Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s pretty much New Year’s Day in WWE after everything came to a big conclusion last night. We’re officially in the Roman Reigns Era (part three) and hopefully that means a little break from the Authority. The other interesting thing will be seeing where the McMahons go from here because they’re the real stars of this show. Let’s get to it.

Again I was in the arena for this show so my perspective might be a bit different.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, because what else are they going to start with?

Opening sequence.

The announcers tell us that the crowd is going to be “non-traditional” tonight. Translation: “Please don’t listen to the fans booing Reigns. He’s really AWESOME!” JBL says they’re just having fun. If fun means chanting for the Sheraton Hotel room that came in their travel packages, followed by a TRAVEL PACKAGE chant, I’d rather sign up for misery.

Here’s Vince to get things going and the fans actually sing his theme song. Vince: “Exactly the same chance my son had against the Undertaker!” He brings up Reigns winning the title and the fans are really not pleased. However, as of this morning the lock box is all taken care of, save for explaining what the heck that’s about. Last night was a great night but seeing his grandsons out there with Shane got to him a bit. It almost got to him when Shane climbed the Cell, which of course draws a Shane O’Mac chant.

Vince promises that tonight is a night we’ll never forget and goes to leave but Shane slowly limps out to cut him off. The fans thank Shane but he wants to shake Vince’s hand (“Since I’m the only man in the family.”) because Vince won at Wrestlemania. Shane thanks the fans and goes to leave but Vince cuts him off and blames the fans for what happened last night. Vince cuts him off again and says no one upstages him. He’s often thought how insane it would be to have Shane running Raw…..so let’s see how bad it can get.

Yes Shane is now in charge of Raw, completely negating A MONTH AND A HALF of storylines, along with erasing the point of last night’s Cell match. It’s almost like they booked themselves into a stupid corner with the story and had to find a way out of it while completely throwing logic out the window. This is the kind of nonsense that gets old in a hurry because I basically spent a month and a half trying to make sense of this stuff and then they say “oh never mind because we’re just doing what Vince was so scared of because.” Why? Just because. That drives me crazy but it happens far too often around here.

Here’s New Day for a talk before their title defense. Woods now has a smaller horn for reasons that aren’t likely to be explained. Maybe Vince just lost his mind and felt it should be smaller. The fans do the HEY! WE WANT SOME NEW DAY song before Big E. says things didn’t go according to plan last night.

Kofi did get to twerk with Shawn Michaels but Woods took a Stunner. Woods: “Upon further review of the tape, I have to admit….that it was pretty much my own fault.” However, they now have the last piece of Bootyo’s from last night, which will be playing the role of Simba as Woods hums Circle of Life from Lion King. It’s one of my all time favorites and the fans dug the heck out of that bit.

Tag Team Titles: King Barrett/Sheamus vs. New Day

The challengers come out after a break but first we get to see Lillian dancing with New Day, which she actually did twice. Kofi and Sheamus go into the corner to start as the announcers talk about the Shane story because the Tag Team Titles aren’t interesting enough. Everything breaks down and the League is sent outside, followed by Kofi being launched over the top (complete with fanfare from Woods) for a big crash.

Sheamus gets back up and knocks Kofi off the top for a crash but thankfully Woods is there to reassure him that the Bootyo is magical. Kofi fights back on Barrett but gets kicked hard in the ribs. We take a break and come back with the Wave going on in the background. Even Sheamus gets in on it, which actually causes Woods to get the mic and say if you like the Wave you like Sheamus.

This was the second time he said something like that after he had to get the fans to stop chanting Rocksteady during the break. To his credit, the crowd stopped cold both times so that seems to be the solution to the annoying chants. Kofi kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag as the fans are busy chanting about how awesome they are. Big E. starts in with the suplexes and the Warrior splash, followed by a whip to send Barrett into Sheamus. The Midnight Hour retains the titles at 8:45.

Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m sick of seeing these groups fight. There has to be someone else that New Day can fight, even if it’s some pairing of two big heels. The League just isn’t interesting no matter how many times they call themselves the lads or spin their fingers around their heads. New Day is way over but they’re getting into that Edge and Christian territory of having no one to feud with. At least they’re getting a nice long reign out of it though and with those shirts selling as strong as they do, the team isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Post match Sheamus says he’s had it with all this losing. Every time he looks at one of these losses, he sees one weak link and that’s going to change. That means a Brogue Kick to Barrett, which draws out the Wyatts to destroy the remainder of the League, complete with the fans singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. So there’s the face turn for the Wyatts, though let’s look at this League thing for a minute.

Did Sheamus forget that whole THEY WON AT WRESTLEMANIA part? Barrett knocked Woods silly to set up the win but now he’s kicked out after one loss? As has been proven already, it seems that New Day should have won at Wrestlemania to set this up, especially since they won here like the Wrestlemania match meant nothing. It’s bad storytelling and really should have been fixed before it became a stupid moment.

Vince goes to leave the arena but tells Renee Young that Shane is only in charge temporarily. He’s leaving early because this is going to be a disaster and he doesn’t want to watch the ship go down.

Summer Rae vs. Sasha Banks

Summer actually gets promo time and says if she was in charge of Bad and Blonde last night, they wouldn’t have wound up flat on their faces like Sasha did. Banks is back in the shorts tonight. She grabs the mic away from Summer and reminds us that she is in fact the Boss before slapping Summer in the face. Summer begs off like a heel should and suckers Sasha in to a neck snap across the middle rope. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds in but Sasha is quickly up with a snapmare and running knees to the chest for two. The Bank Statement makes Summer tap at 1:40.

Shane McMahon is talking to Apollo Crews.

Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze

This is Crews’ main roster debut after only a few months down in NXT. Then again when you have those natural gifts, it’s not expected that you’ll see him in developmental that long. Crews starts fast with a pop up powerslam for two, followed by a suplex from Breeze for the same. We’re already in the chinlock and it would be nice for Crews to at least look….something. He’s just kind of there and ignoring that someone has him in a chinlock. Crews pops up with the gorilla press and standing moonsault, followed by the lifting powerbomb for the pin at 1:52. Typical debut squash.

Clips of Charlotte and Roman Reigns on the Today Show.

Here’s Reigns to open the second hour with even louder booing than the previous night. During the entrance, JBL says Reigns is so happy to finally be on top of the mountain. That would be back on top of the mountain actually because this is his third reign which is supposed to mean more than the first two. The people boo him again but Reigns says he’s not a bad guy. He’s not a good guy either. No he’s just THE guy because he won the World Title in the biggest Wrestlemania of all time. If anyone wants to come get this title from him, he’s not going anywhere.

This brings out Chris Jericho, who brags about all his successes, which are far stronger than anything Reigns has ever done. Jericho stops though and calls out the fans for their stupid chants because they’re not going to hijack the show. Fans: “WE ARE IDIOTS!” Jericho rips on the internet favorite AJ Styles, which brings out Styles himself.

Before he can say anything though, here’s Kevin Owens. Again nothing is said though because Sami Zayn comes out, likely due to his leash to Owens getting a bit too tight. Owens and Zayn go right at it and fight to the floor with Zayn hitting a big flip dive. AJ is sent outside and Jericho eats a spear.

Of note: Zayn seemed to land awkwardly on that flip dive and BOLTED to the back with his arm dangling by his side. He ran off while the lights were down so most people couldn’t see him but it was definitely visible.

We look back at Vince agreeing to let Shane run Raw.

Back from a break and Shane makes a four way between Zayn, Owens, Jericho and Styles for the #1 contendership. Reigns thinks that’s just fine.

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Corbin says all you need to know about him is this trophy. Ziggler hammers away in the corner but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. A forearm knocks Ziggler off the apron and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in a nerve hold and the fans cheering for a beach ball because some nitwit fan felt the need to pull one out and bat it around.

This would be during the Raw debut of an NXT talent that the same people probably begged to be promoted for months while chanting for NXT. I’d also be willing to bet that they’ll blame Vince for not pushing Corbin properly while Vince’s reaction is “they saw him in his first match and would rather play with a beach ball.” BUT THEY’RE JUST HAVING FUN! Anyway Corbin misses a charge and hits the post, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Deep Six gets the same for Corbin and they head outside into the crowd for the double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward one as Ziggler was kind of being squashed but is too big of a star for that treatment and tried to fight back but couldn’t make it work. Corbin looked good but I’m not sure why they didn’t just have him get the win here. It’s not like Ziggler can’t bounce back from a dozen losses or anything like that so just give Corbin the big win here. At least he didn’t lost though.

Post match Corbin gives him the End of Days on the floor.

We look back at Lesnar destroying Ambrose last night.

Here’s Zack Ryder with something to say. When Ryder was a kid he got to meet Razor Ramon and hold the Intercontinental Title. Well last night they took another picture with Ramon holding Ryder’s title, which makes for a really good pair of photos. Ryder thanks his dad (in the front row) but here’s Miz to interrupt. Last night Ryder stole what belongs to Miz and now it’s time to show that Ryder is just a flash in the pan. That means it should be time for a title shot right now. Ryder says Woo Woo Woo let’s do this.

Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Ryder is defending of course. Miz can’t get in an early Reality Check so Ryder dropkicks him for two. A baseball slide sends Miz into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Ryder getting knocked to the floor like the jobber that he is. Ryder fights back with some clotheslines but misses a dropkick, setting up the low DDT for two. The Rough Ryder misses but Ryder counters a suplex with a neckbreaker. I’ve always liked that counter.

The Elbow gets two on Miz but the Broski Boot misses. They head outside in front of Zack’s dad, so as you might expect, Miz is shoved down by Ryder Sr. To be fair, Zack’s dad is in better shape than half the roster. Fans: “MR. RYDER!” This brings out Maryse of all people (Miz’s wife) to slap Papa Ryder in the face, which is enough of a distraction for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin and the title at 10:26.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work. You can push Ryder as having a big moment all you want but at the end of the day, he’s still the same Zack Ryder who has been a jobbing goon for years now. It would be a stretch to have him beat Miz in the first place and an even bigger stretch to have him beat Miz to retain the title. As I’ve said already though, this was pretty clearly Neville’s spot and he would have fit better, but I’m not sure who else they could have put here, especially if Miz is just getting the title back so soon.

Also of note: Lillian started to get in the ring to announce a match before Miz came out at all. This led to what looked like quite an argument at ringside which went on for a bit between Lillian and a producer.

Owens says he lost the title because he was in the ring with six other guys so the loss was hardly fair. Last night Sami Zayn stole the title from him but now it’s on to bigger and better things, like winning the WWE World Title. Sami cost him the Intercontinental Title last night but he’s not costing him the World Title tonight. The road to KO Mania II begins tonight.

The Vaudevillains are coming on Smackdown.

All of the women including Lita come for the formal presentation of the Women’s Title. Lita talks about not having many role models to look up to as a kid. That’s not the case for the youngest generation today though because this division has never been stronger. Charlotte is introduced but the fans cut her off by wanting some Bayley. She says this title is about all the women in this ring who made this happen and because of all the fans…..who won’t stop singing about how they want Bayley. JBL: “These people are rude.”

Charlotte finally goes with the heel stuff by saying she won the title, but now the fans are on a WOMEN’S WRESTLING chant. The real credit goes to Ric Flair though because she got her here. The energy from the fans fueled her to her victory. It makes her laugh that she hasn’t even been here for a year while some of the less successful women have been here seven or eight years.

Sasha and Becky walk out and the rest of the women follow, save for Natalya. Somehow this turns into an argument over the Harts and the Flairs because that’s still a thing they’re pushing. Also ignore the fact that we just saw Charlotte vs. Natalya and haven’t gotten Sasha vs. Charlotte in a one on one feud yet. Natalya puts her in the Sharpshooter until Ric makes the save.

AJ Styles says it’s a new beginning and the start of a new era. That new era is going to be phenomenal.

Video on Primo and Epico, who really like Puerto Rico. This might actually be a downgrade from Los Matadores.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start of course and they head outside as JBL talks about his tables matches against Bubba and D-Von. Jimmy gets slammed to set up What’s Up but Bubba won’t do GET THE TABLES. The Usos pop up and dive onto the Dudleyz and we take a break. Back with Jey breaking up a superplex through the table as the fans are almost entirely behind the Dudleyz.

Jimmy dives over a table and onto Bubba with a splash. A double superkick breaks up a double powerbomb attempt, followed by the Usos running the barricade for a double dive. Back in and the Superfly splashes miss but drive the Usos through the tables. Apparently that’s enough to give the Dudley Boyz the win at 8:53, even though it’s long since been established that you have to drive them through a table using an offensive move. They’re not announced as the winners and JBL acknowledges that it was an early bell.

Rating: D. A lot of these matches really aren’t working for me and a lot of that is due to this match not needing to happen. I’d assume we’ll get a third match between them soon enough because the world is waiting on seeing who gets the advantage in a feud that isn’t interesting in the first place. The Usos need a new direction because they’re getting less and less interesting every time they come out.

Sami Zayn says he’s been in every kind of match around the world. He talks about wrestling around the world when Kevin Owens jumps him and gives him a powerbomb through a table.

Post break the Dudleyz are still at ringside yelling…..and here come Enzo and Cass to the pop of the night. Cole: “If you haven’t got a sample of them…..well some would say you’re in for a treat.” The fans start a loud HOW YOU DOIN chant before Enzo talks about being a smack talker skywalker with a lightsaber in his hand. The Dudleyz are still standing in the aisle and Enzo thinks they’re jealous because they’re ugly.

Bubba and D-Von look almost scared at how stupid this sounds but Enzo says he’ll use the gift of jab to knock that lazy eye back into place. Enzo: “Fall back like your hairline!” Cass invites the Dudleyz down for a fight but they back off like true heels. That’s enough for Cass to declare them SAWFT to wrap this up. Yeah the insults were kind of lame but this was all about the delivery and the reaction and these guys look like stars.

Zayn is officially out of the four way but a replacement will be named.

Ryder gets his rematch on Smackdown.

Dr. Phil will be the guest star next week. Why? No reason of course but he’s a celebrity and therefore interesting.

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. ???

The mystery entrant is……Cesaro, who was the most likely option and very well received by the fans. If nothing else we get a cool new entrance as Cesaro comes out in a tear away suit with trunks underneath. AJ and Jericho fight in one corner with the other two across the ring before it’s off to AJ vs. Cesaro to a very nice reaction. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops AJ for two and we take a break.

Back with Jericho suplexing Styles but Cesaro gets back in, only to have Owens break up the Swing. The big guys head outside again as Jericho loads up a superplex on AJ, only to have Owens and Cesaro come back in to make it a Tower of Doom. With everyone else down, Cesaro starts running the corners for European uppercuts, only to have Owens get a boot up. AJ enziguris Kevin but walks into Swiss Death. Jericho clotheslines Cesaro outside but gets jumped by his fellow Canadian.

The package side slam gets two on Jericho, who avoids a Cannonball. The Lionsault hits knees though, only to have AJ hit the springboard 450 for two of his own. Owens gets back again and tells AJ to stay down with his stupid haircut but Cesaro gets back in and sends both of them into the corner for rotating European uppercuts. Jericho takes over a third corner and now it’s time for triple rotating uppercuts.

Chris breaks it up but dives into the Swing as it’s all Cesaro at this point. Owens superkicks AJ to block a springboard and there’s the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Styles. A Codebreaker gets the same on Owens with Cesaro making the save. Cesaro gets caught in the Walls but he reverses into the Sharpshooter to a big reaction. AJ makes the save with the forearm to Cesaro and Peles Owens to the floor, only to eat a Codebreaker for two. A quick backslide attempt has Jericho in trouble but AJ keeps rolling forward into the Clash for the pin and the title shot at 16:44.

Rating: B+. This match was a blast with four potential winners until Styles pulled off the big surprise pin. I’m not sure where Cesaro goes after this as you would assume Sami vs. Owens for Payback so maybe Cesaro gets Jericho. Styles vs. Reigns could be something interesting if they build it up properly but it could also be a borderline disaster with the fans booing Reigns out of the building.

AJ celebrated for a very long time after the show went off the air.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time here, despite some big holes in a lot of what was going on. The Raw after Wrestlemania isn’t about the in ring action but rather all the events that take place. Cesaro returning, Shane taking over Raw (and seems to be more off camera than the Authority, which is already a huge plus) and a bunch of debuts are a good sign and there should be some fun matches going into Payback, even though a lot of them aren’t hard to figure out. This may not have been a great, blow away show but it showed some promise going forward which is all it needed to do.

Results

New Day b. Sheamus/King Barrett – Midnight Hour to Barrett

Sasha Banks b. Summer Rae – Bank Statement

Apollo Crews b. Tyler Breeze – Lifting powerbomb

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Dudley Boyz b. Usos – The Usos went through tables

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Styles Clash to Jericho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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We’re home and exhausted from a VERY long show, which was an absolute blast live. I’ll have a more in depth discussion of the show tomorrow but here are some highlights in no order.

1. The floor was literally shaking for Rock. I’ve never felt that before.

2. Reigns went from villain to hero(ish) by spearing Stephanie. Who knew it was that simple?

3. The video screen was WEIRD. The big screen that most people watched on (the 80 yard long one) kept going to three mini screens and then did things like starting a WOO whenever Charlotte went for the Figure Eight and keeping a count of Brock’s suplexes (picture coming later).

4. That stadium is one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen. It really has to be seen to be believed.

5. Really fun show live, though I don’t think it topped XXX.

6. Austin’s pop was amazing and I had to hold my wife back when Shawn came out.

7. I’d love to hear their explanation for the show going so long. It couldn’t have been planned to last that long, or at least not that I heard.

8. I was genuinely scared for Shane when he was on top of that Cell. I don’t like feeling like that and I shouldn’t at a wrestling show.

And yes it’s really likely the main event.

That leaves us with one main event in the form of Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon inside the Cell with Undertaker future vs. control of Raw on the line. Let me repeat this: the Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon inside the Cell is at worst the co-main event of Wrestlemania XXXII. I understand that the injuries had a lot to do with this but that’s a main event that only has limited potential. Given that this was going to be Undertaker vs. John Cena I could understand the idea, but maybe that was enough of a reason to change the plan up.

The big question here isn’t what happens or who wins but rather who interferes. You can almost guarantee Vince and the Authority, but the big question is about the surprises. There’s a rumored name that I won’t mention here (if you’ve heard the rumor you know who it is) but I don’t quite buy him as a big surprise for Wrestlemania. I mean, he would be a surprise but it’s not something I expect to actually happen.

I see the big problem here that most people see: how in the world is this supposed to fill in thirty to forty minutes? Shane is old and hasn’t wrestled in years while Undertaker is old and only wrestles a handful of times a year. This feels like the match that’s going to be gimmicked to death (and it should be) but I’m not sure that’s something you can use to close the biggest show of the year.

At the end of the day though, I think Shane somehow pulls it off. I don’t want him to as I have a major problem with Shane McMahon being the second person to knock off Undertaker at Wrestlemania, especially a year after Undertaker beat Bray Wyatt up so badly. There’s a chance this match could be fun but there’s also a strong chance that this could be a lot of sitting around begging for it to finally wrap up as we wait for anything interesting to happen because Shane is so blown up that he can’t move five minutes in. Either way, it’s going to be interesting.  Scary but interesting.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Not the main event.

So it’s off to the main events and we’ll start with the match I actually think won’t close the show. This is a really hard one to get into and the story continues to plague everything they’re trying to do. Thankfully that seems to be one of the general consensuses: it’s been the story they’re telling and not the people themselves.

Here’s the thing: Roman Reigns is going to get booed and he’s going to get booed loudly. It doesn’t matter what he does here but he’s going to get booed out of the building. The match could be Steamboat vs. Savage II and the fans just will not accept it or care. They do not want Roman Reigns to be the main star of the company no matter what he does, even though he’s done some better stuff in the last few months. HHH on the other hand has done some great mic work of his own to help set up this feud and I’m really buying the story they’re going with.

The problem is I don’t think they’ve done enough to make up for all the months of horrible and worthless stuff that Reigns has done. I know Reigns is a two time World Champion but I don’t buy him in this spot at the moment. The story makes sense and almost everything has been good but it’s not the conclusion I want out of this. Having this not go on last would be a huge help but it’s not going to fix the underlying problem: people don’t like Reigns.

As for the winner, I just can’t picture Reigns losing, at least not if the match goes on last. HHH winning and then setting up a title match with someone else (maybe Dean) for the next pay per view could work, especially if Shane wins control of Raw and turns the tables on HHH as champion. If this goes on last though, Reigns wins with probably the fourth spear and 100,000 people boo very, very loudly. I’m not sure WWE is smart enough to realize that’s going to happen but if they do, this isn’t closing the show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

It’s the final Raw before Wrestlemania and things are almost entirely set in stone. The big question is whether or not anything major happens between now and Sunday, as there’s still time for some big moves before we get into Dallas. There’s always a chance that it could happen but the go home Raw’s have been uneventful at times. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Undertaker, who Cole calls the greatest of all time, to open things up. He gets right to the point (thankfully) and says that Shane’s blood will be on Vince’s hands, but Vince’s blood may be on Undertaker’s hands. This will NOT be his last Wrestlemania because the Cell is his house.

Cue Shane to say that Undertaker is fighting to not lose while he’s fighting to win. Shane is the agent of change that WWE has needed for a long time and no matter what happens, Shane will crawl down the aisle and stand in the middle of the ring to usher in a new era. Undertaker brings up legacies and Shane comes to the ring to get in his face. This talk doesn’t worry him because Undertaker’s legacy died two years ago at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker doesn’t want to hear about this because Shane has belonged to his father since the day he was born. That sets Shane off for his now standard offensive flurry, which still has no effect. They head outside with Shane escaping a Last Ride through the table and hitting Undertaker in the head (hands) with a monitor. Shane goes to the top for the top rope elbow which barely grazes Undertaker’s arm. However, since the New York fans are the smarkiest of smarky fans in the world, which translates to “we’ll cheer ANYTHING”, it’s called awesome, despite being borderline sad. Shane leaves and Undertaker sits up.

Chris Jericho vs. Zack Ryder

This is fallout from Jericho ripping into Ryder for being a loser on the pre-show. Before the match, here’s AJ Styles to interrupt. AJ still wants to face Jericho at Wrestlemania because that still hasn’t been booked for some reason. Ryder gets in a quick rollup for two to start but Jericho sends him to the floor. Jericho charges into the knees in the corner and Ryder’s middle rope dropkick puts Jericho in the corner. The Broski Boot is blocked by a Walls attempt but AJ starts a chant to make fun of Jericho, setting up a quick small package to give Ryder the pin at 1:55.

Jericho IMMEDIATELY hits a Codebreaker after the match to keep Ryder in his place. We get an old WCW style tantrum and Jericho agrees to the match.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Non-title and Sasha Banks is on commentary. They trade armdrags to start with Charlotte getting the better of it as we take an early break. Back with Becky running Charlotte over and Sasha getting to her feet. The distraction lets Ric trip Becky, setting up a big boot and Natural Selection to give Charlotte the pin at 6:28. Too much in the break to rate but Becky continues to look weak going into the title match.

Vince is in the back to say that he agrees the Cell is Undertaker’s yard but Shane wants the yard, the house and the whole WWE Universe. Shane comes in to say yell at Vince for thinking he’s the only one that can run Raw. This Sunday, Shane is letting out 40 years of frustration and taking the company from Vince, just like he took it from his dad.

Social Outcasts vs. Kane/Big Show

Barely a match as the Outcasts all come in for the DQ at 32 seconds.

The ring fills up with midcarders in the battle royal for the big brawl. Mark Henry, Kane and Big Show are left alone with Mark taking a double chokeslam. The Outcasts are chokeslammed at the same time.

We look back at Reigns attacking HHH and Stephanie last week.

Here are HHH and Stephanie, the former of which was announced as being on the way to the arena before the break. Stephanie orders all of us to get on our feet and show respect to the champ. HHH talks about how the largest crowd in history will be in Dallas this Sunday to see Reigns fall. It is the dream of every athlete to walk out on that stage and the dream of everyone here in this arena.

However, that’s never going to happen because they just don’t have the ability. Roman Reigns has that ability because he’s a one in a million talent but this Sunday he’s going to lose it all. We get a nice rant about how HHH’s obsession with this business and how it’s lead him to dominate this title for twenty years (not quite). That has allowed him to put on a suit and really run this business, only to have Reigns powerbomb him through that announce table four months ago.

All that did was reignite the fire in him though because maybe people had forgotten who he was. Now it’s time for HHH to become the old Game again and destroy Reigns once and for all. Stephanie screeches for a bit and here’s Reigns to a lot of booing. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything stupid but clears the ring, only to be booed even more.

The thing to remember here is this isn’t a response to what Reigns has been doing for the last month but rather to what he’s been doing for the last year and a half. The fans aren’t going to forget all the stupid promos and illogical booking that we’ve been subjected to. This has been a good final push for Reigns and things could get better in the future but Wrestlemania is looking like a wash at this point.

Stephanie and HHH promise to fix things.

Here’s New Day for a match but first of all they need to plug BootyO’s, the official cereal of Wrestlemania. They also question why the League of Nations doesn’t have their own cereal, with the theory being because it would suck. The fans LOVE New Day here, especially when Big E. praises New York pizza.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kingston starts fast and sends Del Rio outside for a quick concert. Back in and a charge misses, allowing Del Rio to hit his reverse superplex for two as we take a break. Kingston is still in trouble when we come back with Del Rio getting two more off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The top rope double stomp misses for Alberto and the SOS gets two. Kofi misses in the corner again and a quick double stomp puts Kofi down. No cover though as Del Rio would rather shout and pose, allowing the armbreaker to be countered into a rollup for the pin at 7:40.

Rating: C-. Not great here as I’m getting tired of this feud. There’s a possibility that the titles have been cut out of the match to make it even less important than it already is, which was something you had to expect at some point. Kofi winning is a nice sign though as he’s really turning back into the version from nine years ago who looked like he could be something very special.

Post match THE COACH, as in Jonathan Coachman from ESPN, makes a surprise appearance to announce that SportsCenter will be covering Wrestlemania all day. He even dances a bit for fun.

We recap the opening brawl.

Roman Reigns is in the back for an interview when the Dudley Boys interrupt. Yeah because two people from NEW YORK are going to get Reigns cheered. HHH comes in for the sneak attack and Reigns is destroyed.

Konor vs. Kalisto

Non-title. Konor gets in an early headlock but Kalisto speeds things up with his kicks, followed by a dropkick to Viktor. A quick springboard Salida Del Sol puts Konor away at 1:49.

Post match Ryback comes out for a staredown.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar for the hard sell. Heyman talks about being the advocate for the baddest beast on the planet today before hyping us on the fact that we’re six days away. This year people have a once in a lifetime chance to see an athlete at the top of his game in Brock Lesnar. That’s why they’ve been looking for the right lunatic to take on Lesnar at Wrestlemania XXXII and Dean Ambrose happens to be smarter than he’s given credit for.

Dean has the opportunity to take some weapons and try to survive a no holds barred street fight against Brock Lesnar, which is the good news for Ambrose. However, the bad news is that he has a no holds barred street fight with BROCK LESNAR. Cue Dean with a wagon, which he fills with various “toys” from under the ring. Why he didn’t have those in there in the first place isn’t clear but he finds the barbed wire baseball bat and the chainsaw. After filling up the wagon, Dean leaves without even looking at Brock.

Paige vs. Emma

This is a preview match for the Total Divas (Paige/Alicia Fox/Brie Bella/Natalya) vs. what seems to be called Team Bad and Blonde (Lana/Naomi/Tamina/Summer Rae/Emma) for Sunday. Emma dropkicks Paige down to start and gets one off the former Emma Sandwich. The THIS IS MY HOUSE clothesline gets two for Paige but the other women get in an argument at ringside, allowing Lana to come in for a cheap shot to give Emma the pin at 2:53.

Post match the Total Divas get beaten down until Eva Marie of all people comes out for the save. The fans boo her almost as bad as Reigns but the rest of the Total Divas don’t seem impressed.

R-Truth comes up to Goldust and says it’s every man for himself in the battle royal. Goldust doesn’t care because they’re not a team.

Snoop Dogg is being inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Sami Zayn/Sin Cara/Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens/Stardust/The Miz

The fans are WAY behind Sami as he starts with Miz. The arm work sets up a tag off to Owens but he tags out to Stardust instead. Off to Ziggler (in a shirt for some reason) to hold Stardust down with a front facelock (notice that they’re being VERY safe this week) before superkicking Miz off the apron to take us to a break.

Back with Sin Cara coming in off the ropes for an elbow to Stardust’s shoulder. The fans chant for Byron Saxton and then JBL as Stardust clotheslines Sin out of the air. Owens makes Stardust tag Miz as the CM Punk chants break out. Sami comes in to draw an OLE chant (at least it’s about the match now) and gets stomped down by Stardust. That’s enough of the heels in control as it’s off to Ziggler for a lukewarm reaction. Miz gets in a cheap shot from the apron as Owens still won’t come in. Ziggler gets stomped down even more and we take a second break.

Back again with Ziggler still in trouble as Miz puts on a chinlock. Now it turns into a NEW DAY ROCKS chant because the “smart” fans are surprised that a go home show doesn’t have the most exciting action. Ziggler sends Stardust into the post and gives Miz the Fameasser, setting up the hot tag to Sami. Everything breaks down and Cara makes a blind tag, allowing Sami to dive onto Owens.

Cara’s high cross body gets two on Stardust but the Swanton hits knees. Sami comes in again but walks into the Skull Crushing Finale which sets off the Parade of Finishers, capped off by a big Cara moonsault to Stardust. Now Owens comes in but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a dropkick. Miz and Stardust want nothing to do with Owens now (makes perfect sense), allowing the tornado DDT and Helluva Kick to put Kevin away at 21:22.

Rating: C-. The match was dull but of course the focus is going to be on the crowd who couldn’t to five minutes without having some big dive or flip to entertain them, meaning we’re stuck with more announcers chants. I liked the basic story they went with here and that’s the best thing about the match. Seeing Sami pin Owens was a great touch too, as I don’t think he ever did that in NXT.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz and the Divas tag are now on the USA portion of the pre-show. No word on where the battle royal will air.

Here’s the Authority to wrap things up. Stephanie talks about how Reigns is going to fall and promises that there will be no new leadership next week. It’s about time they acknowledged this for a change. HHH doesn’t want to hear about him attacking Reigns from behind because there’s too much at stake. This brings out Reigns for another brawl with Reigns getting the better of it until a bunch of guys (the League, Dudley Boyz and Stardust) come out to pull him off. This brings out some good guys and it’s a big brawl. They’re finally separated but Reigns does a big dive over the ropes to take out the pile to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s a not horrible go home show for a not horribly built Wrestlemania. The crowd had its moments here but it’s pretty obvious that Sunday is going to be interesting and not in the best possible way. There’s some good stuff going on but they better knock it out of the part with everything they’re doing at the pay per view. Other than that, this was your standard go home Raw: not much action, a lot of pushing the pay per view, and little else. Oh and where are the Wyatts? Are they really just stuck in the battle royal? That’s the best they can get?

Results

Zack Ryder b. Chris Jericho – Rollup

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Natural Selection

Kane/Big Show b. Social Outcasts via DQ when all four Outcasts were in the ring at once

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Small package

Kalisto b. Konor – Salida Del Sol

Emma b. Paige – Pin after a kick from Lana

Sami Zayn/Dolph Ziggler/Sin Cara b. Kevin Owens/The Miz/Stardust – Helluva Kick to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

After putting up with last year’s mess, this is my reward. Many people including myself consider this to be the greatest wrestling show of all time and I can’t say I argue that point whatsoever. It’s a four hour spectacular headlined by the main event to end all main events for this era: Austin vs. Rock II for the world title. Other matches on the card include HHH vs. Undertaker for the first time along with TLC II, Angle vs. Benoit and Vince vs. Shane to FINALLY end their drama. I’m getting antsy now so let’s get to it.

The opening video is a history of Wrestlemania along with shots of people around the world watching it. This includes a couple watching it in the back of a car. What kind of a portable TV can get a PPV feed? Anyway this is an awesome video that makes Wrestlemania seem like a worldwide event that everyone can get into. That’s an awesome idea and the video makes it work.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending and this is a result of him not liking Commissioner Regal’s regime. Basically he thinks Regal is boring and therefore relieved himself in Regal’s teapot. Regal responded by having the RTC and the Dudleys beat up Jericho on various nights. Jericho came back by dressing up by Doink for no apparent reason and putting Regal in the Walls of Jericho.

Regal pounds away to start but Jericho forearms him out to the floor. There’s a big dive by the champion to take Regal down before he drops Sweet Willy B on the barricade. Back inside and a jumping back elbow off the top puts Regal down again before they head to the mat. Jericho tries for the Walls but Regal escapes and sends the still injured shoulder (from the aforementioned beatdowns) of Jericho into the post. A quick suplex gets two for Regal and it’s back to the arm.

Jericho comes back with an elbow but Regal takes him down with a rollup for two more. Another suplex puts Jericho down again but Regal can’t keep him down. The fans start cheering for Jericho as Regal takes off a turnbuckle pad. The referee is ok with this for some reason as Jericho’s shoulder goes into the steel. Jericho comes back with a pair of enziguris before a middle rope missile dropkick gets two.

Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.

Shane McMahon in his WCW-1 limo shows up. He bought WCW on Monday, setting the stage for the Alliance.

Bradshaw is worried about Taz not being here for their match so he goes on one heck of a rant about how awesome Texas is before going on about how THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA.

Right to Censor vs. APA/Taz

The RTC is a censorship group with Val Venis, Goodfather and Bull Buchanan with Steven Richards outside. They censor stuff, the other three don’t like it, let’s fight. Oh and Jackie is with the good guys but no one cares about her. It’s a big brawl to start with the RTC getting destroyed very quickly. We start with Faarooq vs. Buchanan with Bull hitting the climb the rope clothesline for an early two. Off to Taz who gets kicked in the head and triple teamed by RTC.

Venis comes in with some knees to the ribs for two before it’s off to Goodfather. He continues the destruction of Taz including the non-Ho Train for no cover. There’s the hot tag to Bradshaw as the beating shifts. Venis gets caught in the fallaway slam as everything breaks down. A double spinebuster crushes Venis and there’s a belly to back superplex for good measure. Goodfather misses a charge in the corner and Bradshaw kills him dead with the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is pretty easily the worst match of the show and it’s certainly not bad at all. This was short and almost sweet which is what it was supposed to be. The idea here was to have the censors get beaten up by the Texan and give the fans a good feeling which is exactly what happened. Not a good match or anything but it’s completely watchable.

Trish wheels in the comatose Linda to be in attendance for Vince destroying Shane later. Your McMahon Drama Recap of the Night: Vince is screwing Trish while Linda has been medicated to the point where she can’t move while Stephanie is being Daddy’s Little Girl. Stephanie tells Trish to be ready for the celebration post match and Trish is perfectly fine with this. Yep, perfectly.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven is defending and brings out a shopping cart of goodies with him. Before Show is here, Raven tries to jump Kane for no apparent reason. My guess would be drug related mental issues but that’s just speculation. Show makes the LONG walk down the aisle, only to have Raven tossed over the top rope and down onto him. Raven is easily caught so Kane dives off the top and takes them both out, getting two on Kane.

We head into the crowd with Show never getting into the ring and the brawl is on. Bird Boy’s philosophy seems to be let the monsters brawl and sneak in some shots where he can. A street sign to Kane’s head staggers him, only for Kane to throw Raven nearly through a wall. Show chases Raven away and tries to lock themselves into a kind of storage area. Kane will have none of that and breaks the door down to keep beating up Big Show.

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose but Kane basically lassos him with it before throwing Raven through the window of a small office. Show knocks Kane through the office door before they brawl through the wall between the offices. Raven stomps away before stealing a golf cart, only to have Big Show jump on the back.

Kane steals one of his own and brings the referee along on the chase. According to Raven, there was supposed to be a chase scene around the arena but it never happened. Also they almost hit some cables that would have cut the power to the entire stadium, which would have been awesome and awful at the same time. They fight to the catering area and the Snapple is destroyed, much to Heyman’s chagrin.

Now we head back up the steps to the stage where Kane goes nuts on Big Show, only to get clotheslined back down. Show loads up a gorilla press on Raven but Kane kicks them both off the stage. A legdrop from Kane onto Show is enough for the pin and the title in a crushed part of the set.

Rating: C+. This is a fun hardcore match with the cool brawling spots mixed with the fun and goofy stuff which is how you make for a good hardcore match. These kind of matches were rare, but for the most part this was a more serious kind of Hardcore Title match, which usually makes things better. Kane would hold the title for awhile before it fell back into the goofy style.

Angle tells Edge and Christian that he didn’t tap out to Benoit because there wasn’t an official bell or an official referee, so it wasn’t an official tap out. The Canadians slowly walk away.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York.

A fan from Australia is here. That’s rather cool.

The Rock arrives, 40 minutes into the show.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Test is defending and Eddie has the Perry Saturn with him. Eddie tries to jump him to start but gets thrown around by the pure power of the champion. A spinning powerbomb gets two for Test and they head to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Eddie gets in a shot to take over before pounding away in the corner. The champion comes back with a clothesline for two before heading up top.

While up there though Test has to counter a hurricanrana before hitting a jumping back elbow to the face for two. A big boot from the champion misses Eddie though, causing Test’s ankle to be caught in the rope. The match has to stop for a second to get him loose because Eddie can’t pin him while in the ropes. Eddie stomps away on the leg on the floor a bit before heading back inside to work on it in the ring.

Off to a sleeper by Guerrero now as the fans seem to be getting a bit bored. Test fights out of it after a few moments and hits the tilt-a-whirl slam to put both guys down. Another tilt-a-whirl ends in a powerbomb for two for Test but Eddie kicks him low to break up a full nelson slam. Saturn slips in while the referee is yelling at Eddie for the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (a swinging neckbreaker), giving Eddie a two count.

Test gets back up and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two before kicking Saturn’s head off. Eddie gets kicked as well but they have to wait for Dean Malenko to come down for his run-in, causing a stupid looking (fits Test perfectly) pause. As Test beats up Dean, Eddie gets the title belt and hits the champ with it for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Again, if this is the worst match I have to watch, I’m going to be perfectly fine with this. Test was fine here with Eddie doing almost all of the work and making things as simple for Test as possible. It’s pretty dull stuff but another Texan winning isn’t going to hurt things at all, especially with it just being for the lower midcard title.

Mick Foley promises to call the street fight fairly.

Austin is here, 55 minutes late.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

On his way to the ring, Angle rips on Texas for various reasons, primarily the lone star flag. Oh and cowboy hats are stupid. This match was made on Raw because neither guy had anything to do for Wrestlemania. It’s as simple as it sounds, but do you need anything more than that for this pairing? Angle still insists that he didn’t tap out to Benoit on Raw. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.”

Angle takes it to the mat to start which is fine with Benoit as the struggle begins. Benoit sits out and it’s a standoff, drawing a nice ovation from the crowd. It worked so well before that they do it again, drawing a bigger ovation this time. Angle hits a kind of suplex to take it to the mat for a third time but Benoit sits out again as they fight for position. They roll into the ropes for another break and the fans are pleased yet again.

Benoit takes it to the mat again and tries the Crossface, sending Angle into the safety of the ropes. Kurt bails to the floor for a breather as he isn’t sure what to do with Benoit here. Back in and Angle has to get to a rope to escape another Crossface attempt. Angle blasts Benoit with a right hand to shift the style and momentum here as they head outside. Benoit goes first into the announce table and shoulder first into the steps to keep Kurt in control.

Back in and Angle gets two off a belly to back suplex. A belly to belly gets no cover by Kurt and neither does the second one Angle hits in a row. Benoit comes back with a clothesline as the only advantage of the match so far is gone. Benoit starts slugging away in the corner before hitting a knee to Angle’s ribs. A back elbow to Angle’s face gets two as does a snap suplex ala Dynamite Kid. Benoit follows up with a superplex and holds his neck afterwards. He would be about three months from neck surgery that put him out for over a year.

Speaking of neck injuring suplexes, Benoit rolls some Germans but Angle rolls through the third one into the ankle lock. Benoit escapes that into an ankle lock of his own for good measure. The stealing finishers was one of Angle’s major deals so this shouldn’t be a surprise. Benoit tries the Crossface but Angle blocks it from going on full. Angle puts Benoit in the Crossface for good measure but Benoit gets a foot on the ropes.

Angle accidentally charges into the referee, just before Benoit puts Angle in the Crossface for an unseen tap out. Benoit releases the hold and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. Angle’s moonsault hits Benoit’s knees, allowing Benoit to go up for the Swan Dive. That gets two, but Angle rolls through and hooks the tights for the win.

Rating: B+. It’s Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania. Did you expect this to be anything less than awesome? This wasn’t as good as their masterpiece at the 2003 Rumble, but it would be a match of the year candidate on any other show. That’s what you expect from these two though, and this is an excellent match that is overshaddowed by the rematches they would have later.

William Regal is annoyed at Michael Cole but walks into his office to see Kamala standing on his desk and rubbing the picture of Queen Elizabeth on his stomach. It’s as disturbing as it sounds.

We get a video from the Wrestlemania pep rally at Fort Hood in Texas with a bunch of wrestlers and Divas. There was a parade and the commander got a chair. The WWE people got plaques and Lita looks so unimpressed it’s unreal. Angle of course would rather have a medal. This was pretty cool.

Angle says he won but Benoit jumps him and puts on another Crossface, making Kurt tap again.

We recap Chyna hurting her neck and then coming back as a Playboy cover girl. This doesn’t sit well with the RTC, who injured her neck in the first place. Tonight it’s Ivory vs. Chyna for the Women’s Title again, but this is more about revenge than the title.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

For one of the only times ever, Chyna looks great here. Ivory holds the belt to her face before the bell, but the referee is shoved away to let Ivory hit Chyna in the back with said title. Ivory gets in a few more shots but Chyna catches a boot in the corner. The destruction begins and Ivory is beaten down in the corner. A powerbomb kills Ivory dead but Chyna pulls her up at two. Instead it’s a gorilla press slam for the pin and the title. Chyna would bail on the company about a month later without ever losing the title.

Vince gives Trish some instructions about Linda tonight, making sure that Linda won’t be brought out until Shane is totally immobile. Cole comes in to ask about Monday night so Vince promises something shocking tonight.

We recap Vince demanding a divorce from Linda while openly having an affair with Trish. Linda had a breakdown so Vince had her medicated to the point that she was basically a vegetable. Shane returned to destroy Vince and challenged him to a match at Wrestlemania. Vince said ok but there were bigger things to take care of.

On March 26, Vince appeared on Nitro saying that he had bought his competition. At the end of the broadcast though, Shane appeared as well, saying that he had bought WCW when Vince had waited too long. Vince had wanted to sign the contracts here at Mania, allowing Shane to swoop in and steal it. I’m thinking that’s not legal, but it’s wrestling so how much sense does it need to make?

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.

The Hardys aren’t sure if any of the three teams will ever be the same after TLC II.

HHH and Undertaker are getting ready. To this day I still want one of those X7 baseball jerseys. They were AWESOME.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are the champions coming in. There’s no story to it, but was there ever to one of these things? Edge and Christian get double teamed to start and the Dudleyz hit a double flapjack on Christian. Both sets of Boys fight in the corner with Jeff hitting Poetry in Motion on both at once. Cue Edge and Christian again with the ladder before Edge brings in a chair. The Canadians put Matt in the Tree of Woe and stand on his crotch. No wonder Lita left him for Edge.

Edge stats to climb but Matt makes the stop and goes up himself. That goes badly for him of course as Edge uses the chair as a stepping stone to take Matt down with a clothesline. Jeff dropkicks Edge off the ladder before joining with his brother to dropkick a ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. There are two ladders in the ring now in opposite corners. Christian is slammed down and hit with a stereo splash/legdrop from the Hardys. The Dudleys are back in now and there’s What’s Up.

It’s Table Time with Edge being placed on the first one, but Jeff tries a hurricanrana to Bubba, only to be powerbombed through Edge through the table. This is nonstop action so far. The Dudleys set up four tables at ringside as Paul tells us of Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Currently there’s a table in the corner and three ladders in the ring. Bubba picks up a ladder and CRACKS Matt in the head with it before setting it up next to the other two. All three are set up in a row in the middle of the ring so here’s a six way climb.

Matt and Christian go flying first with Matt landing on the ropes and Christian falling all the way to the floor. Jeff and D-Von fall into the opposite ropes and Edge and Bubba fall backwards, to put all six guys down. Edge is the only one halfway standing and Christian sets up a table on the floor. Bubba dumps a ladder to the floor to clear the ring out a bit as Spike Dudley, Bubba and D-Von’s cousin, runs in. He hits Edge low and puts Christian through a table with the Dudley Dog off the apron.

Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno runs in and destroys everyone in sight before sending Edge up the ladder to get the belts. Cue Lita to jerk Edge off. The ladder. Anyway with the thong sticking WAY out, Rhyno picks her up but gets hit low by Spike. Lita goes up for a rana on Rhyno and Spike cracks him in the head with a chair, sending Rhyno into the ladder, knocking Edge into the ropes. A Doomsday Device puts Rhyno down again but Lita CRACKS Spike in the head with a chair. She then takes off her top, giving us the biggest pop of the night. Not that it matters as she walks into a 3D and is now done for the match.

The Canadians come back in with chairs to take the champions out before Christian brings out the huge ladder. It’s on the floor but it’s still taller than the ones in the ring. Jeff, ever the crazy man, goes ALL THE WAY to the top and hits a Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (read as Rhyno barely gets hit and Spike takes every bit of it). The super ladder is set up in the ring now and it’s a race between D-Von and Christian. Matt moves the ladder away, leaving both guys hanging from the cord holding the belts.

Both guys fall down, but Jeff gets up on a regular ladder and tries to walk on the other small ladders like a tightrope. Jeff loses his balance though and has to hang from the cord as well. Bubba grabs the ladder and walks away with it while Jeff’s feet are still in it, pulling Jeff’s body back. The feet pull away and Jeff swings forward, right into a spear from Edge off the super ladder, drawing a BIG gasp from the crowd. That’s the spot that made everyone realize Edge was going to be something VERY special.

Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.

Rating: A+. If you’re looking for pure insanity and non-stop violence, this is the pinnacle of the genre. These nine people went for over fifteen minutes and never once stopped beating on each other. The spots are insane and the big spots still have you in awe. This match holds up incredibly well and is just as impressive as it was twelve years ago. Absolute masterpiece that blows away every MITB match that I can remember.

Video on Axxess. I need to go to that someday.

We get the all time attendance record announcement: 67,925. That’s AWESOME.

Now for the fun part of the show to give the fans a chance to breathe. Here are MEAN FREAKING GENE OKERLUND and Bobby Heenan to do commentary for the next match.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink, Kamala, Kimchee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang (He couldn’t fit into the Akeem gear), Gobbledy Gooker (complete with video from Survivor Series 1990), Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim (biggest reaction of the entrants), Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Take eighteen of the goofiest gimmicks of all time, throw them in a match, have fun. I thought this was awesome when I was 13 and it’s still awesome to this day. The entrances take nearly three times longer than the match but that’s beside the point. Repo Man is put out in about two seconds as is the Gooker. Quake puts Tugboat out before Kamala throws him out as well.

People are thrown out right and left with Doink being eliminated to a chorus of booing. The final four are Brother Love, Slaughter, Hillbilly Jim and the Sheik. Within about 12 seconds it’s down to Sheik and Jim with Sheik winning because he can’t go over the top to the floor. This was like three minutes long and it worked just fine all things considered. Slaughter puts Sheik in the Cobra Clutch post match.

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker. HHH beat Austin at No Way Out and then said there was nobody left for him to beat, so here came the Dead Man. HHH jumped him from behind and choked him with a chair a week later. Taker came back with a pipe, earning himself a restraining order from Stephanie.

There was no restraining order against Undertaker’s brother Kane though, so he kidnapped Stephanie and threatened to throw her off a balcony unless Taker got a one on one match with HHH at Wrestlemania. HHH responded by destroying Undertaker’s motorcycle. Taker called the ring his yard, giving HHH the great line of “Your yard is in the middle of his world.” This was the match I was looking forward to more than any other on the card.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Taker gets to do his long bike ride down the aisle, meaning he can speed it way up, which looks pretty awesome. I use that word a lot in this but it’s true. The fight starts on the floor with HHH losing a slugout. They break ANOTHER Spanish announce table with Taker still pounding away. We get in the ring for the opening bell where HHH hitting the jumping knee to the face. Taker has no interest in selling that though and pounds on HHH in the corner even more.

A big backdrop puts HHH down as do some clotheslines in the corner. Taker powerslams the Game down and there’s the jumping clothesline to do it again. HHH breaks up Old School though and hits a neckbreaker for two. A few elbows to Taker’s neck have him in even more trouble and there’s a neckbreaker for two. See what psychology is like? It’s not that hard. Taker comes back with rapid fire punches but gets caught in a facebuster.

HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but the referee takes it away from him. Instead HHH loads up a Pedigree but gets catapulted into the referee, crushing him in the process. There’s a chokeslam to HHH but the referee is slow to count, meaning it only gets two. Taker beats up the referee to knock him out cold before throwing HHH out to the floor. HHH is backdropped into the crowd and the brawl is on. Taker punches him up to the tech area which is a very rare sight.

HHH tries to climb away to escape, but he climbs up higher and higher. Taker catches him anyway and pounds him in the head before sending him up to the next level. HHH finds a chair and blasts him ten straight times about the head and body. He loads up another shot to the head but Taker grabs him by the throat and chokeslams HHH off the tower onto something we can’t see. It winds up being a crash pad but the throw looked GREAT. Taker wants more and drops an elbow off the tower down onto HHH for good measure.

Before HHH can be taken to the back by EMTs, Taker beats him up even more and even knocks down the medics. We head back to the ring where the referee hasn’t moved for six minutes and hasn’t been looked at whatsoever. Back to the ring with HHH basically dead. Taker picks up the sledgehammer but HHH kicks him low to save his life. A big boot to the face of HHH takes him down though and it’s time for a slugout.

HHH loads up a Tombstone but since he’s not Kane (or Sid apparently, Taker easily counters into one of his own. There’s STILL no referee though as he’s been out cold for ten minutes (from a kick in the back and an elbow drop mind you). Taker finally shakes him back to life before loading up the Last Ride. HHH grabs the sledgehammer though and knocks Undertaker silly with it…..for two. I lost my mind on that kickout back in the day.

Taker is busted open and HHH is having a fit. The Game pounds away at the cut in the corner but makes the fatal mistake of going to the middle rope for more leverage, allowing Taker to grab the Last Ride to plant HHH and make himself 9-0 at Wrestlemania. Taker lays on the ropes after the match and the shot of him busted open but smiling is sweet.

Rating: A. This is one of the great matches that no one talks about for various reasons ranging from their rematches to the match that immediately followed it. It’s absolutely great though with both guys beating the tar out of each other and some excellent drama on the near falls. This was the match that made sure you knew Taker was still a player while keeping HHH strong at the same time. Great fight.

Some fan won a contest here because of a poster.

As JR says, the time is upon us.

We recap Austin vs. Rock II which is summed up by one line from Austin: “The fact is Rock, you got the WWF Title and I want it.” This is backed up by the mother of all hype videos, set to My Way by Limp Bizkit. I’m not a fan of their music but this video is AMAZING. Debra was originally involved but thankfully that was dropped after about eight seconds. This was the best kind of build there was: take two superstars who seemingly cannot lose and put them together in a title match. These two beat on each other for months on end until this night arrived.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Heyman says this is the match that both men need to win and neither man can afford to lose. Right before the entrances, Fink tells us that this is now No DQ, which is a surprise to everyone. Austin’s pop is awe inspiring as the face absolutely lose their minds at his entrance. Rock gets a VERY mixed reaction as Austin is a folk hero here in Texas. The brawl is on immediately and Austin hits the Thesz Press and middle finger elbow, only to be taken down by a swinging neckbreaker. The Rock Bottom and Stunner are countered and Austin throws Rock to the floor. We’re maybe 45 seconds in at this point.

They fight into the crowd with Rock taking over with more right hands. Back to ringside with Austin hitting a clothesline to put Rock down before adjusting his knee brace for a bit. They’re back in the ring now with Austin hitting a running crotch attack in 619 position followed by a superplex for the first two count of the match. Austin takes off the turnbuckle pad and pounds away to A LOT of booing from the crowd. A back elbow gets two for Rock before he clotheslines Austin to the floor.

They fight over to the announce table with Austin coming back with a bell shot to the face. Rock is knocked onto the announce table which breaks a few seconds later. We head back inside for Austin to pound away to even more pops from the crowd. Rock comes back with right hands but Austin drops both him and a leg for two. Rock is busted open and Austin chokes away in the corner. Austin stops to yell at the referee and gets his head taken off by a lariat from Rock.

The champion pounds away with right hands before getting the bell. It goes upside the head of the also bloody Austin but only gets two. We’re at the point now where the pinfall attempts get more and more intense. Rock keeps pounding away but Austin won’t stay down. Back to the floor with Austin firing off more fists as JR is in all his glory calling it. A slingshot sends Rock head first into the post and man did he BOUNCE off that thing. Back inside and Rock scoops the legs for the Sharpshooter in a call back to WM 13 where Austin is dripping blood while in the hold. He makes the rope this time though and we keep going.

Rock flips Austin off, earning himself a Sharpshooter from Austin. Well there’s a twist. It’s a terrible Sharpshooter but it gets the job done. Rock powers out though with blood dripping in between his teeth, again ala Mania 13. Back to the Sharpshooter on Rock but he makes the rope this time to escape again. Austin busts out the Million Dollar Dream of all things and the bloody Rock is in trouble. Rock fights up though and we get another callback to a Bret vs. Austin masterpiece with Rock climbing the rope and backflipping onto Austin for two, making him break the hold in the process.

Out of nowhere Rock hits a Stunner on Austin but he can’t follow up. It eventually gets two…and here’s Vince. Austin’s whip spienbuster gets two but he walks into one by Rock which sets up the People’s Elbow. Vince breaks it up though by pulling Rock off Austin, earning himself a death stare from the champion. Now we know something is afoot given the history between Vince and Austin. Rock chases Vince but runs into a Rock Bottom from Austin for another very close two.

The Stunner is countered and Hebner is knocked to the floor, allowing Austin to hit a low blow. Vince brings in a chair and clocks Rock with it on Austin’s instructions, getting another delayed two count. Now the fans are cheering for Rock a lot more but aren’t as pleased when Rock hits a Rock Bottom out of nowhere. Vince gets pulled into the ring for a beatdown but it’s a Stunner to Rock for only two. That probably should have been the finish, but instead Austin gets the chair and gives Rock the mother of all beatdowns with it, hitting him SIXTEEN TIMES. Rock is DEAD and Austin covers the body for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. Yes there’s kind of weak ending, yes there were some lame points, but it’s Rock vs. Austin II for the world title in the main event of Wrestlemania. This is a masterpiece by definition alone. I think I might be the only person on the planet that likes this turn still, but it was in front of the wrong crowd. If this was ANY other state in the country it would have been booed like there was no tomorrow, but instead gets cheered, which is where the problem came from. Still though, excellent match and worthy of being the main event of the greatest show ever.

Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Beer is consumed and Rock is hit with the belt one more time for good measure.

Overall Rating: A++. It’s the greatest show of all time. Normally I would say if there was a rating higher than an A+ it would get that, so now there’s a rating of A++ for this show and this show alone. With a mind blowing four matches at B+ or higher and absolutely nothing bad at all, how can this not be the best show ever? I’ve seen this show several dozen times and it doesn’t get old no matter how many times I see it. It’s still excellent and needs to be seen by all fans.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

Redo: B

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A++

Yep it holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is also called Wrestlemania 2000 but the purist in me won’t let that happen. This is a step up over last year’s one match show as this year we have a two match show. The main event is a fatal fourway elimination match between HHH, the Rock, Big Show and the one night only returning Mick Foley. The other match is Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho in a two fall double title match. You might notice a few multi-man matches there and you’re going to notice a lot of them tonight. There isn’t a single one on one match on the entire card tonight, which might be the only time ever in company history. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem. I’ve heard her do this live and my goodness can she sing the heck out of that song.

We open with a recap of the previous 15 Wrestlemanias which sounds like it’s narrated by a James Earl Jones impersonator.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

HHH and Stephanie talk about how awesome their titles are. She’s Women’s Champion if that wasn’t really clear.

We see a conference with the Hardcore Battle Royal participants. Basically it’s a huge free for all and not a traditional battle royal. There’s a fifteen minute time limit and there can be as many title changes as there needs to be. Basically whoever is the last man standing is champion and the 24/7 rule stops after the last fall.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending coming in. He comes in last and we’re ready to go. Remember there’s a fifteen minute time limit. Everyone else fights to the floor and Taz hits a fast suplex on Crash for the pin ad the title in thirty seconds. So now, only Taz can be pinned for the title. A few seconds later, Viscera hits Tazz with a board and gets the title. Now we move into an extended period of hitting people in the head with whatever objects are handy.

We’ve got thirteen and a half minutes or so to go. Someone uses a box fan on someone else and that’s about the most in depth coverage you’ll be getting here. Everyone jumps Viscera and hits him with whatever they can find. Crash appears to be busted open. The Acolytes double team the champion and the beatings continue on everyone for a bit. Hardcore and Mosh beat Viscera down and get two each.

We’re under ten minutes now and it’s fine extinguisher time. There’s so much stuff going on it’s impossible to call. Viscera heads back into the ring and goes up top (for those of you unfamiliar, Viscera is about Big Show’s size), only to be slammed down by the Acolytes. The APA (Acolyte Protection Agency, same team) breaks a board over his back and Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulder to put him down. For no apparent reason they throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera, giving Funaki the belt.

Funaki, apparently the smartest guy in the match, grabs the belt and runs away. Everyone catches up to him in the back with 7:00 left. Rodney gets a fluke pin out of nowhere for the pin, which I believe is the Posse’s first pinfall. Joey suplexes him down and wins the title but Thrasher gets a clothesline and the title. Everyone beats up Thrasher now because its their job and we come into the arena again. Pete Gas hits Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and wins the title.

Taz gets his hands on the champion and brings him back to ringside for a beating. A t-bone suplex puts the bloody Pete down for the pin and the title with….dang it they took the clock down. Hardcore sends Taz into the steps for two before Mosh takes a shot at him. Taz rolls up Mosh for two on instinct alone. Now it’s the Hollys and Taz in the ring and three minutes to go. Crash gets cracked in the head by Taz for two which again means nothing. Hardcore puts Taz down and the cousins fight over a cover. Two minutes left and both Hollies get two off a powerslam by Hardcore.

We’ve got a minute left as Hardcore hits the dropkick for two. The champion hits a suplex on Hardcore to send him outside as Crash hits Taz with a trashcan lid for the title. The Tazmission goes on Crash but Hardcore blasts Taz in the head with a candy jar and covers Crash. The ending is screwed up though as Hardcore was supposed to get two but be stopped by the time.

Instead the referee had to stop counting…but Hardcore wins anyway. It made no sense, but either way the important thing here is Taz actually. That jar was made of real glass and when it shattered, some of it got in Taz’s eye. Allegedly he was supposed to win the Intercontinental Title but the reign went to Benoit instead.

Rating: B-. What do you want me to say about this? It was exactly what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain about it in that regard. They beat the tar out of each other with some funny spots and it was contained in one match instead of a big goofy show long angle like we had two years later. This rating could be all over the place depending on your taste for this stuff.

We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall when Steve Blackman comes in and says don’t do something stupid. This is during the Head Cheese (Snow and Blackman) attempt at finding Blackman a personality.

Trish is ready in the back.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester. You know, because they’re good guys!

We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat being unclothed and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.

The Dudleys say they’re afraid of heights but they’re ready for the triangle ladder match. This is when Bubba still had a stutter.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

It’s a Catfight, meaning you have to put your opponent on the floor to win. Val Venis is referee and Moolah and Mae are in the respective corners. The referee compares a part of himself to Wrestlemania in a promo that would get him chased off by a pitchfork carrying mob in today’s world. Venis is in a referee’s towel too. Early on he picks up Terri and gets kissed in a spot that would have made the Montreal Screwjob completely different.

Kat hits a lame spear but Val has to stop Mae from flashing everyone. Terri is sent to the floor but there’s no referee. The old chicks get in the ring and Mae kisses Val. Kat throws Terri to the floor but Moolah pulls Kat to the outside. Terri is the only one in as Val escapes Mae, giving Terri the win. Total mess but it was a bridge between the big match and the rest of the show.

Terri is stripped post match.

The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane say Show will win.

We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.

Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.

Vince says he’ll be a factor in the main event. He’s in Rock’s corner tonight and doesn’t think his family is dysfunctional. Vince promises to make it right tonight. You can smell the screwjob coming from here.

HHH doesn’t like what Vince just said and promises not to lose.

D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane

This would be Road Dogg and X-Pac with Tori as the final surviving members of the team. Kane has the wicked awesome inverted colors on tonight with mainly black trimmed with red. Tori slaps Paul Bearer before the match but gets choked by Kane for his efforts. It’s a brawl to start with Rikishi hitting a quick Stinkface on Road Dogg. The fat man turns his attention to Tori but Pac makes a last minute save. D-X tries to leave to no avail as the big men slowly chase them down.

We finally get started with Pac vs. Rikishi and the smaller man hitting a spinning kick in the corner but no Bronco Buster follows. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches and a forearm to put Rikishi down. The shaky knee gets two and it’s back to Pac for some kicks to the chest which have no effect. A Samoan Drop puts Pac down and there’s the tag to Kane. Kane gets to beat up X-Pac which is the whole point of the match. X-Pac avoids the Stinkface but Bearer throws Tori in to take his place. Kane tombstones Pac to end this.

Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to celebrate but Kane doesn’t trust the bird. Everyone dances as Kane stares at the chicken. Either Pete is a far better dancer than expected or there’s something afoot. Kane stares down at the bird but here’s Pete Rose with a ball bat. This goes as badly as the other years have gone and it’s a chokeslam and a Stinkface for the Hit King. I’ll give the guy this: he’s willing to do almost whatever the WWF asked of him.

Rock says it’s been twelve months since he was world champion and there have been a lot of bad moments for Rock since then. After ever chokeslam, every Mandible Claw and every Pedigree, he’s back here at Wrestlemania for his world title. If Rock has an ounce of blood and sweat, he’s going to layeth the Smacketh Down tonight for the millions and millions.

Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.

Here’s a recap of the main event which the company doesn’t think is important enough to explain to you. HHH is defending champion and retired Foley at No Way Out. Rock won the Rumble but Big Show presented HHH with a video showing that Rock’s feet hit first. This got Big Show a match at No Way Out for the #1 contendership where he beat Rock. Rock then earned the shot back by beating Big Show on Raw. Linda McMahon brought Foley back for one night only and if he wins tonight, there’s a tournament leading up to the title match at Backlash.

The real story here is that there’s a McMahon in every corner: Vince with Rock because Vince respect him, Stephanie with her husband HHH, Linda with the feel good story of Foley and Shane with Big Show because he sees Show as his ticket to the top of the company. In other words, the wrestlers are just there as the McMahons are the real show here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.

Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.

Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.

The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.

Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.

HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.

Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.

We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.

A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.

Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.

We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87^th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.

Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.

Overall Rating: D. This show is the low point of the best year in the company’s history and it’s because of the McMahon drama. Again, there is zero reason to have them dominate a main event like this other than that’s what they wanted to happen. The stuff that was good though, while limited, was VERY good with the midcard title match and the tag title match blowing away everything else going on with this show. That main event is a BIG blow to it though given how long the thing ran. Check out those two matches and then go pick up the N64 game instead of the show as it’s WAY more entertaining.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: B-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

Redo: D-

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

Redo: B+

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2016
Location: Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

This is one of the final three Raw’s before Wrestlemania and things are starting to get interesting. The question though is what to do with Roman Reigns. It’s pretty clear that the fans don’t want to cheer for him but at some point they either need to change the main event or accept the crowd reactions. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio

Woods says there’s no stopping this New Day train and they’ve had a good time celebrating on Twitter. After shilling the cereal box (Kofi: “This is a real thing you can get on WWE.com!”), Big E. talks about having some Kim Kardashian inspired gluteal workout DVDs. Kofi is actually the odd man out here for a change.

The announcers explain the Freebird Rule as Rusev and Big E. shove each other around to start. The fans want Lana but Rusev laughs them off, only to get caught in the abdominal stretch, complete with a quick spanking. There’s the Unicorn Stampede before Big E. throws Woods into Rusev’s face. Rusev kicks him away and brings in Del Rio who suplexes Big E. for two. A Backstabber gets two more before Woods gets kicked in the face as well as we take a break.

Back with Woods caught in Rusev’s bearhug, followed by Del Rio slapping on a chinlock. As usual the League is burning up the mat with this offense. Woods kicks him in the leg and knees Alberto in the face, allowing for the hot tag to Big E. The Warrior Splash gets two and everything breaks down with Woods DDTing Rusev. Del Rio double stomps Big E. to the floor and Rusev kicks Woods in the face for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi goes after Barrett, allowing Woods to roll Rusev up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 13:40.

Rating: C. The match was dull at times but a lot of that is due to the League. New Day is awesome but there’s only so much you can do with a team whose entire gimmick is “we’re from other countries.” You would think this ends things but since this is WWE, the odds are that they’ll keep going a bit longer.

Post match the League destroys New Day for a long time, which would seem to set up another match at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Dean Ambrose with something to say. After seeing the false finish from Roadblock, Ambrose says he’s upset that he isn’t here tonight as the WWE World Champion. One thing is for sure though: HHH is more sore tonight than he’s ever been. That brings Dean to the Road to Wrestlemania but this brings out Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman gives Brock a huge introduction but Dean wants Paul to unleash the Beast.

That’s not a good business move though as it would eliminate one of the biggest matches at Wrestlemania. You don’t want to lose the main event of Wrestlemania, because any match that Brock Lesnar is in is the main event. Heyman says he’ll see Dean in twenty nights and leaves but Brock heads towards the ring. Dean pulls out a crowbar and Brock circles the ring, only to wisely leave before getting hit in the head with a steel crowbar.

Ryback vs. Sin Cara

Cara is in black compared to Kalisto’s white with the mask making him look like a cat. Ryback throws him down to start and does the Thesz press, followed by a big backdrop. The squashing continues with a hard clothesline for two before it’s off to the chinlock. Cara low bridges him to the floor and gets in a suicide dive, only to have a dive caught in the Shell Shock. A second Shell Shock wraps this up at 4:17.

Rating: D+. Total squash but at least they’re finally getting somewhere with Ryback. It’s even better as they’re getting closer to splitting up the Dragons, which has been needed for months now. Hopefully this sets up the title match at Wrestlemania, which is pretty obviously the next step and maybe it can even be a singles match.

Post match Ryback says that’s what happens when a big guy faces a little guy. On top of that though, he’d like a US Title shot at Wrestlemania. Well to be fair, he did just beat Sin Cara. That better make him the #1 contender.

Here’s a strutting Stephanie McMahon who brings out HHH for some bragging about winning on Saturday. It was so much fun crushing the fans’ hope at Roadblock because everyone has hope. It starts in high school when you’re ready to take over the world but then you get married and get a job where hope kicks in. You hope for a raise or a promotion but when you don’t get it, you’re the last person to be blamed.

Then people like the guy in the front row goes to the bar to drink and blame the authority above them because nothing can ever get better. Then you start hoping for the lottery but then thirty years go by and you might get a watch. By this point everything is falling apart and you wind up in a home drooling on yourself. People like that cheer for Roman Reigns because they hope that he can win overcome the Authority and take the WWE World Title at Wrestlemania. He’s going to fail though, just like all of your lives, because the Authority always wins. This brings out…..Dolph Ziggler?

Dolph gets right to the sucking up to the fans, which Stephanie says is very Cena-esque of him. Stephanie knows Dolph is good but he’s not all that great. He’s never going to quit because he’s tired of the fans being insulted. The people live through Ziggler and Ambrose because they were screwed by the system, the Authority’s system. They tease firing him but HHH says that’s not how this works because the Authority knows Ziggler is beloved.

HHH offers a chance at Ziggler joining the Authority but Dolph would never join forces with a corrupt boss and his stupid wife. There’s the big slap but Ziggler still won’t quit. Stephanie makes Ziggler an offer: if he can win any one match tonight, he can have any match he wants at Wrestlemania (save for the World Title match of course). The match is against HHH, albeit non-title.

Why am I watching Dolph Ziggler get a match against HHH with twenty days to go before Raw? I know Ziggler is still kind of popular but does anyone really think this is the best option they have? Are they that scared of putting Reigns on TV this close to Wrestlemania? You would think they would change things around if that’s how bad it’s gotten but for some reason they seem dead set on having Reigns take the title and get his big glory moment, assuming of course that he actually wins the thing.

Sami Zayn vs. The Miz

Kevin Owens is on commentary of course. Sami sends him to the floor but has to bail out of the big dive. We take a break and come back with Sami fighting out of a double arm crank, only to walk int a DDT for two. Sami starts his comeback with the clotheslines and sends Miz to the floor for the big flip dive. Owens offers a distraction but Miz actually takes him own, allowing Sami to hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 7:17.

Rating: C-. Way too much of this was in the break but it was much more about storytelling than anything else and at least Miz lost. The Intercontinental Title match has the potential to be a mess, mainly because they seem intent to add Miz to the match despite his lone win being that minute and a half pin on Ziggler a few weeks back.

We look back at the League beating New Day down.

The League wants one more match with New Day at Wrestlemania where it won’t be a comedy.

Naomi/Tamina vs. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella

Lana comes out for an early distraction, allowing Naomi to get in a cheap shot on Alicia. Tamina cranks on her neck but it’s off to Brie for the worst YES Kicks she’s ever done, which is covering a lot of ground. The BRIE MODE knee hits Tamina and a middle rope Bella Buster gets two as Naomi makes the save. Everything breaks down and Lana offers a distraction, allowing Tamina and Naomi to hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo for the pin on Brie at 2:41.

Alicia goes after Lana but walks into a double superkick.

The Social Outcasts shill for Burger King.

Lana wants the Divas Title when Paige comes in to say Lana hasn’t even had a match yet. If Lana wants a test against a real Diva, Paige would be happy to oblige. This brings in Naomi and Tamina to say Paige shouldn’t run her mouth.

Charlotte talks about how she knew Sasha and Becky before they were Sasha and Becky. She can remember holding Sasha’s hair back before Sasha’s first match because Banks was so nervous. Charlotte can remember Becky being so nervous that she had to be calmed down. Ric is very amused by all this and promises that Charlotte is walking out as champion. This was nice and it’s a good idea to add something personal to the three way. These women have a past and it would be stupid to not go somewhere with it.

Usos vs. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas

The Dudley Boyz are on commentary and talks about not using tables as a crutch. A long string of superkicks put the Outcasts down and the Superfly Splash puts Dallas away at 1:56.

Dean is in the back with his crowbar when Mick Foley comes in. He knows Dean doesn’t have that thing because he loves baseball so why is he doing all this? Dean asks if Foley was afraid when he was on top of that Cell with the Undertaker. Foley: “You mean right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania?”

Foley was afraid but he was up there because that’s what he does. Dean: “I’m Dean Ambrose and this is what I do.” Foley is sick of hearing about Suplex City and would love for Dean to do something about it. Therefore, he has a present for Dean. Foley hands Dean a box and leaves, allowing Dean to pull out the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Again good stuff, but I hope Foley has something else to do besides this match. Ambrose vs. Lesnar doesn’t need help so why waste what Foley can add here?

Dolph Ziggler vs. HHH

Non-title. Cole says this is HHH’s first match on Raw in nearly three years, which you can add to his list of inaccurate statements that are intended to make him sound smart. Ziggler headlocks him down to start and holds onto it for a good while until HHH gets in an elbow to the jaw. A hard whip puts Ziggler into the barricade and we take a break. Back with HHH working on the arm via an armbar and its flying cousin.

The jumping knee to the face gets two and HHH drops the knee to the head for two more. Ziggler is sent to the floor and into the steps for a big crash as the arm is being destroyed. HHH goes to the middle rope for the sole reason of diving into a raised boot (haven’t seen that stupid spot in a long time) and it’s time for the comeback.

The superkick is blocked but the Pedigree is countered so Ziggler settles for two off the Fameasser. You can hear the crowd getting into this. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT but runs into the spinebuster for no cover, though we do get a spot call. A very quick superkick (the called spot) gets two and HHH goes to the outside for a breather. Back in and the Zig Zag is countered, setting up the Pedigree for the pin at 17:29.

Rating: B-. Better than it should have been, especially for what was little more than a long practice session to get HHH back in ring shape. The problem here is that Ziggler isn’t someone who is going to get interest in a match like this because no matter how you look at it, he’s still Dolph Ziggler. Good match though.

Post match here’s Roman Reigns coming down the aisle for no apparent reason, though threats of death by booing could be a possibility. The booing is there but it’s not as bad as it’s been in the past. Reigns destroys HHH around the ring and beats him into the announcers’ table just like HHH did a few weeks ago. HHH gets knocked along the outside and heads to the technical area. They head to the back where HHH is bleeding from the side of the head. Reigns breaks a TV monitor over his head and some wrestlers finally get him out of there.

Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.

Goldust is walking through the back (because he’s just there in wrestling gear every week) when he runs into a penguin. Of course it’s R-Truth, but he doesn’t know they’re in Pittsburgh (the Pittsburgh Penguins are a hockey team if that makes no sense). See, when penguins meet their mates, they’re mates for life. Therefore, R-Truth wants Goldust to be his tag partner for life. That’s another no from Goldust. R-Truth: “That’s cold.”

Chris Jericho comes out for his match but first he has to insult the fans for cheering AJ Styles. Last week Jericho had to show AJ who his daddy was because Jericho is the really phenomenal one.

Chris Jericho vs. Neville

Jericho starts fast and sends him out to the floor for a break less than a minute in. Back with Neville hurricanrana Jericho for two but coming up limping. Jericho rolls him up for two before shoving the referee for the DQ at 4:50. No rating due to the commercial of course.

Post match Jericho tells the fans to chant for AJ Styles so here’s AJ with a forearm, now called the Phenomenal Forearm.

Here’s Vince to wrap things up. Vince has his entrance done twice for some reason before talking about how Shane could come out here the night after Wrestlemania and talk about how it’s a new era in WWE. Everything will change because it’s a new reality but that reality is going to be a nightmare. However that’s not going to happen because Vince has the ultimate instrument of destruction named the Undertaker.

After a nearly three minute entrance, Vince tells Undertaker to never put his hands on him again (referencing a few weeks back). Undertaker takes off the hat and coat so Vince apologizes for bringing it up again. Vince knows that Undertaker doesn’t mind doing the devil’s work like ramming Shane McMahon into the steel and leaving his spirit in a pool beneath his feet. Some people call it an unholy alliance but Vince calls it best for business. Cue Shane and his orange shoes to say that he’ll never stop coming at Undertaker no matter how long it takes.

Undertaker grabs the mic and says it still won’t be enough. Undertaker’s legacy, even more than Wrestlemania, is his fists. Shane agrees that Undertaker is a legend but he doesn’t understand why Undertaker is dancing like Vince’s puppet. Undertaker says no one controls him but Shane says Undertaker is being Vince’s…..well I think you know what he said. The fight is on and amazingly enough Shane’s punches have almost no effect. Vince shoves Shane into a chokeslam before running away from Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that was something. It’s like they suddenly remembered that Wrestlemania is in less than three weeks but forgot that they haven’t done jack yet. Some of the stuff on there is fine (Brock vs. Dean) and can help fix a lot of the issues so it’s not a total loss, but stuff like HHH vs. Reigns is firmly in car wreck territory. The midcard stuff is better but the two main events are absolute disasters at this point. This show could be one of the biggest disasters in years unless they pull off a miracle (which they could). Right now it really does feel like they’ve run out of ideas and are throwing in whatever they can to make this work, which is almost never a good idea.

Results

New Day b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Rusev

Ryback b. Sin Cara – Shell Shock

Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick

Tamina/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Powerslam/neckbreaker combination to Fox

Usos b. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas – Superfly Splash

HHH b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree

Neville b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Jericho shoved the referee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

The bitterness returns as we look at the drek that was this week’s Raw.

http://mightynorcal.podbean.com/e/wwp-41-so-much-depression-and-cussing-as-kb-and-myself-try-to-figure-out-why-we-subject-ourselves-to-wwehey-at-least-there-is-nxt-right/

I’ve been asked to talk about Roman Reigns vs. HHH and the Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Undertaker stuff so here’s a column about both of them (in different sections) plus some other news that makes me shake my head.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-road-work-to-be-done/