Maybe I can start getting these things done before the next show starts. We’re firmly into the Extreme Rules build now, and by firmly into I mean we’re almost to the show. Therefore we need some stipulations for the big matches but we’re taped, meaning it’s not likely to be the most thrilling show. Let’s get to it.

Cena opened things up with the Open Challenge for the US Title and beat Bad News Barrett in a decent enough match. These two have fought so many times over the years that it’s kind of hard to care anymore, but at least the Challenges are doing their job. I’d like to see someone from NXT debut through one and hopefully they continue after Extreme Rules. Speaking of after, Rusev came out and blasted Cena with a chain to set up a Russian Chain match for the PPV. It makes sense given Rusev being involved but these matches have a high rate of suck more often than not.

Paige won a Divas Battle Royal for the #1 contendership to give the fans something to cheer. Naomi then turned heel and beat her down so Paige can go off to make a movie. They REALLY need to stop building people up and then send them away for six weeks to make a movie that 87 people might see. Or maybe they should stop with the bad movies and just do what they did before: pick a movie that is going to be seen and slap their name on it.

On top of that, as I went on about on Smackdown, who does this leave as a face Diva? Emma? Fox is acting like a heel and turns every four days anyway, the Bellas, Cameron and Naomi are confirmed heels and Paige is leaving. Are they really hoping that a returning Layla is going to be a big deal? Natalya is supposed to be a heel but wrestles like a face because her psychology is all messed up, but she’s awesome. Right?

Bray Wyatt has a new target. Yeah whatever. Go win a big match already.

The Lucha Dragons beat up the Ascension because that’s what they do. They did it in NXT and they’re doing it on Raw. I still feel bad for Ascension but they were dead in the water months ago.

Roman Reigns came out and talked about going to Suplex City until Big Show came out to continue THE STUPIDEST FEUD IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. Show beat him up on the props but Roman kept getting up. Indeed, it’s for a last man standing match. Of all the things I’d love to grab Vince by the throat for and shout at him about, keeping Big Show in this spot is one of them. How can they possibly think that beating up Big Show over and over and over and over and over and over and I think you get the point by now, is going to help Reigns look like a big deal?

Orton beat Cesaro via DQ to earn the right to pick a stipulation, but then Kane came out to make sure the Tag Team Champions were hurt as much as they could and made Orton vs. both of them. As you would expect, Orton beat both of them in one match because he could. By this point, this show was starting to make my head hurt.

Rollins yelled at Kane and teased getting him fired by the Authority. So yes, the two stories that are being built up are the Divas battle royal from last week and what seems like another Kane face turn. BECAUSE THAT CREATES RATINGS BECAUSE KANE IS BIG! LIKE BIG SHOW!!! Rollins wants Kane to lay down later. One last thing though: Rollins emasculates Kane and it seems like he’s going to rise up because of it. Stephanie emasculates people and they get to stand there and take it.

Dean Ambrose beat Adam Rose to remind us that Dean Ambrose does in fact exist.

Big Show tried to talk Kane out of turning on the Authority. Bryan would do the opposite later, but Bryan brought up the Fingerpoke of Doom because we must make fun of WCW, despite a lot of the fans not even being alive for that moment. But hey, it makes Vince smile at his past accomplishments and that’s what we need to do.

Fandango beat Stardust in a filler match which set up Fandango turning face and dumping Rosa. I highly doubt this is the big career saver he’s needing.

Kane beat up Rollins and the Stooges before laying down for him. For the thousandth time, no one cares about Kane in this role.

Mizdow beat Miz in another short match to set up a big match later on, because that’s how WWE works.

The Prime Time Players kept making fun of other tag teams. I’ve gone into this in depth elsewhere, but this is the best thing that has ever happened to these guys.

Ryback beat Luke Harper in yet another short match because we need time for Kane segments.

Naomi explains that she’s tired of getting passed up for people like AJ. Thankfully it wasn’t another IT’S ALL ABOUT ME character but my goodness this division is dying for faces. It’s interesting that they keep mentioning AJ’s name.

Dolph Ziggler beat Neville in another entertaining match. This is the Mighty Mouse gimmick that everyone who didn’t think the thing through was terrified of.

Rollins and Orton announced that it’s going to be a cage match with the RKO banned. Ok then. Seriously that was my reaction. A brawl ended the show.

This show pretty much just came and went. There’s not much going on at the moment that makes me want to see the next show, but there’s a difference between being horrible and just being dull. They really need to get past the Wrestlemania rematches, but we’re likely getting ready for yet another round of these matches in May. Hopefully that means a strong start to the summer, but this was really nothing worth seeing. Neville is still a high spot though and could mean something big later on. Not much to see this week, except for the dozens and dozens of Kane and Big Show fans out there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Let’s see if this one makes your skin crawl.

So I got to thinking about Seth Rollins tonight and the path he took to the World Title. In case you’ve forgotten, here’s a flashback.

He starts by winning a developmental title. That’s nice people say, but what can he do with the big boys? Well he makes it to the main roster and gets in a team. That’s nice too, but he’s being outshined by his partner. The other guy has the look, the skills, and the charisma and is going to be the star.

Well then they win the Tag Team Titles and it’s time for the guys to shine. The title reign goes well enough and they put on some good performances, but once they lost the titles, it was time to move on up. They started fighting bigger names and it all went well, but, as happens with every team, they split. As is the obvious move, they started feuding and the heel won, despite the fans thinking the other guy was the natural. Somewhere along the way the heel also won the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Then he got his big break and became captain of an elimination tag team. Despite looking like the guy that was going to be forgotten, he was suddenly the star and someone you could see as the future, even though his old partner seemed like the better option in some fans’ eyes.

Then he cashed in Money in the Bank, won the World Title and walked out of Wrestlemania in one of the biggest shocks of all time, despite one of the hottest stars in the world and the guy fans were sure was going to take the title (his former Tag Team Championship partner) were in the same ring. Some people were scared, some people were stunned, some people were pleased, but he walked out with the title and is going to brag about it for the rest of time.

Oh wait I’ve gotten my notes crossed. I meant to be talking about THIS GUY.

But I was talking about THIS GUY.

So yeah this one is kind of late but it’s been a very hectic week and reviewing a show that didn’t do too much for me in the first place wasn’t really high on my priority list. We’re past the Wrestlemania season now and things are about to settle way back down. It’s now the Wrestlemania rematch season though and that can be a rough go. Let’s get to it.

The opening was, of course, the Authority but thankfully without HHH and Stephanie, who are on vacation for the next few weeks. After a few unintentional shots at Kane for not doing much at Wrestlemania, Rollins bragged about how great he was. Well he’s certainly getting into the heel champion schtick already. Orton came out, said his usual stuff, and was put into a triple threat for the #1 contendership against Ryback and Reigns. All three will have singles matches first though.

Before we get to the first match, there’s something that needs to be noted here: Rollins is VERY lucky that the Authority hasn’t been on Raw for the last two weeks (if you count the week after this show). If they’re on the show with him and associated with him, they’re going to dominate whatever scene they’re in because Raw is completely centered around the two of them (and by the two of them I mean Stephanie because we all know this is her company). Let Rollins have some spotlight as the new champion, at least until the bosses get back.

I’ll sum up the three matches here: Orton beat Kane in a short match via DQ, Ryback beat Luke Harper in an even shorter match with only one big move, and Reigns pinned Big Show because what else would he be doing? None of these were anything worth seeing, but they certainly did help fill in time on the show. What else were they going to do? Give the Divas a chance out there?

Neville’s second match on Raw was against Seth Rollins. Of course Rollins won, but I’ve actually seen people saying Neville is being buried. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Curtis Axel, Seth Rollins, Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus this Thursday. In his five TV matches on the main roster, the lowest level guy he’s fought is a former Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion. That’s one of the best groups of opponents I’ve ever seen someone start against.

This week’s open challenge for the US Title was answered by Stardust. That’s exactly what this thing should be used for: giving someone like Stardust, who isn’t going anywhere at this point, a good match and something interesting to do for one night. When else is he getting a title shot or a match with Cena? Stardust loses to a guy he’s supposed to lose to, Cena beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and we get a title defense in a good match. Everyone wins, except the fans that don’t get how common sense and logic work.

Naomi pinned Nikki again in a tag match with Paige joining her against the Bellas. This was a horrible match with Naomi botching a ton of stuff and the Bellas proving every criticism of them right: they have no flow in the ring, they have limited charisma, their work is ok at best and there’s nothing interesting to them. But that’s what we’re getting in the Divas division because what else could we ever get?

The Prime Time Players kept making fun of other tag teams. This is more interesting than anything else they’ve ever done so run with that thing.

The New Day doesn’t like the fans booing them because their clapping gives them strength. This was another chance for Big E. to show off his comedic chops as he imitated a young kid. Why they use him like they do when they clearly know about his other talents is beyond me. Then the Lucha Dragons beat them in a short match because New Day sucks.

A bunch of Divas came up to Kane and asked for a #1 contenders battle royal next week. Of all the things they can set up in advance, it’s a DIVAS BATTLE ROYAL???

Sheamus came out and explained that he’s acting this way because he’s tired of the little guys getting pushed. He’d fight anyone his size, and then he beat Mark Henry in about two and a half minutes. Another hometown boy bites the dust.

Bray Wyatt has a new target. Let me know when he actually beats one of these targets.

Miz cheated to beat Mizdow. You can pencil in Mizdow beating Miz with the same move next week.

Orton won the triple threat to go to Extreme Rules in a quick but decent match with the Authority interfering as much as you would expect them to.

This was resetting things for Raw and there wasn’t a lot to see on it. There’s enough good on it to make the show work, but this was about setting up things for later on instead of getting things done tonight. It wasn’t anything to see though and that makes for a dull show instead of a bad one, which often times makes for a worse show. Not much to say here, which you can probably tell.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 13, 2015
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T

We’re taped from England tonight as the build to Extreme Rules continues. Coming off last week, we know Randy Orton is going to be challenging Seth Rollins for the World Title at the next pay per view but we don’t have much more set up than that. The only match announced so far is a Divas battle royal for the title shot against Nikki Bella. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with John Cena to a very loud JOHN CENA SUCKS to the tune of his music. Even Cena seems a bit blown away by how intense it is tonight. Cena brings up the London crowd not liking him all that much but it means they have more energy than any crowd WWE performs for.

He gets them on his side by saying London deserves Wrestlemania and has to pause for the YES chant. Those in charge have decided to wait for a London Wrestlemania, much like Rusev waiting to challenge for the US Title. The open challenge is on right now so here’s Bad News Barrett to a nice reaction to accept. Why wait for his Intercontinental Title shot at Extreme Rules?

US Title: Bad News Barrett vs. John Cena

The fans are almost entirely behind Barrett as he shrugs off a headlock and kicks Cena to the floor. Back in and the champ puts on another headlock so Bad News kicks him in the face again. The knees to the head in the ropes have Cena in even more trouble and Barrett hits another big boot to knock Cena to the floor one more time. Cena comes back with a dropkick and a high cross body for two. He’s been adding more moves lately and it’s always nice to see.

Barrett rolls to the floor to avoid the Shuffle and sends Cena into the steps. A missed top rope elbow lets Cena hit the Shuffle this time but the AA is countered into Winds of Change for two. Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere but Barrett is too close to the ropes. A low superkick gets two for Bad News and both guys are down. Barrett throws him into the corner for another kick to the face, setting up Wasteland for another near fall.

The AA gets two (when was the last time the first one of those pinned someone not named Stardust?) and the Bull Hammer gets the same (when was the last time Cena didn’t kick out of a finisher?), followed by the springboard Stunner into the second AA to retain Cena’s title at 9:55.

Rating: C+. Not bad but it felt like they were going through the motions here more than having a naturally good match. It doesn’t help that it’s clear that Cena is retaining until Extreme Rules, but could you at least make it feel like Barrett has a better chance? Also, stop kicking out of the finisher and having the AA only get two. We get the concept now.

Post match Lana comes out to distract Cena so Rusev can come in and get a cheap shot with a chain. The rematch is officially a Russian chain match.

We recap Orton winning the triple threat last week to get the pay per view title shot.

Orton vs. Cesaro and Rollins vs. Ziggler tonight. If Rollins and/or Orton win, they get to pick the stipulations for Extreme Rules.

Battle Royal

Rosa Mendes, Paige, Naomi, Natalya, Cameron, Summer Rae, Alicia Fox, Emma

Winner gets Nikki Bella at Extreme Rules and the Bellas are on commentary. Everyone pairs off and Rosa actually dropkicks Summer and Natalya, only to get dropkicked out a few seconds later. Another dropkick, this time from Fox, gets rid of Emma. Cameron and Alicia team up to go after Paige and get loudly booed, only to have Paige slide back in. A double Rear View puts Cameron down and Alicia gets rid of Paige, leaving her with Naomi as the final two. They fight to the apron with both coming close to elimination, only to have Paige avoid the Rear View, allowing her to superkick her to the floor at 3:50.

Rating: D-. Well that sucked, just like most Divas battle royals. The Bellas are great at getting on my nerves, but unfortunately they have to get in the ring at some point and that makes things even worse. They’re more annoying than anything else and that’s not what you want as the face of a division. Hopefully Naomi gets back in this as she belongs in the title scene.

Post break Paige reminds us of her success in WWE so far but says nothing feels better than to win this match in England. She remembers getting paid five pounds for a match when she was wrestling in high school gyms but now she’s in front of her family and friends on the biggest stage of them all. Naomi comes back in and lays out Paige before driving her into the barricade.

Bray talks about a certain someone he’s becoming obsessed with and it’s becoming a sin. Love can blind everything and whoever he’s talking about is in luck. Bray has decided to reach inside himself and pull out the love that is growing like a cancer. Fear is stronger than any love can be because it can take away what you care about. Still no word on who he’s talking about.

Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension

These teams just can’t get away from each other. Ascension doesn’t get an entrance but they do share an NXT chant. The big guys throw Cara around to start but a quick hot tag brings in Kalisto to hit his springboard twisting cross body. Cara hits Konnor with a suicide dive, setting up the Salida Del Sol and the Swanton Bomb to pin Viktor at 2:18.

Here’s Roman Reigns for his first interview since Wrestlemania. The fans chant SUPLEX CITY and Reigns remembers going there. He busted Brock up though and gave the fans the fight he and Brock had promised them. This brings interviewer Booker T to Seth Rollins, who Reigns was about to face had it not been for Big Show. Reigns thinks Show has just been following Rollins around lately and the fans seem to agree.

This brings Big Show onto the screen to say he’s loved making Reigns into the biggest failure in WWE history. He’s going to turn him into a football league? It was his pleasure to stop Reigns every week and he’s going to keep doing it every chance he gets. Reigns says Show should come out here and say that to his face so Reigns can shove the trophy down his throat.

Reigns goes to leave but Big Show jumps him, throwing Reigns into parts of the set and against the door of the cab. He adds a chokeslam on top of the cab, which doesn’t give way.

Randy Orton vs. Cesaro

If Orton wins, he gets to pick a stipulation for the World Title match at Extreme Rules. Cesaro takes over with some European uppercuts in the corner and a double stomp for no cover. Kidd is enjoying the match so much that he’s taken his headphones off. We hit the chinlock on Randy but Orton fights up and comes back, only to have Kidd grab his leg for the DQ at 2:19.

Post match Kane comes out and says he’s still in charge because the Authority is back from vacation but don’t want to be in London. He can’t let this match end in a DQ so he’s restarting it as a handicap match.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets double teamed and we quickly take a break. Back with Cesaro hammering away in the corner before it’s off to Kidd, who launches Orton into a European uppercut for two. Orton fights back but Cesaro pulls his partner to the floor to avoid an RKO. That’s fine with Orton who drops Cesaro back first onto the barricade, only to eat Tyson’s knee to the face. Back in and Kidd’s springboard elbow (love that move) gets two, but Cesaro gets throw to the floor, allowing Orton to catch another springboard in an RKO for the pin on Kidd at 6:46.

Rating: D+. Well Cesaro and Kidd, it was nice while it lasted but you’re now the victims of being Tag Team Champions. I have no idea why we needed to see Orton beat both of them at once, when having him beat either Cesaro or both of them in back to back singles matches would have accomplished the same basic result. But then again, why not have the champions look like losers if you can?

Rollins gets on Kane’s back for Orton winning but Kane tells him to beat Ziggler tonight. Rollins thinks that’s too dangerous, so he’s facing Jamie Noble instead. Noble doesn’t like the idea of laying down when Kane got them into this mess. Kane has another idea involving Jamie’s testicles and a car battery. Rollins backs Noble up and says Kane’s job is to protect the title. Maybe Kane should be the one laying down tonight. If Kane doesn’t like that, maybe they should just call HHH. Notice something here: Seth is emasculating Kane to set up a face turn. Stephanie emasculates people and we never see a comeback.

Adam Rose vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose goes right at him to start but Rose takes it to the mat for a chinlock. That goes nowhere as Dean fights back up with chops and punches before hitting some running forearms. He follows up with a suicide dive and Rose is in big trouble. Back inside and Rose knocks him into the ropes for the rebound clothesline, followed by Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:08. Nothing match but when was the last time Ambrose won a match clean?

Big Show reminds Kane of Survivor Series where he turned on John Cena. He knows the Authority is the winning side and warns Kane about crossing the Authority. Kane understands and says he’ll do what’s best for business against Rollins.

Fandango vs. Stardust

Well this is…..something. Stardust runs him over to start and tells the fans his name. Fandango goes up but Stardust rolls away and hits the Disaster Kick for the pin at 1:10.

Post match Fandango blames Rosa for the loss and dances on the table to his old music, sending the crowd into a HUGE Fandangoing dance. See, why do this after a loss? Why not have him beat like, Heath Slater without having Rosa out there and say that’s why he hasn’t been winning? Same result, no loss.

Daniel Bryan can’t believe Kane is going to lay down and brings up the Fingerpoke of Doom of all things to say how stupid it was. Kane finally snaps but Bryan tells him to go out there and be a man. For goodness’ sake STOP TALKING ABOUT WCW LIKE IT WAS TRASH. We get it: fourteen years ago you beat a show that wasn’t even on the air six years. LET THE THING DIE ALREADY.

Rusev vs. Cena is officially a Russian chain match.

Seth Rollins vs. Kane

If Rollins wins, he gets to pick a stipulation for the match vs. Rollins at Extreme Rules. Kane is out in a suit but starts disrobing after the bell rings. He gets in Seth’s face but hears that it’s best for business. Kane slowly lays down but stands up, drawing in the Stooges. They’re both thrown to the floor so Rollins yells at him, only to get smacked in the face. Rollins tells him to lay down but eventually eats a chokeslam. Kane signals for the tombstone but stops mid throat slit. He lays down again and pulls Rollins on top of him for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C+. Well they started slow but that second batch of staring was straight out of Funk vs. Brisco back in 68. Just great stuff there. Unfortunately it was downhill from there and the Stooges interfering ruined what was otherwise great stuff. Still though, that 18 seconds of staring made it work. Good enough match.

Miz vs. Damien Mizdow

Mizdow has Summer Rae with him after kissing her on Smackdown. After spending a minute on the disrobing, Miz jumps Mizdow to get going. A quick Reality Check puts Miz down but neither can hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead, Mizdow rolls him up for the pin at 2:10.

This week, the Prime Time Players make fun of Los Matadores by pulling out a stuffed rainbow bear to represent Torito. Young: “Rainbow is my favorite color!” Titus asks why two guys from Puerto Rico are bullfighters. Cue the Millions of Dollars dance. These promos are nothing special, but man alive they’ve actually got me liking the Players a bit. Imagine that: you get to know a wrestler a bit better and you actually have a bit of a connection to them.

Cole calls the announcements of the stipulations the Extreme Decisions and says people have been calling it by that name tonight. WHO IS CALLING IT THAT COLE??? WHO BESIDES YOU HAS CALLED IT THAT IN THE LAST FIFTEEN MINUTES???

Ryback vs. Luke Harper

Ryback hammers away to start but Harper shoves him out of the corner. A superkick drops Ryback though and it’s Gator Roll time. Back up and Harper has to roll away from the Meat Hook so he heads outside, where he nails Ryback with a piece of the announcers’ table for the DQ at 1:50.

Naomi is disappointed in herself for attacking Paige out there but cracks up and says she couldn’t care less. See, it’s all about her not being Divas Champion. Why did they have to have a battle royal tonight after she pinned Nikki twice? She was in the same season of NXT as AJ Lee but AJ is gone and Naomi hasn’t had her chance yet. Why is AJ considered a legend already? It’s time for her to get her shot. Thank goodness it wasn’t another “it’s all about me” character.

Dolph Ziggler questions Kane laying down for Rollins as being best for business. Tonight though, he wants to compete in this ring so it’s open challenge time.

Neville vs. Dolph Ziggler

Good pop for Neville, as usual. A quick wristdrag takes Dolph down and Neville flips into the corner. He takes Dolph down and hits a standing shooting star before slapping on a chinlock. The running DDT plants him for two though and we take a break. Back with Neville throwing Ziggler into the air for a big crash. Dolph makes the mistake of rolling to the floor for a HUGE springboard moonsault and it’s all Neville so far.

Neville slides in but slides right back out, walks the barricade and hits a 450 onto Dolph to really get the crowd into things (with good reason. That looked GREAT). Back in and Neville hits a standing enziguri but charges into a superkick for two. Neville comes back with another kick but can’t hit the Red Arrow. He misses a charge too and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 9:09.

Rating: B-. Neville is a great guy to have on the roster as he has a good look and can fly all over the place to pop the crowd. The key thing to him is that he doesn’t wrestle like a small guy, but rather a guy who happens to be small. As long as they don’t acknowledge his size too much, it’s never going to be a detriment against him.

Ziggler checks on Neville post match but gets run over by Sheamus. Neville takes a Brogue Kick but Ziggler fights back, only to be taken to the floor for a Brogue Kick of his own.

It’s time for the announcement of the stipulations and Rollins has a La-Z-Boy. The Stooges have their own leather chairs but Orton isn’t impressed. Orton wants to fight right now but Rollins would rather just announce his stipulation: at Extreme Rules, the RKO is banned. Orton likes that thinking and wants to take away Rollins’ best weapon as well. That’s not his speed or intelligence, but rather the Authority. Therefore, it’s a cage match at Extreme Rules, which takes away some of Rollins’ smirk. Orton wants to fight now and cleans house but Rollins runs from a DDT attempt, leaving Mercury to take the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show and I’m really liking where things seem to be going at the moment. There’s some questionable stuff for sure, but we’re getting better motivation from wrestlers than we’ve had in a long time. The key to that change: they’re telling us. If there are two things that drives me crazy in wrestling it’s getting no explanation or being told we don’t deserve one. Just something simple like “I don’t like small people” or “I beat the champ twice and should be #1 contender” tell us more than enough to warrant a feud. Keep that up and things will get better every week.

Results

John Cena b. Bad News Barrett – Attitude Adjustment

Paige won a battle royal last eliminating Naomi

Lucha Dragons b. Ascension – Swanton Bomb to Viktor

Randy Orton b. Cesaro via DQ when Tyson Kidd interfered

Randy Orton b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – RKO to Kidd

Dean Ambrose b. Adam Rose – Dirty Deeds

Stardust b. Fandango – Disaster Kick

Seth Rollins b. Kane – Kane laid down

Damien Mizdow b. Miz – Rollup

Ryback b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper hit Ryback with the announcers’ table

Dolph Ziggler b. Neville – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 6, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the regular style shows this week with Wrestlemania season wrapped up. The big story coming out of last week was Brock Lesnar’s suspension, meaning we’re not likely to see him again for a few months. In the meantime, we have Randy Orton challenging for the World Title at Extreme Rules, which is likely the focus of tonight’s show. We also find out who is answering this week’s open challenge for the US Title. Let’s get to it.

Saxton is in for Cole on commentary.

We look at some stills of HHH vs. Sting.

The Authority is in the ring minus HHH and Stephanie. Rollins is booed out of the building but Big Show says the champion is trying to talk. Seth says the Authority is on vacation tonight before bragging about the attendance record, the number of people watching and the number of times they trended worldwide. That last part sounded so stupid. HHH put the final nail in WCW’s coffin because the Authority always win. Big Show is officially the best giant of all time and Kane…..well Kane was there too!

Show says everyone on this roster is under his shadow but the important thing is Wrestlemania ended with a new, honorable champion. Rollins again fails at coming up with something Kane did at Wrestlemania but before Kane can give his answer, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt. Randy congratulates him on having his Wrestlemania moment. Of course it happened after a huge RKO took him out earlier in the night.

Rollins calls that complaining but Orton says he wants another shot, this time for the title. I’m pretty sure that match was already confirmed on Smackdown, or at least heavily implied. Orton asks Kane for the shot, and even asks if Kane needs to call mommy and daddy for permission. Kane demands respect and makes a three way match for the #1 contendership tonight between Orton, Reigns and Ryback. As usual, I had that typed before Kane even started because WWE is that predictable these days. However, Kane mixes things up a bit by saying all three of them have to compete in singles matches first.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Randy gets to the middle rope to start and drives in some forearms to the chest, only to get caught by an uppercut to knock him to the floor. Back from a break with Kane stomping away but getting caught in the elevated DDT. They head outside with Orton nailing a clothesline, only to take a chair to the ribs for the DQ at 6:58. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a way to get to the storyline ending.

Post match Kane tries a chokeslam on the chair but Orton counters into an RKO attempt, sending Kane running.

The announcers bring up AJ retiring and show a tweet of her boots.

Brad Maddox is in Kane’s office when Rollins comes in to yell at Kane. The priority is to protect Rollins, but for some reason Kane doesn’t get that. Kane takes credit for Rollins winning Money in the Bank, so Rollins says Kane is going to have to answer to the Authority. That’s fine with Kane, as he puts Rollins in a match tonight. For those of you counting, that would be five matches made during the show.

Cole is considering legal actions against Lesnar. JBL had to have emergency surgery for a torn abdomen wall and Booker wants Lesnar fired. Yay! Legal ramifications!

We look back at Lesnar’s path of rage last week.

The WWE Network is free for April. That’s the third free month out of six.

Seth Rollins vs. Neville

Non-title and Rollins is suddenly far less nervous. He grabs a mic and talks some trash to Neville, saying Neville must be terrified to be out here. Rollins has been there before too and offers the pipsqueak a chance to sit this one out. Neville kicks him in the ribs and we’re ready to go. A quick armdrag puts the champ down but he stomps Neville in the corner to take over. Neville does his front flip out of the corner and hurricanranas Seth to the floor, setting up a big flip dive. He slides back in to avoid the Stooges and we take a break. Back with Neville being sent face first into the middle buckle and Seth dropping knees to the face.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins picks him up for some knees to the ribs. Seth is toying with him as he drives some elbows into the head before putting on another chinlock. A running clothesline flips Neville inside out but he counters the buckle bomb with a hurricanrana. It’s Red Arrow time but Mercury offers a distraction so Noble can break it up. Instead it’s a quick rollup for two on Seth, who counters another hurricanrana into the buckle bomb. Curb Stomp ends Neville at 11:39.

Rating: C+. Let’s get this out of the way right now: Neville is not buried, isn’t being buried, and doesn’t even have any dirt on him. If you need an explanation for why, I’ve failed at teaching you anything. This was a good showcase for Neville but there was no other logical way this could end without interference. The fact that Neville is in this spot two weeks in is a great sign for the future.

Rollins gives him another Curb Stomp after the match.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. The city of Austin has declared this WWE Day so Cena is extra fired up. A lot of fans want him to come out and lose the title already, but this title is a symbol of opportunity. Someone can come out here and have a chance to put their name in the history books. Take Rusev for example. He wants his rematch for the title, but for some reason he wants to wait until Extreme Rules. Why not have the match tonight in Austin? Anyway, someone can come out here right now and step up to get stepped on.

US Title: John Cena vs. Stardust

Cena grabs a headlock to start and throws Stardust to the ropes, only to have him skin the cat. Back in and Cena drops some elbows as the announcers talk about Back to the Future for no logical reason. A delayed suplex gets two for the champ as Cena is mixing things up this week. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Stardust bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cena diving into a dropkick and Stardust hitting something like Diamond Dust for two.

What looks to be a springboard hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb to give Cena a near fall of his own. The AA doesn’t work so Stardust hooks an Alabama Slam for another two count. Cross Rhodes is countered as well and Cena plants him with a kind of sitout powerslam. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Stardust kicks him in the head and gets another close cover off a DDT.

A moonsault press gets the same and Cena is in some trouble. It’s not enough trouble though as he trips Stardust into the STF. Stardust is close to the ropes though and hits a quick Cross Rhodes for two. That’s enough for Cena as he hits the springboard Stunner and the AA retains the title at 13:10.

Rating: C+. This is exactly what the open challenge should be doing: giving someone you don’t usually see in a spot like this getting a chance to showcase themselves. Good match here with Stardust getting to show off a bit but ultimately coming up short. What I liked best about this match though: it was fresh. I’ll take a match with an obvious ending over a match we’ve seen 19 times before almost every time.

Naomi/Paige vs. Bella Twins

The Bella Twins’ name graphic now lists them both as Divas Champion. I know it’s not intentional but it’s probably more accurate than they intended. Brie takes Paige into the ropes to start and sends her to the floor for a hard shot from Nikki. The BRIE MODE knee gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Off to Nikki for a bodyscissors for a bit before Nikki misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Naomi. She botches a spinning headscissors before kicking Nikki in the face before slipping on a landing out of the corner. The Rear View gets two with Brie making the save, only to have Paige kick Nikki down. The headscissors driver gets zero reaction but it’s enough to pin Nikki at 5:00.

Rating: D-. Sweet Christmas the Bellas are dull in the ring. They’re just not interesting no matter how you look at them and there’s nothing in the ring that makes me want to watch them. It didn’t help that Naomi was botching almost everything she was doing here and looked more like Cameron than anyone else. Horrible match that gave me flashbacks to the dark days of the division.

The announcers talk about Miz vs. Mizdow but we go to the Prime Time Players ripping on New Day with the same insults from Smackdown. They switch over to making fun of Ascension with some home made spiked shoulder pads that keep breaking. Ascension can’t read either and they hit the Millions of Dollars dance. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks.

Luke Harper vs. Ryback

Harper nails a quick dropkick to start and a big boot sends Ryback to the floor. After teasing loading up the announcers’ table, Harper takes him back inside for a Boss Man Slam and something like a crossface. Ryback gets the rope, avoids a charge to send Harper into the post and hits Shell Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 2:48. That was his only significant move of the match.

The New Day is hurt and disappointed by the crowd thinking they suck, but they won’t find disappointment in their dancing. They clap or they snap. Big E. says he was eating at the airport yesterday when a kid came up and asked him (with Big E. doing a kid’s voice) to sign a breakfast menu for his brother. Of course he could, because he claps. It really doesn’t make more sense in context.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Kofi is on the floor this time but his slapping of the apron makes the fans chant NEW DAYS SUCKS in time. Big E. runs Cara over to start and both he and Woods take turns stomping away in the corner. Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya are watching in the back as Woods gives up the hot tag to Kalisto. Things speed way up with Kalisto snapping off the hurricanrana but Big E. makes the save. Cara low bridges Big E. to the floor but Kofi gets in a cheap shot from the floor to give Woods two on Kalisto. Woods like the cheating but the Dragons make a blind tag, allowing the Salida Del Sol to set up the Swanton from Cara to pin Woods at 2:59.

Big Show vs. Roman Reigns

Because, uh, reasons! They slug it out to start with Show taking him into the corner for some chops. Show throws him across the ring by the vest and stands on his back on the ropes. They head outside with Show slowly plodding around and throwing Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes back with a running apron kick but Show spears him down as we take a break. Back with Big Show still dominating because, uh, reasons!

Show charges into a boot in the corner and gets staggered by some clotheslines, only to catch Reigns in a side slam. The bouncing Vader Bomb gets two more and Show baseball slides him into the barricade. Reigns comes up to the apron and hammers away before Stunning Show over the apron. The Superman Punch from the floor sets up another in the ring. The third sets up the spear for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D. I did not like this match. I am ceasing this rating description for reasons as an exercise in anger management due to a desire to not die at the age of 43, which is also Big Show’s current age, which is usually when wrestlers retire but he’s still out there getting to dominate people and for some reason WWE doesn’t get that we don’t care.

Kane is on the phone when a bunch of Divas come in to hit on him. They bring up the “Give Divas A Chance movement” (Alicia’s finger quotes, not mine) and ask for a #1 contenders battle royal. Kane makes the match for next week to get rid of them.

Reigns says watch what he does next.

Here’s Sheamus to say he looks like a real man. The fans tell him that he looks stupid but he says the grown up is talking now. He’s a warrior who belongs here, unlike the go getters who just won’t go away. People like Dolph Ziggler are insects who need to be crushed. Sheamus is told to pick on people his size, but there aren’t too many his size. Cue his opponent.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry is the hometown boy. Sheamus goes to leave but gets pulled back into the ring to start the fight. The bell rings and Henry blocks a kick with a right hand to the face. A top wristlock goes badly for Sheamus as he’s shoved to the floor. Back up and Sheamus can’t finish the ten forearms as Henry elbows him in the face, only to have Sheamus nail some knee lifts on the apron. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick for the pin at 2:33. Booker calls Sheamus a viking for no apparent reason.

We look at the big talking segment from Wrestlemania.

Bray Wyatt shows up on screen and says someone’s entire life revolves around dedication. However dedicated you are, you can’t compete with the forces of nature. You can’t compete against fear either, for it is not your drive for success that motivates you. What motivates you is fear and it holds the key to your undoing. Does he have your attention now? Behold the new face of fear.

Ryback is hungry for the WWE World Title.

Damien Mizdow vs. Miz

We get a battle of sunglasses removal to start but Mizdow knocks him to the floor before taking his off. Back in and Mizdow chokes him in the corner but eats a big boot to the face. Mizdow shoves him to the corner but doesn’t seem that comfortable on offense. A snap suplex and knee drop keep Miz in trouble. Mizdow scores with an electric chair and headbutt, followed by the Reality Check for no cover. Miz tries a low blow but gets taken down and punched in the face. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks is enough to pin Mizdow at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This show is going WAY too long and it’s starting to drag horribly. It’s pretty clear that this match was designed to set up a gimmick rematch, maybe for the rights to the name and the music, at Extreme Rules. Nothing much to see here though, other than Mizdow looking awkward on offense at times.

Orton has nothing against his opponents but he’s winning tonight.

Ryback vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Winner gets the title shot at Extreme Rules. Ryback tries to Shell Shock Reigns seconds in but gets taken down by Orton’s backbreaker for two. A clothesline gets the same on Reigns but Ryback throws Orton to the floor. Cue the Authority on the stage, where they can see Ryback powerslam Reigns. Roman breaks up the elevated DDT on Ryback before clotheslining him in the corner. There’s a Superman Punch to Orton but Ryback plants Reigns with a spinebuster.

The Meat Hook puts Reigns down again but Ryback has to stop Orton with a spinebuster as well. Reigns breaks up Shell Shock on Orton with a spear and all three are down. Now the Authority starts coming to the ring but Reigns dives on all of them. Show KO Punches him though, only to have Rollins go after Orton. Cue the Stooges to go after Orton but Ryback beats them up. The RKO on Ryback sends Orton to Extreme Rules at 5:18.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it wasn’t bad while it lasted. I’m getting back into Ryback but there was almost no way Orton didn’t win here. Unfortunately it really seems that they’re setting up Reigns vs. Big Show again, despite the interest just not being there. That never stopped them before though.

Rollins hits a Curb Stomp before we can hear what the voices do in Orton’s head.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more good than bad but it really started dragging at about 10:30. At the end of the day, three hours is just too long for a single wrestling show every week. It doesn’t help that a lot of the talent was working twice tonight and we had more than one Divas segments. The stuff with the new guys or the new characters was good, but they really need to get away from Big Show and the Bellas. Those three are just crippling whatever scenes they’re in and the fans aren’t going to lighten up on them anytime soon. Watchable show this week but it needed to be half an hour shorter.

Results

Randy Orton b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair

Seth Rollins b. Neville – Curb Stomp

John Cena b. Stardust – Attitude Adjustment

Naomi/Paige b. Bella Twins – Headscissors driver to Nikki

Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Swanton Bomb to Woods

Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Spear

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Randy Orton b. Ryback and Roman Reigns – RKO to Ryback

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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They don’t happen often, but they’re some of the most exciting things in wrestling.

I’m talking about the surprise challenger. This usually happens when all hope is lost and you’re left wondering who can save us now. I’m sure there are more of them, but here are four of the best I’ve ever seen and moments that I still smile at no matter how many times I watch them.

We’ll start at Uncensored 1997. After winning one of the most unique matches of all time (a three way, twelve man battle royal/elimination match), the NWO stood tall again. Hogan and company had cleaned house and there was no one left to fight for WCW. The show was about to go off the air, and then this happened (it’s after the match is over but check out the whole thing if you have time).

Notice the crowd just coming unglued as Sting shows which side he’s on. He was the hero WCW had been waiting for and the one man that could stop the NWO. The other thing to notice: Heenan’s last line. The show is going off the air and Sting is standing tall, but Heenan gets in one more thing: “HE CAN BEAT HOGAN! HE CAN BEAT HOGAN!” For the first time in a long time, there was hope.

Speaking of hope, in 2001, there wasn’t much for the WWF. With Vince McMahon in their corner, the Two Man Power Trip of Steve Austin and HHH had both major singles titles and had just gotten done destroying the Hardy Boyz. Lita was all alone, and we needed some saviors. This includes the end of the match where HHH won the Intercontinental Title back from Jeff Hardy.

Austin and HHH’s heads snapping back when the fire went off is good stuff. The match sucked but this was the challenge they needed.

In September 2012, John Cena hurt his shoulder (or something related to his arm) and was in jeopardy of not making it into the Hell in a Cell main event against CM Punk. Punk was also feuding with Mick Foley (kind of) at the time. Here’s the promo with Punk ripping into the injured Cena and going backstage, where he ran into someone. Yeah this is a stretch, but I still really love the character.

Yeah I liked it.

Now we get to the moment that changed an entire promotion. On January 2, 2013, NXT Champion Seth Rollins successfully defended his title against Corey Graves. This led to the locker room coming out to try and fight off the Shield, but the three men beat up about fifteen guys with ease. With nothing left, NXT Commissioner Dusty Rhodes looked defeated. I said out loud “in a good wrestling promotion, the unstoppable monster would come out for a big showdown with these guys.” Then this happened (best video I could find).

That’s when I knew NXT was something special, and it hasn’t let me down yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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This is a show where most fans just didn’t want to see it. The interest wasn’t there, but it had one good thing going for it: it’s Wrestlemania. No matter what happens on the show, there’s always something worth checking out. A few days before the show, I was talking about the card on the radio and the host said that it was a good card on paper and you would be looking forward to the show if you hadn’t seen the build. That seemed more and more accurate as the show came closer. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the card, I want to cover some of the scenery. Above all else, that stage was HUGE. It was probably an easy forty yards long, making the wrestlers look tiny by comparison. That helped give the show the huge feel it was hoping for and the whole thing looked great. I know some people have complained about the sunlight but it really didn’t bother me that much. I’ve seen shows outside where it was raining so hard that there were puddles in the ring so some sun isn’t exactly a disaster.

The opening pre-show match was its usual fun, though I liked the elimination style from last year better. Jey Uso not being able to go hurt things a bit but having one less person might have been the best thing that could have happened in this mess. Also, it’s not like he’s some polar opposite from his brother. When I’m reviewing an Uso match I just pick one of their names and alternate whenever they tag. Does it really matter either way?

The match was a huge spotfest as you would expect and eventually lost all semblance of wrestling. Normally that would sound bad but it was exactly what it should have been here. The champs stood out more than anyone else and it’s clear that no one cares about New Day and Los Matadores, but did anyone not know that coming in? The champs retains after Cesaro stole a pin, which was exactly the ending they should have gone with.

The second match was the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and Big Show won. Why you ask? Because apparently he’s never won a battle royal and we’re supposed to ignore World War 3 1996, the one he won on Smackdown in March of last year, the one he and Kofi co-won on Raw in 2011, the ECW vs. WWE Head to Head battle royal in 2006 and a battle royal he won on Nitro because this company doesn’t know how to do research, which could include things like looking online or, I don’t know, ASKING HIM IF HE’S EVER WON A BATTLE ROYAL.

Anyway, this was your old standard formula of having everyone brawl then have some people do a sequence to get eliminated. Mizdow got the big face turn against Miz, only to get thrown out by Big Show with ease. Yeah having Mizdow eliminate Big Show on his own would be a stretch, but having him win by eliminating Miz would have been a huge moment. Naturally we need Big Show to win his fourth battle royal because no one remembers the others. Oh and if you remember the story, he was the last man standing in the 2000 Royal Rumble but wasn’t declared the winner.

Aside from Big Show and Mizdow, the only story was Hideo Itami from NXT. He didn’t do much, but at least he was there and got to have a quick moment. It was probably better to have him in there instead of someone they’re ready to push like Balor. Itami is just a kicking machine at this point but he’s still decent enough for a spot like this. Not a fan of the match if you couldn’t tell by three paragraphs about a battle royal.

Aloe Blacc sang America the Beautiful. Four things: Aloe Blacc sounds like a lotion and is a far cry from Aretha Franklin or Gladys Knight. Also, why is it almost always America the Beautiful and almost never the Star Spangled Banner? Either is fine but I’ve always wondered that. Finally, I’m out of touch with modern music and I don’t seem to be missing anything.

The opening seven man ladder match was pretty much exactly what fans were expecting: a huge mess with almost no story to it and one big spot after another. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before and it probably would have been better to have five people instead of seven but for an opening match, this was solid. I would have put this on later and not had it so soon after the other mess of the Tag Team Title match, but there was nothing much to complain about here.

As for the people in the match, they did just about what they were supposed to do. R-Truth and Stardust were just there (though Barrett breaking Stardust’s glittery ladder was hilarious), Ziggler was the one that got close but couldn’t pull it off, Ambrose got put through a ladder for the big spot (which was actually really smart because it wrote him off the show later so he couldn’t stop the big ending), Barrett was fighting everyone, Harper was there for the power and that only leaves one guy.

Having Bryan win a title in the opening match was a good way to get the show off on the right foot. Aside from fighting for his fifth different title in five Wrestlemanias (US Title, World Heavyweight Title, Tag Team Titles, WWE World Heavyweight Title, Intercontinental Title), they had to throw the fans a bone to go from him having one of the coolest moments ever at Wrestlemania to opening the show the next year. Winning the Intercontinental Title is a step down, but at least it’s Bryan getting back into the swing of things. Good stuff here and a solid opener, though it probably could have been trimmed down.

Things slow down a bit with the first singles match of the night as Randy Orton beat Seth Rollins. This was kind of a surprising result for me but it also telegraphed what was going to happen later in the night, ala Edge back in 2006. The RKO at the end with Seth being launched through the air was good, though I’ll still take Evan Bourne’s Shooting Star into an RKO for the best ever. Either way, Orton can nail that thing from almost anywhere and it never stops looking great.

However, this opens up some problems: we’ve seen these guys fight a few times now and we’re supposed to pay to see them fight at Extreme Rules and potentially at a third show in May? The booking may be logical on paper, but I’m not sure it’s going to get people to watch week after week. It was a good match, but I really liked what Wade Keller said about Orton on Austin’s podcast this week: he’s so naturally talented and has been around so long that the expectations on him are very high. When he has a good match, it’s almost considered a disappointment because he can be so naturally good when he’s on his game.

Now we get to the match which is probably going to get the most controversy all night. This is where the great entrances began. First we had Sting coming out to a Japanese drum band, which was cool but kind of bizarre at the same time. I have no idea what kind of connection it’s supposed to be, but I guess WWE just wanted Sting to have his own entrance that was unique for their show. The problem with this was Sting is always a high energy guy and the slow drum stuff didn’t quite fit the top level show in the world.

Then HHH came out with an army of robots, in Terminator gear with Arnold Schwarzenegger himself doing a video introduction. It was at this point that you knew HHH was going to be the big star here and that this was really just a story with Sting involved instead of a story about Sting. The question here was what could Sting do after a few years off and all that time in TNA.

Amazingly enough he looked pretty solid. This was an old school style match with both guys working each other over and HHH working over the back to slow Sting down. This was a very nice change of pace after Orton and Rollins having the fast paced main event style and all the insanity that took place in the first three matches. It’s the style they should have gone with and it worked fine.

Then seven people interfered, completely ignored wrestling history, made old people look old, having Kevin Nash do what I think was the funniest bit of the night, and then ending it with a hammer to the face. In case you didn’t watch the show and are just reading this (for some strange reason), it was the Monday Night Wars all over again with DX running in first (with Sting DIVING OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL THREE OF THEM. Not bad at 56 years old) and then the NWO slowly hobbling in to counter them, all capped off by Shawn superkicking Sting.

Where do I even begin? Aside from the logical Shawn interference, this was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen in years. First and foremost, Sting spent nearly two years fighting the NWO (or at least the Black and White) but now he’s going to fight with them for the Monday Night Wars? A battle where his partners are the biggest WWF guy ever to that point and two guys who were the definition of hired mercenaries in the war and are fighting against one of their best friends? That’s the best they’ve got?

It also caused us to see the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac on the same level as Hall, Nash and Hogan. Under no circumstances at any time in the history of professional wrestling does that hold up. Despite the fact that Billy Gunn is less than five years younger than Sting (no real connection to this, just find it kind of mind blowing), there is no way that these six guys are on the same level, even with Nash going down and holding his quad in a funny bit.

After all the insanity and ignoring continuity for the sake of the Monday Night Wars revival, Sting kicked out of the superkick (and out of the Pedigree earlier) and broke the sledgehammer, only to have the third Stinger Splash collide with the sledgehammer to give HHH the pin.

This is one of those moments where you sit at the screen, shake your head just a bit, then either sigh heavily or break a small appliance while screaming loudly. The fact that they brought Sting in and had him lose in his first match came off as one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve seen in years. It felt like they were closing the door on Sting, which is fine in theory, but they couldn’t close it on a victory? It was such a mess that it wouldn’t have been remotely clean so HHH doesn’t lose face and the fans get to cheer.

Instead, it was one last (and by last I mean not last whatsoever) thumb of the large nose at WCW, which was entirely what this feud was based on, even after Sting said how ridiculous that would be. They even had the factions come out for the match, despite WCW going out of business FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Is WWE really that insecure about a show on the air less than six years total that they have to dig it up and bury it one more time nearly fifteen years later? Apparently so, because that’s exactly what they did.

Oh but we’re not done. After the match, we got the big respect handshake. As I said in the original review: YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! This was supposed to be HHH saying he respected Sting after the battle. Keep this one in mind because we’ll be coming back to it later.

I know I complained about it a lot, but this was one of the big song and dance numbers that you can only get at Wrestlemania and I had a blast watching it. The run-ins were incredibly fun (illogical but fun) and Sting looked like he did back in the best of his TNA years, which was a pretty good time for him. I was impressed with what he did on a wrestling front and the match was more entertaining than it had any right to be. No it didn’t make sense and was a huge mess, but what else were you going to do with this match, especially with that ending?

Daniel Bryan celebrated with a bunch of former Intercontinental Champions for the Ron Simmons cameo. Jericho would have been a good addition here but what we got was fine.

Then we had a concert as all the NWO and DX guys try to figure out whose walker is whose. I still don’t like these things as they waste so much time to give us songs we’ve heard a million times coming into the show, but hey, at least WWE can say this is an ENTERTAINMENT show instead of silly old wrestling. You know, because a seven minute concert totally changes the opinion of the show right?

The not so serious portion of the show continued with the Divas tag match between AJ Lee/Paige and the Bella Twins in what wound up being AJ’s final match in WWE (for now). This match reenforced my issue with the Bellas all along: they’re just not very good. Yeah they’re watchable in the ring and have gotten WAY better in the last six to eight months, but there’s a very thick line between good and watchable. They’re combining to be the top of the division and that’s just not going to cut it for a long term run at the top. AJ made Nikki tap in a short match after spending a lot of time on the floor.

I tried to like this match and it was better than most Raw matches you would see, but it didn’t work as the big Wrestlemania match for them. The Bellas are good at getting heel heat and playing the stuck up better than you villains, but they simply cannot back it up in the ring. It’s like they’re following a tightly written script for the match and would be lost if anything went against that plan. That’s a sign of a sub-par worker and the Bellas fill that role like Nikki fills out those shorts.

In theory this was to set up AJ vs. Nikki for the title, but why couldn’t that be taking place at Wrestlemania? I complained about this leading up to the show and it still didn’t make sense here. Having this just be a tag match after a couple of title matches were used to set it up was totally backwards thinking and never held up. The wrestling was ok, but the Bellas are just killing this division every day they have the title. It’s like the life is being drained out of the division, much like HHH’s World Title reign in 2003: the matches aren’t bad but you roll your eyes when the title is retained and beg for ANYONE to give you a break.

The Hall of Fame did their thing. This was what it was and I always like seeing them out there and hearing the Fink’s voice. It felt faster this year, but there’s nothing wrong with taking five minutes out of a four hour card to let these people salute the crowd on the grand stage one more time.

Now we get to one of the bigger matches as Rusev defended the US Title against John Cena. In what might have been the entrance of the night, Rusev came out in a tank. I mean a full sized let’s go blow a hole in a building tank with Lana surrounded by Russian soldiers carrying the belt. I know Cena’s entrances are well known at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to have his hands full topping this.

Cena had a big speech with videos from American Presidents and shots of the military as we heard about how great this country is. Then Cena just walked to the ring as usual for a pretty anticlimactic ending. It was cool, but it needed something more than just Cena coming down the long aisle. I mean…..RUSEV WAS IN A TANK! Side note: the next night on Raw and then on Smackdown, the announcers started using The Russian Tank as a nickname for Rusev. I dig it.

The match….not so much. It was still good and an entertaining match with Cena finally breaking the Accolade and pinning Rusev to win the title, but it was just kind of there. I still liked it and Cena brought the goods (including a springboard Stunner, which should be someone’s finisher again minus the springboard) as he always does. This isn’t a loss where Rusev is never going to recover as every monster built up like him has to lose eventually.

It’s good and Rusev has already won his big match over Cena, but the ending hurt things. The story for this match had been built around submissions but Cena just sidestepped Rusev so he could hit Lana and nailed the AA for the pin. I mean….that’s it? It’s a good match and the ending had to be Cena winning (though imagine the promos Rusev could cut if he escaped with the belt), but the ending was a bit flat for me. At least this way they avoid the ultra repetitive YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

Now we get to the long time filler as the show had two matches to fill in about 80 minutes at this point. HHH and Stephanie came out to brag about owning the company, roughly an hour after HHH was all humble and shook Sting’s hand, making that whole thing even more stupid. I’m still kind of annoyed at that six days after the show.

Anyway, they talked about how they own the people and everyone here and you knew this was going to bring out the Rock. He did his long entrance and catchphrases, only to have Stephanie do her usual schtick as she ripped him apart and made him look like any given guy on the roster. She went one step too far though and slapped Rock in the face, so Rock bailed to the floor…..and walked over to Ronda Rousey.

Now THIS was a worthy use of a celebrity as Rousey is one of the biggest stars in sports right now (and ignore the fact that I have a thing for her) and fits this story perfectly. As you would expect, Stephanie ran her mouth and got her arm cranked. By cranked I mean slightly tugged on instead of being put in a full on armbar, but I’m assuming Ronda is only allowed to get so physical outside of UFC. That’s fine. Disappointing, but fine.

My guess is this sets up HHH vs. Rock with the girls as seconds, because even though Stephanie is a great talker, I don’t think anyone is going to buy her lasting more than five seconds against Rousey. Real trained fighters can barely break fifteen seconds against Rousey but we’re supposed to buy Stephanie as having the slightest bit of a chance against her? Because it’s in a wrestling ring? I’m not buying that, and this is assuming Rousey would ever be allowed to work a match in the first place. Rock vs. HHH is an established feud and seeing them go at it one more time would be fun.

It mostly worked, except for one problem: IT TOOK NEARLY HALF AN HOUR. This was one of the longest talking segments I’ve seen in a long time and a lot of it is due to Stephanie and Rock taking forever to get to the point. Now once Ronda was introduced it was fine as everyone was begging for her to, as Rock put it, reach down Stephanie’s throat and play jump rope with her Fallopian tubes”, but sweet goodness they could have cut five to ten minutes of this and done the exact same thing. But then we wouldn’t have been able to hear about Stephanie being Andre’s friend again, because…..why do we need to hear that anyway?

The segment ran long enough that we didn’t have time to recap Bray Wyatt and Undertaker starting small fires to set up their match. The interesting thing here was Bray wrenching his ankle very badly before the show and barely being able to walk. However, he gutted it out and managed to hold up his half of the match. That brought us to the big question: how was Undertaker going to do?

Actually quite well, as it really seems the concussion played a huge role in how bad the match against Lesnar was last year. Undertaker wasn’t at the HBK level, but he was more than fine for a match like this. He’s also grown some hair back to make him look like Biker Taker, which isn’t my favorite look but is miles better than the bald version, which just makes him look old. I don’t really need to see Undertaker again, but it was good to see that he still had something in the tank after last year’s mess.

I have to give a quick bit of praise to Bray’s entrance, which saw a bunch of scarecrows come to life as he walked past them, turning them into his henchmen. It makes no sense but looked awesome, which brings me to something I’ve been meaning to talk about recently. A criticism I’ve been hearing lately is that Bray’s promos don’t make a ton of sense. I want to tilt my head at these people and ask them what is wrong with their heads.

Look at Bray Wyatt. He’s a backwoods cult leader who worships a spirit named Sister Abigail, who told him that he would save the world one day. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you expect him to give a logical promo? The whole point of the character is that he sounds bizarre and only makes sense to those people crazy enough to follow him.

Undertaker talked about spirits, Ultimate Warrior talked about loading spaceships with rocket fuel and Hulk Hogan talked about dog paddling Donald Trump to safety when an earthquake caused New Jersey to fall into the ocean. Bray Wyatt’s promos are closer to Nick Bockwinkel’s than the work of a lot of people praised for their speaking abilities, but people complain that he doesn’t make sense.

Of course they don’t make sense and he’d be failing if they did. He looks and sounds mysterious and you’re supposed to wonder what he means. It makes just enough sense for you to follow it, but the details aren’t all there and that’s why they work. Yeah he gets repetitive at times, but criticizing him for not making sense is an unfair complaint.

All of that brings us to the big main event, which doesn’t have as much to talk about. It was basically Lesnar vs. Cena all over again with Lesnar destroying the challenger and shrugging off his best shots until he made a mistake and let Reigns stay in it, only to have Rollins cash in Money in the Bank and pin Reigns to win the title.

The match itself was fun, but they were running the risk of making Lesnar repetitive. Don’t get me wrong: it’s still entertaining to see him be all freaky strong (even though he has some thin legs, at least compared to how huge his upper body is), but they can only do this for so long before it loses some of its impact. I liked that they had Reigns making a comeback near the end and you weren’t quite sure if he could pull it off, but if they had him survive and win, I would have been scared to show up at Raw the next night. The booing would have been too much for that hair to handle.

Another point here is the blood, which did a lot of good for the match. It’s something you don’t need to see that often, but it’s good in spots like this one. Quick note here: there’s a video going around that allegedly shows the referee passing the blade to Reigns. That’s actually the referee checking on Reigns, who squeezes his hand to show he’s fine. It’s an old technique and not passing a blade.

Rollins cashing in was a good way to end things, but unfortunately it’s going to lead to some repetitive title matches for the next few months, unless they go with some triple threats. Rollins deserves the title though and that’s the important thing to get done. I certainly like the cash in and it kept them from having to pick from a short list of bad possible endings. It’s a great ending to a great show.

Yes this was a great show and I had an awesome time with the whole thing. I don’t know how well it holds up over time with the lack of a bad build and low expectations in the future, but as it stood it was an outstanding show without a really bad match on the card. There are some issues (Sting losing, time getting crunched because of the talking segment going long) but overall, this blew away my expectations and I had a lot of fun watching it. How long has it been since we had two great Wrestlemanias in a row? Seven years or so? However long it’s been, the answer is too long so it was great seeing another classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 2, 2015
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

It was nice while it lasted but this is the final part of the big Wrestlemania week. Tonight is likely going to be the last major shows for now as Smackdown will go back to being the supplemental show it’s been for years. There isn’t much in the way of fallout tonight either as Raw ended without a huge bang. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Rollins and company for a chat. Rollins loves it when a plan works out, like when he cashed in Money in the Bank this past Sunday to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Now he’s living a new life and doing things like flying across the country to be on the Today Show, then flying back across the country to face Brock Lesnar. That gave him some serious jet lag though and it wasn’t time for Lesnar to get his rematch. If Lesnar hadn’t lost his head, maybe he could have had that title shot here tonight.

Cue Randy Orton, who says he remembers everything over the last few months. He played the Authority like a fiddle (a very stupid fiddle) before he got to rip Rollins’ head off with an RKO at Wrestlemania. More importantly though, he’s owed a rematch for the WWE from last year’s Wrestlemania and doesn’t like how that belt looks around Rollins’ waist. Seth wants to know why Randy is dwelling in the past, because he is the future.

Only Rollins gets to decide when the title is defended, which makes Orton insult the Stooges, Big Show and Kane for some reason. At least Big Show won at Wrestlemania while Kane wasn’t even there (he was in the battle royal). What does the Director of Operations do anyway? The way Orton sees it, Kane has gone from the big red monster to Big Red Riding Hood. Kane makes Orton vs. Big Show and offers Orton a potential title shot if he can win.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Orton quickly gets shouldered down but avoids an elbow drop. Show tries to get to the apron but winds up getting pulled into the elevated DDT. Cue the Stooges to break up an RKO attempt for the DQ at 1:19.

Everyone comes in but Randy fights back at Rollins, only to get chokeslammed by Kane. Ryback runs out for the save and it’s RKO’s all around.

We recap Bryan vs. Ziggler from Raw and Sheamus returning after the match. Who in the world thought that hair would be called anything but stupid? I mean, they had to know that reaction was coming right?

Sheamus vs. Bryan tonight, because they can’t keep the matches they set up on Monday straight for twenty four hours.

Natalya vs. Naomi

The Bellas are on commentary. Naomi’s inset interview says she can beat Nikki and win the title but she’ll prove herself until she gets a shot. Feeling out process to start with both girls missing dropkicks but nipping up at the same time. That’s rather impressive in Natalya’s full body outfit. Natalya puts her down for the step on the back into the basement dropkick for two as the Bellas question Naomi’s heart. We hit an abdominal stretch for a bit before Naomi is sent to the apron for a kick to Natalya’s head. She puts Natalya in a headscissors but drives her head first into the mat instead of flipping her over for the pin at 2:20.

Rollins apologizes to Kane for the RKO but Kane likes the sound of Orton challenging for the title at Extreme Rules. Seth tries to talk him out of it but stops to comment on the smell of the office. He leaves and we hear a toilet flush and Ambrose walks in. Harper vs. Ambrose later tonight because of the use of a bathroom. Seriously.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns, who talks about how hard it was to step in the ring with the Beast. He proved he was willing to take a beating and showed he could get up after a bunch of suplexes. Reigns talks about Suplex City but he survived the wave from Lesnar. He’s thinking about buying a condo in Suplex City because Lesnar wasn’t ready for him. Brock didn’t have an answer for all the Superman Punches and they changed his appearance permanently.

The fight changed both of their lives and he’d love to do it again. Saxton asks about Rollins cashing in and Reigns says it crushed him. He was on top of the mountain and Rollins took it away when Reigns was so close. Thirty more seconds and a spear would have won him the World Title. He’s beaten Rollins before so he can, he has and he will beat him again. I liked this more than any other interview I’ve heard from Reigns in a long time as it makes him much easier to relate to now that he’s been humbled a bit. Good interview.

Miz vs. R-Truth

Truth raps to the ring. I don’t remember him doing that for the last few weeks. The first ten seconds are spent with Miz taking off his sunglasses and the second ten seconds are spent on WE WANT MIZDOW chants. Truth shoves Miz off a headlock and hits the Lie Detector. The ax kick misses though and the Skull Crushing Finale is good for the pin at 1:22. Welcome back to Jobber Town Truth.

Mizdow runs out for a Skull Crushing Finale on Miz and puts on the sunglasses.

Here’s John Cena to one of the loudest positive reactions I’ve seen for him in a long time (yeah I know it’s Smackdown). Cena talks about how hard Rusev fought to stay undefeated for a year but seeing Rusev as the US Champion made him sick. It wasn’t due to being Russian, but because of all the things Rusev said about America. The interesting thing is that Rusev was the American dream: he showed up and fought to became everything he wanted to be, but then he thought America sucked. “WELL AMERICA DOESN’T SUCK!”

From now on, this US Title represents opportunity. Cena says bring him your outcasts, your future stars or anyone that the Authority says is a B+ player. He’ll fight anyone from Brock Lesnar to the Bushwhackers (hey now, they’re Hall of Famers) because every Monday night, there’s going to be an open challenge for the US Title. Now THAT is the best news that has happened for the title in a long time.

Cue Rusev and Lana, the latter of whom sounds like she’s lost a bit of her accent. She says Cena is half the man Rusev is because this is Rusev’s world. Rusev cuts her off by reaching out his hand for the microphone. With a glare at Lana, he says he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania so he’s still America’s champion.

In Rusev’s world, people like Cena have opportunities as well: surrender the title or be crushed at Extreme Rules. Cena thinks Rusev is drunk but if the Russian wants a fight, Cena isn’t going anywhere. Rusev wants to wait for Extreme Rules and calls for the flag drop but nothing happens. Instead Cena points and the American flag drops. I’m kind of stunned it took that long to do that. Cena agrees to the match at Extreme Rules. The announcers keep pushing Rusev as the Russian Tank, which isn’t a bad name for him.

We look at Sheamus attacking Bryan again. The tag match is off due to Ziggler being too banged up to compete. And they didn’t know that when they announced the tag match?

Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose

No entrance for Harper. Dean goes right after him in the corner and a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A basement clothesline gets two so Harper just hits him in the throat to take over. It turns into a slugout (shocking I know) until Luke catches a cross body and throws him over the top as we take a break. Back with Dean’s suicide dive being caught so he nails a clothesline on the floor.

The top rope standing elbow gets two but Luke kicks his head off to take over again. Dean escapes the powerbomb and low bridges Harper to the floor. Luke quickly sends him into the timekeeper’s area and loads up the table but Dean dives off the apron with a clothesline. He can’t powerbomb Luke through the table though so Luke shows him how it’s done. The bell doesn’t ring but I’m assuming it was a DQ win for Dean (or a double countout) at about 8:00.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth brawl here with both guys hitting each other really hard. Harper is great in the old Kane role from about 2004 as the midcard monster and Ambrose is fine as the guy who keeps getting beaten up and coming back for more. If nothing else it’s nice to have a match be long enough to rate.

The Prime Time Players make fun of the New Day, with Titus spraying himself with water and shouting about FEELING THE POWER. Big E. sounds like he has a possum stuck in his throat, Kofi has a weird looking chest and Woods has bad hair. They do the New Day chant and crickets can be heard. If nothing else, I love the Prime Time Players shirts based on the old Prime Time Wrestling logo.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title. Sheamus has new music with a slower pace and no lyrics. After seeing the “I’m back” line for the third time tonight, the fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid. Sheamus encourages them and says he doesn’t see any real men around here. All the fan favorites are too vertically challenged and he’s going to crush all the underdogs. So he’s Batista from last year? Barrett is on commentary.

Sheamus shoves him into the corner to start and shrugs off Bryan’s kick to the ribs. Bryan has some more success with the leg but Sheamus drops him with a clothesline. As Sheamus fires off uppercuts, Barrett says he never lost the title and is owed a rematch. That makes Rock, Orton, Bryan, Rusev and Barrett who are owed automatic rematches. It’s almost like they’re completely overusing a plot device.

Bryan scores with some kicks to send Sheamus outside but he comes back in for an Irish Curse to send Bryan to the floor as well. We come back from a break with Sheamus loading up a suplex but flipping Bryan over instead of going down with him. You might remember that as the Crash Landing from the final month of WCW. Sheamus: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???”

Bryan tries some forearms to no avail and gets thrown hard into the corner. Some posing allows Bryan to get a breather though and he moonsaults over Sheamus before dropping him with the running clothesline. A backdrop sends Sheamus to the floor for the Flying Goat. The missile dropkick and it’s time for the YES Kicks. As usual the big one misses but Sheamus can’t hit White Noise.

Bryan sends him into the buckle and kicks the ropes to knock Sheamus back, only to get crotched on the top. The ten forearms are broken up as Bryan grabs Sheamus’ arm. Why did no one ever think of that before? Sheamus knocks him to the floor and onto the announcers’ table, busting Bryan open. Barrett hits a Bull Hammer behind the referee’s back for a countout at 15:33.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as I was expecting as Sheamus is still working the kinks out of his new character. He isn’t doing much besides big power moves, but at least he’s getting on the crowd’s nerves like he should be. Bryan was doing his usual stuff as well, but the match just never got going like you would expect it to.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was nice while it lasted but everything is back to normal in WWE. There wasn’t much to see here other than the announcement of a B level pay per view main event and another rematch from Wrestlemania. The show wasn’t terrible, but it really falls off a cliff after the hot shows earlier in the week.

Results

Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered

Naomi b. Natalya – Headscissors driver

Miz b. R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale

Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper powerbombed him through a table

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 30, 2015
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

Things have certainly changed last night as we have a new WWE World Champion in Seth Rollins, who cashed in his Money in the Bank contract and made the main event a triple threat, allowing him to pin Reigns and win the title. Tonight is always one of the most eventful nights of the year and it’s always interesting to see where things go from here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence with no recap from last night.

Here are a livid Heyman and Lesnar, with the beast in his fighting gear and cuts on his face. Something I noticed last night: for a guy as terrifying as he looks, Brock Lesnar has some skinny legs. Heyman says he’s the advocate for the most non-PG killer of the PG Era. Last night Brock laid a beating on Roman Reigns, just like they promised they would. Heyman’s voice sounds like it’s about to go out. He talks about all the suplexes and has to stop for the Suplex City chant.

Last night, Reigns almost gained Lesnar’s respect but the kid still has a long way to go. Lesnar got bored last night and wanted to go to dinner, so he hit the fourth F5, but here came Seth Rollins (big reaction for that). Seth came out and stole the title by pinning the challenger instead of the champion. Heyman talks about his father being a prominent New York attorney and says he can have the decision reversed in court with the title being held up, but Brock thinks all lawyers are scumbags. He doesn’t want litigation, because he wants his rematch clause.

That rematch will not happen at Summerslam, Wrestlemania XXXII, Extreme Rules or Payback, but it’s being invoked RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW. Cue Stephanie and she’s as popular as John Cena was in New Orleans last year. She praises Brock for a great main event but the fans chant for Ronda Rousey as Stephanie’s arm is held close to her ribs.

The fans won’t get what they want if they make her angry and they calm down. Rollins got on a plane to go to New York for the Today Show and he’s not here yet. Once he gets here though, he’ll be up for the challenge. Heyman says Lesnar wrestles live tonight on Raw for the first time in over ten years. Tonight there’s going to be a new World Champion.

John Cena has issued an open challenge for the US Title and Daniel Bryan is defending the Intercontinental Title against Dolph Ziggler.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

Bryan won the title last night in a ladder match and both guys get jobber entrances here. Ziggler has a new jean jacket vest and Barrett is on commentary. Feeling out process to start as the fans are split. Bryan cranks on the arm as Barrett talks about getting the title back when it’s convenient for him.

Daniel wrestles him to the mat for some hard forearms but Ziggler changes control and hammers away, only to get kicked in the face to break it up. This is starting to get physical. They head into the corner with Bryan firing off some kicks and a hard forearm to the face, setting up the surfboard. Back up and Ziggler fires off a cross body to put both guys on the floor as we take a break. We come back to Bryan fighting out of a chinlock and hitting the running dropkicks in the corner. Those things just look good.

Both guys crotch themselves on top and Bryan nails a belly to back superplex for two. The YES Kicks look to set up the YES Lock but Ziggler counters into a pinfall reversal sequence, followed by sending Bryan shoulder first into the post. The running knee is countered by a superkick for two and the fans give them a standing ovation. It was good but a standing ovation? Really? They slug it out from their knees before turning to headbutts, only to have Bryan get knocked backed and come back with the running knee to retain at 11:53.

Rating: B-. Good match but a standing ovation? I’m fine if this is the kind of match we’ll be getting in the future but I really need more long term proof before I believe the title is back to meaning something. Bryan winning his first title defense is a good sign and it’s nice to see a match not getting interrupted for a change.

Post match Barrett goes after Bryan but Sheamus, with a mohawk and a braided beard, runs out for the save. Barrett leaves but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Bryan and White Noise to Ziggler. Fans: “YOU LOOK STUPID!” Oh that’s an understatement. Sheamus: “I’m back.”

Seth Rollins has arrived.

We recap the Hall of Fame inductions.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Ascension vs. New Day/Lucha Dragons

Woods is the odd man out here. We have our first NXT callup of the night with the Lucha Dragons of Sin Cara and Kalisto. The fans of course chant NXT as Cara and Cesaro get things going with the fans switching to Cesaro. He takes Cara down to start but gets caught in La Mistica for two. Off to Kalisto for some kicks at the arm before a HUGE backflip into a multi-spin headscissors, sending Cesaro out to the floor.

Big E. comes in to a “New Day sucks” chant as he gets to face Konnor. Kofi quickly tags in for a middle rope clothesline before it’s already back to Cara to work on the arm. Ascension gets their act together and slams Cara down as we take a break. Back with Cesaro swinging Cara into the dropkick from Kidd but Cara is able to dive over for the hot tag to Kofi. House is cleaned but the fans still hate the New Day.

The Boom Drop and a spinning cross body get two as the announcers acknowledge the chants. Kidd throws Kofi into a European uppercut but Viktor tags himself in. The real hot tag brings in Kalisto to clean house with a rolling kick to Viktor’s face and a headscissors faceplant. Everything breaks down with Big E. belly to belly suplexing everyone he sees. Cara backdrops Kofi onto the champs and Konnor, setting up Salida Del Sol on Viktor for the pin at 10:08. Booker: “We may have to get every talent from NXT on this roster right now!”

Rating: C+. Total star making performance from Kalisto as he was flying all over the place and making everyone forget Rey Mysterio ever existed. I wish Ascension hadn’t been crushed so much but it’s nice to see the Dragons still having their number as they’re both on the main roster. Hopefully this is just the first of a few debuts tonight.

Heyman tells Lesnar that he’s here.

Video on Neville (no Adrian) but no date for his debut.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

The belt looks huge on Rollins. We get big match intros and Rollins goes over to get in front of Brock as he holds up the title. Seth doesn’t hand over the title and the opening bell never rings. Instead he drops to the floor and says he’s too jetlagged. Plus he has a sore foot from Curb Stomping Lesnar last night so the rematch isn’t happening tonight.

Lesnar goes after him and throws Rollins down before blasting him with a clothesline. They get inside but Rollins flips out of the German suplex. The kick to the face just ticks Brock off though so Rollins tries to bail again, only to get caught in the F5. The Stooges’ save doesn’t work as they get clotheslined and send Rollins running to the crowd. No match as the bell never rang.

Brock throws the announcers’ table over to crush all three of them and beats up the Stooges as a consolation prize and F5’s Cole to a huge reaction. Heyman thinks Brock has gone too far so Brock takes out a cameraman until Stephanie comes out to tell him to stop (her arm seemingly fine already) but Brock hits another F5. That earns him a suspension and he’s out of the building. Brock F5’s the cameraman one more time and finally leaves.

Back with a replay of Lesnar’s rampage and still no commentary. Stephanie says she’ll fine Brock because he’s signed long term so she owns him.

Stardust vs. Damien Mizdow

Byron Saxton is a one man booth now and the table still overturned. Mizdow comes out to the same entrance and music he had with Miz but alone this time. Stardust jumps him to start but Mizdow explodes with a clothesline out of the corner and hits the Reality Check. That’s fine with Stardust who hits a release gordbuster and cranks on a cravate, only to get annoyed at the CODY chants. Back up and a Skull Crushing Finale is good enough to give Mizdow the pin at 2:24.

Miz runs in and hits the Finale on Mizdow before talking a lot of trash.

Video on how Wrestlemania took over the Bay Area and the media appearances last week.

Curtis Axel says the entire roster is jealous of Axelmania. It took 29 men to eliminate him from the battle royal, but the road to Axtreme Rules stars right now.

Neville vs. Curtis Axel

Neville now has a hooded cape and is billed as the Man That Gravity Forgot. Axel goes right for him before the bell and gets a HUGE springboard moonsault to the floor. Back in and we get the opening bell as Neville starts speeding things way up with the front flips and some running forearms. Kicks to the ribs and a running kick to the face set up the Red Arrow for the pin at 1:13. Total squash.

We recap Lesnar attacking the announcers.

Here’s John Cena for an open challenge for the US Title. The fans chant John Cena Sucks in time with the music so Cena does the entrance twice with a smirk on his face. Cena says you’re going to hear about Wrestlemania moments all night but stops to praise the crowd for being so vocal. He mentions them singing and the fans strike up the band again. That means the fans aren’t going to like this: THE CHAMP IS HERE! The challenge is open so come get some.

US Title: John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose

Oh now that’s a surprise. Saxton thought it would be Rusev and even said his name before Dean came out. Ambrose gets taken down with a headlock to start as the fans are all over Cena. Back up and Dean hiptosses him down for one and Cena bails outside as we take a break. We come back with Dean fighting out of a chinlock and Jerry Lawler joining Saxton on commentary. Cena slams Dean down but a kick to the face breaks up the Shuffle. A big boot sets up the rebound clothesline but Cena ducks into the ProtoBomb.

Now the Shuffle connects but the AA is countered into a sunset flip for two. The second attempt at the rebound clothesline gets two and a tornado DDT gets the same on Cena. The champ bails outside and gets taken down by the top rope standing elbow (that’s still cool looking). Back in and a quick AA gets two and a nice reaction from the crowd on the kickout. A top rope AA is countered as Dean hammers away, only to botch a sunset bomb. Instead it’s a Batista Bomb but Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Dean makes the long crawl to the ropes.

Another AA is countered into the STF on Cena with John’s face being far more shocked than in pain. Dean lets go as Cena is getting close to the ropes and another AA is countered into Dirty Deeds for two. This is getting good with the drama and near falls. Cena wins a slugout and they trade finisher counters until Dean hits a cross body, only to have Cena rolls through into an AA for the pin at 14:23.

Rating: B. This took its time to get going but once they started trading finishers you actually believed Ambrose could pull off the upset. It’s a good sign that he’s in a match like this after all those big losses in recent months. He’s still way over and that’s more important than any win or loss he can have.

Post match Cena stands over Dean, who is shaking his head. They slap hands and there’s no heel turn.

Stills of last night’s main event.

Rollins says he earned the right to cash in at any time and that’s exactly what he did last night, when no one expected it. Let’s forget about Lesnar, because he walked out of Wrestlemania as the new World Heavyweight Champion. Orton comes up and says he wants the title, so here are Kane and Big Show to stand behind Rollins. Seth gives Randy until the end of the night to find two partners.

AJ Lee/Paige/Naomi vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

AJ is wearing a Bayley shirt. Natayla headlocks Naomi down to start before firing off some forearms. Naomi comes back with a running dropkick, only to have Natalya take her down for a basement dropkick. Off to Brie for the third dropkick of the match as the fans want Bayley. Brie takes her down with a fireman’s carry into an armbar, followed by taking her down with a fireman’s carry into an armbar. Back up and the tag brings in Paige for some headbutts. Brie calls her a loser and gets speared to the floor as we take a break. IN THIS MATCH???

Back with Brie holding AJ in a chinlock before it’s off to Natalya for some suplexes for two. Nikki puts on a chinlock of her own and keeps AJ from diving over for the tag. A hard forearm puts Paige down and we keep the match going with a modified Indian deathlock. AJ finally gets free and sends Nikki into the buckle for the hot tag to Naomi. Nikki plants her with an Alabama Slam but Paige comes in as everything breaks down. Bella miscommunication sees Nikki hit Brie by mistake, setting up the Rear View to pin Nikki at 13:35.

Rating: C. This was a good example of the problem with the Divas: most of them have a horrible lack of presence. The Bellas are really bad about this. They’re good at doing heel stuff, but the charisma isn’t there and they feel like they’re just playing characters. Yeah they’re playing those characters well enough, but I don’t buy it as anything more than them doing what they’re told to do. Natalya can have that presence, or at least can be good enough in the ring to make up for it. I don’t buy that from the Bellas and I never have. Hopefully this leads to Naomi getting a title run.

We look at Lesnar’s destruction again.

Ryback offers to be Orton’s partner and Randy shakes his hand.

Sheamus/Barrett vs. Bryan/Ziggler on Smackdown. Cena, Orton and Reigns will be there in some capacity as well.

Rusev vs. Goldust

No Lana or tank tonight. The announcers bring up Rusev not answering the open challenge earlier if he’s here. Cole might need neck surgery after the attack earlier. That sounds like a way to write him off TV for a bit. Rusev catches Goldust coming out of the corner and the beating is on early. Some slow stomps set up a knee to the back of the head The jumping superkick and the Accolade end Goldust quick at 2:16.

Ryback/Randy Orton/??? vs. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins

In a very obvious choice, the third man is Roman Reigns. Kane and Ryback get things going with Ryback shrugging off some right hands and hitting the spinebuster. An early Meat Hook attempt sends the Authority to the floor but Reigns dives on all three of them for a huge crash (beating from Brock Lesnar anyone?) as we take a break. Back with Kane getting stomped in the corner before Ryback suplexes him for two. Off to Rollins vs. Orton with the new champ getting uppercutted in the corner. A spinning kick to the face gets two on Randy as the fans chant HOW YOU DOIN.

Big Show comes in and gets a PLEASE RETIRE chant. Back to Kane for a chinlock followed by a big boot for two. The Wave breaks out and the camera actually follows it around. Rollins tells the crowd to suck it but Orton counters what looked to be a tornado DDT into a superplex. Fans: “WE ARE AWESOME!”

The hot tag brings in Reigns and he’s booed out of the building as he cleans house. In a cool spot, Big Show intercepts a Superman Punch (fans LOVE that) and throws Reigns at Kane, only to have the Superman Punch connect out of midair. Ryback picks Big Show up in a dead lift for the Shell Shock but eats a Curb Stomp. Rollins bails from Reigns and the RKO into a spear is enough to pin Kane at 13:00.

Rating: C-. This was the match where the crowd gave up and I can’t say I blame them. Of all the people they can put in the main event of THIS SHOW, they picked the two old giants? That was the best idea they had? This felt like the end of any given Raw and that’s not how you want to end this show. Last year it ended with Shield’s face turn, here it ends with a generic six man tag. That’s kind of stupid but the rest of the show was good enough that I can forgive it.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a good time with this show and they focused a lot more on the wrestling this year than last. The show completely ran out of gas with the main event as it went out with nothing instead of something big, but at least we had some good debuts, Lesnar just massacring people and a hot crowd. Stephanie continues to be the most annoying person on the roster but that’s something you just have to live with. Also, no HHH? Still though, really fun show which has become the standard for the night after Wrestlemania.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler – Running knee

New Day/Lucha Dragons b. Ascension/Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Salida Del Sol to Viktor

Damien Mizdow b. Stardust – Skull Crushing Finale

Neville b. Curtis Axel – Red Arrow

John Cena b. Dean Ambrose – Attitude Adjustment

Paige/AJ Lee/Naomi b. Bella Twins/Natalya – Rear View to Nikki

Rusev b. Goldust – Accolade

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Ryback b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins – Spear to Kane

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the night. Even though the build hasn’t been the best in recent history, this is still Wrestlemania and the biggest show of the year. The main event is the recently re-signed Brock Lesnar defending his WWE World Heavyweight Title against the winner of the Royal Rumble, Roman Reigns. The card looks good on paper but that has to translate to something more. Let’s get to it.

The stage is HUGE and has a big circle in the middle for a Titantron.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kid vs. New Day

One fall to a finish here. Cesaro and Kidd are defending, Jey Uso has a banged up shoulder and it’s Kofi and Big E for New Day. The Usos are in regular short trunks with tassels and are in San Francisco 49ers colors. The fans are behind Cesaro as he starts with Kingston but Fernando tags Cesaro to come in. Cesaro goes after Jey on the floor and sends him into the barricade, likely to write him out of the match due to his shoulder.

Back in and Kofi takes Fernando down for two as Jimmy checks on his brother. Diego slingshots in with a hilo to Kofi and it’s back to Cesaro for a chinlock. Jey is taken out as Kidd comes in for the Swing into the dropkick for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until it’s only Kofi and Kidd with the latter holding a chinlock. Jimmy comes back in and cleans house with superkicks all around and four straight running Umaga attacks in the corner.

Kofi dives off the top onto Fernando, leaving Jimmy to drop Kidd for a close two. Cesaro drops Jimmy with an uppercut but Big E. tags himself in for a splash on both guys. He throws Kofi at Cesaro for two but everyone goes to the corner for a series of superplexes, a splash and Los Matadores with a powerbomb into a backstabber for two on Kofi. Natalya (and her very low cut outfit) offer a distraction, allowing Torito to hurricanrana Woods into the barricade.

Natalya puts Torito in the Sharpshooter but Naomi dives on a bunch of people, followed by a Rear View to Natalya. Back in and the Midnight Hour gets two on Fernando with Jimmy and Cesaro making a save. The referee actually says Big E. isn’t legal (Lawler: “How would he know?”) with Fernando but Kidd tags himself in anyway, only to have Big E. throw him and Fernando onto his shoulders at the same time.

Kofi kicks Kidd and knees Cesaro in the corner but Los Matadores get in there to knock Cesaro to the floor. The announcers are already calling this a car wreck. A six man Tower of Doom puts everyone not named Uso down, leaving Jimmy to splash Big E. but Cesaro runs in to steal the pin and retain at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last year but it was a completely different kind of match. This was a huge mess with everyone all over the place and no flow to the match after the five minute mark. That being said, at least they went with the right choice for the winners and Natalya got to keep looking awesome. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and fun, which is what something like this should be doing.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Big Show, Kane, Erick Rowan, Damien Mizdow, Sin Cara, Goldust, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor, Viktor, Hideo Itami, Cesaro, Jimmy Uso, Diego, Fernando, Bo Dallas, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Xavier Woods, Tyson Kidd, Alex Riley

There are some unannounced people in there, including everyone in the opener, but I’m not sure I have everyone included. Axel does the Hogan pose and everyone eliminates him at once. It’s a huge mess to start so it’s really hard to see what’s going on. Itami kicks away at Cesaro and gets a great reaction from the fans. Rose and Fandango eliminate each other and Show chops Itami. Miz and Mizdow go after Riley and get him out without too much of a problem.

Bo Dallas breaks up the Broski Boot and dumps Ryder, only to eliminate himself in celebration. He goes back in anyway so Itami kicks him out again. Kidd and Itami kick it out but Big Show punches Hideo out. So much for NXT meaning anything. Kane dumps Los Matadores and Cesaro throws Sin Cara onto the two of them. Henry throws Kidd onto the pile but Ascension gets together to throw him out.

Ascension goes after Big Show as and actually knock him down but JBL points out the obvious problem that creates. Ryback eliminates Viktor and Konnor at the same time, followed by doing the same to Young and Slater. Titus gets eliminated by Ryback as well but it’s Big Show clotheslining Ryback down before knocking out Swagger. New Day triple teams Big Show but he eliminates all of them with ease. We’re down to Jimmy Uso, Rowan, Big Show, Cesaro, Kane, Ryback, Goldust, Miz and Mizdow.

Things finally slow down until Big Show eliminates Rowan (were you expecting anything else?) and Ryback dumps Goldust. Kane breaks up a Shell Shock to Big Show and chokeslams Miz and Mizdow. Cesaro hangs on and slides back in to slam Kane out for a big reaction. Show tosses Jimmy and it’s Cesaro vs. Big Show just like last year. This time though Big Show escapes the slam and throws Cesaro out. Instead it’s Ryback spinebustering Show as we’re down to Ryback, Big Show, Miz and Mizdow.

Show counters the Meat Hook and throws out Ryback, leaving Show to smile at the only two left. The fans cheer for Mizdow, who FINALLY tells Miz no. Miz tries to talk him down and yells at him as Big Show just stands around for two minutes while they argue. Miz goes after Big Show and gets eliminated to a big reaction, only to turn around and see Big Show.

JBL keeps harping on Big Show never winning a battle royal in WWE but Mizdow skins the cat to get back inside. He hammers away but gets taken down by a shoulder. Mizdow avoids a charge to send Show to the apron but Show grabs him by the throat. A guillotine choke looks to do the same ending as the 2004 Royal Rumble but Show shoves him off and wins at 18:11.

Rating: D+. Good grief man really? I mean REALLY? Their big idea is to FINALLY turn Mizdow to a hug…..screw sarcasm. I’m sick of Big Show, I’m sick of him getting pushed, I’m sick of WWE thinking he’s interesting because he’s big, and I’m sick of his old body getting these big moments because he was there in the Attitude Era with his stupid country sounding song. Thanks for all the work Mizdow. Maybe you’ll get a better push if you grow a foot and turn 44.

Aloe Blacc (I haven’t heard of him either) sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features LL Cool J talking about how universal the world has become with everyone being connected. However, one thing stays the same: us. People come together and feel a connection between themselves. J talks about some great moments in Wrestlemania and says these generations have come together for this night. Kind of a far cry from the huge party down the streets of New Orleans.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Ladder match with Barrett defending. Pat Patterson is here to put the belt up, which makes sense as he’s the first Intercontinental Champion and had his greatest fame in this area. Ziggler seems to have braided his hair, Stardust has a cape and Ambrose gets the loudest pop. Dean hits the ring and the brawl is on in a hurry. Truth flip dives onto Barrett and Ambrose but Stardust dives onto all three.

Harper throws Ziggler outside too and hits a big suicide dive. Not to be out done, Dean climbs a ladder for a flying elbow drop to the pile. Truth is up first and goes for the belt but Barrett cleans house with a ladder of his own. Bryan comes in with some running dropkicks to crush Stardust into the ladder into Barrett in the corner but Harper throws the ladder at Daniel’s head. Harper gets tied upside down in the ladder and Bryan fires off some YES Kicks. Apparently being a former World Champion makes you immune to falling ladders.

Ziggler and his hair of doom comes back in with a superkick to Daniel before getting into a climbing contest with Dean. Barrett pulls both guys down before Stardust knocks all three of them down and crushes Ambrose’s legs in the ladder. Stardust goes outside and pulls out the, I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Star Bird. In other words, a ladder with glitter on the sides. That’s fine with Barrett who rips a rung off and beats Stardust with it because I guess he likes black ladders.

We get a stepladder thrown in and Harper sends Dean face first into the ladder in the corner. It’s time for the Terry Funk helicopter spot but Truth drop toeholds him down to break it up. Truth brings in the big ladder but can’t find the middle of the ring, allowing Barrett and Stardust to climb up with Bad News superplexing him down. Dean shoves Bryan and Ziggler’s ladder down before hitting the rebound clothesline to Harper.

That’s fine with Luke as he powerbombs Dean over the top and through a bridged ladder at ringside. Dolph puts Harper in the sleeper but Luke climbs anyway, only to fall backwards to crush Ziggler again. Ziggler is up first though and makes a fast attempt, only to get pulled into a Bull Hammer. Stardust and Truth get one as well but it’s Bryan making the save, only to have Ziggler and Barrett pull down. Back up and the running knee puts Bad News down but Ziggler sprints up the ladder for a slugout. The belt starts swaying but it turns into a headbutt exchange. It’s Ziggler going down though and Bryan wins at 13:55.

Rating: B. Total mess for the most part here but Bryan winning is the smart move. The guy is still one of the most popular guys on the roster and hopefully they’re not going to give him the losing streak. Maybe this makes it the wrestler’s title again, which would be the best thing they could do with the belt. Really good opener here with the right ending to top it off. Harper looked great here too and is a star in the making if they ever figure out how to use him.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins with a different twist: both guys have been called the future but now Orton might be surpassed. Then they go with the stupid story of Orton attacking the Authority, then joining the Authority, then attacking them again. It never made sense before and it doesn’t now.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Orton has elbow pads again. Some headlocks get us nowhere so Rollins does a standing backflip, only to eat a dropkick. After a quick chase on the floor, Rollins stomps away in the corner but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. The RKO is broken up by a Stooges distraction, earning them a double elevated DDT onto the floor to get us down to one on one. It takes too much time though and Rollins nails a suicide dive to take Orton out.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins takes Orton down with a running splash in the corner. An early Curb Stomp attempt is countered into a powerslam followed by a t-bone suplex. Another elevated DDT is countered though and Rollins kicks him to the floor for an Asai Moonsault. Back in and Orton’s superplex is countered but he backdrops Rollins to break up superbomb attempt.

Rollins rolls through a high cross body for two but now the elevated DDT connects. The RKO is countered into the low superkick but Rollins tries a standing Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the RKO for a very close near fall. That’s not a move you see kicked out of often (outside of a John Cena match of course). The Stooges come in to break up the Punt and take RKOs, setting up a Curb Stomp for another close two. Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash but tries another Curb Stomp, only to be LAUNCHED into the air for the RKO and the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B. Not quite the show stealer it could have been, but man alive that was one heck of an RKO. I was thinking they were going to do the Phoenix Splash into the RKO but that would have been a bit too far. The ending was sweet though and it’s the second really good match in a row to start things off. Orton winning is surprising, but we might not be done with Rollins tonight.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting with the on the Authority being corrupt before changing to HHH just wanting to end Sting’s legacy.

Sting vs. HHH

Sting is played out by a Japanese drum group. HHH one ups him with scenes from the new Terminator movie, a shot from the Terminator’s view, and an army of Terminators on stage. HHH is in Terminator attire and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appears on the screen to say it’s time to play the game. Sting shouldn’t be scared. After all, he knows Robocop. In an added stipulation, you can only win by pinfall or submission. Sting is in his singlet instead of a t-shirt.

After a 45 second staredown, it’s time for the first lockup with Sting shouldering him down. HHH does the same and throws out a crotch chop. Sting is right back up with a dropkick and HHH is stunned. The facebuster is no sold but HHH bails from a Scorpion attempt. Sting follows him out and gets sent hard into the steps to give HHH his first advantage. Back in and HHH starts on the ribs before putting on a chinlock. That goes as far as you would expect before HHH gets two off a spinebuster. We hit the chinlock again but Sting counters into the Deathlock.

Cue the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac (remember no DQ). Sting fights them off with ease and throws HHH to the floor before dives off the top to take DX down! Back in and the Pedigree connects for two with the fans not really buying that as a major threat just yet. It’s sledgehammer time but cue Hall, Nash and Hogan to make it about the Monday Night Wars again. You know, because Sting was SO into the Black and White.

The Death Drop gets two on HHH and we hit a long Deathlock as everyone fights at ringside (with Nash going down and holding his leg, which would be one heck of a rib). Shawn Michaels runs in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up but Sting gets up at two. Gunn hands HHH the sledgehammer but Hall gives Sting the bat. A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another BREAKS THE HAMMER! The Stinger Splash staggers HHH but he comes back with the head of the hammer to knock Sting cold for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. GOOD GRIEF. I was having a great time with the nostalgia until they completely missed the point with the ending. What in the world is the point in bringing Sting in to have him lose? For the sake of doing one more shot at WCW for the Monday Night Wars? That thing that was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO and Vince still isn’t over? The worst part for me was the match was actually rocking before the ending. This was a really fun match until the bad ending, which is way more than I was expecting.

HHH shakes his hand post match. Uh, no. YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND!

New series coming to WWE Network: Camp WWE (Rated mature), Jerry Springer’s Too Hot For WWE, a Jackass style show and the new Divas Search.

Daniel Bryan is with Maria Menunos (in a Bushwhackers shirt) when Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper (with a kiss to the head), Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair come up to congratulate him. A Woo-off ensues until Bret Hart comes in to shake Bryan’s hand and starts a YES chant. Cue Ron Simmons and you know the rest.

Skyler Gray performs the theme song. I’ll use this break to say this show has rocked so far and is WAY better than I was expecting coming in.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

No recap video but it’s about the Bellas being celebrities and AJ/Paige being themselves. Paige (with blue highlights) takes Nikki down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for an early two. Off to Brie for a front facelock before knocking AJ off the apron. The BRIE MODE running knee to the face gets two for Brie before Nikki comes in with a spinebuster. Paige fights back but there’s still no AJ to tag. Instead she just dives off the apron with a flip to take out both Bellas and now the hot tag brings in AJ.

A quick tornado guillotine onto the top rope sets up a high cross body but Nikki rolls through for two of her own. Nikki lifts her up for an electric chair but AJ spins out into a DDT which was slightly botched but looked good enough. Brie breaks up the Black Widow but Nikki’s big forearm only gets two. Paige sends Brie into the steps and the Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 6:40.

Rating: C+. Well that happened. It was a step above most Divas matches but this really didn’t do anything special. Like I said coming into this match, if there’s nothing on the line, this doesn’t mean much. I’m pretty sure AJ has made Nikki tap before, so this really doesn’t mean anything. Decent match but it certainly didn’t knock anything out of the park. The time didn’t do it any favors though.

Hall of Fame video.

The Class of 2015 is presented. Butch is on crutches but still does the arm wacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev. Cena passed out in the Accolade last month but he choked Rusev out to get a rematch. This is firmly about the USA vs. Russia and Cena wanting to bring the title back home.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Lana is back and carrying the title, flanked by Russian soldiers carrying the Russian flag. Rusev RIDES OUT IN A TANK to the Russian national anthem. Cena counters with an American theme with various Presidents talking about American exceptionalism but just walks out with the fans singing “John Cena sucks” in time to his music ala the Raw after Wrestlemania last year. Rusev insists that his big match intro is first and Cena stares a hole through him.

Rusev scores with an early spinwheel kick for two and throws Cena around with a suplex. He stops to get the Russian flag though and Cena gets fired up, meaning it’s time to start his finishing sequence. The AA doesn’t work though and Rusev gets two off a spinning belly to back suplex. Rusev gets the same off a spinning Rock Bottom but his superplex is countered for a top rope Fameasser. The fans start chanting for Lana but get shut down as Cena gets two off a tornado DDT.

Rusev comes back with a knee to the head and an Alabama Slam (Russian for “TELL HER THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!”) for two. Cena takes him down with the STF but Lana throws her shoes in for some reason (that was a real, ahem, heel move) as Rusev makes the ropes. He slams Cena down again and goes up for a pretty good looking top rope headbutt and two more.

The Accolade doesn’t work so Cena gets up, jumps at the ropes like a Lionsault but catches Rusev in a Stunner of all things for two. Rusev shrugs it off and puts on the Accolade but Cena gets to his feet and rams Rusev into the corner. The STF goes on but Lana offers a distraction, only to have Rusev accidentally knock her down, setting up the AA for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: B-. Good match but a bit below their previous match and not exactly the emotion they were going for. They hit all the big points but Cena winning was kind of just there instead of having a big impact. I’m thinking more about that Stunner than anything else, but it’s nice to see Cena with a midcard title and taking a backseat to the World Title. Not that he doesn’t belong in the title scene, but this is refreshing.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana and leaves.

It’s 9:30 and we have two matches left. Those are going to have to go a long time to make this fit. It’s possible that that’s a stretch.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas on April 3, 2016.

The pre-show panel talks for a bit and recaps the two matches before the show started.

Here are Stephanie and HHH to announce the new attendance record: 76,976. Stephanie talks about being at Wrestlemania I to watch her friend Andre the Giant (my goodness let it go Steph) slam Big John Studd. She takes credit for the evolution of WWE because this company has grown under her leadership. HHH says he beat Sting tonight but he also beat everyone who bet against them. It’s like he beat everyone here tonight and millions more around the world. He owned Sting and every superstar and Diva back there. They own the people too and you know what that means.

Cue the Rock for a huge ovation. Stephanie: “Ok you’re happy to see him. Can you be quiet now?” Rock says the Authority doesn’t own the people or the Rock because he’s an East Bay boy (meaning from this area of California). HHH’s options are to go dress up like Terminator again or we can have a Wrestlemania moment right here, right now. HHH remembers beating Rock in most of their matches so he has nothing to prove. Rock left his heart in San Francisco but HHH left his balls in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in his face and says Rock is trying to get the fans to cheer for him because he knows without the McMahons, there is no Rock. She brings up Rock’s father and grandfather but the fans chant for Shane. Rock says Stephanie can run her mouth about the McMahons and the Johnsons, but she wouldn’t be in power without McMahon’s Johnson. Stephanie slaps him in the face and asks if he’s going to hit her.

Rock actually leaves as Stephanie still won’t shut up, so Rock goes over to……Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock says he would never hit a woman, but Rousey would be happy to. Stephanie says they’re friends but Ronda just stares at her. See, this is Stephanie’s ring so she’s not scared of Ronda. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so make her leave.

Stephanie still won’t shut up so Rock warns her about the look on Rousey’s face. “That look means she’s about to reach down your throat and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH remembers that he’s here and says that’s the last thing Rock is saying about Stephanie.

The fight is on and Rock hammers away before Rousey takes HHH down as well. Stephanie pulls back for the slap but Rousey catches the arm….and lets her go as Stephanie screams in pain. Rock says that’s the Wrestlemania moment of the night. WAY longer than it needed to be and Rousey didn’t get nearly enough heat off Stephanie but she looked at home in the ring.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

No recap but Bray keeps the awesome entrances going with zombie scarecrows that come to life as he passes them. Bray sprained his ankle earlier in the night so he might not be moving like usual. The sun is still partially out so the entrances are nowhere near as ominous as usual. Undertaker has some hair again and looks similar to how he did back in 2002. Bray says all of this is his now and charges into a boot to the face before the bell.

The driving shoulders put Bray down again and Old School connects, only to have Bray nail him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Undertaker over the top but he pulls Bray outside. The apron legdrop has Bray in even more trouble as it’s almost all Undertaker early. Back in and Snake Eyes looks to set up the running boot but Bray takes him down with the running cross body. The running splash in the corner gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Undertaker is dragged over to the corner as Bray goes outside for a big running charge into the steps, possibly sending Undertaker’s head into the post. Back in and Bray goes to pick him up but gets caught in Hell’s Gate. Undertaker can’t quite get it locked in though and some right hands get Bray out. A release Rock Bottom and the backsplash get two and Undertaker is rocked.

Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam and the Tombstone gets two. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail for two. Bray Spiders up but Undertaker sits up and just stares at him, making Bray fall back to the mat in an unintentionally funny moment. The look basically said “Boy, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing?” Bray wins a slugout but takes too long mocking Undertaker, allowing Sister Abigail to be countered into another Tombstone for the pin at 15:06.

Rating: B. That sitout to break the spider walk was great but the match worked really well too. This really makes me think that last year was mostly due to the concussion, as this was much closer to the (still overrated) Punk match two years ago. Bray isn’t going to die because of this, but he needs a major win or a big feud soon. Undertaker winning was pretty much the only option, especially since he can still go this well. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was more than acceptable.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. To keep it short, Brock is a monster that can’t be beaten but Reigns says he can do it. There isn’t much more to it than that.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is defending of course and Reigns doesn’t get the best reaction in the world. Reigns goes right for him but gets driven into the corner and thrown down with a German. The F5 from a bloody Lesnar connects in 31 seconds but he doesn’t cover. Brock throws him down again and Reigns looks stunned. He elbows out of another German and the fans are all over him. Brock no sells some clotheslines and throws Reigns with another German.

Reigns smiles up at him and shoves Brock’s face. Brock: “SUPLEX CITY!” Another comeback is countered with the fifth German of the match but Roman keeps smiling at him. Number six has Reigns in even more trouble and Brock drapes him across the top rope. The fans say this is awesome and Brock drives Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As they come back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the face and fires some kicks to the chest to nothing but boos.

Brock catches a kick though and just BLASTS Reigns with a clothesline to send him back outside. Back in and another suplex sends Reigns flying as Brock seems to like the blood on his face. Now Reigns looks to have some blood in his mouth too. Brock belly to bellies him over the ropes and back inside, followed by the second F5 for two. There go Brock’s gloves and he slaps Reigns in the face a few times. Reigns starts laughing again so Brock throws him down with two more Germans. A third F5 only gets two and Brock is a combination of livid and shocked.

They head outside again and Brock goes hard into the post to really bust him open. He beats the count back in at nine and Reigns is smiling again. Now the Superman Punch connects but he doesn’t go down. A second puts him down in the corner on one knee but the third misses, only to have Reigns counter the German. Reigns headbutts him (hooray for racial stereotypes!) and nails the third Superman Punch followed by the spear but Lesnar stumbles to the corner. A second spear gets two and Reigns is stunned. I totally bought that as the finish.

Brock catches a third spear in the fourth F5 AND HERE COMES ROLLINS! He cashes in right now and I think we have a triple threat! Rollins kicks Reigns to the floor and connects with the Curb Stomp but loads up a second, allowing Lesnar to counter into the F5. Reigns spears Lesnar down but Rollins Curb Stomps Reigns to win the title at 16:43!

Rating: B+. YES! I’ve wanted Rollins to win the title for the better part of a year now and this is the PERFECT way to pay it off. They keep Lesnar looking like a killer, Reigns looks strong and above all else, ROLLINS IS THE WORLD CHAMPION! They were running into a problem with Lesnar as champion: you can only see him squash people for so long before it stops being entertaining. Let him go back to the big featured match and keep him away from the title (or turn him face) and let Rollins be the top star as he should be. I’m thrilled with this and couldn’t be happier. Great choice for an ending to a great show.

Overall Rating: A. We’ll file this under WHERE THE HECK DID THIS COME FROM??? I had a blast with this show and couldn’t be happier if I tried. Above all else, there were no bad matches on the whole card. Not a single one. The worst thing all night was a too long Rock vs. HHH segment to set up a huge match next year and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m still on a high from that ending and might be overrating the show, but this was a great night all around.

I need to give credit to the entrances too. These were on fire all night and the best thing about them was how much more of a spectacle they made the show. Yeah it’s cool to see them walk down a ramp, but having a tank, robots or a Japanese band (what was up with that?) makes it feel like you’re seeing something special.

I can’t believe how much I liked this show after dreading what I felt was coming. The best part about it though is the renewed faith in the company. Yeah, the build sucked, but they NAILED the show (save for one or two questionable booking moves) and the whole thing was just a blast all around. I had a great time with this and didn’t get bored once, save for a lame concert but we’ll ignore that for now. Really good show and a high quality all night, with the worst match being a totally watchable Divas tag. Loved it and I can’t believe how good of a time I had watching, especially the ending.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Stardust, R-Truth, Dean Ambrose and Bad News Barrett – Bryan pulled down the title

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins – RKO

HHH b. Sting – Sledgehammer to the face

AJ Lee/Paige b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Nikki

John Cena b. Rusev – Attitude Adjustment

Undertaker b. Bray Wyatt – Tombstone

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar – Curb Stomp to Reigns

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