Fall Brawl 2000: WCW’s Last Good PPV

Fall Brawl 2000
Date: September 17, 2000
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,638
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

Well we have I think five or six PPVs to go in this company so this isn’t something where I would expect much. The main event is Booker vs. Nash in a cage as they’ve given up on the idea of War Games I guess. Other than that there’s a huge elimination match and Steiner vs. Goldberg, which hopefully has less shooting in it this time. Maybe we can shoot Russo. Let’s get to it.

Cruiserweight Title: Kwee Wee vs. Elix Skipper

Skipper was given the title by Storm and is a Deion Sanders ripoff that I always loved. Kwee Wee makes Rico look straight. Kwee Wee has Paisley with him, more commonly known as Sharmell, Booker’s wife. Kwee Wee had a weird double personality thing where he would go insane at times which is how he starts the match here. We go a nice wrestling sequence to start. Skipper is fun to watch and I’ve always liked him.

They botch a leapfrog and Skipper might be hurt. Hudson makes a reference to some guy named Johnny Walker from the 60s. Only Walker I know of is a whiskey but whatever. We have a WAY too long chinlock by Skipper as this is such a shell of what the Cruiserweight Title used to be. Prime Time (Skipper) does what Trish would steal and call the Matrish.

This is more like a match between two small guys than two cruiserweights. Crowd is kind of dead here but is behind the face so that’s a good sign I guess. The Natural Born Thrillers come out and I begin to smile. The Thrillers were a group of young guys that were something NEW and got pushed. Sure they were generic as all goodness but they were a freaking breath of air. There were like seven of them, led by Mike Sanders. They included Chuck Palumbo, Mark Jindrak, Shawn Stasiak, Sean O’Haire, Reno and Johnny the Bull. These guys were pretty generic, but DANG it was nice to see some fresh faces.

They don’t actually do anything as Kwee Wee comes back and beats the tar out of Skipper to no reaction at all. Skipper hits the floor and Mike Sanders comes in with a kendo stick (a stickball bat or some kind of device according to Tony) and bashes him in the knee for two. The Thrillers are gone but now it means nothing as we’re pretty even anyway. Overdrive (MVP’s Play of the Day) ends it.

Rating: D+. This was just not clicking at all. The match was dull but hey, it had a run in so it has to be interesting right? This just was nothing special at all as they just did a mat based match and then a screwjob ending. I’m not entirely sure what the point was here as the styles clash killed it. Not a good way to start but not a horrible match.

3 Count vs. Misfits in Action

The Misfits here are Sgt. AWOL (The Wall who most of you likely don’t remember) Lieutenant Loco (Chavo) and Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux). The band has a new song here that likely could have been a decent hit if sung by a “legit” band, which is either great or scary. The idea of the Misfits was that they were guys that were thrown out of storylines by Russo so they banded together as their only way to have a chance. That works well enough.

And yes, 3 Count gets a match against someone not named the Jung Dragons. Two of the boy band members are Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. The third sucks. We hear about Duggan giving the flag and board to General Rection (Hugh Morrus) and will be in his corner tonight. Yeah I’m sure this isn’t going to go badly at all for Rection.

This is a pretty basic match but it’s not bad. They’re just kind of filling in time as these matches aren’t going to mean anything past tonight anyway. The idea here is that the band is scared to death of AWOL so they’re going to try to keep him out. Simple story but it works. Leroux was a lot better than he was given credit for. I might even stretch to say he was pretty good.

He hits a springboard X Factor to get the hot tag to AWOL who cleans house. Moore hits a nice flip to put Cajun down and we let the high spots loose. AWOL gets knocked through a table (his signature thing) but not before holding Moore up off the ground purely by his hair. Everything goes insane and Leroux hits Helms with what we would more or less call Cradle Shock for the pin. They get a standing ovation for it and that’s what they deserved.

Rating: B. I REALLY liked this. There was no interference, there was nothing completely insane, the effort was there and the wrestling was there. What a shock that when you put all this together, you get a good match. Worst thing is I can more or less guarantee this is the high point of the show.

The old guys won’t give a kid an autograph. That’s WCW for you. Madden gets a line in about Nash carrying people. I laugh sadly…..point to this?

Harris Brothers vs. Kronik

And there goes the quality of the show. This is first a chain match, as in they’re attached by a strap. The twins (Harris Brothers/Disciples of Apocolypse/Creative Control/Blu Brothers etc) cost Kronik the belts last month. Adams makes it a first blood match, because gimmicks added on for no apparent reason other than to keep an old guy from having to get pinned and therefore lose credibility TOTALLY RULE!

Dave Penzer, the announcer, gets knocked out like a minute in. We go out into the crowd and this is already a mess. As I’m typing this I can see the review of the previous match and it makes me sad. That and even the previous match were good. This is just annoying and is going to mean nothing at all in the end. Hudson talks about how brutal this is and how it’s going to be violent. We’re less than three minutes in and he’s right: it’s brutal.

One of the Harris guys works on Clark’s knee in a first blood match for reasons of general idiocy. We get choking, which even Tony calls out as stupid. And we have a ref bump in a gimmick match. One of the Harrises is bleeding but there’s no referee of course. The chain is undone and Hudson suggests he’s on his period instead of being busted open. END THIS. Yeah the blood is wiped off and Adams is bleeding when the referee gets back up so Kronik loses. Kronik beats up the referee to be faces.

Rating: F+. Well seven minutes have passed and nothing of note has changed. These two feuded forever and no one cared at all. We went from good stuff to this, which like I said shouldn’t surprise anyone. Get to the next thing.

General Rection tries to do a big patriotic promo which would work a lot better if he wasn’t destined to have Jim Duggan turn on him since he’s the special enforcer.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm cuts a great heel promo about how great Canada is. He was AWESOME at this point and more or less could do no wrong on the mic. He would just get out there and be this pompous jerk but was so proud of being Canadian and no one could beat him, making him awesome. And here’s Duggan to be all patriotic. Great to see that white shirt under his referee shirt. I’m sure that will mean nothing at all.

Rection dominates to start and Storm is in trouble. Also Major Gunns has been kidnapped by Team Canada so she’s freed if Rection wins here. They say that the General could be a superstar. That’s just amusing. He’s more commonly known as Bill DeMott if the comedy name isn’t familiar to you. Storm hits a superkick that was on target but didn’t look painful at all.

Rection hits a sitout gutwrench powerbomb (spellcheck hates that sentence) for no cover. Storm gets up and goes after the knee. Duggan throws Storm back into the ring and gets up on the apron while the General goes for the moonsault. And say it with me: Duggan is Canadian. Storm gets the win while Rection is out cold in the Mapleleaf. MIA runs out and Duggan beats them down.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible, but the turn might as well have had a big sign over it saying HEEL TURN COMING. Rection would wind up winning the title at the next two PPVs while no one cared about it nor were they watching. This didn’t go anywhere though and it’s only because of Storm’s pure awesomeness at this point that it gets this much. That and Gunns in those shorts. I mean DANG.

Gene (wearing glasses now) talks to the Natural Born Thrillers. Sanders imitates Konnan so Gene calls them various bad names and tells them to blow it. Sanders was very good on the mic.

Filthy Animals/Big Vito/Paul Orndorff vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Filthy Animals: Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Disco Inferno, Juventud Guerrera, Tygress (female manager)

Natural Born Thrillers: Mark Jindrak, Sean O’Haire, Mike Sanders, Chuck Palumbo, Shawn Stasiak, Reno, Johnny the Bull

This is elimination style. Yes it’s that Paul Orndorff. He trained most of the Thrillers in the Power Plant (the same place that said one Dave Bautista had no future in wrestling) and he drew about 15 years ago so he’s PERFECT here. Orndorff is a mystery partner here. He SHOCKS the Thrillers. OH NO! IT’S ON OVER THE HILL OVERRATED GUY THAT HASN’T MEANT A FREAKING THING SINCE WE WERE IN 5TH GRADE! Wait….this is WCW and he’s over fifty…..WE’RE SCREWED!!!

Stasiak goes on commentary for no apparent reason. Konnan makes gay jokes and introduced Orndorff. Wow this is so completely overhyped. No one cheers either. They just kind of breathe. Also, we get to see a 51 year old man that looks about twice that old in lime green tights. Rock on brother man.

This was billed as 6-6 but there are so many people that a lot have to drop to the floor, making it look like 4-4. Rey and Juvy are tag champions as I try to fill space. Ok apparently they aren’t….they just have the belts for the second straight PPV in a row. Rey tags in Juvy to absolutely NO reaction. I wasn’t looking at the screen and didn’t even notice it. Normally you get a sound from the crowd to let you know that something happened but there was NOTHING here.

O’Haire hits a Falcon’s Arrow to take down Juvy who of course is fine like 4 seconds later. Vito, the big guy on the team I guess, beats up Jindrak and is only there for Johnny. And here’s Disco to again complete silence. Oh never mind they think that he, a face, sucks. Jimdrak, a guy about 6’5, can’t get a dropkick past the ribs of Disco who is about 6’0. Ok Konnan is in the match despite sitting on the floor so far.

Konnan crashes into Disco so Disco accidentally hits him with the Last Dance (Stunner) to eliminate him. Shawn says five to go, implying 6-6 to start. Disco can’t get anyone to tag him in so Vito punches him and Reno Rolls the Dice to end him and make it 6-4 I guess. Vito hits an Edgecution on Palumbo for two. Bull hits Vito in the head with a kendo stick and a Roll of the Dice (rolling cutter, Cross Roads) ends him.

That leaves it as Juvy, Rey and Orndorff left, so Madden suggests that Tygress is on the team too. So then Tony says it’s 6-2 as Orndorff is there for…..oh screw it let’s just get this over with. Guerrera hits a flying…..something to Reno. Tony calls it a body attack which sounds like something from Mortal Kombat. Juvy Driver and WHAT’S UP on Reno makes it however many vs. however many. Oh and over ten minutes in and I think there are 4 people that haven’t even been in yet.

Rey and Juy apparently ARE the tag champions here. Tony said they weren’t 8 minutes ago and now they are. My goodness I know WCW at this time is called insane but I’ve always thought it was overhyped. In this match alone, about ten minutes long at this point, we can’t establish how many original participants there were in this match, we’ve gotten three different answers as to how many people are left on one of the teams at this point, and we don’t even know if two guys are tag team champions? Ok according to Wikipedia they are the champions but are forced to forfeit them tomorrow for no given reason. Now why can I establish that and the paid announcers can’t?

The fans hate Tygress all of a sudden as Juvy’s plancha is just caught. And then HOKEY SMOKE O’Haire and Jindrak LAUNCH Juvy from the floor into the ring off a double hip toss. That looked incredible. A Swanton Bomb ends Juvy…..and here’s Orndorff. Of course he beats up all the young guys but a kendo stick takes care of him. He hits a bad piledriver to get rid of Johnny the Bull.

Rey and Tygress (now on the apron) just let Orndorff get double teamed and do all the work. Sanders hasn’t been in yet. He of course beats up Jindrak and O’Haire on his own, making them look completely weak in the process. He goes to piledrive Jindrak and of course gets hurt coming down, giving himself a stinger (same thing that happened to Austin in 97 off the Owen piledriver) and O’Haire quickly covers him for the pin because of the injury.

Rey and Tygress I guess don’t get that he’s really hurt and keep going on Jindrak. After a pair of Bronco Busters we get the idea so they beat up Sanders and Palumbo to keep the crowd into it I guess. Pay no attention to the fact that they’re landing around Paul’s legs or anything like that. And they stop the match because of the injury. They would conclude it the next night where Rey and Tygress would beat five guys on their own.

Rating: F. There should be two ratings here. The match itself was entertaining and was about a B/B-, but to let a guy in there that was 51 years old and had retired because of a neck injury and then, shocking no one with a brain, hurts his neck in his first match back in like 5 years is simply irresponsible. I don’t care if he swears up and down that he’ll be ok or whatever. You don’t let him into the ring with his neck hurt like that, and this is why.

He wasn’t even taking a bump and he got hurt. Imagine what would have happened if he had been taking am ove and got hurt like this. There is just no way you can validate letting Orndorff go out there. It didn’t sell any more shows because he wasn’t even announced, so this comes off as just irresponsible by WCW and there’s no way that is ok in my mind.

Kidman and Madusa talk about their scaffold match. Yeah this is a perfect place to go after what just happened, but at the same time that wasn’t planned. Madusa threatens to demoralize her. What the heck does that even mean?

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa/Billy Kidman

The scaffold is over the stage here which I’m sure is completely safe. Also instead of putting them on the scaffold which starts on the ground and is raised up, they have to climb and waste more time. Douglas promises to pay everyone’s money back if the faces don’t get thrown. This is a Pittsburgh PLUNGE match, but apparently you win by crossing and climbing down. Sure why not. Kidman and Madusa don’t get entrances and just walk out and get on.

Tony tells Madden to get his jokes in so Tony can sell the match. Egads man. Tony insists it’s still going up when you can tell it’s perfectly still. The scaffold here is at least fairly wide to the point where they can walk side by side on it. That’s a LOT better than previous kinds. You know it’s a good thing we have those VIDEO screens to show the Fall Brawl logo so we know what show this MATCH is on.

The girls sprint off to get down the other side and are all alone so they just stand there. Kidman and Shane have a match up there with counters and a Sky High powerbomb and then the Franchiser (modified Stunner) on Kidman. And then Shane kicks Madusa down the ladder so that she crashes down. Now since she didn’t climb down, she doesn’t win. Oh give me a break.

Shane beats up Kidman and has him down so Torrie comes back over and waits for him to make his comeback and then hits him low so Shane can throw Kidman off the scaffold and onto the crash pad below. Once someone reminds them which way to go, the heels win. Yep, Shane Douglas is pushed over Kidman. Do I even need to explain why this was bad?

Rating: F+. How do you really grade one of these? It was maybe five minutes long and went nowhere. Shane made Kidman look freaking pathetic here and that doesn’t surprise me at all. Shane was in the downside of his career and Kidman was a guy with potential. Of course he lost. Whatever, and at least Torrie looked incredible.

Sting talks about his three way with Muta and Vampiro. Oh and he has a world title match tomorrow night. Jeff Jarrett jumps him for no apparent reason.

Mike Tenay goes to David Flair’s house to talk to him about the wedding that didn’t work. He was supposed to marry Stacy since she was pregnant and it turned out the baby wasn’t his. We never found out who it was but it allegedly was going to be Ric Flair and would wind up being some kind of incest angle, or Russo because clearly a 20 year old Stacy would screw him.

David is losing his mind and his place is covered in trash and pizza boxes so he lights up a cigarette but throws it away because it’ll kill him. David goes paranoid and thinks that his brother Reed, who is 11, is the dad. He goes to the window a bunch of times where he says the father is here. And then he doesn’t do anything about it.

I didn’t order this PPV and I think this aired on TV later because I’ve seen this before. David sprints to the door and says the father is here so he runs outside and beats up the mailman, putting him in the figure four on the front lawn. There also was a camera waiting on the camera guy as he was I guess coming across the street. What a coincidence eh?

Sting vs. Great Muta vs. Vampiro

ICP is with the heels here who come out together. The clowns are on commentary here. They talk about JCW and I get it now. Maybe I did get this PPV but I could have sworn they did commentary on Thunder too. The commentary is funny to a degree but it gets old fast. They beat on Sting for awhile but they fight after Muta goes for a pin and Vampiro doesn’t like it. This is definitely a different match than the one I remember. Sting gets a bat and hits the Death Drop on Muta for the pin. There was nothing else of note to talk about here. The clowns and Vampiro beat up Muta and Sting makes the save.

Rating: D-. At least it was short I guess and the commentary made me laugh once or twice. This feud was just never going to stop and no one at all cared about it. Granted that might be because of Vampiro and the fact that no one knew who Muta was because WCW never told us that but whatever.

Mike Awesome, in 70s clothes and a Partridge Family bus, shows up with a surprise: it’s Gary Coleman. Sadly he gets one of the biggest pops of the night. They do a terrible comedy bit with Pamela Paulshock who was drop dead gorgeous.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mike Awesome

This is a bunkhouse brawl, meaning hardcore match. There are Buffalo Bills at ringside and Jarrett wears a Titans jersey to be a jerk. He makes bad football jokes and this goes dead fast. There are weapons in the ring and Awesome brings his own table. The announcers say that Jarrett is the favorite in this match. We have ropes and wheelbarrows here as you can hear Dusty jacking off to this.

There are nooses around the ropes and a table covered in barbed wire. This is Jarrett’s specialty match in case you didn’t know. Why is it his specialty match? Well no one knows but whatever. It starts out as just a weapons match with nothing at all special about it. Jarrett backdrops Awesome from the middle rope through a table just to be mean. Jarrett goes into the barbed wire table twice and then a sitout powerbomb gets two.

After the Awesome Splash misses, Jarrett yells at the Bills some more. And here they come, surrounding the ring while security does nothing at all. They shove him into Awesome and the powerbomb gets….two. I know the ending to this match and I thought the match was ending there. Not because it was a close pin or anything but because there was no reason at all for it to continue other than the inevitable Gary Coleman stuff that you know is coming.

And here he is. The Bills let Jarrett get a guitar and Coleman just walks into the ring and low blows Jarrett who them just kills him with the guitar. NOW FREAKING STING IS HERE to beat up Jarrett so that Awesome can FINALLY win. So let’s see: Mike Awesome, Gary Coleman, Sting and THE BUFFALO BILLS ended this. How much do you think all this cost?

Rating: D. I almost hat to type Gary Coleman sold the guitar shot. Did someone think this was going to help business somehow? Did someone think this was going to be funny? I mean eas there a point to this at all? If there was I don’t get it. The hardcore stuff was ok here though, but the match was just WAY too much to be good.

Scott Steiner says he’ll beat Goldberg here because he has big muscles.

Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

This is just a grudge match and I guess Goldberg is a face here. No DQ here either. Steiner has to wear a mask because Goldberg broke his face or something. We’re told about how even these two are which is odd but makes sense at the same time. Scotty busts out a Diamond Cutter for two. Ok then. Steiner tries to hide and that doesn’t go well at all for him.

They’re doing the clash of the titans build here and for the most part it’s working. And here’s Midajah, which is supposed to be a big deal I guess. Goldberg is bleeding from some chair shots. She’s just standing there for no apparent reason. Oh ok Goldberg accidentally put her through a table. Steiner hits a belly to belly where Goldberg lands on his head and nearly breaks his neck. There’s the spear. We have a lead pipe in there too which I’m sure will have something to do with the ending.

And it’s Vince Russo to bash Goldberg with a baseball bat. Sure why not. It only gets two though and Bill goes through a table. Steiner Recliner, which looks awful since Steiner doesn’t know how to hook it right, doesn’t work as Goldberg picks him up. This is the match where they just hammer each other with no real rhyme or reason. That doesn’t mean it’s bad though as that’s what this is supposed to be. Think Awesome vs. Tanaka.

Back to the Recliner which would look a lot better if it wasn’t just Goldberg crawling on his hands and knees (yeah the arms aren’t even pulled back) to the ropes. A chair is brought in and nothing happens with it. Russo comes in AGAIN but Steiner pops Goldberg in the head with a lead pipe and the Recliner gets the win on the unconscious Goldberg. Oh and Russo does the Jericho cover on him to end it. The Bills come in again to help Goldberg. More on Russo in the overall rating.

Rating: B-. This was about being a big old fight and that’s all it was supposed to be. We didn’t need to have real wrestling here and they didn’t try. I could have done without Russo here but at the same time this match oddly worked. This was probably a #1 contenders match of some sort too.

Booker says he’ll get the title back. Nash booked himself to win the title for about three weeks so he could defend coming into this.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Kevin Nash

Dang there are some attractive women in Buffalo. This is a cage match. We get a Scott Hall reference, even though Hall was long since gone at this point. No waiting at all as we’re starting to run out of PPV time. The cage looks extra tall here which is allegedly 12 feet high which is believable here. The camera is weird here as it’s outside and we keep looking up at the guys.

We’re told that Orndorff had a stinger but is talking and has movement in all of his limbs. That’s always good to hear. Nash is actually moving a bit in there. He takes the buckle pad off as Tony, much like Billy Graham did 12 years ago, asks why you need to do that when you have a cage around you. Axe Kick puts Nash down as apparently him slamming Nash is a big deal.

They’re flying through this match with no transitional stuff at all. Nash is bleeding here. RONCO REFERENCE! Yeah that has nothing to do with wrestling but I have a thing for infomercials so there we go. We’re told Nash has a lot of heart. Uh…sure. Jackknife is blocked into the Book End for the title for Booker.

Rating: C-. This FLEW by and felt like a Nitro main event rather than a PPV main event. Goldberg vs. Steiner likely should have closed the show but I can get that they wanted to make the world title seem important. This wasn’t anything all that great at all but for once one champion lost the title to another guy clean and simple. What more can you ask for? Booker would hold the title for 8 days, so it’s not like this meant much in the long run.

Overall Rating
: B-. This was a rather good show. The problem is this is pretty much the best show for WCW in their last 15 months or so. The elimination match would have been a lot better had it not been for the injury and while I still wouldn’t have liked Orndorff getting in there even if he hadn’t gotten hurt, the injury is what made that match fall apart so you can’t blame the wrestlers for it.

The scaffold match was really short so that didn’t hurt things too much. This isn’t a classic or anything but it’s definitely watchable as they toned down the insanity a lot and the show is completely coherent with nothing overly bad that goes more than say five minutes.

The most important thing here is simple: there’s a point to everything on the card. Nothing here is insane or just thrown on there, which is the point of a PPV. If you want a taste of what WCW could do around this time, this is your best chance. And then it means nothing at all as Vince Russo would win the world title 8 days later on Nitro, killing anything the company had left for it.

 

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On This Day: March 26, 2001 – Monday Nitro: The White Flag Of The Monday Night Wars

Monday Nitro
Date: March 26, 2001
Location: Boardwalk Beach Resort, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

So in case you’re not getting the date or the significance, this is the final Nitro. Three days prior to this (or so) Vince bought WCW from Turner and the Monday Night War came to an end. In short, this is it. This is the end of WCW vs. WWF. Vince has won and everyone knows it now. As for the show, it’s being billed as Night of Champions, despite there being two title matches but whatever. This is an historic show and I remember being SHOCKED, so let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon in the Raw interview area, talking about how he’s bought the company and its fate is in his hands. Tonight there will be a simulcast where he’ll explain things. This is bizarre.

Even their intro video sucked at this point.

Scott and Tony talk about how stunned they are about this.

And here’s Ric Flair. Oh this should be good. His hair being spiked is just wrong for some reason. He gives a very emotional speech, talking about how great his time in the company has been, which based on what I’ve read is nonsense, but he belongs out there on the final show and that’s all there is to it. Flair breaks kayfabs and says that Vince’s Dad voted for him to be world champion back in 1981. This is mainly about the holding the company in the palm of your hands thing. Flair makes one final request: if this is the last night, he wants Sting one more time.

WCW World Title/US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

This is title for title with Booker as US Champion. They slug it out in the middle and Booker hits a bit spinning heel kick to take over. This is outside mind you. We hear about how the US Champion is the #1 contender, which NEVER happened if you think about it, kind of making it a running joke. Midajah slaps Booker in the face.

Steiner swings a lead pipe at Booker but he hits the post instead in kind of a scary move. Scott moves onto a Bow and Arrow which doesn’t do much. A kind of botched dropkick and Booker starts his comeback. Ghetto Blaster (Axe kick) hits and we get a Spinarooni. Side Kick and it’s ALL Booker here. Book End is blocked for two. They’re FLYING through this. Book End is the counter to a powerbomb and it makes Booker the world champion again. Literally this didn’t break 6 minutes.

Rating: C-. Not terrible I guess considering they had to fly through this but there wasn’t much here. No one can beat Steiner in like 4 months and Booker does it in five minutes? They couldn’t give this a few more minutes? It was kind of a formality I guess but it just could have been done far better. Not awful though.

Vince blasts Panama City and WCW. Great to see that Vince spent millions of dollars on something that sucked.

3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Kaz Hayashi/Yun Yang

Winners get a Cruiserweight Tag Title shot later. Yang is more commonly known as Jimmy Wang Yang and a member of 3 Count is now Shannon Moore. Everybody does a bunch of flips and dives to the floor with no rhyme or reason to them. Yang sends Rey into the buckle and hits a huge corkscrew moonsault called Yang Time. This is under tornado rules apparently. BIG 450 from Evan Karagis but Kidman makes the save. For the finish, imagine Moore being in position for Orton’s DDT but turned face up. Rey hits a springboard legdrop on him there to end it. I didn’t skip anything in the description. It was really that fast.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but at under four minutes how into it can you get? This was just to give the challengers a disadvantage against Skipper and Romeo later on. The spots were shaky but hey, it’s the last night of the company so who cares? Not bad but nothing we haven’t seen a million times before and better.

Trish brings Vince some champagne but they make out instead.

We recap the GREAT Chavo vs. Helms rivalry.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Shane Helms

Back in the dying days of WCW, one of the few things they NAILED was Chavo, who was absolutely awesome for about a year before the company closed. Shane has an intro with dancing girls a rap that he performs and lights. Shane was very popular as well mainly due to just doing awesome things in the ring. Nice belly to back by Chavo as the fans actually seem into this.

Tony tries to talk about how WCW has been about the youth. That’s just funny. Actually it isn’t, because having that not be the case is a big reason as to why the company died. High cross body from the top for the champion for two. T-Bone gets two. Ton of reversals into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Very fast paced match here.

More reversals into the Sugar Smack (Superkick) and then the Vertebreaker is blocked. He can’t get out of the second one and it ends the match. That move is both awesome but also scary, which makes me understand why they wouldn’t let it be used in the WWF, as it was just too much of a liability.

Rating: B-. Again good match but at like four and a half minutes how into it can you get? Everything is in fast forward speed tonight and it’s kind of taking me out of the show. This is the polished up version of WCW since it’s not being treated like a serious company anymore but rather an All Star show, which helps it a lot I think. Nothing special here, but good enough.

Ad for Slim Jims with Randy Savage, who was out of WCW for about a year at this point if not more. Yeah his last match in WCW was in August of 99.

Remember the Titans is on VHS and DVD. That’s amusing.

Booker says he’s not done yet.

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

The more famous guys are challenging. Team Canada won a non-title match last week to get this. See, why is logic like that so complicated? That’s a basic story and it gives perfect justification as to why we are where we are here. After a quick break, Vince is with Trish again and Cole interrupts them. He says a bunch of WCW related people are worried and Vince threatens to fire Cole. PLEASE DO IT VINCE!

Storm of course starts with technical stuff. Tony almost says World Tag Titles but has to shift to WCW Tag Titles. Slingshot splash by Awesome for two. Hot tag to O’Haire and he beats the crap out of Awesome, hitting his weird reverse Samoan Drop. I could watch Lance Storm throw superkicks all day. Palumbo hits his Jungle (super) kick and the Shawnton Bomb ends it.

Rating: C-. I always liked all four of these guys so I was a fan of this feud. The match of course was really short so it’s kind of hard to grade, but at the same time this was ok I guess. It put the champions over and didn’t give us a title change for the sake of a title change, so I can’t really complain about that at all. Decent match but again nothing great at all.

Recap of Bigelow vs. Stasiak. Stasiak has Stacy and is doing something close to what Dolph Ziggler is doing at the moment. If he loses he has to get a tattoo.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They set this up last week so they have to throw it on here. Bigelow brings the tattoo kit with him. These two feuded for a few months and we were never told why they got so much time. I guess someone thought it was a good idea for some reason? Flying….something misses from Stasiak and Bigelow goes up for the headbutt. It hits but there’s Stacy to be hot. She interferes and a neckbreaker from Shawn ends it.

Rating: N/A. At least we got to look at Stacy.

Regal shows off his shirt to Vince. He tells Vince that it might be a bad idea to buy WCW. This was pointless.

We get a highlight reel of champions to play up the Night of Champions thing, which is always fun.

Vince says it’s just about that time.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Sting cuts a very energetic promo about fighting Flair one more time.

Vince is walking down a hall.

Ric Flair vs. Sting

Something just feels right about saying that. Flair is in a t-shirt here, which is fine with me as if nothing else it makes him look decent. He looks skinny here. The announcers point out that Sting never jumped but Flair did. Not exactly but hey who cares about history right? They recap Flair vs. Sting which is always fun. Hudson tries to talk about how Flair vs. Sting went against Mania 4. What Hudson isn’t mentioning is how badly WCW got slaughtered as Mania 4 outdrew Mania 3.

Tony talks about how we’ve seen this match thousands of times. I was thinking more like 15 but whatever. There’s the press slam from Sting which never gets old. And there’s the Flair Flop which brings a smile to my face. This is more or less Sting vs. Flair’s Greatest Hits as they’re just doing their basic spots. Dropkick misses and it’s time for the leg. Figure Four goes on and Sting is in trouble!

Could he submit? Will he give up? For the first time ever will Sting tap out to Flair? If you don’t know the answers to those questions, just leave now as I can’t help you. Basic comeback occurs and there’s the Scorpion for the tap out. They hug as they should do to end this.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was just the short version of their match as they had no angle or time here, but this wasn’t supposed to be a major match. It was a feel good moment which is what it was supposed to be. Fine for what it was, which is the best description that I can give it.

I’m going to cut the review here, because at this point the simulcast begins and since I’m going to do the Raw from this night next I’ll just review it in there since it’ll be literally the same stuff.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the idea of the night of champions thing was good but the breakneck pace of the show made it rather annoying as there was just too much going on at once. It’s ok I guess but it’s not much more than that. It says a lot that one of their best shows in years had no context or angles worth anything to speak of. This was an ok show, which obviously should be seen for historical purposes. Decent show for what it was, but more important or history than anything on the card itself.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: February 23, 2003 – No Way Out 2003: Rock vs. Hogan II

No Way Out 2003
Date: February 23, 2003
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 15,100
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

This is Rock vs. Hogan II. That’s about all you need to know here. Also on this card is a six man tag with Team Angle vs. Benoit/Edge/Lesnar. The problem is one of the faces won’t make it to the match which we’ll get to later. Austin is back after bailing in June over creative issues. We also have HHH vs. Steiner II which is considered the trainwreck of all trainwrecks. Let’s get to it.

The theme song here is Bring Me To Life by Evanescence. Dang they were hot around this time. JR has a concussion apparently.

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

This was during the failure that was Jeff’s first face push. Jericho is in his King of the World period here. We’re on the verge of Shawn vs. Jericho at Mania which really needed to happen. Shawn kicking him as he walked through the curtain and saying I’ll see you at Wrestlemania is awesome stuff.

Hardy is in the period where he’s looking for a purpose which started with calling out then world champion Undertaker which of course didn’t work but gave us a good ladder match. It would lead to a failure/abandonment of a heel turn. They slug it out to start as we have no reason given for this match happening but they kind of imply it’s a challenge match by Jeff.

Jericho dives at Hardy in the corner but he eats post instead. Springboard Whisper in the Wind (isn’t named yet) nails Jericho on the floor. Hardy does his railing run but misses. Back in the ring Jericho controls but Hardy gets a small package for two. The counter Jeff gets of all things is a Codebreaker. Who would have seen that coming? Coach is nowhere near as annoying here which is surprising.

Jericho’s beard is kind of odd here. Not sure why but it just looks weird. The bearded weirdo hits the post and we start talking about Shawn Michaels which is the whole point of this. Lionsault eats knees. Jeff gets a DDT for two. Whisper in the Wind does the same. Walls go on after a missed enziguri but ropes are grabbed.

Why do they call it making it to the ropes if you only grab a single rope? Chris takes forever to get up top and is launched off in an Angleesque suplex. Swanton hits but Jericho gets a boot on the ropes. Walls are countered into a small package for two. Hardy gets a nice dropkick for a counter.

Swanton #2 misses though and the Lionsault gets two. One and Only (sleeper drop into a slam) gets two also. Jericho gets crotched and goes for a rana from the top but gets powerbombed off. Walls go on and it’s over.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot. Jeff wasn’t ready to beat a guy like Jericho yet but having something like this worked rather well since he kept getting closer and closer but couldn’t finish him off. He wasn’t ready to beat Jericho yet so Jericho gets a good win and Hardy doesn’t lose face because he doesn’t deserve to beat Jericho yet. This was rather good.

Jericho won’t let go and Shawn comes out for the save. Christian comes out and HBK hits a double DDT and kicks Christian’s head in.

Angle gives his team a pep talk and suggests a plan to give themselves an advantage. He was awesome at this point and WWE Champion.

Evolution is here.

Austin’s truck is here. It’s a blizzard too.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Lance Storm/William Regal

Storm and Canada are of course anti-Americans here. Storm and RVD give us an ECW reunion to start us off. Nice sequence to start as both guys move very well out there. Regal comes in and works on the knee for a bit. Stepover kick hits Regal in the shoulder and it’s all Van Dam at this point. Kane comes in and gets an elbow drop to the same shoulder. That’s great psychology if it was intentional which of course it isn’t.

All power by Kane of course as he beats up everyone in sight. Powerslam on Storm and the champions bail. Kane launches his partner at Storm as Regal runs. Nice teamwork there. Van Dam does his bounce off everything and throw in the occasional kick too sequence before getting sent to the floor by Storm.

Half nelson suplex has Van Dam in trouble as the crowd is like dead. Storm and Regal are kind of, umm…boring beyond belief. There’s a reason as to why we rarely see wrestlers like them pushed hard: THEY ARE DULL. They may be able to wrestle a ton of styles but they’re not interesting in the slightest.

Storm gets Kane off the apron so he can’t get the hot tag. And then he gets it 3 seconds later. Was there a point to that? Nice thought at least. Kane destroys the champions here until Storm goes for the mask. Kane can’t see so he accidentally chokeslams RVD so Regal can pin him. Well that’s different I guess. Might not be good but it was different. He would lose the mask in like 8 months (TO HHH NOT THE FREAKING UNDERTAKER BLAST IT!).

Rating: C-. Eh this is more or less a Raw match and nothing more. The tag division sucked pretty badly back in the day and this was no exception. There’s just no point to these random title reigns as the teams mean nothing and they’re just guys holding belts instead of champions if that makes sense.

Matt is talking to Josh Matthews, who looks even stupider at this point about losing weight when Jeff comes up. Matt says if you were a Mattitude Follower you wouldn’t suck so much. JEFF SLAPS HIM. That was great.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy

Since this is the Mattitude Era, here are the Matt Facts: Matt dislikes snow and ice and Matt takes hot tea with milk and sweetener. I love that. This is during the Matt wants to be a Cruiserweight so he’s constantly exercising and trying to lose weight since he’s a natural heavyweight wrestler.

Kidman hits a Frankensteiner so Cole calls it a leg scissors, naturally just seconds after a Scott Steiner reference by Taz. Do I even need to make fun of this? Kidman gets sent back first into the post as it’s all Matt here. Taz talks about banana juice and nut butter. Well of course he does.

It amuses me that Matt, one of the biggest high fliers of the Attitude Era, is now a ground guy according to this. And now back to banana juice as I think I’m getting the joke. Yeah banana juice (called BJ by Taz) and nut butter. Yeah I get it. In a rather impressive spot Matt goes for a half crab but Kidman does a one leg nip up and hits an enziguri to take over.

BK Bomb gets two. Second rope leg drop for Matt gets two. The match isn’t much as the title means nothing but they’re trying at least. These random title matches, much like the tag matches, mean nothing though but who cares? Plancha by Kidman takes out Matt. Twist of Fate is blocked as Shannon gets on the apron, allowing a Side Effect to get two.

Shooting Star Press misses and there’s the Twist of Fate for a VERY close two. I thought it was over there actually and this is the second time I’ve watched this show tonight since I accidentally closed the file without saving it. Matt gets a Twist of Fate from the middle rope with the help of Shannon to give him the title. Nice spot to end it.

Rating: C. Nothing that special here but it was ok. Matt’s title reign was far more interesting as he had a story to it rather than “random guy starts winning matches and wins a non-title match before the PPV” like always. Well that and Rey started going after the title too. This wasn’t bad at all though.

Edge has been attacked by someone and is out cold. He wouldn’t wrestle again for over a year.

We recap Taker vs. Show. Show beat Taker up and injured his ribs and tonight is the big revenge match. This somehow involved sending a singing telegram (sung by one Brian Kendrick who meant nothing yet I don’t think. Yep apparently this was his first appearance without a mask and he would stick around for awhile) and Brother Love and Kanyon in massive gift boxes ala Lex Luger and Sting. Oh and Taker says “Shut up and fight” now.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

I love that Show’s music always says “It’s a big bad show tonight.” What a great way to promote the show you’re on. He bails so Taker can pose for a bit and then we slug it out on the floor with Taker winning of course. Taker goes back first into the post and Show takes over, sending Taker back into the ring.

Taker gets a low dropkick to the head of Show as he tries to get back in. Apron legdrop hits. We hear about Taker using MMA stuff which meant little here as UFC hadn’t risen to prominence yet, but it was coming. He grabs a chair but Show punches it back into his face which doesn’t knock him out of course.

Taker comes back with big old strikes but can’t put Show down. He goes for the slam and it’s Hogan/Andre the first time all over again. Cole suggests that it’s hard to body slam a 500lb man. And this man is PAID to do this. A suplex gets two as Heyman is so slimy that it’s great. Edge is going to the hospital so he’s obviously not here tonight.

He gets a bit of a comeback going but Shaw catches him in a bearhug. That’s a great sign of a boring big man match. More solid punches but Taker walks into a side slam for two. Cole tries to convince us the fans are shocked which is why they’re silent rather than, you know, boredom.

They slug it out some more and it appears that the strategy is to get Show to punch himself out. Chokeslam of course doesn’t work because Show is HUGE. Taker can’t slam him so of course he thinks he can pick him up with one arm. Well of course he does. Taker is busted open. Old School connects but Show won’t go down.

Taker blocks a chokeslam and hits a running DDT for two. The eternal genius that is Taker wants the Last Ride and of course that FAILS. Show yells a lot and Taker counters….something into the Dragon Sleeper. Heyman pops up on the apron and of course Taker goes after him rather than knocking Show out.

A-Train comes out and Taker dives at he and Heyman, neither of whom catch him so Taker just more or less crashes to the floor and they go down without being hit other than on the arms. Taker gets all fired up and walks into a chokeslam. Show goes for the pin but Taker grabs him in a triangle choke which gets no reaction at all because no one knows what he’s doing. Show passes out to give Taker the win.

Rating: D+. They were trying I guess but at the same time this is almost identical to every match that these two have had over the years: Taker tries to make it a straight fight, Show overpowers him, Taker hits a bunch of stuff, Show brushes him off with power, Show hits a big move, Taker counters into a hold for the win. This was a bit more fast paced but still dull.

Post match Taker grabs a chair but A-Train comes in for the big beatdown. This would be your Mania Taker match: these two vs. Taker in a handicap match which was supposed to be a tag with a dude named Nathan Jones but he was so horrible that Vince wouldn’t let him go on live PPV. That says a lot given what he’s put on before.

Bischoff is with Morely (Val Venis, the lackey for him) and they talk about the army Eric has ready to fight Bischoff. Vince comes in and says screw that. If anyone interferes then they’re fired.

Coach and King are very happy about that.

Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Brock Lesnar

Team Angle is Angle himself of course and the World’s Greatest Tag Team who have the world and tag titles. You can figure out the combination of those. Benoit had been feuding with Angle before this and Lesnar won the Rumble so he has the main event slot with Angle all set already.

I love that Toothless Aggression shirt. It’s such a great play on words. The UFC Heavyweight Champion looks freaking awesome. He really was a once in a lifetime find and was only there for two years. I hope he comes back some time. Shelton and Benoit start us off. We’re more or less just waiting on the Angle vs. Lesnar showdown here.

Instead we get Lesnar vs. Haas because that’s all we can do. Brock destroys him and Angle won’t fight him. Benjamin comes in and gets his teeth kicked in as well. Taz wants to know what a Canuck is and thinks it sounds stupid. Angle gets a quick choke in which fails completely. Shelton KICKS HIM IN THE FACE to send him down.

Ah here’s Angle. Oh and Heyman manages the heels too. He got around at this point. Benoit seems to have no problem with having Lesnar fight all three guys at once either. Angle gets a modified rear naked choke as we hear about some kid named John Cena fighting Lesnar recently. That would be HUGE today to put it mildly.

Brock just destroys everyone he fights eventually, breaking Angle’s choke by ramming his head into the buckle. Cole suggests that Angle vs. Benoit is the most anticipated match in history. Just…no. Benoit comes in and ENDS Team Angle with Germans. Belly to belly off the top for Angle to Benoit and brings in Haas.

Back to Angle. Well that was rather pointless. Naturally they crank things WAY up as this is a month after their masterpiece at the Rumble. Haas comes in and everyone stops cheering or caring it seems. That should tell you something guys. Benjamin vs. Benoit gets a bit better reaction. Sweet GOODNESS Benoit could throw chops.

Hot tag to Lesnar who just runs through everything in sight. He hits Haas with a shoulderblock so hard that Haas would have been able to sit on the middle or even top rope if he had landed there. Angle comes in and it’s a big mess again. Benoit and Haas are the only ones left until we get to the part almost everyone is here to see: Benoit vs. Angle on a mat. Crossface to ankle lock to crossface to ankle lock and back to the crossface. Total time: 14 seconds.

Angle is one of the most amazing performers ever. He can go from being an idiot that makes you crack up laughing to being so stupid that you want to smack him upside his head to being very intense but he backs everything up with awesome matches. That’s very rare. Off the top of my head maybe Cena and Shawn are the only ones I’d put in the category with him.

As I babble on about him, Benoit gets the Crossface on Haas. Angle gets the belt but walks into the F5 as Haas taps out.

Rating: C+. It’s good but at the same time, what did this prove? Lesnar and Angle were in there for a bit but Mania is already set in stone. It’s understandable that he couldn’t do much as his neck was more or less held together by gum at this point so there was only one way to do this.

At this time he was more or less retiring after Mania but things changed. This was good but at the same time only Angle was a real threat to either of them as Benoit and Lesnar just ran through the tag team. It’s not bad at all but at the end of it you kind of just say so what?

We recap Steiner vs. HHH which more or less comes down to HHH almost lost to Steiner at the Rumble in perhaps the worst big match at a PPV ever. Steiner was booed out of the building with HHH, the evil one, somehow becoming the face due to sucking less. Steiner demanded his rematch but HHH said you have to beat Batista first. Some kid named Randy Orton kept that from happening as he joined Evolution.

This gets the music video treatment which is set to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence which was the hottest song in the world at this time which was my sophomore year of high school which was a good year for me. Steiner beat Jericho to get the title shot. Evolution formed on Feb 3 (my birthday) of this year.

Raw World Title: Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Earl Hebner is the referee and gets a YOU SCREWED BRET chant, making him the top heel here. Steiner yells at the crowd almost immediately for no apparent reason. HHH has a BIG bandage on his leg so Scott goes for it. That’s another psychology idea: if a person has a body part bandaged or is favoring it, FREAKING GO AFTER IT!

We get boo/yay and HHH is clearly the face here, again due to not sucking as much. The clothesline/pushup combination is booed out of the building as Steiner goes after the knee more and more. T-Bone suplex as the fans think Steiner sucks. And now we get a figure four and it’s actually a decent one. Flair of course is like FORGET THAT and scratches Steiner’s eyes to break it up.

We head to the floor and Steiner is in trouble. Notice what Vince is saying here: Steiner was an unstoppable monster in WCW and he’s having trouble here, which hardly ever happened in the last six months of WCW, even at the hands of Goldberg who was coming soon. The fans are apparently bored. HHH gets a neckbreaker for two. Going for pins like that after basic moves is a good thing. It isn’t going to work but it gives the impression that the guy wants to win, which is the idea right?

They slug it out but Steiner hits the belly to belly. Please don’t start that again. The crowd just not liking Steiner is rather funny for some reason. HHH throws his feet on the ropes for two as he channels his inner Flair. He goes at it with Earl which is his custom. Can Steiner do anything other than punch and belly to bellies?

Big old spinning belly to belly proves my point even more. Steiner punches him down in the corner (the jokes are too easy here, seriously) and we head to the floor. Steiner gets his Angle Slam from the second rope that he had recently stolen for two as Flair put the foot on the ropes.

Steiner Recliner goes on which still looks awful but here comes Randy Orton who was brand new to Evolution at this point. He gets drilled of course and Batista, who looks SMALL here goes into the steps. Down goes Flair too but HHH is sent to the floor where he can grab the belt. That gets two and the Pedigree ends it.

Rating: D-. This match was horrible but by comparison to their first abomination it’s a classic. HHH was pretty awful at this point and he would bury Booker T next. This wasn’t good in the slightest but there was a way to watch it.

The other match is just comedic in how bad it is as an old school crowd like Boston got how bad it was. They kept this shorter and let Steiner be on defense for a vast majority of this, making it bearable. It’s still bad though, as in very bad.

The Raw roster makes fun of Eric on the way to the ring.

We recap Austin vs. Bischoff. Austin had left about 8 months earlier due to creative differences. Eric was in big trouble with Vince and was given 30 days to turn things around which was supposed to be by hiring Austin. Shane would have replaced Eric as GM and at the last second he got Austin to show up at No Way Out. For no apparent reason Bischoff beat up Ross to tick Austin off for their match that Vince set up. Kind of stupid actually but whatever.

Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff

Ross comes out for this and is WAY too happy about this match. Eric tries to say that we don’t need to have this match but gets drowned out by glass shattering. The pop isn’t the same but it’s still there. This is his first appearance in like 8 months or so, meaning this is indeed a big deal.

Eric is on his own here. He tries to talk more but Austin beats the heck out of him. We hit on the Austin couldn’t draw argument that Bischoff made in 94. What a shock that young and talented guys like him and Foley were run off and replaced by Beefcake and Duggan when Hogan showed up. The Raw roster is enjoying this it seems.

Austin is borderline ripped here. Mudhole is stomped and it’s of course all Rattlesnake. Eric goes to the eyes and gets his kick to the chest no sold. To the floor for some more pounding as this is exactly what you would expect it to be. Stunner for Bischoff but Austin pulls him up twice. Another Stunner and again Austin pulls him up. The third Stunner does it. Austin does his usual schtick afterwards.

Rating: N/A. Not really a match but short enough to not really be that bad. The idea was to have Austin look like he’s awesome again which is fine but considering his last match would be at the next PPV it’s not like it meant much.

A fourth Stunner follows the match.

We recap Rock vs. Hogan which more or less is Mania 18 was AWESOME. Rock has more or less gone Hollywood and come back to face the now face Hogan. Rock takes credit for the newfound popularity of Hogan and challenges him for a rematch which was part of his three final matches with Hogan, Austin and Goldberg before leaving for 11 months, coming back for one more match and then leaving for good.

The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk is in the yellow and red this time. Hogan gets the big respect pop but he was about done at this point. He plays to the crowd of course as Cole declares him the People’s Champion. Oh dear. Of course he comes out to Voodoo Child instead of Real American because the most famous theme song ever isn’t good enough for him I guess.

Rock stalls to start then tries to sneak up on Hogan which of course doesn’t work in the slightest. Hogan drills him to start us off and then Rock runs again. Rock is a 6 year pro which blows my mind. He had been around six and a half years at this point which is amazing when you consider his career was more or less done in two months. Cena has been around over 8 years which is about two years longer than Rock’s entire career.

Sylvan Grenier is the referee here who would become part of La Resistance soon enough and win some tag titles. Hogan throws a spit punch to mock Rocky a bit. Not much going on here at all and there’s a Rock Bottom three minutes into this. Well that was unexpected and of course gets two.

Rock puts on Hulk’s bandana and whips him with Hogan’s weight belt because no one has ever done that before right? Hogan gets the belt and whips Rock a bit before walking into a DDT and a nip up. We hear about Vince vs. Hogan which is definitely a bit of foreshadowing. Sharpshooter goes on which is pretty weak.

Ropes are grabbed and we head to the floor. Chair shot hits the post and then Rock. Hogan goes for another shot but the referee stops it and Rock gets a low blow in. A pair of People’s Elbows get two and we Hulk Up. Leg drop hits and the lights go out. The ref is out now and Vince is on the stage.

He saunters down in a sauntering manner, allowing the “unconscious” ref to slip the chair to Rock. A shot to the head and a Rock Bottom end this. Oh and the referee popped up for the pin. Vince puts on the Hogan shirt and tears it off, leaving Hogan for a staredown to end this show.

Rating: D+. Nothing all that good here at all as nothing really was exciting. It was really just to set up Hogan vs. Vince which while ok wasn’t really something that lit the world on fire but it wasn’t horrible. That being said this match was pretty bad. Hogan just can’t wrestle a good match to save his life and hasn’t been able to in years. Rock was trying but he was gone in two months so who really cares? Has nothing on the first match of course.

Overall Rating: D+. Some stuff is ok at best but a lot of this stuff just didn’t work at all. The show isn’t horrible but you can tell this is just a layover until Mania time which was in about 6 weeks. Everything major here was talking about how it leads to Mania and all that jazz. It’s not awful but there is absolutely nothing here that needs to be seen to bridge the gap to Mania. Only to be seen if you REALLY like this era.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #14: Oh Hamburgers It’s 1991 WCW

Clash of the Champions 14: Dixie Dynamite
Date: January 31, 1991
Location: Georgia Mountains Center, Gainsville, Georgia
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes

Another one of these and it’s from a pretty bad era for the company. Unlike the one later this year, this show looks atrocious on paper. This is the first one in WCW rather than the NWA so I would expect a few changes. Also Dusty is the booker again so expect the Dusty Finish to abound. The main event is Scott Steiner vs. Ric Flair for the title. I’m not exactly riveted either. Let’s get to it.

After a quick look at the top two matches we get a very 80s opening. You can tell the arena is tiny. I wonder if AJ was there.

National Anthem.

Dusty talks a lot and won’t shut up.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Doom

Luger is of course US Champion here as he more or less always was. I love that old Sting music. And then again the same can be said of Doom’s music. They’re the tag team champions here in the longest reign in the history of the belts. Ron Simmons and Butch Reed if you weren’t familiar with that. This isn’t announced as a title match but the referee holds up the belts. I guess it is one then.

Reed vs. Sting to start us off. Sting overpowers Reed which is rather impressive. Even in an armbar he shouts to the crowd. Notice what he’s doing there: he doesn’t let the crowd get taken out of it, even in a rest hold. That’s a very nice thing to do. Luger in now as Dusty talks a lot. Ross says in about 5 seconds what it took Dusty 30 to say. We hear about Wrestlewar a little bit where Luger is defending the title.

Simmons vs. Luger now and Ron can’t take him down with shoulders. You can see Simmons wanting to shout his catchphrase. Luger dominates him with power. How often do you see Doom losing to power stuff? Luger walks into a hot shot though and the champions take over. After a break it’s still Doom in control.

Simmons puts his head down though and Luger manages to get a knee/kick in to put Ron down. Simmons gets the tag though to bring in Reed who hits a dropkick of all things to take down Luger. Dusty talks about football to waste even more time. Luger finally takes down Simmons but Reed drills him with a top rope shoulder block to take him right back down. The problem is that it took him right down into his corner. Well isn’t that always the way?

Sting comes in to clean house but Dan Spivey runs out of the crowd to take down Luger. Spivey was Luger’s upcoming opponent at the PPV if I didn’t mention that. Sting doesn’t seem to care and beats up Doom on his own. Reed hits a shoulder to Simmons by mistake and he stumbles into the referee. The referee gets up in time to see Sting get thrown over the top for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: C. Well it was fun while it lasted but I’ve never been able to stand that over the top rule. This was kind of a backdrop for the Spivey vs. Luger match but that didn’t exactly work. It was ok I guess but the match didn’t really go anywhere and the titles never felt like they were in danger at all.

We unveil the winner of the WCW’s Sexiest Wrestler award. It’s Z-Man. Next.

TV Title: Z-Man vs. Bobby Eaton

Z-Man is champion here. They REALLY crank in chants for Bobby here. Either that or 2000 people can chant louder for Bobby Eaton than they can for Goldberg. Dusty talks about how great both guys are. I can see why Z-Man won the sexiest wrestler thing. Apparently Zenk had already lost the title at a TV Taping so this shouldn’t really mean much at all. This is live mind you so imagine his mindset.

Dusty’s voice gets REALLY old when he’s comfortable which he definitely is here. The problem is that he talks A LOT. Eaton works the arm a bit but goes up and Z-Man hits a sweet dropkick to send him to the floor. And then Dusty talks about how great Brian Pillman is for no apparent reason. He also can’t wait to remind us that he’s a former TV Champion either.

They start slugging it out as Dusty is getting harder and harder to ignore. We hit a test of strength as Ross says Terry Taylor is a tough guy. Oh dear. If this is the show I think it is we get another stupid moment in WCW history coming up very soon. As Dusty talks about getting hit in the head with a stick, Eaton goes up again and gets caught one more time.

Superkick puts Eaton down. Big backdrop and Eaton is in trouble. Who covers someone off a backdrop? Who does he think he is, Moolah? Eaton gets him down and manages to get the top rope knee drop but Z-Man gets to the ropes. Cradle gets two for the champion but he walks into a neckbreaker that gets two for Eaton.

You can see fans leaving for the concession stand. Nice to see a title match has them so enthralled. Z-Man gets a freaking back slide of all things to get the pin to retain. Eaton’s shoulder might have been up though so expect another match before the airing of Arn winning the title.

Rating: C+. This started out slow but it got a lot better once they picked up the pace a bit. Eaton is a guy that is straight up underrated in wrestling as he consistently put on great match after great match. This was fine for what it was, even though it would have been understandable for Z-Man to do next to nothing out there.

The replay shows that it wasn’t even close with Eaton completely kicking out before three. That was pretty bad.

Alexandra York (Terri) says that she has selected the newest member of the York Foundation (computer assisted heel group that more or less sucked) and we’ll see him tonight.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Allen Iron Eagle/Tommy Rich

I don’t know who Eagle is either. This is Garvin and Hayes. The Birds are heels here but good luck getting a team called the Freebirds booed in Georgia. Dang it now I’m going to have Badstreet USA stuck in my head all day. Hayes and Rich start as we actually get a reference to the world title reign of Rich. Eagle is another Indian character.

The Indian character of course chops a lot. I’m stunned too. Garvin does….something and down goes Eagle. Eagle ducked his head like he was going for a backdrop and Garvin ran up to him to set for a DDT (finisher) but Eagle just fell backwards. Weird as heck  but whatever. We hit the chinlock as this isn’t much at all. Hayes punches him and it sounds great. Eagle forgets to sell and just stands there, making him one of the worst guys I’ve seen in a long time.

Dusty and Jim try desperately to say that Eagle was stunned from the move and it’s just funny as can be. Anyway, Hayes is ticked and beats the tar out of him on the floor with some hard stuff. When Michael Hayes is the ring general, you know you’re in real trouble. Dusty of course talks about being able to go down Badstreet and be ok because he’s tough.

Amazingly enough they manage to screw up something else with Eagle not realizing that Garvin is supposed to be doing a blind charge so Garvin has to throw up a knee to save the spot. Everyone comes in and we get an awkward looking kick to the guy before an awkward looking sunset flip sets up the tag to Rich that isn’t seen. The Birds DDT the heck out of Eagle to end it, thankfully.

Rating: D-. This is a horrible match, but it’s one of those matches where you can laugh at it very hard. The match is bad, don’t get me wrong, but Eagle was so bad that he was hilarious. There were at least 5 botched spots in a seven minute match. Let that sink in for a bit. It really was that bad.

Dusty talks to Paul E. Dangerously about the arm wrestling match tonight with Missy Hyatt and implies that Paul is gay. Dusty of course has more to talk about which is what he’s there for. Dusty’s comments here are flat out sexist but it’s Georgia so he can get away with it I guess. Somehow Heyman gets into I Have A Dream. Moving on.

Joey Maggs vs. Sid Vicious

What do you think is going to happen here? Sid brings his own paramedics with him if that tells you anything. Sid’s hometown of Anywhere He Darn Well Pleases is still great stuff. He’s a Horseman here too. A clothesline and powerbomb end this in maybe a minute. Sid was a bit of a nut but that powerbomb was sweet every time. The paramedics come out and we take a break. Back with Sid beating up Maggs some more on the stretcher. That’s kind of awesome.

Tony talks to Sid who says everyone fears him.

Ricky Morton vs. Terry Taylor

Here’s another one of WCW’s famous goofs. Terry Taylor is introduced as the Computerized Man of the 90s. That would be all fine and good except for one thing: That was his name once he turned heel. The problem is that the heel turn was that the heel turn hadn’t happened yet, completely giving away the ending of the match. Why did Capetta (ring announcer) even have that on his card? What sense does that even begin to make? Early 90s WCW is made fun of a lot, but it’s not really a secret as to why is it?

Taylor wants respect or something, also giving a good indication of the already spoiled heel turn. Robert Gibson is injured here which would eventually lead to Morton joining the York Foundation as well. Technical/feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a distinct advantage. Nice arm drags by Morton. They speed things up a bit but still no one can get an advantage.

We take a break as Taylor hits the floor to break the momentum. Back with Terry holding an armbar. Nice jawbreaker by Morton has Taylor in trouble though as they’re going back and forth rather nicely here. Dusty of course can’t stop talking long enough for Ross to talk about the match but it’s Dusty’s show so who cares? Alexandra York comes down now as we’re not sure who she’s here for. Apparently no one was listening to the intros either.

For no apparent reason we get an inset promo from York, saying that Taylor is indeed the newest member of the York Foundation and that her computer has told her how he’s going to win this. That was the gimmick of the Foundation: the computer would predict the outcome of the match, such as here where it says the time of the fall and what Taylor will win with. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

Morton gets a small package for two as Taylor turns heel and wrestles all evil and such. A bad bulldog gets two for Taylor. It amazes me that they had wireless so early in the 90s. Morton hammers away in the corner and gets a suplex for two. Dropkick puts Taylor down but a second misses and Morton hits the mat rather hard, allowing Taylor to steal the pin.

Rating: C. It’s ok and the early part is good but other than that this was kind of flat. Morton’s singles time was kind of awkward as he was definitely the better half of the team but he wasn’t someone people wanted to see without his partner. This was ok but nothing really all that special.

We get a preview of the Japanese women’s wrestling at WrestleWar. And 8 seconds is all we get of that.

We see Sting getting the Wrestler of the Year award which allegedly was totally rigged or something.

Dusty talks (naturally) about the Gulf War and praises the troops. The war had just ended or was about to end which messed up the Wrestlemania plans Vince had. How dare international politics and wars get in the way of Wrestlemania??? Didn’t Sadaam watch Superstars?

Ranger Ross vs. El Cubano

Ross is a military dude that would be gone soon after this and in prison for robbery, domestic violence, embezzlement and attempted arson by 1996. Somehow an evil masked Communist is looking like a good guy all of a sudden. Cubano is just a masked guy that is apparently Cuban. In an inset interview Ross praises the troops as well.

Apparently if you can see a guy’s face you can read their mind. This is of course according to Dusty. JR says that Ross (the wrestler that is) is a great role model for anyone of any color. Really? The color line was needed there? Cubano misses a top rope splash and Ross sends him to the floor. Ross runs to the ropes and dives over feet first in a plancha type dive. It wasn’t to hit Cubano or anything. That’s just how he left the ring. A rollup ends it maybe 8 seconds later.

Rating: N/A. The odd comments here were more interesting than the match. This went nowhere of course as it was a generic evil guy against Ross who was gone probably before the next PPV. Just a squash.

Ad for WrestleWar and Wargames.

Arn Anderson/Barry Windham vs. Renegade Warriors

The Renegade Warriors are the Youngblood brothers minus Jay who was dead by now. There are massive portraits of the Horsemen behind the ring on the wall. Yeah this isn’t going to be dominance at all. The Warriors jump the Horsemen to start and it’s a big brawl. Sweet merciful crap they look stupid though with their tights being more or less bright plaid.

Windham and one of the Warriors start this off. Arn’s eyes are flat out hilarious. When he gets freaked out you would think he was in a Three Stooges sketch with how freaked out he is. Dusty really likes to remind us that this is in color. Ok Chris is in the singlet. Arn takes him to the mat and works the knee but gets rolled up for two and Arn wants time out.

Off to Barry now and the Horsemen can’t get anything going at all here. Mark beats up Arn a bit. Oh I forgot: the Warriors are Mark and Chris. That might help a bit. Arn gets a spinebuster out of nowhere and the writing is on the wall now. Off to Barry who gets a kind of jumping DDT for two. Dusty rambles about putting your wife in a front facelock and something about a shotgun as Arn and Chris ram heads.

Atomic drop takes care of Chris but they botch Arn’s pump splash out of the corner as he never hits it but he more or less did here since Chris didn’t roll out of the way and barely got a knee up. Mark back in and it’s a big brawl all over again. He gets sent to the floor though and the Horsemen just destroy Chris with a lariat and the superplex for the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Just a long match that wasn’t interesting or anything as we needed seven and a half minutes somehow to show that the Horsemen are awesome over a glorified jobbing tag team. Nothing that terrible but it still wasn’t all that good at all. Too long as it should have been about half this long.

We get a clip of Vader vs. Stan Hansen from Japan which was a freaking war. They’ve having another match at WrestleWar. Hansen, tobacco flowing everywhere, says that it’ll be a real war between real men at the PPV.

Buddy Lee Parker vs. Brian Pillman

Parker is the guy that trained Goldberg and is widely considered to be one of the biggest jerks in the history of wrestling. In short, he was very short and according to Batista had a bad case of Napoleon Syndrome, meaning he hated being small so he tried to use his authority as head of the Power Plant to compensate for it, including telling Batista he had no future in wrestling for some reason. He was a jobber that thought he had meant something in other words.

This is really just a way to talk about WarGames which Pillman is in. He would be the ending of the match as Sid would more or less kill him with a powerbomb and they had to stop the match due to it. Crucifix gets two for Pillman. Even Parker’s basic offense looks bad. Dusty says he has a daughter named Cody. I’ll leave that one alone. Pillman gets a great plancha over the top to take down Parker on the ramp. Top rope cross body ends this squash (notice a theme going on here?) with barely a bit of sweat from Pillman.

Rating: D+. This was a squash but it was a bit longer than the other ones tonight outside of the tag match. Pillman looked great but since he’s in the main event of a PPV shouldn’t we expect that? A squash is fine but what’s the point of having a bunch of them on one show, especially a major one like this? This wasn’t much at all but Pillman’s flying was awesome stuff.

Join the WCW Fan Club!

It’s time to arm wrestle! This was part of the never ending until it ended feud between Paul E. Dangerously and various men as he was feuding with Missy here. Some country DJ is the ring announcer for this. Oh and let’s talk about the troops because that’s just what southern people do. Dangerously being billed as the Psycho Yuppie continues to crack me up.

This is one of the funniest moments in company history as Missy comes out in this big workout jacket but as she is warming up and Paul isn’t looking, Missy takes the jacket off to reveal a low cut top. Heyman’s jaw drops and Hyatt gets the easy win in like two seconds. Funny stuff.

Lawrence Taylor is chilling with the Horsemen at some bar in New Jersey, even though Flair is defending the title tonight in Georgia. This was odd and rather pointless indeed.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Ric Flair

From what I can find, both Flair and Dusty (booking here) came to Scott and flat out said the title is yours, just say the word. Steiner was absolutely awesome at this point and he really was on the verge of shattering the glass ceiling and becoming the top guy in the world. However, he turned them down because it was pretty clear that as soon as his singles push went into effect, Rick was gone. He wouldn’t win the world title for nearly ten years.

Hiro Matsuda is here from NJPW because the first Superbrawl with Fujinami vs. Flair is coming up. El Gigante is here too. Flair won’t shake his hand which resulted in a brief feud between them. Flair has been champion less than three weeks here, getting it back from Sting earlier this month. This has TV time remaining which I’d almost bet anything on that playing into the finish.

Flair shows off his biceps and Steiner is like boy please. Feeling out process to start as you would expect there to be. Steiner counters a top wristlock and Rick gets in Ric’s face as he grabs the ropes. Dusty thinks Scott would like to go into WrestleWar as World Champion. You can’t buy analysis like this people.

Flair hits the floor a bit to buy some time as Scott has been on fire so far. A little more feeling out stuff results in Scott grabbing another armbar. This is some nice technical stuff so far. Flair goes for the knee and Steiner is like oh no you didn’t and clotheslines the tar out of him so Flair hides again. Surprisingly an atomic drop breaks up Steiner’s momentum. I’m surprised his balls can feel anything with all those steroids in him.

Rick shoves Ric’s feet off the ropes when Flair tries to cheat. Is there a reason for those portraits of Anderson and Windham to still be there? Steiner powers out of a cover as we take a break. Back with Steiner throwing the Figure Four on Flair. He’s no Jay Lethal though so he can’t get the tap out. How often do you see a face in control when you come back from a break?

In an awkward looking spot, Flair charges at Steiner but Steiner falls backwards and Flair goes over the ropes. In the awkward part Steiner is supposed to go over also but didn’t have the momentum so after he was stopped he jumped into the air and went over the top. We have ten minutes of TV time left. Flair goes in for the kill on the knee and yells at Rick a lot.

Figure Four goes on and Steiner is in trouble. As we wait for the inevitable reversal, I wonder why the ring ropes were blue, black and yellow. What kind of a weird combination is that? The hold is broken via rope so Flair puts it on again in the middle of the ring. Steiner easily turns is over and we’re back on now.

Flair goes to the floor and Steiner takes him down with a Steiner Line. Down to five minutes remaining. Steiner pounds away in the corner as his leg is ok now. Nick Patrick stops Steiner from punching and Flair a shot in to take over a bit. Ross takes a breath so Dusty talks for a minute or so about how much experience he has in the ring. Under four minutes and Steiner gets a bad sleeper.

Steiner clotheslines Flair over so they alter the rules again so that’s not a DQ with three minutes left. Knee drop by Flair as Steiner is in trouble. Two minutes left and Flair is in the stall mode. Steiner gets a sweet bridge up into a Tiger Bomb but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason.

Ric is on the floor with a minute left. Steiner Line has Flair reeling with 30 seconds left. Flair Flip out of the corner and there’s not enough time. Belly to belly gets two as the bell rings for the time. The whole TV time thing is bogus as we go off the air a minute and a half after TV time expires. Ah ok we needed to show the credits. That explains it. Heaven forbid we don’t know that Ted Turner is responsible for this.

Rating: B. This was good for what it was but with more time it could have been great. Like I said this could have been a title change if Steiner had given it the ok but he decided a tag team was more important. Anyway this was good stuff and it worked rather well considering Steiner didn’t have much big match experience at all. Fun match and interesting for the most part but the ending might as well have been announced at the beginning given how obvious it was.

Overall Rating: D+. Well they tried but at the end of the day there was too much weak stuff here to make this a really good show. The main event is solid but other than that there wasn’t much here at all. Far too many squashes and uninteresting matches for the first hour and a half setting up a good main event doesn’t make a good show though. 91 was really bad for WCW down the line and this was probably the best time for them in the year until the very end of the year. Pretty bad show but the main event is solid. That’s about it.

 

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Clash of the Champions 8 – Scott Steiner Is Better Than Your Favorite Wrestler

Clash of the Champions #8: Fall Brawl 1989
Date: September 12, 1989
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

We’re in 89 here and since it’s anywhere between late summer and early winter, it’s Fall Brawl. This has nothing to do with the regular PPV because there were about 5 other shows with that name. Anyway, the main event here is supposed to be Flair/Sting vs. Funk/Muta. Funk is hurt via Flair though so it’s…Dick Slater? This is one of those transitional periods for WCW but Funk vs. Flair was the main feud so let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Great American Bash where Funk and Muta destroyed Flair until Sting made the save.

The word on the street is that Gary Hart has something planned. Here’s Gary Hart who says there are no problems in his camp.

Road Warriors vs. Samoan Swat Team

The Samoans come out to the Halloween theme song. Dangerously is managing the Samoans. The Samoans are Fatu and Samu, more famous as the Headshrinkers. Samu hits the floor to hide but Animal throws him right back in. Hawk gets sent to the floor and takes a powerslam for two back in. Bearhug eats up some time and there’s the unseen tag. A very modified version of the Demolition Decapitator gets two. Fatu comes off the top and jumps into a boot (you know the spot I’m talking about) and Animal is tagged to clean house. Everything breaks down, Heyman’s phone hits a Samoan and the Device ends Fatu.

Rating: C. Man the crowd was excited for this. It was a power match and a pretty quick one at that but sometimes that’s all you need to have. Decent enough match though and at times that works best. The Warriors were just about to jump over to the WWF but they were still as popular as anyone.

The Samoans yell at Heyman and fire him post match. He wouldn’t manage again until the summer.

Cuban Assassin vs. Z-Man

There were a lot of assassins in wrestling. This is Z-Man’s debut. For once this isn’t Jack Victory under a mask but rather just a guy from Cuba. Off to a quick armbar as Z-Man controls early. Zenk channels his inner Jericho and uses about a dozen armdrags and armbars. Of all things a sleeper ends this.

Rating: D-. This was one of the weakest debuts I’ve seen for a face in a long time. Z-Man was really boring here and the ending didn’t prove anything. He’s a cruiserweight style guy so he uses a bunch of arm holds and then a sleeper for the end? Seriously? I’m thinking it wasn’t exactly the WWF screwing him over that got him out of there. He has some crazy ideas about it or whatever, but it could very well be that he’s REALLY dull.

Here’s The World According To Theodore R. Long. He’s in a recording studio and plays it kind of like a radio show. It’s really stupid and it’s basically just a rundown of upcoming house shows.

It’s Ric Flair Day in South Carolina. The governor gives him a plaque. Ok then.

Ranger Ross vs. Sid Vicious

Sid is just SCARY over. He hits Ranger in the head and they go to the floor. Ross gets in a few strikes but the move we would call The Eye of the Storm and a powerbomb end this quick.

Now we get a vignette of Robin Green (Nancy Sullivan/Benoit/Woman, the innocent manager of Rick Steiner) and Missy Hyatt get a limo to go shopping. I have no idea what the point of this is. You also can’t hear a word they’re saying because the car is so loud. This is like a high school show in the late 80s. Now they go jewelery shopping. I think this is supposed to be Robin being all out of character.

The Freebirds say they’re awesome.

World Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Steiner Brothers

The Birds are champions and this is the Steiners’ first shot at the titles. Scott is a totally different guy here, to the point where he was a nod of the head away from being handed the world title and being made the focus of all of WCW in about 1991. Flair flat out said you say the time I’ll lay down for you. Think about that for a minute. Then he destroyed his arm and didn’t get the title for 9 years. That’s wrestling for you.

Missy and Robin are here with the brothers. Scott is in regular trunks here so you can tell he’s brand new. Scott vs. Hayes starts us off. Hayes stalls a lot and then stalls a lot more. Scott speeds things up but runs into the left hand which is one of Hayes’ big moves. A top rope cross body by Hayes is rolled through for two and Scott cleans house. Garvin comes in and Scott runs over him too. A SWEET reverse German hits and here’s a tag to Rick. Scott looked like Kurt Angle out there.

Rick knocks both of the Birds to the floor and gets on all fours. Hayes comes in next and dances a lot, just ticking Rick off even more. There’s a powerslam and one for Garvin as he tries a sneak attack. Hayes gets in a few punches so Rick just mauls him and hits a release belly to belly. Rick then misses one of the hardest charges ever into the corner. Garvin comes in with his DDT finisher but Scott makes the save.

Back to Hayes who sends him out to the floor for more of a beating. Rick gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting for Scott to come in and start breaking stuff. Garvin comes back in and hits a running knee to the head for two. Time for a chinlock but Rick snapmares out of it. Why don’t more people use that as a counter?

There’s the tag to Scott (thanks for telling me JR. No seriously, the camera cut to the crowd so we didn’t see if he made it or not) and it’s Frankensteiners (and I mean standing ones, not ones out of the corner) and a BIG powerslam for Hayes. Scott hits the ropes but someone (presumably one of the girls but we intentionally can’t see which) trips him and a quick DDT keeps the titles on the Birds.

Rating: B-. If you’ve EVER been unclear about why people rave and rave some more about Scott Steiner, go find this match right now, keeping in mind that he’s 24 here and had been on national TV as a wrestler for about 3 months. This was one of the most impressive performances I’ve seen in a LONG time. By the way, it was Robin that tripped Scott. She turned heel and debuted Doom soon thereafter. The Steiners got the titles in November.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Brian Pillman

Norman is more famous as Bastian Booger. He’s just what his name says here: a lunatic from the state hospital. Pillman is young, undefeated, and AWESOME at this point. He comes out with the University of South Carolina Cheerleaders and goes off, hitting all kinds of high flying moves which Norman can’t even begin to keep up with. After a springboard clothesline and a dive to the floor, Brian goes for Norman’s key (he brought it with him and freaked whenever anyone touched it) but it goes nowhere.

Middle rope splash gets two for Norman. Out to the floor and Norman splashes him against the post. A second one misses though and a missile dropkick puts Norman down and PILLMAN SLAMS HIM!!! AND A BACKDROP!!! A middle rope cross body is countered into a powerslam for two. Holy crap this is AWESOME. Out of nowhere Pillman grabs a crucifix for the kind of upset pin.

Rating: B. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? I know I said Pillman was awesome but I didn’t expect that. Pillman was flying all over the place and pulling off stuff that would make Rey Mysterio jealous in 1996. This was incredible and as you can see, Bill Watts was an idiot for wanting to ban this kind of stuff because….why did he want to do that anyway?

Gary Hart insists Terry Funk is here when everyone else says he isn’t.

Mike Rotundo vs. Steve Williams

This is pretty much the very final blowoff of the entire Varsity Club. Williams is freshly face again and gets caught coming in but he’s like “Boy I’m Steve Williams” and clotheslines Williams down then does the still scary gorilla press reps on the slam. Back to the floor where Rotundo hammers away and the fans are all over Rotundo as he hooks an abdominal stretch. Rotundo keeps knocking him down and hooks a chinlock. Even in that Williams won’t stop moving.

Back up and Rotundo puts his feet on the ropes to cheat but Williams won’t go down. A jawebreaker finally gets Steve out of the hold but an elbow misses. The idea here is that Rotundo knows if Williams gets any kind of momentum going then Rotundo is going to die so he has to keep moving every chance he can. A pair of thumbs to the eye slows Williams down and Rotundo goes up. Williams slams him off after getting a RUNNING START.

I’ve told you this before but this guy was the Brock Lesnar of his day. Just SCARY strong and a legit amateur wrestler. Williams misses a charge but Rotundo accidentally dives over the top. Back in the Stampede is countered but Williams holds on and takes him to the mat in kind of a rollup for the surprise pin. The count was cool looking as the referee dove and counted at the same time, sliding on each count.

Rating: B-. Another fun match. This show has rocked so far and Williams just blew away Rotundo here. The idea here was that they never stopped moving out there. Even the rest holds had something going on like using ropes for leverage and Doc (Williams’ nickname was Dr. Death and JR often called him Doc) kept fighting to get out of them. That’s the difference between working and being boring: you can take almost anything in a match and make it more entertaining but you NEVER see that today, which is a shame.

Lex says he’s awesome.

US Title: Tommy Rich vs. Lex Luger

Lex is champion but Rich is an old NWA superhero so he’s very popular here. Lex is a total heel but he was so awesome at this point that you couldn’t help but cheer for him, meaning he gets a bigger pop than Rich here. We hear about how great Rich used to be and JR manages to get cowboy boots into the analysis somehow. Not much to start but Luger uses his power to keep control. He’s a heel but keeps getting cheered.

Rich gets in a right hand and grabs an armbar which gets him nowhere. Cross body gets two and it’s back to the arm. Lex avoids a dropkick and powerslams him for two. He works on the back a bit but Rich hooks a sunset flip for two and Luger goes outside. Back in Lex works on the back some more but the Rack is countered. Superplex gets two. Lex goes up (???) and misses a top rope splash.

Rich starts his comeback and pounds away, hitting a middle rope punch for two. Thesz Press gets the same due to Lex putting his foot on the ropes. In some trivia for you, that’s what he won his world title with. Rich misses a punch and hits the post, only to grab a sleeper while Lex is on the apron. Luger hits a hangman on the top rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Decent match here but not quite as energetic as the previous two matches. Rich is a guy that I think you have to watch a lot of to get the appeal of. Not a great match or anything but more competitive than you would think. That being said, Rich was pure Memphis and that style doesn’t work well with Luger’s power game.

Gary Hart has some more to say. He’s going to let the nation know about something. Hart has a letter from a doctor and there’s a tape from Funk in a hospital bed with a bad arm. Funk talks about how he almost lost his arm and no matter what he’ll be at the Clash tonight.

Sting and Flair (in the classic black robe) say bring it on Funk.

Great Muta/Dick Slater vs. Sting/Ric Flair

Muta is TV Champion here and I think undefeated. He and Sting start which should be awesome. This was one of the hottest feuds of 89 and definitely one of the best. They speed things way up to start and Sting knocks him to the floor very quickly. Back in and they fight over a headlock but Sting grabs an armdrag and works a wristlock. The crowd is WAY into this.

Flair comes in and the fans wake up even more. This is the first time he’s ever been in the ring with Muta. Muta takes a bunch of chops and punches so he collapses into the corner to bring in Slater. Flair beats him up too until Slater sends him into the corner and over the top. Flair runs the apron, hits a running chop to Muta, goes up and hits a top rope elbow to take out Slater.

Dirty Dick (worst nickname ever) kicks Flair to the floor and Muta dives on him. Everyone heads to the floor and it all breaks down. The good guys rule the ring and Hart, the manager, calls a conference. Slater has a cast on his forearm/wrist. Naturally Flair and Sting work it over. This is still the smart Flair, as in the one before Hogan made him an idiot. Sting grabs an armbar and so does Flair. They’re tagging very fast.

Slater comes in and is immediately suplexed for two. Back to Muta quickly and the dominance continues. Muta does the classic heel move of raking the eyes and hits the Handspring Elbow to keep Flair in trouble. Slater comes in and pounds away before sending Flair to the floor. Muta back in now and he hits that snap elbow. A nerve hold is broken and it’s off to Sting. This has been good so far.

Stinger Splash to Muta but Gary Hart comes in to hit Sting in the back of the head with a roll of coins to break up the Deathlock. That only gets two and now both the fans and JR are really getting into this. A powerbomb by Muta gets two. They go to the floor and Flair makes a running save. Back in Slater puts on a sleeper but Sting breaks it up with a jawbreaker and both guys are down.

There’s the hot tag to Flair and he does his best Fifi imitation to clean house. Everything breaks down and Muta gets dropkicked to the floor. Sting goes to pull him back in but takes mist in the face. Oh and it’s yellow too! Slater hits Flair with the cast to bust him open. Down goes the referee and here’s Terry Funk with a plastic bag to TRY TO SUFFOCATE FLAIR. TAKE THAT PG ERA!!! It’s all thrown out of course.

Rating: B+. Pretty awesome tag match here and it plays up to the feud that was going on with Funk vs. Flair, setting up an I Quit match at a future Clash. Slater didn’t really mean much in this as they shifted it back to Muta soon here. Very good tag match here that really needed a finish but still great.

Sting takes a branding iron to the knee. Flair apparently got mouth to mouth by Pillman to wake him up. I’m sure he’s glad that wasn’t on camera. Flair gets medical attention to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. THIS is how you do a TV show. Other than the Z-Man match which is less than four minutes long, there isn’t a bad match on here and you get two or three very good ones, plus a total star making performance by Scott Steiner. Couple that with a great main event that moves the feuds forward and this is one of the best Clashes I’ve ever seen. Find a copy of it because it’s worth seeing.

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WCW Millennium Final – Here’s One I Bet You Haven’t Heard Of

Millennium Final
Date: November 16, 2000
Location: Arena Oberhausen, Oberhausen, Germany
Attendance: 9,000

Most of you likely haven’t heard of this show and I can’t say that I blame you. In the dying days of WCW, they woke up and did what WWF had been doing for years: going after Europe, and this was the result. It was only aired in Germany and parts of Europe and never once mentioned on American TV or put released to the American market.

There’s a weird and over the top thing for the European Cup which hasn’t been around since 1994 and a world title match with Booker T and Scott Steiner. I’ve never seen this so let’s get to it.

It’s never explained why the Millennium Final is being held 11 months into the millennium but I think that might be too much for WCW to get so I’ll leave it alone. Ah apparently it was the Millennium Tour and this is the FINAL night, even though I’ve found matches dated from December so whatever. Mind you that commentary here is all in German so I’m kind of on my own here. There’s no intro or anything other than pyro and we’re right into our first match.

Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Kronik

Naturally the commentary is in German but the announcer speaks English. They were out of business in five months and it’s not hard to see why at this rate. The small guys are actually heels here. Make sense out of that. Kronik are Crush and Adam Bomb. I loved them but they just kind of sucked. Kronik’s finisher was a double chokeslam called High Time.

Why they made a ton of pot jokes is beyond me but whatever. Adams and Kidman start and I have no idea who the faces are all of a sudden. The big guys were way over but they’re being booed here. Oh how I love WCW from this era. Nothing makes sense and they have no problem with it at all. What do you really expect to happen here? Rey didn’t become a big deal until WWE so he’s a regular cruiserweight here.

Tygress, the manager of the Filthy Animals, and yes that’s really their name, was just disturbing looking. She wasn’t hot at all but they decided she was I guess. And hey look here, the faces are dominating and then Kidman walks into the double chokeslam for the pin. That was freaking stupid.

Rating: D. Holy goodness this was BORING. I never thought an 8 minute match could be so stupid but I was wrong. I mean just NOTHING interesting happened here. This was so uninspired it was pathetic. No one cared at all and it just was painfully obvious. The crowd was into it but that’s all they had going for it.

Watch WCW television. Or try the veal. I’m not sure what was actually said here.

Battle Royal

Apparently the winner here qualifies for another qualifying match later on to fight in the Europe Cup Title Match where Sting is already in. The winner here gets into a triple threat with Nash and Alex Wright, who is already in this match, making his entry completely pointless but then again it’s WCW so there we are. And apparently this is Royal Rumble style. Ok then. We start with Elix Skipper and Lance Storm as this continues to make less and less since every few seconds.

They’re teammates here so they just kill time until the next guy shows up and it’s General Rection, more commonly known as Bill DeMott. Rection and Storm were feuding over the US/Canadian Title so it fits perfectly. It’s it funny how that always happens? The time is like a minute here as Ernest Miller is 4th. He was commissioner on and off around this time as control changed about once a week literally.

And there’s your obligatory stupid USA chant in a non American country. Mike Sanders who is apparently Commissioner of the Week is 5th. The guy could talk and that’s it. Skipper throws the WORST kicks I have ever seen. That 70s Guy Mike Awesome is 6th. Now let’s stop for a second here. For those of you that saw Awesome in ECW, you know he’s a killing machine.

He’s 6’6 and could fly like a cruiserweight. The guy was a freaking monster. So what did WCW do with him? They turned him into a guy obsessed with the 70s and made him love fat women. WCW, you deserved to go out of business. You know what his original gimmick in WCW was: The Career Killer. Think of Orton but in Swagger’s body and TICKED OFF. No we can’t have that. That kind of gimmick could be, and perish the thought, GOOD!

We can’t have that, so we’ll turn him into the Fat Chick Thriller. WCW stuns me to no end at times. Actually make that all the time. At least he’s in his regular attire here. Kwee Wee, another gay character that never says he’s gay, is 7th. The music in late WCW just plain sucked. Storm goes out. Nothing of note is happening at all, meaning it’s a traditional battle royal. Disco Inferno, a face believe it or not, is 8th and there goes Miller.

The time thing is completely off as usual. Ninth is Kidman who is holding his ribs from all of 15 minutes ago. Again, this is just boring. Nothing of note is going on and the crowd is dying. This really shouldn’t have been Rumble rules. Apparently Kronik come out as a unit, so we’ll call them ten and eleven. They throw out Rection, Kwee Wee and Skipper. Sanders and Disco are out too and it’s Rey out at 12.

Awesome goes through the ropes, so they actually go with the same match we saw LESS THAN TWENTY MINUTES AGO. The stupidity here is astounding. Sean O’Haire is thirteenth as we have five to go. Kidman is out and so is Rey. AND WHAT A SHOCK it’s Sean’s partner Mark Jindrak in next to give us another tag match. Awesome is just hiding on the floor which is smart if nothing else, even though he’s supposed to be a monster but when would WCW use intelligence.

Norman Smiley is 15th to a huge pop. The four guys gang up on him and with little trouble after the worst piledriver this side of a backyard wrestling fed. Alex Wright, the hometown boy, gets a fairly weak pop at number 16. He’s bald now as he had been Berlyn recently. Out last is Konnan for no apparent reason. Ok so the final group is Adams, Clark, Jindrak, O’Haire, Smiley, Wright and Konnan.

Oh and Awesome who is hiding. And I miscounted so the final guy is Finlay. Well he get a good pop if nothing else so that’s good. He puts Kronik out so he’s a superhero. And we have a chair in there for no apparent reason. Smiley puts O’Haire out. Jindrak is out. Finlay puts Smiley out so it’s Konnan, Finlay, Wright, and Awesome and there goes Konnan.

Finlay has the chair but throws it down due to stupidity I guess. Wright puts Finlay out with a dropkick and celebrates to a sweet pop as the hometown boy winning the match. And then here’s Awesome to say SCREW YOU to the fans and win the match. Good night WCW was freaking stupid.

Rating: D. It’s a battle royal so it’s hard to grade, but the booking was just stupid here for reasons already explained. Awesome was fine but then again I mark for him so it’s not that easy. The booking for this show is just all over the place as you’ll soon find out.

Kwee Wee vs. Elix Skipper

Since his real name is Alan Funk, we’re calling the first guy Alan. He was a character that was kind of a combination of Rico and something else resembling Rico that lacked the talent or the intrigue. Skipper was more or less just a regular cruiserweight at this point so this is really just filler. Alan and Skipper actually feuded but it went nowhere given the whole going out of business thing.

For some reason I was always a mark for Skipper. I have no idea why but I was. Surprisingly this isn’t bad. Also much like Rico, Alan was a guy that couldn’t get a break because of his gimmick. He was far more talented than he was made out to be and he shows it here. They do some solid chain wrestling that I like. A common thing tonight is that these matches are getting a good amount of time and that’s rather nice.

Guys like these two that don’t often get to showcase themselves are getting to do so, but they’re a bit tired after the battle royal which sucks. This is pretty good stuff, but Skipper looks terrible as he has to job again. The guy had talent but he was always jobbing. To be fair though the gimmick didn’t help things at all. He almost hits the Playmaker but it’s countered and Alan gets a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Ending kind of sucked but WCW’s strategy with small guys was simple: let them wrestle and it’ll work. They never messed with these guys and it helped a lot, but at the same time they just left them there when they were ready to move on up and that’s what killed the company off in the end, at least for me.

Ernest Miller says he runs WCW. Good to know.

Ernest Miller vs. Mike Sanders

This is for the Commissionership, which of course makes sense in a major company: have two men fight to see who the boss is. This was another of the mindlessly dumb feuds they had over who got to be boss like 18 or whatever. I think Sanders is commissioner coming in here. And it’s a two minute match with the Cat winning with a spinkick. I hated these things back then and I hate them now.

Rating: N/A. It’s stupid so it must be WCW. Miller was a guy that I never got the appeal of so he kept getting pushed further and further up the card. I was surprised he never won the world title because it would have failed that much better.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm had been pushed as the greatest thing on the planet, winning every singles title other than the World all at once, but now this was all he had left. This was allegedly a hot feud back in the day but I never saw nor felt any of said heat. Morrus starts off hot. Ok that’s a lie. He starts off moderately not cold as I don’t think hot was something he was capable of ever reaching.

This is as much of a cookie cutter of a match as you could ask for. Oh and Major Gunns is at ringside. She’s rather built and that’s about it. She thought she drew what Booker and Steiner did. That’s just amusing. You can see the stupid ending coming from here so let’s just skip to that. The flag hits Morrus as he’s about to win the title. There’s about 4 minutes of Storm winning and the half crab and a comeback thrown in there but it was all boring.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any house show and it still would have sucked. Morrus won the title ten days later at Mayhem so it’s not like this was anything more than practice I guess.

Random hot girls come out and dance to what sounds like a German singing a bad English song.

Norman Smiley vs. Fit Finlay

This is a hardcore match. WCW tried to have a hardcore division and it failed worse that a condom for Jon and Kate. Both guys are far more famous in Europe so this makes sense if nothing else. Smiley is over here and is dressed like a Swiss guy. This is an Oktoberfest match apparently. It’s a standard basic hardcore match to start out as it’s just random weapons and Norman screaming.

I think by this point Meng had left with the hardcore belt and ended the division once and for all but I’m not sure. It was another case of WCW just putting a title on a guy with no contract and thinking that was ok. He was in WWE about two weeks later and there wasn’t a thing WCW could do about it. They brawl up to the concession/merchandise area (read as Finlay beats on him and Norman conveniently walks that way).

They’re in the crowd now and this is boring yet not awful stuff. Ah good they’re back on camera now. Yeah go ahead and chant for ECW. It’ll die in like two months anyway. Norman takes over in the ring and we hit a chinlock. We have a chinlock in a hardcore match. I don’t know what to type. Ok now I know. That’s freaking stupid. Wow how did I not get that faster? Naturally it turns into nothing but a weapons match.

Finlay keeps getting booed so he gets on the mic and yells in German which is kind of creepy in a way. We hear about Flair for no apparent reason. It’s sad that guys with this much talent have to do stupid stuff like this. We get a crossface chicken wing but Finlay goes through a table.

Finlay goes through a table feet first which looked cool and apparently is good for a pin. Norman dances for awhile and then goes to the back where he does an interview in English but Finlay jumps him. This also went nowhere.

Rating: C. It was a long TV match but that’s fine for something like this. Norman was incredibly over in America for no apparent reason and that translates worldwide I guess. This was a decent match but rather boring. There were just so many of these things that it was hard to really find one that stood out and this one didn’t at all.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

So the non dancers are the champions here, but Disco Inferno is hurt. Since we need to have a German win the belts though, we have Alex Wright teaming with General Rection for no apparent reason at all and he’s wearing a sweatshirt despite wearing tights in the previous match. Rection isn’t US Champion here as you saw a little bit ago but he’s announced as it and holds up a German flag. He and Jindrak start us off.

We hear that Wright has been inserted into the Triangle Match later on to qualify for the Europe Cup with Awesome and Nash. It’s weird but slowly and surely you get to understand German to an extent. Wright hits a sweet double nip up to get back up. That was awesome. They mention the Dancing Fools and Berlin but say tonight it’s just Alex Wright. Now why couldn’t we get this Alex Wright in America? This guy is freaking awesome.

The heels take over on Rection to set up the insanely hot tag that’s coming soon. The General looks like a fat Jeff Hardy. And we hit an arm bar ten minutes into the match. That fails to make sense but it’s WCW so whatever. The Seanton Bomb misses and there’s the hot one. Actually make that a slight fever one.

There was a tiny pop at best. And he’s getting beaten up now. This is already making my head hurt badly. I think Alex forgets to kick out of a rollup meaning that Mark has to just kind of let it go which looks completely stupid. Wright hits a missile dropkick from the top for the pin and the titles for him and Disco and a huge pop.

Rating: C-. Odd booking aside, this was all so that Wright could get a huge pop and that’s fine. He’s the hometown boy and he deserves a moment like this. I think it was mentioned on TV as a European match but Rection was never mentioned so there we are. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t anything worth watching either. It’s your standard TV match which is fine. Not a great match but a cool moment.

Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome vs. Alex Wright

Dang Alex has to be getting tired out there. This is his third match tonight. The winner fights Sting who for no apparent reason is in the final match already. Oh that’s right: he drew money at one point in his career. Nash just kind of stands around because moving more than that might cause his spleen to rupture or something and he would be out two days before he could come back and get an easy win.

It amazes me that Awesome went from being a great character to such an awful one in just a few months. That’s WCW for you though. Alex is clearly tired but he’s doing what he can I guess. This is called a triangle match but it’s just a triple threat. Sorry if I don’t seem that interested in these matches but they’re just not interesting. I would guess that it’s because of the lack of commentary. Or maybe it’s just that WCW sucked so badly at this time.

Nash is in the ring now and Awesome is dominating for the most part. Wright is easily the fans’ pick to win but that’s simply not going to happen. That would mean a young guy would get a push and even in a country where that’s never going to be seen we can’t allow that right?

Nash just looks completely out of his element in there and it’s bad. With Awesome taking Nash down, Wright makes his comeback. The fans are barely popping for it. Even in another country WCW was crap. Wright puts him down with the neckbreaker but Nash is waiting. He takes Wright out and pins both guys at once to advance.

Rating: D+. They were just completely out of their element here and it hurt them badly. Wright was the only one the fans cared about but that was just because of the hometown aspect. In retrospect they should have just put him into the main event, if nothing else to give him a chance to catch his breath.

WCW Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.

I believe this is match number 8000 in their eternal series. These two are more or less joined at the hip everywhere they go other than WWE and that’s probably not a good thing. Naturally the title isn’t going to chance here as Steiner would get it at Mayhem in ten days just like Morrus did earlier. This is about as formula based of a match as a human being could possibly ask for here. It’s not very good but it’ll do I suppose.

Booker starts in control and Steiner takes over. He moves. Incredibly. Slowly. Naturally he works on the back which is the closest thing to psychology you’ll get out of that roided up mess. He busts out the Frankensteiner which allegedly is a big move but I fail to see it anymore.

When you have Rey and Juvi jumping all over the place it’s just not worth much anymore. We get the Booker comeback but Steiner manages to get him down and gets the Recliner. Booker gets the ropes and then the kick to end it.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was the standard match for these two and it was ok I suppose. With about ten minutes to work with what more would you ask of them? At least it was a clean pin. It wasn’t bad I guess but they would have a, I guess you could say this, better match, in ten days anyway so this was fine for practice.

Axel Schulz is refereeing the main event. Naturally he was someone that hadn’t meant anything for about three years. You know the jokes that I’m thinking of.

Europe Cup: Sting vs. Kevin Nash

And again it’s two guys in their 40s in the main event instead of pushing a young guy to something. This match is a microcosm of everything that was wrong with WCW for its last two years: the match is sloppy, nothing new is attempted, Sting and Nash don’t really try that hard, and this pales in comparison to some of the other stuff we saw earlier, yet they’ll get their huge checks anyway. This goes on about 9 minutes and is the same thing you saw before. Sting wins by submission and holds up the cup to end the show.

Rating: D-. For all the reasons listed above plus the fact that no one cared at all. This was crap. What a shock, two old guys get to go on for a match that no one is going to care about. Why is this not surprising?

Overall Rating: D+. This was just not that good. To be fair though, most European shows aren’t. The fans were kind of there but this had nothing on an English crowd. The guys on the lower half of the card worked very hard and the guys on the main event didn’t, so it fits very well. There’s a lot of house show stuff in here and it’s just not that interesting. If you can actually find this, don’t bother watching it unless you speak German or just REALLY like WCW.




Monday Nitro – March 26, 2001 – With Special Guest Stars, Vince and Shane McMahon!

Monday Nitro
Date: March 26, 2001
Location: Boardwalk Beach Resort, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

So in case you’re not getting the date or the significance, this is the final Nitro. Three days prior to this (or so) Vince bought WCW from Turner and the Monday Night War came to an end. In short, this is it. This is the end of WCW vs. WWF. Vince has won and everyone knows it now. As for the show, it’s being billed as Night of Champions, despite there being two title matches but whatever. This is an historic show and I remember being SHOCKED, so let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon in the Raw interview area, talking about how he’s bought the company and its fate is in his hands. Tonight there will be a simulcast where he’ll explain things. This is bizarre.

Even their intro video sucked at this point.

Scott and Tony talk about how stunned they are about this.

And here’s Ric Flair. Oh this should be good. His hair being spiked is just wrong for some reason. He gives a very emotional speech, talking about how great his time in the company has been, which based on what I’ve read is nonsense, but he belongs out there on the final show and that’s all there is to it. Flair breaks kayfabs and says that Vince’s Dad voted for him to be world champion back in 1981. This is mainly about the holding the company in the palm of your hands thing. Flair makes one final request: if this is the last night, he wants Sting one more time.

WCW World Title/US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

This is title for title with Booker as US Champion. They slug it out in the middle and Booker hits a bit spinning heel kick to take over. This is outside mind you. We hear about how the US Champion is the #1 contender, which NEVER happened if you think about it, kind of making it a running joke. Midajah and her chest slaps Booker in the face.

Steiner swings a lead pipe at Booker but he hits the post instead in kind of a scary move. Scott moves onto a Bow and Arrow which doesn’t do much. A kind of botched dropkick and Booker starts his comeback. Ghetto Blaster (Axe kick) hits and we get a Spinarooni. Side Kick and it’s ALL Booker here. Book End is blocked for two. They’re FLYING through this. Book End is the counter to a powerbomb and it makes Booker the world champion again. Literally this didn’t break 6 minutes.

Rating: C-. Not terrible I guess considering they had to fly through this but there wasn’t much here. No one can beat Steiner in like 4 months and Booker does it in five minutes? They couldn’t give this a few more minutes? It was kind of a formality I guess but it just could have been done far better. Not awful though.

Vince blasts Panama City and WCW. Great to see that Vince spent millions of dollars on something that sucked.

3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Kaz Hayashi/Yun Yang

Winners get a Cruiserweight Tag Title shot later. Yang is more commonly known as Jimmy Wang Yang and a member of 3 Count is now Shannon Moore. Everybody does a bunch of flips and dives to the floor with no rhyme or reason to them. Yang sends Rey into the buckle and hits a huge corkscrew moonsault called Yang Time. This is under tornado rules apparently. BIG 450 from Evan Karagis but Kidman makes the save. For the finish, imagine Moore being in position for Orton’s DDT but turned face up. Rey hits a springboard legdrop on him there to end it. I didn’t skip anything in the description. It was really that fast.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but at under four minutes how into it can you get? This was just to give the challengers a disadvantage against Skipper and Romeo later on. The spots were shaky but hey, it’s the last night of the company so who cares? Not bad but nothing we haven’t seen a million times before and better.

Trish brings Vince some champagne but they make out instead.

We recap the GREAT Chavo vs. Helms rivalry.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Shane Helms

Back in the dying days of WCW, one of the few things they NAILED was Chavo, who was absolutely awesome for about a year before the company closed. Shane has an intro with dancing girls a rap that he performs and lights. Shane was very popular as well mainly due to just doing awesome things in the ring. Nice belly to back by Chavo as the fans actually seem into this.

Tony tries to talk about how WCW has been about the youth. That’s just funny. Actually it isn’t, because having that not be the case is a big reason as to why the company died. High cross body from the top for the champion for two. T-Bone gets two. Ton of reversals into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Very fast paced match here.

More reversals into the Sugar Smack (Superkick) and then the Vertebreaker is blocked. He can’t get out of the second one and it ends the match. That move is both awesome but also scary at the same time, which makes me understand why they wouldn’t let it be used in the WWF, as it was just too much of a liability.

Rating: B-. Again good match but at like four and a half minutes how into it can you get? Everything is in fast forward speed tonight and it’s kind of taking me out of the show. This is the polished up version of WCW since it’s not being treated like a serious company anymore but rather an All Star show, which helps it a lot I think. Nothing special here, but good enough.

Ad for Slim Jims with Randy Savage, who was out of WCW for about a year at this point if not more. Yeah his last match in WCW was in August of 99.

Remember the Titans is on VHS and DVD. That’s amusing.

Booker says he’s not done yet.

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

The more famous guys are challenging. Team Canada won a non-title match last week to get this. See, why is logic like that so complicated? That’s a basic story and it gives perfect justification as to why we are where we are here. After a quick break, Vince is with Trish again and Cole interrupts them. He says a bunch of WCW related people are worried and Vince threatens to fire Cole. PLEASE DO IT VINCE!

Storm of course starts with technical stuff. Tony almost says World Tag Titles but has to shift to WCW Tag Titles. Slingshot splash by Awesome for two. Hot tag to O’Haire and he beats the crap out of Awesome, hitting his weird reverse Samoan Drop. I could watch Lance Storm throw superkicks all day. Palumbo hits his Jungle (super) kick and the Shawnton Bomb ends it.

Rating: C-. I always liked all four of these guys so I was a fan of this feud. The match of course was really short so it’s kind of hard to grade, but at the same time this was ok I guess. It put the champions over and didn’t give us a title change for the sake of a title change, so I can’t really complain about that at all. Decent match but again nothing great at all.

Recap of Bigelow vs. Stasiak. Stasiak has Stacy and is doing something close to what Dolph Ziggler is doing at the moment. If he loses he has to get a tattoo.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They set this up last week so they have to throw it on here. Bigelow brings the tattoo kit with him. These two feuded for a few months and we were never told why they got so much time. I guess someone thought it was a good idea for some reason? Flying….something misses from Stasiak and Bigelow goes up for the headbutt. It hits but there’s Stacy to be hot. She interferes and a neckbreaker from Shawn ends it.

Rating: N/A. At least we got to look at Stacy.

Regal shows off his shirt to Vince. He tells Vince that it might be a bad idea to buy WCW. This was pointless.

We get a highlight reel of champions to play up the Night of Champions thing, which is always fun.

Vince says it’s just about that time.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Sting cuts a very energetic promo about fighting Flair one more time.

Vince is walking down a hall.

Ric Flair vs. Sting

Something just feels right about saying that. Flair is in a t-shirt here, which is fine with me as if nothing else it makes him look decent. He looks skinny as a rail here. The announcers point out that Sting never jumped but Flair did. Not exactly but hey who cares about history right? They recap Flair vs. Sting which is always fun. Hudson tries to talk about how Flair vs. Sting went against Mania 4. What Hudson isn’t mentioning is how badly WCW got slaughtered as Mania 4 outdrew Mania 3.

Tony talks about how we’ve seen this match thousands of times. I was thinking more like 15 but whatever. There’s the press slam from Sting which never gets old. And there’s the Flair Flop which brings a smile to my face. This is more or less Sting vs. Flair’s Greatest Hits as they’re just doing their basic spots. Dropkick misses and it’s time for the leg. Figure Four goes on and Sting is in trouble!

Could he submit? Will he give up? For the first time ever will Sting tap out to Flair? If you don’t know the answers to those questions, just leave now as I can’t help you. Basic comeback occurs and there’s the Scorpion for the tap out. They hug as they should do to end this.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was just the short version of their match as they had no angle or time here, but this wasn’t supposed to be a major match. It was a feel good moment which is what it was supposed to be. Fine for what it was, which is the best description that I can give it.

I’m going to cut the review here, because at this point the simulcast begins and since I’m going to do the Raw from this night next I’ll just review it in there since it’ll be literally the same stuff.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the idea of the night of champions thing was good but the breakneck pace of the show made it rather annoying as there was just too much going on at once. It’s ok I guess but it’s not much more than that. It says a lot that one of their best shows in years had no context or angles worth anything to speak of. This was an ok show, which obviously should be seen for historical purposes. Decent show for what it was, but more important or history than anything on the card itself.




WCW Greed – The Final PPV, Thank Goodness

Greed
Date: March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

So here you are: the final WCW PPV. The company would be bought by Vince in less than a week and Vince would be on Nitro in 8 days. The main event here is more or less inconsequential but it’s DDP vs. Steiner in a falls count anywhere match for the title. I think the company knew it was dead at this point but no one wanted to admit it. The TV slot was about to die and no one cared here but it’s famous in wrestling history since it’s the last WCW show, so let’s get to it.

This was around the time that they stopped calling their shows anything sensible like Souled Out or Uncensored and went with Sin and Greed respectively. What they have to do with this show is never explained but that’s par for the course at this point.

Page says his idea is the Diamond Cutter. Yep that’s it.

The arena looks TINY. Tony says if it’s pro wrestling it must be Greed. What the heck does that even mean?

Kwee Wee vs. Jason Jett

Jett is more commonly known as EZ Money from ECW and would get a solid push in the final weeks of the company where he was fairly awesome. Jett hits a huge plancha immediately and gets the crowd going. It’s amusing to hear the announcers talk about the future of WCW since that would be about 8 days at this point. Jett is more or less awesome so they put him with Kwee Wee who won the Miss TNA pageant in their early days.

He misses a suicide dive and Jett hits a DDT off the apron to continue dominating. Jett gets launched to the floor and Kwee Wee snaps, going into his zone. He gets compared to Thesz for the Press. Kwee Wee morphs into Angry Alan which is his angry side or something like that. Tony says he goes too far because of a reverse chinlock. HE’S SO ANGRY!!!

Apparently Falls Count Anywhere was added earlier tonight. Before then it was just a regular match. Wow and they wonder why they never got any buys. Jett goes for a powerbomb off the top but Wee reverses in mid air into a rana which looked awesome. He’s a lot better than he was built up to be and certainly is here. And now he’s out on the floor. I must have missed something. A top rope elbow misses (Jett played possum and signaled to the fans to be quiet about it which you NEVER see anymore) and the Crash Landing, a release vertical suplex, ends it.

Rating: B. For an opener between two guys you’ll never hear from again, this was a solidopener. The Cruiserweight stuff could have been very good in the next few months given who they had in there that was going well. It also shows the issues of the company as they’re in financial peril and they bring in new guys still. This was a very good and fun match though, so I’d bet it’s also the highlight of the show.

We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Title Tournament which sets up the first title match here.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Skipper is a Deion Sanders character, even having the same catchphrases. Romeo is a guy that is famous for nothing and dances a lot. I’m sure you know the other two. Also in the tournament was a team called Air Raid, which was comprised of two guys named Air Paris and Air Styles. Air Styles would be in the first match for a company called TNA in 15 months under the name AJ Styles.

Kidman and Romeo start us off with Kidman being far more awesome than Romeo. Then again he went home and screwed Torrie Wilson so that kind of makes it impossible to overcome. I think I was the only person that liked Skipper. Rey’s knees still work here so he’s completely awesome. He’s also unmasked here but he could still move.

We hit the floor and you can really see how small the arena is. The faces hit a pair of running dives off the stage to take out both guys which looked awesome. They add in a double chokeslam (WTF?) on Skipper for two. Romeo is pretty much the arrogant jerk and does really weak covers. Hudson keeps trying to tell us how great these belts are and how important they are which is really funny yet also annoying.

Kidman takes over again with a sitout spinebuster from the middle rope. Hot tag to Rey and he cleans a lot of houses. Romeo hits a dive, leaving Kidman in the ring but he hits a huge dive to take out everyone. Everybody is down on the floor as we kind of stop for a bit. The match more or less breaks down at this point. Skipper has had a bad shoulder for most of the match.

Tiger suplex into a guillotine legdrop gets two on Rey. I thought that would have been it. The faces hit a double team move for two as well. Good freaking night I can’t stand the Bronco Buster. It’s just freaking annoying. Kidman and Skipper go to the floor but back in the ring Romeo hits Emerald Flosion for the pin and the first titles.

Rating: B. Another solid match here as they put both matches that they had that were exciting on first so that the exciting guys didn’t steal the spotlight from the major guys later on. Well why would you do that as it might make people think that these guys are good. This was a good match though with lots of high spots that got the crowd going after they did that just before. This is another thing WCW messed up on: match placement. You have a fast paced opener and then you put this on maybe 4th or so to keep the crowd going or wake them up a bit later. Now they’re spent 35 minutes into the night with over two hours left. It’s simple stuff like that which can make or break a PPV.

Buff Bagwell goes into Flair’s locker room. This is during the Magnificent Seven angle, including the HUGE star of Road Warrior Animal. Flair has spiked hair here too. They’re feuding with Dustin and Dusty Rhodes. See where we’re at here? Someone jumped them last week and they’re mad. This didn’t ever get resolution I don’t think. It’s a documentary of some kind.

Stacy Keibler is dating Shawn Stasiak now and is Ms. Hancock again. Bam Bam Bigelow is mad about having to listen to her complain or something, setting this up.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Oh please make it quick. Stasiak says he’s great and is the Mecca of Manhood apparently. This is the Shawn and Stacy Show and we see why Stasiak never gets to talk. It’s a shame that this match had to happen. We had two very good matches to start us off and then we got to look at Stacy who looks hot like that. And that ends the good stuff here as Bigelow is just WAY past his usefulness at this point.

Is there a reason why this is on a PPV? I know it’s a dark time for the company (ok that’s an understatement) but seriously? Tony keeps calling this The Greed Pay Per View. It’s really weird sounding. We pause to see if Stasiak needs a replacement tooth due to a clothesline. And now he wants a time out. Bigelow hits a dropkick to the thigh or so and we hit the floor again.

Bigelow gives chase this time and we brawl for a bit. Can’t you tell how riveting this stuff is so far? Stasiak hits a top rope cross body but stops to pose. Top rope headbutt kills Stasiak but here’s Stacy to look hot. She throws Stasiak hairspray and a neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D. Boring match here with nothing of note happening. Again, this is what they went with on PPV? At least Stacy looked good. That’s about all I’ve got as far as good stuff goes here. The match was just boring and never got going or was never good or anything like that. Terrible match but at least it was short.

The Cat is here and his girl is ticked off at Kanyon.

The new Cruiserweight Tag Champions are WAY too happy with their new belts but shake hands before it gets too homosexual.

We kind of recap Team Canada vs. Morrus/Konnan. Yeah whatever.

Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan

Team Canada is Mike Awesome and Lance Storm, since after a lot of months fighting for American, Awesome remembered he was Canadian and joined them. It’s that kind of a company. No anthem plays for Storm and he’s mad about it. Morrus is the laughing man again and no one cares at all. He runs out alone and here comes Konnan like 10 seconds later for no apparent reason.

Awesome and Morrus start and it’s a brawl all the way. Can’t you see how riveting this match is going to be? I didn’t know Konnan had a job at this point actually. The heels do their blind switch which is as basic of a heel tactic as there ever has been. Tony talks about how Morrus and Konnan are locker room leaders. For some reason that comes off as nonsense to me.

Konnan is in trouble now as his team hasn’t had control at all the entire time here. The fans chant USA to get their Mexican guy fighting harder. They stop as I guess they realize their idiocy. Storm misses a dropkick so bad that it just looks awful. Naturally it gets two so at least that wasn’t the end. A piledriver that belonged on a celebrity gets two again as this is just not interesting at all.

Konnan has a cover and doesn’t realize it so he rolls off to tag Morrus in. Awesome Splash gets two as this squash needs to end. An American gives a Canadian a German suplex but can’t hit the moonsault. Storm’s interference lets the running Awesome Bomb end it.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse. It’s certainly not great but it could have been worse I guess. Was there supposed to be a point here? If there was I certainly didn’t see it. Storm and Awesome were so painfully wasted in WCW and it’s just pathetic to see so. Total filler here with no point at all.

Dusty and Dustin are getting ready for the kissing match as he has burritos brought in. Yep this is their idea of comedy.

The documentary continues as we talk to the US Champion, Rick Steiner. What does that tell you here?

Palumbo and O’Haire say they’ll keep the tag titles. Luger had been complaining backstage about having to job to these rookies. Keep that in mind.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero

They put the wrong graphic up for the match just to show how inept they were here. Helms and Guerrero were more or less perfect in this division at this time so this should rock. Helms has his own rap song and his own dance team called the Sugar Babies. He’s Sugar Shane Helms if that clears up anything else. He also has a great finisher called the Vertebreaker.

They start off rather slowly with Shane being a fast paced guy and Chavo being more of a Dean Malenko style guy. Very nice technical and mat basted stuff gets us to a standoff. Shane is a heel here I think but it’s not exactly clear. Regal Stretch, which is different than the STFU, by Chavo and Helms is in trouble.

Chavo takes over and apparently he’s the heel. It’s not a good sign when about halfway through this match and I’m just getting that. Huge dive to the floor gets no reaction. I don’t get this crowd: they just don’t seem to care about anything at all and it’s rather annoying. Shane does some basic stuff to take us back to even and both guys are down. Decent match so far.

Shane keeps kicking out and the Tornado DDT is blocked. Nightmare on Helm Street, the Eye of the Hurricane later on, gets two. Top rope cross body gets two in a cool looking move. Shane did it which I left out somehow. Vertebreaker hits on Chavo to let us hear that rap song again as Shane wins the title which I think was the final title change until the WWE stuff.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but it never clicked to get it up to that top level. This was pretty good here though although the crowd just flat out did not care. I think you can chalk this up to the company just being dead at this point though. The match was good though, but it just never really got off the ground well enough to be very good. Solid use of about 15 minutes though.

Jarrett continues the whole documentary thing by talking to Flair. For some reason I get Sam Malone from Cheers here out of Flair. No connection at all but that’s what I got there.

Booker says he’ll win tonight and get the final title he’s never won.

Like geniuses they show us a wide shot where the upper arena is totally empty.

We recap the feud with Totally Buff vs. Palumbo/O’Haire. The only thing I can tell here is that Luger helped get Palumbo here and now they’re more popular so Luger is mad.

Tag Titles; Totally Buff vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

It’s Luger and Bagwell as Totally Buff. Luger just looks old and worthless here. Bagwell has to be one of the longest tenured guys in the company at this point. They invoke the name of Goldberg, knowing he’s gone. The champions have techno music here which is kind of odd. It’s a big brawl to start and the champions are dominating. Superkick from Palumbo sets up a pair of Seanton Bombs to end this in less than a minute. This was Luger’s punishment for being a whiny man child like I told you about. Yeah they start punishing guys 5 days before they’re bought. Nice guys. No rating of course but Palumbo looked good in the tights.

Steiner is warming up and yells at Page about everything and is of course is scary here.

We recap Kanyon beating up Cat’s chick Ms. Jones. Also the big black stereotypical bodyguard of Kanyon was involved somehow.

We have to delay the match as Totally Buff is down still. Holy crushing Batman.

The Cat vs. Kanyon

To this day I’m not sure if Miss Jones was hot or not. They start brawling on the stage and Kanyon’s bad hand is worked on. He has a bad hand? Good to know I suppose. I never got the appeal of Miller. He wasn’t a good talker and could only kick. All Cat to start and very limited responses from the crowd. Why did no one call his mama? No one ever did that and I’ve always wondered why. It can’t be hard or anything like that.

Kanyon hits a top rope clothesline to take over as the crowd just does not care. It’s actually really weird to hear them being this silent for almost passable wrestling. They’re not even booing. There is just nothing going on here. There’s action and there’s decent stuff, but at the end I just think so what. What here is going to mean anything? I don’t mean for the company as nothing matters, but this just feels like two guys doing wrestling moves on each other for no apparent reason.

Cat dances and kicks a lot. He has a James Brown elbow. Give me a break. A big kick which may have been his finisher gets two. Kanyon puts his feet on the ropes and gets three but the referee calls it off because of the feet. Rollup for Cat gets two as I want this OVER. Ah ok THERE is the finisher for two.

A cast shot gets two as I am begging for this match to end. Kanyon hits the referee and Miss Jones gets in. She of course accidentally kicks Cat and then fights Kanyon. A big spinning kick from Cat ends it. See what I mean about the whole he can only kick thing? It’s the same issue I have with Kaval but not so bad in the NXT case. Kanyon jumps Miller afterwards and the I guess former Kanyon bodyguard makes the save.

Rating: D. Like I said it was ok from a wrestling perspective but GOOD NIGHT this was boring. I kept watching the whole time and wanted something to care about. Miller was pushed forever in the vain hopes that someone cared about him. This was just twelve more minutes of nothing at all.

Bagwell and Luger argue.

The Rhodes talk about Dusty’s condition after he ate those burritos. Moving on.

Booker was out hurt and came back, challenging for the US Title. He might be hurt. That’s about it.

US Title: Booker T vs. Rick Steiner

Yeah Rick Steiner is the US Champion in 2001. Like I said, you get the idea that things weren’t that good around this time in the company. Booker is thrown into the front row to start the match as Steiner is dominant early. He was known for not selling ANYTHING at this time and it seems that way to start here. Steiner looks weird without the headgear.

Booker lands a few punches and Steiner doesn’t even go backwards. Double Underhook Powerbomb gets two and it’s chinlock time…two and a half minutes in. Steiner kicks him again to stop having to sell. Hey look it’s another rest hold. Booker hits an Angle Slam and Steiner beats him to his feet. A belly to belly gives Rick control back since he has to have it because otherwise….well Steiner wouldn’t have control.

We’re on rest hold #3 in three minutes and 30 seconds. Booker fights out of it and Steiner shrugs off elbows. Even GOLDBERG sold more than this. Forearm and Steiner is up in less than two seconds. He dead weights him on a spinebuster so Booker looks weak as a result. The Axe Kick is called the Ghetto Blaster, which is the name of Bad News Brown’s finisher from back in the day.

Steiner is of course back on offense maybe 5 seconds later with a German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Steiner can’t get a cover since he’s dominating at the time. Shane Douglas pops up and hits Rick with the cast. HE DOESN’T EVEN FALL DOWN. He swings but winds up in the Book End (Rock Bottom) for the pin. This gave Booker every heavyweight title in the company.

Rating: D-. That’s out of pity for Booker. Total and complete lack of professionalism from Steiner here as he was knocked back maybe a total of 3 inches by about ten punches from Booker. He wouldn’t even sell a cast to the back of the head. This was ridiculous to say the least and Booker did everything he could here but there was no way this was going to be passable. Just an awful match, but Steiner is the vast majority of the problem here.

Buff is in Steiner’s locker room and is out cold. Animal is looking down at him and Luger suggests it was Animal. Pretty sure the attacker’s identity was never revealed.

We recap the Rhodes vs. Flair/Jarrett feud. This included a Dusty imitation by Jarrett which is like a requirement to be a pro wrestler. They just don’t like each other with no real explanation.

Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair

The losers have to kiss up to the winners shall we say.  Flair is in a Hawaiian shirt as we talk about burritos. Something tells me this is going to be a comedy match minus the comedy. Animal is here too. Dusty’s music is a cover/parody of his WWF music of all things. Uh…sure why not. Jarrett is fighting on his own apparently. Ok never mind no he won’t be. Animal gets thrown out before we get started.

Dustin TOWERS over his dad. Jarrett and Dustin start us off. The faces are of course dressed in cowboy stuff since that’s all they can wear. Let the crotch grabbing begin! Flair comes in and beats up Dustin for a bit as we wait for the hot tag to the guy in the mid-50s. Dusty comes in and gets a standing ovation. Yeah Flair vs. Dusty, the main event of Starrcade EIGHTY FOUR is the biggest thing of the night. That’s a horrible sign for a wrestling company.

Dusty cleans house before Dustin comes in. Shattered Dreams is blocked by a low blow. It’s called the Dust Buster here to continue making my head hurt. Jarrett goes after the knee since everyone has to use a Figure Four. And there it is. Dusty of course does nothing about it because that would be naughty. Both guys get tags after the hold is broken and Dusty cleans house.

Dusty’s big elbow gets two. Flair shouts NO but doesn’t roll out of the way or anything like that. I guess that would make too much sense or something. A pair of low blows and the heels go for a double figure four, which fails. Dustin manages to screw up a small package but pins Flair anyway. Post match Dusty drops his pants and kind of does a Stinkface but it’s awful. Can we move on please?

Rating: D-. Somehow this was better than the previous few matches. Dusty is the high spot of the show though and that’s never a good sign. It says that no one buys the young guys and would rather see the old guys from like 15 years ago. It’s the worst thing you can have and the idea is to have the old guys put the young guys over. WCW never got that but whatever. Match sucked.

Recap of Steiner vs. everyone. Steiner has eliminated all of the faces but DDP so that’s his goal tonight.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is the young guy here at 38. Falls Count Anywhere and it’s No DQ. They’ve remixed DDP’s music here because a catchy theme song simply wasn’t needed. Slugout to start and Page wins early. Top rope clothesline for two. They brawl to the announce table and Steiner takes over. Now we’re in the crowd. The falls counting anywhere is a good stipulation here as it makes the brawling seem important. There’s a brawl by the Spanish Announce Table. Sure why not.

Steiner steals a crutch from a kid wearing a DDP shirt and shoves him down. How appropriate. Page puts him through a table for two. There’s a trash can with trash in it. There’s a new one. Steiner shoves a “fan” and steals something from him to hit DDP in the head. No clue what it was but it looked like a vinyl record. This is an ok match but it’s not a classic or anything.

We hit the fifth belly to belly because we need like 9 in a Steiner match. Page hits some punches to come back as we have to be close to the ending here. Feet on the ropes gets two for Scott. NICE jumping DDT for Page gets no count but a sign for the Cutter. Diamond Cutter hits on the second attempt but Rick Steiner makes the save. AIR PAGE as he dives over the top to take out Rick.

The referee goes down but gets a two on a rollup by Page. Down goes the referee again and a belt shot makes Page bleed for two and a BIG pop from the crowd on the kick out. And here’s a Boston Crab. Ok then. Page is WAY busted. The horrible chinlock doesn’t work so Rick punches Page again. It’s a No DQ match so why does the referee have to be distracted? Lead pipe shots to Page sets up another Recliner to end it.

Rating: C. Not bad here as it was just a big old brawl for the most part. I have no idea what the booking was supposed to do as there were no faces left for Steiner as he beat Booker for the title and everyone else was gone. This wasn’t much of a match as it was really just a big and long fight. Still good though as Page had the crowd behind him. Can we get Rick shot now though so we don’t have to see him again?

Overall Rating
: D+. Well, it didn’t suck. That’s certainly true as there were two very good matches to start and a good main event. In between though….eh it wasn’t that bad I guess. The Cruiserweight match was ok and there was some other decent stuff in here also. The kissing match was AWFUL as was a lot of the other stuff. It’s more good than bad, but not by much at all. I liked it and it went by quickly so that’s a good thing. This wasn’t terrible, but given that they were done in 8 days it really doesn’t mean much. Not worth seeing although the first two matches are good.