I was reading back through some of the recent reviews/comments and I’ve come to a conclusion: I’m WAY too bitter about WWE at the moment. I know I rip on it a lot but I really don’t like getting this upset about wrestling of any form. Even late WCW was horrible but it was more of a head shaking horrible than “I really don’t want to see Wrestlemania” kind of anger. Yeah, Raw sucks right now but that doesn’t mean there aren’t good things going on. Today, I want to take a quick look at some of the things I really do like in WWE right now, because there certainly are a few of them. Let’s get to it.
These are in no particular order.
First up, we have Kidd and Cesaro. These guys have worked very, very hard in the last few months and deserve to be rewarded. At first it looked like Ascension was destined to get the big moment at Wrestlemania, but barring a sudden switch, Kidd and Cesaro are going into the biggest show of the year with the belts. They haven’t been a team that long but they deserve this spot and I’m really glad they’re getting it. They need a deeper division to defend against, but I’d love to see them have the belts until at least the summer. Hopefully they don’t drop them back to the Usos to tie into Rikishi’s Hall of Fame induction.
Randy Savage is going into the WWE Hall of Fame. No matter how you look at it, that just feels right.
I really like how Ryback has been treated lately. I was always a fan of his and there needs to be a simple monster on the good side. He’s not likely to get back into the World Title hunt for years, but it’s really refreshing to see him getting back to form instead of just shouting RYBACK RULES over and over again.
Just touching on the main event scene a bit, it’s nice to see that the Philadelphia crowd wasn’t indicative of how the masses view Reigns. No he isn’t the next coming of Steve Austin (the more I think of it, he’s more Diesel. They even look a bit alike) but he’s far from hated the way Batista was last year. That’s encouraging for WWE because it means he isn’t a total lost cause and they could fix him up with the right story and character development. He has a great base but he needs more molding.
Daniel Bryan is in the ring. Nine months ago, we really didn’t know if that was ever going to happen again.
Lana. The camera doesn’t do those legs justice and she looks even better with her hair down. Seriously, she’s just awesome.
Seth Rollins and Jon Stewart had an awesome segment that was far better than I think most of us were expecting. How cool is it that it’s Rollins getting that spot and not say, Santino? Seth more than carried his end of it and that’s exactly why I’m looking forward to him as a top star in the future.
When he’s in the ring, Brock Lesnar is still a sight to behold. The guy is the definition of a monster and he ranges somewhere from masterpiece to destruction almost every time he’s in the ring. Yeah he’s absent a lot, but it makes those appearances all the better.
Stephanie McMahon. When she isn’t standing up for Andre the Giant (I’m leaving it alone), she’s AWESOME as the evil boss. The fact that she’s a really good looking woman helps too. She was always attractive when she was younger but she’s gotten a lot better with age.
Axelmania. I mean DANG this thing is glorious. The clock is a brilliant idea and Axel has gone from the jobbiest jobber this side of JTG to one of the few saving graces of this past week’s show. I know it isn’t leading anywhere special but I’m digging it while it lasts.
Sheamus is coming back. Screw you guys, I’m still a fan. Tell me you wouldn’t see him as a MAJOR improvement over Kane or Big Show.
The Bella Twins. No I don’t like their wrestling or personalities, but they can fill out some tight clothing. While we’re at it, Summer Rae is a great looking blonde and there’s something about a pale British chick in limited clothing. I think I’m out of main roster Divas to fawn over now. Oh and Alicia Fox is good looking. There now I think I’m done.
R-Truth being insane is still a good thing. It’s not exactly “When Little Jimmy Comes Marching Home”, but him being all over the top and stealing the belt is a nice touch.
Cena vs. Rusev is a good feud and a great way to elevate the title. It’s time for Cena to step away from the main event for a bit and it’s working well so far. I don’t think Rusev keeps the title at Wrestlemania, but Cena as US Champion is going to do good things for the belt.
Santino isn’t around. Isn’t that just a nice feeling?
Sting however is around at times. That’s one of those things you never thought you would see but it’s still cool.
I’m rambling now so I’ll cut it off here. There’s still a lot of great things in WWE at the moment and it’s not good to get bogged down by all the horrible things that are going on right now. Enjoy wrestling for what it is and never forget that at the end of the day, you’re watching grown men in limited clothing grappling on a mat. It’s not something that needs to be taken so seriously.
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2013: He Came Home
Royal Rumble 2013 Date: January 27, 2013
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 13,00
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
This show was only a year ago and I can barely remember anything about it. Aside from the Rumble the big matches are the Rock challenging CM Punk for the WWE Title in the most obvious ending ever and Alberto Del Rio defending his newly won World Heavyweight Championship against Big Show in a last man standing match. Other than that we’ve only got HELL NO vs. the Rhodes Scholars to complete the card. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: US Title: The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro
Cesaro is defending. This is just after Flair passed the Figure Four to Miz, starting the worst period of his career. Miz grabs a headlock to start and gets two off an elbow to the jaw. The headlock takes Cesaro down to the mat but he fights up and grabs one of his own. Back up and Miz tries a leapfrog but gets caught in midair with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. The champion takes over and cranks on both of Miz’s arms before getting two off a Michinoku Driver.
A hard European uppercut sets up the gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to the double arm. Back up again and Miz slips out of a slam and hooks the Reality Check for two. There’s the running clothesline in the corner and Miz goes up but hurts his knee on the top rope ax handle. Cesaro gets caught with his feet on the ropes, allowing Miz to get two off a rollup. Antonio misses a running knee in the corner but is still able to roll away from the Figure Four. Cesar takes him to the floor and rams Miz into the metal underneath the ring. Miz is out cold so Cesaro Neutralizes him for the pin to retain.
Rating: D+. Miz just doesn’t work in a lot of these matches and the Figure Four doesn’t work in the slightest. Thankfully he wouldn’t be featured very prominently for a while as there was just nothing to him for the most part. Cesaro still needs to get a push as he’s more talented and marketable than half the roster but instead we get people like Miz.
The opening video is about time passing and how no one has enough. This ties into Punk’s time as champion with Rock saying the reign ends tonight.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
Last man standing match, which is a rematch with the same stipulations from when Alberto won the title a few weeks ago. Del Rio turned the announce table on top of Big Show so Big Show turned it on top of him a few weeks later. Alberto is shown in the back and he runs into Bret Hart for no apparent reason whatsoever. Bret says Alberto reminds him of a Mexican version of himself. Alberto calls Bret a Canadian Del Rio and Ricardo gushes, earning him Bret’s sunglasses. What a bizarre cameo.
Some hard chops have Del Rio in early trouble and a slam gets a five count. Alberto chops away but jumps off the middle rope right into a chop to change control right back. The champion dropkicks the giant’s knee out but the low superkick actually knocks Big Show up from his knees to his feet. A hurricanrana and a seated senton put Big Show down and Alberto gets a breather. It’s amazing how much more interesting Del Rio is by doing this lucha stuff instead of his arm work. The arm stuff is good but this is such a nice change of pace.
Big Show blocks the armbreaker with one arm and slams Del Rio down, sending him outside. Del Rio gets back in as Big Show gets a chair but the champion dropkicks him in the ribs to knock it out of his hands. A series of chair shots (crowd: “SI! SI! SI!”) has Big Show down but Alberto dives into a chokeslam for an eight count. We head outside again with Del Rio getting chopped to the floor with ease. This is a very slow paced match so far.
A pair of low blows puts Big Show down in the aisle but he’s up at nine. Show hits something resembling a DDT on the floor before sending Del Rio into the set. He rips a piece of the set, resembling a light tube, and blasts Del Rio over the back. Since this is WWE there’s a table readily available and Big Show takes the champion on top of the set for a chokeslam through the table. The bump looked awesome but he’s again on his feet at nine.
The beating takes Del Rio back to the ring and Show loads up the WMD. Alberto sees it coming and rolls outside, only to have Big Show throw Ricardo around for fun. Big Show misses a charge through the barricade (clearly heavily padded) for five but a long series of chair shots has him down again. Del Rio crushes the arm between the steps and a chair, but Alberto follows up with a fire extinguisher blast to the face for no apparent reason. Back in and the armbreaker goes on, but Ricardo ups the ante by duct taping Big Show’s legs to the ropes. The giant can’t get up and Alberto retains the title.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but it was very slowly paced and the ending made Del Rio look more clever than tough. It also doesn’t help that the match was the same gimmick they did less than a month ago. Face Alberto was a nice guy but they cut the cord just six months after this. Not bad, but Del Rio winning the title here would have been much better.
Send Slim Jims to the military!
Ziggler isn’t worried about being in the Rumble and AJ threatens Matt Striker with Big E. Langston for implying Ziggler can’t win. Langston does one of the most mind blowing imitations of an annoying reporter while asking Ziggler for his thoughts on the main event. Dolph has little of note to say but no one was hearing him after Big E.’s bit anyway.
Cesaro says he’ll continue the streak of non-Americans winning the Rumble.
The Prime Time Players……WE’RE GETTING RUMBLE PROMOS!!!! Anyway they say anyone that thinks they’ll eliminate either of them is getting a penalty flag.
Orton says he’s perfect for the Rumble because it’s every man for himself.
Cena is ready for the Rumble because it means he can be champion again.
Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett says he’ll restore credibility to the Rumble.
Sheamus says he won the Rumble last year and he’ll do it again tonight.
Ryback isn’t any catchphrase and he doesn’t eat Fruity Pebbles, but he’ll see food every 90 seconds. Feed him more.
We recap Miz vs. Cesaro on the pre-show.
Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars
The Scholars are challenging. Cody kicks Bryan in the ribs as Cole references Queen lyrics. Bryan spins out of a wristlock and the fans chant for Cody’s mustache. Cody’s leapfrog is countered into a surfboard and it’s off to Kane for a low dropkick and a two count. Rhodes scores with a dropkick of his own and drives Kane into the corner for the tag off to Sandow. Kane easily powers Sandow into the corner because, you know, he’s Damien Sandow and it’s off to Bryan for the YES Kicks.
JBL rants about Cole and Lawler hugging as Kane kicks Sandow in the face, knocking him out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT takes out the challengers but Cody low bridges Bryan to the floor to take over. Back in and a half crab has Daniel in trouble but he reverses into a small package to escape. Damien comes in again and drops an elbow for two before dropping the Wind-Up Elbow.
After some knees to the back it’s Cody in again but he charges into a boot in the corner. Sandow breaks up a hot tag attempt and Cody puts Bryan in an over the shoulder backbreaker. Daniel slides down to escape and makes the tag to Kane. Sandow is tossed around like a rag doll but a Cody distraction prevents the top rope clothesline. Kane grabs both guys by the throat and Bryan tags himself in. The Scholars double suplex Kane but Bryan shoves Cody into a chokeslam and Daniel YES Locks Sandow to retain.
Rating: C. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw around this time which means it was fine. The Scholars were a nice idea for a team but it was clear that they had no chance at this point given how low their individual stocks were. Kane and Bryan gelled perfectly well as a team and Bryan would get far bigger very soon.
Rumble By The Numbers which I’ve typed many times already.
HELL NO celebrates in the back when Vickie Guerrero comes up and gives them their Rumble numbers. Daniel shows Kane his but Kane won’t show Bryan.
We look at the Royal Rumble Fan Fest which is another name for Axxess. This included a tournament of NXT wrestlers for a spot in the Rumble, won by Bo Dallas.
Royal Rumble
Ziggler is #1 which he picked (the other option was #2) after winning a Beat the Clock Challenge on Raw. Dolph says he’ll win and doesn’t care who he faces first, bringing out a returning Chris Jericho at #2. This was a complete shock and the roof is blown off the building. Also remember that Ziggler beat Jericho to send him out of the company to give us some history. The clock is at 90 seconds between entrants this year.
Jericho is quickly sent to the apron but comes back with a top rope ax handle. Now it’s Dolph on the apron as the fans tell Jericho he still has it. When did Jericho ever come close to losing it? A superplex brings Ziggler back into the ring and Cody Rhodes is in at #3. Jericho hammers away on him but Ziggler gets in a cheap shot as the double teaming begins. Chris knocks Ziggler down and puts Cody in the Walls but Dolph makes the save.
Dolph catapults Jericho throat first into the bottom rope as Kofi Kingston is in at #4. Kofi immediately speeds things up and pounds away on Cody but can’t hit Ziggy with Trouble in Paradise. Ziggler is thrown to the apron and all four guys try to eliminate each other at the same time in the same spot. Santino Marella is #5 and he sends all four to the apron before loading up the Cobra. Everybody is back in and even though Santino takes Kofi down with the sock, it’s Cody backdropping Marella out.
Drew McIntyre of 3MB is #6 and gets to fight Kofi as everyone else takes a breather. Back up and it’s time to lay on the ropes while trying to eliminate people. Jericho is sent over the ropes but he keeps his feet off the ground and gets back in. Titus O’Neil is in at #7 to add some power, including taking Cody and Kofi down with a double clothesline. Cole finally tells us that the bark is a shout out to his fraternity from Florida. Thank you for explaining that to us after two years.
Jericho throws out McIntyre but can’t do the same to Ziggler as Goldust is #8. Cody gets ready for the showdown and the fans are WAY into this. They trade the kneeling uppercuts and Goldie stomps on Cody for a bit. The fans chant for Goldust and it’s David Otunga (remember him?) is in at #9. The announcers ignore the match to talk about the commentators being in the Rumble last year as people start to pair off.
Nothing much happens until Heath Slater is in at #10. That gives us Ziggler, Jericho, Rhodes, Kingston, O’Neil, Goldust, Otunga and Slater at the moment. Slater fires off right hands to Kofi as Jericho calls spots to Ziggler. Dolph gets stuck on the apron again and Sheamus is #11 to clear out some bodies. He destroys everyone with his usual stuff before sending Titus to the apron for the ten forearms. Otunga is thrown onto Titus to get rid of O’Neil before ten forearms and a Brogue Kick get rid of the lawyer. Tensai, still the Japanese lunkhead, is #12.
Everybody goes after Tensai to make a big cluster in the corner. That goes nowhere at all so Brodus Clay comes in at #13. We get a Tons of Funk preview before Goldust backdrops Cody to the apron, only to get pulled to the apron as well. Cody gets back in and sends Goldust into the post for the elimination and a lot of booing. Rey Mysterio is #14 to make the crowd happy again. Ziggler and Jericho get quick 619s and the top rope splash crushes Jericho. Things slow down a bit until we reach the halfway point with Darren Young at #15.
A bunch of guys join forces to dump Brodus and Kofi puts out Tensai a few seconds later. Now we get to the part that everybody was waiting on as Kofi is knocked off the apron, only to land on Tensai’s back. He jumps onto the announcers’ table as he tries to figure this out. Why he doesn’t just jump two feet to get onto the steps is beyond me. Bo Dallas is #16 as this is going on. Instead of the steps, Kofi gets JBL’s office chair and pogos his way back to the ring. Kingston pulls Darren out of the ring but gets caught with the Disaster Kick for the elimination before he can get back inside.
Godfather gives us the nostalgia pop at #17 and is dropkicked out by Ziggler four seconds later. He seems ok with that and leaves with his women. The whole point was the entrance anyway so I have no issue with that. Wade Barrett is in at #18 as the ring is getting too full. Everything slows down again and John Cena is #19 to clear out some tired people. Everybody gets ready for him so Cena comes a charging. John fights them all off and throws out Slater and Cody but can’t dump Jericho.
Damien Sandow is #20, giving us Ziggler, Jericho, Sheamus, Mysterio, Dallas, Barrett, Cena and Sandow. Mysteiro and Barrett fight to the apron and a big forearm puts Rey out. Sheamus goes right after Wade as Jericho tries to put Cena in the Walls. Daniel Bryan is #21 and fires off kicks to Sandow. Now it’s Barrett getting the kicks as everyone else is down. Sheamus and Bryan try to put Jericho out but he slides back in under the ropes.
Antonio Cesaro is in at #22 and gets in a fight with Sheamus as the fans start the dueling Cena chants. Everybody is back up now and Great Khali is #23. It’s chops all around until things calm a bit. Kane comes in at #24 to fire things up again (get it?) but the ring is too full. It gets even worse with Zach Ryder coming in at #25 but HELL NO dumps Khali. Bryan dumps Kane but Cesaro dumps Bryan into Kane’s arms. Daniel: YES! Kane shouts no and drops Bryan for the elimination in a funny bit.
Randy Orton is #26 and it’s powerslams all around. Ziggler and Dallas get a double Elevated DDT and it’s an RKO for Ryder, followed by the elimination. Jinder Mahal gets lucky #27 as Cesaro lifts Cena up, only to be eliminated himself. Ziggler gets launched to the ropes but slides back in as Miz is #28. He gets in a fight with Cesaro in the aisle and limps into the ring to sell the ankle injury from earlier. Sheamus dumps Mahal and Sin Cara is #29.
Cara tries an enziguri on Ziggler which misses by four inches but Ziggler sells it anyway. Bo Dallas pulls Barrett out in an elimination that should have led further than it did. Miz sends Jericho to the apron as Barrett pulls Dallas out from the floor. Ryback is #30 to give us a final grouping of Ryback, Ziggler, Jericho, Sheamus, Cena, Sandow, Orton, Miz and Sin Cara. Damien is out first and Sin Cara quickly follows. Miz tries to power Ryback out and is tossed as well to get us down to six. Jericho is somehow still alive and hits a Lionsault on Cena but the springboard dropkick doesn’t eliminate Sheamus.
Ziggler backdrops Jericho to the apron and superkicks him out (missed as well but he’s spent at this point) but walks into an RKO. There’s one for Cena as well and Sheamus gets the third. That leaves Ryback to fight Orton but the monster gets taken down with an Elevated DDT. Ryback fights off the RKO and clotheslines Randy out to get us down to four. Ziggler DDTs Cena down but a Brogue Kick puts Dolph on the floor.
It’s Sheamus, Ryback and Cena with Ryback getting double suplexed down. Cena and Sheamus make things serious by LOOKING AT THE SIGN. John takes over but Ryback runs him over with a clothesline. Sheamus escapes the Shell Shock, looks at the sign, and hits White Noise on Ryback. The Brogue Kick is countered with a backdrop to eliminate Sheamus and we’re down to two.
They LOOK AT THE SIGN and do their signature taunts before Ryback spinebusters Cena down. The Meathook is countered into the STF and Ryback passes out, leaving him as dead weight. Ryback fights out of the corner and Cena’s head into the mat. He loads up a powerslam but Cena slips out the back and shoves Ryback out for the win and title shot at Wrestlemania.
Rating: B. It’s a good but not great Rumble. That being said, there was almost no other option to win here, even though it set up the rematch that no one wanted to see. There’s certainly some good stuff in it and there were no down spots, but you would expect more big moments than we got here.
Coming Home ad for Wrestlemania. That still should have been Wrestlemania XXX.
We recap CM Punk vs. The Rock. It’s a basic story: Punk has been champion for 434 days and Rock is getting a title shot because he’s the Rock, which was kind of a lame reason, especially when the shot was announced six months ago. That began a countdown that made everything Punk did meaningless, because there was no way it would be anyone but Rock taking the belt from him here. Yeah Punk got in some shots on Rock before the match, but this was as much of a layup as you could get. Also if Shield or anyone interferes, Punk is stripped of the title.
Rock, after waiting for them to chant his name, says he isn’t worried about Shield, even though they busted up his lung recently. He goes on a rant about how many hard things he’s been through, but redeems himself a bit by talking about his mom getting cancer but beating it to be here tonight. Punk has said that the people don’t count but Rock says every single one of them count to him. He reaches his hand out to everyone that believes in the Rock so he can get their power, if you smell what he’s cooking.
Raw World Title: The Rock vs. CM Punk
Punk of course has Heyman with him. He charges right into the brawl and actually pounds Rock down into the corner. A quick Rock Bottom is countered but Punk is sent outside. Rock follows him outside and sends the champion into the barricade before loading up the announce table. Punk comes back with a shot to the ribs and puts the table back together in a great bit. Back in and Rock scores with more right hands to knock Punk to the floor again.
Punk is whipped into the barricade one more time but he gets a boot up to stop a charging Bull. He finishes fixing the announce table instead of following up on Rock before dropping Rock ribs first on the barricade. They head inside again for a body vice from CM followed by a knee to the ribs for two. Off to a freaky looking hold where Punk pins Rock’s shoulders down but pulls back on his head to crank on the shoulders and back.
More choking follows and a knee to the back has Rock on the apron, followed by a springboard dropkick to send him outside. Punk tries a top rope ax handle to take Rock down but injures his knee in the process. Rock scores with some kicks to the knee but the champion easily sends him out to the floor to stop the comeback. Back in and Punk misses the springboard clothesline and reinjures the knee, giving Rock his opening.
A DDT gets one on Punk but he fights out of the Rock Bottom. The GTS is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice in a nice sequence. Rock rolls over into a cradle, forcing Punk to let go of the hold. Back up and tries the Rock Bottom but Punk counters into a rollup for two, only to be countered into a low seated Sharpshooter. Punk is next to the rope so naturally he takes thirty seconds to get the break.
Rock takes him to the floor and loads up the announce table again. They fight on top but Rock counters a GTS attempt into what was supposed to be a Rock Bottom but was really more like the table collapsing with Rock’s arm around Punk’s chest. Rock comes up holding his knee and both guys make it back in at an eight count. Punk scores with a high kick but both guys are down.
Back up and Rock wins a slugout before scoring with the spinebuster. He loads up the People’s Elbow and there go the lights. Cole can see Shield pulling Rock to the floor and powerbombing him through the table. The lights come back up and Rock is laid out as the referee has no idea what’s going on. The announcers try to tell Mike Chioda what happened and Punk feigns innocence.
He throws Rock back in for the pin and celebrates but here’s Vince to say Punk is stripped of the title for the interference. Rock says no and to restart the match. The bell rings again and Punk stomps away as JBL threatens to put Cole through a table for playing cheerleader. The Macho Elbow gets two but the GTS is countered into a spinebuster, setting up the People’s Elbow to end Punk’s reign.
Rating: B. It’s another good match but it felt like they were dancing around for twenty three minutes before we got to the obvious ending. The Shield stuff was a decent fake out but it really didn’t need to be there. Rock winning was obvious though and that really put a ceiling on how high this was going to get.
Rock celebrates for about three minutes to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Yeah it’s a good show overall, but the major problem is obvious: there was no other possibly ending other than Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania 29 and almost everyone knew it. The show is definitely entertaining and actually really good at times, but it was so telegraphed up and down the card that it offers almost no excitement at all, even on the initial viewing. Still though, worth checking out if you have nothing else to do.
Ratings Comparison
Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
Original: B
Redo: C-
HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars
Original: C
Redo: C
Royal Rumble
Original: C+
Redo: B
The Rock vs. CM Punk
Original: B
Redo: B
Overall Rating
Original: A-
Redo: B
That original overall rating is too high for what I gave everything else. Also I think the original last man standing match rating is closer to the accurate one. It just didn’t hold up as well on a second viewing, but it was good.
Royal Rumble 2012 Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry
Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.
Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.
Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.
The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.
Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.
Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.
Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly
The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.
Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.
We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.
Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.
Kane vs. John Cena
This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.
Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.
The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.
Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.
The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.
BE A STAR!
Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.
We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.
Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay
This is right after Brodus re-debuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.
Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!
We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler
Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.
Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.
The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.
The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.
Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.
Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.
Rumble by the Numbers:
30 Superstars
1 winner
31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble
21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania
695 entrants who have been eliminated
39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)
13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show
421,883 people who have attended the Rumble
62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record
3 wins for Austin
1 second that Santino lasted in 2009
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each
27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four
55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania
Royal Rumble
The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.
R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.
Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.
Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.
Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.
Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.
Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.
Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.
Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!
Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.
We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.
Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.
Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.
Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.
As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.
The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.
After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.
Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.
Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.
Ratings Comparison
Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina
Royal Rumble 2011 Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
This is a weird Rumble as for one year only they tried having forty people in the Rumble instead of the usual thirty. It didn’t quite work so they never tried it again, but for this year as a result there are only four matches on the whole card: two world titles, a Divas match and the Rumble itself. This is one of those rumbles I barely remember. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is exactly what you would expect.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler
Edge is defending and if he uses the spear here, Ziggler wins the title because Vickie is a crooked boss. Dolph takes over early and pounds on Edge in the corner but gets whipped across the ring to shift momentum. This is during Cole’s heel phase so he’s very annoying at this point. A gutbuster gets two for the champion and he takes things to the floor. Ziggler is rammed into the apron and the barricade for good measure as Edge stands tall.
As they come back in, Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker for two and hits an elbow to the chest. Off to a chinlock as Dolph stays on the neck. The fans cheer for Edge of course and he fights up, only to get caught in a middle rope sunset flip. Edge comes back with a slingshot into the buckle and now Dolph is in trouble. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Edge but Dolph hits another neckbreaker for two of his own.
Off to the chinlock until Edge rolls out to the apron. Ziggler knocks him into the barricade and it’s back inside for the chinlock. Edge fights up but they both try cross bodies to put both guys down. Ziggy misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and Edge catches him in a flapjack to put both guys down again. Edge counters the Fameasser into a sitout powerbomb for two more but he can’t follow up.
The champion goes up but has to fight out of a superplex. Ziggler gets knocked down and hit by a top rope cross body, only for Ziggler to roll through for two. Now the fans start cheering for Ziggler as he gets two off a dropkick. The Zig Zag misses and Edge busts out the Edgecator of all things. Dolph grabs the rope so Edge dives at him on said ropes, only to clothesline himself on them.
The Fameasser gets two and both guys are down again. A big boot puts Ziggler down for about the seventh time and Edge gets into spear position. Like an idiot, Vickie reminds him of this, allowing Dolph to catch Edge in the sleeper. Edge rolls out of it and hits the Impaler for two as Vickie pulls the referee out of the ring. Vickie slaps Edge but the champion dodges a charging Dolph into a rollup for two.
She slaps Edge AGAIN so here’s Kelly Kelly to take Vickie down. In the melee the Zig Zag hits for two and a BIG pop on the kickout. There’s the sleeper and while trying to escape it, Edge knocks the referee down. Edge escapes the hold with a kind of Stunner and realizes there’s no referee or Vickie so there’s the spear to Ziggler. The referee wakes up and Edge hits an Unprettier to retain the title.
Rating: A-. Good stuff here again although the ending is kind of stupid. Eventually Edge would be stripped of the title for using the spear (I can’t remember if it was here or another match) and Ziggler would have a stupid 45 minutes or less reign. I don’t think anyone, including Dolph, considers that a real reign but hey, Ziggler is a former world champion so we have to respect him, right WWE?
We recap Orton vs. Miz. The champion Miz cashed in MITB on Orton back in November and beat him in a tables match at TLC. Tonight it’s an actual match which means Miz is likely in trouble.
Miz says he’ll win.
Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Miz has Riley with him here. Orton pounds away to start as Cole is already on his knees to suck Miz off. The champ is knocked out to the floor and gets sent into the barricades a few time. Back in and Orton kicks him in the face before stomping away a bit. Cole is already on one of his rants about how noble Miz is in comparison to Edge. Orton chokes on the ropes a bit as Cole says that Orton should have stated in advance that he wanted to brawl.
Riley finally guillotines Orton on the top rope to give Miz a chance. Orton shrugs the offense off and slugs Miz down, only to miss a running knee in the corner. Cole stays on his rant about how awesome Miz is as Riley interferes some more. Cole high fives Riley and Miz hooks a chinlock for a bit. Striker continues his brilliance by saying Miz is working on the midsection to set up the SKULL Crushing Finale. A running knee to Orton’s face gets two and it’s back to the chinlock.
Randy blocks a German Suplex and elbows Miz down to break the momentum. Miz comes right back with a big boot to the face for two and the champion is getting frustrated. Miz goes up and gets crotched right back down, allowing Orton to hit his daddy’s superplex for two. Randy starts his comeback with the clotheslines and the backbreaker to send Miz to the apron. Why would you go there against Orton? Perhaps it’s because he can backdrop Orton out to the floor to counter and have Riley stomp away a bit.
A top rope ax handle gets two for Miz so he pounds away on Orton’s head. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights out of this one much faster. Not that it matters though as Orton gets sent through the ropes and out to the floor where Miz catapults him into the post. Orton gets back in at nine and is all fired up, only to get punched into the corner. Randy comes back with a clothesline and the powerslam before hitting the circle stomp.
Riley breaks up something like a powerbomb, allowing Miz to hit a modified Reality Check for two. Both finishers are countered and Orton hits an Angle Slam of all things for two. I vaguely remember him using that around this time. Miz’s attempt at walking out fails but he gets in something we can’t see for two back inside.
Randy gets two off a rollup and there’s the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but here’s the New Nexus for a distraction. Riley tries to come in but in a great looking spot, Orton LAUNCHES Riley over the top (and over the referee) onto Nexus. The RKO hits but Punk runs in with a GTS to keep the belt on Miz. Cole literally jumps for joy.
Rating: B. I was digging this match a lot and the ending would wind up making a lot more sense than it does on paper here. While Punk would obviously go on to feud with Punk for a few months, Miz would face Jerry Lawler of all people at Elimination Chamber before moving on to the main event of Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though and one of Miz’s best matches ever. Gee you hear that a lot when Orton is the opponent don’t you?
Dashing Cody Rhodes will not be here tonight because of his shattered face. This would lead to Dr. Cody Doom which was pretty awesome and then wound up being wasted.
Fans say who they think is going to win the Rumble.
Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool
Nattie beat them in a handicap match to win the title and this is the rematch. Before anything gets going though, we have an e-mail from the anonymous GM. We’re going to make it a four way just for the sake of making it a four way and we want to have a new champion.
Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya
Nattie is defending as I said and this is one fall to a finish. Laycool goes after both other chicks to start and Eve gets double teamed. Natalya comes back with a slingshot to send Layla into Michelle as Matt actually tries to analyze this match. We get down to Laycool squaring off but before they do anything, Eve and Nattie come back in.
Layla breaks up the Sharpshooter on Eve so Natalya puts the Sharpshooter on BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE. Layla hits the neckbreaker on Eve to send her to the floor but Michelle kicks Eve out to the floor. Michelle misses a bit boot and takes Layla’s head off by mistake. She and the champ fight to the floor, allowing Eve to sneak in and steal the pin with a moonsault.
Rating: D+. That might become my default rating for Divas matches as most of them fall into the same category: not bad but nothing worth seeing at all for the most part. The double Sharpshooter was cool but it’s a five second sequence out of a five minute match. Also, why am I supposed to be excited about Eve winning the title when she wasn’t even important enough to put into the match in the first place?
Michelle is mad because she had Natalya covered at the same time but the referee didn’t see it.
A cleanshaven Daniel Bryan is excited for the Rumble because he could win. He’s with Gail at this point and the Bellas come up to offer their condolences for trying to hook up with Bryan. The Bellas imply they’re better looking than Gail and a fight breaks out.
Rumble By The Numbers time!
40 entrants
1 winner
24 winners
656 losing entrants
39 eliminations by Shawn, a record
26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed
183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record
13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record
62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble
1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella
3 wins by Austin
2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30
70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Mania
Royal Rumble
40 entrants this year and it’s Punk at #1 and before #2 comes out, here’s the Corre (Barrett, Jackson, Slater and Gabriel) to surround Punk. They jump him until Punk’s Nexus guys come out for the save. The GM sends an e-mail that says everyone not named CM Punk needs to get out or they’re out of the Rumble. Anyway Daniel Bryan is #2 and the internet explodes.
They speed things up to start and Bryan fires off some kicks to the ribs. Striker talks about how the internet loves this match as Bryan is sent to the apron. The dueling chants begin and Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner. Justin Gabriel is #3 and immediately goes after Punk. Bryan clotheslines CM down and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to dump Justin out.
Zack Ryder, still a heel, is #4. He immediately takes Bryan down and hits the Broski Boot to both guys. Bryan launches Ryder into the air for a Rough Ryder into Punk, only to get dumped to the floor by Daniel. Back to Punk vs. Bryan until William Regal is #5. He starts busting out the knees to the face and some suplexes before hitting the knee trembler to Punk. The student and the teacher (Bryan and Regal) slug it out before Punk kicks the teacher in the head. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for kicking Regal in the head and only Daniel is left standing.
Ted DiBiase is #6 along with Maryse. Bryan rips off kicks to Regal before trying to dump Ted out. John Morrison is #7 to a BIG pop. He comes in (after slipping) with a slingshot kick to Regal and the Flying Chuck to Punk. A C4 takes Bryan down but DiBiase dumps Morrison to the apron. As Regal is eliminated, we get at the time the best Rumble save ever, as Morrison is knocked from the apron but catches himself on the barricade. His feet never touch as he pulls himself up to the barricade, tightrope walks down to the steps, jumps to said steps, kicks Regal in the head, and gets back in. That blew my mind live.
Yoshi Tatsu (Striker calls him the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim because Striker likes to think he’s smart) is #8 and goes right after Punk. Husky Harris is #9 and he beats everyone not named Punk before standing guard over his leader. Chavo Guerrero is #10 as these intervals are getting really short. Chavo loads up Three Amigos on DiBiase but Punk breaks it up. Now Punk takes two of them but Morrison breaks it up at two. So this time Morrison takes two suplexes but BRYAN breaks it up and finally Daniel takes all three suplexes.
Chavo takes Harris down with a middle rope missile dropkick and Mark Henry is #11. For some reason Chavo dives on him and is immediately dumped out. Yoshi is sent out as well as JTG is #12. Michael McGillicutty is #13 and he takes out JTG almost immediately before teaming up with Harris to dump DiBiase. Christ Masters is #14 and puts Punk to the apron with the Masterlock until McGillicutty makes the save. Masters and Bryan slug it out until Otunga is #15, giving Punk and the Nexus four members.
They gang up on and toss Bryan pretty easily and there goes Masters as well. There goes Morrison too and the elimination of Henry clears the ring. Tyler Reks from ECW gets to come in at #16 and you can figure out what happens to him in about 40 seconds. Vladimir Kozlov is #17 but the numbers catch up with him and it’s Punk who gets to do the honors. We’re just waiting for Cena to come out now.
Instead it’s R-Truth at #18 and it’s the same result. The only highlight is Punk hitting the knee in the corner and saying WHAT’S UP with a big goofy grin on his face. There goes Truth but Great Khali returns at #19 to scare Punk half to death. He fights all of the Nexus off and manages to dump Harris which is a big breakthrough. Khali chops Punk down and Mason Ryan, also of the Nexus, is #20. After a brief slugout he puts Khali out and we’re right back where we were.
In our second major return of the Rumble, Booker T is #21 and Striker FREAKS. Booker fires off as many kicks as he can and hits the Bookend on McGillicutty. You know we’re getting the Spinarooni but Ryan throws Booker out as soon as it’s over. Punk: “WE’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!” All hope seems to be lost but heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Cena at #22. The hometown boy charges at the ring and puts out McGillicutty, Ryan and Otunga to get us down to one on one.
Cena pounds away and escapes the GTS before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hornswoggle is #23 and is immediately kicked down by Punk. Atta boy CM! Punk loads up the GTS but Cena escapes and this the AA to toss Punk out. In next is Tyson Kidd at #24 and he gets caught between Cena and Horny. The Swogg busts out a headscissors before Cena hits the AA. In a decent visual, Horny hits an AA of his own allowing for the elimination by Cena.
Heath Slater is #25 and DEAR GOODNESS he looks hilarious in trunks. He might be as pale as Sheamus used to be and the visual is horrible. Horny hits some Sweet Shin Music and a Stunner followed by a double Five Knuckle Shuffle. There’s a Tadpole Splash and Slater is gone. Cole sounds like he’s about to be sick. Kofi Kingston is #26 and this should be interesting. Kofi fires off some kicks of course followed by some punches in the corner until Jack Swagger is #27.
Cole talks about the luck of #27 and Jerry correctly points out that the number is lucky in 30 man matches, not 40. Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on both full sized guys but as he goes after Hornswoggle, Kofi cross bodies Swagger down. There’s the Boom Drop with horny as a stepping stone and it’s King Sheamus at #28. Cena takes the Irish Curse and there’s only Horny left to face Sheamus. Horny loads up Sweet Shin Music but Cena saves Horny from elimination. The tiny man loads up the Tadpole Splash but gets Brogue Kicked out, thank goodness.
Mysterio is #29 and he hits a pair of headscissors on Swagger and Sheamus but Sheamus breaks up the 619. Trouble in Paradise takes Sheamus down but Swagger takes Kofi down. Rey hits a headscissors to put Swagger on the apron and a 619 gets the elimination. Wade Barrett is #30 and it turns into a bunch of mini brawls. Winds of Change take Cena down and Ziggler is #31. There’s a pretty big talent pool in there at the moment with Cena, Mysterio, Sheamus, Kingston, Ziggler and Barrett.
Barrett and Dolph go after Cena but Mysterio makes a save for no apparent reason. Diesel is the final big return at #32 and there’s your big pop. This is the appearance that set up Diesel vs. HHH and Punk for the latter half of the year. Everyone is stunned but I think it’s just at how black Diesel has gotten his hair. That’s some high quality polish. We get a Diesel chant and he cleans house in a much more effective way than you would expect. Diesel’s style is really good for something like this as he does so many basic moves but he’s so big that they look that much more impressive.
Drew McIntyre is #33 and we get a LOUD let’s go Diesel chant. Diesel gets caught in 619 position and in a very rare occurrence, the move gets booed. Alex Riley is #34 and Cole loses his mind when Miz’s music hits again. Diesel misses a big boot and gets kicked out by Barrett. The DIESEL chant rocks the Garden as Miz sits in on commentary. Big Show is in at #35, so Striker talks about how much taller Show is than the tallest player in the NHL. For once I agree with Cole when he says “WHO CARES???” We know Big Show is tall, and simply telling us he’s taller than a guy who is 6’9 doesn’t change anything.
Show and Diesel have a staredown in the aisle which is a FAR better (and actual) illustration of how big Show is. McIntyre and Sheamus get dropped by Show and there’s a chokeslam for Barrett. Show dumps Ziggler as Cena dumps Riley. Show shoves McIntyre out as Big Zeke is #36. He immediately throws out Show to a shockingly non-reaction. We have Barrett, Jackson, Kingston, Cena, Mysterio and Sheamus at the moment.
Santino is #37 and literally immediately breaks his record of 1 second in the Rumble. Jackson almost immediately decks him and knocks Santino to the mat and out to the floor which isn’t an elimination. Remember that. Jackson tries to put Cena out and Del Rio is #38. He’s still new at this point and hasn’t gotten on almost everyone’s nerves yet.
Striker tells us that Riley has been eliminated five minutes after it happens. Not only is he annoying but he’s a bad broadcaster on top of that. Alberto wisely takes forever to get into the ring as Miz’s voice sounds really hoarse. By long enough I mean Orton jumps him in the aisle at #39. There’s a quick RKO to Del Rio and one for Sheamus as well. A third hits Kofi and he’s gone. Sheamus is out too and it’s time for Cena vs. Orton. John points to the sign but Kane’s pyro goes off at #40 to complete the field and scare Cena to death.
So we’ve got Cena, Mysterio, Barrett, Jackson, Del Rio, Orton and Kane in the ring. I’ve seen far worse. Kane focuses on Orton and hits the side slam, only to be run over by Big Zeke. Jackson misses a charge though and goes out via a low bridge. Mysterio jumps into a chokeslam grip but Rey headscissors him out, only to be dumped by Barrett. Orton goes after Alberto while Cena beats up Barrett. Cena gets sent to the apron but gets back in via a shoulder to Wade’s ribs.
Things slow down again and NOW we get Cena vs. Orton. The fans barely react to it though so Barrett breaks it up. There’s an AA to Del Rio and here’s Riley again. He distracts Cena enough to have Miz run in and dump Cena to get us down to Orton, Barrett and Del Rio in the ring. There’s the backbreaker to Del Rio and Orton dumps Barrett, only to have Alberto sneak in on him to win the Rumble.
Rating: A. This was a VERY well done Rumble as they hit the three act structure and had a great balance of main event guys as well as new stars and legends. While it doesn’t seem like a big shock now, Del Rio had only been around for about four months. This would be like a member of the Shield winning the Rumble in 2013. Excellent Rumble though and one of the best ever.
Del Rio celebrates…….AND SANTINO CRAWLS BACK IN! He went UNDER remember so the match isn’t over yet. Del Rio doesn’t see him coming and Santino hits the Cobra! Cole: “OH MY GOD!!!” He goes for the elimination but Del Rio reverses and dumps Santino out to really win. I remember watching this and my heart STOPPED as soon as Santino got back in. The exact words I said: “THEY WOULDN’T! THEY COULDN’T! Oh they didn’t.” This makes the match even better as the fans LOST IT when he got back in.
Ricardo is literally on the floor screaming Del Rio to end the show.
Overall Rating: A. The worst and only bad match was the Divas and you have looks in that one so how can this be anything below great? 2011 was the start of the good period for WWE and they kicked it off with a bang with a great Rumble here. This is an excellent show and well worth checking out. Good stuff here.
Ratings Comparison
Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler
Original: A-
Redo: A-
Miz vs. Randy Orton
Original: B
Redo: B
Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool
Original: D
Redo: D+
Royal Rumble
Original: A
Redo: A
Overall Rating
Original: A
Redo: A
This is why I don’t see the point in redoing the newer shows: my taste hasn’t changed much.
Royal Rumble 2010 Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
We’re getting close to the end of the run here with only three shows left. Tonight we’ve got the Rumble of course along with Undertaker defending against Mysterio and Sheamus defending against Orton. I remember really liking this one as the new generation had arrived and was rising up the card. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.
ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Christian is defending and man that ECW ring announcer has an annoying voice. Regal is with Jackson here. According to Striker, Jackson went to Columbia Law School. Now there’s a factoid that fell through the cracks. Jackson shoves Christian into the corner and then does it again into the ropes so the champion slaps him in the face. After a brief chase, Christian dropkicks Jackson out to the floor.
The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.
A vertical suplex gets two for Big Zeke and it’s time for more choking. A sunset flip is easily blocked by Jackson and it’s back to the chinlock. Striker tries to figure out what a peep is, as he knows it as a something made of chocolate. Some shots to the face get Christian out of trouble for a while, or at least until a clothesline to the back of the head gets two.
Jackson hooks both of Christian’s arms back for another hold before putting the champion on top. The superplex is blocked and Christian hits a top rope back elbow for two (LOVE that move). Jackson’s big clothesline misses and a middle rope dropkick gets two for the champion. A spinwheel kick gets two on Jackson but a swan dive misses and gives Zeke a near fall as does a backbreaker.
The tornado DDT gets ANOTHER two for Christian so Jackson takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to a sleeper from Christian when the Killswitch doesn’t work but Jackson counters into a powerslam position to ram Christian’s back into the buckle. Christian slides down Jackson’s back and grabs the Killswitch out of nowhere to retain.
Rating: C+. Trim two minutes out of this and it goes WAY up in quality. The period of near falls went on too long without getting any significant heat from the crowd. Jackson would get the title in a little over two weeks on the final episode of ECW because if there’s one man who should be the final ECW Champion, it’s a musclehead that could barely get through a five minute match most of the time.
Cryme Tyme come in to try to get a second spot in the Rumble from Teddy and Tiffany. Khali says “no dice homeslice” to selling their spot because he’s keeping it real. Apparently he’s learned his English from Family Matters (Singh’s words, not mine). Ok then. Anyway US Champion the Miz comes in and laughs which causes him to have to defend against MVP.
Orton is in the back when Cody Rhodes comes in. He’s there for Randy in the title match tonight but that’s not all. Apparently DiBiase isn’t in on this because his mind is on winning the Rumble and taking the title from Orton.
US Title: The Miz vs. MVP
A quick clothesline gets two for MVP and he works on the champ’s ribs to start. Miz gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down but MVP comes right back with a belly to back suplex for two. They head to the floor for this gem from Striker: “Miz is one of the most recognizable faces on this planet.” I don’t think Miz is one of the most recognizable faces in this match.
Back in and Miz sends MVP to the apron and gets kicked into the table on the floor. Not that this is treated like anything of note because the announcers are laughing about Sherri Shepard from The View. Miz sends shoulders into MVP’s ribs in the corner followed by the running corner clothesline. A top rope double ax gets two for Miz and we hit the chinlock.
After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.
Rating: D+. If there was a reason for this to be on PPV other than the show was running short, I don’t know what it was. Miz didn’t look like anything special out there but somehow he would be world champion a year later. MVP on the other hand would be out of the WWE but he did well enough in Japan. Nothing to see here other than a filler match.
Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.
Show and Jericho, the former tag team champions, run into each other. Show accuses him of being jealous of the chemistry Show and Miz have but Jericho brushes it off. He calls the crowd gelatinous worms before pointing out all of the similarities he and Miz have. Show says he’ll throw both Miz and Jericho out to win the Rumble. R-Truth pops up and says he’ll do the same. Show leaves Jericho standing there much to Jericho’s chagrin.
DiBiase wishes Orton luck and says he’s got Randy’s back. Orton asks where Cody is but DiBiase doesn’t know. This was during the time when Legacy was about to die and both members were trying to get on Randy’s best side. DiBiase claims that Rhodes only wants to win the Rumble but Orton has heard enough. He doesn’t want anyone’s help and gets a clear face pop in response.
The National Guard is here.
Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
Sheamus won the title in a shocker last month at TLC and is heel here. He’s also still not that good and wouldn’t really hit his stride for about a year and a half. They stare at each other to start and my goodness is Sheamus pale. A dropkick puts the champion down but he comes right back with a running ax handle. Sheamus gets in a shot to the arm and we head to the floor where said arm is sent into the steps.
Back in and Orton goes for the knee and things slow down a bit. Orton wouldn’t really pick up the pace of his offense until about the following year which made his matches pretty hard to sit through. Sheamus comes back by sending Orton’s shoulder into the post twice and hitting some shoulder blocks in the corner. That gets him nowhere though as Orton takes out the knee again and knocks Sheamus to the floor.
They head inside again and yet AGAIN momentum shifts back to Sheamus as he hits a DDT on the arm for two. Off to an armbar for a bit before they slug it out to the boo/yay chants. Orton wins the slugout but walks into the Irish Curse for two. The High Cross is escaped and Orton kicks Sheamus in the head to send him to the outside. Orton gets ready for the RKO but Rhodes jumps the barricade and blasts Sheamus in the back before running away. The referee sees it though and despite Orton hitting the RKO, he’s disqualified and Sheamus keeps the title. Lame ending to a pretty lame match.
Rating: D+. Like I said, Sheamus just wasn’t very good yet. He was still this big imposing brawler who pounded on people and that’s about it. There was indeed a story in the match but it wasn’t a very entertaining one as they just kept beating on each other’s limbs but when there’s no difference because of the beating, the story doesn’t work. The ending didn’t help either but it did set up something in the future.
Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.
We recap Mickie vs. McCool. This was an awkward feud as Mickie won the title shot in a triple threat and then Laycool made fun of Mickie for being fat. This is of course odd as Mickie is a professional athlete and gorgeous and would only be called fat by a crazy person. It’s also pretty disturbing when you consider how WWE pushes the Divas as role models. The final bit of it was a segment where Mickie got beaten down and covered in food.
Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James
Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.
Post match the other Divas bring out a cake and smash it into Laycool’s faces.
We recap Mysterio vs. Undertaker. Rey won the shot by slamming a cage door onto Batista’s head to escape because that’s what heroes do. Taker said he’ll show no mercy on Mysterio so Rey uses the same line everyone does on Taker: he isn’t afraid. Batista beat up Mysterio as well, claiming that Undertaker and the world title was his.
Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker
Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.
Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.
Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.
Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.
Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.
Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.
Shawn is watching in the back when Kane comes in and says Shawn’s obsession with Taker is unhealthy. This is KANE calling something unhealthy. He warns Shawn to cool it with Taker because it won’t end well. Kane leaves and HHH comes in. Shawn apologizes for whatever happened on Raw which apparently isn’t important enough to specify. HHH agrees Shawn vs. Taker is meant to be, but it won’t be by wining the Rumble.
Rumble by the Numbers time:
23 Winners
627 entrants eliminated
36 eliminations by Austin
11 eliminations by Kane in 2001
2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta
62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006
2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year
3 wins for Austin
2 win for #1, the same as #30
70% of the winners win at Mania
Royal Rumble
Dolph Ziggler is #1 and Evan Bourne is #2. Bourne snaps off a headscissors to start and follows up with a spinwheel kick to take Dolph down. Ziggler comes back with the Zig Zag but can’t throw Evan out. Bourne decks Ziggler and hits Air Bourne as CM Punk of the Straightedge Society is #3. He slams the other two guys’ heads together and dumps them out one after the other. Punk gets a mic and says that tonight is the greatest night in the history of the Straightedge Society. These two are just the first of 29 men who will challenge him, but they can be saved.
The clock starts running down, so Punk gives us the line of the night: “Excuse me, it’s clobberin time.” JTG is #4 and after a few clotheslines, he poses like an idiot in the corner and gets dumped. Punk gets the mic again and says that not everyone can be saved because they don’t have his dedication. Great Khali is #5 and Punk immediately says he can make Khali greater by saving him. He asks Khali to raise his hand for the Straightedge Pledge but Khali lowers the hand onto Punk’s head for the chop.
There’s the Khali Vice and in less than 90 seconds, Beth Phoenix of all people is #6. She stares down Khali and gets picked up and placed on the apron. Beth kisses Khali but in the process pulls him over the top to eliminate him. Phoenix gets back in and BEATS UP PUNK, only to get caught in a GTS to the chest. Would that really knock her out? Before she’s dumped out, here’s Zack Ryder at #7.
As Ryder gets in, Punk grabs the mic and says Zack has potential. PREACH IT BROTHER! Punk starts offering him a spot but his Ryder with the mic before he gets done with it. The fans are going nuts for Punk now and there goes Ryder. Punk talks about how great he is and wants to know who is next, but whoever it is, they’re inferior to Punk. In at #8 is HHH as we enter the second segment of the Rumble.
They stare each other down and HHH starts punching. The facebuster has Punk staggered and a spinebuster puts him down as Drew McIntyre is #9. That gives us a tag champion in HHH and the IC Champion in Drew at the moment. HHH is looking a bit flabby here. He hits the high knee on McIntyre and escapes the GTS to eliminate Punk. DiBiase is #10 as we’re flying through this.
HHH gets double teamed down in the corner until John Morrison, the guy that lost the title to McIntyre, is #11. He takes both heels down and pounds away on them before hitting a jumping DDT on Drew. Starship Pain almost completely misses Drew and HHH clotheslines John down. Kane is #12 and comes in with the top rope clothesline to HHH. There’s a double chokeslam to McIntyre and Morrison before Kane tries to dump DiBiase.
Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.
Carlito is #15 and the ring is starting to get full. There’s a Backstabber to HHH and one for Drew and Ted as well. Miz is #16 and hits a quick Finale on Carlito. Cue MVP to clothesline Miz out and eliminate himself in the process. Matt Hardy is #17 and lasts about 20 seconds before Kane puts him out. HHH immediately dumps Kane too and the ring is a lot more empty all of a sudden.
HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.
Shelton Benjamin in that stupid gold period is #20. He hits Paydirt on both guys but gets dumped by Cena in less than 50 seconds. Yoshi Tatsu is #21 and doesn’t even make it 30 seconds. Big Show is #22 and Cena is shaken. Big Show RUNS down to the ring and house is cleaned. Shawn and Cena try to eliminate each other but Show pulls Shawn back in for some reason. What’s up with that tonight?
Mark Henry is #23 and we get a quick battle of the giant. Who would think those two would have a world title feud a year and a half later and be REALLY popular? Henry slams Show and falls on Cena as he tries an AA. Show spears Henry down and Chris Masters is #24. Masters tries the Masterlock on Show and gets dumped for his efforts. Now Henry goes after Show but Shawn breaks it up for some reason. R-Truth is #25 and actually dumps BOTH big guys. There’s something you wouldn’t expect.
Truth hits a Stroke on Cena and Jack Swagger is #26. All three guys get Vader Bombs and Swagger goes old school with a very slow Oklahoma Stampede. Jack knocks Michaels to the apron but can’t get the elimination. Kingston is #27 and cleans house on Swagger, hitting the Boom Drop and dumping him out with a nice leverage move. Truth puts Kofi on the apron but gets pulled out by a reverse headscissors.
Jericho is #28 but after cleaning about half the house, Cena grabs an AA to put him down. Shawn adds the top rope elbow and tunes up the band but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to take him out. Cena dumps Kofi but walks into a Codebreaker. Everyone is down and EDGE makes his big return at #29. That’s rather brilliant instead of waiting for the big surprise at #30, we get a SWERVE that actually makes sense.
Everyone gets a spear and Jericho is out. Edge is back about six months early and it’s Edge-O-Matics all around. Batista is #30, giving us a final four of Shawn, Cena, Edge and Batista. Not bad at all. It’s power all around but Edge spears him down. Everyone is down now Shawn gets up first and hits the forearm on Cena followed by the nipup.
Shawn slams every American in sight and drops the top rope elbow on Cena. Batista takes one too as Edge is still down in the corner. Sweet Chin Music hits Cena and there’s one for Batista as well. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and Michaels superkicks Edge back in, only to get knocked out by Batista. The crowd gasps HUGE at that and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn gets back in and superkicks the referee to vent some frustration. Shawn FINALLY leaves and Cena escapes the Batista Bomb before dumping Batista out. Edge misses the spear but throws out Cena a second later to go to Wrestlemania.
Rating: A-. This is kind of a hard one to grade. They definitely followed the three act structure which helped a lot and the match was VERY fast paced. I mean, the longest anyone was in there was Cena and he barely broke 20 minutes. The problem with that is it doesn’t give anything time to develop. The main story was Shawn which is fine and he would get to Mania at the end of the day anyway. It’s a really fun Rumble but not one of the best ever.
Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is very solid and the rest has nothing terrible so we’ll call it a good show overall. Things would get a lot more interesting soon after this with the rise of the Nexus and a very solid Wrestlemania. This was also a time of transition for the company as a lot of the guys in this show would be gone by the end of the year. Anyway good show here and worth checking out.
Ratings Comparison
Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Miz vs. MVP
Original: B-
Redo: D+
Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
Original: B
Redo: D+
Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: C-
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: A
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: A-
Redo: B
Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.
Monday Night Raw – January 4, 2010: The Mediocrity Of Exection
Monday Night Raw Date: January 4, 2010
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
A few weeks back I took another look at TNA’s Monday night debut and figured I should do the same with this famous episode of Raw. Then it turned out that I never did this show in the first place so this is going to be completely fresh. This episode centers around Bret Hart returning for the first time since the Montreal Screwjob over twelve years ago, so I think the crowd might be a bit excited. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long video on Bret’s career, of course focusing on Montreal and the huge shock that he’s actually back tonight.
We waste no time as here’s Bret to open things up. Bret soaks it in for a bit before saying that a lot of people are surely wondering why he came back. He’s been trying for years but every time Vince has told him it’s not the right time. Bret is thrilled to be back to be able to talk to the WWE Universe, earning him a welcome back chant. Above all else, Bret wants to thank the people for never forgetting him. He owes every bit of his success to the fans and there are millions of memories coming back to him right here. Back in 1993 he won the first King of the Ring right here in this building…..and then Jerry Lawler jumped him.
That’s ok though, because there’s something Bret needs to take care of. Therefore, he’d like Shawn Michaels to come out here right now. Shawn comes out looking very nervous. Bret wants to bury the hatchet though and call a truce to this whole thing. Shawn sounds a bit annoyed though and has something he’s been waiting twelve years to say to Bret: he deserved what happened in Montreal. Bret disrespected him and the title so Vince did what he had to do that night.
There’s a part of Shawn that doesn’t regret it, but there’s another part of him that knows a lot has changed in the last twelve years. Shawn always respected Bret, but he wasn’t sure Bret respected him. He couldn’t stand Bret at times, but when he thinks of him, he thinks of Anaheim and the 60 minute Iron Man match that they were told no one wanted to see. But the two of them redefined this industry and gave the fans something special.
Shawn is ready to move on too and asks Bret if he’s ready. Bret thinks it’s time to end this right here in Dayton and they finally shake hands. Shawn goes to leave but comes back and hugs Bret to a nice ovation. Now Shawn leaves but Bret isn’t done yet. He wants Vince McMahon out here RIGHT NOW but there’s no boss in sight. This was an historic moment but much more symbolic than anything else.
Josh Matthews is waiting outside Vince’s office but the boss says no one calls him out. If Bret wants to have a public discussion, they can have it on his terms later tonight.
Melina has torn her ACL and has to vacate the Divas Title. Tournament time!
Divas Title Tournament First Round: Maryse vs. Brie Bella
This is before Nikki’s surgery so they’re still identical. Maryse easily shoves her into the ropes to start and poses, only to have Brie toss her down by the hair. Back up and Brie hits a running dropkick to send Maryse outside, allowing Nikki to get in a few cheap shots. Maryse runs Brie over back inside but the Bellas switch, only to have Maryse plant her with the French Kiss DDT for a fast win.
Maryse leaves when US Champion Miz comes out to say if she wins the tournament, he might call her back. She’s called this the year of Maryse but Miz declares this his decade. Maryse looks very pleased.
MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. Mark Henry
Winner gets a US Title shot and Miz is on commentary. We don’t see Carlito or Henry’s entrances as they come out during the break. The match is joined in progress with Henry down on the floor with Swagger suplexing Carlito for two. A belly to belly gets two on MVP with Carlito making the save.
Jack splashes Carlito in the corner but Henry comes back in to clean house. He slaps a bearhug on Carlito but Swagger makes a fast save. That’s fine with Henry who puts Swagger in a fireman’s carry rack (not all that effective) when MVP makes a save of his own. MVP sends Henry and Carlito outside, followed by the Playmaker on Swagger for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: D+. Not much to see here due to the time but they actually had a bit of a story going. MVP got the win far faster than he should have been able to but at least it wasn’t horrible while it lasted. I’m still not sure how much the Playmaker would actually hurt though as it’s basically just a swinging neckbreaker.
Jericho and Big Show have a meeting before their Tag Team Title shot. If Jericho loses, he’s off Raw but he has an idea for Bret.
After a break, Jericho comes in to see Bret and mentions learning the Walls by practicing on Bret’s brother Keith. The big idea is that Bret should be the guest referee during the title match tonight when Jericho and Big Show challenge DX. Jericho thinks Bret can get his revenge on Shawn and call the bell in a hurry but Bret wants to keep the controversy behind him. Bret: “I don’t want to be like you.” Also, he remembers Jericho screaming louder than anyone else in the Dungeon.
Hornswoggle is with HHH and it’s time to schill toys. Shawn comes in and says it’s time for their match when Santino comes in dressed as Jericho, claiming a conspiracy. HHH has Horny attack Santino before talking with Shawn about the match as the two scream in the background. DX heads off for their match with HHH whistling like a dog to get Hornswoggle to come with him. Horny leaves for a cookie.
Tag Team Titles: D-Generation X vs. Chris Jericho/Big Show
DX is defending and Jericho’s job is at stake. Horny is crawling around at ringside because he’s a pest. Show tosses Shawn into the corner to start but Michaels ducks a chop and hits some of his own. HHH comes in but Show suplexes both of them with ease as we take an early break. Back with Jericho knocking HHH down and walking around a lot.
A side slam from Big Show drops HHH as well before he just walks over the Game’s stomach. Now it’s Show’s turn to walk around and waste time before it’s off to Jericho for the Hogan hand to the ear. Chris hooks a chinlock for a bit before HHH comes back with a spinebuster to put both guys down. Show comes in to break up the tag but misses a Vader Bomb. Now the hot tag brings in Shawn to hammer on Big Show, nip up a lot, then hammer on him again. He knocks Show down for the top rope elbow but Jericho crotches him down. Horny comes in to sit on Show, which thankfully has no effect.
Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam for two but Jericho comes in with the Walls, only to have Shawn kick away. The Pedigree plants Jericho but it’s Show making a save. HHH breaks up another chokeslam attempt and dropping the big man with the Pedigree, only to have Big Show roll outside. Jericho rolls up HHH for two before knocking him silly with a Codebreaker. A very delayed cover gets two but Hornswoggle comes in again, only to get kicked in the face by Jericho. The distraction lets Shawn superkick him down for the pin to retain.
Rating: B-. Good match here, especially due to having Hornswoggle get kicked in the face. Jericho losing the big one is as classic as you’re going to get with him and there was no way DX was losing the titles just a month after winning them in the first place. Jericho and Big Show were never a long term thing anyway so splitting them here is fine.
HHH says that’s bye bye for Jericho and if Chris isn’t down with that, they have two words for him. Big Show walks off, leaving Jericho to face the Goodbye Song. He would be Smackdown Champion next month.
Orton comes in to see Vince and has a business deal for him. Vince isn’t interested because of all the horrible things Orton did to his family, which he says were far worse than what Bret did in 1997. Orton’s idea: he’ll punt Bret in exchange for being #30 in the Royal Rumble. The boss isn’t interested and throws Orton out. The camera stays on Randy when he runs into Legacy. If Orton loses tonight, they’re going to throw him out and beat him up.
Mike Tyson is guest host next week.
We recap Sheamus getting himself disqualified to save his title against Cena last week.
Here’s Sheamus with something to say. He talks about beating Cena last week when everyone said he couldn’t, so his next title defense at the Royal Rumble will not be against Cena. Sheamus wants a new challenge so cue Evan Bourne who says he wants an opportunity. That’s fine with Sheamus, who says if Evan wins here, he gets a title shot at the Rumble.
Evan Bourne vs. Sheamus
Bourne hammers away to start and nails a kick from the apron, followed by Air Bourne less than a minute in. Sheamus powers him out to the floor on the kickout and catches Evan in a fall away slam. The fans chant for Cena but get a Brogue Kick to Evan’s head, setting up the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) for the pin.
We get a nice tribute to Dr. Death Steve Williams who recently passed away due to throat cancer at 49.
Same Bret video that opened the show.
Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton
This is the last match in a good feud between the two and Legacy is at ringside. Kofi is in the serious black attire here. An early headlock and shoulder give Orton an early advantage but he eats an elbow to the jaw. Kofi sends him outside for a baseball slide before countering the Elevated DDT into a backdrop to put Orton outside again as we take a break.
Back with Orton holding a chinlock before stomping on the ribs for good measure. He talks a lot of trash and stands around a bit more before sending Kofi chest first into the buckle. A catapult sends Kofi throat first into the bottom rope for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Kofi finally comes back but a double cross body puts both guys down. It’s Kingston up first and winning a brief slugout to set up the Boom Drop. A high cross body gets two and the SOS is good for the same. Trouble in Paradise is mostly blocked and a quick RKO gives Orton the pin.
Rating: C+. Another decent match between them but Kofi’s big moment had already come and gone. He’s never reached this high of a level again, even though he seemed ready to burst through the ceiling to the next level. Orton absorbing the kick and RKOing him for the pin pretty much killed him dead though.
Legacy doesn’t seem to care.
Here’s Vince to call out Bret. He wishes us a happy New Year but doesn’t think he needs to call Hart out. The Montreal Screwjob is buried and he considers his issues with Bret to be the same. Vince hypes up Mike Tyson appearing next week when Bret comes out without music. The boss thinks the fans want Montreal to be forgotten, but Vince will never forget Bret spitting on him and then disrespecting him when Bret was inducted into the Hall of Fame. He’d like to hear what Bret has to say, but it better start with “I’m sorry.”
That’s not what Bret has in mind though. He’s here to bury the hatchet tonight and he’s halfway there. Bret knows Vince wants this just as much as he does, but Vince says he wants to kick Bret in the guts. He remembers Bret in the Wrestlemania II battle royal and knew that he was going to be the future then and there.
That brings him to Bret’s dad Stu, who brought a lot of people into the business. Vince wants to put Stu in the Hall of Fame and Bret likes the idea. He thanks Vince for it but Vince says it’s time to thank Bret for everything he’s done over the years. They shake hands and Vince kicks Bret low to end the show. This led to a Wrestlemania match that I still think was done well.
Overall Rating: C-. On the other hand, this show wasn’t done all that well. They knew TNA was having their big night here so the reaction seemed to be to keep things the same other than Bret. There really wasn’t anything important here aside from that, with even Cena not showing up. It’s not the worst show ever but it comes and goes with nothing else standing out.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2012: Sierra Hotel India Echo Lima Delta
Survivor Series 2012 Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
I don’t remember much about this show and I think that says a lot about it. The main event is a triple threat with Punk defending against Cena and Ryback because WWE loves their three way matches. The original main event was going to be Team Punk vs. Team Foley in a Survivor Series match but WWE realized no one would pay to see that, so the new main events were made. Team Punk was replaced by Team Ziggler, despite the two of them having no real animosity at all. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella
It’s Slater and Mahal here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to the fun one of the Band (meaning Mahal if that’s not clear) who gets two off a knee drop.
Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag? Really?
The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the world title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.
Team Clay vs. Team Tensai
Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio
Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players
This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Nothing wrong with that at all. Apparently this is the debut of the three man booth so we’re getting a bit of history here. Why anyone would care about that is beyond me but I need something to talk about during these long entrances. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along. If nothing else we get to see Rosa Mendes with black hair and those hips of hers.
Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.
Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.
Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players. Awesome sequence.
The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.
Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there. I’d go more like a lieutenant at best from what I’ve seen.
Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.
Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.
Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, which I’m pretty sure is the worst record ever.
Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. I think the attacker wound up being Aksana.
Divas Title: Katilyn vs. Eve Torres
Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.
Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.
Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and hasn’t gotten much better ever since. Eve was good but her character had hit a ceiling around this time. It’s no surprise she was gone soon after this.
Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.
Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”
US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth
Cesaro is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.
A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.
Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.
Ad for TLC, set up like an ad for David Otunga’s law offices.
We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ, saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.
Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.
AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is SCANDALOUS! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus and Vickie shouts a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.
Promo for the Attitude Era DVD. Just writing that is so wrong.
Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.
We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at HIAC with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.
Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show
It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the rpes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.
Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.
Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. That was rather awesome indeed. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.
The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.
Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of the HIAC match and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.
Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like 18 and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER chants are ignored.
Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley
Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett
The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton
So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga. Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO have the tag belts and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course.
Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.
The tag champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.
Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.
Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.
Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Can you imagine the reaction if that happened today? Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.
A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (which isn’t the Wasteland Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.
That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.
Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt like a schnook though and walks into a superkick for the pin.
Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.
Tout continues to annoy me a year after it stopped being a thing.
We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution? TRIPLE THREAT OF COURSE!!!
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk
Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.
Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.
With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.
Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.
Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.
Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.
Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.
Ratings Comparison
3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella
Original:
Redo: D+
Team Clay vs. Team Tensai
Original: B-
Redo: C
Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn
Original: D-
Redo: D
R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro
Original: D
Redo: D
Sheamus vs. Big Show
Original: C-
Redo: C
Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: D+
Redo: D
About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.
Monday Night Raw – November 17, 2014: 18 Men On A Free PPV. Yo Ho Ho And A Grumpy Cat
Monday Night Raw Date: November 17, 2014
Location: Berglund Center Coliseum, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
We’re back stateside now for the go home show for Survivor Series. The big story tonight is a contract signing for the main event where we’re most likely to find out who the final members of each team are going to be. More importantly than that though, we have the Grumpy Cat here tonight because there’s an untapped audience between Lifetime and WWE. Or something. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s Survivor Series partner shuffle.
Here’s the Authority, including Harper, to open things up. HHH brings up Vince making the rules for the Survivor Series in case we hadn’t heard about it in the last few weeks. HHH doesn’t care for the idea of being the employee of someone like the people in the audience. Instead he’s supposed to be someone like Vince McMahon, running the evil empire.
These people would rather have the inmates like Cena and Ziggler running the asylum. The last place that let the inmates run the asylum was WCW and that will NEVER happen in WWE. HHH looks at the team and says they can’t lose while plugging the Network. Stephanie thinks Team Cena should work on being together. HHH says Team Cena will be decimated before the contract signing at the end of the night.
The wife runs through the team again and says Team Cena is down a member. That brings her to Ryback but the Big Guy cuts them off. Ryback says the Authority wants what’s best for business, Cena wants what’s best for the people but Ryback wants what’s best for him. Stephanie gets that idea and brings up respect. It’s clear that Cena doesn’t respect Ryback so why does he want to join the team?
She throws us a clip from Superstars last year where Cena said Ryback had no brains or testicular fortitude. Then a clip from Raw where Cena mocked his way of speaking. Back live, Stephanie suggests that Cena is jealous of Ryback and absolutely hates him. She asks if he wants to team with someone like Cena, but Ryback says he’s his own team and leaves. HHH says that’s a good idea and makes Ziggler vs. Harper right now.
Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler
After a break this is now a title match. During the Big Match Intros, the Stooges come in to jump Ziggler and a briefcase shot from Rollins knocks him cold. Ziggler is holding his head on the mat but says ring the bell. The bell rings and Luke kicks him in the head for two. A Batista Bomb gets the same but Luke misses a big boot in the corner and falls out to the floor as we take another break.
Back with Ziggler escaping a vertical suplex but getting popped in the jaw for two. There’s the Gator Roll and we hit a chinlock. Ziggler fights up and nails a Fameasser for two but Harper counters the superkick into a sitout Boss Man Slam for another near fall. Luke charges into the superkick for two more but comes back with the discus lariat for the pin and the title at 8:33.
Rating: C. Harper’s hard hitting offense continues to look awesome and it’s a good sign that he’s finally getting a singles push of his own. I can’t imagine him ever becoming a huge star but the Intercontinental Title is a good start. They almost had to take the belt off Ziggler after all the stuff they’ve thrown at him and this is the best option out of all the Authority members. Ziggler is even protected a bit because of the pre-match attack.
Ziggler takes a Curb Stomp post match.
The announcers plug the free PPV.
Kofi Kingston New Day video.
Miz and Mizdow pitch a movie idea to the Grumpy Cat. They even have a grumpy stuntcat. The Cat doesn’t care and Miz storms off, only to come back and apologize. One of these men used to be an intellectual savior to the masses people.
Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd
The Bunny does Rose’s fall onto the Rosebuds to make Adam even angrier. JBL seems annoyed by the suggestion that the Bunny is a man in a costume. Kidd hammers away to start but walks into a spinebuster for two. The Bunny hits on Natalya, allowing Tyson to slap on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:00.
Post match the Bunny goes after Adam and thrusts his hips behind Rose. Just go with it.
Video of Wrestlemania tickets going on sale.
Bray Wyatt is here and after a break he’s in the ring to talk about the lies he’s been told about money buying happiness. He’s been told that a man like Dean Ambrose can buy happiness but Dean is going to be alone day after day. Bray hopes that Dean doesn’t mistake his generosity for something malignant. Yeah Bray did something to get Dean’s attention, but now he comes in peace. That momentary suffering was a gift though because Bray knows the pain Dean is going through.
His mother drowned herself in her own misery and his father left him in a lifetime of isolation. Wyatt says he can save him but Dean pops up on screen. He calls Bray’s ramblings nails on a chalkboard, but he’s been trying to see things Bray’s way. Maybe he can learn something from Bray. He’s already learned a magic trick called video recording, because he’s in the arena right now. The lights come on and Ambrose hammers on Bray, sending him running up the ramp. At Survivor Series, Bray needs to worry about saving himself.
We recap the title change and hear that Ziggler has been taken to a hospital.
Larry the Cable Guy is hosting Raw next week because WWE thinks it’s 2006.
Ryback vs. Cesaro
Ryback powers him into the corner to start and chops away but Cesaro takes him down with a quick suplex. Ryback shrugs it off and hits a delayed suplex of his own. The Thesz press and head slams have Ryback in trouble but Cesaro powerbombs him out of the corner to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit on Ryback before a slam and kick to the head get two. Back up and Ryback gets clotheslined out to the floor as we take a break.
We come back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock and catching Cesaro with a belly to belly suplex. Cesaro bails to the apron to avoid the Meat Hook but gets thrown right back in. The middle rope splash connects and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two for Ryback. Shell Shock is countered into rolling Germans for two and Cesaro goes up top.
A big elbow drop gets two more but Ryback pops up with a powerslam for two of his own. The Meat Hook is countered with the uppercut and Swiss Death gets an even closer two. The Neutralizer is countered into a Shell Shock attempt which is countered into a rollup for two more. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin at 14:16.
Rating: B. While it’s not as good as the announcers made it out to be, this was one heck of a power match with some solid near falls. Ryback is able to have a decent match if he’s given the right circumstances and someone like Cesaro is a good opponent for him. I wouldn’t mind seeing Cesaro win a bit more often but you can’t have Ryback lose this early in his return.
Cena hopes he sees all of his team members at the contract signing tonight. Ryback doesn’t seem to be part of those plans though.
Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. Lana brings up Putin being disrespected at the G20 Summit but stops to say SHUT UP a lot. This past week, America drooled over the queen of social media Kim Kardashian, even though no American can compare to Lana. She has a topless photo of her own to show us, but of course it’s of Putin on a horse. This brings out……Heath Slater dressed as Uncle Sam. Like the rest of America, Slater wants Lana to shut up. The spirit of America flows through all of us, including this country boy right here.
Rusev vs. Heath Slater
Superkick, Accolade, 36 seconds.
Miz pitches a buddy comedy to Grumpy Cat. Erick Rowan comes up saying here kitty kitty. He wants the cat, meaning the stuffed one Mizdow is holding. Everyone stands around looking confused. JBL: “…..ok?”
Big Show comes out for a match but gets interrupted by Stephanie’s horrible music. She talks about watching the Monday Night War and seeing Big Show billed as Andre the Giant’s son. Big Show has always been in someone’s shadow, even though he just wants to be in the main event. The people can’t fix that but the Authority can. Thankfully they don’t offer him the usual but instead suggest that he could enter the Hall of Fame next year.
Big Show says no but here’s Sheamus to interrupt. He’s glad to be on Team Cena and will love to only see HHH and Stephanie when they buy tickets. Stephanie laughs because there was an issue with Sheamus’ passport and he’s in danger of being deported. Not that it matters though as Sheamus vs. Big Show are fighting right now. The winner will have a chance to win the World Title at some point in the future.
Big Show vs. Sheamus
They shove each other around to start and Big Show nails some chops in the corner. Sheamus gets thrown to the floor and then over the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chokeslam attempt by hitting the ten forearms to a kneeling Big Show. A kick to the face and knee drop get two on the giant but he blocks a slam and comes back with some of his own. Show puts on a Haas of Pain but Sheamus is right next to the ropes.
The pale one starts his comeback with an ax handle and avoids a legdrop. He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets speared out of the air for a close two. White Noise (that’s always cool to see on Big Show) and a chokeslam get two each. Show loads up the Vader Bomb but gets caught in an electric chair to put both guys down. Cue Rusev and Henry for the no contest (even though Rusev hit Sheamus first so it should be a DQ but rules that have been the same throughout wrestling history don’t count when writers don’t need them to count) at 11:08.
Rating: C-. This was the usual decent power match between these two but you could see the ending coming the entire way. As soon as they said the winner gets a title shot you knew no one was getting their hand raised for this match. That ending gets on my nerves though as Sheamus should have won via DQ because just having Henry and Rusev get in at the same time was too complicated.
Rusev Accoldes Big Show as Sheamus takes the World’s Strongest Slam through the table.
Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella
Brie is dressed like AJ and this is an exhibition match. The real AJ comes out to watch but Nikki needs to warm up first. Some backbreakers have Brie in trouble but she finally gets annoyed and shoves Nikki away. That earns her some slaps to the head before Nikki loads up the Rack Attack. AJ gets on the apron, allowing Brie to grab a rollup pin at 2:06.
Nikki goes after Brie post match but AJ makes the save. Brie starts a YES chant and gets beaten up by the champ. I have no idea why this was an exhibition match.
Big E.’s New Day video.
Cena tries to get Ryback again but he isn’t happy with those insults. John apologizes for the comments and says if Ryback helps, the Authority is gone. Ryback says he’s Team Ryback and asks Cena to leave. Cena calls him selfish and thinks Ryback doesn’t want to take a risk.
We recap Ambrose and Wyatt from earlier.
Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos/Los Matadores
Setting up this Sunday’s four way tag. Diego stops Miz early on for OLE before putting him across the middle rope for a running crotch attack. The fans want a tag to Mizdow but get Goldust instead, only to have Diego fire off some chops in the corner. Los Matadores hit a double hiptoss to Miz, sending him rolling out to the floor. Mizdow comes in and flips himself over before rolling outside as well. Los Matadores dive onto Goldust/Stardust and Torito dives on the actors as we take a break.
Back with Goldust sending Fernando shoulder first into the post. Stardust comes in for a double stomp as the fans STILL want Mizdow. Instead they get an armbar from Stardust so the fans chant for JBL. Back to Miz for a chinlock before Goldust comes in to work on the arm. Mizdow holds out his arm and Goldust is ready to bring him in but Stardust steals the tag instead. Back to Miz who FINALLY tags in Mizdow, only to tag himself back in a few seconds later.
Fernando kicks Miz out to the floor as Jerry says Drew Carrey is in Dumb and Dumber. Fernando tags in Jimmy but Jey tags himself in as the Usos clean house. The double dive takes down some heels until it’s Jimmy hitting a release Samoan drop on Stardust. The Rikishi attack connects but Jimmy charges into a Goldust powerslam. We start the parade of finishers and Jimmy superkicks Diego by mistake before walking into Dark Matter for the pin at 11:48.
Rating: D+. The match was dull but it’s interesting to see that they’re setting up Mizdow’s face turn when he finally gets tired of never getting the spotlight. The fans are buying into it too and everything works. Unfortunately this match has no heat as we head into the show because the main event has swallowed the whole thing.
The Cat is not pleased.
Sheamus has been taken to the hospital and is out of Survivor Series.
After Raw, you can see a preview of the new Randy Savage DVD on the Network.
Here’s the Authority for the contract signing. HHH says Cena is going to come out here and talk about how important this business is to him but it’s nothing compared to what it means for the Authority. This is the air they breathe and they will not lose on Sunday. Stephanie invites Team Cena to come out here and here’s John by himself.
Cena says they’ll win but Stephanie laughs it off and asks what army is going to help him. She tells him to wake up but Cena says don’t get used to giving any orders because the Authority is losing on Sunday. All night long there have been underhanded tricks to take out Team Cena, except for one man. He sees what’s going on: they come out here every week and put people to sleep but claim to know what’s best for business.
Cena is going to have a team on Sunday, even if he has to pick four people out of the crowd. John goes outside and walks around, asking if there are four people that can join him Sunday. There’s a man dressed as a nun, a guy with a sailor’s hat and two kids. Those four would have more passion than the Authority and that’s why Cena’s team is going to win. Cena offers us a preview for tonight and sits down in a chair.
Kane is going to be the first and then Luke Harper will fail. He’s from the swamp so he’ll be used to swamping in his pants. Rusev is next and HHH will start sweating through his suit while Stephanie is vomiting. When they wake up they’ll be hungry so Cena can feed them Sexual Chocolate. Cena gets in the ring and says the Golden Boy with a thing for latex will fall last and HHH will be left cleaning toilets. Stephanie slaps Cena and it’s time to fight.
Cena gets ready but Ziggler and Big Show limp out to stand next to John. Lawler: “80% of a team is better than no team at all!” HHH counts the people but here’s….ERICK ROWAN to help balance things out? Stephanie doesn’t know what to do but says there’s still one spot open. She gives Team Cena one last chance to reconsider but here’s Cesaro of all people….to stand with the Authority.
Stephanie asks if there are any more surprises so here’s Ryback and it really is on. Well that makes most of tonight pointless but it makes the most sense. Everyone brawls to the floor until it’s HHH and Ryback in the ring. They stare each other down until Cena comes back in to AA HHH through a table. Team Cena poses to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This show was rough and a lot of that is due to how they’re building up Survivor Series. I’m sure they’ll add some stuff the night of the show or maybe on Smackdown, but right now there are four matches announced for Sunday and two of them are taking up 18 names, assuming they don’t get thrown into other matches for some reason.
The problem right now is everything is put in the main event and while it’s a good story, it’s not enough to carry three hours. Tying everything of note up in one match is never a good idea and it’s going to make the rest of the card feel empty. They should have gone with four on four and had at least one other major match for Sunday, but to be fair it is free so it’s going to be hard to care about.
The worst part about it is the main event on Sunday is a well built match. They have a big match and have made it unclear as to who is going to win. However, when that’s what 80% of Raw is about, it’s a very hard show to sit through. Having ten guys in a single match was too much, but maybe they’ll mix things up on Sunday.
This show really didn’t do much for me but it could have been far worse. Thankfully the Grumpy Cat was just there for a few backstage bits, but that begs the question: is it worth bringing him in and paying however much it cost and all the eye rolling from your base to do some quick gags? I could ask the same for next Monday with Larry the Cable Guy (seriously, it’s 2014) but they have enough problems on Sunday already.
Results
Luke Harper b. Dolph Ziggler – Discus lariat
Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter
Ryback b. Cesaro – Shell Shock
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Rusev and Mark Henry interfered
Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos/Los Matadores – Dark Matter to Jimmy
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: November 10, 2014
The main story this week was the revolving door around the Survivor Series main event. They’ve been doing a good job of setting up the people in the match not named John Cena, though I have a feeling HHH is going to wind up in the match somehow. A lot happened this week so let’s get to it.
The opening segment got the ball rolling on the big story of the night. Cena came out and talked about what it would mean to get rid of the Authority and said he had a new team member in Jack Swagger. Other than that though, he wanted to sign the new free agent that is tearing stuff up again: Ryback. The Big Guy came out but the Authority, complete with new team member Mark Henry, interrupted them.
Cena and HHH went at it with HHH taking credit for various wrestlers who have recently been injured, including Bryan and Ryder. Now this is something that I REALLY liked. Here’s the thing: Ryder and Bryan’s injuries had nothing to do with the Authority but they’re taking credit for it anyway. WHY HAVEN’T PEOPLE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS??? It’s such an easy thing to do and makes storylines out of real life issues. Most important of all is we never see them do these things, but it adds a realism to the story by making the Authority seem that much more evil.
The Authority looks evil, Ryder and Bryan serve a purpose while injured, and you might have a story for them when they come back. I have no idea why this hasn’t been done more often over the years. Blurring the line between reality and fiction is a great way to get heat on people and all it boils down to is “these people are the reason you can’t see your favorites. Now I’m going to try to get rid of them. WHO’S WITH ME???” It’s as simple as that.
Anyway, the Authority promised Ryback a bunch of money and opportunities, Cena warned him of the pressure that came with the spot, and Ryback planted Cena with a spinebuster before leaving with the villains. The segment got its job done but as usual went on WAY too long. That’s what dives me crazy about these things: why do we need to take twenty minutes when we can do these things in maybe ten? We didn’t need HHH babbling about everything being on the line for five minutes. We get the idea already so why keep hammering it in with that slow voice of his?
The revolving door of teammates kept going as Seth Rollins Curb Stomped Swagger into oblivion. Swagger looked to have a concussion so Seth Curb Stomped him again, likely putting him out of the PPV. That certainly was a quick way to get rid of a loser like Jack.
Ambrose talked about fighting demons much tougher than Bray Wyatt. I’m not sure why most of this feud is being played out on Smackdown but it gives me something to look forward to on Friday nights.
I’ll cover a lot of segments at once here. Kane told Ryback that he’ll be at ringside for Ryback vs. Cena but Ryback didn’t seem interested. Kane basically told him to watch it and left. The rest of the Authority came in and said various things to Ryback all night, each one getting on his nerves more than the previous one. They weren’t exactly being subtle with where this story was going.
Paige easily beat Alicia Fox for the hometown pop. Nothing wrong with this one.
Stephanie recruited Rusev for Team Authority. Let me get this one out of the way now: GAH! I hated these segments as we’ve had Lana and Rusev shouting down everyone from Henry to Big Show to Sheamus TO THE ROCK, but they cower in fear of Stephanie freaking McMahon? Seriously? Well of course seriously because Stephanie is the most beautiful, intelligent, dominant, talented and intimidating yet caring and charitable woman IN THE WORLD.
Stephanie and HHH were worried about Vince making the decision to put their futures on the line. I’d be more worried about why Cena has nothing on the line.
Rusev had a victory celebration and then a good match with Sheamus. The Stooges came out to help Rusev win by countout, which is supposed to justify the Russians doing whatever Stephanie wants. You know, because they couldn’t beat Sheamus on their own, like Rusev did just a week ago. Lana agreed to put Rusev on the team after the match.
Miz/Mizdow beat Los Matadores in a match without much to talk about.
HHH literally danced in on a meeting between Cena and Ziggler to say Cena can’t be at ringside for Ziggler’s match.
Ziggler beat Mark Henry via DQ when Henry used a chair. This was the HENRY SMASH bit to keep softening Dolph up before the PPV. Big Show came out for the save and is of course part of Team Cena.
Kofi Kingston is part of the New Day with Woods. Just waiting on Big E. now.
Sheamus joined Team Cena as well. Makes sense.
AJ Lee beat Brie Bella in some angle advancement. Nikki beat up AJ after the match.
The Bunny cost Adam Rose a match and got kicked in the gut for his efforts. They better have someone good under that costume.
Wyatt talked about being sin and being able to save Ambrose. He got in a great line with “if God lived on this earth, he’d make oceans to walk on to get away from me.”
Cena and Ryback had a good main event until Kane cost Ryback the match via DQ. Sheamus and Big Show came out and got beaten up but Ryback cleaned house, including the Authority.
Ziggler was thrown into the Authority’s office by Luke Harper, who told HHH and Stephanie that he’s a team player to end the show.
This show was all about furthering the main event and believe it or not they’re doing a great job of making it feel important. The wrestling wasn’t bad and there’s actual stuff happening. That’s one of the major criticisms lately in WWE: nothing has been happening. Now there are actual stories going on, even if they’re not the most interesting in the world. I’m interested in where some of them are going and that’s more than I’ve been able to say for a long time. Good show this week but they need to deliver at Survivor Series.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – November 10, 2014: Keep Calm And Add Team Members
Monday Night Raw Date: November 10, 2014
Location: Echo Arena, Liverpool, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
We’re in England for the annual fall tour and the show is taped tonight. The main story for tonight is the “return” of Cena to Raw after missing an entire week. He’ll be facing Ryback, but the important question is who will be added to the Survivor Series teams for the upcoming showdown. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Authority’s issues last week, including Vince putting their power on the line and Rollins putting Orton out of action.
Here’s Cena to open things up with one of the loudest boos you’ll ever hear. He says the fans know how bad things are for him right now because Survivor Series is coming up. The Authority’s life is on the line and they don’t even want Cena to have a team. People like Zack Ryder tried to make a stand and now he’s going to be out six months.
However, he has two men ready to fight for him: Dolph Ziggler and former World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger. The fans say they want Ziggler and Cena blames the Authority for him not being out here. There’s one more man that Cena has his eye on and he’s a monster. The fans chant FEED ME MORE and that’s exactly who Cena wants out here right now.
Ryback comes out and says the big guy is back but the Authority cuts him off immediately. The entire group is here, complete with Mark Henry as the third man on the team. Stephanie thinks the English fans should love the Authority because they’re so used to being ruled by a monarchy. HHH says everything is on the line for the Authority and of course he’s trying to scare people out of being on Team Cena. The stakes have been raised so the game has changed. Who has the guts to join Team Cena when everything is on the line?
Cena only has two guys on his team right now but Ziggler isn’t likely to make it to Survivor Series. Cena: “You said the same thing about Daniel Bryan.” The HUGE YES chant suggests that Bryan is still over. HHH takes credit for Bryan being on the shelf and suggests that Ziggler will join him after facing Henry tonight. Stephanie brings it back to Ryback, saying that he could have many more main events if he joins Team Authority. Ryback might be the biggest monster the company has ever seen, but Kane doesn’t look happy with that idea.
Ryback seems to like the idea but Cena goes on another rant against the Authority. He doesn’t care who Ryback joins but know the pressure that comes with joining the Authority. The fans chant FEED ME MORE and Ryback says he isn’t afraid of the Authority, but he doesn’t see Cena’s name on the bottom of his paycheck. Ryback lays out Cena with a spinebuster and Stephanie starts a YES chant.
Seth Rollins vs. Jack Swagger
They trade shoulders to start until Rollins bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and Swagger snapmares him into an armbar to slow things down again. Rollins bails again and we take an early break. Back with Rollins in control and the fans chanting for JBL. Jack quickly breaks out of a chinlock and backdrops Seth out to the floor. The Stooges tell Colter to stay back and that’s exactly what the mustached wonder does.
Back in and a big boot sets up the Vader Bomb for two and the Patriot Lock goes on. Ropes are quickly grabbed though and Seth is sent out to the floor. Another Patriot Lock has Seth in trouble outside but he sends Swagger face first into the post. Back in and the Curb Stomp is good for the pin at 11:26.
Rating: C. Thanks for coming Jack, nice to see you’re still as big of a loser as you always were. At least have him beat someone before you crush him like this. Unless they’re going with the idea of Cena basically being on his own at the PPV, I really don’t see the need to have Swagger get beaten this decisively.
Post match the doctor looks at Swagger so Rollins gives Jack another Curb Stomp.
We look at Ambrose on the Peep Show from Smackdown. Wyatt interrupted and said Dean was just as broken as Harper and Rowan were. Bray mentioned Dean’s father being in prison and seemed to get under Ambrose’s skin.
Ambrose says he has a rap sheet as long as your arm but he doesn’t claim to be anyone’s hero. He’s fighting demons a lot scarier than Bray Wyatt but he doesn’t hide from anything. Dean is going to take Bray down hard with him and there’s a special place waiting for both of them. The match is official for Survivor Series.
Kane tells Ryback he’ll be at ringside for the main event. Ryback says he’s got it covered so Kane tells him to learn some humility. Ryback tells him to stay out of his way.
Paige vs. Alicia Fox
Guess who the fans are behind here. Fox jumps Paige to start and kicks her out to the floor. Back in and a northern lights suplex gets two for Alicia and a backbreaker gets the same. Paige gets all fired up and nails the Rampaige for the pin at 2:14.
Stephanie recruits Rusev for the Authority but Lana isn’t sure. They’ll consider it though. McMahon calls her a stuck up little Russian twit and offers to scratch Lana’s back if Lana will scratch hers.
Xavier Woods video. I believe this is the same as last week.
The Authority watches Vince’s speech from last week and say Vince has tried this kind of stuff before. HHH thinks he’s trying to split them up but says they’ll dominate at Survivor Series. Stephanie asks what if but HHH says they can’t think like that.
Here are the Russians for a victory celebration. Lana calls Rusev being US Champion ironic because Russia is superior to the United States. If not for Russia saving the British military, everyone here would be speaking German. A Russian guy in a suit reads a proclomation from Putin, basically saying woo hoo go Rusev. The Russian national anthem plays but Sheamus cuts things off. He storms the ring and Rusev bails to the floor.
We love veterans!
US Title: Sheamus vs. Rusev
Rusev is defending. Sheamus powers him into the corner to start and knocks the champion to the apron for the ten forearms. They head outside with Sheamus being sent into the apron and then thrown onto the announcers’ table for a good crash. Back in and Rusev puts on a hard front facelock to take Sheamus back down to the mat. Off to a cobra clutch for a bit before a big spinwheel kick puts Sheamus down again.
Back from a break with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock as the Stooges are watching from ringside. Sheamus nails his running ax handles to the face but charges into a dropkick to put him right back down. A powerslam drops Rusev for two and Sheamus heads to the apron for the ten forearms. The slingshot shoulder sets up White Noise but Rusev rolls out. He doesn’t roll far enough though as Sheamus tries the Cloverleaf. Rusev kicks away but Sheamus grabs a jackknife rollup for two.
The champ comes right back with a gutwrench suplex for two and takes Sheamus to the corner, only to get caught in White Noise for an even closer two. The fans start an OLE chant as the Brogue Kick misses. Instead Rusev bails to the floor so Sheamus nails a top rope shoulder to drop him again.
Another ax handle to the head has Rusev in trouble and Sheamus throws him into the barricade over and over. Rusev dives back in and the referee checks on him as the Stooges jump Sheamus. The referee turns back around and starts the count at 8 (totally against the rules that have been in place for like, ever) to count Sheamus out at 15:47.
Rating: B-. As I was watching the finish, I actually said “they’re going to restart the count”, because THAT’S WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO. I mean, Gorilla Monsoon used to point that out and it’s been the case as long as I can remember. Then again, this is WWE where you can change the rules on a whim, especially when you need a way out of a good match. As usual, you can tell how good a Sheamus match is based on how sweaty his hair gets. Good stuff here.
Post break Lana agrees to put Rusev on Team Authority.
We recap the opening segment.
Rollins comes in to see Ryback and tells him to take orders from him instead of Kane. Ryback says he destroys whatever target is in front of him. Also, it’s the big man, not the big guy.
Los Matadores vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow
The actors have Hornswoggle in a black coat of his own. Miz runs over Fernando to start but Fernando keeps dropping to the mat until OLE! Diego comes in with a slingshot hilo for two but gets caught in a Reality Check. Lawler points out that almost all of the teams in the tag division look alike as the fans want Mizdow. Miz teases tagging him in but opts for a corner clothesline on Diego instead.
A top rope ax handle gets two on Diego as Jerry wants to know why Miz has a stunt double but Tom Cruise doesn’t. It’s finally off to Mizdow for one of the loudest pops of the night. Miz almost immediately tags himself back in and Diego runs over for a tag to Fernando. Everything breaks down and Miz kicks Fernando in the face. The little guys get into it and we get the Wrestlemania V ending with Mizdow holding down Fernando’s foot to give Miz the pin at 4:55.
Rating: D+. This is basically the same thing as we had last week with the tag teams having matches against each other. I’d almost bet on Goldust vs. Jey Uso either tonight or next week just to complete the foursome. Odds are it’s a fourway tag match at Survivor Series, even though I’m not sure how they fill in a card with 18 people in two matches.
Ziggler and Cena have a meeting in the back with Cena saying Swagger has been lost. Dolph isn’t going to let the same thing happen to him and Cena promises to have his back. Cena goes to leave when HHH dances in. HHH is cool with Cena having his back but not at ringside. The boss leaves, singing Another One Bites the Dust on the way out.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry
Non-title again and we get the eyes talking to Dolph before the match again. The big man misses a charge in the corner and a rollup gets two for Dolph. Ziggler charges into a bearhug but faceplants Henry down to get a breather. They head outside with Henry missing a charge into the barricade but coming up with a chair for the DQ at 2:47.
Henry loads up the steps post match and loads up the World’s Strongest Slam. Cue Big Show who blocks a steps shot and knocks Henry to the floor. Show says he’s on Team Cena, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.
Video on Kofi Kingston in the exact same style of the Woods video, even shouting NEW DAY over and over. So the stable is happening.
Team Cena meets up in the back and says they need two more. Sheamus comes up and says they just need one more.
Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee
Non-title again. Brie quickly takes her down and gets two off a running knee to the face. A missile dropkick puts AJ down again but Brie charges into some knees in the corner. The Black Widow is good for the submission at 2:14.
Nikki lays out AJ with the Rack Attack post match.
We see the veteran who is walking again using some new technology from Smackdown. Still cool.
Henry comes in to see Ryback and talks down to him as well. I sense a theme building.
The Grumpy Cat is still guest starring on Raw next week. Seriously that’s happening.
Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd
Rose is still WAY over despite teasing a heel turn on Friday. The match is just getting going when Erick Rowan comes out and scares the Bunny half to death. He takes off the mask and says “she’s not here” before walking into the crowd. Natalya maybe? Rose kicks Kidd in the face and hits some running clotheslines but the Bunny gets on the top rope. Adam shouts him down but Kidd uses the distraction to put on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:20.
Post match the Bunny hops around Rose and helps him up, only to get kicked in the ribs for his efforts. Rose leaves with the Express, who doesn’t seem to mind.
We recap Vince’s speech from last week again to set up the stakes at Survivor Series.
The Authority (minus Ryback) is having a meeting. Kane thinks Ryback has an attitude when Ryback walks in. HHH says the match tonight is about Ryback so he should destroy Cena in short order. Stephanie gives them a pep talk.
Chris Jericho will be back on Smackdown for the Highlight Reel with the Authority.
Same Ambrose/Wyatt video from Friday as earlier.
Wyatt pops up on screen and says society tells us that we’re all imperfect. Everyone is to be accepted for who we are though. Even someone as different as a Dean Ambrose, when people would rather spit on him than throw him a dollar. Bray walks the same wire as Ambrose, who admits he was a sinner. Dean got that from his daddy, who was a sinner as well.
Society tells us that sin is bad but that’s just another lie they teach us. Bray knows the future for Ambrose because Bray is sin himself. If God walked this earth, he would make oceans to walk away from Wyatt himself. Dean can join Wyatt on the path of righteousness or he can walk away alone.
ECW Exposed is on the Network after Raw goes off the air. Joey Styles and Paul Heyman are at the studio and hype up the show a bit.
John Cena vs. Ryback
The Authority (minus the leaders) is at ringside. Ryback throws Cena around and runs him over with a shoulder to start. An early AA attempt is countered but Cena fights back with right hands to knock Ryback into the corner. The bulldog is easily countered into a powerslam for two and Cena is in trouble again. More right hands have little effect as Ryback throws Cena at the Authority’s feet. Kane yells at Ryback a bit, allowing Cena to send Ryback flying into Kane for a big crash as we take a break.
Back with Cena diving into a slam and getting suplexed for two. Cena grabs a belly to belly to put both guys down but gets caught with a Thesz Press. Ryback rams John’s head into the mat over and over before getting two off a splash. The Shell Shock is countered but Ryback counters the shoulder into a powerslam for two. Cena backflips out of a powerbomb and escapes something like a Razor’s Edge to put on the STF.
The hold is quickly broken and Ryback hits a kind of slingshot cross body for two. Cena comes right back with an STF in the middle of the ring but Ryback casually powers up into a Shell Shock. That’s countered as well into the ProtoBomb but Kane gets on the apron for a distraction. A spinebuster plants Cena again as the Authority is having issues on the floor. Kane gets in and nails Cena for the DQ at 15:07.
Rating: B-. These two have nice chemistry together and this was no exception. Ryback is capable of working more than just a quick match which is the best thing that could possibly happen for him. He may not be ready for the title but he can hold his own in the ring, which is a major problem for so many power guys.
Ryback shoves Kane post match so Rollins comes in to break it up. Ryback nails him so Kane boots him down as the Authority goes after Cena. Sheamus tries to come in for a save but gets caught by the numbers. Cue Big Show to knock out the Stooges but the numbers take him down as well. Ziggler is nowhere in sight but Ryback comes back in and destroys the Authority. He doesn’t say anything to Cena as he leaves. Cena counts his team and looks at Ryback before slowly applauding.
We cut to HHH and Stephanie in the back when Ziggler is thrown onto their couch. HHH looks up and sees Luke Harper, who says he’s a team player. The bosses aren’t sure what to do as we go off the air.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show for one major reason: stuff is actually happening again. There’s stuff like Rowan searching for someone, the teams taking shape, the tag feud (boring but happening) and the Bellas stuff (they look good at least). It’s so much better than the same boring stuff over and over again and makes the show so much easier to sit through. It’s still not great, but I’ll take this stuff over the dull episodes any day.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Jack Swagger – Curb Stomp
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Rampaige
Rusev b. Sheamus via countout
Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Los Matadores – Miz fell on Fernando
Dolph Ziggler b. Mark Henry via DQ when Henry hit him with a chair
AJ Lee b. Brie Bella – Black Widow
Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter
John Cena b. Ryback via DQ when Kane interfered
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