Over The Limit 2012
Date: May 20, 2012
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I’m going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I’m not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let’s get to it.

Apparently there’s been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That’ll help a lot.

Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he’s not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.

Back in and Ryder pounds away but it’s short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn’t last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane’s throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C+. No complaints here but again, WHERE WAS THIS RYDER IN JANUARY??? That’s my big issue with Ryder’s destruction by Kane back then: he didn’t even fight. They spent a month and a half building him as this newly confident guy and then he turned into a coward that would rather change a tire than USE THE WRENCH HE WAS HOLDING to fight Kane. Ryder went straight at Kane here and lost, which would have annoyed me back then but I could have lived with it. The match was fine.

Battle Royal

The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.

This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.

Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he’s not hurt it’ll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I’m sorry for all of the “so and so is out” but there’s not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.

Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O’Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let’s say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.

Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It’s Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian’s shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.

Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.

Rating: C. This was a better battle royal than I’m used to. Christian returning and winning was a nice surprise as he seems to have turned face again. I like him better in that role so seeing him getting a push as a good guy should be a nice change of pace. Fun match here which was a nice surprise.

Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.

Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.

Vickie suggests she’ll be the new GM if Ace loses.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.

There’s a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D. I usually don’t like Divas matches but this one was especially boring. The Kharma chants just kept reminding me that they’re keeping the belt warm for her. Layla and Beth are both good looking, but for the life of me I have no desire to watch them have a wrestling match. The ending was better than the rest of the match.

We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he’ll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

I’ve been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn’t they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it’s rematch time.

Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus’ arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it’s time to fight.

Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it’s Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he’s been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.

Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio’s head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.

Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.

Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.

Rating: A. That’s probably high but I really dug this. It was the match I’ve been looking forward to the most all night and it certainly didn’t disappoint. Those finisher parades were great and I was really wondering who was going to get the win, which is the best thing a match can do. Thank goodness they went with this instead of Sheamus vs. Del Rio. I really liked this.

Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That’s an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.

Here’s Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he’s a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

This isn’t a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Brodus match. The problem with him at the end of the day is there’s really nothing you can do with him at this stage. He’s squashing bigger names now and the dancing with kids (going on right now) is a nice touch, but they need to give him some adversity or something at all to do so he can move up without things looking silly.

Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.

Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it’s because he’s better than everyone else. Tonight he’ll prove that he’s better than Christian. I’m liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he’s setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.

Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty dull but I’m very pleased with this change. Cody being depushed like he was made the title look horrible and getting it off Rhodes was the best thing they could do. Christian is a steady hand and you know you’re going to get passable matches out of him at worst. Also having him as a face is a plus to me. Boring match, good result.

We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he’s known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won’t just be a five star classic, but it’ll be…..and here’s AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can’t TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.

Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.

Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We’re in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There’s a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk’s legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That’s some nice storytelling as they’ve mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.

Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.

Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.

With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn’t let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk’s rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk’s head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.

With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We’re at almost twenty minutes now and they’re showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.

Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there’s your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.

Rating: A. Yep it was great. This whole show has been great but unfortunately these two are going to get blamed when the show tanks because no one wants to see Ace in the ring because no one cares about him. Anyway, the match was great and I have no complaints about it at all. The crowd reaction was great too, which is something you don’t get anymore in WWE so that’s a good sign too.

Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It’s not even close.

Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He’s happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.

Camacho vs. Ryback

Lillian says that it’s Hunico but it’s Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.

We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he’s corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he’s fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?

John Cena vs. John Laurinatis

We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, “one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes.” For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it’s Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole’s chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he’ll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena’s imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.

Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he’s about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he’s fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he’s going to do it again. Cena isn’t cranking on it at all.

John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace’s pants. Now it’s time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It’s been hot around here so that doesn’t sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.

Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he’s trying. A few shots to the back get two.

Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace’s legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace’s face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn’t sure what to do.

And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.

Rating: C. The match was a comedy match until the end. I’ll go with a rating in the middle because I enjoyed the big beating but when you know the ending, it’s like watching a movie for the second time. Everyone who has watched more than five minutes of wrestling could tell you what was going to happen there and it’s nothing most people seem interested in from what I’ve read.

Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!

Overall Rating: B+. You know I was LOVING this show before the ending. There were two great matches here, but the ending is the same stuff that has made ratings fall week after week but this is what has been chosen and that’s what we’re going to get. It’ll be Cena vs. Show over the summer and Lesnar vs. lawyers or whatever and Punk/Bryan/Sheamus will be blamed when people stop watching because their 10 minutes a week are the problem, not the 30 minutes the other stuff gets. Great show with a bad ending though.

Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix – Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton – White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes – Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho – MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena – Pin after WMD from Big Show

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: May 18, 2012
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn’t mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they’re waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we’ll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there’s a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it’s Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can’t do that.

In the arena here’s Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board’s decision because it puts him in harm’s way. Ace says that he’s almost 40 but he’s still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won’t reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.

Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It’s not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it’s not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it’ll go on through Smackdown next week.

The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it’s not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he’s going to face Kane like a man. Next week he’ll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let’s see. Punk talked to a guy he’s not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn’t mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.

Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he’s the GM, he’s been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He’s not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it’s the fans’ fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.

Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you’re a Connecticut registered voter.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus’ distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it’s off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O’Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.

Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O’Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That’s a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O’Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O’Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They’re saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that’s why there’s no division.

Don’t Be A Bully! How long before it’s time to STAND UP for WWE?

Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that’s that apparently.

Video on Ryback. He’s 1/3 of the “they’re monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we’ll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him” trio with Tensai and Clay.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow won’t fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn’t a match.

We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he’s looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he’s not champion anymore. Orton says he’s no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.

Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan

Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT’S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I’m in too much shock to care.

Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk’s ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There’s a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn’t work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.

Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it’s chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but the main thing that hurt it was the slow pace of it. They were going by the numbers here but the ending helped it a bit. If a rib injury for Bryan to focus on is the best angle we can get to set up the match then we’ll have to go with it. I mean, WWE isn’t going to bother letting them cut promos on each other or anything so I’ll take what I can get.

Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don’t know who’s losing here, I can’t help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here’s the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?

Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here’s Ace’s promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.

Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

There’s a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.

A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus’ are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That’s Sheamus’ bad shoulder so there’s some psychology thrown in there.

Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.

Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.

Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this at the end and the finishing sequence was very nicely done. They were setting up this as the match with both guys hitting everything they could other than their big move and then they threw a nicely timed curve ball with Sheamus winning with a rollup. The ending is also good as neither guy looks weak here at all and it keeps the main event on Sunday wide open.

Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That’s a pretty heelish move.

Overall Rating: D+. Until the good main event, this was on pace to be one of the worst Smackdowns that I can remember in years. The last quarter of it being good prevented that, but there are still major holes in this show. First of all, where were Jericho and Del Rio? They’re in this show’s main event and they’re not even on the broadcast for a promo? Second, Punk and Bryan is the most thrown out there main event in a LONG time. Even Bryan vs. Sheamus had a better build than this. Disappointing show, but a good main event helps it a lot.

Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young – Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder – YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes – Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Rollup

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 14, 2012
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Sunday’s Over The Limit so hopefully we’ll get some Cena tonight to sell the show. That being said, the guy is going through a divorce so I think you have to cut him some slack on how effective he’s going to be out there. We also have Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for Sunday so expect a lot of staring at each other tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH walking through the back. He runs into Ace who says he had nothing to do with Lesnar attacking him. HHH says he’ll respond in front of the world.

Theme song.

Here’s HHH but before he talks we get the video from Raw two weeks ago for the 100th time. HHH says everyone wants to know his thoughts on Lesnar. It’s not the physical part of it because he’s had worse done to him. It’s Lesnar saying that he has to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. A few weeks before that, HHH was going toe to toe with Undertaker in the most watched Wrestlemania of all time.

Lesnar’s arrogance offends all of the greats in WWE history and it offends HHH as a fans. Two weeks ago he was slightly embarrassed because of Lesnar always bailing when he got challenged. HHH saw the potential in Brock back in 2002, but Brock quit in 2004 after someone challenged him, then he quit UFC when he had to fight and now he came back here and went after Cena, who beat him as well.

Cue Heyman and a lawyer. Heyman says that HHH has blown this and that it’s an open and shut case. Lesnar had an agreement with Ace but HHH ripped it up. The lawyer serves HHH with a lawsuit for millions of dollars and Heyman runs his mouth some more. HHH grabs Heyman by the face and says Lesnar will get what he deserves. The Game leaves but Heyman says he’s suing HHH for assault and battery.

We get a recap of Show making fun of Ace last week. He gets Kane tonight as a result.

CM Punk/Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes

Insert Pretender reference here. Punk and Rhodes start things off with Punk taking control. He sends Cody to the floor and Bryan out on top of him. There’s a suicide dive but Santino can’t quite bring himself to do one of his own as we take a break. After an ad for a Raw house show in my town in July, we come back with Rhodes beating up Santino. Off to Bryan who drops a bunch of knees for two.

Bryan throws on an armbar and the beating continues. In a funny bit, Santino dives for the tag but misses. Rhodes laughs but gets shoved off, allowing Santino to make the real tag. Bulldog puts Rhodes down but the GTS is avoided. High Kick puts Rhodes down but Bryan avoids one of his own. He heads to the floor and Cody walks into the GTS for the pin at 9:55.

Rating: C-. Everyone here knew that Cody was taking the fall here right? I want to make sure I’ve at least taught you that much. Other than that, the match was just ok. Santino being in there didn’t make a ton of sense but Big Show was busy tonight. I’d have liked more between Bryan and Punk but we had a champion to pin so it was out of the question.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

So Fox is face on here and heel on NXT. Got it. The crowd just goes silent when the bell rings. Layla comes out to watch. Gorilla press and Glam Slam, 1:16.

Alicia is about to get beaten up again but Layla makes the save.

Video on Cena’s Make-A-Wish work which is cool.

We see the Ace/Show segment again for some reason.

Ryder vs. Kane is the pre-show match for Sunday.

We get ANOTHER clip from last week with Ace saying that it might be Show’s last match in WWE.

Ace and Otunga come out and we take a break, meaning in this TV segment we announced a pre-show match and saw a clip.

Kane vs. Big Show

Show takes it to the mat which gets us nowhere. Kane fires off shoulders in the corner but gets thrown away with ease. The masked man hits a cross body of all things and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with clotheslines and a slam to set up the Vader Bomb Elbow. Not that it matters as Kane moves and goes up top. He jumps into a chokeslam attempt but escapes that too. We head to the floor and Kane gets whipped into the barricade and speared. They get back in and Ace wants an apology right now. That allows Kane to use a choke takedown (looked awful) for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: F. It was awful, it was slow, the ending SUCKED. What more do you want from me here?

Ace says Show has to apologize or he’s fired. Show says he’s accomplished everything and he can walk away. But he still loves what he does and he doesn’t want to be fired. If it means being fined or never getting a title match again, then so be it but don’t take away what he loves. If the imitation offended Ace, then he’s sorry.

Ace said Show didn’t apologize so Show says it again. Ace wants Show to beg for his job on his knees. Show can’t bring himself to do it and begs from his feet. Ace says he won’t fire him for the sake of business. He leaves but then changes his mind. Show says wait and gets on his knees and apologizes. Ace fires him anyway. Ok the smile on his face helps a bit.

And now for something completely different.

Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. The Miz/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger start things off and it’s off to Clay very quickly. He throws all three heels down as the champions knock Miz to the floor. We take a break and come back with Truth in a Ziggler chinlock. AW Enterprises (with the possibly now signed Mason Ryan) are watching from a sky box. Miz comes in and gets caught in a neckbreaker. Tag to Kofi who speeds things up as he is known to do. SOS gets two and everything breaks down. Ziggler jumps into a headbutt from Brodus, Kofi gets a GREAT sounding Trouble in Paradise on Miz and the Splash ends Miz at 6:58. Most of that was in a commercial so no rating but this was fine.

Punk is with Alex Riley of all people when AJ comes up. Riley leaves (Punk: “Hey, remember that $50 you owe me!”) and AJ wishes Punk luck on Sunday. He doesn’t want anything to do with the drama that comes with AJ and Bryan. Punk is worried about a setup because AJ is so unstable so he walks away. AJ looks….sad?

Sheamus comes down for commentary for the next match.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and Orton dropkicks him to the floor as we take a break. These breaks during a match are REALLY getting annoying and have been for years. Back with Jericho holding a chinlock. He takes Orton into the corner and hits a missile dropkick for two. Off to a surfboard hold but Orton escapes. Backbreaker puts Jericho down but the elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop. Jericho throws Orton into Sheamus but back in Orton loads up the DDT again. Sheamus pulls him to the floor and clotheslines him down for the DQ win for Jericho at 8:40.

Rating: C-. That’s the ending everyone knew was coming and that’s perfectly fine. I’m actually very glad that no one has gotten a clean win over anyone else in this match since the fourway was announced. That’s a big problem they’ve had recently with multi-man matches: someone is always made to look weak beforehand but in this case, that hasn’t happened at all. I think I’m looking forward to this match more than anything else on Sunday.

Orton gets in Sheamus’ face and challenges him to a fight right now which Sheamus is more than happy to accept. Referees break it up.

Post break Orton vs. Sheamus is announced for Friday.

Here’s Ace to push himself vs. Cena tonight. He talks about how everyone that loves Cena is a bad person because their favorite wrestler reflects themselves. Here’s Cena who makes fun of Ace’s voice and runs him down for firing Show. Ace has the gall to call himself a winner so we hear Ace’s resume. His team won at Wrestlemania…..and that’s about it. Punk is still champion and then Lesnar lost and left. That makes him 1-4 and that makes him a loser.

That’s fine because at Over The Limit, Ace is going to lose again. Ace has managed to step on everyone during his tenure on top. Tonight he’s stepped on everyone in the WWE Universe tonight in the name of people power. Instead it should be person power because that’s all that matters to Ace. Cena has a show of hands to see how many people want to punch Ace into the middle of next week. Next question: how many people want to beat up Ace so bad that he squeals like a baby calf? That gets a BIG reaction.

Cena says the reaction is appropriate in Pittsburgh for a few reason. First up is the Steel Curtain (The Steelers’ defense from the 70s) which is famous for destroying people, which is what Cena is going to do to Ace on Sunday. The other reason is the Pittsburgh Penguins. Ace says that he was going to use the Penguins later in the promo but Cena stole it. Ace tries to talk but Cena keeps calling him a loser. The boss calls the Penguins losers so Cena pulls out a hockey puck and says go puck yourself.

Ace says that he’s taller and better looking than Cena which must bother him. Cue Eve with a paper as he’s talking. She has something to tell him but he won’t listen to her. Finally she gets his attention and hands him the paper which he stops to read. Cena steals it from him (ripping it in half in the process) and says it’s from the board of directors. The match will be one on one with no special referee and no one allowed at ringside. You have to win by pin or submission and anyone who interferes is immediately fired. Oh and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Cena’s music plays but he stops it because Cole mentioned a major announce

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty easily the worst Raw in months and probably the worst this year. With two WAY too long segments that end in some legal or administrative decision, it was a hard show to sit through for the first hour. The lack of Cena until the very end didn’t help things either. I’m looking forward to the fourway on Sunday and Punk vs. Bryan (which got almost zero setup tonight) but other than that it’s a filler show. Terrible Raw tonight.

Results
CM Punk/Santino Marella b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes – GTS to Rhodes
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Kane b. Big Show – Chokeslam
Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/The Miz – Splash to Miz
Chris Jericho b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered

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Smackdown
Date: May 11, 2012
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’ve got two shows before Over the Limit and after Raw we have a fatal fourway main event instead of just Sheamus vs. Del Rio which should be a big upgrade over the singles match. Other than that we have very little set up for the PPV on the blue side. The show is going to be a filler show so it doesn’t really need to be that set up. I’m sure we’ll get Show vs. Rhodes again too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the Raw tag match and the post match brawl/announcement in the back.

Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho

No car for Del Rio this time. Orton and Jericho get things going. Randy takes him down with a shoulder block and slaps Sheamus on the shoulder to tag him in. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho down and brings Randy back in with a hearty slap on the arm. Off to Del Rio who gets taken down but the knee drop misses. Alberto goes for the arm and drops some knees on it.

Randy gets in a boot as the announcers say there’s no point in trying to predict the fourway. Tag to Sheamus who hits the Regal Roll for two. Jericho low bridges Sheamus to send him to the floor and gets in a shot to the injured shoulder. Jericho comes in legally and puts on a modified Fujiwara armbar.

To give you an idea of the commentary I have to listen to here, this exchange happens: Josh: “I know you can’t predict a winner in the fatal fourway but will Sheamus retain?” Michael: “I don’t think so because it’s almost mathematically impossible. He only has a 25% chance.” After that butchering of both logic and math, Sheamus hits Jericho with the ax handle and tags in Orton. RKO is countered but a dropkick gets two for Orton. Everything breaks down and the referee calls for the bell after about four seconds for the double DQ at 5:19.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t really a match but rather just a backdrop for the double DQ ending. That’s probably a good thing too as there’s no need to have anyone look better or weaker before the PPV. It was just a basic main event style tag match until then and at least we didn’t have to wait long before it got thrown out.

Post break we’re told that it’s Del Rio vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Jericho later.

AJ vs. Kaitlyn

AJ takes her down immediately and then does it again. She dropkicks the knee and hits a running knee to the head for the pin at 35 seconds.

Post match AJ goes after Kaitlyn again but here’s Daniel Bryan. He says he’s impressed by her ruthlessness and AJ looks like a little lost puppy. Bryan sees her in a new light and is willing to move past all the angst they’ve had. After he becomes WWE Champion at Over the Limit he’s looking forward to moving on. AJ looks at him and Bryan nods, but Bryan says he’s looking forward to moving on to Kaitlyn. AJ looks completely psychotic and leaves.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Show corners him and chops the chest. Bryan goes for the knee but it doesn’t do much good. Show chops him again but Bryan manages to take him down with a middle rope dropkick. He hooks the YES Lock….and there’s the bell at 1:28. Ace pops up at the timekeeper’s table and says Bryan wins by submission.

Ace makes Show apologize again and Show is humiliated again. Ace says that on Monday Show better give him a real apology. Way to emasculate the good guys WWE! As Ace is leaving he says that at Extreme Rules, Lesnar destroyed Cena and revolutionized the WWE. In nine nights, he’s going to beat Cena and shake the WWE to its foundation.

Heath Slater is in the ring and says that his opponent looks like a caveman with a pea sized brain. The guy he’s facing tonight hasn’t beaten anyone like the One Man Southern Rock Band. Again, WHAT DOES THAT NAME MEAN???

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Slater actually gets in some offense but before I can make an NXT joke, it’s powerslam, clothesline and MuscleBuster at 1:15 for Ryback’s latest win.

Teddy Long is guest ring announcer for the next match.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alex Riley

Teddy has to run off a long list of names for Cesaro such as the Swiss Sensation, His Opponent’s Plight and Aksana’s Delight. Cesaro hits a big boot in the corner and a gutwrench suplex. Riley gets in some jobber offense but the spinebuster is broken up. The European Uppercut sets up that Gotch whatever move for the pin at 2:23.

Post match Aksana reminds Teddy they were just friends but Cesaro is her lover. They kiss and Teddy wants to cry.

Video on Cena’s work with Make-A-Wish, which he wrote an article for USA Today about. Love him or hate him, that’s awesome stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

The entrances are cut for some reason. Del Rio controls to start but Orton comes back and hits the slingshot into the bottom rope for two. Alberto drapes the arm over the top rope to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two and it’s off to an armbar. Orton gets up and powerslams Alberto but the elevated DDT is countered. He sends Orton to the apron and hits an enziguri for two.

Orton comes back again with the backbreaker but Del Rio kicks him in the arm. Codebreaker to the arm puts Orton down and he loads up the armbreaker, but Orton kicks him off. Elevated DDT from the top rope hits but Ricardo is on the top rope. He jumps right into an RKO which is good for the DQ at 5:22.

Rating: C. I liked this. The story of Orton using his usual stuff to counteract all of the arm work was working for me and even though there was no way Orton would ever tap to the hold, it was interesting watching him counter all that stuff. Then again I’m an Orton fan so that probably has a lot to do with it. Also anyone jumping into an RKO is cool to see.

Del Rio puts Orton’s shoulder into the post and hooks the armbreaker post match.

R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

This is due to the tag title match that was set up for the PPV. Truth quickly takes over and hits a dancing legdrop for one. AW and company are watching in the back. Mason Ryan is with them now. Swagger comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two. He hits Truth’s back a few times but Truth comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Swagger tries another wheelbarrow suplex but Truth rolls him up for two. Dolph trips up Truth and gets punched and kicked by the champions. Swagger jumps Truth on the floor but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise. That lets the Little Jimmy get the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Another short match in an annoying series of them tonight. This is your usual formula to set up a tag team title match and I still have yet to find anyone that cares about this match and feud at all. This match was just ok at best but again, with only three and a half minutes to work with, there’s only so much they could do.

We get a piece of the Cena sitdown interview from Monday.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young

Ryder doesn’t even get an entrance anymore. Titus runs Santino over to start and slams him down. Off to Young who hits a neckbreaker and belly to back suplex. Titus suplexes Young onto Santino and it’s off to a Darren chinlock. Santino escapes and tags in Ryder who speeds things up. He hits his usual stuff and the Broski Boot gets two on Darren. Rough Ryder is broken up by Titus and Santino gets clotheslined down while he loads up the Cobra. Young knocks Ryder off the ropes and the Demolition Decapitator (called the Ghetto Blaster) gets the pin at 2:59.

Titus makes Lillian announce the winners again. They say they’ll be the new champions and make millions.

Damien Sandow says he knows his message is going over everyone’s heads but they have no one to look up to. He’ll be the sword of taste and decency, which concludes the interview. You’re welcome.

Brodus Clay vs. Hunico

Hunico and Camacho jump Brodus before the bell. Camacho is thrown out and Brodus starts smiling. There’s the bell and the beating begins. Suplex and splash end this at 54 seconds.

Post match it’s time to dance.

Video on HHH being attacked by Lesnar and Heyman returning to announce Brock quitting on Monday.

Chris Jericho vs. Sheamus

Sheamus takes him into the corner to start and uses the power to control. Jericho misses a charge into the corner and Sheamus knocks him off the apron into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the slingshot shoulder block for two. Out to the apron and Sheamus tries to suplex him to the floor, but Jericho drapes the arm over the top rope to take over.

Sheamus’ arm goes into the post and Jericho puts on an armbar back in the ring. The champ fights up but Jericho dropkicks him down. That gets him nowhere as Sheamus makes his comeback. That gets countered also but the Walls are countered. Irish Curse is broken up as is the Regal Roll. The Walls go on but Sheamus is too close to the ropes. He sends Jericho to the floor where Del Rio pops in and sends Jericho into the steps for the DQ at 5:45 shown of 9:15.

Rating: C. Just like last time this was a pretty decent match for the most part as the two of them had chemistry, but I’d like to talk for a minute about psychology. Sheamus has a bad arm, Jericho worked on the arm all match, and then he tried a back hold. I get that it’s his finisher, but sometimes you need to go with the move that makes sense instead of the finisher.

Post match Del Rio puts Sheamus in the armbreaker but Orton comes out for the save. Del Rio takes all three finishers and Orton stares at Sheamus to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a great job at playing up the fourway with only Del Rio looking weak, which more or less guarantees that he’ll be walking out with the title. The short matches were annoying, but they got TEN matches on one show which has to be way up there on the lists of two hour shows. Not a terrible show but it was more for building up later shows than this one, which is annoying but understandable.

Results
Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho/Alberto Del Rio went to a double DQ
AJ b. Kaitlyn – Running Knee
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show – YES Lock
Ryback b. Heath Slater – MuscleBuster
Antonio Cesaro b. Alex Riley – Gotch Style Neutralizer
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Little Jimmy
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Demolition Decapitator to Ryder
Brodus Clay b. Hunico – Splash
Chris Jericho b. Sheamus via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered

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Smackdown
Date: May 4, 2012
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the first show after Extreme Rules and Sheamus has retained the title against Daniel Bryan. Other than that there isn’t much other than Orton beating Kane in the falls count anywhere match. Sheamus needs a new challenger now and all signs point to it being Del Rio which is nothing that I’m interested in but this is WWE so who cares? Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is whatever lunkhead turned on the lights in the middle of the Avengers.

Here’s Sheamus to open things up. He says he’s doing what he loves to do: fight. He doesn’t care where he is, because he just loves fighting. Bryan almost tore his shoulder off at Extreme Rules so tonight, Bryan can try to finish it. He was asked if he wanted to fight Bryan, and his answer was YES. Sheamus starts a YES chant and here comes Bryan for a gimmick infringement complaint. Sheamus says YES probably 40 times here, which is probably a record.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

This is non-title I think. Sheamus tries for a headlock as Bryan goes for the arm. Bryan takes it to the mat but Sheamus fires off a punch to break that up. A single arm DDT takes Sheamus down as Booker breaks his vow from a few weeks back and calls him D. Bry. Off to an armbar but Sheamus gets up pretty quickly. He comes with the power and starts pounding Bryan down in the corner. A running knee lift sends Bryan to the floor but Ricardo Rodriguez jumps off the top onto Sheamus for the DQ at 2:48. This was an angle rather than a match.

Del Rio comes in with the cross armbreaker and Bryan throws on the YES Lock to leave Sheamus laying. Bryan yells at Del Rio as referees hold back Sheamus.

After a break Sheamus is getting his arm looked at.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Hunico/Camacho

Epico, Primo, AW and Rosa watch from the ramp. AW has officially signed the former champs. Truth and Hunico start things off with Hunico slapping Little Jimmy. Is that child abuse? Off to Kofi who comes in off a springboard clothesline for two. Kofi gets sent to the apron and Hunico gets in a shot to send him outside. Camacho gets in a clothesline on the floor and Hunico adds the hilo for two.

Camacho comes in and gets two off a legdrop. Back to Hunico who comes in with a slingshot dropkick to Kofi who is seated in the corner. A monkey flip by Kofi sets up the hot tag and Truth comes in with the pelvic thrusts. Lie Detector gets two on Camacho and everything breaks down. A rana sends Hunico and Kofi to the floor so the Little Jimmy can get the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D+. Nothing tag match but I guess it set up the idea of Primo/Epico continuing the feud with Kofi/Truth. Wait did I just call that a feud? It means that sometime there’s going to be another tag title match and a probably house show program. Can we just look at Rosa some more instead?

Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger

Brodus hits a quick belly to belly suplex for two and runs Swagger over with ease. Ziggler offers a distraction and Jack hits something like a spear to take over. Ziggler tries something off the steps but runs into the headbutt. Back in the ring the suplex looks to set up the splash but Jack rolls to the floor and takes the countout at 1:43.

More annoying kids get to dance with Brodus post match.

Video on the Cena vs. Lesnar match on Sunday. This transitions into the end of Raw where Ace revealed himself as Cena’s next opponent.

Del Rio and Bryan are arguing in the back and Eve has to break it up. Ace is taking a day off for some reason so she and those great glasses of hers are in charge. Bryan wants to continue his match with Sheamus and she says maybe. Eve throws both of them out.

Damien Sandow vs. Derrick Bateman

Sandow comes out to the Hallelujah Chorus and in a Bob Backlund robe and towel. He’s introduced as the Intellectual Savior of the Masses. Sandow says that he won’t do anything here tonight because it won’t teach the masses anything, so he’s out of here.

Bateman wants the match he earned the right to on NXT. We have a replacement for him.

Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman

Ryback has some pyro now. Booker thinks of Devastation Inc. when he looks at Ryback. There’s a stable I never want to think of again. Big boot, Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder, clothesline, MuscleBuster, 1:11.

Kane/Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton/Big Show

Cody and Randy get us going. Cody goes into the buckle quickly and cowers away from Show. The big bald comes in to crush Cody in the corner and brings back Randy. A knee drop gets two as does a dropkick. Off to Kane for a slugout with Orton and the Viper is in trouble. Kane sends him into the corner and it’s off to Big Show. He comes in with a spear to Kane and takes down Cody as well.

Kane gets a DDT to Big Show and we take a break. Back with Cody stomping on the former champion and then tagging Kane back in. The low dropkick gets two and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with a belly to back suplex and it’s the hot (I guess?) tag to Orton. He powerslams Cody but Kane breaks up the elevated DDT.

Instead it’s the Big Fried Freak taking the DDT and Randy sets up the RKO. Kane shoves him off and Cody low bridges Orton to the floor. Kane follows him out and hits a big boot which gets two. Back to Rhodes for some knee drops and a dropkick for two. Kane comes in again and walks into the backbreaker.

A clothesline breaks up the hot tag and the champ is in again. Cody hooks a quick chinlock and tries Cross Rhodes but Orton shoves him off. There’s the tag to Big Show who cleans house. Kane breaks up the chokeslam with the top rope clothesline but Orton hits an RKO on the masked one. WMD gets the pin on Rhodes at 10:47 shown of 14:17.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill tag match here which didn’t really change anything. The champion gets pinned by the same guy that has beaten him on multiple occasions already so Rhodes looks even weaker. Orton and Kane would seem to be through but they keep at it here again. There might be a match at Over the Limit but Orton has already won two matches against him so I don’t know if I’d get the point.

Post match we’re told that Big Show will get his rematches at live events this weekend. There’s a rarity.

Sheamus is taped up and says he’s fighting tonight.

Layla vs. Natalya

They go to the mat and it’s a standoff. Natalya works on the arm and hits a discus lariat for two. Abdominal stretch goes on but Layla gets a sweet rolling counter for two. Layout ends this quickly at 1:58. Layla is more interesting than most of the other girls but giving her two minutes a night isn’t going to get anyone anywhere.

Antonio Cesaro and Aksana are taking publicity photos in the back under Eve’s supervision. She thinks Antonio needs oil and makes Teddy put it on. Teddy says no but does it eventually.

Alicia and Kaitlyn are standing around doing nothing when AJ comes up. Alicia leaves and AJ asks for Kaitlyn’s forgiveness. Kaitlyn says she felt betrayed and was just trying to be her friend. She tells AJ to stop feeling sorry for herself and earns another slap.

Raw ReBound is about HHH vs. Lesnar.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Del Rio is on commentary. Sheamus’ shoulder is taped up. There sure are a lot of arm injuries floating around this company lately. Sheamus basically has to fight from his right side here. He shoves Bryan down and fires off some elbows in the corner. Bryan comes back with a kick to the shoulder to take control. Sheamus keeps trying to play defense so Bryan keeps going for the arm.

Sheamus manages a tilt-a-whirl slam but the Brogue Kick is ducked and he falls to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan hitting the running knee off the apron. Back inside Bryan ties the arm up in the ropes and kicks Sheamus down to the floor. The shoulder goes into the post and back inside a Swan Dive to the shoulder gets two. The tape is ripped off now and Sheamus is in trouble.

Bryan drives knees into the shoulder and hooks both arms on the mat. The champ tries to fire off some elbows to the head but can’t break through. Bryan goes to send him into the post but Sheamus reverses to send Bryan’s shoulder in and give himself a breather. Here are the forearms to the chest and a suplex back in gets two. Bryan charges into the Irish Curse with the left (the bad) arm for two.

Sheamus goes after Daniel but gets his arm draped over the rope. A missile dropkick gets two and Bryan is frustrated. Sheamus hits the double ax out of nowhere and loads up the Cross but here’s Del Rio for a distraction. He doesn’t interfere though so it isn’t a DQ. Bryan tries to sneak in the YES Lock but Sheamus shoves him into Del Rio. Sheamus sends Alberto to the floor and Bryan goes up. That goes badly though as he dives into the Brogue Kick (most of one at least) for the pin at 9:25 shown of 12:55.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of match than Sunday but it was still good. I don’t get the point in having Bryan get beaten again when you had Del Rio interfering already. Just go with the DQ and set up the next title feud that way instead of taking away some of Bryan’s momentum. Still though, another good match between these two who have good chemistry.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all about transitioning over to Sheamus vs. Del Rio and that worked to a degree. At the same time though, they did it at the expense of Bryan who is going to be getting a world title match at the PPV so that wasn’t the best idea. Other than that though, nothing really happened on this show. Nothing was bad and the tag match was ok, but it’s pretty much a forgettable show other than the main event stuff, which is ok.

Results
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Hunico/Camacho – Little Jimmy to Camacho
Brodus Clay b. Jack Swagger via countout
Ryback b. Derrick Bateman – MuscleBuster
Randy Orton/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Kane – WMD to Rhodes
Layla b. Natalya – Layout
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

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Extreme Rules 2012
Date: April 29, 2012
Location: All State Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another WWE PPV and we’re in Chicago again. It’s a triple main event with Bryan vs. Sheamus 2/3 falls, Punk vs. Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight and Cena vs. Lesnar in an Extreme Rules match, which is clearly different than a Chicago Street Fight because….uh…..oh because one has the word Chicago in it. I’m somewhat excited about this show so let’s get to it.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. The Miz

This is on the pre-show because the US Title doesn’t have any place on a PPV right? Santino is defending. Before the match Miz goes on a rant about how he was in the main event last year and then won the power for Ace at Mania but he’s on the pre-show here. It seems like they’re teasing a tease of face turn for him.

Miz gets sent to the floor quickly and heads back to said floor when Santino loads up the Cobra. Back in Miz stomps him down and hits a kick to the head for two. Some knees to the chest/head get two so it’s time for some chinlockery. The fans are totally behind Santino of course. Low DDT gets two. Miz’s running clothesline hits in the corner and a top rope ax handle gets two. Quick rollup gets two for the champ. Miz quickly takes him down but jumps into a right hand. Santino starts his comeback and here’s the Cobra. Miz charges into the corner, misses, and the Cobra retains at 4:37.

Rating: D+. This was any TV match you could imagine. There was nothing to see here and while it was ok, this really shows how far Miz has fallen. It’s not that he lost to Santino, but rather that no one is really surprised that he did. That’s the much more telling idea to me. Not a horrible match and it’s probably good that this wasn’t on the PPV.

Time for the actual PPV now.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Falls count anywhere. Orton starts fast and goes to the corner but gets caught by an uppercut and knocked to the floor. Kane gets the lead pipe despite this being just falls count anywhere. Orton gets the pipe and gets in a few shots as they go to the floor. Orton pounds on him up against the barricade and they go into the crowd. It’s one of those “I hit you so naturally you stumble forward five steps then I hit you again.”

Kane comes back with some right hands and the low dropkick for two. They go up the stands and then down towards the stage. This has been 90% punches. Orton dropkicks him by the stage for two. They go backstage and into the halls. A bunch of people are watching the show and Ryder jumps Kane, pounding him in the back with forearms. They don’t work but him trying is more than he’s ever done.

Orton saves him with the backbreaker which gets two. They head back down the hall and Kane throws a small table at Orton, clearly not hitting him but Randy is nice enough to go down for two. They head back to the ring and Orton hits the powerslam. Orton gets in some chair shots and they head to the floor. He loads up the announce table but Kane fights out of it. No chokeslam as Orton fires off some elbows to the head, so it’s the elevated DDT on the floor instead. Somehow driving a man’s head into a thin mat over concrete only gets two.

Kane shoves off an RKO attempt to send Orton into the post for two. Back in the ring Kane goes up but Orton manages to pull off his dad’s superplex for two. Orton goes Viper but the RKO is countered again. Chokeslam hits for two and Kane has a small fit. He sets for a tombstone on the chair but gets caught in the RKO onto it for the pin at 16:48.

Rating: B-. It was a good brawl but a lot of it was just them walking back and forth and punching. The in ring stuff was a lot better and the Ryder interference was a nice touch. It’s three months late but it was nice. This should end the feud though, and as long as it doesn’t lead to Mahal vs. Orton I’m cool with that.

Eve and Ace are in the back and liked the first match. They have the Raw Roulette wheel behind them and Eve has Teddy bring in champagne. He has the massive nametag too. Ace gets a call from HHH and has to go. It doesn’t seem to be anything bad.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “smart” fans chant for Ziggler and they go to the floor quickly. Swagger runs over Brodus to put him down and get him in trouble for the first time. Back in Ziggler pounds on him but Brodus comes back with a headbutt. A knee lift misses and the Fameasser gets two. Another dropkick gets one and it’s time for a modified sleeper. Brodus stands up and easily throws Ziggler over. Dolph tries a suplex and is easily thrown off. Brodus gets all fired up and shakes, including a shot to Swagger. Headbutt to the ribs sets up the splash for the clean pin at 4:19.

Rating: C. This is EXACTLY what Brodus needed. He’s squashed jobbers for months now so a real win where he had to fight off some people is a great upgrade for him. Ziggler hammered away on him and certainly didn’t get squashed, which is how you make someone like Clay look great. Good stuff.

We see the wheel being spun for the IC Title match and it’s a tables match. This is somehow Teddy’s fault. Big Show is pleased.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show quickly backdrops him and we go to the floor. He hits the chop up against the barricade and sets up the first table in front of the announce table. Cody tries to get in a few shots but gets thrown around with ease. There’s another table set up in the corner of the ring now.

Show tries to throw him through that one but Cody runs up the table and hits the Disaster Kick in a sweet move. Show knocks him to the floor again and Cody tries for a table. This goes about as well as you would expect and a clothesline puts him down. Show tries to get back in and Cody kicks him down, sending Show feet first through the table for the title at 4:36.

Rating: D. Cody got DESTROYED for four weeks since Wrestlemania, lost to Khali, lost to Big Show, but SWERVE: he wins the title here. This is why the midcard is dead and the titles mean nothing: why should we buy Cody as champion after the beatings he’s taken for the last month? Someone explain this to me.

Show destroys the champ post match because that’s the best way to make Cody look strong Show puts him through two tables. Cody manages to walk to the back because that’s supposed to make it all better I guess.

Bryan explains why he’s better than Sheamus: he gets better chicks, he has a better beard and he doesn’t have five pounds of corned beef in his stomach. Bryan insults the crowd to try to get them to stop cheering him but then does a YES sequence….which gets a NO reaction. AJ is watching but Bryan doesn’t see her.

We recap Bryan vs. Sheamus. It was 18 seconds at Wrestlemania, Bryan snapped and threw out AJ, this is the 2/3 falls rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Two out of three falls. The fans have seemingly forgiven Bryan in the last three minutes. They do big match intros and Sheamus doesn’t get the best reaction. It’s not really hatred but he’s not that well liked. He has an 18 seconds shirt which is a nice touch. Sheamus takes him to the mat quickly but Bryan pops up. Quick Brogue Kick attempt misses and Bryan grabs the arm.

They trade some technical stuff and Sheamus hits the fireman’s carry slam for two. Sheamus hooks a Texas Cloverleaf out of nowhere which is like his fourth finisher but Bryan makes the rope. It wasn’t a half bad one either. Sheamus tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Bryan fires off some shots and they head to the floor, but Bryan’s running knee is caught into a spinebuster into the barricade.

Back inside Sheamus goes up but gets crotched and falls into the ring. Bryan drops a bunch of knees and hooks an armbar. He bends the fingers back and bends the shoulder back in a SCARY looking angle. Sheamus rolls to his back to keep from having his shoulder destroyed and gets back to his feet. Bryan takes him down and hits a low dropkick for two. He chokes on the ropes because HE HAS TIL FIVE!

Bryan stays on the arm but Sheamus knocks him to the apron for the forearms. Sheamus charges into the corner and gets caught in a drop toehold into the buckle and kicked in the face for two. They go to the corner where Bryan’s rana is countered. The top rope shoulder gets two as this is getting good. Sheamus charges at Bryan but goes over the top to the floor. He may have hurt his ankle. Back in the High Cross is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered twice but Sheamus charges into the post shoulder first. Bryan wraps the shoulder around the post and fires off about 15 kicks which is good for a DQ for Sheamus at 14:35. LAME. Bryan seems fine with it though. The second fall begins a few seconds later and Bryan hits a running dropkick in the corner. YES Lock goes on and stays on for a good while. Sheamus starts to lose consciousness and passes out to tie it up at 16:45.

The doctors come in to see if Sheamus can continue and Sheamus says let’s go. The fans are chanting YES/NO through this. Bryan charges into a kick to the face which only gets two because of a delayed cover. Big kick to the side of Sheamus’ head gets two. Bryan goes up but misses his dive. A charge misses and here come the ax handles. Irish Curse puts Bryan down and the Brogue Kick ends this clean at 23:00.

Rating: A-. Yeah this worked. If this was what Sheamus had won the title with at Mania I don’t think anyone would have complained. It’s probably Sheamus’ best match ever and the kind of win he needed. Having him pass out was a nice touch as instead of having him tap and look mortal he kept fighting which is the right move for him. Very good match here and the pickup this show needed.

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

The Jobbers combine to weigh 340lbs. Santino and Khali are watching in the back. I like this “let’s watch Ryback” idea. They give a pro-Math promo to start the match. They keep saying 2 is greater than 1 and even Cole is ripping on them. The fans chant Goldberg and I can’t really argue. Let’s say Hatton starts with a pair of kicks that do NOTHING. A forearm does nothing. There’s a big boot to put him down and Ryback throws him into a powerslam. He drags Hatton to his corner and pulls the other jobber in. There’s the huge clothesline and the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder kills jobber #2. MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:50.

Punk says that Jericho hasn’t proven anything yet and Punk has proven that he’s better than anyone else. Jericho is waking up with a hangover tomorrow because of the GTS.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Jericho said Punk would drink after he lost at Wrestlemania. Jericho lost at Wrestlemania so he poured alcohol over Punk and accused Punk of being drunk. This led to a field sobriety test which Punk faked being drunk for.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

It’s a Chicago Street Fight. They’re both in street clothes which is at least something different. They do big match intros and Punk is ungodly over. They stare each other down and it’s a brawl to start. Punk stomps him down into the corner and they head outside. Punk throws two chairs in and grabs a kendo stick, drawing an ECW chant. He gets in a few shots and tries a baseball swing at Jericho but Chris hits the floor.

Back in a clothesline puts Jericho down and it’s back to the stick. Punk’s sister is here in the front row and his parents are here somewhere. Jericho hides behind the referee and pokes Punk in the eye to take over. Out to the floor again and into timekeepers’ area but Punk gets in a shot. A headbutt puts the champion back down and he goes over in front of Punk’s sister.

Jericho gets in her face and gets slapped. He charges at her and that makes Punk snap. In something I’ve never seen before, Punk rips the top off the announce table and puts Jericho through the top of it. He tries a piledriver but Jericho shoves him off and takes over again, ramming him into the barricade which gets two in the ring. Chinlock time but it doesn’t last long. We lose a turnbuckle and Jericho fires off on Punk’s back with the kendo stick.

Jericho heads to the floor and finds a beer under the ring. That gives Punk a chance to catch his breath and he comes back with kendo stick shots to the back. Jericho comes back again and they go to the corner with Punk knocking him into Macho Elbow position. That only gets two as this is getting good. GTS is countered and Jericho throws him into a chair wedged between the ropes for two.

Codebreaker puts Punk down and Jericho smiles. He doesn’t cover but sets up the Walls. It’s the Liontamer and Punk is in trouble. Now it’s just the Walls because the Liontamer is too hard to get out of. Punk gets the rope but Jericho doesn’t let go because it’s a street fight. The champ finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and Jericho is kind enough to look over at him so it can be blasted into his face.

They go to the floor and Punk fires off some kicks. Jericho is laid out on the table so Punk goes up top and almost falls off the top. Now the Macho Elbow hits in a great looking dive. Jericho is holding the back of his head and seems mad at a chair. Back in the ring that somehow only gets two so Punk throws on the Anaconda Vice. Jericho tries for the kendo stick and gets in enough shots to Punk’s head to break the hold. Punk hits him in the ribs with a chair but Jericho grabs it for a Codebreaker which gets two. Jericho tries a GTS but Punk counters into a slingshot into the exposed buckle. GTS keeps the title at 25:10.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but the near falls at the end were great. I don’t think anyone expected Punk to lose here and it wouldn’t have been right for him to. There’s no need for this feud to continue now as Punk has pinned Jericho and made him tap so there’s nothing left to prove. I’m not sure where either of them goes next but it should be interesting. Very good match.

Punk dives into the fans post match.

Eve is in the back and tells Beth there’s no medical clearance for her tonight. She says she’ll get the title back someday. Nikki doesn’t get the night off though and it’s a surprise opponent. Eve: “Don’t worry it’s not Kharma.”

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. ???

It’s Layla, who at least looks better than Kharma. She’s been gone what, a year? This is your basic Divas match with the Bellas trying to switch after a spin kick and Layla countering the facejam into the Layout Neckbreaker for the pin at the title at 2:26.

Ace says what he was on the phone with HHH about isn’t Striker’s business.

We recap Cena vs. Lesnar which I don’t think needs an explanation. This includes the 853rd instance of the sitdown interview from Raw two weeks ago.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This is an Extreme Rules match which means they’re in wrestling gear. Well Lesnar is in MMA gear but you get the idea. The fans are more behind Cena than Lesnar. Cena charges right into a takedown and Brock comes at him with the strikes. Cena is cut on the left side of his head. Cena grabs a quick front facelock but Lesnar is WAY too strong. He poundso n Cena even more and the doctor comes in to check the cut. The replay shows that it was an elbow to the head. They close or at least stop the cut and go back to it.

Cena charges in again and Lesnar pounds him right down. Brock hammers on him and knocks Cena to the floor with a knee. The doctors stop it AGAIN to check the cut. Cena hits a quick elbow and tries the FU but Lesnar escapes and hits two rolling Germans. Lesnar’s Gonna Kill You chant. Cena comes back with some elbows and the shoulder block but there goes the referee.

Cena hits the ropes again but Lesnar runs him over. Lesnar goes for the open wound and rubs Cena’s blood on his own chest. Brock throws on an armbar (screw that kimura crap. This is wrestling) and then throws Cena to the floor instead of cranking on it. To the floor and Brock throws it on again but lets it go a second time, throwing Cena into the barricade.

Back in and Lesnar gets Cena’s chain and lock. He puts it down and chains Cena’s feet together. Cena gets up and Brock hits what might have been the hardest clothesline I’ve ever seen. With the legs still tied together, Brock puts him in the Tree of Woe. Brock goes after the referee but Cena escapes. That goes badly again as Brock whips him into the steps. AA is countered again into an F5 attempt but Cena’s legs hit the referee.

A second referee comes out but Lesnar throws him out too. The steps are brought in and Cena says Brock can’t see him. Back into the armbar and this time there’s a body vice. They’re on the steps and the fans care cheering for Cena. He picks Brock up into kind of a spinebuster but his arm is hanging limp. Cena goes up but misses the Fameasser. He was about an inch from hitting the steps too.

Cena rolls to the floor and is spent. Lesnar looks around bur can’t find Cena. He gets up on the steps and sees Cena (hehe) who can barely get back in. Cena gets up on the apron so Lesnar gets a running start from the steps and hits kind of a Poetry In Motion move but crashes to the floor and hurts his knee. He’s fine but Cena has the chain. Brock charges again and Cena gets in the chain shot to clock Lesnar. I think Brock is busted now. Oh yeah he is and Cena’s head has a lot of blood there too. An AA onto the steps gives Cena the pin at 18:05.

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

Cena poses on the steps to end the show. Scratch that as he wants a mic. He sits on the steps and says that he’s going to get sent home for speaking when he’s not spoken to. Cena says that he’s going to go home for this anyway. He knows this is Punk’s town but above all else, this is a wrestling town. Tonight the people were supposed to see the extreme and that’s what they got. He can’t feel his arm and he’s glad it was in Chicago. Everyone gives everything they have every night and if he has to take a vacation so be it. Thanks for one last ride and get home safe. What…..what just happened here?

Overall Rating: A. I had a good time with this show. It started off weak but MAN the last few matches were hitting on all cylinders. Even the Divas match wasn’t that bad. The main event was something totally different than we’ve seen in a long time and that’s what it needed to be. I was thinking this would be a good show and the big stuff hit perfectly. Good stuff here and worth checking out.

Results
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO onto a chair
Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler – Splash
Cody Rhodes b. Big Show – Cody dropkicked Show through a table
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Sheamus won two falls to one
Ryback b. Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton – MuscleBuster to Hatton
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS
Layla b. Nikki Bella – Layout
John Cena b. Brock Lesnar – AA onto the steps

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First of all: can someone explain the difference between a Chicago Street Fight and an Extreme Rules match?Punk to retain.  There’s no real reason to have him lose to Jericho here unless it’s to set up a final gimmick match at whatever the next show is, but I think it’s time for Jericho to move on unless they want to go with something about Punk actually drinking.  The build has been a lot of rehashing the stuff before Mania so I don’t see a point in continuing it after this.

I’m going with Lesnar over Cena but I think a better pick would be a big brawl that goes to a draw.  You can’t have Lesnar lose immediately coming back but Cena has to win something someday.  Cena hasn’t said anything in this feud for the most part other than in London so it should be interesting to see where it goes.

Sheamus retains.  It’s pretty clear that they’re going from Bryan to Del Rio as the new challenger because he’s the least interesting person they could have feuding with Sheamus and that’s the right choice I guess.  We’ll go with 2-0 on a hunch.

Oh and whatever Bella has the title retains before losing to Kharma on Raw.

Thoughts/picks?

Orton over Kane.  No real reason for it to go the other way.

Show will retain unless they’re really stupid with their booking.

Smackdown
Date: April 27, 2012
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T

It’s the last show before Extreme Rules and we’re minus a Josh Matthews here due to Lesnar killing him on Monday. We have a main event tonight of Sheamus vs. Mark Henry in a non-title match which is a rematch from Raw where Daniel Bryan cheated Sheamus with a fast count. Other than that I don’t think anything else has been announced. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is time, as I want it to be next Friday so I can see Avengers.

We see a clip of Josh’s attack from Monday.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He talks about cutting the cord and finally getting rid of AJ. He’s out here to set the record straight: the Wrestlemania loss to Sheamus doesn’t count and should go against AJ’s record, not his. Then on Monday he was asked to be guest referee in Sheamus vs. Henry. He said he’d call it right down the middle and he did. Some people are saying he fast counted Sheamus but here’s footage showing he didn’t. The count is shown in slow motion. We also get the post match attack and YES Lock.

Bryan says it’s time for a question and answer session. Did Henry beat Sheamus? YES. Did he make Sheamus tap out? YES (not that I remember). Will he get the title back on Sunday? YES. Cue Del Rio who asks a bunch of questions with Ricardo shouting SI after every one in a funny bit. Big Show comes out and wants to know if it’s YES or SI, which starts a chant. Show knocks Bryan to the floor and chokeslams Ricardo. Good chokeslam too.

Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is joined in progress after a break and I’m pretty sure is non-title. Show chops Del Rio in the corner and clubs him down with forearms. Del Rio is knocked to the floor but he drapes the arm over the ropes to take over. Show vs. Cody’s stipulation will be determined by a spin of the wheel. Show shrugs him off and spears him down. He loads up the chokeslam but Cody comes in for the DQ at 1:54.

Cody tries some weapons but Show knocks them away. He steals Cody’s belt and whips Cody with it a few times. Cody hasn’t gotten in a single successful attack or victory over Show at all since Wrestlemania.

Ace and Eve are in the back and he says that Eve can make whatever changes she thinks are good on Smackdown. Just run them by him first. Eve says she doesn’t know any of the crew people so maybe they should make them wear nametags. They run into Teddy who wants to know what his job is. Ace says Teddy reports directly to Eve, who tells him to go get a nametag.

We get a clip from the Divas Title match Monday where Nikki won it from Beth.

Damien Sandow talks about enlightenment. The fans aren’t enlightened as they worship people with nonsensical catchphrases and loud music. He debuts in a week.

Alicia Fox vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title again. The place just goes silent for this as you can hear the girls shouting at each other. Nikki throws Alicia and those hips around with a snapmare and it’s off to a modified chinlock. Alicia comes back with a one footed dropkick and basically falls off the middle rope for a back elbow. Twin Magic lets Brie hit a facejam for the pin at 1:48.

O’Neil and Young come up to Yoshi who I think they’re facing tonight. They make fun of Japanese people that put their hands together and bow while saying hai. They ask about Yoshi’s partner and imply he can’t speak English. Big Zeke comes up and says he’s the partner tonight. They sing a song about how Zeke is big and strong but doesn’t have any cuts. Where were these guys on NXT?

Teddy is now in a maid’s outfit over his suit and has a big nametag on his chest. Aksana comes in and he thanks her for sticking by him. She’s surprised he has grandchildren and here’s Ace who says Aksana’s favor has been granted: Antonio Cesar gets a tryout match tonight. If he wins, he gets a job. Eve had an idea that Aksana should be guest ring announcer. Oh and Teddy will have his own ringside commentary table to make sure we have three commentators and he starts next. Ace will tell him every word he says through a headset.

Ezekiel Jackson/Yoshi Tatsu vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Teddy is on commentary at a separate table but can’t talk unless Ace gives him the ok and the exact words in his ears. Young and Tatsu start in the corner and Young takes him down with a Hot Shot. Off to Titus as Cole berates Teddy. The heels beat on Tatsu with double teaming and on their own. Young dropkicks the knee out on Jackson while he’s on the apron and a REALLY bad modified Hart Attack out of the corner gets the pin on Yoshi at 1:50. Young missed Tatsu for the most part so it was more like a shove than a chop while Titus powerbombed him.

Here’s Cole in the ring and he brings out Orton for an interview. Cole asks about Orton’s match on Sunday and Orton says he likes to shoot first and ask questions later. He’ll be ready to do whatever it takes to beat Kane on Sunday. We get a video on their feud (long one too, like two minutes) and Orton says he can almost respect what Kane did because it’s something he’d do, but he won’t accept it. On Sunday, there are no rules so he can do whatever he wants. Kane is the devil’s favorite demon, but even the devil couldn’t so what Orton is going to do on Sunda.

Cue….Jinder Mahal? He thinks Orton and Kane will destroy each other and a new breed will emerge. Mahal says he’s better than Orton all around and that he’ll be waiting after Extreme Rules. Orton cuts him off and lays him out with an RKO. Are they really going with Mahal vs. Orton after this? Why? What has Mahal done to make them think he deserves that spot?

Kofi Kingston says don’t try this at home or school.

Tyson Kidd vs. Antonio Cesaro

Kidd doesn’t get an entrance. Cesaro’s music reminds me of Johnny B. Badd’s. Cesaro is of course Claudio Castagnoli. He has what looks like socks wrapped around his thighs. Booker: “Are those kneepads?” Cole: “No Booker. If they were kneepads they would be around his knees.” Cesaro uses a lot of power strikes and a gutwrench suplex to take Kidd over. He throws Kidd in the air and hits a European Uppercut on the way down. Cesaro sets for a cradle piledriver but falls forward ala DDP’s pancake move for the pin at 1:10.

Teddy has to go in and do something he doesn’t want to do post match. He raises Cesaro’s hand and then Cesaro kisses Aksana.

Long video on Lesnar vs. Cena, including clips from the sitdown interview and from Edge’s promo on Monday. Cena hasn’t said much in this.

Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes

This is as a result of the attack before the six man from last week. Cody is still sore from the whipping Show gave him earlier. Cody goes for the knee which doesn’t work at all. He manages to take Khali down and DDTs the knee before going up top. A missile dropkick puts Khali down for two. Back to the knee but Khali gets up and uses some clotheslines to take Cody down. Disaster Kick is caught in the Plunge….for the clean pin at 1:59. Oh good grief I’m not going to bother explaining how stupid this is.

Washington pitches to the tag champions some more and thinks Rosa should talk some more. He needs a decision by Monday though. Ryback comes up and glares at them and walks away. Washington tries to set up a meeting with him.

The Usos are watching in the back.

Jacob Kaye vs. Ryback

Kaye says that he’s not going to be another no name schnook. I like this guy already. He’s from Grand Rapids and has been trying to escape it for years now. Kaye charges at him and gets thrown down immediately. Ryback kicks his head off and chokes him with the boot. Gorilla press into a powerslam sets up the clothesline and the Muscle Buster gets the pin at 1:08. This guy is so much fun.

Video on AJ going crazy last week. She has no comment on anything but looks very evil. Kaitlyn comes up and tells Striker to leave her alone. Striker leaves and Kaitlyn tries to talk some sense into her so AJ slaps the taste out of her mouth. She immediately seems to regret it but Kaitlyn leaves. This is getting interested.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry overpowers him to start so Shemaus slows down a little bit. A headlock doesn’t work and Henry puts him down again. Sheamus goes to the knee and takes Henry down for two. He goes for the arm but Henry shoves him to the floor with ease. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder for two and we take a break. Back with Henry slamming the champ to take over.

Henry gets knocked to the apron and Sheamus hits the ten forearms which are getting cheered a lot better lately. Henry easily throws Sheamus down though and hits a HARD whip into the barricade. Back in for a quick nerve hold but Sheamus gets out. Henry hits something that looked like a crescent kick to put Sheamus down for two. Sheamus comes back with his double ax handles to the chest and down goes Henry.

A DDT gets two for the champion. He’s getting fired up now and starts to pound his chest and shouting Brogue. Probably due to shouting very loudly, Henry is able to run him over for two. A charge misses and Sheamus goes up but jumps over Henry. Brogue Kick takes Henry’s head off for the pin at 7:26 shown of 10:56.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from these two. Henry is the perfect foil for a guy like Sheamus as it looks impressive when Sheamus beats him but Henry’s power is good enough to give Sheamus a threat. Also it helps that Sheamus has a finisher that he can hit on anyone instead of a power move.

Bryan comes to the apron and Sheamus invites him down. Sheamus says this Sunday won’t be a fluke and there won’t be an AJ to blame. Will Sheamus kick Bryan’s head off and keep the title? YES! YES! YES! The chant ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show for the most part other than the Khali win. For the life of me is it a crime to make him look strong before a rematch? Anyway I liked a lot about this, including the push for the world title match and Ryback’s match, as he’s the more interesting version of someone like Tensai, minus the big win. Good show here and they pushed the PPV strong, which is the right idea.

Results
Big Show b. Albert Del Rio via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Nikki Bella b. Alicia Fox – Brie Bella pinned Fox after a facejam
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Yoshi Tatsu/Ezekiel Jackson – Double Team Powerbomb
Antonio Cesaro b. Tyson Kidd – Cradle Pancake
Great Khali b. Cody Rhodes – Punjabi Plunge
Ryback b. Jacob Kaye – Muscle Buster
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 23, 2012
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s a three hour show in Detroit tonight. In theory this was going to be the Draft but with the Super Show having guys from both shows on it, there’s no real need to have one. Del Rio was officially traded to Smackdown so they could probably have things like that instead of wasting a full show on a Draft. That’s probably a good idea as you can use time on other stuff. Today is also Cena’s birthday if that means anything. Let’s get to it.

Let’s burn it to the ground.

We open with the Lesnar vs. Cena contract signing, moderated by Teddy Long. Teddy screws up something about the number of titles Cena has won, because CLEARLY which title he’s won makes a difference right? Brock gets his entrance but it’s Ace instead. Brock isn’t here yet so the signing will be later. Also tonight might be Cena’s last night on Raw, so get out of his ring.

Ace goes to leave…..and here’s Edge. He says he’s off his contract in a few days after this but he’s here to talk to Cena. However this isn’t the real Cena standing in front of him. Edge came to talk to the John Cena who is his greatest rival ever in the WWE. The real Cena is the one that beat him at TLC in Toronto and threw him in the Long Island Sound. Maybe it was Rock beating him that changed Cena, because big losses can change people, like Andre losing to Hogan and the Screwjob and such.

Cena has to find what’s inside of him because this is all that both Edge and Cena have ever done. This isn’t what Lesnar is all about. He doesn’t care about these people unless they can line his pockets. Brock was gone for eight years while Cena and Edge were carrying the load. A loss to Lesnar is a slap in the face of guys like Undertaker, Michaels and Edge, so Cena needs to wake up. He isn’t asking Cena to beat Lesnar. He’s telling him to. This was pretty freaking awesome.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi quickly knocks him to the floor and has to do the hair bounce off the top rope thing because Jericho moved out of the way. Back in Jericho easily takes over and chops Kofi down before hooking a headlock. A charge into the corner misses and Jericho is knocked to the floor. Kofi hits a HUGE flip dive over the top which looked awesome. Chris is down as we take a break.

Back with Jericho holding a chinlock (duh) due to the springboard dropkick during the break. The bulldog puts Kofi down but the Lionsault misses. Standing rana gets two for Kofi but Chris hits a clothesline to take him down. Kofi pops back up for the top rope cross body and the SOS for two each. Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Walls attempt but Kofi escapes. He tries a springboard something but jumps into the Codebreaker. Liontamer ends this at 12:00.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end. Kofi is great in this spot and I’d have few problems if he stayed here for awhile. He can be given a quick push if need be but he’s fitting in very well as a high flying jobber to the stars. There’s nothing wrong with being in this place on the card for a long stretch as a lot of people have had fine careers here.

Jericho says he’s going to win the title on Sunday and has a present for Punk when his title reign ends.

We get a clip of Lesnar debuting (in the ring) against Jeff Hardy and winning by KO at Backlash 2002.

Ace is on the phone when Eve comes in. He tells her to call him Johnny and offers her an opening in his administration. The job would be Executive Administrator which she accepts. He wants a hug but gets a handshake instead.

We get some of the sitdown interview from last week with Lesnar.

Punk is in the back and his gift is a big basket of liquor. Punk keeps one bottle which he says he’ll give to Jericho at the PPV and gives the rest of the basket to Josh. This could be interesting.

Lord Tensai vs. R-Truth

This is kind of a drop in opponent quality for Tensai. Tensai’s inset promo is mostly in Japanese. Tensai no sells a lot of Truth’s offense and runs him over. He fires off the headbutts in the corner and Truth is in trouble. Backsplash hits and the Baldo Bomb sets up the Mist Claw for the win at 2:00.

Here’s Kane to talk about the match on Sunday with Orton. Orton can’t beat Kane with rules as was proven at Wrestlemania so why would he think that he can beat Kane without them? Orton is struggling with humanity and hates that Kane has discovered his one true weakness. Kane has found Orton’s shoulders? He calls Randy a scared boy looking for his father. Orton pops up on the screen and says he wants to get into this too. Behind him is Paul Bearer tied up in a chair. Orton throws him inside what looks like a freezer. Kane says he doesn’t care because his father is the devil himself.

Kane goes to leave but Orton comes up the aisle for a slugout. Kane gets rammed into the steps and then the post with a good looking shot. Orton finds a pipe from somewhere and beats Kane up with it, sending Kane up through the crowd.

Jericho is in the back and runs into Alex Riley, who says he thinks Punk is drinking from the bottle of alcohol he was given. They go to his locker room and see him on the phone having a drink from a red cup with the bottle next to it, but you can’t tell what’s in the cup. Jericho looks happily stunned.

Alberto Del Rio/Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show/Great Khali

Cody vs. Show II is announced for the PPV and the stipulation is to be determined. They don’t know it by now? That can’t be a good sign. Khali is limping from the attack on Friday. He and Cody start and Cody’s kick is easily countered. Khali goes after the knee of Cody but when he loads up the chop Cody bails to the floor. Back inside Rhodes immediately tags out and Alberto fires a kick to the knee. That gets him nowhere other than into the corner for some chops.

We take a break and come back with the hot tag to Big show so he can beat on Del Rio. Cody pulls the rope down and sends Show to the floor for some work on the knee. The heels work over the knee with Cody hooking the Figure Four. It’s not as bad as the one from Friday but it’s still pretty bad. Show comes back and Del Rio walks out, allowing the chokeslam to pin Cody at 10:20.

Rating: D+. Oh good freaking grief this company makes my head HURT. There’s a title match on Sunday (one of five total on the show I believe) and they decide to have the champion, who has dominated the challenger for a month now, dominate him again. I mean, heaven forbid that Khali gets pinned or that Big Show takes a fluke fall to make us think that Cody has a chance right?

Santino defends the US Title against Miz on the pre-show on Sunday, because THE UNITED STATES TITLE ISN’T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO PUT ON A FREAKING PAY PER VIEW!

Jericho is with Ace, Eve and Teddy, saying that Punk needs to be stripped of the title. Eve says that there’s a WWE rule saying that you can’t drink alcohol within 12 hours of a WWE show. There’s going to be a field sobriety test later. Jericho leaves and Teddy gets yelled at for not following the rules. He gets to administer the test later and possibly strip Punk of the title.

Lesnar is here and shoves Josh against a wall. Brock walks away and Josh says he’s just trying to do his job, which earns him a trip through the interview set.

Back from a break and Josh is being put on a stretcher.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match here’s Eve to say that this is now a lumberjack match. Maxine is one of the divas here so I’m sure she’ll be complaining about not being off NXT yet this week again. Nikki dropkicks Beth down and monkey flips her down. That results in her getting slammed into the corner and gorilla press dropped. Off to a chinlock followed by a backbreaker. Beth throws her to the floor and injures her knee. Brie goes after Beth and the lumberjacks jump on Beth in a dog pile. I think there was a switch in the pile but I’m not sure. Beth’s ankle or leg is messed up, allowing Nikki to roll her up and win the title at 4:11.

Rating: D. The girls looked good, the match was the usual Diva stuff, the whole deal with the Bellas leaving soon is now up in the air, I still don’t care about the Divas. Next. Oh and the leg injury appears to be real.

Punk freaks out and breaks stuff because he has to have a sobriety test.

Here’s Teddy with two cops for the sobriety test. Jericho comes out to observe this. Punk comes out and is acting shaky because he’s drunk you see. He drops the belt as he’s standing in the ring. It’s not Hawk in 98 bad but I don’t see a clear ending to this. Punk talks about how ridiculous this is, and the whole WWF (yes WWF) Universe says this is ridiculous. First up is he has to recite the alphabet backwards. He can’t do it and says it’s stupid because no one can do that sober or drunk.

Next up is walking a red line that’s in the ring. “I’ve seen Cops before. This is easy.” He does a Karate Kid impression but can’t do this either. The second officer says that Punk is obviously intoxicated and the cops are sent away. Teddy asks for the title and Punk doesn’t want to do it of course. He hands Teddy the title but before it goes to Jericho Punk wants one more chance. He tries to do the alphabet backwards again and does it very slowly (messing up the S and the T) but does it at the same time as walking a straight line, before moonwalking and strutting through the end. Punk gets it right and destroys Jericho.

Clip of Lesnar destroying Hogan on Smackdown. I really don’t get why this is supposed to be a big deal.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Daniel Bryan gets to be guest referee. They trade power to start but Bryan stops him from throwing a punch. Remember that Sheamus is on the referee probation. Henry runs Sheamus over and covers with Bryan counting the pin in less than a second, ending it at 1:36.

Post match Sheamus goes after Bryan but has to kick Henry’s head off first. He takes Sheamus’ knee out and kicks him in the head before putting on the YES Lock.

Brodus/Horny vs. Ziggler/Swagger later on has its own sponsor: Taco Bell.

Back from a break Sheamu

s thinks Bryan is a coward and a snake in the grass. He’s going to get the same treatment that the snakes in Ireland got, but Sheamus is no saint. I like Sheamus A LOT more (which is saying a lot as he might be my favorite wrestler right now) when he has some adversity instead of just plowing over everyone.

Primo/Epico vs. Zach Ryder/Santino Marella

Ryder and Epico start things off with Zach taking over with an armbar. He sends Epico into the corner and hits the boot but Rosa distracts him from hitting the Rough Ryder. Out to the floor and Ryder gets sent into the post which gets one in the ring. The champs hammer away on him but Primo misses a springboard flip dive, allowing the hot tag to Santino. He loads up the Cobra as Ryder takes out Epico. Primo dropkicks Santino down but Santino backflips to his feet and the Cobra gets the pin at 3:18. It was stupid but I found it funny so that’s all that matters.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what to think of this. On one hand I’m glad Ryder isn’t getting destroyed by another main event guy, but at the same time the tag titles are about as valuable as the CWF Bahamanian Title right now. Then again, the titles have been dead for a long time now so I think it’s excusable.

Kane sneaks into the freezer and gets Paul out. Paul thanks him for saving him, but Kane shoves him back in again. Ok then.

Epico and Primo are arguing when Abraham Washington comes in and wants to know why they’re being treated like jokes who can’t get on Wrestlemania or can’t get an entrance. He gives them his card and they seem interested.

Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

This is presented by Taco Bell. Whatever pays the bills. Horny starts with Swagger before it’s off to Dolph. He stands on Horny’s head but Horny comes back with a headscissors. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and the fat dancing dinosaur from another planet runs over the All American Hitler Youth. Vickie comes in for the DQ at 1:55.

Horny, the dancers and Brodus surround her but she goes to get Brodus’ hat and puts it on Clay’s head. Horny bites her and that’s it.

Lesnar headlined Mania 19. His concussion isn’t mentioned or shown.

Here’s the rest of the interview with Brock last week.

Ace comes out to run the contract signing. Brock comes out to a decent pop. And there’s no Cena. Lesnar calls him out but there’s still no Cena. Brock gets in Ace’s face a bit but says that he needs to talk about why Brock was late earlier today. He asks Ace to sit down and talk about some changes that Lesnar wants and needs. Since he’s been back, he’s not happy with how things are going.

Brock has some demands/requests that Ace is going to have to sign off on them. He has a copy of those changes that have to go through before Sunday, preferably right now or he’s not signing to face Cena. Brock says he’s not a naive farm boy like he was eight years ago. Instead he knows this company needs him. If he’s going to be the face of the company, he wants all of Ace’s ideas run by him first. He wants Vince’s private jet to and from the venues for Raw.

Beating people up makes him happy, so when he got he got here and had to deal with what he hates, that being stupid people, he beat someone up. He’ll show up on Raw when and how he wants. Ace can’t fine Brock like he did Sheamus and Brock wants more money also. Until those demands are met, there’s no match on Sunday. Oh and the show needs to be called Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. Ace shakes his hand and says he agrees to those terms. Brock signs and here comes Cena.

Cena has the chain and the lock around his neck. I think this is Serious Cena. He has the chain in his hand now and looks at the contract but doesn’t sign it yet. Cena looks at it again but still won’t sign. Lesnar taunts him and Cena takes the contract out of the folder. Brock says he likes the feeling he’s getting from Cena because it feels like it’s real.

He says Cena is scared and that he’s the reason Cena lost last week. He keeps saying Cena is scared which makes Cena sign. Cena has the right hand with the chain cocked back and Brock has his hand cocked as well. There goes the table but Brock smiles and shakes his finger no. Cena never said a word. Brock leaves to a ton of booing for the first time since he’s been back. And we’re done with a 15 minute overrun.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show as it felt like a go home show. Instead of your usual stuff, we got a lot of solid build to the major matches. Why was it solid? BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALL THE SAME! They mixed stuff up, like with the two world title matches. It’s so refreshing to see something different like that instead of the same stuff time after time.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Walls of Jericho
Lord Tensai b. R-Truth – Claw Hold
Big Show/Great Khali b. Cody Rhodes/Alberto Del Rio – Chokeslam to Rhodes
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Rollup
Mark Henry b. Sheamus – Clothesline
Zach Ryder/Santino Marella b. Epico/Primo – Cobra to Primo
Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Vickie Guerrero interfered

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Smackdown
Date: April 20, 2012
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re still in England this week for the last TV show of the tour. I don’t remember anything being announced for tonight’s show so I’m really not sure what to expect from it. We’ll probably get more build to Bryan vs. Sheamus as well as hopefully a few more matches added to the thin card. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is an annoying piece of malware at the moment.

There’s a six man tag main event: Cody/Bryan/Henry vs. Orton/Sheamus/Khali.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He talks about how Sheamus didn’t do anything better than him at Wrestlemania. Instead of facing him like a man, Sheamus took the coward’s way out and jumped Bryan from behind like he’s done to everyone. At Extreme Rules he won’t get jumped or be distracted. So now it’s back to Chicago where he shocked the world by winning the MITB case. He’ll beat Sheamus twice in the two out of three falls match and get back his rightful title. Did Sheamus cheat at Wrestlemania? YES! Will Bryan win the title back at Extreme Rules? YES!

Cue AJ to a lot of booing. How can you boo someone that looks like that? Bryan tells her to turn around and go away but she says this is the only way she can talk to him. AJ asks if she can just talk to him about their problems but Bryan says he has no problems. He had one, but he got rid of her. Bryan regrets ever going out with her in the first place and he wishes that she was never even born. That finally gets the people to boo Bryan. He asks if there’s any chance he’d ever take AJ back and answers with an emphatic NO before leaving.

AJ vs. Natalya

AJ starts off all stoic but suddenly explodes on Natalya, beating her into the corner. The referee pulls her off twice but AJ won’t let up, drawing a DQ at 48 seconds.

Damien Sandow talks about something Benjamin Franklin said and runs down Dancing With The Stars and Hoarders. At least with Dancing it’s about something that involves work and talent. Most of the other shows he criticizes I completely agree with him on.

Brodus Clay vs. Hunico

Brodus has something to say. He says cut the music and gets booed, prompting him to say it’s coming, so don’t worry. His little brother is supposed to be here so he sends the Funkadactyls (the girls) to go find him. And it’s Horny. Cole’s reaction is exactly what mind is. At least the Mama and the Bridge Club was something original. Brodus does his shaking and Horny gets in to do it as well. Hunico becomes my new hero by shoving him down. The squash commences and the splash ends it in 1:10, about 25 seconds of which was spent on the Hornswoggle part.

Horny hits the Tadpole Splash post match. I hope this isn’t permanent.

Teddy is looking for Aksana but finds Titus and Young who are new to Smackdown. They laugh at him for not signing them and now being a gopher. Ace pops up and they all make fun of Teddy. Titus/Young leave so Ace puts one of those big black furry Queen’s guard hats on Teddy who isn’t allowed to talk or move for the rest of the night.

Orton is in the back with Striker and we get a video on the attack on Cowboy Bob last week. Orton, with his growing mutton chops, says that his dad will be fine. On the other hand, Kane isn’t going to be fine. They have a match at Extreme Rules and it’s falls count anywhere.

Usos vs. Titus O’Neal/Darren Young

NXT comes to Fridays. I forgot how annoying Titus’ song was. Young starts with Jimmy who hits a spinning forearm for two. Off to Jey who hits some double chops before bringing Jimmy back in. Titus comes in and the fans do not care at all. He uses his power stuff and gets a small reaction off a European Uppercut. Back to Young who hits a neckbreaker for two. The fans are waking up a bit. A tag brings in Jimmy who gets the only solid reaction for the US shout to the crowd. Jey gets sent to the floor and a blind tag allows Young and Titus to hit a Hart Attack out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. It might be because I watched these teams fight so many times on NXT but I didn’t care at all about this match. Titus is ok but Young is so uninteresting that it stuns me that he got a main roster spot. I guess having another tag team on the show is good but this match is nothing of note. Another loss for the Usos doesn’t please me either.

The Raw ReBound is about Jericho vs. Punk.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Non-title. Del Rio drives an Aston Martin here which is very appropriate. Del Rio has officially been traded to the Smackdown roster with no compensation announced yet. Big Show blocks Del Rio’s offense out of the corner and shoves him down. Show stands on his chest in the corner and chops it for good measure. An elbow follows for two. Show loads up the big punch but Del Rio kicks him in the knee to take him down.

More kicks to the arm by Del Rio follow and he hooks an armbar. Show shrugs it off but the chokeslam is broken up by a kick to the knee. The Codebreaker to the arm sets up the armbreaker but Show lifts him up with the bad arm into kind of an Angle Slam minus the spin. Show spears him down and calls for the chokeslam. Ricardo gets up on the apron and Cody comes in with the Disaster Kick, giving Del Rio the pin.

Rating: C-. Does any champion other than the world champions EVER get to pin someone? Oh right: Santino does. For the life of me I don’t get the point of why they keep having the champs lose. Have Cody come in for a DQ or something when Show has the match won. One of the biggest reasons the titles mean nothing is the champions lose every time and it’s frustrating because there are other ways to do the same story without having them lose like Show did here.

Cody runs away post match.

Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater are watching the following squash.

Danny Lerman vs. Ryback

Same deal as always but this time it’s a British guy. Lerman hits him and is promptly mangled. Clothesline and MuscleBuster variation win in 1:11.

We get the Brock interview from Raw.

Teddy is still standing in the same place although he’s now in a full uniform. Regal pops up for some jokes and leaves. Aksana’s music hits and HOKEY SMOKE THAT’S CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI! He’s playing the Antonio Cesaro character here, a European rugby player. Ace pops out of his office and invites them in. I’m not British so maybe I don’t get it, but what’s the point of guards that aren’t allowed to move? Couldn’t that create some security risks?

Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry vs. Sheamus/Great Khali/Randy Orton

Main event time. Cody jumps Khali and hits him in the knee as Khali is getting in. Trainers come out and say Khali can’t go. Big Show comes out to replace him.

Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry vs. Sheamus/Big Show/Randy Orton

The match is joined in progress after a break with Randy pounding on Bryan in the corner. Tag to Sheamus so Bryan bails to the corner to tag in Cody. The champ knocks Cody around and hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam for two. Cody’s neckbreaker is countered and Sheamus throws him into position for the ten forearms. Cody reverses a suplex and sends Sheamus to the floor. A baseball slide by Cody sets up the knee off the apron from Bryan, which I think is the same thing that’s happened to him for three or four weeks in a row.

Bryan comes in to stomp on Sheamus now with a YES for each connecting boot. Henry comes in for some choking and it’s back to Rhodes. He works on the arm of the champ and then into a chinlock. Sheamus fights out of that as well and knocks Cody out of the air on the Disaster Kick attempt. Hot tag to Orton and it’s powerslams for all normal sized heels. Cody gets in a shot though and it’s time for a break.

Back with Henry holding Orton in a neck crank and it’s back to Bryan. A running dropkick in the corner gets two. A top rope splash misses and Orton makes the tag to Big Show who faces Henry. Cody manages a knee to the back and Mark clotheslines Show down. The heels beat on him and Cody hooks a figure four that his daddy would be ashamed of. While the hold is still on, Cody makes a tag to Henry who splashes Show for two.

Bryan drops an elbow for two. Hot tag to Sheamus to meet Bryan and the beating is on. Irish Curse gets two with Cody making the save. Rhodes rolls to the floor and lands right in front of Show who knocks him out cold with the WMD. YES Lock is blocked by Sheamus but the Brogue Kick misses as well. Tag to Henry and Sheamus kicks his head off. Show adds the right hand and the RKO gets the pin at 13:20 shown of at least 16:50.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was getting into this match at the end. First of all, the right guy got pinned. There would have been no reason to have Bryan or Cody lose before the PPV so Henry was the right choice. Second, they changed up the formula by having each good guy be in trouble which made the match more fleshed out and told a better story. Also the total destruction of Henry at the end was a nice touch.

Show was limping post match.

Overall Rating: B. This was a solid episode as everything moved pretty smoothly and a lot of people got on TV. We had a debut and a solid main event, plus a new match added to the PPV with Kane vs. Orton. The one thing I’m concerned about is we seem to only have five matches (Brock/Cena, Kane/Orton, Jericho/Punk, Sheamus/Bryan and presumably Cody/Show) and there’s a week left. They’ll need to add two or three matches in two shows which is possible but a bit rushed. Still though, good show tonight.

Results
Natalya b. AJ via DQ when AJ wouldn’t stop attacking Natalya in the corner
Brodus Clay b. Hunico – Big Splash
Titus O’Neal/Darren Young b. Usos – Hart Attack out of the corner
Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Pin after a Disaster Kick from Cody Rhodes
Ryback b. Danny Lerman – MuscleBuster
Big Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Mark Henry/Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Henry

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