Monday Night Raw – March 13, 2017: Marching on Together

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 13, 2017
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the final show in the famous Joe Louis Arena and we’re getting closer to Wrestlemania XXXIII. The big story seems to be Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns, which was made official earlier in the day. That leaves the Universal Title match between Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, assuming one or both of them are actually booked for the show. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Ron Bass.

We open with a recap of Lesnar taking Goldberg out last week.

Here are Paul Heyman and Lesnar to open things up. Heyman can’t believe that something happened last week because Goldberg was supposed to be unstoppable. In twenty nights at Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to prove the world wrong and destroy Goldberg in short order. Heyman teases Goldberg being here but says the champ isn’t in the arena. Every time Lesnar has run into Goldberg it’s been spear, Jackhammer, Goldberg. Last week though it was F5, Lesnar. At Wrestlemania, it’s an F5 to end the great comeback because the F5 means Goldberg goes down. I still don’t know why I’d want to see this match again.

Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley are in the back with Stephanie talking about how Foley isn’t the best businessman. She’s his manager and needs to develop him so he can grow in abilities. Tonight it’s time for Foley’s first lesson: by the end of the night, he needs to fire someone.

Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke

Dana takes her into the corner to start but gets rolled (with a handful of tights) for the pin at 1:18. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Post match Charlotte gets in the ring and yells at Dana for losing. She sounds like she’s about to fire Dana but Dana hits her in the face and the beating is on. Charlotte eventually gets away from a yelling Dana.

Eric LeGrande, a former Rutgers football player who suffered a spinal injury, is getting the Warrior Award.

Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese vs. Akira Tozawa/TJ Perkins

Kendrick trips Tozawa to start but gets sent to the floor for a kick from Perkins as we take a break. Back with Nese forearming Tozawa in the face and grabbing a bodyscissors. Tozawa finally gets up and dives over for the tag as everything breaks down. Nese knees Perkins in the face for two but gets caught by a good looking springboard DDT for the same. Another knee sets up some face communication though as Perkins crashes into Tozawa, setting up a rollup with a handful of Perkins’ tights for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Raw has however many writers and bookers and we get two straight matches ending in a rollup with a handful of tights? You can’t throw feet on the ropes or something like that? The match itself was a bit disjointed and longer than it needed to be, though I’m still interested in Kendrick vs. Tozawa.

Anderson and Gallows don’t know why they can’t get any attention in the tag team division.

Here’s Kevin Owens (in a snazzy KO Mania II shirt which looks like a Wrestlemania II shirt and a good piece of masking tape) for a tag match. Before anyone else comes out though, Owens says it’s time to get the spotlight back where it belongs. After a clip of the Festival of Friendship, Owens says Jericho was never his friend and the feeling was mutual. Then he’ll take the US Title at Wrestlemania, leaving only the tears of Jericho. “Cry them out man.” Besides, who needs Jericho when you have a destroyer on your side?

Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe vs. Sami Zayn/Chris Jericho

Owens starts with Jericho but Kevin tags out instead of fighting (like a good heel is supposed to do). Sami comes in and takes a beating of his own, including a backsplash from Joe. It’s back to Owens who catches Jericho with a superkick off the apron, only to have Sami hit a big flip dive but he comes up holding his knee. Owens goes right after the knee and it’s time for some double stomping, drawing a DQ at 3:45.

Rating: C-. I always fall for the selling but the fact that they went to a DQ so fast doesn’t give me good feelings about Sami. You could see the knee hit the ground and then they went to a very fast finish in a match that feels like it should have gone a lot longer than four minutes. It was good while it lasted but this has me worried.

Post match Owens and Jericho go at it until the double teaming gets the better of Chris.

Stephanie suggests that Foley fire Sami Zayn when Nia Jax comes in. Nia wants justice by being added to the Women’s Title match. Stephanie gives her a match with Bayley tonight.

Jinder Mahal demands that he’s not fired tonight because Rusev was holding him back. He wants a match to prove himself, so Foley gives him Roman Reigns.

New Day has their own talk show segment called New Day Talks, which means Big Show as their first guest. Big Show talks about the Jetsons movie until Titus O’Neil comes in to call the show stupid. Titus shoves Show as New Day eats popcorn. Woods: “Here’s your lesson: Titus O’Neil ruins everything!”

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

The winners get Anderson and Gallows at Wrestlemania. Before the match, Enzo shills his cuppa haters coffee cup and Cass talks about how they’re not the #1 seed but rather the bracket busters. Cesaro and Sheamus clean house to start before a standoff takes us to the first break. Back with Cesaro blasting Enzo with a clothesline and the double teaming begins. Enzo slips away and makes the hot tag to Cass, who eats a top rope clothesline. Sheamus can’t get the ten forearms as Cass kicks him to the floor, only to have Anderson and Gallows come in for the no contest at 8:01.

Rating: D+. ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING TRIPLE THREATS ALREADY!!! JUST PICK A TEAM OR DROP THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT THESE TITLES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! This is the first match I would cut from the 13 or 14 match Wrestlemania card and now it’s likely going to be a three way instead of just giving Enzo and Cass the belts the next night on Raw which would guarantee a huge pop and also let the pay per view breathe a little bit.

Anderson and Gallows destroy both teams.

We look back at the end of last week’s show.

Post break Anderson and Gallows laugh at Foley for getting one over on him because there were no winners. Say it with me: triple threat match.

Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal

An early Samoan drop gets two on Mahal and Roman pounds away in the corner until the Undertaker’s gong strikes. The distraction lets Mahal getting a knee to the face and a sitout slam gets two. Not that it matters as back to back Superman Punches put Jinder away at 2:54.

Post match Reigns calls Undertaker out and we take a break. Back from a break with Reigns still in the ring and Shawn Michaels coming out. Reigns says it’s nice to see him but he wanted to see the Undertaker. Shawn says he saw Reigns get distracted by the gong and that can’t happen going into Wrestlemania. We’re twenty days from Wrestlemania and Undertaker is already in Reigns’ head. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker is going to eat Roman alive.

Reigns says that’s not happening because Undertaker needs to be wondering what it’s going to be like to be in the ring with him. Shawn says he’s in Reigns’ yard but Roman needs to get his head on straight. That’s not enough for Roman, because he remembers Undertaker retired Shawn at Wrestlemania. Come Orlando, Reigns is retiring Undertaker. Reigns goes to leave and gets run over by Braun Strowman, who earns himself a THANK YOU STROWMAN chant.

Stephanie is pleased but Foley is still upset over the firing order. Mick doesn’t want to do it because we’re so close to Wrestlemania (and there’s NO OTHER WRESTLING SHOW for anyone to wrestle on) but Stephanie says do it or she will.

We look back at Austin Aries decking Neville last week and defeating Tony Nese the next night on 205 Live.

Austin Aries vs. Ariya Daivari

Aries forearms him in the face to start before snapping off some armdrags. A nasty backdrop sends Aries face first into the apron. Not that it matters though as Aries hits a neckbreaker onto the knee, followed by the roaring elbow for the pin at 3:48.

Rating: D+. Not enough time for this to go anywhere but I’m glad they’re setting up the Cruiserweight Title match by actually having Aries win a few matches. It’s clear that we’re getting Aries vs. Neville for the title but there’s no need to just throw it out there. Let them build something up instead and make Aries into something serious.

We look at Heyman’s speech again.

Emma is coming.

Titus O’Neil vs. Big Show

A chop, a slam and three chokeslams end Titus at 1:52. That’s all it needed to be.

Billy Jean King Women’s History Month video.

Bayley and Sasha are ready for Nia Jax.

Chris Jericho wants to show the world the real Kevin Owens so next week, the REAL Kevin will be the guest on a special edition of the Highlight Reel. Chris calls the interviewer Tom Phillips but it’s Mike Rome. Jericho doesn’t buy it and puts Tom Phillips on the List.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Non-title. Nia throws her into the corner and then out to the floor for a whip into the steps as we take a break. Back with Bayley wrapping the knee around the ropes for a few kicks. Nia pops back up and stomps away in the corner for the DQ at 7:15. Not enough to rate but that’s two DQ’s to go with two pullings of the tights and a no contest tonight.

Nia throws Bayley into the barricade for good measure.

Next week it’s the Highlight Reel and Braun vs. Roman.

Here’s Stephanie to introduce Foley for the firing announcement. Foley hadn’t been able to think of anyone all night but in the last ten minutes, someone’s name came to him and he knows what to do. After thanking Stephanie, he announces……Stephanie should be fired. Stephanie isn’t pleased (of course) and rips into Foley, who talks about how Stephanie lied to him six months ago when she said she had nothing to do with HHH interfering.

Foley goes on about how HHH makes an army for himself but Stephanie cuts him off mid-insult. Cue HHH to say Foley can say this to his face. Foley says that’s fine but he didn’t think HHH really existed. HHH laughs him off and they go back and forth about how Foley doesn’t need this job and HHH uses his position to abuse his power. HHH says Foley needs to leave and go around the world again telling his sad story, but if he does, his kids can forget about working for WWE.

What Foley needs to do is go backstage and have an epiphany about how much he loves his job before doing whatever Stephanie tells him to do. Foley turns to leave but stops as Stephanie rants against the people for not respecting their bosses enough. HHH goes after Foley and gets Mr. Socko for his efforts. Stephanie makes the save with a low blow and HHH unbuttons his sleeves. Cue Seth Rollins on a crutch but it’s quickly thrown to the side. Rollins comes in and hammers away but HHH grabs the crutch and hits him in the bad knee. HHH even busts out a reverse Figure Four to make Rollins scream to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a really different kind of show as they were getting ready for Wrestlemania so most of the wrestling and action wasn’t important (hence all the DQ’s etc). They pushed towards Wrestlemania here and that’s exactly what they needed to do. We already know most of the card so there’s not much of a point to adding anything new (save for a triple threat match of course). The show wasn’t the best but it did its job, which is much more important.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Rollup with a handful of tights

Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick b. Akira Tozawa/TJ Perkins – Rollup with a handful of tights

Sami Zayn/Chris Jericho b. Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe via DQ when Joe and Owens double teamed Jericho

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Cesaro/Sheamus when Anderson and Gallows interfered

Roman Reigns b. Jinder Mahal – Superman Punch

Austin Aries b. Ariya Daivari – Roaring Elbow

Big Show b. Titus O’Neil – Chokeslam

Bayley b. Nia Jax via DQ when Nia attacked in the corner

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Main Event – March 2, 2017: Take a Lesson From TNA

Main Event
Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, R-Truth

It’s a month away from Wrestlemania and that means it’s time to watch some of the talent who has little chance of making it to the main shows more often than not. Raw has been up and down lately and I’m not sure why some of the bigger names from around here (work with me) hasn’t been bumped up to jobbers to the stars status on the big show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sin Cara vs. Bo Dallas

They trade some quick takedowns to start until Cara scores with his springboard elbow to the jaw. It’s WAY too early for the Swanton though and Cara has to settle for a running flip dive off the apron. Dallas sends him into the apron for a near countout, followed by his elevated swinging neckbreaker for two. He charges into raised boots in the corner though and the Swanton gives Cara the pin at 3:59.

Rating: D+. So much for Dallas being ready to move up to the main roster. I really don’t get how they decide the winners on this show as it really does feel like there’s no particular rhyme or reason to almost anything they do. Dallas is one of the regular big winners on this show and now he’s losing clean to Sin Cara in just a few minutes. TNA’s bad days had more consistent booking than this show.

To Raw!

Here’s Goldberg to get things going. He thanks the fans for their chants but gets straight to the point: he’s winning the title at Fastlane with his son cheering him on. This brings out Kevin Owens to say what he really thinks about Goldberg. When he got to this company, Owens promised to grab this company by the throat and show WWE what he was really about.

Then he beat John Cena in his first match, followed by beating Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles, Seth Rollins and the Big Dog himself, Roman Reigns. Now why should Goldberg be any different? Goldberg likes the speech and wants to fight right now but Owens doesn’t think Green Bay deserves to see him fight. They’ll fight on Sunday and the Goldberg chants die.

Back to Raw, which we never left!

We get a long video on the long history of HHH making Seth Rollins. They’ve been together for years but then Rollins hurt his knee which HHH referred to as dropping the ball. Rollins is injured but the question is can he get back in time.

Here’s Rollins, on crutches, for a sitdown interview with Corey Graves. He doesn’t know where he is mentally now but it seems that he’s in Chicago because we get a freaking CM PUNK chant. Thankfully it’s loudly booed and Seth can get back to the point. He’s not sure if he can continue at this point and as of right now, the doctors haven’t cleared him for Wrestlemania.

This brings out HHH and Samoa Joe with the former talking about how Rollins has no idea what he’s doing here. HHH knows Rollins isn’t going to Wrestlemania because that’s how he is. It was HHH who handed him the title and then Rollins bit the hand that feeds him. Rollins didn’t mind reaping the benefits along the way but now he’s treating HHH like this.

Seth needs to make the right decision and not come to Wrestlemania because HHH is done playing with him. If Rollins shows up there, it’s the last thing he’ll ever do in a WWE ring. HHH goes to leave but Seth cuts him off and says he’ll be in Orlando and it’s going to be the last thing HHH ever does.

Ariya Daivari vs. Gran Metalik

Daivari takes him down by the arm and we’re off to a break thirty seconds in. Back with Ariya missing a splash in the corner and getting caught with a middle rope hurricanrana. They trade some hard strikes to the face before Daivari grabs a Rainmaker of all things for two. Why is it for two? BECAUSE THE RAINMAKER IS JUST A CLOTHESLINE! Not that it matters as the Metalik Driver is good for the pin at 6:38. Not enough to rate but this was nothing too special anyway. I do like Metalik though.

And now, the grand finale.

It’s time for the contract signing with Mick Foley running the show. Strowman doesn’t think much of him and says he would have respected him back in the day when Foley was competition. Foley finally snaps and yells at Strowman, basically threatening to get physical because he’s still a legend, even if he won’t be the General Manager that much longer.

Cue Reigns to start the fight, which quickly heads into the crowd. Strowman beats on him even more until Reigns spears him through the barricade and a security guard in the process. Back in and Reigns stops to sign the contract but gets sent into the corner so hard that the top rope breaks. Strowman leaves and Reigns signs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If you ignore the Main Event exclusive stuff, this was a good go home show for Fastlane. Unfortunately that’s only kind of what this show is supposed to be, though I’m assuming the short second break was there for the sake of the long HHH vs. Rollins segment. This really does serve as a good recap of Raw but if you’ve already watched that show, there’s no need to ever watch Main Event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – January 26, 2017: Now With 100% Less Horrible Arm Injuries!

Main Event
Date: January 26, 2017
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries

Hopefully we can get by without another broken arm. It should be interesting to see where they go with no Darren Young for a change as he’s been the one constant of this show, which isn’t the best idea in the world. It’s also the final show before the Royal Rumble so expect some high quality highlight packages. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Lince Dorado vs. Brian Kendrick

After Aries tells us that Dorado used to be a meringue champion, Kendrick is sent head first into the buckle and then out to the floor. A baseball slide takes Dorado down and we have a jarred knee. Back in and the knee is fine enough for a moonsault press onto Brian for two, followed by a hurricanrana for the same. A springboard Stunner gives Dorado another two but the shooting star hits knee, setting up the Captain’s Hook for the tap at 5:10.

Rating: C+. I was really surprised here but the match was a lot better than I was expecting. Dorado is fine for a generic cruiserweight and his offense was rolling until the end. Kendrick is still very hit or miss and while I’m rarely a fan of someone winning with two offensive moves in a five minute match, this was a very nice match.

To Raw!

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending but Reigns starts fast and knocks him to the floor for a running dropkick. Back from an early break with Owens on commentary and telling Byron to shut up. Naturally we LOOK AT THE ANNOUNCERS’ TABLE TO SEE PEOPLE TALKING while the match is going on. Jericho grabs a chinlock as the announcers pepper Owens about his upcoming title defense.

Ever the arrogant heel, Jericho slaps Reigns in the face a few times so Roman uppercuts him out of the air. The Samoan drop into a rollup is botched so Jericho hammers away, only to have the drop hit a few seconds later. The Superman Punch is countered with a dropkick but the Codebreaker is easily powered away. Now the Superman Punch connects but Owens comes in for the DQ at 9:45.

Rating: C-. This was fine while it lasted and thank goodness they didn’t change the title back already. Owens interfering is fine and thankfully they didn’t have another champ lose all over again. The match wasn’t terrible and Reigns wasn’t entirely booed out of the building so this is one of the better possible outcomes.

Post match Reigns is beaten down but manages to lock Owens in the cage and spear Jericho. Coolish moment I guess, though wouldn’t it make more sense to have Jericho locked in the cage and beat Owens down as a preview for Sunday?

Video on HHH winning the 2002 Royal Rumble.

From Raw again.

Sami Zayn vs. Seth Rollins

Only the winner goes to the Rumble. It’s a feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about how these two used to be friends and even roommates. Neither can get anywhere in the first few minutes so Seth turns it into a fist fight and scores with a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Seth missing the springboard knee and getting caught in the Blue Thunder Bomb so CUE THE CROWD REACTION SHOTS!!!

A Michinoku Driver gets two more on Seth but Rollins runs the corner and throws Sami down for the Blockbuster. Seth grabs the Falcon’s Arrow for two more and a jumping knee to the face just sounds painful. There’s the Sling Blade but Sami reverses the Pedigree into a tornado DDT.

The Helluva Kick misses but Sami backdrops him to the floor for a big crash. Back in and a sunset powerbomb gets two more on Seth, followed by the exploder into the corner. Rollins bails to the apron and manages a Pedigree to knock Sami cold…..and here’s HHH. Or at least his music hits, allowing Sami to small package Rollins at 15:57.

Rating: B-. This match had some of WWE’s greatest hits for stupid ideas, including ALL THE CROWD REACTION SHOTS and that stupid music fake out. I’m looking forward to Wrestlemania but unfortunately it’s so we can get done with this HHH vs. Rollins feud. Why in the world we need to sit around and wait for so many months on this feud isn’t clear but odds are it’s “well, you can’t expect TRIPLE H to lower himself to any other show.”

Shawn Michaels won the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke

Rematch from last week. Brooke hiptosses her down and does a one arm pushup (Aries: “I usually do no arm push-ups.”) but gets headscissored into an armbar. An arm crank sends Dana outside and we take a break. Back with Dana stomping away in the corner and slapping on a bodyscissors. Brooke’s cartwheel moonsault hits knees and Fox gets in the northern lights suplex for two of her own. The ax kick puts Brooke away at 10:10.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as they basically did the exact same thing last week. Fox is in a weird place as she’s talented enough to beat up some of the women but WAY out of her league against the top of the division. Brooke has fallen off a cliff lately and I don’t see a way back up for her at the moment.

One more Raw trip to wrap us up.

Here’s Goldberg for the closing segment. The chants cut him off and Goldberg seems to forget his lines a few times. He finally gets them right by talking about facing twenty nine other men in the Royal Rumble for the right to face Owens or Reigns. Cue Paul Heyman to talk about who Goldberg might be facing on Sunday. It could be Randy Orton, Braun Strowman or even this man: Brock Lesnar. Brock comes out while Heyman keeps talking but Goldberg says get in here. The fight is almost on when the gong strikes. Undertaker shows up and we get the big three way staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much to see on this one with the first match being fun but meaningless and the second match being something we saw just last week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill Main Event with the highlights carrying things as far as they’re going to be able to.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – February 2, 2017: It Almost Rocks

Main Event
Date: February 2, 2017
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Austin Aries, Byron Saxton

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania and hopefully that means Main Event ups its talent for a change. It’s hard to say what we’ll be getting here as it almost always the case, which makes for some interesting shows. Some star power, even in the short term, would be nice around here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sin Cara vs. Bo Dallas

Aries says he’s feeling bo-tivated. I’ll just leave you with that one and move on to Cara armdragging Dallas out of the corner for the first real offense. That earns Cara a neckbreaker and some knees to the back of the head, followed by a chinlock. Back up and Cara sends him to the floor for a suicide dive, followed by a springboard moonsault press for two back inside. The Swanton Bomb gives Cara the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Cara winning over a heavyweight, even one who doesn’t do much, is a good idea as there’s no reason to suggest that someone who has been around for several years would have an issue just because he’s fighting someone a bit heavier than he is.

Video on Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens from Royal Rumble.

From Raw.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Owens is defending and I’ll put the over/under for Reigns interfering at four minutes. Jericho is on commentary and for some reason, Strowman goes over and chokeslams him through the table. Owens bails to the floor at the bell and some right hands have no effect. A dropkick puts Strowman on the floor but he runs Kevin over with ease back inside.

Kevin is knocked into the barricade and this is one sided so far. The way too long charge sends Strowman head first into the post though and Owens adds a Cannonball against the barricade. A backsplash and frog splash give Owens two but Strowman comes back with the powerslam. Cue Reigns though and it’s a DQ at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This might as well have been a big countdown to Reigns coming out and going after Strowman, which is probably one of the top matches at Fastlane. It’s not the most interesting match in the world but if Strowman goes over, it could mean something.

Roman Superman Punches and spears Strowman but Braun pops up.

From Raw again.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman talks about how every legend has an asterisk next to his name because there’s always an exception. Andre the Giant was undefeated for fifteen years until Hulk Hogan beat him. Ronda Rousey was undefeated until she met Holly Holm. People like John Cena and Kurt Angle have amazing legacies but BROCK LESNAR. That leaves Goldberg as the argument against Brock and that must be eradicated. We get to the point: Lesnar wants one more fight with Goldberg at Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil

This is certainly an upgrade. The trio takes over on Epico to start with Kofi kicking him in the chest to set up Big E.’s Warrior splash for two. All six wind up in the ring and New Day puts on a triple abdominal stretch with spankings. Back from a break with Titus coming in off a blind tag and suplexing Woods. It’s off to Primo for a slingshot splash and armbar but Woods enziguris Titus down and it’s Kofi time. The SOS gets two on Primo and everything breaks down. Epico hits the Backstabber on Kofi but a quick Midnight Hour puts Epico away at 10:36.

Rating: C-. Standard six man here and I can even forgive having to sit through Titus against New Day again. It really does help to have someone that the fans care about in a match on this show after all the weeks of Darren Young. The Shining Stars are fine enough in the ring and there’s nothing wrong with being jobbers to the stars.

Video on Seth Rollins’ return from injury.

We’ll wrap it up with this.

Here’s HHH to talk about Rollins. HHH goes over his history with Rollins and takes credit for most of his success. With HHH by his side, Rollins would become the man and the face of the WWE. All Rollins had to do was hold up his end of the bargain but then his knee gave out, which was like spitting in HHH’s face.

Rollins was a failure when he came back because he didn’t take any responsibility for everything falling apart. HHH is the one that deserves an apology because Rollins tried to blame him for everything being a big mess. The reason HHH doesn’t come out here anymore is because he doesn’t want to be the guy that ends careers anymore.

Every day he puts on this suit and ties this tie while trying to be a creator. Every day he tries to create the next Seth Friggin Rollins but now he’s done trying. The jacket and tie come off, drawing a HHH chant. HHH calls Rollins out so here we go….but SAMOA JOE makes his debut and lays Rollins out from behind. Joe annihilates Rollins as HHH leaves. The fans are very happy with Joe as he Koquina Clutches Rollins out to end the show, wrenching Seth’s knee in the process.

Overall Rating: C. I can’t emphasize enough how much it helped to have someone like New Day on this show. They weren’t in any danger and their match didn’t mean anything but it helped so much to have them on the show and doing something instead of the usual old acts. The stuff from Raw helped a lot too, making this one of the better episodes in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Seth Rollins Possibly Injured on Raw

http://wrestlingrumors.net/seth-rollins-injured-raw/

No word on if this is a work or not but signs point to a shoot. It’s very convenient storyline wise but it very well could be legit. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.

Monday Night Raw – January 30, 2017: JOE IS GONNA DE-BUT! JOE IS GONNA DE-BUT!

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 30, 2017
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re past the Royal Rumble and that means we have about five weeks before Fastlane, which is getting close to the Wrestlemania season. The big story for Raw last night was Roman Reigns having the World Title won until Braun Strowman cost him the title, likely setting up something down the line. Other than that we have Stephanie McMahon confronting Seth Rollins for calling HHH out at Takeover: San Antonio. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a ticked off Kevin Owens and a less ticked off Chris Jericho to start things off. Owens is happy to have proven Mick Foley wrong when he beat Roman Reigns because he is the best, the guy and the one. Owens thanks Jericho for having the guts to get in the cage last night and brings up Jericho breaking the record for the most time spent in the Royal Rumble.

Jericho has spent nearly five hours in the match (Over nine Rumbles, which breaks HHH’s record of just over four hours in the same number of Rumbles. That’s VERY impressive.) and of course Chris gets in some bragging. The only reason he didn’t win was a terrible case of vertigo….and here’s Braun Strowman to cut them off.

Braun cuts Owens off and says he did what he did because he can’t stand Roman but now he wants the title shot that Owens promises. Kevin backs off so Braun shows us a video of Owens promising him the shot. Strowman wants his chance tonight but here’s Mick, in a full green plaid suit, to interrupt. Foley doesn’t seem to care about Owens being banged up and makes the match for later.

Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. They fight over a wristlock to start until Sami takes over with those armdrags. If it works for Ricky Steamboat, it can work for Sami. They head outside with Sami scoring with a dropkick and the moonsault off the barricade takes us to a break. Back with Jericho getting two off an enziguri and a top rope hurricanrana, only to dive into the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Jericho bails to the floor for a chase scene, capped off by a tornado DDT back inside. The Helluva Kick is countered into the Walls but Sami is right next to the ropes. The exploder sets up the Helluva Kick to give Sami the clean pin at 11:49.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and I’m all for Sami getting a pay per view title match. You can also go with the fact that Jericho was in the Rumble for an hour last night to explain the loss away a bit. The rematch should be fun too and if it means Sami getting a title, there’s nothing bad to be seen.

Bayley wants Cesaro and Sheamus to hug before their six person tag later tonight. Charlotte, Anderson and Gallows come in to laugh a bit.

Long video on Seth Rollins vs. HHH. They cover pretty much everything here, save for WHY HHH DID THIS FIVE MONTHS AGO that is.

Owens tries to talk Stephanie out of the title match but she has to deal with Rollins first.

Tony Nese vs. Mustafa Ali

Nese runs him over to start and hits a hard crossface forearm to the face. They trade clotheslines and it’s Ali hitting a rolling neckbreaker for two. Nese breaks up the inverted 450 and Ali takes a NASTY looking crash. Thankfully he’s ok enough to take the running knee to the face to give Tony the pin at 3:52.

Rating: C. Nese is starting to grow on me and would be a solid choice for a midcard heel in the division. The posing makes him look like a huge heel and that’s exactly what the division needs right now. Not exactly a heel, but more characters with basic development. Ali is the same as he’s a solid hand in the ring and a few tweaks could make him quite valuable.

Post match Austin Aries asks Nese about his lack of charisma but Tony says he doesn’t have to answer his critics.

Here’s Rollins to call out Stephanie for a little change of pace. Rollins knows Stephanie is disappointed that he called her out but she disappoints her husband every night. Stephanie laughs off the insults (of course) and we hear about how she wants HHH to stay away because Rollins is bringing the dark side out of her husband.

Rollins hasn’t been a champion since Money in the Bank and missed Wrestlemania last year because of injury so the Authority, and Stephanie in particular, deserves an apology. Rollins apologizes for exposing HHH as a gutless snake that he is because HHH won’t face him like a man.

HHH is scared because he knows Rollins is the greatest threat to HHH’s legacy ever. Seth goes a step further and suggests that Stephanie knows it too but she says Seth disgusts him. That earns a threat of Rollins invading the next Board of Directors meetings or showing up at Stephanie’s front door. “What’s going to happen when one of your kids answers the front door Steph?” Stephanie says she lied: HHH is on his way tonight. Seth actually saved a lot of face here and that’s the best possible outcome for him.

Bayley/Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Charlotte/Anderson and Gallows

The guys start and they’re on the floor for a break less than a minute in. Back with Anderson dropping a knee until Cesaro dives over for the hot tag to Sheamus. House is quickly cleaned until Charlotte breaks up the ten forearms. That goes as well as you would expect so it’s an assisted White Noise for two on Gallows. It’s off to the women and a quick Bayley to Belly puts Charlotte away at 7:30.

Rating: C-. This was nothing for the most part but at least it sets up Bayley vs. Charlotte II, despite Charlotte winning clean last night. They couldn’t do a simple hook of the tights or something to give us a reason to have another match? Anyway, this match showed how badly we need a few more tag teams because this feud is nothing.

Stephanie yells at Foley for making the title match for tonight but Mick doesn’t buy her saying that HHH’s music playing last week was just a mistake. Foley hints that HHH won’t be showing up so Stephanie glares him out the door.

Here’s Neville to celebrate his Cruiserweight Title win. The title is his crown but the fans never cared about him no matter what he did. Cue former champion Rich Swann to say he can’t listen to this garbage any longer. Neville is great and Swann respects him for it but Neville demands that Swann kneel before the king. The fight is on and Neville is sent running.

Sasha Banks vents to Bayley about losing and agrees to fight Nia Jax again.

We look at Goldberg eliminating Brock Lesnar last night.

Owens vents about Foley but Jericho implies he won’t have his back tonight.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Roman Superman Punches and spears Strowman but Braun pops up.

Brock Lesnar arrives.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Banks is still banged up coming in and Nia goes right after the bad leg. The knee is sent into the apron and post before we hit a leglock. The referee stops the match at 2:08.

Nia won’t let go of the hold so Bayley comes in for the save.

Rusev/Jinder Mahal vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Texas Tornado rules and we’re ready to go after Enzo and Cass’ big speech. It’s a big brawl to start and we hit the early break. Back with Cass getting double teamed because Enzo is, again, beaten down on the floor. Enzo’s high crossbody is broken up and it’s Amore getting beaten down for a change. Cass fights back and makes the save as Enzo pulls Mahal to the floor. A big boot drops Rusev and the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is enough for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: D+. We’re somehow to the point where Enzo Amore just pinned Rusev. Let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway, these guys are firmly to the point where they’re fighting because they’ve been fighting and there isn’t much of a story to it anymore. Cass needs to beat Rusev in the singles match and move on, maybe towards the belts finally.

HHH arrives.

Sneak peak of WWE 24.

Goldberg will be here next week.

Overall Rating: D+. Other than a few moments here and there (mainly the highlight packages), you wouldn’t know that the Royal Rumble was yesterday. This felt like a long, mostly uninteresting show but at least we’re starting to see Wrestlemania. I mean, Lesnar vs. Goldberg isn’t the most interesting thing in the world and I have a bad feeling it’s going to be for the title but at least it’s something. Joe was the big story tonight though and that’s a very good thing.

Results

Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho – Helluva Kick

Tony Nese b. Mustafa Ali – Running knee

Bayley/Cesaro/Sheamus b. Charlotte/Anderson and Gallows – Bayley to Belly to Charlotte

Braun Strowman b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

Nia Jax b. Sasha Banks via referee stoppage

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Rusev/Jinder Mahal – Bada Boom Shaka Lacka to Rusev

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2015: Let It Go

Royal Rumble 2015
Date: January 25, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,164
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Now this is one I’ve been looking forward to and dreading at the same time. I actually didn’t mind the main event the first time around but ever since then I haven’t been able to think of a single good thing that match did. It should be interesting (hopefully) to see how far this thing has fallen in just a year. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Talk about a year making a big difference. Cesaro and Kidd looked to be the hottest team in years and now they’re both out while New Day, who looked to be a horrible disaster, actually IS the hottest team in years. As usual, time can change so much in wrestling. As usual, Woods is the odd man out here. Adam Rose is here with Kidd/Cesaro for no adequately explained reason but the fans would rather cheer for Cesaro anyway.

Kidd and Big E. get things going as the announcers talk about the Rumble instead. Ok to be fair, it’s a pre-show tag match with nothing on the line so I can live with it here. Big E. grabs a few backbreakers to start before it’s off to Kofi for two off a dropkick. Cesaro comes in for a BIG reaction and you can tell who the star of this match is going to be.

It’s quickly back to Big E. who takes over with a shoulder in the corner, followed by a middle rope cross body from Kofi. Lawler: “I like New Day but I’m excited to see what they’re going to evolve into.” Cesaro and Kidd take Kofi into the corner and I still don’t get why Rose is on the floor. Like, I don’t remember that in the slightest and it’s bizarre to see a year later. The Cesaro Swing into the dropkick (still awesome) gets two and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro holding Kofi in a chinlock but Kingston comes back with a dropkick to Kidd. Big E. starts cleaning house with clotheslines and the fans are REALLY not pleased. Cesaro charges into a Rock Bottom (well close enough to one) out of the corner for two. Kidd is sent to the floor for a flip dive from Kofi, followed by Big E. spearing Cesaro through the ropes for a big crash.

It’s Cesaro on his own against both guys but Big E. is sent outside and Kofi gets kicked in the head, setting up a superplex into a springboard elbow from Kidd for a VERY close two. A sunset flip gets two on Kofi with Cesaro holding Kidd in place for a smart move. Trouble in Paradise is countered into the Sharpshooter but Big E. makes the save with a belly to belly. Rose gets on the apron and gets kicked in the head, only to have Kidd grab a fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin on Kofi at 11:03.

Rating: B-. Well that worked. This is why having a hot tag division is so important: you can wake up the crowd in a match that really doesn’t matter either way because both teams looked great. New Day could clearly go in the ring but it would still be a few months before they really figured it out. Well that and until they were allowed to have some personality, which was the cure all along.

The opening video is about finding the moment that cements what you are. However, there can only be one. Tonight, someone’s moment becomes a reality. The triple threat gets a little attention as well.

New Age Outlaws vs. Ascension

This is fallout from the Outlaws, the NWO and Acolytes beating down the Ascension for not respecting the veterans enough or something. Yeah it ruined another act that was built up for over a year in NXT but HHH’s buddies got a pay per view appearance out of it. Gunn and Viktor get things going and all it takes is a hiptoss to draw the YOU STILL GOT IT chant. Fans get easier to impress every year. Dogg comes in for the shaky knee drop on Konnor but the young guys take over with a chinlock.

As the match slows down (likely so the Outlaws can breathe), JBL regales us with tales of Bullet Bob Armstrong vs. Buddy Colt. Konnor puts on a chinlock and Dogg taps, likely because tapping out wasn’t a thing when he started. The match keeps going anyway with Dogg avoiding an elbow drop, only to be chinlocked down by Viktor. That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Billy to clean house, only to miss the Fameasser and walk into the Fall of Man for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D. And of course this launched the Ascension up the card and into the Tag Team Title scene forevermore. Yeah of course they never recovered after getting beaten down by a bunch of old retired guys and then winning a meaningless match against a long past retired team because…..yeah I think you know why this didn’t work, or at least you should.

We look at Sting saving Cena from Big Show/Kane/Seth Rollins on Raw. Sting isn’t on the show or anything but he had a cameo there of course. Cena winning however did get Dolph Ziggler, Ryback and Erick Rowan their jobs back but Rowan didn’t qualify for the Rumble. At least the match meant something.

The Authority isn’t pleased with Sting doing that WCW nonsense around here. Cue Paul Heyman who says Brock can help with their problems, whatever those are.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Miz

The Usos are defending but Mizdow is the most over guy in the match. Speaking of things that have changed a lot in a year. The Usos took the titles from Miz/Mizdow to close out 2014 so this is the rematch. Jey and Miz get things going and the fans already want Mizdow. Something like a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two on Miz as Cole recap Miz trying to get Naomi on their side with promises of Hollywood fame.

Miz gets crotched on top so Mizdow (gently) does the same, continuing the one idea act that somehow had fans cheering for him. Miz’s top rope ax handle is punched out of the air so Mizdow goes up and dives into a punch from no one. The fans think Mizdow is awesome, meaning it’s time for a chinlock from Miz himself. The Reality Check gets two but Miz won’t tag Mizdow in. Again, this doesn’t make a ton of sense as Miz is making himself wrestle the whole match by himself.

Anyway, Jimmy gets away and tags in Jey to take over with the running Umaga Attack in the corner but Miz grabs a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and both Usos hit a dive to take out both challengers, though Jey almost misses Miz, drawing a rather rude chant from the fans.

Back in and Jey misses the Superfly Splash, allowing Miz to get two off the Skull Crushing Finale. The second attempt at the Splash connects but Mizdow breaks it up, drawing the loudest pop you will EVER hear for a heel breaking up a cover. Mizdow’s Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Jimmy, who superkicks Miz into a powerbomb from Jey. Jimmy’s Superfly Splash retains the titles at 9:20.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here as Miz/Mizdow’s one joke is long past its point of interest and we’re just waiting on Mizdow to turn, which would of course take too long to mean anything as WWE would screw it up again. It really is amazing how far the tag division has fallen in just a year as all the injuries and screwiness have turned the division on its head. The Usos are still the Usos though and that’s all that matters.

The pre-show panel chats a bit and we look at the pre-show match.

J&J Security play the new WWE mobile game until Seth Rollins comes in to yell at them for not being serious enough. Rollins says he’s been called the future but he’s the right now.

Wrestlemania ad. I had forgotten how much I hated that theme song.

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

No idea what the story here is but I’m sure it’s Total Divas related. Nikki and Paige get things going with Paige not being able to Irish whip her. It’s off to Natalya who gets two off a kick to the back of the head. Brie comes in to work on the arm as the announcers joke about which twin is older. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be funny but they certainly think it is. A double suplex puts Brie down and Paige does her slow, crawling cover for two.

Natalya comes in and covers as well but for some reason she isn’t legal. Even Paige is confused as she grabs Brie again and now tags Natalya in all legal like. Brie gets two off a quick slam and it’s back to Nikki for a Hennig neck snap. Lawler: “Name two countries and then a state.” Cole: “It was a joke.” It’s as random as it sounds. Now it’s off to Lawler approving of the Bellas’ looks as they take turns on Natalya for some near falls.

Brie puts on a chinlock for a bit before both Bellas grab a leg and roll forward to flip Natalya onto the back of her head. Nikki puts on a headscissors and does push-ups to drive Natalya’s face mere inches away from the mat. Natalya powers up and drops Nikki on her back for the break and avoids a clothesline, only to have Brie pull Paige off the apron. Nikki’s big forearm puts Natalya away at 8:02.

Rating: D. We don’t even have time for a hot tag? This wasn’t much to see but again, it’s all about the Bellas because they’re the stars on Total Divas and know how to act like the Kardashians or whatever. Nikki would get a lot better after another six months on top of the division or so, but that would be a very long six months.

Roman Reigns says he’ll beat his performance from last year.

Stardust does his usual and Goldust says he’s right.

Rusev says he’ll win and promises to crush whoever wins.

Miz says this is his year and Mizdow repeats everything. Again: that’s not what a stunt double does.

Big Show says he’s not mortal because he’s a giant.

Fandango says no one understands the power of the tango.

YES, Daniel Bryan thinks he can get back to the main event of Wrestlemania.

We recap the triple threat for the World Title. Rollins tried to cash in Money in the Bank on Lesnar at Night of Champions while Cena was challenging, triggering a feud between Rollins and Cena. Tonight they both get their shot in what should be awesome.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The fans just explode on Cena with the JOHN CENA SUCKS song making its return. I was there when it debuted and that’s a pure thing of brilliance. Lesnar on the other hand is treated…..well about how you would expect Philadelphia to react to him. Rollins bails to start and there’s the first German suplex to Cena. Another one drops Cena again so J&J come in, only to get a German of their own.

Rollins kicks Cena in the head but gets pulled inside to face Brock all alone. It’s time for more German suplexes and the fans loudly applaud. There’s a regular suplex to Rollins and we get an ECW chant. Brock grabs a Kimura on Cena but John lifts him up, allowing Seth to springboard in with a knee to the champ. Cena and Rollins get smart and double team Lesnar, only to have Seth throw John to the floor for one off an AA.

Brock pops up like a daisy and sends both of them outside, only to have Rollins knock him into the steps. As J&J are in a heap next to the barricade, Cena starts his usual finishing sequence on Rollins but Lesnar breaks up the Shuffle with another German suplex. Seth breaks up the rolling Germans though as he needs Cena to help fight against Brock. Makes sense. A knee to the back puts Brock on the floor but the champ is right back in for the save as Seth covers Cena.

Back up and Cena throws Rollins to the floor and actually drops Brock with some clotheslines. Seth pulls Cena outside and tries a springboard, only to get caught in a big F5. That is some terrifying strength. Brock loads up a table for some reason so Cena gives him three straight AA’s for two with Rollins making a last second save. There’s a Curb Stomp from Seth and this time Cena has to dive in and break up the cover. The fans think this is awesome (indeed) as everyone heads outside, where Cena spears Lesnar through the barricade.

Brock keeps getting up so Cena throws him into the steps and blasts him in the face for good measure, knocking the champ onto the announcers’ table. Rollins feels left out so he drives Brock through with a HUGE top rope elbow and Cena is the only one standing. The non-Lesnars head back inside and Seth hits a quick low superkick for two. The AA doesn’t work so Cena Batista Bombs him for a VERY near fall.

Not to be outdone, Rollins reverses a superplex attempt into a running Buckle Bomb for two more. Both guys are spent so Rollins tries a Curb Stomp, only to get caught in the STF. Cue J&J from their comas for the save as a stretcher comes out for Brock. There’s a TripleBomb for two on Cena but he ducks a briefcase shot and AA’s both J’s at the same time. He should not be able to do that twenty minutes into a match this physical. Or any match for that matter.

Another AA gets two on Rollins and the Curb Stomp gets the same on Cena as the fans are freaking out on these kickouts. We’re told Brock has at least a broken rib as Rollins busts out the Phoenix Splash on Cena. Not that it matters as a TICKED OFF Brock gets back in for some German suplexes, only to have Seth hit him in the face with the briefcase. Rollins loads up a Curb Stomp onto the case but you don’t try that on Lesnar, as he counters with a HUGE F5 to retain at 22:42.

Rating: A. Good grief what a battle. This was the night where Rollins became a star and people knew that he was going to be champion soon. Cena put in his normal amazing performance here as well, but good night Brock looked like a monster. This is the beast that WWE wanted to build up for someone to take down and it worked perfectly here. Just outstanding action here with all three looking like they had been through a war. This was the instant match of the year leader and it would take something special to knock it off.

Brock walks off as the medics are stunned.

Rumble By The Numbers video.

Royal Rumble

Good luck following that. Miz is #1 and R-Truth is #2 with 90 second intervals. They start slowly (smart here) until Truth gets in a few pelvic thrusts. Truth is sent to the apron a few times and gets crotched on the top until Bubba Ray Dudley makes a big surprise return at #3. You think that might wake the Philadelphia fans up a bit? Bubba is fired up to start and gives Miz the Dusty punches before R-Truth plays D-Von (I’m not touching that one) on What’s Up.

Now it’s table time but Miz gets up, only to be put back down with a 3D. There go Miz and Truth as Luke Harper is in at #4 for a hoss fight. They slug it out boo/yay style but Harper elbows out of a Bubba Bomb. A big clothesline drops Harper but Bray Wyatt is in at #5. Bubba isn’t sure what to make of him and Bray does his big freaky smile. The fans want D-Von (fair enough idea) but Bray sends Bubba into a clothesline and dumps him a few seconds later.

Harper and Wyatt stare at each other and Curtis Axel is in at #6, only to have Erick Rowan jump him from behind and destroy him, kicking off Axelmania because Axel was never officially eliminated. Rowan (not part of the Family at this point) gets in and teases a reunion against Bray, only to be quickly double teamed. Erick almost gets Harper out but Bray dumps them both and points to the sign. In another surprise return, the Boogeyman is in at #7. Cole: “It’s the eater of worlds against the eater of worms!” His entrance takes forever and Bray dumps him like the jobber that he is.

Sin Cara is in at #8 and gets in a few shots, only to get punched out of the air. Sister Abigail sets up another elimination and Bray is on a roll. With no one to fight, Bray grabs a mic and issues an open challenge to everyone in the back because this is his year. It’s time to sing until Zack Ryder is in at #9 (apparently returning from shoulder surgery), only to be eliminated even faster than Cara.

NOW things get interesting as Daniel Bryan is in at #10 to one of the loudest reactions you’ll hear since…..well since the last time Bryan was in a big match probably. Daniel speeds things up a lot with some running dropkicks in the corner as JBL tells Bryan not to go so hard because he needs to pace himself. Preach it JBL. A middle rope hurricanrana puts Bray down and it’s Fandango in at #11. Well that’s quite the drop in star power. He goes after Bryan but stops to dance, allowing Bryan to flip out of a belly to back suplex.

We go old school (way old school actually) with an airplane spin until Tyson Kidd (with his sweet theme song) is in at #12. A springboard missile dropkick drops Bryan and Fandango is quickly dropped into the corner, leaving Kidd and Bryan to slug it out in what could rock with about fifteen minutes. Stardust is in at #13, with Cole saying it’s his Rumble debut. No Cole, no it’s not. I get what he’s going for and no Cole, no it’s not.

Fandango and Stardust take turns skinning the cat before Stardust takes out the knee to get Fandango in trouble. Bryan eliminates Kidd but Bray is back up, only to be knocked through the ropes and out to the floor. You know that means a suicide dive from Daniel, followed by Diamond Dallas Page in at #14 for another surprise. Stardust is right on him but there’s the first Diamond Cutter. JBL: “Do they teach that in yoga class?”

Fandango takes Page down but gets crotched on top, setting up a super Diamond Cutter for a very nice pop. Bray pounds on Page but takes a Diamond Cutter of his own, which is one step too far. The guy is a monster and shouldn’t get dropped by a retired legend. Rusev comes in at #15 and superkicks Page before eliminating him. Side note: put Page in the Hall of Fame already. He has the resume and he’s worthy of canonization after what he accomplished with Roberts and Hall.

Rusev dumps Fandango and puts Bryan on the apron, allowing Bray to knock Daniel out. That right there is pretty much it for this Rumble meaning anything as we now know it’s all about Reigns, even though the fans aren’t going to be interested no matter what. I know you can’t have Bryan win here, but you could at least give him a run near the end. This was a bad idea and the DANIEL BRYAN chants starting up a minute after he’s gone don’t bode well for the rest of the show.

Goldust is in at #16, giving us Goldust, Stardust, Rusev and Wyatt. The brothers go after each other for a bit until Kofi Kingston is in at #17. Kofi goes after Bray as the fans are booing everything presented to them no matter how watchable it is. All five wind up in one corner for some reason with no eliminations until Adam Rose is in at #18. The Rosebuds do the full entrance and catch Kofi as he’s launched over the top for his annual save. Rusev dumps Rose with ease and kicks Kofi out a few seconds later to get us back to four. Roman Reigns is in at #19 and oh man this is going to be good.

The fans go nuts on Reigns as he fires off the running corner clotheslines and gets rid of Goldust and Stardust in rapid succession. Big E. is in at #20 and only gets kind of booed. Rusev is right on him and that gets booed loudly out of pure spite. Rusev hits a quick Cannonball on Big E. and it’s Damien Mizdow in at #21 for a bit of relief from the fans. Miz cuts him off and wants the spot but Reigns shoves him down and Damien, egged on by the crowd, goes in as well.

Mizdow cleans some house but is thrown out by Rusev in less than twenty seconds. Dang they really don’t want the fans to cheer anything tonight do they? Well other than Reigns of course. Jack Swagger is in at #22 and gets in a few nice shots until Bray cuts him off. We’ve got Wyatt, Swagger, Reigns, Big E. and Rusev at the moment until Ryback is in at #23. That means more power brawling with Meat Hooks and suplexes all around. Bray and Rusev continue their loose alliance to to get Ryback in trouble and there’s a CM Punk chant for the latest false hope.

Kane is in at #24 and you know the people aren’t happy with that. The match slows down a bit with Kane putting Ryback on the apron and Big E. doing the same thing to Swagger. Those attempts go as far as you would expect and it’s Dean Ambrose in at #25 to give the fans something to actually cheer for. Dean goes for Rusev to start but has to stop a charging Kane. The fans are WAY into Ambrose as he’s the first guy they’ve wanted to cheer for in about fifteen minutes.

Titus O’Neil is in at #26 and put out in four seconds by Ambrose and Reigns. So much for that one. The ring is getting too full and Intercontinental Champion Bad News Barrett makes it even worse at lucky #27. Everyone brawls against the ropes until it’s Cesaro in at #28. Cesaro fires off a bunch of European uppercuts but he can only get Ambrose to the apron. Rusev dropkicks Big E. out to clear a little room but Big Show takes his place at #29.

Everyone goes after him but Show throws them away before starting a chokeslam contest with Kane. There goes Ryback thanks to both giants and Show dumps Swagger. A chokeslam sends Rusev rolling out under the ropes and it’s Dolph Ziggler in at #30 (Remember when “who is #30” was the big question every year? Now it’s just another entrant. It’s kind of sad really.), giving us a final grouping of Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Kane, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro, Big Show and Ziggler.

Here’s the thing: that’s actually a stacked final set of people. Wyatt, Rusev, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro and Ziggler are crowd favorites, Big Show and Kane are at least good monsters to conquer and Reigns is…..well that other group is really popular. The problem here is NO ONE but Reigns has a chance and the entire audience knows it, making this inevitable rather than anything interesting.

Ziggler superkicks the giants and takes them both down with the running DDT. Barrett is sent to the apron and superkicked out but Ziggler gets caught in the Cesaro Swing. Cesaro sends him to the apron but Dolph gets him to the apron for a superkick and an elimination, only to have Big Show and Kane put Ziggler out. That also gives Kane the all time record for Rumble eliminations.

The giants throw Bray out like he’s no one (thanks for the 47 minutes Bray) and the fans are getting even angrier than they already were. So it’s Ambrose/Reigns vs. Big Show/Kane with Rusev forgotten on the floor. Roman is bleeding from the mouth as he clotheslines Show down but he and Dean can’t get rid of the bigger giant. Kane boots Roman in the face and the KO Punch knocks Dean silly, giving the giants an easy elimination. Reigns is suddenly even less popular as the inevitability gets that much closer. Even Cole acknowledges that the fans hate this.

Reigns fights back and the booing gets even louder until Kane and Show start fighting, because the last SIXTEEN YEARS of these two fighting isn’t enough. They fight next to the ropes and Reigns gets up for a double elimination, actually sending the fans into silence for the win.

Kane and Big Show get back in and beat Roman down even more, complete with a double chokeslam. The fans remember that Rusev is still in but here’s the Rock to help save his cousin. He cleans house and drops both giants to a nice reaction until Reigns Superman Punches Show into a Rock Bottom. Rock leaves and Rusev gets back in, only to get speared and eliminated to really give Roman the win at 59:31.

Rating: D-. WOW. This is somehow so much worse than I remember it as WWE was clearly going out of its way to clear the path for Roman but the fans were having none of it. The problem here is a simple one: there was never any drama. Look back at 2012 for a second. The final two were Chris Jericho and Sheamus, neither of whom were interesting choices to win. However, the final three minutes of that match are AWESOME as you really didn’t know who was going to win and both guys had a real chance. That’s the easiest way to get fans to like the Rumble, or really most matches.

This Rumble is really more like 1993 than anything else. That was the year of Yokozuna and everyone knew it, though there was the slightest chance of the Undertaker winning it. However, Undertaker went out in the middle of the match and the rest was just a waiting game to see who was on Yokozuna’s victim list.

That’s exactly what happened here. Everyone knew Reigns was the heavy favorite no matter who they wanted to win and the ONLY person with a real chance of beating him was Bryan. This year Bryan was the twelfth man eliminated, leaving about thirty five minutes left in the match. That’s a long time for the fans to sit around with little to no hope as things get worse and worse. The best false hope they had for the rest of the match was Ambrose and that just wasn’t going to happen.

On top of that, you have Big Show and Kane as the big bads for Reigns to conquer. That’s fine on paper, until you look at all the papers labeled “Raw Results” where you see how many times he and everyone else has beaten both of them. Instead of some group of the popular guys at the end, it was Kane and Big Show for the first ending. Then there’s Rusev for the false hope spot but Reigns destroyed him too before winning.

So yeah, this was one big mess all designed for Reigns to look like a hero and it failed miserably. It boils down to a simple concept that actually takes me back to the Russo days to a degree: you have to earn it. The problem here is Reigns hasn’t really accomplished anything to earn this spot and the fans are rejecting him. Austin dominating the 1998 Rumble worked because the fans had seen Austin go through a lot of wars to earn the right to be the top dog. Reigns’ big moment was a win over Randy Orton at Summerslam 2014. That’s not exactly huge and the fans hadn’t forgotten.

Ignoring the Reigns part for a minute, this was a really dull match. Bubba was a cool surprise and Page was good for a Diamond Cutter, but Boogeyman? Other than that and Bray’s dominance (which went nowhere), this was really dull stuff. Kofi being caught by the Rosebuds was a good quick chuckle but really low on his list of saves. Just a horrible Rumble from start to finish with only a few bright spots throughout.

Rock poses with Reigns and the fans STILL boo. The Authority comes out to glare a lot as Reigns celebrates and points at the sign to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah this was bad. The triple threat is the only thing keeping this from being a disaster as the rest of the card is a bunch of nothing tags and then a disaster of a Rumble for the last third. The Rumble itself really is that bad and drags an already bad show down even lower. It’s balanced out a bit by the triple threat but twenty two minutes of awesome can’t make up for an hour of horrible. Terrible show here and thankfully WWE finally figured out that Reigns wasn’t ready yet, because he just wasn’t here.

Ratings Comparison

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Original: B

Redo: B-

Ascension vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

Original: D-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: A

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

How in the world did I add that one up last year?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/01/25/royal-rumble-2015-more-teasing-than-a-15-year-old-on-prom-night/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – January 23, 2017: One Out Of Two Isn’t Bad

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2017
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. The build has taken quite a long time and it would be a good idea to get us done with the show so we can move on to the build towards Wrestlemania. It would also help to know what we can expect from the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns losing the US Title two weeks back.

Here’s Reigns to open things up with the shark cage in the ring with him. Reigns says in six days, 40,000 people are going to pack the Alamo Dome when he wins the Universal Title. This brings out Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho with the former talking about all the people Reigns has powerbombed through the announcers’ table. Owens is the only person to powerbomb him back and Jericho talks about being stuck in the cage like a sexy salami in a deli. This leads to Reigns wanting his rematch for the US Title tonight and Owens accepts on Jericho’s behalf. Owens throws in a psychic prediction: tonight it’s Reigns locked in that cage.

Cesaro vs. Luke Gallows

Join us as we continue the theory of “let’s have four guys fight over and over and over and then expect people to want to see the pay per view match”. Cesaro throws him down and puts a forearm in the face for two but Gallows hits a running charge in the corner. We take a break and come back with Anderson having been ejected for interference and Cesaro muscling Gallows up for a suplex.

The threat of the Swing sends Gallows to the ropes so Cesaro settles for the Sharpshooter. Cue Anderson to kick Sheamus in the head, which of course means the referee doesn’t see Gallows tap (that finish is WAY overused), allowing Gallows to come back with a big boot. The flapjack gives Gallows the pin at 8:45.

Rating: D+. I am so, so sick of that “distraction means the tap out doesn’t count” schtick. It’s been used WAY too many times, especially with Cesaro and Sheamus. Just come up with something fresh and maybe people will stop complaining about how boring your matches are. Nah, I’m sure we need to just get over it and enjoy right?

Mick Foley is on the phone with Stephanie McMahon when Sami Zayn comes in. Sami wants to enter the Royal Rumble but Stephanie says that’s not how it works. Oh here we go. Sami has to beat Seth Rollins to get in. This has been your weekly reminder that Stephanie is the real power in WWE. Stephanie also has something in mind for Rollins.

Earlier today, Bayley sat down to talk about Sunday’s match with Charlotte. She doesn’t understand why Charlotte is so down on her being a lifelong wrestling fan but Bayley is bringing the Bayley Buddies and all of her fans to San Antonio to take the title.

Mick comes in to see Rollins and tells him about the match with Sami. However, if Rollins loses, Sami gets Seth’s spot. This has been your weekly reminder that Stephanie is the puppet master and gets to smile and laugh while we just get to watch.

Sami Zayn vs. Seth Rollins

Video on Shawn Michaels winning the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Rollins is livid and demands that Foley figure out what’s going on. Foley says it wasn’t him but Rollins is going to find out.

TJ Perkins/Jack Gallagher/Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari

We get a quick video on Ali before the match. Perkins and Gulak get things going and we start in a hurry with TJ flipping around, only to get kicked in the ribs in the corner. Nese misses a moonsault though and it’s off to Ali for a rolling neckbreaker. Everything breaks down and Ali’s inverted 450 puts Gulak away at 3:51.

Rating: C-. This was way too short and I don’t think Gallagher was ever legally in the match. That inverted 450 looked great but it came at the end of a very short match which didn’t have enough time to showcase six people at the same time. This was kind of a step back for the division which was getting more and more entertaining once they got away from matches like this one.

Here’s New Day for a chat. They want to become Universal Champion at Wrestlemania but cue Enzo and Big Cass to cut them off. Cass is going to be in the Royal Rumble as well, which seems to greatly please the fans. Rusev, Jinder Mahal and Lana (who has hacked off a lot of her hair) interrupt with Rusev wondering why Big E. and Big Cass have to add Big to their names. You don’t hear Rusev call himself handsome do you?

Titus O’Neil cuts them off and New Day’s annoyed reactions are hilarious. Woods offers to meet Titus outside in a reference I don’t quite get. Anyway there’s an eight man tag…but there are only seven men in the ring. Woods points out that the fourth option is Lana (BIG pop for that suggestion) but he wants to know who the real fourth partner is.

New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Jinder Mahal/Rusev/Titus O’Neil/Braun Strowman

Joined in progress with Kofi in trouble until a jawbreaker frees him up. It’s not enough to get past Titus though who hits a sloppy Dominator. Mahal gives up the hot tag though and it’s off to Cass. The Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is broken up and everything breaks down with Big E.’s spear through the ropes being blocked. Kofi hits a big dive onto a pile of people on the floor….but it leaves Braun to face Enzo. Amore actually gets out of the powerslam but his middle rope DDT is countered into said powerslam for the pin at 4:35 shown.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but it let Strowman look dominant, which is the entire point. Strowman is going to be a big deal in the Rumble and is probably one of the favorites but it’s nice to see some other names added to the field. I know Cass and Rusev are the longest of long shots though getting to be announced is a bit of a plus.

Post match here’s Big Show for the showdown with Strowman.

We recap the opening sequence.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho

Back from a break with Jericho letting Owens out of the cage. As a bonus, Sunday’s match will now be No DQ. Kevin is furious.

In another sitdown interview, Charlotte talks about being backstage for major shows while Bayley was watching on the couch. Charlotte had an amazing athletic background and yeah, she and Bayley used to be friends. Bayley was the heart and soul of NXT but now she has the audacity to think she’s on Charlotte’s level. Then Bayley is going to lose and will remember that she’s just a fan.

Nia Jax vs. Ray Lyn

Nia runs her over in the corner and hits something like a Banzai Drop for the pin at 28 seconds.

Post match Nia dedicates her win to Sasha Banks’ recently deceased career. Now that Nia has broken the Boss….and never mind because here’s Banks on a crutch. Sasha hits her in the ankle with the crutch and actually gets in a double knee shot to drop the monster.

We look at Rollins losing his Rumble spot again.

Emmalina video.

Rich Swann vs. Noam Dar

Non-title and Alicia Fox is with Dar. Swann flips over him to start and sends Dar outside, only to have Noam hide behind Fox. We come back from a break with Swann fighting out of a chinlock and ankle scissoring him off the top. The spinning kick to the head ends Dar at 5:54. Not enough shown to rate but this was just a workout for Swann.

Swann wants Neville out here and we get Neville all the way to the apron, only to have Rich dive through the ropes to start the fight. Referees break it up but this was a really well done segment and actually made me want to see the match. Well done.

Cedric Alexander vs. Neville is announced for 205 Live. Alexander is ready to talk about his match when Fox and Dar come in. Alicia knows Cedric is jealous of Dar, who will always be a winner as long as he has her in his corner. A lot of screeching ensues so Cedric walks away.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where your individual miles may vary as the show itself wasn’t great but I liked the show for the simple fact that it made me care more about the Rumble. I’m more interested in the Cruiserweight Title match and maybe even the Rumble itself, which is a big upgrade. Reigns vs. Owens now being No DQ could help a bit if they actually let them have a brawl instead of the boring match that they’ve done otherwise. It’s an upgrade though and that was really badly needed.

Results

Luke Gallows b. Cesaro – Flapjack

Sami Zayn b. Seth Rollins – Small package

Mustafa Ali/Jack Gallagher/TJ Perkins b. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak – Inverted 450 to Gulak

Jinder Mahal/Rusev/Titus O’Neil/Braun Strowman b. New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Powerslam to Amore

Roman Reigns b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

Nia Jax b. Ray Lyn – Banzai Drop

Rich Swann b. Noam Dar – Spinning kick to the head

Best of 2016: Worst Angle of the Year

We’re down to the final two and this is one of the harder ones to get through. Over the years, wrestling tries all kinds of things to get their wrestlers over. In this case, we’re going to be looking at the worst angles of the year. Which stories that WWE put effort behind wound up going nowhere and doing more harm than good for everyone involved? As usual, these are in no particular order.

1. Cesaro and Sheamus’ Excellent Adventure

Over the course of the end of the summer and a good chunk of the fall, Sheamus and Cesaro engaged in a best of seven series for a future championship opportunity. While the matches were entertaining enough, the fans really seemed to get tired of the same match over and over again. I was one of them and, knowing WWE, I had a bad feeling they would somehow have the series end in a draw and give Sheamus and Cesaro a Tag Team Title match instead.

AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY DID! No matter how much people were sick of seeing them fight, now it was time to see them as a tag team who still fought each other despite going after a title. They actually wound up winning the titles off New Day but that doesn’t really make up for everything we had to sit through on the way there.

This was a good example of having to put up with what WWE wanted whether we were interested in seeing it or not. While the end result wasn’t the worst, it was the equivalent of going to the dentist, having a tooth pulled, and then hearing your condescending dad say “oh come on it wasn’t THAT bad”. Yeah, actually it was that bad and in this case it took the better part of four months to finally get to the point.

2. Emmalina Debuts. Eventually.

Injuries are horrible things in any sport and wrestling in particular as there’s no off season to eat up some of the down time. In this case, Emma was put down with a horrible back injury that has left her off TV for several months. While she’s been working house shows as a special guest referee for some of the women’s six man tags, she hasn’t been seen on WWE TV in a long time.

Well not live at least. Instead we’ve been getting vignettes for the Makeover of Emmalina, which really seems to just be Emma in various swimsuits. During her time on the main roster, Emma hasn’t exactly been one of the women to turn up the sex appeal but that’s what we’re getting here for some reason. These vignettes have been going on for months now and there’s no indication that they’ll be ending anytime soon.

The worst case scenario is that this is the female version of Brodus Clay. You might remember that idea: over the course of several months, we were teased with the unveiling of Clay as a monster (which we had seen before). What we wound up with was Clay as a dancer in bright red and called the Funkasaurus. I liked the surprise, but I have a bad feeling about what WWE might find funny.

3. Anderson and Gallows Aren’t Funny

Speaking of comedy, we have this gem. Over the course of the year, Anderson and Gallows chased New Day for the Tag Team Titles, just like several other teams. Anderson and Gallows came close to defeating them a few times but could never actually get their hands on the belts. They could however do one thing over and over: put on some of the worst, most unfunny vignettes you’ll ever see.

The big problem with them was they tried to use the WWE brand of “comedy”, which is to beat you over the head with the same joke until your head hurts from getting the same idea over and over again. These were such brilliant ideas as “New Day is old and we work at a retirement home” or “we’re doctors and want to crush New Day’s testicles”. That’s really the best thing they can do to sell a title match on a pay per view?

Overall it just wasn’t a good idea and I don’t know of anyone who actually enjoyed the vignettes. They weren’t funny and they didn’t advance the story to any special degree. Anderson and Gallows might be able to get in a few little chuckles here and there but they’re not the kind of people who are going to get somewhere by just saying “Hey, here are jokes! LAUGH WITH US!”

4. Roman Reigns vs. Lana

I really don’t even know where to start with this one. So back in the fall, Reigns started feuding with Rusev over the United States Championship. Around the same time, Rusev and Lana were married and spent a lot of time bragging about how amazing their wedding was. One of these nights included a party, which of course had a cake. As you might expect, Reigns came out and crashed the party which included shoving Lana’s face into the cake.

Let me make that a little bit more clear: Rusev and Lana were celebrating the fact that they were married and Reigns shoved Lana’s face into a cake for no real reason other than they were considered bad guys. How in the world is this supposed to make me want to cheer for Reigns in the situation? In what way is he the good guy in this whole story?

I know WWE is obsessed with the idea of making Reigns into the king of all things good and wholesome about wrestling. Somehow though, I don’t think this is the best way to go about the whole thing. People aren’t going to look at Reigns and think he did anything great. Well in theory at least, but I’m not sure I’d want those people to be supporting my product in the first place. This is just a horrible idea that doesn’t make a bit of sense, unless you’re in some weird WWE style mindset.

5. Naked Enzo Amore

It wasn’t a good year for Lana and these stupid stories. One night on “Monday Night Raw”, Big Cass locked Amore out of their dressing room and, because it’s a wrestling show, Amore was missing his clothes. If that’s not bad enough, he then ran into Lana. This turned into an awkward flirting session with Lana seemingly getting into the idea. Rusev wasn’t cool with it though and wound up destroying Amore as a result.

This continued the following week as Rusev and Lana seemingly had a fight, which led to Amore offering a shoulder to cry on. As a result, Lana invited Amore to her hotel room for some, ahem, entertainment. Since Amore isn’t the smartest guy in the world, he accepted and wound up getting one heck of a beating from Rusev, who was of course waiting on them in a trap.

What in the world was the point of something like this? I know it gets us to Cass vs. Rusev but did we really have to sit through Amore hitting on a married woman while standing around without any clothes on? It was awkward, it felt really out of place and while funny, it really wasn’t the best way for them to go.

6. James Ellsworth

Now this is a case where your individual miles may vary. Ellsworth debuted in WWE back in July in a match where he was completely destroyed by Braun Strowman. While being off TV for a bit, Ellsworth would be brought back as a mystery partner for AJ Styles, which resulted in several weeks worth of appearances, including a series of victories over Styles in non-title matches, one of which gained Ellsworth a contract.

Those losses are where a lot of people gave up on the story. Ellsworth wasn’t around long and he was defeating the Smackdown World Champion. I mean, Ambrose was helping him but that doesn’t make it the best idea in the world. It was all about setting up something between Ambrose and Styles and the title was never in any real danger but the champion still lost three times in a row.

That being said, Ellsworth being around was still very tiresome for a lot of people. He overstayed his welcome in the main event and even influenced the ending of the main event at “Tables Ladders and Chairs 2016”. It also doesn’t help that Ellsworth didn’t really gain anything as a result. He’s still the comedy goof that was fun to cheer for over a few weeks but then was just kind of there as the story wouldn’t end.

7. Shane McMahon’s Lock Box

If the Lana stories were just stupid, this one is something that was so confusing that a lot of the audience just gave up trying to figure out what was going on. The problem here was very simple: we never actually got an explanation for what was going on. Shane returned and got into an argument with his father Vince over who would get to run “Monday Night Raw”.

Shane brought up something about a lock box that contained evidence of Vince doing…..something so Shane agreed to put up its contents against running the show. The match wound up being against the Undertaker at “Wrestlemania XXXII” and Shane lost (thankfully). Depending on who you believe, Shane was originally going to win but Undertaker put his foot down.

This brings us to the second problem. After the match with Undertaker was over, Vince just gave Shane control of “Monday Night Raw” anyway, making the whole thing a big waste of time. It was a fun idea when Shane returned but the whole thing wound up being a huge mess over something that was never made clear in the first place. And what did this wind up being? More McMahon drama, because that’s all any of the big stories around WWE would become.

8. Triple H Likes ME Better!

Oh boy this one. Do you remember “Clash of the Champions 2016” with its main event of Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens for the Universal Title? The match itself was fine but do you remember why it was happening? Allegedly it was over the title but I’m talking about the real reason. What were most of the promos about and what did Rollins say his end goal was?

Well that would be proving to Triple H and Stephanie McMahon that HE should have been the chosen one that was receiving the Authority’s backing instead of Owens. That’s right: this was all about Owens and Rollins trying to impress the McMahon and Triple H, the latter of whom had handed Owens the title in a four way elimination match. Think about that for a minute: this match was about people trying to impress their boss, as in the top heel of the company who was never there.

And people wonder why the match and feud was so poorly received. This whole thing was a complete mess and made both guys look like someone who had no idea what they were doing and had no business being anywhere near the main event. When your whole story is about who should have been Triple’s protege and featured star. Not a title, not a personal feud and not even fighting over the profits from a lemonade stand. No, this was all about the Authority and how they were really more important than anything else on the show.

9. The Cabinet

How can I put this? Ah yes: the Cabinet WAS NOT FUNNY. I know everyone went election crazy in 2016 and almost every wrestling promotion tried to do something with it (such as making Darren Young great again) but Ring of Honor decided that they needed a full on election committee.

Comprised of Kenny King, Rhett Titus and Caprice Coleman (all with rather stupid nicknames such as the Secretary of Shoulders), the group wanted to make wrestling great again. It was beating you over the head with an idea and it just wasn’t funny. Everyone knew the story was dead after the election was over and that’s what happened. The team wasn’t done though and then it got even worse.

Now the team is called the Rebellion. Yes the Rebellion, which is just below the Revolution on the list of REALLY STUPID TEAM NAMES THAT EVERY PROMOTION HAS HAD SOME VERSION OF OVER THE YEARS. This was really low intelligence and uninspired booking, which isn’t something that should be happening in Ring of Honor. Be creative with it somehow because this was a disaster.

As tempted as I am to go with Rollins and Owens, I’ve got to go with Cesaro and Sheamus. This was a situation where we knew what they were going to do and then we had to sit through it for months on end with only one ending in sight. I have no idea why WWE wanted to do this one storyline so much or why they kept shoving it down our throats but this is what we were getting, whether we liked it or not. Most people didn’t and WWE did it anyway, which is why it’s the worst angle of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – January 16, 2017: The Champ Is Acting Like The Champ

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2017
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means we’re getting closer and closer to finding out a lot of things for Wrestlemania season. The big story this week is the first announcement for the Hall of Fame and then probably finding out some more names for the Royal Rumble. Let’s get to it.

Martin Luther King Day video.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns to some of the loudest booing I’ve ever heard outside of a major city. Reigns can’t complain about getting beaten down when he’s outnumbered in a fight. He knows he lost the US Title but now he’s off to get the Universal Title at the Royal Rumble. Just in case you needed more proof that the US Title meant nothing on Roman. This brings out Paul Heyman who is almost immediately cut off by the GOLDBERG chants. Heyman gives us a spoiler for the Rumble but here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho loves the idea of the Royal Rumble because no matter who wins, they’ll both wind up at Wrestlemania with both titles. Owens seems to agree but here’s Seth Rollins to cut them off. That means more promises of winning before Braun Strowman comes and stares Reigns down.

Strowman doesn’t say a word before Lesnar himself comes out. Sami Zayn runs in through the crowd and cleans house, including a Helluva Kick to put Braun outside. Brock throws everyone else down and is left alone with Sami, meaning it’s another German suplex for Zayn. Lesnar tells Braun to bring it on but Strowman drops to the floor, leaving Reigns to Superman Punch Brock. That earns him an F5 and Lesnar stands tall.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal

Enzo goes after Mahal to start but an elbow to the jaw takes him down. Mahal is sent outside and we take an early break. Back with Mahal dropping a knee on Enzo and Rusev grabbing a bearhug. Enzo slips out and the hot tag brings in Cass to clean house. Everything breaks down and the big boot to Mahal sets up the Bada Boom Shaka Laka for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as is so often the case with Enzo and Cass matches. We need to get to the Rusev vs. Cass match, assuming we’re still getting it. Enzo being back in the ring really doesn’t do much for me and I’d be glad to have him stay outside full time while Cass does the work.

Ariya Daivari vs. Lince Dorado

Jack Gallagher is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Lince getting in some strikes and the springboard Stunner for two. Dorado completely misses a high crossbody and a wind up lariat (Rainmaker) sets up a cobra clutch to make Lince tap at 2:18.

We look back at Undertaker announcing that he would be in the Royal Rumble.

Video on the UK Title Tournament.

Earlier today, Nia Jax attacked Sasha Banks during a knee injury evaluation.

Tag Team Titles: Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Anderson and Gallows

Cesaro and Sheamus are defending as this feud just keeps going. Anderson starts with Cesaro but Sheamus makes a quick blind tag as his partner hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The champs start speeding things up until Cesaro misses a charge into the corner so Gallows can drop an elbow for two. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s shoulder which has been taped up since he returned back in April. A slingshot shoulder brings Sheamus back in as things pick up all over again.

Everything breaks down with Gallows kicking Sheamus off the apron as we take a break. Back with Cesaro coming in off the hot tag as everything breaks down. The spinning elbow gets two on Anderson and Gallows’ boot to the face gets the same. Sheamus comes in and punches the referee by mistake, leaving no count off the Magic Killer. The fans think it’s awesome as another referee comes in to count the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B. I liked the match but the story is just doing nothing for me. There’s no reason for me to care about either of these teams and that makes for a really hard sit whenever these guys come out to the ring. It’s just not interesting as there’s no reason for them to be fighting other than “well, we don’t really have any other options.” I’m sure this sets up a Rumble rematch because that’s what we’re stuck with for a title feud.

And never mind as it’s a Dusty Finish as the champs are disqualified and retain the titles.

We look back at the opening segment. Tonight it’s a six man main tag with Reigns/Rollins/Zayn vs. Owens/Jericho/Strowman.

Tribute video to Jimmy Snuka.

Emmalina video.

Sami, Rollins and Reigns talk strategy. Zayn sticks his fist out for the Shield pose and the other two leave. Rollins’ eyes were hilarious.

Tony Nese vs. Rich Swann

Non-title and a 205 Live rematch. And no match as Neville comes in through the crowd and attacks Swann.

Post break Neville yells at an interviewer for not having enough respect and promises to beat Swann for the title at the Rumble.

Here’s New Day to talk about the Rumble. The royal rumblings say that it’s going to be foe vs. foe but Big E. thinks that if one of them wins the Rumble, they all win and go on to be in the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Titus O’Neil and even the announcers are saying enough already. Titus thinks he could replace one of them and take their spot in the Rumble. That’s a no of course so Titus will just take it instead. Big E. agrees to put his spot on the line if Titus agrees to leave New Day alone for good.

Titus O’Neil vs. Big E.

Joined in progress with Big E. putting on an abdominal stretch. Titus comes back with a Dominator to set up a chinlock followed by his own abdominal stretch. The spanking is enough to tick Big E. off and he runs Titus down with ease. The Warrior Splash sets up the Big Ending for the pin at 4:56.

Rating: F. Now NEVER LET TITUS NEAR THEM AGAIN! Move on to ANYTHING else!

Jim Duggan talks about winning the first Royal Rumble.

Here’s Charlotte to discuss the winning strategy that has kept her undefeated on pay per view. By that she means laughing at the idea of Bayley beating her at the Royal Rumble. We see some pictures of Bayley as a kid meeting people like John Cena, Ivory, Rob Van Dam and Bret Hart from years ago.

Charlotte even has some poetry from what looks like middle school while Charlotte was training and getting scholarship offers. We even get a video of Bayley reading her essay on wanting to be a professional wrestler. Charlotte cuts the video and reads it herself until Bayley runs out to chase her off. Bayley calls this unnecessary so Charlotte says she’s just like the average fan.

If Charlotte wants to bring up all these stories, Bayley has a story for her. She didn’t have a father who could just make a phone call and get her into WWE. What she did have is a father who would spend everything he had to get her a ticket to every show in San Jose because that was all she ever wanted to do. Bayley even has a new poem for Charlotte: Roses are red, violets are blue, at Royal Rumble, I will defeat you.

Another look back at the opening sequence.

Strowman isn’t interested in talking strategy with his partners tonight.

Cedric Alexander vs. Brian Kendrick

They start fast with Cedric knocking him outside for a moonsault off the apron, only to get pulled down into a full nelson on the mat. Both guys take elbows to the face but it’s Cedric taking over off a springboard clothesline. Kendrick counters what looked like a belly to back suplex into the Captain’s hook as Alicia Fox runs out to play cheerleader. Cedric makes the ropes as we see Noam Dar watching from the back. The distraction lets Kendrick get in a baseball slide to the back before telling Fox to beat it toots. Back in and the Captain’s Hook is countered into the Lumbar Check for the pin on Brian at 4:42.

Rating: C. Cedric is one of the smoothest in ring performers going today and Kendrick..well he’s there too. I’m interested in this idea of the Alicia Fox being crazy story but that might just be because Fox is on my TV more often. Other than that though, this was your usual cruiserweight match, meaning it wasn’t the worst match in the world but it didn’t do much for me.

Cedric walks off with Fox in the ring.

We look at Nia attacking Banks again.

Nia laughs at the idea of Sasha being the Boss and loved seeing Sasha holding her knee in agony. The hype was over and the Boss was broken.

Fox doesn’t want to talk about it.

Kurt Angle is announced for the Hall of Fame. That’s LONG, LONG overdue.

Roman Reigns/Sami Zayn/Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho/Braun Strowman

It’s a brawl before the bell and Strowman throws Reigns over the top as we take a break. Back with the match joined in progress with Jericho coming in and taking a beating from Reigns and Zayn. Owens gets the tag and chinlocks Sami down, followed by an enziguri for two. The backsplash hits knees though and the diving tag brings in Reigns to clean house. Rollins and Jericho go at it on the floor, leaving Strowman to choke Reigns down for two.

Back from another break with Owens cutting Seth off so the beating on Reigns can continue. Owens’ chinlock is countered into a Samoan drop and the hot tag brings in Rollins. Everything breaks down again and it’s Sami and Seth with back to back dives. Rollins’ springboard knee to the face gets two on Jericho but Braun shrugs everything off. The trio gangs up on him though and Sami’s high crossbody gets two. The Helluva Kick is easily blocked though the powerslam wraps Zayn up at 14:22.

Rating: C+. Nice six man here and a good upgrade over some of the stuff on this show. Strowman getting another big pin is a smart move and it made for a good way to wrap up the night. There was enough action to make the match work and the ending was much better than having a champion get pinned.

Strowman takes Sami up to the announcers’ table but Seth comes up with a chair and Reigns adds a spear. The evil Canadians return from whatever hole they fell into and go for the table but Jericho takes a Pedigree on the stage. Owens cleans house with the chair and powerbombs Reigns through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it seems that they’re running out of ways to push the Royal Rumble over this many weeks. The show could have been much worse but stuff like New Day vs. Titus and the Tag Team Title feud (good match, boring feud) are dragging this show way down. The main event was better with someone exciting like Sami involved but it still wasn’t all that great.

Results

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Jinder Mahal/Rusev – Bada Boom Shaka Laka to Mahal

Ariya Daivari b. Lince Dorado – Cobra clutch

Anderson and Gallows b. Cesaro/Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus punched the referee

Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending

Cedric Alexander b. Brian Kendrick – Lumbar Check

Braun Strowman/Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho b. Sami Zayn/Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns – Powerslam to Zayn

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