season so far.  The rookies weren’t that interesting and Saxton was in there for too much of the match to keep it interesting.  He’s not the worst of the rookies by far but his in ring work leaves a lot to be desired as far as being past the basics goes.  Not a terrible match but nothing great at all.

Overall Rating: D. Well the main event wasn’t terrible but the rest of the show isn’t interesting other than the Maryse thing if you really stretch it.  The problem at the end of the day is simply that the rookies aren’t very good with the main two here being Novak and O’Brian.  O’Neil has a look, Saxton has charisma, Cannon is a decent heel and Young is the best in the ring and has some experience.

Then you get to O’Brian and Novak.  What in the world do these two have to offer?  Whatever WWE thinks it is, I’m not seeing it.  They’re not charismatic, they have no characters, they’re not anything past average at best in the ring, they get zero reactions, and yet they’re here again.  If you cut those two off, this show goes WAY up in value, yet there wasn’t a single word about eliminations again tonight.  Not a horrible show as they cut down on the Raw stuff, which makes sense as there wasn’t as much on last night’s show.  Anyway, not terrible but Novak and O’Brian are killing this thing.

Results

Jacob Novak won the Pull Through Challenge

Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup

Hornswoggle b. Darren Young – Tadpole Splash

Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Fisherman’s Suplex into a spinning neckbreaker to Tatsu