Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: December 22, 2014
Last week’s show was the Christmas episode, which has been little more than a dull show with a big main event for years, but the common expectations seemed to be the greatest show of all time, because wrestling fans have short attention spans. Other than that though, Hogan is here as the guest host, Ho Ho Hogan. Let’s get to it.
Hogan opened things up as Santa Claus. I’m really hoping this is better than Santa With Muscles, which really was a disaster, even by Hulk movie standards. That being said, Hulk Hogan as Santa……might be the most amazing thing in the history of ever. Anyway, Hogan made some matches which we’ll get to later, but John Cena interrupted him for the big hero buddy shot.
Cena sang Let It Go. I’m going to pause to let you think about that for a few seconds now. Cena actually praised Rollins for beating him fair and square last week, which is a very cool line to hear. It’s a good rub for Seth because he did in fact win the match without breaking any rules. He wanted Rollins again tonight, so Seth came out for basically the exact same promo Cena has heard for a year or so: go away because it’s my time. Think about it: for the last year, what have you heard said to Cena besides that or “come to the dark side”? Rollins did his usual whining about the Authority and the obvious match was made for the opener.
The match was good as usual, with Cena winning via overcoming the odds. I’m fine with this, as Rollins got his big win the previous week. There isn’t much to say about this one, which is usually the case about good matches. Rollins losing isn’t a problem because a top star like John Cena shouldn’t be losing clean (or semi-clean) to almost anyone. Seth beat Cena last week with all the cheating and that’s all he ever needed to do.
Fandango beat Jack Swagger clean in about two minutes. This one was more annoying than anything else, but the more I think about it, the less there is to get mad about. At the end of the day, Fandango isn’t going to go anywhere. He’s a one idea character who has only gotten the attention he’s gotten because of how he speaks and the good looking women that dance with him. He isn’t going to become a big star or anything more than a midcarder because, barring changing a lot of things about him, he’s about reached his peak.
That brings us to Swagger, who does have room to grow, which is what got on my nerves about him losing. The more I think about it though, the less annoyed I am. Swagger may have room to grow, but he’s been so damaged over the last few years that there’s just no saving him, at least not without a major repackaging. The guy just isn’t going to get any better with this character because he’s been branded as a loser by the fans. That’s almost impossible to come back from and I don’t see it happening with him either.
R-Truth beat Adam Rose in less than a minute. Rose laid out the Bunny post match for what felt like his official heel turn.
Here’s the thing with Rose: he never should have been anything more than the modern day Godfather. He comes out to open a house show, talks about what a fun party this is, gets challenged by some low level heel (Titus, Slater, you get the idea), beats him in like two minutes and dances off while the crowd is fired up and ready to have a good time. That alone should have kept Rose employed for……oh I’d say three years at minimum.
But instead, they decided to give him a character, which hasn’t gone anywhere since it started. It seemed for a bit like they were focusing on the Bunny for awhile, but then that stopped being a thing for about a month and was seemingly dropped. Now no one cares about Rose and the guy that should have been one of the easiest opening acts ever has taken one of the dumbest heel turns I can remember in a long time. In other words, as usual, WWE doesn’t get the idea that some people have a spot and shouldn’t leave that spot no matter what.
Roman Reigns beat Big Show by countout in a quick match. This was just to set up their big showdown later in the future, even though I don’t know of many people who want to see it. People complain about Reigns not being ready, and this is a good example as to why. He’s being dragged down by this feud with Big Show that no one cares about, meaning he isn’t getting to grow.
Big Show continues to be this guy that is just thrown into main event level feuds without ever winning one, but in theory this is why they’ve had him look so dominant for so long recently. For some reason WWE thinks people care about Big Show, because so many people have responded to his recent efforts. The problem with him is simple: when you put EVERYONE over, putting someone else over doesn’t mean as much. Just ask Mick Foley or Chris Jericho.
Ambrose still wants to beat up Wyatt. They’ve reached the point where they’re fighting because they’ve been fighting for months and that’s rarely a good thing.
Natalya made Brie Bella tap out in the usual Bella match. I guess they’re trying to make Nikki the next big deal, but my goodness it’s not working. But hey, some unknown critic likes Total Divas so that’s something right?
In another match where the writers aren’t thinking, Goldust and Stardust lost to Los Matadores and El Torito. Let me repeat that: the heels lost a handicap match to the good guys. In wrestling, the idea behind a face, most of the time at least, is that he’s fighting an uphill battle. Austin was fighting McMahon’s money and power, Hogan was fighting the entire Heenan Family, Los Matadores and Torito were fighting with a three man to two advantage. It goes against the basic logic of wrestling and should have made Goldust and Stardust faces. I’m supposed to boo someone who lost in a disadvantage? That makes no sense.
Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title over Luke Harper in the same match they’ve had half a dozen times now. I like the matches, but at the same time it’s really hard to care about something we’ve done that many times. Other than that, I didn’t like the spot where Harper no sold a superkick. That’s similar to the stuff from Japan that drives me crazy, though to be fair this was one time instead of five in a single match. At least it was only once, but I really hope that doesn’t become a thing in WWE.
Lana and Rusev were in Piper’s Pit until Ryback came out wearing a big bow. Piper was about as pointless of a cameo as I’ve ever seen here as he served no purpose other than to say he had a surprise for Rusev and bring out Ryback. He wasn’t even funny or serious to make it even less interesting.
Divas, bad match, moving on. The good girls won if you care for some reason.
Jimmy Uso and the Miz had the same match they’ve had a few times now. I still care about the story and want to see where it goes though, which is more than I can say about most of the things going on in WWE today. Nothing is going to matter until Naomi gets directly involved, and that needs to happen sooner rather than later.
The main event was another long match between Ambrose and Wyatt with Dean hammering on Bray for over twenty minutes before losing at the very end. They went with the Christmas presents idea here and opened up a bunch of weapons to make this a fun match. That being said, just like Ziggler vs. Harper, how many times can I sit here and watch these guys fight? The good thing is that Ambrose is still over, but that’s only going to last so long.
Overall Raw wasn’t nearly as bad as people say it was, but it’s still nothing all that great. The good stuff was good, but when they start dogging it with the filler that no one cares about, this show can fall down through a hole that it never recovers from. The three good matches more than carry it to a passing grade, but my goodness some of this stuff, mainly involving the Divas, was incredibly lame. They need to get to Rumble season, which has potential to be awesome, especially if Reigns isn’t a lock to win the whole thing. Acceptable, but still not great or even solid show this week.
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The main two options here should be obvious, but the honorable mentions are interesting too.
I think you know what the two finalists here are, so we’ll look at the others first.
To begin with, Lucha Underground is freaking awesome. What felt like a standard indy company with some fairly well known names has turned into one of the most enjoyable wrestling shows of the week. They’ve tried something totally different and the entire production is so different from what you get in WWE and TNA. Lucha Underground actually feels like an alternative and that’s something we haven’t gotten in wrestling for a LONG time.
CM Punk walking out wound up being the story of the year and the reaction when he first left was about as shocked as you were going to get. Immediately people started asking questions such as why, how long, why, real or fake and many others which weren’t quite as intelligent. It’s been nearly a year since Punk walked out and it’s amazing that it’s still one of the biggest stories going. Punk has mastered the art of self promotion and is making a fortune for himself as we all wonder what he’s going to do next.
Quick mention of the New Age Outlaws winning the Tag Team Titles. Seriously, who would have ever believed that two years ago?
The Shield breaking up was a great moment that I questioned at the time, but Rollins has blown this so far out of the water that I’m very happy with where things are going from here. The surprise when Rollins nailed Ambrose with that chair set up a great feud, and even though the story didn’t make a ton of sense, it was one heck of a shock. You had to know Shield was going to split one day, but I think most of us weren’t expecting it for a very long time.
Daniel Bryan not being in the Rumble was more of a REALLY??? moment than a surprise, but it deserves a quick mention.
I would say Paige debuting and winning the title the night after Wrestlemania, but I had that from a few weeks out.
Dolph Ziggler being a sole survivor was a surprise, but a bigger surprise of that match was Cena being knocked out. Coming into the match, a lot of people, myself included, were banking on Cena overcoming the odds to win the match and send the Authority away for awhile. It was a very nice surprise to see the curve thrown in with WWE giving Ziggler the rub of a lifetime instead of going with the same idea again.
Now that we have all that out of the way, let’s get to the real surprise of the year: JTG FINALLY GOT RELEASED! That guy somehow kept a job for SIX YEARS in his second stint alone, despite not winning a televised match since early 2012. Him having a job was a running joke online and I think most fans believed WWE forgot he was still getting paid. The idea of him actually getting fired was shocking and everyone shed a tear when it finally happened.
See? I do actually think when I write these things.
The real options here were Sting FINALLY debuting in WWE and the Streak ending. I was tempted to go with a tie here, but at the end of the day, one of these is a bigger surprise for me.
The Streak is something we’ve lived with for over twenty years. I remember being on the radio once for a predictions contest and saying “Undertaker wins. It’s Wrestlemania.” That’s all I ever needed to say because that’s all that was ever going to happen. Over the years, WWE had teased us a few times with some very near falls (most of which came off of Sweet Chin Music) but it never actually happened. This became an issue in the Wrestlemania XXVII and XXIX matches, as I would sit there and roll my eyes at the near falls because it just wasn’t going to happen.
Well this year it actually did happen. Brock Lesnar laid out the Undertaker with a third F5 and the Streak actually ended. I mean….it actually ended. There was no changing the ending, there was no interference, there was no changing the decision. The Streak actually ended and people weren’t sure how to feel. Some were angry, some were sad, but almost everyone was surprised.
On the other hand, we have Sting debuting. Since the day WCW ended, people have been waiting for Sting to finally show up in WWE. He was the one that got away from WWE (which for some reason means he isn’t good enough to get into Meltzer’s Hall of Fame, but a promoter in Argentina could. That still gets on my nerves.) but he FINALLY showed up at Survivor Series earlier this year. It was quite the moment and did everything it was supposed to and more. Also, major points to HHH for taking one heck of a Death Drop.
However, there’s one thing that holds it back for me: that video game commercial.
Earlier in the year, WWE reached an agreement with Sting to appear in WWE2K15, setting up an awesome video where a full orchestra in Sting masks played his music and Sting turned around to face the camera to end the video. It worked perfectly and made me want to but the game. Granted that would be stupid as I don’t have a video game console but you get the idea.
The problem though is it made me realize that Sting debuting was a matter of time. It was no longer about would Sting debut, but when would he debut. Now, it was still a major surprise that he finally showed up, but I knew it was coming at some point or another.
I can’t say that about the Streak. I truly believed that the Streak was never going to die, but I saw it with my own eyes. The reaction to the moment was pure shock and awe, which is the point of a surprise. The Streak being broken is the Surprise of the Year, and it’s one of the biggest of all time.
Smackdown – December 26, 2014: Oh Brother
Smackdown Date: December 26, 2014
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Michael Cole
It’s the show after Christmas which means that Hulk Hogan is still in charge tonight. All that means is he’ll make a match and say BROTHER a lot, but that’s at least better than some of the previous bosses this company has had. Other than that we’re still in the dull period before they start caring about the Rumble so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Hogan walking through the same Christmas set from Raw to open things up. I really wish they would mix those things up a bit more often. Anymore it’s just the same set from Raw but with blue as the main color. Switch things up a bit and make Smackdown feel more unique. Maybe they’ll do that when the show moves back to Thursdays.
Anyway, Hogan has something to tell us brother (1), he’s in charge tonight brother (2). We hear some of his fondest memories from being on Smackdown, including winning the Tag Team Titles with Edge, who will be hosting Raw with Christian on Monday. That’s another thing I wouldn’t mind seeing more of: plug those announcements. It’s simple and quick yet gets the word out there.
Hogan is about to go on but Rollins and the Stooges cut him off. Seth calls him a champion, a Hall of Famer and the embodiment of Wrestlemania. He asks for and receives a handshake before saying if Hogan keeps it up, they might start calling him the Seth Rollins of the 80s. Hogan may have been great, but he doesn’t belong in Rollins’ ring anymore. That’s a bit too far for our American hero, who says he’s running Smackdown tonight. Hogan: “So if you don’t mind brother (3)…” Rollins: “Well I do mind brother. AND DON’T YOU BROTHER ME!”
Seth talks about how great the Authority was for business but now they’ve been replaced by a sideshow act like Hogan. As the future of WWE, this is Seth’s business and he’d like Hulk to officially endorse him. After that, Hogan can get out of this ring because it’s almost 2015. Hulk isn’t sure Rollins is getting out of this ring alive if he keeps talking like that. He can think of several people who could lead this company into the future, like Dolph Ziggler for instance.
Cue Dolph, who calls Rollins the future. If you don’t believe that, just ask Seth because that’s all he talks about. Rollins says Ziggler just doesn’t get it. The future isn’t just a popularity contest and Rollins should just Curb Stomp him right in front of Hogan. How does that sound brother? Ziggler has been curb stomped before and keeps getting up, so what does Seth want to do about it brother?
Here’s Big Show to say that sometime you have to just use force, so now he’s going to come out here and knock out Hogan and Ziggler. This brings out Reigns who tells Show not to come through those ropes unless he wants to get hit in the mouth again, right in front of his wife and kids. Hogan makes the tag match main event and actually doesn’t drop a ninth brother (yes I counted) of the segment.
Kane vs. Ryback
Jobber entrance for Kane. We see Ryback sending Rusev running on Monday before things get going. Ryback fires off to start but runs into a boot to the…..shoulder I think to put him down. So Kane can’t even sell for ten seconds now? Cole crushes several dreams by confirming that Rose and the Bunny have split, partially due to the tombstones from Kane. Ryback grabs a spinebuster and loads up the Meat Hook but we’ve got Russians. He’s still able to escape the chokeslam though and hits the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 2:10. Now THAT is what Kane should be used for more often than not.
Rusev gets in the ring for a staredown but Kane comes back in to chokeslam Ryback, setting up the Accolade. I’m still not sure who wins this feud, even though it should be obvious. That’s always a good sign.
After a break, Hogan runs into the Russians to tell Rusev that the US Title is on the line tonight. Giving champions almost no notice to defend their titles is the American way you see, BROTHER. And SISTER!
Alicia Fox vs. Naomi
They start fast with Naomi nipping up, only to eat a kick to the face for two. More speedy kicks get two for Naomi as Miz is watching from the back. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alicia and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Naomi heads to the apron for a kind of Twist of Fate onto the top rope. Naomi gets tired of carrying Fox and kicks her in the head, setting up the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:18. She even throws in counting the pin along with the referee because she’s kind of awesome.
Rating: C. I’m so glad that Naomi is getting an actual story instead of the usual stuff we’ve been seeing with the Divas for years. She’s an athletic freak and, in a description I wish I had thought of, the female Shelton Benjamin. No one in the division can keep up with her and unfortunately it means that WWE doesn’t know what to do with her. It’s good to see that they’ve given her some kind of a story though, because far too often the Divas’ stories revolve around just wanting the title or some catty story that makes them all look ridiculous.
We recap the matches Hogan set up on Raw.
Jimmy and Naomi have a badly scripted conversation about Jimmy beating Miz later tonight.
R-Truth vs. Adam Rose
Rematch from Monday where the Bunny was beaten up by Rose after he lost to Truth. Therefore, Rose comes out sans Bunny and doesn’t even do the fall, waving the Rosebuds off instead. Rose is much more aggressive here and takes Truth into the corner for some mule kick stomping. A nice snap suplex gets two on Truth and we hit the chinlock.
Phillips tries to bring up the incident on Halloween where Truth said the Bunny was the star of the team to set up this mini feud. Since that’s doing his job and keeping up continuity, JBL just buries him in response, saying how stupid the whole thing is. Back up and Truth makes his comeback, only to be sent into the post to set up the Party Foul for the pin at 2:07. Rose actually plays a decent heel, but his in ring work is still average at best.
Here are Rusev and Lana for a chat before the title defense. It’s a short one this time, basically saying Rusev will crush anyone before he faces. Cue his opponent.
US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev
It’s kind of amazing how Ambrose keeps getting these major matches despite barely ever winning anything. They take turns stomping each other down in the corner to start until Dean ties him in the ropes for chops and the running dropkick. A suicide dive drops Rusev again and Dean grabs a jackknife cover of all things for two.
The fans chant USA as Rusev runs Dean over and drops rapid fire elbows ala Hulk Hogan back in the day. You would think that the Russian imitating an AMERICAN would satiate the fans chanting USA but it doesn’t quite work that way. A chinlock stays on even shorter than usual but Rusev ties him in the ropes and hits a running Vader clothesline to the back knocking him out to the floor as we take a break.
Back with the champ holding a nerve hold before the fall away slam gets two. Ambrose actually escapes the Accolade attempt and avoids a charge, sending Rusev head first into the post. The Rebound Clothesline sets up the standing elbow (love that move) for two and Ambrose’s tongue is hanging out. They head outside with the champion going into the barricade, only to have Wyatt interfere for the DQ at 13:00.
Rating: C+. These matches are like a vacation: they’re fun while they last but you know you’re going to be disappointed by the ending. There was no doubt that it was going to end by countout or DQ because that’s how these things end in WWE. It’s a problem with how the company books its shows anymore but unfortunately it’s something you have to live with. As usual Dean looks good, but when was the last time he had a fall on a show that actually mattered? And no, Tribute to the Troops doesn’t matter.
Rusev leaves and Bray throws Dean over the timekeeper’s area, only to have Dean come up throwing chairs. About five are thrown into the ring and Bray bails as well. I have no idea where they’re going with this, but it’s modern WWE and a major gimmick match doesn’t end anything anymore.
Miz vs. Jimmy Uso
Cole plugs a new app where you’re a backstage assistant in WWE and solve problems which have nothing to do with anything happening in the ring. Levels include identifying a spot as fatty tissue, yelling at someone for not memorizing a script, trying to figure out what the heck the commentators are talking about and finding stronger ear plugs so HHH doesn’t hear the BORING chants.
Miz kicks him down to start but we get a quick chase scene around the ring. JBL, of course, is talking about fast food mascots. Jimmy can’t hit the running Umaga attack but eats a right hand from Jey. Naturally, that’s not a DQ. Back in and Miz begs off to offer more mainstream connections. The fans aren’t really happy with the match stopping for nearly a minute of Miz standing there with his hand out saying “come on let’s be Usos”, so Jimmy hits two superkicks and the Superfly Splash for the pin at 3:08.
Rating: D. I’m liking the idea of the Usos having some singles matches. Of course it shouldn’t lead anywhere because splitting them up for singles runs would be a terrible idea, but I like that they’re not just doing the same tag match every week. Imagine that: trying something else to keep things fresh for the bigger shows. There’s so much in WWE that is going right but at the same time the big problems are just so wrong.
Ascension is coming next week.
Goldust looks at an electric orb and sees that the new year will be……something we don’t get to hear as the ball shocks him. Stardust comes in to say it’s going to be his year.
Seth Rollins/Big Show vs. Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler and Rollins get things going as Cole recaps Survivor Series gets an achievement for recapping Survivor Series for the 200th time. A quick hiptoss has Rollins down so it’s off to the power guys. Reigns can’t get things moving too fast thanks to a shoulder from Big Show. Like the masterful heel that he is, Rollins comes in when Roman is down to stomp away. Reigns is able to get back up though due to the power of wetter hair, allowing for the hot tag off to Ziggler.
The Stooges get involved, and somehow don’t get caught, by tripping up Ziggler as we take a break. Back with Dolph fighting out of a chinlock, only to be catapulted into the corner. The fans display their ventriloquism skills by chanting BIG SLOW without moving their mouths….or anything else for that matter. Reigns smiles at Show as the chant is getting annoying in a hurry. A few fans chant for Reigns but they’re quickly drowned out by BIG SLOW.
Show misses a charge and eats a Fameasser, setting up the hot tag to Reigns. Mercury breaks up the Superman Punch and Seth nails the low superkick for two. The fans chant for Reigns (again with the ventriloquism) and he backdrops out of a buckle bomb attempt. The chokeslam doesn’t work either and Dolph levels Big Show with a superkick, setting up the spear for the pin.
Nah I’m kidding. You know Big Show isn’t going to get pinned when there’s some hotshot with a future to take the fall for him. Rollins sends both opponents to the floor and suicide dives Reigns. Back in and Ziggler breaks up the springboard knee, setting up the spear to Rollins for the pin at 13:13.
Rating: C. The match was your standard main event tag (with another bad ending but I guess that huge fall over Show is supposed to make Reigns) but the chants were the most interesting part. Of course they were piped in, but I find it interesting that they seem more interested in playing down Big Show than playing up Reigns.
They were similar to the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants: yeah they’re against Cena, but they’re not for his opponent. The chants made this sound like it was all about Big Show with the few Reigns chants only lasting a few seconds compared to the near minute of Show chants. I’m not sure what to make of that.
Overall Rating: C-. Yet another worthless episode of Smackdown with whichever main eventers we have on hand being thrown into a tag team main event. The Ryback vs. Rusev showdown still looks good, though I’m not sure they can stretch it out for another four weeks. Other than that, there really isn’t much to talk about here. It’s another basic episode of the same show they’ve done every Friday for weeks now and I get less and less enthusiastic about it every time. Oh wait Kane actually took a fall. He’s been getting a bit better about that.
Results
Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock
Naomi b. Alicia Fox – Split legged moonsault
Adam Rose b. R-Truth – Party Foul
Dean Ambrose b. Rusev via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered
Jimmy Uso b. The Miz – Superfly Splash
Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Spear to Rollins
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – December 22, 2014: Out The Same Way You Came In
Monday Night Raw Date: December 22, 2014
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the Christmas special tonight with special guest host Hulk Hogan. That’s about as good of a name as you’re going to get and maybe we can finally see that Santa With Muscles sequel. I can’t imagine much of note happens tonight and odds are we wrap things up with a big fun tag match. Let’s get to it.
There’s a big Christmas set with trees and gifts.
Piper’s Pit returns tonight with Lana and Rusev, plus Big Show vs. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight.
Here’s Hulk Hogan as Santa Claus to get things going. The fans chant Hogan but he says it’s Ho Ho Hogan. Tonight he’s giving presents to all of the Superstars and the WWE Universe, including the two matches already mentioned. Before he can hit the catchphrase though, here’s John Cena in red and yellow. Cena says that if there’s one man as iconic as Santa Claus, it’s Hulk Hogan.
For some reason, Cena starts singing Let It Go before throwing it to a clip of the end of last week’s show. The fans want Lesnar, and that’s exactly what Cena wants too. Cena says most people would say the decision should be reversed, but those are the people that get coal in their stockings. Last week he lost to Rollins fair and square, but now he wants a match with Rollins tonight. This brings out Seth Rollins to say the Curb Stomp from last week is why Cena can’t see what’s going on. No one wants to hear Cena’s voice anymore.
Rollins isn’t here to run down their careers because they’re both legends, but it’s Seth’s time. Hogan shouldn’t be in charge tonight because this should still be the Authority’s show. He goes on and on about how this is his time and how Cena was lucky to escape. If Hogan doesn’t grant Rollins his wish of bringing back the Authority, things will go bad for Santa. Cena tells him to shut up and turns down the Authority offer. Hogan instead just makes Cena vs. Rollins for next, thereby rendering the last few minutes basically worthless.
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Cena knocks him to the floor to start, drawing the Stooges up onto the apron to give Rollins his first opening. A Blockbuster gets two for Seth and Cena is in early trouble. Rollins knocks him into the corner and hits a running forearm before it’s off to a front facelock. John shoves him off so Rollins grabs the briefcase as a ruse so Mercury can get in a right hand as we go to a break.
We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock and firing off the shoulders, only to have Rollins duck to send Cena outside. There’s the suicide dive to drive Cena into the barricade but he avoids the springboard knee. A low superkick gets two instead but Cena tries a quick AA. Rollins lands on his feet but takes the ProtoBomb. Rollins blocks the STF and nails an enziguri to put both guys down.
Cena comes back by catching Rollins in a Batista Bomb of all things for two and it’s another stalemate. They slug it out with Cena hitting another ProtoBomb and the Shuffle, only to have the Stooges offer a distraction. He backdrops Rollins onto both of them before throwing him back inside for the top rope Fameasser. Cena loads up the top rope AA but gets countered into the running Buckle Bomb for a VERY close two.
The Curb Stomp is countered into the STF but Rollins is quickly in the ropes, only to have Cena drag him back into the middle. Cue the Stooges for the save but Cena beats them up and hits a double AA. The briefcase shot misses and Cena plants Rollins with the AA for the pin at 15:48.
Rating: B. I was hoping for a few more minutes here to make this great but it has to settle for just really good. These two definitely have chemistry and Rollins’ day is going to come soon. He already has the win over Cena last week in the big gimmick match and that’s the one people are going to remember. Very good match here.
Kane stands in front of a wreath and says bah humbug. Literally that’s it.
Jack Swagger vs. Fandango
Neither guy gets an entrance. Jack easily takes Fandango down to start but can’t get the Patriot Lock. A big boot puts Fandango down and a clothesline does the same with the fans not all that interested in what Swagger is doing. The Vader Bomb is almost blocked so the second attempt connects for two. Fandango goes to the apron for some kicks to the head to knock Swagger down and the guillotine legdrop gets the pin at 2:02.
Dolph Ziggler says the ladder match at TLC was one of the hardest matches he’s ever had. Tonight he’s defending against Harper again and knows that Luke is a nightmare come to life. He’s going to give the fans what they want tonight.
Adam Rose vs. R-Truth
The Bunny is still in a neck brace. Feeling out process to start until Rose wants to dance, allowing Truth to roll him up for the pin at 58 seconds.
The Bunny checks on Rose post match and Adam beats him up for I think the third time. He shouts at the Rosebuds and knees the Bunny’s head into the steps. Rose rips off the neck brace and storms past the Rosebuds as he leavs.
Edge and Christian host next week.
Hulk Hogan will be running Smackdown this Friday.
Big Show vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns easily takes him into the corner to start but Big Show easily picks him up and drops Reigns on the top rope. A shoulder gets two and Show sends him into the corner to keep dominating. We hit the chinlock as the fans are already chanting boring. Roman fights back up with a Samoan drop but the Superman Punch is blocked. Instead a dropkick to the leg takes Show down and the Apron Kick staggers him to the floor. Now the Superman Punch knocks Show onto the announcers’ table as Reigns is all fired up. He’s so fired up that he rolls in for the countout win at 4:22.
Rating: D. The match was dull for the most part but at least Big Show didn’t win. I’m assuming this keeps going because a win over Big Show is supposed to mean something, even though EVERYONE has beaten him over the years. I’d assume we get the blowoff at the first Raw of the year or the Rumble and it needs to end with total Reigns domination.
Dean Ambrose says he’s been a good boy all year. He went to the Mall of America to see Santa Claus today but had to settle for a security guard with a white beard. All he wants is Bray Wyatt, because every time a bell rings, Bray Wyatt gets a beating.
Brie Bella vs. Natalya
Fallout from last week where Natalya made Brie tap in a tag match. Natalya quickly takes her down to start but stops to say something to Kidd, allowing Brie to take her down off the ropes. Two Brie Mode running knees to a seated Natalya are good for two and we hit a chinlock as this just keeps going. Back up and Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but gets small packaged only to roll through into one of her own for the pin at 3:19.
Rating: D. I don’t freaking care. Seriously, I just do not care. I like Total Divas but dear goodness they’ve killed whatever interest I have in the Divas division with this Bellas vs. the World stuff. Again, basic wrestling logic says when you have someone vs. the World, THE SOMEONE SHOULD BE THE FREAKING GOOD GUY!
Natalya knocks Nikki off the apron and holds up the title.
Ascension is coming.
Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores/El Torito
Before the match, we hear the Dusts talking about giving their opponents red noses. Los Matadores come out to Christmas music and Torito is now a reindeer. Stardust wants Torito to start and I guess that’s going to be legal. The bull sends him outside to start and dives into an armdrag. Back in and it’s off to Goldust vs. Diego, with the masked man grabbing a sunset flip for two.
Goldust hammers him down and slaps on a chinlock before Stardust snaps the neck across the top rope. Stardust comes in off the top but dives into a dropkick, allowing for the hot tag to Diego. Everything breaks down and the bull tags himself in. Goldust spins Torito around and accidentally hits his brother, allowing Fernando to hit a Backstabber, followed by a Lionsault from Torito for the pin at 3:40.
Rating: D. So let me get this straight. We make the heels underdogs by putting them in a handicap match, only to have them lose to the kids’ comedy character, likely signaling the split of the team who has had a career resurgence over the last year. I’m fine with the eventual split, but could you please THINK on your way there?
Luke Harper says he likes to take this time of year, so he’s going to give Ziggler a beating and take the Intercontinental Title.
Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler
Harper kicks him in the face before the bell to knock the champion out to the floor. A BIG suicide dive takes Ziggler down and Harper loads up a powerbomb, only to settle for the spinning Boss Man Slam. Back in and Ziggler says ring the bell so Harper superkicks him down and hits the Batista Bomb for two. Ziggler tries to fight up but gets catapulted throat first into the bottom rope as we take a break.
Back with Harper knocking Dolph to the floor again. Harper blocks a superkick and slams the champ face first onto the announcers’ table for two. Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash to give Luke two more and a pumphandle throw gets the same. A Michinoku Driver gets the third straight near fall but Ziggler grabs a sunset flip for two of his own.
Back up and the discus lariat is blocked by a superkick but Harper keeps going and lariats Ziggler for two. Harper’s powerbomb is countered into a facebuster and Dolph gets two more off the Fameasser. Another Fameasser is countered and Dolph hits two more superkicks, followed by the Zig Zag to retain at 11:26.
Rating: B. And they’re DONE. Seriously, there is no need for these two to have that same match again for at least six months. I feel like I’ve seen them fight about 50 times in the last month and a half and that’s not a good thing. Yeah the matches have been fun, but it’s the same exact formula every single time. I mean, it’s not exactly Sting vs. Vader out there so move Ziggler on to someone else.
Ziggler dedicates his win to the fans and says no one is taking the title from him.
It’s time for Piper’s Pit with special guests, Lana and Rusev. Lana starts fast, talking about how stupid America is for thinking Santa Claus brings them presents. Piper freaks out (of course) and says you can believe anything you want in America. Lana says then believe in this, and shows us a clip of Rusev taking out Ryback on Smackdown. Rusev says that’s proof he can crush Ryback so the fans chant FEED ME MORE. Maybe Piper would like to be crushed too? Piper say she’s Hot Rod and brings out Ryback with a bow around his chest. The fight is on in the aisle with Ryback dominating but Rusev bails before the Meat Hook.
The announcers list off some very specific areas in which USA is topping the ratings.
We recap the opening segment and Cena vs. Rollins.
Alicia Fox/Emma/Naomi vs. Paige/Cameron/Summer Rae
This is a Santa’s Little Helpers match but Paige doesn’t seem interested in the Christmas theme. To give you an idea of what I’m sitting through here, Emma starts by hitting Summer with her hair. Paige gets a LOUD chant to start before it’s off to Cameron for a Codebreaker for two. Off to Page for a headbutt and a big reaction from the crowd. Lawler brings up Xanta Claus which JBL declares the worst thing ever. Oh come on now it wasn’t THAT bad.
Paige stays on Emma with a chinlock until Emma fights up for a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Naomi to FINALLY do something interesting as she flips over the top and Stuns Cameron onto the ropes. Everything breaks down with Paige cleaning house until Alicia hits a kind of reverse Fameasser to pin Cameron at 4:22.
Rating: D-. Please…..make it stop.
Ascension comes next week.
Miz vs. Jey Uso
We get a pre tape before the match with Miz offering Mizdow a chance to sing, only to have time run out. Thankfully Cole is there to explain to us that the fans are booing Miz and cheering Mizdow. Miz does the pointing back and forth thing to start the BOO/YAY chant, basically making Cole’s explanation even more worthless.
Miz grabs a headlock to start but gets thrown to the floor, setting up a dive from Jey to take Miz down. Back in and Miz drives a knee into Jey’s ribs before slapping on a chinlock. Jey fights back up with a Samoan drop but has to roll out of the Finale. The Figure Four is countered but Miz rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 3:31.
Rating: D+. Like most of the bad matches tonight, this didn’t have time to go anywhere. The story is still there and it’s still interesting, but they need more than three minutes to set something up. I do like that Miz actually got a win though as it at least keeps the story moving forward.
Preview clip of the Mick Foley episode of Monday Night War. Original air date: September 9.
Here’s Bray to sing It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. He notices how people surround themselves with everyone they love during the holidays. Maybe they do that because it makes them feel safe. Do the people here tonight feel safe? Safety is an illusion that guards you from the other world outside your window. In that world, there is no Santa Claus or sugar plums dancing in your head. There is only evil, pain and sorry. That is Bray Wyatt’s world and he is the king. You can help him create this world by looking to the sky and following the buzzards.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
Street fight. Dean hammers away in the corner to start and we have a pile of presents at ringside. JBL incorrectly says we haven’t seen a Boot Camp match in thirty years, ignoring the one we saw at Tribute to the Troops between Shawn and HHH in 2005. Yeah that’s a few years back, but JBL was on the show and apparently helped organize it. Anyway Dean takes him to the floor and throws him into a Christmas tree.
Ambrose slams the tree into him but stops to open a present, finding a TV monitor. Thankfully it isn’t plugged in but Dean puts it back in the box anyway. Instead he finds a table with a bow on it but opts to hit a suicide dive (third one of the night) to drive Wyatt through some boxes. He loads up the table and wraps a wreath around his neck but Bray runs up the aisle. That’s fine with Dean who puts the wreath around Bray and nails him, before just chucking a box at Bray’s head.
Another package is opened to reveal a chair but Bray sends him off the stage and through a table as we take the last break of the night. We come back with a long tracking shot from the stage to the ring for a unique visual. Dean fights out of a chinlock but gets slammed down for two and put back in the hold. They head outside again wth the fans asking for ONE MORE TREE. Bray listens to them and sends Ambrose into a tree for a good reaction.
It’s candy cane kendo stick time with Bray nailing Ambrose in the chest over and over. Bray puts the stick in the corner like he did at TLC but Ambrose saves himself. Not that it matters as Wyatt NAILS him with a clothesline for two. Wyatt wedges a chair in the corner and of course goes head first into it. Dean erupts with chops and punches, followed by a bulldog to put Bray down.
The Rebounding Clothesline drops Wyatt again and a White Russian legsweep sets up the middle rope chair elbow for two. Now it’s ladder time but Bray Spiders up and Rock Bottoms Ambrose onto the ladder for a close two. Dean counters Sister Abigail and sends Bray into the ladder to take over again. The standing elbow from the ladder gets two more but Bray fights out of the pile of chairs. He sends Dean face first into the kendo stick in the corner for the pin at 21:24.
Rating: B-. Another good match between these two but just like Ziggler vs. Harper, I’m sick of seeing it. Mix the feuds up for a bit or even just swap the people out with Wyatt vs. Ziggler and Ambrose vs. Harper. I like Bray leaving with the win, but I’m over seeing these two fight anymore.
Naturally Dean sprays him with a fire extinguisher and elbows Bray through the table to end the show, meaning the feud will continue.
Overall Rating: C-. When this show phones it in, they can produce some of the least interesting stuff I’ve seen in a long time. The matches aren’t all terrible for the most part, but there’s just nothing to make me want to keep watching. Cena vs. Rollins, the Intercontinental Title match and the main event were entertaining enough, but the stuff between them dragged this through the floor. As I’ve said many times, the good was good but the bad was awful. Also, as almost always, cut 45 minutes of filler out of this and it’s WAY better. Short version: they’re closing out the year with the same issues they’ve had all year.
Results
John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment
Fandango b. Jack Swagger – Guillotine legdrop
R-Truth b. Adam Rose – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Big Show via countout
Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper – Zig Zag
Alicia Fox/Naomi/Emma b. Cameron/Paige/Summer Rae – Reverse Fameasser to Cameron
Miz b. Jey Uso – Rollup with a handful of tights
Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Wyatt threw Ambrose into a kendo stick
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
First up is the suddenly dominant Lashley. This was what WWE should have done with him for years: find the guy a mouthpiece and let him just hurt people. He’s a genetic freak that can wrestle on the mat, so let him do that instead of trying to make him a superhero. I never got why WWE wanted him to be a face when he has the personality of a turnip, but ever since he became a monster heel, he was one of the highlights of show.
Ethan Carter III is the same thing but as an intellectual heel instead of a monster. The guy went from being nothing in WWE to one of the best acts in TNA, very much in the same vein as Rick Rude back in 1991. Carter is going to be a player in TNA going forward and I could easily see him winning the World Title in the coming year.
The Dusts have gone from eh to one of the top teams in the company, though that’s not really saying much.
Seth Rollins started the year as the forgotten member of the Shield and became a strong contender for Wrestler of the Year. You couple that with more than holding his own on the mic and it’s hard to argue that he’s shot through the roof this year.
Tyson Kidd….the more I think about this one the less I buy into it. It’s not so much that he got better but more along the lines of his got pushed. He’s basically the same wrestler but with facts and cats. I like what I’m seeing out of him, but it’s not like he’s gotten insanely good overnight or anything.
We’ll give the Divas a shot and include Charlotte. She went from a borderline disaster to the woman who can actually look down on the rest of the NXT girls. I have no idea where this came from but suddenly her title defenses are one of the highlights of the big NXT shows, which I don’t think anyone was expecting. That’s definitely worth a nomination.
Finally, you have to mention Tyler Breeze. The guy went from a goon to tearing the house down every time he was in a big match. That match he had against Zayn at Takeover was outstanding and he’s nailed so much of the character all year long. This is one of the best surprises all year and he’s gone through the roof.
At the end of the day though, I have to go with Rollins. I would have bet on him being Kofi Kingston but he’s looking more like a Randy Orton every day. He’s always had talent, but there are a dozen guys on the roster who have untapped skills. To go from the potential he had to realizing that potential is a huge improvement and worthy of the award.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: December 15, 2014
It’s finally time to start the build to the Royal Rumble and Lesnar vs. Cena III, which no one really wants to see but WWE has decided that it’s what we’re getting and we’re going to like it. In theory Lesnar is going to be here tonight so maybe things can get going. TLC was just a step above a disaster but there were a few bright spots so hopefully this picks things up a bit. Let’s get to it.
Jericho opened the show and talked about how awesome the crowd was. He wanted his Slammy back from Fandango, who stole it last week when Jericho wasn’t there. Instead he got Paul Heyman, who thinks he should be in charge tonight. Jericho said Heyman owes him $200 from a Best of Jericho tape in ECW. This brought them to Seth Rollins, who came out and said he beat Cena last night but had another win stolen from him, just like Sting did at Survivor Series.
Cena came out, said Rollins hasn’t learned to be a man yet, and made a cage match for later. Jericho wasn’t done yet though and made a match between himself and Heyman with the fans picking the stipulation (no holds barred, extreme rules or street fight). I think you all know where this is going, likely because this took nearly twenty five minutes to get through.
Big Show and Harper beat Rowan and Ziggler when Big Show knocked out Rowan. Again. At least it wasn’t a champion for a change.
Big E. apparently sweats on everyone. That’s the big idea about the character. Let that one sink in for a bit. Later in the night the New Day would beat the Dusts in a long match where they were clearly just filling in time.
Alicia Fox and Natalya beat the Bellas when Natalya made Brie tap out. The only thing of note here was Kidd checking on Nikki after the match.
Rusev and Lana were the guests on the Highlight Reel where Jericho implied that they wanted each other in a funny bit. Rusev actually showed some emotion here and it was actually working. The important part here was Ryback came out as Rusev’s next challenger. I could totally get behind that feud.
Kane destroyed Adam Rose in about a minute. The Bunny took a tombstone for good measure. This was a way to kill a few minutes.
Heyman and Jericho’s match never happened as we got the obvious ending of Brock returning to destroy Jericho. The best part though was Heyman saying he had no tricks up his sleeve, meaning he isn’t the Jew in jiujitsu.
Fandango came out to gloat but Reigns returned and knocked him out. Show tried to come out as well for revenge but Reigns Superman Punched him off the apron. This was how to make Reigns look like a monster and it worked really well.
Jimmy Uso beat Miz in an upset which made sense. After a break, Miz offered Naomi a spot on MizTV on Smackdown to continue the story.
Rollins still wants the Authority back.
The main event was a good cage match between Cena and Rollins which ran nearly twenty five minutes. There were several near escapes and near falls, but after Cena hit an AA from the top, Lesnar came out and destroyed him with German suplexes. Heyman shook Rollins’ hand, making it unclear of how long they had been working together, if at all. Rollins hit a Curb Stomp for the win.
Overall this show really needed the hour cut out. You could clip out five to ten minutes from the opening, the Kane vs. Rose stuff, a lot of New Day vs. the Dusts and some other stuff here and there to get this down to two hours and make it a very solid show. Unfortunately this wound up being the usual overdone episode of Raw which weighs down all the good things they had going on.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review: Tables Ladders and Chairs 2014
We’re up to another show which feels like they’re trying to drain as much blood from the stone of Survivor Series that they can squeeze out. Basically it’s a bunch of singles matches from people who were on the main event teams with gimmicks, more than one of which just do not need to happen. Also, since Lesnar shows up like once every three months, the main event is for Cena’s #1 contendership, but only Cena can leave with it. Is there any reason why this wasn’t the best looking show on paper? Let’s get to it.
The pre-show saw the New Day beat Goldust and Stardust. Would you really expect anything else happening here? That’s really all there is to say here, but I don’t mind the New Day so far. Kofi and Langston have talent and giving them anything to do is a thing idea for them.
The opening match was Luke Harper losing the Intercontinental Title back to Dolph Ziggler in a ladder match in Ziggler’s hometown. This was using the idea of “hit each other really hard with some big ladders” for about fifteen minutes and then have Ziggler win. It’s a great choice for a brawl, but here’s the problem with opening a show with something like this: it’s going to be hard to top. Someday I need to write up a piece on how to structure a card.
Anyway, Ziggler got the title back and that really shouldn’t have shocked anyone. It’s his match in his city (until tomorrow when he was billed from Hollywood, Florida) against a guy that hadn’t actually won a match since he won the title with help. The idea here was that the win elevated Ziggler, but when you think about it, he’s right back to where he was before he was added to Team Cena but now he’s the reason the Authority is gone. Winning the title really doesn’t elevate him any higher than the Survivor Series win did, so I’m not sure if they’re hitting their target on this one.
Earlier in the night, Miz told Naomi that she would be a Hollywood star if he and Mizdow left with the titles. That’s quite the idea, so of course Naomi played absolutely zero role in the title match. Miz hit one of the Usos with a Slammy for the DQ, meaning the story has to continue. They need to do something with Mizdow though because he can only do the same idea so many times before the time is over. I did hear a great idea for how they lose the titles: Mizdow is legal but Miz is down, so Mizdow lays down and takes the pin because Miz isn’t up yet.
The stairs match was the disaster everyone expected it to be. I’ll avoid ranting on Big Show winning again because I think I’ve covered that idea to death already. Here’s the major problem with this match though: why was it a stairs match? The gimmick didn’t get anyone to buy the show, it didn’t help either guy get over, it doesn’t have a history, and it made the match repetitive. There is such a concept as “less is more” and that’s what happened here. This should have been a wrestling match (with Rowan not getting pinned but that’s another story) to give the fans a break from the weapons.
Cena and Rollins had a long and overbooked yet good tables match. I’m not entirely sure what the point was in the tie midway through the match as it really didn’t do anything but extend the match. I guess it lets Rollins say he put Cena through a table but you don’t need the tie to do that. Reigns and Big Show coming down were fine but the match had too much going on. Also, on top of that, what did Rollins have to win here other than pride? Put the #1 contendership on the line or something, because without a title to fight over, it stops meaning much.
Nikki retained over AJ in another nothing match. Three notes here: first of all, Brie said that she’s fine with her sister because they’re family. That’s about as lame of an answer as they could have gone with and is code for “We changed the story. Get over it.” The other note is Nikki Bella ACTUALLY CHEATED to keep the title by using hairspray to blind AJ for the Rack Attack. You know, like a villain is supposed to do. If villains don’t cheat, it’s hard for them to be villains.
Third, to further illustrate how over managed the whole company is, the stuff sprayed in AJ’s eyes was originally called hairspray on WWE.com but they changed it to “an unidentified substance.” Here’s the thing: someone actually looked at that report on WWE.com, saw that it said hairspray, and said no no no it was just some substance.
1. What’s wrong with hairspray?
2. Why not just call it an unidentified substance in the first place?
3. Who in the freaking world cares that it wasn’t actually hairspray??? I know there are some nitpickers out there, but was there really someone out there freezing the screen and zooming in on it to see if it was really hairspray???
4. Who looked at the report and said “CHANGE THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!!”? I really want to know who is in charge of the “identifying what Nikki Bella uses to cheat to win matches” department at WWE.com.
5. Someone is being paid to change hairspray to unidentified substance. Remember that the next time you’re looking for a job.
Next up was Ryback vs. Kane in a chairs match. Here’s a quicker way to cover this one. Read this but substitute Kane for Big Show, Ryback for Erick Rowan, chairs for stairs and swap the winner.
The stairs match was the disaster everyone expected it to be. I’ll avoid ranting on Big Show winning again because I think I’ve covered that idea to death already. Here’s the major problem with this match though: why was it a stairs match? The gimmick didn’t get anyone to buy the show, it didn’t help either guy get over, it doesn’t have a history, and it made the match repetitive. There is such a concept as “less is more” and that’s what happened here. This should have been a wrestling match (with Rowan not getting pinned but that’s another story) to give the fans a break from the weapons.
Rusev b. Swagger Part 19.
Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose in the namesake match when a TV monitor blew up in Dean’s face so Bray could hit Sister Abigail. I’ll skip all the spots and get down to the message of this match: sometimes someone has to lose a match. Anymore WWE seems obsessed with finding ways for someone to slip on a banana peel to lose after dominating for most of the match. Sometimes you have to have someone win and someone lose without some big gimmick ending.
If you’re trying to elevate both guys, having one put up a heck of a fight but come up short isn’t going to kill them (see Cactus Jack vs. HHH in 2000 for proof) but having Ambrose lose like he did here and in the Cell make me roll my eyes and forget the rest of the match. Tell me: how many things do you remember about the match outside of the ending? It was a good match but no one is talking about anything but the ending and how stupid it made Ambrose look. Get the idea here?
Overall this show had too much thought put into it and the whole thing got screwed up. The chairs and stairs matches could have been wrestling matches and the main event being worth anything (#30 in the Rumble perhaps?) would have helped it a ton. At the end of the day, Lesnar and the title not being around is killing this company and they need to get the title off of him as soon as possible.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Tribute to the Troops 2014: Our Long National Marathon Is Over
Tribute to the Troops 2014 Date: December 17, 2014
Location: Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
It’s that special time of year when WWE gets to put in very little effort and bang their chests to brag about how amazing they are for doing something for the troops. Ignore the fact that they no longer go across the world to do these shows or even hold them in a military base anymore and enjoy meaningless matches, unnecessary musical performances and recorded cameos by celebrities who aren’t actually appearing in person. Did I mention this show has lost its shine for me in the last few years? Let’s get to it.
Will Ferrell, the Osbornes, Rachel Maddow, the Muppets, Michael Strahan, Kelly Ripa, Aaron Rogers, Bruce Willis, Stephen Colbert, a bunch of wrestlers and celebrities that I either don’t recognize or go too fast to type love the troops.
Here’s Hulk Hogan with an American flag, walking between some troops to open the show. Really, is there anyone else that should be doing something like this? He talks about how great it is to live in this country but gets cut off by Miz and Mizdow (minus Slammys and titles). Miz says you’re welcome to everyone here for portraying a marine in his signature role. When you think pillar of strength of the military, you think Miz.
This brings out John Cena to apologize for Miz, who is either drunk or has amnesia. When Cena thinks of toughness, he thinks of the armed forces. When he thinks of Miz, it’s something a whole lot more metrosexual. Like Ryan Seacrest for example. The Miz compares himself to Bob Hope and says dying children ask people to win one for the Miz. Cena of course doesn’t believe it and polls the fans on whether or not Miz is a big deal.
Miz laughs it off and says that it’s Hogan in the ring with Miz instead of him being in the ring with Hogan. He brings up the Wrestlemania XXVII loss and says he played a more convincing soldier than Cena ever could. The brawl is on and Mizdow ie left alone for his team. He mimes getting beaten up by Cena and dives over the ropes on his own in a funny bit.
This brings out Team Authority minus Rusev but plus Big Show because even specials need to have long opening segments. The beatdown is on but Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler come out for the save. Team Cena and Hogan stand tall in an actual feel good moment. Hogan has been the Real American for over thirty years and you have to have him here for something like this.
Angelina Jolie loves the troops and plugs her new movie Unbroken.
Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos
Goldust talks trash to Jey to start and eats an uppercut for his efforts. Off to Stardust who gets punched in the face as well before it’s off to Jimmy for a slam. Goldust gets in a cheap shot from the apron but Jimmy stops to dance. The Usos knock the Dusts to the floor for some big dives as we take a break. Back with Jey being sent to the floor for a stomping from Stardust as Cole talks about how amazing Fort Benning is.
Stardust works on an armbar before kicking Jey in the face for two. Goldust gets the same off a powerslam and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and makes the hot tag to his brother for some house cleaning. The Umaga attack stuns Stardust and the enziguri sends Goldust to the floor. There’s a big dive from Jey but Jimmy takes the Disaster Kick for two. Jimmy pops back up with a corkscrew dive for two more. Jey superkicks Stardust down and the double superkick sets up Superfly Splashes for the stereo pin at 10:38.
Rating: C. The match was fine but it’s the same one we’ve seen half a dozen times now. The Usos continue to have great rhythm together which you can only find in actual brothers. The Dusts on the other hand are still falling apart, even though they’re staying sharp in the ring. I’d assume we’ll get to the split eventually, which I don’t hate as much as I used to.
Lester Holt loves the troops.
The cast of the Voice loves the troops.
Florida Georgia Line performs.
Tom Brokaw loves the troops.
Divas Battle Royal
All of the Divas are here in either Christmas themed attire or at least a Santa hat. It’s a brawl to start with Emma quickly being eliminated. Rosa and Summer have a dance off as the rest of the match just stops. Thankfully they get together and eliminate the pair but Cameron stops to check her compact. Naomi takes it away and holds it out, making Cameron stop to look at herself again, giving Naomi the easy elimination.
The Bellas throw Alicia out, leaving us with the Bellas, Paige, Naomi and Natalya. Paige busts out some mistletoe but the Bellas kick her to the floor. Naomi tries to jump over Nikki in the corner but gets planted with an Alabama Slam. Brie eliminates herself by missing a baseball slide, allowing Naomi to dump the other two out for the win at 3:45.
Rating: D+. This is there so the girls can look good in their outfits and nothing more. It wasn’t entertaining for the most part but thankfully they kept this very short. This is a tradition for the show and at the end of the day, it’s one of those things there for the fans and nothing more.
Video of the roster visiting the troops.
Sgt. Slaughter tells us to stick around.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
This is a Boot Camp match, meaning a military themed street fight. Sgt. Slaughter does the introductions for old times’ sake. Ambrose comes out in a camouflage hat to really suck up to the fans. It’s a brawl to start of course with Dean hitting his dropkick against the ropes. Bray comes back with a slam as we’re waiting on the weapons to come into play. Dean comes back with what looked like a bulldog to send Bray outside, setting up the suicide dive.
They head to the camouflaged posts before Dean hits him with what looked like a tool box. Since there aren’t enough weapons in the ring, Dean goes underneath to find some chairs, one of which he wedges in the corner. Bray comes back with a kendo stick shot and hammers away on Dean’s ribs. Some right hands get two on Ambrose as the announcers debate G.I. Joes.
We take a break and come back with Dean fighting out of a cravate but eating a right hand to the face. A big kendo stick shot gets two and Bray slowly kicks away. Bray misses a big shot though and Dean takes the stick away. Wyatt seems to like the idea but doesn’t like the beating Ambrose gives him as much. A White Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow with the chair get two for Dean so he starts looking for more toys. He picks a table but takes too long setting it up, allowing Bray to Rock Bottom Ambrose through the table for two.
Wyatt busts out another table but stops to get in Slaughter’s face, allowing Dean to get a breather. Slaughter takes off his boot as Dean comes back with the rebound clothesline. The steel toed boot comes into the ring and goes upside Bray’s head to knock him onto the table. Dean heads up top for the elbow through the table for the pin at 14:30.
Rating: C+. This was violent enough to be entertaining but the gimmick was just there to tie things together. In other words, this was a basic street fight with nothing special other than the last spot of the match. Nothing much to see here, but these two have done so much that it’s hard to find something new.
We recap the opening segment.
Jamie Fox and Cameron Diaz love the troops and plug their new movie Annie.
The Kardashians love the troops.
Here are Lana and Rusev to what should be better heat. She says the fans are lucky to be in the presence of the greatest US Champion of all time to make them a bit angrier. The fans shout Rusev down with the USA chant so Lana puts up the Putin photo. She issues something like an open challenge and here’s Daniel Bryan to interrupt and fire up the crowd all over again.
Bryan says the thing the Russians don’t understand about Americans is that they never back down. It doesn’t matter if you’re 5’5 like Bryan (that’s a bit low) or 7’2, Democrat or Republican, we fight no matter what. If Rusev and Lana don’t like that, they should go back to Russia. Lana laughs him off and Rusev invites Bryan out to the floor. Daniel asks if Rusev wants to do all this right in front of the troops. The thing about Americans is they’ll come from anywhere to defend their freedoms. A few troops start jumping the barricade and two repel from the ceiling to surround Rusev. Bryan gets in the ring but Rusev bails.
The vast of the Today Show loves the troops.
Larry the Cable Guy loves the troops.
Florida Georgia Line performs again.
Team Cena goes over their game plan (an actual piece of paper labeled “game plan”).
Video on Hire Heroes.
Ryback/John Cena/Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane/Luke Harper/Big Show/Seth Rollins
Ryback and Rollins get things going with Seth being powered back into the corner. We hit the wristlock on Rollins before it’s off to Rowan for a big (red) slam. The good guys keep their control until Seth decks Ziggler with a right hand. Dolph is able to escape a delayed suplex from Harper though and tags in Ryback for a delayed suplex of his own, complete with FEED ME MORE, for two. Ziggler comes back in with a dropkick but it’s off to Rollins to take over again. The running DDT gets a quick two on Seth but everything breaks down with the bad guys standing tall as we take a break.
Back with Big Show throwing Ziggler around before it’s off to Kane. The announcers talk about Kane attacking the Bunny with JBL talking about how great a moment it was. Instead of letting the potential new fans say “what are they talking about? That sounds kind of interesting.”, Cole is right there to explain that it’s just a guy in a bunny suit to kill the idea dead.
Rollins comes back in and stomps away but Ziggler gets in a shot and DIVES over for the tag to Cena. Harper comes in as well to take the finishing sequence but Rollins breaks up the AA attempt. Kane breaks up the STF and it’s secondary finishers a go-go. The AA plants Show and Cena AA’s Harper onto Big show, but makes sure to shove Show out of the way so he can pin Harper at 13:37.
Rating: D+. You know, they almost had me here. They had me buying into this for just a second but then I lost the little hope I had. I can’t believe it, but for a second I thought Big Show might actually do a job here. Thankfully reality set in as Cena made sure to shove Big Show out of the way after the AA and having Harper land on him so harper could take the pin. I was getting worried there for a second.
Hogan comes out to celebrate to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. I didn’t get as annoyed with this show as I have in the past but it’s still not really necessary. Back in the day when the actually went to Iraq and Afghanistan, the show felt like something special and unique. Now it feels like a star (pre-recorded cameo) studded house show with four matches and little effort. It also doesn’t help that this makes eleven hours (counting Sunday’s pre-show) of WWE in four days. If you watch all the shows like WWE implores you to do, the burnout hit somewhere around the middle of Smackdown last night. The show wasn’t bad, but it came and went and I won’t think of it again.
Results
Usos b. Goldust/Stardust – Double Superfly Splash
Naomi won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Dean Ambrose b. Bray Wyatt – Top rope elbow through a table
John Cena/Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Big Show/Luke Harper/Kane/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Harper
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: December 16, 2014
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commenators: Tom Phillips, Michae Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Welcome to one of the only times all year that WWE remembers this show matters. This is a special live edition of the show airing on a Tuesday instead of the usual taped Friday timeslot. We’re coming off a fairly dull show last night and the only thing of note is that Bray and Dean are both in the building tonight. Not in a match or anythign mind you, but in the building. Let’s get to it.
Cole says this is the 800th episode. Apparently that’s correct, even though this is the first mention of the milestone.
Roman Reigns vs. Fandango
We get a quick recap of last night and the question now is how long does this last. Feeling out process to start until Reigns easily throws him down. Fandango actually takes him down into a chinlock as the crowd dies a bit. Reigns fights up and responds to the canned chants with a big running clothesline. There’s the Superman Punch and the spear is good for the pin at 4:47.
Result: D+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Reigns just ended Fandango with that spear. Speaking of ending Fandango, it’s about that time. His gimmick stopped being entertaining months ago and this idea of the new and improved version sounds more like a joke than anything else.
Quick package on the TLC match.
Here’s Ambrose for a chat. He talks about all the horrible things he and Bray did to each other but then an act of God made him lose. However, he saw a look in Bray’s eyes that showed him how crazy Dean was. For once Wyatt was in the ring with someone just as insane as he is. They face each other tomorrow night at Tribute to the Troops in a Boot Camp Match.
Bray comes up on screen to say that Ambrose is still breathing because Bray is enjoying this game. If anyone could see the creature behind his eyes, they would know that he is disdain and the slayer of his calling. He won’t stop until he sees all the heroes fall and the cities crumble. Bray is the battlefield and it will all burn.
Usos/Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper/Miz/Damien Mizdow
This is Rowan’s second match tonight as he lost to Kane on Main Event thanks to Titus O’Neil. The fans are of course behind Mizdow more than the real version but Harper doesn’t seem to like either of them. Luke knocks Jey down into the corner to start but Jey comes back with an uppercut to the jaw. Off to Miz as everyone heads to the floor, leading to a big standoff and a break.
Back with Jimmy fighting out of a Harper chinlock but walking into a big superkick. Miz comes back in and chokes on the ropes a lot, only to get caught in a rollup for two. Mizdow holds out his hand but it’s off to Harper instead. Harper puts on the Gator Roll and Mizdow mimics him, ticking off Miz.
The heels start arguing and nearly allow a hot tag off to Jey. Mizdow finally tags himself in to the pop of the night, but Miz tags himself back in when Mizdow tries the corner clothesline. The distraction lets Jimmy make the tag off to Rowan to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Usos knock Harper onto the announcers’ table. Rowan busts out a top rope splash and actually gets a pin on Miz at 11:50.
Rating: C-. Not much to see here as it’s a standard six man tag on this show. At least Rowan finally got a pin, even though it’s an hour removed from jobbing to Kane. I don’t have much hope for him due to how they’ve treated him so far, but at least he got a win here. On a show that means almost nothing.
Naomi, who has a Divas Title shot tonight thanks to Miz, is fired up for her match. Jimmy is excited as well and can’t wait to be at ringside. Actually Naomi would rather do this one on her own, which Jimmy reluctantly agrees to.
We recap Chris Jericho and the cage match from Raw last night.
Ryback vs. Seth Rollins
No match actually as Rusev jumps Ryback during his entrance and knocks him off the stage.
Rollins says this is what happens when there’s no Authority to keep things in line. He brags about winning his war with Cena last night and says it’s time for a night off. Cue Dolph Ziggler in street clothes for an interruption. He shares credit with Sting for getting rid of the Authority and reminds Rollins that it was the night he beat him. Ziggler throws out a challenge but Rollins doesn’t think so. Dolph suggests that Seth is scared so Rollins says it’s just Dolph Ziggler and accepts.
Ascension is coming.
Divas Title: Naomi vs. Nikki Bella
Naomi is challenging, somehow due to Miz’s Hollywood connections. This actually gets big match intros. Naomi knocks her out of the corner to start and hits a kind of running double knee to the face for two. An Alabama Slam and slingshot suplex get two each for the champ and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere as Naomi fights up, only to collide with Nikki to put both girls down. Miz comes out to cheer for Naomi, who snaps Nikki’s throat across the top for two. Nikki sends her outside and Miz is there for a pep talk. This brings out Jimmy to chase him off but the distraction lets Nikki small package Naomi to retain at 4:15.
Rating: D+. The match was nothing special but this was perfect for the story. You can tell they’ve actually put something together here and have some thought to it. They’re using real life and fictitious characters to make something interesting and I’m interested in seeing where it’s going. Why don’t they do this more often?
As soon as the match ends and Naomi looks at Jimmy, Cole tells us about a poll on the WWE App that thinks Miz is up to no good. That line sums up one of WWE’s biggest problems right now. We have an interesting story going on with another new development but COle has to stop to plug a totally meaningless poll that hasn’t been mentioned until just now and tells us something that anyone with a brain could figure out. Stop telling us about everything else you can think of to plug and talk about what’s going on right in front of you.
Adam Rose vs. Kane
The Bunny is now in a neck brace. Kane knocks Rose down to start but walks into a clothesline and a high cross body, but Adam stops to dance. The big boot and chokeslam end this in 1:18.
Kane tombstones the Bunny again.
Rollins talks about how he’s going to go after John Cena and ruin everything he does until the Authority comes back. If that means he has to work with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, so be it.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title. Rollins, sporting bruised ribs, bails to the floor to start before heading back inside, only to have Dolph throw him right back outside. Back in and Seth kicks him in the ribs to take over before dropping Dolph with some clotheslines. Ziggler tries a quick Zig Zag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Noble to get in a cheap shot as we take a break.
Back with Rollins in full control and taking his sweet time hammering on Ziggler. A hard running clothesline puts Dolph down again and Rollins sends him out to the floor. With Noble shouting encouragement in that country accent, Rollins goes up but gets knocked down onto the ribs. Dolph scores with a dropkick for two, ducks the enziguri and nails the running DDT for two more.
Now Seth’s enziguri connects but he takes too much time going up, allowing Dolph to run the corner for a top rope faceplant. The Stooges offer a distraction so Dolph backdrops Rollins over the top and down onto both of them. Fameasser gets two back inside but Noble nails Dolph with a cheap shot. That earns the Stooges an ejection, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 15:13.
Rating: B-. I’m torn here. For one thing, I’m glad that they give Ziggler a big win like this, but at the same time they give Rollins a huge win last night and then have him job here. The one time they should have had a run-in finish and they actually have a fall. It does help that the Stooges’ distraction led to the finish, but I’d have preferred if he wasn’t pinned in the middle of the ring.
Ziggler escapes a beating to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This was your standard Smackdown: some decent wrestling, some one off matches, and nothing of note happening. There was nothing special about this one and this week is already feeling more like a headache than something to look forward to. Tomorrow’s special is likely to feel like a glorified house show and Raw was nothing special either. Is it any wonder why there’s no interest in the product at the moment? Not only is the show dull, but there’s a ton of it at the moment. It’s not the worst show, but there’s no reason to watch it, as usual.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Fandango – Spear
Usos/Erick Rowan b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Luke Harper – Top rope splash to Miz
Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Small package
Kane b. Adam Rose – Chokeslam
Dolph Ziggler b. Seth Rollins – Zig Zag
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – December 15, 2014: Detroit Raw City
Monday Night Raw Date: December 15, 2014
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
TLC was last night and it didn’t quite live up to the standard set by R-Evolution. By “didn’t quite” I of course mean not in the slightest as it was mainly a bunch of matches with different weapons swapped in without much changing. Hopefully Lesnar is back tonight to finally get the main stories moving forward. Jericho is the guest host as well so let’s get to it.
We immediately open with Jericho’s countdown and the guest GM is here. He’s happy to be in Detroit rock city because he’s in charge tonight. Tonight is all about the fans because last week they gave him a Slammy for diving off the top of a cage. Jericho stops for another Y2J chant but says he’ll get in trouble if he doesn’t move this along. Last week Fandango accepted his award for him and that’s not cool with the boss. Therefore, he demands that Fandumbo get out here right now and bring the trophy with him.
Instead he gets Paul Heyman with a mic in hand. He’s used to being the power in the arena, but tonight is Raw Is Jericho. If you’re going to have a guest GM, why not have someone known for running the most exciting promotion of all time? However, that’s not why Heyman is here tonight. He isn’t cool with the idea of Jericho winning the Extreme Moment of the Year because he’s kind of the extreme guy around here.
Jericho calls him a walrus and says that Heyman owes him $200 from selling a Best of Jericho tape in ECW. He gets in Heyman’s face but Paul says he’s an advocate. Therefore, he’s here to talk about Seth Rollins, who had a chance to knock Cena out of the Royal Rumble spot last night. Cue Rollins as Jericho looks interested in where this is going.
Seth gets right in Heyman’s face but Paul literally backs down as Rollins talks about putting Cena through a table and having his hand raised. That victory was taken away though, just like at Survivor Series. The Authority would still be in power if not for the vigilante Sting. Last night it was Roman Reigns costing him the match, which everyone knows he won. Everyone knows Cena can’t beat him on his own (Stooges applaud) because Cena is a coward. Rollins issues a challenge for a rematch when he’s healthy enough, but here’s John to cut him off.
Cena tells Rollins to shut up and let the adults talk. Just because Seth has a mic in his hands it doesn’t mean he has anything in his pants. Last night they had a match and Rollins lost, but now he’s out here running his mouth. That means Rollins hasn’t learned to be a man, because he hasn’t learned to dust himself off and continue to fight. Cena turns to Heyman and starts talking about fighting the Beast at the Royal Rumble in a great fight.
Back to Rollins, Cena says he’s wanting a fight tonight. Rollins mentioned a rematch and Cena had the same thing in mind. Tonight Cena needs help because he can’t make matches. Therefore, he needs someone with the power to make that match happen. The look on Jericho’s face is hilarious here as you can see the lightbulb go off over his head. Jericho of course makes the match and puts it in a steel cage, which just happens to be hanging above the ring.
Cena leaves and Rollins calls Jericho the worst GM of all time. “You’re worse than that stupid computer!” He says Jericho is jealous because he’s not as important as Rollins. Jericho is out of shape and couldn’t even beat the popcorn guy. “Well of course I couldn’t because the popcorn guy is a ninja.” Jericho thinks he can beat Heyman though and Paul readily agrees. Chris isn’t convinced though and makes himself vs. Heyman for tonight. We’re STILL not done yet though because Jericho tells us to vote on the App for the stipulations in his match with Heyman.
Your choices for Jericho vs. Heyman: Extreme Rules, No Holds Barred or Street Fight.
Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show/Luke Harper
Ziggler has to run away from Big Show to start but eventually gets thrown into the corner. Some right hands and a dropkick stagger Show but he just tosses Ziggler down with ease. A hard shoulder sends Ziggler out to the floor and he barely beats the ten count back in as we take our second break in seven minutes.
Back with Harper nailing Dolph in the jaw for two. Off to Big Show for his slow motion offense as we get a split screen still package of the ladder match last night. Harper catapults him throat first into the bottom rope for two but misses a charge into the post. The hot tag brings in Rowan to clean house as everything breaks down. Harper and Ziggler go over the announcers’ table and Big Show KO’s Rowan for the pin at 10:02.
Rating: C-. They’re trolling us right? I mean, they can’t seriously think this is the best possible option. I’m assuming this is to set up Big Show vs. someone later on and I’m sure that BIG SHOW of all people needs some wins like this to set up his push. You know, because all those titles over the years are just forgotten right? I can’t get over this and it’s making me lose my sanity more every week.
I mean, why bother even setting Rowan up as a monster with a new character in the first place? They made a target and destroyed it in the span of like a month and for what? To make Big Show stronger? You would thinking knocking JOHN CENA and Mark Henry cold would have proven it, but no that’s not enough. Instead they need to tease the fans with Rowan and then have him get beaten down twice in two days. You know, for Big Show!
Jericho tells Fandango to shut up in the back and go to the ring.
Video on TLC last night.
New Day isn’t afraid of the Dusts’ darkness. Soon, you’ll feel their power. Big E. freaks out so much that he sweats on everyone.
Bella Twins vs. Alicia Fox/Natalya
Total Divas match. Fox hammers on Nikki to start but eats a spinebuster. We’re already in the chinlock for a bit before Brie comes in for one of her own. A jawbreaker sets up the cold tag to Natalya and Brie slaps her in the face, earning her a Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:13.
Tyson checks on Nikki for some reason until Natalya sees him.
Roman Reigns will be in action tomorrow night on Super Smackdown Live.
It’s the Highlight Reel with guests Lana and Rusev. Lana immediately brags about Rusev still being undefeated by crushing Swagger again before allowing Chris to ask any intelligent questions he has. Jericho mocks Lana for wearing the same outfit on TV twice in a row before asking if it’s the tight bun hairstyle that makes her so angry all the time. Maybe Rusev needs to release some of his stress by showing Lana his Sputnik.
Jericho thinks there’s something going on between the two of them and starts singing about them in a tree together. “It’s the US Champ and the communist tramp!” Lana freaks out until Rusev takes the mic. Maybe he should just crush Jericho right now. Jericho tries to figure out why someone always wants to beat him up. Speaking of which, there’s someone that wants to fight Rusev right now. Cue Ryback for an actually fresh feud but Rusev backs down, as is his custom.
We look at Big Show interfering in the tables match last night but getting taken out by the returning Roman Reigns.
Ascension is coming.
Goldust/Stardust vs. New Day
Big E./Woods here as Kofi jumps in on commentary. Xavier drops Goldust with a dropkick and legsweep before it’s off to Big E. for a Vader Clothesline. Goldie bails to the floor for a breather and it’s Stardust in. The commentators talk about E.’s sweating as he hits a pair of backbreakers on Stardust. Back to Woods for a quick arm wringer before Big E. comes in with a slam. Big E. drops Woods onto Stardust for two before Woods sends both Dusts to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Goldust tagging himself in to snap Big E.’s throat across the top rope. Stardust does the same and we hit a chinlock from Goldust. E. charges into a spinebuster for two and the CM Punk chant begins. The match keeps dragging on so the fans chant for NXT. The Dusts take turns with various kinds of locks before Stardust kicks Big E. in the face. E., presumably out of boredom, takes Stardust’s head off with a clothesline.
The hot tag brings in Woods for his rolling clothesline but he walks into a Goldust powerslam for two. An enziguri knocks Stardust to the floor and E. offers himself as a launch pad for a flip dive onto both Dusts. The Midnight Hour FINALLY ends Goldust at 13:33. Kofi’s wild celebration for the pin helped.
Rating: D+. It’s not even that the match was bad but it felt like it went on for about four hours. This is what I mean when I talk about them stretching something out to fill in time, because they don’t have enough material to fill in three hours. You would think a twenty three minute opening segment would eat up enough time that this isn’t necessary, but somehow it’s still happening almost every week.
Miz (with Mizdow) isn’t worried about facing Jimmy Uso on his own tonight. The only way Jimmy will ever be on a red carpet is if he’s with his wife. Jimmy’s story ends tonight.
Adam Rose is in the back and promises the Rosebuds the biggest after party ever tonight. Kane pops up, says he doesn’t like Rose, and says he’s Adam’s opponent tonight.
Adam Rose vs. Kane
Kane quickly throws Rose to the floor where the Bunny plays cheerleader. Back in and Rose runs away from Kane until he nails a clothesline in the corner. Rose stops to dance though and eats a big boot, but the Bunny comes in off the top, only to dive into a double chokeslam for the pin at 1:32. Side note: Jimmy Jacobs was part of the Rosebuds.
The Bunny gets tombstoned.
We look back at the opening segment.
Chris Jericho vs. Paul Heyman
Heyman comes out wearing workout gear and carrying a mic. He knows Jericho is expecting a bunch of tricks up his sleeve but Heyman doesn’t have anything. Heyman doesn’t even have a witty comeback like “I’m the Jew in ju-jitsu.” Instead he wants to keep this PG because he gave Jericho his first break. Now Jericho is a world famous star who wants to fight Heyman over $200 from nearly twenty years ago. Paul offers him the $200 in lieu of a horrible beating and busts out the checkbook. Jericho slaps it out of his hand and shows us the results:
Extreme Rules – 39%
No Holds Barred – 18%
Street Fight – 43%
Heyman doesn’t understand why Jericho thinks it’s fair to get into a fight with…..BROCK LESNAR. Cue the champ (no belt) as reality sets in on Jericho. He gets in the ring and stares Jericho down but Jericho tries a Codebreaker. Brock just stands there and lets Jericho fall before planting him with the F5. The fans chant for Cena but Lesnar just leaves without a match ever taking place.
Here are Fandango and Rosa with Jericho’s Slammy. Before he can say much though, here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. A big right hand and the spear drop the dancer and Reigns smirks a bit. Now it’s Big Show’s turn to cut Reigns off but Roman says if Big Show gets in the ring, he’ll get hit in the mouth. Reigns is a step ahead of him as the Superman Punch knocks Show off the apron but not out. He throws some stairs around and that’s that.
Miz vs. Jimmy Uso
The fans want Mizdow but get Miz running out to the floor. Back in and a slam drops Miz as Naomi is watching backstage. Some chops have Miz in even more trouble and Jimmy just pounds away with right hands. Miz finally snaps Jimmy’s throat across the top rope and goes up, only to dive into an uppercut. They head outside with Mizdow ramming Jimmy’s back into the apron before putting on what looks to be the Last Chancery of all things back inside.
The Reality Check gets two but Jimmy fights up and knocks Miz to the floor for a big dive. Mizdow of course falls down as well because he’s dedicated to his craft. Back in again and a high cross body gets two for Jimmy. He easily breaks up the Figure Four and hits a Samoan drop, only to have Mizdow come in and dive into the corner as well. Jimmy throws him to the floor, gets a quick assist from Jey, and hits the superkick and Superfly Splash for the pin at 6:15.
Rating: C-. You know, Miz can actually have a decent match when he gets away from the Figure Four stuff. Jimmy winning here makes the most sense given the story, even though Naomi has wound up meaning nothing in this entire story other than setting it up, making her one of the first Maguffins in WWE history.
Post break Naomi is walking in the back when Miz comes up to offer her a spot on MizTV tomorrow night. As usual, Naomi looks unsure.
Rollins says his issues with Cena are getting ridiculous. He has to step inside a cage with Cena again tonight because the Authority is gone and everything is crazy. Jericho wouldn’t be here tonight running his mouth and then winding up in a hospital if the Authority was around and Rollins is going to teach Cena a lesson tonight.
The cage is lowered.
Seth Rollins vs. John Cena
In a cage of course with pins, submissions or escape. Rollins charges up the cage wall to start but John pulls him back down. The LOUD dueling Cena chants begin as Rollins drives him face first into the cage for two. Cena comes right back by catapulting him into the cage but Seth catches himself and climbs, only to be pulled back down onto the top rope.
A big bulldog drives Seth down for two and John climbs, only to have Mercury run interference. Rollins stops him from getting out the door and almost gets out himself but Cena powers him back in. Back up and they go up the corner, only to have Rollins sunset flip into a running buckle bomb for two as we take a break.
Back with Cena fighting back and knocking Mercury off the cage. The AA gets a very close two and Cena is stunned. He knocks Noble off the door and goes up top, only to have to fight out of a superplex attempt. Rollins gets knocked off the top and the Fameasser gets two. Another AA attempt is countered and the top rope knee to the face gets two for Rollins. Seth shouts that this is what Cena wanted and rams him face first into the cage. John does the same to him and both guys are down.
It’s Cena up first but Mercury slams the door on his head for two more. The Curb Stomp misses and the STF goes on but he crawls over to the door. Cena has to pull him back in but the Stooges pulls the other way. John wins but Noble throws in the briefcase. Rollins doesn’t need it though as he enziguris Cena down but Seth comes up limping. A briefcase shot is countered with a hard clothesline and both guys are down again.
Another AA is countered and the briefcase shot gets two. Seth climbs up and gets over the top but Cena catches him by the hair. A top rope AA is enough for….not a cover actually. Instead here’s Lesnar with both guys down as Cole actually points out that Lesnar has business with Rollins after what happened at Night of Champions. Brock rolls Germans on Cena and plants him with an F5 as Rollins gets up. Heyman gets in and hands Brock the belt before offering Rollins his hand. Seth shakes it and we might have a new Paul Heyman guy. Rollins nails the Curb Stomp, collects his briefcase, and walks out for the win at 23:33.
Rating: B. This was far more about storytelling than anything else but that’s exactly the right ending. See, this was a way to make Cena look good but protect Rollins at the same time. I was worried they would have Cena win and then do the Lesnar stuff, but out of all this, Cena doesn’t lose face because of the interference and Rollins beats Cena in an entertaining match. What more can you ask for?
The announcers aren’t sure if Heyman and Rollins were working together all along or if they just have common enemies.
Overall Rating: D+. The show showed some signs of getting better, but there’s still so much stuff dragging this show down. I can dig Reigns having his first major win over Big Show, but there is zero reason to build Rowan up just to have him get knocked out twice in a row to prove whatever point they’re going for. Send Swagger out there if you have to, as Rusev has already destroyed him to the point where it’s going to take time to salvage him. Or, just a thought here, IT’S FREAKING BIG SHOW AND HE DOESN’T NEED TO BE BUILT UP BY KNOCKING PEOPLE OUT!
The good thing here though is the future looks better. Cena looks like he has a good chance of beating Lesnar to set up the FAR more interesting Cena vs. Reigns title match at Wrestlemania. Ryback vs. Rusev has a lot more potential than Rusev squashing people that have no chance of beating him. I’m digging a lot of what’s going on in WWE right now, but there are just so many stupid decisions dragging them down.
Results
Big Show/Luke Harper b. Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan – KO Punch to Rowan
Natalya/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Sharpshooter to Brie
New Day b. Goldust/Stardust – Midnight Hour to Goldust
Kane b. Adam Rose – Chokeslam
Jimmy Uso b. Miz – Superfly Splash
Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Rollins escaped the cage
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at: