Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XII (2015 Redo): Cry Me A River

Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Free For All: Tag Team Titles: Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

Skip drops Zip into a legdrop onto Henry but a Rocket Launcher misses. The cold tag brings in Phineas to clean house and Skip is in trouble. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) but Sunny gets on the apron and pulls up her skirt to flash Phineas, allowing Skip to roll him up for the pin and the titles at 5:24.

The opening video is entirely focused on Bret vs. Shawn and their contrasting personalities with Bret being all about respect and Shawn being very in your face. They respect each other coming in and this is going to be a great test for both, even though looking back there was no question about which way this was going.

Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson/Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart/Vader

Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to start with Yokozuna getting the better of it until Owen and Vader get him down in the corner. Vader pounds him down with rights and lefts but misses a splash, allowing the hot tag to Ahmed. We get some real house cleaning from the powerhouse but Vader gets in a shot from behind. Vince talks about a herd of buffalo until Owen dropkicks Johnson down, allowing Vader to come back in for some more big shots to the head.

Jake finally avoids a legdrop and falls into the tag off to Yokozuna who pounds Vader down in the corner again. Owen takes the DDT but Jake has to intercept an interfering Cornette. That looks to set up a DDT on Cornette but Vader makes the save and Vader Bombs Jake for the pin at 13:11.

Call the Hotline!

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

This is a Hollywood Back Lot Brawl and Piper is waiting, baseball bat in hand. Goldust drives up in a gold Cadillac, which Piper attacks with a fire hose and then the more logical bat. Piper goes after Goldust with the bat and the camera is jumping all over the place. They break up a concessions table and Piper beats him all over the lot, including some HARD right hands that sounded like they were making some very real impact.

Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Rating: C. The match was entertaining while they actually focused on it but instead we had to sit through Piper calling in (likely from backstage) to advance this stupid idea that no one not named McMahon finds funny. These two feuded for several months and it was a very underrated pairing with both guys getting better as a result. Of course Austin would move on to a much bigger feud later in the year and never looked back, but this was really fun stuff like it lasted.

More Piper footage which is still from the OJ chase.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Ultimate Warrior

Merchandise ad.

In Your House VII ad.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

Ultimate Warrior is on America Online.

We look back at the history of Bret vs. Shawn with a focus on both of their (singles) history in the company. Shawn has been rising through the ranks and is looking to fulfill his boyhood dream. We also get a focus on their training style with Shawn learning under high flier Jose Lothario and Bret being taught submissions by his father Stu Hart. This worked very well and summed up the entire idea in about a minute and a half.

Bret says he just wants to wake up tomorrow morning with the title.

Gorilla Monsoon is introduced as the new President of the WWF.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Feeling out process to start as Shawn grabs some quick takedowns to frustrate Bret just a bit. Bret holds on to a headlock to slow things down as Vince tries to say there are no Bret or Shawn fans but only WWF fans. Lawler is all over him for sounding stupid as this headlock continues. In this case though it makes sense as both guys would want to conserve energy.

With three minutes left, Shawn gets two off a top rope ax handle. The top rope elbow gets the same and Shawn plants him with a gutwrench powerbomb. He goes up with two minutes left and a moonsault press gets another near fall. A middle rope hurricanrana gets the same and Shawn is winded. With a minute left, Shawn goes up top but misses a dropkick and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Bret cranks back on it but the time limit expires at 1:00:00.

Bret is all ticked off and leaves, not to be seen for over seven months. Vince gets in the great line of “the boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.” Shawn is stunned but finally celebrates like you knew he was going to do.

A highlight package takes us out.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

I’m kind of stunned that the Iron Man has stayed consistent.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/19/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-12-one-really-long-match-and-not-much-else/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/21/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xii-grabbing-the-brass-ring/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XI (2015 Redo): It’s Not THAT Bad

Wrestlemania XI
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful. Nothing wrong with that.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Zebekiah demands justice because the wrong Blu got pinned.

Nicholas Turturro is supposed to interview Pamela Anderson but we have audio difficulties.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Back inside and Roadie cheats a bit with some choking, only to have Jeff miss a charge and land on him. All Razor so far. Back in again and Jarrett hits a swinging neckbreaker and some dropkicks to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before things speed up with both guys getting near falls. Jarrett hooks a sleeper that lasts even less time than the chinlock so Jeff punches him down and hooks another chinlock.

Rating: C. This match was mainly punches but Razor was so insanely over the he carried the crowd. Jarrett was pretty dull at this point but he would reach all new levels of dull later on in WCW. Razor would finally get the title back in a ladder match on a house show in May, but it would only last for two days. The match here was ok but nothing worth seeing. It was better than the first match though.

Post match Jarrett puts the Kid in the Figure Four.

Jarrett says that was perfectly good conduct for a champion.

Turturro is with Jenny McCarthy and nothing of note is said. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be seen but Shawn pops in to say nothing is wrong. Team DiBiase is behind them planning for later. Sid says Diesel is going down tonight.

King Kong Bundy vs. Undertaker

This is part of the never ending Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation feud. The Corporation stole the Urn at the Rumble and tonight is about revenge and getting the Urn back. Before Taker comes out, Todd Pettingil talks to some football player. The referee is a Major League umpire who is moonlighting because MLB is on strike. Undertaker stares at DiBiase before the bell and Ted drops the Urn.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Backlund says he saw the light and looks crazier than usual.

Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found so changes have been made. Ok then.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Jenny McCarthy comes out with Shawn. Pam Anderson comes out with Diesel to tick Shawn off, even though I thought McCarthy looked better. Shawn tries to jump Diesel but gets backdropped to the floor so Anderson can come in and pose. We actually get going and Shawn is dropped by a right hand. Diesel beals him out of the corner and Shawn is in trouble early.

Diesel is thrown to the floor but Shawn skins the cat to stay alive. A BIG dive off the top takes Diesel down and a baseball slide keeps him down. Shawn tries another baseball slide but Diesel steps to the side, only to accidentally ram himself ribs first into the post. A Sid chant breaks out as Shawn hits a running splash off the apron. They get back in as Sid and Hebner get in an argument which goes nowhere.

Diesel celebrates with all the celebrities.

The Million Dollar Team is introduced for the main event: Bundy, Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff, Kama, I.R.S. and DiBiase himself. We also get the NFL All-Pro Team: Ken Norton, Chris Speilman, Rickey Jackson, Carl Banks, Steve McMichael and Reggie White.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

Back in and Bigelow gets in some shots to take over including a headbutt. A falling headbutt misses so Taylor fires off a big forearm to take Bigelow down. Bam Bam pounds him right back down and puts on a Boston crab which almost immediately shifts into a half crab. It breaks down even further into Bigelow just pulling on one leg. Now he just leans on it instead of cranking on it.

Bigelow misses an enziguri but Taylor falls down anyway. The top rope headbutt gets another two and the crowd reacts a bit. Taylor gets his last gasp of energy though and pounds Bigelow in the corner before hitting a pair of big forearms. A third from the middle rope is enough for the shocking upset.

Taylor can barely stand up post match and the team has to help him back. DiBiase goes on a rant to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Man this show just isn’t fun.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/18/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-11-just-get-it-over-with/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/20/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xi-an-extremely-underrated-show/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania X (2022 Redo): You Don’t Notice The Problems

Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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WWF Global Warfare: They Lost This One

Global Warfare
Date: 1993
Host: Jimmy Hart
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

This is one of the Coliseum Videos released on the WWE Vault and I’m not sure what it’s going to be. It’s not the best time for the company as it’s in a transitional phase, with the New Generation coming in. That could go in a variety of ways and hopefully they don’t live down to this era’s reputation. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features bombs going off around the world as we seem to have a theme.

Jimmy Hart welcomes us to his home and says he’s excited about global warfare. That’s quite the odd statement to make. No one should know more about global warfare than him. That’s another quite the odd statement to make. Anyway, he talks about the theme songs (admitting he wrote them) of some of the wrestlers on the tape and brags about his music career. And now, to the first match.

From Sheffield, England, April 11, 1993.

Intercontinental Title: Crush vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and this is from the UK Rampage 1993 show, which was only so good overall. Crush powers him around to start as the fans are already doing their deal with the horns, which can get rather annoying in a hurry. Some more power sends Michaels into the corner and Crush grabs him with a bearhug to take over again. A backbreaker has Michaels in more trouble but he wins a chase around the ring and hammers away.

Crush grabs a gorilla press slam and holds him there for WAY longer than should be done before sending Michaels outside. Back in and a knee to the back knocks Crush outside, where Michaels gets in a posting to really take over for the first time. A DDT gives Michaels two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Crush blocks the superkick, setting up a legdrop…which sends Michaels bailing for the countout at 8:52.

Rating: C-. Yeah what else were they supposed to do here? Crush was on a roll and teasing getting the big Lex Luger push but you don’t want him to win the title. At the same time, it’s always a disappointing finish when someone just walks out, even if it makes sense for the options that they had available.

Post match Crush throws him back in for a beating, including the Head Vice. Crush holds up the belt like a moron, showing that he might have been perfect for the Luger push.

From Paris, France, April 8, 1993.

Yokozuna vs. Jim Duggan

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is less than a week after winning the WWF Title and losing it about a minute later. This is also singlet Duggan so you know it’s not going to be much to see. Duggan throws a chair inside and Yokozuna (in black for a weird but cool look) doesn’t really move. The right hands in the corner stagger Yokozuna a bit so Duggan grabs the 2×4, which is quickly taken away. Yokozuna chokes away on the ropes so Yokozuna comes back with more big right hands.

As usual, Yokozuna knows how to sell this stuff rather well and almost does the big fall before elbowing Duggan in the face. That sequence works so well that they just do it again, with Heenan suggesting that Duggan just hit Yokozuna in the face with the board. Instead he gets caught in a bearhug for a good while until Duggan bites his way out (Heenan: “THAT’LL WORK!”). Duggan avoids a charge into the corner and starts firing off the clotheslines to FINALLY knock him down. Fuji offers a distraction though and it’s a splash in the corner, setting up the Banzai Drop for the pin at 7:22.

Rating: C. It was basic and really simple with Duggan slugging away over and over, but dang he knows how to do that match rather well. There is something about Duggan that makes you want to see him knock a giant down. The match wasn’t good, but it was rather entertaining and that’s a good thing. At the same time, you could definitely see how much slimmer Yokozuna was here, with the tights clearly being padded to make him look bigger.

Hart is listening to music and professes his love of Coliseum Video. He also promises that Hulk Hogan will get the WWF Title back from Yokozuna. The other day, he and Hogan were in Boston and Hart wrote a new song using a Hulk pencil on a picture of Hogan. And yes, he’s wearing a Hogan shirt. Hart is nothing if not the biggest shill in wrestling history. Well one of them anyway.

From Barcelona, Spain, April 24, 1993.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc.

The Steiners are challenging and can’t get in the ring as IRS holds them off with the briefcase. The ring announcer says that if the Steiners aren’t allowed in and the briefcase isn’t taken to the back, the titles change hands. That’s enough for the Steiners to come in and clean house without much trouble.

We settle down to DiBiase headlocking Rick to start as the camera is staying rather wide for some reason. That’s reversed into a belly to belly for two on DiBiase and it’s already off to Scott to go after the arm. The camera goes to a LONG crowd shot, with Savage and Heenan both getting on him for not showing the match. We get back to the ring with DiBiase getting over for the tag to IRS, whose arm is cranked as well.

Scott uses the tie to take IRS down again as we shift to a normal camera shot as I’m rather confused by the whole direction so far. Anyway DiBiase sends Scott outside for a ram into some metal, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for two back inside. Commentary gets on the camera work again, even if things are at least somewhat settled down. DiBiase chokes Scott on the ropes and IRS gets in some cheap shots like a villain should be doing.

Scott fights out of a chinlock but goes the wrong way, with DiBiase almost feeding him into the right corner. Rick comes back in to clean house as everything breaks down. DiBiase’s piledriver is cut off and Scott adds a middle rope clothesline. IRS gets sent outside and the Frankensteiner hits DiBiase, only for IRS to come back in and….I guess the word would be tap Scott with the title for the DQ at 10:18.

Rating: C. The camera work was the focal point of this match and that’s a weird way to go. The venue was strange looking enough so maybe that’s why the camera stuff was so odd. Other than that, it was a rather just kind of there match with neither team exactly doing much. Then again, a Frankensteiner from Scott is always worth a look.

Post match the Steiners hold up the titles, marking the second time we’ve done the “they don’t know the rules” in three matches. It takes way too long to get on to the next match.

From Sheffield, England, April 11, 1993.

Mr. Perfect vs. Samu

Afa is here with Samu. They take their time to start and Samu shoves Perfect away, meaning they stare at each other again. Perfect’s headlock and a shoulder have Samu in a bit of trouble and he misses a crossbody. A crossbody works a bit better for Perfect (he is perfect after all) and some dropkicks have Samu on the floor, with the fans rather behind Perfect.

Back in and they tease a test of strength until Samu knocks him down to take over for the first time. A toss to the floor lets Afa get in a cheap shot, which has Perfect going after him. Heenan: “Come on Perfect, didn’t I teach you better than that?” Samu gets in a shot of his own, only for Perfect to go after the leg. That doesn’t work either as Samu and Afa both get in their own shots as the slow beating continues.

Samu hits a superkick, some headbutts to the head and a headbutt between the legs. As dull as this match has been, the fans are indeed staying with it so far. Perfect finally fights up and kicks away, only to get hit fairly low to cut off the comeback. A small package gives Perfect two but Samu knocks him outside. Perfect manages a quick crotching on the post to no avail but has to avoid a top rope splash. The PerfectPlex finishes for Perfect at 13:36.

Rating: C-. Thank goodness the fans were there to carry this as far as it got, as there was only so much for the whole thing. Perfect was beaten up here by half of a tag team. What else were you going to expect out of this kind of a setup? It was a match for the sake of letting the fans see Mr. Perfect, but it wasn’t much for anyone outside of the arena.

Hart is listening to Crank It Up (dig that Young Stallions song) and then brags about doing the song for Bret Hart’s next match.

From Barcelona, Spain, April 24, 1993.

Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow powers him around to start and then runs Hart over with a shoulder. Back in and Hart starts in on the arm and drops a leg onto it, allowing commentary to talk about wrestlers taping up fake injuries to trick their opponents. Something close to an elbow sends Bigelow to the floor and Hart gets to pose, which isn’t his style most of the time. This time Bigelow gets smart and rams him into the post, followed by a second shot to keep Hart down.

Back in and Bigelow stomps away as Hart is clearly near total destruction. The bearhug goes on back inside, with Heenan thinking a spinebuster could work well here. Instead it’s a big belly to back suplex for two and it’s off to an over the shoulder backbreaker. Hart slips out and manages his own suplex, which has Heenan losing his mind over Hart pulling that off.

Bigelow is right back up with a nasty butterfly backbreaker, only to miss the top rope headbutt. Hart fights up and hits the usual, setting up a middle rope clothesline. The sharpshooter attempt is broken up so Bigelow tries a bearhug, which is broken up with a bite to the face. Another belly to back attempt is cut off though and Bigelow crashes onto Hart. Back up and a splash misses in the corner, allowing Hart to grab a victory roll for the victory at 11:55.

Rating: B. It might not have been their King Of The Ring final but Hart knows exactly how to do a match like this. As usual, Hart felt like he was getting close to death before pulling off the miracle win in the end. Good stuff here, as Bigelow could do the monster role rather well, especially with this kind of an opponent.

From Paris, France, April 8, 1993.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Wrestlemania rematch. Doink hides underneath the ring to start but gets caught coming back in to to start the beating early. Crush knocks him outside and the chase is on, with Doink’s stomps not having much effect back inside. There’s an atomic drop to make Doink gyrate a bit and a figure four necklock has Doink down even longer.

Crush hits a backbreaker but misses a knee, giving Doink a needed target. The knee is wrapped around the post and Doink slowly stomp away in the corner. Crush finally fights up and knocks him to the floor, setting up the head vice. Doink slips out though and walks away for the countout at 8:15.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match in a series of them. The idea of Doink was that he would play mind games and mess with people but here he was just having a boring match. Also, if you want Crush to be seen as a big deal, maybe don’t have his two matches on the same tape end with the same finish.

Jimmy Hart is impressed by all of the new technology and then talks about Shawn Michaels, who isn’t in the next match.

From Milan, Italy, April 25, 1993.

Scott Steiner vs. IRS

Neither of their partners are here for a change. IRS hides in the ropes to start, which might not be the worst idea. A battle of wrist control sends IRS to the ropes again before he does manage to get in a shot to the head. Steiner is sent outside as JR complains about not being able to find a chicken fried steak last night. Back in and a powerslam into a headlock has IRS in trouble for a change and he bails again as they’re not exactly getting into a higher gear so far.

Back in again and Steiner takes him down by the arm, only for IRS to go outside AGAIN. This time IRS gets back in and they run the ropes a bit until Steiner is sent outside, because Heaven forbid they keep anything going. A ram into the steps keeps Steiner in trouble but he gets his knees up to block a splash. IRS bails into the corner as commentary talks about how we don’t have timeouts here. BECAUSE THIS MATCH HAS BEEN SO ACTION PACKED! Steiner charges into a boot in the corner and gets two with his feet on the ropes. The referee waves that off and Steiner gets a sunset flip for the pin at 10:06.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t so much that it was a bad match but geez this was boring. IRS wasn’t exactly known for keeping the pace up and the stalling did make sense as he was trying to keep Steiner from getting to a higher gear, but that doesn’t make it fun to watch. This tape hasn’t been much to see thus far and this didn’t help at all.

From Milan, Italy, April 25, 1993.

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Mr. Fuji and Paul Bearer are here too. To say they stall for a good while here is an understatement, as Bearer takes nearly two minutes to get out of the ring. They stare each other down and Yokozuna’s shots to the head not doing much. The running DDT plants Yokozuna but he hits a clothesline to put Undertaker on the floor. A ram into the steps staggers Undertaker again and the big leg…does pretty much nothing back inside. Yokozuna hits a clothesline but Undertaker gets back up so it’s a bucket shot to Undertaker’s head for the DQ at 5:42.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness this the perfect way to wrap up this pretty terrible tape. They barely did anything, with over a third of the match being spent on them standing around and staring at each other before any contact. Then they just do another DQ, which is fine for the sake of not wanting Yokozuna to look weak, but GEEZ that’s a lot of non-finishes in one sitting.

Post match Yokozuna misses the Banzai Drop and gets “chokeslammed” (eh fair enough given the size) to send him running.

Hart gives us something of an inspirational message about never giving up and going for your dreams…and then praises Hulk Hogan, even posing to Real American to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, leave it to Hart to have the only good match on a terrible collection of wrestling. I know it’s the European tour so things aren’t going to be up to their usual standards, but sweet goodness this was dull. It’s not a good sign when the second best part of a collection is how odd the arena in Paris looked. Just lame stuff all around and it’s easy to see why 1993 is not the best time the company ever had.

 

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Smack Em Whack Em (2025 Edition): Two Firsts Of Many

Smack Em Whack Em
Date: 1993
Host: Lord Alfred Hayes, Bushwhackers
Commentators: Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon

Ah here we go, as the WWE Vault continues to upload Coliseum Videos, though in this case we have one of the best ever released. There are some classic matches here with a major focus on Bret Hart, who was becoming the new star of the company now that the Hulk Hogan Era was mostly over. This should be a lot of fun so let’s get to it.

Lord Alfred Hayes welcomes us to a house that is needing to be renovated. The people fixing things up: the Bushwhackers, who wack in from off camera, naturally with their music playing. They have been hired to turn this place into the Bushwhackers’ Wrecking Room. The first thing we have to worry about is safety, so they give Hayes some safety glasses and a helmet. And a tool belt. And gloves. And now we’re off to the first match.

From Erie, Pennsylvania, November 23, 1992.

Crush vs. Berzerker

Crush starts fast by ducking a clothesline and hitting a belly to belly suplex. Berzerker is sent outside, followed by a flying shoulder to send him out there again. Back in and Berzerker hammers away, setting up a big boot to put Crush down for a change. This time it’s Crush getting knocked out to the floor, setting up a piledriver for two back inside. Crush’s arms get tied in the ropes so Berzerker kicks away, which wakes Crush up for some reason. A backbreaker and legdrop give Crush two and the head vice finishes Berzerker at 6:17.

Rating: C. They kept this short but it was a way to push Crush forward a bit more as his near mega push was on. You could see what the company saw in him as he had the look and style that had worked for them over the years. That being said, I’m not sure I could have seen him going all the way to the top. Beating monsters like Berzerker is a good way to go, but going beyond that might have been too far.

Back at the house and the Bushwhackers try to install a window but their measurements don’t quite work. Butch’s sledgehammer shots are a few feet low, but they think it’s fine because the dog can use the window.

From Dayton, Ohio, November 24, 1992.

Earthquake vs. Repo Man

Repo moves around to start but for some reason tries a waistlock. An elbow to the face knocks that away and Earthquake runs him over as commentary talks about owing debts on various things. The splash in the corner connects but Repo is back with some right hands and a middle rope clothesline actually puts Earthquake down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Earthquake, who fights up but misses an elbow. Repo takes too long going up though and gets powerslammed, setting up the Earthquake for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a nothing match here, as Repo was a weird choice to face a monster like Earthquake. At the same time, it’s a strange time for Earthquake, as the Natural Disasters were something of a lifeline to him. With Yokozuna coming in though, there wasn’t much of a place for Earthquake and that was becoming fairly obvious with something like this.

The Bushwhackers use a saw on the wood but say that their mother would be proud of them. Then they accidentally cut an electrical wire, but insist on safety first. Hayes is promptly electrocuted, and perhaps killed.

And now, eating for the single man with Yokozuna. He eats a lot and Gene Okerlund is impressed. This goes on for over ten minutes and it’s just him eating. They keep presenting more food to him and he eats it, with Gene trying some. I have no idea what the point of this is, but man he sure does eat a lot.

Now we get to something a lot more fun: a profile on new WWF Champion, Bret Hart. Gorilla Monsoon talks to Bret about some of the matches we’ll be seeing, including some newfangled thing called a ladder match. Bret even thinks that Shawn Michaels might have had secret ladder match experience.

From Portland, Maine, July 21, 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn, with Sister Sherri, is challenging in the first ever (in the WWF at least) ladder match. After the belt is hung, Shawn starts hammering away but gets dropped with a quick clothesline. Bret comes back with some right hands and the always good looking headbutt but Shawn punches him down for a change. As Monsoon LOSES IT over Sherri having a tattoo on her chest, Shawn gets in a knee to the ribs for another knockdown.

That’s enough for the first ladder to be brought in but Bret cuts him off (starting a bit of a weird tradition in ladder matches of NO, I’M BRINGING THE LADDER IN FIRST) and hammers away on the floor. That means it’s time for Sherri to offer a distraction, allowing Shawn to set the ladder up inside. Bret cuts it off again but Shawn cuts him off just as quickly, with the ladder falling down.

Shawn rams the ladder into the ribs but eventually hits the post, forcing him to leave the ladder in the corner. Another knockdown lets Shawn go up and he touches the belt, only to be knocked back down with the ladder falling on him for a nasty crash. This time it’s Shawn knocking Bret off the ladder as the crashes continue to mount up. Bret knocks him off the ladder for no crash, but the ladder being put into the corner can’t go well. The middle rope clothesline puts Shawn down before slingshotting him into the ladder.

It’s too early to get the title though and Bret comes down, possibly twisting his knee in the process. A double down gives them a breather and Sherri is absolutely losing her mind. They both go up and then come crashing down so Sherri grabs Bret’s foot. That lets Shawn hit the superkick and the teardrop suplex before doing the really slow climb. Bret dropkicks the ladder over, sending Shawn crashing hard out to the floor. That’s finally enough for Bret to retain the title at 13:46.

Rating: B. The thing to remember here is that this was the first ladder match in WWF history. No it doesn’t have a bunch of huge spots or really anything else, but it’s not that kind of a match. Instead, this was a match which happened to have a ladder involved rather than a match focusing on a ladder. It helps that Bret and Shawn have great chemistry, which was on display here as they worked the ladder in very well. Good match and it’s a shame that it is so forgotten.

Gorilla talks about Bret defending the title so frequently. This includes a title defense against Kamala, when he was still all evil. Bret knew he had to be a fighting champion and that’s what he was going to do.

From Louisville, Kentucky, October 28, 1992.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Kamala

Kamala, with Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman, is challenging. Bret gives his glasses away as usual before ducking a lockup attempt as we’re over a minute in already. A waistlock doesn’t go so well for Bret as he gets taken into the corner, only to avoid a splash. Another missed charge lets Bret start in on the arm but he has to avoid some falling chops. Kamala has to go to the ropes (with his managers telling him to do it, then telling him he needs to let it go) before offering a test of strength.

Bret (eventually) tries it for some reason but catches the cheap shot, steps on the bare foot, and goes back to the arm. Kamala chops him down though and we hit the bearhug. For some reason that’s dropped in a hurry so Kamala can grab the pectoral claw. That’s broken up and Kamala actually leapfrogs him (COMPLETELY no sold by commentary) but Bret is back with a Russian legsweep. The middle rope clothesline into the middle rope elbow but the managers break up the Sharpshooter attempt. Instead Bret just rolls him up to retain at 8:50.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that shouldn’t have been very good but Bret did what he could to make it work. There was only so much that could be done with someone like Kamala, who was only going to do much. Nice stuff here, with Bret getting a defense against a rather scary looking monster, which often works.

Post match Kamala and the managers go after Bret again but he pulls Wippleman in the way of the splash and clears the ring.

Gorilla and Bret preview the title match against Ric Flair, with Bret saying this was his one chance to get the title and he was winning no matter what. He even sprains his ankle and dislocates a finger early on but kept going anyway. It’s rare to see them giving away the result early but it’s kind of a huge deal.

From Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada, October 12, 1992.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Mr. Perfect, is defending. Commentary makes a big deal about this being the hometown of Bret’s father Stu, just in case this wasn’t a big enough moment. Flair backs him into the corner to start and we get a clean break, plus a WOO for good measure. A headlock to the mat has Bret down but he reverses into a hammerlock, which gets a nice reaction.

Back up and Flair backs him into the corner for a chop as commentary talks about how good a match between Bret and Mr. Perfect would be. You know, like when Bret beat him for the Intercontinental Title and it was great? The threat of a Sharpshooter sends Flair outside and it’s a headlock to slow him down back inside. Bret wins the fight over a top wristlock as they’re firmly in first gear. A wristlock into a hammerlock keeps Flair down but he’s able to punch his way out of a sunset flip attempt.

Bret’s second sunset flip attempt results in Flair’s trunks coming down (of course) so Flair goes to the eyes to calm things down. Bret gets in a shot of his own but it’s way too early to get a Figure Four on Flair. Instead Bret drops some elbows on the leg (Flair: “OH GOD! NO!”) and now the Figure Four can work. After some quick two counts, Flair makes it over to the ropes for the break.

Bret gets two off a backslide before grabbing a sleeper. That’s countered with a belly to back though and they’re both down again. Flair goes after the leg as well and we’re quickly into the Figure Four, which lasts for a good while. Bret finally turns it over so Flair chops away in the corner and kicks away at the leg even more.

Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two but he charges into a boot in the corner. As usual, Flair goes up and gets slammed back down, allowing Bret to grab the Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow and a suplex get two each, followed by a superplex. Bret grabs the Sharpshooter, keeps it on as Perfect gets on the apron, and makes Flair give up for the title at 26:28.

Rating: A-. This was as big of a shocker as you could get as Bret was a strong star but the idea of him winning the title was out of nowhere. It was great to see and came at the end of a very good match, which saw the crowd hanging in there for every second. Bret survived everything that Flair threw at him and then beat him clean with his finisher, which is (albeit about twenty minutes longer) about the same thing that Hulk Hogan did to the Iron Sheik. Heck of a moment here, and it more than holds up. Flair was finishing up and had an ear issue as well, so everything kind of came together and it went about as well as possible.

Gorilla praises Bret, who is ready to be a fighting champion.

We go back to the house (oh yeah that’s a thing), where it’s time to work on the plumbing. Naturally it’s safety first, but then it’ll be time to build a Bushwhackers bathroom. Luke uses a wrench on a pipe and Hayes is quickly soaked. We’ll get away from this too.

From Beaumont, Texas, January 4, 1993.

Undertaker vs. Razor Ramon

Ramon isn’t sure what to do with Undertaker to start so he slugs away, which goes about as well as you would expect. Undertaker comes back but misses the elbow, allowing Ramon to clothesline him to the floor. That earns Ramon a necksnap across the top rope but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope bulldog to really stagger Undertaker for a change.

A chair to the back and a whip into the steps have Undertaker in more trouble and they head back inside. Ramon drops about ten straight elbows, which have Paul Bearer trying to get in for the save. Ramon takes the Urn and clocks Undertaker, who pops up at two and hits a chokeslam. That’s enough for Ramon to run off for the countout at 7:30.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it when they did almost the exact same match (with an identical finishing sequence, even down to the elbows) on Invasion Of The Bodyslammers so this wasn’t much to see. It’s a weird way to go as a final match on the tape after all of the Hart stuff, but this was just disappointing, to the point where I was checking the other tape to make sure it just wasn’t the same match with new commentary. It really shouldn’t be that hard.

Back at the house, the Bushwhackers have a chair set up for Hayes so he can watch his favorite Coliseum Videos at the end of a hard day. This oddly works and Hayes wraps it up. Then the lights go out and the Bushwhackers say OH NO to end the tape.

Overall Rating: B. Why yes, a match with a big focus on Bret Hart as he’s becoming the top hero in the company is worth a look, as the two good matches are REALLY good, with the title change being great. That being said, there isn’t much else to see here, with the main event being flat out lame given that they did pretty much the same match just a few months earlier on another tape. Throw in the Bushwhackers stuff just not being funny and the whole thing was up and down, but dang those ups are worth your time.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 27, 2011 (2025 Edition): Boom

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2011
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s Raw Roulette and that means it is time for things to get a bit gimmicky. There are going to be a variety of special stipulations this week and there is a chance that most of them are going to be less than serious. Yeah I can’t imagine that taking place around here either but let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring Burn It To The Ground by Nickelback. Eh I still like it.

We open with a look at Raw Roulette, which will be hosted by Booker T.

Here is Special Guest Star (not host, because that’s a different thing) Shawn Michaels to get things going. Yes he promised to stay away, but he just couldn’t help himself…and gosh darn it, he missed the people too much. Now everyone who hosts this show has something to plug but that’s not his way. He’s not someone to plug his new show, Macmillan River Adventures, but did you notice his Twitter on the screen?

Cue CM Punk with the Tag Team Champions the New Nexus to interrupt. Punk talks about how he’s going to be leaving in July, just as WWE Champion. Michaels likes the idea of Punk leaving but Punk mocks Michaels for losing to Undertaker last year at Wrestlemania. Punk brags about being ready to beat John Cena, though Michaels says they’re cheering him over Punk because they know he’s better. Punk: “You were.”

Punk thinks that sounds like a challenge but Michaels says they have nothing in common. Michaels: “I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs.” Punk: “Anymore.” Michaels: “Fair enough.” Then Michaels superkicks David Otunga but we get an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager, with Punk getting the first match tonight. He wants it to be with Michaels but we get a spin of the wheel, which earns him a mystery opponent. Then Booker T. says it’s Kane, which isn’t much of a mystery. Michaels superkicks Michael McGillicutty and wishes Punk luck.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Kane wastes no time in knocking him down and sending things outside, setting up a basement dropkick for two back inside. The side slam gets two but Punk manages a neck snap across the top rope for a needed breather. A kick to the head rocks Kane again and Punk gets to drive in some knees in the corner. Kane fights back and knocks Punk down again, which is enough for Punk to walk out at 3:39. As Cole points out, Punk shouldn’t care as he’s already the #1 contender, which does make sense.

Rating: C. This was more of an angle than a match and that’s not a bad thing. As commentary pointed out, what does Punk have to gain by fighting Kane in a long match here when he has a huge match coming up in less than a month? It’s not the best way to start out a night of gimmick matches as there wasn’t much of a gimmick, but at least they did something logical. At least by wrestling standards.

We get an ad for WWE Poker. I won $10 on there.

Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne

The bell rings and we get another spin of the wheel, as done by Eve Torres for fairly apparent reasons: No Countout. This isn’t the best start, but at least the bell rings again rather than adding time for the spin. They fight over wrist control to start and Cara wristdrags him out to the floor. A baseball slide misses and Bourne takes him down back inside.

Bourne gets sent outside again though and this time the dive connects. Cara’s spinning sideslam is countered into a headscissors and they trade some rollups for two each back inside. A springboard corkscrew dive gives Cara two, with Bourne coming back with a standing moonsault for the same. Air Bourne misses though and Cara hits La Mistica for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: B-. It was a good, fast paced match with a bunch of dives, but the No Countout thing added pretty much nothing as they weren’t even outside long enough for a countout. Cara is one of those incredible “what if” cases as he was a mega star before coming to WWE and then did it again after he left. It never clicked in WWE though and the weird yellow lighting wasn’t helping anything.

Kofi Kingston gets to spin the wheel for his match against Dolph Ziggler, but here is Vickie Guerrero to spin instead. It’s Player’s Choice, with Kofi getting the pick. He’ll go with Vickie being banned from ringside, as this isn’t the most thrilling selection of matches so far.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler’s US Title isn’t on the line. Vickie handles Ziggler’s introduction and this was during his short hair phase, which really did not work in the slightest. Kingston knocks him to the floor to start and then does it again, this time for a slam on the outside. Ziggler gets in a posting though and we take an early break. Back with Kingston fighting out of a chinlock but missing a Stinger Splash, allowing Ziggler to hit a Fameasser for two. Kingston fights up again and hits a quick Trouble In Paradise for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: C+. These two fought roughly 183,485 times over the years and this was just another in their endless series. As usual, a reigning champion loses clean, though in this case it likely sets up another title match between the two of them. Also as usual, the stipulation meant pretty much nothing here, as Vickie just left instead of being there to cheat for Ziggler. It gives the idea that Kingston can beat Ziggler clean, but they could have had a better stipulation than this.

Booker, with Maryse, recaps the night when Alberto Del Rio comes in to complain about having to face Big Show again. Del Rio hits on Maryse, who spins the wheel for him and gets a cage match, which ends the flirting.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

In a cage. Del Rio tries to escape to start and gets chopped down just as fast. Some kicks to Show’s bad knee give Del Rio two and he cranks on said knee in a smart move. Cue Mark Henry (feuding with Show) to watch from ringside but Show catches Del Rio going up for a superplex. Then Henry pulls the cage door off and throws it inside, with Del Rio escaping at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but again the point was advancing the story rather than anything about the match itself. Del Rio escaped rather than win here, which doesn’t make for the best match. Show vs. Henry will be a good battle of the monsters when we get there, though it didn’t exactly make for the best use of something like a cage.

Post match Henry hits Show with the door, knocking him through the wall for a huge crash. That always looks cool and was another step in Henry’s path to the World Title in a few months.

Cole and Lawler recap the Show vs. Henry feud, which seems like something that would have been better suited before the whole thing started.

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Kelly’s Divas Title (which she won from Brie Bella last week) isn’t on the line. The wheel makes this…a submission match, with Brie at ringside. That’s quite the choice. The submission deal, though Brie is quite the choice as well. Nikki takes her down by the arm to start and grabs a Fujiwara armbar of all things. Kelly reverses that into a Boston crab and Nikki taps at 1:13.

Post match Brie jumps Kelly but Eve Torres makes the save.

We look at Andy Leavine winning Tough Enough. He never went anywhere at all in WWE.

Rey Mysterio gets a tornado tag match but here is Diamond Dallas Page to come in and plug the new Monday Nitro DVD. A rather young looking Drew McIntyre comes in to say the two of them need to leave in ten minutes or else. Then Shawn Michaels superkicks McIntyre and talks about everything the DVD…which he has never seen.

The Miz/Jack Swagger vs. Alex Riley/Rey Mysterio

Tornado Tag. Swagger takes over on Mysterio to start and hits a quick backbreaker as Miz kicks Riley down on the floor. The Vader Bomb gets two on Mysterio but Riley sends Swagger outside for a seated senton from the apron. Mysterio gets sent into the post but Riley fights back on both of them. That’s broken up and a gorilla press gutbuster gets two on Mysterio.

Back up and Riley backdrops Swagger out to the floor, leaving Mysterio to kick Miz in the head for two. Swagger breaks up the 619 though, leaving Riley to get double teamed. Riley manages a Cactus Clothesline to take Miz outside and breaks up the ankle lock on Mysterio. That means a 619 into Riley’s implant DDT into Mysterio’s top rope splash for the pin at 11:58.

Rating: B-. It was nice to see a match get some time here with the stipulation actually having an impact. That really hasn’t been the case on the whole show and it helped out quite a bit here. Riley is one of those cases where he could have been a bigger deal but it just never came together for one reason or another, which is quite the shame.

R-Truth talks to Little Jimmy and gets a tables match with John Cena. Booker leaves out of fear.

John Cena vs. R-Truth

Cena’s Raw World Title isn’t on the line and R-Truth doesn’t have any music as he’s rather crazy (work with me here) at the moment. R-Truth hammers away to start and actually takes over in the corner but Cena fights back with a release fisherman’s suplex. Back up and Cena gets sent through the ropes for a crash, allowing R-Truth to crank away on both arms.

A dropkick puts R-Truth down but he slips out of the AA and hits his suplex Stunner. That means it’s time to put a table in the corner, only for Cena to get in a suplex for a breather. They go to the floor with R-Truth being sent into the steps so Cena can get another table. Cue CM Punk to move the table though, allowing R-Truth to spear Cena through another table for the win at 5:12.

Rating: C. Cena really doesn’t have the best luck in tables matches, which is kind of the point of the thing. They let him lose a match without taking a pin or giving up and that’s the entire point. Punk cost him a win here and that helps set up their title match at Money In The Bank, though the match is going to need a bit more than that.

With that out of the way, R-Truth leaves and Punk, who is wearing a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt, grabs the microphone and sits down on the stage. Punk says that he hopes Cena is as uncomfortable as possible but before he leaves in three weeks with the WWE Title, he has a lot to get off his chest. He doesn’t hate Cena nearly as much as he hates some of the people backstage, but he hates this idea that Cena is the best in the world.

The reality is that Cena is the best in the world at kissing Vince McMahon’s a**. Cena might be as good at it as Hulk Hogan but maybe not as good as Dwayne. Punk: “Oops, I’m breaking the fourth wall.” Punk talks about being the best in the world since he got here, because Paul Heyman saw something in him. Punk: “Yeah I’m a Paul Heyman guy.” So was Brock Lesnar and Punk is leaving just like Lesnar, but Punk is doing it as WWE Champion.

Punk has grabbed so many imaginary brass rings that he has finally realized they are just that: imaginary. In six years, he has realized that the only thing that is real is him and he is the best around, but he isn’t on the cups or on the programs or on some bad USA Network show. He should be on Conan O’Brien or Jimmy Fallon but the fact that the Rock is in the main event of Wrestlemania next year makes him sick.

Those of you cheering him right now are a big part of the reason he’s leaving, because they’re buying all that stuff that he isn’t on, then they want him to sign it at the airport so they can sell it on eBay. He’ll win the WWE Title and maybe he’ll defend it in New Japan or go to Ring Of Honor. Punk: “Hey Colt Cabana, how you doing?”

Punk talks about how Vince McMahon is a millionaire rather than a billionaire because of people like John Laurinaitis. Maybe it will be better when Vince is dead, but his stupid daughter and his doofus son-in-law. Punk goes to tell us a personal story about Vince and bullying….but his mic cuts out. Punk yells at the camera to end the show.

I’ve been thinking about this one for a bit now that it’s over and I’m not sure where to start. In the nearly fourteen years since this took place, the promo has taken on a life of its own and turned Punk from a star into a Star in just a few minutes. Actually that’s one of the things that might stand out the most: this whole thing was just over six minutes long. In the days of the monologue style promos and seemingly endless exchanges between top names, seeing something have this kind of an impact in such a short time is remarkable.

Is it really that great of a promo? Kind of, but a lot of that is due to the way Punk was saying it. This felt like he meant every single word that he was saying and it made the fans hang on every word he was saying. Punk was talking about some fairly inside baseball things here and it was going in a direction that you don’t often see with wrestling. I’m not sure how great it was from a quality standpoint, but it certainly got and kept the fans’ attention.

With that being said, this is one of the most legendary promos in the history of WWE, and wrestling as a whole, for a reason. It was the suggestion that something was going to be changing, as you did not see anyone call out a bunch of these beyond the fourth wall issues. Punk got to open up and show that he’s one of the best talkers of all time, which had been kind of known before this, albeit not to this extent. It had people talking and while that only led to so much of a financial impact on the title match with Cena, Punk has lived off of this for a LONG time, despite him not even having the microphone for that long.

Overall Rating: D+. Well thank goodness Punk cut one of the most famous promos of all time and stole the night because this show was HORRIBLE otherwise. The rest of this show was a bunch of gimmicks for the sake of adding something to matches which didn’t make anything better. There is nothing to see here (save for the last seven minutes or so) and my goodness it is quite the mess, which is partially why Punk’s promo meant so much. Fans were wanting something, or really ANYTHING else and Punk was seemingly offering that. It only kind of worked, but wow what a start he really had with this all timer.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Evolve – March 5, 2025 (Series Premiere): The New Form

Evolve
Date: March 5, 2025
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Peter Rosenburg, Robert Stone

So here we have the debut of a new weekly series and I’m not quite sure what to expect. The show is kind of a souped up version of NXT LVL Up, though this one seems likely to have more storylines and character development rather than just match after match after match. That could be a good thing to see so let’s get to it.

Shawn Michaels joins NXT GM Ava to address the roster. They are here to show the world that wrestling evolves and for one night only, he is here to make the matches. We go over the card and with that out of the way, we’re ready to go.

Kali Armstrong/Dani Palmer vs. Carlee Bright/Kendal Grey

Grey and Bright are really athletic and regular friends, but they don’t have a ton of success. Commentary points out that Armstrong and Palmer don’t have much in common but they are both former NCAA athletes. Armstrong powers Grey into the back to start and puts her on top for a pat to the head.

Palmer tags herself in, which doesn’t work well for Armstrong, even as Grey works on Palmer’s arm. It’s off to bright, who gets armbarred down but she comes out with a headscissors. A basement crossbody gives Palmer two as we get some mini bio graphics in the corner for a very nice touch. Bright is back up with a headscissors so Armstrong tags herself back in, where she is armbarred down as well.

Armstrong reverses into an armbar of her own and cranks away until Bright dropkicks her way out. For some reason Grey doesn’t want to tag in before coming in and working on her own armbar. Bright comes back in for ANOTHER armbar as this is somehow less interesting than it sounds. Armstrong powers out and yells into the camera about how she’s going to win the first match on the show.

We take a break and come back with Palmer coming in but having her standing moonsault hitting raised knees. Grey comes back in and starts cleaning house, only for Armstrong to hit a running powerslam for two. Armstrong gets superplexed but Grey stays down, allowing Palmer to hit a heck of a frog splash for two, with Bright making what looked to be a late save (though Grey kicked out in time on her own).

Palmer’s Sliced Bread is broken up and Grey hits a hard spear for two, with Armstrong making the save this time. With everyone else on the floor, Palmer goes up for a corkscrew dive but hits Armstrong by mistake. Back in and Grey cross armbreakers Palmer for the win at 12:10.

Rating: C. This was WAY longer than it needed to be given the amount of armbars in there. On top of that, they were playing up the idea that Bright and Grey didn’t know each other very well, which is weird as they were friends and partners for a long time in LVL Up. Palmer got to show her athleticism and Armstrong had some good charisma, but the match just wasn’t that interesting and that’s a problem.

Post match Bright is winded but she’s excited. Grey is a bit less enthused and she wants to be remembered for dominating the division. The team’s future might not be so strong.

We look back at the original Evolve, including names such as Cody Rhodes, Gunther (well, Walter at the time), Drew McIntyre and many, many more.

We meet Jackson Drake, Brad Baylor and Ricky Smokes, who will be in tonight’s main event. Baylor and Smokes are apparently known as Swipe Right and they are ready to win in their first match. Smokes is more interested in the women outside the ring and is told to focus a bit more. This is already more character development than we got in several months of LVL Up.

Luca Crusifino and It’s Gal are in the VIP section.

Sean Legacy, Cappuccino Jones and Jack Cartwheel (the other half of the main event)

Keanu Carver grew up without a father and he learned to fight as a result. He’ll fight anyone he has to in order to move forward.

Trill London is from New York and likes to be different, from how he looks to how he acts.

Keanu Carver vs. Trill London

London used to play for the Miami Dolphins and was influenced by Jeff Hardy. Carver runs him over to start and sends him flying with a fall away slam. A Pounce sends London flying and a Sky High finishes him at 1:39. Total squash.

Luca Crusifino is here as a representative of the D’Angelo Family and he runs things on Evolve. These young stars are good, but they haven’t faced a heavy hitter like him.

We meet some more names who will be debuting soon, some of which were regulars on LVL Up.

Sean Legacy/Cappuccino Jones/Jack Cartwheel vs. Jackson Drake/Brad Baylor/Ricky Stokes

The fans tell Swipe Right to SWIPE LEFT, which I guess counts as a burn. Smokes (thankfully with his initials on his tights) takes Jones down to start and it’s off to Legacy, who gives Drake a release gordbuster. A standing moonsault gives Legacy two and it’s off to Cartwheel for an anklescissors into a dropkick.

Everything breaks down and we get the six way showdown before Jones gets to clean house. A clothesline puts him on the floor though and Baylor hits another back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Drake’s fisherman’s suplex gets two. Jones finally dives over for the tag to Cartwheel and the pace picks way up. Cartwheel sweeps the leg and hits a slingshot elbow, followed by a triple dive to take the villains out.

We take a break and come back with Drake hitting a heck of a gutbuster for two on Cartwheel. Swipe Right double suplexes Cartwheel for two and the chinlock goes on again. An assisted neckbreaker gets two more on Cartwheel but he tornado DDTs his way out of trouble. The diving tag brings in Legacy to clean house, including the AJ Styles moonsault reverse DDT on Drake. Back up and Drake hits a running knee to the head but Jones makes a save.

Jones grabs a flipping neckbreaker (Decaffinator) on Drake and a Froggy Bow gets two as Baylor makes the save. Baylor gives Legacy a spinning double butterfly suplex but Cartwheel is back with a crucifix driver. Smokes double stomps Cartwheel but Legacy is back in with a springboard double dropkick. A torture rack flipped into a swinging neckbreaker (or something close, though it’s called the Shambles) gives Legacy the pin on Baylor at 11:58.

Rating: B-. This was described as a showcase match for the ID Program (which they never actually explained) and it worked out pretty well. You had a bunch of people getting some ring time and it was nice to see them getting more than a minute or two each. It’s not a great match or anything, but it did just fine all things considered, with Legacy and Drake standing out a bit more than the others.

Post match Kali Armstrong comes out yelling about how she didn’t lose and needs her match.

Shawn Michaels puts the show in Ava’s hands and she has ideas for next week.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a show where you need to consider what it is supposed to be. The show isn’t designed to be anything more than a way for these younger stars to get their feet wet and it’s already doing better than LVL Up, which was about half of the length. At some point you need to get people in the ring and let them show what they can do. That’s what this show is offering and the action was acceptable enough. Get some more stories and angles in there (which you can’t get right off the bat) and the show would be more entertaining. For now though, not a bad way to get things started.

Results
Kendal Grey/Carlee Bright b. Kali Armstrong/Dani Palmer – Cross armbreaker to Palmer
Keanu Carver b. Trill London – Sky High
Sean Legacy/Cappuccino Jones/Jack Cartwheel b. Ricky Smokes/Brad Baylor/Jackson Drake – Shambles to Baylor

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2009 (2025 Edition): What A Difference A Long Time Makes

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

It’s another show posted to the WWE Vault and that means it is worth a look. The big feud on Raw is HHH vs. Randy Orton and his Legacy stable and that means it is time for a showdown in the Rumble. Other than that, Edge is trying to get the Smackdown World Title back from Jeff Hardy. Let’s get to it.

We’re in Detroit so naturally there is a car theme.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Hardy backs him into the corner as Striker explains what you need to do to win a title in WWE. Good information but Striker manages to sound annoying no matter what. They head outside with Hardy hitting a hard right hand, followed by a clothesline back inside.

We settle down to Swagger easily wrestling him to the mat, followed by a Gator Roll into a hammerlock. That’s broken up and Hardy grabs his running bulldog out of the corner for two. Swagger runs him over again though and we’re right back to cranking on the arm. A clothesline is blocked and Swagger kicks the bad arm (that’s smart) for two before working on it again.

Back up and Hardy gets smart by using the good arm for a clothesline. Another corner clothesline and bulldog get two on Swagger, setting up the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck for the same. Swagger goes after the arm again and takes Hardy up top, only to get knocked backwards for a not very elevated moonsault to give Hardy two. Back up and the Twist Of Fate is blocked, with Hardy being sent shoulder first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title at 10:28.

Rating: B-. The match was good enough but Swagger really isn’t that interesting. He’s a bigger guy and the Swagger Bomb looked good, but that’s about all he had going for him a lot of the time. Hardy was dropping back down the card and having Swagger beat him here wasn’t exactly a great sign for his career.

Hardy gets a slow walk out and sits on the steps. What a mopey Matt.

Randy Orton arrived earlier today and people weren’t exactly happy with him. He’s rather violent you see.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Phoenix is defending and has Santino Marella with her. Melina gets thrown down a few times to start so she tries striking away. That earns her another knockdown, only for Melina to start working on the arm. Phoenix isn’t having that and powers her up into the air for a drop onto the turnbuckle.

Something like an ankle lock works on Melina’s recent injury, but Phoenix cranks on it so hard that she makes Melina kick herself in the back of the head (that’s rather nuts when you think about it). With that broken up (and probably some leg issues), Melina fights out and gets two off a sunset flip, followed by…I’m not sure what happened but it looked like Melina dove into an atomic drop. Back up and Phoenix seems to try the Glam Slam but gets reversed into a cradle for the pin to make Melina champion at 5:57.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than what you would see from a lot of the women’s division around this point and that shouldn’t be a surprise. That being said, the only thing that really stood out here was Melina kicking herself in the back of the head (not something you often say). Good enough match here, but the women’s division was only starting to get it together again.

We recap JBL challenging John Cena for the Raw world Title. JBL wants the title and, because the economy was a big issue at this point, Shawn Michaels is broke and working for JBL as a result. Basically JBL is offering to pay off Michaels’ debts in exchange for helping him win the title. Michaels hates everything he has to do at the moment but does it because he has no other choice. As usual, JBL is only so interesting and is more surrounded by interesting people than anything else.

JBL tells Michaels that if he wins the title tonight, he’ll pay Michaels off in full and their arrangement is over. Then JBL leaves and Michaels runs into the Undertaker, who says it can be H*** getting to Heaven. And there’s your tease for the Wrestlemania masterpiece.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and has Shawn Michaels in his corner. As usual, Cena just looks weird with the Big Gold Belt. Cena headlocks him down to start but JBL reverses into one of his own as they’re starting fairly slowly. Back up and Cena elbows him for two, with JBL bailing to the floor for a chat with Michaels. Cena grabs a bulldog into the Throwback for two and they go outside, where JBL sends him into the steps for two back inside.

The pace slows WAY down (shocking I know) and JBL grabs a chinlock, followed by a side slam for two. Cena gets knocked outside for a whip into the barricade as JBL on offense continues to just kill any match. A superplex is broken up and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser for two as the comeback is on. The AA is broken up so Cena pulls him into the STF, leaving Michaels looking….we’ll go with sleepy.

Michaels touches the ropes so Cena lets it go, only to be kicked out to the floor for a crash. Back in and the Clothesline From JBL gets two but the referee gets bumped (it was a matter of time). Michaels gets in, superkicks JBL, stares a lot, and then superkicks Cena as well. He puts JBL on Cena and goes to leave, seemingly disgusted with himself. Another referee runs in to count two so Cena gets up and hits the AA to retain at 15:28.

Rating: C-. This is a case where the story works well on paper, but it’s just not that interesting. A good bit of that hangs on JBL, who could talk well enough and played an effective role, but he could not hang in the ring. The Michaels part was basically kicking the story to the next month and that’s only so good. Not much to see here, as even with Michaels, JBL felt like more of an annoyance to Cena than any kind of a threat.

We recap Jeff Hardy defending the Smackdown World Title against Edge. Hardy beat Edge (and HHH) at Armageddon back in December for one of the best feel good moments you’ll ever see in WWE. Then bad things started happening to Hardy, from someone nearly running him off the road to pyro burning his face. Someone is out to get Hardy, who thinks that Edge attacked him before Hardy’s title shot at Survivor Series, while Edge wants to prove that Hardy’s win was a fluke by taking the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending and looks like the kid who got an ugly sweater at Christmas. Before the match, Vickie Guerrero comes out to make it No DQ and Edge has Chavo Guerrero with him. Hardy drives Edge into the corner to start and stomps away, followed by a running forearm. Edge bails out to the floor so Hardy gives chase, only to grab a chair rather than go in unarmed. This takes a bit too long though and Edge kicks him down, which isn’t a huge surprise given how long Hardy took.

That’s shrugged off and Hardy hits a basement dropkick before sending Edge outside for a big dive. Back in and Edge boots him in the face to break up a springboard and Hardy crashes out to the floor. Hardy gets sent into various things, including all three announcers’ tables, before getting kicked down back inside. A waistlock works on Hardy’s ribs and Edge pulls him down by the hair to cut off a comeback.

Edge gets frustrated so he tries a chair of his own but Hardy hits a running shoulder to knock him off the apron. That means a slingshot dive and they fight to the apron, where Hardy drops him again. Since it’s Hardy vs. Edge, Hardy pulls out a ladder and goes up but has to deal with Chavo. Hardy knocks him off the ladder and hits a dive before posting Edge, who has a piece of paper stuck to his back for some reason.

Ever the genius, Hardy hits a dive off the ladder to put Chavo through the announcers’ table (with the ladder slipping out from underneath him as he jumped for a scary near miss). Back in and Hardy gets two off a high crossbody but Edge boots him in the face for a double down. It’s time to take off a turnbuckle pad, which is enough of a delay for Hardy to hit a Whisper In The Wind for two more.

The back and forth continues with an implant DDT to give Edge another near fall. Hardy is back up with the sitout gordbuster, only to be dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Instead of countering, Edge tries the spear, which is countered into a Twist Of Fate. Cue Vickie to break up the Swanton but Hardy hits it anyway, only for Vickie to pull the referee. Cue Matt Hardy with a chair to cut Vickie off…and then chair Jeff down with a nasty shot to the head. Edge is stunned as he gets the pin and the title back at 19:24.

Rating: B. These two work well together but Jeff couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any more than when he came to the ring looking all upset. Matt’s turn at the end was a surprise way to go, even after the bit of a tease earlier in the night. Jeff fighting off the odds worked well enough, but at the same time he was going move for move with Edge and that part was even better. It was a good match and felt big, but the title change didn’t come off quite as big as the swerve.

We get the series of replays and rather sad voices from the announcers after the big betrayal. For once, they feel mostly earned.

Rumble By The Numbers!

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors

36 people that Steve Austin eliminated

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

1 woman ever to enter, with Chyna

62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted in 1989

3 times that Austin won, the most ever

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30. As usual, only Shawn Michaels is mentioned as a winner from that spot

27, which has had 4 winners (John Studd in 1989, Yokozuna in 1993, Bret Hart in 1994, Steve Austin in 2001)

70% of winners who have gone on to win the World Title since 1993.

Some of these have of course been broken since, but dang this works every time.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rey Mysterio is in at #1 and John Morrison is in at #2. Mysterio starts fast by sliding between Morrison’s legs and kicking him in the face but gets sent to the apron rather early. It’s way too early for that so Mysterio is back in with a springboard high crossbody into a rather spinny headscissors. Morrison manages to hang onto the top even through a dropkick and it’s Carlito in at #3.

The apple goes into Morrison’s face and a swinging neckbreaker drops Mysterio. Carlito’s double springboard moonsault hits Morrison and he stomps away in the corner until MVP is in at #4. MVP gets to fire off some shots, including the running boot in the corner, but Mysterio grabs a headscissors to slow him down. Great Khali is in at #5 though and everyone gets focused. They also get beaten up, with Mysterio’s springboard dropkick barely staggering Khali and the Backstabber not working at all. Everyone is down with no one out as Vladimir Kozlov in at #6.

Kozlov goes after Khali and eliminates him without much trouble (that’s fairly impressive) before dumping MVP as well. A spinebuster puts Carlito down and that’s enough to toss him out too. Mysterio strikes away at Kozlov until a headbutt cuts him off but HHH is in at #7 to make things more serious. Some right hands and the facebuster are enough to get rid of Kozlov and things slow down.

Randy Orton is in at #8 and immediately hits the backbreaker on HHH but the RKO is blocked. Morrison breaks up the Pedigree and Mysterio gives Orton a springboard seated senton. There’s a 619 to Morrison as…JTG of Cryme Tyme (who wins a coin toss with Shad Gaspard, naturally with a double sided coin) is in at #9. That goes nowhere so it’s Ted DiBiase Jr. (part of Orton’s Legacy group) in at #10, giving us Mysterio, Morrison, HHH, Orton, JTG and DiBiase.

Morrison and JTG are sent over the top but both hang on and kick away at each other before getting back in. Mysterio has to hang on as well and can’t quite get rid of DiBiase at the same time. Chris Jericho is in at #11 and still has a lot of pyro. Jericho goes right after Orton but switches to HHH, who blocks a questionable Walls attempt. Things slow down a lot until Mike Knox is in at #12.

Knox goes after Mysterio, who he disliked because Knox is a monster. Legacy goes after JTG in a bit of an odd move and it’s the Miz in at #13. Miz and Morrison can’t do much with Orton, who snaps off a string of RKO’s. The Pedigree cuts Orton off though and HHH gets rid of Miz and Morrison at the same time. Finlay, with Hornswoggle, is in at #14 as Mysterio is thrown over the top but lands on Miz and Morrison to save himself in a nice sequence. The brawling goes on around the ring until Cody Rhodes is in at #15 to complete Legacy.

Mysterio tries a springboard at Orton, who RKO’s him out of the air in another sweet visual. Undertaker is in at #16 and the match stops with everyone forming a line to go after him. House is cleaned but only JTG is tossed out, which doesn’t feel overly important. The Snake Eyes/big boot combination hits Rhodes, and speaking of Rhodes, Goldust is in at #17. Goldust slugs away at Rhodes but walks into the RKO, which lets Orton give Rhodes a bit of a lesson. Rhodes throws Goldust out and it’s CM Punk in at #18.

Punk gets to strike away as we hear about some of his career accomplishments. HHH’s Pedigree is countered into the Go To Sleep and Mark Henry is in at #19 as the ring is way too full. A World’s Strongest Slam hits HHH and Shelton Benjamin is in at #20. That gives us Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Henry and Benjamin for a lot of star power but way too many people overall.

Benjamin hits Paydirt on Finlay before running the corner for a double super Paydirt to Jericho and Punk. The Dragon Whip hits Henry as Benjamin is getting in a heck of a run here. William Regal is in at #21 and goes after Punk before Mysterio low bridges Henry out. Kofi Kingston, still Jamaican, is in at #22 and starts striking away, including the Boom Drop to Knox. Benjamin dives at Undertaker in the corner, who kind of spinebusters him down and then tosses him out in a heap.

Mysterio is hanging upside down on the post as Kane is in at #23. Kane goes after DiBiase but stops to stare at the bloody Undertaker. The double chokeslam plants DiBiase and solo versions take down Kingston and Jericho. Regal is tossed by Punk and R-Truth is in at #24. Kane is sent to the apron but manages to hang on, with Legacy just kind of letting him go in a not so bright move.

Rob Van Dam returns in a surprise at #25 and comes in with a top rope kick to Kane. Van Dam fires off a bunch of clotheslines until Brian Kendrick is in at #26. Kendrick gets rid of Kingston, who didn’t have the fancy saves for a few more years. HHH tosses Kendrick and does his staggering around thing. Dolph Ziggler (still relatively new) gets lucky #27 and is tossed out almost immediately by Kane. Rhodes gives Punk an electric chair drop as we get another slow down.

Santino Marella is in at #28 and is clotheslined out by Kane in one second to break the Warlord’s record. Jericho hammers on Undertaker in the corner and…actually doesn’t get Last Rided for a change. Only in the Rumble. Kane can’t quite get rid of HHH as Jim Duggan is in at #29. The big AMERICAN right hands stagger various people to quite the reaction and it’s Big Show in at #30. That gives us a field of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, Van Dam, Duggan and Show for quite the final grouping.

Kane goes after Show but can’t get very far, leaving Show to eliminate Duggan. Show throws out R-Truth as well but Undertaker can’t do the same to Rhodes. Punk saves himself and strikes away at Show, who still can’t get rid of him. The WMD is enough to knock Punk out though and things are finally/thankfully thinning out a bit. Knox and Mysterio (that’s not much after being in there for so long) are put out at the same time as Hornswoggle comes in for some reason.

Finlay breaks that up but gets thrown out by Kane to get us down to nine. Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the hanging DDT on HHH. Lawler: “This will be worse than being eliminated!” No King, it won’t be. Undertaker wins a slugout with Show and Van Dam hits the Five Star on Orton, only to get tossed by Jericho. Undertaker tosses Jericho and we’re down to Undertaker, Kane, Show, Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes and HHH.

Legacy gets rid of Kane and everyone goes to a corner. A triple team on Undertaker doesn’t work for Legacy, who starts snapping off chokeslams. Undertaker and Show slug it out again until Undertaker kicks him out to the apron. Show gets tossed but pulls Undertaker out with him, setting up yet another feud between these two.

Undertaker and Show brawl into the crowd as it’s down to HHH and Legacy. The trio surrounds HHH, who fires a crotch chop and starts swinging, which doesn’t last long before the beatdown is on. HHH fights out and hits a facebuster and hits a Pedigree on Rhodes. DiBiase is tossed and so is Rhodes, only for Orton to dump HHH for the win at 58:39.

Rating: B-. I haven’t watched this one in a long time and I had a good time with most of it, even with the ring being too full near the end. There is a lot of star power here and most of the deadwood didn’t stay around too long. There were a few good surprises (Van Dam was great) and while HHH and Orton were the only viable options, it felt like there was other stuff going on rather than just waiting around for them to win. Good Rumble here and a nice one to visit after a long time away.

Overall Rating: B. As usual, the Rumble is going to carry the weight of this show because it takes up so much time. That made for a good show this time as the Rumble worked well enough, with the rest of the show supporting it. Well most of it as Cena vs. JBL just did not work very well, but everything else was perfectly fine at worst. It’s a good overall show, especially coming into it completely fresh.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: B-

GEEZ did I just hate Orton when I watched this the first two times? I was surprised to see that I had been consistent in my pretty strong dislike of the Rumble the first two times as it might not be a classic but it’s certainly not a D. The rest of the show mostly lines up, save for the women’s match which was really just ok more than anything else.

 

 

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WWE Vault: One Sided Beatdowns: Oh I Loved This

One-Sided Beatdowns
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Paul E. Dangerously, Lance Russell, Joey Styles, Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette, Tony Schiavone, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Kevin Sullivan, Tommy Dreamer, Todd Grisham

So this is something that WWE put together on the Vault, which is basically a 40 minute collection of squash matches. That is the kind of thing which can make for some fun violence, as some of those squashed can be all kinds of entertaining. I’m going into this mostly blind so this should be good. Let’s get to it.

Little bit of a weird thing here: on YouTube, the identifications on some of the matches are all over the place, with Big E. being listed instead of Sid Vicious, a match with Bayley on commentary listing her in the match and some other names being nowhere near close. No idea what’s up with that.

From Monday Night Raw, December 10, 2001.

Hardcore Title: Undertaker vs. Spike Dudley

Undertaker is defending and Spike throws in a bunch of weapons before the bell, with Undertaker swatting a trashcan out of the air. Undertaker doesn’t care so Spike goes and sits on his motorcycle, which is enough to start the destruction. The beating begins on the floor and Spike is thrown inside for a hard right to the head.

Spike is tied in the Tree of Woe (which Lawler seems to have never heard of before) but he gets out for a low blow. Some trashcan lids to the head just annoy Undertaker, who smashes him in the head with the same lid. Undertaker drives a forearm over Spike’s face and the Last Ride onto a trashcan retains at 2:36. This wasn’t quite one sided but ticked off Undertaker can be most enjoyable.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams him over the top and out to the floor (OUCH).

From WCW Main Event, August 27, 1989.

Sid Vicious vs. Lee Scott

Sid hits a big clothesline and the fans are just going nuts for him. A gorilla press to the floor lets Sid throw him back inside. The helicopter slam sets up the powerbomb to complete the destruction at 1:30. This was GREAT as Sid absolutely massacred him.

From ECW On Sci Fi, August 1, 2006.

Kurt Angle vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Commentary doesn’t think much of Brawler’s chances. The ankle lock sends Brawler straight to the ropes to start so Angle beats him up there instead. A headbutt and ankle lock finish Brawler at 1:10.

From Monday Night Raw, June 19, 1995.

Shawn Michaels vs. Gus Kantarrakis

The name graphic has two R’s in the latter’s name but everything else I can find shows just one. Not a good sign when even the company can’t bother getting your name right. Michaels shoulders him down to start and runs the ropes…but has to stop and pick him up. They get back up and Michaels hits another shoulder so he can ride on Gus’ back for the comedy.

Michaels gets Gus to chase him on the floor and then has a seat in the front row. Gus’ cheap shot doesn’t work as commentary ignores the match to talk about celebrity news. Back in and Gus manages a right hand to the ribs and slows Michaels down but he easily sends Gus outside. A suplex on the floor has Gus in more trouble and the superkick knocks him silly out there as well. Back in and the fans want it one more time so Michaels basically Weekend At Bernie’s him into another superkick for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C. Gus was another level of useless here as he had a weird look and Michaels was almost wrestling himself at times. That being said, this was the goofy Michaels who felt like a star no matter what he was doing and there was no way to avoid putting the title on him next year.

From WCW TV, May 10, 1986.

Midnight Express vs. Mulkey Brothers

Naturally Jim Cornette is here with the Express and even jumps on commentary. Condrey backdrops Randy to start as Cornette says tomorrow is Mother’s Day so he loves Mama Cornette…and wants his allowance. Randy is taken outside and suplexed onto the concrete before Bill comes in, only to be tossed outside as well. Back in and Bill’s face is rubbed into the mat as Cornette calls out Dusty Rhodes and Magnum TA.

A belly to back superplex plants Bill again as Cornette WILL NOT SHUT UP, which is what made him a legend. Bill is sent hard into the corner and a butterfly suplex gives Eaton one, as he pulls Bill up over and over. Randy comes in and actually scores with some punches to Condrey, who suplexes him right back down. A good looking top rope elbow hits Randy and Condrey finally finishes with what would be better known as the Skull Crushing Finale at 4:53.

Rating: C+. The Midnights turned the tag team squash into an art form and the Mulkeys were some of the best targets they could have had. It wouldn’t have been right to leave the Midnights off of something like this as they really were great at what they did. Throw in Cornette ranting at everyone he could think of and it was a lot of fun.

From Monday Nitro, June 1, 1998.

US Title: Goldberg vs. La Parka

Goldberg is defending, gets hit in the head with a chair before the bell, and runs through him with the spear and Jackhammer to retain at 28 seconds. Well you knew Goldberg was going to be on this show.

From Monday Night Raw, July 25, 2016.

Braun Strowman vs. James Ellsworth

Ellsworth hides in the corner at the bell and then thinks it’s a good idea to come up swinging. Strowman throws him into the corner and hits a big boot to the chest, setting up a running splash. A reverse chokeslam finishes Ellsworth at 1:10. Yeah that worked.

From WCW TV, December 16, 1989.

Steiner Brothers vs. Cactus Jack Manson/Rick Fargo

Rick (Steiner, in case you thought Fargo mattered) backs Manson up against the ropes and then slaps the fire out of him. Believe it or not, Jack is kind of into the pain so Scott comes in for a backdrop. Manson fights up with an elbow for two but Scott knocks him outside rather quickly.

Back in and it’s off to Fargo and I don’t see this going well. Scott suplexes him down with ease and a super fall away slam drops Fargo again. We cut to some shots of the crowd and come back to Rick neck cranking Fargo, followed by some riding on the mat. Back up and the Steiner Line puts Fargo down again, setting up the Frankensteiner for the pin at 4:46.

Rating: C-. This was there for the sake of having the Steiners and Jack in the same match but there wasn’t much to it. The Steiners could beat up just about anyone and that’s what they did here. It just wasn’t that entertaining and was more about name value, but I can go with something like this on a big compilation.

From NXT, August 3, 2016.

Asuka vs. Aliyah

Bayley is on commentary but Asuka offers her a seat on the ramp to watch closer. Asuka snapmares Aliyah down as the fans sing for Bayley, whose confidence has been wrecked by Asuka taking the Women’s Title from her. A hip attack drops Aliyah again and Asuka chokes her in the ropes while looking down at Bayley. Another hip attack in the ropes drops Aliyah again and Asuka kicks her out of the air for two, with Asuka pulling her up. A Buzzsaw Kick sets up the Asuka Lock for the tap at 2:28. Nice story advancement with the squash.

From Sunday Night Heat, October 28, 2004.

Tyson Tomko vs. Shawn Riddick

Tomko powers him into the corner to start and hits a spinebuster before hammering away. Some forearms on the mat have Riddick in more trouble and Tomko throws him outside. Tomko isn’t having any of this comeback and kicks Riddick outside, which is enough for the referee to call it at 1:48. Riddick was bumping like crazy here.

From Superstars, February 6, 1993.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bob East/Pete Christie

The Brothers beat on the first one before handing it off to the second one. As we get a look at the latest WWF Magazine, the Brothers hit the Shaker Heights Spike (a flapjack into a faceplant) but the guy over rotates and comes down HARD on his head, thankfully for the pin at 1:28. That was on highlight reels for a good while and could have been a lot worse.

From WCW TV, March 3, 1990.

Kevin Sullivan/Buzz Sawyer vs. Robbie Idol/Zan Panzer

Sawyer is a known nutjob who takes over on Idol. Sullivan comes in for some chops and stomps Idol in the face. It’s back to Sawyer for more chopping before it’s off to Panzer, which makes Sawyer laugh. Sawyer sits on Panzer’s neck as we hear about various upcoming house shows. Sullivan ties Idol in the Tree Of Woe for the running knee and Sawyer, looking a bit nuts (understatement), adds his great top rope splash. Naturally Sawyer pulls him up at two and hits another splash but pulls him up again…and the referee disqualifies Sawyer at 4:13. For what? Beating him up too much?

Rating: C. Not great ending aside, this was another destruction with those splashes looking great. At the same time, Sullivan and his Slaughterhouse (also including Cactus Jack) never did much for me and that was the case again here. They’re a perfectly fine midcard monster team and that’s about it, which only gets them so far.

Post match Sawyer beats him up some more and Sullivan leaves, with a bunch of wrestlers having to come drag Sawyer off of Idol. They can’t quite do it though, instead picking BOTH of them up at once for a unique visual to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. I had a GREAT time with this and it is the kind of thing that shows just how much the people running the channel appreciate wrestling. They mixed in a huge variety here and some of them were incredibly entertaining. Just a great little package of fun stuff and worth a look if you want something to the point and exactly as advertised, with nothing breaking five minutes.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 11, 1993 (Debut Episode, 2025 Edition): He Never Shuts Up

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett

So you might have seen this one before, as it is the premiere episode of the series as part of the celebration of the move over to Netflix. I’ve seen this one more than a few times but to call it historic would be an understatement, even if it might not have felt that way at the time. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney is outside and welcomes us to the show. Bobby Heenan tries to get inside but is told he’s been replaced by Rob Bartlett. There are no tickets left and he’s not getting in through the press entrance so yelling ensues.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card and Bartlett is already not funny.

Yokozuna vs. Koko B. Ware

Bartlett goes straight to the fat jokes, including saying Yokozuna has an “a** like amphitheater”. Ware gets shoved down a few times so he tries to get the fans behind him with the rhythmic clapping. That doesn’t work either, which shouldn’t be a major shock. The running shoulders have Ware bouncing off of Yokozuna and the big leg connects. Yokozuna crushes him in the corner and hits the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This was more the answer to a trivia question than anything else, with Yokozuna still being new around here and getting to destroy someone in the first match ever on Raw. There isn’t much to say about it either, as Ware was more known for his large pants at this point than anything else. Nothing match, and Bartlett’s jokes made it that much worse.

Bobby Heenan is very excited about Narcissus (Lex Luger, later named the Narcissist). Mr. Perfect is scared of the Narcissus, who will be debuted at the Royal Rumble.

Steiner Brothers vs. Executioners

Scott hammers on #1 to start before handing it off to Rick for more of the same. #1 is sent into the corner as Doink The Clown is walking through the fans. Rick sends #1 into the post and grabs a belly to belly. Scott hits another one and the Steiner Bulldog finishes at 2:59. Total destruction.

Bobby Heenan, in drag, can’t get inside. Where did he get that costume?

Here is Razor Ramon for an interview with Vince McMahon. He’s ready to get the WWF Title from Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble and will win the title way faster than Bret ever did. We see a clip of Razor attacking Owen Hart on WWF Mania and now it’s time for him to take the title from Bret. Simple and to the point here, even if the title match was nothing memorable.

There is a Headlock On Hunger show coming up and Randy Savage doesn’t seem to have the card in front of him in a weird bit.

Tatanka is ready for the Headlock On Hunger.

Intercontinental Title: Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending. Feeling out process to start as Bartlett makes an unfunny joke about a WWF version of an upcoming movie. Moon starts jumping over him and takes Michaels down with a jumping hammerlock to take over. We take a break and come back with Bartlett talking about Michaels pulling a knife during the break. Michaels drops him throat first across the top rope…and Doink walks out again as Bartlett “calls in” as Mike Tyson.

Michaels hammers away as the Tyson thing finally wraps up and we hit the chinlock. Moon fights up and sends him to the floor for a seated senton off the apron. Back in and the Tyson bit goes on again as Bartlett somehow does not get that it’s dying out there. Michaels hits the superkick and teardrop superkick to retain at 11:23.

Rating: C. This is a rare care where the match was fine but my goodness commentary dragged it WAY down. There was nothing funny about this and while I’m sure the Tyson impression made Vince laugh, it was distracting and another level of terrible. The match was ok, but no one watching was going to be able to focus on it because of the Tyson nonsense. Stop doing that.

Ad for WWF Mania. I could go for seeing some of that just for the flashbacks.

We get the Royal Rumble Report, with a focus on Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty. Michaels isn’t sure why Jannetty is getting a title shot, but Jannetty implies that Sherri will turn on Michaels during the match. That’s pretty much the story, with the Rockers not being mentioned.

Mr. Perfect is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Mr. Fuji, with Yokozuna, is ready to crush everyone.

Jim Duggan isn’t sure if he’ll win, but he’ll give it all he’s got. Him winning the match a mere five years ago isn’t mentioned.

People are trying to get tickets for next week. Bobby Heenan’s beard disguise doesn’t work. Maybe he’ll try the roof.

We look at Kamala’s face turn over the weekend, as Reverend Slick convinces him to stand up to Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee. If you need help standing up to those two goons, you’re already a lost cause.

Undertaker vs. Damian Demento

Undertaker starts fast and knocks him down, setting up Old School. Demento gets a boot up in the corner and hits a running shoulder to put Undertaker down again. That’s shrugged off and the Tombstone finishes Demento at 2:25.

Next week in a cage match: Woody Allen vs. Mia Farrow. I have no idea who this is supposed to appeal to but….no.

Doink The Clown isn’t scared of Crush, who comes out for a chase.

Heenan is allowed in as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where it is far more historic than memorable on its own. I’ve seen it a bunch of times over the years and there really isn’t anything that great on the whole thing. The wrestling is average at best and nothing on here makes you think it’s a special show.

At the same time, Bartlett is an absolute miss here and dragged the show WAY down. Now, that being said, I have seen a comment from Bartlett, who basically said he knew he was terrible in the role, but as a comedian, you can’t turn down a live mic on national television. Fair enough, but man alive did it not work. Overall, not a particularly good show, but that’s absolutely not the point here. This was about “this is the beginning” and that would be a huge understatement.

 

 

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