Ric Flair’s Last Match
Date: July 31, 2022
Location: Nashville Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, David Crockett, Ian Riccaboni

We had to get here eventually and I’m not that happy about it. This is a show that I haven’t really wanted to watch since it was announced and that hasn’t changed since. While I absolutely respect what he did in the ring, I’m not the biggest Flair fan and seeing him do something this risky isn’t something I particularly needed to see. The good thing is that this is a full show and the undercard looks pretty awesome, but it’s all leading to one thing and that has me dreading the show. Let’s get to it.

This is billed as a Jim Crockett Promotions event for old times’ sake.

Pre-Show: Ren Narita vs. Yuya Uemura

They go with the grappling to start and get to a standoff as Crockett seemingly has no idea who either of them are. Tony doesn’t either, but at least he seems more interested. Narita gets the better of a chop off (Crockett: “They wish they could be Ric Flair.”) and kicks him in the back a few times, only to run into a dropkick.

A running clothesline in the corner sets up a running bulldog out of the corner before starting in on the arm. Something close to Antonio Inoki’s cobra twist has Narita in trouble but he comes back with a German suplex for two. Back up and they slug it out until Narita counters a charge into a belly to belly suplex with a bridge for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: C. This isn’t designed to be a great match or anything close to it but they were able to go out there and do their moves until one of them got the pin. That isn’t a bad thing and it works very well for a spot like this. Good enough match here as Narita and Uemura continue to showcase themselves well and grow in front of your eyes.

Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Sinn Bodhi, James Storm, Bully Ray, Mance Warner, 1 Called Manders, Gringo Loco, Kommander, Joey Janela, Kal Herro, Big Damo, Blake Christian, Crimson, Jordan Oliver, Rickey Shane Page, Wolfie D, Effy, Matthew Justice, Crowbar

It’s a brawl to start (of course) but after about a minute, here is Nick Gage to lead a GCW invasion, as he promised last night at a GCW show. Storm hits Herro with the Eye of the Storm and tosses him out and there goes Damo as well. Some double teaming takes Crimson out and Loco moonsaults out onto Damo to eliminate himself. Kommander runs the top rope and eliminates himself as well and Janela tosses Wolfie D.

Bodhi whips out a spare ring rope for some choking but gets kicked out. Effy crotches Crowbar on top and plays D-Von in an old What’s Up. The Ray tosses him, as well as Justice, Manders and Oliver in a roll. We’re down to Warner, Ray, Storm and Janela, with the latter two being knocked out. Ray drops Warner and loads up a table, with Warner being powerbombed through. Then Warner tosses him to win at 11:23.

Rating: D+. You’re only going to be able to get so much out of this as it was a pretty fast battle royal with an invasion angle going on in the middle. Warner winning is fine, and it was nice to see them go that route instead of the expected way with Storm or Ray. Not much to see here, but you know what you’re getting with a battle royal.

Warner wins a cowboy boot and belt buckle because of course he does.

Bob Caudle (92 years old on Tuesday) welcomes us to the show and sends us to ringside.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. American Wolves

Scott D’Amore is on commentary and Chris Sabin works on Davey Richards’ wrist to start. Richards spins out and kicks the arm for the break, only to get armdragged into the corner. Edwards comes in but Shelley tags himself in and slaps on a sleeper. The Guns start taking over in the corner with the alternating kicks but Richards comes back in for a cheap shot. Some alternating kicks put Shelley down and commentary starts making Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express comparisons.

Richards puts Shelley down and gets a running start to kick Sabin off the apron. The Wolves grab stereo submissions but Sabin Edwards away and into the other two for the double break. Richards dragon screw legwhips Shelley’s knee onto the ropes but misses a top rope double stomp. Shelley takes both Wolves down at once and the hot tag brings in Sabin to clean house.

The missile dropkick/Downward Spiral combination drops Richards for two but Edwards is back in with a superkick. Edwards’ backpack Stunner sets up the top rope double stomp with Sabin having to make a save. Sabin cutters Edwards and it’s the Dream Sequence for Richards. Skull and Crossbones finishes Edwards at 10:49.

Rating: B-. This was the kind of hot opening match you want to have and it worked well. These teams are going to have a solid match against each other through talent alone and that was on display here. The Guns are one of the best teams of their generation and the Wolves were good if you can handle Richards, making this a fast paced opener, as it was designed to be.

Video on some great moments of Jim Crockett Promotions.

Various wrestlers are here, including Vickie Guerrero, Santino Marella, Al Snow and Mick Foley.

Killer Kross vs. Davey Boy Smith Jr.

This is an MLW showcase. Scarlett Bordeaux is here with Kross, who has hair for a weird look. Smith drives him into the corner for a clean break to start so Kross takes it to the mat. The headscissors is escaped with a nip up and Smith cranks on the arm. The hammerlock goes on and we go to a wide shot for no apparent reason. They trade belly to back suplexes before a slugout goes to Smith. Back up and Kross pulls him into the Krossjacket but Smith flips back to escape. A t-bone suplex drops Bulldog again and it’s the Quickening (running forearm to the back of the head) to finish for Kross at 5:25.

Rating: C. They kept this one quick but the only thing that mattered was the belly to back suplexes. Smith is someone who should have all of the tools to be a top star but the lack of charisma hurts him a good bit. Then you have Kross, who feels like a killer (appropriately enough) and just isn’t that great in the ring. Mix those two together and you have something, but for now it’s two people missing something important.

More legends (Booker T., Shawn Michaels), plus Will Sasso, talk about what Ric Flair means.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Konosuke Takeshita vs. Alan Angels vs. Nick Wayne

The winner gets a future Progress World Title shot and I’ve never actually seen Wayne. He gets A LOT of praise though but I’ve never seen a match. Ian Riccaboni joins commentary to spruce things up a bit. Gresham seems a bit more enthusiastic here than he did at Death Before Dishonor. Angels and Gresham start things off but Gresham is sent outside and since lucha rules (because of course it is), Wayne comes in and sends Angels outside. Takeshita comes in with a running clothesline to put Wayne on the floor but it’s too early for the dive.

Gresham is back in to kick Takeshita down but Angels takes Takeshita’s place. Back in and Takeshita forearms Angels down before blasting him with a clothesline. Wayne grabs a Code Red for two on Angels but has to flip out of Takeshita’s German suplex. The Blue Thunder Bomb drops Wayne for two and everything breaks down. Angels and Wayne moonsault off the top and out to the floor for the big crash. Back in and Gresham drops Takeshita and Wayne, setting up the suicide dive to Angels. Gresham takes Angels back in and, after shrugging off the cradle attempt, tied Angels up for the rollup pin at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced match with so much crammed in that it felt like it could have been twice that long. Gresham is the most successful star here and him going on to the title match makes sense, though Wayne was looking smooth while he was in there. Takeshita was good as usual, with Angels continuing to be fast but small, which leaves him as just kind of a person.

Cody Rhodes sends in a video talking about how great he and his dad both think Flair is.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Brian Pillman Jr./Brock Anderson

That would be Ricky and Kerry Morton with Robert Gibson in their corner to counter Arn Anderson. Pillman and Brock have the 1990s Horsemen shirts to make things extra awesome. Nick Aldis joins commentary as the revolving door continues. I’m not sure if the bell rang but Pillman and Kerry start things off with Pillman taking him down without much trouble. They trade wristlock reversals until Kerry kicks him in the face to take over.

Pillman gets caught between the Mortons and pingponged back and forth with right hands. Brock comes in and wants Ricky, who kicks him into the corner and hammers away. It’s back to Kerry for the double dropkick but Brock takes Kerry into the corner for the tag off to Pillman. Kerry manages to send Brock into Pillman in the corner for a breather and the hot tag brings in Ricky. Everything breaks down and a Pillman cheap shot sends Ricky into a gordbuster to give Brock the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. I get what they were going for here and the Express vs. Horsemen theme was a good idea, but Ricky and Kerry doesn’t have the same ring as Ricky and Robert. Pillman is someone else who seems to have a bunch of the tools but it hasn’t quite clicked yet. The match was another case where it wasn’t bad, but nothing I’ll remember in about five minutes.

JJ Dillon is here.

Bandido vs. Black Taurus vs. Laredo Kid vs. Rey Fenix

It’s a brawl to start with Taurus clearing the ring early on. Fenix and Kid are left alone with Kid shrugging off a chop and hitting a tornado DDT. A tiger driver plants Fenix but Kid misses a dive. Taurus comes back in and gets kicked in the face in the corner. Bandido is back in as well and gets caught with a rolling cutter from Fenix. Bandido sends Fenix outside and hits the one armed gorilla press on Kid.

There’s the running headscissors on Taurus but Kid knocks Bandido outside. Taurus dives onto everyone at ringside and then beats them up back inside as well. Bandido catches Taurus up top but he’s fine enough to super gorilla press Kid back down. Everyone is staggered and Taurus is sent outside, where Bandido nearly breaks his neck on a dive but manages to turn it into a Destroyer on the floor.

Bandido takes Kid up top for a super backflip fall away slam down onto Taurus and Fenix and everyone is down on the floor again. Back in and Taurus plants Bandido but Fenix makes the save with a top rope double stomp. Fenix’s Samoan driver finishes Taurus at 11:50.

Rating: B. When you put these four on the card, you do it so they can have a match like this. They had a very entertaining match with all kinds of high spots and fast paced action, which is all you would have needed here. It’s not about making sense or having any logic behind it, but rather about popping the crowd every chance they can. As usual, it worked.

Jim Ross wishes Flair well and thanks him for everything.

We recap Impact Wrestling World Champion Josh Alexander defending against Jacob Fatu. This is the match that got my attention more than anything else so this should be a heck of a fight.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Josh Alexander vs. Jacob Fatu

Alexander is defending and Fatu is part of the Anoa’i family with the nickname of the Samoan Werewolf. Tom Hannifan joins commentary this time around. Fatu charges at him to start and Alexander hammers away in the corner. Back up and Fatu uppercuts his way out of trouble, only to get elbowed in the face. Alexander starts cranking on the ankle but Fatu, who is built like Umaga, is back up with a running hurricanrana.

Fatu goes up but gets superplexed right back down. That doesn’t slow Fatu down, as he runs the corner and hits the Whisper In The Wind into a handspring moonsault, because he can do that. The running hip attack misses in the corner though and Alexander is back to the ankle. A powerbomb onto the knee gets two on Fatu, who is sent out to the apron.

Fatu’s slingshot is broken up and the running crossbody to the back puts him on the floor. Fatu is fine enough to run Alexander over and the top rope moonsault gets two back inside. Alexander manages to roll some German suplexes, only to walk into a pop up Samoan drop. Then Mark Sterling and the Major Players run in to jump them both for the DQ at 10:30.

Rating: B. Yeah this worked and the ending was about all they could have done. You don’t want one of the top stars of either promotion losing so doing the run-in is as logical as it gets. I could still go for Fatu to get a spot on a major roster at some point in the future because he is one of those freak athletes you do not find very often. Alexander continues to be one of the best stars going today and having him as the centerpiece of Impact is a great idea. Good match here and I expected nothing less.

Post match the beatdown is on but Diamond Dallas Page of all people runs in and Diamond Cutters Matt Cardona for the save.

An attempt at an interview with Jeff Jarrett finds his father Jerry Jarrett….and Jerry Lawler too. Lawler helped train Jeff so he’s ready to see Flair lose in his last match. Flair stole the strut from Jackie Fargo and ran out of Memphis the first time he faced Lawler, so it’s time to get rid of him for good. Lawler can still cut a fine enough heel promo.

Briscoes vs. Von Erichs

That would be Marshall and Ross Von Erich, Kevin’s sons. Ian Riccaboni is back on commentary as Mark takes Ross down to start. Marshall comes in to slam Mark but it’s off to Jay for a running clothesline. The Briscoes take over on Ross in the corner and the Von Erichs are sent outside for a big dive from Jay.

Back in and Jay hammers on Ross but a shot from Marshall puts the Briscoes in trouble for a change. That doesn’t last long as Jay gets over for the tag off to Mark and house is cleaned in a hurry. A shotgun dropkick sends Marshall into the corner as everything breaks down. Redneck Boogie is broken up and Marshall’s claw slam only gets two. Jay’s neckbreaker sets up the Froggy Bow to finish Marshall at 7:48.

Rating: C+. I haven’t seen the Von Erichs in a bit and they have gotten a bit better since then. It’s nice to see them looking more polished in the ring, which comes with experience. That being said, the Briscoes are one of the best teams of this generation and there is no shame in losing to a team that good. Nice enough match here, but the Von Erichs were overmatched.

Sting is grateful for Ric Flair.

We recap Jordynne Grace defending the Impact Knockouts Title against Rachael Ellering and Deonna Purrazzo. Not much of a story here but we need a women’s match on the show.

Impact Wrestling Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo vs. Rachael Ellering

Grace is defending. They trade the rapid fire rollups to start with no one being able to get anywhere. Purrazzo is sent outside so Grace and Ellering shake hands before starting up as well. Grace sends her into the corner and hits the running knees to the back, with Ellering seems to have hurt her ankle. Purrazzo is back up and sent right back to the floor, leaving Ellering to hit an STO into a middle rope spinning legdrop for two on Grace.

Back in and Purrazzo can’t get the Queen’s Gambit on Grace so Ellering comes in to beat on both of them. Grace spinebusters Ellering, who gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar from Purrazzo. With that being a problem, Grace grabs a choke on Purrazzo for the break. Back up and the Grace Driver plants Purrazzo and a rear naked choke makes Ellering tap to retain Grace’s title at 9:11.

Rating: C+. Another match that was fairly fast paced but without a ton of drama for the main event. Grace is a heck of a powerhouse and a good champion while Purrazzo has been the star of the division for a good chunk of the year. That left Ellering there to take the fall and it came at the end of a perfectly decent match.

We recap the main event, which is Ric Flair having his last match because he wanted to do it one more time. Then Jay Lethal no showed a podcast so Flair ripped into him, despite the two of them being friends. Jeff Jarrett wasn’t pleased so he and Lethal beat Flair down, drawing blood, because of course they did. Flair got Andrade El Idolo, his son-in-law, and the tag match is set. If this sounds not so great, it’s because it isn’t.

Undertaker and Michelle McCool are sitting next to Mick Foley.

Ric Flair/Andrade El Idolo vs. Jay Lethal/Jeff Jarrett

Karen Jarrett is here with Jeff and Jay. Jeff even shoves Conrad Thompson during his entrance so you know it’s serious. Flair, wearing the Big Gold Belt (looks to be the original too), uses the WWE version of his theme with the WOO to start. Kid Rock is at ringside (because of course he is) and Flair is wrestling in a sleeveless shirt, which is probably best for everyone at the moment. Flair and Jarrett start things off but it’s off to Lethal before anything big happens.

Lethal takes him down without much trouble and we’re at an early standoff. A headlock takeover takes Lethal over but he’s back up for an exchange of slaps in the corner. Lethal wants Andrade, who springboards in, making this a pretty run of the mill match instead of what we’re here to see. Some elbows to the face put Andrade in trouble but he’s fine enough to hiptoss Jarrett.

Flair comes in so Jarrett bails before hitting that strut. An Irish whip is blocked and Flair does his own strut, plus a crotch chop for fun. Flair chops away and kicks an interfering Lethal low, which is enough to send Jarrett up the aisle for a breather. Back in and Andrade gets in some kicks to Lethal’s ribs, allowing Flair to choke away in the corner. Some chops put Lethal down and Andrade comes back in, only to get taken down as well.

Now Jarrett can come in to stomp away, setting up another strut. Lethal’s Black Machismo (a name that has Crockett VERY confused) ax handle gets two on Andrade and the basement dropkick gets the same. Andrade counters a belly to back suplex from Jarrett but they bump heads for a double knockdown. The tag brings in Flair, who gets a Figure Four on Lethal but Jeff makes the save.

Karen slips in a high heel to bust Flair open, meaning Megan Flair (Ric’s daughter/Conrad’s wife) goes after her for the catfight over the barricade. Flair pokes Lethal in the eye to escape but gets taken back inside, where you can see him being VERY blown up. Lethal hits a suplex with Andrade having to make a save, leaving Lethal to hammer away even more. Hail To The King misses though and the tag brings in Andrade to clean house. A middle rope DDT gets two on Jarrett and Lethal superkicks Jarrett by mistake.

Andrade poisonranas Lethal and the ref is bumped, which is all this match needed. Flair tags in, despite laying on the apron at the time. Flair literally crawls over to Lethal for a cover but there’s no referee, so Jarrett brings in the guitar. That hits Lethal by mistake (duh) so Conrad throws Andrade some brass knuckles. Flair uses them on Jarrett and the Figure Four goes on. Cue another referee so Flair can pin the unconscious Jarrett (in the Figure Four) at 26:48.

Rating: D+. That’s about as generous as I can go as this was one of the hardest things I’ve sat through in a good while. Flair looked every bit of 73 years old out there and that was one of the worst possible outcomes. Seeing him laying on the apron and barely able to move was sad and the match was overbooked beyond belief in ways it didn’t need to be. If this is a ten minute match and they keep things as quick as they can go, it could have worked, but trying for some epic deal was a horrible idea.

The other problem is who was in there with him. I know there is a history/connection with most of them, but you would have go to pretty far down the list of Flair’s history to find Lethal and Jarrett. It comes off more like “here’s the best we can get to say yes” rather than someone special. The other problem is that needing them to be in the ring so long so Flair can recover left us with an only so interesting handicap match.

All in all, this is about what you had to expect: Flair talking up the match rather well and not being able to deliver in the ring. It was a passable match with the other guys in there, but this was all about Flair and at the end of the day, he wasn’t able to make it work. Cut this down to about 10-15 minutes and it could have worked, but it felt like Flair was dragged through this rather than going out on a happy note.

Post match Flair goes to ringside to thank some legends (Undertaker, Foley and Bret Hart, who are sitting together) before talking to Tony Schiavone. Flair talks about how he can’t believe how great this was and he’s in one of the best wrestling towns in the world. Then Kid Rock told him he was here to be entertained, just in case Flair didn’t have enough pressure on him. They’re hitting the town tonight, which isn’t quite how I was expecting such a speech to go.

Andrade hands Flair the Big Gold Belt and Flair hugs Lethal to end the show.

We get some credits, including a montage of Flair photos and Bob Caudle giving us the signoff (as he did back in the day).

Overall Rating: B-. This is a weird one as the main event is awful but that’s the only thing on the show that matters. I’ve heard this compared to a big boxing pay per view where no one watches anything but the last fight and that makes a lot of sense. The rest of the show was quite good and works as a heck of an indy show, but the main event didn’t work and dragged everything else down.

The other problem is the feeling of the show, as it might have been nice to have one more match, but it felt forced in a way. It’s like Flair decided it was time to praise him again and everyone had to line up with their nice things to say. The problem is they did that fourteen years ago on a bigger stage and after a better match. It didn’t feel fun or special, but rather “ok, he got what he wanted so let’s try to have a good time”. The Flair stuff was sad, and as good as the rest was, that’s all that mattered.

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2019
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Philadelphia and unfortunately that probably means more ECW guys taking up a huge part of the show. That being said, I’m almost scared to see what they might come up with next. Why they need to come up with anything new is beyond me as they have a lot of talent who can have some awesome matches when they actually put in the effort. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We recap last week’s show, which was quite the all over the place show.

Opening sequence.

Cousin Jake vs. Ace Austin

Jake’s cousin Cody is in his corner. Austin gets in some pushups before we start but he can’t get in a drop toehold. Some kicks to Jake’s back work a bit better and a hurricanrana takes Jake down. Austin low bridges him to the floor and, after the handstand on the apron, kicks Jake in the face. A running flip dive is blocked though and a running crossbody against the apron gives Jake two. Back in and Austin gets body blocked out of the air but Ace avoids a charge in the corner.

That means a paper cut with the Ace of spades and a top rope Fameasser gets two on Jake. It’s time to start on Jake’s arm with a variety of pulling. Some chops just annoy Jake so Austin kicks him in the head instead. Jake blasts him with a clothesline for a double knockdown as Cody cheers Jake from ringside. A Michinoku Driver gives Jake two and there’s a running shoulder n the corner. Cue the Desi Hit Squad to go after Cody though, allowing Ace to hit the Fold for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C. Actually a nice little match here but then again I’ve liked Ace since he first showed up. Jake is fine for a powerhouse in the ring when you get rid of the ridiculous gimmick. As usual, Impact does a lot better when it comes to the wrestling parts rather than the talking and character stuff, but that goes for a lot of companies these days.

Taya Valkyrie doesn’t want to hear about Rosemary again and it’s not Taya’s fault that Rosemary is obsessed with her.

The announcers chat about the show.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary

Non-title and Rosemary still has Su Yung on the chain. Taya takes her down and hammers away to start, followed by some kicks in the corner. The fans certainly seem to like Taya strutting around the ring and hitting a Meteora in the corner. Rosemary is right back with the Upside Down but a missile dropkick misses. Something like a Sling Blade takes Taya right back down and a reverse DDT gets two. It’s off to a Koji Clutch of all things….and here are James Mitchell and Havok (a monster who used to be part of the Knockouts division) with the latter taking out Rosemary for the DQ at 4:28.

Rating: D+. This was a storyline match instead of something worthwhile and that’s ok. What might not be ok is this Mitchell vs. Rosemary story continuing, as it seems to just keep going for months on end. That being said, having Havok in there at least offers a fresh direction and it might actually be able to go somewhere for a change.

Post match Havok lays out Taya and Rosemary as Mitchell certainly approves. Havok lets Yung free.

The Rascalz are ready for their Tag Team Title shot and talk about the Pet Shop Boys. Trey drinks a bit.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Great Muta vs. Mr. Anderson from TNA vs. the World in 2015.

Eddie Edwards comes up to Sandman in the back because he can’t accept the new kendo stick. Eddie: “It wouldn’t be fair to Kenny.” Sandman writes KENNY on the stick and Eddie is happy.

Video on Brian Cage vs. Michael Elgin at Slammiversary.

Elgin has showed that he’s better than Cage and the path he’s clearing leads straight to the World Title. Next week, Elgin will see Cage across the ring from him instead of Willie Mack.

Madman Fulton vs. Fox Vinier/Michael Emineo

Sami Callihan slaps Fulton in the face to start and Fulton starts beating both of them up at once. Vinier is slammed onto Emineo and they’re both run over again. A chokeslam to each sets up a double chokeslam but Sami isn’t happy. He slaps Fulton a few times and says to kill them, setting up a swinging Downward Spiral to send Vinier onto Emineo for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D. Well that worked. This was the kind of destruction that you have to have with a monster like Fulton and it’s been rather effective. Sami having a bit of a cult thing going on is a good story for him and something that could go somewhere. Just keep him away from doing goofy stuff and see where it can go from here. If nothing else, tie it back into him being the first man to beat Cage and set up a World Title feud.

Post match Sami says he’s sick of the Knockout nonsense and people like Scarlett Bordeaux and Fallah Bahh embarrassing them. Actually get the Crists out here right now because we’re having the tag match right now.

Crist Brothers vs. Fallah Bahh/Scarlett Bordeaux

I certainly don’t mind Scarlett being out here, but what is up with the intergender obsession lately? Bahh suplexes Jake to start but Sami grabs his foot. That’s enough for a double ejection of Callihan and Fulton, leaving Bahh to slam Dave. A missed charge sends Bahh shoulder first into the post though and the Brothers take over. Bahh shouts a lot as the two of them beat him up, including Jake ripping at Bahh’s mouth.

One heck of a crossbody crushes Dave but Jake prevents the hot tag, which might not be the brightest idea in the world. Dave gets sent to the floor but manages to pull Scarlett off the apron before Bahh can get to her. For some reason Jake tries a sunset flip and gets crushed, allowing the tag to Scarlett. Some headscissors have the Brothers in trouble and a double high crossbody sets up Bahh’s double suicide dive.

Scarlett’s top rope flip dive takes both of them down again as the fans deem this awesome. Back in and Jake slams Scarlett, sending Callis through the roof. You mean someone is mad because they got beaten up? Scarlett is right back with a reverse hurricanrana and it’s a Doomsday Device for two on Dave (she’s from Chicago). The double Banzai Drop misses though and Scarlett is rocked, allowing Jake to hit Bahh with a roll of quarters for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C-. I’m really not sure about this one, but the negatives outweigh the positives. First of all, Scarlett did not embarrass herself in the slightest out there. She’s clearly a well trained and experienced worker so this is far from Sable back in the day. At the same time though, I have a hard time buying that Scarlett and Bahh are a real threat to former Tag Team Champions.

There comes a point where it’s hard to believe what is being presented and while they did not go past that, they walked the line as close as you can. What took me out of it was how fast Scarlett was taken down by basic offense. A slam and a missed Banzai Drop stun her? That doesn’t bode well for the future and suggests a lot of suspension of disbelief in these matches. Intergender matches can work and Scarlett has the talent to make them believable, but they have to be done right.

Post match the Crists go after Scarlett again but Tessa Blanchard makes the save, including Magnum to Jake. So is man vs. woman Tessa’s thing now? I get that she’s better than the rest of the Knockouts, but I’m not sure how well this is going to go.

Willie Mack doesn’t like the idea of Elgin taking food off his plate so it’s time to stop Elgin. Rich Swann says he has his back. Johnny Impact comes in to say that bad times are coming. Rich is about to be on the Johnny Impact diet because after Slammiversary, he’ll be ten pounds lighter.

Callihan yells at the Crists and promises to take care of the Knockouts.

Kiera Hogan vs. Jordynne Grace

Hogan hits her in the face a few times and scores with a dropkick but charges into a boot in the corner. A middle rope backsplash gives Grace two and the one armed delayed Jackhammer gets two. Kiera is smart enough to hide in the corner to sucker Grace in and choke away, followed by a basement dropkick for two of her own.

There’s something like a one knee Codebreaker for two more, but Grace is right back with a spinebuster. Some running knees in the corner have Hogan in more trouble and her attempt at a super sunset bomb goes rather badly. A kick to the head misses Grace and the Grace Driver finishes Hogan at 7:58.

Rating: C-. Hogan’s heel turn isn’t all that interesting yet as the division already has enough top heels, but Grace needed a win to get some more momentum. It’s not a good match or anything, but Grace got to show off the power and it’s not like losing to her is some devastating moment.

Konnan yells at LAX for not taking the Rascalz seriously. Santana: “They’re from Toledo!”

Moose doesn’t like ECW legends being around here twenty years past their prime and wants Rob Van Dam at Slammiversary. And he’s the heel in this?

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Rascalz

Zachary Wentz/Dezmond Xavier for the challenging Rascalz here with Konnan and Trey Miguel at ringside. Wentz and Ortiz feel things out to start as Konnan tells commentary to talk nicely about him. Dez comes in and kicks Ortiz to the floor, followed by a running double stomp to Santana’s back. That means the back to back dives to the floor as the champs are in early trouble. Back in and a Swanton into the Final Flash gets two on Santana as we take a break.

We come back with Ortiz hitting a middle rope DDT on Wentz, followed by a German suplex to give Santana two. The champs’ double teaming starts until a missed charge allows the hot tag to Dez. That means the pace picks up with a suicide dive from Dez and a tag back to Wentz. A sunset flip sends Santana across the ring but he rolls into a cutter on Dez, leaving Wentz to get rolled up for two.

Everyone is down for a bit until Dez breaks up the champs’ double belly to back faceplant. Instead Wentz gets powerslammed but Ortiz gets annoyed at Miguel for stealing his flask. The contents of said flask are spat in the referee’s face so Wentz hits a springboard cutter on Santana. Miguel comes in with a top rope Meteora with another referee (one who doesn’t seem to have been paying attention) to count the pin for the titles at 14:25.

Rating: B. The ending seems to be setting up another match but I’m not sure how far they can go with a story of the third member of the team stealing a pin. That being said, I’d like to see these teams again, but that’s partially because the Rascalz have been rather awesome since their debut. A good rematch at Slammiversary could be pretty entertaining. As for the match itself, it was the usual awesome, fast paced match you would expect from these teams.

Or not as the first referee wakes up to say it’s a DQ so LAX retains.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the best show in the world, but the lack of the ECW stars helped a lot. Throw in a good main event and an effective Fulton squash and the good was just enough to even out the bad. Tweak a few things that aren’t going so well and you could have a fine show here. The stories are interesting and, again, when they ignore the cheap nostalgia stories, they’re quite fun to watch. There was some stuff in here that could have been better, but what they had was enough to keep me interested and not get on my nerves, so they’re heading in the right direction.

Oh and because Impact: Pursuit aired last week’s episode so the only way to see this was if you watched on Twitch. They can’t even go too weeks without some kind of gaffe, but who else is going to take them?

Results

Ace Austin b. Cousin Jake – The Fold

Rosemary b. Taya Valkyrie via DQ when Havok interfered

Madman Fulton b. Fox Vinier/Michael Emineo – Swinging Downward Spiral to Vinier

Crists b. Fallah Bahh/Scarlett Bordeaux – Jake hit Bahh with a roll of quarters

Jordynne Grace b. Kiera Hogan – Grace Driver

LAX b. Rascalz when Trey Miguel interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2019
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Las Vegas and on the way to the both United We Stand and Rebellion, meaning it’s hard to say what we’re going to be seeing in the next few weeks. I’m hoping we get something fresh in the main event again like last week, as a break from the seemingly never ending World Title story was a welcome change of pace. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap and preview, this time with narration for a change. Apparently this is a special called Against All Odds. Shouldn’t that be something a little better known?

Opening sequence.

Here are LAX and the Lucha Bros for an unsanctioned fight, meaning the Tag Team Titles aren’t on the lines. The fight is on in a hurry with a worried Konnan watching from ringside. Security is out in a hurry and the fans want to seem them fight. The Bros superkick security and manage to sneak up on LAX with a pair of chair shots. Now it’s table time but LAX gets up with a pair of spinebusters to put them through the tables instead. The champs are down and LAX pose with the titles to win this round. This almost has to set up Full Metal Mayhem, which is almost all there is left.

Post match LAX and Konnan are very happy.

The announcers tell us that there has indeed been a challenge for Full Metal Mayhem. That certainly makes sense. The usual preview ensues.

Glenn Gilbertti vs. Scarlett Bordeaux

This is Scarlett’s in-ring debut. Before the match, Glenn offers Scarlett a way out of this but that’s not happening. Scarlett goes for some early rollups for two and sends Glenn outside, leaving her alone for some rather seductive sitting. Back in and Glenn throws her down by the hair but misses an elbow. A Stunner to the elbow gives Scarlett a breather and a high crossbody gets two. Glenn has had it and clotheslines her head off for two. We get the Garvin Stomp as Callis is losing his mind at all of this.

Glenn stops to dance but misses a charge in the corner and gets forearmed in the face. A running hip attack sets up a dancing Stinkface, which thankfully is over in a hurry. Glenn’s Russian legsweep into the Village People’s Elbow gets two more and he goes for the ten punches in the corner. Glenn: “I’m going to give her the ten punches in the corner.” Technical term I believe. As you might guess, he takes too long though and gets powerbombed down for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: D. This was about what you would have expected, though I’ll give them points for having an actual match instead of some lame comedy segment with a fluke pin. Scarlett being a trained wrestler helps a lot as she can do something like this to go along with all of her more signature stuff. It wasn’t good by any means, but it did everything it needed to do.

Taya Valkyrie isn’t sweating Jordynne Grace. Johnny Impact is thinking about some low carb popcorn while Cage fights Killer Kross tonight.

Post break some fans laugh at Gilbertti.

GWN Flashback of the week: Lethal Consequences vs. Beer Money from Against All Odds 2009.

We recap Gail Kim attacking Tessa Blanchard, which has forced Gail to resign.

Tessa Blanchard is happy Gail is here to apologize because she has the company by the balls. Gail may be a legend but legends come and go. Diamonds are forever.

Madison Rayne is coming back. Good? I guess? She’s fine but this isn’t exactly a game changer.

The Lucha Bros are down for Full Metal Mayhem.

Here’s Tessa to gloat about Gail Kim’s forced apology and resignation. She talks about how it’s a night for justice so Gail needs to get out here right now. Here’s a sad Gail, with Tessa saying how bad it must be to have everything taken from you. Gail apologizes but Tessa wants to know what the apology is for. Even more defeated, Gail says she’s sorry for the attack that cost her the Knockouts Title.

Gail resigned earlier today so Tessa has an apology of her own. She’s sorry that Gail’s era is known for bra and panties matches while Tessa’s era is breaking barriers. Gail is ready to leave, but there’s one more thing: she’s out of retirement and coming for Tessa. The beatdown is on and a scared/angry Tessa bails. They’ve set this up very slowly and logically….but egads I never need to see Gail around here again.

We recap last week’s main event with Rich Swann retaining the X-Division Title over Sami Callihan but being attacked by the newest OVE member, Madman Fulton.

OVE….I guess you would say mentally initiates Fulton by breaking him down and getting him to think like Sami.

Knockouts Title: Taya Valkyrie vs. Jordynne Grace

Grace is challenging. The fans are behind Grace as she busts out a cartwheel into a crucifix to start. Taya gets up a knee in the corner for a breather but walks into a hard shoulder for two. More strikes have Jordynne in trouble so she snaps off a German suplex to drop Taya on her head. They fight outside with Grace going head first into the post, followed a running knee in the corner for two. Taya chokes in the corner but stops to pose again, asking if the fans are entertained. A good spear gets one more on Grace and we take a break.

Back with Grace snapping off a suplex and avoiding a charge to send Taya into the post. That means a Vader Bomb for two but the Johnny Impact slide between the legs gets Taya out of trouble again. The moonsault misses but Taya is fine enough to block the Grace Driver (that needs a better name). Taya comes up holding her ribs though and here’s Impact to help her out for the countout at 12:45.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much here but the important thing was having Grace beat her up long enough to warrant a rematch, which they certainly did. It’s not a bad match at all and having the rematch set up is perfectly fine. The Knockouts division is really pretty diverse at the moment and they’re running several stories at the same time, which is a lot harder than it sounds. Well done indeed and hopefully they keep it up.

Post match Cage comes out before Impact and Taya can escape. Killer Kross comes out to choke and post Cage as we take a break.

Brian Cage vs. Killer Kross

Joined in progress with Cage hitting a hard clothesline to get himself out of trouble but Kross posts him again. A hammerlock slam stays on Cage’s arm and a DDT on the arm makes it even worse. Cage has to block a cross armbreaker and sends Kross to the apron for the apron superplex, which is quickly countered into an arm crank over the shoulder. Back in and we hit another armbar as it’s almost all Kross so far.

Another armbreaker is blocked with a rope break and Cage manages to send him outside as we take a quick break. We come back with Kross grabbing the Krossjacket choke but getting rammed into the corner. Cage’s powerslam gets two but he can’t manage a suplex. The Doomsday Saito gets one on Cage and he’s fine enough for a powerbomb backbreaker for two of his own.

There’s an F5 for two with Impact sneaking back in to put the foot on the ropes. Taya gets in a low blow and it’s another Doomsday Saito for….three at 15:32? I’m confused because Cage kicked out and Kross looked stunned but the referee called for the bell anyway. That sounds like a twist and maybe Johnny has a cheating referee.

Rating: C+. This was more about the angle than the match and they did that well enough. It’s smart to have some kind of screwiness at the end to cost Cage the win before his title match, which isn’t something that companies (and by that I mean WWE) tend to always get right. Kross looked dominant, though having him as Impact’s muscle still isn’t the greatest story in the world.

Post match Impact Pillmanizes Cage’s arm and kisses Taya.

The fight is on and Allie gets the better of Rosemary but can’t bring herself to actually stab her. Rosemary fights back and goes to stab Su but Mitchell has a clever to Kiera’s throat. The master comes in and it’s Kevin Sullivan of all people (makes sense really) to say Rosemary knows how this is going to end. All of this is for nothing because it’s never ending.

Su pops up with her Freddie Kruger razor glove but Allie shoves Rosemary out of the way and gets STABBED THROUGH THE THROAT, complete with blood. Kiera shoves Mitchell away (which I guess she could just do) and goes to hold Allie with Rosemary. Allie morphs back into her old self and says it’s ok and vanishes, leaving a furious Rosemary to end the show.

This was out of the Broken Hardys playbook and I liked it. Thank goodness they just got rid of Allie (while leaving a slight door open for her return) and gave us some closure to the story instead of something lame like her just leaving. The story has been over the top so far so keep it that way until the ending. I get why you might not like this one but if you’re into some off the regular path stuff, it worked.

Overall Rating: C. You could say this one was all over the place with storyline advancement, man vs. woman in something that wasn’t as comedy based as you would have thought and MURDER. That being said, this show blew by with nothing being overly bad and two major matches being set up for Rebellion. The best thing here was having enough variety that it wasn’t boring, which is a good sign. Now if only Rebellion can be awesome, they’ll be in an even better place. This show was good enough with nothing but, though nothing was really high quality. Call it a mixed bag, but certainly not a boring one.

Results

Scarlett Bordeaux b. Glenn Gilbertti – Powerbomb

Jordynne Grace b. Taya Valkyrie via countout

Killer Kross b. Brian Cage – Doomsday Saito

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2019
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

I’m not sure what to expect this week as we have the latest round in the main event four way feud, which hasn’t been great so far but last week offered a bit of a twist with Johnny Impact injuring his neck. Other than that we have the in-ring debut of Scarlett Bordeaux, which screams screwy angle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Preview/recap.

Opening sequence.

Rich Swann vs. Ethan Page

Non-title. Swann starts with his flip over Page and scores with a dropkick, only to get punched into the ropes. A reverse implant DDT gets two and a backbreaker makes things even worse for Swann. Page stops to pose again but it doesn’t seem to matter as he’s fine enough to stomp away in the corner.

A running flip neckbreaker gets Swann out of trouble and sets up the running flip dive to the floor. Swann’s frog splash (heck of a good one too) gets two but he gets crotched on top, setting up a Snowplow for two. They trade forearms, punches and kicks to the face until Swann hits a long string of them, setting up a Lethal Injection. The middle rope Phoenix splash finishes Page at 8:01.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of opener I can get behind. They didn’t stay out there too long but had enough time to put on an entertaining match with both guys getting to show off. Swann is becoming a bigger and bigger star around here and Page has put on consistently good matches for weeks now.

Post match here’s OVE to address Swann again. This is the night that Swann finally joins OVE because Swann has said that Sami Callihan is family. Swann puts on the shirt and the team poses, leaving Swann to lay the three of them out and bail in a scene that worked for Diamond Dallas Page in 1997 and works for Swann here.

LAX asks Konnan to get their rematch for the Tag Team Titles. Konnan says let him do his job and watch the Lucha Bros vs. the Rascalz.

The announcers recap last week’s injuries to Brian Cage and Johnny Impact.

The annoying interviewer tried to talk to Cage and got thrown out.

Ace Austin vs. Jake Atlas

Austin loves cards and maybe some slight of hand magic. Atlas’ wristlock doesn’t work to start and it’s Austin rolling forward with a legsweep and kick to the back. A bicycle kick gives Atlas one and Austin is right back with a double springboard kick to the face. Something like Murphy’s Law takes Austin down for two but he stomps Atlas down and hits a running Blockbuster (the Fold) for the pin at 3:29.

Rating: C-. Atlas got in a lot of offense here but Austin has the charisma and style to make him look like a star. I’ve seen him before and he’s got everything he needs to be a big deal. As usual it depends on how Impact handles him, which has been a hit or miss set of results over the years.

Johnny Impact, in a neck brace, and Taya Valkyrie join us via satellite for an interview with the annoying reporter (this guy has to be a rib on someone). Cage is getting his title shot no matter how bad Johnny’s neck is.

Reno Scum wants a rematch with KM and Fallah Bahh.

Here’s Alisha Edwards for a chat. Her contract expires at the end of this month and she has some decisions to make. She enjoys hitting people with kendo sticks but maybe it’s time to start a family. Cue the Desi Hit Squad with Rohit Raju saying it’s time for a woman to make some sense. Having a family is her job and women need to stay out of the ring. Alisha slaps Gama Singh and here’s Eddie Edwards to clean house with Kenny. The Squad beats him down but Eli Drake makes a rather slow save.

Cage isn’t happy with the reporter, who shows him a clip of something that gets on Cage’s nerves even worse.

Eddie thanks Eli but isn’t interested in going after the Tag Team Titles. Alisha says Eli is all Eddie has left so take what you can get. Eddie agrees to team up against the Desi Hit Squad next week. The one thing I get out of this: Alisha shouldn’t be talking.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week: Jeremiah Snake (Sami Callihan) vs. Eddie Edwards from last year’s Impact vs. Lucha Underground show.

Moose and Killer Kross are happy with injuring Impact and Cage. They should both get title shots and if they don’t get them, it means more pain.

The Rascalz talk about getting superpowers from a robot. They talk about wearing masks and mock Moose’s pink sports coat.

Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor/Allie vs. Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Kiera Hogan

This is the Dark War (meaning it’s fought under a red light) for Allie’s soul and I’d assume anything goes here. James Mitchell is at ringside to make things all the more evil. It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to tagging, because that’s what you do in a War. Kiera throws Yung around to start and we get the Allie vs. Rosemary showdown. At least I think we do as I can barely see what’s going on here.

Grace comes in for a heck of a release German suplex on Allie to give Kiera two but Yung offers a distraction. That’s enough for Allie to snap off a cutter and we take a break. Back with Allie clotheslining Kiera down for two, followed by the slow stomping in the corner. Su grabs an armtrap choke on Kiera but it’s back to Allie, who gets kicked in the head. The hot tag brings in Rosemary for the big showdown and everything breaks down. Rosemary drops Allie and it’s the parade of secondary finishers. Yung mists the Maid by mistake and a spear gives Rosemary the pin on Yung at 11:54.

Rating: D+. This was a run of the mill six woman tag, which isn’t what you expect from a match billed as the Dark War. I was having more problems telling who was who in the whole thing and that made for a pretty disappointing story. To be fair though, that was the case with the entire story as Allie going evil was a complete disappointment from almost every side.

Post match Rosemary puts Allie on a leash and drags her away, launching a thousand fanfics in the process.

Glenn Gilbertti is still trying to figure out what he’s doing and Konnan sends him to yell at Don Callis. A fight is teased but it’s Killer Kross instead. The lights go out and screaming ensues.

Back from a break with Gilbertti hearing Vince Russo’s voices and looking for Callis. He thinks he finds Cody and the Young Bucks but is mistaken again. Scott D’Amore says Callis is on commentary because that’s his job. Gilbertti is NOT wanted for commentary but comes to the desk anyway.

Josh Matthews brings out Scarlett Bordeaux for her first match, though I’m not sure if the full body suit and heels are the best attire. The talent search made sense because those people were all falling over themselves so they weren’t going to be a success in the ring. Gilbertti was the biggest disaster though, which draws him into the ring for some yelling. Gilbertti: “You know what’s going to happen if you wrestle. You’re going to suck.” She slaps him in the face and a challenge is thrown out. Gilbertti tells her to spend a week cooking, but Scarlett promises to make him her b**** next week.

Rosemary tells Kiera and Jordynne to leave because she’ll take care of Allie from here. Kiera isn’t happy but Jordynne says she’s good now.

Tessa Blanchard is in a #1 contenders match next week and is willing to beat Grace if she has to. It’s all just punishment for taking out Gail Kim.

Rascalz vs. Lucha Bros

Non-title with Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz for the Rascalz. Xavier and Fenix start things off and they circle each other for the first minute. A kick to the ribs has Fenix in some short lived trouble but the Bros start firing off the kicks, including a superkick to Wentz on the floor. Back in and the Codebreaker/top rope double stomp to the back combination sets up the wheelbarrow splash for two on Xavier.

Some right hands and elbows get Xavier out of trouble long enough for a tag off to Wentz and a handspring knee to the head hits Pentagon. Back up and Pentagon kicks Wentz’s leg out on the ropes but Xavier is right there with the big flip dive (launched by Wentz to make it even better) onto both Bros. Wentz’s Swanton into the Final Flash from Xavier gets two on Pentagon, leaving Fenix and Xavier to slug it out again. Pentagon is back up though and it’s a superkick into the Pentagon Driver to finish Wentz at 7:48.

Rating: B-. I could have gone for more of this and that’s a good way to end a show. The big thing here was the Rascalz hanging with the champs and looking good in a match they weren’t going to win. The Lucha Bros are going to have another match with LAX and then Rob Van Dam and Sabu (because reasons) so there wasn’t any doubt here. It was still fun while it lasted though as the Rascalz have become some of my favorites around here in a hurry.

The Bros go to the back where they run into Konnan. They ask him (in Spanish with subtitles and then English because wrestling reasons) to tell LAX not to mess with their masks because that’s not what men do. Konnan tries to calm things down and says LAX wants a rematch. That’s not happening because it’s too soon (fair) but Konnan says he’s not asking. Next time he sees the champs, they better have a date.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a good show overall with some nice wrestling including a strong main event, but there was no way around that Dark War being such a terrible result. You call it a war and don’t even have it hardcore? The storytelling worked well in spots and that’s where Impact does best. Nice show here as they keep moving forward in the right direction.

Results

Rich Swann b. Ethan Page – Phoenix splash

Ace Austin b. Jake Atlas – The Fold

Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Kiera Hogan b. Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor/Allie – Spear to Yung

Lucha Bros b. Rascalz – Pentagon Driver to Wentz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 22, 2018
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

It’s time for a holiday show and in this case, that might not be the best thing in the world. The biggest story tonight is going to be the turkey suit match, which is one of those traditions that has been around here for years despite not many people seeming to be a fan of the thing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Team Edwards vs. Team Adonis

Eddie Edwards, Garza Jr., Allie, Fallah Bahh, Richard Justice

Chris Adonis, Caleb Konley, Laurel Van Ness, KM, El Hijo Del Fantasma

The loser of the fall wears a turkey suit and there’s food at ringside, along with Eli Drake. We’re not ready yet though as the teams sit down at the food tables as Drake insists that everyone has to put on the suit if they lose. He has a statement for JB to read, which pretty much just says everyone play nice.

Justice sticks his finger in Konley’s mouth to start and gets two off a rollup. Laurel comes in and jumps on Justice’s back so it’s off to the women for a change. KM and Bahh are up next with some shots to Bahh’s head taking us to a break. Back with Bahh crossbodying KM and bringing in Garza….WHO TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! I’m rather thankful.

Garza gets punched down though and it’s time for the heel beatdown. Adonis comes in for two off a legdrop and it’s time for a bearhug (on a guy with a bad shoulder). That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and KM gets crushed between Justice and Bahh.

We get the big crash to the floor and Justice falls off the apron, only to be caught without much effort. Allie dives onto everyone to break up the pile and everyone is down. Back in and Adonis can’t grab the Adonis Lock, allowing Eddie to roll him up for the pin at 16:04, meaning Adonis gets to wear the suit.

Rating: C-. Oh what were you expecting here? This was all in good fun and nothing more than a comedy match. The match was just there for the sake of having a one off match for a holiday special and as a result, it’s really hard to be harsh on it. Adonis having to wear the suit is fine and it continues a (rather goofy) tradition. It wasn’t anything good, but it’s perfectly harmless.

Post break, Adonis refuses to wear the suit. Security actually stops him as the referee holds up the suit like an executioner’s ax. After a lot of persuading and a GOBBLE GOBBLE (One of us?) chant, Adonis finally puts it on and walks around a bit. Adonis isn’t cool with the chants though and the required food fight, with Adonis hitting Drake in the face with a pie, ends the show. This was actually entertaining as they just went with the simple comedy and it worked perfectly well.

Back in the present, Bahh selects his first name, and it’s KM. As you might have guessed, KM comes in to talk about Thanksgiving dinner.

Drake wants the interviewer to say Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal as the tumbler is spun. He gets….Katarina, who is there too. Her great grandfather was a pilgrim so Drake should be rather happy.

We see about five minutes of the 2007 edition, which ended in AJ Styles wearing the suit. See, WWE makes him a year long World Champion and Impact….makes him look like an idiot. Totally the same thing.

Video on Brian Cage cashing in Option C to challenge for the World Title at Homecoming.

Bahh, after being convinced that he can’t get Katarina flowers, draws Japanese comedy wrestler Kikutaro, who wears a pink mask and shouts a lot.

Here’s Scarlett Bordeaux to dance with a rather fetching burlesque troupe.

More Scarlett fan submissions, including one from Shark Boy.

Drake picks a name, doesn’t like it and picks another one, drawing Jake Crist. OVE comes in and Drake tells them to get this right. Sami tells Jake to not screw this up, or he has to eat the entire Thanksgiving dinner.

Some wrestlers and personalities give their favorite Thanksgiving memories.

Same Cage/Impact video.

Drake says Bahh is thankful to OVE for helping with his English (Now he can say EVERY BAHH.) and draws Rohit Raju. Geez we can’t even escape these guys on a holiday show. The Desi Hit Squad comes in to say if you get one, you get them both. That’s a positive thing?

More Thanksgiving memories.

Video on Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie.

Bahh’s final pick is Alisha Edwards. She comes in and doesn’t like Bahh’s joke.

Drake’s final pick is Glenn Gilbertti, the Disco Inferno. He wants to impress Scarlett with CGI: class, good looks and intelligence. Then the two of them will get married so Drake can be the best man.

Ultimate X is back at Homecoming.

Gilbertti takes credit for inventing Ultimate X after being told that he couldn’t throw X-Division wrestlers off the building.

Video on the history of Option C.

Team Drake (with Gilbertti looking a bit like a middle aged Terry Funk) promises to win. Scarlett comes in to say she’s scouting talent. She likes stuffing over turkey.

Tessa vs. Taya video.

Team Bahh gets a pep talk, featuring the word BAHH over and over again. KM translates, which doesn’t make it much better.

Team Drake vs. Team Bahh

Eli Drake, Jake Crist, Katarina, Rohit Raju, Glenn Gilbertti

Fallah Bahh, KM, Dezmond Xavier, Alisha Edwards, Kikutaro

Before the match, we get a pledge to wear the turkey suit if you get pinned. Whatever keeps the match from happening I guess. Katarina throws Alisha down to start and getting two off a Samoan drop. Alisha fights up and brings in Jake to face Kikutaro, who armdrags him down and hands it off to Dezmond. Drake comes in for his pop up reverse powerslam and hands it off to Raju as the fast tags continue. Rohit gets beaten up as well so Gama Singh gets in to give him a pep talk.

This time it’s Bahh getting beaten down in the corner, including a few right hands from Gilbertti. A double crossbody crushes Gilbertti and Drake so it’s off to KM and Raju. Everything breaks down and we get the Human Centipede of figure four neck locks, capped off by Bahh turning them all over in a Boston crab. Cue Scarlett in a pilgrim hat to stop the proceedings and we take a break.

Back with Scarlett sitting on a chair on the stage and Kikutaro charging into Drake’s raised boot in the corner. Drake throws on Scarlett’s pilgrim hat and it’s time for the rotating stomps to Kikutaro. An enziguri to Raju allows the hot tag to Dezmond (though you couldn’t tell by the crowd reactions). The villains are sent to the floor for a big flip dive from Xavier and Bahh knocks Drake onto the pile.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? This was harmless and stupid, but it’s not like it’s worth getting angry about. Gilbertti wearing the suit is fine for a funny ending and Bahh, the biggest star on the face team, gets an easy win. There’s nothing worth complaining about here and I think everyone knows it.

Post match Gilbertti’s partners leave and he continues the tradition of refusing to wear the suit. Scarlett comes to ringside and says she finds a man who doesn’t take himself seriously rather sexy. The suit goes on and she says he looks like an idiot as Gilbertti is greeted with a GOBBLE GOBBLE chant to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Getting annoyed at this show would be like getting annoyed at the post-Takeover episodes of NXT. This isn’t meant to be anything more than a filler show for the holiday and they didn’t present it as anything other than that. It’s not like anyone is going to be watching so why bother wasting storylines? Just a simple comedy show here and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s back to serious next week and the audience will be back then too so this was the right call.

Results

Team Bahh b. Team Drake – Banzai Drop to Gilbertti

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6