Monday Night Raw
Date: January 22, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble but you might not know it by watching the previous shows. The Rumble itself has barely been mentioned as most of the focus has been on Umaga vs. John Cena for the World Title. That’s not a bad move, but it is a bit of a weird one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Bam Bam Bigelow. That’s a hard one.

We open with a recap of Rated-RKO taking out some of Shawn Michaels’ friends last week but getting taken out by Shawn himself in the main event.

Here is Shawn Michaels to get things going. Last week, he felt a feeling that he has tried to overcome for years. He does not like those feelings coming back but those days of stopping are gone. Shawn feels like he can be WWE Champion again and that starts this Sunday by winning the Royal Rumble. May God have mercy on the 29 other entrants who dare to get in his way and no mortal man is going to get in his way….but here is Edge to interrupt.

Edge talks about how he is the one who is going to win the Royal Rumble because he has been to the top of the mountain twice, but Shawn tells him to shut up. The fight is on and security can’t break it up. We take a break and come back with the break still on in the back and security still not being much good.

Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Non-title and this is Raw vs. Smackdown as Jeff wants revenge on Mercury for helping take out Matt Hardy on Friday. Johnny Nitro and Melina are here too but Jeff throws Mercury in to start in a hurry. Mercury gets in a shot so Nitro pulls the mat back on the floor. That’s enough for an ejection but Mercury is able to grab Jeff’s face and rip away. Jeff fights up with some elbows to the face into the Whisper in the Wind. The Twist of Fate drops Mercury on his damaged face to give Jeff the fast pin.

Post match Jeff gets out of there before Nitro and Melina can get back.

Jonathan Coachman comes in to see Vince McMahon and has an idea for tonight. He’ll throw Shawn Michaels and Edge out, but Vince makes a street fight instead. In addition, Vince has an announcement to make in the ring.

Here are Vince and Coach for a chat. Vince talks about reading Donald Trump’s letter last week, so tonight he is going to read his own letter to Trump. The letter talks about Trump’s TV ratings being awful, but they will go up when Vince guest stars on the Apprentice. He is the reason for Raw’s ratings success, and it could be due to his good looks, his charisma, or his Herculean physique. The people love him and he loves them back. Fans: “A**HOLE!” Vince: “You’re making it tough to love you back!”

Vince promises to show his love for the people next week but here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena wants to know when Vince became Brother Love and tells him to stop yapping about Donald Trump. It’s like Vince is obsessed with him and an obsessed Vince McMahon is never a good thing. Cena: “Remember that obsession you had with starting your own football league?” Cena compares Vince and Trump, with Coach saying Trump does everything bigger than Vince, including having more money. That’s too far for Vince, who makes Cena vs. Coach for tonight.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

Masters jumps him to start but Crazy hits a quick middle rope crossbody. Crazy gets thrown down again and the stomping is on in a hurry. Back up and Crazy slugs away, including a spinwheel kick, which has Lawler thinking Crazy is “all jacked up on Mountain Dew.” Masters catches him coming out of the corner with the Masterlock but Crazy climbs the corner and drops back onto him for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Crazy wins to give him a little momentum. WWE seems interested in pushing him and he hasn’t done badly at all in response. I could go for a bit more of him and the fans seem to like him well enough. Granted it isn’t hard to get cheered against Masters, so the pairing does make sense.

Coach tries to convince Vince McMahon that he is way richer than Donald Trump but Vince is more worried about showing the fans how he appreciates them next week. Oh and Coach’s match with Cena is still on.

Kenny Dykstra insists that he is going to win the Royal Rumble on Sunday. He defeated Ric Flair three times so he knows he can do it. Maria doesn’t seem convinced but Dykstra says this is going to be his year.

A very banged up Randy Orton isn’t happy with Edge for leaving him to get mauled by Shawn Michaels last week. Edge tries to explain what happened and wants to know if Orton has his back in getting rid of Shawn Michaels tonight. Orton says we’ll wait and see as you can feel the tension.

John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman

Non-title. Actually hang on a second as Coach has another idea: we’re going to have a Royal Rumble, and if Cena wins, THEN he can face Coach one on one. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are here first and the double teaming is on in a hurry, including a bunch of right hands. Cade drops Murdoch down into a legdrop on Cena and the beating is on in the corner. Cena fights out of said corner and tosses Murdoch without much effort.

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas are in next, with Viscera following shortly thereafter. Cade comes back in to help hold Cena down for Viscera’s elbow. Cue Great Khali to starts clearing the ring until Viscera and Cena are the only others left. A big boot drops Viscera and Khali tosses him, allowing Cena to come in off the top with a shoulder. That has almost no effect so Khali hits a clothesline and tosses him out for the win.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s all it needed to be. Khali is becoming a player in a hurry because he is pretty easy to push. You can probably pencil him in for a title program soon after Wrestlemania is over and I’ve heard far worse ideas. Not much of a match of course, but at least it had a point.

Post match Khali runs Cena over again and drops him with ease, allowing Coach to run in for two. Cue Umaga to jump Cena from behind and I guess that’s a DQ? Either way, Umaga splashes Cena through a table to crush his ribs. It takes a long time to get rid of Umaga and Cena has to be helped to the back.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Victoria/Melina

This is Candice’s return after Victoria broke her nose, meaning a lot of nose pointing ensues. Mickie starts fast with a basement dropkick to Melina and we get the required spank. A hurricanrana sends Melina flying out of the corner but Victoria pulls Mickie down from the apron. There’s a double wishbone to keep Mickie in trouble and Melina chokes in the ropes, sending Lawler into hysterics.

Mickie avoids Victoria’s running charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Candice to start cleaning house. A dropkick puts Melina down but Victoria hits a heck of a knee to the face. Mickie comes in for the save and dives onto Melina, leaving Candice to hit a middle rope….uh….I guess we’ll say elbow for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was about getting Candice out there to show off what seems to be her new cosmetic enhancements and rather limited outfit. Candice is absolutely trying but there is a bit of a way to go between effort and success. Pretty bad match, but you can almost guarantee that Candice is getting a push in a hurry.

Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito, who sends Kenny into the corner without much effort. Kenny is right back with a dropkick into a chinlock but Carlito gets to his feet and hammers away. A springboard back elbow drops Kenny but he grabs a rollup into a pinfall reversal sequence. Kenny finally grabs the trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here with Dykstra getting a win over someone other than Ric Flair. It doesn’t make things that much better for him as all of the problems are still there, but at least they are trying with someone else. At the same time, Carlito is still about as uninteresting as you can get, which has been the case for a long time now.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. Shawn Michaels from last week in the same video that started the show.

Cryme Tyme is selling Royal Rumble numbers to Eugene and Super Crazy. Since he is crazy, Crazy will take any number. Crazy is rather pleased with his number and Eugene gets #30. Hold on though as Cryme Tyme explains that he really wants to be #1…..which he can be for another $50. Eugene leaves, and we find out that not only are the numbers not real, but Eugene isn’t even in the number. Also, they sold the painting The Scream and it wasn’t real either. Cryme Tyme leaves and it turns out that Ron Simmons bought said painting. Guess what he has to say.

Royal Rumble Rundown.

We look back at Cena being taken out. Cena may have a ruptured spleen.

We look back at Edge and Shawn Michaels brawling earlier tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Edge

Street fight and they’re both in street clothes. Shawn wins the early slugout and pulls Edge’s belt off for a whipping. The weapons are brought in but Edge knocks him out of the air with a trashcan lid. We take a break and come back with Edge busted open and hitting him in the ribs with something made of metal.

Edge gets creative by superplexing a ladder onto Shawn for two but a powerbomb is broken up with some right hands to the head. The comeback is on with Shawn hitting the atomic drop. A chain is wrapped around Edge’s eyes and now he is busted open as well. Shawn drops Edge onto a ladder bridged over two sets of steps but Edge gets up to catch Shawn on top.

That doesn’t make a difference either though as Shawn drops Edge ribs first onto the ladder again. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Edge reverses into something like an electric chair (Edge tried to pick him up but dropped Shawn on the way to the shoulders). The spear is countered into the Thesz press though and Shawn grabs a chair to knock Edge silly. Another Conchairto is loaded up but here is Randy Orton to hit the RKO and give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. These two getting some time in a violent match is always going to work and that was the case here. It felt like a main event and the two of them beat each other up for about fifteen minutes. The ending makes sense given what they are doing as Edge and Orton want to destroy Shawn, but Orton is going to mess with Edge on the way there if he can.

Post match Orton throws Edge over the top but here are Ric Flair, Kenny Dykstra and Carlito in a row. Shawn comes back up with some Sweet Chin Musics

Overall Rating: D+. The main event was the only worthwhile thing on this show as the Royal Rumble only needs so much of a build. Umaga injuring Cena was a good angle but other than that and the main event, there wasn’t much to see on the whole thing. It isn’t that surprising as the pay per view is set, but it would have been nice to have more than one good match in two hours.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2007
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on the way to the Royal Rumble though you might not know it based on how the last few weeks have gone. Instead, the last few weeks have focused on various celebrities, or at least celebrity impersonators in last week’s case. The actual wrestling stories coming out of last week saw a likely rematch being set up between John Cena and Umaga for the Raw World Title, and Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. That’s a rather nice tradition for the show.

Here is John Cena to get things going and we’ve got a contract signing. Boss Jonathan Coachman brings out Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada and Umaga turns the chair over in a hurry. Coach has an idea to make the match special, so Estrada gets to pick the stipulation. Estrada doesn’t want another fluke win, so we’ll be having a Last Man Standing match.

Since Umaga is, you know, a savage, Estrada signs for him, but Cena says he must be crazy to do this. Well sure why not, so Cena signs and then dives onto Umaga to start the fight. They go to the floor and Cena hits him in the head with the steps. Back in and the FU puts Estrada through the table. Counting the King video and the opening, we are done with this segment about ten minutes into the show. I can absolutely go with that kind of efficiency for a contract signing.

Johnny Nitro/Melina vs. Jeff Hardy/Maria

Maria doing Jeff’s entrance dance is certainly a sight. Nitro bails from the threat of an early Twist of Fate attempt so it’s off to Melina. Maria comes in and bulldogs her out of the corner for two but Nitro trips her from the apron. We hit the reverse chinlock to put Maria down for a change but she counters a backbreaker into a headscissors. It’s off to Nitro so Maria kicks him in the shin, allowing Jeff to hit the Whisper in the Wind. Maria takes Melina outside, leaving Jeff to break up a superplex attempt. The Swanton is good for the pin on Nitro.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but it was a fine way to advance both feuds, even if the men should have wrapped up. Maria isn’t going to be a serious competitor in the ring but at least she can do enough basic stuff to get by in something like this. Let the experienced people get in and do their thing and get out, which is exactly what they did here.

Vince McMahon calls Donald Trump but Trump’s secretary, who doesn’t know who Vince is, says he is having dinner. Vince starts to give out the number but looks at Coach and stops himself. Coach doesn’t seem to buy that Trump is going to call back.

Here is Rated-RKO for a chat but DX’s music interrupts them. The music turns into a flatline sound though, with Randy Orton saying that is what is happening to DX. Tonight they are taking out Shawn Michaels and HHH is already sitting at home recovering from a torn quadricep muscle.

Orton leaves to take care of something backstage while Edge talks about how Shawn’s TV debut took place near here, so him being destroyed makes sense. Edge goes to check on Orton….and they drag out a bloody Jim Duggan. Since Duggan might help Shawn later, we need a demonstration of what Shawn has coming for him. Duggan gets a Conchairto and here are the referees, just a few seconds late of course.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

How many times are these guys going to fight??? Flair takes him into the corner for the chops to start and there’s a headlock takeover. Dykstra fights up and gets in a shot to Flair’s knee, setting up a Figure Four of his own. That’s broken up and Flair chops away before cutting off a charge with an elbow to the face. Flair goes up and actually hits something like a top rope clothesline for two. JR: “I think we just saw a moment!” Dykstra is right back with a rollup but gets caught grabbing the rope. Flair’s rollup with trunks gets two so he tries another and, this time with putting his feet on the ropes, gets the pin.

Rating: C-. And they’re done. Or at least they should be, as this feud has already gone on far too long. Flair took him to school here and got his win back. Now let the whole thing go and move on to anything else, because it wasn’t exactly an interesting feud in the first place. Dykstra is as midcard of a midcard heel as you can get so let’s move on to something else already.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shawn Michaels arrives and is told about what happened to Jim Duggan. That’s not what Shawn wanted but he only has one partner. He’ll do this alone tonight, but Ric Flair comes in to say he’ll fight with Shawn tonight. Shawn shakes his hand but still seems nervous.

Vince McMahon is still waiting on Donald Trump’s call but Coach suggests it might be Vince’s batteries. Vince: “There is nothing wrong with my batteries.” Coach asks Vince what the big deal is and Vince pulls out a letter that Trump sent him last week. The letter talks about how Trump is a big WWE fan but he didn’t like the Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell match last week. Trump will be watching this week and wants something better. Oh and watch the Apprentice on Sunday nights. Coach is a fan, but Vince would rather talk about the compelling television you are about to see.

Wrestlemania is coming in 76 days.

Here is Vince McMahon to give us compelling television and I’m as scared as you are. He knows Donald Trump wants compelling television so let’s look at Rosie vs. Trump from last week. Hold on though as we need to see it in SLOW MOTION. Vince sees a difference between himself and Trump: instead of asking the audience what they want and then giving it to them like Trump, Vince decides what his fans wants and then gives it to them (How in the world is that not a FAR more quoted line?).

Vince moves on to the Miss USA controversy, as she did something that meant she should lose her crown. It turns out that Miss USA is here tonight, so here is Torrie Wilson in a gown. Torrie reluctantly says she has been a bad girl and asks how she can make it up to Vince, America’s Favorite Billionaire.

Cue an angry Carlito to interrupt and say that Vince is not cool. Trump vs. Rosie sucked and this is brutal. Trump was right: Vince doesn’t know what people want and the fans want to see people fight. Vince likes that idea and is ready to go right now…but let’s have Great Khali do it instead. Carlito gets in a few shots until a big chop and the double chokeslam leave him laying. Vince: “Now that? That’s cool.”

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Victoria

Mickie is defending so Victoria pulls her down by the hair. That’s fine enough as Mickie jumps over her in the corner and does the same thing. Mickie gets draped over the top rope so Mickie can throw in a few spanks. That earns Mickie a trip to the floor and a baseball slide takes her out in a hurry. Back in and Victoria tosses her around by the hair and then stands on it for a bonus. Mickie cradles her for two so Victoria pulls on her leg. That’s broken up but the MickieDT is countered into the swinging side slam. Mickie is sick of this and hits a spinning kick to the face to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly their best work as it felt sluggish to go with all of the botches. These two are capable of having a good match because they have the chemistry together, but it just wasn’t clicking this time. This should end the feud, as Mickie can move on to Melina while Victoria can continue to be more talented than most of the women featured on the show.

We recap the contract signing.

Royal Rumble rundown….now with 25 names already entered into the Rumble. There is something to be said for the “throw everyone in at once” method.

Here is Chris Masters for a chat. He is ready for the Royal Rumble and the winner is standing before you. Masters pulls out a note while talking about how no one can break the Masterlock. The note is a signed document from Vince McMahon himself, which says that since JBL interfered in Iraq, the Masterlock has NEVER been broken.

The Masterlock Challenge is on again so here is Ron Simmons of all people to accept. Masters immediately starts backing off but Simmons shoves him down. The hold goes on and, after the usual escape tease….Super Crazy of all people comes in to jump Masters. Simmons watches as Crazy lays Masters out, meaning it’s catchphrase time.

Wrestlemania Recall: Rob Van Dam wins Money in the Bank.

JR confirms that Simmons did NOT break the Masterlock, due to Crazy’s interference.

Ric Flair has been attacked and laid out. Again. What is that, three times since Rated-RKO formed?

JTG vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shad Gaspard and Charlie Haas are here too. Shelton breaks up an early headscissors to start by hitting a shoulder breaker out of the corner. A hammerlock stays on the arm and Shelton sends it hard into the buckle. The referee has to yell at Shad as JTG fights back, only to get kicked in the face. Shad uses the distraction to unhook a turnbuckle pad so Haas complains, allowing Shad to break up a powerbomb attempt to give JTG the pin.

Ric Flair is on his way to the hospital so Shawn Michaels is rather upset. He superkicks Todd Grisham to blow off some steam.

We get a video with HHH talking about his quad injury and surgery. This goes on for a good while.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO

Non-title. Before the match, Rated-RKO mocks DX’s intro and has security confiscate all of the DX signs. Shawn charges in and starts fast by sending both of them out to the floor. We settle down to Edge getting chopped in the corner until he rakes the eyes to escape. Orton comes in and gets hammered down in a hurry. Shawn is sent outside though and Edge blasts him with a running clothesline.

Back in and Edge hammers Shawn down without much effort to bust him open. Orton’s backbreaker lets Edge hammer away even more until we take a break. It’s back to Orton to get in some right hands of his own but Shawn flips over in the corner and nails a clothesline. Edge comes back in and spears Orton by mistake and Shawn has a chance.

The comeback is on with the forearm into the nipup into the atomic drop. Shawn’s top rope elbow connects but he can’t follow up right away. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Shawn has to jump Orton as he comes back in. Edge hits the spear and now it’s time for the chairs so the referee throws it out.

Rating: C. This worked out about as well as it could have as there was only so much that could be done here. Shawn can’t beat the champs on his own but you don’t want them beating Shawn because he has no partner and no real place to go if he loses. It wasn’t a bad match at all, but it was much more about finding a way out than anything else.

Post match the Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn nips it up into Edge’s face which is only slightly better than I remember seeing it live. Shawn fights back and finds the sledgehammer to knock Orton out. A Conchairto is loaded up and Orton is crushed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m glad they have named most of the Royal Rumble entrants but the rest of the show was barely worth seeing. The contract signing worked, but it was one of those shows where it felt like they didn’t have much to do and jumped through the two hours as quickly as they could. While it isn’t a terrible show, it’s a totally skippable one (especially the Trump/Vince stuff), which tends to be the case until we get to the Rumble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Main Event
Date: June 10, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick

Things continue their up and down ways around here and I’m running out of ways to say I’m not sure what to expect. That is quite the change of pace after spending so many years talking about how I was out of ways to say that things were too repetitive around here. That means….I have no idea actually. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Angel Garza vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali takes him down by the arm to start and slaps on a headlock to annoy Garza even more. Back up and Garza knocks him into the corner, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Ali two though and we’re already in the chinlock. Garza fights back up with a kick to the face into a flapjack for two of his own. Ali tries to get up but dives into a right hand to the face for another near fall but it’s too early for a running knee in the corner. A hard posting knocks Garza silly and the Koji Clutch finishes him off at 4:52.

Rating: C. It was energetic while it lasted and it continues to be nice to see Ali getting somewhere. Ali needs to do something on a bigger show but for some reason he is stuck here. Ricochet getting some time on Raw is encouraging but I’m still not sold on that being the case again so soon. Garza is right there with him, making this all the more puzzling.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to get things going. Reigns talks about being direct in how he is feeling, because he wasn’t happy last week. He has had the counsel of a wise man and a week to chew on it though and now he has changed his mind on the Usos getting a Tag Team Title shot tonight.

Reigns may be the centerpiece but he is also a giver. Let’s get the Usos out here right now (Heyman: “USOS’ MUSIC RIGHT NOW!”) because we need to talk about this. Jey is cool with Reigns and Jimmy says it’s time to become the seven time champs. Reigns says bring him the titles when it’s over and drops the mic. The Usos seem cool with that.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoulders Dominik to start but it’s a dropkick into an armbar to put Jimmy down. Rey comes in and gets powerbombed onto Jimmy for two as Cole says the Usos have somehow never had a match against Rey Mysterio of any kind (I love little trivia like that). It’s off to Jey for a backbreaker, setting up an assisted hot shot for two. Jey gets in a cheap shot from the floor and drops Rey onto the apron to bang up his back.

Back in and Rey manages to send Jey over the ropes to the floor but a suicide dive is countered into a Samoan drop onto the announcers’ table (OW). We take a break and come back with Rey still in trouble, including Jey grabbing a reverse chinlock. Jey hands it off to Jimmy but Rey sends them into each other in the corner. The tag brings Dominik back in to dive onto both Usos at once. Back in and a neckbreaker drops Jey but Jimmy catches him with a kick to the ribs.

A run up the corner sets up a tornado DDT for two on Jimmy as everything breaks down. Rey hits a running seated senton to take Jey down on the floor but walks into a superkick from Jimmy. Back in and Jimmy hits Dominik with one as well but Dominik grabs a rollup to retain at 14:25, thought he replay shows that the shoulder was up at two (with commentary pointing it out several times).

Rating: C. The ending didn’t help things but the rest of this worked out well enough. What matters here is the finish though, as that is going to give Reigns a reason to yell at them. A pay per view rematch wouldn’t surprise me but I can’t imagine that this is done anytime soon. The Usos seem destined to get the titles eventually, and that is probably best for everyone.

Roman Reigns tells Paul Heyman to bring them to him.

From Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging and Jimmy takes Dominik down for three straight near falls. It’s off to Jey, who hits a belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker to send Dominik outside. Jey’s dive takes Dominik out again and we take a break. Back with Jey hammering away on Dominik but getting rolled into the corner for his efforts. Rey, in a shirt for an odd look, comes in and hits the springboard spinning crossbody for two on Jimmy. A hurricanrana takes Jimmy down and there’s the sliding splash to crush him on the floor. Back in and the 619 connects and Dominik goes up….but Roman Reigns comes in for the DQ at 8:12.

Rating: C. The ending surprised me but it is cool to see Reigns getting to wreck people. There is a good chance that they do this a third time at the pay per view, which would be a good enough way to have the Usos take the titles. Either way, Reigns continues to be excellent and that is all you need around here for the most part.

Post match Reigns cleans house and yells at Jimmy for embarrassing the family twice. Reigns destroys both Mysterios with stair shots before throwing Rey over the barricade. Dominik gets choked out and Jimmy says that’s enough. Roman finally lets go as Jimmy says it doesn’t need to be like this. Jimmy walks off and calls Jey to come with him. Hold on though as Reigns gets in Jey’s face, leaving Jey confused. Reigns isn’t done with Dominik though as he hammers away and nails a big powerbomb to end the show. Rey vs. Reigns could work for the pay per view title match.

Video on Drew McIntyre beating Kofi Kingston in a heck of a match to become the new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley.

From Raw.

It’s time for the contract signing for the title match. Well in theory at least, as there is no Lashley. McIntyre talks about how he isn’t waiting because he knows how this is going to go. Yeah he has had a bunch of title shots (er, championship opportunities) and they remind him of a story from when he was a kid. He remembers the story of a Scottish King called Robert the Bruce who was once stuck in a cave for three months.

There was a spider on the roof of the cage and it never could put together a web. Finally he made it work and that inspired Bruce to go to battle one more time and he won Scotland’s freedom. There is a famous quote that Bruce said before the battle, and McIntyre is going to paraphrase it: “If at first you don’t succeed, beat Lashley’s a** at Hell in a Cell and get your championship back!”. McIntyre goes to sign but here are MVP, Lashley and the women to interrupt.

MVP asks what Lashley’s reward will be for not interfering last week. Maybe this should be McIntyre’s FINAL shot at the title, with McIntyre immediately accepting. However, he has something he wants to: no interference, no excuses, and inside the Cell. McIntyre signs and Lashley talks about how the real ending to the story is McIntyre tucking his kilt in shame and walking away.

Lashley signs as well so McIntyre talks about falling off the Cell before and being willing to go and do it again to win his title back. Everything seems to be set….so McIntyre whips out a sword and breaks the table. Well that escalated quickly. What didn’t happen quickly was the start of this segment, because NOTHING on this show can happen without five plus minutes of talking first.

Hell in a Cell rundown.

Jinder Mahal vs. Shelton Benjamin

Mahal has Veer and Shanky with him. Benjamin takes him into the corner for a clean break to start and then does it again for a bonus. With that not working, Shelton wrestles him down and then lifts him up by the waist a few times in a row. A clothesline puts Mahal on the floor, followed by the slingshot dive.

Benjamin gets sent hard into the steps though and we take a break. Back with Mahal working on a chinlock and sending Benjamin hard into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but this time Benjamin fights up with a suplex. Shanky offers a distraction though and it’s the Khallas to finish Benjamin at 10:30.

Rating: D+. And this is the Mahal that fans have been worried about seeing again. This was another boring match with Mahal’s big move being the Shanky distraction to set up the cobra clutch slam. I would really hope that he could figure out how to do something else during his long layoff, yet here we are for whatever reason. Lucky us indeed.

We look at Alexa Bliss and Lily tormenting Shayna Baszler.

The Eva-Lution is coming.

From Raw.

And now, Alexa’s Playground to wrap it up. Bliss talks about how she and Lily could make a new friend tonight but here is Shayna Baszler to interrupt in a hurry. She blames Bliss for everything that has been going wrong as of late, including Reginald’s “accidents”. Baszler can make it all better by apologizing to Lily, but that isn’t happening because it’s just a doll. That’s too far for Bliss, who jumps Baszler to start the fight.

Baszler sends her outside and, with an extreme closeup of the shoe, stomps on Lily’s head. Bliss freaks out and the video screens go all wacky. Then fire starts shooting out of the posts and Baszler freaks out and runs to the back. We go into horror movie mode with Baszler running through the back and saying it’s just a stupid doll. She hides in a locker room but sees Lily in the mirror. Baszler screams a lot and breaks the mirror as the lights go out to end the show.

I’m not going to bother telling you that this is dumb because you already know that. Shayna Baszler, probably the most successful woman in NXT history, is now in a bad horror movie because Alexa Bliss’ evil doll doesn’t like being called stupid. This was another good example of WWE trying to be WAY too smart for their own good and having a horrible ten minutes as a result, but in their minds this is probably gold. You knew it was coming and then it was even worse than expected, which is WWE in a nutshell these days. Absolutely awful, again.

Overall Rating: C-. The fact that Roman Reigns was good enough to make me get around the idea of Shayna Baszler being tormented by an evil doll should tell you where he is at the moment. That is about as high of a level of praise as you are going to be able to get and it worked here. The rest of the show was the usual Main Event mixture of hit and miss, but that Shayna/Lily stuff needs to go far, far away. Ali can’t make Raw but that can, and that should tell you a lot about where the show is these days.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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New Year’s Revolution 2007
Date: January 7, 2007
Location: Kemper Memorial Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first pay per view of the year with Raw running the annual early January show. This time around we have a double main event of John Cena defending the Raw World Title against the undefeated Umaga and a pretty big grudge match between D-Generation X and Rated-RKO, winner gets the exclusive hyphen rights. Let’s get to it.

The cage is lowered for the opening.

Opening sequence, featuring a look at the double main event and nothing else. That is probably a good idea.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

In a cage and Nitro, with Melina, is challenging. Nitro starts fast by hammering him around the ring early on and Hardy gets pounded down in the corner. Hardy is back with some right hands but a belly to back faceplant puts him down again. The Flying Chuck gets two on Hardy, who scores with the flying clothesline/half Sling Blade. The mule kick drops Nitro again but a Stunner over the top rope cuts Hardy off. Nitro drives him into the cage (first time it has been used so far) but Jeff is right back to cut off a climb attempt.

A dropkick sends Nitro back first into the cage and they both crash down. Hardy can’t get out yet, despite a heck of a jump to the top of the cage. Nitro belly to back superplexes him right back down but Hardy is back with a catapult into the cage. They both go up to the top and it’s a super Russian legsweep to bring them both back down. Hardy goes up so Nitro climbs onto him for the save, setting up a sunset bomb for another double knockdown. Nitro is up first and tries to climb out so Hardy pulls him…not down as Nitro has his legs tied in the cage, meaning Jeff crashes hard.

Since that is rather painful, Nitro comes back down and Jeff reaches for the cage, only to have Melina whip the wall with her belt. A missile dropkick puts Hardy down again but he counters a high crossbody into….something, but it puts them both down. It’s Nitro up first but Hardy pulls him over the top, only to have a super Twist of Fate broken up. Nitro starts climbing out as Hardy goes for the door, meaning Nitro climbs around to the door to stop him instead of, you know, jumping down. Melina blocks the door as a bonus, so Hardy kicks it open, crotching Nitro on the top in the process, and retains.

Rating: B-. This was built around the idea of two people going up and then crashing back down a lot, which is where Hardy excels. The ending was clever too so it was a pretty good way to go about the title match. It’s a smart choice for an opener as anyone can get into the idea of a cage match, especially between some people as talented as these two.

Rated-RKO can’t believe that they are being asked about how their issues with DX became personal. They have busted DX open and now they are fighting for their futures. Tonight, they’re finishing DX.

Tag Team Turmoil

Bonus match for the #1 contendership. The Highlanders are in at #1 and Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin are in at #2 to get things going. Rory and Haas start things off with neither getting very far, meaning it’s off to Robbie instead. Haas gets taken into the corner but Rory misses a charge in the corner, allowing the villains to take over. Benjamin gets to hit the jumping dive onto Rory’s back and Haas adds a slam onto the back for two.

The chinlock goes on but Shelton’s legs go off on a slam, allowing Rory to fall on top for two. Robbie comes in and gets to clean some house, including a belly to back suplex to Haas. Benjamin rakes Robbie’s eyes on top though and a top rope superplex is good for the pin. Jim Duggan/Super Crazy is in at #3 (much to commentary’s shock) with Duggan hammering and clotheslining Benjamin.

A running knee lift takes Duggan back down and the beating is on in the corner. Duggan hits the three point clothesline for a breather though and the hot tag brings in Crazy to pick up the pace. Crazy hits a basement dropkick on Haas but Benjamin hits a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Haas to grab a bridging German suplex for the pin. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch are in at #4 with Cade slamming Benjamin in a hurry.

An atomic drop sets up Murdoch’s big boot and the neck crank goes on. A neckbreaker finally gets Benjamin out of trouble and it’s back to Haas to (barely) pick up the pace. Haas flapjacks Murdoch to set up the Haas of Pain (an underrated hold) but Cade breaks it up, allowing Murdoch to steal the pin. Cryme Tyme is in at #5 as JR tries to figure out if there are any more teams left on the Raw roster. Given that we had one new team thrown in, that means the division is four teams, plus the champs who are barely involved with the rest of the teams.

Shad hammers Cade down to start but JTG dances a bit too long, allowing Murdoch to come back in. Commentary confirms that these are the last two teams and Murdoch elbows JTG down. Some choking with the tag rope keeps JTG in trouble but Murdoch dives into a raised boot. Cade breaks up the hot tag though because this match needs to keep going. JTG finally slides out of a double suplex though and it’s the hot tag to Shad so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and the G9 hits Cade to give Shad the pin.

Rating: D. This was long, not very interesting and showed how lame the tag division is at the moment. Cryme Tyme was the only option to win here and it could be a good Tag Team Title match, but this really did not need to go almost twenty minutes. Pretty bad match here, but much more boring than bad, which is even worse.

Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman are in the back with Vince complaining about how much Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump have been yelling at each other as of late. Coach thinks it sounds like something coming out of the WWE. Vince: “It sounds like something coming out of the WWE.” Therefore, we need to resolve it with physical abuse, meaning we can have a match between the two of them on Raw. Oh here we go. Coach is also glad that Vince has taken back YOU’RE FIRED and goes on about it so long that Vince leaves. Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra comes out in a Flair style robe. Before the match, he talks about knowing that Flair got hit with a Conchairto on Raw but just because Flair saying that he is “still recovering” is no excuse to not come out here and take his beating. Cue Flair in the pink robe and we’re ready to go. Commentary talks about how much Flair had accomplished by the time Kenny was born (four World Titles) as Dykstra hits the strut to start. A dropkick puts Flair down for an early two and there’s a fist drop to keep him in trouble.

Flair is right back with the chops and shots to the face, including a big chop to put Kenny on the floor. That’s too much waiting for Flair so he follows Kenny out, only to get suplexed for a hard landing. Back in and another suplex gives Kenny two, followed by a strutting elbow for the same. Kenny grabs a Boston crab to draw some screaming but Flair (very) eventually makes the rope.

Flair chops his way out of the corner but Kenny knocks him right back down. Kenny’s Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Flair unloads in the corner. For some reason Flair goes up top but gets slammed back down. A poke to the eye gives Flair a breather though and it’s time for some chop blocks. There’s a knee to the head and a step between the legs, setting up the Figure Four. Flair even gets in some slaps but Kenny finally makes the rope. They slug it out in the corner until Kenny gets in a quick low blow, setting up the small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like the previous match, this wasn’t the most interesting match because Dykstra isn’t exactly thrilling to see most of the time. They’re playing up the idea that Flair doesn’t have it anymore, but the head injury wasn’t a factor and it was mainly Flair getting beaten up for ten minutes. I’ll give them points for trying with Kenny though, as they could use some fresh talent.

Melina checks on Johnny Nitro in the trainer’s room. Nitro says to call Joey Mercury because the Hardys are going to pay for what they did. Melina goes to make the call but runs into Victoria, who says Melina is the one Diva missing from her list. That’s because they can be a team who can take over the women’s division. If Melina helps her win the Women’s Title tonight, Melina can have the first title shot.

We recap Victoria’s hit list, setting up her title shot tonight.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Mickie James

Victoria is challenging and shoves Mickie down without much effort to start. Something like a Muta Lock has Mickie in trouble and Victoria shows off a bit by backflipping onto her feet. Mickie is back up with some armdrags into a dropkick for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up. Instead Victoria kicks her to the floor for a drop onto the apron. Back in and a hair toss gives Victoria two but she misses a moonsault.

Mickie slugs away for two and grabs a hurricanrana out of the corner. Cue Melina to check on Victoria so Mickie hits her in the face. The MickieDT is broken up by a Melina distraction. Cue Maria and Candice Michelle to take care of Melina as Mickie reverses the Widow’s Peak into a sunset flip for two. Mickie counters a slam into a tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was kind of a mess and the ending didn’t make it much better. The problem here was that there wasn’t much of a reason to believe that Victoria was winning the title, even though she pinned Mickie a few weeks ago. Then you throw in the interference, which was hardly interesting either. Not terrible, but this show is needing a big pick up and this wasn’t it.

Post match Mickie, Candice, Maria and Lilian Garcia (who Victoria went after as well) celebrate.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X, which somehow is focused almost entirely on Ric Flair. Rated-RKO took Flair out and since DX are basically Flair’s kids, it’s time for some revenge. DX got beaten down as well though, even if that doesn’t make it quite as personal as the Flair stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X

Rated-RKO is defending. Before the match, HHH uses his weird frosted cereal analogy and it still doesn’t quite work. The brawl starts in the aisle, as it should have in a feud this violent. HHH backdrops Edge onto the ramp and throws him inside for the bell and some right hands from Shawn. It’s already off to HHH to stomp away and sends Edge face first into the corner but Shawn misses a charge into the post. Orton gets to come in and hammer away in the corner, only to get snapmared down for a stomp to the face.

There’s an elbow on the apron from HHH and a legdrop from Shawn as the beating continues. Orton is a bit cut open so DX takes turns hammering away at the head. Edge’s cheap shot from the apron cuts HHH off though and the champs take over for the first time. HHH’s leg is wrapped around the post but he kicks a Figure Four attempt away to send Edge shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house and there’s the big dive to the floor to take out Edge and Orton.

They head back in, with Edge spearing Shawn off the apron and back to the floor. Orton gets in a belt shot to Shawn to bust him open as well (and much worse than Orton) and Edge is right there to hammer on the cut. Back in and Orton hits the rapid fire circle stomp for two and it’s off to Edge again for more right hands to the head. Orton forearms away at the back and strikes a pose, followed by some raking of the eyes. The double arm crank goes on but Shawn fights up for a suplex.

Edge hits a big boot though and it’s Orton coming back in to load up the RKO. Since that takes the better part of ever, Shawn shoves it away and it’s a double tag to bring in Edge and HHH. House is cleaned and there’s a facebuster into a clothesline to send Edge outside. The spinebuster hits Orton….and HHH has torn his quad again (meaning he’ll be gone until Summerslam). He is still able to hit (most of) a spinebuster on Edge for two but Orton hits an RKO (or as close as HHH can get to taking one).

Shawn superkicks Orton down and Edge covers HHH for two. Back up the spear hits corner, allowing HHH to hit a better than expected Pedigree. That seems to be all he had left though as he can’t really cover, with Orton making a save. Shawn sends Orton outside for a dive and hits the referee, followed by a pair of nasty chair shots. HHH gets a chair of his own as Orton is WAY busted open. DX unloads with chair shots and stands tall as the match is thrown out.

Rating: B. HHH managing to fight through the ending alone is worth a bonus as that is one of the more impressive things I’ve seen in a good bit. It was a good match leading up to the injury and then they kept it moving even after that. With the ending being the perfect way to keep things going and get out of a bad situation. HHH was impressive here but it’s a shame that he is going to be gone for so long.

Post match (Maybe?) it’s a Pedigree to put Edge onto (not through) the announcers’ table and Shawn’s elbow puts Orton through another announcers’ table.

John Cena is told that it is clear Umaga wants some, but will he get some. Cena does his movie trailer/hype man impression and manages to mock Umaga’s lack of English at the same time. Thankfully Cena gets serious and admits that he is up against a monster who has not been pinned or made to submit. He isn’t going to give up though because he is proud to call himself the WWE Champion. Umaga is undefeated but nothing lasts forever and nothing is stopping him from leaving as WWE Champion.

Orton’s blood is EVERYWHERE, with a pool of it laying on the floor.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito. Masters bails into the corner to start so Carlito takes him down and hammers away with left hands. A backdrop gets Masters out of trouble but Carlito is right back with a shot to the face. The double springboard moonsault gives Carlito two but Masters throws him down with one arm. A backbreaker into a clothesline gets two on Carlito and Masters asks if he is trying to impress Torrie. Back up and Carlito hits a knee lift into a flapjack for two so Masters tries the Masterlock. That’s blocked as well but the counter is countered into a cradle (with trunks) to give Masters the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and that is not what the show needed. Masters and Carlito are not the most interesting people in the first place and now we get to see them having a pay per view match in the cool down spot. That isn’t exactly thrilling and I was hoping that they would get on with it already.

Post match Masters knocks Carlito out with the Masterlock.

We recap Umaga vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Umaga is an undefeated monster so he is getting a title shot. Before we get there, Umaga beat Cena up a few times but Cena isn’t backing down.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga is challenging and has Armando Alejandro Estrada in his corner. We’re ready to go after the Big Match Intros with Cena sticking and moving to start. A missed charge to the floor does a bit more damage but Cena goes after him again and gets tossed outside. Back in and Cena gets up an elbow and boot in the corner, earning himself a hard clothesline. Cena hammers away with right hands but gets taken down with a Samoan drop.

Umaga knocks him face first into the announcers’ table and then the barricade for a bonus. Back in and Cena can’t sunset flip or slam him, with Umaga falling on top for two on the latter. A legdrop gets two but Umaga misses a charge, allowing Cena to go up. The high crossbody is countered into the swinging release Rock Bottom for two as Umaga keeps the pace slow. Umaga sits down on Cena’s chest as JR compares him to Yokozuna. Another cannonball lands on raised knees but Umaga sends him outside without much effort.

The nerve holds keeps Cena in trouble and an elbow to the face drops him again. The middle rope Samoan Spike only hits mat though and Cena wins the slugout. Cena sends him head first into the post and the ProtoBomb drops Umaga again. Umaga is back with the belly to belly and hangs Cena in the Tree of Woe for the flying headbutt. The running Umaga Attack hits boots though and Cena grabs a rollup out of nowhere to retain the title.

Rating: B-. I really liked the finish here as it felt like the most out of nowhere finish they could have had. That’s also the smartest finish they could have had, as it would have been a bit waste to have Umaga go down to the FU. Umaga completely dominated here but got caught instead of getting beaten. That’s a perfect way to set up a rematch and I’d be down for another one. What they did worked well, even if it wasn’t a great match on the way there.

Post match Cena celebrates as Umaga breaks a lot of stuff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The two major matches helped a lot but this was one of the most lifeless shows that I have seen in a very long time. It just wasn’t a very entertaining show with most of the matches being more boring than bad. There wasn’t much on here that felt pay per view worthy and while the two big matches worked, they didn’t work enough to make up for the rest of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 15,169
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first show of the year, along with being the go home show for New Year’s Revolution. That means things are going to pick up in a hurry, so we’ll start with….the Kevin Federline match. The best thing we can hope for here is that it is over in a hurry so we can move on to anything else, as the fifteen minutes have to be long past up. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena vs. Kevin Federline. He has been a good celebrity but egads it feels bottom of the barrel.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Kevin Federline

Non-title and they aren’t wasting time with this one. Federline comes out in a boxing robe and announces that Jonathan Coachman has made this No DQ. Therefore, here is Johnny Nitro to be in Federline’s corner, which does make sense. Nitro gives Federline his mouthpiece but hang on again as Federline has to put on his gloves. Hang on again as Federline needs some headgear and NOW we’re ready to go.

Federline’s headlock is broken as quickly as you would expect so there go the gloves. Hang on again though as Federline has an idea: let’s make this a Masterlock Challenge! Cena has a seat in the chair but Federline changes his mind. Instead it’s a test of strength….with Federline pulling him into a cross armbreaker of all things. That’s countered into a powerbomb but Nitro comes in, allowing Federline to hit a low blow. Cue Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada to beat Cena down, including a belt shot, to give Federline the cocky pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was completely fine and nothing unexpected. Federline did a bunch of the classic hits here and that is all it needed to be. This was MUCH better than having Federline try to work a match and it added some heat to Sunday’s title match. There was no need to try anything more complicated and this could have been much, much worse.

Post break, Maria tries to talk to Federline but Melina isn’t having any of that. Melina isn’t having any of that because Maria called him K-Fed. Instead they can have a match later, but Melina gives her a slap for a preview.

DX talks strategy in the back, I’m guessing for a chess tournament.

We go to Kevin Federline’s celebration, complete with Johnny Nitro, Melina and a bunch of women. Coach comes in to make a four on one handicap match with John Cena facing Armando Alejandro Estrada, Umaga, Nitro and….Coach himself. Of note: Coach reminds us that Nitro has an Intercontinental Title shot at the pay per view, which has been mostly forgotten since the match was announced.

Some members of the Miami Heat, including Shaquille O’Neal, are here.

Cryme Tyme/Highlanders vs. Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cryme Tyme says hi to Shaq during the entrances. Cade charges into Rory’s elbow in the corner to start so JTG comes in to dance around a bit. That earns him a kick to the ribs and Haas comes in for a butterfly suplex. Benjamin and Murdoch don’t seem to be on the same page so Cade drops a leg instead. A missed middle rope elbow gives JTG a breather and the hot tag brings in Shad to slug away. Shad’s belly to back suplex gets two and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker sends Murdoch into the ropes with JTG snapping the back of his neck over the top for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Cryme Tyme getting another pin is a good idea. Above all else, the tag team division needs some fresh teams and Cryme Tyme has been built up rather well. The rest of the teams are just kind of there, though Haas and Benjamin should take all of eighteen seconds to reheat if needed.

Wrestlemania Recall: the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Conway

Non-title. Before the match, Conway says that he is sick of losing around here and if he loses again, he’s done with Raw. Conway then loses in about 20 seconds to a sunset flip in his last televised match in WWE.

Post match Conway is still in the ring and here is Vince McMahon for a chat. Vince talks about how many people break their New Year’s resolution, just like Conway already did. He isn’t breaking his though, which includes not being nice and letting people take advantage of him. That means he isn’t going to be like his good friend Donald Trump, who is having trouble with Rosie O’Donnell, who he refers to as Yokozuna. Speaking of Trump, Vince doesn’t like him stealing his catchphrase, so Conway is FIRED.

Kenny Dykstra says Ric Flair offering a handshake wasn’t about Flair, but about himself. They say deaths come in threes, but tonight he’s going to make it four: James Brown, Gerald Ford, Saddaam Hussein and Ric Flair’s career.

We look at Rated-RKO attacking Ric Flair a few weeks ago, leading to DX wanting revenge. Then Rated-RKO destroyed DX on the last Raw of the year.

Here is DX for a chat and they seem rather chipper despite being taken out two weeks ago. Shawn says he can’t pretend what he just saw didn’t happen but they are out of competition. They have beaten a bunch of people who are either gone or jerking the curtain somewhere else. Now they have Rated-RKO show up and finally you have two guys who have a set. Then they took out Ric Flair and beat him within an inch of his life. They one upped themselves by laying out DX, which is someone no one has ever done before.

That’s why the violence is coming at New Year’s Revolution. HHH says Rated-RKO thinks they have them in the palm of their hands, but remember when Vince McMahon thought that? It’s because DX is like…..Frosted Mini Wheats? They have two sides: the sweet and sugary side (Shawn: “I like the sugary side!”) and the other side, who is going to make Rated-RKO bleed. This was some weird mix of goofy and serious and it only kind of worked.

Melina vs. Maria

Melina is in workout gear for some reason and Victoria comes out for commentary. Maria knocks her into the corner to start and hammers away as the catfight is on. Victoria rants on the lack of spots because of people like Mickie James as Melina snaps Maria’s neck across the top. Maria gets a boot up in the corner and hammers away as Victoria wants her to just go back to the beach already. A rollup goes badly for Melina so she stacks Maria up (with nothing in between) for the pin.

Post match Victoria goes after Lilian Garcia but Mickie James runs out for the save.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, set to a Goo Goo Dolls song.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra/Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with the good ones. JR: “Now Kenny has a last name. And a hometown!” Masters tags Kenny in rather than facing Carlito (the hair is frightening) but comes in after Kenny takes him down. It’s quickly off to Flair for a chop block to Masters but Kenny breaks up the Figure Four in a hurry. We take a break and come back with Masters taking Carlito into the corner and Kenny grabbing the chinlock. It’s back to Masters for some chops in the corner and a chinlock of his own.

There’s a gorilla press for two but Carlito is back up with a springboard elbow to the face. Kenny is smart enough to go outside and knock Flair off the apron, leaving Carlito to get Masterlocked. Flair comes back in for the save as everything breaks down. The hot tag brings Flair back in to chop away but Masters clotheslines him down. Carlito and Masters fight to the floor as Kenny sends Flair into the buckle and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here, though the ending didn’t exactly do much for anyone. Above all else, it continues the Kenny push and it is only working so well. The fact that JR is mocking him for getting a last name and a hometown should tell you everything there is to know about his development. Kenny needed to go away for a long time to get rid of the Spirit Squad aura, but this isn’t a complete disaster yet.

Post match Flair says this isn’t over but here is Rated-RKO to take Flair out, including another Conchairto. I’m guessing DX stepped out for stroganoff. Flair is checked on, and after a break, he is still being checked on.

New Year’s Revolution rundown, including Kenny vs. Flair and Carlito vs. Masters.

Here’s Kevin Federline to say he told us so. He shocked the world earlier and it was so fun that he is going to have a seat at ringside. John Cena can’t see him.

John Cena vs. Armando Alejandro Estrada/Umaga/Jonathan Coachman/Johnny Nitro

Kevin Federline is on commentary. Cena charges in to slug it out with Umaga and low bridges the monster to the floor. Nitro comes in to hammer away but gets release fisherman’s suplexed. Umaga is back in for a Samoan drop and Coach gets in a few shots. That triggers the comeback so Cena cleans house, including getting Umaga in the STFU. Estrada brings in a chair but Cena takes it away and hits Umaga in the head for the DQ.

Post match Cena cleans house and grabs Federline for the FU. A lot of posing and staring ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not much of a show here, but it felt like they were scrambling to get through the show while also focusing on the Federline stuff (which went shockingly well). New Year’s Revolution feels like something that is just there too, with stuff like the Intercontinental Title match barely being mentioned. Cena vs. Umaga and DX vs. Rated-RKO should be enough to carry the show, but it wasn’t exactly a great commercial for the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s Memorial Day, meaning we might be in for a huge show or it might be one that has absolutely nothing because no one is going to be watching. The main event is Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston to crown a new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley, though that was the case last week as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get the annual Memorial Day video.

Jimmy Smith is introduced as the newest member of the broadcast team and we run down the card.

It’s time for MizTV, featuring the return of the un-undead Miz. After the usual intro, Miz talks about how he was hurt in THAT match….but he isn’t sure why John Morrison has garlic around his neck. Morrison says he isn’t going to take any chances with Miz, so he also has his Drip Stick, which is a hand held liquid spraying cannon. Miz: “I love you.” Anyway, Miz knows that it is time to start giving back to superstars, like his first guest this week: Charlotte. After asking about the garlic, Charlotte says that Rhea Ripley has had her time and it’s time to get rid of her.

Cue Ripley, who tells Charlotte to go to h***. Morrison asks her favorite garlic bread recipe to ensure that she is not a vampire but Ripley gets to the point, promising to retain the title against Charlotte. Miz brings up Ripley not being able to beat Nikki Cross in two minutes last week.

Cue Nikki Cross, with Ripley saying she would have won if she had four minutes, but Charlotte says she could do it in one. Cross slaps her and the challenge is accepted. Ripley sounding like a kid with excuses for why she didn’t win and Morrison’s supernatural stuff got annoying in a hurry here and it was all to set up a one minute match after the break? No wonder this show has timing issues.

Charlotte vs. Nikki Cross

Two minute time limit, despite Charlotte saying she could do it in one. Charlotte is sent outside to start and Nikki switches places with her to burn off some time. The chase is on, with Cross hiding behind Rhea Ripley on the floor. Back in and Charlotte hits a knee to the ribs with thirty seconds left. Cross hits a tornado DDT and time expires at 2:00.

Riddle and Damian Priest are ready to go back on the road so Riddle asks him for some Spanish lessons. Randy Orton pops up (Has he always had that mustache?) and, after complaining about the RKO last week (Riddle: “I just kind of hit it out of nowhere.”), says if they’re going to do this tag team, they might as well do it right. Riddle can come be at ringside for Orton vs. Xavier Woods. Riddle gets way too excited so Orton shushes him, prompting Riddle to lock his mouth shut and hand Orton the invisible key. Orton throws it away and leaves, meaning Riddle goes to look for the key. The invisible one.

Randy Orton vs. Xavier Woods

Riddle is here with Orton, who gets chopped into the corner to start. Orton drops him onto the turnbuckle though and they head outside, with Orton slamming Woods face first onto the announcers’ table. A belly to back drop onto the table makes it worse and Riddle is writing notes on his hand because he can’t talk.

We take a break and come back with Orton holding a chinlock but Woods fights up with an enziguri. A discus forearm gives Woods two and he hammers away in the corner. That’s countered into a powerbomb of all things for two but the hanging DDT is broken up. Instead, Woods hits a Codebreaker on the arm and grabs a Fujiwara armbar. Riddle is VERY relieved when Orton makes the rope and now the hanging DDT can connect. Woods grabs a backslide for two but Orton comes back with the Bro Derek for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C. Orton was trying a few different things here and the ending was a cool thing to see. Riddle and Orton continue to be the most entertaining thing on this show, assuming you can ignore the invisible key level of stuff. Woods has been doing rather well on his own as of late, though I’m not sure where this is leading for him.

Post match Riddle poses in front of Orton, who can’t bring himself to do his own pose.

We recap Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald, the latter of whom keeps costing her matches. This is the dumbest thing going in wrestling today.

MVP brings a new group of women to have some fun with Bobby Lashley (in an orange suit).

Reginald tells Nia Jax he has this, despite her being worried.

Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald

Reginald has to flip away from Baszler to start and even manages a slam to put her down. That’s too far for Baszler, who starts in on the leg to put him in trouble. Baszler stomps on the leg and cranks on it a bit, setting up the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Reginald hits a spinning crossbody, setting up a one legged moonsault. Reginald has to land on his feet when Baszler moves, so the Kirifuda Clutch goes on. Then fire comes out of the corner and Reginald rolls her up for the pin at 4:16 (ignore Baszler’s shoulder being off the mat).

Rating: F. So that just happened. The two time and longest reigning NXT Women’s Champion just lost to Reginald, a comedy character who has a job because he used to be in a circus, because an evil doll made fire come out of the post. This is the latest example of me thinking that WWE is actively trying to troll its fans.

Reginald escapes to the back and gets hugged by Nia Jax.

Drew McIntyre isn’t happy with not beating Kofi Kingston last week. He needs to change his way of thinking, to the point where he has put having children on hold to become WWE Champion again. Maybe one day he can have a Little Drew to teach about Scottish folklore, but for now, he is ready. Tonight, he’s ready for Kofi, like he was ready to beat Brock Lesnar, unlike Kofi.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Lucha House Party

During the entrances, Mace and T-Bar promise to make House Party extinct. T-Bar sends Lince Dorado into the corner to start but a quick choke lets Gran Metalik come in with a splash off of Dorado’s shoulders. Mace comes in for a spinwheel kick to the face and a kind of rough looking suplex drops Metalik again. Everything breaks down and Mace plants Dorado on the floor. T-Bar kicks Metalik out of the corner and a double chokeslam is good for the pin at 2:48. To say Mace and T-Bar did not look smooth here would be a huge understatement, as they seemed ready for a major injury on almost every move.

Alexa Bliss invites Reginald to her Playground.

Here is Sheamus for a chat. He talks about how many people have come up short against him, but that is as close to being champion as they are going to get. We see a clip from last week with Sheamus attacking Humberto Carrillo but Ricochet came in for the save. Sheamus calls that SCUMBAGGERY, which is why he hasn’t defended the title since Wrestlemania. He’ll fight both of them back to back though, and then they can go back to catering where they belong.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Non-title. Ricochet starts fast by sending him outside but a dive is countered into a toss into the barricade. Back in and a top rope clothesline turns Ricochet inside out….and here is Humberto Carrillo for a distraction so Ricochet can get the rollup pin at 1:17.

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Non-title and joined in progress with Sheamus stomping away at Carrillo in the corner. Sheamus runs him over with an ax handle to the head and pulls Carrillo off the ropes for a crash back down. Carrillo fights back but walks into the Irish Curse to cut that right off. We hit the reverse chinlock to keep Carrillo in trouble but he’s back up with a few chops.

A shot to the nose busts Sheamus open a bit so he clotheslines Carrillo hard to the floor. Sheamus kicks Ricochet in the face for a bonus but the distraction lets Carrillo hit a suicide dive to send Sheamus into the announcers’ table. Back in and Carrillo’s high crossbody is countered into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Ricochet offers a distraction though and Carrillo gets a rollup for the pin at 4:58.

Rating: C-. One of the first lines from commentary told you everything you need to know about this story: “The impossible has happened. Ricochet has pinned Sheamus.” These matches aren’t about elevating Carrillo and Ricochet, but rather making Sheamus look like he slipped on a banana peel (so we could have our third rollup via distraction of the night). I’m rather glad to see Ricochet and Carrillo getting a chance, but this isn’t doing them any long term good.

Eva Marie talks about taking time away from WWE to learn some more about herself. Now she is back because she knows what it takes to get here. She wants to help others now, and the Eva-Lution is coming.

Corey Graves is nearly moved to tears by Eva Marie. Graves: “No, you’re crying.”

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Lana/Naomi

Natalya and Tamina are on commentary. Lana takes Dana down to start so Naomi can come in for a legdrop. A bulldog drops Dana again but it’s off to Mandy, who gets caught in a fireman’s carry Stunner. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a slingshot corkscrew dive onto Dana. Lana rolls Mandy up for two but gets caught in the corner with a shoulder to the ribs. A fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination finishes Lana at 3:52.

Rating: F. This was bad and I’m not sure how else to describe it. They weren’t hitting their moves, they weren’t timing things well and the selling was awful. Featuring these same teams in matches every week or two isn’t making them better, but rather reminding us of just how bad they really are. Keep in mind that this is all in the name of giving Natalya and Tamina some competition, because the women’s tag team division just has to exist.

Bad Bunny was on a show with Lebron James and discussed his love of wrestling.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Shelton start fast but Cedric pokes him in the eye. The Neuralizer gives Cedric the pin at 28 seconds.

Elias tries to fire Jaxson Ryker up. Elias: “Have you ever been in battle?” Ryker: “Have you ever been in battle? Because I served in Iraq.” End of segment.

Kofi Kingston doesn’t appreciate Drew McIntyre suggesting that having a family could hold back your career. He respects everything Drew has done over his career but he can’t respect that kind of a cheap shot. Tonight, he’s going to beat Drew and then show him how to do what he hasn’t been able to do in three months (Kofi: “Though it feels like three years.”): beat Bobby Lashley.

Tag Team Titles: AJ Styles/Omos vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

Ryker/Elias are challenging with Elias jumping AJ to start. A snap suplex sets up a knee drop to AJ’s head but Ryker tags himself in. AJ manages to send him outside and we take a break. Back with Ryker grabbing a chinlock but getting caught with a Pele for the breather. Ryker goes over for the tag…but Elias drops to the floor. Omos comes in and gets to clean house as Ryker is wrecked. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes for Styles at 9:52.

Rating: D+. And there goes another team, as it seems we might be getting a Ryker face push. Why that would be conceived as a good idea is beyond me, but does it matter at this point? Maybe this is just something for Memorial Day, but the idea of breaking up another team in the already barely alive division seems like a really bad choice.

Nia Jax tells Reginald to be careful with Alexa Bliss. She’ll have the champagne on ice though.

Post break Elias is running from Ryker, who he has has lost it. Ryker is a veteran and an incredible athlete but he is unpredictable. The idea of traveling the roads with him makes Elias sick and he’s done.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Reginald as the guest. Shayna Baszler pops up to beat Reginald down, but Alexa Bliss says Lily doesn’t like her. Baszler says this is becoming a problem and she needs to have a “chat” with Bliss. They can see each other next week. Baszler tells Lily that she is just a stupid doll.

The Viking Raiders give Mansoor some advice. Mustafa Ali comes up to say don’t trust anyone around here. Mansoor asks why he should trust Ali, who says Mansoor is getting it.

Bobby Lashley and MVP are having a good time with the women but get interrupted for some questions. MVP talks about how he doesn’t really care who wins tonight, because neither is taking the title. They can’t be at ringside anyway, so they’re going to have some fun.

Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

The winner gets the title shot against Lashley (who, along with MVP, are barred from ringside) at HIAC. Kingston has a Green Ranger look here, because he can make something like that work. They start fast with Kofi grabbing some rollups for two each, earning himself a chop into the corner. Back up and Kofi manages to knock him outside, setting up a springboard trust fall as we take a break.

We come back with Kofi hammering away in the corner but getting knocked down again. A suplex gives McIntyre two but Kofi grabs a guillotine, which is countered into a suplex which is countered into a small package to give Kingston two. Some running forearms in the corner rock McIntyre but he snaps off a belly to belly suplex.

There’s a second suplex but Kofi counters a right hand into the SOS for two. Drew heads outside so Kofi goes onto the top of the post for the trust fall. That’s pulled out of the air though (because you can do that) and Drew sends him over the barricade as we take a break. Back again with Drew getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and cranking on both arms at once. With that broken up, a frustrated Drew takes him to the top but gets reversed into a powerbomb.

Kofi’s middle rope dropkick connects but Drew gets creative with a swinging Futureshock for two. A spinebuster gives McIntyre two more and a superkick gives Kofi the same. Kofi goes up top but Drew hits the choke throw superplex. The Claymore is cut off by Trouble In Paradise for a very close two as Drew grabs the rope. Kofi sends him to the floor and hits the standing double stomp from the apron. Back in and Kingston goes up again but gets Claymored out of the air for the pin at 22:40.

Rating: B+. I really, really liked this one as you had McIntyre wanting to get back to the title match but Kofi was staying on him every step. You could feel Kofi’s efforts to get back to the main event because it has been a pretty long time. This worked very well as a result and they had a heck of a match with a clean finish to send McIntyre to the pay per view. That needs to be his last title shot, but at least he got there in a very good way.

We get a post match handshake and here are Bobby Lashley and MVP for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If I could, I would split this into two different ratings, with the main event being its own section. That match felt like it was from a totally different company, as it was entertaining, well put together and didn’t have nonsense included. That’s what sets it apart from the rest of the show, which was mostly junk.

The biggest problem on Raw is everything but the wrestling. Between the bad creative, horrible storytelling, badly scripted promos and everything moving at such a slow pace, there is only so much anyone can get out of it. There are times where it feels like they are actively trying to make a bad show and that can get really old in a hurry. Some of the parts of this show felt like a joke that got way out of hand but WWE keeps running with it anyway. That has been the case for years now and it has taken a pretty serious toll.

But then there is the main event, which was about as good of a match as you’re going to get on Raw these days. It had none of the nonsense that dragged the rest of the show down and that was so nice to see. McIntyre and Kingston proved that the talent is there and if you cut off so much of the nonsense and bad ideas, Raw could be a totally watchable show. The rest of the night was mostly bad (though not entirely), but the main event bailed a lot of this show out. Again.

Results
Nikki Cross b. Charlotte when the time limit expired
Randy Orton b. Xavier Woods – Bro Derek
Reginald b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
Mace/T-Bar b. Lucha House Party – Double chokeslam to Metalik
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Rollup
Humberto Carrillo b. Sheamus – Rollup
Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Lana/Naomi – Fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination to Lana
Cedric Alexander b. Shelton Benjamin – Neuralizer
AJ Styles/Omos b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Phenomenal Forearm to Ryker
Drew McIntyre b. Kofi Kingston – Claymore

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Tribute To The Troops 2006
Date: December 25, 2006
Location: Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a pretty cool tradition as this is the annual Tribute To The Troops show. This time around they are over in Iraq for a show where the wrestling does not mean a thing and we get to see a bunch of wrestlers and celebrities talk about how great the military is. This may or may not be your cup of beverage but let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the USO and others helping to entertaining the troops. Tonight, WWE will be doing exactly the same.

John Cena vs. Edge

Non-title. Cena takes him down with a headlock takeover but Edge gets to his feet and takes it into the corner. That earns him a hiptoss and slam for two but Cena misses a charge and walks into a DDT. Some right hands in the corner keep Cena in trouble until he gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. A clothesline cuts Cena off again and he heads to the apron, meaning it’s time for a slugout. Cena gets knocked off the top and out to the floor, setting up the baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Edge working on a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs but Cena fights up. The Throwback drops Edge again and it’s time for a double breather. There’s a big boot to give Edge two but he takes too much time grabbing a chair, allowing Cena to get two off a rollup. A spinwheel kick sets up a quickly broken camel clutch on Cena, who starts the expected comeback. The FU is countered into the Impaler though and Edge goes up top….where he gets caught by Cena, only to counter into an electric chair to put Cena down again. The spear hits corner though and the FU finishes Edge.

Rating: C+. Pretty much a house show main event here, which these two have had probably a hundred times by now. Granted this isn’t a show where the wrestling itself is going to matter whatsoever. You aren’t going to have the All American Boy losing here though and it isn’t like anyone losing to Cena is hurt whatsoever. Is there a reason they didn’t make this a title match though?

A General gave a nice speech about WWE and giving the soldiers some Americana.

Video on wrestlers interacting with troops.

CM Punk and Shelton Benjamin wish the troops and their families a happy holidays.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton jumps him to start but the threat of a right hand sends him outside as we get some credits for the military people who helped air the show. Back in and Punk is sent shoulder first into the post, setting up a rather logical shoulder breaker. Punk fights out of an armbar but a hair pull puts him right back down. That means a second armbar for Punk to fight out of, setting up some kicks into a bulldog. A military helicopter flies by as Shelton jumps the corner to grab a superplex for two. The Stinger Splash misses though and Punk grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. Much quicker match here and it worked well enough. Punk winning by fluke is the right way to go as he isn’t ready for a dominant win over Benjamin, but you can see that WWE has some plans for him. Good enough match here with the arm work and Punk won, meaning there isn’t much to complain about.

Some troops say hi and one gets pinned.

Johnny Nitro vs. Undertaker

Melina is here too and this could be interesting. Undertaker’s entrance doesn’t work as well in the light, but the lack of hat and coat is understandable in the desert. Nitro dodges around to start and gets in a few right hands in the corner. That earns him a quick toss into the same corner and some much bigger right hands as the dominance begins. Undertaker starts cranking on the arm and Old School connects. Nitro slips out of the Last Ride though and hits an enziguri but Undertaker clotheslines him down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the chokeslam and it’s a Tombstone for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Another short and to the point match here with Undertaker’s appearance alone giving the soldiers a thrill. I believe this is the only singles match that these two would ever have, which is kind of surprising as you would think they might have met each other down the line at some point. Still though, just a quick near squash here and for a show like this, that’s the right idea.

Undertaker poses for a good while.

Earlier today, Lilian Garcia sang the National Anthem, which as usual, is great.

Wrestlers and troops say seasons greetings.

Video on wrestlers interacting with troops and doing military things when mortar attacks went off. Everyone had to go and take cover, which is quite the moment.Fourteen soldiers were injured.

Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Lashley drives him into the corner to start and busts out the gorilla press, which always looks good. A shoulder puts Holly down again and a snap suplex gets two. There’s the delayed vertical suplex for the same and they go outside, where Holly sends him hard into the steps. Back in and Holly sends the shoulder into the post, setting up the armbar. Lashley fights up and slaps on a torture rack, which he drops down into a backbreaker for another two. Holly gets in his own suplex but Lashley grabs a running powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short and to the point match here with Lashley, the ex-military guy, getting to look pretty dominant in the win. Lashley is the next big thing in ECW and it is making him feel like a much bigger deal, even if he is stuck beating up people like Holly and Test every so often.

An Iraqi Army captain explains some of what the two militaries are doing.

Wrestlers meet troops and do stuff.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start but gets knocked down without much effort. The sitdown splash misses though and they head outside with Umaga sending him into the post. Another ram into the barricade keeps Hardy in trouble and they head back inside for a kick to the spine. The nerve hold goes on to keep Hardy down but Umaga’s top rope splash misses. Hardy is back up with the Whisper in the Wind for two and there’s the Twist of Fate. The Swanton only hits knees though and Umaga unloads in the corner. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to put Hardy away.

Rating: C. Ok then. I’m not sure what the point was in having the champion lose here but again, it isn’t like it matters. Umaga is on a roll at this point and we are going to be getting a heck of a showdown with Cena at the pay per view. Going over Hardy makes Umaga look good, though it is kind of weird to see a champion getting mostly squashed.

The Director of Armed Forces Entertainment gives a lieutenant the 2.6 millionth letter the military has received.

Carlito vs. Randy Orton

Carlito’s headlock doesn’t last long to start so he goes with the left hands in the corner instead. An armdrag sets up an armbar but Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick. A swinging side slam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. Carlito fights up for the slugout and the springboard elbow to the face gets two. The RKO is countered into the Backstabber but Orton grabs the ropes to save himself. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two so Carlito rolls him up and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: C-. They couldn’t have had Carlito lose to Umaga and have Hardy win here? Anyway, Carlito continues to not be the most inspiring guy and having him beat Orton feels a bit out of place. The fans seemed to like the cheating win at the end though and it’s nice to give the soldiers something to cheer.

Santa meets some of the women, who have been naughty this year.

Some troops worked in one of Saddam Hussein’s palaces.

And now, JBL Claus (pull your beard up man). Santa talks about how great the troops are and brings out Krystal, Maria and Torrie to meet some troops. Santa: “Does Santa Claus rock or what?” We get some jokes about how the women look and then Santa has them throw out some gifts. This goes on for a good bit until Chris Masters comes out to interrupt.

Masters says he hates Christmas and doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He doesn’t like the way the troops drool over Santa’s helpers, so let’s have a Masterlock Challenge for one of the troops. Well hang on a second, as first he is challenging Santa to the Masterlock Challenge. The hold goes on and JR thinks Rudolph needs to make a save. Santa is out and Masters wins, saying there is no Christmas (because Masters doesn’t get that Santa has already done his work for the year).

Masters looks for a soldier to take the challenge and picks one of the smallest around. The Masterlock goes on again and this time JBL comes in to break kick Masters in the back….which is enough to break the hold and the soldier wins. JBL and the women say Merry Christmas to wrap it up.

One more long video on the trip ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I never know how to rate a show like this but this is the very basic version compared to what the show would become. What we got here was good enough though as the wrestling was fine enough and it still felt special. Above all else, the idea of going over to Iraq makes the show come off as important. WWE putting in some effort is nice and this worked out rather well for a Christmas night special.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 24, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Adnan Virk, Byron Saxton

We are on the way to both the Cell and the return of live fans, and last week’s Raw was downright tolerable. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for this week’s show, but at last last week’s effort wasn’t as bad. This week features a rematch between Tamina and Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler for the former’s Women’s Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

MVP opens things up and brings out WWE Champion Bobby Lashley, with some different women than last week. After a recap of Kofi Kingston pinning Lashley last week, MVP asks for a round of applause for the champ. At the same time, they are coming up on the return of fans, where you can see Lashley in person. That brings MVP to Drew McIntyre, who Lashley has beaten a few times now, meaning they are sick of him.

MVP likes the idea of Kingston rising up to face Lashley and he did, but that dark cloud got involved (cue Drew’s music) “AGAIN!”. McIntyre says everyone knew he was going to be there last week and now he wants his one on one rematch for the title. He gets in the ring and asks the ladies if Lashley has the testicular fortitude to face him one on one. The women back off and Lashley isn’t having this but here is New Day to interrupt.

Kingston reminds up (multiple times) that he pinned Lashley last week, with Lashley bringing up McIntyre’s interference. With that win, Kingston thinks he should get a rematch, which he never got after losing his title. Why is McIntyre getting rematch after rematch after rematch? McIntyre isn’t cool with that but here is Adam Pearce to make a #1 contenders match, with the winner getting Lashley at the pay per view.

Braun Strowman is glad to have fans back.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston

MVP and Lashley are with the ladies in the VIP Lounge on the stage while Xavier Woods is at ringside as the winner gets Lashley next month for the title. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get him very far as McIntyre throws him down without much effort. The toss suplex is countered with a knee to the head though and Kofi snaps off a Russian legsweep. There’s the slingshot splash for two on McIntyre, with Lashley approving.

Kingston sends him outside and nails the slingshot shot to the head. Kofi gets caught in an electric chair though and the reverse Alabama Slam sends him into the apron as we take a break. Back with McIntyre in control and snapping off a belly to belly suplex. Another knockdown gives McIntyre two but Kofi gets in a shot to the face to set up a middle rope dropkick. A quick guillotine attempt is countered into a suplex to give Drew two and frustration is setting in.

Kingston’s jumping double stomp gets two and, after headbutting Drew off the top, Kingston hits a high crossbody….which McIntyre rolls through into a Michinoku Driver. McIntyre gets distracted by Lashley through and we take another break. Back again with MVP and Lashley at ringside and McIntyre hitting a belly to back superplex for two. A spinebuster into a sitout powerbomb gets the same but McIntyre goes shoulder first into the post. Kofi sends him outside and dives onto McIntyre, MVP and Lashley at the same time. Back in and the SOS gets two, which draws in MVP and Lashley for the double DQ at 21:14.

Rating: B. Can we just skip MVP and Lashley gloating and announce the triple threat? If that’s too cliched, let us have the rematch already because the idea of the villains thinking they have outsmarted everyone has been played out for years. The match was good though, as having a former champion in there gave even the slightest hint that something could go down, which is very nice to have.

Post match the brawl is on, with McIntyre clearing the ring.

Rhea Ripley comes up to Charlotte in the back, with Charlotte saying she knows Ripley wants to be like her. A challenge is set, but here is Nikki Cross to say one of them can fight her instead. Charlotte is busy, but if she had the chance, she would beat Cross in two minutes. Ripley is free though and will do it later, much to Nikki’s delight.

Eva Marie talks about the people who work together to make her happen. Now she wants to be a hero instead of just playing one.

Rhea Ripley vs. Nikki Cross

Non-title and Cross wins if she survives two minutes. Ripley starts fast but Cross escapes and hammers away. A jawbreaker sets up a high crossbody for two on Ripley and there’s the running splash in the corner. Ripley dropkicks her down though with thirty seconds left. Ripley hammers away in the corner and stomps Cross down but time expires at 2:00.

Post match here is Charlotte for her match, with Cross mocking her via funny faces and dancing.

Damian Priest can’t wait to have fans back.

Drew McIntyre and Kofi Kingston come in to see Adam Pearce, who makes a rematch for the #1 contendership next week. Kingston is cool with that, as long as MVP and Bobby Lashley are kept out. McIntyre is down as well and the staring ensues.

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Yes, again. They go with the grappling to start with Charlotte having to escape an early Asuka Lock attempt. A kick to the face sends Charlotte to the apron but she twists Asuka’s leg around the ropes. The knee is sent into the steps to put Asuka down and we take a break. Back with Charlotte working on the leg but Asuka rolls her into an armbar. Some kicks to the back have Charlotte in trouble but she comes back with a shinbreaker.

Asuka snaps off a German suplex for a breather, so Charlotte drops her throat first across the top rope. The bad leg is sent into the post twice in a row but she manages a sliding knee off the apron. Charlotte sends the leg into the announcers’ table though and we take a break. Back with Asuka countering a big boot with a kind of Codebreaker and grabbing another cross armbreaker.

They fall outside again for a bit before coming back inside to slug it out. Charlotte misses the big boot but swings around to hit a spinning back elbow for two more (that was a sweet save, which she did last week as well). Charlotte goes for the knee again but gets kicked in the head. The Asuka Lock goes on but Charlotte flips backwards into the cradle for the pin at 21:23.

Rating: B-. This is the third match these two have had on Raw and it isn’t exactly interesting anymore. That is a trope of WWE booking and unfortunately it has happened again with a match that once felt huge. If nothing else, I could certainly go with never seeing that same finish again, as it is almost the standard way to beat Asuka these days.

Adam Pearce needs to see Bobby Lashley.

Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke are glad to have fans back.

Bobby Lashley and MVP come in to see Adam Pearce, who tells them to stay out of next week’s #1 contender match. If Lashley interferes, he is suspended without pay for ninety days. Lashley does not like that but MVP holds him back.

We look at Cedric Alexander joining the Hurt Business and being kicked out, along with Shelton Benjamin. Alexander blamed Benjamin and then lost to him a few weeks ago.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Before the match, Cedric says he is tired of carrying the washed up Shelton. The Hurt Business kicked Shelton out and Cedric was just collateral damage. Cedric has a future and is in his prime but how much time does Shelton have left? Tonight, Cedric is getting his hand raised. The bell rings and Cedric bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with a fired up Shelton knocking him into the corner and turning Cedric inside out with a running shoulder. Shelton stomps away and send things outside and Cedric is whipped hard into the barricade.

They get back in with Cedric kicking him in the ribs but having to grab the ropes to block the exploder. A kick to the head slows Shelton down and a super hurricanrana gives Cedric two. We hit the headlock on the mat to slow Shelton down and Cedric switches to a cobra clutch. Shelton Hulks Up and sends Cedric into the corner but Paydirt is countered into a rollup for two. The Dragon Whip drops Alexander and the rolling German suplexes rock him again. A poke to the eye gets Cedric out of trouble though and the Neuralizer finishes Benjamin at 9:48.

Rating: C+. This was a nice match with Cedric cheating to even things up, which is a little more than I would have bet on when they split. I’m still not wild on the 50/50 booking, but that isn’t going away anytime soon. At least they got a little time here though and I’ll take that over a pair of three minute matches.

Video on the history of RKBro.

John Morrison is glad the fans are going to be back. These promos are all about the same thing, but it’s nice to see some individual personalities.

Riddle vs. Xavier Woods

They fight over the lockup to start with Riddle taking him to the mat but Woods drives him into the corner. Woods takes his glove off and is pulled down into the rear naked choke, sending Woods’ feet into the ropes. The rolling northern lights suplexes have Woods in more trouble but he grabs his own suplex for two. They go to a test of strength with Riddle going to the mat. He pulls himself up to try a sunset flip but Woods catches him on the shoulders (geez) and drops him with another suplex.

Riddle kicks away in the corner and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Woods gets sent outside in a heap but gets back on the apron so Riddle can kick away. One of the kicks is blocked though and something like an AA drops Riddle again. Back from a break with Riddle hitting the running forearms in the corner but the backsplash lands on raised knees. Woods snaps off a headscissors and a middle rope dropkick gets two.

Riddle is back up with the Bro Derek attempt but they trade counters until Woods ties him in the Tree of Woe. The running delayed dropkick connects and a gorilla press gives Woods two. Woods heads to the apron but gets kneed in the head, setting up a rather scary looking apron German superplex for two (with Woods nearly landing on the top of his head). The Floating Bro misses and Woods nails a rolling elbow. With nothing else working, Riddle busts out an RKO for the pin at 12:48.

Rating: B. This has been the wrestling show and Woods had one of his best singles matches to date as a result. It goes to show you how talented a lot of these wrestlers are, but there is only so much that can be done with four minutes here and there. Riddle is someone who can get to a very high level when you take away the goofy stuff and we got to see that here. Woods is rather good as well, but this was one of the few chances he has had. Based on this, maybe he should get some more.

Charlotte gets the Women’s Title shot against Rhea Ripley at Hell In A Cell.

AJ Styles vs. Jaxson Ryker

No seconds here and AJ hits a dropkick to start. Ryker grabs a suplex though and we hit the bearhug to slow Styles down. That’s broken up and Styles sends him outside for a baseball slide….and here’s Elias to knee Styles in the face. Back in and a swinging Boss Man Slam gives Ryker the pin at 2:04.

Post match Omos finds Elias in the timekeeper’s area (in an awesome visual with the camera looking up) and then chases Elias and Ryker to the stage. Elias falls down and then gets Pounced into the set to break up some electronics.

Video on Humberto Carrillo vs. Sheamus.

Jeff Hardy is glad fans are going to be back.

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Non-title and Sheamus knocks him to the floor to start. The whip into the barricade has Carrillo in trouble and they’re quickly back inside with Sheamus hitting a quick clothesline. A gorilla press puts Carrillo down again and the forearms to the chest (seated version) keep him in trouble. Carrillo manages to knock him outside though and there’s the suicide dive to send Sheamus into the announcers’ table (that looked great). Back in and Sheamus counters a victory roll into a cradle with tights for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C. This was mainly a squash until Carrillo’s comeback with that sweet dive, which didn’t give them much to work with here. That being said, Carrillo didn’t lose clean and Sheamus looked a little desperate to be able to put him away. I’m not sure if that is going to be the sign of a great future for him, but it’s better than the Brogue Kick for the clean pin.

Post match Sheamus stays on Carrillo but Ricochet runs in for the save. Ricochet’s Lionsault sets up Carrillo’s moonsault (mainly onto Sheamus’ face) which sets up Ricochet’s 450 to send Sheamus rolling away.

We recap last week’s screwy finish to the Women’s Tag Team Title match, plus Shayna Baszler making Natalya tap out on Smackdown, setting up tonight’s rematch.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler ARE STILL BICKERING ABOUT REGINALD BECAUSE THAT IS ALL THESE PEOPLE DO! Baszler wants Reginald to stay in the back tonight and threatens violence if he comes to ringside.

Eva Marie is in great shape and likes helping people get in great shape too.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Tamina/Natalya

Tamina and Natalya are defending. Baszler and Tamina start, with Baszler shoving Natalya on the apron. That means it’s Natalya coming in instead, with Baszler grabbing the arm. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence with Baszler putting on a keylock to slow things back down. Baszler grabs a quickly broken Sharpshooter so she loads up the arm strong but freaking Reginald comes out, allowing Natalya to roll away. We take a break and come back with Baszler still working on Natalya’s arm but Natalya slips out.

The tag brings in Tamina for a low superkick to Nia, but a second attempt is countered into a sloppy rollup for two. The stomping is on in the corner but Tamina hits Baszler in the face. Everything breaks down and Tamina gets backdropped over the barricade. Natalya hits the discus lariat on Baszler but Reginald gets on the apron for a distraction, meaning Baszler’s small package only gets two. Reginald goes up the ramp but fire goes off to knock him down, allowing Natalya to small package Baszler for the retaining pin at 11:44.

Rating: C. So not only did they do the same “distraction leads to a missed rollup” that Miz and Morrison did a few weeks ago, but we also get another finish built around Reginald. He’s talented at acrobatics and all that jazz but WHY IS HE ON THIS SHOW??? He was brought in because Carmella needed a lackey and for some reason that gets him a job for life? Oh and Nia thinks someone half her size is cute, because that’s an idea they needed to resurrect after Enzo Amore was released.

Post match Shayna helps Reginald up and then grabs him, saying that she wants the “Cirque du Soleil Sommelier” next week, where she will make him wish he died in that explosion. Oh for goodness’ sake. That’s their big hook to end the show going into a holiday episode? Sure why not.

Overall Rating: C+. Really annoying ending aside, I liked most of this show. They went very, very heavy with the wrestling this week and while it might not be something that works every week, sometimes it is the kind of show you need. Above all else, that much ring time meant that much less time that could be used on a bunch of stupid stuff, which was the case (for the most part) until the main event. The wrestling was good and the storylines were a lot less dumb, making this the best Raw in a long time, which granted is a tiny bar to clear at this point.

The thing that gives me a bit of hope though is I’m not sure how much you’re going to see storyline wise until the fans are back. Most of the next two months is a dead period for the next several weeks as they are not likely to want to burn through anything until then. That might not be the worst idea, but it might not make for the most interesting few weeks. Still though, good start here.

Results

Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston went to a double DQ when the Hurt Business interfered

Nikki Cross b. Rhea Ripley when the time limit expires

Charlotte b. Asuka – Rollup

Cedric Alexander b. Shelton Benjamin – Neuralizer

Riddle b. Xavier Woods – RKO

Jaxson Ryker b. AJ Styles – Swinging Boss Man Slam

Sheamus b. Humberto Carrillo – Rollup with tights

Natalya/Tamina b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Small package to Baszler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 18, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 11,324
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last regular(ish) Raw of the year as next week is a trip to Iraq for Tribute to the Troops. This week is another big one though as we have a special three hour edition. The opening match will be a thirty man battle royal for a shot at John Cena’s WWE Title later in the night, so they’re going pretty hard with this one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Shawn Michaels, Jerry Lawler, Rory, Robbie, Edge, Val Venis, JTG, Shad Gaspard, Viscera, Jim Duggan, Carlito, Snitsky, Ric Flair, Randy Orton, Chris Masters, Sgt. Slaughter, HHH, Jeff Hardy, Johnny Nitro, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Ron Simmons, Shelton Benjamin, Brooklyn Brawler, Super Crazy, Charlie Haas, Eugene, Kenny, Johnny, Rob Conway

The brawl is on in a hurry and egads I’m going to have a hard time figuring out who all is in this. Edge chills on the floor to start (as you would expect) and it’s a huge brawl otherwise. Carlito chases Masters outside and gets speared down by Edge, who throws him inside so Masters can get the elimination. Duggan gets rid of the Brawler and Shelton has to hang on with his feet dangling over the floor.

Duggan is put out and Slaughter is tossed as well to clear the ring out a bit. Flair can’t toss Orton as Edge has gotten in and has to save himself from a HHH elimination attempt. The brawling continues as we have gone a good while now without an elimination. HHH facebusters Viscera though and DX gets rid of him as we take a break. Back with JTG saving himself, though Johnny and Venis aren’t so lucky as Simmons gets rid of them.

Cryme Tyme gets rid of Simmons as well, which does not seem to please him. He even grabs the mic and says the catchphrase. JTG is out (with JR calling him Shad) as the Highlanders seem to have been put out during the break. Shad is tossed as well, followed by Haas and Benjamin. There goes Lawler and Super Crazy eliminates both himself and Hardy (in a bit of an upset).

The ring has been cleared out a lot and HHH DDTs Snitsky to put him down (though not out). DX uses the hard camera to distract Eugene and get rid of him, with Snitsky and Murdoch following him. A bunch of people get together to get rid of Johnny and Flair, leaving us with HHH, Shawn, Cade, Nitro, Masters, Edge and Orton. DX stares everyone else down and we take a break.

Back with DX getting beaten down by two different sets of villains. HHH fights back and clotheslines Masters out but the other four get rid of HHH, leaving Shawn, Cade, Nitro, Edge and Orton. Shawn starts fast and throws Nitro out, setting up the flying forearm to Edge. Atomic drops slow down Cade and Orton and the latter gets hit with the top rope elbow. The non-eliminated Edge chills on the floor as Shawn gets knocked down again, only to have Orton toss out Cade. Back up and Shawn tosses out Orton but Edge sneaks up on the apron and pulls him out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C. These things are always hard to rate but the long stretch near the beginning with so few eliminations hurt it a bit. Edge vs. Cena will be fine as a main event as they can have a fine match without saying a word to each other and the ending had some drama to make things work better. That being said, the “hey he’s not out” ending needs to be erased from any and all history. The rest of the match was a battle royal, so you should know what you’re getting out of it.

Vince McMahon invites us to watch Tribute To The Troops next week. I’d come for the Creed songs.

Edge is ready to win and tells Randy Orton that he is looking for bigger goals. Like the WWE Title.

We look at Chris Masters Masterlocking Torrie Wilson last week until Carlito made the save.

A scared Maria talks to Chris Masters about what happened last week. Masters threatens to put her in the Masterlock and is ready to beat Carlito tonight.

We look at Joey Mercury’s nose being destroyed last night.

We meet Russian mixed martial artist Vladimir Kozlov, who is glad to be in America and would love to wrestle one day. Russian is spoken and booing is heard. Granted that might be for Todd Grisham calling him Victor.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Or maybe not as Carlito jumps Masters and the fight is on before the bell. Carlito gets sent into a cameraman and is busted open hardway but manages to chase Masters into the crowd and away anyway.

Johnny Nitro/Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Hardys

Shelton mocks Matt for being banged up after last night’s ladder match before grabbing him with a waistlock. An armbar on the left arm has Matt in more trouble but he’s able to get over to Jeff for the tag anyway. A belly to back suplex takes Jeff down and Haas gets to stomp away. Nitro hammers on the back and knocks Jeff into the other corner to punch him in the face (as you do in wrestling).

The yet to be named Sling Blade gets Jeff out of trouble though and Matt comes in to take over on Haas. Poetry In Motion connects as everything breaks down. The Hardys clean house and Jeff dives onto Haas and Benjamin, leaving Matt to moonsault onto everyone. Back from a break with Shelton working on Jeff’s leg, which means it’s time for the villains to take turns on it.

Nitro hangs it over the rope and hits the slingshot dive onto said leg, meaning Melina can get in a shot of her own. Back in and Shelton pulls on the leg again but Jeff flips up and manages a mule kick for the hot tag Matt. Everything breaks down and a shot to the bad leg sends Jeff outside. Matt gets his neck snapped across the top rope though and Shelton grabs a rollup with tights for the cheating pin.

Rating: C+. This took its time but it told a nice story with the leg keeping Jeff down throughout. That’s all you need for something like this most of the time and it possibly sets up Haas/Benjamin vs. the Hardys in the near future. I’m not sure what to think of the idea of multiple top level tag teams in WWE at this point, but a match at New Year’s Revolution could work out rather well.

Post match the Hardys take quite the beatdown to leave them laying again.

Armando Alejandro Estrada doesn’t care if Umaga faces Edge or John Cena at New Year’s Revolution, but they want it to be Cena for some revenge.

Kevin Federline is here and tells Melina and Johnny Nitro that he has something he has to do.

Quick trailer for Rocky Balboa.

And now, Jerry Lawler interviews Sylvester Stallone about Rocky Balboa. Stallone says the series is done after this because he wants to wrap it up on a high note. He thinks a wrestling reality show (like his Contender boxing series) could work because he remembers the boxing vs. wrestling scene in Rocky III. Hogan would beat Rocky Balboa too and Kevin Federline has a death wish to fight John Cena on Raw. Stallone actually talked like a person here instead of a celebrity who wanted to promote something.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

That wold be the same Kenny from the Spirit Squad. They grapple around to start before going outside, where Kenny grabs a suplex. Back in and another suplex gets two, followed by the chinlock. Kenny rains down right hands in the corner until an atomic drop cuts him off. Flair goes up top and, of course, gets caught, allowing Kenny to miss the top rope legdrop. Kenny’s running knee in the corner hits corner but he’s fine enough to grab a sunset flip for the completely clean pin.

Rating: C-. Naming Kenny after a baseball player (Lenny Dykstra) isn’t exactly the best way to make him into a star but giving him a pin over Flair could help a bit. They’re trying something with him after the Spirit Squad and Kenny was presented as the only one of them worth anything, but they really can’t just let him be Ken Doane? It sounds better than what they went with, which is going to be another problem for him.

Post match Flair offers a handshake but Kenny walks away.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is defending and grabs a headlock to start as we go with one of the classics. That’s broken up with a toss to the floor and Cena goes face first into the steps. Back in and Edge grabs a neckbreaker over the ropes for two. The neck crank goes on but Cena fights up for a double clothesline. We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a sleeper on the mat. That earns him a headbutt into a reverse cross armbreaker (that’s a new one) but Cena powers out again.

Cena has to power out of a cravate as well and this time he hits a running Blockbuster to get a real breather. The comeback is on with the flying shoulders into a ProtoBomb but the Shuffle misses for a change. Edge hits the spear for two with Cena having to grab the rope for the save.

With nothing on the mat working, Edge puts him on top but gets shoved down, allowing Cena to hit the top rope Fameasser (which Lawler implies is making its debut) for two. The FU is countered but the counter is countered into a reverse DDT to give Cena two more. The ref is bumped as another FU is countered so here’s Randy Orton for the RKO to Cena. Cue DX to take care of Rated-RKO though, including the Pedigree to Edge. Cena wakes up and retains the title.

Rating: B. The ending was a fine way to get out of the match without either of them taking a fall or of course changing the title. It is always nice to see a pay per view match get some extra build like this and they did that rather well with the finish. This was a good TV match on a big show, which shouldn’t be shocking given who was in there.

Later tonight: Edge/DX vs. Rated-RKO/Umaga. Dang Edge better get a big bonus for this show.

Here is Cryme Tyme for a chat. They don’t like what Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas have been saying about them so it’s time to set the record straight. So here’s George W. Bush, or at least someone bearing a passable resemblance, flanked by the best developmental/local indy wrestlers portraying Secret Service agents available. Bush talks about how Cryme Tyme are his friends, because that rapper Kanye West is wrong about him hating black people.

How can he hate black people when he is friends with Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice (Bush: “There’s one hot little black b****!”) are friends? Then there is George Jefferson, who wrote the Declaration of Independence! Bush: “He’s my ni….” Shad: “WHOA WHOA WHOA! Secret Service or not, you’ll get your a** beat right here.” Bush doesn’t like Haas and Benjamin and that’s it. Well after Bush dances to Cryme Tyme’s music….and finds out they stole his wallet. Bush leaves but flips off the crowd on the way out. This was even worse than it seems if you can wrap your head around that.

Victoria vs. Mickie James

Non-title, as the title match is announced for New Year’s Revolution. Victoria kicks her in the face and puts her on top, meaning it’s a superplex right back down. Mickie is right back with a victory roll for two so Victoria sends her face first into the buckle to knock her silly again. That doesn’t last long either as Mickie hits a running clothesline and elbow to the face (as opposed to doing the same thing over and over, which gets really old) but the MickieDT is countered into a drape over the top rope. A kick to the face sets up the Widow’s Peak to give Victoria the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much time to use here and it’s annoying to have the champ lose to set up a title match. Losing to Victoria is hardly some big upset, but she won clean here. I’m not a fan of letting a champ lose like this but it is a common trope for WWE and that has been a problem for a long time.

Post match, Victoria checks Mickie’s name off the list. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt her.

Jim Ross is in the ring and talks about how so many comedians have used Kevin Federline as a punchline. Some people say he is just misunderstood though, so here is Federline himself to address the world. Federline says there is no K Fed, because that is a personality the media invented. The real Kevin Federline takes pride in overcoming the odds and shocking the world. That’s what he is going to do against Cena on January 1 because 2007 is a new year. He wants some and he’s going to get some. That match can’t get here soon enough so we can be done with this goon.

New Year’s Revolution rundown.

We recap Edge’s long night.

Rated-RKO/Umaga vs. John Cena/D-Generation X

Cena and Orton start things off with the former hitting a release fisherman’s suplex for an early two. Shawn comes in to punch Orton and then does the same thing to Edge. Umaga comes in with a clothesline and then stomps away at Shawn (with some bonus yelling). Edge tags himself back in and Estrada has to stop Umaga from eating him. A suplex drops Edge to give Shawn a breather and sets up the falling tag to bring in HHH.

Umaga comes in as well though and a series of clotheslines finally manage to put him down. Everything breaks down and the Samoan Spike takes HHH down. Cena gets hit in the throat (sans spike) but is right back up with a HARD running shoulder to put Umaga on the floor. The two of them brawl to the back and Cena throws Umaga through part of the stage. That leaves HHH to be sent into the steps and a heck of a chair shots knocks him over the barricade for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I can always go for a main event six man tag and this one worked out rather well. There is something fun about combining two feuds into one as you can have some combinations to keep things fresh and also set up the major matches themselves. Good stuff here, with the ending being a fine way to make Rated-RKO look like threats.

Post match it’s a double RKO onto a chair to knock Shawn out, setting up the Conchairto on the announcers’ table to HHH. Orton adds another one to the very bloody HHH but referees save Shawn (also bleeding) from the same fate inside. Everyone is scared as DX is shaking to end the show (and the year for all intents and purpose).

Overall Rating: C+. They made this feel like a special show and then as usual, the year ends on a big note. I had fun with this and it didn’t feel like it was three hours, though I doubt Edge feels the same way. New Year’s Revolution is looking good so far and they should be fine after losing next week. Granted the Federline stuff was annoying, but one or two bad things in a three hour show isn’t bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 11, 2006
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting close to the end of the year and that means it’s time for a new year. That would be New Year’s Revolution and we are starting to see the card coming together. In this case, that means we need to move forward towards John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga and whatever else is added. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Armando Alejandro Estrada

Non-title. Before the match, Estrada says he knows no one here wants to see this match (Lawler disagrees) so we should just call it off. Estrada even offers a box of Cuban cigars to let him out of the match but Cena snaps one of them in half. Estrada: “That’s ok. Smoking’s bad!” How about Estrada’s diamond watch? JR thinks it’s out of the Uncle Elmer collection, and Cena snapping it in half might be proof. With that not working, Estrada busts out some cash and points out that we’re in a casino.

Cena takes said money and throws it into the crowd, meaning the match is still on. The destruction begins early with Cena knocking him around and easily blocking a brass knuckles shot. Estrada’s shirt is ripped open for the loud chops and Cena goes old school for the right hands to the head. The FU, with a smile, finishes in a hurry.

Post match Cena puts on the STFU but Johnny Nitro runs in for the save. Melina comes out as Nitro reminds Cena that he is training Kevin Federline for the Cena showdown on New Year’s Day.

Post break, Cena challenges Nitro for later tonight so Kevin Federline can get a preview.

Carlito/Jerry Lawler vs. Viscera/Chris Masters

This sounds like someone hit the random button on Smackdown vs. Raw. Lawler and Masters get things going with Masters hitting a quick slam. That makes Lawler think twice about things but Masters takes him into the corner for the tag off to Viscera anyway. The missed charge lets Lawler….get shoved by Masters so Viscera can hammer away against the ropes. Viscera drops the big elbow for two and we hit the chinlock, followed by the sitout chokebomb (that’s a big bump for Lawler) for two more.

Masters comes in and takes some forearms to the chest but spends too much time posing, allowing Lawler to get two off a sunset flip. It’s off to Carlito to pick up the pace, including dropkicking Masters down. Viscera cuts him off with a heck of a sidewalk slam but Lawler is back in with the right hands. The splash crushes Lawler in the corner but Carlito slips out of the Masterlock attempt and rolls Viscera up for the pin.

Rating: C-. I can’t believe it but this worked out pretty well. Lawler was working hard in there and Viscera was fine in the monster roll. Leaving Carlito and Masters out of the mix for the most part was probably a good idea, which makes things all the weirder. Lawler continues to be better at this stuff than a lot of people might expect and it worked out well here.

Cryme Tyme played the Highlanders in some Three Card Monte earlier today. The Highlanders get hustled, as you might have expected. Charlie Haas comes in (I didn’t expect that) to say this is perpetuating stereotypes so JTG says they’ll try to make this a more appropriate environment. Shelton Benjamin comes in and doesn’t seem pleased, meaning tonight, the World’s Greatest Tag Team is back. Haas: “HE SAID THE WORLD’S GREATEST TAG TEAM IS BACK! DY-NO-MITE! FOR SHIZZLE!” Haas and Benjamin leave, with Rory saying he didn’t know Haas was black.

We look back at Kenny helping Rated-RKO win a match but get beaten down by DX after the match.

Kenny comes in to see Rated-RKO, who doesn’t like him taking credit for the win. Orton: “As quick as you can say Spirit Squad, you got superkicked and Pedigreed.” Edge tells Kenny to watch him beat HHH tonight.

Next week: a special three hour Raw, featuring a thirty man battle royal with the winner facing John Cena for the World Title the same night.

Highlanders vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas works on Rory’s arm to start but gets taken into the corner for a top rope ax handle from Robbie. An overhead belly to belly sends Robbie flying and Shelton adds a suplex of his own. There’s a slam onto Haas’ knee but Robbie manages a Russian legsweep, allowing the hot tag off to Rory. Everything breaks down and Shelton kicks Robbie outside. Shelton jumps over Haas to land on the hanging Rory’s back, setting up a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. It isn’t like there are many teams that much better than Haas and Benjamin at the moment so the match result is hardly some horrible decision. The Highlanders stopped mattering a long time ago, even after the boost from Roddy Piper. Getting Haas and Benjamin back to doing something is fine, and this worked for a return.

This Week In Wrestling History: AWA SuperClash III, with a focus on Von Erich vs. Lawler and that horrible finish. Why yes, there is an AWA DVD coming out soon.

Edge vs. HHH

No seconds here, at least to start. HHH goes straight to the brawling and takes it outside to send Edge into the announcers’ table. Back in and the jumping knee to the face sends Edge outside again, followed by an elbow to do it again. HHH follows but here’s Randy Orton for the DQ.

Post match the brawl is on until Shawn Michaels, Kenny and Ric Flair run in for the subsequent saves. Cue Coach for the six man announcement.

DX/Ric Flair vs. Rated-RKO/Kenny

We’re joined in progress with Flair chopping Kenny into the corner so HHH can come in for a delayed suplex. There’s the knee drop as Lawler gets in a South Park reference. Shawn comes in to use Kenny’s headband for a choke, because veterans can cheap and be charming. HHH adds a chop block so it’s off to Edge, who gets taken down by the leg as well. That’s enough for Orton to come in and break up the Figure Four, meaning it’s time to hammer on Flair.

The villains start taking turns on Flair, with Edge forearming him down in the corner to cut off a comeback bid. An elbow to the head gets two on Edge and the armbar goes on. With that dropped, Flair chops him out of the air and hands it off to Shawn to start picking up the pace. Shawn superkicks Edge but walks into the RKO from Orton to put them both down.

We take a break and come back with Shawn and Orton striking it out until Shawn grabs a swinging neckbreaker. Edge comes in but misses the high crossbody, meaning HHH can come in to really clean house. It’s quickly back to Flair for the Figure Four but everything breaks down again. Kenny tries his own Figure Four but Flair small packages him for the pin.

Rating: C+. This did what it needed to do, including letting Flair come back and get a win to put him back on the right track. There wasn’t much to the wrestling but it told a nice enough story. Also, having Kenny in there to take falls should help Edge and Orton from taking all of the falls.

Post match the good guys celebrate but Edge and Randy Orton come back in to clean house. The Conchairto is loaded up but HHH makes the save with the sledgehammer, including using it to knock a chair out of Edge’s hands in a cool visual.

Johnny Nitro and Melina are on the phone with Kevin Federline, who remind him that they are going to take care of John Cena tonight (along with reminding him of who they are). Coach comes in and says hi but Federline doesn’t know who Coach is. With that out of the way, Coach announces that Nitro is going to challenge Jeff Hardy for the Intercontinental Title at New Year’s Revolution in a cage. Melina looks nervous here and they all walk off, leaving Ron Simmons to come in for the catchphrase while Federline is stillon the phone.

Torrie Wilson is freaked out about facing Victoria because she is on the hit list. Carlito calms her down, partially with his lips.

Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson

Torrie looks terrified and gets kicked down without much effort to start. There’s a catapult to send Torrie throat first into the bottom rope and Victoria bites off one of Torrie’s fingernails. Torrie grabs a rollup for two, earning herself the Widow’s Peak for the fast pin.

Post match Victoria checks Torrie off the list. Cue Chris Masters to hit the ring with the Masterlock on Torrie. Carlito makes the fast save and staring ensues.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title, Armando Alejandro Estrada isn’t here and Hardy gets shoved down in a hurry. The sunset flip is blocked but Umaga misses the sitdown splash. That lets Hardy hit a slingshot splash for two and the Whisper in the Wind sends us to a break. Back with Jeff kicking away at Umaga from the apron until Umaga pulls him down. They head back inside for the nerve hold, followed by….another nerve hold.

Hardy fights up so Umaga blasts him with a running clothesline for another knockdown. Umaga misses a top rope splash though and Hardy has a chance. The Swanton connects for two with the kickout launching Hardy. Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt. Back to back running hip attacks knock Hardy cold and the referee stops it.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty clever way to give Umaga a win without taking the title off of Hardy or having him get pinned. Umaga as being even more of a monster without Estrada around was a little more interesting and they are making the idea of Cena going after the monster more appealing. Nice storytelling here and it helped make the title match that much better.

Post match Umaga hits another hip attack and Samoan Spikes Hardy and the referee. So why would Estrada be at ringside for the Cena match?

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title and Melina is here with Nitro. Cena charges straight in and starts the fight early, including an elbow to the jaw. An even harder clothesline takes Nitro’s head off as JR is going on a rather long rant about respect. Nitro gets knocked outside as we hear about Cena being a huge wrestling fan as a kid. Lawler comments by talking about how Melina has some magnificent Muracos.

Melina pulls Nitro outside so Cena glares at her and clotheslines Nitro again. A legsweep lets Nitro put his feet on the ropes for one, followed by a dropkick to finally put Cena on the floor for a change. With Melina hitting a rather long scream, Nitro sends him into the steps for two and Melina yells even more. A neckbreaker gives Nitro two and he low bridges Cena outside to make it worse.

Back in and Cena wins the slugout, only to get poked in the eye. We hit the sleeper so Cena drops backwards for the crash break. Nitro puts it on again but Cena fights up to power out of it again. A belly to back faceplant gives Nitro two and the corkscrew moonsault connects, even if it almost wound up looking like a Swanton to the knee. Cena fights back up and initiates the finishing sequence, capped off by the FU for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C. I’m curious if that landing knocked Nitro a little silly and they went to the finish in a hurry as a result. The landing looked awful as Nitro almost landed on his own head so there wasn’t much room for error. Cena winning isn’t going to hurt Nitro, as he and Hardy can have a rather good match under any circumstances. Good enough main event here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had the focus that they have been needing to get ready for the pay per view. Between the main event guys looking unstoppable and the other matches getting some attention of their own, I’m wanting to see the pay per view that much more. They still need to add a few more things, but we can cover that on next week’s special show. This week had its own tasks though and for once, WWE took care of them and more.

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