IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2005
Location: Fort Worth Convention Center, Fort Worth, Texas
Attendance: 7,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and odds are that means a lot of final pushes towards the show. You might see less action than usual as well as WWE won’t be wanting to risk any unnecessary injuries before the biggest night of the year. Batista and HHH are going face to face tonight so we’ll see where they go with their last chance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho is in the ring for the Highlight Reel and of course there is a ladder in the middle with the briefcase above it. Jericho talks about making history by becoming the first Undisputed Champion and he’ll do it again by winning the first Money in the Bank ladder match. He knows what it feels like to be World Champion and he wants to feel it again. That brings him to his guests: Chris Benoit and Shelton Benjamin.

Jericho says the three of them are kind of friends but he’ll do whatever it takes to win the briefcase. That’s fine with Benoit, but what isn’t fine is Jericho saying he wants to win more than anyone. Shelton interrupts to say that he’s never been World Champion but he’s the only one with gold right now. Cue Christian and Tyson Tomko to say that they’re all lame and that Christian is winning on Sunday. Christian asks what will happen when he gets his first World Title shot. Shelton: “Probably get your a** beat by Batista or HHH.” That was funny.

Christian takes credit for winning two ladder matches at Wrestlemania so here’s Edge to interrupt. He had something to do with those wins but on Sunday, he’ll be winning his third on his own. Edge doesn’t want to hear about Intercontinental Titles or broken necks because he’s done all of that. He’ll do whatever it takes to win the title so Benoit lunges to start the brawl.

Chris Jericho/Shelton Benjamin/Chris Benoit vs. Tyson Tomko/Christian/Edge

Joined in progress with Christian coming in to hammer on Jericho in the corner. Jericho grabs a suplex and brings Shelton in for two off a very fast running shoulder. Benjamin fights out of the corner without much effort but Tomko catches him with a Boss Man Slam. The villains start taking over on Shelton as Lawler explains the details of the MITB contract. That sounds like old hat now, but explaining that someone could cash in on an injured champion at a moment’s notice was a new concept back then.

Shelton powers over to the corner but the referee doesn’t see it and the trouble continues. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Shelton fights up for a double clothesline. The diving tag brings Benoit in for a quick suplex into the Sharpshooter with Christian having to save Edge. Therefore, Benoit German suplexes Christian over and over but Edge crotches Benoit on top. A superplex brings the bloody Benoit (busted open off a headbutt to Tomko) down and we come back from a break with Benoit covered in blood.

He’s also fighting out of a chinlock and getting elbowed in the face for two with Benjamin making the save. Benoit is fine enough to headbutt Christian off the top and hit the Swan Dive, setting up the real hot tag to Jericho. Everything breaks down and Edge spears Tomko by mistake, only to have Shelton Dragon Whip Benoit by mistake. The exploder plants Christian but Tomko hits a heck of a big boot on Shelton. Jericho doesn’t mind and puts Tomko in the Walls for the win.

Rating: C+. This was your standard “get (almost) everyone in the big match in this match for a preview” and the talent in there made it worked. Tomko was a good enough Kane substitute as he was only in there for the power stuff. The good thing about having this much talent is you can throw them into any combination and get a nice match, which is what they had here.

Post match Christian brings in the ladder but here’s Kane to take everyone out.

When Harry Met Sally Wrestlemania trailer.

Eric Bischoff comes in to see Batista and makes him promise a lack of physicality when he and HHH face off tonight. Bischoff can’t afford an injury, so Batista says HHH shouldn’t get injured. Batista promises to not start anything tonight, but he’ll finish anything HHH starts. That’s enough for Eric, but he comes back to ask about Batista’s used car salesman last week. Bischoff brings up Batista’s movie trailer and thinks he could be a Hollywood star (the man knows talent). Batista appreciates that and thinks Bischoff reminds him of someone in Pulp Fiction. That would be the Gimp.

Trish, Christy (in a dress, with Lita), arm wrestling, Christy wins after delays, Christy wins a rematch, Trish nails Lita in the leg. Every one you’ve ever seen of these things.

Classic Steve Austin Moment: the beer truck.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. We see a clip of him attacking Stacy Keibler last week, earning Orton a mixed reaction. Perhaps from fans who are glad Stacy is gone? Last week, Stacy hesitated when Orton asked if he could beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Orton isn’t waiting because you’re either with him or against him and he wants no distractions. Undertaker is undefeated at Wrestlemania because everyone is beaten before they get into the ring. His future involves a Hall of Fame plaque, which says he beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania. The Undertaker is a legend but Orton is a legend killer.

The lights go out and we see a video counting down the Undertaker’s victims at Wrestlemania over the years. These Wrestlemania videos are always well done and they played a big part in making the Streak feel so important. Back in the arena, the posts catch on fire and Orton is scared to death on the floor. These segments have been good, but I’m not quite buying Orton as a threat after how far he’s fallen in the last few months.

Post break Kane comes up to Orton and sees through his confidence. Kane was lucky to escape two Wrestlemania matches against Undertaker. Orton says he knows what he’s getting into but Kane says Orton needs to prove that he isn’t scared of Undertaker. He has six days to prove it. So there’s a Smackdown segment.

Tag Team Titles: Simon Dean/Maven vs. La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Dean and Maven hit a double hiptoss on Tajiri to start so Regal comes in for a double elbow to Maven. La Resistance make their own save so Dean can hit a swinging neckbreaker on Regal. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Grenier gets in a cheap shot from the apron but Regal is right back with a snap bell to back suplex. The hot (though you wouldn’t know it by listening) tag brings in Tajiri for a bunch of kicks, including a big one to pin Maven and retain the titles.

Rating: D. So that didn’t do much. These four were thrown on the show because they had nothing to do at Wrestlemania (save for maybe being in the battle royal), which doesn’t seem to matter despite Regal and Tajiri being champions. I know they’ve been around forever, but would dropping them be the worst thing? Just for now? Other than house show matches, do they really serve an important purpose?

Bischoff tries to convince HHH to stay calm tonight but HHH says Bischoff is forcing him into the ring tonight. HHH will stay calm but if Batista blinks at him in the wrong way, it’s on. These segments feel like filler but what else are they going to do on this show? Promote something else for Wrestlemania?

Smackdown Rebound.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hassan and Daivari do their usual stuff before the match and it’s a bit more over than usual in Texas. Hassan goes with a knee to the ribs to take Shawn down early and hammers away with right hands. Back up and Shawn is smart enough to stomp on Daivari’s interfering fingers as we take a break.

We come back with Shawn’s back in trouble as Hassan’s offense continues to not be impressive in any way. A back elbow gives Hassan two and the chinlock goes on. There’s a hard whip into the corner to hurt the back even more as they’re managing to kill a Texas crowd in a Shawn Michaels match.

More whips into the corner have Shawn’s back in more trouble and the USA chant proves Hassan’s point all over again. The camel clutch (loose, to be countered version) is broken up with a grab of the ropes and the fans….don’t seem to care. Shawn’s comeback is on with the atomic drop into the forearm into the nipup into the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up for a very long time but Kurt Angle runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was a great example of what happens when you’re just not that good. Hassan tries but his whole appeal is his gimmick, which isn’t that good either. It’s such a one note promo and idea and while it can work in small doses, we’ve heard the same promo about prejudice time after time. Then he gets in the ring and is so boring that there is no reason to care about anything he does. Even Shawn couldn’t lift him up so who else can make it work?

Post match Angle hits Muhammad by mistake and Shawn fights him off, sending Angle into the crowd as security comes out.

Bischoff tells security to be ready for the Batista vs. HHH brawl.

Wrestlemania Taxi Driver trailer.

Bischoff is in the ring to moderate the big showdown so here are HHH, Flair and Batista. HHH gets to go first and takes his time (shocking) to call Batista ungrateful. After everything HHH has done for him, this is how Batista repays him? No one knew who he was before he met HHH and now Batista is a star.

This goes on and on (shocking) until Batista gets to talk about how he’s going to win on Sunday. He does make sure to throw in some compliments to Flair, because we must praise Flair. Batista promises to take HHH out on Sunday so there goes the table. HHH slaps him in the face (so much for Bischoff’s warning) and security has to be dispatched, leaving Batista standing tall to end the show. That was about as uneventful as you could get, with Batista doing everything he has done before and HHH saying everything he has said before. It changed nothing for Sunday, but the match has been set for so long now that it doesn’t matter.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t into this one as they basically shut down everything for some of the same builds toward Sunday, which we’ve covered extensively in the last few weeks. The six man was good but that’s not enough to carry things. This was what happened when the big show is already set and has been for months now. I’m no more interested in watching Wrestlemania than I was before and I felt like I needed to get through this show more than enjoying it and that’s not good with six days to go.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: August 27, 2019
Location: Raising Cane’s River Center, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

The first round of the King of the Ring wraps up tonight and it’s getting pretty clear that Raw is the favored side. The talent pool just feels deeper over there as this show is going to include Shelton Benjamin getting a first round match. Maybe that would have been interesting fifteen years ago but it doesn’t quite work right now. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the same video on Roman Reigns’ attacks that we saw last night.

Reigns promises a response to Daniel Bryan and Erick Rowan in the ring tonight.

Here’s Kofi Kingston for a chat, but first we see a video on Randy Orton’s attacks since Summerslam. Kofi has heard Orton calling him stupid but who got knocked out last week? Now Orton is trying to turn this personal and he’s bringing in the Revival to help him out. That means Orton is seeing the look when you mess with Kofi’s family so Kofi is ready for Clash Of Champions. Kofi starts the hip thrusts but Orton appears on screen to say STUPID over and over.

Earlier today, Orton was in his hotel room when someone knocked on his door and slid a letter underneath. Normally he doesn’t reply to fan mail but this one was different. It says that Orton is hurting Kofi and he needs to stop hurting him every night. Kofi isn’t just his hero because Kofi is his daddy. It’s from Kofi’s son Kai, and Orton realized that he is staying in the same hotel as Kofi’s family. Maybe he should pay them a visit. Kofi charges to the back and the fight is on in the gorilla position, with Kofi getting hit with the hanging DDT onto the concrete. Kofi is out cold and medics are requested. That was certainly a great THUD.

Post break, Big E. assures us that Kofi will be ready for Clash of Champions but after his match with Orton tonight, Randy might not be.

Recap of the first round of the King of the Ring.

King of the Ring First Round: Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

The winner gets Elias next week. Ali starts fast with a running hurricanrana to put Murphy on the floor. The running flip dive doesn’t work as Murphy catches him with a running knee to the face and we take an early break. Back with Ali catapulting him chest first into the corner and hitting a pop up dropkick to put Murphy on the floor again.

Murphy is right back with a shot of his own and that means the big running flip dive, which is quite the landing given Murphy’s size. Back in and Ali ducks the top rope Meteora, setting up the reverse hurricanrana for a close two. Murphy comes back with another knee to the face and a brainbuster for two of his own. The fans deem this awesome as the slugout is on, including Ali’s spinwheel kick. A tornado DDT from the apron back inside plants Murphy and Ali’s 450 is good for the pin at 9:09.

Rating: B. I can see why these two are the choice for the dark match so often. They beat the heck out of each other and it’s easy to cheer for either of them. That being said, it’s probably not a good sign for Murphy’s future if he’s losing clean in the first round of the tournament. Being able to have that kind of a match will keep him around for a long time though and he should be fine, albeit maybe not as fine as he looked last week.

They do the big respectful handshake.

Ember Moon comes up to Bayley, who seems to be worried about Charlotte. Moon doesn’t want to talk about Summerslam but also doesn’t want to hear about Charlotte being the face of the division. It’s all about bringing everyone up, so here’s Lacey Evans to say Bayley is bringing the title down. Egads it’s like the return of the summer. Bayley against Evans tonight.

Here’s the Miz to address Shinsuke Nakamura and Sami Zayn attacking him last week. Nakamura is a champion and Sami is a hanger on who couldn’t make it in the ring himself. Nakamura may be the King of Strong Styles but Miz is the man who made the Intercontinental Title relevant and he can do it again. The challenge is made for Clash of Champions but here’s a laughing Sami to interrupt. Sami says Miz still doesn’t get it because he has liberated Nakamura.

Instead of the King of Strong Style, Miz is the King of Soft Style. Miz throws out the challenge to face Sami right now but that’s a no. Miz goes after Sami but Nakamura jumps him from behind as Sami talks about how awesome the artistry is. Kinshasa against the LED board leaves Miz laying. Sami: “AHAHAHAHA!” They get inside with Sami talking about Miz’s lack of respect for artistry, setting up another Kinshasa.

Kevin Owens comes in to see Shane McMahon but finds Elias playing the guitar instead. There is no Shane tonight (yet his roving office was set up) so Owens leaves.

Bayley vs. Lacey Evans

Non-title. Lacey takes her time removing the glove but her cheap shot is blocked. An armbar doesn’t work very well for Bayley as Lacey slams her way out of it and kicks away in the corner. They head outside with Bayley hitting a running clothesline but here’s Charlotte for a distraction.

Back from a break with Bayley hitting a middle rope crossbody but getting caught in….a layout DDT I think? Lacey slams the arm onto the apron and the slingshot Bronco Buster gets two. A dropkick to the back gives Bayley a breather and some clotheslines have Lacey rocked. An Indian Deathlock of all things has Lacey….in the rope about two seconds later.

Lacey knocks her down again and hits a good looking spinning moonsault for two. Charlotte is NOT impressed as Bayley goes outside and manages a suplex off the barricade. Back in and Bayley gets more aggressive, including a knee to the head. The Bayley to Belly gets two so Bayley hits it again and drops the top rope elbow for the pin at 14:28.

Rating: C+. They had some time here and the match was entertaining enough but they still can’t get out of Charlotte’s shadow. Even if Bayley retains the title at Clash of Champions, how long before Charlotte gets a rematch and wins the title again anyway? They don’t have anything else for her to do though and this is about as good as they’re going to do.

Daniel Bryan and Erick Rowan aren’t leaving until they get an apology from Reigns.

Randy Orton vs. Big E.

Big E. isn’t playing and knocks Orton outside early on. Orton is thrown into various things, including over the barricade. Back in and Big E. does the spanking abdominal stretch, which isn’t exactly playing into the angry theme. Some hard running clotheslines keep Orton down as it’s completely one sided so far. Big E. misses the apron splash though, with his face bouncing off the apron in a nasty landing.

Orton drops him onto the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Big E. dropping him onto the table to even things up and it’s time for the belly to belly suplexes. Cue the Revival for a distraction and cheap shot from the floor, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin at 8:43.

Rating: C. One of these days, WWE is going to open their eyes and see what they have in Big E. and strap a rocket to his back. Or at least they should, because there is almost nothing that he can’t do. The idea here was to have Orton continue to take out the New Day and while the idea of “Kofi can’t do it by himself” is played out, at least they’re actually doing something about it to set things up. If nothing else, the Revival should get the titles out of it.

Post match Orton and the Revival hit the super RKO.

Chad Gable is ready for his King of the Ring match when Shelton Benjamin comes up. Shelton can’t see him because he’s short.

We look at the weekend’s 24/7 Title shenanigans.

Elias is sitting on the throne and says none of the previous winners will be able to wear the crown like he can. But what would a bunch of Louisiana people understand about that? Cue Owens to jump Elias and hit the Stunner in the ring. Cue R-Truth to steal the title but Drake Maverick breaks it up and gets the title for himself.

King of the Ring First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chad Gable

The winner gets Andrade next week. Shelton hits a spinebuster for a very early two and whips him hard into the corner for the same. One too many short jokes wakes Gable up though and he hits a running flip neckbreaker. A scary looking German suplex drops Shelton on his head but he’s right back up with a hard clothesline. Gable knocks him off the top but misses the moonsault, allowing Shelton to knee him in the face. Shelton’s powerbomb is countered into a very fast sunset flip for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: B-. That was a heck of a sub four minute match as they were hitting each other rather hard and packed a bunch into so little time. I was surprised that it was such a short match as it felt like something that would have needed twice as long. If nothing else, maybe we don’t have to listen to the short jokes anymore because that’s about as bad as you can get.

Here’s Roman Reigns for the apology to Bryan and Rowan. The two of them appear on screen with Bryan demanding his apology. We see a video of the forklift attack and Rowan is shown pushing some of the crates onto Roman. Bryan slaps him in the face, shouting about how he hates liars. With Rowan gone, Bryan comes to the ring and says he trusted Rowan for almost the last year and now he has been betrayed. Bryan comes to the ring and says he didn’t know what happened but it’s a spear to put him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a heck of a show with storyline developments and nothing bad throughout the show. What mattered here was getting things ready for Clash of Champions while also moving things forward in various places, including the main event and King of the Ring. I had a really good time with this show and it flew by for a nice plus. Very good show and easily the best of the Bischoff Era so far.

Results

Ali b. Buddy Murphy – 450

Bayley b. Lacey Evans – Top rope elbow

Randy Orton b. Big E. – RKO

Chad Gable b. Shelton Benjamin – Sunset flip

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2005
Location: Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania is less than two weeks away and that means we’re in the final stretches of the build. That can be both good and bad as some of the stories can be interesting but at the same time, some of them are running on fumes and not that great. Tonight it’s another Pick Your Poison match with Batista facing Kane. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Conway

Sylvain Grenier is here with Conway while Shawn is on his own. An early Grenier distraction doesn’t do much as Shawn sends Conway outside and beats up both French guys. That means a big flip dive to the floor for a bonus as I’m not exactly buying Shawn as being in much danger here.

A cheap shot with the flag pole gives Conway two and we take a break. Back with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock and skinning the cat to avoid a nasty landing on the floor. They slug it out as Conway is getting in far more offense than you would expect here. Shawn makes the real comeback with the usual and drops the top rope elbow. A very hot crowd is pleased as Sweet Chin Music finishes Conway.

Rating: C. That was better than I would have expected with Shawn working hard in a match that doesn’t mean anything for him. That’s how you get a crowd more interested in Wrestlemania as if Shawn can do this against someone like Conway, what could he do against Angle? Rather nice surprise here.

Video on Kurt Angle, who has won everywhere he goes and will do so again at Wrestlemania. The ankle lock gets a lot of extra attention here.

Christy Hemme is ready to fight and has been working on her kicks. She offers to demonstrate to William Regal and Tajiri, who immediately cover their crotches.

Basic Instinct Wrestlemania trailer. That’s a bit of a flashback over the last few weeks.

Molly Holly/Simon Dean/Maven vs. Christy Hemme/William Regal/Tajiri

Oh this is going to hurt. Trish Stratus comes out (with her hair pulled back for a change, making her look like a shorter Michelle McCool) to watch as a bonus. Regal takes Dean down by the arm to start and runs him over with a shoulder for no count. Tajiri comes in and gets dropped by a cheap shot from Maven.

It’s Tajiri getting beaten up as JR tries to keep Lawler from talking about Playboy. Dean goes after Regal but gets kicked in the face by Tajiri, meaning it’s off to the women. A Trish distraction doesn’t do much good as Christy kicks away at Holly but Dean breaks up a sunset flip. Regal knees Dean to the floor and the Molly Go Round misses. The reverse Twist of Fate finishes Molly.

Rating: D+. Well it could have been worse. The whole point of this match was to showcase Christy and have her look good in her outfit while managing to do the one move that she needs to do for the title match. The Tag Team Champions were just kind of there, but that has been the case for years now with those titles.

Classic Steve Austin moment: Vince and the bedpan. Vince’s heart monitor freaking out in time with the beatdown was a great touch.

Here’s an angry HHH for a chat, but first he sets a chair in the ring. He can’t believe how underappreciated he is for everything he does for this business. Do you know what it took to make Batista and Randy Orton into stars? The two of them ruined their own careers with their bad decisions and look where they are now.

Orton is currently volunteering to put his head on the chopping block for the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He groveled for nothing when he was in Evolution too, but at least he was a star, just like Batista. See, Batista could have made the right decision and gone over to Smackdown, where he could have beaten JBL and John Cena. Now Batista is coming to Wrestlemania and he’s going to lose there too.

Batista went to Wrestlemania once and then won the Royal Rumble so he knows how to win now? The problem for Batista is that he’s coming up against a wrestling god and now the big loss is coming. Last week, Chris Benoit was added to the list of people that Benoit has beaten when Batista picked his poison.

Tonight HHH gets to do the same, as Batista faces Kane in a lumberjack match. HHH gets to pick the lumberjacks of course and anything goes. He’s going to make a decision that needs to be made the animal will be put down. We get some references to the Terry Schiavo case to finally end this after nearly fifteen minutes of HHH’s slow talking about how awesome he is.

Chris Jericho/Shelton Benjamin vs. Edge/Christian

Remember the previous tag match that looked bad? This one doesn’t. Tyson Tomko is here with the Canadian team. Jericho’s headlock on Christian doesn’t get him very far to start so a shoulder gives him two instead. Christian gets knocked outside though and it’s a meeting with Edge and Tomko, allowing Shelton to bust out the big flip dive for the showoff moment.

Edge comes in so Shelton hammers away in the corner until Christian gets in a cheap shot from the floor. Christian’s neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock. Shelton gets up and hits a kick to the head, allowing the tag to Jericho (which looked to have been a bit short). The Lionsault hits Christian but Jericho has to dropkick Tomko off the apron, allowing Christian to hit the reverse DDT.

Back from a break with Shelton coming in off the second hot tag and powerslamming Edge for two. Everything breaks down and the Canadians load up Poetry in Motion, only to have Shelton use Edge as a launchpad to clothesline Christian. Jericho drops both Edge and Christian but dives into Tomko’s boot. The Stinger Splash hits Christian but he’s right back with a belt to the head, setting up Edge’s spear for the pin.

Rating: B-. This Edge and Christian reunion has been a lot of fun so far as they have the natural chemistry but it doesn’t feel like a rehash of the same stuff they’ve done before. They’re different people now and it’s the two of them as singles stars instead of a regular team. You can throw any combination of the awesome upper midcard scene at them and get a good match, just like this one.

Post match Edge and Christian lay out Shelton but Chris Benoit runs in for the save. Tomko brings in the ladder to drop Benoit.

Ric Flair gives the lumberjacks a pep talk, saying that Batista ruined their careers by not going to Smackdown. Tonight can be their own Wrestlemania and they need a new member of Evolution.

A nervous Eric Bischoff comes in to see Batista, telling him that he had nothing to do with the lumberjack match. He’s worried that Batista won’t be happy around here after winning the title at Wrestlemania but Batista says he isn’t worried about it. Batista asks if Bischoff has ever considered running for office. It turns out Bischoff has considered running for mayor of his hometown in Arizona, which is what Batista is talking about. Batista leaves but comes back, saying maybe Bischoff should just be a used car salesman. This didn’t work very well.

Randy Orton has a box for Undertaker and wants Stacy Keibler with him when he goes to the ring.

Smackdown Rebound.

Here are Orton and Keibler for a chat. Orton is ready to add another moment to his legacy at Wrestlemania when he ends the Streak. We see what is in the box: a shirt listing off all of the legends that Orton has killed. He isn’t afraid of Undertaker (take a shot) and will do whatever it takes to win. We get a video on Orton killing various legends before Orton talks about wanting to kill Undertaker’s legend.

That brings him to Stacy, and something he has wanted to do for a long time. They kiss, and it’s an RKO to lay her out. I’m hoping that the big moment was supposed to be their first public kiss because I find it hard to believe that nothing has happened between those two otherwise. I know this probably sounded good on paper, but Orton and Stacy belonged together as much as Stacy did on a wrestling show.

Classic Hulk Hogan Moment: the Mega Powers Explode. Sylvester Stallone will be inducting Hogan for your celebrity appearance.

Tyson Tomko vs. Chris Benoit

Fallout from earlier and Benoit has taped up ribs from the ladder shots. Tomko hits a running knee to knock Benoit to the floor at the bell but Benoit is fine enough to roll some German suplexes. One heck of a Swan Dive (which Benoit might have left short) hits (maybe) Tomko but the banged up ribs means it’s only two. Tomko boots him in the head as Lawler shouts to WORK ON THE RIBS. Another big boot misses and it’s the Crossface to finish Tomko. Always listen to Lawler.

Muhammad Hassan comes up to Shawn (who always looks weird in a suit) to tell him that Shawn knows nothing about adversity. Hassan should be on Wrestlemania because he has not been pinned on Raw. Daivari rants a lot but Shawn cuts them off, challenges Hassan for next week and dubs himself Mr. Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania trailer: Taxi Driver, featuring a bunch of people doing the famous line and Batista doing his best Jim Ignatowski bit.

Kane vs. Batista

No DQ lumberjack match with HHH on commentary. Kane shoves him into the corner to start but gets powerslammed right back. A Muhammad Hassan distraction lets Chris Masters get in a cheap shot on Batista and it’s time for the slow power brawl. Batista has to kick La Resistance away, allowing Kane to get in a DDT to put him down again. Kane chokes on the ropes but stops to kick Snitsky, allowing Batista to slam him off the top. A big clothesline gives Batista two as the fans are looking at someone who appeared to fall down.

The chokeslam and Batista Bomb are both blocked so Batista shoulders him outside. Snitsky and Viscera go after Kane with the latter posting himself like a moron. The rest of the lumberjacks go after Batista but Edge, Christian and Tomko beat up Kane. Batista gets back up, fights them off, kicks out of the chokeslam and hits his two moves for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was every lumberjack match you can think of and that’s neither good nor bad. What was pretty bad was the match itself, as Kane isn’t the best when he’s up against another monster. He wrestles rather slowly and it makes for some pretty dull matches. Batista winning was never in doubt as he probably won’t be losing a match for several months, let alone this one.

HHH is livid to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The only thing that matters on this show is Batista vs. HHH as the other matches have been hyped up on either both shows or Smackdown alone. What we got here was good enough, but they’re running out of ways to hype up Batista vs. HHH in a pretty clear ending. Wrestlemania as a whole looks good, though the World Title matches have a limited hype ceiling and we reached that a few weeks ago.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a request and one of several shows I’ve been asked to do from this era. It’s one of the times that I don’t remember very well whatsoever, which is always a fun thing to see. We’re less than a month removed from the Chris Benoit tragedy and that means things have kind of reset a bit. This is the go home show for the Great American Bash so we’ll get some buildup for a not very important pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

HHH’s (who has been gone since January due to a torn quad) music starts us off but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell instead. There is one king around here and that is of course King Booker. Oh sorry. King Book-ah. However, there is someone who seems interested in a claim to the crown, which brings Booker to Lawler. Since Book-ah is the real king, Lawler must cease referring to himself as such. Lawler isn’t buying that as, you know, he’s been the King for thirty years.

That’s not cool with Booker, because a kingdom divided cannon stand. Lawler finally gives in and says he won’t call himself the King anymore, but Booker wants him to kiss the ring. Shockingly enough, that’s not happening so Booker orders Lawler. That’s enough to get Lawler to his feet so Book-ah punches him in the face, only to have Lawler get in a few shots of his own as we’re likely to have a match tonight. Nice segment, with Booker logically being annoyed at another king.

Ric Flair picks John Cena to beat Bobby Lashley at the Great American Bash. This seems to be a theme tonight.

Lawler looks ready to fight.

We look back at Umaga destroying Santino Marella last week to retain the Intercontinental Title.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella vs. William Regal

Elimination rules with the winner getting a shot at Umaga on Sunday. Charlie Haas is here with Shelton. This is before Santino had become a comedy goof so he’s just a boring guy in trunks at the moment. Santino and Regal fight to the floor with Jeff fighting out of the corner until stereo crossbodies put he and Shelton down. Regal and Marella get back in with Santino punching Shelton down until Regal hits the knee trembler to get rid of Santino for the first elimination.

Jeff hammers on Regal in the corner but gets caught with an electric chair from Shelton. We take a break and come back with Jeff getting double suplexed, leaving Regal and Benjamin to argue over the pin. In an elimination match because they’re not that bright. Regal throws Benjamin down with a suplex and drops a knee on Jeff for two. A collision out of the corner puts Regal and Benjamin down so Jeff is back up to some VERY high pitched cheers. Benjamin gets kicked to the floor but Jeff misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The knee trembler misses Jeff though and it’s a Twist of Fate to get us down to two.

Benjamin is right back in with a top rope Blockbuster for two and the fans are rather pleased on the kickout. A Whisper in the Wind sends Shelton outside and Jeff dives onto Haas and Benjamin. The Swanton misses though because Jeff can’t keep the momentum going for that long. Shelton loads up a piledriver but gets rolled up to give Jeff the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Hardy was the only realistic winner here and a match against the monster should be a good moment. This just felt a little more energized than most modern matches and that made for a nice opener. The ans were completely behind Hardy here and it’s easy to see why he was going to get the rocket attached to his back very soon.

Edge isn’t sure on Cena vs. Lashley because he has no history with Lashley. He has history with Cena and can’t stand him, but he knows how tough Cena is. Cena retains.

Randy Orton has challenged Cody Rhodes to a match tonight and it’s time to kill a legend before it starts (Cody only debuted earlier in the month and hasn’t actually wrestled yet). Vince McMahon would agree these days. Orton is ready to destroy Dusty Rhodes on Sunday and wants him out there tonight for a preview.

Maria tries to make Santino feel better because he’s not a loser. Santino talks about watching Transformers and thinks he feels like he doesn’t belong here. Then she makes him feel better. Come spend the night with him and he’ll make her pancakes in the morning. She’s good with that.

Batista can’t decide but goes with Lashley. The fans are the winners though.

The bald Snitsky likes to hurt people as much as he likes to win matches. It’s weird but he can’t help himself. His opponents’ pain is his pleasure.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Val still had a job in 2007??? Venis gets a boot up in the corner to start but gets sent chest first into the buckle to put him in trouble. The pumphandle slam finishes Val in a hurry.

Post match Val gives him a second pumphandle slam. Commentary focusing on Snitsky’s bad teeth show you how far he’s going to go.

Cody is ready for his in-ring debut but knows he can never be a bigger star than his dad. You can’t RKO away Dusty’s legacy but as for tonight, Cody is going to make a first impression.

Lawler is in the ring with a bull rope for a preview of Orton vs. Dusty in Sunday’s Texas Bull rope match. The rules are explained with Lawler talking about how many horrible, violent things he’s seen Dusty do in these matches over the years. And then Orton comes out for his match.

Video on Orton being a psycho and punting various people in the head.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

This is Cody’s in-ring debut, which is almost hard to fathom. Dusty is out with Cody, as he should be. Cody gets in a left hand to the jaw to start but gets clotheslined down as the beating begins. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and Dusty is looking rather concerned, as he should.

The comeback is cut off by a snap powerslam and some forearms to the chest make it even worse. Orton grabs the chinlock for a bit until Cody fights up with right hands and a missile dropkick for two. That’s it again though as Orton grabs the backbreaker and Dusty’s emotional roller coaster continues. The RKO connects to finally put Cody away.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as Cody wasn’t going to be any kind of threat. What kept my attention here was Dusty, who worked the crowd into a near frenzy, just by going through every possible emotion in a seven minute match. The look on his face when Cody was making his comeback and then getting the near fall sold the whole thing, because Dusty can sell you anything he wants without breaking a sweat. Not a good match, but great emotion.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Dusty breaks it up.

Steve Austin picks Cena but really isn’t sure.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina has newcomer Beth Phoenix, who I almost didn’t recognize, with her. Women’s Champion Candice Michelle, who Melina faces on Sunday, comes out to watch, much to Melina’s annoyance. Mickie grabs a rollup for an early two and hits a running basement dropkick to keep her in trouble. A Beth distraction lets Melina dropkick Mickie out of the air to take over…for all of ten seconds before Melina takes her down with a running faceplant. A spinning kick to the ribs drops Melina but Mickie has to kick Beth down, allowing Melina to hit her standing legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. The women’s division was trying at this point and this was one of the better matchups they had, but what can you do in about three minutes? Candice wasn’t the most intimidating champion so they weren’t building to much, but they were certainly trying to get somewhere at this point so points for giving it a shot.

Smackdown Rebound.

Regal comes in to see Jim Duggan to talk about Jonathan Coachman liking Duggan’s board. This turns into a series of jokes about hard things going into Regal’s hand. Ron Simmons comes in for the joke, which is still funny.

Mick Foley picks Lashley because Cena has to lose at some point.

Carlito vs. Sandman

2007 was weird as this is fallout from Sandman caning Carlito last week. Sandman works on a wristlock for the token wrestling so Carlito slugs him down. The neck crank goes on until Sandman comes back for a slam, only to have Regal come in for the DQ (as Sandman caned him last week as well).

Duggan makes the save, setting up a nightmare of a tag match that I need to see.

JBL picks Cena for the experience.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Rematch from two weeks ago when Kennedy ran his mouth too long and got pinned. Kennedy beat the fire out of him backstage last week to make himself feel better. Kennedy does his own entrance, while Super Crazy’s theme sums him up well: “I’M SUPER! I’M CRAZY! I’M SUPER CRAZY!”

An early shoulder puts Crazy down to start but he dropkicks the knee and hammers away in the corner. Kennedy punches him into the other corner and grabs an abdominal stretch to slow things down. With Lawler explaining that it hurts your abdominals, Crazy comes back with a slam and two of the three moonsaults. The third is broken up with a crotching though and a reverse superplex gives Kennedy the pin.

Rating: D. Well that was a big waste of a few weeks. Was there any need to have Kennedy deal with Super Crazy over the course of three weeks? Super Crazy was a jobber to the stars at best and that’s a lot less than what Kennedy should be doing. It was a nothing match too, as Kennedy won after shrugging off anything Crazy did. I don’t get this one and I think we’ll keep it that way.

Great American Bash rundown.

We look back at HHH tearing his quad in January. He’s coming back at Summerslam, apparently now as the Six Million Dollar Man (who was named Steve Austin on the show).

Coach is on the stage to moderate an in-ring podium debate between Cena and Lashley. Cena gets a very high pitched reaction. First up, we look at Cena getting speared during the recent contract signing. Cena is asked if he feels that his title reign is ending on Sunday, which is actually a year. It sounds like Cena is about to cry because that spear two weeks ago REALLY HURT. There’s no way he can win the match and the worst part is he never learned to read. Cena: “God bless America.”

That has to be a topical reference, though I get the “I award you no points” part. We get serious with Cena admitting that Lashley is more athletic than him, but he’s fought the best before. He’s won some and lost some but on Sunday, Lashley is getting Cena’s best. Lashley says if we want someone to hype the match, let Cena the hype man do it. He turns the podium over and says he’ll be ready to fight when Cena is done talking.

The fight is teased but Coach says this isn’t happening on his show. Lashley goes up the ramp but Cena says Lashley needs to be ready for the biggest match of his career. So he needs to get ready for Wrestlemania again? Cena knows that Lashley has a great resume and on Sunday he’ll put it to the test. Lashley comes back down and the fight is on to end the show. Good segment as they’re making Lashley feel like a real threat.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird look into the time capsule that was 2007. There were some rather strange characters and feuds in there, with stuff like Sandman, Super Crazy and Jim Duggan of all people getting TV time. Cena vs. Lashley felt like a one off match and while it felt big, it didn’t feel like it was going to be a game changed. The problem is that the Cena vs. Lashley stuff is just about the only good part of the entire show, which is from a completely forgotten time in the company’s history.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2005
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means it’s the Batista Show, which is exactly what it should be right now. In addition to that though we have Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle to keep setting up, plus Chris Jericho doing something with a ladder. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH being all upset and Batista not being worried.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shawn to address Angle. Shawn talks about having a long and brutal match last week and then Angle attacked him. That’s why he showed up on Smackdown last week and gave Angle a beating of his own. We see a clip of Shawn coming to Smackdown and jumping Angle, which got Shawn thinking. Why is Angle having so much rage lately? It’s the kind of rage that comes from doubt, because Angle may be a Gold Medalist, but does that mean he can hang on the biggest stage of them all against Mr. Wrestlemania?

Angle pops up on screen and says it does go back to 1996. Yeah he won in the Olympics but then he kept being asked about turning pro. Shawn wrestled Bret Hart for over an hour and reporters talked to him about that instead of his gold medal. Angle wants Shawn to watch Smackdown as Angle is going to take four weeks to do what Shawn took sixteen years to do. Shawn doesn’t look sure to wrap things up. This was a very solid promo exchange as they gave a good story to a match that didn’t need one, which is always appreciated.

HHH vs. Rosey

Non-title as Rosey wants revenge for Hurricane from last week. A very early Pedigree attempt is blocked with Rosey hitting a running splash in the corner instead. Rosey misses a middle rope moonsault (which looked better than you might have expected) so HHH hammers away. HHH whips him into the steps and takes it back inside for the spinebuster. The Pedigree finishes things quick.

Post match HHH gets in a sledgehammer shot to further make his point, whatever that was supposed to be.

Jerry Lawler got Christy Hemme to sign his Playboy today.

Video on the Playboy shoot.

Ric Flair is worried about facing Batista tonight but HHH talks him into it. Promising to be out there with the sledgehammer makes Flair feel better too.

Chris Jericho, Edge, Shelton Benjamin, Christian and Chris Benoit are in Eric Bischoff’s office. Bischoff explains the concept of the big ladder match but Edge doesn’t want any part of it. The tease of getting a chance to be World Champion brings him back though, with Bischoff first dropping the term Money In The Bank. Tonight, the six participants will be facing off, with Christian getting to face the sixth participant next.

Kane vs. Christian

Christian tries to hammer away in the corner to start but gets shoved down with ease. Kane gets in his choking in the corner but a Tomko cheap shot gives Christian a break. Like any normal sized person against a monster, Christian tries the sleeper and has some more success than usual. Kane swings it around into a side slam and there’s a powerslam for a bonus. The big boot looks to set up the top rope clothesline but Kane has to kick Tomko down first. Not that it matters as Christian charges into the chokeslam for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. It was so nice to see a match like this that didn’t involve hearing 184 instances of commentary talking about building momentum. Instead they talked about the carnage coming in the ladder match and how big of a force Kane could be. It was a specific discussion instead of the generic terms that they use most of the time in the build to these things.

Post match Tomko hits a big boot on Kane before bailing with Christian.

Stacy Keibler helps Randy Orton get dressed so he can make his official challenge for Wrestlemania.

Lawler enjoys some Subway.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Edge has a banged up arm coming in after last week’s street fight. We start with the YOU SCREWED MATT chants as the feeling out process gets us going. Now it’s a YOU SCREWED LITA chant as Jericho starts in on a hammerlock. Some knees and a dropkick to the arm set up an attempted cross armbreaker as Edge is having some issues to start.

The running enziguri puts Edge down again and it’s the springboard dropkick to put him on the floor. A plancha to the floor takes Edge down and takes us to a break. Back with Jericho kicking at the ribs and going up top, only to have Edge catch him with a top rope superplex. The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on but Jericho fights up, only to get kneed right back down.

A clothesline works a bit better for a comeback and Jericho gets two off a DDT. The running bulldog sets up the missed Lionsault and Edge gets two off a big boot. Jericho grabs the legs for the Walls attempt but Edge kicks him into the referee. Edge gets a boot up in the corner (the boot works well for him) but the missed spear sends Edge outside. Since there is a ladder out there with him, Edge brings it in, only to get taken down for a Lionsault to the back. There’s no referee though so Edge hits Jericho low with the ladder. The Edgecution gives Edge the pin.

Rating: C+. I was expecting a bit more given the time they had, but Edge cheating to win fits him very well at the moment. He’s obsessed with winning the title and will do anything he can to get a step closer to being champion. The match was good enough due to the talent involved, but these two can do better.

Bischoff has a new idea: Batista picks HHH’s opponent and the week after that, HHH picks Batista’s opponent. Coach declares this to be genius, with Bischoff dubbing the idea Pick Your Poison.

Hulk Hogan Hall of Fame video. We covered that last week.

Here’s Orton for his Wrestlemania challenge. When he was five years old, he sat in front of the TV and watched his dad wrestle, which was pretty cool. This year, his dad is going into the Hall of Fame and Orton is so proud of him. Wrestling is about making an impact and that is what he’s going to do right now by challenging the Undertaker for Wrestlemania. Undertaker is a legend and the Legend Killer is putting an end to the Streak.

This brings out Bischoff, who thinks he drove Orton to the challenge. He’s looking forward to Raw winning the interbranded matches at Wrestlemania because the stock options will be great. Orton asks Bischoff about running WCW and his success against Raw. Bischoff agrees and Orton thinks that makes him a legend. Bischoff: “That’s right Randy it…..does.” The RKO drops Bischoff. Orton vs. Undertaker sounds good on paper, but it would have had more of an impact had Orton not been destroyed over the last few months.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. They go straight to the chops to start with Benjamin getting sent outside for the big dive, which sends Benoit crashing into the ladder, bending it in the process (that’s a hard one to watch). Back in and the top rope clothesline gets two but Benoit is right back up with the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and Shelton rolls him up for one. The Dragon Whip misses and Benoit grabs the Crossface, eventually rolling into the middle to make Benjamin tap.

Rating: C. That was intense but rather short as they didn’t even get five minutes. These two could have an instant classic with more time but given that Edge vs. Jericho got the time earlier, it’s not like the time was given to something worthless. Shelton tapping isn’t the best idea, though it doesn’t mean much given the circumstances.

Wrestlemania trailer, this time with Undertaker as Dirty Harry. That doesn’t fit well during the Deadman phase. Neither is Undertaker shooting the guy with a shotgun.

We look at HHH hitting Rosey with the hammer again.

Bischoff is banged up when Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come in. Hassan should have been in Money in the Bank and claims discrimination. Bischoff based the participants on their past success at Wrestlemania and that doesn’t apply to Hassan. Revenge is promised.

Smackdown Rebound.

William Regal and Tajiri are impressed by Christy’s Playboy but Trish isn’t quite so keen.

Here’s Christy for a chat. Lawler: “I go from 0 to horny in about 3.5 seconds when I hear her music.” Even JR sidesteps that one and I think we’re all better off for that. She wants Trish out here right now so here’s the champ. Trish tells her to make this quick but thinks she knows what is going on: Christy wants her out here for the announcement that Playboy goes on sale this Friday. Maybe Christy can even autograph it “s***”, like Trish wrote on her last week.

Actually Christy wants a title shot at Wrestlemania. Trish laughs and then promises to end Christy’s career. Christy wants the match so Trish says it’s on. It turns out that Christy has been receiving training from Lita, who comes out to a reaction that almost makes you forget that it’s Christy Hemme getting a Wrestlemania title shot. Granted it’s not like there is anyone else to challenge though. Christy takes advantage of the Lita staredown and hits a reverse Twist of Fate, with the camera catching most of it.

Bischoff won’t let HHH go to ringside for the main event, at least not with the sledgehammer. HHH and Flair complain but Bischoff shows some backbone and makes HHH drop the hammer.

Next week: HHH vs. Chris Benoit.

Ric Flair vs. Batista

HHH is here with Flair. The fans aren’t entirely behind Batista as this is certainly Flair Country. Batista shoves him down with ease to start so Flair goes at him again and gets shoved down a second time. A backdrop sends Flair flying and Batista hammers away in the corner.

HHH offers a distraction and Flair gets in the classic chop block. Flair chokes away with the boot before going back to the knee. The greatest hits only work for so long though as Batista gets up and glares at Flair. The big slam off the top checks off another box and there’s the spinebuster. HHH tries to run in and gets tossed out, setting up the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a paint by numbers match and that’s the right call. Flair (or anyone for that matter) isn’t going to be seen as a threat to Batista at the moment but beating him fits the story. Batista gets another win and gets to look dominant as well as smart. That’s a good use of seven minutes, even if the match was never in doubt.

Post match HHH comes back in with a spar sledgehammer but Batista takes it away. The hammer is broken over Batista’s knee, sending HHH into a panic to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There was a lot more to this show than the wrestling and that worked fairly well. They set up a few matches for Wrestlemania, one of which will actually be good, and kept going with more between HHH vs. Batista. The Pick Your Poison deal lets them have two weeks of storyline stuff, which is better than cramming it into one week. Stuff was done on this show, though it does make it clear how much more Raw has to offer than Smackdown for Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 22, 2004
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to continue the Survivor Series fallout, this time with someone else running the show. Last week’s Maven Show is going to be hard to beat as Maven challenging for the title wasn’t fooling anyone. At least that’s out of the way now and we can stop pretending that Maven is anywhere near that level. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open in the locker room with Shelton getting ready for his match when Trish Stratus comes in wearing a towel. She asks where he’s off to looking so pretty. That would be a six man tag because William Regal and Tajiri need him. Trish asks about her needs but Shelton thinks she’ll find someone else. An aghast Vince McMahon comes in and freaks out because it’s a woman in a towel. It’s scandalous because the moral fabric of America is being pulled apart by the sexual and racial overtones. Shelton: “EXCUSE ME?”

Vince: “Well Shelton, you may not realize this but you’re an African American. And everyone knows that African Americans are attracted to attractive white Canadian women with broken noses!” Vince goes on a rant about how this isn’t the NFL or the NBA where such actions could send Shelton into the audience in a violent rage. Shelton tells Vince to lighten up and the towel comes down as the Monday Night Football theme plays. Vince can’t kiss her because of the nose guard so he looks to the camera and asks if we’re ready for some wrestling.

So for those of you who weren’t watching American television in 2004, there was a Desperate Housewives vignette that aired before a Monday Night Football game, featuring Nicolette Sheridan and Terrell Owens doing the same thing. This was treated as the biggest disgrace in the history of television with people freaking out over a WOMAN IN A TOWEL (ok it was more her dropping the towel). It was stupid and completely overblown, though this opening has always been one of my favorites. Vince informing Shelton that he’s African American cracks me up every time as Shelton just looks lost.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Benoit, who is in charge this week. He loves the idea of more wrestling and wants to simplify things tonight. There is a contract on his door and anyone who wanted a match tonight just had to sign up. Some people have already signed up so tonight it’s Maven vs. Gene Snitsky, Batista vs. Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Lita and Molly Holly, and Jonathan Coachman against JR. We need a main event though and as luck would have it, there’s a steel cage above the ring. As you might have guessed, Benoit himself will be challenging HHH for the World Title inside that cage.

Maven vs. Gene Snitsky

Maven is still banged up but is fine enough to snap Snitsky’s throat across the top rope on his way in. A dropkick sends Snitsky out to the floor and seems to annoy him more than anything else. Snitsky pulls him down and crushes Maven’s head against the post for two as the announcers talk about how Maven should have joined Evolution last week (egads people let it go).

A half crab keeps Maven down and Snitsky slides him across the mat into the post. Maven can barely do that right as the slide is in slow motion. Snitsky misses a charge and Maven hits a high crossbody for two, followed by the top rope bulldog for the same. A big boot cuts Maven down though and it’s the pumphandle slam to give Snitsky the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting? Neither of these two are worth much in the ring, though at least Snitsky beat him pretty decisively. It’s not working with Maven and WWE is right to move him back down the card where he belongs. Snitsky doesn’t have the highest ceiling in the world, but it’s a lot higher than Maven’s, at least right now.

HHH is panicking over the cage match but Batista says they have his back. That doesn’t work well because Batista has been screwing up left and right lately. Ric Flair tries to calm things down but HHH says the point of this team is to keep the title on him. HHH bets that Batista is losing tonight. They separate and things aren’t good.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to shoot t-shirts into the crowd. She pulls out a copy of the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD but that brings out Simon Dean to interrupt. He thinks the people need a DVD that they could actually use. It’s a Simon System DVD, which the people need to protect themselves around Thanksgiving. Women like Stacy are interested in men like him, because he’s actually in shape. Stacy says no because he looks in the mirror more than she does, which doesn’t sit well with him. Threats are made so here’s Hurricane for the save. Simon beats him down with the weightlifting belt so Rosey makes the real save.

Two women (Candace Michelle and Melina) are in the back talking about Batista and HHH when Batista and Flair (Flair: “Maybe later ladies.”) come by with Batista ranting about how he can beat Jericho and he’ll prove it tonight.

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho stops an early charge in the corner with an elbow to the face but Batista runs him over without much effort. A running dropkick in the corner sets up a springboard dropkick to put Batista in trouble again. The high crossbody gets two but Batista is right back with a side slam. The Batista Bomb is countered into a rollup for two so Flair gets on the apron for the distraction. Batista gets in the spinebuster and ties Jericho in the Tree of Woe for a choke…and it’s a DQ at the five count.

Rating: D+. This was starting to get somewhere but they were smart to end it that way. Batista looks like the monster who was out to prove himself at all cost, which is exactly what they should have done. Jericho didn’t get squashed, but the point here was to make Batista look like the Animal and that’s what they did.

Post match Batista lays Jericho out with the big clothesline to the back of the head.

Post break, HHH sarcastically claps for Batista and asks for his $100. Batista doesn’t want to hear it because he walked out while HHH got carried out. HHH doesn’t like it because he wanted Batista to win. Batista has a million dollar body and a ten cent brain and if HHH needs to find a replacement, he’ll have no problem getting one. Flair is sent to talk to the livid Batista, but he tells HHH to back off.

Edge looks at a clip of him attacking Christian last week while shouting that it wasn’t his fault. He’s a lone wolf now and deserves a shot at the World Title, but Benoit is getting his own shot. Everyone knows he’s earned a shot so let’s take a poll of people in the back about whether Edge should get a shot at the title. Christy Hemme says no so Edge tells her to apologize to her mirror every morning. A production guy says no because he voted for Shawn Michaels at Taboo Tuesday. Edge is about to kill him so here’s Benoit to break it up. Edge storms off instead.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Jim Ross

Hang on though as Benoit pops up on screen to say that there has been a misunderstanding. See, Coach wrote JR on the signup sheet, which Benoit thought meant Just Rhyno.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Rhyno

Coach gets in a microphone shot and some right hands before the Gore finishes him in less than thirty seconds.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Molly Holly

Trish is defending in fallout from Lita getting beaten down by the two of them. The heel alliance starts early and they take turns choking Lita on the ropes. Lita slips out of a double suplex and grabs Trish’s mask. A double clothesline in the corner has Molly and Trish in more trouble but Trish is right back with a middle rope clothesline.

Lita gets in a quick rollup for two before hammering on the champ in the corner. Trish’s face is slammed into the mat but Molly throws Lita outside. The Molly Go Round connects with Lita diving back in for the save, followed by the hard DDT to Molly. Trish makes her own save and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match might have been a little sloppy and short, but they were showing an extra fire that you don’t often get from the women’s division of this era. Trish vs. Lita is building up rather well and as soon as Lita can keep her head on straight, she should be running through Trish for the title in a nice moment.

Post match Lita chokes Trish out and grabs at the mask again.

Flair tries to calm Batista down again as Batista gets his arm wrapped up, saying everyone goes through something like this. When HHH is ready to leave, Batista is ready to be the man. That’s not worth it to Batista, who is tired of waiting his turn. Flair: “I’VE BEEN TIRED FOR THIRTY TWO YEARS!” Flair doesn’t want this to turn into another Orton situation, but Batista says he wouldn’t regret it.

Video on Shelton Benjamin’s hometown, which included a lot of drug dealings and violence. Shelton got into trouble when he was in high school and was even a shoplifter who carried a gun with him to school. He got expelled, but he’s not proud of it. Rather random video, but these are effective most of the time, which was the case here.

Shelton Benjamin/William Regal/Eugene vs. La Resistance/Christian

Tyson Tomko is here with the villains. Regal gets taken into the wrong corner to start but Grenier is right back with a snapmare to take over. It’s off to Eugene for a headlock but he’s taken into the corner as well, allowing Christian to snap the back of his neck across the top rope. The choking begins and Conway makes it even worse by grabbing Eugene in a reverse chinlock (like a neckbreaker but with pulling instead of dropping).

Since it’s another chinlock, Eugene gets out without much effort and brings Shelton in to clean house. The top rope clothesline gets two on Conway with Tomko breaking up the cover. La Resistance hits a Hart Attack for two on Benjamin but Regal wrecks both of them. Eugene Stuns Conway into the exploder to give Benjamin the pin

Rating: C-. Completely watchable match here with the two feuds (Are these feuds?) being thrown into a single match for the sake of simplicity. Regal and Eugene are a fun team and while they’re not going to hold the titles very long, they’re a nice pickup every week. Benjamin on the other hand is looking like a star every time he’s out there.

Eugene brings the kids in for the post match dance.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari complain about travel and threaten to beat respect into anyone who gets in his way.

Smackdown Rebound.

The cage is lowered.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending inside a cage…or at least he would be if he was here. We cut to the back where Flair is freaking out at Batista, who he thinks has attacked HHH. Benoit runs to the back as Flair keeps blaming Batista. The doctors want an ambulance but Benoit comes in to say he’ll drag HHH’s unconscious body to the ring for the title match if he has to. Edge laughs at Benoit for losing a title shot so Benoit says Edge can take HHH’s place.

Chris Benoit vs. Edge

Inside a cage. Benoit starts swinging right away and takes Edge into the corner for the chops. A hard whip takes Benoit down though and Edge gets a chance to hammer away for a change. Edge starts going after the back so Benoit sends him face first into the cage. There’s a baseball slide to drive Edge into the cage as this is more about the violence so far than the win. Edge slips out of a Crossface attempt and sends Benoit shoulder first into the post.

Benoit is right back with a catapult into the buckle for two as JR compares this to being trained in the Dungeon. Something tells me there weren’t a lot of catapults into buckles in there. A good crotching slows Benoit down and Edge kicks away in the Tree of Woe. They collide in the corner as Batista is shown watching in the back. We come back from a break with Edge chinlocking a bloody Benoit.

With that not working so well, Edge hammers away with right hands and sends him into the cage again. It’s still too early to escape though as Benoit pulls him back down, sending Edge face first into the buckle. The rolling Germans are on with Benoit hitting five in a row this time. Now it’s Benoit’s chance to go up but Edge makes a save of his own.

Naturally he’s only going up for the Swan Dive for two, meaning it’s off to the Crossface. That’s broken up as well and Benoit goes into the cage, allowing Edge to return the favor on the earlier baseball slide. They fight over to the door, which is slammed onto Edge’s head. Since Edge isn’t that bright, he gets back up and spears Benoit…right out to the floor to give Benoit the win.

Rating: B-. Nice cage match but going from what was supposed to be a World Title match to this didn’t do it any favors. Edge messing up again and costing himself the big win will fuel his rage all the more, but does this really change anything? There’s no storyline advancement for this and Benoit winning is just a consolation prize.

Batista tells Flair he’s going to the ring and wants to see HHH out there. Flair needs to decide whose side he’s on.

Here’s Batista in the ring to say he’s not coming for the title (yet) because he wants HHH man to man right now. HHH comes to the ring against the doctor and Flair’s orders to go face to face with Batista…and then tells Batista well done because HHH IS SMARTER THAN YOU! HHH: “I’m a genius.”

They even pay off the doctor, who HHH says was worth every penny. HHH wasn’t going to fight in a cage because Benoit was running the shoe. He explains the entire play (which doesn’t have that many steps) and gives the MVP award to Batista. That was a performance worthy of an Academy Award (IT’S AN EMMY BECAUSE IT’S ON TELEVISION!!! STOP GETTING THAT WRONG!!!). HHH: “Or at least a Slammy!”

After posing with the title, HHH calls out the women but gets Randy Orton instead. He’s in charge next week, which doesn’t scare HHH because Orton can’t get a title match. Orton has two options for HHH: they face off one on one next week and if Orton wins, that stipulation is gone. HHH cuts him off before the second option is read and says no, so Orton goes with option #2: HHH defends the title in a battle royal. The roster comes out to the stage so the champ can panic to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The matches did get better as the show went on, but there is no hiding the fact that nothing is happening at the moment. We’ve literally gone two weeks and the biggest development is Regal and Eugene winning the Tag Team Titles. HHH has had to defend the title against Maven and tonight he gets to be the genius who keeps the title again. You know there are going to be shenanigans next week as well, because that’s what this show is all about anymore. Nothing happened on this show, and that seems to be by design.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 1, 2004
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The big story this week is the locker room rising up against Evolution, who ran roughshod last week because Eric Bischoff was gone and they just decided they were in charge. Randy Orton isn’t allowed to challenge HHH for the World Title anymore, making me wonder who in the world is supposed to go after the belt. Odds are no one at the moment, meaning more HHH bragging time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at the locker room fighting back against Evolution last week, with a focus on Orton not getting to challenge HHH again because he lost to Ric Flair. No worries though as he hit HHH with an RKO to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Eugene vs. Gene Snitsky

Hardcore match with Snitsky wheeling out a baby carriage. In the back, William Regal explains a hardcore match to Eugene, who says he has to do this himself and stand on his own two feet. I don’t see this going well. The fans are behind Eugene as he slugs away with a broom handle to as much success as you would expect.

Snitsky is fine enough to hit him with a chain and pulls out a NO BABIES sign to blast Eugene again. A slam onto a sign keeps Eugene in trouble but he gets in a shot with the chair for a breather. Some leather strap shots to the back put Snitsky down as the fans are WAY into this. Snitsky shrugs it off though and it’s pumphandle slam onto a street sign for the pin.

Rating: D+. They’re keeping Snitsky short here and that’s the right idea. Let him be a monster and beat up the popular guys without overexposing him, which has worked for years and it’s working here. Eventually someone can slay the monster, but the longer they build him up, the better this is going to be.

Post match Snitsky loads up the chair around Eugene’s neck but Regal runs in with the brass knuckles for the save. The father figure role is working well for Regal, because you know he can back it up if he has to.

HHH says everyone attacked him last week because they’re jealous of him. They attacked the biggest star in WWE today and the guy bringing the people into those arenas (3,500 out of 18,000 in Milwaukee for Taboo Tuesday anyone?). He won’t be there tonight so let’s see how things go without the franchise player. There better be a hero’s welcome for him when he gets back next week.

New interviewer Maria Kanellis talks to Tajiri, who is glad HHH is gone because the locker room is sick of him. Batista and Ric Flair come in for the beatdown.

Here are Batista and Flair in the arena with Flair saying what happened to HHH last week was unacceptable. Like him or not, the fans all need to respect HHH because he is the World Champion. If you don’t treat him with respect, Batista has no problem with destroying the entire locker room.

This brings out Bischoff, who doesn’t want to hear anymore. He gets right to the point, annoying three matches for Survivor Series: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental Title, Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Lita and Team HHH (HHH, Batista, Edge, Gene Snitsky) vs. Team Randy Orton (Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven). Flair doesn’t like his name being left off that team but Bischoff says it’s because of what happened last week. He wants to see the inmates run the asylum even more because he’s tired of having Flair try to boss people around.

Evolution didn’t come to his rescue at Taboo Tuesday so what has he gained by sucking up to them for two and a half years (as usual, Bischoff isn’t great on details). Therefore, he has an idea: he’s going on vacation for a month after Survivor Series and the winning team is going to get Raw for that time, with each member getting to be in charge for a week. Batista doesn’t find that to be fair because Benoit and Jericho would just give themselves title matches. That sounds like a threat so Bischoff says they better win at Survivor Series. So there’s your next six weeks and while it could be worse, I don’t buy Bischoff’s new style lasting.

Christian vs. Hurricane

Christian grabs a headlock takeover but here’s Edge less than ten seconds in. He’s back on Raw and has his book, which apparently includes a lot of material on Christian. The book is available tomorrow and you can read about his likes and dislikes, such as Peoria. The only problem is he wanted the last chapter to focus on his winning the vote at Taboo Tuesday and won the World Title. Don’t worry: he can have an epilogue in the paperback.

Edge goes to leave but sees the angry JR, who must want an autographed copy. We get to the match for once with Hurricane hitting a running neckbreaker for two. Hurricane gets the same off a high crossbody but gets sent into the post, setting up the Unprettier to give Christian the pin. More than half of the match was on Edge, which is a really questionable decision during a match featuring the #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title.

Post match Shelton Benjamin runs in to chase Christian off. Christian yells at Shelton for costing him the vote at Taboo Tuesday. He knows Shelton wants to fight but since Tomko is hurt, here’s a one night only problem solver: Viscera, giving Shelton a great “are you serious?” look. The double beatdown is on with Shelton taking a World’s Strongest Slam. Note that this is the same day that Test and A-Train were released. They see Viscera with more upside than A-Train?

Edge is happy to be back because he’s ready to defend the Tag Team Titles tonight. Since Benoit beat La Resistance on his own, tonight should be an easy title defense. Benoit comes up and Edge takes a title (with Sylvan Grenier’s nameplate still front and center), saying Benoit better watch his attitude or it’ll be another solo defense tonight.

Maven goes in to see Evolution because he didn’t like what happened to Tajiri earlier. Flair gets rather serious but Orton and Jericho come in as well and Evolution backs down.

Here’s Simon Dean live in person to give away a year’s supply of products. After insulting a woman, he calls in a fan with limited teeth….and that is the future Beer City Bruiser of Ring of Honor fame. I had no idea he had been around that long. Anyway Dean makes fun of his weight and the fan loses it, earning himself a beatdown.

Lawler has a thing called a Juicebox, a portable device that lets you watch video clips, look at photos and listen to MP3s. Oh those wacky 2004 flashes in the pans.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Edge and Benoit are defending but there’s no Edge to start so Benoit has to go it alone again, though he’s fine enough to hit a backbreaker on Grenier. Conway gets in a neckbreaker to take over though and Benoit is in trouble. Cue Edge, with a full entrance, to distract Benoit even more and the beating continues. Benoit finally gets in a suplex for a breather but Edge walks out as we take a break.

Back with Edge on commentary and showing him the new book. Grenier cranks on a cravate as JR snaps as only he can at this level of disrespect. The comeback is on as we discuss Edge’s high school yearbook and neck surgery. Benoit snaps off a bunch of suplexes, including a few German versions to Conway. The Swan Dive connects and the Crossface goes on as Edge gets in to distract the referee, leaving Benoit to take Au Revoir to give La Resistance the titles back.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course, though Edge was hilarious on commentary as he’s kind of perfect for this role. It also makes sense to have him not care about the Tag Team Titles because, as he mentioned at Taboo Tuesday, he’s held them ten times before and it’s time for him to step up to the next level. We really, really need some new champions though as it feels like La Resistance has held the titles for years.

Post match Edge hits him with the belt (blood) and a spear, plus a Crossface to make Benoit tap. That was better than anything in the match.

Evolution comes in to Bischoff’s office and yells about the Survivor Series stipulation. He demands that Bischoff change things but that’s a no (you don’t have to ask Bischoff twice to screw Flair over). Bischoff doesn’t get why people want him to have so much power but he’ll use some of it tonight. We’re going to have a six man tag: Evolution vs. Jericho/Maven/Orton. HHH isn’t here but if he doesn’t show up, it can just be a handicap match.

Here’s the debuting Muhammad Hassan, who says he’s an Arab American and born right here in the United States. Since 9/11, he’s been stereotyped as a terrorist who blows things up. Now, please be respectful to him. He praises Allah and Khosrow Daivari, his manager, translates to Arabic. Right now, someone needs to pop up with a sign telling them to GO BACK! YOU’RE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO DO THIS!

Survivor Series rundown.

We look back at Viscera and Christian attacking Shelton Benjamin.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Non-title and Benjamin has taped up ribs. Viscera goes straight for the ribs and takes the tape off, setting up the big fat splashes in the corner. The belly to belly suplex crushes the ribs again and a big elbow makes it even worse. Viscera tries a charge (work with me here) into the corner but gets drop toeholded into the middle buckle instead. For some reason Shelton tries the exploder and gets crushed for another near fall. With Christian cheering Viscera on from the stage, Shelton grabs a handful of face and hits the Dragon Whip for the fast pin.

Rating: F. They went with this over A-Train??? I know A-Train isn’t great but he’s a heck of a lot more mobile and versatile than Viscera, whose entire offense revolves around being 500lbs. The match was nothing with Benjamin hitting the finisher and Viscera looking like a turtle on his back.

Post match Christian comes in for the stomping and takes the exploder.

Smackdown Rebound.

Here’s Trish Stratus for a chat. She’s here to calm down her friends and family who have been panicking since they found out she’s facing Lita at Survivor Series. We see a video of Lita’s managing over the years, including her time with Essa Rios (Me when I was about twelve: “Rios is awesome. If he can get rid of that annoying redhead, he’ll be a lot better.”) who disappeared, the Hardys….who are gone as well (Trish, narrating: “TL-C you later.”) and the time with Kane where he got his throat crushed (Trish: “Ding dong the freak is dead!”) because Lita is the kiss of death.

Back in the arena, Trish talks about Lita being more than a walking kiss of death. She’s a loser too and at Survivor Series, she’ll lose the match just like she lost her baby. Cue Lita and Trish knows she’s screwed up. The beating is on in a hurry with Lita bouncing Trish’s head off the mat. Gail Kim comes in for the save and the beatdown is on, capped off by a Chick Kick to leave Lita laying. Trish is on fire at the moment and I want to see Lita take her head off so well done all around.

More voter registration stuff.

Maven/Randy Orton/Chris Jericho vs. Evolution

There’s no HHH but Maven is on the other team so is it really a handicap? Orton and Batista start things off with Batista charging into a boot in the corner and getting rolled up for two. Flair comes in and gets punched down as well, setting up the backdrop so Flair can get in the trademark screaming. It’s off to Jericho for the Walls, which he releases so we can have a three on one staredown of Batista before he can interfere.

We settle back down to Maven hitting a missile dropkick on Flair and it’s time to stare at Batista again. Jericho comes in to beat up Flair some more and even draws Batista in to distract the referee, meaning it’s a low blow to Ric. Batista finally gets smart by coming in and decking Jericho so he can drag Flair to the corner for the tag. The spinebuster gets two on Jericho and Flair is fine enough to start the chopping.

The running enziguri drops Flair to get Jericho out of trouble so it’s back to Orton vs. Batista. Yet another backdrop has Flair in trouble and there’s the powerslam to Batista for two. A double dropkick sends Batista outside so it’s time for Evolution to leave. HHH’s music hits though….and it’s Tajiri, spitting mist instead of water (which the camera misses). Batista gets thrown back inside and with Flair dropkicked to the floor, the parade of finishers begins. The RKO is enough to put Batista away for good.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. It’s fairly clear that Batista and Flair aren’t as good as two former World Champions plus Maven with an assist from Tajiri. In case you were ever wondering about that, you now have your answer. Other than that, the only thing this match made me do is wonder why we never had a HHH vs. Jericho title match around this time. They had a lumberjack match a few weeks ago that barely lasted five minutes and was more about other things than their match. A one off title match, even on a low level pay per view, wouldn’t have been out of the question.

The good guys pose on the stage and Batista shoves Flair down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird one, but it’s a weird time in the company. It’s like they’re trying to change things up a little bit and see what else they can do, which is certainly a welcome move after all the weeks and months of repetitive material. There are new characters and stories, but they’re not particularly good character or stories so far.

Maven being there because of the Tough Enough show being on is I guess supposed to serve as proof that the winners go somewhere, but that’s not exactly helping the fans. I’ll take the new stuff over more of the old though, so we’ll call this an improvement without much of a shelf life.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the more unique shows that WWE ever put together with the fans getting to pick the stipulations/participants/a few other things for the matches. This has presented a bit of a hard few weeks of TV as they don’t have specific matches to set up as everything has some kind of a twist included. Hopefully the finished product works a bit better. Oh and it’s on a Tuesday, which worked so well back in 1991 that they waited thirteen years to try it again. Let’s get to it.

By the way: the Bradley Center can hold about 18,000 people for wrestling. This really isn’t screaming good idea.

The opening video is about how the wrestlers have no control tonight. That works fine on paper, but when you consider how one sided some of the options are, it doesn’t hold up as well.

The set is rather cool with the stage looking like a keyboard. I miss these unique sets and you almost never get them anymore.

Coach is our emcee for the voting and we get to the important part first: the outfits for the women’s battle royal:

School Girls – 53%

French Maids – 30%

Nurses – 17%

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is defending and we see all of the options in the back, with some of them being laughable at best. Here are the results:

Shelton Benjamin – 37%

Batista – 20%

Jonathan Coachman – 7%

Christian – 7%

Rhyno – 6%

Maven – 4%

William Regal – 4%

Hurricane – 4%

Tyson Tomko – 2%

Tajiri – 2%

Steven Richards – 2%

Val Venis – 2%

Rosey – 1%

Chuck Palumbo – 1%

Rodney Mack – 1%

There were three realistic options and two of them finished first and second (Christian being that low is a bit of a surprise but maybe fans were just sick of seeing that match). Jericho armdrags him down to start but gets armdragged right into an armbar. Some loud chops in the corner get Jericho out of trouble so Shelton backdrops him to the floor instead.

Back in and Jericho is fine enough to get two off the running enziguri, followed by a suplex into the arrogant cover gets the same. A backbreaker has Benjamin’s back bent over Jericho’s knee as the fans aren’t sure what to do here. Jericho gets caught going up and it’s a top rope superplex to get us right back to even.

The Dragon Whip gets two but Jericho scores with the running bulldog. The Lionsault misses and Shelton gets up for the top rope clothesline in another near fall. Shelton misses the Stinger Splash and a very long Lionsault connects for a delayed two. Back up and Jericho comes off the middle rope but dives right into the exploder suplex to give Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It took some time to get going but the last part worked well enough. Shelton needed to win something months ago so this is pretty overdue but at least they finally pulled the trigger and put him over completely clean. Jericho was really just keeping the title warm for someone anyway and it gives the fans something to cheer for early on. Also, it’s about time that they push someone to a title like this so hopefully it works out for him.

Post match Jericho takes the title, hands it back to him, and raises Shelton’s hand.

Edge says he should get the World Title match because he won the triple threat last night.

Chris Benoit promises to make HHH tap. Vote for him if you’re sick of Evolution and HHH running Raw.

Shawn Michaels says he isn’t asking for sympathy and he’s legitimately injured with a torn meniscus. Whatever is left in his knee, he’ll leave out in the ring.

And none of these speeches matter because here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 39%

Edge – 33%

Chris Benoit – 28%

At least none of them got destroyed. That means Edge and Benoit will get a Tag Team Title shot tonight instead. Edge walks off in disgust as Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand.

Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Nidia, Stacy Keibler, Jazz

Trish is defending, they’re all schoolgirls and you can be eliminated by going through the ropes. Everyone gets their own entrance to show off a bit, sending Lawler through the roof when Stacy comes out. I mean to be fair, she’s kind of made for this match. They brawl in near slow motion to start with Jazz beating everyone up and Nidia losing her top as she gets thrown out.

Victoria baseball slides Jazz out and blocks a hurricanrana to get rid of Gail to get us down to four. Stacy does her kicks and leg choke in the corner on Trish as creepy fans take pictures of the skirts flying up. A double suplex sends Stacy and Victoria to the apron but they get back in without much trouble. Victoria gets catapulted out and the fans start cheering for Stacy. The double teaming begins until Stacy kicks them both in the face and sends Trish to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination and Molly gets rid of Stacy, only to get dumped by Trish to retain the title.

Rating: D. We’ll call this one “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s not a bad thing for a match like this. I was worried they would go insane and make Stacy champion but thankfully common sense held strong. The girls looked great but that’s about all this had going for it, which is kind of the most important thing.

La Resistance doesn’t like the idea of just finding out who they’re facing and it’s another example of the unfair American voting system. They’re wrestling this match under protest. Todd Grisham actually remembers his history and brings up La Resistance taking the titles from Edge and Benoit in the first place.

We recap Kane vs. Gene Snitsky. Lita slept with Kane to save Matt Hardy and got pregnant as a result. Snitsky debuted and knocks Kane into Lita, causing her to lose the baby. Kane was distraught and is swearing revenge tonight where the fans get to choose the weapon. The most interesting thing here is Snitsky turning into the best built up monster heel in years as he actually did something evil and had some good insults after. Now as long as he wins here, they might have something.

Kane vs. Snitsky

They need a legal weapon, so here are the results:

Chain – 41%

Chair – 30%

Lead Pipe – 29%

Kind of weird as the chair and pipe have been used while the chain hasn’t been a factor at all. Lita actually comes out with Kane as the slow face turn continues. They get in an early tug of war over the chain, which Kane throws outside. Right hands in the corner have Snitsky in early trouble and the threat of a chokeslam sends him outside. Now we can have the chain but Snitsky takes it away, only to get caught with an uppercut.

Snitsky uses the chain to pull Kane into the post and it’s time to choke with the chain inside. Kane’s comeback is cut off with elbows and clotheslines. Some whips with the chain set up a choke, which just seems to annoy Kane more than anything else. Back up and Kane slugs away with a big boot giving us a double knockdown.

Snitsky is up first and goes for the chain but Lita takes it away. The chokeslam is broken up with right hands so Kane sends him over the top. A dropkick to the steps sends them into Kane’s knees and there’s a chair to his throat. Choking with the chair keeps Kane down and Snitsky actually Pillmanizes his throat. Kane is bleeding from the mouth but Snitsky, being a good monster, covers him anyway before the medics can come in to help.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was your usual garbage brawling but the point here is how awesome Snitsky is getting over as a monster. I know he has a very firm ceiling above him, but it’s nice to see them actually getting someone over. Raw has needed fresh blood for a long time now and Snitsky is certainly better than nothing.

The medics take their time helping Kane as Lita actually looks concerned. Snitsky continues being awesome by turning the stretcher over on the stage.

Edge is furious over not getting the title shot over a broken down has been. He cares about the Tag Team Titles (he’s held them ten times) but they’re a consolation prize and that’s not good enough for him.

Coach goes over the stipulations for Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene, but we won’t hear the results until after it’s done.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is in his karate gear and Eugene plays with the hair clippers, the dress and the butler mannequin. Eric is smart enough to jump him from behind and kicks away but a ram into the corner wakes Eugene up. A fake knee injury lets Bischoff try a kick to the head, which just earns him some punches to his own head. The jacket comes off and Bischoff gets caught in a very long airplane spin. A big boot and the legdrop finishes Bischoff in a hurry.

Coach reluctantly shows us the results:

Loser’s head is shaved – 59%

Loser wears a dress – 21%

Losers is the winner’s servant – 20%

Coach knows this isn’t good and appeals to the fans to change their minds. He’s going to use his authority and change the decision to Bischoff being Eugene’s servant for five minutes. Actually hang on as here’s Vince to disagree. He heard what the fans said and they’re in charge on Taboo Tuesday. Bischoff tries to leave so Vince threatens to fire him. Eugene gets to do the shaving and that’s almost too much for Bischoff, with Coach talking him back into the chair. The cutting begins with Bischoff screaming that he’ll never forgive Eugene for this in a nice bonus.

Coach tries to leave but Vince isn’t happy with what he tried to pull. Therefore, he better take off his clothes because he’s wearing this dress. Vince makes sure that Coach button up because he doesn’t want a “s***”. The haircut continues and the gray roots come out, sending Vince into hysterics that Bischoff dyes his hair. Vince wraps it up as this took WAY longer than it needed to, though Vince’s antics and funny lines made it a lot more bearable.

Shawn is getting his knee taped up when Edge comes in to rant about how unfair this is. Michaels should have dropped out of this because Edge would have won. He’s nailing these angry promos so far.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

La Resistance is defending in a likely unintentional rematch. Grenier sings O Canada in French and the patriotic Edge and Benoit don’t interrupt. Edge pounds away at Conway in the corner to start and brings Benoit in to work on the chest. The first suplex is enough to bring Edge back in but this time Conway sends him into the corner. The champs take over with an assortment of forearms and choking until Edge knocks Conway off.

Hang on though as Edge needs to go outside and yell at fans as his frustrations continue. Another suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time for the chops. Edge knocks Conway off the apron and everyone winds up on the floor with Edge winding up back in trouble. We hit the chinlock back inside, followed by Conway stomping away. Grenier waves the flag as the announcers talk about Milwaukee culture because this match is really boring.

A big boot finally gets Edge out of trouble and it’s back to Benoit for more chopping as the energy just isn’t here. Grenier wastes no time in sending Benoit chest first into the buckle as the villains take over again. Benoit gets out of trouble with a release German suplex but we get the missed tag to keep Edge out. Actually that’s enough for Edge as he walks to the back (makes sense) to make this a handicap match.

Edge even leaves the arena as Grenier slaps on the chinlock in the ring. We even see the car pulling off as the hold continues. Benoit fights up and hits a top rope superplex on Grenier so it’s back to Conway. The Au Revoir is broken up and Conway is sent into Grenier to knock him to the floor. Some German suplexes set up the Crossface and Conway taps to make Benoit and Edge champions.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked this match as it just keeps going far too long when they could have done the same thing in about five minutes without missing much. La Resistance look like the biggest losers ever, though it’s not like they meant anything in the first place so the title change is actually a bit of a good idea. Let Edge get somewhere off the mega heel turn as La Resistance losing doesn’t exactly end some mega reign.

HHH thinks this whole thing is stupid and doesn’t buy the knee injury. He’ll make the injury real by the end of the night.

We look back at Shawn’s knee injury and how much it messed him up last night.

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Carmella because that’s something we need to do. Christy won the Diva Search and since there’s nothing else for Christy to do, we’re having a non-match here for Christy’s first win.

Coach is still in a dress as he announces the stipulations for the “match”:

Lingerie Pillow Fight – 57%

Evening Gown – 33%

Aerobics Challenge – 10%

Christy Hemme vs. Carmella

They both come out and disrobe behind somewhat see-through screens (you can see their shadows). We get quite a bit of time on the disrobing with Christy basically stripping and Carmella having to be told to get closer to the screen. For some reason Carmella gets to the ring nearly a minute before Christy as this just keeps going.

They disrobe…and we start with the traditional throwing of false chest enhancements. They hit each other with pillows and choke a lot as the fans start booing loudly. Christy finally covers her for the pin with Carmella’s shoulder four inches off the mat. The “match” was less than two minutes while the build was nearly ten. This was one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as the Diva Search continues to haunt me even after it’s over.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is challenging with a bad knee and somehow, THIS MATCH doesn’t get a recap video. There’s a nine hour DVD’s worth of history between these two and it doesn’t even get a thirty second video after ten minutes of getting ready for a pillow fight? Shawn, who comes out second, takes a long time to limp down to ringside and even longer to kneel in the aisle. Just to kill more time, we get a weapons check, which is a nice thing to see for the sake of old school wrestling after the mess we just saw.

HHH slowly backs him into the corner and the referee makes him back off as JR snaps on Lawler for thinking Shawn is faking it, ranting about how Lawler needs to stop thinking about puppies and underwear all the time. Completely fair point and something that always makes me smile. Shawn tries to fight defensively but gets hit in the knee to put him in real trouble.

The slow motion beating begins with HHH punching away and hitting the knee a few times, which makes perfect sense but there’s only so much they can do under the circumstances. HHH bends the knee and we hit the Figure Four (you knew that one was coming). Shawn has to beg the referee not to stop it and, after two minutes in the hold, makes the rope for the break. The leg is pulled to the post but Shawn uses the good leg to send HHH into the post for his first major shot.

Back in and a catapult sends HHH into the post again and they’re both down. An atomic drop isn’t the brightest move so Shawn hits three of them in a row and a clothesline finally puts the champ down. Shawn gets in a low blow and a big DDT, followed by an understandably messy top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up and, after dealing with an interfering Batista, takes HHH down. Batista distracts the referee though and Edge comes back in to spear Shawn (Edge: “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”) to give HHH the retaining pin.

Rating: C. I can’t get mad at this match as they didn’t have another option. Shawn could barely walk and you can’t fault the logic. It wouldn’t have made any sense for someone as smart as HHH to work on anything but the knee so it was the only way they could go. Edge interfering at least got something out of it and Shawn tried as hard as he could on one leg. It wasn’t exciting, but they did as well as they could under the circumstances.

Post match Shawn gets the hero’s sendoff. He wouldn’t wrestle again until January.

Bischoff, now with short gray hair, yells at people in case they make fun of him. Bischoff: “I’ll fire you! I haven’t even hired you yet but I’ll fire you!”

We recap the night so far to fill in time. I’d bet Shawn vs. HHH was scheduled for WAY longer so it’s about all they can do. Aside from just having Shelton vs. Jericho go longer or something, as two of the matches didn’t even combine for four minutes. The recap eats up the better part of eight minutes.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton. After losing the World Title, Orton started calling out Flair for being a lackey to HHH instead of a legend. Flair said that Orton wasn’t a real legend killer because he was the only real legend in wrestling. This led to Flair teasing a face turn for about an hour before attacking Orton all over again. The idea for tonight is Flair trying to be his old self one more time, which he could actually pull off. The fans want to cheer Flair at the moment though so hopefully they’re given the chance here. It feels like a filler feud before Orton can get back to HHH, but the promos have been good.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

There are two real options here so here are the results:

Steel Cage – 68%

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%

Submission – 12%

Coach: “It is absolutely unanimous!” Coach doesn’t know what unanimous means. I’d have bet on falls count anywhere getting a bigger share but this was the best choice. You can win by pinfall, submission or escape. Orton wastes no time (we’ve done enough of that tonight) and starts punching so Flair chops right back. Flair takes his required backdrop but he’s up on the ropes to thumb Orton in the eye and knock him down.

There’s a low blow and a ram into the cage to draw some rather early blood. Flair drops a knee to the head as Lawler and JR compare the voting to the Presidential election. Orton sends him into the cage and hammers at the head to draw blood (well duh) and Flair’s trunks go down as he tries to climb the cage. Flair gets crotched to make it even worse but he low blows his way out of the corner. That just earns him a face rake against the cage and a dropkick to send him into the steel.

For some reason Flair goes up and…well you know the rest. Orton gets two off a high crossbody (I’ll call it a Starrcade 1983 reference), followed by the backbreaker for the same. A forearm to the back of Flair’s head actually draws an argument from the referee, allowing Flair to pull out the brass knuckles for two. Orton has to pull him back in the door but Flair is able to pull a chair in with him. The chair shot misses and it’s the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: B. The blood helped a lot here as Flair tried to turn back the clock and came pretty close, but just wasn’t able to overcome the younger star. Orton got a nice win though it’s not exactly a game changer or anything. This feud wasn’t the strongest in the world to start and while the match was good, it’s not like it’s anything more than a filler feud until Orton can go for the title again.

Post match they shake hands with Flair dropping to a knee. A hug and stare end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Good opener and better main event aside, this did not work as a concept and would have been much better off as a special episode of Raw. There’s way too much down time for the results and a lot of the matches were short for the sake of pre or post match shenanigans. It’s far from the worst show they’ve ever done but it’s much more a case of an idea that works on paper but not at all in practice.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 2004
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Taboo Tuesday and that means the voting is going to become a factor. In other words, expect a lot of people asking for votes from fans on various topics, many of which are likely to be established in the coming weeks. Either way HHH will wind up looking awesome because that’s just what he does. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Big Boss Man. That’s a sad one.

Opening sequence.

Eric Bischoff is in the ring to talk about Taboo Tuesday. He REALLY doesn’t like the idea of fans making these matches because fans don’t know how to pick what they want on pay per view. He’ll do it anyway though because here are the four choices for whom HHH can face for the World Heavyweight Title: Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit, Edge and Randy Orton. Actually hang on though, as Orton isn’t getting in there that easily. He can only be on the ballot if he defeats Batista in a No DQ match.

This brings out a ticked off HHH to say this isn’t happening. He doesn’t come to this guy’s job and tell him when the fries are done and he doesn’t tell this girl which street corner to work. The truth of the matter is it doesn’t matter who he faces at Taboo Tuesday because he’s leaving as champion. As for tonight, the fans can have some choices: go screw yourselves, rot in h***, try to get life, or roll yourself up into a tight little ball….and here’s democracy hater Shelton Benjamin to interrupt. Shelton has some choices for HHH: quit whining, quit complaining, cut out the crying or get it on right now.

Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Non-title. This was at least scheduled for later so they did have something planned for the show. Shelton goes right after him to start and hammers away both on the mat and in the corner. The Stinger Splash misses though and Shelton goes shoulder first into the post. Back from a break with Shelton getting taken down by the bad arm as HHH goes into full Arn Anderson mode. A nip up gets Shelton out of an armbar so HHH goes up top to separate the shoulder like he did to Eugene.

You don’t go up top on Shelton though as he runs the ropes and armdrags HHH down for a breather. The Dragon Whip connects and a hard Russian legsweep keeps the champ in trouble. There’s the top rope clothesline (called a modified bulldog by JR) for two more and now the Stinger Splash sends HHH outside. Shelton follows and it’s a belt shot to the head for the DQ, meaning HHH has still never beaten Benjamin.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill match between these two as HHH still can’t figure Benjamin out but Shelton is never winning the title because he’s not HHH. Much like the post-Unforgiven Raw, this was HHH selling a lot but getting to leave with the title, which has been the problem for a very long time now.

Post match HHH Pedigrees him on the floor and gets to pose with the title.

We recap Christy Hemme winning the Diva Search last week.

The Simon System will work for you!

Hurricane/Rosey vs. Rhyno/Tajiri

Rosey and Hurricane have been “frustrated” lately, probably because they’re barely ever on the show. Tajiri slugs away at Rosey to start, which goes about as well as you would expect. Rhyno likes the challenge of a big Samoan so he shouts a lot and throws hard shoulders, which finally take Rosey down. Notice that the fans pop big for the knockdown, because Rhyno built up the idea and the fans are behind him so they want to see him get it done.

Hurricane comes in for a high crossbody as Tajiri makes a save. The Tarantula has Hurricane in even more trouble so Rosey makes his own save with a kick to the head. Hurricane ducks a Gore to send Rhyno into the corner, followed by a blind tag to Rosey. A big spinning Rock Bottom finishes Tajiri.

Rating: D+. I like most of the people in this match so it’s hard to get annoyed at them having a quick one. It’s nice to have people fighting to become #1 contenders instead of having them face the champions over and over again. That’s what happens when you have more than two teams in the division and it can work just fine.

Mick Foley and JBL are going to have a debate. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Long recap of Gene Snitsky causing Lita to miscarry.

We get a sitdown interview with Kane, though Lita is still in a state of shock. She won’t eat and isn’t moving because they found out it was going to be a baby boy. Now their son is dead and it’s all because of Gene Snitsky.

Smackdown Rebound.

Benoit talks to William Regal about Taboo Tuesday when Eugene comes in with a pair of scissors. He wants to be like Brutus Beefcake but Regal has an idea.

Gene Snitsky vs. Val Venis

On his way to the ring, Snitsky insists that it WAS NOT his fault, but he’ll meet Kane next week in Madison Square Garden. Snitsky goes with the standard book of heel offense grade one beatdown to start as the fans call him a baby killer. A kick to the face sets up the chinlock but Venis gets in some low dropkicks. The Money Shot misses though and Snitsky kicks him in the face, setting up a pumphandle powerslam for the fast pin.

Wrestlemania sold out in less than one minute.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. He doesn’t like the idea of Orton calling himself a legend or talking about greatness, because that only applies to a select group. Orton was great because he was World Champion, but Flair hears Orton calling himself the Legend Killer. Who did Flair kill? Was it Shawn Michaels? He’s a great performer but no legend. Harley Race is a legend but Flair wore him out every time he was in this building.

Bret Hart (never been in a ring with Orton) is sitting at home looking in the mirror and Flair doesn’t think he’s a legend. Hulk Hogan (same as Hart) is an aspiring Hollywood star and no legend. Or is it a human stunt man like Mick Foley? The only legend who can walk that aisle and look as only he can look. Flair yells about being a sixteen time sixteen time sixteen time (he channeled Diamond Dallas Page there) World Champion and until Orton beats him, he’s no legend killer.

This brings out Orton to say that Flair is a legend that Orton idolized as he was growing up. He would even put on his dad’s bathrobe and practice the strut. Orton couldn’t have beaten Benoit without him, which is what makes it so tragic to see what Flair has become. Flair tells him to not go there because Flair and HHH have something special.

That’s too far for Orton, who can’t imagine the Flair he grew up watching would ever say that (absolutely true). Flair is just a glorified cheerleader these days but Orton knows he wants to stand up to him like only Flair can do. Only Flair can stand up to something like this because a true legend can stand up for himself. Great promo from Orton, but I don’t buy a Flair face turn whatsoever.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho vs. Christian/Tyson Tomko

Rematch from a few weeks ago. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Shawn getting caught in the corner. That’s broken up with a knee lift of freedom, allowing the tag to Jericho to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and Christian is thrown over the top onto Tomko as we take an early break. Back with Jericho in trouble, though actually not in a chinlock for a change. That really is a modern thing and something that needs to go away.

A sunset flip isn’t enough for the tag off to Shawn as Christian cuts things off. Well he is the tag team expert. A neckbreaker sets up a neck crank until Jericho pops up and enziguris Tomko. Shawn comes back in to take over with the usual with Tomko being sent over the top. Jericho breaks up an Unprettier attempt and hits the Lionsault on Christian but gets sent outside by Tomko. Sweet Chin Music drops Tomko but Christian rolls Shawn up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the match just came and went without much time due to the commercial. Building to Shawn vs. Christian is fine, but Shawn is going to be a heavy favorite on the Taboo Tuesday ballot so it’s going to have to be on a big TV show or wait a long time. They’re doing a nice enough job of building Christian up though and that’s a good idea.

HHH fires up Batista, who is ready to destroy Orton once and for all tonight. HHH tells him not to worry about Flair.

William Regal and Eugene are in the ring with three unknown guys. Tonight, Regal is going to let Eugene practice the three stipulations for his match with Bischoff. First up we have a guy dressed as a butler, who thinks he would be a better servant than Bischoff. Regal disagrees, because he’s seen the messes that Eugene makes. The second guy is in a dress, who thinks he would look better than Bischoff. Regal says he reminds him of an old girlfriend with ugly feet.

Finally we have a guy in a chair (who says his name is Scott Colton but isn’t Colt Cabana) who has agreed to have his head shaved. This brings out Bischoff to say Eugene isn’t shaving his head at Taboo Tuesday. Instead Bischoff kicks the guy getting his hair cut and runs. This must be something that sounded a lot better on paper because it really didn’t work in execution.

There was a Taboo Tuesday press conference.

Next week: Shawn vs. Christian. That makes some more sense.

Here are Trish Stratus, Gail Kim and Molly Holly to welcome Christy Hemme to the roster. After making fun of the Diva Search (fair enough), they bring Christy out and the one fan sign they show for her spells her name wrong. Trish won’t let her talk so Christy takes the mic away to thank the fans. It’s an honor to be here and she’ll make us all proud. That’s all good with Trish, who accuses Christy of sleeping her way into the finals.

Carmella pops up on screen to show off those Playboy level acting abilities as she talks about how no one would really pick Christy over her. It was Christy who robbed her of a quarter million dollars. Back in the ring, Trish is ready to give Christy her first match: a three on one handicap bra and panties match.

Christy Hemme vs. Victoria/Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

Christy loses in about ten seconds, as this stupid thing is still not over because WWE doesn’t know when to just let things go.

Post match Christy doesn’t seem to mind being in her underwear and says she’s perfectly comfortable like this. Given that they had her out there in swimsuits for two months, this really shouldn’t be shocking.

Batista asks a stoic Flair if he’s ready to go but Flair says he’ll be out there when he wants to be.

Randy Orton vs. Batista

No DQ and if Orton loses, he’s off the Taboo Tuesday ballot. Orton starts fast with a Thesz press but walks into a spinebuster for his efforts. A trip to the floor means a whip into the steps and some choking on the apron. Back in and a side slam gets two despite Orton’s shoulder being so far off the mat that it annoys JR. The slow beating continues as Orton’s hero status continues to dwindle. Orton avoids a charge to send Batista into the corner but here’s HHH because it’s No DQ.

The power of European uppercuts get Orton out of trouble and a DDT plants Batista. HHH takes Orton down though and grabs a chair….and here’s Ric. The fans are very into this as Flair takes the chair, which of course he uses on Orton because they set this up and did the swerve in about an hour. The Batista Bomb ends Orton as he loses again.

Rating: D+. You know, if they want Orton to be the big star and the guy HHH is running from, it might help if he was booked strong for a change. This was another instance of HHH getting the upper hand and posing with the title, as the Flair thing lasted all of forty five minutes. I know HHH got sent into a cake, but I’m thinking the fans might need something more than that.

Overall Rating: D. There were some entertaining parts to the show but for the most part, the Taboo Tuesday build isn’t working. The problem continues to be that you can’t really build towards a match when you don’t know who is involved, which is the case with the biggest match on the show. The big angle here would suggest Orton vs. Flair, but my goodness they couldn’t draw things out for another week or two before having Flair turn on Orton? I’m worried about how bad this is going to get before the show, because they’re off to a really bad start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the season premiere of Raw and that means….I’m not sure really as wrestling doesn’t have seasons. One thing tonight is the end of the Diva Search, meaning the segments that have managed to make great looking women in swimsuits a chore to sit through are over. Other than that, we’re coming up on Taboo Tuesday, which we don’t know much about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Jim Barnett, a longtime promoter in the NWA and Australia.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up. After a quick welcome, he wants to get to the major announcement promised, which concerns everyone, including Eric Bischoff. This brings out a limping Bischoff (thanks to having a sledgehammer dropped on his fott a few weeks back) and Vince gets to the point. A few weeks ago, Chris Jericho suggested that the fans vote on a type of match. That’s a good idea, but what about doing it on a full pay per view?

Indeed, on October 19, we’ll be seeing a new concept called Taboo Tuesday (yes Tuesday) where the fans get to vote on everything from who gets a World Title shot to what the Divas are wearing. Bischoff loves the idea on paper but doesn’t think these people are capable of making such decisions. Vince is a busy man so maybe he should think about this for a week. Next Monday, Bischoff can have another idea that isn’t involving the fans taking control.

That sounds like patronizing to Vince, and there’s a reason that Bischoff is the GM of Raw and Vince isn’t the GM of Nitro (good line). Maybe Bischoff doesn’t like the idea because with the fans picking things, there’s no need for a GM. Actually, Vince thinks Bischoff should be wrestling that night, against this man. Cue the still injured Eugene and Bischoff isn’t sure what to do.

They’ll be facing off at Taboo Tuesday and the fans get to pick what happens to the loser. Vince even has options: the loser is the winner’s servant, the loser has to wear a dress, or the loser’s head is shaved. Bischoff immediately tries to talk Eugene out of the match because he loves his nephew. They could go out and get some ice cream tonight but Eugene knocks him out instead.

The fans didn’t exactly react to the concept, and I can’t say I blame them. As Bischoff said it’s good on paper, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to go in practice. On a related note though, how much better is it to have Eugene back at a level where he belongs? It’s probably way too late, but this was more charming than annoying and that’s a positive sign for him.

We look back at Randy Orton attacking HHH last week, including the cake. Orton got him at the end of the show as well, but HHH still left as champion so it’s not like it mattered all that much. Shelton Benjamin and Chris Benoit ran in for the save to end the show, meaning we’re probably in for a six man tonight.

Hey look there’s a six man tonight.

Stacy Keibler/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

In case you didn’t get enough of Stacy wrestling last week. Stacy mocks Molly’s dancing from last week because she frowns on culture. Victoria takes Trish down early to start and the standing moonsault (now minus the dancing) gets two. Molly comes in and walks into a powerslam as Lawler talks about getting to dress the Divas at Taboo Tuesday. A giant swing doesn’t work well for Victoria with the announcers mocking her for it, but thankfully it’s not time for a tag to Stacy just yet. The spinning side slam plants Trish and now it’s off to Stacy for two. Molly comes back in and gets caught in a backslide for the quick pin. Yay indeed.

Orton reads Raw Magazine because that’s what wrestlers do. Vince comes in and says “Sucks doesn’t it?” He’s talking about reality, which is what caused Orton to lose the title. Orton promises to win the title back because it’s his destiny. This interests Vince, who tells Orton to give it his all.

Billy Graham is here.

We look back at Gene Snitsky causing Kane to accidentally injury Lita last week.

Snitsky has been blamed all week but it wasn’t his fault. Last week Snitsky was there to do a job and he did that. To repeat, it wasn’t his fault!

Hurricane vs. Tajiri

This is fallout from a tag match on Heat. They fight over a wristlock to start until Tajiri kicks him in the face. Hurricane gets in a clothesline to set up a seated full nelson but Tajiri fights up without much effort. A tornado DDT is blocked and Tajiri gets in a superkick. Hurricane is right back with something like a neckbreaker but Tajiri reverses the cover into a crucifix for the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane is mad and takes the mask back from a fan. That’s quite the nice heel move.

Kane is at a medical facility (thankfully in street clothes instead of his gear) and says there is a 50/50 chance of saving the baby. Upon hearing Snitsky’s name, Kane gets a lot angrier and vengeance seems to be sworn. So this is the start of Kane’s face turn, though it’s still not the nicest of scenarios.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Jericho is defending and has hacked his hair off for a pretty bad look. Christian comes out for commentary as a bonus. As expected, they fight over arm control to start until Shawn takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Shawn gets sent over the top so the cat get skinned, allowing him to come off the top with a high crossbody, which gets rolled through for two. A backbreaker keeps Shawn in trouble as Christian dubs himself the Show Stealer, which is much better than the Showstopper.

Jericho’s superplex attempt is broken up without much effort and Shawn hits the early top rope elbow. That’s enough for Christian, who goes to the ring to steal the show. He manages to get in but Shawn knocks him right back out, only to walk into the enziguri from Jericho. Christian gets ejected (wrestling referees have no jurisdiction over commentators) and we take a break. Back with Shawn starting in on the leg and grabbing the Figure Four. That’s broken up in a hurry so Shawn gets smart and stays on the leg.

Jericho grabs a small package for the break and kicks Shawn down, only to jam his knee on a Lionsault attempt. The rapid fire pinfall reversal sequence gives us some good near falls until Jericho takes him down again and scores with the Lionsault this time around. Jericho goes with the straight right hands this time around but Shawn is right back up with the forearm into the nipup. Shawn nips up and gets caught in the Walls, only to have Jericho let go and dropkick the invading Tyson Tomko down. That’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to connect but a very, very slow crawl over for the cover draws Christian in for the DQ.

Rating: B. It was good while it lasted and I can understand why they went with the DQ finish. It’s annoying, but Shawn isn’t going to be Intercontinental Champion and Jericho isn’t ready to lose the thing yet. Christian and Tomko are almost annoying at this point though, as the match was getting really good when the interference started.

Post match Christian shouts at Shawn and beats him up, which is one of the first times I’ve bought him as a bigger time heel.

Smackdown Rebound.

Kane has freaked out at the medical facility with a lot of screaming ensuing.

HHH complains to Evolution about the fans voting because fans are stupid. Flair tells HHH to calm down because he’s the best ever and all that jazz.

Long recap of the Diva Search, with the eliminated women talking about how much they learned about respecting the business. I’m not sure if I want to laugh or glare over a line that stupid.

Rob Conway vs. Maven

What are we doing here? Conway jumps Maven from behind to start as the USA chants start up in a hurry. Maven fights out of a chinlock and stops a charge in the corner before hitting a high crossbody. That’s rolled through to give Conway two (second time we’ve seen that spot in as many matches) before Maven hooks a small package for the pin. Nothing match and it’s still Maven.

Lita’s doctor says she lost the baby, because a doctor is going to do that on national television ten minutes after the fact. Kane comes out of the room and nearly kills the doctor but beats up a wall and screams instead. Hey the wall didn’t hurt your baby dude.

Simon Dean wants to help you lose weight. Seeing the Simon System advertised on VHS is so strange. Simon: “Remember, you can be fat, unattractive and die alone, or you can do the right thing and pick up the phone.”

JR and King do their somber voices about Lita losing the baby.

And now, the Diva Search finals, because WWE doesn’t know what a transition is. Coach mocks both of them and goes to get the envelope but here’s Trish, looking very out of place in a dress, to interrupt. After making fun of all the tasks the women have had to go through, she promises an official victory party for the winner next week. With Trish gone, Christy wins the contest and cheers a lot. She says it’s all about the energy and that she doesn’t need decaf. Carmella gives the lame “oh well it was fun” response doesn’t care about the booing. After some more lame answers, this whole thing is finally done, thank goodness.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton/Chris Benoit/Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks HHH down to start and thankfully the announcers bring up Shelton beating him a few times. A shoulder block just lets Shelton nip up so HHH tries the right hands. That goes badly as well as HHH gets backdropped, only to drive Shelton into the corner. So strength seems to work on Shelton, which is why HHH tags Flair instead of Batista. Some cerebral. Benoit tags himself in as well and it’s time for the chop off. Flair gets the worse of it and the Swan Dive connects for two as everything breaks down.

Orton loads up the RKO on the floor but gets posted, allowing Batista to hit the big clothesline. That means Orton needs medics and we take a break. Back with Shelton coming in off the hot tag to clean house and hitting a Stinger Splash on Flair. Batista misses a charge into the corner, though he comes nowhere near the post for a bit of a weird visual. HHH finally gets in a knee and Shelton is in trouble for a change.

Things slow down with Flair hammering away in the corner and HHH coming in without a tag, though Lawler is sure he saw one. I’ll take his word for it. The spinebuster gives HHH two and it’s back to Flair for the Figure Four. That’s broken up as well but Batista remembers that he’s in the match and works on the leg as well. The slow motion holds continue until Shelton kicks Batista in the face, allowing the hot tag to Benoit.

Everything breaks down (of course) and Benoit suplexes both Batista and Flair. HHH comes back in and takes one of his own, leaving Flair to get caught in the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up by HHH but here’s Orton to charge down the ramp and tag himself in. A few right hands send HHH running and the RKO finishes Flair.

Rating: C+. And thus it’s another attempt to get Orton a big moment. That’s all well and good, but having him already win and lose the title makes this feel out of place. The fans aren’t exactly enamored with Orton at the moment and having him taken out so Benoit and Benjamin can wrestle most of the match isn’t going to help things. The only thing that can make it better is him winning the title from HHH and being a hero, but that’s not going to happen because it’s HHH’s title and no one is getting over as a hero while that is the case.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was pretty watchable this week but for the most part I kept wondering if this is what we were really doing. A lot of the show just felt like it was there for the sake of doing something with the time as we sit around and wait on the next big story. Orton, at least in this form, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and that leaves us back where we were a year ago. Something needs to be shaken up around here very soon, but it might be a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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