Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 1995
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 4,181
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We’re still on the way to Summerslam and unfortunately it seems that means King Mabel is coming after Diesel and the WWF Title. There is nothing good that can possibly come from that but it’s what we’re getting due to reasons of it’s 1995. Shawn Michaels continues to feel like the biggest star in the company, but Bret Hart got to remind us of how good he was last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Razor Ramon and Savio Vega getting ready to challenge for the Tag Team Titles.

King Mabel vs. John Barberry

Sir Mo is here too and I feel for the people who have to carry Mabel and the throne to the ring. Mabel runs him over to start as you would expect and the beating is on to start. They actually go outside with Barberry getting crushes again. Back in and Barberry avoids a legdrop and hits a dropkick but gets splashed in the corner. The belly to belly suplex finishes for Mabel at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Hey did you know that Mabel is really big? I’m not sure if they made that clear enough, because it’s all that Mabel had at this point. Literally, what else is there that is supposed to get my attention about him? This was another dull squash as we continue the horrible march towards Summerslam.

Post match Mabel wants to be the WWF Champion.

Fatu is still trying to make a difference.

We look back at Jerry Lawler and Shawn Michaels arguing last week.

Lawler and Michaels have a face to face meeting in the back, with Lawler saying fans want to see Sid beat Michaels up at Summerslam. Michaels thinks that sounds like a challenge and some poking ensues, seemingly setting up a match.

Goldust is still coming.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Bob Cook

Bigelow knocks Cook to the floor to start and sends him flying for a bonus. Cook actually gets in a shot, only to be suplexed down for his efforts. The chinlock goes on as we hear something about America Online. Bigelow slams him down and drops the top rope headbutt for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here, though it really is amazing to see how Bigelow had this kind of a career resurgence in 1995. He headlined Wrestlemania and King Of The Ring but then just fell away shortly thereafter. Nothing to see here as usual, save for the always good looking headbutt.

We go to the Report Card, where Dean Douglas agrees that Bam Bam Bigelow is indeed a beast, who looks like a walrus. He gets an F based on looks alone.

Jim Cornette talks about cars to suggest that Owen Hart and Yokozuna will retain the Tag Team Titles.

Skip vs. Major Yates

Sunny is here with Skip and insults the crowd before the match. Skip takes him into the corner to start and fires off some forearms. Yates comes back with a wristlock but gets hit in the face for his efforts. A sunset flip gives Yates two so Skip gives him a running clothesline. Skip hits a top rope superplex for the pin (and some pushups) at 2:20.

We go to the Summerslam Insider, focusing on Mabel vs. Diesel, with the latter saying he gets respect. He’ll earn respect from Mabel at Summerslam. Other than that, Jerry Lawler and Isaac Yankem look at a patient’s teeth (or a camera) and find what they see as disgusting as Bret Hart. Finally, Shawn Michaels is ready for Sid. Uh, yeah.

Next week, Diesel vs. Sir Mo. Sweet goodness somebody get my medicine.

Merchandise shill.

Tag Team Titles: Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Savio Vega/Razor Ramon

Hart and Yokozuna, with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, are defending. Vega and Hart start things off with Vega taking him into the corner to chop away. They trade wrist cranks and chops before it’s off to Ramon for an arm twist of his own. Hart gets knocked to the floor and holds his jaw as we take a break.

We come back with Hart getting beaten up some more but getting knocked over to the corner for the tag to Yokozuna. Ramon gets shoved down off to Vega, who manages to knock Yokozuna outside. Vega is smart enough to avoid being taken into the corner before it’s off to Hart for a spinwheel kick. Yokozuna drops the big leg and Vega is in trouble in a hurry. The nerve hold goes on and we take a break.

We come back with Vega making the tag and Ramon comes in with a middle rope bulldog. Everything breaks down and a double clothesline drops Yokozuna. The Razor’s Edge hits Hart for the pin and the titles at 15:49. And never mind as Hart wasn’t legal so the match has to restart. The match restarts but Cornette is ejected for arguing too much.

Ramon hammers at Yokozuna and throws Hart onto him for a bonus. Vega comes in for a rollup on Hart and we take a third break. We come back again with Yokozuna missing a big elbow and Ramon crotching Hart on top. Hart reverses the belly to back superplex into a crossbody for two and they’re both down. Ramon gets back up…and we’re out of time at 21:49 with the match still going. Well that’s certainly an ending. More on this next week I’d assume.

Rating: C+. Well it certainly wasn’t short. I’m not sure I’d call it good, but just seeing a match get this much time was nice to see. Ramon and Vega were a fine enough team and maybe even a better fit than Ramon and the 1-2-3 Kid, at least in the ring. Other than that, you had your usual sluggish Yokozuna match, but thankfully the other three were doing most of the work.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was the big focal point here, but the problem is that we’re closing in on Summerslam, meaning King Mabel is going to be around that much more. For the life of me I do not get what Vince McMahon saw in him other than he’s a big guy, but that’s what we’re getting at the moment. Just move on from it already and find anyone else, because it almost can’t be worse.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 24, 1995
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 4,181
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We’re done with In Your House II and Diesel is still the WWF Champion, having beaten Sid in a not so great lumberjack match. Shawn Michaels won the Intercontinental Title from Jeff Jarrett in a far better match. Other than that though, we are on the way to Summerslam and that might not go so well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Shawn Michaels winning the Intercontinental Title.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels vs. Jimmy Del Ray

Non-title and Jim Cornette is here with Del Ray. Michaels starts fast by taking him down for an armbar but Del Ray is right back up. A springboard out of the corner doesn’t work for Del Ray as Michaels knocks him to the floor. Back in and Del Ray hits a quick DDT and takes over, including a boot rake to the eyes. Some hip gyrating sets up a (gyrating) neckbreaker for two on Michaels and we hit the chinlock. Del Ray misses a top rope splash and Michaels hits a running forearm. A superkick drops Tom Pritchard (who was apparently here too) and another finishes Del Ray at 5:19.

Rating: C+. Well, this was at least better than Michaels’ match against IRS last week, mainly just because it was shorter. Michaels is on a roll at this point and he shouldn’t be needing that much time to take out someone like Del Ray. Not a good match here, but less bad, and for this time period, I’ll take that.

Post match Michaels teases stripping, as he tends to do.

We look at Jeff Jarrett’s live singing debut, but there are accusations that it was NOT REALLY HIM. And yes, you’re supposed to be interested by this.

We look at Shawn Michaels beating Jarrett again.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Hakushi, who had some great matches.

Smoking Gunns vs. John Faulkner/Rick Stockhauser

The jobbers have matching tights so they might be a regular team. Faulkner’s headlock doesn’t last long on Billy but it’s off to Stockhauser for an elbow. Billy fights out of trouble with ease and Bart comes in for the left hands. The Sidewinder finishes in a hurry at 2:01.

Merchandise shill….for Jeff Jarrett gear.

Goldust is coming.

Fatu wants to make a difference in his hometown of San Francisco.

Waylon Mercy vs. Gary Scott

Mercy hammers him down at the bell to start and chokes away. A hard whip into the corner has Scott in more trouble and the sleeper finishes for Mercy at 2:02.

We go to the Summerslam Control Center, which turns into a recap of In Your House. Ah the days of pay per view replays. King Mabel is ready to come for Diesel next, because we have to see some horrible things from time to time.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

Hakushi has Shinja with him. We get a little weird before the match as Hakushi pulls out a Hart mannequin head. Uh, right. Hart goes after Shinja to start so Hakushi jumps him from behind. Back in and Hakushi’s Vader Bomb hits knees, allowing Hart to hammer away. The backbreaker connects and Hart slugs at the ribs. A whip into the corner is reversed and Hart goes back first into the post as we take a break.

We come back with Hakushi hitting a nasty kick to the face, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A top rope headbutt to the back gets two and we’re off to the nerve hold. That’s broken up and Hakushi rolls him to the floor and we take another break. Back with Hakushi connecting with a Asai moonsault but Hart is right back up. They get back in for a backbreaker into a middle rope elbow, followed by the bulldog for two on Hakushi. Hart gets knocked down again but he avoids a top rope headbutt. The superplex into the Sharpshooter makes Hakushi give up at 16:24.

Rating: B. Match of the month on the show so far, which really shouldn’t be a surprise. They’ve been in the ring before and worked well together so it makes sense to give them a rematch. Hart can work well with anyone and Hakushi was ready to hang in there with him. Yes I’m as shocked as you are that Hart stole the show, as he was doing it time after time in this era.

Post match Hart beats up Shinja for a bonus. Cue Jean-Pierre Lafitte to steal the bag from before the match.

Dean Douglas has the Report Card, where he talks about the importance of knowledge. This was bad, but what else were you expecting?

Jerry Lawler yells at Shawn Michaels and doesn’t see much in his future. Michaels isn’t impressed to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event helped carry things here, but you could only expect so much when the focus was on Hart and Michaels. There are only so many talented stars on the roster at this point and this focused on two of the really good ones. They rest of the show was the usual collection of squashes, but Hart vs. Hakushi is worth a look.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 17, 1995
Location: Danville High School, Danville, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 2,700
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

It’s the last Raw before In Your House and the big story is still Sid, who may or may not be scared of Diesel. Other than that, there is a lot of focus on Jeff Jarrett around here, which can’t be the best idea. We might get something else added to the show this week, though the card seems pretty full. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

IRS says Shawn Michaels is going to learn what it’s like to pay the tax man.

Shawn Michaels doesn’t seem worried.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Yokozuna/Owen Hart vs. Gus Kantarrakis/Jim Dimitre

Yokozuna and Hart, with Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette, are actually defending here for some reason. Hart works on a wristlock to start and then flips out of Gus’ version. A clothesline and dropkick put Gus down and it’s off to Yokozuna for a wishbone. Hart trips Gus for the big leg from Yokozuna and the Sharpshooter finishes Jim at 2:57.

The In Your House Control Center runs down the card and focuses on the lumberjack match. The rest of the show gets some attention as well.

Jean-Pierre Lafitte vs. David Thornberg

Lafitte knocks him against the ropes to start and splashes him in the back. They head outside to keep up the beating, followed by a Cannonball for the pin at 2:31.

Fatu is back where he grew up and now he wants to make a difference. Sweet goodness what a lame gimmick. It’s a perfectly nice idea, but they couldn’t have been more ham handed with it if they tried.

For the third straight week, here is the With My Baby Tonight video.

Shawn Michaels vs. IRS

Ted DiBiase is here with IRS. Michaels, in the always awesome looking black trimmed with red, takes IRS down to start and works on the arm to send him outside. Back in and IRS bails to the floor again, with Michaels grabbing the tie. A headlock takeover lets Michaels grind away a bit, and it works so well that he does it a second time. IRS finally manages to send him over the top for a crash out to the floor and the pace slows down a bit. Sidenote: I know it happens a lot, but IRS is so drenched in sweat that I thought he was in a light blue shirt. My goodness man that’s insane.

Michaels’ comeback doesn’t last long as he misses an elbow, allowing IRS to grab a chinlock. We take a break and come back with the chinlock continuing, as it tends to do. Michaels fights up and slugs away but gets dropped with a clothesline. Back up and the superkick finishes for Michaels out of nowhere at 12:14.

Rating: C. It’s not a good sign when the part of the match that stands out the most is IRS’s sweating. As usual, IRS isn’t interesting in the slightest but he’s perfectly fine from a technical standpoint. That was the situation again here, with Michaels just shrugging off whatever was thrown at him and kicking IRS in the face for the pin.

Merchandise shill.

Isaac Yankem DDS, again with Jerry Lawler in his office, pulls out a child’s tooth, which is censored due to the pain involved.

Kama Mustafa vs. Billy Mack

I wonder if he’s related to Willie Mack. Mustafa, with Ted DiBiase, hammers away to start but spends too much time yelling at the crowd, allowing Mack to hit a missile dropkick. That’s it for the comeback, as Mustafa hits him in the face for the win at 2:02.

Vince McMahon brings in Diesel to introduce his lumberjacks. First though, Diesel insults Sid and suggests he’s a CHICKEN. He insists he’ll keep the title and brings out the midcarders extraordinaire as his lumberjacks. Some of them say what they have planned for Sid if he goes outside, including Shawn Michaels promising a little chin music (for some reason, I’ve remembered the way he said that line for thirty years). Sid comes out for the staredown but walks away. The lumberjacks and Diesel celebrate (for some reason) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. What was the big draw here? Michaels had a perfectly watchable yet uninteresting match and then….here are the midcarders who will be watching the main event of the pay per view? That’s about it, and I’m going to need more than that to make the show worth a watch.

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Battle Royal Collection
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Joey Styles, Bill Mercer, Tony Schiavone

Well, as usual the Vault saves me from having to come up with a catchy name for these things. It’s one of those deals where the idea is right there and we have a bunch of these to go through. This should be interesting as battle royals can go in all kinds of directions, often out of nowhere. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, January 13, 2006.

World Heavyweight Championship: Battle Royal

Bobby Lashley, JBL, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Sylvan, Nunzio, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Matt Hardy, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Mark Henry, Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle, Orlando Jordan, Vito, Animal, William Regal, Psicosis, Paul Burchill

For the vacant title after Batista got injured. Angle is a surprise so JBL goes after him and is quickly suplexed. Angle tosses JBL and Vito so a bunch of people jump Angle at once. An early elimination attempt is blocked as Angle slips back under the ropes, allowing him to go after Mysterio. That’s broken up and Mysterio can’t get rid of Jordan. Animal and Henry have the big slugout with Henry knocking him out.

We take a break and come back with Dean having been eliminated, followed by Nunzio and Jordan being tossed as well. Angle throws out Regal and Burchill but Henry jumps him from behind. Henry knocks Angle outside and follows him (neither are eliminated) as London is tossed. A gorilla press sends Angle through the announcers’ table to leave him laying and Henry gets back inside. Lashley gives Henry a running shoulder but knocks himself down, allowing Henry to kick him out. Kendrick is out as well and we take another break.

We come back with Hardy getting rid of Sylvan, leaving us with Hardy, Henry, Mercury, Mysterio and Nitro, plus Angle on the floor. Henry gets rid of Hardy and Mysterio eliminates Nitro and Mercury. Mysterio realizes he’s alone with Henry but loads up the Eddie Dance to show he’s serious. Some kicks to the leg stagger Henry and the 619 connects. Another one hits the ribs and Mysterio tries to pull him out, only to get sent to the apron.

A springboard is pulled out of the air though and Mysterio is tossed, but Angle gets up. The straps come down and Angle hammers away but Henry runs him over. Back up and an Angle Slam drops Henry, who is right back with a running splash in the corner. Angle manages a headscissors choke but Henry powerbombs the heck out of him for the break. They get up again and Angle hits a German suplex, followed by the front facelock. Angle can’t get him out but another headscissors lets Angle get the elimination and the title at 23:57.

Rating: B-. They weren’t hiding the fact that Angle was the heavy favorite here, but Henry felt like a monster in his own right. There’s nothing wrong with letting you know what’s going to happen from a mile away on occasion and that was the case here. Angle is a good choice for the last minute champion and the fans were into what they were seeing, so I’ll take what we got here.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event X.

Battle Royal

Honky Tonk Man, Sika, Ax, Smash, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Hillbilly Jim, Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Paul Orndorff, Lanny Poffo, Butch Reed, Tama, Billy Jack Haynes, Haku, Blackjack Mulligan, Hercules, Ron Bass

Commentary completely ignores everyone other than Hogan and Andre during the entrances and…well yeah. Hogan and Andre square off but Orndorff and others jump them to start fast. Honky Tonk Man is out in a hurry and Andre gets rid of Sika as well. Andre beats up Jim and Mulligan before tossing out Haku with ease. One heck of a headbutt busts Poffo open and Andre tosses him in a hurry.

Poffo is gushing blood on the floor as he’s taken out on a stretcher as Andre beats on Mulligan (who stands 6’6 and weighs about 350lbs and is dwarfed by Andre). Bass is out and Mulligan follows him. Hogan dumps Volkoff as Ventura is begging to see Hogan vs. Andre. There goes Blair and Hogan is whipped into Andre and HERE WE GO!

Hogan slugs away and Ware of all people jumps Andre. Thanks you bird brain. Hogan dumps Orndorff but Andre grabs Hogan for the headbutts and tosses him with no trouble. We take a break and come back with Hogan still leaving and a bunch of people getting together to toss Andre, who takes the interest in the match with him.

Hercules tosses Tama and Ax is gone. Smash dumps Hillbilly and Ware dropkicks Reed out to get us down to four. We have a bizarre tag match of Smash and Hercules against Ware and Haynes (sounds Lethal Lotteryish). Ware is tossed and a double clotheslines has Haynes in trouble. Haynes manages to dump Smash though and slugs it out with Hercules. Cue Bobby Heenan on the apron for a distraction though and Hercules dumps Hayes for the win at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was a tale of two battle royals, as you have everything before the Hogan vs. Andre showdown/eliminations and then everything after them. That’s where things fall apart, because there was no reason to care in the slightest after the two of them were gone. Andre was feeling like a monster though and the heat for the showdown with Hogan was great, so I’ll let the rest slide.

From Superstars, February 25, 1995.

Battle Royal

Sionne, Fatu, Jacob Blu, Jerry Lawler, King Kong Bundy, Duke Droese, Aldo Montoya, 1-2-3 Kid, Mantaur, Mabel, Jimmy Del Ray, Adam Bomb, Bob Holly, Mo, Shawn Michaels, British Bulldog, Kwang, Henry Godwinn, Eli Blu, Tom Pritchard

Michaels runs away from a mob and eliminates himself to spare quite a bit of pain. We settle way down with everyone brawling and no one really coming close to being eliminated. Lawler has to run away from Mabel and we slow down again. Jacob is knocked over the top to finally get rid of someone else and we take a break. We come back with Godwinn backdropping Droese out, which Lawler finds hilarious. Del Ray is out and Mabel splashes Bundy onto Kwang in the corner. Holly clotheslines Montoya out and Godwinn is gone as well, followed by Fatu.

Bomb and Pritchard are both out and Kid fires off the kicks to Lawler in the corner. Bundy and Mantaur get rid of Mabel, with Bundy saying he did it by himself. A bunch of people toss Bundy and we take another break. We come back with Holly getting tossed and we’re down to six. Kid and Smith get Lawler out to the apron but he hangs on, even landing on one foot to stay alive. Lawler tells the audience to stay quiet because he’s still officially in.

Cue Bret Hart to look at the hopping Lawler, with a rather amusing look on his face. Lawler tries to hop away (Vince: “He looks like a demented kangaroo out there.”) but Hart stomps on his foot and that’s enough for Lawler in a funny bit. Hart beats on him a bit more and we’re down to five.

Kwang misses a spinwheel kick and gets eliminated by Bulldog. That leaves us with Bulldog, Eli, Kid and Mantaur, with Eli tossing Kid. Bulldog gets rid of Mantaur and the powerslam hits “either Jacob or Eli” but here is Michaels to cheap shot Bulldog so Eli can take over. Then Bulldog low bridges Eli out anyway for the win at 13:51.

Rating: D. The only entertaining part here was the Hart segment and this was a really lame battle royal as a result. Bulldog was the only realistic winner near the end and that made for a long stretch until the finish. Nothing to see here and given that it was the doldrums of 1995, that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest.

From ECW Hardcore TV, December 24, 1996.

Battle Royal

This is a King Of The Hill battle royal, meaning pinfall, submission or over the top eliminations. Taz is in the ring (but not an entrant) when the lights go out and Sabu is in at #1. The Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus) are in at #2 and #3 and give Sabu a pair of Total Eliminations. Taz heads outside to yell at Sabu as New Jack and Mustafa (the Gangatas) are in at #4 and #5.

A mini tag match breaks out while Sabu is down and Taz leaves. Another pair of Total Eliminations hit the Gangstas and the Eliminators eliminate them. Sabu gets dropped with a rather rough spike piledriver as Rob Van Dam is in at #6. Van Dam (and his snazzy pants) can’t do much on his own but Sabu is back up for the save as another tag match breaks out. Balls Mahoney (he’s new at this point) is in at #7 and the fans think he’s fat. Spike Dudley is in at #8 as Van Dam hits a nasty looking springboard kick to Mahoney’s face.

Things settle down a bit as it’s more of a standard brawl, which is pretty logical for ECW. Little Guido is in at #9 and is immediately kicked in the face by Saturn. Another Total Elimination gets rid of Spike and Bubba Ray Dudley is in at #10. Bubba shrugs off Guido’s forearms and gorilla presses him out for the big crash. Van Dam and Mahoney are out, leaving us with the Eliminators vs. Sabu/Bubba.

Chris Candido is in at #11 to help Saturn break up Sabu’s camel clutch on Bubba (so much for that partnership). Saturn saves Candido from Sabu and hits a powerbomb but Sabu is back up with a springboard clothesline to the Eliminators. Brian Lee is in at #11 as Candido eliminates Kronus. Bubba is knocked out by Lee and Shane Douglas is in at #12. Douglas stomps away at Saturn and Candido gets two on Sabu.

Tommy Dreamer is in at #13 and Douglas panics, eliminating himself rather than face Dreamer. Saturn and Dreamer drop everyone else, with Saturn superkicking Candido through the ropes. Sabu is back up with a double clothesline to Candido as D-Von Dudley is in at #14. Lee has a chair to clean house until Sabu takes it away and chairs D-Von for two. Sandman is in at #15 and goes after Saturn as the ring is starting to get full. Saturn is kicked out and Sabu moonsaults D-Von for two.

Louie Spicoli is in at #16 and tosses Candido out and a bunch of people go after D-Von for two more. Lee tosses Dreamer and Spicoli as the Blue World Order is in at Stevie Cool, Nova and the Blue Meanie are in at #17, #18 and #19. The Stevie Kick gets rid of D-Von but Lee takes out Meanie and Nova (his teammates in Raven’s Nest). Another Stevie Kick hits Sandman but Lee tosses Richards as well. Lee tosses Sandman, only to get clotheslined out by Sabu for the win at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It’s ECW so your mileage is absolutely going to vary, but what matters the most is that this felt different. ECW didn’t do this kind of match very often and it made things that much more interesting. Sabu going wire to wire is fine as he’s such a fan favorite and the people were happy throughout. Nice little surprise here and that’s a good thing.

From World Class Championship Wrestling TV, January 7, 1983.

Battle Royal

Wild Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, King Kong Bundy, Terry Gordy, Kerry Von Erich, Andre The Giant

Pinfall, submission or over the top. Von Erich charges at Gordy to start before the bell. Andre comes in and we’re ready to go. Michael Hayes offers a distraction on the floor though and Von Erich is out in a hurry. That’s not ok with Von Erich, who goes back in to go after Gordy again. Von Erich is finally dragged out as Andre chokes Gordy for a change. Bundy hammers and chokes Andre, who doesn’t seem to notice.

A middle rope ax handle finally drops Andre, who falls onto Gordy in a funny spot. McGraw is tossed as Andre chokes Gordy on the mat. Bundy and Irwin go after Andre for the save but he gets up and chokes Gordy again (Does Gordy owe him money or something?). A headbutt knocks Bundy down and of course it’s time to choke Gordy again. Andre headbutts Irwin and chokes Gordy AGAIN like he’s in a slasher movie.

Bundy gets punched through the ropes and Andre gets to massage Gordy’s throat some more. Irwin and Bundy try to help Gordy again and it works for all of two seconds before Gordy accidentally drops Bundy. Some triple teaming slows Andre down as the fans are all behind him. They manage to get Andre down to his knees and the mat, but he gets back to his feet again.

Irwin hammers away but Andre fights up and atomic drops Irwin out. Hayes saves Gordy from elimination so Andre eliminates himself to give chase. So we’re down to Bundy vs. Gordy as Andre realizes how much he just screwed up. Bundy slams Gordy for two but misses s the Avalanche. Gordy dropkicks him in the back for the win at 12:57.

Rating: C+. This was ok enough, but at the same time it was mainly only funny for Andre’s near stalker killer movie villain obsession with Gordy. Andre went after him time after time and it was rather entertaining, with even commentary wondering what was with Andre’s obsession. Von Erich being pretty much nothing here was kind of weird, but Andre made up for him leaving so soon.

From Battlebowl 1993.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

Rogers is very banged up after getting beaten up earlier in the night. It’s the usual brawl to start and Rogers is out first, which is quite logical. Pierce is out as well as commentary admits there is too much going on to call here. Austin and Flair go outside (not eliminated) to brawl and Badd is sent to the ramp, which is NOT an elimination (as covered by commentary). Not that it matters as Badd is out a few seconds later.

Back in and Orndorff tries to toss Flair, with Hawk making a save to leave Ventura annoyed/confused. Jack loads up a superplex on Vader (of course) but gets broken up, allowing Vader to toss Jack out. Orndorff is out as well and the fans are not pleased with either of those two. Kong and the Shockmaster are both eliminated and the ring is a lot more clear. Vader gorilla presses Sting to the ramp (again, not out) but Sting comes back in to choke Vader in the corner.

Sags and Vader save Knobbs from Sting, who then saves Flair from Vader for some reason. Flair goes outside (not out) to go after Harley Race as Sting goes after the Nasty Boys at the same time. Back up and Vader runs Sting over before Flair beats up Knobbs, which isn’t something you see very often. Rhodes and Austin brawl to the floor, again without going over the top as we’ve gone a long time without an elimination. Rhodes gets posted and busted open and we slow way down, with commentary pointing it out as well.

Back up and Knobbs, Sags, Rhodes, Rude and Hawk all being eliminated in VERY short order. Well that picked up the pace. We’re down to Austin, Vader, Sting and Flair (not bad) as Rhodes is being led out and looks to have had his bell rung. Sting suplexes Austin and Vader misses a charge at Flair in the corner, leaving Flair to beat up Race on the ramp. Vader goes out for the save as Sting clotheslines Austin in the ring.

Sting and Austin join the other two on the ramp as this is not following proper battle royal procedures. The trainer comes out to check on Flair so Vader kicks him too. Flair is stretchered out and is officially eliminated due to injury. Naturally Race tries to turn the stretcher over, because that’s the kind of thing Race would do. Vader gorilla presses Sting back into the ring but Sting pops up and powerslams a diving Vader out of the air.

House is quickly cleaned with a bunch of clotheslines but the numbers game finally catches him in the corner. Austin gets in a rather impressive middle rope elbow (and has to stop himself from covering) before Vader drops Sting again. Vader hits two splashes but Sting avoids the third and makes the comeback on Austin.

Sting gets dropped again though and the Vader Bomb crushes him. Vader has hurt his own back though and Austin misses a top rope splash. Sting backdrops Austin onto the ramp and he falls onto the floor, which apparently counts as an elimination. So believe it or not, it’s Vader vs. Sting, with Vader hitting another splash. Sting avoids a charge though and fireman’s carries Vader onto the top, only to miss the Stinger Splash and eliminate himself so Vader wins at 25:35.

Rating: B-. This took some time but there is something about watching Sting and Vader no matter what they’re doing. Throw in Austin out there and getting to see Flair taking a beating and I couldn’t complain that much. It’s one of those things that works even with the extra time, though the ending was kind of out of nowhere and didn’t make Vader look that strong.

From Smackdown, November 29, 2011.

Battle Royal

Curt Hawkins, Ted DiBiase, Ezekiel Jackson, JTG, Johnny Curtis, Darren Young, Tyler Reks, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Jinder Mahal, Hunico, Percy Watson, Yoshi Tatsu, Titus O’Neil, Sheamus, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Hornswoggle, Kofi Kingston, Heath Slater

The winner gets a Christmas wish. Hornswoggle goes under the ring to start, leaving Sheamus (the Great White, in something that actually made air) tosses Young. Jimmy Uso is out as well, followed by JTG. Cole rants about how much guest host Mick Foley loves Christmas as Jackson dumps Hawkins. Sheamus pounds Jackson down and ducks a clothesline to get rid of him.

Curtis (Fandango) is gone and there goes Jey Uso and Kingston back to back. Tatsu and DiBiase are out, with Hornswoggle popping out from underneath the ring to pull Kidd out as well. We take a break and come back with the graphics messing up (which I believe was another Chris Jericho return), plus Gabriel being eliminated. O’Neil plants Reks but gets clotheslined out by Sheamus.

Reks jumps Sheamus from behind and gets pummeled but runs outside for a breather. Everyone goes to the floor for the brawl, with Sheamus being sent into the barricade. The non-Sheamuses get back inside but realize that they have to get rid of Hornswoggle as well. Hornswoggle is thrown back inside and can’t escape, with Slater throwing him down. Sheamus comes back in for the save and quickly eliminates everyone not named Hornswoggle.

Sheamus tells him to get out but Hornswoggle says he wants Sheamus out instead. Hornswoggle kicks him in the shin so Sheamus calls him a lunatic. Sheamus easily picks him up but Hornswoggle hangs onto the top rope. In a not so bright move, Sheamus goes over the top to pull Hornswoggle off the ropes. He tells Hornswoggle (who went through the ropes) to get down, but first Hornswoggle wants a hug. Hornswoggle shoves him off the apron for the clever win at 14:01. Hornswoggle would use the wish to be able to talk, which he could do before but was forgotten for the sake of the match.

Rating: C. Yeah I can’t get that mad at some like this. It was a goofy, lighthearted battle royal for the holiday special. Hornswoggle winning is a good way to go as the fans were behind him, especially when he finds an easy way to eliminate Sheamus and win. It wasn’t particularly good, but the result was charming enough.

Post match Sheamus is mad but raises Hornswoggle’s hand in holiday spirit.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good example of why you don’t have multiple battle royals very often. Some of what we got here was fine enough, but seeing them over and over got repetitive. That is only going to get you so far and it was only so interesting. I did like that they offered a nice mixture of stuff from promotions, which is one of the places where the Vault tends to shine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 30, 1996
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,923
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Kelly

Things got stupid last week as Jim Ross brought back the fake Razor Ramon, which makes me wonder how long it’s going to be before we meet the fake Diesel. Thankfully we have something a bit more interesting, with Undertaker and Mankind set for a Buried Alive match next month. That should work well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the return of Razor Ramon.

Opening sequence.

Steve Austin vs. Jake Roberts

Jerry Lawler has a mini bottle of booze for Roberts as this is still going. Roberts drives him into the corner to start and then does it again, where Austin gets in a shot to the face. Austin’s headlock is countered with a shot to the face and he bails out to the floor. Back in and the threat of a DDT sends Austin right back to the floor, leaving Roberts to go after Lawler. Roberts cuts off a cheap shot from Austin, who takes over without much trouble back inside.

Austin slowly hammers away, including some driving shoulders in the corner. Roberts’ comeback is cut off rather quickly and a kick to the face gives Austin two. We take a break and come back with Roberts sending him into various buckles. Austin gets crotched on top but the DDT is blocked.

Austin gets two off a rollup with feet on the ropes, only for the DDT to get the same thanks to one of the same feet being on the ropes. Lawler takes some of the booze and spits it into Roberts’ face, which is enough for the Austin to hit the Stunner (minus the kick to the ribs) for the pin at 12:14.

Rating: C. My goodness how long is this Lawler vs. Roberts feud supposed to go? Roberts isn’t even talking to keep the feud going and Lawler already beat him once. It’s one of those feuds that just keeps going for whatever reason and that’s not a good sign. At least Austin got to win and feels important, even while being momentarily associated with this.

Post match Austin and Lawler beat on Roberts but Savio Vega runs in with a strap for the save.

Mankind is digging a grave as Paul Bearer approves.

Here is a ticked of Hunter Hearst Helmsley to call out Mr. Perfect for a fight. More on this later I guess.

Godwinns vs. Grimm Twins

The Twins are better known as the Harris Brothers and Hunter Hearst Helmsley is on commentary. Jason clotheslines Phineas down to start but Phineas is right back with a clothesline of his own. Jared comes in and gets shouldered by Henry and we go split screen with Mr. Perfect, who accepts the challenge. He’ll even give Helmsley a few weeks to get in shape. Jared is back with a quickly broken chinlock as Henry fights up and hits a clothesline. Phineas comes in and cleans house, including reversing a side slam into a Slop Drop for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: C. Pretty standard ordeal from the tag division at this point, with something else getting the focus while a boring match breaks out. There’s no reason to care about what the Godwinns are doing because they’re such one note characters that the interest doesn’t last long. Other than that, the Grimm Twins could have been find as a monster team, as it isn’t like they needed any kind of a gimmick to make their act work.

Remember how last week it was revealed that Jeff Jarrett didn’t sing over a year ago? It was really the Roadie singing and his name is Jesse Jammes. This is a thing that was seen as worthy of television time.

Razor Ramon vs. Savio Vega

Jim Ross explains that he never said Scott Hall would be here so he wasn’t lying. Gorilla Monsoon is on commentary to get on Ross for the whole thing as Ramon takes over in the corner. Ross and Monsoon get in an argument over whether this is really Razor Ramon when it’s not Scott Hall, with Ross saying he wasn’t going to bring Kevin Nash back either. Monsoon thinks it’s an embarrassment, sending Ross going into a rant about how embarrassing it was when he got fired.

Ramon works on the arm but Vega fights out of the armbar. A clothesline cuts him off as Dok Hendrix joins us, saying he’ll be trying to get an interview with Diesel. Ramon misses an elbow as Ross is still going on about being fired. Hendrix can’t find Diesel and we take a break. We come back with Ramon working on a chinlock as Ross WILL NOT SHUT UP about how great he is at his job. Apparently he is NOT responsible for stupid things like Doink, but here is Diesel to low bridge Vega to the floor for the DQ at 9:27.

Rating: D. So not only did they actually continue this story, but they actually gave it almost ten minutes of television time. That’s where the next big problem comes in, as Bognar is rather terrible in the ring. The real Ramon was talented and had a natural charisma to him that couldn’t be faked and that was obvious here, as the fake version was a disaster. And then fake Diesel, who at least looks a bit like the real thing (from behind at a distance if you squint), comes in for the DQ. Because they need to keep this story going as it’s just getting started you see.

Post match Ramon and Diesel wreck Vega. Ross: “Now the WWE knows how it feels to be embarrassed!” This is earning every single bit of its terrible reputation.

Undertaker promises to dig Mankind’s grave and bury him alive.

Faarooq and Sunny have split. Can he split from the gladiator gear too?

Jim Cornette/Vader vs. Jose Lothario/Shawn Michaels

Michaels and Vader start things off as Ross is still complaining about things with Diesel. Michaels slugs away but gets dropped with a single shot to the face. The running splash in the corner crushes Michaels as Lawler wants to beat on him…with a hammer. Well that’s violent. The powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana and Michaels hammers away, setting up a top rope seated senton.

Vader sends him outside in a heap though and that means it’s time to pose. Back in and Vader runs him over a few times so it’s off to Cornette. That takes too long though and it’s off to Lothario, who drops Cornette with a single right hand. Vader comes in and goes after Lothario so Michaels comes back in to take over. The top rope elbow connects but Vader drops him again with a hard clothesline.

We take a break and come back with Vader thinking about the moonsault but trying the Vader Bomb instead, allowing Michaels to get his feet up. Michaels manages a slam but tries it again and goes down, allowing Vader to hit the powerbomb. The Vader Bomb gives Vader the pin at 9:31.

Rating: C+. Maybe it’s just how uninteresting or bad everything else has been, but I will absolutely take this for what it was worth. This was a simple story of the monster heel going after the champion and the managers being in there for their side feud. It’s not something embarrassing and it’s not something that makes me wonder why I’m wasting my time watching the whole thing. I’ll take that after everything else as as this is easily the best thing on the show.

Post match Vader goes after Michaels again but Sycho Sid runs in for the save. Goldust (facing Sid next week) runs in as well and it’s a big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a bit but at the same time, this show was focused on one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen on Raw. As is often the case for this period, it’s Shawn Michaels and just about no one else, with the tease of Undertaker vs. Mankind in a big gimmick match only having so much steam. Just stop doing stupid stuff and be amazed at how much better these shows can be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 1996
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Attendance: 4,903
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back to the regular Monday schedule and less than two weeks away from Mind Games. Therefore Mankind is already coming after Shawn Michaels and that isn’t going to end well. Other than that, Razor Ramon and Diesel are apparently on their way back to the WWF and I’m not looking forward to this. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get a quick preview for the show.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Faarooq vs. Savio Vega

Sunny is here with Faarooq, who is still in his blue period here. A headbutt staggers Vega to start and a shoulder runs him down. Lawler won’t shut up about Sunny, at least until Faarooq cuts off a crossbody and throws him down in Sunny’s direction. The spinwheel kick gives Vega two but he walks into a spinebuster for two. A snap suplex gets two more and we take a break.

We come back with Faarooq holding a chinlock, with Sunny getting in some choking from the floor. Vega gets up and grabs a victory roll for two, only to get caught in another chinlock. Faarooq grinds away even more but misses a middle rope headbutt. Back up and Vega hits a running boot to the face, with the fans greatly approving. That’s cut off as well and the chinlock is right back on. Vega fights up again but gets caught with what would become known as the Dominator for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C. Faarooq was not exactly lighting up the ring at this point and there wasn’t much that could be done about it. His look wasn’t helping him either, as the whole blue gladiator deal never worked. Vega’s better days were behind him too, making this far from the most interesting match.

Post match Sycho Sid, Faarooq’s opponent in the second round, comes out for the pull apart arguing.

Some wrestlers with Ahmed Johnson well. Some of them like the idea of hurting him even more though.

Here are Shawn Michaels and Jose Lothario for a chat. Before Michaels talks about Mankind, he wants to talk about Camp Cornette. Michaels has taken out everyone in Camp Cornette except Cornette himself, but Lothario will deal with him at Mind Games. Lothario rants in Spanish a bit before Michaels moves on to Mankind. While Mankind has been running roughshod over the WWF, it all stops at Mind Games. Undertaker is going to deal with Paul Bearer and while Michaels might not be Mankind’s mommy, he’ll be his daddy. Don’t hunt what you can’t kill. Michaels liked that line.

The Stalker vs. TL Hopper

The Stalker is better known as Barry Windham and this is his first match in the WWF since 1989. We go split screen to talk to Owen Hart and Brian Pillman, who promise that Bret Hart will be back at Mind Games. Back to the match, Stalker hits a clothesline as Ross says that mentioning Razor Ramon and Diesel’s return has led to a snag in negotiations but they’re still coming. Stalker takes him into the corner and hits the superplex for the win at 3:29.

Rating: D+. The fact that this was Stalker’s big debut and they IMMEDIATELY went to the split screen and then commentary talked about everything else told you everything you needed to know about his future prospects. It doesn’t help that he was the Stalker rather than plain old Barry Windham, which would have been an upgrade. Rather lame debut, with neither side helping matters here as the match was nothing to see either.

We recap Mr. Perfect stealing Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s valets.

We recap Mark Henry agreeing to face Jerry Lawler at Summerslam.

Crush vs. Freddy Joe Floyd

Clarence Mason is here with Crush and sits in on commentary. Crush hammers him into the corner to start and then throws him back out of said corner. Make up your mind dude. A gorilla press and elbow get…nothing actually as Crush pulls him up. Floyd pulls the leg and hits a crossbody, only to get dropped onto the top rope. A big boot sets up the Heart Punch to finish Floyd at 2:40. Total squash.

We look at Bob Backlund bringing back the Iron Sheik. By that I mean we just show most of the segment.

Undertaker vs. Salvatore Sincere

Undertaker doesn’t have his usual entrance gear and, by his standards, hustles to the ring to start hammering away. Sincere gets planted in a hurry and Undertaker hammers away in the corner. Back up and Sincere gets in a few shots of his own, followed by some shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline gives Sincere two as the idea is Undertaker is banged up and distracted. Sincere gets two off a Russian legsweep as we get an insert interview from Goldust and Marlena, where they quote the Untouchables.

Sincere’s chinlock doesn’t last long and a side slam gets two. The chinlock goes on again and we actually take a break. We come back with Ross talking about Diesel and Razor Ramon progressing in their negotiations to return. Sincere knocks him down again but Undertaker pops up and hits the jumping clotheslines. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish for Undertaker at 9:57.

Rating: C-. So the idea here was that Undertaker was all ticked off and wrestling differently without Bearer….but it was Salvatore Sincere. There is no logical way under which it should take Undertaker about ten minutes to beat him. Even a half speed and distracted Undertaker should have been able to take him out in short order, but we got this for so long instead.

Overall Rating: C-. This tournament isn’t exactly must see television and some of the other stuff wasn’t much better. It’s just such a dead period for the company as the NWO is still white hot over in WCW and the WWF has absolutely nothing (outside of Mankind vs. Michaels, which sounds great) to counter. It feels like that is going to be the case for a long time to come and hopefully Raw can boost itself up a bit. Otherwise, we’re in for some rough television.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 6, 1996
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Attendance: 4,903
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross

We’re a few weeks removed from Summerslam 1996 and due to the US Open tennis tournament, this show is airing on a Friday. It’s Raw Championship Friday and we are going to be having a series of title (related) matches, including parts of the Intercontinental Title tournament. Shawn Michaels is defending the WWF Title against Goldust as well so let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Shawn Michaels vs. Goldust.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Sycho Sid vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

The title is vacant due to Ahmed Johnson’s latest injury. Sid shoves him outside to start and cuts off an early comeback attempt. A swinging neckbreaker gets Helmsley out of trouble though and a knee drop gets two, with Sid sending him flying on the kickout. Back up and some right hands into a chokeslam set up the powerbomb to finish Helmsley at 3:35.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, with Sid almost squashing Helmsley. It’s still so weird to see that being the case but Helmsley didn’t mean nearly as much back then. Sid wrecking people is always fun to see though as he knew exactly how to do that kind of a match. The hand under the arm chokeslam always looked nice too.

Cue Mr. Perfect to escort off Helmsley’s escort.

We get a medical update on Ahmed Johnson. Things are bad, but they’ve gotten a bit better. Johnson promises he’ll be back, with his doctor saying he could be back at 100%.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Steve Austin vs. Marc Mero

Brian Pillman, still on a crutch, is on commentary and Sable is here with Mero. Austin doesn’t have wrist tape on here and it’s a rather weird look. They take turns powering each other into the corner until Mero armdrags him down. A dropkick gets two and sends Austin bailing out to the floor for a breather. Pillman promises that Bret Hart will be at Mind Games later this month while JR keeps promising some big story later tonight. Mero grabs some rollups for two each and we take a break.

We come back with Mero charging into a Stun Gun (hot shot), only for Austin to miss a rather Bret Hart style middle rope elbow. Mero hits a backdrop and a top rope ax handle connects for two. Back up and Austin pulls the referee into Mero’s shoulder to the ribs, which is enough for Mero to get the DQ win at 8:40.

Rating: C+. The ending was a nice enough touch as Austin loses without taking a fall, which is the right way to go. At the same time, Mero gets to look like a potential new star, which is often the point of a tournament like this. They only had so much time here and it wound up working fairly well, so we’ll call it a success.

Post match Austin gives Mero a Stunner and they have to be held apart.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to talk to Mark Henry. Lawler mocks Jake Roberts’ efforts at Summerslam and brings up Henry cutting off the whiskey that Lawler was about to pour down Roberts’ throat. Henry doesn’t like Lawler, who wants to wrestle Henry, because he doesn’t know how to wrestle. Henry says he isn’t trained enough to wrestle yet, but Lawler calls him a coward. It turns out that this is a bad idea with the World’s Strongest Man, who grabs Lawler by the jacket and accepts the challenge. Henry really shouldn’t have been on television yet.

Mankind vs. Alex Porteau

Paul Bearer is freshly with Mankind after turning on Undertaker at Summerslam. Mankind hammers away as JR drops his big news: Diesel and Razor Ramon are returning to the WWF. Oh geez that’s what I was afraid it was going to be. Apparently Mankind is going to be challenging Shawn Michaels at Mind Games and he hits a running knee in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker connects as Ross talks about an amateur wrestler meeting with WWF officials. Some guy named “Kurt Angle”. Mandible Claw finishes at 2:08.

We go to a Special Olympics event in Toronto where Sycho Sid and some Special Olympians won a tug of war with an elephant. Nothing wrong with that. There was a big event that night as well, with Roddy Piper making a surprise appearance.

Bob Backlund plans to bring back the WWWF (yes WWWF) Championship and he has a trainer for his future champion. He has some “abomination” for this man: the Iron Sheik. The Sheik brags about their careers and commentary cuts him off as he keeps rambling.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldust

Goldust, with Marlena (countering Jose Lothario for Michaels), is challenging. During his entrance, we get an insert interview from Undertaker, who is ready to end Goldust. Michaels isn’t having any of this jump start and knocks Goldust to the floor as we hear about Michaels in Playgirl Magazine. Michaels goes up top but gets knocked out of the air, only to come back with right hands in the corner.

Goldust hits a clothesline and then drops Michaels throat first across the top rope to take over. It works so well that Goldust does it again over the barricade, allowing Marlena to blow some cigar smoke in Michaels’ face. A suplex gives Goldust two and we take a break. Back with Michaels fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled right back down into the same thing.

We go split screen as Mankind is promising a surprise for Michaels. The comeback lets Michaels get in a double knockdown and the flying forearm connects. Goldust rolls through a high crossbody and we take another break. We come back with Marlena breaking up Sweet Chin Music but Michaels slips out of the Curtain Call. The moonsault press retains the title at 11:55.

Rating: C+. You pretty much know what you’re going to get from a match between these two and it went perfectly well. Goldust was fine for a thrown out there challenger, which is what all he was supposed to be. Michaels was gearing up for Mankind and needed some more reps and it went well for a one off TV match.

Post match Mankind runs in but Michaels splits between them and escapes in a smart move.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure how much this felt like a show dedicated to championships, but at least they had a nice title main event and checked off a few of the tournament matches. It was also a show that needed to help set the stage for Mind Games and it did that at the end, with Mankind vs. Shawn Michaels being the only thing that is likely to matter at that show. Give us one more match in the next few weeks everything should be ok.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 19, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re still a long way away from Summerslam but Lex Luger has come up with something better than being on Raw: he’s going to be on a bus! Over the weekend, Luger announced the launch of the Lex Express as he is trying to find his way to a title shot at Summerslam. Other than that, Marty Jannetty wants the Intercontinental Title back from Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at the launch of the Lex Express, with Lex Luger saying it’s still cool to be patriotic.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending. Jannetty stops to look at Diesel and gets decked from behind. A backslide doesn’t work for Michaels and Jannetty counters a rollup by sending him to the floor. Back in and Michaels misses the superkick, which leaves him rather frustrated. A flying shoulder only hits the buckle so Jannetty starts in on the arm. Jannetty takes him down again and hits a DDT for the pin…but Michaels’ foot was on the rope.

We take a break and come back with the match continuing as Jannetty grabs a suplex for two. A backbreaker gives Jannetty two and the sleeper goes on. Michaels manages to send him outside for the break before they collide back inside. A poke to the eye staggers Jannetty again and we take another break.

We come back with Michaels grabbing a chinlock, which in this case means an arm laying over Jannetty’s chest (that looked horrible). Thankfully it’s switched to a front facelock, which goes on for a good while. That’s broken up and Jannetty counters a piledriver into a hurricanrana. Jannetty rolls through a high crossbody for two but misses a charge and crashes hard to the floor. Diesel throws him back in and Michaels retains at 21:21.

Rating: B. This was a good match, though the two of them have had some rather strong matches over the years so that isn’t a big surprise. The Rockers might not have been the best team ever but they worked well together in a variety of ways. Good stuff here, though pretty much the end of Jannetty as a serious contender for anything.

Vince McMahon brings out Money Inc. for a chat. They aren’t happy about losing the Tag Team Titles to the Steiner Brothers but they’ll get them back next week. DiBiase mocks Razor Ramon for losing to the 1-2-3 Kid and thinks Ramon could have a job working for them. Ramon comes out to say he works for no one and has no price before taking them out. DiBiase swears revenge and challenges….the 1-2-3 Kid to show Ramon how it’s done. That’s the official face turn and yeah that worked.

Men On A Mission vs. Rich Myers/Hank Harris

Oscar is here with MOM, who take over on Myers to start. The slow motion beating ensues and apparently Men On A Mission are the team of the future. No wonder the tag division was in such bad shape in the 90s. The double splash ends Harris at 1:43.

It’s the Summerslam Report, which focuses on Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler and Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez in a Rest In Peace match (as Mr. Hughes doesn’t seem to have the legs to get that far).

We look at the beginning of the Lex Express tour. It’s Lex Luger on a bus and greeting fans.

Bastion Booger vs. Scott Depres

Booger runs him over, drops a leg and hits a powerslam. The weird sitdown splash finishes at 58 seconds.

Next week: Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow II. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Here is Jerry Lawler for the King’s Court. He brings out his guest, ukulele player Tiny Tim, who is the definition of a gimmick performer, whom Lawler mocks for his weird appearance. Tim starts singing his song, Tiptoe Through The Tulips, and Lawler cuts him off after a few notes. He has a radio show in Iowa coming up but stops to note the BURGER KING chants. Tim thinks Lawler is more the DAIRY QUEEN so Lawler breaks his ukulele. In case this doesn’t mean anything to you, note that Tim’s big song was released in 1968.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Chris Duffy

Duffy takes him into the corner to start as Money Inc. comes out to watch. Kid gets hiptossed down but comes back with a kick of his own. The running legdrop (those always looked good) has Duffy in more trouble and a running clothesline drops him again. A top rope legdrop gives the Kid a win at 2:09.

Razor Ramon comes out to mock Money Inc.

Randy Savage has abducted a child to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s one match on the show and it worked rather well, which is more than enough to carry a show like this. The rest of the show was the usual collection of short matches and little else. I’m not sure what the point of the Tiny Tim thing was, but it was probably the company’s usual obsession with any celebrity status they could get. What mattered here was Michaels vs. Jannetty though, and that made up for the rest of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re finally here, as I took such a long break from the 2008 cycle that this show is something like a year in the making for me. It’s a weirdly structured show, as there are three Championship Scramble matches for the big titles, but the real main event is Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in an unsanctioned match. That story has been carrying the story this year so let’s get to it.

The opening video takes a quick look at the Scramble matches before moving on to Jericho vs. Michaels, with WWE pretty openly acknowledging that it is the biggest match on the show.

For the sake of simplicity, here are the Scramble rules:

• 20 minute time limit

• Two people start, with another of the five total entrants entering every five minutes

• Anyone scoring a pinfall/submission (it does NOT have to be on the champion) becomes the “current” champion

• Whoever is the “current” champion when time expires leaves as champion

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Mark Henry

Henry is defending and Matt Hardy is in at #1 while The Miz is in at #2. Hardy grinds away on a headlock to start and seems to have a lot to say to Miz, who reverses into a headlock of his own. That’s broken up as well and Hardy hits the corner clothesline but the bulldog is countered. Instead Hardy pulls him out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two and another clothesline gets the same. Back up and Miz gets in a shot from behind, setting up the chinlock. Hardy gets out and grabs a sunset flip for two but Miz Reality Checks him out to the floor. That gets a rather delayed two back inside and it’s Guerrero in at #3.

Guerrero wastes no time in knocking Miz down and hitting a frog splash to pin Hardy and become current champion (remember: Miz does NOT have to take the fall for someone to become current champion). Hardy fights back and knocks Miz outside, followed by an elbow for two on Guerrero. Miz is back up as well and hits a high crossbody onto both of them for two on Hardy. Hardy drops Miz though and the Side Effect to Guerrero makes Hardy current champion. The chinlock slows Miz down (not a move you expect to see in a match like this) and it’s Henry in at #4.

The triple teaming does not work very well as Henry tosses all of them away, followed by a gorilla press drop to Hardy. The World’s Strongest Slam to Guerrero makes Henry current champion as the dominance continues. Hardy can’t hit the Twist of Fate and gets knocked to the floor, followed by Henry grabbing a bearhug on Guerrero. That’s switched to a bearhug on Hardy, who is mostly done as Finlay is in at #5 to complete the field.

Finlay wastes no time in kicking away at Henry, followed by a DDT for two. Henry shrugs that off and grabs another bearhug, which draws in Hornswoggle for a distraction. Finlay shillelaghs Henry and gets Hardy to help toss him out. A quick Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay current champion with about 3:45 to go.

Miz missile dropkicks Finlay down but gets caught with the Twist of Fate to make Hardy current champion with 3:19 to go. Hardy turns to look at Henry but has to break up a cover as Guerrero frog splashes Miz (whose eye is busted open). Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero with Hardy making the save.

The same thing happens to Finlay, leaving Henry to break up Miz’s rollup on Hardy. Guerrero gets pulled into a World’s Strongest Slam for two with Hardy making the save at 1:30 to go. Henry kicks Finlay down, making him drop Hardy at the same time. Hardy is back up to save Miz from Henry’s splash with 1:00 to go. Hardy keeps playing defense and no one can get a pin, with Hardy managing to run out the clock and become the champion.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but once the clock came on screen and the desperation started to build, this got very entertaining in a hurry. The idea of anyone being able to take the fall boosts this WAY up, as otherwise it would have been Hardy running away for the last few minutes. It was a really fun way to introduce the concept and I ha d a good time with it.

Matt Hardy runs into Jeff Hardy in the back and says it’s time for the Hardys to both be champions.

We get a poll question of whether Vickie Guerrero should have allowed Big Show into the Smackdown Scramble. Odd question to ask.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Rhodes and DiBiase are defending after having Cryme Tyme steal the belts, though Rhodes and DiBiase stole them back, rendering the whole thing a waste of time. JTG starts with some dropkicks and Shad clotheslines the champs to the floor. A big dive connects as well and JTG takes over back inside.

DiBiase fights up and is promptly powerslammed down by Shad. It’s back to JTG who chases Rhodes outside, allowing DiBiase to get in a clothesline to take over. Back in and Rhodes works on the arm before working on the arm to change things up a bit. DiBiase comes back in for a nice dropkick and his own kick to the arm.

JTG suplexes his way to freedom but Rhodes is in to cut Shad off in time. The armbar goes on again before Rhodes goes up top, only to get pulled down for a crash. That’s enough to make the tag off to Shad to clean house. DiBiase’s suplex gets two, with Shad’s foot getting on the rope. The G9 is loaded up but Rhodes slips out. JTG grabs a small package but DiBiase turns it over so Rhodes can get the pin to retain.

Rating: C. There wasn’t much that could be done here and they couldn’t really find a way around the problem. The titles do not feel overly important and that dragged down anything they could have done. The champs getting their belts back before the match took away the limited interest they had in the first place and it was downhill from there.

Post match the brawl is on again but a Samoan comes in to help Rhodes and DiBiase, setting up the triple pose.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been feuding for months and Jericho had Michaels ready to retire over an eye injury. Jericho wouldn’t stand for that though and they insulted each other, resulting in Jericho accidentally punching Michaels’ wife. Jericho blamed Michaels, who swore vengeance, setting up an unsanctioned match here. This has been the best story in WWE in a long time and this is the real main event of the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Unsanctioned so anything goes and Michaels is in street clothes, with his injured arm heavily bandaged. Michaels starts fast and hammers away, including some shots to the face with a belt. They go outside and over the barricade, with Michaels busting Jericho’s nose open. Jericho gets posted but avoids a chair shot and it’s time for the first table.

A table shot to the back crushes Michaels and he gets dropped face first onto the apron. Back in and Jericho chairs him down and the chair is wedged in the corner (that’s never a good idea). Jericho’s whip is reversed into the post though and Michaels gets a breather. They fight over a suplex from the apron through a table on the floor before Michaels takes him back inside for the running forearm.

The top rope elbow connects and Sweet Chin Music is loaded up, but Jericho collapses. Michaels isn’t waiting and hammers him down into the crossface but Jericho gets out again. Jericho starts going after the bad eye until Michaels gets in a shot of his own. The upside down whip in the corner (into the chair) just seems to re-energize Michaels, who is back with a Thesz press. Jericho gets up and pulls him into the Walls but the ropes mean nothing for Michaels.

Instead he finds a well placed fire extinguisher and sprays his way to freedom. An extinguisher shot to the face rocks Jericho again and they fight on the ramp, where Lance Cade comes out to help Jericho. Some shots to the bad arm, including one around the post, have Michaels in big trouble. Jericho goes to the eye and then back to the arm before the chair is brought back in. Cade holds the arm so Jericho can smash it with the chair, only for Michaels to break up the Pillmanizing.

One heck of a chair to the head knocks Jericho off the top and through the table at ringside for the big crash. Michaels unloads with the chair and puts Cade on the announcers’ table…but stops to kick Jericho some more. Jericho is stacked onto Cade and the top rope elbow drives both of them through the table. Michaels is all fired up and whips Jericho with the belt, including a hard shot to the eye. Michaels ties up Jericho’s arms and just unloads with left hands to the head until his own arm gives out. The referee pulls him off but Michaels is back on Jericho. It’s broken up again and the referee calls the match as Jericho is out.

Rating: A-. The most important part of this match is that they sold the story they were telling. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and Michaels was for himself and his family. I bought into what they were doing and if they had gotten just a bit more intense (and by that I mean some blood), it would be even better. Either way, absolutely outstanding match here that actually got close to living up to the incredible hype.

Post match Michaels can’t help himself and beats up Jericho even more. The referee drags Michaels off and gets superkicked, leaving Michaels shaking. More referees come out to protect Jericho as Michaels composes himself. The look on Michaels’ face is PERFECT, as he clearly hates Jericho but also hates himself for letting it go that far. That boosts things up even more.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase introduce Randy Orton to their new friend Manu, the son of Afa. Manu says Orton can knock all of the other champions on Raw but these two are a different class. Orton says congratulations and says it was dumb luck. Go watch a replay of the match and then tell him what they did that deserves praise. They shouldn’t be proud.

Smackdown World Title: The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

HHH is defending, Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Shelton Benjamin is in at #2. They trade rollups to start until Benjamin takes him down into a headlock. With that broken up, Benjamin grabs a suplex into a chinlock with a knee in the back. Hardy fights up and Kendrick is in at #3.

Benjamin tries to suplex Hardy off the apron but Kendrick breaks it up and covers Hardy for two. With Benjamin down, Hardy avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Twist Of Fate to become current champion. Benjamin is back in to knee Hardy into the corner but misses another splash. Hardy tries a sunset flip (possibly forgetting the rules, which is fine) for two but Paydirt gives Benjamin two more with Kendrick making the save. The Kendrick gives Kendrick the pin on Hardy to make him current champion.

MVP is in at #4 and kicks Hardy to the floor before backdropping Kendrick out with him. Benjamin and MVP slug it out until Kendrick comes back in with some kicks to the face. Benjamin Samoan drops Kendrick and everyone is down as HHH is in at #5 to complete the field, meaning we have less than five minutes to go. HHH fires off the clotheslines to start fast and hits a Pedigree to pin Kendrick and become current champion with 4:11 to go. Benjamin sends HHH outside though and into the steps, leaving Hardy to give MVP the Twist Of Fate to become current champion with 3:05 to go.

Kendrick comes after Hardy and gets gordbustered but HHH crotches Hardy on top. The Pedigree gives HHH the pin on Kendrick with 2:05 to go but Hardy Swantons Kendrick for the pin to become current champion with 1:53 to go. Hardy sends HHH outside and hits a big flip dive and everyone is down with 1:10 to go. With HHH and Hardy outside, the other three hit a Tower Of Doom with MVP being in the best place. Hardy is back in for a Whisper In The Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Benjamin…but HHH comes in to Pedigree and pin MVP and retain the title as time expires.

Rating: C+. The problem here was the lack of drama for the most part, as while the opener had five people you could see walking out with the title, this was ALL about HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and nothing more. The other three were just warm bodies, which is a shame as this is the kind of match where you could do some good teasing of a surprise winner. Kendrick felt that way for all of a minute before it turned into the HHH/Hardy show. After that, nothing else mattered and the ending, while timed very well, didn’t come off as exciting as much as one of the two realistic winners winning.

Shawn Michaels isn’t used to not going to the hospital after a pay per view. His family is going to see the look on his face and know what he did. He’s content, but he’s not satisfied. If he had his way, he would do everything he did to Jericho every night for the rest of his life. Jericho has awoken something inside of him that he isn’t sure if he can control and isn’t sure if he wants to. The worst is yet to come.

Randy Orton interrupts CM Punk and calls him a fluke. Cue Ted DiBiase, Manu and Cody Rhodes to beat Punk down. Kofi Kingston makes a failed save attempt and Orton punts Punk out cold.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

McCool is defending and starts fast with a wristdrag out of the corner, though she comes up favoring her knee. Maryse bails to the floor so McCool follows, with Maryse sending her over the barricade. Back in and Maryse takes out the knee and starts cranking away, including tying the leg in the ropes. Maryse stops to flip her hair though, allowing McCool to kick her in the face for two. A big boot and a sitout gordbuster retain McCool’s title.

Rating: C-. I feel bad for these two. The match itself was just ok at best and honestly not that good, though they used a fine story of McCool hurting her leg and Maryse working on it. That’s totally acceptable, even if the match was decent for the most part. The problem continues to be the way the entire division is presented, as you had McCool’s Titantron featuring her getting out of a pool and Tazz calling them “the sexiest women on television.” It’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re being treated as eye candy and they had been putting in the work to get better. That’s not fair on them and it took a long time to overcome.

Here is Raw GM Mike Adamle, who announces that CM Punk may not be able to compete, so he might have to find a suitable replacement. Either way, there will be a five man Championship Scramble.

Here is the Big Show for an unscheduled chat. Show: “HI!” He gets right to the point: if Adamle needs a replacement for the Scramble, look no further than him. Show plugs the Smackdown Your Vote campaign and brings up the poll from earlier about whether or not he should have been in the Scramble, with 77% saying yes. We get a quick audience poll, with the fans seemingly wanting him in the match and that’s it…until Vickie Guerrero interrupts.

She calls him a big dumb giant and doesn’t like being insulted, so now he will deal with the “circumstances”. Show needs to get out of the ring but hold on because we’ve got druids (Show finds this hilarious). They bring a coffin to the ring and Undertaker pops up on screen to talk about the rather specific way he wants to kill Guerrero and send her to H***. Vickie tries to leave but Show holds her in place as Undertaker slowly (of course) comes to the ring. She even gets outside but Show throws her back inside as Undertaker opens the casket and gets inside the ring.

The jacket and hat come off as Show is still holding Vickie in place. Undertaker shakes his head at her and grabs Vickie by the throat….and Show KO Punches him. Show massacres Undertaker and it keeps going for a good while, with Show hitting another two KO Punches. Vickie gets in a slap and spits in Undertaker’s face before the villains leave. This went on WAY too long, though minor points for having Show’s turn feel like a surprise (or as close as it could be given how telegraphed it was when he was still out there).

We recap Randy Orton and CM Punk getting into it on Raw, leading to Orton attacking Punk earlier tonight. Ignore how much the replay reveals that it was a shin to the general vicinity of the head rather than a punt.

William Regal tries to get into the Scramble but Mike Adamle says there is still a chance Punk wrestles.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk is defending (in theory), Batista is in at #1 and JBL is in at #2. Batista powers him into the corner to start but gets forearmed back. JBL does some horribly blatant spot calling before getting his whip reversed into the corner. A sleeper is broken up with a shinbreaker and Batista grabs a Figure Four so we get the required Ric Flair reference. That’s broken up and they go outside, with Batista sending him into the steps.

Kane is in at #3 and it seems that the clock is speeding up. Batista wastes no time with a clothesline but Kane is right back up with a big boot. The basement dropkick gets two on Batista and the side slam sets up the missed top rope clothesline. JBL is back in but misses the Clothesline From JBL, meaning it’s a chokeslam to make Kane the current champion. Back up and Kane stays on Batista until Rey Mysterio is in at #4.

Mysterio gets to clean house until Kane cuts him off in the corner. Batista breaks that up and we get the splash off Batista’s shoulders onto Kane to give Mysterio two. They try it again but this time Mysterio rolls Batista up for two, which might not have been the brightest move. Mysterio points out that Batista covered Kane after the splash but JBL is back up to drop both of them. JBL’s fall away slam sends Mysterio onto Batista (that was clever) but the clock is up….and Chris Jericho is in at #5.

Jericho can barely move on the way to the ring and there are some NASTY welts on his back. Batista cuts Kane off and gives him a powerslam as we’re down to four minutes left with Jericho coming in and getting speared down. A bad 619 hits Kane’s ribs and Batista adds a big boot for two. Batista breaks up a springboard from Mysterio and drops Kane for two more. Kane is back up with the top rope clothesline for his own near fall.

A spear cuts Kane off with less than a minute to go and a spinebuster makes Batista current champion with 35 seconds left. Batista realizes he has to play defense for a bit and cuts off Mysterio’s springboard with a powerbomb. Jericho sneaks in and steals the pin on Kane for the pin with seven seconds left. Batista, apparently COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF PINNING THE MAN HE JUST POWERBOMBED INTO OBLIVION, stares at Jericho until time expires.

Rating: C+. I didn’t hate it, but at the end of the day, the second Jericho came out, you knew the ending. There was no way around that and at the end of the day, it was a countdown to Jericho stealing the pin. Other than that, you had what you would expect from these guys as it was just waiting to see if Punk would be in there or not. They didn’t hide where they were going, but dang Jericho getting the title is a nice twist given how everything else has been lately on Raw.

Overall Rating: B. The opener and Jericho vs. Michaels are more than good enough to carry this thing, though that twist at the end makes the main event feel that much better. It was a very tricky show to navigate with so many people tied up in the three Scrambles, but Jericho and Michaels is excellent and lived up to the hype. Very good show here, and if one of the other two Scrambles was better, it would have gone even higher.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Unforgiven and the big matches are entirely set. The good thing is that this includes the incredible Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match, which is pretty much carrying the quality side of things. Other than that you have CM Punk ready to defend in the Championship Scramble which is….well it exists. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

Here is the injured Randy Orton for a chat and the hometown fans are happy to see him. Orton confirms that he is not 100% yet but there is something he has to get off his chest. He believes that a brand is only as strong as its champions. When he was on top, Raw was the best thing going but now it’s a joke. Beth Phoenix runs around like a lovesick puppy after the weakest Intercontinental Champion of all time in Santino Marella. Then you have Priceless, who should be called Worthless, because they don’t even have their belts.

Finally though, we have someone who is disgracing the World Title in CM Punk. Four years ago, Punk was wrestling in no name towns but then he won a briefcase and got the World Title. That makes Orton sick and he would love to challenge Punk to get the title back tonight. Cue Punk, who says he is getting a headache from listening to Orton. Not everyone has their daddy and grandfather getting them into WWE.

Punk doesn’t drink, smoke, or go for joy rides on his motorcycle at 3am and make his injury even worse. He’s going to retain the title on Sunday, and then he wants Orton to come tell him how pathetic he is again. Orton says they’ll continue this at a later time and walks away. Cue JBL to interrupt, saying Punk doesn’t get it. Fairy tales aren’t real and the Cinderella run ends on Sunday.

We get the traditional odds explanation and JBL says anyone could take the title from Punk on Sunday. Cue Kane to interrupt, saying that he’s been to H*** and he didn’t see JBL’s Clothesline. He did see Rey Mysterio though, so he’s not likely for the scramble match. Cue Batista to interrupt but he opts to beat everyone else up rather than speaking. Batista walks out rather quickly, leaving the other three laying. I love Punk and I was thrilled when he won the title but egads he could not look much weaker.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

This week’s Haas impression is….John Cena, so the fans are not happy with the fake out. Haas says “the Haas is here and you can’t see me.” Then how do we know you’re here? Kingston starts fast with a monkey flip but Haas knocks him down. The Five Knuckle Shuffle is blocked though and Kingston grabs a Russian legsweep into the Boom Drop. A rollup doesn’t work for Haas and Trouble In Paradise finishes him in a hurry. The Haas impressions are funny enough but if he’s going to lose in short order every time, their charm isn’t likely to last very long.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase talk to Randy Orton, who slaps Rhodes in the face. Orton tells them to grow a set because otherwise, he stands by everything he says.

ECW GM Teddy Long, and his assistant Tiffany, are here with Mike Adamle. Their Scramble participants are in a battle royal tonight, which Adamle says is like a Jerry Lawis Labor Day telethon without the kids. Long tries to get his head around that one as Kane comes in to say that Adamle advertising Rey Mysterio was stupid because his body has been destroyed. Adamle was hoping it would make Mysterio show up, so Kane tells him to keep hoping.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Miz, Finlay, Mark Henry

Henry’s ECW Title isn’t on the line and yeah it’s a five man battle royal. Everyone else goes after Henry to start and that goes nowhere, as Henry shoves them all away. Some double teaming does get Henry off his feet (not a great idea in a battle royal) but Miz goes after Hardy. Guerrero jumps Miz so Henry dumps both of them and we’re already down to three. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy strikes away but he and Finlay can’t get the elimination. Finlay is tossed but Hardy is back up with the middle rope elbow to the head. The Twist Of Fate is easily blocked though and Henry tosses him for the win.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? It’s a five man battle royal and only went on for a few minutes. There isn’t much that can be done with a regular match in that amount of time but having such a small field for a battle royal makes it even harder. Henry winning a match that is built for someone like him doesn’t help either, making this quite the weak offering.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is at ringside so Noble can impress her. Regal goes right at him and grabs a full nelson, which is reversed into a rollup for two. A left hand drops Noble and the half and half suplex does it again. Noble is right back up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere and Layla does seem somewhat impressed.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before a six woman tag.

Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle

Phoenix tells Randy Orton to watch and this is Michelle’s big return after a very long injury absence. Burchill and Kelly start things off with Burchill taking her down for two so it’s off to James for a top rope Thesz press. Burchill takes James into the corner though and Hall comes in, only to get forearmed in the face to cut that off fast.

Phoenix grabs a suplex to drop James again though and it’s back to Hall. A neckbreaker gets James out of trouble and Michelle gets to come in and clean house. Michelle tries a high crossbody but Phoenix rolls through and….I have absolutely no idea what the next sequence was supposed to be. They are on different plants for a bit but after about twenty seconds of not being able to do anything right, Michelle small packages her for the pin.

Rating: D+. They got so messed up in the end there, and while it felt like they just messed up to start and then both tried to fix it in a different way, they did at least get the right result. That being said, they didn’t have time to do much here (again) and Michelle coming back to beat the champ after the better part of a year away pretty much just proves Orton right about Phoenix.

We get a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, which is now a personal rivalry over Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Michaels’ wife in the face. Michaels was ready to retire, but now it’s time for personal revenge with Michaels angrier than he has been in a long time. This has been the best thing on Raw since it started and now we are ready for one more huge fight between them, which should be outstanding.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title. Hold on though as Marella wants to show that Randy Orton was wrong. Marella orders the HONK-A-METER, which shows that Honky Tonk Man was Intercontinental Champion for 64 weeks. On the other hand, Marella has been the Intercontinental Champion for 2 weeks, putting him 62 weeks back.

That is nothing for Marella, and then he will be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. I can’t stand Santino but this is still one of those gags that will always make me chuckle. It’s so stupid that it’s funny and that can work so well. Marella drives him into the corner to start but Brown is back up with a running clothesline for two. A Shining Wizard drops Marella but he avoids the Low Down and gets the fast pin.

This week’s classic moment: the first Raw in MSG. Yeah that fits.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Hold on as Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes run in to jump Cryme Tyme and beat them down. The champs get their belts back and there’s no match.

Post break Rhodes and DiBiase run into Orton, who doesn’t say anything but seems pleased.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis.

Batista’s game plan for tonight: destroy everyone.

Unforgiven rundown.

Battle Royal

Batista, CM Punk, JBL, Kane

Non-title and it’s somehow even lamer than earlier with a four man battle royal because there’s no Rey Mysterio. There is however Randy Orton, who is watching at ringside. Batista hammers on Kane to start and JBL knocks Punk down in the corner. Some running corner clotheslines have Batista in control but he can’t throw Punk out. Kane boots Batista in the face though and Punk hits a clothesline to get rid of him.

JBL boots the other two out but Punk backdrops him out, leaving us with Punk vs. Kane. Some shots to the face aren’t enough to get rid of Punk so Kane gives him a side slam. Kane knocks him to the apron so Punk tries a springboard, for Kane to grab him by the throat and toss him out for the win.

Rating: D. This felt like something they would do on a Memphis territory house show in front of 200 people when some wrestlers didn’t show up. The match runs about four minutes and nothing really happens, with Orton just sitting there being the, for lack of a better word, highlight. This was rough, but what were the wrestlers supposed to do under these circumstances?

Post match Punk and Orton have a staredown, with Punk hitting him in the face. Cue Rey Mysterio, leaving Kane stunned. Mysterio actually beats Kane down and gives him a 619 around the post.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for the Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels contract signing. Jericho comes out and Lawler says that WWE is waived of all liabilities before bringing Michaels out as well. Both of them sign and Lawler tries to wrap it up but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho asks why Michaels has this much security, because Jericho isn’t stupid enough to get violent here. Michaels says it’s not his security because he wants it to be the two of them alone. Jericho sends security and Lawler away, which is following Michaels’ advice, which Michaels would never do for him.

This week, Jericho did sit his family down and tell them that he will never be Shawn Michaels. He will never be a lying, cheating, manipulative monster. They will not be watching Unforgiven because he doesn’t want them to see what he’ll be doing. Jericho isn’t going to go soft on Michaels because of Michaels’ precious wife. The only person Michaels has to blame for this is himself.

Michaels is glad that Jericho’s family won’t be watching and neither will Michaels’. He wants to tell them about the time when he almost walked away but came back so he could look evil in the face and spit in its eye. Unforgiven is an appropriate name for the event because he will never forgive Jericho for what he did. All he hopes is that someday God can forgive him for what he’ll do to Jericho.

That makes Jericho stand up so Michaels takes off his jacket but Lance Cade runs in. Michaels takes him out and glares at Jericho to end the show. These two are selling the living heck out of this match and I want to see them tear into each other. You can feel the intensity here and there is nothing else like it in WWE at the moment.

Overall Rating: C-. I hope Jericho and Michaels got a very nice selection of fruit baskets from the roster because they are carrying this show on their backs. The problem here is so much of the rest of the show is built around the Scramble and there is pretty much nothing left to say about it. That makes for a very tedious show and that was on display here. The Michaels/Jericho segments are great, but that’s about it for the show. Well other than the Honk-A-Meter, but that goes without saying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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