Impact Wrestling – September 21, 2023: The Mixup

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 21, 2023
Location: Westchester County Center, White Plains, New York
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifana

This is the second week of the 1000th episode celebration and that means we should be in for a big night. In this case, we have a ten woman Knockouts tag match that has quite the potential. Other than that, we have a month to go before Bound For Glory and there is a good chance that we will be finding out more about the show this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Ace Austin vs. Alan Angels vs. Mike Bailey vs. Rich Swann vs. Zachary Wentz vs. Samurai del Sol

Ultimate X (the fiftieth edition) for a future X-Division Title shot. Del Sol clears the ring of Wentz and Angels, setting up a big dive. Swann dives onto most of them, followed by Austin hitting a rolling flip dive of his own. Del Sol, Bailey and Angels go up and hit huge dives out to the other three on the floor for the huge crash (that looked good).

That leaves Swann to hit a top rope cutter, but Bailey and Angels go up top of the structure, with Angels hanging upside down by a leg. Del Sol and Bailey go for the X but Wentz and Angels shake the ropes for the save in a smart bit. Bailey hangs on though, leaving Swann to beat up Wentz on the ground. Angels goes after Bailey but has to snap off a hurricanrana to Swann.

Wentz spray paints Swann as Bailey is now hanging upside down by his legs and trying to get over to the X. Del Sol gets sprayed as well so it’s Wentz, Angels and Austin going after the X as well. They’re all hanging on the cables but Wentz spray paints Austin down. Bailey manages his rapid fire kicks to knock Wentz down but Angels kicks Bailey low to put everyone down. Angels goes back up and gets the X for the win at 9:40.

Rating: B-. These things are always such insanity with one big spot after another and that’s what you had here. It was a fun match with people flying all over the place, with that spot of four people hanging upside down at once being quite the visual. As odd as this match can be, it’s Impact’s match and having one on here makes all the sense in the world.

Post break Angels announces that he is cashing in his title shot next week.

Dirty Dango vs. Jake Something

Alpha Bravo is here with Dango. We go WAY old school here with the Fox Box, meaning a graphic with a countdown clock on the top of the screen (ten minute time limit) and there is a judge (former Tag Team Champion Chase Stevens) watching in case it goes to a draw. We also get a crawl on the bottom, hyping up the rest of the show.

Something chases him to the floor to start and hits a slam, followed by a clothesline for two back inside. Dango manages a running uppercut for two but Something runs him over with a clothesline. Bravo tries to get in a shot with a flashlight but hits Dango by mistake, setting up Into The Void to give Something the pin at 3:59.

Rating: C. Something continues to feel like a monster in the making and now he’s starting to rack up some wins. That’s the way you make someone into a star and Impact seems to understand that with Something. At the same time, Dango is a great smarmy heel and it feels good to see him get what is coming to him.

Steve Maclin is ready to end things with Rhino, who runs in to jump him.

Post break Santino Marella yells at Rhino, who doesn’t care.

Kenny King vs. Eric Young

King has Sheldon Jean with him so Young has Scott D’Amore. Jean comes in for the DQ at 33 seconds.

Post match Shark Boy (the Deputy Directory Of Authority) makes it a tag match.

Kenny King/Sheldon Jean vs. Eric Young/Scott D’Amore

The Design runs in for the DQ at 17 seconds.

Shark Boy says let’s make it an eight man tag because we have some special guests.

Kenny King/Sheldon Jean/The Design vs. Eric Young/Scott D’Amore/America’s Most Wanted

We’re joined in progress with AMW taking over on King, including Chris Harris hitting a bulldog for two. D’Amore comes in to work on Deaner’s arm so it’s off to Young, who has Deaner worried. He’s so worried that he hands it back to King, who takes over on Young. Kon gets in a few right hands before missing a charge in the corner. That’s enough for Young to hit the Death Valley Driver and it’s James Storm coming in to beat on Jean.

King’s cheap shot lets Jean hit a side kick but a hot shot cuts Jean off. Young adds the top rope elbow for two but King hits a Blockbuster. We hit the parade of knockdowns until Harris and Kon have a showdown. Storm hits the Last call on Deaner, leaving D’Amore to hit a Sky High on Jean. Young’s piledriver is good for the pin at 6:56 shown.

Rating: C+. The people running in over and over and the match growing was a good story and having America’s Most Wanted on the show was great to see. They were one of the first acts to really get over in Impact Wrestling, with James Storm in particular being an absolute requirement for the show. This was wacky entertainment with some nostalgia thrown in, which is exactly what it should have been.

We look back at how Chris Bey, Crazzy Steve, Yuya Uemura and Moose won Feast Or Fired briefcases.

We see a clip of Team 3D reuniting last week, with Brother Ray talking about how they didn’t want to have this reunion match anywhere else but here. D-Von credits the fans with bringing him back after his health issues and we hit the catchphrase.

Back to Feast Or Fired, with Yuya Uemura wanting to find “champions”, which Joe Hendry says means a Tag Team Title shot. Bey and Moose want the same thing, but Steve wants a heart, a liver or maybe lungs. Steve gets to open his case first and finds….a Digital Media Title shot, sending him of saying “and the world was full of dreamers” over and over.

Moose finds…..a World Title shot.

Bey finds….a Tag Team Title shot, meaning Uemura is FIRED. Hendry isn’t sure what to say and everything is quiet.

Trey Miguel vs. Josh Alexander

Zachary Wentz is here with Miguel. They start fast and go to the floor, where Alexander blocks a hurricanrana attempt. Back in and a heck of a German suplex drops Miguel but Wentz offers a distraction. The big flip dive takes Alexander out and we take a break. Back with Miguel choking in the corner, setting up a pull on the face. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Alexander fights up and throws Miguel down.

Miguel scores with a kick and goes up, only to have Alexander cut him off. A clothesline drops Miguel but he catches Alexander on top for a super headscissors. The top rope Meteora is countered into Alexander’s ankle lock but Miguel sends him outside. Wentz gets in a cheap shot on Alexander but here is Alex Shelley to drop Wentz as well. The C4 Spike finishes Miguel at 14:04.

Rating: B. The ending makes things more interesting but this was the “here are two talented guys doing their thing” match. That’s all but guaranteed to work and Alexander picks up a win that should continue pushing him towards Bound For Glory. Miguel losing again isn’t nice to see, though he and Wentz have done well enough as a team to give him some padding.

Post match Shelley says he was out here to hut the Rascalz rather than help Alexander. That’s cool with Alexander, who is coming for the World Title at Bound For Glory.

Will Ospreay will face Mike Bailey at Bound For Glory.

Jonathan Gresham comes in to see Mike Bailey, who asks how he was. Gresham knows Bailey has a bunch of stuff on his plate but wants a good match of his own. Bailey recommends they face off again, which Gresham likes.

Jason Hotch comes in to ask the Rascalz about the Good Hands’ Tag Team Title shot (confirming that they were in cahoots) but Zachary Wentz says it’s not a good time. ABC comes in to show off the briefcase so Hotch stands up to them. The Rascalz bail and Hotch is a bit nervous.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Team Beautiful People vs. Team Kong

Beautiful People: Angelina Love/Savannah Evans/Deonna Purrazzo/Tasha Steelz/Gisele Shaw
Kong: Awesome Kong/Jordynne Grace/Gail Kim/Trinity/Mickie James

Raesha Saed, Jai Vidal and Velvet Sky Evans are here too. Love drives Trinity into the corner to start and knocks her down for a bonus. Trinity fights up and knocks her back, allowing the double tag off to Grace and Shaw. A Jackhammer gives Grace two and Mickie adds the top rope Thesz press. We take a break and come back with Kin crashing out to the floor where the villains get in some cheap shots.

Back in and Steelz grabs a camel clutch but Kim is back on her feet rather quickly. Kim grabs a Black Widow but it’s quickly off to Shaw for a swinging Downward Spiral. Mickie makes a save this time and Purrazzo comes in for the chinlock. Kim fights up again and stereo crossbodies leave both of them down.

That’s enough to bring Kong in to clean house. We get the Evans vs. Kong showdown, with Evans blocking a chokeslam. Kong drops her fast as everything breaks down, with Mickie and Trinity hitting stereo Thesz presses. Steelz is sent outside onto some villains plus trinity but Grace fireman’s carries Kim to run Evans over. Kim hits a big dive to the floor and Kong hits the Implant Buster to finish Shaw at 14:34.

Rating: B. The quality here was ok, but this was about having the legends and modern stars mix it up and that worked well. Kong and Kim teaming together is one of those things that feels like a special moment and it was a very nice way to end such a milestone show. I had a great time with this and that is exactly what they seemed to be trying to do.

The Beautiful People bag Jai Vidal and the winners celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was much more of a regular edition of the show with some nostalgia sprinkled in. That works just fine after last week and I had a good time with the whole thing. We have a main event for Bound For Glory and AMW was back in a cool surprise. That’s a great mixture of stuff and the show was a fun ride throughout. Now just get to Chicago for the big show and Impact could be back on its roll from earlier this year.

Results
Alan Angels won Ultimate X
Jake Something b. Dirty Dango – Into The Void
Eric Young b. Kenny King via DQ when Sheldon Jean interfered
Eric Young/Scott D’Amore b. Kenny King/Sheldon Jean via DQ when the Design interfered
Eric Young/Scott D’Amore/America’s Most Wanted b. The Design/Kenny King/Sheldon Jean – Piledriver to Jean
Josh Alexander b. Trey Miguel – C4 Spike
Team Kong b. Team Beautiful People – Implant Buster to Shaw

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 23, 2022: A Different Balancing Act

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2022
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Slammiversary and that means things need to pick up a bit. While a few lower level titles changed hands at the pay per view, Josh Alexander retained the World Title in the main event by defeating Eric Young. That means he needs a new challenger and we might find out who that is today. Let’s get to it.

Here is Slammiversary if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Slammiversary, as you probably saw coming.

Opening sequence, now back to We Own The Night instead of the mixtures from recent weeks.

Here is Honor No More to take over the show to start, with Mike Bennett stealing a camera so Eddie Edwards can talk about how the celebration is continuing today. Everyone has been going crazy with the nostalgia but Honor No More is the one thing that people should be talking about. They didn’t lose on Sunday…..except for PCO. Vincent says he brought PCO back to life for Honor No More instead of Impact.

We hear about Traci Brooks and D’Lo Brown interfering, plus Earl Hebner suddenly being a referee. All this happened while Scott D’Amore watched on, which has Vincent thinking. They are the ones who are always making this place more interesting, but here is America’s Most Wanted to interrupt. James Storm says the lyrics to his theme music before talking about how things used to be around here. Storm sums up the problem with Honor No More: they suck.

Kenny King asks what year it is and says Storm might as well have come out here on his own. Chris Harris says if King keeps talking, he’ll make King cry harder than he did on the Bachelorette. Violence is teased but AMW brings out the Good Brothers to even things up a bit more. The brawl is on but Honor No More gets the better of things until the Briscoes make the real save. House is cleaned and Honor No More is cleared out.

Gisele Shaw offers Alisha Edwards a cupcake after Masha Slamovich wrecked her. This turns into an argument, as Edwards mocks Shaw for having no friends but Shaw is off to find a partner to win the Tag Team Titles. They got more than a bit lost in the messaging here and I’m not entirely sure how they got from A to B.

Honor No More yells at Scott D’Amore so they get a ten man tag at Against All Odds and a six man tonight.

Chelsea Green vs. Mia Yim

Deonna Purrazzo comes out with Green and joins commentary. Green fires off the kicks to start and sends Yim pretty hard into the corner. They head outside with Yim hitting a suplex and we take a break. Back with Yim grabbing a bow and arrow but Green slips out and hammers away. That doesn’t last long as Green is up with a whip into the corner, setting up a Tarantula.

With that broken up as well, Green kicks her down to the floor for a breather. Back in and Yim kicks away, only to get caught with a Codebreaker into a Stomp for a rather close two. Green loads up Yim’s Eat Defeat but gets reversed into a quick belly to back suplex. Yim goes up but Purrazzo shoves her down for the crash. Cue Mickie James to jump Purrazzo, allowing Yim to hit Eat Defeat for the pin at 12:29.

Rating: B-. That might be high but I was getting into this one, even with the screwy finish. They got rolling here rather well and beat each other up for a pretty long while. It might be the best Green match I’ve ever seen and Yim wasn’t that far behind. Good stuff here and I was into it almost all the way throughout.

Post match Mia and Mickie look at each other, with a tag match seeming likely.

The Influence isn’t happy with their loss and don’t seem thrilled with each other either. Gisele Shaw comes in to offer her services to replace the injured Madison Rayne. That might be possible, if Shaw can take out Rosemary or Taya Valkyrie.

Bhupinder Gujjar/Shark Boy vs. Johnny Swinger/Zicky Dice

Shark Boy (with a rather good sized gut) starts with Swinger but it’s off to Dice before much happens. Gujjar comes in as well and gets to pummel both goons a bit before handing it right back to Shark Boy. Dice gets hammered in the corner but a Swinger distraction lets him hit a quick clothesline. That’s about it for Shark boy getting beaten on though as he gets over to Gujjar for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and the Chummer hits Swinger, followed by the middle rope spear to finish Dice at 3:44.

Rating: C. The match was nothing to see but how could you not have a good time with this? They weren’t trying to do anything more than have a good time with the old guys and Dice while giving Gujjar a win. It was a quick, fun match and that is all it was supposed to be, especially with how short they kept things here.

Post match Deaner and Joe Doering run in and take out Gujjar and Shark Boy. Deaner wants Josh Alexander out here RIGHT NOW but that’s not what he gets. Instead, he gets Alexander after a break, with Alexander asking why he’s here. Deaner hypes up Doering as Alexander’s next challenger at Against All Odds. The staredown is on with Deaner keeping up the threats/promises but Alexander promises to take Alexander out. The brawl is on with Alexander getting beaten down until security comes out and gets beaten up too. Actually hold on because Alexander wants to do this now.

Josh Alexander vs. Deaner

Non-title. Alexander strikes away to start and drops an early knee, followed by a backbreaker for two. Deaner gets sent to the apron for the running crossbody dive from Alexander to put him on the floor in a heap. That works better for Deaner who manages a posting, setting up some shots to the back of the head back inside. Deaner ties him up in the corner and hits a running dropkick to the back to jar Alexander’s neck hard.

It doesn’t seem to do much damage to Alexander, who is right back with the rolling German suplexes. The ankle lock is blocked so Alexander hits another German suplex, followed by the ankle lock in the corner. Since that can’t last, Deaner is right back with a big boot but the Deaner DDT is countered into the ankle lock for the tap at 5:12.

Rating: C. Not too bad here but there wasn’t exactly a ton of drama. Deaner is little more than the designated goon of the team and while that is a good spot for him, it doesn’t exactly leave much for him to do in the ring. Alexander running through Violent By Design for a few weeks is a fine enough short form story before we get to the Bound For Glory build, though I can’t imagine it mattering anywhere beyond Against All Odds.

Frankie Kazarian calls Slammiversary one of the best nights of his career and we hear a quick recap of the ten man tag. Now though, he wants one more match with his career rival, Chris Sabin.

Jordynne Grace is happy with her Knockouts Title win and thanks Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans.

Steelz is ready to get her title back at Against All Odds, but first, Grace can face Evans.

Sami Callihan vs. Jack Price

Sami offers him a headlock to start before hitting a fast clothesline. The Cactus Driver 97 finishes Price at 1:21.

Post match Moose comes in and jumps Sami, including putting him through a table at ringside.

The Good Brothers tell the Briscoes they have their back in the main event. James Storm is ready to go to the ring too but first he tells Chris Harris to stay in the back and Harris actually agrees.

Sami Callihan runs into Gail Kim and wants another match with Moose. That’s cool with Gail, who makes a Clockwork Orange House Of Fun match.

Here’s what’s coming up on upcoming shows.

Honor No More vs. James Storm/Good Brothers/Briscoes

Matt Taven/Mike Bennett/Eddie Edwards for the team here. Mark drives Taven into the corner to start with Taven hitting a quick dropkick. Back up and they chop it out until Taven is taken into the corner for a running big boot from Jay. Taven gets over for the tag off to Edwards, with Storm coming in to neckbreaker him down. Everything breaks down and both Briscoes hit a dive as we take a break.

Back with Storm cleaning house until Bennett gets in a shot to the face to cut him down. They get back in and Taven hits a middle rope moonsault for two on Storm and Eddie grabs the front facelock. As you might have guessed, that means Storm can get up and drive Eddie into the corner but the referee doesn’t see the tag.

Storm manages a Backstabber out of the other corner though and the hot tag brings in Mark to really clean house. Redneck Boogie hits Taven but Eddie is back up to drop Mark. The Last Call hits Eddie but Bennett is back with a superkick. The Broton Pack to finish Mark at 15:44.

Rating: C+. I was a little confused coming into this because of the ten man tag at Against All Odds but at least we got a decent enough match here. Storm is one of those wrestlers who never ages and it is always nice to see him back in an Impact ring. Honor No More winning to get back on track is a good thing too as they still have enough status to keep them as a threat, which is a valuable thing to have.

Post match the rest of Honor No More runs in to keep up the beating but the Good Brothers run in for the save. That doesn’t work either and Mark’s leg is Pillmanized over and over to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a weird show as they had to keep things moving to get towards Against All Odds, but at the same time they had to find a way to come out from Slammiversary. They managed to stick most of the landing and at least they didn’t do anything too bad. Fun enough show, though having Against All Odds next week isn’t a great move. At least they had something here though and it was a pretty good show.

Results
Mia Yim b. Chelsea Green – Eat Defeat
Bhupinder Gujjar/Shark Boy b. Johnny Swinger/Zicky Dice – Middle rope spear to Dice
Josh Alexander b. Deaner – Ankle lock
Sami Callihan b. Jack Price – Cactus Driver 97
Honor No More b. Briscoes/James Storm – Broton Pack to Mark

 

 

 

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Slammiversary 2022: The Balancing act

Slammiversary 2022
Date: June 19, 2022
Location: The Asylum, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the big twenty year celebration of Impact wrestling and the company is doing its best to flash back and move forward at the same time. The main event is Josh Alexander defending the World Title, but we also have a Queen of the Mountain match and Ultimate X to keep up the tradition. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Digital Media Title: Rich Swann vs. Brian Myers

Swann is defending but Myers has the title belt. Myers shrugs off right hands to start so Swann snaps off a headscissors to send him outside. A drop onto the apron cuts Swann off though and we hit the chinlock back inside. With that not working, Myers grabs a chinlock to keep Swann down.

Swann fights up and strikes away for two but it’s too early for the Phoenix splash. Myers hits a spear (instead of the Roster Cut) for two, only for Swann to come back with a neckbreaker. An implant DDT gives Myers two more but Swann cuts him down with Lethal Injection. The 450 finishes Myers at 7:13.

Rating: C. This was a good bit more fun than I would have bet on with Myers hitting some nice stuff (that spear was quite impressive) before falling as he should have. Swann has fallen a very long way, but at least he is doing something and is valuable enough to be a champion. Now just find something more important for him and start using the talent that he has.

Reverse Battle Royal

Chris Bey, Steve Maclin, Zicky Dice, Johnny Swinger, Shark Boy, Raj Singh, Aiden Prince, Bhupinder Gujjar, David Young, Shera, Slash, Crazzy Steve, Mike Jackson, Nate Webb, Shogun, Chase Stevens

So there are ten people on the floor to start and the first eight to get inside have a regular battle royal, with the final two having a regular singles match for the win. I think. Even commentary isn’t too sure. Dice seems to get in and then get back out, followed by Bey, Swinger, Maclin and Young getting in. We more or less pause the match to watch Jackson (72 years old) go Old School on Shera while walking along the barricade. After 84 seconds (not exaggerating), Jackson drops down onto Shera’s arm, only to have Singh jump them and send Shera in anyway.

So the field of eight is Shera, Gujjar, Stevens, Bey, Shark Boy, Young, Maclin and Swinger. Shera tosses Stevens and it’s time for the brawling on the ropes. Maclin and Bey fight to the apron as we’re told the pay per view starts in less than five minutes. Bey hits the Art of Finesse on the apron to eliminate Maclin and himself. There go Shera and Gujjar so we’re down to Swinger, Young and Shark Boy.

The spinebuster plants Shark Boy but Swinger turns on Young and tosses him out, meaning it’s Shark Boy vs. Swinger in a regular singles match. Swinger throws him out and has to be told that’s not how it works. Worry not as Swinger stops to pose, allowing Shark Boy to hit the Chummer for the win at 9:44.

Rating: C. What else are you supposed to say about this? The match is more or less the Impact version of the gimmick battle royal and there is nothing wrong with that for a show like this one. I could have gone with a bit less of watching Jackson walking around the barricade, but Shark Boy winning the match is about as fun as it could have been. Nothing important, but it was fun enough while it lasted.

The opening video looks at the history of the company, which really does have some classic moments. I know the company has a bad reputation, but twenty years is a REALLY long time in the wrestling business and Impact deserves a lot of credit for sticking around. Now some of those stars are here (“In a place between yesterday and tomorrow.”) and it’s time for a celebration of the past and a step into the future.

X-Division Title: Trey Miguel vs. Ace Austin vs. Alex Zayne vs. Andrew Everett vs. Kenny King vs. Mike Bailey

Austin is defending and this is Ultimate X, with Everett taking the place of an injured Jack Evans. Tom: “This is the 47th Ultimate X match.” I don’t think that has the same zing that you think it does. It’s a big brawl to start with Bailey and Zayne clearing the ring so they can both go for failed climb attempts. With the two of them down, Miguel sends King outside and hits a big flip dive but has to cut Austin off.

Everett comes back in but Austin kicks Miguel and Everett down without much effort. Everything breaks down again and Everett German suplexes Miguel on the apron. The big dive drops the pile though and everyone is down on the floor. Back in and Zayne hits a running super hurricanrana on Everett, leaving us with Zayne vs. King. Bailey goes up but hits the Ultimate Weapon onto the pile instead of climbing, which doesn’t seem that bright.

A bunch of people go to the corner for a Tower Of Doom, with Miguel being smart enough to chill in the corner. Then he gives Zayne a super Canadian Destroyer, which doesn’t seem as bright as GOING FOR THE BELT. King, Austin, Miguel and Bailey all go up at the same time until Miguel and King are kicked down. Bailey and Austin hang on the top and slap away at each other but Everett goes above them, only to get headscissored down. Some kicks drop Austin as well and Bailey pulls himself up to win the title at 9:50.

Rating: C+. Ultimate X is one of those matches that sounds great on paper but it’s Impact’s version of the wacky ladder match: everyone does a bunch of stuff until someone shows enough intelligence to pull the belt down. Impact has been building towards Bailey winning for a long time now so this is about as good of an idea as they had. I’m not big on the guy, but at least it has been set up over the last few weeks.

Commentary pays tribute to Bob Ryder, who was a huge part of the development of Impact but passed away in 2020. This show is dedicated to him. That’s very nice.

We run down the rest of the card.

Scott Hudson (let the flashbacks begin) talks to the Motor City Machine Guns, Frankie Kazarian and Nick Aldis about their match with Honor No More tonight. First up though, the Guns are happy with being named the best team in the company’s history. Alex Shelley lists off some of the great teams over the years (and there are some impressive ones) but they are all ready to fight tonight. Aldis says the team doesn’t look the same but what matters is that they are here because they are serious about wrestling. They have a fifth man, but you’ll have to see who it is later. Hudson: “They’re keeping it kayfabe as always.”

We get a video from Sting, talking about what his time in Impact meant to him. He really was a big deal around here and it is nice to see him here. We even hear about his feud with Hulk Hogan, who I didn’t think you could talk about around here anymore.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie vs. Influence

The Influence is defending and hold their titles like babies. Valkyrie wrestles Rayne down to start and carries her into the corner, where Rosemary tags herself in. This doesn’t sit well with Valkyrie, even though that’s how you set up a tag most of the time. Dashwood comes in as well but gets taken into the corner for a kick to the head.

Back up and Dashwood gets in a shot on Rosemary to knock her into the corner so the champs can take over. The chinlock goes on, with Rosemary suplexing her way to freedom without much effort. Valkyrie comes in to strike away at both champs and something like a Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Rayne. Everything breaks down and Rosemary’s spear is cut off.

That doesn’t seem to matter though as the champs are sent into each other, setting up stereo spears for stereo near falls. Rayne shoves Rosemary into Valkyrie though and a neckbreaker over the ropes drops Valkyrie. The Collab drops Rosemary but Valkyrie’s distraction lets Rosemary pop up. As Above So Below finishes Rayne for the pin and the titles at 7:19.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given edition of Impact and that isn’t a surprise. These titles still don’t mean much but at least it seems like teams are interested in winning them. Rosemary and Taya are kind of a thrown together team but they do have history so it could be worse. Not much of a match, though I can’t imagine that’s much of a surprise these days.

We get a video from Kurt Angle for thanking him for all of his time in Impact Wrestling. Simple and to the point here.

We recap Moose vs. Sami Callihan. Moose injured Callihan about ten months ago but Callihan is back and stalking Moose, setting up tonight’s Monster’s Ball match.

Sami Callihan vs. Moose

Monster’s Ball, meaning street fight, but with the gimmick that they have been locked away without food, water or light for 24 hours (as was the original idea of the match but it was dropped over the years). Sami jumps him during the entrance and they start fast with a slugout on the floor. A trashcan to the back drops Moose and it’s time for the cookie sheets to the head.

Moose gets in a trashcan lid shot of his own for a breather but gets smart enough to grab a water bottle and a hot dog from a fan. Sami is already busted open as Moose chokeslams him onto the apron. Moose does it again for a bonus as we’re told about this being the 54th Monster’s Ball match. Again: doesn’t sound so great. Sami gets put through a table and they get inside for the first time over four minutes into the match. Some shots to the ankle are blocked and Sami pelts a chair at Moose’s head.

The spear only sends Moose into the trashcan, which Sami stands up for a bonus. It’s time for the…barbed wire door (just go with it), allowing Moose to escape the trashcan. Moose goes up top, only to get shoved off and through a table at ringside. The thumbtacks are brought in but Sami’s tornado DDT is countered into a chokebomb into said tacks for two. Moose drags him through the tacks for a bonus but the spear is countered into a Death Valley Driver through the barbed wire door.

It’s time for a duel of the trashcan lids until both guys go down. Back up and it’s a regular slugout with Sami getting the better of things and hitting a Cactus Special for two. Another Cactus Special is cut off by a low blow and Moose sets up a trashcan. Moose goes up but gets powerbombed onto the (standing up) trashcan. Another Cactus Special gives Sami one so he grabs another one for the pin at 14:55.

Rating: B-. This is a good example of a match where if you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it a dozen times. They hit all of the regular spots and Sami won to set him back on the right road after being gone for so long. I’m not sure what is next for Sami around here, but there are certainly a lot of people for him to beat him in one violent match like this after another.

We recap the Good Brothers vs. the Briscoes for the Tag Team Titles. The Briscoes won the titles but the Brothers said that it doesn’t matter until the Briscoes beat the. Throw in a trip to the Briscoes’ farm and it’s time for a title/grudge match.

Tag Team Titles: Good Brothers vs. Briscoes

The Briscoes are defending. It’s a brawl to start (shocking) with the Briscoes getting the better of things and double shouldering Anderson down. Some flip dives drop the Brothers again and Jay spinebusters Anderson on the stage. Mark gets back in and Jay tosses him a chair, which he uses for a running flip dive to take out the Brothers again. Back in and Mark hits Anderson with something like a Claymore but Anderson sends Jay into the chair in the corner to cut him off for a change.

The chinlock doesn’t last long on Jay as he fights up and superkicks his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Mark to clean house with right hands and an enziguri as we hear about some great Impact teams of years past. An Iconoclasm gets two on Anderson but he’s right back with a spinebuster for two. The reverse 3D sets up the Magic Killer, with Jay making the save. Jay is sent into the post though and that means it is going to be awhile before he is ready for a tag.

Mark tries to fight his own way out of trouble but gets dropped with a single shot to the face. The Gun Stun is blocked and Jay comes back in (minus the tag) to help clean house. The Jay Driller and Doomsday Device are both broken up and a kick to the face drops Jay. Now the Magic Killer can connect to give the Brothers the pin and the titles at 10:06.

Rating: C+. This was surprisingly short as I was expecting something long and a bit epic. Instead, we got a pretty fast but hard hitting match without much of the Brothers being in control until the end. The Briscoes losing again is a bit surprising, but maybe they aren’t locked in as long as the Brothers at this point. I’m not thrilled with the Brothers winning, as they have dominated for far too long, but at least the Briscoes were able to breathe some fresh life into the division for awhile.

Post match respect is teased but here is America’s Most Wanted to interrupt. James Storm says tag team wrestling has always meant something around here and he is proud that this company has made it twenty years. After being told they wouldn’t last a week, a month or a year, sorry about your d*** luck. Beer is consumed.

We get a tribute to Mike Tenay and Don West. That’s rather awesome, though not so much with West battling lymphoma.

We recap Honor No More vs. the Impact originals. It’s the team that is all about respect and history vs. the team that doesn’t care in a story that pretty much writes itself.

Christy Hemme brings out Scott D’Amore (in Coach gear) for commentary.

Honor No More vs. Motor City Machine Guns/Frankie Kazarian/Nick Aldis/???

Maria is back with Honor No More (Eddie Edwards/Matt Taven/Mike Bennett/Vincent/PCO). Aldis is billed as a former NWA World Champion. True, but you would think his two Impact World Title reigns might carry a bit more weight here. There is a mystery partner and it’s….Dixie Carter? Ah never mind as she’s here for a speech (shocking I know) and also to introduce…Davey Richards. Not a name I would have bet on, or one I wanted to see for that matter, but he’s a name from the past.

It’s a brawl to start with the Guns beating up the Kingdom until we settle down to Aldis suplexing Bennett. Vincent and Kazarian come in to slug it out before we get the battle of the Wolves. Well maybe in a bit as Edwards hands it off to Taven instead, meaning it’s a parade of beatings. Everything breaks down and Honor No More takes turns getting beaten up in a bunch of corners. Shelley finally gets sent into the corner for a bunch of running shots, setting up Vincent’s running Downward Spiral for two.

Taven’s moonsault sets up Just The Top for two but PCO’s De-Animator misses. Shelley fights out of the corner, including a double Sliced Bread to Vincent and Edwards, which finally allows the hot tag off to Kazarian. House is cleaned again before it’s off to Aldis for a bunch of right hands. Everything breaks down again and it’s the Dream Sequence to Edwards, followed by a big dive to Bennett. Taven busts out the Flight Of The Conqueror to take out the pile, leaving Edwards vs. Richards again.

Richards gets the better of things and grabs the dragon screw legwhip in the ropes. The top rope double stomp misses but Richards is fine enough to grab a leglock on Edwards. Everyone in Honor No More outside of PCO gets caught in a hold so it’s PCO making the save. A Vader Bomb gets two on Sabin but the PCOsault misses Aldis. The Michinoku Driver puts PCO down and Richards adds the top rope double stomp for two.

Maria gets up on the apron for a distraction but Traci Brooks (Kazarian’s wife) pulls her off for a right hand. Kazarian saves Traci from PCO and it’s a top rope Flux Capacitor to plant PCO for two. Cue Kenny King to go after Kazarian but D’Lo Brown makes the save with a heck of a Sky High. There’s a Low Down to make it worse and the Guns strike away at PCO. The Kingdom gets dropped as well and there’s the Cradle Shock to PCO….with Earl Hebner coming over the barricade to count the pin at 18:46.

Rating: B-. This was the wild match that the show needed as a big celebration of the company’s history. That is something that you have to have on a show like this and it worked well enough. It helps that the match was good, but this was all about the history and tradition and that was a success.

AJ Styles talks about some of his favorite moments in TNA, including the Unbreakable three way with Samoa Joe and Christopher Daniels. Styles has been named the Most Impactful X-Division wrestler and male wrestler overall and he thanks WWE for letting him do this, because Impact is that important. You can’t have a show like this without hearing from Styles so this had to be here.

We recap Queen Of The Mountain and go over the still ridiculous rules. It’s a five way match with wrestlers having to score a pin to become eligible to hang the title. When someone is pinned, they go to a penalty box for two minutes. The first person to climb a ladder and hang the title (because it’s a reverse ladder match with pins and a penalty box) wins.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Tasha Steelz vs. Mia Yim vs. Deonna Purrazzo vs. Chelsea Green

Steelz, with Savannah Evans, is defending in Queen Of The Mountain and Mickie James is guest enforcer. Steelz has Mickie themed gear describing herself as “The Greatest Who Beat The Greatest” for a nice touch. The bell rings and Steelz bails to the floor to grab a table with Evans. Yim takes both of them out with a dive and Green hits her own flip dive (thankfully not breaking her arm for a change).

Purrazzo adds her own dive and Green rolls Steelz up to become eligible and send her to the penalty box for two minutes. Mickie sends Evans into the box as well, leaving Grace and Yim to beat up Purrazzo. Steelz and Evans are out with Steelz getting to strike away. Evans gets back inside and is ejected by Mickie, leaving Steelz to kick green down. Yim makes the save and suplexes Green for the pin/eligibility/penalty box time.

Green isn’t happy and hits Mickie with the door as Purrazzo has to cut off Yim from hanging the title. With Yim going up anyway, Steelz comes off the top with a cutter to pull her back down. As Purrazzo armbars Steelz, Green is released and takes Grace down with a spear. Steelz taps so Purrazzo can be eligible but it’s time to go after Grace. A Backstabber sends her outside as Green sends Yim into the corner for two. Green holds up the title as Steelz is released from the box.

The ladder is laid up against the ropes and it’s Yim coming off the penalty box to dropkick Green into said ladder. Yim hits a big dive to take out a bunch of people, setting up a package piledriver on the floor to pin Grace (remember Yim was already eligible). Green headbutts Steelz down and goes up but James is back in to break it up in an act of rather unprofessional revenge.

Purrazzo powerbombs Yim onto a ladder and goes up at the same time as Green. As Grace is released, Yim shoves the ladder over to put both Green and Purrazzo through the table. Yim gets dropped and double pinned by Grace and Steelz, meaning everyone is eligible. Steelz goes up but Grace hits her with a MuscleBuster for the pin, allowing Grace to hang the title for the win at 18:24.

Rating: C+. What do you say about a match like this? It’s total insanity and the rules are such a mess that it is quite the chore to keep track of everything that is going on. Grace was the monster throughout the match and it makes sense to have her win, as she hasn’t been around the title in a long time. Granted Masha Slamovich seems to be waiting on whoever won the title, but Grace winning is nice to see.

Goldilocks, the original backstage interviewer, talks to the most Impactful Knockout of all time: Gail Kim (I was hoping for Roxie Laveaux), who is rather pleased with everything that has been going on.

We recap Eric Young challenging Josh Alexander for the World Title. Alexander wants to lead the promotion into the future while Young wants chaos. And the title.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Josh Alexander vs. Eric Young

Young, with the rest of Violent By Design, is challenging. Feeling out process to start with Alexander driving him into the corner to little avail. A slap off goes to Alexander but seems to wake Young up a bit. Young clotheslines him down but gets kicked away to give us another standoff. Alexander grabs a quick Regal Roll, only to miss a moonsault. Young misses one of his own and it’s another standoff, because they like those things a lot.

This time it’s Alexander taking him into the corner for the Samoa Joe facewash but Young grabs a quick Death Valley Driver. Deaner loads up a table at ringside as Alexander fights back, only to get knocked off the top. Young’s top rope elbow gets two and it’s time to rip up the ring mat. The delay lets Alexander hit a powerbomb into some kind of a Boston crab (again with the Samoa Joe).

The C4 Spike is broken up and Young hits a Stroke for two of his own. A Black Hole Slam gives Young another two as the fans are rather pleased. Alexander drops him and hits a Christopher Daniels Best Moonsault Ever, followed by a Styles Clash into the ankle lock. Young is in trouble so Deaner throws powder into the referee’s eyes, meaning Young’s tap doesn’t count.

Doering gets up on the apron so Alexander hits an Angle Slam to drive him through the table. Deaner whips out the flag but Alexander has Coach D’Amore’s Canadian flag hockey stick. The distraction lets Young but a guitar shot for two and it’s time to rip up even more of the ring. A piledriver on the exposed wood gives Young two more and Alexander has had it. The release Rock Bottom onto the wood sets up the C4 Spike onto the same wood to give Alexander the pin at 18:45.

Rating: C+. As gimmicky as this was, and it was REALLY gimmicky, I had a lot more fun doing the tribute to the big moves of Impact’s past than trying to do a bunch of stuff that wouldn’t have been as interesting. Young vs. Alexander is not a big time main event so giving it a bunch of other stuff to hide that fact is a good idea. It was getting fun trying to guess what big move would be next and I had a much better time than I would have had with these two in a straight match.

Overall Rating: B-. There was a hard balance to hold together on this show and they wound up doing a good enough job with the whole thing. Balancing a big celebration of the past while also being a big show focused on the present is harder than it seems and they made it work for the most part. Nothing was too bad, though it also never had that one big match or moment that made it feel special. Seeing AJ Styles appear was a surprise and brought up the most emotions, but that isn’t exactly a good thing as he hasn’t worked here in years. Overall, a good show, but only a necessary watch if you’re a diehard Impact/TNA fan.

Results
Mike Bailey won Ultimate X
Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie b. Influence – As Above So Below to Rayne
Sami Callihan b. Moose – Cactus Special
Good Brothers b. Briscoes – Magic Killer to Jay
Frankie Kazarian/Motor City Machine Guns/Davey Richards/Nick Aldis b. Honor No More – Cradle Shock to PCO
Jordynne Grace won Queen of the Mountain
Josh Alexander b. Eric Young – C4 Spike onto the exposed boards

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 12, 2022: Consider It Thrown Down

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 12, 2022
Location: Promowest Pavilion, Newport, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We’re done with Under Siege and that means we need a new #1 contender. Josh Alexander successfully defended the World Title against Tomohiro Ishii so now it’s time for something new. That means the return of the Gauntlet For The Gold, a huge gauntlet match, to crown a new #1 contender. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Tom Hannifan and Matthew Rehwoldt are in the ring to hype up the Gauntlet For The Gold.

Video on Gauntlet For The Gold.

Ultimate X Qualifying Match: Chris Bey vs. Kenny King

The winner is in the Ultimate X X-Division Title match at Slammiversary and Maria Kanellis-Bennett is on commentary. King takes him down with a headlock to start but gets armdragged into an armbar. A dropkick puts King on the floor, where he gets knocked down again for a bonus. Back in and King hits some running knees in the corner for two, followed by a snap powerslam for the same.

The neck crank goes on for a bit before King misses a springboard spinning legdrop. Bey’s torture rack neckbreaker gets two but King grabs the Chin Checker into the tiger driver for two. That has Maria VERY fired up and in full cheerleader mode but Bey cuts her off with a slingshot DDT for two of his own. Standing Sliced Bread plants King and Bey goes up, only to have Maria offer a distraction. The Royal Flush sends King to Slammiversary at 8:35.

Rating: C+. Good choice for an opener here as there was almost no way that this wasn’t going to work. King is someone with enough of a resume around here that he is going to tie into the history and feel like a viable challenger so the win is a good idea. Bey losing is a bit weird, but maybe he can get back in there some other way.

Gisele Shaw and Alisha Edwards don’t seem to get along before their Knockouts Tag Team Title shot. Yes, another thrown together team.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Influence vs. Alisha Edwards/Gisele Shaw

Edwards and Shaw are challenging and it’s Edwards rolling Rayne up for some near falls to start. Everything breaks down early and stereo Thesz presses have the champs in trouble as we take a break. Back with Edwards beating on Dashwood until a Rayne distraction cuts her off.

Dashwood grabs a neckbreaker for two and the champs take turns choking in the corner. Rayne’s neckbreaker gets two of her own but Edwards gets over for the hot tag to Edwards without much trouble. House is cleaned, including a spear for two on Shaw. Edwards tags herself back in though and it’s the double Stroke to retain the titles at 11:07.

Rating: C-. With the IInspiration gone, I continue to not exactly see the need for these titles to exist. Until some more teams are built up, they are glorified vanity trophies for the Influence and no one else. As usual, there just isn’t that much depth to support them and it shows more and more every time they get to face another thrown together tag team.

Violent By Design promises to get the Tag Team Titles back next week. For tonight though, Eric Young is winning the Gauntlet For The Gold.

Here is Gail Kim for a chat. She is excited about the 20th anniversary Slammiversary, which means we need something historic. This time around that is going to mean the first ever Queen Of The Mountain match. The five names participating are Tasha Steelz, Chelsea Green, Jordynne Grace, Deonna Purrazzo and….here are Steelz and Savannah Evans to interrupt.

Steelz can’t believe how much Kim is doing to take the title from her but she knows that Evans is going to be the fifth entrant. Actually no, because the fifth entrant is…..MIA YIM! That sends Steelz over the edge but the lights go out and Yim, with minions, is here for the save. Purrazzo comes in to help beat Yim down but Taya Valkyrie and Grace make the real save.

Rich Swann is ready for Gauntlet For The Gold but he also doesn’t think much of Digital Media Champion Matt Cardona.

Bullet Club vs. Tomohiro Ishii/Josh Alexander

Jay White/El Phantasmo for the Club. White and Alexander start things off but we’ll go with Phantasmo before anything can happen. Phantasmo actually takes him to the mat, which isn’t ok with Alexander. That means Phantasmo gets sent into the corner for the tag to White, who gets to face Ishii. White gets run over with a shoulder but it’s too early for the brainbuster. Instead White runs him over and gets to pose a bit, as he likes to do.

The choking on the ropes ensues and it’s back to Phantasmo, only to have Ishii get fired up. Some double teaming slows Ishii down though and it’s White chopping him in the corner. Ishii finally gets in a shot of his own though and the hot tag brings in Alexander to run over Phantasmo. Everything breaks down and the C4 Spike hits White, with Phtantasmo making the save. It’s back to Ishii, who German suplexes Phantasmo and Alexander decks White. The sliding lariat sets up the brainbuster to finish Phantasmo at 10:32.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here, as the Bullet Club takes a hit. That being said, losing to the World Champion and a star like Ishii is hardly a devastating loss. White vs. Alexander has to be at least a candidate for the Bound For Glory World Title shot assuming it is still a possibility and keeping the two of them mostly apart here was a good idea. Alexander’s roll continues though, and I’m not sure who is supposed to stop him.

The Briscoes, the new Impact Tag Team Champions, are ready for Violent By Design again next week.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Gauntlet For The Gold

Royal Rumble style, twenty entrants, two minute interval to start then ninety seconds each (weird), regular match when it gets down to two. Chris Sabin is in at #1 and Alex Shelley is in at #2 by the power of coincidence. A battle over wrist control doesn’t get either of them anywhere as commentary talks about the history of Gauntlet For The Gold. Neither can get the better of anything and it’s Eddie Edwards in at #3.

The Guns wisely start in together on Edwards but he clothesliens both of them down in a bit of a surprise. Vincent, also of Honor No More, is in at #4 to give us a mini tag match. Oddly the Guns get the better of things when their odds are worse and it’s Steve Maclin in at #5. The Guns are dropped again and it’s Maclin working with Honor No More (though he doesn’t seem happy to do so) until Shark Boy makes his return at #6.

The Chummer hits Maclin and the Guns are back up to help clean house. A double Chummer hits Honor No More and we take a break. Back with Shark Boy gone, Raj Singh having come in at #7, Trey Miguel having come in at #8 and Bhupinder Gujjar coming in at #9. Gujjar beats up and elimiantes Singh, because that is the only reason these two exist around here.

Shera is in at #10 and slugs it out with Gujjar with Shera getting the better of things. W. Morrissey is in at #11 and gets to clean house, including eliminating Shera and Vincent. Eric Young is in at #12 and hits Morrissey with a hockey mask, setting up the piledriver. Young blocks Gujjar’s skinning the cat attempt and tosses him out and Maclin hits Miguel with an Irish Curse.

Johnny Swinger, in a mini Wrestlemania III ring cart (as powered by Zicky Dice in a hilarious bit) wacks to the ring like a Bushwhacker, is in at #13, gets tossed, and wacks his way out as we take another break. Back again with Black Taurus having come in at #14, Heath having come in at #15 and having to be saved by Rhino at #16. The Gore hits Edwards and he gets tossed out as we see Shelley being eliminated during the break.

Moose is in at #17 and tosses Taurus and Rhino in short order. Heath slugs away at Moose and gets tossed as well but it’s Rich Swann in at #18 to get the numbers back up a bit. Swann hits Moose with a Lethal Injection but Young slows him down with a low blow. Matt Cardona’s….music plays, as Matthew Rehwoldt is in at #19 to toss Swann from behind. PCO is in at #20 and gets to clean some house, including eliminating Rehwoldt.

Morrissey and PCO get the big slugout (with Morrissey TOWERING over him) until Maclin tosses both of them in an impressive feat. That gives us a final four of Moose, Young, Maclin and Sabin, with Moose being the only one standing. Then the lights go back and it’s Sami Callihan (who returned at Under Siege) to get rid of Moose. Rage seems to be implied as we’re down to three.

Maclin and Young start stomping on Sabin in the corner but he’s back up with a double clothesline. Sabin manages to send Maclin to the apron though and some dropkicks put him down,meaning it’s Sabin vs. Young in a regular match for the title shot. Young knocks him down and hits the top rope elbow for two, plus a clothesline for the same. Sabin is back with a tornado DDT for the same but the Cradle Shock is countered into a piledriver to give Young the pin and the title shot at 36:34.

Rating: C+. The best thing that you can say about a match like this is that it didn’t drag and they managed to make it work here. They even had some comic relief with Swinger and Shark Boy in there to make things a bit more fun. As for Young winning….I guess it works, though it doesn’t exactly feel like something that should be headlining what is often their best show of the year. Maybe it winds up working, but it isn’t exactly exciting.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was built around one match and that match wound up doing rather well. That is a rare change of pace for Impact, as they rarely come out hot after a bigger show. Hopefully they can keep that up, as Slammiversary could be quite the success if they put everything together well. They have a main event set, and while it could be good, they might have their work cut out for them to make the card feel that important. It can be done, but it won’t be the easiest trick.

Results
Kenny King b. Chris Bey – Royal Flush
Influence b. Gisele Shaw/Alisha Edwards – Double faceplant to Edwards
Tomohiri Ishii/Josh Alexander b. Bullet Club – Brainbuster to El Phantasmo
Eric Young won Gauntlet For The Gold last eliminating Chris Sabin

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – July 8, 2015: That Woman Again

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Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a recap of the World Title change last week. That really was the only way to go.

Matt Hardy vs. Dirty Heels

Drew Galloway vs. Khoya/Abyss/Manik

Mr. Anderson vs. Bram

Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz

Lashley wants a title shot but gets Tyrus instead.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???

Carter sits down in the corner and gets water. “To the body? To the body!”

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???

Lashley vs. Tyrus

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle

Results

Dirty Heels b. Matt Hardy – Aries pinned Hardy with Roode holding his leg

Drew Galloway b. Khoya/Abyss/Manik – Big boot to Manik

Mr. Anderson b. Bram via DQ when Bram used a chair

Jesse Godderz b. Robbie E. – Adonis Lock

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – 1%er

Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – 1%er

Lashley b. Tyrus – Spear

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – Stunner

Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter punched the referee




Wrestler of the Day – October 5: Shark Boy

Next up a cult favorite: Shark Boy.

Shark Boy vs. Norman Smiley

Rating: C-. Not a bad little match here with Shark Boy getting in some offense and showing off a bit, but still being a total gimmick instead of anything polished. Then again this is far bigger than wrestling in OVW or HWA for him so getting to show off a bit is the best thing that could happen to his career.

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

Off to the WWA for the Revolution PPV.

Nova vs. AJ Styles vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Shark Boy would wrestle in a dark match before Smackdown on March 11, 2003.

Kanyon vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy wrestled on the first episode of Impact on June 4, 2004.

Shark Boy vs. Abyss

Sharky goes after Abyss and bites his way out of a chokeslam. A high cross body is caught in an easy slam before the Black Hole Slam ends this quick. Total squash for Abyss.

On to some happier times at No Surrender 2005.

Shark Boy vs. Mikey Batts vs. Elix Skipper vs. Sonjay Dutt

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine but the botches hurt it. It never really got going and came off as just more X Division stuff. Dutt would get crushed by Joe in the first round of the tournament which he would go on to win at the next PPV. This was fine but the division was about to be revolutionized by Joe, AJ and Daniels so this is kind of the last of the old days of it.

Senshi vs. Shark Boy vs. Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams vs. Jay Lethal

Jay works on the back and things speed up a bit. Petey hits a knee to the ribs and dropkicks the knee out. Off to Senshi who chops away, only to get chopped right back. A dropkick gets one for Lethal. Senshi comes back with the kicks before tagging in Shelley to a good reaction. He hooks a necktie choke and bends Lethal over the his knees. Lethal backflips out of it but Shelley backflips out of that and hits a kind of Backstabber to put Jay back down.

Lethal comes in with a springboard dropkick to Alex but Shelley comes back very quickly. A brainbuster looks to set up a swanton bomb but Jay avoids it and eliminates Shelley with a dragon suplex. Everyone comes in now and Senshi is sent to the floor. Petey hits a slingshot rana to the outside so Lethal dives onto the Canadian. Dutt hits a huge moonsault press onto all three to put all four down.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Then Shark Boy teamed up with Curry Man to fight Team 3D. Fish were involved. From Destination X 2008.

Fish Market Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Shark Boy/Curry Man

West and Curry Man dance before this starts. This was when Shark Boy was a parody of Stone Cold, drinking clam juice, talking about how that’s the fishing line, giving him a shell yeah and having Austinesque theme music. It was awful in case you couldn’t get that. Bubba yells a lot and D-Von weighs in at….some undisclosed weight under 275lbs. Bubba allegedly makes it too, thereby ending this idiotic angle.

And now Devine, the X-Division traitor, hands them candy and they eat but get jumped. This is a glorified hardcore match but with “comedy” added to it. The Dudleys get run off early on and try to leave. I don’t like where this is going. There are big crated of frozen fish around the aisle. See what I’m dealing with here? Yes, they’re beating each other with frozen fish. Mike gets the HOLY MACKERAL line in.

Curry Man puts a Ding Dong on a fishing pole and goes Ray hunting. Oh of course it works. This is making my soul ache. Honestly, who thought this was a marketable idea? Who thought someone would want to see this? Ray throws fish into the crowd and the announcers say this was expected. Uh, why? Ray bites a fish as I would be so embarrassed if someone knew I was watching this.

We get some actual wrestling just so we can be told there was wrestling in this. What’s Up on Curry Man with a fish. It’s returned by Shark Boy and this is awful. Oh but hey, according to Meltzer, the triple threat at Survivor Series was worse. Yeah keep telling yourself that buddy. Stereo X-Factors and Tornado DDTs on the heels get two. Shark Boy kicks out of a Doomsday Device. Bubba gets blinded by powder and accidently hits 3D on D-Von to end it. The Dudleys get into it with some guy from Survivor that no one cares about.

Rating: F-. I’m not even going to bother explaining why a match involving beating on each other with fish is a failure.

This partnership was part of the Prince Justice Brotherhood, a strange stable of Curry Man, Shark Boy and Super Eric who fought for the forces of good. Here they are at No Surrender 2008.

Rock N Rave Infection/Christy Hemme vs. Prince Justice Brotherhood

The Brotherhood is Super Eric (Young in a bad superhero gimmick), Stone Cold Shark Boy and Curry Man in one of the dumbest gimmicks even by TNA standards. The Infection is a bad rock band gimmick that played Guitar Hero controllers and had the smoking hot Christy Hemme as their manager. Eric vs. Rave to start with Eric taking over.

Eric gets a plancha to the floor which gets two back in the ring. Lance Rock comes in which gets his team nowhere so it’s off to Shark Boy. Thesz Press takes down Rock again as the good guys are dominating. Shark Boy is the same Steve Austin parody that was on Impact the other night. Over to Curry Man who gets a pop for no apparent reason other than a potential lack of oxygen in the arena.

Curry Man tags in Christy and we’re in a comedy match officially. He shoves her off and then realizes where his head was so he offers to go back into it again. Funny spot. Off to Shark Boy and Rave. Back drop sends Shark Boy (I refused to refer to him as Sharky like West and Tenay keep doing) to the floor as momentum changes.

Jawbreaker almost gets Shark Boy a tag but Rock N Rave get something close to a 3D but into a knee instead of a cutter. Christy comes in and is dropped onto Shark Boy by Rock. Cold tag to Curry Man (I thought he was hot and spicy?) who gets a flying hip to Rock. He and Hemme dance a bit and she gets kissed. Rollup gets two but Rock drills Curry so that Christy can hit the Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (don’t ask) for two. Chummer (Stunner) to Christy and a double Death Valley Driver to the guys from Curry Man end this.

Rating: C+. Basic fast paced and fun match to start us off here which is often times the best idea to open a show. Christy was the only good thing about the Infection as she looked great as the groupie. This was just here for comedy and to warm the crowd up and it did that rather well. Good opener.

Shark Boy would leave TNA for a few years but returned to wrestle on Xplosion, December 24, 2010.

Shark Boy vs. Robbie E.

Shark Boy would be in a surprise match at Destination X 2011.

Generation Me vs. Eric Young/Shark Boy

This is a bonus match. I can never remember which Buck is which. Eric and Shark Boy tag about five times before the match starts. Ok so Jeremy is the blonde. Got it. Sharky stomps a mudhole in him early and hammers away in the corner. Theres the Thesz Press and an elbow. Eric comes in and beats on both guys a bit. Off to Sharky who bites Max. Yep its a comedy match.

Jeremy throws on a chinlock as Sharky is still ridiculously over. Clothesline misses and Shark Boy gets a shot to the back of the head to put both guys down. Young pulls his tights down to shift to trunks and gets the hot tag. Gen Me takes over again and a bulldog gets two on Young. Stunner by Shark Boy sets up a wheelbarrow suplex into a reverse neckbreaker by Young for the pin on Max. Think Lethals Lethal Injection but with a wheelbarrow suplex.

Rating: C-. Just a comedy tag match to fill in some time. I still hate what they’re doing with the midcard title as it’s being used as a comedy prop like Santino did to the IC Title a few years ago. Not bad here but it’s really just a filler match and nothing all that great. Shark Boy’s popularity is still strong though.

Hardcore Gauntlet Battle Royal

And again at Turning Point 2013.

Ethan Carter III vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy had announced he was coming back tonight on Impact365 earlier this week. Carter bails to the floor for a chase but still avoids an elbow as they get back inside. The Chummer is countered with ease and the One Percenter is good for the pin at 2:06.

One more surprise at Impact, October 1, 2014.

Manik vs. Shark Boy

Seriously. Shark Boy hammers away to start and sends Manik out to the floor with a shot to the face. Some clotheslines do the same and a backdrop sends Manik flying. Back in and Manik grabs some suplexes for two and a knee drop gets the same. A Frog Splash is enough to pin Shark Boy at 3:10.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – September 18: Jamie Noble

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This would open about 19 Thunders in a row. Tank Abbott is their Rikishi and dances with them. Ok to be fair, this was freaking hilarious. The only Dragon that is known is the masked one who would become Jamie Knoble. Three Count has one guy that meant nothing, Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. This is a double ladder match where the Dragons are trying to get a recording contract so 3 Count can’t record again and 3 Count is trying to get their gold record back.

You have to tag here and it’s a ladder match. They stack up a ladder in the corner and do a ton of stuff with that. Both teams hit a springboard Doomsday Device as this is a fun match but you can tell nothing is ever going to go anywhere. Noble does a HUGE dive off the ladder to the floor. Oh and Yang cut his hair and became the resident redneck on Smackdown. This isn’t bad but it’s certainly is entertaining.

And then 3 Count stops to dance. Jamie hits a nice rana and the other two hit a double splash off the ladders. Jamie gets the record but it’s not over yet. Abbott gets the record and we keep going a bit more. I’d love to hear the explanation to a record company that they lost their contract in a professional wrestling ladder match. Kaz and Helms sprint up the ladders but Abbott shoves both guys over. Karagis climbs up and gets the contract. Soon after Jamie would be unmasked and Karagis would team up to become a third team. Abbott leaves with the contract and record.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here although it made limited sense with the whole double prize thing but that’s WCW for you. These six guys would open just about every show there was without ever getting anywhere at all for it and while the matches were solid, people just got sick of seeing them. I know I did.

And another ladder match at Starrcade 2000.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons vs. Knoble and Karagias

Back up and Shannon heads for the ladder but Karagias breaks it up before Moore can get there. Off to Yang vs. Helms but everyone says screw the tagging stuff and heads out into the aisle for the ladder. 3 Count pulls a fast one though and pulls out their own ladder with everyone else in the aisle. The Dragons make the save though, only for Knoble and Karagias to take them down and go up, but the Dragons slam the ladder down onto him. Yang adds a moonsault onto the ladder and the Dragons for good measure to get the crowd into the match.

Jamie and Evan set up a ladder on the middle rope before sending Shane face first into the steel. Kaz is dropped head first onto the ladder as well before Noble brings in another ladder. Knoble and Karagias get in an argument over who gets the contract, allowing Yang to take both guys down. Yang puts Shannon on the ladder and catches him diving into a gutbuster. Shane throws Yang to the floor and hits a BIG spinning dive to take both guys down. Kaz dives on Shane and Evan dives on everyone, followed by Shannon diving on everyone plus Evan.

Jamie goes up the ladder but Yang gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Jamie down onto the pile of guys at ringside. Yang puts another ladder in the rungs of the standing ladder, making a platform between the ropes and the standing ladder. Evan walks on said platform and catches a springboarding Kaz in a powerslam to the mat. Shannon dives off the platform to take Evan out before Helms hits a neckbreaker to take Knoble off the ladder. Shannon breaks up the platform and puts up another ladder so four people can climb at once.

Noble would head to WWE and have a Cruiserweight Title shot at King of the Ring 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane

This was either Noble’s first match or at least his first feud. Oh ok this is his second. Seriously, the recap is still going. It’s getting more time than the opening video. Oh and the heels unmasked him which Burchill is still trying to do. IT’S STILL GOING! I have absolutely no interest in this match at all. Hurricane was running around chokeslamming people. Nidia thinks she means something. That’s just amusing.

There’s a “she’s a crack w****” chant going as we flash back to ECW. She tries to trip Hurricane and misses. You grab the big white thing. It’s how you got a job more than likely as it certainly isn’t for your looks and talent. Oh Tuesday is the Divas Undressed thing. It was a lingire thing that went nowhere. There were some ok looks but that’s about it. As you can tell, I’m not talking much about the match.

This division and title were just jokes and it’s good that the title isn’t coming back. Let it go people. Oh dear we begin the sex jokes about Hurricane and why Nidia dumped him. I hate those. Oh dang it they’re using sleepers. I can barely stand the thought of this match already and they’re just boring me to death. This division was just a freaking waste. Wait a minute. This is a Smackdown match. WHY ARE LAWLER AND ROSS CALLING IT???

We have acknowledged that Tazz and Cole, the SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCERS are in the building, but instead we get Ross and Lawler who have nothing to do with these guys or their show talking about the match. What in the heck is wrong with this? Hurricane and Nidia fight over his cape. Hurricane suplexes Noble over the ropes and he lands on his leg. Dang it he’s getting up so we have to keep going. The main problem here is Nidia.

She won’t freaking shut up and she’s just annoying. Hurricane hits a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope. This match just needs to end. It’s all highspots and Nidia and only one of those things are interesting. Noble kicks out of the chokeslam which stuns the crowd. For some reason they’re into this. Hurricane crotches himself on the top and Noble powerbombs him for the title while Nidia shoves his foot off the ropes. They make out way too much after the match.

Rating: D-. And it passes for the highspots. This was just freaking pointless and of course they gave it 10 minutes. See, in WCW, this was successful because there WERE NO STORIES. It was all highspots and no stupid ugly women screaming all the time. Learn from that Vince.

Title defense from Vengeance 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all. That’s the case with way too many cruiserweight matches, but at least they’re not using all of the stories to bog things down.

Jamie would hook up with rival Tajiri for a tag match on Smackdown, September 26, 2002.

Jamie Noble/Tajiai vs. Billy/Chuck

Can we just watch Torrie slap the mat in that bikini again? Tajiri gets in some shots as we hear about the exclusive contracts between the brands, including Orton being signed to Raw. He was a young cocky heel at this point. I wonder what ever happened to him. Billy manages to get in a kick to Noble and a flapjack allows for the hot tag. Chuck cleans house and tries a powerbomb but Tajiri counters into a victory roll attempt. Chuck holds him in place though and Code Red (Doomsday Device) ends this.

Off to Velocity for the required opponent on January 12, 2003.

Bryan Danielson vs. Jamie Noble

Noble takes him to the mat into a headscissors but Bryan counters into a double arm crank to put Jamie down for two. They trade wristlocks until Danielson takes him down with a headlock. Off to a test of strength with Jamie getting two off a northern lights suplex. A drop toehold puts Danielson throat first into the ropes and a Saito Suplex gets two.

Rating: C+. This was way better than I was expecting with both guys looking solid out there. Danielson was clearly going to be something special in the future as he was a natural in the ring and moved from one spot to another with ease. It was a surprisingly good match with both guys nailing it.

Jamie decided he wanted Torrie and had a chance to sleep with her if he could beat Billy Gunn at Vengeance 2003.

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase with his “stuff” in it. They actually open it which is creepy. Jamie’s girlfriend Nidia comes out and is mad at him over this clearly. See the criticisms of soap opera stuff that WWE gets? Noble works on his knee so his regular stuff can’t work. Gunn busts out a random Diamond Cutter for two. Didn’t see that one coming. Noble hooks a DDT from the second rope. I liked that.

Nidia puts his foot on the ropes though since she doesn’t want Torrie sleeping with Noble. That makes sense at least. Both girls beat him up. Billy gets rammed into Torrie and gets rolled up for the pin. Torrie says Holy censored and it’s rather amusing. Cole shouting NOBLE GETS TO SLEEP WITH TORRIE cracked me up. He wants to watch. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Bad match on top of a bad angle doesn’t help. Naturally it didn’t happen and Noble and Gunn started teaming together because it’s professional wrestling and of course it doesn’t make sense. Torrie looked hot though so I can’t complain much there. Still though, stupid angle and a stupid match.

Noble got a Cruiserweight Title shot at Royal Rumble 2004.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back to Velocity on March 11, 2006.

Pitbulls vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Pit Bulls

FINALLY Noble gets in a shot to take over and gets a pair of two counts. Back to Kash who slams Kendrick into the mat by his hair. Kendrick dodges a charge and brings in London. Things speed way up and we talk about Ivan Putski. They go to the apron and London tries to skin the cat, but Noble gets in a shot to the back. I guess this is the official face in peril part.

Rating: B-. This match right here has already had more energy in it than the entirety of the previous two shows in this series. Londrick would spend the next 9 months or so as champions which is still the longest tag title reign in the WWE/F in about fifteen years. Very fun tag match with all kinds of old school heel tag work to make things very fun and get the crowd into it.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

Off to Smackdown on October 19, 2007.

Jamie Noble vs. Undertaker

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Jamie Noble vs. Boogeyman

Noble runs from the bag of worms to start. Boogeyman throws him into the corner but Jamie hammers away with some right hands. A beal sends Jamie out to the floor and a gorilla press sends him back into the ring. Jamie stomps away back inside and a top rope forearm gets two. We hit the chinlock on Boogey but he throws Jamie into the corner to escape. Back up and the pumphandle slam is enough to pin Noble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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