Undertaker vs. Steve Moore

Undertaker slowly hammers away to start and I think you can see what’s coming from here. There’s Old School and the Tombstone ends this quick.

Snow would head to SMW and stick around for several years. Here’s his TV Debut in February 1994.

Al Snow vs. George South

Snow is a very cocky heel here and calls himself Simply Sensational. Feeling out process to start until Snow hammers away, only to miss a charge into the corner. Snow comes right back and nails a nice slingshot legdrop followed by a springboard splash for the pin. That was a nice finisher.

Snow would form the Dynamic Duo with Unabom (Kane) after the match. Here they are on August 5, 1995.

Dynamic Duo vs. Matt Hardy/Jason Arnhdt

Snow and Jason get things going with Al hammering away before hitting a nice shwwlbarrow suplex. Off to Unabom (yes it’s spelled that way here) for a powerslam, setting up a superkick from Snow. Al misses a cross body and makes the tag to Matt (yes that) Hardy) who is launched into the corner. A clothesline/German suplex combo is enough to easily pin Hardy. Total squash.

Snow would head to the WWF as Avatar, something resembling a genie. Here’s a match from January 1996.

1-2-3 Kid/Sid vs. Avatar/Aldo Montoya

Sid and the Kid are part of the Million Dollar Corporation. It’s a brawl to start with a double flip clothesline putting the Kid down. Avatar wheelbarrow suplexes Kid for two before it’s off to the arm. Aldo comes in with a chop but Kid kicks Avatar’s head off to take over. The Kid finally gets over to the corner for the tag to Sid as house is cleaned. A chokeslam plants Aldo and the powerbomb is enough for Kid to get an easy pin.

Rating: D+. There was actually some psychology here if you can believe that. The idea of keeping Sid out is an idea that the Horsemen used whenever they were facing the Giant in the Dungeon of Doom feud and it makes a bunch of sense here. I can’t believe this was as good as it was, even though it wasn’t much to see.

Another of Snow’s gimmicks was Leif Cassidy, including this match at Summerslam 1996.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.

A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.

Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.

We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.

Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Another match from In Your House XIII.

Marc Mero vs. Leif Cassidy

Cassidy doesn’t even get an entrance. Instead he slaps Mero in the face and gets taken down by an armdrag for his efforts. We hit the armbar for a bit with Mero in control but Cassidy fights up and shoves the referee before bailing to the floor. Leif wraps Mero’s leg around the rope but Sable goes after him, allowing Mero to come back with right hands. Back in and a slingshot legdrop keeps Cassidy in trouble with Mero shouting to stay away from Sable.

Cassidy comes back with a pair of dropkicks to the knee and Mero is in trouble. More kicks to the knee have Marc on the mat and Leif slaps on a leg lace. Mero’s knee is slammed down into the mat as the fans are starting to wake up a bit here. Back to the leg lock as Mero’s offense is stopped cold again. Mero finally reaches over and grabs a rope so Leif keeps stomping away.

The leg locks continue until Mero fights up and scores with an enziguri, setting up a rollup for two. Cassidy will have none of this being on defense and puts on a lame figure four leg lock but Sable helps Marc get to the ropes. Leif goes after Sable so Mero dives through the ropes to take him out. Back in and Marc rams him face first into the mat a few times before a Samoan drop sets up the Wild Thing for the pin.

Rating: D+. I didn’t hate the match and the psychology was working, but the execution was rather boring for the most part. This was more about pushing Sable as having more backbone and Mero being more protective of her, but I see no reason for this to have been on PPV. This could have been accomplished in half the time on TV which brings this down. Not a horrible match though.

It was off to ECW soon after this, including this match at Born To Be Wired.

TV Title: Taz vs. Al Snow

Snow is challenging and is on the verge of the push of a lifetime which would result in Heyman completely screwing up and not putting the world title on him because Shane Douglas must be champion forever in ECW. Snow rips into the fans for saying that he’s not Leif Cassidy (role he played in WWE) but Al Snow. The fans want Taz to murder Snow which is the norm for them most of the time.

After a long stall Taz takes it to the mat to take over. The fans want Snow’s neck broken. The champ cranks on the arm and does it again after Snow escapes. Snow tries to fight up and gets caught in an ankle hold. This is all mat stuff so far and it’s pretty good as well. After Snow bails to the floor he comes back in and is immediately caught in an Alabama Slam but he hits a kind of enziguri to the face of the champ to take over.

A suplex puts Taz down and the fans are still all over Snow. Taz is like screw this wrestling stuff and takes Snow down to pound away, but Snow rakes the eyes. Now Taz is like screw this brawling stuff and suplexes Snow down. Snow slams him down and fires off some kicks but gets pounded in the face for his efforts. Taz comes back with a German suplex but walks into a suplex from Snow. That gets no sold and it’s the Tazmission to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This never quite clicked as they were didn’t seem quite sure what they were going for as Taz kept switching from wrestling to brawling. Maybe that’s what they were going for but it didn’t quite work. Snow as a guy completely hated by the fans because he used to be in the WWF worked fine and it worked even better when he turned into the psycho head shaking guy. Not terrible here but it was your usual Taz match from this time period. The mat stuff was good though.

Snow would get that mega push soon after and main event Wrestlepalooza 1998.

ECW World Title: Al Snow vs. Shane Douglas

Shane is defending and is badly injured coming in. He takes the huge brace off his arm, leaving it only with a bunch of bandages over it. They trade chops to start until Snow goes for the bad arm. Shane quickly bails to the ropes so Al punches him in the face. Al goes up top but Francine pulls him back down. They head outside for more brawling with Snow sending him into the barricade.

Back in and some shoulders get two for Snow but Shane dropkicks him down and puts on a chinlock. Shane lets go and sets up four chairs in the middle of the ring. Snow gets powerbombed through two of them for a near fall as the fans try to rally behind him. He comes back with a DDT but has to deal with Candido.

Shane grabs the belly to belly for two and Al has new life. He has to go and take out the Triple Threat again before getting two off a high cross body on Shane. The locker room comes out as the Snow Plow connects for two. Francine comes in and takes a Snow Plow as the Freaks take out Candido and Bigelow. Snow goes up for a top rope sunset flip…..and Shane sits down on it to retain the title.

Rating: D. The match was watchable but the booking was horrible. This match was basically a love letter to Shane Douglas from Paul Heyman as all night long we heard about how Shane was coming in at less than 100% and how he’d be going away for surgery after the match. What makes it worse is that’s absolutely true. From what I can find, Shane would wrestle one tag match between this show and September, meaning the title just wasn’t defended in that span of time.

As for Snow not getting the title, there’s more of a case for that making sense. Snow was officially under contract to the WWF at this point and was being called back to work there, so putting the title on him didn’t make sense if he was about to leave. However, Snow would wrestle another month or so for ECW and put a bunch of people over. This begs the question of why not put him on top for a quick run and then give the belt to someone else.

The argument against this idea would be that it makes the reign seem worthless. While this is true, history is shown that this really doesn’t mean much. Look at Mick Foley’s first WWF Title reign in 1999. Yes Foley dropped the title in less than a month, but the moment was absolutely perfect and is still very fondly remembered over fifteen years later. Snow winning the title would have been the same idea: it had been built up so strongly that the loss completely deflated the fans.

That’s the final problem with this decision. The fans are basically told to never get behind someone because the company is going to crush them at their biggest moment. As a fan, why should I care about someone for a long time after Snow? This broke their spirits and took away all the energy they had going into the match. That’s something you never want to do, especially when the reward was about eight months off.

Snow would be back in the WWF soon and have a match on Raw for his job, September 21, 1998.

Al Snow vs. Sgt. Slaughter

This is a boot camp match, which basically means a street fight. Before the match Snow does the questions about Head. If Snow wins he’s reinstated but if he loses he’s gone. Sarge jumps him and rips off Snow’s shirt as Cornette says that Snow is as crazy as a rainbow trout in a carwash. Snow comes back with a superkick and a slingshot into the post. Snow has Slaughter’s belt and whips the Sarge’s back and they go to the floor.

He gets a chair but his swing hits the post. A chair to the back of Snow gets two on the floor. Snow shrugs that off and hits something like Poetry in Motion up against the railing. A moonsault off the barricade only gets two. Cornette is just great on commentary, snapping off all kinds of analysis and insane things but staying entertaining the entire time. Snow goes up top with the chair but as he moonsaults with it, Sarge moves and Al hits canvas. Cobra Clutch goes on but Snow escapes. He breaks it up again with a low blow and Sarge takes off his boot. That goes nowhere and a shot with Head gets the pin for Al.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a way to finally give Al a reason to be around every week, even though he has been for like four months. Sarge is only so interesting and it was pretty clear that he wasn’t going to win here. I like Snow but this did nothing for me for the most part and that’s not a good thing.

Snow would quickly find his niche in the Hardcore Title hunt. Here he is in a title match at In Your House XXVII.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Bob Holly

The title is vacant coming in due to the champion Road Dogg being injured. The brawl is on to start with Snow scoring with a quick chair shot. They head into the crowd with Snow in control until he gets slammed down onto some steps. Holly blasts him in the face with a fire extinguisher and breaks a glass jaw over Snow’s head, only to be sprayed down by the fire extinguisher as well.

They head backstage with both guys being thrown into doors until Snow pelts a trashcan at Holly. Bob comes back with a beer case and they fight outside where it’s 40 degrees at most. Holly is rammed head first into the side of a truck and they head over to the fire lane with Holly breaking a no parking sign over Al’s back. Snow seems to be laughing as Holly gets two. They head over to a wall and then a fence with Snow shouting at Holly for turning on him by leaving the J.O.B. Squad.

A stop sign to Snow’s back knocks him onto the banks of the Mississippi River but Al knocks him into a wheelbarrow. They fight over to some trees and closer to the water with Holly hitting him in the head with something made of metal. Snow comes back with some kicks and choking on the dirt before Holly is thrown into the water to fire up the fans in the arena. Holly comes back by sending Snow into a tree before Snow comes back with shots to the kidneys. They slug it out even more with Holly wrapping him up in some chain link fence for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is one where you individual taste may vary widely either way. The match was definitely more of a spectacle than a contest which is fine, but if that’s not your thing then you were going to hate this. These two would have more and more of these insane fights which were very hit or miss. It wasn’t bad but it was only for certain tastes.

And another match at In Your House XXVIII.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly is defending. They’re on the floor almost immediately with Snow being sent into the steps. That’s close enough to actual wrestling so they head into the crowd for the real meat of the match. Back to ringside with Snow getting two off a moonsault from the apron. Snow finds a hockey stick under the ring and breaks it apart to blast Holly in the back. Snow got busted open somewhere in there.

Holly gets beaten on with the stick for a few moments until Snow brings in a table. He takes too long setting it up though and Holly gets in a shot with the hockey stick. They head to the aisle where Holly gets two off a suplex. The fight goes into the back with Snow being rammed into various metal objects. Holly finds a well placed kitchen sink which is destroyed against a wall instead of Snow’s head.

They go out to the parking lot with Holly setting off a car alarm when he’s rammed into a hood. Snow finds a broom to break over Holly’s back and walks him over to some steps back into the arena. Holly throws him over the ledge into a dumpster and follows in with a splash for two. They head back to more cars before fighting into the production truck with Snow throwing him out the door and onto the top of a car for two.

Snow accidentally kicks the window so Holly can punch him back into the arena. Holly whips him into a metal sheet and they head back into the arena where Snow hits him with a frying pan for tow. Hardcore avoids going through the table with a frying pan shot of his own before superplexing Snow through the table. The referee counts to nine until Holly drapes an arm over Snow for two. Snow crawls over to the corner and grabs Head so he can knock Holly unconscious for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Lawler sums up the match as soon as it’s over: “After all that, the Head did it?” That’s the problem with something like this. After all the carnage and weapon shots, including frying pans and that great table spot, it was a mannequin head that got the pin? That’s a bit of a stretch to put it mildly. Also way too long here as this was nearly sixteen minutes.

Snow would be in a Tag Team Title match at Survivor Series 1999.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

The Outlaws are defending. Ross accuses Billy of being the driver but Lawler doesn’t care at all. Mankind says Austin will get through this. Gunn and Mankind get things going with Billy getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a sleeper like a minute in and then we look at the Head. JR and Jerry are arguing again as the guys in the ring go to the floor, making them guys no longer in the ring.

Roadie accidentally hits Billy in the face and it’s off to Snow vs. Road Dogg. JR talks about Snow having his action figure pulled off the shelves at Wal-Mart because some stupid professor said that having a severed head included in a toy would send the wrong message to her kids about violence to women. This is going to be a quick sidebar.

First and foremost, it’s not a severed head. It’s a mannequin head and simply LOOKING AT THE THING would tell you that. Second, if you’re concerned about what kind of impression a toy would give to your kids, either A, don’t buy it for them, or B, tell them why you don’t like it. Heaven forbid you have to tell your kid he can’t have something he wants because you deem it inappropriate. Third, and this is the part that I like best, Snow mentioned in a promo that clearly the stores care about their customers because they pulled the figure from the shelves, but the guns, bullets and knives are still on the shelves.

Anyway, now that the people who can’t think before they run their mouths and have to decide how people should live their lives because apparently people aren’t smart enough to make decisions for themselves are out of the way, let’s get back to this dull match. Mankind pounds on Roadie in the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Snow pokes Road Dogg with a chair in the ribs which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Neither is the shot to Road Dogg’s back from Mankind.

Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock back in the ring followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

Snow gets beaten on for awhile before clotheslining Roadie down and it’s not hot tag to Mankind. Mankind pounds away for a bit but gets caught by the Fameasser for two. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg and here’s Socko. Both Outlaws get Clawed but they both hit Mankind low to escape. Snow hits Billy with Head to give Mankind a two count, followed quickly by the Outlaws hitting a spike piledriver on Mankind to retain.

Rating: D. This got better at the end but the twelve minutes before that were way too dull to be considered good at all. Mankind and Snow were there to fill in spots and while that’s ok, it doesn’t make for an interesting match. It didn’t help that the crowd was deader than Billy Gunn’s career for most of the match. Nothing to see here.

Here’s another tag match from Wrestlemania 2000.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Snow would become a bit more serious near the end of the year and win the European Title. Here’s a defense from Smackdown, October 5, 2000.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Al Snow

X-Pac is challenging and Head is dressed as a vampire for Halloween. William Regal is on commentary and complaining about Snow making a mockery of the European Title. Snow nails a spinwheel kick and hammers away in the corner, only to get kicked in the face right back. Snow comes back with right hands and a moonsault gets two. Head gets involved but Snow is sent to the floor. Regal tries to interfere but Billy Gunn sneaks in and lays out X-Pac, giving Snow the pin.

Snow would take a good deal of time off to film Tough Enough. We’ll pick things up on Raw, October 21, 2002.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Snow would start wrestling less around this time and do some commentary on Heat. This led to a battle of the announcers (because those work SO well) and this match at Unforgiven 2003.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

Snow would basically retire from the WWE ring soon after this but return as an old gimmick on Raw, April 12, 2004.

Tajiri vs. Shinobi

Shinobi is Snow’s old ninja gimmick and is here as part of Coach’s feud with Tajiri. If Tajiri wants to fight Coach at Backlash, he has to win here. The ninja is just called a ninja here but it’s the same gear and character so we’ll go with Shinobi. They trade wristlocks to start before Tajiri fires off some kicks and the handspring elbow. He goes for the mask but gets kicked in the back of the head. Shinobi slaps the referee in the face and Coach breaks up the Tarantula. The Snow Plow is countered and the Buzzsaw Kick is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of stuff that wasn’t wrong here. The match was dull and given that Coach has no friends, the identity wasn’t that hard if you knew what to look for. Bad match, even though I like Tajiri.

Shinobi is unmasked as Al Snow post match.

Snow wouldn’t wrestle much after this other than a few appearance on ECW on Sci-Fi not important enough to include. He would become an agent in TNA but would occasionally wrestle, including at Hardcore Justice 2010.

Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Runt is Spike Dudley of course and is nearly bald. This is elimination rules and better not break 8 minutes. Spike hits a dive that is ok after some basic stuff. He plays the role of the pinball of course and I still wonder what Snow has to do with this. Snow hits the trapping headbutts on Rhyno. TNA guys are watching in the back. Why they’re here is beyond me because they’re not wrestling.

Acid Drop to Rhyno is blocked and this needs to end fast. We’re on the floor again and you actually can’t see due to the lighting. The referee goes down and Head drills Rhyno. Spike does the Eddie chair thing by slamming the mat with it and throwing it to Rhyno. He and Snow do the same thing so they’re all down. Oh my head hurts. Acid Drop ends Snow and then the Gore ends the whole thing.

Rating: D. I like Snow but this was just bad. There’s a reason these guys retired: THEY AREN’T THAT GOOD ANYMORE. Rhyno is ok at best and he’s the biggest star by far in this. At least he won I suppose, but this was just random as all goodness with no point at all. Well at least it’s over and wasn’t that long.

We’ll wrap it up with Bound For Glory 2012, where Snow is facing Joey Ryan. Ryan had been on Gut Check but didn’t get Snow’s vote. He tormented Snow for months so here’s his chance at a job.

Al Snow vs. Joey Ryan

Ryan hides in the corner to start and the fans want Head. Snow is in workout clothes instead of wrestling gear. Snow gets down on all fours and lets Ryan get in a free chance to start. That goes about as well as you would expect for Ryan and he hides in the corner again. This is a good choice for putting on after the big street fight that just happened. It’s a way for the fans to calm down a bit.

Ryan keeps trying basic offense and Snow stops him at every turn. A delayed slam puts Joey down and Snow takes him to the mat with a headlock. Ryan gets in a shot to the ribs and a suplex for two. Snow comes back with the trapping headbutts and grabs Joey’s chest hair. Snow takes him down again for two and the fans want Head. And that’s what they get from under the ring. Ryan shoves the referee down and steals the Head for a makeout scene. Snow ties Joey up in the ring skirt….and here’s Matt Morgan to Carbon Footprint Snow into next week. Ryan gets the easy pin at 8:28.

Rating: D+. This was about what you would expect from Al Snow in 2012. The Morgan twist was fine and a pairing between him and Ryan could be interesting, as if nothing else Ryan could use a bodyguard. This was the ending they had to go with and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially with faces being undefeated in the first hour.

Al Snow is a good example of a solid hand who never got above the midcard. He was a solid trainer though and can have a watchable match with anyone. That’s a very valuable hand to have and his hardcore stuff set him apart from a lot of the guys in wrestling that were talented but never did anything. Given how long it was before he got over on a major stage, he had quite the career.

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Today is one of the most talented wrestlers you’ll ever see: Barry Windham. This is going to be a shorter list as one of the matches is over forty minutes long. It’s well worth it though.

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

The Express is Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo and they’re defending tonight. A little trivia for you: the song Real American was originally used for the two of them but Hogan wound up using it instead. The heels do their whole Russian national anthem and Iran/Russia #1 deal before the match. Rotundo and Sheik start things off with the Iranian hooking a headlock. A dropkick puts Sheik down and Mike grabs a headlock.

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

A sunset flip gets a quick two for Mike but it’s back to Sheik for an abdominal stretch. That doesn’t last long though as Mike hiptosses out of it and it’s off to Barry via the hot tag. The bulldog (Barry’s finisher at the time) takes Volkoff out as everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik hits Windham in the back with the cane for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was a better match than we’ve seen so far with the fans getting way into the whole USA vs. foreigners thing. The title change was there only so something historic could happen and the Express got the belts back about two and a half months later. They would split soon after that with both guys heading to the NWA.

Here’s the big match. From Battle of the Belts II, on February 14, 1986.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Barry Windham

Flair is defending of course and actually comes out to a Phil Collins song. They shake hands to start and Windham gets the early advantage with a dropkick and slam to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they fight over a top wristlock before going into a nice technical sequence to take them down to the mat. Flair goes for the leg but Barry grabs a hammerlock to escape.

Ric fights out of the hold but gets put right back into the hammerlock to keep him in trouble. Off to an armbar from Barry before he takes Flair into the corner for some good old right hands to the face. Flair goes for a right hand of his own and Barry is offended for some reason. A rollup gets two on Ric and Barry grabs a headscissors to keep control. Flair slips out and cranks on the leg but opts for a cover instead, only to have Windham bridge up for a long time to block.

Chops don’t have much effect so Windham comes back with more right hands to take over. Barry hooks a Boston crab but Flair makes it to a rope. A vertical suplex gets two and we hit the abdominal stretch on Flair. What looked to be a low blow gets Flair out of trouble and he throws Barry to the floor with Windham landing on the steps. Back in and a bleeding Windham is in trouble but he avoids the knee drop and Flair bangs his knee. As is the case in almost every Flair match, he gets put in his own Figure Four. Ric finally makes the ropes and Barry has to start over again.

Windham cranks on the leg and drives some knees into the champion’s bad wheel. Flair comes back with a knee in the corner and Ric takes a breather in the corner. Ric hooks a figure four headscissors but Windham reverses into another leg lock. That goes nowhere so it’s back to the corner for some more chops. A piledriver puts Barry down for two but he counters a snapmare into a backslide for two. Back up and a big lariat gets two for the challenger but both guys are getting tired.

There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and Ric heads out to the floor. Referee Bill Alfonso (yes that Bill Alfonso) orders them back inside and Ric, now bleeding as well, gets in another shot to take over. Now it’s Windham being thrown outside before having his sunset flip blocked by a right hand. There’s a sleeper to Windham but Flair opts for a suplex to put Barry down again.

Now it’s time for Ric to go after the leg with his old standards. The Figure Four goes on but Barry turns it over for the break. Ric takes forever to get up top and earns that slam down. Windham gets another burst of adrenaline but misses a knee drop of his own to put him right back in trouble. Flair busts out a double stomp of all things but the referee gets bumped.

Barry is sent over the ropes and lands back first on the apron. He comes back in with a missile dropkick and now the fans are waking up. The groggy referee only counts two so Windham puts Flair in a sleeper. Ric basically collapses to break the hold but Barry’s splash hits knees.

The Figure Four is countered into a small package but Ric lands in the ropes. Another big clothesline gets two for Barry and there’s another Flair Flip. Ric gets to the top but dives into a right hand to the ribs. Barry misses the clothesline and Flair cross bodies both of them out to the floor. Both guys fight to keep the other from getting in and it’s a double countout.

Rating: A-. This was one of their weaker matches but it shows you what they’re capable of doing when they have the time and stage to have a great match. Barry was so smooth in the ring for someone of his size (6’6, 260lbs) and it was amazing to see him move around the ring as fast as he did. Very good match.

We’ll jump ahead to Barry teaming up with Lex Luger to go after the World Tag Team Titles at the first Clash of the Champions.

World Tag Team Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Lex Luger/Barry Windham

Anderson and Blanchard are defending and Windham and Luger are incredibly popular due to the Horsemen (the champions) kicking him out of the team for reasons explained earlier. Luger starts with Tully and pushes him down with ease. The champions try some double teaming but both get clotheslined followed by a powerslam to Blanchard. Lex puts Tully in his Torture Rack finisher but Anderson kicks Luger in the knee for the save. Arn comes in and goes after the knee before it’s back to Tully for more of the same.

Lex sends the Horsemen into each other and Tully can’t stop the hot tag to Windham. Barry cleans house and hits the lariat followed by a powerslam for two on Blanchard. Ross is losing his mind on commentary as only he can. A sleeper nearly puts Blanchard out but Barry lets him fall to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tully goes up but gets slammed down and put in an abdominal stretch. Arn makes the save and Horsemen manager JJ Dillon distracts the referee, allowing Anderson to DDT Windham for a very close two.

Anderson tries to hold Windham’s shoulder down for two but jumps in the air, allowing Barry to raise his knees and crotch Arn for a breather. Tully breaks up another tag attempt but gets caught by a cross body for two. They run the ropes a few times and collide, knocking both guys down to the mat. A gutwrench suplex puts Tully down again and it’s back to Anderson who misses a knee drop and gets popped with a right hand. Windham is spent though and collapses before making the tag.

Tully comes in again and hits his slingshot suplex finisher for a close two on Barry. Anderson comes in off the tag but Barry goes over to the corner and falls into the tag to Luger. Lex cleans house again and sends the champions into each other but Tully gets in a knee to the back to slow him down. Luger shrugs it off and snaps off the powerslam as everything breaks down. Dillon holds up a chair in the corner but Luger reverses a whip to send Arn head first into the steel for the pin and the titles. The crowd reaction for the pin is other worldly as the Horsemen were despised at this point.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match the show needed to make it historic as the Horsemen had held the titles for months on end and Luger was the man that needed to take them away. Barry was making the match work here before Luger came in to clean house at the end. That’s a good formula for someone like Luger and the result worked well.

Barry would turn heel and join the Horsemen soon after this and eventually become US Champion. Here he is defending at the 1988 Great American Bash.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Dusty Rhodes

Barry is defending here and this is Dusty’s rematch after being stripped of the title for beating up Jim Crockett. Windham used to be Dusty’s friend but turned on him to join the Horsemen and take Luger’s spot so there’s heat here. Barry charges in but Dusty lifts up his elbow to scare him away. Dusty sends him to the floor quickly and Barry needs time out. Barry drops an elbow on the back of his head but Dusty pops up for a gorilla press to take over.

A DDT puts Barry down again as Rhodes controls to start us off. Rhodes hits a top rope cross body for two after the earth stops shaking. Dusty pops both Windham and JJ with elbows and the crowd explodes. The fat man was indeed popular and no one can take that away from him. Five minutes in now and Barry pounds away. I miss the NWA telling us the time gone in a match as it helps keep track of where we are and wasn’t just for time limit endings.

We go to the floor and Windham’s piledriver is reversed. Barry pounds away in the corner and we go outside again. And never mind as Dusty leans back on the rope (amazingly it doesn’t snap like a twig) to slingshot Barry out to the floor again. Barry grabs his finisher, a claw hold, after JJ interferes. We’re currently at 90 seconds of the US Champion having his finishing move on Dusty but Dusty is gyrating. Make that two minutes of nonstop claw. Dusty manages to stand up, climb the ropes (which doesn’t call for a break from Tommy Young) and signal for an elbow but Windham takes him down again.

We’re at 3 minutes straight now and Dusty hasn’t been past his knees in about two minutes of that. Imagine if Cena stayed in the cross armbreaker for three minutes. The internet would form into a missile and kill him all at once. Total time in the Claw: four minutes and five seconds before an elbow breaks it up.

Let me repeat that: the old man (Dusty is a veteran at this point and in his early 40s) just lasted over four minutes in the finishing hold of the young unstoppable US Champion who won the title with that very hold. I’ve heard of killing moves dead before but Dusty took the Claw, shot it, buried it, turned it into a chicken, plucked it, cleaned it, put it in batter and sold it to a man named Sanders.

Dusty is immediately fine and tries a Figure Four but gets caught in the Claw again. Dusty was out of the hold all of 8 seconds. This one only lasts 46 seconds as they go up to the corner again. Barry tries the superplex but Dusty shoves him off and takes out the referee. Dusty slams him off and hits the big elbow but there’s no referee. Ronnie Garvin of all people comes out and kills Dusty dead with his Hands of Stone punch finisher as he turns heel. The Claw is academic as Dusty is dead and Windham retains. Garvin would be gone in only a few months and would be in the WWF by December.

Rating: D+. That claw in the middle was just so ridiculous. I mean seriously, Dusty lasted practically 5 minutes in it overall and was just fine until a punch comes out and stops him cold? I mean how weak does the Claw look now when a right hand, the most basic move in wrestling, ends Dusty faster than five minutes of a claw? How many matches have you seen that are shorter than five minutes? Imagine a single hold lasting that long. Crazy.

We’ll jump ahead again to the 1991 Great American Bash where Windham has been thrown into the World Title match against old rival Lex Luger.

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

In a cage if you missed that point and the title is vacant. Luger is clearly the more popular guy. Remember that. This is a short cage too as it’s maybe eight feet off the mat. The LOUD Flair chant begins again. Oh and another thing to complete the joke: Flair has the physical belt so they’re using the old Western States Title with a cheap looking plate over the part that says Western States.

The fans want Flair and we get going. They collide but no one goes anywhere. Luger hip tosses him down as we’re still in a feeling out process. They hit the ropes and Barry dropkicks him down and things slow down again. Small package gets two for Lex. He runs Barry over but the elbow misses. There are a lot of standoffs in this. Barry backdrops him down and they stare at each other some more. The camera guy looks at the fans as they chant for Flair. Nice job dude.

They go to the mat and Barry finally pops him in the face. A suplex puts Windham down and they stand off AGAIN. A figure four is broken up by Lex despite Barry not touching the leg at all yet. We’re like five minutes into the match so far and NOTHING has happened. Barry grabs a headlock and runs Luger over again. Lex grabs a sleeper but Barry counters into one of his own. Riveting stuff I tell you. Riveting.

Luger sends him into the corner to escape and this a DDT for two. That’s your biggest move so far people: a DDT. Lex goes up and gets slammed down, followed by a knee drop for two from Barry. Windham misses a top rope knee drop and Lex hits his series of clotheslines for two. There’s a powerslam and Luger puts him in the Rack but Barry kicks off the cage and backflips out in a cool counter.

A belly to back puts Luger down but he shrugs it off and loads up a superplex. That gets countered and Barry hits a top rope lariat. A regular lariat still gets no cover but a slam gets two. Barry goes up and hits a kind of flying superkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out for no apparent reason and Race says NOW IS THE TIME. Luger pops up and piledrives Windham for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that while there were two or three good minutes at the end, the first five minutes of the thirteen minute match were just dull. The heel turn at the end made NO sense and most people didn’t catch on because they popped for the pin. The match just wasn’t that good but there were good pieces to it if that makes sense. The ending sucked though and that brings it down even more. Eh screw it we’ll go with a D+. They earned it. Take that for what you will.

Another year forward as Barry is going after the Tag Team Titles in the finals of a tournament at Great American Bash 1992.

NWA World Tag Team Titles: Miracle Violence Connection vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

The Steiners come out before the match starts and are promptly thrown out. Dr. Death (Williams) and Windham get us going. Nothing of note happens there so it’s off to Gordy. Dustin finally does something by pounding away with elbows to the head. Gordy ties him up on the mat but it’s quickly off to Windham who hooks a figure four. Once that gets broken up it’s off to Williams and they go to the mat for more grappling.

That goes nowhere so it’s back to Gordy who runs over Barry some more, getting two off a clothesline. Rhodes comes in and fights Williams over a top wristlock but Dr. Death cheats by pulling him down by the hair. Gordy comes in with the STF again, which he calls the Oriental Twist. Dustin fights up and puts on a sleeper but Gordy makes a fast tag so he doesn’t have to sell or anything.

Williams takes it right back to the mat and cranks on another chinlock. JR goes on a small rant about how tag ropes should be used more, because that’s the most interesting thing he can talk about right now. That’s not sarcasm if you couldn’t tell. Gordy comes back in and puts on a Boston Crab which is broken up by Barry. Williams hits a powerslam for two and Dustin just walks over to make the tag.

Barry speeds thing up a bit and hits a pair of suplexes for two on Williams. And never mind as he hooks a sleeper to waste even more time. Dr. Death immediately rams him into the post to break the hold and puts on a chinlock. Barry suplexes out of it but Williams blocks the tag. Williams hooks on a front facelock which fires up JR way too much. Barry collides with Gordy and suddenly I want to listen to some Motown.

Windham gets up and Williams knocks him into the corner for the tag to Dustin but he gets knocked down almost immediately. Williams puts on ANOTHER front facelock to make sure the crowd isn’t woken from their slumber early. Gordy gets two off a clothesline. The Oklahoma Stampede is broken up by a Windham dropkick but Dustin’s bulldog is broken up. Dr. Death kills Dustin with a lariat to complete what was close enough to a squash.

Rating: D. Again, this was technically sound but it was dull. The MVC dominated the vast majority of this and most of that was them on the mat with some kind of hold on Dustin or Windham. That may be what pure wrestling is, but DANG is it ever boring. Also this makes no sense, as now the MVC has all of the titles and has defeated all of their challengers, so where do they go now? Instead, COMMON SENSE would say have Windham and Rhodes (or better yet the Steiners) win here and build to a unification match, but instead let’s have Oklahoma/Japan dominate.

The jump isn’t as bad this time as we hit another World Tag Team Title match at Starrcade 1992.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Brian Pillman vs. Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat

Windham used to be tag champions with Dustin Rhodes but lost the belts to Steamboat and Douglas a few months ago. Pillman turned heel due to frustration with only being Light Heavyweight Champion and hooked up with Windham soon thereafter. A few weeks ago Barry beat the tar out of both champions with a chair so Steamboat and Douglas want revenge. Douglas and Pillman start things off as Jesse’s mind is blown hearing about Shane holding a masters degree. A right hand puts Pillman down and more of them break up Pillman’s sunset flip attempt.

Brian, tired of losing the wrestling portion of the match, rakes Shane’s eyes to take over. Shane dropkicks him to the floor as Steamboat comes in for a double dropkick on Barry. Pillman bails to the floor as the champions double backdrop Windham. Barry gets the tag and wants Steamboat all to himself. A hard chop puts Barry down and a suplex does the same. Steamboat slows Barry down with a front facelock and a snapmare before bringing Shane back in.

Douglas puts Barry in a chinlock but Windham picks Shane up and suplexes out of it. Back to Steamboat for a neck snap on Barry and a right hand to Pillman. All champions so far. A clothesline puts Barry on the floor and Steamboat slams him on the wooden floor for good measure. Barry climbs up onto the ramp so Shane slams him down again just because he’s not a nice person. Ricky backdrops Barry into the ring and gets two off a neckbreaker. Back to Shane for another chinlock as Barry is trying to survive.

Windham FINALLY gets something going with a jawbreaker on Shane, allowing for the tag off to Brian. A facejam puts Shane down but a dropkick sends Pillman out to the floor and possibly into the barricade. Back in and Shane goes up top, but a distraction by Windham allows Brian to dropkick him off the top and out to the floor. Barry adds a big lariat for good measure before coming in legally and headbutting Shane down. A boot to Shane’s chest stops his comeback bid and Brian gets in some cheating for good measure.

Brian comes back in legally and chops Douglas down but Shane comes back with some right hands of his own. Pillman trips him up though and it’s right back to Windham, who stomps on Shane and throws him through the ropes and into the barricade to keep the champions in trouble. Steamboat goes to the floor to check on his partner but also blasts Windham in the back with a chair. It’s still not enough for the tag to Ricky though as Pillman suplexes Shane down.

Barry comes in off the top with a punch to Shane’s face and a suplex for two. Ross is losing his mind over the beating that Shane is taking. A splash gets two for Brian and Steamboat charges in, allowing the challengers to double team Shane in the corner. Barry tries another suplex, but this time Douglas counters into one of his own. Shane fires off one last right hand before falling backwards into the tag to Steamboat.

The Dragon (Steamboat) cleans house with slams for both guys but he walks into a powerslam from Barry to stop the comeback cold. A belly to back suplex puts Ricky down again and it’s off to Pillman, who illegally throws Steamboat over the top to the floor. The referee missed it though due to Shane, who also causes the referee to miss Windham throwing Steamboat into the post.

Back in and Steamboat chops it out with Pillman but gets caught in a headscissors for two. Windham comes in again with a top rope forearm to Ricky’s ribs, causing Ricky to….lecture him? Steamboat points his finger in Windham’s face and says something to him which confuses Barry. Windham goes up top but misses a right hand, allowing Steamboat to hit a superkick and a facejam to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Shane vs. Pillman with Douglas cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Steamboat cross bodies Windham onto the ramp. Shane hits his belly to belly suplex in Brian for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. Really awesome tag match here with all four guys working very hard to make everyone look good out there. Steamboat and Douglas would hold the belts until March, when Windham had to be replaced by Steve Austin due to an injury. Austin and Pillman proved to be a better team and took the belts, leading to a string of classic rematches. This was very good stuff though and match of the night by far to this point.

Barry would get an NWA World Title shot at SuperBrawl III.

NWA Title: Barry Windham vs. Great Muta

Flair is on commentary here. He would be perfect at that job today. This is a great example of why the NWA would never get anywhere: they insisted on doing things their way and having their own champions etc. No one cared about either of these two guys so they just insisted that they get TWENTY FIVE MINUTES on a WCW PPV. Why in the world should I care about these guys? The belt was just a name anymore but the NWA insisted it was still all about them.

It’s not NWA SuperBrawl or anything like that but hey, let’s make the longest match of the night about them. There’s just one problem: this match SUCKS. It’s 25 minutes long. After a minute we hit a headlock. At 9 and a half minutes in we break that headlock. Seriously, for nearly ten minutes it was a single headlock. The commentators have to try to make this seem interesting and epic and you can tell they don’t care either.

WCW would be out of the NWA to kill the freaking thing dead in September of 93. It’s been another 12 minutes since I typed anything as there is NOTHING to talk about. Muta tries two moonsaults and gets a bad jumping DDT (I think) for his troubles to lose the title. Flair hands Windham the belt and Windham shoves him. That showdown wouldn’t come for three months so Windham could have a title reign that no one remembers or cares about I guess.

Rating: F-. This was just freaking awful. What in the world was the point to having this anyway? Oh yes: to please the almighty NWA that no one cared about. Seriously, they couldn’t just accept that they were over and they still can’t to this day. Flair got the title in June before the NWA got dumped in September. They waited A YEAR before crowning a new champion in Shane Douglas. Dude seriously, if you insist on being a big deal, wait a few weeks, not a freaking year. This was awful on so many levels.

We’ll jump WAY ahead now as Windham didn’t do jack in his WWF run. Here he is in a double match final from the Tag Team Title tournament at SuperBrawl IX.

Tag Team Titles: Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

This is a tournament final, but since it’s double elimination and only Hennig/Windham are undefeated, Malenko and Benoit have to win two matches in a row. If Hennig and Windham win the first fall, they win the belts. Benoit and Malenko have already won three matches this week to get here. Heenan notices a nice plot point: you have current Horsemen against former Horsemen here.

Dean chases Windham around to start before they hit the mat to fight over hammerlocks. Off to Benoit vs. Hennig as the fans are still as hot as they were earlier in the night. Tony talks about Hennig, Malenko and Windham all being second generation wrestlers. Heenan: “So is referee Mickie Jay.” Tony: “Who was his father?” Heenan: “Oh he wasn’t a wrestling referee. He umpired a peewee football league in Moline, Illinois back in the 40s.”

Hennig chops Benoit in the corner so Benoit chops him so hard that Hennig falls to the mat. They slap it out and it turns into a fight in the corner. The running clothesline puts Hennig on the floor as Tony says Benoit has never been a champion before, meaning Benoit’s TV Title wins at house shows either don’t count, or Tony wasn’t informed of them. Barry comes back in and hammers away in the corner, only to get chopped right back.

Off to Malenko who dropkicks Windham into the ropes. Barry is a good two and a half feet from Hennig but Hennig comes in anyway. The referee puts him out but Windham gets in a cheap shot to take over. That was kind of an odd sequence. Hennig comes in legally and gets nailed by Dean, allowing him to roll to the corner for a hot tag to Benoit. Chris comes in and beats up both cowboys with ease and a backbreaker gets two on Curt.

A LOUD chop has Hennig in trouble and it’s back to Malenko for some shots in the corner. Heenan wants all car races to have no brakes because he likes his wrestling fast. Benoit nails the Swan Dive but Windham breaks up the cover. Curt gets crotches on the top rope and dropkicked out to the floor but comes back in with a low blow right in front of the referee. That’s perfectly fine with the son of a Moline football league umpire and Barry comes back in for two off a gutwrench suplex.

Dean gets sent to the floor and chopped up against the barricade for two back inside. Hennig gets sent into the corner as the fans think this is boring. Benoit takes Curt’s head off with a clothesline but Barry comes in with a cheap shot to take over. The superplex gets two as Dean makes the save and it’s back to Hennig for more chops. Hennig’s running neck snap gets two but Benoit finally rolls over and tags in Dean to clean house. Barry gets caught in the Cloverleaf and Benoit stops Hennig, forcing the submission for the first fall.

Since this is basically a two fall match I’ll save the rating for after the whole thing is done. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls.

Windham has taken his belt off and chokes Dean down, which there is no reason for the referee not to see. Barry keeps choking with the belt and pulls Dean to the mat for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This match is proof that WCW just does not understand what it’s doing. After the last month of putting up with this way too complicated tournament where WCW didn’t even know who was in it half the time, we sit through a long yet good match where the Horsemen win, only to have them lose the second fall a minute later because it’s double elimination. Not only was the tournament boring, but now the ending makes people mad.

Who in the world thinks Hennig and Windham deserve Tag Team Titles? They’ve teamed together for all of a few weeks and now they get the belts after the Horsemen win four matches in a week to lose the last fall in a minute? This is bad storytelling and completely missing what your audience wants. Yeah Benoit and Malenko can come back and win them later, but all the momentum and the interest is gone now. Horrible decision and just a stupid move. For WCW to think Barry Windham is more valuable than Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko in 1999 is ridiculous.

As for the match itself, it wasn’t bad but the refereeing here was atrocious. There’s a difference between relaxing the rules a bit and having referees mean as much as ECW referees. When a guy is punching the other man low right in front of the referee, something should be done. Otherwise, why bother having them there?

We’ll wrap things up with Fall Brawl 1999 as Windham and Hennig try to get their belts back.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. West Texas Rednecks

The Rednecks are Barry and Kendall Windham with Hennig in their corner. They’re country singers and that’s about it. The Windhams are legit brothers. Booker vs. Kendall to start us off and Kendall bails to avoid a spin kick. Heat double teams Kendall and it’s off to Stevie. Now Stevie won’t sell anything. Naturally this is probably going to be praised, because WCW needs more guys to no sell so their other guys look bad right?

Barry comes in to hit a DDT for no cover. How he went from being as totally awesome as he was at one point to being here now is amazing. Odd to see two pairs of brothers here. Actually it isn’t but there isn’t much to talk about here. Hennig gets in a shot to make sure that Kendall can get a two count on Stevie. Stevie gets a powerslam out of nowhere to put Barry down.

Double tag brings in Kendall and Booker with the more famous one doing what he can. Down goes Hennig and Kendall does the same a second after. The double teaming begins on the floor as Booker gets caught. Off to the chinlock on Booker by Kendall as the fans chant for the Heat. That’s better than nothing I guess. Axe kick hits but it would have been a bit better if Kendall had waited until it actually hit to go down.

Spinarooni is broken up by Barry and it’s back to the floor for Booker. More double teaming continues and it’s back in to Barry. Barry gets a middle rope superplex (his old finisher) but Stevie makes the save. If this sounds really boring, I’m getting better at this emotion thing in the writing. Kendall gets a lariat mostly to the neck for two. Booker gets his sunset flip out of the corner for two.

The heels double team a lot, as you would expect from a team with an old school guy like Barry. There’s a sleeper to Barry as this is probably on the verge of ending. Back off to Kendall who hits a weak middle rope clothesline for one. Classic old school spot as the referee misses the hot tag. Stevie beats up everyone anyway and everything breaks down. Hennig hits Ray in the head with a cowbell but the referee won’t count BECAUSE HE WAS PAYING ATTENTION!!!! WOW!!!!! Booker is still legal so the missile dropkick he hits gets the tag titles back.

Rating: D+. Match was weak but this is a fine sign of what Bischoff not being around means: the ending made perfect sense for a change and was actually kind of creative. No one cared about the match though, because we had seen it just a few weeks ago on Nitro. Nothing of note at all, as you could say about most matches tonight.

Barry Windham was one of the most talented guys in wrestling history. If he had ever put his mind to it, he could have been the next Ric Flair at the drop of a hat. He got lazy later in his career, but during the late 80s he very well may have been the best wrestler in the world. Given how deep wrestling was at that point, that’s quite the accomplishment.

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Today we’re looking at a legend: Terry Funk.

Funk got his start in 1965 but obviously a lot of that early stuff is almost impossible to find in full. Instead we’ll jump WAY ahead to September 11, 1982 at an All Japan show.

Terry Funk vs. Stan Hansen

It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Hansen hammering away, only to have Funk come back with those big left hands of his. They’re on the floor less than a minute in but Stan gets inside while Terry sits on the concrete. Back in and Hansen slams Funk, sending him right back to the floor. Some knees and kicks to the back of Funk’s head have him in even more trouble and he goes outside again. This time Stan follows him and hammers away before Funk scores with some elbows to the head back inside.

They grapple on the mat a bit and the fans are into it, though I have no idea who they’re cheering for. Terry chops away from the mat before nailing a belly to back suplex. Funk pounds Hansen in the head but Stan seems to like it and comes back with right hands of his own. We hit a chinlock from Hansen followed by a suplex for two.

Funk is thrown to the floor where he gets a chair, only to draw Stan outside to make it a real brawl. They head back inside and Funk is ticked off. He sends Hansen into the referee and a second referee takes a lariat from Stan. Someone who looks like Ron Bass runs in to hold Funk for the lariat as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here and the feud would continue until Funk’s first retirement match the next year when he brought in his brother to help him fight. This was WAY different than what you were going to get around this time as hardcore and violence was a very rare thing to see. Fun but not great stuff.

Funk would head to the WWF and go after Hulk Hogan’s WWF Title in 1986. Here they are on Saturday Night’s Main Event #4.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Terry Funk

Hogan is in blue here as I think this was on the SNME DVD. Yeah it was. They botch an Irish Whip reversal sequence early in the match but it comes off ok I guess. It’s weird seeing Hogan in there with Funk. That’s just an odd combination if there ever was one. JYD keeps annoying Jimmy Hart.

Hart manages Funk in case you didn’t get that idea. We get a nice segment where Funk keeps dropping down and Hogan keeps stepping on his back. Simple but effective. Funk throws chairs, nothing comes of it. Crowd LOVES Hogan to put it mildly. We get a low blow which wasn’t a common move back in the day. And just as I say that he gets crotched on the top rope. Funk gets some tape and chokes Hogan to take over.

Piledriver gets two. GO TO MEMPHIS! You’d be champion for 3 months since Hogan would be in the hospital that long. And now all of a sudden Hogan can’t feel pain. Oddly enough Hart gets a shot in with the branding iron to get a cover for Funk. Naturally Hogan gets his foot on the rope and Funk thinks he’s won. I guess even legends can be idiots like that. Hogan waits on him and takes his head off with a lariat for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing classic at all, but for a free TV title defense, this was fine. Hogan vs. anything that weighed less than 300lbs is always interesting and Funk being certifiable helped a lot as it made things far more interesting.

And a follow up from a house show in Boston on March 8, 1986.

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Hulk Hogan/Junkyard Dog

Hoss is Dory Jr. Terry gets in Gorilla’s face to start and the sunglasses come off. Terry has to be held back from going after a fan in the front row. JYD chokes Hoss and Hogan beats on Terry as GORILLA CURSES!!!! I feel so dirty now. Terry vs. JYD to start us off. Funk rams into the shoulder and tries to ram his head into JYD’s. Dog is lie boy…..just no. Off to Dory and we get an old school crisscross. JYD stops and Dory keeps running. Terry comes in and runs also as Dog just watches them. Funny stuff.

Off to Hogan vs. Dory with Hogan having bad ribs thanks to Bundy at the moment. Terry tries to interfere and takes out a cameraman in the process. I love the visuals in those. Now Terry is tangled up in the cables at ringside and falls down. He’s NUTS here. Hogan slams them both and the Funks hit the floor again. The fans LOVE Hulk to say the least. Even off basic slams he has them losing their minds.

Terry manages to send Hulk into the steps and gets a shot to the ribs to take over. He hammers away in the ring and that gets him nowhere. Off to the Dog who would usually play Ricky Morton but that formula hadn’t been invented yet. Dog gets beaten on for awhile until he gets an AWFUL belly to back to Terry to escape. Hogan comes in and another shot to the ribs has him in trouble.

Hogan gets choked by some tape and the referee misses the tag to the dog. Jimmy gets pulled into the ring so Terry chokes JYD with a rope. Hogan gets a clothesline out of nowhere to pin Terry, the illegal man, with. At least this is finally over. The show I mean. Well the match also but you get the point.

Rating: D+. Just a main event tag match that wasn’t very good as the tag team formula hadn’t been established yet. Not awful but their match on SNME was so far and away ahead of this that it wasn’t even funny. Also, is there any reason why Bundy wasn’t involved in this? If there is I certainly don’t get it. Tito would substitute for Hogan at Mania in the same tag match which was WAY better.

After a brief retirement and a career as an announcer, Funk would ask Ric Flair for a title shot at WrestleWar 1989. Flair said no and Funk snapped, brutally attacking Flari. Terry was told that he had to beat a contender to get a shot and he had that match at Clash of the Champions #7.

Terry Funk vs. Ricky Steamboat

The story here is Terry Funk is only ranked #10 in the contenders rankings and has to beat the #1 contender Steamboat to earn the title match he wants. They fight up against the ropes to start until Funk takes him into the corner for some hard chops. Steamboat chops him right back and we have an early standoff. Funk tries to speed things up a bit but gets chopped down to the floor.

Back in and Terry slugs away before throwing Steamboat through the ropes. Steamboat is fine with chopping on the floor but sends Funk back inside, only to be taken to the mat and pummeled with right hands. A neckbreaker and splash to the back get two for Terry but Steamboat fights back and sends him right back to the floor. Ricky comes off the top with a chop to the head before carrying Funk around ringside for a slam. Steamboat takes him back inside, only to slam Terry right back to the floor. Why that’s not a DQ for throwing someone over the top isn’t explained.

Terry comes back inside and hammers away with right hands and chops. A piledriver gets two but Steamboat pops up and chops Terry’s skin off. He runs into the referee by mistake though and Funk throws him back outside again. A running piledriver on the floor and a suplex back inside gets a VERY close two and Funk is ticked off. He hammers away at Steamboat’s head but his top rope splash hits knees. Steamboat hits a gutbuster and goes up for a chop to the head. Terry rolls to the floor and grabs the microphone to blast Ricky in the head for the DQ.

Rating: B+. You have one of the best heroes of all time against one of the best villains of all time when both guys were at one of the highest peaks of their careers. There was no way this match wasn’t going to be at least very good. Terry winning by DQ makes sense given his insanity, as you knew the rankings weren’t going to stop Funk from getting a shot at the title somewhere down the line.

The feud with Flair would continue at Halloween Havoc 1989 with some talented partners.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Great Muta/Terry Funk

This is the Thunderdome Cage Match. It’s an electrified cage and Bruno Sammartino is refereeing. You know he gets a big pop in the northeast. This is a combination of two feuds: Sting vs. Muta and Flair vs. Funk. The latter was the top feud of the summer with the former just a step behind. When it’s likely that Sting is the worst wrestler in a match, you know you’ve got some talent in the ring. You win by having your opponent’s team throwing in a towel and it’s Ole Anderson and Gary Hart as the towel bearers.

This isn’t a regular cage but rather a Cell type one. There’s no roof but it slants in and that’s the electrified part so no one is getting in or out. Funk tries to escape because he’s a little nuts. Something catches on fire so Muta spits Green Mist to put it out. Ok so it’s Flair vs. Funk to get us going. Flair chops away and Funk is in trouble early. Everyone comes in and Muta goes after Bruno which doesn’t work at all.

Flair throws Funk to the floor which isn’t a DQ because it’s a cage of course. Off to Sting who takes it to the space between the ring and the cage. Back to the Flair who slams Funk down and rolls forward, slapping Muta in the process. Awesome. Sting comes in with a perfect dropkick and the announcers blast Ultimate Warrior (Sting’s old partner). Off to Muta who is thrown back into Funk with ease. Muta is undefeated and I think TV Champion at this point. JR’s next sentence: “Suplex by Sting on the undefeated television champion of the world.” Thanks JR.

Sting and Flair have dominated so far. Everything breaks down and they head out to the floor. Muta and Sting wind up in the ring with the Great One taking over for the first time. Funk stomps on Sting outside and I think the tagging part is gone. Muta and Funk double team Sting in the ring with a bunch of elbow drops but Flair comes back in for the save. Muta misses a high kick and Sting bulldogs him down.

Funk takes one as well and Flair is standing on the apron again. He comes in to break up a double team though and climbs the cage with Funk. Sting suplexes Muta and now everyone but Funk is climbing. Muta goes up high enough that his feet are above the top rope. He might have gotten electrocuted also. Flair chops Funk so hard that Funk starts climbing the cage.

Flair chases Funk and in a SCARY spot, Funk is hanging from the top of the cage while Flair chops him. Funk’s knee is caught in the cage as Sting slams Muta. Everyone but Funk is back in the ring now and Muta is tossed out. Muta goes under the ring as Funk climbs up again. Sting goes after him as Flair puts the Figure Four on Muta. Is there any need for Bruno in this match?

For no apparent reason, Flair lets the hold go. There was no Funk or anything anywhere near him and he just let it go. Muta gets a HARD kick to Flair as Sting swings on a rope like Tarzan but crotches himself in the process. Muta hooks a modified Indian Deathlock on Flair and hooks a bridging neck crank at the same time. Funk tied Sting to the cage and goes in to spike piledrive Flair.

Sting finally gets loose, climbs even high and DIVES onto Funk. He would have been three feet above the top rope for that. Muta climbs up and Funk has a bad leg. You can feel Flair smiling from here. There’s the knee crusher as Sting goes after Muta. Muta goes for the moonsault but Sting crotches him. Figure Four to Funk and Sting splashes him from the top. There’s a second splash and Bruno clocks Muta. Ole punches Hart which sends the towel flying and that’s good enough for Bruno to call for the bell.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s definitely not a classic. With Muta and Funk climbing the cage for absolutely no apparent reason and having no point for Bruno being in there, it’s kind of a puzzling match. It’s not bad but at the end of the day, there’s not much of a point to a lot of this. Fun match and it gets awesome at times, but it’s not something worth going out of your way to see.

That would be it for Funk in America for a few years. Funk would join the upstart Eastern Championship Wrestling and appear at one of its first big events: Ultra Clash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a freaking DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

The next year, Funk would be involved in the match that put ECW on the map. From The Night The Line Was Crossed.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Ok so is this 60 minutes or are Shane and Sabu going 75? Sabu leaves, I guess with an injury and it’s Shane vs. Terry. Given that we have less than an hour in the tape and there are post match interviews, the whole thing is an hour but Funk only has to go 45. Ok then. Funk hits a piledriver on the floor but we can’t see all of it since it’s not on the camera side. To be fair the same thing happened at the end of the 94 Rumble so that’s a thing of the times and not ECW.

Funk hits a pair of DDTs in the ring (one like a football being spiked and one being like a basketball being bounced according to Joey). Terry wants a chair so about 6 people throw them in. They get piled up and Shane takes ANOTHER DDT on them. Seriously that’s all we’ve had from Funk so far: DDTs and a piledriver. Shane manages to beat Funk to his feet after that DDT which is odd.

Shane beats on Funk who now has a bad back it seems. This is moving REALLY slowly and nothing of note is happening. We had a long stretch of brawling in the audience and nothing of note happened. Douglas mixes things up with a DDT of his own. How innovative! All Shane here as Funk is busted open. The referee goes down at some point and this is literally putting me to sleep.

They slug it out for a bit and then head into the crowd. We’re 30 minutes in here and are in the crowd. This has been far from great like it’s built up to be. For some reason the arena looks like it’s full of smoke. So yeah the whole one hour three way dance thing is pretty much nonsense. Ah here’s Sabu FINALLY after being gone about fifteen minutes. Funk comes up towards the announce table and steals a mic, Joey’s in this case, thinking he’s yelling at the crowd and therefore the guys in the ring. The problem is that he’s yelling into Joey’s mic so only the people watching the tape can hear him. Brilliant.

We’re thirty five minutes in and Sabu is in a spinning toehold. 911 comes in and lets Heyman hit Funk with the phone (it’s Paul E. Dangerously but you get the idea). Terry gets a neckbreaker on the guy whose neck would be broken by Benoit later on but Heyman saves again. The triple sleeper spot hits which is either creative or idiotic. I’m not sure why it would be idiotic but it has that feeling to it. Again, no idea why.

Now it’s basically who can get the longest leg lock on Sabu. Shane puts on a Figure Four, but remember that Ric Flair is a horrible man. We hit 40 minutes and Heyman saves Sabu again. Sabu botches the heck out of a springboard moonsault. Sherri is in the ring for no apparent reason. Axl and Ian Rotten come out to help Funk as Shane gets two on Sabu. Sabu botches a rana and Terry leaves. Yeah…..this whole triple threat has been a triple threat for about 3 minutes out of almost 45.

A springboard legdrop hits Shane in a clip from Rise and Fall of ECW. And here are the Rottens to beat up both guys again. This is making my head hurt. We’re 45 minutes in so I only have 15 minutes left. Joey says 15 minutes left in what match? So somehow we’ve gone from Terry Funk vs. Shane vs. Sabu to Shane/Sabu vs. the Rotten Brothers. Sabu fights the Rottens to the back and Shane is alone in the ring. He just stands there and here comes Sabu….oh never mind he has to fight one of the Rottens again first.

Funk comes back, as do Paul, 911 and Ian Rotten. And now there’s no one in the ring. Hat Guy is back by the concession areas and Funk vs. Shane spills outside. This must have been RIVETING for the live crowd with no video screens. And Funk beats up the referee. Joey tries not to laugh while asking why. With ten minutes left Shane and Terry are beating each other up and we now get the clock going again on how long can all three guys be in the ring for. So far out of 50 minutes I’d guess it’s about 9 minutes.

Sabu hits a top rope moonsault and Funk’s knee is hurt. Joey says the match was over 15-20 minutes ago. To quote him, what match? Shane vs. Terry? Shane vs. Sabu? Sabu/Shane vs. the Rottens? Terry vs. one of them? Sherri vs. the laws of time and gravity? The referee stays dead for the better part of ever. He must have been watching the match.

Five more minutes and the fans suddenly get that this is going to a draw. Another new match breaks out with Terry beating up Sherri. Four minutes left and nothing at all is happening. The bald Heyman is knocked out by Shane. Let’s see: Rottens, Sherri, 911, Heyman….yeah I think that’s all. We’ve only had five run-ins so far. Three minutes and we’re out of here (the clock is ticking and we’re in the clear).

Sherri’s boot gets used a lot as Joey makes me angry by saying this is like Piper vs. Valentine from 1983. The camera goes black for a minute and we have two minutes left. Funk beats up Heyman for no good reason. Less than a minute to go and the referee has now been out over ten minutes from a single headbutt. Can we get this guy some freaking medical attention? Two near falls within the last five seconds and that’s it. The fans give them a standing ovation for absolutely no deserved reason. This was bad…..like very bad.

Rating: D+. Cue the ECW diehards to come in here and explain why I just hate ECW and will never get what it’s about. While that may be true, I know a bad match. This wasn’t horrible and there have been far worse matches, but for this to be considered a classic or even a very good match is a joke. This “hour long triple threat” is more like a 15 minute triple threat, two fifteen minute singles matches, a 4 minute tag match and a bunch of standing around.

Sabu was SPENT about half an hour into this and he just laid on the mat for most of the time. I was bored to death watching this because the longest stretch where they’re all in the arena is about 8 minutes long. I have no idea what the standing ovation was for as this was just way too long and while it’s not horrible, it’s definitely not anywhere close to as good as it’s made out to be.

Terry would come back to WCW for Slamboree 1994, which was a glorified ECW show.

Tully Blanchard vs. Terry Funk

Blanchard comes out to what would become Jericho’s face music. There’s something wrong with the sound as you literally cannot hear the announcer. And Funk, who has been missing all night, comes out to something sounding like a slapped together Magnificent Seven theme. Now keep in mind this is in the….GORDON SOLIE IS ANNOUNCING!!! Anyway, they decide to have Funk in ECW’s town. Guess who the INSANELY over face is in this match.

Funk stands in front of Hat Guy. And of course we start on the floor. See, now unlike Heroes of Wrestling, Blanchard is in solid shape here. Also he’s not completely obsolete anymore. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Solie just throws out that he was in Miami back in 75 when Funk won the belt. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to crack open a beer with him and listen to him tell stories?

I think this is no rules which would make more sense here. Funk piledrives Blanchard through a piece of wood, which you can read as Terry’s hips goes through it and Blanchard’s head comes nowhere near it. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. This is an intense match which is impressive as the old guys are having a more interesting match than the others were. There goes the referee of course and it’s chair time.

Blanchard is bleeding. Funk tries to piledrive Tully from the middle rope onto the chair but he winds up just landing on the chair so it looked like a really screwed up powerbomb which is likely best in the end. Tully hits the referee for the DQ but I think it’s just a double DQ. The fans audibly chant their displeasure. Funk takes Hat Guy’s hat to end it.

Rating: B+. Fun. That’s the only way to describe this match. These two went out there and had fun and that’s all you can ask for. Yes that rating is likely high but this match was a blast. I can’t ask for more than that from a match with no point other than having two legends. The wrestling was quite good here too.

Funk wouldn’t be active for most of 1995 and 1996. As the first major star ECW had, Funk was in the three way dance at Barely Legal for an ECW World Title shot.

Stevie Richards vs. Sandman vs. Terry Funk

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets Raven later in the night for the World Title. Richards is the leader of the BWO but he’s starting to be taken a bit more seriously as a main event guy. He used to be Raven’s lackey but has now struck out on his own. Sandman, known for drinking and smoking on the way to the ring, busts himself open with a beer can on the way to the ring. He and Raven have a long history as well so he would make sense as a challenger too. Funk is the grizzled veteran looking for one more hurrah and is taking Dreamer’s place tonight as Dreamer wanted his mentor to get the title.

Sandman downs another beer and spits it in Stevie’s face while still holding his Singapore cane. All three guys circle each other until Terry and Richards lock up. Sandman breaks it up and chops Stevie in the corner, only to get in a fight with Funk. An early spinning toehold is broken up by Richards and Terry takes a bunch of elbow drops from both guys. Sandman and Richards get into it so Terry hits four straight neckbreakers on Stevie for two.

With no real provocation, Sandman throws in a ladder which blasts Funk in the back of the head. He suplexes the ladder down onto Richards and hits Terry in the head again for two. Terry and Sandman climb the ladder in the corner but Funk moonsaults down onto a standing Stevie instead. Still on the ropes, Sandman picks up the ladder and drops it down onto Richards’ back for two.

Stevie superkicks the ladder into Sandman’s face for two before both of them climb the ladder for no apparent reason. Funk falls into them to knock everything over and all three guys are down. With Stevie down, Sandman and Terry take turns ramming each other face first into the ladder. Richards gets back up and catapults the ladder into the others’ faces and everyone is down again. The Stevie Kick nails Sandman for two and Terry takes one for the same.

Sandman throws both of them plus the ladder out to the floor and dives over the top, knocking the ladder into Richards’ face. Back in and Terry suplexes Stevie but Sandman throws in a trashcan, nailing Terry square in the head. Funk doesn’t seem to mind and even helps Sandman with a spike piledriver on Stevie. Sandman crushes him under the ladder but Terry can only get two.

Terry nails Sandman in the face with the ladder to send him to the floor as Dreamer rants about Raven getting to face the winner while fresh. A double powerbomb is enough to pin Richards and get us down to one on one, sucking some life out of the crowd. Sandman and Terry shake hands then punch each other in the face, only to have Terry backdrop him out to the floor and onto Stevie.

We get barbed wire brought in but Terry wraps Sandman’s shirt around his face and hammers away. The barbed wire is whipped over Sandman’s back to cut him open, but Sandman wraps it around himself and drops a top rope legdrop for two. Stevie is still here for some reason as the trashcan is put over Sandman’s head, setting up a superkick to knock Sandman silly. Terry adds a moonsault for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was the hardcore mess that you have to expect with ECW. Sandman wasn’t much of a wrestler in the technical sense but the fans were way into him and he could throw a solid punch. Funk winning was the best option with Dreamer not being an option, but the fans were WAY behind Stevie here and an upset wouldn’t have been a terrible idea.

Raven immediately hits the ring and the title match is on.

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Raven

Funk can barely move so Raven nails him in the back of the head with the title belt. A chair is brought in and Terry is sent face first with a drop toehold. Dreamer says he can’t do commentary and has to watch. Beaulah hasn’t said a word yet. Funk is busted open so we stop for the doctor to take a look at him. The fans beg for Tommy to come down and take his place but the match is allowed to continue anyway. Raven stops to set up a table at ringside before picking it up and suplexing it onto Funk.

Despite saying he can’t talk, Dreamer won’t stop telling Joey that he doesn’t understand why Terry keeps going. Raven puts Terry on the table outside and nails a huge dive through it in a huge dive. One of Raven’s lackeys named Reggie Bennett (a former Funk supporter) comes down for a “piledriver” on Funk. Raven grabs a mic and says he’s taking Funk over to the announcers’ area and putting him through three tables right in front of Dreamer.

Tommy stands up and says try it but Big Dick Dudley returns and lays Dreamer out. Raven hits his DDT on the referee as Tommy throws Dudley through the tables. Dreamer comes to the ring and DDTs Raven to get Funk a VERY close two. So close that the bell rang inadvertently. It’s a strange decision too as Funk small packages Raven for the pin and the title three seconds later.

Rating: D. I understand the story of the match, but this really didn’t work for me. It’s basically a squash with a screwy ending as Funk had maybe one offensive move in the entire stretch. Funk winning is a nice moment, but Dreamer getting the win would have made for a better story and made more sense, especially if Funk had said his time was over and Dreamer was the new era.

Funk would have his own retirement show called Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest on September 11, 1997.

Terry Funk vs. Bret Hart

I’m pretty sure this isn’t for the title so we’ll go with that. It’s no DQ if nothing else. He comes out to a cover of Freebird. Sandman had the regular Metallica theme and he can’t use Freebird? Dory is with him and there’s Bret’s music. This is just weird to see/hear. Bret is from Calgary, Canada and is the present WWF Champion. Seriously who talks like that?

Bret was the monster heel in WWF at the moment so the reaction here should be interesting. Dennis Stamp is the referee, who was Bret’s first ever opponent and I believe a jobber in the AWA. A bunch of people get in the ring. Chris Candido is in a towel. Seriously you couldn’t throw on some jeans? Heyman has the mic and the fans are cheering for Funk. Heyman puts Funk over very well for ECW and for Amarillo and wrestling in general.

In a cool moment they give him a belt and declare him World Heavyweight Champion for life. I like that. That’s rather cool. Bret gets on the mic and gets booed out of the building. He says what Bret Hart the person not Bret Hart the character would say which is very nice. He shakes Funk’s hand and says he’s going to kick bear the tar out of Terry. Nothing wrong with that as it makes Terry the even bigger face.

The camera is messed up early and we can only see half of the ring. Ah there we are. This referee is SLOW with his counts. Funk uses a headlock for awhile as they’re having a very basic match to start us off. This is pretty solid stuff so far with basic technical stuff but it’s working.

Funk can wrestle quite well. Don’t think he’s all about hardcore and brawling. He can go on the mat. Funk gets the toe hold but it’s broken up by the ropes and now we’re getting some punches. One of Bret’s brothers is his corner man. We’re not told which though. They’re going very slowly here to set up the big ending which is fine by me. Something happens in the crowd as they all get up all of a sudden.

Terry gets rammed into the table on the floor. This has been solid so far. After working the knee the entire match, Bret hooks the figure four and uses the ropes which is completely legal here. DAng that’s a bad figure four. It’s getting into Dusty territory here. Stu Hart is here also. He has two brothers here and neither is Owen so who cares? Funk makes his comeback with mainly punches and gets a great pop. Funk gets a DDT so I’m happy.

For a guy that’s 50, Funk looks pretty decent. At 15 minutes in we hit the crowd and Funk is in control. The figure four on the post breaks that up as I continue to think the post wouldn’t actually do that much in it. Bret initiates the ending sequence but stops to go grab a chair. Funk winds up with it and goes off on the knee. The announcer can’t tell time as 6 minutes after 15 minutes passed we’re at 20 minutes.

Funk goes for a Vader Bomb onto Bret through a table but misses Bret and goes through. He’s busted open too. It’s all Bret here as this has been a really good match. Funk gets a small package out of the Sharpshooter for one. See what I mean about the speed of these counts? Seriously a one count after twenty minutes? Funk gets the toe hold and Bret is in trouble.

Terry goes for one spin too many and there’s the other small package that gets two. See how much better that sounds than ONE? They do the messed up time thing AGAIN but thankfully Bret ends it as Funk hits a belly to back suplex and Bret gets his shoulder up while Terry’s are down.

Post match Funk gets the weakest announcement ever from the worst announcer ever and then he says he has no complaints and he loves the fans. Classy. He’d also be in the WWF in 3 months but it’s Terry Funk so it’s a bit different.

Also they said his last match in Amarillo more than once tonight, so that’s a bit better. Big difference between this and what Flair got which I classify as a bit disrespectful but that’s for a later argument.

Rating: A-. Great match here as they had someone out there that legitimately respected Funk and they let him have a great match. Funk’s in ring work is vastly underrated in the technical aspect so this was a nice way to let him showcase himself. Also notice something here: he went out losing to a younger star, giving Bret the spotlight rather than taking it for himself. This was a very good match regardless of the circumstances and I liked it quite a bit.

Terry would come back to the WWF as Chainsaw Charlie and team with Cactus Jack. They would receive a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania XIV in a dumpster match.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

This is a dumpster match which is a casket match with a dumpster. The Outlaws are defending because two months ago they put Cactus and Funk (Charlie is Terry Funk) in a dumpster and shoved it off the stage. Billy and Roadie are about 24 hours from joining DX so they’re not quite what they would become yet. It’s a brawl to start (were you expecting anything else?) and there’s a dumpster at ringside to put a team inside.

Cactus and Roadie trade shots to the head as Billy chokes Funk. Jack tries to charge off the apron at Roadie but gets sent into the side of the dumpster instead. Funk goes into the barricade as the champions are controlling early on. They backdrop Terry into the dumpster but he escapes before Jack can be put inside with him. That’s fine with the Outlaws as they drape both challengers over the edge of the dumpster and slam the lids over the backs of both guys.

Both challengers are put back inside but Jack grabs stereo Mandible Claws to stop the Outlaws’ momentum. We head back inside and Road Dogg gets caught by some neckbreakers before Jack and Billy head to the floor again. The Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet crushes Gunn and it’s ladder time. Back in and Cactus goes up on top of the ladder along with Billy, onto to have Terry knocked into the ladder, sending both guys on top of it into the dumpster. Cactus climbs out as Terry is powerbombed into the dumpster.

The three remaining people fight into the back and Cactus is rammed into various metal objects. Now he goes into some large (as in 6’0) bottles of Surge and Powerade but Cactus comes back with double arm DDT onto a forklift. Funk pops back in and raises the Outlaws up on the forklift and drops them in another dumpster for the titles.

Rating: C. This was a garbage match (literally) but it was a fun brawl and the good guys got their revenge on the guys that injured them in the first place. What more can you ask for from a match like this, which was the third biggest on the card? Later it would be decided that the title change didn’t count because that was the wrong dumpster, leading to a cage rematch the next night with the Outlaws regaining the belts and joining DX.

Funk would be annoyed at losing the titles, setting up this match on Raw, May 3, 1998.

Mick Foley vs. Terry Funk

Austin is on commentary. He has some beers before the match as is expected. This is what we would call a hardcore match but that term hasn’t been established yet. At the time this is the only match Foley has ever wrestled under his real name. He’s in the sweatpants and flannel shirt. There’s no referee but we have a special one: it’s Pat Patterson. Austin isn’t happy but let’s go.

Funk fires away and we head to the floor quickly. He grabs a chair and Foley does his best thing: takes a big old beating. Foley tries to get fired up but he can’t quite do it which is some nice storytelling. A cord comes unplugged and Austin’s mic messes up. He blames Vince and steals Jerry’s. That one is broken but he gets it to work somehow. Now that one messes up. Nice touch. For some reason Austin drills Lawler and Ross says he didn’t have anything to do with it.

Funk is destroying Foley here with a chair and it looks like Austin can talk freely now. The mats have been peeled back and Foley tries a piledriver on it but gets reversed. Austin threatens to put JR’s hat somewhere on JR’s own body. Is that where the Dr. Vince thing came from? The railing is torn apart and they’re into the crowd. Foley beats up a hot dog vendor and then goes through a table. Funk, a spry 53 at this point, goes up to the balcony and moonsaults off to mostly hit Cactus.

He’s holding his neck and might be screaming stop it. Foley is like screw that and hits a Texas Piledriver (the kind where he pulls on the tights instead of locking his hands around the waist) through another table. They fight under the stands and we take a break since we don’t have a cameraman there yet. Back with clips from the break with Foley throwing Funk into various objects that aren’t meant to have people thrown into.

They fight back into the arena with Funk in trouble. Foley hits him with something made of metal and they’re up by the ramp. Patterson being a referee hasn’t made much of a difference yet. A piledriver on the ramp gets two because Funk has no problem with that kind of a beating. Back in the ring and Funk is still like “DUDE MY NECK IS HURT” but Foley stomps away, really pushing the title run at any cost.

A Cactus Clothesline puts them in front of the announce table. Foley rips up said table with Austin saying do whatever it takes but don’t touch his belt. With Funk on the table, Foley gets the chair and runs off the apron to drive it into Terry. Austin and Foley have a staredown and Austin says beat Funk then come after me. Back in the ring now and Austin apologizes for his language. “It’s usually worse than this but I have to be nice on TV.”

Double arm DDT gets two. This is AWESOME by the way. Austin is praising Funk the entire match about how great he is and tough he is. He says he doesn’t mind fighting Foley but Foley needs to prove something first. A piledriver looks to end this but Foley doesn’t cover. Instead it’s another piledriver on a chair and that’s FINALLY it.

Rating: A-. Now THIS is a brawl. This wasn’t about being goofy or about stupid weapon shots. There’s a way that a hardcore match can in fact be hardcore and brutal with both guys destroying each other and this was it. The storytelling of Foley reaching levels of evil he didn’t want to go to but doing them anyway for the sake of one more shot at the title is great stuff and Foley sells it like the master that he is. This is on Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses which is another reason to get that DVD, which is already awesome.

After leaving the WWF, Funk would return to ECW but wouldn’t have a match. He tormented Tommy Dreamer for months but retired (again) before they had a match. The retirement would last all of a few months as Terry would head back to WCW. He would get a Hardcore Title shot at Spring Stampede 2000.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley

Norman is hiding in the men’s room and is in a catcher’s uniform complete with chest protector. They’re into catering now and it’s all Funk. Funk pours a bunch of Cokes on him (still in cans) as Tony says this isn’t a match, despite Taylor calling it a match and a bell ringing. They’re in the kitchen now and they crawl through a dish return line to get there. Tony talks about the merits of industrial strength cookie sheets as he probably wonders how he still has a career.

They head into the hallway and Norman climbs a conveniently placed ladder. Norman gets some chair shots in and we head to the arena. Terry is taking a bunch of chair shots to the head which are scarier each time. Madden wants to know why Terry would do this to himself. The term “middle aged and CRAZY” doesn’t work for Madden I guess. It’s Wiggle Time but you don’t simulate anal sex on a Texan! Funk hits a huge chair shot and we’re back outside.

Terry pulls out a ladder and puts it between the bottom and middle ropes on the inside. Dustin Rhodes comes out because we MUST have more Rhodes vs. Funk because the feud only started 25 years ago so we’re all begging for a continuation right? Dustin of course fails because he’s booked like a clueless putz when he’s not Goldust so he causes some pain for Norman. Funk drops a ladder over the top onto Norman for the title.

Rating: C. These matches are hard to not smile at a bit. Yes they’re stupid and mindless brawls but at the same time, they’re stupid and mindless brawls. Nothing great and Dustin added absolutely nothing to it at all (which should be on his tombstone), but Funk vs. Smiley was a weird combination that made for entertaining comedy and with the Hardcore Title, what more can you ask for?

Funk would still be in the hardcore division when WCW was dying. Here he is at Sin in a Hardcore Title match.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Terry Funk vs. Meng

Meng has the title itself but Funk is champion. Daffney tries to jump Funk which of course fails. Crowbar, no longer a seventies guy (that would be Funk) jumps Funk and the brawl starts sans Meng. They head to the back into the ladies room. Standard bathroom fight as Crowbar is slammed into every stall. Meng is nowhere to be seen here. Ah there he is.

He throws a plastic trashcan over Funk and hammers on it a bit. They head back into the arena and Funk pelts a trashcan at Meng’s head. They double team him for a bit before Funk realizes that makes too much sense so he beats up Crowbar. Luckily there happens to be about six tables stacked up against a wall. WE FOUND THE SOURCE!!!!! Crowbar hits Funk with a laptop as Hudson says Crowbar wants the Cruiserweight Title back.

Crowbar climbs into the crowd and dives on Funk on a table which the camera completely misses. Why do they miss it? Because they accidently cut to the ring crew fixing the ring ropes. And people wonder why this company went out of business. This is what replay is for I guess as we get to see the Boom Drop for lack of a better term.

Meng pops up to him Crowbar with a trashcan again and take over one more time. They head to the stage with Crowbar hammering away to no effect. Side kick sends Crowbar sprawling down the ramp. Funk gets a snow shovel from somewhere and pops Meng with it to send him down. That’s a rarity. Funk slams Crowbar through the railing which literally almost snaps in half. Good thing WCW upgraded to the barriers made of cotton candy.

Funk and Crowbar go to the ring where Funk takes some chair shots to the knees and gets Pillmanized. Well kind of at least. Funk of course is on his feet seconds later and hammers away. Meng is back now and Crowbar puts a figure four on despite Meng hammering on him. Meng goes up top and crushes Crowbar with a splash. That looked awesome. Piledriver gets two as Funk saves.

Meng hammers away and slams Funk before a middle rope splash gets two. Funk and Crowbar hit Meng literally about 18 times with chairs to take him down. The head shots don’t work as well due to the afro but they’re trying at least. Funk gets Meng in position for a DDT but Crowbar blasts him with a chair. Kick takes Crowbar down and the Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title. He would be in the Royal Rumble a week later.

Rating: C. This got a lot better after the first five minutes or so. Meng as a total monster is a fun character. That’s probably why WWF signed him to a guaranteed deal a day or so after this while WCW was doing a pay per appearance kind of thing and thought there was nothing wrong with putting a title on him (his first actually). Meng would be in the Rumble seven days later as a surprising appearance and kind of as a big SCREW YOU to Bischoff as the Hardcore Division in WCW died with the title never being mentioned again other than I think once on Thunder.

Like almost every wrestler not in WWE after WCW closed, Funk would make an appearance in TNA. From Weekly PPV #82 on February 18, 2014.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk

Raven is in a long war with the Gathering and Funk is here to help him out. Funk gets attacked when Raven is still in the aisle so Bird Boy hits the ring to hammer on Punk in the corner. Dinero comes back in and stomps away as Terry is out on the floor. Funk is already bleeding and Punk shouts at him to bleed more. Some slaps to the face just tick Funk off as Dinero hammers on Raven outside. Terry fights back from his knees and Dinero gets hammered as well.

The spinning toehold doesn’t have much effect and Funk is back in for the save. The match finally settles down with Funk getting double teamed but getting his knees up to stop a top rope backsplash. Terry crawls to the wrong corner because of the blood in his eyes before getting to his feet and falling into Raven for the hot tag. Raven cleans house and everything breaks down. A Stunner puts Julio down and Funk rolls him up for two. Raven superkicks Punk to the floor and DDTs Dinero for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty basic brawl and Punk didn’t mean anything yet. It’s always cool to see future stars like him in their earlier days though and this was just as cool. Funk with the spinning toehold gets kind of sad to see this late in his career.

Since he was a big part of ECW, Terry would appear at the ECW reunion show Hardcore Homecoming and participate in the main event on June 10, 2005.

Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Oh ok. This is a barbed wire rope match so that’s why they had to use so much time. Francine is with Shane (freaking hot) who booked the tour so this is a huge deal for him, Sabu has Fonzie and Funk has Sunny. Shane talks a lot. He’s great in case you didn’t remember that. Funk is 61 years old here. I get that people think it’s cool and impressive and stuff, but it’s not.

This is stupid of him to keep doing this and they shouldn’t let him. Let him come out and address the crowd and maybe even do a run in, but seriously, do not allow him to do this anymore. Sabu of course has no issues with wrestling without a shirt. They have this annoying split screen thing where it’s just another camera angle of the same thing. I don’t get that but whatever.

Sabu goes chest first into it which can’t feel good. More or less this is how many times can we screw up Sabu, which tells me he’ll be winning. Naturally we get the triple sleeper which is a spot that I just hate. If someone is going to be eliminated, why not just let the person in the initial sleeper be in it so that that person is out? If you put the guy in the middle to sleep, he’s going to lose the sleeper he’s got. So we get a ton of weapons and violence, none of which really go anywhere.

This just isn’t that interesting, but it’s supposed to be a throwback to the original and on that note it’s a good thing. Funk gets tied up in the wire and there’s blood everywhere. Sabu gets his neck caught in it and the freak show is on. WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FREAKING CAMERA ANGLES JUMPING??? Joey suggests that Shane has been planning this beating for years. Ok then.

The ropes are pretty much gone as they had to cut both guys out. Douglas hits the referee in the back of the head with a chain for no apparent reason, to set up the real shock of the night: the lights go out and as they come back on, MICK FREAKING FOLEY is in the ring to a massive pop. He would do the commentary with Joey in two days so this really was a big deal.

He busts out Socko to get booed out of the building but a double arm DDT helps things. He wraps Socko in barbed wire to help a bit and after the Tumbleweed and a chair shot, Douglas is out. After more brawling, they set up a ladder and the ladder literally crumbles. I mean it just breaks apart which is cool looking. This lets Sabu hit an Arabian Facebuster with a chair to get the pin. There’s a HUGE celebration with these four guys and Terry gets carried out as his shirt is more or less covered in blood to end the show.

Rating: F. For letting Funk do this at 60+ years old. I get that he wanted to, but sometimes you have to tell the guy no. Let him do what Foley did instead or something, but you can’t have him out there getting beaten up like this, period. It’s irresponsible and trying to make a quick buck while jeopardizing a man’s safety. A regular match, or a match under MUCH more strict control (which we’ll get to in a minute) is one thing, but a mess like this is ridiculous.

Funk would appear at One Night Stand 2006 in one of the featured matches, teaming with Tommy Dreamer against Edge/Mick Foley in an old school vs. new school hardcore match.

Edge/Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk

Foley is booed out of the building but we have promos before the match. He says he did sell out, but he means Madison Square Garden. He loved ECW at the point when it was run by a true visionary, so let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon! Long live the Alliance! Funny stuff. Here’s Edge with Lita. Edge says this is ECW’s Christmas but Heyman is Santa. Then they’re going to go home and text their imaginary girlfriends that the show was great then get on the internet and pleasure themselves to his actual girlfriend. Funny stuff again. Lita says the fans get little action and runs down Beaulah.

The cover of Man in the Box comes on to keep the riot from starting. Even Beaulah is here so let’s make it a six man/woman.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way. The barbed wire on Funk’s eye was a bit too far for me though.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Terry’s many indy appearances, from AWE Night of the Legends on October 15, 2011.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Dreamer

No DQ here because what else would it be? Dreamer is of course wearing an AWE shirt because if you want something advertised, call Tommy Dreamer. Funk immediately asks for a mic and says he always gets a physical before he gets in the ring. He yells at the fans but says he’s not supposed to be in a wrestler. Funk says he’s getting in the ring for the fans and Tommy Dreamer because Dreamer loves hardcore. Terry talks about getting older and meaner before blasting Dreamer in the face with the mic.

We head to the floor with Dreamer in trouble and getting a drink thrown into his face. Funk gets thrown into what looks like a school desk before Dreamer is thrown into a thick table. Terry starts throwing plastic chairs at Tommy and crotches him on the steel barricade. Back in and Funk fires off some headbutts including some on all fours. We head to the floor all over again with Dreamer being sent into the barricade again.

Tommy steals a drink and spits it in Terry’s face before heading back inside with a pair of chairs. They chop it out a bit and Dreamer is taken down onto a chair via a drop toehold. Funk goes after Tommy’s knee with a chair and puts on the Spinning Toe Hold. Dreamer hits him in the head with a chair, hits him in the ribs again, and rolls him up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. I do not like matches like this one. Terry Funk may think that he’s ready to be in the ring but he was 67 years old here and did not need to be out there in a wrestling ring. On top of that, the match itself was over out of nowhere (not that I’m complaining from one standpoint) as that small package hit in a flash. I’m guessing there was an injury in there, or perhaps they realized that a 67 year old man doesn’t need to be taking chair shots.

We’ll wrap it up there. Terry Funk is one of the longest active wrestlers in history with a career that has gone on and off for nearly fifty years. Mick Foley has said that he believes Terry Funk is the greatest wrestler ever and it’s hard to argue that he’s one of the best. To make an entirely different career like he did at his age is remarkable, especially when you consider how successful he was in the first half of his career. Find what you can of his early stuff if you want to see an entirely different side of him.

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As mentioned, this is a fairly packed show. In addition to the world title matches, we also have the Unified World Tag Team Titles on the line. I mentioned the NWA tag title tournament earlier on. For some reason, the NWA and WCW agreed to share tag team champions, meaning that the champions are carrying around four total belts. I’m still not sure why that was the case but 1992 WCW rarely made a ton of sense. Let’s get to it.

We open with an announcement that changes the entire show: Rick Rude is injured and has not only been stripped of the US Title, but also is out of the world title match tonight. Dr. Death Steve Williams, also known as Bill Watts’ idol, will be replacing him in the world title match.

Bill Watts presents Sting with a ring for winning BattleBowl last year. Not much else to say here. Oh and baseball legend Hank Aaron is in the ring for the presentation because Turner Sports thought that wrestling fans wanted to see actual businessmen in wrestling rings.

Larry Zbyszko and Missy Hyatt are doing the drawings for the matches, but the first match was announced on the Clash of the Champions special.

All tag matches are part of Lethal Lottery unless otherwise noted.

Van Hammer/Dan Spivey vs. Johnny B. Badd/Cactus Jack

Spivey is a tall blonde haired guy who isn’t great in the ring. Cactus and Van Hammer had feuded a bit back in 1991 so they get things going. As to be expected with a nutjob like Jack, he pounds away while screaming a lot. Van Hammer comes back with a clothesline and takes over using a variety of forearms and right hands. A legdrop connects but it’s quickly off to Badd. Johnny makes up for the purple trunks with a SWEET hurricanrana to slam Van Hammer’s head down into the mat. Back to Cactus for a hiptoss for no cover.

Off to Spivey who uses his powers of lumbering around the ring to take over. After some right hands and a clothesline to Jack it’s back to Van Hammer again. He gets to fight Badd, and of course by that I mean chase him around while Spivey cheats from the apron. Dan tags himself in and throws on a bearhug before it’s back to Van Hammer for a slam.

A belly to back suples gets two and it’s back to the cheater. Badd staggers Spivey with a dropkick and tags Jack in again as things pick up. Cactus screams a lot and pounds away, only to be caught by a flying shoulder for two. Badd misses an elbow drop as he tries to save, triggering a brawl with Cactus. Since Badd is a Golden Gloves champion, he knocks Badd into a rollup from Hammer for the win.

Rating: D+. This was pretty lame stuff as Spivey and Van Hammer are both big guys who aren’t all that great in the ring. Cactus was clearly something special and why he was put down in exchange for Van Hammer and Spivey is beyond me. Jack would have his day soon though as he would feud with Vader for most of 1993.

Barbarian/Kensuke Sasaki vs. Dustin Rhodes/Vader

Sasaki is a strong Japanese guy and Barbarian is a brawling Tongan wrestler who you might remember from the mid-80s shows. Why he kept jobs for so long I’m not sure, but he was regularly employed by national companies for nearly fifteen years running. Vader and Barbarian get things going, and as expected neither guy seems all that interested in selling any offense. Both guys connect with things like slams and clotheslines but neither guy stays down or even staggers for more than a few seconds.

After a few minutes of that it’s off to Rhodes, who plays the Bret Hart to Vader’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack on Barbarian. Dustin and Barbarian trade suplexes and it’s off to Sasaki for the first time. They slug it out with Sasaki taking over, only to go to the middle rope and jump into a dropkick. Back to Vader to have his way with Sasaki as the beating begins.

Vader pounds Sasaki about the head and shoulders with some shots that are far harder than they need to be. A standing splash off the middle rope has Sasaki back down, but he actually pulls off a pair of suplexes on Vader. With both guys a bit tired they both tag out and everything breaks down. Sasaki and Barbarian are thrown into each other, allowing Dustin to roll up Barbarian for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for the most part, but it was certainly entertaining at times. That standing splash to Sasaki looked awesome and some of the stuff at the beginning was ok, but for the most part this was just mindless stuff with people pounding on each other. To be fair though, Vader has a bigger match later in the night and needed to keep this short.

Barry Windham/Great Muta vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Brian Pillman

Scorpio is a high flier who brought several moves to mainstream wrestling which would become norms for wrestlers much smaller than him in future years. This should be very interesting as all four guys are very talented. Windham and Pillman are semi-regular tag partners and will be challenging for the tag titles later in the evening. Despite never being around, the fans LOVE Muta and go nuts for him as Windham starts with Scorpio.

They fight over arm control as Scorpio tries to spin out of Windham’s grip. Scorpio gets on his own hammerlock but the far bigger Barry charges into the corner for the hot tag off to Muta. The fans go even crazier for Muta as they fight over a waistlock with Scorpio doing the same thing Barry did, giving us Pillman vs. Muta in a semi-dream match. They trade dropkicks until Pillman headlocks Muta down for two. Back to Windham to face his regular partner and they chop it out before it’s right back to Muta.

Pillman counters a quick backdrop attempt into a faceplant for no cover. The former football player Pillman hits a shoulder block, only to be caught by a spinwheel kick by Muta. Pillman sends him face first into the buckle before it’s back to Scorpio for a clothesline, but Muta gets his knees up to block a splash. Windham comes back in and gets two off a legdrop and a suplex for the same. Muta comes right back in for some dropkicks and the power drive elbow for two. A hard kick sends Scorpio onto the ramp as everything breaks down. In the melee, Barry hits his lifting DDT on Scorpio to set up Muta’s moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches which could have been great if they had 20 minutes instead of seven. Muta was still incredibly popular because of how crisp he was in the ring and Pillman was one of the few people in the world who could go move for move with him. Good stuff here and I can’t imagine the other tag matches topping this given the names left.

Sting/Steve Williams vs. Jushin Thunder Liger/Erik Watts

Erik is of course Bill’s son and has no place on a show of this magnitude whatsoever. Liger and Sting start which is probably the best choice for all involved. They collide in the center of the ring with no one moving off stereo shoulders. Sting cranks on Liger’s arm and brings in Doc (Williams) who misses a charge into the corner to allow the tag to the dead meat. I mean Watts. Watts hits a quick armdrag so Williams promptly knocks his head off with a right hand. Erik fights back with a cross body but gets chopped into the corner for the tag off to Liger.

Jushin fires off all his high flying stuff with dropkicks and clotheslines but it’s like trying to knock down a small building. A HARD clothesline puts Liger down and it’s back to Sting. Liger counters a backdrop into a quick sunset flip for two and it’s back to Doc for a hot shot onto the top rope. Sting comes back in but after hitting a clothesline, his splash only hits the mat.

Williams comes back in and Liger has to face him because he knows Watts can’t do anything against either opponent. Doc chokes him on the top rope and works on the arm a bit but Liger tries a quick sleeper of all things. Williams counters with a vicious belly to back suplex and brings in Sting for a suplex of his own. Liger finally manages a faceplant on Williams to buy himself some time….but he has to tag in Watts.

Erik comes in and is booed out of the building, which should tell you about all you need to know about him. Watts looks confused so he sends Doc into the ropes, giving us the only spot that Watts is remembered for. As Doc is coming towards him, Erik jumps straight into the air and kind of pushes his feet forward. It’s called a dropkick but looks more like he was landing in the sand on a long jump in a track meet. Thankfully Doc just stumbles a bit and doesn’t go down. Watts trips him up and tries his STF but is pulled to the outside. Back in and Doc catches a charging Erik in a Stun Gun for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. At some point you have to feel sorry for Watts. The guy flat out did not have the skills to be in a spot like this and it likely wasn’t his idea to go out there. The dropkick is horrendous and proof that he needed time in a training ring instead of a regular one, but again it’s not his fault that he’s out there in a national promotion.

To recap, we have Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Dustin Rhodes, Vader, Great Muta, Barry Windham, Sting and Jushin Thunder Liger in BattleBowl.

We get a preview of Chono vs. Muta from….Larry Zbyszko? That is one of the oddest choices they could have picked and it’s more bizarre than informative.

NWA World Title: Great Muta vs. Masahiro Chono

Chono is defending and they have the big gold belt back now. The champion pounds away to start and kicks Muta in the side of the head for good measure. They head to the mat with Chono taking over via a headscissors followed by an enziguri to send Chono to the floor. Back in and they fight over a top wristlock before Muta bails to the floor again. They go to a test of strength and take it to the mat where Muta grabs a full nelson which transitions into an abdominal stretch.

Now Chono counters into an abdominal stretch of his own. The fans are now starting to boo so Muta reverses into an armbar on the mat. Chono shifts into one of his own as Jim Ross tries to defend this boring match by calling it methodical. Now Muta takes over with a figure four headscissors. Back up and Chono throws him to the floor as this just keeps going.

Back in and Chono puts on an armbar, which is probably the worst thing that could happen here. Muta tries to flip out but the champion doesn’t let go of the hold. Chono goes up to but gets caught in a superplex to finally wake up the crowd a bit. Off to a half crab by the challenger (Jesse: “Looks like a Hiroshima crab.”) before he switches over to an Indian Deathlock with a bridge into a chinlock.

Muta finally lets go and gets caught in a suplex, only to have Muta kicks him out to the floor. How this has been going on for over ten minutes is beyond me. The handspring elbow crushes Chono into the corner so he goes up top for the moonsault, only to have to land on his feet and hurt his knee coming down. They both try dropkicks and crash to the mat to keep this very boring. Back up and Muta counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two and a nice reaction for the kickout. Muta misses a dropkick though, allowing Chono to put on his STF for the win.

Rating: F. This was absolutely horrible. They were clearly in a very slow motion the entire time and never got going whatsoever. The ending came out of nowhere with Chono just throwing on a hold on the knee which barely seemed hurt at all. The unofficial story is that Watts told them to keep it slow so as not to show up the WCW guys, which would explain a lot here. Muta won the title about a week later, so I have no idea why he lost here.

Jim Ross talks about a tournament for the vacant US Title but Rude interrupts and complains about having the title stripped from him. He swears to be back and to take the US and world titles.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Steve Williams

Ron is defending and JR is already spouting off football stats as both of these guys were NCAA lineman. Jesse goes on a rant about how Rude has been ripped off before we get going. Doc requests and receives a handshake with a surprising lack of attacking after. Apparently Ron is wrestling with a shoulder injury. The champion grabs a headlock to slow Doc down for a bit before they both hit the ropes and collide. No one moves anywhere so they get in a three point stance, but Simmons proves that Florida State is smarter than Oklahoma by jumping over Doc and clotheslining him down.

Simmons puts on an armbar but Williams rolls to the floor. Back in and Williams pulls Simmons’ limited hair to escape. Ron is annoyed so he cranks on the arm even more. The champ pounds on the arm even more and gets annoyed when Doc shoves him. They slug it out with Simmons taking over and going back to the armbar. Now Simmons goes up top but Williams just steps to the side, sending Ron crashing down to the mat.

Williams goes after Simmons’ leg as this match continues to be in slow motion. Off to a half crab by Doc with almost no torque on it at all. A chop block puts Simmons down again and Williams fires off kicks to the back of the leg. Doc puts on a leg bar before getting up for another slugout. Simmons keeps trying to fight back but shots to the knee keep bringing him down. A clothesline gets two for Williams as this match keeps plodding along.

Back to another weak leglock as Doc kicks away at the leg. A slam puts Ron down again and there’s another chop block for good measure. It works so well that Doc hits another. He tries a third but Ron catches him with a kick coming in to take over. The spinebuster puts Williams down and Ron takes him down with some shots to Williams’ knee. They fight to the floor and slug it out again with both guys getting counted out for a very lame ending.

Rating: D. The problem here is there was no reason at all for these two to be fighting. Williams is there because Rude couldn’t go, but Rude had been built up as the real challenge for months on end. The leg work was decent enough but it didn’t go anywhere with the ending having nothing to do with the leg at all. Also I have no idea why Williams was put in here, as Vader would win the world title a mere 48 hours after this show.

Post match the decision is changed to Doc being disqualified for attacking Simmons, which changes absolutely nothing at all.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Brian Pillman vs. Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat

Windham used to be tag champions with Dustin Rhodes but lost the belts to Steamboat and Douglas a few months ago. Pillman turned heel due to frustration with only being Light Heavyweight Champion and hooked up with Windham soon thereafter. A few weeks ago Barry beat the tar out of both champions with a chair so Steamboat and Douglas want revenge. Douglas and Pillman start things off as Jesse’s mind is blown hearing about Shane holding a masters degree. A right hand puts Pillman down and more of them break up Pillman’s sunset flip attempt.

Brian, tired of losing the wrestling portion of the match, rakes Shane’s eyes to take over. Shane dropkicks him to the floor as Steamboat comes in for a double dropkick on Barry. Pillman bails to the floor as the champions double backdrop Windham. Barry gets the tag and wants Steamboat all to himself. A hard chop puts Barry down and a suplex does the same. Steamboat slows Barry down with a front facelock and a snapmare before bringing Shane back in.

Douglas puts Barry in a chinlock but Windham picks Shane up and suplexes out of it. Back to Steamboat for a neck snap on Barry and a right hand to Pillman. All champions so far. A clothesline puts Barry on the floor and Steamboat slams him on the wooden floor for good measure. Barry climbs up onto the ramp so Shane slams him down again just because he’s not a nice person. Ricky backdrops Barry into the ring and gets two off a neckbreaker. Back to Shane for another chinlock as Barry is trying to survive.

Windham FINALLY gets something going with a jawbreaker on Shane, allowing for the tag off to Brian. A facejam puts Shane down but a dropkick sends Pillman out to the floor and possibly into the barricade. Back in and Shane goes up top, but a distraction by Windham allows Brian to dropkick him off the top and out to the floor. Barry adds a big lariat for good measure before coming in legally and headbutting Shane down. A boot to Shane’s chest stops his comeback bid and Brian gets in some cheating for good measure.

Brian comes back in legally and chops Douglas down but Shane comes back with some right hands of his own. Pillman trips him up though and it’s right back to Windham, who stomps on Shane and throws him through the ropes and into the barricade to keep the champions in trouble. Steamboat goes to the floor to check on his partner but also blasts Windham in the back with a chair. It’s still not enough for the tag to Ricky though as Pillman suplexes Shane down.

Barry comes in off the top with a punch to Shane’s face and a suplex for two. Ross is losing his mind over the beating that Shane is taking. A splash gets two for Brian and Steamboat charges in, allowing the challengers to double team Shane in the corner. Barry tries another suplex, but this time Douglas counters into one of his own. Shane fires off one last right hand before falling backwards into the tag to Steamboat.

The Dragon (Steamboat) cleans house with slams for both guys but he walks into a powerslam from Barry to stop the comeback cold. A belly to back suplex puts Ricky down again and it’s off to Pillman, who illegally throws Steamboat over the top to the floor. The referee missed it though due to Shane, who also causes the referee to miss Windham throwing Steamboat into the post.

Back in and Steamboat chops it out with Pillman but gets caught in a headscissors for two. Windham comes in again with a top rope forearm to Ricky’s ribs, causing Ricky to….lecture him? Steamboat points his finger in Windham’s face and says something to him which confuses Barry. Windham goes up top but misses a right hand, allowing Steamboat to hit a superkick and a facejam to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Shane vs. Pillman with Douglas cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Steamboat cross bodies Windham onto the ramp. Shane hits his belly to belly suplex in Brian for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. Really awesome tag match here with all four guys working very hard to make everyone look good out there. Steamboat and Douglas would hold the belts until March, when Windham had to be replaced by Steve Austin due to an injury. Austin and Pillman proved to be a better team and took the belts, leading to a string of classic rematches. This was very good stuff though and match of the night by far to this point.

We recap Sting vs. Vader’s paths to the King of Cable Tournament final. That was always a really bad name for a tournament, because most people assumed it meant cable TV. In reality, the name was referring to the cables that made the ring ropes. Vader tried to hurt Sting when he found out they would be in the finals, so Sting broke a 2×4 over Vader’s back. These two have a LONG history together which would continue on for years after this.

In case you’re curious, here are the tournament brackets:

Rick Rude vs. Barry Windham
Sting vs. Brian Pillman
Vader vs. Tony Atlas
Dustin Rhodes vs. Barbarian

Rick Rude vs. Sting
Vader vs. Dustin Rhodes

King of Cable Finals: Sting vs. Vader

This is officially for a trophy but for these two it’s all about bragging rights and revenge. Sting has said that his battle plan coming in was to make Vader run out of gas. The problem with that is you have to survive Vader’s initial onslaught. Sting fires off some punches to start and Vader just shakes his head at him. Vader easily slams Sting down, much to his manager Harley Race’s approval. Sting gets up and walks int another slam, this time with just one arm.

That doesn’t work so Sting just charges at Vader, only to get his head knocked off by a clothesline. Sting is a lot of things, but intelligent never was one of them. Vader easily gorilla presses him up and drops Sting throat first on the top rope. Sting bails to the floor as he’s in BIG trouble early on. Back in and Vader pounds away, but Sting hits the ropes and then hits a running flipping body attack to take Vader down. A big boot puts Vader down again and Sting shows his own freakish strength by tossing Vader over his head in a German suplex.

A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Vader is suddenly reeling. Sting gets back in and dives over the top onto Vader and Race to put both guys down again. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Vader is down on the floor as Sting calmly waits in the ring. Back in and Vader is all ticked off, so he pounds away on Sting with some HARD shots to the face and body. A splash misses in the corner though, allowing Sting to load up the Stinger Splash. Vader is ready though and gets his boot up, which collides with Sting’s face with a sick smacking sound.

Sting will have none of that though and kicks Vader in the face twice before DDTing Vader down. In an impressive strength display, Sting puts Vader on top and DDTs him off the top for two. There’s the Scorpion Deathlock but Vader quickly gets to the rope. Vader bails to the floor for a walk, so Sting follows with a Stinger Splash, only to hit the railing. For those of you keeping track of his career average on that move, Sting has probably tried it 1983 times and has hit maybe two of them. Like I said, he’s not that bright sometimes.

Back in and Vader is stalking Sting like a vulture, hitting a big splash in the corner to crush Sting. A clothesline gets two for Vader and he follows it up with some HARD right hands to the jaw. Vader drops Sting with a belly to back suplex and another splash which only gets two. The big man is getting very frustrated so he puts on a sloppy looking chinlock. He pulls back and DRILS Sting in the face with a crossface shot for two. Sting blocks a clothesline and gets a quick backslide for two but he can’t follow up.

Sting tries a sunset flip but has to roll away when Vader tries to drop down on his chest. Vader pops back up and starts blasting Sting in the face and ribs with JR wanting the match to be stopped. Sting counters a headlock with a belly to back suplex but he’s so spent that Vader covers him for two. Back up again and Vader just unloads on Sting in the corner, but most of the shots are hitting Sting’s forearms. Sting keeps his arms up for defense so Vader puts him on top for a superplex. Ever the hero, Sting pokes him in the eyes to drop Vader, but Sting is so spent that he just falls to the mat.

Vader puts him in the corner and goes off with even more rights and lefts, but Sting says bring it on. Vader’s shots are noticeably getting weaker and weaker and Sting is getting that adrenaline rush of his. A big right hand staggers Vader and three more drop the monster.

Sting lifts him up and drops Vader down with a Samoan drop, followed by a top rope splash for two. Now Sting isn’t sure what to do. He goes after Race on the apron, allowing Vader to get in a clothesline in the corner. Vader hits a chokeslam and goes up for a middle rope splash. He doesn’t cover though and goes up again, only to have Sting catch him in a powerslam and dive on top for the pin and the tournament.

Rating: A. This was an absolute war and it told a great story, as these two always did. It’s a great David vs. Goliath story….if David was 6’3 and had his face painted blue and white. Sting knew that he had to survive Vader long enough and challenge him to a fight, which he knew Vader would put everything he had into. The power displayed by Sting here was insane and words cannot accurately describe how hard Vader was hitting him. These two were seemingly incapable of having anything but a great match, so WCW just let them fight for about two and a half years straight. This is an excellent match and well worth seeing.

Sting is presented with his trophy.

NFL Hall of Famer Paul Hornung is here and talks about what winning the Super Bowl ring means. The idea is to compare it to the BattleBowl ring but it doesn’t quite work as well as they would like. Gee, it’s certainly a great idea to talk to a football player with a ring. It’s not like one of the most popular wrestlers in the world was presented with one earlier in the night or anything.

BattleBowl

Sting, Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Steve Williams, Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Barry Windham, Great Muta

It’s an eight man battle royal for the ring. This is the third match of the night for five guys, giving Rhodes, Hammer and Spivey an advantage. Sting is also defending champion remember. He and Vader are exhausted as their match ended about five minutes earlier, so they fight on the ramp instead of getting in the ring. Sting finally gets inside but Vader dives over the top to get at Sting again.

Vader holds Sting so that Barry can pound away on him as everyone else just fights by the ropes. The match slows down a lot as there’s really no reason for most of these people to be fighting each other. Windham and Rhodes hate each other but that’s about it. Spivey and Windham try to put Sting out but Muta, Sting’s longtime rival, makes the save for no apparent reason. Now Vader saves Williams and starts choking Rhodes in the corner.

Everyone is exhausted so the action in the match pretty much stops. Rhodes dumps Windham to the ramp which doesn’t count apparently. Doc dumps out Van Hammer as Rhodes bulldogs Windham on the ramp. Now to add to the confusion, Sting drops Spivey onto the ramp and that counts as an elimination. Barry is back in now but he can barely stand up at this point. Vader hits a running clothesline on Sting, knocking both guys out to the ramp for a double elimination.

So we’re down to Muta, Rhodes, Windham and Doc, making for a rather dull ending to the match. Rhodes pounds on Barry due to old hatred while Doc beats on Muta due to a lack of anyone else to fight. Muta comes back with a pair of kicks on Williams as Barry is bleeding from the nose. Barry comes back with some shots to Dustin’s back as this is going VERY slowly. Windham goes up but gets taken down by Rhodes and DDT’d for good measure. Dustin and Doc go at it and put each other out maybe ten seconds later.

The fans are all behind Muta but Barry takes over and rams Muta into the corner. A quick suplex puts the Great one down and it’s time for Barry to throw him out. Muta hangs on so Barry suplexes him down again. Barry hits his superplex finisher and throws Muta out, but like any stupid heel he doesn’t pay enough attention, and Muta skins the cat to get back inside. A pair of dropkicks send Barry out and Muta wins BattleBowl.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously what else do you want me to say here? It’s a battle royal for the sake of a ring with about three people the fans cared about in the slightest. Muta winning does very little for anyone as he had one more televised WCW match in the next year, which would be losing the NWA World Title to Windham in February. On top of that this was very boring as everyone had nothing left and spent most of the match laying on the ropes. Nothing to see here but the fans liked Muta winning at least.

Muta nearly jumps out of his skin when the fireworks go off.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. First of all, three of the first four tag matches are pretty much worthless. After that we have two lame world title matches to keep the show down even more. Then we have a very good tag match and an excellent Sting vs. Vader match followed by a lame battle royal. At the end of the day there’s more bad here than good, but the parts that are good are REALLY good.

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Somebody call Brodus Clay’s Mama. It’s Ernest Miller.

Glacier/Ernest Miller vs. High Voltage

This is Miller’s debut. Rage and Kaos jump the karate guys from behind and are immediately kicked to the floor. Glacier and Kaos start things off but Rage comes in with a springboard bulldog. High Voltage hits a double gorilla press but Glacier comes back with strikes. Mortis, Wrath and Vandenberg are watching from the stage. Miller comes in and kicks a lot before hitting something like Trouble in Paradise from the top rope for the pin. Standard debut match.

Their first and definitely most prominent feud was against Mortis and Wrath, with their big showdown taking place at Bash at the Beach 1997.

Mortis/Wrath vs. Ernest Miller/Glacier

These four seemingly had more matches on PPV than I can count. Glacier is all ticked off to start and spears down Mortis so he can pound on him. He looks at Wrath and freezes him somehow so that Miller can hit a springboard dropkick to take the big man down. Off to Miller vs. Wrath now as we’re told Miller played for the Falcons and Patriots. I can’t find any evidence of this anywhere else and I’ve never heard of it otherwise. Why does that not shock me?

Miller fires off some kicks but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a middle rope elbow misses. Glacier comes in and hits a double dropkick with Miller to Wrath for two. Glacier goes to the floor where Mortis beats him up a bit. Wrath hits a pretty nice running somersault off the apron to take out the ice enthusiast. He finds a chair to put against Glacier’s head so Mortis can kick the chair into Glacier’s head into the post.

Back inside now for Glacier vs. Mortis. Heenan says there’s something between these two in the past but Glacier doesn’t want to go into what it is. Wrath comes back in and they hit Beer Money’s DWI for two. ROH fans will like this as Wrath throws on a Billy Goat’s Curse and Mortis drops a leg at the same time.

Mortis misses a moonsault and Miller comes in illegally to help Glacier. Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) takes out both heels. Everything breaks down and Glacier gets a DDT to put Mortis down for a delayed too. James Vandenberg, the manager of Mortis/Wrath puts a chain on Mortis’ foot so a kick to the chest ends this for Glacier’s first loss.

Rating: B-. Better match than you would expect here and I liked it for the most part. Mortis is more commonly known as Kanyon and he can do some interesting stuff. Wrath was shockingly good here too and is a guy I’ve always liked a little so that’s a nice perk. Also, notice how much better it is with guys to compliment the martial arts guys. You get a much better match.

Miller and Mortis had a singles match on Nitro, October 6, 1997.

Ernest Miller vs. Mortis

Now here’s a fresh match. Miller takes over with a quick snapmare and a kick to the face for two. Ernest expands his moveset even further by going up top, only to get crotched by James Vanderberg. A top rope Fameasser gets two for the guy in a mask (Mortis) and he even uses the rope for good measure. It’s time for kicks because what would these two be without a lot of kicks?

Mortis keeps being EVIL by throwing Miller over the top rope while the referee is distracted. How EVIL can he get? Apparently Jackie is getting a TV Title shot at Halloween Havoc. A kind of Russian legsweep gets two for the EVIL one before he breaks up a sunset flip with a right hand. Miller rolls away from a top rope splash though and hits two kicks (I’m as shocked as you are), one being from the top, for the pin.

Rating: D. It would take Miller basically going crazy before he got interesting which makes these earlier matches pretty hard to sit through. The guy just wasn’t interesting as you can only take “karate guy” so far as a gimmick. Mortis continues to impress with that wide variety of offense he has. Oh and he’s EVIL so that helps.

When this character stopped working for the most part because he wasn’t all that interesting, the solution became to have Miller fight other karate guys, like Jerry Flynn, who he fought on June 1, 1998’s Nitro.

Jerry Flynn vs. Ernest Miller

Miller starts with a backdrop but can’t hit a few spin kicks to the face. Off to an armbar on Jerry but Flynn comes back with some kicks in the corner. Now it’s Flynn with an armbar followed by some kicks to the arm but Miller comes back with a fireman’s carry powerslam. The latest version of the Feliner (in this case Kofi Kingston’s Trouble in Paradise) misses by about eight inches but it’s enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D-. This is the same problem you always have with the guys in these matches: just because they can throw kicks doesn’t make them interesting. Jerry Flynn is an uninteresting of a wrestler as you’ll ever see and Miller was only starting to become competent in the ring at this point.

Miller finally started to figure it out when he became a cocky heel who bought his own hype as a three time World Karate Champion. Here’s an example of that on Nitro from January 11, 1999 as part of his long and not that interesting feud with Perry Saturn.

The Cat vs. Perry Saturn

Scott Dickinson is referee because this story won’t die. Miller tries a sneak attack to start but gets suplexed down and hammered on in the corner. A ticked off Saturn pounds away with right hands but Dickinson physically pulls him off. The announcers try to tell us a history between Saturn and Dickinson but they lose me as soon as I remember it’s about a mostly bald referee.

Miller kicks him in the leg and poses a lot before we hit the chinlock. A dropkick to the knee puts Perry down again (Tony calls it a knee to the ribs because he’s stupid in 1999) but Saturn comes back with a quick suplex. He hits a frog splash but Dickinson is with Sonny Onoo, allowing Jericho to come in and hit Saturn with a shovel. It knocks Saturn into Dickinson though and that’s a DQ.

Rating: D. Did Saturn run over Bischoff’s dog or something? He’s plummeted through the floor since the biggest push of his career and it seems like it’s just going further and further. I don’t know why I’m surprised, but I don’t see why the Dickinson stuff is needed at all. This same story could be told with just Jericho.

Miller next had a feud with Scott Norton for no apparent reason and lost most of the early matches. They had a showdown scheduled for Great American Bash 1999.

Ernest Miller vs. Scott Norton

This isn’t even good enough for Nitro. Apparently it is as this is the fourth or fifth match in a feud. Norton won a bunch to start and then Miller hit him with a crowbar to get the win. And never mind as for some reason, Horace Freaking Hogan comes out and says that since Cat (Miller) hit him on Monday also, Horace, who is in the NWO, gets the shot.

Ernest Miller vs. Horace Hogan

Yes, this match is actually happening. Horace is Hogan’s nephew and a decent looking power guy. He takes over to start but Miller gets in a kick to the face to take over. Now he stands around. Horace gets sent to the floor and Sonny Onoo kicks him a few times. The crowd is DEAD. Horace takes him down with a big boot and a splash gets two. Miller gets dumped to the floor where Onoo loads up the red shoe out of a briefcase. A superkick with it ends this.

Rating: F. Horace Hogan was on a PPV. I don’t think I need to explain why this is a failure.

Soon after this, Miller would FINALLY get what he was looking for and become an over the top James Brown style character known as The Cat. He also turned face and rose up the card, including being in the tournament for the vacant US Title at Spring Stampede 2000.

US Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Mike Awesome vs. Ernest Miller

This is six days after Awesome, still ECW Champion at the time, ran in on Nitro after jumping ship. Bigelow jumps Awesome and has taken Miller’s spot it seems. Well sure why not. Big dive to the floor takes Bigelow out and then dumps him into the crowd. Awesome busts out an Ahmed Johnson style dive over the railing as the brawl keeps going. Top rope clothesline back inside gets two. Bigelow wakes up and slams Awesome down and adds the headbutt for no cover. Here’s Miller who kicks Bigelow in the head and dances a bit. Awesome kills him with a powerbomb and frog splash to advance.

Rating: D. The brawling was decent and Awesome was incredible as usual but the whole Bigelow/Miller thing was totally pointless. Also it makes no sense as either guy not named Awesome should have been disqualified for interference but whatever. This was nothing interesting but was there to have Awesome get pushed harder, which is fine.

Miller would get some more high profile matches later on, including this one from New Blood Rising.

Great Muta vs. Ernest Miller

Yeah because this is worth paying to see. Muta of course has generic Asian music. The Filthy Animals guarantee Cat will win this which means interference of course. We’ve had interference in the first match already so why not go two for two? Muta works on the arm while Tony talks about how this isn’t about wrestling but about winning. I wonder how much of that line was real and how much was scripted.

Muta was one of those guys that came back every now and then and we were supposed to be impressed for no apparent reason. He never had a storyline of note other than he’s Great Muta so you should like him. And here comes Tygress for no apparent reason. Cat does nothing but kick and is dominating Muta. The far more talented guy gets an ankle hold and takes over.

The Moonsault misses though and Cat takes the mist. Tygress gets a chair shot to Muta for two. Fans are dead for this mind you. Cat kicks Muta a lot and then a spin kick ends it. This was totally pointless.

Rating: D. Tygress looked good. That’s about all this has going for it otherwise. Cat was a guy that they wanted to make into something but I have no idea why. Muta was a special attraction so they have him go down like this. It makes perfect sense right? This was just a way to kill time and it was just bad.

We’ll head to Germany for a PPV called Millennium Final with Miller facing Mike Sanders, who he feuded with for a long stretch of the end of 2000.

Ernest Miller vs. Mike Sanders

This is for the Commissionership, which of course makes sense in a major company: have two men fight to see who the boss is. This was another of the mindlessly dumb feuds they had over who got to be boss like 18 or whatever. I think Sanders is commissioner coming in here. And it’s a two minute match with the Cat winning with a spinkick. I hated these things back then and I hate them now.

Rating: N/A. It’s stupid so it must be WCW. Miller was a guy that I never got the appeal of so he kept getting pushed further and further up the card. I was surprised he never won the world title because it would have failed that much better.

Next up was a feud with Shane Douglas which was somehow related to their respective women (Miller’s Miss Jones and Shane’s Torrie Wilson). From Mayhem 2000.

Shane Douglas vs. Ernest Miller

Shane says he’s not afraid of Miller. Miller says he’s going to twist Shane apart. Ms. Jones and Torrie are here at least so we have them to look at. They hit the floor almost immediately and are on the table. Madden got kicked in the throat apparently and Stevie is losing it over that. Now he cheers against Miller the whole time and is very annoying. Well at least Torrie’s back is to the ring and she has a nice figure. Franchise keeps using the neck crank which looks awful even for a neck crank.

A sunset flip is blocked by Miller who just has to throw in a crotch chop for the fun of it I guess. The crowd is DEAD here. Miller gets the Feliner out of nowhere and takes forever to cover, resulting in two. The girls go at it a bit which allows Shane to get a chain out of his tights which gets two. The referee shoves Shane into a rollup for two. And then Ms. Jones slips Cat a shoe from a briefcase to hit Shane with it for the win. You know, instead of the briefcase.

Rating: D. Shane in WCW sucked. Miller sucked period. The only good stuff in this match was the hotness of the women. Outside of that there was absolutely nothing special here, yet this match managed to get eight minutes of PPV time. Did I mention this show had 12 matches? This match gets eight minutes of time….why? Did ANYONE want to see these two fight? Let the girls fight if nothing else. Horrible match.

With WCW going out of business soon after this, Miller went to the WWA and was on their Revolution PPV.

West Hollywood Blondes vs. Rick Steiner/Ernest Miller

Miller says if they lose to the girly men, he’ll kiss Madden in a fat area. Since they wasted so much time with Bret talking about hockey, Larry wasting our time, and SABU GETTING TWENTY FIVE MINUTES TOTAL, this lasts a minute with Miller kicking Lenny in the head for the pin.

Miller would eventually be brought into WWE for a handful of matches. Here’s one of them from Smackdown on February 5, 2004.

Tajiri vs. Ernest Miller

Miller has his awesome afroed ring announcer Lamont to bring him out. This is due to Tajiri attacking Lamont last week after Miller was eliminated from a battle royal. Tajiri has Akido and Sakoda with him here. Miller hits his dancing chops to take over but gets kicked to the ropes as Tajiri seems to be loading up the mist. A big chop from Tajiri gets two and he elbows Miller in the head for good measure. The Tarantula has Miller in even more trouble but he counters a big kick with a rollup for the pin out of nowhere.

So…..yeah Miller kind of sucked. He just wasn’t all that great in the ring and relied WAY too much on the kicking. However, he could talk people into caring about him and that’s more important than being able to work a few different kinds of suplexes. No he wasn’t going to last long term, but he did a lot of good things in a goofy time for WCW. He’s also a good illustration of the difference between a gimmick (karate guy) and a character (over the top James Brown style guy). The former isn’t going to last more than a few months while the second can make someone more interesting than they have any right to be.

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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2240046/?ref_=nv_sr_1

So unlike in the major companies, we’ve had 4 months since the last PPV. Since then, Raven is gone and Dreamer is either the top face or the second biggest face in the company. He’s facing Jerry Lawler tonight in a match that’s more or less based off a mini invasion that the WWF was doing.

Other than that we’ve got a rematch from the Night the Line Was Crossed as it’s a three way dance with Funk, Douglas and Sabu, the current champion, having beaten Funk for the title from Funk about a week before. Why they bothered with that is beyond me but then again it’s ECW so there we are. Other than that, it’s a random assortment of matches that I’m sure aren’t likely to be explained, which isn’t Joey’s fault per se. Let’s get to it.

We of course start in the ring with Joey and the lighting is AWFUL. I mean you can barely see the crowd other than the first maybe 10 rows. What’s that they’re chanting? I can’t quite make it out. This should be interesting as they’re out of their comfort zone in New England. He runs down the card, which makes little sense as anyone that’s bought the show already likely knows the card already, but then again what do I know?

Only Funk gets anything close to a pop when mentioned. Lawler gets MAD heat. Joey is about to talk about Dreamer when he’s cut off by the music of Rick Rude. He clearly says son of a female dog when it starts. Rude sold out apparently. OH I remember this. It’s the time where he showed up on Raw and ECW and soon on Nitro as he jumped from WWF and appeared on both shows in one night as Raw was taped.

He had been on Hardcore TV the night before, so in 24 hours he appeared on all three shows. That’s pretty freaking cool. Rude had recently helped WWF guys beat ECW guys at Heatwave so no one likes him at all. Rude introduces Candido for the TV Title match. Yeah that was really useful Rick.

TV Title: Chris Candido vs. Taz

Something tells me I know the ending this already. Todd Gordon, the ECW Commissioner comes down and says Rude has to leave because he’s not a licensed manager. So let me get this straight. You can throw people through burning tables. You can have your arm split open and tape it back together. You can get tied together in barbed wire. You can have a lesbian angle on nationally syndicated television. All of that’s ok.

However, if you want to stand by the ring and cheer someone on, you need to have permission. I love making fun of wrestling. We go to the intro with the theme song, which I’ve never gotten why they do this after the show actually starts. It’s just very odd. We get a wide shot of the arena and you can’t see ANYTHING. Apparently this is a main event. Well ok then. The big match introductions never get old if nothing else. I have to give Taz this: he was perfect at what he did.

It’s so odd to see him being goofy like he is now and then here see him be more or less a killing machine. We get a nice TAZ IS GONNA KILL YOU chant. I thought TNA and ROH were supposed to be an alternative. They stole stuff from ECW too apparently so there we are. They mention Taz is 29 here.

That’s just weird to hear for some reason. He seems older than that but the same age now if that makes sense. They do a great mat wrestling sequence and submission exchange that I’m into. You can see the shadows on the mat. That’s just pitiful. An issue I have with referees in ECW: SLOW DOWN THE COUNTS. Watch an ECW match and they count as fast as they possibly can. It’s insane.

Candido works the neck which makes sense here if nothing else as this is where Taz broke his neck a few years ago. That’s rather smart and some nice continuity which you hardly ever get from the big two today. We hit the floor for a bit but the only weapons use would be a few slams into the railing which I’d hardly classify as weapons use. I like that.

A nice looking diving headbutt gets two as Candido is in control here. He sends Taz into the corner to set up the top rope powerbomb which was his finisher at this time. I like the set up for it also as he whips him in and Taz stays there. That’s not entirely contrived.

Actually yeah it is as any wrestler usually lands back first there and why would Taz do it differently, knowing what Candido finishes with? Eh, either way he counters with a nice suplex (shocking). After Taz goes suplex insane, he sits on the second rope with Candido in control somehow, but as Chris poses, the champ gives the throat slit and locks on the Tazmission for the tap out.

Rating: A-. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! If this was what ECW was like most of the time, I’d be a huge fan. This was hard hitting, fast paced, exciting stuff. Above all else though: THEY WRESTLED. This wasn’t about weapons and chairs and insanity. This was about two guys out there using their own talents and abilities to get something good doing and it worked to perfection. It would have been a higher grade with fewer powerbombs and more time, but still this was great.

Joey plugs their next PPV, and says you should come see it live, as a lot of the time stuff happens before they go on the air. Like tonight for example, the Insane Clown Posse showed up to perform, but the then heel RVD and Sabu showed up and beat the tar out of them. I always liked Van Dam.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Spike Dudley

This is a revenge match apparently. Spike is a bit different than the one that you see most of the time, as he’s Little Spike Dudley. He sees “colors” and wears tie dye. I think you get the joke. He was made into the Giant Killer after beating Bigelow on TV a week prior to this. The 80s explode here as Bigelow comes out to Welcome to the Jungle and Spike comes out to Highway to Hell.

Either way they’re both great bands and songs so there we are. Bigelow really was a big coup for ECW as he was a freaking machine that was quite good when he was on his game. He was the guy that threw Spike into the crowd and they body surfed him around the arena in one of ECW’s signature moments. After a splash maybe a minute into the match, Bigelow does a little dance which amuses me.

The fans keep chanting over here, as in where they want him to throw Spike. I have to give the fans this: they are very loyal. After hitting some decent little offense (like anything he could do is big) Spike takes one of the best powerbombs I’ve ever seen. That looked AWESOME.

In another great spot, Spike is thrown from the ring into about the 3rd row. That’s just impressive. This is a flat out crushing. It’s beyond a squash. Another great looking piledriver leads to the moonsault for the academic pin. That ring is really small. Spike bled a lot in there.

Rating: N/A. It was a really long squash. What can I give it as a legit grade? There were some painful looking spots in there and Bigelow looked awesome so all is right I guess.

We go back to the thing from before the show with the ICP where we see Sandman who was injured by RVD and Sabu and couldn’t wrestle. He beat on them a bit and then they beat him down. That’s traditional ECW if I’ve ever heard of it. I have no idea if the fans can see this as they have no video screens that I know of.

Rob Van Dam vs. Al Snow

This is Monday Night Rules, meaning it’s a traditional wrestling match. Snow wasn’t quite over yet though as he was little more than a former tag jobber as far as the mainstream goes. He would find Head soon enough though, which would be more than enough to get him over, which is putting it mildly. He gets almost no reaction here though.

RVD is one of the top heels here as he had been showing up on Raw and calling himself Mr. Monday Night. He was using what would become known as Starship Pain as his finisher there for no apparent reason. He gets mild heat as he’s just so popular for his in ring ability. Snow gets some boos but more or less it’s indifference. Head was the best thing that ever happened to him.

This starts off fast like the other match did and I’m perfectly fine with that. Joey makes an unintended joke as he points out that there are no mats. That’s true, but only WCW, the company they wanted to be completely different from, did that as a national company. They go to the floor and stay there longer in the Monday Night Rules match than they did in the traditiona ECW rules match.

That makes perfect sense right? Still though, that’s fine as they keep it between themselves with the only weapons being used being the guard rail. Like I said, I’d hardly even call that a weapon. Snow puts Van Dam against the apron on the floor and walks up the entry way before getting a running start for a clothesline. Ok, that’s fine.

What’s not fine is Joey asking if we saw that. NO YOU DIPSTICK WE DIDN’T BECAUSE THE CAMERA WAS ON VAN DAM. Will you think for like two seconds please? Back in the ring, Snow gets taken down and actually kicks out of the Frog Splash. That’s very surprising and gets a just barely over minimal reaction. We hit the floor and break out our first chair of the show, in a match under Monday Night Rules.

I love these absurd rules and the like. Snow does another of the long runs for a clothesline but gets a chair pelted into his face, in clear view of the referee, who does nothing but keep the ten count going. We go back into the ring now after some more chair stuff where RVD gets two. The chair stuff was minimal, but at least it made a bit more sense. We get a LOUD Van Dam chant just before the Van Daminator gets the pin.

Rating: B. This was good, although not as good as the first match. The Monday Night Rules thing was just stupid and pointless but whatever. I’m ok with the chair here because the focus of the match was still on the wrestling and in ring action which is the most important part of the show. Both of these guys would get far bigger over the next year or so, but this was pretty solid stuff, at least in theory.

In a WEIRD segment, we go to the EXTREME CHOPPER in the sky, following the Sandman’s ambulance. Ok, let me make sure have this straight. BEFORE the show started, so at least an hour ago, Sandman was put into an ambulance and taken away.

He has since taken over the ambulance and is now driving around the city, trying to find the War Memorial. It should be noted that apparently this is news worth following, despite him not wrestling tonight. Also, WHEN DID ECW GET A HELICOPTER??? I think it might actually be legit, but my guess is it’s somehow faked. Whatever.

We get a promo from Lawler, who says he was talking to Vince who says that this is a bad day in his career for having to go and do this himself. He says he’s not here alone. Apparently Taker is cheering him on. For some reason I don’t buy that. Apparently Bret Hart is cheering for him. That doesn’t sound right either. Finally, Austin apparently wants to be there too. All of them want him to use their finishers, which strikes me as very odd but whatever.

ECW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Gangstas

The Dudleys get no intro again. They’re joined by Big Dick Dudley, Sign Guy Dudley, Joel Gertner, and Jenna Jameson. Joel talks about how tonight….wait a minute. JENNA FREAKING JAMESON??? HOW DID THEY GET HER??? That makes little sense but whatever as she looks epic. Joey knows her before anyone introduces her. That’s not going to go over well at all methinks (stolen from X).

Anyway, Joel does the really long intro, including a great line of “One fall, fifteen minute time limit, your referee in charge is bald.” That’s a lot better than it sounds. Jenna looks like she’s having fun, which is far more than Pam Anderson could do. The Gangstas aren’t here tonight apparently, so the Dudleys win by forfeit. Instead we get this.

ECW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. PG-13

The challengers are more commonly known as the white guys from the Nation of Domination. They were like 15 time tag champion in Memphis so whatever. They’re white rappers with the same amount of talent for wrestling that Vanilla Ice had at rapping. They’ve been talking all of ten seconds and I already hate them. They’re naturally the heels since they’re from Lawler’s company.

The one that talks is trying to be Jerry Lawler and it’s just failing all around. Oh and everyone wants to screw Jenna, and who can blame them? They must want to die from the clap or something like that. So after 8 minutes of intros we start with D-Von against Wolfie D. I wonder if he’s related to Desmond Wolf. You can shoot me at the end of the review. His partner is named JC Ice.

That sums them up as well as anything I can say. We get our first sexual assault on Jenna as JC hits the floor to kiss her. Ok correction: PG-13 aren’t bad. They’re just REALLY annoying. I really want to just smack the tar out of both of them 2 minutes into the match.

In an amusing spot, Bubba has one of the white guys in his evil clutches but as he’s handing him to D-Von for some cheating, JC reverses it to give Bubba’s arm to D-Von, who keeps ramming it over his shoulder while all of his managers try to get his attention. Once he finally gets the point he’s slammed the arm down about 9 times, drawing him a massive YOU F’D UP chant.

Actually, the Dudleys are the heels here, which is a tribute to their heel drawing abilities. The Dudleys are FAR bigger than the other guys. It’s really funny looking. Jenna looks incredible. Every time she jumps there’s a huge pop. They pick up the pace a lot and it turns into a free for all, which is how most tag matches in any company end so no problems there.

PG13 is something like the Briscos if you’re an ROH fan, just minus the flair and the gimmick. 3D on Wolfe and that’s it. That came out of nowhere. The announcer says still 3 time tag team champions, which they could have been if they had lost.

Rating: C+. This was slightly better than your average tag match which means it wasn’t that bad. It’s about ten minutes long and is a run of the mill power vs. high flying match, meaning that it’s decent enough. It’s no classic, but I’ve seen far worse matches. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.

Sandman is still trying to get back to the arena and this is still news, despite not having a match tonight. The Chopper is still looking for him. Apparently he stopped and got a carton of cigarettes and a beer. This is pointless. They have a spotlight on him but the guy in the chopper says he can’t see him.

Jerry Lawler vs. Tommy Dreamer

Lawler plugs Ground Zero, which was an ok show at best and crap at worst. He more or less says the same thing that he said in his promo, which to be fair the live crowd hasn’t heard. Styles says he won’t be impartial. Well at least he won’t pretend to be like Ross does. BeulahL is freaking gorgeous.

After pinning Raven, Dreamer is now more or less one of the top faces in the company right there with Taz. They start off fast with weapons and that’s fine here. This is supposed to be about showing Lawler what ECW is about and that’s what they’re doing here. Jerry is bleeding 10 seconds in.

Fans keep giving Dreamer weapons which is an old standard for the company, especially him. They’re in the crowd and the lighting is so bad you can’t tell who is who other than the outline of a beard. Jerry has had no offense at all. It’s chair time but as he tries to come in off the top rope, Lawler manages to crotch him. It’s a good thing this wasn’t in Philly Lawler would be dead by now.

Styles is being really calm actually which impresses me. In a spot I like, Lawler just holds the chair up and rams Dreamer’s head into it. And there goes the impartiality. Lawler chokes Dreamer. A lot. A whole lot. Oh there’s a piledriver and Dreamer becomes the first person to ever kick out of it!* (Note*: that means the first person in Ft. Lauderdale named Tommy wearing an ECW shirt in August of 97.)

He rips Dreamer’s shirt off and wipes himself with it which makes him jobber up. His chest looks like Hogan’s if nothing else. Dreamer poses which allows for a low blow to switch the momentum again. We have our ref bump of the match to really make it a big time match. Lawler adds a DDT to him for no apparent reason. Dreamer is about to crotch Lawler on the post and the lights go out.

They come back on and Rude blasts Dreamer with a trash can to bust him open. Why did they have to go out for that to happen? That only gets two as Lawler kicks the referee again. Dreamer sets for a piledriver and we lose the lights again. They come back on to reveal Jake Roberts for no apparent reason.

He hits a clothesline on Dreamer who convulses like Terry Funk for no apparent reason. He adds a DDT to Dreamer as Lawler has no idea why he’s there. Neither do I but whatever. Jake says his God giveth but he doesn’t have the balls to do anything else.

Now Roberts hits a clothesline on Lawler who lands on Dreamer for two. Roberts walks out as I wonder who is handling security tonight since Roberts just walked in and out at his own will. Dreamer sets for his own DDT and FOR THE LOVE OF GOODNESS SHOOT THE GUY THAT’S RUNNING THE LIGHTS!!!

Sunny is there this time and sprays hairspray in Dreamer’s eyes. Beulah, who hasn’t done anything this whole match and I had forgotten about her, starts a catfight. Lawler tries to use her for a human shield so she kicks him low to allow Tommy to hit the DDT for the pin. Not overbooked at ALL.

Rating: D+. Before I go into this, let it be known: this is for the wrestling and action itself and not the symbolism or importance of anything here. That being said, this wasn’t that good at all. It was mainly just random weapons and ball shots that led to nothing. Also the three run ins were just overkill.

Rude I get and Sunny would have been ok, but you could have killed it off there. Roberts made no sense at all though. See, earlier in the show when Rude was there for the introduction, that justified his run in here. Since he was there earlier, it validated him being there at the end because it was known he was in the arena to support Candido.

For Roberts and Sunny, they had no business in the arena and it made no sense for them to be there. If Roberts had cut a quick promo or something, it would have been way better. Anyway, this was what it was supposed to be: Lawler getting beaten up by Dream, which was what happened. I didn’t like it that much, but I’m sure ECW fans did and that was the point.

Styles gives up the intro for the three way dance as he talks about how this is a big rematch from three and a half years ago. Heyman does the same thing in a video package.

Sandman finds the arena. This isn’t going to go well is it?

World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Remember this is elimination rules. So we have a guy that I have never seen have a good match aside from with weapons and even then he’s so spotty. Funk is old and crazy and still ok but not great. Finally you have Shane who is about as overrated as a wrestler not named Elijah can be.

Funk is at least smart and stays on the floor to start which really is intelligent. The other match should have been the main event. It really should have been as it was the focus of the show. Joey talks about how this is a changing of the guard. That’s why it’s a rematch of three and a half years ago right? This is a pretty decent triple threat but nothing great.

To be fair though, I hate three way matches so that makes no difference. They go at it for about twenty minutes which includes weapons since Sabu can’t last longer than 10 without them. Of course we get the triple sleeper which just looks stupid but whatever.

Anyway, Sandman finally gets here despite arriving at the building about 30 minutes ago and nails Sabu with a ladder so both others can pin him. We get a big brawl as they fight to the back which means they’ll fight at November to Remember. The fans are way behind Funk now, even though there was zero point at all to having Sabu get the belt a week before this match.

The locker room comes out to watch this “epic showdown.” Either way, after another bit including a kickout of the belly to belly (HOW COULD FUNK DO THAT???) a low blow and rollup gives Douglas the title again because that’s how things roll in ECW.

After the match ends, the Dudleys and Joel come out to say that Douglas should join them and become the Triple Crown instead of the Triple Threat. Bigelow and Candido come out to challenge them leading to a massive brawl to end the show. That was rather pointless but whatever.

Rating: C+. Again, I don’t like these kinds of matches which has a lot to do with the grade here. The timing here of about 25 minutes was FAR better than the original’s hour which I like. I still don’t get the point of having Sabu take the title 8 days earlier but whatever. The match was what it was which was a bunch of spots but there was some flow going out there which made it work. Not bad, but it’s not my cup of tea.

Overall Rating: B-. OH MY GOODNESS this was a huge turnaround from last time. For one thing, it felt like a PPV. Ok so having 2000 people there made the show feel minor league, but this felt like a big time show. I don’t like the match order especially at the end, but the big thing here: they toned down the weapons.

That balance is what makes this much more bearable for me as instead of having just random violence everything had a nice flow to it. Also, stories were addressed instead of just a bunch of random matches. This could have been better, but it was good for what it was.

This felt like a major show instead of a celebration of them getting on PPV, so that makes this a better show in my eyes than Barely Legal. Check it out if you have two and a half hours to kill I guess, especially the opener as that was a lot of good stuff. It goes downhill after that, but not a ton.

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