Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is all about the Nexus with the main event of Orton vs. Barrett for the world title with Cena as the referee. If Barrett wins, Cena is free from Nexus. If Orton wins, Cena is fired. Other than that we’ve only got one Survivor Series match which is kind of a letdown but it could be worse. This is one of those shows that doesn’t mean much because of what happens the next night anyway so it’s hard to get into this in a way. This is one of the two Survivor Series I reviewed live so the grades should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The usual opening video is the video that opens us. The idea tonight is Cena not wanting to compromise his integrity and give the title to Barrett when he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t want to quit. A song about being what you believe plays over this.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is challenging here because he wants to win his first title. Simple but effective I guess. Bryan has Rise of the Valkyries here which makes things all the more awesome but the lack of beard hurts. Maryse is with Ted here too and is rocking a beige dress. Bryan speeds things up to start and there go the lights. Daniel dropkicks DiBiase to the apron but as he goes to get Ted, Bryan gets suplexed out to the floor in a cool bump.

Back in and Bryan fires off the kicks. It’s so weird to not hear YES or NO whenever he hits…well anything actually. DiBiase hooks a chinlock to slow the champ down followed by a backbreaker and dropkick for two. Back to the chinlock as the fans are way into Bryan here. This one doesn’t last as long as Bryan fights up and speeds up the pace. There’s the moonsault out of the corner and a dropkick to send DiBiase to the floor. Bryan hits the suicide dive to the floor but he comes up favoring his shoulder. Why is that called favoring? It’s in worse shape than anything else so how is that favoring it?

They head back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two and it’s time for more kicks. The LeBell (NO) Lock can’t go on because of the bad shoulder though and DiBiase clotheslines him down. Dream Street (Cobra Clutch) from DiBiase is countered twice so Ted hits a sitout spinebuster for two. Dibiase’s superplex is countered a belly to back superplex by Bryan but he still can’t get the LeBell Lock. A rollup gets two for Ted and Bryan grabs the arm for the LeBell Lock to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like an extended Smackdown match but that’s not a bad thing. Bryan was still a pretty big underdog in a lot of his matches at this point but wins like this were exactly what he needed. DiBiase never got over in this role or really in any other either. He’s a guy who needs to change his name as he’s never going to get out from under his dad’s shadow and it’s crippling his career. Well that and WWE never putting him on TV.

As Bryan poses on the stage, Miz and Alex Riley (speaking of guys who need to be on TV more) jump him with the MITB case. Miz and Riley get in the ring but the lights go out again. Miz talks about how he’s from Cleveland and doesn’t like the Miami Heat that much. He compares Barrett to LeBron James because neither will ever be a world champion. The fans chant for the Heat and Miz says he’ll cash in soon. That’s true.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison. Sheamus is a bully, Morrison is sick of him. That’s it.

Sheamus says Morrison is jealous of him for being a former and future world champion because Morrison never will be.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Jerry tells a story of a guy in high school that kept taking everyone’s lunch money and picking on everyone he could but no one ever stood up to him. Striker: “Was his name Judas? (HUH?)” Jerry: “Actually it was Jerry Lawler.” Your lesson for the day kids: beat up other kids and treat them like trash and you could be a multiple time world champion and get a job on national TV every week and get into the WWE Hall of Fame. But you’d rather be a STAR right?

Cole says Morrison described this match as a tank against a fighter jet. Cole: “Of course Morrison the jet and Sheamus the tank.” What would we ever do without Cole? I’m not sure, but I’m going to go look into it. Anyway Morrison starts fast and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor followed by a corkscrew dive to take the pale one out. Sheamus sends him into the barricade and runs Morrison over with an ax handle.

Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans aren’t all that into Sheamus at all. A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and it’s back to a chinlock again, although this one has an armbar added in. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest from a seated position instead of in the ropes. It’s always cool to see the evolution of a move like that. Sheamus puts him on the top and pounds away again but Morrison slugs Sheamus down to the mat. A cross body gets rolled through for two for Sheamus and John is in trouble.

The Brogue Kick misses and Morrison enziguris him down. Morrison is all fired up and hits some clotheslines for two but it’s hard to keep Sheamus down. Irish Curse stops the momentum but it only gets two again. The High Cross is countered into a Russian legsweep for two for Johnny. Sheamus goes after the knee to stop Morrison again. This match really is as back and forth as it sounds. No one has had an extended advantage for the most part.

Sheamus puts the leg over his shoulder and pulls Morrison forward to the mat in a cool looking move that I haven’t seen before. Half crab does more damage for Sheamus but he slaps Morrison in the face a few times to tick him off. John kicks him down but Starship Pain is broken up with ease. The High Cross is countered again and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Morrison to hit the Flying Chuck and a running knee to the face for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. These two always have this freakish chemistry that really doesn’t make a ton of sense but is always there. Morrison’s flying style was a great counter to the power stuff from Sheamus, and as usual the idea of power vs. speed works as well as anything else. Morrison would never hit a level that they were hoping for him to, while Sheamus would go on to win the world title at Wrestlemania in a few years. You never know what’s going to happen in wrestling, which is why it’s funny.

Watch Big Show’s movie! No one else has.

R-Truth continues to meddle in Cena’s business and offers to interfere in the main event tonight because you can only win by pin or submission. He offers to attack Orton and Cena will be guilt free. Cena yells at him for suggesting it.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval is more famous as Low Ki and won NXT Season 2 to get any title shot he wanted. In his first win, he beat Dolph on Smackdown and picked to challenge for this title tonight. A quick elbow gets two so Dolph takes over with a forearm in the corner. There’s the Hennig necksnap and a mini AA for two for Dolph. A handspring elbow takes Dolph down and Kaval pounds away in the corner until a Vickie distraction lets Dolph take him down.

Kaval comes back with a handspring into a kick to the face in the corner which looked pretty awesome. Kaval goes up with his back to the ring, allowing Dolph to put on a sleeper on the top rope for some reason. Dolph gets knocked back and Kaval misses a big flip dive, allowing Dolph to hit the Fameasser for two. The sleeper goes on (on the mat this time) but Kaval escapes and is launched to the top rope where he springs off and hits a spin kick to the face in ANOTHER awesome looking move. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two before Ziggler gets a rollup of his own with tights to retain.

Rating: C-. Kaval tried here but this crippled whatever he had as far as momentum was going. He would be gone before the end of the year and I can’t say I blame him. The match here was ok enough but the chemistry didn’t click at all. Also, why would you pick a match for the IC Title when you can pick whatever you want?

Jack Swagger doesn’t like the idea about being on Team Del Rio, because it should be Team Swagger. Jack says some stuff about the Spanish being spoken here because he doesn’t habla Espanol. Rhodes, who is still Dashing at this point, comes up and makes fun of Swagger’s shoes. Del Rio, who only mostly sucks at this point, says that he won a bet about Swagger getting interrupted. This goes nowhere.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio, Chris Masters, Big Show, MVP, Kofi Kingston

Team Mysterio is all in blue in a nice touch. The fans chant for MVP as he’s the hometown boy. The captains start things off but there’s no contact as Del Rio tags in Rhodes. We start talking about baseball (Striker: “Rickey Henderson may be the greatest baseball player of all time.” Cole and Lawler: “WHAT???”) as Rey hooks an O’Connor Roll for two on Cody. Cody comes back with a Disaster Kick and stomps away in the corner.

Here’s Del Rio again who gets caught in the corner and hit by a hard running dropkick. Off to MVP who hits a dropkick and ducks an enziguri in the corner. This was right around the time when he was getting good, but he would be gone in less than three weeks. Here’s Kofi with some bouncing offense but it’s quickly off to Masters. Lawler does his usual talk about the Clowns vs. Kings back in 94 as Reks and McIntyre take turns beating on Masters.

Drew’s middle rope jumps lands on a boot and Masters can tag in MVP. MVP suplexes McIntyre down and hits the Ballin Elbow, only to fall victim to the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude ending from Mania 5 (MVP suplexes Drew but Alberto hooks MVP’s foot and Drew falls on top for a pin). Masters comes back in again and hits a kind of Jackhammer for two. Del Rio avoids the Masterlock and puts on the Armbreaker for the submission to make it 5-3.

Here’s Big Show as the stopper for his team and Del Rio bails, bringing in Swagger. Swagger tries to wrestle him down and is immediately chopped in the chest. A kind of chop block takes Show down and it’s back to Del Rio. Show glares at him again and Alberto tags out to Drew, but before Alberto gets out Show knocks him out cold. With McIntyre down, Show slams Kofi down onto Drew for a two count. Apparently Alberto can’t continue and is eliminated. Cody comes in to face Kingston and Rhodes snaps when he gets hit in the face. He goes on a rant and heads to the floor to check the mirror on the back of his jacket.

Rhodes heads back in and gets hit in the face again. Off to Show who slaps Cody on the back and the KO punch makes it 3-3. It’s Kofi/Rey/Show vs. Reks/Swagger/McIntyre and Reks immediately clotheslines Show down in an impressive move. Swagger comes in to work on the leg and hooks the ankle lock. After nearly tapping, Show crawls over to Rey for the saving tag. Rey speeds things up but Jack kicks his head off for two.

Swagger drills Kofi on the apron before catching Rey’s 619 into the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls through the hold and makes the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house and hits the top rope cross body on Reks for two. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. After Kofi gets down, Reks charges into a double boot in the corner for the fast elimination. Swagger comes in almost immediately and catches Trouble in Paradise into the ankle lock to tie things back up. Kofi tapping is a weird sight.

Back to Big Show who uses that large body of his to run Swagger over a few times before Swagger has to lay down so Rey and Show can do the on the shoulders splash. McIntyre breaks up the big splash though and Rey is down. Rey gets placed on the top rope but headbutts Jack down to the mat. The 619 sets up that splash off Show’s shoulders to make it 2-1. Future Shock is countered and it’s a chokeslam from Show for the elimination.

Rating: B-. This was a fine Survivor Series match with both teams working well together. I don’t get the point in having Del Rio eliminated that early, but I guess it allows for Rey vs. Del Rio to happen later on. The match wasn’t a classic but it worked well enough for what it was supposed to be. Decent stuff here and the fans were happy with the ending.

Randy Orton talks about how he’s tired of hearing all of the talk about Cena and Barrett, because tonight it’s either the RKO or the Punt to stop Barrett.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

I miss Laycool’s entrance, if nothing else for how they look in the shorts. Laycool are the co champions here as both have belts in a story that wasn’t that interesting in the first place. The champs have to tag here and it’s Michelle to start. Natalya takes it to the mat early on and Michelle actually takes over with the amateur stuff. Off to the hometown heel in Layla who distracts the referee so Michelle can pull Nattie onto the floor.

Back in and Natalya supelxes both chicks at once but her back is hurt in the process. Michelle blasts her in said back on the floor, but Natalya shoves Michelle over the barricade. They all brawl at ringside for a bit before Natalya and Michelle head into the ring. McCool gets rammed into Layla and the Sharpshooter gives Natalya the title.

Rating: D. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Natalya beat up Layla, then Natalya beat up Michelle, then Natalya beat up both of them at once. This wasn’t much of a match but it’s the kind of breather that you have to give the fans before you get to the big stuff later on. Laycool would be around for a few more months, but once they split they fell off the face of the planet all of a sudde.

Beth Phoenix returns to save Nattie from a double beatdown. This would set up a Divas tables match next month.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. Kane beat Taker in the Cell (Today is November 6, 2012 and that match is the last time Smackdown main evented a PPV to date) when Paul Bearer shocked no one and turned on Taker. Edge got this shot by uh……tall. I think he just got the shot because he was on a hot streak. Edge also kidnapped Bearer and tortured him and I don’t think has returned him yet.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane is defending here. Edge wheels out with an empty wheelchair to mess with Kane a bit more. Kane tries a quick chokeslam but Edge punches out of it. Kane sends him to the floor and Edge wheels the chair around a bit more to make Kane mad. A baseball slide sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside where the Canadian takes out the Spaniard’s leg. He wraps the leg around the post and lays on it for a bit to make sure we don’t get excited.

Kane gets in an uppercut to take over and slugs away slowly. The Big Bald chokes away and yells about Bearer a bit as the fans aren’t really thrilled by this stuff. Granted I question how many fans know Smackdown exists still so it’s a fair problem to have. To really mix things up, Kane puts on a cravate and yells even more. A low dropkick gets two for the champion and it’s back to the trusty cravate. Edge finally gets up and hits a cross body off the top for two.

Kane slugs him down but Edge dropkicks him out of the air on the top rope clothesline attempt. A side slam gets two for Kane and he goes up again. Edge makes the stop but gets crotched and clotheslined down for two. Something resembling a DDT puts Kane down but Edge’s spear hits boot. There’s the chokeslam for two so Kane tries the Tombstone. Edge slips down the back and spears Kane down for the pin and no title, because all four shoulders were down and it’s a draw. Yep, that’s really what they did.

Rating: F+. The ending until the cover wasn’t bad, but other than that this was dull, slow and horrible. These two just did not work well together at all, so of course they had another title match on PPV. Horrible match here as Kane just stood around and held Edge by the neck for LONG stretches of time. Kane would accidentally kill Paul Bearer soon after this. Don’t ask.

Kane beats up Edge post match. Edge comes back and puts Kane in the wheelchair and sends him through part of the barricade.

Barrett tells Cena if he doesn’t help him tonight, Cena is gone. Apparently Nexus started in this building. Cena says he knows what he’s going to do.

Tag Titles: Nexus vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella

Slater and Gabriel are the champions here and have Harris/McGillicutty/Otunga with them. Santino and Slater start things off and Marella gets to use some of the martial arts that Kozlov has been teaching him. Off to Gabriel and Kozlov who tags himself in. Remember that two years ago, Kozlov was in the world title match against HHH and now he’s here. That’s quite the fall. Gabriel dives at Kozlov and gets caught in a kind of spinebuster to give the challengers control.

Gabriel gets in a kick to take Koz down and Slater drops a knee for two. Back to Justin for a cravate and then a front facelock. Kozlov is about to get to Santino when Slater draws Cobra Man in. That’s some good old school tag stuff there and it’s awesome. Slater hooks a front facelock of his own but it’s a hot tag to Santino. He hits all of his usual stuff and loads up the Cobra, but the other members of Nexus distract him (not that hard really) and Slater hits the sleeper drop for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here that wouldn’t be on Raw on any given week. The tag titles were absolutely nothing at this point but then again that could go for any show for a good six year stretch or so. It makes the current tag team resurgence look more impressive as they took it from nowhere to something decent, which is a big deal. The match here was fine but it was another breather for the fans.

Post match the challengers get beaten down again and the Anonymous Raw GM says if Nexus interferes in the world title match, they’re suspended indefinitely.

We recap Orton vs. Barrett. Barrett got the title shot I believe through winning NXT and got Cena to join Nexus through winning at HIAC. Cena hates it and somehow he gets to be the guest referee tonight. If he screws Orton over, he won’t be able to live with himself, but if he doesn’t screw Orton over, Barrett will fire him. This gets the music video treatment of course.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Oh and you can only win by pin or submission. Feeling out process to start with Orton grabbing a headlock. A shoulder puts Barrett down and Orton fires away elbows and uppercuts in the corner. Cena finally does something and it’s correct procedure, but the fans boo because it’s against Orton. He goes the same thing to Barrett and Orton hits a dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor where Barrett hits a kick to the ribs to take over. Orton gets sent into the steps and punched down back in the ring. Barrett covers and gets a fair one count. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Orton fights back with his usual comeback stuff. The backbreaker gets two and Orton glares at Cena. Barrett gets in an uppercut and hits a top rope elbow for two.

Barrett hits his pumphandle slam for two and now Barrett glares at Cena too. This is pretty dull stuff so far. Wasteland is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam (called a Black Hole Slam by Striker) for another close two. The fans do the usual pro/anti Cena chants as Orton hits the Elevated DDT. Barrett gets in a knee to the head and Wasteland hits, but Orton grabs the rope at two. I do love how the idea that Barrett could just win the title on his own is a completely non-factor. Barrett shoves Cena so Cena shoves him back, right into the RKO and the clean pin to fire Cena. Striker: “Cena’s free!” Cole: “Cena’s fired.” Striker: “Oh.”

Rating: D. This barely worked as the focus was entirely on Cena and the match was really dull for the most part. It was someone hitting a move that would be lucky to get two and then glaring at Cena when they didn’t get a pin off of it. Cena was “fired” as a result, but would of course be back on PPV the next month. I don’t think he ever missed a Raw. I like the moment with him counting the pin because that’s him being himself which is the essence of Cena’s character, but the match sucked.

Cena has no idea what to do post match. Nexus runs in and gets beaten down by the Super Best Friends. Cena hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main events sucked but the first half or so of this was fine. The problem with the main event here is the same problem that brought down the whole Nexus angle: Barrett never won the title. Without that, Nexus and Barrett in particular weren’t really big threats but rather guys that annoyed Cena for a few months until he beat them all. Besides, the next night Miz cashed in and won the title after Cena cost Barrett another title shot. This show isn’t really worth seeing but it’s not horrible.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: C+

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D

Redo: F+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked this one WAY better on first viewing. Then again I didn’t know what was coming for Nexus back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/19/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2010-when-did-orton-and-barrett-get-good/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2012
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’ve got a good bit going on tonight, with the main thing being that Jerry Lawler is back from his very real heart attack. On top of that we’ve got the Ryback vs. Brad Maddox challenge match where if Maddox wins he gets a million dollar contract. Finally it’s the go home Raw for Survivor Series which is always interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual VETERANS ARE AWESOME video, narrated by Cena of course. Can’t complain much about this.

They do the stupid voiceover stuff here, this time about Lawler coming back for the first time tonight. This immediately transitions into a video on Cena/AJ/Vickie. You know, because a fake affair between two people who are single in both real life and in storyline is the same as a man nearly dying.

Cena vs. Punk tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

For some annoying reason, we hear about the rivalry between Del Rio and Orton. There is NO reason for that feud to exist anymore. Period. None. Think about it: why should I as a fan care about any of the matches between them if there’s seemingly no blowoff anywhere in sight? This is part of Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley. Have Foley and Ziggler ever even spoken to each other on television? If so has it been in the last year?

Feeling out process to start with Orton taking over by throwing Dolph into the air. A slingshot suplex gets two for the Viper but he misses a charge and gets dropkicked down for two. JR talks about how Orton was the sole survivor in 2004 and 2005 and made his name in Survivor Series matches. He was the sole survivor in 2003 as well so he really started making his name there but who’s counting?

Off to a chinlock but Orton easily suplexes out of it and hits his clotheslines. There’s the Elevated DDT and here’s Del Rio for a distraction. Orton knocks Alberto to the floor and counters the Zig Zag into a rollup for the pin at 3:16. I know they want to make him the new Austin but isn’t that quite a stretch?

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that I can’t stand rating due to how short it is. I usually only rate matches that run three minutes or more, so this barely qualifies as a ratable match. It’s your standard preview for the Survivor Series match, which means it’s not that good. Ziggler has to lose again of course though.

Post match Orton gets triple teamed until Kofi makes the save. This brings out Teddy Long who makes a tag match. Since Vickie is busy with AJ, Teddy grants himself power because it’s a Super Show. Is it even called that anymore?

Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

Dolph and Kofi start things off of course, which is probably the right idea given how good they are together. Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down and we take a break. Back with Alberto hammering away on Kofi before it’s back to Ziggler. Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down again and it’s off to the handstand chinlock. That stays on for a minute or so before Kofi fights out of it and makes the hot tag to Randy who gets to fight Del Rio. Everything breaks down and things start getting good. SOS gets two on Del Rio and Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise, but a Ricardo distraction lets Del Rio kick Kofi in the head for the pin at 4:37 shown of 8:07.

Rating: C. Better match than the first one, but did they really have to do THE EXACT SAME FINISH in the span of ten minutes? Are they that creatively bankrupt that they can’t come up with anything else? This was nothing of note until the end where things sped up, but most of the match was in the commercial so what is there for me to grade anyway?

Orton stares at Del Rio because there’s no end to this feud in sight because that’s how WWE works anymore.

Post break here’s Vickie with Ziggler, who is now in his THIRD STRAIGHT SEGMENT. Sweet goodness people you have three hours of Raw a week and THIS is how you use it? I like Ziggler but this is like Jerry Lawler on Memphis TV. He talks about the AJ scandal and we recap the pictures and video from the last few weeks. Vickie says that AJ has said that if they’re every in the same ring, the beating will be awesome.

Vickie calls out AJ and cuts her off, demanding an admission of guilt. AJ says she didn’t do it and GET THE HECK ON WITH IT. This goes on forever with Vickie saying that AJ has to admit the affair or something bad will happen and I zone out. AJ says she admits….that they’re just friends. OH SCREW THIS STORY.

I mean seriously, WHAT is this leading to? Vickie vs. AJ? That’s the payoff of this? Cena and Ziggler aren’t even fighting anymore and who cares? AJ says this is about Vickie getting passed over for the GM job at Raw 1000 and how AJ has abused her twice in the ring. AJ says that Vickie is throwing her weight around and we get a fat joke. Vickie has voicemails that may or may not have been doctored and this story just keeps going. One voicemail is just AJ talking to John, whoever that is.

A second talks about AJ and someone needing to stop this but again no name is given. AJ looks concerned after the third one, saying Vickie hacked into Cena’s phone and edited those together. AJ is about to yell when Ziggler cuts her off. Cena finally comes out and beats up Ziggler. Again, if that was the match on Sunday, this would be more acceptable. Still bad, but acceptable. Unfortunately, this ISN’T the match on Sunday and therefore is a BIG FREAKING WASTE OF TIME. This segment was nearly FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUTES LONG.

Cole and JR talk about the veterans a bit and we get a video about them.

Post break it’s MORE CENA AND AJ! They’re in the back and AJ is freaking out. Cena says that there’s nothing going on and not to worry about it. AJ implies that something might happen and Cena blushes a bit. They leave awkwardly as the crowd says ooooo.

We recap the pub fight from last week on Smackdown.

William Regal vs. Big Show

See, this is something where they could mix it up. Make this a world title match. Does it mean much? Not really, but would it hurt anything? Show is supposed to be all dominant so why not give the fans a chance to buy something could happen? It’s not going to hurt a thing but it could make things a tiny bit more interesting. Show pounds away on Regal but Regal keeps that psycho look on his face. A left hand has no effect on Show but Show misses an elbow drop. Regal goes off on Show but it’s a chokeslam for the pin at 1:40. Again, why not make that a title match to give people a reason to watch?

Post match Show loads up the WMD but Sheamus makes the save. Sheamus stomps and pounds on Show so the champion runs.

Kaitlyn vs. Layla

The winner gets the shot at Eve on Sunday who is on commentary. It’s one of those worthless forty five second matches (literally) with Kaitlyn countering a cross body out of the corner into a reverse DDT for the pin and the shot at Eve. And people wonder why no one cares about the Divas.

We get a video from two months ago where Lawler had his heart attack, including audio from the paramedics and backstage footage. Classy people those WWE bosses. I know Lawler is cool with it, but seriously, showing footage of a man almost DYING? Doing an angle in the ring is one thing, but that’s a bit much no?

Cole and JR are in the ring and here’s the return of Jerry Lawler. This is a really cool moment with the fans and announcers legitimately having emotion for someone coming back. Even Cole hugs Jerry which is a pretty big moment. Lawler isn’t sure what to say but he can’t believe he’s really back here. Jerry talks about the movie It’s A Wonderful Life, which is about a man who didn’t know how good he had it until he almost lost it. He thanks the fans for their prayers….and here are Punk and Heyman.

Jerry immediately gets out of the ring and Punk says that he’s glad Jerry got out of the ring, because he would have beaten Lawler to death….again. It’s ok to boo Punk but you can’t get Lawler involved right? Punk talks about how Lawler wants to relive his glory days and fight him but that’s in bad taste too right? Apparently one of the side effects is having a heart attack, and shame on all the people for blaming Punk for the heart attack. It’s all Lawler’s fault apparently because apparently Jerry couldn’t let it go.

Punk is tired of hearing about the number of minutes Punk was dead, but the real number is 358, which is the amount of days he’s been champion. He’s now past Diesel on the all time list, but once he gets past Cena, he’s pretty much done unless he has the title another three years. Punk tells Lawler not to die before the PPV, so Lawler says that Punk’s reign as champion is on life support.

Now we get to the controversial part of the show: Heyman fakes a heart attack. Punk throws up the X and performs CPR and Heyman is fine. It’s time for a little lesson from KB: those of you that were offended by this need to go watch Care Bears because it’s more at your maturity level. This is EXACTLY what people have been wanting for years: more mature storylines. These kind of things would have been tame back in the old days and if you believe Lawler wasn’t giving this the ok the whole time, you’re an idiot.

Punk played on the crowd’s emotions and the people hate him even more now. That’s called working the fans which you NEVER get anymore, and that’s because everyone is afraid of being offended. Was this evil by Punk? Of course it was. Was this playing on peoples’ emotions? Of course it was. Was this a good idea? Of course it was. I mean, it’s almost like Punk is a villain and he’s offended the fans. If only there were people that could avenge Punk by taking away the thing he loves most, say in a triple threat match. At Survivor Series. Available on Pay Per View.

Then, the fans that are glad to see Punk lose could say to their mom: “THAT WAS SO COOL! John Cena beat Punk for the Championship! Can I have a John Cena shirt? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?” It’s almost like it’s SMART BUSINESS. But hey, people might be offended so we should just carry on talking while people ask for more actions which will wind up offending them, because if there’s one thing wrestling fans know, it’s what they want.

Anyway this brings out Mick Foley, as in the guy that Punk STILL isn’t fighting at Survivor Series, but we need to push this story anyway because the idea of changing things on the fly is WAY too freaking complicated for this batch of writers. Foley yells about Punk and Heyman disrespecting the business. Punk: “Take it easy. This man just had a heart attack!” Foley says we’ll get to vote on the final member of the team tonight so Punk makes fun of him.

Foley goes on a BIG rant about how Lawler was dead but he’s back today. Let’s summarize this quickly. Foley: “You have no respect.” Punk: “I don’t just off roofs.” That takes a few minutes before we’re told that Foley is the enforcer for the main event tonight, because that changes SO much. Oh and don’t bother saying Cena’s name here. Innocent people might have kept watching!

Post match Punk rants to Heyman about how everything is falling apart. Heyman says we’re out of options and Punk says to fix it.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. Prime Time Players/Primo/Epico

Lawler is back on commentary officially. It’s Titus vs. Justin to start with O’Neal taking over. There’s the suplex drop with Young landing on Gabriel for two. Off to Epico for a chinlock and here’s Ricardo Rodriguez to give Rosa Mendes a note. She seems excited about what it said as Rey comes in to beat up Primo. A powerbomb by Primo is countered into a rana into the 619 position but Primo rolls to the floor. Rey hits a gorgeous Asai Moonsault as we take a break.

Back with Titus beating on Mysterio on the floor. They head back in for Titus to hit the Nikolai Volkoff gorilla press backbreaker for two. We hit the bearhug for a bit before it’s off to Primo. Rey kicks Primo in the head to put him down but Young gets the tag before Rey can. Scratch that as Kidd gets the tag and things speed up. Kidd kicks Darren in the head and hits a Blockbuster as everything breaks down. Things speed up so fast that I can’t type it all. It’s down to Kidd vs. Young with Tyson countering the Gutbuster into a 619 from Rey followed by the 450 from Gabriel for the pin at 6:31 shown of 10:31.

Rating: C+. This started slow but once Kidd hit the Blockbuster it went INSANE fast. That’s the kind of things WWE should be doing: fast paced tag matches with the guys that are capable of having fast paced tag matches. Start the show with THIS instead of the long and dull matches you did and things get off on a much better foot.

The WWE still loves the troops!

Brad Maddox is in the back when Heyman comes in. He asks the camera to be shut off and the two of them go for a walk.

Miz is in the back on the phone when Ziggler comes in. Dolph says it’s only a matter of time before Miz comes crawling back to the team and they get in an argument. Foley comes up and a tag match between the Rhodes Scholars and Kane/whoever wins the poll is made. Foley says Amy Schmumer, Dolph’s real life ex-girlfriend who broke up with Dolph for being too athletic in bed, says hello. Ziggler leaves and Miz asks to be on the Foley ballot. We have a face turn ladies and gentlemen.

The full ballot: Santino, Ryder, Miz. And WWE has the nerve to complain when we say these polls are dumb.

R-Truth vs. Tensai

Cesaro comes out for commentary as he defends against Truth on Sunday. He makes fun of America for being a joke like Little Jimmy which hasn’t been funny in months. This is joined in progress after a break with Truth fighting out of a chinlock. Tensai fires off some chops to the neck for two and it’s off to an armbar. Truth makes a comeback, hits a dropkick and the ax kick to set up Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:14. This was nothing and I have zero desire to see Cesaro vs. Truth whatsoever.

Post match Cesaro yells at Truth so Truth says knock knock. Apparently Europe in my face is there and on Sunday, Truth is going to knock Cesaro’s teeth into his esophagus.

We get a clip of Ryback vs. Maddox in WWE 13.

Ad for the NWO DVD which doesn’t look that bad. Pay no attention to the clips that are used directly from Monday Night Wars.

We recap Maddox’s explanation and Vince’s announcement last week.

We recap the show so far. Why in the world would ANYONE want to see this again? I mean they just AIR THE SEGMENTS ALL OVER AGAIN. Dear goodness almighty what is wrong with this company anymore?

Brad Maddox vs. Ryback

If Maddox wins, he gets a million dollar contract. There’s an ambulance waiting for Maddox. Lawler: “Hey my ride’s here.” What are you expecting from this match? Maddox tries to run, Ryback rams Brad’s head into the mat about ten times, tells Maddox that he’s dead, powerslams him down, Meat Hooks Maddox to the floor, hits three HARD powerbombs and Shell Shocks him for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: N/A. I’m not going to bother rating this one as it was a LONG squash. At the end of the day, there was nothing interesting or surprising here and this is basically the ending of the storyline from HIAC. Why anyone wanted to see this is beyond me, but then again the entire show has been worthless so far.

We’re STILL not done with this as Ryback destroys Maddox a bit more and puts him on the stretcher and against the ambulance.

David Otunga vs. Sheamus

Total squash AGAIN with White Noise and the Brogue Kick ending this in 2:20. Again, there’s juts NOTHING to talk about in these matches tonight.

Post match Sheamus says he’ll win the title back. We see Show on the screen beating up Regal in the back.

Bryan doesn’t like that Kane is having another partner tonight.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Kane/???

Miz wins in a completely not shocking landslide. This is joined in progress with Kane getting two off a suplex on Sandow. Off to Miz for a knee lift for the same and the corner clothesline keeps Sandow in trouble. Off to Kane vs. Cody with the Scholars continuing to be in trouble. Bryan pouting is hilarious stuff. Miz backdrops Cody to the floor and hits an ax handle off the apron before glaring at Bryan.

The distraction lets Cody hit the Disaster Kick and it’s off to Damien again. Wind-Up Elbow gets two and it’s chinlock time. That goes nowhere so Miz fights up and hits the Reality Check. Hot tag brings in Kane and a side slam gets two for Kane. Bryan and Miz get in a near argument and Cody gets chokeslammed for the pin at 5:39 shown.

Rating: C. This was just a regular tag match which went nowhere. Miz turning face is fine but at the end of the day, he’ll win a few matches then lose a few and no one will be any better off, because that’s how WWE works anymore. I guess we’re passing on the idea of the Scholars being champions anymore as they’ve lost time and time again. Actually scratch that as it means they’ll win soon I’m sure. Oh and of course the guy who is the big surprise turn doesn’t get to be in on the fall or anything like that.

More stuff about the troops. Tribute to the Troops is coming to Norfolk.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Non-title of course. Feeling out process to start with Cena cranking on the arm. Foley is guest enforcer and glares at Punk on the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena on top but falling out to the floor with Punk. Back in and a neckbreaker from Punk is countered into a backslide by Cena for two. Off to a chinlock by CM which is shifted into a sleeper. Cena starts his comeback but gets rolled up when he tries the Shuffle. A neckbreaker puts Cena down but the Macho Elbow misses.

There’s the Shuffle again but Punk rolls away. The AA is countered and some kicks get two for the champ. GTS and AA are both countered so Punk puts on a Koji Clutch. Cena gets the rope and counters the springboard clothesline into the STF. Foley takes out Heyman as the High Kick gets two for CM. The GTS is countered again into the STF but Punk makes the ropes again. The champ heads up the ramp but Ryback is waiting on him. Back in and the AA gets the pin at 10:30 shown of 14:00.

Rating: B-. It’s Cena vs. Punk with more than five minutes. Were you expecting anything bad? They’re making it seem like Punk has no chance in the triple threat, which is a pretty clear indicator that he’s going to retain the belt so he can lose the title to Rock at the Rumble, because WWE actually thinks we’ll buy Punk as having a chance.

Ryback and Cena both grab the title post match while Punk looks like he’s about to cry in the background.

Overall Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness Raw sucks anymore. There’s some stuff on here that’s worth checking out, but at the end of the day the first forty minutes are just SO FREAKING DULL that it kills anything good that could come out of the show later on. This PPV is so completely backwards and the show proves it. We sat through Foley vs. Punk and Cena vs. Ziggler here, but neither of those matches are happening on Sunday. They might have an idea where they want to wind up, but it’s clear they have no idea how they plan to get there.

Results

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton – Enziguri to Kingston

Big Show b. William Regal – Chokeslam

Kaitlyn b. Layla – Reverse DDT

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd b. Prime Time Players/Primo/Epico – 450 to Young

R-Truth b. Tensai – Little Jimmy

Ryback b. Brad Maddox – Shell Shock

Kane/Miz b. Rhodes Scholars – Chokeslam to Rhodes

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Smackdown
Date: November 6, 2012
Location: LG Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those cockamamie live Smackdowns that almost no one watches because there’s no reason to care about Smackdown. The main event for tonight is Del Rio vs. Orton, because we need it hammered into our heads that we wasted our time watching the three Barrett vs. Orton matches. Other than that there’s nothing announced for this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last night with the Survivor Series elimination match being shifted around.

Here’s Sheamus in the ring to open things up. Apparently there was an incident in a pub last night and we’ve got footage of it. It shows Regal, Sheamus and Big Show in a pub and a brawl breaks out. Show destroys Sheamus using various furniture. Back in the arena, Sheamus tells Cole to get out of the ring. He doesn’t respect Show because of Regal getting attacked in the pub, so Sheamus wants to fight right now. Not for the title, but just to fight.

Instead Show pops up on screen and calls Sheamus an ungrateful ginger. Show held back in the pub but at Survivor Series Show is going to go at Sheamus full speed. Sheamus calls him out again but here’s Barrett instead. Barrett says that Sheamus already has to face him on Main Event so don’t even worry about Big Show tonight. Sweet goodness just make the tag match already. Sheamus calls him to the ring again but Barrett leaves.

Barrett is in the back post match and Booker makes the tag match. Why do they bother having these ten minute openings when that’s the match announced every time? Seriously, that’s good TV time being totally wasted on pandering when you know the outcome the second the names are mentioned. It’s Sheamus/Regal vs. Show/Barrett if that’s not clear.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. Now remember: Miz has lost three straight times to Kofi but he got a pin in a tag match. That pin after a Show punch was apparently enough to convince Booker to give us this match. The first thing said during this match is that Kofi has Miz’s number. They’re not even hiding that there’s no reason to believe Miz can win here. The ropes seem extra loose here for some reason.

After a headlock by the champion he hits a monkey flip and clothesline to put Miz on the floor. A baseball slide misses for Kofi and Miz puts him on the barricade. Kofi is fine with that and walks the barricade like Jeff Hardy used to do, hitting a clothesline to take Miz down. Back in and Miz drops Kofi out of the corner and might have hurt the champ’s knee. We take a break and come back with Miz getting two off something we didn’t see.

Miz holds onto the ankle in a hold that really doesn’t look like it hurts. During the break Miz dropped Lofi’s knee on the steps and back live a dropkick to said knee gets two. Miz hooks a weird kind of standing Figure Four before going to the mat with a generic leg lock. Kofi’s solution? Kick him in the face. Why overcomplicate things? Kofi fights back and hits the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is countered. The Finale is countered into a series of rollups before Miz hooks a half crab. Kofi goes up again but gets crotched. Miz’s superplex attempt is blocked and Kofi hits a top rope cross body to retain at 11:29.

Rating: C+. We get it: Kofi can beat Miz. Now why did we need to see this for a fourth time? I’ve heard the plan is to move Miz to the main event again, so the solution is to have him lose FOUR TIMES? The lack of drama hurts this, as the announcers kept harping on the 3-0 that Kofi has been since this feud started. Not a bad match but it was beating a dead horse.

Post match Miz offers a handshake (you read that right) but Kofi dropkicks him to the floor. Jerk.

Prime Time Players vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Young vs. Cara to start with Darren taking control. Titus adds his power stuff before it’s back to Young with a cravate. Titus breaks up a hot tag for a second before an enziguri from Cara lets him tag Mysterio. Rey speeds things up and ranas Titus into 619 position, only to have Darren break it up. Titus grabs a charging Rey and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. At least with this feud that keeps going the teams are alternating wins. Titus and Young have charisma to them where they’re fun to watch. Mysterio and Cara are going to be popular no matter what they do, so there’s nothing for them to lose here. This was short but it was competitive enough to not be terrible.

Post match Striker tries to interview the Players, but the Players interview themselves with every answer being millions of dollars. They make Striker say it too but he’s not so enthusiastic. They try to get Striker to do the millions of dollars dance but he gets whistled at for having no rhythm and a bad mustache. The Players do the dance instead.

As this is being written, Linda McMahon has officially lost her race in the Senate.

We recap the Cena/AJ/Vickie stuff from last night and by recap, I mean show the whole thing. We’re going to get MORE footage on Raw. Good grief END THIS STUPID STORY ALREADY!

Booker and Teddy talk about the tag match tonight with Teddy saying that he made a lot of tag matches too. This turns into Booker implying Teddy is sucking up to him. Oh wait Booker is just kidding.

Big Show/Wade Barrett vs. William Regal/Sheamus

After the break, we look at the video from earlier again in case someone forgot it. BIG pop for Regal. Sheamus chases the heels to the floor before the match starts and we stall a lot. Show wants to start with Regal but both guys tag to bring in Barrett vs. Sheamus. It’s their usual power brawling stuff to start with Sheamus finally getting two off a clothesline. Off to Regal in his one piece women’s swimsuit for his usual hard stuff to Barrett’s chest. Sheamus hits the slingshot shoulder for two.

Show yells at the referee a lot and it’s back to Regal, who gets a pop on his second tag instead of the first. Regal gets his legs swept out from under him and Big Show comes in to pound him down. The heels double team the home country guy but Regal keeps fighting back. Show shoulders him right back down and puts on a nerve hold as we take a break. Back with Barrett still working over Regal before bringing Show back in.

Show works on Regal’s arm and Regal yells a lot while having an EVIL look on his face. I think JBL said that the Souvenir has been changed to the Bull Hammer now. I wouldn’t be complaining about the name change. Barrett hooks a front facelock but Regal shakes him off. That and a forearm to Barrett’s face are enough to make the tag to Sheamus who fires off a bunch of ax handles to drop Show. The top rope shoulder looks to set up the Brogue Kick but a Barrett distraction allows Show to spear Sheamus down. Off to Regal who fires on Show with everything he’s got, but the WMD knocks him silly for the pin at about 14:00.

Rating: C-. This was your standard main event tag match for the hometown audience. I’m kind of glad they didn’t have Regal get a win over either of these guys because it would have been silly to have a guy never on the show get a win over a top guy. If this were a house show it would have been fine but on TV Regal losing was the right call.

We recap the food fight last week with Orton and Del Rio.

Del Rio doesn’t have much to say but Rosa wishes him luck.

We get the Brad Maddox segment from Raw. This one is clipped though.

Orton says he’s crazy and doesn’t mind being called names by Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

This is falls count anywhere and anything goes, since I guess Hardcore is on the not cool list of terms now. We come back from a break but WAIT, before the match we have to look at some SyFy show to fill in more time so we don’t have a 25 minute main event. Here’s Alberto, but here’s ANOTHER recap before the bell can ring. If anything goes here, why doesn’t Ricardo come in and help Alberto?

He hands Del Rio a chair but Orton knocks it away from Alberto. The chair gets wedged between the top and middle rope in the corner but Orton dropkicks Del Rio to the floor. Alberto sends him into the barricade and has to escape the Elevated DDT. They head into the crowd with Randy giving chase. Del Rio whips him into some big metal cases. They head into the concourse and we take a break.

Back with the brawl continuing in the back before they head into the arena again. Del Rio drapes him over a barricade and hits a knee lift for two. They fight back up the steps with Orton pounding him in the head. A cameraman goes down as we go to a flat area where Del Rio hits a superkick and a chair shot for two. We take another break and come back with Del Rio having steps placed in the ring. Orton fights back and they go to the floor by the stage where Orton backdrops Del Rio from the floor to the ramp for two.

Ricardo tries to choke Randy a bit and is immediately shrugged off. Orton throws Ricardo into the British phone booth on the stage and pounds on him a bit. It’s about time some of those props up there were used. Orton hits the clotheslines back in the ring and sends Del Rio into the chair that Alberto set up earlier. Del Rio sends Orton to the apron but Orton comes back with a headbutt.

There’s a table set up at ringside but Orton can’t suplex Bertie through it. Instead Alberto hits an enzugri to send Randy through it VERY slowly. That gets two on the floor and Alberto grabs a mic. He says he’s the new Apex Predator of the WWE and there’s the armbreaker. Apparently rope breaks don’t count here (yet they count in the Cell I believe) so Orton has to hit Del Rio in the head with the mic to escape. Alberto sends him shoulder first into the post and pulls the steps into position. Del Rio tries an Elevated DDT onto those steps but Randy escapes and it’s the RKO onto the steps for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B. For a main event on free TV, this was a solid hardcore match. Does Orton ever lose matches with rules like this one had? They beat on each other really well with Orton getting the better of it for the most part, but Alberto didn’t look bad at all. Hopefully this ends the feud like traditional storytelling would dictate.

Josh’s line to close the show: “Who is the Apex Predator of the WWE?” SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FREAKING MATCH??? Orton just beat him in a brutal match but we’re still not sure? And they wonder why no one is interested in their stories anymore.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was good but the rest of the show was only ok. Te real problem here is that Smackdown adds absolutely nothing to WWE anymore. It’s a lot of matches you different versions of on Raw and a big tag match that doesn’t mean anything outside of England. On top of that you get long recaps from Raw and that’s it. Seriously, what else is there on Smackdown? Oh there’s that wacky Teddy and Booker bantering.

This show is worthless anymore and the rating is going to bomb with the election being tight at the moment. But hey, when you have a ton of bad stuff on Raw, the solution is to just air it again right? Tonight’s episode did not need to be on Tuesday and it’s not going to mean anything, as these feuds are the same ones you get on Raw. Why the WWE thinks people want to see them again on Tuesday/Friday is beyond me, but what do I know?

Results

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Cross Body

Prime Time Players b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Clash of the Titus to Rey

Big Show/Wade Barrett b. Sheamus/William Regal – WMD to Regal

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO onto steel steps

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Seriously.If you can stand to think about it, last year Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and went on a joyride around San Antonio.  During that scene, he was wearing a Sheamus t-shirt and black jeans.  The thing is, that made him look far more intimidating and serious, which is what the segment needed.  Sheamus, like many other wrestlers, has a physical attribute that makes them look less than intimidating.  Also it doesn’t help that he’s often in wrestling trunks.

The point is, at times wearing street clothes can help a segment quite a bit.

Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2011
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

This is the first Smackdown after the walk out on Monday so I’m sure we’ll hear about that non-stop. Henry is still world champion so we’re probably looking at Henry vs. Orton III at Vengeance because the Cell is just another match in this feud that probably ends in last man standing or something like that. Anyway we’re in that weird period again where we have to push hard for Vengeance but there is so much from Raw that we need to take care of that first. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video about the walk out and all that jazz. This eats up like four minutes.

Teddy is in his office (and gets a pop) and is on the phone with HHH. He says he won’t let the Game down. Ryder pops up and Teddy says that he (Teddy) is in charge tonight. Ryder wants to know what’s going on with the walk out and Teddy says it’s none of his business but Raw’s loss is Smackdown’s gain so he has work to do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is stupid stories that go totally in the face of continuity or character development like Beth, the monster that eliminated Khali from the Rumble a few years ago saying she was just a girl and could get hurt, for the sake of drama.

Big Show is back tonight.

Here’s Vickie to open the show with the disgruntled heels in the ring behind her. Christian takes credit for the whole uprising and the fans chant for HHH. Ziggler says it was a group effort and they were the leaders of the walk out. Barrett is with them too. Otunga says they’ve walked out on HHH and Raw but will be here on Smackdown. Wait….oh never mind.

Anyway if HHH doesn’t quit Monday, they’re leaving house shows and PPVs as well as Smackdown. Barrett says HHH should do the right thing and resign. Cody says he’s part of a united front and now there is hope for change. However they all couldn’t have done it without one (unnamed) man. Swagger says show some respect for Alberto Del Rio. Ok so it was Del Rio’s plan? Here’s the champ and he says he survived the Cell and is champion despite HHH. They’re never going back to Raw until HHH is gone. He’s here tonight to compete.

Cue Teddy who says if these guys keep talking then it’ll be the audience that walks out. The main event is Cody/Christian vs. Sheamus/Orton. Alberto is up next though and has a match against a hand picked opponent (Alberto’s hand that is) and that would be Sin Cara. I’m assuming they mean the blue one because heel vs. heel doesn’t happen.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio starts off hot to start and Cara is beaten down quickly with the Mexican hitting a German on the Mexican. It was so good that we saw it on two different replays. Off to a chinlock which Booker says is spectacular. Cara goes up and hits a rana and a tornado DDT as things speed up a bit. Cole blames Lawler for the walk out which is right in a way. And that doesn’t matter as the cross armbreaker ends this in 3:18.

Rating: D+. Not sure what the point of this was as Cara was treated like a total jobber. Don’t get me wrong: he shouldn’t have had a chance in there and shouldn’t have won or anything like that, but I would have expected more than three minutes and change for a guy that had a featured PPV match five days ago. Del Rio looks dominant though and that’s what this was for.

Post match Sin Cara Black comes out to beat up Blue. He works on the arm a lot and hits a Swanton to leave Cara laying.

Cole says he walked out because HHH wasn’t listening to anyone but himself. Booker says he’s neutral and had to go to the bathroom. Little too much information there Book.

Air Boom says it’s probably not HHH’s fault but until HHH steps down, Air Boom won’t be on Raw but they’ll be on the blue show every week. Kofi says it’s due to chaos, but it hasn’t been chaotic at all, at least not more than normal.

Air Boom vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Air Boom has new music. I guess we’re doing the whole “challengers get beaten time after time but keep getting shots and matches until they win once and can declare themselves better based off that one match” thing. They jump the champs during their entrance and take over early. It’s a big beating in the aisle but I think we’re still going to start the match in a few minutes here.

Bourne takes a Zig Zag on the floor and we take a break. Back and we actually have a bell to start. Bourne is out cold so it’s 2-1 with Kofi starting against Swagger. Evan is sitting up now. Kofi avoids a splash and it’s off to Jack again. Ok make that Dolph. Team Vickie is beating Kofi up pretty well here. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Kofi is still in his t-shirt. Bourne pops up onto the apron and tags himself in but his neck is messed up. Dolph hits a neckbreaker and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this at 3:08.

Rating: C. Not bad here although it was short. The idea here is simple: the heels cheated to win. Why do you need anything more than that at times? The neckbreaker was smart as it played to the injury rather than going with some generic move that doesn’t play to the established injury. Why do so many guys have issues figuring that out? This was fine.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Glam Slam, pin, 35 seconds.

Post match Nattie puts Alicia in the leg hold and Alicia screams as Beth wants tears. This is kind of disturbing. But can she do that to a chick who is known for spanks and Stinkfaces and has a song about hollering in a club? Apparently not on her own.

Video 9583 on Henry, this one featuring Big Show.

Big Show makes his return and certainly hasn’t lost any weight. He talks about how good it is to be back and praises the fans a bit. We get a clip from MITB which was 4 months ago in WWE time (the show was July 17). Show talks about how he was humbled by Henry which is an image I didn’t need. He’s starting to cry. Henry reached into his chest and tore out his heart. Show couldn’t do little things anymore like putting on his shoes or going upstairs or playing with his dogs. Dude you broke your ankle. You didn’t lose your legs.

The fans chant for him and we actually see them chant. The pain is what fueled the fire in his stomach. He used it to get better and stronger. Henry is going to get the pain and hurt back ten times over. Show says Henry is on a roll, but it’s downhill. At the bottom of that hill is Big Show and all the pain and anger is being loaded up in his fist. He’s going to put that fist onto the side of Henry’s head until Show takes the thing that Henry defines himself by: the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll settle for nothing less than a one on one match and he wants it RIGHT NOW.

Here’s Henry who says that things have changed since Show was here. The Hall of Pain is getting crowded and now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. Henry wants to know who Show has beaten recently to earn a shot. They keep saying four months. Can no one in this company ready a calendar or count to three? Henry says he’ll let Show know about when and if Show gets a title shot. Show says Henry has until the end of the night or he’ll break Henry’s ankle and put him through the table. I liked Show here as he kept things simple.

Orton says he doesn’t want to beg for one more match and if he has to go through the entire roster, he’ll do it. As for the walk out, if he had a problem with HHH he’d go take care of it in person. He doesn’t play well with others so Sheamus will have to see how things go tonight in the main event. This was said with a non-evil smile.

Brodus Clay is still coming. As long as he doesn’t run into Johnny Curtis he’ll be fine.

Mahal runs his mouth a bit and is cut off by Big Zeke’s music. He only talked about 4 seconds so it wasn’t anything to see.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Jinder Mahal

He talks some more and gets shushed and then punched. Jackson overpowers him to start and then runs through him with the slams. Mahal escapes the Rack and fires off with a jumping knee. Jackson shrugs it off and slams him even more before the Rack ends this at 2:06. Just a squash. Did Mahal walk in on Vince practicing Stand Back or something?

Post match Jackson says shhh again.

Johnny Ace comes in to see Teddy and says we’re in uncharted waters. They’re both company men and since HHH isn’t here tonight, Ace is supporting Teddy. If Teddy loses control of Smackdown, the WWE Universe will lose faith and then……well that’s all he says.

Here’s Hornswoggle. He and Booker go into the ring and do Spinaroonis. They get cut off by Christian and it’s already main event time? Wow there’s a ton of time left too.

Christian/Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

They have over 20 minutes for this. Sheamus vs. Christian gets us going but it’s off to Cody very quickly. Cody gets pounded down and we get the forearm smashes in the ropes. The Canadian distracts the Irishman so that the American can hit a Russian for two. The mask Cody wears costs $20,000 according to Cole. Methinks Cody got ripped off. Hot tag to Orton who cleans hour and beats up Christian. Something sounds right about that. Booker: “These guys know each other like a good book and right now Orton is reading him like never before.” Cole: “WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???”

Elevated DDT hits but some Cody distraction lets Christian take over as we go to a break. Back with the heels working over Orton and it’s off to Cody. Oh I forgot we still have Henry’s reply to Big Show so they won’t use the full time. Orton avoids a spear and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. Flying battering ram misses and the Irish Curse is now a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Why do they keep changing the names of moves? Cody escapes the Brogue Kick but an RKO out of nowhere by the illegal man pins him at 6:25 shown of 9:55.

Rating: C. I really wasn’t impressed here but the match was ok. Sheamus keeps looking good and I’m glad he and Orton seem to be sharing the top spot on the show. Good enough for a main event but the shortness of it really hurt things here. This getting more time would have helped it as there wasn’t enough time to build drama or anything like that.

Remember the video about the walk out earlier? Here it is again.

There will be a Raw Monday but we’re not sure who will be there.

Here’s Marky Mark for his reply to Big Show. He talks about how he’s infallible just like Big Show but Show gets no title match. Show comes out and beats down Henry. He beats the champ down and shoves security out of the way. A spear puts Henry down and security gets beaten down again. Henry leaves and holds up the title but for once, someone goes after him while he’s standing there and the fight starts up again.

Henry throws him around (that’s still scary) and sets for the Slam through the table. Show fights back and gets a good chokeslam to put Mark through it. He wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle and (after tossing a huge chair aside with one hand) he pulls the steps over and looks to Pillmanize it but Teddy calls him off, saying Show gets the world title match as long as he doesn’t jump onto the ankle. Show steps down and walks away but then goes back and cracks Henry over the back with the chair. Henry looks mostly dead to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a pretty weak show overall, especially by Smackdown’s normal standards. We have our main event and I really like that it isn’t Orton again. He looks like he’s shifting over to Rhodes which would be a nice breather outside of the main event for him. As far as Henry vs. Show goes, that could be interesting and decent if they keep it short. No more than like 8-9 minutes and it could be watchable, which is the case for most monster battles. Watchable show here, but not great by any means.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler b. Air Boom – Gutwrench powerbomb to Bourne
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Ezekiel Jackson b. Jinder Mahal – Torture Rack
Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Christian/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes

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Really, they are.They have great talent down in NXT, a solid (though confusing) main event storyline, part timers doing what they should be doing, John Cena and Sheamus waiting in the wings, and Punk/Heyman owning the world.  What more can you really ask for?

And cue everyone saying that WWE sucks.

Night of Champions 2012
Date: September 16, 2012
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s another WWE PPV here and in this case almost everything is for a title. This doesn’t really mean much as almost every show has four or five title shots but it’s an interesting theme I guess. The main event here is Cena vs. Punk III for the title with Punk defending for once, which is the third combination they could go with in their series. Other than that not much really stands out here so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Brodus Clay, Epico, Primo, Justin Gabriel, Tensai, Tyson Kidd, Michael McGillicutty, Zach Ryder, Titus O’Neal, Darren Young, Jinder Mahal, JTG, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Ted DiBiase, Santino Marella

The winner gets a US Title shot at Cesaro later in the night. Cameron is back from suspension apparently. Anybody but Santino. Anybody. Slater asks everyone to stand back so he can dance and he’s eliminated by 15 people at once. McGillicutty is thrown out as is DiBiase in about 40 seconds. Brodus dumps Primo and Mahal a few seconds later. The problem in battle royals is that there isn’t much else to say other than who tosses out who until we get to the end. Brodus puts out Epico and Tensai LAUNCHES Gabriel out.

Kidd is sent to the apron and tries a slingshot hurricanrana but gets powerbombed onto the pile of people. The monsters square off and Santino tries a double Cobra to no avail. The Players and McIntyre team up and dump Brodus, who may have hurt his shoulder. The Cobra puts JTG out and Ryder dropkicks McIntyre out. Brodus leaves and his shoulder seems fine so maybe it was just something quick. There’s the Cobra and it drops Tensai and Young, with the latter getting covered.

O’Neal dumps Santino and we’re down to Titus, Young, Tensai and Ryder. Titus suplexes Young onto Tensai before the partners go after Ryder. The Players double team Ryder but get dumped by Tensai. Tensai thought Ryder went out but he slid back in. Tensai charges into the double knee in the corner but he blocks the Rough Ryder into a powerbomb position. He goes to dump Ryder but Ryder counters into a hurricanrana to eliminate Tensai for the win at 5:42.

Rating: C-. It’s a battle royal so there isn’t much to say here. Ryder getting the shot is fine as the fans are going to react to him. He doesn’t have much of a chance against Cesaro but that’s ok as I’m sure more than one other title will change hands tonight. This was about what you would expect, but at least Santino didn’t win which would have been insufferable.

The opening video is all about Cena vs. Punk. They aren’t even hiding that the Smackdown Title means nothing does it?

Cole talks about the Lawler story and says that Jerry is going home this weekend. That’s great to hear. JBL is introduced as the replacement and says that he’s just keeping the seat warm for Lawler.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Before the match, Miz complains about having to be in this and says that he’s going to file a complaint against Booker T for making him do this. Miz is champion coming in if you’re new at this. Rey is sent to the floor to start but Cara sends Cody to the floor as well before armdragging Miz outside too. Cody and Rey come back in as Cara drops to the mat for no apparent reason.

It’s time for the masked guys to fight. I know this has been a match people have wanted to see and I’m not really sure why. Rey takes Cara down for two but Cody makes the save. The unmasked guys go at it for awhile and everything breaks down. Rey goes up but takes too long so Cara goes after him. The Disaster Kick hits Cara but Miz breaks up a superplex so he can hook a Tower of Doom which gets two on Rey. Miz sends Cody to the floor as the fans sound like they’re chanting for Cody.

The short DDT gets two on Rey but Cara comes back with some high flying stuff to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big dive. Rey hits a headscissors on Cody on the floor followed by a seated senton off the apron. Cara gets two on the champ off a slingshot senton but he gets sent into the corner for the corner clothesline from Miz. Rey comes in with a kind of Vader Bomb for two (why has that move become so popular lately?) but Cody jumps him from behind for two of his own.

Cara puts Cody in 619 position but gets sent into the post by Miz. Miz goes after Rey but winds up taking the 619 instead. The top rope splash gets two for Rey on Miz but Cody saves. Cody tries to steal the pin on Miz but Cara saves. Cody goes for Cara’s mask but Rey saves. Rey gets sent to the floor with his sliding bump and Cara hits Cody in the head with an enziguri from the apron.

Cara tries to put another mask on Cody but Miz runs in and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two on Cara. Miz tries to powerbomb Cara but Cara puts the mask on him instead. Cody tries Cross Rhodes on Cara but Miz bumps into them (he can’t see because of the mask) and hits the Finale on Cody for the pin to retain at 12:42.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as they hit a great streak of near falls and saves in there. The ending was creative but I’m really not sure what it added. Miz pinning Cody doesn’t mean anything significant and he would have hit the Finale on him in that situation if he could see or not. Good opener here which got the crowd fired up.

The Prime Time Players are talking to Eve when someone comes up to tell her there’s an emergency. Eve runs off and finds Kaitlyn down with a bad ankle. She isn’t sure who attacked her but Eve says they’ll figure out something.

We recap the Anger Management story with I believe the same video that aired on Friday. Basically Kane and Bryan both have anger issues and have been sent to anger management, resulting in some wacky outcomes and a tag title shot tonight.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Kane/Daniel Bryan

Kane and Kofi start but it’s quickly off to Truth. The big man powers Truth down and it’s off to Bryan for some NO kicks which drive him crazy. Truth armdrags him down and it’s back to Kofi with a top rope forearm for two. A BIG kick to the face puts Bryan down and it’s back to Truth for the spinning legdrop. The champions are the heels here by default, but it’s more like they’re just the less popular team.

Back to Kane who pounds Truth down into the corner and stomps away a bit. Back to Bryan and the fans erupt. The fans are going to turn this guy face by force soon and it’s going to be massive. Bryan fires off some kicks for two and it’s back to Kane for a low dropkick for two. The challengers try to work together but Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner and it’s time for a fight.

They almost brawl but Bryan wants to hug it out, drawing the pop of the night so far. JBL freaking out over stuff is something I’ve missed. Truth FINALLY makes the hot tag after apparently writing the great American novel while the challengers hugged. Kofi hits his usual stuff and it sounds like the fans are booing him.

Kane pulls Bryan to the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise and they get in another argument. Kofi dropkicks Kane and (almost) hits a flip dive onto Bryan. NO Lock to Kofi doesn’t work as Truth makes the save to more booing. Bryan kicks Kofi in the face but Kane tags himself in and loads up the clothesline. Another argument with Bryan lets Kofi run up for a rana but Bryan holds Kane’s foot. Kane stays on the top but Bryan shoves him off into a splash to Kofi to win the titles at 8:30.

Rating: B-. This was different but the fans ate it up with a spoon. There was absolutely no other option for this match as Kane and Bryan are currently over like free beer in a frat house. The pop for the win is bigger than probably all of the reactions for a tag title match in the last five years combined, so at least people are paying attention now.

Both guys say they’re the champions post match but Kane sends fire from the posts to end the argument.

Kaitlyn can’t go tonight and Eve says no one deserves the title match tonight. Booker says Eve can have it. Teddy isn’t pleased.

Cole and JBL talk about breast cancer and how WWE is partnering with a cancer research foundation which is why the middle rope is pink. Nothing wrong with that at all.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Antonio Cesaro

Ryder won the preshow battle royal to get this shot. The word of the night is Unfair, which is what Cesaro thinks this match is. Cesaro takes him down with ease to start but Ryder takes Cesaro down by the wrist to counter. A flapjack and dropkick get two for Ryder but Cesaro shrugs them off and hooks a chinlock. A clothesline gets two for Cesaro as does the gutwrench suplex.

Cesaro gets the same off a regular suplex and the fans cheer for Ryder. They slug it out but Cesaro throws him into the air and hits the European uppercut for two. Cesaro hooks a reverse neckbreaker but pulls Ryder onto his back for a submission hold. Ryder escapes and hits a discus lariat for no cover.

A rollup gets two for Ryder as does a middle rope dropkick. Ryder hits a neckbreaker for two and Cesaro rolls to the apron. He goes up but Ryder brings him down with a hurricanrana. Ryder loads up the Broski Boot but Aksana pulls him to the floor. Back in and a European Uppercut sets up the Neutralizer to retain the title at 6:40.

Rating: C-. This was perfectly fine. It wasn’t a great match at all but for a thrown together PPV title defense this was fine. Cesaro needs a bit more development but he’s fine having random challengers like this one. Ryder is good to throw out there as the people still like him so the fans react to what he does. Nothing great but this was fine.

Otunga, Del Rio and Rodriguez are in the back. Ricardo has his neck brace off and Otunga yells at him, saying it needs to be on at all times even though Ricardo says it’s not hurting anymore. They call Ricardo stupid and he puts the brace back on.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

Basic grudge match here. The fans like Ziggler and they fight over a lockup to start. Ziggler avoids a right hand and brags about doing so. A clothesline takes Ziggler down and Randy stomps away. Dolph comes back with a dropkick and a neckbreaker for two. Cole is playing the straight man on commentary here tonight and it’s really refreshing. Orton counters a suplex into a slingshot suplex for two.

The backbreaker sets up some clotheslines from Randy but he can’t hook the Elevated DDT. The camera keeps cutting to Vickie and it’s getting distracting. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but Orton counters into a powerbomb. Orton gets shoved off the top and a missile dropkick gets two for Ziggler. Dang it quit cutting to her. We get it: she’s on the floor and shouting a lot. We can see that very clearly from the regular camera shot.

Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows capped off by the jumping elbow for two. Off to a chinlock with the headstand by Ziggler but this time he bridges forward to crank on the neck even more. Back up and another dropkick gets two for Ziggler. Dolph goes up but gets crotched and superplexed down for two. They slug it out and Ziggler holds his own. He runs into an elbow but takes Orton down with the Fameasser for two.

They head to the floor with Orton taking over. He hits the Elevated DDT off the barricade but Orton throws Ziggler back in instead of taking the countout. That only gets two back inside and Orton loads up the RKO but gets countered into the sleeper. Orton throws him off his back, throws Ziggler into the air and pulls him into the RKO for the pin at 18:15.

Rating: B+. Very good match here with Ziggler more than hanging with Orton. JBL pushed the idea that if Ziggler cashes in, Orton should get a title match. My guess is that they’ll go with that feud after Orton gets back from the movie which isn’t a bad idea. I’m not wild on Ziggler losing AGAIN but at least it was in a competitive match.

We get a sneak preview of Dredd 3D.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Eve Torres

I can’t say I blame them for swapping in Eve. Kaitlyn just can’t do anything in the ring. JBL is talking about the Loch Ness Monster and other conspiracy theories for some reason. Layla grabs a quick rollup for two followed by a headlock. You can see the fans walking to the back during the match. A low dropkick takes Eve down and they shake hands, only for Eve to get a cheap shot to take over. Eve hooks a headscissors choke as the fans chant OLE. Layla makes a comeback but misses her bouncing cross body. The rolling neckbreaker gives us a new champion at 6:35.

Rating: D+. The match was technically fine but my goodness the crowd being silent brings it down. Eve being champion makes sense but it’s not like the title changes anything with her. She’s FAR better in the ring than some of the girls on the roster so I can’t complain much there, but they’ve treated the title like nothing for so long that this doesn’t mean anything at all.

Some cancer survivors are here and at least they’re not booed.

Now we get a video about breast cancer.

Bryan is shouting about being the tag team champions and runs into AJ who is just standing around with her hips cocked to the side in a short skirt. She doesn’t say anything so Bryan keeps walking and runs into Dr. Shelby. Kane shows up and shouts that he’s the tag champions (I’m not messing up with grammar. That’s what they’re saying).

They get in another fight and AJ snaps and tells them to calm down. Shelby makes Bryan congratulate Kane but Kane won’t say anything. Bryan yells that he’s the tag team champions but Kane pops up and pours Gatorade over Bryan. Kane: “I’M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!” Stop the shot. Just cut it now. This isn’t going to be topped. Kane can be heard running off shouting that he’s the tag team champions and AJ loses it with laughter.

The look on JBL’s face somehow makes it even better. “I came back for THIS???”

After that hilarious moment, we bring it way down with a recap of Del Rio vs. Sheamus. In short, they had a match, Sheamus beat Del Rio, they had another match, Sheamus beat Del Rio again, Del Rio complained, now they’re having another match and Sheamus can’t use the Brogue Kick.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is in mostly white attire here which isn’t a great look for him. We get the big match intros which is a nice touch. Before the bell here’s Booker T. He’s concluded his investigation into the Brogue Kick and the move is legal, thereby making the last two weeks TOTALLY POINTLESS. Sheamus fires a quick Brogue Kick but takes out Otunga instead. Referees come out to take Otunga to the back.

JBL defends his own loss to Mysterio in 23 seconds as Sheamus pounds away in the corner. A neckbreaker gets two for Sheamus and we head to the floor where Sheamus hits the shoulder from the apron. Del Rio throws him off the steps into the announce table to take over. Back in the ring and Del Rio cranks on the arm followed by a kick to the ribs. Del Rio uses Seth Rollins’ Blackout for two. Cole is talking about the history of the title and thankfully they say it only goes back ten years.

Sheamus’ shoulder gets sent into the post and a double ax off the top to the arm gets two for Alberto. Del Rio goes up again but Sheamus knocks him off, only to have Alberto grab an armbreaker over the ropes. An attempt at another ax handle is countered by an ax handle from Sheamus. Sheamus fires off more running ax handles and rams Alberto face first into the post.

There are the ten forearms in the corner and Alberto is in trouble. White Noise is countered into a Backstabber for two. The fans want Ziggler. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into White Noise and the fans still want Ziggler. The Brogue Kick misses and there’s the enziguri in the corner for a very close two. Another Brogue Kick misses but Sheamus escapes the Armbreaker but he can’t hook the Cloverleaf.

Sheamus charges at Del Rio but gets low bridged and his arm is trapped in the ropes. Del Rio fires away kicks and Sheamus is in trouble. There’s the Armbreaker but Sheamus rolls on top of Del Rio and powerbombs him down to break the hold. Brogue Kick misses and there’s the Armbreaker AGAIN. Sheamus almost taps but makes the ropes with his feet instead. The corner enziguri misses for Del Rio and the Brogue Kick finishes clean at 14:27.

Rating: B. These matches are fine but there are three problems with the feud. First and foremost, the story is incredibly boring. I mean, they’re REALLY boring. Second, Sheamus is not going to tap out to the Armbreaker. It’s flat out not going to happen, just like 99.99% of all heel submission holds in world title matches. It just does not happen in the WWE. Third, Sheamus has beaten him twice coming into this so what was the point of a third match? This feud needs to be over now, just like it needed to be over a month ago. Still though, pretty good match.

Video on the National Guard which has some members here tonight.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. Punk has been champion for about ten months but he thinks he can’t get respect because of Cena. Tonight he gets to define his reign, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Heyman is in the ring and praises Punk, saying that Punk has described himself as a Paul Heyman Guy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has the old school hoodie on and comes out first. Cena has a new shirt. Punk’s trunks are Yankees colors. My goodness they’re pushing the tar out of this heel turn. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Punk is getting booed but it’s not 100%. He holds up the title for like a minute before the match starts. It’s a pose off and Cena throws his shirt to the crowd where his dad catches it.

Cena takes him to the mat and Punk’s trunks even have pinstripes on them. Cena gets a quick headlock but it’s released quickly. Cole and JBL keep rattling off stats and histories which is much better than Cole laughing at stuff. A quick release fisherman’s suplex puts Punk down but Punk elbows Cena in the face to escape. Punk takes over with a headlock takeover and the dueling Cena chants begin.

Cena misses a charge in the corner and Punk dropkicks him in the face for two. They’re still in first gear. Punk walks over Cena’s body to get to the corner for some posing. That was awesome and he escapes the AA attempt on top of that. A DDT gets two for Punk and he fires some elbows to Cena’s chest. Off to a chinlock followed by a bridging Indian Deathlock and Heyman has those evil eyes going on.

They head to the floor as Cena tries to get a breather but Punk sends him right back inside. Cena baseball slides him to the floor and throws Punk into the crowd. A suplex on the floor takes Punk down and we head back inside. The AA is countered into a high kick and it’s off to a camel clutch. Back up and Punk fires off some jabs for two. The GTS is escaped and Cena starts his finishing sequence, only to counter the spinning slam into a cross body for two.

Cena avoids the neckbreaker and takes Punk’s head off with a clothesline for two. The Shuffle is blocked and Punk gets two off a neckbreaker. Punk goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into an AA attempt but Punk grabs the rope to block. Cena busts out a suicide dive to take Punk out. Not bad at all. Back in and Punk slaps on a very quick Anaconda Vice but Cena gets on top of Punk and puts on the STF. Punk rolls out of that into a Crossface but Cena stands up with it and slams Punk down to escape.

They slug it out with Cena taking over but he walks into a leg lariat. The knee in the corner sets up a clothesline followed by the Macho Elbow for two. Cena counters the GTS into the STF and JBL (I feel like I’m on Sesame Street) freaks out. Punk gets to the rope and the GTS hits clean for two. A kick to the head gets two and Punk slaps him in the face. GTS and AA are escaped but Cena hits the spinning slam and Shuffle followed by the AA for a VERY close two. Heyman looks like he’s 13 and finding a Playboy.

Cena goes up but misses the top rope Fameasser and there’s the high kick for ANOTHER close two. They’re in the main event slugout mode now and it’s great stuff. Punk hits some shots to the face and a spinning backfist. A knee to the head gets two and Punk goes up, only to miss a moonsault. It wouldn’t have hit even if Cena had stayed in the same place. AA is countered and a not so great GTS gets two.

Punk tries a Rock Bottom for two. Cena hits an AA out of nowhere for two. Cena puts him on the middle rope and tries a belly to back superplex but Punk knocks him off. John runs right back up and hits a middle rope German for the pin and the title at 26:54. Both of their shoulders were down and I think you know where this is going.

Yep the referee is saying not so fast (my friend) and it’s a draw.

Rating: A-. While it’s not as good as MITB (that’s an unfair expectation though) and a bit below Summerslam if I remember that match right, this was still top shelf stuff. The ending sets up another match in the Cell where it belongs and I’d certainly like to see another match between these two. I’m not wild on the ending but it makes perfect sense. Great match too.

Punk clocks Cena with the belt.

Overall Rating: A-. This was an excellent show with nothing bad on it at all. The worst match was probably the Divas and that was pretty much fine. Most importantly of all though: they treated the belts like something that mattered tonight and it made a noticeable difference. JBL on commentary was great and Bryan/Kane are still great. You had two really good matches and a bunch of other solid ones. Very good show here and probably their best PPV since Wrestlemania.

Results

The Miz b. Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and Cody Rhodes – Miz pinned Rhodes after a Skull Crushing Finale

Kane/Daniel Bryan b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Kane pinned Kingston after a top rope splash

Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Eve Torres b. Layla – Spinning Neckbreaker

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick

John Cena vs. CM Punk went to a draw

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Before we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show. My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two major things going on tonight. First of all, we’ll have the continuation and explanation of Heyman driving Punk away last week to end the show. The other is that Bret Hart is going to be in Montreal so you know the crowd is going to go nuts. This is the go home show for the PPV on Sunday so tonight is likely going to be a lot of pushing towards that show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bret to open the show. The fans give him a very long ovation and Bret talks about how dark that day in Montreal was. The fans got him through that time and he thanks them deeply. That’s about it and here’s Punk with less hair. Punk complains about Bret having a big ego and wants to know what would have happened if it had been him in Montreal instead of Shawn. Bret says Punk would have been in the Sharpshooter with his feet touching his head.

Punk says the WWE wouldn’t exist because he would have beaten Bret without Vince, then jumped to WCW and there wouldn’t have been an Attitude Era and the company would have died. Bret says that he’s the best there is, was and ever will be which gets on Punk’s nerves. Punk takes a jab at Lawler and in a bizarre moment, Bret defends Jerry. We get a clip of the end of last week’s show with Punk coming back and leaving with Heyman.

Punk asks Bret if Cena is here tonight and is going to save Bret if things get too heavy. Bret mentions the word respect and Punk goes off on him. Eventually Punk says he’ll put Cena to sleep on Sunday. Bret: “Just like you’re putting these people to sleep here tonight.” Punk says nothing else of note and we’re done. I’m not sure if I liked this or not. It was better than the Lawler stuff, but at the end of the day it’s the same thing he’s been saying over and over again.

Pick Brodus, Lawler or Orton to be Punk’s opponent tonight.

Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Cesaro’s five language word tonight is prestige. There’s going to be a battle royal on Sunday’s pre show to determine who gets the shot at Cesaro later in the night. Truth comes in pretty quickly and the tag champs clear the ring with Kofi hitting a bit flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Truth in a chinlock while Aksana lays on the apron and watches.

Off to Miz who hits the top rope ax handle for two. Such a shame to see a former legendary team like this fighting isn’t it? Truth comes back with a flying kick to take Miz down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house. A top rope cross body gets two on Cesaro and Truth takes Miz out with the spinning forearm. Kofi gets rolled up for two but even a handful of tights only gets two for Cesaro. Kingston pops up and Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Antonio at 8:10.

Rating: C. Just your run of the mill tag match here but it worked well enough. I’m ok with the champions losing here as it’s to set up the Night of Champions PPV, which means focusing on the champions by putting them in one match makes sense. Pretty decent match here and it’s nice to see the tag champions win a match.

We recap Sheamus and Del Rio’s stuff from Friday.

We go to a court deposition about the Otunga/Sheamus/Del Rio ordeal which involves Jewish and Mexican jokes from Sheamus. Otunga lists off some former victims of the Brogue Kick (including Daniel Bryan, making Sheamus answer every question YES in a funny bit) and we get some legal banter that belongs in a parody of A Few Good Men. Then Sheamus Brogue Kicks the camera and says let’s have a party, prompting him to belt out Hava Nagila. This was out there but it was certainly different.

Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla

Beth and Kaitlyn start us off and it’s quickly off to Nattie. Kaitlyn gets beaten down and it’s off to Alicia who hits a suplex for two. Off to Layla who cleans house before Eve tags herself in and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin on Alicia at 2:33.

AJ is looking a bit psycho when Punk comes up. He doesn’t like that Cena doesn’t have a match tonight and Punk doesn’t know who his own opponent is. He yells at AJ but she doesn’t back down. She leaves and Punk runs into Brodus who might face Punk tonight.

Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk is in Hart colors which is a weird kind of respect I guess. The champ starts with his traditional headlock to shout spots into Orton’s ear but gets hiptossed down and we stall a bit. Punk stomps him down in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A chinlock stays on Orton for awhile but he fights up and almost gets the RKO. Punk bails to the floor and tries to walk out but Orton makes the save. Orton throws Punk in first so CM dropkicks Randy’s legs out, sending Orton face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Punk dropping an elbow for two on Orton. Punk goes up top but Orton channels his dad and superplexes him down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton takes over, but the Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head and the springboard clothesline for two. GTS and RKO are countered so Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT hits but as Orton loads up the RKO, here’s Ziggler for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was your usual main event style match which wasn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. I don’t think anyone expected this to be a classic or anything and the ending was pretty predictable, but that’s ok in this case. I’m not wild on the Raw Active stuff because it takes away the reason these guys are fighting, but social media rules the world anymore.

Post match Orton gets double teamed but Lawler makes the save. The four brawl as we head to a break, leading to…..

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk

Back with Ziggler pounding on Orton in the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for two. Orton comes back with the slingshot suplex and brings in Lawler for a pair of middle rope fists for two. Ziggler dropkicks Jerry down as Punk looks bored out of his mind on the apron. It’s intentional boredom though so at least he’s doing his job properly. Ziggler drops some elbows on Lawler and hooks a chinlock as Punk still hasn’t been in yet. Lawler suplexes out of the hold and it’s hot tag Orton.

He cleans house but the Elevated DDT is countered and Orton is sent to the floor. Here’s Heyman for a chat with Punk but Vickie starts shouting at them. Punk ignores them and keeps talking to Heyman. Heyman hands Punk the title as Ziggler is pounding on Orton in the ring. For no apparent reason Cole has stopped talking.

A Fameasser is countered (we’re watching Punk and Heyman so the match is being seen in the background) but the RKO doesn’t hit. A rollup gets two for Ziggler but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 7:10 shown. Punk was never in the match and walks away with Heyman without caring at all.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was more about an angle than a match which is fine in this case. Heyman was the talk of the internet this past week so him coming out here was what everyone was waiting on. This was definitely different which is what Raw has been needing for awhile now.

Punk and Heyman are walking in the back but we still can’t hear what they say. Matt Striker asks them what their relationship is and Punk says he’s a Paul Heyman guy.

We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.

Bryan and Kane meet in the back but they aren’t sure who sent both of them messages to meet here. Someone set the meeting up and Kane is mad to see him. It’s the doctor who wants to run a checkup. AJ asked the doctor here apparently because they have to trust each other before everything falls apart for them.

Heath Slater wants to face Ryder again after losing last week. Ryder pops up on screen and says he’s not facing Slater. Here’s the real opponent.

Heath Slater vs. Ryback

Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.

The Prime Time Players have whistles now and come in to see AJ. They aren’t the #1 contenders now because they have to beat Kane and Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players

Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.

There’s a chinlock which doesn’t last long and it’s back to Young. Something is going on at the announce table and the people are all looking at it. The word on the street is that something is very wrong with Lawler and it may be something along the lines of a legit seizure. That’s scary stuff man.

They trade uppercuts before Bryan gets caught in another chinlock. Bryan suplexes Young down but he won’t tag. Bryan misses a Swan Dive and it’s chinlock #3 in the match. Another suplex gets Bryan out of trouble but he still won’t tag. After kicking the tar out of Young, Bryan gets too close to the corner and Kane tags himself in. He cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Young but Titus breaks up the chokeslam. After disposing of Titus, Bryan tags himself back, only to get chokeslammed onto Young, sending the anger management buddies to Night of Champions at 8:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull but this was absolutely the right move. These two had gotten way too much momentum to not do anything on the PPV and it’s not like the Players can’t get put back in later. Not a good match, but it’s 100% the right move to make. Hopefully they win the titles and bring something fun to them again.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd comes out second which is surprising. Tyson almost immediately takes Del Rio down but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Del Rio hammers away but gets caught in a quick Sharpshooter. He gets the rope on the second try and almost immediately the armbreaker gets the tap out at 2:50.

Del Rio says he’ll win the title.

Cole says Lawler passed out at the announce table. They’re performing CPR and Cole is adamant that this isn’t part of the show. This is real based on everything I can find.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Cole isn’t saying anything still. Otunga jumps him to start and I don’t think we’re going to have commentary for awhile. Cole can be seen at the desk with his head on his hand watching the match but he isn’t saying anything. Otunga gets in an early shot but Sheamus pounds him down and the Cloverleaf gets the tap out at 1:28.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick post match. This brings out AJ who says….nothing because Booker interrupts her. Booker is conducting an internal investigation and if Sheamus uses the kick before it’s over, he’s stripped of the title.

This is very eerie right now as the show is basically operating like a house show because we’re not sure what’s happening with Lawler. This is legit scary.

Back from a break and Cole still isn’t saying anything. We get a clip from the tag match which I think is after Lawler collapsed. Yeah it’s the ending of the match with Kane chokeslamming Bryan.

The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.

Kane and Bryan are with the doctor and are still arguing. The doctor says they passed a trial. Bryan didn’t appreciate the chokeslam but they won and that’s what matters. An argument breaks out out over whose name comes first in the team name. The doctor suggests Team Friendship, drawing a collective NO.

We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.

Cole is back on screen and says Lawler passed out and was stretchered to the back. Lawler has been taken to a hospital in Montreal. He’s receiving oxygen but is breathing on his own. There won’t be any further commentary tonight. That might be the best idea. In advance, I want to apologize if the last part of the review is off. I’m not going to be able to focus that well and I apologize in advance. This is scary stuff and when you see it happen live, it’s hard to take in all at once.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

The lack of commentary is eerie. Cody drops down twice early, getting hit once and hitting Rey once. Cody hits the release godrbuster but Cross Rhodes is broken up. They go back and forth for a bit with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog and taking out an interfering Miz before the 619 can hit. Miz’s distraction lets Cross Rhodes get the pin at about 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and when you consider how messed up these guys might be, that’s pretty impressive stuff. They have to get people’s minds off what they just saw and that’s not easy no matter what you do. The match was just a match for the most part and I guess they were trying to set up something for Sunday, which they had to do.

Post match Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Miz for no apparent reason. He holds up the title and I think that’s a challenge for Sunday which would be heel vs. heel.

Post break Cole tells us a bit more about what happened to Lawler earlier. Lawler was breathing on his own and now he’s more responsive than he was earlier. He’s reacting to lights being put in his eyes and is in the isolated ER, awaiting a CAT scan.

Here’s Hart for the closing segment. He brings out Cena and says that he sees a lot of himself and Shawn Michaels in Cena and Punk. Cena talks about how he’s nowhere near those two and he thanks Bret for the compliment. Punk isn’t like Shawn because Punk isn’t always himself. Hart wants to know what Cena is going to do to shut Punk up.

Cue the champ who is annoyed at the lack of respect. Cena calls Punk out and asks for a fight but Punk says Cena is the biggest phony in the company. Punk talks about how the two in the ring have been surpassed by people better than themselves, those people being Punk himself and Shawn Michaels. Punk says that comparison doesn’t work though because he’s better than Shawn. He’s better than Austin and Rock too. Punk says he’s the best at everything and his eyes are bugging out. Cena says Punk is right but that makes Punk a liar and a scumbag.

Cena talks about how Punk has spent a year watching PPVs go by and thinking that everyone is against him. Punk said everything on the mic and then became champion in Chicago, which made the fans believe change was coming. Then it became clear that Punk didn’t want ice cream bars or new talent or anything else. He wanted to be a star and that’s it. Cena mentions a line Punk said about becoming what he hated the most and that’s true. On the other hand there’s Punk who has no idea who he is.

Punk steals colors from Hall of Famers and stole the elbow from the late Randy Savage. CM has changed his identity over and over again over the years and right now it’s based around being champion. Cena stops to thank the fans for a bit and starts speaking French, drawing perhaps the loudest face pop he’s gotten in years. Punk yells at Cena for sucking up to the crowd and it’s time to get in each others’ faces. Cena says he’ll beat Punk up on Sunday so Punk pulls back to hit Bret, only to be stopped by Cena. Cena takes the shirt off and Punk goes for Bret again, only to get punched down and out to the floor to end the show.

Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own. He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight. LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than last week but obviously that’s not what matters here, nor is the show on Sunday. Lawler is the important thing here and the updates coming in about him are at least somewhat positive. The last half hour of the show gets a total pass as you can’t blame the guys for their performance, nor is it important. The show built the PPV well enough, even though that’s not important right now.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro

Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox

Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Prime Time Players – Bryan pinned O’Neal after a chokeslam from Kane

Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results beforehand. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.

Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.

The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.

Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.

Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.

Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.

Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.

Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.

Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.

Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.

The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.

Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?

Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.

Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.

Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!

Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.

Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?

Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.

Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.

Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.

Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.

Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.

Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.

Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!

Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.

Jack Swagger vs. Edge

Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.

When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.

Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.

Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.

Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.

Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.

We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.

Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.

Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.

FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.

Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.

Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.

Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.

Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.

Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.

Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

Overall Rating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.

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Smackdown
Date: August 31, 2012
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s huge mess, hopefully Smackdown can turn things around tonight. Last week was one of the worst shows I can remember in a long time, which is a shame as I used to love Smackdown. Anyway, we’re getting very close to Night of Champions now and unfortunately, Del Rio hasn’t been hit by a bus or anything like that to keep us from having to sit through another title shot for him. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine at the moment is Del Rio vs. Sheamus. I can’t stand this feud and about 80% of that is on Del Rio.

Orton vs. Ziggler later. Gee I wonder how that’s going to end.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show. First up, he needs to praise HHH. Sheamus isn’t sure what HHH’s future holds but he has Sheamus’ respect. HHH is the embodiment of a champion, which is everything Del Rio isn’t. This brings out Damien Sandow of all people. He talks about how Sheamus is as ignorant as he is enormous because of his praise of HHH.

He goes on about Sheamus and HHH promotes a stereotype to the WWE Universe but Sheamus cuts him off. The champ doesn’t want to hear Sandow yap for twenty minutes so why not come into the ring right now and have a fight. Sandow says Sheamus isn’t worth his time but here’s Booker with a dissenting opinion. He makes Sandow vs. Sheamus for later, which is already more exciting than anything else from last week.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody talks about how Rey is just like Sin Cara, hiding behind a mask. Rhodes uses his power advantage to start but he ducks his head, letting Rey get in a kick to the face. Cody sends him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody hitting a spinning suplex for two. A release gordbuster gets two followed by some knees to the back and a chinlock.

Cody goes for the mask but gets sent face first into the buckle. Rey speeds things up and hits a seated senton followed by a big kick to the head for two. A knee to Rey’s head gets two but Mysterio kicks Cody into 619 position. Cody catches Rey’s legs but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for the pin at 5:31 shown of 9:01.

Rating: C. This was fine. It’s nice to see Cody having an actual story on Smackdown instead of doing nothing on Superstars every other week. I didn’t catch anything being mentioned about Rey and Cody’s history, although at least we’re hearing about how Cody used to be obsessed with his looks to give a reason to the Sin Cara feud.

Cody beats up Rey post match until Cara makes the save and puts a Sin Cara mask on Cody.

We get the first anger management segment from Monday.

Kaitlyn vs. Natalya

Eve is on commentary. Nattie takes her down with a headlock to start and the place is eerily quiet. Kaitlyn shoulder blocks her down and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn gets her head slammed into the floor. Natalya hooks an abdominal stretch and slaps Kaitlyn’s side which has to hurt bad. Kaitlyn comes back with some armdrags but Natalya clotheslines her down. The Canadian runs her mouth and gets small packaged for the pin at 2:45. Getting extra time is helping the Divas a tiny bit but this was more about Eve, who spent the whole match being the corporate suckup, which does nothing for me at all.

Booker is worried about the pressure of being Raw GM is getting to AJ. He says the match between Jericho and Ziggler never should have been made. Vickie comes up and says this is more proof that AJ needs to go. Sweet Christmas enough with the power struggle storylines already.

Raw ReBound talks about Punk/Lawler/Cena from Monday.

Anger management segment #2.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow is taken into the ropes to start and requests that the referee does his job. Sandow tries to take it into the corner but Sheamus grabs his beard. To avoid getting punched in the face, Damien drops to the floor and things slow down again. The champ starts running him over with shoulders and Sandow heads to the floor again. This time Sheamus is tired of waiting so he goes out after Damien, only to have his knees sent into the steps by Sandow.

That gets an eight count and Sandow stomps away back inside. Off to a chinlock which Sheamus breaks pretty quickly. A regular neckbreaker (as opposed to the double arm version) gets two for Sandow and it’s back to the chinlock. This one is broken even faster and Sheamus starts his hard hitting offense.

Damien bails to the floor for the third time but Sheamus throws him right back in and hits the ten forearms. A slingshot shoulder block to the back gets two and Damien heads to the floor for I think the fourth time. White Noise is escaped and the Brogue Kick is ducked. Sandow rolls to the floor and sprints up the ramp for the countout at 6:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t a great match, but it was a logical one. The idea of Sandow not being able to hang in a fight with Sheamus makes perfect sense and having him constantly trying to run and clear his head was a nice touch. This is exactly what Sandow needs: to be able to rub elbows with bigger names. He didn’t need to win here and certainly shouldn’t have, but having him in there is a good step in the right direction.

Prime Time Players vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd

Kidd and Gabriel have matching yellow shirts which look like dresses on them. Kidd and Titus get things going as the Usos Tout about how they should be #1 contenders. Off to Young vs. Gabriel after the starters do nothing of note. Justin takes Young to the mat after making a blind tag, allowing Kidd to kick Darren in the face.

Off to Titus who powers Tyson down and brings Darren back in. The Players are very good about tagging in and out quickly. Tyson sends Young into the corner and tags out to Justin. An STO puts Darren down and Justin loads up the 450, only for Titus to distract him. Darren crotches Gabriel and hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin at 3:13. This one looked better as he launched Gabriel into the air and Justin was in free fall when he hit the knees.

Rating: C. I know I’ve used that rating a lot tonight but this was exactly what the rating implies: it was ok and right in the middle. I do like that the guys in the tag division are actually getting a little time every week. If nothing else it lets a lot more guys get on TV as opposed to showing up every other PPV and have a title defense that means nothing. These matches don’t exactly equal the Harts vs. the Bulldogs but they’re an improvement over what we’ve been getting the last few years.

The final anger management segment airs. Kane’s explanation of his history is still hilarious.

Here’s Del Rio with something to say. Alberto brags about beating Orton last week but doesn’t care to be reminded that Sheamus has beaten him every time. Del Rio threatens Josh but here’s Kane for protection I guess. Kane says he’s here to apologize for attacking Josh at Summerslam. Teddy comes out and makes Kane vs. Alberto.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kane

This is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we missed much. Kane pounds on Del Rio in the corner but Alberto comes back with some kicks to the legs. Kane comes back with a low dropkick to the head for two and an uppercut that sends Del Rio to the apron. Del Rio rams Kane’s arm into the buckle and follows it up with a kick to the shoulder. Kane will have none of that and hits a sidewalk slam to set up the top rope clothesline for no cover. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Ricardo pulls Kane’s leg. The distraction lets Del Rio hit a Backstabber for the pin at 2:46.

Post match Kane snaps and chokeslams Josh, but he apologizes while he does it.

HHH video from Raw.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler dropkicks Randy down to start and struts a bit. Dolph shows off a bit so Randy dropkicks him down as well in a nice touch. A slingshot suplex gets two on Dolph but Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker and some elbow drops. Orton wins a slugout and fires off his clotheslines. The powerslam sets up the elevated DDT but Ziggler counters. Ziggler doesn’t get back inside though and Orton pulls him to the top rope for a superplex.

That only gets two and Ziggler comes back with a jumping DDT for another near fall. The crowd is starting to get into this. Dolph charges at Randy but gets caught in the Elevated DDT for another two. Orton was laughing while he hit that which was kind of a nice touch. They head to the floor with Ziggler being thrown over the announce table. Back inside and Ziggler misses the Zig Zag, allowing the RKO to pin him at 7:10.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced main event style match, but man alive did they have to have Ziggler lose AGAIN? Orton is leaving for a few months to film whatever the next WWE movie is. Ziggler is indeed Mr. MITB and probably will win the title before the year is over, but as always in WWE, the idea seems to be to have him lose time after time so he can surprise everyone and win it all back at once. You know, because no heel can look strong in WWE and they all have to be cowards that steal every win they get.

Vickie immediately announces that Dolph is still Mr. MITB and says he did a good job. Yes, make sure you hammer in that the guy who is going to get a title match is such a loser.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great show at all but man alive was it better than last week. It’s amazing how much better things are when you don’t have Alberto and Sheamus interacting. Seeing Sandow getting a match against the champ, even when he was mostly dominated and lost, was a good sign that there are big things in his future. This show toned down the stupid stuff and they got a better show out of it.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Sunset Flip

Kaitlyn b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow via countout

Prime Time Players b. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd – Fireman’s carry gutbuster to Gabriel

Alberto Del Rio b. Kane – Backstabber

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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