Monday Night Raw
Date: May 1, 2017
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

We’re past Payback and that means things can finally start settling down around here. The big story continues to be Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman with Strowman beating the injured Reigns clean last night. Extreme Rules is in just over a month and an ambulance match would seem to be the next logical step. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The women’s division is in the ring with a pedestal in the middle and here’s Alexa Bliss for her coronation as the new champion. Bliss thanks everyone for being here tonight, even if Kurt Angle forced them to be here. The Queen is gone is gone but not to worry because the Goddess is here. These women are an inspiration, including Mickie James, despite her contemporaries Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah having moved on to a better place.

As for Sasha, she’s the woman that Alexa beat to get where she is today. Sasha glares at her and Bliss backs into Nia. Bliss: “We’re good. We’re good.” Alexa gets on the pedestal and laughs at Bayley for losing in front of all her family last night. At least now Bayley’s nephews will have someone to look up to. The brawl starts in a hurry and we take a break.

Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma/Alicia Fox vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke/Mickie James

Alexa hides from Bayley to start so it’s Emma forearming Bayley in the back instead. Mickie comes in and starts on the arm before it’s off to Alicia vs. Dana with Brooke scoring off a running cartwheel splash. Bayley works on Alicia’s arm as they’re tagging in and out at a very fast pace.

Fox sends Banks outside and it’s a big staredown on the floor. Back with Nia throwing Sasha around and dropping an elbow for two. Bliss comes back in for some boot choking but Sasha avoids a charge. The hot tag brings in Bayley to take Alexa down and send her into the buckle ten straight times. Everything breaks down with everyone brawling to the floor, leaving Bliss to rake Bayley’s eyes, setting up a DDT for the pin at 14:03.

Rating: C-. There’s only so much you can do when you have eight people in there at the same time. With so many people floating around, especially people who don’t have anything to do at the moment, you’re not going to be able to really showcase anything other than a single feud. Bliss pinning Bayley is a good idea and I’m really glad they didn’t go with the lame idea of the champion losing her first match after winning the title.

Enzo Amore vs. Luke Gallows

Enzo says they have bags underneath their eyes (they’re Gucci) because their real life is better than their dreams. Anderson and Gallows jump them from behind though and we take a break before the bell. The match is joined in progress with Gallows working on the arm. Enzo avoids a charge in the corner though and scores with some kicks to the face, only to uppercut Amore’s head off. Another shot staggers Gallows and Amore goes up, only to have Anderson offer a distraction. The flapjack gives Luke the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D. I am so bored with this feud as I can’t even remember why they’re fighting in the first place. Enzo and Cass aren’t exactly the most thrilling team in the world at this point and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. The Enzo schtick is starting to get old in a hurry as we have to wait a few minutes so he can say the exact same thing every single week. Then again the fans still react to it so at least it does serve a purpose, unlike this feud that doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to end.

Neville tells TJ Perkins to stay focused.

Here’s Seth Rollins to talk about how he’s persevered through everything and is doing everything he’s wanted to do. Now though, he wants the Beast. Cue Finn Balor to say while Rollins has done a lot, he’s the one armed man who became the first ever Universal Champion. Remember that Seth?

Dean Ambrose comes out to say he wants part of the fight but here’s Miz to say he’s awesome and Balor is a coward. Miz talks about being a threat until all three tell him to shut up at the same time. Dean asks who wants to see someone beat up the Miz and pulls out his phone to call Kurt. With the call over, Dean says Kurt has made Miz vs. Balor vs. Rollins with the winner getting an Intercontinental Title match.

We look back at last night’s main event.

Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar vs. Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher

The good guys all have umbrellas for their entrances. Tozawa kicks Kendrick in the face to start but Nese runs him over without much effort. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the villains are sent outside, leaving everyone else to pose. Back with Tozawa in trouble at the hands of all three heels.

Tozawa finally gets in a kick and makes the hot tag off to Swann. Rich speeds things way up and hits a running flip ax kick (Booker: “Like a Harlem Hangover!”) followed by a running 450. Everything breaks down with Gallagher and Kendrick being left alone in the ring. The Captain’s Hook is broken up and Jack hits the running dropkick for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: C+. This got MUCH better after the commercial and made me less annoyed after thinking it was the old “throw them into one match” concept. At this point 205 Live needs something to be built up other than the main event so having six guys go out there looking good is one of the best things that can be done.

We look back at Sheamus and Cesaro turning heel last night.

Here are Sheamus (who Graves correctly identifies as looking like Travis Bickle) and Cesaro for their explanation. Sheamus is tired of living in a fog where he had to pretend to like the fans. They were ready to take their titles back at Wrestlemania but then the Hardys were thrown in for the nostalgia reaction.

That moment didn’t last long though because it was just a novelty. Now they’re ready to dominate again, as only they can. Cesaro and Sheamus go to leave but here are the Hardys to cut them off. Matt talks about being banged up from last night’s post match ambush but their response is DELETE. The champs chase them off.

Miz is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back but Ambrose comes in to ask if Miz’s hair gel gets in his eyes when he wrestles. Miz leaves so “Mean” Dean Ambrose throws it back to Bobby and Gene at ringside.

Heath Slater vs. Apollo Crews

This is over Titus being annoyed that Slater gave Crews advice on being a new father. Crews takes him to the mat to start and Slater is already in over his head. A headscissors doesn’t get Heath anywhere as Crews nips up for a staredown. Crews misses a charge in the corner though and we get a Titus vs. Rhyno staredown (Perhaps over Main Event issues from last week? I know you know what I’m talking about.). Back in and Crews hits an enziguri, followed by the Toss Powerbomb for the pin at 3:46.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect from these two and that’s not a good thing. I know Titus seems like a death sentence for Crews but you have to go somewhere with him so it’s not like he has anywhere to go but up. Not a good match or anything but it’s getting Crews on TV, which is a good thing for him.

Here’s Angle to talk about Reigns vs. Strowman. Last night’s matches had consequences with Reigns re-injuring his ribs and Strowman tearing his rotator cuff. Kurt has been thinking about this all day but here’s Bray Wyatt to interrupt. Bray is here as a savior after rising from his own ashes with burnt wings. Angle says this is his ring but Bray says it’s his world.

Dean interviews Rollins because there are cameras in the locker room and therefore there must be an interview. After listing off some potential names, Dean asks if Rollins would like an Intercontinental Title shot. Tensions are teased but Dean throws it back to Gorilla before it goes too far.

Austin Aries vs. TJ Perkins

They trade shots in the corner to start until Aries hits one heck of a shot to the jaw. Perkins comes right back by tying him in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick to the knee to put Aries in trouble. Back from a break with Perkins putting on a butterfly lock, followed by a springboard spinning forearm for two. Aries’ knee is too banged up to be thrown across the ring and his shoulder hits the post to make it even worse.

TJ doesn’t even let him fall down before he grabs a half crab in the ropes. Aries comes right back though by kicking TJ to the floor for the suicide dive. The middle rope elbow to the back gets two but the knee gives out again. TJ tries the Detonation Kick, only to have Aries reverse into the Last Chancery for the tap at 11:20.

Rating: B-. The wrestling was good but the important thing was building up the Last Chancery as a potential finisher. If you’re just going to have Aries use the move over and over, at some point it has to actually beat someone. Even if he only wins one or two matches with it, the idea is that he can do it again, which makes it an effective finisher.

Post match Perkins puts Aries in the kneebar to leave him laying.

Ambrose interviews Balor and suggests eating a carb. Balor takes a bite of a doughnut before heading to the ring but is replaced by the Drifter, who seems to confuse Ambrose.

Golden Truth’s request for a Tag Team Title shot is turned down as they don’t have the best win/loss record. Angle will however put them in a Tag Team Turmoil match next week, which seems to work fine.

Last night, Angle said goodbye to Chris Jericho after he won the US Title, sending him to Smackdown.

Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

The winner is #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title. Miz heads to the floor like the coward he is so it’s Balor vs. Rollins to start. Neither of them seem that interested in fighting though as they keep looking at Miz before finally heading out after him. He finally gets caught and tries to fight, only to be kicked out to the floor.

We get Rollins vs. Balor again but Miz pulls Finn to the floor and hides Maryse so Seth can’t hit a dive. All three get back inside, only to have Miz shoves Seth off the top for a big crash as we take a break. Back with Balor elbowing out of Miz’s chinlock until Rollins tries a high crossbody but lands on his head. Thankfully he’s right back up but Miz sends him into Balor to put Finn down on the floor.

Both good guys take kicks to the chest until Finn throws Miz at Rollins for a DDT but dropkicks Seth down at the same time. They head outside with Balor hitting some HARD kicks to the face (Graves: “Who knew that in twenty four hours the Irish would revolutionize dentistry?), followed by 1916 for a near fall on Rollins. Balor gets crotched against the post and Miz’s low DDT gets two on Seth. Miz starts kicking at the bad knee to set up the Figure Four on Rollins but Balor makes the save.

They trade kicks to the face with Seth getting a near fall of his own. A double Blockbuster sets up a frog splash on Balor and Seth can’t believe the kickout. Rollins runs the corner for the superplex into the Falcon Arrow on Miz but here’s Samoa Joe to Rock Bottom him on the floor. Not that it matters as Balor is up with the Sling Blade and Coup de Grace…..but here’s Wyatt to shove him off the top. Sister Abigail lays Finn out and Miz steals the pin at 22:25.

Rating: A-. Now that’s how you book a match. With the World Title scene basically on hold until July, this set up the Intercontinental Title as a much bigger deal that three former World Champions are fighting over. It also helps set up Balor vs. Wyatt and Rollins vs. Joe, which should be two major headlining feuds over the next few weeks until Reigns and Strowman are back.

Overall Rating: C. This show suffered from two problems. First of all is the lack of anything on top as the champion is gone and the two main eventers are both out selling injuries. While that’s a good idea and necessary, it makes for a very, very long night. It’s not helping when this is the night after a pay per view, which automatically makes things feel long. We’re looking at seven plus hours of wrestling in two days and that’s a bit much to take. Couple that with a show where they were clearly filling in a lot of time and it’s still good enough but it felt like it went on for about four days.

Results

Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Dana Brooke/Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James – DDT to Bayley

Luke Gallows b. Enzo Amore – Flapjack

Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher b. Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar – Running dropkick to Kendrick

Apollo Crews b. Heath Slater – Toss Powerbomb

Austin Aries b. TJ Perkins – Last Chancery

Miz b. Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – Pin after Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I’ve seen every pay per view WWE has ever produced and this is one of the most worthless they’ve ever put on. The Superstar Shakeup has changed the entire company and that means we have a bunch of pointless matches due to either the title not being on the line, people potentially switching shows and feuds that already have their followups started. Let’s get to it.

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Normally I do the Kickoff Show match first but I’m going with this just so we can get it out of the way and forget about it. Remember back in 2000 when Mike Awesome defended the ECW World Title against Tazz and it was a WCW wrestler facing a WWF wrestler at an ECW show? That might be less complicated than what we have here. Here we have the Smackdown World Champion facing off against a “Monday Night Raw” wrestler who had no chance of winning the belt back at first and now that this is non-title, the odds are even lower.

The winner here? The audience, as this feud is going to be OVER, meaning we can move on to…..Jinder Mahal. Three months ago AJ Styles and John Cena were tearing the house down over this title and now we have Wyatt looking like the weakest champion in years, Orton drawing reactions of “Him AGAIN?” and Mahal wondering what kind of a saint he was in a past life to be in this spot. I’ll go with Orton winning here, presumably by being the first person to figure out what a House of Horrors match is.

Kickoff Show: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

These teams are somehow still feuding for reasons that I have no idea how to comprehend. There’s really not much of a reason for them to be fighting anymore so here they are on pay per view. This is a feud where they started fighting at one point and are still fighting because that’s all WWE knows how to do.

I’ll go with Anderson and Gallows here, as WWE doesn’t seem to like Amore and Cass winning. Then again they don’t like Anderson and Gallows winning either, but the Hardys are likely going to need some more challengers going forward and the big balds have only lost to the champs once so far. This match really does belong on the Kickoff Show and it’s very clear that there isn’t much of a reason to have it other than Amore warming the crowd up.

Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss

This is a natural feud with Bliss looking down on everyone that she’s in the ring with and Bayley as the hometown girl who is living the dream. The question here is how important the hometown aspect is going to be. Earlier this month Naomi won the Smackdown Women’s Title at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” seemingly on the strength of being from Orlando, Florida. The show is in Bayley’s hometown so the question is will they let the hometown girl win twice.

I think they will as it seems that the big match on the horizon is Bayley defending against Sasha Banks in a battle of (former by then) best friends. As good as Bliss is (and she’s awesome), there’s some real money in Bayley holding the title for several months before losing it to Banks in a big showdown. Bliss will have her day and she’s still rolling on the momentum that came with her two Smackdown Women’s Titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

They had the Match of the Night at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” and it’s not out of the question for them to do it again. These two have an amazing chemistry together and they’re going with a different story this time around. In Orlando it was all about Aries being able to hang with and potentially beat Neville, but the last few weeks have been a much more personal feud built on Neville attacking Aries and the hunt for revenge.

This time around though, I think they’ll switch the title. Neville hasn’t lost a singles match since October and the company has been mentioning that far too often as of late. That suggests to me that they’re about to have him lose, which is going to be a huge moment for Aries. He’s been treated as the biggest star in the division save for Neville and it’s time to bring him all the way to the top.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Now we hit the first match with next to no drama. It also doesn’t help that these two have barely interacted since “Wrestlemania XXXIII” due to the Superstar Shakeup sending Owens over to “Smackdown Live”. These two had one of the hottest feuds in the company just a month ago and now it’s nothing more than something that exists. Owens has completely moved on and is already looking at a title defense against AJ Styles later in the month.

Of course I’m going with Owens as Jericho is already booked to head off with Fozzy again almost immediately. Barring a last minute switch to Jericho and then dropping it back to Owens two days later, there’s no reason to believe that Owens is dropping the title here. This match feels like filler and that’s a real shame given how much effort they put into the build to its predecessor.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

While Jericho vs. Owens feels like it has no steam because of a lack of build, this one feels like it has no steam because it was never anything special in the first place. The Hardys made their huge return earlier this month and….that’s about it. Without the Broken characters they’re really just a nostalgic act and that’s not the most thrilling idea in the world, at least not for too long.

That being said, I’m certainly taking the Hardys to retain here. As much steam as they’ve lost, Sheamus and Cesaro have all the steam of a frozen lasagna. The only way I can see them winning here is through a good bit of cheating which would send Matt Hardy over the edge to set up a certain gimmick change to set the promotion on as much fire as it could possibly reach in the current environment.

Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe

This is the Match of the Night if they’re allowed to let it all hang out. I’d assume this match was scheduled for “Fastlane 2017” before Rollins got hurt (though I’m not sure he actually was, especially given how fast he’s gone from nearly crippled to just fine) and now it’s going to feel a bit bigger as Rollins actually got a big rub off his win over Triple H. Then again Samoa Joe has been on fire since his main roster debut and there’s a real chance he could get the biggest win of his career here.

I think I’ll go with Samoa Joe, likely thanks to some interference by a returning Triple H. Why would he return? Well that would be because STEPHANIE MCMAHON MUST BE AVENGED and that means the feud must continue for the next three months or so. So yeah, Rollins is about to win with the Rainmaker knee but Triple H interferes to give Samoa Joe the win, setting up a rematch at whatever the next “Monday Night Raw” pay per view is.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

The last two weeks have made this interesting as WWE has decided that the way to follow up on Strowman’s amazing destruction of Reigns is to have him go 0-1-1 against Big Show and Kalisto. There was no way Reigns should have been on TV in the last two weeks and thankfully they’ve kept him away from TV, though I’m more amazed that him RETIRING THE UNDERTAKER has been forgotten a mere four weeks later.

I’ll take Strowman as he seems to be the challenger at “Great Balls of Fire 2017” and…stop laughing at the pay per view name. Anyway, Strowman seems to be the next challenger for Lesnar because we need to wait for a year to set up Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar and that would suggest starting with a major loss here.

Overall……I think you get the idea. I have no idea why they didn’t do the Superstar Shakeup this coming week for the sake of avoiding all of the messes that have come from the whole thing happening eight days after “Wrestlemania XXXIII”. Almost none of the matches on this show mean anything as we’re already setting up everything for later, making this show all the less important. I’m going to have enough issues staying awake during this show, let alone actually making sense of it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 17, 2017
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

Just in case we haven’t had enough going on of late, this is kind of a relaunch for Raw as we have a fresh roster at full strength for the first time. In addition to all the new names, the interesting question is will Roman Reigns be here. After Braun Strowman basically killed him last week, it should be interesting to see if he’ll be here tonight. If so, WWE is missing a major opportunity. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Strowman destroying Reigns last week, turning himself into the biggest unintentional face on the roster as a result.

Here’s Strowman to open things up. Strowman is proud of the beating he gave Roman last week, which saw Reigns have a separated shoulder and cracked ribs. Reigns will NOT be here tonight and that earns one heck of a YES chant. Strowman says he’s ready to tear through the locker room but here’s General Manager Kurt Angle to interrupt. The boss gets right to the point and makes Strowman vs. Reigns for Payback. As for tonight, Strowman has the night off but Braun wants more competition. That sounds like a threat.

Samoa Joe vs. Chris Jericho

Seth Rollins, who faces Joe at Payback, is on commentary. Joe goes right after Jericho to start but gets dropkicked out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Joe in control and hitting his chop to the shoulder blades. We hit the nerve hold for a bit, followed by the scoop powerslam for two. The crowd sounds rather energized tonight, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the lack of Reigns and Stephanie tonight.

Joe misses a middle rope backsplash (though his leg landed on the back of Jericho’s head), allowing Chris to grab the Walls. That doesn’t last long though as Jericho escapes and grabs the Koquina Clutch. Jericho tries the Bret Hart/Roddy Piper counter but Joe turns over and keeps the hold for the tap out at 9:08.

Rating: C+. They’re making Joe out to be a killer and that’s a great sign for his future. The fact that he just beat Jericho clean by submission shows that there’s something to him and WWE knows it. I’d love to see Joe vs. Lesnar way down the line and they’ve built him as the kind of guy who could give him a run for his money.

Post match Joe says he remembers the night he debuts and the noise the fans made. Joe worked for HHH and since he cares about his clients, he’ll take care of Seth at Payback. Seth says of course it was personal and Joe is going to learn that Payback is a b****.

Anderson and Gallows are on the way to the ring when they pass by the Drifter playing his guitar. They’ll be facing Golden Truth tonight but Strowman runs Golden Truth over and beats the heck out of them.

Strowman won’t leave.

Anderson and Gallows are in the ring with Anderson saying Golden Truth just got the United Airlines treatment. They came here for a fight so get someone out here.

Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

After Enzo calls this the realest night of the week, Cass hammers on Anderson with a right hand to the ribs putting Karl down. Cass keeps things up by throwing Enzo at both bald guys as we take a break. Back with Enzo in trouble (some things never change), including a DDT on the arm and an armbar from Gallows. A spinebuster makes things even worse but Enzo comes off the middle rope with the jumping DDT.

Cass comes in and cleans house with the usual, including a big boot to knock Gallows outside. It takes Cass outside as well though, leaving Enzo to try another jumping DDT. Anderson is ready this time though and catches him in midair before throwing him knees first at the top rope. That’s some rather unique offense but it’s enough to put Enzo away at 10:48.

Rating: C-. Well Anderson and Gallows certainly needed the win, especially with Wilder (and presumably the Revival as a whole) on the shelf for a few months. The match was good enough though that ending was a big odd. You would expect Anderson to use that as a setup for the finish but it got the pin so it doesn’t make a huge difference.

Video on Mickie James.

Video on Nia Jax.

Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Miz starts talking about the Superstar Shakeup but gets cut off by Dean Ambrose, the scheduled guest, before he can get very far. Ambrose sucks up to the Ohio crowd before ripping on Miz’s gear. Miz doesn’t want to hear it because he’s done everything he can to make the people in that locker room look like superstars while Ambrose makes them look like regular wrestlers.

It doesn’t matter though because people love Ambrose, who was #1 pick in the Draft and was WWE Champion at Summerslam. Then Dean wasted all that momentum when he was on the Kickoff Show six months later. Ambrose doesn’t care what he looks like because he loves coming out here in front of twenty people or a hundred thousand.

That’s why he’s the Intercontinental Champion, which he beat Miz for in the first place. Maryse says the title doesn’t make the man so Dean asks her to hold the mic. As Miz goes on another rant, Dean empties his pockets and takes his jacket off before hammering Miz down. Dirty Deeds doesn’t work though and Miz and Maryse run.

Strowman drags Kalisto through the back and throws him in a trashcan. Big Show runs Strowman over and says pick on someone your own size.

TJ Perkins vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville comes out to watch in what is billed as a special appearance. This brings out Austin Aries for “an even more special appearance”. They trade wristlocks to start with Gallagher taking him to the mat and cranking on both arms at the same time. Perkins does a bit of dabbing but can’t handle the fact that Gallagher pops up. William III is sent to the floor to Gallagher’s dismay but he misses a charge to the floor for a heck of a crash.

Back from a break with Gallagher flipping out of a suplex and grabbing a t-bone suplex of his own. The headbutt sends Perkins outside but it allows Jack to reclaim his trusty umbrella. That means the Mary Poppins dive but Perkins throws Gallagher into Aries. Austin is about to go inside, only to have Neville break it up. The distraction lets TJ kick the rope into Gallagher, setting up the Detonation Kick for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. This is what 205 Live had needed to do for months now: build up some other stop stars aside from just the champion and his #1 contender. Odds are this sets up a tag match, which should be rather entertaining if it’s given enough time to go somewhere. I liked this match more than I was expecting to and I’m glad they’re giving Perkins more of a push.

Titus O’Neil congratulates Apollo Crews on his impending fatherhood but Titus wants to know how Apollo is going to make an impact. The best idea Titus has is joining the Titus Brand. Maybe Crews could get into travel with the Apollo Cruise where they’ll dance to Apollo Blues. If that goes badly, they can go to the new law firm: Apollo Sues. Titus gives him a card but Crews doesn’t seem convinced.

The Hardys are glad to be back and look forward to working with the new talent. Sheamus and Cesaro come up to talk about how much they respect the Hardys but it’ll be an honor to win the titles from such legends.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

Winner gets Bayley at Payback. Nia cleans house to start but Bliss bails to the floor, allowing Mickie and Sasha to dropkick Nia outside. Sasha gets the better of it and sends Mickie outside for a dive onto all three as we take a break. Back with Alexa in control until she charges into a slam from Nia.

Jax slams all three on top of each other before swinging Mickie around in a cobra clutch. It’s off to a bearhug on Banks with Nia easily suplexing her way out of Sasha’s guillotine counter. Mickie armbars her way out of a choke but Nia throws her at Sasha in the corner. Alexa goes up top to try a dropkick but thinks twice when Nia stares her down. A missed charge sends Nia into the post, allowing everyone else to hammer on each other.

The double knees in the corner get two on Bliss with Nia making the save. Mickie gets pulled outside as well and it’s down to Sasha vs. Alexa. James has to break up a Bank Statement but here’s Nia to knock Mickie off the top. The Samoan drop plants Banks but Bliss runs in for the 13:44.

Rating: C+. The time brings this one down a bit though it was a lot of fun until the end. Bliss winning, especially in her hometown, is a nice touch though they need to stop having Jax get THIS close, only to slip up after dominating everything in sight. It’s the right call though as Banks vs. Bayley is still going to be a major showdown one day in the future.

Show says he’ll beat up Strowman.

Finn Balor vs. Curt Hawkins

Coup de Grace finishes Hawkins in 36 seconds. Balor isn’t even sweating.

Chris Jericho can’t stop thinking about his rematch with Kevin Owens and thinks America deserves a better face. If he wins the title back he heads to Smackdown, but it doesn’t matter if it’s Smackdown, Velocity, Sunday Night Heat or Nitro: the Friends of Jericho will follow him anywhere. Chris: “You hear them Tom?” Mike Rome: “It’s Mike, Chris.” We get the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck routine as Mike forgets his own name. Chris: “You know what happens when you don’t know your own name?” Elias Samson wanders up and plays his guitar so Jericho lets Mike/Tom off the list and puts Samson on instead.

Bray Wyatt asks what we’re afraid of. Maybe the unknown? The dark? Or the monster underneath our bed. Fear lives in his house and we hear about how much Bray wants to hear Randy Orton scream. I love Bray but these things are getting really tiresome as there’s no reason to believe he has a chance of winning and he’ll just keep plugging along like the loss means nothing.

Alicia Fox and Dana Brooke are watching clips from 205 Live when Emma comes up to say Dana was laughing at Alicia getting powder thrown in her face all week long. Fox doesn’t want to be Dana’s friend anymore. Dana calls Emma out for lying but Emma says that’s what she gets for standing on her own two feet.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro

Cesaro takes him down to start but gets sent to the floor for a clothesline from the apron. Jeff seems to be banged up on the floor and gets caught with the running uppercut. Back from a break with Cesaro getting two and having his chinlock broken in a hurry. Jeff’s knee seems to be fine but Cesaro nails him with the springboard corkscrew elbow for two.

Jeff fights up and gets the same off the Whisper in the Wind, followed by the Twisting Stunner, which isn’t the Twist of Fate but you can’t expect the announcers to be able to really call the moves properly. I mean, it might run them afoul of JBL and that just sounds scary. Anyway, the Swanton is good for the pin at 13:01.

Rating: C. They billed this as a dream match which is quite the stretch, though I do appreciate WWE treating Jeff like a legend. I know it’s been nearly ten years but Jeff is a former three time World Champion. You have to treat someone like that as something special and it’s a good sign that WWE is doing just that.

Golden Truth and Kalisto are injured but here are Heath Slater and Rhyno, the latter of whom is eating cheese whiz and crackers. Slater is VERY excited about being back on Raw but they both hide when Strowman comes by. Rhyno even dropped his crackers!

Big Show vs. Braun Strowman

The brawl starts in the aisle with Strowman tossing him into the barricade. Show sends him into it as well and we actually start the match. A baseball slide of all things puts Strowman on the floor but he comes back with a running dropkick of his own. Strowman gets in a suplex and drops an elbow as they’re moving in very slow motion here.

Show escapes the powerslam and hits a splash in the corner. The chokeslam gets two and Strowman’s powerslam is good for the same. Braun gets crotched on top but knocks Show away, only to dive into the KO Punch for two. With nothing else working, Show goes up top but gets superplexed down……and they break the ring for the no contest 12:36.

Rating: D. Nope. I know the ring breaking spot is going to get a lot of attention but this COMPLETELY missed the point of the match and did nothing to push Strowman. You know who looked good here? Show, who hung move for move with a guy who TURNED OVER AN AMBULANCE LAST WEEK.

We’ve already established that Strowman, who didn’t even win here, can beat Show and be the bigger monster but that wasn’t even shown here. No, what we saw was Big Show getting to prove that he’s on equal footing with Strowman, which doesn’t make Strowman look unique. That makes Strowman look like he has an equal, which completely misses the point.

Strowman gets up and poses, which I guess is WWE’s version of a follow up, to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a bit of a rough one as they certainly did a lot of stuff but the Strowman stuff felt really bad. Beating up Kalisto and Golden Truth and then going to a draw with Big Show doesn’t exactly make me think he can beat Reigns or Brock Lesnar (the guy that regularly destroys Show).

The wrestling wasn’t great but the show definitely felt like it was moving around at a faster pace, which is an upgrade over some weeks. There’s good stuff to be seen here, but Payback is really holding things up. You have one of the new Raw guys being stuck waiting to face the Smackdown Champion in a match he has almost no chance of winning and Jericho teasing going to Smackdown while losing to Joe.

There’s enough stuff on here to make me look forward to the pay per view but I’m not wild on some of the directions. Strowman’s booking made my head hurt and Hardy vs. Cesaro wasn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I like Bliss getting the title shot and Joe being treated like a monster. Overall though, Strowman was the focus here and that REALLY bombed, but at least Big Show looks like an equal to the unstoppable monster.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Chris Jericho – Koquina Clutch

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Anderson threw Amore knees first into the corner

TJ Perkins b. Jack Gallagher – Devastation Kick

Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax, Mickie James and Sasha Banks – Samoan Drop to James

Finn Balor b. Curt Hawkins – Coup de Grace
Jeff Hardy b. Cesaro – Swanton Bomb

Big Show vs. Braun Strowman went to a no contest when the ring broke

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Main Event
Date: April 13, 2017
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

I’ve spent months asking for some kind of a shakeup around here and now that the rosters have been tossed around, WWE might actually have to offer us something fresh around here. It should be interesting to see who replaces Jinder Mahal, who was one of the Main Event regulars. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Big Cass vs. Titus O’Neil

Please don’t let Titus be the new guy. Enzo does a big entrance, talking about how he and Cass came here from New Jersey by way of some New York roads. Titus goes straight for him and gets tossed to the floor off a fall away slam. A right hand staggers Enzo and Titus follows up with some running splashes in the corner. We’re already in the chinlock before Cass pops up, hits the Empire Elbow and kicks Titus in the face for the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but it was a really smart idea to have Enzo and Cass out there to start the night. The fans are going to go nuts for them every week but putting them out there in front of their hometown crowd is the best thing they could have done. Cass getting a singles win is nice too as that’s probably his future.

First Raw moment.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat. He didn’t know if he would ever be in this ring again because he gave everything he had to get ready for Wrestlemania. Last week he woke up after a war with HHH and his knee had never been in so much pain. All he knew was that he had never felt so good because at Wrestlemania, he slayed the King.

There are a lot of things Rollins wants to do around here (“The name Samoa Joe comes to mind.”), including wanting to get his hands on the Universal Title. However, something happened at Wrestlemania that might prevent it from happening. We see a clip of Stephanie being knocked through a table, which means she’ll be out for a while. Then she’ll be back though and Rollins becomes public enemy #1. Therefore, it’s probably easier for him to go to Smackdown. That’s not what’s going to happen though as Seth took the easy way out once and he’s not doing it again.

Cue Angle to say that yes, Stephanie made it clear she wants him gone. Angle watched Wrestlemania though and saw Seth win a fight on one leg. Stephanie’s opinion aside, as long as Angle is in charge, Seth has a home here on Raw. Angle goes to leave but Samoa Joe comes in for the fight. Rollins superkicks him to the floor though and Joe bails.

To Raw again.

In the back, Michael Cole has a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns. Roman says the win over Undertaker was the biggest win of his career but it was bittersweet. He’s had great guidance but he’s not sure how you retire someone you respect so much. Braun Strowman comes in and the fight is on with Reigns being destroyed.

Reigns gets powerslammed onto an anvil case and Braun crushes him by wheeling another case into Reigns’ head. Fans: “THANK YOU STROWMAN!” Reigns is taken out on a stretcher. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” Strowman shoves the stretcher down a flight of stairs, drawing the pop of the night. Reigns is wheeled into the ambulance. Braun: “I’M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET BOY!” Strowman beats him up even more and TURNS THE AMBULANCE OVER with Reigns inside.

Post break Reigns is loaded into a new ambulance and finally gets to leave.

Gran Metlik/Lince Dorado vs. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese

Nese gets a very nice pop from his hometown crowd. Metalik does all of his flips on Gulak to start before getting pulled down into a dragon sleeper with a bodyscissors (Remember when that was a dangerous move in the Cruiserweight Classic?). We hit some dives before it’s off to an early break.

Back with Gulak and Metalik trading chops in the corner until a springboard elbow drops Gulak. The hot tag brings in Dorado and everything breaks down. Dorado grabs a handspring double Stunner (cool), leaving Metalik to walk the top rope for a moonsault onto Gulak. Nese crotches Dorado on top though and the running knee to the jaw is enough for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C. Totally average cruiserweight tag here and that doesn’t mean much. I still really like Metalik and the whole King of the Ropes thing has potential, though he’s stuck here because of one botch and there’s not much changing that. Nese continues to be just one step away from being awesome but I’m not sure what that step is.

We’ll wrap it up with this.

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. An early Dirty Deeds attempt sends Owens bailing to the floor but Dean whips him into the barricade. Dean scores with a dive and we take a break. Back with Dean caught in a chinlock. Owens: “I could do this all night baby!” Dean fights up and gets sent outside in a crash, followed by a ram into the post. Back in and Ambrose gets in a good shot to knock Owens outside, setting up a suicide dive.

That’s not enough for Dirty Deeds though but Owens misses a Cannonball. Dean clotheslines him down but Kevin bails outside. That’s fine with Dean, who hits the top rope elbow. Back in and Owens hits the package piledriver slam for two as the fans want Jericho. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered but Owens escapes Dirty Deeds as well. A superkick blocks the rebound lariat but Dean rolls through into Dirty Deeds for the clean pin at 14:15.

Rating: B. Lack of caring from the crowd aside (yeah fans aren’t that interested in a match with nothing on the line after a three and a half hour taping and no story in sight), this was a good back and forth fight between two people with underrated chemistry. I liked it more than I was expecting to but it was missing something to take it to the next level.

Post match Chris Jericho comes out to hit Owens with a Codebreaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show had the Braun Strowman segment and that alone makes it amazing. If WWE somehow doesn’t capitalize on what they did with that, they’re actually more of a mess than I thought they were. On top of that, if Reigns is seen on TV at any point before Payback (and even then), they’re fools. Good show this week, though it’s mainly due to the Raw stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Main Event
Date: April 6, 2017
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

Can the Wrestlemania edition of this show be an upgrade? Am I asking too much for something like that? Yeah probably, as this is almost bound to be the same people having the same dark matches because that’s how this show works. At least Raw was fun this week so the highlights should be good. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak has been trying to move 205 Live and the cruiserweights closer to a mat based style in recent weeks. They do go to the mat to start but it involves a kick to Drew’s chest and a backsplash for two. Drew bails for a breather and hides on the ramp to avoid a big dive, which just earns him a series of chops and a right hand to the face. A baseball slide drops Tozawa and a backbreaker sets up a chinlock. Tozawa shouts a lot, fights up, and grabs the snap German suplex for the pin at 4:34.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting as Tozawa continues to look like a machine out there almost every time. There’s a good chance he’ll get a title match in the near future, especially if Neville retains over Aries again. Gulak has something with this anti-205 Live stuff if he can get a few people to side with him.

From Raw for the first time.

Here’s Vince for the start of the second hour. Naturally the fans sing his song, drawing a big grin from the boss. A ROMAN SUCKS chant starts up but Vince talks over it (and it goes away), thanking the fans for being so passionate. Wrestlemania may be over but next week we’re having a Superstar Shake Up because it’s time to shake things up. We have some very sad footage from last night, which shows Stephanie going through a table.

That’s going to put Stephanie out for awhile and since we have no General Manager, it’s time to hire someone new. The new GM was inducted into the Hall of Fame over the weekend….and here’s Teddy Long. Teddy starts dancing until Vince shouts that it’s not him. Vince: “TEDDY STOP DANCING!” It’s not you!” Teddy: “It’s not me?” Vince: “It’s not you!” Teddy: “Well….my bad! Holla holla holla!” It’s Kurt Angle of course and that’s as good of an option as they really had. Angle hits the catchphrase and is already out.

Raw Part Two!

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for a chat. Brock is a little happier than normal tonight and has allowed Heyman to tell us a bedtime story that both of their children hear. There once was a superhero named Goldberg who stood for honor and valor and all that good stuff. Then he took the Universal Title but went on a little side trip through south central Suplex City where the Beast beat him up and took his title. The happy ending: there’s no more Goldberg around here ever again. Fans: “THANK YOU BROCK!”

That means Brock needs new challengers. Fans: “FINN! FINN! FINN!” Heyman suggests Seth Rollins, either Hardys or even both Hardys but let’s talk about the 2 in 23-2. Yes he means Roman Reigns and history says that these two must meet. If Reigns is the big dog then Lesnar is animal cruelty. Heyman wants to do it tonight but here’s Braun Strowman instead to not much of a reaction (not that surprising). Strowman wants Lesnar’s attention because Brock already has his. Lesnar lays the title down in front of Strowman and says bring it but Strowman leaves instead.

Titus O’Neil vs. Curtis Axel

Of all the people you can add to the Main Event regulars, freaking TITUS??? O’Neil runs him over to start but won’t do the dog bark here in Florida. A clothesline puts Titus on the floor and we take an early break. Back with Axel’s comeback being stopped via a hard whip into the corner. That means it’s bearhug time, followed by a suplex for two. Axel fights back with right hands and a running knee for two of his own. The PerfectPlex is easily countered though and the Clash of the Titus is good for the pin at 8:02.

Rating: C-. That’s one of Axel’s better matches ever, which is really depressing. You would think that someone would get better just by being around wrestling for so many years but it’s not the case here. Axel is trying as hard as he can but it’s rather hard to run with an anchor tied around your legs.

We wrap it up with a very shortened version of Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe/Kevin Owens.

Overall Rating: C. Like I said, thank goodness Raw was there to bail this one out. There’s only so much you can do when your main event features Titus O’Neil and this show didn’t know the way around that problem. There’s only so much you’re going to get out of this show and this week’s episode was all the proof you need.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 3, 2017
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

IT’S CRAZY NIGHT! This show has a reputation for being the most over the top and often completely ridiculous show with the crowd making the night all about them. It’s hard to say what we might see on here but odds are it’s going to be some debuts and other major announcements, as is often the case on this show. Let’s get to it.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck and looking almost straight at the screen with the hard cameras on my left. On a personal note, while I was getting food before the show, for the first time ever, a fan recognized me. I’m not sure who you were but thank you very much as that made my night.

The opening video looks at the end of Wrestlemania with Roman Reigns outlasting Undertaker and spearing him over and over for Undertaker’s second loss at Wrestlemania. This seemed to signal Undertaker’s retirement after the match, marking the end of a nearly four DECADE career in WWE.

We open with the fans chanting for Undertaker and not letting up on it, which is the only way this should go. Some ROMAN SUCKS chants start up and slowly get louder than the pro-Undertaker crowd. Here’s Roman, which is the best way they can possibly start something like this. Cole says last night might have been the last ride for Undertaker and calls him the greatest performer ever in WWE. I know he just retired but that’s some strong hyperbole.

The chants start up as soon as the music stops with DELETE, F*** YOU ROMAN, DELETE, YOU SUCK, A**HOLE, RO-MAN SUCKS, DELETE, SHUT THE F*** UP and GO AWAY. Reigns finally gets in five words with “This is my yard now” before dropping the mic and walking out after nearly eight minutes on screen. This was MASTERFUL with Reigns cashing in on all the hatred the fans have for him after he destroyed one of their heroes. It’s not clear if this was a heel turn but if it’s not, they’re actually dumber than I thought.

The announcers do their standard “yeah it’s weird but WE TOTALLY LOVE IT!” spiel.

Ad for Wrestlemania XXXIV in New Orleans. This probably aired seven times in two days with people getting sick of it by the end.

Tag Team Titles: Anderson and Gallows vs. Hardy Boyz

Matt and Jeff are defending and this is one of the best things they could put on so early. The fans are going to cheer for the Hardys all night so let them get it out of their system here instead of giving them the focus all night. Anderson and Jeff start things off with the champs quickly shifting to Matt, who gets two off the Side Effect. It’s WAY too early for the Twist of Fate so the champs settle for sending the bald guys to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Matt in trouble and the second WELCOME BACK chant of the match. I think we know they’re back by this point. Now it’s the F*** THAT OWL chant and I’m really not liking these fans turning a PG show into something this vulgar. Yeah I know there’s the whole “I bought a ticket and I can say what I want” defense but what would your response be to someone going to a Disney movie and then loudly swearing the whole time?

Anderson holds Matt open for a kick to the ribs but Matt gets over for the hot tag, triggering the DELETE chants. A basement dropkick and splash of all things gets two but Gallows crotches Jeff on the top. The Boot of Doom gets two (with Cole spoiling the kickout by saying we’re going to have new champions) but Matt breaks up the Magic Killer. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton retains the titles at 10:38.

Rating: C. Nothing all that special here but this was the absolute right call. Let Matt and Jeff go out there, soak in the cheers, and get them a clean win in a TV match. Speaking of wins, do you know when was the last time the Hardys lost a non-ladder two on two tag match? As best I can tell, it would be the WrestleCon Supershow in 2015, or over two years ago. That’s an INCREDIBLE winning streak in modern wrestling and could go on for several more months.

Stills of HHH vs. Seth Rollins.

Here’s Neville to basically say “HAHA I TOLD YOU SO!” There’s going to be a full celebration tomorrow night on 205 Live….but here’s Mustafa Ali to interrupt.

Mustafa Ali vs. Neville

Non-title. A quick hurricanrana puts Neville down and a kick to the head puts him on the floor. Naturally that means a big dive, only to have Neville toss him into the air for a big crash down to the mat. Back from a break with the fans chanting for the beach balls, which were ALL OVER the arena at this point. There were at least ten going around at various points, which is why a headlock on the mat is getting the loudest reaction in history.

Neville stops to glare at the crowd but Ali kicks him in the face during the distraction. The rolling neckbreaker gives Ali two as the fans are chanting BEACH BALL MANIA. Graves tries to keep the focus on the match, saying the crowd is just going to make Neville even angrier. The fans boo when a security guard takes one away, which is just a second before Neville hits a hard clothesline.

With the frustration growing, Cole actually explains the BEACH BALL MANIA concept. In an attempt to get the fans watching what they actually paid for, Ali grabs a top rope Spanish Fly to put both guys down. Fans: “HEY! WE WANT SOME BEACH BALL!” Ali hits a superkick and a reverse hurricanrana, followed by a hard tornado DDT for two. The inverted 450 misses and Neville goes up, looks at the crowd, and jumps down for the Rings of Saturn and the submission instead at 10:31.

Rating: B. This is a great example of why I can’t stand this crowd. I paid to watch wrestling and of course all the beach balls flying around are going to be a distraction. Having fun is one thing but taking over the show with something that has NOTHING to do with what you’re watching is something else. If you’re that bored, go spend your money on something else.

The match was great stuff though with Ali continuing to show just how awesome he can be. Give him a bit of a character upgrade and he’ll be a future champion. I really liked Neville here too as instead of ignoring the beach ball nonsense, he tied it into his character who was tired of being disrespected. It’s very tiresome to watch a match when something big is going on and the wrestlers have to ignore it. Tie it into the match so things can seem a bit more real.

Vince arrives. You had to know that was going to happen.

Here’s Vince for the start of the second hour. Naturally the fans sing his song, drawing a big grin from the boss. A ROMAN SUCKS chant starts up but Vince talks over it (and it goes away), thanking the fans for being so passionate. Wrestlemania may be over but next week we’re having a Superstar Shake Up because it’s time to shake things up. We have some very sad footage from last night, which shows Stephanie going through a table.

That’s going to put Stephanie out for awhile and since we have no General Manager, it’s time to hire someone new. The new GM was inducted into the Hall of Fame over the weekend….and here’s Teddy Long. Teddy starts dancing until Vince shouts that it’s not him. Vince: “TEDDY STOP DANCING!” It’s not you!” Teddy: “It’s not me?” Vince: “It’s not you!” Teddy: “Well….my bad! Holla holla holla!” It’s Kurt Angle of course and that’s as good of an option as they really had. Angle hits the catchphrase and is already out.

Stills of Kevin Owens beating Chris Jericho for the US Title.

Here’s New Day, still with no New Day Pops for purchase. Kofi and Xavier do have what appear to be ice cream cone shoulder pads though. Woods issues an open challenge and CUE TOP GUYS!

New Day vs. Revival

Oh you know they’re getting the pop of the night on this show. Dawson SHOVES THE CART OVER so you know it’s serious. Woods and Dawson start things off as the beach balls are completely forgotten. Revival starts in on Xavier’s arm with Dawson getting in a nasty looking crank. Graves: “That won’t separate your shoulder. It’ll divorce it!” The arm work continues after the break but Woods sneaks over and gets in the tag to Big E. Suplexes abound as everything breaks down. Big E. is sent outside, leaving Woods to try the Honor Roll….right into a Shatter Machine for the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C+. Now that’s more like it! This was the debut that the fans wanted to see and Revival got the clean pin over the biggest team WWE has produced in at least ten years. They did it in classic Revival style and it was as entertaining as it could have been given the short time frame. Woods even took the fall, which is pretty much his only in-ring role. It’s also nice to have something actually happen on this show.

Post match Revival takes out Kofi’s ankle.

Angle is getting his office ready (with a box of gold medals) when Enzo and Big Cass come in. Enzo: “And you can’t teach that!” Angle: “Not in any college I’ve ever heard of.” Enzo on Big Cass being tall: “And you can’t teach that!” Angle looks up: “You sure can’t!” Enzo: “How you doin?” Angle: “I’m doing great! I was just inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and now I’m the new General Manager of Monday Night Raw. How are you guys doing?”

Not too well apparently because they want a title shot. Enzo also wants to know why Goofy is treated like a human and Pluto is treated like a dog. Angle: “I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.” As for their title issues, Kurt gives them a #1 contenders match against Sheamus/Cesaro tonight so Cass promises to prove the two of them are S-A-W-F-T. Enzo and Cass leave as Angle realizes that’s not how you spell soft. This was HILARIOUS and one of the first things I wanted to see when Angle was announced as the new GM.

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke vs. Nia Jax/Charlotte/Emma

Yes Emma instead of Emmalina. Emma does her pose on the announcers’ table and is all fired up with Graves suddenly being a huge fan. Charlotte and Dana start things off but Emma tags herself in. A low dropkick puts Dana down and it’s off to Bayley for a showdown. The announcers keep talking about how Emma doesn’t know who she is but thankfully shift over to her new found aggression. Bayley takes her down and rolls around Emma’s back as we take a break.

Back with Bayley in trouble as the announcers talk about Nia being unstoppable at Wrestlemania. You know, until she was stopped. Bayley gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some choking but she’s able to send Charlotte to the floor. The hot tag brings in Sasha for the house cleaning, including the double knees in the corner for two on Charlotte. Everything breaks down and Bayley dives on Nia, leaving Sasha to grab the Bank Statement to make Charlotte tap at 9:14.

Rating: C-. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was Charlotte’s last match before being shipped over the Smackdown. There’s nothing else for her to do on Raw and it would make Bayley look more like a conquering hero. Charlotte has dominated the roster for so long that she needs some fresh challenges and Smackdown would be just the place.

Post match Charlotte yells at Nia and is promptly laid out in what feels like a face turn for Jax. Emma gets stared down and immediately bails in a smart move.

Sami Zayn is in Angle’s office and talks about wanting to cultivate a relationship with him like the one Sami had with Foley. Angle says Zayn demonstrates the three I’s and thinks he’ll be fine. Jinder Mahal comes in to complain about the battle royal. Kurt gets tired of the arguing and puts them in a match tonight.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for a chat. Brock is a little happier than normal tonight and has allowed Heyman to tell us a bedtime story that both of their children hear. There once was a superhero named Goldberg who stood for honor and valor and all that good stuff. Then he took the Universal Title but went on a little side trip through south central Suplex City where the Beast beat him up and took his title. The happy ending: there’s no more Goldberg around here ever again. Fans: “THANK YOU BROCK!”

That means Brock needs new challengers. Fans: “FINN! FINN! FINN!” Heyman suggests Seth Rollins, either Hardys or even both Hardys but let’s talk about the 2 in 23-2. Yes he means Roman Reigns and history says that these two must meet. If Reigns is the big dog then Lesnar is animal cruelty. Heyman wants to do it tonight but here’s Braun Strowman instead to not much of a reaction (not that surprising). Strowman wants Lesnar’s attention because Brock already has his. Lesnar lays the title down in front of Strowman and says bring it but Strowman leaves instead.

So that happened. I know we’re getting Lesnar vs. Reigns in New Orleans whether we like it or not but I really, REALLY hope they don’t announce it in advance as it makes everything until then seem like a waste of time. Let the story get there on its own and things will likely be a lot better. As far as Strowman…..in theory he’s next for Reigns but I don’t see how you have Strowman lose to Reigns to set up Strowman vs. Lesnar, nor do I see how you have Reigns lose to Strowman for any reason at all.

Chris Jericho is confirmed to have a rematch with Kevin Owens at Payback. As for tonight though, he loves this raucous crowd and BEACH BALL MANIA IS RUNNING WILD BABY! These people are the friends of Jericho, los amigos de Jericho or the mates of Jericho. CHEER HIM ON MAN! Tonight he’s starting his revenge against Kevin Owens and he’ll stat with the tip of Owens’ finger. Last night the tip of Owens’ finger saved him and do you know what that means? THE TIP OF OWENS’ FINGER JUST MADE THE LIST!

Cue Owens and Samoa Joe to beat Jericho down and put him through a table. I’m sure this won’t result in Jericho being pulled out of tonight’s tag team match (Rollins/Jericho vs. Owens/Joe). Even if it does, that’s totally different than last year’s post-Wrestlemania Raw where Owens powerbombed Sami through a table to take him out of the main event. See, that took Sami out of a four way and this year is a tag match. Totally different story.

Jericho is out of the main event but Angle promises to find Rollins a new tag partner. Just start the FINN chants now.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

The winners get the Hardys, presumably at Payback. Enzo is in Orlando Magic themed gear and gets an early two on Cesaro. Now we get the catchy chant of the night with “SHEAMUS AND CESARO! HEY HEY HEY!” I couldn’t make it out from the stands (I heard “SHEAMUS IS AWESOME”) but Cesaro chants it for a bit as well. Cass avoids a charge in the corner but gets the back of his neck snapped across the top rope.

Cesaro tries to come in for a save so Cass launches Enzo at him instead. It works so well that he launches him at both of them again, sending us to a break. Back with Enzo getting thrown around as the Sheamus and Cesaro chants continue. Cass gets dropkicked through the ropes and it’s time for Enzo to go swinging. The Sharpshooter is broken up though and it’s time for the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka, only to have a Brogue Kick drop Cass. Sheamus launches Enzo into an uppercut from Cesaro for the pin and the title shot at 9:47.

Rating: D+. Cesaro and Sheamus have grown on me in recent weeks and a lot of that is just getting away from the Best of Seven series and the annoyance of what they were forcing us to sit through. They’re actually a decent power team and this was the right call as putting the Hardys vs. Enzo and Cass would pretty easily make Enzo and Cass the heels, which is the last thing you want to do before they win the titles for the first time.

We see some Tweets from wrestlers on Undertaker’s retirement.

Sami Zayn vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder jumps him before the bell and the referee actually bothers to ask if Sami can go. Mahal takes him down for a kneedrop and grabs an early chinlock as the OLE’s start up in a hurry. Sami fights up, hits the exploder into the corner and finishes with the Helluva Kick at 2:21.

Samoa Joe/Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins/???

You know it’s going to be Finn Balor, I know it’s going to be Finn Balor and the crowd knows it’s going to be Finn Balor, all of which I type during the entrances, capped of by……hey look it’s Finn Balor. Other than maybe Nakamura, this was the only realistic option they had and it’s the right call. Thankfully the commentators are smart enough to keep quiet until Balor has been able to get in four poses.

Rollins and Owens start things off with Kevin ducking a low superkick for a standoff, meaning it’s off to Joe for a slugout with Seth. A quick trip to the corner is enough for the hot tag to Balor as the NXT chants start up. The fact that four former NXT Champions (and three former WWE World Champions) are main eventing this show is an amazing sign. Owens bails from the threat of a double team but gets taken down by a suicide dive.

That’s not enough for Seth as he hits a big flip dive onto both villains, only to bang up the knee and get caught by a DDT back inside. The STUPID IDIOT chants start (I would have expected them earlier) as Owens grabs a chinlock. It’s back to Joe to crush the knee again as those gold tights are making me think of Savage’s bad knee at Wrestlemania VIII.

Joe misses a backsplash though and Rollins enziguris his way into a hot tag to Balor. Chops and kicks a go-go ensue but Owens catches him in something like a swinging White Noise for two. Rollins breaks up the Koquina Clutch and the running dropkick into the corner sets up the Coup de Grace to put Owens away at 12:12.

Rating: B-. Standard main event tag in front of a hot crowd. This did exactly what it needed to do as I’d assume Balor will get the shot at Owens if Jericho is off touring. You could put the title on Balor without much of an issue as Jericho vs. Owens II is about revenge instead of the title anyway. Joe vs. Rollins should be a lot of fun too.

Rollins and Balor pose to end the show, apparently burying the hatchet over Balor’s wrecked shoulder.

Overall Rating: B+. First and foremost, this show is NOT about the wrestling and it never has been. This show is about moving things forward and surviving an insane crowd. The opening half hour was almost perfect with the Reigns stuff being as great as it could have been and the Hardys fired up the crowd even more, if that was possible. The Angle announcement and Revival debut were both very strong, as was Balor returning at the end.

All in all, the surprises worked very well, even though we knew most of them in advance. Almost nothing on here was a major surprise but that’s not exactly a bad thing. WWE hit almost all of the big ideas on the checklist and gave us a really fun show. Nothing on here was really bad, Reigns was confined to the opening twelve minutes and Angle meeting Enzo and Cass certainly didn’t disappoint.

The big problem though was the announcement of the Superstar Shakeup. Basically that said “none of this matters so we’ll just wait for the important stuff next week.” That kept hanging in my mind all night and while it didn’t kill the show, it did hold things back a good bit. Raw was a lot of fun this week though and that’s what matters here.

Results

Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows

Neville b. Mustafa Ali – Rings of Saturn

Revival b. New Day – Shatter Machine to Woods

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke b. Nia Jax/Charlotte/Emma – Bank Statement to Charlotte

Cesaro/Sheamus b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass – Uppercut to Amore

Sami Zayn b. Jinder Mahal – Helluva Kick

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Samoa Joe/Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace to Owens

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Main Event
Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s Wrestlemania week and there’s a good chance that you’ll never know it based on watching this show. If I had to guess, we’ll be seeing some nothing matches and a bunch of build towards the pay per view. In other words, it’s going to be Monday Night Raw all over again. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke

Dana is freshly face. Feeling out process to start with Fox running her over, only to get slammed for two. For some reason this makes the announcers suggest that Dana is cheating, even though she certainly didn’t. Fox’s northern lights suplex gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Fox misses a boot in the corner and gets caught in a Samoan Driver for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D+. Yeah fine. Dana is pretty much the same character as a heel or a face, which isn’t the best sign in the world. This was really just having Brooke shrug off Fox’s offense and hit her finish, though she has a good smile and the entrance works well enough. It’s clear that neither of these two are going near the title anytime soon and this didn’t seem to do much to help them.

From Raw.

Here are Rollins and HHH for the contract signing. HHH doesn’t get in yet because he has to tell Seth that the match is off if there’s violence before the match. Seth has to sit down and listen to what he has to give up or there’s no match. HHH explains the idea all over again and then blames the fans for putting Seth in jeopardy.

The boss doesn’t understand why people hate success so much. How dare HHH drive a nice car and live in a nice house? You have one life to live and there’s no point in holding back. HHH finally gets to a logical point by saying Seth doesn’t want to miss Wrestlemania twice in a row but if he walks in to Wrestlemania, he’s not walking out.

Seth says that’s the same nonsense he bought into three years ago but he’s not doing it now. He didn’t mind wrestling in front of 100 people for a hot dog and a handshake in the Philadelphia National Guard Armory because he loves this business. Seth loves this and it’s more than just a match at Wrestlemania. Rollins signs and the beating is on with HHH going after the knee. HHH loads up the crutch but gets caught by an enziguri and backdropped over the top.

Also from Raw.

Here’s Reigns for his big talk about Undertaker. He was in this building two years ago when he won the Royal Rumble and then went on to main event two straight Wrestlemanias. Roman, sounding rather heelish, doesn’t care what the people say and doesn’t care what Undertaker thinks: this is his building and this is his yard. The gong strikes and Undertaker is on screen in the graveyard.

We see him digging the grave, which is in a special part of the cemetery. At Wrestlemania, the Roman Empire will crumble and the ultimate thrill ride will be Reigns’ Last Ride. Reigns should live each day like its his last because at Wrestlemania, he will…….and there go the lights because Undertaker is in the ring. As he was saying, Reigns will rest in peace. The lights go dim again and Reigns isn’t phased.

Lince Dorado/Gran Metalik/Mustafa Ali vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Nese runs Metalik over to start but Metalik starts using the ropes, including walking across them into a springboard armdrag. Ali comes in and gets sent hard to the floor as we take a break. Back with Gulak getting two off a hard clothesline before grabbing a one arm camel clutch. Ali pops back up with the rolling neckbreaker and there’s the hot tag to Dorado. A shooting star gets two on Nese and everything breaks down with Metalik getting in a big dive. Nese adds the inverted 450 for the pin on Gulak at 9:05.

Rating: C-. This was every run of the mill cruiserweight six man you’ve ever seen. Metalik had some good dives in there but there was nothing else of note in the whole thing. They really do just throw these people on TV and hope for the best. The match isn’t bad by any stretch but it’s completely uninteresting.

We’ll wrap it with this.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for the big closing segment. Lesnar is the extremist who is going to derail Goldberg’s ultimate thrill ride. The Universal Title is what matters most around here because it’s the one (Heyman: “There’s a number you’re familiar with at Wrestlemania.”) thing that matters more than anything else. Lesnar craves and lusts after that title but more than that he wants to destroy Goldberg.

While Goldberg may be the man, Lesnar is the Beast that will chew him up and spit him out at Wrestlemania. Now we need a reason to get people to buy the show (“Or buy a ticket off a secondary market because Wrestlemania is sold out. Thanks for the house Brock!”) so here it is: Goldberg is going to Suplex City! Lesnar doesn’t fear the spear because Goldberg can’t survive the F5. Here’s Goldberg to say the people are here to see us fight, meaning it’s a spear to Lesnar in the aisle. Lesnar is down on the floor as Goldberg poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Complete waste of forty five minutes here with recaps of segments that weren’t great in the first place and two nothing matches. Main Event is a show that has to put in some strong effort to get above being a nothing show and they certainly didn’t accomplish that here. Bad show and one of the weakest since I’ve been watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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This…..could go multiple ways.

I really don’t know where to go with this one. Rollins has the knee injury coming in so I’m not sure what they can do with the match but really, there’s no reason whatsoever for HHH to come close to winning. Of course that never stopped him before but I think we’re mostly past that at this point. The match should be fun and odds are it includes some interference (Samoa Joe is almost a given) so expect more of a mess than a straight match, which is probably the right call.

I’ll take Rollins in what should be a layup, but this feud has been a mess since it started in August and then went on until April because HHH is only worthy of Wrestlemania or something. The “Rollins turned on me when he got hurt” story is still ridiculous (not to mention illogical) but if it ends with Rollins pinning HHH once and for all (they’ll do at least one rematch), it should be fun enough.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 27, 2017
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the last show before Wrestlemania and that means there isn’t likely to be much going on tonight. The big story tonight is the HHH vs. Seth Rollins signing, which is a match that somehow hasn’t been confirmed yet. While it seems to be a guarantee, I could see Sami Zayn and Samoa Joe being added to make it a tag match for the sake of protecting Seth’s knee. Let’s get to it.

The Undertaker hacks the opening video and turns it into one of his own. You know I wasn’t sure if he’d be on the go home show for Wrestlemania.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Bayley, in an Ultimate Warrior shirt, to open the show. This is her favorite time of the year because she used to get together with her friends and buy Wrestlemania every year. This time around though, she’s defending her title on the show and it’s the biggest night of her life. Cue Charlotte to interrupt and talk about taking care of Sasha Banks last year. When she beat Sasha at End of the Line, she sent her away from the title picture.

This Sunday, Sasha is going to turn on Bayley because Banks believes in keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Charlotte shows us a Tweet to prove it but has to deal with CM PUNK chants. Now it’s Sasha coming out to say she hears this every single week. She promises to win but here’s Nia Jax to interrupt as well. It’s her turn to promise to win the title and a brawl breaks out.

Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax/Charlotte

This was previously announced so they didn’t just throw it together for a change. Sasha works on a backbreaker with her knee in Charlotte’s back to start but it’s off to Nia for the power game. Things start going badly for Sasha as you might expect and it’s back to Charlotte.

Sasha gets over for the tag as well though and sends Charlotte face first into the buckle a few times, only to miss a middle rope crossbody. A chinlock keeps Bayley in trouble as long as a chinlock is going to do, meaning it’s off to Sasha for a kick to Charlotte’s ribs. Not that it matters as Nia runs her off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Charlotte and Nia taking turns on a chinlock until Charlotte bends Sasha’s back over her knee. Banks finally fights up and makes the hot tag off to Bayley for a very nice pop. A belly to back gets two on Charlotte but she goes after the knee and grabs the Figure Four, only to have Sasha make the save. Sasha poses Nia, leaving the Bayley to Belly to finish Charlotte at 13:00.

Rating: C. Pretty standard match here and I’m worried about the ending being a bad sign for Bayley on Sunday. I can live with almost anyone walking away with the title save for Charlotte as a fifth title reign in a year is just ridiculous and therefore the most likely ending. Nia was playing the monster role well here, which is really all she needs to do.

Nia drops everyone post match, including a splash to Charlotte, allowing her to hold up the title.

We look at HHH re-injuring Seth Rollins’ knee.

We look back at Mick Foley being fired last week.

Sami Zayn enters the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal to honor Foley’s legacy. Stephanie comes up and says not so fast because Sami hasn’t earned that right. Therefore, tonight he has to defeat Kevin Owens in a No DQ match. If he loses, he can join Foley on the unemployment line. She’s always had some weird obsession with that match but at least we don’t have to hear about her being Andre’s friend.

Austin Aries vs. Noam Dar

Neville is on commentary. Aries hits a running dropkick to put him on the floor and we take a break. Back with Dar stomping away in the corner and grabbing a chinlock. The comeback doesn’t take long and a legsweep sends Dar outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Aries unloads with the discus Fivearm, followed by the Last Chancery (making its main roster debut) to make Dar tap at 7:30.

Rating: D+. Nothing to the match but this was ALL about making Aries look more dangerous before he gets to face Neville on Sunday. I love the idea of adding a submission to Aries’ offense, especially one as cool looking as the Last Chancery. They’ve done a really good job of building this up and it’s one of the matches I’m looking forward to most.

We look back at HHH demanding Rollins sign a paper to prevent lawsuits due to injuries.

Here are Rollins and HHH for the contract signing. HHH doesn’t get in yet because he has to tell Seth that the match is off if there’s violence before the match. Seth has to sit down and listen to what he has to give up or there’s no match. HHH explains the idea all over again and then blames the fans for putting Seth in jeopardy.

The boss doesn’t understand why people hate success so much. How dare HHH drive a nice car and live in a nice house? You have one life to live and there’s no point in holding back. HHH finally gets to a logical point by saying Seth doesn’t want to miss Wrestlemania twice in a row but if he walks in to Wrestlemania, he’s not walking out.

Seth says that’s the same nonsense he bought into three years ago but he’s not doing it now. He didn’t mind wrestling in front of 100 people for a hot dog and a handshake in the Philadelphia National Guard Armory because he loves this business. Seth loves this and it’s more than just a match at Wrestlemania. Rollins signs and the beating is on with HHH going after the knee. HHH loads up the crutch but gets caught by an enziguri and backdropped over the top.

This was a little long but it showcases the major problem: I have no idea why they’re fighting. Rollins’ motivation makes sense but did HHH ever give a better explanation than “your knee got hurt and we had to start over”? Is that REALLY the best they can come up with? HHH’s speech about money and power didn’t make sense and I really don’t get what they’re going for here.

We look at Goldberg beating Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series.

Back from a break and we look at what we just saw.

Over the Top Rope Challenge

This is basically a battle royal gauntlet match and I’m assuming everyone is in the Andre match. Big Show and Jinder Mahal start with Show putting him out in about thirty seconds. Bo Dallas gets the same treatment and both Shining Stars don’t do much better. Golden Truth and Curtis Axel come in, plus the other four who were previously eliminated, to finally put Big Show out.

It doesn’t really matter as Show gets back in and beats up everyone save for Truth, who bails instead. Show’s music plays but Braun Strowman comes out for the trash talk against Big Show as the match ended….I guess when Show was eliminated. I’m really not sure who won so we’ll call it a no contest at around 3:00. No rating due to how all over the place this was, but at least we know Strowman is in the battle royal.

We look back at Sheamus and Cesaro winning a handicap match in 40 seconds last week.

Anderson and Gallows think Enzo and Cass are stupid.

The Undertaker is digging graves.

Reigns isn’t scared.

New Day rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, gave out cheese steaks and New Day Pops to people in Philadelphia and trained by running the Rocky Steps.

Anderson and Gallows jump Sheamus and Cesaro……with a ladder. Yeah sure why not. Let’s add ANOTHER gimmick to the gimmickiest show ever.

Neville vs. Jack Gallagher

Non-title. Gallagher starts with the headstands in the corner and a rollup for two. Not that it matters as Neville sends him flying with a release German suplex as we take a break. Back with the big headbutt dropping Neville but Jack can’t follow up. With Neville rolling outside, Jack grabs William III and dives off the top for a seated senton but it only seems to annoy Neville (I never liked Mary Poppins either). Neville comes right back with the superplex and the Rings of Saturn for the tap at 7:35.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but they didn’t have the time to do anything like their great match at Fastlane. Gallagher has taken one heck of a hit in recent weeks but that isn’t the most surprising thing in the world. He’s a fun character but I’m not sure what kind of legs he has, at least inside the world of WWE. Let him go somewhere else for vignettes or something but this is only going to carry him so far.

Neville poses but we get Austin Aries News Network breaking news. Aries wants to know who is going to win the Cruiserweight Title match and asks……New Day. Kofi things Aries needs to use his hips and dancing ensues. That’s enough for New Day’s endorsement as Neville looks disgusted.

Al Roker will be guest ring announcer for the Wrestlemania mixed tag. Uh…..yeah I think that speaks for itself.

We look at Goldberg eliminating Lesnar from the Royal Rumble.

Here’s Reigns for his big talk about Undertaker. He was in this building two years ago when he won the Royal Rumble and then went on to main event two straight Wrestlemanias. Roman, sounding rather heelish, doesn’t care what the people say and doesn’t care what Undertaker thinks: this is his building and this is his yard. The gong strikes and Undertaker is on screen in the graveyard.

We see him digging the grave, which is in a special part of the cemetery. At Wrestlemania, the Roman Empire will crumble and the ultimate thrill ride will be Reigns’ Last Ride. Reigns should live each day like its his last because at Wrestlemania, he will…….and there go the lights because Undertaker is in the ring. As he was saying, Reigns will rest in peace. The lights go dim again and Reigns isn’t phased.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

Non-title. Enzo and Cass imitate Allen Iverson’s PRACTICE rant from about seventeen years ago. And never mind as Sheamus and Cesaro attack all four with a ladder.

Women’s History Month video on Maya Angelou.

Kevin Owens doesn’t want to hear about Chris Jericho being his former best friend. Sure he used to be a Jericho fan but he doesn’t want to remember convincing his parents to buy him any more Jericho gear. This Sunday, the ultimate thrill ride is turning into Jericho’s ultimate nightmare.

Long video on HHH vs. Rollins with HHH talking about Rollins collapsing underneath the pressure (meaning his knee injury) and giving up everything he was handed. This gets the big music video treatment and does a good job setting up a very shaky story.

We run down the Wrestlemania card. The Cruiserweight Title is officially on the Kickoff Show.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Anything goes. If Sami wins he’s in the battle royal but if he loses, he’s fired from Raw. Sami goes after him in the corner and they’re quickly on the floor with Owens shoving Zayn off the barricade when the moonsault slips. Owens gets sent knee first into a wall though and we take a break.

Back with Owens DDTing him onto the steps for two. The Cannonball connects but Owens tries for a second, which is countered into the exploder into the corner. The diving DDT through the ropes spikes Owens into the floor but he blocks the Helluva Kick with a superkick. I do love the KICK HIM IN THE FACE mentality. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two….and here comes Samoa Joe. Before he can get to the ring though, Chris Jericho jumps him from behind, allowing Sami to roll Owens up for the pin at 11:08.

Rating: C+. These two almost start with a better rating by default and then have to work their way down to just average. The interference made sense here as you don’t want to have either of them lose clean (given the stipulations), though I still have no idea why Sami is going into the battle royal. I mean, other than to avoid the show having fourteen matches.

Post match, Jericho chairs Owens down and puts him on the List. It’s really impressive that they waited that long to finally do the big line from Jericho and it worked….mostly.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for the big closing segment. Lesnar is the extremist who is going to derail Goldberg’s ultimate thrill ride. The Universal Title is what matters most around here because it’s the one (Heyman: “There’s a number you’re familiar with at Wrestlemania.”) thing that matters more than anything else. Lesnar craves and lusts after that title but more than that he wants to destroy Goldberg.

While Goldberg may be the man, Lesnar is the Beast that will chew him up and spit him out at Wrestlemania. Now we need a reason to get people to buy the show (“Or buy a ticket off a secondary market because Wrestlemania is sold out. Thanks for the house Brock!”) so here it is: Goldberg is going to Suplex City! Lesnar doesn’t fear the spear because Goldberg can’t survive the F5. Here’s Goldberg to say the people are here to see us fight, meaning it’s a spear to Lesnar in the aisle. Lesnar is down on the floor as Goldberg poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did one major thing: proved that Wrestlemania is going to be exhausting. They covered most of the Raw contributions on here but sweet goodness there’s A LOT to get to. I know it’s the biggest show of the year but there’s easily enough for two full pay per views this time around.

Tonight’s show did a lot of good hyping up some of the matches and that card rundown made me more fired up for the show than I had been so far, but a lot of the matches are going to feel rushed due to the lack of time. Putting 3-4 on the Kickoff Show can help (it’s not like they don’t have the extra time) a lot and I’m hoping they manage to give the show as much of a balance as they can. This was a good enough show (I’m sure the lack of Stephanie isn’t connected) though and it did its job, which is all that matters.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax/Charlotte – Bayley to Belly to Charlotte

Austin Aries b. Noam Dar – Last Chancery

An Over the Top Rope Challenge went to a no contest

Neville b. Jack Gallagher – Rings of Saturn

Sami Zayn b. Kevin Owens – Rollup

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6