Survivor Series Count-Up – 2015: That Stupid Briefcase

Survivor Series 2015
Date: November 22, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 14,481
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Now this is an interesting one as I barely remember anything about it from just a year ago. The big story here is the World Title having to be decided in a tournament as Seth Rollins destroyed his knee and is out for a LONG time. Other than that, the big match is the Undertaker teaming with Kane against the Wyatt Family to celebrate 25 years since his debut with the company. Let’s get to it.

Oh and before we get going: ISIS was allegedly targeting this show for a terrorist attack. Nothing would come of the rumors but it got quite a bit of attention.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas

The Cosmic Wasteland was a short lived mini stable comprised of Stardust and the Ascension. Goldust is a mystery partner, making his return after several months off due to a shoulder injury, to freak Stardust out. The brothers start things off but a right hand means it’s off to Viktor, who is powerslammed and pinned in about thirty seconds. I’d bet on that being an injury.

Titus and Konnor come in for the big power showdown, meaning a bunch of whips and slams which are supposed to mean more because they’re being done by bigger guys. D-Von gets a chant (for some reason) and a tag (because Titus wanted to come out), which means it’s time for What’s Up. The rest of the heels are sent outside for a big flip dive from Neville in a big crash.

Back from a break with Bubba Rock Bottoming Konnor for an elimination to make it 5-3. D-Von comes back in but gets beaten down to give the heels a little breather. A spinebuster drops Miz and that’s enough for the tag off to Neville for the quick kicks to the face. Dallas grabs a Bodog and a Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the pin on Neville to get us down to 4-3, only to have Goldust roll Miz up to get the fall back.

We come back from a second break with Dallas holding Goldust in a chinlock before it’s off to Stardust for some brotherly stomping. The chinlocks continue and the remaining bad guys charge at the three remaining on the apron in a rare good shot for the villains. Goldust shows he’s really back with a Code Red of all things, allowing the tag off to Titus. The Clash of the Titus gets rid of Bo and a 3D finishes Stardust at 18:10. I have no idea why the announcers were talking about Gilligan’s Island for the last two falls but I’d bet on some form of subtext.

Rating: D+. This came and went but it’s fine for a way to warm the crowd up. At the end of the day you have a lot of people on the roster and it makes sense to throw people together like this in a nothing match. It’s almost like part of the point of the series in the first place. There’s not much to the match but Goldust returning was a nice little surprise.

Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as a big middle finger to the terrorism charges. I actually liked this and she can sing the heck out of that song.

The opening video looks at the Undertaker because that’s really what this show is all about. The slow piano version of his theme is really cool. These recaps are actually really helpful because I had NO idea how we got to the Wyatts vs. the Brothers of Destruction. It turns out that they kidnapped Undertaker and Kane and now they’re fighting them because Bray and company are up there with Scooby-Doo villains when it comes to effectiveness. We also look at the tournament as an afterthought before going back to Undertaker and Kane.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio’s US Title isn’t on the line of course. What should be on the line is Roman’s career after the fans just erupt with boos during his entrance. Unfortunately this is also during the Zeb Colter period for Del Rio, which was just horrible on every level. They never clicked and there’s no way around that.

The booing turns into LET’S GO ROMAN/ROMAN SUCKS as Reigns hits a shoulder for the first offense. Alberto takes over outside but Roman hammers away back inside because he doesn’t have the strongest offense. The corner enziguri knocks Roman silly (that always looks great) and it’s time for the arm to go into the steps. We see HHH watching with a smile on his face after Reigns turned down a chance to be the Authority’s new protege because they’re still trying to redo Austin vs. McMahon.

A chinlock slows things down and Roman goes shoulder first into the post to make the arm even worse. The running clothesline drops Del Rio and Reigns’ good arm fires off the corner clotheslines. Del Rio gets in a Backstabber to take over again as this is going back and forth. They head to the corner so Del Rio can miss that still horribly stupid top rope double stomp and bang up his knee.

Not that it matters as it’s cross armbreaker into the rollup into the powerbomb but Roman can’t cover. Now the armbreaker goes on for a few seconds before Roman easily escapes (likely because it wasn’t on the arm Del Rio had worn down) and spears his way to the finals at 14:05.

Rating: B-. Standard Raw main event here and I don’t think anyone bought Del Rio was going to go to the finals. At the end of the day his main event run is LONG over at this point and there’s no reason to believe Reigns is going to be the first top level face in forever to submit to the armbreaker. The match was entertaining but really more of a way to kill time until the inevitable spear. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Ambrose praises Reigns for his win and Roman is happy to fight Dean for the title. That was pretty much the only possible ending to the tournament and everyone knew it when the brackets were revealed. Kevin Owens comes in after Ambrose leaves and thinks Reigns will screw up at the finish line all over again because Kevin himself will stop him.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Owens’ Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Kevin grabs a headlock as JBL goes into his ridiculous rant about how Ambrose can’t be the face of the company because he wouldn’t look good on the Tonight Show and on billboards as that’s pretty much just John Cena and John Cena alone.

Ambrose rakes Owens’ eyes across the top rope and slingshots out to the floor as the fans seem to be paying more attention to this one because there’s an actual chance either guy could win. It’s funny how that works. Dean gets crotched on the top and hit with the Cannonball (insert your Otto Wanz reference here because JBL has to use the same references every single time someone does a move), followed by a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so it’s the torture rack neckbreaker for another near fall. The two count means it’s time for some trash talking as only Owens can do. The fans are split again and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. We’re right back to the chinlock (Owens: “CHINLOCK CITY BABY!”) before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Kevin misses his moonsault (good looking one too) and the standing elbow gets two.

They head up top with Owens countering a superplex into that sweet swinging fisherman’s superplex. Owens: “COLE TELL HIM TO STAY DOWN!” That’s one thing I love about Owens: he does stuff that feels out of nowhere because he’s a bit off. A trip to the floor means something like a gutbuster onto the announcers’ table but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana and Dirty Deeds sends Dean to the finals at 11:20.

Rating: B. I liked the energy here as it felt like a back and forth match with Owens not being able to keep Dean down and Dean just trying to sneak in anything he could at any time. It also helps that you could see Owens getting the win instead of waiting around until he got speared. That can do wonders and it made for a better match here.

TLC 2015 ad. I still love that video game theme.

We look at Undertaker’s debut and the rest of his career. Of note in that debut match: Roddy Piper said if anyone can figure out Undertaker, Bret Hart could do it. Over their careers, Undertaker never pinned Bret Hart (save for one house show) in a singles match.

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Ryback, Usos, Lucha Dragons

Sheamus, King Barrett, New Day

There’s no real rhyme or reason to these teams so I picked two singles guys for the captains. Also I’m pretty sure this was a bonus match for the sake of filling in some time and, you know, it’s Survivor Series. Sheamus is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s also REALLY weird to see New Day as heels, though they’re definitely getting over as faces in a hurry. Atlanta native Xavier Woods has a rather impressive new hair style and Kofi brags about all the gold on their team. Sheamus: “And tonight, WE’RE GONNA GET JIGGY ON THESE POSERS!!! AM I RIGHT???” The silence is hilarious but Kofi turns it into NEW DAY ROCKS!

Jey and Woods get things going and Xavier’s wishes for untouched hair are quickly ignored. Kofi comes in and gets splashed by Cara (with an assist from the twins) before Sheamus comes in and gets sent outside. Actually all of the heels are sent outside for a quadruple dive, followed by Ryback diving onto all of them. I’m sure WWE stifled the creativity he really wanted to display with that dive though and his idea was shot down.

We reset to Barrett working on Jey’s ribs and the heels take over. Xavier busts out the trombone and dancing ensues with Barrett joining in for the GIF of the night. An enziguri is enough to set up the hot tag off to Jimmy for the house cleaning. The superkick sets up Cara’s Swanton Bomb to get rid of Barrett and make it 5-4.

It’s Kofi’s turn to get beaten up but he grabs Jimmy in a backbreaker, combined with a top rope double stomp from Woods to tie things up. Big E. spears Cara through the ropes and there’s the Brogue Kick for the elimination. That’s not cool with Big E. as he thinks Sheamus stole his pin (true) so Ryback jumps E. from behind, setting up the Superfly Splash to tie things up again. Actually let’s make that 3-1 as Kofi and Woods walk out, leaving Sheamus all by himself.

Sheamus slowly stomps on Kalisto and does the ten forearms. JBL: “It’s like a pub in Dublin!” Cole: “They have masked luchadors over there?” Jimmy comes back in for the running Umaga attack as Lawler talks about Doink. A few shots slow Ryback down but Jimmy kicks Sheamus into the Shell Shock for the pin at 17:33.

Rating: D+. So Sheamus just lost to an Uso, a Lucha Dragon and Ryback and we’re supposed to buy him as a future World Champion? I mean, I know they need to have him established as being in the building but can they really do nothing other than having him get pinned here? The match was fine but the energy died after New Day was gone. It’s almost like the whole “Sheamus isn’t interesting” thing is absolutely right.

We recap Team PCB (Remember them? Paige, Charlotte and Becky Lynch) splitting up with Paige turning on Charlotte, partially out of jealousy for Charlotte’s Divas Title.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and isn’t the most interesting face because heroines who are bigger, stronger and more athletic than most of their opponents aren’t really the best choices for the top of a division. Except Roman Reigns of course. He’s just that cool. We actually get Big Match Intros and Paige has blue highlights for a nice look.

Charlotte easily wrestles her down to the mat and the frustration is setting in. Some knees to the chest have Charlotte in trouble and Paige’s shouts get NOTHING from the crowd. Back in and we hit an abdominal stretch so she can shout about being the Divas Champion. A backpack Stunner gets the champ out of trouble and brings the match one step closer to a coma.

They trade kicks to the face and Paige escapes the Figure Four because it’s WAY too early for a submission. The hold wasn’t the right way to go so Charlotte puts her in an electric chair to drop Paige onto the apron. Back in and we hit the figure four neck lock so Charlotte can use those legs to torture her a bit. Charlotte goes shoulder first into the post, which Lawler thinks could be a game changer.

Paige grabs a crossface while bending Charlotte’s leg forward at the same time as this continues to go from spot to spot because there’s no real story. Like, they’re both doing fine and the match is entertaining but I have no reason to care about either one of them. It’s very TNA of them.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets Charlotte out of trouble and the bad looking spear sets up Natural Selection. There’s no cover though as it heads outside with Paige sending her into the barricade. Paige then poses on that said barricade and gets tackled off for a big crash, followed by the Figure Eight back inside to retain the title at 14:10.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but like I said, there was just nothing to get excited over. The story here was a team splitting up to set up the title match but that story doesn’t work because when no one cared about the team in the first place because they were thrown together for the sake of a lame story. Good wrestling, horrible storytelling.

Earlier tonight, Ambrose said everyone knew this was coming and he’ll fight his brother with no regrets. Reigns comes in to say he’ll bring it and they’re cool no matter what.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

Breeze debuted a few weeks ago (and lost his first match) and hooked up with Summer Rae, who had recently split with Ziggler, thereby setting up the mini feud. They trade laying on the top rope before Ziggler snaps off a dropkick. Breeze is knocked outside for the spot that would normally take us to a break in a TV match. I mean, this is a TV match but it’s on pay per view because it got bumped from the pre-show for the sake of time.

Back in and Breeze slowly hammers away before grabbing a weak half crab. Ziggler dropkicks him out of the air and hits some running clotheslines into the neckbreaker. To be fair, he does touch his knee before doing the big jumping elbow for two. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence before Tyler kicks him in the knee and hits an Unprettier for the pin at 6:31.

Rating: D. Cole tried to make this out to be a huge win but at the end of the day, it’s a win in a TV match disguised as a pay per view match against the guy that everyone beats. Breeze was dead in the water when he debuted on Smackdown and lost his first match because it was in the tournament against Ambrose. Hence why Breeze is where he is today. Ziggler is basically in the same spot he’s been in for years: hovering in the midcard and being the exact same thing, save for an occasional bump up thanks to an actual interesting character in the Miz.

We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. the Wyatts. Undertaker: “I’m creepy!” Bray: “I’m creepier than you!” Undertaker: “These young boys never learn.” Bray also kidnapped both of them….and then let them go because he’s weird that way.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

The entrances take FOREVER with Undertaker’s going even longer than usual, though it’s a pretty special occasion. Before the bell rings, Undertaker and Kane have to beat up Rowan to fulfill a contractual requirement of any Wyatt match. Kane and Harper start, basically missing the purpose of the entire feud. A basement dropkick floors Luke and it’s off to Undertaker for a nice reaction.

Cole declares Undertaker the greatest of all time as Luke’s arm is cranked. Old School is broken up as JBL does his stat/history reading designed to sound like casual conversation and, as usual, it’s horrible. Bray gets beaten up a little bit and NOW Old School connects. This time it’s JBL talking about Undertaker doing Old School for 25 years straight because we need to ignore shows he wasn’t at and times when he didn’t do the move. It’s off to Kane, who Strowman throws through the announcers’ table.

Somehow that’s not a DQ so it’s Bray taking over on Kane as we wait on the inevitable Undertaker hot tag. Sister Abigail is countered and the running DDT allows the aforementioned tag. Undertaker gets clotheslined to the floor where Strowman takes the double chokeslam through the other announcers’ table. Sister Abigail gets two on Undertaker, we get the double situp to break Bray’s spider walk and it’s the chokeslam into a Tombstone to finish Harper at 10:41.

Rating: D. They would have been better off having Undertaker just fight Harper on his own here as there was no doubt on the win and the Wyatts lost any credibility they might have had. I’m cool with Undertaker getting the big moment on the big stage and all that jazz because twenty five years to the day is an impressive day but this was really just a way to waste about twenty minutes and talk about how great Undertaker is.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

The title is vacant coming in. Dean wins the early slugout but is taken outside and whipped into the barricade. The fans are all over Reigns as Dean hits the suicide dive, followed by an armbar to follow up on the earlier match. Some powerbombs get two on Dean and the Superman Punch is good for the same. Dean’s rebound lariat doesn’t do much good as Reigns spears him down for two. It’s really not a good sign that we’re at the first kickout of a finisher five minutes into a pay per view main event.

Another spear is blocked by a boot before the shirt spear is sent shoulder first into the post. Dirty Deeds gets two more and most of the crowd doesn’t seem to care, mainly because they’re hip to the trading finishers concept. They start slugging it out while sitting on the mat with Dean getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner….before he gets speared for the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that? Reigns just pins him in nine minutes to win the title? There’s little drama, no surprise as everyone knew he was going to get the title here and barely any time for the match because all these other things needed to go so much longer. Reigns is a legitimate champion after beating four people to get the title but my goodness this was disappointing.

They take their sweet time celebrating as confetti falls….and here’s HHH. The boss offers a handshake and gets speared down, which Cole calls the most important moment in Reigns’ career. Cue Sheamus and the title match is on.

WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Brogue Kick gets two, second Brogue Kick makes Sheamus champion at 34 seconds. Where did Dean go while this was happening?

The heels celebrate and Reigns looks like he’s about to cry to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I remember liking this at first but sweet goodness this does not hold up. So there’s a tournament with the most obvious final ever and the most obvious winner ever and then “oh wait never mind because Sheamus cashes in because Money in the Bank ruins everything). The semifinal matches were fine for big time Raw main events but that’s not what people remember and/or care about. This show was about Reigns winning the title and then they screw that over for the “surprise” ending.

What’s even worse is where this would go. Reigns would go into Superman mode and win the title twenty two days later when he beat Sheamus on Raw, making this a huge waste of time and two cheap title reigns in a row. Sheamus is not a main event talent and this does more harm to Reigns than good. Just have Reigns fend off the cash-in attempt and hold the title until the HHH win in the Royal Rumble. Everything winds up the same and you don’t have the lame story and lame ending to this show.

Other than the World Title scene, we have the mess that is the rest of the card. The only other thing that matters here is the Undertaker match, which was a cool moment with the setup but a really bad match and another moment with the Wyatts losing for the sake of giving Undertaker another big win. The women’s match was fine albeit ice cold, the Survivor Series match had no story and was just a way to have New Day be funny and Breeze vs. Ziggler was advertised and therefore had to take place.

Now to be fair, they had to change A TON of stuff for the sake of the tournament and that’s not on them. What is on them is going with the “surprise” factor over logical storytelling. Sheamus is a multiple time World Champion and a Money in the Bank winner but that doesn’t mean he’s someone people want to see on top of the card at this point. If they want Reigns to be a top star, they need to let him be a top star. A five minute title reign after a bad match isn’t the way to go about that.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas

Original: C

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

Redo: B

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Original: C

Redo: D+

Paige vs. Charlotte

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brothers of Destruction vs. Wyatt Family

Original: D+

Redo: D

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

I was WAY too kind to this one the first time around. The last hour and a half is dreadful.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/22/survivor-series-2015-rise-and-fall/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2012: Here They Come

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

While the main event is easy enough to explain, the other big match on the card is one of the more confusing in recent memory. Originally, the Survivor Series match was scheduled to be Team Mick Foley vs. Team CM Punk. However, Punk was put in the title match instead so Team Punk became Team Ziggler. A series of injuries and storyline changes resulted in the match being completely different than originally announced. It also didn’t help that Ziggler and Foley had almost no interaction on television and no real reason to be angry at each other. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

It’s Slater and Mahal (Jinder Mahal, who never did much) here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to Mahal who gets two off a knee drop.

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag?

The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the World Title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Clay is a big man who likes to dance, Tensai is formerly known as Albert/A-Train, Epico and Primo are cousins from Puerto Rico, Kidd is a high flier from Canada and the Prime Time Players are Titus O’Neil and Darren Young, a team who used to fight each other on NXT. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along.

Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.

Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.

Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players.

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there.

Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.

Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.

Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, good for the worst record ever at the show.

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. The attacker wound up being Aksana in a meaningless story.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and didn’t get much better in the future. Eve was better but her character had hit a ceiling around this time.

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro (known as the Swiss Superman) is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.

Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.

We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ (a psychotic Diva who grew obsessed with various wrestlers), saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.

Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.

AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is scandalous! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus causing her to shout a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.

Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at Hell in a Cell with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Big Show is defending. It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the ropes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.

Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of their match at Hell in a Cell and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the alleged thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like eighteen and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER (Mr. Money in the Bank) chants are ignored.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga.

Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO (Kane and Daniel Bryan) are the Tag Team Champions and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course. Sandow is an intellectual.

Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.

The Tag Team Champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.

Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.

Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (called Wasteland by Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.

Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by referee Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution was a triple threat match.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk, with Paul Heyman in his corner, bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both challengers. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena wants to do it himself and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fall away slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he wouldn’t really recover. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

The three men would be revealed as Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (DUN DUN DUN!), which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Monday Night Raw – October 2, 2017: The Upside Down Egg Version

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver Colorado
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’ve got a title match on the card tonight as the Miz defends the Intercontinental Title against Roman Reigns. While a title change is always possible, there’s also the high likelihood that this is all helping to set up the Miztourage vs. a reunited Shield at Tables Ladders and Chairs 2017. Let’s get to it.

The roster is on the stage for a moment of silence in memory of the Las Vegas shooting. Even Vince and Shane are there.

Video on the Miztourage beating Reigns down last week and standing over him in the Shield pose.

Opening sequence.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Rollins kicks at the ribs to start but has to slip out of a running powerslam attempt. For some reason Seth slaps him in the face, setting off a chase. A kick to Braun’s head connects but Braun launches him into the air for a big crash. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Seth fights up and sends him outside. A suicide dive is knocked out of the air though and we take a break.

Back with Rollins getting tossed via a fall away slam but sidestepping a charge. Now the suicide dives connect, only to have the springboard knee to the face get two. A great looking superkick drops Braun but the wind up knee is countered with a clothesline. The running powerslam ends Rollins at 10:27.

Rating: C. Not a bad little match here but there was no question about Strowman winning. Rollins is great for something like this though as he’s legitimate competition for Strowman and makes him look great even in defeat. It was a fun match and a good way to open the show, which is all you can ask for.

Strowman gives him another powerslam for fun. He goes back for more but Dean Ambrose runs out for a save attempt, only to get chokeslammed for his efforts. Another running powerslam leaves both champions laying. Strowman leaves and here are Sheamus and Cesaro to pick the bones.

Breast cancer awareness video.

We recap Mickie James and Alexa Bliss’ issues.

Mickie runs into Alicia Fox and Emma, who say there’s a present in Mickie’s dressing room. She goes in to find a walker and adult diapers. Mickie goes to find Alexa but she’s hiding behind Nia Jax. A match is set for later.

Bray Wyatt is in his walking chair and rocking back and forth, going over things that Sister Abigail told him. She told him to fight the man and would never lie to him. He repeats the last line over and over.

Here’s Elias to tell us how horrible this town is and how much he can’t stand Titus O’Neil.

Elias vs. Titus O’Neil

Elias headlocks him to start but gets shoved off for a crash. A big boot knocks Elias outside where he gets in a staredown with Apollo Crews. Back in and Drift Away ends Titus at 2:58. Nothing match.

The announcers preview Hell in a Cell.

Mickie James vs. Nia Jax

Alexa comes out to watch and the distraction lets Nia jump Mickie from behind. The beating is on in a hurry and Mickie is sent outside as we take a break. Back with Mickie slugging away but getting thrown down again, setting up a chinlock and bearhug. Nia tries a powerbomb but Mickie slips out, setting up a few running kicks. A bad looking tornado DDT (Mickie’s leg was underneath Nia) plants Jax, only to have Alexa run in for the DQ at 9:45.

Rating: D+. As I’ve said before, Nia needs to win something at some point. That being said, I’m very happy that Mickie is in this story as she’s the fresh blood the division has been needing. That being said, she’s now been in stories where she’s crazy, fat and old. What did she do to WWE over the years to deserve those?

Mickie kicks Alexa in the face.

Long recap of Enzo Amore winning the title and being destroyed last week.

Enzo has nothing to say.

Mickie James will get her title shot at TLC.

Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan vs. Anderson and Gallows

Jordan slugs away at Anderson to start but everything breaks down with the good guys (guys, not Brothers) cleaning house to send us to a break. Back with Anderson working over Matt in the corner but it’s quickly off to Jordan. A slam is broken up via a Gallows kick to the face and Jordan is back in trouble again.

Anderson slaps on an armbar as the announcers ask Booker why he’s always complaining about Jordan’s relationship with Angle. That’s broken up as well and the hot tag brings in Matt for a middle rope elbow. Anderson makes a save and knocks Jordan outside, leaving Matt to take the Magic Killer for the pin at 11:02.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but were you expecting anything else? Jordan is a complete filler partner and while that makes sense in the short term, I don’t see this lasting too much longer. Hardy is more than capable of a singles run and that would be the best option for everyone at the moment.

Reigns says he’s keeping things simple tonight: destroy what’s in front of him, break Miz’s jaw, and leave with the title.

Some breast cancer survivors are brought out and presented with WWE Championships by Dana Warrior.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and comes out ala the Shield with the Miztourage. Reigns wastes no time in bailing to the floor and beating the heck out of the Miztourage to make things even. Axel staggers through the crowd so Reigns follows him up for a chair to the back. Dallas gets one as well before Reigns just unloads on both of them with multiple chair shots. The bell rings after a break with Reigns headbutting the champ on the floor. Miz avoids a charge though and Reigns winds up in the crowd. That’s only good for a nine count but Miz catches him in a short DDT for two.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Miz switches to just choking on the ropes. Back from a break with Miz hitting the YES Kicks but getting caught in a sitout powerbomb for a very near fall. The Superman Punch is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for the same and Miz is stunned. The second Superman Punch connects for an even closer two and it’s Reigns’ turn to be shocked. Reigns loads up the spear but Sheamus and Cesaro pull him out for the DQ at 10:47.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted but the ending hurt it a lot. They’re not hiding what they’re going for in the post match stuff and while there’s nothing wrong with that, I could go for it not being so heavy handed. There were some awesome near falls in this one and it was really entertaining at times, but the time factor and the storyline stuff isn’t great.

Reigns gets destroyed post match. The fans chant for the Shield as Reigns takes a TripleBomb. Miz, Sheamus and Cesaro do the Shield pose. That would be a heck of a lot better than Miz and the Miztourage.

Here’s Finn Balor for a chat. He’s heard Bray Wyatt’s talk for weeks now and he sees Bray for the coward he is. For all of Bray’s games, it boils down to him just being afraid that he can’t beat Finn Balor. If Bray wants another fight, come get one right now. Bray appears on screen, again in his rocking chair and saying that she never lied to me. Finn lied to him though and hid his true face behind the Demon. Sister Abigail is alive and dying to meet Balor.

Video on Asuka.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Emma/Alicia Fox

Sasha takes Emma down and does Bayley’s roll over Emma’s back to take over. Bayley sends her into the corner for some rams into the buckle and we take a break. Back with Fox hammering on Banks before Emma comes in for a chinlock. Emma’s butterfly suplex gets two and Fox’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same.

Banks still can’t get over for the hot tag as Fox pulls her back one more time. This time around though Banks sends the villains into each other and the hot tag brings in Bayley for some right hands to Alicia. A jawbreaker cuts Bayley off….but Emma drops to the floor and says she’s out. The Bayley to Belly ends Alicia at 12:58.

Rating: C-. Kind of boring with all the chinlockery but it wasn’t too bad. The big problem here though was the lack of any question about who was going to win. Emma and Alicia are some of the lowest level women the division has had in a good while and there’s no reason to expect that they’re going to beat two of the bigger names. That made the long chinlocks feel even longer, though it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

We look at Amore getting destroyed last week.

Here’s Enzo Amore to talk about the beating he took last week. He’s now put the cruiserweight division in the main event two weeks in a row and you’re absolutely right that he deserves it. Enzo talks about all the money he makes and all of his star power, but carrying the division has made his back hurt. He brings up the No Contact clause from last week and says there’s a new one tonight: if anyone attacks him, they’re fired. Now he’s on top of the throne but he doesn’t have any opponents.

Cue the cruiserweight division to surround Amore but he insults every single one of them in turn. This brings out Angle to say that none of the cruiserweights at ringside can lay a hand on him. HOWEVER, there’s a new member of the Cruiserweight division: Kalisto. The fight is on in a hurry with Kalisto easily beating the heck out of Enzo.

A banged up Reigns is in the back when Ambrose comes in. They stare at each other a bit until Rollins comes in as well. Ambrose leaves with Rollins going the opposite way. Reigns thinks things over to end the show. No one ever said or did anything more than look at the others.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m really going to need more time to get used to this Saturday Night’s Main Event style layout for the shows. For the young ones out there, Saturday Night’s Main Event would load up the first third or half of the show and then the last part would be whatever else they had time to squeeze in.

That would make for a far less interesting ending, which is what WWE has been going for lately. I’m so used to Raw ending with a big moment and now it’s something that feels like it’s filler. I get why they’re doing it (the last hour doesn’t do well anyway so don’t waste big stories) but DANG it’s punishing to fans who watch the whole thing.

The rest of the show was fine enough with Cesaro and Sheamus being a VERY nice upgrade over Axel and Dallas. It’s made me somewhat more interested in a Shield reunion, even if they’re doing such a rushed job with the whole thing. The show wasn’t terrible, but aside from the Shield stuff, I’m having trouble remembering anything important on the whole thing. That’s not good, especially when we’re less than three weeks away from a big pay per view.

Results

Braun Strowman b. Seth Rollins – Running powerslam

Elias b. Titus O’Neil – Drift Away

Mickie James b. Nia Jax via DQ when Alexa Bliss interfered

Anderson and Gallows b. Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan – Magic Killer to Hardy

Roman Reigns b. The Miz via DQ when Sheamus and Cesaro interfered

Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Alicia Fox/Emma – Bayley to Belly to Fox

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




No Mercy 2017: Space is Warped and Wrestling is Bendable

No Mercy 2017
Date: September 24, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

I don’t remember being this excited for a B pay per view in a very long time. This show is all about the double main event with a combination of Brock Lesnar defending the Universal Title against Braun Strowman and John Cena vs. Roman Reigns in one heck of a big time match. That should be more than enough to carry this show so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Elias vs. Apollo Crews

No real story here as this was just thrown together for the sake of a Kickoff match. Elias sings a little ditty about Los Angeles but gets cut off by Titus Worldwide and Crews in particular. Elias shoves him away without much effort and grabs a headlock to keep Crews slowed down. An armbar has Elias in some trouble and Crews snaps off a dropkick to take over. Elias sends him to the apron though and knocks Crews outside as we take a break.

Back with Elias still in control until Crews punches him in the ribs and slowly slugs away. Crews fights out of a reverse chinlock and scores with the standing shooting star. An enziguri staggers Elias but he sends Crews into the corner, setting up Drift Away for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: D+. This felt like a long Raw match and to be fair that’s all it was really supposed to be. Apollo losing again doesn’t really do anything that bad for him as it’s not like h had anything going for him anyway. On the other hand you have Elias, who is looking more and more like someone they would like to push every single week. Good outing from Elias but not much of a match.

Elias goes after Crews again but Titus makes a fast save.

The opening video looks at the two main events and talks about how everyone has the potential to show no mercy.

Intercontinental Title: Jason Jordan vs. The Miz

Jordan is challenging after winning a six way on Raw. Miz gets a bit too cocky to start and walks into a series of suplexes for his efforts. A cheap shot to the ribs has Jason in trouble though and a DDT gets two. The dueling WHO’S YOUR DADDY/LET’S GO MIZ chants starts up as Jordan slugs away, only to get sent outside for a breather. Back in and we hit the YES Kicks to Jordan with Cole and Corey arguing over who invented them.

Jordan catches one of them in another suplex and a Saito suplex is good for a near fall. Some rolling northern lights suplexes give Jordan a bridging two and Miz bails outside again. Back in and Jordan slaps on a Crossface for a bit, only to miss the running shoulder in the corner. Another suplex drops Miz and now the shoulder hits but Jordan has to go after Bo Dallas. Curtis Axel gets in a cheap shot though, knocking Jordan into Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 10:10.

Rating: C. Jordan’s suplexes looked great but I’m not sure that’s enough to carry him to glory. He really doesn’t have enough of a character to make it work but maybe it just needs another tweak to really start clicking. Miz retaining is the right call as he gets to keep setting himself closer towards the most days with the title.

Post match Jordan says he’s love a rematch and thinks Miz sucks, just like the chants about his father.

Long recap of Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor. Bray targeted Finn for thinking he was a false idol with the Balor Club. Bray beat him on Raw but then lost to the Demon at Summerslam. Now Bray wants to win again to show he can beat Balor himself.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Bray jumps him before the bell and sends Balor into various hard objects. The referees come out to check on Balor and start to take him to the back until Bray says that Balor is a coward who is scared of the monster in front of him. Of course those are fighting words and the brawl is on early. Sister Abigail is broken up and Balor sidesteps a charge to send Bray outside.

Back in and Bray catches him with a superplex to stay on the bad ribs like a good villain should. Finn’s shoulder is sent down into the apron as Bray is picking him apart piece by piece. Bray gets caught in the ring skirt though (That’s still a thing?) and Balor kicks him in the chest. Back in and Balor goes up, only to have Bray do the spider walk to scare the heck out of Finn.

The Sling Blade puts Bray down but he pops back up for a shot to the ribs and the backsplash for two. A double stomp gets Balor out of trouble but he takes too long going up top. Bray pulls him back down and hits a heck of a clothesline for two more. Back to back suplex throws have the ribs in more trouble (good psychological sense) but he takes too long on the ropes too. Balor hits the running corner dropkick and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: C+. Better match than their last effort and hopefully this ends their rivalry so Bray can find someone else to beat him up for a change. The match ran into the same trap that so many Wyatt matches run into: I didn’t buy most of his near falls because it felt like we were just waiting around for him to get beaten. They really need to fix that if they want Bray to move forward. Balor on the other hand needs to be in the World Title picture like….oh anytime would be nice.

Asuka debuts at TLC.

Sheamus and Cesaro say they’ll win.

Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Ambrose are defending. Ambrose sends both challengers outside to start but gets run over from behind by Sheamus. Cesaro rams him hard into the steps and comes up (well, he’s still on the ground but you get the idea) holding his arm. Back in and things actually slow down a bit for the referee to check on the arm so you know it’s serious. Cesaro’s boot to the face gets two and he cranks on the arm for good measure.

Dean fights up and sends him into the post though, allowing the hot tag to Rollins so house can be cleaned in a hurry, starting with the springboard clothesline and a catapult into the post. There’s the low superkick as Cesaro is bleeding from the face, due to LOSING BOTH OF HIS FRONT TEETH WHEN HIS HEAD SMACKED INTO THE POST! AND HE’S STILL GOING! Sweet goodness someone get this man a…..what the heck should he get? Sheamus is ticked off (must be a dental enthusiast) and grabs three straight Irish Curses to take Seth down.

It’s back to Cesaro (now less bloody) for a big boot to take Ambrose off the apron. Rollins slugs away anyway and avoids a charge to send Sheamus into the post. One heck of a backdrop sends Cesaro outside and the hot tag brings Dean back in. Ambrose clotheslines Sheamus outside and, while still favoring the arm, hits a suicide dive. Back in and Seth has to save Dean from a double Razor’s Edge, only to have Cesaro kick him to the floor.

That means a Sharpshooter and Crossface for Dean, who somehow makes the ropes. The double Razor’s Edge gets two and Sheamus can’t believe the kickout (fair enough, as that should be a heck of a finisher). With nothing else working, the super White Noise is loaded up but Rollins is there for a hurricanrana….which is blocked through raw power.

Sheamus gives Ambrose the regular White Noise and Cesaro superbombs Rollins onto Dean for the most ludicrous kickout I’ve seen in months. Dean collapses before a Brogue Kick can connect so Sheamus tries again, only to hit Cesaro by mistake. The wind-up knee knocks Sheamus into Dirt Deeds to retain the titles at 15:57.

Rating: B+. Do we still have Isaac Yankem’s business card? I don’t think I need to explain that this was an insanely hard hitting match with both teams beating the fire (and teeth) out of each other. I wasn’t expecting anything coming into this and while the kickouts were ridiculous at times (unfortunately that has to be plural), heck of a performance here and worth checking out.

We recap the Women’s Title match, which is a five way due to trying to throw in everyone they can. Alexa Bliss is defending, Sasha Banks is getting a mandatory rematch, Nia Jax and Emma won a tag match to get here and Bayley is just there because reasons.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Emma vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bliss is defending her right to get killed by Asuka. Emma now has new music that starts with “it’s all about me”. Uh, nothing has ever been about you Emma. Bliss and Jax are knocked to the floor without much effort and it’s a rare triple test of strength from the other three. Emma is sent outside as well to give us the big showdown, only to have Nia back in and destroy the mere mortals.

Bliss comes back in and tries her DDT on Jax, who just shrugs it off in a nearly funny moment. Banks tries a save so Nia Samoan drops her and Bliss at the same time, leaving Bayley to dive in for a save. The guillotine choke over the ropes has Nia in trouble so everyone can get together and dump her out. Nia gets right back up and grabs Emma, who slips between her legs and grabs a powerbomb with Bayley helping and Banks and Bliss dropkicking her away from the ropes.

Nia lands ON HER HEAD but thankfully seems to be alive. Back in and Banks hits Rey Mysterio’s sitout bulldog on Emma, followed by the Bank Statement on Bliss. Bayley makes a save and grabs the Bayley to Belly for two of her own. Nia is back up though and starts destroying people again, including a legdrop on Sasha for two. The monster is taken to the floor but Bliss uses the distraction to DDT Bayley and retain the title at 9:59.

Rating: B-. THEN WHY WAS EMMA IN THE FREAKING MATCH??? Of all the people they could have take the fall (and by that I mean of like three), they pick BAYLEY? The one coming back from injury after her horrible run? They have the jobbiest jobber to ever job in Emma and she’s just out there on the floor with the rest of them while Bayley takes the fall? And they wonder why no one buys into her. The other problem here is Nia, who needs to actually win something at some point in her career.

Bliss says she’s a goddess.

Clip from No Mercy 2005 with Batista retaining the Smackdown World Title over Eddie Guerrero.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Roman Reigns. Cena came to Raw to face Reigns and then destroyed him in a series of promos. Reigns talked about Cena leaving for Hollywood and says he needs to win this match to really be the big dog.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns shoulders him down to start, drawing a YOU BOTH SUCK chant. Cena actually gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp (Huh?), allowing Reigns to follow him up and get in a shot to the face to take over again. Some right hands have little effect on Reigns, who drops Cena with a single shot for two. Cena sends him into the steps for a breather but still doesn’t seem to have the killer instinct going yet.

Reigns does the same thing to him, followed by the apron dropkick. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Reigns gets two. Cena gets in a few right hands but a pair of kicks cut him off again as Cena has still had almost no offense. We hit the chinlock as the announcers are suggesting that Cena is starting to lose his big match skills and the stupid fans chant boring.

Back up and the shoulder block is cut off with an uppercut as Reigns is nailing the heel style. Cena’s finishing sequence is initiated but the Five Knuckle Shuffle is countered with another Samoan drop. The Superman Punch is countered into an STF but Reigns powers out into the sitout powerbomb for two more. Cena powers up again and hits the AA for two on a very near fall that I almost bought.

The top rope Fameasser is countered with a not great powerbomb for two and another Superman Punch gets another near fall. Back up and Reigns’ spear hits the post (CHECK HIS TEETH! CHECK HIS TEETH!) so Cena grabs the super AA for another very close two that I bought more than the standard version.

With nothing else working, Cena loads up the announcers’ tables but his third AA is countered into a spear through the table, though Cena kind of countered it with a DDT. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” That’s only good for two back inside but another spear is countered into rolling AA’s for a two that I didn’t buy as much this time around. Another Superman Punch and another spear gives Reigns the pin at 21:48. Cole: “This may be the biggest win of Reigns’ career!” No Cole. No.

Rating: B. Yeah this didn’t really work like it was supposed to and the spamming of finishers was laughable at the ending. The fact that I bought the first AA, really bought the second AA, and didn’t buy the rolling AA’s tells you all you need to know. This was supposed to be some big win that made Reigns but he’s main evented THREE WRESTLEMANIAS IN A ROW. Excuse me if I’m not thrilled with Reigns winning the co-main event of a B show. It’s a big win, but this wasn’t anything close to the level of epic they were hoping for.

Cena raises Reigns’ hand and sits in the corner after Reigns leaves. The fans applaud and give him a THANK YOU CENA chant because they’re acting like he’s retiring for some reason. Cena goes to the ramp, turns around and salutes before leaving.

Miz tells Kurt Angle he wants a special MizTV with Roman Reigns tomorrow night because that win was the same as retiring the Undertaker. Angle agrees and says it’s opening the show. Translation: PLEASE DON’T WATCH MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Neville

Enzo is challenging and comes out dressed like Beetlejuice. Before the match, Enzo runs his mouth about taking the king’s queen (Enzo: “What is a king without a queen?” Still a king you buffoon.) and something about cookie dough. Neville wristlocks him to start and takes Enzo down with a front facelock. A backflip out of trouble just earns Enzo a kick to the leg as Neville doesn’t seem to be sweating this one too much.

Neville sends him head first into the corner and stomps away, followed by a sliding kick to the head. All champ so far and you can feel the screwy ending coming. One heck of a superkick drops Enzo again and more kicks have him reeling. Neville goes up but takes too long jawing at the fans for the Phoenix splash. The DDG gets a close two on the champ but he throws Enzo outside and over the barricade. With the referee at nine, Enzo holds up the title and dives back in. The referee takes it away, allowing Enzo to hit a low blow for the pin and the title at 9:43.

Rating: F. Enzo Amore is Cruiserweight Champion. This is a failure.

D for those of you who are picky about this kind of stuff. It was a squash with a screwy finish.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman, which is going to be a big collision. Strowman is the biggest monster that Lesnar has ever faced and he might not be enough of a beast to conquer him.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is challenging. Brock gets shoved down to start and a takedown attempt is shoved away. The first German suplex is no sold and Brock gets chokeslammed (Graves: “CHOKESLAM CITY BROCK!”). Braun’s running powerslam only gets two and Heyman is panicking. An elbow and headbutt block another German suplex attempt and Brock’s back gives out on an F5 attempt.

Braun posts him and sends Brock hard into the corner, only to miss a charge. Strowman gets caught in the Kimura and despite Braun grabbing the ropes four times, he settles for a spinebuster to break the hold. It’s Suplex City time with numbers two thru six having Strowman in trouble and Lesnar in a puddle of sweat. The F5 doesn’t work though and a second running powerslam plants Lesnar. A third only gets two on Brock as the fans aren’t reacting to these near falls. Back up and the F5 retains the title out of nowhere at 8:58.

Rating: D. Well that was garbage. They had something going in the first few minutes but Brock just shrugged everything off and hit the F5 to retain. You know, likely because we need Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. Braun made one big mistake coming into this match: he got himself over when he wasn’t supposed to and WWE isn’t changing their plans for anyone, especially if the World Title is involved.

Overall Rating: B. That was a heck of a surprise as everything I was looking forward to was either disappointing or just bad and almost everything that I wasn’t interested in was good stuff. Reigns vs. Cena was certainly entertaining though nowhere near as big as WWE thinks it was. Strowman vs. Lesnar….yeah we all bought into the false hope that we’re getting ANYTHING other than Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. It’s a shame, but I can’t really say I’m surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.

The rest of the show was actually very good with the low point being…..I guess Balor vs. Wyatt? I had a good time with this show, even if it was for the polar opposite reason I was expecting to. Still though, it’s one of the better B shows they’ve done in a long time and the good stuff at the beginning more than makes up for the lackluster main event.

Of course nothing makes up for Enzo winning. That’s a wound that will never heal.

Results

The Miz b. Jason Jordan – Skull Crushing Finale

Finn Balor b. Bray Wyatt – Coup de Grace

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Sheamus

Alexa Bliss b. Bayley, Nia Jax, Emma and Sasha Banks – DDT to Bayley

Roman Reigns b. John Cena – Spear

Enzo Amore b. Neville – Low blow

Brock Lesnar b. Braun Strowman – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Went to the Raw House Show Last Night

I took in the Raw house show last night at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Kentucky. The featured attraction this time around was John Cena, who was making a rare house show appearance. However, this wasn’t mentioned on TV commercials until the week of the show, despite the announcement being made on WWE.com over three weeks ago. The crowd was solid enough for a Sunday house show but I have to think advertising Cena as a major attraction would have helped.

The show was scheduled to start at 7pm and actually kicked off a minute or so early. It was a fairly strong turnout with the upper deck completely tarped off but that’s standard for a place the size of Rupp Arena. It should be noted that Rupp Arena is the largest arena in the United States built for basketball with over 23,000 seats. Therefore, even a crowd that is only half full would be a solid showing elsewhere.

1. Apollo Crews/Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Curt Hawkins/Anderson and Gallows (5:50) C-.

This was exactly the opener you would have wanted with the faces being incredibly popular and everyone going nuts for Slater and Rhyno. Crews is a fine face with the athleticism and Titus makes for a solid manager who knows how to fire up a crowd. You don’t come off as professional as he does and not have some kind of use, even if it’s just a spot as a manager. The best note of this was Anderson beating Slater up and shouting that he has kids too. Rhyno hit a spinebuster on Hawkins for the pin.

2. Goldust b. R-Truth (1:18)

This was another good choice to fire the crowd up but the ending was really sudden. Truth beat the heck out of Goldust for about a minute but charged into a boot and got rolled up for the pin with feet on the ropes. After it was over, Truth promised to get back at Goldust. Nothing to see here but Truth’s song fired up the crowd.

3. Akira Tozawa b. Brian Kendrick (8:26) B-.

This might have been the match of the night, which isn’t really saying much on a show like this. Tozawa got the crowd going again (notice a pattern here) with the shouting and there was a great near fall off a kick to Kendrick’s head. Tozawa won with the top rope backsplash after escaping the Captain’s Hook. No Titus here, despite Tozawa signing with Titus Worldwide. The problem here continues to be very simple though: no one cares about the cruiserweights and there’s no real way around it.

4. Finn Balor b. Elias Samson (8:39) C.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I have no idea why Finn Balor’s isn’t World Champion like, now. The guy is an absolute star and comes off exactly as such with the fans eating up everything he does. He has a good look, his matches are solid and his entrance is outstanding. Throw in the Demon King when the time is right and he’s pure money. This was longer than it needed to be with Samson in control for the most par. Balor made the comeback you would expect him to make and finished with the Coup de Grace.

5. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins b. Miztourage (14:45) B-.

I love lackeys. They can help extend both a feud and a character so much just by having people there to fight instead of doing the same match over and over again. That was the case here as Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas said Miz was too busy for a town like Lexington and they were representing him instead. Axel got in a great line: “I’m not saying Kentucky sucks. I’m saying LEXINGTON, Kentucky sucks.”

The place went coconuts for Rollins when he was the surprise (Kind of?) partner for Ambrose. I still think he could easily be the next Jeff Hardy and the reaction he received here only reinforce that theory. This was a longer match than you would expect and went about as you would have guessed. The Miztourage are fine heels and can go in the ring, making me all the sadder that Axel was wasted for so many years. Ambrose won with Dirty Deeds to Dallas in an energetic match.

Intermission. Two kids got to play the What Happens Next game and thankfully they didn’t go with the Vince dying clip. After the kids got it right, they received a program, a WWE Top Ten book, the Best of the 2000s DVD, a shirt, every autographed poster for sale, and probably something else that I’m forgetting. Not bad at all for a single night.

6. Mickie James/Dana Brooke b. Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax (6:55) D+.

And then the crowd died when they realized Bayley and Sasha Banks weren’t here. I’m a bigger Brooke fan than most but sweet goodness people did not care about these two against the top heels. The match wasn’t even very good either with the lone highlight (aside from Alexa of course) being Bliss not being able to whip Jax into the corner for a splash and just giving up. Mickie kicked Bliss in the face for the surprising pin.

7. Sheamus/Cesaro b. Hardy Boyz (12:32) C+.

The Hardys got the pop of the night but unfortunately the match was about the same thing these teams have been doing for months now. Jeff had his facepaint back and Matt was doing the DELETE pose fairly often. The match was perfectly watchable and the crowd was WAY into everything the Hardys were doing all match long. Sheamus snapped Matt’s throat across the top rope so Cesaro could grab a small package to retain the titles.

8. John Cena b. Bray Wyatt (14:08) C.

Much like the previous match, this was exactly what you would expect from these two. Cena got a great reaction and easily the second biggest of the night. Above all else though, I couldn’t get over how sad it is that Bray has gone from an awesome cult leader to a homeless guy who swings a lantern around. He’s completely lacking direction and it’s been sad to watch for a good while now. The ref got bumped so there was no one to see Bray tap to the STF. A low blow gave Wyatt two (with the kids losing their minds on the kickout), followed by an AA for the pin.

A Smackdown Live taping was announced for November, though I had originally heard of this as a Raw. They put tickets on sale for one night so I picked up a similar seat for the exact same price as the house show. You would think the TV aspect and a more important show would raise prices/mean the house show should have been lower but not so much. There were probably 100 people in line to buy tickets but if there are four months before the show, the low pre-sale isn’t a surprise.

Overall it was a fun night with a VERY hot crowd. The faces mostly won and it was more than entertaining enough. Two tickets in the lower arena (sixth row in the first set of seats off the floor) were $75 total so it was hardly expensive as another nice perk. Good show and a lot of fun, which to be fair was helped by it being five minutes from my house.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Great Balls of Fire: This Show Came Along and Moved Me Honey

Great Balls of Fire
Date: July 9, 2017
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

It’s time for the most oddly named pay per view in a long time and yes they’re actually going to call it this. Brock Lesnar is getting back in the ring for the first time since Wrestlemania to defend the Universal Title against Samoa Joe. This has the potential to be a war and that’s what the title needs. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa is defending and has Titus O’Neil in his corner. They run the ropes to start and flip away from each other. Neville gets sent to the floor but blocks a dive with a kick, allowing Neville to yell at Titus. Tozawa gets sent into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Neville getting two off a kick to the chest. Tozawa gets in a kick of his own and goes up so Neville bails, meaning Tozawa gets in a suicide dive for two.

An Octopus Hold sends Neville to the ropes before he can kick Tozawa in the head for two more. Neville’s Phoenix splash misses and Tozawa gets in the top rope backsplash, only to have Neville roll outside again. Tozawa heads up but gets crotched hard. Neville kicks the ropes to make it even worse and a kick to the chest retains the title at 11:26.

Rating: C+. What in the world is supposed to stop Neville? The division is pretty much empty now, though that finish seems to set up a rematch. I don’t really need to see these two fight again but that’s never stopped WWE before. Summerslam is up next and Tozawa vs. Neville II doesn’t seem like the most interesting match in the world. Then again that would allow the creative department to not have to do anything so look for it to happen. The match didn’t really click the way I was expecting as Tozawa just kicked and did his dives but at least he was a fresh challenger.

A longer than usual opening video has a drive-in movie theme with the matches being treated as old school trailers.

Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins

Standard Bray feud: Rollins is popular so Bray wants to beat him up. Seth kicks him down to start and Bray smiles in the corner. It’s too early for the suicide dive though as Bray punches him back and hammers away. They head to the apron for a slugout and Seth is sent hard into the steps for his efforts.

One heck of a charge sends Seth into the barricade and we hit the chinlock. Seth fights up and heads to the top, meaning it’s a superplex to bring him back down. Bray has cut him off almost every time so far like he has Seth very well scouted. Rollins knees out of a suplex and sends Bray outside for the suicide dive.

The Sling Blade and Blockbuster get two on Bray but he breaks up the momentum with a heck of a clothesline. That hard release Rock Bottom gives Bray two and he runs his mouth about being a god. Rollins slugs away until a poke to the eye cuts him off. Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 12:05.

Rating: B-. Well it was short but at least Bray won, even if that’s not going to mean anything in his future. He’s done this kind of thing before and it never goes anywhere because he’ll lose the next time there’s anything remotely resembling a big match. WWE has made it clear that they’re not going to do anything with him long term and that gets very annoying for anyone who wants to get behind him.

The Hardys have been watching superhero shows to prepare for facing Sheamus and Cesaro. Jeff talks about being in the first tag team tables match and tag team ladder match. Not only do they break barriers but they also break bars.

We recap Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass. They were a popular team but Big Cass got tired of bailing Enzo out of trouble for running his mouth. Cass finally had enough of it and turned on him, sending Enzo into a more emotional place than ever before. Enzo is in way over his head physically but his heart could carry him through.

Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass

Before the match, Enzo talks about how they debuted here last year in the same arena but now it’s war. He quotes some That’s Life and says if Cass wants to stomp on him, come on because he’s always going to be a dreamed. Enzo goes on for a LONG time and basically says he’s here to fight because he won’t give up. Cass debuts some new music, which might not be the most original but at least it’s something new.

Enzo charges right at him and gets tossed around like he’s not even there. Something like a crossface chickenwing slows Enzo down and Cass splashes him for good measure. Some forearms to the back have Amore in more trouble and Cass tells him to bring it on. A gorilla press drop sends him outside but he gets back in at nine. The big boot ends Enzo at 5:22.

Rating: D+. Total and complete squash and that’s exactly what it should have been. Amore isn’t someone who is going to be able to get in any significant offense on someone like Cass and that’s what happened here. This is a good example of a perfectly booked match and that’s not something you get anymore.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and this is a thirty minute Iron Man match because we haven’t watched them fight enough. Cesaro distracts Matt to start and it’s a Brogue Kick for the first fall at 20 seconds. Jeff tries his luck and dropkicks both of them down, followed by Matt ramming Sheamus’ head into the apron a few times. It’s Cesaro cutting Jeff off to save his brother and they head outside with the champs taking over.

Back in and Cesaro grabs a gutwrench to keep Jeff in trouble as the announcers get in “playing defense” as many times as they can. Jeff is sent outside and the match is going so slowly that we look back at the first fall. Cesaro grabs a side choke as we’re not even ten minutes in yet. Matt gets knocked off the apron and the assisted White Noise gives Cesaro the second fall on Jeff at 9:48.

Back up and Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post, allowing the hot tag back to Matt. Sheamus is rammed into three buckles ten times each, followed by Poetry in Motion and a Side Effect. The Twist of Fate ends Cesaro to make it 2-1 at 12:55. Sheamus comes in and gets caught with the slingshot dropkick in the corner for two as we hit the halfway point. Jeff flip dives onto everyone but Cesaro posts Matt for a countout to go up 3-1 at 16:55.

Sheamus grabs a chinlock, followed by the very slow forearms to the chest. We hit ten minutes to go as Sheamus gets two off a double suplex. Cesaro kicks Jeff off the apron and grabs the Sharpshooter on Matt. Sheamus gets dropped as well though and Matt makes a fast tag so Jeff can cradle Cesaro to make it 3-2 at 22:55. A basement dropkick gives Jeff two more, followed by Matt’s tornado DDT for two at 5:00 to go.

Matt hits the moonsault for what looked like three with Cesaro diving in (possibly too late) for the save. A super Twist of Fate drops Sheamus and we’re tied at 2:55 to go. Sheamus is still down so a top rope splash/elbow give the Hardys two. Jeff gets a blind tag and hits the Swanton but Cesaro, the legal man, rolls him up for the pin at 25 seconds left. Time runs out and the champs retain 4-3 at 30:00.

Rating: D. WOW this was boring and one of the most boring matches I’ve seen in years. There was no need for this to be thirty minutes long and this better wrap up the feud already. The last few minutes were a bit better but this felt like it was about an hour and a half long, which really isn’t something you want happening, especially on a pay per view with no breaks. Now PLEASE let them be done.

Xavier Woods was at the Rocket League World Championships.

We recap the Women’s Title match. Alexa Bliss is tired of being judged and if she has to beat up Sasha Banks to prove herself, so be it.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is challenging. Sasha knocks her outside to start and Bliss takes a breather while feeling her own jaw. Back in and Bliss does her dislocated arm thing, which the announcers are all shocked by because they’ve never watched her matches before. Bliss teases walking out and rams Bliss into the apron to take over. The double knees and moonsault knees to the back give the champ two and it’s off to a modified surfboard.

One heck of a backbreaker gives Bliss two more but Sasha comes back with some forearms to the face. Bliss catches her with a sunset bomb out of the corner for two (nasty landing). Twisted Bliss hits knees (kind of) and the Bank Statement has Alexa in trouble until a rope is grabbed. Banks sends her into the barricade but Bliss slaps her in the face and takes the countout at 11:48.

Rating: C. The ending hurt it a bit but this is clearly there to set up a rematch. The dislocated elbow thing is still creepy and Banks is good for a challenger. I’m sure this is going to set up a rematch in some form of gimmick match, probably at Summerslam, which might not be the worst idea in the world. It’s good enough but felt like a longer TV match.

Post match Sasha fights her up to the announcers’ table. Bliss gets shoved off and the double knees off the table drops Bliss to the floor.

We look at the Kickoff Show match.

Tozawa is in pain and tells Titus he wants a rematch. Titus will work on it but wants Tozawa to get looked at by the trainers.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

Miz is defending. Dean goes after the Miztourage to start and grabs a rollup for two. Miz gets in the short DDT and kicks Dean in the chest to stay in control. Dirty Deeds is broken up but Ambrose throws Miz down to get a breather anyway. A butterfly superplex gives Dean two but he tweaks his knee on the way down.

Dirty Deeds still doesn’t work and we hit the Figure Four. Dean, with a bloody lip, makes the bottom rope but the knee is done. Miz fires off the YES Kicks but gets slapped in the face. The top rope standing elbow gives Dean two but the Miztourage pulls Dean to the floor for a beating.

Dean dives on all three of them but bangs up his knee even more. Back in and Dirty Deeds connects with Maryse putting the foot on the ropes. Dean hits a suicide dive (partially taking Maryse out in the process) but Dallas hits him in the back of the head, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 11:15.

Rating: C-. They had a long way to go to get over the boring story and they didn’t get there. The Miztourage is a great addition for Miz as they fit him so well and Dallas looking like a Duck Dynasty/Sons of Anarchy hybrid helps a lot. I hope this doesn’t lead to another rematch but these two have only dominated the Intercontinental Title picture for fifteen months now. WWE can get at least three more months out of this thing before they have to come up with something new.

Long recap of Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman. They were fighting back in February, then took a break for Wrestlemania, then Strowman shoved over an ambulance with Reigns inside, then they took another month off because of an elbow injury. Tonight it’s an ambulance match in what should be the blowoff.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Ambulance match. Strowman goes right after the ribs and throws Reigns outside with ease. A shot with the steps crushes Roman again but Strowman hits the post with the steps. Back in and Roman’s comeback is cut off by the powerslam with Strowman going for a cover out of instinct.

Reigns slips off of Braun’s shoulders and manages a Samoan drop. Strowman goes shoulder first into the post and Roman wraps it around the post. Some chair shots make the elbow even worse but Strowman just gets up and shrugs them off. Strowman tells Reigns to hit him and then knocks him off the stage and into the side of the ambulance. Reigns send him head first into the ambulance for a breather, followed by a Superman punch to put him halfway inside.

Strowman hits him with a backboard and throws Reigns back onto the stage. A hard shot knocks Strowman through the LED screen but Reigns can’t follow up. Instead Braun pops up and throws him off the stage again. Roman misses a spear though and winds up in the ambulance to give Braun the win at 15:30.

Rating: B. It was a fun brawl and should end the feud (oh just wait a minute) but now it’s clear that we’re getting Reigns vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Why? We’re just that lucky I guess. Strowman vs. Lesnar could be a heck of a war like this one, though hopefully with an ending that doesn’t look like the Cowardly Lion diving away from the Wizard of Oz. This was about what you had to expect, but that’s not a bad thing in this case.

Roman pops out of the ambulance and spears Strowman into it. He jumps into the driver’s seat and speeds to the back where, after a few camera cuts, backs the ambulance into a production truck to pretty much kill Strowman. Kurt Angle and company come up to try and open the ambulance….and we’re going to the ring?

Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins

This is an impromptu match and I have no idea why it’s been added. Hawkins is barely ready and the announcers ignore the match to talk about Strowman being in trouble. We cut to the back again where a fire truck is coming in to get Strowman out. With the camera away from the ring, Slater wins with something we don’t even see at 2:28.

Still in the back, the Dallas fire department is here to use the jaws of life to open the ambulance. Braun crawls away and refuses medical help. Angle is STUNNED as Strowman walks away to applause. If they didn’t do this for the sake of a double turn, I have officially lost the ability to understand this company. That was every possible sign of a Strowman face turn and Reigns, who lost and ATTEMPTED TO MURDER STROWMAN, is now about as heelish as you can get.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Samoa Joe. Samoa Joe became #1 contender last month and has showed that he’s not afraid of Lesnar, even nearly choking him out at one point. Lesnar has shown no signs of being afraid of Joe and laughed at him for even trying. Tonight it’s going to be a fight.

Universal Title: Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and Joe’s music hits at 10:51pm. Joe jumps him during the Big Match Intros and they head outside with Lesnar being Rock Bottomed through the table. The bell hasn’t rung yet and Lesnar is dragging himself inside. Joe enziguris him in the corner and starts laying in the headbutts. Lesnar can’t overpower him and Joe hammers away in the corner. He can’t get the full Koquina Clutch in though and Lesnar sends him into the buckle for the break.

There’s the first German suplex, followed by the second and third but Joe kicks him low for the break. Another Rock Bottom gives Joe two but he still can’t get the Clutch. A weak version of the Clutch goes on until Lesnar escapes with a side slam. Lesnar charges into the post, only to slip between Joe’s legs and turn on the German suplexes again. We hit the sixth but Joe slips out of the F5 and puts on the Clutch. Lesnar grabs the ropes but the referee casually lets it stay on. Brock is turning purple but he powers up into the F5 to retain at 6:29.

Rating: B+. THIS is what I’ve been wanting from Lesnar for a long time. Joe got in some serious offense and beat on Lesnar for a good chunk of that match. This was FAR from what we had to sit through with Lesnar just wrecking people as he was put to the test and caught Joe in the end. I had a great time with this and it was certainly acceptable rather than having Lesnar destroy him. Very good match and a big relief.

Joe glares at Lesnar with the announcers emphasizing that Joe got caught and Lesnar was in big trouble to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The two main events are enough to carry it but SWEET GOODNESS the rest of this show was weak. The Tag Team Title match felt like it went on for longer than ever, Banks vs. Bliss was there for the sake of setting up a rematch, Bray vs. Seth was exactly what you would expect and Miz vs. Ambrose is likely continuing for no logical reason.

That being said, this show was the modern day In Your House: a lot of nothing and a major match on the end to draw the fans. It’s certainly not terrible but there’s no hiding the fact that it’s a pit stop on the way to Brooklyn for Summerslam. That’s not a bad thing and the fact that it’s the same price at Wrestlemania makes up for a lot of it. Check out the main event but that’s all you really need to see.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Seth Rollins – Sister Abigail

Big Cass b. Enzo Amore – Big boot

Cesaro/Sheamus b. Hardys 4-3

Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss via countout

Miz b. Dean Ambrose – Skull Crushing Finale

Braun Strowman b. Roman Reigns – Strowman shut Reigns in the ambulance

Heath Slater b. Curt Hawkins – Unknown

Brock Lesnar b. Samoa Joe – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – June 12, 2017: No Roman, No….Well It Still Had Problems But Different Ones.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 12, 2017
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

It’s a big night as Brock Lesnar is back on the show for the first time since winning the Universal Title nearly two and a half months ago. That means we’re getting ready for his first title defense against Samoa Joe in about a month, which has been enhanced by Samoa Joe choking out Lesnar’s advocate Paul Heyman. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Samoa Joe attacking Heyman last week to send Lesnar a message. That’s still the perfect way to set the match up.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman to get things going with Paul saying it’s time for some revenge. Now last week, Samoa Joe attacked Heyman and Paul gets why that’s the case. Sometimes he certainly deserves it but that wasn’t true last week. Last week, Heyman saw someone that could go man to beast with Brock.

There have been a lot of Samoans in wrestling but Joe is the outcast one. For some reason he’s not treated the same and his biggest claim to fame is choking Heyman out. Heyman agrees that the Koquina Clutch was everything that Joe promised it would be. That made Heyman wonder what would happen to the title if Brock was ever caught in that hold. Then Heyman realized that’s not a problem because Joe isn’t man enough to get the hold on Brock Lesnar.

Cue Joe to headbutt Lesnar right in the face as the brawl is on. Security is sent out and dispatched just as fast so here’s the locker room (or at least the midcard) to try again. That goes just as badly with Joe breaking away to superkick Joe right in the jaw. The fight is finally broken up and things settle down. This was an outstanding start but there’s one thing: none of this matters if Brock is lazy and just does suplexes into an F5 at the pay per view. Make it a competitive match where they beat the heck out of each other and things will be fine. Just don’t make it a squash, please.

Back with a replay because of course.

Here’s Elias Samson to sing a song running down both Louisiana and Dean Ambrose.

Elias Samson vs. Dean Ambrose

They brawl into the corner to start with Booker praising Samson every chance he can. An elbow to the face and chop send Samson to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ambrose caught in a chinlock before fighting up with more elbows to the face. A fisherman’s suplex is good for two on Samson and the suicide dive makes things even worse.

Back in and Dean breaks up a superplex attempt, only to have Miz come out for a distraction. Samson’s rollup gets two but Dean goes after Miz and Maryse. The distraction is good for a nine count with Samson kneeing Dean in the back as he comes back in. Samson’s swinging neckbreaker is good for the pin on Ambrose at 11:49.

Rating: C. Samson is being treated as a big deal (certainly a bigger deal than he was in NXT) and that’s a good thing. Ambrose isn’t going to be hurt by screwy finishes like this one so just let him talk his way right back to his normal spot. Miz vs. Ambrose has been done to death but there’s a good chance they’ll blow the whole thing off at the pay per view.

Goldust says he and R-Truth were never friends or brothers. No one ever understood him and he’s going to make them all very uncomfortable.

Kurt Angle yells at Miz, who brings up Kurt’s personal problems. Miz wants Angle to do something about Dean but Angle says do it yourself.

Video on Cedric Alexander.

Noam Dar is in the back when Cedric comes up to say he’s done with Dar and Alicia Fox. It turns out that Alicia is talking to Alicia on Skype and she wants Cedric to say things to his face. Alexander says this ends tonight. Didn’t he just say he was already done with it?

Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar

Dar brings his phone to the ring where Fox is still yelling at him. For some reason this goes over the arena’s audio system with Alicia saying he’s making her neck hurt. As for the match, the bell rings and the Lumbar Check ends Dar at 6 seconds.

Next week, Roman Reigns will announce his plans for Summerslam. Isn’t it a bit early for that? Eh not for Reigns of course.

Bray Wyatt wants to break things.

Here’s Wyatt to talk about how people shouldn’t deny him like Seth Rollins has done. Seth lives in a glass house and a single shout brought it all crashing down. This brings out Rollins, who says he was speaking the truth when he called Wyatt a false prophet. If Bray is that disturbed by what Seth said, do something about it. Bray says Seth is beneath him and that Rollins doesn’t want this fight. The lights go out again and Bray is gone. They go out again and Bray is on the screen, saying Seth can slay a king but not a god.

The Hardys are ready to get their titles back.

Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews

Because WWE doesn’t know how to end a feud. Titus O’Neil is at ringside and has Akira Tozawa in the front row to help recruit him to the Titus Brand. You know, because he couldn’t get tickets on his own. Kalisto does his handstand walk but Crews dropkicks him down. We hit a front facelock as Tozawa is plugging his ears to avoid listening to Titus. Kalisto’s hurricanrana driver gets two, followed by Crews’ Toss Powerbomb for the pin at 2:16.

Tozawa is thrown into the ring and forced to take a picture. He doesn’t look pleased.

Miz comes up to Heath Slater and Rhyno (who are eating cheese and crackers) to offer the former a spot in his entourage. Slater seems intrigued in exchange for an Intercontinental Title shot. Rhyno doesn’t like this and tells Miz to get a partner for a tag match later.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat….but she’s quickly cut off by a ticked off Nia Jax. Alexa’s tone changes in a hurry and she talks about wanting to give Nia a great match that people would talk about for years. It was Mickie James and Dana Brooke that messed things up though. This brings out Mickie and Dana to call Bliss out for saying they all have a Nia Jax problem.

Bliss doesn’t want to hear it because she’s above the two of them but here’s Emma to say it’s her time. Alexa says this is what she’s talking about and tries to get Nia on her side, only to have Sasha Banks come out as well. She wants to show Bliss how a Boss throws a party and decks Alexa in the face. The brawl is on and we take a break.

Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma vs. Dana Brooke/Mickie James/Sasha Banks

Well duh. Joined in progress with Bliss holding Dana in a chinlock until it’s off to Emma. Dana stops a charge with a raised boot but Emma kicks her in the ribs to cut off a tag attempt. That lasts all of three seconds as it’s off to Sasha for the house cleaning. Emma tries to tag off to Alexa but the champ drops to the floor and walks out. Mickie dives onto Nia and Sasha grabs the Bank Statement to make Emma tap at 3:29.

Rating: D+. At least they kept it short. These matches don’t really do much for me as they’re just throwing everything together for the sake of having everyone in the match. The teams only make a bit of sense but at least they said Angle set them up. It’s not horrible but this is your standard WWE booking formula, which isn’t the best thing in the world.

The announcers talk about Money in the Bank.

Video on Finn Balor.

Bayley sat down with Corey Graves earlier today to talk about her loss at Extreme Rules. Bayley says she’s always going to be herself and do what’s best for herself no matter what. As for her future, she wants to get her title back and walk into Wrestlemania defending it again next year. The fans need to know that they can do it their way, which is what she wants everyone to know. To wrap it up, Bayley hugs Graves, who looks a bit disturbed. Graves: “I need a cigarette.”

Miz/??? vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Miz doesn’t have a partner…..so here’s a bear on a tricycle. The bear scratches itself on the post and distracts Slater so he can grab a rollup for two. An armbar doesn’t get him very far so it’s off to the bear for a staredown. Heath doesn’t think much of it so the bear paws him (one of Cole’s many jokes) a few times.

It’s back to Miz, who beats the bear up. The head is taken off to reveal…..a no name. Back in and Miz gets beaten down again, only to have the bear come back in with the head on. Miz is sent into Maryse, who walks out on the match. Of course it’s Dean Ambrose underneath the match this time and Dirty Deeds gives Heath the pin at 6:30. Total comedy that advanced the story.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t a match but a comedy segment that had wrestling involved. That being said, I had a good time with this one because it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than what it was. Just have some fun out there and advance a story with something that had been set up earlier in the story.

Video on the Hardys returning and winning/losing the Tag Team Titles.

Neville vs. Rich Swann

Non-title and Neville jumps Swann during his dancing. The Rings of Saturn go on and there’s no match.

Neville lists off the people he’s destroyed and wants to know how many more names he has to beat up before he gets his respect. That brings him to Akira Tozawa, who has been getting his attention as of late. If Tozawa keeps doing this though, he’s going to have to bend his knee as well.

Cesaro and Sheamus say they are the bar.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

Hang on as Cass is down again (you can see Revival walking through the background) with Enzo running up to check on him. Cass says it was one shot to the back of his head but he’ll be out there anyway. After Anderson and Gallows get in some mocking, the match starts anyway. Cass is clearly shaken up as he beats Anderson up. It’s off to Enzo as Cass is knocked off the apron again. Enzo fights back but gets superkicked out of the air, setting up the Magic Killer for the pin at 2:27.

Big Show comes out to break up the post match beatdown. Cass isn’t cool with Show helping Enzo up.

Post break Enzo asks Show if he attacked Cass because not many people could take Cass out with one shot. Show calls Cass S-A-W-F-T.

We recap the opening segment.

Samoa Joe is ready to choke Brock out. Again, this is Joe looking serious and sounding like he can back it up. He’s also not being presented as scared of Brock, which is a rare thing.

Next week, Roman Reigns will announce his Summerslam plans. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.

Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardys

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and this is 2/3 falls. An early Brogue Kick misses and it’s Poetry in Motion to set up the Side Effect for two on Sheamus. Jeff tries to jump over Sheamus and gets Brogue Kicked for the first fall at 1:11. If my sources are right, that’s the first time the Hardys have been pinned in a tag match since November 2014.

Back from a break with Jeff still in trouble until he kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag off to Matt. The DELETE chants strike up as Matt sends Cesaro into each buckle ten times. A tornado DDT gets two and the Twist of Fate ties things up at 8:51 (total, including the first fall).

Everything breaks down in a hurry for the third fall with Jeff getting kneed in the face for two. Cesaro takes Matt down into the Sharpshooter but Jeff makes a save. The European uppercut gets another near fall on Jeff as Matt is driven into the barricade. Jeff gets in a quick Swanton but Cesaro makes the save at two. Everyone brawls to the floor and the third fall is a double countout at 15:25.

Rating: B. I’m really not sure where they’re going with this (as in I don’t know what the next gimmick will be) but this actually got me a bit more into the feud than I had been before. It’s still not the most thrilling stuff in the world but they were beating each other up here and had me interested in where it was going, which is a lot more than I can say for most feuds these days.

The Hardys beat them up a bit more to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was….different, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. First of all, the show didn’t really have one big story and kept going around to different topics instead of focusing on one. The main event was treated like a big deal but Joe vs. Lesnar was done in the first fifteen minutes and the next major story was over the midcard title.

It felt like a throwaway show, which it probably was given the NBA Finals being on TV again. Of course that’s likely going to be used as a way to prove Roman’s drawing power, but that’s life in WWE. The show wasn’t good but it was watchable and felt a bit different, which might be the best thing I can say about it.

Results

Elias Samson b. Dean Ambrose – Swinging neckbreaker

Cedric Alexander b. Noam Dar – Lumbar Check

Apollo Crews b. Kalisto – Toss powerbomb

Dana Brooke/Mickie James/Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax/Emma – Bank Statement to Emma

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Miz/Bear – Dirty Deeds to Miz

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Magic Killer to Amore

Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Hardys went to a draw

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – May 8, 2017: Wake Me When We’re Back Home

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 8, 2017
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

We’re over in the old country tonight for a taped show. It’s roughly a month away from Extreme Rules and we don’t have much of a card yet. However, you can pretty much pencil in Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman coming back from severe injuries to work the show because that’s how WWE works. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to open the show who says Kurt Angle won’t be here tonight. Dean: “I heard his dog is sick or something.” For tonight though, Ambrose is in charge. Before we can hear his first act, here are Miz and Maryse to interrupt. While the idea of Ambrose in charge could only lead to chaos, he has something else in mind. Before the show, Stephanie McMahon called him to say that Miz is in charge this week instead.

Ambrose says Miz is in the first match tonight and offers a handshake but here’s Strowman with his arm in a sling to interrupt. He wants Reigns as soon as possible and then he wants Brock Lesnar. This brings out……Kalisto, to say he wants Strowman tonight. Ambrose makes the match but Braun says he’s injured. Dean heard Strowman say he could beat Kalisto with one arm though so the match is on. As for Miz, he can face Finn Balor next.

Miz vs. Finn Balor

Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in to take a dropkick to the face. Another trip to the floor doesn’t go as well for Miz as he gets dropkicked into the barricade. Maryse pulls her husband away from the Coup de Grace and we take a break. Back with Miz getting in a short DDT for two of his own and it’s off to the chinlock. Balor comes back with the Pele, followed by another kick to the head to put Miz on the floor.

Miz is reeling but a Maryse distraction lets him shove Balor into the referee. As acting GM of the night, Miz can’t tolerate referees being abused so that’s a DQ at 9:57. Actually not so fast as Ambrose comes out and says we’re not doing it like that. The match restarts and Balor hits a Sling Blade, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin at 12:31 (counting the break in between the falls).

Rating: C-. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of this going forward but it wasn’t the strongest match in the world. Then again that’s what you have to expect from Miz. While I’m not wild on having the #1 contender lose a match, you have to factor in the UK crowd. Not a bad match or anything and the more they build up Balor, the better things are for them.

Nia Jax scares Alexa Bliss again but they seem to be ok.

Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

Non-title with Nia Jax and Bayley are the respective seconds. Cole actually mentions Bliss and James working together on Smackdown a few months back in a fact I didn’t expect to hear. Bliss gets kicked around with ease to start and Bliss gets knocked out to the floor for an early break.

Back with Bliss working on an armbar and twisting Mickie down by said arm for two. Naturally Bliss gets in some trash talk but misses a knee drop onto the arm, allowing Mickie to start the comeback. The chokeshove is countered into a flapjack as Bayley and Nia get in a fight. Not that it matters as Bliss pulls Mickie off the top for a crash and the pin at 9:15.

Rating: D+. As usual Bliss’ mannerisms and heel work outshine her in-ring abilities and that’s a good thing. She’s absolutely nailing the character right now and that’s much more important than being able to do thirty different holds. Bliss vs. Bayley II should be good as they’re such a natural rivalry, though you can’t keep Nia away from the title forever.

Nia destroys Bayley and James post match.

Miz yells at Ambrose, who tells Miz he can go home tonight. That’s not cool with Miz, who has a special MizTV later. As a bonus, Ambrose can fight Bray Wyatt.

Samoa Joe says Seth Rollins is now living on his terms. Cue Rollins for the big brawl.

Kalisto vs. Braun Strowman

Braun says he’s not wrestling this match and then kicks Kalisto in the face. Cue Roman Reigns though and we’ll say it’s a no contest at thirty seconds.

Three straight Superman Punches put Strowman on the floor but he still manages to kick a charging Reigns in the chest. Reigns gets the sling off the bad arm and sends it into the post over and over. A bunch of chair shots knock Strowman into the crowd. What a hero that Reigns is. I mean, assuming you believe WWE still sees him as a major face and aren’t just trolling the heck out of us anymore.

Goldust fires R-Truth up before their Tag Team Turmoil match. It seems that Goldust isn’t sure about the team’s future.

Tag Team Turmoil

It’s basically a gauntlet match with two teams starting and the winning team advancing to face a new team. The last team standing faces the Hardys at Extreme Rules. Enzo Amore and Big Cass start with Cesaro and Sheamus and it’s Cass vs. Sheamus to get things going. An early Empire Elbow has Sheamus in trouble and Cass throws Enzo at both guys for good measure. A quick Irish Curse drops Enzo though (Enzo: “OW OW OW!”) and we take a break. Back with Enzo catching Cesaro with an enziguri, only to have Sheamus pull Cass off the apron. A Sharpshooter makes Enzo tap at 6:45 and it’s Heath Slater and Rhyno in third.

The brawl starts in the aisle with Slater and Rhyno getting the worse of it. Slater is thrown inside for a top rope clothesline from Sheamus, who also kicks Rhyno off the apron. A Brogue Kick ends Slater at 10:35. Anderson and Gallows are in fourth as we take a second break. Back again with Cesaro muscling Gallows up for a delayed suplex. Sheamus gives up the hot tag though and everything breaks down with all four being dropped in just a few seconds. White Noise gets two on Gallows and we take a third break. Back with Sheamus hitting Gallows with the Brogue Kick for the elimination at 22:33.

Golden Truth comes out as the last team and Goldust hammers on Sheamus to start. That doesn’t last long though as Sheamus takes him down and works on the leg, leaving Cesaro to grab the Sharpshooter. R-Truth makes the save and hits a quick Lie Detector on Cesaro. The ax kick gets two but Truth misses a charge and gets rolled up for the pin at 27:48.

Rating: D+. This was much more long than good and showed how dull the tag division is on Mondays. Sheamus and Cesaro are talented and WAY better than I was expecting them to be but this made them feel like faces instead of the big time heels they’re supposed to be. The big problem here though is I had a hard time buying the idea that ANYONE other than Sheamus and Cesaro getting the win, especially after their interactions with the Hardys over the last few weeks.

Golden Truth gets beaten down post match but the Hardys come out for the staredown.

Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe

They head straight to the floor to start the brawl with Joe throwing him around, only to have Seth catch him with a clothesline off the steps. The fight heads back inside with Joe taking over and grabbing a suplex for two. Joe gets in a hard shot to the knee though and Rollins crumbles to the floor as we take a break. Back with Joe dropping a big knee and telling Rollins not to listen to the fans.

The Koquina Clutch is broken up with a jawbreaker and Joe is sent outside for back to back suicide dives. A springboard clothesline gives Seth two but he walks into the snap powerslam for two. Joe can’t powerbomb him though and gets caught in the falcon’s arrow. A turnbuckle pad is pulled off but Seth gets two off a superkick anyway. It’s Rollins being sent chest first into the buckle behind the referee’s back. Joe does it again in front of the referee’s back for the DQ at 14:12.

Rating: C+. The ending hurts this a lot but these two definitely have chemistry. You can likely pencil in the third match for Extreme Rules and that could be quite the fight if they’re given the right gimmick. I like that they didn’t have the match end clean and after the first one ended on a fluke, there’s a good chance that the third match is the real payoff.

Joe chokes him out after the match.

TJP vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville is on commentary. TJP chills on the corner to start so Jack headbutts the heck out of him. Back in and TJP starts in on the leg but gets dropkicked in the face for his efforts. The Detonation Kick is broken up though and TJP grabs a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted but you can see how far Gallagher has fallen. He’s barely getting a reaction in his home country where he should look like a star. When you lose almost every match you have though, there’s only so much that the home country crowd can do for you.

TJP goes after Jack again and puts him in the kneebar until Austin Aries makes the save.

Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox

They slap each other in the face to start before Fox gets two off her northern lights suplex. We hit the chinlock and the fans start looking at something in the crowd. Back up and Banks hits her running knees for the pin at 2:57.

Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title with Miz and Maryse on commentary. Bray punches Dean in the head to start as Miz talks about wanting to return prestige to the Intercontinental Title. Dirty Deeds doesn’t work so Bray suplexes him on the floor instead. Back with Bray getting two off a DDT until Dean hits a hard clothesline. Ambrose sends him outside for the running clothesline off the barricade and here are Miz and Maryse to ringside.

Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and Dean hits the top rope elbow. Miz grabs the Intercontinental Title for a distraction so Dean suicide dives onto him. Bray is smart enough to go after the distracted Dean, allowing Miz to hit Ambrose in the back with the title. Sister Abigail finishes Ambrose at 15:12.

Rating: D+. This was a long match to end a very long show. I can live with a dirty finish to set up a title match next week and Miz is someone you can buy as a threat to the title. I’m surprised Ambrose has held the thing as long as he has but it’s time for him to lose it. Adding Bray to the mix could be interesting as well.

Miz poses over Ambrose and hits the catchphrase to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I know this show isn’t going to get glowing reviews and I certainly see why. The show really wasn’t terrible but it was VERY long and drawn out. You could tell that this was all about setting stuff up for next week instead of doing anything interesting here. I was bored more than once tonight but I can always give the wrestlers a bit of a break based on the jet lag and being thrown off their games like this. It’s not a bad show but it’s really, really sluggish and that’s not good.

Results

Finn Balor b. Miz – Coup de Grace

Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James – Bliss pulled James off the top

Kalisto vs. Braun Strowman went to a no contest when Roman Reigns interfered

Sheamus and Cesaro won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating Golden Truth

Seth Rollins b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Rollins was sent into the exposed turnbuckle

TJP b. Jack Gallagher – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox – Double knees to the chest

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – April 17, 2017: That Ambulance Died in Vain

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 17, 2017
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

Just in case we haven’t had enough going on of late, this is kind of a relaunch for Raw as we have a fresh roster at full strength for the first time. In addition to all the new names, the interesting question is will Roman Reigns be here. After Braun Strowman basically killed him last week, it should be interesting to see if he’ll be here tonight. If so, WWE is missing a major opportunity. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Strowman destroying Reigns last week, turning himself into the biggest unintentional face on the roster as a result.

Here’s Strowman to open things up. Strowman is proud of the beating he gave Roman last week, which saw Reigns have a separated shoulder and cracked ribs. Reigns will NOT be here tonight and that earns one heck of a YES chant. Strowman says he’s ready to tear through the locker room but here’s General Manager Kurt Angle to interrupt. The boss gets right to the point and makes Strowman vs. Reigns for Payback. As for tonight, Strowman has the night off but Braun wants more competition. That sounds like a threat.

Samoa Joe vs. Chris Jericho

Seth Rollins, who faces Joe at Payback, is on commentary. Joe goes right after Jericho to start but gets dropkicked out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Joe in control and hitting his chop to the shoulder blades. We hit the nerve hold for a bit, followed by the scoop powerslam for two. The crowd sounds rather energized tonight, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the lack of Reigns and Stephanie tonight.

Joe misses a middle rope backsplash (though his leg landed on the back of Jericho’s head), allowing Chris to grab the Walls. That doesn’t last long though as Jericho escapes and grabs the Koquina Clutch. Jericho tries the Bret Hart/Roddy Piper counter but Joe turns over and keeps the hold for the tap out at 9:08.

Rating: C+. They’re making Joe out to be a killer and that’s a great sign for his future. The fact that he just beat Jericho clean by submission shows that there’s something to him and WWE knows it. I’d love to see Joe vs. Lesnar way down the line and they’ve built him as the kind of guy who could give him a run for his money.

Post match Joe says he remembers the night he debuts and the noise the fans made. Joe worked for HHH and since he cares about his clients, he’ll take care of Seth at Payback. Seth says of course it was personal and Joe is going to learn that Payback is a b****.

Anderson and Gallows are on the way to the ring when they pass by the Drifter playing his guitar. They’ll be facing Golden Truth tonight but Strowman runs Golden Truth over and beats the heck out of them.

Strowman won’t leave.

Anderson and Gallows are in the ring with Anderson saying Golden Truth just got the United Airlines treatment. They came here for a fight so get someone out here.

Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

After Enzo calls this the realest night of the week, Cass hammers on Anderson with a right hand to the ribs putting Karl down. Cass keeps things up by throwing Enzo at both bald guys as we take a break. Back with Enzo in trouble (some things never change), including a DDT on the arm and an armbar from Gallows. A spinebuster makes things even worse but Enzo comes off the middle rope with the jumping DDT.

Cass comes in and cleans house with the usual, including a big boot to knock Gallows outside. It takes Cass outside as well though, leaving Enzo to try another jumping DDT. Anderson is ready this time though and catches him in midair before throwing him knees first at the top rope. That’s some rather unique offense but it’s enough to put Enzo away at 10:48.

Rating: C-. Well Anderson and Gallows certainly needed the win, especially with Wilder (and presumably the Revival as a whole) on the shelf for a few months. The match was good enough though that ending was a big odd. You would expect Anderson to use that as a setup for the finish but it got the pin so it doesn’t make a huge difference.

Video on Mickie James.

Video on Nia Jax.

Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Miz starts talking about the Superstar Shakeup but gets cut off by Dean Ambrose, the scheduled guest, before he can get very far. Ambrose sucks up to the Ohio crowd before ripping on Miz’s gear. Miz doesn’t want to hear it because he’s done everything he can to make the people in that locker room look like superstars while Ambrose makes them look like regular wrestlers.

It doesn’t matter though because people love Ambrose, who was #1 pick in the Draft and was WWE Champion at Summerslam. Then Dean wasted all that momentum when he was on the Kickoff Show six months later. Ambrose doesn’t care what he looks like because he loves coming out here in front of twenty people or a hundred thousand.

That’s why he’s the Intercontinental Champion, which he beat Miz for in the first place. Maryse says the title doesn’t make the man so Dean asks her to hold the mic. As Miz goes on another rant, Dean empties his pockets and takes his jacket off before hammering Miz down. Dirty Deeds doesn’t work though and Miz and Maryse run.

Strowman drags Kalisto through the back and throws him in a trashcan. Big Show runs Strowman over and says pick on someone your own size.

TJ Perkins vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville comes out to watch in what is billed as a special appearance. This brings out Austin Aries for “an even more special appearance”. They trade wristlocks to start with Gallagher taking him to the mat and cranking on both arms at the same time. Perkins does a bit of dabbing but can’t handle the fact that Gallagher pops up. William III is sent to the floor to Gallagher’s dismay but he misses a charge to the floor for a heck of a crash.

Back from a break with Gallagher flipping out of a suplex and grabbing a t-bone suplex of his own. The headbutt sends Perkins outside but it allows Jack to reclaim his trusty umbrella. That means the Mary Poppins dive but Perkins throws Gallagher into Aries. Austin is about to go inside, only to have Neville break it up. The distraction lets TJ kick the rope into Gallagher, setting up the Detonation Kick for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. This is what 205 Live had needed to do for months now: build up some other stop stars aside from just the champion and his #1 contender. Odds are this sets up a tag match, which should be rather entertaining if it’s given enough time to go somewhere. I liked this match more than I was expecting to and I’m glad they’re giving Perkins more of a push.

Titus O’Neil congratulates Apollo Crews on his impending fatherhood but Titus wants to know how Apollo is going to make an impact. The best idea Titus has is joining the Titus Brand. Maybe Crews could get into travel with the Apollo Cruise where they’ll dance to Apollo Blues. If that goes badly, they can go to the new law firm: Apollo Sues. Titus gives him a card but Crews doesn’t seem convinced.

The Hardys are glad to be back and look forward to working with the new talent. Sheamus and Cesaro come up to talk about how much they respect the Hardys but it’ll be an honor to win the titles from such legends.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

Winner gets Bayley at Payback. Nia cleans house to start but Bliss bails to the floor, allowing Mickie and Sasha to dropkick Nia outside. Sasha gets the better of it and sends Mickie outside for a dive onto all three as we take a break. Back with Alexa in control until she charges into a slam from Nia.

Jax slams all three on top of each other before swinging Mickie around in a cobra clutch. It’s off to a bearhug on Banks with Nia easily suplexing her way out of Sasha’s guillotine counter. Mickie armbars her way out of a choke but Nia throws her at Sasha in the corner. Alexa goes up top to try a dropkick but thinks twice when Nia stares her down. A missed charge sends Nia into the post, allowing everyone else to hammer on each other.

The double knees in the corner get two on Bliss with Nia making the save. Mickie gets pulled outside as well and it’s down to Sasha vs. Alexa. James has to break up a Bank Statement but here’s Nia to knock Mickie off the top. The Samoan drop plants Banks but Bliss runs in for the 13:44.

Rating: C+. The time brings this one down a bit though it was a lot of fun until the end. Bliss winning, especially in her hometown, is a nice touch though they need to stop having Jax get THIS close, only to slip up after dominating everything in sight. It’s the right call though as Banks vs. Bayley is still going to be a major showdown one day in the future.

Show says he’ll beat up Strowman.

Finn Balor vs. Curt Hawkins

Coup de Grace finishes Hawkins in 36 seconds. Balor isn’t even sweating.

Chris Jericho can’t stop thinking about his rematch with Kevin Owens and thinks America deserves a better face. If he wins the title back he heads to Smackdown, but it doesn’t matter if it’s Smackdown, Velocity, Sunday Night Heat or Nitro: the Friends of Jericho will follow him anywhere. Chris: “You hear them Tom?” Mike Rome: “It’s Mike, Chris.” We get the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck routine as Mike forgets his own name. Chris: “You know what happens when you don’t know your own name?” Elias Samson wanders up and plays his guitar so Jericho lets Mike/Tom off the list and puts Samson on instead.

Bray Wyatt asks what we’re afraid of. Maybe the unknown? The dark? Or the monster underneath our bed. Fear lives in his house and we hear about how much Bray wants to hear Randy Orton scream. I love Bray but these things are getting really tiresome as there’s no reason to believe he has a chance of winning and he’ll just keep plugging along like the loss means nothing.

Alicia Fox and Dana Brooke are watching clips from 205 Live when Emma comes up to say Dana was laughing at Alicia getting powder thrown in her face all week long. Fox doesn’t want to be Dana’s friend anymore. Dana calls Emma out for lying but Emma says that’s what she gets for standing on her own two feet.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro

Cesaro takes him down to start but gets sent to the floor for a clothesline from the apron. Jeff seems to be banged up on the floor and gets caught with the running uppercut. Back from a break with Cesaro getting two and having his chinlock broken in a hurry. Jeff’s knee seems to be fine but Cesaro nails him with the springboard corkscrew elbow for two.

Jeff fights up and gets the same off the Whisper in the Wind, followed by the Twisting Stunner, which isn’t the Twist of Fate but you can’t expect the announcers to be able to really call the moves properly. I mean, it might run them afoul of JBL and that just sounds scary. Anyway, the Swanton is good for the pin at 13:01.

Rating: C. They billed this as a dream match which is quite the stretch, though I do appreciate WWE treating Jeff like a legend. I know it’s been nearly ten years but Jeff is a former three time World Champion. You have to treat someone like that as something special and it’s a good sign that WWE is doing just that.

Golden Truth and Kalisto are injured but here are Heath Slater and Rhyno, the latter of whom is eating cheese whiz and crackers. Slater is VERY excited about being back on Raw but they both hide when Strowman comes by. Rhyno even dropped his crackers!

Big Show vs. Braun Strowman

The brawl starts in the aisle with Strowman tossing him into the barricade. Show sends him into it as well and we actually start the match. A baseball slide of all things puts Strowman on the floor but he comes back with a running dropkick of his own. Strowman gets in a suplex and drops an elbow as they’re moving in very slow motion here.

Show escapes the powerslam and hits a splash in the corner. The chokeslam gets two and Strowman’s powerslam is good for the same. Braun gets crotched on top but knocks Show away, only to dive into the KO Punch for two. With nothing else working, Show goes up top but gets superplexed down……and they break the ring for the no contest 12:36.

Rating: D. Nope. I know the ring breaking spot is going to get a lot of attention but this COMPLETELY missed the point of the match and did nothing to push Strowman. You know who looked good here? Show, who hung move for move with a guy who TURNED OVER AN AMBULANCE LAST WEEK.

We’ve already established that Strowman, who didn’t even win here, can beat Show and be the bigger monster but that wasn’t even shown here. No, what we saw was Big Show getting to prove that he’s on equal footing with Strowman, which doesn’t make Strowman look unique. That makes Strowman look like he has an equal, which completely misses the point.


Strowman gets up and poses, which I guess is WWE’s version of a follow up, to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a bit of a rough one as they certainly did a lot of stuff but the Strowman stuff felt really bad. Beating up Kalisto and Golden Truth and then going to a draw with Big Show doesn’t exactly make me think he can beat Reigns or Brock Lesnar (the guy that regularly destroys Show).

The wrestling wasn’t great but the show definitely felt like it was moving around at a faster pace, which is an upgrade over some weeks. There’s good stuff to be seen here, but Payback is really holding things up. You have one of the new Raw guys being stuck waiting to face the Smackdown Champion in a match he has almost no chance of winning and Jericho teasing going to Smackdown while losing to Joe.

There’s enough stuff on here to make me look forward to the pay per view but I’m not wild on some of the directions. Strowman’s booking made my head hurt and Hardy vs. Cesaro wasn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I like Bliss getting the title shot and Joe being treated like a monster. Overall though, Strowman was the focus here and that REALLY bombed, but at least Big Show looks like an equal to the unstoppable monster.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Chris Jericho – Koquina Clutch

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Anderson threw Amore knees first into the corner

TJ Perkins b. Jack Gallagher – Devastation Kick

Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax, Mickie James and Sasha Banks – Samoan Drop to James

Finn Balor b. Curt Hawkins – Coup de Grace
Jeff Hardy b. Cesaro – Swanton Bomb

Big Show vs. Braun Strowman went to a no contest when the ring broke

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania XXXIII Previews: Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Anderson/Gallows

Gimmickery for the sake of gimmickery.

Anderson and Gallows are defending and for reasons purely of “it’s Wrestlemania”, this is a ladder match. Instead of having Amore and Big Cass win the titles for one of the loudest pops of the night the following day, let’s cram a gimmick into this match that isn’t interesting in the first place. The key to this match is Amore, who can be a javelin with Big Cass throwing him all over the place. Assuming he doesn’t suffer another horrible injury, everything should be fun.

That being said, I can’t imagine Anderson and Gallows keep the titles if DIY is on the way up. Those guys taking the titles on Monday would be a better option, though I have a bad feeling we’ll get Amore and Big Cass winning them here when it’s crammed onto the opening match and forgotten an hour later. I’ll take Big Cass and Amore winning, but I’m far from confident in this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6