New Column: When He Reigns It Won’t Be Poor
I’m sorry for that title.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-when-he-reigns-it-wont-be-poor/44041/
I’m sorry for that title.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-when-he-reigns-it-wont-be-poor/44041/
Hell in a Cell 2015
Date: October 25, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s time for one of the most violent shows of the year with two matches inside the namesake structure. The other main event is Demon Kane challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE World Title but if Demon Kane loses, Corporate Kane loses his job as Director of Operations. Uh right. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Cesaro/Neville/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Sheamus/King Barrett
Rematch from Raw where the bad guys won. Neville and Sheamus get things going with the big guy taking a kick to the back of the head. Off to Cesaro (who is jeered by Stardust and the Ascension from ringside) who gives Neville a platform for a corkscrew moonsault. The announcers talk about Blazing Saddles as Ziggler comes in to hammer away on Sheamus in the corner. A quick Fameasser gets two but Rusev superkicks Ziggler in the face and we take a break.
Back with Barrett cranking on Ziggler’s arms and kicking him in the chest for two. Rusev comes in to talk trash the announcers bounce back and forth between talking about the match and golf. Sheamus comes back in for one of the most intense chinlocks I’ve ever seen but Ziggler pops up for his jumping DDT. Leave it to Dolph to just get in his stuff instead of selling. Cesaro comes in for the running uppercuts and a cannonball off the apron to take Sheamus down.
There’s a running uppercut against the barricade for Rusev before Cesaro takes a lap around the ring to hit Sheamus with another uppercut. That was one heck of a run and Cesaro keeps it going by backflipping Neville onto Sheamus and Cesaro. Ziggler superkicks Barrett into the Swing and it’s the Red Arrow to put Barrett away at 11:31.
Rating: C. For Cesaro, who stole this match as well as anyone I’ve seen do in years. He had the fans totally into him and ran with it for a change, though somehow it seems that he’s considered boring. If that’s still the case, he needs to get out of WWE now because he’s never going to get a crowd more fired up than he did right there.
Oh and in case you don’t get what I meant, the match was a B-.
The opening video is about the torment everyone is about to go through, including those not in the Cell. I take it to believe that their torment will be the same, meaning the Cell changes nothing and is therefore worthless. Nice job WWE.
US Title: John Cena vs. ???
Cena is defending in this Open Challenge. The mystery opponent is…….not clear yet as we’ve got the returning Zeb Colter on a motorized scooter. He calls Cena a divider and a separator so it’s time for people of all different backgrounds to come together. Colter thinks it’s time for Cena to lose the title to someone who will do more with it than Cena ever has. That next US Champion is…….ALBERTO DEL RIO! That’s quite the surprise but more importantly, HE ISN’T THE BIG SHOW!
Cena shoulders him down to start but a hard kick to the hamstring sends the champ out to the floor. Back in and we hit the armbar as Del Rio’s psychology hasn’t slipped a bit. Alberto misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor, only to come back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a chinlock.
Cena continues his loud spot calling until he comes back with the release fisherman’s suplex. An enziguri looks to set up the armbreaker but Cena comes back with that clothesline that he uses for his comebacks. The finishing sequence is initiated but the AA is countered into a Backstabber and the low superkick is good for the completely clean pin at 7:50.
Rating: C. Not much to the match here as we knew Cena was losing but I really like the fact that it was clean. WWE needs stars right now and Del Rio is as good of a choice as anyone due to his resume and the shock value of him coming back. It’s better to have a big name come back and win than have someone win it with a fluke. Del Rio looks legit and that’s exactly what he needed to do.
Rollins comes in to the Authority’s office and does that weird recapping events thing that he does until Kane comes in to say he’s back from suspension. He was back on Smackdown and made a match but as usual that doesn’t count. Kane and Rollins get in an argument and HHH throws Kane out.
We recap Wyatt vs. Reigns. They’ve been feuding for months as Wyatt doesn’t want Reigns to be the next face of the company for reasons that he kind of explained months ago and hasn’t brought up since. This led to a series of tag matches and then they were ready for the Cell.
Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns
No seconds at ringside. Cole hypes up the fact that these are the 34th and 35th men inside the Cell. It’s been around 18 years so that’s not really all that impressive. They slug it out to start until Reigns throws Bray with a suplex. It’s quickly out to the floor for the apron boot and a ram into the cage but Bray comes back with a kendo stick to take over. Bray starts driving the tip of the stick into Reigns’ hand before putting the stick and a chair in the cage wall.
Roman gets sent through the stick but comes back by throwing Bray face first into the chair. Now since Bray used a kendo stick, Reigns has to come up with something more devastating. His choice: TWO kendo sticks and TWO tables. As is the law of the table match though, Roman sets one up and winds up going through it via a Rock Bottom from the apron.
The backsplash gets two back inside and Bray loads up another table. The fans give Reigns the Cena dueling chants but he breaks up a superplex attempt and powerbombs Bray through the table for two. Now the fans think it’s awesome. Pick a side already. Sister Abigail is countered into a fast rollup and the Superman Punch gets two more.
The fans switch to ROCKY’S COUSIN (that’s an insult?) until Reigns spears him through the ropes and through the table for a huge crash. It’s only good for two though and Bray grabs Sister Abigail for the same. Some kendo sticks are put up on the turnbuckles but Roman pulls one down and beats Wyatt with it, setting up the spear for the pin at 23:22.
Rating: B-. This is the new normal for the Cell: a long street fight that happens to be inside a big cage. This didn’t have a big moment or a big finish but it did have some good spots and was entertaining but they’re never going back to the old Cell style. It’s sad and annoying but it’s the truth. Unfortunately WWE talks about it like this big warzone and it’s just not that kind of match anymore. Good match, but the standard underwhelming Cell formula.
We recap the New Day vs. the Dudleyz. They’ve traded some wins and the Dudleyz put Woods through a table. This feud has gone on too long and it’s getting tiring.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
New Day is defending and Big E. brings the broken trombone for the spirit of Woods. Big E.: “Tromboner……trombonists……TROMBONE PLAYERS around the world are in mourning!” However, they promise to play the bongos on D-Von’s head and a drum on Bubba’s belly. Kofi: “LIKE A CAUCASIAN KAMALA!” D-Von shoulders Kofi down to start and Bubba knocks Kingston to the floor.
The champs have a huddle (Big E.: “TIME OUT SUCKA!”) and the announcers look at the trombone. The Dudleyz botch a backbreaker/legdrop spot and the fans boo it loudly. Big E. runs D-Von over and it’s time for the rotating stomps, followed by more dancing. The Warior Splash gets two but the champs make the mistake of trying What’s Up, allowing D-Von to kick Kofi away and make the tag.
Bubba cleans house until Kofi dropkicks both Dudleyz down. Kofi grabs the trombone and throws it to Bubba before falling down ala Eddie Guerrero. The referee teases the DQ but doesn’t go for it, only to have Big E. blast D-Von in the back with the trombone, setting up Trouble in Paradise to D-Von for the pin at 9:24.
Rating: C. And hopefully that’s that. I don’t really need to see these teams fight again for a very long time as they’ve covered almost everything they need to cover. The Dudleyz are going to be fine after putting New Day over and if they’re gone after tonight, they’ve served their purpose. I’m sure they’ll stick around and have a few more feuds but this was the right result.
We recap Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte. Nikki lost the title to Charlotte last month but Charlotte has been treated like a joke ever since while Nikki hasn’t seem to mind that she isn’t champion anymore.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending and again no one is at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte hammering away in the corner and countering a powerbomb attempt with a hurricanrana. Some big forearms put Charlotte down and Nikki cranks on her neck with a knee in the back. Nikki backbreakers her a few times before putting on a half Liontamer of all things. Charlotte finally gets to the ropes and kicks Nikki in the face but she can’t pull off a suplex because of the back. Double knees to the back and a spinebuster keep Charlotte in trouble but trash talk is enough for her to come back with chops.
Nikki comes off the second rope but jams her knee to give Charlotte an opening. Not that it matters as Nikki is fine enough to load up a belly to back superplex, only to have Charlotte backflip off the top and send Nikki crashing down again. The Figure Eight doesn’t work because of the back though and Charlotte crashes to the floor. Nikki follows up with an Alabama Slam onto the apron (freaking OW man!) but the Rack Attack is broken up, setting up the Figure Eight to retain the title at 9:42.
Rating: B+. Yep it was good. I’m fine with Charlotte selling for most of the match as long as she doesn’t lose in the end like a squash. Nikki has gotten WAY better in recent months but it took so long to get there that she’s got a long way to go. It’s still really entertaining stuff though and I’m glad they didn’t give it back to Nikki as that’s been covered for way too long already.
Paige and Becky run out to celebrate with Paige making sure to get in first. Ignore Nikki casually rolling out of the ring and walking up the aisle holding her back instead of limping.
Reigns is in the back when Dean comes in. Ambrose congratulates him on the win and says they have something new to deal with but Reigns says they’ll do that tomorrow. That’s cool with Dean and they’re celebrating tonight. That must be setting something up for later.
We recap Kane vs. Seth Rollins. They fought for months over the summer but then Brock Lesnar broke Kane’s ankle. Kane returned and saved Rollins from Sheamus cashing in and then developed a split personality. Therefore, tonight it’s Demon Kane vs. Rollins but if Kane doesn’t win the title (or the match as it’s changed a few times), Corporate Kane loses his job as director of operations.
WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Kane
Are Kane’s magical hair growing powers ever going to be addressed? Rollins is defending but Kane starts fast with a running DDT and basement dropkick. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Kane loading up the announcers’ table but Seth escapes and they get back inside. Rollins sends Kane right back to the floor and it’s a big flip dive to take the monster down. Back in again and Seth dives into an uppercut but avoids a charge in the corner and pounds away. That goes nowhere as he gets crotched on the top and kicked in the face for two.
The top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for two and Kane is stunned. Why he’s stunned isn’t clear as everyone kicks out of that thing but since when has logic ever stopped a wrestling match? The tombstone doesn’t work so they head outside and load up the announcers’ table again. Lawler: “The Spanish announce table is right over there!” Rollins escapes another chokes attempt and powerbombs Kane onto the Spanish table. The count almost beats Kane but he gets back in, only to take some kicks to the head and one heck of a frog splash for two. Another chokeslam is countered and the Pedigree retains clean at 14:36.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst but above all else THANK GOODNESS they didn’t set up a rematch. It’s another example of “hey let’s set Kane up as this unstoppable monster!” and then he just loses the title match because he’s Kane, he’ll be fifty the year after next, and no one buys it at this point.
The pre-show panel chats for a bit. Renee has changed outfits for some reason.
Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. Kevin Owens
Owens is defending after taking the title from Ryback last month. Ryback ax handles him in the chest to start and shrugs off Owens’ offense. Back in and Owens gets in a shot to the ribs to take over, followed by the backsplash for two. The Cannonball is countered into a spinebuster and the fans just do not like Ryback. Owens avoids the Meathook but walks into a powerbomb for two. Ryback goes up top but gets shoved out to the floor, only to come back in for the Meathook. They fight over by the ropes and it looks like Owens gets in another thumb to the eye, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb (minus any power) to retain at 5:34.
Rating: D+. I’m thinking time hurt this one a lot but they weren’t going to have anything great no matter what they did. This was the most obvious result of the night and there wasn’t a lot of interest going into it. Ryback can go off to do something else now and Owens needs a new opponent. Not a horrible match but it could have been on any given Raw.
We look back at Del Rio winning the title tonight.
Recap of Lesnar vs. Undertaker from Summerslam where Undertaker tapped but won by knockout after hitting Lesnar low and putting him in Hell’s Gate. Tonight is the final showdown (allegedly) inside the Cell.
Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker
They stare each other down before the bell and Undertaker gives him the throat slit. The fans are split on this one and it feels like a main event. They slug it out as you would expect with Undertaker over off a clothesline. Undertaker blocks some suplexes and Brock is sent to the floor. Brock tries an F5 on the floor for some reason and Undertaker sends him into the post, drawing a nice cut on the head.
Back inside with a chair included but Brock grabs a spinebuster to get a breather. And now let’s stop for a doctor INSIDE THE CELL. Why even have the thing at this point? A lot of the blood is wiped away and Lesnar beats away on Undertaker with the chair, including a shot to the arm that impresses the announcers far too much. Undertaker suplexes him on the floor but now he’s busted open as well.
Back in and Undertaker drives Brock’s throat onto the top of a chair for two. A suplex out of nowhere sends Undertaker flying and Brock follows up with two more. The F5 is good for a near fall and let’s get that doctor in there to check on the cuts. At least they let them do the high spots first. Thankfully Lesnar throws the doctor away and hits a second F5 for another near fall. Some steps to the head get two more and Cole says we’re all in shock. No Cole, we’re not.
Lesnar picks up the steps, poses with them until Undertaker can raise his feet, and then slams them onto said feet so Undertaker can kick the steps back into his face. Hell’s Gate goes on (Heyman: “NO!!!!!”) but Brock punches his way out. Brock erupts on Undertaker with lefts and rights….and then he rips the mat apart.
Undertaker sits up though and it’s a chokeslam onto the exposed boards. The Tombstone onto the boards (work with me here) gets two and Undertaker gets in his awesome shocked look. Undertaker does the throat slit but Brock hits one of the hardest low blows I’ve ever seen, followed by the F5 onto the boards for the pin at 18:10.
Rating: A-. Now that felt like a Cell match. I know it’s an easy answer but that blood really does add a lot. It makes them feel like they’re actually having a violent battle instead of a street fight that happens to be inside a big cage. In other words, it makes it feel special. This wasn’t as good or violent as their first Cell match but thirteen years will do that to you. Oh and how much better was this with three suplexes instead of like fifteen? That helped so much.
The announcers treat this as WAY bigger of a deal than it is considering we saw it before. JBL talks about how Undertaker might be the best of all time and we get the big emotional situp with a THANK YOU TAKER chant. The only thing I can think of to say: oh shut up. He’s lost this exact same match before and this one really means nothing, especially after the Streak was broken. If it’s his retirement match then fine (it’s not) but stop treating this like anything more than a really good match.
Undertaker stands up…..and we’ve got Wyatts. Undertaker tries to get ready to fight but it’s an easy beatdown. JBL will not SHUT UP during the whole thing about a lack of honor or some nonsense like that as the Wyatts take Undertaker away to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. So much of that is due to the low expectations coming in but this was a heck of a show. The worst match is five minutes long and the main event was a great surprise. Unfortunately WWE has no idea how to do TV right now but their pay per views rock. In other words: it’s great when they’re finally able to settle down for a change and not waste everyone’s time with stupid build that completely misses the point. Get the TV better to set up these great shows and the company is on fire again. Until then though, just wait for the big shows because it’s all you’re getting.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena – Superkick
Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear
New Day b. Dudley Boyz – Trouble in Paradise to D-Von
Charlotte b. Nikki Bella – Figure Eight
Seth Rollins b. Kane – Pedigree
Kevin Owens b. Ryback – Pop Up Powerbomb
Brock Lesnar b. Undertaker – F5
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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A surprise…..…….AND HIS NAME IS ALBERTO DEL RIO!!!! As managed by none other than Zeb Colter. This is quite the surprise but why not.
What am I supposed to say about this show? It’s been one of the least interesting builds to a pay per view that I’ve seen in years and I haven’t seen many people who think otherwise. The matches are ranging from “we don’t need to build this” to “they’ve been feuding for a long time so let’s just have them feud more” to “it’s a pay per view with a major main event so let’s burn this off here.” Maybe I’ll find something to get excited about but I’m not there yet. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show match is a replacement due to Orton being injured again, though to be fair it’s been a pretty long time since his shoulders acted up. Instead of the match that’s only been kind of built up, we’re getting a rematch from a match that wasn’t great in the first place but it’s a way to let the writers do the same idea twice in a week so they don’t have to think of anything new.
The new match is Cesaro/Neville/Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Rusev/King Barrett in a match that changed on Thursday after the debut of Tyler Breeze. I know the most common (not common sense that is) booking would be to have the good guys get their win back here and set up the fabled rubber match on Raw, but I’m thinking instead they go with the heels winning here as Ziggler already has business with someone else. Maybe Breeze even interferes like he should in a well booked promotion. Either way, heels win for my pick that has little chance of being right.
We’ll start the actual show with the most obvious ending: Kevin Owens retains over Ryback. This was more interesting before Ryback got pinned clean in four minutes on Monday but since the writers think they have about fifteen male wrestlers, we had to sacrifice the Intercontinental Title match to help rebuild the World Champion. This wouldn’t be a problem but Rollins has been destroyed in recent weeks and needed the help. This was because
1. The writers don’t know how to book a heel champion.
2. How else was Kane going to look strong because Big Show had recently squashed every normal piece of cannon fodder to set up a house show match no one believed he had a prayer of winning?
So yeah Owens retains and there’s no real reason to believe otherwise.
New Day retains over the Dudleyz in another rematch (that’s three in a row for those of you counting). If they didn’t change the titles in New York, there’s no real reason to change them anywhere else. I’m hoping this is the end of the feud and that they don’t try to stretch it all the way out to a tables match somewhere. New Day can entertain against anyone and the Dudleyz can put over team after team without losing their credibility. There’s no need to continue the feud so hopefully they wrap it up here.
Now we have a match that could go either way with the Divas Title match (rematch #4). Nikki was never really broken down after losing the title because holding the record seems far more important to her than actually being the champion. Charlotte on the other hand has had trouble beating Brie Bella, even losing to her in a tag match recently. Either way it seems that the winner will just be keeping the title warm for Sasha Banks, so the question comes down to does WWE want Nikki to bore us to death against Banks or do they want a rematch of the Charlotte vs. Sasha classic? All hail the new champ.
Next up is the US Title Open Challenge, which may or may not be a rematch. Cena is pretty clearly losing here so the question is who gets the belt. There are multiple options in this case, ranging from the newly debuted Tyler Breeze to perhaps a newcomer debuting to the now free Dean Ambrose. While I think they’ll go with Ambrose, that leaves the issue of how does Ambrose put Cena on the shelf for a few months? I can’t imagine Cena is just going to lose and say “see you in two months” so he needs someone to injure him.
Unfortunately, I think that leads us to Big Show. He’s still fresh (as fresh as you can be nearly seventeen years after debuting) off the Lesnar feud and WWE is the kind of company that would rather make him a transitional champion, believing that he gets the win over Cena and whoever beats him inherits the momentum, even though that doesn’t work because it’s freaking Big Show. That’s my pick, though it’s probably going to be Ambrose.
That leaves us with the three main events and we’ll start with the least important: the WWE World Heavyweight Championship (rematch #5). The idea here is that Kane has multiple personalities and if his Demon side can’t beat Seth Rollins for the title, his Corporate side loses his job as head lackey to the Authority. At the same time though, Rollins continues his eternal quest to impress the Authority because this show exists to make them look important. Oh and of course Kane pinned the champ on Raw to make us believe that they might put the title on the 48 year old who hasn’t been interesting in years.
Of course Rollins retains as that old “who cares if he loses all the time if he still has the belt” mindset shines through again. I know we’re still setting up Rollins vs. HHH (which has been coming for months now) but could they try to give us something good along the way? This is the match that they spent months setting up in the summer and we’re finally getting it here because the REAL main event is carrying the show, meaning there’s no need to put in effort on this match because we’re lucky that way.
I don’t think they want to get rid of Sheamus’ briefcase yet (oh lucky us) so Rollins retains, though I’m sure there’s going to be some wacky shenanigans that mean Kane gets to keep his job (probably after a thorough performance evaluation or whatever they call it this time). It’s probably a DQ or a countout because that way Kane wins the match and we can ignore the whole “if Kane doesn’t win the title he’s fired” stipulation because of whatever reason the Authority has this time. Rollins retains but doesn’t win, meaning we get a rematch at Survivor Series and probably TLC because we’re just that lucky.
Then we have the match with the biggest build as Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns get inside the Cell for rematch #6. This is another bad feud as they started fighting back in June and are still after each other today. Bray won at Battleground with Harper’s help and they’ve traded tag wins ever since. Therefore, it’s clear that it’s time to go inside the Cell. I mean, a regular cage or something else is out of the question because it’s October so what else can they really do? This should be a fun brawl but we’ll be waiting around for the interference that everyone knows is coming.
I think I’ll go with Roman here, though Bray needs the win a lot more than he does. Neither guy has done anything significant since Wrestlemania but at least Reigns was a big deal at the beginning of the year. Wyatt has his full minions (well once Harper is back from his “personal issues”, which I assure you have nothing to do with that photo that I’m sure you’ve all seen.) now and is probably going to lose anyway, which will (or at least should) set up a Survivor Series elimination match so they can continue the feud past the advertised ending. Like they almost always do.
Speaking of the end, we have what is billed as the final showdown between Lesnar and Undertaker and I can’t be more thankful. Oh and rematch #7 to complete the field of matches that we actually know about. The match at Summerslam was fun but it’s the same story as the Wrestlemania match with Lesnar vs. HHH: yeah it was good but I don’t need to see them again this fast. It doesn’t help that neither guy seems interested in selling the match. Brock has appeared twice, Undertaker once in recent weeks. Their showdown on Monday was “yeah we’re going to fight on Sunday” and that’s about it.
I’ll take what should be the obvious winner with Lesnar, but don’t be surprised if they have some sort of wacky ending and set up one FINAL (as in final final, not prelude final) match at Wrestlemania to send Undertaker out. The drama and violence should be good but it’s a match where they’re having to drag me into it and I don’t really care what happens.
What a horrible looking show. I can’t remember the last time I was less interested in a pay per view than this as WWE hasn’t given me a single thing to get excited about. Save for the Cena match, everything is a match we’ve seen recently. That’s how you book a house show and we’re getting it as a regular pay per view. They need to figure out something new and do it in a hurry because this is one of the worst times I can remember for creative in a long time and the ratings are backing that up.
I don’t know of anyone excited for this show and it’s only going to get worse as the company throws its feet on the desk and say “eh no one is going to watch because of football anyway so we’re on vacation.” I know people aren’t going to watch but at least pretend like you care what’s going on and don’t give us a blend of the last two pay per views you put together and expect us to be entertained.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Smackdown
Date: October 22, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan
It’s the final show before Hell in a Cell and we might get some build towards the World Title match after it got little more than lip service on Monday. Aside from that I’d assume we’re in for a lot of video packages on the other big matches and maybe another cryptic promo from Bray, possibly including the prophecy he was supposed to give on Monday. Let’s get to it.
We open with Seth Rollins walking through the back when he runs into Kane. That would be Corporate Kane, not Demon Kane, Harlem Heat Kane or Kane the Undertaker. Kane has a match for him tonight and threatens violence if Rollins tries to run again. Rollins leaves and Kane finds Kofi and Big E., both of whom have XW bands on their arm. Those dastardly Dudleyz put Woods through a table on Monday and now there are just two unicorns. Kofi: “What do you see in front of you right now?” Kane: “Men with fingers on their heads.” Kane plays a tiny trombone for them and makes the two of them vs. Ambrose/Reigns for later.
Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro
Non-title. Cesaro takes him to the mat and rides the champ before gutwrenching him for two. Seth bails to the floor and we see Stardust and Ascension in the Stardust Section again. The champ grabs his belt and thinks about leaving but changes his mind and goes back inside for the running uppercuts instead. Another bailout attempt is broken up by Cesaro but Seth sends him into the steps as we take a break.
Back with Seth getting two off the springboard knee to the head. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Cesaro dropkicks him off the top and out to the floor, followed by the running uppercut against the barricade. Back in and Seth’s enziguri sets up the low superkick for two, only to charge into Swiss Death. The Crossface doesn’t last long and Rollins breaks up the apron superplex, followed by the Pedigree for the pin at 10:35.
Rating: C+. This was the entertaining match you would expect from these two when they’re given a bit of time. Cesaro loses of course because that’s all he knows how to do these days. The big thing I took away from this though was the Pedigree is so out of character for Rollins. He’s a high flying striker and the Pedigree really doesn’t fit that style. I know it’s going to be part of the HHH vs. Rollins feud, which is still going to start any day now right? Like any day.
The Stardust Section mocks Cesaro.
Miz promises that MizTV will be awesome, unlike Renee’s hair.
Breast cancer time.
Here’s Paige to address trying to reform PCB and being accused of attacking Natalya last week. Paige says she only cares about what Charlotte and Becky think of her so she’d like them to come out here for her explanation. Becky doesn’t care to hear it but Paige talks about being happy when the two of them made it to the main roster. That’s all well and good, but Becky doesn’t believe it after everything Paige has said and done.
Charlotte says she’s going to talk now. Paige had her moment over a year ago and all Charlotte wanted was her own moment to share with the two of them. It’s clear that Paige doesn’t respect Charlotte because it’s not all about Paige for once. Cue the Bellas with Nikki talking about her record and Brie saying this feels like Pretty Little Liars. Charlotte wants a fight but Paige says Nikki has to fight her first. Nikki accepts because she’s fearless or whatever.
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Lawler says Paige has made it all about herself again as Nikki takes over with a facebuster to start. Booker brings up winning the TV Title and how it messed up Harlem Heat. I’m sure Stevie being out for five months had nothing to do with it either. Nikki sends Paige shoulder first into the post and we take an early break. Back the bad arm going around the post again as Booker thinks Nikki knows about pressure points.
Nikki mocks THIS IS MY HOUSE before slamming Paige down on the arm. Paige comes right back with a superkick for two but walks into a spinebuster for the same. The Rack Attack is broken up and Paige gets two off a fall away slam. Brie: “STAY FEARLESS!” We get what looked like a quick edit to get to an Alabama Slam from Nikki for another two. Nikki finally drills her with the forearm and the Rack Attack is good for the pin at 11:20.
Rating: B-. I’m no fan of the Bellas but this was actually good. They were trading big moves and it worked really well all things considered. It’s amazing how much more entertaining these women are when they cut out all the stupid cattiness and just beat each other up. I’m really hoping they don’t put the belt back on Nikki but this was one of her best matches to date.
It’s time for MizTV with guests Dolph Ziggler and Summer Rae, with Dolph coming out after a long recap of the story since Lana and Rusev’s engagement was announced. Miz brings up Ziggler being tossed aside by TMZ of all places despite having more relationships than almost anyone in WWE. Lana is a grown woman who can do whatever she wants and Summer was just trying to use Dolph (“Which I’m usually into”) but he wants nothing to do with it. Miz isn’t convinced so here’s Summer to make it more interesting.
She gets right to the point and suggests that she wants to propose to Dolph. Dolph: “I’m just not that into you bro.” Actually that’s not what she meant because she’s found a new man: Tyler Breeze, complete with NXT theme and entrance. After a quick NXT chant, Breeze says he needs no introduction but Dolph needs someone to bring him beyond 1985.
Tyler has been hearing of Dolph treating his Summer Rae of sunshine so poorly so he flew in from Monte Carlo. Ziggler calls him a whiny millennial but Breeze decks him (and rightfully so. That’s quite the insult.) and drives the still injured throat (still injured? It is?) into the buckle. Referees help Ziggler up so Breeze adds a Beauty Shot before posing for a picture with Summer.
Sheamus/King Barrett vs. Lucha Dragons
Rusev is at ringside. Cara starts with Barrett and kicks him to the mat before monkey flipping Kalisto into a 450 for two. That was cool. It’s back to Cara who gets shoved off the ropes and grabs his knee. The knee is fine enough for Sheamus to throw him into the barricade though and a powerslam gets two. Barrett’s pumphandle slam is broken up and Cara scores with an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Kalisto. A quick hurricanrana driver plants Sheamus but Rusev pushes Barrett out of the way of a suicide dive. Kalisto dives onto Barrett but the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:17.
Rating: C. There’s always room for a foreign heel stable. It’s like Jello. Besides it’s not like most of them are doing anything else so why not throw them together? It worked for Road Dogg and Billy Gunn so maybe it works here too. Good enough match here and it makes the monsters look good before they lose on Sunday for the sake of setting up a rubber match that no one wants to see.
Clip from Raw of Reigns and Ambrose cleaning house of the Wyatts.
Here’s Bo Dallas with something to say. He accepts the US Open Challenge for he and his fellow Bo-Mericans. His version of Bo say can you see is interrupted and it’s time for a match.
Ryback vs. Bo Dallas
Ryback throws him around to start but gets his throat snapped across the top rope as we see Owens watching in the back. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook and Shell Shock end this at 1:39. Nice job of rebuilding Ryback after the totally unnecessary loss on Monday.
Owens says Ryback is a lot of things Owens isn’t, including champion. Renee takes this as Owens being arrogant but Owens thinks it means he’s better than Ryback. This Sunday it’s the Kevin Owens show and he’s walking out Intercontinental Champion. Trust him.
Long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker, which Booker compares to Ali vs. Frazier.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day
Non-title. Eden introduces this as a tag team match which will probably get her in hot water backstage. No Woods here due to being put through a table on Raw. It’s been far too long since someone was off TV to sell a short term injury like this. A loud NEW DAY ROCKS opens things up as Kofi does the unicorns pose. Ambrose headlocks Kofi to start and brings in Reigns for the jumping clothesline.
Big E. comes in for the hip swiveling and a shoulder to put Roman down. Reigns gets driven into the barricade and it’s time for a break. Back with Reigns breaking out of an abdominal stretch and making the tag off to Dean for some right hands. A quick Kofi trip puts New Day back in control though and it’s time for the rotating stomps. Big E. sounds like he’s on a microphone as he shouts encouragement.
Kofi loads up the Boom Drop, shouts HOPSCOTCH, does a little hopping, and lands on Dean for two. Ambrose makes the quick tag and it’s off to Roman to clean house. There’s an apron boot to Big E. and another one on the announcers’ table to Kofi. Ambrose comes back in with a missile dropkick to Big E. and the champs bail, only to run into the Dudleyz. Back in and Big E. takes a Doomsday Device, followed by a Superman Punch to Kofi. The spear puts Kingston away at 12:07.
Rating: C-. It’s really kind of amazing how much less entertaining the New Day is without Woods out there. They’re just a basic power and speed team and the HOPSCOTCH thing wasn’t enough to get me really into the match. Woods is the heart and soul of the team and I never would have guessed that when they got together in the first place.
Bray pops up on screen and says Roman can’t outrun his fear.
Overall Rating: D+. Totally standard go home episode of Smackdown as they’ve found the safest formula they can come up with and aren’t moving away from it until USA drags them to a new night. It was another two hours that came and went with the Divas match actually being the highlight of the show. Smackdown continues to be the definition of “just there” and I’m getting more and more indifferent to it every single week.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Pedigree
Nikki Bella b. Charlotte – Rack Attack
Sheamus/King Barrett b. Lucha Dragons – Brogue Kick to Kalisto
Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day – Spear to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Star Wars and stupid wrestling booking.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-coming-attractions/43502/
Monday Night Raw
Date: October 19, 2015
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
Tonight is all about the Cell as we’re getting a special panel of people who have been inside the Cell before. It’s one of the first times that the main event has actually received any focus and they have their hands full with giving the match a good build on such short notice. Let’s get to it.
We get right to the point with Steve Au…..oh wait never mind he’s been canceled again. Actually scratch that scratching as he’s on the show again. Austin does his poses on the ropes as his status for the show is changed another 394 times, leaving us with Austin actually appearing. JBL runs down his career stats, including saying that Vince has referred to Austin as the greatest draw in company history because NOTHING IN WWE CAN BE REAL. Right Rusev? Also, brilliant idea to have Austin come out first and not have him around later on when Monday Night Football kicks in to try to get some fans back.
Austin plugs the podcast with Lesnar tonight before bringing out the Undertaker to FINALLY hype up the match. JBL continues his nonsense by calling Undertaker the most iconic performer in sports entertainment history. He’s not even the most iconic person from Texas in the arena right now.
Austin leaves and Undertaker promises that this Sunday he will make the gates of Hell look like the gates of Heaven. This brings out Heyman and Lesnar almost immediately and Heyman promises that Lesnar will gain his revenge this Sunday. Then Undertaker will know what it’s like to die with a tainted legacy. It will be a legacy of dominance marred by the conqueror who took everything away from him.
Undertaker takes off the hat and robe while saying that if Lesnar takes everything from him, it means Undertaker can fight with nothing to lose. Brock comes straight to the ring but drops back off the apron. Well at least Heyman can relax. There better be more from this tonight because that’s nowhere near enough to build up this match. Undertaker’s nothing to lose line was good though.
John Cena/Dudley Boyz vs. New Day
Cena will officially have another US Open Challenge on Sunday. That piques my interest while also scaring me to death. I still have a bad feeling it might be Big Show and that’s not good for anyone. Before the match, Woods thinks the New Day are all unicorns because they’ve brought magic back to the WWE.
Big E. gets in some cheap shots at the Dallas Cowboys before reminding Cena and the Dudleyz about the beating they too a few weeks ago used the brass. Kofi says they used the brass to kick their……Woods: “KOFI! PG SHOW!” Kofi: “So what? We’re the New Day!” He finishes the line and Xavier gets in a comical gasp.
Bubba elbows Kofi in the head to start but it’s quickly off to D-Von for a double team elbow as we take an early break. Back with Cena taking the rotating stomps in the corner, followed by a running downward spiral from Woods for two. Big E. gets two off a side slam (with bonus dancing) but Cena dropkicks him in the chest and makes the tag to D-Von. Everything breaks down and Cena dives on Big E., leaving Woods to roll D-Von up for the pin at 8:32.
Rating: C. A lot of this was in the commercial so it’s a hard one to grade. I’m tired of seeing these groups fight though and hopefully the whole thing is wrapped up on Sunday. New Day continues to just own every single show they’re on though and the line from Kofi before the match was great. Not a bad match or anything but it’s the same thing we’ve seen several times now.
Post match Woods takes an AA, followed by a superbomb through a table.
We get some breaking news: the Wyatt Family has attacked Randy Orton over the weekend, meaning he’s out of the match on Sunday. No word on if this is legitimate or not but I haven’t heard anything about a Wellness violation or an injury so I’m assuming storyline.
Ambrose is sick of this and says he’s got business with Luke Harper and Braun Strowman tonight.
Nikki Bella/Alicia Fox vs. Naomi/Sasha Banks
Now pay attention here people. Watching a Bellas match, you too can find out how they empower women every second of every day. They talk about it in every interview and that makes it so right? Sasha and Alicia get things going and it’s Banks getting two off a dropkick. It’s off to Naomi for an a-may-a-a-a-a-a-zing dropkick (sweet goodness that doesn’t get better without the music) and we take a break.
Back with Fox keeping Naomi from tagging out, followed by a double suplex (was that the empowering part? I for one could certainly feel women everywhere being stronger when a Bella did a basic wrestling move so it must have been). Naomi comes back with some kicks but Nikki hits a running dropkick to the ribs before bending over to choke Naomi on the ropes. A few more kicks are enough for Naomi to tag in Sasha for some knees to the face (empowerment down by two points).
It’s quickly back to Naomi who rams Nikki into Alicia to set up a rollup for two. Nikki’s spinebuster plants Naomi and the Rack Attack is enough for the pin at 8:47. Cole had to make sure to mention that it was a team win. Not that he mentions Alicia by name or anything but this certainly wasn’t all about Nikki, like everything else in the division.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than Nikki being awesome, because that’s exactly what this match was supposed to showcase. I’m not sure why this needed to be shown again, but maybe it can empower the Total Divas ratings and help build the crossover audience that these shows are supposed to share.
We recap Kane pinning Rollins last week. This has resulted in Corporate Kane being suspended. Of course the Authority could solve the obvious problem this creates by just saying KANE has been suspended but that would make too much sense. For the bosses of a global corporation, HHH and Stephanie are dumb sometimes.
Speaking of dumb things, breast cancer is dumb. I didn’t know this until Stephanie told me so, meaning she’s done has job for the night.
Here’s Shawn Michaels, who stops for a bite of pizza on the way. Shawn talks about being in the Cell before and how nothing can prepare you for it. He’s been in the Cell with the Undertaker before but there’s another match on that night as Roman Reigns is finally finishing things with Bray Wyatt. However, this brings out Seth Rollins instead. Rollins asks why Shawn is out here when he was just supposed to introduce him.
Those were his instructions, but Shawn has been ignoring instructions for over twenty years now. Well save for all those years when he wasn’t on TV but I get his point). Seth says those instructions came from HHH himself. Shawn needs to be talking about the man people have been calling Shawn Michaels Version II (John Morrison? Dolph Ziggler? Tyler Breeze? Shelton Benjamin even?). Michaels brings up that exact point: if he had a nickel for every time someone was going to be the second Shawn Michaels, he’d be a billionaire.
He never tried to be anyone else and just became the best ever on his own. Shawn mentions Kane but Rollins goes on a rant about how sick he is of Kane (since when did Rollins become the voice of the masses?) but there’s no music to play him off. Shawn says the worst part about being the second version is no one plays your music. Besides, Seth has a match right now against Ryback. Version I’s (not Matt Hardy as he’s too busy trying to figure out how that injunction actually works) song plays him out.
Ryback vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title. Ryback charges right at him to start and no sells some of the champ’s strikes. There’s part of a Flair Flip in the corner and a big chop puts Seth down. They head outside with Ryback’s ribs being driven into the barricade, followed by a Rollins suicide dive to send them into the announcers’ table. Seth is smart enough to put on a bodyvice back inside Ryback is fine enough to throw Rollins onto his shoulder and spin him around into a powerslam (that was different), followed by a spinebuster. Rollins bails from the Meat Hook, kicks Ryback in the ribs, and hits a Pedigree for the pin at 4:04.
Rating: D. BUT HE’S THE #1 CONTENDER FOR A TITLE!!! Of all the people you have to feed to Rollins, you pick someone who is getting a title shot in six days??? Why can’t they get any booking involving Rollins correct? It’s not had. Throw out….I don’t know…..Jack Swagger? As in a guy with NOTHING going on? No instead it needs to be someone you’ve been building up for months and who has a title shot on Sunday. Only in WWE.
We look at Summer Rae costing Rusev a match on Smackdown and then getting turned down by Ziggler.
Dolph Ziggler/Cesaro/Neville vs. King Barrett/Sheamus/Rusev
Rusev beats Neville into the corner to start but Neville escapes and does his flips across the ring. Some kicks keep Rusev in enough trouble for a tag off to Cesaro, who tags Neville back in after just a few seconds. It’s off to Sheamus to pound Neville down before Rusev comes for even more stomping. A big forearm sends Neville into the announcers’ table and a staredown takes us to a break.
Back with Neville still taking a beating but he avoids a charge and tags in Cesaro for the running uppercuts. A high cross body gets two on Sheamus but a collision puts both guys down. Double tags bring in Ziggler and Barrett with Dolph cleaning house. The big elbow drop gets two but Rusev makes the save. Ziggler mostly hits a Fameasser on Barrett for two followed by a superkick for the same. Rusev kicks Cesaro the floor and Neville does the same to Rusev, setting up a HUGE flip dive to take both guys. Ziggler rolls Barrett up for two but it’s a Brogue Kick from the floor to give Barrett the pin at 12:57.
Rating: C+. I like six man tags as you can fight so much stuff into one match while getting some fresh pairings. The match was just kind of there but it had a hot ending and that’s all you need most of the time. Barrett and Sheamus being rebuilt is a good thing and I’m glad it was Ziggler taking the fall as he can lose and lose without ever taking any real damage.
Here’s Flair for the third legends segment. He makes it quick by plugging Wrestlemania in Dallas next year and introduces Roman Reigns, who will team up with Ambrose to fight the Wyatts again. Roman gets to the ring but the Wyatts (including Erick Rowan but without Luke Harper, who was shown on the graphic earlier) are here in a hurry. Reigns gets two chairs this time and says one is for him and one is for Bray.
They get inside and sit in the chairs with Reigns talking about how Bray likes to kick people while they’re down. He knows the monsters are coming for him in a minute but let’s talk about this Sunday. When the monsters can’t get in the Cell, Bray won’t be able to get out. The fight is on but Roman has the chair to knock the monsters off the apron and send Bray to the floor. Ambrose runs out for backup and the Wyatts bail.
The Authority is in the back when Shawn comes in. They think Reigns and Ambrose shouldn’t be in a 2-3 handicap match against the Wyatts tonight but Seth isn’t available. Rollins doesn’t like the idea of being protected so he’ll go out there and it’s time for a Shield reunion. WITH AN HOUR OF BUILDUP BECAUSE THIS COMPANY IS STUPID!
Brie Bella vs. Charlotte
Non-title. Charlotte starts with her rolling headscissor slams but stops to yell at Nikki. Back in and the Brie Mode knee has Charlotte in trouble and we hit a long chinlock on the champ. Brie does the YES Kicks because she doesn’t know how to wrestle like a heel but thankfully Charlotte comes back and hits a quick spear and the Figure Eight for the submission at 5:34.
Rating: D. Brie is really bad at this heel thing. Her big spots are a dropkick, a move where she’s trying to get the fans to shout with her and her husbands YES Kicks which get a very positive reaction. She’s supposed to get the fans to boo her but instead we’re stuck with face spots and chinlocks. Well done Brie. You’re still empowering women of course because you wrestle and stuff.
Renee Young comes up to accuse Paige of attacking Natalya last week. Paige thinks it might have been Summer Rae, Lana, Eve Torres, Kaitlyn, Trish Stratus or even Lita. Renee presses her on this so Paige says Renee is no Erin Andrews, nor is she as cute.
Kevin Owens vs. Mark Henry
Non-title. So Owens is here but having him interfere in Ryback’s match earlier was asking too much. Owens mocks the Hook Em Horns sign and gets thrown to the floor. He’s lucky he didn’t get shot. Back in and Owens avoids a splash and gets two off a quick backsplash. Henry gets back up and shouts about being here fifteen years (it’s been more like nineteen) and headbutts Kevin in the corner. Owens stops him with a superkick though and actually nails the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 3:42.
Rating: C-. That ending more than raises this up as Owens showed some shocking power with that one. Henry had some fire here but was cursed by being born in Texas, meaning he had no chance at winning here. This was better than I was expecting and that’s always nice to see.
Post match Ryback (LOSER!) chases Owens off but Henry throws Owens back in for a powerbomb (LOSER WHO DOESN’T SELL A RIB INJURY!).
Rollins assures us that this isn’t a Shield reunion.
Long video on the history of Lesnar vs. Undertaker. Well their recent history as their first Cell match is ignored.
The Kickoff match has been changed to a rematch of the six man from earlier tonight.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. Wyatt Family
It’s Strowman/Rowan/Bray here. We get the big staredown to start with Rollins taking his time to stand beside Reigns and Ambrose. Rollins insists that he start and he gets Rowan right in his face. That means it’s off to Reigns instead and Rowan gets beaten down in the corner. Off to Ambrose vs. Wyatt with Dean running Bray over and tagging back out to the champ. Bray kicks Seth in the ribs and we take a break. Back with Dean coming in to hammer on Strowman but the giant runs him over to regain control. Bray kicks him in the face and Erick’s side slam gets two.
Cole brings up the horrible ending to Ambrose vs. Rollins inside the Cell last year as the announcers make sure to remind us that this is NOT a Shield reunion. Dean fights out of a chinlock and escapes a Sister Abigail attempt but Strowman pulls Reigns off the apron. Rollins is ready for the tag but he grabs his knee and drops to the floor before limping up the aisle. Reigns Superman Punches Rowan but it’s Strowman with the standing choke. Roman is in trouble but Dean comes in with a kendo stick (after throwing chairs to the side) for the DQ at 14:12.
Rating: C+. Well this could have been worse. It’s a good and logical thing to have Rollins limp away, especially when you have a potential big Wrestlemania moment on your hands with a proper Shield reunion. I still don’t like even teasing it like this but WWE feels the need to waste everything they can whenever they can. Good enough match.
Reigns cleans house post match with a HUGE dive over the top and spears to Bray and Erick. The fans think this is awesome to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. That’s really as high as I can go with this due to so many stupid decisions which I think you can figure out already. This show did a lot of really good things though and had more energy (read as less Authority/Kane) than any show has had in months. Lesnar vs. Undertaker is still a horrible “big” main event but it wouldn’t be WWE if they didn’t overestimate drawing power. It’s a good show here but my goodness the things they could do without the stupid mistakes.
Results
New Day b. John Cena/Dudley Boyz – Rollup to D-Von
Nikki Bella/Alicia Fox b. Naomi/Sasha Banks – Rack Attack to Naomi
Seth Rollins b. Ryback – Pedigree
Rusev/King Barrett/Sheamus b. Neville/Cesaro/Dolph Ziggler – Barrett pinned Ziggler after a Brogue Kick
Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight
Kevin Owens b. Mark Henry – Pop Up Powerbomb
Wyatt Family b. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns via DQ when Ambrose used a kendo stick
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Aside from the important shows, my favorite reviews to look back on are the shows where people say I got the ratings totally wrong. I’ve changed my opinion on shows before via a second look so maybe that’s going to happen here. This week’s show was pretty much hated but I had a decent enough time with it. Let’s get to it.
We start immediately with the big story of the night: the Authority isn’t here (and won’t be here despite saying they’re trying to make it all night). Therefore Corporate Kane is in charge and gets to book the show on his own so he makes himself vs. Seth Rollins in a lumberjack match. Why doesn’t he make this a title match you ask? Plot convenience of course.
Throughout the night, the Authority keeps trying to get hold of Kane and ask him what the main event is but bad reception keeps cutting them off. Why doesn’t HHH send him a text or an e-mail so he can get the information when the reception is good and doesn’t have to be on his phone at that time? Plot convenience of course. Granted it wouldn’t matter in this case as the Authority found out about the match and told Kane he had to change it.
Naturally this gave us Demon Kane vs. Rollins because that’s still supposed to be different. This wasn’t the best idea, especially given that the fans aren’t thrilled to see them fight in the first place, so now they get to fight twice. Monday Night Football was a weak game and they had a chance to do something good, but we get Rollins vs. Kane I instead of the only match at the pay per view. I know I defend this company a lot, but there are times where they do stuff that boggles my mind.
Ambrose and Orton had a male bonding segment that was interrupted by New Day. As usual New Day stole the show with pure charisma and asked why Orton has been a part of so many groups. This led to a very long tag match (by Raw standards at least) that didn’t do much for me but could have been far worse. If my best option is nearly twenty minutes of pretty good wrestling, I’ll gladly take it over the drek that Raw is capable of putting on any day. Even on a new day, like the team that won the match due to some face miscommunication.
Things aren’t boding well for Orton/Ambrose heading into the pay per view. For one thing they lost here and even worse they’re actually on the pre-show. That screams angle for later in the show to me, as they’ve been in one of the biggest stories on the show and the card currently has six matches. I could easily see a fight breaking out to set up Orton vs. Ambrose on the show, because why build what could be a solid midcard pay per view match when you can throw it out there with an hour of build?
Video on Undertaker vs. Lesnar, which would air again (or at least a very similar version) later in the night. Well that’s nice of them. It’s not like either guy can be bothered showing up and making me want to see the match so I’ll take what I can get.
Nikki beat Naomi in a nothing match but the fans chanted for Sasha to fill in most of the time. The more I think about it the more I’m glad they haven’t added Sasha to the title match in the hopes that we get past Nikki’s rematch and move on to something else, because you know this company loves itself some rematches.
Dolph Ziggler answered the US Open Challenge and lost like everyone else does. It was another good match but when are they going to pick something for Cena to do at the pay per view? Word on the street is that he’s leaving for a few months after the show but at the moment there’s no one to challenge for the title and no real prospects, unless they throw Big Show in there again. Would that really be a big surprise at this point? You would think Ziggler wins it here but I guess this was the payoff to the accidental superkick. Every day that goes by scares me even more that we’ll get something stupid at the pay per view.
The Dudleyz squashed the Ascension. At least they’re on TV.
Sheamus and King Barrett beat Neville and Cesaro in a nothing match. Barrett has said he wants to be a tag wrestler and Sheamus/Barrett would be fine enough for a team. I’d like to see Cesaro/Neville actually win something but they seem to be the latest acts on the doomed bulletproof list.
Roman Reigns came out and gave a big speech about how Bray was trying to take away his livelihood. This has been described as horrible but I really liked it. What was far worse was the obnoxious Chicago crowd jeering the whole thing because they can’t shut up for five minutes. They decided a long time ago that they don’t want to see Reigns (they’ll take anyone but him I assume) and no matter what he says, they’re going to boo. This gets annoying quickly and unfortunately that’s often what decides everyone’s reactions to the speech. Roman got to the point and delivered, which is a big improvement over his usual stuff.
In something I really don’t like, Reigns beat Braun Strowman by countout. I could live with this if it was like Strowman’s debut match against Ambrose where it was a squash, but in this case Roman hung with Braun the whole way and basically knocked him out to win. That shouldn’t happen for months but this is WWE where the idea of CHILL OUT AND WAIT is sacrilegious. Not a good brawl either and that’s not a good thing, especially with Braun losing and being made to look beatable this early.
Here’s the column on the Lana/Rusev/TMZ fiasco:
Then Ryback beat Rusev in about three minutes because Vince loves publicity as long as it’s controlled publicity.
Kevin Owens squashed Kalisto to end one of the best uses of the mini feuds that I’ve seen in a long time. They don’t need to do their usual tropes so let Owens beat up a midcard tag team instead. The story works fine and Owens vs. Ryback is built up even more. Simple, yet effective. I love that idea.
Brie Bella pinned Charlotte in a tag match because the way to get someone new over in the division is to give them the title and then have them lose almost every match. Paige and Natalya fought a bit to pad out the match. I do like the idea that they have more than one Divas story going at the same time, but they could have better ideas than Brie Bella pinning the Divas Champion.
Kane pinned Seth Rollins off a tombstone. This really doesn’t surprise me at this point and it shouldn’t surprise you either. Neither should Rollins retaining the title in a boring pay per view match.
So….yeah I’m not sure what I was thinking. Ziggler vs. Cena was good but not good enough to make up for a lot of the boneheaded moves going on here. This is looking like the weakest pay per view I’ve seen in a long time and WWE really doesn’t seem interested in making anything of it. Lesnar vs. Undertaker might as well not even be happening because neither guy seems interested in building it, leaving us with a main event of Kane vs. Rollins. Which we saw here. And it sucked.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Looking at the difference between real fake and fake real in wrestling.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-worldwide-leader-in-not-knowing-the-difference/42877/
I can’t wait to hear all the purists whine about how this isn’t real but having to leave to go see who Matthew Berry says they should bench for their fantasy team this week.
Cool news for wrestling fans as this is going to be about five minutes a week and could lead to more coverage down the line.