The pre-show match was another interesting comedy match. As I mentioned in the review, it helps a lot that Hornswoggle and Torito are capable of having a watchable match. There’s likely going to be a third match with an angry Hornswoggle on his own (or on his own soon after) wanting revenge and after their first two efforts have gone so well, I’m totally fine with that, much to my own shock.

The opening match was Sheamus defending the US Title against Cesaro. This was exactly what an opening match was supposed to be: a good way of getting the fans into a show. There are multiple ways to do that and having two guys beat the tar out of each other for about twelve minutes is one way to do that. It worked really well with both guys one upping each other until the very end. Cesaro looked great and didn’t lose much in the loss, as it’s Sheamus rather than like Kofi or someone beneath him.

Cody/Goldust lost to Ryback/Axel in a bonus match which was little more than a Raw match. The only point to this was to split up the Brothers and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Rusev went over Big E. in what was just a step above a squash. At least Big E. got to hit the big spear spot to salvage this. Nothing bad but it was exactly what was expected.

The Money in the Bank promo has talking money. It’s better than that same song again though.

Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston never happened as Kane interfered. Yeah it’ll be called a no contest, but when someone interferes and attacks one and only one of the people in the match, that’s a DQ. It won’t be remembered as such, but that’s what it was.

Barrett beat Rob Van Dam in another match that had a pretty obvious ending. That being said, it was still a nice back and forth match with both guys getting in a lot of their big spots. This is exactly what Van Dam should be used for: giving people a good match and then jobbing clean as a sheet. It was a step above a good Raw match and was fine for a PPV title defense. Barrett’s push continues, though it makes the loss to Sheamus all the more pointless.

Next up was Bryan/Stephanie/Brie over Bryan’s World Title. This was a well done segment as Bryan was ready to give the belts up and did the long look at them, but Brie stood up to Stephanie and said she was tired of being controlled. Brie wound up quitting and slapping Stephanie in the face before leaving. Given that the Bellas are easy to tell apart now, there’s not as much of a need for both of them to be on the roster anymore. Nikki will be fine with her shouts of COME ON to crickets. All the good people looked solid here and Stephanie got embarrassed so points all around. Bryan is still champion in theory but I don’t know how long that’s going to last.

This brings us to the first of the two main event matches. Cena beat Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. The match was a great brawl but the controversial point is the ending. At the end of the day, it felt more like Cena used his mind instead of brutality to beat Bray, even though the AA through the box was a big move. The problem is it goes against the point of the match. It’s nowhere near as anti-last man standing as the Batista duct tape nonsense but it didn’t work for me.

On top of that there’s the whole Usos/Wyatt Family interference, as the match basically stopped for the sake of a mini tag team match between the four of them. It was entertaining, but I lost track of where Cena and Wyatt were during the match. Either way, the brawling was good, the ending wasn’t great, and Wyatt continues to have awesome matches in the main event spots.

Paige beat Alicia Fox in a boring match. Fox’s push will likely continue but Paige shouldn’t lose the belt for awhile, especially not to Fox.

That brings us to the main event with Shield sweeping Evolution in an elimination match. This worked but could have cut out five minutes or so to make it much better. The big problem I had with this was the second section, as about ten to fifteen minutes were a waste of time. As mentioned last night, why in the world are they tagging when ANYTHING GOES? The worst part of this was when Orton is trying to stop a tag and gives HHH A FREAKING PEP TALK instead of breaking it up himself. The whole thing just didn’t make sense.

Now to be fair it got much better as the match went on and they got to the violence, but this really didn’t work for the first part. That kind of stuff drives me crazy, especially when you have smart wrestlers in there. It wasn’t like they didn’t know what they were doing and we had to hear about HHH being all Cerebral and smart, but then he doesn’t know that he can do whatever he wants?

The great stuff later on was solid though as Shield came off looking great. They flat out defeated Evolution last night and that’s all they were supposed to do. It was a really solid match with Reigns getting two of the pins, Ambrose getting the fall over Orton and Rollins getting the big spot of the match. Again, Shield looked like equals rather than people Evolution was reaching down to help. It wasn’t as good as it was supposed to be, but it worked well enough.

Overall Payback was awesome with the two main events more than delivering and the worst match being the totally watchable Divas Title match. What else can you ask for from a major PPV? WWE is in a weird place right now as they can nail the big shows but the TV is hit and miss to say the least. There’s a lot of hope for the future though and that’s more important than some lame Raws.

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Tonight is an interesting show for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, we’ll find out the fate of the World Title as Daniel Bryan has to either surrender the belt or his wife Brie is fired. Other than that we have Cena vs. Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match which is going to determine where Bray goes from here. The real main event is Evolution vs. Shield in an anything goes elimination match which should steal the show. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Hornswoggle vs. El Torito

This is mask vs. hair due to 3MB ripping off Torito’s tail on Monday. Torito is wearing a 2/3 shirt which is a reference I don’t quite get. A right hand drops Torito early but he ducks the next few and rolls over Hornswoggle’s back. Torito dropkicks him down and we get an airplane spin. Both guys are dizzy and they hit heads to put them both down. Hornswoggle is up first and is so dizzy that his splash lands about five feet away from Torito (on purpose).

Torito hits a spinning kick to the ribs for two and the kickout sends him into Charles Robinson’s arms. Hornswoggle covers as well and Robinson just lets him hit the mat. A gore to the back sends Hornswoggle outside and Slater goes after Torito’s horns but Hornswoggle knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. The big guys get into it and a series of dives puts them all down on the floor.

Hornswoggle wants to dive as well but it’s McIntyre clearing house beforehand. That’s fine with Hornswoggle though as he dives through the ropes like a bowling ball. Slater goes to the apron but Torito hits a top rope hurricanrana to send him onto the big pile. Back to the little guys in the ring and Torito hits a Bronco Buster but Hornswoggle counters another hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb for two. Hornswoggle pulls the mask off but there’s another underneath, allowing Torito to hit a Bullsault press for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t quite up to the standard of last month’s match but it was still funny and entertaining stuff. The key to these guys is they can actually wrestle a good match instead of just being out there for comedy. It’s not bad at all, but they need to worry about doing this too often. This match should be the blowoff and it’s fine.

The opening video is about how the whole world is sitting on a ticking bomb and it’s about to go off. The song is good and the visuals about everyone wanting revenge and payback make it even better. Only the two biggest matches get any focus as you would expect.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Sheamus is defending. This is due to Cesaro beating Sheamus but not shaking Sheamus’ hand post match. Cesaro also attacked Sheamus recently and injured his head which hasn’t been played up all that much since. Before the match, Heyman says he’s here to advocate for a Paul Heyman Guy. The fans chant for Punk but Heyman says Punk is over at the United Center watching the Blackhawks game. They’ll have their streak broken, just like Brock Lesnar broke the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman can get that in from anywhere.

Sheamus charges out of the corner at the bell and hits some running ax handles. Cesaro counters with a throw to send Sheamus down before nailing him with an uppercut. A boot to the side of the head puts Sheamus in the corner for some more uppercuts. Sheamus comes right back with the rolling fireman’s carry but Cesaro snaps his throat across the top rope to block the ten forearms.

The second attempt works a bit better though and the fans loudly count along. Sheamus adds in another ten for good measure. They head outside and Cesaro is sent into the barricade. Back in and the slingshot shoulder is countered with another uppercut. Cesaro pulls him back in with the apron superplex for two and Heyman is fired up. A tiger bomb sets up a double stomp for two on the champion. Sheamus is whipped into the corner but comes back with the Irish Curse for two. Cole finally brings up the head injury for the first time.

Three straight middle rope knee drops get two on Cesaro before he charges into a boot in the corner. Swiss Death works a bit better but Sheamus is out at two. This has been VERY physical so far. Cesaro slaps him over and over but Sheamus is all BRING IT ON. Sheamus slams him down but misses the Brogue Kick, only to get caught in the German suplex for two. Cesaro floats over but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for a close two.

The Cloverleaf doesn’t work but Cesaro dives into Sheamus’ arms and the hold is on. Cesaro crawls to the ropes and comes back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two more. The Swing returns and the fans are WAY into Cesaro again. Cesaro loads up the Neutralizer but Sheamus grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 11:36.

Rating: B. I can actually live with the way that loss went as Cesaro looked great and the psychology was perfect: they kept beating each other up with harder and harder moves but Sheamus went completely the other way and capitalized on the dizziness for the pin with a basic wrestling move. The fans were digging this and it’s a very solid opener.

Earlier tonight Cody Rhodes and Goldust agreed they would get the job done tonight.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Bonus match. Axel hammers on Goldust to start but gets caught in a quick atomic drop. Off to Ryback vs. Cody with Ryback throwing him around, only to get caught with a dropkick before it’s back to Goldust for a one count. Axel nails a running knee and sends Goldust into the corner as the heels take over. Ryback hits his middle rope splash before a double team arm wringer face plant puts Goldust down again. It’s time to work on the arm before a small package gets two on Ryback.

A handspring elbow of all things puts Ryback down but Axel breaks up the tag. Goldust takes him down as well with a modified powerbomb, allowing the tag to Cody. Rhodes cleans house and takes Ryback down with a springboard missile dropkick before dropkicking Axel out of the air.

The somewhat botched moonsault press takes both heels down for two on Ryback but the Disaster Kick is caught in mid air. Cody is thrown into his brother and the Meat Hook gets two. Goldust catches Axel in a powerslam and Cross Rhodes gets two on Ryback with Curtis making a save. Axel is sent outside again but the Disaster Kick is caught in Shell Shock for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C+. Yeah it was filler but it likely ends the team for good. Axel and Ryback are nothing special but they’re not bad for a low level heel team. I’d still like to see Ryback do something on his own and Axel, while still not good, is better than he was a few months ago. Nice match here and it’s hard to complain about extra wrestling.

Post match Cody says Goldust needs a better partner and walks away.

Rusev vs. Big E.

Lana does her thing and Rusev is now from Moscow and weighed in kilos. They both hit their running body attacks to start with neither guy going anywhere. A nasty release German puts Big E. down as the fans want Ziggler. Rusev hits a running splash in the corner but Big E. comes back with a kind of STO. Rusev gets back up on the apron and Big E. spears him through the ropes and out to the floor in a BIG collision. Big E. comes up favoring his arm but is still able to get two. The Warrior Splash is countered by the jumping superkick and the Accolade makes Big E. tap at 3:35.

Rating: C+. Another solid match here with Big E. getting to show off before jobbing to the new monster. That jumping superkick is just awesome with Rusev still making great contact despite getting off the ground. The spear through the ropes looked great too as they’re really playing up the physicality tonight.

Money in the Bank promo, featuring talking money.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

Thjs was announced on the pre-show and Dallas is now The Inspirational Bo Dallas. Bo talks about the Blackhawks losing tonight but Kane hits the ring as soon as the bell rings. Bo hides on the floor and Kane hits Kofi for the DQ at 34 seconds.

Kane destroys Kofi but Bo reminds us to BOLIEVE!

We look back at Hornswoggle getting his head shaved.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Barrett is defending and Van Dam won a Beat the Clock Challenge to get the shot. The Bad News of the night: not only is Van Dam not getting payback, after tonight he won’t be getting any paychecks. JBL thinks having three initials for a name is stupid, and Cole is quick to point out how stupid this is in case the fans are REALLY slow tonight. That kind of stuff is so annoying.

Van Dam wins an early slugout with some kicks for two but another one misses in the corner, allowing Barrett to take over. They head outside with Barrett getting caught on the barricade for the spinning kick to the back. Barrett throws him into the corner and catches Van Dam with a kick to the ribs before nailing the big boot to knock Van Dam back to the floor. The elbow drop off the apron crushes Van Dam even more and we hit the chinlock back inside.

Van Dam escapes a pumphandle slam and scores with the stepover kick to the face. The champion is sent into the corner and kicked down again, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. Five Star and Bull Hammer both miss and they fall outside one more time, where a Bull Hammer attempt hits post. Back in and Rob scores with a tornado DDT for two but walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: B-. I really liked this which surprised me quite a bit. Van Dam losing isn’t a surprise at all but that doesn’t mean they can’t have a good match anyway. Barrett is on fire right now and a clean pin over a former World Champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt that at all.

Long recap of Stephanie and Bryan’s segment from Raw. Basically Bryan either has to forfeit the title or his wife is fired.

Stephanie brings out Bryan and Brie for the big moment. The boss is of course her usual evil self and puts all of this on Bryan. If the two of them one day have some weird bearded babies, Bryan needs to be able to tell them that he wasn’t selfish and did the right thing. Bryan mentions how the fans reacted to Stephanie (cue more booing) and gives her a chance to change the fans’ minds. A CM Punk chant starts up but Stephanie says they want him to quit, just like CM Punk did.

She gives him the ultimatum again but Bryan wants to talk about Stephanie’s kids. They’re going to have to watch their mom be a selfish, narcissistic….what’s that word? Brie fills in the blank and says Bryan has to do the right thing. Daniel looks at the titles but Brie says hang on. She won’t be controlled by Stephanie and says she quits. Stephanie laughs at her so Brie slaps her in the face. Stephanie is STUNNED as Brie and Bryan do the YES chant.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena. This is the third match in a trilogy with Cena winning the first but Bray winning the second in a cage at Extreme Rules. The idea of the story is Bray wanting to show the evil inside of Cena and expose him as a fraud. Bray tried to attack Jerry Lawler on Monday but Cena and the Usos made the save. Tonight it’s a last man standing match.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Last man standing. Bray’s intro is extra fired up as he shouts that these fans are his people and staring Lawler down. The Family gets up on the aprons but the Usos run out to even things up. Cena knocks Bray down to start but Wyatt comes right back with a big right hand of his own. Bray’s shirt says Champion of Suffering. A running elbow puts Cena down and Bray picks him up for the dancing spot. John comes back with the running shoulders (Cole: “Cena wants to lead.”) followed by the ProtoBomb and Shuffle.

Bray runs him over again with a running knee to the ribs and demands a count. The running backsplash misses but Bray kicks off the STF and hits a release Rock Bottom for a seven count. Sister Abigail is countered but Bray runs Cena over with that cross body style move of his. Cena is knocked to the floor and Bray yells at Lawler some more. John has to fight out of a superplex and comes back with the top rope Fameasser for six.

Bray hits a quick Sister Abigail out of nowhere for eight before Cena hits a wobbly AA for seven, with Bray doing the Spider thing to break the count. The Family and the Usos start fighting with Jimmy hitting a HUGE dive to take the other three out. Bray hits Cena in the ribs with a chair and a second shot connects to the back. A third shot put Cena on the floor but he’s up at seven.

Bray misses a chair shot and drops the chair, allowing Cena to blast him in the ribs and back for good measure. Wyatt is back up at seven but Cena has brought in a table. An AA through the table is countered and Bray sends him through instead with the suplex slam. Cena is up at nine but a running shot with the steps puts him down again. Bray conducts the fans as they sing and stands on the steps to take a bow. This time it’s Cena with a chair shot and a steps shot to put Bray down. Cena’s elbow is bleeding a bit.

The cult leader rolls outside but Cena throws the steps over the top and RIGHT INTO BRAY’S FACE. I remember Kane doing that to Umaga many years ago but this looked far better. It’s only good for eight though so it’s time for a second table. We look at a replay and miss what looked like Sister Abigail on the floor. Cena is up at eight and a replay shows it was Cena jumping off the apron but getting caught in Sister Abigail.

Bray is whipped knees first into the steps but he backdrops Cena onto the steps. The running backsplash off the steps crushes Cena but he’s up at eight. Bray picks up the chair but charges into an AA on the floor. Harper and Rowan run back out to beat up Cena and get Bray back to his feet at eight. Back in and the Family takes Cena out again and load up a table but the Usos run out for the save. Harper stops a diving Jey with a table shot to the head (and a great thud) as Bray is laid out on the floor to no count.

Two tables are set up next to each other and the Usos are put down again. Jey is able to escape a fallaway slam and kick Rowan in the face before the running Umaga attack puts him through a table leaned against the barricade. Harper slams Jimmy off the top through the two tables. We haven’t looked at Cena or Bray in about two minutes now. Bray escapes an AA on the floor and cross bodies Cena through the timekeeper’s area.

They’re both up at seven and fight through the crowd with Bray getting the better of it. Cena is thrown off camera and something explodes. Cena seems to be fine and they slug it out on an anvil case until Bray is AA’d through a wooden box. John tilts another case on top of the box to trap Bray inside for the ten count at 24:18.

Rating: B+. I’m not feeling that ending at all but there’s more to talk about here first. I really don’t get why they had a mini match between the teams. Their feud is already set up and I’d assume we get a showdown for the titles tomorrow or at Money in the Bank at the latest. It really stopped the match and while it was cool, it didn’t need to be here.

That being said, the ending just doesn’t work at all. It really makes Bray look like a goon that got caught instead of a warrior of any kind. The match was really physical but there’s no need for Cena to win here. It stops Bray cold and doesn’t play to the idea of him being a hypocrite or anything like that. Instead he just lost after being even in physicality and then getting outsmarted by Cena being clever. Not a fan of this at all.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Paige is defending after getting pinned by Fox in a non-title match. A quick knee to the back puts Fox on the apron and a floatover suplex gets two for the champion. Paige hits her in the nose to possibly make Fox cry but she trips the champion up, driving her back first onto the apron. The announcers are of course in their own little unfunny world as the girls brawl on the floor with Fox slapping a clown in the audience. Literally, he has red hair and makeup on.

Back in and Fox takes Paige down while shouting that Paige wants to ruin her face. Fox cranks on a chinlock before laying on her back (JBL: “WHY ISN’T THE REFEREE COUNTING???) to bend Paige’s back over Fox’s knees. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker has Paige in trouble before Fox throws her to the floor. This match is dragging. Back in and Fox shouts RAIN for no apparent reason before Paige makes her comeback. She charges into Fox’s knee but shrugs it off and puts on the PTO for the submission at 6:35 to retain.

Rating: D+. It’s not bad but it felt like it went on for about fifteen minutes. They kind of booked themselves into a corner here as you couldn’t have Paige lose this early but it’s kind of a waste of Fox’s recent push. This is the better ending though as Fox has lost already and it advanced the character even more. Not bad here but it was in the middle of the two matches people wanted to see.

The fans tell Fox that she tapped out but she stomps her feet and demands silence. Fox finally runs off to the back.

The expert panel (Booker T., Alex Riley and Josh Matthews) chat for a bit.

We recap the main event. It’s a rematch from last month as Shield vs. Evolution has kept trying to one up each other for months now in an effort to prove who is the better three man team. This gets the music video treatment.

Evolution vs. Shield

Anything goes and elimination rules with falls having to take place in the ring. This is going to be insane and odds are I’ll miss a lot early on but I’ll do my best. Batista is in blue while his partners are in black for an awkward visual. Brawl to start as there aren’t any tags required here. Rollins and HHH are the only ones left in the ring with Seth hitting a quick enziguri to knock HHH to the floor. All six are already in the crowd or near the entrance way with Seth diving off the barricade to take HHH down.

Ambrose and Randy fight back to ringside as the power guys fight in the aisle. Rollins throws HHH back to ringside as Reigns sends Batista into the steps. Things settle down with tagging set up, despite it being anything goes and nothing stopping triple teaming. Shield takes over on Batista to start but he’s able to take Rollins into the corner for a heel beating. It’s quickly off to Ambrose though and a double snap suplex puts Orton down. Dean rips at Randy’s face and it’s off to Reigns for a headbutt to Orton’s back.

Randy comes back with an uppercut and it’s Batista in off the tag but getting popped in the jaw to a nice reaction. Back to Ambrose vs. HHH with the Game LOUDLY calling some spots. Dean hangs in there for a few seconds before it’s Reigns coming in. The fans seem very interesting in this showdown. HHH is quickly shoved down so he tries a slugout, only to be backdropped with ease. Rollins comes in for Three Amigos (and an Eddie chant) as HHH is in big trouble. Why Orton and Batista wait on the apron instead of helping isn’t quite clear.

HHH blocks a top rope something from Dean with a boot to the face and Evolution sends Ambrose to the floor to take over. Even Lawler gets in a shot at how out of place Batista looks in the blue. Orton comes in for the circle stomp and a mat slam gets two. Since this is such a serious match, let’s stop to talk about Bluetista being the #1 trend in the world with the announcers laughing. Ambrose sends HHH to the floor and Orton gives the boss a pep talk instead of STOPPING THE TAG. It works though as HHH gets back in for the save but the facebuster sends Dean into the ropes for his bounce back clothesline.

The hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house as everything breaks down. The apron dropkick nails Batista and the Superman Punch gets two with Orton making the save. HHH whips Rollins hard into the barricade and Ambrose gets posted. Everyone but Batista and Reigns head into the crowd and Rollins dives at HHH, only to get nailed in the head by a monitor shot from HHH. Reigns loads up the announce table but Orton saves Batista from immense pain. Orton finishes loading up the table and the TripleBomb crushes Reigns. Ambrose and Rollins are still down somewhere in the crowd and no one has been eliminated yet.

Referees come out to check on Reigns and Evolution does Shield’s pose, only to have Dean dive off the barricade to put all three down. Rollins hits the flip dive and crashes into the barricade to put everyone down. Ambrose hammers on Orton and the five still on their feet head to the entrance. Evolution is in full control with Reigns down and HHH blasts Rollins in the back with some chair shots. Orton drops Ambrose onto an open chair and Rollins is Pedigreed onto a chair as well. Reigns is all alone in the ring and Evolution slowly walks down the aisle.

The spinebuster puts Reigns down and the stomping begins. The steps are brought in and they rips Reign’s vest off. Orton throws in some kendo sticks and Reigns is laid across the steps for a caning. Batista and Orton get in their shots as this is turning into a torture scene. Now they want chairs but Reigns is to his knees. He jumps off the steps for a Superman Punch to Orton but HHH lays him out with the chair. Reigns falls to the floor and HHH hits him with the chair again.

They get back to the entrance and Ambrose is hiding behind part of the set. He springs out and attacks Evolution but he’s quickly put down by the numbers game. There are still no eliminations as Evolution surrounds Reigns. Rollins dives off the bottom of the Titantron to take all three of them down and all six are on the floor. Seth crawls back to the ring and everyone else crawls after him. Batista is in first and he spears Seth out of the air, setting up the Batista Bomb but Rollins escapes, allowing Reigns to spear Batista down for the elimination at 27:36.

An RKO out of nowhere gets two on Rollins with Reigns making the save. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT on Roman but Dean makes the save and hits Dirty Deeds on the chair to make it 3-1 at 28:43. HHH is left all alone but he hits Dean low to slow him down. A Pedigree looks to end Ambrose but Reigns hits the Superman Punch for the save. Batista spears Reigns down before leaving. Orton slides HHH the sledgehammer and Ambrose gets knocked cold. Rollins hits the top rope knee to knock HHH down though and the spear gives Reigns the final pin at 31:07.

Rating: B+. This was….long. It’s WAY better if you cut out the stupid tagging part that ate up fifteen minutes and just let them go to war. It completely misses the point of the match being ANYTHING GOES by making them stick to some structure that has no enforcement at all. The stuff after that was really good but it took too long to get there. Shield pitching a shutout should end this feud for good and hopefully it does, as there’s just no reason for them to fight again. It wasn’t as good as I was expecting due to the first half, but the stuff to end it was really good.

A lot of highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This was a really solid show all around with only the decent Divas match being close to bad. Everything else was anywhere between solid to awesome with the two main events being really good stuff. Payback has been awesome both years it’s been around, despite being a glorified B show. I really liked this though and the whole thing delivered far better than I was expecting. Great stuff.

Results
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Small package
Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Shell Shock to Rhodes
Rusev b. Big E. – Accolade
Kofi Kingston b. Bo Dallas via DQ when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
John Cena b. Bray Wyatt – Wyatt couldn’t answer the ten count
Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO
Shield b. Evolution – Spear to HHH

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We’ll start with the preshow as always. This is one of the obvious matches as there’s no way they’re unmasking Torito and take away any money they could get from selling bull masks. Hornswoggle can leave 3MB and start getting evil to promote the Leprechaun movie. The match should be fun though as both guys can actually work a match.

I’ll get the other obvious match out of the way: Rusev destroys Big E. for his first meaningful win. No questions here.

Paige retains the Divas Title. She’s too big of a deal to not get the belt here, and are people really going to complain about Alicia Fox having a push wasted? I could go for her in those white shorts again though.

Barrett beats Van Dam. There’s just no reason for RVD to win but the match should be entertaining enough.

I think Cesaro vs. Sheamus goes to a draw and Sheamus keeps the belt. Hopefully they’re not tying Cesaro down to the US Title and let him get the briefcase or maybe even the title. Either way it would seem he’s heading for a match with Brock so why give him a worthless midcard title? The match should be good though.

That leaves us with the two main events. I’m hoping Bray beats Cena, as Cena beating him for three seconds was bad enough, but keeping him down for ten seconds would just be horrible. Bray winning would allow him to do a bunch of crazy stuff that could be very interesting. I’m really not sure where he’s going, but it’s in a bad direction if Cena beats him. Also it’s not like Cena hasn’t lost a last man standing match before so this isn’t the biggest stretch in the world.

Finally, Shield almost has to beat Evolution. There’s just no reason for Evolution to win here as they have nothing to gainand with Batista likely leaving, it would be a good way to get him out. The elimination and anything goes rules should make things even more entertaining.

For a bonus, I think Bryan hands over the title, even though it means sitting through a lot of stupid drama that involves the Bellas and Stephanie getting WAY too much screen time. Bryan can bring the acting at times though and he’ll likely get a lot of time to do so tomorrow night. I still think the title goes above the ring at Money in the Bank, which should be a good way to get some people to care

Overall Payback looks predictable but entertaining. To be fair, that’s almost the same thing that was said about Wrestlemania and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. This has a lot of potential to be awesome and hopefully it means we have a good summer to look forward to.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s the final show before Payback and every major match is firmly set up for Sunday. The main story coming off Raw is Daniel Bryan having to surrender the title on Sunday or have his wife Brie Bella get fired. If nothing else we should get a solid conflicted promo tonight, which should be good coming from someone like Bryan. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Shield to get things going. Rollins says what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so after Monday, they’ve never been stronger. We get a clip from the end of Raw and Evolution beating Shield down thanks to the sledgehammer, including a TripleBomb to put Reigns through a table. Ambrose says they don’t care how many times they get beaten down because they’ll keep fighting. The question is how crazy is Evolution willing to get because this is going to get really ugly. Seth says he’ll pin Randy Orton and a stretcher will take him to the back. Then they’ll eliminate Batista, and it’ll be HHH against all three of them.

We see a list of great Intercontinental Champions.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

A hard shoulder puts Kofi down early so he tries an armdrag. Cesaro doesn’t move and instead lifts Kofi up off the mat by the arm into a backbreaker. A gorilla press puts Kofi down again but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits a springboard right hand to the head. Kingston gets two off a kick to the head (JBL: “How do you not notice those fluorescent feet coming at you?) and goes up for cross body, only to dive into an uppercut for the pin at 2:57.

Cesaro Neutralizes him post match.

Barrett says he’ll beat Sheamus tonight to prove a point to RVD. The International Title is more prestegious than the US Title.

Paige vs. Tamina Snuka

Non-title. Alicia comes out almost immediately and takes pictures with fans. Paige loses her focus, allowing Tamina to headbutt her down to take over. Fox takes the title belt for another distraction, so Tamina kicks Paige’s head off for two. Paige gets all ticked off and fires elbows in the corner, followed by fast clotheslines and knees to the face. The Paige Turner sets up the Scorpion Cross Lock (PTO: Paige’s Tap Out) for the submission at 3:22.

Rating: C-. Now this is more like it from Paige. Instead of getting beaten up for most of the match and then making a big comeback at the end, Paige beat the tar out of Snuka for most of the match before making her tap out with ease. That’s the kind of win she’s been needing to show that she isn’t just a fluke.

Sheamus says Cesaro not shaking his hand is like feeding a Gremlin after midnight. He doesn’t know much about geography or continents, but he knows when the US Champion’s foot connects with the Intercontinental Champion’s face, it’s going to knock Barrett’s teeth down his throat.

Bo Dallas vs. Xavier Woods

Dallas starts with an armdrag and heads to the floor to celebrate. Woods grabs him but gets sent out to the floor as it’s all Bo so far. Back in and a knee drop sets up a cravate on Woods but he comes back with a clothesline and a dropkick. The Honor Roll (flipping clothesline) gets two for Woods but Bo dropkicks him out of the air, setting up the Bodog for the pin at 2:47. JBL: “It’s not 3-0. It’s 3-Bo!”

Bo does the big celebration and congratulates Woods on such a hard fought effort.

We look at the Wyatt/Cena/Lawler segment from Raw.

Video on Torito having his tail ripped off on Monday. This made me smile.

El Torito vs. Jinder Mahal

Torito has Brutus Beefcake style hedge clippers. He looks for his tail after the bell before focusing on the match. A dropkick to the leg sends Mahal into the corner and we get a chase scene. There’s a bit of cotton where the tail is growing back. An atomic drop hurts Torito really badly due to the wound but he’s able to come back with a sunset bomb, setting up the Bullsault (why not?) for the pin at 1:40.

The little guys have a showdown post match and Hornswoggle runs from the clippers.

We see a list of great US Champions to set up the champion vs. champion match next. The Intercontinental Title list really did blow this one away.

Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title and Heyman is on commentary and has now stretched the Streak to a twenty five year accomplishment. Cole asks Heyman which title means more and gets this great response: “Whichever is next held by a Paul Heyman Guy.” Barrett hammers away in the corner to start before taking over with a running clothesline. Bad News comes back with that cool spot where he sets himself up for a superplex but jumps down and spins into a snap suplex for two.

Sheamus’ ten forearms are broken up and Barrett knocks him to the floor for a running elbow off the apron. Back in and a running clothesline drops Barrett, followed by the rolling fireman’s carry. Barrett gets knocked to the floor and Sheamus takes him down with a shoulder from the apron. Sheamus takes too much time though and gets whipped into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock and nailing his running ax handles followed by the running knee lift. Sheamus charges into an elbow in the corner though and a loud low superkick gets two. An Irish Curse gets Sheamus out of trouble and the ten forearms to the chest have Barrett in trouble. White Noise is escaped though and Winds of Change get another close call. Wasteland is countered and a Brogue Kick gets the pin at 7:12 shown of 10:42.

Rating: C+. Good brawl here but again a champion, who has been on fire recently, has to get pinned. On top of that, Sheamus’ head injury from Friday was only mentioned on commentary and didn’t change anything in the match. Barrett looked good here but I don’t see the need to have him lose here. Do a double countout or something like that instead of a clean pin, but fixing that is a long lost cause in WWE.

Sheamus goes after Heyman post match but Paul talks his way to safety.

The Usos are banged up from their match on Main Event where they lost to the Wyatt Family. Tonight it’s Jimmy vs. Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match. They give a solid, fired up promo about throwing the rulebook out the window tonight.

We look at Titus O’Neil beating up Big E. a month ago.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neil

Points to them for remembering an issue between these two. Big E. comes out with the American flag due to what happened with Rusev on Monday. The match for Sunday is official. Also before the match we get the usual from Lana, this time running down the American flag and saying Russia has the true red white and blue flag. Rusev comes out for his Russian speech and Titus uses the distraction to jump Big E. That lasts a few seconds before Big E. comes back with a belly to belly suplex and the running body attack. The Warrior Splash sets up the Big Ending for the pin at 1:11.

Big E. waves the flag like a Real American.

Adam Rose vs. Jack Swagger

This doesn’t make the pay per view? Colter is on commentary and Swagger gets a jobber entrance while we look at what happened between these two on Monday. Colter wants Rose deported and the party people arrested for impersonating human beings. Rose runs around with the lollipop in his mouth to start and offers it to Swagger. Jack charges but is easily sidestepped before Rose jumps into Swagger’s arms. Swagger has no idea what to think and bails to the floor where Rose quickly follows. Back in and Jack tries a monkey flip but Rose dives forward to pull Jack’s legs forward for a pin at 2:18.

The Raw ReBound covers the Bryan/Stephanie segment from Raw.

Bray Wyatt vs. Jimmy Uso

Last man standing. Bray hammers on Jimmy in the corner to start before running him over with a shoulder block. A dropkick puts Jimmy on the floor and a big dive takes him down again but Bray is quickly back up. Back from a break with Bray hitting a running splash in the corner but Jimmy fires off some right hands. Bray plants him with his suplex slam and hammers away, only to walk into a Samoan drop.

That doesn’t keep Bray down either but he gets low bridged out to the floor. Jimmy tries a running dive off the barricade but Wyatt ducks underneath, only to walk into a huge superkick for seven. Back in and Bray hits that running cross body, followed by the Spider Walk out of the corner. Jimmy headbutts out of a superplex and nails the Superfly Splash for a count of eight but Bray is mad.

He throws Jimmy out to the floor but the Uso catches him with a jumping enziguri. The running Umaga attack against the barricade has Bray in big trouble but he uses the steps to get up at nine. The Family takes out Jey but Jimmy nails Wyatt with another superkick, only to have another Umaga attack hit the steps. Sister Abigail on the floor is good for the win at 12:03 as Bray hangs upside down from the apron and counts along.

Rating: B. This was WAY better than I was expecting as Bray was actually tested a bit. I don’t think anyone in their right mind expected Jimmy to win here but they made something out of it and that’s the best thing you can do in a match where the ending is fairly obvious. This was a very nice surprise and a good sign for the Usos’ futures.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty standard go home show with a solid main event. Almost every match got some build and that’s really all you can ask for out of this kind of show. There’s nothing on here worth going out of your way to watch, though the main event was solid stuff. Other than that though, there are too many short matches here to really work for me.

Results
Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Uppercut
Paige b. Tamina Snuka – Scorpion Cross Lock
Bo Dallas b. Xavier Woods – Bodog
El Torito b. Jinder Mahal – Bullsault
Sheamus b. Bad News Barrett – Brogue Kick
Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending
Adam Rose b. Jack Swagger – Bridging cradle
Bray Wyatt b. Jimmy Uso – Uso couldn’t answer a ten count after Sister Abigail on the floor

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The reaction I’ve seen to last night’s show seems to be that it was one of, if not the worst episode of all time. This blew my mind as it may not have been the best show in the world but it couldn’t have been THAT bad. Let’s get to it.

Later in the night, Bryan came out and said he could give up the title, but it would be a slap in the face of everyone that had ever cheered for him while admitting that the Authority had been right. He said he wouldn’t do it, but Stephanie brought up a clip of Brie Bella shoving her a few weeks ago. If Bryan doesn’t give up the title on Sunday, Brie gets fired.

This is one of those moments that made perfect sense and sets up the drama that you need for the segment on Sunday and the moment will be good. I’m not sure where they’re going to go, but I can’t imagine Bryan is going to keep the title with him possibly being out all summer. At the end of the day they’ll probably put it up in Money in the Bank and that makes perfect sense for this situation.

The other good thing to come out of the opening segment was Brad Maddox being fired as Raw GM. Maddox isn’t terrible as a personality and has a future as a backstage guy or commentator, but there’s no need for anyone to be Raw GM right now. With the Authority around, anybody as Raw GM is going to look worthless. The GM’s have been worthless for eight months or so now so getting rid of Brad and eventually Vickie won’t hurt at all.

The first match was Cesaro beating Rob Van Dam thanks to Bad News Barrett interfering. This is my normal complaint: the #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title gets pinned six days before his title shot. Sheamus ran out to beat up Cesaro post match, making me see what they should have done: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Barrett/Van Dam. At least with Van Dam he’s over to the point that a loss isn’t going to hurt him. Also Cesaro is getting that German suplex over as a secondary finisher which is a rare thing anymore.

Next up was the first of two Divas matches and I’ll look at them one at a time. First up we had Eva Marie pinning Summer Rae due to a distraction by Fandango and Layla. Eva and Summer have been feuding on Total Divas, which you need to watch to get the details. On the other hand you have Summer and Layla feuding because of something that happened on Raw. This leads to a problem with the Divas and Total Divas. The latter feud shows the problem with this.

If you watch Total Divas, you see the logic behind why Summer Rae screwed over Eva in the tag match on the show: Eva is terrible. She can’t wrestle, she’s there because of a reality show and how she looks in shorts, and she would drag down any team she’s in. It’s stupid, but at least it makes sense. That being said, we’re supposed to cheer for Eva because she’s some young tough girl that is trying to achieve something. We’re of course supposed to ignore how evil she is on the show.

On the other hand we have Summer chasing after Fandango, but if you watch Total Divas you would see them going on a date “in real life”, and them having ZERO chemistry and agreeing to just be friends. But now this is their “wrestling” life and there are feelings and a breakup there.

In other words, you need to watch Total Divas to understand one story but if you watch the show, the other story isn’t going to make sense. Hence the problem with the whole show.

Now we get to a match that was causing some issues with fans. El Torito beat Drew McIntyre, which fans called ridiculous, stupid and not believable. I don’t even know where to start on this. Time for a list!

1. Drew McIntyre hasn’t won a singles match on WWE TV since September 2012 when he won on Superstars. His last singles win on Smackdown was in March 2012 when he beat Hornswoggle. His last singles win on Raw was FOUR YEARS AGO. Drew McIntyre is a jobber. He’s been a jobber for years, he’s going to be a jobber for a long time to come, but because he loses ONE MATCH, it’s ridiculous? Yeah it’s to a comedy character, but that brings me to point #2.

2. Drew McIntyre is part of a comedy stable. 3MB is nothing but a comedy group and has been since the day they debuted. They’re in a war against a group that is only slightly more serious, and the real story is about a leprechaun vs. a half man/half bull who just had a WeeLC match with mini announcers and a mini ladder. But none of this works because a guy that hasn’t won a match on Raw in four years lost to a comedy character isn’t ok. Santino uses a freaking sock to beat a former World Champion, but Torito pins a jobber and the people are calling it completely unrealistic?

3. Where was this OUTRAGE when Torito pinned Slater on Smackdown a few weeks back?

4. Did I mention the pin on Drew wasn’t clean? Even still though, it’s time to freak out because a comedy character pinned a jobber.

Then Hornswoggle pulled off Torito’s tail, setting up a mask vs. hair match on Sunday. Is it stupid? Yes. Is it goofy? Yes. Is it for children? Yes. Is it something anyone should be mad about? Of course not, but they will anyway. I actually smiled at this a bit as they’re coming up on a match that actually makes sense in the feud. It’s cute and on a free show so why not?

That brings us to the big Wyatt promo this week. Bray did his usual stuff of calling Cena a hypocrite before moving over to Jerry Lawler. Jerry didn’t getin the ring but the Family beat up JBL and took Lawler into the ring. Bray asked Jerry if he had any issues with lying about Cena’s career and never bringing up anything that questioned Cena. Lawler didn’t mind, but the Wyatts threatened to attack him until Cena and the Usos made the save. Cena called Bray a hypocrite for attacking an innocent man who disagreed with what Bray thought.

This was the thing that WWE has needed to do for months now: have Bray do something evil. For months and months all we’ve been told is that Bray Wyatt is evil, but he hasn’t really done anything evil. Until people see him do something evil, like attacking a legend who had a heart attack live on TV two years ago and is in his early 60s, there’s no reason to boo him. Now people are seeing what’s behind the evil smile and there’s a reason to boo him. Notice the fans cheering for Cena as soon as he pointed all that stuff out about Wyatt. It can work.

Rusev beat up Ryder until Big E. made the save and waved the American flag on Memorial Day. Yeah Big E. is going to get mauled on Sunday in the yet to be advertised match, but this worked well and made Big E. look good for awhile. Speaking of looking good, I swoon over Lana more every time I see her.

Stephanie was talking to Alberto Del Rio about nothing that ever came up again.

Batista/Randy Orton beat the Rhodes Brothers in an elimination match. This didn’t mean anything and the elimination rule was thrown in at the last minute. The match made perfect sense and made Batista and Orton look good.

Bo Dallas beat Sin Cara just like he did on Smackdown. He isn’t great in the ring, but Dallas’ character is going to be amazing if they use him right.

Emma beat Alicia Fox in a nothing match. Post match, Alicia freaked out (again) and shouted that she was NOT a loser while ringing the bell and pouring soda over herself. I have no idea if this is going anywhere but Emma winning was rather questionable.

Then Damien Sandow dressed up as Davy Crockett and lost to Adam Rose. This is a hard one to defend so I won’t try, but I have no idea why anyone expected Sandow to remain a serious character. Rose and Swagger continued their feud with Rose getting the upper hand again. I’m also not sure why Rose didn’t debut against Swagger on Sunday.

We got the same Sheamus match we always get: Sheamus gets beaten up, there’s no reason for him to win, then he hits a Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin. Post match he was attacked by Cesaro to set up an injury angle though so maybe he loses the belt on Sunday.

The final segment of the night was the contract signing between Shield and Evolution. First and foremost, let’s look at the contract itself. This is a picture of what was on the paper last night.

It’s the go home show for Payback and the main story coming into tonight is the announcement of the future of the WWE Championship. You would think they would wait until either Payback or the night after so the focus wasn’t taken off the pay per view but it’s WWE and they would never do something stupid that would cost over a billion dollars in a day right? Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional Memorial Day montage. That’s always cool to see.

Here’s a gloating Authority to open things up. Stephanie talks about how Bryan has to do the right thing. “Yes, you know he’ll do what he has to do.” The Authority wasn’t happy about what’s happened here and didn’t want to be right on this one. The fans want to see the champion defend the title every night but right now Daniel Bryan can’t do that.

HHH says Bryan needs to make the right choice and how there are people in every generation that adapt to become legends, but there are people like Daniel Bryan who just can’t do it. People that don’t adapt fail and those that do thrive, and that is evolution. This Sunday, the Shield will find out that you can’t stop Evolution. There’s a contract signing tonight and the Shield will have the chance to adapt and not show up on Sunday, or sign and perish.

This brings Stephanie to Brad Maddox who needs to come out here right now. Maddox finally comes out and HHH just rips into him. Last week, HHH said only official people could be out here, so Brad made the Shield “official” commentators. Brad implies that he was beaten half to death but Stephanie doesn’t want to hear it. Here’s Kane and HHH knocks Brad down. She tells Kane to teach him a lesson and after a few seconds, Kane plants Maddox with a chokeslam. A tombstone is added as a bonus and Stephanie fires him.

Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

Cesaro vs. Sheamus for the US Title on Sunday. It’s also now called Payback pay per view with Cole ramming that down our throats every two seconds. Barrett comes out before the match and says it’s officially summer and Van Dam’s is going to get off to a bad start. Cesaro jumps Van Dam from behind as Barrett sits in on commentary (“Look it’s me it’s me it’s BNB!”). A gutwrench suplex puts Van Dam down but he comes back with a clothesline to put Cesaro on the floor. The moonsault from the apron is caught in midair and Van Dam is dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro covering four times in a row off something we didn’t see. Van Dam fights back with a kick to the face and Rolling Thunder for two as Heyman is getting nervous. Cesaro falls outside and gets caught with a dive but Van Dam has to kick Barrett in the jaw (looked awesome). Back in and Van Dam kicks Cesaro down, setting up the split legged moonsault for two. Barrett offers a distraction though and the German suplex is good for the pin on Van Dam at 9:34.

Rating: C+. The match worked but here’s my usual complaint about the booking: why would you have Van Dam take a fall here? Put Sheamus/Van Dam vs. Barrett/Cesaro and do a double countout or DQ or something like that. Don’t have anyone get pinned before the matches on Sunday so no one looks bad. Why is this so complicated? I will give them points for establishing the German suplex as another finisher.

Sheamus runs out for a Brogue Kick to Cesaro post match.

Eva Marie vs. Summer Rae

Eva takes over to start and blows kisses into the crowd. Summer hammers away in the corner but gets thrown down by the head. Eva is rammed face first into the mat a few times as the fans chant for Daniel Bryan. Cue Fandango and Layla to distract Summer, allowing Eva to grab a horrible rollup for the pin at 1:57. I had the entire previous sentence written other than the time as soon as Fandango’s music started.

Goldust and Cody Rhodes come into HHH’s office to find out why they’re not on the show tonight. They find Batista and Orton instead. Trash is talked and a match is made. HHH has another idea for the match but doesn’t say what it is yet.

El Torito vs. Drew McIntyre

Torito draws a line on the mat but crosses it himself. Drew tries to throw him into the air but gets caught in an armdrag. McIntyre easily slams him down and shoves Torito around the ring as this is one sided. Los Matadores break up a superplex and Drew gets slammed onto the buckle, giving Torito the fluke pin at 2:28.

Post match Horny goes after Torito’s mask but settles for his tail instead. JBL: “THE HUMANITY!” Torito runs away in shame.

After a break Torito gets an ice pack.

Here are the Wyatts (in Tennessee because they can’t say Knoxville for some reason) with a message for the Cenation. First up though, it’s time to sing. Those words have never been truer because the world really is leaning on him. He only wants what’s best for everyone, but sometimes that’s not the easiest path. In this life, we all have to make sacrifices. We do that every day, just so we can feed our children while someone else tells us who to be and how to act.

Someday everyone will realize how pointless that is and one day we have to receive the anti-vemon for that snake bite. Bray asks if he’s the poison or the cure. He’s the necessary evil that the world needs and in the end if you’re his brother or sister, you will stand right beside him. But if you’re his enemy, you will fall at his feet. John Cena is enemy to us all and at Payback, Bray will be the last man standing. However, Cena shouldn’t be the only man punished. A Cena chant starts up and Bray just laughs at it.

Bray says to get to the kings you have to go through the pawns. This brings Bray to Jerry Lawler of all people. “Come on Jerry. I don’t bite.” Jerry shakes his head so Wyatt sends the Family after him. Bray tells JBL not to play hero or he’ll be next. Bradshaw gets up anyway but Harper runs him over. Rowan shoves him into the discus lariat and Lawler is directed into the ring.

Jerry sits in a chair in the ring as Bray says Lawler is responsible for a lot of Cena’s fame. For years, Jerry has fed the fans all these lies about John Cena being a great man, but never once has Lawler questioned his morality. Bray asks if Lawler feels any remorse over this and it’s time to pay the penalty. The Family grabs Lawler and Bray leans over in the corner. Here’s Cena but Bray is holding Lawler in the corner. They get Cena down as Bray says he’s going to hurt Cena at Payback. First though, it’s Sister Abigail to Lawler, with Bray saying it’s all Cena’s fault. The Usos make the save before it can happen though.

Cena and company clear the ring and John grabs the mic. Bray shouts that he’s a god and Cena wants to know if Bray thinks about this stuff. He quotes Abraham Lincoln by saying you can test a man by giving him power. Bray has been given power and it’s made him sick. Wyatt tried to hurt a sick man because they don’t agree on something. That’s not a necessary evil but just pure evil. A Cena chant breaks out as Cena says he believes in what he does. If the Wyatt Family likes it or not, Bray Wyatt needs to be stopped. Payback is about being the last man standing and John will bring Bray to justice.

Lawler and Cole are on commentary by themselves now.

Zack Ryder vs. Rusev

Ryder brings out an American flag to make the squash all the more painful. Before the match, Lana talks about how American patriots are embarrassing and require disciplinary actions. Zack tries to hammer away but is taken down by a single shot. Lana almost immediately says crush and the Accolade ends Ryder in 36 seconds.

Big E. runs out for another save attempt but gets stomped down in the corer. This time though Big E. fights back with the running body attack and clotheslines Rusev to the floor. The Stars and Stripes are waived for the feel good moment.

Stephanie is talking to Alberto Del Rio about something we can’t hear.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Batista/Cody Rhodes

Batista drives Cody into the corner to start before doing the same to Goldust. Off to Orton who gets rollup for two before it’s back to Cody. Randy takes him into the corner with ease and hammers away before it’s back to Batista as Evolution takes over. A big elbow to the jaw puts Cody down but he escapes a powerslam and dives to the corner for a tag. Goldust tries to fight back but Randy gets in a shot from the apron, allowing Batista to nail a spinebuster for two.

Back from a break with Batista working on Goldust’s back until Goldie nails some right hands to both villains. Not that it matters much as Big Dave takes him down with a big clothesline for two. Goldust nails a cross body and makes the tag off to Cody as things speed up. A springboard missile dropkick gets two on Orton and Batista gets dropped as well, but Orton catches the Disaster Kick with an RKO to knock Rhodes silly. Another RKO is good for the pin on Cody at 10:05.

Actually we’re not done yet because this is an elimination match, meaning it’s now Batista/Orton vs. Goldust. It’s also no holds barred to make it even more fun. Goldust is surrounded on the floor but comes up swinging. That goes about as well as you would expect and Evolution starts taking their time. Goldust backdrops Orton to the apron but walks into a spear. The RKO lays Goldust out again and a Batista Bomb is good for the pin at 13:25 total.

Rating: D+. I thought they were going with the elimination rules here and it makes sense going into Sunday. Imagine that: making a team look good going into a match instead of having someone in the match get beaten six days before the big match. The Rhodes’ split seems to take a week off tonight as there were no issues at all here.

Bo Dallas vs. Sin Cara

JBL is back on commentary and says he’s never been hit that hard in his life. Bo takes over with a headlock and goes outside to celebrate. Back in and a hard whip into the corner gets two on Cara and some knees to the face lead to another celebration. An enziguri puts Dallas down and that snap Angle Slam looks to set up the Swanton. Bo is up quickly though and hits the Bodog out of the corner for the pin at 2:53.

Bo says you get satisfaction from trying and you all need to BOLIEVE!

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Stephanie to say the future of the WWE Title has to be decided but first of all, we need Daniel out here to do the right thing. Bryan comes out with his neck in a soft brace as Stephanie says that Bryan needs to do the right thing. He can’t defend the title right now and that’s what the fans deserve, so do what needs to be done. Bryan says that winning the title means the world to him but Stephanie has a point.

The neck injury is worse than he thought and a large part of that is due to Kane. However, Bryan finds it interesting that Stephanie claimed she had no power over Kane but earlier tonight she was able to tell him what to do with ease. Bryan says he’ll be back and there’s no shame in handing the title over. However, Stephanie has been wanting to do this since he won the title and handing them over would just prove her right.

Daniel says it would throw everything he’s worked for out the window and be an insult to everyone who ever changed YES. Therefore, he says NO, he won’t hand her the title. Stephanie shows us a clip of Brie Bella shoving Stephanie a few weeks ago. That’s not ok with Stephanie, so if Bryan doesn’t surrender the title on Sunday, Brie is fired.

Alicia Fox vs. Emma

Fox is getting the title shot on Sunday. Emma sends her into the corner to start for the Emma Sandwich and Fox rolls outside. She says she doesn’t need this and goes to leave but nails Emma as she goes after Fox. Emma gets draped over the apron and caught by the ax kick for two. Fox misses a charge into the corner and gets pinned at 2:28. Well that happened.

Fox beats up Emma post match and shouts that she isn’t a loser. This week she rings the bell a lot and shouts about it again. A tech guy gets beaten up and Alicia rips his underwear up. This just kind of keeps going as Fox pulls some sodas out from under the ring. She shakes them up and a few drops get on the tech guy. Fox pours a soda on herself and kisses the tech guy she went after earlier.

Long video on the veterans.

Davy Crockett vs. Adam Rose

It’s Sandow for reasons that I really don’t care to know. This is Rose’s in ring debut in WWE. Sandow is wrestling in a coonskin cap and sends Rose into the ropes. Adam leans back and kicks his feet forward so Sandow can’t come near him. Here are Colter and Swagger, who have kidnapped the lemon from Rose’s party. The distraction doesn’t work though and Sandow gets caught in the Party Foul (Diamond Cutter driver) for the pin at 1:40.

Rose takes out Swagger post match.

Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Sheamus takes over to start and gets an early one off a middle rope knee. There are the ten forearms to the chest and the fight heads outside. That goes nowhere at all so Del Rio catches Sheamus with a few boots as he comes back in and we take a break. Back with Del Rio jawing with the referee before Sheamus fights back with right hands. The running ax handles drop Alberto but Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post.

A hard kick to the head has Sheamus in trouble but he comes back with the Irish Curse for two. Del Rio kicks him in the head again but gets caught in White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but stops to hold his head. Del Rio hits the corner enziguri and the low superkick (SICK) for two. The armbreaker is countered and the Brogue Kick is good for the pin at 9:20.

Rating: C. This is the annoying thing about Sheamus’ booking: this makes Del Rio look weak. He hit every huge move he could and in theory he should have won the match. That being said, it’s better to have Sheamus win to keep him strong before Sunday, but it’s still rather annoying to have him get the win with a single move.

Post match Heyman pops up and says that wasn’t an important win (but it was when Brock Lesnar conquered the Streak). Sheamus goes after him but Cesaro comes back and destroys Sheamus with hard shots to the head. Sheamus can’t even stand up and is finally kept down with the Neutralizer.

Here’s Shield for the contract signing. Ambrose says this isn’t going to be a normal contract signing as Reigns is throwing the chairs and table out of the ring. Evolution comes out and HHH reminisces about Shield signing their first contracts here. HHH thinks they shouldn’t sign because it’s their death warrant. Shield of course signs and throws the contract to Evolution who does the same. HHH says Shield is just going to be a statistic but Reigns shushes him. “Get in the ring and fight.”

The war is about to start but Shield easily sends them to the floor. Rollins hits his flip dive but Batista takes Ambrose down. That only gets him the Superman Punch but HHH gets in a sledgehammer shot to prevent the spear. More sledgehammer shots put Reigns on the floor and his teammates are put down as well. A TripleBomb puts Reigns through the table and Evolution stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was trying but you could feel the heavy hand of McMahon messing with things. It felt like a huge infomercial instead of a wrestling show and while that’s logical for a go home show, it got really annoying in a hurry. Between Cole saying “Payback pay per view” every 18 seconds to explaining EVERY SINGLE IDEA EVER and how so and so was the #1 TRENDING TOPIC IN THE WORLD and the World Title scene being about Stephanie (I’m shocked too), this felt like they were taking things too seriously again.

WWE does this time to time and it gets annoying. Sometimes it’s ok to lighten up a bit and they’re far from that at the moment. You have the concussion stuff with Sheamus, Fox losing her mind and everything else being the most important thing in the world on Sunday (again, not a bad thing to do). All of that makes it hard to stay with a show.

There was good stuff on here though. More than anything else, Payback got some much needed matches added to the card to really flesh things out. A lot of logical matches were added and I’d assume Big E. vs. Rusev is coming too. It’s definitely not a bad show but they really need to calm down a bit and stop with the taglines.

Results
Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam – German suplex
Eva Marie b. Summer Rae – Rollup
El Torito b. Drew McIntyre – Pin after Drew fell off the ropes

Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Batista/Randy Orton b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes – Batista Bomb to Goldust
Bo Dallas b. Sin Cara – Bodog
Emma b. Alicia Fox – Rollup

Adam Rose b. Davy Crockett – Party Fowl
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick

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Bray Wyatt opened Raw with another awesome promo, talking about how he’s going to end Cena’s fairy tale at Payback. He also went on about how a teacher told him he was evil but having the whole world in his hands is his redemption. His payback if you will. Cena ran out and hit a quick AA on Wyatt after outsmarting the Family. This was fine as Cena went at Wyatt physically instead of mocking him, which works far better.

I love Bray’s promos where he talks about his past and childhood because they’re just creepy and cryptic enough to make you wonder what in the world he’s talking about. It isn’t really clear and that’s why they work as well as they do. Bray isn’t the kind of character that should have his whole story fleshed out and it wouldn’t work at all if he did.

Cesaro beat Sheamus in a match that got on my nerves too much for two guys I like. At the end of the day, it’s the same story: have a guy beat a champion to set up a title match, because Cesaro beating up everyone on the roster isn’t a good enough setup or something like that. Think about it. Cesaro: “I’ve beaten up so many people lately that I’ve run out of people to fight.” Sheamus: “I’ll fight him.” No instead let’s have another champion lose to set it up instead.

The Beat the Clock Challenge was nothing special but I like it better than having someone beat Barrett. The matches were nothing to see because of time but RVD is an acceptable choice. The fans wanted Ziggler but Dolph losing to Barrett would have made them roll their eyes even harder so Van Dam was probably the best option out of the six.

Summer Rae returned (looking GREAT) to go after Layla for stealing Fandango. Again, giving the Divas stories is a good thing and we haven’t had women fighting over a man in awhile now.

Stephanie saying the title isn’t vacated but that Bryan will have to surrender it isn’t the worst idea in the world. You knew it wasn’t going to happen on a taped show when you thought it about of course. I don’t know how they’re going to fit a title match onto Payback with Monday being the last Raw, but Shield vs. Evolution would be a better main event anyway. Stephanie is AWESOME when she’s just being an evil jerk by the way. Her face when the fans chanted NO was great.

Rusev beating up 3MB was fine. Lana continues to be the real star of the act though.

Cena and the Usos pounding their chests was apparently from Wolf of Wall Street. I haven’t seen that yet so this was totally bizarre. The explanation doesn’t really help, but I’d prefer that over everyone pointing and pounding into my head that it’s from Wolf of Wall Street.

Speaking of Evolution vs. Shield, Rollins looked awesome against Batista. I’ve said it many times before, but power vs. speed is the best combination you can have in a match. Again, the key to this whole thing is Shield looks like equals against one of the biggest and most dominant factions ever. Having HHH interfere was a good idea as you don’t want either team jobbing before the big showdown.

Making the six man an elimination match is a good idea as well as it gives Evolution a chance to show that they’re better individually while keeping Shield looking strong. At the end of the day, any member of Shield losing to any member of Evolution isn’t a knock on them as losing to a former World Champion isn’t a step down for the most part. Making it no holds barred is even more awesome as it leaves the door open for a big showdown at the third show.

The Divas Champion lost as well because we need to push Alicia Fox all of a sudden. Why I have no idea, because AJ vs. Paige is coming soon enough. That was a really bad way to have Paige lose her first match, as Fox is a former champion but not a memorable one. It’s hard to put into words but there’s a difference between someone like AJ being a former champion and Fox being a former champion if that makes sense. It’s like saying Paul Orndorff and Hulk Hogan are both in the Hall of Fame. In that sense they’re equal, but being realistic it’s not even close.

The Adam Rose segment was awesome as the fans were way into his character. Him beating Swagger is better than running through 3MB or whatever he was going to do. I don’t get why WWE allegedly looks at him as a failure, as I’ve liked him since he debuted.

Harper vs. Cena was the usual good match between these two. WWE has done something very good with Wyatt vs. Cena: they have a match where neither guy could conceivably lose. I can’t picture either guy staying down for a count of ten, meaning (as long as it’s not a draw) that we’re in for a surprise at Payback. I could have done without the cliched knockout and count to ten ending though.

Overall Raw was a good show as they focused on other stuff to make us forget that there isn’t an active World Champion at the moment. Shield vs. Evolution is a very hot feud and Bray vs. Cena can be if they play their cards right. The PPV has a chance of being awesome if they don’t screw things up, which I’m somewhat optimistic that they won’t. Good but not great show this week.

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Today is the Devil’s Favorite Demon with Kane.

Dynamic Duo vs. Matt Hardy/Jason Arnhdt

Snow and Jason get things going with Al hammering away before hitting a nice shwwlbarrow suplex. Off to Unabom (yes it’s spelled that way here) for a powerslam, setting up a superkick from Snow. Al misses a cross body and makes the tag to Matt (yes that) Hardy) who is launched into the corner. A clothesline/German suplex combo is enough to easily pin Hardy. Total squash.

Kane would be performing in the WWF around this time, as Isaac Yankem, D.D.S. He’s an evil dentist you see. He’s also Jerry Lawler’s evil dentist and is helping Lawler in his VERY long war with Bret Hart. From Summerslam 1995.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

You might know Yankem better as Fake Diesel, who you might know better as Kane. Isaac’s music is made up of dentist drills which is rather creepy. Bret wants to know if he has to fight an evil chiropractor next. The fans lose their minds for Bret, which makes you wonder why he’s fighting A FREAKING DENTIST. Isaac grabs him by the throat and sends Bret into the corner to take over early. This is his debut so Bret isn’t sure what to do with him.

Bret’s right hands in the corners don’t get him anywhere but he avoids a charge and takes Yankem to the floor with some clotheslines. A plancha takes Isaac down and a middle rope clothesline looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Isaac blocks. Instead a backslide gets two for Hart, only to have Isaac throw him into the ropes and tie up Bret’s arm. The hard whip into the corner puts Bret down and the ropes look pretty loose. Yankem stomps Bret down in the corner and puts him on his back for a choke but Hart counters into a small package.

Lawler rants about having to kiss Bret’s feet after a previous match and is thrilled when Isaac clotheslines him to the floor. Bret is rammed back first into the post and the selling is the mastery you would expect it to be. Back in and Yankem hits a top rope Fameasser for two and a pair of clotheslines for two. Bret knocks him to the floor and sends him into the steps before getting two off the bulldog back inside. The backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but Lawler breaks up the Sharpshooter.

Bret is sent into the steps again as Lawler is playing cheerleader. Yankem loads up the top rope clothesline but Bret slams him down and pounds away in the corner. Bret trips Yankem up and ties the legs around the post to stomp away before going after Jerry. Isaac escapes and dives off the top onto Bret before tying his head up in the ropes. That’s finally enough for the referee and he throws the match out.

Rating: C. This took time to get going but you could see the potential in Yankem. The problem is he was a gimmick wrestler in the vein of T.L. Hopper and Repo Man: you can only go so far with one idea. That’s why Kane was the idea that worked: it was a character that could evolve and had more than one idea to him, thereby making him interesting and someone with staying power. That’s why WWF in 1995 was so terrible: they were all about the dull one note characters and the interest never was there.

He would spend over a year in that stupid dentist gimmick before FINALLY getting away to do something new. Unfortunately it wasn’t much better. The next stupid gimmick for Kane would be as Fake Diesel, who teamed with Fake Razor Ramon. This somehow got them a Tag Team Title shot at In Your House 12.

Tag Titles: Diesel/Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

This is the story that I didn’t want to get to earlier on but I’m stuck with it now. No these aren’t the real Hall and Nash returning, but rather people that JR brought in and who are being used as something resembling a parody of the guys who were on top of the wrestling world at this point.

Originally JR talked about how the person didn’t actually matter and the gimmicks were what got Hall and Nash over, which is actually a nice jab at them. That didn’t last long though and eventually became a basic parody, though Rick Bogner (Fake Razor) looks like he’s wearing a Razor Ramon costume and mask. Glenn Jacobs (Fake Diesel) actually looks like the real thing from behind and when he’s wearing sunglasses, making him far more bearable in the costume. We’ll be hearing from Jacobs again in a few months.

As for the match, the idea is that the champions are having problems because Steve Austin has been messing with their heads. Diesel starts with Owen as JR gets into full analytical mode now that some of his buddies are in there. Diesel drives Owen into the corner and fires off some elbows before shoving Owen off the ropes. Owen comes back with some right hands but gets slammed down with ease. Two guys from Mexican wrestling company AAA named Pierroth and Cibernetico are in the aisle to distract the Bulldog for some reason.

Off to Bulldog vs. Razor with the latter doing a pretty decent imitation of the real Razor’s mannerisms, but the whole thing falls apart as soon as you see his face. Bulldog fires off some forearms as the AAA guys leave, only to be replaced by Austin. Bulldog hits a quick cross body but goes to the floor to get in a fight with Austin. Steve is taken to the back but the distraction allows Razor to hit a spinning right hand, sending Bulldog into the corner for a tag off to Owen.

Hart gets a quick two off a missile dropkick but Diesel pulls the top rope down to send him out to the floor. Diesel rams Owen back first into the post before sending him back in for an armbar from Razor. Off to Diesel for a sidewalk slam but he stomps away instead of covering. Ramon comes back in and hits a pumphandle fall away slam for two before grabbing a reverse chinlock. The fans are almost entirely behind the champions, despite them being huge heels at this point.

Diesel gets two off a big boot (which clearly missed by several inches) but the fans all think he sucks. Owen gets a boot of his own up in the corner and takes Diesel down with a nice enziguri. There’s the hot tag off to Bulldog who cleans house with clotheslines and forearms all around. A quick vertical suplex gets two on Razor as everything breaks down. Owen is whipped into Diesel who catches him in midair but Bulldog dropkicks his partner in the back, sending them both to the floor. Owen slides back in to spinwheel kick Razor in the face to break up a Razor’s Edge attempt and score a quick pin to retain.

Rating: C-. As stupid as the gimmick was, the match wasn’t too bad at all. Diesel was actually very solid in the ring and would be around for many more years under a different gimmick. Razor was just kind of there though and the match was definitely weaker when he was in the ring. Not bad stuff for the most part though.

Nearly a year later, we FINALLY got the gimmick that worked. At the end of the first Hell in a Cell match, the Undertaker’s brother Kane debuted and cost him the match. This had been teased for months until Kane finally arrived, making for one of the best debuts ever. Undertaker refused to fight at first though, leaving others to try their luck. Here’s Kane’s first match in the WWF, from Survivor Series 1997.

Kane vs. Mankind

The brawl starts immediately on the floor with Kane throwing Mankind into the steps. Kane has the red lights ala Sin Cara during his matches at this point. With Mankind half dead in the ring, Kane does the corner fire deal and the match starts. Mankind fights up and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. Kane knocks him right back down and throws the steps at Mankind’s head to take him down one more time. Back in and Mankind charges into a big boot and Kane chokes away in the corner.

Kane sends it to the floor again and beats on Mankind some more, but Foley hot shots him onto the steps to slow the monster down. A chair to the head knocks Kane back into the ring and there’s a piledriver, but Mankind goes after Bearer instead of Kane. Kane sits up and chokeshoves Mankind off the apron and through the announce table. The Spanish one of course.

Kane loads up a chokeslam on the floor but Mankind kicks him low (which only works on Kane on occasion) and DDTs him on the concrete. The elbow off the apron hits Kane again but Kane sits up and slams Mankind off the top to the floor. Back in and Mankind literally pulls himself up to his feet and is immediately tombstoned for the pin.

Rating: C+. When you have a new guy you want to put over, you call Mick Foley. This is a match you have to think about to get why it worked. First and foremost, Kane is supposed to be a monster who has very little experience in the ring. Think of him like Jason from Friday the 13th or something like that (Youtube Jerry Lawler vs. Jason. It’s EXACTLY what it sounds like and it actually exists) as someone who just wants carnage instead of wanting to be technical. These two beat the tar out of each other and it made Kane look unstoppable. That would continue for about five and a half months until the Dead Man came back.

After a LONG wait and Kane lighting Undertaker on fire, the showdown finally took place at Wrestlemania XIV.

Here’s Pete Rose to be ring announcer. After getting a warm reception, Pete turns heel on the audience and rips on them for losing for so long. Pete sounds a bit drunk here but not too bad. He makes fun of the Red Sox and there go the lights, cuing Kane. We debut a three year long running joke of Kane beating up Pete, this time with a Tombstone, sending the crowd into delirium. There go the lights and it’s time for the mother of all Undertaker entrances. Druids come out carrying torches and we hear music that sounds like Gregorian chanting. Undertaker walks out under a tunnel of fire and we’re ready to go. AWESOME.

Undertaker vs. Kane

There’s the bell and they stare each other down before Taker pounds away with no effect. Kane shrugs them off and LAUNCHES Undertaker into the corner but Taker is too quick. Kane comes back with a clothesline but Taker immediately sits up. A tombstone doesn’t work for Kane so he puts Taker in the Tree of Woe and stomps away. This is only Kane’s second match in the company to date so we don’t have a lot to go on with him.

A clothesline in the corner puts Undertaker down again as Bearer talks trash. Kane draps him over the top rope and there’s a forearm to the back of the head. Back in and Kane pounds away in the corner but Undertaker covers up. Taker gets a running start at Kane and winds up on the red one’s shoulders, only to be (kind of) slammed face first into the mat. They head to the floor with Taker being dropped face first onto the barricade. A Paul Bearer distraction lets Kane drop the steps onto his brother’s back.

Paul gets in some stompings before Kane suplexes Taker back in. Taker says bring it on and hits a few clotheslines, only to charge into a chokeslam for two as Kane pulls his brother up. We hit the chinlock for over a full minute before Undertaker fights up with punches to the ribs. A back elbow puts him back down though and an elbow drop sets up another chinlock by Kane. Taker fights out of that one as well, only to try to crotch Kane on the top rope. That doesn’t quite work though as Kane bounces on the top rope and falls to the floor.

Instead here’s a Taker Dive but Kane throws him through the Spanish Announce Table in a spectacular crash. Back in and the top rope clothesline gets two for Kane and Bearer is shocked. Taker loads up a Tombstone out of nowhere but gets countered into one by his brother but it only gets two. Kane is TICKED so they slug it out with Taker getting the better of it.

A clothesline puts Kane down and there’s a chokeslam by Undertaker. The Tombstone hits Kane but it only gets two. You can hear the fans gasp at the kickout. There’s another Tombstone but THAT just gets two so Taker goes up for a top rope clothesline. The third Tombstone FINALLY ends it, even though Kane would have been up at 3.1.

Rating: C-. I’ve heard this called terrible and yeah it’s bad, but it’s definitely not horrible. They would have been better suited cutting out about two minutes but even without that missing this was still a solid power match. It was clear they were getting winded by the end, but this is one of the matches where the crowd carried things. There’s nothing wrong with that and it worked well here. Nowhere near as bad as I remembered it.

Post match Kane lays out Undertaker again, blasting him with a chair a few times. A tombstone on the chair leaves Taker out cold.

The performance was good enough for Kane to get a WWF Title shot at King of the Ring 1998.

WWF Title: Kane vs. Steve Austin

I remember a buddy of mine once saying he wondered why Austin didn’t come out with a needle or something and poke Kane for the win. They covered that and it’s a good thing they did as it was a great point. Crowd pops like CRAZY for Austin. He had a staph infection in his elbow so it’s incredibly taped up. Austin is in the air for the Thesz Press before the bell finishes ringing. Naturally this is no DQ so the belt shot in the first few seconds is fine.

The only skin on Kane that’s visible is his left hand. I beat Lawler to that line again! This is reminiscent of the tables match with Cena and Sheamus as Kane doesn’t actually have to get a clean win on Austin but he can get the title, which is brilliant. And here comes the Cell. The cage stops about 8 inches above Austin’s throat which is kind of scary when you think about it.

I really hope that’s padding on Austin’s elbow and not a result of the infection as it’s probably the size of a brick or so. Austin’s back is bleeding a bit which is why I think they put in the it has to be a lot of blood clause into it, just in case of something like that. Now the Cell is going up just as Austin is in control. In a cool looking spot, Kane is caught on the door frame and is raised into the air.

That’s really awesome looking. We see Vince in the luxury box with Sable which gets a lot of heat. Dang the crowd loves Austin. Austin is dominating here and he hits Kane in the face with a fan. That has to hurt. There goes the referee which is pointless as it’s no DQ. Kane hits that top rope clothesline to put Kane down. Vince apparently can see from a box perfectly well. That strikes me as odd.

We keep hearing that if Kane loses he’ll set himself on fire, more or less confirming that he’s winning. However, the body suit could say otherwise. Here’s Mick Foley of all people. And here’s the Cell again. Yeah that’s a pad on his arm as some of the tape came off. Kane takes a Stunner and here’s Taker with a chair. He swings for Foley but hits Austin who is also holding a chair, knocking it into his face.

And Austin is bleeding as Taker throws the referee back in. Taker, ever the nice guy, pours the gasoline at ringside on the referee to wake him up. Austin gets a SICK chairshot to Kane and the referee rings it and as the fans see his face they almost go silent. The booing for Kane being announced as the new champion is insane. We cut to Vince who mouths the words I told you so to Sable as we go off the air.

We get bonus footage of after the show and I mean right after it as Kane’s music is still playing when it starts. The referee is out cold, I’d assume at the hands of Austin and Mankind is coming back. The fans chant BS and I mean LOUDLY. Foley gets beaten up even more as Austin’s music plays and he leaves.

Rating: B+. Again, this isn’t something you can grade on a regular scale. It was mainly furthering the conspiracy and on that level it did very well. Obviously Austin would get the belt back the next night as Kane was champion less than 24 hours. That being said, he won it here and that’s all that matters.

Since Kane has been around for the better part of ever, we’re going to skip ahead to the end of 1999, skipping his Tag Team Title run with Mankind and the conspiracy bit with Undertaker. Eventually Kane would team up with X-Pac to win some more Tag Team Titles. Kane would also get a girlfriend named Tori, but she would leave him for X-Pac, setting up a feud between the two of them. Here’s I believe the blowoff, from Armageddon 1999.

Kane vs. X-Pac

In a cage and only X-Pac can win by escape. This is the blowoff to their feud that kept going and going. Tori is sexy to me and always has been. Pac has reached the point of annoying here so that explains a lot. No idea what I meant by that so don’t try to figure it out. Kane goes to the floor and gets Pac first thanks to Tori. Yes of course she turns on him eventually.

And of course Pac can’t do a thing to Kane. King spends the whole match making sex jokes about Kane. I could care less here even though Kane is one of my favorites. After Pac can’t do anything to Kane, here come the Outlaws with bolt cutters. The X-Factor hits on a chair they throw in and Kane is cuffed to the cage.

Many chairshots follow until Tori gets in the ring. X-Factor for the woman that he was sleeping with in kayfabe secrecy. Kane of course breaks the cuffs as Pac is leaving. In a cool spot, Pac is climbing down and Kane catches him on his shoulders and walks him back into the cage. I like that. After slamming the cage door on X-Pac’s head, Kane goes up to the top of the cage and hits his clothesline. A Tomestone gets the three and X-Pac is DEAD. Decent match, GREAT finish.

Rating: B+. Now THAT is how you end a feud. Kane had been trying to get his hands on that little twat waffle for months and he finally did. This is what matches like this should be like. I loved the ending here as Kane looked like a freaking monster and that’s what he was supposed to do. Great stuff.

Kane wouldn’t do much of note for the remainder of the year, but he would get into a fourway at Unforgiven 2000 for the World Title.

WWF Title: Kane vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Chris Benoit

One fall to a finish. Taker still has Kid Rock for his music here. There are about 7 referees in the ring to keep the brawl from starting until Rock is there. Taker vs. Benoit and Rock vs. Kane to start. No tags here so I’d assume no DQ. Now it’s brother on brother violence as Rock vs. Benoit is out in the crowd. Top rope clothesline gets two for Kane. Taker’s jumping version gets the same.

Big boot gets two for Taker. The others are back now and Rock gets a Samoan Drop for two on the Big Fried Freak. Rock and Taker put Kane on the floor so they can brawl a bit. Taker sets for Old School but Rock breaks it up, tossing Taker from the top and sending him to the floor. Kane is back in now as Jerry asks where Benoit is. There goes the referee. Taker caves Rock’s head in with a chair and Benoit does the same to Taker. The referee gets up and BENOIT WINS THE TITLE?????

Oh of course not as here’s Foley to say Taker was in the ropes. Did we really need a Dusty Finish here? Everyone is mad at Benoit for some reason and they stalk him up the aisle. Rock sends him into the set as does Taker. Back in the ring Taker gets two on Benoit with Rock making the save. We get a replay showing that Taker’s leg was on the ropes so at least it was correct.

Rock pops Taker in the head with the steps. Well at least he wasn’t touching a rope. Rock gets his move that is supposed to be an overhead belly to belly but is more like a random thrown. Rolling Germans get two for Benoit. The headbutt gets two and now Benoit is in the Crossface. Now there’s something you don’t see every day. Kane and Taker are back in now and Kane hits a chokeslam for two.

Benoit breaks up the elbow to draw MAD heat. It says a lot about Rock that the People’s Elbow, the most overblown of all overblown moves, is over in Philly. Last Ride to Rock but Kane saves again. Benoit cracks the brothers with chair shots and puts Rock in the Crossface. Taker FINALLY breaks it up after a record for most time in the Crossface. Chokeslam gets two on Benoit as Kane saves. The big guys slug it out and a Rock Bottom keeps the title on the Brahma Bull.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it’s really just like any other four way main event you’ll see. It’s fine for what it was but it didn’t feel like a big deal at all at almost any time. The Dusty Finish wasn’t needed and slowed things down a lot and I’d have rather seen Benoit get it. Then again he wasn’t ready for it yet so I can live with that and totally understand it. Not bad but nothing worth seeing again.

We’ll jump ahead again and skip a short feud with Jericho and Hardcore Kane. It’s now after Wrestlemania X7 and Kane is teaming with his brother to fight the Two Man Power Trip. From Backlash 2001.

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title/Tag Titles: HHH/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kane

Kane has a bad elbow/arm here so that’ll likely play into the ending. Oh and if HHH wins he’s a Grand Slam Champion. The heels stall a lot and Austin can’t even throw his vest into the ring. There’s the bell and it’s time to go. Kane gets a shot into HHH’s head and we stall even more. HHH finally gets in alone and down he goes again. They’ve been on the floor about three minutes now.

Finally the tall dudes go out to the floor and the slugout begins. HHH goes into the announce table as Austin and Taker are actually in the ring now. They switch off with HHH and Kane in the ring now. No idea if anyone is legal yet. Kane chokes both guys but his arm is hurting. Ok so HHH and Kane are the official starters now. There’s the jumping knee and down goes the big fried freak.

HHH brings in Austin but Kane gets the tag and Austin tries to run. His reward is having a mudhole stomped into him. Taker destroys him for a bit and Austin offers a handshake. This is the guy that a month before was at war with Rock. Wow indeed. Taker reluctantly tags in Kane, which makes sense here. Back off to Taker and HHH and Old School hits. Old School to Austin also and Taker clears the ring.

The Two Man Power Trip tries to leave but Kane makes the stop. Back in the ring and HHH breaks up the Last Ride. Double mudhole is stomped into Taker in the corner and we head to the floor again. Austin vs. Taker now in the ring and make that HHH instead. The challengers (kind of) are tagging in and out rather well. Taker fights out of it and gets a DDT on HHH but won’t tag. Not can’t, but won’t.

Austin hits a Thesz Press but the middle finger elbow is caught in an attempted chokeslam. HHH makes the save but Taker gets a double clothesline to put all three guys down. Kane tags himself in and hammers on Austin. Another chokeslam is broken up by HHH and Kane avoids a Stunner. HHH finally wakes up and works on the arm. This is kind of a mess. Austin gets a chair shot to the arm and it’s an ARMBAR in the ring by the Game.

Kane’s face is pounded on a bit more but Kane reverses to pound on Austin a bit more. HHH makes another save as it keeps seeming like this is a handicap match rather than a regular tag. Top wristlock goes on which Kane fights out of again. HHH gets tossed to the floor where he’s able to break up a tag. Austin comes in sans tag and he and Kane botch something badly. It looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but Austin didn’t go down or anything like that.

HHH tries to comes off the top but Kane gets a foot up but still can’t tag out. He picks up Kane’s leg and Kane looks like he’s setting for an enziguri but he just hops for awhile and HHH takes him down. Pedigree hits and HHH tags out for no apparent reason. During the confusion Taker comes in and chokeslams Austin. Stephanie distracts Hebner so he shoves her down and counts two on Austin.

Kane hits the enziguri this time which makes me think they blew the spot earlier. The referee goes down for a bit and doesn’t see the hot tag to Taker. Taker pummels them both and it’s a Last Ride to Taker but he’s not legal a minute after being tagged in. Low blow by Austin to Taker and a Stunner to Kane. Taker and Austin brawl into the crowd and HHH gets a tag title belt, only to get it kicked into his face. Chokeslam is loaded up but Stephanie comes in, only to get kicked in the face also. Vince runs in with a sledgehammer which HHH gets for a pair of shots to Kane, one in the head, for the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was about half an hour long and the whole thing didn’t work for the most part. It was just a big mess with everything going all over the place and nothing of note going on other than the arm work. It was more about everyone doing random moves instead of a coherent match, which is rarely a good thing at all. Not a good main event.

We’ll skip the Alliance and get to Wrestlemania XVIII for a match with no real story.

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Angle has the SWEET black singlet here. He rips on the Canadian figure skating team that had a big controversy over winning a gold medal. Angle says he’s a big red white and blue machine but here’s the interruption. If there’s a reason for this match, it’s not important enough to mention and I can’t remember it either. Apparently there’s something about Kane having a concussion so Angle hits him with the bell before the….uh bell actually.

A quick German suplex puts Kane down and Kurt stomps away. Kane gets up and hits some right hands before stomping away in the corner for a bit. A two handed chokeslam puts Angle down but he blocks the one armed version. Angle comes back with a belly to belly suplex for no cover but it scrambles Kane’s head again. Kurt chokes away on the ropes and a belly to back suplex gets two. Off to a front facelock for a bit until Kane throws Angle off to get a breather.

The side slam puts Kane down but Angle rolls some Germans to put him right back down. A top rope clothesline puts Kane down again but the second attempt lands on an uppercut from Kane. Both guys are down again as the match slows down even more. Kane comes back with the big boot and the tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Now the chokeslam hits but Angle grabs the rope. Angle grabs the mask to confuse Kane and hits the Angle Slam for two.

There’s the ankle lock for a bit which has made Kane tap before, but he makes the rope this time. An enziguri puts Angle down and Kane goes up, only for Angle to run the ropes for the suplex. The Angle Slam is countered and Kane grabs a chokeslam, only for Angle to roll through into a cradle. They botch said cradle but Angle improvises by putting his feet on the ropes because he’s smart like that.

Rating: C-. This was just kind of there which hurt it a lot. Again, I’m not really sure why these two were fighting. There was a mention of head trauma for Kane but that was never elaborated on at all. Also it didn’t really seem to mess with Kane after the first two minutes or so, making it a pretty pointless injury. Not bad here, but it didn’t do anything of note for me.

Kane would be gone for most of the summer before returning in September. He would win the Intercontinental Title at the end of the month and put it on the line in a title for title match at No Mercy 2002.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Kane

Since Lesnar had gone to Smackdown as the Undisputed Champion the World Heavyweight Championship had been made for HHH as the Raw title. That was last month so the ending is pretty clear here. We hear the stupid line of that title dating back to 1904 (it was 1905 until they decided it was 04 when HHH got it) which is complete nonsense.

In short, the NWA Title was unified with a title that dated back to 1905. That title LOOKS like the NWA Title so it has the same lineage. That’s the extent of the WWE’s logic. Lawler says Kane needs Liquid Courage to face HHH. Well it would certainly help him with his covers. And now onto the match.

Kane pushes him around to start and then drills HHH. An amusing thing here is that Lawler keeps calling Kane the Animal. Batista was either already on Smackdown or would be debuting any week now. I think he’s already there though. All Kane so far. He beats on HHH for about the first three minutes more or less non stop. HHH gets a bad reverse neckbreaker to take Kane down. Naturally he sits up to take care of that.

Facebuster buys HHH some time and he sends Kane to the floor. Back in the ring and HHH hits another neckbreaker. Make that three. Dang he sticks to stuff he likes doesn’t he? Ross says if Kane wins he’ll be the first masked World’s Heavyweight Champion. I guess they’re pushing that whole separate titles thing. Spinebuster puts Kane down again.

HHH keeps up the offense on the neck and throat with a slingshot up into the middle rope to keep Kane down even longer. Off to a sleeper now and Kane is reeling. Down he goes as Lawler makes death jokes. Those are pretty creepy actually. This match is pretty plodding and not much is going on here at all. Sidewalk Slam by Kane gets no cover as he’s broken the sleeper and is in control again.

Top rope clothesline hits and here’s Ric Flair because a title match can’t be clean right? Down goes the referee and Flair won’t leave. What a shocker. Belt to Kane’s face gets a two without much drama at all. Hurricane, Kane’s partner, comes out and beats up Flair but walks into a Pedigree. Kane sits up and it’s on again.

HHH comes off the middle and top rope and neither of them work. Chokeslam is blocked and down goes the referee again. To the floor now and HHH takes a chokeslam through the Spanish Announce Table. Flair comes in with the sledgehammer but Kane stops it. HHH gets a low blow and a hammer shot but walks into a chokeslam. Flair (again) breaks up the pin and takes a chokeslam as a result. Back in and HHH hits the Pedigree to retain and retire the IC Title.

Rating: D. This more or less is what would happen in Raw World Title matches for the vast majority of the next year and a half. HHH would get dominated by a big guy but then Flair and the sledgehammer would come into play and HHH would of course retain. Kane more or less was done for a good while after this as he didn’t get to do anything because it was world title or nothing. That was the stupid part of the whole thing but it took about 9 months for them to realize it. The match sucked due to all of the nonsense in it though.

Kane would team up with Rob Van Dam and win more Tag Team Titles. Here’s a defense from Backlash 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

RVD and Kane are champions. Morley is the guest referee and the corrupt Chief of Staff for Bischoff. The Dudleyz are heel against their will here but it’s the only way they can get a title shot. They’ve also been fighting a bit. Bubba and RVD start us off and it’s power vs. speed. RVD kicks the legs out from under him but Bubba pounds him down with ease. Van Dam tries to flip out of the corner but Bubba takes his head off with a clothesline.

Off to D-Von and Kane with the masked man taking over. Big boot gets two as Morley has been fine so far. Bubba comes back in and gets clotheslined down very quickly. The fans want tables as Bubba manages to knock Kane down. The count seems a little faster there. Spinebuster by Kane gets two and a pretty fast count as well. Van Dam comes back in for some flipping offense, including a moonsault for two.

The rolling monkey flip is countered and Bubba hits a sidewalk slam for one. Kane gets knocked down and What’s Up RVD? D-Von comes back in and gets two as Van Dam is in trouble. Off to a chinlock to fill in some time. Bubba comes back in but gets caught by a spin kick from Van Dam and it’s a double tag to bring in D-Von and Kane. The Dudleys are both in the ring at the same time and Morley is fine with it. Back to RVD who hits Rolling Thunder on Bubba.

The monkey flip is broken up but Kane hits the top rope clothesline to take D-Von down. Morley hits Kane low to break up the chokeslam but it only gets two. Morley clotheslines Bubba by mistake and D-Von beats the tar out of him. Here’s Lance Storm to take out D-Von but he takes a Bubba Bomb. There’s a 3D to Morley and a chokeslam to Bubba. Five Star Frog Splash gets the pin by another referee.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t that terrible but MAN was it overbooked. I completely lost track of what was going on in the middle of the match with who was on what side. Did anyone really care about Morley in 2003? I don’t think anyone did in 2001 so I’m thinking the answer to that is no here. The match was ok but it was a total mess by the end which brings it down.

Something interesting happened in the fall of 2003. Kane put his mask on the line against HHH’s World Title and lost, meaning it was time to see the Big Fried Freak for what he really was. For some reason, Kane was just a normal looking person but thought he looked hideous. He feuded with RVD and Shane McMahon before helping to bury his brother at Survivor Series 2003. Undertaker returned at Wrestlemania XX to fight his brother.

Kane vs. Undertaker

The visual on Kane’s entrance is really cool as the set is designed to look like New York City and it has fire all over it as Kane comes out. Sweet. The lights go out and we get Paul Bear’s Ooooooooooooooooooooooh YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. Since this is Wrestlemania, we get druids, smoke, and torches. Now we get thunder and lightning and a gong, which gives us the Undertaker. He has shorter hair now which would be his look for the next eight years or so. The entrance, as always, is excellent.

Kane shouts that Undertaker isn’t real and reaches out to touch him, earning the right hands from Undertaker. Undertaker calls for the chokeslam but Kane runs out to the floor. Taker is fine with that and the brawl heads to the floor with the Dead Man in full control. There’s the apron legdrop and we head back inside for a running clothesline in the corner. All Undertaker so far as JR actually tries to push this as a brand vs. brand match. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets backdropped into the ropes in an awkward looking spot.

Kane chokes away on the mat and talks trash about telling Undertaker to not come back. Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts, only to walk into the side slam. The top rope clothesline crushes Undertaker for a close two. Kane misses a charge in the corner and there’s a big boot to put Kane down. Taker follows it up with a legdrop (BROTHER) and Old School for good measure. Scratch that actually as Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam. Kane laughs maniacally but Taker sits up to a BIG ovation. The Taker chokeslam and tombstone make Taker I believe 12-0.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match sucked but this was all about the moment and making it clear that Undertaker was back. That worked like a charm here and the match worked quite well for what it was supposed to be. This would of course lead to Paul Bearer being locked in a tomb made of concrete. You don’t see the connection?

Lita would eventually sleep with Kane so he wouldn’t kill Matt Hardy. This led to the two of them being married against Lita’s will. This gave Lita power of attorney or something with Kane, allowing her to sign him up for this match at Unforgiven 2004.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane

Lita is here against her will. Shawn fires away at Kane and the Big Bald gets beaten to the floor. See, this is why Shawn is great: you can throw him into something like this and it works very well as can anyone question Shawn being in there? Shawn heads to the floor but jumps into an uppercut back inside. Kane misses an elbow due to Shawn moving even though it would have missed by a mile anyway. Out to the floor and Shawn dives over the top to take Kane down.

The lack of a story is hurting it here as it’s just a match with no backstory or anything like that and that’s the meat of any wrestling match. Shawn gets slammed through the table and he bumps like only Shawn can. That only gets two back in the ring because an upper midcard match has to go longer than 5 minutes. A legdrop also gets two. Off to a chinlock to waste some time. The move known as the Punjabi Plunge gets two.

Back to the neck vice which lasts a little longer this time. Shawn finally gets something going and drops Kane with a DDT. Both guys are down so Kane sits up and Shawn nips up almost at the same time. Out to the floor again and a step shot busts Shawn open. Shawn tries to speed things up and knocks a chair out of Kane’s hands but gets knocked down again.

Kane misses a big boot to the post and Shawn sends his head into the steel. Shawn fires away with his usual stuff back in the ring and drops the elbow for no cover. Michaels starts shaking like Terry Funk and it’s time to stomp the mat in an attempt to surprise my opponent. And never mind as Kane kicks his head off for two. Top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Shawn hits Kane in the Little Balds.

A big chair shot puts Kane down but Shawn can’t follow up. Since it’s a No DQ match we also have no countouts so the laying around is pretty pointless with no drama at all. Lita steals the chair from Kane and the distraction lets Shawn…miss Sweet Chin Music again but the third attempt hits and it’s good for the pin.

Rating: C. This got almost twenty minutes and while it was a good brawl, I’m not really sure what this proves. Shawn, a bigger star than Kane, beat Kane and that’s it. There’s no story or retribution or anything like that. It was an entertaining enough match but all it really does is advance Lita and Kane a bit more. It would take Gene Snitsky of all people to turn Kane face again.

For the sake of time we’ll skip 2005 and Kane teaming with Big Show. Well most of it at least, as we’ll look at the opening match of Wrestlemania XXII where the monsters would defend the Raw Tag Team Titles.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

We’ll skip another big batch of midcard feuds (Umaga, MVP, Great Khali) and move on to Wrestlemania XXIV. Kane is in ECW now and has a title shot against champion Chavo Guerrer Jr.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.

Since that was pretty lame, here’s the rematch from Backlash 2008.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kane is defending after having won the title in 8 seconds at Mania. Chavo has his bodyguard Bam Neely. Edge attacked Kane’s knee on ECW on Tuesday so the champ is coming in injured. Chavo goes for the knee so Kane hits him in the face. The low dropkick hits Chavo’s face but it hurts the knee even more. Kane chokes Chavo over his back and hits a gorilla press to follow up. Guerrero finally takes the knee out and sends him face first into the buckle.

They head outside but Kane catches Chavo in the air and rams his back into the barricade. They head back in but Kane has his knee kicked out to give the challenger control. Neely gets in some shots and we go back in. Adamle is totally lost in calling this, getting basic things wrong and even having Tazz make fun of him. Chavo goes up but winds up on Kan’e shoulders for an electric chair drop.

Both guys are down now but Chavo kicks the knee out again. Kane is all cool with that and grabs him by the throat. That gets released so it’s a big boot to the face instead. Side slam gets two and Adamle actually called it the right name. He’s getting a little better at least. Kane goes up and hits the top rope clothesline for two. Chavo goes up as well and a missile dropkick gets two. He takes out the knee again but goes up, only to get caught in a chokeslam position. Chavo escapes but the Frog Splash is caught in the chokeslam for the pin and Kane retains.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it wasn’t that bad I guess. Kane needed to get a clean win here instead of making it look like a fluke/meaningless win as it was at Mania, but at the end of the day there’s almost no way you can spin Chavo as a credible threat to someone like Kane. Not a great match but it could have been a lot worse.

Kane would head back to Raw soon after this and become a monster again. One of his first targets was Rey Mysterio, who he would face at Cyber Sunday 2008.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

The options are 2/3 falls, no holds barred or falls count anywhere. This is during the Kane is psycho phase #18 or so this year. No holds barred wins but it’s rather close. Both guys charge early as the ropes are red, white, red. That’s a very odd combination. Rey busts out a kendo stick and some other stuff which doesn’t work. The big guy hits a baseball slide into Rey into the post which looked cool.

This angle was never really explained other than Kane didn’t like the mask. I have never been able to get into this feud at all and I still can’t now. It makes Kane look like a bumbling idiot when he barely ever beats a guy the size of Rey. At least he got the clean win last week at Summerslam. Kane’s rest holds look awful here as it looks like his arms are just on Rey with no pressure at all.

We hear about his big heart and I continue to say he needs to see a cardiologist about that. More stuff on the back as this is just dull. Rey makes his standard comeback and hits an enziguri that just happens to put Kane on the middle rope. They remember that this is a no holds barred match and Kane gets a chair. Rey is swashbuckling now. Oh dear. Where’s Paul Burchill when you really need him?

Rey hits a chair shot and Kane is up at one. He jumps into Kane’s uppercut for two as Kane is controlling again. We bring in the stairs as this really isn’t much of anything at all. The weapons use is helping a bit but it’s still weak. Drop toehold into the steps and a seated senton gets two. The chair shots set up the 619 which is countered again. Third time it and the springboard splash end it.

Rating: D. Yawn. These two are just completely boring together. What a shock: Rey beats a monster that on paper he shouldn’t have a chance against. These matches were so predictable and I’ve never been able to get into them. Also, this was supposed to be a no holds barred match and it just failed for the most part on that front. Bad match overall.

We’ll skip 2009 when Kane was doing nothing on Smackdown and head to Money in the Bank 2010, where Kane is in the Smackdown MITB match.

Smackdown Money in the Bank

Kofi is probably the favorite here but I just don’t see him getting it. Ziggler….no. Christian is the smark favorite but I doubt it, likely causing him to further his heel turn. Rhodes is out next with his sounding like Living on a Prayer music. Hardy kind of gets a pop. Drew is the likely favorite here. Don’t expect a lot of commentary here as it’s mainly just a bunch of insane spots. I’d like to see Kane win but that’s not likely. Show is out last, sans mega ladder.

Everyone jumps the big guys to start which makes sense. That of course doesn’t work so we continue one of the longest running feuds in company history. Those two have interacted on and off for over 11 years. Everyone not big and bald goes away for some reason. They’ve been gone for like a minute now and the ring is empty. Show tries to find his own ladder and everyone gang jumps on him.

Everyone is on the floor now and Show has a bad knee. We need a Public Enemy video explaining how to climb a ladder a la Mike Whipwreck. Matt almost gets there but Christian makes the save which the fans don’t seem to like. I always get scared in matches like these. They’re so freaking dangerous. In the words of JR, how do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? Where do you find a 20 foot ladder? If these are 20 feet tall then Kofi apparently stands about 10’2.

Everyone is doing the one person climbs and then one person stops it while the rest do nothing of note. Christian is about to be pushed to the floor but he uses an ancient Chinese technique to save himself from maximum pain: he jumps off. Why has no one done that before? Matt and Christian team up for about as long as Dennis Rodman was married to Carmen Electra. Wow I’m old.

We go back to what we started with as everyone goes after the big guys whenever they start. That’s some storytelling so I can’t complain there. Drew cleans house, sending Cody into the post after a brief dash. I’ll stop the puns on his name now. There must be like 8 ladders everywhere. Kane goes after Drew and rips up both tables. Make sure you move the monitors in your insane rage Kane. There’s a good employee.

No one is in the ring again. Drew is on the announce table and Kofi looks up at the huge ladder. The ring posts are green and the ropes are white. It’s a very Irish looking ring. Kofi hits the Boom Drop to more or less murder Drew and kill himself. Ziggler almost gets it but Show shoves the ladder down and Dolph hits it on the way down. Striker says there has never been a giant in MITB. Uh, hogwash but whatever.

Show splashes a ladder with Christian and Matt under it. Just call him the Giant again. They say that like 4 times in a row without saying Big Show. It’s mega ladder time. The ladder weighs more than Kane apparently and could hold 7 of the 8 people in this match. And he can’t get it in the ring. There is little funnier than unintentional comedy. So after spending three days setting it up, Rhodes makes the save by hitting him in the knee with a step ladder.

Cody’s face and head slams into the ladder. I think it does at least. Either way it looked great. This whole no one is up thing is really annoying. Kofi goes Shelton and springboards up to the big ladder while Show takes forever to get up (his knee is hurt though so that’s fine). Cody hits a SWEET dropkick to stop him from going up. We need more people in this at once though.

We bust out the finishers on the ladder and Kofi, Show, Dolph and Cody are all in the ring. Matt, Kane and Christian have been gone for like ever. At least Drew was taken down in a huge spot. This is already a 20 minute match. Kane shoves over the super ladder and Show goes over the top rope. The other guys pile ladders on top of Show which is a smart idea actually and a fairly innovative idea.

The midcard squad stops Kane and we get a fight between Matt and Cody. This has to be the end. Cody is almost there but Kane saves. It’s Kane by himself but Dolph gets the sleeper on him for like a second but can’t get it. There’s the full sleeper. Kane does exactly what I thought he should do and ducks his head a bunch of times, ramming it into the ladder.

This is a LONG match, probably the longest of all the MITB matches. I’d call Drew winning since he’s been gone for such a long time, although that isn’t much of a limb to go out on. Kofi gets chokeslammed on the pile of ladders. Kane and Cody go up the ramp to a MITB armored truck. Kane comes back to stop Matt as we’re almost at 30 minutes. Matt has it but Christian is right there. Huge freaking spot coming. They’re both standing on top of the ladder and there they go off of it.

Everyone is dead and here comes Drew. Kane comes back and it’s save time. Downw he goes and HOLY GOODNESS KANE WINS! He does the fire out of the corners thing from the mega ladder in an AWESOME visual. I’m a huge Kane fan so this is awesome to me.

Rating: C+. MITB is a match with an altered scale as by definition it’s awesome. This was kind of subpar as there were FAR too many spots where people just did nothing at all and were just laying around. Drew was down for about 15 minutes straight. Points for being surprising though and maybe he’ll cash in tonight. This is fun though as Kane has been both unpredictable and cool at the same time so this is good. I’m very happy so far.

From later in the show.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Rey tries to run but Kane hits a chokeslam and then a Tombstone. YES! KANE IS WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!! Screw any kind of unbiasedness or whatever. THIS IS AWESOME!

Rating: A+. The tiny man loses and Kane is world champion. This is GREAT!

Kane would, say it with me, turn heel again soon, this time attacking his brother (again) over Labor Day weekend. This set up Kane vs. Undertaker in Hell in a Cell at the namesake PPV in 2010.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the tar out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

We’ll make another big jump over 2011 for Kane and Big Show teaming again, as well as EMBRACE THE HATE Kane in early 2012. Instead we’ll stop at Wrestlemania XXVIII for a match against Randy Orton.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Kane would eventually team up with Daniel Bryan to form HELL NO. The two would become Tag Team Champions and defend them at Royal Rumble 2013.

Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars

The Scholars are challenging. Cody kicks Bryan in the ribs as Cole references Queen lyrics. Bryan spins out of a wristlock and the fans chant for Cody’s mustache. Cody’s leapfrog is countered into a surfboard and it’s off to Kane for a low dropkick and a two count. Rhodes scores with a dropkick of his own and drives Kane into the corner for the tag off to Sandow. Kane easily powers Sandow into the corner because, you know, he’s Damien Sandow and it’s off to Bryan for the YES Kicks.

JBL rants about Cole and Lawler hugging as Kane kicks Sandow in the face, knocking him out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT takes out the challengers but Cody low bridges Bryan to the floor to take over. Back in and a half crab has Daniel in trouble but he reverses into a small package to escape. Damien comes in again and drops an elbow for two before dropping the Wind-Up Elbow.

After some knees to the back it’s Cody in again but he charges into a boot in the corner. Sandow breaks up a hot tag attempt and Cody puts Bryan in an over the shoulder backbreaker. Daniel slides down to escape and makes the tag to Kane. Sandow is tossed around like a rag doll but a Cody distraction prevents the top rope clothesline. Kane grabs both guys by the throat and Bryan tags himself in. The Scholars double suplex Kane but Bryan shoves Cody into a chokeslam and Daniel YES Locks Sandow to retain.

Rating: C. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw around this time which means it was fine. The Scholars were a nice idea for a team but it was clear that they had no chance at this point given how low their individual stocks were. Kane and Bryan gelled perfectly well as a team and Bryan would get far bigger very soon.

We’ll FINALLY wrap it up with Smackdown on June 14, 2013. I don’t think this needs an introduction.

Shield vs. HELL NO/Randy Orton

Rollins starts with Bryan and pounds him down into the corner, only to have Bryan come back with kicks to the chest of his own. Kane comes in with a low dropkick and suplex for two each. Off to Orton for some headbutts to Ambrose in the corner before it’s back to Bryan. Rollins comes in and fires off elbows to the head before Ambrose gets the tag for a dragon sleeper. Bryan hits some knees to the head and one to the ribs to escape before bringing Orton back in to clean house.

Ambrose and Rollins break up the Elevated DDT before Rollins hits an enziguri for two. We take a break and come back with Orton being elbowed down for two. It’s back to Reigns who pounds on Orton’s head but gets caught in the Orton backbreaker to give Randy a breather. Reigns misses a charge into the post and it’s off to Kane vs. Ambrose with the big man getting two off a side slam.

Kane misses the top rope clothesline and stumbled into the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel hits the springboard missile dropkick on Ambrose and gives Reigns and Rollins a dropkick each. FLYING GOAT puts the tag champions and Rollins takes a pair of dropkicks in the corner for two. Bryan kicks the tag champions down again but can only get two on Seth.

Ambrose delays the swan dive and allows Rollins to roll away at the last minute. Kane and Ambrose go to the floor but Reigns spears Orton down. Kane avoids a spear from Roman and chokeslams Dean onto Reigns on the floor. Rollins hits the buckle bomb but Kane shoves him off the top into the RKO. Bryan throws on the NO Lock and THEY DID IT! Rollins taps out at 13:48 and the Shield loses for the first time ever.

Rating: B+. The ending was INSANE and a great bit of storytelling as HELL NO and Orton finally learned from their past mistakes and made the adjustments to beat the Shield. That is a huge win for Bryan as he is looking more and more like a star every day. They had to lose eventually and while I’d question doing it on Smackdown, the moment was awesome and the place went nuts at the ending.

As I’m sure you can see, Kane has been around for SO long that you just have to cut stuff out. I skipped several years and I think this is the most matches I’ve ever done for a person in this series. The guy has been around forever and is good in his role as the monster that you beat before moving on to a bigger feud. Yeah he’s gotten old at times, but the guy being around for so long is really impressive.

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It’s time for the post Wrestlemania European tour and things are in a big state of flux right now. Aside from the disastrous stock news on Friday, tonight we find out the fate of the WWE Championship due to Daniel Bryan being sidelined several months with neck surgery. The show was taped earlier in the day but I’ve avoided spoilers. Let’s get to it.

The Wyatts are in the ring to open the show and Bray sings the song as the fans all wave their phones for a pretty awesome visual. Bray talks about people laying his head down to sleep which is when everyone sees themselves as a superhero that can fix all the wrongs of the world and dream of payback. Then we wake up and see that we’re not really superheroes that can fix anything.

We kid ourselves by saying everything is fine but everything is wrong. Bray used to have this teacher that looked down on him and went to great measures to tell him that he was a piece of trash. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and everything he said was a lie. One day he went up to her and asked why she thought she was so much better than him. Was it because her parents paid for her to go to a school and waive her degree around, filling his head with propaganda?

Bray didn’t accept that so she told him that he was an evil boy. That woman is now in a retirement home while he’s here as the speaker of 1000 truths with the whole world in his hands. The fans start singing again and Bray loves it. That is his payback for the teacher that told him he was wrong. His tongue is the scorpion’s tail and he offers to save men like John Cena but John hides behind his false bravado.

The fans think Cena sucks and Bray promises to end this fairy tale at Payback. He’ll be the last man standing or no man will ever stand again. Tonight Luke Harper is going to put John Cena down. This brings out Cena, but he comes through the crowd to get at Bray as Harper and Rowan go to the aisle. Bray gets caught in the AA before Harper and Rowan can chase him off.

We recap Daniel Bryan being attacked by Kane last week and Stephanie saying how sorry she was. We’ll get the update on the title later tonight.

Here are Cesaro and Heyman with something to say. Heyman says the people in the ring are the stars while the fans are the wannabes. They should worship the mic he uses as he talks about Brock conquer the Streak. The fans finish the line for him so Heyman lays on the ground, asking who he is. “No I’m not your queen finally dead. I’M THE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! EXCEPT I CAN GET UP!”

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t exactly popular in England. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start for a slap to the face but Cesaro bails to the floor before the ten forearms can get started. Back in and the ten forearms connect, but Cesaro bails to the floor again. They head back inside for some uppercuts from Cesaro as a JBL chant starts up. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder and the crowd has switched to JERRY. Cesaro sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro ramming in knees to the ribs and putting on a sleeper. Sheamus quickly fights out with some shots to the ribs and the ax handles to the face. Not that it matters as Sheamus misses a charge into the post and Cesaro takes over again. The superplex from the apron gets two but Cesaro charges into the Irish Curse.

Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for another two and they have a hard slugout. Cesaro sends the Irishman chest first into the buckle and catches him coming off the top with the uppercut for two. Sheamus makes a quick comeback but gets distracted by Heyman, allowing Cesaro to grab a German suplex for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C+. Two weeks. He’s been champion TWO WEEKS and he’s already getting pinned in the ring on Raw. Do they just want the titles to mean nothing at all or is this some massive rib that we don’t get? Yeah it’s Cesaro, but was there NO OTHER WAY to set up whatever they’re doing here?

Post match Cesaro won’t shake hands.

Shield vs. Evolution at Payback is now anything goes and an elimination match. We get a video of the end of last week’s show.

Big E. vs. Ryback

This is the first of eight Beat the Clock challenges. The winner in the fastest time gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Payback. Ryback runs Big E. over to start but E. shoves him into the corner with ease. A missed charge allows Ryback to take over again and stomp away before getting two off a suplex. Some hard elbows in the corner have Big E. in more trouble and a big driving shoulder puts him down again. Big E. grabs a belly to belly suplex for another two but Ryback nails a spinebuster and beats on his chest. The Meathook gets two but Big E. slips out of a powerbomb, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Not great here but it’s nice to see Big E. get a win like this. I can’t imagine that the time is going to hold up over the course of eight matches, but at it’s not a terrible time. I’m not sure who all they’re going to put into the challenge to have sixteen guys, but it might help get some people on television.

Some special Olympians trained at the WWE Performance Center. That’s always cool.

R-Truth/Trinity vs. Fandango/Layla

Fandango gets a BIG reaction, at least partially due to having the British Layla with him. Before the match, a LIVID Summer Rae storms out to the ring and kisses Fandango before getting into a catfight with Layla. No match.

Bolieve! This week on Smackdown.

We get Daniel Bryan’s music but it’s Stephanie coming out doing the YES pose. She says the fans should be chanting YES right now because Daniel Bryan is at home convalescing. She says she’s got some…well she’ll let someone else say it. We get a quick montage of Barrett saying he has BAD NEWS before we get a horrible imitation from Stephanie.

She’s thinking about stripping Bryan of the title and awarding it to Kane. Or she could strip him of the title and award it to Bad News Barrett. How about to Batista? Seriously though, if anyone is deserving, it should be HHH. In all seriousness though, Bryan won’t be stripped of the title. Instead, Bryan has to show up next week on Raw and surrender the title because it’s best for business. In other words, no real news this week.

Here are the Union Jacks, more commonly known as 3MB. Here’s his opponent.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Before the match Lana talks about how great Putin is and how the Soviet Union will take over England and America. Slater tries to dive on Rusev but all three Jacks are destroyed. We hed inside for the opening bell and pain quickly comes to Slater. There’s the spinning slam and the Accolade gets the submission at 38 seconds.

Shield still wants to know if that was Evolution’s best shot. Reigns is sporting a black eye from a match against Orton over the weekend. Rollins is ready for Batista tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Another Beat the Clock match with the time at 5:02. They trade some quick rollups for two each to start before Del Rio gets a quick suplex for two. Del Rio kicks him to the floor as we’ve got 3:30 to go in the clock. Back in and we hit the chinlock on RVD before he comes back with some lame clotheslines.

They seem to get mixed up with Van Dam wanting Rolling Thunder but Alberto being too close, forcing Rob into a legdrop instead. Del Rio comes back with a Backstabber for two but Van Dam kicks out of the armbreaker. A running flip splash keeps Del Rio down but the Five Star misses. A rolling cradle gets two for Alberto but he misses the low superkick, giving Rob the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This is the problem with Beat the Clock: the matches don’t have time to go anywhere and people keep having to try for fast pins instead of giving the match a chance to build. These two don’t really have the best chemistry either, making the whole thing kind of mess. Fine from a technical standpoint but not much else.

We look back at the opening segment.

Cena is in the back and says he’ll have the Usos in his corner again tonight. At Payback, he’ll have to face a crowd full of Bray Wyatt’s followers. The three of them start rhythmically beating on their chests and do the We Say Us bit. This was rather strange.

Evolution is ready for Payback and tells Batista to take Rollins out.

Seth Rollins vs. Batista

Shield is banned from ringside, but HHH is guest ring announcer. His first announcement: Randy Orton is guest timekeeper. Rollins introduces Reigns and Ambrose as the special guest commentators to even things out. Batista hammers away to start but Rollins takes him into the corner for a quick stomping. Batista rams him into the apron as Ambrose is toying with JBL on commentary. Rollins escapes a powerslam and we take a break.

Back with Batista kicking Rollins out to the floor but holding his elbow in the corner. Evolution gets a bit too close to Rollins and Shield stands up to stop them. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Rollins before a hard elbow to the jaw gets two. Rollins fights back by shoving Batista off the ropes and nailing a running sleeper drop. A running dropkick puts Big Dave on the floor and there’s a nice suicide dive to take him down again.

Orton teases getting involved, drawing Ambrose and Reigns off commentary. Rollins misses the springboard knee to the head and gets caught by the spinebuster. Dave charges into a boot though and the springboard knee gets a VERY close two. Seth goes up again but gets shoved off the top, triggering a brawl on the floor. Ambrose runs across the announcers’ tables to take out HHH but gets caught by Orton. Rollins comes over to go after HHH but gets caught by a right hand, drawing the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: B-. I was digging this match but it’s a smart move to not have anyone job in the end. Rollins looked on equal footing with Batista out there, which is way more than I would have expected from him. Shield has looked completely equal to Evolution throughout this entire feud and that’s a GREAT sign.

Batista gets speared post match but a HHH distraction saves him from the Triple Bomb.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Non-title. Alicia kicks her right in the face to start but gets kicked in the chest and headbutted for her efforts. Fox bails to the floor but catches Paige coming out and rams her into the barricade. Back in and Fox leans over Paige for a slap to the face before sending Paige into the corner. Paige gets caught with a backbreaker into the corner and a kick to the ribs, allowing Fox to grab a deep cover for the pin at 3:32. Just like that.

Rating: D. Sheamus was bad enough. At the end of the day, this is still Alicia Fox. I think that’s about enough for the explanation.

Fox freaks out again post match, but this time due to happiness. She puts Lawler’s crown on to celebrate this time.

Luke Harper calls Cena a mouse that will be eaten by a snake. Bray says the Usos are dominoes that will be knocked over.

Mark Henry vs. Dolph Ziggler

Beat the Clock again with the time set at 4:15. Apparently this is the final match in the competition so I have no idea what Cole was talking about with eight. It’s not even eight people. Henry runs Ziggler over to start and suplexes him down as we’re already down to three minutes. Dolph falls to the floor but gets back in at eight. Ziggler hits what was supposed to be a Fameasser but looked more like a Rough Ryder for two.

Henry throws him outside again but Ziggler comes back with a quick dropkick. 90 seconds left. Another dropkick puts Henry down and we’ve got less than a minute to go. Dolph heads up top but gets caught in a powerslam for two. He loads up the World’s Strongest Slam but takes too long, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Time runs out though at 4:15 and Van Dam wins the challenge.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward match with both guys missing a few moves here and there. Van Dam winning the challenge is fine as he’ll get a good match out of Barrett. Ziggler winning would have been fine as well so there wasn’t a bad choice out of either guy here. The match didn’t work though.

Van Dam comes out and gets caught by a Bull Hammer from Barrett. Bad News sucks up to the London crowd and says there’s no way this Englishman is losing to a Yank. Rule Britannia plays Barrett out.

Renee Young brings out Adam Rose for a chat as JBL goes on a huge rant about how much he hates bunnies. Rose wants to know where his cheeseburger is and we’ve got a man named Ethan in a cheeseburger shirt. Rose: “He’s got sesame seeds on his buns. We’re taking him to the doctor next week.” The fans cut off the interview to sing the song (JBL: “STOP IT LONDON! THAT BUNNY COULD HAVE FLEAS!”) before Renee asks why Rose has targeted Swagger and Colter. He just wants them to stop being “grumpy pantses.”

Rose has the bunny dance (JBL: “Euthanize the bunny right now.”) but here are Swagger and Colter to interrupt. Colter wants to know what Rose’s deal is and even asks Swagger to stand back. He calls Rose the thing that is bringing America down and he’ll bring England down too. Colter wants to have a fight with Rose but Jack gets in a cheap shot. He goes after some of the members of the party but Rose is back up for the save.

Bolieve!

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

The Usos are here to counter Rowan and Harper and the phones come out for Bray’s entrance again. That’s quite a cool looking sight. The fans start the dueling chants as Cena hits a bulldog and a big boot to the face gets two. Harper gets in a shot of his own for two as we take our final break. Back with Harper knocking Cena down again before kicking him in the face for two. There’s the Gator Roll and a suplex gets another two count.

We get the singing John Cena Sucks chant as Cena comes back with the ProtoBomb but Harper is ready for the Shuffle and catches Cena in a German suplex. Harper misses a big boot and falls out to the floor, only to get caught in another ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but Luke escapes the AA and slams Cena face first for two. Harper busts out a dropkick of all things to send Cena to the floor, setting up a suicide dive.

Back in and Cena grabs a tornado DDT for two but gets caught by a superkick for an even closer near fall. Harper busts out a torture rack neckbreaker of all things but stops to look at Bray for support. Cena comes right back with the STF but Harper makes it into the ropes. The Usos take out Rowan and Bray but Wyatt pops up and hits a pair of Sister Abigails. He goes for Cena but gets low bridged, allowing Harper to hit a Michinoku Driver for another two. A quick AA connects but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 12:36.

Rating: C+. This was getting good but you knew there was no way Cena was jobbing here so there were only a few choices to end the match. Harper continues to look awesome in the ring as a power brawler and will certainly have a solid career once he’s no longer dealing with Bray anymore.

With the Usos down, Cena takes Sister Abigail as well and they take him up to the stage. Another Sister Abigail on the stage lays Cena out again. Bray sings while Harper slowly counts to ten to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Stupid booking of midcard champions aside, this worked well enough for the first part. I really could have done without the bait and switch for the title announcement but that’s what you come to expect from WWE. There was some decent enough stuff tonight and the Evolution vs. Shield segment was great. It’s right in the middle so the average grade seems to fit.

Results
Cesaro b. Sheamus – German suplex
Big E. b. Ryback – Big Ending
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Seth Rollins b. Batista via DQ when HHH interfered
Alicia Fox b. Paige – Kick to the ribs
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry went to a time limit draw
John Cena b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

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We’ll cover the other show long story to start. Shield hunted Evolution all last night and got the better of the old guard almost all night. They jumped Evolution as they arrived, then jumped then again during Evolution’s promo, then fought them off to end the show. As they’ve done since their debut, Shield looked incredibly strong all night and looked like they were ready to run over Evolution at Payback.

Now in theory Evolution wins the second round to set up a BIG showdown at Money in the Bank or whatever the next PPV is. However, I’m not sure where Shield goes after that. They don’t need to to split given how over they are at the moment, but I’m not sure I see the superstar in Reigns that is supposed to be there. He’s not bad, but I see him as more of a Batista while Ambrose is more of the top guy type. Not that being Batista is bad, but I don’t quite see the huge potential as much as I used to.

Adam Rose screwed Jack Swagger out of a match with RVD to advance their feud. Nothing to see here but it worked well enough.

Paige beat Alicia Fox, sending Fox into a huge fit post match. This was supposed to be the start of something, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. Yeah she looks great in her outfits and the cowboy hat really worked on her, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. I’m aware I repeated that because it’s for emphasis. She would literally change from teaming with faces or heels week to week so it’s hard to take her seriously. More on this later.

Now we get to the real story of the night: Daniel Bryan has a bad neck and will have surgery, putting him out of action for an unknown amount of time (I’ve heard anywhere from 4-8 weeks). I’m not sure what this means for the title, but if it’s over two months there’s almost no way they can’t take the title off of him. If nothing else have the Authority take it from him so they can get more heel heat.

One thing they did very well was to get the heat on Kane for the attack. This came later in the show but again we’ll tie these things together instead of jumping around. Later in the night Daniel Bryan was called out by Stephanie but wound up being dragged to the stage by Kane. This makes it look like Kane just annihilated an injured man in the back instead of doing some over the top insanity. It’s very nice to see them leave it to your imagination instead of flat out showing what Kane did as it makes things all the more sinister. I miss little things like that.

I’ll spare you my predictions about what happens to Bryan and/or the title until after we’re sure what’s going to happen to the championship. If they change it however, I wouldn’t be opposed to Kane as a short term champion. Right now there really isn’t anyone else to put the thing on, so why not give it to Kane so someone can slay the dragon?

Speaking of slaying a dragon, Cena and the Usos beat the Wyatt Family in a good six man tag. Cena got the pin on Rowan, which is the point of having minions. It keeps Bray vs. Cena going and apparently we’ll be going towards a last man standing match at Payback. The match should be awesome but again, Wyatt needs to win. Cena has lost them before and it makes me feel a lot better than if this were say an I Quit match.

Nikki Bella beat Natalya in a bad match. The story here was the Total Divas on the floor holding up signs to score the moves. This offended Natalya as I think we’re looking at a heel turn. This appeared to be part of the Total Divas story, which makes sense as Natalya is treated as an outcast most of the time on there.

This brings us back to Alicia Fox earlier in the night. While these may not be the most interesting stories in the world, they’re light years ahead of the 45 second “matches” that dominated the Divas division for so long and made them a complete waste. I don’t really care what happens, but I’d much rather see them have stories than just fill in time and act like they’re important.

Sheamus beat Curtis Axel and Ryback in a row. Much like the Divas, it’s nothing all that great but it’s better than having them do nothing all night and then wonder why they didn’t get over. Sheamus beating midcarders is as fine a way as any to get the title some respect, especially when someone will eventually give him a real challenge for the title. I was pleased with this one.

Dolph Ziggler beat Fandango but the dancer didn’t mind because he’s still got Layla. This is going to need some more time before it goes anywhere, but much like Alicia, it’s hard to bring myself to care about someone like Fandango.

Jim Duggan came out to chant USA, which of course drew out Lana and Rusev. Big E. tried to make a save but Rusev easily dispatched him. Rusev beating Big E. would be a nice win, but man alive has E. fallen in a hurry. Sidenote: assuming he squashes Big E., this gives Rusev the following wins: R-Truth, Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston and Big E. You do the math.

Damien Sandow talked about being silenced and then lost to a cheating Cody Rhodes. At least there’s something there, but Cody as a heel needs to happen already as they’ve been teasing it for like ever now.

Batista vs. Reigns happened and that’s about it. Shield beating up the midcard wasn’t a huge stretch as Rollins/Ambrose were fresh and they both had chairs.

Overall Raw did some changing last night and it’s giving me hope for the future. As mentioned, a lot of people are getting stories. No they’re not the most interesting stories in the world or the most intersting characters, but they’re HAPPENING. That’s something the midcard and Divas have been lacking for so long and it’s nice to see an attempt at it, even if it winds up being lip service.

Other than that the big stories are of course Bryan and Shield, but we don’t have enough information on Bryan yet. Shield on the other hand continues their rise to being one of the best units of all time, even though I’m not sure where they end up. The nice thing, and for one of the first times in years, I have confidence that they’ll make it work somehow. It’s so nice to be able to feel that again.

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