IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We’re in the In Your House era now and if you’ve read my reviews of the earlier ones, you know what my thoughts are on the booking that was going on in this era. If you haven’t, go read them now you lazy jerks. Dang people trying to just read what comes later and avoid all of the intellectual labor. Anyway, we’re in 1995 and the business is at a seemingly dead end.

No one really knows where to go right now and it would take Hogan’s shocking turn in about 11 months to change everything. Hall and Nash are clearly almost on their way out at this point, which is interesting as they’re both in the singles title matches tonight. Now if you want proof that the business has no idea where to go, think about it. We’re at the point now where your big matches are a rematch of what was a big deal….a year and a half ago, and Diesel vs. Mabel.

Yes, that’s your main event: Diesel vs. Mabel. Bret Hart is fighting an evil dentist, and Barry Horowitz has a match on a pay per view. Think about that for a few minutes while we dig into what is considered one of the worst PPVs ever, Summerslam 1995. Side note: Nitro debuted 8 days after this.

Standard intro talking about the two big matches. Oh and Shawn is a face now. In the back we have Dean Douglas who is critiquing the matches tonight. For those of you that don’t know, Douglas was Matt Striker done properly.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Apparently Kid is from Minnesota, Minneapolis which is a place that’s known for it’s cheap heat. Yeah that joke makes no sense to me either so just go with it. Kid more or less botches jumping into the ring so he must have gotten genuine Columbian cocaine today. Hakushi lost a match to Barry Horowitz earlier in the day so take that for what it’s worth. This is actually a pretty good match so far with some very nice back and forth stuff going on.

Waltman really isn’t that bad against other cruiserweights. The heel is completely dominating as we have a lot of smarks in the crowd who are cheering him. He’d turn face soon enough so that’s all well and good. Lawler insults the Kid and the Pittsburgh fans, which isn’t really that hard to do. He sends Kid to the floor with a SWEET looking back kick. Kid makes his comeback which is actually pretty good. It’s a lot of interesting looking high flying stuff that works really well for someone of his size etc.

Eventually he goes for a spinwheel kick and gets caught in a suplex/powerbomb kind of move for the pin. I really like that ending as it made sense to have Kid keep going for bigger and bigger moves before finally getting caught. That’s a nice little touch to end on.

Rating: B. This was a very solid opener I thought. It was fast paced and exciting as both guys were jumping all over the place and it just flowed really well. The fans were into it which isn’t saying much as this is a very hot crowd to say the least. Good choice for an opener.

In the back, Mabel says that he won’t tell Doc what his surprise is for later.

HHH vs. Bob Holly

Holly is still the racecar guy here while it’s still very early in HHH’s WWF career. He’s been here about 4 months at this time so this is easily his biggest match to date against his toughest opponent. Lawler says that HHH is the kind of guy that eats Kentucky Fried Quail. Is that an insult or a compliment? Anyway, there’s a natural heel thing about HHH that works so well with this blueblood character.

Just about everyone that he would face would have a culture clash with him because who doesn’t hate some rich guy that thinks he’s better than you? BREAKING NEWS! The British Bulldog is here! This is apparently shocking and terrible as he turned heel last week, attacking Diesel. How can something like this happen? A WWF wrestler that’s a pretty big star coming to a WWF event? Yes folks, anything can happen in the WWF, even a guy coming to work.

We of course go split screen to show Smith walking. Oh my goodness, get these people an Emmy blast it! Even being the rich guy vs. the redneck, this is a very boring match. There’s no drama to it at all as Holly just isn’t that good and HHH doesn’t know how good he is yet. Imagine telling Vince back then that HHH would not only be a ten time world champion but also his son in law and the heir to the throne. After about 8 minutes of pure boredom, HHH wins with a not yet perfected pedigree.

Rating: D+. This is just flat out boring. No one wanted to see it and it’s more or less a glorified squash match. Where’s the fun in that? In my eyes, there’s very little indeed. Seriously, why was this on Summerslam again? Did they not have anything better that they could have put on here? They spent half the time talking about Smith so even the announcers didn’t care.

We see a video talking about the WWF vs. Pittsburgh firefighters in a tug of war for some charity thing. Bam Bam, Mabel, Henry Godwin and Savio? Something just doesn’t fit in there. It’s for charity so I can’t make any jokes about it really.

Smoking Guns vs. Blu Brothers

Blu Brothers were later known as DOA, Creative Control, Harris Brothers and I think the Bruise Brothers. They’re twins so this works really well s it’s easy to get heel heat by just switching. The Cowboys are just flat out boring. They’re ok in the ring but DANG they’re bland.

This is pretty much a tag version of the previous match as no one is interested and it feels like a weak house show match. It’s about 5 minutes long and is just a heel domination leading to the hot tag and the faces hitting the Sidewinder to end it. That’s all there is to it and no one could care less at all.

Rating: D. This was even worse than HHH’s match as it just doesn’t fit on Summerslam at all. It’s a bland match that feels like it belongs at a house show on its best day. Why would someone want to pay for something like this?

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

This is actually kind of a cool story. Horowitz for those of you that don’t know is one of the biggest jobbers of all time, ranking up there with the Brooklyn Brawler. He hadn’t won a match in years yet somehow kept a job. Anyway, one night he pinned Skip when he wasn’t paying attention. A week later he somehow gets credit for another win after going to a time limit draw. For some reason, that warrants a match here at Summerslam.

Can someone explain to me why this is happening and not maybe a tag title match? It’s the second biggest show of the year, Raw has long since been established as the A show, and In Your House has debuted. Do we really need to give these guys, a relative newcomer and a jobber time on Summerslam, but not the world tag team titles? Sunny is Skip’s manager and I’m convinced she’s an alien. No human could be that hot.

Anyway, they start hot as Barry is wearing suspenders to go with his tights. They’re gone in about 8 seconds so what was the point of them? This is actually a pretty good match with some nice technical stuff. Sunny is sent to the back, causing 75% of male viewers to change the channel. For some reason she doesn’t leave which is a good thing. Candido is impressing me actually. His offense is very crisp and sharp with no botches or anything like that.

He passed away at only 33 and he was already an established veteran so he would certainly still be active today. Skip hits his diving headbutt finisher but pulls him up at the last second which even Lawler says is a bad idea. As he’s doing this, for no apparent reason, Hakushi comes out and distracts Skip. This allows Horowitz to roll him up for the small package while Skip’s hand is very close to Barry’s package.

Rating: B. This was a very good match. The story was fine and the in ring work was very good. There’s no noticeable botches or anything like that and you get an excellent feel good moment. However, I have to ask again: is this more important than a tag title match? Even a squash tag match would be fine, but there’s no need to have these two get 10 minutes plus at Summerslam.

Dean Douglas says that Horowitz didn’t deserve to win.

Todd says that Barry should have won and shows a short clip from the ladder match. Shawn comes in and says he’ll win no matter what.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Now THIS is one of the weirdest characters of all time. Weighing in at 230 pounds, Faye was just an ugly fat woman that Harvey Whippleman was in love with. She wore a skirt that showed her underwear and was fat. That’s about it. What was the point or thought behind this character? We’ve been trying to figure that out ever sense. Her song was called Sweet Loving Arms if that tells you anything. They did everything they could to make Blayze a big deal and it just never worked once.

This is a pretty short match which is likely good. Blayze of course knows some martial arts because every diva is skilled with them right? How many women use a kick as a major point of their offense?

Anyway, Alundra (how odd of a name is that anyway?) hits a bunch of kicks and big moves but she can’t beat the big fat chick, leading to the worst sitout powerbomb of all time and as the champion gets her shoulder up at 2, the three comes down and we have a new champion. She and Harvey celebrate in the aisle after the match.

Rating: D+. Oy vey this was bad. Neither was incredibly skilled in this match, which wasn’t fair as both could actually wrestle pretty well. Faye was a comedy character and Blayze would get the belt back in about two months or so. This was a waste of time though and wasn’t entertaining at all.

Recap of Taker vs. Kama, which was a pretty bad feud. Kama, aka the Godfather, stole his urn at Mania and made it into a necklace. He then beat up the creatures of the night, causing this to become a casket match. They did this at an In Your House show as a dark match which wasn’t that good. This has more time and is on a bigger stage, so maybe this is better.

Paul Bearer and Taker say Kama is in trouble.

Casket Match: Kama vs. Undertaker

Kama still works for DiBiase at this point. Hmm Taker in a violent gimmick match in Pittsburgh. Same thing happened later on in the Mankind Cell match. Kama of course isn’t afraid, as no heel has been in forever. Well at least in the beginning this is far better. What this should be is more or less Kozlov vs. Taker, and that’s what we’re getting. Kama is hammering him with big power strikes and Taker is absorbing them.

Kama is showing fear of the coffin so we’re getting inside his head too. This is light years ahead of what we had last month at In Your House. Taker goes to the floor and DiBiase kicks at him, leading to Bearer taking his jacket off to fight Ted. That is something I’d pay to see. Ted having been retired for awhile and likely out of shape vs. Paul Bearer. Oh my goodness that would be funny.

Kama suplexes him onto the closed casket. I can’t imagine a back injury in a casket match with Taker can you? The Rest In Peace chant really is awesome here. This is kind of standard Taker stuff, which means that it’s going just fine. Taker gets beaten down, then makes his comeback.

They both go inside the big wooden box at the same time and Kama crawls out, giving us the dragging him back under visual that Shawn made famous at the 98 Rumble. Eventually it’s tombstone and the dark box for Kama to give Taker the win.

Rating: B-. I was liking this. Kama is the perfect kind of heel to feed to Taker. He’s big and strong with good fighting skills, which makes it easy for Taker to fight him off and look good doing it. This was a long feud for Taker but no one really put much thought into it. All it really was supposed to do was keep him busy until he could move onto something big, which he did as he started feuding with Mable for a few months before moving on to Diesel soon after that.

We hit the recap button on Bret vs. Isaac Yankem, who is just an agent of Lawler to try to fight Bret. Some of the lines by Todd here are great. “Lawler did what he does best: got somebody else to fight his battles for him.” “He went out and got someone else to fight for him. He got a dentist.”

“Yankem was a demented tooth fairy.” You know, for all that Bret and Kane have done for the WWF, this might be their best stuff. Think about it: Kane is a crazed dentist which sounds like a bad horror movie. Wow, See No Evil 2 here we come! Anyway, Bret is the guy that has to fight a crazed dentist. How over the top can you get?

Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem

Isaac is from Decatur, Illinois. That just sounds funny to me for some reason. Hart says he’s tired of Lawler, and asks if a chiropractor is next. That made me laugh. No sweet leather jacket for Hart which sucks. This is another good matchup for Hart as he’s against a big guy that he can take down after getting beaten up. That’s a nice thing to get going which always works well. Taker is apparently on the Superstar line. That’s just a funny thing to imagine.

Crowd is WAY into Bret here. This is a pretty good back and forth match for the early part as they hammer on each other with Bret slowly breaking Isaac down but Kane hitting a power move to stop Bret dead in his tracks. Eventually the big guy takes over and works Bret into the ground pretty well. Bret has a sweet counter for this neck pull move that’s hard to describe. Basically Bret back flips out of it. It’s really cool looking.

The referee grabs Isaac by the hair and pulls him away which is just not smart. It makes the wrestler look bad because a referee is manhandling them and it’s just not professional. You can hear that Vince is seriously ticked off over it. Yep he’s fired. Anyway, this is mainly over the kiss my foot match that Lawler and Hart had where Lawler had to kiss not only Bret’s foot but his own.

He says it was like kissing a hog with halitosis, which is horrible. Also, Lawler sells sea shells by the seashore for six cents on Saturdays. They’re on the floor for awhile which is just more time for Hart to get beaten up as Isaac looks good. Kane even does a very short walk of the top rope to land a leg drop to the back of Bret’s head as he was hanging over the top rope.

DAng why hasn’t he done that since? Wow has Kane really been in the WWF nearly 15 years? That’s almost hard to believe if you think about it. Finally Hart has had ENOUGH and throws a suicide dive and beats the heck out of Isaac. Sharpshooter leads to Lawler helping Isaac get out which he more or less had to do. He’s now a manager instead of a commentator so Vince is on his own.

Oh this isn’t going to go well. Brea beats on him for a bit, drawing a mad pop from the crowd, but allowing Kane to hit a double axe from the top to save the King. Lawler eventually grabs Bret’s foot and tries to pull him out as Isaac helps him. This causes the referee to FINALLY DQ them after counting to six. They hang Bret between the top and middle ropes and pull on him which has to hurt badly.

Instead of just going in reverse of what got Bret in that position, the suits that run down decide to shove Bret’s head through the ropes, hurting him even worse. Did they not pay attention to Foley losing an ear in a similar thing? Oh he’s fine though. Being this close to Canada gives Bret his super human powers. It’s kind of like the sun with Superman, but Bret could take him in Canada.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good, but it was in essence a handicap match. While that’s all well and good, this should have been Bret vs. Lawler for one big and final blowoff match, maybe in a cage. Yeah I think that would have worked just fine. Kane was a good enough choice, but the focus was more on Lawler, which hurt things a bit. Either way, the stuff in the ring was very good and this was a solid 15 or so minute match.

IC Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

No transition here or anything at all other than the Razor promo. It’s the rematch of the ladder match. It doesn’t need much of an explanation so there we go. Shawn climbs the ladder in the aisle to stare down Razor which is a semi-famous image, or at least it was back then. Vince telling someone to get down is just wrong on so many levels.

They raise up the belt which is something you don’t often see. Doc Hendrix jumps in on commentary. Vince says that you would have to be Andre the Giant with a jetpack to reach the belt. Or you could just get a ladder but who am I to argue. Doc offers up a surprising stat: only once in Summerslam history up to that point, in 1993, did the IC Title not change hands. Hey he’s good for something.

Shawn says lift it up and there’s the bell. They slug it out to start and both guys escape finishers. Shawn is knocked to the floor and then stops Razor from getting the ladder. Why? Shawn has to bring it back also doesn’t he? Razor blocks Shawn’s suplex and suplexes him to the floor. I love that move. Not sure why but I always have. Either that or it just sounds good and I’m trying to fill in space.

Both finishers miss again and we get a double clothesline to give them a breather. Razor gets to the ladder which is enough for Vince to say he’ll win. Sid, the guy that gets the winner, is watching in the back. Shawn gets the ladder and control but it’s not like the match is ending anytime soon so the drama isn’t there at all.

Down goes the ladder and Shawn and he might have hurt his knee. Oh that’s funny. Shawn’s knee never gets hurt. The fans aren’t sure if they like what Razor is doing here or not. Shawn is more or less dead and falls as Razor tries to send him into the ladder. This is a much more psychological based match than before but they have some experience this time so that might have something to do with it.

Razor has been dominating for a good while here. No attempt at going for the belt yet though which doesn’t really surprise me. Lots of leg work which is logical. Shawn manages to send Razor to the floor but another knee shot takes away any kind of advantage Shawn may have gotten. Razor is wrestling heel here and it’s working pretty well. Granted that’s his natural style so it’s easy for him.

He goes up but Shawn literally makes a diving save to send him down. Doc declares this the greatest match he’s ever seen. It’s good but seriously, the best you’ve ever seen? That might be a stretch dude. Then again given how many drugs he probably did this might be the only match he can remember seeing. Shawn suplexes Razor off the ladder and everyone is down.

Razor eats ladder in the corner and Shawn takes over. Shawn goes up and hits a moonsault press. It kind of misses but it was close enough to still look ok. A splash from the top of the ladder misses and everyone is down. They slug it out on dop of the ladder and a headbutt from Razor sends both guys flying down. Doc says Ted and Sid have to be dancing in the streets. Or they could be watching in the bac on a monitor but same thing I guess.

Shawn charges with the ladder but goes through the ropes to the floor. Razor is like screw this and gets a second ladder. He finally gets the Edge off the ladder and both guys are down again. If there’s one criticism here it’s that they’re staying down for too many long stretches of time. Granted I can totally understand them needing a break.

Vince wants to know which one is the legal ladder. Is there a ladder checking team that I’m not aware of? Both guys climb up a ladder at the same time and Shawn gets more or less Sweet Chin Music to knock Razor off. And then like an IDIOT he jumps at the belt and misses completely, crashing down onto the mat. Shawn sends him to the floor and climbs again, getting his hands on the belt but just not grabbing it. He goes up again and gets it so I’d think the second one was just a slip or something.

Rating: B+. While not as good as their initial match, this is indeed an excellent one. The problem here is simple: how do you follow the greatest gimmick match of all time to that point, especially with the same two guys in it? Every spot you can look at and say it was better the first time or that wasn’t as good as the one you did last year.

That’s the issue they’re facing here, so while this is good, by comparison it just isn’t as solid of a match, which can mainly be attributed to the expectations they had coming into this match I think.

In the back Dean Douglas has a few choice words to say about the “Bad Guy”. This leads to Ramon coming in and beating him up, kickstarting their feud which would actually be Ramon’s last in the company before heading to WCW.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Mabel

Please help me get through this. Mabel won the KOTR because Vince got really high one night and decided he wanted to see how well he could screw up Summerslam, so he gives us this. Let’s see, how many other options were there that are better than this? Maybe every single person on the roster? Are you telling me you couldn’t have thrown someone like Owen Hart maybe in there? He would have at least given a decent match.

The problem here is simple: Mabel is too freaking fat for Diesel to muscle around like he’s always done, and it’s going to throw Diesel off his game. Therefore, you have a champion off his game and a big man that can’t do crap. Does this sound like a good equation to anyone at all? Mabel comes to the ring as KOTR with Sir Mo. Oh yes I can see the greatness so clearly here. Vince talks about how Bulldog and Luger are here.

Ooh, why did we not have either of those as a good main event? Oh I remember. We had to use that at In Your House instead of here where it would actually matter. Luger of course would be back in WCW 8 freaking days later after infamously having been in WWF one night and debuting for WCW the next night on the debut episode of Nitro, which when you think about it is absolutely brilliant and an amazing move.

Mabel looks like an idiot with that crown. In case you can’t tell, I hate this freaking match. We keep hearing about the royal plan. Oh yes, Mabel is clearly an evil genius. Give me a break Vince. Mabel starts on offense and Diesel gets beaten up. Soon thereafter we switch that up and put Mabel on offense as I have my family hide all sharp or blunt objects to keep me from hurting myself.

Shockingly enough, Diesel can’t do much other than punch and clothesline him, mainly because it’s the only offense he can use without getting a hernia. Oh yeah, Mabel is wearing his shiny purple and gold ensemble here. Mable eventually gets back in control and as I was waiting on, he sits on Diesel. He puts his hands on Nash’s face but doesn’t pull back, yet somehow it’s called a chinlock.

This goes on for EIGHTY FOUR SECONDS. Yes, I get that Mable needs a rest in there as after 5 minutes someone of his gravitational pull would get tired. HOWEVER, a minute and a half is WAY too much to have a fat guy sitting on his opponent. That’s all he’s doing: high impact sitting. Moe comes in of course and gets beaten up. Apparently this is the great and mighty royal plan: get your manager/tag partner/fellow homeless guy to beat on Diesel.

Oh my lord my feeble brain can’t comprehend such intricate and complex thoughts! Luger runs in for the save as I think the referee has sought out psychiatric help after having to stand out there and put up with this nonsense for ten minutes. Oh wait here’s part 2 of the plan: a leg drop on the floor! Luger beats up Moe, proving that he’s indeed smarter than a 5th grader.

The referee returns from rehab long enough to count a two on Diesel. Mabel jumps off the second rope in his attempt to change the rotation of the Earth but misses a splash. This combined with what’s called a clothesline from the second rope but is more Diesel jumping on Mable lead to the slowest count of all time and a succ…..a succ… I’m sorry but there was nothing successful about this match at all. Diesel keeps the belt let’s go with that. He poses with the belt to close us out.

Rating: F+. Do I really need to explain this one any further? I hate this match and I hate Nelson Frazier, who is easily one of the worst “wrestlers” of all time in my eyes.

Overall Rating: F. This was a hard one for me, but overall the good moments of this show just can’t get out from underneath the epicness of the nonsense on the card. Hakushi/Kid and Horowitz/Skip are actually quite good matches. I was impressed with them. However, there is no way you can justify having those two plus HHH and the Guns’ squashes all be on this show.

You have a 9 match card and I could see at the very most, four belonging on a major show: the opener because you simply need a hot opener to set the stage which that one certainly meets the requirements for, the Hart/Isaac match, Taker and Kama, and the ladder match. Of the two in the middle, they could have easily been altered to put Hart and Lawler together. The second and third matches are just wastes of time, plain and simple.

The HHH match I can kind of see the point in as it gives an up and coming star a PPV match to get himself over. I can almost come to validate that one, but not by much. The Guns’ match however has no business on a PPV, none. The next match was one of the best in ring matches of the night, but I ask again: WHY IS BARRY HOROWITZ WRESTLING AT SUMMERSLAM???

Women’s match was bad but since it’s a title match it can be justified I suppose, and then the main event I’ve already vented on. I’m sorry, but an opener, a ladder match that’s an inferior version of a match from a year and a half ago and two above average midcard matches simply are not enough to sell a PPV for me.

This show is just a flat out failure. It has its moments and would have been passable as a much lower level show, but this is unacceptable as the second biggest show of the year, which is saying how bad WWF was at this time when you had this and Mania 11, perhaps the worst of all time, as your big shows. This was horrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This is the old review of the year and that’s an interesting choice. The show has a double main event of WWF World Champion Bret Hart defending against his brother Owen to continue their awesome feud, plus the wholly unawesome Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker match. It’s the best of both worlds you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Randy Savage to welcome us to the show, held in the brand new United Center. Somehow, this is the only pay per view the company has ever run from the arena.

Jerry Lawler has some breaking news: Shawn Michaels and Diesel have become the new Tag Team Champions after defeating the Headshrinkers last night. What an odd time to do a title change, but 1994 was an odd time.

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

IRS and Bigelow have Ted DiBiase in their corner and this was originally going to be a title match. The Headshrinkers (Samu/Fatu) have Afa and Lou Albano with them, just to crank up the bizarre state of the show so far. Bigelow runs Fatu (not Samu Vince, though to be fair it’s a pretty easy mistake to make) over with a shoulder but eats the superkick for two. Fatu avoids a very early top rope headbutt and a double superkick puts Bigelow down again. Samu comes in, so Vince says Samu is now in, after saying Samu started.

Vince really wasn’t great at this whole thing. Samu starts cleaning house and ducks an IRS charge to send him outside. Back in and Bigelow low bridges Fatu to the floor but it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. The hot(ish) tag brings Samu back in for a BAAAACK body drop and a headbutt to Bigelow, which works because Samoans have hard heads. The middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS with Bigelow making a save. With Bigelow being knocked to the floor, the double Stroke sets up the Superfly Splash but Bigelow goes after Albano. That’s enough to draw Afa in for the DQ at 7:18.

Rating: D+. Pretty lame opener here with the lack of the titles taking away the little interest this match had. The Headshrinkers are good in their roles but Bigelow and IRS are a pretty generic team who don’t have much to do here. I’m still not sure what the point is in having the titles change early. Why not just do it the next night on Raw?

They brawl to the back.

And now, for your comedy of the show. The detectives from the Naked Gun movies are trying to find the Undertaker, complete with a bunch of puns and sight gags. Such gems include “we’re both on the case” as they stand on a briefcase.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Blayze is defending and Nakano has Luna Vachon in her corner. For those of you of a younger age, Nakano is a rather terrifying Japanese monster and Blayze’s archnemesis. We get the ceremonial flower presentation but Vachon throws hers at Blayze to really be a jerk. Nakano kicks her in the ribs instead of shaking hands but it’s too early for a powerbomb. A knee to the ribs cuts the champ off and Nakano throws her down by the hair.

We hit the chinlock (with Nakano’s back to the camera because she doesn’t know how to work) until Blayze makes the rope, which isn’t an escape you see that often. The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Nakano pulls her down into a Boston crab with both legs under one arm. With that broken up, Nakano puts on what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock.

Since Blayze hasn’t been tortured enough yet, Nakano switches to a cross armbreaker. Back up and three straight running sleeper drops have Nakano in trouble but she powers out of a piledriver attempt. A powerbomb gets two on the champ as the pace has picked WAY up out of nowhere. Blayze avoids the guillotine legdrop though, kicks Vachon down and grabs the German suplex to retain at 8:17.

Rating: B. For 1994, this was some insane stuff in America, especially for a women’s match. Blayze really was good but Nakano was one of the best of the era. She was big, strong, could wrestle on the mat and had the submission skills to be that dominant. Unfortunately these two pretty much the entire division for a long time so it could only go so far.

Shawn Michaels and Diesel brag about winning the titles because the Heartbreak Hotel needed some more gold. Diesel says Razor Ramon isn’t taking one of his two titles tonight. Razor has had a bunch of chances and tonight isn’t going to change anything.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Razor is challenging and has NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton in his corner to balance out Shawn. The white boots are a weird look for Razor. Shawn talks trash to Payton to start and Razor fires off the right hands, which look very good against someone Diesel’s size. Back in after a quick trip to the floor and Diesel gets in his own punches to take over. A sleeper slows Razor down even more and Diesel throws him outside.

Shawn goes for the turnbuckle pad but Payton chases him off, allowing Shawn to forearm Razor behind the referee’s back. I could watch Shawn outsmart people for days. Back in again and the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle but Shawn’s second distraction allows Razor to be whipped in. Diesel hits Snake Eyes onto an unexposed buckle as Lawler thinks the pad fell off the other one. A chinlock with a knee to the back keeps Razor in trouble and a big boot knocks his head off.

We hit the abdominal stretch, which at least looks more painful than a chinlock with a knee in the back. Diesel grabs the rope, making me wish we had Bobby Heenan there to explain why it’s more to avoid a hiptoss counter than to add more leverage. Razor gets out and sends Diesel ribs first into the exposed buckle, sending Lawler into hysterics as it should.

The middle rope bulldog (the Hall Buster) gets two and there’s a right hand to knock Shawn off the apron for a great over the top sell. A flying shoulder gives Diesel a breather so Shawn goes after the belt. Payton goes after him again and of course the referee yells, allowing Shawn to superkick Diesel by mistake. Shawn gets pulled outside and Razor finally crawls over for the pin to get the title back at 15:01.

Rating: B-. I’ve always had a mixed reaction to this one as the match itself is pretty good but Payton being out there was just a celebrity cameo that could have been anyone. Razor getting the title back was the right call as Shawn and Diesel are already having issues. They could have cut a few minutes out here, but what we got was still good enough and didn’t get sunk by the extra time.

Diesel yells at Shawn all the way to the back.

Savage talks about what we just saw.

Lex Luger and Tatanka are in the back. A fan poll has 54% saying that Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase and Tatanka is tired of hearing Luger deny it. We see a montage of DiBiase and Luger getting very close, but Luger still swears there’s nothing going on because DiBiase is lying. Tatanka is going to prove his story in the ring tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

There’s no DiBiase to start. Feeling out process to start with Luger running him over but not following up. Tatanka’s armbar has no effect so Luger puts him down again, only to miss the jumping elbow (as always). That means we get more of Tatanka’s lame offense, including the top rope chop to the head. The second attempt gets punched out of the air and Luger starts in with the clotheslines. Cue DiBiase with a gym bag as Luger hits a powerslam. DiBiase pulls money out of the bag as Luger yells at him, allowing Tatanka to grab a rollup for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline instead of the wrestling and that’s not surprising. Neither Luger nor Tatanka were going to have a good match at this point so the story was the only way this was going to work. Tatanka was a fine midcard hand but if he had even a slightly better offense, he could have been a much bigger deal. There comes a point where you need the wrestling to back up the character and that just wasn’t the case for him.

Post match Luger kicks the money out of DiBiase’s hands so Tatanka jumps him from behind, revealing that he sold out. I’ve always liked that story, as bad as the match was. What I don’t like is how long this goes on, as Tatanka beats him up three different times, capped off by the Million Dollar Dream. We get the money in Luger’s mouth for a little old school touch.

Gorilla Monsoon is aghast at what we just saw. Agreed. That money must be filthy.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is going to be a disaster. During the entrances, Vince and Jerry debate the detectives’ skills and if Lawler has any rhythm. Mabel tosses away a wristlock attempt (Jarrett’s sell is quite good) and drops the big elbow when Jarrett tries a drop down. A clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor so he shoves the rapping Oscar. That’s not going to get him booed as Oscar isn’t very good. Back in and Jeff scores with some middle rope ax handles but Mabel crushes him in the corner.

The spinwheel kick (the one good thing that Mabel could do) gets two as Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (the Brooklyn Brawler as a baseball player) is on strike in the crowd. This adds nothing and isn’t funny or interesting, but it’s a thing that happens. Sounds like 1994 as a whole. They head outside with Oscar getting in a slap and Mabel splashing Jeff against the post. Back in and the middle rope splash misses, followed by a missed sitdown splash to give Jeff the pin at 5:57.

Rating: F. Oh what were you expecting here? Mabel was fat and useless while Jarrett wasn’t exactly someone who was going to carry anyone at this point, especially someone that big. This should have been on Raw at best and comes off as terrible filler here. Mainly because that’s what it was.

Vince introduces the detectives in the aisle, blowing their cover. Undertaker’s silhouette appears in the entrance but they don’t see him. Because they’re bad at their jobs you see.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. This started way back in 1993 when Owen was the only Hart eliminated at the Survivor Series, which he blamed on Bret. Owen and Bret then teamed up to try and win the Tag Team Titles, but Bret wouldn’t tag out when injured, leading to a referee stoppage.

They went on to have a classic at Wrestlemania X with Owen pinning Bret clean. Bret won the WWF World Title later in the night and the feud was on for the rest of the summer. Owen even won the King of the Ring (just like his brother the previous year) to earn another title shot. Tonight is the big blowoff inside a cage. This really was a great feud as you could see Owen’s point all along and it built up perfectly over time.

Earlier today, Owen and crony Jim Neidhart (Bret’s former partner) were in the cage and promised to destroy Bret once and for all tonight.

Bret is going to forget they’re family tonight because Owen will be crying a river of tears, just like he did when he was a baby.

The Hart Family, including Davey Boy Smith, is at ringside and Helen can’t believe this is happening. Stu hopes the best wrestler wins and sounds as only he can. Lawler accuses both of them of causing all of this and thinks Smith will turn on Bret again. Lawler: “Wouldn’t you love to be in there with Bret again tonight?” Smith: “Uh, not really.” Neidhart is behind Smith and says we’ll see Owen prove that he’s the better man once and for all. Bruce Hart spins around and says stay out of this.

Bret, recovering from strep throat, says his condition won’t change anything tonight. What we’re going to see tonight is barbaric and nothing like what they did when they were kids. Everyone wants things to end tonight and Bret is going to finish it to heal his family.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Bret is defending in a cage with escape only to win. Owen goes right at him to start and hammers away during the entrances, followed by some hard right hands to the head. You can see Helen panicking over the whole thing and a DDT by Bret makes things even worse. It’s too early to escape though and Owen scores with some headbutts, followed by an enziguri to really rock Bret. He’s fine enough to suplex Owen off the cage and it’s a double knockdown.

Owen goes for the door so Bret bends him around the ropes for a save and drags him right back in. They’re setting up a good feel here with both of them going for the escape and being pulled back for more punishment. That ties in the idea of wanting to hurt each other but wanting to be the better man even more, which is really what this is all about. They both wind up on the top rope and slug it out with Owen knocking him down.

Instead of getting the easy climb out though, Owen comes back with a missile dropkick into a nipup. Both make some fast climbs up the cage but get pulled down for a crash each. A collision gives us another double knockdown as they’re taking their time building the drama, mainly because they’ve got the time to do so. It’s still too early for Owen to get out the door as Bret pulls him out, only to get pulled back down from the top for a hard crotching.

Bret is up fast enough for the headbutt between the legs but Owen pulls him down again. Owen gets closer to getting out than any other attempt yet, even getting his feet and legs out of the cage. Bret pulls him back in and sends Owen face first into the cage for a big knockdown. This time the climb is cut off by a belly to back superplex as the crashes and falls are getting bigger and bigger. A good piledriver plants Bret but he’s fine enough to catch a tired Owen again.

They both fall off the ropes this time for a breather until Bret catapults him face first into the cage. Owen has to literally dive over for a save and sends Bret into the cage, with the champ coming up holding his knee. The knee is fine enough to climb up and kick Owen away but he gets pulled back down by the arm.

Owen gets out again and you can feel the fans quiet down as he gets close. He’s pulled back in yet again and Bret kicks him down to the mat but it’s Owen’s turn for a last second save. Bret catches him in the corner and pulls Owen back down with a huge superplex (Bret always had a great one) and they’re both down again. Owen is up first with a Sharpshooter but Bret reverses into one of his own.

A little cranking has Owen down but, say it with me, he lunges over for the save by pulling Bret down hair first. They both climb and this time make it over the top, leaving them hanging on the side. Bret hits him in the ribs, causing Owen to slip and get tied up in the cage wall. That’s enough for Bret to drop down and retain at 32:18.

Rating: A+. I’ve had to say this about several Bret matches before but the wrestling isn’t the point here. This was all about telling a great story and that’s what we got. The thing to remember here is that they don’t hate each other but rather Owen wants to prove he’s better and Bret wants to shut Owen up. It explains why they weren’t trying to kill each other in what is usually a violent match. Instead, they were trying to win, which should be the case in most matches and especially one like this. Notice how the match ends: not with a big spot, but with Bret being one step better than Owen, which is the point of the feud.

It is slower paced and it does feel like they’re doing the same things over and over, but it’s a case of WHY they’re doing the same things over and over. They’re not trying to destroy each other and it really is about being the better man. Owen has gone off the deep end with trying to beat Bret, but it never felt like he wanted to hurt him. That might not make for the most exciting match, but it’s how things should have gone when you think about it.

Post match Neidhart jumps the barricade and clotheslines Davey, knocking him into his wife. Neidhart locks himself inside the cage and the double beatdown is on as Owen has completely snapped. The Hart Brothers storm the cage (always cool) but Owen keeps knocking them off. Davey finally punches Owen down (for a great bump) and gets in, sending Owen and Neidhart running as the rest of the brothers get inside as well.

In the back, Owen and Neidhart yell about how Owen should be the winner and Davey isn’t family. Owen: “Let’s go celebrate my victory!”

Survivor Series ad, making fun of football. Considering how meh that show was, I wouldn’t go that way.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Back in January, Undertaker was destroyed by about a dozen guys and put in a casket. Not to worry as he ascended out of the casket in one of the most ridiculous things you’ll ever see in wrestling. After being gone for several months (aside from some sightings, including by a young child in school), Ted DiBiase said he had seen Undertaker. Paul Bearer said no way but DiBiase brought him back, only to reveal that it was a fake Undertaker (played by Brian Adams, better known as Chainz). The lack of about three inches was a, ahem, dead giveaway.

With Undertaker succumbing to the power of money, Bearer went to the graveyard and said he had the real Undertaker again. After the lights went out one night on the King’s Court (Todd Pettengill: “Look at that brain surgeon Jerry Lawler.”), the real Undertaker said he was back and not with DiBiase. He would be around this coming Monday (at Summerslam) against whatever DiBiase had with him. This video gets well over five minutes as we need to get rid of the cage.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll identify them by the colors of their gloves: gray for the fake one and purple for the real. DiBiase brings his man to the ring but Bearer comes out with just a casket. There’s nothing inside though and the casket is wheeled to the back. Instead Bearer opens the Urn to reveal a light….and here’s the real Undertaker. That certainly seems to be worth the wait for the fans.

Purple shrugs off some forearms to the back and leapfrogs (!) gray, who falls to the floor. Gray stalks Bearer and gets suplexed back inside for his troubles, only to be sent right back to the floor. A Stunner over the top staggers Purple but Old School just isn’t happening. The real Old School connects and now Lawler believes Bearer has the real thing.

Purple misses a charge and falls to the floor as Vince defends the silent crowd. More right hands from gray don’t have much effect but a good looking chokeslam gets….no cover. Gray goes with a Tombstone for no cover again as he spends too long pointing at DiBiase. Purple hits a Tombstone of his own, followed by a second for good measure. A third finally gives purple the pin at 9:10.

Rating: F. Well what was that supposed to be? The biggest problem here is the match was really, really bad with the Tombstone being the only thing worthwhile from the fake Undertaker. That leaves you with about eight minutes of lumbering forearms and right hands as the fans had no idea what to make of anything because there was nothing to get excited about. This would have been much easier to sit through if it didn’t come after twenty minutes of build and a great cage match. For the life of me I’m not sure how they thought this was going to work, but it failed miserably.

Gray gets put in the casket and purple poses before the Urn’s flashlight.

Savage wraps the show up but throws it to the detectives, who find a briefcase. “The case is closed.” That ends the show. Summerslam mind you, ends on a sight gag. I remember watching this live and my dad tried to explain the joke to me because at six years old, this went flying over my head. What a great way to end a show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s certainly not the worst show as there’s enough good stuff to carry it past horrible, but my goodness they didn’t do themselves any favors here. There’s a reason that 1994 was one of the worst years in company history and this show was a good example. With the fake main event being such a mess, they’re lucky to have an instant classic in the real main event to bail it out. It’s watchable, but be ready to fast forward a lot.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2013 Redo: F

2018 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

I still don’t know how I got a B out of the main event before and I really liked the women’s match more this time around. Other than that, it’s about the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/07/30/summerslam-count-up-1994-the-last-great-cage-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed a lot in the last year. First and foremost, we’re living in Bret Hart’s WWF now as he regained the world title at Wrestlemania over Yokozuna, more or less vanquishing him once and for all. On that same show though, Bret’s brother Owen pinned him clean in the masterpiece of an opening match. Owen has chased the title all summer and tonight is his opportunity at it inside a steel cage. The other main event is the Undertaker vs. the Undertaker in a match that I want to put off talking about for as long as I can. Let’s get to it.

We open with highlights of the WWF softball team (that exists?) playing in a charity game against the Chicago media. Shawn of course plays without a shirt on. The video goes on for like five minutes with Monsoon doing commentary through every inning. Randy Savage, a former professional baseball player, hit a three run home run. The WWF won 9-7.

On to the actual wrestling tonight with Macho Man as Master of Ceremonies again. As Savage is posing in the ring, Lawler tells us that Diesel (currently Intercontinental Champion) and Shawn won the tag titles from the Headshrinkers last night in Indianapolis.

Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.

Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.

Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.

The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.

Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.

Everyone brawls up the aisle.

We now get to the white elephant of the show: Leslie Nielsen and his partner from the Naked Gun movies is here to solve the mystery of the Undertaker. See, Undertaker had disappeared after the Royal Rumble but had vowed to return. DiBiase had a fake Undertaker doing his bidding but the real one was supposed to return tonight.

WWF’s brilliant idea? Bring in some detectives from crime spoof movies to solve the case. Nielsen comes complete with inner monologues about what he’s doing and completely out of place jokes (Nielsen: “I’m on the case.” Partner: “We’re both on the case.” The camera pans down to show them both standing on a briefcase.). Don’t get me wrong: Leslie Nielsen is hilarious, but this isn’t what I want to see at the second biggest show of the year.

Razor Ramon is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back tonight from Diesel. He’ll have Chicago football legend Walter Payton in his corner tonight.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.

Blayze FINALLY makes the rope but Nakano pounds her right back down like she’s not even there. Bull starts a Sharpshooter but after turning Blayze over (Nakano doesn’t step over) she reaches down and pulls her up by the arms in a PAINFUL looking hold. Blayze finally gets an arm free to grab a rope but almost immediately Nakano has a modified cross armbreaker on the champion. Alundra FINALLY comes back with a hair takedown but Bull is easily out at two. Bull easily counters a powerbomb attempt and drops a knee for two, only to miss her guillotine legdrop finisher. Blayze hooks a quick German suplex to retain.

Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.

Shawn and Diesel brag about winning the tag titles but say Diesel will have no problem with Razor Ramon tonight. This is right around the time where the Kliq had taken over backstage and were basically running the company, hence them dominating the title scene.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn and Walter Payton are in the respective corners and Diesel is defending. The toothpick toss actually staggers Diesel and Ramon fires off right hands to start. A discus punch finally puts Diesel on the floor for a meeting with Shawn, likely over how they can get the WWF Title. Back in and Diesel uses the big man forearms to work on Razor’s back before taking him down with a big boot. There’s the corner leg choke but Razor comes back with more right hands.

The extra big man puts the big man in a sleeper but Razor comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Diesel comes right back by launching Razor out to the floor, allowing Shawn to untie a buckle pad. Payton finally goes after Shawn but the distraction lets Shawn clothesline Razor down. Back in again and the champion hits his elbows and knee lifts in the corner but the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle. The referee looks at Shawn like an idiot, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the buckle for two.

Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle puts Ramon down again and an elbow to the back gets two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back and a comeback attempt is countered by a boot to the face. Diesel hooks an abdominal stretch but eventually gets caught holding the top rope. Razor puts on an abdominal stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed down onto his bad back. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered into a rollup for two and Razor starts coming back with right hands.

The middle rope bulldog gets two on Diesel as the fans are getting louder and louder. The Jackknife is countered but Diesel suplexes him down before Razor can follow up. Shawn tries to bring in the belt but gets caught in a tug of war with Payton. The referee yells at Payton so Shawn tries a superkick but of course hits the champion. Payton pulls Shawn out and Ramon pins the out cold Diesel for the title.

Rating: C+. As political as the Kliq was, they could usually put on some solid matches. Razor was just big enough to make you believe he could go toe to toe with Diesel while still being small enough to look like an underdog. Payton was there as a celebrity and didn’t add a thing to the match at all. That superkick would set up years of stories, as Shawn and Diesel would start to disintegrate, which led to WM XI, which led to Shawn’s face turn, which led to everything up until Austin in a way.

Diesel rants about Shawn screwing up and blames him for the loss.

Shawn says he’ll get Diesel another shot and vows revenge on Payton. Don’t worry: Diesel would be world champion in three months.

Tatanka and Lex Luger are in the back where they hear the results of a WWF Hotline poll. 54% think Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase but he still denies it. Tatanka is convinced because of the times DiBiase has been watching Luger and the few times DiBiase has helped Luger win a match. Earlier today DiBiase went into Luger’s dressing room with a bag and that’s enough proof for Tatanka. Luger swears he didn’t sell out.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Jeff Jarrett is a country singer from Tennessee and Mabel is a 500lb+ monster in purple and gold. Mabel lumbers around like an oaf while Jarrett struts. Jarrett’s wristlock is easily thrown off so Mabel struts a bit. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor as we’re somehow two minutes into the match. Jeff trips Mabel from the floor to take him down and drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Some middle rope ax handles stagger Jarrett a bit but a third is caught in a bearhug.

A sleeper finally gets Mabel down but he drops Jeff into the corner to escape. The big man actually hits a spinwheel kick for two as Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, a baseball themed guy, is in the crowd with a sign saying he’s on strike. See, Major League Baseball was on strike at this point, and if we reference something that’s going on in the world, it’s funny, right? Mabel misses a middle rope splash but blocks a sunset flip attempt. He tries to drop onto Jeff’s chest but misses completely, allowing Jarrett to score the fluke pin.

Rating: D-. This was very dull as Jarrett had nothing to work with at all. Mabel was just so huge that it was almost impossible for anyone to do anything against him. Unfortunately for us Mabel would be pushed down our throats the next year, somehow main eventing the 1995 edition of the show. The match sucked.

The detectives are in the aisle, Undertaker pops up behind them, neither sees him, more PPV time is wasted.

We get a LONG recap of Bret vs. Owen. Owen had felt he was living in Bret’s shadow and turned on his entire family at the 1993 Survivor Series when he was the only member eliminated due to a mistake by Bret. Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles which appeased Owen for awhile, but at the Royal Rumble Bret wouldn’t tag out and the referee stopped the match due to his knee injury.

Owen snapped and kicked out Bret’s good leg, turning full heel in the process. He demanded a match with Bret at Wrestlemania and defeated him clean in the opening match. Bret won the title in the main event, so Owen wanted a shot at the title throughout the summer. Tonight is Owen’s big chance in a cage match.

Bret says his recent battle with strep throat won’t affect him tonight.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

It’s escape only to win. Owen jumps him as soon as Bret is inside the cage, raining down right hands in the corner. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as their parents are watching in the front row. Owen pulls Bret down as he tries to climb out before going for a climb of his own. Bret pulls him back down and goes for the door, only to be pulled back in as well. We’re still very early in the match at this point.

Bret keeps lunging for the door but Owen keeps pulling him back in. They swap the roles for the next turn but Owen still can’t escape. With the door closed Bret tries to climb out, only to be slammed off the cage wall. Owen climbs up and manages to get all the way out but he can’t get down on the floor before Bret makes a save. Owen is pulled back in and they fight on the top rope with Bret being knocked back into the ring. Instead of climbing out again though, Owen dropkicks Bret down and climbs again.

The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.

Bret punches Owen down again and drops an elbow but Owen makes another save. This time as Bret comes down though, he slams his knee into the mat to put him in real trouble. Neidhart, who has since turned on Bret and sided with Owen, is very pleased. Even though Bret is down, he isn’t down enough to stop Owen from leaving. He gets slammed down off the cage but Owen grabs a climbing Bret’s leg, pulling him back inside.

Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49^th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.

Back in and Bret slingshots his brother into the cage, rattling his brains even more. They both slowly get up and Owen is rammed face first into the cage. The problem is that as Bret rams him in, Bret rams his knee into the cage and injures it. The champion tries to get out but can’t climb that fast, allowing Owen to make ANOTHER save. Owen makes another attempt to get out but his exhaustion slows him down and lets Bret stop him.

They slug it out on the top rope with both guys being rammed face first into the cage. Bret knocks Owen down but gets pulled back down as well. A double clothesline puts both guys down one more time and it’s Owen going up first. He climbs to the corner though, allowing Bret to catch up with him and superplex Owen off the top of the cage. Bret crawls for the door but Owen makes the save and puts on the Sharpshooter.

There aren’t any submissions in the match but it can make it impossible for Bret to climb. However Bret, the master of the Sharpshooter, counters into one of his own and Owen is in trouble. Bret goes for the escape but he STILL can’t keep Owen down long enough. They ram each other into the cage and both fall down before Owen climbs again. Both guys climb to the outside and it’s a race to the bottom. Owen is rammed into the cage though and gets his legs caught in the cage bars, allowing Bret to drop down and retain the title.

Rating: A+. This match was all about drama and they certainly gave us that. The match ran over half an hour and had nothing but near escapes the entire time. Bret didn’t so much win this match as he did survive it. This match has been called the last great cage match and it’s really hard to argue with that. Excellent match with great drama throughout.

Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.

In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.

We recap the Undertaker disappearing at the Royal Rumble. 9 guys beat him up and locked him in a casket but his “spirit” levitated out of the casket, swearing to return. We get a bunch of people saying they had seen Undertaker in delis and coffee shops but DiBiase said he would bring Undertaker back.

Paul Bearer said that was impossible but Ted brought out the “Undertaker”. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell it was a fake which was the point of the whole thing. Paul tried to regain the power of the Undertaker using the Urn but DiBiase’s money stopped him. The real Undertaker’s voice came over the PA, saying that he would be back.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

We’ll call them real and fake to tell them apart. The fake one is played by ECW’s Primetime Brian Lee who wrestled in the WWF as Chainz. For the real entrance, we have druids, a casket containing the Urn and then the real guy. The entrances alone take about 10 minutes. Real is a few inches taller and blocks a right hand before pounding on Fake a bit. A big boot and uppercut send Fake to the floor, allowing Real to suplex him back in for no cover.

Fake is thrown to the floor again but Real follows him out this time. Back in and Fake hits a Stunner across the top rope to take over. This is VERY slow so far and the idea isn’t interesting at all. Real blocks Fake’s Old School but Fake sits up. The Real’s Old School connects but Fake clotheslines Real down. The crowd is SILENT for this nonsense which Vince writes off as being in shock.

Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.

Rating: F. Well that happened. Seriously, what else do you want me to say about this? It went on for ten minutes, they were aspiring to hit a snail’s pace and the Chicago crowd, as in one of the most insane groups of fans you’ll ever see, was quieter than a cemetery watching this mess. Taker would literally spend the next year feuding with DiBiase and company.

Taker gets his Urn back and we cut to the back with the detectives finding a closed briefcase. “The case is closed.” Seriously, that’s how they end this.

Overall Rating: D+. BIZARRE main event choice aside, this wasn’t the worst show of all time. Bret vs. Owen is a masterpiece which eats up ¼ of the show and there’s some other decent stuff sprinkled in on top of the card. The rest of the show is pretty terrible though and there’s nothing other than the world title match worth going out of your way to see.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

…..a B? I’d like to know what I was on back then so I can go get more of it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Well, where to begin with the changes? For one, Bret is the WWF Champion and is in the middle of his epic reign with it which would end two months later at the hands of…technically Owen Hart but Backlund got the title in one of the oddest choices ever. Your double main event here is Hart vs. Hart and Taker vs. Taker. Yeah, Taker got….he got….well he got something at the Rumble and hasn’t been seen since.

This became a comedy storyline to an extent with Leslie Nielsen from the Naked Gun movies being brought in because there had been Taker sightings. A new Undertaker had been brought in by DiBiase and of course was evil. Aside from those two matches, I remember nothing at all about this show. It’s these two matches or nothing here, so let’s get to them, and hopefully some other stuff that’s worth watching on the card as well.

Macho Man opens the show. Wait what? How long was he there anyway? I know he was at Starrcade 94 and had a bit of a build up to his appearance there, so this must have been one of his very last appearances. He uses a line from All About Eve which makes me smile. He throws it to Vince and Jerry so this was really just to get the crowd into the show.

Ah apparently this is his last WWF appearance. We’re told that there are new tag champions which I guess happened at a house show. Might help if I told you who the new champions are. It’s Shawn and Diesel. We run down the card and mention that Davey Boy is there in the crowd. Remember that as it plays a roll later one.

Bam Bam Bigelow/IRS vs. Headshrinkers

The Headshrinkers are the team that lost the tag belts, so I guess this was going to be a title match coming into this show? We’re getting more towards the modern look of the arena here as we have the lights in the shapes of dollar signs and the opening doors to the arena. This is part of the Million Dollar Team which is the original Cabinet but much better. Vince confirms that this was supposed to be a title match but now is non title which sucks for the heels.

I always like the Headshrinkers for some reason. When they were being built up as the top face team they worked like few others. Lou Albano is managing them now as this guy is the king of tag champions for some reason. They’re wearing crowns that look like Native American headdresses for some reason. Bigelow of course would soon be starting up the feud with LT that would just suck so heavily, making the 11th Mania perhaps the worst of all time. The Samoans are quite over here.

Fatu would of course later become known as Rikishi, the thong wearing, dancing Samoan. Faces are completely dominating for the majority of this match, which leads me to believe they’ll wind up losing. Of course as soon as I type that the Corporation takes over.

This lasts about a minute as the faces are in control again. Eventually they hit their double stroke and top rope splash move but it turns into a big fight with Afa beating up Bam Bam. It’s a DQ win for the heels (called it) and all four brawl up the aisle. Vince doesn’t understand why that’s the decision.

Rating: C+. It’s not bad, but it felt like it was in fast forward. Nothing was given time to develop which I guess is what an opener should be. This was fun I’d say, although me liking the Headshrinkers has a lot to do with that more than likely.

We go to the back where Leslie Nielsen is on the Undertaker’s Trail. There’s even a sign saying Undertaker’s Trail and an arrow. We can also hear his thoughts as he narrates. He runs into one of his co-stars who looks like Taker in the dark and they stand on a case, followed by them arguing over which of them is on the case. This is dumber than it sounds.

Razor says he’s getting the IC title back from Diesel. Walter Payton is going to be with him for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blaze vs. Bull Nakano

Ok, Blaze is more commonly known as Madusa so that’s what I’ll be referring to her as partially. Nakano is a Japanese wrestler who is apparently a big deal over there. She comes out with Luna to Orient Express’ old music. This is the original women’s title, which is one of the biggest jokes in the history of wrestling, but in a way caused the Montreal Screwjob.

The division was a flat out waste as Blaze was the only woman that ever did anything with it, mainly as she was one of the few American women that could wrestle in the company. Anyway, she was champion for just about ever until she bailed for WCW. She’s the one that dropped the belt in the trash on live TV and made Vince paranoid to the point that he was afraid Bret would do the same thing with the WWF Title.

Anyway, you know the rest and here were are with the title match that no one cared about and most won’t today. Nakano just wasn’t someone that Americans cared about and got the same treatment that Chono and Muta got in WCW: Great workers, but no one cared at all. Nakano probably weighs about 200 pounds or so. Her hair is about a foot tall. There’s a Y in Blaze but I’m sick of the red lines under it.

This match is pretty bad. The problem simply was that women’s wrestling was somehow less serious back then than it is now. Blaze would be barely above an average worker in today’s product, but back then she was Trish and Lita rolled into one.

This is just not that interesting as it’s sloppy and your stereotypical women’s match in a lot of ways, from hair throws to poor execution. It’s ok I guess, but it’s really not that great. Blaze hits some bad looking takedowns before dodging the top rope leg and hitting the German suplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It wasn’t that great but it wasn’t that terrible. The women’s division was just horrid back then and part of the reason was there wasn’t enough talent to warrant a whole division. Blaze was a pioneer for the division but there were far more talented workers later on.

Diesel and Shawn are with Todd, talking about their title win and then the IC Title match tonight. Diesel was actually quite good on the mic.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Diesel is champion here which is a very forgotten reign, especially since he’d get the world title in about three months. For some reason Shawn is introduced after Diesel is, despite him accompanying Diesel to the ring. Crowd pops like a coconut for Razor, as I still don’t get why he never got a short run with the world title. Yet again, a face befriends a local sports legend. Razor is wearing sky blue boots, which he can actually work I think.

The good thing about Razor here is that he’s a big guy so he can wrestle with big guys but he has the speed tactics here to counter Diesel, which makes this a very interesting match in my eyes. This is pretty standard yet solid fare here as Razor starts out hot and fast with Diesel eventually taking over with slower power moves which work very well for him. I still don’t get the point in Walter being there but that’s just me.

Shawn gets involved and helps beat on Razor as the football legend is still rather worthless in this match other than for moral support which is worthless of course. Shawn and Diesel combine to get the buckle exposed and ram Razor’s back into it. Jerry asks why Payton is there and is ignored. That’s a funny thing to me as even Vince has no idea but just won’t admit it. Walter has of course done nothing to counter Shawn this whole time.

We get a short comeback from Razor but it’s nothing of note really, which makes me wonder why I’m noting it here. Correction it’s a decent one as he throws those great right hands of his. After Shawn keeps getting involved and the referee keeps going after Walter, Shawn goes for the IC belt and he and Walter fight over it. Shawn loses the tug of war and goes for the kick. Of course it misses and Razor pins Diesel for the belt.

This would happen again and would result in Diesel and Shawn splitting, leading to Diesel taking the world title in November. Payton joins in celebrating despite doing jack. Diesel stalks Shawn up the ramp. Oh good grief Walter’s son is there too. Why not his old roommate while we’re at it?

Rating: B-. I’m sorry Chicago residents/Bears fans, but Payton was worthless in this. He’s an amazing running back and a great man, but there was no need to have him here. Put 1-2-3 Kid there or something, but not a football player with no connection to the match at all. Match itself was fine though as these two have that natural chemistry together. Fun match but Payton hurt things in my eyes.

We go to Macho who says nothing of note at all.

Vince recaps what we just saw, which shows Walter talking to the referee while Shawn is getting ready to kick Razor. Ok, that means one of two things. Razor slipping out was pre-planned or Walter is a freaking moron that will let his buddy get kicked. Yeah, great move there.

We go to the back with Diesel saying he’s mad at Shawn for costing him the belt and saying that Payton wasn’t even an issue. Shawn says it’s ok and he’ll get Diesel out of this.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Oh I had forgotten about this. This was actually a really well done story in my eyes. Here’s the idea: Luger and Tatanka are feuding with DiBiase’s team. Luger is constantly being offered a spot on the team for a big amount of money but he always turns it down. Things of course start looking like he took the money but never completely. Tatanka and everyone else is convinced that Luger is guilty, so the two of them are having this match here in which Luger allegedly will show that he sold out.

This was drawn out and really well built up to the point that we were believing Lex was evil now, when I think the real answer is pretty obvious. DiBiase keeps doing all kinds of things to imply that Luger has sold out including helping him win a match and DiBiase going into Luger’s locker room. Luger continues saying that DiBiase can do all kinds of things but Luger has never done anything wrong, which is very true.

Luger gets a somewhat mixed reaction, being about 70-30 for the face pop. The cheers are louder, but the booing is there. DiBiase isn’t there either, which is a point of interest I guess. He hits the corner and the boos are MUCH louder now. Bell rings and they’re arguing over whether or not he sold out. The whole point of this is waiting on DiBiase to come out and help Lex and the match is just kind of meandering along which isn’t good at all as it makes the match boring. You need a good match to go with a good story to make something really successful and this isn’t doing it. It’s ok, but just ok.

Finally DiBiase comes out with a big bag full of money. As Luger is looking at him and the money, Tatanka rolls him up for the pin. Post match, Luger goes after DiBiase and Tatanka attacks him, turning heel and legitimately surprising a lot of the fans. The heels hug and the fans are TICKED.

Tatanka beats the tar out of Lex and leaves with Ted, but turns around to beat on Lex some more. He puts the Million Dollar Dream on him to put Luger to sleep and follows with the ultimate humiliation of putting the money in his mouth. Why that is humiliating I have no idea but it looks awesome.

Rating: C-. This is a great example of the angle being far better than the match. The match was pretty bad but the angle was excellent. This was a total swerve and while it’s clear it was going to happen now, it was really well done at the time. The match sucked but the angle makes up for it.

We’ve only got three matches left, so this one is yours. Why this took place is beyond me. At the end you get a sample of the brilliant comedy that the company had going for it at the time.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is filler on the second biggest show of the year. This was a rather bad time if you didn’t get that. Well that’s not really fair as there was filler at almost any show back in the day. Vince says he’s a fan of good rap. Therefore he’s not a fan of Oscar and Mabel. Jarrett won’t shake his hand to start us off. Nice old school heel work there.

Mabel does Jarrett’s strut which isn’t bad. Basic story here as Jarrett can’t fight him at all due to the gravitational force of Mabel’s gut sucking the good out of this match. Jarrett shoves Oscar into the steps and then Mable eats post. Jarrett just tries to get Mabel down and of course nothing works until Jarrett gets pulled out of the air when attempting a top rope double axe.

Sleeper goes on and Mabel does his stupid falling kick thing. Knuckleball Schwartz (and mine is bigger than his) is on strike. Ok then. Jarrett, like an idiot, goes after Oscar for fun and gets crushed for his troubles. Middle rope splash misses Jeff. Mabel misses a sit down drop and Jeff actually gets the pin. I’m at a loss for words to describe how much of a waste of time this was.

Rating: D-. Just a totally pointless match here as they made no secret at all of there being no need for this match. Basic big vs. little guy here as nothing of note was going on here at all. Get on to something else please.

The detectives are in the arena and Taker’s silhouette is behind them. I really hate this show.

We get a long buildup package on Bret vs. Owen which was very well done, especially the masterful jobs from Survivor Series and Mania, which was the absolute classic that was Bret vs. Owen. Owen’s heel work in this was absolutely masterful. This was built up for nearly a year and is one of the best feuds that I can ever remember. I’m enjoying looking back at this as it really was well done and you could feel the tension here.

Owen pinning Bret clean at Mania was mind blowing at the time and still is to this day. Bret’s old partner Neidhart has joined up with Owen as well which makes thing even more amazing. The beauty in having Owen win was that it made you believe he could do it for the title here tonight. That’s a great bonus and it makes matches better and more believable. Bruce, their brother, went off on him, while wearing a leather jacket.

Did Stu make his fortune as a leather tanner or something? Owen did a promo in the cage about a week before which was great. I know this is long but the recap is about 10 minutes long. Stu and Helen are interviewed at ringside which I don’t think I’ve ever heard before. Helen sounds typical but Stu sounds very odd indeed. Not how I imagined it, but the man is an absolute legend and one of the few people who played a big role in shaping the business into what it is today.

I can’t think of anyone that’s trained more stars than he has. Davey says that he wouldn’t want to be in the ring with Bret tonight. Neidhart is there too and he’s an Owen supporter. This is really intricate and intense and is one heck of a story if I do say so myself. I’m hyped for this match and I’ve seen it probably 8 times.

Bret is apparently getting over strep throat. I’ve had that about 30 times and if you’ve never had it, consider yourself lucky. It’s misery. Bret says he doesn’t hate Owen but he does hate Neidhart because Jim made Owen jealous in the first place. He says this ends tonight.

WWF Title: Cage Match-Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Since I’ve explained the story pretty well, I’ll spare you another retelling of it. Owen’s heel music owned. Bret’s face music owned. Sweet goodness this match rocks in all areas. Never marked out for a Bret match before but I am on this one. In a nice touch, Owen’s name graphic doesn’t show up until he’s in the cage and Bret’s music is playing, almost like he’s a jobber. The bell rings and we’re off immediately.

For some reason we have no commentary at the beginning. Ah there it is. I’m watching this on my laptop and the audio is the kind where half is in one ear and the rest is in the other on my headphones. The referee is outside which is a good thing to me. That enziguri from Owen just never gets old. They’re starting out really slowly which is also good as they’re not going for broke immediately but rather telling a story out there.

Both go for the quick exit very early on which is a nice touch. Owen wants to beat Bret and Bret just wants to end this as the title is secondary to him. We get a really good camera shot from over the corner of the cage. That’s a unique shot that’s cool looking. Owen lands a dropkick and then a nip up before literally diving at the cage wall, desperate to get out. This is just hilarious looking but at the same time you can see how desperate Owen is to win here.

That’s yet another nice little touch. It’s the little things like that which can make a match great as they show that the workers are thinking and not just wrestling. They’ve been going about 10 minutes so far and it’s pretty even at this point. Pretty sure this is escape only which is what a cage match should be. Screw that pinning and submission nonsense.

Lawler keeps trying to play up Bulldog vs. Hart from 92 but Vince says that it means nothing, which is true as they were friendly afterwards, especially since Davey was gone for a long period of that. The good thing about this match is that it’s not about the cage but about the wrestlers and the cage is more of a prop. That’s always better. This is a ton of last second saves and close calls which keeps the fans on their toes.

They trade sharpshooters as I’m very close to the end of the match and I have nothing to make fun of here as it’s a great match. They chase each other up the cage but Owen’s leg gets tied up and Bret drops down to keep the title. Post match, Neidhart jumps the rail and beats on Bret for a bit before taking him back inside the cage and locking the door.

We then get the siege of the cage as all of the Harts try to get in before Smith goes up the cage and knocks Owen off. This takes like 4 minutes to finally accomplish which actually is kind of a cool looking sight. Finally Smith runs the heels off. They help Bret to his feet before we go to the back to talk to Owen.

Rating: A. This was a great cage match as there’s the natural chemistry and rivalry there, and if you give these two thirty plus minutes, are you expecting anything less than greatness?

Owen and Neidhart are in the back as Owen talks about how only Bret ever got cared about and how Jim was his best friend. It’s better than it sounds.

Recap of Taker vs. Taker. Short version, Taker disappeared after the Rumble to heal an injury and hadn’t been seen since. He returned but he was different, controlled by DiBiase. This was actually Brian Lee who was Chainz in the DOA in a few years. We get testimonials from regular people, making this seem like Elvis sightings. I refuse to believe that these people are wrestling fans.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

DiBiase brings out the fake one and then Fink says that his opponent is the one and only Undertaker. We get a casket rolled out as well as this entrance is just taking too long. The casket is opened and inside is a huge urn. Bearer takes it into the ring and actually opens it, revealing….a really powerful flashlight. This goes on for several minutes as I’m pretty bored. This somehow triggers Taker to appear and walk down the ramp.

When I say walk, I mean move…..kind of. Fake Taker looks to weigh about 340. While this is kind of a cool moment, Bret and Owen should have closed the show. It’s not that bad though and it could have gone over far worse. Real Taker is in purple and fake is in gray. Real even throws out a leap frog that is amazing to see when you think about it.

The crowd is still popping but so much of their emotion was taken out of them by the previous match that it’s just hard for them to get hyped here, and I can’t blame them. This is a cool idea, but it just shouldn’t have gone last. This is pretty basic for the most part. Real leads for the early part, fake takes over and dominates the majority, standard Taker comeback with three tombstones to get the emphatic win for the real Deadman.

The count is slower than the walk that got him there though which is odd. Ted is ran off as Taker poses like crazy to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we throw it to Macho to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we go to the detectives in the back who open Taker’s casket to find nothing. Then one finds a briefcase which is closed. “The case is closed!” We go off the air like that. When I was a kid I never got that joke and it’s still awful today.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but it shouldn’t have gone last. At least we got a decent moment to end on with the real Taker standing tall, or in his case kneeling moderate. The comedy thing was just a waste as they never even interact with Taker, but that’s a good thing.

Overall Rating: C-. This really is just a one match show as the rest is just pretty silly. Luger and Tatanka’s angle is great, the cage match is excellent, and that’s about it. The comedy thing with the detectives was just flat out stupid on all levels and I certainly could have done without it.

They’re on screen all of 3 minutes and they have nothing but sight gags and dumb moments. I didn’t get the point back then and I don’t now. There’s nothing much to this show other than the cage, so I’d say find a copy of that and the buildup and other than that, go watch a better show as this isn’t that good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2005
Location: Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 16,657
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a first for the company as they are now heading over to Japan for a rare international Raw. It’s a stacked card too with the Tag Team Titles on the line, Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho in a submission match and Edge FINALLY getting his World Title shot against HHH. Given the way things are going, we might actually get some lengthy matches out of all three. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, still featuring the Rock. How long has it been since he’s been in anything more than a cameo?

Here’s Eric Bischoff to get things going. Bischoff says he is the GM of Raw and one of the most powerful and respected men in wrestling. The translator explains it to the Japanese crowd, who are NOT happy with Bischoff. In addition to the previously announced matches, we’re getting Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair. We’ll get things going right now.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Submission match. Jericho goes nose to nose with him to start and it’s an aggressive lockup to start. They go outside without breaking the lockup and it’s more nose to nose. Back in and Benoit starts in on a hammerlock but has to break up a Walls attempt. Neither of them can get anywhere on the mat and that means another standoff. Jericho drops him ribs first over the top rope but the springboard dropkick is knocked out of the air.

An exchange of headbutts puts them both on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Benoit snapping off a suplex as Jericho is busted open. Jericho breaks up the rolling German suplexes and grabs an octopus hold of all things. That’s reversed as well though and now the rolling German suplexes connect. The third is countered into a half crab though as Jericho is opening up the submission playbook here.

Benoit escapes that but can’t get the Sharps, instead settling for more rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive hits Jericho’s back but Jericho is right back up with a clothesline. The Lionsault hits knees…which don’t work for some reason as Jericho lands on his feet and tries a Texas Cloverleaf. He has to stop to puts Benoit though and it’s the Crossface to make Jericho scream, though he makes the rope in time. Another Walls attempt is countered into something like a triangle choke into another Crossface on the other arm for the tap.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be awesome with the two of them in a hard hitting match in Japan. There’s something awesome about watching Benoit try for submissions (I could watch him snap people down into the Crossface for hours) as he has more intensity with them than anyone else. Jericho can hang with him in there for a bit but Benoit winning makes more sense here.

Post match they shake hands and Benoit gets to pose in the ring on his own for a bit.

Video on the trip to Japan and their time there so far.

Ric Flair had a great time in Roppongi last night and can’t wait for a great evening for Evolution. HHH has been thinking about Batista and maybe they should fight at Wrestlemania. Flair isn’t sure and likes the idea of HHH and Batista ruling the two shows (Flair: “And I’m part of the show too!”). HHH agrees and is going to talk to Batista.

Christian is talking to a Japanese reporter but stops to ask Stacy Keibler for a quote for the article. The interviewer is looking for Randy Orton, which gets a big reaction. Apparently Christian is very annoying. Christian mocks Orton’s posing and thinks he’s a chair shot away from ending his career. Stacy thinks Orton could beat Christian so Christian wants a match tonight. With Tomko that is.

Wrestlemania Braveheart trailer.

Maven wants to know why he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble. Since he wasn’t, he’ll win here instead.

Batista vs. Maven

Guess what happens. Thirty seconds.

Post match we get another video from Smackdown, with Big Show being ready to beat Batista at Wrestlemania after he wins the title at No Way Out. Batista isn’t pleased. I’m not sure why Batista looks so stunned when this interview aired on Smackdown last week. It’s not like it’s a hidden camera.

Post break Batista rants at Bischoff about the Smackdown footage so Bischoff promises to get to the bottom of it. First though, Bischoff needs to talk to him about Theodore Long’s Smackdown offer. Smackdown is second rate and Raw is in the palm of his hand. Batista seems interested by both ideas.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are challenging and the fans are WAY behind Tajiri, in case that wasn’t clear. Regal takes Conway down by the arm to start and it’s off to Tajiri for a baseball slide to the face. It’s back to Regal, who gets taken down by a quick suplex. A backdrop gets Regal out of a front facelock and it’s back to Tajiri for the hard kicks. An enziguri drops Grenier for two and the fans aren’t pleased. That means a double handspring elbow to take the champs down so Grenier grabs the flag. Tajiri kicks it away though and fires off some mist, setting up the Buzzsaw kick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match itself wasn’t the point here as this was ALL about the home country pop for Tajiri and there’s nothing wrong with that. Regal and Tajiri have a history together so it’s not like this was even that far out of left field. It’s not like La Resistance has any value at the moment anyway. Not a good match (though it was far from terrible) but they did exactly what they were trying to do.

Post match Tajiri says something in Japanese and the new champs celebrate in the crowd.

Sumo champion Akebono is in the crowd.

Here are some of this year’s Hall of Fame inductees.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

You know Flair is getting the legend reaction here. Shawn’s is a bit louder but the fans are clapping instead of bowing. The fans respect them both but in different ways. Flair takes him into the corner and sneaks in an elbow as a villain should. The chops and right hands in the corner wake Shawn up enough to reverse for some chops of his own. A backdrop keeps Flair in trouble so he pokes the eye to take over. Shawn is right back with some right hands to set up the Flair Flop for two.

Flair gets smart and hits the chop block to take over, meaning it’s time for the standard leg work. The Figure Four goes on but is finally turned over, meaning Flair can kick at the leg some more. Shawn is fine enough to get two off a backslide as Lawler counts to two in Japanese. An enziguri drops Shawn and the fans are very appreciative of a tribute to Inoki. Flair kicks at the knee again and goes up, with the crowd instantly knowing what’s coming. The forearm into the nipup sets up the top rope elbow so Sweet Chin Music can finish clean.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but they finished as they should have. Both of them are legends in Japan so the fans were going to cheer anything they did out there. It was fine to play it safe with a basic match not try to do anything too big, as Shawn is gearing up for Kurt Angle and Flair is going to be there for HHH and Batista.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring for an American fashion show. Maria is out first to represent the wild, wild west (she’s wearing a cowboy hat and shooting finger guns), Victoria represents the open road as a biker (jacket over her usual gear), and Christy represents the beaches in a swimsuit. Lawler tries to go over some rules for the thing but it’s Simon Dean interrupting instead.

Simon calls this a waste of time and insults the crowd, drawing Akebono out of his chair. That goes nowhere as Simon calls the women overweight. Lawler stands up for them so Simon calls him Burger King. Christy gets in a low blow and Simon is done. Pretty close to a waste of time.

Evolution has a meeting in the back with HHH trying to talk Batista into going to Smackdown (Didn’t he want him on Raw about forty minutes ago?). Flair paints the picture and Batista will think about it as they stop Edge from winning the title tonight.

Edge isn’t happy with everyone talking about Batista when he finally has his title shot tonight. HHH has his Braveheart trailer for Wrestlemania where he talks about defending the title because Edge gets overlooked again.

Video on the trip to Japan.

Randy Orton vs. Tyson Tomko

Orton seems more popular here than in America. No Christian with Tomko in a bit of a surprise. A headlock takeover has Tomko down early on as Lawler blames Stacy for getting Orton into this. Back up and Tomko hits a powerslam as Christian drags Stacy out here. The distraction lets Tomko hit a big clothesline and it’s time to wonder about another concussion.

Tomko starts going after the head in slow motion but the backbreaker gets Orton out of trouble. Orton slugs away and hits a dropkick but bangs his head again. Back up and Tomko whips him into the corner, which is reversed into a rollup for a pretty fast pin. Oh and Stacy cheers to validate her existence.

Rating: D. I could go for Christian vs. Orton and this was an acceptable step to get there. That being said, it didn’t do much for Tomko, who is only there for the sake of being big and imposing while attacking some people between matches. It’s better to not have him in a match of his own as things don’t tend to go all that well.

Post match Christian and Tomko jump Orton with Christian hitting an Unprettier. Orton had to be helped out during the break. It’s so strange seeing concussions being used as a storyline these days.

We look back at Regal and Tajiri winning the Tag Team Titles.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has Flair with him. They trade hammerlocks to start and now the fans are rather quiet, likely because they know how important a World Title match is. HHH bridges up into a backslide, albeit after a bit of a slip, for two but Edge grabs a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Edge hits a spear in the corner but a second attempt hits post, as tends to be the case.

We take a break and come back with Edge getting two off a backbreaker. A DDT on the arm gets HHH out of trouble and they’re both down. The facebuster gives HHH two and the spinebuster is good for the same. Edge backdrops his way out of the Pedigree but the spear is cut off by the running knee. A shot to the back takes HHH down though and a pretty weak Edgecator goes on. That stays on for a rather long time until HHH dives over for the rope.

Edge’s spear hits the referee as we get more into Evolution’s wheelhouse. There’s no count off a neckbreaker so Edge has to spear Flair down, knocking a chair out of his hands. HHH gets in a belly to back suplex to make Edge drop the chair and everyone is down again. They both crawl for the chair but here’s Batista to take it away. HHH knocks Edge off the apron, sending him into Batista by mistake. Back in and Edge hits the Impaler for yet another double knockdown. Batista comes in and spinebusters Edge, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. They would have been better off with about two minutes of laying around cut out of this but Edge can continue to rant about not getting a fair shot so he’ll be fine. What matters most here is HHH needs Batista again, furthering Batista’s big moment which has to be coming in the next few weeks. Not a bad match, but it was more about the stories than anything else.

HHH holds up the title but Batista looks at both him and the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like a pay per view edition of Raw and it’s always nice to see something like that. They had some big matches with a cool moment in the title change, plus a pretty awesome opener. Once we get No Way Out finished up, it’s time to get things going to Wrestlemania. What matters here though is how much groundwork has been laid, because as soon as Batista gets his moment, everything is going to change for good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2005
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 9,200
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble and that means the Batista train is pulling away. Batista won the Royal Rumble last night and that puts him on the path to Wrestlemania. The question though is…well ok it’s not really a question about which champion he’ll face but how will they get there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. Flair talks about how HHH knows he’s the greatest no matter what anyone thinks. Shawn Michaels came around and people started saying that HHH was “arguably” the greatest that ever lived. After last night though, there is no doubt about who the greatest of all time really is. HHH says Orton wasn’t quite destined to be the greatest because HHH is destiny. He could talk about how great he is but everyone knows it already.

That wasn’t all that happened last night though because something special happened. It’s the kind of thing that people are going to talk about decades from now. Therefore, here is Batista, the winner of the Royal Rumble, rocking a suit. HHH brags about Batista winning the Rumble, throwing John Cena out three times just to make the point clear. He’s proud of Batista because this is what they talked about from the beginning.

At first Batista was a guy with muscles in a t-shirt but now he has Armani suits, a Rolex watch, a Mercedes-Benz and women. Greatness gravitates to greatness and he’s a product of HHH after all. At Wrestlemania, it will be HHH’s honor to defend the title against Batista. After a smile, Batista says he’s glad to hear what HHH thinks of him. Now, let’s hear what Batista thinks of HHH.

We cut to a JBL promo from last night with JBL saying Batista can come to Wrestlemania and take a beating from the champ. As good as Batista is, he is not in JBL’s league. HHH doesn’t like what JBL said and tells Foghorn Leghorn that all Batista would have to do to be WWE Champion is come face JBL. However, he is NOT going to Smackdown because they’re having their big match at Wrestlemania. Batista never got to say anything after JBL’s promo. The pieces continue to fall into place.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Simon Dean

Benjamin is defending. Dean hammers away to start as JR talks about him being a sponsor of the show. How you quickly transition from sponsor to title contender isn’t clear. Shelton fights back but Simon gets caught pulling something out of his bag. With the referee taking that away, Dean gets the bag up to block a Stinger Splash for two. Not that it matters as the Dragon Whip retains the title in a hurry.

Post match Simon says the only reason that happened was Shelton uses the Simon System. That earns him an exploder suplex to send him down to the lowest of the lower card for good.

HHH yells at Eric Bischoff about who put up that JBL clip. It turns into a threat, which Bischoff doesn’t like.

Wrestlemania Recall: Butterbean kills Bart Gunn’s career dead and knocks the Brawl For All into the vault for good.

Christy Hemme shoots off a t-shirt gun but here’s Edge to cut her off. Edge doesn’t like Christy playing dumb like this but it can’t be that hard for her. He wants to see what kind of shirts they are so Christy shows him that it’s a Wrestlemania XXI shirt. Edge rants about how he dominated the Royal Rumble by eliminating the most people and coming down to the final three, all after beating Shawn Michaels. Christy is panicking as Edge yells so violence is threatened.

Cue Shawn to make the save but he also wants to talk about Edge being embarrassed. What is embarrassing is saying that Edge beat him last night. Then Kurt Angle threw him out and busted him open, so yeah, Shawn has some pent up frustration. Therefore, he needs to let some of that out tonight in San Jose. Shawn already has a tag match tonight but he’s willing to work twice in one night twice in a row. Edge says no so Shawn superkicks him. That’s one way to shut someone up.

Maven vs. Hurricane

Hurricane shrugs off some kicks to the ribs and takes him down with a shoulder. A headscissors is countered into a side slam (not bad) and Maven stays on the back with a running forearm. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock but misses the Blockbuster. Maven finishes with the yet to be named Backstabber. Not very good, but it’s clear they’re done with Maven anyway.

Maria and Candice find Gene Snitsky in the women’s locker room….and he likes their shoes.

We look at Kane and Snitsky interfering in the Heidenreich vs. Undertaker casket match from last night.

Bischoff demands that Coach find out who played the JBL video. Theodore Long comes in and Bischoff accuses him of playing the tape to steal Batista from Raw. That’s exactly right but he had nothing to do with the tape. Long has already made a lucrative offer to Batista to face either JBL or Big Show. It sounds to him like Batista is Smackdown bound. Holla holla holla.

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler have a forced flirty conversation about Orton’s tag match. Orton has to do it because this is what he does. From a kayfabe perspective, why is Stacy there? She hasn’t wrestled a regular match since October, she isn’t managing anyone and she just kind of hangs around the show. At least Christy comes out and does some official stuff occasionally.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending. Jericho elbows Conway in the face to start but it’s too early for the Walls attempt. Benoit comes in for a nice reaction and gets elbowed down, allowing Grenier to come in and stomp away. A Crossface attempt is broken up with a cheap shot and Grenier cranks on Benoit’s neck. That’s broken up and Benoit hits an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Jericho.

Grenier comes in as well and Jericho orders him to “COME ON FRENCHIE!” A bulldog takes Martin down but the Lionsault misses. Everything breaks down and Jericho tries the Walls on Grenier but has to switch to Conway to cut off a belt shot. Benoit and Conway fight to the floor as Jericho gets the Walls but Conway comes back in for the save. That’s enough for the double DQ and the fans are rather annoyed.

Rating: D. The Tag Team Titles are dying a horrible death here as the champs are lame ducks but don’t really have anyone else to drop the titles to. That left Jericho and Benoit fighting at half speed (at most) so they didn’t blow the champs away and that doesn’t help anyone. They need to find someone fresh for the titles soon because this is just sad.

Chris Master is coming. Maybe he can make a new vignette during this long delay.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for their usual complaining, though this time Hassan can complain about last night. That is proof of the discrimination so tonight he wants to fight any American.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter shoves a ranting Daivari down before the bell and gets the cobra clutch in a hurry. A Daivari distraction breaks that up and Slaughter gets sent chest first into the buckle. Hassan fires off some knees to the ribs but Slaughter is back with the right hands. That’s about it though as the Downward Spiral into the camel clutch finishes Slaughter. Sounds like a Slaughter tribute from Hassan. That might be all he has at the moment too, as Hassan is floundering. What do you expect though when you have him beating Lawler, Val Venis, Hurricane and Slaughter?

Jericho and Benoit fire each other up with Jericho saying he wants the best from Benoit.

We get a Wrestlemania XXI promo, featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. This was edited off of the Royal Rumble on the Network for some reason.

HHH seems worried when Ric Flair comes in. Maybe HHH wants to face Batista at Wrestlemania too much. Long has offered Batista a lot of money so why should HHH hold him back? If Batista won the WWE Title, they would run the entire industry.

Here’s Bischoff to announce that Raw is coming from Japan next week. Therefore, he has three special matches to announce: Benoit vs. Jericho in a submission match, William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and HHH vs. Edge for the World Title.

Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels vs. HHH/Ric Flair

Batista is here with Evolution. Orton slaps Flair in the face to start so Flair comes back with chops in the corner. It’s quickly off to Shawn vs. HHH with Flair’s distraction not working very well as Shawn hammers away in the corner. That means an atomic drop but Shawn is fine enough to shove HHH off the top. An elbow (into the “controversial” heart of HHH) connects and everything breaks down with Batista grabbing a chair and beating on the steps with it. That’s enough for an ejection but the Batista sneakily smiles as we go to a break.

Back with Flair and Shawn trading chops in the corner until the Flair Flop gives Shawn two. A cheap shot from HHH puts Shawn back in trouble and the spinebuster gets two. Flair’s choking in the corner gives HHH the same and the abdominal stretch goes on. Shawn gets out and slams Flair off the top though and the hot tag brings Orton in to clean house.

Flair dives at Orton to save HHH and the referee gets bumped. That means an RKO to Flair but Orton seems to be concussed again, just as he was last night. HHH loads up the Pedigree but eats the superkick, only to have Edge come in for a spear….which hits HHH by mistake. Orton slowly crawls over and pins HHH.

Rating: C. There’s something amazing about how HHH is willing to let Orton have a pin after cutting his title run off at the knees a few months ago. Orton shouldn’t have won last night of course, but my goodness this comes off as funny in a way. They even set up next week’s title match a little bit more in the process. Not bad here and at least it didn’t feel like filler.

We look back at Kane and Snitsky flying off the stage earlier this month.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

In a cage and Snitsky gets a jobber entrance. They’re both still taped up from the aforementioned fall and both block a trip into the cage. A double shoulder gives us a double knockdown but it’s Snitsky up first to ram Kane back first into the cage. It’s way too early to get out though so Snitsky punches Kane down again. Cue Trish Stratus in a neck brace as Kane pulls Snitsky off the ropes.

Kane gets halfway out of the door but gets pulled back in as well. This time it’s a gordbuster to plant Snitsky with Kane going down as well. Snitsky goes face first into the cage and there’s the top rope clothesline to drop him again. Trish tries to slam the door on Kane’s head but Kane is smart enough (duh) to see it coming and drags Trish inside.

Snitsky grazes him with a big boot for the save and a two count though, allowing Trish to get out. That’s not enough though as Snitsky goes out to the steps but stops and rips the door off the cage. Kane kicks it into his face though and wedges it into the corner. A good crotching sets up the chokeslam to finish Snitsky, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Normally I would say “and that has to be it for this feud” but why should I believe that’s the case? They should have been done at New Year’s Revolution if not before and yet here we are. The match was terrible with both guys having chances to win and Trish adding nothing at all. This felt like a bad house show main event and I could go for more from the main event on the Raw after Royal Rumble.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those weird periods where everyone knows what is coming to the letter but we have to wait until we actually get there. That being said, aside from the Batista stuff, there wasn’t much to brag about on this show other than the matches mostly not overstaying their welcome. Things will get better when we reach the big moment but until then, it’s not the most thrilling time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 4, 1997
Location: Stabler Arena, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 4,665
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon

To put it mildly, a lot changed last night. On the storyline front, Bret Hart won the WWF World Title after spitting at guest referee Shawn Michaels, who swung a chair at Bret but hit Undertaker by mistake. You can imagine where something like this is going. Much more importantly however, Owen Hart accidentally dropped Steve Austin on his head in a piledriver attempt, nearly breaking Austin’s neck in an injury that would eventually lead to the end of his career. That’s going to dramatically change things going forward as you would expect. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Hart Foundation (billed as the whole team, though again minus Neidhart, who seems to be gone, at least for the time being) to open things up. JR walks us through the ending of last night’s main event before Bret says you’re supposed to suffer for your crimes. Well he isn’t suffering, so maybe last night wasn’t a crime. Last night he beat someone from the devil and depths of despair with a referee favoring the other guy throughout the entire match, but he stuck to his word the whole night.

The WWF isn’t sticking to its word though, because they said if Shawn didn’t call it down the line, he wouldn’t wrestle in this country ever again. Bret is standing here as champion because he was smarter than both of those Americans last night, so what is the WWF going to do now? JR brings up Bret’s title defense at Ground Zero: In Your House (the first show with the different format for the names, as well as the first three hour In Your House) against the Patriot. This is the first mention of the match and it’s just announced without some #1 contenders match or a big segment. That saves so much time and still makes sense.

Bret sees the hypocrisy in the Patriot, who talks about morals and then comes out with Michaels and Austin, so Patriot means nothing to him. Someone who does mean something to him though is the British Bulldog, who fought valiantly against Ken Shamrock, who will never receive another European Title shot. As for Brian Pillman, he has way too much class to wear a dress. Finally, as for Owen, who lost the title despite Austin barely being able to move, it was another miscarriage of justice.

Owen talks about the rage and anger inside himself after showing compassion to Austin. He only beat himself, but he made Austin a crippled freak. Since Austin can never wrestle again, he should just forfeit the title back to Owen right now. JR thinks the new commissioner has been listening, so here he is: Sgt. Slaughter. This was a strange pick as Slaughter hadn’t been a thing in the WWF in years, but now he’s the boss. At least it fits with the America vs. Canada theme.

Anyway, Slaughter says he’s the new sheriff in town, which gets a VERY strong reaction from the crowd. Slaughter orders Bret to defend the title against Patriot at the pay per view. Bret: “Who did he ever beat to get a title shot.” Slaughter: “You.” Bulldog will be facing Shamrock again soon, and that’s an order (Slaughter’s catchphrase). Pillman will wear a dress tonight or he’s suspended.

As for Owen, he can have his title shot when the doctors give Austin approval to wrestle, and when Stone Cold says so. This brings out Austin, who says it’s time to fight right now. Owen should have pinned him when he had the chance but he was a loser from the day he was born. The fact that Austin can walk is astounding enough on its own, but you could see how shaky he was.

Fans at Summerslam last night said Undertaker was robbed by Shawn.

Faarooq is ready for his triple threat with Savio Vega and Crush at the pay per view. How dare they challenge him to a street fight when he’s a man from the streets. They can take their beatings like men, just like Ahmed will take care of Chainz tonight. Ahmed: “Who?” That would be the fourth guy in the DOA, who I don’t think has been named to this point.

Kama Mustafa vs. Ken Shamrock

The entire Nation is here but Shamrock is on his own. Therefore, here’s Slaughter to eject everyone but Kama. It’s a martial arts match to start with Shamrock getting the better of it and punching Kama back into the corner. A big jumping spinwheel kick drops Kama again but he slams Shamrock and gets two off an elbow. They head outside with Kama being sent into the post, allowing Los Boricuas to come out and suplex him on the floor. Back in and Shamrock, who may or may not have seen what happened, scores with the belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: C-. I liked this more than I thought I would and it was a good way to show Mustafa as more than just an enforcer. A good striker is always going to have a spot and it was Kama’s first showcase. That being said, can we stop having interference in almost every match? Shamrock beating him clean wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world and Los Boricuas getting involved really wasn’t needed.

Brakus is still coming.

Taka Michinoku vs. Brian Christopher

Sunny does the ring announcing. Brian elbows him down to start and drops an elbow but walks into a belly to belly. Taka’s hurricanrana is countered into a nice powerbomb though, followed by a Fameasser (that’s becoming very popular around here). Back up and Brian loads up a dive but misses a charge, sending him crashing out to the floor. Taka finally speeds things up with a dive of his own but Brian dropkicks him in the back of the head. Christopher rolls some vertical suplexes but kicks his feet too far into the air, allowing Taka to tie up his legs into a small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. The ending was good but I’m really not caring for this division so far. It’s just a bunch of guys being thrown out there without much that really sets them apart. Christopher is the only light heavyweight with a personality to speak of but he doesn’t have the style in the ring to back it up. I know WCW’s Cruiserweight division worked with a lack of personalities, but they had the in ring action to make everything work. The WWF is trying to find a middle ground and it’s really missing.

Brian catapults Taka to the floor like a sore loser.

Slaughter gives Pillman his dress, which Pillman is ordered to wear until he wins a match or he’s suspended.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Vader

Before the match, Paul Bearer says he’s forgotten more about wrestling than Chyna will ever know and declares himself more of a man than she is. Uh……..well alright then. Vader runs Helmsley over at the bell and pummels him in the corner with rights and lefts. A single clothesline actually puts Vader down as the announcers praise Helmsley for his performance last night against Mankind in a losing effort. Bearer gets in Chyna’s face and ears a dropkick, drawing Vader out to the floor. Helmsley follows and it’s a quick double countout. Helmsley was more aggressive here and that’s a good sign going forward.

The Patriot is proud to be an American, even though Bret is right that there are some things that need to be fixed in this country. However, unlike Bret who is whining, Patriot is willing to stand up and fix them. One problem he wants to fix is someone like Bret complaining about America but reaping all the benefits. Last week he defeated Bret and he’ll do it again at Ground Zero: In Your House when all the marbles are on the line. Tonight he’s got the Sultan, who he’s heard is undefeated in the WWF (he’s heard wrong) so Bret needs to watch for a preview of what’s going to happen to him. That was quite the emotional speech.

The Sultan vs. The Patriot

This is Sultan’s return after an injury. They wave their flags to start but Sultan hits Patriot from behind to take over. Patriot wins a slugout and sidesteps a charge to send Sultan into the post. The Patriot Missile and Uncle Slam are enough for the fast pin.

The Hart Foundation come to the ring as soon as the bell rings but Slaughter picks off Owen and Bulldog, leaving Bret all alone. Patriot is ready for Bret, who suddenly realizes he’s lost his backup. The fight is on with Patriot getting the better of it as the fans eat this up with a red, white and blue spoon.

Hour #2 opening sequence.

Here’s Shawn for a chat to a mixed reaction. Shawn thinks that everyone is dumping Undertaker losing the title in his lap. Vince suggests that this isn’t fair but Shawn tells him to shut up. This is just like Vince or Bret or all the WWF fans to blame Shawn for all their problems. He tells the fans to shut up over and over again before Vince asks if Shawn and Bret are working together.

Shawn calls Vince the dumbest SOB he’s ever seen so Vince announces Undertaker vs. Shawn for the next pay per view. Michaels throws Vince out and says he’s certainly not working with Bret but he knows Bret needs him, because he’s the only man that has beaten Bret before. As for Undertaker, this is the first time he and Shawn have ever crossed paths and Shawn isn’t laying down for anyone, including the fans.

The fans are all over Shawn, who rants about giving them everything he’s had for the last ten years. He promises to superkick Undertaker the next time he sees him, so here’s Undertaker to give him the opportunity. Shawn bails before Undertaker gets to the ring (which of course takes forever) so Vince gets back in to talk to the dead man.

After we get a mic that works, Undertaker says he’s been doing too much talking late, so it’s time to take some souls and make people rest in peace. It’s time for Michaels to pay for his crimes. Undertaker goes to leave but Paul Bearer comes up on screen to call him a murderer again. He was with Kane last night and he’s ready to come face his brother. Oh yes, he is coming. Undertaker goes to leave again and the lights go out before turning blood red. That was quite the segment as we have a new top program, which has the potential to blow the roof off the place.

The doctor tells Slaughter that Austin can’t wrestle tonight due to a spinal injury.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Chainz

Chainz is probably best known as Brian Lee from ECW, or the fake Undertaker from 1994. Just like earlier, Slaughter comes out to eject the rest of the Nation and the DOA. Chainz goes after Ahmed’s recently injured knee to start but Johnson is fine enough to hit something like a Michinoku Driver for no cover. To be fair, it was more like dropping Chainz on his head than a slam like the move usually is but Johnson isn’t really capable of doing most moves. Cue Los Boricuas to go after Chainz’s bike, which sets up the Pearl River Plunge to give Ahmed the pin.

DOA comes out to chase off Los Boricuas so here’s the Nation to even things out. They load up the salute…..and then beat Ahmed down, with Brown dropping a top rope elbow onto the bad knee.

Godwinns vs. Headbangers

Henry headlocks Thrasher to start but Thrasher actually takes him down with some nice technical stuff. Off to Mosh, who calls Phineas a chicken to draw him in, only to dropkick him right to the floor. Thrasher tries to come in but gets held back, allowing Henry to take Mosh’s head off with a clothesline. Mosh fights out of the corner and everything breaks down, leading to Henry Slop Dropping Mosh to give Phineas the pin.

Rating: D. Lame match here between two teams without much of an upside. The tag division isn’t really strong at the moment as you have a thrown together team as champions instead of a normal pairing, but outside of Owen/Bulldog and the LOD, the division is almost worthless. This match was real proof of a lot of the problems it’s having right now as it desperately needs some fresh blood.

Brian Pillman vs. Bob Holly

Goldust and Marlena are here to watch, with Marlena saying Pillman isn’t much of a man so maybe he’ll be a better lady. Brian is forced to come out here by Slaughter and goes right after Holly as aggressively as you’ll ever see him. The fans are behind Holly, who comes back with an atomic drop and dropkick as Pillman has to keep holding his dress down. Bob pulls it up for some slaps but misses a top rope legdrop. Pillman has an opening but Marlena holds up a bra for him, drawing Pillman outside for a countout, meaning he’s still in a dress next week.

Dude Love vs. Owen Hart

Bret is on commentary. Owen sends Dude into the buckle to start but gets caught in something like a bulldog. The enziguri gets Owen out of trouble as we see Austin watching in the back. Things slow down as Dude grabs an armbar of all things before an elbow to the back of the head gets two. Vince fills in time on a chinlock by asking why Lawler and Bret are so friendly all of a sudden.

Owen knocks Dude to the floor and we take a break. This hasn’t been the most thrilling match in the world so far, which is kind of surprising given who is in there. Back with Dude taking a walk up the ramp but missing a running elbow to Owen on the floor. Bret: “Stu-pid.” A Bret vs. Foley feud could have been glorious.

Owen scores with a missile dropkick, followed by an enziguri to put Dude on the floor again. Back in again and a middle rope elbow gets two on British Bulldog comes out, only to be ejected by Slaughter. It’s a distraction though, allowing Bret to send Dude into the post. The Sharpshooter goes on but cue Austin to hit Owen with a Slammy to give Dude the pin.

Rating: C. Like I said, I’m kind of surprised by how low key this was. The match wound up being a means to get to the Austin interference that everyone knew was coming. That doesn’t make it a bad thing, but the match was kind of off. That’s not to say it was bad, but it was kind of an odd course for them to take. The fact that everyone was just waiting for Austin didn’t help either.

The Dudettes mob Dude to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different kind of show as it was hitting the ground running after last night’s major show. A lot of things happened in these two hours with Shawn turning heel, Patriot emerging as Bret’s first challenger, and the announcement that Austin is going to be out of action for a bit. A show like this is often necessary but almost always feels strange because of how things are being set up instead of happening now. It’s still entertaining though and makes me want to come back for more, which is the most important part.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 24, 2005
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before the Royal Rumble and since it’s Batista’s match to win, he has to qualify tonight. Other than that, we should get more not too bad promos from Randy Orton and HHH before their World Title match on Sunday, which will be a lot worse than the buildup. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Kane chokeslamming Gene Snitsky off the stage last week. The conversation they had on the ground is omitted.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs. Edge/Christian/Tyson Tomko

Well if you insist. Shawn headlocks Christian to start and an early Edge distraction doesn’t work. Benoit comes in and slides between Christian’s legs but it’s off to Tomko. That’s fine with Benoit, who takes him into the corner for the chops and a tag to Jericho. Tomko keeps shoving him out of the corner so Jericho drop toeholds him and starts a little dance. Must be a Canadian thing.

The threat of the Walls makes everything break down and Christian gets launched over the top and onto his partners as we take a break. Back with Benoit in trouble as tends to be the case when you come back from a commercial. Benoit gets over for the tag to Shawn, who is quickly low bridged out to the floor. Christian’s neckbreaker gets two and Tomko drops a fast elbow.

The chinlock goes on (with Christian’s back to the camera, which changes….well very little actually) but Shawn fights up and hits a Thesz press. It’s still too early for the hot tag though as Edge is more than willing to come in with Shawn down. Christian goes over to yell at Jericho, drawing him in so the referee can’t see a small package.

Shawn gets in a double clothesline and they’re both down. The hot tag brings in Benoit for a barrage of suplexes, including one to Edge onto Christian. The rolling German suplexes drop Christian and it’s the Swan Dive into the Sharpshooter. Edge breaks that up in a hurry but Shawn superkicks Tomko into a rollup to give Benoit the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with the right person taking the fall. We even got a few tastes of Edge vs. Shawn before their big match on Sunday for a nice bonus. The rest of the people don’t exactly matter as they’ll be in the Rumble, so this was almost all bonus stuff and it went quite well.

Smackdown Rebound.

Here’s Stacy Keibler for a chat. Jerry: “Wouldn’t you like to be her thigh master?” Apparently the Governor has declared today Jim Ross Day in Oklahoma and here’s Danny Hodge, who at 72 years old is able to jump over the top, to help celebrate it. We see a clip of the Jim Ross Day event, which really is a cool honor. Back in the arena, Stacy even throws in a kiss on the cheek. JR talks about how much he loves being from Oklahoma and how much he wishes his parents could be here, but he knows they’re watching.

Cue HHH and Ric Flair to interrupt though and I don’t see this ending well. HHH says this would bring a tear to a glass eye because Oklahoma is celebrating JR Day. HHH: “Are you guys that big a losers that you have nothing going on but JIM ROSS?” Flair talks about the Oklahoma Sooners getting crushed against USC earlier in the month and HHH busts out laughing.

HHH sends JR and Hodge packing, thankfully before Hodge can take him down and remove a variety of his limbs. Stacy gets to stay though as HHH grabs her wrist and hits on her. JR actually stands up to HHH because that’s what a man does. This might be a bit better of a John Wayne moment if he didn’t have lipstick on his cheek. HHH says if JR doesn’t leave, he’ll be sooner dead.

Flair hits him low so Hodge decks HHH in the jaw, setting up a double beatdown. Stacy gets dragged back to the middle of the ring because HHH wants a kiss. Actually he has a better idea and loads up a Pedigree, drawing out Randy Orton for the save. Thanks for coming when the announcer and 72 year old man were getting beaten down Randy. I just want to see more Danny Hodge looking awesome.

Post break HHH and Flair are in the back with HHH pulling up Candice Michelle’s skirt. They head into their locker room and find Batista, who didn’t see what just happened. HHH recaps everything but Batista doesn’t exactly seem impressed, mainly because Hodge is seventy years old and Keibler is tiny. Flair: “She loved it.” Batista changes the subject and says he’s getting in on that Royal Rumble qualifying match. HHH isn’t happy but Batista says that maybe HHH loses to Orton on Sunday. Then Batista can take it back at Wrestlemania and keep it in Evolution. Flair’s side eye glare at Batista is rather great here.

Post another break, William Regal comes in to see Eric Bischoff about a Royal Rumble spot. That’s not happening because Regal was a jerk last year about Eugene. Coach can have it instead. La Resistance comes in but so does Batista. For some reason La Resistance challenges Batista for the Rumble spot, apparently not being all that bright. Batista doesn’t think much of them and promises to stick the flag somewhere else.

Coach is in the ring and has a change made to the following Royal Rumble qualifying match. Now it’s an Over the Top Rope Challenge.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Viscera vs. Tajiri

Viscera shrugs off the mist and some kicks before throwing Tajiri out to win in less than thirty seconds.

We recap Kane chokeslamming Trish Stratus last week and the ensuing chokeslam off the stage to Gene Snitsky.

Tajiri is upset that he didn’t qualify for the Royal Rumble but Regal comes in with an idea about getting back at Bischoff. First though, Regal hits on Maria but gets shot down in a funny bit.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Batista vs. La Resistance

La Resistance doesn’t have to tag here so Batista breaks up the song. House is cleaned in a hurry but Batista misses a charge into the post. The fans get WAY behind Batista as he gets stomped down but Conway makes the mistake of slapping him in the face. That means a powerslam as HHH and Flair look on in fear. Grenier gets spinebustered onto Conway for the pin in a hurry. And that’s why the Tag Team Titles are worthless.

Post match Batista plant the flag between the two of them. Flair is impressed but HHH isn’t pleased. The official face turn is going to be massive.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Val Venis vs. Muhammad Hassan

Daivari rants at Venis during his entrance and Hassan gets in a cheap shot to take over from behind. That sets up the variety of kicking and stomping as Daivari continues to rant on the microphone. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock, with Daivari wanting Venis’ neck broken. Hassan gets in a slam to keep Venis down and it’s back to the chinlock with a knee in the back. Venis fights up and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but misses the Money Shot. The Downward Spiral gives Hassan the easy pin.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah Hassan is in trouble and there’s not much of a way around it. This was as lame of a match as you could get with Hassan having no heat and Daivari just being annoying in an attempt to get him some. It didn’t help that Hassan’s offense is as generic as you can get and the fans were falling asleep in less than five minutes.

HHH tells Batista that the final spot in the Royal Rumble is going to Ric Flair, though Flair isn’t sure about this one. HHH talks him into it though, saying Evolution is united.

Maven is in the ring and wants someone to put their Royal Rumble spot on the line.

Kane vs. Maven

Maven: “I DIDN’T MEAN YOU!” Hang on though as Kane is too banged up so Maven won’t do this to him. He issues the challenge again.

Maven vs. Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

The monsters are both heavily bandaged and Maven has to win to get in the Rumble. Maven is smart enough to let the two of them hit each other and then steals two on Snitsky. Kane clotheslines Snitsky down so Maven goes after Kane’s bad arm. That goes as well as you would expect as Kane shoves Maven away and hits the chokeslam to finish Snitsky. This was nothing.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

Recap of Steve Austin’s press conference, which was about him making movies for WWE Films.

Royal Rumble rundown, featuring both sets of commentators listing off matches.

Edge can’t wait for Sunday because he’s sat out the last two Wrestlemanias with a broken neck. Sunday, it’s time for him to beat Shawn Michaels and then win the Royal Rumble.

Chris Masters is still coming.

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Batista and HHH are here with Flair. It’s an energetic start for Flair as he runs Orton over with a shoulder. A poke to the eye and a chop have Orton in more trouble, meaning it’s time for the chops in the corner. Orton is right back with a backdrop and the fans….don’t really seem to care. Flair gets away and heads up top for exactly what you would expect to happen.

With nothing else working, HHH trips Orton but Batista gets ejected for it instead. Batista glares down at HHH, who can’t look him in the eye. We take a break and come back with Flair still in trouble and being knocked out to the floor. A suplex brings him back inside for two but HHH offers a distraction so Flair can get in a low blow (a common move for him tonight).

Flair hammers away at Orton’s bandaged head to bust him open again. The throat gets catapulted into the bottom rope but Orton gets fired up. The right hands and chops have no effect so Orton knocks him into the corner. HHH offers another distraction though and it’s a chop block to slow Orton down again.

The ref gets bumped though, allowing HHH to come in with a belt shot to the knee. Given how unimportant this match is, what took him so long? The Figure Four goes on and the blood is flowing until Orton turns it over. HHH pulls the referee out and it’s time to really work on the leg. A middle rope belt shot to the knee is blocked with a raised boot and it’s the RKO for the pin. The match hadn’t been thrown out yet?

Rating: D+. Not terrible but Orton couldn’t be more of a lame duck going into Sunday if his life depended on it. The fans have moved on and while that isn’t Orton’s fault (given how bad the last few months have gone for him, it’s completely expected), it’s also not a surprise whatsoever. Why in the world would I care about Orton’s title push when Batista is clearly the next big thing?

Overall Rating: D. Speaking of lame ducks, that’s exactly what this show was due to how well WWE has built up Batista. Aside from John Cena, there is no one with any chance of winning the Royal Rumble and sitting through a bunch of qualifying matches so we can see them have no chance on Sunday wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. That being said, the build for Batista is one of the most underrated in years as they have hit it to perfection on every point. Getting through Sunday will help, but it wasn’t the easiest show to get through on the way there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 17, 2005
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The focus is on Canada this week with Chris Benoit facing Chris Jericho in a challenge match. Other than that, the big story is likely to be the continuing issues between HHH and Batista, the latter of whom is starting to rebel against his boss. This seems to be leading to the Royal Rumble, where Randy Orton is getting a World Title shot after beating Batista last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Orton beating Batista, though not before planing some seeds in Batista’s mind about HHH using him.

Opening sequence.

We open with the Highlight Reel and you know the fans are going to love Jericho here. Before we get to the guest though, Jericho brings up that he won a match last night and is officially in the Royal Rumble. See how much easier that is than having us sit through a match that had an obvious ending? Jericho has something else to say but here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari to interrupt.

Jericho rants about how they came out before their introduction so Hassan rants about being forgotten. We get a proper introduction (with Jericho being called a creepy little sidekick) before Jericho mocks Hassan for being so serious all the time. Shouldn’t he be happier that we’re in Canada tonight? Hassan says Jericho is right as he’s felt a connection to Canada. See, in the US, Canadians are viewed as second class citizens.

They deserve it though because the REAL terrorists gained access to America through Canada. That’s why everyone here booing him is a hypocrite. See, Canadians are afraid to show their true feelings because they can’t back it up in a confrontation. Jericho tells him to shut the h*** up so Daivari rants at him for a bit.

Jericho has been studying though and offers a translation: Fozzy’s All That Remains comes out tomorrow and Daivari wants an autographed CD! Well he didn’t say please so that’s not happening. Hassan keeps ranting and the fight is on with Jericho putting on the Walls. Daivari breaks it up though and it’s a double beatdown until Chris Benoit comes inf or the save.

HHH and Ric Flair arrive with Ric insisting that everything is cool with Batista. They didn’t actually talk, but Flair has a feeling about it. HHH isn’t impressed.

La Resistance/Maven vs. Shelton Benjamin/Rosey/Hurricane

La Resistance are Tag Team Champions again, having won the titles in a handicap last night over William Regal. Fair enough as they didn’t have many other options with Eugene being out for months. Benjamin and Conway slug it out to start and Maven’s interference is scared off by a single glare.

Hurricane comes in for WHATUPWITHDAT and a thumb to the eye. A cheap shot from Maven lets Grenier throw Hurricane to the floor, followed by the chinlock back inside. That’s broken up with an atomic drop and it’s off to Rosey as the fans don’t seem interested. Rosey sits on Conway’s chest for two with Shelton making the save. Everything breaks down and Au Revoir finishes Rosey.

Rating: D. Just a match here with La Resistance getting their footing back after a quick title win. It’s not like they have anyone to feud with at the moment so this was about as good as they were going to get. Maven is much, much better suited in this role and while he isn’t going to win anything, it’s better than watching him take up a spot he’s not ready to be in.

Stacy Keibler wishes Randy Orton luck tonight and kisses him on the cheek. Orton doesn’t seem to mind.

Steve Austin is having a press conference on Wednesday.

Here’s Orton for a chat. This is a special place for Orton as he won the World Title right here back at Summerslam. Orton cried that night because no one thought he could pull this off. Then the next night, HHH ruined everything by throwing him out of Evolution. Now Orton wants it all back and he’s coming for it all at the Royal Rumble.

This brings out HHH, who says he’s heard this from Orton before. HHH is going to make him suffer because HHH is the greatest wrestler alive today. We hear all the names that HHH has beaten before but Orton says he’s heard this before. He had to hear every day when he was in Evolution, from the car to the gym to the hotel.

HHH says he’s sick of saying it but he has to do it because some young punk kid like him keeps coming out here and trying to take his spot. The fight is teased but HHH says it’s his time. Dang I miss that song. Orton charges up the ramp and the fight is on, with Flair coming out to help. That doesn’t go well as Orton beats up both of them, albeit with the help of a chair. This still isn’t interesting, but points for calling out HHH for his interviews being repetitive.

Post break HHH is livid and bubbly Maria comes up to ask him a question. He shouts her down and storms into his locker room where Batista is waiting. You can see HHH’s mood change because he knows Batista is a big problem if handled wrong. Batista is ok with what happened last week and HHH calms down a bit. Right now though, Batista needs to talk to Eric Bischoff about something.

HHH offers to go get whatever Batista wants, but Batista is talking about getting in the Royal Rumble and getting a shot at the title. HHH: “….my….my World Title?” I watched this story as it airs but watching it back, it deserves WAY more credit than it receives. They’re hitting every point to near perfection and I’m digging it.

Shawn Michaels talks about how he’s tried to apologize to Canada but for now, he’s focused on the Royal Rumble. See, if he wins tonight and wins the World Title, Edge can’t be champion. Bischoff comes up and goes over Shawn’s Royal Rumble history, including winning in 1996 to take the title from Bret Hart. Based on that history, Shawn is in, but he gets to fight Christian tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian

Christian, with Tyson Tomko, gets the big hometown hero pop. Before Shawn comes out, we look at his rather good brawl with Edge last week. Edge comes out and we take a break before the bell. We’re joined in progress with both guys getting up for the slugout. A backdrop sends Christian to the floor as the fans just do not let up on Shawn. Edge offers a distraction so Tomko can get in a cheap shot and the Canadians rejoice.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by a backbreaker to keep it on. Shawn fights up and gets in a Thesz press as the fans continue their anti-Shawn tradition. Edge tries to come in with a spear but misses, allowing Shawn to drop the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Unprettier attempt which is countered into Sweet chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a match here as Christian isn’t big enough to give Shawn a real threat. What matters here is letting Edge get out there to mess with Shawn a bit because Edge does feel like he could give Shawn trouble. This was perfectly watchable though and that’s better than a lot of what we get on Raw.

Post match Edge hits the spear and puts on the Edgecator, making him look like a bigger star than he has been in years.

Batista vs. Viscera

Big pop for Batista. Viscera powers him around to start but Batista gets in some shoulders in the corner. A middle rope forearm to the back has Viscera in trouble but he’s right back with a Samoan drop. The big elbow gets two as Flair and HHH are watching in the back. Batista is right back with a spinebuster for the pin. This was a total face performance from Batista and there’s no other way to present him at this point. It’s a perfect rise to the top of the card and it’s been a lot of fun to watch.

Batista comes back in to see HHH and Flair. Next week, he can have a Royal Rumble qualifying match, if he wants it. HHH says “Uhhh…..” as Flair shakes his head no. See, Evolution should have one focus at the Royal Rumble and it should be Randy Orton. It would be a little selfish for Batista to enter the match because it could lead to Batista wanting a title shot. That would make it all about Batista and not Evolution because he would sound like Orton. Batista agrees because no one likes a selfish, self-centered egomaniac. The stare at HHH as he said that wasn’t exactly hidden.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

The fans aren’t sure what to do here as they start with some grappling on the mat. The standoff gets some polite applause and Benoit takes him down into an armbar. Jericho reverses into one of his own but Benoit starts rolling some German suplexes. A cross armbreaker is broken up and another standoff takes us to a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock and catching Benoit on top with a butterfly superplex. Some near falls ensue before Benoit suplexes him to the floor, only to fall outside with him. Back in and a very hard clothesline gives Benoit two as the fans are getting quiet again. The rolling German suplexes have Jericho rocked but the Swan Dive misses. Jericho can’t follow up so Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but gets small packaged for the pin.

Rating: C+. The crowd hurt things a good bit here as they didn’t want to boo either of them but cheering would mean a knock on the other guy so they sat there quietly for the most part. The wrestling was good stuff of course, but they never cranked it up as these two know how to do. With no issue though, why would they do that?

We recap Gene Snitsky vs. Kane, which is happening again tonight because reasons.

Chris Masters is coming.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Here’s Trish Stratus to another hometown pop for a chat. Trish runs down America for mocking her so often but that’s beside the point. She’s not here to say she told us so, but she told us she would take the title back from Lita, which she did. Trish destroyed Lita’s knee and she’s going to be out for a long, long time. But don’t worry, because there is a locker room full of men who would be more than happy to impregnate Lita. Cue Kane to chase Trish off but he throws her back inside. Kane lets go of the chokeslam though and smiles….before chokeslamming her anyway.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No holds barred. They slug it out on the floor with Kane charging into a big boot. The clothesline off the barricade drops Snitsky though and they go inside for the first time. The threat of a chokeslam sends Snitsky right back to the floor and he gets in a bell shot to take over. It’s time for a weightlifting belt (which just happened to be underneath the ring) and the whipping is on. The fans would rather do the Wave though Kane’s comeback seems to get their attention.

A chair is brought in but Snitsky knocks it out of his hands. The GO LEAFS GO chant starts up as Snitsky wraps the chair around Kane’s throat. Kane gets up and chairs Snitsky off the middle rope though and it’s time for another whipping. They fight up to the stage with Snitsky going into the steel. Snitsky misses the big right hand and gets chokeslammed off the stage with Kane going with him through the table. That’s good for a no contest of course.

Rating: D+. The fans’ reaction isn’t a good sign here as there’s no interest left in this feud. Kane defeated him cleanly at the pay per view so why should it keep going? He has his revenge and Snitsky lost his appeal as soon as someone beat him for the first time. This didn’t need to happen and the fans didn’t care, which tells you a lot about where these two are.

Post match everyone checks on the two of them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Batista is carrying this show right now, but you don’t need to do anything else going into the Rumble. There are some other good things going on at the moment so it’s not a bad show, but there are parts of it that are better than others. Just getting Batista right is all that matters, and it’s working very well right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 10, 2005
Location: Office Depot Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after New Year’s Revolution and, of course, HHH is the World Champion again. This time isn’t so bad though as it’s pretty clear that Batista is waiting in the wings and will be the next big challenger as soon as the timing is right. That’s the only way they can go at the moment but we have the Royal Rumble in less than three weeks to help get us there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s HHH to open things up because of course he does. During his long entrance, JR calls the place the Home Depot Center in a somewhat funny error. HHH says you can have whatever excuse you want but the truth is that no one can do what he does. It doesn’t matter who it is, what show they’re on or what title they hold because no one can hold a candle to him.

Last night he survived and overcame the odds to get his World Title back. At Wrestlemania XX, everyone thought HHH was done. But now it’s 2005 and one bestselling book, one hit movie and one World Title reign later, and it’s clear that he’s just hitting his stride. Ric Flair says they should have the fans’ respect and HHH says every fan here is useless. There is someone else who is very useful though and last night, he dominated the Elimination Chamber.

This brings out Batista but before he can say anything, it’s Randy Orton coming out as well. HHH: “Look guys, it’s the legend killer!” Orton has no place at a celebration for winners because he’s a loser so get out of here. Orton talks about eliminating Batista last night and has footage to show that HHH doesn’t have Batista’s back. We see a clip of HHH watching Batista get pinned in the Chamber when he had the chance to make a save.

That makes Batista take his sunglasses off but a nervous HHH says he had been in the match for 45 minutes (he loves saying that time for long matches) and lost so much blood that his knees buckled. Orton doesn’t wait for Batista’s explanation and shows another clip of HHH having Batista hold him up on his shoulders after the match was over. Flair gave him the thumbs up, but Orton knows that it’s going to be a thumbs down when the time is right.

Now Batista’s jacket comes off as Orton demands a title shot tonight. Cue Eric Bischoff to say that Orton is allowed a rematch….if he can beat Batista in a #1 contenders match tonight. This was as clear of a confirmation as you can get that Orton is clinging to popularity by his fingertips as the Batista train is pulling away. Orton was just there while the fans loved Batista, which tells you everything you need to know about their futures.

Raw and Smackdown are coming to Japan next month.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

Non-title and a rematch from last night where Benjamin beat Maven twice. Maven goes straight at him to start and uses a distracted referee to get in a low blow. The early neck crank goes on but Shelton is up with a backdrop. The Dragon Whip sets up the Exploder to finish Maven in a hurry. So much for that push.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Hurricane

Daivari and Rosey are here as seconds. Before the match, Hassan talks about dealing a blow to the biased American media last night. The personal revolution continues though and it’s time to show what Hassan thinks of truth, justice and the American way. An early Daivari distraction lets Hassan get in a clothesline and some right hands to take over. We hit the cobra clutch but Hurricane fights up with his own clotheslines. The Shining Wizard misses though and Hassan hits the Downward Spiral for the pin. It was better than last night against Lawler but that’s not saying much.

Wrestlemania Recall: Pete Rose meets Kane.

HHH tells Batista that he has his full support against Orton tonight. It would be an honor to defend the title against Batista at Wrestlemania and Batista deserves it. Batista: “Eventually, we all get what we deserve.” Again: Batista sounds cool, looks cool and wrestles cool. How could he not be a smash hit?

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Rhyno

Edge is banged up from the Chamber last night so Rhyno forearms him in the corner to start and sends him hard into the corner. Rhyno charges into a right hand to the face and Edge wraps his ribs around the post. Back in and Rhyno is fine enough to hit a powerslam for two but Edge is right back with the spear. The Edgecator makes Rhyno tap.

Rating: D+. The ending wasn’t quite in doubt and it’s nice to have Edge come back with a win to make up for last night’s loss. That being said, you can pencil him in for a big showdown with Shawn Michaels and that’s only going to help him. Edge is looking like a star in the making, but he has some more work to do.

Post match Edge says he isn’t happy because he wants Shawn out here to settle things once and for all. Back from a break as Edge says he knew Shawn wouldn’t come out here without the cameras rolling. Edge recaps his issues with Shawn and here’s Shawn in the flesh. Shawn talks about Edge complaining about everything and sounding like the world should just roll over for him. He knows that because Shawn did the exact same thing back in his day.

Some fans cut him off with a YOU SCREWED BRET chant but Edge doesn’t want to listen to him. Shawn: “What is it with you folks coming to Florida? Stay in your own country!” Edge needs to stop complaining about the past and look to the future because he can be a star. He needs to take action, like winning the Royal Rumble instead of being glad that he got a spot.

Shawn asks if this is getting through to him and that’s an affirmative, as he slaps Shawn in the face and they brawl to the floor. Back from a break and they’re still fighting in the back, eventually heading into a concession stand until some referees break it up. Good brawl, though the interruption from the fans took away a lot of the momentum they had going.

Here’s Simon Dean to talk about how popular Florida can be. It’s known for its weather and sunny beaches, but now those beaches are filled with fat people. Simon has the solution though: his fat burning pills. Unfortunately he doesn’t have enough for everyone here….and here’s Kane to interrupt. Kane tries a pill but spits it out, saying that they’re the worst tasting things he’s ever had. After shoving some pills into Simon’s mouth, the beating is on but here’s Snitsky to chair Kane down. Kane spits up blood as Snitsky whips him with Simon’s weightlifting belt. So did last night’s match mean anything?

HHH sends Flair to tell Batista he doesn’t do well against Orton. Flair: “You think that’ll motivate him?” The mental games continue.

Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Jericho are both banged up. Jericho chops Christian to start and stomps away in the corner. It’s off to Benoit (pop) for some kicks to the ribs but Christian sends him chest first into the buckle. Tomko comes in and knees Benoit in the ribs to stay on the injury with a slam making it even worse. Benoit gets sent outside with Christian dropping him ribs first onto the barricade as the pain continues.

Back in and the front facelock goes on and the comeback is cut off with a backbreaker to give Christian two. Tomko grabs a chinlock but Benoit German suplexes him down, allowing the hot tag to Jericho. Everything breaks down and it’s the walls on Tomko and the Crossface on Christian for the double tap.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here, even with the four of them following the formula pretty much to the letter. It worked well enough and this was a fine example of a match that was just there for the sake of filling in some time with a decent performance. That worked well enough here and it’s not like Christian and Tomko are hurt that badly by the loss.

Flair tells HHH that it didn’t work and HHH isn’t happy.

Your boot of the week: Lita tears her ACL.

With that devastating injury out of the way, let’s have a lingerie pillow fight between Maria and Christy with Candice Michelle as guest referee. There’s a bed, Christy comes out in her lingerie, Maria disrobes, Lilian and Candice get involved, they hit each other with pillows and Christy wins. This is a thing that happened for obvious reasons.

The Masterpiece Chris Masters is coming.

Next week: Benoit vs. Jericho and Kane vs. Snitsky. One of these things is not like the other.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

The winner gets HHH for the title at some point in the future. Speaking of HHH, he and Flair are watching at ringside. Orton’s right hands have limited effects as Batista shoulders him down. A powerslam doesn’t work so Orton hammers away again, only to run into another shoulder. The choking on the ropes begins and HHH is rather pleased. Orton sends him outside though and we take a break.

Back with Orton slugging away even more and managing to knock Batista outside again. The brawling goes to Batista though and he takes Orton inside for some right hands and more choking. They’re not exactly going all that hard with the offense here. Orton goes shoulder first into the post and Batista crushes his head against the steel for a rather cruel bonus. A neckbreaker gives Batista two and the chinlock keeps Orton in trouble. In something I can’t remember seeing in a long time, Orton uses the rope to get out of the chinlock.

Batista pounds away even more as HHH is on his feet watching for a change. Now the powerslam connects for two and a spinebuster makes it even worse. The Batista Bomb is countered though and Orton grabs a DDT for a double knockdown. Orton stomps away and shoves the referee, allowing Flair to get on the apron. He’s knocked right back off though and Orton hits the backbreaker on Batista. The RKO is blocked though and HHH offers Batista a chair. He doesn’t need it, but the distraction lets Orton send Batista into the chair for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Batista continues to look like a star and while I’m not wild on the idea of him getting pinned two nights in a row, it makes some sense to have him slowed down a little bit, especially with Orton likely getting the title shot at the Rumble. The bigger issue here though is HHH costing Batista the match, which is going to get a lot more interesting in a hurry.

Batista is furious at HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well last night’s show wasn’t very good and now they’ve followed it up with an only somewhat better Raw. The good thing though is they’re setting up the Royal Rumble, which is one of the most important shows of the year. Orton vs. HHH can be done for good (for now) and we can get to what should be the most obvious Wrestlemania title matches in years. This show wasn’t much to see though, save for Edge vs. Shawn and HHH vs. Batista heating up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

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