Smackdown
Date: March 26, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It is time to start the real final push to Wrestlemania because we are finally done with Fastlane. There is a really strong possibility that Daniel Bryan is added to the Wrestlemania main event and after the pay per view, that is the best thing that they could do. Other than that, there is a good chance that we are going to be able to see something else added to the show, as we have three Smackdowns left. Let’s get to it.

Here is Fastlane if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Fastlane main event, with Edge costing Daniel Bryan the Universal Title. Roman Reigns tapping to Bryan did feel like a huge deal.

Here is Daniel Bryan with a chair to get things going (now complete with an info graphic saying “actually made Roman Reigns tap out at Fastlane”). Bryan talks about how everyone saw Reigns tap at Fastlane, even though Reigns said he would rather die than tap. Then Edge hit him in the back with a steel chair because Edge thinks everyone should let us see the Edge vs. Roman Reigns dream match.

Bryan is tired of everyone having a dream match but him, so he is willing to earn everything again. He wants Roman Reigns for the Universal Title tonight and is sitting right here until he gets his shot. Post break, Bryan is still sitting in the ring and after a recap of what he said before the break, here is Adam Pearce to say the referee’s decision is final. Reigns is still the Universal Champion and his next title defense will be against Edge at WrestleMania.

Bryan understands and says he can face the winner immediately after Reigns vs. Edge is over. Pearce says no and Bryan calls him out for the double standard. How about this: Edge vs. Reigns on the first night and Bryan vs. the winner on second night? Cue Edge to say every match he wrestles could be his last one and he is sick of hearing from Bryan after Bryan last twice. The fight is on and Edge hits a quick spear before unloading with the chair. Edge stares a lot and egads don’t go to a closeup of him these days.

Roman Reigns tells Jey Uso to deal with this and use force if he has to.

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Fastlane rematch. Nakamura starts fast and gets Good Vibrations in the corner. A knee to the back on the apron rocks Rollins and we take a break. Back with Rollins getting in some crossface shots to slow Nakamura down. Nakamura fights up and hits a running knee, followed by the sliding German suplex. Nakamura’s running knee hits the buckle though and Rollins connects with the springboard knee to the head. A Falcon Arrow gets two but Nakamura is right back with a spinning kick to the head. The reverse exploder sets up the Landslide as the camera goes into a much closer angle. Rollins gets caught in the cross armbreaker but he powerbombs his way to freedom. The Stomp finishes Nakamura at 9:11.

Rating: C+. It was a fairly hard hitting match but the point here was to keep Rollins looking strong. Now you would think that they could fine a way to do that other than just doing the same thing that they did on Sunday, but that’s not how WWE works. Cesaro vs. Rollins is all but a lock for Wrestlemania and this was a good way to set that up. Just not a way we needed to see twice.

Post match Rollins stays on him but here’s the returning Cesaro to suplex Rollins down. The Swing is loaded up but Rollins bails in a hurry.

Jey Uso brings Adam Pearce in to see Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns. Heyman introduces Pearce to Reigns, who seems to have this himself. Reigns does not want Pearce to make the wrong decision but Pearce will have a decision made by the end of the night. This does not please Reigns.

Rollins has a fit over the idea that Cesaro tried to Swing him and challenges him to Wrestlemania. Cesaro will NEVER Swing him again, but here’s Cesaro to Swing him again and accept the challenge.

Big E./Street Profits vs. Apollo Crews/Alpha Academy

Crews vs. Big E. for the Intercontinental Title is set for the second night of WrestleMania. Dawkins dropkicks Otis to start and hands it off to Ford, who is planted with a powerslam. Back up and Ford tries a sunset flip but Gable reverses it into a northern lights suplex (that was sweet) for two. Crews’ delayed vertical suplex is countered though and it’s back to Big E. to start cleaning house.

Gable countered the Big Ending into an armbar but the Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Gable again. Everything breaks down and a discus lariat sends Dawkins into a German suplex from Gable. Ford lands on the floor and flips back in, setting up the huge running flip dive to drop the Academy. Crews comes in off a blind tag though and the Angle Slam finishes Big E. at 4:05.

Rating: C+. This was certainly energetic and I’m still impressed by what Otis has been doing as of late. He has gone from a goofy face to a pretty solid monster and that is more than I would have bet from him. Then there is Crews though and I can’t bring myself to get interested in him again after Big E. has beaten him multiple times. He almost has to win the title, but I can’t quite picture that happening. Just find someone else for Big E. to face already.

We look at Sami Zayn attacking Kevin Owens last week.

Edge isn’t happy and complains to Adam Pearce, who says his responsibilities are to WWE. He’ll make his decision at the end of the night, so Edge makes some not too veiled threats about how Pearce better make the right decision.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show. Owens talks about how he has a history with Sami Zayn and will always have his back, even if Sami is a little insane. Cue Sami to say that of course he is sorry but above all else, he wants Owens at this red carpet premiere for the trailer for his documentary. Sami has even been in contact with Logan Paul, as in the Youtube sensation with 23 million subscribers and he’s going to be here next week! Owens doesn’t care about any of that and challenges Sami for the one on one match at Wrestlemania. Sami reluctantly agrees so Owens beats him up anyway.

Daniel Bryan tells Adam Pearce to make the right decision.

We look at Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks failing to win the Women’s Tag Team Titles at Fastlane.

Bianca Belair isn’t happy with Banks but knows she is good enough to win the SmackDown Women’s Title. As for tonight, she is going to teach Natalya a lesson.

Natalya vs. Bianca Belair

Tamina is here with Natalya. Belair shoulders Natalya outside in a hurry and the chase goes badly in a hurry. Back in and Belair avoids the basement dropkick and plants Natalya. Cue Sasha Banks for a distraction and Tamina gets in a superkick to send us to a break. Back with Banks on commentary and Belair putting on a surfboard. Natalya is right back up with a shot to the face but the tornado DDT is countered into a suplex.

Banks does not seem to think much of Belair’s Royal Rumble performance and NO she is not worried about her spot on Smackdown. Belair elbows Natalya in the face and hits a spinebuster for two. The Lionsault is supposed to miss but lands on Natalya’s back anyway. A small package gives Belair two more and Natalya is right back with the discus lariat for two more. They head outside with Belair whipping Natalya into Banks for a big crash. Back in and the KOD finishes Natalya at 9:47.

Rating: C. It’s not a good sign when you have to be worried about Natalya stealing a win here or there because WWE likes to add her into thinks so often. I’m still expecting her and Tamina to be added into the Women’s Tag Team Title match (whatever that is going to be) but for now at least Belair beat her. Banks vs. Belair is a fine feud on its own and they really don’t need anyone else being added into the thing.

Post match Banks comes in for a Backstabber to Belair.

Edge comes in to Roman Reigns and doesn’t like Daniel Bryan trying to take their spotlight. Reigns knows what that is like (with Edge saying it took place in 2014 and only being a year off) so they should take care of him.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Rey and Dominik Mysterio talk about wanting to win the Tag Team Titles. Rey avoids a charge to start but Ziggler picks up the leg. That earns him a hurricanrana to the floor but another one is countered with a powerbomb over the barricade for a huge crash. Ziggler superkicks Dominik and we take a break.

Back with Rey still in trouble but he manages to roll away and kick Ziggler in the head for two. The Fameasser gives Ziggler the same but Rey is right back with a 619 attempt. That draws in Bobby Roode which draws in Dominik, who gets dropped to the floor. Rey loads up a springboard but Ziggler pulls him down with a Zig Zag for a close two. Back up and Rey counters what appears to be a powerbomb into another 619 though and the frog splash is good for the pin at 8:19.

Rating: C. I don’t have the vocabulary to explain how little I care about seeing the Mysterios vs. Roode/Ziggler in a title match at Wrestlemania. It is hard enough to make myself focus on anything those people are doing when they are in the ring and the idea of seeing them in a Wrestlemania title match makes my head hurt. The wrestling is fine but egads there is just nothing to get interested in there.

Great Khali and Kane are going into the Hall of Fame.

Here’s Adam Pearce for the big decision. Roman Reigns, Edge and Daniel Bryan join him and Pearce gets to the point: Reigns will defend the title once at Wrestlemania and it will be in a triple threat match. Then we cut to an ad for the FOX 10pm news and come back with Edge down and Reigns hammering on Bryan.

Jey Uso throws in a chair but Edge spears him down and beats up the other two. Edge lays them out with the chair and drops the agents for trying to break up the Conchairto. The distraction lets Bryan escape so Edge has a seat in the middle of the ring to end the show. That was the only way to go after Fastlane and thankfully they didn’t waste time.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t the point here as they did exactly what Raw did on Monday: ramped up a lot of things for Wrestlemania and built up the Smackdown side of the card in one night. It wasn’t a great show on its own, but it accomplished a lot of things and made me want to see the pay per view a little bit more. That’s what they needed to do and it worked out well, with three matches added and the main event adjusted. Wrestlemania still doesn’t look great, but at least there is something to look at.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Stomp

Apollo Crews/Alpha Academy b. Big E./Street Profits – Angle Slam to Big E.

Bianca Belair b. Natalya – KOD

Rey Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler – Frog splash

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Fastlane 2021
Date: March 21, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Michael Cole, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

It’s time for the show that doesn’t exactly seem like it needs to exist but actually doesn’t look too bad on paper. There are some matches here which could be pretty good, though you never can tell with a show like this. A lot of the promise might come from the fact that the expectations are so low, but take whatever you can get. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Riddle vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali is challenging and also has Retribution with him. Riddle snaps off a gutwrench suplex for two to start but Ali gets in a suplex of his own. Ali wraps Riddle’s leg around the post and then swings him around to send Riddle’s head into the post as well. There’s a dropkick to the ribs but Ali stops to brag to Retribution. The bodyscissors stays on the ribs and there’s a dropkick to the back to give Ali two more.

Ali seems to be favoring his knee before he slaps on another bodyscissors. Riddle reverses into a sleeper but Ali flips backwards for two to break things up. A Pele kick knocks Ali into the corner and there’s the PK to the chest. Riddle hits a Final Flash for two more but the Floating Bro hits knees.

Ali’s tornado DDT is countered into a fisherman’s buster but Ali snaps on a Koji Clutch. Riddle finally picks him up and gently drops him down for the break, which has Ali smiling at Retribution. Ali talks trash and crotches Riddle on top, only to charge into a sleeper while Riddle is still on top. Riddle isn’t done though and pulls him up for a super Bro Derek to retain at 9:19.

Rating: C+. That’s how I like my Riddle: turning on the jets to run someone over because there is no way to keep up with him. It’s nice to see him crank up the seriousness every now and then and that is what we got here. Retribution has been done for a long time now an it wouldn’t surprise me to see them split up before we even get to Wrestlemania.

Post match Ali blames the rest of Retribution with Reckoning being specifically called out. Reckoning walks out and Slapjack follows her. Ali keeps yelling at Mace and T-Bar, who lay him out with a double chokeslam.

The opening video looks at the main matches and how everyone is trying to make it to Wrestlemania.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

Jax and Baszler are defending and have Reginald in their corner. Both teams are bickering coming in because that’s a really popular idea around here. Banks and Baszler start things off and we’re at about nine camera cuts in the first five seconds. Baszler is knocked into the corner for the slingshot knees and Belair comes in for two off a standing moonsault. Belair blocks an attempt at a triangle choke with straight power so Baszler hits her in the face.

Jax tags herself in, much to Baszler’s annoyance, and the champs start taking turns working over on Belair. Jax chokes away and it’s back to Baszler to work on an armbar. It’s back to Jax for a cobra clutch but Belair fights up. A missed charge sends Jax shoulder first into the post and the hot tag brings Banks back in to clean house.

Belair comes back in with a 450 to Baszler but Reginald offers a distraction. After a forearm takes care of him, the Bank Statement has Baszler in trouble. Belair goes to cut off Jax, who shoves Belair into Banks to break the hold. That lets Banks and Belair argue some more so Baszler rolls Banks up to retain at 8:46.

Rating: C. The match was fine enough but egads it’s annoying seeing the women be either best friends or arguing all the time. It’s like they have two emotions to choose from and that’s not exactly interesting. On top of that, the Women’s Champion just got pinned by someone who isn’t going to mention going after the title because that’s not what we’re doing right now. Instead, Baszler is just going to be happy that she has a path to Wrestlemania. The logic and lack of planning from this company is astounding. Oh and what was the point of Tamina and Natalya jumping Belair on Smackdown?

Post match Belair and Banks argue again, with Banks calling her a rookie. Banks hits a heck of a slap to the face and leaves while holding the title.

Shane McMahon injured himself in training earlier today and is limping around with ice wrapped around his knee. Elias comes up to say he has an idea for the most epic musical performance ever at Wrestlemania (How many of those is he going to have???). He’s willing to do anything and Shane might have an idea.

We recap Apollo Crews vs. Big E. Crews has channeled his Nigerian royal heritage and is being more aggressive. He has attacked Big E. over and over again but Big E. won’t give him another title shot. Then Crews went too far and it was time for a showdown/beating.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Big E. is defending and the slugout is on in a hurry. The spear through the ropes drops Crews in less than thirty seconds with Big E. saying this is what Crews wanted. There’s the apron splash and, after a lot of shouting, another apron splash cruses Crews again. Big E. hits an overhead belly to belly and shouts about how much he has worked for this.

There’s another suplex but Crews kicks the knee out to cut Big E. down. A German suplex sends Big E. flying again and a frog splash gets two. Crews’ toss powerbomb is countered and they fight over a small package with Big E. getting a pin…..maybe…..to retain at 5:44. Commentary seemed to be rather unsure about whose shoulders were down.

Rating: C+. This was all action and while the ending isn’t exactly inspiring (How many times can they do the same thing with these two?), this was the Big E. that fans have been wanting to cheer for a long time now. I could see this version getting a heck of a push and that is a rather appealing idea. Crews looked good too, but it isn’t going to matter if he keeps losing over and over.

Post match Crews stays on Big E. with an Angle Slam and stands over him, declaring himself the Intercontinental Champion.

A guy named Joseph Average is giving out Old Spice samples. R-Truth is in the samples case and Average wins the title by accident. Then R-Truth wins it back and runs off, picking up the samples on the way. Akira Tozawa shows up to yell at Average but gets freaked out by his Nightpanther shirt. The Average guy looked a lot like Ric Bugenhagen.

We look at Shane McMahon getting injured again.

Shane is in the ring with Elias and Jaxson Ryker for a Wrestlemania preview. Hold on though as Shane forgot to mention something: Elias is taking his place.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Strowman jumps him fast to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Elias gets knocked outside where he and Jaxson Ryker consider leaving, only to get run over by Strowman. Back in and a Ryker distraction lets Elias get in a chop block and DDT. The top rope elbow doesn’t work though and Strowman this the running powerslam for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness we get to stretch out Shane vs. Strowman, because that is something worth waiting on. I’m still not sure why I should want to see that match but WWE is not about to let it go until (and possibly after) Wrestlemania. Strowman winning makes up a tiny bit of the mess from Raw but there is only so much good that can come from the whole thing.

We recap the Kickoff Show match with Retribution seemingly breaking up.

Riddle bumps into Shinsuke Nakamura and tries to get him into the business of dressing up a scooter like a stallion with a bubble machine. Then he tells a story about his cousin Skeeter the skater hurting himself at the skate park….but Nakamura has disappeared. Riddle leaves and Nakamura is back.

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is standing up for Cesaro after Rollins took him out. Rollins’ headlock doesn’t last long to start as Nakamura fires off some knees to put him on the floor. Back in and Rollins knocks Nakamura to the floor for a change, allowing him to shout about disrespect. Some shots to the back keep Nakamura in trouble and we hit the waistlock. A knee drop gives Rollins two (via a pair of ones) but he stops to shout about Cesaro swinging him 22 times.

Rollins loads up his own Swing but Nakamura sends him outside for a baseball slide. A running knee sets up the kicks to Rollins’ chest, including Good Vibrations. The middle rope kick is cut off with a shove to the floor and there’s the suicide dive to send Nakamura into the barricade. Back in and Rollins hits the springboard knee to the head into the Sling Blade for two. The Falcon Arrow is blocked and they slug it out, including an exchange of kicks to the head.

Nakamura sends him into the corner for the sliding German suplex but Rollins is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two. Back up and Nakamura hits the Landslide into the reverse exploder for two more. Rollins misses a kick to the head but hooks his foot on Nakamura’s leg so he can use the other leg to kick him in the back of the head (that’s a new one). The Stomp finishes Nakamura at 12:59.

Rating: B-. That’s the match you would expect from these two as it was hard hitting with both guys beating each other up rather well. There was zero doubt as to who was winning as we know what Rollins is doing at Wrestlemania, but it was nice to have something other than just going through the motions. By far the best thing on the show so far.

Rhea Ripley is on Raw tomorrow.

We recap Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre, with a focus on how far they have both come in twenty years. They had been friends for that whole time but everything broke down because Sheamus wanted McIntyre’s WWE Title. They have fought twice since then and now it is No Holds Barred to decide the winner. There was some cool stuff from Europe in there to make this feel a lot more personal.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

No Holds Barred and McIntyre has his face painted like the Scottish flag. Sheamus shouts (as someone has done in every match tonight) about twenty years to start so McIntyre suplexes him down. They’re on the floor in a hurry with McIntyre beating up against the announcers’ table but getting sent into the post. It’s time for the weapons, including a bunch of kendo sticks being thrown inside.

McIntyre takes too much time picking one up, allowing Sheamus to knock it into his face. Some stick shots to the back have McIntyre in trouble but he headbutts Sheamus down. Now it’s McIntyre’s turn to hammer away with the stick to send Sheamus outside. McIntyre follows but gets sent into the steps, which Sheamus then uses to hit him in the face. They fight to the announcers’ table with Sheamus being sent into the barricade and then into what would be the crowd.

The slugout is on until Sheamus muscles him over with a suplex. They fight into the stands with Sheamus not being able to hit White Noise. Instead Sheamus is sent through some of the screens for some sparks and glares from Drew. It’s back to ringside with McIntyre hitting another suplex on the floor to knock him even sillier. Sheamus is right back up with a Brogue kick but seems to be badly favoring his hip.

After shouting that Drew kept him from Wrestlemania, Sheamus hits White Noise from the barricade through the announcers’ table for the huge crash. They get back inside with Sheamus holding a piece of the busted table. That takes too long though as McIntyre hits him in the face and grabs the Futureshock. The Claymore finishes Sheamus at 19:40.

Rating: B. It went a bit long but they beat the fire out of each other and had some rather nice big spots. That’s about all you could have expected here as I don’t think there was any realistic expectation that Sheamus would win. This was about beating each other up for a long time and what we got here. Good stuff, and exactly what it should have been.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Randy Orton. Bliss is mad that Orton lit the Fiend on fire to get rid of him and started using evil powers on him. Tonight, she has offered Orton the chance to get rid of her for good.

Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss

The black goo starts coming out of Orton’s mouth during the entrance so he…..demands a towel. Bliss comes out and stands across the ring for the bell, so Orton charges into a wall of flames. Orton misses a charge into the post and the slow motion chase is on. Then a lighting truss falls and nearly crushes Orton, with Bliss saying it was so close.

Bliss sits on the bottom rope and Orton slowly gets back inside where Bliss blows a kiss….and throws a fireball at him. That misses so Bliss sits on the top rope as the ring splits open (seemingly with fire underneath it) and a gloves hand grabs Orton’s leg. The Fiend, now with a charred mask and clothes, pops out. Bliss kicks Orton into Sister Abigail and gets the pin at 4:39.

Rating: D. This wasn’t exactly a match and the ending is their latest venture into a horror movie. What else were you expecting here though? It was all about bringing the Fiend back so we can have the Firefly Fun House match at Wrestlemania, but I’m not exactly thrilled by Randy Orton’s Nightmare On Elm Street.

On Talking Smack, Paul Heyman promised more Roman Reigns destruction at Fastlane.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan. Reigns beat Bryan at Elimination Chamber immediately after Bryan had won the Elimination Chamber. As a result, Bryan wanted a rematch under slightly fairer conditions, which he ultimately earned. This did not sit well with Royal Rumble winner Edge, who thought Bryan getting a shot first was unfair. Edge is going to be the ringside enforcer here as well to make things more interesting. Edge’s complaints are pretty ridiculous as he is guaranteed a title shot no matter what, but we need some drama because Edge vs. Reigns isn’t very interesting.

Universal Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending with Paul Heyman in his corner and Edge is the ringside enforcer. We get the Big Match Intros and the canned noise really favors Bryan. Reigns powers him into the corner to start and Bryan needs to rethink things. The threat of a kneebar sends Reigns bailing to the ropes so Bryan goes for both legs at once. That has Reigns in the ropes again but this time he looks a little more serious. A cross armbreaker has Reigns in the ropes for a third time in the early going and they continue to circle each other.

Reigns’ headlock takeover has Bryan down but he counters into a hammerlock and talks about the importance of technique. Back up again and Reigns hits him in the face to take over, which feels like admitting defeat in the grapple off. Bryan picks up the pace and loads up a running clothesline but charges into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two more. Reigns stomps Bryan down and grabs a chinlock while talking about how his isn’t going to be broken.

Bryan gets thrown outside, where Reigns glares at Edge and sends Bryan into the barricade. Back in and Reigns hammers him down into the corner and tells Bryan to look into the camera and acknowledge him. Bryan manages a few shots of his own though and there’s the running dropkick in the corner. The super hurricanrana is blocked though and Reigns gets him into a Boston crab of all things.

Bryan slips out and strikes away before managing to send Reigns outside. A running knee from the apron rocks Reigns and a top rope knee starts in on Reigns’ shoulder. The missile dropkick gives Bryan a delayed two and Reigns isn’t happy. He knocks Bryan into the corner and unloads with right hands and knees, followed by the stomping on the mat. Bryan is right back with some YES Kicks and the big one puts Reigns down.

The arm trap stomps set up the YES Lock in the middle of the ring and Bryan pulls it back from the ropes to crank on it again. Reigns finally turns it over and unloads with heavy shots to the face to knock Bryan silly. Hold on though as Reigns has to stop to rub his bad arm, allowing Bryan to come back with the running knee….and take out the referee by mistake.

Reigns hits the spear so Edge comes in for very delayed two. That’s not cool with Reigns so he yells at Edge, allowing Bryan to pull him into a triangle choke. Bryan pulls him down into the YES Lock but here’s Jey Uso to break it up and drop Edge. Uso grabs a chair but stops to send Edge shoulder first into the post. Bryan hits the running knee on Uso and chairs him down but Reigns is back up with the Superman Punch.

The spear is countered into the YES Lock though and Reigns is in big trouble. Reigns taps (very subtly to make it better) to no referee and Edge chairs Bryan over and over. Edge shouts that this is his and leaves as another referee comes in, about seven minutes after the first one went down, to count Reigns’ pin on Bryan at 30:00.

Rating: A. Well that was excellent. This was a near master class in storytelling as Bryan was slowly picking Reigns apart with technique and the never say die attitude but Reigns just bombarded him with one heavy shot after another. I would have loved for this to have headlined Wrestlemania but alas it was left here where it won’t get the attention that it deserves.

The ending was annoying (as Edge’s stuff for needing the big moment after winning the Royal Rumble from #1 continues to sound ridiculous) but I get what they are going for. They absolutely have to go with the triple threat now and that should be amazing. Watch this match and take notes because it is one of the best storytelling displays I have seen in a very long time.

Overall Rating: B+. The big matches delivered and the bad matches were kept short, with the main event being a half hour instant classic. I’m not sure what more you could ask for out of a low level show that was over in less than three hours. I had a great time with the main event and most of the rest of the show was very good as well. It means almost nothing in the grand scheme of things and most of Wrestlemania is set, but dang this had some fun moments. Heck of a show, and that isn’t the biggest surprise.

Results

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks – Rollup to Banks

Big E. b. Apollo Crews – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Elias – Running powerslam

Seth Rollins b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Stomp

Drew McIntyre b. Sheamus – Brogue Kick

Alexa Bliss b. Randy Orton – Sister Abigail

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan – Chair shot from Edge

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

I think we’ve talked enough about how unimportant this show is as even WWE has seemed to acknowledge it. They have gone out of their way to start advertising Wrestlemania already, mainly because it is taking place a mere three weeks after Fastlane. That is nowhere near enough time for a Wrestlemania build but at least they are doing something with it in advance. That means at the cost of Fastlane, but how many people are going to care? Let’s get to it.

Alexa Bliss vs. Randy Orton

Let’s get this out of the way early because this story has been awful. Odds are this is going to set up the return of the Fiend, or whatever the latest Bray Wyatt incarnation we’re getting, to get us to the final blowoff at Wrestlemania. I’ve been dreading this since the second they announced it because it is going to have a lot of supernatural shenanigans and that is not a good thing.

Since this is not likely to be a match but is billed as one anyway, I’ll take Bliss to “win”, as I can’t imagine Orton actually doing anything to her. I know it’s going to be bad and I don’t need to see it, but at least it’s better than watching Orton vs. the Fiend again….or at least I think it is. Anyway, Bliss wins the non-match.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler(c) vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

This is a tried and kind of true method of building towards a singles title match and thankfully we seem to have moved past the point of doing a title change here, as it would be one of the worse things that they could do. What worries me is the amount of Reginald that could be involved, because WWE REALLY wants to do that Jax Likes A Small Guy story for whatever reason.

I’ll take the champs to retain here, even though they have no other challengers and have done about all they can with the belts. Banks vs. Belair needs to be a story about the two of them instead of the two of them dealing with other people, so hopefully that is where we go after this match ends. I’m not sure what to expect going forward, but these stories need to be split up already.

Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman

Why? What did we do to deserve this, which very well may set up a rematch at Wrestlemania? I know Shane is a McMahon and that makes him one of the stars of the show, but it does not make him fun to watch in the ring. McMahon has been the face in this story since the beginning and watching him outsmart Strowman and beat him up on Monday didn’t help things.

For the sake of my sanity, I’ll take Strowman here, but I don’t think I have much of a reason to believe that is correct. There is little reason for this match to take place other than getting Shane in the ring again and the green slime deal did not make things any better. We’re pretty much down to hoping for a miracle with this one and that is not a good place to be.

US Title: Riddle(c) vs. Mustafa Ali

Redemption almost has to be coming to an end sooner or later a they have been on fumes for the entirety of their run. Maybe they get a boost if Ali can win the title here, but it’s not like anything else they have done has worked so far. The team is so far removed from its original identity that they don’t really even have characters anymore, so winning a title might give them a little something to focus on.

That being said, I can’t imagine they take the title off of Riddle so soon so I’ll go with him retaining and furthering Retribution’s problems. At the very least it would be nice to see Mace and T-Bar turned into a tag team as they could give New Day some issues in a hurry. That’s a little ways off though, as Ali has to lose to Riddle first, which is what I see happening here.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Seth Rollins

This was added during this week’s Smackdown and that means you should be able to see the path to Wrestlemania from here. Nakamura is standing up for Cesaro after Rollins took him out the previous week, like any good friend should be doing. That will likely set up Rollins vs. Cesaro at Wrestlemania, but first we have to get through this one and it should be a fun one.

There is no reason for Nakamura to win here so I’ll take Rollins as he gears up for Tampa and Cesaro. Maybe we can get the good Nakamura here instead of the coasting version, but given how he is feeling in this story, can you blame him for not exactly being thrilled? We might even have a great one in there, but I’m not exactly getting my hopes up for it this time.

Intercontinental Title: Big E.(c) vs. Apollo Crews

I want to like this one and there is a chance that we can get a good match, but everything will fall apart again as soon as Crews starts talking. I know that it is nice for him to have a character, but the combination of Coming To America and Black Panther accent is hurting what would otherwise be an interesting character. Big E. has sold the emotions while still taking a beating, so the potential is there.

I’ll take Big E. to retain here as I can’t imagine they take the title off of him that soon. Throw in the fact that Crews sounds so out there and it is hard to imagine the title changing hands. Crews is better than he was about a year ago, but I have no idea how far they think he is going to go without some adjustments. The talent is there, but as usual with WWE, they aren’t quite hitting the presentation.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

This is No Holds Barred and the Raw main event of the show. That’s not the worst idea in the world as these two have had some pretty awesome matches so far and I could go for watching them beat the fire out of each other on pay per view. There is a slight chance of throwing a monkey wrench into the McIntyre vs. Lashley Wrestlemania title match but that might be a stretch.

I’ll go with McIntyre here, but I can’t shake the feeling that they might try something. Lashley interfering would make some sense, though I’m not sure if that would change what they have already announced. We could be in for a heck of a fight here though and these two have shown some outstanding chemistry together. Let them do their thing and have the match of the night though, because that’s what they could do here.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Daniel Bryan

Now here we have the match where I really hope they do change something around, because this should be Wrestlemania. Bryan has made me believe in him all over again with those awesome promos on Friday and it would be great to see him get the chance to do his thing one more time on the big stage. Unfortunately we are getting Edge instead, and he will be ringside this time as the outside enforcer.

I really want to say that they’ll pull a surprise here (not necessarily a title change, but something that brings Bryan into Wrestlemania) but I don’t think they will. Edge will get involved in the finish and I could go for him trying to spear Jey Uso and hitting Bryan to cost him the title. That’s pure fantasy booking, but Reigns isn’t losing here and he’ll retain the title on his way to Tampa.

Overall Thoughts

The potential is there. This show feels like it could be rather good based on the complete lack of expectations coming into it and that is not a bad thing. There is little reason to care about the show but if the action and storytelling are both there, we could be in for a nice night. Odds are they are going to be in and out quickly as has been the case with most B level pay per views as of late, so for once we can call this cautious optimism.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: March 19, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Fastlane and that means we need to add a few matches to the card. I’m sure you can guess a few of them from here, which may or may not be the best thing. The big match tonight will see Edge wrestle his first singles match on Smackdown in ten years when he faces Jey Uso for the right to be the ringside enforcer for Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns at Fastlane. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair get in an argument backstage about Banks defending against Nia Jax tonight. Somehow this is about Reginald and Belair isn’t happy. This isn’t a good idea and she isn’t coming to save Banks. That’s fine with Sasha, who won’t need her to.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is defending and Shayna Baszler is in Nia’s corner. Baszler offers a quick trip to start but Banks is right back with a kick to the head and stomps in the corner. The double knees in the corner rock Nia again but it’s way too early for the Bank Statement. An elbow sends Banks into the corner and there’s a delayed gorilla press drop for two. Jax runs her over again and there’s a Samoan drop for two more. Cue an annoyed Bianca Belair and we take a break.

Back with Nia dominating and swinging Banks (in a powerbomb position) hard into the corner for two. We hit the chinlock on Banks but Nia misses a sitdown splash. A Meteora to the back of the head gives Banks two but Nia kicks her to the floor. Back in and Banks spins out of a slam into a tornado DDT to set up the Bank Statement. Shayna comes in and, with the referee holding Belair out, accidentally kicks Nia. Banks grabs a rollup for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: C. Not too bad here but it was all about the storytelling instead of the title. I really don’t need to see these four in another Tag Team Title match but as long as they don’t change the titles, everything should be ok. Just get us to Banks vs. Belair without the other two involved and we should be in for a better story once they get to that point.

We look back at the Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns contract signing which of course broke down into a brawl, also including Jey Uso and Daniel Bryan.

Edge is happy to be back in the ring tonight because Smackdown has always felt like home. The best nights of his career took place here but so did the worst, when he had to vacate the World Heavyweight Title. He is back tonight though and feels like Jey Uso could be a top start but he is stuck in Roman Reigns’ shadow. Tonight, Edge is teaching him a lesson.

Here is Seth Rollins for a chat.

Hang on though as we get a clip of Edge teaming with Hulk Hogan to win the Tag Team Titles nineteen years ago.

Nia Jax yells at Shayna Baszler about the loss. Shayna is going to get a match with Bianca Belair tonight and kick her head off.

Now we get back to the ring for Seth’s chat. Seth talks about returning a few weeks ago when all of the wrestlers were at ringside like he was a king. They don’t like him but they respect him, which is what really matters. Then they turned their backs on him because they are idiots, but Cesaro took the most time and stared at Seth, which was rather disrespectful. Rollins knows that it was because Cesaro is jealous of him because Rollins has success while Cesaro is an abject failure.

See, Rollins is a failure instead of a fighter and we see a clip of him laying Cesaro out last week. Rollins remembers Cesaro reaching out for that brass ring and found it great. Cesaro spun him 22 times and will never disrespect him like that again. Cue Shinsuke Nakamura (Rollins: “TALK ABOUT DISRESPECT!”), with Rollins saying Nakamura is more man than Cesaro. Nakamura tells him to shut up and hits a kick to the face. The threat of Kinshasa sends Rollins running. COME ON brings Rollins back in though and now Kinshasa leaves him laying.

Eric Bischoff is confirmed for the Hall of Fame. Much like Molly Holly, he doesn’t get a special video.

Street Profits vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio

For a future Tag Team Title shot with champions Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode on commentary. Ford and Dominik go to the mat to start with Ford getting the better of things. Dawkins comes in to hit the spinning splash on Rey in the corner and it’s back to Ford for a heck of a clothesline on Dominik. Rey breaks up what looked to be a Doomsday Device and Dominik grabs a hurricanrana for the fast pin on Dawkins at 2:52. Dawkins’ eyes bugging out is funny.

Post match here is the Alpha Academy to say the Mysterios shouldn’t be #1 contender, not after they already beat them. For some reason the Academy turns their backs on them and get dropkicked to the floor. A few dives take them out and the Mysterios bail.

Alpha Academy vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

Joined in progress with Rey hitting a 619 on Gable but Otis crotches him on top. Otis comes in to run Rey over again and hit a big boot to make it worse. Rey manages a dropkick into the corner though and the hot tag brings in Dominik to clean house. There’s a hurricanrana to Gable and a sunset flip gets two. Gable cuts off Dominik and nails him with a suplex, setting up Otis’ middle rope splash for the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C. This didn’t have a ton of time to go anywhere and it seems to set up a four way for the titles. Odds are that will be at Fastlane, which would hopefully leave the Street Profits’ solo title shot for Wrestlemania. I’m not wild of A beats B, B beats C and then all of them get a title shot, but it’s not like the tag division is going to get much better of a story.

Classic Edge Moment: cashing in Money in the Bank on Smackdown.

Kevin Owens comes up to Sami Zayn, who asks about Owens joining him again. Owens suggests that Zayn is responsible for his own problems and asks who these THEY are that Sami keeps referencing. Sami has an idea: be ringside tonight for his match against King Corbin and see if anything fishy happens. Owens reluctantly agrees.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat. Bryan recaps tonight’s main event but doesn’t think Roman Reigns should need Jey Uso ringside at Fastlane. Edge on the other hand wants to be there because he wants to face Reigns at Wrestlemania. Well Edge isn’t getting what he wants, because Bryan is making Roman Reigns tap on Sunday.

Cue Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman with Reigns laughing at the idea of Bryan making him tap. Bryan has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying off like a bird than making Reigns tap out. No one has ever made him tap out and he would rather lose an arm than tap out to anyone. Reigns would rather die in that ring than tap out to someone like him.

Bryan says that’s pretty strong and says everyone thinks they are invincible and unbeatable until they aren’t. Everyone thinks they are untapoutable until they tap out. Bryan isn’t just going to make Reigns quit but he’s going to break him. Now Bryan doesn’t want Reigns to die, but he is beating him for the title at Fastlane. This was really good and just makes me wonder why in the world we have to have Edge involved at all. These promos are making him feel wedged in and that isn’t a good feeling going into the biggest night of the year.

We get a promo for Sami Zayn vs. King Corbin, which is called the least interesting match of all time. In the match no one asked for, it is the irritating force vs. the unlikable object. There must be a winner, but thankfully there will be a loser. Well that was funny, but why are they acknowledging that their match is bad?

Sami Zayn vs. King Corbin

Kevin Owens joins commentary. Sami hammers away against the ropes as Graves tries to figure out why this is billed as a terrible idea. Corbin is sent shoulder first into the ropes for two but the referee sees Sami grabbing the ropes. Sami gets caught taking the turnbuckle pad off and it’s the End of Days to give Corbin the pin at 2:03.

Post match Sami asks if Owens saw anything bad but Owens thought it was pretty good officiating and sometimes you just lose. Sami hits the Helluva Kick to leave Owens laying.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Seth Rollins is set for Fastlane.

We look back at Apollo Crews attacking Big E. again last week.

We get a sitdown, split screen interview between Big E. and Apollo Crews. Big E. says Crews wants to talk about reconciliation and singing Kumbaya. Sounding like he is trying not to explode, Big E. advises Crews to enjoy his next two days. Enjoy the crispness of the March air and the use of his limbs because the beating is coming. Crews, with the accent getting even stronger, says Big E. should watch his tone. He talks about a story his grandfather told him about watching what you say, because he is going to win the title Sunday.

Big E. wants to do this now and takes the mic off to go find Crews. He steps onto the baseball field and steals a golf cart, shouting for Crews to come fight him. Big E. finally finds him and the brawl is on with Big E. unloading on him with a trashcan. This was some great emotion from Big E. but Crews’ accent/voice made it feel like a huge joke.

Fastlane rundown, with Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre now No Holds Barred. Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman is listed again after being dropped from the WWE.com preview earlier this week.

Bianca Belair vs. Shayna Baszler

Nia Jax is at ringside and here is Sasha Banks….who walks to the back because Belair has this. Baszler knocks her to the floor to start but Belair is back in with a rollup for two. Cue Tamina and Natalya to jump Belair for the DQ at 1:06.

Post match, Belair gets destroyed. Insert your head shaking and heavy sighing here.

Classic Edge Moment: Edge retires, vacating the World Heavyweight Title in the process.

Edge vs. Jey Uso

The winner is the ringside enforcer for Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan at Fastlane. Bryan is on commentary as Edge shoulders Jey down to start and tries a very early Crossface. Edge tries to wrap the arm around the ropes but Uso gets in a shot to send Edge outside. Jey follows as Edge is favoring his ribs, meaning it’s a whip into the steps. A big dive sends Edge into the announcers’ table and we take a break.

Back with Jey still working on the ribs by sending them into the post a few times. Back up and they both try crossbodies to put them both down again, even though that was a really bad idea from Edge. It’s Edge up first with a middle rope knee to the shoulder for two, much to Bryan’s delight. A super hurricanrana takes Uso down again but the spear is blocked with a shot to the face. The Superfly Splash gets two and Uso is frustrated. Edge sends the arm into the mat and hits the spear for the pin at 12:08.

Rating: C+. Edge looked pretty good in there, which is impressive considering this was his first singles match against someone other than Randy Orton since Wrestlemania XXVII. They had a story going here with the ribs vs. the arm and while the ending wasn’t in doubt, it was nice to see them put in the effort on the way there. Edge didn’t look 46, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him in the main event of Wrestlemania. The new gear, with white boots for a change, did look good though.

Post match Reigns spears Edge and then hits Bryan with one of his own for daring to interfere.

Overall Rating: C. This was the blazing fast build up Fastlane show and while it helped for Sunday, I didn’t really have fun watching tonight. The biggest problem is there wasn’t much in the way of good wrestling, but at least they advanced some stories for Sunday and beyond. Now if only we can get through Fastlane already and focus solely on Wrestlemania, things could get a lot better in a hurry. For now though, just a decent show and nothing more.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio b. Street Profits – Hurricanrana to Dawkins

Alpha Academy b. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio – Middle rope splash to Dominik

King Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days

Bianca Belair b. Shayna Baszler via DQ when Tamina and Natalya interfered

Edge b. Jey Uso – Spear

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: March 5, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s time for a big fight feel as Daniel Bryan vs. Jey Uso is taking place inside a cage. If Bryan wins, he gets the Universal Title shot against Roman Reigns at Fastlane, so I’m not sure how much more they can telegraph what is going on here. I’m curious to see what Bryan can get out of him though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long video on Edge winning the Royal Rumble and picking Roman Reigns for Wrestlemania.

Michael Cole brings out Daniel Bryan for an in-ring chat. Cole recaps tonight’s main event and we see the graphic for the original Fastlane plans: Edge/Bryan vs. Reigns/Uso. Bryan knows that he is the one who will go along with everything and do whatever is asked of him, but that isn’t the case anymore. He wants to go to Wrestlemania, even though WWE wants to have Edge vs. Reigns in a battle of the eras.

Bryan throws us to a package on the Elimination Chamber and the ensuing title match against Reigns (plus Edge attacking Reigns later). Back in the arena, Bryan talks about how he has won three Elimination Chambers so you would think he would be cool with this. That’s not the case though because he felt like a failure because he did not make it to Wrestlemania.

From the floor, he looked up at the Wrestlemania sign and knew that he should be going there instead of Edge. He should be going because he loves this so much. Bryan has wrestled more matches in the last three weeks than Edge and Reigns have wrestled in the last year. Tonight he steps into a steel cage for the chance to go on to Wrestlemania because this could be his last chance. Cue Roman Reigns and company and we take a break.

Back with Reigns talking about how Bryan said he loved wrestling so much. Bryan doesn’t love this though because in reality he needs it. Love is about what you will do for others, not what you need to survive. Reigns does this because everyone needs him and that shows he loves it. The cameraman, Jey, Paul, the fans, they all need him. Tonight, after Jey beats Bryan, he’ll know it too.

Jey takes the mic from Bryan and says tonight, Reigns isn’t locked out because Jey is locked in. Jey goes for a cheap shot but gets knocked down so Bryan can stare at Reigns. Bryan was very emotional here and even stumbled over some words. Normally that sounds bad but here it made things feel more real because he was so fired up about everything.

We look back at Sami Zayn and King Corbin arguing to cost themselves a match against the Street Profits.

Street Profits vs. Sami Zayn/King Corbin

Before the match, Sami talks about how the Profits won a fluke match last week but here’s Corbin to say this isn’t a team. If one of the Profits want a singles match, come get one. The Profits like that but Sami says not so fast because he didn’t agree to a single match. Too bad apparently.

King Corbin vs. Montez Ford

Corbin powers him into the corner to start and whips Ford into another corner for the chest first crash. Ford manages to avoid a shot from Corbin and grabs a spinning DDT. A standing moonsault gets two but Sami offers a distraction, allowing Corbin to hit the End of Days for the pin at 2:40.

Post match Sami says he helped Corbin so Corbin can help him, only to have Dawkins knock him off the apron and into Corbin. That’s too much though and Sami is on his own.

Angelo Dawkins vs. Sami Zayn

Joined in progress with Dawkins sending him into the corner and nailing a dropkick for two. Sami gets in a shot of his own to take over though and a series of near falls has him frustrated. Dawkins is right back with a bulldog for two of his own but an exploder suplex is blocked. A neckbreaker gets two on Sami instead but he runs Dawkins over. Hold on though as Montez Ford spills his drink on the cameras to mess with Sami again. That’s enough to let Dawkins roll him up for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here which was designed to keep the angle going and there is nothing wrong with that. Sami and Corbin as a weird team is good enough and it keeps Corbin from being near the main event scene so I’m rather pleased. That and at least this was something fresh too, which is always welcome.

Reginald runs into Carmella, who accuses him of being a snake. She knocks the bottle out of his hand and he is officially fired. Good. Now get rid of him.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Chad Gable

Dominik starts fast with an armdrag but Gable spins out of a wristlock. A spin into a drop toehold has Dominik in more trouble and it’s time to crank on the leg. Dominik fights up but walks into a tiger suplex for two. Gable misses the moonsault though, allowing Dominik to counter a rollup into la majistral for the pin at 2:59.

Post match Rey dives onto a charging Otis and the Mysterios bail.

Seth Rollins talks about how Cesaro tried to humiliate him last week, which he won’t forget. Murphy comes up and offers his assistance with Cesaro, but Rollins says get out of his sight.

Shayna Baszler vs. Bianca Belair

Nia Jax and Sasha Banks are here too because we’re doing the tag match again at Fastlane. Reginald follows, because that just needs to be a thing still. Belair tries a dropkick but the leg gets caught, allowing Baszler to take over on the arm. Baszler throws her down by the arm and keeps up the cranking so Belair uses the good arm to slam her way to freedom.

A suplex lets Belair nip up but Baszler counters a double chickenwing into a roll to the floor. Reginald offers a distraction though and Baszler kicks Belair in the face….before going down for some reason. Jax shoves Reginald down and clotheslines Banks as well, allowing Baszler to grab the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s reversed into the KOD though and Belair gets the pin at 4:32.

Rating: C-. Reginald needs to fall in a hole and not be found as soon as possible as this story absolutely does not need a one note character who happens to be an acrobat. It seems that Reginald and Carmella are done, so why is he involved in this whole thing? Just drop him already or let him find a story that might actually need him. Just having Belair beat Baszler to build her for the title match is fine enough. Why mess with that?

Reigns tells Jey Uso not to embarrass himself or the family. Jey says he has this.

Murphy vs. Cesaro

Cesaro throws him around to start as Seth Rollins joins commentary. Murphy gets over to the ropes and manages to pull Cesaro to the floor, setting up the big flip dive. Back in and Murphy gets two off a top rope Meteora, only to dive into an uppercut for his efforts. The running uppercuts and a running big boot rock Murphy again, setting up the Swing. Rollins says this is about him and the Sharpshooter makes Murphy tap at 3:10.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one but it worked out well enough for what they were trying to do. Cesaro is on a roll and will likely be facing Rollins at Fastlane, though I’m not sure what that is going to leave for him to do at Wrestlemania. This doesn’t exactly bode well for Murphy, but that has kind of been the case for a long time now so it isn’t that much of a surprise.

Reginald (Roman Reigns isn’t getting this much screen time) is leaving but knocks on Banks’ door. Banks: “NO!” Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax say he reeks of failure, but Jax thinks he’s kind of cute.

Big E. is back next week.

Here is Apollo Crews, carrying a spear and flanked by two guards in camouflage. He now has a rather thick accent (think Black Panther) and says this is how he talks because he is a real African American. These men are the Nigerian Elite Guard who have protected his family’s wealth for a generation.

For years he was made fun of because people thought he was from the jungle. Now Big E. is trying to do it again so he is going to listen to his ancestors telling him to take what is his. Crews wants a rematch for the Intercontinental Title and promises to conquer Big E. This was a step away from Apollo Crews and a step closer to Saba Simba.

Natalya and Tamina want to know why they aren’t in the Women’s Tag Team Title match but are told to get over it.

Daniel Bryan jumps Jey Uso in the back.

It’s time for Ding Dong Hello with Bayley reading some tweets. These are Sweet Tweets though because no one could hate her. She reads the first two about how great she is but the third gets on her nerves and makes her storm off.

Corey Graves is inside the cage to explain the rules, which isn’t something you see very often these….well probably decades actually.

Jey Uso vs. Daniel Bryan

If Bryan wins he gets to challenge Reigns (here with Paul Heyman) for the Universal Title at Fastlane. They slug it out to start until Jey sends him into the cage early on. It’s way too early to get through the door though as Bryan grabs the leg, only to get pummeled in the head for his efforts. It’s time to go up the cage but Jey crotches him down in a hurry. Bryan catches his climb as well and nails a missile dropkick, setting up a running kick to the arm. Jey’s arm is sent hard into the cage and then does it again for a bonus.

Bryan goes up but Jey knocks him into the Tree of Woe and kicks away at the leg. It’s too early for Jey to get out though as Bryan catches him as well, only to have Jey hit a super Samoan drop for the double knockdown as we take a break. Back with the two of them sitting on top of the cage until they get back in and onto the top rope.

Bryan gets knocked down and Jey hits the Superfly Splash for two but it’s too early to escape. An enziguri sends Bryan down and there’s a superkick for two more. Bryan elbows away but Jey knocks him down again, setting up a catapult into the cage. They both climb up again with Bryan getting in a shot to the arm, setting up a butterfly superplex to the mat. The YES Lock goes on and, since the rope break doesn’t count, Jey has to tap at 12:04.

Rating: B-. They beat each other up for a good while here and the arm stuff was set up at the beginning and paid off in the end. That’s how you do a match like this and it makes perfect sense for Bryan to go that way. It wasn’t exactly a surprise as Bryan winning was all but a guarantee, but they had a good match to get there so it worked out rather well.

Bryan poses on the cage as Reigns glares to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all about setting up Fastlane and I think you know where the card is going from here. I’m still not entirely sure that the event is going to mean much in the long run but it’s nice to see WWE focusing on it for a change instead of Wrestlemania every single second. There wasn’t much in the way of top level wrestling here but it did its job, which is the more important thing from a show like this.

Results

King Corbin b. Montez Ford – End of Days

Angelo Dawkins b. Sami Zayn – Rollup

Dominik Mysterio b. Chad Gable – La majistral

Bianca Belair b. Shayna Baszler – KOD

Cesaro b. Murphy – Sharpshooter

Daniel Bryan b. Jey Uso – YES Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: February 26, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We have a big announcement this week as women’s Royal Rumble winner Bianca Belair is going to announce her opponent for Wrestlemania XXXVII. Granted it should be pretty clear who she is going to face, but at least they are going to announce the match so we can start the proper build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Roman Reigns, Jey Uso and Paul Heyman to get things going. After a long look at Reigns beating Daniel Bryan and then being attacked by Edge on Sunday night, Reigns says Smackdown needs him. He’s so good at everything that it has to be perfect, but there is one person standing in his way. That’s the guy who jumped him on Sunday and then pointed at the Wrestlemania sign. Edge has a beautiful family and is a father and husband. Reigns respects the comeback and everything Edge is about but he doesn’t want to hurt him.

Cue Daniel Bryan to say that absolutely Sunday was perfect for Reigns. Why wouldn’t it have been? All Reigns had to do was face Bryan just after the Elimination Chamber. That doesn’t sound like a Head of the Table spot to Bryan, who thinks Reigns should have been in the main event slot. Reigns can silence the comparisons, and there have been a lot of them, by defending the title against him at Fastlane, with no conditions. Uso doesn’t want to hear that because Bryan goes to the back of the line. Bryan asks again but Jey jumps him and the trio leaves. Everything here made sense.

Edge comes in to see Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville about Bryan possibly getting a title shot first. Post break, Pearce tries to calm Edge down and says tonight it’s Bryan vs. Uso, with Bryan getting the Fastlane title match if he wins.

Alpha Academy vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio

Rematch from last week when Otis turned to the dark side and crushed Rey’s ribs. Otis starts fast by throwing Rey into the corner and hitting a shoulder to the ribs. Rey gets away and brings in Dominick to pick up the pace against Gable. A headscissors sends Gable into the corner and a middle rope diving tornado DDT gets two. Everything breaks down and a double 619 hits Gable and Rey hits the top rope splash. Otis breaks up the cover and it’s a World’s Strongest Slam into the middle rope splash to pin Rey at 3:39.

Rating: C-. I can go for these two doing something and again, it’s kind of amazing how nicely Otis is sliding into this role. Gable not so much because he was great for years and was just stuck with a horrible character, but Otis is a rather nice surprise. It’s going well enough and that splash looks good.

We look back at Apollo Crews destroying Big E. last week to put him on the shelf.

Here’s Apollo Crews for a chat. Some people have not been happy with what he did but this is who he is. He is a real African American because he is from Nigeria. Crews comes from a lineage of Nigerian royalty and he wears the country’s colors with pride and power. That’s what Big E. learned last week when he was taught a lesson from his grandfather about showing power. Last week, Crews showed Big E. the steel and tonight, Shinsuke Nakamura will see the same thing.

Apollo Crews vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Crews jumps him before the bell and we take a break. We come back joined in progress with Crews whipping Nakamura hard into the corner and running him over. Crews’ release German suplex is countered though and Nakamura kicks away at the chest. The sliding knee gives Nakamura two and there’s the sliding German suplex for the same. Crews heads to the floor and manages to sucker Nakamura in for a whip into the steps. Back in and Nakamura grabs a sleeper but gets sent into the buckle. An Angle Slam finishes for Crews at 4:37.

Rating: C. That’s the best Crews has looked in a long time, if not ever (the new tights helped a lot), and that is a good sign. I was a bit worried about Crews’ promo but it went in a fine direction and this could work out well for him. Big E. vs. Crews should be a heck of a fight when we get there and this was a good way to debut Crews’ new side.

Paul Heyman tells Roman Reigns about the Bryan vs. Uso match with the Fastlane implications. The “IF Bryan wins” part is emphasized.

Tamina vs. Liv Morgan

Natalya and Ruby Riott are here too as Tamina runs Liv over to start. Morgan gets sent into the corner as we hear about Natalya and Tamina’s history and legacy in wrestling. Tamina even has a catchphrase: “From reliable to undeniable.” I’d like to point out how many people Smackdown has sitting on the sidelines while TAMINA AND NATALYA are getting regular TV time. Morgan gets knocked down again but does manage an enziguri. A middle rope dropkick knocks Tamina down but she’s right back with the Samoan drop. The swinging Rock Bottom (which was more laying her down than a slam) finishes Morgan at 3:57.

Rating: D. There’s something about Tamina that just takes the life out of any match. That problem was on full display here as there is no reason to be interested in anything she or Natalya are doing. They’ve both been around for so long and having them as a ticked off team isn’t going to get people interested. Well maybe in what is on another channel, but not in the two of them.

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are in the ring for Bianca Belair’s pick. We see a video on Asuka and another on Sasha Banks and now Belair is ready to make her pick. Well actually she’s ready to talk about making choices….but here is Reginald to interrupt. He wants her to know what a loser she will be if she picks Sasha, who is here to interrupt as well. She tells Reginald to never speak for her and tells Belair that if she wants to make a statement, her choice is clear. Banks is the best, which makes Belair second best. Belair makes the pick and the match is set. At least they didn’t drag it out, but drop Reginald already.

Sami Zayn’s film crew gets some shots of King Corbin before their tag match tonight. Corbin doesn’t like the attention but Sami thinks they could be the new Can-Am Connection. I don’t think Corbin is convinced.

Sami Zayn/King Corbin vs. Street Profits

Corbin starts with Dawkins as Sami yells at the documentary crew. Dawkins gets punched down and sent into the corner but the crew is in the way of Corbin as he tries to slide underneath the bottom rope. That lets Ford dropkick him down and we take a break. Back with Ford in trouble as Corbin knees him into the corner. Ford fights over and brings in Dawkins to clean house. Corbin is knocked outside where the crew keeps filming him, much to Corbin’s annoyance. Ford hits the big flip dive and it’s a double underhook swinging neckbreaker to Sami. The frog splash finishes for Ford at 8:07.

Rating: C-. This was more about the antics with the film crew but it worked out well enough. I’m guessing we’re going to be getting more with Zayn/Corbin, which isn’t the worst idea in the world. Hopefully it gives us some more entertaining stuff like Corbin getting annoyed at the film crew and keeps Corbin from sniffing the main event scene because no one needs to see that.

Daniel Bryan is ready to move on to Wrestlemania but here’s Edge to seem not so happy about the idea. If they were to meet at Wrestlemania, who wins that match? Bryan won’t answer, but he seems to like the possibility.

Here’s Seth Rollins to talk about the letter he sent to WWE last week….and here’s Cesaro to cut him off. Rollins cuts him off and praises Cesaro’s greatness, saying he has always been one of the best around. For some reason though, there has always been something missing. Why hasn’t Cesaro ever been the Universal Champion?

Rollins says he is missing that killer instinct and Rollins can teach him. Take a week or two to think about it and come back with a good answer. Cesaro grabs the legs (Rollins: “NO! PUT ME DOWN!”) and swings him (out of his jacket), followed by a second for a bonus. The uppercut leaves Rollins laying.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jey Uso

If Bryan wins, he gets Reigns for the title at Fastlane. Bryan works on the wrist to start and moonsaults over Jey (with a quick touch to his banged up knee), setting up the running clothesline. A top rope hurricanrana gives Bryan two and Jey is sent outside, where he knocks a dive out of the air. The bad knee is dropped onto the announcers’ table and then sent into the post as we take a break. Back with Uso still working on the knee before hitting a Samoan drop.

The Superfly Splash misses though and Bryan knocks him to the floor, setting up the running knee off the apron. Back in and Bryan comes off the top but bangs up the knee again, allowing Jey to kick it out. The half crab goes on but Bryan slips out and tries the running knee, only to get chop blocked down. A butterfly superplex brings Jey off the top though and the threat of the YES Lock sends him over to the rope. They roll outside to keep up the brawl with Bryan’s knee going into the steps, setting up the double countout at 12:47.

Rating: B-. The ending was a surprise and that’s a good thing. They have a few different ways to go for Fastlane now and the combination of possibilities have me rubbing my chin. I can’t imagine Bryan doesn’t get a straight shot at Reigns, but now they are going to have to go in a different direction to get there, which is not a bad thing.

Post match Bryan gets the YES Lock on Uso but Roman Reigns makes the save. Uso has to save Roman from the YES Lock and it’s a spear to Bryan. The guillotine choke knocks Bryan cold to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show dragged a bit in the middle but aside from the book ends, I love that they move from story to story pretty fast. You have two hours of Smackdown a week and it’s nice to see them using it to get a lot of things over. You don’t have five segments or interviews from one story and it makes the show move around that much more smoothly. The show might not be that much better than some others, but it’s a lot easier to watch and that’s more important.

Results

Alpha Academy b. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio – Middle rope splash to Rey

Apollo Crews b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Angle Slam

Tamina b. Liv Morgan – Spinning Rock Bottom

Street Profits b. Sami Zayn/King Corbin – Frog splash to Zayn

Daniel Bryan vs. Jey Uso went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: February 12, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re less than two weeks away from Elimination Chamber but you might not realize it around here. There has not been a single Smackdown match announced for the show but that might be changing this week. Roman Reigns apparently has a big announcement and that could be a good thing. Seth Rollins is back too so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Roman Reigns, Jey Uso and Paul Heyman for a chat with Adam Pearce, who is already in the ring. Reigns tells Pearce that he isn’t waiting on him so let’s get on with this. Pearce doesn’t call any shots around here and Reigns isn’t waiting on Pearce or Edge. Reigns knows that Edge hasn’t announced his Wrestlemania match because he knows Reigns will beat him all the way onto a Legends contract.

No one is taking the title from him so Edge is holding out hope that someone pulls a miracle before Wrestlemania. Speaking of contracts, Pearce has one in his hand and that is for Reigns’ title defense inside the Elimination Chamber. Reigns hands Heyman the mic, who says Reigns’ contract says he has to defend the title AT Elimination Chamber rather than INSIDE the Elimination Chamber. Instead, the winner can receive a title shot on the against Reigns, who won’t be in the Chamber itself.

Pearce seems to laugh it off but Heyman asks what he’s going to do about it. Fire Reigns this close to Wrestlemania? Last year’s show didn’t have Reigns and it was the lowest attended Wrestlemania of all time. Pearce says it’s time to start the qualifying process, and there are going to be two names who don’t need qualifying matches. Those would be Jey Uso and Kevin Owens, the latter of whom has Reigns outside the ring and in Pearce’s face. Reigns doesn’t think Pearce gets this but Heyman says it’s going to be on Reigns’ time.

Post break Pearce is freaking out over having to get all of the qualifying matches together but Sonya Deville has an idea: a tag team qualifying match with the winning team both getting into the Chamber. Pearce likes the idea, which is good because Sonya has already booked it.

Commentary confirms that the winner of the Chamber match will face Reigns that night.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. King Corbin/Sami Zayn

Before the match, Sami talks about how he and Corbin don’t get along but tonight they’re working together so WWE can’t give the Mysterios the spots in the Chamber. Rey and Dominik start fast by sending them to the floor for the double dives and we take a break. Back with Dominik rolling Sami into the corner and hitting a running elbow. Sami is right back with the Blue Thunder Bomb for two and it’s off to Corbin. Everything breaks down and the double 619 hits Corbin, with Rey taking him to the floor. That leaves Dominik to be suplexed into the corner, setting up the Helluva Kick for the pin at 7:33.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure how much drama there was to this one and that’s ok. The Mysterios continue to have problems and a showdown at Wrestlemania wouldn’t surprise me. Zayn and Corbin inside the Chamber should work out wee as they’re the perfect kind of midcarders who could beef things up a little bit.

Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode come in to see Deville and Pearce. They want in the Elimination Chamber, and are even willing to be in different pods. Sonya gives them a chance, in another tag team qualifying match, against Cesaro and Daniel Bryan.

We look back at Bianca Belair talking to Sasha Banks last week when Carmella and Reginald interfered, earning Reginald a whipping.

Reginald brings Sasha Banks some wine but Banks isn’t buying it. She takes the drink anyway and keeps talking to Kalisto.

Here’s Big E. for a chat. He is going to be a fighting champion and, after a Gorilla Glue reference, he mentions being past the Apollo Crews chapter….and here’s Crews to interrupt. Crews accepts the challenge, but Big E. was going to issue the challenge to anyone here except Crews you see. Big E. was looking forward to Michael Cole accepting the challenge but Crews implies Big E. is scared. Big E. lowers the mic and says he has beaten Crews time after time so go back to catering and get your paycheck. Crews gets in his face and a lot of arguing ensues, with Big E. saying they’re done so bring out the next challenger.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and Big E. powers him around to start. That earns him some kicks down and the champ is in some trouble. It’s already time for the Kinshasa but Big E. pulls him into the Big Ending. That’s broken up and Nakamura kicks him in the back of the head. Another Kinshasa is loaded up but Crews runs in to dropkick Big E. for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C-. No time for much here as we continue to build towards Crews’ final showdown, likely at Elimination Chamber. That should work out well as Crews at least has a bit more of a background after that US Title reign. I liked how serious Big E. got, but saying Crews can’t have a match isn’t the most heroic thing to do. I don’t think there’s a turn coming or anything, but it didn’t quite feel right.

Video on Seth Rollins.

The locker room comes to the ring for Rollins’ return. After a break here’s Rollins, with BURN IT DOWN again. He’s still in the suit with the one glove though so I’m getting mixed messages here. Rollins is glad to be back and knows that things have changed since he sacrificed himself at Survivor Series. The thing that has changed the most though is him though, because he has become a parent for the first time. He is now the father of a beautiful, perfect baby girl, who has changed his life in ways he never dreamed of.

Rollins sees the talent around here and he wonders where he fits in. Now he knows where that is: Rollins is the great leader that Smackdown needs to push it into the future. Leadership isn’t about what they can do for him but what he can do for them. Everyone walks out as Rollins talks about being a leader and a mentor. Rollins says all you have to do for a better Smackdown is embrace the vision. The lights come back up and he realizes that only Cesaro is left at ringside. Then Cesaro shakes his head and leaves as well, only to have Rollins run to the floor and chop block him. The beatdown is on until referees break it up.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Bayley vs. Liv Morgan

Ruby Riott is here with Morgan, who starts fast and hammers away. Bayley misses a clothesline and Morgan hits a middle rope dropkick to the floor, meaning it’s time for a trip to the floor. A dive off the steps takes a bit too long for Morgan and Bayley sends her hard into the barricade instead. Back in and Bayley hits a shoulder breaker to rock Morgan but it’s an enziguri to give Morgan two. Cue Billie Kay to offer Riott her resume, which Riott throws away. The referee gets rid of them though and it’s the Rose Plant to finish Morgan at 3:45.

Rating: D+. The story continues and that’s one of the things I really wish WWE would stop. Bayley beat one half of the Riott Squad thanks to Billie messing up last week and now she did it to the other half this week. It was no secret that they were going in this direction after last week and that’s because WWE is pretty repetitive. That’s not good and it wasn’t even much of a match in the first place.

The Street Profits were at Daytona Motor Speedway this week.

Street Profits vs. Otis/Chad Gable

During the entrances, the Profits say they want the titles back and Otis/Gable train for the smoke. Gable takes Dawkins to the mat to start but Dawkins manages to reverse. They send each other into opposite corners for a standoff so Ford comes in instead. An armdrag into an armbar has Ford flailing around but it’s back to Dawkins to take Gable down. That doesn’t last long as Otis gets the tag and starts to throw Profits around. Ford low bridges Otis to the floor to break up a clothesline though and it’s the Cash Out to finish Gable at 4:50.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty snappy match and that was a nice surprise. Gable and Otis work well together and I could go for seeing them develop a bit more in the future. The Profits continue to be great and you know the rematch for the titles has to be coming sooner rather than later. Everyone was working here though and the pretty short amount of time flew by.

Here’s Sasha Banks to talk about Wrestlemania. She has been dealing with Bianca Belair, who is like a little sister. Cue Belair to say Banks isn’t the boss of her. Those are fighting words so here are Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler to interrupt. Jax can’t believe how big their egos are and asks Shayna if she cares about Belair’s pick. Belair shows us the MY HOLE clip from Raw so the brawl is on. Baszler is knocked down so Jax is tripped onto the apron, meaning she has to stop herself from shouting about….well you get the idea. Belair and Banks take out Baszler as well and the two stand tall.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Bobby Roode/Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan/Cesaro

Non-title. Ziggler takes Bryan down for an early two but Cesaro comes in for a double slam. It’s off to Roode, who has to avoid the YES Lock, and gets sent outside. Cesaro is right there and is whipped into the steps. Sami Zayn and King Corbin come out to watch and we take a break.

Back with Bryan in trouble as Roode snaps off a suplex for two and hands it back to Ziggler. Bryan takes Ziggler down but Roode decks Cesaro, allowing Bryan to grab a rollup for two. Roode’s spinebuster gets two more on Bryan but Ziggler misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Cesaro. Everything breaks down and Bryan hits Roode with the running knee. The Fameasser gets two on Cesaro but he’s right back up with the Swing into the Sharpshooter to make Ziggler tap at 11:04.

Rating: C+. Another good match between talented teams, even if the Tag Team Titles get their annual smack in the face for the sake of some qualifying matches. In this case I’m not sure who else could have taken the loss, but I would have preferred it not to be the champs. Bryan and Cesaro winning was mostly but not entirely obvious and that’s a nice feeling.

Post match Jey Uso, Sami Zayn and King Corbin all come in for the brawl. Everyone goes at it until Kevin Owens runs in for the Stunnerfest. Roman Reigns watches from the back as Owens sits down, saying that he’s coming for Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show worked well for me for one reason: those tag team qualifying matches. Both of them were pretty good, but the real reason they were nice to see was they were different. Instead of the usual four singles matches, they actually threw in something fresh for a change and that’s nice to see. Not so much the idea was brilliant, but it was a change from the norm and I can absolutely go for that over the same old stuff that they do all the time. The rest of the show was fine enough, but I like that they’re actually taking some different paths week to week.

Results

Sami Zayn/King Corbin b. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio – Helluva Kick to Dominik

Big E. b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Apollo Crews interfered

Bayley b. Liv Morgan – Rose Plant

Street Profits b. Chad Gable/Otis – Cash Out to Gable

Cesaro/Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Sharpshooter to Ziggler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2019
Date: January 27, 2019
Location: Chase Field, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 48,193
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s time to go back to the stadium with another major show. The Royal Rumble has changed a good bit in recent years as it is now another extended show with a pair of Royal Rumble matches instead of just one. No one is exactly jumping off the page as a favorite in either of them, though Becky Lynch is currently the most popular person in the company. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Non-title but if Dawson and Rezar (regular partners injured) win, the regular teams get a title shot each. And yes, this match was completely necessary as a last minute addition. The match is so awesome that a cameraman falls down during Roode and Gable’s entrance for the always fun camera shot. Drake Maverick is with Dawson and Rezar. Dawson’s headlock on Roode doesn’t get very far as Roode takes him into the corner for a monkey flip from Gable. Wilder wouldn’t have let that happen.

An exchange of near falls doesn’t go very far so Gable hits a springboard spinning crossbody for two. Dawson takes him down though and catapults Gable into a chokeslam to put the champs in trouble. Rezar chokes on the rope and Dawson grabs a northern lights suplex for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as it’s back to Rezar to keep knocking Gable around.

Dawson sends him into the ropes but they bang heads for a double knockdown. Rezar comes back in and tries another chokeslam but Gable reverses into an armbar over the ropes. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Roode, who hits a spinebuster on Dawson. Back up and Dawson dropkicks Rezar by mistake, leaving Roode to take a neckbreaker/moonsault combination for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This would be a textbook definition of a match that did not need to be added to the show and did nothing more than fill in time. As usual, that’s not a good idea and yet it keeps happening around here almost every show. I’m not sure how much of a point there was to having the makeshift tag team thrown out there to lose when Akam wasn’t going to be back for months. Nothing good here and a match that didn’t need to happen.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Nakamura is challenging and Lana is here with Rusev. Nakamura gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs and a suplex brings him right back out. They head outside but Nakamura gets in a running kick to the face off the steps, setting up the running knee to the jaw. Back in and Bad Vibrations into the running knee to the ribs gets two and we hit the front facelock. Rusev fights up and punches away, setting up the spinwheel kick for two.

Rating: C-. Just a little better than the opener but not all that much. Nakamura taking the title from Rusev just over a month into the title reign doesn’t exactly mean much, but that’s the case with so many of the midcard title changes around here. The match was a watchable enough power exchange but it still feels like a title change for the sake of a title change.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Hideo Itami vs. Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is defending, one fall to a finish, and Ariya Daivari is here with Itami. They circle each other for a bit until Itami rolls to the floor. That leaves the other three to trade rollups for two each until Murphy hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to drop Tozawa. Kalisto’s very springboardy hurricanrana is broken up as everything breaks down again. Kalisto tries a Cannonball off the apron but gets caught in Murphy’s suplex instead.

Itami gets back in and poses, meaning it’s time for the showdown with Murphy. The champ gets struck down in the corner and Itami demands respect as we can see his future going down the drain in a hurry. Murphy goes outside and tries to powerbomb Kalisto into the barricade, only to have Tozawa hit a suicide dive into Kalisto, which sends Murphy into the barricade for a crash. Itami throws Kalisto and Tozawa back inside so he can get two on each of them.

A Murphy distraction lets Kalisto kick Itami in the head and it’s a monkey flip to send Tozawa onto Murphy on the floor. Murphy comes back in and gets missile dropkicked by Tozawa, only to have Itami break up the top rope backsplash. Itami gets knocked to the outside though and Tozawa hits a suicide headbutt. Kalisto and Murphy follow with dives of their own with the champ getting the best of it.

Back in and Kalisto hits a hurricanrana driver for two on Murphy, who is right back up with a Liger Bomb for his own near fall. Tozawa scores with a reverse hurricanrana on Murphy but it’s Itami breaking that up. The Salida Del Sol gets two on Itami and everyone is down. A series of kicks puts everyone down again for a bit so Murphy knees Kalisto and Tozawa. Murphy slips out of whatever Itami’s spinning knee deal was (I STILL don’t get that one) and knees him down as well, setting up Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:06.

Rating: B-. Now that’s more like it with an action packed twelve minute match that actually felt like it mattered for a change. Or at least it felt like a match that had been set up more than thirty seconds before they came to the ring. Murphy continues to look like a star and it’s easy to see why he’s a much bigger deal just a year later.

The opening video looks at how important the Rumble is, with some great historical footage included. It has more history than any show not named Wrestlemania so it’s a smart move to go into that well. This switches into your regular opening video, which does its usual good job at looking at the rest of the card.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

Asuka is defending after taking the title from Becky in a TLC match at TLC, with Charlotte being included as well. Becky is on fire at this point and it’s a matter of time before she gets the big hero moment. They go with the aggressive lockup to start and that goes absolutely nowhere. Becky’s running shoulder earns her a running dropkick and a lot of shouting from the champ. Neither of them can get the arm so Asuka kicks her in the leg for two instead.

Becky is right back up with shots to the face and a kick to the ribs, followed by a running clothesline to sent Asuka to the floor. They switches places and you just don’t do that to Asuka, who scores with the running hip attack. Asuka heads outside as well and gets sent into the apron, only to send Becky into the post. The Bexploder sends Asuka into the barricade though and Becky is starting to seethe.

That means the aggressive stomping in the corner and the next of what is likely to be a bunch of armbars. That’s broken up so Becky avoids another hip attack and hammers away in the ropes. Asuka isn’t about to get beaten up though and pulls Becky into the Asuka Lock while still in the ropes. With that broken up, Becky fights out of the corner and grabs a Disarm-Her in the corner. That doesn’t last long either so Asuka knees her out of the air. Asuka strikes away but misses a missile dropkick so Becky can hit a Rock Bottom for two.

Back up again and they fight to the apron with Asuka hitting a fisherman’s neckbreaker to the floor and they’re both down. Asuka is in first and Becky beats the count, earning herself a basement dropkick to the head. They slug it out until Asuka kicks her head off for two. Asuka goes up so Becky stops her with a kick of her own and a super Bexploder gets a rather near fall as the crowd is staying right with them.

The middle rope legdrop misses though and Asuka catches her in a Disarm-Her. To keep up the same line of thinking, Becky gets her own Asuka Lock before switching to the Disarm-Her. Becky is too weak to get it on in full so Asuka rolls out and grabs the Asuka Lock and flips forward Cattle Mutilation style for the tag at 17:09.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and that finisher was the mega death version of the Asuka Lock. It’s really weird to see Becky lose though and it was even more surprising watching this live as Becky was the hottest thing around. Having her tap is a bit much, but sweet goodness would they get mileage out of that loss. The counters and different styles were awesome here though and it’s a near instant classic.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Shane McMahon/The Miz vs. The Bar

The Bar is defending and Miz’s dad is in the front row. Miz and Shane are together because of the Best In The World tournament but Shane has agreed to be nice to him so they can succeed together. In other words, expect the Shane Show to continue. Shane spears Sheamus down at the bell and it’s time for an early breather. Miz comes in to roll Cesaro up for two but it’s way too early for the Skull Crushing Finale.

Sheamus grabs Miz from behind to hold him in the corner though and Cesaro scores with the running uppercut. A right hand knocks Shane to the floor so Miz kicks away to avenge his fallen partner. They all head outside with Miz having to be saved from a double powerbomb through the announcers’ table. It’s too early for the big elbow through the table so Shane hits a top rope clothesline on Sheamus instead.

Shane gets sent hard into the barricade and that should let him stay down and use up all the oxygen in the first three rows. Back in and Sheamus drops a knee on Miz before cranking on the arm. The ten forearms to the chest and a double suplex back in get two as Shane is back up onto the apron. Cesaro drops a middle rope ax handle for two and Sheamus comes back in to talk more trash.

Miz sends Sheamus to the floor though and a backdrop puts Cesaro down as well. That’s finally enough for the hot tag to Shane and it’s bad punches a go-go. A DDT gets two on Sheamus and Shane loads up Coast To Coast to both of them at once. Cesaro pulls him out of the air and into the Swing though and it’s a rather long one this time.

Since it was just a really long Swing, Shane is right back with a triangle choke. Sheamus makes a save and it’s the spike White Noise for two, with no one making the save. Well you knew he was going to kick out of at least one finisher. Miz is back in to save Shane from the Brogue Kick, which hits Cesaro by mistake. The shooting star press finishes Cesaro for the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C. It’s every complaint about a Shane match that you could find: he’s pushed too hard, he looks ready to explode from hyperventilating after about eighteen seconds and he kicks out of a big finisher. Oh and now he’s a champion, naturally getting the pin in the process. It had already gotten bad and it was only going to get worse from here.

Shane and Miz celebrate with Papa Mizanin as the announcers get to praise Shane a bit.

Cole announces the attendance and Meltzer has a correction out immediately.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks. Rousey wants to see Banks get fired up and is ready to show us the difference between a Boss and a champion. Sasha promised to prove how good she was and made Natalya tap in a tag match on Monday. Graves: “It’s one thing to make Natalya submit.” Nice little unintentional insult there.

Sasha isn’t concerned about keeping her emotions in check. Tonight, she’s proving that she’s the best in the world.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Rousey is defending and goes straight for the armbar but Banks armdrags her right back down. A springboard armdrag doesn’t work that well and Rousey mocks Banks’ pose. Rousey tries her own Three Amigos but Banks blocks the third, only to have to go to the ropes to avoid an armbar. A kick to the ribs puts Banks on the floor but Rousey punches the post by mistake.

That lets Banks hit a suicide dive to put Rousey down for a change. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Banks hits the running knees in the corner instead. Back up and Rousey hits a running elbow to the face for two so Banks hits a running knee of her own for the same. Rousey shrugs it off and loads up Piper’s Pit but gets reversed into a nasty armbar, complete with some finger bending.

Banks switches over into the Bank Statement but it’s broken up in a hurry. Now Piper’s Pit can connect and Rousey armbars her over the ropes. Rousey goes up but gets superplexed right back down so Banks can go back to the armbar. You don’t do that to Rousey, who rolls Banks over with some judo throws. They go outside with Rousey grabbing the armbar in full to make Banks tap.

Back in and Rousey hammers away in the corner but Banks gets in a shot of her own for the double knockdown. The armbar is broken up again and another Piper’s Pit is countered into a crossbody. The Bank Statement goes on until Banks switches to a Fujiwara armbar. Rousey rolls out and gutwrench suplexes the heck out of her, setting up another Piper’s Pit for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: B. This took time to get going but they were rolling at the end. Rousey was such a freak of nature as she probably hadn’t had 25 matches by this point (certainly not 10 big ones) and was going back and forth with one of the best around on the big stage. The battle of the submissions attempts worked well here and I got way into this all over again.

Post match they do a left handed handshake since Banks’ arm is wrecked. Banks does hold up the Horsewomen sign though because she isn’t the nicest loser in the world.

We recap the Kickoff Show. We’re so lucky.

John Cena has been injured and won’t be participating in the Royal Rumble. He was totally and really here and everything though. Honest. Braun Strowman is replacing him.

Beth Phoenix joins commentary.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Lacey Evans (making her main roster in-ring debut, save for a random Main Event match) is in at #1, meaning she needs to introduce herself. Natalya is in at #2 and Lacey runs the ropes to start. Neither can hit a dropkick and Lacey can’t quite do a nip up. A clothesline can’t get rid of Natalya and she reverses a powerbomb with a hurricanrana. Natalya hits the discus lariat as Mandy Rose is in at #3, sending Graves over the edge all over again.

Another discus lariat drops Mandy and it’s the double Sharpshooter, which Graves says is like the even more stuffed Oreos. Liv Morgan is in at #4 and is out in less than ten seconds. Lacey and Mandy start double teaming Natalya but Lacey sends Mandy into the corner for the double Bronco Buster. Mickie James is in at #5, giving us the first non-blonde. House is cleaned in a hurry until Mickie has to save herself from being tossed by Mandy. Ember Moon is in at #6 and gets to clean house as well. No one can eliminate anyone else and it’s Billie Kay in at #7.

She’s fine with staying on the floor though, saying she’s going to wait for Peyton Royce to go in. More non-eliminations continue and it’s Nikki Cross in at #8 (Graves: “Batten down the hatches.” I really need to find out what hatches are and what it means to batten something.). She runs over Billie at ringside and then dives onto everyone else inside. Mandy and Nikki have a weird showdown with Nikki getting the better of it. Billie is inside now and get beaten up as well because she isn’t great on her own. Peyton Royce is in at #9 and it’s IIconics time. The team beats down Nikki and it’s time to fight on the ropes some more.

Tamina is in at #10, giving us Lacey, Natalya, Mandy, Mickie, Ember, Billie, Nikki Peyton and Tamina, meaning the ring is too full. Tamina gets to wreck people until Nikki gets to have another not that interesting staredown. A dropkick and tackle put Tamina through the ropes but she’s right back in with a kick to Nikki’s face. Mickie low bridges Tamina to the apron but she comes back in with the Superfly Splash to Nikki. A superkick gets rid of Mickie and it’s Xia Li in at #11.

Li kicks away at a lot of people but gets knocked down by Tamina. Sarah Logan, in Braveheart paint, is in at #12 as the ring is full and the crowd is dead. Ember has to hang on by her feet but pulls herself back in (finally a reaction) and the IIconics get rid of Cross. Charlotte is in at #13 and PLEASE get rid of some people. She gets jumped on the way in but everyone is fought off in a hurry. Lacey eliminates both IIconics at once and Charlotte kicks Li out to finally clear the ring a bit. Charlotte and Tamina have a staredown (NO ONE CARES ABOUT TAMINA!!!) and Charlotte gets rocked by a superkick.

Kairi Sane is in at #14 and she runs to the ring while looking through a telescope because of course she does. Charlotte gets rid of Tamina as Sane dives in. Charlotte chops Sane down but she’s right back up with the Insane Elbow to Logan. That’s enough to get rid of Sarah and it’s Maria Kanellis in at #15. She breaks up a staredown between Charlotte and Lacey, including a double bulldog. Charlotte is back up with a spear to Maria, who apparently doesn’t belong in this ring.

Naomi is in at #16 and that wakes the crowd up a bit. Mandy sends Naomi to the apron but gets backdropped out, only to pull Naomi to the floor. The feet don’t touch so Naomi backflips onto the barricade, tightrope walks across, and does a crazy athletic jump from the barricade to the steps. And then Mandy pulls her off the steps for the elimination anyway in a great heel move. Charlotte kicks Lacey out and it’s Candice LeRae in at #17. Candice Black Widows Ember but it’s broken up in a hurry.

Natalya powerbombs Charlotte out of the corner and it’s Alicia Fox in at #18 (I had almost forgotten about her.). Maria wants to be friends with Alicia so they beat up Sane. Alicia puts her captain’s hat on Maria before stopping to dance. Maria throws it on the ground and stomps on it….sending Alicia into a fit. She’s back up to eliminate Maria though as Kacy Catanzaro is in at #19 and starts with the hurricanranas. A slingshot version puts Alicia on the apron but she skins the cat to come back in.

Zelina Vega is in at #20, giving us Natalya, Moon, Charlotte, Sane, Candice, Alicia, Catanzaro and Vega. Candice and Vega slug it out as fallout from Andrade vs. Johnny Gargano but they slow down, meaning it’s yet another lull. Ruby Riott is in at #21 and has Logan and Morgan with her so all three pull Charlotte to the floor for some triple teaming. Fox gets the same treatment and Vega rolls to the floor to hide underneath the ring.

Riott throws Fox back inside and then eliminates her, followed by a powerbomb into the barricade for LeRae and another elimination. Dana Brooke is in at #22 and hits a weird looking sitout powerbomb on Catanzaro. Now the Squad pulls Brooke to the floor (I really can’t stand this whole people being on the floor but not eliminated deal as it makes things more confusing than they need to be) and Riott eliminates Sane. Io Shirai is in at #23 and dropkicks the Squad down, setting up the big moonsault to the floor (she was never in so it’s not an elimination).

Shirai and Riott go over the top to the apron for a slugout but they both get back in. Rhea Ripley is in at #24 but the star power hasn’t started for her just yet. She wrecks things a bit until Moon takes her down with a wheelbarrow faceplant. Brooke kicks Catanzaro to the floor but she holds her legs up, hand walks to the post, flips up to it and climbs back in to blow away Naomi’s save. Ripley blocks Catanzaro’s spinning DDT though and tosses her out for real.

Sonya Deville is in at #25 and spears Moon down but Brooke hits her with a shoulder. Brooke enziguris Ripley but gets sent to the apron and dropkicked out. Vega leans from under the ring to laugh at Brooke….and here’s freaking Hornswoggle to chase Vega back inside. That doesn’t last long as Ripley throws her out, with Hornswoggle chasing Vega to the back. Alexa Bliss is in at #26 to a MAJOR pop in her first match since September. The moonsault knees to the ribs hit Moon but Sonya pounds Bliss down in the corner. Bliss is right back by sending her to the apron though and a right hand gets rid of Sonya.

Bayley is in at lucky #27 and gets her own house cleaning segment, including a clothesline to get rid of Riott. That’s not all though as she knocks Ripley out as well as Lana is in at #28. Well not in really as she can barely walk due to her ankle injury from earlier. The trainer comes out to check on her in the aisle as Shirai saves herself from an elimination. Lana is still being checked on as Nia Jax is in at #29, only to jump Lana in the aisle for a bonus.

Fit Finlay comes out to tell her to go to the ring and it’s time for the giant to wreck some people. Shirai makes the mistake of trying a moonsault and gets knocked out in a hurry. Natalya somehow gets Jax up for a fireman’s carry but can’t do anything else with it and gets eliminated after 56 minutes. Carmella is in at #30 (an honor she won in Mixed Match Challenge), giving us a final group of Moon, Charlotte, Bliss, Bayley, Lana, Jax and Carmella, though Lana hasn’t gotten anywhere near the ring.

Carmella gets in a dropkick on Moon but Jax runs her over. Hold on though as Lana is still down so here’s Becky Lynch to say she wants the spot instead. Finlay says do it and the fans are WAY into this again. Becky gets the long awaited showdown with Jax but Charlotte breaks it up and sends Becky to the apron. That doesn’t work either and it’s Becky coming back in with a missile dropkick to Jax. Bliss goes after Moon and pulls her to the apron by the hair (freaking ow man) and then chokeshoves her out after a rather ridiculous 53 minutes.

Carmella hits a Bronco Buster on Bliss and there’s a Buckle Bomb from Bayley. Carmella and Bayley team up to throw Bliss out so Jax clotheslines them both. Charlotte saves Becky from Jax’s facebreaker so Carmella gives Becky a Downward Spiral instead. For some reason Charlotte goes up top so Carmella tries a running headscissors, only to get sent to the apron.

That lasts all of two seconds but Charlotte puts her out there again and a big boot gets us down to four (Bayley, Jax, Charlotte and Becky). Bayley dropkicks Charlotte and Jax against the ropes but Jax is right back with a big boot to eliminate Bayley, leaving us with three. The three way showdown is on with Jax splashing both of them in the corner. That sends Becky to the floor (not out) and it’s a Charlotte vs. Jax showdown that is a little more interesting than it sounds.

Something like a slow motion AA has Jax in trouble but Charlotte can’t follow up. Charlotte gets her onto the apron and Becky pulls her out, leaving us with Charlotte vs. Becky in the rivalry that won’t end. Hold on though as Jax shoves Becky off the steps and we have a knee injury. Referees check on her but Becky pulls herself back in for the fight. Well kind of at least as Becky falls straight back down as soon as she’s inside.

Becky says it’s her time and Charlotte has already taken enough from her. Charlotte, obviously, goes right after the knee but Becky kicks her in the face. She sends Charlotte to the apron but another kick to the leg cuts off the rally. Charlotte misses a charge though and a forearm sends Becky to Wrestlemania at 1:11:23.

Rating: D+. The Becky parts made it better but WOW this was badly laid out. There were far too many instances of people just standing around and doing nothing with several people staying in there too long. Ember for 52 minutes? Natalya for 56? Mandy Rose for nearly 26? You don’t need everyone in there for that long and it’s ok to come up with something other than “everyone stays on the ropes while two people do something in the middle” over and over. They got the right winner but it was a heck of a chore to get there.

Becky can barely stand but is very pleased with the results. The celebration goes on for a LONG time.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Bryan turned heel to steal the title and became the crazy environmentalist so, after losing to Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series, it’s time for a (second) rematch. AJ is out to show that he isn’t complacent, which included attacking Vince McMahon in a story that went nowhere.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

AJ is challenging. We get the Big Match Intros and AJ hammers him down in the corner so the champ bails for a bit. Back in and they fight on the mat for a bit with AJ’s wristlock not getting him very far. A headlock works a bit better as the first gear work continues. Bryan bails to the floor again but comes back in….to get punched in the face. An uppercut puts Styles in the corner and he gets dropped chest first onto the post to give Bryan a target.

Bryan starts in on the shoulder and cranks on a hammerlock on the mat with Styles having to use his foot to reach a rope. A cross armbreaker is broken up as well so Bryan punches him in the face to even the score. AJ scores with a dropkick and the pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls each. Bryan tosses him hard into the corner and that means the running dropkick.

A dragon suplex has AJ (with his bloody nose) rocked again and Bryan kicks him off the top and out to the floor. Bryan goes out after him but it’s the moonsault off the barricade into the perfect reverse DDT (that’s one of the best he’s ever hit). Back in and the springboard 450 hits Bryan’s knees, meaning the LeBell Lock goes on. Not to be outdone, AJ escapes and reverses into the Calf Crusher to stay on the knee.

That’s broken up as well and they’re both down for a bit. Bryan gets up first and kicks away at the arm, setting up the big kick to the head for two. AJ catches him on top and they slug it out up there, with Styles backflipping out of a belly to back superplex. The Calf Crusher goes on again before AJ switches to a cradle for two instead. Neither can get a backslide so AJ grabs a brainbuster for two more.

Rating: B+. I’m not wild on the ending but you can’t have AJ lose a clean fall here. They were working a heck of a match here with both of them going with their own style and having the other broken down. I don’t particularly care for Rowan interfering, but he and Bryan would wind up being a nice enough team so well done, even if it wasn’t the best feeling at the time.

Post match Rowan holds AJ up for the running knee from Bryan so things can continue.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar for the Raw World Title in a match hyped up as David vs. Goliath. Balor is small but can do extraordinary stuff so he wants to fight Lesnar. This isn’t the Demon for reasons of Balor wanting to do it himself, even though the Demon IS Balor, meaning the whole thing doesn’t make a lot of sense. Or they just don’t want Lesnar losing because that wouldn’t be very Lesnarish.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Balor dropkicks him at the bell to start and another running dropkick sends him into the corner. The first belly to belly cuts him off in a hurry though and we settle down for the first time. Another belly to belly on the floor rocks Balor again and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table.

Balor sends him ribs first into the corner of said table though and he does it again for painful measure. Brock can barely stand up as he throws Balor back inside for the shoulders in the corner. Another belly to belly has Balor flying but Lesnar is wincing a bit. Lesnar gets in yet another suplex but this time Balor is up with a Sling Blade. That’s it for the offense though as Lesnar BLASTS him with a clothesline.

Lesnar can’t hit a German suplex though as the stomach gives out. The F5 is countered into a DDT and Balor gets smart by stomping at the ribs. The big flip dive to the floor puts Lesnar down again and Balor hits a second for good measure. A third flip dive takes Lesnar down again but Renee says we’re having a new champion to end Balor’s hopes. Back in and Balor kicks him in the face, setting up the Coup de Grace for two, with Lesnar spinning into the Kimura on the kickout, making Balor tap at 8:36.

Rating: C+. Well that was short. They had some moments in there but at the same time, Lesnar wasn’t exactly doing much for the first half of the match. It got better once he was selling but there are only so many things you can do in less than nine minutes. The stuff with Lesnar’s stomach being messed up was enough to go somewhere, but this was only so good.

Post match Lesnar beats Balor up a few more times. This is something else that went nowhere.

Jerry Lawler and JBL join commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals again and Elias is in at #1, meaning it’s time for a song. Well make that insulting Phoenix until he’s interrupted by Jeff Jarrett of all people at #2. Jeff gets to strut and say ain’t I great as Elias is rather pleased by being interrupted by someone who brings something to the table. For now though, they need to sing together. And yes, they really are doing this three hours and forty minutes into a show with an hour long match to go. Jeff goes to spell his name so Elias hits him in the face to get things going.

Elias hammers away on the ropes and hits a clothesline so he can get in another catchphrase. A guitar shot to the back is enough to get rid of Jeff. Shinsuke Nakamura, last year’s winner, is in at #3 and he wastes no time in kicking Elias down. For some reason Elias goes up top for Old School, though it’s just an armdrag instead of a shot to the back. Kurt Angle is in at #4 to a big reaction and he starts in with the suplexes. Elias gets him in the corner though and it’s Big E. in at #5, with his gear including Kofi’s best Rumble moments. That’s rather cool….I think.

The Warrior Splash hits Nakamura but an Angle Slam takes Big E. down. Nakamura is back up with the running knee to Angle’s ribs and another running knee gets rid of Kurt. Honestly, it’s better to have him out that fast before he hurts himself again. Johnny Gargano is in at #6 and gets to clean house on Nakamura and Big E. The slingshot spear cuts Elias down and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #7. After he knocks everyone down, Gargano knocks Mahal out in about thirty seconds. The Singh Brothers get beaten up for a bonus and now it’s back to something that actually matters.

Samoa Joe is in at #8, just as Nakamura is surrounded in the corner. Elias gets kicked down and Joe just walks away from Gargano’s middle rope dive (that will always be cool). Joe dumps Big E. and it’s Curt Hawkins in at #9, still in the middle of his horrible losing streak. Hawkins gets in a few shots but bails to the floor in what is probably a smart move. The fans get behind Hawkins, even as Joe grabs him in the Koquina Clutch. For some reason Elias breaks that up and Hawkins bails to the floor again, this time hiding underneath the ring.

Seth Rollins is in at #10, giving us Elias, Nakamura, Gargano, Samoa Joe, Hawkins and Rollins. The springboard clotheslines hits Elias and there’s the Falcon Arrow to Gargano. Elias gets sent to the apron and then into the post for the elimination. It’s Titus O’Neil in at #11 and he crosses himself before charging to the ring, only to stop himself before getting to the apron in a funny moment. Titus sees Hawkins hiding underneath the ring and chases him inside, only to be eliminated almost immediately. Joe throws Hawkins out a second later to end the harmless comedy segment.

With the ring a little more cleared out, Kofi Kingston is in at #12 and things settle down a bit. As everyone fights by the ropes, Mustafa Ali is in at #13. Joe is waiting on him so Ali scores with a dropkick, only to get grabbed by Nakamura. That’s fine with Ali, who slips over the back and tells Nakamura to COME ON. Nakamura does just that and gets tossed out by Ali in quite the upset. Ali isn’t done either as he hits a tornado DDT on Gargano, only to get planted by Joe. Dean Ambrose, still in his pretty disastrous heel run, is in at #14 and goes right at it with Rollins, as expected.

With that broken up, Dean sends Kofi over the top but Kofi keeps one foot off the ground and rolls over to the steps to save himself. That’s not as good as his others, but maybe he’s crashing underneath the expectations. Kingston comes back in with a DDT to Dean, who is right back up to get rid of Gargano. No Way Jose, with the Conga Line, is in at #15 and Joe literally eliminates him in two seconds. No worries though as he and the Conga Line dance to the back as that was quite the use of an entrance.

Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and headbutts Jose for dancing too close to him. After cleaning some house, Joe and McIntyre slug it out for the hoss fight. The Claymore drops Joe and there’s one for Rollins as well as Xavier Woods is in at #17. As he is coming in, Kofi is knocked off the apron but sunset flips Woods, allowing him to keep one foot up.

Woods stands up with Kofi on his back (Cole to JBL: “I remember when you and Ron used to do this.”) and walks over to the steps for the real save of the year. Then McIntyre eliminates Woods and Kingston a second later because this show doesn’t like fun to last too long (completely appropriate for McIntyre of course). Pete Dunne is in at #18 and that gets a nice reaction. Dunne goes after Joe and Graves is rather pleased with everything going on at the moment.

Ali hangs on after being thrown to the apron and it’s Andrade in at #19. Andrade goes after Dunne in a match that sounds rather interesting indeed. With no one close to an elimination, Apollo Crews is in at #20, giving us Joe, Rollins, Ali, Ambrose, McIntyre, Dunne, Andrew and Apollo. McIntyre is sent to the apron and it’s Aleister Black (without the riser) in at #21. He goes right after Dunne in another match that sounds awesome (it’s almost like Dunne is great or something) but switches to Ambrose, with Black Mass connecting for the elimination.

Shelton Benjamin is in at #22 and goes at it with Crews for the athletic freak off. Crews saves himself from being eliminated as Shelton gets Koquina Clutched. That’s broken up and Ali dumps Joe in an upset. Baron Corbin is in at #23, fresh from his shift at *insert restaurant joke of the day here*. Deep Six drops Ali but he hangs onto the rope so Corbin knocks out Crews instead. Black and McIntyre slug it out and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #24 to keep the talent field high.

Lashley pulls Rollins, who low bridged him out, to the floor and beats the heck out of him to let off some steam. Rollins is spinebustered through the announcers’ table and it’s Braun Strowman in at lucky #27 for a possible (though unlikely) winner. Strowman knocks Corbin out in a hurry and there goes Benjamin a few seconds later. McIntyre dumps Hardy as Dolph Ziggler, his recent rival, is in at #28. That means a superkick to get rid of McIntyre and it’s Randy Orton in at #29 for the slow walk to the ring.

Strowman is right there for the showdown and the RKO is blocked in a hurry. Andrade loads up a superplex on Ali, so Strowman puts them BOTH on his shoulders with Mysterio diving off the top to take them down in your HOW CAN HE DO THAT spot of the match. R-Truth (also here because of the Mixed Match Challenge) is in at #30….but hang on as Nia Jax of all people jumps him from behind to take his spot, continuing the near trolling levels of a push. That gives us a final group of Rollins, Ali, Andrade, Orton, Strowman, Ziggler, Orton and Jax.

Nia gets to wreck some people and Ali is out in a hurry after a surprising thirty plus minutes. Orton stares Jax down but can’t hit the surprise RKO attempt, earning himself a shoulder down. Jax tells Rey to go for the 619 on Orton but cuts him off, only to get superkicked by Ziggler. The 619 hits Jax and Orton connects with the RKO, setting up a baseball slide from Mysterio to get rid of her.

Orton tosses Mysterio and Andrade dumps Orton, leaving us with Ziggler, Andrade, and Rollins and Strowman on the floor. Strowman comes back in and splashes Andrade and Ziggler in the corners to send them outside again. Hold on though as Strowman needs to go to the floor again to run Rollins over.

Everyone goes after Strowman in a 2004 flashback but he gets rid of Andrade and Ziggler. Rollins uses the momentum to put him on the apron but charges into a chokeslam. Back in and Rollins grabs a guillotine to pull Strowman to the apron and sends him into the post. A kick to the ribs sets up the Stomp on the apron to get rid of Strowman to give Rollins the win at 57:34.

Rating: B. This was much more like it with a nice mix of brawling, comedy, action and an only somewhat guaranteed winner. I know you can’t really hide the fact that someone is a shoe in winner but it’s nice to see them at least giving it a little bit more drama. Rollins winning made sense here as he had been on fire for the last year and needed something like this. Good Rumble, though there have been a lot better.

SIGN POINTING, yes I said SIGN POINTING, ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m curious to see how this one holds up against the original rating as the length was driving me crazy this time around. There is a lot of good stuff on here but EGADS it’s a two hour Kickoff Show and then four hours and forty minutes of the main show. You really needed to have the weird Tag Team Title deal on the Kickoff Show and then put Miz and Shane on the main show? That, plus Bryan vs. Styles, could have been on a big Smackdown at worst and this show could have been trimmed down by 45 minutes.

The only bad thing on here is the women’s Royal Rumble, but when that one match is nearly an hour and fifteen minutes long, it has quite the negative impact on the rest of the show. The men’s match makes up for it and the card is much better than worse, but they really, really need to stop with these shows getting close to (or over in Wrestlemania’s case) seven hours. It doesn’t matter how good it is. If you’re going three hours over the length of Wrestlemania X7, the time is going to cause a lot of problems. Anyway, good show, which could have been great with a big editing job.

Ratings Comparison

Chad Gable/Bobby Roode vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Original: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Original: C

2020 Redo: C-

Buddy Murphy vs. Hideo Itami vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Kalisto

Original: C+

2020 Redo: B-

Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B+

The Bar vs. Shane McMahon/The Miz

Original: D

2020 Redo: C

Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

2020 Redo: D+

AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: C-

2020 Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor

Original: C+

2020 Redo: C+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: D

2020 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2020 Redo: B-

WOW. I was actually shocked by the original ratings of those Rumbles and the Styles vs. Bryan match. I’ve mellowed a lot since then as the show really isn’t that bad.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/01/28/royal-rumble-2019-i-almost-had-a-birthday-watching-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2019
Date: January 27, 2019
Location: Chase Field, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s the first of the Big Four pay per views and that means it’s time to really get going with the busiest season of the year. In this case that means a pair of Royal Rumble matches, which may or may not have the highest levels of drama. I’m not sure who we’ll be seeing tonight, but it could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The stadium looks huge, though it doesn’t look full.

Kickoff Show: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable vs. Rezar/Scott Dawson

THIS NEEDED TO BE ADDED TO THE SHOW??? If Rezar and Dawson win, both of their teams get future title shots. Akam is injured at the moment in case this is even more confusing than it seems. As a bonus, the cameraman falls over while trying to get a closeup of Roode during his entrance. Roode and Dawson start things off with Scott getting caught in a wristlock. It’s back to Gable but Rezar comes in to hammer away with the heavy forearms.

With Gable properly beaten, Dawson comes in for a suplex, followed by a chinlock. That’s rather old school of him. Back up and they slug it out until a shove into the ropes sends Gable head first into Dawson, meaning a double knockdown. Rezar comes in but gets caught in the armbreaker over the ropes. Everything breaks down and Dawson runs into Rezar by mistake, setting up the moonsault/neckbreaker combination to finish Dawson at 6:55.

Rating: D+. Well that was a distinct waste of time. The match was added to the card as a bonus and the not exactly interesting champions defeated their makeshift challengers, as in the team they should beat, without much effort. So much for having the Revival get somewhere out of all their recent drama, at least for one night. You couldn’t possibly have Rezar lose here you see. He doesn’t have a partner at the moment, but it makes more sense to beat half of the Revival. Again.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Rusev vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Rusev is defending and goes straight with the corner shoulders to the ribs. A running clothesline puts Nakamura on the floor but he gets in a shot against the barricade to take over. Back in and some Bad Vibrations set up the running knee to the ribs as they’re doing just about the same match (at least the same pace) as before. The knees to the head don’t do too much damage to Rusev as he’s right back with the spinwheel kick for two.

Nakamura bails to the floor so Rusev loads up a suicide dive (!), which is cut off by a kick to the head. Well thank goodness for that. Nakamura fires off more kicks to the head for a near fall but Rusev ax handles him down. You don’t see that one very often, but you do see the Machka Kick, which makes it even worse.

Rusev gets caught in a triangle choke until a suplex finally gets him out of trouble. Nakamura kicks him down again so the referee checks on Rusev, allowing Nakamura to go after the turnbuckle pad. It’s Lana offering a distraction but she gets knocked off the apron and hurts her ankle. Rusev is distracted again, and this time a running knee to the back of the head gives Nakamura the title back at 10:15.

Rating: C. I’m so glad they gave Rusev the title so they could give it back to Nakamura to restart his nothing reign. That title is the kiss of death at the moment with no one getting anything out of it. It’s not like either of them being champion means anything more than the other, but this is kind of a confusing choice.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Kalisto vs. Hideo Itami

Murphy is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Everyone goes for rollups to start but can’t get anywhere so Tozawa puts Murphy in a Black Widow. Kalisto makes a save and snaps off a hurricanrana to send Murphy outside. Itami starts cleaning house and wins a strike off with Murphy, followed by knocking Kalisto outside.

Tozawa’s dive takes Murphy out but Kalisto gets back in to clean house, including monkey flipping Tozawa off the apron onto Murphy. This time it’s Tozawa heading back inside to take over, capped off by the suicide headbutt on Itami. Buddy is back up with the running flip dive to the floor onto all three. Kalisto is up first with a hurricanrana driver for two on Murphy as the all over the place offense continues.

Murphy powerbombs Kalisto out of the corner for the same with Tozawa having to make a save. The Salida Del Sol gets a VERY close two on Itami but Murphy takes over again. It’s Itami hitting an enziguri on Murphy so Tozawa and Kalisto break it up with stereo superkicks. Murphy is right back up and countering whatever Itami’s finisher is supposed to be, setting up Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:07.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be with a bunch of spots and all kinds of entertainment going on. It didn’t need to be anything more than a fast paced spotfest and that’s what they did here. Murphy retaining is fine and I liked the match well enough. It also didn’t overstay its welcome, which is often a problem with a match like this. Good stuff here.

The opening video looks at what the Rumble means, both as a show and as a match itself. This includes some history of the match, meaning some comedy, which doesn’t really fit with the serious nature of the video.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Asuka is defending after taking the title from Becky in a triple threat match last month. Becky gets shoved down as there’s a rather loud high pitched noise. Back up and Asuka kicks the leg out but gets hip attacked out to the floor. Asuka misses the running kick off the apron and gets her own leg kicked out to put Becky in control for the first time. Back in and Becky sends her face first into the corner before stomping away for good measure. It’s too early for the arm but Asuka misses the running hip attack and gets caught in the ropes.

That’s fine though as it’s the Asuka Lock from the ropes for a few seconds. The missing continues though as Asuka goes shoulder first into the post, setting up a Disarm-Her in the ropes. Becky dives into a knee to the face though and the hip attack connects for two. The missile dropkick misses and Becky gets her own two off a bell to belly. Asuka is right back with most of an Asuka Lock, allowing Becky to roll to the ropes.

They fight to the apron and it’s a fisherman’s neckbreaker (I think) Asuka onto the floor for a huge (and scary looking) crash. They’re both alive and get back in for the slugout with Becky getting the better of it. Asuka gets caught in a super Bexploder for a very close two as the fans are getting way into these near falls.

Becky misses the middle rope legdrop though and gets pulled into the Disarm-Her, which is reversed into an Asuka Lock (on Asuka) for a pretty sweet sequence that you don’t see from the women. Asuka flips back for two and there’s the big kick to the head. Becky pulls her down into the Disarm-Her but this time it’s Asuka escaping. The full Asuka Lock goes on and Asuka flips forward into something close to Cattle Mutilation for the clean tap at 16:37.

Rating: B+. Very good match here with some crazy counters, though having Becky tap clean feels like a bad idea. I fully expect her to come back in and win the Rumble for the title shot, but this was a great example of WWE booking themselves into a corner. This could have been Charlotte losing instead and giving Asuka her win back from Wrestlemania, but instead they take something away from Becky before she’s likely winning later in the night, or at Elimination Chamber. Just seems unnecessary.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Shane McMahon/The Miz vs. The Bar

Shane and Miz are challenging in matching baseball jerseys. Shane takes Sheamus down at the bell because that’s what you do to a four time World Champion. We officially start with Cesaro vs. Miz as Miz can’t get a Skull Crushing Finale. The double teaming begins in the corner so it’s Shane running over for a quick save. Shane gets knocked off the apron (I think that’s enough to make Sheamus a five time World Champion) but he’s right back to save Miz from a powerbomb through the announcers’ table.

The big elbow is broken up so Shane hits a top rope clothesline on Sheamus instead. Cesaro uppercuts him in the face though and the double backbreaker gets two on Miz. Sheamus hits a middle rope knee to the chest for the same and it’s off to the ten forearms to the chest for a bonus. Miz fights out of a chinlock as this is somehow still going. The hot tag brings in Shane for the umping elbow to Sheamus and the horrible spinning DDT on Cesaro. Coast to Coast is broken up by Cesaro so Shane knocks him into the corner as well.

Since Shane can beat up one of the most successful tag teams of the modern era on his own. Thankfully Cesaro counters into the Swing, and it’s a LONG one with the fans giving him a quick standing ovation. Shane is fine of course and grabs what was supposed to be a triangle choke until Sheamus makes the save. Miz gets dropped on the floor and the spike White Noise, which pinned Seth Rollins last year, gets two. Miz breaks up the Brogue Kick so it takes out Cesaro instead, setting up Shane’s shooting star press for the pin and the titles at 13:23.

Rating: D. Not only was the match boring, but Shane McMahon just won a title in 2019. This is also the second stupid title loss for the Bar in less than a year after they lost to a ten year old at Wrestlemania. I’m sure they’ll get the titles back, but my goodness what is the point in this? To set up Shane vs. Miz at Wrestlemania? Is that what anyone wants to see?

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks. Rousey tried to be nice to Banks but Sasha got serious and promised to make Rousey tap. That was enough to set Rousey off and we have a fired up champ.

Raw Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks

Rousey is defending. It’s way too early for the submissions so Rousey throws her into the corner and stops for some taunting. Rousey goes for Three Amigos but has to slip out of a Bank Statement attempt. Back up and Banks slaps her in the face, earning herself a kick to the ribs. They fight outside with Rousey punching the post, allowing Banks to hit a heck of a suicide dive. Things finally slow down a bit with Rousey grabbing a chinlock until Banks shoves her into the corner for some running knees.

An elbow to the face puts Banks down but she comes back up with some loud slaps to the back. The Rope walk sets up a Codebreaker to the bad arm and a running knee gets two. More running knees miss in the corner so Rousey tries Piper’s Pit, only to be reversed into a heck of an armbar on the bad arm. Rousey starts to roll out but gets pulled into the Bank Statement. It’s too close to the ropes though and now Piper’s Pit connects.

For some reason Rousey goes up top, earning herself a superplex for two. The armbar goes on again as you can’t say Banks isn’t focused. Rousey is all fired up and hits three straight judo throws by the arm. Banks sends her outside again though and Rousey’s arm is just hanging there. Another suicide dive is countered into the Beast Mode armbar on the floor to make Sasha tap, which didn’t make a ton of sense but looked awesome as you got the Death Stare.

Back in and Rousey unloads with right hands and a running knee of her own for two. Banks sends her arm first into the corner again though and it’s a double stomp onto the arm. The Backstabber is countered into an armbar attempt but another Piper’s Pit is countered into a crossbody for two. The Bank Statement can’t quite go on so it’s a Fujiwara armbar in the middle of the ring. Rousey rolls out of that as well and it’s a gutwrench suplex into Piper’s Pit for the pin at 13:48, though it looked like Rousey’s shoulders were down as well.

Rating: B+. I liked this even more than I was expecting to and it was a heck of a match. The arm stuff made sense and I’m glad they went with that instead of the back/ribs stuff that we’ve done a few times now. Banks looked more motivated than she has in years here and that’s not exactly surprising. As a bonus, Rousey was really showing off the athleticism here and made herself look even more talented than usual. Very good match and worth seeing.

Post match Rousey tries to show respect and gives her the Four Horsewomen sign but Banks isn’t having it and storms off.

Kickoff Show recap.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals. Beth Phoenix is out for commentary and it’s Lacey Evans in at #1 and gives a rather condescending promo about wanting to clean up the division. Natalya is in at #2, which is quite the letdown after that kind of a setup. Lacey flips away from Natalya to start but they both miss dropkicks at the same time. The nipup doesn’t quite work for Lacey and it’s a wristlock to keep her in trouble. A hurricanrana takes Natalya down though and it’s Mandy Rose in at #3.

Natalya is right back up and does the still ridiculous looking double Sharpshooter until Liv Morgan is in at #4….and is eliminated in about two seconds off a Natalya backdrop. Lacey turns on Mandy but stops to pull a napkin from her trunks and wipe down a bit before throwing it at the other two (make your own Priscilla Kelly jokes). Mickie James is in at #5 and kicks Natalya in the head. No one goes for an elimination until Ember Moon is in at #6 to a big reaction (complete with a CGI moon, making me want to play Major’s Mask). Moon gets in all the usual until Mandy catches her in the corner.

Billie Kay is in at #7 but says she’s staying outside until Peyton Royce is here. Smart move actually and perfectly legal. Nikki Cross is in at #8 and sprints to ringside where she beats up Kay. House is cleaned but Lacey manages to avoid getting thrown out. Kay is inside now as the ring is starting to get too full. Peyton Royce is in at #9 and helps Billie up to go after Nikki. Some double teaming keeps her in trouble but there’s no elimination as Tamina is in at #10.

We currently have Evans, Natalya, Rose, James, Moon, Kay, Cross, Royce and Tamina. Kay goes after Tamina and nearly gets thrown out, but instead Tamina goes after Cross and this the top rope splash. A superkick puts James out and it’s Xia Li (of the Mae Young Classic) in at #11. Some kicks to the head drop Tamina and even more put everyone else down. Xia stands tall as Sara Logan is in at #12. The IIconics get together and dumb Cross in a rather quick elimination.

Charlotte is in at #13 and you can tell things are getting serious. Li gets sent to the apron and booted out as the ring is suddenly a lot less full. Tamina scores with a superkick and it’s Kairi Sane in at #14. The IIconics seem to have been eliminated as Sane is having way too much fun with her telescope. Charlotte gets Tamina out and there’s the top rope forearm from Sane to Moon. Charlotte welcomes the chops from Sane, who moves on to knocking Logan down.

The Insane Elbow connects and Natalya knocks Logan out. Maria Kanellis is in at #15 to get us to halftime and hopefully write off some of the rumors about her leaving. A double bulldog has Charlotte and Moon down but for some reason Maria stops for a dance, allowing Charlotte to nail her with a spear. Naomi is in at #16 and hits a sitout jawbreaker on Rose, as you had to expect.

A suplex to the apron sets up a kick to the head and Mandy is out. Naomi takes her time on the apron though and gets powerbombed against the barricade, only to kick Mandy in the head and crawl up onto the barricade. The tightrope walk lets Naomi get around for a Kofi Kingston-esque dive to the steps (that was VERY impressive) but Mandy pulls her to the floor anyway. Charlotte kicks Evans out and it’s Candice LeRae in at #17 for another NXT surprise. A Black Widow has Ember in trouble but she comes back with a gutbuster to put Candice down.

Some headscissors let Kacy put some people down with one putting Fox onto the apron. Zelina Vega (as someone from Street Fighter) is in at #20, giving us Natalya, Moon, Charlotte, Sane, LeRae, Fox, Catanzaro and Vega. LeRae and Vega go at it as a followup from NXT and it’s Ruby Riott, flanked by Morgan and Logan, in at #21. The Squad pull people underneath the ropes to cause some chaos but do managed to eliminate Fox and LeRae as Vega is hiding underneath the ring.

Dana Brooke is in at #22 and hits a heck of a sitout powerbomb on Catanzaro. The Squad keeps pulling people outside without eliminating most of them as Io Shirai is in at #23. She beats up the Squad in short order and hits the moonsault to the floor (she was never in so it’s not an elimination).

Riott and Shirai fight to the apron and it’s Rhea Ripley in at #24. She throws Catanzaro to the floor but Catanzaro lands on her back, allowing her to backflip onto the barricade and then hand walk to the post, where she flips up and climbs back in. Ripley throws her out without much of a problem, but WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT AND WHY CAN SHE DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT???

Sonya Deville is in at #25 and Brooke is eliminated as Vega keeps watching…..and Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring skirt next to her. The chase is on and Vega goes inside where she’s eliminated in short order. Alexa Bliss makes her return at #26 and moonsaults into double knees to Moon’s chest. A sunset bomb plants Charlotte and it’s Sonya unloading on Bliss in the corner. Bliss gets rid of Sonya and it’s Bayley (to a pop) at #27.

That means the pace can pick up and it’s Riott and Ripley being tossed out. Lana is in at #28 and selling the ankle from earlier in the night. The fans are begging for Becky to come out and take her place as Lana has taken over a minute to get about a third of the way to the ring. Nia Jax is in at #29 and jumps Lana on the way to the ring so I think you know where this is going. Shirai moonsault onto Jax but gets thrown outside, landing hard onto her ankle. Jax throws Natalya out as well and it’s Carmella in at #30, giving us a final field of Charlotte, Bayley, Jax, Sane, Moon, Bliss and maybe Lana, who never got in the ring.

With Carmella taking Jax down, here’s Becky to appeal to Fit Finlay (I call international collusion!) to let her take Lana’s spot. Finlay agrees and we have the final field. We get straight to the Becky vs. Jax showdown and Becky unloads on her to a freaking roar. Bliss pulls Moon to the apron and it’s a leg trip to get rid of Moon after 53 minutes. Bayley gives Bliss a buckle bomb and that’s enough for the elimination.

That leaves us with Bayley, Nia, Carmella, Charlotte and Becky. Jax gets knocked through the ropes and Charlotte reverses a running headscissors from Carmella but cant’ get rid of her. A running big boot knocks Carmella out and Bayley sends Charlotte to the apron. Nia throws Bayley out (with Bayley clutching her knee on the landing) to get us down to three. Becky rolls to the floor and Charlotte fireman’s carries Nia….nowhere actually.

Nia goes over the top and Becky pulls her out, leaving us with Charlotte vs. Becky, much to the fans’ approval. Nia pulls Becky off the apron though and we’ve got a knee injury. Becky charges inside anyway and gets her leg taken out rather quickly. Charlotte cranks on the leg but Becky pops up and sends her to the apron. A running shot is enough to get rid of Charlotte to give Becky the win at 1:11:23.

Rating: B. I think I liked this one more than last year’s. The winner was the predictable (not a bad thing) and right call, but the bigger deal here was the lack of legends. It’s a good sign that the divisions have grown enough that they can have one of these without having so many people added to the match from years past. The NXT women were a nice touch and the match never felt like it was dragging.

I wouldn’t mind for it to be a little less messy though, as there were too many people on the floor at various times and a few too many spots of people saving themselves. That being said, Catanzaro is not human and that save was incredible, likely more impressive than most of Kofi’s. The Hornswoggle spot was hilarious too and I’m very relieved that he was used for that instead of a Rumble entry. Good match here, as the division looks a lot deeper this year.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Daniel Bryan turned heel back in November and won the title from Styles via a low blow. AJ Styles has turned it up a few notches though and is now the REAL AJ Styles again. This should be a heck of a match if given time, but it’s almost 10:00 and we have two World Title matches and a Royal Rumble to go.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending. AJ starts fast and slugs away but gets sent hard into the post for a trip to the floor. The shoulder is sent into the post again and it’s off to a hammerlock. Bryan seems very pleased with AJ possibly having a bloody nose and hammers away on the mat some more.

AJ gets back up with a suplex and right hands of his own, only to get suplexed onto the back of his head. Bryan gets sent outside for some kicks to the face as this is severely dragging. Back in and they trade submission finishers with AJ CRANKING on the leg in a painful looking visual. The rope is grabbed and Bryan kicks him down again. They head up top with AJ flipping out of a belly to back superplex before grabbing the Calf Crusher.

That’s broken up again but AJ gets kicked out of the air on a springboard attempt. Bryan takes the Pele though and they’re both down. Cue Erick Rowan of all people as they get back up, only to have Bryan enziguri the referee by mistake. The Styles Clash hits Bryan, drawing in Rowan to chokeslam Styles. The referee revives to count the pin as Bryan retains at 24:18.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t exactly great and didn’t need to take place at this point. It’s nearly 10:30 and we’re going to be lucky to finish this show by midnight. They’re already doing a rematch from Bryan pinning him clean and it was just to set up Rowan as Bryan’s enforcer. This wasn’t the right place and it came at the wrong time. It’s not bad, but it didn’t need to go this way.

We look at the big brawl after last night’s Takeover, which set up a six man tag during halftime of the Super Bowl.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar. It’s literally billed as David vs. Goliath, with the much smaller Balor earning the shot when Braun Strowman lost his shot after destroying Vince McMahon’s limo. Balor seems to be in over his head but wants to fight, as is his custom.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor

Balor is defending and charges straight at Lesnar at the bell. A few more shots have him in trouble but he catches a charge with a belly to belly. Balor wisely rolls outside with Brock following, only to get sent ribs first into the announcers’ table. Back in and it’s more belly to bellies to put Balor in more trouble.

A clothesline turns Balor inside out but Lesnar’s ribs are still banged up. Lesnar goes to finish with the F5, which is reversed into a hard DDT. Balor stomps away at the ribs and gets in a jumping double stomp. They head outside with Balor nailing the running flip dive as Lesnar is in trouble. Back in and the Coup de Grace connects for two, but Brock slaps on the Kimura for the tap at 8:37.

Rating: C+. This was good while it lasted but it was way too short and there was no way it was going to be much more without the extra time. Balor was game and trying with Lesnar doing his usual very good selling, but with less time than a Raw main event, there wasn’t much they could do.

Post match Balor hits some more German suplexes and an F5.

Jerry Lawler and JBL come out for commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Elias is in at #1 and let’s have a song. Before he can sing though, it’s Jeff Jarrett in at #2 for the big music off. Jeff does his catchphrases and they agree to a duet but Elias punches him in the face and a guitar shot is enough to get rid of Jarrett. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #3 and goes straight at Elias in the corner. Elias pops up with a rope walk as Kurt Angle is in at #4. Suplexed abound and it’s Big E. in at #5. The Big Ending to Big E. doesn’t work and it’s a bunch of knees, including one in the corner to get rid of Angle. Johnny Gargano is in at #6 and it’s a running hurricanrana on Elias.

A not great looking tornado DDT drops Big E., followed by the slingshot spear to Elias (Johnny must not like him). Jinder Mahal is in at #7 and after a few knees, is eliminated by Gargano. The Singh Brothers aren’t done though as they get dragged in for a beatdown from Elias and Big E. Samoa Joe is in at #8 and gets a rather strong reaction. The sidestep avoids Gargano’s middle rope kick to the face and a rake to the eyes is enough to get rid of Big E.

Curt Hawkins is in at #9, hits a forearm to Joe’s back, and then bails to the floor. For some reason he comes back in, only to walk into the Koquina Clutch. Elias makes a save so Hawkins can bail to the floor for some hiding underneath the ring. It’s Seth Rollins in at #10, giving us Elias, Nakamura, Gargano, Joe, Hawkins (underneath the ring) and Rollins. Seth gets rid of Elias in a hurry and it’s Titus O’Neil in at #11, complete with stopping to make sure he doesn’t slide underneath the ring.

Instead he sees Hawkins and goes after him underneath the ring, only to charge after him and get tossed in a hurry. Joe dumps Hawkins though and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #12. Rollins runs Nakamura over with an elbow and the clock seems to be getting a little faster as Mustafa Ali is in at #13. That means a rolling X Factor to Joe and a COME ON to Nakamura. Shinsuke charges and that’s enough for an elimination.

Ali hits a tornado DDT on Gargano but he runs into the overhead belly to belly from Joe into the corner. Dean Ambrose is in at #14 and it’s time for the showdown with Rollins. Dean knocks Kofi to the floor but Kofi puts his feet on the apron and rolls over until he gets to the steps. Kofi comes back in with a top rope DDT to Ambrose but Dean is right back up with Dirty Deeds to Gargano. Johnny is out but Kofi hits Dean with Trouble in Paradise. No Way Jose is in at #15 and is out so fast that he might have broken Santino Marella’s record.

No worries though as he and the conga line dance straight to the back. JBL: “Does he realize that he was just eliminated from the Royal Rumble?” Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and headbutts Jose before wrecking some of the conga line. It’s a series of Claymore kicks, including a great one to Joe, to put everyone down. Kofi gets knocked over the top as Xavier Woods is in at #17. As Kofi is getting shoved to the floor, he sunset flips Woods with only one foot touching, allowing Woods to stand up and piggyback Kofi to the steps. Once inside, Drew clotheslines them both out in a funny bit.

Pete Dunne is in at #18 and goes straight after Ali. Joe can’t suplex him and it’s time to go after a bunch of fingers. Dunne suplexes Ali onto Joe and Andrade is in at #19. A spinning DDT plants Dunne as there is some crazy talent in there. Apollo Crews is in at #20, giving us Joe, Rollins, Ali, Ambrose, McIntyre, Dunne, Andrade and Crews. Things slow down and it’s Aleister Black in at #21. A huge kick drops Ali and another one eliminates Ambrose. Shelton Benjamin is in at #22 with Paydirt to Benjamin, followed by Ali dumping Joe.

Shelton is out as well and it’s Dolph Ziggler in at #28. Hardy is knocked out and Ziggler gets rid of McIntyre as a bonus. Randy Orton is in at #29 and gets to stare down Strowman but the RKO is easily blocked. The powerslam connects and Strowman puts Andrade in an electric chair, while Andrade superplexes Ali. Rey adds something close to a high crossbody for the big crash, followed by Strowman going shoulder first into the post, as is his custom. R-Truth is in at #30….and Nia Jax jumps him from behind?

Nia takes his place, giving us Mysterio, Andrade, Ziggler, Orton, Strowman (on the floor), Ali, Rollins (on the floor) and Jax. Nia dumps Ali out and gets to star Orton down. The RKO is blocked so Ziggler superkicks Nia into the 619 (JBL: “Rey don’t do that!”). An RKO takes Jax down and it’s Rey baseball sliding her out. There’s an RKO to get rid of Rey but Andrade throws Orton out. We’re down to Ziggler, Strowman, Rollins and Andrade with Ziggler and Andrade striking it out.

Strowman comes back in to run them both over as Rollins is getting back up. That means the running shoulder on the floor and Strowman throws him inside, where the triple teaming begins on the monster. Strowman pops back up to get rid of Andrade and knocks Ziggler out as well. Rollins puts Strowman on the apron but charge into a chokeslam. Not over the top, but a chokeslam nonetheless. They get back in and Rollins pulls him to the apron by the head ala Chris Benoit and Big Show. It’s not enough for an elimination so Rollins sends him into the post and adds a Stomp for the win at 57:34.

Rating: D. It’s really hard to hate a match that had that kind of stretch in the teens but my goodness they missed on the final batch. Nia Jax as #30 wasn’t interesting and isn’t exactly an upgrade over someone who can at least do some funny stuff. The rest of the match wasn’t much better, as a lot of spots were wasted on nothing entries like Hawkins, O’Neil and Mahal. Throw in a comedy legend here or there to spice things up a bit and this is a lot better.

There were some good points here, as they went with the logical and obvious winner (not a bad thing) in Rollins and showcased a lot of young guys. Other than Black I can’t imagine any of them sticking around on the main roster but it’s nice to see them get a chance against the big names. Just….be more interesting.

Overall Rating: D+. There were parts here that worked but my goodness the length crippled this show. You could have EASILY shed an hour and a half off of this thing by dropping the Smackdown Tag Team Title match, the Smackdown Women’s Title match, and the Smackdown World Title match. Make Asuka vs. Becky (which was awesome) a big TV match and put Styles vs. Bryan on in a similar spot. Just because you can put something on the card doesn’t mean you should and that’s the big lesson here. This was almost an hour longer than last year’s way too long show because WWE refuses to hit the brakes.

There are good parts to the show but it’s the overall presentation that is severely lacking. It’s the length, it’s the lack of any surprises in the Rumbles (again: not a bad idea, but certainly not a thrilling one), it’s the lack of interesting names in the Rumble and it’s spending way too much time on stuff that doesn’t need to be on the show. I was begging for this show to be over at the halfway point and it just kept dragging along. There is no excuse for any show, including Wrestlemania, to be starting at 5 and ending at nearly midnight. That’s the big problem here and there’s very little that the wrestlers can do about it.

Results

Asuka b. Becky Lynch – Asuka Lock

Shane McMahon/The Miz b. The Bar – Shooting star press to Cesaro

Ronda Rousey b. Sasha Banks – Piper’s Pit

Becky Lynch won the Women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Charlotte

Daniel Bryan b. AJ Styles – Pin after a chokeslam from Erick Rowan

Brock Lesnar b. Finn Balor – Kimura

Seth Rollins won the Men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Braun Strowman

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Royal Rumble 2018
Date: January 28, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,629
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since this show as I can barely remember most of the card. This show features the first ever all women’s Royal Rumble, which really is quite the milestone. Now of course they had to bring in a bunch of legends/former wrestlers who aren’t legends but are called such to fill in the lineup, but there are worse things to do. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Kalisto/Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

They aren’t the Lucha House Party yet but they’re the Lucha House Party. As usual, the arena is still mostly empty because we need to be having a match an hour and a half before the show starts. Kalisto and Gulak start things off with a weak POWERPOINT chant annoying Drew. The announcers talk about the upcoming 205 Live General Manager as Kalisto twists the knee around into something like a reverse Figure Four. Gulak rolls out so it’s Metalik and Gallagher (in his suit of course) coming in instead.

A quick takedown sends Gallagher outside where he insists a fan not boo him. TJP comes in and that earns him a triple dab from the House Party. We settle down to TJP and Dorado exchanging wristlocks until Kalisto comes in for a headlock. The pace picks up again but this time it’s Gulak coming in and flying over the top to the floor. All three luchadors get on the top and it’s a triple moonsault to the floor to pop the dozens of fans in attendance.

Back from a break with TJP dropkicking Dorado out of the air so the heat segment can begin. Gallagher hits a surfboard double stomp on the knees and it’s off to a leg crank. Gulak stomps away and it’s back to TJP to look annoyed at Dorado for not staying down. Instead it’s Gallagher going to the middle rope and looking terrified, allowing Dorado to roll away. After a quick lecture, Gulak comes in as Metalik gets the hot tag to pick up the pace. The rope walk elbow gets two as everything breaks down. The double Golden Rewind sets up a big double dive from Metalik for two on Gulak. A quick Salida Del Sol finishes TJP at 13:13.

Rating: C. For the life of me I don’t get the point in having these matches this early. There’s no one there and while the action was fine, it’s not like there’s anyone to react to them. They had a nice match here though with the dives taking them wherever they wanted to go. 205 Live was still figuring out a bunch of things but the match worked well enough because people who can fly around are always going to be worth a look.

The crowd has filled in now.

Kickoff Show: Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs Revival

What a lack of a difference a year makes. Revival is fresh off getting beaten up by a bunch of legends Dawson chops at Anderson in the corner until a dropkick gets him out of trouble. Dawson makes a tag from the floor (not sure if you can do that) and the distraction lets him rake Gallows’ eyes, though it doesn’t really do much. The threat of a right hand sends Revival outside and we take a break. Back with Dawson snapping Anderson’s knee over the middle rope to give the Revival a target.

Anderson gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Brock Lesnar. The leglocking begins so Anderson kicks him square in the jaw for the break. That’s always going to work but it’s not enough to get the hot tag off to Gallows. Another kick away allows the tag to Gallows so the pace can pick up. House is cleaned but the Magic Killer is broken up as Anderson comes back in for some reason. Anderson is fine enough to hit a kick to the head in the corner, only to have a chop block finish Anderson at 9:14.

Rating: C. Another match that only served as filler for the sake of filling time, which is one of the most annoying things you can have. It’s a match that didn’t need to exist and only served to burn off a little more of the crowd’s energy before we get to the matches that actually matter. The match was fine, though just another match that didn’t serve much of a purpose.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Open challenge it seems. Roode is defending, having won the title less than two weeks ago. Before the match, Roode talks about winning the title and being the Glorious One. Rawley plants him with a shoulder but Roode is right back with a hard clothesline. A Russian legsweep gets two but it’s way too early for a Glorious DDT. Instead Rawley sends him outside and into the barricade for two as we take a break. Back with Roode still in trouble as Rawley drives knees into the ribs.

We hit the chinlock until Roode belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. The Blockbuster is countered but Roode slips off and grabs a neckbreaker for two more. Now the Blockbuster gets two but the Glorious DDT is broken up again. A spinebuster gives Rawley two and he sends Roode shoulder first into the post. The running right hand is blocked with a boot though and the (not very) Glorious DDT retains the title at 7:37.

Rating: D+. I for one am very glad that we had to sit through this as well, with Roode barely breaking a sweat to retain the title in a match that was never in doubt. Roode isn’t exactly thrilling as a face but even worse is the fact that he got stuck with the US Title of Death, which has hurt just about everyone it’s touched for a long time now.

The opening video talks about the opportunity for all, both in the Royal Rumbles and in the triple threat. Thankfully the rest of the card gets some time as well, even if Brock Lesnar still looms over everyone.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Owens and Zayn are challenging in a handicap match as part of the Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon love/hate Owens/Zayn story which was more about Shane than anyone else. I miss Sami’s heel stuff as he really is someone you want to see get punched in the face. Owens lets Sami start but he tags right back out. It’s another tag a few seconds later as they’re clearly filling in time here. That’s not a complaint as there’s only so much that can be realistically done in a match like this.

AJ takes Owens down without much effort so Kevin slides to the floor and tags Sami in from the floor to a rather nice reaction. Sami headlocks AJ for little avail as Saxton GOES OFF on Graves in the most emotional outburst I’ve ever heard from him. A cheap shot lets Owens take over on AJ with a hard whip into the corner getting two. They head outside (Owens: “We’ll play outside!”) with AJ being whipped ribs first into the barricade.

Back in and Sami grabs a quickly broken chinlock, allowing AJ to come back up slugging away at Owens. A missed Cannonball in the corner bangs up Owens’ knee to put him down for a bit, allowing AJ to pull Sami off the top for a breather. Owens tries to come back in but can’t do much on the knee, meaning it’s back to Sami who charges into a boot in the corner.

The moonsault into the reverse DDT plants Sami but Owens is back up again. This time he throws AJ out of the corner but Styles catches Sami in a hurricanrana to send him outside. AJ grabs the Calf Crusher on Owens until Sami dives in for save. Owens, with his knee fine in a hurry, misses a charge into the post but is still able to superkick AJ into the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Not exactly Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree in the Cell but not bad. Important note: Sami had pinned AJ with the Blue Thunder Bomb earlier in the week, so the move was suddenly a threat. The little things like that can go a long way.

AJ slips out of a superplex attempt and scores with the Phenomenal Forearm to Sami as Owens makes a save. Sami dives over to Owens for a tag and gets sent outside, leaving Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb to be countered into a rollup to retain AJ’s title at 15:50. The replay shows that Sami might not have actually tagged, meaning AJ pinned the wrong man.

Rating: C+. This was only going to be so good as you can only make AJ be so much of an underdog before he wins. Owens and Zayn are a great heel act but they just lost almost clean to one guy. Yeah it’s AJ Styles, but that’s not exactly the best way to present them. It doesn’t help that it’s just part of a story involving Shane McMahon as a screwy boss, but you know we’re not escaping him anymore.

Wrestlemania ad. I forgot how sick I got of that song.

Sami and Kevin complain to Shane about what happened and he really doesn’t care.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Gable and Benjamin are challenging and this is 2/3 falls. Before the match, the Usos yell a lot about this being their house and how they’re going to win in the Uso Penitentiary. Shelton shoulders Jey down to start and Jey seems rather pleased. Gable comes in but a blind tag lets Jey come in and break up Rolling Chaos Theory. The challengers take a break on the floor before a chop block takes Jimmy’s knee out.

Shelton hits one of his own and it’s time to really work the knee over with a Robinsdale Crunch into a regular leglock. Some stereo running knees to the face drop Jimmy again and the charge continues to knock Jey off the apron as a bonus. Since WWE tends to do the same things over and over, the hot tag comes through a few seconds alter, allowing Jey to speed things up and hit a big dive to the floor.

Back in and a running hip attack in the corner looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Gable is up just in time. Some rollups get two as Shelton comes back in to load up a powerbomb. Chad has to dropkick Jimmy down instead though, leaving Shelton to powerbomb Jey into Jimmy instead. A good looking moonsault to the floor drops both Usos, though it’s not exactly enough to wake the fans up.

Rating: D+. The action wasn’t bad but what in the world was the point of the 2/3 falls stipulation? This was a watchable match but it wasn’t anything more than and the fans really didn’t care. I’m not sure what they were going for here and given that the whole show went over four hours, this really could have been cut to shave off nearly twenty minutes total.

Rumble By The Numbers. That never gets old.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals here, which has hit and miss results. Rusev is in at #1 and Finn Balor is in at #2. Aiden English does Rusev’s intro to a very, very strong reaction. You knew Philadelphia would be a Rusev Day town. Rusev wastes no time in trying to dumb Balor but has to take him down for an elbow instead. The running spinwheel kick cuts Balor off again and it’s Rhyno in at #3. Makes sense in the ECW Arena and I could go for Lawler making fun of ECW forever. Rhyno starts cleaning house and it’s already time for the ECW chants. Clotheslines abound until Rusev spinwheel kicks Rhyno down as well.

Baron Corbin is in at #4 because I couldn’t even avoid him back then. Corbin cleans a bit of the house and catches a charging Rhyno with Deep Six. That’s enough to toss Rhyno but Balor dumps Corbin a few seconds later to get us back to two. Corbin isn’t cool with that and pulls Balor to the floor (not eliminated) for a whip into the barricade. Rusev takes End of Days and everyone is down. Heath Slater is in at #5 and gets dropped on the ramp to put everyone down again.

Elias, with guitar of course, is in at #6 and since everyone is down, let’s have a song! See, now this makes some sense and is a proper way to fill in some time and keep things fresh. After a kick to Slater on the way down the ramp, Elias confirms that the people do indeed want to walk with Elias. You always have to make sure of course. The song is about spitting in the face of the Rocky Statue (TOO FAR!) but the countdown clock cuts him off and it’s Andrade Cien Almas (NXT Champion with Zelina Vega) in at #7. Now that’s a nice move and having it happen the night after he won a classic match makes it even better.

Almas wastes no time in hitting the running knees in the corner but the hammerlock DDT is broken up. Bray Wyatt is in at #8 and walks rather to the ring rather quickly. Before he gets in, he beats Slater up on the floor and sends him into the barricade, meaning Slater still hasn’t gotten in yet. Balor gets up and saves Elias from Sister Abigail but gets knocked down as it’s all Wyatt. Big E. is in at #9 but first, we need to have some pancakes. A single belly to belly drops Wyatt, only to have Rusev pop up with a superkick to Big E.

Tye Dillinger somehow gets #10 again….but hang on a second as Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens jumps him from behind so Sami can take his spot (while knocking Slater down again to continue the running gag). That gives us Rusev, Balor, Slater (on the floor), Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E. and Zayn. Nothing of note happens until Sheamus is in at #11 and he even throws Slater inside….and gets clotheslined out just as fast. Sheamus’ shocked face is rather good, though the fans aren’t happy when Wyatt eliminates Slater a few seconds later. Everyone is down again until Xavier Woods is in at #12 so 2/3 of New Day can start to clean house, thereby waking the crowd up a bit.

The fans get way into the countdown as Apollo Crews is in at #13, which should kill the crowd all over again. I’m not sure why they’re so quiet here but maybe they’re waiting for the big finish instead. Again not much happens and it’s Shinsuke Nakamura at #14 to fill up the ring even more. The fans are into Nakamura as he starts cleaning house, including the running knee in the corner to get rid of Zayn for old times’ sake.

Cesaro is in at #15 and gets to clean house as the fans get behind Rusev. They’re quite fickle in Philadelphia. Kofi Kingston is in at #16 and the New Day is at full strength. Apollo nearly gorilla presses Cesaro out but gets sent to the apron himself, allowing Cesaro to uppercut him out. Jinder Mahal is in at #17 because we’re just that lucky. Woods dropkicks him into the corner but gets knocked off the top for the elimination. We didn’t even get anything from the full New Day in the whole thing?

Mahal gets rid of Big E. as well and it’s Seth Rollins in at #18 to a nice reaction. Rollins monkey flips Cesaro out as at least they’re keeping the eliminations flowing. Mahal goes to dump Kofi but Woods is still on the floor, meaning Kofi can land on him instead of the floor. Big E. offers a plate of pancakes for the other foot and a nice case of hopping lets Kofi get back in, complete with Big E. and Woods launching him back in. Trouble in Paradise eliminates Mahal and it’s time to cover him in pancakes. With the celebration rolling, Almas hits Kofi with the hammerlock DDT to get rid of Kofi.

Woken Matt Hardy is in at #19 (King: “Oh brother.”) and he goes straight for Elias with the rams into the corner. Matt and Bray get together and eliminate Rusev, much to the fans’ annoyance. That’s it for the teamwork as they slug it out and then eliminate each other to really clear the ring a bit. John Cena is in at #20, giving us Balor, Elias, Almas, Nakamura, Rollins and Cena. The other five are waiting for Cena and stomp him down, because they’re rather smart. They don’t go for the elimination though, because their intelligence is short sighted.

Cena dumps Elias (because Cena always ruins Elias’ night) and the Hurricane is in at #21, much to Cena’s shock. The Hurri-chokeslam is easily countered into an AA to get rid of Hurricane, who is shocked as well. Aiden English is in at #22 but the fans would rather argue about Cena. Adam Cole, with bad ribs, is in at #23 and you know these fans are going to like him. Balor (hey he’s still in this) eliminates English and it’s Randy Orton in at #24. Cena shrugs off an RKO attempt so Almas takes it instead and gets thrown out as the amount of entrants stays at a nice pace.

Titus O’Neil is in at #25 but no one seems worried about him. At least they know their history. Titus does actually beat up Nakamura in the corner as Cena and Orton have their contractually obligated fight until Intercontinental Champion The Miz is in at #26. That means house can be cleaned, including the YES Kicks to Rollins and Cena. A Skull Crushing Finale keeps Cena down but Rollins superkicks Miz.

Rey Mysterio makes a surprise appearance at lucky #27, marking his first appearance with the company since the night after Wrestlemania XXX. The pace gets to pick up and Cole is eliminated off a headscissors. Miz eats a 619 and it’s Roman Reigns in at #28 to tick the fans off in a bad way. Almost everyone gets a right hand until it’s a showdown with Miz, who took Reigns’ Intercontinental Title on Raw earlier in the week.

Dolph Ziggler is in at #30 (Cole: “I thought he retired or something!” This was after Ziggler vacated the US Title and walked out without ever mentioning what he was doing. And now he’s right back, apparently saying that the US Title means nothing. Anyway the final group is Balor, Nakamura, Cena, Orton, Mysterio, Reigns, Goldust and Ziggler. Cena tries an AA on Ziggler, who flips out and lands on his leg, which probably should have counted as full on impact. Goldust scores with the snap powerslam but Ziggler easily puts him out with a superkick.

Some tuning up the band takes too long though and Ziggler is knocked to the apron so Balor can knock him out. They vacated the title to give Ziggler a two minute cameo. Well done indeed. We’re down to six and that’s a CRAZY deep field, with Nakamura being the least successful in WWE. Balor takes an AA and it’s a 619 to Reigns, followed by an RKO to Nakamura (Lawler: “COVER HIM! COVER HIM! Oh wait….”).

Reigns gets up with a Superman Punch to Orton for an elimination but it’s Mysterio with a double 619 to Reigns and Cena. Balor breaks up a springboard though and Mysterio is out to leave us with four. Everyone is down in a corner until it’s Cena vs. Nakamura and Reigns vs. Balor. Nakamura and Balor are knocked down so it’s a Reigns vs. Cena showdown but nothing happens before the other two are right back up. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner rocks Balor but he gets back in, only to get kicked square in the head.

Reigns is back up for a save this time and NOW we get Reigns vs. Cena for the big showdown. The slugout goes to Reigns but Balor gets up and starts firing off Sling Blades. Kinshasa is cut off with a running double stomp from Balor, only to have Cena pop up and throw Balor out to get us down to three. A Superman Punch puts Nakamura down but he’s right back up to kick Cena to the apron. Another knee sends Cena to the floor and we’re down to Nakamura vs. Reigns. I think you know who the fans are behind here.

They slug it out in the middle and it’s a Superman Punch to put Nakamura in trouble. Nakamura is sent to the apron but comes back with a triangle choke over the ropes. That’s rather stupid, though it’s also broken up with a powerbomb. The spear is cut off by a kick to the face and the middle rope knee to the face drops Reigns. Kinshasa gets blocked by a tackle to the face (called a spear) but the second attempt works just fine. Reigns is out on his feet and Nakamura tosses him out for the win at 1:05:29.

Rating: B-. This is one where you’re going to have to think about things for a bit. First and foremost, the winner is a fine choice. Nakamura hadn’t broken through yet and this is the kind of win that can help him do that (it didn’t, but it could have). Second, the last fifteen minutes or so with the final group was great stuff and full of drama as you could see anyone winning.

The problem is everything else, which isn’t terrible but it’s also not too great. The first part barely meant anything with just Balor being there from the beginning until the end. There were a few nice surprises and it doesn’t drag terribly or anything, but you really could skip about the first half hour and not miss much. It’s a completely watchable Rumble but it’s in the middle of the pack at best.

Post match Nakamura (or Shin as Cole keeps calling him because WWE likes to make Cole sound like an idiot) picks AJ Styles for Wrestlemania to really pop the crowd. Sounds awesome to me and for the most part, it was.

Next year’s Rumble is in Phoenix.

The bosses of the show trade bragging barbs. Watching a year later, I can’t believe how stupid these look now. WWE really thinks that we care about these stupid battling brand arguments. I have no idea why, but but that’s been their narrative for years. Stephanie says that no matter who wins the Women’s Royal Rumble, everyone will be surprised. That’s some nice foreshadowing.

We look at the KFC Colonel Sanders Rumble, with Ric Flair reenacting the 1992 Royal Rumble to win the whole thing. I still think this is some fever dream that they managed to record.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins

Jordan and Rollins are defending after winning the belts on Christmas night. It’s pretty clear that Jordan is filling in for the injured Dean Ambrose and that’s not a bad thing. Rollins and Cesaro start things off with Rolling taking over off a flying mare (you don’t see that one very often). It’s off to Sheamus but a quick Cesaro distraction prevents Jordan from coming in, meaning Rollins is driven back into the corner.

An enziguri gets Rollins a breather as the crowd is eerily silent. Cesaro breaks up the hot tag attempt to Jordan and sends him into the post, leaving Rollins to hit a suicide dive on both challengers. The medics are out checking on Jordan, though that might be making sure he doesn’t fall asleep. Cesaro grabs a chinlock, which is the last thing this match could possibly need. Rollins fights up and tries the springboard but gets clotheslined down by Cesaro.

A Demolition Decapitator and a double backbreaker give the Bar two each and Rollins is in big trouble. Sheamus misses a charge into the post though, giving Rollins a breather as Jordan is STILL down. Rollins gets the Blockbuster on Cesaro, followed by the Falcon Arrow for two. Super White Noise is broken up and Jordan is finally on the apron for a tag. He immediately grabs his head though and tags himself out. That’s fine with the Bar, as the spike White Noise gets the titles back at 12:50.

Rating: D. As you probably guessed, this was Jordan’s last “match”. I know he wasn’t the most thrilling guy in the world, but he was getting the hang of things until his neck just gave out on him and there was no coming back. At least he got a nice run and there’s a very real chance that he could get back in the ring one day. It’s not exactly fair to call the match bad….but it was really quite bad and the fans were just gone in a terrible way.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network.

We recap the Universal Title match. Brock Lesnar is a monster, two other monsters are challenging for his title, Braun Strowman is really strong and broke some stuff.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending. Braun starts fast with running splashes in the corner and a running dropkick to Brock, followed by a knee to his head. Brock then UNLOADS on Strowman with right hands which look a lot like receipts from a former UFC Heavyweight Champion rather than working punches. Lesnar shouts something that sounds like SLOW DOWN as Kane gets back up. Brock grabs a chair which is knocked into his face, followed by a toss out to the floor.

Some shots with the steps put Lesnar and Kane down and it’s time for a pair of tables inside. With one set up in the corner, Strowman chokeslams Kane for two with Lesnar making the save. Three rolling German suplexes….don’t do much to Strowman, who powerslams Lesnar through a table for two. Kane shoulders Strowman through the other table in the corner but again, Strowman is right up. A German suplex sends Lesnar outside but he’s fine enough to hit an F5 to send Strowman through the announcers’ table.

With that not being enough, Lesnar turns the other announcers’ table onto Strowman, literally burying him. Another F5 sends Kane through the other announcers’ table, because we need three of them at ringside. Strowman is back up, because of course he is, and Lesnar isn’t sure what to do. Back in and Lesnar takes two powerslams, only to have Kane make the save with some chair shots to Strowman. Lesnar pops up, sends both of them into each other, and F5’s Kane onto the chair to retain at 11:00.

Rating: D. There were some good power spots in there but this match didn’t need to be on the card either. Lesnar won another match that didn’t do anything for him and then walked off with the title for two and a half months, which was the case for FAR too long. I get the idea of keeping Strowman warm but they’re taking way too long to get anywhere.

We recap the Women’s Royal Rumble. Stephanie McMahon announced that we needed one and everyone nodded along because that’s how WWE works.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Maria Menunos is guest ring announcer and Stephanie is on commentary. As she comes to the ring, the announcers are all over themselves to suck up to her, with lines like “she’s a trailblazer but would never admit it”. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte (reigning Women’s Champions) are sitting at ringside. Sasha Banks is in at #1 and pre-Man Becky Lynch is in at #2 for a feeling out process to start. Neither can grab a submission hold and it’s a double clothesline, allowing Sarah Logan to come in at #3 and pick the bones.

She goes after Becky first but stops to point at the sign, meaning Becky is staying in. A headbutt drops Banks so everyone stands around until it’s Mandy Rose in at #4. The near eliminations abound as Stephanie gets into full on “person having an unnatural conversation” mode with Corey, making her rather annoying in her own right. Lita is in at #5 (in a #timesup shirt) to really fire the fans up for the first time in awhile.

Sasha and Becky stare her down and we get the slugout, which is rather cool when you consider how much of an inspiration she and Trish Stratus were on the current generation. Stephanie talks about how she and Lita were close over the years….and actually mentions CHYNA, which I didn’t think was allowed. Well I guess it’s cool if you’re Stephanie. Mandy is sent to the apron and hits a knee to Lita, who eliminates her without much effort. Kairi Sane is in at #6 and it’s a double spear to Lynch and Banks.

The Insane Elbow hits Banks and there’s one to Becky as Tamina (all in white for some reason) is in at #7. Lita drops her with a DDT because Tamina isn’t very good, setting up Twists of Fate to Lynch and Banks. There’s the moonsault to both of them and Lita throws Tamina out. Becky gets rid of Lita a few seconds later and it’s Dana Brooke in at #8. She goes straight for Sane in the corner….and actually eliminates her in a pretty big upset. Torrie Wilson is in at #9 and we now have to pretend that she was anything more than eye candy because she wrestled fifteen years ago.

Logan dropkicks her down as a TORRIE WILSON chant begins. A backdrop and dropkick to the knee get rid of Dana and it’s Sonya Deville in at #10. That means a kick to the ribs to get rid of Torrie (yes she looked great, and that’s about the extent of her value here). Liv Morgan is in at #11 and we hear about how much she idolized Lita. That likely applies to almost everyone in the match, which is rather cool given that Lita was in the match.

Things settle down again and it’s Molly Holly in at #12 to a rather big reaction. She dumps Logan with ease and there’s the Molly Go Round to Banks. They both fall to the floor (not out) and it’s Lana in at #13. These people are just coming and going at this point with very little other than nostalgia holding things together. Lana takes Liv down with a rather impressive spear and it’s Michelle McCool in at #14.

The fans immediately chant for the Undertaker as Michelle dumps Sonya. Morgan is out as well and Michelle gets rid of Molly with ease. Lana gets back up and is dumped just as well. Becky and Sasha double team Michelle to little avail as Ruby Riott is in at #15. No one can get anywhere and it’s Vickie Guerrero (the obvious comedy spot) in at #16. A bunch of EXCUSE ME’s earn her an elimination and it’s Carmella in at #17, but Vickie blasts her with the Money in the Bank briefcase to leave her laying on the floor.

Natalya is in at #18 (Stephanie: “Here she comes.” Natalya gets “here she comes”?) but Carmella decks her on the floor before it’s time to start the strutting. The Bexploder puts her down though and everyone is on the mat for a breather. Kelly Kelly is in at #19 and opts for some kicks in the corner as Natalya eliminates Michelle.

It’s Naomi in at #20, giving us Sasha, Becky, Riott, Carmella, Natalya, Kelly Kelly and Naomi. A bunch of Rear Views clean house and a kick to the head drops Banks. Sasha gets sent outside (not out, again) but Becky doesn’t have the same luck as Riott gets rid of her. Jacqueline is in at #21 and goes after Kelly as very little is going on at the moment. Nia Jax is in at #22 and gets rid of Kelly and Jacqueline without much effort. Riott gets tossed as well so Naomi fires off kicks. Jax throws her onto the big pile but Naomi lands on the barricade.

As she tries to figure it out, the injured Ember Moon is in at #23 and slugs away with one arm. Naomi walks the barricade and gets to the timekeeper’s area where she steals Menunos’ chair to crawl over to the steps for the improbable save. Back in….and Nia dumps her with ease. With everyone else on the floor, Beth Phoenix is in at # 24 and it’s time for a showdown.

Beth avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get her up in the fireman’s carry. Another attempt works to a big reaction as Natalya gets back in. They can’t get rid of Nia as they knock her to the floor (enough already) instead. Natalya quickly turns on Beth and throws her out as Carmella comes back in. Having this many women on the floor is ridiculous as you can’t remember who is still in.

Asuka is in at #25 to strike away, setting up the big reunion fight with Ember. Moon is fine enough for a one armed Eclipse but Asuka throws her out a few seconds later. So much for that. Mickie James is in at #26 and grabs a neckbreaker on Natalya. A bunch of near eliminations go nowhere and it’s Nikki Bella in at lucky #27, to a strong pop because we live in a random and chaotic universe. There’s a springboard kick to the face to put Banks down and it’s a spear to Natalya. Nikki throws Carmella out but everyone jumps onto the superwoman known as Nikki until Brie Bella comes out of retirement to come in at #28.

That means it’s time for the YES chants and some horrible running knees. The Bellas get their big moment (because they haven’t had one in a few minutes) and Nia is knocked to the floor (say it with me: without being eliminated). Bayley is in at #29 and gets to clean house until Asuka kicks her in the head. Trish Stratus is in at #30, which is quite the moment, though it was always going to be her or Rousey. That gives us a final grouping of Banks, Natalya, Jax, Asuka, James, Nikki, Brie, Bayley and Trish.

After tackling Natalya, we get the Trish vs. Bellas showdown which I think only WWE believes matters. A double Stratusfaction drops the Bellas and it’s time for a real showdown with Trish vs. Mickie. The Stratusphere is blocked so Trish kicks her in the head for the elimination. Nia gets back in so the big beatdown is on with a couple of kicks sending her to the ropes. Everyone gets together for the elimination in a good moment. Sasha dumps Bayley in a bit of a stab in the back and it’s Natalya grabbing a Sharpshooter on Trish.

That’s broken up because it’s a worthless move here, allowing Trish to kick Natalya out to get us to five. Banks goes after Trish, who kicks her in the ribs and does Sasha’s dance (that works). That’s fine with Banks, who kicks Trish out but turns into Asuka. They decide to go for the Bellas but it winds up being all three going after Asuka in a smart move. Banks says she’s ready for Asuka and loads up the double knees in the corner, only to have the Bellas turn on her.

That leaves Asuka and the Bellas (plus probably fourteen women on the floor as you never can tell) with the former firing off kicks to both of them. Brie gets sent to the apron but Nikki cuts Asuka off with the Rack Attack 2.0. A forearm knocks Brie out though as the sisters fight again. Asuka hits the missile dropkick on Nikki but she’s right back with a kick to the face. They both wind up on the apron with Asuka kicking the leg out (barely) for the win at 58:57.

Rating: B-. I remember being confused about what to think of this one last year and that’s the case again here. The legends needed to be there to flesh out the match and while there were some other options (NXT), I can go with this for the sake of history. This was designed to be more of a history of women’s wrestling over the years and there’s nothing wrong with that. They did a great job of making me want to see who was next as it was a nice mixture of all those generations. Having the nice mixture worked well and the right person won, so it’s hard to complain all that much. Stephanie was fine, though rather unnecessary.

Post match Charlotte and Alexa get in the ring to hold up the titles….and here’s Ronda Rousey to a huge reaction because she’s a star that was rumored to be in Columbia for this show. We get the most awkward sign pointing of all time (there’s an art to it) but Asuka won’t shake her hand. A bunch of staring and then high fiving fans, plus a handshake with Stephanie ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t a very good show, but the two namesake matches delivered well enough and only the Universal Title match was really bad. The big story here was Ronda of course and that delivered (awkward pointing aside) so it’s hard to really call this anything but pretty good. The wrestling wasn’t great overall and, again, the show was way too long but the important stuff worked well and that’s how you get a nice show.

Ratings Comparison

Lucha House Party vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C

Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs. Revival

Original: C

Redo: C

Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Original: D

Redo: D+

Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: C+

Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: B-

Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan vs. The Bar

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Original: B-

Redo: D

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: C+

I don’t remember the last time I was that far off on so many matches. I mean….dang man.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/28/royal-rumble-2018-i-had-fun-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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