Wrestlemania XXII (2020 Redo): My Usual Confused Thoughts

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

With that out of the way, it’s time for Booker T. and Sharmell to be scared of the Boogeyman. Booker insists that he isn’t a freak magnet and runs into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase not letting Eugene dribble a basketball to win money, Snitsky doing…something to Mae Young’s foot as Moolah watches, and Goldust dressed as Oprah. Goldust says they’re all freaks and the only way to beat the Boogeyman is to put the worms in his…and it’s whispered in Booker’s ear. A ticked off Booker leaves with Sharmell.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Great American Bash 2008 (2024 Edition): See You Next Show

Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Smackdown – July 18, 2008: Stiff Trapezoids

Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2008
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and we are getting ready for HHH vs. Edge, which feels something like a major match. On paper it certainly is, but in this case the main story is the continuing saga of Edge and Vickie Guerrero. Naturally things are going well again and now we are probably on the way back towards the wedding. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Edge and Vickie Guerrero’s rocky relationship.

And now, the wedding, with Chavo Guerrero as best man and everything seems to go off without a hitch. The reception is tonight and that’s a bit of a twist on the usual formula.

The wedding party is introduced for the reception, with the rest of La Familia and Alicia Fox waiting on the stage. Chavo welcomes Edge to the family and thinks he’ll be perfect with some of that wild side. Edge isn’t THAT wild any more though, as he never even turns his phone off anymore so he won’t miss anything from Vickie. It’s Chavo’s honor to be the best man and he’ll be there when Edge wins the World Title on Sunday. Chavo even has a mock WWE Magazine with Edge as champion on the cover. Edge says Vickie loves her action so let’s get things started.

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

This is a preview of the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash, also involving Jesse and Festus and Miz/John Morrison. Before the match, Edge says he’s tired of seeing Finlay and Hornswoggle cheating every week, but Hawkins and Ryder are too smart for the water guns and such. So is Edge, who will be the guest referee.

Hawkins and Ryder (and Edge) are in wedding clothes and Edge throws the shillelagh out before the bell. Finlay takes Hawkins into the corner to start but Edge breaks it up, which JR doesn’t see as the best move. Edge’s distraction lets Hawkins hammer away and it’s off to Ryder for a neckbreaker. Finlay fights up and brings in Hornswoggle to clean house but Edge hits a spear on Finlay to give Ryder the fast pin.

Post match Edge heads back to the stage for the first dance with Vickie. Cue Big Show to cut in so Edge gives him a handicap match right now.

Big Show vs. Great Khali/MVP/Shelton Benjamin/Vladimir Kozlov

So how did Edge know those four would be ready to go if this was an impromptu match? Show shoves Benjamin down without much effort to start so MVP comes in. That involves nothing physical whatsoever before it’s off to Kozlov. Show shoves him into the corner without much trouble so Khali tags himself in. A quick clothesline drops Khali and everyone else comes in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on, including the chokebomb from Khali.

Post break Vickie is in the ring (you might be noticing a theme here) to throw the bouquet, with a bunch of women at ringside. Michelle McCool and Natalya get in a fight, with Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder getting rid of McCool. Cherry catches the bouquet, which earns her a match against….Vickie. But only after her first match.

Cherry vs. Natalya

They’re both in dresses and Natalya wins in less than 45 seconds.

Vickie Guerrero vs. Cherry

Vickie pins her in five seconds.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. The Brian Kendrick

This is the debut of the new Kendrick, complete with a monster named Ezekiel. Kendrick wants nothing to do with this handshake stuff so Yang takes him down with a headlock takeover. Back up and Yang hits a running clothesline to the floor but an Ezekiel distraction lets Kendrick get in a cheap shot. Kendrick starts in on the arm back inside but charges into an elbow in the corner. A missile dropkick gives Yang two so he goes up for the moonsault, only to have Ezekiel offer a distraction. Kendrick slams him down and hits Sliced Bread #2 for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a good enough debut for the new Kendrick, with Ezekiel playing into the finish like a monster enforcer should. Kendrick’s new attitude worked well and there is some potential for him to do something with this. Yang continues to be a solid hand in the ring and is the right choice to put in a spot like this one.

Edge gets a box of Slim Jim’s, saying he’ll show his spicy side later tonight.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga

Kennedy strikes away to start but Umaga gets in a hard shoulder. An even harder clothesline has Kennedy in more trouble and he runs into an elbow in the corner. This lets Umaga get in his variety of stomping/stepping on Kennedy’s head before grabbing the nerve hold. Kennedy’s comeback is cut off by a knee to the ribs and things slow right back down. We hit the nerve hold again before Umaga drops him one more time as we take a break.

Back with Umaga putting on ANOTHER nerve hold as this match will not get going. Kennedy tries to fight up but his slam attempt falls down and we are off to the fourth nerve hold. With Kennedy daring to do something, Umaga uppercuts him right back down as the fans are dying with every boring second of this mess. Kennedy fights back again and actually gets somewhere with right hands and an enziguri for two. The Mic Check is blocked though and the Samoan Spike finishes for Umaga.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was terribly dull. The match was less than fifteen minutes long and it included four different nerve holds. The match just wasn’t interesting and it felt like Umaga was doing less than phoning it in. Kennedy can’t do much when his comeback is cut off time after time so the beatdown can keep going. Really dull stuff here.

Edge is in a new Slim Jim commercial.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jesse and Festus

Non-title. Festus chases Miz and Morrison outside to start as the champs already need a breather. Morrison gets suplexed to start and Festus slams Jesse onto him for two. Back up and Morrison knocks Jesse into the corner as JR compares Morrison to Rick Rude. Jesse gets out of said corner and brings Festus back in to clean house. A Rocket Launcher top rope forearm hits Miz with Morrison having to make a save. Everything breaks down and Miz grabs the Reality Check to pin Jesse.

Rating: C. They kept this one really short and it didn’t do much to get me excited for the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash. The champs have already beaten one of the teams, so why would I want to see Jesse and Festus getting a title shot? I get not having the champs loses here as they just lost on ECW, but it’s not the best way to go for Sunday.

Raw Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and they come to the ring at the same time, though only after hitting Chavo Guerrero with a cake. Respect is shown to start and Jeff goes after the arm. That’s reversed into an arm crank from Matt, who knocks Jeff down. Neither can hit a Twist of Fate so Jeff runs up the corner for the Whisper In The Wind to take over. The slingshot dropkick (that always looks good) gets two but he has to break out of the Side Effect. Jeff knocks him down again, only to miss the Swanton. Matt’s moonsault gets two but La Familia runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they didn’t want to fight each other and the fans weren’t sure what to do here. The smart move here is that they kept this short, as there was only so much you can get out of a match like this one. The action was good but the vibe was off, which was kind of the point of the whole thing anyway.

Post match the beatdown is on and Edge hits a spear to each Hardy.

Post break La Familia is in the ring so Edge can talk about how much he loves Vickie. He even has a special video package of their relationship, including their time in a park on a seesaw and in, uh, more intimate areas. With that out of the way, here is HHH to interrupt, complete with a big gift box. First though, let’s get this out of the way: no he isn’t secretly married to Vickie.

While he didn’t have the time to get a big special video together, he does have a video of his own. We see a video dated yesterday, showing Alicia Fox coming to see Edge with Vickie nowhere to be seen. Edge is worried about some wedding details so they go over some planning, including food options (uh, that should probably be decided earlier than the day before the wedding). HHH pauses the video and thinks Edge is a bit anxious, so let’s skip to the good part.

Back to the video, with Edge talking about how a white rose symbolizes his love for Vickie. He’s so attracted to scents, including whatever perfume Fox is wearing. She’s not wearing any perfume (cut to a VERY displeased Vickie in the arena) and Edge touches her arm, saying his trapezoid (Fox: “Your what?”) is locking up on him. A slightly nervous looking Fox rubs his neck (Edge: “I think it’s getting a little stiffer.”) but HHH pauses things again.

Edge explains that his neck was flaring up, with HHH saying lots of guys have women massage their necks when their wives aren’t there. An angry Edge sends the troops after HHH, who pulls out gift #2: a sledgehammer. HHH: “It’s one size fits all and there’s plenty for everyone!”

We go back to the video, which now sees Edge rubbing Fox’s back. Edge suggests taking the bra off (Fox isn’t sure) and mentions he went lingerie shopping yesterday, but there was nothing in Vickie’s size. He was told to go to the store for “bigger people” and talks about how big Vickie’s underwear really is. HHH stops the tape again and says this is awkward. He says he didn’t watch this yet, but it kills gift #3: some rather large underwear. HHH: “I can always park my car under it.”

We go back to the video where Edge takes off Fox’s glasses and…she’s going to leave. Edge stops her and they kiss, with Fox certainly approving. Back in the arena, Vickie glares at Edge, Fox looks like she’s about to cry, and Bam Neely is talking to Chavo Guerrero about something. Vickie screams a lot as Edge leaves to end the show. I’m going to assume they ran out of things to air here, as this went nearly 20 minutes and they easily could have accomplished the same thing in half the time.

Overall Rating: C-. It would be an understatement to call this a one note show as the Edge/Vickie stuff went from start to finish, with the villains sitting on the stage almost throughout the night. The wrestling was nothing special with that Umaga vs. Kennedy match being especially dull. Other than the Tag Team Title match, there is nothing important but Edge vs. HHH at the pay per view on the Smackdown side. Pretty weak show this time, though the reaction to Edge kissing Fox (once they got there) was good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Smackdown – July 11, 2008: The Not So Wedding Show

Smackdown
Date: July 11, 2008
Location: River Center, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I’m barely remembering what we’re dealing with at the moment. HHH is ready to defend the Smackdown World Title against Edge at the Great American Bash, though Edge and Vickie Guerrero are having some troubles, to the point where their wedding is off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Edge’s recent issues, from losing the World Title to CM Punk to his problems with Vickie Guerrero. Edge thinking that yelling at his boss/fiance was a good idea wasn’t his greatest moment.

Here is- Edge to get things going. He has had a week to think about what he said to Vickie Guerrero last week….and the wedding is STILL off. He’s happier without Vickie because he’s better than her. At the Great American Bash, he can prove everyone wrong by winning the World Title again.

He has won more titles than anyone else in this industry and he will prove how great he is again at the Great American Bash when he beats HHH. Cue Vickie Guerrero (Vickie: “Excuse me, baby.”) to say the wedding being canceled isn’t her loss. Vickie gives him a match tonight: a No DQ match against the Big Show. Edge says he isn’t afraid and promises to make Show a loser like her. Vickie has his mic cut off.

Video on Maria.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Matt takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Back up and Matt grabs a headlock for some careful grinding. Benjamin sends him into the corner and hits a neckbreaker for two. The neck crank goes on as Benjamin certainly has a target so far. That’s broken up and Benjamin misses the Stinger Splash, allowing Hardy to start the comeback.

It’s too early for the Twist of Fate so Hardy settles for a corner clothesline/bulldog. The top rope elbow to the back of the head gives Matt two but Benjamin is right back with the exploder for the same. Matt is back up to try the Twist of Fate but Benjamin grabs the rope and hits…well it was supposed to be Paydirt but Matt fell the wrong way, making it kind of a jumping clothesline. Either way, it gives Benjamin the upset pin.

Rating: C. The ending was a surprise and it was even a clean pin, which doesn’t make for the best future for Matt and the title. For now though, Benjamin getting a push isn’t a bad thing, but he couldn’t have put his feet on the ropes here? Nice job on the surprise pin, though I’m not wild on the way they got there.

The Edgeheads are in Vickie Guerrero’s office and say the three of them don’t deserve Edge’s abuse. Instead, they want to face Jesse and Festus, with Vickie making the match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Domino

MVP is on commentary and gets a few jabs from Kennedy during the pre-match chat. Kennedy takes him down to start and hits a corner clothesline, with Domino bailing out to the floor. Back in and Domino manages a quick slam and legdrop but Kennedy fights up again. Some elbows to the face and a running boot in the corner have Domino in trouble, setting up the Mic Check to give Kennedy the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this short here and that is how it should have gone as the point was for MVP and Kennedy to be in the same place, likely with something happening after the match. Both of them could use this feud as they could both go or a boost. Domino does not seem long for this place, as he could not have been more of a jobber here.

Post match Umaga runs in and wrecks Kennedy.

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, gives Edge a pep talk and says he’s going to give Vickie Guerrero a piece of his mind.

Post break Chavo offers Vickie that piece of his mind….which is about how horrible Edge is and how the Guerreros have to stick together. Vickie doesn’t buy it (my goodness intelligence!) and gives Chavo a match with HHH instead.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Non-title. Finlay and Morrison start things off as JR goes on a mini rant about Edge and Vickie’s drama. Miz’s cheap shot earns him a flip over the top so Finlay beats up both of them at once. Hornswoggle comes in for some Stunners (JR: “Next thing you know he’ll be drinking beer!”) but a double dropkick cuts him off. An enziguri hits a kneeling Morrison though and it’s Finlay coming in to clean house. The Celtic Cross connects but Miz makes the save. That earns him a shillelagh shot, followed by the Tadpole Splash to give Hornswoggle the pin.

Rating: C. Nothing is getting a ton of time this week and that doesn’t exactly make me interested in seeing the longer form rematch. This probably sets up a pay per view title match and at least there was some cheating to get us to the rematch. It’s still a bad night for the champs though and that isn’t the best thing to see.

Video on Jeff Hardy’s Mission: Impossible themed photo shoot as he chases the World Title.

HHH vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Bam Neely is here with Chavo. HHH fights out of a headlock to start and elbows him in the face, which does not sit well with Chavo early on. Chavo’s arm wringing gets him punched in the face and HHH starts in on the arm. Chavo comes back with some right hands and Neely’s cheap shot sets up a crossface chickenwing of all things. That’s broken up so HHH hits the running knee. The spinebuster cuts Chavo off again and, after decking Neely, HHH grabs the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. Well at least the champion won for once, even if it was in another short match. Then again, it’s nice to have a showcase for the World Champion for a change as you don’t get to see that often enough. Chavo getting punished for trying to play Vickie and Edge at the same time was nice too and the match went well, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Michelle McCool/Cherry vs. Natalya/Maryse

Michelle takes Maryse down to start as Foley explains how to pronounce Maryse. A dropkick gives Michelle two and it’s off to Cherry for a Hennig necksnap. Maryse runs over to bring in Natalya, who easily slams Cherry. Natalya gets in a kick to the leg and grabs the Sharpshooter for the fast pin. Did they suddenly get a go home cue or something?

Post match Natalya beats up Michelle and suplexes her on the floor.

Jesse & Festus vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Jesse slugs away at Hawkins to start and stomps him down in the corner. Ryder comes in but so does Festus with the latter getting to clean house. Festus clears the ring and Hawkins and Ryder just take the countout.

Post match the bell has turned Festus into a zombie again so Hawkins and Ryder beat down Jesse. They were being scientific….until Jesse rings the bell so Festus can wreck the villains.

Video on HHH.

Stevie Richards vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Kozlov has gained entrance music and runs him over with a shoulder to start. Some knees to the ribs and a fireman’s carry put Richards down and we hit the bodyscissors. Back up and Richards hammers away, only to get headbutted down for the pin.

Edge yells at Chavo Guerrero until the Edgeheads come in. The argument keeps going until Vickie Guerrero comes in. If anyone else tries to help Edge, or if Edge walks out on the match, they’re fired.

Raw Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown.

Edge vs. Big Show

No DQ and Vickie Guerrero is watching from the stage. Show starts fast and takes him to the floor for a ram into the barricade. The announcers’ table takes too long to load up though and Edge gets in a quick spear as we take an early break. Back with Show cutting off a kendo stick shot and throwing Edge into the steps and over the barricade without much effort. Edge comes back with a bulldog off of said barricade and they both get a breather.

A kendo stick to Show’s head lets them go back inside, where Edge’s choke manages to take Show down again. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex but the chokeslam is countered into a DDT. Edge brings in a chair but charges a bit too hard, allowing Show to punch it into his face. For some reason that doesn’t know Edge silly and he’s back with a low blow. The Conchairto is loaded up but Show is up with a chokeslam. Show loads up his own Conchairto, only to have Vickie say stop the match. The bell rings and Vickie comes in to check on Edge.

Rating: C+. This felt like a house show street fight and that is probably something they have done more than once. The ending was more important though and that is going to lead to the next step in the rather long Edge/Vickie saga. Putting someone against Big Show is a pretty standard punishment, so everything here made sense, even if it wasn’t an instant classic.

Edge and Vickie reconcile to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The ending is the big story here as there wasn’t much else on the rest of the show. They did well enough with Edge and Vickie, but that’s about all there is on here, with even HHH not feeling that important. HHH vs. Edge/Vickie is a big time feud and having it take place at a mid level pay per view like the Great American Bash is certainly a weird choice. Smackdown needs another good story though as there just isn’t much going on around here.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Smackdown – July 4, 2008: They Did It Better Than Raw

Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2008
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Mick Foley, Jim Ross

We’re into the new reality around here as both Night Of Champions and the full Draft are done. There is only one World Champion after Edge lost his title to CM Punk on Raw, meaning HHH is once again on top. Other than that, we should get to see how some of the new stars mesh with what’s left of the old. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night Of Champions if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at the 4th of July and talks about how the wrestlers get to live the American Dream with live action fireworks.

Opening sequence.

We open with MVP’s VIP Lounge. MVP wastes no time in bringing out his guest, the still World Champion HHH. After a nice hello, MVP congratulates HHH on his win at Night Of Champions and welcomes him to Smackdown. It’s been a long time since HHH has been here but he is already a big fan of MVP. HHH appreciates the bling and the Power Ranger outfit that MVP wears when he wrestles.

MVP says it’s cutting edge technology and Olympians wear it to compete. HHH says that sounds like a performance enhancer and MVP might get thirty days off. With that shrugged off, MVP brings up that he makes more money than HHH, who could see how that would make some people angry. Not that it matters as he would rather be a 12 time World Champion rather than the biggest waste of money in Smackdown history.

HHH is out here to get a rub from MVP though and he has some special footage. MVP doesn’t like that, so he says let’s play footage instead. We get a recap of CM Punk winning the Raw World Title and retaining it over JBL in the main event, followed by a brawl with security to end the show. Back in the arena, HHH says Edge got Punked out and MVP says Edge got his punk card pulled.

The jokes continue until Vickie Guerrero, back in the wheelchair, interrupts. HHH wishes her well on her upcoming wedding. HHH: “Imagine: marrying the boss to get ahead. Who thinks up that kind of stuff?” HHH thinks she and Edge just need to go to Vegas because he knows a great drive thru place. You don’t even need to be conscious!

Vickie brags about Edge’s success against Batista, but HHH says looking at her, there are things Edge would do that HHH would never do. Vickie doesn’t get what he means but eventually tells him to shut up. Edge is on his way here and speaking of Edge, HHH will be defending the title against him at the Great American Bash.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria vs. Cherry vs. Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly

Star on a pole match with the winner facing Natalya, on commentary and now a redhead, for the Divas Title. A quick brawl to start leaves Kelly as the only one standing but Victoria knocks her off the pole. Cherry cuts Victoria off before Maryse has to knock Michelle down. A double electric chair drops Maryse and Cherry catapults Kelly into the corner. Victoria adds the slingshot flipping legdrop to Cherry and goes up. That’s cut off as well so Michelle kicks Maryse down and wins.

Rating: D+. What are you supposed to say about this? It’s the kind of match that is all about one thing and not exactly having much to do with wrestling. This felt like something out of another company and it really doesn’t fit with what they’ve been trying with the women in recent weeks. Michelle finally gets put into the title match, which is long overdue as she has been the obvious pick for a long time now.

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder come in to see Vickie Guerrero, who wants to know where Edge is. They don’t know, so she asks them about Edge losing the title on Raw. Vickie blames them both and gives them a match with Jesse and Festus. That’s a punishment?

Edge arrives and a lot of people look at him in silence.

Video on Vladimir Kozlov.

Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder vs. Jesse And Festus

Festus is dressed as Uncle Sam. Hawkins and Ryder jump Festus to start and are quickly shrugged off, setting up a middle rope Hart Attack. Jesse has to fight out of a double team in the corner but gets pulled into another corner to begin the beating. Hawkins grabs a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the neck crank. Jesse is able to get over to the corner for the tag to Festus so house can be cleaned in a hurry. With Hawkins sent to the floor, a seated senton and the fireman’s carry flapjack (with a great sell from Ryder) finishes for Festus.

Rating: C. This was in fact a Jesse and Festus match and that’s about as good as it’s going to get for them. The team isn’t overly interesting and the one joke of Festus losing it at the bell has long since used up its usefulness. It’s not like Hawkins and Ryder are great, but they’re a heck of a lot better than the other choice.

Post match Edge comes to the ring and beats on the catatonic Festus as Hawkins and Ryder make Jesse watch. Edge throws in a nasty chair shot to the head and stares down at Festus.

Post match Vickie Guerrero tries to calm Edge down but even the Great American Bash match doesn’t make it better. Vickie mentions giving him permission and Edge loses it, saying she doesn’t understand what is going on. He has been at this for sixteen years to the day but Vickie cuts him off, saying she is still his boss. She calls him a fool and Edge storms out.

Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison

Hardy shoves him down to start so Morrison grabs the arm to slow things down. Morrison gets sent outside and a slingshot dive….doesn’t launch as Hardy head fakes him instead, setting up a dive off the apron instead. Back in and Morrison hits a running knee to the face for two but the Flying Chuck misses. Hardy’s slingshot dropkick in the corner is broken up though and Morrison drops him out to the floor in a crash.

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on an armbar before blocking a Whisper In The Wind attempt. The armbar goes back on, allowing commentary to talk about Edge and Vickie Guerrero. Morrison cuts off a comeback attempt by sending him shoulder first into the post but Hardy counters a dive with a sitout powerbomb. Hardy fights up with some forearms and a cradle gets two. The Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two but Morrison Pele kicks him on top. The Moonlight Drive doesn’t work for Morrison though and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: B-. This was the “Hardy is here and he’s good on his own” match of the show. It worked well with these two showing the same chemistry they’ve had before, with Hardy showcasing his ability to fight from behind. Morrison feels good on his own too, making for a nice match.

Video on Maria.

Umaga vs. Funaki

Umaga wastes no time in knocking him into the corner and a superkick puts Funaki down as well. Foley even goes inter promotional by saying this is like Mark Henry beating up Colin Delaney on ECW. The running hip attack in the corner sets up the Samoan Spike for the squash pin.

Edge is ranting to Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder when he is told that Vickie Guerrero wants to see him. He goes to Vickie’s office, where she goes on about how she is going to be in the wheelchair with back problems for life (keeping in mind that she was standing earlier tonight). Edge says not to talk to her in that gibberish, so Vickie screams at him to GET OUT. That’s exactly what he does, with the door closing behind him. Edge walks a bit, then turns around and tries to get back in, but the door is locked.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and Bam Neely is here with Chavo. It’s a brawl to start with Matt running Kennedy over but Kennedy is back up with a kick to the face. Kennedy clotheslines Chavo in the corner but Benjamin is back up with a kick of his own. Chavo is back up to take Benjamin down, only to have Benjamin toss him into the air for a nasty crash. Matt and Kennedy put the other two down before knocking each other down as we take a break.

Back with Kennedy cleaning house as Foley compares this to Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. Everyone but Chavo is caught in a Tower Of Doom but Benjamin is up to suplex Chavo down. Neely distracts Benjamin though and Chavo gets to Three Amigos Matt. The frog splash gets two as Kennedy makes the save. Matt hits a quick Twist of Fate on Chavo before dropping Kennedy onto Neely. Benjamin comes in and gets Twist of Fated onto Chavo, with Matt pinning the latter to retain.

Rating: B-. I believe they call this a sprint, as they were packing in whatever they could for about ten minutes. The 4th of July aspect meant that this more or less had to be the main event and it was a good match as a result. Matt retaining is a fine way to go too, even if getting the US Title off of ECW is not a bad idea.

Here is Edge, without music, for a chat. Edge says this will be his first and last statement about what happened on Raw. He was attacked twice on Raw and now he is going to get the World Title back at the Great American Bash. Ever since he came in here tonight, he was feeling the disrespect, including from Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder, who should have been trying to make him happy.

He didn’t even receive the support of Vickie Guerrero, who should be there for him in his time of need. Therefore, Edge is going to let us in on some dirty little secrets, but here is a screeching Vickie (walking) to interrupt. She asks what Edge is doing so Edge walks up to her. Edge says the wedding is off, leaving Vickie to scream a lot and take off her ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good enough here (ignoring the stupid women’s match) and having Edge’s breakdown throughout the show made it work better. They have at least a main event set for the Great American bash and there is time to set up the rest of the card. Nice show here, as they didn’t have a bad lull after getting the new roster set up.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




ECW On Sci Fi – June 24, 2008: Hello And Goodbye

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 24, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,748
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s the night after the Draft and ECW didn’t exactly do well. Not only did they lose the ECW Champion, but Mr. Money In The Bank is gone as well. With Kane and CM Punk gone, they now have Matt Hardy back as well, but we are still on for Kane defending the ECW Title against Big Show at Night Of Champions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Million Dollar Mania, with Vince McMahon nearly dying at the end.

Teddy Long is in the ring to start things off and say that everyone in ECW has McMahon in their thoughts tonight. He can’t give out any information about McMahon’s status, but the show must go on. Therefore, here is the newest member of ECW, United States Champion Matt Hardy!

Matt Hardy/CM Punk vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Non-title. Matt armdrags Morrison down to start before it’s off to Punk. Miz comes in and gets kicked in the ribs so Matt can take over in the corner. Morrison manages to take Matt into the corner so Miz can take over and grab the chinlock. With that broken up, everything breaks down and Miz and Morrison get caught with running knees in the corner. Punk’s springboard clothesline is broken up for a crash out to the floor though and we take a break.

Back with Morrison hitting the slingshot elbow to Punk, whose back was bent over Miz’s knees. Morrison kicks Punk in the head but Punk manages a takedown on Miz. That’s still not enough for the tag though as Morrison is right there to cut it off and grab the chinlock. Punk fights up again and hands it back to Matt for the real house cleaning. The middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two on Morrison and everything breaks down. Morrison blocks the Twist Of Fate and kicks Matt in the face for two. Cue Hornswoggle to distract Miz though and the Twist Of Fate finishes Morrison.

Rating: C+. The match got some time and thankfully it wasn’t another clean loss for the champs. They’ve had a rocky time with the titles so far and losing to a thrown together team wouldn’t have helped things in the slightest. At the very least though, the ending helps with Sunday’s title match, which could use the help.

Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Extreme Rules. Kofi fights out of the corner to start but Benjamin runs him over with an elbow to the face. A suplex doesn’t work for Benjamin so Kofi hits a dropkick to put him outside. Naturally that means a dive to take Benjamin down again and they need a breather. Back up and Benjamin grabs the microphone to stagger Kofi, meaning it’s a whip into the steps to put him down again.

It’s time to bring in some weapons and a few shots put Kofi in more trouble. A trashcan to the head is blocked at first but Shelton just unloads on him with said can. Benjamin suplexes him onto the can and we hit the waistlock to stay on the ribs. Back up and Benjamin’s Stinger Splash is knocked HARD out of the air with a trashcan lid. More lid shots rock Benjamin even harder and Trouble In Paradise finishes for Kingston.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t a classic but it should serve as the big finale to their feud. These two have fought for a few months now and it’s nice to see Kofi getting the big win to end things. At the end of the day, Kingston feels like he could be moving up the ranks and it’s always nice to see some fresh blood. Benjamin knows how to make people look good in defeat and that was the case here.

We look at Mark Henry laying out Kane on Smackdown.

Raw Rebound.

Night Of Champions rundown.

Kane laughs a lot.

Mike Knox vs. Evan Bourne

Knox forearms him in the back to start but falls down, allowing Bourne to pick up the pace. Some kicks stagger Knox but he comes back with one heck of a clothesline. Knox grabs an abdominal stretch while pulling on Bourne’s leg to draw some nice screaming. Bourne fights out and hits a springboard kick before knocking Knox into the corner. A running spinwheel kick is cut off with a backbreaker though and Bourne is done.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to get very far but the hard clothesline made up for Knox’s weird start. I’m not sure I get the point in having Knox go over a newcomer like Bourne clean but there is a good chance we’ll be seeing a rematch. For now though, Bourne’s comeback worked well enough and he should be fine with that kind of speed and high flying.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and Big Show is on commentary. Henry powers him around to start and hammers away in the corner, which Show seems to like. A clothesline drops Kane rather quickly and a bearhug cuts off an uppercut comeback. Kane fights out and slugs away, setting up a running enziguri of all things. That lets Kane go up but he stops to look at Show, allowing Henry to crotch him down. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes Kane fast.

Rating: C. The bad night for champions continues as Kane gets beaten by a guest star. That being said, WWE has been pushing Henry in recent weeks and Kane is on his way out of ECW so this isn’t the worst thing. It wouldn’t shock me to see Henry wind up here with the title sooner than later, as they certainly had Kane put him over on the way out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a bit of a weird show as they were wrapping up a bunch of stuff but didn’t have many people on hand to replace them. Instead we got Miz and Morrison and Kane losing, though at least Hardy got a win on his first night. Kofi got a nice win as well so we’ll say the good outweighs the bad, but this show is going to need some help soon.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Monday Night Raw – June 23, 2008 (WWE Draft): Three At Once!

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 23, 2008
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 15,183
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s a big night as we have three things going on at once. We have a three hour show with the major focus being the annual Draft, with the focal point being that EVERYONE is available to be drafted. Other than that, Million Dollar Mania is still going so expect a lot of Vince McMahon. Finally, it’s also the last Raw before Night Of Champions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and hype up the idea of everyone being switched around.

HHH (Raw) vs. Mark Henry (Smackdown)

Non-title and it seems that the winning brand gets a Draft pick. Henry yells a lot and HHH looks nervous, with Henry running him over to make it worse. The headbutts rock HHH some more and Henry runs him over for an early two. A Vader Bomb gets two more and Henry grabs the neck crank. HHH finally slips out and tries some running forearms to stagger Henry. The facebuster sets up more right hands and the jumping knee finally puts Henry down. The Pedigree is countered into the World’s Strongest Slam for two but Henry misses the splash. That’s enough for the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C. There was only so much that HHH could do here and he made it work as well as possible. Henry is a big monster and the Pedigree was only going to look so good, but HHH trying to knock him down was a nice sequence. For a quick match, they did about as well as they could have, with Henry being a fine monster.

Drafted to Raw: Rey Mysterio.

Here is Vince McMahon to announce that tonight, five people will win $100,000 and one will win $500,000. Vince brings out Kelly Kelly to help him and they call a woman….who Vince says gives the wrong password. Kelly says it’s right though and gives us a celebratory dance.

HHH welcomes Rey Mysterio to Raw when John Cena comes in. Rey leaves so HHH can say he’s not losing to Cena again at Night Of Champions. HHH says nothing Cena has done matters until Cena beats him for the title.

Finlay/Hornswoggle (Smackdown) vs. Carlito/Santino Marella (Raw)

For a draft pick. Santino wants Hornswoggle to start and gets Stunned for his efforts. Finlay comes in and ties Santino up in the ring skirt for the beating. A Carlito cheap shot puts Finlay down though and the villains take over. Santino gets caught with the shillelagh and it’s the Celtic Cross into the Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Drafted to Smackdown: Jeff Hardy.

Hardy comes out to pose and we see the still injured Randy Orton watching backstage.

Vince McMahon brings out Randy Orton to help give away more money. First though, Orton warns HHH and John Cena that he’s coming back for the WWE Title. Actually that’s it for Orton, who isn’t in the mood to help give away money. Vince is in the mood to do that, but he’ll also give us a great main event tonight: Cena vs. Edge.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes (Raw) vs. Chavo Guerrero/Bam Neely (ECW)

For a draft pick and Ted DiBiase Jr. is on commentary to promote his dad’s book. Neely jumps Cody to start and the stomping is on in the corner. Chavo comes in but Cody escapes a belly to back suplex and hands it off to Holly as the crowd is almost eerily silent. Holly hits the hanging kick to the ribs but the Alabama Slam is broken up. Chavo headscissors Cody to the floor, only to walk into the Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Drafted to Raw: CM Punk. It’s about time.

Here is Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho is used to fans throwing trash at him, but he’s just waiting for Shawn Michaels to turn on the fans like he does with everyone else. We see a highlight package of Shawn turning on people over the years, including Marty Jannetty, Diesel, Hulk Hogan and John Cena.

Then we move into Shawn faking his knee injury, which has Jericho talking about all of Shawn’s lies. Jericho hates lies more than anyone else, save for maybe one person: the man who helped Jericho against HHH last week, Lance Cade. We see Cade on the Titantron, where he talks about how he was trained by Shawn Michaels and wasn’t going to give Shawn the chance to turn on him.

Jericho never lied to him, but now Jericho needs a person to face for the Intercontinental Title at Night Of Champions. It would have been Shawn, but we see Jericho massacring him. Cue Shawn, with his eye taped up, to go after Jericho. Shawn slugs away, until Jericho sends him eye first into the announcers’ table to cut him off immediately. That match is going to have some crazy heat.

We recap the Draft picks to date.

John Morrison/Miz (ECW) vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder (Smackdown)

Vickie Guerrero introduces Hawkins and Ryder, but recent developments have made her change her mind. Here’s the new match:

John Morrison/Miz (ECW) vs. Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy (Smackdown)

Non-title but for a Draft pick. Matt and Miz start things off as Cole talks about how great this was from Vickie Guerrero. Matt’s wristlock and headlock don’t get very far as Miz takes him into the corner for the left hands. That’s broken up as well so Matt hits a clothesline and hands it off to Jeff for Poetry In Motion. The slingshot dropkick hits Miz in the corner but Morrison gets in a cheap shot to take over.

Morrison grabs a chinlock and then it’s off to Miz for, uh, another chinlock actually. Jeff fights up but Miz runs him over again for two. A legdrop gives Miz two more and we hit a crossface chickenwing. Jeff fights up and nails a quick Whisper In The Wind to put them both down. The diving tag brings in Matt to clean house, including the Side Effect for two on Morrison. The middle rope legdrop connects but Morrison is right back up with a rollup (and tights) for the pin.

Rating: C. This felt like it was supposed to be a low level dream match but it was pretty dull for the most part. There were some good moments with Matt’s comeback working well, but you’re only going to be able to get so far with an eight minute match and a pretty abrupt ending. At least ECW got something though.

Drafted to ECW: Matt Hardy (with the US Title).

Vince McMahon recaps Million Dollar Mania and brings out Ric Flair to help him give away $100,000. Flair calls and the fan wins the money, plus a bonus WOO!

We look at Mickie James participating in the Dreams Take Flight charity event.

Mickie James/Melina (Raw) vs. Natalya Neidhart/Victoria (Smackdown)

For a Draft pick, but only announcers/interviewers are eligible. Natalya grabs a front facelock on Melina to start before a powerslam gets two. Victoria comes in and drives Melina into the corner but Melina rolls her up for two more. Back up and Victoria sends her off the top for a crash to the floor, where Melina looks banged up. Mickie goes over to check on her but the brawl is on for the double DQ.

Drafted to Smackdown: Jim Ross. To say he does not look happy with this would be an understatement.

Drafted to Monday Night Raw: Michael Cole.

Post break we see Melina being taken out of the arena as she seems to have suffered a rather bad leg injury.

Vince McMahon brings out Great Khali to plug his new movie Get Smart, which also features Dwayne Johnson. Khali calls someone who says “wrong number” and hangs up. Someone else answers, tells Vince to hang on and brings on someone else to give the password (Khali looks mad and yells a lot) but the guy wins (and sounds bored).

John Cena (Raw) vs. Edge (Smackdown)

Non-title but for a Draft pick. Jim Ross isn’t sure why he’s calling a match involving a Raw competitor (oh yeah this isn’t going well) as they fight over a lockup to start. Cena sends him into the corner but misses a running bulldog, allowing Edge to score with a big boot. Edge slugs away as Foley is handling most of the commentary. A hard clothesline drops Cena again as JR talks about how he didn’t expect to leave Raw tonight but that’s how the cards were dealt.

Cena comes back with a shot of his own for two but it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. It’s Cena up first to start the comeback until Edge escapes the FU into the Edgecution for two. The spear is countered into the STFU, sending Edge over to the ropes rather quickly. Edge goes up top but has to escape a super FU, allowing him to knock Cena outside. Cena catches him diving off the apron though and decks Edge, who takes the countout.

Rating: C+. These two always have good chemistry together and anything they do is at least worth a look. At the same time, the result was one of the only options they had, as you don’t want either of them losing heading into a World Title match on Sunday. They didn’t have much time here, but what they did was pretty nice while it lasted.

Post match Batista throws Edge inside for a beating.

Drafted to Raw: Batista. Well that’s convenient timing.

Post break Edge and Vickie Guerrero are glad with their win because Batista is out of their hair. Vince McMahon comes in to say the title match is still on for Night Of Champions. This might have had a bigger impact if Michael Cole hadn’t said the same thing before the break. Vince suggests Vickie and Edge could be split up and panic ensues.

MVP (Smackdown) vs. Tommy Dreamer (ECW)

For a Draft pick.  Colin Delaney is here with Dreamer, who gets punched in the ribs and kicked in the head to start. They trade right hands as commentary seems way off here, with Mick Foley joining in and talking about a Playboy Playmate. Tazz: “You know there is a match going on.” MVP misses a charge in the corner and gets hit with a bulldog. Not that it matters as MVP hits a running boot in the corner for the pin.

Drafted to Smackdown: Umaga. Cue Umaga to beat up Dreamer and Delaney.

Draft recap.

John Bradshaw Layfield (Raw) vs. Kofi Kingston (ECW)

For a Draft pick. JBL grabs a headlock to start but Kofi is back up with the jumping back elbow. With the jumping getting on JBL’s nerves, he kicks Kofi in the face to take over. Something close to a cobra clutch keeps Kofi in trouble and the clubbing forearms to the back make it even worse. The bearhug goes on but Kofi sends him into the corner to escape. A dropkick looks to set up the Boom Drop but the Clothesline From JBL finishes Kofi.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but there was something good about having Kofi using his weird style and JBL just hitting him in the face over and over. Kofi is still someone who is on his way up and needs to be in there against bigger competition. Fun little match here, and Kofi feels like he is on the way up.

Drafted to Raw: ECW Champion Kane.

Vince McMahon gives away more money…..and the fan happens to be here in the arena.

Night Of Champions rundown.

Battle Royal

Raw: CM Punk, HHH, Kane, John Cena, Batista

ECW: Matt Hardy, John Morrison, Miz, Chavo Guerrero, Shelton Benjamin

Smackdown: Big Show, Edge, Jeff Hardy, Great Khali, MVP

For two Draft picks and that’s one heck of a lineup. We’re joined in progress after a break and a bunch of people get together to toss Khali. Everyone looks at Show who tells them to bring it and then knocks a bunch of them down. Miz can’t get rid of Edge but Batista can get rid of Miz and Morrison at the same time.

Show and MVP send Punk over the top but not out as this is not the most thrilling stuff despite the names involved. Edge fires off some spears and we take a break. Back with Punk having been eliminated and HHH hitting a facebuster on Show. Matt gets the same thing and Jeff enziguris Chavo out. That leaves Matt as the sole ECW star as Benjamin seems to have been tossed during the break as well.

There goes MVP and we get the Hardys showdown. Jeff gets the better of things and kicks Matt out to officially finish off ECW. Edge and Batista both try spears and they’re both down in a heap. Jeff misses Whisper In The Wind and HHH knocks him out and it’s HHH, Cena, Batista (very bloody), Kane, Show and Edge left.

Batista spears Edge but gets punched out by Show. Kane is knocked out as well and it’s two vs. two. Show manages to suplex Edge and Cena at the same time, leaving everyone down. HHH and Cena get back up and dump Show but Edge knocks Cena into HHH to get rid of him. Cena is so shocked that Edge is able to toss him for the win.

Rating: C. The ending got better, but there were some long stretches with pretty much nothing going on here. That isn’t the best way to draw up interest in the match but at least the star power was on display. I was expecting ECW to win to finally get a little something else, though that would imply WWE cares about ECW in any meaningful way.

Drafted to Smackdown: Mr. Kennedy and HHH (Raw World Champion).

We go up to Vince McMahon, who gives away $500,000…..and then the stage collapses. Vince is crushed under a part of the set and yells for Paul because he can’t feel his legs to end the show.

Raw
Rey Mysterio
CM Punk
Michael Cole
Kane
Batista

Smackdown
Jeff Hardy
Jim Ross
Umaga
Mr. Kennedy
HHH

ECW
Matt Hardy

Overall Rating: C+. As you might have guessed, this wasn’t the most traditional show, as they were trying to do a lot of things at once. Between the Draft and the money and hyping up Sunday’s show, this was a bit too all over the place. The Draft was the big focus and some of the moves should shake things up a bit, though ECW is gutted even more than before. Above all else though, I feel sorry for Jim Ross, who gets treated badly again, because Vince McMahon enjoys it or something.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




ECW On Sci Fi – June 17, 2008: My ECW For A Draft

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 17, 2008
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

Things are still kind of sluggish around here, as we have Big Show set to challenge for the ECW Title but he has barely interacted with champion Kane whatsoever. Instead, Kane and CM Punk are still feuding with Miz and John Morrison, which isn’t exactly interesting stuff. Maybe they’ll find something new in next week’s Draft but that is still a long way off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Hornswoggle vs. Armando Estrada

No Finlay here with Hornswoggle for a change. The chase is on to start until Hornswoggle whips out a bag of marbles to make Estrada slip. Hornswoggle whips out a rubber mallet before running underneath the ring and escaping to the other side. Cue Finlay with a water gun, allowing Hornswoggle to hit a dive off the apron. Back in and the Tadpole Splash gives Hornswoggle the fast pin.

Post match Tazz asks Finlay what is under the ring. Finlay says leprechauns, hobbits and even people Tazz’s size. Tazz didn’t seem to see that coming so we’ll wrap it up there.

Layla danced during the break.

Evan Bourne vs. Matt Striker

Striker sends him to the apron to start and even catches Bourne in a top rope hanging DDT for two. The cravate goes on for a bit before Bourne fights up. What might have been a low blow cuts Bourne off but he gets his feet up in the corner. Bourne pulls himself up top and hits a shooting star press for the fast pin.

Post match Mike Knox runs in to hit Bourne with the spinning Downward Spiral.

Mike Knox vs. Kofi Kingston

Knox goes with the power to start but Kofi gets some boots up in the corner. It doesn’t really matter though as Knox throws him down and cranks on both arms at once. Kofi kicks his way to freedom and hits a dropkick, followed by the Boom Drop. Cue Shelton Benjamin to jump Kofi for the DQ. Well that was quick.

Post match the brawl is on but Shelton Dragon Whips Knox down by mistake.

Long look at this week’s Million Dollar Mania.

Finlay and Hornswoggle are in Teddy Long/Tiffany’s office for a contract signing. They sign, and get a Tag Team Title shot at Night Of Champions. Granted Hornswoggle signs with a big green marker and then goes after Finlay. That’s broken up but here is Miz to be incredulous about the title shot. Finlay drops him with a single shot.

CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Punk kicks away to start so Morrison hits him in the face. A high kick to the head gives Punk two but Morrison sends him into the ropes. Morrison grabs an arm and leg on the mat for some cranking. Back up and Morrison drives him into the corner, setting up a crank on the other arm and leg. Morrison drapes him over the top rope to stay on the ribs, followed by the seated abdominal stretch.

Punk fights up and tries the GTS but the ribs go out, allowing Morrison to drop him again. The bodyscissors goes on but Punk reverses into a giant swing of all things. Punk’s ribs are fine enough to snap off a powerslam and they’re both down for a bit. Morrison knees him in the face for two and loads up a springboard, only to dive into the GTS to give Punk the pin.

Rating: C+. It was nice to have a match that actually got a little bit of time here and Punk and Morrison’s chemistry made it that much better. I’m not sure if we need to keep going with Punk going after the titles, but at least they had a nice main event here. Punk is ready to go from ECW though and there is a good chance that the Draft will take care of that.

Post match Miz pops up to say Morrison is still a Tag Team Champion.

Teddy Long brings out Big Show and Kane for a showdown as this match is suddenly remembered. Show talks about their history together and promises to take the title again. Kane says Show has no idea what is coming for him but Show talks about how crazy he knows Kane is. Cue Mark Henry to say they better hope he gets drafted elsewhere, or he’s coming for the winner. Henry gets double chokeslammed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well that was quite the nothing show. I get that we are coming up on the Draft and the Show vs. Kane match, but this was a bunch of nothing until a good enough main event. I’m not sure how anyone thought this was a show worth presenting, but at least they should be shaking things up after next week.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Updated: WWE Releases 17 Wrestlers

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/breaking-wwe-releases-nine-wrestlers-including-former-world-champion/

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wwe-releases-eight-wrestlers/

Rick Boogs

Aliyah

Mustafa Ali

Emma

Top Dolla

Riddick Moss

Elias

Shelton Benjamin

Dolph Ziggler

Dana Brooke
Mansoor
Mace
Quincy Elliott
Bryson Montana
Yulisa Leon
Dabba Kato
Shanky

Their 90 day no compete clauses would be up on December 20.

Dang.  You knew something like this was coming but it is still hard to fathom that it actually happened.  At the end of the day though, most of these names aren’t surprising, as a lot of them haven’t been on WWE TV or used in any meaningful way in a very long time.  That doesn’t make it any better for them, but it’s also not so much of a surprise.




ECW On Sci Fi – June 10, 2008: Please Help

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 10, 2008
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

Things took a step back in time last week as it seems like we are on the way towards Miz/John Morrison vs. CM Punk/Kane again. That isn’t the most thrilling concept at the moment, but it isn’t like there is anything else going on. As usual, ECW feels pretty creatively out of gas but maybe they can change it up a bit in the Draft later this month. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne vs. Mike Knox/Shelton Benjamin

Bourne was formerly known as Matt Sydal and we get a quick insert interview where he gets to introduce himself. Knox and Bourne start things off with Bourne’s jumping kick not having much effect. Instead Knox takes him into the corner so Benjamin can come in for a clothesline. That earns Benjamin a jumping spinwheel kick to the face and it’s off to Kofi vs. Knox. Kofi hammers away in the corner and hits some dropkicks (this is a rather kick heavy match) but Benjamin’s distraction lets Knox come back with a heck of a clothesline.

Benjamin grabs the reverse chinlock but Kofi fights up and hits another dropkick. Knox is back in there to cut him off so Kofi kicks him a few times and gets over to Bourne. A pop up hurricanrana into a dropkick rocks Knox, who kicks Bourne in the face. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise, allowing Bourne to hit a top rope dropkick to a laying/seated Knox (that didn’t seem to go as it was supposed to) for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was a fun match but the kicks thing became a joke by the end. It’s still effective enough but that was more than a little weird to see. What matters is Bourne gets a nice start in WWE and Kofi gets to regain some of his momentum. Nice start here, and it’s nice to see some fresh names getting a chance.

A never before seen blonde is waiting in Teddy Long’s office when Armando Estrada comes in, looking for Long. He just stepped out, so Estrada brags about being the former GM. Long comes in and introduces the blonde as his new personal assistant Tiffany. Estrada wants a contract and gets a chance to earn one tonight if he can beat Finlay. Tiffany gets in the holla holla holla.

Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly

So Long’s catchphrase is holla holla holla and Kelly’s song starts with “holla holla” (or something close to it). That’s quite the theme. Victoria mocks Kelly’s stretching before the bell so Kelly sweeps the legs and gets some terrible right hands. Kelly tries to do it again and gets kneed in the face, allowing Victoria to send her shoulder first into the buckle.

We hit the chinlock, followed by a chinlock, and then another chinlock (Victoria might want to work on her variety) until Kelly fights up and grabs a headscissors out of the corner. A victory roll gets two but Kelly gets sent to the apron. Another headscissors is blocked with a simple shove on to the floor (for a heck of a face first bump)….and the referee calls it because Kelly is out. I guess it was a better bump than I thought.

Rating: C. The ending wasn’t quite what I was expecting but it does seem that Kelly is getting better in the ring. She’s still not great, but she is able to do some stuff that makes her look a bit more competent. Victoria is still one of the best hands around despite feeling like a relic from a generation gone by.

Finlay vs. Armando Estrada

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. Estrada jumps him in the corner to start and hammers away as well. Finlay gets a boot up in the corner though and the seated senton has Estrada in more trouble. The Celtic Cross finishes Estrada in less than a minute.

Post match Teddy Long comes out and says Estrada has another match right now.

Armando Estrada vs. Colin Delaney

Finlay gets in a shillelagh shot before the bell and Delaney hits a DDT for th pin in less than ten seconds.

Hold on though as Long has one more match for Estrada.

Armando Estrada vs. Hornswoggle

Tadpole splash finishes in less than ten seconds. Finishes for Hornswoggle if that wasn’t clear.

The three winners dance…and then Finlay hits Delaney with the shillelagh, apparently for Delaney giving him Hornswoggle’s hat.

Here is Mark Henry for a chat. He addresses Big Show’s challenge for a fight last week and says he’s here right now. Cue Show, and Henry looks rather shocked at these developments. Henry congratulates Show on becoming #1 contender and wants the first shot if Show wins, but for now he’ll settle for a handshake. They shake hands but Show doesn’t let go, because he knows what Henry is doing. If Henry keeps campaigning for an a** whipping, he’ll get elected. That’s enough for Henry to leave, with Show promising to win the ECW Title at Night Of Champions.

Tag Team Titles: Kane/CM Punk vs. Miz/John Morrison

Kane and Punk are challenging and Kane runs into Show on the way to the ring. Punk and Morrison trade hammerlocks to start until Morrison kicks him down. Miz comes in and gets elbowed in the face before Punk sends him out to the floor. Punk hits a slingshot dive to drop Miz again and we take a break. Back with Kane seemingly trying a cross armbreaker on Miz but Miz reverses into some forearms to a downed Kane.

They get back up and Kane hits a side slam but Miz gets in a cheap shot to bring Morrison back in. Morrison grabs the chinlock before Miz hits the running corner clothesline. Kane manages a backdrop and hands it back to Punk (who is holding his ribs after the dive before the break). Punk’s ribs are good enough to slam Morrison and fire off some knees in the corner. The snap powerslam gives Punk two but everything breaks down. Miz and Kane go outside and Morrison kicks Punk in the bad ribs. The Moonlight Drive retains the titles.

Rating: C+. Mr. Money In The Bank loses again as that tends to be the case far too often. The problem continues to be that these people have little to do other than face each other, but it does make me wonder why Big Show isn’t involved in this whatsoever. He’s the #1 contender to Kane but Kane is busy doing this instead. I’m not sure I get that.

Overall Rating: C. There are at least some different people involved in some things around here and that helps, but the main event didn’t do much in the way of keeping things interesting. Other than that you had more Estrada/Delaney stuff and Show vs. Henry teased, but at least Tiffany and Bourne are some fresh blood. The Draft needs to help this show, but I’m not entirely sure that is going to be the case. For now though, this could have been worse.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.