Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night One
Date: April 2, 2022
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 77,899
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee
America the Beautiful: Brantley Gilbert

We have arrived at the biggest weekend in wrestling and this time it is back in the full capacity stadium. Again, this year’s show is split in two and again it feels like there is a good one night in between the two shows. That was the case last year though and the first night went well so maybe history can repeat itself. Let’s get to it.

Note that I was in attendance for this show, sitting in the third level off the floor in the end zone corner with the stage on my right.

Brantley Gilbert sings America the Beautiful.

Mark Wahlberg stars in the opening video and talks about how these people have a chance for a Texas sized helping of greatness. That is easier said than done though, as it is not easy to reach that level. Everyone has a chance though, so go catch greatness on the Wrestlemania stage. Nothing exactly profound here but having a star do the video is nice.

A lot of fireworks go off.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders for an unannounced dance routine. I’m a Cowboys fan and I get the idea here, but does this add anything other than Texas flavor? It isn’t like anyone comes out or gets hyped up here.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Usos

The Usos are defending here but first, Pat McAfee has to lose his freaking mind dancing to Boogs’ guitar intro. You could see him on the announcers’ table from the seats and my goodness his voice makes it all the more over the top/better. We get a quick recap of Boogs faking an injury to help win a #1 contenders match so there is a bit of a backstory here. The Big Match Intros make this all the sweeter in something you don’t often see outside of the main event.

Nakamura starts fast by kicking Jimmy down and it’s already Good Vibrations in the corner. The running knee to the ribs gets two on Jimmy but Jey gets in a cheap shot to take over. A shot from the apron keeps Nakamura down and an enziguri gives Jimmy two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, only to have Nakamura fight up and hit the spinning kick to the head. The double tag brings in Boogs and Jey, with Boogs grabbing him in a bearhug.

That doesn’t last long as Boogs switches to the kneeling vertical suplex for two. A double Samoan drop….goes very badly for Boogs, as his knee buckles under the weight (apparently legitimately, putting him on the shelf for a LONG time). That leaves Nakamura to get the tag and dive onto both champs before striking away at Jey inside. The sliding German suplex looks to set up Kinshasa but Jey hits a superkick. Jimmy adds the Superfly Splash for two and it’s another superkick into the 1D to retain the titles at 6:55.

Rating: C. It’s kind of hard to grade something like this as the injury changed everything. The last two minutes or so were a handicap match and there is a strong chance that they had to come up with something on the fly, so we’ll go with right in the middle to play it safe. The match wasn’t great, but what are you expecting given the circumstances?

Video on Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn in an anything goes match tomorrow.

We recap Happy Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre. Corbin lost everything in one of the most entertaining stories in a long time, but then gambled his way back to financial security. Then he and Madcap Moss injured McIntyre, setting up a FAR too long feud to get us here. For some reason, Corbin and Moss stole McIntyre’s sword, named after his mother. Corbin: “What do McIntyre’s mother and sword have in common? Drew lost both of them.” Of course you know this means war, which started with McIntyre getting the sword back on Smackdown.

Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin

Madcap Moss is here with Corbin, who is billed as UNDEFEATED, because we now keep track of wins and losses since a name change. McIntyre is wearing some dark gray trunks here for a change of pace. Corbin starts fast but gets clotheslined over the top for his efforts. A posting cuts McIntyre off and Smackdown rol….wrong show, never mind.

Back in and a whip into the corner gives Corbin two as McAfee recaps the Corbin saga. A belly to back suplex drops McIntyre for one but Moss gets on the apron for an inadvertent distraction, allowing McIntyre to grab a spinebuster. The overhead belly to belly into the neckbreaker lets McIntyre nip up as things get a bit more intense.

Corbin is right back with a quick Deep Six for two more but McIntyre knocks him down again. The threat of the Claymore sends Corbin outside so McIntyre hits the big flip dive to the floor (that’s not normal for his size). Back in and Corbin hits End of Days out of nowhere for two, with Cole trying to make that a lot bigger than it really is. The Futureshock gives McIntyre two but the Claymore gives him the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given of Smackdown and absolutely should have, as this feud was barely good enough for one pay per view match, let alone a months long feud. McIntyre should be ready to move back to the World Title scene and he needed to run these two over to do so. Maybe this leads to the team splitting, but I don’t know what Moss can do with this gimmick going forward.

Post match McIntyre loads up Angela and swings at Moss, hitting the ropes instead. The ropes are sliced in two, but I wonder why it caused an explosion. The Gordian Knot wasn’t that in your face.

We recap the Mysterios vs. Miz/Logan Paul. Miz has been feuding with the two of them and got Paul to help him out, because that’s the best Miz can do. Then Rey had his mask stolen, setting up a feud over respect that feels like it was chosen at random for Paul’s involvement.

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz/Logan Paul

The bottom rope is out of sync with the others after the replacements were put in. Paul has a Pokemon card in a lanyard around his neck, which I’m assuming is something expensive. Miz takes Rey into the corner to start so Paul comes in pretty early. Some leapfrogs let Paul start well but he drops into the splits, allowing Rey to kick him in the head. That’s enough for Paul so it’s off to Dominik vs. Miz, with the former hitting a Lionsault for two. A dive to the floor takes Miz out but Paul gets in a cheap shot from behind to put Dominik down.

Back in and a pretty nice running powerslam gets two on Dominik, setting up some alternating YES Kicks. Dominik fights out of a chinlock and gets two off a backslide. That’s not enough for a tag though as Paul comes back in with a Blockbuster for two more. Dominik finally manages a tornado DDT to drop Miz and there’s the hot tag to bring in Rey. The big kick to the face gets two on Miz but Paul comes back in to load up a double superplex.

Dominik makes the save so Rey rolls Miz up for two, followed by another spinning DDT for two more. Rey hits some Amigos but gets sent into the post, allowing Paul to hit Three Amigos of his own to some serious booing as that is too far. To make it worse, Paul goes up, does something close to the Eddie dance, and hits the frog splash for a very near fall. Dominik is back in and it’s a double 619 to set up back to back frog splashes but Miz makes the save. The Skull Crushing Finale finishes Rey at 11:16.

Rating: C. The match was ok enough and Paul had clearly put in the effort to make this work out. He did very well with the limited spots he did and the athleticism is there. I’m not sure how well he would work long term, but there have been some far worse celebrity appearances at Wrestlemania (or anywhere for that matter).

Post match Miz and Paul pose…and Miz lays him out with a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz laughs at him and blows a kiss, making me wonder why I’d want to see Miz vs. Paul and what the green thing on Miz’s forehead is.

Video on Edge vs. AJ Styles as we get more and more filler.

Here is Stephanie McMahon to talk about what Wrestlemania means to her. She brings out Gable Steveson and….that’s the segment.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair for the Raw Women’s Title. Belair won the Smackdown Women’s Title last year but then Lynch returned from a year plus away to win the title (completely fairly) at Summerslam. Lynch has since gone full villain and Belair wants the title back. They have traded throat injuries and Belair cut off a bunch of Lynch’s hair to make this even more personal.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is defending and gets a special intro (similar to the WWE TV intro as we look at moments from her career)….but Belair one ups her with the Texas Southern University marching band playing her to the ring. They both have special gear, with Lynch coming out in a kind of skirt/jacket combination and Belair in black and red with her top made to look like her lips logo. They both look like they’re on the big stage and it’s an awesome addition.

They both take the time to soak it in a bit but Lynch would rather punch than shake hands. The very early Manhandle Slam gets two and Lynch can’t believe the Summerslam plan didn’t work. Belair goes to the ropes to avoid the Disarm-Her so some covers give Lynch two. They trade rollups for two each and Lynch reverses a suplex into a DDT for two more. Belair tries….something but can’t get Lynch onto her shoulders so she switches to a rollup instead.

They head outside with Lynch slipping off the shoulders to send Belair into the steps to take over. Some Bexploders connect back inside and we hit the chinlock to slow things down a bit. With that broken up, Lynch switches to a cross armbreaker but Belair powers up and dumps her outside for the double crash. Back in and Belair drives some shoulders into the ribs in the corner, setting up a gutbuster for two. The handspring moonsault gets two more but Lynch catches her on top.

Belair gets creative with a Chicago Skyline of all things and a middle rope 450 gets another near fall. Lynch is back up with a Molly Go Round, with her feet hitting Belair in the face (OUCH) for two of her own. Belair is back with a spinebuster and a cradle but the kickout sends her into the corner.

The KOD is broken up but Belair KOD’s her to the floor. That doesn’t work for Belair so she tries to come back inside, only to have Lynch hit the Manhandle Slam onto the steps. Belair dives back in at nine and then kicks out at two, sending Lynch even further into hysteria. Another Bexploder is loaded up but Belair gets to the middle rope, moonsaults over Lynch, and hits the KOD for the pin and the title at 19:09.

Rating: B+. The action was good to great, but what mattered here was the feeling. This felt like the rise of a new champion, with Belair surviving what Lynch threw at her and then winning in the end, showing that she was the better woman when things were even. It came off like the Wrestlemania showdown with the special entrances and gear and I had a great time with the whole deal. Best thing on the show by a mile so far.

Post match Lynch falls out to the floor and collapses as Belair celebrates, giving us a great visual of the fallen former champion and the new queen.

Video on Sasha Banks to fill in more time.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. a mystery opponent. Rollins kept missing opportunities to get to Wrestlemania, which apparently is more important than what you actually do on the show. Finally the solution was “ask Vince McMahon”, who gave him a match against an opponent of Vince’s choosing, making about a month of stupid stories all the more pointless.

Seth Rollins vs. ???

Rollins comes out with a weirdly dressed choir singing his music for a rather Rollins style entrance. We get the big wait until……it’s Cody Rhodes, which was expected but MY GOODNESS the reaction. Rhodes rises up through the stage and comes to the ring as this is where they got me. Your feelings on Cody aside, that wait where I wanted to see who was coming out was the Wrestlemania Moment and it was outstanding.

They stare each other down for a bit and the energy is all back, even with some CODY chants. Feeling out process to start with Rollins grabbing a headlock and shouldering him down. Cody is fine enough to hit the drop down uppercut but neither can hit a finisher. A suplex over the top sends them both crashing to the floor (that’s always a scary one) and Cody pulls him into the post. Back in and Cody grabs the armbar, setting up a short armscissors.

That’s broken up so Rollins hits an enziguri and dropkicks Cody out of the air. There’s a gutbuster to stay on the ribs (Rollins: “Welcome back to the big leagues b****.”) Rollins grabs a bearhug, which looks as out of place as you might expect it to. Cody breaks that up like it’s a bearhug from a guy who isn’t known for his strength and hits the powerslam. With Rollins down on the floor, Cody hits a suicide dive but the Disaster Kick off the steps is countered into a powerbomb into the barricade.

Back in and the Falcon Arrow gives Rollins two but the Stomp is countered into Cross Rhodes for two (because a returning star’s finisher should always only get a near fall). Cody goes up but gets caught in a reverse superplex into D-Von’s lifting reverse DDT for two of his own. The Phoenix Splash misses so they both tease Pedigrees before Rhodes hits a tiger bomb for two.

The Cody Cutter gets the same as the fans are WAY into this. Rollins’ Pedigree gets its own near fall and some Kawada Kicks set up the forearm to the back of the head. Cody isn’t having that so he hits back to back Cross Rhodes…for no cover. Instead it’s the Bionic Elbow into a fourth Cross Rhodes for the pin at 21:34.

Rating: B+. Yeah this was WAY better here than it was watching it live as they had a more modern style match of trading big moves. Cody winning was the only way to go, if nothing else for the sake of not scaring off other AEW stars who might want to come over. I’m not sure what Cody’s ceiling is in WWE, but they absolutely stuck the landing with his return. Great match, after an even better reveal.

Cody gets to soak in some well deserved cheers and kisses the mat because he’s back.

We look at last night’s Hall of Fame ceremony, which featured a cool idea of walking through the wrestlers on the way to the ring. The wrestlers looking scared at the idea of Scott Steiner on a live mic is great, but not as great as Shad Gaspard’s wife telling her son how great Shad was. Vince McMahon introducing Undertaker as Mark Calaway is….just wrong to hear.

Here is the class in person:

Steiner Brothers (they were up there with Demolition for most overdue tag team)
Shad Gaspard (that was a hard one to sit through)
Queen Sharmell (harmless enough)
Vader (how was he not in before)
Undertaker (I’ve seen that Wrestlemania entrance a few times and it will never be anything less than awe inspiring, even with Undertaker in a suit and looking emotional as he thanks the fans)

Video on Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory. The fact that I went to the restroom after it started and it was still going when I got back says this went on too long.

Rick Boogs has wrecked his knee and had to be carried out of the stadium. Apparently he has torn his quadricep patella and will need surgery.

The attendance is 77,899. Assuming reports were correct, that means they sold about 20,000 tickets in three days. I’m sure.

Long video on Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte for the Smackdown Women’s Title. The video compares their successes in their main sports before showing the two of them being ready to clash here.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey

Rousey is challenging and strikes her way out of the corner to put Charlotte in the ropes. A cheap shot has Rousey in trouble but she grabs a rollup for two. That means it’s time for Rousey to adjust her shorts before she sends Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte lands on the apron so Rousey knees her in the face and chokes a bit. The ankle lock goes on with Charlotte still on the apron so she pulls Rousey outside for the break. A posting gives Charlotte two and we hit the front facelock.

Charlotte hits a forearm/clothesline (the replay looked nasty) for two more and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up so Rousey hits a knee for two of her own, followed by…something mistimed out of the corner. Rousey’s middle rope bulldog gets two but Charlotte is back with a spear for the same. A belly to back suplex gives us a double knockdown but it’s Charlotte up first. The double moonsault kind of connects for two so Charlotte ties her in the Tree of Woe.

That means a Boston crab in the ropes of all things but Rousey escapes and judo throws her down. Piper’s Pit can’t connect so they trade some shots to the face for another breather. Another Piper’s Pit is countered but Rousey grabs the ankle lock. That’s reversed into one from Charlotte, who gets rolled into the corner for the escape. The armbar is countered into a powerbomb for two on Rousey but she’s right back with the ankle lock, complete with the grapevine.

Charlotte escapes that as well and we hit the Figure Eight, which is turned over for the escape before they both roll into the ropes. They go outside so Charlotte can hit a fall away slam into the barricade and it’s time for a slugout back inside. Piper’s Pit gives Rousey three but the referee waves it off because of the foot on the ropes. Natural Selection gives Charlotte a very close two but her spear hits the referee. The armbar goes on and Charlotte taps to no referee. Naturally the referee pops up as Rousey yells at him, allowing Charlotte to hit a big boot for the pin at 18:32.

Rating: B-. That was longer than it needed to be and are you surprised that Charlotte was the one to get the first singles win over Rousey? I’m not sure what this means for Rousey but I could go for seeing her turn heel. The smiling stuff just feels fake so let her bring back the Death Stare and be the Rousey that got her here in the first place. The match was a good, back and forth fight but there were some botches in there and Charlotte getting this latest honor made me roll my eyes pretty hard.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

We run down Night Two.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns.

Wrestlemania XXXIX will be in Los Angeles on April 1 and 2, 2023. This is the new normal isn’t it?

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin, which isn’t a match but that’s more or less what we’re seeing here. Owens spent weeks insulting Texas before realizing he needed a path to Wrestlemania. Therefore he invited Austin onto the KO Show, with Austin accepting and promising a fight.

Here is Kevin Owens for the KO Show and yeah the fans don’t seem too happy with him. Owens wastes no time in insulting Texas again, saying that if America was a person, Texas would be the a**. However, he does apologize…for speaking the honest truth about Texas. Owens knows the fans are wanting him to bring Austin out there but it’s going to be on his time. Austin is the worst role model and Owens knows this because he used to look up to him. When Austin comes out here, Owens is going to insult him and if Austin doesn’t like it, it’ll be a Stunner and beer poured over him.

Cue Glass Shatter and WOW that is a reaction. Austin is as over as free beer in a frat house and takes some extra time to soak all of this in, as he should. Hold on though as Austin goes to the back and brings out his ATV to ride to the ring, as he tends to do. The set is promptly destroyed, leaving the two of them and two chairs. Owens says cut the music, leaving Austin to fix his knee brace. This is Owens’ show, so take a seat.

Austin doesn’t like Owens talking trash about Texas, but Owens asks what is so great about this place. Owens rants on Texas clothes and says if he lived here, he would have moved to Mexico (Owens: “It’s right there.”). Austin: “In five seconds, you’re going to have 70,000 people calling you an a******.” That’s fine with Owens, who says he lied to get Austin here. Instead, he doesn’t want to talk, but because he is looking for a fight. Really, Owens is here to challenge Austin to a match. Yeah it has been 19 years and Austin’s knees, back and neck were shot back then and must be even worse here.

Owens is challenging him to a No Holds Barred match right now, which has Austin thinking about it. Austin’s facials here are outstanding as you can see him thinking about going to that place one more time. Owens says either get ready or get on the golf cart and ride out again. Austin says his first match was here in Dallas, and now his last match might be too. He leaves it to the fans and says bring him a referee out here, because this is actually happening.

Steve Austin vs. Kevin Owens

No Holds Barred and my goodness I can’t believe I’m seeing this. They talk trash and the slugout is on, with Austin naturally getting the better of things. A bunch of stomps in the corner have something mudhole related going on and Austin does it again for good measure. They head outside where Austin has a beer, followed by a clothesline and a drop onto the barricade. Owens is back with a posting though and he beats on Austin with a tripod.

It’s table time (that feels so wrong in an Austin match….because Austin is actually having a match) but Owens is sent through it instead. They fight into the crowd, where Owens actually hits a suplex onto the concrete (egads). Back to ringside and Austin is able to slam him off the barricade and onto (not through) the announcers’ table. More beer is consumed and Austin hammers away on the table, followed by more beer.

Owens manages a neck snap across the top but makes the mistake of going over to Austin’s ATV. Austin isn’t having that and jumps him before driving the ATV (with Owens on it) up the ramp. A pair of suplexes on the stage (one per side) have Owens in trouble and Austin throws him back down the ramp. Back in and Austin has some more beer but Owens grabs a Stunner for two. Owens gets a chair but the swing hits the rope and bounces back onto his own head, setting up the real Stunner to give Austin the pin at 13:52.

Rating: B. This is a weird situation as Austin could have come out there and juggled kittens to the biggest reaction of the night. What made this work was the fact that Austin wound up looking good, all things considered. He didn’t have the same explosiveness but that is to be expected after so long away. This was an actual match, albeit a garbage one, but it let Austin have one more moment and that is not something that is easy to pull off whatsoever. Above all else, this was a special moment and I still can’t believe it actually happened.

Post match Austin drinks even more beer and gives Owens another Stunner, leaving Owens to be taken out by some cops. Austin throws a beer to a guy in the crowd, who fumbles it for a funny moment. Austin is glad to be back in Texas…and for some reason Byron Saxton gets in the ring to celebrate with him. Corey Graves is downright giddy, knowing that Saxton is about to get Stunned, which is of course what happens (that was funny). Austin’s brother gets in the ring for a beer with him and Austin celebrates some more to end the show.

After the show was over, Austin celebrated some more and took some laps on his ATV before finally leaving.

Overall Rating: B+. This show took its time getting started but then got on a roll in a hurry by the second half. The last four matches are all good to great and they nailed the three important moments, with Cody’s return, Belair’s win (the whole match really) and then Austin to cap it all off. As usual, WWE knows how to make things work when they’re trying and that was the case here, though the first half was just ok. That being said, this was a pretty solid smash and night two has its work cut out.

Results
Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs – 1D to Nakamura
Drew McIntyre b. Happy Corbin – Claymore
Miz/Logan Paul b. Mysterios – Skull Crushing Finale to Rey
Bianca Belair b. Becky Lynch – KOD
Cody Rhodes b. Seth Rollins – Cross Rhodes
Charlotte b. Ronda Rousey – Big boot
Steve Austin b. Kevin Owens – Stunner

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

In the words of new WWE Hall of Famer Vader, it’s time. It is time for Wrestlemania XXXVIII and that means the card has finally (and I do mean finally) been set. We now know what to expect on each night and the card is…well it certainly exists. There are some interesting matches on both nights, though I’m not sure what to expect from the show. That can make it fun though so let’s get to it.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos(c) vs. Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura

Since the New Day is busy, the Usos actually need someone else to fight for once. That opens the door for Boogs and Nakamura, who at least seem like a team. How can you not be ready for a title match after doing Toyota commercials together? This should be good enough as Nakamura knows how to work well with anyone and Boogs is basically an ox with a guitar.

I’ll go with new champions here, on the grounds of “well, someone has to beat the Usos.” They feel like they have held the titles forever, so let the new team get the belts off of them and have a big guitar celebrity. It isn’t like there is anything else for them to do, so go with what makes sense and change the titles already. I’d call it overdue, but we passed that point months ago. New champs crowned.

New Day vs. Sheamus/Ridge Holland

Speaking of the New Day, we might as well get rid of them here. This is a feud that had already started before Holland accidentally broke Big E.’s neck, but since WWE has some decency, they haven’t used that as a major story point in the feud. I’m not sure what to expect from their match, but there is a story here, even if WWE isn’t actually using it (as they probably shouldn’t).

In theory there is no reason for New Day to lose here so I’ll take them, even if WWE logic would seem to go otherwise. WWE likes having weird results like New Day losing here, even if it makes no sense. Hopefully WWE is going to figure this out (work with me here) and give us the New Day win that it should be, as Holland has already taken out their best friend. Is another loss necessary?

Seth Rollins vs. ???

Now I know what you’re thinking (ok I don’t but work with me here): it’s Cody Rhodes. I know that’s the working theory and it’s probably accurate, but what if it is some other surprise? Like say….Undertaker, who teased wrestling one more time and was inducted into the Hall of Fame this weekend by Vince McMahon. Would it be that big of a shock to see him again?

Yeah probably so we’ll say Rhodes is the opponent and….he wins. I’m not sure what the idea of the whole thing will be, as Rhodes winning means he beat a loser who couldn’t get on the show, but Rollins winning means Rhodes is almost dead in the water upon return. I’ll go with Rhodes winning as it has a bigger upside, but it has been such a strange story for so long now that it’s hard to tell.

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz/Logan Paul

This match feels like it was thrown together for no apparent reason other than to get Paul on the show. Does anyone care about his issues with the Mysterios? It hasn’t been a terrible story, but my goodness does it feel forced. Paul has a following, but is that following going to buy WrestleMania to see him fight a wrestler they have probably never heard of?

This should be a win for the Mysterios as Miz and/or Paul finally get what is coming to them. I say should because I could also see Miz winning to gloat some more, though it would make more sense to go with the family win. While the two of them need to split up at some point, they need to win to make that matter, so we’ll go with the Mysterios winning here to get rid of Paul (again).

Happy Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre

Let’s get this one out of the way too. I have no idea why this is the match we are getting from McIntyre at WrestleMania, as he has been beating up Corbin and Madcap Moss for months. There is almost no chance of Corbin winning here and even WWE does not seem crazy enough to try something like that. I can only hope that something better is coming for McIntyre, but you really can’t tell.

Of course I’ll go with McIntyre to win here, as there is zero reason for him not to. Sometimes the best way to go with the most logical and that is the case here, as there is no reason to not see what you have with McIntyre back in the main event scene. That means taking out Corbin in short order, which is all that this needs to be. Don’t make it any more complicated than that.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch(c) vs. Bianca Belair

I’m scared. This is a match that should be all about Belair getting her win and the title back. That is what they seemed to be teasing….but then Monday Night Raw came along. That was the night when Belair cut part of Lynch’s hair off, which makes me think that Lynch could keep the belt. It would be weird to see Lynch humiliated and beaten in the span of a week, but that might be where we are heading.

For the sake of my sanity, I’ll say Belair gets the title back here, as it is far past the point where Lynch needs to put someone over for the belt. Belair is already popular and successful, so let her get her second WrestleMania title win in two years and be done with Lynch. Either that or make it a hair vs. title match next month, even if that might not be the best idea in the world.

SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte(c) vs. Ronda Rousey

Much like the previous Women’s Title match, it is time. Charlotte hasn’t done much as champion and it would be nice to see her get far, far away from the title picture for a long time. She already has lapped the field when it comes to title wins and it wouldn’t make sense to have her keep it any longer. Certainly not if WWE wants Rousey to be a big star down the line.

I’ll go with Rousey winning here, as WWE doesn’t have much of a choice. Despite Rousey not having anywhere near the same spark that she had in her first run, it is time for her to get the title back so we can see where things take her. Maybe that means a showdown with Lynch for the title, but at some point she has to win and Charlotte has to lose, which is where we are here.

Overall Thoughts

While the show might not look great, there are parts of it that feel awesome. That would include the Women’s Title matches, the Rollins mystery opponent, and of course Steve Austin’s return, which should be a major highlight. Sure it might just be Austin brawling for a bit, but you never know what kind of insanity you might see from the thing. What matters is that it is Wrestlemania, which should be a very fun night. Please be a very fun night.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 82,265
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

We’re back to this show after a year away and I’m not sure what to think about this one. I wasn’t in the stadium for this one and for once that is making me remember the show a little bit better. This whole thing is centered around a few matches, as Wrestlemania always tends to be. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Zelina Vega, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Ruby Riott, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Maria Kanellis, Asuka, Sonya Deville, Candice LeRae, Naomi, Nikki Cross, Lana, Dana Brooke, Mickie James

Only Naomi and Asuka get entrances. Nikki goes nuts to start and it’s a big brawl, as a battle royal should be. Maria is out in a hurry and Asuka knocks out Candice and Nikki back to back. Ember and Naomi trade hurricanranas until the former hits a quick springboard Eclipse on Lana. Another Eclipse gets rid of Naomi and there’s the real version to Mandy. Ember goes up again but Lana (the one in the designated Captain Marvel attire) shoves her out.

Sane hits an Alabama Slam on Lana and goes up like a schnook, only to get shoved to the apron by Logan. Even the bigger schnook, Logan doesn’t eliminate her but rather joins the rest of the Riott Squad to go after Lana. The elimination doesn’t take long but Sane drops Logan. The Insane Elbow connects, only t have the Squad get together and eliminate Sane without much trouble. An assisted flipping Stunner rocks Vega but AGAIN Logan doesn’t get the elimination.

Instead the Squad goes after Asuka and again they don’t eliminate her. Brooke gets to fight off all three of them and manages a slow motion Thesz press on Morgan. Riott goes after Brooke and gets tossed, with Morgan following her out. Brooke’s handspring elbow hits Vega’s knees though and the running knees in the corner make it worse. Rose and Deville get rid of Vega and Brooke, meaning we can get a big hug.

We’re down to Rose, Deville, Asuka, James, Logan and Carmella, the latter of whom seems to be on the floor because that’s something you have to have in battle royals these days. James hurricanranas Rose to the apron and superkicks her out, only to get dropped by Deville. Asuka beats up Logan and Deville at once but she manages to toss Deville. Logan gets rid of Asuka but, say it with me, Carmella is still in and superkicks Logan out for the win at 10:33.

Rating: D. Holy sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and yet we seem to get it in every few battle royals (including last year’s women’s battle royal). I know Carmella getting the win is for the sake of the New York fans but egads this feels like a waste of a match, which tends to be the case with so many of these pre-show battle royals. In other words: more of the same stuff that wasn’t good in the first place.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Revival is defending and picked the match because they thought it would be an easy win. See, Hawkins hasn’t won a match in two and a half years so of course he gets a Wrestlemania title shot (you have to keep the New York crowd happy you see). Dawson shoves Hawkins down to start and then pats him on the cheek in the corner. We get a recap of the Edgeheads as Dawson headlocks Hawkins down.

Ryder comes in as we hear about how the show in “the shadow of New York”, which is acknowledged as New Jersey, likely for one of the only times tonight. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Wilder down but Dawson low bridges him out to the floor. Something close to a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and the armbar goes on. Dawson comes back in and rips at the face before working on his own armbar.

That’s enough of that so Wilder grabs another armbar (he’s up 2-1 on Dawson) to keep Ryder down. Ryder fights up again but neckbreakers his way out of a double suplex. With Hawkins being distracted, the champs cheat to set up a hard clothesline for two more. The assisted legdrop gives Wilder two and we hit the chinlock as this keeps going. Ryder finally suplexes his way to freedom and there’s the hot tag to Hawkins.

House is cleaned until it’s a double clothesline to put Hawkins and Dawson down at the same time. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson but Ryder and Wilder crash out to the floor. Wilder saves Dawson at two and tornado DDTs Ryder on the floor. A brainbuster drops Hawkins outside as well and they’re all down for a bit. Back in and Hawkins is dead but manages a small package for the pin and the titles at 13:20. Hawkins slowly realizing that not only is the match over but that they won is kind of awesome.

Rating: D+. This went on too long but the ending was fine after setting everything up for so long with the losing streak. Hawkins and Ryder are a likable team so it’s not like them winning the titles is a bad idea. Besides, WWE has already taken away anything that the Revival could offer (and yet it would still get worse) so the loss doesn’t do a ton of damage to them anyway.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Otis, Karl Anderson, Andrade, Gran Metalik, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, Colin Jost Jeff Hardy, No Way Jose, Lince Dorado, Bobby Roode, Konnor, Tyler Breeze, Viktor, Luke Harper, Ali, Apollo Crews, Michael Che, Titus O’Neil, Tucker, Braun Strowman, Shelton Benjamin, Jinder Mahal, Matt Hardy, Curtis Axel, Rhyno, Luke Gallows, EC3, Kalisto

So the big deal here is Jost and Che are from Saturday Night Live and Strowman doesn’t like them. The two of them bail to the floor and hide under the ring as Axel is out in about ten seconds. Dorado takes a SCARY bump to the floor with Breeze, EC3 and Benjamin following him out. There goes Dallas as well but it’s time for a staredown with Strowman and Harper.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Titus gets rid of Slater. As expected, Titus is out a few seconds later off a missed charge and Ali gets rid of Jose. Ascension sends Strowman shoulder first into the post for a crash to the floor (through the ropes so no elimination). Anderson isn’t so lucky as he gets tossed and the Hardys do the same to Rhyno. Roode and Metalik are out next as the ring is starting to empty a bit.

Andrade tosses Kalisto onto Metalik but Gable rolls Andrade with German suplexes. Since it’s Gable though, Andrade throws him out in a hurry, leaving Otis to hit a double Caterpillar on the Ascension. They’re both out as well but Strowman is back in to get rid of Gallows, Tucker and Otis in a row. There goes Mahal as Harper tries to suplex Ali over the top. With Ali hanging upside down, Strowman kicks Harper out, nearly dropping Ali on his head in a very near miss.

We’re down to Strowman, Andrade, Matt, Jeff and Crews in the ring with Che and Jost still underneath the ring. Andrade and Crews go to the apron and Andrade tries a hurricanrana for no intelligent reason in a double elimination. Strowman puts the Hardys on the apron in the battle of North Carolina as Che and Jost get back inside. They can’t get rid of Strowman, who dumps the Hardys and is ready for the destruction.

Jost grabs a mic though and says this doesn’t need to end in violence. He presents his personal therapist, whose breathing exercises earn him a chokeslam. Che tries to eliminate himself but Strowman punches himself out instead. Strowman misses a charge and almost gets eliminated but powers through it and tosses Jost for the win at 10:27.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s stupid and the SNL guys added nothing to the whole thing but Strowman won in the end and there were some nice spots (granted they went with some scary ones) throughout. It isn’t anything better or worse than your usual “get them all in there” battle royal and it could have been worse. That’s high praise for something like this anymore.

And with that Smackdown length Kickoff Show out of the way, we can get on with the real show. Isn’t modern WWE great?

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful and we get the big helicopter flyover.

The opening video, complete with a WWE Presents, features the wrestlers talking about how Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage. Tonight, this is their stage and they are the players. We get the classic moments of course because this show is built around history. They do a good job of starting this slowly and then building it up into a big feeling. As usual, WWE’s promo videos are nothing short of incredible and somehow they manage to get better a lot of the time. That being said, wrestlers calling themselves storytellers doesn’t sound right.

Maybe it’s how many times I’ve heard the song on highlight packages since then, but that Love Runs Out theme song is really catchy.

Here’s Alexa Bliss, the host for the evening, to open things up. Bliss talks about how this show needs a goddess and if she snaps her fingers, she can make a Wrestlemania moment. A snap of her fingers produces Hulk Hogan, who is happy to be back here in the Silverdome. That gets a chuckle so then he calls it the MetLife Center in a joke that doesn’t go over as well. Hogan and Bliss pose together in a cute moment.

Hold on though as Paul Heyman storms out and says we’re doing the Universal Title match RIGHT NOW. The faster Lesnar wins, the faster he can go to Las Vegas where he is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending after winning the Royal Rumble and gets a big BEAST SLAYER intro. At least BURN IT DOWN gets a big reaction so they’re doing something right. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and knees Rollins off the apron. An F5 plants Rollins on the floor and a hard whip into the barricade makes it even worse. Rollins gets tossed over the announcers’ table as the beating is on in a big way. That’s not enough for Lesnar so he throws Rollins over another table before throwing Rollins inside.

Heyman and Lesnar talk the angry trash but it’s back to the floor before the opening bell. Cole: “Seth Rollins never had a chance!” And there’s your usual WWE line that gives away the ending. Brock throws Rollins over the announcers’ table for a third time and then through the cover of the announcers’ table. They go back in for the opening bell and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar: “SUPLEX CITY B******!” Give him his t-shirt money.

The second suplex sends him flying again as Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in. The F5 is countered though and Rollins gets in a low blow. That means a low superkick and three straight Stomps make Rollins champion at 2:30. It was an exciting start and the whole thing from Lesnar’s first attack ran about 7:00. They had to get the title onto Rollins here (though more importantly off of Lesnar) and this was certainly a memorable way to do it. Certainly more so than when they did it again in a longer form four and a half months later.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

This is your “here are two big names without much else to do” match. Orton eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber and they got in an argument about who built Smackdown. Orton’s big CGI snakes really don’t look great but those things are hit and miss for everyone. AJ headlocks him to start and is promptly driven into the corner. A very early threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the corner and it’s another standoff.

Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick to take over, including a boot across the eye to make it even worse. AJ gets in his own dropkick though as they’re pretty even in the early minutes. With Orton taking a breather on the floor, AJ scores with the slingshot forearm, only to get knocked off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and the chinlock goes on as the fans start chanting something I can’t understand.

That’s broken up so AJ hits the sliding forearm, setting up the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. An early Styles Clash attempt is countered into a powerslam to give Orton his own near fall as the slow pace continues. The Calf Crusher attempt is countered without much trouble but the second attempt is slapped on in the middle of the ring. Not that the fans are exactly interested but AJ did get it on. That’s broken up in a hurry so AJ heads to the apron for the Phenomenal Forearm.

Orton jumps up to RKO him out of the air (as he had done last week) but AJ holds back, leaving Orton to crash. The springboard 450 gets two but Orton is right back with the backbreaker. Orton’s rather good looking top rope superplex has AJ crashing down for two and an uppercut gets a crazy loud pop (that had to be for something else). The hanging DDT gets no reaction but Orton walking around does, as I’m almost scared to imagine what had the fans’ attention.

AJ hits an enziguri to block the RKO, only to walk into it on the second attempt. That’s only good for two as well and Orton is shocked. With nothing else working, Orton loads up a super RKO, which is escaped without a lot of effort. A Pele sends Orton to the floor and the Phenomenal Forearm knock him even sillier. Back in and Orton still can’t hit the RKO, meaning it’s another Phenomenal Forearm to give AJ the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C-. Things got a bit better by the end but it never got going at any intense level. These two are capable of a lot but it was rather slow paced for the most part and when the match is going that long, it can get pretty tiresome in a hurry. It’s not bad in any sense but it wasn’t exciting and you know these two could do a lot better. That makes it more frustrating than anything else, as I kept waiting for them to get going and they never really did.

Here’s Lacey Evans to continue doing her thing of walking around, smiling, and then walking back.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bar vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

The Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. There is something so awesome about seeing the look on Ricochet’s face as he walks onto the stage. You can see what it means to him and there is no faking that kind of a feeling. This also marks Ricochet and Black’s third shot at different titles this week, after Raw and NXT title shots earlier in the week. Jimmy and Black start things off with a feeling out process until Sheamus tags himself in to face Black.

The armbar doesn’t last long as Rusev tags Sheamus and runs Black over. Nakamura comes in for a kick to the back but the rapid fire tags continue, with Jimmy coming in to Samoa drop Black. Nakamura kicks Jimmy into a tag to Ricochet, who does a very spinny headscissors on Cesaro. Since it’s just a headscissors though, Cesaro uppercuts Ricochet down and starts swinging him, as Sheamus forearms everyone else.

After a nearly 40 second swing (geez), the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring. Black makes the save and strikes away, setting up a springboard moonsault for two on Rusev. Nakamura is back in with some running knees to Black, meaning Ricochet has to make a save of his own. That earns him a swinging Rock Bottom from Rusev and it’s time for the nine man Tower of Doom. Just to show off, Ricochet flips out and lands safely in the corner, setting up the 630 for two on Sheamus. We hit the parade of kicks to the face with the Usos superkicking Sheamus down. The Double Us retains the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was almost all action from bell to bell and that’s all you can do with a match like this one. Let them do whatever they want and get in spot after spot for a little while. They didn’t overstay their welcome either, as this match got in the right amount of time. Good stuff here and one of the more entertaining things all night so far.

Hall of Fame recap. Thankfully Bret being attacked isn’t mentioned whatsoever.

Here’s the class being presented in the stadium:

Honky Tonk Man (How was he not in yet?)

Harlem Heat (Perfectly fine.)

Torrie Wilson (The new low benchmark.)

Brutus Beefcake (Again, how was he not in yet?)

Hart Foundation (Should have been earlier so Neidhart could be there but long overdue as well.)

Sue Aitchison (Warrior Award.)

D-Generation X (I’m sure they had to twist their arms to get here. Deserved of course.)

We recap Miz vs. Shane McMahon. Somehow Shane won the World Cup despite not being in the tournament and Miz, the man he replaced in the finals, was jealous. Miz’s dad thought they should team together so they won the Tag Team Titles. The reign didn’t last long though and they split up, with Shane turning on Miz. Tonight, it’s Falls Count Anywhere. This was in the middle of Shane’s RIDICULOUS run near the top of Smackdown where he was all over the show and beating main eventers, including that Tag Team Title win. Of course he gets a big Wrestlemania match, because that’s what makes sense for such a star.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere, but hang on as Shane needs to hear his introduction three times in a row. With that out of the way, Shane bails to the floor at the bell so the chase is on, with Shane hitting his horrible punches. In a smart move, Shane grabs Miz’s dad (in the front row) and again, the chase goes badly for Miz as Shane hammers away. They head outside again with Shane loading up the announcers’ table.

A monitor shot to the head puts Miz on the table but Miz’s dad blocks the big elbow. Shane gets down so Miz’s dad gets inside for the showdown, with Miz’s dad doing the pose that launched a subplot on the upcoming season of Miz and Mrs. Shane takes him into the corner and stomps away, drawing Miz back in for the beating. They fight to to the floor with Shane falling over the barricade but hold on as Miz wants someone to check on his dad.

With the medics doing their job, Miz dives over the barricade to take Shane down again. They fight over towards one of the big pillars that holds up the canopy over the ring but Shane fights out of the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead Shane grabs a DDT for two but Miz kicks him down off the stage. Shane is sent knee first into a barricade and Miz beats on him with a chair to blow off some more steam.

They wreck announcers’ row with Miz throwing him over every chair he can find, plus throwing some chairs around. Shane gets sent through a table for two, followed by a monitor shot to knock him over a barricade and onto the top of a well placed golf cart. That gives Miz a delayed two so he punches Shane up towards a production tower. A Skull Crushing Finale onto the platform gets two, because he’s Shane and Miz is just a former World Champion.

Shane fights back (of course) and climbs up to the top of the tower. Miz pursues so Shane begs off, even dropping to one knee. That earns him some left hands to the head and Miz superplexes him all the way down (after asking if Shane is ready) onto a crash pad. Worry not though as Shane lands on top for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: D-. I knew the ending was coming here and I still shake my head at the ending. Shane is the boss’ son but my goodness how hard can you push him? The worst part is that it is only going to get worse as the summer goes on, but this was a punch to the gut as Shane wins AGAIN, meaning he isn’t going away anytime soon. The superplex was a nice idea but showing the landing on the pad (which just happened to be there) took away all of the impact that it had. That is, whatever was left before Shane won of course.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Banks and Bayley are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Bret Hart is here with Beth and Natalya (who really feel like fill ins for Trish Stratus/Lita), though he doesn’t go beyond the stage. Tamina shoves Bayley down to start and superkicks Natalya for a bonus. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Nia being sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and Peyton rolls Sasha up for two and it’s a double kick to put drop Sasha again.

The Hardys’ Spin Cycle gets two on Banks but she’s right back with a backslide for the same. It’s back to Bayley for a sliding clothesline for two on Beth but Billie tags herself in. The IIconics take over on Beth, who is right back with a suplex to both of them at once. Natalya comes in for two but Bayley makes a fast save. The champs get in a fight with Beth and Natalya and it’s a Bank Statement to Phoenix. That’s broken up but the Glam Slam is countered into a rollup into the corner.

Natalya drops Sasha onto Bayley and they get the always fairly dumb looking double Sharpshooter treatment. This time it’s Tamina making the save and Nia comes back in to wreck everyone else. The IIconics get crushed with stereo Samoan drops but Beth shoves Nia off the top to break up a splash. Sasha takes Beth down as well and Bayley drops the top rope elbow, followed by Banks’ frog splash. The Tower of Doom is broken up so Beth hits a super Glam Slam on Bayley, with Kay making a blind tag. With Beth sent outside, Kay steals the pin and the titles at 10:47.

Rating: D. This went on too long and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. The titles were brand new at this point and they already seemed pretty worthless, which would be proven over the next year. The fallout here is more interesting than the match itself, as you Nia would go away for about a year with double ACL surgery and Sasha (allegedly) threw a fit over losing and took the summer off.

The pilots from the Kickoff Show flyover are in the crowd. That’s always cool.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Kofi replaced the injured Ali in the Elimination Chamber and got down to the final two. That set up one of the most dramatic things that WWE has ever done, as Kofi got inches away from winning the title and the fans ate it up. It was clear that Kofi had to get the title at Wrestlemania or he never would, which sent Kofi and New Day into a crusade to finally get the title shot that had eluded him for eleven years.

After jumping through all kinds of hoops set by Vince McMahon, it took New Day winning a gauntlet match to get the shot, with their longtime rivals the Usos stepping aside in a great show of respect for Kofi. At the same time, Bryan said that Kofi was a B+ player in an awesome role reversal from his legendary run five years earlier.

The match was finally set and it was a heck of a story, as Kofi had put in so many years of building credibility to get here and was finally cashing in. This wasn’t JBL jumping up to the main event scene, as Kofi had pretty much won every title other than the World Title. That’s not a big jump, but it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger here. In other words, this was EXCELLENT and would have headlined any other year.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging and has New Day in his corner, while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a gift for Kofi and promises it for after the match. I had forgotten how nice of a touch Bryan’s eco-friendly belt really was. They stare each other down to start and the fans are behind Kofi, which is almost hard to fathom until you realize that Bryan might be a better heel than face. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get anywhere so they fight over a backslide. Bryan monkey flips him so Kofi lands on his feet, setting up a dropkick to the floor.

The big dive takes Bryan down again and the roster is behind Kofi in the back. Things slow down a bit as Bryan needs a breather with Rowan. Back in and Bryan uppercuts him a few times to set up the surfboard, which always looks awesome. That’s broken up in a hurry as usual, allowing Kofi to kick away in the corner. Bryan’s moonsault into the running clothesline is countered into something resembling the standing double stomp (almost a Thesz press as Kofi can’t hit it properly) for two.

Kofi’s jumping clothesline works a bit better and the Boom Drop connects. Bryan heads outside again so Kofi tries a springboard dive, which lands ribs first on the announcers’ table. You don’t have to ask Bryan twice to go after the ribs like that so he drops Kofi ribs first across the top rope. The ribs get sent into the corner and it’s off to a waistlock, which works a lot better this time around. Kofi fights up and elbows in the corner but a very quick Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Boston crab.

Bryan’s belly to back superplex is broken up with elbows to the face and Kofi hits a top rope splash to the back for two. They slug it out but Trouble in Paradise is countered again, only to countered into a small package to give Kofi two more. Kofi’s crossbody is rolled through though and Bryan pulls him into a failed LeBell Lock attempt so they’re both down for a second. The running knee is countered into the SOS but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock, with Bryan letting go for some more elbows to the ribs.

Kofi finally gets his foot on the rope and you can hear the sigh of relief. Bryan YES Kicks at the ribs even more but Kofi fires up and tells Bryan to kick him even harder. As Bryan backs away, Kofi throws his own kicks and busts out a reverse suplex for two. They head outside again so Rowan can go after New Day, earning himself Trouble in Paradise. The Midnight Hour on the floor takes care of Rowan and Kofi blocks Bryan’s suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits the running knee…..for two and a big pop on the kickout. Bryan has had it and unloads with stomps to the head to set up the LeBell Lock. Kofi breaks out again and blasts Bryan with forearms to the face with more aggression than you usually see from him. Bryan won’t let go of the wrist so Kofi stomps him right back, knocking Bryan silly. Trouble in Paradise gives Kofi the clean pin and the title at 23:45.

Rating: A. That is the definition of the Wrestlemania moment and it holds up to perfection a year later. The fans completely bought into the idea of Kofi fighting through everything and winning the title in the end and that’s all it should have been. Kofi is the kind of guy who has been around forever and built up so much good will that when he finally went after the title, everyone was on his side. That made for a special moment and it was amazing throughout as it’s something that I never thought I would see, but here it is. That’s a great thing to see as rare as it can be.

On top of that, this was an awesome match with both guys giving it everything they had. The story here was perfect with Kofi not being the wrestler Bryan was but knowing that this was his one shot and giving everything he had to achieve his dream when he could. The fans believed in him and there was no way he could lose in this spot. Outstanding stuff and if not for the historic main event, this would have headlined in a landslide. Watch this again and smile a lot.

Post match Woods and Big E. pull out the classic WWE Championship and hand it to Kofi for the first time (Kofi kneeling in the ring and waiting to have it presented to him is a great visual). The pyro goes off and Kofi’s sons get in the ring to celebrate with him and one of them holds up the title, which is almost bigger than he is. We’re not done yet though as Big E. brings in the present from earlier. It’s the first New Day shirt featuring Kofi as champion and his kids get to hold them up for a perfect visual. Woods: “THEY SAID WE COULDN’T MAKE IT! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!” Outstanding.

Che and Jost are banged up so Bliss introduces them to Dr. Scott Hall and Dr. Kevin Nash. Ok then.

Booker T. is the next guest commentator.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and this year’s comic gear is…..well Mysterio appropriately enough. Now how did he never do that one before? Joe kicks him in the face but Rey is right back with the springboard hurricanrana. The 619 connects but Joe pulls him out of the air into the Koquina Clutch and Rey is out at 1:00, which may have something to do with Rey injuring his ankle on Monday. Booker being annoyed at wasting all the time on prep work is good for a chuckle.

Sneak peak of Batista’s new movie Stuber.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns returned from leukemia after a four month absence and he needs a first victim. Drew has run through the rest of the Shield as a bonus. This is your likely layup result of the show and that’s fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew gets played to the ring by the New York Bagpipe Band. They trade shots to the face to start so Reigns snaps off a Samoan drop for an early two. McIntyre is right back with a spinebuster into a jackknife cover for two of his own. The Glasgow Kiss knocks Reigns down again and McIntyre throws him into the corner for two. The chinlock/armbar goes on until Reigns powers out and knocks him to the floor. Reigns’ running kick to the face is blocked though and McIntyre suplexes him down.

Back in and the reverse Alabama slam gives McIntyre two so he takes Reigns up top. That earns him a crotching, only to have Drew pull himself up from the Tree of Woe to send Reigns flying with a belly to belly superplex. Reasons of general heelishness cause McIntyre to slap him in the face, meaning the comeback is on. McIntyre gets knocked outside again for the Samoan drop on the floor, followed by the Superman Punch back inside. The spear finishes McIntyre at 10:06.

Rating: D. The fans didn’t care and why should they have? As usual, it was clear that Reigns was going to win and that happens far too often at Wrestlemania. It’s amazing that Reigns got to come back here but it’s Reigns, who almost always wins, winning again in a match where the ending was obvious throughout. Nothing to see here, and the fans were silent throughout.

Post match Reigns gets to pose in a rather emotional moment.

Here’s Elias for his self described greatest performance ever. He’s on screen playing drums, with a second Elias joining him on piano and the real thing in the ring playing guitar. They jam for a bit and guitar Elias says the other two deserve a standing ovation. Elias teases more members of the band and gets in his catchphrase before loading up the song….but here’s a SPECIAL BULLETIN on Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series.

Cue John Cena in Dr. of Thuganomics gear and the fans seem rather pleased. Cena raps about how he’s about to turn heel and how bad his own movies are. WWE doesn’t stand for Walk With Elias because it really means Wasted Wrestling Experiment. We get a nuts joke, followed by the FU to leave Elias laying. They have history together so this was as good as you were going to get. This was funny for a change if nothing else and that’s a cool Wrestlemania feeling.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Back at Smackdown 1000, Batista had mentioned that HHH never beat him but laughed it off. Then in February, Ric Flair was having a 70^th birthday celebration but Batista attacked him, while asking HHH if he had his attention. This set up the match, with Batista demanding that HHH give him what he wanted (over and over and over). HHH has put up his career just in case the ending was in the slightest bit of doubt.

Shawn Michaels is guest commentator.

Batista vs. HHH

No holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista goes out to glare at Shawn but here’s HHH, riding in a Mad Max style cart because of course he is. Batista drives him straight into the corner to start so HHH is back with some right hands to the face. A backdrop sends Batista outside but he throws HHH over the announcers’ table in a crash. HHH is right back up with a ram into the barricade and busts out a chain to whip Batista over the back.

The chain is pulled into Batista’s mouth (Shawn: “That’s not going to help his movie career.”) and HHH whips him into the steps. To ramp up the pain, HHH busts out some pliers to bend Batista’s fingers around a bit. HHH isn’t done with the toolbox so he grabs some needle nose pliers and ribs Batista’s nose ring out. To be fair, that thing looked horrible. Cole: “HHH just ripped a nose ring out of the nose of Batista.” So the nose ring in his ear is still intact.

Batista’s nose is good enough to drop HHH onto the announcers’ table and then he does it again onto a different one. A chair to the back sets up the shoulders in the corner for two as things have slowed way down. Batista slams him down for two more and let’s go outside again. The steps are set on the table and another table is cleared off as this is taking quite a long time for one big spot.

The huge Batista Bomb through the table is countered with a backdrop onto (not through) the other table and they’re both down again. HHH gets up, spinebusters him through the table, and we get another breather. HHH pulls out the sledgehammer but it’s a spear to cut him down for two. This time it’s HHH knocking the sledgehammer away from Batista, earning himself a spinebuster in the process. The Batista Bomb, which makes HHH drop the sledgehammer again, connects for two.

With nothing else working, Batista brings in the steps but goes up top for some reason. That reason would be so HHH can powerbomb him onto the steps, setting up a Pedigree for two (Because this MUST KEEP GOING!). They’re both down again so here’s Flair to slip HHH the sledgehammer. HHH gets up and uses the steps as a launchpad to hammer Batista in the head. Since that’s not enough to pin him (or KILL HIM as it probably should have), Batista pops up to take the Pedigree for the pin at 25:45.

Rating: D. Why does HHH do this? They could have had the same match with at least ten minutes chopped off but for some reason we needed to get HHH’s latest big epic match, no matter how much people aren’t interested in seeing it. This was terrible with Batista looking like a shell of his glory days (fair enough) and the match going WAY longer than it should have. Horrible match, and did you expect anything else given this style of match’s history?

The B Team model Daniel Bryan WWE Champion shirts but here’s Ron Simmons for the joke.

JBL is your next guest commentator.

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s retirement match as he can barely get in the ring without injuring himself these days and needs to limp away for good. Corbin is here because we all did something horrible in a past life. Angle goes after him to start but gets knocked into the corner to put him in early trouble. Corbin takes it to the corner and pounds away before mocking Angle’s family a bit. A missed middle rope ax handle sends Corbin throat first into the rope so Angle snaps off some suplexes for two.

Angle walks into a big boot but is fine enough to grab a quickly broken ankle lock. Deep Six gives Corbin two more but he misses a charge, allowing the Angle Slam to connect for two. The straps come down and the ankle lock goes on until Corbin rolls him into the corner for the break. Corbin throws in a You Can’t See Me so Angle punches him into more rolling German suplexes. The moonsault misses though and the End of Days finishes Kurt’s career at 5:59.

Rating: D. Angle does seem fine with putting Corbin over on the way out but this was another step in the seemingly eternal nonsense that was/is the Corbin push. It’s a lot to take and while I can live with Angle going out on his back, it’s a lot to take because Corbin really is going way above his pay grade every time he’s in a match like this.

Post match Angle thanks the fans and asks for one more YOU SUCK chant for the road.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with Lio Rush, is defending and they’ve traded the title, so tonight it’s the Demon to make the match feel big. Balor gets a special entrance by coming down off a raised platform, though it’s not as creepy as his NXT entrances. Lashley has very bright green contacts in for some reason. Some early dropkicks put Lashley on the floor and Balor takes him out with a dive for a bonus.

A hard drive into the apron cuts Balor off though and there’s a suplex to make it worse. Lashley clotheslines him hard to the floor but a Sling Blade gets Balor out of trouble. Rush’s distraction lets Lashley hit a HARD spear through the ropes though and a regular one gets two back inside. Balor fights out of a powerbomb and hits one of his own, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 4:01.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for something that was going so fast but at the same time, the booking still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Balor has already shown that he can beat Lashley so now he needs to bring up the powers to win? And the extraordinary thing was just a powerbomb? I’m glad to see the Demon again but this wasn’t exactly the most logical thing in the world.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the attendance record of 82,265. Cue R-Truth and Carmella for the Wrestlemania Dance Break (Remember those?).

We recap the main event of Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte defending against Becky Lynch in a winner take all match. Rousey is the unstoppable force, Charlotte is Charlotte and Becky is here because she’s the hottest name in wrestling at the moment and won the Royal Rumble. Tonight the winner leaves with both titles and it’s the biggest women’s match in history.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging both. In a nod to her father and the Four Horsemen, Charlotte lance in a helicopter outside and walks into the stadium. Already inside, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play Rousey to the ring. There is something so cool about watching Becky walk down the ramp in a wide shot as Cole talks about how she has started a movement. I’m not sure if that is the right term but it looked awesome. The bell rings and even a year later I still can’t believe this happened. The women’s division was a joke just a few years ago and now it’s the biggest match of the year. That’s hard to believe and it’s very cool.

They stare at each other for a good bit to start until Becky goes after Rousey’s arm. Rousey kicks her to the floor without much trouble and that means a Samoan drop into the barricade. Charlotte follows and takes Piper’s Pit but pops right back up for a fall away slam to send Rousey into the barricade for a change. That sets up the required Charlotte vs. Becky fight with Becky getting the better of things but can’t get the Figure Four, allowing Rousey to come and hammer away.

Charlotte breaks up an armbar attempt but gets pulled into a triangle choke over the ropes. Becky hits a running dropkick though and Rousey falls HARD onto the floor in a nasty crash. That leaves Charlotte to knee Becky in the head as the fans get behind Becky in a big way. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees and Becky gets the Disarm-Her but Rousey make the save in a hurry. A double Natural Selection gives Charlotte two each and it’s Becky going outside this time.

For some reason Charlotte tries to slug it out with Rousey, earning herself a knee to the head. Charlotte pulls her into a Boston crab, drawing Becky in for her own save. Becky and Charlotte slug it out again until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Charlotte gets caught up top with a super Bexploder for two but Rousey drops both of them with a high crossbody for a double near fall. The double armbar goes on so Becky and Charlotte powerbomb her for the break. It took three attempts but they finally got out.

Everyone is down for a bit until Becky hits a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte. Rousey goes after Becky and gets pulled straight into the Disarm-Her so she uses the ropes to power up in the corner. That’s fine with Becky, who puts it on again in the corner until Charlotte boots her in the face. Charlotte’s super Spanish Fly gets two but she might have banged up her knee. Rousey’s knee is banged up as well so Charlotte stomps away and grabs the Figure Four around the post.

After sending Becky into the barricade, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but Becky dives in off the top for another save. Just because, let’s bring in a table but Charlotte decks Becky for taking too long to set it up. Rousey shoves Charlotte off the top and turns the table over because she doesn’t need it. A double spear takes down Becky and Rousey so Charlotte sets up the table in the corner.

Charlotte sends Rousey face first into the table and spears Becky for two more. Back up and Charlotte gets hiptossed through the table, leaving Becky and Rousey to have the slugout we’ve been waiting for. They throw some serious hands but Piper’s Pit is countered into a crucifix (with Rousey’s shoulder a good six inches off the mat in a bad botch) to give Becky both titles at 21:28.

Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t watch it in one sitting this time around but I liked the match a good bit better on a second viewing. These three beat each other up and while Becky winning was the presumed finish, it wasn’t entirely a lock given who she was in there against. It was a heck of a fight and the three of them all came out looking great. This is much more historic than good, but it’s really rather good and that’s always a positive way to go out.

Rousey is ticked as Becky celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The positives are better than the negatives but not by much. There are some flat out bad matches on here but they are overcome by some great feelings with the faces winning all of the big matches for a change. That felt like an old school style as for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t cut the fans off for the sake of dragging things out until later. For once it felt like a season finale and that’s what Wrestlemania should be when it gets the chance. Good show, but it could have been a lot better.

How you ask? CUT THE SHOW DOWN! Look at how long this show is and tell me that it’s well put together. There is no need for a sixteen match card, especially with some of the matches that feel tacked on. All three Tag Team Title matches feel like they’re here for the sake of being here and some of the matches just need to be shortened. Either that or find a way to get people to the ring faster. I know it seems simple but how much of these shows are spent on ring entrances alone? Just find a way to shorten things, please.

Overall there are more good things than bad, but this isn’t a show that you need to watch in one sitting. As soon as you get to the point where the show is five hours plus an episode of Smackdown before it starts (and a Smackdown with more wrestling than usual at that), you’re hitting a firm ceiling of how much you can enjoy this. I know you can’t cut out big chunks, but find a way to get this under six hours. Do that and it’s a lot better, but that has been the case for years now and it keeps getting longer. Either way, at least we had enough nice stuff on here, but don’t watch it all at once.

Ratings Comparison

Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: C+

Redo: C

Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Original: C

Redo: D+

Men’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar vs. Aleister Black/Ricochet

Original: C+

Redo: B

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Original: D

Redo: D

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

Redo: A

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C-

Redo: D

Batista vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: D

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: F

Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C

Redo: C

Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same all around, but some of those earlier ones are a good bit off. Still though, too long, despite some of the very good parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxv-so-much-for-no-happy-endings/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Chloe x Hallie

I’m not sure if it’s because I was in the stadium last year or something else, but this show was actually a bit more memorable than the previous few editions. Hopefully it’s just as good watching it back but you never can tell with these things. Brock Lesnar is defending the Universal Title against Roman Reigns in the main event because of course he is so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

JR and Jerry Lawler come out for commentary with Byron Saxton for a bit of a feel good moment. It’s a brawl to start with English getting backdropped out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Anderson dumps Konnor and Ziggler starts his tradition of hanging on to avoid elimination. There goes Hawkins as we still need to clear out a lot of the ring. Former partners R-Truth and Goldust shake hands with Goldust eliminating him, cutting off JR’s Bearcat Wright’s references.

Primo is out next as there’s almost nothing between these eliminations. Kanellis gets tossed and Ziggler hangs on again. Things settle down a bit unto Apollo knees Breeze as JR mocks Ziggler for always having to save himself. Viktor is gone too and the Revival beats on Ryder but he’s right back up. The Broski Boot is loaded up on Ziggler (JR: “Ziggler in trouble. Again.”) but Rawley Pounces Ryder out in a nice touch. A Liger kick from Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows as we take a break.

Apollo getting backdropped out and Benjamin follows him…and let’s look at the announcers. We come back with Rhyno and the Revival gone and Kane eliminating Axel and Dallas. And now, we look at John Cena in the crowd as a fan, because I had forgotten about that stupid story. Back with Sin Cara eliminated by Corbin and Fandango dancing at Kane, earning himself an elimination off a single uppercut.

Corbin gets rid of Slater and Kane eliminates Gable, leaving us with the big power showdown. Everyone else jumps the monsters and it’s a superkick to Titus, setting a clothesline to get rid of him. We’re down to Corbin, Dillinger, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Hardy and Kane as Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams on Dillinger. That’s broken up by Ziggler so Goldust ties him up for Shattered Dreams as well. Dillinger takes the kick but Ziggler eliminates Goldust.

That leaves us with a TEN vs. DELETE battle with a Twist of Fate and Dillinger is gone. Kane tosses Ziggler but gets eliminated by Corbin to get us down to Corbin, Hardy and Rawley. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the villains go for the elimination….but here’s the returning Bray Wyatt for Sister Abigail into an elimination for Rawley. Corbin drops Wyatt but gets backdropped out to give Matt the win at 16:36.

Rating: D+. It was a battle royal that got a lot of time and wasn’t all that interesting. The ending was a cool moment and it’s the best way to get everyone on the card, even if most of these people mean a grand total of nothing. It’s not a good match or even anything memorable, but at least it got the crowd warmed up….with an hour to go before the show itself starts.

Post match Matt thanks Bray and we get a hug, which JR deems a Wrestlemania moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Dana Brooke, Becky Lynch, Sarah Logan, Lana, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Natalya, Dakota Kai, Mickie James, Taynara Conti, Ruby Riott, Kairi Sane, Sasha Banks, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Bayley

This was going to be the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal but history intervened and it’s just a regular battle royal this time around. Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary and the former has some advice: don’t get thrown over the top rope. Becky comes out first, everyone else comes out, followed by Sasha and Bayley to fill out the field. Miss Money in the Bank Carmella (erg) poses with the briefcase to start and everyone gangs up on her for the easy elimination.

Deville, who got the elimination, poses in the big circle of women but Dana gets thrown in the middle instead. That means trash talk from Brooke and the big beatdown is on with Mandy tossing Dana. The NXT women team up to send the main roster women outside (through the ropes rather than over, which I can’t stand in battle royals) so we can get the WE ARE NXT pose.

Becky yells at Devi about orange being HER COLOR as some of the main roster women get back in. Kai eliminates Mandy as Paige declares Deville her favorite member of Absolution. We stop for the NXT women to triple team Deville, setting up Belair’s 450, because THAT MAKES SENSE IN A BATTLE ROYAL! Deville is out and we take a break, coming back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow thanks to more ganging up on Riott during the break.

Lana and Devi are tossed and Conti gets kicked out by the Squad. Becky and Belair have a less than thrilling slugout and the hair whip is incredibly loud. Belair misses a charge though and gets kicked out, followed by Kai kicking Naomi in the face. Banks gets rid of Kai without much effort and there goes Becky to a chorus of boos (I think Becky will be fine). Ruby knocks Mickie out and it’s Royce’s turn to kick people in the face.

Logan powerbombs her out as well though and we’re down to Morgan, Logan, Riott, Bayley, Banks, Natalya and Naomi, who is out on the floor (oh dear). For some reason Natalya decides to pose with her back turned to the Squad but manages to suplex Ruby and Sarah at the same time.

Bayley saves Sasha from a suplex and helps get rid of Natalya. Morgan is out as well and there goes Ruby. Banks sends Logan to the apron and Bayley knocks her out, leaving us with Banks and Bayley. The fans actually get on their feet to cheer for this one and the handshake…lets Bayley throw Banks out to a big reaction but Naomi gets back in for the Rear View. That’s enough for the win at 9:39.

Rating: F+. I had forgotten how annoying that ending was but it makes you realize just how stupid this whole thing was. Bayley and Banks would go on to have their weird semi-feud and then partnership over the year while Naomi has done NOTHING important since this match. You have something here with Bayley and the bright idea is to do the HAHA WE TRICKED YOU ending? That’s been done to death in battle royals and it’s not like this was anything more than a surprise ending, which was really stupid given how Bayley had been searching for anything important for the last year. This actually ticked me off again so well done.

Jojo introduces Chloe and Hallie to sing America the Beautiful, describing them as the “future of music”. Well if Jojo says it then it must be true.

The opening video shows shots of parties in New Orleans and, just like in 2014, features a tagline of Let The Good Times Roll. They couldn’t come up with anything else in four years? And the theme song is still Celebrate by Kid Rock. Ok it’s a catchy song, but is there nothing else (or no one else) that they could use?

Yay pyro! And cool set with the Mardi Gras mask, which looked awesome all night long.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl and looking not quite directly at the far post on the right side opposite the hard camera.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and we get the new idea this year: 3D graphics for some of the entrances, including Miz who gets the Miz logo and various words to describe him, including MOVIE STAR. Miz sends the Miztourage to the back because he wants to do this himself for his newborn daughter. The weird part is you couldn’t see those in the stadium (obviously) but you could see them on the screens around the building, which made your head snap around a few times.

Balor isn’t the Demon here, but instead comes out with a bunch of LGBT people in rainbow Balor Club shirts labeled FOR EVERYONE. If nothing else, it’s awesome to see the stadium doing the Balor pose at once. This was set up with both guys beating Miz in one night, because Balor beating Miz after Miz had a long match with Rollins is totally the same thing.

They all go for the way too early rollups to start with Miz being sent outside. That means Rollins can miss a Stomp on Balor but a superkick to the ribs works just fine. Balor sends Rollins outside though and it’s the big running flip dive onto both of them for the first major pop of the night. Back in and basement dropkick gives Balor two on Miz but Rollins is back in with a high crossbody.

Miz finally gets to do something other than get beaten up as we look at Cena in the crowd again. Rollins grabs a double Blockbuster for two on Miz but he’s right back up with a knee to the ribs (not face Cole). The chinlock goes on, which shouldn’t be the case less than four minutes into a triple threat. Back up and a neckbreaker gets two on Miz as they’re just trading moves until we get to the big stuff. Another chinlock seems to annoy Balor so he gets up again and hits the double stomp to Miz’s ribs.

Rollins is back in for a Sling Blade to Balor, setting up a suicide dive to Balor and Miz. A superkick drops Balor again but Miz comes in with a DDT for two. Miz goes with the strategy by bending Balor’s knee around the ropes and slapping on the Figure Four. The frog splash from Rollins (from out of nowhere for an awesome visual) breaks it up and all three of them head outside.

Balor escapes the barricade powerbomb and dropkicks them both into the barricade instead. Back in again and 1916 gets two on Rollins but Miz breaks up the Coup de Grace. Instead of the Tower of Doom though it’s the buckle bomb to Miz and a superplex into the Falcon Arrow to Balor. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two on Rollins and they’re all down again.

Balor does his hop over the ropes in the corner but gets crotched for trying the Coup de Grace again. It’s just not working this time dude. Miz goes up top with Balor and catches a springboarding Rollins with something close to a super Skull Crushing Finale. Balor breaks it up with a Coup de Grace and hits a second on Miz but the Stomp breaks that up too. Another Stomp hits Miz to give Rollins the pin and the title at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This might have been a few minutes too long but Rollins winning was a fine call as he’s more than over enough and kind of fits the Workrate Champion idea to perfection. Miz can come back and break the all time days record later and Balor is over no matter what. Not a great match, but a very hot opener and the fans were into everything here.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which is billed as the BIGGEST WOMEN’S MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA HISTORY. My how times change. Anyway Charlotte is the queen of everything and Asuka won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. It’s absolutely a dream match with Charlotte being Charlotte and Asuka still being undefeated.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and gets the full Ric Flair theme song, complete with a HHH from Wrestlemania XXX inspired entrance, meaning soldiers to help her off a throne and take her robe. Asuka on the other hand gets the CGI masks with rainbow colored lines surrounding them, which look cool on screen but live….not so much. They lock up to start and take turns flipping out of wristlocks for an early standoff.

Charlotte loads up a monkey flip but instead trips the leg for a failed Figure Eight attempt. You can feel the intensity here and it’s working well so far. Some chops to the chest (and one to the face) have Asuka in trouble but she’s right back with a hip attack to knock Charlotte outside. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Charlotte gets in a backbreaker into an STO. Charlotte uses a Backpack Stunner to get out of a sleeper and a knee to the back of the head keeps Asuka in trouble.

It’s enough trouble for Charlotte to go up top for the moonsault….which is countered into a triangle for a sweet escape. Charlotte reverses into a Boston crab until Asuka makes the rope. A sliding kick to the face knocks Charlotte backwards and it’s back to the arm as Asuka continues to follow her game plan. They head to the apron with Asuka suplexing her out to the floor in a good looking crash. Sometimes you need to just go with a big spot like that and it worked very well.

Back in and they stare each other down until Asuka just erupts with strikes to the face. A missile dropkick gets two and Asuka stomps on the back. Charlotte is fine enough for the chops to catch Asuka on top and it’s a super Spanish Fly for two with the fans getting much more into things in a hurry. Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold from Asuka’s back for a cool change of pace.

Charlotte tries to flip out and into the Figure Eight but Asuka kicks her in the head for a block. Well that’s certainly to the point. The Asuka Lock is blocked and Charlotte hits a very good spear for two more as the fans are WAY into this. With nothing else working, Charlotte goes to the Figure Eight and bridges up with one arm….and Asuka taps at 13:05 in a shocker.

Rating: A-. I don’t get shocked by results very often but I was actually stunned to see how this went. I would have bet money on Asuka walking out as champion here but Charlotte winning was far from a ridiculous result. Now the problem is what this did to Asuka, as she only started to recover from the loss nearly a year later. Charlotte would lose the title to Carmella two days later, bringing some dark days to the belt. This however was anything but dark, with an outstanding match between two stars.

Post match Asuka gets the mic and says Charlotte was ready for her in the ultimate sign of respect.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something that makes him get out of his seat and run up the ramp. You really couldn’t wait until the women were gone so they could have the full moment?

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Orton is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Aiden English (now bald, meaning he shaved his head since the end of the battle royal when he had hair) handles Rusev’s entrance and we get my favorite shot every year: a closeup of someone with the camera swinging around to show the stadium crowd in front of them. There’s something so cool about seeing just how big of a stage they’re really on. Anyway, Rusev is crazy over and easily the crowd favorite. Does anyone else see an issue with Orton’s music saying “I hear voices in my head” while his Titantron says IN MY VEINS?

While you think about that, Orton and Mahal are sent outside, leaving Rusev to dropkick (yes dropkick) Roode to the floor. A RUSEV DAY Cannonball off the apron takes Orton and Mahal down again but Roode is back in with a Blockbuster for two on Rusev. The other two get back in and it’s Mahal getting beaten up by Orton and Roode before being tossed right back to the floor. Orton hits the top rope superplex on Roode with Rusev and Mahal diving back in for the save.

That’s enough for Mahal to ask Rusev for a partnership but Rusev doesn’t even bother waiting before hitting Mahal with a spinning belly to back suplex for two. Roode makes it worse by busting Mahal’s spine and hitting the GLORIOUS pose, only to have Orton make a save this time.

That leaves Orton alone in the ring and it’s the hanging DDT on Rusev. The RKO hits English, Rusev and Mahal so it’s Roode making a save of his own. Roode blocks the RKO and plants Orton with the Glorious DDT as Mahal saves. The Machka Kick drops Mahal but Sunil Singh offers a distraction, letting Mahal hit the Khallas for the pin on Rusev at 8:14. You could literally feel the energy go out of the crowd.

Rating: D+. There was some hard work in there but this was the definition of Vince saying screw the audience because it’s all about what I want. Rusev was one of the most popular guys in the company and had been for months but instead we get Mahal, who was an all time bomb as WWE Champion getting to pin Rusev.

It’s not like there was even a long term plan as Mahal would lose the title a mere eight days later. Rusev would indeed get the title nearly nine months later, after his popularity had fallen way down, meaning it was acceptable to give the fans what they want. This really hurt the show and it’s going to be hard to recover.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon and yeah I think this might help the recovery process. After being at Wrestlemania XXXI and attacking Stephanie, Rousey made her official WWE debut at the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. She wanted to go to Wrestlemania and since she was (at the time) the most dominant female UFC fighter of all time, Stephanie wanted to mold her into a WWE star.

Angle, who had been screwed over by Stephanie and HHH before, warned Ronda that they would mess with her too. That didn’t sit well with Rousey, who beat both of them up on the way to this mixed tag match. Naturally we got a lot of Stephanie workout videos because she’s STEPHANIE and that makes her some wrestling legend. It’s sickening, and I was waiting on her to survive the armbar in the match. It was clear that this was going to be full of smoke and mirrors, but the question is how well Rousey is going to do in her debut. This is one of the main events of the show and something a lot of people really wanted to see.

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles (flanked by four women on their own motorcycles), with Stephanie’s biker look (including the leather pants) making me a lot less annoyed at her. Cole: “Even though Stephanie is a former Women’s Champion, this is her Wrestlemania in-ring debut!” WWE pretending that Stephanie was a wrestler is one of their more interesting character tweaks. Rousey gets a huge reaction and of course smiles at the crowd, as is her custom. Cole talks about two people starting in UFC and coming to WWE: Ken Shamrock and now Rousey. So they’re not Dan Severn fans either?

The fans are WAY behind Rousey as they stare each other down in the middle. Stephanie shoves Rousey in the face because Stephanie just never learns. A hair pull doesn’t prove to be the brightest idea either so Stephanie bails to the apron so the guys can start us off. Angle (very badly) punches at HHH and the beating is on in the corner. A hammerlock keeps HHH does as we’re just waiting for this to explode as it should be doing.

Stephanie manages to lure Rousey in though and Angle gets low bridged to the floor. Cole calls this “that McMahon instinct” as the worship is already a lot to take. Angle gets sent into the steps and Rousey is about to lose it because she can’t intervene. Some more cheap shots from Stephanie keep Rousey angry and a spinebuster gives HHH two. A front facelock keeps Angle down but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Stephanie chokes Angle and HHH nearly hits her by mistake but it’s still too early for the hot tag. A suplex drops HHH again but Stephanie runs around and pulls Rousey off the apron. HHH gets whipped over the corner for the real crash and you can see the panic in Stephanie. The hot tag brings in Rousey (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!!!”) who SPRINTS over to Stephanie and throws her down with a suplex. After the required tug of the shorts, Rousey unloads with rights and lefts in the corner as the fans are already losing it. The release throw sends Stephanie back into the corner and Graves is terrified.

The fans want and receive the armbar….but Stephanie blocks it. Yes the hold that UFC fighters were powerless again is a simple block for Stephanie as the crowd’s soul is slapped down again. Stephanie blocks it a second time and rakes the eyes (Cole: “Complete manipulation of the rules!” Ignore the complete manipulation of reality and focus on those rules man.”), setting up a double arm crank as the fans try to process that they’re really doing this.

Stephanie even mocks Rousey, who grabs her by the throat and hits the swinging Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee. Rousey: “I’m going to continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls her out as well, apparently not a fan of such chatty opponents. Angle is back up and sends HHH over the announcers’ table but gets thrown onto the Spanish table. After a slow crawl, HHH is back in and sees Rousey, who is ready to fight. HHH puts the referee in the corner and sizes Rousey up and the beating is on in the corner.

A legsweep looks to set up the swinging Samoan drop but Stephanie makes a save. I know I’m not a big HHH fan a lot of the time but he just made Rousey look like the biggest star in the history of the division. Rousey chases Stephanie outside though and has to adjust the gear again, allowing Stephanie to post her. Angle is back in for some belly to belly suplexes and the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is countered. The Pedigree is countered as well and HHH gets catapulted into the corner, setting up the Angle Slam for two with no one making a save.

Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock and yells at Angle, who catches the boot to the ribs. HHH has to save his wife and Pedigrees Angle for two with Rousey making her own save this time. With Angle down, HHH loads Rousey up for a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed (!) into the armbar on HHH (I completely bought that as the finish live) until Stephanie grabs a choke.

That’s reversed into an armbar and Stephanie has the gall to block it AGAIN. Angle ankle locks HHH, who rolls Angle into Rousey for the real save. Rousey and Angle get posted and it’s time for stereo Pedigrees, both of which are broken up. The armbar is slapped on again and this time Rousey uses the leverage to pull back and Stephanie finally taps at 20:37.

Rating: A. That’s not even on a sliding scale because Rousey knocked that out harder than she knocked out Alexis Davis. She looked like she’s been doing this for ten years and had one of the best debut matches I’ve ever seen. Everyone else was nailing it too and I got completely sucked into it both live and watching it back because all of the stuff was that good. Don’t have Stephanie block the armbar so often and this is an A+ easy.

That was the only downgrade, even though you knew full well it was coming. To be fair though, Stephanie did tap out clean in the end so it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing ever. Well the first part was but not the finish. After this, how can you now see Rousey as the star that she already was?

Stephanie has to be helped out, as she should. She would get armbarred again the next night for a bonus.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Kofi wastes no time in hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jey but Harper pulls him outside before the count. Jimmy gets sent into the steps and Harper crashes against Big E. against the barricade. With no one else to beat up, Woods gets powerbombed against the post, leaving Rowan to splash Kofi and Jey back inside. The mostly done Jey is thrown outside and Big E. gets knocked off the apron. Jimmy comes back in for a pair of superkicks and Jey is back up for stereo kicks to Harper’s head in the corner.

A jumping enziguri hits Harper and a superkick knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a double suplex on the outside. Harper catches Kofi with a swinging release Boss Man Slam but gets caught with a double superkick on top. Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom so Kofi charges at Harper, only to get powerbombed by Rowan. An assisted super sitout powerbomb finishes Kofi to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: C-. The time cuts aside, this wasn’t the worst match in the world with the Usos and the New Day giving it all they had against the monsters but not being able to stop them. The Bludgeon Brothers were the first time a team other than the Usos or New Day had held the belts in over a year so this was long, long overdue and the right call.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network, most of which actually happened for a change.

Here’s a fired up John Cena for his match with Undertaker. This comes after weeks of Cena calling out Undertaker for Wrestlemania because Undertaker seemingly retired after last year’s show. Cena came off as the biggest jerk in this feud and acting like Undertaker owed him something. There was no confirmation that Undertaker was going to be here, hence him sitting in the crowd earlier.

That’s the other stupid part of the whole thing: Cena kept talking about how he had no path to Wrestlemania, because JOHN CENA couldn’t get a match. He gave some lame excuse about how this was the only match that mattered and it didn’t do a thing to make up for the consistently annoying lines from commentary about Cena possibly being left out of Wrestlemania. I get what they were going for, but come on already.

Anyway Cena is ready to go but here’s a referee to say not so fast. Cena is disappointed and the lights go out. It’s only Elias though and Cena heads back to his seat as Elias sings about it being his night. That’s enough for Cena who runs in and beats Elias up before looking disappointed again. Cole: “I guess that would be a Wrestlemania moment right?” He goes up the ramp but stops….and the lights go out again. A spotlight hits the ring with Undertaker’s hat, coat and boots, which are hit by lighting (looks awful on the Network, looked great when you didn’t see it coming in the stadium. They’re gone, and the gong strikes.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

I know he’s been old for ten years, but that entrance live, especially in the stadium, is chilling. Cole of course can’t SHUT UP, saying everything he can think of, including calling them the two greatest performers of all time. Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline. Old School connects and Undertaker hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the big leg have Cena rocked but the chokeslam is escaped.

Cena’s belly to back connects but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, making Cena fall down in fear. The chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Cena at 2:48. The more I think of this one, the more I like it. Cena ran his mouth for so long and Undertaker annihilated him here, just as he should have. While a lot of people will be annoyed at not getting a full form match between these two, I’d rather they do this than have Undertaker look back in a fifteen minute match.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Here’s the Hall of Fame Class, which really doesn’t need to air on the show. They already get a whole evening to themselves. Do we really need ten minutes on Wrestlemania too?

Jeff Jarrett (eh sure, though it’s still weird to see him here)

Mark Henry (still not sure on him, though his documentary was great)

Hillbilly Jim (I’m a Kentucky boy but come on)

Ivory (she looks better now than she did during her career)

Jarius JJ Robertson (Warrior Award)

Dudley Boyz (yep)

Goldberg (yep, though I’d call the Dudleys more appropriate headliners)

Oh and Kid Rock, this year’s celebrity inductee, wasn’t there because he had a concert.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Bryan somehow overcame his injuries and returned to the ring in something I still can barely believe. Owens and Zayn had tormented Smackdown boss Shane for months and then attacked Bryan for firing them the night he was announced as being cleared. Therefore it’s a tag match with Owens and Zayn fighting for their jobs. Yeah that’s all well and good. The point here is Bryan actually getting back in the ring, which is almost impossible to imagine.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon

Owens and Zayn beat McMahon up on Smackdown to cover for Shane’s legitimate medical issues. Chris Jericho was apparently on red phone alert for this show with a plan to have him fly in from a Fozzy show on the corporate jet in case Shane couldn’t make the show. Bryan gets a special entrance with a weird military/Terminator themed video showing a target on the Superdome before looking at the YES Movement spreading throughout the world in a cool moment. You can feel the emotions in Bryan as he comes down the aisle and it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Owens and Zayn jump the good guys from behind and Shane gets thrown over the barricade. Bryan takes a Helluva kick and the apron powerbomb to leave him laying. Medics come out to check on Bryan as yes, they actually are trying to stretch this out even further. Shane is willing to fight on his own and unloads with the really bad punches to Owens in the corner.

There’s the jumping back elbow but Shane grabs his stomach due to the diverticulitis (the same thing that ruined Lesnar’s UFC career). A DDT drops Sami but Owens gets in a shot to the stomach to cut Shane off. We settle down into a regular match with Sami elbowing the ribs and going for one cover after another. Owens steps on the ribs and applauds Bryan for such a great return. A t-bone suplex gives Sami two and a superkick into the Blue Thunder Bomb is good for the same. The fans don’t care about this whatsoever and there’s no reason for them to.

With Bryan STILL being tended to at ringside, it’s just a big waiting game until Bryan gets back up and makes the hot tag. The Helluva Kick misses in the corner and Sami gets tied in the Tree of Woe. Coast to Coast hits but Shane can’t follow up because of the stomach. Owens drops the frog splash on Shane but Bryan dives in for the save to bring the fans back to life. The hot tag is cut off though and we hit the chinlock to make the fans wait a little longer. A belly to back suplex gets Shane out of trouble though and there’s the tag, with Bryan taking his time before getting in for an awesome moment.

House is cleaned and it’s the moonsault over Sami into the running clothesline. Owens comes back in and Bryan gets them in opposite corners for alternating running dropkicks. Sami is back with a Helluva Kick for two on Bryan and Owens superkicks Shane to the floor. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets two more and Owens is shocked at the kickout. Shane dives onto Owens, leaving Sami to yell at Bryan for coming back and punch him in the face. That’s enough for Bryan and the fight is on, including the YES Kicks. The running knee sets up the YES Lock to make Sami tap at 15:24.

Rating: C+. This was two matches in one with the rather boring beatdown of Shane for the first half before Bryan came in and gave the fans exactly what they wanted for the second half. It was all about Bryan and that’s all it was supposed to be. The idea that he actually made it back to the ring is amazing and one of the most surprising stories you’ll ever see in wrestling. He deserved a big moment like this and that’s what we got here, albeit after Shane got in his own time of course.

Attendance announcement, with pyro because it’s Wrestlemania.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. They were friends, but Jax found out that Bliss was making fun of her behind her back. Jax went into monster mode and chased after Bliss and her friend Mickie James, setting up this match. Now there’s no reason this shouldn’t be about thirty seconds long, but it’s Wrestlemania and what matters is getting on the card and having a long match instead of doing what makes sense.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Bliss, with James in her corner, is defending and is lowered down to the stage on a platform for a nice touch. We get the Big Match Intros and Bliss immediately backs up as she should. Jax gets smart and runs Mickie over before the bell rings to send her outside for a heck of a beatdown. Bliss tries to intervene and gets glared back to the ring, leaving James to take a Samoan drop on the floor.

We get back inside for the opening bell and Bliss slaps her in the face. That earns a scream from Nia so Bliss screams back in true scream queen fashion. A gorilla press slam has Bliss bailing to the floor and it’s time to leave, only to have Nia run her over again. Back in and Bliss pokes her in the eye before going after the knee in a smart move.

What’s not a smart move is this match already going nearly three minutes with Bliss getting in any significant offense. A basement dropkick keeps Jax in trouble but a guillotine choke is easily countered via an overhead belly to belly suplex. Jax goes shoulder first into the post as the fans are quiet all over again. Twisted Bliss to a standing Nia on the floor gives Bliss another knockdown, setting up the short DDT for two back inside.

Bliss yells at her so Nia tells her to shut up already and the destruction begins. Another poke to the eye is no sold and Bliss gets whipped hard into the buckles. Bliss goes to the eye again to get out of the Samoan drop but Jax drives her into the corner and then drops her. That’s not enough as it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jax the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D-. What were they thinking here? The whole story was that Bliss was all talk and survived because of Nia but then she hangs with Nia for the better part of ten minutes? This should have been thirty seconds long with Bliss getting the title back later on (as she did in June) after coming back from getting squashed. Just a bad idea all around here, save for Jax FINALLY winning the title.

We recap AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. They had a classic match in Japan and a lot of fans wanted to see it again in WWE. Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and the match was on, with both guys trying to get in the other’s head on the way to New Orleans. So yeah, they’re just going with “it’s a dream match” for the build, which works just fine.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by Nita Strauss (awesome guitar player and rather gorgeous at the same time). The army of violinists and drummers help too. Since WWE can’t go more than five minutes without making some kind of a mistake, AJ is billed as Universal Champion. They lock up to start with Nakamura getting the better of it with some knees to the ribs.

Good Vibrations is blocked and AJ gets in his own knee before starting in on the back. Styles grabs a chinlock for a bit before dropkicking him to the floor. That’s not the best idea though as it’s a kick to the head to stagger Styles and the champ is in trouble for the first time. Nakamura’s middle rope kick to the face gets two and that’s a COME ON to set up the strikes to the face.

The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two but AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant. A sliding forearm into the pumphandle gutbuster gets two on Nakamura as they’re trading big spots. AJ’s springboard is countered into the Landslide (Samoan driver) for two but Nakamura needs a minute before following up. With nothing else working, Nakamura goes with the kicks, which are countered into the Calf Crusher.

Since it’s Nakamura, that’s reversed into a triangle choke, which AJ powers into something like a fisherman’s buster for another double knockdown. It’s Nakamura up first and trying a running knee in the corner but the bad knee hit the buckle instead. AJ is right back with a Phenomenal Forearm for two in the required kickout of the first finisher.

The springboard 450 hits knees and Nakamura grabs a small package for two of his own. They slug it out until AJ nails the Pele but can’t follow up, allowing Nakamura to knee him in the back of the head for a much nearer fall. The reverse exploder looks to set up the Kinshasa but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B+. This was close to being a classic but it’s really just a very good match instead. Part of the problem here is how late the match came in the show. The fans were starting to get worn down and there was only so much energy left in the people. Also it never quite got to the epic level that they were shooting for with Nakamura never really getting the close near falls that he needed to take it to another level. Still that, very good and worthy of a Wrestlemania title match.

We recap the Kickoff Show. This is another few minutes that could be cut off.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

The Bar is defending after Strowman won a battle royal to become #1 contenders despite not having a partner. Therefore the big question for over a month is who would the partner be. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float, complete with people in large headed costumes for a cool visual. There’s no partner for Strowman, who breaks up the float before coming to the ring.

Strowman and the kid get in the ring where the kid is introduced as Nicholas (the son of referee John Cone). Cole: “This is really happening.” He’s never been more right. Oh and the search for a partner and introduction took about four and a half minutes, again because this show can just keep going. Strowman takes Sheamus into the corner with no problem to start before beating up Cesaro as well.

Nicholas is terrified (as he should be) as Cesaro dropkicks Strowman in the knee. A double suplex lets Sheamus drop a top rope knee, setting up an assisted swanton from Sheamus’ shoulders. Strowman comes back with a double crossbody and backdrops Sheamus over the top, bouncing him off the post in the process. To cap it off, Strowman tags Nicholas in. The kid is terrified and tags Strowman back in for the powerslam to Cesaro for the pin and the titles at 3:58.

Rating: F. I….what do you want from me here? This was an idea that completely failed because WWE had no idea what to do here and this is all they could do. Put Heath Slater or someone in there, or have Strowman do a rendition of Me And My Shadow and have him win it by himself. It was a joke that was literally forgotten the next night and stretched the show out even more because they couldn’t just cut this and put Strowman ANYWHERE else. I’m sure Matt Hardy had to win the battle royal right?

Wrestlemania 35 is in New York/Jersey. You don’t hear New Jersey mentioned here, but I guess it’s just implied.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. It’s the latest attempt to make Reigns feel like the mega star because the first few times didn’t take. Therefore he won the Elimination Chamber (beating Strowman after Strowman eliminated everyone else), THIS TIME FOR SURE! Lesnar has been champion for a year and barely ever defends the title, because that was so successful the first few times. Their fights over the last few weeks get the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and WOW the fans are not happy to see him. To make it a little better, Brock drives him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the German suplexes. Reigns pops up with a Superman Punch to send Brock to the floor as they’re starting fast again. Back in and a clothesline knocks Lesnar over the top and out to the floor as the fans chant things to amuse themselves.

Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly on the floor and another one drops Reigns on his head. There’s the required CM PUNK chant and a third belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table because Brock didn’t realize how much room he had. Back in and Lesnar throws another German suplex, declaring it SUPLEX CITY B****. More suplexes ensue because that’s what Lesnar does in a big time match. Brock gets tired of that and loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns posts him for a much needed breather.

A spear puts Lesnar onto (not through) another table as the fans boo the heck out of this. Or maybe they’re mad about losing a beach ball. The Superman Punch into a pair of spears gets two and now the fans are definitely happy with a beach ball. Brock blocks a spear with a knee to the face that brings Graves out of his chair.

The first F5 gets two and virtually no reaction from the crowd. Another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. To switch it up, another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. The fans declare it boring so Lesnar takes him outside for the fourth F5 through the announcers’ table. Lesnar takes it back inside and stands there as the fans do something else in the crowd that goes from cheering to booing during the same closeup.

The fifth F5 gets two so Lesnar takes the gloves off at Heyman’s orders. The fans call it awful as Lesnar hammers away to bust Reigns open. It’s quite the gusher but Reigns slips out of the F5 and hits a pair of spears for two. Another spear is countered into the sixth F5 to retain the title at 15:51.

Rating: D+. Well of course he does. The problem here is that there is good action in the match but it’s too much of the same stuff and the fans having none of it that took away its value. Couple that with knowing that we’re just waiting on even more Reigns title shots and promos about needing to be champion and there was no way this was going to work. The fans (including myself) were done with this WAY before the match started and that’s all there was to it.

Reigns gets cleaned up and we get the long video package. Back in the stadium, Reigns leaves and the show ends. I stood around for a long time while this was going on because the video doesn’t play in the stadium and it wasn’t clear if the show was over or not.

Overall Rating: C-. I know I (and a lot of other people) say it over and over but it’s just too long. There is a limit to how long you can sit watching wrestling in person or at home and Wrestlemania has blown past that for years now. At some point you just stop caring and there’s very little that can be done to fix such a problem. They need to do something because this isn’t going to work no matter what they do. Cut out a lot of stuff and it’s a great show, but the whole package didn’t work.

There’s a lot of good stuff in here, such as the opener, AJ vs. Nakamura, Charlotte vs. Asuka, the mixed tag and a few other moments here and there. The problem is there’s so much other stuff that either doesn’t work (the main event, the Raw Women’s Title match and the Raw Tag Team Titles are great places to start) that it really doesn’t work. Get rid of some of that and the show is that much better.

Overall, it comes down to the problem of WWE not listening to the fans. They can throw out as much good content as they want, but if you do it to annoy the fans (the US Title match) or to stretch things out even further past its expiration point (the Universal Title), it’s going to come back to mess things up. There is so much on here that fans don’t want to see and WWE just won’t fix it.

That doesn’t help the length either. If you have a show where the final match is something the fans do not want to see, you’re going to have them sitting there, already annoyed at other things in the show, for hours waiting to see something that only WWE seems interested in. How is that supposed to be appealing for over seven hours? Cut it down, give us something else to cheer for, and remember that Wrestlemania is supposed to be about the best of the best, not everyone on the roster.

Ratings Comparison

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander

Original: B-

Redo: B

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: F+

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode

Original: D

Redo: D+

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey

Original: A-

Redo: A

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B+

Braun Strowman/Nicholas vs. The Bar

Original: F

Redo: F

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

This is an interesting one as most of the matches are within the same ballpark but I liked the show a lot better the first time around. Maybe the good was more fun just after the show, but this really didn’t do it for me nearly as well on another viewing. It’s watchable, but definitely not a very good show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/14/wrestlemania-xxxiv-the-same-old-story/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2022
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s the last Raw before Wrestlemania and since this company doesn’t have the best ideas, that means this is Wrestlemania Raw. Hopefully that means we get some juice added to what has already been set for the card, because this isn’t looking like the strongest Wrestlemania so far. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Brock Lesnar to get things going (with Michael Cole being heard saying “yes sir” during his entrance). After a look at Lesnar taking over Roman Reigns’ dressing room on Smackdown and beating up a bunch of security, Lesnar gets to do his own introduction. Lesnar: “That might have been good but it sounded like it sucked.” We are on the way to Wrestlemania so Lesnar is going to give us his game plan for his match with Roman Reigns.

They are going to go down memory lane in Suplex City and then go to the carnival. Reigns is taking a ride on the F5 and no one survives that. After that (and mocking the WHAT chants by saying Steve Austin will be there too, even if he couldn’t beat Lesnar), they’re going to a wedding. Their titles are getting married and having a baby, but Lesnar gets sole custody. See you on Sunday. For someone who doesn’t do this very often, that was at least an original promo and Lesnar sounds like he is having a blast.

Here is Miz for his match with Rey Mysterio, but first he wants to introduce us to the greatest luchador of all time: LUCHA LOGAN! This would be Logan Paul in a stolen Rey mask, with Miz explaining how horrible it was to take Rey’s mask. Cue the Mysterios, but Dominik gets ejected before the bell for jumping Miz.

Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Logan Paul is here too and an early distraction lets Miz take it to the floor. A DDT on the floor drops Rey and we take a break. Back with Miz ripping at Rey’s mask but getting sent off the top so Rey can hit a top rope seated senton. Rey seems to tweak his knee so Miz grabs a slingshot powerbomb, which is countered into a sunset flip to give Rey the pin at 5:25. Ignore Miz’s shoulder being up.

Post match Dominik is back to steal the mask back from Paul. He also helps beat up Miz, with a double 619 and some frog splashes with his dad. Paul looks on without doing anything to help.

Veer Mahaan is here next week.

We look at Seth Rollins attempting to find a path to Wrestlemania and going a bit nuts at his failures.

Earlier today, Rollins was summoned to Vince McMahon’s office, because he was going to get a Wrestlemania match. Rollins was told to be there at 7am but didn’t get in until after 9 for no apparent reason. He was rather excited anyway and put his feet on the table, which didn’t sit well with McMahon.

After being told he wouldn’t be fired, Vince tells him that he didn’t have to jump through all of those hoops. All he was going to have to do was ask but he would have to have his own main event. McMahon says Rollins is going to Wrestlemania against an opponent of his choosing, who he will not know until he is in the ring. Rollins runs around the office.

To recap, after a month of this idiotic story involving Rollins desperately trying to get to Wrestlemania, all he had to do was ask the boss and everything was going to be fine. That is about as lame of a conclusion I could think of and that means I’m not even surprised that they went that way.

Omos vs. Viking Raiders

Erik gets hit with a clothesline to start and rolls outside…..where it’s a countout at 45 seconds. That clothesline was the only move of the match.

Post match, Omos kicks Ivar in the face. Omos is asked about wanting a Wrestlemania opponent….and Bobby Lashley is back. A shove sends Lashley into the corner and he bounces off of Omos. Lashley shoves him away and knocks him down with a flying shoulder. Omos bails to the floor so they can both point at the sign, setting up a Wrestlemania match.

Reggie proposes to Dana Brooke and she says yes. Tamina comes in to try and win the 24/7 Title but Reggie makes the save. Reggie and Dana leave so Akira Tozawa pops up to propose to Tamina as well. She threatens to hit him but then says yes, though he has to wedge the ring on her finger. R-Truth, watching from about five feet away (with binoculars of course), has an idea.

Here is the Bloodline for a chat. After having Pittsburgh acknowledge him, Roman Reigns talks about how he has met Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania before. Lesnar beat him up and left him so bloodied that his family didn’t want him in this business again. Well now we have changed the game. Reigns has taken the advocate and made him a wise man, he has taken the moniker of the longest reigning champion in 35 years and now he is taking the title. Now he is making it personal, because it has always been personal to Reigns. This was the intense Reigns and he was awesome in the role, as usual.

We recap Carmella/Queen Zelina having issues.

Carmella and Zelina seem to be fine during their photo shoot. They remember taking out Shayna Baszler and Natalya, so here are the two of them, with Shayna saying just stay in line tonight with the eight woman tag. Then they’ll take the titles at Wrestlemania.

The Steiner Brothers are going into the Hall of Fame.

Sasha Banks/Naomi/Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina/Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Natalya takes Liv down and tries an early Sharpshooter but gets caught with a headscissors into the corner. Ripley comes in with a basement dropkick to Natalya and it’s off to Zelina instead. Naomi and Banks hit running corner dropkicks and it’s time for the parade of shots to the face. We take a break and come back with Banks knocking Carmella down and making the VERY slow crawl over to Naomi, with Baszler managing to run in for the save. A stretch muffler keeps Banks in trouble but the villains get in an argument. Graves checks on Carmella and it’s the Backstabber into Riptide to pin Vega at 9:19.

Rating: D+. The women’s division is becoming more of a mess every week, as there are almost no stories to be seen aside from the title matches and women being either best friends or hating each other. It feels like the whole thing is designed to be as low level as possible and that makes matches like this, where no one gets to shine, all the worse. I’m not looking forward to the title match, and Carmella/Vega retaining will make it even worse.

We look back at Kevin Owens’ Steve Austin impression from last week.

Video on Steve Austin, set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock. In 2022.

Here is Kevin Owens to talk about how the Kevin Owens Show with Steve Austin will be the main event of Wrestlemania. Owens talks about how Austin is here to have one more talk about the old days instead of a fight, because it has been NINETEEN YEARS since he had a match. They’ll have a beer together at Wrestlemania, even though Owens hates it. Then Owens can finally receive the torch of having the best Stunner in the world because it is better than Austin’s. Owens hits Austin’s catchphrase to wrap it up. He was feeling it here, as has been the case since the segment was announced.

Austin Theory vs. Ricochet

Non-title. Ricochet kicks him down to start and hits a standing shooting star press for an early two. The ATL is countered and Ricochet dropkicks him down as the fans want Pat. Ricochet goes up top and gets crotched, setting up the ATL for the completely clean loss at 1:44. I guess there was just no one else in the world that Theory could beat.

Commentary talk about HHH suffering a cardiac moment, which has led to the end of his in-ring career.

Here is Bianca Belair, returning from a throat injury (And doing her dance, because SHE MUST DANCE!) and ranting about how Becky Lynch has knocked her down over and over again but there is nothing that can keep her down. Belair is going to keep fighting no matter what and come back every time.

So Belair will be waiting for her on Sunday, but here is Becky to interrupt. Becky gets in a chair shot and pulls out some scissors to cut Belair’s hair. That takes way too long of course, so Belair reverses into the KOD. Another KOD leaves Becky laying again….so Belair hacks off Becky’s hair. Belair leaves so Becky wakes up and snaps as the fans tell her she deserves it.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Becky Lynch is asked her thoughts about Bianca Belair. Becky: “Bianca, you b****!”

Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

Corbin and McIntyre shove each other to start but it’s off to Moss, who gets hammered down in the corner. An overhead belly to belly and a neckbreaker drop Moss, allowing McIntyre to nip up. Corbin walks off and the Claymore finishes Moss at 1:45.

Post match Corbin jumps McIntyre and steals Angela the sword.

Edge is sitting at a desk with a scale next to him. Edge talks about how he wasn’t sure what to do to AJ Styles so he pulled off the veil of mediocrity. Sunday is AJ’s judgment day, so Edge puts a ring on the scale and smiles.

Post break, AJ Styles says if Edge wants the pitbull, that’s what he’s going to get at Wrestlemania. AJ is going to give Edge a beating that he will never forget on Sunday.

Usos vs. RKBro

Non-title with Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura at ringside. The threat of a double RKO sends the Usos bailing to the floor to start so it’s a double belly to back drop onto the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Riddle suplexing and backsplashing Jimmy for two. A Samoan drop cuts Riddle off though and the stomping has him down in the corner.

Orton gets drawn in as Riddle gets caught with a cheap shot as the beating continues. Riddle is taken outside for a whip into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break. Back again with Riddle fighting up again and managing the tag to Orton. House is cleaned and the snap powerslam plants Jey. The hanging DDT connects as Riddle takes out Jimmy on the floor. The RKO is loaded up but the Street Profits run in to jump RKBro for the DQ at 15:25.

Rating: C+. I was pleasantly surprised by the ending there as I would have bet on one of the teams taking a loss. The DQ is the right call to protect both champions so this could have been worse. It’s still weird to see a match like this as the main event on the go home show for Wrestlemania, but you have two good teams and the most popular act on Raw, so it went fairly well.

Post match the brawl is on with Boogs and Nakamura brawling to the back with the Usos. RKBro gets it together to take out the Profits with an RKO each.

One more Wrestlemania rundown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This year’s Wrestlemania is missing emotion. Reigns vs. Lesnar and Austin vs. Owens have been well set up, mainly because it feels like there is emotion. Other than that and maybe one or two other matches, the show feels like it has all been thrown together in something resembling a major event. Almost nothing feels like it has been given time to develop, with celebrities being added in to make up the difference.

Instead of matches I feel like I need to see, it feels like people are doing things to each other and then they’ll do something big at Wrestlemania. That was on full display here, as two matches were added to the card tonight, plus other matches where some people didn’t even appear. As usual, the action was good but everything else just came and went with no particular reason to get interested. That shouldn’t be the case with any show, let alone the one designed to get me to want to watch Wrestlemania.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Miz – Sunset flip
Omos b. Viking Raiders via countout
Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley/Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Shayna Baszler/Natalya/Carmella/Queen Zelina – Riptide to Vega
Austin Theory b. Ricochet – ATL
Drew McIntyre b. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss – Claymore to Moss
RKBro b. Usos via DQ when the Street Profits interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

This hasn’t been quite a year yet but I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long night. Like a few years before, I was in the stadium for this show but haven’t seen it since I reviewed it last year. This is a show that was well received at the time and it could be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Let’s get to it.

The set is one of the most intricate they’ve ever done, with a big Wrestlemania globe (ala Universal Studios) and a roller coaster next to it (I think you get this). There’s also an inflatable ring atop the structure above the regular ring, which I somehow didn’t notice until about an hour and a half of being in the stadium). The theme was the Ultimate Thrill Ride and the visual certainly works. It’s really cool looking and worked very well. Unfortunately the stadium isn’t the best looking in the world and it made the whole thing feel a bit out of place. Oh and the CRAZY LONG RAMP, which is something like seventy yards long.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

Aries is challenging after Neville has dominated the division for months and needs someone fresh to challenge him. The fans are behind Aries, which isn’t that surprising though Neville was nothing short (ok he was always short) of awesome at this point. Aries takes him down with an armbar but Neville is right back out with a headscissors. Back up and Neville has to bail to the floor so Aries has a rest on the top rope. I know it’s a Shawn Michaels spot but Aries sells the heck out of it.

Neville comes back in and eats a basement dropkick, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back for two. The suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head though as the back and forth continues. A missile dropkick gives Neville two and we take a break. Back with Neville holding a chinlock (They even do it on the Kickoff Shows!) but taking WAY too long to glare at the crowd before trying a middle rope Phoenix splash (makes sense given his King thing).

One heck of a backdrop puts Neville on the floor and Aries is right back after him with the suicide dive. You can hear the fans getting back into this and that’s a good result from these two. The main reason to put something like this on is to get the fans fired up for the real show and it’s a great place to put them in.

They come back in with Aries blocking the superplex and nailing his own missile dropkick (looked awesome too) for a near fall. A snap German suplex plants Aries though and Neville takes over again. Another suplex gets another two and Neville is starting to look annoyed. With the technical stuff not working, Neville just kicks him in the face in the corner.

Aries is fine enough to reverse the Rings of Saturn attempt into a rollup and now the Discus knocks Neville hard to the floor. Back in and Aries hits a top hurricanrana and the 450 (with a really annoying crowd reaction shot) gets two. The Last Chancery goes on but Neville rips at the eye (which was recently reconstructed) to break the hold. Aries is writhing in pain and it’s the Red Arrow to retain the title at 15:40.

Rating: B. I remember hearing that this would be on the Kickoff Show and being very relieved as I didn’t think the main show would allow it nearly the amount of time that it needed and deserved. I’m glad to see that I was right here as they had a heck of a chess match here with both guys getting in everything they could and showing how back and forth the whole thing was. Neville cheating to win in the end fit him well, as he finally had someone who could match him and had to take a shortcut. Really good stuff here as Neville continues his unbelievable roll.

If the pay per view started here, it would have been a perfect Kickoff Show. But nah, we need two more matches.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Rob Gronkowski, a friend of Mojo Rawley, is in the front row. Big Show’s music plays everyone but Braun Strowman to the ring. Braun tosses Primo two seconds into the match as the ring needs some serious cleaning out. Kalisto and Simon Gotch are tossed as well and Strowman eliminates Slater. Jimmy Uso and Goldust follow them out as they’re not wasting time here.

There goes Konnor but it’s time for the Show vs. Strowman showdown. Everyone stops to watch but Sami jumps Braun due to reasons of general stupidity. That goes nowhere so it’s Strowman dumping Show. Everyone goes after Strowman but he gets rid of Viktor in the process. Strowman is eliminated, making him look like a loser/afterthought in the process (oh….just wait). Hawkins is out and Ziggler gets to do his usual false hope spot. We get into the required “everyone hits everyone but doesn’t really try to win” portion as things slow down.

Ziggler low bridges Truth out as I manage to remember that Truth is employed. There goes Rhyno and Ziggler is thrown over the top, only to hang on again. There goes English, followed by American Alpha dropkicking English out. Jey Uso and Jason Jordan are tossed, followed by Chad Gable as the ring is really thinning out. Tian Bing gets rid of Fandango and Breeze, followed by Henry eliminating Sin Cara (in some sweet Wrestlemania gear). Henry is out next as there’s nothing between these eliminations.

Ziggler superkicks Bing out and that’s about it for Tian’s career accomplishments to date. Sami’s Helluva Kick gets rid of Epico and we’re down to nine. It’s been too long since Ziggler was nearly eliminated so Harper chokes him on the apron this time around. Mojo dumps Bo and Mahal eliminates Crews, followed by Rawley tossing Ziggler. Harper is out next and we’re down to Mojo, Jinder, Titus, Dain and Zayn.

A running clothesline gets rid of Titus but Dain eliminates Sami, completely sucking the life out of the crowd. Why you ask? Well we’re left with Dain, Rawley and Mahal. How excited would you be? Jinder gets clotheslined down and we get a Dain vs. Mojo showdown. A Pounce drops Dain but Jinder pulls Mojo through the ropes and out to the floor. Jinder follows him out and sends Rawley into the barricade, right in front of Gronkowski.

That means a drink going into Gronkowski’s face and here he comes over the barricade. This gives us the funniest part of the show as a security guard runs over to stop him, only to have a ringside guy tap her on the arm as some referees come over and allow Gronkowski to get in. Gronkowski runs Mahal over (your future WWE Champion everyone) and Mojo’s running right hands get rid of Dain. Another running punch to Mahal gives Rawley the win at 14:09.

Rating: D-. And this just LAUNCHED Mojo to the moon right? I know the idea here was to get Gronkowski involved (possibly as a substitute for Shaquille O’Neal) but Sami Zayn was RIGHT THERE to get the big win but nah, let’s go with the nothing guy winning the match. This wasn’t the best result for the battle royal but at least they were trying with Rawley, who took the time to talk to an entire group of fans when I saw him walking through Axxess that same weekend. Hopefully he gets somewhere in the future. The rest of the match was terrible with everyone being thrown out in short order and a bad ending.

Kickoff Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and I have no idea why this was on the Kickoff Show. Corbin crushed Ambrose underneath a forklift to set this up, giving us the hilarious visual of the referees trying to LIFT IT UP despite the key being in the ignition. They waste no time in fighting to the floor with Dean getting the better of it and heading back inside.

That earns him a hard whip to send Ambrose’s ribs into the post and give Corbin a nice big target. Or 24 of them in this case. A choke shove puts Dean down for two and Baron whips him into the barricade for good measure. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dean avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin avoids the top rope elbow and blocks Dirty Deeds for good measure. That earns him a trip to the floor but Baron knocks him out of the air on a slingshot dive.

The top rope elbow puts Corbin down again though and Dean gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. These two aren’t exactly clicking so far. Deep Six gives Corbin two and works on the ribs a bit more. The Rebound Lariat runs Baron over again but he’s right back with a powerbomb to stay on the ribs. That’s about it for Corbin though as Dean jumps up and hits Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but the bigger issue was with the ending, as Baron winning the title would have made the most sense. Making it even worse was the fact that Baron won a street fight non-title rematch two days later but none of that matters as the Superstar Shakeup changed everything a week later. The match was nothing to see either as they didn’t go into the brawl that would have suited them best.

And now on the main show, which is FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LONG. Sweet goodness and they wonder why it’s hard to make new fans.

Tinashe, who looks like a low rent Beyonce (still very attractive though with a great voice) sings America the Beautiful. This includes the Air Force flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet.

The opening video is about how everyone wants to come here, either as a fan or as a wrestler. This is the biggest show of the year and it is the ultimate thrill ride. The video turns into a roller coaster, starting with some historic moments and going into clips of wrestlers on tonight’s show. It’s continuing the theme and that’s a good thing when so many of these shows only have a loose theme at best. Ignore the fans cheering for Miz and AJ Styles and booing the heck out of Roman Reigns of course.

Here are your hosts for the evening: the New Day, in Final Fantasy inspired gear, with Kofi riding in on their bicycle powered ice cream cart. I still have one major question: HOW DID THEY NOT HAVE ICE CREAM FOR SALE??? They teased that for weeks and NOTHING. I was looking forward to it but for some reason it just never happened. After some dancing and gyrating, Xavier says there were a lot of options to host the show. Fans: “WOO!” It was your boys the NEW DAY who got the call though and they get to tell us about all the action that we’ll be seeing tonight.

It’s time to officially pulls their levers (making Kofi and Xavier cringe) and Big E. starts sending the smiling glances over to Woods as he freaks out. This was just after the sex tape fiasco, which was hinted at but never mentioned on WWE TV. In other words, this was a nice little inside joke for the fans while not giving away anything that would be un-PG. Well done and the way this needed to be handled. New Day’s level of rock is confirmed and that’s it, wrapping up this year’s installment of an unnecessary addition to the Wrestlemania card.

We recap AJ Styles babysitting Shane McMahon. AJ lost the Smackdown World Title to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan/Shane put him in the Elimination Chamber instead of giving him a one on one rematch for the title. That’s not cool with AJ, so he beat up Shane to set up this year’s “Shane can totally wrestle if you give him one of the best performers in the world” match. They’ve attacked each other a few times each since with Shane’s punches somehow getting a little worse since last year.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane’s kids are at ringside because what would Wrestlemania be without them? AJ isn’t interested in throwing punches so a quick standing switch sends Shane into the ropes. A headlock and snapmare have Shane down as AJ is toying with him to start. Shane gets in some armdrags and takes Styles down for a rollup, giving us some frustration to send AJ outside.

Back in and AJ punches him in the face as it turns into a boxing match. You know you don’t have to ask Shane to do that twice so we let the suck fly, followed by an elbow to AJ’s face. One heck of a baseball slide sends Shane over the announcers’ table as control goes hard to Styles. Back in and a knee drop rocks Shane again but of course he can shake off the Phenomenal Blitz.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up and Shane starts his dance that was stupid back in the 90s so today it’s awesome (like everything in the Attitude Era). An Angle Slam gets two on AJ but he’s right back with the Calf Crusher. Shane reverses into a rear naked choke, a cross armbreaker and something like the Rings of Saturn. He trains MMA you see. AJ shrugs them off and drops Shane again but the springboard 450 is countered into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a one armed Styles Clash, and of course Shane is up at two.

They slug it out and the fans are entirely behind AJ, even more than you might have expected them to be. I know he’s going to be the favorite coming in but this star treatment of Shane is making it even worse. The ref gets bumped (well duh) and it’s trashcan time. AJ loads up his own Coast to Coast but Shane throws the can at him (with AJ having to pull up on the dive, making it look horrible). Phillips: “AJ has stepped into Shane’s world now!” You mean high flying wrestling?

Shane’s Coast to Coast gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The big elbow misses but of course Shane is fine enough to counter the Phenomenal Forearm into a Maiavia Hurricane. That’s not enough from Shane though as he gets to try the shooting star, which only hits mat. The Phenomenal Forearm connects to finally put Shane away at 20:31.

Rating: B. Well that was Shane, with some Shane on the side and then more Shane to wrap it up. AJ looked awesome but that’s all he supposed to be. This was all about Shane getting to counter and hang with AJ, which doesn’t do Styles any good. A 40+ year old who doesn’t wrestle shouldn’t be hanging with a guy who was World Champion less than three months ago. But hey, Shane, right?

James Ellsworth is having issues working out so Ric Flair comes in to give him a Snickers. Then Ellsworth becomes Charlotte. Uh, yeah.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens. Their friendship had been having some issues of late so Jericho put together the Festival of Friendship, an over the top celebration of all things Owens and Jericho. At the end of it, Owens turns on Jericho and beat the heck out of him. Jericho came back and cost him the Universal Title at Fastlane so Owens is coming for Jericho’s Universal Title. The question became could Owens win without Jericho and now we get the chance to find out.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. Jericho’s entrance brings back the countdown for a nice touch. Throw in the light up scarf and a big List of Jericho on the stage and this is advantage Chris. They slug it out to start with the Walls going on less than thirty seconds in. That sends Owens bailing to the floor and a top rope forearm to the head drops Owens back inside. Owens kicks him in the face and hammers away to take over.

We hit the chinlock, with some horribly obvious spot calling, followed by the backsplash for two. They head outside for the third time with Jericho backdropping his way out of the apron powerbomb. Jericho chops away and gets two off a super hurricanrana but gets clotheslined down. The frog splash misses, the Lionsault hits knees, and the Swanton hits knees as well to give us a slow down stretch.

Now the Lionsault connects for a delayed two but Owens gets in his own Walls of Jericho. A rope is grabbed so Owens tries the Cannonball, only to be reversed into the Walls. Kevin grabs the rope for the break and is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Codebreaker but Owens touches the rope with one finger for the save. That’s a sweet heel touch. Owens rolls outside and superkicks the knee, setting up the apron powerbomb to give him the pin and the title at 16:46.

Rating: C+. Not bad but they never cranked up the violence that you would have expected after seeing the Festival of Friendship. These two should have been ready to destroy each other and instead it’s just a match with Owens working the ribs and looking for a powerbomb. They accomplished the goal of making Owens look like he can win on his own, but this isn’t the way they should have gone about it.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Charlotte and Sasha Banks had raised the women’s division to entirely new levels and Charlotte needed a new challenger. Enter Bayley, who won the title on Raw in a big surprise, completely defeating the purpose of her character and leaving her with nothing to do. This problem would plague her for the next year and still does to this day. Nia Jax was added to the other three because you need to have as many people in Wrestlemania matches as possible.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending under elimination rules. The tube men are at ringside for a special change of pace. Sasha rides in on the back of a chauffeured car because that’s what Sasha does. Charlotte gets a crazy amount of pyro, making her look even more like a star than usual. Everyone goes after Nia to start but she wrecks them in increasingly short order. A Banzai Drop crushes Bayley and Nia throws Charlotte off the apron onto both Bayley and Sasha. There’s something about people being thrown around like weapons.

All three get together to go after Nia with Sasha wisely grabbing the leg to keep her in place. Charlotte boots Nia in the face for a double German suplex for two in a painful looking crash. Nia is back up and tries a second Banzai, only to get TripleBombed out of the corner for the elimination at 4:08.

As usual, Nia chokes in the big match because that’s just how she rolls. Charlotte pulls Bayley to the floor and it’s Sasha hitting a flip dive to take the champ down. As you might expect, it’s the corkscrew moonsault from the top to take Bayley and Sasha down again in a huge crash.

Back in and Natural Selection is countered into a failed Bank Statement attempt. Instead Charlotte gets two off a backbreaker and rips off a turnbuckle pad in frustration. Sasha’s top rope double knees are good for two of her own and the Bank Statement goes on. Sasha goes with a rollup and the kickout sends her face first into the buckle for the elimination at 8:10.

Bayley comes back in and gets her knee rammed into the exposed buckle. The moonsault, with the wind blowing Charlotte’s hair around, only hits mat to give Bayley a near fall. Charlotte is fine enough to go after the knee and grab the Figure Eight. Bayley gets to the rope so Charlotte takes her into the Tree of Woe, only to get backdropped from the top in a big crash. The big elbow is enough to retain the title at 12:04.

Rating: D. Why can’t they get these big matches right? This was completely backwards with Nia being thrown in there at the last minute and lasting all of four minutes. Then it’s Bayley not really overcoming the odds and just pinning Charlotte after shrugging off some of the offense. It’s not some come from behind win or a big moment, but really just a match where Charlotte happened to lose.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Hearing Jim Cornette’s voice in WWE is just wrong.

Diamond Dallas Page. Nice reaction and WELL deserved just for his stuff with Hall and Roberts alone.

Rock N Roll Express. WAY overdue.

Rick Rude. See the Rock N Roll Express.

Teddy Long. I defy you to not smile at this.

Eric LeGrand. Warrior Award and that’s fine.

Beth Phoenix. Fine enough if a female entrant is required.

Kurt Angle. Yep. Moving on.

Support the Boys and Girls Club! Fair request actually.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

No real story here as this is they’ve just been feuding and it’s time for a title match. Anderson and Gallows are defending and this is a ladder match because we have to have one. Enzo and Cass’ speech is short this time as they say they’re climbing every rung to win the titles. We’re ready to go….and here’s New Day. Yeah remember them?

Anyway they’re in wrestling gear here but first, an announcement. This is now a FATAL FOUR WAY with one more team to be added. That would be the HARDY BOYZ, making a shocking return and giving us a legitimate Wrestlemania moment. Before the music hit, I stood up and said “they wouldn’t”, which was aided as I couldn’t see that New Day was in ring gear. Amazing moment here and the twenty six million YouTube views suggest that it’s quite the popular idea. Cole says thinks are about to be BROKEN and Matt does the DELETE pose.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) and the Hardys waste no time with Poetry in Motion to Gallows. Enzo and Cass are taken down as well as the fans are entire enamored with the Hardys all over again. A Whisper in the Wind takes both Sheamus and Cesaro down and it’s time for the first ladder. Jeff goes up but it’s Gallows making a pretty easy save. Cesaro comes back in and climbs onto Gallows’ shoulders for a double stomp onto Anderson’s ribs. Well that worked.

This time it’s Enzo and Cass coming in, just to make sure that everyone gets their turn in you see. That goes nowhere so the Hardys bridge the ladders between the ring and the apron but Cesaro and Sheamus slam them together. With a little too much Sheamus on offense, Cass launches Enzo over the ladders like a cannonball to take him down.

Back in and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Gallows while Cesaro Swings Anderson. Despite what Cole thinks, that’s not exactly working together. We hear about the Tag Team Titles not changing hands at Wrestlemania in SIXTEEN YEARS (that’s inexcusable) until Sheamus Brogue Kicks the heck out of Cass. Enzo shoves the ladder over to drop Gallows and Sheamus and goes up, sending Graves into hysterics over the horrible possibilities.

Sheamus and Gallows come back in for the save but don’t bother to knock him off the ladder. Instead it’s Anderson climbing the ladder and knocking Cesaro into the ladder. There’s a Magic Killer to Cesaro but Matt hits them both with a Twist of Fate, including a big one off of the ladder to Anderson. Jeff hits the required Swanton off the ladder to drive Cesaro through a bridged ladder, leaving Matt to pull the titles down at 11:05.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can get out of a ladder match like this with almost nothing to it other than the big Hardys return. That being said, they absolutely got the ending right as there was no other way to go here. Enzo and Cass weren’t going to work after something as special as the Hardys showing up so don’t even try. There wasn’t much to this in the way of high spots either, but this was ALL about Matt and Jeff, as it should have been.

Jimmy Fallon is here.

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella, which is mostly about Nikki and Cena teaming together for the first time ever. The idea is that Cena won’t marry Nikki so Miz and Maryse are better, meaning we’re just waiting on Cena to pop the question here. In the show stealing moment of the year though, Miz and Maryse did some parody videos of Cena and Nikki and Total Divas/Bellas, giving us some of the funniest things WWE has ever done.

They nailed the ridiculous nature of the shows to perfection and made Miz look like the guy who should be ready to break through every ceiling above her. Oh and Maryse as Nikki Bella: sweet GOODNESS that worked on about a million levels. Finally though, a year later with Miz and Maryse now as parents, Cena’s jokes about Miz “firing blanks” are pretty much dead.

Jerry Lawler is on commentary.

Nikki Bella/John Cena vs. Maryse/The Miz

Al Roker is guest ring announcer for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than having a celebrity appearance. This is Maryse’s first match nearly six years and she doesn’t look like she’s lost a step. Cena and Nikki run down the ramp and we see a wide shot for a cool visual. Cena’s mom is in the front row and he seems shocked to see her, which would be a heck of a surprise.

The women start and there’s no contact for a minute so let’s bring in the guys instead. Miz poses on the ropes and then bails to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Miz finally stomps away as we finally make contact nearly two minutes in. Maryse gets in a poke to the eye so Miz can fire off a left hand. Cena and Nikki have had no offense so far. The fans are very pleased with Miz’s beating of Cena, mainly because they realize how awesome those Total Bellas parodies were.

Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner but Maryse breaks up the hot tag attempt by pulling Nikki off the apron. A DDT gives Miz two and he slowly does Daniel Bryan’s pose (How amazing is it that the match could ACTUALLY HAPPEN?). The YES Kicks keep Cena rocked but Miz makes the mistake of telling Nikki that she can’t see him.

A big slap puts Miz on the floor and a diving tag brings in Nikki. Some bad forearms to Maryse’s arms (Shane could do better than that) don’t do much damage so Nikki runs Miz over instead. Back in and Nikki’s big forearm sets up stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. The AA and a Rack Attack 2.0 give us a double pin at 9:38.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? Miz beat Cena up for about eight minutes and then it was hot tag Nikki to put the villains away Hogan style. After all the work and amazing promos, this is Miz’s Wrestlemania reward. I’m so glad this is what they went with instead of Cena vs. Undertaker, which was likely possible at this show. But hey, Total Divas and Total Bellas got a plot out of it.

Post match Cena says this is what Nikki wanted when she was rehabbing her neck. He tells a downright creepy story about Nikki being groggy before going inf or surgery. Apparently Cena asked if Nikki knew he would marry her one day. She said yes, and today is that day. Cena proposes and we get the big moment as she says yes. I’m SO glad this is what Cena, in the final few years that he has in WWE, is spending one of them doing this. It’s a sweet moment, but my goodness do this on Total Bellas where the fans want to see it.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. HHH, in another dumb story. So Rollins was HHH’s big ace in the hole a few years back and everything was all evil and great. Then Rollins tore his ACL and had to vacate the World Title, which HHH took as not being good enough to be the top guy. Let me repeat that: HHH said that leg issues were signs that someone wasn’t good enough to be the man in WWE. HHH then cost the returning Rollins the title to turn him face but now it’s time for revenge with a fired up Rollins wanting to burn the place down to destroy HHH.

Seth Rollins vs. HHH

Anything goes and, as usual, HHH gets the coolest entrance of the night with a big motorcycle and a police escort, plus Stephanie as a CRAZY HOT biker chick. Seriously, I know she can be irritating but she can rock the heck out of some leather pants. He gets the biggest entrance every year and it takes up a bunch of the spotlight but I can live with it if she’s in outfits like that.

Rollins’ entrance involves holding up a torch and touching it to the ground, sending digital flames down the ramp. I get the burn it down thing but it’s rather lame, along with coming after the really cool entrance. Well done again HHH, as he continues to be smarter than most wrestlers today.

They waste no time in slugging it out with Rollins getting the better of it (therefore I must remind you: HHH once won a slugout with modern day Brock Lesnar) to knock HHH outside. A dragon screw legwhip takes Rollins down by the knee that wasn’t hurt in the first place. Rollins shrugs it off and punches him away, followed by an enziguri back inside. The suicide dive sends HHH into the barricade and it’s already time for the announcers’ table. As usual, Rollins tries a Pedigree onto the table but gets countered with a DDT which doesn’t break the table.

HHH cranks up the violence with a chair to the knee before bridging Rollins’ knee between the ring and the table so he can drive his own knee into Rollins’. Back in and the slow knee work continues, because that’s how HHH loves to work on a show this big. Rollins tries the sunset bomb but hurts his knee all over again. It’s fine enough to hit the Buckle Bomb and a hard whip sends HHH over the corner to the floor. With HHH staggered, Rollins goes up top (Graves: “He’s screwed if he hits this or not.”) and scores with a high crossbody to the floor.

Since it’s an anything goes match, Rollins loads up a pair of chairs and a table on the floor instead of just bashing HHH with the chair. A frog splash to the back keeps HHH down but he kicks the knee out to cut Rollins off again. HHH takes forever to get up top though and gets a chair pelted at his head, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. You know, on the bad knee.

Stephanie breaks up the Phoenix Splash by pulling the knee onto the ropes and we hit a reverse Figure Four. That’s reversed into a Gargano Escape of all things but HHH goes smart by punching him in the knee. The reverse Figure Four goes on outside so Rollins reaches underneath the ring to find weapons. Naturally this includes the sledgehammer but HHH lets the hold go.

Back in and Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a low superkick to the face, followed by an enziguri to really hammer the point home. Stephanie takes the hammer away from Rollins though and a Pedigree gives HHH two. The fans barely even reacted to that one and I can’t say I blame them.

HHH channels his inner CM Punk and loads up a super Pedigree but gets backdropped down (already done by Bayley earlier). Now the Phoenix Splash gets two but neither can hit a Pedigree. Instead HHH hits him in the knee but walks into a superkick, which knocks Stephanie off the apron and through a table. That wakes the fans WAY up just in time for the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 25:25.

Rating: B-. This is an interesting one I was bored out of my mind watching it live but it flies by watching it back. That being said, the constant knee work got very dull, especially when it wasn’t even Rollins’ bad knee. As usual, the Stephanie bump got by far the strongest reaction of the night because it’s something you don’t see very often. It’s not a bad match at all but you EASILY could have chopped off ten minutes and no one would have missed a thing.

Pitbull performs the theme song and eats up way too much time.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. Orton joined the Wyatt Family after becoming tired of being beaten down by the team. Then he won the Royal Rumble and promised to never cash in the title shot on new champion Wyatt. It wound up being a ruse though and Orton used his newfound access to the Wyatt Family compound to destroy the whole place. Then Bray poured Sister Abigail’s ashes over himself and gained her powers as this story got REALLY stupid. There was also something about Luke Harper nearly becoming #1 contender that went nowhere but warrants a quick mention.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and has a viper go down the ramp, which he himself called stupid. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton takes him down with a Thesz press and some right hands. They head to the floor for more right hands but Bray goes caveman with a running headbutt back inside. And then the lights go out (which I thought was a blackout) until the mat is covered with a projection of maggots. We’re about two minutes into the match and this is already in the pantheon of dumbest ideas ever.

Bray runs him over again and this time it’s worms on the mat. The referee jumps out of the ring, possibly because he wants to go work for a sensible company like TNA. A Rock Bottom into a backsplash gives Bray two but Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two. I mean, it doesn’t matter as they’ve completely lost the fans after that stupid, STUPID idea but never let that stop WWE.

They head outside again with Bray diving off the apron and straight into a dropkick. Sister Abigail into the barricade drops Orton again but he’s back up with an RKO to knock Bray silly on the floor. That’s only good for two back inside and Sister Abigail is countered into the backbreaker. Orton’s hanging DDT looks to set up the RKO but this time Sister Abigail connects for two. But hang on because let’s hit those roaches to complete the trio of stupid! Orton is finally done with all this nonsense and hits the RKO for the pin and the title at 10:13.

Rating: F. You are the winter, fall and spring. You are the sun that summertime brings. You are the stars in the nighttime sky. You are my girl and I’m your guy. You got me all tied up in knots and I’m lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m just lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m lovin’ you lots and lots.

That doesn’t make sense? Neither does what we just saw. Moving on.

The pilots from the flyover are here. That’s kind of cool.

We recap the Universal Title match, which all started because of a video game. Goldberg came back at Survivor Series to face Brock Lesnar in a rematch of the nightmare that was Wrestlemania XX. In a shocker, Goldberg won in about a minute and a half. Then it was decided that Goldberg could win the title again. He went on to eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble and then won the Universal Title in about thirty seconds at Fastlane. Lesnar needed to defeat Goldberg once and for all so we’re having the match for the title tonight. This is all narrated by Paul Heyman, who talks about fantasies coming to an end in a nice touch.

Here’s the thing: you could do this same story without the title. Have Lesnar put up his career to get one more shot at Goldberg (it’s not like there was any doubt on the winner here anyway) so let us have the original plan: Owens dropping the title to Jericho (who never won the World Title as a face) and then Lesnar winning it the next month. Nah. We need GOLDBERG winning the title in a nostalgia moment for whatever reason.

Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is defending and gets the long walk to the ring which might as well be the long walk to the gallows. Lesnar wastes no time and hits three German suplexes in nineteen seconds. In a great visual, the camera is on Lesnar when Goldberg cuts him down with a spear. A second spear sends Lesnar bailing and the third spear takes Lesnar through the barricade. That’s the first MINUTE of this match as they’re certainly starting fast.

Back in and both finishers are escaped, setting up another spear to Lesnar. The Jackhammer gets two, making Lesnar the second person to ever kick out (the other being Hogan, who only did it because of a missed cue). That means another spear (Heyman: “HE’S IN POSITION AGAIN!”) but this time Lesnar leapfrogs him and Goldberg hits the buckles. More suplexes (make it ten total) set up the F5 to officially conquer Goldberg at 4:47.

Rating: B. This was PERFECT for what they had to work with. Goldberg wasn’t going to be out there for a long match (he didn’t in his prime either) and they went with the right path. This was as action packed of a nearly five minute match as all you could have done. That first spear looked awesome and Goldberg gets to go out on his big moment. I’m pleased, though not as much as Goldberg, who probably made a ton of money for less than ten minutes combined of wrestling time in his comeback.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa is defending and this is the most thrown together match that I can remember in a good while. They’re also rushing through the entrances due to the time issues. You know, because NOW they care about time issues. Naomi is the hometown girl and MY GOODNESS the Glow entrance is a sight to behold in a stadium. There are no tags of course so it’s a big brawl to start.

Naomi gets sent to the floor for a double suplex from Natalya and Carmella. Back in and Becky kicks the two of them down but James Ellsworth (Remember that?) grabs Becky’s foot to take over. Bliss breaks up a cover and screams at Carmella to get out of her ring. The DDT gets two on Natalya but Becky breaks it up this time, only to have Ellsworth come in. No Chin Music is countered into a Bexploder and it’s Naomi coming back in this time.

Naomi slingshots in to sunset flip Natalya, who German suplexes Becky at the same time. Speaking of the same time, Natalya tries a double Sharpshooter on Carmella and Naomi but can’t get the legs up. Well, not surprising, but it’s so bad that the camera cuts to her back. Naomi comes back in for a Rear View to Bliss and a big dive to take everyone out. Back in and Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn makes Bliss tap for the title at 5:33.

Rating: D. The timing issues KILLED this and there’s no way around it. Much like the ladder match earlier, there’s nothing you can do when you have five minutes and six people in a match. Naomi winning the title back is cool, but I still have no idea why her winning it back in her hometown is supposed to be some huge deal. Yeah it’s cool, but it’s not like this is some great moment.

Wrestlemania XXXIV is in New Orleans. Those songs will drive you crazy by the end of the weekend.

New Day comes out to thank the fans for the record attendance of 75,245. The team is still funny but egads they could have been cut out of this whole thing and not been missed.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker. Reigns eliminated him from the Rumble and now we have a match to determine who is the real Big Dog.

Jim Ross is out to do commentary for the main event. That’s even more impressive when you consider his wife died days before this show.

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

No holds barred, first announced before the entrances. Reigns is booed out of the stadium, as has become a custom. In a smart move, Undertaker rises from the middle of the ramp (with a cool visual of smoke building up and clearing to reveal him standing there). I completely missed this as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring and saw him climbing the steps.

Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and knocks Reigns to the floor. Back in and Reigns knocks him over the top as well, with Undertaker landing on his feet. Reigns hammers him down to take over and they head outside so this can be more of a brawl, which is the only way to go. The apron dropkick (to a standing Undertaker) puts Undertaker down again but he wins a slugout back inside. Reigns hits him in the face and Undertaker just looks mad.

Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the legdrop for two. The threat of a chokeslam sends Reigns outside again and this time the apron dropkick is punched out of the air. Another dropkick staggers Undertaker but it’s a chokeslam onto the announcers’ table. They climb onto the other tables and it’s a spear to drive Undertaker through (almost in a running spinebuster) for the double knockout.

Reigns is the only one back in….and Undertaker sits up. Back in and Reigns does the corner clotheslines into the corner right hands, meaning the Last Ride (an AWFUL one at that with little impact and more Undertaker dropping Reigns than slamming him down). It’s chair time but Undertaker takes it away and beats him down instead. A quick Superman Punch knocks Undertaker into the ropes but another is countered into a chokeslam onto the chair.

The Tombstone gets two and the fans, who are supposed to be smart at Wrestlemania, seem shocked at the kickout. Off the first Tombstone. In a Wrestlemania match. Who’s the smart one here? Another Tombstone is loaded up but this time Reigns backflips….and just can’t lift Undertaker for the counter. They try a few more times but just stop for the sake of embarrassment with Reigns trying a Superman Punch instead.

The spear connects but Undertaker is fine enough to put on Hell’s Gate. The rope is reached for a break (erg) and Reigns unloads with the chair. Another spear gets another two and another spear gets another two and another Superman Punch (Undertaker sits up and falls over) sets up another spear to give Undertaker his second Wrestlemania loss at 22:57. That last sequence took nearly five minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s not terrible, but Undertaker looked like an old man who should have hung it up a few years ago. The problem here was the crowd being completely dead and it showed really badly. There’s only so much energy you can have in an academic match at the end of a seven hour show. Reigns winning makes complete sense but it was a bad match (the botches and CRAZY amount of time spent standing around didn’t do it any favors) and there’s no way around that.

Reigns gets the big pyro display behind him as he stands on the ramp (great shot) but we’re not done yet. Undertaker slowly sits up and we go to a bunch of replays. Back to live and it’s Undertaker standing in the ring with the hat and coat on. I use that term loosely as it looks like Mark Callaway standing there dressed as Undertaker. For the first time, it seems like we’re seeing the real person instead of the character, which is a MAJOR change for him.

He looks around to the crowd, takes off his gloves, coat and hat and folds them up in the ring. With the fans applauding, he goes outside, kisses Michelle McCool, and walks up the ramp. Undertaker stops, looks back one more time, raises the fist, and lowers down through the ramp, fist still in the air, to end the show with the gong sounding one more time. There was no commentary for the last ten minutes, without even a goodbye (appropriate here).

That’s about as perfect of a sendoff as WWE has ever done. It was emotional, it felt special, and it came off like the real thing. Undertaker is the last vestige of that older generation and him breaking character for the first time ever and leaving is incredible to see. It’s why I don’t want to see him wrestle again and why it makes me sad to think that he will. Incredible stuff, and Thank You Taker.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s no way around it: this show is way way way way way way way WAY too long. I got through an hour of the show a few days back (you know I’m not watching this in one sitting) and looked down at the bar in near horror of how little space I had covered. Five hours, plus TWO HOURS of a Kickoff Show is just too much, especially when there’s stuff to be cut. What could be cut? Well off the top of my head:

AJ vs. Shane (move AJ to ANYTHING else and drop Shane) entirely or at least cut it down by about eight minutes

Corbin vs. Ambrose (I know it’s the Intercontinental Title but on a show this huge, it’s understandable)

Smackdown Women’s Title (it’s just nothing and felt like total filler)

Five to ten minutes each off of Reigns vs. Undertaker and HHH vs. Rollins (those combine for nearly fifty minutes total)

Pitbull

AT LEAST get this down to four and a half hours of main show. That can’t be too much to ask, right?

Other than the timing issues though, the show is mostly solid. There’s a ton of good stuff up until the mixed tag and then things start to fall apart. The Universal Title match was as perfect as it was going to be get but there’s just so much bad around it (Bray vs. Orton, Reigns vs. Undertaker, HHH vs. Rollins in that match that is still going on somewhere, with HHH still working the knee) that the good is dragged down.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the timing issues as there’s almost no way to make a show this long work. It’s too much to sit through and it becomes a chore at the end. Just cut this down by a good hour (or two) and things are much better, but bigger is better for WWE and that’s not changing anytime soon. As it is, the show works more than it misses but it’s still not a classic by any means.

Ratings Comparison

Neville vs. Austin Aries

Original: A-

2018 Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Original: C-

2018 Redo: D

Hardy Boyz vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Original: F

2018 Redo: F

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Original: D-

2018 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Yeah I overrated a lot of this the first time around. It’s good, but not that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/04/07/wrestlemania-xxxiii-a-long-wait-for-a-long-show-with-a-long-ramp/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this one in a few years so it seemed like a good way to go for the redo this year. This show feels like a lifetime ago and is built around Roman Reigns’ rocket push towards the main event where he will challenge Brock Lesnar. Other than that, we have the insane to imagine Sting vs. HHH showdown, which I’m sure will be a mat classic. Let’s get to it.

Before we get into the Kickoff Show matches, an interesting note: since Peacock has taken away the Kickoff Shows, I went to WWE’s YouTube page to watch the Kickoff Show matches there. The Kickoff Show is available…..but the matches have been edited out, despite the talking heads hyping them up. Unless I’m mistaken, the matches aired on YouTube in the first place, so who in the world decided to edit them out here? I’d love to hear the rationale for some of WWE’s decisions at times, because they can be downright baffling.

I say it every time I see anything from this show but DANG that stage is huge.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. New Day

Kidd and Cesaro, with Natalya, are defending, one fall to a finish, Naomi is here with the Usos, El Torito is here with Los Matadores and it’s Big E./Kofi Kingston for New Day. The outdoor light is still weird to see but it’s a cool visual. Cesaro and Kofi start things off but Diego tags himself in. That’s too much for Cesaro, who drives Jey into the barricade to take him out (with JBL confirming a shoulder injury almost immediately).

Kofi monkey flips Diego down for two and it’s Cesaro coming in as Jey is taken out. Cesaro grabs the chinlock but Kofi is up in a hurry as they can’t waste time here. The Cesaro Swing into Kidd’s dropkick rocks Kofi and Kidd kicks Kofi over for the tag to Jimmy. With four people in a corner each, Jimmy hits a bunch of running Umaga Attacks, leaving Kofi to hit a heck of a dive off the top to take out Fernando.

Jimmy superkicks Kidd for two but a Big E. blind tag lets him launch Kofi into a double stomp for two on Cesaro. Back up and the apron superplex brings Big E. in again, this time setting up a slingshot splash from Diego. Los Matadores hit a sunset bomb/Backstabber combination for two on Kingston, leaving the seconds to get into it on the floor. Natalya gets the Sharpshooter on Torito, setting up Naomi and Jimmy to hit stereo running dives.

Back in and the Big Ending gets two Diego with a few people making the save. Big E. suplexes Fernando but Jimmy breaks up the Big Ending with a superkick. Kofi comes back in for Trouble in Paradise to Kidd and everyone goes to the corner. That means the required Tower of Doom, leaving Jimmy to Superfly Splash Big E…..but Cesaro comes in to steal the pin at 9:58.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches that works every time I see it because they had a bunch of people in there flying around as fast as they could for about ten minutes. It worked very well because of the talent involved and it’s nice to see Cesaro get another big Wrestlemania win. Really smart choice for the opener here (much like the previous year’s four way tag) and the stage (even the really big one) is set for the rest of the night.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Axel stops to tear off the Axelmania shirt and is quickly sent out by the mob. Rose and Fandango eliminate each other and Show chops Itami, who won a tournament in NXT to get his spot. Miz and Mizdow (in the stunt double phase) double team Riley for the elimination and Dallas dumps out Ryder, only to get tossed by Itami. Show puts Itami out with the big right hand, earning a lot of booing.

Kane gets rid of Fernando and Diego and Cesaro does the same to Cara. There goes Kidd as the eliminations are coming in a hurry. The Ascension manages to dump Henry (possibly their main roster highlight) but Ryback tosses both of them. Ryback tosses Young and Slater but Titus runs him over. That earns Titus an elimination and Show knocks out Swagger.

New Day triple teams Big Show, who eliminates all three from the apron. Rowan and Goldust are out as well and Kane chokeslams Miz and Mizdow (not out). Cesaro slams Kane out ala Show last year and Show gets rid of Uso. That leaves Cesaro to go after Show but he can’t slam him this time, allowing Show to dump him out. Ryback drops Show but charges into the elimination.

We’re down to Ryback, Miz and Mizdow, with the fans going nuts for Mizdow. The split is teased and Mizdow listens to the fans by dumping Miz and shouting that he quits. That leaves Show vs. Mizdow and the fans are right behind him again. Mizdow skins the cat to avoid an elimination and gets Show upside down on the top….but then Show powers him up and out for the win at 18:07.

Rating: D+. They kept it moving despite how much time it had, but between Itami being completely wasted in the whole thing and the storyline of “Big Show has never won a battle royal” (except he had) and the fans BEGGING for Mizdow to get the win, this was a hard one to sit through. Show would use his newfound momentum (which he totally needed) by not winning another match for two and a half months.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is narrated by LL Cool J, who talks about how we have all been connected for years. It has been the case from radio to television to the internet but the one constant has been us. We have those moments where we can all connect to, when we look at each other and say that was awesome. That is what Wrestlemania has done for us to shape our history. These men and women will take the biggest stage in live entertainment to move us and shape us to connect us. This is Wrestlemania. Awesome stuff here from LL Cool J, who sold the heck out of this thing.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth

Barrett is defending in a ladder match and this is the result of the rather stupid “a bunch of people steal the title” deal. Bryan is still crazy over, as you might have guessed. It’s so bizarre seeing Brandi Rhodes as a run of the mill (yet talented) ring announcer. It’s also weird seeing Cody Rhodes as….whatever Stardust was supposed to be. Huge pop for Ambrose here too. It’s a big brawl to start with some of the people being knocked out to the floor.

Ambrose hits a suicide dive onto Harper and Barrett throws a ladder. Truth hits a running flip dive to drop Barrett but Stardust dives onto a bunch of people. Harper backdrops Ziggler onto even more people and then hits almost everyone with a dive of his own. Ambrose is the last man standing so he climbs a ladder to dive onto the pile as well. It’s Truth up first with a ladder but the fear of heights lets Barrett come in with some ladder shots.

Bryan knocks Barrett down and crushes him with the ladder in the corner. Stardust and Barrett get crushed in the corner but Harper shoves the ladder at Bryan to cut him off. This includes tying Harper in the Tree of Woe for some YES Kicks but Ziggler makes the save with a superkick this time around. Ziggler and Ambrose pull each other down and then Barrett pulls them both down at once. With Barrett dispatched, Ambrose, Ziggler and Truth go up at the same time so Stardust dropkicks the ladder out.

Harper puts the ladder around his neck to blast a few people until Truth takes him down. Truth busts out the huge ladder but Barrett breaks it up. Stardust goes up but the ladder isn’t in the right place, meaning Barrett can superplex him down for the huge crash. Ziggler, Bryan and Ambrose go up at the same time with Ambrose being knocked down, allowing him to turn over the ladder to knock both of them down.

That leaves Ambrose to go up but Harper hits a heck of a powerbomb through a ladder bridges between the ring and the barricade. Ziggler grabs a sleeper on Harper, who climbs anyway, until Ziggler pulls him down with a huge Zig Zag. Medics check on Ambrose as Barrett has to pull Ziggler off the ladder into a Bull Hammer.

There’s another one to Stardust and another to knock Truth off the ladder. Bryan breaks that up but Barrett and Ziggler knock him off as well. Bryan’s running knee drops Barrett (which is not how he won the title last year Cole) and, after winning a slugout with Ziggler on top of the ladder (including a nasty exchange of headbutts), wins the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. This worked too, if nothing else for the sake of giving Bryan a prize to let the crowd have something to cheer about for later. Bryan is still one of the most popular stars in the company and it makes sense to start off like this. As for the match itself, it was the wild carnage that a huge ladder match like this should be, with enough people in there to keep things moving. Fun opener, which is the right way to go here. Unfortunately Bryan would have to vacate about a month and a half later and then go on the shelf for three years.

Quick bit of trivia: this is Bryan’s fifth Wrestlemania and the fifth different title he has competed for (United States, World Heavyweight, Tag Team, WWE, Intercontinental). That has to be some kind of a record/one time occurrence.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins. Orton was the future for a long time but then HHH changed his mind and made Rollins the new future. They were both part of the Authority but HHH chose Rollins, meaning Orton was kicked out of the team. This included a Curb Stomp onto the steps to put Orton out. It’s revenge time.

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Back in and Rollins gets two off a suplex and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Orton ducks a sprinting to start the clothesline comeback. A t-bone suplex of all things sends Rollins flying but he nails an enziguri to put Orton on the floor. That means an Asai moonsault can drop Orton again and they’re both down. Back in and Rollins gets caught on top but blocks the superplex attempt.

That’s fine with Orton, who backdrops him down, setting up a high crossbody for two. The hanging DDT plants Rollins again and the RKO connects for two. Security comes in to block the Punt so it’s a pair of RKOs, which allow Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two of his own. Rollins has to roll out of a Phoenix splash so he tries another Curb Stomp, which is LAUNCHED into the air and pulled down into the RKO (that was GREAT and one of the best RKO counters ever) for the pin at 13:16.

Rating: C+. The match was pretty much a Raw main event but dang that ending stayed on the highlight reels for a while, as it should have. They timed it perfectly and Rollins falling down into the inevitable was great. Orton winning is a little odd as Rollins seems to be the future star, but it’s not like losing to Orton is some kind of a career killer.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting and I’m still not sure I know what this is about. They said it wasn’t about WWE vs. WCW, but then Stephanie McMahon insisted that of course it was and you can’t question her, so that seems to be where we are. Or maybe it’s about Sting being the vigilante against the Authority. It’s just a big mess all around, but that’s the best thing that you can do when Sting can barely move.

HHH vs. Sting

Sting gets this big, kind of odd Japanese drum entrance. It certainly looks cool, but I have no idea what the connection to Sting is supposed to be. That’s a bit too cool though, so HHH gets a full Terminator entrance, complete with Terminators rising from the stage, armor for HHH, and a cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger himself. Cole: “Wrestlemania is brought to you by Terminator: Genisys!” This is also a street fight (or at least pinfall/submission only), likely for the sake of things not going south in a hurry.

We get the big staredown to start and the fans instantly deem this awesome. Ok fair enough after the entrances. They stare each other down for a good while to start until Sting nails a shoulder for a knockdown. HHH is back up with a headlock takeover as they are taking it very slowly to start. A shoulder puts Sting down for a change but the crotch chop is enough to bring him back up for a dropkick. There’s the YOU STILL GOT IT chant as we’re somehow three minutes into this already.

HHH punches his way out of the corner as Cole and JBL debate Super Bowls (with Cole somehow saying that the NFL winning two of the first three meant things were even). The facebuster has no effect on Sting but it’s too early for the Scorpion Deathlock. Instead Sting whips him into and over the corner but the Stinger Splash hits the barricade (traditions are fun). JBL says this is where you find out if Sting was ever that good in the first place, because you take shots at WCW whenever you can, a mere fourteen years after the company went under.

Sting lets go to beat them up and then backdrops HHH out to the floor. That means the big Sting dive, easily the best looking thing that he has done so far (and one of the best in years). Cole: “WE WERE BEGGING TO SEE THAT IN THE MONDAY NIGHT WAR!” Yeah picture lines like that for the whole match. Back in and HHH hits the Pedigree (JBL: “HE LOST TWO WARS!”) for two, giving us the stunned look on the kickout.

HHH busts out the sledgehammer but the NWO (Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash/Scott Hall, all close personal longtime friends of Sting of course) taking their very sweet time, comes out for the save. As weird as it is to see Hogan punching X-Pac, the distraction lets Sting hit the Death Drop for two. We hit the Deathlock as everyone gets in a brawl on the floor (with Nash going down and grabbing his leg, which has to be a rib). HHH finally makes the rope (JBL: “THIS IS US VS. THEM!”) and here is Shawn Michaels to superkick Sting.

That gives HHH a delayed two as the fans deem this awesome. HHH gets the sledgehammer again so Sting backs up, allowing Hall to hand him the baseball bat (that’s a great visual, but I don’t think a wooden bat would have much of a chance). A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another breaks the sledgehammer in half. Sting unloads in the corner and hits the Stinger Splash but a second attempt is knocked out of the air by the sledgehammer for the pin at 18:37.

Rating: C+. I’m really torn on this one as I loved the heck out of it live but egads this doesn’t hold up on another viewing. The huge leaps in logic around the NWO, commentary being a complete nightmare and Sting losing in his big WWE debut (which led nowhere) made this a mess. The nostalgia is enough to carry it, but my goodness they did everything they could to suck the fun out of this.

Post match (and two minutes after the sledgehammer shot), Sting is up to shake HHH’s hand. Cole: “Do you think it has finally been put to bed?” The thing has been put to bed, fallen asleep, woken up and is getting ready for college by this point.

Here’s what’s coming to the WWE Network.

Daniel Bryan (interviewed by a Bushwhackers shirt wearing Maria Menunos) is proud of his win, and is congratulated by Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper (who kisses him on the head), Ricky Steamboat (who does a bad Randy Savage impression), Ric Flair (for the WOOING) and Bret Hart, all of whom do a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and says the catchphrase, leaving us to start YESing again. I love these wacky cameos.

Now for something I don’t love: Skyler Grey and Kid Ink. Give us a mini concert of the show’s theme song.

Some troops are watching in Tacoma, Washington.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Not much of a backstory here other than Paige/Lee being wrestlers and the Bellas being….well the Bellas. Nikki and Paige start with the brawl until Nikki grabs the Alabama Slam for two, followed by a forearm to knock AJ off the apron. Brie comes in with a missile dropkick for the same and we hit the chinlock.

The BRIE MODE running knee knocks AJ off the apron again and it’s back to Nikki for the Rack Attack. Paige fights back and knocks the Bellas to the floor for a running flip dive, setting up the hot tag to AJ. Nikki rolls through a high crossbody as Paige and Brie fight on the floor. The Black Widow has Nikki in trouble but Brie makes the save, only to get superkicked by Paige. Another Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 6:39.

Rating: C-. Another nothing match here, but this one was at least a bit more interesting as it would be AJ’s last match as she walked away after getting one more Wrestlemania payday. The match itself was just above Raw level but it’s so weird to see Paige and AJ these days. They seem like such relics of the past as the Divas Revolution just completely blew them away (even if Paige was part of it) a few months later.

We get a tale of the tape for Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, with Cole saying a supercomputer calculated them. It took a supercomputer to tell us the titles they won, their heights and weights?

It’s time for the Hall of Fame recap and presentation for the stadium. Alundra Blayze pulling the Women’s Title out of a trashcan was a great moment. Also: “With triumphant jubilation, we celebrate his name. Finally the Macho Man is in the Hall of Fame.”

Here’s the class in the stadium:

Rikishi (nice reaction)

Larry Zbyszko (not sure how many people today will care)

Alundra Blayze (just call her Madusa already)

Family of Conor Michalek (for the Warrior Award, which isn’t what Warrior wanted it for but it’s a nice moment)

Bushwhackers (biggest reaction so far, though Butch looks ancient)

Tatsumi Fujinami (I’d say he earned it)

Randy Savage (represented by Lanny Poffo, to a nice response)

Arnold Schwarzenegger (not much of a response)

Kevin Nash (gets the full music entrance)

We recap Rusev vs. John Cena for Rusev’s US Title. Rusev actually beat Cena by knockout at Fastlane so Cena is fighting for a rematch and AMERICA. After Rusev started insulting America, Cena put him in the STF until Lana finally agreed to the title match. I think you know where this is going.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Rusev is defending….and comes out in a Russian tank (where he and Lana allegedly had some rather personal time), complete with the full military band introduction. Yeah we’re not topping that one tonight, or for a long time to come for that matter. Cena gets a Ronald Reagan speech, with clips of great American innovations and sporting moments. The crowd is not exactly thrilled to see Cena here (make your own jokes). They knock each other down for an exchange of early near falls and Rusev gets two more off of a gutwrench suplex.

Rusev hits the jumping superkick for two, followed by Cena’s tornado DDT for the same. Back up and a jumping knee to the head drops Cena again but Cena picks the ankle into the STF. Lana throws in a shoe, which is enough of a distraction to break the hold and let Rusev hit a fall away slam. Rusev goes aerial with a top rope headbutt (that looked good too) but the kickout frustrates him even more.

The Accolade is blocked and Cena busts out a springboard Stunner of all things, which only gets another RUSEV chant. Another superkick sets up a wheelbarrow faceplant and we hit the full Accolade. This time Cena powers out and drives him into the corner, setting up another STF. Lana gets up for the distraction but Rusev runs into her by mistake and it’s the AA to give Rusev his first loss and Cena the title at 14:32.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time match and the power of AMERICA wins in the end, which is all you can ask for. Cena winning is the right call (I think), though the collective gasp if Rusev had kicked out of the AA would have been great. This would kick off the John Cena US Open Challenge though, which gave us some of the most compelling WWE TV in years so I think we can call it a success.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana as the split seems likely. JBL declares Cena’s win a win for everything that is good as we flash even further back in the 80s.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

Long Kickoff Show recap.

Here’s the Authority (HHH/Stephanie McMahon in this case) to announce the attendance record. Stephanie talks about being eight years old at the first Wrestlemania where her friend Andre the Giant (they pushed the heck out of that around this time) made it feel like a huge show. We hear about how globally available Wrestlemania is and thanks the Authority for making all of this possible.

HHH says he beat Sting tonight and he feels like he beat every fan here too, plus millions around the world. They owned Sting, just like they own everyone in the back and everyone here tonight because the Authority always wins. And here’s the Rock to blow the non-existent roof off of the place. Stephanie: “Ok you’re happy to see him.” Rock says the Authority doesn’t own the people or the Rock because the Rock is an East Bay Boy, as he was born in the East Bay around here.

HHH has two choices: go dress up like Terminator again or have a Wrestlemania Moment right here. The guys go fast to face and HHH talks about beating Rock most of the time, meaning he has nothing to prove. Rock says that just like he left his heart in San Francisco, HHH left his testicles in Stamford, Connecticut. That gets HHH’s jacket off and but Stephanie gets between them and says they made Rock.

Therefore Rock can leave, which he does, by slowly walking around the ring….and finding Ronda Rousey (with Shayna Baszler next to her). Ronda jumps the barricade and gets in the ring with Rock as JBL freaks out about Stephanie being in danger (don’t worry though, because she trained for the armbar and could block it when they had their match, because Stephanie). Rock says he would never hit a woman, but he has a friend who would be happy to.

Stephanie doesn’t think much of Rousey because she is a big fan of hers. Rousey doesn’t look impressed so Stephanie tells Ronda to go sit down and enjoy Wrestlemania like a nice little fan. Rousey: “Any ring I step into is mine.” She tells Stephanie to make her leave and there’s the death stare. Rock stops things to warn Stephanie what that look means. Rock: “That look Steph, means that if you keep running your mouth, she’s going to reach down your throat, and pull your insides out and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.”

After one of my favorite lines ever, and Rock mocking jumping rope, HHH is tired of this. The fight is on and Rousey flips HHH so Stephanie gets in her face, earning herself and arm….well just cranking because of UFC but it’s enough to make her run so Rock and Rousey can pose. This was great and the big WWE welcome to Rousey, but it would be a little while before anything came from it. Till though, awesome segment and you could feel every bit of Rousey’s star power.

We recap Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt. The Streak was broken last year and Undertaker was shaken up, so now Bray wants to be the new face of fear. Undertaker: “I’m not dead yet.” This screams bad idea but let’s do it anyway. Three notes here: I don’t believe this aired on the original broadcast due to time (and I have no notes on it elsewhere) and Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle during the intros. Also, the Peacock version of this actually includes the music, which I never would have expected.

Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray’s entrance is another odd one, as he walks by several scarecrows who come to life and follow him. The entrances are cool of course, but they lose quite a bit in the daylight. They also take the better part of ever because Bray is hurt and Undertaker is Undertaker, though that guitar solo on Bray’s entrance is always great. Also, Undertaker has grown his hair out a bit and put on some muscle for a big improvement.

After about eight minutes of entrances, including Bray looking a little scared once Undertaker actually gets in the ring, we’re ready to go. Bray shouts that this is his and gets booted in the face before the bell. Undertaker strikes away in the corner and wastes no time in starting in on the arm. Old School connects and the fans say Undertaker still has it. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor but he lands on his feet and pulls Bray outside as commentary talks about Undertaker being the best ever.

The apron legdrop connects and sets up Snake Eyes but Bray is ready for the big boot. Bray unloads in the corner and manages a running splash for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a ram into the post to keep Undertaker down. Bray is limping pretty badly as Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate, which is broken in a hurry. The release Rock Bottom into the backsplash crushes Undertaker again as commentary thinks this might have been a bad idea.

Sister Abigail takes way too long to set up so Undertaker grabs the throat (Bray’s OH S*** look is awesome) for a chokeslam. The Tombstone connects for two and, after Undertaker is done panicking, Sister Abigail gets the same. Bray spiders up but Undertaker sits up and glares at him with a “boy what are you thinking about” stare, sending Bray crawling back. They slug it out with Bray getting the better of things, but Undertaker counters Sister Abigail into the Tombstone for the pin at 15:12.

Rating: C. It just wasn’t all that good with neither guy looking overly impressive. Undertaker looked WAY better than he did last year, but that isn’t exactly a hard bar to clear. The other problem is that Undertaker is just kind of an old legend here instead of having the Streak be the be all and end all deal. The match was fine enough, but this one isn’t remembered for a reason.

Chris Jericho is going to do a special podcast on the Network (because Steve Austin was out with shoulder surgery) with special guest John Cena.

We recap Roman Reigns (who looks so young here) vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Title. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to continue the rocket push and suddenly was ready for Lesnar. Brock and Paul Heyman didn’t seem to agree and it was time to put Reigns in his place. This felt like a fight instead of a match and that is the only way it should have been billed.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans DO NOT like Reigns here, even as he makes the long entrance. The fans even go along with Paul Heyman’s intro of Lesnar to make the affiliation clear. Reigns charges at him and gets driven into the corner to start. Lesnar is bleeding from the cheek so it’s the first German suplex into an F5 in less than thirty seconds. Lesnar spends longer than that stalking Reigns and pounds away in the corner, setting up the release fisherman’s suplex.

The referee is already asking Reigns if he is sure about this so Reigns slugs away but Brock just stares at him for trying a clothesline. Another German suplex has Lesnar bouncing but Reigns is smiling at him. Some forearms to the back set up a belly to back suplex, allowing Lesnar to debut “SUPLEX CITY B****!” As WWE starts printing the t-shirts, Reigns hits some hard right hands but gets caught in a German suplex.

Reigns smiles at him again so there’s another German suplex to send Reigns flying. Lesnar drapes him over the top and fires off knees, with the fans deeming it awesome. A running forearm knocks Reigns off the apron and into the barricade, with Reigns barely being able to sit up. Back up and Brock charges into a knee, followed by another knee to the face. Reigns kicks him in the face so Brock SMASHES HIM with a clothesline out to the floor.

Lesnar is bleeding from the mouth now as he takes Reigns back inside for another suplex. Brock suplexes him back over the top rope so the crowd starts chanting EIGHT for the number of suplexes. The F5 gets two and Heyman’s eyes bug out as Lesnar smiles. Lesnar takes the gloves off and slaps Reigns in the face but Reigns keeps smiling. That’s too far for Brock, who snaps off more German suplexes. Another F5 gets two and now Lesnar has had it.

They head outside where Lesnar gets posted to bust him open from the forehead as well. Back in and Reigns has the look in his eyes and hits back to back Superman Punches. A third is countered into a German suplex but Reigns fights out and hits a bunch of headbutts. There’s the Third Superman Punch to FINALLY knock Lesnar down, followed by a pair of spears. The third is countered into an F5 to put everyone down…..and here’s Seth Rollins to cash in Money in the Bank and make this a triple threat!

WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is still defending. Rollins sends Reigns outside and hits a Curb Stomp on Lesnar. Another is countered into an F5 attempt but Reigns runs in with a spear to Lesnar. Rollins hits the Curb Stomp on Reigns for the pin and the title at 16:43 (plus a “thank you very much” to Reigns).

Rating: A-. This took a lot of time to get going but this was pure gold as soon as Lesnar got mad. It was one great moment after another with both of them giving it everything they had. That’s all you needed it to be and it played perfectly into the idea of a main event fight instead of a match. It’s also a great example of some brilliant booking, as WWE wanted to keep both of them strong and needed a way out. For one of the only times ever, the Money in the Bank briefcase was the perfect choice to get them out of the problem they have. It was an awesome moment to wrap up an outstanding match and easily the best thing on the show.

Rollins celebrates on the stage to a bunch of pyro to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is kind of an odd show as there is nothing truly bad, but aside from the main event and maybe Sting vs. HHH, what is remembered here? It’s one of those Wrestlemanias that is very good on its own but had almost no long term consequences or impact. You get those every now and then but it still makes for a pretty awesome show on its own. This is definitely worth another look and I had a lot of fun with it, as long as you aren’t expecting any game changers.

Ratings Comparison

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores

Original: C+

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

2015 Redo: D

2021 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Bar News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Stardust

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: C+

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B-

2015 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: C+

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C-

2021 Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Rusev

Original: B-

2015 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: B

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2015 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B+

2015 Redo: A-

2021 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

2015 Redo: B+

2021 Redo: B+

Wyatt vs. Undertaker and Rollins vs. Orton have both fallen but it’s still a heck of a show.

Here is the original version if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxxi-2016-redo-surprise/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2022
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton

There are two Raws left before Wrestlemania and that means WWE needs to really hammer things home. That is how it should go at least, but you never can tell with what this company is going to do. I’m sure Seth Rollins will be all Wile E. Coyote with one dumb idea after another on his way to his ultimate goal of doing anything at Wrestlemania so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the glass shattering and it’s….Kevin Owens, in an Austin shirt, jean shorts, and a bald cap. Owens does a good enough Austin impression as he insults the crowd for falling for the gag and promises to destroy Austin once and for all at Wrestlemania. Then the glass shatters again, but fool me once and all that, as Owens gets to laugh at the people.

After another threat to Austin, Owens calls for some beers (Steve Austin lagers of course) but can’t catch them. Therefore he yells at the guy to bring them into the ring and Stuns him before pouring some lager over him. You could write this step by step from the second the glass shattered and that’s how it should have been. Sometimes you need to play it by numbers instead of going nuts and screwing something up and they got it as right as they could here.

We look back at Seth Rollins going a bit nuts last week and losing to Kevin Owens for the rights to interview Steve Austin at Wrestlemania.

Rollins doesn’t like the suggestion that he isn’t going to Wrestlemania and starts laughing maniacally. Ignore the CODY chants as he steals the microphone.

Mysterios vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Miz is on commentary as Dominik grabs a springboard wristdrag out to the floor. Back in and a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination puts Dominik down so Rey comes in for the save attempt. The Mysterios clear the ring for stereo dives to the floor and….here’s Seth Rollins. He wants a Wrestlemania spot and he is going to get one, even if his mic keeps giving out out.

Rollins wants the biggest thing at Wrestlemania that will live forever but since his mic gives out, we take a break. Back with Rollins gone and Rey fighting out of a superplex attempt. Dominik comes back in with a high crossbody to Roode, who is right back with a spinebuster for two. The frustration sets in, allowing Dominik to hit a 619 into the frog splash for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: C-. You can only get so much when a large section of the match was spent on looking at Rollins fighting with the microphone. The Mysterios are a team that should make sense on paper but they just aren’t clicking no matter how WWE presents them. That is a problem that WWE is going to have to deal with somehow, but I’ll take it over Dominik getting a singles push at this rate.

Post match Ziggler hits Rey with a superkick and Miz grabs a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor. Miz even steals the mask and the fans freak out as Rey covers his face with a towel.

Seth Rollins is with Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce and explains that he wants to do something at Wrestlemania. Pearce says this isn’t the way to go about it but maybe there is something he and Deville can do. Rollins laughs and walks off.

Miz is on the phone when he is interrupted to be asked about stealing the mask. It turns out that Logan Paul was a big Rey Mysterio fan growing up and he just wanted a mask. The lesson Paul needs to learn is to never meet your heroes, because they can be horrible. Now it is time for Paul to beat up his heroes at Wrestlemania, but first, Miz dares Paul to wear the mask next week on Raw.

Smackdown Breakdown, this week all about Brock Lesnar trying to destroy the Bloodline.

Omos vs. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez

Crews and Azeez jump him before the bell but Omos grabs them by their throats on the floor. They get back in for the opening bell, with Omos hitting a one armed slam. The chokeslam to Crews sets up the double pin at 1:45.

Post match Omos promises to dominate anyone at Wrestlemania.

Video on Edge’s recent trip over the, uh, edge.

Here is the returning AJ Styles for a chat. AJ talks about how he has been gone for a few weeks and that much time is a dangerous thing. He has been watching that clip of Edge attacking him over and over and now he has to see Edge with his mood lighting, asking why. Styles doesn’t care because all he wants to do is kick Edge’s teeth down his throat. Instead, he gets Seth Rollins, who, after hearing the CODY chants, says that rumors don’t make moments.

Rollins has an idea: AJ stays at home for Wrestlemania and Rollins ends Edge’s career instead! Styles passes on the idea, saying that if he can walk, he’ll be facing Edge. This is just like last week when Styles wanted to take Kevin Owens’s spot, sending Rollins into a rant about how he’s running out of options. Styles isn’t cool with everything going on with Rollins right now so here are Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to interrupt. Pearce says Rollins is getting one more chance at Wrestlemania, because if he can beat Styles tonight, he can face Edge instead. Styles clears Rollins out in a hurry.

Carmella is on her phone again when Queen Zelina interrupts. Zelina doesn’t think Carmella is taking their Wrestlemania title defense seriously but Carmella blows her off. Instead Zelina throws the phone away and tells her to get her head in this. That’s good for a slap and the brawl is on.

AJ Styles yells at Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville about their decision but promises to win anyway.

Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Ripley takes Baszler down to start and it’s off to Morgan, who gets pulled into the wrong corner. Natalya comes in and drops Morgan down, allowing Shayna to crank on the arm. Cue Carmella to cry to Corey Graves about what happened to her as Morgan fights out of the corner. Baszler pulls Ripley off the apron though, leaving Natalya to hit Morgan with the discus lariat. The Hart Attack gives Baszler the pin at 3:48.

Rating: C. This is where the title match at Wrestlemania is going to fall apart (because it means so much in the first place): since there are so few teams in the division, they are going to have to face each other and knock one another down, leaving no one worth anything once we get to Wrestlemania, where Zelina and Carmella likely retain anyway.

Post match Carmella beats up Baszler and Natalya before posing with Queen Zelina, who approves so hugging can ensue.

We look at Becky Lynch injuring Bianca Belair last week.

Here is Becky for a chat. She sits in a chair and asks what it profits a man to gain the world but to lose his soul. Becky went fifteen months without the Raw Women’s Title and it is worth it to give given up her soul to get the title back. This week she was going to go after Belair’s hair but Belair is injured too. It’s a throat for a throat and Becky would sell out over and over again if it meant keeping her title. At Wrestlemania, she’ll show Belair what profits she has gained. This felt like an explanation for a heel turn that took place seven months ago.

We recap Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory.

Theory is ready for the dumb jock McAfee and he wants to make Vince McMahon proud..

Veer Mahaan is coming on April 4.

Aust….WAIT WHAT??? THEY SET A DATE??? Somebody get my medicine.

Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor

Non-title and here is Pat McAfee to join commentary. An early rollup gives Balor two and he’s back with a basement dropkick. Theory gets kicked out to the floor, where McAfee mocks him with some weird dancing. The distraction lets Balor hit a shotgun dropkick against the barricade and we take a break.

Back with McAfee cheerleading Balor to his feet for the comeback, only to have Theory knock him outside. Balor sends him into the announcers’ table over and over, setting up the shotgun dropkick into the corner. The Coup de Grace misses though and Theory takes Balor down, drawing McAfee up to the apron. The ATL is broken up but Theory is right back with a brainbuster onto the knee for two. Another McAfee distraction cuts Theory off though and the small package gives Balor the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C. This was all about McAfee vs. Theory as the US Champion was left out there in a feud that has nothing to do with him. I’m still not sure why this is McAfee vs. Theory instead of Theory going after the Intercontinental Title, as Ricochet has nothing going on and it isn’t like McAfee is being brought in especially for this show. The match was good enough while it wasn’t focused on the announcer, but that was the case most of the time.

We look at the Raw Tag Team Title situation, which is leading to RKBro defending against Alpha Academy and the Street Profits in a triple threat at Wrestlemania.

RKBro vs. Alpha Academy

Non-title. Before the match Chad Gable promises that the Academy is winning the titles at Wrestlemania. Gable cranks on Orton’s arm to start but Orton brings him into the corner. The assisted Floating Bro gives Riddle two but Gable sends him into the wall that is Otis. Riddle fights back with some running forearms, only to be knocked outside for the running Otis clothesline as we take a break. Back with Riddle making the hot tag to Orton (big reaction for that) and house is cleaned. The hanging DDT hits Gable for two as Otis makes the save. Riddle comes back in and jumps Gable, setting up the Bro Derek for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: C+. RKBro continues to be the most popular act on Raw and they continue to put on some of the most consistent matches on the show as well. It makes sense to keep them together this long and I’m not sure where they go from here. For the first time in forever, I want to see a team stay together and it is going to be a big deal when they finally split up, because they have gelled that well.

Post match the Street Profits run in and take out both teams.

Dana Brooke was attacked by Akira Tozawa earlier this week but manages to escape with the title again, as Tozawa continues to screw things up.

Dana Brooke/Reggie vs. Akira Tozawa/Tamina

Non-title. Earlier today, Tamina choked Tozawa and demanded to get the 24/7 Title. We start with a game of chicken but Tozawa can’t hold Tamina up. Instead he gets on her shoulders and locks up with Dana until Tamina kicks Reggie in the ribs. Tamina and Tozawa are sent into the corner, where Tamina falls face first into a low blow on Tozawa. The running flipping seated senton gives Reggie the pin at 1:04. This is a thing that continues to be on Raw every week.

We recap the opening segment.

AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins

The winner gets Edge at Wrestlemania. Styles grabs a headlock to start but gets knocked down by a running shoulder. A Pedigree attempt is countered though and AJ sends him over the top and out to the floor. The slingshot forearm takes Rollins down again and we take a break. Back with Styles fighting out of a cravate but missing a charge into the post. That’s good for a nine count on the floor so Rollins chops away in the corner back inside. A running dropkick in the Tree of Woe (that was nasty) gives Rollins two but AJ fights back again.

Rollins breaks up a springboard though and AJ goes crashing back to the floor. Rollins’ suicide dive connects and we take another break. Back again with Rollins letting go of a cravate and screaming about how he needs this to Styles. The slugout goes to Styles, including the running forearm in the corner. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two and a belly to back faceplant gets the same.

Styles can’t hit the Styles Clash as Rollins escapes and grabs a Falcon Arrow for two of his own. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence until AJ suplexes him into the corner. AJ takes him up top but Rollins slips off and bangs up his leg, allowing Styles to grab a torture rack swing into a powerbomb for two more. The Phenomenal Forearm is superkicked out of the air though and Rollins hits the Buckle Bomb. AJ slips out to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but Edge comes in with a chair to Styles for the DQ at 22:44.

Rating: B. Again, what would you expect from two guys of this caliber getting this much time in a featured match? That is the kind of thing that you do not see very often and it is special when it does, as both of them got to look good. I don’t think there was much doubt about the result, but the match being rather good makes up for that.

Post match Rollins snaps and says the show doesn’t happen next week unless he gets what he wants. Things are broken at ringside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. What mattered here was it felt like the show was taking things seriously (24/7 Title stuff aside) and the talking segments worked better than in recent weeks. They helped advance some things towards Wrestlemania, with Owens’ segment working out well. I’m not sure how we get to what should be the pretty obvious end game for Rollins but they put it in the prime spot this week and it felt bigger as a result. I liked this show, though it felt like a fluke rather than a change of pace.

Results
Mysterios b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Roode
Omos b. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez – Double pin
Natalya/Shayna Baszler b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley – Hart Attack to Morgan
Finn Balor b. Austin Theory – Small package
RKBro b. Alpha Academy – Bro Derek to Gable
Dana Brooke/Reggie b. Tamina/Akira Tozawa – Running flipping seated senton to Tozawa
AJ Styles b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Edge interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2022
Location: VyStar Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton

We have less than three weeks to go before Wrestlemania and WWE still has a lot of work to do before the show. The big story coming out of last week was Kevin Owens challenging Steve Austin to meet him at Wrestlemania, with Austin accepting the next day. Other than that, it’s time to hear about how wrestlers have no path to the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Scott Hall. That one is going to hurt for a long time.

We open with a look at Kevin Owens’ challenge and Steve Austin accepting.

Here is Kevin Owens, who opens with a Hey Yo. He is the happiest Canadian right now because he is going to the main event of Wrestlemania Saturday night. Owens used his superior Canadian intellect to get what he wanted. This draws a USA chant, with Owens saying that everyone, including the USA, will get to see Owens take Austin out. The only can that will be opened is a can of Canadian beer after Owens kicks him from one side of Texas to the other. Owens hits a Stunner on the cameraman and walks out. This is where Owens can shine on the way to the big showdown and his talking will always work for him.

Finn Balor vs. Damian Priest

Non-title but hold on as here is Austin Theory to interrupt. After looking at a clip of Theory’s issues with Pat McAfee, Theory joins commentary because the world needed a four person booth. Balor hits his shotgun dropkick in the corner, followed by some shoulders to the ribs. The standing double stomp misses but Balor hits another basement dropkick. Priest is right back up and takes Balor outside for the big release Razor’s Edge onto the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Priest cutting off another shotgun dropkick with a kick to the head. Balor slips off the shoulder though and hits another shotgun dropkick, only to have Theory break up the Coup de grace. An enziguri puts Priest down, but Balor dropkicks Theory instead of going after him. Back in and Priest hits the Reckoning for the pin at 7:29.

Rating: C. This is an interesting one as Theory already has something to do at Wrestlemania but seems to be getting into things with Balor as well. I’m not sure where that is going but maybe they are going to have Theory and Balor work both nights of the show. I would certainly take that over pulling in more people to throw onto the show, though Balor losing so soon into his reign isn’t a good sign.

Post match Theory hits the ATL on Balor, setting up the selfie.

Seth Rollins has nothing to say about his lack of a path to Wrestlemania.

Omos vs. Commander Azeez

Apollo Crews is here with Azeez. We get the big lockup to start and they shove each other around. Omos knocks him outside and then clotheslines him over the top as well. A Crews distraction lets Azeez snap Omos’ throat across the top rope but Omos counters a suplex into a suplex slam. The chokeslam finishes Azeez at 1:54. Again, keeping Omos’ matches short and dominant is the best idea they have for him.

Post match Omos chokeslams Crews for a bonus.

Kevin Owens comes up to Seth Rollins and talks about how he needs to come up with something else. Owens talks about the things that Rollins has done at Wrestlemania and offers to help him get to Wrestlemania. Rollins cuts him off and seems to have an idea, though he leaves without saying a word. Owens thinks he helped.

Liv Morgan vs. Queen Zelina

Rhea Ripley and Carmella are here too. Before the match, we see a clip of Zelina telling Carmella to focus on the titles instead of the risque reality show. Zelina grabs a crossarm choke to start but Morgan is right back with a sunset flip. We’ll make that a tumbleweed for two more, followed by the tumbleweed going backwards for the same as Zelina is a bit dizzy. Carmella offers a distraction in the corner though and it’s a powerbomb to bring Morgan back down. Ripley scares Carmella over to Graves, leaving Zelina to get caught with Oblivion for the pin at 2:50.

We look at Roman Reigns destroying Brock Lesnar at Madison Square Garden and Lesnar chasing off Paul Heyman on Smackdown.

Seth Rollins comes to the ring immediately after and he has his announcement. After a long recap of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar, Rollins talks about how excited he is for his idea. He wants Kevin Owens out here to hear this so a rather happy Owens joins him and seems interested in hearing whatever the idea is.

Rollins has an idea of his own: he could have a talk show at Wrestlemania! Like the Freakin Speaking With Seth Freakin Rollins! Or the Rollins Report! He could have Steve Austin as his guest! Owens says not so fast because that’s his thing, but Rollins thinks they could have a match tonight, with the winner getting to host Austin on their talk show. Sonya Deville comes out and makes the match, leaving Owens aghast.

We recap the Mysterios vs. Miz/Logan Paul.

Kevin Owens asks Sonya Deville what she is thinking.

Mysterios vs. Hurt Business

Hold on because here are the Miz and Logan Paul to join commentary. Dominik gets knocked to the floor to start and it’s a waistlock to keep him down back inside. That’s broken up and it’s off to Rey for a headscissors as Miz explains why Paul will be awesome at Wrestlemania. Paul: “I’ve been doing a lot of pushups. And situps!” Rey hits a tornado DDT for two and it’s a double 619 to Alexander. The frog splash gives Dominik the pin at 3:24.

Rating: C. This was just a quick one with the Mysterios getting in the ring so Paul and Miz could run their mouths on commentary. Both teams are capable of more, but how much can you get out of a match that doesn’t even make three and a half minutes and is there to set up another match down the line? At least the Mysterios got some momentum back.

Post match Paul and Miz come in for the beatdown but Miz gets sent to the floor. Paul goes after Dominik but Miz has to save him from the double 619.

We recap Edge being all mysterious when he explained his attack on AJ Styles.

Queen Sharmell is going into the Hall of Fame.

Here is serious Edge, now with a new theme song (complete with “You think you know me? You never did.”) for another serious chat. Edge talks about how no one has ever gotten what he does so he’ll put this in terms anyone can understand. He is better than everyone, including all of the people here. What he means is that he is better than everyone in this entire industry but he hasn’t shown that since he has been back.

The real Edge wouldn’t let Randy Orton injure him or let Seth Rollins invade his home or let the Aquaman cosplayer Roman Reigns stack him up at Wrestlemania. Edge won’t be judged by any of us, including AJ Styles. He will be passing the verdicts around here and if AJ Styles can make it to Wrestlemania, Edge will be passing the sentence.

We look at Bianca Belair using her hair as a weapon over the last few weeks.

Bianca Belair says the hair is part of herself and the real advantage is that Becky Lynch isn’t running her mouth these days. Tonight, she is going to focus and use Doudrop to give Lynch a Wrestlemania preview.

Veer Mahaan is coming.

Bianca Belair vs. Doudrop

Nikki Ash is here with Doudrop. Belair starts fast with a dropkick but misses another one. Doudrop misses the backsplash though and they head outside. That lets Doudrop toss her into the barricade, only to miss the Cannonball as we take a break. Back with Belair having to slug away and hitting a jumping kick to the chest. Belair drives her into the corner, tells Doudrop to kiss it, and backflips over her out of the other corner. A spinebuster drops Doudrop and the KOD finishes Doudrop at 7:58.

Rating: C+. We’ve seen it before but there is something amazing about seeing Belair throw Doudrop around the ring like that. It is a power display you don’t get to see very often and Belair manages to make it look pretty easy. That being said, they might want to find someone else for Belair to beat up, because it is going to turn into the law of diminishing returns, ala John Cena giving Big Show the AA over and over.

Post match here is Becky Lynch to pull Belair outside and the beating is on again. Becky wraps a chair around Belair’s throat and pulls her into the post by the hair to leave her laying. Lynch says it’s the hair next week.

Smackdown Rebound.

Here is RKBro for their Championship Celebration, complete with an oddly themed set and balloons. Riddle talks about how he feels like he is in a time vortex as he keeps playing last week’s victory in his head. Orton talks about how this is going to be his 18th Wrestlemania appearance and the first time he has gone in as a Tag Team Champion. It is also the first time that he has come in with a partner and he decorated the ring on his own.

It might not be his specialty, but Riddle is happy that Orton remembered his birthday. Sure it’s in ten months, but that is the Viper Mentality. Orton has him popcorn from the concession stand (Riddle’s favorite!), some gum (they’ll share), and something in a bag….but here are the Street Profits to interrupt.

Riddle welcomes them to the party, only to have the Profits get to the point: they beat RKBro a few weeks ago and want the title shot at Wrestlemania. Orton says they had to jump through every hoop and put in the effort to get there, so the Profits get no shot. That doesn’t work for the Profits, who aren’t just asking.

Orton doesn’t like being told what to do in this ring and threatens to listen to the voices and make them leave. Riddle tries to calm things down, saying that the Profits did beat them and they have to defend against someone. Riddle talks Orton into the match and it is officially accepted, but the Profits insult the celebration. That’s not cool with Riddle, who wants to face Ford right now. Sure.

Montez Ford vs. Riddle

Ford takes him down to start but the standing moonsault is countered into a triangle. That’s escaped in a hurry and Riddle is sent into the corner for a back rake. Riddle shrugs it off and rolls some gutwrench suplexes for two. It works so well that Riddle tries it again but this time Ford sends him outside. The big dive to the floor is pulled out of the air but Ford backflips out of a German suplex. Ford hits his own dive to take Riddle down as we go to a break.

Back with Ford getting two off of a splash but missing the frog splash. Riddle hits his running forearms in the corner, setting up an Orton powerslam (which draws Orton up to the apron to applaud). There’s the hanging DDT and the RKO connects but here is the Alpha Academy to jump Dawkins and Orton. Otis pulls Riddle to the floor for the DQ at 8:59.

Rating: C+. The sigh I let out as soon as the Alpha Academy interfered told me everything I needed to know about this story. You have a fine match with the Profits vs. RKBro, but the Academy is added in as well. Yes that makes sense and they should get another shot at the belts, but my goodness I’m sick of triple threat matches. The fact that these three pretty much are the tag division (at least what matters of it) isn’t a good sign either and the match is likely going to be bogged down by trying to fit in so many people. The Profits were acting a bit more villainish here though, which is at least something different.

Post match Alpha Academy beats Ford down, because WE MUST HAVE A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!!!

We get the Scott hall tribute video. Dang that’s a hard one to see.

Long recap on Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins, as they are still friends but now Rollins wants Owens’ spot at Wrestlemania.

We look back at Bianca Belair being attacked by Becky Lynch, resulting in throat trauma.

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins

The winner gets to interview Steve Austin at Wrestlemania and the bell rings at 10:43, FIFTEEN MINUTES after Owens’ music started (two commercials, the recap, and the Belair update). Owens shouts about it being his spot at Wrestlemania and hammers away in the corner. Rollins reverses and does the same before taking Owens down for a kick to the back. Some shots to the leg get Owens out of trouble and he kicks Rollins’ knee out. A leglock goes on but Rollins slams his head into the mat to escape.

They fight to the apron with Rollins hitting a backdrop. Owens catches the dive though and hits a (Razor Ramon) fall away slam into the barricade. The backsplash crushes Rollins and we take a break. Back with Owens hitting the Cannonball in the corner for two and kicking Rollins in the knee. Rollins is right back with a Downward Spiral into the corner and the Sling Blade.

The top rope knee sends Owens outside for the suicide dive, followed by another one over the announcers’ table. Back in and a superkick into the frog splash gets two but Owens is back with the spinning superplex for two of his own. The Stunner is blocked and Owens is almost ran into the referee in the corner. That sends the referee outside, meaning Rollins’ rollup only gets two. Rollins yells at the referee so he misses the Stomp and bangs up his knee. The Stunner lets Owens keep what he already had at Wrestlemania at 14:46.

Rating: B-. It was a good match but this story is so annoyingly stupid that I can’t bring myself to care about what they are doing. Rollins wasn’t this distraught about losing a World Title but he might not get on the biggest show of the year, despite some people just adding themselves to it (like OWENS for example) for the last few weeks. Owens gained nothing from this and now we get to see them do something similar next week, with Wrestlemania being less than three weeks away. Not quite the Mega Powers exploding.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s kind of amazing to see what happens when you don’t have a World Title story to build towards on a show. Instead of focusing on something else, they’re dragging out the idea of the Road to Wrestlemania rather than Wrestlemania itself. The rest of the show isn’t going as badly, but it still feels like they are filling in time before we actually get to the point. That’s a bad sign with less than three weeks to go before Wrestlemania, but it is how WWE has worked over the last few years. Not a good show this week, as we continue the slow, dry build to Wrestlemania.

Results
Damian Priest b. Finn Balor – Reckoning
Omos b. Commander Azeez – Chokeslam
Liv Morgan b. Queen Zelina – Oblivion
Mysterios b. Hurt Business – Frog splash to Alexander
Bianca Belair b. Doudrop – KOD
Riddle b. Montez Ford via DQ when Otis interfered
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins – Stunner

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2022
Location: Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means we are probably going to start some of the harder pushes to the show this week. In theory we should be getting some more matches set for the show, as probably about half of it has been set. There is also a Tag Team Title match this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with clips from Madison Square Garden where Roman Reigns and the Usos laid out Brock Lesnar and left him bloody to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here are Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins for a chat before their Tag Team Title shot. Rollins is fired up and Owens talks about how the deck has been stacked against them all year. Tonight though, they’re taking the titles and going to Wrestlemania! That’s great, but they have to compete in the dump known as Dallas. Being there with Rollins will make it more bearable though and we look at some clips of how we got to this title match. Owens goes on a rant against the other team, including saying that Shorty G. and Otis suck.

Cue Alpha Academy, now with a SHHHHHHHUSH at the start of their entrance. Chad Gable lists off his resume and throws in a THANK YOU regarding how they are going to retain their titles. We cut to RKBro in the back, where the team is rather fired up to get their titles back. Riddle digs it.

Tag Team Titles: Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens vs. RKBro vs. Alpha Academy

Alpha Academy is defending, there are three people in the ring at once and you can only tag your own partner. Rollins takes Riddle and Gable down to start and hands it off to Owens to take over. Owens steps on Riddle’s bare foot and hits a DDT for two before running Gable over as well. A Vader Bomb elbow gets two on Gable and it’s back to Rollins with a top rope crossbody to Riddle and Gable.

The two of them are sent outside so Rollins can hit a suicide dive, followed by Owens’ Swanton for two on Gable as we take a break. Back with Otis getting to clean house, including a splash for two on Riddle, with Otis pulling him up. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Otis has to hammer Riddle down to break up the comeback. The Vader Bomb misses though and the hot tag brings in Orton to clean house on Gable and the returning Rollins.

A double hanging DDT takes the two of them down but Gable counters the RKO into the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Orton hits the RKO on Rollins, with Owens making the save. Orton drops Gable and Owens onto the announcers’ table, and RKBro combines to drop Otis onto it as we take another break.

Back again with Riddle hitting the Floating Bro for two on Rollins with Owens making the save. Otis gives Orton a World’s Strongest Slam and it’s a Vader Bomb into Gable’s moonsault for two as Rollins makes the save. Gable slips out of a Rollins’ superplex attempt so let’s just make it a Tower of Doom with Owens sending everyone down instead. Everything breaks down and it’s a big brawl to send us to a third break.

Back again with most everyone on the floor and Riddle going up top. Rollins breaks that up and gets two off an Alberto double stomp. Riddle gets Rollins into a triangle choke but it’s Gable making the save this time. Gable hits rolling German suplexes on Orton, Rollins and Riddle before going up top for the moonsault….which Orton catches in an RKO for some AMAZING timing. Rollins and Owens break that up though and it’s a buckle bomb to Gable into a Stunner into the Stomp but Riddle throws Rollins out and steals the pin and the titles at 27:02.

Rating: B. This got a lot of time (a crazy amount of time for a Raw match) and the title change actually shocked me. After that RKO to Gable, it would have been almost a letdown if they didn’t get the titles here so this is a nice surprise. Good match, though that is assuming you can ignore “HOW WILL THEY GO TO WRESTLEMANIA IF THEY LOSE?????”, which is a dumb story even by WWE standards.

Owens and Rollins are devastated, with Rollins walking off in a trance and Owens talking to himself. Orton talks about how he has never had this much fun in twenty years and he will actually call Riddle his friend. THEY’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Post break, Owens is still in shock.

24/7 Title: Dana Brooke vs. Tamina

Brooke is defending and has Reggie in her corner, while Tamina has Akira Tozawa. Earlier today, Brooke asked Reggie for a good luck kiss and got just that. On the other hand, Tozawa asked Tamina for one and was kissed hard into a wall for his efforts. Tamina clotheslines her down to start but gets caught with the handspring elbow in the corner. Another clothesline takes Brooke down again though and we hit the Boston crab. Brooke finally powers out and grabs a bad looking rollup to retain at 1:45. Believe it or not, Brooke survived in her hometown.

Post match Tozawa says Brooke cheated and says the winner of the match is the love of his life, Tamina. Tozawa preps for another kiss but she walks by him, teases coming back, blows him a kiss, and then leaves.

Seth Rollins still can’t talk.

We look at Roman Reigns attacking Brock Lesnar at MSG again.

Here is the Miz for a chat. Miz says he’s home and says that the cheers he receives are respect. We see Dominik Mysterio insulting Logan Paul, who is Miz’s special guest this week. Cue Paul, who says it is good to be home and he is honored to be going to Wrestlemania as Miz’s partner. Paul talks about growing up in Cleveland and went to high school here, with Cleveland making him the man he is today.

They don’t like Dominik riding on Rey’s coat tails because that isn’t how they do it here in Cleveland. Speaking of Cleveland, here is another Cleveland native: Jerry Lawler. After a rather nice reaction, Lawler lists off some Ohio towns where he lived over the years and thanks Miz for inviting him here.

Lawler looks at the Wrestlemania sign and thinks it would be great to have the show right here in Cleveland. Miz doesn’t think much of that idea because Cleveland isn’t exactly a Wrestlemania city. Miz: “YOU WERE JUST CHEERING ME AND NOW YOU’RE BOOING ME???” This city couldn’t even handle the pyro without the lake catching on fire. No one stays here, just like when the Browns or LeBron James left. Miz says he and Paul can go on to a real Wrestlemania city and leaves, with an unsure Paul following. This was kind of a weird segment as I’m not sure what it accomplished other than having Lawler out there.

We look back at Dolph Ziggler’s recent issues with Tommaso Ciampa.

Bron Breakker and Tommaso Ciampa are here to face Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode in a rematch of last week’s NXT. Breakker is excited and ready to go before defending the NXT Title against Ziggler and Ciampa tomorrow night.

The Street Profits are asked what they think about having no path to Wrestlemania but point out that they beat RKBro last week.

Bron Breakker/Tommaso Ciampa vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Breakker shrugs off Roode’s headlock to start and muscles him up for a suplex. It’s off to Ciampa for a clothesline and a chinlock before being driven into the wrong corner. That’s enough to send Ciampa outside and we take a break. Back with Ciampa in trouble and getting caught with a double back elbow.

Ciampa manages a jumping knee and it’s back to Breakker to clean house. Ziggler knees Breakker in the face for a breather but the gorilla press….is broken up by Roode. A rollup gives Ziggler two but Breakker charges into the post. The Zig Zag connects for two with Ciampa making the save. Another jumping knee sends Roode outside and the gorilla press powerslam finishes Ziggler at 9:37.

Rating: C+. Breakker getting to debut on Raw is a nice touch as it’s clear that he’s just here as a guest star. I like the idea of presenting some NXT wrestlers on Raw every week, if nothing else just for the sake of building up some of what they’re doing. Good match here, as Breakker looked composed enough on the bigger stage.

Post match Ziggler says that was one win and promises to take the title tomorrow night when Breakker crumbles.

Video on Omos.

Omos is asked if he has a path to Wrestlemania (OH SHUT UP ALREADY!) and asks how many people he has to dominate.

Omos vs. Apollo Crews

Commander Azeez is here with Crews and Omos says he’s next. Omos runs Crews over to start and we’re already on the double arm crank. The rather slow paced Omos forearms Crews off the apron and out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Crews hits a jumping enziguri but gets chokeslammed for the pin at 2:42.

Post match Azeez comes in to check on Crews so Omos laughs at him.

We look back at AJ Styles accepting Edge’s Wrestlemania challenge, sending Edge into a rage and crushing him with two Conchairtos.

Here is Edge, but his entrance is very different this time, as his music cuts off and a dark spotlight comes on him as he walks to the ring. After taking his sweet time getting into the ring, Edge says “you think you know me?”. Tonight he is going to talk to AJ Styles but make sure you put the kids to bed first. Edge did what he did last week to bring out the real AJ Styles.

It was a new Edge too, as he pealed back his head and saw the real him, which he had never seen before. That is an Edge that he has fallen in love with and now he feels in control of everything that happens in this ring. Edge is standing on the mountain of omnipotence and the view is phenomenal. A closeup of Edge’s face wraps it up. The entrance was good but it felt like this got cut off before he got to the point.

Kevin Owens never wants to feel how he felt after that loss again. He just had an epiphany and it is the idea that is going to change his entire Wrestlemania future. There are details to iron out, but he has a plan that he will reveal later tonight.

We look at the Reigns/Lesnar MSG clip again.

Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina

Non-title but if Morgan and Ripley win, they are added to the Wrestlemania Women’s Tag Team Title match. No entrance for the champs here as Morgan sends Carmella into the corner to start. That just annoys Carmella so Ripley comes in and cleans house until Zelina hits a tornado DDT. Carmella superkicks Ripley into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Vega cranking on Ripley but she kicks Carmella in the face (with a Munsters reference on commentary), allowing the hot tag to Morgan. Everything breaks down and Graces gets off commentary to check on Carmella. Zelina kicks Morgan in the face but there is no Carmella to tag. Vega yells at Carmella, who is talking to Graves, allowing Morgan to….not really hit the Codebreaker. Ripley comes in and hits Riptide for the pin at 9:03.

Rating: D. It was sloppy, it was long and the ending was about promoting WWE’s newest stupid reality show. This was one of the more annoying things I’ve seen WWE do in a long time and it sets up the “let’s throw everyone in one match at Wrestlemania for the most worthless belts in the company” deal, because that’s easier than putting in some work to make a better story.

Vader is going to the Hall of Fame. In his words, it’s time.

Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor

Non-title and after a video on Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee, we’re ready to go. Theory takes him up against the ropes for some shots to the back to start but Balor gets in a few shots of his own to take over. We take a break and come back with Theory in control and knocking Balor down again, but ATL is escaped. A running dropkick into the corner knocks Theory silly but here’s Damian Priest to break up the Coup de Grace for the DQ at 8:36.

Rating: C. This was just kind of there and that isn’t a great sign for the start of Balor’s title reign. Priest vs. the Demon is the kind of Wrestlemania idea that writes itself and odds are that is where we’re going. I’m not sure how well the match will go, but at least both Balor and Theory have a likely Wrestlemania match set up.

Post match Priest powerbombs Balor and Theory adds the ATL for the sake of picture taking.

Bianca Belair (now in a Don’t Touch The Hair top) is ready to put the EST in Wrestlemania. Of note: Becky Lynch was said to be injured during an incident with Belair the previous night and isn’t here.

Here is Kevin Owens for his big Wrestlemania idea. He doesn’t have a match to Wrestlemania so he needs a path to get to the event. That’s why he is going to have the biggest Kevin Owen Show of all time, but that means he needs a special guest. He needs someone from Texas, so maybe he could have JBL. Nah, as the horns on his limo are more interesting. Booker T? The guy who spent most of his career as part of a tag team called HARLEM Heat? Shawn Michaels is a proud Texan…but Owens is a proud Canadian so on behalf of Bret Hart, SHAWN MICHAELS IS NOT INVITED!

That leaves one Texas legend and he is someone who is probably drinking a lot of beer. When he was in WWE, he had to wear knee braces to get through his matches. Owens would love to have this guy come here so he can give him a Stunner and then pour out a glass of milk. He finally gets to it and challenges Steve Austin to Wrestlemania. You knew that was coming in some way so this is about as good as it’s going to get.

Overall Rating: C-. Most of the wrestling was good, but a few of the big talking segments (Miz, Edge) kind of flopped. They did set up/advance some things for Wrestlemania, but this HOW WILL THEY GET THERE stuff is dreadful. It treats fans like they have never watched Wrestlemania before as there is no reason to believe that most of these people won’t be on the show in some way. There are other ways to set up a Wrestlemania match and hearing the same thing over and over again all night got old fast. There were some good parts here, but it felt like WWE was overthinking the build to the show more often than not.

Results
RKBro b. Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens and Alpha Academy – Stomp to Gable
Dana Brooke b. Tamina – Rollup
Bron Breakker/Tommaso Ciampa b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Gorilla press powerslam to Ziggler
Omos b. Apollo Crews – Chokeslam
Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley b. Queen Zelina/Carmella – Riptide to Zelina
Finn Balor b. Austin Theory via DQ when Damian Priest interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.