Monday Night Raw – January 6, 2003 (2017 Redo): Who Says Nitro Is Gone?
Monday Night Raw Date: January 6, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s a new year and somehow we’re stuck with Scott Steiner vs. HHH for the Raw World Title because HHH needs to make it clear that he has the best body in the world. Well the world of wrestling that is. Other than that we have Booker T. and Goldust as the Tag Team Champions, but far more importantly D’Lo Brown being held back by the man. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of last week’s HHH vs. Steiner arm wrestling contest. How manly it was.
The Dudleys come out for a match but here are Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely to say we’re changing things up a bit. We see a package on Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler beating Lance Storm/William Regal thanks to Bubba and D-Von. Bischoff says this is going to be his year so let’s start with a handicap match.
3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boyz
Ric Flair is with Batista (confirmed for the Rumble) for a bonus. It’s a brawl to start (of course) with Jamal being sent outside and Rico eating a very early 3D for two with Batista making the save. Even Chief Morely comes down for some right hands to Bubba as things finally settle down with Batista beating on D-Von.
The spinebuster looks to finish but the referee won’t count for some reason. Bischoff comes in and demands the count, only to have Batista pull him up at two. Bubba comes back in and slugs away but Rosey suplexes him down. Flair grabs a Figure Four and Jamal adds a top rope splash to crush Bubba again. The Batista Bomb finally ends D-Von.
Rating: D-. I guess this is the latest Corporation knockoff and the Dudleys are supposed to be important enough to be the adversaries. I’m not sure how bright it is to start a brand new year with something like this, especially with Steiner vs. HHH as the big story on top. Obviously not really even a match but no one ever accused Raw of being a wrestling show at this point.
Regal and Storm come out to yell at JR and Lawler before heading to the ring to beat on the Dudleys even more.
Flair tells HHH that the project is coming along nicely. HHH goes on about how awesome he is and brags about his physique. That physique has been featured on the cover of Flex Magazine but Steiner comes in to answer HHH’s challenge for a posedown later tonight.
Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Victoria/Molly Holly
Victoria runs Jackie over to start and it’s quickly off to Molly for the handspring elbow in the corner. Trish tries to come in but the distraction just lets the villains put Jackie in a camel clutch/Boston crab combination. That goes nowhere since it would likely kill Jackie so it’s off to Trish for the house cleaning. A rollup has Victoria pinned but Steven Richards turns it over so Victoria can grab the tights for the pin.
Rating: D. The wrestling isn’t exactly off to a good start this year. This was your standard women’s tag match of the day, meaning it just kind of kept going as we keep waiting until we can get to Victoria vs. Trish for the title again. Or until Lita can return from injury, which is the real long term solution.
Booker T. and Goldust don’t like the idea of the Year of Bischoff and laugh at the idea of humiliating the boss.
Bischoff is livid and makes Booker/Goldust vs. Storm/Regal for later.
Here’s Chris Jericho for a chat. He wants to be back in the main event of Wrestlemania so he can regain the World Title. Jericho doesn’t care who he faces to win the title back because he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Cue Shawn Michaels to say he understands the idea of needing to be the best.
Jericho thinks he’s the best and Shawn isn’t going to dispute that. What Jericho needs is the validation from everyone in the arena, everyone watching this TV show and everyone in the back to know he’s the best. To do that, Jericho needs to volunteer to be the #1 entrant in the Rumble. Chris brings up the 1995 Rumble with Shawn lasting from beginning to end (details left out, as you might expect) because Shawn has to make everything about himself.
That brings Jericho to beating Austin and Rock in the same night because Shawn never beat either of them. Shawn cuts him off and says if Jericho won’t enter at #1, he will. A fight is teased but RNN BREAKING NEWS brings out Randy Orton live. Orton has two points to make: his shoulder is up to 93% mobility but more importantly, he’s the NEW sexy boy. Shawn punches him in the face and the fight is on with Jericho stomping away. Rob Van Dam comes in but the numbers get to him, thanks to Christian running in as well. Kane makes the save. Good segment but a forced way to set up a likely tag match for later.
Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Goldust vs. Lance Storm/William Regal
Storm and Regal are challenging and stare Lawler and JR down during their entrance. Booker hammerlocks Storm to start and drops a knee to the chest. Bischoff looks miserable in his office as Goldust comes in to stay on the arm. It’s off to Regal to get his arm cranked a bit as well until Storm gets in a cheap shot to let the evil foreigners take over.
We’re already in the chinlock with Regal and Storm both taking turns keeping Booker in trouble. Since chinlocks are only going to get you so far, Booker is right back up and making the hot tag off to Goldust. The Hart Attack with a sidekick drops Storm but Regal kicks the referee to the floor with the champs quickly following him out.
Back from a break with Chief Morely taking over as referee because WWE referees are the weakest human beings alive. Not that it matters as Booker kicks Morely down, leaving no one to count the ax kick on Storm. A third referee comes in to count two and see the hot tag to Goldust as everything breaks down again.
Storm gets Goldust to charge into a clothesline as the challengers take over again. A knee to the back sets up a chinlock for all of a few seconds before it’s off to Booker to clean house. Morely pulls the third ref out though, allowing Regal to KO Booker with the knuckles for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B-. Just in case you thought something might be different in the second half of the show. This puts the villains up 3-0 as the Bischoff dominance continues. At least the match was entertaining due to the talent involved. It was your usual overbooked mess of a title change but you have to expect something like that, especially with people who HHH probably thinks doesn’t know how to work.
Regal and Storm thank Bischoff for the chance.
Raw Retro is Sable taking off the potato sack to reveal the swimsuit. The Raw Tenth Anniversary is next week. I’ll begin bracing now.
Test vs. Christopher Nowinski
Stacy Keibler and D’Lo Brown are the seconds here, the latter due to a really bad pre-match promo. Apparently Stacy and the referees are prejudiced against an intelligent black man. Nowinski: “Tonight, can I be down with the brown?” D’Lo offers an early distraction so Chris can send Test shoulder first into the post. Test fights out of an armbar and decks Brown, followed by a full nelson slam for two. The big boot is grabbed by Brown but Test hits the Roll of the Dice to end Nowinski anyway.
Brown hits a Sky High to take Test out.
Christian tells Jericho that he’s in the Rumble too, which Jericho thinks means he has an assistant. That’s not exactly what Christian had in mind so tensions are teased. Orton comes in and tells them to worry about Rob Van Dam and Kane tonight.
Scott Steiner was on a bodybuilding magazine too, albeit back in 2000.
Recap of the arm wrestling contest from two weeks ago.
HHH is warming up for the posedown. He’s still manly.
It’s posedown time with HHH now in a jacket, which is likely covered with all the oil he was rubbing over his chest. HHH talks about how awesome it is to be World Champion and picks six fans from the crowd to be judges for the contest. They just happen to be six guys sitting in the front row and happen to look like wrestlers themselves.
Coach has to call out three mandatory poses just like at Mr. Olympia. Steiner comes out and this is somehow still going despite not even starting yet. The pose three times each with Steiner getting far stronger of a reaction, despite HHH (the bodybuilding fanatic), likely dominating if you’re actually talking about real bodybuilding technique.
The judges give it to HHH unanimously so Steiner asks for a fan vote. Since HHH won’t do that, we’ll have a push-up contest instead. They get to about fifteen but the judges attack Steiner as HHH bails. Steiner beats the heck out of all of them to FINALLY end this segment after twenty minutes (counting the arm wrestling recap and HHH manliness segment).
Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam
Orton and Michaels are in the respective corners. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys clearing the ring, followed by a running flip dive from Van Dam. Back in and Rob goes up, only to have an Orton distraction allow Christian to shove him off the top. The Canadians take over with Jericho getting in a belly to back and dropping some elbows.
We hit the double arm crank for a bit so Lawler asks JR if he thinks Orton is sexy. Thankfully Rob fights up before JR has to answer but Jericho sends him outside again. Orton’s latest attempt at interference earns him some Sweet Chin Music, only to have Chris send Shawn into the steps.
Back in and Rob kicks Christian away for the hot tag to Kane. A double suplex drops Christian and Jericho and the top rope clothesline makes things even worse. The Conchairto doesn’t work as the chairs only hit each other, leaving Shawn to pull Jericho to the floor. Back in and Van Dam kicks Christian into the chokeslam, followed by the Five Star for the pin.
Rating: D. They didn’t have time to do anything but the signature moves and a bunch of brawling here but that’s what you get when you have a freaking push-up contest in the previous segment. It’s nice to see some faces win for a change after a very long night of heel dominance.
Bischoff makes Regal vs. Lawler for next week but gets a phone call. Vince will be here next week.
Overall Rating: D-. This was a really rough one and one incredibly overbooked match is nowhere near enough to save the thing. It felt like I was watching an NWO episode of Nitro with heel dominance all night long, a VERY lengthy segment that set up a match with the potential to be a disaster and a lot of stuff that did nothing but fill in time. This show was really, really bad and it’s made even worse by the fact that we’re thirteen days from the Rumble and all of four names seem to have been announced. HHH vs. Steiner needs to happen already because the time dedicated to that really could be useful elsewhere.
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Impact Wrestling – May 25, 2017: And There Goes The Steam
Impact Wrestling Date: May 25, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
It’s time for another triple threat match, this time with World Title implications. Tonight it’s James Storm vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Magnus in a match that will likely help set up the World Title picture as we approach Slammiversary. We’re about six weeks away from the pay per view, meaning it’s almost time to start setting things up. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s show, focusing on the Ultimate X match and the setup for tonight’s triple threat.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Bruce Prichard to get things going with Tyrus as his new bodyguard. Despite what Carter did to him last week, Bruce wants to get us to the most important thing around: the Impact Wrestling Heavyweight Championship. This brings out Lashley, who brags about his dominance. He doesn’t care about the people in the triple threat match, which does seem to be for a shot at the title.
Before Bruce can announce the challenger, here’s Carter to say he’ll win and get the title shot. Magnus comes out to say the same thing because Lashley has never beaten him. Naturally Storm is here to say he should be getting the shot. Bruce makes the match a #1 contenders match with the winner getting the shot at Slammiversary (Forget all those weeks of talking about the GFW Title being the golden ticket I guess). He’ll even make it No DQ (because triple threat matches are known for their disqualifications) but no one can touch either of the other two before the match starts.
Carter says he’s winning tonight to fulfill his destiny.
The announcers talk about the upcoming JB/Joseph Park vs. Josh Matthews/??? match at Slammiversary. We’ll find out Matthews’ partner tonight.
KM/Kongo Kong vs. Braxton Sutter/Mahabali Shera
Sutter and Kong get things going with JB saying we’re in for a treat with Kong in the ring. JB needs to learn the definition of “treat”. Allie gets in an argument with Sienna/Laurel Van Ness as Shera can’t slam Kong. He can slam KM but stops due to a Laurel distraction. Since it was just a slam, KM pops up and takes over on Shera. An elbow to the jaw keeps Shera in trouble and it’s back to Kong for a headbutt (giving us quite the jiggle).
Kong hits a belly to belly and a rolling backsplash to take us to a break. Back with Sutter getting the hot tag to clean house, including a middle rope neckbreaker for two on KM. Everything breaks down and the women get into it again, leaving Shera and KM down in the ring. Allie crossbodies both of them, followed by Kong headbutting Shera into a rollup (with trunks) for the pin at 11:30.
Rating: D+. This feud is still going despite not much really changing. It’s still fallout from the wedding but, other than having more people brought in, it doesn’t feel like anything has changed since then. Shera really only seems to be there for the sake of the India tour (at least he wasn’t made World Champion) and Kong is just an embarrassment from a physical standpoint. The feud isn’t horrible but I could go for a fresh plot point instead of just adding a new name.
The guys fight to the back with Allie being surrounded. Cue Rosemary of all people for the save, including mist to Sienna and the Red Wedding to Laurel. So the evil Rosemary is now face yet Allie still can’t get a big win? That seems to be taking a few too many steps in the booking.
GFW Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War
The winners get LAX in the finals because we had a four team tournament to crown a second pair of champions, assuming you don’t count the titles that Bahh and Bokara bring with them. Bokara and Wilcox start things off with a toss into the corner allowing the tag off to Mayweather.
A shot to the face gives Mayweather a little trouble and it’s off to the huge Bahh. Mayweather walks into a Samoan drop, allowing Bahh to bite his own fingers for some reason. Bahh misses a charge into the post and it’s off to Wilcox to clean house. A missed charge sends Bahh to the floor so Mayweather can kick him in the face. The MOAB ends Bokara at 5:08.
Rating: D. Bokara and Bahh haven’t done a thing for me since they debuted and that’s still the case now. It’s an average guy and a low rent Yokozuna imitation which isn’t exactly worth much as a team. The Veterans on the other hand are rather awesome and I’m digging them more every time I see them.
Magnus is ready to win the title shot.
Here’s Matthews to make his announcement. Josh calls JB into the ring to talk about making up for all of his mistakes. Matthews loves Jim Ross, who is the greatest announcer of all time (to clarify: they’re fighting over an announcer who has never and likely never will work here). He’s now a Vice President of the company (Fans: “WASTE OF MONEY!”) and has to act as such. As Pope rips on how stupid this is, Josh offers a handshake but gets cut off by Joseph Park.
We get a history of Josh lying and getting shoved down, which is enough to turn Josh back into his normal, ranting self (So the point of him being nice for two minutes was…..?). Josh goes on about how he should be the face of the Fight Network and calling all the major sporting events. He wants the match right now so here we go.
Josh Matthews vs. Joseph Park
The bell rings and twenty seconds later here’s SCOTT STEINER of all people, despite having lost about 50lbs of muscle since he was last here. No contest of course but JB and Park’s eyes bugging out are great.
JB and Park bail as Steiner shakes the barricade and beats up a fan as Josh hits Park low, allowing Steiner to put him in the Recliner. So to recap: Josh is married to an active wrestler but the only option was to bring in Scott Steiner. What was that chant again? WASTE OF MONEY?
Back from a break with a recap of what we just saw, because that’s really the top story in this company.
Video on Moose’s reign as Grand Champion.
Eli Drake says he isn’t going to change for anyone but has to back off from Moose, who is being held back by security. Moose agrees to give him a title shot next week but Chris Adonis comes in to help on the beatdown.
Alisha Edwards/Eddie Edwards vs. Angelina Love/Davey Richards
It’s a brawl in the aisle to start until the guys officially get things going. Davey rips at Eddie’s face and shouts that Eddie made him do this. Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive, leaving Alisha to hit one of her own on Angelina as we take a break. Back with Davey slapping on a Figure Four for a good while until Eddie fights up for some chops. Josh makes a nice mention of the Manchester attacks as Eddie gets a hot tag to Alisha, meaning it’s off to the women. Alisha misses a high crossbody but comes back with a rollup for the pin at 11:48.
Rating: C-. This was more about Eddie vs. Davey but it’s a good idea to have Alisha get her feet wet like this. The division is dying for some more talent and Edwards would be better than a lot of their options. The match was nothing special but it’s another case of a feud continuing after it probably should have ended, or at least taken a break. Davey vs. Eddie is still good but it needs an endpoint, which I’d assume is at Slammiversary.
Post match Davey handcuffs Eddie as Alisha is powerbombed through a table.
Spud isn’t here tonight (despite saying he would be and given that IT’S A TAPED SHOW that shouldn’t be hard to avoid) but promises to be back next week. As he’s talking, Spud’s mom yells at him from upstairs. Spud: “KAYFABE MOM! KAYFABE!” As usual, Spud is funnier than pretty much everyone else in this promotion.
Magnus vs. Ethan Carter III vs. James Storm
The winner jumps past Alberto for the title shot at Slammiversary, which I’m sure will change. It’s a brawl to start with Carter being sent out to the floor, leaving the other two to chop it out. The fight heads outside in a hurry with Storm taking a double suplex onto the ramp as we take a break.
Back with Josh making fun of JB as the weapons are brought in for the first time. Storm takes a kendo stick to the back but heel miscommunication sees Magnus and Carter both take stick shots. Magnus realizes that’s not a bad thing and unloads on Carter, allowing Storm to make his comeback with a clothesline.
Some chops allow Storm to grab a chair of his own for some hard shots. Carter breaks it up and gets two off the TK3 to Storm, only to be sent to the floor. Storm’s Last Call is countered into a Cloverleaf but Carter makes the save with a chair. The 1%er gets two on Magnus, followed by a Codebreaker with a chair getting the same on Carter.
A Tower of Doom sends Storm flying but he sends Storm heads first into a chair in the corner. Magnus makes the save with a top rope elbow for two. Josh: “You know they’re watching in the UK right now!” The show airs on Friday night Josh, so I doubt that’s true. Storm hits a Last Call on Magnus but Carter throws him to the floor and steals the pin at 20:10.
Rating: B-. Good match but does anyone really believe Carter vs. Lashley is officially set in stone and actually happening now? Like, we’re just supposed to believe that Alberto is going to do something else? I mean, I know common sense isn’t TNA’s strong suit but I could actually see them having two World Title matches and stretching it out to Bound For Glory to make sure they drain any interest people might have in the story. Anyway, good action packed match here and while Carter would have been the favorite, he didn’t feel like a lock to win.
Overall Rating: D+. Once they get done with these double titles, they might actually have something. The problem again comes down to these marathon tapings. You can only go so far with the one idea and it’s probably asking a bit much to have the writers come up with something that fresh in a hurry. Unfortunately that means we’re stuck with stories dragging on forever and a severe lack of steam when they reach the end of a taping cycle. The show was still good but it’s needing a breath of fresh air and I don’t think Scott Steiner is the solution they’re looking for.
Results
Kongo Kong/KM b. Braxton Sutter/Mahabali Shera – Rollup to Shera
Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – MOAB to Bokara
Josh Matthews vs. Joseph Park went to a no contest when Scott Steiner interfered
Alisha Edwards/Eddie Edwards b. Angelina Love/Davey Richards – Rollup to Love
Ethan Carter III b. Magnus and James Storm – Last Call to Magnus
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – December 23, 2002: With Bonus Footage and a House Band
Monday Night Raw Date: December 23, 2002
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the last regular show of the year as next week is a Best Of special. Thankfully that means one less week of Scott Steiner vs. HHH, who last week reached new levels of suck with a long talking segment. Steiner is all flash at this point and I’m really not sure HHH is the one to drag him to the next level. Let’s get to it.
Minor note: this was actually taped a few days earlier due to the holidays.
We open with a long recap of the end of last week’s show. You know the fifteen minute talking segment? Well here it’s cut down to about two and it’s still boring.
Opening sequence.
It’s the Christmas/holiday show so we have a Santa’s Little Helper match. That means the women, though I was hoping for Max Mini vs. Battalion.
Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. 3 Minute Warning
Rosey and Jamal take turns with the pounding forearms to Kane’s back but he sits up, as is his custom. A good looking big boot to the face allows the hot tag to Rob, who is brought in with a rocket launcher crossbody for two on Jamal. Rob gets sent outside so Rico can get in some kicks, allowing the Samoans to take over again. Not that it matters though as Van Dam kicks them away and brings Kane back in to clean house. A clothesline puts Rosey on the floor and it’s the chokeslam into the Five Star to put Jamal away.
Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to make sure you know that the Samoans are done because WWE cares more about whatever their issue was behind the scenes than building up what had potential to be a decent tag division. At least Van Dam and Kane were entertaining and have some potential as a good team.
Post match Rico yells at and slaps both guys. Jamal and Rosey almost get in an argument, which is what Rico was wanting to see.
The bosses are worried about Steiner and HHH getting into it tonight when Spike Dudley comes in to yell about William Regal knocking D-Von out last week. Eric Bischoff makes Spike vs. Batista with the Dudleys banned from ringside.
We see Jim Ross’ entrance, complete with the Oklahoma University marching band playing his theme song.
Earlier today, D’Lo Brown, now in what appears to be a gangsta rapper gimmick, tried to get Stacy Keibler as a marketing assistant. Stacy: “I kind of have my hands full with the Testicles right now.”
Test vs. D’Lo Brown
Fallout from Wrestlemania XV. Test loses a chase to start and gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A whip into the steps makes things worse and Brown start sin on the ribs. We hit an abdominal stretch with Brown hopping over to the ropes for some extra leverage. Test hiptosses him out and grabs the pumphandle slam, only to have Brown get in another shot to the back. The camel clutch doesn’t get him very far and the missed backsplash makes things even worse.
A full nelson slam (which JR calls a full nelson into a chokeslam) gives Test two and the pumphandle slam gets the same with Brown grabbing the rope. Brown goes after Stacy and sends Test into the post off the distraction. He puts his feet on the ropes when he covers though and the referee won’t count. Brown: “IF I WAS WHITE YOU’D COUNT!” Racism is too much for D’Lo and he shoves the referee for the DQ.
Rating: C. Not bad here actually, despite the stupid costume and angle for Brown. Test isn’t exactly over and it’s really Stacy making the sex jokes that are as over as anything else. At least they’re trying something with both guys though, which is at least something of an upgrade for them both. I didn’t say it was a good upgrade but it’s still something.
Brown bails into the crowd.
This week’s Raw Retro is JR kissing Vince’s….yeah.
We see a Jerry Lawler book signing in Memphis.
Here are the bosses to explain the idea of the Royal Rumble being split between the brands. For some reason this is the greatest thing JR and King have ever heard, which doesn’t sit well with Bischoff. We see an off camera moment of JR and King talking about the Raw Retro, where they ripped on Bischoff for ruining the show. Bischoff suggests that he’ll replace them with Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura. Crowd: *SILENCE*. Anyway, Bischoff is giving them a match tonight. Or they can just be fired.
Hurricane vs. Christopher Nowinski
Nowinski jumps him at the bell and gets two off a butterfly slam. Hurricane comes right back with a neckbreaker, only to get chopblocked down. Cue Maven for a distraction though, allowing Hurricane to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin. Hurricane has no direction at all right now and the Tough Enough feud is just continuing.
Worry not: HHH isn’t worried about Steiner and would slap Scott in the head right now if he could. I certainly was worried until we heard that.
Batista vs. Spike Dudley
Spike tries a chase to start but is quickly caught and powerbombed onto the barricade. A clothesline and the Batista Bomb wrap this up in a hurry.
Bischoff and Morely are happy so Morely suggests they fight JR and King later. William Regal and Lance Storm come in and offer their services instead, which Bischoff accepts. The usage of brass knuckles is encouraged.
A camera spies on the women getting ready for the tag match later.
Victoria/Molly Holly/Ivory vs. Jacqueline/Trish Stratus/Stacy Keibler
They’re all in your standard Christmas outfits, save for Molly of course. It’s a brawl to start until Stacy and Molly (who of course is insulted despite looking perfectly fine in a long, sleeveless red dress) with Keibler bending over to show off her red underwear, thereby stopping Molly cold. If that’s not enough, Stacy’s spinwheel kick literally misses Molly the whole way by about four inches but gets two anyway.
Victoria comes in with a suplex as JR wonders if she’s a real woman. Stacy gets beaten down for a bit until the tag brings in Jackie, who quickly takes her place in getting beaten up. The real hot tag brings in Trish to clean house and of course Molly’s dress is pulled up for the “comedy” bit. Jackie grabs a tornado DDT and Trish hits Stratusfaction for the double pin.
Rating: D. I don’t like having to go with this but it could have been FAR worse. They were trying to have a match in there but when most of the match is built around seeing the outfits come up, you can only get so far. Speaking of which, Lawler was his usual self in one of these things, which is kind of odd given when he has to do in about an hour.
Goldust runs into Chris Jericho, who says Goldust is a failure in all walks of life, including his career because it was Booker who won the titles.
Scott Steiner is going to see HHH in the ring later.
Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T./Goldust
Booker and Goldust are defending. Before the match we see Shawn Michaels superkicking Jericho last week. Normally that would suggest the result of this match was obvious but I could see Jericho vs. Michaels with Jericho as a tag champ. Goldust and Christian start things off with the Canadian eating a clothesline. The announcers have come to a strategy in the tag match: Lawler will do everything.
Booker comes in for a suplex to Jericho and Goldust catapults him over the top onto Christian. The offense doesn’t last long though as Jericho dropkicks Goldust in the back and the champs are in some sudden trouble. It’s not long lasting trouble though as Goldust grabs a bad looking neckbreaker to put Christian down, allowing the hot tag off to Booker.
A double side kick drops the Canadians and that means it’s the Christmas Spinarooni. Another kick gets three on Christian but the foot was on the rope as we go to a break. Back with Booker kicking Jericho down again but this time the referee misses the hot tag to Goldust. Even the announcers get on him for this one as Booker stays in trouble. Christian snapmares him into a chinlock as the announcers talk about mothers.
The hold stays on for a good while until Booker fights up and grabs a flapjack. That’s enough for the hot tag to Goldust, who hits a quick Shattered Dreams on Christian. Jericho is sent head first to the same spot and a powerslam gives Goldust two (and one heck of a pop on the near fall). The Walls have Goldust in trouble until Booker makes a save of his own. The Lionsault hits Goldust’s raised knees and Goldust grabs a rollup (with tights) to retain.
Rating: B. It had time and the hot finish makes Goldust look like an equal link to Booker for a change. The Canadians are still a good team and these four could have more good matches if given the chance. At the moment it’s not like the division has a lot of depth in the first place so give them a shot.
Kane is about to leave so Van Dam gives him some merry Christmas wishes. Rob talks about having great Christmases as a child, but Kane spent his Christmases locked in the basement torturing rats with razor blades. Dang now I feel sorry for Rob. Anyway Van Dam gives him his Christmas present: Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Rob goes into an explanation of how the marbles represent obstacles that block your chi. I’m not the most familiar with the concept, but it seems that Rob believes you’re supposed to eat your obstacles. So if you have trouble at work, cook your boss over a fire? Or am I supposed to have him………raw? Kane hates it and Rob knew he should have gone with chutes and ladders.
And now for something I’m actually confused by. On the Network version, D’Lo Brown comes out and says he wants a rematch with Test with Stacy on the line. This isn’t listed anywhere on any report I’ve ever seen, including those written back in 2002 or in any results database I can find. JR seems legitimately confused to start, then says “ok” like he’s talking to someone on headset, and then starts in on regular commentary. Normally I’d assume this was just a dark match during the break for the crowd (remember that it’s taped) but then why do commentary? There’s also no ring bell so it’s not even an official match.
Test vs. D’Lo Brown
Brown wins an early fist fight on the floor and stomps away in the corner. A release spinebuster gets two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Brown gets two off a belly to back suplex but misses a moonsault. Test makes his comeback and hits the pumphandle slam for two with Brown grabbing the rope. That’s enough for Brown to go outside to chase Stacy, only to run right into the big boot for the pin.
Rating: D. I’m really confused by this and it’s all due to the commentary. Well that and the fact that they actually had Test and Brown of all people come out and wrestle again. Brown specifically mentioned the previous match but the commentary never brought it up once. This must have been a re-shoot of some sort, but you would think they would have gone with this match in the regular show despite it not making the broadcast. The match was similar to the first but with the focus on Stacy instead of the racism angle.
And now for something else not mentioned anywhere, we go to a local mall with Sean O’Haire as Santa Claus telling children they’re greedy. He tells them there’s no Santa either and yells at a bad actress who complains. The truth hurts you see. This makes a bit more sense as the Devil’s Advocate character would debut in January.
JR goes off to get ready and Lawler says he’ll stay in the ring the whole time.
You know how HHH and Steiner are going to face each other tonight? That’s still taking place.
Here’s HHH to call Steiner out after they’ve spent the better part of two hours talking about it. HHH talks down to the fans and explains how awesome he is. He would have fought Steiner last week but he was coming off a grueling match with Shawn Michaels, who of course is the best in-ring performer ever you see. We get the call out and HHH looks a bit stunned when Steiner actually shows up.
Lawler fawns over Steiner’s physique and we get the quick nose-to-nose (which really shows off how huge HHH’s nose is). HHH talks about how they’re going to make a fortune at the Rumble and he’s not giving up a single dollar of that in the first place. However, after some more bickering about how awesome they both are, we get a challenge for some arm wrestling. HHH almost wins but Steiner smiles at him and wins four times in a row. How many weeks until we get this match over with?
Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Lance Storm/William Regal
Bischoff and Morely take over on commentary and JR gets played to the ring by the OU band. Note that they don’t have to win to keep their jobs but rather just compete. Lawler and Regal start things off with Bischoff going into over the top commentary territory. They trade wristlocks before it’s quickly off to Storm. Lance misses an elbow and takes the famed Lawler “dropkick”. JR even gets in a neck snap across the top rope but the heels take over as you might have expected.
The villains take turns with chinlocks but we get some bad old fashioned heel miscommunication to give Lawler a chance. The fist drop gets two and there’s the ref bump. Regal pulls out the knuckles but gets snapmared down so Lawler can hammer away. A low blow from Regal makes JR tag himself in so he can grab the knuckles. The double beatdown is on but here are the Dudleys for 3D on Storm, allowing Ross to knock Regal cold for the pin.
Rating: F. So they built up Regal and Storm as undefeated on Raw for the better part of two months and give the win to JR and King? Eh to be fair I really can’t get that mad about this one as the winning streak stopped meaning a thing after the four way loss at Armageddon so it’s not like this really means anything. The “wrestling” here was nothing of course but JR getting a moment in his hometown was nice for what is likely a once in a lifetime change of pace. Plus this was less than six minutes from bell to bell and you knew there was going to be something screwy to wrap it up.
Overall Rating: D. Far from the worst show they’ve done in a long time though that doesn’t exactly make it good. Yeah there’s a lot of bad stuff but they kept it in short bursts so I really didn’t have the time to get too mad about things. They really need to get to the Rumble build soon as it can add an instant story for almost anyone on the show, which would help a lot since we can’t have a midcard champion for whatever reason. Anyway, not horrible here but it needs a lot of work.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – December 16, 2002: It’s A Bad Sign When They Don’t Fight
Monday Night Raw Date: December 16, 2002
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re past the final pay per view of the year and that means it’s time to get ready for the 2003 Royal Rumble. That also means that the new Raw World Champion HHH needs a new challenger, which means we’re in for a major problem in the next month or two. Words don’t do the upcoming nightmares justice so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Trish Stratus/Test vs. Victoria/Steven Richards
I don’t see the Canadian connection lasting all that long as WWE isn’t likely to have two women working together without fighting for more than a show or two. Also, those Testicle jokes really were supposed to make Test a face? Trish kicks Victoria in the head before the bell (that evil Canadian) but gets suplexed by Richards to change control.
Victoria grabs something like a high angle Texas Cloverleaf but drops the legs back like a DDT to wrench Trish’s back. Stratus gets two off a rollup as Lawler talks about how her puppies don’t have eyes. The hot tag brings in Test to clean house but Richards saves Victoria from the pump handle slam. Richards gets two off a Downward Spiral but Stacy offers a distraction, allowing Test to boot him in the face for the pin.
Rating: D+. Not terrible but I’m really trying to get my head around Test being a face. I mean, it’s better than hearing the Testicle jokes over and over again so I can’t complain too much. We’ll consider this an example of a meaningless match that was fine, albeit nothing that needed to exist.
Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely meet in the back with Bischoff announcing a HHH appreciation night to close the show. Morely has already given Scott Steiner the spot for his official contract signing. Yes, this is really where we’re going. Bischoff isn’t happy and Morely is in charge of fixing things.
Booker is getting some water when Goldie Claus comes in to offer a peek at his sack. It’s a good thing though as Goldust pulls out the Tag Team Titles. Goldust gets serious and thanks Booker for believing in him. Christian and Chris Jericho come up to say their rematch is next week. Goldust gives Christian “new and improved” A** Cream. Goldust: “Now with 35% more a**!”
Christopher Nowinski vs. Maven
The fans are WAY into the Harvard Sucks chant. Chris grabs a rollup for two and chokes in the corner a lot before hitting a seated abdominal stretch. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock as the announcers start arguing about colleges. Maven gets in a dropkick and flapjacks him down for an Oklahoma roll and two. A spinning butterfly slam (the Honor Roll) gives Chris two but Maven blocks a charge. Maven’s middle rope sunset flip is countered into a rollup though and Nowinski grabs the trunks for the pin.
Rating: C. Totally watchable match here but the low level of interest didn’t do it any favors. The problem is these two need to move on from “they were both on Tough Enough” and find stories with someone else. Maybe down in developmental for a few years or so. Still though, pretty easily their best match ever.
Here’s a dancing Shawn Michaels because legends don’t have to sell brutal matches. Last week Ric Flair told him he didn’t have it anymore and needed to tell himself the truth. The truth is the Heartbreak Kid is alive and well. He might not be the World Champion anymore but he definitely stole the show. Shawn went down last night but he went down in a blaze of glory. He feels pretty good tonight and thinks we should make it three out of five. Instead it’s Jericho answering though and we have a new feud.
Jericho thinks we should listen to him because he’s just that much better than Shawn. Chris: “Behold the true sexy boy!” If it was the real Shawn back last night, he would have silenced the critics and, you know, won. That makes it even worse because Shawn is the reason Jericho wanted to come here in the first place. Shawn isn’t the showstopper anymore but the show has stopped. One superkick later and Shawn dances off.
Goldust vs. Christian
Christian goes right after him to start but gets bulldogged for two. An armbar slows things down until Christian comes off the top rope and dives right into something like a Boss Man Slam. A clothesline looks to set up Shattered Dreams but Christian pulls the referee in front and grabs a rollup (plus the ropes) for the cheap pin. I mean, I don’t know how mad I can get at Christian who was just trying to avoid a low blow but that’s what they were going for.
Rating: C+. The time was a problem but points for the energy they had out there. Goldust has hit a career renaissance here, which makes it even more amazing that he’s still going nearly fifteen years later. Considering he had only been around about fourteen years at this point, this Tag Team Title run came at the MIDDLE of his career to date. That’s almost impossible to believe.
Bischoff comes in to see HHH, who is actually reading. The boss tries to let HHH have his big moment now but HHH wants to know what’s going on. When the name Scott Steiner is mentioned, the new champ is really not happy. See, Steiner is a jacked up piece of trash who couldn’t hold HHH’s jock. If Bischoff gives him HHH’s spot, he’ll “pull a Steve Austin” and take the title with him.
Flair tells 3 Minute Warning to follow Batista’s lead.
Morely tells Terri to tell Steiner that he’s looking for him. Actually send him to Morely. No actually just call Morely and let him know. That’s still Val Venis getting this much promo time.
Kane is livid and rants about Flair and 3 Minute Warning. Rob Van Dam gives us a very calm translation of his ravings in an amusing bit. Kane isn’t pleased because he’s being mocked but Van Dam says he just needs to mellow. If you need someone to play half of the odd couple tag team, you do call on Kane.
Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Batista/3 Minute Warning
No Rico in sight. Batista stomps Rob down to start and blasts him with a clothesline before it’s off to Jamal. Since he’s just Jamal, Van Dam scores with a kick to the face and Rolling Thunder gets two. Jamal ignores Batista to tag in Rosey, who eats a kick to the chest. That’s enough for Flair and Batista, who walk out on the Samoans. Kane comes in with the top rope clothesline but misses a running DDT, only to have Rosey sell it anyway. Well they weren’t considered the best team in the world. Van Dam comes back in as everything breaks down, leaving Jamal to get kicked into the chokeslam for the pin.
Rating: D. I do like the idea of protecting Batista like that and the burial of the Samoans continue. Yeah they’re in hot water at the moment and they weren’t great in the first place but when the division is as thin as it already is, do you want to waste a team that could offer a quick challenge for the titles down the road? I mean, I know WWE is going to do it anyway but that doesn’t make it smart.
Steiner arrives and there’s no Morely in sight.
Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm
It’s a brawl to start again with Regal and Storm getting their clocks cleaned. Storm and Bubba get things going with Lance taking him down and grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. The fans want tables but have to settle for hearing about how much JR likes Regal and Storm again. Regal and Storm take turns on Bubba until a kick to William’s face allows the hot tag to D-Von. Storm gets What’s Up and the reverse 3D is good for two on Regal. The referee gets rid of Bubba and Storm, leaving Regal to bring back the Power of the Punch to knock D-Von cold for the pin.
Rating: D+. Just a match here and the winning streak jazz got a bit annoying as it was basically “well they’re undefeated if you forget the pay per view.” Regal and Storm are fine for a team but they have all the heat of a frozen pizza and that’s the last thing the division and/or the show need right now.
Raw Retro is Mankind winning the title in 1999.
Jeff Hardy vs. D’Lo Brown
Yes seriously and it’s a rematch from Heat where Jeff won despite Brown’s shoulder being up. They start fast again with Jeff sending D’Lo outside for the barricade running clothesline. Back in and Brown talks trash, sounding like he’s blaming people like Jeff for….whatever caused him to turn heel. The chinlock is quickly broken so Brown hits a gordbuster for two (even throwing in some free advice: Jeff better recognize). Jeff shrugs it off with a jawbreaker and sends him to the floor for a dive, followed by a quick Swanton for the pin. Ignore D’Lo’s foot being on the ropes.
Rating: D. I’ve always liked Brown (How can you not?) but he’s one of the least interesting heel turns I can remember in a long time. The problem here is the same as it’s been for years in wrestling: you can’t just bring someone out of mothballs after he’s spent years meaning nothing. It didn’t work back then and it doesn’t now.
Steiner is warming up when Flair comes in to say HHH is the main event. Scott disagrees.
Post break the referee apologizes to Brown, who turns it into a race issue.
Stacy has gotten Test a commercial shoot for a spray on deodorant….that you spray on your abs for some reason. It smells good there so Test knows it’ll smell good on his Testicles. They leave and Raven of all people is shown watching.
Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.
Before the match Jericho yells about being treated unfairly so JR sends us to a commercial. Jericho jumps him before the bell to continue tonight’s trend. Booker fights back but Chris shoves the referee into the ropes for a crotching. A side kick cuts Jericho off for a few seconds, only to have Chris snapmare him into a chinlock.
Booker fights up but gets bulldogged right back down as JR explains the concept of calling someone your “dawg” (which he spells without the a) to Lawler. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner is countered into a cradle for two. The Book End gets the same and we hit the Spinarooni, only to have Christian come in for the DQ. I mean, there’s no bell because we probably need to worry about the MAIN EVENT SLOT but whatever. JR: “Christian has been disqualified.”
Rating: C. Good match from these two as you would expect but there’s only so much you can do when you’re just waiting around for the end of the match. This helped set up next week’s rematch and I’m glad they didn’t have both champs do jobs a night after FINALLY winning the titles.
Booker and Goldust clean house.
Morely tries to convince Steiner to do this next week because Florida doesn’t deserve this. Oh and tonight is for HHH. Scott agrees to Morely’s face but then, to no one in particular, says that HHH will never forget this.
Here are Bischoff and Morely for the closing segment. HHH and Flair come out and we hit the video tribute, set to the same song as his highlight reel from Wrestlemania XVIII. HHH talks about how awesome he is and lists off some great names he’s beaten, making sure to take credit for running off the Rock.
Cue Steiner with his contract that he won’t sign without a World Title shot. HHH talks about how things worked “where Steiner used to work” (there’s your insider reference) but here, you have to beat someone. Steiner says he has big muscles and HHH has no testicles (not to be confused with Testicles). HHH agrees to give him a title shot for no apparent reason and then threatens to eat Steiner.
Scott signs the contract and Bischoff makes the match for the Royal Rumble. This angers everyone involved for some reason (When did HHH expect the match to take place?) but Steiner would rather talk about arm size. Steiner wants the fight tonight and HHH gives the expected response. Scott hits the catchphrase to FINALLY end this after fifteen plus minutes.
Overall Rating: D+. There were some good parts to the show but sweet chickenwings with barbecued mustard the big interview wasn’t one of them. At least have Steiner suplex HHH or something instead of just having them talk to each other. Steiner has gotten physical before but he can’t do so here too?
Anyway, the rest of the show was indeed better as they’ve set up something for next week’s show and they built it up well here. Doing something with the tag division is nice but EVERYTHING feels a mile below the main event, which isn’t any good in the first place. They need a better challenger for HHH (and a better champion but we’ll deal with that later) as the top story isn’t interesting and it’s going to get even worse when they finally have a match.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – November 18, 2002: I’d Rather Talk About Anthology
Monday Night Raw Date: November 18, 2002
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re past Survivor Series and that means Shawn Michaels gets to keep HHH’s World Title warm for the next few weeks. That’s really all that matters from the Raw side as the show was almost all about the Elimination Chamber, which makes sense for the most part. We’re less than four weeks away from the next pay per view so let’s get to it.
Eric Bischoff is in the parking lot waiting on someone unnamed but gets Ric Flair instead. There’s no HHH but Bischoff has him in a #1 contenders match tonight so he better be here soon. Flair gets in Bischoff’s face, talking about how HHH had a crushed trachea last night but kept fighting anyway. Ric thinks Bischoff only cares about the show so Eric gives him a match against Kane. That doesn’t seem to bother Ric because he’ll show Kane how it used to be done.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Shawn to get things going. After declaring himself the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, he talks about not being able to believe this is real. Last night he accomplished his goal of becoming the NEW World Heavyweight Champion but now he’s not sure what to do. Does he want to be someone who keeps going way after his prime or be someone who knows when to hang it up?
Walking away now would be the smart, logical thing but he’s never been the most logical guy. He’d love to come out here and see what he can do against all that young talent in the back so let’s just see what this old, beat up body has left in it. Cue Rob Van Dam to talk about what an inspiration Shawn was when Rob was growing up. If Shawn wants to meet some new faces, how about his first title defense is against Rob Van Dam? Shawn sounds ready to accept but here’s Bischoff to cut them off.
If Van Dam wants to be the #1 contender, he can win a triple threat match also involving Booker T. and Chris Jericho for a shot at the title next week. That sounds fine but Shawn has a bone to pick with Eric. He’s not going to represent a show that features necrophilia because it offends him as a wrestling fan. That’s about it on that subject so Shawn gets in one more shot at HHH before wrapping things up.
We’re coming up on the 10th anniversary of Monday Night Raw so here’s a look at the first episode.
3 Minute Warning/Rico vs. Dudley Boyz
D-Von is back on the team, thank goodness. Bubba hammers on Rico to start but a little heel distraction lets Jamal deck Bubba from behind. That’s not enough for Rico to hit a (great looking) moonsault though and Bubba drops him with a clothesline. D-Von comes in to almost no reaction and starts to clean house with Rosey being sent outside. What’s Up hits Rico low but Jamal actually hits a dropkick. Spike gets kicked to the floor, leaving Rico to take 3D for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was basically “hey the Dudleys are back” and there’s nothing wrong with that. The team really needed to be put back together after the pretty horrible face runs (though I’ll miss Reverend D-Von’s music) so let them go back to something you know will work. It’s not like the tag division is overflowing with talent or anything.
Stacy makes testicle jokes and is going to unveil Test’s new shirt tonight.
HHH is on the way.
Recap of the Chamber.
Scott Steiner, who seems to be the person Bischoff was waiting for earlier, arrives to Bischoff’s delight. Steiner still hasn’t signed yet.
Here’s Stacy with a bunch of lame testicles shirts, which are just puns in white text on a black shirt. She puts them in a t-shirt gun and launches some into the crowd until Steven Richards comes out to interrupt. He complains about this being stupid and takes a shirt to the groin. Crazy Victoria comes out and bites Victoria’s nails off before leaving with Steven.
Post break Stacy freaks out so Eric gives her a title match against Victoria.
Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Tommy Dreamer/Jeff Hardy
The brawl starts in the aisle for no apparent reason and it’s the evil foreigners taking over on Dreamer. Jeff dives off the apron to take Regal down but William kicks Dreamer in the head to give Lance the pin.
Dreamer gets beaten down post match with Storm doing Raven’s drop toehold onto a chair.
We look back at Steiner beating up Matt Hardy and Christopher Nowinski at Survivor Series.
Here’s Steiner for presumably his big signing announcement. Steiner talks about only caring for his freaks and his peaks before saying he’s been watching both shows a lot lately. People have been talking about being the best of all time but the best of all time is standing right here. Cue Chris Jericho to say he’s the King of the World so Steiner needs to shush. If you want to talk bodies, look at this gorgeous piece of meat. A brawl is teased but Jericho declines because he has a #1 contenders match later. Scott says he’ll stick around. Having Steiner not wrestle is probably the best for everyone at the moment.
Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Stacy Keibler
Stacy is challenging. Victoria chokes her a lot, Stacy does her horrible looking leg based offense and the Widow’s Peak retains the title in just over a minute.
Victoria stays on her but Trish Stratus comes out for the save. Richards comes out and lays Trish out.
Hurricane talks about his song to promote the Anthology CD set. I loved that thing.
Maven is at the World.
Al Snow vs. Christopher Nowinski
Nowinski is in a suit with a backpack and this is a “School of Hard Knocks” match because WE DON’T DO HARDCORE ANYMORE. Snow hits him with a small blackboard and knocks Chris into the crowd. That means it’s time for the bowling ball but Nowinski gets in a spinebuster before anything can be done. More weapons, including a freaking skeleton, are brought in with Chris talking to the skull. Snow hits him in the ribs with a femur before switching over to a chair. We get the bowling ball to the crotch spot as Chris is bleeding from the mouth. The moonsault only hits a pile of chairs though and Chris gets the easy pin.
Rating: F. It’s not funny, it’s nothing we haven’t seen a hundred times before, Nowinski isn’t getting anywhere out of this and the whole thing is just a major waste of time. Just do the Hardcore Title again if it’s that important to you. Either that or put Nowinski in a tag team or something else where he’s not on his own because this is a bunch of stupid stuff week after week.
Val Venis doesn’t want to be known by that name anymore and now works for Bischoff.
Kane vs. Ric Flair
Ric is in a suit but says he’s not going to fight. Cue Batista to lay Kane out instead.
Jericho can’t get Christian to help him tonight.
Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane
The winner gets Shawn next week. Before the match, Booker isn’t cool with not being mentioned as a potential title contender. JR says that the research staff says Shawn hasn’t wrestled on Raw since October 1997. The internet research staff (and a decent knowledge of Raw) says WWE needs a new research staff. Jericho gets double teamed to start but, as usual, the double teamers argue over who gets to go for the cover.
Rob’s standing moonsault gets two as the announcers keep bringing up the fact that there are no disqualifications. Jericho hits Booker in the head with the Tag Team Title for two but Rob gives him the monkey flip out of the corner. Van Dam is sent outside so Booker pops back up for some chops and a Walls of Jericho on Chris. In case you didn’t get the idea, Van Dam makes the save and gives Booker an ax kick, only to have Jericho add a Five Star (good one too) on Rob.
Booker kicks Jericho down but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam. The snap spinebuster gets two on Jericho, only to have Christian come out and chair Booker in the back. Jericho grabs the Walls but here’s Steiner for the save. The beatdown ensues and Rob adds the Five Star for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: B-. Good match here, or at least it was until we had to get two people interfering. This felt like three guys trying to get their heat back, which they certainly have to do after everything has been shifted to HHH vs. Shawn. It’s also nice to see a good match get some time, though it might be that the match was good because it got time. Sometimes it’s hard to tell which it actually is.
Shawn comes out to shake Rob’s hand to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Bad show with some good highlights, which means it’s a big upgrade over most of what we see from Raw anymore. The main difference is the lack of HHH (who they said was coming here tonight and was then never mentioned again), who really does drag down almost everything that happens on this show. While Shawn doesn’t even wrestle, it already feels like a breath of fresh air, which is one of the best things that could have happened to the show at the moment.
Now, that being said, Stacy was a major focal point on this show and that’s not a good thing. Other than the World Title situation, Stacy being destroyed by crazy Victoria was the biggest thing on this show. The lack of a midcard title is really hurting this show as there’s the World Title, the meaningless Tag Team Titles (because there are all of three teams on the roster) and then it’s a bunch of nothing stories that are there to give people something to do without putting much effort into them.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2003: It Was the Best of Matches, It Was the Worst of Matches
Royal Rumble 2003 Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
To say a lot has changed in the last year is a huge understatement. We have the Brand Split now and there are two world titles. That brings us to the part of this show that is most remembered: the world title matches. We have HHH defending the Raw Title in one of the worst matches ever, followed by Angle defending the Smackdown Title in one of the best matches ever. Also Brock Lesnar is here and has taken Smackdown by storm. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about what you would expect it to be: thirty men wanting to go to Wrestlemania.
Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar
The loser is out of the Rumble. Big Show has Heyman with him, which I’m sure makes him the best wrestler EVER right? Show won the title from Lesnar at Survivor Series after Heyman turned on Brock in one of those matches where they were backed into a corner out of their own stupidity. Show shoves him around to start so Brock snaps off a belly to belly suplex to fire up the crowd.
There’s a second suplex and Show is in trouble early. Lesnar loads up a third but Show grabs him by the throat and shoves him to the floor. Show throws Lesnar around the ring which looks awesome when you consider Brock is a massive dude. Lesnar avoids a charge in the corner and hits a release German suplex for two.
A big boot slows Brock down and a side slam looks to set up the chokeslam. Brock kind of rolls through it into a two count, followed by another belly to belly. Heyman gets dragged in but Show saves him from an F5. The chokeslam gets two as Heyman is losing his mind. Show gets rammed into Heyman and the F5 sends Brock to the Rumble.
Rating: C+. As intricate as modern wrestling has become, there’s something to be said about having two big guys get out there and throw each other around for five minutes. The power displays here made the fans gasp which is the right idea. At the end of the day, wrestling is a spectacle and having larger than life characters doing larger than life things is a surefire idea. This wasn’t so much good as it was fun, which is the right choice for an opener.
Jericho says he’ll win the Rumble.
Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm
Regal and Storm are defending and Regal is STILL doing the brass knuckles thing. Storm and Ray get things going with Lance working on the arm, only to get powered down with ease. Bubba hits one of his LOUD chops in the corner and takes Storm down with a kind of chokebomb. In something I’ve never seen him do otherwise, Bubba hooks a standing Figure Four. Actually I can’t think of anyone who has ever used that.
Off to D-Von for a dropkick (what’s gotten into the Dudleys tonight?) and here’s Regal to get slammed down immediately. The champs double team D-Von down and we get into the standard tag team formula. Storm takes D-Von to the mat and it’s off to Regal for a front facelock. Lance comes back in with a cravate into a sleeper as this continues to meander along.
D-Von rolls Storm away and makes the tag to Bubba who speeds things up. The guy has emotion if nothing else. A big running splash in the corner crushes both champions and a side slam gets two on Storm. The American hits a German on the Canadian for two, followed by a spear to the Englishman. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Lance and Regal takes What’s Up. A double flapjack (stupid fans: “3D!”) gets two on Storm and here’s Chief of Staff Sean Morely. Regal finds the brass knuckles but walks into the 3D. D-Von hits Storm with the knuckles for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D. This didn’t work for me. It felt like a Raw match that was trying to be a PPV match but never got near the hump they were trying to get over. The ending was stupid on top of that, as they had Regal beaten with the 3D, so why use the knuckles? Also it didn’t help that Bubba single handedly beat up the tag champions for about two minutes straight. Bad match.
Lawler on that match: “I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” What is WITH the announcers and their similies/metaphors in this company?
Nathan Jones is coming. Oh geez.
We recap the Torrie vs. Dawn feud. This is one of those stories where you look at it in awe and wonder what they were thinking. Dawn Marie (a gorgeous Diva) fell in love with and married Torrie’s fifty something year old dad Al Wilson, then screwed him to death (literally) on their honeymoon. There was some lesbianism (as in kissing on screen and unfilmed other stuff) involved which was there to tease the audience and wasn’t bad at all. This is supposed to be a stepmother vs. stepdaughter match. Again, I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.
Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson
Dawn comes to the ring in a veil because she’s in mourning. Torrie gets blasted in the face to start before spearing Dawn down and things get sloppy. Marie tries an armbar because we need some wrestling in this I guess. Torrie gets beaten on for a bit until they collide and hit the mat. Dawn hits a springboard spinning clothesline for no cover, giving us the highlight of the match. Torrie hits a neckbreaker out of nowhere for the win.
Rating: D-. Anything with these two in those outfits can’t be considered a failure, but at the end of the day, there is no real defending this match in the slightest. It was HORRIBLE and the story was borderline insulting to my intelligence, but the girls looked good and I guess that was the whole point. Why not just have a regular match if you want to is beyond me, but it’s 2003 so what do you expect?
Stephanie seems to hit on some young guy in the back when Eric comes up to trade some weak trash talk. They’re both GM’s at this point. Stephanie has a bombshell for Smackdown which would wind up being Hogan. They argue over money or blood being more important and nothing goes anywhere. That young guy by the way? Randy Orton.
House show ads, including one for 7pm on a Monday night.
Sean O’Haire as the Devil’s Advocate promo. Sweet goodness this could have been HUGE.
Nathan Jones is STILL coming. Seriously did we need that twice in 30 minutes?
We recap HHH vs. Scott Steiner as I begin to take deep breaths. HHH was giving a promo about how awesome he was when Steiner interrupted and demanded a title shot. This led to a series of contests like pushups and bench presses which went nowhere. Note that Steiner hadn’t actually had a match in WWE up to this point. I wonder why.
Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner
HHH has red trunks on here for some reason. He mixed them up every now and then and rarely did the other colors work. Stick with basic black Game. Hebner brings them to the middle for instructions which is ultra rare stuff. Steiner wins an early slugout and pounds on the champion in the corner. A gorilla press sends HHH to the floor and Steiner pounds away with those weird looking overhand punches of his.
Steiner suplexes him back in for two and works on the back some more. An elbow to the face puts HHH down and there’s an appropriate Boston Crab. HHH powers out of it and hits the facebuster but Steiner no sells it. There’s a bear hug which is quickly broken but Steiner snaps off an overhead belly to belly (1) for two. Flair saves HHH from being put in the Steiner Recliner and Steiner charges into a boot in the corner to finally change the momentum.
We head to the floor again where Scott goes into the steps. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this so far but they’ve still got time to crank it up a bit. Flair chokes away with his jacket and HHH hits his second neckbreaker in about 30 seconds for two. Since we didn’t allido it properly the first time, Flair chokes away even more. A Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the buckle. Steiner looks like he’s going through labor.
An overhead suplex (2) puts HHH down and I kid you not: Steiner FALLS DOWN due to exhaustion. He’s clearly sucking wind and HHH didn’t touch him at all. Speaking of HHH, he counters a tombstone attempt into a….I think it was supposed to be the third neckbreaker in about 90 seconds but Steiner took it wrong, causing it to look like a cutter where he fell backwards instead of forwards. That gets two and the fans are starting to boo.
HHH is loudly calling spots to try to salvage this before he hits a vertical suplex. For no apparent reason he goes up and jumps into a belly to belly (3). Steiner can barely punch so he settles for some clotheslines. There’s an overhead belly to belly (4) and an overhead belly to belly (5) and an overhead belly to belly (6). The fans are openly booing Steiner now. His response? To hold HHH’s hair while HHH rams his own head into the buckles (seriously, Steiner clearly isn’t even pushing) and to hit a spinning belly to belly (7) for two and even more booing.
Steiner tries a butterfly powerbomb and literally falls backwards as he does it, causing HHH to land on Steiner’s knees. The fans groan at the sight of this so HHH goes up top to get superplexed down. He’s handing these spots to Steiner. THANKFULLY HHH tries to walk out but Steiner won’t have it, because WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING. Steiner blasts HHH with the belt to bust him open to try to get the fans to care but the match is long past salvageable at this point.
Back in and Steiner hits ANOTHER belly to belly (8), causing the fans to get MAD. They’re not annoyed, they’re not wanting a new champion, they want Steiner to get out of their ring now. HHH tries to get counted out but Steiner goes after him AGAIN. Back in and Steiner does the pushups to tick off the fans even more as Flair is BEGGING the referee to stop the match.
Now HHH throws the referee to the floor but HEBNER WON’T STOP IT. I mean he pulls his arm up to ring the bell but stops and says keep it going. Steiner hits the NINTH belly to belly suplex (9) of the match for two so HHH hits him low and grabs a fast rollup for two. HHH finally gives up and hits Steiner with the sledgehammer for the DQ.
Rating: H. As in HHH, who I feel sorry for here. Now everyone knows I’m no fan of the guy in 2003, but he was in a HORRIBLE situation here. HHH was trying to keep this a coherent match, but Steiner was beyond worthless here, causing the match to sink to levels far below what any other main event “talent” would be capable of. After about seven minutes (out of eighteen), Steiner stopped doing anything resembling trying to have a match and was just doing suplexes.
Remember that back stuff he did at the beginning? Completely forgotten. Did you see him try his finisher? Not even once. He somehow managed a belly to belly suplex every two minutes, despite being on defense for a good third of the match. This was absolutely horrible and quite possibly the worst world title match I can EVER remember, which is covering a lot of ground.
Post match, Steiner beats up HHH and Flair with the hammer, which gets SYMPATHY from the fans. HHH is getting SYMPATHY from a crowd. Think about that for a minute. And what’s worse: THEY HAD A REMATCH! Oh and there’s the Steiner Recliner to absolutely nothing positive from the crowd at all. Bischoff has to come get Steiner off HHH.
We cut to Cole and Tazz and even MICHAEL FREAKING COLE has a look on his face as if to say “WOW that was an abomination.”
We recap Benoit vs. Angle. Angle won the title from Big Show at Armageddon thanks to Lesnar before revealing that he hired Paul Heyman to be his new manager. Heyman said anyone could get a shot other than Brock Lesnar and brought in Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) to protect Kurt during a knee injury. Benoit won a title shot over Big Show to set this up.
Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
Team Angle is immediately ejected to make sure it’s one on one. Benoit grabs a headlock to start before trying the Sharpshooter to send Angle to the floor. Back in and Angle goes for the ankle but gets dropkicked away. Benoit grabs a kind up reverse Figure Four but Angle grabs the rope. This is all holds/counter holds so far. Benoit gets sent shoulder first into the post followed by an Angle suplex for two.
They chop it out with Benoit taking over and hitting a reverse clothesline to take Angle down. Angle drops Benoit across the top rope but gets guillotined down by the Canadian. They head to the apron with Benoit DDTing him down onto the side of the ring. The champion has a busted nose now. Back in and the Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls out of the Angle Slam. There’s the Sharpshooter to Angle who eventually gets to a rope. A belly to back suplex gets two for Chris but Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly (just one so far).
Back to the floor where Benoit gets dropped onto the barricade to further mess with his head. Off to a rear naked choke back inside so Kurt can overly loudly call some spots. Angle catches Benoit in another belly to belly followed by a belly to back for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit until a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benoit rolls some Germans but so does Angle. And people wonder why their necks were held together by tape.
Benoit gets the final German but Angle runs the ropes to hit the belly to belly off the top to put both guys down. That gets two but the Angle Slam is countered into the Crossface. Angle gets the rope, so Benoit shifts to an ankle lock. Angle reverses into one of his own and now Benoit is in trouble. Benoit goes to kick off but instead grabs another Crossface. Kurt counters into a rollup but Benoit put the Crossface on the other (right) arm this time. Angle stands up and hits the Angle Slam but can’t immediately cover.
Angle takes the straps down but another German attempt is countered into a rollup for two. They trade HARD Germans until Benoit hooks a release German to put both guys down. Before anyone asks, the difference between this and the previous match with the suplexes is how hard these are. Steiner looked like he was at a dance recital but here they look like they’re trying to kill one another. Not to mention there’s OTHER STUFF in between the suplexes.
Benoit hits the longest diving headbutt you’ll EVER see, but he can’t cover because of his head getting jarred like that. Angle counters the Crossface into a reverse powerbomb onto the buckle. The Angle Slam gets a VERY close two as the crowd is losing their minds. Back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock. Benoit rolls over but can’t break the hold. He kicks Kurt off but Angle goes right back to the hold. Benoit keeps trying to kick him off but Angle hooks the grapevine and Benoit has to tap.
Rating: A+. That’s your match of the year right there people. Oh wait according to Meltzer there was some match in Japan that no one but him ever saw and that has to be better than this right? Anyway, these two DESTROYED each other with some absolutely amazing counters and awesome sequences out there while suplexing the tar out of each other. This both guy’s best match ever, and that’s saying A LOT.
Benoit gets a standing ovation, showing that he was ready to be world champion. Naturally that’s why he had to wait fifteen months to get the title, because the world was BEGGING for another Steiner match, the Nash feud with HHH, and the Goldberg run of doom. Ok Goldberg I can live with but the other two? Screw that.
Van Dam and Kane say they’ll knock each other out to win the Rumble.
Royal Rumble
The intervals are two minutes if you listen to Fink and 90 seconds if you listen to JR. There are fifteen Raw guys and fifteen Smackdown guys this year which would be the norm for a few years to come. Shawn gets #1 and Jericho gets #2, but it’s Christian playing the role of Jericho at the entrance, allowing Jericho to sneak in from behind and jump Shawn. Jericho hits Shawn low and starts the beat down before getting a chair to crack Shawn open.
Chris Nowitski is #3 and he’s perfectly fine with letting Jericho maul Shawn. Jericho easily dumps Shawn, setting up their classic at Wrestlemania. Nowitski isn’t in the ring yet. Rey Mysterio (still pretty new here) is #4 as things speed up a lot. A springboard dropkick and rana take Jericho down but Nowitski gets in as well….or not as he slid back out. Rey escapes a gorilla press and dropkicks Jericho into the ropes, only to get jumped by Nowitski.
Edge is #5 for a big pop. He would have been world champion by summer if he hadn’t hurt his neck. Jericho is sent into the post and Nowitski is knocked down, allowing the two good guys to pound away on each other while both miss finishers. A springboard rana by Rey is countered into a sitout powerbomb and Christian is #6. He hugs his brother but Edge spears him down out of common sense. Nowitski tries to dump Edge and Rey but gets caught by a “double” dropkick (read as Mysterio hit him but Edge completely missed and landed on Chris after he was already down).
The Bronco Buster hits Nowitski and Chavo is #7. He immediately takes Rey down but gets caught in a 619. Rey drops the dime on Chavo and hits a 619 on Christian. He tries a springboard rana on Christian but lands on Nowitski and takes him to the floor in the process. Jericho puts Mysterio out, leaving us with Jericho, Edge, Christian and Chavo at the moment. You can add Tajiri at #8 to that list.
Christian gets the tar kicked out of him and Chavo gets put in a spinning backbreaker. Not bad for the first twenty seconds for Tajiri. Bill DeMott is #9 and no one cares. At this point, he had been a Tough Enough trainer and his gimmick was that the rookies had ticked him off so much that he was basically a sociopath. I’ve heard of worse. Tommy Dreamer is #10 and he brings some toys with him.
There are too many people in the ring at the moment. Edge gets in some kendo stick shots on DeMott for an elimination. Christian and Jericho hit Dreamer with trashcan lids in a modified Conchairto for another elimination. Tajiri elbows both guys down but tries the Tarantula on Jericho and gets dumped as a result. B2, as in Bull Buchanan as Cena’s ex-lackey, is #11. Edge knocks out Chavo as the ring is thinning out nicely.
Jericho gets sent over the top but skins the cat and pulls out Edge and Christian in the process. Jericho is busted open but he’s left all alone in the ring. RVD is #12 and man alive do the fans love him. They slug it out for a bit with Van Dam hitting a slingshot to send Jericho to the apron but not out. Matt Hardy (who strongly dislikes mustard) is #13. The heels (as in those not named RVD) double team the good guy (as in those named RVD) but Jericho is too weak to do much and Matt kind of sucks so Van Dam takes them down.
There’s a Five Star to Jericho and Eddie is #14. He pounds away on Van Dam as well and hits a Frog Splash of his own, only to walk into a Twist of Fate from Matt. Jeff Hardy is #15 and Matt tries an alliance, only to get kicked in the gut. Jeff throws Matt to the apron but Matt’s MF’er Shannon Moore prevents the elimination. There’s the Twist of Fate to Matt but Shannon covers up Matt from the Swanton. Jeff just dives on both of them and Rosey of 3 Minute Warning is #16.
Absolutely nothing of note happens here so Test with Stacy is #17. He cleans house until John Cena is #18 with a rap for us. He manages to rhyme “Explain it to ya” with Wrestlemania so I’m impressed. He spends forever rapping until Van Dam throws him inside. The ring is way too full again. After Cena is in the ring for about eight seconds, Charlie Haas is #19. Van Dam and Jeff slug it out until Jeff goes up top like an IDIOT and gets shoved out. He would burn out and leave the company in about three months anyway.
Eddie walks the buckles and hits a rana on Jericho as Rikishi is #20, giving us Jericho, Van Dam, Matt, Eddie, Rosey, Test, Cena, Haas and Rikishi. Again that’s too many people. Rosey and Rikishi square off but nothing happens. Instead they team up and beat up Matt and Shannon because they can, until Rosey clotheslines the heck out of Rikishi. Jamal of 3 Minute Warning (you know him better as Umaga) is #21.
Rikishi superkicks Jamal down almost immediately and there’s a Stinkface for him. Kane is #22 and I think we have eleven people in there at the moment. He cleans as much house as you can clean with that many people in there before FINALLY putting someone out in the form of Rosey. Jericho gets thrown to the apron but hangs on. Shelton Benjamin is #23 and Team Angle starts taking over. Booker T is #24 and we DESPERATELY need someone to clear some guys out.
Booker immediately kicks Kane down and fires up a Spinarooni to a BIG pop. Eddie gets backdropped out and Booker pounds on Rikishi. A-Train (Albert/Tensai) is #25 and the hometown boy gets to beat up a lot of people in a hurry. Shawn Michaels runs in with a bandage on his head and goes after Jericho, causing Test to dump Jericho out. See, that way it’s legal.
Maven from Tough Enough (finally with actual trunks) is #26. He goes right for Kane like an idiot and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Goldust is #27 and he barely makes it 45 seconds before Haas and Benjamin put him out. Booker goes off on Haas in the corner but gets thrown out by Team Angle as well. He would get the world title shot at HHH as a consolation prize.
Big Dave Batista is #28 and you can hear the fans react to him. The first guy he hits? John Cena. It’s always cool to see the future in there like that. Test takes him down with a full nelson slam but Batista low bridges him for the elimination. Batista takes down Rikishi with a spinebuster before clotheslining him out. At least the ring is clearing out a bit. Brock Lesnar is #29 and is the odds on favorite to win this thing.
Brock immediately eliminates Team Angle by himself before F5ing Matt on top of them. A-Train hits a bicycle kick to take Batista down as Undertaker is #30 to a big ovation. The final grouping: Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Train, Maven, Batista, Lesnar and Undertaker. Drop Maven and A-Train and that’s a pretty stacked field. To the shock of no one paying attention, Taker is returning here. There’s a 9 hour DVD of matches and moments where Undertaker returns easily.
Taker punches everyone and dumps Cena and Jamal with ease. Maven dropkicks Taker in the back and celebrates, earning himself a chokeslam. The elimination is academic. A-Train hits the chokebomb on Taker to finally slow him down as Kane chokeslams Lesnar. Kane and Van Dam, the Raw tag champions, start teaming up to beat people up but A-Train takes them both down. Van Dam saves Kane from a backbreaker and the champs double clothesline Albert out.
Kane tells Van Dam to let him pick Van Dam up and drop him on Batista, but Kane turns (not heel) on Van Dam to throw RVD out. We’re down to Lesnar, Undertaker, Kane and Batista which is awesome by today’s standards. Taker and Lesnar have a showdown but the other two guys break it up. Taker pounds away on Batista in a preview of the feud of the year in 2007.
A big spinebuster puts Taker down and Lesnar fights off the two Raw (Batista/Kane) guys. There’s an F5 for Kane and NOW we get Taker vs. Brock. They slug it out and after Taker says big boot, he hits a big boot to take Brock’s head off. The F5 is escaped but there’s a tombstone for Brock. A clothesline casually puts Batista out to get us down to three. Taker teases an alliance with Kane but dumps him as well. He has to knock away an invading Batista and Brock dumps Undertaker to go to Wrestlemania.
Rating: B-. Good but definitely not great Rumble here. You could see the next generation in the blocks but the problem is they were just that: the NEXT generation. Taker was the only possible winner here other than Brock and that’s a recipe for a bad Rumble. You need more than one candidate for the Rumble and as soon as Lesnar’s music hit, it was clear who was winning this.
Taker says go win the title but he wants the first shot. Brock says ok to end the show. Did we need that?
Overall Rating: C-. The problem with this show is that the excellent match on the card is brought down by the HORRENDOUS match just before it. The Rumble is good but it isn’t good enough to save an otherwise bad card. The show isn’t terrible, but it’s a sign of things to come for this year, especially with HHH on the Raw side. Not much to see here other than Benoit vs. Angle of course. HHH vs. Steiner is only worth seeing if you want to see a trainwreck.
Ratings Comparison
Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar
Original: D
Redo: C+
Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm
Original: C
Redo: D
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
Original: DD
Redo: D-
Scott Steiner vs. HHH
Original: G-
Redo: H (As in HHH)
Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
Original: A+
Redo: A+
Royal Rumble
Original: B
Redo: B-
Overall Rating
Original: B-
Redo: C-
I’m not sure what I was thinking the first time. The show just isn’t that good.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2002: It’s Still Annoying
Survivor Series 2002 Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Aside from Lesnar, a lot of the roster for this show is the same. However, there are several wrestlers that have debuted for the company but aren’t on the show tonight. Over the summer, Batista, Randy Orton and John Cena all debuted and most of them made a strong impact upon arriving. We’ll be hearing more from them in the future but it’s not their time yet. Let’s get to it.
The intro video is almost all about the Chamber.
Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico
This is an elimination tables match and it’s Bubba and Spike Dudley instead of D-Von due to the Brand Split. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. 3 Minute Warning (Jamal and Rosey) are two very large Samoans and Rico is their athletic stylist. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Jamal and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.
What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.
Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.
Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Well of course there is. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.
Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder and shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.
Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with for a change. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope hurricanrana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.
It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal as people really didn’t jump from roster to roster. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.
Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.
Stacy is at the World (WWF New York) looking great. She introduces Saliva who is doing a mini-concert at the club. They perform Always here to eat up a few minutes and we get a video about the remaining matches.
RVD is stretching before the Chamber.
Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman
Jamie (white trash from a trailer park) is defending and has Nidia (Tough Enough winner) with him. Kidman (talented cruiserweight from WCW) grabs two very fast rollups for two each and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”
Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman loads up a belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead. Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.
Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits an elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.
Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.
Angle and Benoit are in the back and Angle is incensed that Kidman could win a title. If he can win, then so can they, as long as Benoit stays out of the captain’s way. Benoit gets in his face but Angle says they should be friends to the end. Benoit offers a handshake but Angle says no way. Angle: “I don’t shake hands! Tag team partners hug!”
Victoria (new Diva) is still psycho here and looking in a mirror. Then she thinks it’s Trish and goes nuts.
We recap Trish vs. Victoria. Victoria is batty and claims that it’s because she and Trish used to work together as fitness models, but Trish slept her way to the top. Tonight it’s about revenge in a hardcore match.
Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus
Hardcore rules here and Trish is defending in a rematch after she beat Victoria last month. Victoria immediately chokes her with Trish’s coat before getting a broom out of one of the trashcans on each post. Trish jumps the broom but Victoria takes her down almost immediately. Victoria chokes her with the broom in the corner but gets flipped to the mat.
Now Trish finds a trashcan lid but Victoria knocks the lid into her head with the broom. We head to the floor and Trish gets whipped HARD into the trashcan. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two. The challenger puts a trashcan in between the top and middle rope but Trish grabs her legs and slingshots Victoria’s head into the can. Trish sets up an ironing board in the corner and whips Victoria into it for two.
It’s kendo stick time with Victoria taking a beating. She gets a boot up in the corner though and BLASTS Trish with a trashcan lid. Victoria has a bloody nose and sits on the middle rope, allowing Trish to try a hurricanrana out of the corner. Victoria counters into a kind of Boston Crab position, but Trish does a big situp and hits Victoria in the head with a can lid.
That only stuns her though so Trish BLASTS her in the head with a trashcan lid again to knock Victoria off the ropes and out to the floor. Victoria gets a mirror from under the ring but Trish superkicks her down. Chick Kick gets two for Trish and a bulldog gets the same. Victoria rolls to the floor and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blast Trish in the face. A followup suplex of all things is enough to give Victoria the pin and the title.
Rating: B. This was AWESOME with both chicks beating the tar out of each other. The story of the match worked really well too with Trish trying to wrestle her way out of trouble against a monster that wanted to hurt her no matter what. This worked really well and is one of the most intense Divas matches you’ll ever see.
Booker is getting ready.
Bischoff brags about the Chamber for a bit. Big Show comes up and says he’ll show Eric why trading him to Smackdown was a bad idea.
Heyman is worried that Brock can’t beat Big Show. Lesnar has legitimately injured ribs due to Show hurting him at a house show.
We recap Show vs. Lesnar. Lesnar beat Undertaker in the Cell last month, so Show beat up Undertaker to make himself the next challenger. Even Heyman says Brock can’t beat him.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar
Lesnar is defending here and is mostly a face now. It’s on in a hurry as the fans are behind Lesnar. Show gets in a shot to the ribs in the corner and launches Brock across the ring. Brock is all like BRING IT ON and grabs a double leg to take Show down. They head to the floor and Brock gets rammed into the post. Back in and Brock pounds away before hitting something like a belly to back suplex. Show misses a charge and Brock “hits” a German, which means Show lands on Brock’s head. Brock tries an F5 but Show knees him in the ribs.
The referee gets bumped and Brock THROWS Big Show down with an overhead belly to belly. Heyman tosses in a chair and Brock cracks Show over the head with it. There’s the F5 and a new referee but Heyman pulls the referee out of the ring. This makes no sense and I’ll get to why in a second. Lesnar figures out what’s going on and gives chase, but charges right into a pair of chair shots to the ribs. Show chokeslams Brock onto the chair for the pin and the title. That’s Brock’s first ever loss.
Rating: D+. Most of that is for Lesnar’s INSANE power. Here’s why this match ticks me off: Lesnar had to get the title taken off of him because of injury. That’s fine. So they pick BIG SHOW to take it from him? This is the same idea as Nash beating Goldberg: you have an unstoppable monster and you take the title off of him for the sake of this veteran? You have Angle, Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Edge on the Smackdown roster and you pick BIG SHOW? Now to be fair Angle got the title in a month, but why not just cut out the middle man and make a new star?
As for why Heyman’s turn makes no sense, the whole idea of the match was that Heyman didn’t think Lesnar could suplex, F5 or beat Big Show. He did the first two things and had Show beat until Heyman turned. Heyman is a lot of things, but he’s always been someone that knows what kind of a monster he’s got and sticks with them to the end. This is out of character for him, especially when an injured Brock had proven he could beat Show. So on top of being a bad match with bad booking, it makes no sense. Nice job WWE.
Show and Heyman immediately bail.
We recap the triple threat Tag Team Title match. Benoit and Angle beat Rey and Edge in the match of the year at No Mercy in a tournament final. The new champions argued over who is team captain and have to work together or they’re suspended. Edge and Mysterio won the titles on Smackdown in 2/3 falls match. Stephanie threw in Los Guerreros because these are the Smackdown Six and you can’t have just four of them together, even though we’ve had that for months. Not that I’m complaining though, because this is going to be AWESOME.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros
Edge and Mysterio are champions and this is under elimination rules. It’s Mysterio vs. Benoit to start which is fine with me. Benoit hits a HARD chop but gets caught in a hurricanrana and a flapjack to give Rey what will likely be a short lived advantage. Off to Edge for a double hiptoss before Kurt gets the tag and a big pop. Chavo punches Angle in the back of the head and apparently that’s a tag.
Chavo gets shouldered down but nips up immediately. Off to Mysterio vs. Eddie which is one of those pairings that works no matter what. A headscissors takes Eddie down and it’s off to Kurt to face the masked man. They’re going very fast paced so far. Angle misses a charge into the post but Rey takes too much time on the top and gets run over by Kurt. The Olympian tags in the Canadian who suplexes Rey down for two.
Back to Angle who suplexes Rey down and gets in a cheap shot on Edge. The Angle Slam is countered but Angle clotheslines Rey down instead. Back to Chris as Tazz talks about Los Guerreros not wanting to get in yet. The battling partners tag in again so Angle can put on a front facelock. Rey fights up after about a minute in the hold and kicks Kurt in the face to take him down.
There’s the hot tag to Edge who cleans house with a bunch of suplexes. Eddie comes in and goes to the floor with Rey. Edge misses the spear and gets caught in a Crossface and ankle lock AT THE SAME TIME. Mysterio breaks both parts of the hold up and Chavo pulls Angle to the floor. Rey dives on both of them and Benoit Germans Edge but Eddie comes in off the top to sunset flip Benoit, sending Edge flying in a German for two each. Eddie gets suplexed to the floor with his head smashing into the apron on the way down.
Benoit rolls more Germans on Edge (Is it any wonder why he needed neck surgery five months after this?) and Eddie hits the Frog Splash on Edge but Benoit hits the Swan Dive on Eddie. Angle Slam and Ankle lock to Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge. Chavo hits Benoit with a belt and throws it to Angle. Benoit thinks Angle hit him and Mysterio dropkicks Chris into Angle. Angle and Rey go to the floor and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination. Absolutely amazing sequence there which NEVER STOPPED.
Angle and Benoit destroy Edge and Rey before leaving. They lay out Los Guerreros too for fun. Eddie vs. Edge keeps the match going and Eddie suplexes the Canadian down before it’s off to Chavo. Chavo pounds away on Edge as Los Guerreros double team. We get down to a much more standard tag team formula with Edge playing Ricky Morton. Edge finally comes back with a double clothesline and it’s off to Rey.
Things speed up again with Rey flying all over the place and hitting a headscissors to put Chavo down. Edge spears both guys down and launches Rey up to hurricanrana Eddie off the top. That’s another awesome sequence. There’s the 619 to Eddie but Chavo hits Rey in the back to break up the West Coast Pop. Eddie puts on the Lasso From El Paso (a Boston Crab/Sharpshooter hybrid) for the tap and the titles.
Rating: B+. This was a match that felt like it got hacked to death. If you give these guys another 15 minutes (the match ran 20) and take away the belt shots, the match gets a lot better. The first half, as in before the first elimination, is INCREDIBLE. The stuff after that though is good but standard. Still though, these guys were the future of the company and it was a good sign to see them. Combine that with three guys named Batista, Orton and Cena that had debuted earlier in the year and you’ve got the next five years of WWE.
Christopher Nowitski (a Harvard graduate from Tough Enough) is here to make fun of New York in a really dull promo. Matt Hardy comes out to yell at him before blasting New York as well. The mouth running goes on even longer until FINALLY Scott Steiner debuts and murders them. Somehow this took nearly eight minutes. Steiner would go on to have perhaps the two worst PPV World Title matches in recorded history against HHH before being shunted down the card.
Shawn Michaels says he believes in himself but we get RNN BREAKING NEWS! It’s Randy Orton, who has a bad shoulder. He says there’s no new damage to his bad shoulder due to an extra pillow on the plane. This was the WAY over the top deal that Orton was doing which first turned him heel. I loved it but it got annoying fast, which is the right idea.
We recap the Elimination Chamber. HHH is the official WORLD CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING but Shawn beat him at Summerslam and wants a rematch. Bischoff wants to top the Cell so here’s his latest idea. The rules are mostly simple: two guys start and there are four more in individual pods. After five minutes there’s a new guy introduced and it’s elimination rules. The winner is world champion. The other four guys are there because they’re the biggest stars on Raw. This video is set to Always again and they’re not even trying to hide that this is mostly about HHH vs. Shawn.
HHH says that he’s awesome and he’ll keep the title.
Eric comes out and walks through the Chamber to explain everything I just said. Apparently the glass is bulletproof. This is the first time the Chamber had been seen and I believe the first time the rules have been explained.
Raw World Title: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam
Jericho is a Tag Team Champion with Christian, but the cool part here is that as he comes out, Saliva does his theme song live at WWF New York. HHH is defending of course. Shawn’s tights are….brown. This is one of those decisions that no one ever quite got and he was made fun of extensively for them apparently. I mean…..BROWN? Mankind wore brown for crying out loud. The wide shot of the Chamber really does look cool. Anyway the entrances take a long time and RVD vs. HHH gets us going.
Van Dam hits a spinwheel kick to take HHH down but walks into a facebuster. The Pedigree is countered into a backdrop over the top to hit the cage outside the ring. JR’s statements about the Chamber are already nuts as he says it has no soul or conscience. As in the pieces of steel and metal. Anyway, HHH is rammed into the cage over and over to bust him open and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder over the top rope to land on HHH on the cage. There’s a floor made of cage surrounding the ring that is level with the mat if that wasn’t clear.
Van Dam goes up on one of the pods but his flip dive mostly hits the floor instead of HHH. Back in the ring and HHH gets stomped down in the corner as Jericho is added in as the third man. Van Dam immediately kicks him down and it’s five minutes until the next entrant. A cartwheel into a moonsault gets two on Jericho and they head outside the ring as well. In the first famous spot in the Chamber’s history, Van Dam jumps off the top rope, misses Jericho, and grabs onto the cage like Spider-Man before spinning back around to cross body Jericho.
HHH gets back up and hits the knee to the face of Van Dam which gives Jericho a two count. HHH and Jericho double team RVD before Chris tells Shawn to suck it. Van Dam’s back gets rammed into the cage wall some more and Jericho talks a lot of trash. Rob’s back goes into the cage over and over and we head back in to the ring. There’s a spin kick to put Jericho down as Booker T is in fourth.
Booker quickly clears the ring and we get a Spinarooni before Van Dam fights Booker one on one. Booker gets in some shots to Rob but walks into the stepover kick to give Van Dam control again. HHH gets back up and takes Van Dam down, only to get caught by the scissors kick from Booker. The next big spot of the match is Van Dam going up to the top of the pod and hitting the Five Star on HHH, with Van Dam’s knee hitting HHH’s throat, severely (and legitimately) injuring HHH’s windpipe. Since HHH can’t get up right now to eliminate Van Dam, Booker hits a missile dropkick to take Van Dam out.
Booker grabs a quick cover on HHH but only gets two. Jericho goes after Booker but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for his efforts. Kane comes in fifth and goes off on Booker and Jericho as HHH lays on the outside. Jericho gets launched face first into the cage wall and is then thrown through the bulletproof, yes BULLETPROOF, glass. This would become a running joke in the Chamber over the years.
JR says the Chamber has no soul or conscience again just to hammer home the point. Kane chokeslams Booker and Jericho adds the Lionsault to take Booker out and get us down to four guys. A Kane suplex gets two on Jericho as we’re waiting on Shawn to come in. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down ala Flair. Jericho missile dropkicks Kane down and here’s HBK.
HHH is down in the corner of course so Shawn can only beat on Kane and Jericho. There’s the forearm to Kane but no nipup, leaving everyone down at the moment. Kane whips Shawn HARD into the corner where Shawn flips upside down. There’s a chokeslam for all three remaining guys not named Kane but instead of covering, Kane loads up a Tombstone on HHH. Shawn superkicks Kane down but he sits up. The Pedigree and Lionsault finally put Kane out and we’re down to three.
Shawn gets double teamed by HHH and Jericho and it’s time for Chris to dance. A few rams into the cage bust Shawn open. Jericho talks more trash and HHH walks around a lot. Shawn tries to fight back but his piledriver on the cage is countered to backdrop his bad back onto the cage again. There’s the Lionsault….for two.
Shawn comes back with a moonsault press to Jericho for two before putting Jericho in the Walls. HHH finally comes back from getting popcorn or something with a DDT to Shawn. Jericho and HHH finally get in the argument you were expecting and the fight is on. Jericho jumps out of the corner and lands in the Pedigree, but Jericho counters into the Walls. While holding HHH, Shawn kicks Jericho’s head off and it’s down to one on one.
So it’s Shawn, bloodied and injured and in his second match in four years, against an also injured HHH in the main event at Madison Square Garden. The spinebuster puts Shawn down and HHH backdrops him over the top. Shawn sends HHH into the cage but when Shawn tries to Pedigree HHH on the steel, HHH counters into a slingshot through the cage again.
Back in the ring all that gets two and it’s time for the slugout. A facebuster puts Shawn down and it’s another clothesline to put him onto the outside. The Pedigree on the steel is countered into another slingshot into the Chamber wall. Back into the ring and Shawn drops the elbow off the top of the pod. The Superkick is countered into the Pedigree and, say it with me, Shawn kicks out at two. Another Pedigree is countered into a backdrop, followed by the Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the title.
Rating: D+. I’ve mellowed on this match in the last few years to the point where I’m not mad about it anymore. However, it’s still one of those matches where you look at it and say really. As in REALLY? We’re supposed to buy that Shawn can survive ALL of that and still win the title? You have to keep in mind this isn’t the Shawn who was having the match of the year for like five years running. No one expected him to go on as long as he did. At this point, making it to Wrestlemania would have been impressive.
That’s where this match loses it for me: we’re supposed to buy that Shawn is so great, so amazing, and so tough that he can basically walk off the street and be better than four of the top guys in the business? There comes a point where my suspension of disbelief is cut off and I can’t buy this anymore. We passed that at Summerslam, making this even more ridiculous. This match is also the reason we had to sit through the AWFUL match at Armageddon, where HHH and Shawn got to waste 40 minutes of our time by barely being able to move.
In short, this is way more than I can accept as far as the match being realistic. In wrestling, you have to accept that some stuff is ridiculous. That’s called suspending disbelief. However, there comes a point where that’s not the case any longer. It’s unrealistic in wrestling terms to accept that Shawn can survive all this and win the title. This was pure selfishness from Shawn and HHH, which would get WAY worse in the future. HHH wouldn’t make a new star for over a YEAR when he put Benoit over at Wrestlemania in the same arena.
As for the rest of the match, it’s acceptable, but WAY too long. The Chamber matches need to go about thirty minutes instead of the forty this one went. The last seventeen minutes here, as in the amount of time after Kane is eliminated, are REALLY repetitive and while they had good drama, they needed to be cut. Booker, RVD, Jericho and Kane were all there to fill in spaces and be there for Shawn and HHH to bounce off of. I don’t hate the match, but it really doesn’t work all that well.
Confetti falls to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The show overall is pretty solid actually but the main event is a good sized letdown. The Show/Lesnar stuff I went on about enough, but other than those two things the card is pretty solid. The triple threat tag is good stuff but the No Mercy match is even better. This show is worth checking out, but you won’t be thrilled by the Chamber.
Ratings Comparison
Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning
Original: B
Redo: B-
Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Victoria vs. Trish Stratus
Original: C-
Redo: B
Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar
Original: D-
Redo: D+
Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio
Original: B
Redo: B+
Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho
Original: B
Redo: D+
Overall Rating
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Dang that’s a big swing on the Chamber. I don’t remember liking it that much the first time.
Monday Nitro – March 26, 2001 (2016 Redo, Final Episode, Final Thoughts On Nitro): Everybody Have Fun Tonight
Monday Nitro #288 Date: March 26, 2001
Location: Boardwalk Beach Resort, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson
I can’t believe I actually typed that. After over five and a half years, we’ve actually arrived at the final episode of Monday Nitro. Tonight is the Night of Champions show with every title being defended. Other than that there’s been an open call to all former WCW World Champions to show up and bring their gear. That could be interesting or a big disappointment and I’ll let you guess which I’m expecting. Let’s get to it.
We open with Vince McMahon standing in front of the Raw interview set. There had been rumors that something big was coming but if you thought WCW was going to survive after this, you really were in denial. Vince gives us the famous quote of “the very fate of WCW is in my hands” and that’s pretty much it for WCW. Yeah there were plans for WCW to continue, but you had to know that Vince was going to crush them given his track record.
Opening sequence.
The outside sets are still really cool and look so different than anything else most companies would do.
The announcers aren’t sure what to think. It’s so strange to hear his name mentioned on Nitro.
Here’s Ric Flair, instantly a face for the final show, with something to say. Ric thinks he heard Vince McMahon say he would hold WCW in the palms of his hand. So he’s going to hold Jack Brisco, Dory Funk, Harley Race (none of whom actually wrestled in WCW but close enough), the Road Warriors, Lex Luger and Sting in the palm of his hand? Not on Flair’s watch.
Flair is a fourteen time World Champion (as the title count is a different number here despite him winning no more titles and despite him saying he’s a 20-something time champion because it’s all over the place) and this is a company that has run neck and neck with Vince for years. Yeah I think it’s like two or three years but whatever. Vince’s dad voted for Flair to be the World Champion (you don’t often hear Flair break kayfabe like that) back in the 1970s and he’s been flying around the world ever since.
This company has always been about the boys and Vince can’t hold them in his hands. Vince hasn’t bled for forty five minutes and wrestled for an hour before going to the next town and doing it all again the next night. In closing, Flair says his greatest opponent has been Sting. Tonight, he wants Sting one more time as it’s his last chance to beat the man.
This was a really passionate speech and Flair was the only one who could give it due to his history and resume in wrestling. The problem is that he’s wrong about how WCW is going to be remembered. A lot of people are going to remember it as the wrestling based company (and it was) but a lot of people are also going to remember it as the company that set the standard for being the biggest money pit that wrestling has ever seen.
Now Flair is definitely in the previous camp of the two as he really never was in with the crowd that brought WCW down and always stood for tradition. I liked the idea here and Flair sold it very well but it’s hard to accept WCW as this great company that Vince just pulled the plug on one day.
Macho Man Slim Jim ad, just for old times’ sake I guess.
WCW World Title/US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.
Title vs. title. Booker starts fast with a spinning kick to the face for an early two. Scott Hudson asks when the last time the US Champion faced the World Champion as he’s supposed to do “every single night”. That’s why I’ve never liked that rule and was glad when WCW stopped enforcing it. If the US Champion is the #1 contender by definition, wouldn’t that be the only World Title match we ever get?
Booker hammers away in the corner until Scott sends him outside but misses a pipe shot by hitting the post by mistake. Hudson: “He almost split the post with that pipe!” No Scott, he didn’t. A belly to belly gets two on Booker. Steiner cranks on both arms but gets dropkicked down. The Ghetto Blaster and Spinarooni set up a side kick, followed by the Book End to give us a new World Champion.
Rating: C. Well that happened. This felt like a quick TV Title match for the sake of getting the titles on the show instead of something big. I know they wanted to give the title to a top face but opening the show with a five minute match? I’m curious to see what else they feel deserves this time instead of this match.
Video on Spring Break. Eh it’s a sponsor thing so I guess they have to do this.
Vince is on the phone with his attorney and laughs at the idea of WCW holding its last show in the Florida panhandle.
Jung Dragons vs. 3 Count vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio
Winner gets a Cruiserweight Tag Team Title match later tonight. Kidman headscissors Yang to start but everything breaks down in the first thirty seconds. Everyone heads outside with Shannon hitting a big corkscrew dive, leaving Yang to hit Yang Time for two on Rey as Kidman makes the save. Bottoms Up plants Kidman with Kaz making the save this time. Karagias hits a 450 on Kaz for two more but Kidman knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Rey hits a quick springboard legdrop to pin Moore and get the title shot.
Rating: C. This is another hard one to grade as it’s about three and a half minutes long with everyone flying all over the place and no structure whatsoever. They probably could have been cut off the show without missing anything and the time could have been giving to the World Title match but I’ve heard worse ideas. That being said, I would have liked to see 3 Count, Noble/Karagias or the Dragons get a title shot, if nothing else as a thank you for everything they did for six months.
Trish Stratus comes in to see Vince and I think you can guess what happens.
Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms
Shane is defending. Chavo drives him into the corner to start but gets caught in the fireman’s carry facebuster for two. A belly to back puts the champ down but he pops back up top for a sunset flip. Chavo gets two more off a northern lights suplex and ducks a superkick. The second superkick connects though and the Vertebreaker retains Helms’ title.
Rating: C+. Another short match but I like the idea of putting Shane over again. Helms has been awesome and deserves to go out as champion. It’s good that both of these guys had long careers as they’re two of the only guys who looked like they were trying every single night in the last six months of WCW’s run. It’s even more impressive when you consider how different Shane’s character would become in the next few years.
We’re off to a commercial before Tony can even say who won.
Booker says he’s not done yet and is ready to fight anyone.
Trish has lost her jacket and here’s Michael Cole to interview Vince. Guess what his thoughts are on WCW fans’ concerns.
Tag Team Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo
Palumbo and O’Haire are defending after losing a non-title match last year. Sean and Storm start things off with O’Haire taking over and bringing in Chuck. That goes badly for the champs as Awesome slingshots in with a splash for two. Back to Storm who is catapulted into the buckle and staggers back into a sunset flip for another near fall. The hot tag brings in O’Haire to clean house and the reverse AA gets two on Awesome. Everything breaks down and the Jungle Kick into the Seanton Bomb puts Awesome away to retain the titles.
Rating: C. This show is moving fast and the longest match so far is the opener. That being said, the wrestling is far from the point tonight with most of the show being about the atmosphere and making sure every champion gets one more match. Team Canada were good designated victims for O’Haire and Palumbo, who should have been bigger deals than they wound up being.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
THIS warranted a spot on the show? They really couldn’t have thrown this on Thunder instead? If Stasiak loses he gets tattooed. Stacy teases stripping before the match but just introduces Stasiak. Bigelow’s early offense goes nowhere but he ducks a top rope clothesline. Stacy gets on the apron to distract the referee as Bigelow hits the top rope headbutt. Greetings From Asbury Park is broken up by the blonde and the neckbreaker puts Bigelow away in a nothing match. This really didn’t need to be on the show.
William Regal tries to talk Vince out of buying WCW. I still love that Wrestlemania X7 baseball jersey.
Diamond Dallas Page has loved the ride and wants to know what’s next. Page thanks everyone who has been there for him but gives most of the credit to the fans. It’s time to take this to the next level.
Package on the WCW/NWA World Title. That’s a nice touch.
Vince says it’s about that time.
Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Kidman/Rey Mysterio vs. Kid Romeo/Elix Skipper
Skipper and Romeo are defending. Skipper jumps Kidman on the way in as Tony rips on Regal because THAT needed to be done on this show. Kidman holds Skipper up for a springboard dropkick from Mysterio as they’re clearly going very fast. A quick double team puts Kidman in trouble and Skipper Matrixes out of a cross body.
Romeo misses a high cross body of his own and the hot tag brings in Rey to clean house. Everything breaks down and a baseball slide low blow sets up the Bronco Buster on Skipper but Romeo saves him before Rey can go up top. Rey’s springboard falling headbutt gets two and the Kid Crusher on Elix gives us new champions.
Rating: C+. That’s it for the belts and really, it’s not like they meant anything in the first place. Romeo and Skipper had a total of maybe five matches together so it’s cool to see Kidman and Mysterio winding up as the final champions. They’ve been around for so long that they deserve one last title reign before this company goes under.
Sting is here and says there’s no way he would miss this night. As for his future, nothing’s for sure. IT’S SHOWTIME FOLKS!
Another Spring Break video.
Vince struts down the hall.
Ric Flair vs. Sting
Flair is wrestling in a t-shirt, which is probably in our best interest. Hudson puts over Sting as the only guy who never jumped. Sting shoves him down to start and Flair is already complaining of a hair pull. The announcers talk about the history between these two as Flair keeps bouncing off Sting. A quick thumb to the eye has Sting in a bit of trouble but, as has been the case for thirteen years, the chops have no effect. It wouldn’t feel right if they did. Ric heads outside for a breather before bailing from Sting’s….leapfrog?
Back in and Sting hits the gorilla press before raining down right hands in the corner. There’s the Flair Flop and Sting takes a quick bow. Flair gets in the required low blow but goes up top for one more slam. The clothesline train is broken up and there’s the Figure Four on Sting. A few bangs of the chest allow Sting to turn the hold over and it’s time to no sell some more chops. Sting grabs a superplex and throws on the Scorpion Deathlock to make Flair give up and end the final Nitro match.
Rating: B. That’s pure nostalgia and there really was no other option to end the show than Sting (well maybe one but we’ll get there in a second). Sting and Flair have a special connection to each other and even their TNA match felt somewhat special. This was all you could ask for out of a final match between them or from WCW and I smiled a lot as it went on.
On a side note though: is there a better way for WCW to go out? Not with the young guy winning the title back from the veteran monster. No, instead we have two guys past their primes as both athletes and draws but they’re having the main event slot because that’s how we did it in the old days and they’re the real stars. Oh and one of them was so out of shape that he had to wear a shirt instead of his regular gear. Of course it’s very different than the times that killed WCW but it’s kind of poetic in a way.
Sting and Flair hug and it’s time to go to the simulcast of Raw.
Vince is in the ring and says for the first time ever, this is being broadcast on both TNT and TNN. As you may have heard, he’s bought his competition and acquired WCW. However, the deal isn’t quite done yet because no one knows what to do with WCW. Time Warner has signed the contract but Vince is going to sign his part at Wrestlemania. Oh and he wants Ted Turner himself to walk down the aisle at Sports Entertainment Mania.
Vince has conquered wrestling and become a billionaire all by himself. Once Turner brings him the contract, Vince is going to have him sit in the corner and watch what Vince does to his son. This turns into a promo about Sunday’s McMahon vs. McMahon match and oh yeah this is about WCW. Vince brings up some WCW history and just lets out a lot of (never all of it) his bragging about finally beating them.
Maybe they could turn WCW into a big conglomerate but that brings up the question of who should be part of this new WCW. Fans: “GOLDBERG!” Hulk Hogan gets a very lukewarm reaction, Lex Luger gets NOTHING, Buff Bagwell actually gets a pop, Booker T., gets a bigger pop, Scott Steiner gets a roar (that’s a surprise) and the Goldberg chants cut Vince off. Sting gets another pop (though smaller than Bagwell’s actually) and Goldberg gets the loudest pop of the bunch.
Vince gets back to business and says he could have gone down to Florida and given everyone a piece of his mind. By piece of his mind, he means telling them that they’re fired of course. That’s what’s going to happen anyway because WCW is going on the shelf and it’s buried for good. Anyone who attempts to compete with him, including his son Shane, will be buried just like WCW. Vince yells a lot but here’s Shane……ON NITRO!
Shane is down in Panama City, Florida while Vince is in Cleveland and as usual, Vince’s ego has gotten the best of him. Vince wanted to finalize the deal at Wrestlemania but the deal has already been finalized. The name on the contract does say McMahon, but it says SHANE McMahon because he now owns WCW. Ignore the fact that Vince said Time Warner didn’t know Vince hadn’t signed yet so this doesn’t make a ton of sense. Just like WCW did in the past, Shane is going to take care of Vince at Wrestlemania. I lost it seeing this live and it still works very well all these years later.
Nitro wraps up with a graphic…..for Austin/The Rock vs. Undertaker/Kane.
Oh wait we do get a good night and goodbye message…..with the word satellite underneath for some reason. One last production glitch for the road I guess.
Overall Rating: B. I really don’t know what to think of this show. The wrestling certainly wasn’t the point and they did a good job of making this feel like a fun show. Stasiak was the only heel to win all night and everything felt either fun or important with the titles (and Flair vs. Sting) being the only things that mattered. This show flies by and feels like an appropriate finale.
You could say that WCW could have brought in some more former stars and previous World Champions, but really that wouldn’t have made a lot of sense. WCW is going out of business because of how bad things were in the previous era. Do you really want to bring back those people and celebrate them? With all the horrible things people like Hogan and Nash caused for WCW, they really don’t belong on a show that is the closest thing to a celebration of the company we’re going to have.
As for the final storylines, many of which were abandoned, I was interested in finding out who was attacking the Magnificent Seven (never mentioned on this show) but I didn’t have a lot of hope for the storyline long term. At the end of the day, your top heels were Ric Flair, Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, Jeff Jarrett and the Steiner Brothers. Same guys, same big heel stable, same cruiserweight division stealing the show and being treated like nothing more than a warmup act. It was the same thing, as it always was again and again, just like Nitro was for years.
Now on to the final thoughts on the show as a whole, which are probably going to ramble a lot.
I liked the last Nitro and one major reason was because it felt completely different than any episode in years. Instead of a show that needed to be put out of its misery, it was actually fun for the first time in way too long. Yeah fun. Of all the problems Nitro had over the years, a big one was a lack of entertainment. Other than stuff from Jericho or a few one off lines from various people, how many fun things do you remember about this series? With that idea in mind, let’s go ahead and get to the big final thoughts on the series.
It’s safe to say that Nitro was definitely more adult oriented and serious than Raw but that doesn’t always work. There have literally been books written about how badly WCW screwed up over the years and I’m sure you’re familiar with all their various blunders, flat out stupid decisions, title messes and any other possible dumb thing they could have done so I won’t bother rehashing all of that again. Just remember: Vince Russo is MANLY.
Here’s what I find interesting: Nitro really was a change of pace for WCW. Do you remember how things were before it came on the air? Say, back in 1993? Remember how those shows went? With stuff like the British Bulldog main eventing and Sting vs. Nailz or the NWA being around for reasons that still make no sense? Even in 1994, it was Hogan vs. people like Brutus Beefcake, Earthquake and Kamala.
Then Nitro came along and changed things, but the first few months were hardly anything interesting. You had Hogan vs. the Dungeon of Doom (I still like them) and Ric Flair vs. the Giant but it took the Outsiders invading to take the show to new heights. Once Hogan showed up as the leader (which he didn’t do until eight days after Bash at the Beach, which is still ridiculous) and took the whole place over, there was no turning back for about a year.
Unfortunately, that was the peak of the show. Sting chasing Hogan and the build towards Starrcade 1997 was great but there was nothing after that. Goldberg winning the title was a great moment for one night but the show overall was turning into a mess as WCW scrambled to figure out what they could do to get back into the fight with Raw. By early 1999, Nitro was basically done as a real challenge and it only got worse after that.
So let’s say the good times started the night Hall jumped the barricade (May 27, 1996) and ended with the Fingerpoke of Doom (and that end date is a big stretch) on January 4, 1999. That’s less than three years where Nitro was good (Assuming you consider the 1997 shows to be good. I can go with must see TV but that doesn’t equal quality.) and the rest of the time ranged from not bad to some of the worst television in the history of wrestling.
That’s what people often forget about Nitro: in less than six years on the air, they were only good for about half their run. It’s really fascinating to me that Nitro is almost this fabled program that everyone remembers but Impact has been around twice as long as Nitro was and that’s more of a nuisance than anything else.
The point though is that Nitro was a game changer for WCW, but it was a short term change. WCW really wasn’t doing very well until Hogan came in and he could only carry them so far. They overtook the WWF on the strength of the NWO feud but once that ran out, the WWF came right back and WCW never came close again. Nitro was indeed a big deal, but it wasn’t something that put them on top for years and years, which shows you how rare it is for something to challenge Raw. To only be around that long and be the undisputed second biggest show ever in this era is quite an accomplishment.
Before I wrap this up, I have to mention some of the main reasons fans stuck around with Nitro. Over the years, there were WAY too many great matches to count between combinations of Eddie Guerrero, Raven, Diamond Dallas Page, Chris Benoit, Booker T., Saturn, Ric Flair and so many other names of workhorses who were the backbone of WCW and held the show together with great wrestling while the big names got the glory after putting in almost no quality work. Those guys are the forgotten heroes of Nitro and I’m glad that so many of them got to go elsewhere and have another run in their careers.
In addition to those bigger name wrestlers, Nitro also showcased a bunch of guys who almost never got any recognition in America. These guys were all talented and could put on a really fun show when they were given the chance. One of the best examples of this would be from June 7, 1999 with Ciclope/Damien vs. La Parka/Silver King in a hardcore match. These guys knew they weren’t going to get much TV time aside from this so they beat the heck out of each other and had one of the best surprise matches you’ll ever find. Check this out if you want to see four guys just beat each other up and have a great time doing so.
That’s why people stuck with Nitro as long as they did: sure the main event scene was going to be a bogged down mess that might offer one or two watchable matches a year but the undercard had the potential to offer you a show stealing classic on any given week. You never knew what the likes of Kanyon, Mysterio, Kidman, Malenko, Jericho, Guerrera and so many other names could pull off. There was even the hope that the new generation might rise up and become something, but once so many names left for the WWF in a year’s time, they took that hope with them. For me, that’s when WCW really died: when the hope left.
Overall, Nitro was a show that came, made a huge splash and then exploded into a huge fireball like nothing else in wrestling history. It definitely had some good moments (the Sting Army always springs to mind) and I was a huge fan growing up but by the middle of 1997 it was clear that the WWF was on the rise and WCW was going to have to step up its game to hold on. It gave fans another choice though and lit a very necessary fire under Vince that gave us some great Raw content as a result. If Nitro had one positive lasting legacy, it’s how good it made things on Raw and in a way we should be thankful for it.
That being said, Nitro really wasn’t the best show. The wrestling wasn’t great (though there were some bright spots, including some very good Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair matches and of course Benoit vs. Hart) and it was high on drama which was hit or miss, but there was an aggressiveness and an attitude in the early days that made you take notice. Once that left though, it was basically Impact with a bigger budget: copying whatever the WWF was doing and hoping to steal enough of an audience for one more big move.
There comes a point where you have to deliver something good on its own though and I don’t think WCW really knew how to do that. They knew how to have a big idea (or variations of that same big idea) and have a great start to a story but after that it would fall apart again due to a combination of incompetence, people with too much creative control, stupid politics or just bad wrestling.
That’s a major reason the WWF won in the end: all the stuff they would build up often resulted in a great payoff match at the end. With WCW, it usually led to Nash/Hogan/Luger/someone else having a bad match and bragging about how awesome it was while the fans changed the channel to see what Austin was up to next. Other than a few occasions, WCW never had that must see guy who could have the big match that people wanted to see. When they did, they stuck a taser in his chest so Nash could win the World Title.
I’m not going to miss watching Nitro, though I do miss part of having it around. As a kid I watched every week no matter what, but looking back it’s amazing that the show lasted as long as it did. It was put out of its misery at the end though and I have no reason to believe it was going to get any better (long term that is) under new ownership. It was WCW’s nature to find a way to mess things up and they had nothing to counter everything going on in the WWF.
Nitro may not be the whipping boy that the WWE likes to remember it as, but it’s also hardly this great show that was killed off too soon. That company ate itself alive and you could watch a lot of that happen every single week on Nitro. There are some good things to remember but there are far more moments where you wonder how they actually got this bad and still stayed on the air as long as they did. I can’t say I’m glad its gone but I really don’t miss sitting through that kind of self destruction week to week. That’s what Smackdown is for.
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Thunder – March 21, 2001 (Final Episode): How Many Times???
Thunder Date: March 21, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay
We’ve arrived at the final shows. We’ll start off the final episode of the corporate mandate that was Thunder, which has somehow gotten even less important over the years. The big story coming out of Monday is Ric Flair’s face being pressed onto the back of a donkey and the upcoming Night of Champions on Monday. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Monday and most of the major stories. I’m still curious about who was attacking the Magnificent Seven. For some reason this recap starts with Dusty vs. Flair, goes to Booker vs. Steiner being announced and goes back to Dusty vs. Flair.
Air Raid vs. Jung Dragons
That would be Air Paris/AJ (now Air) Styles, now in matching G-Suits on the way to the ring. Yang and Styles get things going and hit the mat almost immediately with Yang getting two off a rollup. A headscissors gets Styles out of what looked like a Tombstone and it’s Paris sneaking in for a superkick. Everything breaks down for a few seconds before Styles hits the yet to be named Styles Clash (very little reaction from the announcers) for two on Kaz.
Yang comes back in and knocks AJ out to the floor but Raid double teams Yang down to take over for the first time. It’s off to Paris for a double faceplant, only to have Yang hit a running Liger Bomb out of the corner for two. The tag brings in Kaz to clean house with some martial arts but he walks into a Burning Hammer of all things from Paris. Styles dives into a dropkick but he gets up to counter Yang Time.
Air Raid loads up what looked like a superbomb/neckbreaker combo. Well for all I know they might have broken down into a Charleston dance off as the camera cut to the crowd so I’m assuming a botch. Something like an H Bomb gets two on Kaz with Yang making the save. Kaz gets back up and loads up something like Sister Abigail but jumps forward for something like a reverse bulldog for the pin on Styles.
Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted and a good way for these four to go out. The Dragons went from a pretty generic high flying Japanese team to a downright above average high flying Japanese team. Styles is another name on the list of stars that WCW had though a few matches in a low level tag team aren’t really enough to blame WCW for screwing up again.
We recap the Rhodes Family beating Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair on Sunday.
Here’s Dustin Rhodes with a bag of goodies and something to say. We see the clip of Flair and the donkey again so Dustin pulls out a game of Pin the Flair on the Jackass. To go with it: mouthwash, chapstick, and a hotel key for Flair and the donkey in case the idea wasn’t clear enough yet. Cue Flair to the screen to make Dustin vs. Jarrett/Scott Steiner for later tonight. Flair rants a lot so Dustin holds up the Horsemen sign but says it means to kiss the donkey again (Four words: Kiss My Daddy’s….)
Jason Jett vs. Cash
That would be Kid Kash. They trade arm holds to start and then flip each other around a bit with Jett being set out to the floor. A good looking slingshot hurricanrana has Jason in trouble but he dropkicks Cash out of the air to take over. Thankfully the announcers stop previewing Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Shawn Stasiak to talk about this match.
Kash sends him outside for a big flip dive off the top and an ECW chant. Back in and a double clothesline (with Kash coming off the middle rope and Jeff flipping into his) puts both of them down. Jett grabs a reverse kneeling piledriver but Kash runs the corner for a bad looking hurricanrana. The Crash Landing is broken up and the Moneymaker (double underhook lifting piledriver) gets two. Jett pops right back up and hits the Crash Landing for the pin.
Rating: C-. And so ends the Jason Jett story. There was potential but he was a far cry from what people like Guerrero and Helms were doing at the time. It could have gone somewhere with more time but alas Jett was another victim of the curse that was WCW going out of business for not knowing how to push people like Jason Jett. Among many other reasons of course.
Flair tries to calm Rick Steiner down after the team accused him of being the attacker.
Cat gives M.I. Smooth a pep talk.
The Cat/M.I. Smooth vs. Animal/Kanyon
Cat kicks Kanyon to start and drives some right hands into his head for good measure. It’s off to Smooth vs. Animal for the power brawl with Animal no selling a clothesline. Smooth no sells a clothesline though and it’s off to Cat, who walks right into a powerslam. A powerbomb out of the corner allows the tag off to Kanyon for some elbows, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.
Animal grabs a neck crank before handing it off to Kanyon for a chinlock. Kanyon’s middle rope Fameasser is countered with a powerbomb out of the corner but Animal breaks up the dancing elbow. Smooth comes in and cleans house on Kanyon as Cat kicks Animal on the floor. A trip puts Kanyon down and a splash gives Smooth the pin.
Rating: D+. Well at least Animal didn’t get the pin. Of all the things WCW did in its final months, hiring Animal is one of the most annoying. It’s such a WCW standard: bring in some name from the past that people don’t care about without his partner when you have people on the roster who could fill the role just as well. I’m sure Animal’s brother booking the show has nothing to do with it.
Rick Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus
Morrus has Konnan with him. As is so often the case in Rick matches, they’re on the floor in about thirty seconds with Steiner no selling Morrus’ offense. Hugh clotheslines the post by mistake so Rick throws him inside for an Angle Slam of all things. The cover only gets two as Rick has to yell at some fans. Well at least he’s doing something right. Rick’s bulldog gets two with Morrus getting his foot on the ropes.
That earns him a Steiner Line but Morrus comes back with a spinwheel kick. Steiner kicks him low (referee is fine with it) and gets in a chair shot (no complaints from the referee). He loads up some Pillmanizing (this referee is incompetent) but calls out Shane Douglas. Shane comes out for the brawl (HOW IS NONE OF THIS A DQ???) and hits Rick in the head with his cast, knocking him into a German suplex to give Morrus the pin.
Rating: D. Even on the final show Rick Steiner can’t pick things up a little bit? I’m assuming this was designed to set up Rick vs. Shane on Nitro (How appropriate: a Walking Dead match on the final Nitro.) or at some point in the future so I’ll actually give them some credit for trying to have some more angles for beyond Monday in case they were around.
Post match Douglas hands Dave Penzer a video. Shouldn’t he hand that to the production truck?
After a break, the tape shows Douglas challenging Steiner to a fight on Nitro. Was there a reason he just didn’t do this live on the mic?
Kid Romeo/Elix Skipper/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman/Shane Helms
Kidman and Chavo start things off but Guerrero goes after Shane on the apron, allowing Kidman to grab a neckbreaker. Shane comes in for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a Skipper distraction lets Chavo take over. It’s off to Romeo for some dancing until Shane kicks him in the face. A Samoan drop into a springboard legdrop keeps Romeo in trouble until Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to take over.
Everyone heads outside for the series of dives in a nice sequence. Back in and Skipper plants Rey with a dragon suplex before handing it off to Chavo without bothering to cover. A Gory Bomb gets two for Chavo but Rey gets in a running DDT to drop Romeo. Kidman’s top rope elbow gets another two as everything breaks down. Chavo saves Romeo from the Vertebreaker so it’s the Kid Crusher to put Romeo away.
Rating: C+. One more good cruiserweight six man to go out on. I’m always a fan of combining two feuds into one match and they did fine here, especially with a challenger pinning a champion (fine as it was a six man and not a regular tag) to wrap it up. There isn’t much to say here but it was exactly what you would expect from these six.
Rick still isn’t happy. Was he ever?
Chuck Palumbo tells Lance Storm to stay out of this match.
Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo
They’re all alone here as Chuck starts off with that good right hand of his. Mike sends him outside and hits a great looking springboard clothesline, followed by a slingshot splash for two back inside. A camel clutch doesn’t go anywhere so Mike sends him outside again with Chuck’s knees going into the steps. Chuck takes a chair away and blasts Awesome in the back but can’t manage to jump over him in the corner. Not that it matters as Mike drops him anyway, making the whole thing look bad.
With the wrestling not working they head outside for the third time with Mike being whipped into the barricade. Awesome comes back in with a top rope shoulder but takes WAY too long setting up the Awesome Splash, allowing Palumbo to roll away just in time. Cue Storm and O’Haire to fight at ringside, leaving Palumbo to hit the Jungle Kick for the pin.
Rating: C. I like these guys and it’s nice to see them getting a push near the end. O’Haire was the star of the team but Palumbo was good enough to keep a job in WWE for years and have a nice little career of his own. It was certainly bigger than any other Thrillers after leaving WCW, which was probably quite the surprise.
Dustin Rhodes vs. Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett
Before the match, Jeff says Booker will be dead after this match, just like his daddy’s career. We go to a break before Dustin’s entrance and come back with Animal finding Flair laid out in the back. Dustin hammers on Jeff in the corner to start but Scott’s distraction lets Jeff escape the Dust Buster. So why didn’t he just climb out on his own earlier? Scott ties Dustin in the Tree of Woe for a bit before Jeff crotches himself on the ropes. The bulldog gets two on Jeff but a pipe shot to the back sets up the Recliner for the quick submission.
Rating: D. What a perfect way for Thunder to go out: heels winning a fairly short, meaningless handicap match with an old face that doesn’t get much of a response from the crowd. Dustin didn’t do anything wrong in this run but time has shown that people don’t really care about Dustin Rhodes on his own. He’s just a guy in trunks who has done an above average job of separating himself from his famous father. That’s commendable, but it’s not that interesting. Goldust is someone people care about while Rhodes is just there and that’s a common problem in wrestling.
Booker comes out for the save and says he’s taking the title.
A group shot of the Thunder production crew ends the show.
Overall Rating: C. This felt more like any given episode of Thunder, which really isn’t surprising given how little Thunder meant. The cruiserweights were good (shocking) and the main event didn’t mean anything so it was all business as usual. Most of this stuff doesn’t matter anyway as Monday is a special show but it was nice to see at least some effort as they close it out.
So that’s Thunder. It’s no secret that the show wasn’t WCW’s idea and only existed because Turner Sports told them to put on a second show. For once you actually can’t pin this one on WCW but it’s not like they did much to help themselves. Looking back at Thunder, in all 147 episodes, I didn’t rate anything, be it match or show overall, higher than a B. In three years and three months, you would think they would somehow have something that high but nothing ever broke that barrier.
Over 147 episodes, a grand total of five received an overall rating higher than a C+. Five. As in less than twice a year this show delivered what I would consider to be a strong episode. In those same 147 episodes, I rated a total of thirty three matches above a C+. Of those thirty three, nine didn’t involve the cruiserweights. Think about that for a minute.
In almost three and a half years, a weekly wrestling show produced nine heavyweight matches that were better than slightly above average. Shockingly enough, every single one of those nine matches involved Chris Benoit, Booker T., Raven or Diamond Dallas Page. So in reality, those four and the cruiserweights were the only people delivering good matches on this show and even they weren’t doing it on a regular basis.
If you want to know why Thunder was such a nothing show, that’s where you start: on a show that had let’s say 900 matches (147 shows at six matches a show would be 882 so we’ll round up a bit), about three percent of the matches were even a little bit above average and nothing would be considered great. At some point, you need to offer something that makes people stick around. Wrestling that is just ok with a bunch of older names having horrible matches to close the shows aren’t going to do it.
Thunder just wasn’t a very good show and much like Smackdown in recent years, you almost never needed to watch it because almost nothing ever happened there. Let’s do a quick comparison with Monday Nitro regarding title changes and look at how many times each title changed hands from the time Thunder debuted until the end of the promotion (not counting the title being vacated):
World Title:
Nitro – 15, Thunder – 4 (Two of which were Kevin Nash awarding himself the title and losing it in the same night, a third being David Arquette and the final one being Nash winning the title, only to give it to Flair the following week on Nitro.). Now to be fair, maybe the bigger problem is that there are nineteen World Title changes on TV alone in just over less than three and a half years.
TV Title:
Nitro – 5, Thunder – 1
United States Title:
Nitro – 15, Thunder – 1
Tag Team Titles:
Nitro – 14, Thunder – 5 (Two of which were on a single show)
Cruiserweight Title:
Nitro – 11, Thunder – 5
Hardcore Title:
Nitro – 9, Thunder – 4
In total, that’s 69 for Nitro and 21 for Thunder. (Again, part of the problem is having ninety title changes on TV in twenty one months. By comparison, in the history of Monday Night Raw, there have been 259 title changes in the history of Monday Night Raw. WCW had more than one third the number of title changes on two TV shows in less than three and a half years than the biggest wrestling show of all time has had in over twenty three years spread over thirteen championships).
That’s the grand summary of why Thunder didn’t work: average at best wrestling most of the time, few major events and a bunch of horrible main events featuring either old wrestlers far past their primes or low level stars in matches people didn’t want to see. Thunder was a horrible idea from the beginning and never got any better. Monday Nitro going away was a major story. Thunder going away was a reminder that Thunder was a show that existed.
Monday Nitro – March 19, 2001: The Series Finale (Pretty Much)
Monday Nitro #282 Date: March 19, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson
Greed has come and gone and it should be interesting to see where things go with this final real show before next week’s grand (work with me here) finale. Scott Steiner is still World Champion after demolishing Diamond Dallas Page because that’s what Scott Steiner does, though it does raise the question of who is left for him to beat. In theory that would be Booker T., who became US Champion for the first time last night. Let’s get to it.
We open with an In Memorium tribute to Diamond Dallas Page, complete with Taps and a shot of a flag at half mast over video of a trailer park.
Quick look at last night’s main event.
Here’s the Magnificent Seven (well four, counting Midajah) to open things up. As they’re on the way to the ring, we’re told that Eric Bischoff will be calling in later. That should be interesting for a change. Scott says Page is now on the same list as Sting, Kevin Nash, Sid Vicious and Goldberg and demands that the fans pay homage to him.
Ric brags about beating Dusty and Dustin around Jacksonville last night and says Dusty isn’t here tonight. Dusty and Dustin pop up on screen to say Flair is going to kiss something tonight. After a challenge from Steiner, Dusty says someone is here to fight Steiner instead. Cue Booker T., who Scott says he beat so bad that Booker forgot where the barbershop is. Booker promises to get his hands on Steiner tonight.
Buff Bagwell and Animal are in the back with Buff accusing Lex Luger of being the attacker. The cameraman is told to follow Luger around all night.
Jason Jett vs. Disco Inferno
Hudson talks about Jason Jett’s win last night as we see his win on Thunder. Of course they can’t get it right with three shows left. Disco has Mike Sanders with him. Jason spins him him down with a headlock and a sitout powerbomb for two. Sanders offers a distraction though and it’s time for dancing.
A facebuster sets up more dancing and a delayed near fall before Disco starts in on the knee. Yet another distraction allows Sanders to come in and be quickly dispatched so Jett can slam Disco down, setting up a standing moonsault for two. Sanders tries to come in but hits Disco by mistake, allowing Jett to hit the Crash Landing for the pin.
Rating: D+. Jett continues to be interesting but this is pretty much it for him unless he’s got a final match on Thunder. Disco losing because of a stupid blunder is the perfect way for him to go out, but he deserves some credit for being around as long as he was. He debuted on one of the very first shows and made it all the way to the end on a glorified comedy character. There wasn’t any real future for him in the WWF or anything but Disco is someone who deserves more credit than he gets.
Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett are having a chat as the documentary cameraman (whose identity isn’t entirely clear actually) sneaks in a shot through the crack of a door.
Here’s Shane Helms to challenge Kidman to a rubber match for the Cruiserweight Title.
Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Kidman
Kidman is challenging. They run the ropes to start with Helms sending him outside and following with a big flip dive. A good looking high cross body gets two for the champ but Kidman gets the same off a belly to back. They’re moving out there so far. A BK Bomb plants Helms for two as we’re told that next week is the season finale. Helms stops a charge by raising a boot and ducks a clothesline to grab the Vertebreaker and retain the title.
Rating: C+. This was too short to be really good but they were flying around at high speed for the few minutes they had. Kidman looked good as always but it was clear that Helms was just flat out better than anyone else in the division at this point. He’s a great option for the final champion and I’m glad he had a long career after WCW went under.
Post match Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the brawl until Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper run down to help Guerrero. Rey Mysterio makes the save and the good guys (including Helms) clear the ring.
Lex Luger has been laid out so the cameraman goes to find Buff or Animal to help.
Bam Bam Bigelow has been granted a rematch with Shawn Stasiak. For the love of all things good and made of pickle flavored ice cream, WHY?
Buff and Animal ask if Luger saw anything. Animal freaks out because this needs to stop and Rick Steiner is the next suspect.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Stacy is now just Stacy instead of Stacy Keibler and despite the Miss Hancock outfit. Before the match we get a quick Shawn and Stacy Show with Shawn saying he’s ready to beat Bigelow up again so he and Stacy can get down to the real business. Bigelow throws him around to start but gets pounded in the corner. Who knew Shawn had that in him? A clothesline actually drops Bigelow but he intercepts Stacy’s hairspray. Ever the nice guy though, Bigelow doesn’t use it and opts for the Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.
The replays shows a virtually empty upper deck, which is only the fourth section away from the ring.
Post match Stasiak says he wants one more match but Bigelow wants the pot sweetened a bit: if he wins, Stasiak has to get a tattoo. Shawn agrees, despite thinking it was going to be Stacy at the time. Wouldn’t Stacy getting one be a bigger draw? Well to be fair they’re going out of business so that’s hardly their biggest problem.
Here are Scott Steiner, Flair and Midajah to the ring where a table has been set. Terry Taylor is there also but Scott throws the chairs out and grabs him by the shirt. Cue Booker T. to the stage so he’s clearly not a Red Rooster fan. Booker introduces the phone call from Eric Bischoff, which can be heard in the arena.
Bischoff has been trying to acquire WCW but they’ve hit some roadblocks that may be brick walls. Next week might be the last night of wrestling on the Turner networks so next week will be a Night of Champions, meaning every title will be on the line. That includes Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner in a title vs. title match. Also, any former World Heavyweight Champions are invited to the show next week and please bring your boots with them. As for Ric Flair, he will be giving Dusty that kiss tonight no matter what. Bischoff will be there next week and hangs up.
Steiner signs the contract for next week as Booker has made it to the ring. Scott jumps him before Booker can sign and beats him down with the pipe. Security comes in and gets laid out as well but Booker pops up and hits the ax kick on Scott. Booker gets the pipe but Steiner bails with Flair and Midajah, leaving Booker to say his catchphrase, which is then played again at the start of his theme song.
Buff, Animal and Luger go to see Ric (who obviously hasn’t been out to the ring yet when this was filmed) and Jeff. Ric says they’re going to regroup but there will be no kissing.
M.I. Smooth vs. Kanyon
Kanyon jumps Smooth (in wrestling gear here) during his entrance but gets powerslammed down. Smooth has to keep pulling his straps up as they head outside with Kanyon getting chopped around the ring. Back in and Smooth splashes him in the corner but Kanyon gets a Russian legsweep for two.
Kanyon goes Flair by asking for the time and dropping a low blow behind the referee’s back. A slingshot elbow gets two on Smooth as Kanyon looks bored. Maybe it’s the whole psycho character but he needs to find a better way to show emotion. Smooth powerbombs him but misses a charge into the post, allowing Kanyon to go grab a chair. Animal runs in and DDT’s Smooth with the Cat coming in for a save after the pin.
Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Kanyon looked bored out of his mind and after Smooth no sold all those chair shots last week but now he loses in five minutes to a DDT from Animal? I always liked Ice Train back in the day so it was cool to see him get a mild push over the last few weeks but that’s not quite how I was hoping he would wrap up his career.
Cat makes a tag match for Thunder.
Dusty Rhodes eats more burritos.
Rick Steiner vs. Konnan
Steiner really doesn’t seem to mind that he lost the US Title. They’re on the floor in less than ten seconds and for some reason Rick is in bright blue. They trade whips into the barricade before Rick runs him over back inside. We’re firmly in the Rick Steiner formula now with Steiner slowly walking around and occasionally hitting Konnan before staring out at the crowd.
Konnan comes back with a faceplant but Rick completely misses a clothesline. It’s sold anyway and Konnan looks like a moron as a result, despite the clothesline being about a foot above his head. Rick stands over him again before putting Konnan’s arm between Rick’s legs and laying down, which apparently is an armbar. As the fans try to get their head around how Rick can actually be that lazy, Shane Douglas comes in for the DQ with a cast shot to Steiner’s head.
Rating: F. For that armbar alone. Of all the people who wouldn’t be seen again for years anywhere outside of a reunion show or some bad TNA pay per view, I think I’ll miss Rick Steiner the least. The guy was part of a great team at one point but ever since he’s become a singles wrestler, he’s turned into one of the biggest embarrassments I’ve ever seen in a wrestling ring.
Rick is back up ten seconds later to be knocked outside by Hugh Morrus.
Bagwell, Luger and Animal accuse Rick of being the attacker and are thrown out after an argument.
Team Canada is ready to win a non-title match and earn a Tag Team Title shot.
Ric assures Jarrett that he’ll make the right decision.
Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Team Canada
Non-title. Storm and Palumbo start to some USA chants. Chuck fires off some great right hands and dropkicks Storm out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Sean vs. Mike with O’Haire ducking a clothesline and hitting a perfect spinning kick to the face for two. Lance comes in for some right hands and a suplex to set up Awesome’s slingshot splash for two more.
Awesome clotheslines Storm by mistake but Storm comes off the top to stop a tag attempt. Back up and Sean hits a fireman’s carry throw on Storm, allowing the hot tag off to Chuck to clean house. It’s a shame that the crowd isn’t reacting to most of this as they’re having a good match.
Everything breaks down and Awesome eats the Jungle Kick but Storm breaks up the Seanton Bomb. Storm gets a chair kicked into his face but Awesome cracks Palumbo in the head with another chair. The shot was so close to Nick Patrick’s head that even Tony has to ask how Patrick didn’t hear it. The Awesome Bomb gives Mike the pin on Palumbo. That’s your Tag Team Title match next week.
Rating: B. I liked this a lot better than I was expecting to as O’Haire and Palumbo have turned into a good team here in the final few weeks. Team Canada isn’t bad either as Storm and Awesome have good chemistry together and the rematch should be fun next week, even if it barely means anything. You need a good wrestling match like this to boost a show and this one did just that.
Here are Jarrett and Flair for the big closing segment. Flair tells Dusty to come out here right now but it’s Dustin instead. Ric wants the old version so Dustin introduces his dad who comes out with a donkey and I think you get the joke. In case it’s not clear, the back of the donkey says “Dusty’s A**”. Apparently the donkey, named Old Silver Dollar, has had about 300 burritos today, which I can’t imagine is healthy for him.
Flair sends Jeff to do it instead but Jarrett says no way. Dustin gets beaten down but here’s daddy for the save. The villains send Dusty into the barricade and go over towards the donkey. Dustin makes another save and Flair does indeed kiss Silver Dollar to end the show. I get the idea here but wouldn’t Flair being made to do what was implied all night be more embarrassing? This was funny enough but it was a downgrade in a way.
Overall Rating: C+. You have to keep in mind that this show is basically part one of a series finale. On that front, it wrapped up several stories though I’m still curious to see if they tell us who the attacker was. The wrestling here was up and down as has become the standard in WCW with a lot of the problem still being Rick Steiner putting on another horrible match and dragging the show down with him. Overall though, this was an easy night to sit through as they’re just flat out saying they’re done after next week.
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