Monday Night Raw – January 23, 2006: Get To It Already

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2006
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,900
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means it’s probably going to be time for a bunch of people to be thrown over the top in a big segment near the end of the show. Other than that we need Edge’s final night as champion before John Cena takes it back from him after three weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video, in the form of a movie trailer, looks at Edge winning the title and his path of….well a lot of things actually, on his way to the Royal Rumble.

Here are Edge and Lita for the opening chat. Lita promises that Edge is on the way to Wrestlemania as champion because he won’t be a transitional champion. He’s no Iron Sheik or Mick Foley or someone who lost the title 16 times like Ric Flair. Ric is a walking joke, but he isn’t exactly walking right now. He isn’t here tonight and he is NEVER receiving another title shot. The WE WANT FLAIR chants start up as Edge talks about John Cena joining Flair at the back of the line soon. Edge is ready to win on Sunday so he and Lita can celebrate with mirrors on the ceiling and the spinning hydraulic bed.

Cue Cena to offer Edge congratulations on the movie trailer. See, Cena saw the trailer but he has a bootleg copy of the actual movie. Cena has a review of the movie, which is the classic Boy Meets Ho story. This means various ho puns about Lita until the boy goes to Miami for the Royal Rumble, where he takes the worst beating of his life. Then she falls in love with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, because….you get the idea. Lawler: “I’ve got to see this movie.”

Lita doesn’t know what Cena is talking about but knows Cena and Edge need to find partners for tonight’s main event. She knows Edge will have options but Cena will have to play with himself. Cena: “It’s great to see something coming out of your mouth for once.” Cena promises to win on Sunday.

Kane vs. Carlito

Calito ducks the big shot in the corner and hammers away so Kane goes with right hands and elbows. Kane charges into an elbow though and Carlito’s middle rope dropkick gets two. The tornado DDT is broken up and Kane starts snapping off the clotheslines. A legdrop gets two and the side slam sets up the top rope clothesline. The Tombstone is countered into a Backstabber for two and a springboard twisting Swanton gets two. The chokeslam is broken up with a thumb to the eye and Carlito hits him with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much to hide the fact that Carlito isn’t a threat to anyone in the ring. His big move got a non-close two on Kane and they moved on like it was nothing. I know he can talk but you need something to back it up somewhere and that just isn’t the case with anything he does in the ring.

Edge suggests Lita, ahem, convince someone to be his partner. She goes into Big Show’s locker room.

Some Carolina Panthers are here.

Lita tries to convince Big Show by taking off her shirt but Edge comes in to say she’s not finishing anything until after the match. That’s a no.

Trish Stratus is warming up when Mickie James comes in to freak out over Trish teaming with Ashley tonight. Trish can’t calm her down and Mickie leaves.

Coach says there is one spot left in the Royal Rumble and he’ll be taking it himself. Jerry Lawler doesn’t like that and, after calling Coach a skinhead, challenges him to a qualifying match. Deal.

Trish Stratus/Ashley vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

Torrie Wilson is in the villains’ corner. Ashley and Victoria start things off with Ashley hitting a springboard ax handle (not bad) and bringing in Trish. That means a super hurricanrana to take Victoria down again but Victoria kicks Ashley in the head. A wheelbarrow splash gives Candice two but the slingshot flipping legdrop misses. Trish comes in to clean house, including a spinebuster to Victoria. With Trish and Candice fighting on the floor, Ashley high crossbodies Victoria for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how many times they can have some combination of the same six women but they are certainly giving it every chance they can. Ashley looked better here than at any time in the ring so far. She still can’t do much more than spots, but she’s doing them with some confidence and that is a step forward for her.

Post match, Mickie runs in and jumps Ashley again. Trish and a referee can barely break it up.

Mama Benjamin is cleaning the locker room because it needs to be nice around here. Shelton comes in and says Shawn Michaels called him a mama’s boy. Mama says Shawn is just jealous, and she could whip Shawn’s mama too.

Video on Billy Graham, who has a book and DVD out. He’s also here, because he doesn’t hate Vince this week.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

Mama Benjamin is here too. Hold on though as here’s Vince McMahon to say that if Shawn loses here, he’s out of the Rumble. They trade hammerlocks to start until Shelton grabs a sunset flip for two. A headlock takeover takes Shawn over with a headlock and then he does it again to make his point especially clear. Back up and Shawn hits a chop and a clothesline puts Shelton on the floor.

Mama is checking on her boy but Shawn is back with more chops. They head inside again with Shelton springboarding in but stopping short of the superkick in a callback to their classic last year. A kick to Shawn’s head takes us to a break and we come back with Shelton hitting a suplex.

We hit the chinlock, setting up a Samoan drop for two more. The chinlock goes on again but Mama wants to see a whipping. The superplex attempt is broken up and Shelton runs the corner to kick Shawn in the head for a crash to the floor. We take another break and come back with Shawn slugging away, setting up the forearm.

Shelton runs the corner for a belly to belly superplex and connects with the Dragon Whip for two. Shawn hits another running clothesline and tunes up the band, only to have Mama offer a distraction. That means there’s no referee to count Shelton’s rollup, allowing Shawn to reverse into one of his own and grab the trunks for the pin.

Rating: B. It wasn’t their match from last year but that is a pretty high standard to reach. The Mama stuff has been toned down a lot since her debut and they are settling into more of a rhythm. The gimmick is still death for Shelton, but he was long past the point of having any significant value after the last five months or so.

Post match, Shelton tears a bit.

Edge and Lita pitch the main event spot to HHH. He’ll think about it.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vince comes in to see Shawn, who wants to know why Vince has gone so psycho on him. Vince just wants to be happy, so he’ll spend some of his money on himself. For now though, he wants WWE to be more about sex, drugs and rock and roll. He offers Shawn a part in the decadence because he’s played the loving husband long enough. Shawn says no, but Vince seems to have a plan.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach shoulders him down to start but misses a charge in the corner. There’s a suplex to Coach….and the Spirit Squad debuts, much to Lawler’s confusion. He doesn’t seem to mind though as he hits Coach and goes to the middle rope. The Squad offers another distraction though and Coach grabs a rollup for the pin. So there’s your introduction to one of the more infamous acts of the era.

Post match the Squad does a cheer in Coach’s honor.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Gregory Helms, Rob Conway, Lance Cade

This is a weird one as anyone who throws Show over the top is in the Rumble, but Show doesn’t have anything to win. Show cleans house and wins in a hurry in exactly the way you would expect.

Post match here’s HHH to say he’ll win the Rumble. Edge is on his own tonight because HHH is done with making stars. He’s going to Wrestlemania to win either World Title.

Lita offers to calm the nervous Edge down but he’s too worried about not having a partner. Someone comes in and Edge thinks they’re perfect. As usual, the person doesn’t say anything and isn’t seen.

Edge/??? vs. John Cena/???

The partners are…..Chris Masters and Ric Flair. Well the latter was about as obvious as you could get and that’s not a bad thing. Edge is nice enough to let Masters start with Cena as the WE WANT FLAIR chants start up again. Cena grabs a fisherman’s suplex on Masters and hands it off to Flair, getting rid of any possible mixed reaction for a little while. Flair chops Edge off the apron but gets slammed down by Masters.

Edge adds a suplex on the floor and stomps away a bit so Masters can get two. Flair’s chops don’t do much good and it’s a powerslam into a bearhug. Another gorilla press connects but Edge misses a top rope chop. The diving tag brings in Cena and everything breaks down. Flair chop blocks Masters to break up a Masterlock attempt and it’s the FU into the STF for the win.

Rating: C-. Standard main event style tag match here with the best logical ending they could have. If nothing else it makes sense to put Flair out there in Charlotte to let him do something simple. Edge being scared of Cena was exactly what you would expect of him and it makes Cena seem like even more of a threat to the title, if that is possible.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird show as the Rumble card is mostly set, leaving this show mainly focusing on enforcing what was made. There were a few minor changes, but it wasn’t a show that you needed to see. Shawn vs. Shelton was good, but there is nothing left but the Rumble for now and it’s time to get to Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – January 16, 2006 (2020 Redo): Climb Faster

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2006
Location: RBC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We are getting closer and closer to the Royal Rumble but the big story coming out of last week’s show is Ric Flair interrupting Edge and Lita’s special celebration. Edge has something else to worry about with John Cena though and he might have to deal with both of them here. Oh and we get Shawn Michaels vs. new Smackdown World Champion Kurt Angle in case you need a likely instant classic. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. They never miss those.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: Edge defends against Ric Flair in a TLC match. That sounds like something you might want to promote a little more than an hour and a half in advance.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat. Edge talks about how people have been calling him a cheap champion and that he stole the title. The truth is he won the title fair and square (indeed) and as champion, he calls the shots. Some people were offended by last week’s celebration but get over it, because it was the highest rated ending to Raw in over two years.

The day after he won the title, over twenty five million people checked WWE.com, making him the most watched WWE Champion of all time. That brings him to Flair, meaning we see a clip of the Conchairto from last week. For now, Edge wants to finish what he started with Lita last week so he grabs a chair….and here’s Kurt Angle, flanked by Daivari, to interrupt. He thinks the YOU SUCK chants refer to Lita and doesn’t like Edge using a briefcase to win the title.

Angle doesn’t take the easy way to the World Title, but Edge thinks Angle ran to Smackdown because he can’t beat John Cena. Angle wants to unify the titles tonight but Edge insults him even more. The suplexes are on but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. There isn’t going to be any unification match because Edge is defending against Flair in a TLC match. Edge and Lita leave, with Vince telling Lita to cover up. That’s as out of character as you’re going to get all night. As for Angle, he’s facing Shawn Michaels in a non-title match, but if Shawn loses, his contract is terminated.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title and the match is joined in progress after the break with Shawn chasing Daivari before heading inside to chop Angle. A headlock puts Angle down and Shawn chops away in the corner again. Shawn goes up though and dives into the belly to belly, which is never a good thing. Angle’s German suplex sets up a bodyscissors to work on the ribs but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT.

That means a very delayed two but Daivari low bridges Shawn to the floor to cut him off again. A superkick drops Daivari but the Angle Slam drops Shawn on the floor. Back from a break with Shawn’s back in trouble and Angle whipping him hard into the corner. Angle can’t hit a belly to belly superplex twice in a row so he runs the corner for a super Angle Slam and a delayed two.

The ankle lock is countered into a victory roll for two and Shawn starts slugging away. That just earns him another ankle lock but Shawn is out in a hurry and clotheslining away. The top rope elbow misses though so there go the straps. The ankle lock isn’t broken so quickly this time, though Shawn does manage to slap Daivari. That’s enough to bring Daivari in with a chair but Angle breaks it up, only to have Daivari accidentally hit him with said chair. Shawn is right there with a rollup for the fluke pin.

Rating: B. These two have gotten into a formula with Angle overwhelming Shawn, leaving him to have to get in his shots here and there. It’s a formula that works and it did here, as they have spaced the matches out well enough that they don’t feel repetitive. Angle losing a few days after winning the title isn’t the best thing, but the whole situation is a mess and it wasn’t remotely clean so it could have been a lot worse.

Post match Daivari stomps away on Shawn but Angle pulls him off and wants some answers. Daivari slaps him in the face and gets Angle Slammed to the floor. Moron deserves it.

During the break, Angle said Daivari’s services are no longer needed.

We look at Edge’s huge spear at Wrestlemania X7.

Maria interviews Chris Masters and shows him how he lost in the Elimination Chamber. Masters blames Carlito but he’ll take care of him at the Royal Rumble. Tonight though, John Cena loses the Masterlock Challenge.

Ashley vents to Trish Stratus about Mickie James being all psycho. Mickie comes in and doesn’t like being talked about. Yes she is obsessed, about what she did to Ashley last week. For tonight though, they’re a team, with Mickie offering some well placed slaps.

It’s Masterlock Challenge time, with Masters saying he’s doing this to prove that he had the Elimination Chamber won if not for Carlito. Cena comes out to take the challenge, listens to Masters’ trash talk, and then flails around in the hold. He Hulks Up but here’s Edge to blast Cena with the title, busting him open. Edge’s evil smiles are always great.

Vince comes into the training room to see Shawn and throws him out for the evening. Ric Flair is next to him so Vince says Flair could become the 17 time World Champion (Flair looks straight at the camera as Vince says 17, likely wanting to go on a promo with a lot of numbers). Candice Michelle comes in to flirt with Vince and do the Go Daddy dance.

Trish Stratus/Mickie James/Ashley vs. Torrie Wilson/Victoria/Candice Michelle

During the entrances, we see a clip of Candice’s Go Daddy Super Bowl commercial, involving various parts of her washing a window. Victoria works on Trish’s arm to start and is quickly pulled down into a rollup for two. It’s off to Ashley, but Mickie spears her down and goes nuts as Victoria watches on like a smart villain. Trish argues with Mickie and it’s the Widow’s Peak to finish Ashley in a hurry. Trish vs. Mickie continues to be one of the more interesting stories on the show.

Classic Edge TLC Moment: TLC I.

Rob Van Dam is back at the Royal Rumble.

Carlito doesn’t understand why Rob Van Dam coming back is a big deal and we see a clip of Carlito attacking him in June. The reality is that Carlito is on a roll and was THIS CLOSE to winning the title at New Year’s Revolution. Don’t worry though, because he’s winning the Royal Rumble and heading to Wrestlemania. No one on Raw or Smackdown can stop him so here’s Kane to put an apple in Carlito’s mouth and throw him over the top.

Someone wants to see Vince and he seems to think it going to be Candice.

Post break, Vince starts stripping for Candice but it’s Mama Benjamin and Shelton. Well at least it wasn’t Moolah and Mae. Anyway she wants Shelton to have a match tonight and sends Shelton away. Mama offers Vince chocolate thunder and brown sugar. Even Vince seems disturbed by that one.

We look at Chris Benoit’s Swan Dive only hitting a table in TLC III.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Big Show

Mama Benjamin is here and looks close to passing out when Show’s music hits. Shelton hides behind Mama but Show is kind enough to hold the ropes open for her. Mama: “Shelton, you’re on your own.” Shelton slugs away to no avail and has to go after the broken hand to escape a chokeslam attempt. A fall away slam works better for Show as Shelton is sent outside. Show throws him back in but here’s HHH for the brawl to cause the countout, giving Shelton the win.

Rob Van Dam hit the Van Terminator in TLC IV.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Ric Flair

Only Edge (with Lita) is defending in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match (the first ever singles edition). Before the match, Flair hugs his daughter Ashley, better known as Charlotte (so yes, she was getting TV time before she even debuted). The title is raised and we’re ready to go. Edge hammers away to start and drops some elbows before throwing in the toys. A ladder to the face has Flair down and Edge crushes him in between. They head outside with Flair knocking him up against the barricade.

That means Edge gets knocked into the crowd but Flair follows and is quickly backdropped to ringside. Edge suplexes him on the floor and loads up another Conchairto on a table, but Flair fights up this time. Lita goes after Flair so Edge chairs him down like a true villain. As you might expect, Flair is busted open (I’m surprised it took him this long) and Edge puts him on the table. A splash off the ladder in the ring destroys Flair and we take a break with both of them down.

Back with Edge getting crushed in a ladder for a change and Flair chairing the ladder to make it worse. A nasty chair shot to the head lets Flair climb a ladder (gulp) so Edge superplexes him right back down for the double knockdown. Edge’s missile dropkick misses though and they’re both down again. It’s Edge up first to chair him to the floor but Flair turns over the ladder, sending Edge crashing through a table on the floor (there’s your crazy crash of the match). Lita makes the save this time and gets Figure Foured so Flair goes up again. This time Edge knocks him off though and retains in a hurry.

Rating: B. There is something so wrong yet so fascinating watching Flair in a match like this. One thing I have to give him is that he threw himself into it and almost looked comfortable out there. The lack of drama didn’t help things, but the constant shots of Ashley made me believe that there was a chance. It was a fun match, though building it up more than an hour and a half could have been advised.

Post match Edge loads up another Conchairto, drawing out Cena for the save. Cena swings the chair but can’t hit anyone to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. It’s hard to screw up a show with a big main event and Shawn vs. Angle and they were a strong enough combination to work here. What mattered here was getting the Flair vs. Edge feud out of the way and now we are moving full steam ahead to the Rumble. Cena vs. Edge is feeling like a big deal and then the Rumble itself can carry the rest of the card. Very good show here, but how could it not be given how stacked the card was?

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Monday Night Raw – January 9, 2006 (2020 Redo): The Rated R Champion

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2006
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re past New Year’s Revolution, meaning that it’s time to go towards the Royal Rumble and Edge has “stolen” (not really but it’s what commentary is saying) the Raw World Title from John Cena. It should be interesting to see where he goes from here, as he only has so many ways to go to get to the Rumble where he can lose the title back to Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here is New Year’s Revolution if you need a recap

Elimination Chamber/cash-in recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a fired up Cena to get things going, but these fans need to bring it louder with the mixed reactions. Cena talks about how many choices there are to make, like Edge choosing to cash in Money in the Bank and fans choosing to boo or ride with him. Cena is going to bat for everyone who rides with him and tells the people who are drinking the Haterade what they can do. He wants his rematch with Edge right here tonight (good thing there’s a rematch clause in the Money in the Bank contract).

Cue Lita with the title to say the rematch is coming at the Rumble, not tonight (apparently thanks to some special persuasion of Vince McMahon). Instead, Edge has something else to do tonight, and it’s going to be with Lita, in the middle of the ring. Tonight though, Edge is going to last longer than two minutes. Edge knows what to do do in bed and unlike Cena, he knows how to wrestle. Lita goes to leave but Cena tells the “one woman hooker parade to stop.” There may be a lot of people here who think he sucks but everyone KNOWS she can. Cena is taking the title back at the Rumble.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ashley

Trish is defending and Mickie James insists that the fans cheer Trish a lot louder than that. After Trish isn’t exactly cool with that, Ashley gets some of the least convincing headlocks I can ever remember. Trish shrugs it off but gets dropped on her face out of the corner….so Mickie comes in for the DQ in a hurry.

Post match Lilian messes up the announcement and says Trish is the winner, causing some confusing.

Rob Van Dam is back in the Royal Rumble.

Cena meets with Vince in the back and talks about the first ever live sex celebration tonight. If Cena interferes, there is no rematch at the Rumble. Cena is fine with that, but points out that Vince still has some evidence of Lita’s, uh, persuasion. Vince will take care of that.

Chris Masters grabs Carlito and demands answers after last night. Eventually Masters lets go because he doesn’t have the best attention span.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Rob Conway vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo slugs away to start and hits the Eddie pose, only to get thrown over the top and kicked out to the floor. Back in and Chavo knocks him outside for a change, setting up the dive. Chavo snaps off a headscissors and hammers away in the corner, only to have Conway roll through a high crossbody for two. Conway stops to mock the Eddie pose so Chavo grabs Three Amigos. The frog splash finishes Conway without much trouble.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure if that’s the best choice for a followup match to the nothing opener but Chavo is always good for a mostly smooth match. Conway is good for the same, though it’s clear that nothing is going to be happening with him anytime soon. I’ll take a passable yet boring match over a bad one though so at least it’s an upgrade. Kind of.

Wrestlemania Big Time moment: Edge wins the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Shawn Michaels because they’re partners tonight. No, they don’t trust each other.

Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin run into Val Venis because Mama has seen some of his movies. Val lists off some of his titles, sending Mama into a rant about being a good Christian woman and how Venis is going to h***. Tonight, against Shelton.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with Angle and Shawn. It’s a brawl to start until Masters is sent outside, leaving Shawn to elbow Carlito for one. The headlock goes on and Shawn grabs the hair to keep it on. Angle comes in to continue the headlocking and it’s off to Shawn and Masters. Shawn knocks him around for a bit and hands it back to Angle, who walks into a powerslam. It’s too early for the Masterlock as Angle reverses into a German suplex. Shawn and Angle are knocked to the floor though and an argument takes us to a break.

Back with Carlito hammering on Angle until he snaps off a belly to belly for a breather. Shawn gets the hot tag and starts cleaning house, including the top rope elbow to asters. Carlito breaks up Sweet Chin Music though and crotches Shawn against the st to put him down. The chinlock goes on as Shawn is bleeding from the forehead. Shawn fights up and hits a backdrop as Daivari needs to point something out to Angle.

As a result, Shawn has to DDT Masters but Angle needs to make sure that Daivari still has his gold medal. I’d be more worried about why it had a red white and blue strap around it last night and a green one tonight but that’s just me. Anyway Shawn pulls Angle over the top and gives him Sweet Chin Music, leaving Angle to get Masterlocked as Shawn is rather pleased. Shawn superkicks Daivari as Angle is out.

Rating: C. I’m assuming we’re coming up on Angle vs. Michaels again and that could be another classic. Other than that, the match itself was a long form acceptable tag match, but not exactly memorable. There is only so much that you can get out of Carlito and Masters in the ring and that is becoming more and more obvious every week.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Vince runs into Shawn and gives him another match with Angle next week. After that, they’re moving on.

HHH says last night was crazy but he is the one constant around here. That’s why he’s winning the Royal Rumble and the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania.

Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria test out Edge and Lita’s bed.

Last night, Edge and Lita promised a live sex celebration for Raw. Shouldn’t this have been aired before the announcement?

Stacy Keibler is still on Dancing With The Stars.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Val Venis

Mama Benjamin is here too. Shelton kicks him into the corner but Val punches his way out without much trouble. Val knocks him outside so Shelton can hide behind Mama, allowing a cheap shot to Val on the way back in. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Val is up with a Rock Bottom for two and he ducks the Dragon Whip. The Money Shot misses but Shelton gets pulled off the top. With Shelton down, Mama pulls out one of her hair pins and stabs Val in the back of the trunks, knocking him into the exploder for the pin.

Rating: C-. What matters most here is Mama was toned WAY down here, to the point where she was talking only slightly more than a usual manager. They also didn’t have her mic’d up as much and it made a big difference. Turning Shelton heel with the help of his Mama is fine, but don’t make Mama the star like you were doing last night.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Kane vs. Snitsky

Snitsky jumps him and gets chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Kane promises 29 more victims at the Royal Rumble. When is he going to promise to defend the Tag Team Titles?

Edge arrives.

Here are Edge and Lita for their celebration. Edge: “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” Edge brags about everything he did last night and how no one saw it coming. You don’t have to be the biggest or strongest in this business because you need to be the smartest. He and Lita have saved themselves for tonight so hit the music.

The title is placed on the pillow and Edge takes his shoes off. He gets to take off Lita’s boots as Coach wonders if Snitsky is watching. They disrobe each other and Edge unhooks Lita’s bra before covering her with the blanket. Various movements are made under said blanket and Edge comes out with Lita’s underwear in his mouth.

Cue Ric Flair to talk about what it means to become WWE Champion. Edge doesn’t have any of that and he’s dead in the bed Fred. Now Flair is going to show Edge how to do everything….so Edge hits Flair in the head with a chair. The Conchairto crushes Flair’s head, drawing out Cena for the late save. Edge runs as an FU to Lita ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. Famous ending segment aside, this was just a run of the mill show. They’re getting ready for the Rumble now though and that’s the best thing that can happen at the moment. The show is one of the most important of the year and it should be nice to see things with a big time goal. I’m not sure how much of a future Edge has, but he certainly started on a high note. Now just follow up on it.

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New Year’s Revolution 2006 (2020 Redo): Save Us Ladies

IMG Credit: WWE

Date: January 8, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’ve got a one match show here and that doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence. This show is all about the Elimination Chamber, with John Cena defending the Raw World Title against five challengers. The only other match of note on the card is Big Show vs. HHH, but it’s a far cry from the main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening video only focuses on the Chamber, which is all it should be doing.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Flair takes a bit too long getting ready though and Edge jumps him to start, meaning it’s some early choking in the corner. The chops get Flair out of trouble and it’s time to hammer away at the head. A quick Lita chase lets Edge hit a clothesline though and there’s a suplex on the floor. Back in and Edge stomps away in the corner before raining down the right hands.

Flair slugs away though and knocks Edge outside for the crotching on the barricade. Lita tries to make a save as Flair goes up top so he pokes her in the eye and manages to hit the top rope shot to the head. Another Lita distraction fails (this time with Flair giving her the pelvic thrusts) and Flair backdrops Edge outside. That leaves Lita to get caught in the Figure Four, only to have Edge come in with the briefcase for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it’s kind of a disappointment after Edge has been such a thorn to Edge for so long. They seemed to be setting the stage for a rematch down the line, but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. That’s not exactly a great way to go when this show is already a one note evening anyway.

Post match Flair is busted open so Edge hammers away, followed by another briefcase shot to leave him laying.

Kurt Angle and Daivari hope that America loses the war in Iraq, express their love for France, acknowledge that they don’t really like “the black people” and if there was one person Angle would want to make tap out in history, it would be Jesus. All this proves is that he can say anything he wants and fans will cheer him because he’s that awesome. He won his first title here in Albany and he’ll do it again here tonight.

Flair is just now being taken out of the ring.

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. Mickie is basically a crazed stalker who might have romantic feelings for Trish as well. They’re fighting tonight, but Mickie seems way more excited about being in the ring with Trish rather than the chance of winning the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and can’t cartwheel out of a wristlock to start. A hammerlock into a headlock keeps Trish in control so Mickie grabs the chest for the creepy escape. Mickie slips out of a hammerlock and grabs a rollup for two before kicking Trish outside. Back in and Trish kicks her hard in the head for her own knock to the floor.

Mickie gets in a shot to the face and they head back inside, with Trish chopping away. The Stratusphere into a spinebuster gets two but Mickie is back with her own Stratusfaction. That gets a delayed two but Trish is back up with a failed Stratusfaction attempt. Mickie lands on her feet, only to walk into the Chick Kick to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: B. Trish has taken a big step forward in recent months as she looked a lot more serious here and felt like a star. This came off like a fight between two people who wanted to win a match and you don’t see that in the division very often. It’s nice to see two people taking this seriously and having a serious match. It doesn’t help though when the rest of the division is Victoria and various parts of other wrestlers.

Maria interviews herself about the gauntlet match when Gregory Helms interrupts to say he’s about to get rid of Jerry Lawler.

Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin arrive, with Mama going to get him something nice to eat.

Edge doesn’t want to talk to fans on WWE.com.

Gregory Helms vs. Jerry Lawler

Helms armdrags him down to start so Lawler goes with the classic right hands. A backdrop gives Lawler two and he even strikes the Hurricane pose for a chuckle. That’s enough to send a frustrated Helms to the floor but he comes back in with a poke to the eye. The choking is on, followed by a suplex for what is likely the biggest spot of the match.

Helms hits a second one as commentary makes sure you know that Lawler is a former World Champion. That’s a good idea, as not only was it a different promotion, but also over fifteen years ago. Let the fans know that Lawler was a big deal in his day, as some fans aren’t going to know. We hit the neck crank into a backbreaker so Helms can go up to the middle rope.

Helms is ready for the raised boot so he stomps away again and sends Lawler outside for a posting. After a quick cameo on commentary, Helms hits a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Lawler avoids a charge into the corner though and there goes the strap. Some right hands connect and the threat of the piledriver gets the fans’ attention. That’s blocked by a backdrop though, only to have Helms get crotched on top. The fist drop gives Lawler the pin.

Rating: D. This was a weird one as it was set up on Monday, had almost no heat, and didn’t get any kind of a reaction outside of the piledriver tease. Then again, why in the world would you have this on pay per view with Lawler winning? Lawler can do this basic match in his sleep so it was passable from a technical sense, but I’m not sure how much sense it made.

Mickie runs into Trish at the interview room and talks about their sweaty bodies touching. Trish: “You do know you just lost right?” Mickie sits in on the interview with her.

Mama Benjamin wants some cornbread and cabbage at catering but here’s Viscera to hit on her in various ways. Mama snaps up and introduces herself, so Viscera offers to let him be her daddy. A match is set for later, and Mama takes his food.

We recap Big Show vs. HHH. Big Show cost him his Elimination Chamber qualifying match so HHH wants revenge. He crushed Show’s hand with a sledgehammer, only to have Show’s hand go into a very hard cast.

Big Show vs. HHH

They circle each other to start and Show knocks him outside with one shot. Back in and a chop brings HHH to his knees, followed by anther to put him down. The elbow drop sends HHH bailing to the floor for a second before coming back in again. This time, Show sends him flying over the corner as nothing is working so far. HHH gets in a jumping knee to the face and they head outside again but Show punches the post by mistake.

Back in and HHH sends the hand into the post to do some serious damage. Show gets back up and hits a headbutt, only to miss a charge and crash out to the floor. The cast is torn off and HHH rips at the fingers, setting up the knee to the hand. A quick armbar sets up another ram into the post but Show fights out of the top wristlock. Show knocks HHH into the referee so HHH pulls out the sledgehammer.

The bad hand breaks the hammer in half and a superkick puts HHH down. The chair doesn’t work either for HHH so he hits Show low and uses the chair on the hand. Since it’s just his hand though, Show spears HHH down on the floor. Back in and HHH manages a sledgehammer shot to the head, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a long one with HHH working on the hand for a good while before going back to the trusty sledgehammer all over again. That being said, it was rather nice to have HHH doing ANYTHING other than being in the main event all over again. I know he hasn’t been there for a good while now, but after such a long time, it feels like he is there all the time.

Chris Masters and Carlito form the alliance before the Chamber.

Lawler joins commentary.

Here are Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin with Shelton demanding an apology. Mama says no way and shouts about how Shelton is going to beat Viscera up.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Mama is very loud to start as Shelton is powered into the corner to start. A spinebuster plants Shelton again and it’s time to head outside for some Mama help. Viscera follows and beats on him a bit more, only to have Shelton get in a dropkick to the leg back inside. With Mama promising a SWEET POTATO PIE if Shelton wins, it’s time to go after the leg. Mama: “Come on you big ox.”

Viscera kicks him to the floor and it’s a Samoan drop to plant Shelton back inside. Mama: “DO I NEED TO GET THE BELT???” The big elbow gets two and there’s the spinning Samoan drop. Mama: “YOU BETTER WHOOP HIM OR I’M GONNA WHOOP YOU!” The Visagra has Mama panicking but Shelton knocks him into the ropes. Mama gets in a few purse shots, setting up the Dragon Whip for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another Raw level match but Mama was the story here. The problem is that while she was funny, she is going to get old in a hurry and that might have already started. It’s nice seeing Shelton win, but I really don’t get why he needs this kind of goofy deal to get him off the losing streak. It wasn’t the worst, but the gimmick is going to end anything Shelton has going.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shawn Michaels. Shawn says he’ll win, Vince says he won’t.

Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match

Maria is in at #1 and Candice Michelle is in at #2. Candice breaks a nail to start and is so mad that she rips of Maria’s top. Maria evens things up as commentary makes every joke you would expect. Candice’s headscissors is countered though and Maria eliminates her. Torrie Wilson is in at #3 and runs Maria over with an elbow. Maria kicks her out to the floor though and gets rid of Torrie’s top. They roll over the referee and Torrie is so annoyed that Maria finishes her off to move on.

Victoria is in at #5 in a “Let’s get this over with” shirt. A quick standing moonsault lets Victoria eliminate Maria so here are Mae Young and Moolah to continue the oldest gag in company history. Mae takes her own top off (there are tassels on the bra) and the pants come down for a second as well. Victoria jumps Mae so they rip off her shirt….or at least try to as it gets stuck on her bra. Mae and Moolah leave so here’s Ashley at #6 to complete the field. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work and Ashley wins after about fifteen seconds in the ring.

Rating: D-. It takes a lot to make this kind of a match stupid but they managed to figure out a way to do so. Moolah and Mae stopped being funny years ago and I didn’t really need to see them again here. It’s even worse when you see how good a women’s match could be at this time, but other than Victoria, there just wasn’t anything worthwhile at this point.

Ashley takes her clothes off to celebrate.

Shelton is celebrating his win when his Mama has to tell him to watch his swearing. She references her purse helping and gives him a hug, with Shelton not being sure what to think of things.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle vs. Kane vs. Chris Masters vs. John Cena vs. Carlito

Cena is defending in the Elimination Chamber with four minute intervals. Joey talks about how he never saw anything as hardcore as this in ECW, showing that, again, WWE commentators have horrible memories. Shawn Michaels is in at #1 (as per Vince’s orders) and Cena is in at #2 (drawing a very notably mixed reaction, which is a pretty new thing for him). Shawn starts fast and throws him over the top as the dueling chants begin.

Back in and Cena hits a boot to the face, drawing even more booing. Shawn gets crotched on top and then clotheslined outside as Carlito is in at #3. Carlito jumps Cena and the place is VERY pleased, made even better as he dives over the ropes to take out Shawn. Back in and Carlito gets the biggest reactions of his career as he beats on Cena and a slightly weaker one as he suplexes Shawn.

Carlito keeps beating on both of them but a double flapjack takes them down. The double teaming is on but it’s Angle coming in at #4 for the rapid fire suplexes. Carlito and Shawn get suplexed over the top and onto the steel, followed by a catapult to send Shawn into the cage. Shawn is busted open and gets sent into the pod wall, leaving a blood stain on the Plexiglas in a cool/disturbing image. Cena fights back against Angle for a few seconds but gets knocked right back down.

There’s the ankle lock to Carlito but it’s Masters in at #5 for the safe to protect the alliance. The ankle lock (not Angle Lock Joey) has Master in trouble and then it’s even worse on Cena. Shawn breaks that up with a superkick and Angle is out in a hurry, all but guaranteeing the winner. Carlito and Masters beat up Shawn and Cena without much trouble until Kane is in at #6 (announced in advance) to start cleaning house.

Masters covers Cena for two and the comeback is on in a hurry. Masters gives Cena a DDT onto the cage, busting him open as well. The fans boo the heck out of Cena as the stomping continues instead of, you know, one of their finishers. Carlito wants the Masterlock but then hits Masters low for the rollup elimination. Cena rolls Carlito up to retain in a hurry.

Rating: D. It’s probably the worst Chamber match ever to this point and still one of the lowest on the all time list. The only realistic options to win were Cena and Angle, with Angle being gone after only a few minutes. Carlito and Masters aren’t ready to be threats to Cena so it was more a lot of sitting around waiting until we got to the finish rather than any kind of drama. It wasn’t a complete disaster, but it really wasn’t very good at all.

Hold on though because Vince McMahon is here before the lyrics in Cena’s music even start. We’re not done tonight because for the first time ever, someone is cashing in their Money in the Bank briefcase and the title is being defended RIGHT NOW.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Cena is knocked down in a hurry so Edge hits the spear for two to take the life out of the fans again. That’s fine with Edge, who spears Cena again to win the title for the first time, which is a pretty cool moment and completely appropriate for him. Still one of the best cash-ins ever (maybe the best) and perfect for the situation.

Edge and Lita (Lawler: “Behind every man, there’s a sl**.”) celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I really didn’t like this show and there was almost nothing (scheduled) worth seeing, with Mickie vs. Trish being the only good thing about the whole thing. This has been a throw away show for its two year history and having the Elimination Chamber doesn’t help all that much. Edge cashing in helps it out a lot, but it’s just a short burst at the end of a two hour and forty minute show. Maybe it can help the show going forward, and this was a lot of proof as to why it was needed.

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Monday Night Raw – January 2, 2006: The Balancing Act

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 2, 2006
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,896
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We’re starting off a new year with a go home show as we get ready for New Year’s Revolution. The show is the definition of a one match event and I’m not sure if John Cena is ready to carry that kind of a show on his shoulders. I’m not sure what we’re going to get tonight but hopefully a lot of it is spent on getting the rest of the card ready. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He recaps his Zero Tolerance Policy from last week, meaning no more Mr. Nice Guy. Shawn Michaels doesn’t think much of it and Vince should have fired him on the spot. Everything he has done in his professional life has been for the fans so starting tonight, it’s all about him. That includes tonight’s first blood match, and the match you’re about to see.

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

Hold on though as Vince has a special rule: if Shawn uses a superkick, it’s an automatic DQ. Shawn chops away in the corner to start but gets knocked down by the uppercuts. A sunset flip gives Shawn two but Kane hits him in the face again as the beating is on. More chops get Shawn out of trouble and he manages to clothesline Kane outside. The slingshot dive connects so Vince yells at Shawn, allowing Kane to get in a cheap shot from behind.

We take a break and come back with Kane driving him into the corner and hitting a belly to back suplex. The choking ensues and a knee drop gets two, much to Vince’s amusement. There’s the neck crank and more choking, plus an uppercut for two. Another neck crank is broken up in a hurry and Shawn slips out of the chokeslam attempt.

Shawn fights out of the corner and hits the flying forearm into the nipup. A DDT gets two on Kane, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for the same. You don’t do that to Kane though as he kicks Shawn’s head off, only to miss the top rope clothesline. Shawn’s top rope elbow connects and he tunes up the band, but Vince threatens to throw him out of the Elimination Chamber. That’s enough of a distraction for Kane to hit the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Oh yeah it’s going to be a long form story and heavy on the McMahon, which isn’t exactly promising for the near or distant future. Vince being all evil works, but Shawn as the family man Steve Austin isn’t exactly the most interesting adversary. Then again, they’re doing a story built off the Montreal Screwjob so what are you expecting?

During the break, Vince made Shawn the #1 entrance in the Chamber.

Gregory Helms thinks Jerry Lawler is holding him down, but Lawler doesn’t quite agree. Cue Helms to say it to Lawler’s face. Lawler gets in the ring so Helms can ask where the Hurricane jokes are. If anyone is going to be mocked for their appearance, it should be Lawler. That’s fine with Jerry, who thinks Helms is now just a guy, who sucks. The fight is on and Helms is knocked to the floor, allowing Lawler to challenge him for New Year’s Revolution. Game on.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Vince McMahon asks Mickie James about kissing Trish Stratus when Kurt Angle and Daivari storm in. Angle wants Daivari to be the guest referee in the first blood match but Vince isn’t happy with Angle’s comments about the military. Vince wants blood from someone tonight so Angle promises to make John Cena bleed so badly that Vince will have to drive him to the hospital.

We look at Mickie kissing Trish last week.

Trish is running the steps and doesn’t want to talk about the kiss. Instead, she’s just focused on the title match, but for now it’s time for a shower.

Maria is hosting the Kiss Cam but here are Victoria (in a neck brace thanks to Carlito), Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle to interrupt. Maria: “Did you guys want to be on Kiss Cam”? Victoria didn’t have a good New Year and Maria probably doesn’t know they have a match tonight. A kick to the ribs has Maria in trouble and the bell rings.

Maria vs. Victoria

Victoria is wrestling in the neck brace and beats Maria down without much trouble. The referee breaks things up and Candice’s interference fails, allowing Maria to grab a rollup for the very fast pin.

Post match the beatdown is on and of course Maria is stripped. Ashley makes the save but gets taken down with the Double D DT.

During the break, Vince made a bra and panties gauntlet match for Sunday.

Mickie steals Trish’s towel so she has to hear Mickie’s apology for last week. She hands over the towel and compliments Trish’s….oh you can figure it out.

Here are Edge and Lita on the platform for a chat. Edge talks about Ric Flair being a legend but anyone who respects Flair is full of it. See, Edge is one of a kind and would be whether there was a Ric Flair or not. We get some amateur video of Flair’s road rage incident….and it’s Edge in a Flair costume cutting off the car, chopping the driver, and putting him in the Figure Four on the highway. You knew the impression was coming somewhere in this feud.

Back in the arena, Edge talks about Flair’s divorce and Lita hopes Flair’s wife takes everything. On Sunday, Edge is rescuing the Intercontinental Title but here’s Flair for the brawl. They fight to the ring with Edge getting beaten up in the corner but Lita breaks up the Figure Four. That just earns her the Figure Four as Edge bails. This hasn’t been bad, even though referencing Flair embarrassing himself (again) might not be the best idea.

Video on Stacy Keibler competing on Dancing With The Stars.

Chris Masters vs. Shelton Benjamin

Masters powers him around to start and hammers Shelton for daring to try a backslide. A hard clothesline gives Masters two but Shelton punches his way out of the corner. The running forearm and a running knee lift sets up a kick to the head for two. Well three but Masters had a foot on the ropes at two. Shelton is getting annoyed at the pace of the count but he’s able to reverse the Masterlock into a backbreaker for two. A missed clothesline lets Masters grab the Masterlock on the second attempt though and Shelton is done.

Rating: C. I can’t even get annoyed at Shelton losing anymore as that phone call last week seemed rather ominous. The same could be said about losing clean to Masters, even if he is heading to the pay per view main event. Masters isn’t going to win the thing, but they’re doing a good enough job of building him up for a short form push.

Another Elimination Chamber video.

Ben Roethlisberger was at a house show.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He talks about people who want to get things done but then fail miserably. That doesn’t apply to him of course, because he knows how to find the right tool to accomplish the job. There are no chances in the ring because he always knows what is going to happen. Big Show thought he had it figured out but then last week happened.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shelton is in the back….and here’s his Mama. She came all the way from South Carolina to see him lose and that’s not what the Benjamins do. He needs to start doing what she says and get in the shower because he stinks. And that would be it for Shelton’s career prospects for a long, long time.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

One more Elimination Chamber video.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title, first blood and Daivari is in Angle’s corner. Joined in progress with Angle rolling the German suplexes to quite the popular reaction. Daivari takes a turnbuckle pad off as the crowd is either very interested in this or sweetened. Cena fights back and sends Angle hard out to the floor but Daivari gets in a gold medal shot. Back in and Angle pounds at the unopened head before sending him face first into the exposed buckle. The straps come down for the Angle Slam and it’s time for a chair. Cena slugs him down but Daivari jumps on Cena’s back before he can swing the chair. The ankle lock is broken up and we get a ref bump (to go with the interference and first blood rules five minutes into the match), allowing Angle to chair Cena in the head. Cena is busted but reverses Angle’s FU into the STFU, only for the referee to see the blood (and it is EVERYWHERE) to give Angle the win.

Rating: C+. These two always had good chemistry together and that was the case again here. Throw in a gory blade job and Daivari interfering as he should have and it was a fast paced and violent main event. It doesn’t hurt Cena to lose a match like this thanks to cheating so they kept it safe while doing what they needed to do.

Post match Carlito and Masters run in for the big brawl but it’s Kane to clean house. Shawn comes in to superkick Kane but Cena is back up with the FU and all six are down.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had a weird balance to maintain as there is a card on Sunday aside from the Elimination Chamber, but I’m not sure if anyone is even remotely interested in most of it. They did a good enough job of making me interested, though it’s all about that one match and that’s very obvious. At the same time though, this show included the debut of Mama Benjamin and any show that does that is not going to receive the highest grade. They did a nice balancing act here though and that’s harder than it seems.

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Monday Night Raw – December 26, 2005: This Is Going To Be A Big One

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2005
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing out the Raw side of 2005 with this and that could might not be the best news. With less than two weeks to go before New Year’s Revolution, it’s time to build up what is left of the card aside from the Elimination Chamber main event. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but we should be in for something here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and promises to continue the General Manager hunt. Also tonight, a Beat the Clock Challenge between the six Elimination Chamber participants, with the winner getting to enter last. Finally, tonight Vince will be reviewing the new Bret Hart DVD and then giving his candid comments in the arena. There is no way this can end well.

Opening sequence.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Shawn Michaels vs. Snitsky

Shawn starts fast and tries a sunset flip but has to avoid the right hand. One heck of a clothesline drops Shawn though and Snitsky drives him into the corner. The side slam gets two and it’s time to head outside. A ram into the apron stays on the back and Snitsky drops some elbows for two.

The bearhug is broken up in a hurry and Shawn chops away, followed by the flying forearm. Another clothesline gives Snitsky another two but the superplex is broken up. There’s the top rope elbow but Snitsky kicks him in the face to break up Sweet Chin Music. The second attempt works just fine though and Snitsky is done at 5:56 to set the time.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of amazing how many times Shawn gets a good match out of a hopeless goof like Snitsky. They told a simple story here and the match worked just fine as a result. It wasn’t about Shawn possibly losing, but rather giving Shawn an obstacle to overcome to get the win. The time adds an additional element and they had a nice enough time as a result.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge with Ric Flair as the special guest again. This time though, it’s a picture of Flair with a moving mouth. The voice (which sounds a heck of a lot like Matt Striker) asks where the Horsemen are and goes on a rant about how awesome he is. Edge talks about Flair stealing everything from him but Flair talks about being big from Ashton Kutcher to Abdullah the Butcher.

The road rage incident is brought up and Flair says he pretended that it was Edge and beat him up….then he got arrested. Edge promises to win the World Title and hold it longer than all sixteen of Flair’s reigns combined. Cue the real Flair to get rid of Edge without much effort.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. Chavo Guerrero

The time is set at 5:56. Chavo dodges a bit to start and tags him in the jaw before bailing out to the floor to kill some clock. Back in and a dropkick puts Masters on the floor but he drives Chavo back first into the apron. The Masterlock doesn’t work so Masters goes with a fall away slam for two. With two minutes left, Masters starts in on the back but still can’t get the Masterlock. Chavo gets two off a victory roll but the tornado DDT is countered. Masters grabs the Masterlock but Chavo survives.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t work as well, mainly because Masters just isn’t very good. There is only so much that you can get out of a musclebound lug like him but at least he’s slowly getting a bit better. The problem is how limited he is with his one dimensional offense. Chavo tried, but he’s not quite Shawn. To be fair though, who is?

Post match, Masters says the clock was fast, and promises to become the new WWE Champion at New Year’s Resolution. Chavo dropkicks him to the floor for not knowing the name of the pay per view.

Kurt Angle rants about how bad Tribute to the Troops was because the troops want praise for building some schools. There hasn’t been a draft since Vietnam so they all volunteered for this. They chose to leave so he doesn’t want to hear about all of their sacrifices.

Torrie Wilson is in Vince’s office and Vince thinks the dog wants to be GM. Todd Grisham comes in and Vince wants him to tell Flair that he’s defending the Intercontinental Title against Edge at New Year’s Revolution. Also, Todd interviewed Bret Hart a few weeks ago on Byte This. Vince: “Do you think I could take him?” Todd immediately agrees and Vince says he has a future around here. Todd leaves and Vince tells Torrie he loves playing with puppies. Shockingly enough, Torrie looks like she’s about to be sick.

Mickie James is very happy to get to spend Christmas with Trish Stratus and is even happier to get a title shot at the pay per view. There’s mistletoe above them so Mickie kisses her, freaking Trish out. Trish leaves in a hurry and Mickie is upset.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

The time is set at 5:56. Daivari lays down but the referee won’t count the three. He even shoves the referee so the chase is on throughout the crowd. The referee gets back in and that’s a countout in less than a minute and a half.

Post match, the referee runs again to avoid a bad case of dismemberment.

It’s time for a contract signing between Big Show and HHH. Big Show throws his chair away and signs in a hurry. HHH takes off his jacket but won’t sign. Instead he talks about how Show has been talking about him for weeks now. Show wants to screw HHH out of his title shot because Show has had everything handed to him over the years.

HHH worked his way to the top while Show bulldozed his way through everything. The only thing different about Show is that he’s tall. He’s an over inflated basketball player but Show says there’s no backup here. HHH: “I don’t need any backup for you fat boy.” The pen goes into Show’s eye and HHH pulls the sledgehammer out from under the table. Show’s hand is crushed and now HHH signs.

Beat The Clock Challenge: John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and the time is set at 5:56. A very early FU attempt is countered and Shelton hits a springboard armdrag. Cena still can’t hit the FU so he tries a suplex, only to be reversed into a neckbreaker for two. An elbow drop gets two more but Shelton is back with the crossbody for the same. Shelton grabs a spinebuster for two as the fans are split (it’s almost strange hearing anything other than CENA SUCKS after LET’S GO CENA). The sleeper keeps Cena down with 1:30 left on the clock.

Cena fights up with a weak version of the ProtoBomb and the fisherman’s suplex gets two. The FU is loaded up but Shelton grabs the rope as the time expires. Unlike Masters though, this match continues as they head outside, where the Dragon Whip only hits post. Back in and Shelton pokes him in the eye, only to have Cena pick him up for the FU. The STFU makes Shelton tap in a hurry.

Rating: C. The clock being a focus can take away from some of the individual matches, though it still makes for a good focal point of the entire show. Shelton poking the eye is an interesting twist, as they have been teasing a heel turn for him for a long time now. The match wasn’t bad at all, but it does make me wonder what these two could do in a longer form match.

Post match Kurt Angle and Daivari run in for the beatdown but Cena clears house.

Matt Striker wants to be GM and thinks Jonathan and Kurtis should write essays about rules and regulations. Vince: “That makes me want to vomit.” He wants violence so next week it’s Angle vs. Cena in a first blood match.

Carlito gives his own version of A Visit From St. Nicholas (Twas The Night Before Christmas) about spitting apples at people.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Carlito vs. Victoria

The time is set at 5:56. Carlito laughs a lot and gives Victoria a spank to start. A slam puts Victoria down but Torrie and the dog offer a distraction so Victoria can hit Carlito in the knee with the magic wand. That’s enough for Carlito, who Rolls the Dice for the pin at 2:36.

Post match, Carlito spits apple at Victoria.

We recap some of the night and run down New Year’s Revolution.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kane vs. Heart Throbs

The time is set at 2:36. Kane wins with a double chokeslam at 28 seconds. Well that worked.

Vince watches the Montreal Screwjob and is ready for his live comments.

Here’s Vince to show us a clip of Bret saying he stands by how he acted in Montreal. He understands that Vince what he had to do but history speaks for itself. In an informal poll, Vince asks if he was right or if Bret was wrong. See, that was a trick, just like he tricked Bret that night because he needed something done.

Cue Shawn Michaels, with Vince introducing him as his partner in crime that night. Shawn whispers something in Vince’s ear but Vince says he can say it to everyone. Vince says that whatever Shawn has to say to him, he can say to everyone. Shawn talks about how it has been eight years since that night and while Bret is still not over it, shouldn’t Vince let it go already?

Now Vince is a grandfather and the chairman of a multi million dollar company. Vince doesn’t like that and says that it’s not 1997 anymore and Shawn has nowhere else to go. It’s time to swallow his pride and agree with whatever Vince says. He’s tired of listening to everyone stand up to him so from now on, it’s zero tolerance. Vince goes to leave so Shawn takes his jacket off and stares Vince down to end the show. This is going to be a big one isn’t it?

Overall Rating: C+. I really like these Beat the Clock shows as they tie things together so well. The majority of the show was spent on that one idea and it worked out well enough in the end. The other big angles were the Big Show vs. HHH deal, which is at least something fresh, and the beginnings of Vince vs. Shawn which is….well rather terrifying but you can’t win them all.

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Monday Night Raw – December 19, 2005 (2020 Redo): These Still Work

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2005
Location: Bagram Air Force Base, Bagram, Afghanistan
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We pause to go overseas for Tribute to the Troops, which felt a lot more special when they actually went to the troops. None of the storyline stuff here is going to matter whatsoever and that’s not the point of the show. This is going to be a bunch of fast paced stuff and thanking the troops. There’s nothing wrong with that so the quality of the wrestling isn’t what matters this week. Let’s get to it.

The troops rush into the makeshift arena.

We get a video on the history of entertaining the troops and how special this show is.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up (Lawler: “He’s like our five star general.”) and he’s got a big promise: Santa Claus himself is making a special trip here, but he’s not sure what to get everyone for Christmas. Santa doesn’t know what to tell the negative media types back home who have forgotten about the soldiers here. That story is one with a happy ending because the armed forces get the job done. He has an idea of what they should do though and brings out military brat Lilian Garcia to sing the National Anthem (and certainly admires the barely existing outfit).

WWE had to stop at a base in Germany on the way here and met some troops at a medical hospital.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Carlito hides to start but manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope. Some left hands don’t do much and it’s the chokeslam to finish Carlito in just over a minute.

Post match Show celebrates with the troops. Just assume that takes place after every match.

We look at the troops having to be worried about mines, some of which had to be destroyed with C4 (Spanish Fly, same thing).

Jonathan Coachman is in the ring and introduces Santa Claus, who isn’t fat and is in military gear instead of the red suit. He also seems to be John Bradshaw Layfield, who talks about knowing Vince since he was a little evil boy. Vince is wrong about the world forgetting about their troops, because the reality is no one cares. If this place was any better, it would suck. There was NO Dom Perignon for his reindeer and it might as well be called Rehabistan.

As a result, Santa is skipping Afghanistan next year and is canceling Cinco de Mayo, Oktoberfest, Arbor, St. Patrick’s Day, Bastille Day and everything else. Oh and no leave for the troops! He’s going back home to cold beer….but we’ve got another Santa, who is rather large and in the red and white. This one says he’ll be delivering presents RIGHT HERE in Afghanistan but the other one says the only ho-ho-hos around here are the Divas. The red Santa wants a No Ho-Ho-Holds Barred match to settle this once and for all.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Bad Santa hammers away to start so Good Santa hits him with the sack of toys. The pillow comes out of Good Santa’s shirt (that’s a relief as even Mick isn’t that big) but since it’s a pillow, it doesn’t do much damage. A big boot drops Good Santa instead but the Clothesline From Bad Santa misses and it’s the double arm DDT. The Mandible Claw is good for the fast pin.

John Cena and Trish Stratus had a quick press conference and met some troops.

MSNBC was here too and interviewed some troops. They’re still looking for Osama Bin Laden.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him in the face to start and knocks him down without much effort. The turnbuckle pad is ripped off but Shelton slugs away and hits a running forearm. The top rope clothesline connects but the Stinger Splash hits the buckle. A big boot gives Snitsky the pin. Shelton can’t even win HERE?

We look at a hut that has been turned into a makeshift coffee bar.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Cena grabs a headlock to start as the announcers talk about the great strides democracy has been making in Afghanistan. Masters runs him over with a shoulder but Cena is right back with a front facelock. Back up and Masters pounds him down with a front facelock of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t quite work and Masters’ middle rope fist drop misses. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and it’s the Shuffle into the AA for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was fine as Cena gets to beat up a muscleheaded heel. It’s not like Masters loses anything by getting beaten by the champ here as the show exists in its own continuity. That and it’s not like anyone believed he had a real chance to win the title in the Chamber anyway. I’m not entirely sure why it was non-title but it doesn’t really matter.

More clips of wrestlers meeting the troops.

Coach brings out Ric Flair, who is rather well received. Coach calls this Flair’s farewell tour because HHH beat him down at Survivor Series. Even Coach could beat him right now so let’s do it for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Jonathan Coachman vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and takes Coach into the corner without much effort to start. A back elbow staggers Flair and Coach gets to take off the shirt (King: “Oh no, he’s exposing his body!”). Flair comes back with the chops and a low blow, followed by the Figure Four to retain in a hurry.

More clips of the troops, including an explanation from future United States Senator Martha McSally, and the wrestlers talking about how awesome this is.

Candice Michelle to keep Maria from going into an area that hasn’t been cleared for mines.

Candice Michelle/Maria vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The women are attired as you would expect them to be. Ashley and Maria start things off with Maria celebrating an early takedown. Candice comes in and wants Trish but it’s already time for the stalling on the floor. Actually make that body surfing and then the Go Daddy dance. Trish shoves her to the floor and lays on the ropes before accidentally headscissoring the referee. Maria is too busy posing on the apron to take the tag so Trish headscissors Candice this time. Ashley comes back in for a double elbow but Candice rolls her up and grabs….whatever you call what Ashley is wearing for the pin.

Rating: D+. There might have been something other than the wrestling here and that’s fine given the situation. The women were there for one purpose here and it worked well enough. The soldiers liked it and that’s all they were going for here. Again though, kind of weird to have the heels win but it doesn’t exactly matter.

Monday Night Raw – September 26, 1994: Still Waiting After 25 Years

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 26, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It’s a new taping cycle to wrap up the month and, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d love to see more Bob Backlund here. He was amazing last week with the complete insanity making the segment the best thing about the show. Odds are that won’t get a ton of focus, but we can only hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a quick preview of Razor Ramon vs. Tatanka for the Intercontinental Title.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Tatanka

Tatanka is challenging and has Ted DiBiase in his corner. Razor gets the better of a chop off and there’s a clothesline to put Tatanka on the floor. Back in and Tatanka goes with some overhand chops to more success and a forearm to the back slows Razor down. A backdrop attempt is countered with a faceplant to the mat, meaning it’s Razor’s turn to work the arm.

We hit the armbar with the slaps to the back of the head so Tatanka hits a clothesline. The running elbow gets two on the champ and we take a break. Tatanka misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor. Razor knocks him off the apron to keep him out there but a missed right hand lets Tatanka get in a neck snap across the top. This time it’s Tatanka taking him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with more walking around on the floor and Razor being drive back first into the apron a few times. They head inside again with Tatanka chopping away and grabbing the abdominal stretch. DiBiase gets in on the grabbing thing by grabbing Tatanka’s hand, only to have Razor reverse into one of his own. With that going nowhere, Razor puts him on the top for the belly to back superplex, which draws DiBiase up for a distraction. Razor goes after him so Tatanka follows, drawing out Lex Luger. Bam Bam Bigelow follows and jumps him, only to have Tatanka join in and get counted out.

Rating: D. This was the big Tatanka heel debut: a slow, plodding match which went about five minutes longer than it needed to and saw Tatanka get counted out. What a great way to make me worried about the guy and get me fired up to see him face Luger. This was horrible and a terrible start for the heel run, which doesn’t exactly bode well.

Undertaker is ready for Yokozuna on the Hart Attack Tour.

Kwang vs. Rich Myers

Myers avoids a charge to start but Vince McMahon starts talking about a trade between ESPN, the Arizona Cardinals and the WWF, with Savage being the quarterback, the Bushwhackers going to ESPN and Phil Sims (NFL quarterback) coming to Raw for commentary. Thankfully this goes nowhere as Kwang hits a spinwheel kick for the fast win.

Here’s Jerry Lawler to bring out British Bulldog for the King’s Court. Lawler starts with the dog jokes (Lawler: “My dog’s name is Timex: he’s a watchdog.”) but finally makes a joke about Bulldog’s wife and that’s too far. Cue Jim Neidhart to say Bulldog isn’t part of the Hart Family so he shouldn’t have been at Summerslam. They can fight next week, and that’s fine with Bulldog. He was rather fired up here, and not exactly in a good way.

Next week: a woman’s tag match. That might actually be good given the time frame.

We look back at Bob Backlund going nuts last week. The WWF Magazine editor has a slightly separated shoulder.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Gary Davis

Kid grabs a quick snapmare and Davis swears a hair pull. A wristlock doesn’t work so well for Davis as Kid kicks him down without much trouble. Cue Backlund with a present for Savage, though Vince reads the letter. The present is a dictionary so Savage can know what Backlund is talking about. Kid misses a running dropkick in the corner but stops a charging Davis with a kick to the head. The top rope legdrop finishes Davis in a hurry.

Rating: D+. The match was just background noise for the sake of the Backlund delivery. That’s not the biggest story in the world but Backlund vs. Savage in a promo battle alone could be worth the time. I doubt we’re going there, but at least there is SOMETHING to look forward to around here.

King Kong Bundy is coming back. He’s really big you see.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel vs. Chris Kanyon/Bob Starr

Non-title. I can always go for a surprise cameo like this one. Shawn elbows Kanyon down to start and it’s off to Diesel to throw him into the corner. Starr comes in and takes the top rope elbow (Savage: “That elbow looks familiar.”) and there’s Diesel’s side slam. The Jackknife connects and Shawn comes in for the pin (because he gets the glory).

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of a short squash like this but at least the champs are the kind of guys who can make almost anyone look good. The more interesting note here is Kanyon, which kind of tells you how little this match meant or had to offer in the first place. At least the champs got to look dominant, even in a short form squash.

Post match here are the Headshrinkers, though it’s the debuting Sionne (Barbarian) taking Samu’s place.

Post break, Lou Albano says that Samu is out due to some bad fish. I remember hearing this live and spending MONTHS waiting for Samu to come back. The brawl is on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The high point of this show was Bob Backlund giving Randy Savage a dictionary. I can’t get out of 1994 fast enough as it’s such a terrible time for the company. Is it any wonder why WCW was on the rise at this point? Hulk Hogan vs. the Faces of Fear wasn’t good, but it’s better than Barbarian debuting as the new Headshrinker. Awful show here, as usual.

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Monday Night Raw – September 12, 1994: They Don’t Get Irony Do They?

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It’s another month here and this time around we’re starting in the middle, as the US Open Tennis Tournament took away the first week of September. We’re a long way off from Survivor Series so we don’t have much to build towards at the moment, but that tends to be the case in 1994 anyway. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker vs. Kwang

This is Undertaker’s first match on Raw since January and Kwang is Savio Vega under a mask with Harvey Wippleman as a manager. They stare at each other a lot and Kwang makes the mistake of going after him, meaning the beating can start in a hurry. Kwang hits him in the back and gets stared down, followed by a slam for a bonus. The Stunner over the top sets up Old School back inside as we take a break.

Back with Kwang hammering away before Undertaker pretty easily wins a slugout. Kwang scores with a superkick and clothesline to the floor….but Undertaker lands on his feet because that’s what he does. Back in and Kwang spits mist at him, only to have Undertaker spit it right back at him. The chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your “welcome home” return match and that’s all well and good. Undertaker looked pretty dominant and that’s what they need from him after such a long absence. Kwang is fine for a midcard villain and I don’t think there is anyone who believed he was ever going to be anything more than that. 1994 wasn’t a great time for midcarders and that wasn’t going to get any better for a long time.

Highlights of Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart in a cage at Summerslam, plus the post match fracas.

Jim Neidhart vs. Tim McNeaney

Owen Hart is here with Jim. Neidhart throws him around with ease and then tosses him outside. A forearm to the chest brings McNeaney back in and Owen tells Neidhart to hurt him a little more. Another slam sets up the camel clutch to give Neidhart the easy win.

Rating: D. The whole Neidhart vs. Bret feud is a good example of how chemistry means so much. Neidhart is not all that interesting on his own but he has a history with Bret and that makes things all the better. It makes things that much better and saves us from boring squashes like this one.

Post match the hold goes on again and Owen puts some Bret glasses on McNeaney.

We look at Jerry Lawler popping Dink’s balloons. Doink looked furious and you never want a crowd swearing vengeance.

It’s time for the King’s Court. After Lawler insults some fans, he holds up a letter from Jack Tunney demanding that he apologize to Doink and Dink. Therefore, Lawler will be the bigger man than Dink, so the clowns can come out here. This includes Dink in a Burger King crown, which is not going to end well. Doink and Lawler make fun of each other’s clothes before Lawler gets in some more short jokes about Dink.

The clowns just want to make things right so they have a present for him. Vince thinks it’s a box of WWF Magazines with Doink and Dink on the cover, because that’s a heck of a gift. Lawler is scared of what’s in there so Doink opens it for him. It’s….a trashcan, because Lawler is facing Duke the Dumpster Droese next week. Lawler kicks the trashcan, which just happens to have metal weights inside. I hate that I laughed at that one.

Come to the Hart Attack Tour!

Diesel/Shawn Michaels vs. Tony Devito/Paul Van Dale

The fans chant for Diesel as Shawn slaps Devito in the face early on. A Diesel distraction lets Shawn knock him outside and it’s off to Diesel for a hard forearm to the face. It’s already back to Shawn for a chinlock but he lets it up in a hurry so Van Dam can come in. That’s fine with Diesel, who plants him with a big boot. The Jackknife sets up Shawn’s splash from on top of Diesel’s shoulder for the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was an entertaining little squash and that’s all it needed to be. Shawn and Diesel are cited as the best big man/little man combination for a reason: they’re really good at what they do and that’s what we saw here. Van Dale wasn’t much, but his daughter was a little more fabulous. You probably know her as Carmella.

We look at Ted DiBiase trying to buy Adam Bomb but Bomb got in a fight with Bam Bam Bigelow instead.

Adam Bomb vs. Dwayne Gill

Bomb is now in blue and yellow for a change of pace. Gill gets shoved down to start and then bounces off of Bomb’s shoulder. Some kicks out of the corner and something like a bulldog onto the top turnbuckle have Bomb in trouble for all of a second before he’s back with a dropkick. A side slam connects and Gill’s missed crossbody sends him outside. Back in and the slingshot clothesline into the pumphandle slam finishes Gill with ease.

Rating: D+. I’ve always had a soft spot for Bomb so this was a fun match. Bomb was someone with the size and athleticism to make it work but it’s not like he had that high of a ceiling. His southern hick voice didn’t help things but I thought he could have been fine as a midcard star and maybe even an Intercontinental Title challenger. Or maybe he could go nowhere while the WWF came up with one horrible idea after another.

A man goes to confession but his priest is watching wrestling. Dig the New Generation. Voiceover: “Put your faith in us.”

Bushwhackers vs. Barry Hardy/Burt Centino

Now you know as well as I do that the WWF doesn’t get the irony of going from a New Generation ad to THE BUSHWHACKERS in 1994. Butch and Hardy start things off and the latter is already in trouble. A bite of the trunks connects as Knuckleball Schwartz is on strike in the crowd. Centino and Luke come in with the latter hitting a clothesline for no count as Hardy comes in. Butch shoves Hardy onto Centino and counts two, which is too far for the referee. A chop staggers Centino and the Battering Ram is good for the pin.

Rating: D. The Bushwhackers in the last match on the show in 1994? For the life of me I don’t get why this took place but that’s what you get around this time. It wasn’t even a good squash as it was mainly comedy, but what else could be expected here? At least it was short, and that’s the signature line about any horrible match.

We end with a preview of next week’s show, with Duke Droese vs. Jerry Lawler listed twice for some reason.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, Shawn and Diesel were the highlights here and they weren’t exactly thrilling. This is a horrible time for the company and the New Generation still wasn’t taking off yet. They needed something to get them a breath of fresh air and that would wind up being Diesel. Based on the reaction he got here, you can’t blame them. You can blame them for the rest of the show though, which was pretty horrible.

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Monday Night Raw – December 12, 2005: The Theme Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2005
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s officially a new era as Eric Bischoff was fired last week. That ends a three and a half year reign from Bischoff, meaning we now need a new boss. Or maybe not at the time as we have the build for the Elimination Chamber to get us through the next week or two. That could make for some good stuff so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s trial and Eric Bischoff being fired.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going, but first he has to throw away a microphone that doesn’t work. Last week he fired Eric Bischoff and that isn’t changing. Oh and Merry Christmas to Eric and his family. As for a new GM, Vince has some options. Maybe Stephanie McMahon or Shane McMahon, or Theo Epstein or Ted Turner. It might even be one of the fans here! Vince: “Just ribbing. It won’t be one of you.”

Vince has assigned someone to be the interim GM for tonight. He’s a business genius, handsome and one virile SOB. Naturally that’s Vince himself, and tonight it’s the Elimination Chamber qualifying matches. We’ll start with this, and the fans will NOT be censored during his entrance.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Flair headlocks him down to start and Angle is already bailing into the corner. With the WOOing out of the way, Angle drives him into the corner and pounds away. Some chops don’t do Flair much good so it’s a German suplex into the ankle lock. A few dives allow Flair to make it to the rope so Angle grapevines it for the four count as we take a break.

Back with Flair fighting out of a chinlock and belly to back suplexing his way to freedom. The Figure Four goes on but it’s pretty close to the rope and doesn’t last long. The leg is fine enough to pop off an overhead belly to belly but Flair chops him to the floor. Angle grabs a chair so the referee gets rid of them, allowing Angle to whip out a gold medal and knock Flair silly for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the end and I’m always appreciative of protecting a champion. Angle beating Flair on his own wouldn’t have been horrible but there’s no need to have the champ lose again so soon after Survivor Series. I could go for more of this, though it would just make me wonder what they could have done in their primes.

Post match Angle goes on a rant about how Raw is going to Afghanistan next week for a Tribute to the Troops. It’s voluntary though and Angle is NOT going because the troops have done nothing for him. MAYBE is they catch Osama Bin Laden, he’ll go over there and sign some autographs.

We cut to Daivari in the back in front of statues of Boston sports legends Larry Bird and Bobby Orr. He whips out some spray paint so he can treat them like Americans treat Angle but here’s angry John Cena to cut them off. Cena goes on a rant about how Angle won’t go honor the troops that keep him safe. Half of the people think Cena sucks too so but that’s because we’re in AMERICA! With no American soldiers there are no American heroes, and you can’t see him, so he spray paints the camera lens.

Edge and Lita mock Flair for being arrested. A fight is teased but goes nowhere.

Shelton Benjamin comes in to see Shawn Michaels and asks him about last week when Shawn wanted an attitude. That’s what Shelton gave him and now Shawn isn’t happy. Tonight, Shelton is qualifying for the Elimination Chamber and he hopes Shawn is there. Shelton hands Shawn a copy of Shawn’s book to show him….I’m not sure actually.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Shelton jumps him at the bell to start and Carlito is stomped to the floor early on. Back in and a quick belly to belly drops Carlito again. Shelton follows him to the floor for some clotheslines but Carlito rams him into the apron. Back in again and the Backstabber drops Shelton, followed by a backbreaker to keep the focus strong.

The Boston crab is broken up in a hurry and Shelton hits a Samoan drop into some clotheslines. A sunset flip connects but Carlito grabs the referee to get a slight delay. Carlito hits him in the back but walks into the exploder….for no cover. Instead Shelton grabs the apple and takes a bite, allowing Carlito to small package him for the pin.

Rating: C-. What does it say that Shelton is moving up in the world by having a reason for him to lose? This just keeps getting worse and worse but for some reason WWE doesn’t see much in Shelton. I’m not a big Carlito guy but in this case, he’s the right choice to put into the match. Granted the match might not be the best idea, though that has never stopped them before.

Trevor Murdoch talks to Vince about being the GM. Vince throws him out for having tobacco and moves on to find Candice Michelle. The word position is mentioned several times and lingerie is revealed. Kurt Angle storms in and Vince is ready to kill him as we go to a break.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn gets thrown into the corner to start and has to chop his way out of a chokeslam attempt. A low bridge puts Show on the floor but he catches the dive and throws Shawn back in. The big elbow misses so Show goes with the bearhug instead. That’s broken up so Shawn chops away, only to have the forearm pulled out of the air.

Rating: C+. Shawn was moving out there and had you believing that this could go either way, which is hard to do in about five and a half minutes. The ending sets up a match at No Year’s Revolution and gave us a few entertaining minutes of action. Not too bad, but Shawn can make something work out of almost any situation.

Kurt demands a title match against Cena tonight but Vince reminds him that this isn’t Eric Bischoff’s Raw anymore. Instead, Vince gives Cena a You Can’t See Me match against Daivari, meaning Cena will be blindfolded. Oh and you can disrespect the troops and Larry Bird, but NEVER interrupt him. Angle and Daivari leave so Vince can admire Candice’s magic wand (minus Candice).

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Chris Masters vs. Viscera

Masters powers him into the corner but Viscera comes out with a slam. An elbow gives Viscera two and he falls on top of Masters for daring to try a slam of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t work as Viscera drives him into the corner, setting up a side slam. A Samoan drop puts him down as well, only to have Masters drop toehold him into the corner. The Masterlock to a kneeling Viscera is good for the submission.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t too bad all things considered. Who would have expected anything from these two? Masters getting the hold on Viscera was kind of impressive and the match wound up being a decent enough power showdown. I still don’t see Masters as anything more than a midcarder, but like Carlito, he’s the right choice at this point.

Smackdown Rebound.

Trish Stratus went to talk to Mickie James but Mickie tells a story about growing up watching wrestling with her grandfather. He took her to Wrestlemania X7 where Trish stood up to Vince McMahon (Mickie: “You were totally sleeping with him!”) and then he died soon after. Now she has a #1 contenders match and might get to be in the ring with Trish! Mickie starts crying and Trish suddenly can’t remember what she came here for. Sounds like a delayed breakup.

Here’s Matt Striker to teach us something. His blackboard says Family Values, which have been forgotten. Like working mothers. What happened to mothers who did work when they weren’t on their back? Striker wants to know where the fathers are, but here in Massachusetts, they’re probably marrying each other.

Striker brings up the gay marriage law in Massachusetts and says “that’s the sort of thing that is ruining our country.” The people here are uneducated and that’s where he comes in. He’ll be your father figure! There’s a line in there that wasn’t good when it aired and has aged even more horribly. That would be “Here’s Matt Striker.”

Chris Nowinski and Dusty Rhodes both apply to be General Manager.

Victoria vs. Mickie James

The winner gets Trish, on commentary, for the title at New Year’s Revolution. Victoria starts fast with the spinning side slam for two but a standing moonsault hits knees. Mickie slugs away to knock her into the corner as Trish sounds nervous about the idea of facing Trish. Victoria comes back with a quickly broken Boston crab so it’s the MickieDT to give Mickie the pin and make Trish a little more anxious.

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have the time to go anywhere and that’s fine. You’re only going to get so much out of a short match like this, which is even more frustrating when these two are capable of doing more. The women’s division has been three people for a long time now and that needs to change. I mean it probably won’t, but it should.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: HHH vs. Kane

HHH charges into a clothesline to start and Kane hammers away in the corner. The big choke has HHH in more trouble so he goes to the knee. Kane whips him over the corner for the big crash to the floor though and we take a break. Back with HHH hitting a spinebuster but the sleeper is broken in a hurry.

The powerslam sends HHH down again but HHH rolls outside before the top rope clothesline can launch. Back in and the facebuster connects, only to have Kane kick the referee down by mistake. The distraction lets HHH pull out the sledgehammer but here’s the Big Show. Kane gets back up and it’s a double chokeslam for the slow three.

Rating: C-. This was another storyline match but at least they had some time to make it work out a little better. HHH vs. Big Show is a fine enough match, but it’s a little strange to see a Tag Team Champion in a singles match. Much like the women’s division, it’s not like Kane and Show have much competition though so there aren’t many other options.

John Cena vs. Daivari

Non-title, only Cena is blindfolded and yep that’s a major hometown pop. Daivari claps to get Cena’s attention and Cena misses a charge. A slap to the back of the head annoys Cena again and Daivari even talks some trash. Believe it or not that’s not a good idea as Cena gets in a shot to the face. Cena starts pointing for the YES/NO chants from the crowd but Angle gets in a cheap shot. Cena catches Daivari anyway though and it’s the STFU for the fast tap.

Rating: D. These matches almost never work but the fans helping Cena here and keeping it short made this a lot easier to get through. Angle vs. Cena has been done for weeks now though and I really don’t need to see any more of it, even an offshoot like this. At least the hometown boy wins for once though, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a theme show and those can be hit and miss. They did what they needed to do for the Chamber though and that’s a good thing. There were a few other things going on and those feuds are only decent. I’ll give them points for having SOMETHING during the December lull though, as that isn’t often the case. Not a bad show, but it was almost all about one idea and if you didn’t care for it, you weren’t getting much out of this.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6