Money in the Bank 2010
Date: July 18, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

This was streamed almost a year ago and for me, that’s a pretty fast turnaround. One of the things that often interests me is looking back at a show that I haven’t thought about since maybe two days after it originally aired. This is the inaugural standalone edition of the match, which makes it a bit more interesting as there was already a Money In The Bank match at Wrestlemania. Other than that there’s…well whatever else is on this show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about what you are willing to risk to have your dreams come true. Makes enough sense.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Big Show

For the Smackdown briefcase and Kingston is Intercontinental Champion. Striker talks about how Jack Swagger (6’6) has set the precedent for giants winning the briefcase. Cole immediately points out that size means nothing in these matches, cutting Striker off at the knees in the process. It’s a big brawl to start with Rhodes setting up a ladder and trying to go up. That doesn’t work well at all, as Kane and Show break it up and get in a fight of their own. Show gets the better of things and tries to climb…but breaks the rung.

After beating some people up, Show throws the ladder over the top and down onto Kane. Show goes outside to get a different ladder and is promptly beaten down. McIntyre loads up another ladder and sends Christian into it, meaning it’s time to set up the ladder inside. Hardy cuts him off but has to trade saves with Christian. Ziggler goes up top and slugs it out with Christian, who shoves him down.

Hardy breaks that up as well but the two of them have to double DDT Kane. Christian drops Hardy onto a bridged ladder but Hardy fights back and goes up again. That’s broken up as McIntyre pulls him down and sends various people into the post. Kane is back again and loads up the announcers’ table (Lawler makes sure to get his WWE Slurpee out of the way) but opts to grab a ladder instead.

Kingston (hey he’s still in this match) dropkicks the ladder into Kane’s face and then hits Trouble In Paradise to knock McIntyre onto the announcers’ table. The Boom Drop off the ladder drives McIntyre through the table (Striker: “That’s a Money In The Bank moment for Kofi Kingston!” Shut up Striker.) and they’re both down. Ziggler goes up and gets chokeslammed by Show, who then gets in a fight with Kane.

Show knocks him outside and then crushes Hardy and Christian underneath another ladder. That’s enough for Show to go outside and grab a huge, extra thick ladder. The ladder apparently weighs 350lbs so Show….can’t pull it over the top. He finally wakes up and shifts it underneath the top rope to get it inside. That takes way too long though and Rhodes makes the save with a ladder shot to the knee.

Ziggler pulls Rhodes down and goes in the direction of the giant ladder, with Show having none of that. Kingston springboards onto the ladder and tornado DDTs Show down. Rhodes dropkicks Kingston but gets sent crashing into the ladder to leave everyone down. It’s Show up next and climbing the big ladder, with Kane shoving him off and out to the floor. That means it’s time to bury Show underneath a pile of ladders, which is quite the visual.

A bunch of people go up the big ladder (which is big enough for two people to go up one side at a time), with Kane wrecking almost everyone. Ziggler jumps up behind him and grabs a sleeper, earning him a crash onto the pile of ladders (and Show underneath). Kingston is chokeslammed onto the same pile before Kane chases Rhodes up the ramp.

Rhodes is rammed into one of the armored trucks, allowing Kane to go up the ladder again. That’s cut off by Hardy and Christian’s double powerbomb, who get in a fight on top of the ladder. Both of them go crashing down…and McIntyre crawls back inside. He makes the slow climb, only to get chokeslammed by Kane, who gets the briefcase to win at 26:19.

Rating: B. There was a great match in there somewhere but it went on a bit too long and that hurt the whole things a bit. As a result, it was more just a good one, with all kinds of carnage and some big crashes. Show being buried was cool and Kane felt like an unstoppable monster who finally won the thing. I liked it quite a bit, but shave about five to eight minutes off and it’s that much better.

Raw World Champion Sheamus doesn’t want to hear about John Cena and the Nexus. Sheamus has been watching Nexus’ random attacks but he believed he was untouchable. Then on Raw he stared into their eyes and it was like looking at a soulless great white shark. He knows you have to worry about the Nexus, but no, of course he doesn’t respect Cena. Tonight, he’ll give Cena a worse beating than the Nexus did because he’s a bigger threat.

Raw Women’s Title: Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox

Fox is defending. They fight over a lockup to start until Torres gets some rollups for two each. Torres’ running knee in the corner connects but a tornado DDT is blocked. Fox sends her back first into the apron and then bends said back over her knee. The double arm crank is on to stay on the back but Torres monkey flips her way out. Torres’ back gives out a bit but she’s able to put Fox down, setting up the standing moonsault for two. A kick to the head looks to set up a middle rope Swanton, which hits Fox’s raised knees. The ax kick retains the title at 5:53.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a particularly great match but they had an easy story to follow and it made perfectly simple sense. You could see things going a bit better for the division around this point as the women were certainly getting at least a bit better. We were a long way off from it being great, but this is definitely a better result.

We look at Jack Swagger attacking Kane on Smackdown, with Rey Mysterio making the save and beating up Papa Swagger (as played by Bunkhouse Buck).

Swagger is on the phone with his mom, who isn’t happy with what he did. He finally tells her to shut up and seems to blame his father for what happened. Swagger says his dad got what he deserved for trying to steal the spotlight. He couldn’t risk Kane hurting him and his dad would have done the same thing. Tonight his dad can bask in his glory when he wins the World Title.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Hart Dynasty

The Usos, challenging and with Tamina (while Natalya is with the champs) have only been around for about two months and this is their first feud. Smith and Jey trade waistlocks to start with Smith getting the better of things. Kidd comes in for a hurricanrana but Jey goes with the more classic method of hitting Hart in the face. It’s off to Jimmy (thank goodness for different tights) to stomp away in the corner, followed by Jey’s running Umaga Attack for two.

The chinlock goes on but Smith is up with a backdrop to get out of trouble. Jimmy is right there to cut off the tag though and some stomping gets two. We’re already back to the chinlock, which is broken up just as fast for the tag to Kidd. House is cleaned but Kidd misses a blind tag and gets tossed into a Samoan drop for two. The Superfly Splash hits raised knees and it’s back to Smith for the big shoulder. Tamina’s distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter so Natalya takes her down, meaning the Sharpshooter can retain the titles at 5:53.

Rating: C+. This was a Raw match and pretty much nothing more, making it another case of filler. That’s kind of what happens when you have a pair of eight person matches as you don’t have much else to fill in the card. Unfortunately this isn’t the kind of a match that can be stretched out much longer, as 2010 wasn’t the best time for the tag division (granted that could be said about most of the time for….decades really).

We recap Rey Mysterio defending the Smackdown World Title against Jack Swagger. Mysterio won the title in a four way last month but now he has a torn ligament in his ankle. That’s quite the target for Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger

Mysterio is defending and badly limping on the way to the ring. Swagger goes right for the ankle to start, with Mysterio bailing straight to the ropes every time. An ankle lock attempt is cut off by some kicks to the head but it’s way too early for a 619. Instead Swagger powerslams him into the corner and ties him in the Tree Of Woe. The running shoulder misses though and Swagger bails outside, with Mysterio hitting a top rope seated senton

Back in and Mysterio gets caught on top, setting up a release belly to belly superplex. They head back outside, with Mysterio being sent into the announcers’ table for two back inside. Swagger starts in on the leg but Mysterio gets up, only to dive into…something like a Samoan drop. The running Vader Bomb misses though and Mysterio sends him into the corner for a split legged moonsault and a near fall. The sitout bulldog is countered into a wheelbarrow suplex to drop Mysterio again and a gutwrench powerbomb gets two.

A hurricanrana sends Swagger into the post but Swagger picks him up for a super powerslam. That’s reversed into a tornado DDT for a rather near fall and now the 619 connects. The West Coast Pop is blocked though and the Vader Bomb crushed Mysterio. Another Vader Bomb hits but Swagger would rather go after the leg than cover. The ankle lock goes on but Mysterio loses his boot and grabs a hurricanrana to retain at 10:46.

Rating: C+. So Swagger is done as a main eventer right? His whole thing is working on the ankle and he was fighting a much smaller opponent who had a bad ankle. Not only did he look like an idiot for not covering after hitting his other finisher twice, he then loses at all. The match was fine as a midcard fight, but this really didn’t feel like a World Title match.

Post match Swagger jumps him again and grabs the ankle lock. Cue Kane for the save and he chases Swagger to the back. Mysterio gets back up…and Kane is back with the briefcase. Eh points for a nice fake out.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and tries to limp away but gets caught with a chokeslam. A Tombstone gives Kane the pin and the title at 53 seconds.  It’s LONG past the point where Kane got another title so I’ll take it.

Edge is watching in the back when Chris Jericho interrupts. Edge tells him he has eyes in the back of his head and they bicker over Money In The Bank in hushed tones.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is defending and Michelle McCool and Tiffany are here too. To give you an idea of where the title was at this point, Layla’s big issue with Kelly is….she thinks Kelly smells bad. Kelly slaps her into the corner to start but misses a handspring elbow. Layla can’t get very far and is kicked outside, where she ties Kelly’s knee up in the ring skirt. That means Layla can start in on the leg, with McCool getting to laugh at her.

Layla baseball slides Kelly into McCool, who sits on the barricade to pose a bit. Kelly shoves her down and hits the K2 back inside, with McCool putting the foot on the rope. That earns McCool a double clothesline on the floor so Kelly tries a middle rope sunset flip, which is (badly) reversed into a rollup to retain at 3:53.

Rating: D+. This was quite the mess, with the interference either not doing much or feeling like it was just a way to fill in time. That’s on top of Kelly losing clean in the end, which is hardly a way to make her look like important. And again: a title match was set up over someone smelling bad. What more do you need to know here?

We look back at the Smackdown Money In The Bank ladder match and Kane cashing in.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Ted DiBiase vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne vs. Edge

Raw Money In The Bank, Miz is US Champion, and DiBiase’s theme music starts with “IT’S A NEW DAY!” Like that would ever catch on in wrestling. Edge throws in a ladder and gets inside for the opening bell before bailing out to the floor. The other seven clear the ring so Edge goes up the ladder with Orton making the save. DiBiase drops Morrison onto a ladder but Bourne cuts him off with a ladder shot.

Miz and Jericho get in a fight, with Miz actually getting the better of things until Henry throws a ladder at both of them. Henry gets knocked outside so Bourne goes up, with Orton making a save this time. The hanging DDT drops Bourne off the ladder but Morrison is back up with a Flying Chuck to Orton. Miz and DiBiase get sent into a ladder bridged in the corner so it’s time for a bunch of people to go up. Henry makes the save and clears out a pair of ladders but gets knocked down as well. With everyone on the floor, Maryse (here with DiBiase) takes off her heels and goes up but Morrison pulls her down.

The distraction lets DiBiase get most of the way up until Morrison makes another save. Miz leans a ladder against the post on the floor as Cole starts singing his praises. Morrison is right there again and uses the ladder to climb up top, where he then rides another ladder to the main ladder to stop Edge.

Unfortunately that lets Edge trap Morrison in the ladder and put another ladder over him but DiBiase is back in. A ladder winds up upside down and we’ve got a big old contraption. For some reason DiBiase dives at Henry, who plants him with a World’s Strongest Slam. Miz gets dropped onto a ladder onto Jericho but Edge and Orton cut Henry off from the climb. Henry is sent outside, where he gives Bourne a World’s Strongest Slam of his own. Edge spears Henry and a bunch of people climb up at once.

DiBiase is laid on a bridged ladder and shoved down to the floor for a heck of a nasty crash. An RKO hits Edge, leaving Edge and Morrison to go up top. Jericho winds up hanging upside down and Bourne hits Air Bourne on Orton. Bourne touches the briefcase but Jericho pulls himself up for the save. Jericho shoves Bourne down for a heck of a crash of his own so Edge goes up at the same time. Edge knocks Jericho into an RKO but gets shoved into the upside down ladder (OUCH). Orton goes up but gets shoved down by Miz, who gets the briefcase for the win at 20:38.

Rating: B. This was a bit shorter than the opener, though it didn’t have quite the same huge feeling as the other either. At the same time, I can absolutely go for Miz winning as you have to give someone new the chance. Despite not being the most popular star, Miz absolutely earned this and he elevated himself through the roster for years to get to this point. It’s a heck of an earned moment and I still love it. Other than that, this had some big, hard hitting spots but it was a pretty run of the mill Money In The Bank ladder match, which isn’t the best result when it’s the third of the year.

Post match Miz grabs the mic and rants about how this validates him because he is a future WWE Champion. This is a heck of a promo and you can tell Miz is happy with showing that he is on this level.

We recap Sheamus defending the Raw World Title against John Cena. Sheamus won the title last month in a four way thanks to the Nexus’ interference. Cena wants Sheamus to help him fight the Nexus, which Sheamus FINALLY did (after running away from them, which may have been smarter). Instead they’ll be fighting for the title in a cage to keep things more even. Sheamus beating Cena to win his first World Title, over Cena, has been mentioned a few times as well.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging in a cage. Sheamus wins the battle over a lockup to start and takes Cena into the corner to stomp away. That’s broken up as Cena takes him down to hammer away but charges into an elbow. Sheamus takes him outside the ropes for a face rake against the cage. Back up and Cena tries the shoulders, only to go flying into the cage. Sheamus tries to go up and gets caught in a superplex for his efforts.

The comeback takes too long though and Sheamus hits a DDT for two. The fans are of course behind Cena (they’re good about that) but a running ax handle to the head cuts them off. It works so well that Sheamus does it again and grabs a sleeper. Cena powers up but Sheamus jumps up for a bodyscissors of all things (Striker: “Nice.”) to bring him back down. They get up again and Cena climbs the corner with Sheamus on his back, only for Sheamus to drop down and sweep the leg.

Sheamus’ climb is cut off with a crash onto the ropes and they’re both down again. Now the running shoulders work a bit better for Cena and they go up top again. Sheamus is sent crashing down…but Cena would rather try, and miss, a super Five Knuckle Shuffle than climb out. We switch things up a bit as Cena is tied up in the ropes and Sheamus climbs over to him. Naturally Cena escapes and makes the save, with a super bulldog getting two. Back up and Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse and they’re both down again.

The Brogue Kick knocks Cena silly but Sheamus makes the brilliant move of climbing then stopping to pick Cena back up. The quick AA gives Cena two and here they come. Cue the Nexus with some bolt cutters to open the cage…but the referee manages to take them away. Another referee pulls the key out of his pocket and throws it into the crowd.

As this is going on, the referee inside gets bumped, meaning Cena’s STF makes Sheamus tap to no one. For reasons of “good guys in wrestling are stupid”, Cena lets go and climbs over the top, where Nexus is waiting on him. That’s enough interference for Sheamus to climb out and retain at 23:01.

Rating: C. This was pretty slow and the problem of Nexus is you’re just sitting there waiting around for them to show up. That doesn’t make for the best match and Sheamus was far from the better star that he would become. It’s not a bad match, but that was a long wait for Nexus to FINALLY get there.

Post match Sheamus sprints into the crowd and runs off. Cena is livid and beats up Michael Tarver before promising to take out every member of the Nexus before storming off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you’ve been around long enough, you know how Money In The Bank shows work. You have two matches getting most of the focus and ring time, with maybe one other match feeling important. The cage match was big enough while Mysterio vs. Swagger was just…nothing. I liked the ladder matches and Kane cashing in was cool, but the ending felt more like a way to set up something for later. Good enough show, but it needed more than just the ladder matches.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXXIX Night Two
Date: April 2, 2023
Location: SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves
Attendance: 67,553
America The Beautiful: Jimmie Allen

After a rather long intermission, we’re ready to wrap up the show and this night has a lot to live up to. The first night was outstanding and now we have the real main event, as Roman Reigns defends the WWE Universal Title against Cody Rhodes. In addition, Gunther defends the Intercontinental Title against Sheamus and Drew McIntyre and we have a Cell match as a bonus. Let’s get to it.

Jimmie Allen sings America The Beautiful.

Kevin Hart gives us the cold open again, this time talking about how the sequel has to be bigger and better. Points for not just redoing the same video from the night before and keeping up with the theme.

Miz and Snoop Dogg welcome us to the show with a quick recap and preview. Snoop is ready to get us going.

Brock Lesnar vs. Omos

The story here is that Lesnar can’t overpower Omos (with MVP). Seriously that’s about it. Lesnar can’t double leg him to start and gets tossed around. Running shoulders don’t do much for Lesnar so Omos hits a headbutt and grabs a slam. Omos throws him around again and hits some forearms to the back. We hit the bearhug, followed by another slam, and another bearhug to keep Lesnar in trouble. Lesnar fights out and is quickly chokeslammed for a near fall. Back up and Lesnar rolls some German suplexes but his back gives out on the F5 attempt. Then Lesnar hits the F5 for the pin at 4:56.

Rating: C-. Well they definitely did the right thing in keeping this short, as the whole thing was about Lesnar doing his power moves but not doing them all that well because Omos is that big. It’s a very basic story and while Omos got in some impressive stuff, it felt more like a way to get Lesnar on the show more than anything else (which granted that’s more or less what it was). Not a great match but the fans liked the big throws so points for that.

Liv Morgan/Raquel Rodriguez vs. Natalya/Shotzi vs. Chelsea Green/Sonya Deville vs. Ronda Rousey/Shayna Baszler

It’s the women’s match of the showcase tag match from last night. Baszler and Rousey (the bullies) didn’t have to qualify here and were just thrown into the match. Morgan Backstabbers Sonya to start and a one kneed Codebreaker makes it even worse. Natalya comes in for the sling shot belly to back drop. The basement dropkick puts Morgan down again but she hurricanranas her way to freedom.

Rodriguez comes in and gets to throw Natalya around, leaving Natalya to hand it off to Green. A missile dropkick has no effect so Sonya comes back in, allowing Green to grab some hair. Shotzi comes in so Baszler throws her outside, where Rousey is waiting on her. That leaves Baszler to get caught in a triplebomb, meaning Rousey has to get on the apron…but the three on one is broken up by Green and Sonya.

Shotzi dives onto people in the ring and on the floor, but Green stops to tell us to get our cameras ready. Rather than face Rodriguez, Green dives onto a bunch of people at ringside. With no one else left inside, Rodriguez powerbombs Morgan onto the pile for the big crash. Back in and Rodriguez fall away slams Shotzi, setting up the corkscrew Vader Bomb. Sonya comes in for the save though and some double teaming puts Rodriguez on the floor.

Green and Sonya celebrate until Natalya and Shotzi are back in for an assisted double Sliced Bread. A Hart Attack gets two on Sonya with Green making the save. There’s the double Sharpshooter to Sonya and Green until Morgan dives off the top for the save. Morgan takes Shotzi down but Rousey and Baszler (now with one boot and limping) come back in to break it up. Rousey armbars Shotzi for the win at 8:22.

Rating: C+. I don’t know if Baszler’s injury put she and Rousey on the floor for so long but they were almost not around whatsoever for a good chunk of the match. The match was pretty similar to its male counterpart but two of these teams felt thrown together and it hurt a lot. Rousey and Baszler winning should set them up as the monsters of the division and they would win the Tag Team Titles in about a month and a half…after Rodriguez and Morgan won them first. As usual, those things are a mess.

We look at Bobby Lashley winning the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal on Smackdown.

Lashley comes out and shows off the trophy.

Xavier Woods and UpUpDownDown preview the Intercontinental Title match.

We recap Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther for the latter’s Intercontinental Title. Gunther is a monster champion and his fellow Europeans want to hit him really hard and win the title. Sheamus and McIntyre are friends but both want the title, meaning they’re willing to fight each other. This falls into the “do we need to draw you a picture here” category. It also falls into the “we saw this video (or something really similar to it) last night” category.

Intercontinental Title: Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending and Titus O’Neil is on commentary. Sheamus and McIntyre waste no time in knocking the champ to the floor before starting to lay into each other. Sheamus hits a clothesline and takes McIntyre into the corner for some uppercuts. McIntyre is sent to the apron for the forearms but Gunther is back up with chops for both of them. Gunther sends McIntyre into the post for a crash out to the floor, followed by a big boot to Sheamus’ face.

The Boston crab has Sheamus in more trouble until McIntyre comes in to break it up. McIntyre and Gunther chop it out (and they’re loud chops too) but Sheamus is back in with the uppercuts all around. With Gunther getting back up, Sheamus ties him in the ropes for the forearms to the chest, mixed in with chops from McIntyre. That leaves Gunther down so Sheamus ties McIntyre up in the ropes for almost thirty forearms to the chest.

Gunther is back in to break up the Celtic Cross though and a German suplex drops Sheamus again. The big clothesline gives Gunther two but McIntyre is back up to suplex Sheamus into Sheamus in the corner. There’s a Futureshock to Gunther but the Claymore misses. Gunther powerbombs McIntyre down and goes up but Sheamus is right there with a super White Noise. The Celtic Cross sets up the Cloverleaf so Gunther makes the rope, which means nothing because it’s No DQ.

Sheamus lets go and puts the hold back on anyway, only to have McIntyre come in for the break. That doesn’t go well either as Sheamus knees both of them down but McIntyre cuts off the Brogue Kick. McIntyre headbutts him out to the floor and busts out the big flip dive, leaving everyone down on the floor. Cole to O’Neil: “You never did that!” O’Neil: “AND I NEVER WILL!”

Back in and Sheamus Brogue Kicks McIntyre for two, followed by the Claymore to give McIntyre two of his own. Sheamus drops McIntyre again and covers but Gunther dives in with a top rope splash. Gunther’s powerbomb to Sheamus onto McIntyre leaves them both down, followed by another powerbomb to pin McIntyre and retain at 16:35.

Rating: A. It’s rare that I’ll watch a match back on its own but I’ve seen this one more than a few times now as it’s that kind of brutal. These guys beat the fire out of each other and that is exactly how it was advertised. They didn’t stop and for once it felt like three people having a match. There were stretches where it was two in and one out, but it was a brutal and hard hitting enough match to make up for it. Excellent stuff here, as you probably should have expected.

WWE did charity work this week.

We recap Asuka vs. Bianca Belair for the latter’s Raw Women’s Title. Belair won the title last year at Wrestlemania and has become a huge star during her reign. Then Asuka showed up as an evil clown and Belair is all scared, at least somewhat due to Asuka spraying her with the mist over and over. It’s a simple story but it didn’t exactly work and this never felt like a big feud.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Asuka

Asuka is challenging and comes out with a team of masked Asukas, while Belair counters with an all girl kids dance troupe. Eh point to the champ. Belair kicks her down at the bell and hits a dropkick into the corner, setting up the right hands. That’s broken up and Asuka kicks her down, setting up the big missed kick to the head. Asuka puts her on top but Belair flips over her and hits a spinebuster for a fast two.

Something close to a triangle choke has Belair in trouble before Asuka switches to the Asuka Lock. It’s not on quite full though and Belair rolls outside, where she PLANTS Asuka with a sitout powerbomb. Back in and Belair misses a charge into the post, allowing Asuka to pull her into a heel hook. Belair powers out but Asuka grabs an ankle lock, which is rolled away for the break. Asuka is right back up with a missile dropkick for two and things slow down a bit.

They go to the apron where Asuka hits a hard dropkick into the post. Belair sends her into the post to even things up a bit, setting up a deadlift superplex to bring them back inside. Asuka’s kick to the face gets two but a Codebreaker is blocked. A running Blockbuster into a handspring moonsault gives Belair two and frustration is setting in. They go to the corner with Asuka slipping out of a fireman’s carry and hitting a Codebreaker for two of her own. Back up and the mist misses but Asuka slips out of the KOD. The cross armbreaker doesn’t quite work for Asuka though and Belair powers up for the

Rating: B-. This was good but it never hit that next level, save for maybe the final sequence. The story just wasn’t that compelling coming in and it didn’t really feel like a major showdown. Belair retaining the title over a top level challenge is good though as beating Asuka is still an impressive feat.

We look at Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens beating the Usos for the Tag Team Titles in Night One’s main event.

Here are Miz and Snoop Dogg to announce tonight’s attendance of 81,395, giving us a two day total of 161,892. That’s great, but Miz isn’t happy with Snoop for putting him into an impromptu match last night. Dogg: “So you want to do it again?” Of course not, because Miz doesn’t like being humiliated in his town. Snoop says this is the people’s city and introduces….Shane McMahon, because SHANE MUST BE A THING. Shane thanks the fans and sounds like he can barely breathe after his entrance. Time for a match

Shane McMahon vs. Miz

Shane punches him in the corner and yeah they’re as bad as before. Then he drops down, leapfrogs over Miz and….tears his quad on the landing less than thirty seconds in. That brings Snoop in to hit Miz in the face and apparently we have a replacement. Snoop knocks him down again and drops a People’s Elbow for the pin at 2:11. This seems to have been completely impromptu with either the referee telling Snoop to get in there or Snoop coming up with the idea on his own. Either way, major points to Snoop who had no idea what he was doing and gave the fans a very fun moment out of nowhere.

We recap Edge vs. the Demon Finn Balor inside the Cell. Balor threw Edge out of the Judgment Day the night he joined, setting off a feud between the two of them. This led to Judgment Day attacking both Edge and his wife Beth Phoenix, meaning it’s time for the big, violent fight.

The Cell is lowered and we get a voiceover (from Russell Crowe of all people, as part of a movie tie-in) talking about how evil it is as well.

Edge vs. Finn Balor

Inside the Cell and this is Brood Edge (and yes, his Titantron literally says BROOD EDGE), who comes out of the Brood ring of fire with a shiny mask that makes him look like the Terminator while wearing wings, against the Demon. They waste no time in getting the weapons, with Edge grabbing a red chair and Balor grabbing a purple kendo stick (because not only do you need weapons in the Cell, but you need COLOR COORDINATED weapons).

Balor gets the better of things and knocks him to the floor, only to get hammered back inside. Edge knocks him off the apron and grabs a bunch of kendo sticks (two purple, one red), some of which he uses to pin Balor into the corner of the Cell. A dropkick off the apron hits Balor to make it worse, meaning it’s time to set up the table. Balor uses the delay to get out and sends Edge hard into the steps. They get back inside where Edge hits a quick Impaler but the spear is countered with a Sling Blade.

They go outside with Balor being dropkicked through a table, only to come back in with an Unprettier. The Edge-O-Matic gets two more and it’s time to grab a ladder. Edge throws said ladder at Balor’s face and Balor is busted open BAD, meaning we pause for the medic to come inside to check on him (this led to a hilarious reaction from Mick Foley, because apparently YOU CAN PAUSE A CELL MATCH DUE TO AN INJURY).

Edge uses the delay to get a bunch of weapons ready but Balor is back up with 1916. The spear only hits ladder and Balor hits another Slind Blade. Coup de Grace connects for two and Balor climbs the ladder, only to get countered into a super Edgecution for a slightly delayed two.

That takes too long again and Balor is back up with his own weapons shots, including a bunch of chair shots to Edge. Balor climbs up but instead climbs the cage and gets onto the camera platform. This adds a full nine inched above the top rope but the Coup De Grace only hits table. Edge’s spear gets two so he unloads with chair shots to the back. The Conchairto finishes Balor at 18:10.

Rating: B-. This was the modern Cell match and that is not a good thing for the most part. The bell rang and they went straight for the weapons, which didn’t exactly make the Cell itself feel important. It was a violent and hard hitting match but other than one or two spots, I’m not sure how much the Cell was needed. Either use the Cell or don’t, because this was a street fight with the cage blocking the camera view.

We look at the Wrestlemania trailers.

Backlash is coming to Puerto Rico. You should too!

We look at the Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.

Here is the class in the stadium:

Stacy Keibler (who has not aged a day)
Andy Kaufman (represented by his family)
Great Muta (that’s a nice addition)
Tim White (Warrior Award, and his brother looks identical to him)
Rey Mysterio (that’s about as perfect of a choice for an active headliner as you could pick)

Mysterio shakes the other inductees’ hands (bowing to Muta).

We look at Set Rollins’ entrance from last night. Feel free to get on with the show at any time.

We recap Roman Reigns defending the WWE Universal Title against Cody Rhodes. The big idea here is Rhodes wants to finish his story, meaning winning the title in his dad’s honor while also completing his long rise to the top of WWE. Reigns has been champion for two and a half years and isn’t going away that fast, so it’s time for the big showdown. It feels like a main event and Cody is almost the last man standing to fight Reigns.

Smackdown World Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending and has Paul Heyman/Solo Sikoa with him. Rhodes gets his big entrance and goes over to say hi to his family, including giving his weightlifting belt to an unmasked Negative One (the son of the late Brody Lee, who makes occasional AEW appearances). Reigns gets a special entrance of his own, with a team of pianists playing the start of his entrance live. We get an ACKNOWLEDGE ME from Reigns before the bell finally rings.

Rhodes hammerlocks him over to the ropes to start and Reigns isn’t impressed. A headlock takeover and a right hand has Reigns a bit more annoyed so he bails out to the floor. Heyman’s advice is that Reigns isn’t here for Rhodes because Rhodes is here for him. Heyman: “NOW SMASH HIM!” Back in and Reigns elbows him in the face, meaning it’s time to raise up a finger. Rhodes manages a dropkick (Reigns is stunned again) for two, with commentary saying that cover wasn’t about getting a pin but rather sending a message to Reigns. What that message is isn’t clear but I’d guess “Eat At Joe’s”.

The Disaster Kick is pulled out of the air though and Reigns hits a powerbomb for two. Some suplexes have Rhodes in more trouble but he’s back up to send Reigns out to the floor. That goes badly for him as well as Reigns drops him face first onto the apron. A hard slam puts Rhodes down onto the ramp but Rhodes gets in one of his own. Rhodes sends him back inside but Sikoa gets in a chair shot to the ribs, allowing Reigns to come back with the apron boot.

The cravate slows Rhodes down back inside until he fights up, only to have Sikoa interfere again. This time it lets Reigns hit a hard clothesline before whipping Rhodes into the corner to stay on his bad ribs. They go back outside with Reigns loading up the announcers’ table but getting backdropped through the other one for the big hope spot. Back in and Rhodes hits the drop down uppercut into the snap powerslam.

There’s the Cody Cutter for a big near fall so Reigns rolls outside, meaning it’s a suicide dive to hit him again. They try to get back in but Sikoa gets in a weightlifting belt shot….which the referee hears for an ejection. The distraction lets Rhodes hit Cross Rhodes for two (with Heyman looking on in fear for a nice visual). Reigns is back with some shots to the head and a release Rock Bottom gets two.

The Superman Punch is countered into a Pedigree (Heyman even reaches through the ropes this time) for two and it’s time to start the comeback. Said comeback is cut off with a Superman Punch to knock Rhodes out of the air for two more. The spear is countered into a sunset flip for two and Rhodes whips out a Figure Four for a change of pace. Reigns turns it over (while slapping the mat on the way there), with Rhodes getting over to the ropes for the break.

A big spear connects for two and now Reigns is stunned for a change. With nothing else working, Reigns hits him in the face over and over before grabbing the guillotine choke. Rhodes can’t spinebuster his way to freedom but he can slip his head out and hammer away at Reigns for a change. The referee gets bumped though and a double knockdown gives us quite the breather. Cody is back up for the Cross Rhodes but the Usos run in to break it up. The 1D drops Rhodes but here are Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to take out the Usos.

A Stunner into the Helluva Kick leave Reigns down and the other four brawl out into the crowd. Rhodes gets the big dramatic near fall (and thank goodness that wasn’t the pin as Rhodes winning thanks to Owens and Zayn wouldn’t have worked) and they’re both down again. Back up and the slug it out with both of them being staggered off the shots. The Superman Punch is countered with the Flip Flop And Fly into the Bionic Elbow. Rhodes hits back to back Cross Rhodes….but Sikoa comes in with the Samoan Spike. The spear retains the title at 34:36.

Rating: B+. A year removed from this and my goodness I’m still amazed at the guts it took to not pull the trigger here. This was Cody’s chance to win the whole thing and they kept it on Reigns, which is quite the way to go. They beat the fire out of each other and it had the big match feel, but not pulling the trigger here still feels way off. Heck of a main event, but man they had the fans ready for the moment and just didn’t do it.

Replays and a highlight package wrap us up.

Overall Rating: B. There were some weak parts here and there but the good stuff is more than enough to carry this. Much like Night One, you can’t fault the atmosphere and the look/feel of the show, which made for a heck of a showcase for everyone involved. The main event was very good (ending aside perhaps) and the Intercontinental Title match was great, mixed in with some other strong stuff along the way. I liked this one a lot and the slightly shorter running time helped, but it’s just a few ticks below Night One’s instant classic status.

Overall Overall Rating: A-. Wrestlemania has a complicated history but this was going along with the big, epic show feel and it worked to near perfection. It’s one of the best Wrestlemanias ever and what matters is the show feeling as big as possible. Granted it helped that there was some great action, though that ending is one of those things that is going to stick in a lot of fans’ memories for a very long time. I loved the show overall, and my goodness WWE knows how to make these things work so well.

Ratings Comparison

Brock Lesnar vs. Omos

Original: C+
Redo: C-

Women’s Tag Team Showcase

Original: C
Redo: C+

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus vs. Gunther

Original: A-
Redo: A

Asuka vs. Bianca Belair

Original: B
Redo: B-

Shane McMahon vs. Miz

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Finn Balor

Original: B
Redo: B-

Roman Reigns vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: B+
Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B+
Redo: B

Overall Overall Rating:

Original: A
Redo: A-

At least most of them are in in the ballpark. Either way, excellent show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXXVII Night Two
Date: April 11, 2021
Location: Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 25,675
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Ashland Craft

It’s the second night in front of fans in a rather long time and the first night did well enough. The big draw this time is Roman Reigns defending the Smackdown World Title against Edge and Daniel Bryan in a triple threat match. Other than that, you also Rhea Ripley challenging Asuka for the Raw Women’s Title. Let’s get to it.

Ashland Craft (THE NEW VOICE OF COUNTRY MUSIC) sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video/recap package from last night talks about how long it has taken for WWE to get back here. I believe we switch into the same video from Night One, featuring the battling voiceovers. At least the preview for tonight has different highlights for a change.

Here are the cohosts, Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan, now dressed as pirates to keep up the theme. Pirate jokes abound as they run down the card and since they don’t get over very well, O’Neil talks about Randy Orton vs. the Fiend. Double AARRGHH’s (Hogan clearly has no idea what O’Neil is doing before joining in) wrap this up.

We recap Randy Orton vs. the Fiend. They’ve been feuding with each other since last year, where Orton burned him alive (it’s wrestling, go with it). This resulted in Orton dealing with Fiend’s friend Alexa Bliss (which didn’t exactly work but kept going for a long time), who tried to kill him while bringing back the charred Fiend at Fastlane. Now it’s time for their big showdown.

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

The burned Fiend walks through the entrance and transforms into his regular gear. Sure why not. Then Bliss pops up on the stage…and there is now a big jack in the box at ringside, which Orton doesn’t seem to notice until Bliss gets in front of it (ignore that Orton probably would have had trouble seeing her with the giant box in his field of vision). She turns the crank and Fiend pops out of the top (that’s an awesome boss entrance in a video game) and dives onto Orton with a clothesline.

A release Rock Bottom plants Orton and we get an extreme closeup of the Fiend’s face. Orton gets smart by rolling outside, only to get caught in the Mandible Claw. They get back inside with Orton breaking out, setting up the hanging DDT. Orton sends him head first into, as Cole puts it, “that box like structure”. Ignoring that leaving so many dumb questions (the least of which being WELL WHAT ELSE WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE???), it doesn’t do much damage to Fiend, who is back with a hard clothesline.

Orton sends him outside again, with Fiend popping right back up but getting caught with another hanging DDT. Fiend is right back with the Mandible Claw and loads up Sister Abigail but fire comes up from the posts. Bliss pops up from the box (now in all black and with her hair pulled back) with black goo on her face. Fiend lets go of Orton and reaches for her, setting up the RKO for the pin at 5:51.

Rating: D+. It was a slow paced match that didn’t get a ton of time and, much like their Wrestlemania match four years ago, it just ends with Orton hitting the RKO for the quick win. The problem here continues to be the same thing that always plagued the Fiend: it doesn’t make a ton of sense and we wouldn’t get much of anything in the way of an explanation for what any of it meant. It wasn’t a good wrestling character and it made for a terrible opener.

Post match Bliss looks at Fiend and the lights go out so he can disappear. None of that would matter as this would be Wyatt’s last appearance on WWE TV for a year and a half, as he was released in July and came back late the following year. Pretty terrible opener.

Hulk Hogan and Titus O’Neil (still pirates) meet Eric Bischoff in the back but Bayley interrupts to complain that they ignored her last night. She offers Bischoff a spot on her show but he doesn’t do much with TV these days. Bischoff praises Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks last night and would love to have Belair on his podcast. They’re off to find a boat, though Bayley does get O’Neil’s hat.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax vs. Tamina/Natalya

Tamina/Natalya are challenging after winning Tag Team Turmoil last night. Baszler takes Natalya down to start and smiles a bit. Back up and the threat of a Sharpshooter sends Baszler over to the ropes. Jax (with glitter on her face) comes in to shove Natalya without much ease so let’s go with Tamina instead. They trade headbutts until Tamina can’t pick her up for a slam.

Instead it’s back to Natalya, with Jax hitting both of them in the face. A double backdrop puts Jax down but Baszler comes in off a blind tag, only to get front suplexed onto both of them. Baszler gets German suplexed down and a catapult sends her into Tamina’s superkick for two. That’s enough for Baszler, who knees Natalya in the face as Jax slams Tamina on the floor. Baszler gets to start in on Natalya’s leg with some rather nasty twisting.

Jax stays on the leg and it’s back to Baszler to hit a running knee in the face. A missed charge sends Jax into the post though and Natalya’s discus lariat gets two. That’s shrugged off and Jax hits a heck of a powerbomb, with Tamina having to make a save. Tamina gets the tag and makes the comeback but gets caught by Jax on top. That’s broken up and Tamina gets down, only for Jax to hit a double high crossbody for two in quite the visual.

Jax yells at Tamina about being better, which brings Tamina back up for the slam (no rotation and more like a drop than a slam). Tamina slowly goes up top for the Superfly Splash but misses, mainly because she spent about a minute setting up a splash off a simple slam. Natalya basement dropkicks Jax and tries the Sharpshooter but Baszler got a blind tag. The Sharpshooter goes on anyway but Baszler is back in for the Kirifuda Clutch to finish Natalya at 14:18.

Rating: C-. WAY too long here as you had the champs against the most boring team imaginable for the better part of fifteen minutes. That’s after Natalya and Tamina were in a match the previous night. This was a good example of how useless the titles were at this point and that would be the case for a long time. The match isn’t even that bad, but trying to get fans to care about Natalya and Tamina after this much time was not going to happen.

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens. Zayn has claimed a big conspiracy against him and made a documentary film about the whole thing, which wound up being the ramblings of a madman. He got Logan Paul (not yet a wrestler) to watch it but Paul wasn’t overly convinced. Owens basically said Zayn was nuts so Zayn kicked him in the face and said OPEN YOUR EYES. Now they’re going to fight because it is their nature, with Paul around as well.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

Logan Paul is here too and JBL is on commentary. Yes Owens has a KO Mania (V) shirt and yes it’s still awesome. Owens starts fast and hits a quick powerbomb, with Zayn rolling straight out to the floor. Back in and a running clothesline looks to set up the frog splash but Zayn gets out of the way before it can launch. They go to the apron with Owens fighting out of a half and half suplex, only to get brainbustered onto the apron. Back in and a Michinoku Driver gives Zayn two but he gets knocked off the top.

A brainbuster onto the knee looks to set up the package piledriver but Zayn exploders Owens into the corner. The Helluva Kick and Stunner are both countered so Zayn gets the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Another exploder and a half and half have Owens rocked, followed by another brainbuster for another near fall. For some reason Zayn tries a superkick, which is of course reversed into a swinging superplex. Zayn hits a quick Helluva Kick but tries another and gets superkicked. The Stunner finishes Zayn at 9:16.

Rating: B. They didn’t have the time to reach some epic level but these two could have a bad match in their sleep. There is something very special about seeing Owens and Zayn getting a chance to do this at Wrestlemania though. They’ve gotten this far and it’s amazing to see, with a good match at the same time.

Post match Paul gets in to check on Zayn and then offers Owens a handshake. That’s too far for Paul, who tells Zayn to stop it. Paul shoves the screaming Zayn down before raising Owens’ hand. That is NOT ok with Owens, who gives Paul a Stunner.

Riddle meets the Great Khali and suggests he open a store for giant size people. Rob Van Dam comes up and translates: apparently he’ll need to corner the market. This turns into a plug for Van Dam’s rolling papers. You have Van Dam and Riddle meeting and this is the best you have?

US Title: Riddle vs. Sheamus

Riddle is defending and this started over a scooter, as all great feuds too. This time, Riddle’s sandal flip gives us birds with pirate hats. Riddle knocks him into the corner to start but Sheamus is back with a hard shot of his own. The sleeper doesn’t do much for Riddle as Sheamus drives him into the corner and the Irish Curse gets two. Riddle is knocked to the apron for the forearms to the chest so Sheamus goes up top.

That’s cut off for a change, with Riddle hitting a pretty awesome overhead belly to belly top rope superplex for the big crash. Riddle strikes away and hits the Broton, setting up a Jackhammer (because the Goldberg feud was still a thing) for two. Back up and Sheamus escapes the Bro Derek and sends him to the apron, only to knee Riddle in the face for daring to try a flip of some kind. An Alabama Slam gives Sheamus two but Riddle suplexes him onto the apron, setting up the running flipping dive to the floor.

Back in and the Floating Bro sets up some kind of an armbar, with Sheamus reversing into a powerbomb. Riddle’s sleeper is broken up and Sheamus hammers away before taking him up top. What looks to be a super White Noise…doesn’t work as they fall down a bit (fair) so Sheamus hits a regular version instead. The top rope knee gives Sheamus two but the Brogue Kick misses. Riddle tries a moonsault but gets Brogue Kicked out of the air for the pin and the title at 10:50.

Rating: B. This was about two bruisers beating the fire out of each other with one hard hitting shot after another. As luck would have it, that’s where Sheamus shines and he more than did it again here. Riddle is a goof, but when he’s put in the right spot he could have a heck of a match. Good stuff here, though again it didn’t feel exactly like it belonged on a Wrestlemania.

We recap Big E. defending the Intercontinental Title against Apollo Crews. Big E. won the title back in December but then Crews suddenly realized he was awesome and dropped the steps on Big E. to injure him. Crews also started talking about his heritage of Nigerian royalty and had quite the accent. Now it’s time for a….Nigerian Drum Fight, because 2021 was a weird time in wrestling. It’s also in Big E.’s hometown, which should make for a nice reaction.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging and Wale raps Big E. to the ring. There are a bunch of drums and a big gong at ringside so of course they both grab kendo sticks. Big E. gets the better of things and they go outside, where Crews knocks a gong out of his hand. Back in and Big E. knocks him to the apron for the crazy spear through the ropes. The steps are loaded up at ringside but Crews grabs a Death Valley Driver onto the apron for two instead.

Crews can’t drop the steps onto Big E. and instead charges into a release Rock Bottom from the apron onto said steps for a nasty crash. The table is set up inside but Crews is back up with some kendo stick shots. A frog splash only hits table though and Big En. Hits the Big Ending…but a rather large man in a military uniform (Commander Azeez) comes in for a shot to the neck. Big E. gets chokeslammed to give Crews the pin and the title at 6:51.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness where do I begin? This was a pretty basic weapons match, but the whole match was named after one weapon and they were barely used whatsoever. Instead it was about the monster coming in at the end and making sure that Big E. lost in his hometown. Crews winning is a good thing, but that’s aside from the rather horrible gimmick, which is about as dumb as you can get. The wrestling itself was far from bad, but everything else dragged it down.

Here’s a long recap of Night One.

Wrestlemania XXXVIII is coming to Dallas.

We look at the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2021.

Here’s the class:

Rob Van Dam (perfectly fine)
Molly Holly (can’t get much nicer than her)
Great Khali (…..I guess?)
Ozzy Osbourne (see Khali)
Eric Bischoff (fair enough, though not something you would have believed possible at some point)
Rich Hering (Warrior Award for fifty years in the company)
Kane (I guess the headliner? Either way, rather acceptable)

Kane does the fire on the pirate ship, which looks awesome.

We recap Asuka defending the Raw Women’s Title against Rhea Ripley. Asuka has been champion for a good while but Ripley (with short blonde hair at this point, which still works but not quite what she would become) made her main roster debut (after finishing runner up in the Royal Rumble as part of NXT) and challenged her for Wrestlemania. Game on.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

Ripley is challenging and gets played to the ring. I mean really played to the ring, as the song goes on LONG after Ripley is out there. We get the Big Match Intros and Asuka fires off a dropkick, which only staggers Ripley. A rollup gets two on Ripley but she avoids the running hip attack in the corner. Asuka sends her face first into the buckle though and Ripley goes outside, with Ripley seemingly getting that this is a big difference.

A pop up knee to the face sends Ripley back inside, where another hip attack misses. This time Ripley kicks her down and hits a belly to back faceplant for two. Ripley grabs a bodyscissors and screams at her a lot (with Ripley’s eyes bugging out for a good visual) before slapping Asuka in the back of the head. With the hold broken up, Ripley hits a dropkick and starts mockingly kicking her in the face. Asuka pulls one of the kicks into a kneebar, only to have Ripley muscle her up into a German suplex for two (with what looked like a camera edit on a weird cover).

Some shoulders to the back in the corner have Asuka in more trouble but she manages to knock her off the top. A missile dropkick hits Ripley and Asuka finally has an opening. There’s a German suplex to Ripley for a change and now the hip attack connects for Asuka. A spinning kick to the head and the running hip attack put Ripley down for two and she looked stunned as she sits back up. Asuka goes up again but gets dropkicked right back down, allowing Ripley to electric chair her onto the apron.

That’s shrugged off (somehow) and Asuka DDTs her from the apron to the floor. While that should be a knockout, it’s only good for a nine here. Back in and another kick is countered and Ripley stomps away again. Asuka counters the Prism Trap into a failed cross armbreaker attempt, as Ripley sends her crashing into the corner instead. An apron superplex drops Asuka again but she pulls Ripley into an armbar. That’s broken up so Asuka fires off some hard kicks, only to duck one of them and hit the Riptide out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 13:27.

Rating: B+. I liked this WAY more this time, as it was not only a heck of a fight but they also made Ripley look like a star out of nowhere. Asuka is someone who had been turned into a huge star but Ripley took everything she had and beat her clean. The Women’s Title matches at this Wrestlemania were about making Ripley and Belair feel like huge stars and they made it happen very well. Heck of a match here, with the storytelling and star making performance being more than enough to make it better.

We look back at Randy Orton vs. the Fiend to keep this show going even longer.

Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan (in regular clothes) are back to thank everyone who is watching the show…but here is Bayley to interrupt. She’s not happy with them not thanking her and insists on her own pyro. After her required yelling at Michael Cole, here are the Bellas to yell at and then beat up Bayley. Hogan and O’Neil even dance with the Bellas. Well O’Neil does, while Hogan tries in a less than successful effort.

Wrestlemania Backlash is in five weeks. Thank goodness that didn’t last long.

We recap the main event. Edge returned and won the Royal Rumble to get the shot. He talked about how he never lost the title back in 2011 (true) and has gone through a lot to get back here. Therefore he chose Roman Reigns but Daniel Bryan had a title shot at Fastlane, saying he wanted it to be like Wrestlemania XXX all over again. Bryan made Reigns tap but the referee didn’t see it, allowing Edge to cost Bryan the shot so he got his match. As a result, it’s a triple threat match for the title.

Reigns wasn’t happy and promised to crush both of them because he beat Bryan up and took the title from Edge (kind of). This was only about eight months into Reigns’ reign so he’s still fine tuning some of his Head Of The Table stuff. He’s still a dominant champion, but he’s in a lot of danger here. It’s a well done story, even if it feels A LOT like Chris Benoit/HHH/Shawn Michaels in 2004.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Edge

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and Jey Uso, is defending (and we get a rather detailed camera shot of them, which makes them look like they’re in a video game). After the Big Match Intros, Reigns jumps them to start fast and they go outside. Uso gets in a superkick to both challengers but Edge whips Reigns into the barricade and apron over and over for quite the positive reaction.

An Edgecution drops Uso onto the steps, which should get rid of him for a good while. Indeed as here are some referees to get rid of Uso, leaving Edge and Bryan to get inside for a staredown. Bryan sends him into the corner for hard kicks but the Edge-O-Matic gives Edge two. Reigns is back up but gets knocked off the apron, allowing Bryan to hit a missile dropkick on Edge. Bryan is sent outside though and Reigns snaps off a belly to belly to send him flying.

Back in and Edge reveres a Superman Punch into an Edgecution. They both try spears and collide for a double down, so here is Bryan with a Swan Dive each. Bryan covers Reigns for two and then fires off the kicks to both of them. The running knee hits Edge and the big swinging kick to the head puts Reigns down for two more. Some hard stomps set up the YES Lock on Reigns until Edge makes the save.

The same hold has Edge in trouble until Reigns makes a save of his own. Reigns unloads on Bryan with the big forearms and takes him outside. The steps are loaded up and there’s a powerbomb to put Bryan through the announcers’ table (no wonder he went to AEW). Reigns poses on the steps but gets speared down by Edge (I wonder why he went to AEW). With Bryan mostly dead and Reigns back inside, Edge grabs a pair of chairs but Reigns steps on one of them on the way back in.

The bar is broken off the bottom of the chair and Edge grabs a crossface, complete with the bar in Reigns’ mouth (Reigns’ eyes look like he found a mouse in his mouth in a 90s comedy). The tap is about to happen but Bryan is back in with a YES Lock to Reigns’ other arm. Reigns seems to tap but Bryan and Edge headbutt each other until both holds are broken.

Bryan asks Edge if he has a bad neck and then stomps him down. The running knee is loaded up but Edge hits a spear, followed by another to Reigns…so Bryan pulls the referee. The livid Edge grabs more chairs, one of which he uses on Bryan’s back. Bryan is tossed back in, where Edge unloads on both of them with the chair. Bryan gets Conahritoed but here is Uso to save Reigns from the same thing. Edge chairs Uso down but Reigns is up with a spear. Reigns Conchairtos Edge and stacks them up for the double pin to retain at 22:42.

Rating: B+. This wound up being a lot better than I was expecting, as it felt like the title was in danger more than once. Edge winning was absolutely in the cards and as a result, Bryan felt like he could steal the thing as well. They had a heck of a violent match here and it felt like it belonged on Wrestlemania, which didn’t feel like it would be the case coming in. This overdelivered and I got way into it watching it back.

Reigns poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They were just a few improvements away from a great show here, as the two main events more than delivered and it felt like a Wrestlemania by the end. At the same time, there were some VERY weak parts (opener, Women’s Tag Team Titles, Drum Fight) that dragged it back down. There’s more bad than good, though the bad parts keep it from being a great show and leave it more in the decent range.

Overall Overall Rating: B-. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that this isn’t the most well remembered Wrestlemania. The world was still kind of all over the place and even WWE wouldn’t have fans back on the regular until the summer. That being said, it’s a completely watchable show, though skipping pretty much all of the Women’s Tag Team Title stuff would be advised. It’s a good example of a show that is outstanding if you cut out a bunch of stuff and make it one night, but as it is, it’s still ok enough.

The important thing, especially coming off of last year, was to have it feel like Wrestlemania again and they made that happen. You had the fans in the stadium and a big card, which did have the atmosphere that you want with a Wrestlemania. There have been better shows, but this had a specific goal to accomplish and they made that work, which is a great accomplishment.

 

Ratings Comparison

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

Original: D
2022 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax vs. Tamina/Natalya

Original: D
2022 Redo: F
2025 Redo: C-

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B-
2022 Redo: B-
2026 Redo: B

Riddle vs. Sheamus

Original: B-
2022 Redo: C+
2026 Redo: B

Apollo Crews vs. Big E.

Original: C+
2022 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: D

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Original: B-
2022 Redo: C+
2026 Redo: B+

Edge vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Original: A-
2022 Redo: A-
2026 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2022 Redo: C-
2026 Redo: B-

Overall Overall Rating

Original: B
2022 Redo: C+
2026 Redo: B-

GEEZ was I just in a really bad mood when I watched this last time or something? I know I’m a lot higher on Ripley than I was before but the Women’s Tag Team Title match wasn’t that bad.

 

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Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews
America The Beautiful: Keri Hilson
Host: The Rock

So the big story here is the return of the Rock, who is back for the first time in a good many years and serving as the show’s host. That is already bleeding into the main event, which features John Cena challenging the Miz for the Raw World Title. Other than that, we have the worst Wrestlemania match of all time so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging in a lumberjack match and I think you know where this is going. Also, this wasn’t your traditional pre-show match, but rather a DVD extra. Sheamus starts fast and knocks him into the corner but Bryan gets in the moonsault into the running clothesline. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and Sheamus is sent outside, with Mark Henry throwing him back inside.

Back in and Sheamus hits a hard clothesline before knocking Bryan outside. Bryan is sent back inside and we hit a crossface chickenwing of all things. The comeback is cut off with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two but Bryan slips out of the High Cross. Sheamus is low bridged to the floor and the lumberjacks have to be dispatched. The big brawl is on and the referee throws it out at 4:19.

Rating: C+. This was pretty clearly designed to set up the pretty obvious Wrestlemania battle royal, which is something that happens almost every year. At the same time, that doesn’t exactly make the people in the match feel overly important, which isn’t a great way to go. I like that the title is involved in some way, but dang this wasn’t the best use of the US Title.

Post match the brawl is on and here is Teddy Long to…well dance a bit, and then make the battle royal

Battle Royal

Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Yoshi Tatsu, Evan Bourne, Ted DiBiase, Drew McIntyre, William Regal, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, R-Truth, Zack Ryder, Chavo Guerrero, Jey Uso, Great Khali, Jimmy Uso, David Hart Smith, JTG, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, Johnny Curtis, Chris Masters, Mark Henry, Primo

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t even in the ring to start and Khali throws out Reks and Hawkins in a hurry. Tatsu is out and things slow down a bit as the brawling on the ropes ensues. Khali chops Masters down in the middle of the ring and R-Truth is low bridged out. Henry gets rid of the Usos so a bunch of people get together to toss him. Khali tosses Primo and Ryder is out after him. McIntyre and Guerrero go to the apron with McIntyre eliminating him and Hart Smith being chopped out after him.

JTG gets the same treatment and Sheamus kicks Khali down, which doesn’t seem that smart. Bryan eliminates Kidd and McIntyre does the same to Beretta. Curtis is gone as well and for some reason Masters grabs the Masterlock on the apron. Naturally he’s knocked out and it’s Bourne hitting Air Bourne on McIntyre. Regal unloads on DiBiase but misses a charge and gets eliminated. McIntyre kicks DiBiase out and gets thrown out by Bryan. That leaves Bryan, Sheamus and Khali, with the non-Khali guys going to the apron. Sheamus knocks Bryan out and goes after Khali, who clotheslines him out for the win at 8:28.

Rating: D+. As you can guess, this is the “get everyone on the show” match and that’s not a bad thing. Unfortunately it was a mostly bad match, with the string of people being eliminated that almost always happens in these things. Khali winning is fine, but the US Title being used to set up this less than important match isn’t a great sign of where the title was at this point.

Keri Hilson sings America The Beautiful.

Here’s the Rock to get things going, naturally with a big over the top introduction. This is a pretty big deal as he hasn’t really don anything important in WWE since around 2004. Rock hits his catchphrases and says we’re making history with all kinds of things tonight. He has the fans say MANIA when he says WRESTLE and then mocks John Cena with the Fruity Pebbles stuff.

Then he pauses for a bit and has some of the people’s water as this is not exactly going well. He has the fans get involved with a YABBA DABBA chant then hits some rhymes about how big this show is going to be. It’s bigger than Christmas, though there’s no offense to Santa. The big catchphrase wraps everything up after….pretty much nothing.

The opening video mostly looks at the history of Wrestlemania and hypes up the Rock’s return, plus the biggest matches.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is challenging (after winning the Royal Rumble) and has Ricardo Rodriguez doing his custom entrance, as usual, plus bodyguard Brodus Clay. Edge has Christian with him to even things out a bit so there are quite a few people here. There is also a giant cube that comes down over the ring and plays Edge’s logo (plus I’m assuming others later throughout the night, otherwise it’s kind of odd).

They lock up into the corner to start before Del Rio starts in on the (previously injured) arm. A backdrop sends Del Rio outside for the big crash but he sends Edge arm first into the barricade. Back in and we hit the armbar before Del Rio bends the arm around the rope. Another armbar is broken up and Del Rio misses a charge, sending him crashing out to the floor. Del Rio is fine enough to grab a super armdrag for two, followed by some basic right hands to the head.

Edge manages a spinwheel kick to leave them both down until Edge is able to grab the flapjack. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Del Rio manages to get the cross armbreaker. Edge is right into the ropes and goes up, where it’s a jumping enziguri to bring him down for two. Clay and Cage get into it on the floor, with Edge grabbing a rollup for two of his own. The spear doesn’t work and Clay sends the bad arm into the post. The cross armbreaker goes on again but Edge switches into the Edgecator as Christian tornado DDTs Clay on the floor. Del Rio goes to the arm for the escape but Edge spears him down to retain at 11:08.

Rating: C+. It’s a fine enough way to go, though Del Rio winning the Royal Rumble and then just losing the title match feels like quite the downgrade. Edge was doing well enough but it felt like a setup for a tag match, which is kind of a weird way to go for the Wrestlemania World Title match. It’s not bad, but felt more like a big Smackdown main event and that’s about all.

Post match Edge and Christian destroy Del Rio’s Rolls Royce. Del Rio cries a lot and the Canadians celebrate as Cole wants them arrested. Then Edge would retire eight days later and vacate the title, because that’s the right way to go rather than putting Del Rio over here.

Cole taunts Lawler before their match later tonight. Oh….can we just not?

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Rhodes is in his Dr. Doom phase here, as Mysterio injured his Dashing face and left him with emotional scars after the facial surgery. This was an outstanding character run for Rhodes and the first time I saw the star power and potential in him. Mysterio’s awesome superhero outfit this year is Captain America, sending Cole into a big rant (as usual around this time). Mysterio strikes away to start and hits a quick top rope hurricanrana.

Rhodes headbutts him down though and puts Mysterio in the ropes for a running headbutt. A running kick to the head sets up the one armed camel clutch but Mysterio is back up with something like a Black Widow. That’s reversed into a Hardcore Holly kick to the rather low stomach, followed by the Alabama Slam for two. Rhodes peels up Mysterio’s tights to expose the knee brace (how Rhodes was injured in the first place) before grabbing a nerve hold.

Mysterio fights up and sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes. Rhodes is sent into the apron, followed by the top rope seated senton back inside. A wheelbarrow suplex drops Mysterio again but he’s right back with a headscissors. The 619 is blocked though and a catapult sends Mysterio throat first into the ropes.

Mysterio is back up with a 619 and pulls Rhodes’ mask off, which he puts on over his own mask. Some running headbutts put Rhodes down and a top rope headbutt gets two. The mask is removed so the referee takes it away, leaving Rhodes to hit Mysterio with his own knee brace (which was taken off somewhere in there). Cross Rhodes finishes Mysterio at 11:58.

Rating: B. These guys worked well together, and I still love the Dr. Doom period for Rhodes. It might not have had the longest legs, but this was the big win that he was needing. This felt like Rhodes getting his revenge and winning one of his biggest matches to date, which I’ll certainly take from both of them. Good stuff here and a nice way to have some hope for Rhodes’ future.

Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella vs. Corre

Kingston is replacing an injured Vladimir Kozlov, who was taken out by the Corre. Marella goes after Slater to start but gets taken down, allowing Show and Kane to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and we get the parade of knockdowns, including a great looking Trouble In Paradise to Barrett. The Cobra and WMD finish Slater at 1:33. Just a “get these people on the show” match.

The Rock meets Eve Torres and lets her feel his arm. Rock talks about the magic of Wrestlemania and offers to create magic with whomever comes around the corner next. It’s Mae Young, who wants the People’s Strudel. Rock makes some jokes about Young being old and Eve escorts her out (with Mae pinching Rock as she leaves). Rock says it couldn’t have been anyone else….and Steve Austin pops in. The fans get quiet as they know this one is important and they seem to show some respect while saying they remember each other at Wrestlemania. Austin coming in was pretty obvious but these two together is always special.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Orton was challenging for the World Title when Punk and his New Nexus interfered to cost him. As it turns out, Punk was mad at Orton for costing him the World Title TWO YEARS EARLIER and was finally getting around to going for revenge. Orton was fine with getting violent and we’re ready to go.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

New Nexus is barred from ringside. Punk goes for Orton’s injured (at Punk’s hands) knee to start but Orton knocks him outside. A dropkick to the steps knocks them into Orton’s knee though and Punk takes over, with a high crossbody getting two back inside. Punk gets cocky and hits a kind of Stunner onto the knee out of the corner, followed by a drop down onto the knee for two.

A top rope double stomp knocks Orton out of the Tree Of Woe for two but the GTS is countered. The RKO is countered as well though as Punk kicks him in the face for two. Punk gets caught up top though and it’s a superplex to bring him back down. Punk is fine enough to wrap the bad knee around the post, followed by the Hartbreaker for a bonus. Back in and Punk ties up the leg again and starts ripping at the bandage, only for Orton to punch him in the face for the break.

Orton starts the comeback but Punk goes right back to the leg and grabs the Anaconda Vice. They finally roll over to the ropes for the break and Punk heads to the apron, where Punk sends him into the post. The hanging DDT drops Punk and Orton gets all angry, only for the leg to give out on the Punt attempt. A desperation RKO attempt is shoved away so Punk tries a springboard…and dives into the RKO (that looked AWESOME) for the pin at 14:45.

Rating: B. This was a perfectly acceptable match with Punk working on the leg for a long time but getting a bit too cocky and walking (or diving) into the RKO. The ending looked outstanding, as Orton’s Wrestlemania RKO’s tend to do, and it came at the end of a good match. Sometimes you need a match between two good hands with some time and that was the situation here. Nice job.

Gene Okerlund is with the Rock and praises him for going well so far. Rock says John Cena’s #1 fan is here and….it’s Peewee Herman. Rock insults him and the payoff is Okerlund in Cena gear. This is as funny as you would expect.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2007:

Abdullah The Butcher (makes sense in Atlanta)
Sunny (yeah about that….)
The Road Warriors (nonsense that they weren’t in already)
Drew Carey (sure why not)
Bob Armstrong (perfectly fine in Georgia)
Jim Duggan (yes his 2×4 has a bowtie)
Shawn Michaels (eh he’s ok)

Oddly no highlight package this year.

We recap Jerry Lawler taking out Jack Swagger and going after Michael Cole, who threw a drink in his face to make Lawler hate him even more.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Let’s get this over with. Booker T. and Jim Ross come out to join commentary, Jack Swagger is with Cole and Steve Austin is guest referee. Cole has been a full on heel for months now and has tormented Lawler for a good while, including costing Lawler the WWE Title. Therefore, it’s time for revenge. Ross comes to the ring but Cole cuts his entrance off to talk about how Ross and Lawler are overrated and over the hill.

Cole says this is his first Wrestlemania match too and after he gets rid of Lawler, Ross will be back to making bad barbecue sauce and Cole will be the new Mr. Wrestlemania. Austin rides out on his ATV and almost runs Swagger down, as only Austin could get away with doing. After the entrances alone take the better part of ever (including Cole hiding in his Cole Mine), we’re FINALLY ready to go. Lawler jumps Swagger to start and sends him into the barricade before going after Cole in the Cole Mine.

Cole immediately begs off and apologizes, with Lawler accepting a handshake. Lawler then pulls the arm through the hole, with Cole’s face getting stuck against the wall in an actually funny moment. Lawler climbs into the box and pounds on Cole before throwing him inside. Swagger gets in a cheap shot and Cole baseball slides Lawler down. The ankle lock has Lawler tapping on the floor, and we begin the meat of the match: Cole badly working on Lawler’s ankle.

Cole tries to stand on the ankle while leaning on the ropes but can only get his toes to reach it. A punt to the ankle is a bit better but Cole can’t get a Vader Bomb to work. Instead he does a bottom rope version for two as JR can’t believe it was a near fall. Cole takes the straps down and puts on the ankle lock but Lawler kicks him away. Lawler stomps him in the corner so Swagger throws in the towel, which Austin doesn’t seem to like.

Austin towels himself off and throws it back before giving Swagger a Stunner. Cole begs Austin for mercy but Lawler punches Cole down and hits the dropkick. The middle rope punch connects but Lawler pulls him up and grabs the ankle lock. Cole taps and Austin makes VERY certain that he’s giving up, slowly asking a few times before FINALLY calling for the bell at a mind numbing 13:48.

Post match beer is consumed, with Booker T. getting in for a Spinarooni and getting Stunned as well. Everyone is happy…..and we get an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager. Since the Raw GM has authority over Wrestlemania, the GM says that Austin overstepped his bounds and Cole wins by DQ. Josh Matthews, who read the email, gets a Stunner of his own. A ticked off Austin rids away on his ATV and Lawler joins JR on commentary.

Rating: -F. Hokey smoke it’s worse than I remember. This is, without a doubt, the worst Wrestlemania match of all time. Where do you even start? Well first of all, the match ran the better part of thirty minutes when you add in the before and after. This should have been “Swagger distracts Lawler, Cole gets in some shots, Lawler Hulks Up, punches, dropkick, piledriver (if Cole would take it) or a flying fist drop, Lawler wins in about four minutes and we celebrate.

Instead, it’s Cole working on the ankle (which is a weird enough thing to do) in a “funny” way for far too long as the joke is run into the ground. That’s in addition to Lawler already tapping on the floor (fair enough as it’s to someone like Swagger, but it didn’t need to be there at all) and making him look like a loser right out of the blocks. The match itself is abysmal, but somehow that’s nowhere close to the biggest problem.

At the end of the day, all of those problems can be weakened a bit with Lawler getting the win in his first Wrestlemania match and wrapping up the Cole arc for good. That wouldn’t be a good way to go, but it would have at least been something position. BUT WAIT! Why do that when we can have Cole not only win, but win again at the next pay per view before Lawler FINALLY got his revenge at the end of May by beating Cole in about three minutes.

But why do that when you can kill the crowd instead? That stupid email sound going off guaranteed that things were about to go from bad to worse and there was no way around it. You could practically see Vince McMahon in an otherwise silent Gorilla Position cackling about how “THAT’S GOOD S*** PAL!” while everyone around him realizes that this was the dumbest thing they could have done. This was the dumbest finish to a Wrestlemania match ever and it’s in the running for worst finish to any match anywhere in history.

We look at Wrestlemania Week. All the charity stuff they do is cool.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. Undertaker beat Shawn Michaels last year and ended his career, so HHH is out for revenge and to end the Streak. That’s about all you need here, plus a Johnny Cash song of course.

Undertaker vs. HHH

No Holds Barred. HHH gets the big entrance behind a wall of shields and has Metallica’s For Whom The Bell Tolls, while Undertaker goes with Johnny Cash’s Ain’t No Grave. The bell rings and HHH pounds him into the corner, only to be thrown over the top for the early crash out to the floor. Undertaker sends him into the steps and then loads up the announcers’ table.

That takes too long so HHH spears him through the Cole Mine and goes back inside, where Undertaker comes back in for the slugout. The jumping clothesline drops HHH but Old School is broken up. They crash out to the floor and Undertaker is whipped into the barricade to bust it (and him) up a bit. HHH loads up the announcers’ table this time but the Pedigree is countered into a backdrop onto the floor. The slow stand up allows Undertaker to hit the big dive and they’re both down for a bit.

Undertaker loads up something onto the steps but gets spinebustered through the other announcers’ table instead. Back in and Undertaker hits a quick chokeslam for two but HHH rams him into the corner. For some reason HHH hammers down right hands and gets caught in the Last Ride. Thankfully he knows what will happen because Undertaker did it to him about ten years ago and slips out.

Another spinebuster gives HHH two and it’s time for the chair. One heck of a chair shots to the back has HHH in trouble, only for him to come back with a sudden Pedigree for two more. For some reason HHH tries to rain down right hands in the corner AGAIN, this time getting caught in the Last Ride for two and leaving Undertaker ticked off in the process. The Tombstone, complete with tongue, gets two and Undertaker grabs the chair.

Another Tombstone onto the chair is broken up and HHH hits a DDT onto the chair to leave them both down. They very slowly pull themselves up and it’s another Pedigree for another near fall. Another Pedigree gets another two and they’re both down again. Back up and HHH hits eight straight chair shots to the back but doesn’t cover, seemingly out of exhaustion. Or dramatic intensity.

Somehow Undertaker gets back up and it’s a chair to the head to knock him back down. That’s only good for a two so HHH hits his own Tombstone for two. This is treated like the biggest kickout ever and…yeah I still don’t buy it. I remember watching this live and actually saying out loud “you’re not Kane, that won’t work” and not being surprised at all by the kickout. With nothing else working, HHH grabs the sledgehammer but gets pulled into Hell’s Gate. The hold stays on for a good while and HHH drops the hammer before wearily tapping out at 29:24.

Rating: B+. Here’s the thing: it might not have the drama of the Michaels matches (it doesn’t) and it might not have the action of the Michaels matches (it doesn’t) but it’s still a heck of a fight. They didn’t bother with the wrestling side of things here and instead just beat the living daylights out of each other.

The problem here though is that despite everything that Undertaker went through, I never really bought the Streak being in jeopardy. It was more “how much is he going to survive” rather than “how much can he survive” and that brings it down a notch. Still though, it’s quite the fight and set up the much better rematch the following year.

Post match HHH is able to get out on his own and Undertaker slowly follows…but falls down on the way out of the ring. A golf cart has to come out and take Undertaker to the back, which is quite the exit for the winner while HHH walks out. Undertaker wouldn’t be back until January to set up the rematch.

John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Vickie Guerrero is here with the villains. While it isn’t mentioned anywhere here, this is the result of Snooki gust appearing on Raw and arguing with Guerrero, who helped Laycool beat Stratus that night. Snooki helped Stratus fight and the men were added shortly thereafter, setting this up.

It’s a brawl before the bell with Ziggler and Morrison having to break it up, with Ziggler earning a slap from Snooki. Stratus chops at McCool to start but she’s right back with a knockdown. The Faithbreaker is countered into a faceplant and Stratus slugs away some more. The Stratusphere is blocked and they crash to the floor, where Stratus has to cut off an invading Layla.

Stratus hits a Chick Kick on McCool and Morrison knocks Ziggler outside, setting up the Starship Pain to the floor. Snooki comes in for a handspring elbow and cartwheels over for a falling splash and the pin on McCool at 3:17. Snooki might have been in the ring for thirty seconds, which I believe is about thirty seconds more than Layla was legal.

Rating: D+. This was designed to have Snooki and WWE appear on various Hollywood shows and TMZ. That’s all it was going to be and while Snooki seemed to be putting in the effort, it wasn’t exactly much to see. Then again they were only out there for a few minutes so it couldn’t get that bad. Just not something that held much interest outside of the celebrity involvement, which is acceptable enough.

Tonight’s entertainment record for the building: 71,617. This is about 9,000 lower than a college football game, which isn’t entertainment and WWE isn’t a sport, at least for the sake of their record this time around.

We recap the Raw World Title match, which is one of the better videos WWE has ever done. Miz is standing with his back to the camera watching a bunch of monitors, showing videos jumping between clips of classic main eventers and Miz’s slow rise up WWE. Eventually he won the World Title (hi Miz Girl) and we see his face, with the song kicking in to say that he can’t stop now and you can keep hating him.

Miz talks about how you can hate him for what he is, which he’d rather be over something he isn’t. Like him or not, he’s the face of the WWE and he’s not stopping. Here’s the thing: no, Miz isn’t an all time star in the ring. No, he isn’t the best heel ever. No, he doesn’t feel like he belongs in the main event of Wrestlemania. The problem with that? He made it here, after starting with the wrestling equivalent of American Idol.

Miz put in the work and got SO MUCH FURTHER than anyone would have ever believed possible. That deserves all kinds of praise and while he’s a third wheel here, he’s defending the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania. Not bad for a guy who wasn’t a wrestler or whatever the insults are about him this week.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

Miz, with Alex Riley, is defending and Cena got his shot by winning the Elimination Chamber. As a bonus, Miz and Riley walk through a series of balloons that spell out AWESOME and you can tell Miz is fired up. Cena’s Wrestlemania entrance is being sung out by a gospel choir, complete with a prayer over clips of Cena growing up and eventually becoming the huge star.

After the Big Match Intros, Cena shoves him down and grabs a hiptoss before we calm down a bit. Miz is able to knock him into the corner and stomp away, followed by the running corner clothesline. Cena grabs a gutwrench suplex and the top rope Fameasser for two each, only to miss a charge into the corner. Miz kicks him down for two and avoids the flying shoulder to send Cena outside.

Back in and Cena fires off the shoulders, which actually connect this time, followed by the Shuffle. It’s too early for the AA though and Miz’s short DDT gets two. A turnbuckle pad is pulled off so the referee replaces it, meaning a Cena small package doesn’t get a count. The pad is still not on but Cena blocks a ram into the buckle and grabs the STF. Miz makes the rope so Riley sends Cena into the buckle, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale for two.

The referee gets bumped, just before Cena hits the AA, meaning there’s still no count. Riley comes in with a briefcase (he has a briefcase) shot to give Miz two so Miz grabs the briefcase, only to hit Riley by mistake. They go outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade. That’s not enough as Cena tackles Miz over another barricade, with Miz’s head bouncing off the concrete (yes he had a concussion and no he doesn’t remember anything about the match). They’re both down and it’s a double countout at 14:40.

The fans are not pleased but here is the Rock…who is cut off by an email from the Raw General Manager. JR and Lawler both offer to read the email but Rock has them sit down. Rock reads the email, which starts with “I think” but Rock doesn’t seem to care. As the host of this show, Rock is restarting this match, No DQ (Lawler should be ticked off as Rock didn’t get involved earlier but we can just add that to the dumb things about that mess). The bell rings, Cena throws Miz back inside, Rock gives Cena a Rock Bottom, Miz retains at 19:40 total.

Rating: D-. And no. They were trying with some of the shenanigans to get Miz in there, but it was a stupid finish, despite the legitimate concussion. Have Miz get disqualified for cheating or something, but come up with something a bit better than this. The ending didn’t help either, as having Rock just come out and restart the match came out of nowhere, though I guess it’s better than the GM overturning a match. Miz was trying but the chemistry wasn’t there and the ending was awful, so there was only so much they could do, which didn’t wind up working.

Post match Miz is clearly somewhere over Pluto but Rock goes in to beat him up anyway. The spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow and Rock celebrates to end the show. Cena wouldn’t be happy and the next night, Rock vs. Cena would be set up for a year later, which they actually stuck to, much to my shock, and yeah the build was incredible, despite a not so great start.

The long highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C-. There are parts of this show that work, with Mysterio vs. Rhodes, Punk vs. Orton and of course the HHH vs. Undertaker match, but that’s not enough to overcome the gaping holes that are the main event and Lawler vs. Cole. Rock didn’t do much here, save for the stuff at the end and that’s not exactly enough. The show isn’t the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it has two really big problems and those are enough to bring it down. Just watch some selected matches here and move on, because it’s not a great Wrestlemania.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: C+

Battle Royal

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2026 Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: B

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Red: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2026 Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: D
2026 Redo: -F

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B+

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2026 Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: D-
2026 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2026 Redo: C-

Yeah pretty much the same as last time, which is a rarity.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
America The Beautiful: Fantasia

So last year at Wrestlemania XXV, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker had one of the best matches ever. That means it’s time for a rematch, with Michaels career on the line. That is more than big enough for a special match, to the point where it makes John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title feel that less important. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Prime is out within seconds, followed by Beretta and Croft at the same time. Henry launches Chavo out but then gets tossed by Khali. A bunch of people get together to toss Khali before Cryme Tyme gets rid of Gallows. Then Shad tosses JTG because that’s how battle royals work. Regal and Finlay slug it out for old times’ sake before everyone breaks off for fights of their own.

Masters keeps putting people in the Masterlock and is eliminated for not being that bright. Kozlov eliminates Kidd and Hart-Smith before being tossed out as well. Funaki, Goldust, Regal and Shad are out in a row, with Reks following them. Santino starts using the Cobra and thankfully is tossed out by Finlay.

Archer gets rid of Yang and is quickly dropkicked out by Tatsu (Striker continues to try and get “The Poison Fist Of The Pacific Rim” over as a nickname for Tatsu. This is because Striker is really annoying.). Knox gets to clean house for a bit but cue Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to get in a shillelagh shot. The Tadpole Splash hits Knox and Finlay tosses Carlito. Ryder eliminates Finlay and Knox at the same time, leaving Tatsu to kick Ryder out at 8:43.

Rating: C. It’s a battle royal to get a bunch of people on the show. They didn’t waste time here and it gave the fans something to see during the pre-show, which is about all you can ask for here. Tatsu was someone who seemed like he was ready to move forward more than once but it just never came together. It’s not like this was some big win but he was as good of a winner as you could have had.

Fantasia sings America The Beautiful. Not well but she does sing it.

The opening video talks about what it means to be at Wrestlemania and how important it is to be here. This is the big chance and the stars will seize it.

The set has something of an ancient pyramid theme with another over the ring, both of which look cool. If nothing else, I’ve always liked I Made It.

Tag Team Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

ShoMiz is defending and there isn’t much of a story here, save for Truth and Morrison winning a triple threat match to get the title shot. Miz and Morrison start things off with Morrison getting the better of things. Truth comes in with a top rope legdrop for two into a WHAT’S UP. It’s off to Show, who sends Truth flying with a fall away slam. What looks to be a Vader Bomb is broken up via a Morrison kick to the head, followed by Morrison’s knee to Miz’s head. Show breaks up Starship Pain though, leaving Truth’s dive to Show to fail miserably. Back in and Show KO Punches Morrison for the pin to retain at 3:25.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it really would have been better off as a pre-show match. They didn’t even get four minutes and there is only so much you can do with the amount of time you might get on a regular TV show. ShoMiz was a fairly forgettable team and while it was nice to have the titles on the card, it’s not like this was anything remotely memorable.

Video on Wrestlemania Week, which always looks cool.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Legacy implodes as Orton has had it with the two of them screwing up and turned on them, setting up this for some revenge. DiBiase and Rhodes go after him to start and it doesn’t go well early on. Orton gets smart by dividing and conquering but walks into a dropkick from DiBiase. The double teaming is on with both of them taking turns to punch Orton while the other holds him back. There’s a double suplex to put Orton down but he fights out of the corner (the fans approve).

The comeback doesn’t last long though as DiBiase hits a clothesline, setting up a High/Low to put Orton down again. Rhodes snaps off an Alabama Slam for two and the save from DiBiase means it’s time for the young hooligans to fight. Orton fights up and sends DiBiase to the floor, followed by a snap powerslam back inside. There’s the backbreaker to Rhodes but DiBiase pulls Orton outside. Rhodes’ dive only hits DiBiase so Orton hits the double hanging DDT. With DiBiase down on the floor, Orton Punts Rhodes and then RKO’s an invading DiBiase for the pin at 9:02.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of drama here once DiBiase and Rhodes got in their offense. Orton looked like he was toying with them at the end, which was part of the reason why he was turning into a popular star all over again. This was about Orton smashing through his former lackeys and showing them who the real star was, which he did in quite the destruction by the end.

Vickie Guerrero and company are ready for their ten woman tag. Jillian Hall comes in for a song and whole thing turns into a Slim Jim commercial, with Santino Marella having a bite to change Jillian. First she’s Mae Young, then Gene Okerlund (yes in the same dress) and finally Melina. Wacky….I guess you could call it fun? This isn’t on the Network due to the music.

Money In The Bank

Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Evan Bourne, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy, MVP, Shelton Benjamin

This is the last Wrestlemania MITB match before it would go on to get its own show this same year. It’s the usual melee to start with almost everyone going outside. The first ladder is sent inside about thirty seconds in but a bunch of people stop to go after McIntyre rather than climbing. Almost everyone tries to go up but gets stopped, with Kane chokeslamming Bourne over the top for a crash onto more people.

Swagger and Hardy get trapped behind a ladder in the corner and Christian monkey flips Kingston into the ladder onto them. Ziggler breaks it up and makes the climb but MVP pulls him right back down. Kingston hammers on Kane in the corner, earning himself a powerbomb onto a ladder. Benjamin goes up this time so it’s Swagger spearing him with another ladder to break it up.

Swagger gets caught under a ladder so Hardy and Christian hit him with a ladder each. One of the ladders is bridged into another, with Bourne kicking Christian off the bridged version. Air Bourne hits Christian and Bourne goes up, only to be cut off by Hardy. Swagger cuts Hardy off though and shoves him onto the bridged ladder for the huge crash. Shelton and MVP go up but come crashing down, leaving everyone on the floor for a bit.

Kane goes up but has to cut off Ziggler, including a chokeslam onto the ladder. With Kane distracted, Kofi comes back in to kick him in the head but the only ladder available is broken. Kofi gets crazy creative by using the pieces like stilts and jumping up the rungs, only to have McIntyre make the save.

McIntyre goes up but Hardy shoves the ladder over for the big crotching on top. It’s Matt going up this time until Christian is there as well but they both have to knock Kane down. That’s not enough for Christian, who hits the reverse DDT off the ladder to plant Matt again. Christian goes up again, only to have Swagger make the save and pull the case down for the win at 13:29.

Rating: B-. It was a wild match as usual but there is only so much you can do with ten people in a match trying to get in as much time as possible. The stilts spot was very unique and stood out more than anything else, though the rest was little more than the usual big spots and crashes. Swagger winning is a surprise, but WWE was trying something new and that’s often a good idea.

We look back at last night’s Hall Of Fame ceremony.

The Class of 2010 is introduced:

Stu Hart (represented by eight relatives)
Wendi Richter (seems very happy to be there)
Mad Dog Vachon (sadly in a wheelchair)
Antonio Inoki (not the strongest reaction)
Bob Uecker (nice reception)
Gorgeous George (represented by his former wife)
Ted DiBiase (by far the strongest reaction)

Sweet goodness that Hall of Fame theme is always awesome.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. After debuting on Raw and winning the WWE Title within a few weeks, Sheamus was knocked out of the Elimination Chamber by HHH, costing him the title. Sheamus then went on to talk about how much he loved watching HHH while growing up. Then Sheamus laid him out, which HHH liked because it’s what he did when he went after the Ultimate Warrior in 1996 (and yes they explained how badly it went). That plus a need for revenge makes for a Wrestlemania match.

HHH vs. Sheamus

HHH’s entrance goes on for a good while, as you might have expected. Sheamus drives him into the corner to start but HHH hits him in the face. It’s way too early for the Pedigree though as Sheamus bails out to the floor. Back in and a suplex drops Sheamus again, setting up the knee drop for one.

HHH goes old school (shocking I know) as we hit the Figure Four, with Sheamus going straight to the ropes. The fight goes outside with HHH being whipped into the steps, followed by the (yet to be named) Irish Curse back inside. An ax handle to the head cuts HHH off again and Sheamus grabs the armbar.

We’ll make that a chinlock but HHH suplexes his way to freedom, sending Striker into a FAR too long….whatever you call what he does. HHH grabs a DDT and they’re both down, followed by the expected slugout. There’s the running knee into the facebuster for two and a neckbreaker drops Sheamus for the same.

The yet to be named Brogue Kick misses so HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be reversed into the Brogue Kick for two. The fans are rather behind HHH, who fights out of the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) and gets two more off a spinebuster. Sheamus rolls out to the apron and manages another Brogue Kick…but takes too long and gets Pedigreed out of nowhere for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This is the type of match that will work almost every single time as you had two big strong guys beating the fire out of each other until the ending. That’s the kind of brawl that both of them know how to do (though Sheamus would get WAY better later on) and it worked here. That being said, Sheamus is the up and comer and loses to HHH, which seems to be a bit counterproductive, but this would hardly be the first time that happened.

We recap CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio. After Mysterio cost Punk a spot in Money In The Bank, Punk scared the heck out of Mysterio’s daughter Aliyah. They then traded various attacks before Punk creepily sang Happy Birthday to Aliyah, which was too far. Now it’s time for their fight, with Mysterio having to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has the Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows and Serena) with him and talks about how these 70,000 people here are going to drink or try pills to make their problems go away. He can be their savior and lead them to a better place because he chooses to be drug free and better than everyone here. Mysterio is one of the Na’vi from Avatar, which isn’t quite the same as the superhero gear he tends to use.

Gallows offers an early distraction and Punk gets to stomp away in the corner before tying Mysterio in the Tree of Woe. A missed charge results in a crotching against the post though and they head to the floor…where Punk drops him face first onto the steps. Back in and Punk hammers away for two and we’re already in the chinlock. Mysterio fights out like he’s a top star who was in a chinlock and hits the springboard seated senton.

Punk snaps off a powerslam for two before hitting one heck of a kick to the head for the same. Four more near falls have Punk rather frustrated until Mysterio is up with a springboard moonsault DDT for two of his own. Mysterio’s frog splash misses to give Punk two more, meaning it’s time for even more frustration. Back up and Mysterio loads him up for the 619 but has to take out the Society. Not that it matters as the 619 into the springboard splash finishes Punk at 6:30.

Rating: C+. Another match that was good but they didn’t have the time to do very much. It had the stakes and they work well together, but there is only so much they can do when they have less than seven minutes. It makes perfect sense to have the loudmouth holier than thou heel get what’s coming to him and who better to do that than one of the resident superheroes?

We recap Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon. Hart returned after thirteen years of bitterness after the Montreal Screwjob and of course Vince McMahon couldn’t let it to. Hart wanted to fight Vince at Wrestlemania but got turned down, only to have his leg broken in a car wreck in the parking lot. Then Vince agreed to fight him….and then Hart revealed he was gold bricking, because that’s just what Hart does.

Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart

No Holds Barred. Hold on though as Vince grabs a mic and says he’s hired a bunch of lumberjacks, in the form of various members of the Hart Family. As a bonus, Bret’s brother Bruce can be guest referee! Bret isn’t overly shocked and says what’s done is done. If there is one thing about the Harts though, it’s that they got paid up front and the money is already in the bank.

If there is one thing he’s learned from the Montreal Screwjob, it’s there’s nothing better than a good double cross. The Harts, including Bret, are united, and tonight is the night that Bret screws Vince. The bell rings and Bret punches him down and chokes in the corner, with Vince bailing to the floor. That means the Harts can make it even worse, including a slap from Natalya (Striker: “Best luck in your future endeavors Natalya.”).

The Hart Dynasty hits a top rope Hart Attack to the floor and it’s time to throw Vince back inside. Bret works on the leg, which sends Vince outside again. This time he comes back in with tire iron but Bret knocks it away again and takes it away. Bret hammers away with the tire iron…and then does it some more…and more, to the point where unless Bret has the strength of a two year old, Vince should be in a coma.

The Sharpshooter is teased but Bret lets it go so he can use the tire iron again. Some low blows have Vince down again and let’s get a chair in there too. Bret sits down and then hits some hard chair shots to Vince’s back. The chair is bent up so Bret finally (and I do mean finally) grabs the Sharpshooter for the win at 11:08.

Rating: C. Ok so I’ve called this an A+ before because I love what they did with Vince being absolutely destroyed and not getting in a single bit of offense. This was never supposed to be anything but a massacre until the Sharpshooter…but my goodness how long did they go with the tire iron/chair shots? The thing here is that this is really only a match in name only so I’m not going to call it bad, but Bret couldn’t have mixed it up with some different stuff other than hitting him over and over with the same stuff?

A big Hart celebration ensues.

Wrestlemania XXVII is coming to Atlanta, Georgia.

Official attendance: 72,219.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Edge for the Smackdown World Title. They were partners last year but Edge tore his Achilles. Edge came back at the Royal Rumble (at #29 in a great surprise) and won, setting up his title shot here. For some reason the build for this match involved Edge saying “spear” over and over until it lost all meaning.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending. They start slowly with Jericho grabbing a headlock (Jericho: “Ask him!”) but Edge is right back with some running shoulders. Jericho is back with some stompings in the corner before sending Edge outside. That’s good for a long count before Edge comes back in and gets chinlocked. Jericho slowly stomps and slaps away, which takes long enough that Edge manages to send him shoulder first into the post.

A running shoulder sends Jericho into the announcers’ table and there’s a clothesline off the apron. They head back inside and hopefully pick up the energy a bit here. Back in and Edge gets two off a super gordbuster, followed by a middle rope sunset flip for the same. Jericho goes simple by kicking him in the head but the Codebreaker is blocked. The spear is countered into a quick Walls but Edge slips out.

The Lionsault misses and Edge is right back up with the Edge O Matic for two. Jericho’s enziguri gets two more but so does the Impaler as things slow back down a bit. Jericho mixes things up a bit with a middle rope forearm to the back of the head (Edge was nice enough to look over his shoulder before Jericho jumped), only to have his own spear cut off by a big boot.

The real spear is countered into a Codebreaker for a rather delayed two. Jericho starts going after the ankle before switching to the Walls. We’ll make that a half Walls to stay on the bad ankle but the rope is grabbed. Edge’s rollup for two is also grabbed and they crash out to the floor for a breather. The frustrated Jericho grabs the belt and the referee gets distracted, allowing Jericho’s belt shot to get two. The Codebreaker to a limping Edge retains the title at 15:47.

Rating: B. This was good but it never hit that next level and it made things kind of disappointing. Edge only teased the spear once and never got a big near fall. I was expecting something a lot more epic than we got here and that just didn’t happen. There were some shenanigans due to the belt shot but this needed to be more intense and violent given what Edge was saying coming in.

Post match Jericho goes after Edge again but Edge hits a spear off the announcers’ table and through the barricade as the feud must continue.

We look at the pre-show battle royal.

Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse/Vickie Guerrero vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James

Get the women on the show special. Vickie bumps Gail to start and turns around to pose, only to run into Phoenix. The non-Vickie team takes turns beating on Vickie in the corner, who asks if Kelly knows who she is. That earns Vickie a kick to the ribs with McCool making the save. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of finishers, leaving Vickie crying in the corner as Beth comes up behind her. McCool makes another save and the Hog Splash (Cole’s name) finishes Kelly at 3:29.

Rating: D. Oh what else were you expecting here? A bunch of the people barely did anything, there were a bunch of Vickie fat jokes, Lawler drooled over most of them and Striker continues to try to make everything sound like the most important moment ever because it gets people paying attention to him. Terrible match and little more than a way for Vickie to keep her heat.

We recap John Cena challenging Batista for the Raw World Title. Cena got the title back in the Elimination Chamber but Vince McMahon allowed Batista an immediate title shot. Now it’s time for the fair rematch, with Batista talking about being tired of Cena being the star when they got big at the same time. You can pretty much ignore all of those details though and just go with “It’s John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania.”

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista is defending and Cena’s big entrance is from the United States Air Force Honor Guard Drill Team. We get the Big Match Intros before they fight over a lockup. Batista grabs a headlock before running Cena over, only to have Cena come back with a headlock of his own. That’s broken up and Batista sends him hard into the corner for the running clothesline to the back of the head.

Some cranking on the neck has Cena down but he manages a release suplex (that didn’t look great) and the bulldog connects for two. It’s way too early for the AA though as Batista reverses into a DDT for two of his own. A chinlock with a bodyscissors keeps Cena down for a bit, only to have him power up and start slugging away. Batista sticks with what has been working by grabbing a neckbreaker for two more.

The front chancery keeps Cena in trouble until he powers up again. The STF goes on out of nowhere but Batista grabs the rope like a bad villain should. Batista is fine enough to hit a spear for two before loading Cena up top. The superplex attempt is blocked and Cena hits a super Five Knuckle Shuffle of all things.

Batista gets back up and hits his namesake Bomb for two, giving us a great shocked face. Back up Cena counters another Batista Bomb into the AA (toss variation) for two, leaving them both down. Cena goes up but dives into a spinebuster (how Batista injured Cena’s neck a few years ago), only to have the Batista Bomb reversed into the STF (with Cena giving him a LONG talk) for the tap at 13:29.

Rating: B. It’s good and they were getting to the big stuff but I was expecting longer than just shy of fourteen minutes. Cena getting the title back is the right way to go for him though as he can put someone else over rather soon. Batista was not quite what he used to be but these two instantly make for an epic feel. Not a classic match, though they didn’t do anything wrong with the setup and finish going rather well.

Cena poses with a guy in a WE HATE CENA shirt for a funny moment.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker. Shawn lost to him the previous year before, leaving Shawn obsessed with having to get the win. It is so big that Shawn is willing to put his career on the line against the Streak, saying he doesn’t have a career if he can’t beat the Undertaker. Not that it matters as this feels absolutely huge and you know it’s going to go well.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ. The entrances are absolutely epic and you know that you’re about to see something special. They also take their sweet time getting to the ring and it builds up even more, with Shawn staring at Undertaker the entire way to the ring. Undertaker charges at him to start but Shawn is right there with the chops. Shawn gets flipped into the corner, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Old School connects but Undertaker comes up limping a bit. The chokeslam is loaded up but the knee gives out, with Shawn wisely kicking away at the leg. The Tombstone is broken up as well so Shawn starts in on the shoulder, which is a bit of an odd choice given UNDERTAKER IS LIMPING.

Undertaker slips out but has to block a quick superkick attempt as things reset a bit. The logic kicks in as Shawn starts going after the knee in the corner but Undertaker clotheslines him to the floor. The Taker Dive is loaded up but Shawn comes back in to take out the knee in a rather smart move. It’s too early for the Figure Four and they head outside, where Shawn is rammed back first into the post. The apron legdrop connects but Shawn goes after the leg again to take over.

Now the Figure Four goes on until Undertaker sits up. Shawn: “No.” And Undertaker goes back down. Well that was polite of him. Undertaker turns it over so Shawn wisely lets go and they take a breather. Back up and they strike it out until Undertaker grabs a quick chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is escaped again though and Shawn grabs the ankle lock, complete with a grapevine.

Undertaker finally uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom so Shawn sends him outside. A springboard spinning crossbody is pulled out of the air so Undertaker hit the Tombstone on the floor to knock Shawn silly. Medics come out to check on Shawn but Undertaker isn’t having that and throws him back inside for two, meaning frustration is setting in. This might have more of an impact if MATT STRIKER WOULD SHUT UP for once, but instead he needs to keep shouting what he thinks sound like highlight reel worthy lines.

The Last Ride is loaded up but Undertaker’s knee gives out and they crash down, with Shawn getting two off a faceplant. Shawn’s top rope elbow only hits raised knees, which have Undertaker in even more pain. Hell’s Gate goes on but Shawn flips over into a rollup for two. Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere for two but another attempt is countered into a heck of a Last Ride for two more.

They go outside and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. That takes too long though and it’s a superkick to knock Undertaker onto the table instead. In something that couldn’t possibly go wrong, Shawn goes up and moonsaults down onto Undertaker, mostly hitting his feet/lower legs, which does tie into everything so far. Shawn realizes he has a chance and throws Undertaker inside and hits a clean Sweet Chin Music (that has to be the fourth or fifth) for two, with Cole telegraphing the kickout by screaming that Streak was over.

Another superkick is countered into a chokeslam but Undertaker can barely move, let alone cover. Instead it’s a Tombstone (with tongue) for two and we get another stunned face. Shawn can’t get up so Undertaker loads up the throat slit….but stops. Undertaker tells him to stay down as Shawn pulls himself up and then slaps Undertaker in the face, admitting that he can’t do it and basically telling Undertaker to finish him off. The jumping Tombstone does just that at 24:00.

Rating: A+. What do you want me to say here? This is an absolute masterpiece and one of the best matches either of them have ever had if not their best ever. The leg stuff played a role throughout until Shawn gave it everything he had but just couldn’t do it in the end. It told an amazing story with some great action, including multiple near falls where you could buy it being over. It’s better than I remember it being and one of the best main events in Wrestlemania history.

Undertaker needs the ropes to get to his feet and Shawn finally gets up. Undertaker says something to him we can’t see and they hug before Undertaker leaves him alone in the ring. Shawn gets to soak in the THANK YOU SHAWN chants before doing the long walk up the ramp. Shawn: “I’m gonna drive my kids crazy in three weeks!” He looks back again and walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a weird show as there isn’t much that is Wrestlemania worthy. Edge vs. Jericho is just good, Money in the Bank is its usual ok self, HHH vs. Sheamus is a slightly above average power brawl and Batista vs. Cena wasn’t even fifteen minutes long. Those are the high points though, as the rest of the show is pretty much mediocre/forgettable to bad. That doesn’t make for a great Wrestlemania, but this show is usually pretty well remembered.

That’s because of the main event and my goodness does it deserve the praise it receives. I’ve seen it a few times now and it pulled me in again with how epic of a showdown they were having here. It felt like a Wrestlemania main event match and you do not get those very often. That match alone makes this Wrestlemania worth seeing, though I would definitely recommend fast forwarding a good bit of the midcard, as it was quite the miss in multiple places.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: C-

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: C

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: B+
2024 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: B-

That’s quite a drop for the overall rating but some of the lower matches just don’t hold up as well.

 

 

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WWE Vault Grab Bag IV
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, Abraham Washington, Byron Saxton, Brett DiBiase, Matt Martlaro, Jim Ross, Chris Russo

This has become one of my favorite things to do lately as I’ll be looking at a totally random collection of matches from the WWE (or possibly WCW) Vault YouTube channels. You never know what they’re going to drop and it could be something even I’ve never seen before. We’ll be looking at another eleven matches here so let’s get to it.

From WCCW in Dallas, Texas, February 26, 1983.

Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

Lumberjack match. Hayes bails to the floor to start, which isn’t the most logical way to go in this kind of a match. Kerry and Gordy start things off and trade some fists until it’s quickly off to Hayes for the strutting. Hayes sends him into the buckle but gets punched down for two, meaning it’s off to David vs. Gordy.

David takes over rather quickly and hands it off to Kevin for the nice barefoot dropkick but Gordy sends him into the corner. Roberts comes in to choke on the rope and a pull of the trunks keeps David in trouble. A knee drop gets two and it’s back to Gordy to drive him into the corner. David gets a foot up to cut him off and it’s back to Kerry for the big hot comeback.

A snapmare into a knee drop has Gordy rocked but Roberts is right back in. Kerry gets dropped into a hammerlock and Hayes snaps the arm over the top rope. Hayes gets two off a hammerlock backbreaker and Kerry is sent outside where the lumberjacks…throw him back in without getting violent. Kerry manages the tag off to David and everything breaks down. Kerry and Roberts fight to the floor, leaving Hayes to come off the ropes with an ax handle. Kevin breaks up the cover though and David pins Gordy at 11:41.

Rating: B-. As usual, the match itself was only ok, but what mattered the most here was the crowd’s reaction. Make no mistake about it: nothing came close to getting this much heat in wrestling at this point, which is why WCCW is so fondly remembered to this day. It was the hottest feud in wrestling and that was the case for a very long time. Not great, but very entertaining.

Post match the Freebirds are ticked off before leaving. The Von Erichs thank the fans and want the World Title.

From Evansville, Indiana, February 3, 1998 in a dark match before Raw.

One Man Gang vs. Flanagan

The Gang gets quite the nostalgia pop and is a good bit slimmer than he was back in the day. Gang jumps him to start and chokes with a jacket before hammering away in the corner. Flanagan (Flash Flanagan, a longtime OVW star) comes back with a missile dropkick for one and some clotheslines, only to charge into a side slam. Gang splashes him in the corner but Flanagan is back with the usual assortment of strikes. Flanagan charges into a boot in the corner though and a huge clothesline puts him down again. The 747 finishes Flanagan off at 6:10.

Rating: C-. Oddly enough, the Gang didn’t look terrible here. He was out there doing his thing and looked decent doing it. The match wasn’t particularly good of course as Gang wasn’t great on his best day, but this was far from Earthquake’s disaster of an out of nowhere dark match. The other interesting thing is that Gang was only thirty seven here. It absolutely would not have been insane for him to still be going for a few more years so this was definitely worth a shot.

From New York City, New York, September 23, 1985.

Andre The Giant vs. King Kong Bundy

Yes this is the Colossal Jostle, which is a takeoff of Colossal Tussle, which was the planned name for the show that would eventually be dubbed Wrestlemania. Lou Albano and Jimmy Hart are here too. Andre powers him into the corner for the choke to start, with Bundy bailing out to the floor. Back in and Bundy hammers away in the corner but gets dropped with a quick headbutt. Bundy kicks him in the chest and boots him out to the floor for a change. Back in and Andre grabs an armbar and cranks away. Then he cranks some more.

Then they go to the mat with the cranking continues. We’ve been in this same hold for over three minutes now and there is just nothing happening. Wait, they turned over and rolled into the middle of the ring. Bundy FINALLY gets out of it after about four minutes and is headbutted outside for a heck of a bump. Back in and Andre wins a slugout before…well they might be loading up a tango. Bundy knocks him into the corner for more choking on the ropes but Andre cuts off a charge with a raised boot. Andre sits on Bundy’s chest but Big John Studd runs in for the DQ at 13:52.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness no. This was one of those matches where they were trying at the start and they could have done better if it was, say, eight minutes shorter. Having Andre work on the arm for almost a third of the match was quite the choice and it was hardly worth watching. They started fast and it was fun for a few minutes, but then reality set in and it got bad in a hurry.

Post match Andre rolls outside and grabs a chair, which he breaks over a table and chases the monsters off. Given that a ticked off Andre was a terrifying sight, I can’t blame them.

From WWC in Caguas, Puerto Rico, August 6, 1993.

Madusa vs. Luna Vachon

I believe that’s the date, as these two fought a few times in Puerto Rico around this time. They go to the mat to start with Vachon working on a hammerlock but getting reversed into a headscissors. That’s broken up and they head outside, with Madusa being sent (a long way) over the barricade.

Back in and Madusa grabs a slam but gets pulled into a nerve hold to put her back down. Madusa fights up and slaps her in the face a few times, setting up a chinlock. Vachon reverses into one of her own but that’s broken up as well, with Madusa grabbing a superplex for two. Back up and the missile dropkick misses for Madusa, allowing Vachon to get the quick pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. Not exactly great stuff here, but women’s wrestling in 1993 was a very different universe. You could see the talent in there though and they were absolutely trying. It would have been nice to see things had they done this years later, but for now it’s certainly an interesting look at a rather different wrestling universe.

From New York City, New York, July 7, 2017.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Styles is challenging at a house show. Owens stalls a lot before the bell and we’re clipped to more stalling, though the bell singes to have rang. The threat of a wristlock sends Owens bailing to the floor, with Styles following him out. Back in and Owens hammers away but his ram into the corner is blocked. Styles sends him into the buckle instead and they go outside, with Owens being sent crashing down.

Back in and the Phenomenal Forearm misses, allowing Owens to score with the superkick. Some right hands in the corner let Owens load up the Cannonball but Styles rolls outside, leaving Owens to chill on the top rope instead. A clothesline gives Owens two and we hit the chinlock.

We’re clipped to Styles getting pulled back down into the chinlock but he fights up again. A jumping enziguri puts Owens down as well and Styles hits the seated forearm. The belly to back faceplant gives Styles two but Owens bails from the threat of the Styles Clash. Instead Styles goes with the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two and they’re both down again. Another superkick gives Owens two but the Swanton hits raised knees. The Styles Clash gives Styles two and the Phenomenal Forearm connects to give Styles the pin and the title at 13:04 shown.

Rating: B. It’s no surprise that these two had solid chemistry together, but it’s also fascinating to see something like this happen at a house show. That really wasn’t the case most of the time but as usual, the Garden was just different. They had a good match, and Styles winning the title (even though he wouldn’t hold it long) is an easy way to go as Styles can make just about anything work.

Styles gets to celebrate for a long time and spends some time with the fans on the way out for a good moment.

From FCW in 2010/11. This is a bit different as it’s a look back at an entire rivalry with a few matches.

 

Queen Of FCW/Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Naomi Knight

From FCW TV, August 29, 2010. Winner take all and that would be the FCW Divas Title, not the main roster version. There are a bunch of Divas watching at ringside too. Lee shoulders her down to start but runs into the Rear View. A backslide with the splits gives Naomi two as commentary is having WAY too much fun looking at these two. Lee flips her over and hits a running knee for two but Naomi blocks a headscissors on the floor. They crash out to the floor and slug it out until it’s a double countout at 2:31.

AJ Lee vs. Naomi Knight

From FCW TV, September 29, 2010 and a non-title lumberjill match. Naomi grabs a headlock to start but gets kicked to the floor, where she is rather aggressively thrown back inside. Lee grabs the chinlock but Naomi sends her outside, where the lumberjills throw her back inside as well. Washington: “That kind of turns me on.” Sweet goodness this guy is insufferable. Back in and a Rear View drops Lee again but she’s right back with a tornado DDT for two. Lee goes up but gets leg lariated out of the air to give Naomi the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. Not much to see here, but this was a VERY different time for women’s wrestling. These two weren’t exactly given much time (as we’re at less than six minutes over two matches) and while it seems there is a story, it definitely feels like FCW saying “here’s a women’s match”. You need a bit more than that, though this was on the higher level of women’s wrestling at this point.

Divas Title: Naomi Knight vs. AJ Lee

From FCW TV, January 23, 2011 and Naomi is defending. Lee takes over to start and sends Naomi outside. Back in and Lee grabs a chinlock but Naomi fights up without much trouble. A spinning kick to the head gives Naomi two but a slingshot rollup is broken up. Lee knees her in the face for two, followed by the yet to be named Black Widow. That’s reversed into a backbreaker for two more but Lee is back up with a standing Sliced Bread #2 for the pin and title at 5:04.

Rating: C. This got a bit more time and that did help, but there is still only so much to get from this kind of a match. At least they were able to fit in a bit more with Lee evening the series. They’re also getting the chance to showcase their talents more each time and that was a great thing to see, as it was basically a preview of the coming years.

Divas Title: Naomi Knight vs. AJ Lee

From FCW TV, March 13, 2011 and Lee is defending. Lee takes her down into an early Fujiwara armbar. The Rear View connects but Naomi misses a big crossbody into the ropes for a heck of a crash. Lee is right back on the arm but Naomi kicks her down again. Naomi fires off more kicks, only to get kicked down out of the corner. The standing Sliced Bread #2 finishes for Lee at 1:34. Well that was pretty definitive.

From Portland, Maine, July 21, 1992. This is a dark match from a TV taping (they taped shows for different series that day), including the first ever WWF ladder match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels.

Undertaker/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Berzerker

Holy Lethal Lottery match! Paul Bearer, Mr. Perfect and Mr. Fuji are here too and this actually aired on a German WWF show later in the year (plus on a Randy Savage Unreleased DVD). We get the big staredown to start until Savage (the WWF Champion) grabs the mic for an OH YEAH. Savage and Flair start things off as we’re over two minutes in with no contact yet.

Flair does the hand slap and then slicks back his hair, meaning it’s finally time to lock up with about two and a half minutes burned off. Savage’s headlock is quickly reversed but he’s right back with a hammerlock. Flair bails to the rope so Savage slaps him in the face to make it more serious. Another slap has Flair down on one knee, with Perfect not exactly happy with any of this.

Flair does a rare leapfrog before getting dropped with a clothesline, meaning it’s off to Undertaker. The forearms and chops in the corner have as much effect as you would expect so Undertaker hits a gorilla press (and seems to stumble a bit as he slams Flair down). It’s off to Berzerker, who gets choked into the corner but knocks Undertaker outside. That’s fine with Undertaker of course, who sends Berzerler’s hands into the steps for some rather hilarious staggering selling.

Back in and Savage’s top rope ax handle gets two but Berzerker tosses him into the corner to take over. Flair comes in for a running chop and we hit the chinlock. Savage is tossed outside for a cheap shot from Perfect and Berzerker gets to toss him outside as well. The ring mats are pulled up and Savage gets caught underneath them for a bit of a weird spot. Back in and Savage gets tied up in the ropes but gets out and crawls over to Undertaker for the big tag. We don’t waste time as it’s a Tombstone to Berzerker, a clothesline to Flair and the big elbow to pin Berzerker at 13:37.

Rating: B-. Oh of course this was fun. There was pretty much no way that they weren’t going to have a good time out there, as it was the always effective idea of combining two feuds into one. I had a good time with this and it’s the kind of rarely seen match that is worth looking at all these years later. Come on. Savage and Berzerker? Undertaker and Flair? What’s not to like?

From Hartford, Connecticut, August 27, 1986, a dark match from a Wrestling Challenge taping.

Hulk Hogan/Junkyard Dog vs. Paul Orndorff/Adrian Adonis

Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Hart and Bob Orton are here too as Lord Alfred Hayes is ring announcer, which oddly works. Orndorff charges at Hogan and hammers away to start but Hogan fights back with right hands of his own. Hogan clears the ring of all the villains, both the legal and illegal ones, before hitting a jumping knee of all things to Orndorff. They fight out the floor with Hogan hammering away even more, followed by Dog coming in for right hands of his own.

The all fours headbutts have the villains down again and the crowd is going insane for all of this. There’s a bunch of trash thrown in and we settle down to Dog vs. Adonis (which thankfully allows Orndorff to fix his trunks, which were riding up). Dog wastes no time in sending Adonis outside, where Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. Hogan isn’t having that but gets choked by some kind of a belt to put him down again. Back in and Dog headbutts Adonis, who flips around in quite the bump.

A double clothesline drops Adonis again but he’s able to come back with the sleeper. With Dog down, Orndorff adds a top rope fist drop and draws Hogan in like a moron. The chinlock goes on but Dog fights up and a double right hand puts both of them down again. Adonis is right there to cut off the tag though and a jumping elbow hits Dog. That doesn’t do much good though as Dog is up for the tag to Hogan a few seconds later, meaning right hands can come flying. Everything breaks down and Hart’s interference doesn’t work. Instead it’s the big leg to finish Adonis at 9:18.

Rating: B-. More entertaining stuff here, with Hogan of course being over like free beer in a frat house. You could pretty much put anyone with him and have them feel like a huge star, with the Dog already being a big deal on his own. That’s a pretty good situation to have and it worked again here. At the same time, Orndorff was absolutely white hot at this point and the best villain going, with Adonis being more than able to hang in there with anyone. Fun match.

Post match, a lot of posing ensues.

From the NXT pilot at Full Sail University in Winter Park, Florida, December 7, 2011.

Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus/Daniel Bryan

Rhodes is the Intercontinental Champion and says tonight they have defied time because this is tomorrow’s superstars today. This makes you wonder what happens if tomorrow never comes, so what about the current champions? Rhodes asks the people if they know who he is, because he may be the ugly duckling of the Legacy but he is the future of the WWE. He’s ready to define Daniel Bryan but here is Bryan (with banged up ribs and his Money In The Bank briefcase) to cut him off.

With Rhodes’ future wife Eden Stiles out of the way, we’re ready to go. Rhodes shoulders Bryan down to start but gets kicked in the chest for his efforts. That earns Bryan an elbow to the bad ribs, allowing McIntyre to come in and stay on those ribs. Sheamus comes in and gets knocked into the corner by McIntyre. That doesn’t last long as McIntyre is knocked to the apron for the ten forearms. Rhodes is sent outside as well and Bryan adds a running knee from the apron.

We take a break and come back with Bryan giving McIntyre a dragon screw legwhip but McIntyre goes to the ropes to save himself. Back in and Rhodes goes after the ribs, only to get pulled into a surfboard. Rhodes gets rolled up for two and rolls outside, going all the way into the crowd. Sheamus comes in and unloads with forearms to Rhodes’ back, followed by a forearm to knock Rhodes out of the air. McIntyre gets a blind tag and boots Sheamus in the face for two as we take another break.

We come back with Rhodes’ front chancery setting up McIntyre’s suplex for two on Sheamus. It’s back to Rhodes to stomp away in the corner as JR says that Rhodes has the X factor and will be WWE Champion one day. Fair enough actually. Sheamus picks Rhodes up for a toss and it’s back to Bryan to back up the pace, including the running dropkick in the corner. The Swan Dive misses though and Bryan is sent outside for a drop onto the barricade.

Bryan is thrown back in for an abdominal stretch from Rhodes, which includes an elbow to the ribs. McIntyre’s gutbuster gets two and the abdominal stretch goes on again. This time it’s broken up with a hiptoss and they hit stereo crossbodies. Bryan slides through McIntyre’s legs and it’s back to Sheamus for the powerhouse comeback. The Irish Curse gets two on McIntyre with Rhodes making the save as everything breaks down. The Brogue Kick finishes McIntyre at 25:27.

Rating: B. The time helped here as they were able to tell a lot more of a story, which is always appreciated. At the same time, this is a situation where you have four talented wrestlers who were given the chance of showcasing their skills, which was a big deal on this kind of a show. I got into this one and it was indeed worth a look.

Overall Rating: C+. This started slowly but ended well and that made things good enough. The good thing here is that there was a wide variety of matches, which granted is always the high point of these things. It’s another great mixture of what you can see from the Vault and I had fun with it again, which hopefully continues for a very long time.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2023
Date: January 28, 2023
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 51,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Pat McAfee

As usual, it’s hard to believe that a year has passed since this show and now we get to see how it holds up. There are of course two Royal Rumble matches, plus Kevin Owens getting another title shot against Roman Reigns. The bigger story though is Sami Zayn, who has been having some issues with Reigns, his Bloodline boss, coming into the show. Let’s get to it.

Musician Hardy talks about knowing what it takes to become someone. We get some previews of the show’s big matches. Well as many big ones as you can on a card with five matches. Hardy says when you get the chance, kick the door down.

The announcers welcome us to the show….and Pat McAfee is here as a surprise commentator. Graves is FURIOUS and Cole sounds shocked that he’s here. Cole isn’t sure how McAfee could be here when he talked to him on Face Time earlier today. McAfee: “Yeah I lied straight to your face.” Graves’ reaction alone is worth a listen as he won’t stop yelling.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Gunther in at #1 and Sheamus is in at #2. Believe it or not, they go straight to slugging it out with a collision not getting anywhere. Gunther tries to toss him out so Sheamus rakes the eyes for the break. The Irish Curse isn’t enough to get rid of Gunther and it’s the Miz in at #3. Since it takes about thirty seconds to get to the ring, Gunther is back up and trying to toss Sheamus before Miz can even get inside. Miz finally runs inside and gets chopped down by Gunther, leaving Sheamus to hammer Gunther in the corner. Sheamus and Gunther try to toss each other until Kofi Kingston is in at #4.

Kingston high crossbodies Miz and Gunther and kicks Sheamus in the face for a bonus. Back up and Sheamus sends him to the apron but can’t get rid of him just yet. No one can get rid of anyone else so Johnny Gargano is in at #5. The slingshot spear hits Kofi and there’s an enziguri to Miz. For some reason Gargano loads up some forearms to Miz’s chest, only to have Sheamus glare him away. Some kicks to the face put Miz out, leaving a bunch of people to go after Gunther.

Xavier Woods is in at #6 and New Day starts to clean house on everyone else. Kofi and Woods tease fighting each other but do a….we’ll call it a dance I guess. Karrion Kross is in at #7 and goes after Woods (after another rather slow entrance, which is starting to become an issue as it takes time for anything to happen). Gunther BLASTS Kross with a clothesline but he’s right back up, meaning it’s time for a slugout with Sheamus. Chad Gable is in at #8, who gets into an amateur match with Woods, who for some reason thinks this is a good idea.

Gable German suplexes Woods down but gets decked by Kofi as Drew McIntyre is in at #9. The reverse Alabama Slam sends Gargano down onto Gable as commentary mocks Sheamus and McIntyre’s team name, which may or may not be an adult film company. McIntyre Claymores Kross out and gets to trade chops with Gunther. Santos Escobar is in at #10, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Kingston, Gargano, Woods, Gable, McIntyre and Escobar at the one third mark. Escobar goes after Gable but has to slip out of Sheamus’ forearms to the chest.

Angelo Dawkins is in at #11 and McAfee seems rather intrigued. Gunther kicks Woods out but Escobar saves Gunther from Kingston for some reason. Kingston hits a pop up double stomp to Gunther’s chest, only to be sent outside and onto a chair. The idea is for one foot to stay on said chair…but yeah he’s out anyway. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar is in at #12 and smashing is likely to ensue. The suplexes start fast and there go Escobar, Dawkins and Escobar.

We get the Lesnar vs. Gunther staredown and the fans REALLY like that one. Since we don’t have enough power in there at the moment, Bobby Lashley is in at #13. Lesnar suplexes Gunther but walks into a spear from Lashley, who takes down almost everyone else. A clothesline gets rid of Lesnar, which somehow didn’t set up a Wrestlemania rematch. Baron Corbin is in at #14 as Lesnar wrecks ringside.

Lesnar also wrecks Corbin, including an F5 on the floor. Things slow down in the ring and it’s Seth Rollins in at #15. Rollins throws Corbin inside and quickly eliminates him, which has McAfee very happy. Sheamus and Rollins slug it out as Otis is in at #16. Otis gets to run some people over as commentary makes sumo references. Rey Mysterio is in at #17…or not as he doesn’t show up. Rollins gets rid of Lashley in a bit of a surprise and here is Dominik Mysterio, with Rey’s mask (suggesting an attack) in at #18.

Otis is tossed during the entrance as commentary yells about how much they can’t stand Dominik. After Dominik finally gets in, Elias is in at #19 (McAfee is a big an) and goes after a variety of people. This includes breaking a guitar over Gunther, because that is a good idea. A simultaneous Claymore and Brogue Kick put Elias down and what’s left of him is eliminated.

Finn Balor is in at #20, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Gargano, McIntyre, Rollins, Dominik and Balor. Dominik and Balor get together to dump Gargano but get stared down by Sheamus and McIntyre. Booker T. is in as a surprise at #21 and fires of some kicks into the Spinarooni. Then Gunther eliminates him without much trouble. Sheamus and McIntyre beat on Gunther (who has a cut on his back) as Damian Priest is in at #22.

That doesn’t go anywhere so it’s Montez Ford in at #23 and taking his time to get to the ring. Ford goes after the Judgment Day and is quickly tossed by Priest. Edge is in at #24 and yeah that gets a big reaction. Judgment Day gets speared down and Edge tosses Priest and Balor without much trouble. Dominik breaks up a Rollins vs. Edge showdown, allowing Judgment Day to pull Edge out as well.

Austin Theory is in at #25 but he pauses to get in as Edge has to beat up Judgment Day near the entrance. Cue Rhea Ripley to jump Edge but Beth Phoenix pops up to spear her down. Theory finally gets in and Omos is also in at #26. Sheamus and McIntyre are waiting on him but they get dropped without much effort. Gunther is the only one left to go after Omos but the chops only have so much effect. With Omos as the only one standing, Braun Strowman is in at #27.

Strowman staggers Omos with a right hand and puts him out with a running clothesline for the big elimination. Theory is sent flying into the corner and it’s Ricochet (Strowman’s partner) in at #28. Strowman uses Ricochet as a projectile but gets pummeled but Sheamus and McIntyre. The two of them get together and forearm him in the chest, with Gunther making a weird save. Gunther can’t get rid of McIntyre or McIntyre….but he can eliminate both of them at once. Wrestling is weird for you.

Logan Paul is in at #29 (big reaction) and gets jumped by almost everyone left in the ring. Paul gets away and hits a heck of a Buckshot Lariat on Ricochet but Gunther gutwrenches Paul to the apron. That’s broken up so Paul has to slug away at Strowman, who powerslams him down. Ricochet adds the shooting star but Paul is sent through the ropes instead of over.

Cody Rhodes is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Gunther, Rollins, Dominik, Theory, Strowman, Ricochet, Paul and Rhodes (that’s a nice number for a final grouping). The pace picks up and Rhodes hits the Cody Cutter on Theory. After firing the weight belt into the crowd, Rhodes has to counter Three Amigos into Cross Rhodes. Dominik is out and Ricochet cuts Gunther off. Ricochet and Paul wind up on opposite aprons and springboard in at the same time for a heck of a mid air collision.

Cody and Ricochet get rid of Strowman but Theory dumps Ricochet to get us down to five (Rhodes, Theory, Rollins, Gunther and Paul, with the latter on the floor). The Stomp hits Theory and Rollins gets rid of him, giving us the Rhodes vs. Rollins vs. Rhodes staredown. Gunther breaks that up and gets double teamed, including a pair of Pedigrees. Rather than dumping Gunther, they fight each other but both miss finishers.

Then Paul comes back in and dumps Rollins as we’re down to three. Rhodes ducks the big right hand and hits Cross Rhodes on Paul for the elimination, leaving us with Rhodes vs. Gunther. Rhodes strikes away but the Disaster Kick is clotheslined out of the air. Gunther puts him on the top to stand on his throat and put him on the apron. Rhodes goes up top and gets toss superplexed right back down.

That’s enough to start Rhodes’ comeback and the Cody Cutter connects, setting up a running clothesline to put Gunther on the apron. Rhodes goes after the leg ad hits Shattered Dreams but Gunther is back with the running dropkick. The powerbomb plants Rhodes again as Gunther looks to be on fumes. The sleeper on the apron has Rhodes in more trouble, only to have Rhodes pull him outside as well. Back in and Rhodes is chopped out of the air but he’s fine enough to hit Cross Rhodes. A running clothesline finally gives Rhodes the win at 1:11:40.

Rating: A-. This was a pretty awesome Rumble with Gunther having the career making (because his career wasn’t made yet) performance. He was virtually unstoppable and only went down when someone who was in the match for almost an hour less took him out. Other than that, you had Sheamus and McIntyre as the monster pairing who kept fighting with everyone. The star power was strong and the action was very good, making this a great match with an excellent final sequence to boot. Heck of a Rumble.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. LA Knight. Wyatt was back after a long hiatus and wants to be respected. Knight isn’t impressed and violence has ensued.

LA Knight vs. Bray Wyatt

This is the Mountain Dew Pitch Black match, which means neon lights and anything goes. Knight charges at him to start and gets hammers down, setting up the big toss into the corner. It works so well that Wyatt throws him out of another corner, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Knight manages a whip into the steps but Wyatt sends him over the barricade.

Wyatt loads up a suplex off the steps but Knight drives him through the announcers’ table, with all of the neon stuff popping up or a weird visual. With Knight bailing into the ring, Wyatt throws a toolbox inside as well, seemingly hinting at violence. Back in and the BFT is blocked so Knight hits him with a kendo stick. Not that it matters as Knight charges into Sister Abigail for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D. To say things have changed in the last year is a major understatement but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that this match wasn’t very good. It was a bunch of slow motion fighting and then the finish came pretty much out of nowhere. The lights were a different way to go and I’m sure WWE liked the check it brought, but the match was rather nothing.

Post match Bray puts on another mask and Knight runs away, with some kendo stick shots not having any impact. Wyatt catches him near the production area and gives him the Mandible Claw. Then Uncle Howdy pops up on top of a platform and dives onto Knight, with flames coming out of the hole. Then full size versions of the Firefly Funhouse characters look down from the platform.

Tonight’s attendance: 51,338.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Bianca Belair

Bliss, who has been more evil as o late, is challenging. Belair powers her around to start and hits a running shoulder in the corner, followed by the right hands in said corner. Back up and Bliss gets in a few kicks of her own, setting up a backbreaker with feet into Belair’s back for the extra pain. The chinlock slows Belair down and it works so well that Bliss grabs it again.

This time Bliss says “you couldn’t just leave it alone could you”, which apparently wakes Belair up to hammer away in the corner. The handspring moonsault gives Belair two and some frustration is starting to set in. Bliss gets in another shot and slowly hammers away, setting up the jumping knees to the chest. A backsplash gives Bliss two but Belair has had enough of this and KOD’s her for the pin to retain at 7:34.

Rating: C. This version of Bliss was only going to go so far as the original “SHE’S EVIL” stuff wasn’t quite interesting. Asking fans to care for the warmed up leftovers didn’t help and it was on display here. Then you have Belair, who has cleared out the women’s division and needs a big name to come after the title. Not a terrible match, but it could have been on Raw without missing much.

Post match Belair leaves and Bliss is left in the ring, where a video of her evil days plays, complete with Uncle Howdy asking if she feels in charge. Then she would to on maternity leave and none of that would go anywhere, thank goodness.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rhea Ripley is in at #1 and Liv Morgan is in at #2. They stare each other down to start until Ripley hammers her down. A running boot drops Morgan and a delayed suplex puts her down again. Dana Brooke is in at #3 (naturally looking Barbieish) and missile dropkicks both of them down. A hiptoss into a basement dropkick hits Morgan and Brooke manages a superplex.

With Ripley down in the corner, Emma is in at #4 and grabs a neckbreaker to put Ripley down again. Everyone goes after Ripley and Shayna Baszler is in at #5 as the entrants seem to be going rather quickly here. Baszler goes after Ripley before beating up Morgan and Brooke. The arm stomp has Brooke in more trouble and it’s Bayley, who rips up a sign on the way to the ring, in at #6. Morgan is right there with Oblivion to Bayley but can’t get rid of her. More brawling is on and it’s B Fab in at #7.

Some stomping doesn’t do much for B Fab as Ripley easily tosses her out. NXT Women’s Champion Roxanne Perez is in at #8 and gets to clean some house, even taking Ripley down with a spinning headscissors. Dakota Kai is in at #9 and poses with Bayley, but a bunch of women beat him down. Iyo Sky is in at #10, giving us all of Damage CTRL, with a lineup of Ripley, Morgan, Brooke,, Baszler, Bayley, Perez, Kai and Sky.

The rest of Damage CTRL has to be saved and Sky flips around a lot. Brooke helps Emma get back in but it’s Damage CTRL tossing Brooke out. Damage CTRL kick out Emma and Perez and it’s the returning Natalya in at #11. Bayley cuts Natalya off before she can get revenge on Baszler (who put her on the shelf) and we slow down a good bit. Candice LeRae is in at #12 and hits a step up backsplash on Bayley. Baszler hammers on LeRae in the corner before getting slapped by Natalya.

The running boot misses or Baszler and Natalya sends her to the apron, only to have Baszler come back with the Kirifuda Clutch. Damage CTRL gets rid of both Baszler and Natalya as NXT’s Zoey Stark is in at #13. Stark strikes away, including a nasty looking kick to Ripley’s face. A springboard corkscrew splash hits Ripley but it’s way too early for Stark to put her out. Xia Li is in at #14 and cleans house as well, only to have Damage CTRL cut her off. LeRae fights back but Sky shoves her off the top for an elimination.

Becky Lynch is in at #15 and wants revenge on Damage CTRL for taking her out in a cage on Raw. House is quickly cleaned but Bayley sends Becky outside (not eliminated). The rest of Damage CTRL gets on Becky and throw her into the barricade/over the announcers’ table. Tegan Nox is in at #16 and gets to clean house again. Nox and Morgan beat on Stark but can’t get rid of her as Asuka, to a big reaction, is in at #17.

She unmasks as the evil clown and everyone is scared, allowing Asuka to rapidly clean house. Bayley and Asuka have a big staredown, with Asuka unloading with a variety of strikes. Bayley is sent to the apron but manages a neck snap for a breather. Asuka kicks Nox out and Piper Niven is in at #18, meaning it’s likely time to wreck some people. A running seated crossbody hits Morgan and Bayley as Tamina is in at #19.

That means a Tamina vs. Niven staredown and slugout but Lynch is back in to clean house. The returning Chelsea Green is in at #20, giving us Ripley, Morgan, Bayley, Kai, Sky, Stark, Li, Lynch, Asuka, Niven, Tamina and Green. Ripley tosses Green in about three seconds and Becky eliminates Kai and Sky, only to be eliminated by Bayley (the fans REALLY react to that). Morgan dumps Bayley right at Becky’s feet and the fight is on again. Damage CTRL and Becky brawl into the crowd and Zelina Vega is in at #21 (cosplaying as a character from Street Fighter 6 in a promotional deal).

Li and Vega strike it out on the apron until Vega kicks her to the floor. Vega’s middle rope Codebreaker hits Piper and Raquel Rodriguez is in at #22. A quick clothesline drops Ripley and a spinning slam hits Asuka. Vega is back up to kick away at Rodriguez, who puts her on the top. Michin is in at #23 and gets to fire off a bunch of kicks as a trend continues. Niven fights off a bunch of people trying to eliminate her and Lacey Evans is in at #24.

Evans’ slingshot Bronco Buster hits Morgan in the corner and a legsweep takes Stark down. Michelle McCool, in the front row, is in at #25 and gets to beat everyone up at once, including the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to Vega. McCool gets rid of Tamina and Indi Hartwell is in at #26. That goes nowhere so Sonya Deville is in at #7 and gets rid of Stark. Asuka and Deville kick away at each other until Evans cobra clutches Vega out. Shotzi is in at #28 with a high crossbody to Rodriguez and Niven. Deville eliminates Hartwell and Nikki Cross is in at #29.

Cross gets to beat up various people and she throws her jacket down for a bonus. With the ten second countdown not even starting, Nia Jax is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Ripley, Morgan, Asuka, Niven, Rodriguez, Michin, Evans, McCool, Deville, Shotzi, Cross and Jax. Everyone stops to wait for Jax, who, believe it or not, runs her mouth and fights everyone but Rodriguez off. Rodriguez gets thrown down but a bunch of people go after her, with Ripley….managing something close to the Riptide.

Everyone gets together to toss Jax and Rodriguez clotheslines Evans out. Asuka pulls Rodriguez into the armbar but Asuka moves on to kicking Deville off the apron for an elimination. Ripley gets rid of McCool and Michin eliminates Shotzi. Niven LAUNCHES Michin onto Shotzi to get us down to six, with Niven belly to back suplexing Rodriguez. For some reason Niven goes up, allowing Rodriguez to kick her out as Ripley gets the Iron Woman record.

The Tejana Bomb to Ripley is countered, with Ripley tossing Rodriguez and then sending both Asuka and Cross to the apron. Morgan knocks out Cross and we’re down to Ripley, Morgan and Asuka. Ripley is sent to the apron but headbutts Morgan and pulls her out to the apron with her. Asuka joins them and mists Morgan, allowing Ripley to kick Asuka out. Morgan Codebreakers Ripley down but she hangs on and pulls Morgan out for the win at 1:01:08 (earning the Stick Stickly seal of approval).

Rating: C. I ran out of ways to say “and then this wrestler came in and they beat a bunch of people up and then nothing happened and then someone else came in.” The double Iron Women thing didn’t do much as Ripley was doing her thing here and there while Morgan was barely around. The Women’s Rumble has a tendency to be rather top heavy and that was the case here, with the Damage CTRL run, along with Becky and Ripley, being the only interesting part. It was the Ripley show and she was kind of laying around (as you tend to do in an hour long run) and that didn’t make for a good Rumble.

Hardy performs to kill some time.

We recap Kevin Owens challenging Roman Reigns for the World Title. This is much more about whether or not Sami Zayn is really part of the Bloodline or just their lackey. On the other hand, Reigns is sick and tired of Kevin Owens so it’s time to get rid of him once and for all. Zayn has insisted that he’s in the Bloodline, and even Jey Us, who never believed him, isn’t sure about Zayn anymore. Reigns has told Zayn’s final test is at the Royal Rumble, where he has to show whose side he is really on.

WWE Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and Sami Zayn, is defending. They circle each other to start until Reigns hits a quick clothesline. Back up and Owens scores with an elbow to the face before stomping away at Reigns in the corner. There’s the Cannonball as Zayn is starting to look worried at ringside. Reigns rolls outside and there’s the backsplash to crush him again. Back in and Reigns hits a release Rock Bottom for two, followed by the apron boot to the face for the same.

The chinlock goes on for a bit but Owens fights up and drops Reigns again. The frog splash gives Reigns two but he’s back with a sitout powerbomb. Back up and the Superman Punch gives Reigns two more, only to have Owens send the spear into the post. Owens hits the Swanton for another near fall but botches a springboard moonsault attempt. The second attempt misses, allowing Reigns to hit a spear for another near fall.

Naturally the referee gets bumped and more naturally, there is no one to count as Owens hits the Pop Up Powerbomb. Reigns goes low to cut Owens off again and tells Zayn to throw in a chair. That goes rather slowly, allowing Owens to come back with a Stunner or a rather near fall. Zayn is breathing a sigh of relief as Heyman glares at him and the two inside slowly get up.

Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a Superman Punch (that was cool) and another spear gets another two. Owens rolls outside where Zayn tells him to stay down, only to have Reigns spear Owens through the barricade. Rather than covering though, Reigns sends him head first into the steps, followed by another spear to retain at 19:13.

Rating: B-. It was a good, hard hitting fight but there was absolutely no drama as to the winner because we have been flat out told that this is all about Sami Zayn. Owens was trying, but he was just the designated challenger here and there was no way around it. Reigns could only make you believe he was in so much danger and it showed pretty badly. Not a bad match whatsoever, but the opening bell started the countdown to the spear.

Post match Reigns holds on on Zayn getting his lei, as instead he has the Usos destroy an already out of it Owens. The beating continues, including a chair being wrapped around Owens’ neck for the running Umaga attack from Solo Sikoa. Owens gets handcuffed to the ropes for some superkicks as the fans chant for Sami. Reigns grabs the chair and yells at Owens, but Zayn gets in between them, saying Owens is done.

Reigns thinks about it and then holds the chair out to Zayn, who doesn’t want to do it. Zayn: “I don’t want to.” Reigns: “I think you should.” Zayn takes the chair as Reigns shouts about how he loves Zayn while Owens keeps trying to hold him back. Does Zayn want to go do the Jackass stuff again? Zayn stands behind Reigns and slowly holds up the chair, with Reigns turning around and saying PULL THE TRIGGER. Reigns calls out Zayn for crying and shoves him in the face a few times, shouting that THIS IS MY WHOLE LIFE.

With that, Reigns turns to look at Owens again, and with the fans chanting for him, Zayn blasts Reigns in the back with the chair to one of the loudest pops you will ever hear. Jey Uso looks at Zayn and can’t believe what is going on but never touches him. Instead Jimmy superkicks Zayn down and destroys him, with Sikoa adding the Spike. Reigns tells Jey to get in on this but a broken Jey rolls to the floor and leaves without touching anyone. Reigns destroys Zayn with the chair and forearms tot he head, ripping the Honorary Uce shirt off of him to end the show.

I didn’t catch it live but as has been pointed out: that was the same way Seth Rollins turned on Reigns to end the Shield, which ties the whole story together. Reigns was so betrayed by the Shield that he turned to the only people he could trust, his family, to avoid it happening again but then the one person who wasn’t blood, turned on him. That is some top level storytelling and the fans reacted to it as a result. For wrestling, this was Shakespeare, and the tag match at Wrestlemania and then Jey siding with Jimmy was incredible, but they just couldn’t find a way to wrap it all up, at least within the next year.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, the Royal Ruble is one of the most unique shows of the year as it is built around two matches. The first Rumble was great and the second was…well not, but this year had a special bonus. The post main event angle was an instant classic and set things off for the next several months. The show is not great and the women’s Rumble is weak, along with the other non-Rumble matches, but the two good parts carry the show far enough.

Results
Cody Rhodes won the men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Gunther
Bray Wyatt b. LA Knight – Sister Abigail
Bianca Belair b. Alexa Bliss – KOD
Rhea Ripley won the women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Liv Morgan
Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Spear

 

Ratings Comparison

Men’s Royal Rumble:

Original: A-
2024 Redo: A-

LA Knight vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: D+
2024 Redo: D

Bianca Belair vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: C-
2024 Redo: C

Women’s Royal Ruble

Original: C
2024 Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Overall Rating:

Original: B
2024 Redo: B-

Yep, more or less the same as the original.

 

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This is a show that I remember liking at the time but aside from the ending to the Rumble itself, almost nothing springs to mind about the show. I’m curious to see what that means as this was kind of a weaker time for the company. Hopefully they can make this work, as the Rumble can be all over the place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of people saying they want to win the Royal Rumble and a voiceover asking who is going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Bryan is defending in a cage and Cole cannot stand him. Also Bryan is mad at Show for running over his girlfriend AJ Lee, though it isn’t clear if it was a setup. Bryan gets sent into the corner to start, leaving Show to splash Henry against the cage. For some reason Bryan tries to kick at Show, who throws him against the cage for his efforts. The WMD hits cage, with Bryan dropkicking the leg out to take over.

Bryan kicks away at Henry as well but it’s way too early to escape the cage. Henry: “CLOSE THAT DOOR!” Bryan gets slingshotted into the cage but Show is back up with a superkick. That leaves Show to go after Bryan, with the big slow shots in the corner keeping Bryan down. Henry is back up to go after both of them as commentary discusses Bryan and AJ’s relationship.

Henry misses a charge into the cage and gets speared by Show to give Bryan two. Bryan’s tornado DDT plants Show (which has Lawler far too impressed) and the LeBell Lock goes on. Henry breaks that up but gets caught with the WMD. Bryan tries to escape and gets over, but Show grabs his hand. Show basically does some curls with Bryan, who eventually falls down to retain the title at 9:08.

Rating: C+. This was a nice story with Bryan having to escape from the two monsters who were basically playing with him. Bryan was still trying to get everything together at this point, as he certainly had the skill but he was making his transition into being a main event star. That took some time, mainly due to winning the title via the Money In The Bank briefcase, but that has been an issue with the concept for a long time. The match was entertaining though, even with Bryan almost retaining by accident.

Video on John Cena, who won’t change who he is, even as we hear from some fans who are on either side. We also see a bunch of his promotional work for WWE and my goodness the build to his match vs. Rock was outstanding. It makes me want to watch it again, so they’re doing something right.

Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina

Natalya headlocks Tamina down to start but it’s off to Eve for a dancing moonsault. Phoenix comes in and gets clotheslined down so Brie can come in for a chinlock. This lets commentary compare Twitter followers until Eve gets up for the tag off to Fox. The chinlock goes on again but Eve fights out and hands it off to Kelly. The screaming headscissors ensues and everything breaks down. Kelly gets beaten down on the floor and everyone joins in, allowing Kelly to get up top for a big dive onto the pile. Back in and Brie kicks Kelly in the face, allowing the Glam Slam to finish Kelly at 5:28.

Rating: D+. It’s a bad sign that the best thing you can say about a match is “at least it was short” but that’s about all this one had. The women’s division was not in a good place at this point, with Phoenix being one of the few bright spot. There were talented people in this match, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t get to do anything.

We recap Kane vs. John Cena, which has seen Kane being the unstoppable monster and wrecking Zack Ryder, who has come off like a total loser in the whole thing. Kane has left him in a wheelchair as well as the US Title, likely because Ryder got over on his own.

Ryder, in a wheelchair and a neck brace, arrives with girlfriend Eve Torres joining him. Johnny Ace is here too and mocks both of them a bit, with neither being impressed.

Kane vs. John Cena

Kane fires off the uppercuts to start but Cena is back up with a running clothesline. That’s enough to send them outside, with Cena whipping him knees first into the steps. Kane slugs him right back down inside and sends him into the corner, setting up a chinlock. The comeback is cut off with another uppercut and a bulldog attempt is casually shoved away.

A neck snap across the top rope doesn’t get Cena very far either, as Kane drops him again. The smother hold is countered into an STF, which is countered into a side slam to drop Cena again. The top rope clothesline connects and a big boot gives Kane two, meaning it’s frustration time. Kane’s superplex is broken up and it’s a super Five Knuckle Shuffle but the AA is broken up as well. They fight outside and that’s enough for a rather lame double countout at 10:57.

Rating: C-. This was a bad time for Cena, as he had the biggest match of his career coming up in a few months, but that didn’t leave him with much to do on the way there. That was on full display here, as this feud with Kane went on for a long time and never felt important in any way. Throw in the ending being about setting up a rematch and it was even worse.

Post match they brawl into the back with Kane being sent into various things. Kane comes back with a chair and breaks into Zack Ryder’s private room, knocks Ryder out, and kidnaps him. They go into the arena, where Kane Tombstones him, even with Eve Torres watching. Cue Cena for the save but Kane gives him a chokeslam and leaves everyone laying.

Video on The Rock, who is one of the world’s biggest movie stars. And he’s handsome. And charismatic. And did I mention a star?

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Clay dances to start, gets clotheslined in the corner, suplexes McIntyre and What The Funk finishes at 1:04. Sweet goodness him getting away from WWE was the absolute best thing he could have gone.

We recap CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the former’s Raw World Title. This is more about Punk vs. Johnny Ace, who Punk can’t stand for being such a miserable failure at everything. Ace caused Ziggler to pin Punk to earn the title shot and made himself guest referee. He’s guaranteed that he’s going to screw Punk over, which has officially put him UNDER REVIEW, which has him backpedaling. Oh and Ziggler is here too. The last part of the video features Ziggler saying not to forget him. It’s not a great look but here we are.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler, with Vickie Guerrero, is challenging and Johnny Ace is guest referee. Hold on though as Ace says he’ll be the outside referee with a regular referee in the ring. Actually hold on again as Ace tosses Vickie, which follows a previously established stipulation. The threat of a GTS has Ziggler worried to start so Punk knocks him into the corner. Punk grabs an abdominal stretch and hammers on the ribs before sending him outside.

The dive misses though and Ziggler takes over back inside, including the jumping elbows. The sleeper goes on for a bit before the running Fameasser is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Punk hits a running neckbreaker but Ziggler reverses a high crossbody into a rollup for two. The top rope elbow gets two more but the referee gets bumped, which you knew was coming.

Punk grabs the Anaconda Vice for the tap, though Ace is checking on the referee. A rollup gets the same treatment so Punk goes after Ace, only for Ziggler to knock Punk into Ace. The GTS connects but Ace still won’t count, saying Punk jumped him on purpose. Another GTS is countered into a Fameasser (that was great) for two and they’re both down. Back up and Punk hits a second GTS for the pin, with both referees counting the three at 14:32.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together, though Ace being boring and unfair was quite the negative. The whole feud was built around the idea that Ace wasn’t interesting and they made that quite clear here. It was a good match, which shouldn’t be a surprise, but just drop the Ace stuff already.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars
1 winner
31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble
21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania
695 entrants who have been eliminated
39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)
13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show
421,883 people who have attended the Rumble
62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record
3 wins for Austin
1 second that Santino lasted in 2009
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each
27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four
55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals. Miz is in at #1 and Alex Riley (Miz’s former goon) is in at #2. They stare at each other to start and Riley goes after him but misses a charge. Miz stomps him down to start and gets the pretty easy elimination. R-Truth is in at #3 and hammers away, including a kind of powerslam. That’s enough to throw Miz to the apron but not out as Cody Rhodes is in at #4.

A Beautiful Disaster hits R-Truth and the double teaming is on, with R-Truth getting knocked down into the corner. Justin Gabriel is in at #5 and goes after Rhodes as the four of them pair off. We get a pair of brawls in the corner until Primo is in at #6 to continue a not so star studded start. R-Truth hits the running forearm on Rhodes but gets tossed by Miz, who goes to the floor (under the bottom rope) to go after him. That means a Little Jimmy to drop Miz on the floor while the other three are still inside. Mick Foley is in at #7 and tosses Primo before continuing the brawling.

Ricardo Rodriguez is in at #8, complete with Alberto Del Rio’s music, gear, and…that’s about it, as he drives out in a banged up car (bad paint, ugly seat covers, trash bag for a window) and isn’t in the best condition. Naturally the fans love him, even as Foley drops him with a right hand. Foley and Rodriguez actually get together to eliminate Gabriel and it’s Santino Marella in #9. Marella starts in with his usual and gets rid of Rodriguez. That leaves Marella vs. Foley so yes we do indeed get the Cobra vs. Mr. Socko showdown, with the expected reaction of the crowd going bananas.

Epico is in at #10 and is quickly tossed, leaving us with Miz, Rhodes, Foley and Marella. Rhodes gets up to toss Marella so it’s Socko to Miz, only for Rhodes to toss Foley as well. Kofi Kingston is in at #11, giving us quite the talented three way. Kingston takes over and hits a double Boom Drop but the numbers catch up with him in a hurry. Jerry Lawler is in at #12 (Booker is shocked and Cole is stunned) and ducks Miz’s left hand, which hits Rhodes by mistake. Lawler gets in his usual offense and goes up, only for Rhodes to knock him out.

Ezekiel Jackson is in at #13 as Booker praises Lawler, who has returned to commentary. Jackson gets to clean house and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #14. The entrance takes forever as Mahal has to get out of his gear before going after Jackson. Great Khali is in at #15 and gets rid of Jackson and Mahal without much trouble. Hunico (with Camacho and the gold bicycle) is in at #16 and does about as much as you would expect.

Booker T. is in at #17 and Cole absolutely loses it (You know where this is going, though neither Cole nor Lawler noticed that Booker wasn’t wearing pants?) as the fans go nuts. Miz throws Kingston over the top but Kingston skins the cat to stay alive. Kingston gets shoved out anyway….but LANDS ON HIS HANDS AND WALKS BACKWARDS TO THE STEPS in one of the most ridiculously awesome saved you’ll ever see. Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) is in at #18 as things start to slow down a bit.

Jim Duggan is in at #19 and the fans are rather happy to see him. As you might expect, Duggan certainly brings the energy as he throws those big right hands, only to get knocked out by Rhodes. Ziggler and Rhodes get rid of Booker and Khali at the same time and it’s Michael Cole in at #20 (you knew it was coming and the fan behind him freaking out makes it even better). His entrance takes forever and it’s the returning Kharma (Awesome Kong) in at #21 to immediately drop Cole (Booker and Lawler love it).

That’s enough to send Cole out to the apron, where Booker and Lawler pull him out for good. Kharma goes after Ziggler with a lifting Pedigree but has to stop for some yelling at Vickie. Hunico goes after Kharma but gets tossed, only for Ziggler to dump Kharma out. Sheamus is in at #22 as we have Sheamus, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Ziggler. Sheamus dumps Kingston and fires off the forearms to Miz and Rhodes.

Road Dogg is in at #23 and the fans go nuts all over again (even Cole is happy). Dogg gets in his usual dancing punches until things slow down and it’s Jey Uso in at #24. That means some dancing punches of his own until US Champion Jack Swagger is in at #25. The brawling continues on the ropes and it’s Wade Barrett in at #26. Barrett dumps Dogg to clear the ring a bit and it’s David Otunga in at #27 to clutter it right back up.

Randy Orton (hometown star) is in at #28 and goes right after Barrett, who put him on the shelf for a month. Uso is out and Rhodes and Ziggler get taken down with a double hanging DDT, followed by an RKO to Barrett for the elimination. Chris Jericho is in at #29 and tosses Otunga before things slow down a bit. Big Show is in at #30, giving us a final group of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Swagger, Orton, Jericho and Show (not too shabby). Swagger is out before Show even gets in and gets WMD’d to make it even worse.

Show gets inside and tosses Miz, Rhodes and Ziggler in short order to get us down to four in a hurry. Jericho gets knocked down and it’s an RKO to Show, which doesn’t seem overly bright. Show gets up and Orton tosses him on his own, only to get dumped by Jericho to leave us with Jericho vs. Sheamus (quite the odd pairing). Jericho’s bulldog is countered but he’s right back with a dropkick.

Sheamus is sent out to the apron but hooks his leg around the ropes to survive. He’s able to get back inside, where Jericho catches him in a quick Walls. That’s broken up as well and Jericho gets sent to the apron, where he manages to get back inside as well. They both almost wind up crashing to the floor before getting inside just in time. A Codebreaker drops Sheamus, who is right back with a missed Brogue Kick. Jericho can’t hit the Codebreaker though and gets sent to the apron, where a Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the win at 55:25.

Rating: B. The ending alone here was rather good, with the drama of Jericho and Sheamus being worth a look. At the same time, this Rumble was heavy on the comedy, with the commentary entrances, plus Socko vs. the Cobra. It did have some good moments in between though and I had a good time watching this one back. I remembered liking it well enough back in the day and it was nice to see it live up to the hype.

Pyro and sign pointing take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. The Raw World Title and Rumble are the only things worth seeing here, unless you want to see Bryan in way over his head against some monsters. The problem here is the same as it always was around this time: with John Cena vs. the Rock looming at Wrestlemania, nothing else felt important. They do get some credit for trying something new with Sheamus though, as even though he was a former World Champion, winning the Rumble was a different level. Good enough show, but the Rumble carried the thing.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We’re getting close to the end of the run here with only three shows left. Tonight we’ve got the Rumble of course along with Undertaker defending against Mysterio and Sheamus defending against Orton. I remember really liking this one as the new generation had arrived and was rising up the card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Christian is defending and man that ECW ring announcer has an annoying voice. Regal is with Jackson here. According to Striker, Jackson went to Columbia Law School. Now there’s a factoid that fell through the cracks. Jackson shoves Christian into the corner and then does it again into the ropes so the champion slaps him in the face. After a brief chase, Christian dropkicks Jackson out to the floor.

The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.

A vertical suplex gets two for Big Zeke and it’s time for more choking. A sunset flip is easily blocked by Jackson and it’s back to the chinlock. Striker tries to figure out what a peep is, as he knows it as a something made of chocolate. Some shots to the face get Christian out of trouble for awhile, or at least until a clothesline to the back of the head gets two.

Jackson hooks both of Christian’s arms back for another hold before putting the champion on top. The superplex is blocked and Christian hits a top rope back elbow for two (LOVE that move). Jackson’s big clothesline misses and a middle rope dropkick gets two for the champion. A spinwheel kick gets two on Jackson but a swan dive misses and gives Zeke a near fall as does a backbreaker.

The tornado DDT gets ANOTHER two for Christian so Jackson takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to a sleeper from Christian when the Killswitch doesn’t work but Jackson counters into a powerslam position to ram Christian’s back into the buckle. Christian slides down Jackson’s back and grabs the Killswitch out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. Trim two minutes out of this and it goes WAY up in quality. The period of near falls went on too long without getting any significant heat from the crowd. Jackson would get the title in a little over two weeks on the final episode of ECW because if there’s one man that should be the final ECW Champion, it’s a musclehead that could barely get through a five minute match most of the time.

Cryme Tyme come in to try to get a second spot in the Rumble from Teddy and Tiffany. Khali says “no dice homeslice” to selling their spot because he’s keeping it real. Apparently he’s learned his English from Family Matters (Singh’s words, not mine). Ok then. Anyway US Champion the Miz comes in and laughs which causes him to have to defend against MVP.

Orton is in the back when Cody Rhodes comes in. He’s there for Randy in the title match tonight but that’s not all. Apparently DiBiase isn’t in on this because his mind is on winning the Rumble and taking the title from Orton.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

A quick clothesline gets two for MVP and he works on the champ’s ribs to start. Miz gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down but MVP comes right back with a belly to back suplex for two. They head to the floor for this gem from Striker: “Miz is one of the most recognizable faces on this planet.” I don’t think Miz is one of the most recognizable faces in this match.

Back in and Miz sends MVP to the apron and gets kicked into the table on the floor. Not that this is treated like anything of note because the announcers are laughing about Sherri Shepard from The View. Miz sends shoulders into MVP’s ribs in the corner followed by the running corner clothesline. A top rope double ax gets two for Miz and we hit the chinlock.

After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.

Rating: D+. If there was a reason for this to be on PPV other than the show was running short, I don’t know what it was. Miz didn’t look like anything special out there but somehow he would be world champion a year later. MVP on the other hand would be out of the WWE but he did well enough in Japan. Nothing to see here other than a filler match.

Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.

Show and Jericho, the former tag team champions, run into each other. Show accuses him of being jealous of the chemistry Show and Miz have but Jericho brushes it off. He calls the crowd gelatinous worms before pointing out all of the similarities he and Miz have. Show says he’ll throw both Miz and Jericho out to win the Rumble. R-Truth pops up and says he’ll do the same. Show leaves Jericho standing there much to Jericho’s chagrin.

DiBiase wishes Orton luck and says he’s got Randy’s back. Orton asks where Cody is but DiBiase doesn’t know. This was during the time when Legacy was about to die and both members were trying to get on Randy’s best side. DiBiase claims that Rhodes only wants to win the Rumble but Orton has heard enough. He doesn’t want anyone’s help and gets a clear face pop in response.

The National Guard is here.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Sheamus won the title in a shocker last month at TLC and is heel here. He’s also still not that good and wouldn’t really hit his stride for about a year and a half. They stare at each other to start and my goodness is Sheamus pale. A dropkick puts the champion down but he comes right back with a running ax handle. Sheamus gets in a shot to the arm and we head to the floor where said arm is sent into the steps.

Back in and Orton goes for the knee and things slow down a bit. Orton wouldn’t really pick up the pace of his offense until about the following year which made his matches pretty hard to sit through. Sheamus comes back by sending Orton’s shoulder into the post twice and hitting some shoulder blocks in the corner. That gets him nowhere though as Orton takes out the knee again and knocks Sheamus to the floor.

They head inside again and yet AGAIN momentum shifts back to Sheamus as he hits a DDT on the arm for two. Off to an armbar for a bit before they slug it out to the boo/yay chants. Orton wins the slugout but walks into the Irish Curse for two. The High Cross is escaped and Orton kicks Sheamus in the head to send him to the outside. Orton gets ready for the RKO but Rhodes jumps the guardrail and blasts Sheamus in the back before running away. The referee sees it though and despite Orton hitting the RKO, he’s disqualified and Sheamus keeps the title. Lame ending to a pretty lame match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, Sheamus just wasn’t very good yet. He was still this big imposing brawler who pounded on people and that’s about it. There was indeed a story in the match but it wasn’t a very entertaining one as they just kept beating on each other’s limbs but when there’s no difference because of the beating, the story doesn’t work. The ending didn’t help either but it did set up something in the future.

Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool. This was an awkward feud as Mickie won the title shot in a triple threat and then Laycool made fun of Mickie for being fat. This is of course odd as Mickie is a professional athlete and gorgeous and would only be called fat by a crazy person. It’s also pretty disturbing when you consider how WWE pushes the Divas as role models. The final bit of it was a segment where Mickie got beaten down and covered in food.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

Post match the other Divas bring out a cake and smash it into Laycool’s faces.

We recap Mysterio vs. Undertaker. Rey won the shot by slamming a cage door onto Batista’s head to escape because that’s what heroes do. Taker said he’ll show no mercy on Mysterio so Rey uses the same line everyone does on Taker: he isn’t afraid. Batista beat up Mysterio as well, claiming that Undertaker and the world title was his.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.

Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.

Shawn is watching in the back when Kane comes in and says Shawn’s obsession with Taker is unhealthy. This is KANE calling something unhealthy. He warns Shawn to cool it with Taker because it won’t end well. Kane leaves and HHH comes in. Shawn apologizes for whatever happened on Raw which apparently isn’t important enough to specify. HHH agrees Shawn vs. Taker is meant to be, but it won’t be by wining the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers time:

23 Winners

627 entrants eliminated

36 eliminations by Austin

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001

2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta

62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006

2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year

3 wins for Austin

2 win for #1, the same as #30

70% of the winners win at Mania

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is #1 and Evan Bourne is #2. Bourne snaps off a headscissors to start and follows up with a spinwheel kick to take Dolph down. Ziggler comes back with the Zig Zag but can’t throw Evan out. Bourne decks Ziggler and hits Air Bourne as CM Punk of the Straightedge Society is #3. He slams the other two guys’ heads together and dumps them out one after the other. Punk gets a mic and says that tonight is the greatest night in the history of the Straightedge Society. These two are just the first of 29 men who will challenge him, but they can be saved.

The clock starts running down, so Punk gives us the line of the night: “Excuse me, it’s clobberin time.” JTG is #4 and after a few clotheslines, he poses like an idiot in the corner and gets dumped. Punk gets the mic again and says that not everyone can be saved because they don’t have his dedication. Great Khali is #5 and Punk immediately says he can make Khali greater by saving him. He asks Khali to raise his hand for the Straightedge Pledge but Khali lowers the hand onto Punk’s head for the chop.

There’s the Khali Vice and in less than 90 seconds, Beth Phoenix of all people is #6. She stares down Khali and gets picked up and placed on the apron. Beth kisses Khali but in the process pulls him over the top to eliminate him. Phoenix gets back in and BEATS UP PUNK, only to get caught in a GTS to the chest. Would that really knock her out? Before she’s dumped out, here’s Zack Ryder at #7.

As Ryder gets in, Punk grabs the mic and says Zack has potential. PREACH IT BROTHER! Punk starts offering him a spot but his Ryder with the mic before he gets done with it. The fans are going nuts for Punk now and there goes Ryder. Punk talks about how great he is and wants to know who is next, but whoever it is, they’re inferior to Punk. In at #8 is HHH as we enter the second segment of the Rumble.

They stare each other down and HHH starts punching. The facebuster has Punk staggered and a spinebuster puts him down as Drew McIntyre is #9. That gives us a tag champion in HHH and the IC Champion in Drew at the moment. HHH is looking a bit flabby here. He hits the high knee on McIntyre and escapes the GTS to eliminate Punk. DiBiase is #10 as we’re flying through this.

HHH gets double teamed down in the corner until John Morrison, the guy that lost the title to McIntyre, is #11. He takes both heels down and pounds away on them before hitting a jumping DDT on Drew. Starship Pain almost completely misses Drew and HHH clotheslines John down. Kane is #12 and comes in with the top rope clothesline to HHH. There’s a double chokeslam to McIntyre and Morrison before Kane tries to dump DiBiase.

Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.

Carlito is #15 and the ring is starting to get full. There’s a Backstabber to HHH and one for Drew and Ted as well. Miz is #16 and hits a quick Finale on Carlito. Cue MVP to clothesline Miz out and eliminate himself in the process. Matt Hardy is #17 and lasts about 20 seconds before Kane puts him out. HHH immediately dumps Kane too and the ring is a lot more empty all of a sudden.

HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.

Shelton Benjamin in that stupid gold period is #20. He hits Paydirt on both guys but gets dumped by Cena in less than 50 seconds. Yoshi Tatsu is #21 and doesn’t even make it 30 seconds. Big Show is #22 and Cena is shaken. Big Show RUNS down to the ring and house is cleaned. Shawn and Cena try to eliminate each other but Show pulls Shawn back in for some reason. What’s up with that tonight?

Mark Henry is #23 and we get a quick battle of the giant. Who would think those two would have a world title feud a year and a half later and be REALLY popular? Henry slams Show and falls on Cena as he tries an AA. Show spears Henry down and Chris Masters is #24. Masters tries the Masterlock on Show and gets dumped for his efforts. Now Henry goes after Show but Shawn breaks it up for some reason. R-Truth is #25 and actually dumps BOTH big guys. There’s something you wouldn’t expect.

Truth hits a Stroke on Cena and Jack Swagger is #26. All three guys get Vader Bombs and Swagger goes old school with a very slow Oklahoma Stampede. Jack knocks Michaels to the apron but can’t get the elimination. Kingston is #27 and cleans house on Swagger, hitting the Boom Drop and dumping him out with a nice leverage move. Truth puts Kofi on the apron but gets pulled out by a reverse headscissors.

Jericho is #28 but after cleaning about half the house, Cena grabs an AA to put him down. Shawn adds the top rope elbow and tunes up the band but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to take him out. Cena dumps Kofi but walks into a Codebreaker. Everyone is down and EDGE makes his big return at #29. That’s rather brilliant instead of waiting for the big surprise at #30, we get a SWERVE that actually makes sense.

Everyone gets a spear and Jericho is out. Edge is back about six months early and it’s Edge-O-Matics all around. Batista is #30, giving us a final four of Shawn, Cena, Edge and Batista. Not bad at all. It’s power all around but Edge spears him down. Everyone is down now Shawn gets up first and hits the forearm on Cena followed by the nipup.

Shawn slams every American in sight and drops the top rope elbow on Cena. Batista takes one too as Edge is still down in the corner. Sweet Chin Music hits Cena and there’s one for Batista as well. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and Michaels superkicks Edge back in, only to get knocked out by Batista. The crowd gasps HUGE at that and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn gets back in and superkicks the referee to vent some frustration. Shawn FINALLY leaves and Cena escapes the Batista Bomb before dumping Batista out. Edge misses the spear but throws out Cena a second later to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is kind of a hard one to grade. They definitely followed the three act structure which helped a lot and the match was VERY fast paced. I mean, the longest anyone was in there was Cena and he barely broke 20 minutes. The problem with that is it doesn’t give anything time to develop. The main story was Shawn which is fine and he would get to Mania at the end of the day anyway. It’s a really fun Rumble but not one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is very solid and the rest has nothing terrible so we’ll call it a good show overall. Things would get a lot more interesting soon after this with the rise of the Nexus and a very solid Wrestlemania. This was also a time of transition for the company as a lot of the guys in this show would be gone by the end of the year. Anyway good show here and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Miz vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/29/royal-rumble-count-up-2010-one-of-the-best-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 2010
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The previous week’s show is the famous one with the return of Bret Hart but someone wanted to see how the follow up went. That’s a rather interesting way to go and I’m curious to look back at what happened. In this case we have the build to the Royal Rumble, with only a few weeks left before the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence. Let’s burn it to the ground.

Here is guest host (oh yeah that’s a thing) Mike Tyson to get things going. Tyson is glad to be back and of course we flash back to the legendary moment with Steve Austin in 1998. Back in the arena, here is World Champion Sheamus to interrupt. Sheamus doesn’t like all the praise that Tyson is getting and calls him a washed up former champion. Tyson teases getting physical and Sheamus backs up.

Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, saying he isn’t interested in making a SportsCenter moment, but he does want the WWE Championship. He wants to face Sheamus at the Royal Rumble, but here is John Cena to interrupt. Sheamus asks why Cena is here and it’s…well he wants to meet Mike Tyson! Cena talks about having beaten everyone here, including Tyson…..in Punch Out! And yes we get a King Hippo reference.

Cena wants a title shot but here is Kofi Kingston to interrupt. Orton isn’t sure why he’s here, as he beat Kingston last week. Kingston points out that he has never gotten a title shot (somehow true) and he won’t take no for an answer. Sheamus says Tyson got long stretches between his title defenses so he wants the Royal Rumble off.

Tyson says unlike Sheamus, he never ducked a fight in his life. Instead Tyson makes a triple threat for the title shot later tonight, with Cena saying it’s him against Bald Bull and Von Kaiser for a shot at Soda Popinski. The fact that he didn’t refer to Orton, who is BALD, as Bald Bull, takes some points away but the Punch Out references were funny.

Divas Title Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly

Melina is injured so the title is vacant. Fox knees her in the chest to start and we’re already in the chinlock. Kelly gets up and knocks her out to the floor for a clothesline from the apron. The rather screamy headscissors drops Fox but she counters the hurricanrana into a powerbomb (nasty one too) for the pin to advance. This was a good example of women not getting the chance to do anything other than a few quick moves.

John Cena was the Grand Marshall of the Fiesta Bowl.  Apparently he’s a great guy.

Here is Legacy for a chat before their match. Last year they were in the final four of the Royal Rumble and Cody Rhodes thinks it’s his turn to win the Royal Rumble. DiBiase talks about being a movie star with the Marine 2 being better than the original in every way. Rhodes says a video of him in fifth grade is better than the Marine so it doesn’t prove much. They both think they’re going to win the Royal Rumble. The fact that Rhodes would is kind of astounding.

Legacy vs. Mark Henry/Evan Bourne

Bourne hurricanranas DiBiase to start fast but gets sent crashing out to the floor. Rhodes gets in a cheap shot by sending him into the barricade and the chinlock goes on back inside. It’s off to Rhodes for a knee drop as commentary ignores the boring match to talk about the Rumble, with Lawler actually giving some straight insight for a change. Bourne fights up and brings in Henry (who is huge here, even by his standards). DiBiase breaks up Air Bourne and Henry gets low bridged to the floor, meaning it’s Cross Rhodes to finish Bourne.

Rating: C. This was a bad time for Henry’s career as he was just doing nothing for such a long stretch. He was given random partners like Bourne and it was clear that there was no long term plan for him. It didn’t help that he was so big, but once he slimmed down a bit and started being a monster (which took some time), it was a lot better. As for the match, it was little more than a squash, with Bourne not being able to do much against the rapidly improving Legacy.

D-Generation X is in the back, with Shawn Michaels saying he’s ok with making peace with Bret Hart last week, but Mike Tyson is a different story. That being said, he’s seen Tyson’s documentary and he thinks Tyson is a changed man. Now he’s going to prove it.

Post break, Michaels goes to see Tyson and forgives him for the WrestleMania XIV knockout. Tyson doesn’t need his forgiveness and is willing to do it again. Chris Jericho comes in and apparently he and Tyson are friends so tonight it’s Jericho/Tyson vs. DX and if Jericho wins, he can stay on Raw (or anywhere he likes). Michaels is ready for revenge. Right.

We look back at Bret Hart’s return to Raw last week, with Hart’s “Well, I guess h*** froze over” summing it up perfectly. He and Vince McMahon are still having issues though, including McMahon kicking him low.

Here is Jack Swagger, who says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Tonight, he wants an Over The Top match and it’s open challenge time.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

You throw your opponent over the top to win and Marella is ready to drop Swagger like a bicycle with no kickstand. Marella strikes away and gets driven into the corner, followed by a takedown. Swagger goes to toss him but of course gets eliminated in less than a minute.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena

For the Royal Rumble title shot against Sheamus. Cena and Kingston form a slightly awkward alliance to start, with a double suplex dropping Orton. A release fisherman’s suplex does it again and a double back elbow drops Orton as well. That leaves us with Cena vs. Kingston (who somehow never had a singles match) as Sheamus comes out to watch. Orton sneaks back in to break that up and we take a break.

We come back with Orton chinlocking Kingston (shocking I know) before switching over to Cena for the hanging DDT. Orton gives Kingston the backbreaker but gets bulldogged by Cena, which Cole says is him “rolling”. The STF has Kingston in trouble until Orton makes a quick save. Trouble In Paradise sends Cena outside, where Cody Rhodes runs out to send him into the steps. The distraction lets Ted DiBiase deck Kingston and the RKO sends Orton to the Rumble.

Rating: B-. Pretty standard match here and that’s a perfectly fine way to go. If nothing else, it was interesting to see Cena vs. Kingston, though Orton winning makes the most sense. Sheamus needs some wins to establish himself as champion and beating Orton is almost a merit badge. You certainly don’t want to do the Edge thing from 2006 again so this makes sense.

Mike Tyson is asked about his match against DX, when DX member Hornswoggle interrupts. Tyson threatens to do various violent things to Hornswoggle, including reaching into his head, pulling out his brain, putting it into a newspaper and smashing it like Silly Putty. Well that sounds uncalled for.

We look back at MVP wanting the Miz’s US Title.

Miz is standing outside of the locker room and talks about being thrown out when he ate some chicken over a wrestler’s bag. For six months he had to change and shower elsewhere while people like JBL made fun of him. Now he has his own locker room, while people like MVP have to dress with everyone else. He heads into the arena and says MVP doesn’t deserve to be in this ring, because MVP should be in jail.

Miz would rather the fans boo him for being something he is than cheer him for something he isn’t. MVP comes out here with his diamonds but even if you put diamonds on a dog, it’s still a mutt. Or it’s Diamond Dog from Con Air. Miz hits the catchphrase but here is MVP to say he has never hidden from his past, but rather he embraces it. Yes he is proud of his ability to earn the finer things in life, just like he is proud to win the respect of these fans. He is no mutt but asks Miz to stand there for a moment and suck.

The jacket comes off and MVP talks about his time in a Florida prison. Their real worlds are worlds apart so open up his cage and see how tame this tiger really is. Miz teases swinging and gets beaten down in a hurry. Pretty awesome stuff here, with Miz’s promo being great but MVP brought the fire when he got his chance.

We look at last year’s Hall Of Fame induction ceremony, headlined by Steve Austin.

We look back at Mike Tyson knocking out Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XIV.

Divas Title Tournament First Round: Eve Torres vs. Katie Lea Burchill

Maryse (facing the winner in the second round) is on commentary and thinks Miz is in love with her (she’s smart). Burchill grabs an early chinlock and a backbreaker but Lawler would rather talk about how nice Maryse smells. Another backbreaker gets two on Torres…and she rolls Burchill up for the pin. This was nothing.

Carlito hits on Gail Kim but they’re shut down by a ticked off Vince McMahon.

Royal Rumble rundown. All one match.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. Apparently Bret Hart isn’t here due to fear, because McMahon never gives up. Hart is never going to be seen here again because he isn’t getting closure. The end. Lawler: “Is that it?”

D-Generation X vs. Mike Tyson/Chris Jericho

DX’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Before the match, Michaels says he wants an answer from Undertaker about the Wrestlemania rematch. Tyson and Michaels start things off with Tyson hitting a shoulder, meaning it’s off to HHH. They trade some shoves, with Tyson sending him into the corner and it’s off to Jericho to stomp away.

The jumping knee gets HHH out of trouble and it’s back to Michaels for two off a sunset flip. Jericho is back with the jumping enziguri and Tyson comes back in…as we have Hornswoggle in boxing gear. That brings Jericho back in…and Tyson reveals the DX shirt that you knew was coming. Tyson knocks Jericho out and Michaels gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was harmless fun and that’s not a bad thing. Jericho getting caught when he thought he was all brilliant and ahead of DX was a great moment and it all worked well. I had fun with this one and the whole thing wound up being rather entertaining. It was barely a match, but it wasn’t supposed to be anything else.

A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The promos carried this show as there certainly wasn’t much in the way of wrestling. Honestly there wasn’t much in the way of anything and that made for a pretty mediocre show. I liked the Tyson “swerve” at the end and the Miz/MVP promo was good, but there’s a reason this isn’t the most fondly remembered time in company history. The show was ok, but that’s about it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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