Smackdown Date: July 26, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re into the new era of Smackdown now and it should be interesting to see where they go now that they’re all on their own. Given who they have on the roster, there’s a chance we’ll have to get some new titles or at the very least some new stars to challenge for the titles that already exist. Let’s get to it.
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are in the back and say this new era is all about us as they walk into the arena.
Just like Raw, there’s a new intro accompanied by new music.
The roster is around the ring with the bosses inside. Shane talks about how we have the only WWE Champion here so it’s time to find a new #1 contender. Dean Ambrose comes out to say he’s ready for a new challenge and has Smackdown Live fever. Tonight there’s going to be a Six Pack Challenge for the right to face Ambrose at Summerslam. Included in that match will be:
John Cena
Bray Wyatt
Dolph Ziggler
AJ Styles
Baron Corbin
That leaves one spot open so let’s have a battle royal right now for that final position.
Battle Royal
Kane, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Apollo Crews, Konnor, Viktor, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Kalisto, Zack Ryder, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Erick Rowan, Alberto Del Rio, Mojo Rawley
The camera has a slightly different camera angle, starting from over the cover and down a bit lower instead of the stationary shot. Kane throws out Gotch and clotheslines Ascension out to start clearing out the ring early on. Breezango gets together to eliminate Jey Uso and we take a break.
Back with Rowan and English having been eliminated, leaving us Breeze, Fandango, Kane, Del Rio, Crews, Kalisto and Ryder. I didn’t bother listing Rawley as he was eliminated a few seconds after we came back. A double clothesline gets rid of Del Rio and Kane throws out Breezango to get us down to four. Everyone starts taking shots at Kane but Crews seems to injure his knee on a standing shooting star.
All four are down for a bit until thankfully Crews gets up fine. A clothesline sends Ryder to the apron and Kalisto hits Salida Del Sol on Crews. Ryder goes up for the Elbro but slips off, only to have Kane do the dramatic sit up. Kane dumps Kalisto with ease and Ryder follows him out, leaving Kane and Crews. Apollo backflips out of a chokeslam and low bridges Kane out for the win at 12:45.
Rating: C. The ending really does this match a lot of good and teasing Kane winning made it even better. Above all else though they kept this moving very quickly and didn’t overstay the welcome as so many battle royals do. Crews isn’t likely going to win the Six Pack Challenge but it’s a nice win to get him noticed.
Crews says he won’t celebrate until he wins the main event.
Shelton Benjamin is coming back.
Dolph Ziggler is ready to break through the glass ceiling. You can’t be a multiple time World Champion and still complain about the glass ceiling.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
Battleground rematch because those are still a thing in the new era. Becky takes her to the mat for a bit but gets run over by a shoulder. Natalya flips to her feet and slams Becky off the top as we take an early break. Back with Becky jawbreaking her way out of a chinlock and getting two off a guillotine legdrop. The Disarm-Her is broken up and Nattie By Nature gets two. The slow motion Sharpshooter that is only designed to be countered is countered into the Disarm-Her to make Natalya tap at 10:21.
Rating: C-. I don’t know any other way to put this but Natalya is really dull. She wrestles the exact same match as a heel that she wrestled as a face and there’s really no motivation for her other than something that happened a few weeks ago and now she’s a villain basically in name only. It doesn’t help that these two don’t have the best chemistry, especially when they’re the best in the Smackdown division.
Post match Becky says you can call her Becky Balboa (No.) but is interrupted by Alexa Bliss who says this is what the new era looks like. This is followed by the returning Naomi, Carmella (almost no reaction) and Eva Marie, who comes out with a voiceover like a movie trailer, listing off every possible positive attribute about herself. It’s really corny but I actually liked it, even though Eva didn’t say anything.
Baron Corbin says he’ll win.
It’s time for MizTV with special guest…..The Miz. He brags about how awesome he is (well duh) until Randy Orton interrupts. Orton thought Miz was talking about him with all those accolades and agrees that Miz is awesome. Miz brings up the upcoming Brock match and Orton is ready to take Lesnar to Suplex City because he’ll be taking Brock to Viperville. Orton suggests a match against Miz tonight and he’ll even make it non-title so Maryse accepts for her husband.
Randy Orton vs. The Miz
Non-title. They’re quickly on the floor with Miz stomping Orton down, throwing him back inside, and then whipping him into the steps. Back in and the RKO knocks Miz silly for no cover. Instead Orton stares at the entrance and slowly gets up before slapping the ropes a bit. Miz has been down for about two minutes before getting up to take a second RKO for the pin at 4:53.
Rating: F. Oh screw you WWE. Smackdown has almost nothing and you have Miz lose to one move with almost half the match spent on him standing up after the RKO. You know who would have been perfect for this spot? Kane. He’s established, he’s tough, he loses NOTHING by taking the loss and it makes Orton look like he can beat a monster. This was stupid and one of the things that ticks me off more than any other nonsense WWE pulls.
Video on American Alpha. They’re here next week. Well I mean they were here earlier but we don’t have time for the hottest tag team act in a long time. I mean, aside from New Day of course.
A jobber is in the ring for a match when Heath Slater comes in and knocks him out. Slater isn’t happy that he wasn’t drafted to either show and wants to be in the main event. He starts a SIGN HEATH SLATER chant and the fans actually go along with it. Cue Shane McMahon to say Slater needs to send in his resume. Slater says his resume would say he was the brains behind the Nexus, the Corre (there’s a name I never thought I’d hear again) and the Social Outcasts. As Slater rants, Rhyno of all people sneaks up behind him for a Gore.
AJ thinks Smackdown is against him because he’s too good. Why else wouldn’t the Club have been drafted together and why else would he have to fight five guys at once?
Bray Wyatt says it all revolves around him and tonight he’ll have the whole world in his hands.
John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a shot at Ambrose at Summerslam. We take an early break and come back with Bray and AJ double teaming Crews with the other three down on the floor. That lasts about as long as you would expect it to as Bray takes AJ’s head off with a clothesline, only to be dropkicked down by Ziggler. AJ adds a springboard 450 with Cena diving back in for the save. Crews comes back in with rolling German suplexes on AJ, only to walk into an STO of all things from Corbin. Baron throws on a chinlock, which really shouldn’t be seen in a six way match.
We go to another break and come back with stereo Towers of Doom (because that’s how wrestling works) and Corbin getting two off Deep Six to Crews. Apollo’s toss powerbomb gets two with Bray pulling the referee out. The Zig Zag should finish Bray but there’s no referee. Cena finally remembers he’s in this match and AA’s Ziggler and AJ with the latter getting two.
Crews and Wyatt take AA’s as well but Corbin takes a bit more to get up and elbows his way out. And scratch that as the second attempt works, only to have AJ springboard in with the forearm. Styles turns right into a superkick though and Ziggler gets the very surprising pin at 16:12.
Rating: C+. ZIGGLER??? Of all the people you have here you pick ZIGGLER??? I mean I know this lets you have Styles vs. Cena and…..well that’s about it actually. Yeah Smackdown needs new stars but the best they can do is having Dolph Ziggler’s main event push brought out of mothballs? I don’t hate it but I’m going to need to see a lot more of this before I accept Ziggler as a top challenger.
Shane, Bryan and Ambrose come out and say nothing to fill in the last four minutes of the show.
Overall Rating: C. This show’s main issue is it followed last night’s great Raw. It’s certainly not a bad show and they did some good things (Crews getting a push, setting up the title match, the women showing up) but on the other hand you have Orton’s completely needless destruction of Miz, Heath Slater and Rhyno instead of American Alpha (which at least gives you something to look forward to next week so it’s not all bad. This show set left a lot to be desired but it’s certainly not terrible. The problem is Smackdown didn’t look great in the first place and now those suspicions are even more confirmed.
Results
Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane
Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her
Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin – Superkick to Styles
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Smackdown Date: July 19, 2016
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
Now this is a big one. Tonight we’re not only going live but also splitting the shows into two rosters again for the first time in a few years. There’s only been one other draft like this in company history and it wasn’t the greatest show in the world. The interesting things here tonight are the potential returns of former stars as well as the guaranteed NXT callups. Oh and a rematch from last night’s World Title match as a bonus. Let’s get to it.
We open with the Commissioners and the GM’s on the stage and a quick explanation of the rules:
1. Raw gets three picks to every Smackdown two.
2. Tag Teams are selected as a unit unless a GM wants either.
3. Raw has the first pick.
4. Six NXT picks will be made.
Stephanie cuts Foley off and picks Seth Rollins number one. So much for the title meaning a lot.
Daniel Bryan picks Dean Ambrose to put the Shield boys on different shows.
I won’t bother saying the specifics so I’ll just say which show.
Raw: Charlotte
Smackdown: AJ Styles
Raw: Finn Balor
Before we get to another pick, it’s time for a match.
John Cena vs. Luke Gallows
The rest of the Club, Enzo and Cass are at ringside. We go to a quick commercial but this time they’re showing the match during the commercial on a split screen. Gallows powers him down and is apparently too heavy to take the AA. Cena gets in a dropkick and we come back from the break. A spinning side slam gets two for Luke but he walks into the ProtoBomb and the Shuffle. Gallows breaks up the AA with a superkick (GET THAT MAN A T-SHIRT!) but the other four get in the ring and the match….is allowed to continue with Anderson and Styles being sent to the floor. An AA gives Cena the pin at 5:27.
Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and I’m hoping the airing the match during the break doesn’t become a regular thing. If there’s one concept WWE never got, it’s the idea of giving the fans a breather. You can’t present every single moment as must see and expect the fans to stick with you through the insane amount of content WWE pumps out.
Time for more picks.
Raw: Roman Reigns
Smackdown: John Cena
Raw: Brock Lesnar
Smackdown: Randy Orton
Raw: New Day
Darren Young/Zack Ryder vs. Rusev/The Miz
Challengers vs. champions. Backlund atomic drops Miz to start and Ryder adds a slingshot elbow for two. Miz pulls Zack off the ropes for a crash before it’s off to Rusev for some shots to the back. Miz gives up the hot tag to Young for his still generic offense. A quick Gut Check gets two but Rusev suplexes Darren, only to throw Ryder into a Rough Ryder on his partner. Zack dropkicks Rusev off the apron and the crossface chickenwing makes Miz tap at 4:05.
Rating: C-. No time here and I have a feeling that’s going to be the case for almost all matches tonight. That’s how things should go though as the wrestling isn’t the point here. Young making Miz tap sets up the title match just fine, though I don’t see much of a reason to get hyped for Ryder vs. Rusev. Maybe it was the losing to Sheamus in two minutes flat.
Xavier Woods vs. Bray Wyatt
Everyone is at ringside. Bray stands in the corner with his back to Bray before bending backwards. He even kneels in the middle of the ring to offer a free shot but Woods is afraid. Woods seems to be hypnotized so Bray beats him down and chokes a bit. The release Rock Bottom plants Woods again but he makes a quick comeback, only to walk into Sister Abigail for the pin at 4:47.
Rating: D+. This was all about the story instead of the match and that’s the right idea. Bray squashing Woods is the right idea too and it’s cool to see someone freaking out at the sight and thought of Bray. That almost has to play into the finish on Sunday but it also makes the titles more interesting. If Woods is teasing a split, they’ll have to drop the belts soon and that’s not happening Sunday.
Kevin Owens vs. Kane
And never mind as Sami Zayn runs out to attack Owens. Kevin sends Sami in for a chokeslam from Kane but he chokeslams both of them for fun. No match.
Back to the picks!
Raw: Sami Zayn
Smackdown: Bray Wyatt (not the Wyatt Family)
Raw: Sasha Banks
Smackdown: Becky Lynch
Raw: Chris Jericho
Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte/Dana Brooke
Dana starts for the team but Sasha knocks Charlotte outside and hits the double knees off the apron. Back in and Dana misses a charge to set up the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte break it up and hit Natural Selection for the pin at 2:21.
More picks:
Raw: Rusev w/Lana
Smackdown: The Miz w/Maryse
Raw: Kevin Owens
Smackdown: Baron Corbin
Raw: Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Chris Jericho vs. Cesaro
Cesaro uppercuts him to the floor and hits a running version up against the barricade. Back in and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence until Jericho slams him off the top. The Lionsault is countered into a Russian legsweep off the middle rope and it’s time for a Swing. The spinning springboard uppercut is countered into the Codebreaker for the pin on Cesaro at 4:53.
Rating: C+. In case you didn’t get enough of these two during the build to Money in the Bank. I’m really not wild on the idea of Jericho winning here as they don’t seem interested in actually doing anything with him despite giving him a bunch of wins. Cesaro continues to be that guy who keeps losing and WWE keeps expecting him to be over, which to be fair he kind of is.
Back from a break with Becky Lynch attacking Natalya before a match. Ok then.
Draft time.
Raw: The Club
Smackdown: American Alpha
Raw: Big Show
Smackdown: Dolph Ziggler
Raw: Nia Jax
Rollins says he’ll win tonight.
Time for the final five televised picks before 30 more will be made on the WWE Network.
Raw: Neville
Smackdown: Natalya
Raw: Cesaro
Smackdown: Alberto Del Rio
Raw: Sheamus
WWE World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Ambrose is defending and Rollins jumps him during the big match intros. We take a break before the bell rings with Dean being posted. Back with Ambrose saying ring the bell, allowing Rollins to hammer away in a hurry. A backbreaker sets up the chinlock before Rollins sends him outside for a chop off. Dean gets whipped into the barricade but he backdrops Rollins into the timekeeper’s area. Back in and Seth hits a low superkick for two as we take a break.
We come back again with what sounds like a CM Punk chant accompanying Rollins hitting a running forearm in the corner. Dean fights back with elbows to the face and a swinging neckbreaker for two. A quick Buckle Bomb sets up a missed frog splash but Rollins grabs a quick superplex. He loads up the Falcon’s Arrow but Dean reverses into Dirty Deeds at 12:21.
Rating: C+. The match was fine but it’s pure filler with Battleground and the triple threat looming. Rollins getting pinned clean is interesting as now Dean looks a lot more like an equal instead of someone who keeps getting beaten in the big matches over and over. It’s a good main event, though it feels kind of worthless after last night. Like, what did any of that accomplish?
Shane and Bryan come out to celebrate and a PPV rundown ends the show.
Overall Rating: B-. These are the hardest shows to review as there’s nothing to compare it to. They kept it moving fast enough and the wrestling was just there for the most part but they kept the draft picking moving and that’s a very good thing. This felt like something professionally run and that’s never really been the case in previous drafts. Good show here but this would have been better off after Battleground.
Results
John Cena b. Luke Gallows – Attitude Adjustment
Darren Young/Zack Ryder b. Rusev/The Miz – Crossface chickenwing to Miz
Bray Wyatt b. Xavier Woods – Sister Abigail
Charlotte/Dana Brooke b. Sasha Banks – Natural Selection
Chris Jericho b. Cesaro – Codebreaker
Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins – Dirty Deeds
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Monday Night Raw – July 11, 2016: This Close To Interesting
Monday Night Raw Date: July 11, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Things are back to normal this week, or at least as back to normal as they’re going to be with just one more Raw after this before the Draft takes place. The only major event announced for tonight is Zack Ryder challenging Rusev for the United States Title after beating Sheamus twice last week. Let’s get to it.
First of all, on a personal note, Happy Anniversary Becca. Thanks for an amazing year and I love you.
Opening sequence.
Battle Royal
Goldust, Darren Young, Apollo Crews, Viktor, Konnor, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Dolph Ziggler, Bo Dallas, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, R-Truth, Baron Corbin, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jack Swagger, Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel
Winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Battleground so Miz and Maryse are on commentary. English is put out early and he lands near Bob Backlund, who is managing Young. R-Truth puts out Viktor and Bubba (Not D-Von, Cole.) gets rid of Axel. There goes Truth and Konnor follows him out. One Uso tries to eliminate the other but they settle with a double superkick to get rid of D-Von as we go to a break.
Back with Gotch and Jey having been eliminated during the break. Del Rio gets rid of Goldust and Crews eliminates Dallas as the ring is emptying out. Jimmy and Swagger are thrown out so we’re down to Crews, Bubba, Young, Del Rio, Corbin and Ziggler. Crews low bridges Bubba out and Del Rio is the only one left standing. Ziggler drops him with a Fameasser and goes for a cover out of instinct. That’s not enough to eliminate him though as Alberto comes back with a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster.
Alberto misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Ziggler to superkick him to the floor which isn’t an elimination. Corbin sends Dolph to the apron but can’t get him out. Del Rio comes back in and gets backdropped out by Crews to put us down to four. Corbin gets rid of Ziggler but Crews gets rid of himself and Corbin, leaving Young to win the thing at 13:20.
Rating: D. You know what, why not? That’s certainly a unique way to win the match and it’s a nice way to have Young go somewhere after all those vignettes. I would have gone with Crews here but this could have been a lot worse. I mean, at least it’s not another battle of Cleveland with Ziggler vs. Miz. It was a pretty standard battle royal though, which is only going to be so entertaining.
Backlund picks Young up to celebrate.
Shane and Stephanie McMahon are talking about why Vince McMahon is going to be here tonight. Maybe it’s to give one of them a promotion. Seth Rollins comes in and thinks Vince is here to see about him as the face of the WWE. Rollins has footage for tonight and Shane thinks it should be on the Ambrose Asylum. Stephanie says no because she hates Dean (Have we ever gotten a reason other than he’s apparently an embarrassment to the company?) so Seth will get to debut the Rollins Report. Great. EVEN MORE talking.
Quick look at Brock Lesnar winning his return to the UFC on Saturday before he faces Randy Orton at Summerslam. Orton will be on the Highlight Reel at Battleground.
Zack Ryder comes up to challenge Rusev again but Sheamus jumps him from behind. Apparently there’s no title match tonight because Ryder will be facing Sheamus next. Three WOO’s for false advertising!
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder goes right after him to start and knocks Sheamus to the floor for a dropkick off the apron. Back in and a running boot to the face gets two for Zack as the announcers ignore the match to play fantasy draft. Not that it matters as the Brogue Kick ends Ryder at 2:22. I knew this was coming because this is how WWE works but thanks for YET ANOTHER waste of potential for the sake of a nothing match on Smackdown.
Rusev comes out and beats up Ryder as well while shouting that he accepts Ryder’s challenge. Wait, so Ryder is getting the title shot after Sheamus just beat him clean? SERIOUSLY? This is the kind of stuff you suggest in sarcasm because it’s the dumbest thing you could possibly do, not what you actually do on Raw.
Breezango vs. Lucha Dragons
This is due to the Dragons messing up Breeze’s vest on the pre-show. Fandango and Cara start things off and it’s time for more Draft talk. Cara headscissors him down but gets caught in the wrong corner to put him in trouble. Fandango is sent into the corner as well and the hot tag brings in Kalisto, who almost immediately botches a springboard. A few kicks to Breeze go better and the hurricanrana driver makes it worse. The numbers get the better of him though and Breeze gets in a superkick for the pin on Kalisto at 4:20.
Rating: D+. I can’t help it but I like Breezango. They’re just a goofy little midcard heel team but it’s not like there’s anything better for either of them to do. If nothing else it means we’re getting something out of that Golden Truth story, which went on forever and deserves to actually go somewhere. Also it’s not like the Dragons mean anything at this point anyway so them losing doesn’t exactly matter.
Here’s Seth Rollins for the Rollins Report. Tonight he has something special for us: footage from a special sitdown interview with Roman Reigns. Please tell me this isn’t going to be one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns’ answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing.
We see the footage and it’s…..one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns’ answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing. Basically Reigns “admits” he did it and says he should be out of the triple threat because he’s no role model. Oh and he hates Dean being champion.
Back in the arena, Rollins says Ambrose should be out of the triple threat because he deserves his rematch for the title, one on one. Cue Ambrose but Rollins yells at him for being a coward and stealing the title from him at Money in the Bank. Dean says he loves to come out here and have a good time but he’s the top man in this industry. He’s more than just a joke and a utility player because he’s the only one still standing and the king of this company. Dean goes on about Rollins wanting another shot and offers a title shot anywhere any place. Rollins is ready right now but nah, not tonight. He’ll see Dean next week.
We get a quick preview of New Day fighting the Wyatt Family at their compound. This DEFINITELY looks like the Final Deletion.
Ambrose vs. Rollins for the title is confirmed for next week.
Kevin Owens vs. ???
Sami Zayn is on commentary but Kevin won’t come out until he’s gone. Stephanie comes in to say get rid of Sami because she’s all about solutions. Sami starts to leave but gets in a fight with Owens on the ramp. No match.
Vince arrives and says he’s here to name the Commissioner of Smackdown.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Time for more Draft talk! I know it’s a big deal but could you please talk about the actual match for more than two seconds first? Cesaro gutwrenches him over for two to start before they trade headlocks. A hurricanrana puts Owens down but he makes the ropes to break up the Swing. Owens takes over with a whip into the barricade as the announcers talk about where John Cena will be drafted. Cesaro’s suplex doesn’t break their focus but Owens knocks him into the barricade as we take a break.
Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock and avoiding the Cannonball in the corner. The Pop Up Powerbomb is blocked and the springboard spinning uppercut gets two for Cesaro. Another running uppercut on the floor (with Cesaro wearing JBL’s hat) but Cesaro gets crotched on top to slow him down. Owens busts out a torture rack neckbreaker for the clean pin at 12:24.
Rating: C+. I like the finisher but I could go without Cesaro losing all over again. I mean to be fair he had that awesome run against Miz and came up short, which is his standard operating procedure. It’s still working, but at some point you’re just wasting a lot of potential and acting like Cesaro isn’t being hurt by all the losses.
Post match Owens grabs a headset to brag about how awesome he is until Sami Zayn jumps him from behind. Cesaro swings Owens in a meaningless gesture. Maybe he should, I don’t know, be upset about the loss?
The Club thinks John Cena is abandoning Enzo and Big Cass by hosting the ESPYs and not being here tonight. Maybe after the win they could hop on a plane and crash the awards so they can beat up John Cena.
Heath Slater vs. Titus O’Neil
We actually get a Slater Gator reference for a name I never thought (or hoped to) I’d hear again. Titus throws him around to start but runs into a raised boot in the corner. That means it’s time for a quick Bo-Train, followed by Slater getting two off a DDT. Titus starts powering back and catches a diving Heath in three straight backbreakers. The Clash of the Titus puts Heath away at 3:12.
Rating: D. Well that happened and I’m not sure what else there is to say about it. This is another short match that doesn’t seem to mean much but maybe that’s going to be the norm going forward. Titus winning is fine but I’m not sure where he’s going after losing to Rusev so decisively.
Sasha has been waiting to shut Dana Brooke up all weekend now and wants the title after that. Tonight, she gets real.
We look back at the Wyatt Family challenging the New Day to come to their compound last week.
Now we go to the compound, where a bunch of cars turn their lights on and try to crush New day as they get out of their truck. The editing makes this look like it’s being played in fast motion so it’s almost impossible to keep track of. The Wyatts arrive in a car and the brawl is on with New Day being beaten down with a variety of weapons. Woods hides behind a tree until Bray swings an ax at him and rams him into the tree trunk.
Kofi is shoved into some mud until Big E. suplexes Rowan. Strowman (who looks even more frightening with his shirt off) and Big E. hit each other a few times until Bray comes back and drops the unconscious Woods by the car. Kofi and Big E. are beaten down again as the editing gets even faster. Woods gets back up with a trashcan lid for a save but Bray beats everyone down and asks where the power of positivity is now.
New Day is sent into a car which is quickly beaten down but they escaped somewhere in there. Bray is left alone but smiles at New Day, who are freaked out by his laughter. Rowan and Strowman come back but a bunch of people in sheep masks appear, all holding lanterns. That’s enough for New Day as they bail, leaving Bray to say follow the buzzards.
Yes it’s clearly a takeoff from the Final Deletion and I’m sure I’ll hear about how much better TNA’s version was, though this was the serious version and exactly the kind of thing that made the Wyatts creepy in the first place. This really is something that has to be seen though as words really don’t do it justice. It worked though.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club
Enzo and Cass say they want Cena’s spot but they’re willing to earn it. The Club on the other hand think they can take it by beating Cena up 3-1. AJ tells them to walk away but Enzo says the only place they’re walking is into that ring right now. This is joined in progress after a break with Enzo trying to hold Anderson with a headlock. It’s quickly off to Gallows who headbutts Enzo back into the corner as the beatdown begins.
Karl comes back in for a headlock but Cass comes in and slams Enzo onto Anderson for two. To be fair Enzo might as well just be a projectile as I don’t think he’s entirely human. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face and sends him shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Anderson and Gallows taking turns on Enzo. Anderson finally lets Enzo get away for the hot tag to Cass (Enzo’s signature) and a fall away slam sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka. AJ low bridges Gallows to the floor though and it’s a DQ at 10:48.
Rating: C. This was just a long beating on Enzo and to be fair that’s almost all he’s good for in a situation like this one. I like how much they’re protecting Cass though as I don’t think he’s been pinned yet and the Club actually lost here. The match was fine, albeit pretty basic for the most part. It’s acceptable though as you don’t want to burn the fans out on this match like they did with the Club vs. the Usos.
Post match the beating is almost on but here’s Cena, who was in Los Angeles earlier today, for the save. Well at least he’s not live via satellite. That earns him a big CENA chant which you really don’t hear that often.
Dana Brooke vs. Sasha Banks
Sasha shoves her outside to start and things instantly slow down. Back in and Dana talks a lot of trash before kneeing Sasha in the ribs. Banks is sent outside so Charlotte can brag us to a break. Back with Sasha in a chinlock (Charlotte: “Very good Dana.”) before stomping away in the corner. The announcers continue to talk about ANYTHING other than this match as Dana grabs another chinlock to keep things slow. Sasha fights out again and hits the double knees in the corner. Dana crotches her on top but Sasha pops right back up and grabs the Bank Statement for the win at 12:00.
Rating: C-. This was fine and another win for Sasha as that Natalya feud looks more and more pointless every single week. Dana is getting better in the ring as she’s not botching everything she tries but she still is on the main roster far sooner than she probably should have been.
Post match Charlotte says that’s not good enough so Sasha has to beat Dana again on Smackdown.
Here are Shane, Stephanie and Vince for the Smackdown Commissioner announcement. Vince thinks they’ve been doing a fair job but wonders how they could be his kids. Where’s the violence and anger? How could they not have stabbed each other in the back yet? What’s up with Stephanie being all passive aggressive and Shane having no ruthless aggression?
The kids are given a chance to convince their dad that they should be in charge of Smackdown and Stephanie goes first. Stephanie goes on a rant about what Shane said on the Mick Foley podcast about how he left when he wasn’t congratulated enough. That’s nothing compared to what he says behind Vince’s back because he’s all crazy and needing to be praised.
Shane says he came back in this arena five months ago and he’s eternally thankful. He’s ready to change everything about Smackdown and shatter the glass ceilings that Vince and Stephanie have set up. We get a quick fan poll with Shane easily winning which Stephanie attributes to crowd manipulation.
Vince doesn’t care what the people think but one of them has to run Smackdown. That will be…….Shane, while Stephanie runs Raw. Ah that’s better. For a second there I thought they might actually do something interesting. Vince wants them to compete for who gets the keys to the kingdom but they’ll both be naming General Managers. Great. MORE power struggles and double bosses for each show.
Vince leaves and Stephanie tells Shane she’s going to make him wish he was never born. Shane thinks Stephanie is hiding something and it’s fear. It’s game on, but Stephanie says she’s married to the only game in this business. She slaps him in the face so he kisses her on the cheek, only to have Stephanie slip off the steps as she leaves to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. I actually liked this show more than I was expecting to as it absolutely flew by. Even though it was just a big preview for the Draft next week (as it should have been), they kept it entertaining enough and set some stuff up going forward, which is all it was supposed to do. Unfortunately the ending really hurt things as it’s going to be all about the McMahons even longer, which is really the last thing they needed to go with but that’s how WWE works. Anyway, not a good show or anything but it was good enough for a show in a vacuum like everything else is around here at the moment.
Results
Darren Young won a battle royal after Baron Corbin and Apollo Crews eliminated each other
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder – Brogue Kick
Breezango b. Lucha Dragons – Superkick to Kalisto
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Torture rack neckbreaker
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. The Club via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Bank Statement
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Monday Night Raw – May 30, 2016: The Slow Ride To The Bank
Monday Night Raw Date: May 30, 2016
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s a big night here as we have the return of John Cena since his injury late last year. At the same time though we’re probably going to hear the first news about the new Brand Split as Raw and Smackdown will become stand alone shows again starting in July. A lot of the details are still up in the air at this point but it should be interesting either way. Let’s get to it.
We open with a moment of silence for Memorial Day.
A bunch of wrestlers quote a Ronald Reagan speech on fallen troops.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Shane McMahon to open things up but Stephanie comes out to join him before anything can be said. They mention the Brand Split and Smackdown moving to Tuesdays before New Day comes out for a chat. Big E. likes the idea of bringing the power of positivity to Raw and Smackdown (“That’s a lot of P’s.”) but then it turned into paranoia because the rosters might be split up. After making fun of Kofi for being the oldest member of the team (Woods: “You were my favorite wrestler in middle school.”), they get to the point: which show will New Day be on?
Stephanie dodges the question and New Day does a dramatic reenactment of Stephanie dodging it like an invisible ball. Woods goes insane and nearly starts crying over the team being split up and Francesca II being in a broken home. There’s also no decision yet on who will be running which show so New Day thinks there should be a dance challenge. Stephanie isn’t interested but Shane gets into it to a nice reaction. They finally get Stephanie to join in but the Vaudevillains cut her off.
Vaudevillains vs. New Day
Non-title and joined in progress with Cole welcoming us back to Smackdown. English gets stomped down in the corner as JBL tells us that a herd of unicorns is called a glory. We get the Unicorn Stampede but Gotch pulls Kofi’s foot to give the villains control. Gotch headlocks Kofi and knocks him to the floor as we take a break after less than four minutes of action. Back with Kofi taking Gotch down and making the hot tag to Big E. for the overhead belly to belly suplexes on English. As this is going on though, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows run in to attack Kofi for the DQ at 8:54.
Rating: D+. I liked the ending as Gallows and Anderson were pretty much the only option to go after the titles at this point and would be a good choice for new champions. The Vaudevillains were just there to give Anderson and Gallows a reason to come out, though at least it was a non-title match and not a rematch for no particular reason.
Anderson and Gallows lay out the champions post match.
Post break Anderson and Gallows say they’ve just put the tag team division on notice because they can do just as much damage without AJ.
We look back at Sheamus attacking Apollo Crews last week.
Crews is doing pushups when Big Show returns to say hello. Apollo says he’s ready to fight Sheamus and Show can admire that. Show knows Crews will make it work because Sheamus is scared of the New Era.
Usos vs. Breezango
Golden Truth is on commentary with JBL ripping on them for being a horrible team. Truth: “JBL they do not allow elephants in here.” Fandango hammers on Jey to start but Breeze charges into a superkick on the floor. Back inside, Jey crucifixes Fandango for the pin at 1:48.
Golden Truth beats up Breezango.
Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. Reigns talks about how the Shield broke up a long time ago and until someone takes this title from his shoulder, he’s still The Guy. This brings out Rollins for a fight but of course he doesn’t get in the ring. Instead he grabs the mic and teases talking but throws the mic down and goes towards the ring instead. This happens five or six times before Rollins just leaves. The fans call this boring because they have the attention span of drunken goats and can’t go three seconds without being entertained. Rollins sprints down the ramp one more time but stops at the apron again to wrap this up.
Trailer for Warcraft.
Rusev vs. Zack Ryder
Non-title. Rusev knees him in the ribs to start and drops Ryder with a clothesline. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and drops Rusev with a middle rope dropkick. The Broski Boot connects for two but the Rough Ryder is easily countered and the Accolade makes Ryder tap at 2:31. That’s the sixth time Rusev has made Ryder tap on Raw in just over two years and actually the longest Zack has ever lasted.
Rusev calls himself a real American hero but here’s Titus O’Neil to interrupt. Titus says this is Memorial Day and drops Rusev to the floor with a single right hand.
The Shining Stars want us to come to Puerto Rico.
We get a video on Charlotte dropping Ric Flair with comments from various people. This aired on Smackdown.
Earlier today, Stephanie yelled at Charlotte for being a spoiled, selfish brat. She yells a bit more and there’s no reaction from Charlotte as Stephanie collects her first set of lady balls. To recap, so far the first Women’s Champion has been made to tap out to Natalya more than once, played second fiddle to Ric Flair and not been allowed to say a word when Stephanie, yes STEPHANIE MCMAHON, yelled about someone being a spoiled brat who didn’t respect her father enough.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Dudley Boyz
Before the match, Cass lists off various types of cheese that he’s putting on the knuckle sandwiches he’s about to hand off. Bubba and Cass lock up to start but both Dudleyz are quickly sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Enzo in trouble (as expected) and eating an elbow to the jaw for daring to fight out of a neck crank.
Bubba comes in and drops some elbows for two before ripping at Enzo’s face. We hit the chinlock from D-Von for a bit before the hot tag brings in Cass. The reverse 3D gets two on him though and Bubba goes up, only to have an Enzo distraction let Cass slam him down. D-Von takes the big boot and the Rocket Launcher gives Enzo the pin at 9:23.
Rating: C-. This was a really basic match though it’s cool to see the new guys getting a clean win like this. I’m really not sure where you go with these two but they’ve looked awesome so far with Cass more than acting as a solid big man and Enzo as a great mouthpiece. There’s no point in them fighting the Dudleyz anymore, so I’m sure we’ll see them at Money in the Bank.
Sami Zayn, Dean Ambrose and Cesaro discuss their match against Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens and Alberto Del Rio. They’re keeping an eye on their opponents but Dean doesn’t seem to think much of Canadians. Sami: “You know I’m Canadian right?” Dean: “….Oh. That explains so much.”
It’s the top of the third hour and here’s the returning John Cena. He looks at the mic and gives a speech about Memorial Day and is very glad that he’s back home. However, he wants to thank everyone who has paid the ultimate price to keep our liberty safe. As for the business at hand tonight, the question is whether or not Cena still belongs here. That starts up a YES chant in quite the little surprise.
It’s a New Era around here with a bunch of new names and new faces and all of them are thinking that Cena’s best days are behind them. The name of this new era doesn’t matter because Cena isn’t going quietly into the night and the face that runs the place is back so the future must go through him.
Cue AJ Styles for something that would have been a dream match ten years ago. The fans are split (JBL: “The WWE Universe is having fun right now!”) until AJ says he’s been waiting for this for a long time. He’s always heard about Cena being the first in and the last out and now AJ wants to be the first man to welcome him back.
Cue Anderson and Gallows to as they’re here for a fight. That sounds like a challenge but AJ blasts Cena in the face and the Club is back together. The big beatdown is on and AJ even goes back in three more times to keep beating on him. Even Anderson and Gallows pull him back.
Natalya vs. Dana Brooke
Charlotte is at ringside as this feud is somehow continuing. Natalya hits her in the corner but gets taken down, allowing Charlotte to yell a lot. Charlotte distracts her to break up the Sharpshooter and the Samoan Driver gives Dana the pin at 1:20.
Post match Becky Lynch runs in for the save.
Dolph Ziggler is ready to show off tonight against Baron Corbin in a technical wrestling match. Dean Malenko was the Man of 1000 Holds and on the WWE Network you can see Chris Jericho list off his 1004 holds. Well Ziggler knows 1005, which he starts to list. As expected, every other one is armbar. This uh, wasn’t funny.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
This is billed as a technical wrestling exhibition and Dolph puts on headgear. And there’s a low blow to Baron for the DQ at 33 seconds.
The fans aren’t sure how to react to this so Dolph says the loser of this match is still Baron Corbin.
Miz is on the set of his new movie and needs to get some rest before shooting starts.
Owens, Jericho and Del Rio bicker about the six man tag. They agree to work together but Jericho calls them both idiots after they leave.
Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn
Del Rio suplexes Cesaro to start but Cesaro runs to the floor for the running uppercut on Jericho. The Swing is blocked by a rope grab and Cesaro is taken outside for a triple team. Jericho stomps away as the fans chant STUPID IDIOT. Cesaro suplexes his way out and the hot tag brings in Sami to clean house with his clotheslines. The villains get in a fight on the floor and Sami scores with a big dive as we take a break.
Back with Owens dropping Sami ribs first over the top rope and getting two off the backsplash. Del Rio grabs the leg to stop a tag and it’s back to Jericho who misses a Lionsault and bangs up his own knee. The Blue Thunder Bomb finally allows the hot tag off to Ambrose as house is cleaned again.
Jericho dives into a kick to the ribs but still blocks Dirty Deeds. Instead Dean hits the suicide dive to take Chris out, only to have Jericho grab a Codebreaker back inside. Owens wants the pin but only gets two. The Canadians start arguing so Cesaro knocks them together and Swings Jericho. Everyone comes in and Owens tries the Pop Up Powerbomb on Zayn, only to get caught in Dirty Deeds for the pin at 17:56.
Rating: B. This was good, albeit a bit pointless. You have to expect things like this over the coming weeks as there isn’t much you can do to set up the ladder match other than having mostly meaningless matches like this one. At least the finish was clean though and we have some dissension among people.
Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great show but there was more good than bad going on. The problem is you have something like Stephanie yelling at Charlotte without her being able to say a thing because ALL HAIL STEPHANIE but then you have something amazing like AJ vs. Cena being set up which basically makes people hand their wallets over in advance. The rest of the show was hit or miss but I’m really not too excited about so many feuds continuing in the lame duck period between now and the Brand Split.
Results
New Day b. Vaudevillains via DQ when Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows interfered
Usos b. Breezango – Crucifix to Fandango
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Dudley Boyz – Rocket Launcher to D-Von
Dana Brooke b. Natalya – Samoan Driver
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler kicked him low
Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho/Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens – Dirty Deeds to Owens
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Monday Night Raw – May 16, 2016: New Day Has A Time Machine
Monday Night Raw Date: May 16, 2016
Location: Greensboro Coliseum Complex, Greensboro, Coliseum
Commentators; John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules 2016 and the only match announced for tonight is the Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows. For those of you not counting, this is the seventh time these teams have been in a match together since April 25, or once for ever Raw/Smackdown in that span. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s AJ Styles to open things up. AJ is tired of Roman Reigns lying about him and he shows us TWEETS to prove that Reigns is saying AJ is in league with Anderson and Gallows. Apparently this is getting to him because it’s a new era and he’s tired of the same old stuff. He didn’t need anyone’s help to get to the top spot in the Tokyo Dome in front of 60,000 people and he doesn’t need anyone’s help to get where he’ll be on Sunday. Cue Reigns to interrupt to say AJ is indeed phenomenal.
Reigns gets annoyed with a WE WANT ROLLINS chant and says he’ll be in the Usos’ corner tonight. AJ will be in his buddies’ corner and cuts Roman’s “the guy” speech off. Reigns is indeed the guy…..that AJ is going to beat on Sunday. Roman shrugs it off and says he can do everything he wants to on Sunday. That’s going to prove that the bloodline (might be the new name for Reigns and the Usos) is stronger than the Club. Cue Gallows and Anderson but the Usos run in as well, only to have Reigns blast AJ in the face to send the Club away.
Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn
Miz and Owens are on commentary for the always brilliant FIVE MAN BOOTH. This is the aftermath of Zayn accidentally kicking Cesaro, his partner at the time, in the face on Smackdown to cost them a match. Cesaro starts fast and powerslams Sami for two but gets sent to the floor, allowing Sami to tease the dive. Instead it’s the springboard moonsault back inside as Owens walks off commentary because he “doesn’t care about this match”. Instead Owens goes after Miz and walks off with the Intercontinental Title. Miz goes after Owens to start a brawl and they get inside to draw the no contest at 1:47.
Cue Shane to make it a tag match which they completely couldn’t have done in the first place. Oh wait we’re not done though as Stephanie comes out to say it would be more interesting if the teams were Miz/Cesaro vs. Sami/Owens and if Owens walks out, he’s not in the title match on Sunday.
Cesaro/Miz vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens
Joined in progress with Cesaro escaping Kevin’s headlock and trying the Swing. Owens slaps Sami to bring him in to face Miz but Sami and Owens keep yelling at each other. One such argument results in Sami being knocked off the apron and into the barricade, which seems to bang up his shoulder as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the running corner clothesline on Sami and bringing in Cesaro to pick the bones with a running clothesline of his own (not a splash Cole, you dingbat).
Miz comes back in and punches Sami into the corner for the tag off to Owens for the big face comeback. There is money in a face run from Owens with him destroying everyone in sight and being built up for a big match. Cesaro comes in for the running uppercuts as everything breaks down. Miz sends Cesaro out to the floor to try his own Swing, only to have Cesaro give Miz the Skull Crushing Finale. The Helluva Kick puts Miz away at 10:47.
Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to after we spent five minutes watching Stephanie and Shane have a board meeting to set up a match. The idea of the guys doing each others’ moves was a bit of a surprise and a different idea and you had Owens being amazing to carry the thing. Also I’m fine with the champion losing in a tag match, especially after his own partner turned on him.
Owens lays Sami out post match and insists that his hand be raised because he won too.
Chris Jericho is furious at Dean for destroying a jacket more iconic to the WWE than Andre the Giant. He should call the cops but he’ll deal with this himself.
Video on Apollo Crews.
Shining Stars vs. Scott Jackson/Brian Kennedy
The jobbers are Corey Hollis/John Skyler from NXT. The Shining Stars are Primo/Epico as wrestling travelogues from Puerto Rico. JBL: “THEY’RE FINALLY HERE!” Primo says the ring is their paradise and they welcome tourists like these people from right here in North Carolina. Primo grabs Jackson to start before it’s off to Epico for two suplexes into a brainbuster. A hard shot to the face drops Kennedy and a butterfly suplex into a gutbuster makes things even worse. The Shining Star (Total Elimination) puts Kennedy away at 1:35.
The Shining Stars invite us to Puerto Rico.
Here’s Dean Ambrose, sporting a black eye, to call out Jericho. Chris is right there to tell Dean to shut his mouth. Jericho demands an apology to go with fifteen grand but first Chris has to tell the fans to be quiet. The apology isn’t happening because Dean wants a match at Extreme Rules. Jericho: “Just as I expected.” The match is on but Dean doesn’t know if Jericho is up to getting extreme anymore.
Jericho lists off his resume and accepts, so Dean has a cage lowered. BOY, IT’S A GOOD THING THAT WAS READY AND COMPLETELY NOT NOTICED ALL NIGHT LONG. There are weapons attached to the cage (including a mop and a potted plant), which Dean has dubbed the Asylum. Dean gives a long speech about how violent this is going to be while the announcers act like there has never been a match like this before. Yeah a weapons cage match is such an insane idea, though to be fair I’d try to forget the Extreme Elimination Chamber as well.
We recap the opening sequence.
Dana Brooke insults some people for not being in good enough shape.
Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch
In case their match on Smackdown wasn’t bad enough for you. No Emma here as she’s legitimately injured, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Becky kicks her out to the floor but Dana sends her head first into the barricade. A modified seated abdominal stretch has Becky in trouble but she comes back with the Bexploder. Dana counters a sunset flip out of the corner and sits down for the pin at 3:45.
Rating: D+. Dana is in a very weird place right now as she was brought up to team with Emma but the injury has completely derailed that idea. The problem is that Dana isn’t anywhere near ready for this level on her own and needs a lot more time down in NXT. They would be smart to pull the plug on this and send her back down but WWE isn’t normally that smart.
We get the same Life Lesson with Bob Backlund from Smackdown with Backlund not understanding smartphones and telling Darren to put his desktop on the desk and his mail in the mailbox. In other words, there’s still no reason to watch Smackdown.
Shane and Stephanie are watching the Backlund ad when Stephanie gets annoyed at him for not bringing up the Asylum match. The Dudley Boyz come in to mention the Attitude Era, which gets one of them a match with Colin Cassady.
Video on Golden Truth FINALLY getting together after five months, capped off by this past Thursday when Fandango and Tyler Breeze turned on them.
Golden Truth vs. Breezango
Truth goes after Breeze to start but gets knocked down in the corner, allowing Fandango to come in and smash him in the face. A double clothesline puts both guys down so it’s off to Goldust vs. Breeze. Goldust starts cleaning house and everything breaks down, only to have Truth kick Goldust by mistake, allowing Breeze to get the pin at 1:58. For some reason the loss was very entertaining.
Post break Goldust doesn’t think the team has any future. Truth thinks they need to get the creative juices flowing and that they need to get their “fing shooie” in line. Everyone wants the Golden Truth but here are Breeze and Fandango to say the new era is passing them by. That’s enough to convince Goldust to stick with it.
Here’s New Day for a chat and there’s something under a curtain behind them. They’re not sure what’s up with the Vaudevillains being from a new era…..so Woods has built a time machine. Big E: “That’s clearly an old refrigerator box.” Woods: “IT’S THE NEW DAYLOREAN!” Big E. thinks the keyboard is from Woods’ parents house. Big E.: “WHY IS IT STICKY???”
They get inside and Kofi comes out to his SOS theme with a Jamaican accent. Woods pulls him back in, despite Kofi’s protests that 2009 was his best year. They come back out (after a lot of whirring noises and the camera going wonky) in black and white with a box of Derriere Squares and broken smart phones. Woods realizes this means there are no video games so Big E. shouts that they shouldn’t be here. Cue the Vaudevillains to beat them down, ending a hilarious segment WAY too early.
Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
Reigns and AJ are at ringside. No Siva Tao for the Usos which is really odd to see. Jimmy superkicks Anderson to start and Gallows is knocked to the floor as well, giving us a meeting on the floor but not a break. Anderson takes over on Jimmy back inside, setting up a legdrop and chinlock for two. Something resembling a Whisper in the Wind puts Gallows down on the floor and Jimmy dives off the steps to drop him again. Anderson decks Jimmy and we get a lot of shouting to take us to a break.
Back with Luke crotching himself on the top rope and Anderson getting backdropped to the floor. Jey gets the tag and dives onto both of them, followed by the running Umaga Attack for two. Anderson breaks up a superplex attempt but charges into a spinebuster for two. Karl tries to run the ropes but eats a superkick with Gallows making the save. Gallows eats another superkick, followed by back to back double superkicks. The Superfly Splash ends Gallows at 12:48.
Rating: C+. I would say to never have them fight again but at this point they’ll probably have it again on Smackdown or at the pay per view. I’m really not sure why we needed the Usos to win here but I’m sure it’s something to do with teaching Gallows and Anderson their place in the company. It’s not like they can go anywhere else and be stars.
Post match the brawl keeps going with the tag teams being sent out to the floor. AJ picks up the chair but Reigns punches it out of his hands. Gallows and Anderson interfere but Roman drops them, allowing AJ to beat on Reigns with the chair, including a Styles Clash onto the chair.
Big Cass vs. D-Von Dudley
Before the match, Cass implies that D-Von is Steve Urkel. Bubba loads up an early table but gets on the apron for some near heel miscommunication. The East River Crossing puts D-Von away at 58 seconds.
Cass does S-A-W-F-T post match and you can see Enzo’s value deteriorating every second.
John Cena return video.
Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio
Non-title and Kalisto slips on the way to the ring. Del Rio goes after the mask to start before sending Kalisto outside. Kalisto comes back and tries a hurricanrana off the apron, only to get caught and swung into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Kalisto taking a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker so Del Rio can show off the biceps. We see Sin Cara watching in the back as Rusev blasts him in the back with a stick.
Del Rio forces Kalisto to watch the beating on the screen before going HARD into the post off a missed charge. Alberto takes way too long for the top rope double stomp though and Kalisto comes back with a top rope hurricanrana. Cue Rusev kicking Cara down the aisle as Kalisto springboards into a seated senton. The hurricanrana driver gets two but the Rusev distraction lets Del Rio get in a Backstabber for the pin at 11:12.
Rating: D. Another champion loses because that’s how you build a title match. I’m so glad we got this mini League of Nations reunion after all that time they spent tearing them apart. If there’s a reason that Kalisto is being destroyed like this it’s not being made clear enough and this loss really didn’t need to happen. I’m sure this is going to mean the world to Del Rio too, because a pin over a champion isn’t something that’s going to be forgotten a week later, right D-Von and Paige?
Rusev kicks Kalisto in the back of the head and gives him a PAINFUL look Accolade post match.
Here are Shane and Stephanie to moderate the Women’s Title contract signing in the closing segment. They introduce Charlotte but Ric Flair comes out for the big hyped up introduction. Charlotte thanks her dad for the speech and wants to sign but Shane brings out Natalya. Getting her history wrong, Natalya says Charlotte beat her before without Ric in her corner (Ric and Bret were at ringside for that match).
Charlotte goes on a rant about how this is her city and how everyone loves her because her last name is Flair. Ric starts WOOing but Charlotte actually cuts her off. The champ goes to sign the contract but there’s a clause saying that Charlotte forfeits the title if Ric takes one step down the aisle.
Cue security to drag Ric away and if he doesn’t leave, the title is forfeited right now. Ric yells at Stephanie and calls her the worst businesswoman of all time. It’s time to fight Shane and the fans go nuts, only to have Stephanie slap Ric instead. Now security takes him out but Natalya has to save Stephanie from Charlotte. The champ is put in the Sharpshooter and taps out to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was a long, hard show to sit through. It really feels like they ran out of ideas before we got to Extreme Rules and this was what we were stuck with instead. There’s very little that has my interest for Sunday and this show made that interest go down even further. I don’t know what they need to change at this point but a go home show with the Colons in a new gimmick and Breezango vs. Golden Truth really isn’t a good sign.
Results
Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn went to a no contest when Kevin Owens and Miz interfered
Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz
Shining Stars b. Scott Jackson/Brian Kennedy – Shining Star to Kennedy
Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch – Rollup
Breezango b. Golden Truth – Breeze pinned Goldust after R-Truth accidentally kicked him
Usos b. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson – Superfly Splash to Gallows
Alberto Del Rio b. Kalisto – Backstabber
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Monday Night Raw – May 9, 2016: It’s Hard Out There For A Champ
Monday Night Raw Date: May 9, 2016
Location: CenturyLink Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Things are still on a bit of a roll in WWE as we’re getting closer and closer to Extreme Rules in thirteen days. Last week saw Roman Reigns and the Usos trade six man tag team wins against AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows but it’s not clear how closely affiliated Styles is with his New Japan buddies. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of the six man tag and post match issues with Styles refusing to hit Reigns with a chair and getting powerbombed through the announcers’ table. The rematch on Smackdown isn’t mentioned whatsoever, as is usually the case.
Tonight we’ll see the same six man, albeit with elimination rules.
Here’s Chris Jericho to kick things off with the Highlight Reel. Dean Ambrose was supposed to be his guest but he’s still in the hospital. Jericho has a replacement though as he unveils the remains of Mitch the plant. They’re not all that dissimilar because they’re both in pieces and could be entertaining at times.
Jericho finds it amusing that the fans were more concerned about Mitch than Dean after last week. Ambrose has no value on his own but Jericho is the Haley’s comet of WWE: a once in a lifetime talent so drink him in. This brings out Colin Cassady of all people to say that if this is the gift of Jericho, you better give him the receipt with it. Cass talks about the new era and says Jericho is standing in his way.
Jericho thinks Cass should go visit his buddy Enzo Annoying in the hospital but that’s not cool with Cass, who wants to fight right now. Jericho tries to call himself the best in the world but Cass covers the microphone, leaving Jericho looking stunned. The jacket comes off but Jericho leaves. Cass calls him SAWFT to draw Jericho back in, earning himself a great looking boot to the face. This was a well done exchange, even though I can’t imagine Cass pinning Jericho in a match.
Post break Jericho goes to Stephanie to say Shane is trying to ruin this new era (that’s probably the eighth time they’ve used that word in about 22 minutes) but Stephanie likes everyone getting a new chance. Therefore tonight, Jericho is facing Big Cass (complete with Stephanie doing the catchphrases because this is the wacky, fun loving Stephanie) in the main event. Oh and Jericho should never, EVER, try to drive a wedge between Stephanie and her brother Shane again. I’m so glad she pointed out which brother it was in that totally natural way of speaking of hers.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
Before the match, Corbin says he’s the force in this new era. They start brawling early with Ziggler sending him outside and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Ziggler caught in a chinlock before Corbin just lays in with heavy right hands. Corbin ducks his head though and eats a Fameasser for two. The Zig Zag is countered into a big old Deep Six for two but Corbin stops to pose too much. Ziggler tries the same rollup he beat Corbin with the first time out but Corbin kicks out and plants him with the End of Days for the pin at 8:28.
Rating: C-. The match was fine but more importantly it’s the match that should have happened at Payback. However, why have Corbin destroy Ziggler on pay per view when you can have more 50/50 booking, likely setting up a third match? My guess is because Corbin needed to be taught some kind of lesson or whatever their latest reason is, or perhaps because the writers have no idea how to book new talent aside from trading wins with an established name.
We look back at Stephanie making Charlotte vs. Natalya at Extreme Rules in a submission match with Ric Flair banned from ringside.
Charlotte and Ric Flair come in to see Shane, who they think should reverse Stephanie’s decision. Shane thinks otherwise and bans Ric from ringside tonight as well.
Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows/AJ Styles regret not going after Reigns last week. Tonight the Club is back together.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
This is a preview match for Gorgeous Truth vs. Goldango on Smackdown. Of course it’s a danceoff to start with Truth (complete with gold hair tips) doing a spinning bunny hop. Fandango dropkicks him down and dances, drawing Goldust up to the apron for some swiveling of his own. Breeze gets up as well but gets knocked right back down, setting up the Lie Detector for the pin at 2:11. You know, this is a stupid feud but I’ll give them points for actually sticking with the thing. It’s harmless enough so let them get a story told.
Miz, Cesaro and Kevin Owens are with the McMahons and Stephanie makes a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title at Extreme Rules. Sami Zayn comes in to ask about making it a triple threat. He wants to be involved but Shane says he has to earn it, which he can by beating Miz tonight. Otherwise, Sami goes to the back of the line.
Paige vs. Charlotte
Non-title with Natalya on commentary. Paige quickly takes it to the floor and starts slugging away with forearms as Natalya talks about it being a beautiful day in Omaha. A big boot gets two for Charlotte, followed by some knees to the chest. Paige kicks her in the head for two more, followed by a good looking superplex for the same. Charlotte gets out of the PTO and grabs a rollup with her feet on the ropes, only to have Natalya break it up. Cue Ric Flair, allowing Charlotte to get in a backbreaker…..and here’s Shane to interrupt. Referees get Flair out of there and Paige grabs a rollup for the pin at 7:45.
Rating: C+. Yet again WWE manages to overbook things. This could have been the exact same match with Paige winning off a regular rollup and Ric not being involved. It even gives you a better story with Charlotte not being able to win on her own. I mean, it’s not like this is going to lead anywhere for Paige so why not go with the simpler story?
We look back at Cass and Jericho earlier.
Sami Zayn vs. The Miz
Non-title. Sami gets in some rollups for two early and headscissors Miz out to the floor. Miz bails to avoid the suicide dive and drives Sami’s back into the barricade instead. The moonsault off the barricade takes Miz down, only to have Maryse yell a lot as we take a break. Back with Sami being sent hard into the steps and barely beating the count back in. Miz kicks him in the face and gets in the short DDT for two.
The Figure Four is broken up and Sami gets a near fall of his own off the Michinoku Driver. Now the Figure Four goes on but Sami dives over and makes the rope. A sunset flip is blocked as Miz grabs the ropes, only to have the referee break it up. The exploder suplex into the corner sets up the Helluva Kick for the most obvious pin in a long time to send Sami to Extreme Rules at 12:58.
Rating: B-. I liked the match as usual but you could see the ending coming a mile away. After all, the only thing better than having one champion get pinned is to have TWO champions get pinned back to back in the span of half an hour. Sami winning is a good thing, though I can’t imagine he gets the title at the pay per view.
Becky Lynch doesn’t believe that the eye poke last week was an accident. Emma comes up to tell her that she really needs eyes in the back of her head. Cue the debuting Dana Brooke to lay Becky out and tell her that playtime is over.
We see Darren Young asking Bob Backlund to be his coach. As usual, Smackdown means nothing.
The Up Up Down Down crew shills Pizza Hut.
Zack Ryder is telling Shane that he knows he belongs when Kevin Owens comes in. Owens sums up the whole thing by asking Ryder why he exists. Shane’s decision is to make Owens vs. Ryder for the spot in the Intercontinental Title match tonight.
Roman Reigns and the Usos are ready to get rid of Gallows/Anderson before Reigns takes Styles out on his own.
Sin Cara vs. Rusev
Rusev suplexes him down a few times, followed by a bearhug and a fall away slam. Cara’s quick comeback goes a bit better than you would expect with Cara getting in a moonsault to send Rusev outside. A suicide dive looks to set up the Swanton but Rusev blasts him with a superkick. Lana starts yelling for no apparent reason, allowing Kalisto to kick Rusev in the head. Cara grabs a rollup for the pin upset at 3:45.
Rating: D. Does this show want to make my head hurt? Their big idea to make me want to see Rusev vs. Kalisto is to have Sin Cara beat him? I mean I know he just had a title match at Wrestlemania but this is still a stretch. This is the third straight match where the booking has somehow gotten worse and I have no idea who thinks this is the right idea.
Greetings From Puerto Rico. I have no idea if this is ever going anywhere but it might be nice to do something with it already.
Roman Reigns/Usos vs. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
Elimination rules. Jey smacks Karl in the face to start and it’s already off to Reigns, meaning the booing begins early. That goes nowhere so Jey powerslams Anderson for no cover, only to have Anderson get in an uppercut from the floor, allowing Anderson to roll Jey up with tights for the pin at 2:38. Now we get Reigns vs. Styles with a big shot sending AJ right back into the corner. It’s already off to Gallows to run over Jimmy, who rolls the legal Anderson up for the pin at 4:35 total.
Back from a break with just Jimmy having been eliminated during the break. Reigns wastes no time and Superman Punches Gallows for the elimination at 9:35. It’s down to one on one so AJ hits the strike rush and knocks Reigns out to the floor. That means it’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Reigns throws AJ across instead. This brings out Anderson with a chair to blast Reigns for the DQ at 11:43.
Rating: C+. The match was fine, albeit with your usually questionable eliminations ala a Survivor Series match. I do like the ending better than Reigns taking a fall, though I dread the eventual title match with the Usos and Club running in for twenty minutes before Reigns wins anyway.
Post break everyone but Reigns and Styles fight to the back, leaving AJ to load up a Styles Clash on the chair. Reigns backdrops him to the apron though, leaving them in a staredown with the chair between them. Roman picks it up and throws it to AJ’s feet. Styles tries the Forearm but Reigns grabs the chair, leaving AJ to bail to the floor.
Zack Ryder vs. Kevin Owens
The winner is in the Intercontinental Title match at Extreme Rules. Owens grabs a headlock to start (Owens: “NO ONE BREAKS MY HEADLOCK!”) before running Ryder over and dropping the backsplash. They head outside with Owens trying the apron powerbomb but getting backdropped instead. Back in and Owens blasts him in the back of the head with a clothesline but misses the Cannonball. Ryder takes him outside for the Broski Boot up against the barricade, followed by the top rope Elbro for two back inside. The Rough Ryder doesn’t work and it’s the Pop Up Powerbomb to end Ryder at 4:05.
Rating: D+. Yes yes, WWE. You’ve made it very clear that Ryder winning anything is nothing more than a pipe dream. You don’t have to pound it into our heads all over again like we’re stupid enough to believe it could actually go somewhere. I really don’t know why this needed to happen but Ryder getting beaten up every single week is almost more cruel than anything else at this point.
Big Cass says he’ll win tonight.
Here’s New Day for a chat, complete with Kofi twirling some unicorn horns like nunchucks. They’re not sure how to pronounce Vaudevillains but realize they’re the opponents at Extreme Rules for the WWE World Tag Team Championships. We get some bowing down to the last piece of BootyO’s before Big E. says the Vaudevillains are from an era that weren’t kind to people like them. Woods looks nervous but Big E. says he’s talking about smartphone users. Those are the kinds of phones you can use to call your Mammy and Pappy to tell them NEW DAY ROCKS.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
Non-title and joined in progress after a break with Bubba hammering on Kofi’s face. Bubba even dances a bit before it’s off to Big E. for a shoulder and the Warrior Splash. Kofi comes back in and eats D-Von’s spinning elbow for two, only to have Big E. launch him onto D-Von in the corner for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until D-Von gets caught in the Unicorn Stampede. Cue the Vaudevillains to go after Woods though, leaving D-Von to hit one heck of a clothesline for the pin on Kofi at 5:10.
Rating: D+. A champ just got pinned with a clothesline. You couldn’t have them get counted out while they chase the Vaudevillains off instead? Anyway, the match was watchable enough and set up some stuff going forward but it felt like they were just filling in time until Gotch and English ran out there.
Kofi gets the Whirling Dervish post match.
Chris Jericho vs. Colin Cassady
During Jericho’s entrance, someone attacks him and steals the jacket. For reasons of general stupidity, the announcers are stunned when it’s Dean Ambrose. Dean rips up the jacket and Jericho is so scared that he can’t come to the ring and save the thing. He finally charges now that the jacket is destroyed but gets beaten down for his efforts. Jericho gets in a shot to the face and grabs the jacket but runs into Cass on the floor. Cass feeds him into Dirty Deeds and Dean continues to destroy the jacket.
We’re still not done though as Shane and Stephanie…..have nothing to say.
Jericho yells a lot to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This show just kept going and felt like it would never die. Above all else though: three champions took falls tonight. Three of them. It should be a big deal when one of them gets pinned but instead we’re seeing it happen three times in one night. This show was a very long sit with a bunch of really questionable to flat out bad booking holding it back. I’m not sure where they need to go to fix a lot of these issues, but better choices in who wins what would be a great place to start. This was a really weak show and a big step back for WWE in recent weeks, which you kind of had to know was coming.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler – End of Days
R-Truth b. Fandango – Lie Detector
Paige b. Charlotte – Rollup
Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick
Sin Cara b. Rusev – Rollup
Roman Reigns/Usos b. AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows via DQ when Anderson hit Reigns with a chair
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder – Pop Up Powerbomb
Dudley Boyz b. New Day – Clothesline to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – May 2, 2016: The New Era Of Greatest Hits
Monday Night Raw Date: May 2, 2016
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re past Payback, meaning we have less than three weeks before Extreme Rules with a main event of AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns II for the World Title. The big story tonight though is the balance of power as Shane and Stephanie McMahon will be running the show together for the foreseeable future. I’m sure this will be fascinating. Let’s get to it.
This week’s recap, narrated for a change, talks about last night’s main event and the announcement of Shane and Stephanie sharing power.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Stephanie, carrying a present, to get things going. Before she can get anywhere though, here’s Shane with 100% less presents. The bickering starts early but Stephanie’s gift is for Shane. It’s…..the the picture of Vince holding Shane as a child that was broken up before Wrestlemania.
Before Shane can talk about his ideas for the night, here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt things. He has an idea of his own: a rematch for the Intercontinental Title. Owens appeals to Stephanie’s business sense and mentions having a contractually obligated rematch. This brings out Cesaro to say that Owens and Zayn cost him the Intercontinental Title last night. Shane makes a #1 contenders match right now.
Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
Miz and Maryse are on commentary. Cesaro immediately starts with the uppercuts across the ring, followed by another big one on the floor. Back in and Cesaro gets two off the high cross body but Owens goes after the shoulder to take over. The superkick and backsplash get two and it’s time to work on the arm a bit more. A quick strike exchange drops Cesaro but he crotches Owens on top.
Kevin cuts him off again with a Stunner over the top rope, followed by a frog splash off the apron as we take a break. Back with Owens hitting the Cannonball but running into the springboard uppercut. They head outside with Owens grabbing the title but Miz takes it away. That earns Miz an uppercut and it’s time for the champ to run in for the DQ at 11:30.
Rating: C. The match was fun while it lasted but at the same time there’s only so much you can do when you pretty much have a big clock counting down until Miz runs in for the DQ. That kind of stuff gets old quick, especially when this had the potential to be a really fun match between two power guys.
Post match Cesaro gets double teamed until Sami Zayn runs in for the save before holding up the title. This sets up the four way, even though there’s no logical reason for Sami to still be involved after losing last night. If they had gone with the logical move of Sami winning last night, you can still bring in Owens because of the required rematch. That’s too simple for WWE though so we get more illogical storytelling.
Dean Ambrose is in the back with Stephanie, who volunteers to be the guest on the Ambrose Asylum.
R-Truth and Tyler Breeze are in the back talking about selfie sticks (Truth’s has leaves) when Goldust comes in. Goldust insults Breeze a bit and a challenge is issued. Truth doesn’t like Goldust insulting his friend so Fandango comes in to be Goldust’s partner.
Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows say AJ was close to winning last night which makes AJ want it even more. They imply they’ll help in the rematch but Roman Reigns comes in to say he respects AJ but not the other two. The Usos come in and a challenge is made for a six man.
Goldust vs. Tyler Breeze
Fandango and R-Truth are here as the seconds. Truth gives Breeze a headband to start but Goldust knocks it off. Goldust: “WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER GIVE ME ONE OF THESE???” Truth doesn’t notice as he’s playing with the stick, which distracts Goldust enough for Tyler to get in a few shots. They start dancing at each other, allowing Breeze to grab a rollup for the pin at 1:49.
Here’s New Day to talk about their upcoming title defense against the Vaudevillains, who were awarded the match last night after Enzo’s injury. We see a clip of the injury, which seems to be just a concussion. If this wasn’t such a serious moment, Woods would be showing us all the nasty things Beyonce sent to him on Twitter last night…..but unfortunately that didn’t happen. What did happen though was Enzo being released from the hospital after all the other tests were negative.
This brings out the Vaudevillains with Aiden singing about how they’re going to win the titles. Apparently Enzo was the realest guy in the emergency room….and here are the Dudley Boyz to interfere. They say they didn’t see the Vaudevillains win anything last night after the match was ended fast. A fight is about to break out when Big Cass interrupts. He’s tired of hearing about the Vaudevillains taking out his family and the brawl is quickly on.
Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains vs. New Day/Colin Cassady
Joined in progress with Woods working over Gotch and bringing in Kofi for a kick to the chest. Big E. comes in for the splash before it’s time for the Unicorn Stampede. Kofi gets in a running dropkick in the corner but Bubba kicks Woods in the face to take over. English comes in for a superkick as the heels start taking turns on Woods. A dropkick finally gets Xavier out of trouble, only to have D-Von drop an elbow on his back to stop the tag. The middle rope elbow misses though and there’s the hot tag off to Kofi. Everything breaks down and Kofi gets sent out to the floor in a heap as we take a break.
Back with Kofi still in trouble and Gotch holding him in place for a D-Von elbow drop. Kofi finally dropkicks the Vaudevillains down and it’s off to Cass to clean house. English is sent flying off a fall away slam, followed by a big boot the face. Everything breaks down again with Bubba suplexing Cass, only to have Kofi springboard in to break up 3D. Cass’ East River Crossing puts D-Von away at 14:32.
Rating: B. These guys were actually rolling out there with eight people in a match that made sense. New Day continues to be awesome and should be in for a good match against the Vaudevillains, though I can’t imagine they’ll actually drop the titles. Enzo coming back will get an eruption and the injury makes them feel like even more of an underdog team, which fits in with them so perfectly.
We look back at the main event which set up Styles’ rematch at Extreme Rules.
Now we look at the Montreal Screwjob finish to the Women’s Title match. You all know the Montreal Screwjob. I mean, WWE certainly thinks you do because they’re certainly not going to explain it because they know that every fan, including those under the age of 18, have gone back and looked at every bit of the company’s history ever. We do however get a clip of Charles Robinson as Little Naitch from back in the day to actually explain the screwjob.
Emma vs. Becky Lynch
Apparently they’ve been arguing on Twitter lately. Becky quickly knocks her to the floor and does her head shaking dance, only to get pulled off the middle rope to change control. A butterfly suplex gets two on Becky and we hit a half nelson of all things. Emma sends her hard into the corner for the Emma Sandwich and a near fall. Becky gets all fired up and forearms her in the corner, followed by an exploder suplex for two. A quick poke to the eye slows Becky down though and a Michinoku Driver puts Becky away at 5:45.
Rating: C+. Would it be the worst idea in the world to let some of these other Four Horsewomen win something now and then? I mean, I know we have to wait on Sasha because of….uh, reasons, but do they also have to have Becky losing most of the time? At least it was someone like Emma getting the win and not one of the lower level women but we need to have Becky get a win here or there. Sasha actually wrestling would be nice too.
Greetings From Puerto Rico.
Here’s Dean Ambrose for the Asylum with Stephanie as his guest. Stephanie talks about how happy she is so Dean shows us a shot from Wrestlemania where Reigns speared her. That was the result of Stephanie being overzealous and she does her corporate speech about how awesome WWE is because of loyalty.
Dean goes on a long rant about loyalty and asks how many sacrifices Stephanie has made. I mean, yeah she’s made a ton but Shane has made all of the same sacrifices over the years. That must make Stephanie mad because now she and Shane are exactly the same. Stephanie isn’t happy with this so she cancels the Asylum and brings out Jericho for the Highlight Reel once again. Dean gets in a brawl with him of course but walks into a Codebreaker. Jericho breaks Mitch over Dean’s head in the ultimate act of evil.
Battle Royal
Apollo Crews, Darren Young, Alberto Del Rio, Damien Sandow, Stardust, Titus O’Neil, Zack Ryder, Sheamus, Curtis Axel, Rusev, Dolph Ziggler, Sin Cara, Baron Corbin, Viktor, Bo Dallas,
For the #1 contendership to the US Title and I think I have everyone involved. Kalisto is on commentary and it’s Viktor quickly being eliminated. Sandow is sent out a few seconds later and Crews gets rid of Stardust. Darren gets eliminated and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Crews out for a bit of a surprise.
Someone puts Sheamus out off camera but he slides back in with no issue. Ziggler superkicks Corbin over the top for an elimination but Corbin pulls him outside under the ropes and beats the tar out of him. For a nice change of pace, Corbin is smart enough to throw the half dead Ziggler back in so Rusev can get the official elimination as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus eliminating Titus (great use of his comeback) and Del Rio hitting his double stomp on Axel for a quick elimination. Cara tosses Dallas and we’re down to Cara, Rusev, Del Rio, Sheamus and Ryder. A spinning cross body puts Rusev down and a springboard moonsault does the same to Sheamus and Del Rio.
There’s an Irish Curse to Ryder but not enough for an elimination. Cara makes the eternally stupid mistake of going to the top, allowing Del Rio to shove him out and get us down to four. We’ve got the former League of Nations and Ryder, meaning Sheamus thinks they should join forces again. Ryder gets stomped down but hangs onto the top rope, leaving the League to fight each other.
Del Rio gets in a Backstabber on Rusev but walks into a Rough Ryder. Rusev spinwheel kicks Ryder down though and all four are still in it. The jumping superkick and a regular superkick are enough to get rid of Sheamus, followed by another superkick to send Del Rio to the floor. Ryder puts Alberto out and we’re down to Ryder vs. Rusev, sending the fans into a short lived frenzy. Rusev charges into some knees in the corner and a missile dropkick puts Rusev down. The Broski Boot actually connects but Rusev no sells it and throws Ryder out for the win at 13:38.
Rating: C. This was actually awesome stuff (for a battle royal) with some great drama near the end, even though I’m sick of seeing the League of Nations guys in these spots. Putting the title back on Rusev would make sense as it was his best time ever in the company, but it really does feel like we’re taking a big step back in time if he wins the belt again.
Here are Charlotte and Ric Flair to address the end of last night’s title match. Charlotte really doesn’t see the controversy in the decision so here’s Charles Robinson to explain his actions. Charles says Natalya was screaming to stop it last night and that counts as a submission. Robinson gets a bit confused about whether his admiration for Ric had anything to do with his decision so here’s a CHEATER chant for him.
That’s enough from Charles so here’s Natalya to say this is all about Ric. Well of course it is. I mean, he’s RIC FLAIR. Whether he wants to admit it or not, Bret is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Charlotte goes after Natalya but gets sent to the floor, leaving Ric to take off his gear. Natalya slaps him in the face and puts on a Sharpshooter before Charlotte gets her dad out of there. The Flairs leave so Natalay grabs Ric’s Hall of Fame ring and Rolex.
After the announcers shill for WWE, Stephanie makes Charlotte vs. Natalya in a submissions match at Extreme Rules. As a bonus, Ric is banned from ringside. Stephanie’s request for a WOO is denied.
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows vs. Usos/Roman Reigns
AJ and Reigns get things going with Styles grabbing a headscissors but easily being thrown off. Some kicks to the leg have Reigns in trouble so it’s off to Gallows for a battle of uppercuts. Jey comes in for his running forearm in the corner, only to dive into a big boot for two. It’s time for the big standoff on the floor after Jey is thrown over the top and we take a break.
Back with Anderson hammering away on Jey before it’s off to AJ. The beatdown is on and Styles doesn’t seem to like the idea of his buddies breaking up a tag. The distraction lets Jey get in a superkick to set up the tag off to Reigns. House is quickly cleaned with Roman beating everyone away until Anderson kicks him in the face for two.
AJ gets a blind tag but eats a tilt-a-whirl slam for his efforts. There’s a Superman punch to Gallows but Jimmy comes in off another blind tag with a high cross body for two on AJ. The Boot of Doom into the flapjack sends Reigns into the barricade, leaving AJ to hit the Phenomenal Forearm to the pin on Jimmy at 11:30.
Rating: B-. Another good match here as they let things break down a bit before the ending. I like the idea of the Usos being the lower level guys who can’t keep up with Anderson and Gallows while Reigns is enough to take out any of them but not enough to take out everyone at once. It’s a simple story and the feud is working well but I can’t imagine it ending with anything other than Reigns standing tall again.
Post match Anderson and Gallows give AJ a chair before holding Reigns. AJ can’t do it so the beatdown is on again. The Usos come in and get the chair to knock AJ down (it wasn’t clear if they saw him throw it away). AJ gets back up and hits them with the chair, earning himself a Superman punch. Reigns isn’t done yet though and loads up the announcers’ table for a powerbomb to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good tonight but it really feels like we’re just heading to Payback II with more McMahons walking us through things. That’s the difference between Shane and Stephanie: Shane seems like he’s telling us what’s going to happen and Stephanie has to explain every single thing to you because you’re not that bright. The show was still entertaining and Extreme Rules is going to be fun but they really need to get to the point with the McMahon stuff, which means we’re likely waiting at least another three months on any major developments.
Results
Cesaro b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Miz interfered
Tyler Breeze b. Goldust – Rollup
New Day/Colin Cassady b. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains – East River Crossing to D-Von
Emma b. Becky Lynch – Michinoku Driver
Rusev won a battle royal last eliminating Zack Ryder
AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows b. Usos/Roman Reigns – Phenomenal Forearm to Jimmy
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Payback 2016 Date: May 1, 2016 Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re off to the first pay per view after Wrestlemania and things are kind of on a roll around here. The main event is Roman Reigns defending the WWE World Title against AJ Styles with the question of whether or not Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows will be interfering on AJ’s behalf. Other than that we find out who will be in control of Monday Night Raw going forward between the Authority and Shane McMahon. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
This was bumped from the main card earlier today. Corbin tosses him around to start and gets two off a hard right hand. Ziggler’s comeback is easily cut off with a modified hot shot as Corbin keeps casually walking around. A heavy clothesline sets up the chinlock to keep Corbin on Ziggler’s neck.
Ziggler gets out and grabs a sleeper for a bit, followed by a Fameasser for two. They head outside with Ziggler loading up a dive but getting kicked out of the air. Corbin loads up a powerbomb but it’s the old Big Show Alley Oop to send Ziggler face first into the post for a good looking crash. For some reason Baron takes way too much time getting back in, allowing Ziggler to roll Corbin up for the pin at 7:43.
Rating: C-. The match was a nicely done big man beatdown for the most part and then they do THAT ending? I don’t know how to make this any clearer to WWE but Dolph Ziggler isn’t going anywhere and it’s long past due to stop giving him wins like this. Corbin could be something on the main roster but now he’s losing his first major match less than a month after debuting. I’m sure it’s a surprise though and that’s what WWE must be going for, along with annoying the NXT fans who think they understand wrestling.
Pre-Show: US Title: Kalisto vs. Ryback
Kalisto is defending after Ryback beat him in a non-title match a few weeks back on Smackdown. The crowd is really not pleased to see Ryback here and bust out the tried and true GOLDBERG chants. Ryback blasts him with a right hand to start (that sounds so familiar) but Kalisto gets in a monkey flip to send Ryback outside.
A suicide dive sets up a springboard corkscrew plancha with Ryback barely getting underneath him in time to keep Kalisto from bouncing off the apron. Back in and a tornado DDT is countered into a suplex for two as we take a break. We come back to see Ryback sending him shoulder first into the post, only to grab a spinning DDT to put both guys down.
They head to the apron with Kalisto hitting a nice enziguri and another DDT to send Ryback onto the apron (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”). Ryback comes up holding his shoulder but Kalisto goes with a spinning kick to the face and the hurricanrana driver for two. The Salida Del Sol is countered into a Shell Shock attempt but Kalisto flips out of that as well, only to eat a spinebuster for two. Ryback goes up for some reason but gets kicked in the head again to slow him down. Kalisto goes up as well and is promptly gorilla pressed face first onto the mat. The top rope splash misses though and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 9:28.
Rating: B. That was an AWESOME match with both guys working very hard throughout. Now the problem here is WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??? Kalisto is another name on a long list of lame duck champions who never get to do anything with the title because they either never defend the thing or lose their non-title matches. At the same time, Ryback continues to flounder in his latest heel run because WWE keeps cutting his legs off in matches like this. Still though, awesome match and one of the best pre-show matches they’ve ever done.
The opening video is Bray Wyatt talking about how payback is the first thing we think of every day and how much it consumes all of us. This must have been made weeks ago.
Here’s the New Day to open things up. They’ll be down at ringside watching and sipping on some lemonade like Becky with the good hair. Woods offers his services to help Beyonce get back at Jay-Z for cheating on her and Big E. hits the catchphrases.
Now we get a normal opening video with the standard highlight packages on the big stuff.
Tag Team Tournament Finals: Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Vaudevillains
The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Enzo: “If my aunt had hair on her back, she’d be my uncle.” The Vaudevillains need to get in their DeLorean and go back to the future and Cass thinks they’re posing like Hey Arnold. Cass: “You never should have gotten off the stoop!” After saying they never should have left their stoop (another Hey Arnold reference), Cass calls the SAWFT to get us going.
Enzo and Gotch start things off with Simon working on the arm before it’s off to the partners. The tag to Cass is treated as a big deal but everything breaks down with Cass throwing Enzo at both guys. Enzo gets sent hard out to the floor with his head hitting the bottom rope in an ugly crash. He isn’t moving and a stretcher is brought out as the match is called off at about four minutes. I won’t be rating this due to the time and the injury but it was fine while it lasted.
The announcers talk for a good while with the camera only showing Enzo for a few moments at a time.
Long video on Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens, the same one that aired on Raw and Smackdown.
Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
They slug it out immediately and Kevin is sent outside for a big flip dive. JBL starts talking about a tiger attacking Roy of Siegfried and Roy, including ripping off Chris Rock’s line of “that tiger went tiger.” Back in and Owens gets in a hard shot before dropping Sami face first onto the apron. Zayn is sent hard into the steps as Cole tells us that Enzo is talking and moving his extremities. That’s such a relief.
Back in and Owens poses a lot while asking why Sami isn’t getting payback yet. A chinlock slows things down and it’s Sami slugging away with forearms. The hard clothesline puts Kevin down but Sami can’t follow up. Referee: “YOU GUYS GOOD?” Owens: “Shut up!” Sami hammers away in the corner before a Michinoku Driver (called the Blue Thunder Bomb by Cole) gets two.
The real Blue Thunder Bomb gets two more and Owens’ brainbuster onto the knee gets the same. Kevin drops a frog splash and a couple of Cannonballs (JBL: “He may roll a perfect game!”) but the Pop Up powerbomb is countered with a dropkick. The half and half suplex sends Kevin flying but he pops up and clotheslines Sami inside out. Another powerbomb is countered into a rollup as you can feel the chemistry here. These two just know each other so well and there’s nothing that can replace that.
Sami’s tornado DDT is countered into a backbreaker and Kevin’s face turns evil. A third powerbomb, this time onto the apron, is countered again with a backdrop to send Kevin spine first onto the apron and then the floor. The diving tornado DDT plants Kevin again but Kevin superkicks his head off and finally gets the powerbomb for the pin at 14:28.
Rating: A-. I was really feeling this one as both guys beat the tar out of each other for a long time and told an awesome story of knowing each other so well. I would have had Sami go over here but you really can’t go wrong with either guy winning. Both of them will be fine and Sami is the one who can lose most of his matches and be fine at the end.
Post match Kevin beats him up some more and demands that Byron bring him a mic. Kevin: “Ask me about beating Sami Zayn right now!” Byron, who is taller than Owens, asks if the rivalry is over. Owens: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO SAY!” Kevin says he finally proved that he’s the better man between the two of them and now he can refocus on getting back his Intercontinental Title. Byron asks if Kevin thinks Miz will retain the title, which Kevin takes as an invitation to do commentary on the next match.
Intercontinental Title: Cesaro vs. The Miz
Miz is defending and there isn’t much of a story here other than Cesaro wants the title. Miz goes for the shoulder to start but Cesaro shoves him away and shakes a finger at him. The delayed vertical suplex gets two (Owens: “He can keep him up for awhile but he can’t keep him down for three.”) followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the same.
Miz gets in a shot on the arm and cranks away on the shoulder as Owens is asked who he would rather face for the title. Owens: “I would rather face you but that’s not going to happen.” Back up and Miz poses a bit before hitting the sleeper. Cesaro gets caught in a bodyscissors but casually picks Miz up and throws him off for the break.
We hit the uppercuts with Owens saying he never wants to take another one of those. Cole: “Well if Cesaro wins you’ll have to…” Owens: “COLE STOP TELLING ME WHAT I’LL HAVE TO DO!” A running dropkick gets two on Miz as Owens calls Miz Mike by mistake. Byron interprets this as Owens cheering for his friend. Owens: “Byron go call your mom or something because no one else wants to listen to you.”
The spinning uppercut sets up Swiss Death for a very close two but Cesaro goes shoulder first into the post. Miz gets the Finale for two but here’s Sami Zayn to go after Owens and fight him into the crowd. Cesaro swings Miz for a long time and puts on a Crossface but Owens and Zayn get on the apron to distract the referee as Miz taps. The distraction lets Miz roll Cesaro up for the pin at 10:26.
Rating: C+. DANG IT WWE STOP DOING STUPID THINGS! This should have been the biggest layup on the card but instead they’ll keep the title on Miz because we haven’t waited long enough to give Cesaro a major win. This is up there with the League of Nations beating New Day at Wrestlemania on the scale of stupid booking decisions. I’m a big Miz fan but they should have changed the title here and moved on to Owens vs. Cesaro vs. Zayn. On a more positive note, this was some of the funniest commentary I’ve ever heard as Owens is one of the best jerk heels in years.
Owens and Zayn keep fighting and Sami takes another Pop Up Powerbomb. Maryse has to save Miz from a powerbomb of his own.
We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho which started when Ambrose took over the Highlight Reel and turned it into the Ambrose Asylum. Jericho doesn’t like the idea of someone upstaging him and the match was set up as a result.
Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose
Jericho bails to the floor to start so Dean chases him back inside and hits an early cross body. Chris crawls over to the referee for protection before dropping Dean ribs first across the top rope. We hit the chinlock on Dean for a bit but Jericho’s bulldog is countered with a shove into the corner. Byron talks about both guys’ documented careers, prompting JBL to say that it’s documented because he and Cole have talked about him. Your lesson for this match: JBL needs to let Kevin Owens do the heel commentary.
Dean gets two off a bulldog of his own but the top rope elbow is countered into the Walls. A rope is eventually grabbed and Jericho is sent to the floor for the suicide dive. They head to the announcers’ table with Jericho trying the Walls but settling for a catapult over the barricade for a big crash. As expected, Dean dives back in at nine before escaping the Codebreaker.
The rebound lariat puts both guys down for a breather. Now the top rope elbow gets two but Jericho grabs the Walls again, only to have Dean make the ropes again. The enziguri and butterfly backbreaker get two each for Chris but Dean gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. An awkward sequence (with Jericho laying on Dean’s knees) sets up Dirty Deeds for the pin on Chris at 18:18.
Rating: C. It really is amazing how much damage that loss to Lesnar did to Ambrose as I just do not care about him anymore. This match went on for a LONG time and didn’t go anywhere other than two people doing moves (and missing a lot of them) for the better part of twenty minutes. Dean winning is the right call, even if it makes Jericho going over AJ last month all the more confusing.
Jericho throws a fit post match.
Sasha Banks is talking to Shane McMahon.
Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Natalya
Charlotte is defending and has Ric Flair in her corner while Natalya has her uncle Bret Hart in hers. Charlotte WOOs at her to start but Natalya grabs the Sharpshooter. That’s flipped away so Natalya nips up to scare the champ a bit. Another takedown sets up a leg lock for a bit before Charlotte bails to the floor. A chase results in Natalya getting kicked on the way back in but the fans would rather have Sasha.
They trade some chops until Natalya sends her flying with a release German suplex. Charlotte starts in on the leg (“Hey Bret, you want to learn something?”) but takes too much time bragging and gets caught in an armbar. Natalya shoves her off the top for a big crash, allowing Flair to tell some fans to keep their mouths shut. Charlotte loads up a powerbomb onto the apron but Natalya counters into something resembling a hurricanrana on the floor.
Back in and a boot to the face stops Natalya’s discus lariat, only to have a slap (yes a slap) break up the Figure Eight. A quick Natural Selection gets two for the champ, followed by that great looking moonsault for the same. The Figure Four is put on but quickly reversed so Charlotte puts on Natalya…..AND IT’S FREAKING MONTREAL with Charles Robinson (a noted Flair megafan) ringing the bell without Natalya tapping to retain the title at 13:04.
Rating: C+. MONTREAL. It’s been nearly twenty years and they’re STILL doing that thing again? Would it freaking kill them to just put Sasha in the title hunt instead of giving us Natalya vs. Charlotte IV or whatever it’s going to be at Extreme Rules? Bret did absolutely nothing here and the whole thing feels like a huge waste of time and effort.
Bret and Natalya put on matching Sharpshooters post match. I’m so glad Natalya got over that loss in all of 14 seconds.
Here’s Vince for his decision on the control of Raw but the fans cut him off with a CM PUNK chant. Vince talks about how amazing Raw is but gets cut off again, prompting him to ask how long it can go. Vince: “COME ON! YOU’VE GOT MORE THAN THAT!” He talks about all the different eras Raw has gone through and thinks it’s time for a new visionary. Vince brings out Stephanie to even more booing.
The fans are pleased with the idea of Reigns spearing Stephanie at Wrestlemania but she doesn’t want their support or sympathy. Stephanie brags about her success, including the debut of the Shield and the Divas Revolution. Their biggest success was the launch of the WWE Network which went from an idea to 1.8 million subscribers. That brings her to Shane, whose only qualification to run Raw is being a man. After the better part of five minutes, Stephanie brings up Shane blackmailing Vince to get back into the company after leaving for seven years. Cue Shane to break up the BORING chants.
Shane shows a bunch of media clips about how he’s made wrestling cool again. That brings him back to the WWE Network comment, which was Vince’s idea. Of those 1.8 million subscribers, we’ve got about 18,000 of them in the house tonight. Oddly enough, a lot of those people came on board around Wrestlemania XXXII, which was probably due to one match in particular. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” Stephanie: “Thank you, yes I do!”
Shane brings up the departure in 2007 and says it was due to his voice being ignored. In the void he left, the Authority took over and promptly ran the company into the ground. Shane came back to save the company’s future for all of the future McMahon generations. The fans are entirely behind Shane of course but Vince says Shane shouldn’t be here after the loss to Undertaker.
Then Shane came out the night after Wrestlemania and was handed Raw because he would fall on his face. However, Vince didn’t think Shane failed that badly but he doesn’t listen to these people. Vince wants to see them slit each others’ throats and disembowel each other…..so they’ll both be running the show together. Shane and Stephanie shake hands before leaving.
Pre-show recap.
We recap the World Title match. Reigns won the title at Wrestlemania and AJ became #1 contender the next night at Raw. The twist has been the debut of Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, AJ’s former partners in the Bullet Club in New Japan, who attacked Reigns multiple times. AJ has denied being behind it but Reigns doesn’t buy it.
Enzo has been diagnosed with a concussion but all other tests have come back negative.
WWE World Title: AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns is defending. AJ cranks on a headlock to start but is easily shoved away. Styles starts kicking at the legs but it’s still a standoff in the early going. They do a quick chase around ringside and AJ gets in a few kicks to briefly take over. A hard clothesline turns AJ inside out and a big old sitout powerbomb gets two. The Superman punch is countered with a quick enziguri (cool visual there) and AJ’s strike rush sets up the low forearm for two on the champ.
AJ elbows out of a Samoan drop and gets the Calf Crusher, sending Roman crawling to the ropes. Reigns bails to the floor and eats a GREAT looking Phenomenal Forearm to send both guys through the table in a big crash. AJ tries to throw Reigns back in but it’s a countout win for Styles….until Shane comes out to make this match no countouts. Ignore the fact that he runs RAW and not pay per views of course.
They get back in with AJ not being able to hit anything off the top. Another strike rush sets up a 450 but Reigns gets the knees up for two. AJ is up first but dives into a right hand below the belt for a DQ. As you might expect, here’s Stephanie to say not so fast because we’re restarting it with no disqualifications. Oh yeah it’s going to be all about the McMahons.
Reigns takes him outside and sends AJ into the steps before kicking him over the barricade and into the crowd. Thankfully Reigns doesn’t follow him to avoid being murdered. AJ kicks him again and they head back inside, only to have another Phenomenal Forearm countered with a Superman punch. Again, that looked GREAT. A second Superman punch drops AJ but here are Gallows and Anderson to go after Roman.
The champ is beaten down and another Phenomenal Forearm gets two with Reigns putting his foot on the ropes. Cue the Usos to go after Anderson and Gallows but Reigns shoves AJ onto all four of them to break up the fight. Now Reigns does his own big dive to take out the pile so AJ throws him inside for a springboard 450 (Not a shooting star Cole. Come on now that’s not even close.) and another near fall. Another Forearm misses and the spear puts AJ down at 24:58.
Rating: A. Oh yeah this was awesome with Reigns being the perfect foil for someone like AJ and his high flying offense. It’s clear that we’re getting a big gimmick rematch in three weeks at Extreme Rules but at least the first match was excellent stuff. Shane and Stephanie interfering was really annoying but that’s exactly what you have to expect going forward because they’re like interesting or something. Great match here though and better than I was expecting.
Reigns poses until we cut to the back where Shane and Stephanie make AJ vs. Reigns II in an Extreme Rules match for the title. Shane supports Stephanie’s decision to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Well that was…..something indeed. There was a lot of good action but the booking decisions (Miz and Montreal) really brought things down. AJ vs. Reigns and Owens vs. Zayn were both excellent but my goodness the McMahon drama feels like something that is going to go on for the better part of ever. I had a good enough time watching it though and the wrestling in the two big matches really brought things up. Find a way to fix the booking (read as STOP DOING STUPID THINGS) and this show goes through the roof.
Results
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Vaudevillains went to a no contest when Amore was injured
Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb
Miz b. Cesaro – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Dean Ambrose b. Chris Jericho – Dirty Deeds
Charlotte b. Natalya – Sharpshooter
Roman Reigns b. AJ Styles – Spear
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